MORE JAX ANGST PSLLSLSLS

Okay. This is me projecting my issues on to a fictional rabbit thing tho.

Tw: self harm.

if the fates allow i’ll be yoinking some ocd meds. if the fates don’t allow i will be holding a séance and yoinking some dark ghouls

I used to love playing outside as a kid. Exploring the creek by my grandma's; swimming in just about any body of water I was allowed to.

I'd pick up sticks and rocks and try to catch frogs without a second thought.

I'd enjoy honeysuckle nectar and dandelion pollen straight from my backyard.

Now I can't even sit on our lawn chairs because what if a squirrel had been on it or something?

I’m so fucking mad that I was never able to experience the simplicity and lightheartedness of childhood. I try not to ruminate on my past because obviously it doesn’t help my future but having OCD starting at age 6 completely fucks you. I only know my experience but no it is not normal to obsess over damnation and illness and pedophilia at the fucking age of 6 years old. I would have violent and sexual intrusive thoughts and I would repeat the words “pony” or “chocolate” to myself to try to neutralize the thoughts and it never worked (of course). People who have never experienced OCD but even people who have it but didn’t during their most formative years cannot comprehend the damage it does to the mind. OCD drives you to the brink of insanity and when it’s what you’ve known for almost your whole life (18 years for me) you can’t help but to feel sometimes that it will never stop and you should just end it all.

I really like the idea of hobie being my supportive best friend as a person who has OCD and anxiety issues. I know that if I were a spider person like he was and knew about the HQ and alternate universes I’d start obsessing over everything and give myself an existential crisis lol. the idea of one of my fav characters being worried about me and trying to support me comforts me tbh

OCD gang rise up.

That'd be so interesting of a concept. A spider person with OCD. Is this bad feeling my spider sense or is it just the ocd again? Am I being paranoid or is this something that I should actually be concerned about? Is this a compulsion or is this a new behavior caused by the bite? There are so many layers to this. We always talk about how the different spider variants are all autistic but what about other mental disorders?

I love this idea too (I might expand on this later who knows)

Even after you learn ways to cope with your obsessive thoughts and/or compulsions it still feels stifling and alienating having to deal with everything yourself. So having someone who's just by your side even if they don't understand what you're going through makes the challenge a lot less daunting.

Hobie seems like the type of person who'll just ask you what you want him to do. He'd never make assumptions especially since every person has different needs based on their neurotypes. If you want him to redirect you when you're obsessing over something all of a sudden he has a new song that he wants your opinion on. He wouldn't be straight forward with it but he'll remind you in roundabout ways that your unwanted thoughts are not a reflection of who you are inside. Like when he was trying to show Miles that HQ wasn't all that it seemed.

(This ask has been sitting in my drafts for a hot minute lol.)

CW: frank discussion of suicidal ideation, OCD.

Look, I’m not a professional but I have been misdiagnosed by at least two, and I just want to point something out that I wish I’d had the words for a decade ago so I could avoid being put on the wrong medications for years.

If your suicidal thoughts look like: “I don’t want to be here any more”, yeah, they’re probably suicidal ideation.

If your suicidal thoughts look like: “I actually don’t want to die, but I keep having visions and thoughts of me harming myself or wondering what would happen if I did something entirely reckless that would undoubtedly end in my death and these thoughts will not stop even though, as I said, I have no desire to die”, bb, ask your doctor about OCD and abnormal intrusive thoughts, I beg you. And if they don’t know anything about it, ask if they can refer you to someone who does.

I have been passively suicidal in the past (“I don’t want to be the one to do it, but if I could just stop existing, that would be ideal”), but by the time I first went to therapy, that was no longer a thing for me. I didn’t want to not be here any more. But I did keep having repeating visions of me harming myself in a variety of ways that, on paper, looked very much like suicidal ideation. And I became convinced that I was going to hurt myself because I kept having the thoughts. And it took years for me to learn about OCD (specifically pure-O OCD for me at least, which means I don’t have obvious compulsions) and a few more years for a (new) therapist and a (new) psychiatrist to say, “Hey, that mood disorder you were diagnosed with sure does…not look like a mood disorder and actually looks a lot like a gnarly combination of ADHD and OCD with a sprinkling of social anxiety.”

(Also, if you’re like, “Well, I didn’t want to harm myself, but after having these thoughts fifty times in a row, I’m starting to think I will act on them”, that could still be intrusive thoughts. OCD is like…you know how there have been cases where cops have convinced innocent people that they committed a crime just by like…telling them they committed the crime for hours and hours? It’s like that. OCD is a crooked cop and it will try to convince you your intrusive thoughts are a realistic threat.)

Anyway, this isn’t meant to diagnose anybody with anything; it’s just information I wish I’d had years ago. If I’d known that what I was experiencing were intrusive thoughts rather than suicidal ideation, I think I might have been diagnosed earlier which would have meant more helpful treatment/learning coping skills earlier.

Please reach out for help if you experience any of the above — I want you here and I want you well. (Wikipedia of all places has a list of crisis hotlines by country if that’s something you might find helpful.)

OC POSTING AGAIIIN one of the protags/deuteragonist of a longterm project im working on :-] More proper ref under the cut! TW body horror n partial nudity

a bit older so i want to update it but i thought it’d be nice to put stuff for this project here since i’m probably going to do a bunch of stuff for it during college 🤞

ya know i keep that thang on me

sometimes i forget that Lark doesnt canonically have OCD and that thats just me projecting and im like. 😧 (like /light hearted obviously, im just like. huh? 🤨)

tw: ocd mention, dissociation, obsessions/compulsions, intrusive thoughts, nody dysmorphia (i'm sorry yall i'm ttying not to post too manh vents but my brain keeps getting to me and i dont have a good outlet to vent to)

EVERYTHING I DO IS OCD RELATED. LIKE I'M BEING SERIOUS. ZONING OUT TOO MUCH? DISSOCIATION, WHICH IS A SYMPTOM OF OCD. OBSESSIVELY BRUSHIHG MY HAIR? OCD SYMPTOM. INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS? OCD SYMPTOM. OBSESSION WITH ORDER? OCD SYMPTOM. BODY DYSMORPHIA? OCD SYMPTOM. WHY AM I LIKE THIS BRO!??!?!?

anyway how are yall??

Since I plan on writing a burakovsky fic soon (basically whenever I can get my computer to actually run the fucking games) here is a list of facts about Daniil (mix of canon and head canon)

He is gay (no shit)

He is trans. I don't think homophobia and transphobia exist in Town-on-Gorkhon, but they do in the capital, so he probably has some internalized prejudice towards himself

Emotionally distant father who tried to force him into the military

Absolute slay of a mother

Big addictive personality Edit: mostly cigarettes and cocaine. I think artemy would have to introduce him to some natural drug that would actually call him down

Played the cello as a child

I think his first brush with death involved a beetle and I think that's gonna be a whole ass chapter

I've seen a lot of people head canon him as having contamination OCD bc of the gloves, but as someone with that kind of OCD, I think he wouldn't have picked this profession if that was the case? Idk, if you have OCD please share your thoughts

I think Daniil is ace and not bc of like "wow this work-dedicated, kind of cold character is actually just asexual!" kind of way bc that's shitty but because of how he talks to Artemy. Like, obviously it would throw off the tone if he was openly lusting after him but the romantic dialogue is so. I just get the idea that Daniil really just likes this guy's brain (maybe this is me just projecting my own sexuality onto him but to be fair I would also give the day 1 soulmate speech)

5'2"

Very awkward when not intentionally putting on his "thanatologist" act

He sits in chairs weird

Yummy venting through fiction character

having very mild ocd is kinda just annoying sometimes like no my family and friends aren’t going to die if i cut my grilled cheese diagonal. can you fucking stop maybe

Sorry for The Silence…

I’ve been having a lowkey breakdown since Sunday because 1. My mother was very ill (we thought it was a heart attack/stroke, but it wasn’t either, thank goodness), and 2. My OCD kicked into overdrive. So my mind’s kind of shut down since Sunday, resulting in lots of panic attacks. I’ve been in work and survival mode, lol. Hopefully I can get some super cleaning done over the long weekend to recoup. And hopefully I can’t get some blog stuff done! Like answer asks for once, lol.

So I'm playing through hollow knight for the first time and I've gotten pretty far, and now I'm exploring deepnest. Which is great, except for I'm reaaaaaly creeped out by spiders. Like, to the point where while playing I feel itchy and it's messing with my OCD. It's frustrating because I really like this game but this area is fucking with my mental health and I need to go here to progress but at the same time I can't stand all the spider shit. Idk what to do, maybe I'll make my brother play through this area or smth

the whole thing with the history coursework really hit home because i had a similar experience but in sixth form. like i had these crippling ocds that manifested as “bad letters” so i made myself perform an hour of rituals just to write one sentence that i’d delete anyway?? so history coursework sucks as does ocd