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waterfallofspace · 5 months

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What A Way To Start A Year

T/im learns a little something about karma, friends, and care. Seems even J/on isn't quite as cold as he seems.

A M/agnus A/rchives fic, set somewhere pre-season 1. Shouldn't have any spoilers, but proceed with caution just incase~ (nothing late game, just character dynamic things)

Welcome to "I meant for this to be a little drabble and I wrote 3k words"~ Having a bit of hyperfixation and burn out as I started this new year, soooo I decided to make T/im suffer <3 Not promising quality seeing as I wrote this all in the span of tonight, but consider it a lil 'too long' drabble, and happy new years!

Best way to start off the new year, giving one of your lil guys a lil snz <3

Characters: T/im, M/artin, S/asha, and J/on. Word Count: 3.9k

(CW: There is some swearing, and light descriptions of high fevers)

Christmas had been good this year, maybe the best it had in a long time. Life of the party as always, Tim had enjoyed getting to spend it with his old, and new, colleagues. On top of that, Jon had been laid up with a pretty awful cold for a couple days leading up to it, so he wasn’t around to crush any brilliant ideas Tim came up with.

This led to the budget receiving a fairly substantial hit, though many researchers donated to the cause when they learned this borrowing wasn’t exactly approved. Hell, even Elias had pitched in, claiming something or other about ‘archivists fit for the job not exactly growing on trees’, and wanting to ‘save some of Jon’s sanity’.

“Tim? Are you even listening to me?”

Pulled back to the conversation at hand, Tim lifts his gaze to the taller man fidgeting nervously in front of him. Martin was never one for confrontations, and usually the first ‘no’ would have been more than enough to lead to a string of apologies for even asking. Today however, he seems to have grown a spine. At the worst possible moment.

“Oh come on,” Martin continues, missing the groan slipping from Tim’s throat. “Even Jon agreed to it!”

“I’m not really in the party mood,” Tim retorts, leaning back in his chair. “Besides, Jon didn’t agree to celebrate, he agreed not to stop the celebration. Not the same thing.”

From across her desk, Sasha gives a low chuckle. “He’s got you there, Martin.”

“Can you at least give it a little thought before turning it down?” Martin insists, completely out of character for someone usually so eager to please.

What the hell has gotten into him today? He didn’t even seem to enjoy himself that much at the Christmas party. Sure, he had a few drinks and mingled with the staff, but he’d left as soon as it was over, not waiting around for chatting like Tim and Sasha.

Clearing his throat with a grimace, Tim casts Sasha a dark look as she chuckles again. Knowing far too much, as usual. Especially when it came to him. If it was anyone else, Tim would hate it with all his being, but given that it’s Sasha… well it’s a welcome invasion.

Still, it would be nice if she didn’t rat him out. And to Martin of all people, well let’s just say he saw what happened when Jon was sick. Yeah, passing on that one. Attention is great, Tim lives for it, but the coddling? Not really his style.

“hiEH– guh…”

Damn, that had been a close one. Thankfully Martin seems oblivious, though Sasha sits up in her chair, reaching down into a drawer to fish something out.

Turning his focus back to Martin, Tim provides an offer, desperate to just have the interaction come to an end.

“Fine, I’ll show up, but I don’t want any part in planning it.”

“Oh of course, I’ll handle all the details, I mean it’s just a new years party, how much can there really be to do? I mean food, timing, gotta make sure we have keys to the building– oh but if Jon’s there, that shouldn’t be a problem…” Martin says, rambling beginning to fade into the background as Tim finds himself unable to-

“hH– ek’CHhiew!”

“-Oh, bless you!” Martin says, his own thoughts long forgotten.

Unable to get a word out, Tim merely waves a hand, ducking into his shoulder for another, “eTChhew!”

“Bles-”

And another, “iTSChh’ew!”

“Oh ble-”

And another, “ehh– kTChh’iew!”

Silently Sasha stands, handing Tim a pack of tissues. Must have been what she was looking for in the desk. Once again, knowing more than she should, of course she picked up on his patterns.

Accepting them gratefully, Tim pulls a few out and roughly rubs at his nose, pointedly avoiding Martin’s worried gaze. Gripping his still trembling nose through the tissue, Tim sucks in a tight breath through his teeth, holding for a beat, before finally spinning around in his chair for a final-

“hH’ETCSHh-ieuw! Whew, bless me.”

Martin’s hands are fidgeting again, seemingly unsure of what to do with himself as Tim gives his nose a light massage through the tissue. He’s aware enough not to point it out, but is nearly shaking with the effort of suppressing his concerns.

With a sigh, Tim meets his eyes. “I’m fine, Martin. I always sneeze like that.” He leaves out ‘when I’m sick’. It also happens if he’s suffering allergies, though he doubts that would be a point in his defense given it’s the middle of winter.

“Yeah he’s not kidding,” Sasha pipes up, throwing Tim a wink as he glares. “You should hear him in spring, once it starts he can be going for hours.”

“I wouldn’t say hours, Sash-”

“Remember the cherry blossom incident?” Sasha interrupts, sending a sugary smile over to Martin. “He was wrecked for the rest of the day, I was almost certain he was never gonna stop. Even considered giving a statement here, that reaction was almost supernatural.”

Tim winces, an audible moan slipping from his lips. “We swore to never speak of it again.”

Sasha laughs, Tim giving her another playful glare from behind his tissues. “You swore that, I did no such thing.”

Thankfully Martin doesn’t pry, having enough common sense to offer a polite chuckle, and offer some excuse about ‘planning’. Still, he can’t help himself from shooting a meek “I hope you feel better soon” over his shoulder, Tim giving him finger guns in return.

“This is karma, you know,” Sasha calls after Martin’s outside earshot. “You took pleasure in Jon’s suffering, so now it’s your turn to suffer the same fate.”

“No, thi- eTChhew! Scuse me,” Tim says, rubbing his nose with the tissue one last time before depositing it in his nearly overflowing trash can. Another tissue is plucked as his eyes begin to water, nostrils flaring with reckless abandon. Never just one.

“kTChh’uew! hh’iTChh –uew! Tihhckles… eTCHh! etchh’uh! hiehh–”

The last one toys with him, tracing the rims of his nostrils, back up his sinuses, a gentle itch that seems to burn against every inch of his nose. Finally, with a desperate gasp, Tim ducks into his wrist for the last, “heh’ATChhh –iew!”

“Many blessings. Sounds like you need them,” Sasha offers with a wince, tossing another pack of tissues over, which Tim catches with a single hand, the other still gripping his nose.

After taking a moment to clean himself up, Tim shoots her his signature smile, ignoring the eye roll she shoots back. “Where was I?”

“Admitting this is karma?”

“It’s not karma, it’s lack of common sense. Going to a party where a coworker is sick, and still drinking and eating the same meals” Tim says, aiming a rough cough into his sleeve.

Sasha winces once more at the quality of the cough, hands rummaging through her drawers once more as she tosses a reply back. “And yet you’re the only one who caught it. Seems like karma to me.”

Closing the distance between them in a single stride, Sasha places a hand on Tim’s shoulder, voice softening. “It’s two days till new years, why don’t you go home and try to get some rest? I doubt Martin will object, and I’ll cover for you with Jon.”

Before Tim can form his rebuttal, Sasha places a box of paracetamol and a jar of vapor rub in front of him. Nodding his thanks, Tim lets out another harsh cough into his arm, leaning as far away from Sasha as he can manage.

With a light rub to his shoulder, Sasha walks to the door, holding it open with a pointed look. “Go home, you sound awful.”

“Alright, alright. I got the message. hH’ETchhiew!” Tim says, gathering his care package and beginning his walk down the hallway.

“If I hear the rest of that fit happening in this building, I’m telling Martin how ill you really are,” Sasha calls after him, a smile flashing over her face as Tim holds up his hands in mock surrender, before ducking back into his arm with another muffled burst.

—

“You look horrible.”

Tim manages a weary smile from behind the tightly wound scarf. “Thagk you.”

Martin winces, standing in the doorframe, seemingly oblivious to the winter chill soaking into Tim’s bones. Even just the walk from the train station was hell on earth, standing out here is doing him no favours.

Turning away with a throat scraping cough, Tim manages to clear the congestion enough to finish the sentence somewhat understandably. A great feat, given how fast his voice is retreating. “May I remind you that I’m only here because you insisted.”

“Right, well I… I didn’t know how bad-” Martin begins, realizing spreading across his face like a wildfire as a chill leaves Tim breathless. “Oh god, I’m making you freeze to death while you’re already this sick, I’m so sorry, come in, I’ll go make you a tea.”

Tim nods his thanks as he piles inside the warm institute, cursing his aching lungs as each breath of warm air seems to burn them from the inside out. Martin rushes away, nearly crashing into a few researchers as he makes his frantic dash for the kitchen.

The scarf is reluctantly removed, a shudder running through Tim’s back as the warm air does nothing to soothe what he’s now certain is a growing fever. A few researchers wave to him, offering some idle chit-chat as he makes his way inside.

For the most part, people give him a wide berth, apparently he looks as bad as he feels. Tissues in hand, gripping them like a lifeline, Tim finds his way to a couch and lets himself sink into it. The party buzzes around him, fading into background noise.

Martin returns soon after, the mug vibrating slightly as he attempts to steady his hand. “I wasn’t sure what kind you’d want, we have a pretty limited amount, but I have a few extras in my desk– oh I could have probably found one for colds and flus, I’m not sure which this is, I thought cold before but you look-”

“Martin,” Tim interrupts, voice cutting uncomfortably through his raw throat. “Can I have the cup?”

“Oh, right, sorry!” Martin says, a sheepish grin crossing his face, nerves more than anything else, as he hands Tim the mug. Tim gives another appreciative nod, taking a cautious sip.

The warm liquid feels like heaven against his throat, and he barely manages to choke back a whimper. The flavour is still a mystery, Martin never actually got to that part. Given how little he can taste at the moment, seems it’s gonna remain that way. Still, the heat beginning to warm his chest is a welcome relief, and Tim has to fight to keep his eyes from drifting shut…

“Watch out!”

The voice rouses him, his eyes snapping open just in time to witness Jon dropping to his knees in front of the couch. The realization doesn’t sink in for another minute, Tim blinking the tired from his eyes and trying to figure out why people are staring… and why there’s a hand on his finge–

Oh, the tea. Thankfully Jon’s reflexes seemed to kick in just in time, his hands guiding Tim’s cup to the table next to him. Judgement clouds the boss's eyes as he turns back, fully ready to chastise Tim, no doubt. Jon opens his mouth, one hand beginning to point, but as his eyes scan Tim’s form, his demeanor changes instantly.

“You don’t seem well.” Jon’s voice is still firm, but with a hint of something Tim can’t quite place. On anyone else, he’d call it concern. On Jon… perhaps concern isn’t far off, though the underlying criticism of the statement irritates him.

“I wonder why that could be? It’s almost as if someone came to the Christmas party sick enough to fall asleep standing. Twice.” Tim says, sarcasm lining his words, alongside the congestion he can’t seem to fully shake.

“Well in that case,” Sasha chimes in, cheerful voice a natural antithesis to the misery coursing through Tim’s system. “Seems you’re halfway there!”

“Hey, I was lying down, that’s hardly the sahh… same thing– hH’ETchh!”

“Here we go,” Sasha says, already turning on her heel to find a tissue box as Tim’s hitches increase in desperation.

“aHTChh’ew! gn’tchhew!”

“Bless,” Jon offers, a brief confusion crossing his face as Sasha laughs, shaking her head.

“He’s not done,” She says, handing over the tissue box.

Tim grabs for it blindly, too caught up in the fit to even attempt dignity. Still, the eyes on him do leave him with a hint of embarrassment, and the onslaught is muffled as best he can manage. “hH’MMpshhew! eMPFShh’ieh! hh’MFSHhueh!”

Blessings sound out from the room, Tim managing to wave a hand towards the ones offering them, eyes still watering. As the fit seems to stall, he lowers his tissues, red nose now visibly twitching.

“Are you alright?” Jon asks, the hint of concern from before now plainly evident. That’s frankly more alarming than it should be, and Tim finds himself wanting to… reassure the boss.

“I’m okay, it’s juhh… j-just… huhh–” But it seems his nose has other plans, a tissue being raised once more as Tim paws at the appendage. “‘Scuhhse me, I still have… hahhve to… to… hiHh– eTCHh’ew! hk’ASCHh–oo!”

This time the tickle fades with the final pitchy sneeze, Tim letting out a low groan as he mashes his nose into the ever growing collection of tissues he’s clutching. A few people call out final blessings, Sasha laughing out hers as Tim’s face goes red once more.

Martin picks this time to enter the room with drinks, Tim letting his eyes flutter shut as the focus shifts off his misery. A gentle touch keeps him from drifting off to sleep, prying open an eye to find Sasha settling onto his left.

“Careful, don’t want to catch this,” Tim manages, leaning against his right shoulder to muffle another stream of chesty coughs. Sasha winces as it goes on past the realm of comfort, her hand finding his back.

“Don’t worry about me, I haven’t earned this cold, I didn’t make use of Jon’s or your suffering,” She says, the playful tone not masking the growing worry in her posture.

While she can read him like a book, she’s no mystery to him either. The tension in her fingers, absentmindedly stroking patterns on his back. The way she subconsciously tries to support his body weight, despite them both sitting. The look in her eyes when he manages to stall the coughing long enough to meet them.

With this brief respite from the attack, Sasha takes the chance to bring Tim’s tea back, his fingers wrapping around the warm mug. The first few sips burn, his lungs protesting, begging to return to their efforts to expel all the irritation. By the third, however, the warmth is spreading once more, easing the spasms.

“Alright?” Sasha asks, beginning to stand from the couch. Tim nods his reply, taking another slow sip. “Think you’ll make it till midnight? We’ve still got a few hours to go.”

He nods his approval again, not yet trusting his voice enough to make an attempt. Sasha simply smiles, easing back into the party that– Tim had almost forgotten existed. That fever must be worse than he thought, given how loud it is. A fact that’s now pounding against his head in harmony with his heartbeat.

The party continues on, Sasha and Martin taking turns checking in on Tim as he slips rapidly in and out of consciousness. Seconds turn to hours, and before he knows it, it’s two minutes to midnight.

As Tim blinks against the harsh fluorescent lighting, it’s Jon that stands before him, hand hovering near his side. Tim begins to speak, breaking off into a cough as his voice comes out rough with sleep and congestion.

“What’s up boss?” He manages with the second attempt, not missing Jon’s wince at the nasal quality.

“You simply look… well, the festivities are nearly over, I was just inquiring as to…” Jon seems to get stuck, eyes wandering down to the couch as he finishes. “I know you took the train here, I was seeing if you needed an escort home.”

“How kind, I’d be delighted to have your accompaniment,” Tim responds, the wit clouding the fact he… hadn’t actually considered needing to go home. Jon seems to take this answer as satisfactory, ignoring all the sarcasm as he gives a tight nod and an out of practice smile.

From across the room Martin calls out, something about a countdown. Tim attempts to pull himself to a stand, finding Sasha’s arm around his waist, guiding him to the wall. Leaning against it, he lets his rough voice join the chorus as they count into the new year.

Despite how the lights and noise had pounded into his skull, everyone chanting in unison helps Tim realize that… there actually aren’t that many people here. Aside from his coworkers, there’s only a few researchers, and Elias is not in attendance.

Honestly, thank whatever cosmic being may exist for that one, he had been none too fond of Jon’s arriving sick. Tim shudders to think what he would have said about this state. He shouldn’t have come, but… something about how insistent Martin was… well he just couldn’t disappoint that loveable idiot.

Somehow Tim finds he’s managed to keep up with the counting, despite being worlds away in his thoughts. As they approach the final numbers, a feathery sensation begins to spread through his nostrils- no.

Absolutely not, this is not the time. It’s never just one, there’s not enough people here, someone’s gonna notice. And I mean, it’s not like he’s hiding the fact he feels like death, but… drawing that much attention is also not the goal.

“Five! Four!”

“hiehh- h’ngTchh!” He manages to stifle the first, the congestion pounding in his head as the tickle seems to only get worse.

“Three! Two!”

“I cad’t– nNDtch! nGTCh’uh!”

“One–”

As the cheers begin to erupt, Tim ducks into the tissues with a scraping, “ehg’TCHhiew!”

“Happy new years!”

“yiEShh’iew! etchh’uh! hH’AESHH –oo!” Tim dips into his hands again, managing to sink down against the wall as he lets out a congested blow, ending the fit.

“What a way to ring in the new year,” Comes Sasha’s voice, her form blocking the light from Tim’s eyes as he looks up, fever blurring his vision.

“Shud ub.”

“Christ Tim, you sound awful,” Jon adds, his form appearing behind Sasha’s.

“Thagks boss,” Tim retorts, groaning as he notices a third form, Martin’s nervous fidgeting easy to spot even from this angle. Martin remains silent, though his eyes seem to hold more concern than any of them, and… guilt? Or maybe that’s just the delirium.

Glancing up to meet Sasha’s gaze, Tim offers a weary, “Tibe to go hobe?”

She nods softly, kneeling to help him to his feet, Martin wordlessly taking his other arm. Jon stands off to the side, hesitating. What for, who knows. All Tim can focus on is one step after the other, just gotta make it home, then he can sleep. For the rest of forever, at this rate.

As they get to the door, Martin helps wrap the scarf around Tim’s neck, forcing him to lift it from its perch against Sasha’s shoulder. Sasha, for her part, supports his weight with ease, she was always stronger than she looked.

Martin keeps casting glances towards Tim, obviously fretting over something. Too tired to manage his usual charm, Tim gives Martin the softest look he can manage. “Jusd say id, please. You’re makigg me nervous.”

“I’m so sorry I asked you to come, you’re obviously so unwell, and I know I didn’t really know that at the time, but I should have, or at least texted and checked in, I just… I wanted us all to get along so bad and I thought if you came it would mean more fun because you’re always so lively and good at talking to people and-”

Tim holds up a hand, eyes glazing over as Martin stops short, breath coming almost as rapidly as Tim’s. After a minute goes by, Martin starts to open his mouth, seeming confused by the interruption, before nearly jumping out of his skin as Tim ducks into his fist.

“eTCHh’ew! hH’YEAShh –iew! Sorry, I feld those cobigg… waid– hih’ETCHhew! heAYSHh’oo!” Tim ducks down again, Sasha grabbing him tighter to support the harsh shudders as he attempts to keep his balance.

“Oh bless you,” Martin offers, voice coming out timid. Tim gives him, what he hopes is, a warm smile despite the fever taking hold of the last corners of his mind.

“If I didn’t wanna cobe, I would have stayed hobe. I dod’t blame you.”

Martin nods silently, a relief seeming to flood his face. Taking his place once more supporting Tim, they move towards the exit. Opening the door, the first wave of cold floods the entryway, and a chill so violent runs through Tim that both Martin and Sasha take a step back to brace him.

It’s now that Jon speaks up, voice strained with a type of worry Tim hadn’t heard before. “No, we’re absolutely not doing this, I refuse.”

The trio turn towards him. Though perhaps a more accurate description is that Martin and Sasha turn, Tim simply goes along for the ride. Martin mumbles something about ‘no other choice’, but Sasha asks what Jon’s on about.

“It’s too cold out there, it’s the middle of the damn night, there’s no way I’m letting him go home like this.”

“And what do you suggest we do as an alternative? He can’t stay here-” Sasha begins, pausing as Jon turns towards her.

“Why not? I’m the archivist, this is my archive,” Jon begins, pausing for a moment, before adding, “Well, Elias’s, but I hardly think he’d suggest we send an employee home in this weather while they’re this sick. That’s just bad management, he’ll freeze to death before even reaching the train.”

As if to confirm this assumption, Tim shudders violently, ducking into his chest with a tired, “hh’eshhew! eTCHh’iew!” followed by a heavy sigh. Martin mumbles something about covering, but quickly silences himself as Tim begins to tremble again.

Sasha gives Jon a look, seeming to read him for any hints of doubt, perhaps searching for an ulterior motive. After a brief pause, their eyes meeting, she gives a tight nod, approval of some kind.

“Come on Martin, let’s get him back to that couch, he can sleep there for the night,” Sasha directs, Martin nodding his acceptance.

Tim manages to catch snippets of the conversation as they get him settled. Jon fetching him a blanket he keeps in his office. Martin providing some more tea. Sasha grabbing tissues and medication for when he wakes up. Something about Jon sleeping in his office so he’s not alone, and Sasha coming in early to help him home.

With his final bout of consciousness, Tim holds up a hand, the conversation immediately pausing. “Thagk you guys. And… esSHhh’ew! And, I’b sorry.”

All three stare at him for a minute, before Sasha breaks first. Her laughter fills the silence, Martin joining in soon after, and even Jon letting a few chuckles slip out. When they’ve finally collected themselves, Sasha gives Tim a warm smile.

“Sleep well, Tim. I’ll come fetch you in the morning.”

With a content sigh, Tim lets his eyes drift shut again, his consciousness fading to the soft hum of his friends in the background.

Alright, so maybe coddling isn’t quite so bad after all.

#waterfallwrites #the m/agnus a/rchives #was that my tag?? i think it was ahuguh #anyways i wrote this in a flurry of 'i need to do something about my hyperfixation' induced attention span #took many breaks but all in all took about 6ish hours (including the breaks)#and im kinda proud of myself for just! doing it!!#props to my friend for telling me to 'just write something with no pressure and let it be what it is'#so this is a drabble that turned into an actual fic bc i didnt! pressure myself!#if it sucks it sucks- if it doesnt it doesnt- whatever it is i made it and im gonna be happy with that #plus its t/ma which rn is just... SOOO it for me. i am so hyperfixated #and t/im is my beloved i love this man #and i may possibly try to write about j/ons version of this cold and maybe The Cherry Blossom Incident #but i actually have a different t/ma fic in the works so that one comes first <3 #anyways yes here you go!! i toss this into the void! and see if! anyone wants it!#t/ma #t/im s/toker

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stormyoceans · 2 years

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hi hello! do you know more bls setting in an office? or like bls with older protagonists than usual? thanks!

hello, anon!!

i do know a fair amount of BLs with older protagonists, even if 'old' in BL standard often means just late 20s or barely out of university, but at least we're actually getting more of them in these past couple of years. im not sure which ones you've already watched, so i just compiled everything into a masterlist. it's not a comprehensive one, because there are a lot of BLs i haven't watched yet, and i left out the ones currently airing, but hopefully you'll find something you haven't seen yet!!

(i also mention where you can watch the shows, but always remember these random letters that mean nothing at all: d r a m a c o o l)

OFFICE SETTING

be loved in house: i do [on Viki] – i LOVED the first half of this show, but it kinda fell flat for me in the second half, maybe because they put way too much focus on the ex, but it’s still a nice show and aaron and hank’s chemistry is great.

cherry magic [it's not available in my area but you can find it on WeTV or Crunchyroll] – japan does office setting SO WELL and this show will always be one of my favorite BLs.

history 4: close to you [on Viki] – would i personally recommend this show? not…. really……….. it wasn't really my thing tbh, but im trying to be fair and i do know some people who really like it, so im just gonna put it out there and let you decide. however, WARNINGS for the side pairing: step-brothers trope, obsession, VERY dubious consent.

old fashion cupcake [on Viki] – TALENTED. BRILLIANT. INCREDIBLE. AMAZING. SHOWSTOPPING. SPECTACULAR. NEVER THE SAME. TOTALLY UNIQUE.

plus & minus [on Viki] – there’s something off about this show that i can’t quite put my finger on. just like with be loved in house: i do, i really enjoyed the beginning of the show, but i feel like the second half simply wasn’t as good. still, it’s a nice show, and the chemistry between the leads is very good.

senpai, this can’t be love! [on Viki] – it’s not my favorite BL from japan, but i still found it pretty cute (i do have a massive crush on naito shuichiro, though, so i may be a little bit biased ;;;;)

there are also a couple of shows that have university as their main setting in the first season, and then move on to an office setting in the second, such as:

SOTUS S – haven't watched SOTUS in 4 years so my memories of the show are a bit fuzzy, especially for this second season, but i used to be incredibly fond of it

we best love: fighting mr. 2nd – i'd recommend both seasons of this show even just for the chemistry between sam and yu, which is out of this world

COUNTRYSIDE SETTING

a tale of thousand stars [on YouTube] – i have no idea why it took me so long to finally watch this because it's AMAZING, one of the best BLs i've ever seen.

sky in your heart [on YouTube] – this is actually part of the star & sky series, where the first installment has a university setting, but i don't think you necessarily have to watch star in my mind to understand sky in your heart. a lot of people disliked this show, but honestly? i've seen worse and i think the pairing was cute

CRIME GENRE

guess i have a weakness for this genre because all of these are MY MOST BELOVEDESTS so. i won't even pretend to not be biased about them.

history 3: trapped [on Viki]

kinnporsche [on iQIYI]

manner of death [on WeTV]

HOSPITAL SETTING

triage [it's on AIS Play, but since they hate international fans you can find it on our best friend /drama/cool/] – okay, so, TECHNICALLY one of the main characters and his friends are still in university, so there is that setting in the story, BUT!!! the show is so much more than that!!! there are hospital stuff, and crime stuff, and TIME LOOPS!!!!!!! so yeah, if it wasn’t clear, I LOVE THIS SHOW.

dear doctor, i’m coming for soul [on Youtube] – the show has its shortcomings but i am so fond of this one..

my ride [on GagaOOLala] – such a sweet and gentle show, it also features the best couple of older gay uncles which all BLs should have more of imho. i love this one dearly.

KITCHEN SETTING

to my star [on Viki] – i guess putting this under kitchen setting is a bit of a stretch, but since food was a big part of the show i thought it could fit here ;;;;;; i have yet to see to my star 2 because that’s not the kind of angst i enjoy, but season 1 is still one of my favorite BLs from korea.

what zabb man! [on YouTube] – THIS WAS A NICE SHOW OKAY. like, was it ridiculous at times? absolutely. did i still enjoy it? yes. yes, i did.

ocean likes me [on Viki] – i have no idea why so many people disliked this show so fiercely, but maybe im just biased towards han gi chan, holland, and pretty shots of the ocean.

bite me [on Viki] – this show was SO. SLOW. i personally finished it only out of stubborness, but yeah, still putting it out there.

craving you [on Viki] – there’s nothing particularly memorable about this show, imho, but since im doing a sort of masterlist it wouldn’t be fair to leave it out.

my sweet dear [on Viki] – not my favorite out of all the BLs from korea, but they’re so short there’s really no harm in watching it.

the tasty florida [on Viki] – same as above.

OTHERS

cupid's last wish [on Youtube] – i haven't watched this one yet because im not fond of the main trope, but i may cave in and watch it just for earthmix.

even sun [on Youtube] – would i recommend this show? no, it was a mess from beginning to end and had no real substance to it. did i still laugh my ass off every week and would personally rewatch it? yeah..

lovely writer [on Youtube] – technically one of the characters is still in university but the setting doesn't come up in the story. i feel like people either deeply dislike this show or really like it. i think it's nice honestly, but i should definitely rewatch it now that i know more about BLs.

the untamed [on Viki] – technically this is not a BL because of chinese censorship, but it is based on a BL novel and it still shows.

a lot of other korean BLs have grown up characters in them, like behind cut, first love again, nobelman ryu's wedding, oh! boarding house [all on Viki]

#if anyone has more recs feel free to drop them in the replies of this post!!#i feel like all the BLs i've watched are really common so im not sure if there's anything 'new' in this #but hopefully it can still be helpful #bl recommendation #thai bl #korean bl #japanese bl #taiwanese bl #bl series #m: ask

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penironi · 1 year

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sorry guys im gay vampire posting again but hear me out

what if nandermo’s happy ending is in both of them choosing mortality and growing old together??

consider this; guillermo’s plan throughout the entire series is to become a vampire, its showed that he had a fixation on vampires since child hood, plus being nandors familiar for 15 years (and leaving him multiple times for anyone who promises to turn him faster), then as a last ditch effort going to someone he knows will do it (derek). he is so dedicated to this that even despite finding out he is genetically a vampire hunter, knowing his family hates vampires and he might not be able to see them again if he turns (which we know is gonna be hard for him considering he seems to be relatevely close with them at least enough to put together a dinner party and to give them money the second he gets some) so if guillermo comes back to the house as a vamp nandor- who had been kinda been keeping guillermo there by hanging the prospect of becoming a vampire over him like a cat- is going to freak the fuck out for 2 reasons:

1. he wanted to be the one to turn guillermo, on his home soil (though he will probably never admit it again)

2. guillermo doesnt need anything from him anymore

im sure theres also a few other things that the vamps would have an issue with like “who the FUCK turned him" and “vampires never turn familiars especially ones that arent their own” (since it seems like familiar poaching and taking familiars from their masters for consumption or otherwise is pretty taboo) but i think that derek being the one to do it makes both of those kinda obsolete (it also seems like the vamps are a lot less dedicated to vampire culture rules after their whole council arc and killing vampires thing in s3). but whats probably gonna throw nandor for a loop is that guillermo is gonna come back. we all know he will weather its to pick up his things or say goodbye or decide he wants to stick around after all at some point he will and nandor will open the door and have the most horrified look when he finds out. nandor has been on the pursuit of love and happiness for as long as we’ve seen him. hes tired of immortal life and misses the thrill of living. you see this with the human camp thing, with trying to find a wife and deciding that was too hard to he used jinn magic to resurect his old wives but then that wasn’t good enough so he enchanted the shit out of his chosen zombie wife to make her a shell of her former self and then seeing how happy guillermo and freddie are decides to turn marwa into a clone of freddie? this man is desprate. its clear that nandor doesn’t enjoy the vampire lifestyle anymore, its boring sitting in the house all day and hunting at night, enter guilliermo- van halen vampire hunter, beat the shit out of you in a fight multiple times, never know if hes gonna be there the next day, de la cruz. guilliermo makes immortality exciting to nandor, but now that guillermo has no use for nandor anymore he probably will leave right? do everything he wants to now that he’s a vampire. nandor is freaking the fuck out and has (1) jinn wish left...

so every time this show has a path that i think “yeah that makes sense” the vampires tend to to the complete opposite path. nandor has a lack of understanding for other’s feelings but in recent seasons its gotten better, however it would still make perfect sense that nandor would use this wish incredibly selfishly- but hes gonna fuck up. It would make absolute sense for mr. the relentless to try and wish guillermo a human again so he could have him as a familiar and turn him the way he wanted to turn him but maybe hes going to wish for something a little less specific, maybe “i wish guillermo would stay and not leave” or something like that because this is the happiest hes seen guillermo! hes thriving as a vamp and its all hes wanted for as long as they’ve known eachother. Heres the thing, I think that the spell is going to make nandor a human- a human in need of a familiar.

hijinks ensue: guillermo (who actually had no idea what to do now that he is a vampire, the whole dedicating your life to getting something and now that you have it what is there to do?) decides to take nandor as a familliar and effectively switches roles with him (i think collin is indifferent, lazlo is amused, and nadja is just confused- plus vampire rules they dont wanna turn him since he’s TECHNICALLY a familliar + its really fucking funny). he promises to make nandor a vampire again and he fully intends on it- but hes gonna have some revenge labor first. something happens and guillermo has to save nandor AGAIN from something or other (maybe nandor, sick of guillermo treating him the way he treated guillermo, decides to reverse uno on him and leaves, maybe he goes out to find a vamp who remembers and will turn him but gets himself into trouble with some creatures who probably want to eat him)- and i think this might be where they realize they kinda need eachother. guillermo asks nandor if he wants to be turned back, and nandor really thinks about it. on one hand he misses being powerful as a vampire, having the strength and skill to defeat anyone and his coffin and such- but he also tried a cheezeburger for the first time! he ran from monsters, cooked and cleaned, felt his heart beat and his brow sweat and he felt alive! on the other hand, guillermo is realizing that being a vampire isnt all that he thought it would be. he misses food and the sun more than he thought he would, he misses his family who would try to kill him the first time he saw them. he thought he would see the world or find a community but the thing thats made him the happiest is showing nandor how to be a human. nandor refuses, or at least asks to wait a bit longer so he can try more things as a human- and guillermo agrees, promising to wait eternity for him.

sorry for the brain vomit hope this makes sense to somebody

#wwdits #nandermo #wwdits s5 #wwdits speculation #these gay vampires have a fucking chokehold on me i swear to god #i kinda just wanna see nandor try a cheeseburger idk i think he'd love it so much #what we do in the shadows

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skzluvs · 2 years

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Ice.cream 🍦; Hwang Hyunjin, part 1

Genre: Idol! hyunjin Angst, fluff?, unrequited love

Warnings: none as in this chapter

Word count: 1.9k

A/n: This was supposed to be made into just one long fic but I was struggling while writing it so I decided to make it into a series, to, let me know what you think of it so far!

“melts in a flash i cant pull myself together”

Hyunjin fell, he fell deep, when he least expected it, he fell with her touch, with the pretty sound of her voice, but he fell even more with her indifference with the way she seemed not to care about anyone in the world but herself, where she preferred loneliness over being surrounded by a group of people who barely knew anything about her but her name. He fell with all the flaws that he masked into conformity.

Hyunjin moved in a crowd and sometimes even for him it was too much to handle, he had a lot of friends and people who was cautious of every movement he made, that's the price he had to pay for the fame, it was a "fair" exchange, his privacy for the admiration of millions. But he didn't regretted it or at least thats what he said as he tried to convince his own self. Maybe only at nights when the moon shined through his curtains and the silence of the room embraced the atmosphere thats when he, for at least a second would wish deep in his heart things would be a little different. Believe it when he says he was happy doing what he loved the most, surrounded by the people he loved, he got it all. But a sudden regret, he would find himself longing for something more, and he truly didn't know what that was.

But he hoped to find it soon enough. Because the guilt was eating him alive. Not being completely satisfied with his current life was probably the biggest sin he would've ever commit.

Hyunjin had a day off, clear schedule for the first time in months, after the back to back concerts and events, he and all of the members deserved some rest. But hyunjin didn't know how to rest, and probably that was due to his high paced life style, or to his personality, maybe a little bit of both. So he though about all the things he wanted to do today, and none of them were staying home.

He had been wanting to go expand his literary horizons, nowadays he had found himself devouring multiple books, he found them so comforting. The way they travel him to different places. In every word and in every flip of a page his emotions overflowed.

The weather was perfect a bright sunny day, so he thought his plan on taking himself on a date wasn't too bad of an idea after all. Bookstore, coffee shop and walking the streets of Seoul with his headphones on, blasting his favorite tunes, he was ecstatic. Deciding not to waste anymore of his precious time he decided to leave right away.

"hey Felix im going out" he said to the boy who was immersed into his computer, too focus on his video game to pay attention to him.

"Have fun" he said goodbye without taking his eyes off the screen "damn it why is this domain so hard to clear off" he yelled to himself in frustration and hyunjin just laughed at his antics.

Hyunjin made sure to grab his bag with all his essentials, his wallet, his headphones and his charger. He put on his shoes at the door and closed it behind him as he was leaving the dorm.

Hyunjin walked the busy streets listening to some of his favorites songs, enjoying the warmth of a sunny summer day. Hyunjin wasn't specially fond of summer, he preferred the winter but lately he had began to fall in love with the memories summers had brought to him, and therefore with the season itself.

Once he arrived to the bookstore, it was an old bookstore, he could probably smell the rusty pages emanating from the inside all the way through the entrance and he couldn't contain his excitement any longer , scrutinizing the shelves, staring at every cover without missing each of the titles that were being displayed. Hyunjin was astonished at the extend variety of genres. He carefully took his time reading some of the synopsis and a couple first pages of some of the books that had caught his eye. The hours inside that bookstore felt like seconds to him. He was too immersed on this volume to not pay attention to the girl that was trying to talk to him. Her voice wasn’t uncertain it was cold and direct.

"hey, excuse me?"

Those words brought hyunjin from the vulnerable state he was in back to reality, and he would be lying if he didn't hoped that voice wasn't calling for him. He knew exacty what came next probably the usual, are you hyunjin from stray kids? And no he didn't mind meeting his fans outside schedules at all, actually he loved and appreciated them a lot, but today he wished for little peace. And maybe he hated himself a little bit more due to those thoughts.

His eyes went slowly from the page to the figure standing in front of him. Her gaze was piercing his soul, a strong aura that filled up the room, her clothes were nothing out of the ordinary but somehow they made her stand out a lot. She looked like those type of people who leave a strong impression. She probably felt uncomfortable by the way hyunjin was just standing there book in hand examining her like some sort of specimen. So she decided to speak again.

"Are you planning of buying that book" she asked with no hesitation pointing at his hands, that unconsciously were gripping at the hard cover tightly.

He was incredibly confused, but exhaled in relief at the fact the girl wasn't here for an autograph nor a photo she just wanted the book. And hyunjin laughed a little bit inside, thinking how silly it was for him to think so highly of himself at moments like this. Of course not everyone cares about you hwang hyunjin he said to himself.

"I'm not sure yet i was giving it a read as i was considering it" he replied calmly.

"I'm kinda in a rush and honestly i came all the way here just for that book, so trust me when i say im not leaving without it" she firmly stated, furrowing her brows slightly. He assumed it was probably the only edition left, since it looked like and out of print.

Hyunjin thought the situation was slightly amusing, because it was just a book, and the girl was throwing a ruckus as if she would die because of it. But as much as his curiosity irked him, he couldn't argue with her for multiple reasons, the most obvious one is that if he wanted to continue his day off in peace he couldn't attract unnecessary attention to himself, and second he didn't knew much about the book so he couldn't judge her urgency so he just decided to let go of it and hand it carefully to the girl who seemed to try her best to contain her last straw of patience as she waited.

She grabbed it and walked away from him, not even a thank you, nor a glance, she directed her tracks straight to the counter, and as she paid for the book, hyunjin continued to observe her from the other side of the room, where his body hadn't moved an inch.

He didn’t know what made him so intrigued, most likely the girl’s particular way of acting, something completely different to the reactions he was used to getting from people. Something about that indifference made him wonder for a second if he just looked like an ordinary boy to her. Which made him relived because he could carry on his day as he had planned.

After browsing through the aisles for a little longer, hyunjin bought few books and made his way to the cafe. The place was rather cozy with a warming atmosphere the decorations were rustic but very on trend, there was a mixture of fake and real plants all around the establishment which made it really peaceful. Hyunjin ordered his usual ice americano paired up with a chocolate croffle, the perfect bittersweet combination. He sat close to the window and made himself comfortable as he took a sip from his drink and opened one of the books he had just picked up earlier.

The evening went by as hyunjin immersed himself in the delight of his dessert and the word of “someone who will love you in all your damaged glory” the hours went by so fast that he didn’t realize that it had started raining outside. And not the usual drizzle it was absolutely pouring, as if the sky was falling the thunderstorm grew bigger by every second.

Despite liking the rain the situation itself was pretty bad news to him.

Hyunjin panicked, he had to go home now and to make it even worse he hadn’t even brought an umbrella with him that day because the weather was perfect, until now, of course. He didn’t know what to do. Should he call Chan and tell him he was stuck in the city? or should he try to run to make it to the bus stop. He chose the later because he truly didn’t want to bother his members on their day off. It wasn’t something that was granted to them very often, he knew they deserved to rest. Hyunjin had brought this upon himself, he had to fix this himself.

As soon as he exited the shop he met the storm, the water drops showering him from the top of his cap to the bottom of his sneakers. He ran as fast as he could trying to cover himself with his bag. Once he made it safely to the bus stop he was already drench. He boarded the bus and hoped to dry himself as soon as he arrived home.

He got home safely, as he heard the nagging of his members for staying out too late, they were worried about him. And as for his dripping state, they made him wipe the floor. Hyunjin took a warm bath and changed into comfy clothes. Laid in bed as fell into a deep slumber. It had been an interesting but eventful day, he was exhausted.

Hyunjin was standing in a alleyway and his vision was impaired by the darkness, as he tried to make this way out of that place, the sorrowful cries of someone startled him he followed the cries all the way to the end and there was no exit because he had reached a dead end. And suddenly a small light appeared straight ahead where he thought he had reached the blocked wall. So he kept walking as the light grew bigger to the source. The light emanated from a silver lighter that opened and closed, half a cigarette and the girl who held it in between her lips as she continued to manipulate the lighter with her fingers, as hyunjin approached her, everything became clearer. The details on her face, the dry tears on her cheeks, the lines in her forehead from frowning, the sickening smell from the burning cigarette and the defeated look in her eyes. The sight was devastating and hyunjin couldn’t pinpoint the feeling in that moment, it was like his heart was being ripped out. The girl who’s name he didn’t know yet looked so broken in front of him, a total opposite from the first impression he had gotten out her at the library. Hyunjin tried to get closer to hold her but as he tried to grab her hand to ask her what was troubling her the figure disappeared before his eyes, like a magic trick she was long gone. Vanishing into thin air.

“You cant grasp onto something that doesn’t exist”

#hwang hyunjin #han jisung #kim seungmin #bang chan #lee felix #stray kids imagines #stray kids fic #hyunjin fics #hyunjin au #stray kids #yang jeongin #seo changbin #lee minho #hyunjin fic #hwang hyunjin imagines #hyunjin is art #hyunjin imagines

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lostmotherhood · 2 years

Text

I don’t dream of a career anymore… or some sort of vocation…

Slowly over the course of my life I stopped dreaming… the last I can recall I wanted to be an author in high school. I wrote a few books technically speaking. (Lost about half of them in the last 17 odd years.) Wrote a bunch of poetry too, something like 200 pages worth. My favorite class was English, didn’t overly care for my teacher but enjoyed the class. Enjoyed it in the one semester of college I completed, too. I love writing and reading. Have for a long time. I don’t do them very much anymore, not surprised though.

Im not really sure why. Or why I lost the dream of being an author. I mean, I remember as a little kid having fleeting moments of dream jobs. Ice skating is one of the few I can recall. Writing was the only thing that stuck for any period of time. But I never truly pursued it, or anything else really.

I did gymnastics around 4, that didn’t last long. Vaguely remember being deathly afraid of the bars, no confidence that I could do any of it. I bowled with mom around the same time, only one season from what I can tell. Basketball and track in fourth grade. Violin in fifth grade, that I wanted to be able to fiddle, but when explained what I’d have to do with my fingers I didn’t even try. Just gave up and told myself I couldn’t do it. Sixth and seventh grade I played field hockey, ended up the goalie. From what I can remember I enjoyed it. Loads of gear to protect my ass, smallish goal to cover, more defense. I had a decent coach too, which helped it carry over two years. But that fell off too. I’ve told myself it was because of how clique-y teenage girls were. I’d guess it was more that I lacked self confidence to hold my own in a group. That was the last sport or instrument I did.

Pretty clear pattern of lack of self confidence and self esteem. Writing, just as a hobby, low standards and low pressure. Perfect, but that didn’t go anywhere either. I also wonder if that really was a dream, or did I fall into it because it’s a single person activity and didn’t create external pressure for me. I’ve been complimented in the past on my writing skill, nothing out of this world, but compliments none the less. So I have some talent with it at least.

Some days, I wonder what would have become of me if I had just had different parents raising me. No genetic difference, only the environment and parents. Is it really worth it to wonder though? Time wasted on something that can’t be changed? I suppose it could be a possible story line… LOL!

Hopefully, getting this down will help me process somewhere in my subconscious. I’m really tired of all these parts not being on the same page, or even in the same country… a little harmony here and there would be awesome. 💜

#personal diary #self reflection #my childhood

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margolovescoffeeandbooks · 11 months

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i totally get that! the fresh fruits are amazing! summer is my least favourite season lol 😭 it’s a love hate relationship because of the fact that you get a long holiday and just be free, but at the same time the heat is atrocious and i just sweat all day. which sucks because i have a condition where my hands sweat an abnormal amount — so there just wet all day lol. anyways! i do love the freedom and the thunderstorms and the time to go on adventures!

yeah, for sure. it’s really hard to keep contact with someone when they’re far away. calling/facetiming is great but being in person with them is so special.

ooh that’s awesome! law is a super interesting field, i feel like there’s a lot of different paths you could go on. do you have a particular field / area you’re interested in? i hope this doesn’t sound weird but i feel like law suits you!

i remember watching legally blonde as a kid and wanting to be just like elle woods and then i actually learned what law entailed and i was like no thanks😭 it’s super interesting and an amazing area of study but it’s definitely not for me

i’ve been thinking about it! :D i was hoping to go into the publishing field! but honestly im trying to keep an open mind. working on any creative field would be awesome! im going to see what i really enjoy when i study and hopefully ill get a better idea then

THE CLIFF HANGER WAS THE WORST 😭 people started shouting in my cinema too, everyone was pissed lol. i honestly understand why they did it though. they really have so many character arcs going and plot points, it would’ve felt rushed if they concluded things in this film, for me at least. the film was incredible though! i loved seeing so many spider people! HOBIE IS AMAZING. i don’t think one person who’s seen the film has not fallen in love with him. he’s so cool. and the fact that his character took 2-3 years to figure out how to animate?? it’s so wild!!! all the animators are so talented. im really excited for the next one!!

personally, i don't mind the heat that much. i'm a warm weather lover. i adore when it's sunny, when the sky is clear and it's green everywhere. i hate winter. of course, snow is magical and all, but when the cold lasts too long, it just get obnoxious. plus, i'm always at my worst mentally when the weather is bad. that sucks! sweat is definitely a minus of summer. yes! summer thunderstorms are the best! i love going on a walk after one, the air is so nice then.

yes! and it's been the most busy year for my brother so we didn't talk as much as we used to. i really can't wait to see him!

it is! i think that's what appeals to me the most, that it offers a lot of possibilites. i'm not completely sure yet. i don't even know if i'd want to be an advocate or more of a legal advisor. i still need time to think about this. it doesn't! don't worry! actually, i'm glad to hear that! i'm in such a crisis that when i'm grateful when somebody tells me some job suits me.

i loved this film as a kid! i still do, to be honest. but yeah, i wouldn't call it a realistic portrayl of being an attorney either.

publishing field is so interesting! i've been fixated on working as a book translator for years. only this summer i'm starting to consider different paths. yeah! this course seems to cover a lot of different fields, books, films, etc. you're going to have broad knowledge and a lot of options after graduating!

yeah, you're right, but i still think they could've handled it a bit better. for me, it felt like it was cut in a half. but i still loved it! i came out of the cinema cursing, but no regrets! i'd do it again. I ADORE HOBIE! i love his vibes and sense of humor, everything about him, to be fair. i know a few ;( my friends didn't like him. they said he was irritating. i don't get them.... yeah, the animation was impressive. it's just sad that it took so much sacrifice and pain for the artists. i wish it didn't. i'm glad they rescheduled the next film. maybe this time working conditions will be better.

#asks #beloved mutuals

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ryukspisswhore · 3 years

Text

thinking abt titan eren tongue fucking the life out of you ❤︎

wc: 1.1k

tw: monsterfucking. gn!reader, humiliation, use of the term slut, breeding, manga/anime spoilers (season 4)

◇─────◇

There’s no other reason beside the thrill and pleasure you’ve sought after for years as you sit in the palm of the large humanoid creature. Eren’s teal-green eyes were still so human-like as they peered down at your much smaller frame.

In the palm of the attack titan’s hand, you felt like an ant. Though this had become the norm, seeing huge titans all over, you’d grown to feel small. But for these next few minutes, that was the last thing on your mind.

You’re not in the middle of nowhere. Oh no. You’d asked him for a bit of privacy at least, but he just shook his head, his pants tight at the thought of you wanting him to tongue-fuck you in his titan form.

“Might as well give everyone a little show. You that much ‘ova slut for me?” Eren’s words before he transforms are vulgar, knowing it just makes you ten times hornier. He’d fucked you so many times he’d lost count.

You’d escaped with him over to Marley, and he couldn’t count the amount of times you’d fucked him in that slutty little nurse outfit. Prancing around acting like you were some certified nurse when in actuality, you were just his little cocksleeve, feigning that innocence around others, but letting him rearrange your insides every time you walked into his room.

The attack titan couldn’t contain himself. Underneath that huge frame, Eren sat inside, his cock begging to be used. While he couldn’t do anything, you certainly could.

You knew people would be curious as to why Eren was just in his titan form, lounging out in one of the many fields.

Passerby’s stared as the titan held you in his palm. Wondering why it was huffing and mewling.

You began to play with yourself, exposing your hole to the creature. His eyes lit up with the same lust you’d ignited in Eren Yeager himself. He was excited. Your hands moved down to your sex, using all the tricks you’d learned, the ones that drove Eren crazy.

The one where you’d spread your hole open with your fingers and beg him to fill you up, and knowing he couldn’t, it was torture. If it wouldn’t rip you apart, one of his fingers would’ve pushed inside your tight little hole and shut you up.

You were teasing him. Telling him how much you wanted his cock. Eren couldn’t take it. He was supposed to be in control. That’s what you’d told him you wanted.

You wanted him to tongue fuck you. In his titan form. That big wet appendage ravaging your hole and sex until you were crying out and causing people to wonder if Eren was actually eating someone.

Eren’s tongue darted out, his large thumb forcing your legs open, pining one down against the palm of his hand as his tongue swiped across your lower half like it was nothing.

It was huge, and wet, and warm, and absolutely fucking ruthless.

It took what it want, like it had a mind of it’s own. Your essence spilled down your thighs as did his ‘saliva.’ You didn’t know if it could even be called spit.

His tongue prodded at your hole, forcing the tip in. It pushed your walls apart. It had force and vigor, and you felt like you were being split open. Even Eren’s cock wasn’t this huge. It burned, a familiar pain you recognized the first few times you ever had sex with Eren. The familiarity of being stretched beyond your limits.

“Eren!” You cried, your throat dry as your hands clawed at the skin of the creature’s palm, his still human eyes staring at you, a devilish smile formed of his teeth. He was turned on.

Using his free hand, he pushed your legs apart with such ease, it felt like you were nothing but a mere piece of meat in his hand. Spreading you like butter, he forced you up to his mouth, the wet appendage ripping through your hole, forcing you to cum all over it.

Your juices flowed down your thighs, spilling and pooling in his hand. It was far too much for you too handle, but you enjoyed it. The sick thrill of knowing people were witnessing Eren doing this to someone, to some ‘unlucky soul.’

His tongue fondled your sex and slid over your hardened nipples, soaking through the white material of your shirt, making them peak through as if you weren’t wearing a shirt at all.

Meanwhile, your hands began to race back down toward your sex, trying to get yourself off as he toyed with you elsewhere.

It was agonizing pain as his tongue merely swatted them away, watching as you cried out for another release, begging him to let you cum again.

“Just wanna cum.” You mewled, bucking your hips against his tongue, the bumpy and rigid feeling of what you could only assume were taste buds, stimulated you more than you could imagine, each ridge sliding over your sex and driving you crazy as you screamed for him to keep going.

Eren loved hearing you scream. It fulfilled his sick desires. Finally letting you cum all over his titan tongue again, he was satisfied, he was ready to ravage you on his own accord.

When you felt the titan stop, you lifted your head to see Eren standing on the shoulder of his titan. Getting down from the height was beyond you, because all you could think about was how you were face down in the dirt, Eren’s cock pounding into you.

“‘s too much! Cum- cumming!” You mewled, gripping nothing in your palms. Eren huffed letting his cum spill into you as you clenched around him. People had cleared the area once they caught a glimpse of Eren’s titan.

But that didn’t matter, fucking orgasm after orgasm into you, Eren didn’t stop when you pleaded that it was too much. Watching as his cum practically poured out of you with every thrust.

But finally, after your throat was dry and hoarse, and Eren had given you all he could, he pulled out and slammed your legs closed, forcing you to keep all of his cum inside of you.

“Spill any and I’ll just fill you right back up, slut.” Eren pulled his pants back up, buckling his belt back over his waist. You fumbled with your own clothes, your hands barely moving as you tried to come down from your high.

“Get back to work. I’ll see you in my room tonight. Better make sure you stay full of my cum you dirty slut or you’ll be punished.”

◇─────◇

this was pent up inside of me for far too long, im a monsterfucker sorry.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕯𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍 𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊

#cw. monsterfucking #cw. breeding #eren yeager #eren #yeager #eren yeager x reader #eren x reader #titan eren #titan eren yeager #titan eren x reader #titan eren yeager x reader

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azucanela · 4 years

Text

THIS DIDN’T HAPPEN | TSUKISHIMA KEI

HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: Tsukishima Kei would never admit that he happens to like receiving affection quite a bit, only from Y/N L/N of course, and only if no one ever finds out about it.

WORD COUNT: 2.5k

WARNINGS: honestly i think this is cute, but theres some angst oops, pining, unedited, kissing, kinda sad if you can read between the lines, season three spoilers

A/N: tsukki lovers come get your juice. also if you can’t tell im in the mood for haikyuu!! and tsukki so... rip the wips and requests i said i’d get done but it’ll happen eventually

“Can I hug you?”

How did he end up here? A fantastic question that he cannot find the answer for as he looks down at Y/N, who’d insisted he walk her to the girl’s dorm. He probably should’ve predicted that she’d ask about his sudden change of pace, but Tsukishima doubted he ever would’ve predicted she’d ask to hug him. Especially since he definitely hadn’t been the nicest to her.

“This didn’t happen.”

That’s all Tsukishima says as he awkwardly winds his arms arounds Y/N’s form. She hums in response, and Y/N has a feeling if he could see the grin on her face he’d pull away almost immediately. Which is why she’d buried her face in his chest, arms around his body as they stand just outside dorms they’ve been residing in during their stay at the training camp alongside the other teams.

Tsukishima doesn’t know why he agreed to this. He’s not sure he wants to as he feels Y/N’s breath against his chest, causing his cheeks to warm. During the walk she’d confronted him and he’d— for some reason — told her that he didn’t intend to get left behind Hinata and Kageyama; who’d improved quite a bit it appeared. Even if Volleyball meant absolutely nothing to him.

And then she asked to hug him. Y/N just had a feeling he could use one, though, if she was honest, Y/N had expected a hard no. She’d expected him to criticize her for asking such a childish question, she’d expected teasing and cruel remarks about how ridiculous the idea was. Tsukishima had never been affectionate, or at least openly affectionate. He was never involved in team hugs, hugs in general, not even a simple fist bump from Tanaka.

And yet here he was, agreeing to a hug from Y/N L/N, one of the new managers of the Karasuno Volleyball Club.

“This didn’t happen.” Came her response, her words of agreement were muffled against Tsukishima’s chest, but he’d heard her. They had an understanding.

And he’d never admit it, but it was nice. Hugging someone. Holding someone in his arms. Tsukishima hadn’t actually accepted affection in a while, maybe it was because one of the only people he’d been close with in his life— the one person he looked up to — ended up being a liar. Maybe its because a small part of him wanted to maintain his reputation as a coldhearted jerk, or maybe its because he just hadn’t found someone’s affection he enjoyed.

Until now, of course. There was something different about having Y/N in his arms, something comforting about her presence that made him feel compelled to answer the questions she asked as she pried about his sudden change in attitude. It’s not like they were close, though he tolerated her when she’d simply started coming to club meeting; apparently she’d known Tanaka from middle school, and decided to visit him at the club, until one day it became a daily thing. They ended up giving her the title of manager after she to work alongside Kiyoko. Y/N had even helped tutor those idiots, Kageyama and Hinata, something Tsukishima somehow got roped into. After that, he had a newfound respect for the girl.

It wasn’t that he liked her. He would never like Y/N. She just helped manage the club, and Volleyball was just a sport. Besides, they’d never be that close again, never hug again, never exchange any affection at all, ever again.

He broke that promise fairly quickly.

Yamaguchi had insisted that he and Tsukishima start joining the rest of the team on their walk home, mentioning how they could stop by Ukai’s convenience store and pick up some food if they so pleased. And maybe that was what convinced him— though Yamaguchi had a feeling the mention of Y/N’s name had a little bit of influence on the decision as well — maybe not.

It didn’t take long for Tsukishima to realize that as everyone slowly branched off into their respective neighborhoods, Y/N had yet to do the same. Apparently she lived the farthest from Karasuno of the bunch, which is why Tanaka had tried to offer to walk her home.

She’d rejected the idea entirely, seeing as he’d have to walk back home in the dark by the time she’d gotten to her home. The idea didn’t sit right with Y/N, so Tanaka had left Yamaguchi, Tsukishima and Y/N on their own.

Y/N didn’t miss the look Yamaguchi gave Tsukishima as he remained by her side, tilting her head in confusion and the blonde waved his friend off and continued walking alongside Y/N. She decided it was best not to question it, they were already a questionable pair of friends and Y/N wouldn’t be shocked if they had some sort of secret code they communicated through.

When she suggested this of course, Tsukishima called her an idiot.

“That’s not very nice, Tsukki.”

If Tsukishima was honest he should’ve kept walking alongside Yamaguchi a while ago, and yet here he was, alongside Y/N. He was pretty grateful she had yet to mention it, especially since he didn’t really favor lying, and he didn’t really have an explanation as to why he decided to walk her home.

It just felt right.

“Well it’s a stupid idea.” Came his response, nose scrunching up at the nickname. Only Yamaguchi called him that, not that he had a problem with Y/N using the nickname as well.

Y/N raised a brow, “I don’t think so, you’re smart enough to make a secret code or something.” A smile found its way onto her face as she looked over to him, playfully bumping into his side as she continued, “you probably use it to write about conspiracy theories or something.”

“I’m not a conspiracy theorist, Y/N.” He side eyes the girl, scoffing at her words as he pushes his glasses up on the bridge of his nose in an attempt to distract from the warmth that flooded his chest.

Y/N hummed in reply, looking to him as she asked, “so you don’t believe that lizard people run society?”

Tsukishima’s brows furrowed as he looked to her incredulously, “absolutely not.”

“Sounds like something a lizard person would say.” Came her reply, a grin on her face as she came to a stop, likely in front of her home.

“Did you just suggest that I’m a lizard person?”

“Maybe.”

There was no way he liked Y/N L/N. In that moment, he made another promise to himself, Tsukishima Kei swore he would never like Y/N L/N, someone who was apparently a lizard person fanatic and insisted that he was a conspiracy theorist.

A silence encompasses the two as Y/N looks up at him curiously, eyes falling over his face as a small hum leaves her lips. Tsukishima doesn’t know why exactly he lets it happen, why he lets her gently grab his chin, bringing him close to press a kiss to his cheek, “thanks for walking me home, Tsukki.” When she releases his face, she turns on her heel, heading toward her door, but not before saying, “try not to get home too late, and text Yamaguchi— he’s probably worried about you.”

Okay, so maybe he would break this promise faster than last time.

“This didn’t happen.” He manages to call out to her, watching as she makes her way down the cobblestone path to her front door.

Y/N looks over her shoulder, a smirk on her face as she offers him a wave, “this didn’t happen!” She called back in agreement, stepping inside her home and shutting the door behind him.

A lot faster than last time.

He has no idea why he didn’t stop her the first time, when she asked. And he doesn’t know why he didn’t stop her now, or the next time, or the time after that. Tsukishima probably should’ve known better, he should’ve stopped indulging himself with her presence.

And yet sitting on his bed, lying on his side watching her, he knows there was no stopping this. Y/N is smirking, clearly noticing his gaze on her as she continues to silently read from her textbook, writing things down into her notebook on occasion. He almost gets frustrated at the sight, brows furrowing before he returns his eyes to his own textbook

Tsukishima probably would’ve finished a while ago had it not been for her, it’s not that Y/N had done anything, but her presence only served as a distraction at this point, leaving Tsukishima wondering just why he invited her. He can’t remember the reasoning behind his actions, but he has a feeling it wasn’t worth the lack of productivity that came with her visit.

“Have you done anything?”

As much as Tsukishima admired how observant Y/N was, he currently despised this trait of hers as he slammed the textbook shut, “yes.” It was a lie, Tsukishima had never been so unproductive in his life, and he hated it. He hated everything about this stupid project, especially the fact that she was his partner.

A laugh escaped her, earning a glare from Tsukishima, “you’re so scary.” She says, though its clear she’s teasing him as she comes to pat his cheek condescendingly, accompanied by a mocking tone and an annoying smirk.

“Whatever.” He grumbles, tossing the textbook off the bed before falling back against his bed.

Y/N hums, eyes falling over his figure as she nods to herself. “I see.”

Tsukishima scoffs at her words, lifting his head up to meet her gaze with a glare, “see what?”

Her grin only widens at his words as she shuts her own textbook, placing it on the nightstand beside her alongside her notebook before allowing herself to collapse into Tsukishima’s pillows. “You’re grumpy—” She turns to her side, lifting her arm up, “because you want a hug.”

Tsukishima looks at her incredulously, rolling his eyes as he brings his hands to his face, causing Y/N to lower her arm as she pouts. “You’re stupid.” He mumbles, watching her push up onto her elbows.

“And you’re a touch-starved grump.” Comes her reply, prying his hands form his forehead to gently remove his glasses, reaching over him to place it on the other nightstand before returning to her side of the bed. She lifts her arm once more, looking to Tsukishima expectantly.

He inhales deeply, looking away in an attempt to maintain some of his pride when he feels his cheeks redden. “We have work to do.”

“The project isn’t due for another two weeks, Kei.”

Tsukishima finds himself trying to glare at her, though it fails when he realizes she’s said his first name and he can’t bring himself to be upset anymore, simply saying, “this didn’t happen.” Before his arms come around her waist, Y/N’s arm that was once hovering above her now wrapped around his neck as she pulled him closer. Her other hand coming to tangle her fingers in his hair.

“This didn’t happen.” She repeated.

That day, he promises that the next time they meet, they’re actually going to get work done. He breaks this promise too, quickly realizing that this is a theme whenever the promises are related to Y/N.

Tsukishima doesn’t really realize that he’s in too deep until the day his lips crash against hers and he finds himself whispering those damned words once more, “this didn’t happen.” His hands running down her sides as he tries to pull her closer because whenever he’s around her that cold that plagues him day and night seems to fade, replaced the warmth she seems radiate as though she’s the sun.

He hates that he compares her to the sun, he hates that she’s become something he needs, a presence he craves, because Y/N L/N was meant to be nobody and now she seems to be one of the most important people in his life. He hates that she understands him, that she can read his every move better than he can, that she knows what he needs before he even says it.

He doesn’t realize he’s in too deep until he’s promising himself not to fall in love.

Because for the first time in a while, Tsukishima Kei wants nothing more than to touch, he wants to feel, even though he’s filled with fear of the unknown, fear of the feelings he so desperately wanted to avoid. For once in his life, he wants to let go, because he finally feels comfortable enough to do so.

This time all she says is, “I know.”

Because Y/N knows that falling for Tsukishima was a mistake, a big one. She’s well aware of the fact that the boy is emotionally unavailable and renowned for his rude attitude and crude remarks. She knows that even if they have these silent moments together, even if she’s held him in her arms at night, even if they’ve been closer than she’s even been with anyone else, this basically means nothing. Because its not like either of them would ever do anything about the fact that the few words they did share in moments like these, weren’t ones of denial that the moments didn’t happen, but something else entirely at this point.

Confessions in their own right.

But she knows that all she’ll ever be, is something that didn’t happen. Not a story of his first love, not the girl he talks about with his friends, not the one he thinks about, the one he saw in everyday life. She was nobody, because she didn’t happen.

She doesn’t know that she’s wrong. Very wrong. That Tsukishima spoke fondly of her— honestly, Yamaguchi loves Y/N, he really does, but he’d getting a bit tired of hearing about how the mundane things she does that Tsukishima happens to notice. That he thought of her frequently, that the smell of coffee reminded him of her now, that the sight of the sunset she fawned over every time they walked home together only served as a reminder of her.

It’s not until he’s crying out in victory because they beat Shiratorizawa, Karasuno won, he won. It’s not until he’s so overwhelmed with emotion that he finds his legs moving on their own, towards Y/N; who stands beside Ukai and Takeda, the pair had taken to screaming at each other in the midst of their excitement. It’s not until his hands are on her face, bringing her into a kiss, much to her surprise, that he realizes what exactly the warmth was.

“This didn’t happen?” She asks, trying her hardest to ignore the stares of the team—though many of them are still caught up in their own celebration— as she looks to him.

Tsukishima simply grins, “I didn’t say that.”

A/N: kei is my favorite person to write for and i cannot explain why and this has not been edited so oops

tags: @beifongsss @shawkneecaps @iwaizoom @therainroguefanfiction

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pucksnsticksnhockeyboys · 3 years

Text

there for you

summary: your best friend Bowen can’t help but draw some connections between you and your favorite show.

word count: 2k

warnings: heavy spoilers for New Girl. like, its basically the premise of the fic

note from the writer: here’s a link to a tweet with the scene im talking about in this fic, its from the episode “Oregon” (season 4 ep 16). shoutout to @bqstqnbruin for finding it for me

Bowen had long since stopped asking to come over before showing up on your doorstep. Usually, he’d send a ‘are you home?’ text to make sure you were around, before heading to your apartment for whatever reason he had in mind.

The latest text had come in twenty minutes ago, so you knew he was going to show up soon.

Like clockwork, you heard a knock on your front door and Bowen greeting your roommates before your bedroom door opened. He was grinning, wide as ever, and you opened your arms for a hug from your position laying in bed, under the covers and in the middle of a New Girl marathon.

“Scoot over.” Bowen grins, barely giving you enough time to react before dropping on top of you, arms wrapped around your middle and his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck. You paused the show, not wanting to miss anything despite being on your third rewatch.

You wondered if he could feel how fast your heart was beating. If he knew just how much his touch affected you, how many feelings you were harboring from him.

“What’s up?” You asked, pushing away any thoughts about your massive crush on your best friend as you tried to get to the bottom of why he showed up out of the blue. It wasn’t the first time he had done so, but he always had a reason.

“I wanted to see you. Practice was rough.” He mumbled in the crook of your neck. Your heart skipped a beat at his words, how they fell past his lips so easily. Those words made you think that maybe your feelings weren’t so one sided, that there was a chance for you to be even happier than you already were with your best friend.

“You’re going to make me blush.” You teased, downplaying the fact that he really did manage to fluster you. Bowen snorted, squeezing you tightly once more instead of responding to your comment. An easy moment of silence passed, one that wasn’t stifling or awkward and it reminded you once more just how much you enjoyed being around Bowen. Subconsciously, one of your hands threaded through his hair. “I like it when your hair is longer like this.”

Your words were punctuated by a tug on his roots and though he didn’t say anything, he hummed contentedly. You worried that maybe he’d be able to hear the hammering of your heart or he’d know that the smile on your face wasn’t because of your platonic love for him. You feared that he would know—know how much you loved him and know that you had been hiding your feelings for so long. But you couldn’t let yourself think too much about that, you couldn’t let yourself overthink and ruin one of your closest friendships, so you tactfully changed the subject.

“Are we napping or watching my show?” You asked, though you had a pretty good idea what his answer would be.

“Nap, please.” He mumbled, and you could never deny him, especially when he was acting so sleepy and adorable, so you agreed easily. You both shifted your positions slightly, you trying to find the comfiest spot and him climbing under the covers with you, but eventually you both melted into your mattress, Bowen’s head still buried in the crook of your neck.

Bowen tried to stay awake a little longer; to tell you about his morning and the practice he had just come from that had drained his energy completely. But before long, his words were slurring together and when he stopped mid sentence, you knew he had fallen asleep with his arms wrapped around you and your fingers carding through his hair.

You tried to stay up too, to relish in the feeling of being in his arms. But you knew that pretending like it meant something more than it did was only going to break your heart more, so soon after he dozed off you closed your eyes and followed suit.

You were the first one to wake up, a combinatin of Bowen’s weight on you becoming slightly uncomfortable and the need to use the bathroom, so you did your best to climb out from underneath him without waking him. You thought you had made it out clear, but the moment your feet hit the floor Bowen was stirring from behind you.

“Where are you going?” He mumbled, causing you to halt your movements. It was far from the first time you had heard his gravelly voice just after he woke up, but it never failed to make your heart race. You swore you could listen to him talk forever, which was a good thing, since he never seemed to be able to stop talking.

“Bathroom. I’ll be right back.” You told him, finally standing to your feet. When you turned back around, Bowen was already watching you with tired eyes that made your heart clench. God, you were so gone for him.

You slipped out of the room without saying anything more, not trusting yourself to not blurt out just exactly how his smile made you feel. When you returned, he was sitting up against your headboard, your laptop open on his lap as he queued up the episode you had been watching before he arrived.

“New Girl again?” Bowen teased when he spotted you enter the room. You playfully rolled your eyes at him, climbing back into your spot beside him on the bed. You mirrored his position, though you dropped your head against his shoulder.

“It’s a good show. Plus, Jess and Nick’s relationship is my favorite.” You told him decidedly, like you had a dozen times before. The relationship between Jess and Nick truly was somehting you strived for—friends that were always in love with each other, no matter the problems that arised and even when they were broken up they did their best to keep the other happy.

“Fair enough.” He chuckled, shifting slightly so that his arm was around you and he could hold you closer to his side. “What episode are we on?”

“Oregon.” You started, knowing you’d have to catch him up on more than just the episode name. “Jess, Cece, and the guys go to Portland because Jess’ dad is getting married. Jess’ boyfriend, Ryan, was supposed to show up but since he lives in England he said it wouldn’t make sense for him to be there. So, Nick’s trying to make Jess feel better because he secretly loves her and I just need them to get back together.”

“Don’t they end up together though?” Bowen asks, trying to recall as much about the show as he could. It might not have been one of his personal favorites, but he knew you loved it, so that was enough for him to try and follow along.

“Yeah, but they aren’t right now.” You confirm. Before Bowen could ask anymore questions, you pressed play on your laptop and continued where you left off. Jess and the group had just arrived at her childhood home, only to find her mom ready to greet Ryan, who wasn’t there. The scene played on, with Nick telling Jess the hard truth that Ryan bailing wasn’t okay.

You could feel Bowen’s eyes on you as the scene changed to Nick comforting Jess in her room. Giggling at the Jordan Catalano joke, you tried your best to focus on the screen and not the piercing blue eyed gaze that seemed to be studying your face. And, like you always did when you got to this scene, you bit your lip to supress a grin as Nick delivered his next line.

“The only thing that matters is that the guy is there for you when you need him. Otherwise, you’re dating a wall.”

“Are you even paying attention, Bow? That’s like, my favorite line. What I wouldn’t give to have someone love me the way Nick loves Jess.” You sighed, settling further against Bowen as the episode continued on. He didn’t say anything in response, other than a quiet hum, but for the rest of the episode you could practically hear the gears turning inside his head as he turned his attention to the screen.

Netflix automatically continued on to the next episode, but as soon as the intro started Bowen’s hand shot out and paused the show. You looked at him curiously; the two of you usually got through at least a couple of episodes whenever you hung out like you were then.

“You know…” Bowen started, trailing off before he finished his thought. He wasn’t meeting your gaze, and it was clear that what he wanted to say was on the tip of his tongue so you stayed silent while he found his words. “I’m always there for you.”

You felt your heart stop beating and skip three beats all at once. You weren’t sure where he was going with his train of thought, but if you had to guess you would be getting your hopes up. Because there was absolutely no way that he felt the same for you that Nick does for Jess.

“Yeah, you are…” You breathed, trying to get him to meet your gaze but instead he stayed focused on your comforter pulled over both of your laps. The hand that wasn’t around your shoulders was toying with the fabric, and in a bid to calm him down enough to get him to say what he needed you slipped your hand into his. Bowen drew in a steadying breath and finally met your gaze, a dozen and one emotions swirling behind his eyes.

“I love you, you know.” He said firmly, like there was no question about it in the slightest and not the very words you had been dying to hear from him for years. You nodded, unable to form words but not wanting to leave him hanging.

You supposed you did know that he loved you. He showed it in his blatant affection and the frequent texts about how his life was going. He cared for you, there was no doubt about it, but you had never let yourself believe that he meant anything more than friendship. And now he was offereing everything you’d ever wanted on a silver platter.

“Bowen,” You started, but you couldn’t find the words to tell him just how much you loved him back. Instead, you moved the hand that wasn’t wrapped up in his to rest on Bowen’s jaw, turning his head just slightly so that you could press your lips to yours in a long awaited kiss that stole your breath.

Kissing Bowen felt so much better than what you imagined. The angle was a little odd and your neck was craned to face him, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. You’d share a thousand more awkwardly positioned kisses if it meant you got to be with Bowen.

You were the first to pull away, but you didn’t move far, wide grins on both of your faces as you took in the events of the past few moments. Your friendship was definitely changed, and in place was a relationship that you had been hoping for.

“I love you, too.” You finally mumbled. You wanted to tell him how you had loved him from the moment you met, how he made you fall in love with him with each and every day, but for the moment all that mattered was he knew you loved him just the same as he loved you.

“I hope, or else this is going to be awkward.” He mumbled playfully, leaning in again to close the distance between the two of you. You couldn’t help but chuckle against him, your hand slipping from his jaw to curve around the back of his neck in order to deepen the kiss.

Bowen was the Nick to your Jess, and not a day went by that you weren’t greatful for him.

#bowen byram #bowen byram fic #bowen byram imagine #bowen byram x reader #Colorado Avalanche #colorado avalanche fic #Colorado Avalanche x reader #Colorado Avalanche imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey x reader

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keets-writing-corner · 3 years

Text

I need to guuuuuuuuuuuuuush

I’m absolutely obsessed with Owari No Seraph/Seraph of the End. It has everything I want in a story

okay this got long so I put a cut

A romance I’m actually invested in: 1) it’s gay, like not even ambiguously gay, like very explicitly gay and it’s remarkable 2) it’s somehow enemies to lovers, best friends to lovers, and childhood friends to lovers ALL AT THE SAME TIME 3) the mutual pining is ridiculous, but manifests in “I MUST PROTECT” 4) omg they’re so devoted to each other???? 5) heavily implied in the anime and manga that they are each other’s reason for living after their trauma

Ambiguous characters: 1) we’ve got not one, not two, BUT THREE HIGH RANKING CHARACTERS within their respective organizations with THEIR OWN AGENDAS, screw whoever gets in their way 2) one of the said lovers from above pairing? Technically, he’s officially on one side, but he makes it very clear he actually doesn’t care about anyone EXCEPT his love interest and actively goes behinds people’s backs all the time to get what he wants. He has exactly 0 trust except for his love interest, which means he’ll literally fight both sides to make sure love interest is safe 3) THE FREAKING QUEEN, at first she’s like in a terrible one sided relationship with one of the characters with like... uh what’s it called? Power imbalance? Like she is 100% in control of this other person because they are wholly dependent on her, and she knows it, and often calls this other person her pet, and like, you think you’re supposed to hate her because she’s one of the contributing factors to the other character’s trauma but then it’s like, wait, actually, maybe she ALSO has ulterior motives and is one of the few people said character can actually trust with their wellbeing and their own interests being the only one who actively helps them with it 4) HMMM THAT SUPER SHADY DEMON/HUMAN ROMANCE YOU KNOW THE ONE IM TALKING ABOUT

Characters that suffer: okay listen, all of the characters have suffered through trauma, but special shout-out to Mika who has gone through my favorite kind of trauma to watch that develops characters. Spoilers for the rest of this paragraph so if you want to check out the show skip over it. okay gone? for real? you okay with getting spoiled if you haven’t seen yet? alright. last chance. Okay so first thing we know about Mika is that he’s an orphan and has a found family with his orphanage group right? even when they’re all being held captive by vampires underground, he at least has his family. Mika goes above and beyond to make sure that despite that they’re essentially just acting as the vampires’ blood-stock that their time there isn’t as bad as it could be. He offers himself up to one of the nobles, saying the noble can suck his blood if he gives him things, so he gets stuff like actual real food for his family to eat. In the manga, you can see that this is really draining on him, but he does it to see his family happy. Mika also knows that his crush absolutely hates it there, so he plans an escape, except oops they all get ambushed by the very noble he stole from and was swindling, and literally everyone gets killed in front of him except his crush, well I guess at the time he was too young for crush, so I’ll just call him Yuu. Anyways. Mika and Yuu manage to knock out the vampire noble working together, but Mika is fatally wounded so only Yuu actually escapes. AND THEN MIKA IS FORCIBLY TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE BY THE QUEEN, like he hates vampires, he considers them monsters, he doesn’t want eternal life or whatever, AND SHE FREAKING TURNS HIM TO KEEP HIM FROM DYING (the way she does it too could be considered traumatizing as well) and then he proceeds to be raised by people he considers monsters and hates that he’s become a vampire, and like does everything in his power to not drink human blood (resorting to drinking the Queen’s blood, and she’s fine with it cuz it keeps him completely dependent on her) like MMMM THAT POWER IMBALANCE IN A WORLD FULL OF THE MONSTERS YOU HATE WHILE BECOMING ONE YOURSELF IS ALREADY DAMAGING ENOUGH, and then he finds out that the very adults he used to trust as a child, were actually just treating him and his found family as guinea pigs and lab rats and that the only people who actually cared about him was his found family, who are all gone except for Yuu who isn’t there, so yeah oops, he hates humans now too. Like mmmm that is some tasty juicy angst right there. It manifests in him never smiling anymore, never speaking, just sitting there stoically. Like this was the little boy who was happy smiles all the time, either when he was genuinely happy with his family or putting on an act to deceive and he’s just so broken after the timeskip that we never see him smile until late in season 2. OH LETS NOT FORGET THE WHOLE VAMPIRE THING RIGHT? Mika doesn’t want to drink blood, but his body compells him to. He refuses to at least drink human blood, which works for a while but by the time the second season rolls around, the queen’s blood just isn’t cutting it anymore and there are so many scenes where his instincts take over and he almost bites someone only to snap out of it last second and start sobbing because he believes he’s becoming a monster. AND THAT’S NOT EVEN ALL OF IT, JUST THE THINGS THAT I LIKED THE MOST TO WATCH

spoilers over

the side characters: While I do think they could use a little bit more development, but that’s probably because they’re not quite rubbing me just the right way like Mika is, so they pale by comparison BUT there are some things I enjoy 1) we’ve got a literal troll on the team. I’ve seen some people call her annoying, but omg I love seeing her troll the others. also she uses a scythe and it’s awesome 2) OMG THERE’S A SWEET BABI BOY ARCHER??? slight spoilers, but my favorite part was when he reveals that his demon decided to give him more powers because he treats his demon like a friend, and talks to it at night before going to bed, sometimes asking it what it’s favorite color is?? 3) okay okay okay, listen, I already like the character by himself, the sniper dude, he’s already great as he’s written. But then add the fact that not only does he look EXACTLY like Victor Nikiverov from Yuri on Ice, BUT HE HAS THE SAME FREAKING VOICE ACTOR TOO that just cracks me up 4) I love the one vampire side character who keeps trying to befriend Mika, and Mika just keeps stonewalling him 5) honestly the queen is really badass, and as much as I hated her at first, I actually enjoy every second she’s on screen 6) There’s a vampire called Crowley and idk what it is with him but he just gives me “Big Fun” vibes even though he’s one of the most ruthless characters in the show

plot and arcs: it doesn’t drag itself on and on and on, it actually completes goals and important benchmarks fairly quickly so we don’t need to keep waiting on things to happen. But at the same time, is so drawn out that you still can’t help but feel like it’s taking forever to get to where you want it to go and it’s great because it means you get so much story to enjoy. Also, the fact that the protagonists always have one clear goal at a time, but us as the viewers see other things happening behind the scenes, without always understanding what they are, and we’re stuck seeing this collision path where everything is gonna intersect and you know it’s going to be terrible and there characters are going to suffer but you love that.

anyways, Seraph of the end is super good, I loved it, the anime isn’t enough so I’m actually chasing after the Manga for once. Mika is officially one of my all-time favorite characters and he deserves to be happy. If you know what I’m talking about cheer with me, if you haven’t seen it yet, omgggggggggggggggggggg GO CHECK IT OUT IF ANY OF THE THINGS I SAID APPEAL TO YOU

#seraph of the end #owari no seraph #Mika #Mikayuu #I'm gushiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing #I'm obsessed #send help #I watched another anime a while ago that a similar sort of gay romance going on #and i really wanted to like it because I loved the premise behind it #I really did #but it was so badly executed that I could only watch it ironically #THEN I FIND THIS #AND ITS SIMILAR PREMISE BUT DONE IN ALL THE WAYS I COULD EVER WANT #also omg the music is amazing #half the joy for me is the music #Do you guys have any idea how hard it is to get me to ship??#anyways this has consumed my life for now

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sour-n-salty-citrus · 3 years

Note

Do you have any hopes for the season finale? I saw in another ask, you described the dynamic between rick and morty this season as "very weak, distant, and downright frankly boring" and I completely agree with you! I hope that, because this is most we'll see rick and morty interacting this season, it'll have at least a few moments of what makes their dynamic so interesting to watch.

(Ok i started airing my grievances with this season, which ended up being... long, so skip this paragraph (starting at / / /) to get to my thoughts on the finale)

Oh gosh I remember that ask (I think-). And yeah, maybe I'm being a bit overly critical. I'll probably look back on this season with retrospect, and a kinder, fonder view. Ik androgynousblackbox (think thats right) made a great point about it being the season FOR rickorty shippers. And sure, I agree on some bits, like Rick acting all pissy and partying the way you would if your ex got with someone new in the planetina ep. Overall though, i think my problem lies in that I was enjoying more individual moments than episodes themselves, especially the middle three. For example- Amortycan Grickfitti. Like, I really liked the idea of the Ship getting on a crazy adventure with Summer and Morty (and Chutback). I like the idea of a Beth-Jerry-Rick adventure. But put together, it's just kinda... meh? You know? I liked the first half of the Thanksgiving special... but it kinda dragged on after that. I get that they want to give other characters (particularly female ones) more attention, which is completely understandable and i encourage it(!) but I can't help but find it underwhelming. Like, Summer in the voltron ep was like- girl how are you STILL vying for Rick's attention! He's the worst! Haven't we done this already? (I will say though I ADORE how far Beth has come, props to her for continuing to seeing through her dad's BS. I was worried the character would relapse into a more typical s1/s2 Beth, and I'm glad she didn't). Some of these plots, funnily enough, seem more fitting of the comics (they actually had a voltron parody already). Fun and entertaining for two or three-something issues, not so much a 22 minute episode. i think most of my complaints come from the dynamic between our titular characters- ok, I know I'm very biased (I mean you can see it), but I came to the show primarily for their relationship. It doesn't even feel drama-fueled, just that they kinda... can't be arsed. I'm torn because on the one hand, they're unhealthily codependent and this separation is probably a good thing, but on the other... it doesn't feel natural? I'm not sure if that's the right word- it's like, season 4 had them practically joint at the hip, but all that's suddenly flung out the window. It just kinda feels like this "i got better things to do" vibe from both of them and its strange. The only time they both got a solo adventure (I'm classifying "solo" as an adventure where they spent a significantly large portion of time together, without the other family members) was in the sperm ep and Thanksgiving ep. And, well, in the Thanksgiving ep Morty felt like a side character in his own show, and the sperm ep... um. Yeah. I don't think it's AS bad as people were saying, but I was cringing the whole time (the second hand embarrassment for Morty was so strong I had to turn off the episode multiple times and return to it. It's just like- godammit MORTY). And I think there's good reason those two seemed to be the most disliked episodes overall. They're the ones RaM spend the most time together and it's... meh. Meh? Meh. I don't mean to say the season overall is bad (it has loads of good points, and its amazing for Smith family as a whole) just that if we're talking specifically about the dynamic between these two? Yeah, I wouldn't recommend a single episode from this season so far to use as an example of their relationship.

/ / /

There's one thing this season has been pretty good at, though. And it's showing us what happens when Rick is alone.

And that brings me to the finale.

"Who is Rick without Morty?"

Well... we already know the answer to that. Pathetic. Sad. Lonely.

This season has been phenomenal in humbling Rick. (And trust me I'm happy for it- every time someone beats the crap outta this shitty old man I'm like YES!!! IT'S WHAT HE DESERVES!). Ep 1 had his "nemesis" clearly besting him, ep 2 had Beth making constant digs (love her) and overall pointing out his extreme callousness and cruelty towards even himself(ves). Ep 3- when Morty shows interest in a girl and ditches him (like seriously it's not like he's moving out, chill) he immediately goes on a bender and develops a deep attachment to the first person he can (wearing yellow, funnily enough). Ep 4, he devotes himself to becoming an "honest man" for his new child, only for it to instantly be taken away from him. Ep 5 highlights how RICK is the asshole for making fun of and taking advantage of someone well-meaning and honest, if "simple", and how literally not cool that is. Ep 6 has his crazy rivalry with the president, and they both get smacked down a couple pegs for that. Ep 7 shows what happens when he allows himself to get carried away, and that he can end up driving everyone else away in the process (lucky they still wanted to save his ass when he needed them). And episode 8? Hooooo boy. Episode. 8. We see a direct parallel in Birdperson with Morty, and the whole "Rick and [insert] 100 years!" Rick has few people he cares about, arguably only one or two that he truly devotes himself to, but when he does, boy does he go HARD. We see younger Rick, optimistic, energetic, friendly and hopeful. And we see all of that crushed in minutes. Rick is desperate for a companion, someone to see the stars with. He needs someone there, someone he can trust and rely on to stay. Someone like Morty. So without Morty, who is Rick?

No one.

And the thing is, Morty doesn't need Rick anymore. Not like Rick needs him. In season 1, Morty was this bright-eyed kid who was new to the cosmos and the multiverse, who needed his grandpa there with him as they explored all these places together. But that's not him anymore. That's not them.

The promo has Morty using the portal gun to go somewhere w/o Rick's permission (i like to think it's boob world lol). It doesn't matter to me as much where he's going, as much as he's doing it alone. He doesn't just not need Rick there, he doesn't want him.

(Also correct me if im wrong but I've missed that sweet portal gun so much. I think the last ep was like- the first time this season we saw it).

Morty's response to Rick? "Replace me!". And wow. Wow. WOW. Morty doesn't give a FUCK! I think Rick thinks that because he's so smart, that he can offer so much, that Morty will come crawling back, and I don't think he will.

Hopes for the finale! Hmm. I mean, I definitely hope "evil" Morty makes a reappearance, haha. I think we all do tbh ;). I want to see some Morty development too, this season has been very Rick-centric (not that there's anything wrong with that!) so I wanna see what's in store for Our Boy. I really hope we get to see the Citadel again, and see the state it's in, but I doubt it. We know something super big is in store, it's just a question of what? Other hopes I have is some Summer + Beth action (please let them team up Im BEGGING) and Jerry too ahaha. I'd love if some other side characters made an appearance as well. Oh- I'm definitely expecting a dramatic cliffhanger at the end of the first half leading to the second half, with the kind of angsty music that leads into the credits (pls that shit is so good (OH WAIT imagine if it was like, for the damaged coda, but like- the chopin version or smth so it could be more subtle maybe bruhhhh)). Ok haha, maybe that's asking too much, the writers made it clear in the story train ep that they weren't gonna do that big dramatic showdown (... unless 👀). Oh, I'd also love some Premium Angst too, like someone getting kidnapped/nearly dying (like ACTUALLY nearly dying). These stakes better be so damn high I could spear a man on them! OH, also I remember androgynousblackbox (is that right? I hope it is) mentioned something along the lines that they could be driving Rick and Morty apart this season in order to have them come back together stronger than ever in an explosive finale, which, I'm strongly hoping for myself.

Thanks if you made it this far! If you have any thoughts on or hopes of your own for the finale please feel free to share! :D

#ohmygod im sorry #i rambled way too long #akdjsksaksn #someone needs to take this phone away #also AGAIN im not shitting on s5 as a whole i actually quite like it #its just the RaM dynamic thats lacking #but again that could be intention so ig we'll see #RaM #rick and morty #meta #?#long post #citrus speaks #oh wait i should probably tag to be safe #rickorty mention

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peaches-writes · 4 years

Text

off season

description: student athletes need to look out for each other—well, at least seungmin needs to look out for your clumsy ass most of the time member: seungmin genre: fluff, sports au, best friends to lovers au, slice of life au, summer au, a side of college au (but like the ugly ass summer classes aspect of college life), implied fem reader word count: 11.3k warning: explicit language, blood, injuries, extreme sports, a very poor attempt at writing sports, seungmin worries the entire time for good reason note: a bunch of stuff put together it’s not rlly good sldkfsk like it was getting too lengthy i had to like haphazardly end it somehow + the one time you see me write a sports-themed fic & it’s not abt the actual sports i play lmao + also hi @t-toodumbtocare u told me to tag u so here we are

one - saturday

Amidst preparations for your incoming senior thesis, choosing your course specialization, clubs, and training, Kim Seungmin rushed getting his driver’s license before the end of your 3rd year’s 2nd semester for the sole purpose of driving you around the city this summer and you’re quite sure that that’s love. Though he disapproves of your specific choice of escapade that has you running around Seoul in circles in the first place, your best friend still made sure to pass his driving classes a whole month before the previous semester ended and with flying colors so he can “look after you” as he would put it. It definitely is love—simultaneously a heartwarming and annoying one at that.

“I can take care of myself, I’m an adult,” You feign a frown at him stubbornly for the third time this month, sliding in the front seat of his navy Subaru anyway and placing your gym bag in front of your feet. You then busy yourself with taking your roller skates out, switching them out with your old Converse. “and it’s not like I don’t know how to commute.”

But, just as you’ve had this conversation every time he picks you up from your dorm on Saturday evenings, Seungmin only dismisses your argument and replies, “Yeah, and you know transport is not the main reason why I chaperone.” From the corner of your eye, you then see him expertly shifting the gears and turning the steering wheel, driving the car to the campus’ South gate, his serious expression unwavering and making you stifle a giggle. “You could get seriously hurt playing. Your mom will kill me and your coach will kill you for that.”

“But I haven’t yet.” You counter with a slight teasing in your tone, pretending to ignore his last comment. You don’t even repeat this argument every week in the hopes of changing Seungmin’s mind at this point; after almost two months of the same starting conversation between the two of you, you just press his buttons now for fun. Undeniably, it’s funny seeing him get visibly riled up. “I’ve been playing derby for two months and the most I’ve gotten is a severely bloody nose. It’s nothing I can’t handle—“

“Yet.” He scoffs now in frustration before turning right to the main highway, well-aware of what you’re doing but letting himself get stressed anyway. “Even athletes get seriously hurt in the field, Y/N, we both know that.”

You only nod with a hum, twisting your body to Seungmin’s direction and poking his side. “I know, Minnie.” You assure, softer now as you finally let out the chuckle you’ve been holding. “Now relax, loosen up a bit! You know I’m just messing with you!”

“I know and it’s getting a bit concerning.” He rolls his eyes, finally relaxing his shoulders a bit and sighing in disbelief before swiftly swatting your hand away from his waist. “You talk like you’re not training for next year’s Championships.”

“Ah, but it’s because training isn’t as strict yet, at least with mine.” You shrug, sitting up properly in your seat as you take this opportunity to change the topic. “How’s your training, by the way? I barely saw you this week. Is Jeno giving you a hard time as co-capt.?”

You sink in your seat and look up at Seungmin expectantly after, smiling unconsciously when he doesn’t respond immediately to focus on driving, giving you a brief moment to admire his focused expression. “Training’s okay.” He eventually replies, quirking an eyebrow when he briefly glances at you over his shoulder and catches you staring. “Surprisingly, Jeno’s chill with being co-capt. We’re getting along.”

“’Chill,’ you mean lazy like you.” You scoff playfully. “Why have you been too busy to hang out this week, then?”

“Practicing my driving so I don’t accidentally kill you first before roller skating could.” He answers dryly, making you roll your eyes. “That and Mr. Im’s giving too much papers for an intersession class.”

“Right, summer classes. So responsible.” You scrunch up your nose. “Aren’t you tired? Training, summer classes, driving me on Saturdays, not to mention we’re going to be seniors after the break...”

When you don’t speak after trailing off, you see him shaking his head. “A bit, but driving you around is relaxing.” He corrects casually, missing the way he catches you off-guard. “It helps me think and, like I’ve said before, I get to look after you so, seriously, don’t try sneaking around me and commuting on your own or I’ll start panicking.”

Now, that is new to your Saturday conversation starter.

“Really now?” You raise your own eyebrow, trying your best to not sound too surprised. “So you don’t hate this as much as you make it seem like?”

“I didn’t say that.” Though visibly caught off-guard too, he shakes his head as seriously as he can look, not even sparing you a glance this time as he makes another turn. “But making sure you’re alive is kind of part of the best friend job.” He explains after, making you laugh. “And driving—driving’s always fun.”

“Sure, sure.” You smile as you try playing it off coolly, looking down on your hands as heat rises up your neck. “Whatever you say, Minnie.”

You first got into roller derby through Yuna, a freshman in your university and a fellow figure skater who began training alongside you during the 1st semester of your 3rd year. Sometime almost two months ago, one of her derby team members, Yeji, had to cancel a few days prior to an important game to attend to her personal matters and so she immediately turned to you as a possible substitute, noting your figure skating skills and how you’re already familiar with the sport from occasionally watching her. Naturally, with your adventurous streak, curiosity got the best of you when presented with the offer and, especially after winning the game, you’ve been hooked ever since; meeting up with her and the rest of the all-girls team almost every Friday and Saturday at the warehouse on the way to Incheon where the games are usually held.

So naturally, she always makes sure to meet you at the entrance of the venue, especially now that she’s not training with you for the summer to focus on her own summer classes and a part-time job.

“Finally, you’re here! I missed you!” She hurriedly waves at Seungmin before throwing an arm around your shoulder in a side hug. “How have you two been, lovebirds?”

“Ya, Minnie and I aren’t like that.” You roll your eyes as you briefly hug her back by her waist, careful of her arm injury from two Saturdays ago while expertly hiding the heat flaming your cheeks. With this gesture, you almost miss the way Seungmin’s lips frown every so slightly in front of you, if it’s because of the nickname or your reaction to it, you dare not to ask for fear of further embarrassment. “And I’ve been well, Coach Park isn’t going beast mode on me yet. Seungmin here’s been busy, though.”

“Oh, right! I heard from Jeno that your first game’s in 2 weeks already.” Yena then turns to your best friend expectantly. “How’s training? The game’s on a Saturday, right?”

“It’s...fine,” Seungmin answers slowly with a hum, almost as if he’s hesitant on what word to use. You then see him narrow his eyes at you when he sees the mischievous glint in your eyes at the familiar question. “...chill, actually.”

“Chill as in lazy.” And as expected, you chime in the same words you commented on the car ride to the venue, making Yuna throw her head back in laughter. “You know how our friends are.”

“As expected of Seungmin and Jeno together, I guess.” She nods in confirmation between laughs, making Seungmin groan in defeat even more. “How do boys in team sports even do it? Train, I mean?”

You shrug in response, giggling at Seungmin’s annoyed expression directed mostly to you. “Guess we’ll have to see in two weeks, right? Are you free on that weekend?”

“Yeah, intersession’s been hectic, but I’ll try and clear my schedule!”

“Oh coo—!” But before you could even comment more on a possible hangout with Yuna, Seungmin is already directing the three of you inside the warehouse impatiently. “Ya!”

“Yeah, yeah, finish your game tonight first then I’ll think about letting you in mine. Aish, you two are so mean to me and Jeno all the time.” He huffs with a roll of eyes, stopping right in front of the path behind the audience bleachers leading to the locker rooms.

Turning to you again, he then bids you goodbye with an affectionate pat to your head and a long sigh. “Be careful tonight, okay? Make sure to wear your gear properly.”

“Always am.” You assure with a wink, holding your gear up in front of him before he can take another step back. “Relax, would you? Just enjoy the show tonight!”

Seungmin nods at you with pursed lips one last time before waving goodbye as he starts retreating back into the crowd, most likely to join your other friends at the bleachers. “I’ll see you on the rink!”

“I’ll be the one with the star on my helmet!” You jokingly remind with a chuckle, smiling when he acknowledges you with a final wave before finally turning around to walk away properly.

“Ah, lovebirds.” Yuna comments on the side once Seungmin fully disappears into the crowd, making you glare at her at already knowing where this conversation is going to lead to. “Every single time you’re here without fail. So romantic!”

“Yuna!” You scold much like you’ve been doing the past two months, throwing your arm around her shoulder this time as the two of you now turn left to the lockers. “It’s really not like that!”

“I’m friends with Kai and Jeno but you don’t see those two caring if I die on the rink every game. I’m pretty sure they want me dead more than anything, even.” She points out in defense. “I’m telling you, Seungmin’s a whole keeper! And you already told me you like him too so what’s stopping yo—“

“We’re not dating ever.” You insist stubbornly, entering the locker rooms now where your teammates greet you (and Yeji scolds you again for arriving late). “He’s just looking out for me because he thinks I can’t commit to anything without threatening death. Besides, he’s busy, I’m busy—”

“—You like him, he likes you, you’re both dense.” Yuna interjects in the same enumerating tone you used, settling on a nearby bench as you move to your locker to change and prepare your gear. “The same speech every week, and they’re not even good excuses. Seriously, just date already!”

You open your mouth to respond while taking your outer clothes off, revealing your derby uniform inside, but Lia, as expected, suddenly pops out of nowhere, asking, “Who’s dating?”

“No one—”

“Will date, you mean.” Yuna corrects, turning your frown into a scowl now as you pop your head out of your shirt, carefully discarding the material inside your locker with your gym bag in exchange for your helmet and arm gear. “You already know who.”

At this, you see Lia smile knowingly and lean back on the bench as you hurriedly put on your gear and helmet. “Right, the lovebirds.” She nods at Yuna before turning to you. “Did anything happen this week?”

You quickly shake your head, adjusting your helmet as you do so. “No, Yuna’s just teasing me—again.” You then sit in between the two girls, re-tying your roller skate’s laces. “Don’t listen to her, she’s delusional.”

“Um, delusional for a reason!” The girl in question protests much to Lia’s amusement, bumping her shoulders with yours in the process. “Who even drives people to places even when they don’t want to? And he always insists on looking at your injuries after every game too? I think someone’s whipped and his name begins with a Seung and ends with a Min.”

“He’s just nice and—” You try to insist again but to no avail when you see her raising her eyebrows and smiling suggestively, your hands going up to your face sheepishly as your stubborn front easily breaks down at it. “Ugh, stop with those looks!”

On your sides, you hear Lia and Yuna laugh, patting your back and shoulders comfortingly.

“Hey, you know Yuna’s just messing with you.” Lia reminds you softly after a moment, prying your hands off of your face and helping you up. “You won’t let that get in your head now of all weeks, would you? It’s the re-match game against our seniors tonight!”

“It’s just you always put me up to it. Seriously, stop it!” You groan instead in protest, belatedly swatting the two away as you join your team back outside and to the rink. “I swear, if I end up getting thrown by Jeongyeon across the rink again tonight, I’m blaming it on you because you keep teasing me.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” Yuna rolls her eyes playfully just as you reach the rink, meeting the crowd’s cheers that momentarily prompts you to wave and smile at them. “maybe until later after the game.”

“Don’t even try pointing at Seungmin to me again mid-game.” You elbow her harshly, ending the conversation as the announcer, Jaemin, calls your team name and starts listing your numbers one by one in introduction.

“...number 5 Lee Chaeryeong, number 9 Shin Yuna, and number 17 Y/N Y/L/N!”

“I don’t have to,” Yuna retorts playfully as she prepares to slide in the rink before you, referring to your last comment. “You always find him yourself, anyway.”

And, as if her words easily got to you, you unconsciously find Seungmin waving at you from the crowd, seated with Jeno, Kai, and Jeongin who are holding yet another cheesy poster for your team. You wave back at him out of courtesy, glancing at Yuna after to roll your eyes in her direction.

“See?” She mouths at you before moving to the very front of the group with Lia and Yeji, starting the game. “Whipped!”

Meanwhile, you skate over to the back with the opposing team’s jammer, Jeongyeon, accepting her high-five before getting in position.

“Y/N, long time no see! Are you with your boyfriend again?” She teases just as Jaemin, blows the first whistle for the pack to start skating. “Seungmin, right? The kid from Legal Management?”

You glance at her briefly, skating on the second whistle first before exclaiming, “Jeongyeon, not you too!”

“I’m just asking!” She holds her hands up in defense, quickening her pace almost at the same time as you do. “Just so I know if you get distracted again!”

“I won’t this time, promise.” You assure, using the conversation to fuel your momentum and easily overtaking her. “I’ll be focused tonight!”

“We’ll see about that!” You hear her yell behind you as she catches up, dodging your teammates while you dodge hers to score a point.

Swiftly, you duck and jump around the pack, making sure to avoid Seungmin’s eyes when you pass his bleachers to prove to Yuna, Lia, and even Jeongyeon otherwise as you come in contact with them.

Eventually, with a little difficulty and a lot of harsh shoulder and hip bumps from Chaeyoung and Dahyun, you then score the first point with a huge gap between you and Jeongyeon.

“See, I’m focused!” You brag to your senior who runs behind you before turning your gaze ahead again.

“And the first 5 points of the night goes to number 17, Y/N!” Meanwhile, Jaemin announces into his mic from the center of the rink, catching a high-five from you as you pass. “Must be all that formal training, huh?”

“What are you talking about? This is how I usually walk!” You reply playfully, eliciting more cheers from the crowd as you naturally change into your athletic persona.

“And the figure skater brags again.” Jaemin muses out loud, receiving the banter well as the host. “Careful there, Y/N, Jeongyeon, number 1, is catching up quickly!”

But despite the warning, you take the time away from the pack to momentarily slow down, waving and receiving more high-fives from the crowd before finally looking over at Seungmin who is now on his feet and clapping wildly while cheering for your team, a stark contrast of his usual worried disposition at the start of the night. When you reach his bleacher as you quicken your pace to try and score another point, you lean over the barrier and send him a confident wink which he receives with a playful scoff.

“What are you doing? Focus on your game!” He scolds, the other boys snickering next to him.

“I’m just checking in with my biggest fan before he goes back to worried mode.” You grin at him, pinching his cheek affectionately. “How was my first five points?”

“Great, great.” He answers quickly, gently pushing you by your shoulder as if gesturing you to go back to your game. “Now, go, you have a pack to catch up to and a game to win.”

Cute, you think to yourself, a grin forming on your features as you bid him goodbye again to go back to chasing the pack around the rink. “Okay, Minnie, whatever you say!”

“You two are so adorable!” Sana points out as you reach her on the side of the pack after, not even bothering to block you or hit you by the hips now with how much she’s gushing over you and Seungmin. “So cute!”

“I know, right? Unnie, can you believe they’re still not dating?” Yuna agrees, letting her guard down momentarily from blocking Sana until she sees Jeongyeon catching up to you from over your shoulder.

“Yuna, stop it!”

“No! It’s fu—oh, look out!”

Behind you, Jeongyeon easily knocks Lia and Chaeryeong off their skates, her hand reaching your shoulder to propel herself forward in the tightly-knit pack.

“Come on, guys, less talking more hitting!” Your opponent jammer sticks her tongue out, purposely waiting for you to catch up before picking up the pace again. “Y/N, you said you’re not getting distracted!”

“Sana and Yuna were ganging up on me!” You retort in protest, bumping her by her shoulders and hips and overtaking her again. “More hitting it is then!”

“Oh, it seems like this second game between Team Neon and Team Magenta is going to be bloody!” Jaemin, quickly picking up on the commotion, comments. “Who will be our winner tonight? It looks like it’s going to be a very close call!”

“Ah, not on my watch.” You mumble under your breath, expertly knocking out Jeongyeon on the way to another five points.

The game ends almost two hours later, the score being 115-110 with your team emerging victorious and at least four overall cuts and bruises around your body. As soon as all the photographs have been taken for Instagram and the weekly plastic trophy has been passed around your team at least twice, Seungmin immediately takes you away from the crowd and your team right after taking your things from the locker room, his adrenaline for watching sports directing its attention to tending to you again and his cheerful expression switching back to worry.

“Minnieee,” You call for him for the second time as you near the bathroom at the end of the hall, tiredly stumbling over nothing when Seungmin doesn’t slow down a bit with his brisk walking. “Minnie, slow down a bit, my legs are tired!”

But he only slows down when you reach the bathroom, gently hoisting you up to sit on the cold marble of the sinks before taking out his first-aid kit and the ice packs he got from Jaemin from the outer pockets of his backpack. His serious and worried expression doesn’t falter once, looking even worse than the one he always wears on your car rides to the game. “Don’t move too much until I—until we’ve checked everything.” He instructs you, lifting your gym bag and his backpack that he’s been carrying with him to the side.

“You’re so serious again.” You feign another frown at him once you’re settled on top of the sink, gaze softening as he quietly and hurriedly shuffles around to wrap the ice packs in towels as if ignoring your comment. “Don’t I get another ‘congrats’ or a ‘good job’? I scored 85 of those 115 points. I’m fine.”

“I already congratulated you with the others out there,” He reminds with a frustrated sigh, carefully inspecting your arms and legs for more bruises he didn’t initially notice. “and you already know you did really well against Jeongyeon this time around but that fall before the 85th point...”

At the mention of your one violent fall tonight, you shift uncomfortably in your seat. “This one?” You ask for confirmation, lifting your shift up and pulling your waistband down slightly against your heated cheeks and Seungmin’s suddenly wide eyes. Clearing your throat, you hide it again from him as quickly as you showed it and assure, “It’s fine, seriously, I—“

But, just as stubborn as you are, Seungmin’s hands move shakily to the hem of your shirt, hesitantly lifting it up after looking up at you in permission to see the harsh mark. “I-It’s turning blue. You didn’t even ice it up properly when you switched positions with Chaeyeon.” He argues back as firmly as he can and thus cutting you off from showing him your other bruises, his other hand holding up the ice pack in between the two of you. “This one really needs the ice pack more than the rest.”

Your eyes widen back at him because of the gesture, freezing for a moment in place until you quickly regain composure and manage to stutter out, “O-okay, fine...” And with that, you take his hand off your shirt, holding it up yourself while your other hand takes the ice pack from him. “Th—shit—t-thanks.”

Seungmin only nods and hums in acknowledgement awkwardly, picking up two other ice packs wrapped in a towels and leaving one to rest on your right thigh while he hovers the other over your your collarbones. “The other two don’t look too bad, though.” He comments, changing the topic and muttering a quick apology when you hiss at the simultaneous cold contact on your skin. “You’re not hurt anywhere else, right?”

“I think I have a cut on my feet, I’m not sure, it stings a bit when I put too much pressure.” You shrug your free shoulder carefully, meeting Seungmin’s eyes when you turn to him again and find him hovering dangerously close to your face. With the way he looks at you expectantly for answers, you immediately figure out that it’s not time to tease or play games with him anymore. “I-I’ll just—walk back out with slippers, it’s probably just the blisters from last week.”

“We’ll have to check that too. You also have a cut on your lip, you know.” He points out after when he leans closer, his free hand picking up a small box of face tissues from the first-aid kit. “When did this even happen?”

Instinctively, you reach out to touch your bare lips first before taking the tissues from him, only then noticing the dry skin bumps that have now formed around what you assume would be a dried cut. “Huh, I didn’t even notice.” You muse out loud, closing your mouth and taking the tissues from Seungmin immediately when you feel the wound open slightly again. “It must be from when Chaeyoung hit me—shit.”

“Nothing you can’t handle, huh?” Seungmin mumbles under his breath, looking down on your thigh to check the bruise under the ice pack he left freely on top of it. “You’re so clumsy.”

You frown at him and the reference to earlier this evening, making him crack a small amused smile when he meets your gaze again. “Fine, maybe I am a bit—clumsy.” You admit hesitantly with a sigh and a roll of your eyes when he raises an eyebrow at you again. “But at least I got you to patch me up every time, right?”

“And that’s why I chaperone you.” He reiterates firmly, briefly taking off the ice pack he’s holding against your collarbones to inspect the bruise after and furrowing his eyebrows.

“Tch, it’s not like this happens every week. It just happened that tonight was extra violent, you know.” You reply slowly before licking your lips and disposing the tissue into a nearby chute.

“Yeah but point you still got hurt like you always do every single week.” He retorts before picking up the ointment and cotton balls next to you, taking a step back and crouching down to the level of your skates. Untying your shoelaces then taking your skates and socks off, you lean forward to see Seungmin wince at the amount of red blotches and commenting, “Look, you even managed to open your blisters tonight.”

“Is it that ba—sh-shit! Ya, Minnie, you’re pressing too hard on i—ya, it hurts!” You wince when Seungmin presses a cotton ball coated in ointment on one of your blisters, making you instinctively grip on the edge of the sink and lean back.

“Ya, you really didn’t notice this? At all?” He scolds, cleaning your wounds again but this time simultaneously evading your unconscious attempts at kicking his face.

“Well, I was too happy knowing that we’re advancing to fina—ow, ow, ow, it stings!”

“Ah, seriously. Ya, stop moving too much, I still need to bandage these.” He hisses, slapping your leg gently before going back to cleaning your wounds. “I’ll make it up to you later, promise.”

“Piggyback and ice cream?” You pout. “You’re being really harsh on my blisters.”

“Wheelchair if you don’t behave and kick me in the face.” He threatens, holding your feet in place by your ankles before going back to cleaning the rest of your wounds. “Now, just hold it in a bit.”

two - sunday

Seungmin also dotes on you by randomly checking in during your training hours. Though he’s always done this even before you started training competitively, ever since you’ve picked up your side hobby of roller derby this summer he’s started picking up a more consistent schedule of coming over on Sunday mornings (when he knows you’d still push yourself to attend training) to make sure that you’re not overworking and further damaging your already bruised and wounded body. It’s a bit too much for his character, you’d know very well as his best friend with years of observing how he treats his other student athlete friends, but he always brings you coffee and a cheat meal bento for when Coach Park isn’t looking so you can’t really complain.

“Minnie!” You greet him with a wave as he finally arrives, 8 PM on the dot just as you finish your best attempt at warming up your already sore body. Skating over to his side of the audience area, you then lean over the barriers with your arms folded on top of it with an anticipating smile, watching him get comfortable in his unofficial seat in the middle of the front row. “What do you have for me today?”

“It’s Korean special for today.” He answers with a smile, taking out a pair of familiar white bento boxes typically sold at the cafeteria of the nearby College of Architecture and shaking it in front of you before placing it on the seat next to him. Looking around the empty rink, he then asks, “Coach Park isn’t with you today?”

“Faculty meeting, won’t be back until lunch,” You shrug before another thought crosses your mind. “Hey, do you want to skate?”

Seungmin hesitantly shakes his head in front of your wide eyes, sinking in his seat. “No, I’m good, thanks.” He shrugs as casually as he can, though you’re quicker to take note of his gaze lingering on the smooth ice.

So, stubborn as you are, you insist anyway, “I see that look!”

“You’re supposed to be training—actually, you shouldn’t even be with all the hits you took last night.” He points out. “Anyway, don’t you need the whole rink?”

“I’ll be here the whole day. I can just practice seriously when Coach Park is actually here.” You grin widely, smoothly gliding to the gates now to fetch him. When he doesn’t move in his seat, you continue further up the stairs until your blades hit the rubber mats of the audience area. “And like you said, I shouldn’t be training with all the hits I took last night.”

“We can just skate around leisurely!” You conclude, Seungmin’s eyes narrowing up at you when you reach him and his body automatically cringing at the sound of your blades hitting rubber.

“Yeah, but—”

In response, you take hold of his free hand with your own while the other puts his backpack to the side, tugging him to the direction of the locker rooms. “I’m injured so I need help getting around.” You answer after halfheartedly.

“You were already skating before I could even get here.” He tries reasoning out but before he can even continue, you’ve already managed to pull him up to a stand, almost tripping the two of you even until he quickly balanced himself right in front of you.

“Kids will start training here by next week so this is literally the last time we’ll have the ice on our own for a while.” You counter back, already pulling him to the locker rooms with the loud thud of your blades. Glancing over at him from behind your shoulder, you chuckle as you catch Seungmin’s expression change into that of resignation as he finally lets you pull him along. “Ha, knew it.”

“I’m just looking out for you,” He states, more to convince himself than you. At that, you reach the locker room, proceeding straight to the unclaimed locker next to yours by the door for Seungmin’s skates—an old pair you stole from his house some two Christmases ago when he started visiting you like this.

“Right, right.” You giggle at him, passing him his skates and taking out another article of clothing from the lockers, this time a familiar hoodie from your locker that immediately catches Seungmin’s eye. “Just put these on.”

“Didn’t you say you lost this hoodie?”

“It actually got lost in my laundry for two months bu—ya, don’t look at me like that! At least I’m giving it back now! I don’t want you getting in there cold!”

Seungmin is exceptionally knowledgeable on many things like Legal Management (his course), baseball, music (especially singing with the amount of times he hangs out with Jeongin, his other best friend), and skating—but the last is quite debatable since his knowledge is limited to growing up watching you upgrade from the lake behind your houses when you were five to the rinks you train at today. He still doesn’t get how scoring works (”But you looked so great out there!” “Not to the judges, I guess.” “Huh?!”) and he still can’t differentiate the common jumps in competitive figure skating that well but you trust him as one who has a good eye for artistry and technique. He is a fellow athlete, after all.

“Can you extend your arms a little more?” He asks after you’ve shown him a particular step in a work-in-progress choreography for next year’s Championships. After a mini argument with him over whether you’ll practice your stunts while he’s still with you or just skate around until you feel tired, he somehow convinced you to show your choreography first before skating with you by offering to treat you to another bento box and a cup of iced coffee later.

Damn his negotiating skills.

Skating back to him from the other side of the rink, you sigh. “I mean I can if I’m not injured at the moment.” You answer, gesturing to the bruise on your collarbone hidden behind your own long sleeves. “Maybe on the day itself, you know, 7 months from now.”

“Then you should make sure to extend your arms out in that move when your bruise heals so you look pretty,” He concludes, taking your phone out of his pocket and pressing pause on your chosen music that now fades to a segment without choreography yet. “and don’t play any derby on that month.”

The last comment makes you smile as you now leisurely skate in circles around him. “So you’re allowing me to play derby until next year?” You ask with your most hopeful look, halting to a stop next to him and linking your arms with his after.

“I’m just saying in case you still want to play derby until next year.” He shrugs, following you around the rink when you tug him forward. “The choice is still up to you.”

You then take this as a sign that you can now skate freely around after a whole hour of “practice,” mindlessly leading the two of you around the ice. Seungmin would still trip a little bit no matter how many times you’ve tried teaching him how to glide smoothly on the ice but you pretend to not take notice of this, gently helping him balance himself wordlessly instead.

“Wait, do you still want to?” He asks after a moment. “Play after the summer, I mean?”

You shrug back, alternating your attention between thinking of a more elaborate answer and looking down on Seungmin’s skates to make sure he’s not threatening another fall. “Derby’s fun and all, especially right now on my off-season but I don’t know. It does take a toll sometimes.” You end up saying in the end, guiding Seungmin around the curve of the rink in increasingly larger glides. “Coach Park’s kind of getting mad at me already too when she sees some of my blisters since it’s not helping me break in my new skates.”

“So...yes, no, maybe?”

“Maybe.” You answer, looking up at him and admiring the way he concentrates on balancing himself. “Besides, I still have to ask you about it too.”

At that, you catch Seungmin’s gaze and raised eyebrow. “Me?” He repeats, almost falling over in front of him and prompting you to slow down.

“Yeah,” You naturally follow up, skating ahead of him and moving your hands back into his as you try skating backwards this time. “as my no. 1 fan—and by that I mean my best friend who always scolds me before and after the games but cheers on me wildly during—what do you think?”

You observe Seungmin without too much anticipation in your expression in case he correctly guesses that you’re expecting a certain answer from him.

“I’ve already told you before...” He eventually trails off after a moment before glancing at you again and sighing. “...it’s just, you look like you’re having fun but—”

“But it’s dangerous.“

“But you should play less.” He corrects seriously, skating the arms distance between the two of you and placing his hands on your upper arms, holding you in place. With this gesture, you look up at him with a confused expression, trying to decipher all the thoughts that seem to run over a mile a second in the way he glances back at you. “I’m always behind you and whatever you do, even if it’s dangerous and stupid, that’s what best friends do—but even that has limits sometimes.”

You pause. For some reason, you don’t think of an immediate and witty comeback to lighten what has unconsciously become a sincere atmosphere, your thoughts lingering instead to the conversation you had with Yuna just last night.

“Who even drives people to places even when they don’t want to?” You hear your friend loud and clear in your mind, almost nagging even.

Definitely not Seungmin, you think to yourself, especially if it’s another person like Hyunjin or Jeongin...

“Y/N?” Seungmin suddenly calls for you, his voice just barely above a whisper as he hesitantly lets go of your arms and snaps you out of your daze.

Blinking twice up at him, you catch him just in time before he can even skate back away from you, holding him by his fingertips. “So...” You trail off, furrowing your eyebrows in thought. “so yes, no, maybe—?”

“Maybe.” He finishes the thought for you, rubbing the nape of his neck awkwardly before huffing slightly in the cold, a puff of white air escaping his pink lips. “That’s a maybe too, I guess.”

You nod slowly in acknowledgement, tugging him forwards. “So, in conclusion,” You reply slowly, changing your direction again as you now move yourself and Seungmin to the very center of the rink before breaking out into a chuckle to diffuse the unnecessarily tense atmosphere. “let’s get back to it after the summer?”

“That and don’t play derby when the time comes that you’re actually in Championships.” Seungmin points out, catching up with you now so you’re skating next to each other again. “Multi-tasking isn’t really your strongest suit.”

“Ya!” You protest, elbowing him gently and making him laugh.

“I was just kidding!” When you try skating away from him, Seungmin latches onto your elbow and desperately pulls you back to his side, barely missing another threat of a fall. “Don’t let go, I’ll trip!”

“Says the one who called me clumsy that I can’t multitask.” You roll your eyes with an amused chuckle

“We just had a really heartfelt talk and that’s all you picked up?” Seungmin feigns a frown at you, tightening his arms linked to yours. “You’re unbelievable sometimes.”

“It’s not like we don’t always talk about it.” You scoff, pulling Seungmin close by linking your arms again. “Though, I am a bit surprised with today’s answer. You just always know how to re-word the same thing a bunch of times, huh?”

“You brought it up and I answered sincerely.” He gestures to you with a tilt of his head, looking down on his skates after. “I didn’t even know my opinion was that important to you. I mean, you have been ignoring it for 2 months straight.”

“Like I said, no. 1 fan.” You grin before nudging him by his shoulder. “And I don’t ignore your opinion, I’ve been retiring from the game itself earlier like you asked me to before!”

“As if that makes a difference.” He rolls his eyes, pursing his lips before he could comment further. “You still play 3/4 of the game, anyway.”

“We’re going to argue about this for the whole morning if ever, Kim Seungmin.” You chuckle, holding his hand again and leading him to another spin around the rink. “Let’s just skate freely for now, hm?”

Coach Park arrives an hour earlier than she intended later on while you and Seungmin ate your bento boxes, prompting your best friend to not return to the ice after and to simply watch you from the stands instead. When your training ends almost five hours later, you’re quick to change back into your shoes in the locker rooms to return back to Seungmin’s side, making even your coach laugh in amusement.

“I’ll see you next week Thursday, correct?” Coach Park asks you as she readies to shut the power off the venue, still chuckling every time she glances at you standing next to Seungmin by the entrance. “Those wounds should improve by then so we can start landing at least half of your jumps.”

You nod, adjusting your gym bag on your one shoulder. “I’ll rest until then, promise!”

Coach Park then turns to Seungmin with a feigned strict look, pointing at you as she then instructs, “Look after them, Kim, alright? I trust you’ll keep Y/N in check until then.”

“I will, coach.” Seungmin assures with a nod and a smile himself, slinging an arm over your waist to help you balance yourself before turning you towards the direction of the entrance doors and concluding, “We’ll be off now!”

“Alright, see you!” You hear coach Park bid you goodbye before you pass through the double doors of the entrance, getting pulled to the direction of the parking lot by Seungmin after.

“I thought you’re buying me an extra bento box? And iced coffee?” You ask when you don’t make the turn leading to the College of Architecture, following Seungmin straight ahead to his car parked right across the building entrance anyway. “Ya, Minnie—”

“I texted Changbin to buy, it should be at your dorm’s kitchen by now.” Seungmin answers casually, taking out his keys from his hoodie pocket and pointing it to his car. Once you near the vehicle, he then opens the door for you on the front passenger seat, wordlessly taking your gym bag and placing it in the back along with his backpack. “If not, then I’ll just drive back here, I don’t have anywhere to be today.”

You smile at the thought, happily putting on your seatbelt. “I love you, have I said that this week?” You chuckle, wrapping an arm behind his waist in a side hug before he can close the door. “You’re the best, capt.!”

“It’s weird when you call me capt.” He feigns a scowl, patting your head and briefly hugging you back anyway. “And you only love me because I practically babysit you.”

"I never even asked to be babysit in the first place.” You pout, following him with your eyes even when he closes the door and moves to the other side of the vehicle to the driver’s seat. Turning your body to his direction as he turns on the ignition and starts driving away, you then add, “You’re supposed to say you love me too, capt.”

Seungmin rolls his eyes in an attempt to move your eyes away from the wild blush on his cheeks. “Put your seatbelt on.” He steers the conversation instead, placing a hand behind your headrest as he backs the car away from the parking.

“‘I love you too’?”

“What do you want to do when we get to your dorm?”

“Okay, I’ll take that. How about you choose the movie for today?”

three - wednesday

Though he never demands you for it from knowing full-well your own busy training schedule and classes, you’ve always made sure to attend each and every baseball game Seungmin participates in ever since you were children to cheer him on and he’s always thought that that’s your own version of showing your affection to him in return for his support for you. Though you can get a bit embarrassing cheering on him the loudest and always wearing his extra old jerseys to the games, he never complains about it anyway and only argues with you after the game about other things, mostly you skipping your own training to see him or attending his games instead of resting at home like today. It definitely is love—simultaneously a heartwarming and worrying one at that.

So today, at his baseball team’s scrimmage, he’s not even that surprised anymore when you show up with Jeongin by your side, insisting that your cuts and bruises are already manageable enough to let you walk without needing much help. He is, however, still worried over your well-being as usual.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks you for the fourth time since you met up right outside the field, an arm draped over your shoulder as you walk. Ahead of you, Jeongin and Yuna have already reserved seats along with the rest of your friend group, chatting away with some members of the team. “And you’re not skipping any training today?”

“I already told you, Minnie,” You giggle, limping a little from your blisters and leaning most of your weight to him with your hand on his waist. “My next training’s next week, you were even there when Coach Park reminded me! And it’s not like I’m playing, I’m just going to watch you today!”

“I’m mainly worried about your blisters since you were training last Sunday. You could’ve just rested at the dorms today.” He points out, sitting you down next to Jeongin on the aisle before kneeling right in front of you. “It’s just a scrimmage, anyway.”

“But I don’t want to miss a game,” You insist stubbornly, smiling reassuringly at him and his furrowed eyebrows. “and even if it’s just a scrimmage, it’s still you playing. I want to see you play.”

With this, Seungmin eventually sighs in defeat. “Whatever, not like I can walk you home now and get back to the game in time.”

“I’m already here and you can’t do anything about it.” You affirm with a chuckle, patting his arm. “Now, go, shoo, you have a scrimmage to win.”

Seungmin then turns to Jeongin, gesturing to you as he stands up, “Look after Y/N, please?”

“If you mean look after them as in not letting them topple over the seats then sure.” Jeongin nods with a laugh.

“Hey, I don’t—!”

But, as if ignoring your protests, Seungmin nods gratefully and bids you two goodbye. “Thanks!” He then turns to his teammates before you could even finish another sentence, ushering everyone to jog back to the field. “Okay, guys, chat time’s over. Let’s head to the field!”

“Ay, Seung, don’t get too flustered over Y/N now!” Jisung reminds him with a hand over the younger boy’s shoulders and a snicker, tapping on the mound with his glove as the two reach their designated positions. “Jeno’s pitching, too, you might get hit in the face if you’ll just keep looking at your Y/N.”

“Shut up, Ji.” Seungmin rolls his eyes, tapping on the mound as well with his bat just as Jeno signals from across the diamond, preparing to pitch. With one last glance at you, he then mutters to himself, “Aish, why did they even come today? They’re injured.”

Jisung opens his mouth to speak behind his helmet to ask what Seungmin could mean with his last comment but he’s inadvertently cut off by Jeno signaling for everyone to get ready, expertly throwing the first ball which Seungmin instinctively hits hard with his bat, prompting him to start running to first base before Daehwi and Eunwoo could even retrieve it by the chain link fences of the field, thus leaving Jisung to his thoughts.

“Yay, let’s go Kim Seungmin!” You cheer and yell from the bleachers, almost standing up with a struggle until Jeongin pulls you down by your arms, most likely to remind you of your injuries, which Seungmin is more than grateful for. “Go Minnie! Number 22! Number 22!”

As he runs, Seungmin makes sure to wave at you in responds when he passes by your bleachers, sending a bashful smile your way that only fuels more teasing from Jeongin without him noticing. You wave both hands back in response before he could turn his eyes back ahead, sinking in your seat as he now tries to aim for second base seeing everyone moving a bit slower than usual.

Eventually, he makes it to second base just in time, sliding into the plate and narrowly missing Daehwi’s attempt at getting him out.

“Yay, let’s go Seungmin!” He hears you yell and clap loudly again, making his ears heat up and everyone in the diamond to stifle their giggles.

“Hey, isn’t Y/N injured from last Saturday?” Daehwi asks at belatedly noticing your presence.

Seungmin then stands up and dusts the dirt off his uniform, adjusting his cap and turning his focus to Jeno and Hyunjin (who bats next) ahead. “I insisted that they skip today’s game since it’s just a scrimmage but you know how they are.”

“Really? That’s so sweet!” Daehwi squeals in delight, waving at you and the others from others bleachers. “and here everyone thought that Y/N skipping training was already cute enough! They just outdo themselves every time!”

“Way to romanticize injuries, Dae.” Seungmin scoffs, hiding a smile from Daehwi. Simultaneously, Jeno signals again that the game is about to start, preparing to pitch. “Seriously, it’s not cute. I’m more worried than flattered.”

“Right, because waving at them while running was definitely being worried,” Daehwi chuckles, getting in position again. “Just say you’re whipped and go.”

“You wish,” Seungmin scrunches up his nose, successfully dodging Daehwi again and leaving him on the second base. “but I do have to get going now!”

“Ya!”

“Woo! Go Seungmin!” You yell loudly and repeatedly again, until he successfully reaches home base which prompts you to finally stand up and jump around in cheer despite the pain your lower half. “Way to go Seungmin!”

Seungmin can only roll his eyes at you as he walks off the field, scoffing in disbelief when you don’t stop cheering even as he approaches you from the other side of the chain link fences since he’s already done for this particular inning.

“Why are you up? You’re injured.” He frowns, his hands going up the chain links. “Sit down, Y/N.”

“I’m fine!” You dismiss, sitting down anyway when Jeongin and Yuna start tugging on your shirt for you to sit down. “But, more importantly, you did well!”

“It’s just the first inning—and a scrimmage.”

“Scrimmage, formal game, it’s all the same, you don’t have to say it twice.” You retort, rolling your eyes and chuckling. “You looked really cool out there!”

The last comment definitely catches Seungmin off-guard but he hides it better this time, waving his hand in front of him. “It was nothing.”

“So modest,” You scoff with a proud smile, leaning forward and linking your hands between the chain links. “What do you want after the game? Ice cream? Tteokbeokki?”

“Don’t stand up too much during the game and I’ll think about it,” He answers instead. “and we’re not going anywhere after this with your injuries. I’m taking you straight home.”

“Fine.” You huff in defeat, gesturing to his teammates after. “Okay, now go back, Jeno’s looking at us weird.”

“Don’t stand up again!”

“I won’t!”

Seungmin meets up with you again after the game. When the scrimmage ends later that afternoon with Jeno’s team winning at 14-18 and everyone heading straight to the showers, he sees you with Jeongin right outside of the locker rooms, sitting on a nearby bench while the younger boy pesters you with questions on your summer training and last Saturday’s game.

“Hey, Y/N!” Jisung, accompanying Seungmin on the way out, greets you with an innocent slap to your back before your best friend could, making you wince in pain. “Oh, shit, sorry!”

“Ya,” Seungmin reprimands him firmly, slapping Jisung’s hand away from you before helping you up from the bench. “Careful, Y/N’s injured.”

“Why?” Jisung asks curiously, making everyone turn to him.

“Derby last Saturday.” You answer sheepishly, leaning your weight to Seungmin again appreciatively as he helps you balance yourself. “Got knocked out before scoring a point.”

“You would’ve seen if you didn’t have a date that day.” Hyunjin adds, playfully catching Jisung in a chokehold as your group now walks out of the lockers rooms and outside the field. “It was so bloody as fuck, they were against the league veterans!”

“You make it sound like I died and got resurrected.” You scoff, reaching out for Hyunjin with a struggle and slapping his arm.

“Don’t entertain him too much, he’s just dramatic.” Seungmin assures you, eliciting protests from Hyunjin.

“Really?” Meanwhile, Jisung frowns in jealously, prying Hyunjin off of him and kicking him from behind his knees as a comeback. “Ay, I really would’ve gone if only Haneul liked watching derby.”

“They don’t seem to like watching sports in general,” Jeongin points out bluntly, you nodding along to his right. “why are you still going out with this person, even? Clearly, they’re not interested in your major passion.”

“Because I like them,” the boy in question shrugs without hesitation, making you tilt your head in confusion. “I mean, Haneul’s cool but we—I guess we never really talked about the whole sports thing.”

“Why not? Bro, you’re aiming for the national team.” Hyunjin prods this time. By now, your group has reached and stopped on the sidewalk of the main campus road where you’re supposed to part ways since Jeno’s hosting a get-together but Seungmin’s insisted on taking you home. “In a few years, it’s gonna be weird being in games and having one less person to cheer you on, especially if that person’s your girlfriend.”

“Well, not everyone’s lucky enough to being in love with people who have similar hobbies as they do.” Jisung rolls his eyes dryly, his gaze instinctively landing to you and Seungmin after which only prompts you to raise an eyebrow while Seungmin glares at Jisung.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, making Jisung chuckle.

“Nothing, nothing.” He waves his hand dismissively at you before turning to Hyunjin and Jeongin. “Anyway, Haneul and I will talk about it again more later on. Personally, I’m not that bothered right now—I’m just happy we get to hang out.”

“But that’s because you started dating before any major games.” Seungmin speaks up after a while.

Jeongin nods in agreement. “We’ll really just have to see next Friday if you still think that way.”

“Seung, Y/N always attends our games so I don’t think you’re qualified to speak over my love life.” Jisung deadpans, prompting Seungmin to hit him again. “Ow! But it’s true!”

“What?” You scoff, finally getting what he means but pretending to not know anyway in embarrassment.

“Whatever.” Seungmin huffs dismissively at Jisung, directing you away from the group now. “Anyway, we’ll get going now. It’s getting late.”

“We’re seriously going home?” You frown up at Seungmin who’s now standing behind you, both his hands on your shoulders as he moves you to the opposite direction of where the rest of the boys are going. “I was hoping you’d change your mind last minute.”

“I didn’t bring my car here today and Jeno’s dorm’s on the other side of campus.” Seungmin answers your question, waving goodbye to the others. “Come on, let’s go home. We can order again or something.”

“Fine.” You sigh in defeat, letting him walk you backwards as you reluctantly wave goodbye at everyone. “Bye, guys. I guess I’ll see you next Friday.”

“Bye!” Hyunjin, Jisung, and Jeongin wave back at you as they laugh over your frown, the eldest boy making sure to add, “Have fun on your date!”

“It’s not a date!” You yell back at him in exasperation, making the three laugh.

“We’ll make sure to eat well for you!” Jisung teases, winking at you before Seungmin could pull you to the left turn leading back to your dorms. Before you completely part ways, you hear him yell, “Alright, now let’s eat samgyeopsal!”

Heading back to your dorm now, Seungmin stands next to you again, draping his arm over your shoulder again and matching your pace. You walk in comfortable silence for a while, that is until you think about Jisung’s words once again, prompting you to ask, “What was that about by the way?”

“What?”

“The thing with Haneul.” You clarify, tearing your gaze away from him to look down on the ground. “Jisung said something about other people being lucky that they like people who have similar hobbies then looked at you.”

“Looked at me? I thought he was looking at you?” Seungmin tries to joke awkwardly before stopping when you don’t laugh along. “It’s nothing, he’s just being weird.”

You furrow your eyebrows, looking up at him only to meet his side profile. Taking a quick inhale, you then try asking, “Seungmin...do you perhaps—do you like anyone lately?”

At that, Seungmin almost trips over nothing uncharacteristically, his grip on your shoulder accidentally tightening when he holds onto you for support. “Sorry, um—w-what?”

“It’s just,” You shrug awkwardly, feeling smaller under his arm now that your impulsive question suddenly made the air awkward. You walk slower now, despite your dorm being only a block away now. “what Jisung said and—and, you know, you’ve been busy lately.”

“Yeah, because of you and classes.” He points out, still with furrowed eyebrows. “I don’t—I don’t have time to date.”

“But do you want to?”

“Hm?”

“I-If you weren’t busy with classes, training...looking after my clumsy ass and all—would you...would you want to date anyone? Do you like...someone?” You clarify as clearly and as eloquently as you can against the pain on your feet from walking and the sudden loud hammering of your heart against your chest. Why did I even ask? You can only scold yourself internally, keeping a front anyway now that you’re in too deep to change the topic now.

Next to you, Seungmin thinks about your question carefully. He’s not actually thinking about the question per se, more like thinking about why you would ask such question. Are you expecting some kind of answer? “I...” He trails off in thought, catching your gaze momentarily from the corner of his eye. “N-No, not really.”

“Oh.” You muse out loud, trying your best to hide your disappointment. “I guess that’s understandable. You’re aiming for the national team, after all.”

Seungmin then stops walking altogether, making you stop. In front of you, you see your dorm building coming into view, confusing you even more when he moves in front of you.

“No, it’s....“ He shrugs, looking down on his hands before flitting his eyes up again to you. “all my time’s for you, classes, and training right now and it’s fine. Sure, the end goal’s the national team but at the same time, I have all I need right now—dating just so happens to not really a top priority right now.”

You nod slowly with a low hum, smiling at his sincerity after a while. “So I’m top priority?”

At your comment, his sincere facade immediately fades into a scoff, rubbing his temples up in frustration. “I answer your question sincerely and all you pick up is you being a priority?” He asks in disbelief, making you laugh. “And here I was, about to offer you piggyback again.”

“I was just kidding!” You bluff in between laughs, extending your arms out for him to carry you. “Piggyback, please! I live on the third floor!”

“Maybe if you didn’t respond weirdly to my emotional rant—“

“Ya, Seungmin!” You protest, hopping on your better foot and jumping on his back before he could even move away from you. “Ha! Got you!”

Reluctantly, Seungmin then adjusts the strap of his gym bag on his shoulder and hooks his arms under your legs. “If you’re not so injured right now, I’d drop you on the ground.” He hoists you up on his back with a groan, continuing to walk forward anyway. “Ah, this brat.”

You chuckle, pinching his cheeks before resting your arms on his shoulders. “But seriously...” You trail off with an awkward cough. “Just date, dude, you can multitask, better than me at least.”

You then hear Seungmin mumble under his breath, “Maybe if...” but you fail to catch the last words as he then shakes his head and adds, “Ah, whatever. How did we even get to this kind of talk?”

five - saturday

As if the universe is conspiring against you, you end up getting severely injured halfway through your next derby game the following Saturday. When the score is 45-70 in favor of the opposing team, you end up taking a nasty fall after successfully scoring a point, causing a broken nose.

So much for all the talks you had with Seungmin in the past days, you think to yourself as you catch his surprised gaze from across the rink.

Maybe it’s also because of how you’ve been talking to him a lot lately about his concerns for you and this sport that he immediately rushes to your side as Yuna and Yeji help you walk from the rink to the locker room as Jaemin suddenly announces a short break. Quickly and gently taking your arm from Yeji’s shoulder from the sides of the rink, the next three minutes are a bit of a blur to you as Seungmin multitasks between examining your bruises, assuring your teammates that he can take care of you, and walking you to the nearest bathroom—all the while scolding you under his breath.

You can only pout at him the whole way, letting him drag you along with him until he’s hoisting you up again on top of the sink counter much like every other Saturday.

Except it feels a bit different this time, especially since Seungmin has never looked this worried since you started this sport 2 months ago.

“Okay, let’s see that bloody nose again.” He asks you after a while, tilting your face downwards with his one hand (the other holding an ice pack from Jaemin) and scrunching up his nose with furrowed eyebrows. “Yikes.”

“I’m sort of choking here a bit.” You point out, shifting uncomfortably in your place at the feeling of blood on your tongue and the realization that you also have small cuts on your lips. “Um...”

You see his eyebrows furrow deeper in thought as he then turns to his side and places his backpack next to you, temporarily placing the ice pack in the space between your leg and his backpack and taking out a first aid kit. “That bad? Fuck.” He hisses under his breath, more to himself than to you, as he proceeds to prepare a whole bag of cotton balls, wipes, and ointment. “I can clean and ice this up but we’ll have to go immediately after this and get you checked out at the clinic across the street.”

“Really?” You wince at seeing Seungmin hold up a wet wipe to your face. “So I can’t finish the game?”

“You’re face is broken and you’re thinking about the game? Y/N, please...” He sighs disapprovingly at you, cupping your chin again and lightly dabbing on the trail of blood on your face with the wet wipe. “Try to hold in the pain for a bit while I clean your face and maybe try not to think about the game.”

"Sorry...” You trail off, pouting up at Seungmin and earning you another sigh from him.

“This is the worst I’ve seen you.” He muses out loud, his furrowed eyebrows slowly softening as he purses his lips. “What even happened back there? It was all too quick for me, to be honest.”

“The other team’s jammer bumped me a bit too harsh.” You reply slowly, careful of the blood on your lips and the sting you feel from inhaling. In front of you, Seungmin unconsciously winces through carefully cleaning your face. “We were skating on the slope going up so I ended up hitting my face on the barriers.”

“They’re visitors, right?” He asks you next and you nod quietly in response. “I’ll have to remind Jaemin to talk to them. If not, I’ll talk to them myself...”

“Seungmin—”

“You fell really bad, they should be accountable.” He insists anyway. “Even if derby’s a violent sport, there are still limits to it and this is just too much.”

You unconsciously mirror Seungmin’s frown the longer he stares down at the bloodied lower half of your face, your shoulders slouching deeply when he finally reaches the end of the drying red trail on your chin with his third wet wipe. The physical pain of a broken nose and a bruised lip can’t even compete with the guilt pooling in your stomach now as you observe your best friend’s disappointed expression, making you wince less and sigh more in front of him at knowing full well that it’s all because of how you played tonight. “Just say it already.”

“Say what?” He mumbles back, now with a raised eyebrow at you as he disposes off the used wet wipes next to you on top of the sink counter. He then passes you the ice pack, guiding your hands to slowly move it up to your nose. “Where’s this coming from all of a sudden?”

You see the genuine anticipation in his eyes of what you meant by your words, making you look down on your free hand rested right on top of the faint bruise marks on your lap. “That I’m being stupid for pursuing this sport, that I should stop playing.” You answer quietly as you shift in your seat. “It’s just that we were talking about this exact thing for the whole week and then it happens and now you look so upset so I thought...”

In front of you, you hear Seungmin sigh before gently tilting your chin up again, meeting your eyes with a soft gaze before moving his hands up to carefully massage your cheeks. “Ya, you’re not stupid,” He shakes his head. “you’re just clumsy sometimes but that’s because you keep forgetting that you’re supposed to be on wheels here and not blades.”

“Ya—”

“And this incident wasn’t your fault.” He adds after a while, when you don’t immediately speak. “I’m not mad at you, just frustrated. I’m mad at the other team, though.”

"Seungmin—” You huff in his touch, cracking a small and brief smile on his face.

“Anyway, I still think you should lessen playing, especially since the semester’s about to start again.” He interjects quickly before you can even say another word, briefly turning to your side to pass you another bundle of face tissues when he hears you sniffling. “but I’ll never ask you to stop playing completely because I know you really enjoy this. The same applies to the other one, of course.”

“Besides, what sport doesn’t involve getting hurt?” He adds as an after thought, taking out two plies of tissue for your incoming cold and the stray tear on your cheek.

“Um, board games?” You muse out loud as you take the tissues in his hands and place them in between your face and your ice pack, fully cracking his serious façade this time as he breaks into a scoff.

“You know what I mean.” You see Seungmin roll his eyes at you, making you purse your lips as a smile tries making its way on your cuts. When he sees your reaction, his thumb instinctively moves over to your bottom lip, stopping you from smiling. “Don’t smile, dummy, we just fixed that lip cut.”

The gesture makes your heart flip and your gaze unconsciously softens at him as you watch him dispose of all your trash with a small ‘alright, done.’ under his breath. “Have I told you I love you this week?” You speak in a low voice with no intention of sounding teasing at all this time, giving him a tight-lipped smile when he looks up at you again in confusion. “You’re the best, capt.”

It takes him a moment to process your words, especially with the unusual tone in your voice. Eventually, you see him return your smile. “You already did. I’m just looking out for you as usual.” He shrugs bashfully, offering you a hand which you gladly accept when you stand. “I love you too...”

“I know.” You nod, tugging on him by your intertwined hands and pressing a light kiss on his cheek when he tilts his head to your side. “I’m sorry again.”

“You’re being soft all of a sudden.” He points out, biting down a small smile. “It’s probably the fall.”

You roll your eyes at him, pressing the ice pack closer to your face. “How many minutes do I have to hold this ice again?”

“If you’re thinking of throwing that on my face, I’ll have you know I can deny you entry on my game next Friday.” He warns, placing his hand on the ice pack again to check your wound. “Fifteen more minutes. I’ll text Jaemin and Yeji for now, the clinic should still be open at this time.”

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shhhhyoursister · 3 years

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photographer!au

hey yall this is the first of the unfinished aus im going to be uploading, im leaving in all my notes and unedited bits so you can see the process and everything!!! i hope you all enjoy!!!!!!!!!

Matteo felt a bit like a ghost at times, with the way he slowly paced the hallways of his home. It wouldn’t be too out of character for him to have become a ghost without even realizing it, especially being alone in an old, large, dismally lit house for as long as he had been. He was sure the air was swimming with spirits, could tell from the shadows that would quietly slip from room to room, slithering along the walls with nothing really there to cast them.

When he was a kid, he was terrified of his house. Understandably, considering the constant creaking and tapping and thudding that came from the basement, the attic, even the walls in Matteo’s own room. His parents would always tell him “Houses just make sounds, Matteo, you have to get over it,” and eventually he did (figure out how to end)

(start new paragraph) around the time he started realizing how much of a ghost he was, amongst his family and even his friends. Quiet, woeful, longing for some kind of life to live. He could sympathize with them, and his fear vanished.

(rearrange) It still made him laugh, though. His house looked haunted, from the outside and the inside, and the fact that it was surrounded on almost all sides with dense, thick, dark woods didn’t help. Matteo was still sometimes horrified by the noises he heard coming from outside, never knowing quite what was out there. At least his father had updated all the locks before he left.

Another ghost, but one that managed to escape.

The more Matteo thought about it, everyone in his house was a ghost in some way. His father left, leaving almost no trace except for the money that went into the house and Matteo’s bank account, keeping the place safe and livable for a young adult who had never lived on his own before. His mother was also gone, but her departure was much more like something out of an actual scary story. He didn’t like to think about it.

Matteo filled the silence of the empty house with music. He had begged (guilted) his father into buying him a set of bluetooth speakers that were always playing something, usually quieter stuff or instrumentals when he was feeling it. It helped make the house feel more alive, make Matteo feel more alive and connected to the world, and honestly helped hide the noises that would come from any direction with no warning.

He knew that he could also feel more connected to the word if he ever went out into it, but it had been a few months. Sometimes Jonas or Hanna would come over, but people didn’t tend to stay long. He could get why, but it didn’t make him feel better about it. He couldn’t control where he lived, his family was making sure of that. Something about the house being in their family since it was built, it was an important piece of their history, whatever. Matteo was just waiting for some distant cousin of his to call him and say they’re moving in; he was pretty sure he had heard whispers of it happening soon.

The only times he really saw people, besides the couple times a month his friends would dare to enter the house, was when he went out to buy food or weed, the only essentials he had been restocking. He couldn’t remember the last time he got a new shirt, or pair of shoes. He sometimes worried that he had forgotten how to communicate outside of simple small talk and asking for an ounce, with how little he saw people. He didn’t even know if the people physically closest to him could be considered neighbors, as the amount of miles his property took up was too much for him to think about. He sure as hell never saw them around.

Which was why it was so strange when Matteo saw him for the first time.

He wasn’t as scared as he should’ve been to see a dark figure creeping around his property. He was mostly confused, as he lived far enough from any real towns that he had to actually learn how to drive, and had an old pickup truck parked outside to prove it. He looked out the other windows, and didn’t see any cars or anything else outside. It was dark out, and especially dark with the trees around him, and he didn’t even have any lights on his house besides the small lamp next to the couch and his TV. He had been watching something when he noticed the person.

He started wondering if it even was a person. There were tons of wild animals that could have come out of the woods, sniffing around his property looking for scraps. He had seen bears behind his house before, and there was no reason to assume that the thing outside was a person.

Until, as Matteo watched from the window, there was a bright flash from where the figure was standing. Matteo jumped back, yanked the curtain closed, his heart pounding in his chest. He had no clue what the flash was but it confirmed that there was definitely a person behind his house.

The person was still far away, right at the edge of the woods, and Matteo didn’t feel like he was in any imminent danger. He slid the curtain open the tiniest bit, just enough so he could peek an eye out, and saw another flash. After that second flash the figure stood still for a moment, and then bent down, and stood up, lifting what looked like a bike up off the ground. The person mounted the bike, and rode away quickly. Matteo watched the bike disappear in the direction he knew the road was, and he let out a breath.

It might have just been a weird neighbor who got turned around on a nightly bike ride, even though he had been warned since he was a baby to not go outside his house without some kind of light to scare away potential animals. Or maybe it was someone from some organization in his area, making sure the properties were being taken care of. Matteo thought of a million excuses, all of them seeming rational enough to not panic. He triple checked his locks before going to bed, and everything looked good, so he made sure his phone was fully charged and he pulled an old baseball bat out of a closet just in case. Better safe than sorry.

He was still thinking about it the next morning, as he stood at the door leading out the back of his house, steaming a mug of coffee clutched in both hands. No matter the season it was always freezing in the mornings where he lived, and to compensate he was wearing his purple jacket over a sweater over a long-sleeved shirt, two pairs of sweatpants, and a pair of fuzzy rainbow socks over a more boring white pair. The socks had been a gift from Abdi his first birthday after coming out to them, and he had rolled his eyes in the moment but they quickly became his favorite things to slip on in the morning.

He took a sip of the coffee as he stared over the grass leading to the woods, feeling warmth spread all the way to the tips of his fingers. He leaned back against the doorframe, took another sip and then dropped his head back and closed his eyes. He hadn’t slept great the night before, still too full of adrenaline from the person on the bike to even close his eyes. He shivered a little, remembering the previous night, and looked out again, at the spot where he had first noticed the figure.

He was about to turn away, go back inside to text Jonas about the whole thing and joke about it to make himself feel less nervous, but his eyes caught on something. Something flat and dark, lying in the grass, he couldn’t quite make it out but it looked like a book. He stared at it for a good few minutes, and then placed his coffee cup down and wrapped his arms around himself, shoved his feet in the boots he kept by the door, and started walking towards the woods.

There was a wet chill in the air, and he could see his breath as it shakily left his lips. His heart was pounding again, his hands shaking a little where they were clutching his sides, but he strode on, his eyes fixed on the book. He reached the spot, and stood some feet away, glancing around as if the person was going to come running out and snatch the book out from under him. He didn’t see anyone, didn’t hear anything besides the usual morning song of the birds around him, and the rustling trees, and he bent down as quick as he could and grabbed the book.

It was cold, was what he noticed at first, so much so that he almost dropped it right away. He wrapped his hand in his sleeve and looked at it, his second observation being that it seemed to be a journal or something, with no title on the cover or the side, the front and back a dark, brown leather. He tucked it under his arm and quickly shuffled back inside, closing the door behind him and putting the book next to his coffee so he could reabsorb some warmth. Once he could feel his hands again, he looked at the book, and felt a chill go through him that wasn’t from the cold.

Great, he thought to himself, his breathing picking up as he did so, the mysterious dark figure creeping around your backyard in the dark totally isn’t going to be mad that you took their journal. They totally aren’t going to come get it back and they totally aren’t going to have a weapon and they totally aren’t going to kill you when they see that the only person here is a scrawny gay baby who hasn’t even talked to another person in two weeks.

Not the most helpful path for his mind to take. His eyes were still fixed on the book, his brain spitting out thousands of awful things that could be inside it, and he quickly walked over and flipped the cover open. And he titled his head.

The first thing he saw wasn’t words like he was expecting, but what looked like a drawing stuck onto what Matteo thought was a photograph. The background was a dark tree, the black leaves clear and crisp against the background, and the sketch on top was of a bird. It was cool, even if it belonged to someone who was going to come kill Matteo to get it back.

[He flipped the next page, and saw a drawing of a boy in what looked like a dress, with his fist up, and an angry face. He flipped to the next one and saw some sketches of a few different random faces, probably not random to whoever owned the book. He kept looking through the pages, eventually grabbing the book and turning page after page as he started his usual ghostly path around the house. (change to more generic creepy sketches/photographs of houses and Matteo realizes that that’s probably why he was taking pics but he keeps flipping and sees some more personal sketches and some of people)

He must have flipped through hundreds of sketches, photographs stuck onto paper, and combinations of the two, which he knew there was a word for but he couldn’t think of it no matter how hard he tried. When he got to the last page, a little disappointed to be nearing the end, he saw one blank page. The page right before it had a fox, with writing at the bottom that Matteo didn’t read before his attention was caught by the only completely white page in the book.]

He shook his head, dropping the book back onto the table in his kitchen, deciding to forget about it until he ate something and called Jonas to whine to him about it.

He walked to his fridge and pulled it open, frowning when he noticed how empty it was. He sighed as he realized that he needed to go shopping, and looked in all the drawers, only finding a few random pieces of fruit, some tupperwares of old leftovers that he needed to throw out, and some beer. He really needed to go shopping. He pulled the freezer open and smiled when he saw a carton of ice cream he had forgotten he had bought. He wasn’t below eating ice cream for breakfast.

He pulled it out and set it on the counter, and heard a sudden thud thud thud on the wall closest to him. He jumped, but rolled his eyes, and said out loud, “I’m sorry Helena, but I don’t have anything else!”

There was another thud and then quiet, and then a weird scraping sound that got quieter and farther away. He didn’t have names for all of the ghosts in his house, but there were a few prominent ones. He had made up a story about Helena, an old cook who died in a tragic onion slicing incident, who was going to spend the rest of her days scolding anyone in the house for inadequately feeding themselves. He would hear thud anytime he reached for candy over fruit, or pizza over vegetables, or made another pot of spaghetti instead of learning how to make anything else, or closed the fridge without taking anything out. Helena was the loudest by far.

He happily ate his ice cream, and then called Jonas. Jonas not only sounded worried, but a little annoyed at Matteo’s lack of worry about the whole situation.

“Bro, you saw someone creeping around near your house in the middle of the night, found a fucking journal in the same place the next morning, and decided to take it?” Jonas asked, his voice getting higher and higher as he spoke, “do you want to get killed?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time someone died in this house,” Matteo joked back, making a ghostly wooing noise into the phone, but Jonas didn’t seem to find the humor in the situation.

“Do you want me to come stay for a few days?”

Matteo snorted, “You? Staying over at my house? Jonas, you can barely spend five minutes here without pissing yourself.”

“It’s not my fault that my best friend lives in a fucking haunted house, but I’ll come stay if you if you need me too. I honestly might do it anyway.” Jonas said, and Matteo rolled his eyes.

“Dude, I’m fine. Weirder things have happened here.” He didn’t know how true that was, but he was hoping it would just further deter Jonas from wanting to come by. He didn’t want to spend a week with Jonas jumping at every tiny noise, insulting the ghosts that Matteo considered his friends. That might’ve been a bit of an exaggeration, but it wasn’t fun to have people in your home who were so obviously uncomfortable.

“Well, call me the second anything else happens,” Jonas said, and then said, “no, call the police first, and then call me. Promise?”

“I’m not going to call the police, dude.”

“Matteo,” Jonas said, suddenly serious in a way that made Matteo shut up, the smile slipping from his face, “I already worry about you so fucking much being out there alone, can you at least promise me that you’ll be smart about this?”

Matteo bit his lip, feeling guilty. He didn’t know Jonas worried about him so much. He sighed out, “Okay, okay, if I see anything I’ll call the police, and then you, and anyone else you think I should.”

“Probably Amira too, but don’t tell her about this because she’ll come there and kill you before that other person even has the chance.”

Matteo laughed, and heard Jonas chuckle on the other end. He did really appreciate that his friends cared about him, but he kind of wished they would show it in ways that didn’t involve him getting scolded.

“I’m definitely not going to tell her,” Matteo laughed again, and then got quiet and his own kind of serious and said, “and thanks, dude. I’m sorry I’m scaring you, but I promise I’ll be safe and if I’m not someone will know.”

“Okay, good,” Jonas sounded relieved, “and I will come visit soon, okay? I miss you, man.”

Matteo smiled. They ended the conversation, Jonas relieved that Matteo wasn’t just going to let fate take its course with things. He went back to his fridge after, started looking through the cupboards too, and made a list of everything he needed. He got himself dressed and ready to go out, and hopped in his car and started the engine.

And it didn’t start. He turned the key again, and again, and finally on the fifth try the pickup roared to life. His car was a piece of shit but it usually got him from point A to point B, so he couldn’t complain. He also didn’t have the money for a new one at all, and was planning on selling it whenever he moved to the city. He hated driving.

He made his trip out as quick as possible, feeling strange with all of the eyes of the other store patrons on him. Nobody was actually looking at him but he was so unused to being around people, especially as many as were crowded into the aisles. He grabbed everything he needed and had paid and was back in his car in under twenty minutes, a new record. He blasted music as he made the drive back to his house, and brought the groceries in and shoved them in the fridge with little thought.

He lazed around for the rest of the day until he realized he should probably start making food, and he eyed the fresh produce he had bought, trying to remember the last time he had ingested a vegetable, and he grabbed a bag of spinach and a few other things to make some nutrition-packed eggs to make up for his ice cream breakfast. There was a quiet bang on the wall next to the fridge, Helena’s usual way of giving her approval for Matteo’s food choices.

The sky had darkened as he was cooking, and he was standing in the middle of his kitchen eating the eggs out of the pan with the spatula, because why not, when he saw movement out the window. He paused with the last forkful of eggs halfway to his mouth as he tried to focus his eyes in the almost pitch black outside, and they suddenly caught on what he could only assume was the same person as the night before, standing in the exact spot Matteo had found the book, standing perfectly still.

He held his breath. The figure didn’t move for a while, at least not that Matteo could see, and he put the pan down on the counter, his hands shaking hard as he grabbed at his pocket for his phone. He had just dialed Jonas’ number, not wanting to jump to the police quite yet, when the person suddenly whipped around, grabbed their bike, and rode away, much faster than the night before. Matteo lost track of what direction the person was going in, and his eyes widened as he started panicking that that direction was towards his house.

He dropped his phone, probably the dumbest thing he could have done in the situation, and stood there hyperventilating until he caught the briefest glimpse of what had to be the figure on the bike, once again following the path back to the road. It didn’t completely calm Matteo’s nerves because the person knew that the book was gone, knew that the only house for miles around was Matteo’s and the speed that the person had left at was a little concerning. Not enough for Matteo to call Jonas, but he spent another night wide awake, eyes wide open, on the couch because for some reason it felt safer. He passed out from pure tiredness just as the sun started to creep up over the trees.

And then nothing, for a few days. Matteo found himself constantly glancing towards the windows, sure he was going to see someone right outside brandishing a weapon and demanding entry, the book, and Matteo’s life. He didn’t know why he was so sure that the person was going to kill him for taking it, but it just seemed like the kind of thing that would happen to him. He’d just become an actual ghost and haunt whatever random family member they shoved in the place to keep it in the family.

No, nothing happened until a few days later. Matteo had even started feeling less tense, his eyes darting to the window less, less convinced that he had even needed to be worried in the first place. It wasn’t the first time he had seen someone in the woods near his house, even though all of those times had been during the day and he had at least one parent in the house. It really wasn’t that big of a deal.

Until he was making himself breakfast one morning. He hadn’t wanted to hear it from Helena so he was making eggs again, with peppers instead of spinach for some variety, and he heard a bamg that didn’t sound like one of his usual visitors. He froze, but didn’t hear anything else so he continued sliding his spatula around the pan. He gasped when there was another sudden bang, and few more, and what sounded like something pounding on his door until there was a crack, and even though he wasn’t in the room he could tell by the sound that his door had been forced open.

He turned the stove off, and then again, froze completely in place. His eyes were darting around the room, eyeing the knife on the counter and the thick wooden rolling pin that was leaning out of the sink. He had options to protect himself, if only he could fucking move. He heard footsteps, heavy ones, loud ones, and he snapped into action. He grabbed the rolling pin and strode out of the room, filled with enough adrenaline to be convinced that he could take whoever had just broken into his house.

It didn’t take long for him to find the intruder. He was facing away from Matteo, and when Matteo spotted him he stopped moving. He didn’t see any weapons in the person’s hand, could only really see a large black jacket, black backpack, black pants, black shoes, and the back of a head of curly, dark hair.

Matteo shifted his weight and felt his blood run cold when the floor under him creaked. The person whipped around, and yelled out a terrified, “What the fuck?”

They stared at each other in a shocked silence. The guy in front of him didn’t seem too scary, or like he had come to kill Matteo for stealing his book. He looked scared himself, his bright brown eyes still wide, his lips parted.

“I thought-” the guy stuttered out, shaking his head in shock, “I thought this place was abandoned.”

Matteo tilted his head, wondering if he really was a fucking ghost, or maybe his house was abandoned and he was just considered abandoned along with it. He took a breath when the guy tilted his head back, and then quickly said, “Well, nobody told me that.”

He didn’t know why he was trying to joke around with the person who had just broken into his house. Remembering that fact he felt his breathing speed up a bit, his hands clenching tighter around the rolling pin, and he must have moved it enough to be noticed, because the guy quickly raised his arms, with his palms out as if Matteo had told him to put his hands up and drop any weapons.

“I promise, I really thought this place was abandoned,” he said quickly, stuttering over his words, “I’m a photographer, I take pictures of abandoned places. I promise I didn’t know anyone lived here. Please don’t call the police, this isn’t the first time I’ve accidentally broken in somewhere and they don’t like me very much.”

Matteo furrowed his brows. He noticed the strap around the other’s neck, leading down to a very fancy looking camera gently resting against his chest. His story seemed to check out, so it would have made sense for Matteo to kick the guy out with some stern words, and go to the store and buy the strongest locks on the market.

He didn’t of course, because he’s Matteo, but what he did do was drop the rolling pin to his side and ask, “What’s your name?”

The guy smiled at him, and Matteo couldn’t help but notice that it was a really great smile, and said, “I’m David, and I’m really sorry I kicked your door in. I’ll pay to replace it, and to get you new locks because the ones you have definitely aren’t doing their job.”

“Yeah, obviously,” Matteo snorted, and at the expectant look from David said, “I’m Matteo. And this place is haunted, so it’s good you weren’t trying to break in. Well, trying to break in to do something bad.”

David’s eyes lit up, and he asked, his smile growing, “Haunted?”

“Yep.” Matteo replied, popping the p, smiling when from behind him he heard what sounded like a doorknob being shaken, and then a door creaking and a thud, and said, “that one’s Timmy. He died from shock after walking in on his parents having sex.”

David laughed, his grin growing bigger until his eyes were almost shut from it, and Matteo had to tell himself that it was not the time to start ogling. Just because a boy with the prettiest smile Matteo had ever seen and the nicest laugh he had ever heard was in front of him didn’t mean he had to fall for him. Especially considering the guy had broken into his house.

David started looking around, his eyes only staying on each feature of the house for a second before moving on, and Matteo got so lost in watching his calculating gaze that he jumped when he suddenly said, “This place is amazing, when was it built?”

“Um, I don’t really know,” Matteo said, trying to think back in his memory because he was sure someone told him at some point, “a long ass time ago.”

David laughed again. Matteo’s stomach fluttered at it and he quickly turned around, running his hand over the top of some cabinet that was probably hundreds of years older than him.

“If you want,” he started, ignoring the voice in the back of his head that sounded suspiciously like Jonas yelling at him not to, “you can still take pictures here. If you want it to look authentic you might have to move my Switch and the flatscreen but I’m sure we can work something out.

“No, it’s okay. I don’t want to intrude, I’ve already done that enough.” David replied, shaking his head, though his eyes were still roving around the room, his fingers twitching towards the camera around his neck.

Matteo shrugged, “You wouldn’t be intruding. I don’t really do much, as long as you don’t steal my shit or look through my stuff I don’t really care.”

It was dumb as fuck for him to offer a complete stranger free range of his home, his home in the middle of nowhere, a complete stranger who again, had broken into his house, but it didn’t seem like he needed to be scared of David. He seemed nice, and was way too apologetic about the situation to have any ulterior motives. Matteo hoped, at least. And what did he really care if a cute boy came around a few times to take pictures of his house?

“Are you sure? I can pay you a bit, or have my sister bake you something in return. Is there anything you want?”

Matteo smirked, and said, “Just knock next time and you’re good.”

David smiled back, held a hand out, and said, “You’ve got a deal.”

Matteo grabbed his hand, but quickly pulled away when the second their skin touched, he felt a shock. He looked at his hand, and then back at David who was doing the same, and said, “Might have to cancel that arrangement if you have superpowers.”

“Well, you live in a haunted house, how do I know you aren’t a ghost? Maybe I shouldn’t be accepting offers from ghouls anyway.” David quipped, the corners of his mouth turning up.

“A little late for that, we did shake on it.” Matteo replied, smiling at the back and forth. He hadn’t had such smooth conversation with someone who wasn’t a close friend in years. He kept trying to remind himself that David was there in his house because he broke in, kept trying to stare at the scratches on his boots from kicking the door in, but his eyes were always drawn back up to David’s face.

“Good point,” David said with a grin, and then he looked towards the door, and continued, “I should probably go, I’m sure you’re busy.”

Matteo looked down at himself, at his sweatpants and shirt that had a stain on it, and his rainbow fuzzy socks because of course he was wearing those, and said, “Yeah, lots of important business to take care of.”

“Like buying new locks? And making sure I didn’t break your door? And making sure you get the receipt for everything so I can pay you back?”

“Yep.” Matteo said, popping the p again, blushing when David smiled at him.

“I’ll let you get to that,” he said, and then his face dropped and he said, “and again, I’m so sorry about all of this. I can’t believe I broke into your house and you’re being kind to me.”

“Maybe I just want someone else here for the ghosts to focus on,” he said, and grinned when there was a bang from somewhere behind him, “It can get a little tiring.”

David looked thrilled, and started heading towards the door, calling out on his way, “I can’t wait!”

Matteo watched him walk out the door with a wink thrown over his shoulder, and walked over to the nearest wall, pressed his back against it, and slid down until his ass hit the floor. He dropped his head into his hands, and muttered to himself, “What the fuck just happened?”

There was a quiet knock on the wall a couple of inches away from his head, and he didn’t know who it was from but he appreciated it nonetheless.

***

Matteo made the executive decision to tell absolutely nobody that the first thing he did when someone broke into his house was invite him back. He knew that Jonas would be in a car on his way over in a second just to yell at Matteo in person, and he was sure Amira would learn how to teleport so she could get there first to kick his ass. He figured it was better to keep them in the dark until David turned out to actually be a murderer or something.

He did realize, about an hour after the entire situation happened while waiting for an employee at the hardware store he went to to get him the strongest locks they sold, that he and David hadn’t actually arranged a time for him to come. He didn’t have his number either obviously. And with these new locks he won’t even be able to break in if you don’t answer the door, Matteo thought to himself, laughing just as the employee walked back over. He shot Matteo a strange look as he handed the locks over, and Matteo bought them and left as quickly as he could.

It didn’t really matter too much because a few days later, just as Matteo was twisting the end of a joint he had just rolled, there was a knock on the door. He paused, knowing immediately that it was David because nobody ever came to visit him. He tucked the joint behind his ear and got up, shaking the nerves out of his hands as he walked to the door. He didn’t want to admit how much of his nerves were purely because David was attractive.

He pulled the door open and felt all the air rush out of him. David was standing there with a huge grin on his face, wearing a simple tee shirt and shorts, the camera around his neck and a bag strapped to his back. He tilted his head when Matteo didn’t say anything.

“Hey,” he said finally, stepping back and inviting David in with a slight bow and sweep of his arm, “enter if you dare.”

David took in a dramatic breath and closed his eyes as he stepped over the threshold, and then opened them again, darting around in faux fear at the surroundings. Matteo rolled his own, and crossed his arms over his chest, not really knowing what to say.

Thankfully David seemed to want to get right into working, and he stepped further into the house, his eyes darting around again with actual interest as he studied the foyer of the house. “Can we start in the kitchen?”

Matteo nodded and led him that way, hoping that he had cleaned up from cooking breakfast that morning. He was pleased to see no pots or pans out on the counters, and nothing in the sink, either. David looked around, smiling at the older features and furniture and stepped forward to look closer at the cabinets. He ran his hand over the wood, and then stepped back again, raised the camera to his face, and pressed his finger down. There was a click, the sound of the shutter going off, and then David pulled the camera away from his eye and started clicking through the buttons on it. He turned, took a picture of the open space of the kitchen, and then checked that one too.

#this was a weird but fun one that is not my usual vibe but god did i love this whole idea #davenzi #i guess????#enjoy friends i spent so much time on this

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moonflowerlesbians · 3 years

Text

I wrote the 10 year anniversary fic

She's short but she’s sweet. Please enjoy.

to be loved a whole life long

Rated T, ~2.6k.

~~~

What is an anniversary, really, if not merely a ploy to indulge in all of the little pleasures one denies on any other day? Saying, “oh, well, we ought to save it for a special occasion.”

And, what, Jamie thinks, is an occasion more special than the day marking the tenth year since she began this beautiful, insane journey with the love of her life. A woman so remarkable that Jamie almost can’t believe she’s real. Almost can’t believe that she can wake up beside the same person every morning, smelling the same fruity shampoo, spend the day working side by side, and still, every night, fall into bed, eager to pull Dani close. Then wake up the following day and do it all again.

It’s a stability Jamie never thought she would have. After years of bouncing from foster family to foster family, Bly was the closest thing to home she’d ever had. Until, that is, these ten, wonderful years with Dani in the flat they share above the little shop that they built from the ground up.

She thinks as much as beams of cozy sunlight filter through the gossamer curtains Dani picked out for their bedroom. She has an arm draped over Dani’s middle, her front to Dani’s back, her hand tracing idle circles on the plane of Dani’s stomach beneath her sleep shirt. Jamie can hear the quiet exhalations puffing against Dani’s wrist, which she’s managed to trap against her cheek. Jamie is certain she’ll be graced with complaints of pins and needles when Dani wakes. Jamie will laugh and offer to massage the numbness away, and Dani will roll her eyes but allow her limb to flop inelegantly into Jamie’s lap.

Jamie props herself up on one elbow, her fingers trailing a path from Dani’s midriff, up her arm, to brush a wayward strand of blonde hair behind her ear. Dani begins to stir as Jamie presses slow lips to the junction of her neck and shoulder, moves to the shell of her ear, her temple, the slender curve of her jaw.

Dani makes a noise low in her throat.

“Ah, there she is,” Jamie hums, her voice, though quiet, still too loud in the morning stillness.

“Thought we w’re gonna sleep in t’day,” Dani sighs, already preparing to nestle deeper into the blankets.

Jamie runs a playful finger down the bridge of Dani’s nose. “Already did that, love. ‘S nearly half nine.”

“F’rgot you get up ‘fore the early birds,” Dani grumbles, “An’thing past six ‘s late for you.”

“The plants wait for no one.”

“They’re plants. ‘S not like they have anywhere to be.”

“You don’t know that. Could have important plant business to attend to.”

Dani, at last, rolls over incredulously. “Like what?”

“Dunno,” Jamie shrugs, “but you’re awake now.”

“You’re the worst, you know that?”

“Mhm,” Jamie chuckles, “happy anniversary, baby.” Their kiss is languid, sleep-heavy. When they break apart, their foreheads still touch.

“Happy anniversary,” Dani whispers, thumb absently caressing Jamie’s cheekbone. Her eyes glimmer with mischief when she meets Jamie’s gaze. “Wouldn’t be opposed to staying in bed all day, though...”

“Need food first.”

Dani huffs. “Fine.”

“Thought we might try the new cafe on the corner of Leeland and Huntley for brunch. Apparently, they’ve got terrific blueberry muffins.”

“And you know this how?”

“Kid and her mum came through the shop the other day. Wee gremlin wouldn’t put the damn thing down,” Jamie gripes. “Got crumbs all over my daffodils.”

“She sounds cute.” Dani sounds almost wistful.

“‘Course you’d think so. Once a teacher, always a teacher.” She waves dismissively. “Or something like that.” Jamie rubs her palms together. “Right, then, up and at ‘em. Those muffins won’t eat themselves.”

“Didn’t realize you were so excited by baked goods.”

“Not the baked goods I’m excited for. I seem to recall mentions of returning to bed after food.”

+++

They are dressed and out the door in record time.

+++

They’ve closed the shop for the day, allowing themselves a brief reprieve from the discord of the wedding season. Every other day, it seems, a new blushing bride parades through their doors, followed by a mother or mother-in-law with a thousand questions and a dozen requests per minute. Jamie enjoys the work, truly. Seeing the delighted relief wash over the room as the arrangement designs are finalized is immensely gratifying. Almost as gratifying as watching her flowers, her precious creations, adorn ballrooms and churches, surrounded by people celebrating life. The joy of being alive.

She feels it now, she thinks, the sheer euphoria of existing. Here, walking down the street, a take-away cup of tea in her hand, with Dani’s arm roped through hers.

They are living on borrowed time, she knows, stark reminders of blue and brown present in every reflection. Every so often, Jamie catches herself longing, pleading for more time. She should be grateful for what the universe has gifted her. But, on days like these, days where the air is right and the sun is warm on her skin, she finds herself wishing for a forever that she cannot have. A forever unpromised to a monster that lurks beneath the most beautiful smile in the world.

She pushes the thought aside. Tomorrow is never promised. All she has is today. And she’ll be damned before she lets it slip away.

+++

They feed the waterfowl in the park with muffin crumbs. There are ducklings this time of year, and Dani’s gleeful cooing, high-pitched and elated, travels across the pond. Dappled shadows drape across her shoulders. Tree branches sway in a gentle breeze, casting a spotted cloak across the scene. Jamie feels the tension drain from her neck.

They sit, side by side, on the swingset, watching the joggers run past, waving at their neighbors and their golden retriever, the couple whose engagement party The Leafling decorated last month. Dani exchanges pleasantries with them all. It’s the Midwesterner in her, she likes to say, amicability is in her blood. Jamie does not understand, but she does her best to nod less than awkwardly while her partner makes smalltalk.

They stop for ice cream on the way home. It is a special occasion, after all, and the balmy June weather provides the perfect excuse to indulge in seldom-savored decadence. One, Jamie decides, they should absolutely partake in more often, if the child-like giddiness Dani expresses over cake batter ice cream is any indication. The crows feet at the corners of her eyes crinkle as she grins, and Jamie thinks she has never looked more lovely.

+++

A trans-Atlantic call to Owen foils their initial plans of baking their own lasagna after Dani lets slip that they weren’t planning to boil the noodles before layering in the sauces.

“For the love of God, please order in. The both of you are im-pasta-ble. It’s like I’ve taught you nothing.”

“That pun was weak, even for you.”

“This is what you’ve reduced me to.”

So, they call in a delivery order to the Italian place down the road. Jamie chivalrously offers to pick it up, and Dani ushers her out of the flat with a vigor that has Jamie raising an eyebrow. But, she simply shrugs and slides into the drivers’ seat of their second-hand pickup. The familiar rumble of the engine is comforting, the crooning of some jazz singer on the radio soothing background noise. Crickets chirp in the early summer evening.

She swings through the grocer to pick up champagne on her way home and juggles the bottle and the takeaway bag of food as she fumbles her key into the lock. Dani opens the door just as she’s about to turn the knob, and Jamie falls forward, Dani catching her by the arm.

“You alright?” Dani asks, but there’s an amused lilt to her voice.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. If you could just take…” Jamie’s mouth goes dry. Her face is level with Dani’s hips, which she has come to realize are covered in a velvety fabric she does not recognize. Her eyes flick up, coming to rest on Dani’s collarbones, the exposed skin of her arms, the accentuated curve of her waist. “You… I… uh….”

“You could’ve knocked, you know. I would’ve let you in.”

“I… yeah, could’ve… knocked.” Jamie realizes she is frozen in the entryway, jaw on the floor, and, in all honesty, cannot bring herself to care. Not when Dani is standing in front of her, clad in a gorgeous purple dress Jamie’s never seen before, her bangs styled to frame her face, while the remainder of her hair is pulled back. Jamie clears her throat. “You, ah, you changed.”

“I did.”

“You, you look…” Jamie searches for the right word, but none seem to encapsulate the overwhelming rush of emotion she feels, looking at the love of her life in the dim light from the bulb in the hallway outside their flat, on the tenth anniversary of the start of life she never thought she would have.

Damn the limitations of this bloody language. She can say “I got absolutely goddamn shitfaced last night” in a hundred different ways, but there is no succinct way to phrase, “I love you so fucking much and you are the most incredible person in the world and I don’t know how I got lucky enough to know you and I could spend the rest of my life holding your hand.”

It seems, at least to Jamie, a grievous failure of linguistic evolution.

“Beautiful,” she settles on, at last. “You’re so beautiful.” It’s not enough. But it will suffice.

“Come on, loverboy,” Dani says, tapping the bottom of Jamie’s chin with a slender index finger before giving a tug on her sleeve. “Food’s getting cold.” She’s blushing, though, a faint tint coloring her chest as she takes one of the plastic bags from Jamie. Jamie, who merely stares at Dani’s retreating silhouette before remembering she’s supposed to follow. She shuts the front door behind her and stumbles into the kitchen, setting the bottle and second bag on the countertop next to the stove.

When she turns around, Dani is in the living room holding a match to two candles set on a ceramic dish on their kitchen island. She’s laid out their nice dinnerware, which, really, consists of the four gold-encircled plates and matching napkin rings they’d found at an antique store in Milwaukee, back when they had been exploring the country Dani called home. A vase of roses is positioned on the coffee table, and it’s evident that Dani arranged them herself, and oh, oh, how Jamie loves her for it.

“Surprise?” Dani says shyly.

Jamie blinks at her. It’s all she can do not to break down. Instead, she settles for taking two bold steps to Dani's side of the counter and kissing her senseless. Dani lets out a squeak of surprise, but quickly relaxes into Jamie’s touch. She’s biting her lip when they separate, Jamie’s twirling the fine hairs at the nape of her neck as she presses their foreheads together.

“Let me change, and we’ll eat, yeah?”

“Sounds good.” Dani’s breathing is an ounce heavier than normal.

Jamie winks slyly, wanders to their bedroom and opens the closet, pulling out the first acceptable outfit she sees. She doesn’t have to change, she knows. Dani could care less whether she’s wearing a three-piece suit or sweatpants. (Though she suspects the suit might have the edge.) She dons a white, three-quarter zip and black slacks, pausing briefly to add a pair of black leather suspenders she knows Dani likes. Something about being easy to grab and pull.

Dani is struggling to uncork the champagne when Jamie returns to the kitchen. Her tongue pokes adorably out of the corner of her mouth, and her soft grunts of frustration are surprisingly endearing.

“Hand it over. Come on, now. Before you put your eye out.”

“I can do it,” Dani protests. “Just. Need to tweak it. A little.”

Jamie takes the opportunity to press against Dani’s back, her arms wrapping around to cover Dani’s hands where they fiddle with the bottle. For a moment, Dani forgets to be cross and reclines her head, resting it on Jamie’s shoulder. She sighs, relinquishing control, and Jamie huffs out a quick laugh. She holds the champagne over the sink to catch the overflow when the bottle pops.

Dani mumbles something about “having loosened it,” which Jamie meets with resolute agreement and a, “‘course you did, baby.”

The lasagne, an Owen-approved non-abomination, has been plated, Dani having evidently done so while Jamie was shucking her dayclothes. She pours them each a healthy flute of champagne and seats herself beside Dani, raising her glass.

She hesitates.

“Wait,” Dani exclaims, hurrying to the hall closet. She rummages for a second, bringing back the Polaroid camera Jamie had given her their first Christmas together. She checks the film, appears satisfied, and balances the device on an upturned colander to set up her shot. She sets the timer and sidles under Jamie’s arm, picking up her champagne flute. “Smile!” Dani beams.

When the image prints, the picture reveals Dani, with the biggest grin Jamie swears she’s ever seen, and Jamie at her side, looking positively smitten. The flash has illuminated the silver streaks in her hair, the lines embedded in her skin. Time has been kind to her, she reminds herself, others are not so lucky. And, in any case, when she looks at this photograph, she will not be looking at herself.

Dani kisses her cheek and moves her keepsake to the coffee table for safety. Too many important documents ruined by spills for her to risk it. She props it gently against the roses. It’s perfect.

Again, Jamie raises her glass. She inspects the contents.

Again, she hesitates. Then, a toast:

“To another ten.”

Silence.

Dani stills, looks at her.

Jamie can see the beginning of an argument forming on the tip of Dani’s tongue, and Jamie holds her stare. It’s a challenge. A dare, even.

They do not often speak of the distant future. Only when it is absolutely necessary do they broach the sensitive topic.

A world-weary smile paints Dani’s lips. Her eyes are burdened, the vivacity present mere seconds ago seemingly having vanished. She is tired. It shows in the slump of her shoulders, the crease of her brow, the way the giddiness of earlier has slunk away, leaving Dani bare-boned and fatigued.

She lifts her glass.

She says nothing.

“I love you,” Jamie murmurs after the faint clink of glass on glass. “So much.”

“Always,” Dani finishes. And Jamie knows she means it.

+++

They embrace beneath the sheets that night, sweat cooling in the dry air. Jamie’s fingers are tangled in blonde waves highlighted with grey. Dani’s breathing has evened out, short puffs tickling Jamie’s sternum, as Jamie contemplates the window over her head.

She has found someone to love, and someone to love her in return. Someone who will stay, even on the bad days. Someone who expects nothing and deserves everything.

Dani is everything Jamie thought she never deserved. Dani is good. Dani is good and exquisite and utterly unbelievable and, god, how Jamie loves her.

She loves waking up beside her every morning, and she loves smelling the same fruity shampoo on the pillow. She loves spending the day working together on the business they built from the dirt up. She loves falling into bed every night and pulling Dani close. Every minute they have together is a gift that Jamie refuses to take for granted.

To another ten years, she thinks, and allows her eyes to close. Dani sighs against her.

#hello lads look at me writing shit again #pls enjoy #I hope u like it #the haunting of bly manor #damie #damie fanfic #dani clayton #jamie #jamie taylor #jamie thobm #fic #writing #my writing #thobm fanfic #dani x jamie #jamie x dani

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