#to ''where the fuck are your emotions''
Text
Me being fine after talking about traumatising stuff:
Therapist: oh cool! It seems talking things out works for you
Me being fine after rediscovering trauma:
Therapist: okay this is a bit weird
Me continuing to be fine during every therapy session since the beginning with no large shifts in mood:
Therapist: goddammit you're dissociating aren't you
#I was in fact dissocating#it was very funny to me that we went from#''talk therapy works well for you''#to ''where the fuck are your emotions''#sorry I didn't bring my whole consciousness with me#my bad#did#dissociative disorder#dissociative system#actuallydid#actually traumatized#did osdd#therapy
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
starting off with an amuse-bouche of some of my initial favorite bits! y'all, this update was WILD.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#we really got it all in this update huh#we got flashbacks! backstory! shocking twists! cgs?!#we got the silver breakdown to end all silver breakdowns#the boy does not emote for 6 episodes straight and now it's POURING out and i am shoving my face directly into it#not to mention my favorite: action scenes represented by intensely wiggling the sprites around#and OF COURSE meleanor my beloved. your highness. ma'am. holy shit.#i guess it's mel instead of mal? hey she can spell her name however she wants#meleanor can do whatever she wants about anything. who is going to stop her.#meleanor: hold on baby. mommy wants to make a point. (yeets malleus' egg across the room into liia's face)#man though i am so afraid that crowley really might turn out to have been revaan this whole time#because this means we live in a world where dire fucking crowley managed to pull BOTH meleanor and lilia and i cannot accept that#briar valley are you okay. is it something in the water.#mrs. zigvolt took all the good taste and left none for anyone else
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
reads like warning text in cultist simulator/book of hours that i would simply ignore
#somehow more threatening than just saying 'this machine will fucking kill you'#anyway#joy is the correct emotion for when your silly little guy is irreparably altered by the horrors i think#i am staring directly at that one CS ending where you turn yourself into a giant bug specifically#book of hours#cultist simulator#book of hours game#also i haven't found anything like this in book of hours *yet*#but i know it's there somewhere
536 notes
·
View notes
Text
One of my favorite parts of phase 2 (and indeed one of the few moments I resonated with IDW Prowl) was when the neutrals were coming back to Cybertron and Prowl said that he refused to let Autobots be pushed aside and overruled after they were the ones who fought for freedom for 4 million years (the exact wording escapes me atm).
And I mean, that resentment still holds true even once the colonists come on bc like. As much as it's true that Cybertron's culture is fucked up, and as funny as it can be to paint Cybertronians as a bunch of weirdos who consider trying to kill someone as a common greeting not important enough to hold a grudge over.... The colonists POV kind of pissed me off a lot of times, as did the narrative tone/implications that Cybertronians are forever warlike and doomed to die by their own hands bc it just strikes me as an extremely judgemental and unsympathetic way to deal with a huge group of people with massive war PTSD and political/social tensions that were rampant even before the war?
Like, imagine living in a society rife with bigotry and discrimination where you get locked into certain occupations and social strata based on how you were born. The political tension is so bad there's a string of assassinations of politicians and leaders. The whole planet erupts into an outright war that leads (even unintentionally) to famine and chemical/biological warfare that destroys your planet. Both sides of the war are so entrenched in their pre-war sides and resentment for each other that this war lasts 4 million years and you don't even have a home planet any more. Then your home planet gets restored and a bunch of sheltered fucks come home and go "ewww why are you so violent?? You're a bunch of freaks just go live in the wilderness so that our home can belong to The Pure People Who Weren't Stupid And Evil Enough To Be Trapped In War" and then a bunch of colonists from places that know nothing about your history go "lol you people are so weird?? 🤣🤣 I don't get why y'all are fighting can't you just like, stop??? Oh okay you people are just fucked up and evil and stupid then" ((their planets are based on colonialism where their Primes wiped out the native populations btw whereas the Autobots and OP in particular fought to save organics. But that never gets brought up as a point in their favor)) as if the damage of a lifetime of war and a society that was broken even before the war can just magically go away now that the war is over.
Prowl fucking sucks but he was basically the only person that pointed out the injustice of that.
And then from then on out most of the characters from other colonies like Caminus and wherever else are going "i fucking hate you and your conflicts" w/ people like literal-nobody Slide and various Camiens getting to just sit there lecturing Optimus about how Cybertronians are too violent for their own good and how their conflicts are stupid, with only brief sympathetic moments where the Cybertronians get to be recognized as their own ppl who deserve sympathy before going right back to being lambasted.
Like I literally struggled to enjoy the story at multiple points because there was only so much I could take of the characters I knew and loved being raked over coals constantly while barely getting to defend themselves or be defended by the narrative so like. It was just fucking depressing and a little infuriating to read exRID/OP
#squiggposting#and like dont get me wrong barber wasnt trying to make cybertronians the bad guys or whatever#it's just a problem with his writing where like. he has A Message he wants to send#and so he uses the entire story literally just for The Message even if it involves bullshit plotlines#or familiar characters ppl were reading about for the past decade being shit on by OCs made up to fill a new roster#like barber's writing tends to lean way too much on a sort of lecturing tone#without giving proper care towards including moments where characters get to like. fucking express themselves and share their side#sort of like how barber couldnt be bothered to write pyra magna and optimus actually talking to each other during exrid#and instead during OP ongoing pyra is suddenly screaming about how OP is unteachable#even tho she never even tried to teach him bc she and OP never interacted bc i guess barber couldnt be bothered#he just needed someone to lecture OP so fuck making the story make sense or like letting OP get to say anything in defense#this is the infuriating part of barber's writing bc i think he has incredible IDEAS and was in charge of the lore i was most interested in#but most of the time his execution sucks and he's basically just mid with a few brilliant moments occasionally#or like he has a message about the cycle of violence he wants to convey#but his narrative choices trying to convey that theme made his story come off as super unsympathetic to the ppl who suffered#to the point where barber actively kneecapped some scenes that couldve been super fucking intense and emotional#in favor of the characters lecturing each other or some stupid plot to criticize OP#that time in unicron where windblade screamed about how this is their fault and then arcee replied that her planet is build on coloniation#shouldve happened more often than literally the last series of the ocntinuity. like goddamn stfu about your moral superiority#when your own sins are right fhere lol
213 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sonadow Fic Rec
Okay, before you jump down to the masterpieces listed below, I just wanted to state this:
These authors have given this phenomenal content for free, baked with time and effort. I have never once ignored this, hence why I try and comment on each and every one of these fics. However, my energy and ability to be verbose differs day to day. Some of these fics I have not given proper comments for, despite this, I will be on it the moment I can be. In the time being, (once I am able to find my comments on each of these fics) I will be sharing my adoration for them further in other posts (and most likely link back to this one).
With that being said, please, PLEASE take your time to check each of these fics out. If they're not your cup of tea? Valid! But hands down I have never dedicated myself to making a fic rec like this until now. But I MUST share and spread these works, they are much too dear to me not to, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
(All fics are listed by order saved in my bookmarks, not in the order read)
tangled threads and bite-marked shoulders by @rubyiiiusions
Words: 32,287 | Series | Complete
Shadow hissed in pain. The laser had just grazed him, but it still stung, and he instinctively gripped the wound it left on his arm. “You dare-”
He stopped. The laser hadn’t hit him. In fact, it had struck Sonic, right on his lower left arm.
So why did his forearm feel like it just got shot?
He whipped around, fear climbing up his throat, and he suddenly became hyper-aware of something new. It was like a sixth sense, feeling the confusion that emitted from Sonic’s fur in waves as if it was his own.
“What did you do?!” Shadow snarled.
or, eggman accidentally soulbinds shadow and sonic, and no one has any idea how to undo it.
Sleepwalking by Tirainy
Words: 22,117 | Complete
'There is a strong arm curled around his torso, the appendage keeping him close to its owner, whose warm breath is ghosting over the back of his neck. Sonic is sure he went to bed alone the previous night, but he isn't worried about the intruder. After all, this isn't the first time this has happened…'
Secret Admirer by @trenchcoat-gecko
Words: 24,313 | Complete
Sonic understood well what it meant to be loved. He was a world-famous hero, after all; his presence never went unnoticed. For the most part, he lavished in that attention, he soaked it in and encouraged it.
But not romantic attention.
So, when the blue blur found himself falling in love? Well, the prospect was rather daunting, no matter how easy Amy had made it out to be. So maybe, just maybe, he should just take the easy way out...
Rose Drops Series by @magicstormfrostfire
Words: 122,489 | Series | Complete
Love, Intuition, and a little bit of magic ensues as Amy sends Sonic and Shadow on an unforgettable adventure.
Wolfboy by @trenchcoat-gecko
Words: 73,856 | Complete
World-famous monster hunter Shadow the Hedgehog has a job to do. It doesn't take long for the one-shot wonder to realize that this job won't be as simple as he'd expected: a small town, rumors of a lone werewolf, and a handsome, green-eyed, chronically-injured casanova who manages to worm his way into Shadow's heart...
What starts off as a simple job turns out to be something much more life-changing.
Blizzard Bedfellows by @magicstormfrostfire
Words: 21,294 | Complete
When a rare blizzard takes over the island, Sonic is on the run to make sure a certain angry loner is safe and sound.
Y-you know, because...uh that's what heroes do.
We never met but can we have a cup of coffee or something? by @whitejungle
Words: 3,630 | Complete
It's been almost two months since Sonic lost someone he didn't even know, but he can't stop thinking about it.
Clean Slate by nottheweirdest
Words: 155,880 | Complete | Note: Squeal pending and I am cheering you on author!! Whatever you decide I am excited to support you!!
Shadow has lost himself before. He knows what it's like to straddle the line between reality and false memories, but this time, it’s Sonic whose memory has vanished.
A premeditated set of circumstances and an accidental injury leave Sonic with no memory of who he is, his life, or more importantly, his painful history with Shadow.
It’s up to Shadow to remind the hero who he is in the midst of a global outbreak. It’s a chance for redemption. It’s a chance to right the wrongs of the past.
It’s a clean slate.
say i reckon (i love you, for a millisecond) by @redamancering
Words: 30,205 | Complete
There’s a hand on his shoulder, barely making contact. A red gauntlet glows around the wrist.
Sonic blinks, the pain having evaporated so fast he feels almost weightless. “Shadow?”
Shadow’s breathing heavily. “Problem.”
The retrieval of the ancient tech Shadow (and Sonic, in tow) has been sent to uncover takes a turn for the worst. In this case, the “worst” means… becoming physically and inextricably linked to each other. For the foreseeable future.
OR: Metaphysical handcuffs, and general gay buffoonery.
Judge my sins, not my feelings by yellothebeeloved
Words: 228,479 | Complete | Note: Possible one-shots pending from the author for the series, I am here to support you author!! What ever you decide I'm here for it!
Maybe he's not meant to touch. It's the newest excuse he thought of in hopes that he could prolong the game a little more; a careful ruse to enjoy the bittersweet torture of seeing the days pass them by, while he pretends he doesn't seek azure blue whenever he's restless. At first, all he wanted to do was watch: but now the desire to touch, to have, to affect is at a point where he's not sure whether reaching for Sonic would truly be fruitless.
He wonders that especially when Sonic's eyes light up upon seeing him. When he corners Shadow, when he invades his space and he touches and takes and then excuses it by calling it a fight. Shadow truly wonders then: if only he was brave enough to reach out, what would his grip find? Loose stars or a battle-worn body?
Standing up, he glances at Sonic again, whose eyes have now met his own. There's something heavy in the eye contact, something Shadow doesn't dare name. Neither of them say anything, and yet Sonic's eyes move away from him again, like they did.
Shadow warps away, hiding from the stars once more.
Child of Prophecy by @trenchcoat-gecko
Words: 139,321 | Completed
On the night the Mobius Castle was ransacked, the Queen received a prophecy.
“One of three will not cry; send him down the river, for you can only save your kingdom if he does not grow up royal.”
Coming Home by nottheweirdest
Words: 55,740 | Completed
Shadow's life has been full of mistakes, some worse than others, but admitting his unrequited feelings to Sonic tops the list. He's spent the better part of a decade ruminating on his regret and hiding from feelings he couldn't bear to face. He never thought he'd see Sonic again, and he told himself that was for the best.
Until now.
At the bequest of his former rival, and in an attempt to finally get closure, Shadow has returned to Central City. The reason?
Sonic the Hedgehog is marrying Amy Rose.
And Shadow is invited.
#I hope you all understand how many of these I have been in call reading to my friends#How many I have tried to draw shadow and sonic for#how many of them inspire my own writing#How I have dreamed about these fics so often I wouldn't be suprised if it rivaled my time fighting sleep to finish them in mere days#Also the AMOUNT of times I've wanted to pull out my microphone and read them aloud#Even though I would be absolutely horrible at reading them like audio books but you know what? fuck it#For these fics I would read them aloud the best I can#GOD JUST#I cant imagine a world where I never read these and its scary to think if they were never shared#Mostly because they actually genuinely impacted me in meaningful ways#I've cried real tears and felt such genuine emotion that I've been changed#Even if it's int he smallest bit#But it happened ya know?#Just- god I love you fic authors sm#Your work is never lost not to me#fox speaks#sonadow#fic#fic rec#fanfiction#writing#fanfic#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonic x shadow#sonic fanfiction#sonic underground#sonic universe#sonic prime
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know what's wild? Chuuya understands Dazai more than frickin Dazai understands Dazai. There are so many instances where Dazai feels emotions and cannot comprehend where they are coming from. Chuuya took one look at him and his whole nihilism thing and was like "Bitch that's me. Thanks I hate it."
#cause hes not afraid of having emotions and caring like dazai is~#this is specifically about that hallucination scene in sb#dazai does something and doesnt know where it came from#chuuya: god youre so fucking stupi-#bsd#bungou stray dogs#nakahara chuuya#dazai osamu#soukoku#skk#bsd meta#chuuyas demon is dazai who is also coincedentally dazai's demon and i think thats very sexy of them
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
craving validation from exactly the wrong person. slay
#bpd#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd feels#bpd vent#bpd mood#girl you can't just do this every time you want to talk to someone and they don't read your mind and text you#how to explain to people that i am not just insane in love relationships i'm insane about everyone i know and they are not an exception#baby i have wild and insane platonic abandonment issues too (friends with that guy again but we will absolutely never be as close as before)#codependent best friendship where other person gets pissy and decides not to be my friend all the time#losing my best friend over and over#sometiems bc i was being a bitch but sometimes bc i shared too much about my mental health or said the wrong thing#never knowing what the emotional support threshold is or what the new wrong thing could be#and i was insane and way too attached like codependence has such a nasty side when it's not mutual anymore#and i'm WORKING ON SHIT and taking my favorite people off their pedestals and blah blah blah#anyway guess that still has me fucked up
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
*wakes you up in the middle of the night at the sleepover again* yeah but like, even though she can’t really fully relate, marceline is kind of the best person to be actually effectively emotionally supportive to simon, right? she’s had absurdly fucked up things happened to her and had to learn how to live with it too. like largely the idea of stakes is “marceline had this super traumatic thing happen to her and she has to accept it as part of her and learn how to live with it in a way that’s healthy for her”. they’re in pretty different boats but simon still probably has more similar life experiences to her than to anyone else. and marcy always wanted to help him. however unfortunately he can’t stop seeing her as someone he has to protect and keep happy. he doesn’t want to “freak her out”.
#simonnnnnnnnn!!!! shes the only person whos had a life as insane and fucked up as yours#simon she has had 2 experience the trauma and the emotional dysregulation and The Various Horrors too#shes not gonna be so distressed by ur clinical depression and terrible coping mechanisms that she wont be able to handle it#im sure were gonna get to see them interact again [clinks glasses] heres 2 getting a scene where they havea genuine conversation.#and marcy tries to help. This will not happen for a while tho probably#basilposting#atposting#fionna and cake
115 notes
·
View notes
Text
the thing that hit me the hardest on ted lasso this week is colin's reaction from when isaac walks in at half-time to when he stands up and says isaac isn't gay.
the shifty eyes, the breathing, not saying anything when Sam asks if he knows whats up because he can't speak. Billy Harris fucking nailed it
#ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#colin hughes#the special kind of panic when people are talking about a secret they don't know you have#and you just don't want anyone to look too closely at you#but you have to act like this isn't bothering you at all so you try so hard to act okay#man alive that scene floored me#I was caught between panic and recognising that panic in colin#I can't fully explain why it hit me so hard but man... bh where do you want your award#truly gonna be stuck on this episode for a long while#ruined me because I've been in that state of panic#I just love colin and this team so much#thank you bh and js for causing me absolute emotional fucking damage 💕#oh and the look trent gives to colin when van damme asks what the fuck it was all about#absolute damage
317 notes
·
View notes
Text
just so you know I'll never recover from the ending of magi like yeah in general it left me devistated but Jafar's final appearance being him back in the sindria robes still with this just steadfast never ending belief in a man who he devoted his life to and who then in return betrayed him on such a fundamental level. like im gutted.
#:v#jafar magi#Magi#the only way I can describe the ending from Jafar's perspective is cruel like that's the only word#how they end out his character. back where he started waiting on sin. I can't man I literally can't#sinja#in spirit#Like it's worse than kill your gays it's leave ur gay abandoned and waiting for his dead husband to return#Hes literally a 1920s house wife leaning against the window wistfully wondering when his husband will return from war#Like I do enjoy this emotion from fiction but I'm not sure it was the intended effect#I need to lie down#Jafar makes me so miserable BRING HIS HUSBAND BACK#where's my ''jafar I'm home'' for post magi .#He's still waiting on sin to come back. he still believes in him#what's more heartwrenching Jafar's last interaction with him being jafar thinking he had really gotten through to sin when it was a lie#or that not even being enough for Jafar to lose his faith in Sinbad.#I can't fucking do this#It was such a come to grace moment for Jarfar too#He was literally pleading with Sinbad he was so desperate to get through to him#all love and devotion and faith and Sinbad threw that all back in his face and betrayed him#AND JAFAR IS STILL THERE. WAITING. HOPING. LOVING.#IM GONNA VOMIT
111 notes
·
View notes
Text
Holy fuck, man. What a trip Fearne has been on, huh?
You tell her how grateful you are to have her in your life, you flatter her, you tell her you need her, that you have to do this together. You have her make a promise that has this woman, born of chaos and fey, agreeing through shaking hands and a trembling voice.
You make her deceive your friends; you make her follow where they cannot know; you make her help you into this contraption; you make her feed this thing into you despite the fact that you both have been warned extensively of the risks. You make her watch you crumble and splinter and shatter and fracture and burst and implode. You make her watch you die, over and over and over and over, for a minute in agonizing bullet time.
You make her do all these things, because when she tries to back out, when she tries to not be the one who let you do this—how could you do this—
you tell her, "YOU PROMISED."
Because if there's one thing you know, it's that the fey do not break a promise.
#cant wait for her to fucking pissed for a very long time. shes really packing the entire human experience in a very short period of time.#critical role#cr spoilers#c3e77#fearne calloway#ashton greymoore#bells hells#just gonna get ahead of the um actually mfs and state that i am aware that its not confirmed that thats why ash brought up the promise#but boy howdy would it make for some great drama down the line huh?#edit: apparently i did not get ahead enough cuz ive had to turn off replies#since ppl were somehow interpreting this mini introspection piece as me infantilizing fearne??#anyway the first line is now changed to something a bit more neutral. after sleeping on it i do see how it was a bit aggressive at the top#other than that im not sure how else to reword without completely disregarding the core of the post#i might make more posts addressing this but im not sure yet. i wanna try to approach it in the best way possible.#but if it helps any the point of the post was not to say fearne had no agency. she had plenty of moments where she tilted one way or the#other. the POINT was to just shine some light on the emotional pressure she had been put under.#hasnt your friend ever asked you to keep a secret or promise that felt wrong or unsafe or made you anxious?#it has nothing to do with the amount of agency she had. ash wasnt holding a knife to her throat and forcing her to follow against her will#all i was trying to do was take this detail about his reminder of the promise that i thought was interesting and have some fun writing an#overview of the kinda stress she was under BEFORE theyd reached that scene. this entire ep was everyone discussing how grateful they were#for this family theyd made. and while im not saying ash was PURPOSELY emotionally manipulating fearne..#there is a level of unintentional manipulation when you pair the severity of his request with the convo theyd had 2 seconds prior#as well as the desperate need they all have to save each other NO MATTER WHAT.#ash was giving incredibly strong energy of a friend who peer pressures you into helping them do something that you know in your gut WILL#cause problems. hes a fucked up guy. theyre all fucked up guys. even if he didnt mean to “force” her into anything the pressure was THERE.#<- i feel like all of this overall gets my message across. i think maybe ill clean it up later into its own post.#im gonna try not to rush myself to get it done tho.#im under no obligation to explain myself. especially when ppl approach the misunderstanding by being rude af. but i do think it CAN#be clarified so id at least like to try to some degree
81 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have this thing where when something traumatic or hurtful happens I laugh it off and make a joke, or even just smile and shrug and say "Ya, bida" (Well, life), and honestly I'm gonna project that onto Ambrosius because in no way does that boy have a healthy outlet with how much anxiety he has.
And Ballister is all too aware of this, and has come to learn what each smile and laugh from his boyfriend means. The ones that are genuine, the ones that are just for the camera, and the ones that mean that something just happened/someone just said something but if he stops smiling right now he's going to have a panic attack/break down and nobody wants that. Often he laughs off the things that seemed would have caused anyone else to explode or cry, and shrugging off a lot of things that should not be shrugged off. (However, of course, when it comes to Ballister, Ambrosius will literally throw hands with anyone who tries to mess with his precious bf).
Ballister learned how to help him with this, as he knew Ambrosius was a big help to him in his own brooding time, and wanted to pay it forward to his friend, and then later, his lover.
It's harder after the wall falls though, because Ambrosius doesn't believe he himself deserves any kind of help or sympathy after everything he's done, and Ballister hasn't fully healed yet, emotionally, mentally, or physically if we're being honest, to be ready to have those conversations just yet.
What's worse is that Ambrosius is wearing a new kind of smile, one that Ballister doesn't recognize or know what it means, but he knows well enough that it's not anything positive or good.
#nimona#went off the rails there a bit#ambrosius#ambrosius goldenloin#ballister#ballister boldheart#goldenheart#honestly these two need therapy of every kind#kinda just wanted to talk about when other people point out something in your life that seems pretty bad or fucked-#and you just kinda shrug it off laughing because at this point it has become normal to you so you don't know what other emotions to express-#and you weren't really allowed to or grew up in an environment where it was alright to show negative emotions-#so you don't actually know how to regulate them except for shrugging it of or putting on a smile-#even when the people around you are growing increasingly concerned
73 notes
·
View notes
Text
reading dazai, chuuya, age fifteen for the finally and now i'm just mad i didn't read it earlier like
first of all why does this have the best first chapter of all time ever like this french waiter lookin ass nameless grunt looks like he smakes cigars and shotguns with hiroutsu tell me i'm wrong you can't
and chuuya chuuya chuuya chuuya chUUYA OH MY BELOVED i am suddenly personally connected with dazai on a spiritual level because i too would become obsessed with this dude if he stomped on my face. i'm already obsessed without him stomping on my face.
ALSO WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS WHY IS THE ENTIRE FANDOM SLEEPING ON THESE PANELS
"what's wrong? i'm just on my tippy toes" chuuya sweetie i am going to go fucking FERAL
ballerina chuuya agenda real
also
everyone else go home like i'm sorry i really am. kunikida babe i love you with a gun dazai you look good with one too tachihara you're my baby but like none of you ever use bullets again please your fully grown asses are embarrassing once i've met fifteen year old chuuya catching bullets in his mouth and blowing back a literal kiss of death back at you like look at his hand at the end there, i'm losing my mind
#also the artstyle if fucking GORGEOUS im going to riot#i am so full of emotions rn idk where to unleash them#HE IS EVERYTHING TO ME YOUR HONOR#look how pretty he is#look how BABY he is#smol chuuya hijacking planes and doing pirouettes so true#also the skk implications here as well like wdym this guy took down a whole plane and literally bit bullets before even finishing puberty#is now doing rich girl impressions in falsetto to make your traitor ass laugh after four years of no contact#bsd makes me feel unwell iidek if i can finish this manga without throwing myself into traffic#bsd#nakahara chuuya#dazai chuuya age fifteen#bsd manga#the sigma show#my post#reading bsd 15
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
Y'know the thing about writing feral/unhinged versions of Orion/Optimus, is that you can't go too far into the feral/unhinged direction to a point where OP's core character traits are lost or become too diminished. After all, in a multiple-continuity franchise like TF, part of what makes the stories make sense is that even if details change (sometimes major details), the characters are still recognizably themselves to one degree or another. (Although this isn't always the case due to executive meddling or some characters being such blank slates from their initial G1 appearances that there's basically nothing to model them off of, but I digress.)
It's pretty much another reason why I love IDW1 Optimus, bc he literally is a canonical feral/unhinged Optimus who's unhinged as a direct consequence of who he is as a person and what he's been through. Like, he still has those fundamental character traits of trying his best to be moral and make good choices, trying to be a role model, etc, except after 4 million years of war and untreated depression he's basically holding onto his sense of self by his fingertips. So when he "goes feral" e.g. losing his temper and beating up/killing people or saying hurtful things, he's feral in a way that's directly tied to his normal personality and not just as a random quirk he has.
IDW OP's feral moments arise from the gaps between "Optimus' attempts to be who he thinks he needs to be" and "the reality of the world that he can't fix/seems to only make worse" that cause him to lose hope, or become cynical, or lose his temper. But in this case, the unhinged-ness makes perfect sense because it arises out of Optimus trying and failing to be the best person or to make the most morally good choices he's trying to make. Basically, the "feral/unhinged" label is just another way of me trying to say that he's not just unhinged because he's weird or because he's a bad person, but because it's an emotional reaction (more like an emotional explosion due to pent-up emotions) to the context he exists in.
I'd also say that IDW OP's personality being generally reserved/stoic and (trying to be) noble works in tandem with those moments he has of going feral because it makes him more realistic. His psyche is treated in a way where the writers are like, "Hey what if the pressure of having to be everyone's idol and be the best person in the galaxy at all times actually broke Optimus down mentally and emotionally?" It makes IDW OP far more relatable. Instead of naturally being a perfect Christ-like figure who never wavers in his morals or convictions and is just naturally a nice person who always has the wisest and best answer, being a good person is something that IDW OP has to consciously strive to be. Even when he feels like it's useless, or the cycle of violence will never stop, or any attempts he makes to help only ends up with things becoming worse.
And I feel like this does a service not only to IDW Optimus as a character, but also as a sort of moral/philosophical perspective for the reader to ponder upon? I feel like culture at large (or at least my experience of it) tends to believe that "goodness" in a person is simply an innate feature that people are born/not born with, and that being "good" means that you must be good at all times, both in your actions as well as the way you feel emotionally about yourself and the world. Like, there's a tendency for our vision of "a good person" to be good in every aspect at all times without having to try to be a good person. So I think IDW Optimus' character stands as a good example of how someone can be good at heart but still struggle to maintain those feelings of optimism and hope and justice. It's a good idea to have such a paragon of a character (in-universe and out-of-universe) be so conflicted and to even be mistaken, misguided, or make things worse because it shows that goodness is as much about "trying to behave/act in a way that is good" and not just "existing as an innately good person."
It's way more realistic for a person to want to be good, try to be good, and sometimes/often fail than it is for them to just be a good person. I enjoy the fact that IDW Optimus is both a good person at heart, but also has to strive to be a good person and live up to other people's expectations of what they see in him. I like how he wants to be a good person and change society for the better, but he also spends a good amount of time either feeling hopeless and alone or being angry at/detached from other people because of how frustrated they make him. He's realistically portrayed as someone who wants to be good and hopeful and change things for the better, but is also mentally and emotionally broken by that burden because of how impossible it is for him to Fix Everything and be the Perfect Prime/Leader/Autobot that people see him as. It's this fascinating mixture of "yes, this is who he is as a person" but also "there are things he desires to be that he could never possibly become or live up to."
This got really far off based from feral/unhinged Optimus sdklfjaslkdlfkas. The TLDR is that if people want unhinged OP, I feel like they should give IDW OP a chance because he IS unhinged but he's unhinged in a way that's a realistic/thematic representation of how being an Absolute Good is impossible. And how being a good person isn't just about Existing And You Are A Good Person, but rather goodness is a constant state of flux in which you adjust, you make mistakes, you lose your temper and feel hopeless, but then you pick yourself up and try again.
Also IDW OP really likes climbing in dangerous wilderness and jumping out of flying vehicles which I think is very feral and sexy of him to do.
#squiggposting#idw op love#idk if i adequately explained it in the body of the post. but i really do feel some kind of way about the idea of like#being a good person isn't about just being static. always being the same person. just naturally being good and nice all teh time#but rather being a good person will cause you to be CHALLENGED and being a good person calls you to ACT#and you WILL make mistakes. there's never a situation in which you're all wise and always have the right solution or are infinitely patient#but goodness is something you can CHOOSE something you can BECOME and you can still have negative emotions and CHOOSE to be good#like being a good person is a continuous process of self improvement. you aren't just born a good person#and i'm not trying to tear down the notion of 'goodness' or say it doesn't exist#rather i'm trying to say that it's far more comforting to hear that you don't have to be The Best Person at all times#it's comforting to know that good people aren't just Effortlessly Good because they were Just Born That Way Naturally#there certainly are some people like that but most of us aren't like that. and i just like idw op for that reason#he shows that like. you can be a fucked up mentally ill guy who despairs and loses his temper and is basically suicidal#but you also still genuinely try to be hopeful and try to help others. like you are good because you Try To Be Good#and you Try To Hold Onto Your Principles bc giving up or becoming evil isn't an option for you#but also trying to be A Good Person drives you fucking crazy bc we live in a universe where that perfect good simply isn't possible#so the result is an optimus who's at once Noble Paragon and Unhinged bc he's unhinged as a result of trying to be a paragon
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
Betty is so relatable I would do the same shit for my wife
#simon petrikov#original#at#the moment where she declares that she's jumping into the future to save him. just pure save-husband impulse#and maybe she made the wrong choice but I felt the emotion in my gut and that's good tragedy baby#I would do the same thing and then be in the future and realize I probably fucked up but also what else could I do but#devote my entire life and sanity to saving her after I have destroyed every other option??#it's not healthy necessarily but a fucking apocalypse happened and her wife is in eternal torment. what else could she possibly do??#I'm just obsessed with the attitude she has towards saving him and how it turns from joyful heroism to unhealthy obsession#I have a much healthier relationship with my wife. but also she's never been driven mad by a magical crowd for a thousand years!#and Betty did it!! y'all can argue about whether Ice King was better than Simon and I think he must make peace with every part of himself#but it is extremely consistent in the original series that being Ice King is basically this existentially horrifying Eternal torture#so the fact that someone who loved him decided they would save him from that at all costs is very sad and very beautiful#beautiful because no one deserves to suffer forever. tragic because she was far to willing to take his place if she had to.#betty grof#fionna and cake#golbetty#golb#*driven mad by a magical crown#you forgot your floaties#edit: upon rewatching every episode with betty in it i will say i don't think i would be so hellbent on murdering the person she had become#betty does act selfishly and it makes her character more compelling#but i like to think if my wife went banana-pants ice-king-level bonkers i would be able to love that version of her too#but who's to say whether this story would be the reason I responded differently?#it's a good story
101 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think one of the things that makes toby fox's writing so great is his ability to tell a compelling narrative AND metanarrative at the same time. undertale isn't JUST about how people play games and the need for completionism, and it isn't JUST the main story that you play through. it's both! and both are equally important.
and i think the same will be true for deltarune. some people tend to think of it as black and white when theorizing, either focusing too much on the meta aspects without taking the actual plot and character arcs into account, or doing the opposite and saying that the meta aspects aren't important and won't end up being relevant to the story. it's both! it's always been both!!!
#and also the way he's able to weave those two narratives together has always been rlly impressive to me#like undertale is a fantastically written game that makes you care about its world and its characters#and that means that a lot of players will thus want more ut content after finishing the game#which will lead to them eventually playing the no mercy route#the entire theme of which being that desire to consume more and more ''content'' out of a piece of media#even when its boring/upsetting/''not worth it''#and also the fact that you will never be able to experience it exactly how you did the first time again#and your initial attachment/emotional response to it will change and become more distant no matter what#like. the way that hes able to create a compelling story and then ON TOP OF THAT create ANOTHER compelling story that comments#on how you experienced the first story??? its crazy its so good#and i cannot fucking wait to see where he goes w deltarune and that kind of thing#serena.txt#undertale#deltarune#utdr
23 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
notsotoothlessafterall-blog
The Mysterious Night Fury
saejimin
xx
doveziam
Nobody asked, but ok
njjhh
N J A H
bunnyparte
napoleon bunnyparte