#was this just an excuse to share this knowledge i now have about carps | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thegreenwolf · 4 years

Photo

(This post was originally posted on my blog at https://thegreenwolf.com/its-okay-to-not-hustle/)

There’s this meme going around Facebook right now, saying “If you don’t come out of this quarantine with a new skill, your side hustle started, or more knowledge, you never lacked time. You lacked discipline.” Thankfully multiple people have already skewered it, but it continues to be shared around by the sort of person who is trying to one-up everyone else, or who’s just plain clueless–or, for that matter, just trying to guilt you into buying whatever they’re selling.

Now, there’s not a damned thing wrong with self-promotion. That’s how indie artists, authors, and other self-employed folks get the word out. You have to be able to talk good talk in order to get people’s attention. But leading with this meme? Guilting people for not leaping from sudden unemployment straight into the thick of the ever-shifting gig economy? That ain’t gonna fly, Brocephus.

You Have Good Reasons to Slack

Excuse me while I dust off my counseling psych degree a sec, here. *ahem* We are in a very sensitive, turbulent time right now. We’re in the middle of a pandemic, the likes of which hasn’t been seen in a century in the Western world. We are in a hugely traumatizing situation here. Not just for the financial losses, but the fact that COVID-19 has killed thousands of people and left many more with permanent lung damage. We still haven’t gotten a handle yet on exactly how contagious this thing is, how long you’re contagious for, or whether you’re immune once you’ve had it, assuming you survive. We don’t have adequate testing, emergency rooms estimate that for every positive test there are 10-20 people out there infected and untested, and everyone with a cough is suddenly Schroedinger’s COVID case. Governments worldwide are slow to react in spite of the rising death toll. People have had friends and family die horribly from this thing in a short period of time. Even people who didn’t already have issues with anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses are feeling stressed, strained and scared–and, yes, traumatized. This image is guilt-tripping people who are actively being traumatized.

So we’re already starting with a populace that is dealing with this collective trauma, as well as whatever personal trauma each individual is experiencing. Not always easy to seize the day when you’re going through that. And I can think of a few other reasons that might further complicate this whole “Just get a side gig!” thing:

–They’re a parent who suddenly has all their kids at home, all the time, demanding time and attention and food, AND they still have to work eight hours a day from home, or maybe even more if their S.O. is unemployed/sick/etc. By the way, if someone trots out Isaac Newton or William Shakespeare or some other historical guy who managed to do epic things during a pandemic, remember that they usually had wives or servants to do all the laundry and cooking and cleaning and (if applicable) childcare for them.

–They’re disabled or chronically ill, and don’t have the ability/energy/etc. to just go and make something happen, just like that. Imagine if you just randomly got the fatigue from a really bad flu, and you never knew whether it was going to last a day or a month. And if you tried exerting yourself when you were feeling better, chances are you’d slip back into fatigue-land. That’s what a lot of my chronically ill/etc. friends have to deal with, to say nothing of issues with accessibility of resources for starting a side gig.

–They don’t have any money for the supplies needed to start a side hustle, or the supplies have been hoarded by hobbyists preparing for a Pandemic Staycation.

–They don’t have the skills for something that just requires what they already have (like, for example, writing on a laptop you already happen to own). Often these skills are things that can’t be perfected in a few weeks at home, but may take years to develop before they’re really marketable–like, for example, the skill to make a decent living on side hustles.

–They have anxiety, depression or other mental health conditions that make it hard to function even in the best of times, but even moreso in this…well…mess. Even people who were mentally healthy before are going to be developing diagnosable anxiety and depression disorders before all’s said and done. And speaking from personal experience, those of us who look successful on the outside can still be internally hamstrung by these conditions at times.

–Plus there’s the fact that we’re not supposed to, you know, leave our homes, which narrows down the field of potential side gigs by a lot.

Even doing something less financially-wrought like learning a new skill or subject takes time, energy, and sometimes money, any or all of which may be scarce for the reasons above and more.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

I am saying all of this as someone who is arguably an expert on the side gig. I have spent the past eight and a half years 100% self-employed (and a lot longer doing it part-time) as an author and artist, able to cover all my bills and expenses, and for a time I was the primary breadwinner of a multi-person household. I have like ten different things I was doing for a living before this all hit, a pretty diverse set of streams of income, even if most of them just up and evaporated in the past few weeks. And while I’m definitely a hell of a lot leaner now than I was a month ago, I still have my head above water for the moment. So I think I know side gigs.

I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m overall healthy. I have a dog who is a lot less demanding of my time than kids would be. I have my own space where I can focus more or less without interruption. More importantly, I have the skills, the knowhow, the drive and the personality to go out and seek new opportunities. And I’m used to fluctuations in income, though admittedly this one’s unprecedented. Don’t gauge yourself by where I am now. I’ve spent twenty-two years building up my art business, my first book came out in 2006, and I’ve had a series of really good opportunities come my way that I had the privilege to be able to make the most of. I am not your measuring stick, so don’t say “Well, if she can do it why can’t I? I must suck!”

If you’re feeling crappy because you aren’t hopping to it and carpeing the diem and getting everything done, here’s what I have to say to you: Look, you just had your world turned upside-down. Job loss, scarce commodities, sudden lack of outside childcare, restricted movement and inability to be around much of your support system, and did I mention a pandemic is happening, too? Any single one of those things would be difficult for just about anyone to deal with, never mind all at once. And I don’t even know what all else has already been going on in your life–unstable or unsafe living situation, other health issues, breakups and other losses, interpersonal conflicts. You know, normal life stuff.

You’re Not Lazy, or Screwing Up, or (Gods Forbid) Undisciplined

It is totally okay if all you’re doing right now is surviving. It’s okay if you feel like you’re drowning, overwhelmed by all that’s happening both on a global level and more personally. It’s okay if all you can manage right now is to get out of bed and stumble through each day a moment at a time, struggling with a tidal wave of emotions. It’s okay if you’re just trying to keep your kids busy, dealing with a crowded home every single day, or trying to keep COVID-19 at bay. It’s okay if, instead of firing up DuoLingo or opening an Etsy shop, you spend your evenings vegging to Netflix or reading a book or playing hours and hours of Animal Crossing.

Not every moment in your life has to be about being productive even in the best of circumstances, and that goes exponentially so right now. Be patient with yourself, and be kind. You may be one of those folks who literally has to spend all their time scrabbling to try to cover the bills or get some leeway from bill collectors, and you have to dedicate your waking time hunting for resources just to try to get through this week. Believe me, I feel for you, I have a lot of friends in that situation right now, and I hope all of you can find some relief and assistance.

May I suggest something? If you have the energy for something more than the bare essentials of getting by, put that energy toward self-care, whatever you can manage under the circumstances. You can use it to recuperate, to rebuild your emotional and physical resilience. That way if things get rough again in the future, you have more internal reserves to build on. If your usual methods don’t work or aren’t accessible due to lockdown, ask others what they’re doing to keep themselves grounded in this trying time.

Just because you have more time doesn’t mean you don’t have to throw yourself right into something productive! Don’t feel pressured to just go-go-go the moment you have a little freedom to move. If you do decide you want to try a side gig, or a new skill, or learn all about some specialized topic of interest, go for it! If you have the energy and attention and opportunity to pursue something new, it can be a great coping skill during this traumatic time. Just don’t pressure yourself; keep it fun.

One last thing: I want you to save the image I have at the top of this post. And then if you see someone post that meme, saying “Come on, you lazy bums, get up and make that side gig happen! Learn new stuff! Do all the things! No excuses!” you pull out this version, and you look at the edits, you remember that it’s okay to be where you are, and you get back to doing things at your own pace no matter what someone else says. (I find visualizing stapling a printout of the edited version to the offender’s forehead to also be therapeutic, but that may just be me.)

Hang in there, okay? It’s going to be a rough time, but you’re not alone, and what you’re feeling right now is shared by so many people. So just let yourself be where you are in this moment, and we’ll see what hope tomorrow brings. And remember that whatever you’re capable of in this moment: it’s enough.

Did you enjoy this post? Please consider supporting my work on Patreon, buying my books here on my website, buying my art and books on Etsy, or tipping me at Ko-fi!

#COVID-19 #mental health #executive dysfunction #anxiety #depression #mine

690 notes · View notes

pastthevaulteddoors · 3 years

Text

My brain fogs usually end with me babbling.

This morning @delicatelygloriousphoenix allowed me to babble to them about a thought I had.

And then... It just kept going.

I’m still tired. Here’s a cut version of that conversation.

I had a thought before bed last night 'cause I'm finishing up the extras to SVSSS.

What if someone was reborn into Mo Dao Zu Shi and had to save everyone?

What if Jiang Cheng was the person they were born into? I can't remember the scene properly from the novel, but right before WWX interrupts the summit meeting on Koi/Carp tower, drinks LWJ's booze and accuses Jin Zixun of his labor camp is when this person becomes the new Jiang Cheng. He himself interrupts WWX's rant that nearly falls into a fight and demands that he/Lotus Pier are allowed to keep the rest of the Wens because they burned the place to the ground and therefore have a right to them to rebuild the place.

The argument is quick, and JC is like "I'm taking them" and drags WWX out in surprise. But he turns to LWJ and is like "You comin'?" so of course LWJ comes when he's actually invited to do so. They run off to the camp. JC tries to hurry to get there before Wen Ning is stabbed. They do get there earlier than in the show/novel, but WN is already stabbed (but not dead).

They drag the Wens and an unconscious WN out of the camp. WWX doesn’t go nuts because WN isn’t dead yet and JC is there to lay down some tsundere harshness in his stead.

They have to stop at a village before they get there where Wen Qing can work on her brother and the Wens can rest. JC buys them all rando threadbare robes so they don't stand out as Wens anymore.

Lan Xichen shows up at some point to see if he can't... not so much help as his position won't allow him to take sides on this, but there to 'check on his brother.’ When he gets there, he’s pushed to the inn room where he sees JC focused at WN’s side. He’s giving him spiritual energy while WQ rests nearby. That's LXC’s first little spark of "Ah, JC is nicer than he first appears."

The Wens are supposed to be 'laborers' to help rebuild Lotus Pier, but JC's really just wanting to make sure that WWX isn't forced off to Burial Mounds and becomes an icon of hatred like the show/novel. And he doesn't have to remove him from the sect entirely.

However, he tells a distracted WWX that he obviously has ideas with his new powers and gives him leave to seclude himself to practice/create/invent but in a safe environment. Jiang Yanli is happy that her brothers are not alone yet able to pursue their separate interests/areas of need.

LXC suggests Gusu taking the Wens as well as 'laborers' since Cloud Recesses was also burned down by the Wens. In reality, they have more safe space for the Wens, it's harder to ambush the 'labor camp' when it's on a mountain peak.

This is where the ALIVE yet healing Wen Ning and Wen Qing ask the Lans to take care of A-Yuan as they are not in the best situation to take care of a child at their camp. This is where LWJ and the frequently visiting WWX basically adopt him.

I mean, if the Wens aren't in danger, WWX has no reason to go back to the burial mounds so of course he’d come to check up on the Wens a lot. Which just means hanging out with A-Yuan and the bunnies often. If LWJ happens to be there with him all the time... well... who’s to say what that means?!

Meanwhile, JC is trying to handle his sect with only a bit of help from WWX here and there, although Wen Qing shows up a lot, as does LXC as a gesture of goodwill and to help the young new sect leader.

JC enjoys being a leader and the System provided him with knowledge and ability to train his new sect. He used to be a salaryman when he was alive, this is far more exciting and much more stimulating.

JC is pretty oblivious that both WQ and LXC are absently crushing on this confident and warmly grumpy JC. He just thinks they like visiting him to talk sect leader stuff or night hunt or... maybe he even thinks they’re his friends.

BUT JC knows his mission is not done, as the System keeps reminding him.

He needs to make sure Jin Guangyao doesn't marry his sister but he can't break OOC or share his knowledge of knowing that JGY and Qin Su are siblings... so he subtly courts Qin Su instead to basically cock block JGY.

Which surprises all but whatever. JC has changed since becoming sect leader, or so they say (really, JC is a different person entirely but ya know).

JC is okay with it, saying Qin Su is a decent woman and pretty enough. He'd be okay if they'd end up marrying, although he's very aware that JGY might try to murder him for taking the girl he likes but he's got his defenses up.

The courting goes on for awhile and JC keeps blocking JGY’s advances where he can but doesn’t go further with his own.

A few years later, JC hosts a birthday party of four year old Jin Ling, with little Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen among others... so it's a mini sect leader party, too. All of this without going OOC, he's still a grumpy sect leader but he's less feared (like, in the novel, JC was a friggen murderer! He tortured and killed anyone he thought was using WWX's methods or was his incarnation!). People actually seem to like him!

Late night at the party WWX, JC, LWJ, and LXC were hanging out. They suggest going on a boat together because a lot of lanterns were going to be let off in the lakes for JL’s birthday.

JC 'accidentally' spills tea on LXC's robes so he has to excuse himself to change. The others wait by the boat and JC is like "Oop, I changed my mind. I'm going to do something else" and kicks the boat off with LWJ and WWX in it and walks away. He chills in a pavilion a little bit later, watching the lanterns on the water and a few boats out there when LXC comes back. He doesn't even ask when happened and joins him, watching the boat that their brothers are in. LXC and JC haven't talked about it, but they both low key ship LWJ and WWX so they're of agreement.

This event triggers the Wangxian relationship quest. JC is pretty happy that they don’t have to wait 13-16 years before they get to enjoy each other’s company.

And that's when JC himself starts to admire LXC. Not that he hadn't before, they had become friends of sorts from both rebuilding their sects, passing advice to each other, and generally get to complain to each other as young sect leaders. JC kept distance though, knowing LXC’s sworn brothers are his confidants but now and again LXC even lets on a bit of that drama (realizing how much NMJ and JGY are at odds) when JC mentions "they just gotta fuck and get it out of their system"

But yeah, it's during that conversation that JC is like "LXC is actually really attractive and fun to talk to..." crush style.

Then a new mission starts! JC has to team up with LXC to get JGY and NMJ together. All the while JC is loosely courting Qin Su still. Wen Qing has since moved on with her affections (WQ is fast realizing that everyone is gay and instead goes to make out with Mianmian because yes lesbians!).

So LXC realizes that he likes JC but doesn't think he'd be interested because of Qin Su and Wen Qing.

Meanwhile, JC is like "The author said the only gay couple in this novel was WWX and LWJ but!!!?!?!?!??!?!? everyone is gay!?”

At WWX and LWJ's wedding, LXC and JC spy on JGY and NMJ who end up kissing behind a tree. They're tipsy but success! JC gives LXC a high five which amuses LXC because 'wtf is a high five? that's so cute, what a grumpy dork'

JC outright stops courting Qin Su then, which pisses off her sect, that is in close ties with the Jins, which turn their anger towards the Jiang sect. So JC has to fight with the Jins in a political battle, and his sister is preggers with her third kid so she can't help much.

But it's finally JGY that stands up to his father to stop bulling smaller sects. No hard feelings for stealing Qin Su then dumping her, apparently.

It's about this time when Mo Xuanyu shows up and is like "you're my daddy" Lady Jin already hates her husband's illegitimate children but now she's furious, especially after her friend tells her that Jin Guangshan raped her and Qin Su is ALSO an illegitimate child (another reason JGY decides he doesn’t hate JC for cock blocking him).

All this combined, Jin Guangshan is shamed off his throne. Jin ZiXuan takes up a lead and JGY (now renamed Jin Ziyao as is the proper generational name) decides he's happy with not being an asshole (since he's getting good dickings with his boyfriend NMJ and Lady Jin has finally stopped bullying him) and decides that he'd be content, even happy, being his brother's advisor rather than dethroning him for sect leadership.

But of course there's gotta be drama. Shi Su and Jin Zixun are not the smartest of people but they've teamed up with Xue Yang who has a bit of the Iron. Together, they start to plot against the sects to overrule them, because they're dumb idiots with a semblance of power.

That's about as far as my brain went when I fell asleep and then this morning when the brain fog focused on that instead of on work while I was waking up.

Just something about 13 years later, JC and LXC are pretty close but not lovers yet, when something-something adventure and JC and LXC become a thing in a similar manner that WWX and LWJ did in the novel. RANDOM CONFESSION TIME that other people have to point out to them!

The following is related conversation but I don’t want to put my friend’s part so... it’s disjointed. Sorry not sorry I’m tired.

Continued conversation about wangxian being together:

because JC already knew they'd be together from the show/novel, and LXC shipped them, so they teamed up to get them to confess

That's what I meant when JC forced them onto a romantic boat ride together.

They weren't parted from the Wen fight stuff so instead of fighting at Nightless City, they had time to realize their feelings and not die instead of confess. ;p

Conversation... conversation...

So for so long JC doesn't know he's into guys (LXC in particular, kinda like SQQ in SVSSS) but just like JC in the novel, he gets himself blacklisted from the matchmakers. Meanwhile, this whole time his very close friend, LXC (they're really close now since JGY and NMJ are a couple so he doesn't like to third wheel it and instead spend his time with JC) things that JC is straight and lowkey crushes on him for 13-16 years before WWX and LWJ have to spell it out to them.

but Lan have a-yuan as adopted heir

He'd (JC) probably ask Jinli if one of her kids could be heir

What if Jin Zixun tries to take the sect leader throne or something. He'd be next in line if jin Zixuan didn't die and JGY didn't step up.

#wangxian #xicheng #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #svsss #scumbag villain self saving system

22 notes · View notes

gdelgiproducer · 6 years

Text

DOTV AU: An Exercise in Alternate History (Part V)

Parts I, II, III, and IV offer more detailed context. (To briefly sum up why these posts are happening: alt history – as in sci fi, not “alternative facts” – buff, one day got the idea that DOTV could have turned out hella different if Jim Steinman looked for a star lead in other places, decided to reason out how that might work.) This is still getting a good response, so I’m gonna keep the train rolling.

Parts of the AU timeline established so far: instead of stopping at recording two songs from Whistle Down the Wind on a greatest hits compilation, Meat Loaf wound up taking more of an interest in Steinman’s new theater work than he did in our timeline, and through a series of circumstances found himself volunteering to play Krolock in the impending DOTV when Jim poured out his woes to him about needing to find some sort of star to attract investors. At a loss for any better ideas, Jim accepted Meat’s impulsive proposal, but not without resistance from his manager, David Sonenberg, who proposed Michael Crawford as an alternate candidate. Through quick thinking on Meat’s part, and inspiration on Jim’s, Crawford left the room accepting an entirely different role than he walked in hoping to get, leaving Krolock still open for Meat. There was a brief speed bump, when Meat disliked Jim’s English script for the show, but after meeting with the original German author Michael Kunze and convincing Jim to compromise, things were on the road to being back on track... at least until 9/11 occurred. Following a brief hiatus, everyone involved is meeting to re-assess their options.

Continuing the alternate DOTV timeline:

February 2002: After completing the Night of the Proms tour and taking a holiday break, Meat Loaf requests a meeting with co-star Michael Crawford, composer Jim Steinman, co-author Michael Kunze, and the other creatives on DOTV to assess where things are at. Obviously, people have other commitments, so the creative team may not shape up exactly the same as initially planned, but at least they’ll see who’s still coming along for the ride and get a bead on where the show is at. A dinner is planned at Café Carlyle, a cabaret space housed within the hotel of the same name, on the Upper East Side of NYC.

The dinner begins as any dinner involving Jim begins: with Steinman’s ordering disorder on display, and his manager, David Sonenberg, smiting his own forehead so hard it turns purple. Imagine the headwaiter’s surprise when he takes everyone’s order and hears Jim say, “For starters, we’ll have the entire left half, plus two each of the chicken hash, Dover sole, and seafood salad.” “Excuse me, sir... the entire left half of the menu?” “That’s correct. And for the second course, I’ll have another order of the roasted halibut and the filet mignon. What looks good to you guys?” Meat is not at all surprised; with Jim, you get everything and then everything else. “And for dessert, sir?” says the headwaiter, anticipating the massive tip. “Well, why don’t you bring us some New York cheesecake. And, heck, how about an order of the chocolate opera cake? And profiteroles. For everyone to share.” Meat can only laugh at the incredulous expressions of everyone who doesn’t already know Jim. He orders the table a round of fifty dollar Côtes du Rhône. This’ll be a long one.

First order of business: is the new script ready? “Not quite,” says Jim without even missing a bite. Meat rolls his eyes; typical Jim. His method is seduction. Jim has ideas for new stuff; he doesn’t always have the results to back them up. If he can talk you into it, he can do it -- eventually. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, it’s a cut and paste job anyway. I do have a synopsis so everyone can see what the show will be like. Rest assured, everything’s back the way you want it.” Steinman gestures to Sonenberg, who passes pages around the table.

We now pause to read said synopsis:

ACT ONE

Some time in the late 19th century, Professor Abronsius, a rather intensely wacky vampire killer, stands trial before the Governors of the University of Heidelberg. He has made a mockery of the school’s good name with his “ridiculous writings and insane theories,” insisting that he can prove vampires (and other supernatural creatures) actually do exist. For this “crime against science,” he is sent packing by his colleagues. His assistant Alfred, handsome if sweetly dim, with an ardent and Byronic underbelly, resolutely stands by his mentor and guide. Now gifted with -- however unwelcome -- free time, they set off on an excursion, hoping to prove the professor’s theory correct, and become lost in a blinding snowstorm (Overture).

We are now in a dark forest, three nights before Halloween, near a remote Transylvanian village somewhere in the Carpathians. Sarah, the beautiful teenage daughter of the local innkeeper, is out picking mushrooms with her easily frightened friends when they come upon an abandoned graveyard in a clearing. To reassure them all is well, she says a prayer (Angels Arise). Suddenly, a pack of very cool young vampires appears out of the mist, dancing with rapturous abandon (God Has Left the Building). Sarah is entranced as a coffin rises from the ground containing the mesmerizing and extremely cool Count Von Krolock, an immortal suitor whose call she finds strangely irresistible. The Count introduces himself to Sarah in a most charming way, sings to her seductively telling her of another world (Original Sin), and promises to return for her at the total eclipse of the moon. The lure of the night is strong, as is the promised deliverance from the mundane world she knows.

Back in the village, at the inn, we meet Sarah’s father, Chagal, his long suffering wife, Rebecca, and his beautiful voluptuous chambermaid, Magda, whom he spends most of his free time lusting after, much to Rebecca's disdain. Together with the local villagers, they demonstrate that nothing perks up men like wine, women and song -- and Garlic. Into the midst of the hustle and bustle burst two strangers, the first in twenty years: Abronsius and Alfred, who have nearly frozen to death in the nearby woods. Although the villagers deny any knowledge of vampires in the proximity, the professor cannot be fooled and becomes increasingly suspicious.

After exploring the rooms upstairs in which they are staying, Alfred meets Sarah. He is instantly smitten by her and vice versa, but having noticed the attraction between them, Chagal, very protective of his child, literally boards-up the door separating them (Don’t Leave Daddy). Since the budding passion of the young is highly flammable his solution proves to be as effective as spit on a forest fire. Unable to sleep, Alfred and Sarah sing of their newly awakened desire for each other (There’s Never Been a Night Like This), but they are not alone in their yearning: Chagal sneaks away from Rebecca -- who swiftly knocks Abronsius on the noggin in a case of mistaken identity -- to pay an unwelcome visit to Magda, and the Count returns to invite Sarah to a grand ball at his castle, offering her a chance to make her wildest dreams a reality, an opportunity to quench her thirst for more (The Invitation). How can any small-time girl resist?

The next day, the idyll of a winter mid-afternoon (Everything’s Fair) is broken when Abronsius witnesses a small business exchange between Chagal and Koukol, a hideous hunchback who lives somewhere in the woods. He inquires about the odd fellow, but Chagal refuses to discuss the matter. This does not deter the professor (Logic). For every question there is an answer and no truth that defies understanding -- or so he believes.

But no law rules the human heart and desire is quite an immeasurable emotion. Alfred also offers Sarah a way out: he begs her to run off and make a new start with him (Braver Than We Are). Too little, too late. Unbeknownst to Alfred, Krolock has sent a gift for Sarah -- a pair of red boots and a vision. Alfred leaves Sarah alone outside for a moment and she puts on the boots; she has a fantastic reverie about dancing with vampires (Red Boots Ballet) and can no longer control herself, try though she might (Say a Prayer). Torn between Alfred and the Count, Sarah runs off to Krolock’s castle, pursued by Chagal, who is in turn pursued by Rebecca and Magda who are concerned for his safety, who are in turn followed by Alfred and Abronsius, reasoning that they will be shown the way to the Count’s lair.

At the giant castle in the woods, they are greeted by watchful eyes in the darkness (Something to Kill (Our Time)), and by the mysterious Krolock and his flamboyant son, Herbert, who is instantly attracted to Alfred (Bless the Night). In the same breath, Krolock taunts Alfred and invites the two men into his domain (Come With Me) and the two reluctantly accept his invitation.

ACT TWO

In the great hall of the castle, Sarah reconciles what was once just a fantasy with her new reality, seduced by and embracing her inevitable indoctrination to this family (Vampires in Love (Total Eclipse of the Heart)). Sarah is entranced as Krolock makes his way down the staircase toward her. What has long been just a notion inside her is now a man before her. She willingly offers him her throat, although he resists the urge to bite her there and then.

Meanwhile, given a room, Abronsius sleeps soundly while Alfred is tormented by a nightmare (Carpe Noctem) that is a peculiar reflection of reality. In the dream he is a creature of the night. The following morning Alfred bravely swears that above fear and beyond doubt he will stay there in the hope of saving her (For Sarah).

But Abronsius is more concerned with capturing the Count and his son as specimens to prove his theory. Alfred and the professor make their way to the crypt, hoping to locate the two vampires, but instead they encounter the freshly dead Chagal. Before Abronsius can think of something else, Alfred hears what he believes to be Sarah singing and the hapless duo flee the crypt just as Rebecca and Magda arrive. Encountering Chagal's bitten body, Rebecca grieves while Magda gloats (Death Is Such an Odd Thing). In death she finds him to be far more bearable than in life. Chagal wakes-up and bites them both.

Truly, love is in the air. As Chagal cements his eternity with the women he loves in tow, Alfred has a close encounter with Herbert, who has set his sights on him. The smitten Herbert waltzes with an unwilling Alfred singing a song of love and longing (When Love Is Inside You). Herbert’s attempt to draw blood from the young man is thwarted by quick thinking, but to add insult to injury, Alfred then finds Sarah bathing in preparation of that evening’s ball. He begs her to flee with him, but his plea falls on deaf ears -- she is dying to go.

Meanwhile, Abronsius’ search through the castle has taken him to the library, which he enthusiastically discovers is stocked with every book ever written (Books, Books). The Count, who initially pretends admiration for the professor and offers him eternal life, confronts him, taking the opportunity to boast that the the battle for Alfred’s soul is already complete and that he is the victor.

To his horror, Abronsius, joined by Alfred, watches as, in throngs, the vampires crawl from their coffins, cursing the redundancy of their existence and eager to devour (Eternity). At the same moment, stung by Abronsius’ rejection, Count Von Krolock laments the truth of his being (Confession of a Vampire) and makes a bleak prediction: before the turn of the next millennium mankind, overcome by greed, will know only one god -- the god of appetite.

Speaking of appetite, the moment has arrived! The Count and his brethren are eager to proceed (The Ball: Never Be Enough). Sarah is presented while a disguised professor and Alfred wait for an opportunity to rescue her -- a chance that unfortunately comes only after she is willfully and gloriously bitten. In the midst of the climactic vampire dance (The Minuet), they take hold of Sarah and run.

Stopping in the woods to rest, Alfred once more professes his love to Sarah and the two lovers embrace, singing of their born-again freedom (Braver Than We Are (Reprise)). He believes all is well until the second she sinks her teeth into his neck. Once bitten the couple takes off to begin a life that will know no end. Meanwhile, oblivious to what is happening around him, Professor Abronsius revels over the information he has unearthed about the existence of vampires, unaware that their numbers have grown. As the Reign of the Undead begins, everybody somehow manages to find happiness... Transylvania-style (The Dance of the Vampires).

Back to our regularly scheduled program:

Meat is forced to admit Jim’s right. Based solely on this synopsis, it would be a cut-and-paste job, and it does answer all of the objections he had. Moving the Heidelberg scene to the top of the show reorients things just enough so that at least the focus is shared between Alfred and Sarah. On top of that, every song is where it should be, “Is Nothing Sacred” has been cut from Act II (it appeared in both earlier versions as a duet between Alfred and Sarah lamenting the loss of their love, but for once everyone was in agreement that it slowed the show down and there was no way to make it work), and no climactic shape-shifting transformation to be found (Jim has never been one to hide spoilers). As soon as the actual script is put together, this could be a working product.

Crawford is momentarily rattled by the Alfred-and-Abronsius prologue. “Bit like Phantom to start with foreshadowing and then plunge in?” he mutters under his breath. But Meat counters, with a grin: “I think it’s more like the opening of Psycho, wouldn’t ya say, Jim?” Meat, of course, knows what’s coming. Jim has seen Psycho 23 times; he thinks that if you’re learning about film, you don’t have to go beyond Psycho, because you can watch it a thousand times and find something new each time. All he has to do is settle in and let Jim talk Crawford’s ear off: “Psycho begins, if you watch it, with a long shot of Arizona, a satellite view of the whole state of Arizona, or at least the city of Phoenix. Long shot of the whole city. And then, the camera goes into one area. Then one block, and then one building, and then through the window of that building, to Janet Leigh and John Gavin in bed, nude, having sex. You start at an extreme distance, and it keeps getting closer and closer until it ends up where the story begins.”

Crawford is flummoxed. “...but... how is that...” Before he can get another word in edgewise, Jim is off on a stream-of-conscious flight of fancy: “Lost inside a blinding snowstorm, an innocent boy and a man of science... an unspoken certainty -- where something is shattered, something is breaking through... then their suspicions are proven correct... the wilds of Transylvania... the shadow of a dark knight looms large... you set up the hero first, and then right at the beginning, you need the big horror scene, like when the shark attacks the girl in Jaws, and then in the next scene everything is fine and you go on to tell the story.” Twenty minutes of free association from film to film later, his head spinning, Crawford stops Jim: “Jim, I, uh... I think I get it. Sounds grand. Let’s move on, shall we?” Meat, with a grin: “Waiter? More Côtes du Rhône for my English friend here.”

It’s Sonenberg’s turn to speak about the financial picture, and unfortunately, he is pretty much the bearer of bad news: “We’ve got nothing.” “What about your share of the investment?” Jim shoots back. “I raised my share, but that’s all I raised! Andrew Braunsberg threw in his share, too, but ours combined won’t bring you this show! This is gonna cost at least 12 million, it’s not like either of us has a small fortune tucked away! Do you know how much it will cost for that fucking coffin to rocket out the floor? And let’s say we keep the designs from Europe, which -- by the way -- we can’t afford to do even if we get investors, who’s paying for the six-ton graveyard to come down from fifty feet in the air? Shows cost four times as much on Broadway as they do in Europe! And this is before we get into the fact that we had readings and workshops that didn’t come cheap, even though we had other people shouldering the burden with us. When they walked...” “When they walked, I did what you said! You said we needed stars to boost the box office -- we have two of them! You said we needed the show to have more of a balance between horror and comedy -- we’re nearly there! We’ve done readings, we’ve done workshops, there should be a list of interested investors by now! You’re telling me I followed every instruction you gave me and we couldn’t attract producers?!” “Jim, that happens. The odds of failure in any show biz endeavor are astronomical. You know this. I have this conversation with you time and time again.” “So basically you called this meeting to raise our hopes and then tell us it’s a wash, is that it?!”

Meat can’t bear to see Jim like this. He never could. Jim is always within steps of achieving his dream and never quite getting there, and it’s usually due to Sonenberg’s interference. “Guys, guys, before things get too heated and we say stuff we might regret... look at who is at this table. We’ve got a major arena rocker, two Grammy-winning songwriters, we’ve got the biggest box office star in musical theater, we have a music manager with a list of clients as big as my ass. We know promoters, theater owners, rich people with cash to burn, we make more contacts shaking hands at industry parties than we know what to do with. Between all of us, we’ve got to be able to rustle up some investment coin!”

Meat turns to Crawford. “Michael, I know you were up for my part for, like, twenty seconds. Were you bringing any investors to the table for that?” “Now that you mention it, yes, there were a handful.” “Call them. Explain the situation. Tell them we’re looking to cut costs and bring this show in tight, so they can look at our numbers, offer suggestions for a way forward.”

He swivels in his seat to the other Michael at the table. “Mr. Kunze, was there any interest from other American producers before the show started on this path?” “We had this husband-and-wife couple who were major producers book tickets to opening night in Vienna, but they canceled last minute.” “Any chance you remember who they are?” Sonenberg cuts in: “Barry and Fran Weissler, but...” “The Weisslers? As in the Weisslers who did Chicago? The license-to-print-money Weisslers? We need a meeting with them ASAP.”

Meat now focuses on Sonenberg. “Look, Jim is pissed at you right now, and understandably so, but we need all hands on deck. David, is there anybody you can think of that might come to the table?” “Well... I am about to have lunch with Jerry Weintraub about a film project. You win an Oscar, they all come knocking.” “I remember Jerry, he started in talent management and concert promotion. Theater is a good way for him to combine those interests. He may not bite, but bring up the project anyway.”

Jim weakly tosses in, his engines beginning to rev again: “I could talk to Leonard Soloway. He’s never been major on Broadway, mainly a house or company manager, but he’s produced before, and he’s been looking to move back into that sector. He was very interested in this at the reading last April. He called it a gem.” “The worst that he can say is no, and we’re already starting a list to go down, so give him a buzz,” Meat says.

“As for me, I’m gonna talk to Michael Cohl.” Sonenberg is skeptical: “The concert promoter?” “He’s handled packages as big as this, you know who he’s worked with, it’s practically an encyclopedia of the business. Maybe he wants to move into producing.” “He also wants to put his hand in the till. He’s a chiseler. A bunch of managers complained about him a few years back; he was working this scheme where he told their clients playing this festival in Toronto that there was a sales tax that was coming out of their pay, and a gate charge reflected in the ticket price. Festival’s exempt from that tax and the organization that runs it has no gate charge. He was putting hundreds of thousands in his pocket.” “So,” interrupts Jim, “you’re saying he has money to spend, and he knows how to cut corners and get more.” “Oh sure, Jim, because we want to line up with a whiff of anything illegal on a high risk investment. I’m just saying, if we bring him on, there have to be stringent safeguards. We’ll need to double- and triple-check every transaction that comes through him.” “Well,” says Meat, momentarily unable to check his inner self-control, “he can’t do any worse than the advice I was getting in 1981.” “Oh sure, dig up that dead horse and start beating it again!” Sonenberg fires back.

Before the conversation can get out of control, Meat somehow manages to rein himself in: “Alright, look, let’s not get off the subject at hand here. We thought things were hopeless only moments ago, but now we have a list of... Michael, how many investors were interested again?” “Three.” “Okay, and that plus Cohl, Jerry, Leonard, and the Weisslers -- not to mention Braunsberg and David -- puts us at 10, if everyone signs on. Even if some of them say no, we should still be farther ahead than we were on the producing front. This project is not dead.”

“It might as well be,” Sonenberg grouses. “John Caird’s off attending to other commitments, Ezralow’s doing a Josh Groban TV special, and we need a new set of designs. You tell me where we’re gonna find a whole new creative team.” “David, I don’t have the highest opinion of you, but I know you’re not stupid. You’re not seriously implying that this production only looked into one person for each position, right? Surely we can look around at a few people and get some opinions.” “Besides,” Jim chimes in, “the director problem is already solved. I was co-directing, now all I have to do is call Barry [Keating, Jim’s right-hand man and a Tony-nominated composer in his own right] in to be my assistant and we’ll whip this into shape.”

A deathly silence descends upon the table. Meat is brave enough to be the first to speak: “Actually, I think we need to interview some directors, too.” “Why go to the trouble? I have it under control.” For once, Sonenberg agrees with Meat and says so: “You think you have it under control. Things have been pretty serious in this conversation so far, let’s be real right now: you’ve never directed a musical this big in your life. You and Barry are fine for a workshop, but this is a spectacular with a lot of moving elements.” “I can’t believe I’m hearing this! Half the show in Vienna I had to talk Polanski into doing. Or did it behind his back. A lot! He had a totally different vision.” “Jim, giving notes and making contributions that people agree with is not the same thing as directing.” “I’ve directed music videos!” “You’ve story-boarded music videos.” “What about that one I directed for Bonnie that was nominated for seven Billboard Video Awards?” “Did it win any?!” Meat once again has to halt the argument brewing: “Look, Jim, we need to be serious about this if you want it to work. It can’t hurt to just talk to a few other people. We’re not committing to them.” Steinman is momentarily silenced, but his sour expression betrays he’s still displeased with the present turn of events.

“Now, as for the choreographer...” Meat says. Jim perks up again: “Barry could...” Sonenberg slams his fist on the table: “You shut up or you lose a toe! Go on, Meat.” “Alright, we’re not opening till October, and that means we’re not starting in earnest until August. That’s after the Tony Awards. Let’s see if any real talent emerges this season, and if worse comes to worst, we’ll just hire whoever won.” “That doesn’t solve our problem with the design team, though. Even if we get them signed by June or July, that’s not nearly enough time to design, approve, and execute a whole show.” “Well, we can start talking to people now, and maybe they’ll even give us some clues about a choreographer or director, if there’s someone they’ve worked with who they really liked.” At a loss for any other way to proceed, Sonenberg nods gravely.

At meeting’s end, everyone is in concurrence on the next course of action: actually finish the script, schmooze with potential investors or producers, and put together a new creative team. Preferably not all at the same time, but with the crunch on, they’ll do whatever needs to be done.

Didn’t expect this to be so short or focus on one event, but our heroes have lots of ground to cover. Catch you next time!

#tanz der vampire #Taniec Wampirow #Vampyyrien tanssi #tanzblr #tanz network #tanz discourse #Dance of the Vampires #le bal des vampires #Vampirok Balja #bal vampirov #vampiiride tants #vampiru no dansu #Jim Steinman #Roman Polanski #Michael Kunze #Michael Crawford #meat loaf #alternate universe

2 notes · View notes

tialovestelevision · 7 years

Text

Carpe Noctem

Hello, gentle readers. I’m Tia’s dragon - I write under ruckafangirl here on tumblr, on the rare occasions I actually write anything for tumblr - and I’m going to be covering a couple of episodes for my princess while she’s in the back recovering from an overdose of gloom and misery brought on by too much grimdark. Let’s all try to get along and do our best while we sort out the seething mess that is this episode, shall we?

1. We open on the Hyperion and a jumpscare from Fred and minor social friction with Cordy. I really feel for Fred here - she’s artlessly trying for some bonding with the group particularly Cordy (the only other woman in the group) and failing at it because Pylea. There’s an interesting structural echo here - in an episode about boundaries and unwelcome intrusions, we start with Fred scaring Cordy with questionably welcome nearness. We’ll come back to that in a bit.

2. In spite of Fred’s musing about how deep Angel’s reading habits are, he’s reading the local paper’s community section and getting hyped about a Charlton Heston double feature. The thud with which it lands is notable. Fred, however, is excited. Great little subtle bit of acting from David here - the way in which he proceeds to bother everyone else about leaving has the subtle effect of suggesting he’s uncomfortable with going alone with Fred but wants the company enough to go along with her coming anyway. He also continues Angel’s habit of talking too much when he’s trying to cover for social awkwardness.

3. Switching scenes to a hot (I think? I don't really get male attractiveness) guy in bed with a couple of women who are ready to take a break from the sex we’re supposed to believe they’ve been having. Also, that’s a terrible way to treat a martini. For which he is duly punished by the realization that he has to go by way of melting everything inside his skin with a mystical incantation. Fun touch here: the vibe between the women and the guy (them hesitant for more but overall willing, him pushing) would form a nice mirror image to Angel and Fred in the previous scene if the supporting cast they hired to do this bit were better at their jobs. As it is, the corny dialogue and mediocre acting mean you have to really look for it.

4. Wes is suffering through Fred’s replay of the evening with Angel. I particularly like her observation about the popcorn - active consent in food sharing, she’s into it. Also traditional masculinity props like walking on the street side and holding doors for her. Put a pin in that, because we’re coming back to it at the end. “You know that awkward kind of quiet?” Why yes, Fred, yes he does. Now.

5. Cordy now wants to a Talk with Angel about Fred’s crush. Which is a bit that reads a little weirdly, because the script obviously wants us to treat this as an Important Moment, but David is sitting there with a look on his face that says “I know all this already and urgently don’t want to admit it to myself.” His delivery of the line “it was just a movie” on the heels of his awkwardness in the earlier scene particularly sells the idea that this is a guy who’s perfectly aware that Fred is crushing on him and is urgently trying to pretend otherwise so he doesn’t have to deal with the social awkwardness of his latest protectee’s feelings. Then Cordy launches into a list of his virtues and defects, and the scene switches tones very abruptly into a “smile, smile, object” gag that seems to be primarily about Angel feeling vulnerable about his inability to have sex. More awkward silence. Hey, look, Cordy is stomping all over his boundaries by literally walking him into the room with Fred! Yet more awkward silence. Hey, saved by the bodies hitting the floor! Angel is avoiding conflict by throwing himself at his work.

6. Hey, look, more unwelcome social contact - Gavin following Lilah around and showing off how impressive he is. She doesn’t care for him and plans to make his life more difficult. Possibly Angel. Possibly both.

7. Mooooore awkward silence during the briefing. Followed by leaving Fred standing by herself, talking to herself. Because Cordy is happy to make a big show of worrying about Fred’s feelings when she sees the possibility of something bad happening with Angel, but proactively engaging the shut-in? Nah. Too much work.

8. Cordy brings up professional/personal boundaries and drops the idea in mid-sentence to go hit on buff guys. O...kay? Where are you going with this, script? Now Angel is fast-talking his way past Phil, who is obviously not overly endowed in the brains department (stereotypes about men at gyms much, show?). More Cordy hitting on gym guys and collecting their home numbers under false pretenses. Which they are buying because apparently they don’t have two brain cells to rub between them. Meanwhile, Angel has picked up on someone watching the pilates class from a retirement community because... he’s good at identifying creepy voyeuristic behavior during the night? Awkward symbolism is awkward.

9. Creepy Marcus Roscoe is creepy. Though the business card thing doesn’t make Angel seem any less creepy. He’s pouring on the charm, but there’s something hard under that. There’s a lot of nice detective work in this scene - Angel picking up things that don’t quite fit in their context and trying to find a model that works for them - and the chemistry between the actor they have playing Marcus and Angel is pretty good. Angel’s arrogance about the body-swap spell is played pretty nicely - he’s counting on being a vampire to protect him and it doesn’t.

10. David does an interesting job of playing Marcus here - the way he’s trying to get used to the new body and enjoying it at the same time, the way he really creepily looks Cordy up and down. The gap between what he’s saying and what Cordy’s reading him as saying because she knows Angel and thinks of him a certain way resonates with the earlier conversation between Angel and Cordy about Fred - what’s actually being said and what each person thinks is being said by the other are very different, and both people are drawing their conclusions based on what they want to believe. You can actually see Cordy pick up a vibe from him and dismiss it because “that’s not what Angel could possibly mean.”

11. So we get some fun watching Marcus trip over his lack of knowledge, but he’s back on his creepy track in short order with a not-very-clever pass at Cordy. We’re paying off the conversations about workplace and personal boundaries here, though admittedly not very subtly. They do an interesting play on traditional excuses for workplace harassment here - Marcus-as-Angel says something totally inappropriate and Cordy immediately assumes he’s making fun of her for the pending Fred conversation because (again) she categorizes him as “safe” in her head. There’s also a pretty funny gag using Marcus’s unfamiliarity with the situation and Fred’s nickname to give him the impression Angel is gay (Angel’s clothes help) that mostly steers clear of being played for homophobia, so that’s nice. It would be nicer if we ever actually got any queer representation in Angel which is SET IN LA, but you know, whatever.

12. Meanwhile, Angel wakes up in Marcus’s body and we have some sight-gags about the infirmities of age. He calls the hotel and Marcus-as-Angel gives him some shit and says some lovely misogynistic crap about Cordelia that makes us all want to punch him. Aaand now the health-care worker is walking Angel back to his room and giving us a quick fill-in about Marcus’s streak of body-stealing. Nice fridge horror moment there.

13. So, Marcus tore the office apart and then fell asleep in a chair? Logic is a bit lacking. And now Cordy’s holding out on the casefile until he has the talk. With Fred. Who he presumes Wesley must be because English and making tea equals gay? Ugh. It builds heat for the villain effectively, but there’s something uncomfortable about the show going there with Wes’s “questionable masculinity” when Buffy played with it so often in a pejorative way. Put a pin in that while I try to reduce my blood pressure.... the actors at least play it well.

14. And now Gunn’s back and Marcus is adding being a racist prick and rude to delivery-people to his resume of awful. Everyone thinks it’s weird that Angel is eating (and whose food is he eating, by the way?) but nobody seems to be paying it any attention. We find out that the women in that first Marcus-related scene were paid escorts, which brings back the work/personal boundary idea again and also makes it a lot more uncomfortable (and raises my opinion of the actresses and scripting in the scene) in retrospect. Issues of performance, boundaries and expectation at play there - Marcus is paying for sex and expecting a lot more of it than is normally implicit in the transaction, but playing off his borrowed physique and male privilege to run right over that boundary. Speaking of boundaries, Marcus’s smokescreen about privacy points to the way that private investigation steps all over those and Gunn is echoing Cordelia’s earlier workplace-related creepiness with wanting to interview the escorts. What’s funny when talking about physically fit men comes off not funny at all when talking about women in a traditionally vulnerable trade. Bad Gunn! Bad! And Wesley is getting in on the badness, too. Thank you, Cordy, for at least pointing that out. Aaand Marcus is creepy. They’re now leaving him alone in the hotel. That ain’t gonna go well.

15. Angel in distress. Cute baby. Evidence being shredded. Yeah, not going well. And now we’re about to have our first scene with Marcus-as-Angel and Fred, which is enough to make my skin try to crawl off on its own. Drama is drama, but do we really have to play the vulnerability of the traumatized woman whose coding is “Southern,” “young” and “romantically innocent” for cheap chills? That’s obviously the point of the episode, but it’s frankly not a good scripting decision.

16. A couple of things from this scene are worth calling out. First, Marcus uses the same pick-up line on Fred as he did on Cordy. Cordy reads it as a joke because she sees Angel as safe and a buddy. Fred takes it with flustered excitement because she reads Angel as safe and chivalrous. When Lilah comes into the scene, it breaks the tension a little, but knowing Fred is upstairs and about to go out with this man who she thinks is safe and isn’t is terrifying.

17. About the Lilah scene: Marcus is a creeper with a one-note schtick. Also, watching Lilah trying to read what’s going on is fascinating. Quick cut to Angel having a heart attack in Marcus’s body instead of that, which is annoying, but at least Lilah’s still there when we get back. The transition to sex here is a little strange - are we meant to think that Lilah is really buying this as Angel? - but I’m honestly just so relieved that this is killing time that we might spend seeing Fred get creeped on that I don’t care. But hey, them doing it in the office after she’s done him a favor to get back at her workplace rival at least makes the shredding of personal and professional boundaries really, really blatant. Aaand there’s Fred. Thank you, creepy Marcus-man, for averting that shit with your crappiness. But now you know you’re a vampire, so that’s going to lead to other creepiness.

18. Cordy makes a cheap prostitute joke. Boo, Cordy. And now Fred is having emotional pain, and I’m meant to sympathize, but I’m still too busy with relief. Nice callback to having different conversations here, though - Cordy thinks Fred is broken up about one thing, and she’s actually talking about something totally different.

19. Now Marcus is out cruising the town looking for blood? Sex? Both? We get a weird nightclub scene which is played without dialogue, entirely on stereotypes, and now a woman is being saved from murder by Marcus discovering Angel’s other superpowers. This plays very nicely with pointing out just how terrifying Angel’s powers set is when he isn’t driving it. Put pin number three in that thought while we go to the reveal!

20. Wes puts it all together finally after some unpleasant alpha-male commentary from Gunn and a gag about Buffy and Angel from Cordy. Dramatic rush to the retirement community to save Angel-as-Marcus from Marcus-as-Angel’s attempt to secure his spot in the undead body forever. This is an okay sequence, playing interestingly on the fear of patricide, but it wouldn’t really work if David didn’t do such a fantastic job of playing Marcus as a bad Angelus rip-off. It has a nice feel-good payoff of friends being the key to saving you and Wesley gets a good moment, but mainly it feels like we’re wrapping up the show in a couple minutes because we’re running out of runtime. Pacing is not this show’s friend. Hey, look, it’s the hero walk from the opening sequence!

21. Now we get Angel and Fred talking in the garden. At least Fred already has all the facts because Cordelia got there first, and Angel is self-aware enough to be glad of that. Aaand now Fred’s sharing her pain. Which is promptly interrupted by the news that Buffy’s alive, and I’d be a lot happier about that if it weren’t being played to make me feel for Fred’s competitive heartbreak. Aaaand credits. Done. That wasn’t so bad, was it?

Analysis: Yes. Yes it was. To start with the pure technical question of this as an hour of television - what the hell happened with their sense of pacing? The writing’s not terrible (its use of symbolism and theme is actually decent) and the actors give it their all, but it rambles along with all the tension coming from our fear of what might happen to Fred and/or Angel in Marcus’s body and then fails to have a climax worth mentioning. Its comedy is only funny in a wince inducing way, the drama falls flat and it doesn’t even really commit to the horror premise of our female characters being in danger from a misogynistic creep in Angel’s body - it brings in Lilah and then the random woman in the bar to take those hits instead, as if somehow that’s more acceptable (one of them’s an evil lawyer and the other is cheating on her boyfriend with a hot guy, they CLEARLY have it coming /sarcasm). We’re left with some mild workplace harassment of Cordy, a wince-worthy scene with Marcus-as-Angel and Wes that hinges on stereotypes about gay men and heartbreak from Fred (our designated Innocent Female Victim) that we’re supposed to care about while being relieved that her ‘virtue’ was protected. Ugh. Not a good show.

But we should pick up those three pins from earlier for a minute and at least talk about the premise itself.

A) Angel is depicted by Fred as a chivalrous model for men, which is why she has feelings about him. Cordy says similar things about him, then complicates it by pointing out all the ways he doesn’t fit it (history of violence, lack of sexual availability, etc).

B) Wes’s masculinity versus Angel’s is a running thing in the story - Marcus reads him as “less manly” and therefore gay, Gunn makes jokes about Angel reclaiming the desk sexually, we’re expected to read something slighting about Wes into Fred talking to Wes about Angel at such length.

C) Marcus-as-Angel is a lesson in how scary power is when it’s being driven by someone without restraint, yes, but it’s also about what Marcus does with that power - he beats up other men and assaults women. Pay attention to what he says to Angel in their last scene together - “You don’t deserve that body,” he says, as if Angel’s unwillingness to assert his physical and sexual prowess is a sin.

So what we’ve got here, a step or two down, is a contrast of two archetypes of masculinity with a nod to a third: the competitive, pumped-up, strength-flaunting sexual predator and the chivalric, chaste knight who rushes about saving women from monsters and relies on his friends, plus nerdy English guys who make tea and whose masculinity is questioned. Everything the writers show us is designed to show off how icky the first is and engage our admiration for the second, while making snide jokes about Wesley. On one level, that’s actually really problematic - chivalric concepts of masculinity are almost always tied up in ideas about “worthy” women (writers, I’m looking at you and the way you set Lilah up for sexual assault here), and they’re frequently a cover for a lot of implicit sexual violence. But let’s credit the writers with actually having one good point, whether they mean to or not, and jump off from “are there any men who aren’t dogs” (thanks Cordelia) to try reading this as a critique of toxic masculinity. Because what’s good about Angel, in this reading, isn’t his strength or his good looks or his cool car - it’s his geeky love of old movies, his willingness to admit his weakness in the conversation with Fred at the end, his reliance on his friends, his willingness to use his power (metaphor for male privilege much?) to help others without expecting thanks. What’s bad about him is his macho posturing (it gets him into trouble in the first place), his lack of communication (avoiding talking with Fred, his going off without talking to Cordy because he’s being snippy about her talking to the gym boys) and his insecurity about his sexual problems. In other words, it’s the ways he’s still tied up with the same conventional hyper-masculinity that Marcus is willing to kill people to embody again (and that we're making fun of Wesley for not measuring up to, but let's stay on point). Which brings me back to the hallway scene and David playing Marcus as Angel when he’s stalking Angel in Marcus’s body, and how reminiscent that is of Angelus.

Because the dirty secret of Buffy Season 3 and a lot of Angel is this: Angelus is predatory masculinity - the same predatory masculinity that Marcus hams up playing at - embodied. We meet him for the first time as a metaphor for a boyfriend turned abusive in Innocence, and from the first scene when he’s callous to Buffy after her first sexual experience, he’s playing on every social trope we have for a man who mistreats women. He’s manipulative, cruel, obsessed with conquest, basically the whole list. So we take as our hero, in Angel, a chivalric man from another time who’s walking around with all this dark ugliness of masculinity just one moment of orgasm away from ... wait a minute. Oh dear.

Now we’re back to being problematic again, aren’t we?

I could do six more paragraphs on the way that the series privileges certain kinds of pain (and certain people’s pain) over others, but I think I’ve taxed y’all’s patience long enough. Thanks for hanging with me today, and I’ll see you all around the web.

#carpe noctem #angel #angel season 3 #season 3 #season 6 #guest blog

1 note · View note