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phoenix----rising · 6 months

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𝑣𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑜 𝑏𝑦 𝐴𝑛𝑖𝑚𝑒.𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑠.𝑠𝑞𝑢𝑎𝑑

#I’m such a sucker for stuff like that...#you can see the sacred geometry in almost everything if you look for it...#art #colors #painting #physics #science #watercolor #vortex #slow motion #water #collision

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genshin-scenarios · 2 months

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I feel your heart— beat beat beat

Summary: in which they FALL fall for you 💘 or just cute moments together!

Characters: Venti, Wanderer, Xiao, Diluc (mentions of alcohol/drinking)

Requests are open, and my Adopt a Wanderer fanbook is now available on my kofi for anyone that's missed it!

In a moment where the city of Mondstadt is abuzz with activity and Venti’s on the high of a performance well-done, he turns around to address the crowd in a big, sweeping motion — only for his eyes to widen when he sees you in the distance, taken aback by the feeling of his own heart skipping.

You’ve been so busy as of late, after all! It’s only reasonable for him to be surprised to see you, to the point where his easy smile slips off his face, and the concern and worry that comes with affection squeezes his chest — for as much as he adores you, Venti also worries that you might disappear as quickly as the wind.

But! He is nothing if not a seasoned performer by reflex, recovering in a millisecond. The hand clutched to his chest quickly relaxes to perch atop his lyre, and Venti calls you over with his usual charming lilt.

“You’re back! And here I was starting to worry you’re avoiding me on purpose!”

As casually playful his words are, you stand, stunned, at how Venti manages to stand so close yet linger just out of reach at the same time. He flits around you, braids tickling your ear (“Your hair’s gotten longer!”) and fingers grazing yours in an almost-handshake and almost-pulling you into a hug.

While Venti might argue that you’re the one driving him crazy, you beg to differ with the way his actions make you dizzy and miss him all at the same time.

When you’ve both fallen into an odd domain that recreates past memories, Wanderer finds himself in his Kabukimono garb once again. But before he’s able to say anything to you, he freezes that the way you regard his ‘past’ form; loses the strength to put any words past his tongue when you kneel down to his height in a room fluttering with sakura blossoms—a prison disguised as a display case—with sceneries flowing against the walls in an illusion of the real world.

Consciously, he is still Wanderer - yet every brave and indignant part of himself shrinks into the shell of his body when your hand rests on his cheek, smiling so kindly that he thinks his connectors might simply decide to collapse. He plays the part of Kabukimono and asks who you are.

You accept that statement as a confirmation you were speaking to his past self, and even months into the future Wanderer never finds out if you knew it was the usual him all along.

But maybe ignorance is bliss for now, if it means the way you comforted and reassured a shard of his broken past that things will be okay was real.

“You’ll end up finding a place to belong, and you’ll become strong like you always wanted.

And… as long as you don’t tire of me, you’ll be loved as well. To the moon and back, no matter how many times the world turns upside-down.”

He’d blinked back at you glassily, mustering every emotion from spilling out until a tear curved down his cheek. You both wake up after his promise, hearts heavy.

“...I’ll find you every time, even if the world was reset and I lose my own name.”

After the battle with Beisht (Avenger of the Vortex), the last thing you expected was for Xiao to appear immediately before you, engulfing you in a hug that’s tighter than usual: I was worried. How could you do that without calling for help? Are you hurt? Are you okay?

“...You’re not hurt.” Xiao finally says. Words have power. You confirm that you’re unharmed, and his grip on you loosens. Hug still engaged, he sighs with his forehead pressed into your shoulder. “You’re an idiot.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you.” Annoyed glance. Unconvinced golden eyes. “I… promise not to get into any more trouble for at least three months.”

“You better hold true to that oath.” Xiao finally lets go, but you continue walking together with hands brushing on occasion. “Have you eaten? Or do you need to rest?”

“I can cook dinner if you want.”

“...Does it always seem like I ask you to cook for me?”

“I comply because it’s a compliment from the Conquerer of Demons.” You give him a teasing smile. “It’s a small offering in comparison to the protection of Liyue, and I have to make sure I feel at ease enough to get my beauty sleep! And—”

“Enough. I’ll cook this time.”

“You didn’t let me finish! Getting to see a handsome adeptus also brings me nice dreams. So you just have to stand there to keep me company.”

“You dare reduce me to a house decoration?” Xiao’s avoiding your gaze now, turning away so you can’t croon at the blush on his cheeks. “We’ll cook together. Fighting Beisht has made you spew nonsense.”

Diluc’s not very fond of cushy dinners, mostly because the purpose of them is to try and earn his favor as the head of the Ragnvindr Clan. He’s far outgrown the small talks and fake smiles, so of course he rejects those invitations in favor of another social event he claims to dislike but you suspect he secretly enjoys — drinking parties at Angel’s Share.

He doesn’t enjoy drinking by any means, but you’re sure after observing Diluc many times that he likes the lively atmosphere; seeing your friends make fools of themselves and speak loosely with relaxed smiles reminding him of simpler times.

And so, maybe Diluc has a glass of wine or two. You aren’t sure what his alcohol tolerance is, but in short you end up sitting at the bar with him, and you swear he’s leaning against the counter while you banter, gazing up at you with a fondness that makes you afraid you’ll break the spell of the moment.

It’s a little delusional to think this of the Diluc Ragnvindr, but he looks pretty. And if you gulped down another drink, maybe you can convince yourself he’s leaning towards you with his hair slightly disheveled because he likes you too.

“Come on, they’re not that drunk.” You play back. The lighthearted argument makes Diluc seem a little younger. Or maybe that’s just how he looks when he’s not consciously frowning or lips pressed into a serious line.

“Kaeya’s missing all his targets on the dartboard. I’d call that drunk enough.”

“You can tell? I don’t think I’d be able to even if I was sitting with them now.”

“So you’d rather be talking to them?” Diluc raises his brow, surprising you. He doesn’t say anything for a beat, then another, before a gleeful laugh bubbles from your lips.

“Are you feeling jealous?” You lean closer to Diluc, faces an inch apart. The bravado that courses through your veins is quickly extinguished and flares into burning hot fluster when Diluc’s fingers curl around your chin:

“And if I said yes?” His words ghost over your lips. Your ears are on fire.

Oh no.

#genshin x reader #genshin reader insert #genshin impact imagines #genshin x you #genshin headcanons #wanderer x reader #scaramouche x reader #scara x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #venti x reader #genshin venti #diluc ragnvindr x reader #diluc x reader #xiao x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin impact fluff #traveler wishes #genshin writing

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hazbin-a-helluvamagines · 27 days

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How bout angel dust, Verosika and Alastor with a puppy hybrid s/o? Like, they have puppy ears and tail and has some dog like tendencies?

For example: they love to bite and play with dog toys,they bark and growl, they LOVE headpats and being called "good boy/girl"

You can remove 2 characters if it's too much.

"Good Puppy!" ; Alastor, Angel Dust, Verosika Mayday

I'll be honest here: I have no idea how you got this to happen, because this man absolutely HATES dogs, and therefore hated you when he first met you. And he's honestly quite possibly the worst one to be with as a puppy hybrid.

He was exceptionally cruel, calling you a "mangey mongrel", a "rabid mutt", and just about any cruel name for a dog under the sun.

Will try to make you act more human. He'd despise your dog features. Dogs remind him of his death, and that's something he'd rather not deal with.

If you've managed to start dating him, he'll be slightly more polite, but still make his distaste for those features very apparent to you.

"S/O, must you constantly be wiggling that furry abomination?"

It isn't that he means to be mean, but, well, in some primal way, you scare him, and he doesn't know how to cope with feeling that helpless.

If you growl or bark at him, you will ROYALLY piss him off, and he will actually need to leave to avoid either lashing out at you or having a mental breakdown.

Fortunately, with enough time and patience, he will eventually calm down and begin to regard you as safe, and not someone he needs to fear. Then he'll become noticeably kinder to you.

"Well, aren't you just a dandy little pup! Excited to see me, hm? Such a good boy/girl~."

He may have started off cold, but he's trying to be better for you now.

He isn't sure how he feels about dog toys and the like, but hey, he's a literal cannibal and serial killer, who is he to judge? As long as you're having fun.

Eventually, he'll begin to give you those headpats you so crave, realizing how happy it makes you. He can stand a bit of discomfort for your sake.

But seriously... please don't bark or growl at him, he still doesn't like the moment of panic he's forced to feel when that happens.

He wouldn't do it to you, so don't do it to him. That's his one boundary with your dog-like behavior/appearance.

Oh boy. He'd be the one constantly flirting and teasing you for your traits, but in a loving (and very NSFW) manner.

"What's with the tail, Ears? Got a pet play kink or somethin'?"

When he finds out you ACTUALLY enjoy being called a good boy, that actually sets off every single one of his teasing instincts.

Every single day, you'll hear a joke about you having a praise kink, purely because it makes Angel laugh.

But he's only teasing, of course. If you actually tell him you're uncomfortable, of course he'll stop. The last thing he wants is for you to feel uncomfortable with him.

He'll also get you dog toys and chew toys if you find them fun!

And his absolute favorite thing to do is pet your ears and ruffle your tail, especially if they're as fluffy as his chest is! He finds the sensation soothing.

If you growl at him, chances are he'll growl back at you just to mess with you.

Or he'll make a claw motion and do the little "rawr~" thing because he finds it amusing how you react when you don't know how to respond to something.

He'll also definitely tease you if your tail ever wags.

"That a tail or are ya just happy ta see me, baby boy~?"

He's a tease but... very sweet. Toward you, at least.

At first, she didn't really see the appeal of dating a puppy hybrid. She treats Vortex like a guard dog, and she initially expected you to be the same.

But of course, who could resist a cute puppy? She quickly warmed up to you, finding you absolutely adorable. Whereas Verosika is sultry and seductive, you were cute and innocent, and she loved that about you.

She'd often find herself petting your head and telling you what a good boy/girl you were, seemingly without actually consciously meaning to. She just couldn't resist, the puppy eyes were too much for her!

"Aww, S/O! Such a good boy/girl! Who's my good boy/girl? You are! Yes you are!"

Yeah, even after you start dating, that doesn't change. She still calls you that, but her affections now run even deeper.

As in, she buys you a LOT of dog toys. A lot. She doesn't know why you love them so much, but she knows she wants you to be happy, because you absolutely deserve it.

She's also greatly amused whenever you bark or growl, but shh, don't tell anyone. That isn't part of her persona!

Sometimes, when you're cuddling, she'll wrap her tail around yours and slowly wag them both, since she knows it both stimulates you and expresses affection.

She'd also probably use your barking and growling to her advantage to scare people she doesn't like off. Nine times out of ten, it works. Dogs can be pretty scary when they're not being friendly actively, and puppies are no different.

"That was amazing, S/O. You really know how to scare a little bitch off!"

You didn't really mean to scare anyone, but you were happy Verosika was happy.

She did send that person an apology note at your insistence, though, luckily.

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dragonseeds · 25 days

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besides daemon as a gothic heroine trutherism the reason i want to see more of harrenhal on house of the dragon is because i always thought it would play a significant role in twow/ados. if king’s landing gets annihilated due to some combination of wildfire, dragon fire, and jon connington bell-related ptsd and winterfell is in the hands of the boltons—and there must always be a stark in winterfell, which aside from being propaganda actually has something simmering there—where on the continent do these storylines converge?

it’s chekov’s monstrously huge castle that no one family can hold, that can hold armies, right in the middle of the continent—a liminal space, a temporal vortex, haunted and cursed, hungry and waiting. it sits on the god’s eye, where the first men and the children of the forest made their pact, where dragons died, where gendry realized who arya was just as rhaegar realized who lyanna was. balerion made a pyre out of the highest tower and there are weirwoods built into the beams and rafters. it’s where jaime was claimed and sent away by an unworthy king and where he returned to save brienne in a moment of certainty and bravery that sucked him into the past and propelled him forward all at once. littlefinger holds it and holds sansa captive, but she has giants to slay and the vale has men. the timing of its completion with aegon’s conquest, how he burned it that first day, and that it’s where jaehaerys held the great council that set into motion the dying of the dragons—but daenerys is a character who symbolizes rebirth, redefinition, reclamation (of her body, of her name, of her legacy: if the throne her family built burns like a pyre, melts like harren’s tower, what better place to restart than a castle that was also burnt and survived? and if arya goes back there, will it seem like an old friend this time?) like we’ve got to go back. the dragons are back. we’ve got to go back. different roads lead to the same castle. am i losing my mind.

#i need to reread the books and see if i still feel this way actually #but like. before i do does anyone want to go to harrenhal w me #harrenhal #asoiaf

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nu11lar · 9 months

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𐚁֙࿐ drunk & nasty ! chuuya nakahara ︱ having drunk sex doesn't seem so bad...

𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓼 ... oral (m. receiving), biting, hints of masochism, dacryphilia, hair pulling, riding, creampie, unprotected sex, drunk (?) sex, getting interrupted by your cat, boob sucking, rough sex, nipple pinching, small mention of breeding, lmk if i miss any !

poor you! you're a mess already.

"mmf! it won't fwit chuuwya!" your mouth was stuffed in his cock deep down your throat, his fat tip was already bulging in your throat. tears were threatening to spill on your waterline down to your cheeks, mascara and eyeliner being smudged and ruined already from the tears.

"i'll make it fit." chuuya spoke breathlessly, you could already smell the intoxicating breath of the red wine he had recently bought. his cheeks flushed from being tipsy and drunk, but they were also flushed from your warm mouth sucking down his cock.

you whined from his words, feeling the arousal grow in-between your inner thighs that you could feel your panties having a little wet patch in the lacey fabric. feeling chuuya's hand grip on your scalp and giving it a gentle tug, slowly pushing your head further down that your mouth could reach all the way until you could feel his balls.

a gag escaped your throat, feeling more tears soak up your flushed cheeks as you can feel your eyes roll. chuuya let's out a low moan, gripping on your scalp tighter while your hands clenched on his thighs.

"haah- be careful there, don't choke." he teased, a shit eating grin curling up his lips as he looked down to see your fucked out expression. you looked so cute this way that he just wanted to fuck your pretty little throat real good, but not for tonight. one of your hands left his thigh when it slowly trailed down in-between your thighs, feeling the wetness grow in your lacey panties.

slipping your hand under your soaked panties when your middle and ring finger slowly rubbed your clit in circular motion, and chuuya realized on what you were doing which made him more amused,"such a fuckin' slut, already touching yourself?" he moved your head up and down his cock, your tounge twirling around his shaft and feeling each girth and vein he has on his big cock, and it turned chuuya on even more.

your lips and mouth sucked his cock in like a vortex, and god was he enjoying this so much, shamelessly whimpering out your name and throwing his head back on the headboard. god he's so sexy.

you moaned on his cock while your fingers still rubbed your clit in circles, vibrating his cock with your voice which caused chuuya to slip out a loud moan. you closed your eyes, continuing on sucking him off while you masturbated like a needy little whore.

"move your head faster, c'mon you can do this..." he whimpered, his face looking almost pleading when he said to go faster. in which, you did obviously. he praised you for doing so, his lips parting into a smile that you can see his pearly white teeth. your eyes slowly opened, feeling close to your orgasm while your fingers moved faster on your clit, letting out pornographic moans on this cock.

"shit doll- m'fuckin close..." he breathed out, your thighs quivering while you felt close to orgasming aswell. your slurping and sucking got more inconsistent and sloppy, your wet juices messing up your fingers,"m'gonna cum on that pretty mouth of yours, and you better swallow every drop of my sperm. got it?" chuuya demanded, turning you on more while you made intense eye contact with him. you nodded eagerly by his demand before you felt chuuya's hand shoving your whole mouth balls deep into his cock, he let's out a loud groan in response as he spilled out his cum deep into your throat.

your eye's widened in shock before you found yourself squirting into your fingers, your eye's rolled to the back of your skull while his cum kept on filling your slutty mouth. chuuya watched in awe, his thighs quivering as his breath was heavy and hot,"ah- that's it, take it... just like that doll." he spoke in a low whisper,"swallow it like a good girl." he whined, as you were a complete mess; your legs shaking like crazy, tears dripping down your flushed cheeks, your tight pussy now feeling sensitive, and your throat strugguling to swallow his seed. chuuya loved every second of you being a mess under a minute.

you moved your head back, your mouth leaving his lengthy cock while saliva dripped down your chin and on his cock. your breath was hoarse and heavy and your eye's glimmered in tears, and boy you look so fucking pretty this way. chuuya chuckled lightly,"you made a mess already, and to be honest... m' not complanin." he smirked as you took your time to swallow his thick cum,"t-too muwch..." you spoke with your mouth full, your thumb gently wiping away the excess cum on your chin,"don't talk with your mouth full doll." chuuya then suddenly pulled you by the waist, making you land on his lap.

you yelped in surprise not expecting this to happen so quickly, but chuuya was getting impatient that he unzipped your dress with a blink of an eye, not only was he drunk but he was pussydrunk aswell. he eagerly undressed you, more and more skin being exposed that caused you to shudder in excitement and make your nipples hard. the only thing being covered by you were your panties, no bra, no stockings, no nothing. just you, and your panties.

chuuya smirked, his lips pressing against the crook of your neck and kissing it hungrily. he was starving for you, like a bitch in heat. you gasped in surprise, your fingers slipping under his orange hair and tugging it gently, making chuuya moan against your skin.

he's getting hard again.

his hungry kisses soon turned into bites, marking your sensitive skin that would 100 % be visibly obvious by tomorrow. you squirmed under his touch, turning chuuya on even more that he couldn't help but already slip his hands under your panties, hinting you to take them off. and you did, you were getting needy and anticipated aswell.

"chuuya- please... lemme feel you." your voice was getting whiny, and chuuya knew you were getting impatient. his lips curled into a smirk against your skin, one of his hands going to your ass and giving it a good squeeze. everything that you were doing right now was turning him on, your whiny voice, the way you beg him to put it in, god you were tempting him. his other hand soon groped your boob, squeezing it, playing with it, fondling it and pinching your nipple.

your moans grew louder and more vocal and finally, chuuya let's go of your neck and positioned himself comfortably. he grabbed you by the hips as he rested his back against the headboard, watching you with a smirk before his lips leaned close into your ear.

"ride me dollface."

oh god. you couldn't belive what you just heard, but you went with it. biting your lip with eagerness before you grabbed his hardened cock, making chuuya whince at the touch. he hissed as you started giving it a few good strokes before his fat tip kisses your folds, making you let out a whine. his grip on your thighs tightened, nails digging deep into your sensitive skin,"you're so fuckin' wet, just for me yeah?" his eye's remained focused down when you slowly put half an inch of his length into your wet pussy, when he asked you that question you nodded without hesitation, obviously he's the one who makes you wet, always.

"baby s'too big." you whined, your hand clenching on his shoulder as you hissed in pleasure, but chuuya chuckled,"it's not even fully in, doll." he kept on giving your hips a squeeze that it would probably leave bruises by the morning, as you tried to take it slow, seeping into his cock inch by inch.

suddenly, you heard your bedroom door creak slightly. causing you to whince on who cockblocked the situation.

meow.

it was your cat, you and chuuya immediately turned to see your cat just sitting there and watching,"the fuck?" chuuya chuckled as you felt slightly embarrassed by it,"shit..." you mumbled under your breath, feeling your cheeks grow bright red in embarrassment,"she can't see us fucking like this!" you turned to look at chuuya but he insisted,"let her watch to see how good her mommy fucks her boyfriend." he cooed, giving your ass a slap as you squirmed.

you weren't even fully in into his cock but once he said those word's you buck your hips and sat fully on his cock, making you two let out a moan at the same time,"good girl..." his voice trembled by feeling your warmth hugging his cock perfectly, your gummy walls clenching around his cock as you felt every girth and vein pulse into your pussy, his tip almost kissing your cervix already.

you slowly started to bounce on his cock, your ass jiggling once it claps against his thighs as chuuya let's out a choked moan. his cock already being slicked with your precum that the only thing being heard were the squelches of your pussy going down balls deep into his cock. you started to bounce on him faster, your tits going up and down as your moans grew vocal and loud that you even forgot your cat was even sitting there at the edge of your doorstep.

"fuck- you're so fuckin' tight! shit... i love this." he spoke in-between his moans, they're so attractive they're turning you on even more. his thumb made contact with your clit, rubbing it in circles that made your whole body tremble. both of you were in control of each other, his mouth getting stuffed by your boobs as his tounge circled around your nipples and sucking them, sometimes he even bites your nipples. you were getting close to your high, clenching on him tighter as you continued going at a fast pace, the skin on skin contact growing louder and the bed creaking back and forth that at any moment it could break already.

"chuuya! chuuya! chuuya!" you chanted, your hands grasping on his shoulders tightly while you looked down to see him groping and sucking your boob, it's driving you crazy. everything started getting sloppy, feeling close to your orgasm as your juices slicked against his cock when the squelches of your insides were being heard loud and clear,"t-too much! m'gonna cum!" you cried out, tears coming out of your eyes again and threatening to spill down your flushed cheeks, you can feel chuuya's cock twitching inside you as you only bounced on him harder and deeper that you can see stars.

"ah- cum on my cock, dollface." you can tell that he was about to break too, and it was cute and sexy at the same time. with a few more bounces you finally snapped, creaming on his cock uncontrollably and moaning out his name that everyone in yokohama could hear. your body was weak and limp, not being able to hold up any longer but chuuya still didn't cum inside you.

he grinded against your pussy, letting out low grunts and moans as he finally fills up your starving pussy, clenching around him more and milking him with every drop that he lets out. his eye's were glossy aswell but tears didn't drip down his cheeks, breathless and still murmuring your name after what just happened, but still, he wasn't fully satisfied with just one round on filling you up. he wanted to breed you and make you pregnant with his kids, and that's what he's about to do now.

after a few minutes passed, you two regained your composure and energy,"holy shit, that was-" before you can even speak you felt him push your back against the mattress, making you squeal in surprise,"c-chuuya..?!" you looked up at him in shock when he smirked, his cock still buried deep inside you.

"m'gonna breed you countless times 'til that pregnancy test shows up positive by tomorrow."

a/n: i was ovulating im sorry😔 reblogs are much appreciated! 🩷

#chuuya x reader #chuuya smut #bsd smut #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya nakahara smut #chuuya nakahara x you

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halsteadlover · 6 months

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𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

*Gif and pic not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader.

• Requested: no.

• Summary: your life is amazing. You have everything you wished for, a caring and beautiful husband, a satisfying job, an amazing house. What if in a matter of seconds, your incredible fairy tale is about to take a tragic twist?

• Warnings: angst, mention of car crash, blood, wounds, curse words, death.

• Word count: 7580.

• A/N: Please don’t kill me. Y’ALL BETTER EAT THIS FIC UP BECAUSE I PUT MY BLOOD AND SWEAT AND TEARS (always pretty please). I hope you’ll like this piece I know I was heartbroken writing it. Drop a like, a comment and reblog if you want, it’d be amazing and so helpful. I apologize for any mistake or grammar error. Thank you so much as always for your support, looking forward for your opinion. ❤️

“Baby!”.

“Y/n!”.

“You hear me? Please answer me”.

“Please hold on, everything will be okay I promise. Please… Don't leave me.”

What was going on?

Why did you feel so weak?

Where was Spencer?

Your breathing was heavy, cold shivers ran through your body but despite this you couldn't move a single muscle even if you could feel your body waving to an unknown motion, like you were floating.

Am I moving?

You felt your eyelids fighting not to stay closed even if you tried with every fiber of your body to fight against that tiredness that wanted so badly to suck you into the darkness.

You were so afraid.

You managed to slightly open your eyes, only for a fraction of a second, and all you saw was a blinding white light that forced you to close your eyes right after. It was so strong you couldn't open them again.

What it was?

Was it heaven?

Were you dead?

“Please baby hold on, if you hear me please fight, I know you’re so strong. I’m begging you… Stay with me…”

Spencer?

Yes, there was no doubt that it was him even if his voice carried in the distance, each word fading further and further. You wanted so badly to answer him, to shout you were okay, that you could hear him, that you were there with him.

But were you really okay?

No, I’m not.

And the more you fought against the darkness, the more it sucked you into its heavy vortex.

You fought, you really tried, but you didn't have the strength. You were too weak, too tired.

You just wanted to rest for a bit.

God please let me okay.

You eventually gave up, stopped fighting and let yourself be lulled by that darkness.

It was so peaceful.

There wasn’t any more pain. Any suffering.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad.

Five hours earlier

“I really don't feel like going to work this morning,” your husband kept complaining. You were both still in your bedroom, you were sitting while Spencer was lying next to you, his arm around your hips and his head on your lap.

“Hotch will kill you if you take a day off without warning,” you giggled, running your fingers through his fluffy hair. “I also wish you could stay here love, I feel so lonely here without you. But unfortunately you can’t.”

Spencer huffed, holding you even tighter. “I know I'm so sorry baby, I hate leaving you alone. I'm always so worried.”

“Oh yeah I know, the three thousand texts you send me always asking me if I'm okay prove it.” You teased him and even though you couldn't see him you knew full well he rolled his eyes.

“Ah, ah, keep making fun of me,” he retorted. “Is it really weird I want to keep you safe?”.

“No baby, I was joking. You know very well I love you're so protective of me and besides, I’m okay, you don’t have to worry about me.”

He kept caressing your side, leaving a kiss on it at the level of your scar, a gesture that made your heart melt. He looked up at you and smiled before propping himself up on his elbows, resting his free hand on your face and pressing his lips on yours. A flock of butterflies exploded in your stomach.

It didn't matter how long you two were together, you felt the same butterflies, the same feeling as in the early days, he still managed to make your heart skip a beat with just a kiss.

God I love this man so much.

“What will I do without you?” Spencer pouted, already missing you before he even got out of bed and got dressed. “I just hope we won’t have any case.”

Spencer had left for work, but not before recommending you to call and text him if you needed anything. You reassured him, telling him not to worry, that everything would be fine and of course you wouldn't hesitate to call him.

You settled on the couch and spent the morning watching episodes of your favorite TV show which, although you loved it, was getting tiresome.

Three weeks earlier you had been injured on duty while chasing a serial killer who had shot you as he tried to escape.

You were fine but Spencer, being his overprotective self, refused to let you do anything that involved physical effort and prevented you in any way from returning back to work before the five weeks of rest recommended by the doctor. And it didn't help that Hotch agreed with him.

Spencer did nothing but text you all morning when he could, asking how you were as if you were in a hospital bed. You reassured him, sending him selfies of you lying on the couch, asking him how things were going at the unit.

You loved Spencer so much, you loved the way he always protected you, the way he was so thoughtful of you, the way he always put you first in any moment and situation.

The morning was rather boring so you decided to keep yourself busy with cooking something for lunch, that you wanted to bring to Spencer too since you missed him and didn't want to wait until the evening to see him again. But you also wanted to see the rest of the team again. You hated to say it, but you missed those assholes.

As you packed your and Spencer's lunch, your phone vibrated on the table.

From: Spence 💍, 12.47 AM Is it weird I miss you so terribly? I'll never get used to not seeing you here.

You smiled like an idiot, knowing how much Spencer wasn't a fan of technology but despite this being committed to use it since you couldn't live without it.

To: Spence 💍, 12:50 AM Have I ever told you I’m so madly in love with you Doctor Reid? I miss you so much more xx

You placed your phone on the table and continued putting away your lunch. When you finished, you grabbed some clean cutlery and paper napkins and then looked at your phone, noticing he didn’t answer your text yet.

You left the house after making sure you locked the door, you went to your car, pulling your phone out of your purse to send an audio message to Spencer.

“Baby don’t eat anything because I'm coming with your favorite food. It's a little burnt I have to admit, but in my defense I was distracted watching TV,” you let out a small laugh. “If you know what's best for you, you'll better say it's delicious or you'll sleep on the couch tonight. I love you so much, see you soon!”.

You got into your car and placed the two lunch boxes on the passenger seat. While driving, you were careful not to brake suddenly to avoid all the food spilling into your car.

You stopped at a red light and you took you phone to see if Spencer had texted you back but he didn’t.

The light turned green after almost thirty seconds and you placed your phone in your purse again before starting to drive again. You were at an intersection and you just drove few meters before your saw out of the corner of your eye a car speeding towards you.

You turned your head towards it and tried to brake but you weren't very fast.

Everything happened quickly.

A sudden, deafening thud made your ears ring and time seemed to stop for an instant.

You didn't have time to react, to even let out a scream or do anything else before that car hit you full force on the side.

If someone had asked you to describe what had happened in that moment, you wouldn’t have been able to do it because you didn’t even know what had happened in the first place, having lost consciousness before you could realize you had just been involved in a car crash.

Spencer was unaware in the meantime his whole life was about to undergo something he’d never, ever want to face, something he continually lived in fear of happening.

He and the rest of the team were in the meeting room, investigating on a case of a serial killer that the police in a nearby town had asked for help with. It was a simple case, so it wasn't even necessary for the whole team to go there.

“Reid focus.” Hotch had warned him several times when during the morning he caught him on his cell phone, the small smile shadowed his lips making it obvious who he was talking to. So he had put his cell phone in his pocket although his mind always went towards you.

He wondered what you were doing although knowing you, you were probably watching some TV show and the thought of you lying on the sofa, curled up under the blanket made him smile, earning you a small pat on the back of the head from Morgan.

“Focus pretty boy, I know you miss your beautiful wife but we have a case to solve.”

This had started a series of jokes and teasing towards Reid who in response would gave everyone the middle finger.

The truth was that he missed you deeply, he missed looking up and seeing you sitting at your desk filling out some case report with your pen between your lips and the wedding ring shining on your finger, he missed flirting with you in a not-so-subtle way and being made fun of by the whole team, even Hotch. He missed traveling from city to city and working with you to catch ruthless killers, he missed seeing you sitting in your chair around the meeting room table.

He couldn't wait for those two more weeks to pass, although the worry you still hadn't fully recovered didn't leave his mind.

His phone suddenly started ringing and he muttered an 'excuse me' before taking it out of his pocket and reading your name on the screen.

He moved away from the others so he could answer the call.

“Hi baby! What...-” He started but stopped immediately after when a voice that didn't belong to you interrupted him, making the smile he had on his lips instantly disappear.

“Do you happen to know Y/n Y/Ln? We found this number among the emergency contacts.”

Spencer frowned, his heart already eating wildly and anxiety twisting his guts. “Y-yes. She’s my wife… What's going on? Who am I talking to? Where’s she? Is she okay?”.

“I'm sorry to inform you that your wife was involved in a car accident, she’s in serious conditions…”

Spencer froze in place, the man's words echoing in his head while he couldn't process them.

What the fuck?

“C-can you repeat that?” He stammered, hoping it was just a misunderstanding, that the man had gotten the wrong person. “There must be a mistake m-my wife… She’s… She’s at home…”

“I’m very sorry sir…”

Spencer Reid, who had always been a quiet, calm and collected person, completely lost his mind.

After getting the address of the car crash site he ran at lightning speed out of the unit, ignoring the voices of Derek and the rest of the team who called him worriedly.

His mind wasn't focused on anyone else but you and as he sped through the streets he couldn't help but think about what the hell had happened.

You were supposed to be home, on the couch watching TV. Why did you went out? Why didn't you text him?

His stomach clenched with anxiety, an emotion he wasn't familiar with but since he'd met you he often seemed to feel because of the constant and devastating fear something bad might happen to you.

He wasn't good with feelings, everyone knew it, but thanks to you he had learned to give voice to what he felt, he had learned to embrace those sensations and emotions he struggled to show from an early age and that for so long he wanted to suppress.

A lump kept pressing on his throat, almost suffocating him. He continued to murmur and hope you were okay but when he arrived at the scene his heart almost stopped again.

The car crash scene was a disaster.

Various passers-by had gathered in shock from a distance to watch curiously as the fire fighters and paramedics worked on those piles of scrap metal that were the cars.

They were completely destroyed and no one believed the two drivers had made it given the catastrophic impact.

Various emotions had passed through Reid, emotions that he could group into one word: dying. That’s how he felt, dying.

He pushed through the crowd of people, pushing them aside and ignoring those who complained in response. After identifying himself with the cops he ran towards the wreckage where the rescuers and firefighters had just pulled you out of the destroyed car.

“Let me go! That's my wife right there!” He continued to exclaim loudly while two cops struggled to restrain him. His gaze was fixed on you, on your unconscious body while the rescuers carried you on the stretcher.

“Sir you need to let the paramedics do their job! I know it's a horrible situation but this will only hinder them!”.

Spencer was a guy who didn't like conflicts but at that precise moment he was willing to kill those cops with his bare hands.

He snorted loudly, pulling out his badge. “I'm an FBI agent and if you don't let me go to my wife right now I will make your life a living hell and have your badges on my desk before tomorrow.”

It only happened very few times he’d threatened someone, and most of them were to extort information or to make a killer to confess, but the way his wild and desperate eyes were glaring at the two cops, made them understand he wasn't bluffing at all.

They eventually let him pass and he ran towards you.

You lay unconscious on the stretcher, your body covered in your own blood. You had an oxygen mask on your face, a collar around your neck to stabilize it and Spencer had to rely on all the strength he had in his body not to collapse there in front of everyone.

He couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe it was true.

He grabbed your hand with his, the diamond of your ring pressing against his palm. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, not wanting to let his emotions overwhelm him. He couldn't be weak, not now, not when you needed him.

“Baby!”.

He called your name, desperation clear in his voice. His eyes scanned your face, always beautiful as the sun even if dotted with scratches and bruises.

“Y/n!”.

He called your name again, with even more urgency and desperation, hoping that hearing his voice would wake you up.

“You hear me? Please answer me.”

“Sir we have to go to the hospital immediately. We have no time to waste.” The paramedic's voice brought him back to reality and Spencer nodded, never taking his eyes off you.

“Please hold on, everything will be okay I promise. Please… Don’t leave me,” he whispered to you before turning to the paramedics. “I’m coming with you.”

The journey to the hospital was the longest and most painful ride Reid had ever made in his entire life.

He never let go of your hand, occasionally kissing your knuckles as he carefully watched every little movement the paramedics made.

At a certain point his heart rekindled with hope when he saw your eyelids move and open slightly.

“Y/n baby! Can you hear me? Y/n!” He exclaimed but his hope faded when he saw your eyelids close a second later and you lose consciousness again.

“Please baby hold on, if you hear me please fight,” His eyes filled with tears but he tried to fight them back, this wasn’t the time to cry. “I know you’re so strong, I’m begging you… Stay with me… I'm here, I'm here, and I’m not leaving you. Everything will be fine, you’ll be okay.”

You had a cardiac arrest on the way to the hospital but they managed to revive you and needless to say, this freaked out Spencer even more than he already was.

You died in front of him.

For a few moments your heart had stopped beating and the terror Spencer felt was a sensation he had never felt before. Maybe only when something happened to you during the job. He had always told you that you’d give him a heart attack sooner or later.

When the ambulance arrived at the hospital, Spencer barely had time to say anything before the doctors rushed you to the OR, leaving him helpless.

He passed his hands on his face, then fingers in his hair as he tried to figure out what the fuck was going on.

He had heard the police say the driver that hit you had lost control of his car after feeling dizzy, failing to stop at the red light and hitting you while you had just started driving again after the green light.

You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It had all been a stupid twist of fate and now you had to fight to live.

Spencer didn't believe in fate, he didn't believe there was some superior being or entity, he believed in science, in empirical data, in theories proven by hypotheses and theses, but then why did this happen? Why was the love of his life fighting between life and death?

Why did it seem like someone or something wanted to snatch his happiness away when he was finally happy?

He walked back and forth across the floor of the waiting room for what seemed an infinite amount of time, almost digging a ditch in the wake of his footsteps.

He had called Hotch, told him about the car crash and that you were in surgery and he reassured him the whole team would be there in no time.

It wasn't until after you ended the call with Hotch that Spencer saw your last messages, including the audio text you'd sent him.

His fingers were shaking and he sat down, fearing his knees would give out sooner or later.

His eyes filled with tears again as they read the message and the chasm inside his heart opened even more. But it was when he listened to your audio message the air was completely sucked out of his lungs and it became difficult to continue breathing.

“Baby don’t eat anything because I'm coming with your favorite food. It's a little burnt I have to admit, but in my defense I was distracted watching TV,” He heard you giggle while in the background he heard the car door open and close shortly after, a sign that you had just gotten into the car. “If you know what's best for you, you'll better say it's delicious or you'll sleep on the couch tonight. I love you so much, see you soon!”.

Your audio cut out and Spencer only realized he was crying when tears fell from his eyes onto his phone screen.

He was completely devastated.

It was his fault.

You went out because you were going to bring him food.

He couldn't process what was happening, he couldn't conceive it.

How did you go from hugging in bed that morning to you in the OR? For what kind of fucked up reason did this happen to you? Among the many people who could’ve been at that damned intersection, why did it have to be you?

Spencer knew it wasn't right to hope it happened to someone else but he didn’t care, fuck, he wished it’d happened to himself.

For the first time in his whole life Spencer prayed.

He prayed with every fiber of his being to whoever was up there to make you survive, he prayed to be able to see you again, hug you, kiss you again. He prayed to hear your laugh again, your awful jokes, to see your smile and your eyes shining when you saw him, he prayed to be able to sleep with you again, to wake up in the morning and smell the scent of your skin and hair, of feeling your fingers run through his messy hair while you were watching a movie and he had his head resting on your lap.

He prayed to still have time with you. He prayed to start a family with you even though the thought of it terrified him because he had no idea how to be a parent, but at the same time knowing there was no other person he’d want to do it if not you. He begged to tease you when the first wrinkles would appear on your beautiful face but to console you at the same time saying you were still the most beautiful and breathtaking woman he had ever met in his life.

He prayed to see your hair turn white, to see your children have kids of their own, he prayed to hold your hand until the end of your days.

He couldn't imagine a place on the planet where you didn't exist, where you weren't with him.

You two just got married, you had just started your life together, it couldn't all just vanish like that, in the blink of an eye, it just couldn't end.

You were strong. This was one of the many qualities Spencer admired about you, you were much stronger than you wanted to show and if there was anyone who could overcome that obstacle it was you.

The rest of the BAU had arrived after about fifteen minutes, both with worried and heartbroken expressions on their faces except Penelope, who was crying almost as many tears as she had.

“Reid!”.

JJ's voice made Spencer snap his head up from his phone, not realizing he had been mesmerized by looking at the picture he had as his background. It was a photo of you he took during a picnic during one of your first dates after you got together, Spencer had told a horrible joke and you had burst out laughing.

Spencer was so hypnotized by you, by the sound of your laugh, by your smile, by the small wrinkles at the corners of your eyes that he couldn't resist taking a photo and since then it had become his wallpaper and one of his favorite photos of you ever.

Everyone could notice the swelling of Spencer's eyes, evidence of the crying.

“Come here pretty boy.”

Morgan was the first to approach Spencer, pulling him in a brotherly hug, squeezing him with all the strength he had in his body, as if wanting to convey to him some of that strength he knew he tremendously needed.

“She's gonna make it okay? We know Y/n, that woman is a force of nature. She’ll make it.” He whispered in his ear, trying to hold back his emotions.

Everyone tried to appear as strong as possible but the truth was they too felt a boulder pressing on their stomach. Before being Spencer's wife, his partner, you were a colleague, a friend to all of them.

Nobody said anything else.

There were no need for words, everyone knew it’d be of no use.

They all tried to comfort each other, Emily was holding Garcia's hand the entire time, JJ and Morgan were sitting next to Spencer while Hotch and Rossi were standing not far from the others, all silently praying for you wellbeing.

Reid's body was sitting in the waiting room, surrounded by his friends and colleagues, yet his mind was completely elsewhere. His thoughts ran and ran, without stopping, so fast he didn't know which ones to listen to first.

Spencer and the team spent hours sitting in the waiting room, waiting for some doctor to come and update them on your health. He hoped the longer they took it meant there was a better chance of you getting through the surgery.

When he saw a doctor approaching where they were sitting, it was as if a vision manifested in front of him. His heart was beating wildly, so loudly he thought everyone around him could hear it while anxiety twisted his stomach so much he feared he’d throw up on the doctor's feet.

“Are you Y/n Y/Ln's family?” the doctor asked.

“I'm her husband. How is she? Please tell me she's okay. When can I see her?” Spencer blathered once he jumped up and approached doctor - he read the card - Miller.

He looked skeptically at the rest of the team, and then Spencer spoke. “It’s okay, we’re all colleagues, a family. How is Y/n? She made it right?”.

Spencer observed the micro-expressions on Dr. Miller's face. He noticed how his eyebrows furrowed slightly, how his chest rose slightly and fell, how his lips pressed together, how his neck stiffened and his posture tensed.

He knew that expression, unfortunately he knew it too well because of the job he did. It was the same expression with which he looked at the victims’ families when he was about to give them the worst and most devastating news of their lives.

Spencer saw that but decided to ignore it, he decided not to listen to his guts.

“The patient suffered much more serious damage than we imagined…”

“And what are you doing here? Go help her!” Spencer exclaimed, abruptly interrupting the doctor.

“Due to the violent trauma and along with broken bones, the ruptured spleen, the liver damage as well as the amount of blood she lost, she had also suffered a dissection of the ascending aorta.”

Spencer's heart stopped.

“W-what? What does that mean doctor?” It was Penelope who asked.

“It’s the tearing of the aorta’s wall, the largest vessel in our body. It has weakened due to the trauma and it’s no longer able to pump blood towards the other blood vessels and consequently the entire body can’t receive enough blood. Trying to repair it’s practically impossible, as her heart has already stopped once, she’s too weak to face a surgery, and the dissection further aggravates the situation. She would die on the OR table before we can even get to the aorta,” Dr. Miller explained, trying to be as clear as possible.

“Dissection of the ascending aorta is unfortunately one of the most serious vascular conditions and… There is no easy way to say it, we have done everything we can but she does't have much time left. It's a matter of hours…”

A deafening silence fell in the waiting room.

Almost everyone put their hands to their mouths to try to cover the gasps and sobs, Hotch stared at his shoes while shaking his head in disbelief. No one could believe what they had just heard.

Spencer couldn't hear a word Dr. Miller said. His brain refused to process them, because it couldn't be true, there must have been some misunderstanding.

Maybe he had confused patient, maybe he had talked to the wrong family.

“No, no, no!” Spencer exclaimed loudly. Morgan put a hand on his shoulder but he shook it violently. “Don’t touch me!” Then he went on to point a finger at Dr. Miller.

“Say it again.”

“Sir…”

“Reid…” Rossi whispered.

“Say it again!” He shouted, his voice shaking. “Say it! Because there is no way on earth I just heard my wife is fucking dying! Say it again!”.

Spencer's voice cracked at the end and he burst into tears, bending to the ground as he felt his legs gave out.

Dr. Miller looked at Spencer with sadness while he was in the throes of disbelief and despair. Nobody dared to say anything, they too had to process that mourning, but they all knew that Spencer needed time more than anyone.

How do you react calmly when someone tells you that your partner, the love of your life, is about to die?

And it wasn't just any person, someone he just met, but you. You were dying.

Doctor Miller knelt in front of Spencer, placing a hand on his shoulder as he continued to cry all the tears he had in his body. “I'm so sorry, if there had been anything, anything we could’ve done to save her we would’ve done please trust me. I can't even imagine what you're going through right now but she's in the ICU now and she's awake, we gave her morphine so she doesn't feel any pain. Go and say goodbye to her, okay?”.

The world was collapsing on him, everything was disintegrating around him and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

How the fuck did this happen? How the fuck was that possible?

He couldn't believe it, he couldn't process what was happening.

It shouldn't have happened, not to you, you didn't deserve it.

He was terrified, more than he had ever been in his entire life, not even when he had been kidnapped and tortured by a ruthless killer.

Images after images of moments with you continued to flood his mind while a sense of anguish gripped his stomach, so strong he couldn't stop crying.

He cried.

Everyone cried with him in that waiting room, hugging each other.

All his dreams had been shattered, they had all vanished in the blink of an eye, flown away like a grain of sand in the sea.

Where did his ‘forever’ go?

His forever was in the ICU and was about to die. The only person he had ever loved, the only person who had ever understood him without trying to fix him, the only person who had ever made him happy, who had made him understand the meaning of the word love, who had made him believe that even if he came from a dysfunctional family that didn't mean the same fate would happen to him, the only person for whom he lived, breathed, for whom he committed himself every single day to fight his demons and ghosts was about to walk away forever.

How do you survive something like that?

What would he have done without you?

Spencer couldn't live without you.

He couldn't even imagine waking up in the morning and not finding you. He couldn't imagine coming home at night and knowing you’d be dead. He couldn’t imagine going in the kitchen and not smelling your food. He couldn’t imagine watch a romantic movie and not seeing you cry your eyes out.

No, no, no, fuck, that couldn't be true.

One by one they all came to you to say goodbye but no one spoke to each other. Spencer didn’t have the strength to walk into that room, he hoped till the last minute it was just a nightmare and he’d soon wake up.

There was only desperation and so many, many tears. Even Hotchner, always so serious and impeccable, couldn't stop the tears when he left your room, moving away from the others so as not to be seen.

The last one was him.

When it was Spencer's turn he was terrified.

His fingers trembled as they were about to open the door. He didn't have the courage to enter that room, look you in the eyes, say goodbye to his love.

With what strength would he have hugged you knowing it would be the last time? How would he be able to say goodbye? How would he be able to tell you he loved you knowing it was the last time? How could he let you go?

Every step he took was heavy, leaving a piece of his tormented soul behind each one.

Seeing you was like a punch in the stomach, like every time his eyes rested on you but that time what he felt wasn't happiness but only sadness, desperation, anguish and helplessness.

Oh my everlasting love. You didn't deserve all of this.

You lay in bed, a nasal cannula supplying you with oxygen, electrodes connecting your body to monitors that marked a low blood pressure and a below-normal heart rate.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to rely on what little strength he had to not collapse to the floor and burst into desperate tears again. But the shine of his eyes, their swelling and redness showed how intensely he had cried in the last few hours.

You looked at him and he felt breathless.

How will I live without those eyes?

“Hi baby.”

His voice trembled, smiling slightly as he moved closer to you. He couldn't conceive the idea that the last time he had seen you was that same morning and you were fine, while at that moment you were on a hospital bed dying.

He pulled up a chair and sat next to you. He took one of your hands in his, intertwining your fingers and leaving a kiss on the back of it. All it took was for your skin to come in contact with his for him to burst into inconsolable and suffocating tears again.

He wrapped his arms around your hips, his head resting on your abdomen as you stroked his hair. It was a projection from that same morning but the difference was that this time would be the last.

He would no longer hug you, he would no longer be lulled by the warmth of your arms, feel your fingers run through his messy and tangled hair.

Silence reigned in the room, interrupted only by Spencer's sobs as he continued to cry desperately. He held you like he had never done before, as if in that way he hoped you would stay.

“It's okay…” you barely whispered, weakened and groggy from the morphine.

You felt… Apathetic.

You couldn't describe the emotions you felt at that moment, ever since the doctor told you didn’t have much time you felt anesthetized.

It was as if you were seeing everything from an external perspective, as if it wasn't really you lying on the bed, as if it wasn't you who was going to die in a few hours.

Not a tear had rolled down yours, not even when the rest of your team had come to say their final goodbyes.

You didn't want to feel like this, you didn't want to be apathetic, so numb. You wanted to feel anger, pain, helplessness, anguish, anxiety, anything, you wanted to cry, scream, but the more you tried, the more you couldn't.

“Don’t leave me please…” Spencer's sobs interrupted him. He continued to cling to you, to hold onto you as if his life depended on it.

“Baby, look at me.” Your voice was hoarse, thick with sleep and tiredness.

“No, no, no, I know what you want to tell me… No…” He held you even tighter than before. “You can't leave me…”

He turned his head towards you, his vision completely blurred with tears, his face wet. He brought his hands to your face, caressed your cheeks, your hair and tried as much as possible to imprint every detail of your skin in his memory.

“You're so beautiful baby,” he whispered, “It's not fair…”

“I know,” you whispered back weakly, “I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. But it's so unpredictable, isn't it?”.

“No, life sucks.”

You placed a hand on his still on your face, closing your eyes for a moment and enjoying the feeling of warmth that only he could give you.

“I know everything seems bad right now, I know you'll think this long after I'm gone but it's not like that love, life doesn't suck. It’s the most beautiful gift we could ever have...” you murmured with no small effort, your breathing heavy and difficult.

He shook his head. “Bullshit. You are my life, baby...” He cried. “I can't live without you. I can't... I can't go home and not find you there, I can't sleep without you next to me, I can't go to work and look up and not find you sitting there at your desk… I can’t…”

“Of course you can you’re the strongest person I know baby, even if you don't recognize it. You’ll be happy again...” You placed a hand on his cheek, drying with your fingers his tears that never stopped coming out. “Promise me one thing.”

“No, no, no, I can't, don't do this to me please… Don't make me promise something I can't keep baby…”

“Spencer, please. I can't leave knowing you won't be happy, please, I need to know you’ll at least try... Promise me...”

A solitary tear rolled down your face, even though you didn't even realize it at the time.

He shook his head, looking down as he continued to cry. He sat down on the bed next to you, pulling you into a hug you tried to return with the little strength you had left.

He left a long kiss on your head, inhaling deeply that beautiful scent he’d never be able to smell again in his life. He rested his cheek on you, letting your hair tickle his skin.

“I can't… I can't…” he repeated, feeling the air disappear more and more from his lungs. “You’re the first person who made me understand what it means to be happy baby… I don’t how to do it without you… D-don't… You can't ask me… I’m begging you…”

You slightly pulled away from him, cupping your hands on his face and smiling slightly through the tears you hadn't even realized you were shedding.

You were crying.

“I wouldn't ask you if I knew you couldn't Spence. I know it’ll be hard but life is beautiful baby, so damn beautiful and deserves to be lived to the full. Plus, I'm not really leaving okay? My body may no longer be here but my soul will always be with you, I’ll always be here when you need me, I will never leave you.” You spoke softly, your breathing heavy with each word. You placed a hand at his heart level which was beating wildly at that moment.

He shook his head again, still crying as desperation enveloped him more and more. “But I-I want you here…”

“Shh, listen to me love, please…” You stopped due to a cough. Spencer rushed to get you a glass of water from the bedside table, helping you drink and stroking your back in the meantime. “Thanks baby.”

Despite the morphine you still felt a weight on your chest, your lungs couldn't expand and everything hurt.

But it wasn't physical pain.

It was your soul that was hurting.

“Listen to me…” You started speaking feebly again, looking Spencer in his eyes, losing yourself in those two beautiful wells. “I need to know you’ll move on baby, that you’ll find someone you’ll love again and who will love you so deeply like I did, with whom you’ll build a beautiful family, with whom you’ll have children, a beautiful house and a dog if you want. This doesn’t mean you’ll forget about me, I’ll always be by your side at every step you take, I promise you, I’ll watch over you and if you need anything you just have to talk to me... Maybe not in front of other people or they’ll think you’re crazy.”

He chuckled through his tears and your heart skipped a beat. “That’s it. That’s the beautiful smile I always want to see, God you make me so happy.”

“There will be no one after you baby.”

“Spence please…-”

“No, no, you can't ask me that,” he murmured, his tone of voice so melancholy and sorrowful it made your gut wrench. “When I married you I never thought for a second there could be an ‘after you’, never, even though I knew the risks we both ran because of our jobs. There will never be anyone after you Y/n, there will never be anyone who can ever make me happy like you do, there will never be anyone I will ever love as much as I love you. It… It wouldn't be right...” He let out a deep sigh “It wouldn't be right for her, for... For the children because I wouldn't love them as much as I love you, because I would look at them and only think I could’ve had all that with you and I don't want that…”

He stroked your hair, looking at you with so much love it made your heart melt.

You didn’t want your time to end. You wanted to be with him, forever.

“Spencer… I-I'm terrified…” You managed to murmur before bursting into desperate, heartbreaking tears. Spencer hugged you while you sobbed into his sweater.

“I know… I know…”

Terrified didn't even come close to describing how you felt at that moment.

I'm dying.

Soon I won't be here anymore.

You couldn't conceive it, realize it, you couldn't accept it. But then again, how could you? Who would ever accept a death sentence?

You weren't ready.

You didn't want to leave Spencer, God, you had so many dreams to achieve together and it wasn't fucking right, it wasn't.

You just wanted to bring lunch and eat with your beloved husband, spend some time with him, why did this have to happen to you? What did you do wrong? You hadn't died from a bullet three weeks earlier but you were about to die for wanting to see your husband.

Why didn't you just stay home? If you had done it you would’ve been fine, you would’ve just had to wait for Spencer to come home that evening so you could hug him again. If you had done it you would’ve slept in the same bed, together that night, perhaps after making love, the next morning you would’ve woken up with his scent and his warmth, you would’ve had breakfast together.

You both cried until you couldn't breathe, holding on to each other as if you were both each other's lifelines.

You felt weak, every moment that passed breathing was like a punch in the stomach even though the oxygen flow had been turned up to maximum.

Hours passed and every minute that passed the fear paralyzed you more and more.

Spencer stayed next to you the entire time, hugging you and tightly holding your hand. You’d think he had shed all the tears he had in his body but instead he had never stopped, he continued to cling to you, to hold you in the hope that a miracle would happen.

He didn't believe in miracles, he thought there was a reason for everything, but in that moment he prayed for one to happen with every fiber of his being.

Your eyelids felt heavy and you struggled to keep your eyes open.

You were tired, so fucking tired, just wanting to rest for a bit but knowing if you definitely close your eyes you wouldn’t be able to open them again.

“Do you think heaven exists?” You whispered in a small, thin voice. Spencer kissed your forehead, continuing to stroke your hair as his salty tears kept running down his cheeks.

“Of course it exists, all the angels are just waiting for you. I'm pretty sure you’ll be the most beautiful angel of all, dressed in white and with the light surrounding you.”

You giggled, only to be interrupted by yet another cough. You were so grateful to have Spencer, that even though he didn't believe in an afterlife, in heaven, in angels, still tried to make you feel better.

“I'm so tired baby…” you murmured, closing your eyes for a few seconds before opening them again.

He held you tighter, feeling more tears streak down his face. “I know my love, but you can rest, I’ll always be here I promise, I’ll never leave you.”

“Spencer, you are the greatest and most beautiful love I have ever had in life, you made me the happiest I've ever been and I want to thank you for everything, for everything you have done for me, for teaching me the truth meaning of love…” You took a deep breath. “I will love you forever, I hope you know that, in this world and wherever else I’ll go. I know we’ll meet again, even if not in this life, we’ll meet in next one.”

He shook his head in despair as he continued to sob and cry. He wasn't ready to say goodbye, he wasn't ready to let you go, but who he was kidding, he never would be.

“I love you so much my darling, I will always love you until my last breath.”

He kissed your forehead softly again, pressing his lips to your skin longer than expected as he tried to make the most of those last moments with you.

“You’re the best and most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. I love you, always and forever,” he kept whispered, hugging you. But you couldn't hug him back.

You had closed your eyes and fallen asleep, in the arms of the person you loved most in the world where you always wished your last moments would be.

The room was filled with sounds from the monitor connected to your heart, which had started to slow down.

Your heartbeat had slowed.

More and more.

Until it stopped and all that was left was a flat line.

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sciencebecameouraddiction · 1 month

Text

it all fell down

part one: the mighty have fallen

ratings: M (talk of war, rebellion, death and destruction, bleeding, wounds, lots of curse words, etc etc.)

summary: after adam died in the first extermination, lute calls for more frequent exterminations, rallying heaven’s population into believing that hell is a threatening force. once she succeeds, the legion of angels can come down to hell every 6 months, the only difference, charlie and lucifer aren’t safe any more. with their backs against the wall, rebellion is the only option but what happens when heaven pulls their final ace in their sleeve?

part two

the fighting was like a vortex, pulling one in and spitting one out. thankfully, no one had been hurt that was a patron of the hotel. that didn’t mean that the chance wasn’t still there as husk yelled, “they just keep coming!”

i realized as a spear caught my side, an angel sneered at me as then a blast threw me back, we got here by our own doing but we were here due to two mistakes. mistakes that we couldn’t have corrected even if we wanted to, because even though we were in hell, we were incredibly naive.

___________________

after the first fight with heaven, many things had transpired. with adam dead, lute became general and her thirst for vengeance transcended even the most deranged hell born. she pushed and pushed for quarterly exterminations. sera disagreed and pushed back. in one of the meetings they had, lute had pushed too far, causing emily to speak out against everything that had happened. we only knew what happened when golden light ripped through the sky a few months prior. lucifer froze seeing it and rushed out of the hotel, the only thing we could understand was when he yelled, “someone fell!”

maybe that was when all of our problems started. when everything turned to shit, was emily falling.

after emily fell and recovered we were told about heaven’s plans. what they were trying to do. the most recent meeting that caused emily to fall, lute had brought up the quarterly exterminations, but now she wanted more. she said that the legion of exterminators should have the ability to kill charlie and lucifer morningstar and anyone who comes between the legion and their targets. as they were a threat to the very foundation that heaven stands on.

the silence that fell onto the hotel was deafening as i gripped the couch i was holding onto, my gaze automatically falling to lucifer, eyes wide as he looked disgusted. he shook his head as charlie looked up at him, worried, as vaggie clutched charlie’s hand. his jaw clenched as he excused himself from the group, stating he had business to take care of. my heart was seized in my throat at that moment as he motioned for me to follow him and i squeezed charlie’s shoulder. trying to provide some comfort.

when we reached his room, he sat on the bed, his head in his hands as he broke down sobbing. “i knew this would happen, but i thought they’d point their hatred at me. not charlie. oh, not charlie.” he sobbed, his words coming out broken and disjointed as i quickly kneeled in front of him, pulling him into me and clutching him to me. he was worried for charlie, and i was too, but i was worried for him too. i couldn’t loose either of them.

the months that followed were many meetings with sera and heaven, fighting against what lute was demanding. lute, though, we underestimated. our first mistake.

she had gathered a lot of heavenly support, calling for the extermination of hell itself. the entirety of it, as the heavenly residents felt that even the very existence of hell was a threat to themselves. we then learned that sir pentious, who was redeemed in the last extermination was being held in heaven’s prison, partially to protect him but also because the support lute had gathered demanded that the “sinner be locked up.”

we were at our wits end, with no footing to hold onto. it was seemingly the end of the road and that solidified when sera let us know that there had been a compromise and that they would do the extermination twice a year. the new terms included that charlie and lucifer could be killed during an extermination now, but they could defend themselves. it was the lowest and most hopeless i had seen lucifer and charlie. the rest of the hotel were somberly aware of what that meant, hiding or fighting.

after much discussion, lucifer and charlie explained they were fighting. a rebellion was to start and we’d take it to heaven’s door if need be. i stood beside them, clutching lucifer’s hand, the only show of how scared i was showing in the tremor i know he felt.

“we don’t expect you to fight in this. it is most likely a suicide mission. heaven is hell bent to protect the order that has been upheld for thousands of years. charlie’s hotel and the idea itself, was proven with sir pentious, and has scared them. lute is leading this force and will have eyes set out for all of you. if you are not fighting, it would be best to hide.” i explained, speaking up. the crew looked at eachother, many like they were going to cry but shockingly alastor stepped forward.

“while we have believed charlie’s idea to be a fools dream, i was at least proven… wrong. i will be here to help defend the hotel.” alastor said, with the others stepping up. lucifer looked at me shocked as he nodded at alastor in appreciation. this was our second mistake.

__________________

the ringing in my ears signaled me coming back to, not realizing i had passed out on the battle field. i looked up and saw angel swimming in my vision.

“doll, get up. we gotta go.” he said shaking me and trying to drag me up.

“fuck, angel, i was stabbed. hold on.” i say clutching my side as he all but drags me through the battle field.

“no time. we gotta go.” he says, for the first time fear is on his face.

“angel, what happened?” i ask, trying to walk to help him.

“lilith. she’s here. she’s here and alastor let her down here. she owns his soul. he’s her little fuckin’ pet. and she’s on heaven’s side. charlie and lucifer are fighting her now but lucifer told me to get you somewhere safe.” angel says. my eyes widen as i see the crew waving at angel. husk telling angel to “hurry the fuck up”.

“no! i can’t leave them.” i stop angel as he turns to me and i drop to my knees. i quickly pull out a large vial i had around your neck, i unstopper it and drink half, grimacing. i feel myself stitching back up, and i stand up. handing the vial to angel, i instruct him to share it with the others, ignoring the questions i knew he had. “it’ll help heal you.” i explain as i turn to where i could see red, black and green light combating in the sky like a sick fire show against the muted red sky.

“what are you doing?” angel said, tears falling.

“i’m going to help them, and i hope to see you on the other side.” i smile, reaching my arm out, grabbing an angelic axe in an angels body. i wave to the group as i jump in the air and let my wings materialize for the first time since i was in hell. i quickly make it over to the fighting and narrow in on the green magic. my eyes lock in on alastor as i tackle him, my axe at his throat.

“do you want to fight?” i ask simply. he shook his head no. “i’m knocking you out and tying you up over there. we’ll talk about this shit,” i motion to the green chain on his throat, “later.” i then take the dull end of the axe handle and quickly knock alastor out, angelic ropes quickly binding him. as i turn, my wings disappear as i walked up to what seemed like a tame scene. lucifer was talking to lilith as lilith looked like she was crying. lucifer held his hands up to her, almost like he was placating a cornered animal. trying to show he meant no harm.

“please mom, we don’t want to fight you.” i hear charlie say, and i see vaggie standing in front of her protectively.

“lilith, just stop this. you can live in heaven. i don’t care. heaven doesn’t care. we can make sure you have the peaceful life in heaven you wanted. the one that i robbed you of. just stop all this.” lucifer tried to reason. i saw her eyes turn green and watched as a branch like shadow came out of the ground, headed straight for lucifer.

it felt like time had slowed. it felt like i had gone through the five stages of grief i had heard of before but in a second as i screamed for lucifer to move. i ran toward him, wanting to push him out of the way. he turned toward me shocked, his back toward lilith, his eyes wide as he tried to stop me. i wasn’t quick enough as i watched as the branch impaled his chest and he stood there shocked, looking at the branch as an apple bloomed on it. he turned his head back to look at lilith, questioning why she would do this. no one heard her answer as charlie went into a fit of rage, shoving past vaggie and running over to her mother, tearing her apart limb by limb. the legion of angels seeing their leader, in essence be ripped apart sent them scrambling back up to heaven, looking like a flock of birds in the sky. i rushed to lucifer as the branch disappeared as lilith died, he collapsed to his knees, gripping onto me. charlie ran over to us, holding her dad, crying.

“please… no, dad. you can’t.” she cried, trying to stop the bleeding. “we can fix this? right?” she looks at me sobbing. “i just have to fix this.” her body shaking as vaggie kneels next to her.

“charlie, listen to me, you’ll be a great ruler of hell. okay? you’re going to do amazing things. and even though i wasn’t the best at showing it, i love you more than the stars and sky itself.” lucifer said, kissing charlie on her forehead as he collapsed into me. he rested upon me and i felt the warm liquid seeping from him be absorbed by my clothes. i felt as the fabric became so filled with his life that it dripped off my knees into the ground below. but so did my tears, silent as charlie sobbed, but running down my cheeks, soaking my shirt and his hair.

“no, please. i have to do something!” charlie cried, looking at vaggie, who looked distraught. vaggie’s expression only making charlie cry harder.

“take care of her?” he asks me, looking up at me.

“always.” i respond easily. charlie sobs harder, her head on lucifer’s chest, as his hand rests on her head.

“remember me?” is his last request.

“i could never forget you.” i try and smile at him but he smiles back at me, so genuine as if to say don’t worry. his eyes close and charlie screams out. my head falls to his as i press a kiss to his forehead. “goodbye, my love.”

part two

#hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin lucifer #lucifer/reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer fanfiction #lucifer fanfic #hazbin lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer x reader #lucifer x you #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel lucifer x you #hazbin lucifer x you #hazbin hotel lucifer/reader #hazbin lucifer/reader

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serotonins-stuff · 10 months

Text

Very nsfw| mdni (pt 2) ( part 1)

Nothing beats kitchen counter makeouts with Hawks.

After a heavy Makeout session with hawks, it was only right to take you upstairs to your shared bedroom and finish what you had started.

He loved to be squirming and whimpering ufer you with pleasure while you pleased him.

Especially today, after you just had a fierce dry humping session on your kitchen counter which should have left you both overstimulated and exhausted. Yet here you were, ready and eager for another round.

On a typical day, he would prefer to have you on all fours, your mouth gagged and your eyes blindfolded while he'd take you from behind. Today he decided he wanted a change of plans, it would be nice to have you on top this time around.

You were straddling his lap on the bed, messily unbuttoning each other's clothes with heavy breaths till there was not a single piece of fabric left.

"You're gonna make me feel good hm?" he whispered, peppering kisses along your neck, occasionally sucking on the flesh to leave a dark bruise that he would be impressed with tomorrow. His hands glided down to your belly button and your inner thighs, massaging the area tenderly. He was purposefully avoiding the spot that ached most, first taking his time to prep your body for another round.

Keigo knew which spots would get you going again. He knew exactly where to touch to have you needing more and more, wanting you desperate for release so you could dominate him. The glint in your eyes whenever you topped him was something he could never get enough of, it made him feel butterflies that went straight to his lower region.

His cock was glistening with cum, hard as it rested against his stomach, just waiting for your soft walls that would welcome it.

"I want you to have your way with me" He whispered into your ear lowly. "I want you to fuck me till I can't think"

The more he uttered those obscene words, the further your pussy pulsated with utter pleasure. Aching to be filled.

Slowly, you raised your hips right above the tip of his cock, holding it in position with your hand. In the meantime, he was sure to give your tits his full attention, licking and sucking your nipples tenderly. Occasionally biting them, and sucking hard on your plush flesh.

You sat down fully on his cock, and you gasped in unison. Your eyes rolled back from the mere pleasure of your joined pelvises. His cock twitched inside you and you spasmed around it.

He wasn't going to move because he gave you full control, he gave you the power to do anything you wanted to him while he'd sit back and take it like a good boy. You were going to have your fun and cherish this considering he didn't let you do it often.

You didn't move up and down just yet, instead you moved your hips in a circular motion, stimulating your clit in the process. Your hands continuing their abuse on his sensitive wings.

"Baby you're killin me" Keigo huffed into your breasts, hips shuddering so he could get some form of friction.

After what felt like an eternity, you finally started bouncing on him, gradually relieving him of his pent-up arousal. You were moving at a moderately fast pace, slapping down onto his hips every time you descended.

You felt so warm and welcoming, sucking him in like an immense vortex. And he occupied every bit of space in your pussy, leaving no room.

You were driving him crazy for sure. The way the sweet scent of your arousal made him feel, the way your tits jiggled while you pleasured him, and your soft hands that played with delicate feathers.

"Just like- hmp- that" he hiccupped, sweet whimpers oozing from his lips like honey, a tiny trail of drool flowing down to his chest. He was trembling beneath you with every bounce. Chanting your name as if it were his favorite song.

"Don't cum yet ok?" you instructed authoritatively, still enjoying the feeling of his girthy cock sliding against your walls. Every thrust had his tip coming into contact with your g spot, making it difficult to not just release all over him.

Your boldness sent electricity through his body, his head craning back. A gasp ripped through him and his eyes glazed over, tears of restraint threatening to fall from his eyes. He was not in the slightest bit of pain though. His lips tugged into a small smile of delight.

He nodded in a daze, mouth agape as he struggled to even form words. That's when you knew you had completed your mission of completely ruining him to the point of submission.

His body was very sensitive to touch, so you knew very well that touching him in many places at once would have him crumbling beneath you.

"I can't- ahh- hold it" he croaked, a cracked cry sounding from his throat. "It's- too -good"

"Sensitive, huh?" You smiled softly, pulling him in for a sloppy wet kiss, your breaths intertwiningand tongues dancing

"C'mon baby please" he pleaded beneath you, hands gripping your ass desperately, for his release. "Don't do this to me"

"Don't do what?" You smirked into the kiss.

"Don't-" he cut himself off with a loud moan when you ran your fingers through his hair and yanked it. Biting his lip in the process.

"Speak up baby" you cooed, placing a kiss of encouragement on his forehead.

"Don't- tease me" he shuddered.

The way he was asking you made you feel sorry for him. The way he looked up at you with those eyes, those pleading eyes. He had done everything you asked of him and he still didn't get his release. Instead he had to watch you pleasure yourself with his body, and he wasn't complaining one bit.

Though, holding his release was becoming unbearable, and you could tell.

"Since you've been a good boy" you breathed, on the brink of release. "You can cum for me baby"

His eyes closed shut and his body shook, a euphoric feeling overcoming him as he whimpered and moaned uncontrollably. His hands dug into your thighs while you followed suit with your high. Spasming onto each other as the pleasure ripped through you.

After a few minutes of catching your breath, you lay in each other's embrace still connected while soft snores poured from your lips.

"I'll run you a bath" Keigo whispered with a smile, planting a kiss on your forehead.

"You're too cute for your own good"

--------------

The end

-------------

A/n

Thank you for reading!!

Reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated!!

Requests are open.

#mha hawks #keigo x reader #pro hero hawks #hawks smut #mha takami keigo #fypage #my hero acedamia #oneshot #imagine #serotonins stuff

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fuckyeahfluiddynamics · 3 months

Text

Parting a Flame

A sheet of flame splits around a cylinder in this Gallery of Fluid Motion poster. Looking at the image sequences, you can see how the flames lift up as they flow around the cylinder, following the arms of a horseshoe vortex. (Image credit: L. Shannon et al.) Read the full article

#2023gofm #combustion #flames #flow visualization #fluid dynamics #horseshoe vortex #physics #science #wildfires

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