I know the finale we focus a lot on Flint “waking up from a long nightmare” and readjusting to the daylight, but I think we forget about Silver’s.
From the beginning, Silver holds true to the belief that if he doesn’t care about or invest in the wellbeing of someone else, he can escape any situation unaffected. Unharmed. Silver, Mr. “She chose it. Guilt is natural. It also goes away, if you let it.”
This is a cold hearted way of thinking. It’s not hard to see he has a problem with commitment.
Additionally, Silver also says “I have an incredibly low tolerance for pain.” I think these too things go hand in hand. If I don’t care about someone, it won’t hurt as bad when they leave.
But then the most painful thing imaginable happens. He loses his leg. A reality he cannot escape from no matter how hard he tries. The loss of his leg acts as a wake up call to his feelings he’s repressed for so long. His lack of self worth, his hallow-ness, his guilt, his pain. It all becomes too much to bear.
I think the physical pain awakes his nerves to emotional pain. Now anything he feels, he feels too much. The fear of dying by Flint’s recklessness. The fear of the mess he’s gotten into. The fear of ending up like Randall. The longing to be known by someone. “Would I be enough for you?” The feelings of his partners. Feels the depths of Flint’s grief so intensely it almost drives him mad. Spirals once he’s lost Madi because it is the first time he’s felt loss in a long long time. Not only that but he finally feels the rage he initially had a hard time understanding about Flint and Thomas’ story. At the time he was too focused on Flint’s destructiveness as a stand-alone force. He did not comprehend it as grief and rage until he lost Madi.
Flint’s conversation with him sword-fighting in the finale basically adds up to “What are you running from?” Because he is hiding something from Flint. Hiding something from himself because it is too painful to bear. He does not form his identify in a coherent story like Flint does. He believes life to be a series of unending horrors with no purpose or underlying story.
Then Madi helps him resurface from the depths the pain has taken him to. As he finally begins to tolerate it in a healthy way, he finally warms up to the idea of creating a life for himself. A life with himself and Madi. But then he finally chooses, finally commits to something, and it ruins his life.
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pov: gay couple hit your parked car and they're gaslighting you into paying for the repairs
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Ok I hate it but I promised you guys so there you have it
Silver's not dead btw I was trying to show that the memory of his teachings lead Jim to- nevermind you got it
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