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bluberryfields · 9 months

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This is what happens when you're raised by TV and trained in literary analysis

Beyond the crushing heartbreak of that finale, one thing in particular has stuck with me when I look at it in the context of S2 as a whole.

He lays out their relationship, "We're a team, a group. A group of the two of us. And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't."

He then turns his head away and says, "I mean, the last few years, not really."

He pauses here, facing the interior of the bookshop. Really looks it up and down.

Turns back, "And I would like to spend" before choking on his words and looks toward the window. He can't finish saying something like "And I would like to spend eternity with you" because that's too much, too fast, for both of them.

But it's that "last few years" bit that has firmly lodged itself in my very broken brain.

According to Gaiman, it's been "a few years" since the end of Season 1. Armageddon has been averted. Heaven and Hell have reluctantly retreated. Crowley and Aziraphale have been effectively cut loose from their "sides," leaving them to form their own side.

So at the start of Season 2, we get a glimpse of the “fragile existence” they have carved out for themselves. To me, the biggest difference that we see is how they exist together in front of others. Going to the coffee shop, the pub, and the other shops along the street that Aziraphale has lived on for over 200 years. And don’t forget how they act in front of Nina, Maggie, and sweet, dim Muriel.

At the coffee shop, Aziraphale stammers a bit when Nina asks who Crowley is, but he still seems to have affection in his voice when he says, "We go back a long time."

Compared to Shakespearian "He's not my friend! We've never met before. We don't know each other!" panic, this is an incredible difference.

Of course, each time, Crowley is cool and cheeky and does nothing to indicate that they aren't a pair. Though, of course, he does deny it when Nina asks about Aziraphale being his side piece. “He’s not my bit on the side! He’s far too pure of heart to be anyone’s bit on the side.” And refers to him as an “Angel [swallows]I know.”

When they go the pub, Crowley's joy at doing something together in public that they do not normally do is super cute, including his cheeky order for Aziraphale's sherry. Then, when bringing the drinks over to the socially trapped Aziraphale, he greets Mr. Brown with a truly adorable, "Hello" and a signature DT smile. Then upon hearing how “excited” Mr. Fell is to host the meeting, he looks down and says, “Oh? You astonish me.” while Aziraphale sips his sherry and squirms.

We also watch as Crowley follows Aziraphale as he goes to each shop and talks to the owners about the meeting/secret ball. In theory, Crowley has no reason to tag along, and he certainly doesn’t help sway anyone who doesn’t want to/can’t go. He goofs around at the magic shop. He splays out on the bench, chin on hand, looking for all the world a husband waiting for his wife to pick out a dress at the department store. They are so married it’s ridiculous.

Finally, their behavior in front of Muriel while inside their sanctuary. Crowley sits on the arm of Aziraphale’s chair, somehow looking supremely comfortable on the old-fashioned furniture. He folds up those gloriously long limbs and presses himself as close as possible.

He smiles and plays along with Aziraphale’s coaching of Muriel in her disguise. Calls him Angel and asks to speak in private. And at the end, during the awful wait while Aziraphale talks with The Metatron, Crowley cleans up the shop and tells Muriel that he and Aziraphale will need some “us” time after all this. No beating around the bush.

Without oversight, they can be openly together and happy. But Heaven just can’t let that happen.

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yellowocaballero · 1 year

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Miguel is Fine, Actually (Being Spider-Man's Just Toxic As Hell)

Before I watched ATSV I said that I would defend my man Miguel O'Hara's actions no matter what, because he's always valid and I support women's wrongs. I was joking, and I did not actually expect to start defending him on Tumblr.edu. But I'm seeing a lot of commentary that's super reductive, so I do want to bring up another perspective on his character.

Miguel wasn't acting against the spirit of Spider-Man, or what being Spider-Man means. Miguel isn't meant to represent the antithesis of Spider-Man. Miles is the antithesis of Spider-Man. Miguel represents Spider-Man taken to its extreme.

Think about Miguel's actions from his perspective. If you were a hero who genuinely, legitimately, 100%, no doubt about it, believed that somebody is going to make a selfish decision that will destroy an entire universe and put the entire multiverse at severe risk - if you had an over-burdened sense of responsibility and believed in doing the right thing no matter what - you would also chase down the kid and put him in baby jail to try and prevent it. He believed that he was saving the multiverse, and that Miles was putting it in danger for selfish reasons. Which is completely unforgivable to him, because selfishness is what he hates the most. And then he goes completely out of pocket and starts beefing with a 15yo lmfaooo he's such a dick.

But why did Miguel believe that? Why did he believe that Miles choosing himself and his own happiness over the well-being of others was the worst possible thing? Why did he believe that tragedy was inevitable in their lives, and that without tragedy Spider-Man can't exist?

Because he's Spider-Man.

Peter Parker was once a fifteen year old who chose his own happiness over protecting others. It was the greatest regret of his life and he never forgave himself. Peter's ethos means that he will put himself last every time, and that he will sacrifice anything and everything in his life - his relationships, his health, his future - to protecting and helping others. Peter dropped out of college because it interfered with Spider-Man. He destroyed his own future for Spider-Man. He ruins friendships and romantic relationships because Spider-Man was more important. If Peter ever tries to protect himself and his own happiness, then he's a bad person.

That is intrinsic to Peter. Peter would not be Peter without it. A story that is not defined by Peter's unhappiness is not a Spider-Man story. If Peter doesn't make himself miserable, then he's just not Peter.

That is a Spider-Man story: that not only is tragedy inevitable, that if you don't allow yourself to be defined by your tragedy then you're a bad person. If you don't suffer, then you're a bad person. If you ever put anything above Spider-Man, then you're killing Uncle Ben all over again. Miguel isn't the only one that believes this - as we saw, every Spider-Man buys into what he's saying. There's no Spider-Man without these beliefs.

Miguel attempted to find his own happiness, and he was punished in the most extreme way. He got Uncle Ben'd x10000. He tried to be happy, and it literally destroyed his entire universe. It's the Spider-narrative taken to the extreme. Of course Miguel believes all of this. Of course he believes this so firmly. He's Spider-Man. That's his story. And the one time Miguel tried to fight against that story, he was punished. And like any Spider-Man, he'll slavishly obey that narrative no matter the evil it creates and perpetuates. Because if he doesn't, the narrative will punish him. The narrative will always punish him. It's a Spider-Man story.

I don't think the universal constant between Spider-Mans, the thing that makes them Spider-Man, is tragedy. I think it's the fact that they never forgive themselves. And Miguel is what that viewpoint creates. He doesn't believe this things because he's an awful, mean person. He believes them because he's a hero. He's a good person who hates himself.

Across the Spider-verse isn't really a Spider-Man story. It's a story about Spider-Man stories. Miguel's right: if this was a Spider-Man story, then Miles acting selfishly really would destroy the universe. But Miles' story isn't interested in punishing him. It pushes back against Peter's narrative that unhappiness is inevitable and that you have to suffer to be a good person. It says that sometimes we do the right thing from love and not fear, and that Peter's way of thinking is ultimately super toxic and unhappy. ITSV was about Miles deciding that he didn't need to be Peter Parker, that all he needed to be was Miles, and ATSV is about how being Peter Parker isn't such a good thing. Miguel shows that. Whatever toxic and unhealthy beliefs he holds - they're the exact same beliefs that any Spider-Man holds. He's a dick, but I don't think he's any more awful a person than Peter is.

TL;DR: Miguel isn't a bad person, he just has Spider-Man brainrot.

#across the spider-verse #atsv #atsv spoilers #across the spider-verse spoilers #across the spiderverse #across the spider verse #miguel o'hara #atsv meta #source: i recognized an embarassing amount of those cameos #im also seeing a lot of ppl make a lot of assumptions about what miguel was injecting and why #we dunno guys! im not gonna suppose anything #I just think that Miguel and Miles are great foils #and that what makes them interesting as foils #is the fact that they're both good people who want to do the right thing #miguel shows how that gets twisted #to the point where you beef with a 15yo sometimes which is still so funny #im a big spidey 2099 fan #which I love bc it is NOTHING like spiderman and yet it's such a good spiderman story #but talking about comics migs is useless bc he has 0 in common with atsv migs #but there is a lot of VERY cool stuff to say about how #the sm2099 comic has nothing to do with spiderman at all whatsoever extremely pointedly #but its still a wonderful spiderman story that finds its own way #tbh it was kind of a breath of fresh air to read a spider-man story that wasn't about spider-man for once #and that was just about miguel #anyway stan women's wrongs #miguel o hara #miguel ohara #my writing

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alicentsgf · 1 year

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nothing is more subtle or more heartbreaking to me than alicent in the wedding feast scene. and half these shots dont even follow her, they follow viserys shes just in the background, (which just perfectly sums up the way alicent and her desires are stifled by viserys/his wants just btw)

so shes just watched whatever it was that was happening between daemon and rhaenyra. salt in a very fresh wound. and as far as i can work out was literally tearing up over it (if we look at the screenshot above). but then people are screaming and pushing and shoving and alicent instinctively gets up before anyone else at the table even does, still looking like shes about to cry the whole time, right up until the moment she realises its not just pushing and shoving - theres a fight happening exactly where rhaenyra was just a moment before, and suddenly her expression changes to this shot of her blatantly worrying about rhaenyra:

"but lydia, how do you know shes worried about rhaenyra? she could just be in shock at seeing the fight and concerned in general."

because its spelled out for us the next time we see her:

this shows us pretty obviously alicents only really interested in where rhaenyra is. this is a tv show, they don't show someone's reaction to something just for the sake of it and alicent is the only person we see react to rhaenyra being safe. she even appears to relax at the end, as if relieved.

this very clearly sets the stage for alicent's refusal to accept any physical harm to rhaenyra - so we can understand why she feels so much guilt and self-loathing over slicing open rhaenyra's arm, and why she is so adamant about protecting rhaenyra in episode 9 even after everything she and rhaenyra have put each other through. just as rhaenyra has a desire to reconcile with alicent she cant shake, reaching out for her even in moments when shes been given no reason to hope (like at the council in episode 6 and dinner in episode 8), alicent has this desperate need to make sure rhaenyra's safe, even at times when she has no intention of reconciling with her. even when shes at her most hostile, harbouring enough resentment to show up to rhaenyras wedding wearing a declaration of war, alicent still cant stomach the thought of rhaenyra being physically harmed. and it doesn't seem to be an aspect of her characterisation thats going anywhere anytime soon.

#the subtext is subtexting !#thats a useless lesbian if i ever saw one #hotd #alicent hightower #rhaenicent #rhaenyra targaryen #hotd meta #hotd thoughts #just look at her face #fuck #i have tried to make this post 10 times. its been gathering dust in my drafts #because i literally cant express how insane alicent in this scene makes me #also i feel this explains why i have such an issue with the post-birth scene. it goes against alicents #characterisation as we've been led to understand it otherwise #for her to be largely unaffected by rhaenyras pain

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brotherskywalker · 7 months

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I'm so tired of the narrative that Luke was a whiny, useless twink before his aunt and uncle were killed. I've seen a lot of people saying, "Leia was in the senate, leading top secret Rebellion missions, etc., while Luke was whining about power converters and playing with toys."

This is such a bad, low-level take.

Leia was a literal Princess. She was raised in luxury. She was well-educated. And her parents were already an active, secret part of the Rebellion before she was born. That's why she was given to them. Yes, Leia has a fiery personality and wanted to be involved, but she was encouraged and prepared specifically for that role.

Luke was raised, if not in poverty, at least in a low-class life style on a Hutt-controlled slave world. He was raised, perhaps begrudgingly, by a non-blood related aunt and uncle who, above all else, wanted to protect him and keep him safe. They wanted to make sure he didn't follow the ways of his father. One of the ways they did this was to keep him busy with farm work. To keep his head out of the clouds.

And nevertheless Luke had a best friend who immediately joined the Rebellion once he got off world, and who Luke deeply idolized and wanted to follow.

He isn't "playing with a toy" because he is still childish; he is daydreaming about being in that Skyhopper and fighting the Empire. He wants to be out there doing stuff, but he's been raised to obey his aunt and uncle. He feels obligated to stay and help on the farm. You can see why--they are poor, they are struggling, his aunt and uncle are old. They need Luke to help, or so he believes. Luke is maybe too kind and puts the needs and desires of other people in front of his own, but he's not some useless kid. And it is very clear, from ANH as well as the Obi-Wan Kenobi TV series, that Owen especially wanted to protect and shield Luke from his heritage. (Whether or not that was right or wrong is another debate, but you can't blame Luke for it.)

Luke is desperate to be out there doing it, but he is blocked at every turn until he's forced into it.

#luke skywalker #star wars meta #not a twink #not useless

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findafight · 7 months

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I wish when Angela had made fun of Jane for choosing her dad as her hero presentation she or will had said "no, it made at least state news. The mall fire. Where thirty people died and so did he saving people." Because

1) that's what happened! Why wouldn't she?

2) the absolute mortification Angela should have felt in realizing she had just publicly stuck her foot in her mouth because she's fourteen and thinks she knows everything, missing a mass casualty event that likely would have made national news, would have been satisfying AND would have added the motivation for throwing the milkshake on El at the roller rink. Idk it just seems like an opportunity to add a little depth there or something without adding time...

#also fascinating with how the duffers portray every teacher as fucking useless. like damn control your class?#el hopper #st4 #angela stranger things #stranger things meta #stranger things #finda's rambles

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heycarrots · 2 months

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There’s been a lot of discourse about the nature of James and Miranda’s relationship. There’s even been a lot of discussion on my podcast about it. One thing I want to make clear is that my podcast is a platform for discussion on all points of view. I’m not going to agree, 100%, with everything that’s said, but it makes the views of my guests no less valid. There’s no right or wrong, here, because this is art and therefore, it is subject to interpretation.

My intent, however, is to attempt to get as close to the original intent of the actors as possible because we look at a show or a film or a play as going through several layers of distillation. Each level purifies the intended narrative leaving its truest essence.

When we make a reduction sauce using an alcohol of some kind, let’s say a red wine, the heat applied to it burns off things we don’t need for flavor. You’re never going to get drunk off of red wine reduction because there’s almost no alcohol left in it. That all gets burned off, leaving only the flavor components, which is what we wanted all along, anyway. We want that extra element that enriches the flavor of the steak, by adding nuance.

So let’s take apart that meal.

We start with the birth of the idea. The story kicks around in an author’s head, trying to get out, growing bigger and more persistent until it outgrows the confines of the mental box inspiration is stored in and has to be let out. That idea, that’s the cow.

The author raises that idea, feeds it, watches it grow, and then, ultimately slaughters it. That sounds awful, but once you have that idea pulsing, growing, evolving and then finally commit the final draft on paper, it is a kind of death. The life of the story comes to an end and it becomes memorialized in a mausoleum. Readers will come to visit, spend time with it, lay down flowers, cherish it, and mourn its passing.

The next level is adaptation. That’s the steak. There are many ways you can slice the story, large roasts encompassing the whole story or a smaller, hyper-focused character study fillet mignon.

A writers room gets hold of the cow and carves it up. They choose what gets cooked and what gets tossed. A GREAT group of writers saves the bones. They take in the entire supporting structure of the piece and while the whole story may not make it onto the screen, they will have slow roasted the bones for a stock. When you watch a show like Black Sails, where themes are introduced that won’t fully be explained or explored until several seasons later, that’s what that is. It is the stock being used to flavor the whole dish. You’ve distilled the entire cow to its purest essence and so every scene, every line of dialogue, every acting choice, encompasses the entirety of the story. A line from episode one is defined by knowledge of the finale and in regard to dialogue, defined by an actors’ knowledge of a character’s backstory. There are many writers rooms who are creating the bones of the story as they go, which means they aren’t starting with a rich stock. You can’t trace back character motivations or choices to begin with because those motivations changed throughout production.

Black Sails, again, isn’t one of those shows. Steinberg and Levine came into the writers room with their stock pot full and sloshing, spilling story everywhere. The richness of the details they were laying can make season one a bit hard to consume unless you are ready for a story on that level. Viewers need to come to the table with some bread to sop up all those character details because we WILL need them later.

Over the course of finalizing scripts and blocking out episodes, the steak is cooked. Like any great steak, this story is medium rare. More juice comes out with every bite. It’s what makes the show infinitely rewatchable. It continues to cook on the plate, but because it wasn’t overdone, it never dries out.

When the actors get ahold of it, that’s the reduction sauce we were talking about. That sauce provides nuance and flavor. That’s the emotion. A line of dialogue on a page is just ink. It’s nothing until it’s spoken aloud. And like any bit of language in this world, it’s subject to interpretation. In this case, it’s the actor who does the interpreting.

I spoke on the podcast about the art of subtext and how huge a role it plays in Black Sails. One example we used is Jane Eyre. It’s one of the most frequently adapted novels in the English language and with each adaptation, we get a new version of our characters. The most volatile and subject to change is Rochester. There are MANY versions of Rochester that I find appalling (including the original beast in the book), but each actor has formed him into something else, based on their performance. Toby Stephens takes Rochester and turns him into a silly tragic romantic, broken many times over by a society he never really fits into, despite the status of his birth. He connects with Ruth Wilson’s Jane because she fully and happily inhabits that space on the fringes that Rochester thinks he needs to climb out of. Jane takes his hand on the outside of the wall, turns him away from the guarded palace and shows him the wild world that was at his back this whole time.

This is what Toby Stephens, Luke Arnold, Louise Barnes, Zethu Dlomo, and really all the actors for whom their subtextual choices make them reflect like prisms, have done with their performances.

In the final distillation, character motivations and emotions are finalized by the actor. Writers can pontificate, the source material lies dead in its lovely tomb, but stories live and breathe by their storytellers.

What we’re left with is Toby’s face telling the world how deeply Flint loves Silver. Every single choice tells this story.

We’re left with Luke showing us how much Silver is repressing in his feelings for Flint. Luke’s face shows us an incredible depth of feeling and a door slamming shut.

We’re left with the incredible intimacy between James and Miranda, which speaks of a decade of shared physical intimacy. There’s an openness, a freeness to it until the moment in episode 3 when Miranda learns that James has found the Urca and is leaving soon to pursue it. She gives some of it away when she says “I thought I’d have you all to myself”. She is mourning the loss of intimacy that she only gets in short windows of time. They aren’t strained because James isn’t attracted to her, but because he’s rarely there. She has him for a few days at a time before he’s off on another hunt. The coldness starts from the moment he tells her he’s leaving in a few days because I believe she thinks he won’t be coming back, that this is the hunt he won’t survive and she’ll finally have lost both James and Thomas. From the moment Richard Guthrie darkens her door, she’s looking for a way to weaponize him and get them out. For her, it’s a race against the clock and she’s willing to sacrifice a bit of her relationship with James in the present to secure happiness for them in the future.

This is also why James still has sex with her before leaving, even though he’s furious for her reading Meditations to Richard. This is how they connect. They connected through physical intimacy in the flashbacks, as well. Him stroking her thumb in the carriage before the kiss. Tactile contact to seal their understanding of each other. Miranda bracing her hands on his chest during important moments in the Hamilton’s home, something she also does to Thomas, to show physical connection, physical intimacy. Miranda thrives on physical touch.

To think that, for 10 years, James is lying there like an object for Miranda to use, is, to me, short sighted. To think that James doesn’t love Miranda outside of a group, is also ignoring the fact that, 10 years on, James will not leave on a hunt (angry as they both are) without physically connecting with her, trying so hard to reach beyond his anger and the wound freshly opened from sight of that book he’s chosen not to look at for probably the better part of those 10 years. The way his hands hover over her back after she comes and he desperately wants to be with her in that moment, like the best of their moments, but he just can’t, speaks to the depth of his love for her.

So many fans of the show point to this sad sex scene as one of the most important character moments for James and Miranda, but I consistently come to the opposite conclusions about WHY it’s important and what we learn from it, because I’m taking my cues from the actor’s choices, not the director or the writers. On the page, in plain ink, he hates having sex with her. Toby and Louise show us, however, that they are trying to recapture a thing that is fleeting, reaching out to each other to patch up an old wound from which the scab has been picked off, leaving it seeping and raw.

From Toby’s performance, regardless of the words he uses years later to describe it, we see not a character who “loves men” or a character who “loves women”, but a character who LOVES. I don’t see Flint defining that love in terms of boxes and parameters. He’s a character who must be coaxed out, but then loves without reason, without a safety net, as he proves with his love of Silver. As was also referenced by a guest on the podcast, he places a sword in Silver’s hand and says “do it”.

Anyway, this post got away from me and took several turns, but the love between James and Miranda being dismissed by so many in the fandom has been bugging me for a while and I just needed to emotionally vomit on tumblr.

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vianthemindelectric · 1 year

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What would happen if these two had to duel and they offer a gun and sword to the other respectively

Would it be a very awkward stalemate. Would they just stand for hours waiting for the other to pick it up.

#this is a very useless thought train but thats my jam man #vian's rambles #the vigilante #meta knight

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aarkose · 2 years

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Everyone calls Dream a pathetic petty little baby girl and like, yeah he is - but

And the characters themselves are like Morpheus is cold, unfeeling, harsh, cruel and yeah he can be and he holds intense grudges - but

I haven't really seen anyone talk about the scene where he's facing the Corinthian, who Morpheus admits was his masterpiece. And our favourite nightmare pointedly says that Dream doesn't care about humanity. He only cares about himself, and his realm and his rules.

Morpheus sort of gets exasperated here, like really dude? And tells us he contains the entire collective unconscious, without his rules it would consume him and humanity. Like maybe he's been there before, or close to it. He admitted he lost an entire universe before because he didn't take out their vortex.

His voice trembles on the word consume, like its always there, ready to crush him, like he's constantly battling, like he's tired, like no one's ever really asked, understood or comprehended that before and he's admitting it for maybe the first time or it's one of the very few. And of all the beings he's admitting it to the Corinthian who throws it in his face.

Death more or less says dream mopes and he should get over it. Fiddler's Green insinuates he's almost incapable of apology or empathy. Lucienne believes he dismisses their efforts and that he's harsh with his punishments. Gault in their defiance tries to make him see that things should be capable of change and wanting something different.

No one seems to get the truth of him? Or part of it. Or if they do it's not apparent and it seems a great tragedy to me. When he says the entire collective unconscious, I'm assuming he means entire, as in not just human - as in all life including other species we don't know of, that are otherwise 'alien'. It seems almost unfathomable to me no one stops to think he's the way he is for a reason.

Every single unconscious thought, decision, fear, nightmare, dream, hope - anything and everything that can manifest in dreams from the nonsensical and absurd to disturbing and whimsical, including concepts we don't even understand as humans. That is what Morpheus is made of. The screams dying in throats as people wake from horrors, the reoccurring scenes of falling, being chased, being late, the grief from loved ones dying, flying, school, sex - the ones that don't make any sense.

The nightmares that are so real and strong you can't get back to sleep. The dreams that are so sweet or fantastic you wake up mourning their loss. Day dreams, dreams that pick up where they left off, lucid dreams, depraved and disturbing dreams. The little thoughts we have about others we'd never say out loud or tell another living soul but they exist. It's all real, part of what makes us who we are and every other being that can dream - no wonder Morpheus' voice trembles on the word consume. That has to be near maddening? Like he's riding the line between insanity at any given moment because dreams can be entirely bizarre as much as they can hold significant meaning.

So he mopes? He's distant? He's cruel or uncaring. Unfeeling in how he operates - I feel like I would be too if I contained the concepts of the entirety of existence - everything his siblings govern exists in his realm in the form of dreams. You can dream about desire, death, destruction, delirium, destiny, despair, all of it. He doesn't feel enough? Distant? Ungrateful?

I think he feels too much, way too much and he can only push it down so far, or hold it back just enough. It makes him seem so delicate in my mind, like those who bottle and bottle. Pushing everything down or back just to keep functioning and then one little thing makes them snap. Suddenly you've damned your former lover to ten thousand years in hell because that amount of time and processing doesn't seem unreasonable against the impossibly incomprehensible thing that is existences unconscious. Let's not forget the souls in hell or every other afterlife, if they also dream, the concept of dreams as goals, the act of dreaming, creation and destruction, every nasty little thought, every fucked up thing anyone has ever comprehended and every joy.

Maybe that's why everyone's harsh on him in my eyes, that he should have all this perspective but seemingly doesn't? But he believes what he does because he has that perspective and some things within that spectrum do not change, they repeat because there's only so much that can exist, and that has to be tiresome.

But honestly, the other Endless, dreams and nightmares should realise what he's dealing with? Especially those close to him, or orbiting because no one is ever really close, and if dreams and nightmares can dream then Morpheus should know those too. I'd probs keep everyone away from me if I was a scrambled construct of emotions.

Fuck me up honestly. My tiny human brain is snapping trying to even comprehend the inner workings of Dream. None of this even makes sense. Just let the man rest, give the baby girl some slack. He's got both feet off the edge and no one's got his back. I'm tired now.

TLDR: Dream probably is the way he is because being who he is, is a lot.

#the sandman #lord of dreams #dream of the endless #useless ramblings #the sandman meta #meta #netflix the sandman #the sandman spoilers #the sandman netflix #morpheus #lord morpheus #i'm sorry about this but I had to get it out #for safe keeping #my ramblings #neil gaiman #bunch of bullshit I word vomited for no reason

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lizzydizzyyo · 1 month

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I think what's really compelling about House's absolute unwillingness to bow down to anything or anyone (the ethical board, the law, extra rich CEO, vindictive police officer, and even the patients themselves) regardless of how absolutely batshit and downright illegal his actions are, is because it's coming from a chronically disabled person, in more ways than one.

He cannot walk without agony or his cane. His chronic and severe pain led him down the path of deep Vicodin addiction until he also becomes psychologically dependent on it too (once, Dr Cuddy gives him saline placebo and it "works", in that he is not feeling his leg pain anymore for a few hours).

He understands it deeply just how desperate people can be when they're in pain and nobody can (or are willing to) help them—at least, so far, until they land on his doorstep. Which is canonically the most extreme step patients take when everything else fails—you don't just go straight to Plainsborough Teaching Hospital and to Dr Gregory House MD's office; you have to go through dozens of other doctors in various specialties and failed treatments too.

(Although that's a separate discussion about how doctors, particularly resident ones, are overworked and underpaid and redtaped by shithead insurance companies even if they do know how to treat a patient and want to).

He knows, from the bottom of his heart, that having such a painful and life-limitting debilitating condition is comparable to hell on earth, because he has one. He knows, that despite his disability being visible to everyone, yet no one wants to put an effort to help him deal with it—is also hell on earth.

Cuddy simply throws money at him and turns the other way to his Vicodin abuse, like she is saying, "I don't care if he takes 10 Vicodin pills a day or more, and I have to pay at least $1M every year for lawsuits, as long as he gets the job done," (and when they decide to go into relationship, she immediately drops him when he relapses, even if the reason for his relapse is her—although, yes, there is another discussion to be had about keeping yourself and your child(ren) safe being a priority compared to helping an addict, recovering or not). Wilson, as loyal as he is to House, simply either enables him or lectures him without going into the root of the issue and thoroughly help House that way. His subordinates, especially after the original trio, are simply too scared, too ignorant, or too ambitious to even approach the issue and choose to keep their job than help House (also another discussion to be had about how you can't help people who don't want to help themselves and so on).

So when he sees a patient who has gone through hell trying to get a correct diagnosis and treatment, he becomes laser-focused on doing everything under the sun to get to the bottom of it and cure the patient. He doesn't care if he has to break into countless of houses (haha pun) and collect insane and probably biohazard samples to do it—he absolutely will, no question.

Yes, hate-criming and being a bigot is his favorite hobby (still livid at the asexual ep and the production's choice for the resolution, let's just say I still have beef with Hugh Laurie and the entire production team for it), and so is insulting patients in so many ways that Shakespeare would personally fly to New Jersey and shake his hands if someone manage to successfully perform necromancy on ol' Billy boy. But House is no one if not dedicated. "Yes, my patient is an idiot, everyone is an idiot too, but I WILL cure their condition like my life depends on it," is basically his middle name.

Besides, you can make the argument that he is more compassionate than all the other doctors around him, because despite his absolute disdain towards some of his patients' beliefs and stupidity, he still works his ass off to treat them. He will call your god an idiot in 7 different languages while putting you in a diagnostic machine he manipulated the whole hospital into letting him use so that you could get a test which weren't available to you before. He will tell you that your currently-happy marriage will end in a bloody divorce and your ex will leave you penniless so love is not real while injecting you with a medication he had to hack the CDC's database for.

There are even episodes that show him being truly earnest, like the clinic duty scene where he is snarky as usual to a girl who seemingly stupidly had unprotected sex until she lashes out, and House is like, "Oh shit, this is above my paygrade", and immediately goes to Cuddy with a very serious expression and no sarcastic dilly-daliying, demanding her to transfer the patient to someone else because he is not good with "curing" rape case (interesting choice on the writers' part to make the patient insist to have therapy with House, though).

There is an episode about a very workaholic woman executive in a fashion company who has tremor and partial paralysis, and later on it's shown that she seems to tie her worth as a person to her corporate success while band-aiding her deep psychological issue like her suicidal ideation, and House genuinely asks her, "Do you want to live? I cannot help you unless you want me to," or something along the line.

There is also the cursed 9-year-old terminal brain cancer episode where Chase kissed the patient (ew), where at first it shows House being a usual misanthophe to Wilson and saying, "She is not brave, it's the brain tumor clot talking because it must be near the amygdala." Later in the episode, House sits near the patient alone, and compassionately asks her if she even wants to live, going through the rest of her short-lived but horrible agony, even if they catch the clot. The surgery to find and get rid of the clot is risky and can debilitate her even more, and this is why House is laying the decision to her hands. That she gets to choose. This is what truly reveals to him that she is genuinely brave (aside from the scan showing the clot to be so far away from her amygdala), but for the wrong reason. She is brave for her mom, willing to go through horrible surgery and drag out her already painful cancer-ridden life because, "My mom needs me". When everyone is congratulating her in the end, you can tell House has a bittersweet expression of both awe towards her bravery, and sadness that this 9-year-old sick girl has to bear the brunt of her horrible pain just so that her mother is not sad. That he couldn't convince her to be a child until the nearing end of her life.

The most interesting evidence of his compassion to me is the gunman hostage episode. It might sound weird because in the whole episode, he is depicted to first want to outsmart the gunman patient, then becomes laser-focused but only because he sees it as a puzzle, then absolutely selfish and dangerous because he volunteers himself as the last hostage and gives the gun back to the guy after the MRI. I do think it's true that his dedication to solving patients-are-just-puzzle-to-me conditions shines through in the episode, especially the scene of him returning his gun, but there is something else I catch when I rewatched it before.

When the gunman patient is put in the MRI because Cameron tells him a theory through the hostage call, the remaining doctors in the room including House are wary at the gunman but also hopeful. Yet, when the result shows up on the screen, he realizes that the theory is wrong and the guy let go his only bargaining chip for nothing. If you watch this part carefully, you'll notice that House actually looks pitying and sad at the gunman's disappointed demeanor and expression. He realizes he is going to be another notch in the guy's failed doctors list, and at this point (with the gun given away and even the best, most talented doctor also not finding out what's wrong with him), the guy has given up hope that he will ever see the day he will be cured, certainly not behind the bars.

Yes, his thirst for puzzle is House's big driving force in giving back the gun, but you'll be lying to yourself if you don't notice House's compassion for the guy because he doesn't want the guy to go out empty-handed, with absolutely no more hope because House knows once they step out of the door, this guy will never, ever be allowed to be in the vicinity of any hospital or doctor ever again in his life, aside from jail's bare-minimum exams and medications. House can't handle the thought of putting someone else through his own disappointment—that nothing works to help his leg pain. He especially doesn't want to be the cause for this gunman guy's case either. Even in the end when House realizes the guy is a fucking moron because he doesn't know that Florida is, in fact, in earthwide-horizontal tropical zone and this is what stumps most of the guy's previous doctors—House still gives him a subtle salute to the guy while being handcuffed and led away, almost to say, "Enjoy your healing and the defeat of your arch nemesis The Sickness™, glad to be part of it."

Majority of his drive to stop at nothing until his patient is cured is definitely thanks to his own fucked-up leg, even if there are some dialogues with Cuddy and Stacy Warner (House's ex wife) that seem to imply he has always been a misanthrophe whose hobby is getting into malpractice (or general) lawsuits. I wholeheartedly believe that after his leg clot rendered him disabled and with chronic pain, he became much more dedicated and obsessed with getting to the bottom of a patient's medical information, even for info that seems innocuous or irrelevant that always turn out to be important (probably more like a plot armor than established characterization, to be honest), almost like this is his method of relating to the patients in his own weirdly human way, and maybe a little bit (actually, a lot) of projecting.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#house md #rec #media analysis #writing #english #me #i hv more to say abt this show like him making the mistake of not amputating his leg bc of his bias against (particularly visible)disabilit #even tho cuddy and his other past ortho surgeons suggest against keeping the leg because the clot is really bad and unsalvagable #years later even while having his leg it's now useless because all it gives him is pain and anger issue with a dash of opioid addiction #so when he sees patient being stupid or refusing a certain test/treatment he KNOWS in the bottom of his heart to be right #he just won't take it lying down & he will drag his patients kicking & screaming bc ''trust me i was an idiot too don't repeat my mistake''#but that's an essay for another day #whump #whump meta #disability

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yardsards · 2 years

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thinking of the Implications of the blight parents signing their 14 year old daughter up for emperor's coven tryouts

because

1: the emperor's coven takes their recruits away from their friends and family

2: they do not wait until you are an adult to do this

(like, even assuming the process from getting accepted into the coven to actually joining it and moving to the castle aren't as fast as hunter makes it sound here it's like.

we do see lilith having dinner at home after eda's been cursed. so it wasn't immediate (at least back then it wasn't)

but they weren't waiting til she was an adult either. cuz eda was 2 years younger than lilith (thus at least 2 years younger than whatever the boiling isles considers an adult, cuz we know lilith was still a student then too) and she and lilith planned on joining at the same time. there wasn't a "well, eda can't actually *join* join for two more years, so she might as well wait for next tryout anyway"

which, tryouts might not be *yearly*, perhaps it's more efficient to not have to run the training camp every year, but i don't imagine they'd be less often than every couple of years)

so this?

the blight parents are 100% willing to send their FOURTEEN YEAR OLD CHILD away *forever*

14 years old. not even done with puberty yet. half a head shorter than her siblings and a whole head shorter than her parents. face still covered in baby fat.

this is a child who is called *mittens* by not only her siblings but by the very parents who were willing to send her away

and they weren't just sending her off to live far-ish away and rarely see them again; they were sending her off to have a Real Grownup Job. even if exactly how bad working for the emperor is isn't a well-known fact, it's still obviously a full-time job.

odalia has wanted amity to join the emperor's coven for a long time. after all, having a daughter in the emperor's coven would bring a lot of prestige to the family, and she could maybe try to leverage amity's position to gain more power

and odalia can be an impatient woman, so it makes sense that she'd want this to happen as soon as possible. not to mention, she's canonically not averse to child labour

(i briefly considered that maybe odalia wanted amity out of her life but i don't think that's the case. odalia doesn't outright hate amity; odalia's cruelty comes from seeing her family as tools (and seeing amity as very useful but flawed) rather than malice)

meanwhile, alador explains his choice by saying he thought it was what amity wanted

and it's addressed that that's not really her dream (at least, it DEFINITELY isn't anymore. they way she used to "want" to join the emperor's coven is worthy of its own post tbh). and that if he paid attention to her, talked to her, listened to her, and made himself a person that she could comfortably admit these kinds of things to, then he'd know that.

but he also ignores her when she says she doesn't want to go to tryouts that night (even if she didn't admit that she never wants to join the emperor's coven at all) and wants to go to the bonesborough brawl instead.

doesn't stop to question why his daughter -who has previously shown herself to be rather studious, responsible, and goal-oriented- would suddenly want to "goof off". he just... assumes she's being irresponsible and thoughtlessly not pursuing "her dream" or "a bright future" for no reason, and just needs to be pushed into doing the supposedly responsible thing

but that doesn't quite explain why he's convinced that she needs to do this at *age fourteen*, why her future can't wait a few more years, why her dream needs to happen as soon as possible before her childhood's even over. (and i'm not gonna take "because odalia said so" as an answer here; he's clearly convinced that what he's doing is right and is not just mindlessly following orders)

well, first possibility: i think maybe, while he's not as bad or blatant about it as his wife, he might also think material success is the key to happiness (and the emperor's coven is considered one of the most successful positions in the world, next to being a covenhead)

and with that kind of mindset, a lot of the things that would bring the children actual happiness just get forgotten. their needs for attention and affection, for friendship and leisure, for the freedom to express themselves, for the chance to just be kids, all get thrown by the wayside -sacrificed in the name of "success"

by that line of thinking: joining the emperor's coven = material success and material success = happiness. and if joining the emperor's coven = happiness, then joining sooner = being happy sooner. and why wouldn't a parent want their child to find happiness as soon as possible? unfortunately her age and specific needs are not in that equation at all, even though they're obviously actually very important factors

(you could also honestly apply this reasoning to odalia herself as well, if you want to be charitable. cuz i've seen good arguments that she does actually care about her family's wellbeing, but in a twisted sort of way, wherein her priorities are extremely skewed AND it gets obscured by her own selfishness. idk, the show's characterization of her is weird, even compared to her husband (i blame the s3 shortening rushing their development, tbh). so i waited to bring this up til after i started talking about alador.)

there's also a second possibility: maybe he realizes that their home environment is bad for amity (which, it is), and thinks getting her out of there early by any means would be good for her (which, not quite the case)

maybe not even by noticing her actual misery, but by projecting his own misery onto her. like, he's in an abusive marriage and severely overworked. when he says amity has a bright future, he's kind of contrasting her with himself, and -consciously or not- implying that his life is not what a bright future looks like (which kind of goes against the first possibility, because he is rather financially successful). and he's very afraid of his children having to take his place: probably especially amity, because she's the abomination witch and would be more likely to have to take on his exact job

(ironically, though he doesn't know it, emperor's coven members are just as overworked and controlled as he is)

except, y'know, leaving a toxic home environment to become fully self sufficient is not the kind of upgrade for a kid that it would be for an adult. it'd just be throwing her from one bad situation to another

and also it's your responsibility as a parent to provide an environment for your child that they don't need to escape from. and while some concessions can be made due to the whole abusive wife situation, that doesn't absolve him of all responsibility.

like, the whole point of his role in reaching out was that the WERE things that he COULD do better. like, he became a better father at the end of that episode than he was at the beginning. and none of that change was due to "my wife changed, so i now have the ability to be a better father"; odalia wasn't involved in that growth at all

#eliot posts #toh #the owl house #toh meta #amity blight #odalia blight #alador blight #i love analyzing this family's deeply messed up dynamics if that fact weren't obvious already #*lifts up the blight family* every last one of yinz need therapy #sidenote most of these screenshots are basically useless in making my point #the adhd just likes pictures to break up text blocks #long post #anyway. *puts the blight parents into a blender*

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yannaryartside · 7 months

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Seriously, you are telling me we are not supposed to ship this two when this scene...

gif by @sluttyhenley

happens right before this scene?

Like, the first shot in the second scene is of Carmy's hands, he is sitting there thinking, thinking about Sydney, thinking about the restaurant until Claire comes all in panties and a shirt. Sydney is in the restaurant they were supposed to create together, and he is somewhere else. If anything the whole restaurant building fiasco on Carmy's part may serve as a way to symbolize how he is not ready to build anything with anyone, not when the love was an excuse to run away from his trauma, and the trauma itself made it all crash down even with the most people pleaser/complaiant person in the whole world. Claire was a test herself.

I also like how the scene tries to be all love-giving/love-seeking and yet manages to express the disconnection beetween Claire and Carmy. He is thinking about the test, and so is Sydney, and his mind is connected to Sydney's, right at that moment, their telepathy is in full effect. Claire can provide everything she ever had to offer: compliance, and yet Carmy's connection to Sydney is winning when she is not even in the room. Fuck off.

Jesus Christ, you can discover layers and layers in this scene, someone needs to do a course on film school using this show.

#sydcarmy #carmy berzatto #sydney adamu #the bear fx #the bear #carmy x sydney #carmy the bear #the bear meta #at this point I don't even know if I show tag Claire because their shippers may see this and that will be useless #Claire was a test

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57sfinest · 1 year

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What do you think about Evrart Claire? You mentioned you think about him in one of your tags I think.

okay i will first direct to you to trusted mutual @sydmarch for the most in-depth evrart thoughts with the appropriate warning for nsfw lmfaoo

but like. evrart is one of those characters where you have an initial knee-jerk reaction to them and then you kinda have to reevaluate after all is said and done because you get a LOT more context on them as you go.

most shallowly, you're meant to see evrart as the slimy "fantastically corrupt" union (mob) boss who sits in his office embezzling and making others do his dirty work (the hardies as his enforcement, you as his little errand dog, you get the point). however, a first point i want to make is that comparing a justified labor or civil rights advocate group to a "mob" is such a ubiquitous piece of capitalist/bigot rhetoric that it should automatically clue you in to the fact that something else is going on here. also taken in context with the fact that kortenaer poses as a scab to break the strike, further framing the union as a lazy, entitled, unreasonable splinter faction of stupid socialists-- obviously we know that the people who made this game are leftists, so it's not just Ough Unions Bad. there is Something Else Going On! because we are seeing this union strike filtered primarily through the lens of someone who is, consciously or not, a moralintern lackey! even at his most self-aware, calling himself the moralintern's bitch, harry does not have enough awareness of the world and his role in it to recognize how he is being manipulated by the various agendas at play here, and that affects our perception of it.

i think evrart presents as corrupt and weaselly on purpose! again syd has said a lot of this already & i've added some stuff in their tags, but i'll reiterate here for convenience. he is aware of the rhetoric people can use against him and he uses that to his advantage. he's using his personal reputation as misdirection. we see in dialogue that even joyce, an ultraliberal diehard capitalist who obviously dislikes the union, concedes that it was respectable in and of itself before the claires came in:

and we can infer that a lot of that might be because the union was *less effective before the claires took charge*. of course a capitalist will respect an ineffective labor union! but on top of this, the claires' open "corruption" give anti-union people an easy target for criticisms that serve to legitimize the union itself. oh, they say, well, the union is alright, it's just the claires that are ruining it. it's misdirection and it's genius. evrart's reputation isn't a concern if the union is doing its job, right? and here's another thing: i think people will trust open corruption more than they'll trust altruism that seems to good to be true. especially in a world with something like moralism, where this organization has killed millions and will kill *millions more* for a "greater good" that is literally just the status quo. if evrart's corruption is an open secret, as joyce puts it, people feel they can trust him *because* he's transparent about the bad things he supposedly does or supports or whatever. at least he's honest, right?

this makes the juxtaposition of evrart with joyce SUPER interesting, too. i think they both have that 'honest about their bad traits' way of going at people- joyce with her self-aware but relentless ultraliberalism, evrart with his intentionally misrepresented agendas. of the two, i think people tend to like joyce a lot more, despite her and evrart using pretty much the *same exact tactics*, and i think that tendency is largely explained by the intersection of gender and fatphobia and ingrained capitalist rhetoric, but i digress.

yes, the way evrart's little tasks are presented makes them *feel* slimy- you're evrart's peone, you're a little bitch dog running his errands to get a gun you never should have lost to begin with, he knows how to help and he's toying with you- but it's on purpose!! you can be joyce's little bitch dog too and it's not framed anywhere near as scummy. It Is On Purpose. because if evrart pretends to be the "socialist" mob boss, maybe it really does get martinaise the youth center, or enough money to, you know, fix the crumbling buildings that could kill the tenants at any moment. there are genuinely good things he is sincerely trying to accomplish. he is curating his image exactly as he needs it to be to get things done and that's partly why joyce hates him *so much*.

and of course this isn't to say that the claires never do anything wrong. contracting dros to kill the previous union head, for example. if i had to pin evrart's major sin, i think he's an "end justifies the means" type of guy. the other union head candidate needed to die for progress to be made. the fishing village will have to go so we can build martinaise up properly. some people, if not willingly cooperative- like harry- need to be used for their status regardless. we see the union at the opposite end of "for the greater good" as moralism: where moralism wants to stall the world, the union represents ruthless progression. why else the red-vs-blue juxtaposition of the union vs the moralintern and its financial interests? the red banners draped over shipping containers?

#the passivity of 'a blue forget me not a piece of the gray sky'#and the absolute useless resignation of their unofficial motto 'for a moment there was hope'#vs the unyielding demand of EVERY WORKER A MEMBER OF THE BOARD #do you understand. gripping you by the collar DO YOU UNDERSTAND.#also this shit is partly why evrart goes for harry and just shuts kim down every time he tries to interject #evrart knows harry is impressionable in this moment #kim 1) has the potential to talk harry out of sympathizing with the union #and 2) has strong moralist or at least anti-disruption convictions already so evrart knows he can't be swayed so easily #if evrart bothered to do research on harry OF COURSE he looked into kim as well.#saurrr yeah take evrart as you like but he is doing real work you can't deny that #kiwipost #evrart claire #disco elysium #ec meta #gen meta #ask

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writtenreblogs · 16 days

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Random thought, but you know that feeling you sometimes get when you’re being watched? Batman and Robin are way too in tune with their senses/reflexes not to get that feeling, and Tim watched them way too often to not provoke it. So I propose: Tim Drake is a meta, and his ability is not provoking that feeling.

#Just that. Nothing else.#useless in every situation that isn’t reconnaissance #he has advantage on stealth #you could go a step further and say that he like. has a mild invisibility ability #or that he controls the shadows and uses them to cover him #though that is getting a bit too similar to Duke #I just like the idea of metas not realising they’re metas because their ability is so mundane #honestly I might have to write something about Tim having some latent undetectability #maybe that’s why his parents are so neglectful lol #red robin #dc comics #batfam #tim drake #dc robin #batman #fic ideas #fandom thoughts #batman thoughts #rewritten speaks

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stuffnonsenseandotherthings · 10 months

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Be My Favourite is Queering More than Just the Love Story.

I wrote here about how, at the start of the show, Be My Favourite queers the straight narrative by taking a heteronormative romance plotline (Kawi pining after Pear for years and using travel to Get The Girl) and transforming into a queer love story (in which Kawi falls in love with his love revival).

Now I thought once Kawi and Pisaeng got together that would be us done with the Queering of the Narrative but it seems like this show still has more to give, albeit in a much more subtle way: Be My Favourite now seems to be Queering the lens and structure of the show itself.

We have spent the entirety of Be My Favourite experiencing the story from Kawi's perspective. Yes, we occasionally get glimpses into Pisaeng's or Pear's point of view but Kawi is the character throughout which we, the audience, understand and process the majority of the narrative and is, as such, the defacto protagonist, our lens into the show.

In most "standard" single-lead stories we stay with the same protagonist, the same audience lens, throughout the entirety of the narrative, right up until the very end. After all, why leave a character we have grown to know and understand in the penultimate act? This is the "expected" structure, the "accepted" structure, the (hetero)normative structure.

Not in Be My Favourite however.

In episode 11 our perspective suddenly changes. As soon as the camera follows Pisaeng out of the door at 7:30 instead of staying the the sick Kawi, the audience lens shifts and the roles are reversed: Pisaeng is now the protagonist, the lens through which the audience understands and experiences the narrative, while Kawi, who up until this point has been the centre of our experience as the audience, is suddenly relegated to the "secondary" role of the love interest. The audience lens has been flipped on it's head.

So how exactly is this queering? Well, the queering of a text can take many forms but it's primary function is to challenge and, where possible, deviate from the "accepted", "standard", (hetero)normative structures and this includes the in the very structure of the narrative itself. Just as Be My Favourite queers and escapes the restrictive narrative boundaries of the straight love story by having Kawi fall for his love rival, it is now queering and escaping the restrictive boundaries of the narrative structure itself and challenging the idea of how the story "should be told". Why should Be My Favourite stick to the set (and historically heteronormative) binary of "Protagonist/Love Interest"? Why must the characters be defined by arbitrarily assigned labels? Why shouldn't the character roles be fluid and changeable? Why must things stay the way they have always been?

Be My Favourite says screw "normal" right down to it's very heart and I think that's pretty darn cool.

#thai bl #be my favorite #be my favourite the series #be my favourite episode 11 #be my favourite meta #what I also love is that the shift is done so well it doesnt feel weird or jarring #it works perfectly #partly because of the Pisaeng POV flashbacks we've been fed throughout the show #kawi x pisaeng #kawi #pisaeng #who said my degree was useless?

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