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utilitycaster · 5 months

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but you do have to admit that you write your 2k meta's mostly because you want (negative) attention? otherwise I don't understand why you are not writing more of your faves instead?

Sure! I can explain why I wrote this piece, which I assume is the reason you're asking this now.

I wrote it because I naturally had thoughts about the group dynamics of Bells Hells after the episode and started thinking about why this group is so disconnected this far into the campaign when, for example, the Mighty Nein, who had far more friction and conflict early on in the campaign, were positively ride or die by this point. I also really did genuinely find the degree of pressure that Imogen and Laudna have been putting on Fearne to be excessive and had been quietly thinking about it since episode 75 - they were the ones to initially make a big deal about "Emperor and Empress" (the fact that Ashton mentioned the party's positive reinforcement of the shard's retrieval being a factor in their choice is relevant here), I was reminded by someone else regarding Laudna's immediate shutdown of Fearne's attempt to tell the truth in episode 77, and then they called her out in front of everyone after she had expressed that she didn't want it to Morri. It made a clear pattern that I felt was interesting to explore, and in doing so I started asking myself if there were other patterns of behavior. I linked to someone else's post as well in there that talked about how Imogen and Laudna pretty much always act together in group discussions in my post because that was also an inspiration, and I've also talked a lot in the past about how Imogen and Laudna rarely bring up their own sources of conflict with each other, so the fact that their accusations towards Fearne are in the same scene where Imogen expresses disgust about Delilah's presence also is very relevant to their general group dynamics, since their own relationship with each other is very central to how they interact with the group.

I do write about my favorite characters as well. I wrote pretty extensively about Ashton after episode 78, as well as a bit about their conversation with Orym, but Ashton just had their big moment of explosion and I need to let that simmer or something else to happen before I have any longer posts. I've also, if not written anything myself, reblogged a lot of great posts about Chetney's fantastic reveal which I think tied up that whole exercise beautifully with a truth that was not a passive-aggressive accusation of others nor a self-flagellation but a realization of his own behaviors as well as an explanation to the group without expecting anything in return. In talking about the shard I did touch on my main feelings about Fearne in this situation but again I think I need to see how she actually reacts to the information she received here to actually have meta of substance, rather than "oh, interesting." And you can go through my archives if you'd like to see more; I'm usually pretty good about tagging by character.

But also: I like writing criticism, specifically. It is fun for me. I find that writing helps me arrange my ideas and understand them better, and sometimes I even change my opinion when I revisit the text or find my argument doesn't hold together on an intellectual level, even if I feel something emotionally. I've changed my mind about characters before through writing meta! Sometimes more positively, sometimes more negatively, but it happens, because the act of writing meta, if you do so well, is an act of interrogating your own pre-existing opinions and making sure they make sense to people who aren't you.

I also think there's value in writing things that aren't universally positive. Again, it forces you to actually think through what isn't working for you or what you dislike or what traits characters have that you think are causing problems for people around them rather than just saying UGH THIS SUCKS. But also, writing up how you'd fix a plot you don't like or how you'd resolve a conflict requires you have empathy for the creators or for the characters. Sometimes, even if a piece isn't, in your opinion, good, writing criticism of it helps you understand why a creator may have made that choice you didn't like. You can disagree or dislike something while still respecting it, and making yourself explain it to other people is a really good way to process your own feelings rather than stewing in them. I find people who never express any negativity openly are often deeply resentful and unpleasant and passive-aggressive. Indeed, that's arguably the whole point of that honesty exercise! This party keeps trying to smooth things over and so a lot of valid concerns or complaints they have about each other have since metastasized into something far more hurtful.

I can't speak for everyone, but a lot of meta writers write meta because it's genuinely a fun hobby for them. When I was writing my piece about Dimension 20's genre experiments I stayed up later than I should have several times because it was interesting and I wanted to make sure I didn't forget how I was planning out the piece. I like writing a lot, and I've always preferred to write essays and criticism to fiction - I like to think I have a knack for the former that doesn't come as naturally for the latter. My brain jumps to analysis more easily than the invention of plot.

If you don't like the things I chose to write about, that's completely valid. But I'm not doing it for negative attention. I'm doing it because it's enjoyable for me. How you respond to it and how it makes you, specifically, feel, doesn't enter into my consideration. It's 2k words because that's how long it took me to say what I was thinking and it's about Imogen and Laudna's effect on the group dynamic as I understand it because that's what I was thinking about since it was very present in this episode, and I wrote it because I like writing.

Hopefully that explains it!

#answered #Anonymous #cr tag

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critter-genfic-events · 2 months

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This week, we have nein lovely hair care fics! Come enjoy some tender love and care. Check them out under the cut, and as ever, comment or kudos if you like them!

Routine by RainyDayDecaf (2902,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Beau & Essek

A part of a series where tm9 find a feebleminded Essek, this fic features Beau cutting Essek's hair and giving him a sense of comfort no one was expecting

Reccer says: I adore this series in general, but this specific fic just hit all the right spots for me comfort wise.

won't you try to be kind to that wandering mind? by GrayintoGreen (2566,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Fearne & Laudna & Imogen

Fearne gets to have a little bit of girls-only bonding time with Imogen and Laudna

Reccer says: It's a great Fearne point of view, plus early campaign bonding time!

fate (is but dandruff) by Meridas (1794,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Mollymauk & Yasha

A newly resurrected Mollymauk and Yasha cut their hair together

Reccer says: It feels like healing

Shave and a Haircut (Two Bits) by MasterQwertster (1749,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Ashton Greymoore & Laudna

Laudna has a rock chisel in her hair and Ashton’s could use a… trim, for lack of a better term.

Reccer says: A fun look at taking care of crystal hair and friendship between Laudna and Ashton.

trimmed by Chanse (SpottedEnchants) (239,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Essek & Yasha

essek inspects the aftermath of yasha's help

Reccer says: It's short, sweet, and very poignant

there is no other version of this story by Otocyon (625,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Vex and Vax

Vex tries to talk to Vax

Reccer says: Lovely, lyrical and heartbreaking

With no Lapidary by Operafloozy (960,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

Ashton's hair requires a little extra work to take care of - much like the genasi himself

Reccer says: An interesting thought I never had before - if Ashton's hair is actually gemstones, how did he learn to take care of it?

Three Years, Six Beacons, Nein Braids by devil_seabird_king (ShaaKi) (1818,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Essek & Verin Thelyss

Verin visits Essek in prison, talks about the nein, and braids his hair

Reccer says: I liked it

tell me there's another song by yelenavasilyevna (7220,Mature) Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, discussion of child abuse (Caleb's backstory) Pairings: Astrid Becke/Caleb Widogast, Astrid Beck/Eadwulf Grieve

A post-canon character study about the newly appointed Master Astrid Becke. Astrid copes with the political and ethical horror show that Ikithon has left for her to clean up, while reconnecting with Bren as he teaches her his transmogrification spell. Uses haircutting and Astrid's hair as a framing device.

Reccer says: Class tension, Astrid on the assembly, Astrid in the memory prison rooms of the nein-sided tower, Astrid talking to students, Astrid and Eadwulf trying to be people after a lifetime of being weapons, Astrid and Caleb doing magic together, and gratuitous use of the title "Master Becke"

This is one of our weekly communally-generated gen rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. Please note that the summary and content notes are provided by the reccer, and may be different than what the author has provided. Please assume good intentions all around. <3

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week, we'll be featuring Pre-Campaign fics!

Then, it'll be Crashing A Party, Calamity Focused, and then Transformation!

Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!If you're looking for some more, check out some fics written in the critter genfic bingo tag, or the older rec lists! Or you can request your own card and join in on the fun!

#critical role #critter genfic rec lists #gen fic #cr fan fic #hair care #the mighty nein #bells hells #vox machina #sorry for the late post!

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nellasbookplanet · 9 months

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I feel like something that gets lost a lot in fandom discussions of the c3 characters and their opinions of the gods is that, for a lot of them, their opinions aren’t really based on logic or politics, they’re based on feelings.

None of them - not the one resurrected from death, not the one with literal god juice in his literal brain, not even the cleric - came into the campaign with a pre-established relationship to a deity of any kind. (I'd say Imogen was the closest, but she didn’t know about Predathos early on, and even if she did Predathos isn’t one of the gods about to get eaten) When they realized what Ludinus was trying to do, their response wasn't 'oh no, we need to save the gods!' because they didn’t know any gods. Their response was 'we need to save the people who would get hurt if this is allowed to happen'.

So they try to save these gods in order to save the people, and with very little exception, they do so on their own. The gods don’t to their knowledge chip in. They don’t even pop in to say 'thanks' or 'please save us' (at least not pre-solstice). And as they keep going, they see more and more people getting hurt in the process of protecting these gods, and they themselves get more and more hurt. By now, they have gone from having zero established experiences with the gods to having only negative established experiences with them (Orym and FCG being the exceptions, leaving them the most pro god in the party).

And like, these negative experiences aren’t the fault of the gods, who are victims of a hateful cult trying to murder them and their followers. Neither is the fact that the Hells have had no major contact with them pre-campaign (generally, the rule seems to be that you need to reach out to a god for a god to reach out to you, not to mention the barrier of the divine gate and a promise of free will). But emotions are rarely rational. The party has and continues to go through hell for the sake of these higher beings and they are scared and tired and angry. Laudna all but accusing the gods as being at fault for the many deaths during the solstice isn't logical, but she isn’t trying to be at the moment; she’s angry and hurt and lashing out (she started the episode with lashing out against the party! she's in a very bad place atm!). And the more time and effort they sink into protecting the gods, all the while seeing only the suffering of mortals, the more they start to ask, 'what have you ever done for us?'

At this point, I feel like the only thing that could truly break them out of the standstill that is the 'should the gods be saved' discussion, is to actually connect with the gods as people, not only as concepts or higher beings. FCG is already doing it, and Orym and Fearne have both reached out to and had minor interactions with the Wildmother. Ashton as established has a piece of a god in their brain which could be used as a start of a connection, and Laudna's ties to the Sun Tree could be used to put her in contact with Pelor. With the gods getting more desperate post-solstice, they have also started reaching out more, both to their followers (the changbringer and pelor) and to literally anyone in hearing distance (the raven queen), which could help make them into less of abstract concepts for the pc's to aim their frustrations at. Because like it or not, the gods, with all their flaws, their highs and their lows, are people too.

#critical role #cr3 #cr3 spoilers #I'm really curious about how these tensions will develop #bc we the viewers know from previous campaigns that the prime deities do a lot of good (including the neutral aligned ones)#we know this not just from knowing the lore but from EXPERIENCE. from Seeing It #but if you walk straight into c3? your feelings might be more ambivalent even if you do know the lore from hearing it discussed #and that's kinda where the characters are at #they aren’t fighting to save the gods they are fighting to save the people #and those feelings are going to have to be resolved at some point #nella talks cr

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shorthaltsjester · 7 months

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fcg using turn undead is not the problem in and of itself but that he didn’t even apologize for how it harmed laudna after the fact and then told her to “respect the gods” which is a pretty messed up thing to say to someone after you just did something to hurt them and who is clearly struggling with where she stands because of how the gods seem to view her. and if you still can’t understand why laudna has a problem with the gods you’re just dumbass and there’s no helping you at this point.

i’m very cognizant that for some people the issue is fcg’s “respect the gods”, however that explicitly wasn’t what i was addressing in my post. i was very specifically expressing frustration about people who have seemed to forgotten the aspect of cr where it is storytelling through the medium of a game. also, i’m not sure that it is super obvious that laudna is struggling with where she stands because of how the gods seem to view her. struggling with where she stands? yes absolutely, and she certainly brings up uncertainty wrt the morality of the gods, but i don’t know that fcg has any reason at all to believe that laudna is struggling right now because of the gods and not other concerns like her recent death, the impending apocalypse, and the emotional turmoil of the separation - something that fcg more than most has actually addressed. they did it in their clumsy, self-deprecating way, but fcg is one of the few who explicitly engaged with the unfairness between the experiences of team issylra and team wildemount during the split.

it is messed up that fcg tells her to respect the gods, but he didn’t harm laudna, they made her go running…. in the same direction she was already going. fcg also already had reason to believe it wouldn’t hurt laudna due to the last time they used turn undead. further, the episode was one that had very little downtime, it’s possible laudna (or, yknow, fearne, who in the text seemed to have more of a problem with it than laudna did) might bring it up. if she doesn’t, i won’t be shocked, but i’m sure i’ll see a bunch of posts demanding an apology from fcg. laudna is a very physical character based on how marisha plays her, when there are large issues in laudna’s psyche, she explains them while narrating battle actions or she moves a lot less such that we get moments like travis asking what laudna’s hands are doing. this was absent, and again, that might change next week and in that case i’ll continue to base my opinions on my viewing experience, not on the (badly formed) ad hominem arguments in my ask box from people who don’t even have the confidence to do so off anonymous.

in general, i’m really not sure where the argument that the gods seem to hold less favour for laudna than anyone else in bells hells came from, both in the show itself and in the fandom. she was given a resurrection using divine magic, she often echoes the gift pelor bestowed to whitestone with her form of dread. honestly, beyond fcg and orym, laudna probably makes the most reference/appeal to divinity that seems to be in good favour. i can see that laudna has critiques of the gods, and some of them seem to be fair ones if not typically irrelevant to the discussions at hand.

but, kind stranger, thank you so much. because now i can happily claim this crown you have bestowed upon me that i have wandered aimlessly looking for… for now months i’ve wondered how to categorize myself since i’ve questioned what exactly the specific issues that laudna has with the gods and now i know, i am a dumbass. i’m unsure what help i am beyond, as “having the wrong opinion” about the moral analysis a fictional character does of fictional gods doesn’t rank high on my concerns that i might ask for help about, but i appreciate the implied offer even though you ultimately rescinded it.

i really appreciate your charitableness and good faith here, it really orients me towards wanting to hear you out and persuades me to consider things I hadn’t previously (tonetag: sarcastic, if that hasn’t yet become apparent)

in general, anon, i find the choice you made here hilarious and i do have to thank you for making me laugh on a day that has been less than stellar. the absurdity of sending an ask with this tone to… change my opinion? scold me with all the bravery of your anonymous badge into agreeing with you over something as low stakes as… what i find annoying about fandom habits?

#bows before you. good day #cr3 #cr tag #asks #anon

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pocketgalaxies · 2 years

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Hey, you’ve might of already answered this and I missed it, apologies for that, but what is your opinion on the whole Yu and Birdie fight? And how Bells Hells reacted to it? I’ve seen some harsh takes,like, harsh ass takes. And I am wondering what yours is. Again, sorry if you have already answered this.

hello! nobody has asked me this so you're all good!

idk what the harsh takes are but i personally thought it was totally in line with the characters as we know them so far, so i have no complaints dkfjskdf like?? idk i think critical role would not be as successful as it is if these people weren't extremely masterful character creators, and as long as things are in-character there's very little for me to complain about

all this to say i feel pretty neutrally positive about it, kind of just "that happened the way it happened!" and looking forward to seeing more extensive fall-out in upcoming eps, honestly not sure if i have much else to say at this point. i don't have any TAKES per se, just really hoping we get some RP-heavy stuff this week to get a better idea of how everyone is Feeling™? but some rambly thoughts about what happened in general:

in general i think the death wish run did a LOT of work to make bells hells trust yu. she repeatedly showed that she was willing to take huge risks to help bells hells succeed, and i think this ultimately played a big part in preventing the party from immediately turning on them once they revealed their true form (especially imogen and orym)

ashley did such a wonderful job walking the line between "you're my mom, i trust you above all else" and "you're a stranger i haven't seen in 90 years." i made a liveblog post about this too but i think it's interesting to see how fearne was p much paralyzed with indecision, but as soon as she got something out of birdie (read: that she is ruidusborn) that explained her behavior as anything other than intentionally hurtful, she was ready to turn on yu, but she needed that answer first.

imogen's prioritization of information-gathering makes a lot of sense considering that she knows better than most how emotions can bias your actions and perceptions, as well as how your feelings may not always be accurate or fair to the situation. imogen explicitly wanted fearne to have a happy reunion with her mother, and she also had some level of persistent suspicion of yu (from jealousy sure but also from the mind shielding), but she used detect thoughts to get all the info she could first, and that ended up defining her course of action

ashton was very very quiet. but mad at yu for sure. not sure what to make of it yet aside from being very very pissed at a traitor

fcg...i'd have to rewatch to rly confirm this but my initial impression was that fcg did a pretty terrible job picking up on the social subtext of everything that was going on DKFJSDF. sam has been v consistent in showing that there is just Something lacking in fcg's social instincts. everything is a little bit too objective, a little bit too black and white

chetney is consistently morally questionable and willing to make deals with the (proverbial) devil. i still feel like i don't understand this man at all so that's all i have to say at this time

i'm getting tired and i think ppl have written much better meta about orym than i have. something something he feels like he failed himself and will and keyleth 6 years ago and he was not willing to let it happen again

i wrote a little about laudna in yesterday's gifset but basically she just made me Sad. the use of bane to de-escalate was really interesting on marisha's part and in general i think laudna is extraordinarily non-confrontational and also was completely panicking. the helpless confused "agh!"s as she presses her hands into her eyes and summons the shadows onto a person that she loves. it made me very sad.

anyway hope this was fun to read i'm not going to proofread it so sorry if it's nonsense but long story short i don't have any particular takes about it at all, let alone harsh ones dkdkfjskdjfs

if you want to read more smarter neutrally positive analyses you can go in my #cr meta tag! there are some posts about yu and birdie in there too since i am too tired to put them here rn lmaooo

#sorry school just started for me so my brain is a little dead #anonymous #ask #answered #critical role #cr3 #nova shh #cr meta #r: bells hells #yu suffiad #birdie calloway

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wastingoxygensince1983 · 2 years

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My thoughts on C3E27

I was really thinking to write this before but I got a panic attack for a personal thing and I decide to postpone it.

Again, this is very dumb and not all the things I would love to post, and I’m sorry for the people that waste time reading this stupid stuff.

Having Ashley as a regular is such an improvement. I hope she gets to do a lot of Ads as mending the time she wasn’t there.

I mentioned before but I couldn’t look at nothing more than Laura and her arm during her merch segment. Although that shirt looked beautiful, and I think that would be the first merch I would buy If I have the ways to get one.

Fearne’s postcards had to be fake. I’m so sad for her and I’m more curious about Morrigan now than ever. I wonder if she wasn’t really Fearne’s nana but a high figure in the feywild and they left Fearne with her for protection. Also, how is all of this connected with Morr from the crown keepers?

The way every single one of the members of hell bells do everything they can to protect Fearne there. It shows how much this group has growth together in the time they have.

I want to believe that Dusk is reaching for a connection with the party and they have real interest for Laudna or Orym and is not a plot to mess with them.

I guess that during Laudna and Imogen conversation, Erika rolled a perception check and sent a text to Matt? I guess it was a perception check. That was sneaky.

My opinions about Imogen and Laudna’s conversation are in here.

I know they were always good, but is so interesting to see Ashton so supportive and interest on their friends. I wonder if it has to be with what happened to them during the fight meeting Dusk or has been in Bassuras.

F.C.G really need help. I hope they get someone that can give them answers. How they continue messing names was scary.

I don’t have that much to say about Orym more than I love him and I feel for him.

GIVE MISTER A GUN.

I wonder why Fearne doesn’t transform into a direwolf. I mean, I kinda understand the mechanics part, but I would love to hear a reason in the plot why she doesn’t reach that. I’m pretty sure the gang is gonna die from excitement when she does.

Holy crap what on earth is happening. I don’t remember any other plot connected in the way all of this is going.

So, I believe the black ring is pointing to the gem and not Fearne? So, I was kinda right and is something she is holding more than herself.

I’m not that interest in the race but it looks is gonna be fun.

#critical role spoilers #critical role #fearne calloway #orym of the air ashari #ashton greymoore #f.c.g.#fcg critical role #dusk cr #ashley johnson #taliesin jaffe #sam riegel #liam o'brien #travis willingham #erika ishii #bell hells #campain 3

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ghor-dranas · 1 year

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Don't be suspicious: Group Stealth Checks in Critical Role - Bells Hells edition!

Please read these two posts [x] [x] first to get a clearer understanding of what this project is!

In brief: a four part series of posts looking at group stealth checks from all 3 campaigns. All the math from this campaign is done by myself, but this project wouldn't have been possible without the work of @critrolestats [and I do apologise for tagging you in all of these, I just want to give credit where credit is due].

Tonight, we celebrate the 51st episode of Campaign 3, the 8 year anniversary of Critical Role, and the Apogee Solstice! Bells Hells are trying to sneak their way through the Ruby Vanguard head quarters to destroy the Malleus Key, redeem Imogen's mother, and maybe even save the world? But to do all of that, they have to not get caught first! So let's have a look at their track record!

In the last 50 episodes, Bells Hells have made 30 group stealth checks. Their overall average is 18.92328.

We should all know by now that Chet is going to be the highest, but here's how everyone stacks up against each other.

As predicted, Chetney is significantly ahead of everyone else, although the other rogue in the party is only in 4th. Why is this? Because Fearne doesn't have proficiency in stealth. FCG has the lowest due to having permanent disadvantage.

Now let's take a look at the party's usage of Pass Without Trace.

Bells Hells only have Pass Without Trace cast 43.33% of the time, which is still pretty impressive considering that their main source of it is a genasi who can only cast it once a day. I say main source, because I am considering the Harrowcall Veils (a magic item gifted to the party by Morri which also provides a +10 bonus) a casting of Pass Without Trace for these statistics.

Above, we can see the comparative averages for when they cast Pass Without Trace versus when they didn't, and once more we are at an almost exactly 10 point difference!

Moving on, I remind you that "Group Stealth Check" in this series has a minimum requirement of 4 participants. The maximum we've seen thus far is 9 from Vox Machina, but I don't imagine we'll get that high with Bells Hells any time soon.

We have come pretty close though! Those four checks with 8 participants were achieved with the help of a guest! Let's see how many guests have participated in a group stealth check.

Ah. Yes, while there has been more than one guest in campaign three, only Dorian has participated in a group stealth check. As such, there is no reason to create a bar chart comparing them [and that joke is only funny once], so I will just tell you that his average is 16.8

This concludes my individual pages for each adventuring party! Please stay tuned for the comparison between them in the next post.

#don't be suspicious #critical role #cr stats #critical role stats #bells hells

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collected-sports-bra · 2 years

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Sorry for the long post but I wanna talk about Critical Role okay? Okay thank you.

I’ve finally finished Critical Role Campaign 1 and all the specials, and here are my honest thoughts and feelings, as a long time The Adventure Zone fan.

1. I love the cast! Love all the guest stars they bring in! Amazing!

2. Matt is a great DM! There is a reason he is one of the big names in DnD, and he deserves all the praise!

3. The beginning was rough, I barely made it through, but it got much better later on!

4. I mostly liked the characters of Vox Machina. Didn’t like some of their choices, but that’s part of the game. That said, I like Bells Hells much more ;)

5. Great acting! (With TAZ, the McElroys needed some time to get really comfortable, it was refreshing that this was not the case for CR). The CritRole cast absolutely nailed it!

6. The Twitch Chat and the Youtube Comments are absolutely vile (like, Gamergate days vile). It got a bit better as Campaign 1 progressed, but it was still pretty bad, and I applaud the team for powering through it. Especially Marisha!

6. The first arc, not a good choice to start the stream with I think. Neither the characters nor the viewers seemed invested or connected to the storyline (in the end, the characters cared so little that they left poor Kima as a stone statue to go on a pub crawl).

7. The Vasselheim stuff was better, and there were great guest stars, but still pretty forgettable, I was about to give up at this point.

8. The Briarwood Arc came with some of the most memorable villains in Delilah and Sylas, and finally some plot that the characters felt truly invested in - because of the connection via Percy, and then the tree (that fucking tree scene still haunts me).

9. Chroma Conclave - some of my favourite story telling there. The destruction of Emon was amazing, NPCs dying, beloved NPCs nearly dying, yes, thank you! Then collecting all their allies in Whitestone, travelling around to find the Vestiges, facing the dragons, it was awesome! It also felt like the world was “moving” outside of Vox Machina, always in motion and conflicts developing, with NPCs doing stuff in the background, and then the big finale! Amazing!

10. Vecna? Not as interesting to me personally. Great lore and all, but getting the blessings felt a bit like the Hunt for the Vestiges 2.0. Still amazing story and lore, but I liked the Chroma Conclave more.

11. CR is long like super super long there are SO many episodes and they are SO long even if you skip the chatting before and after the game DEAR LORD is it long. Some might say too long. And I am some. I am saying it is too long. For me at least.

12. Exandria as a world is not that interesting to me in Campaign 1, especially Tal’Dorei felt a bit generic, but with every additional CR content I have seen I love it more and they have expanded and I am a big fan now!

13. Random fact: I love how Liam connected his C3 character to the one-off character he played in the last Special.

14. Just putting it out there: with all the overlap now, with guests appearing on both CR and TAZ, can they just give us some big crossover thing already?! Like, is it too much to ask? It would be a glorious disaster, with the McElroys refusing to use any rules they don’t care about, and the CR cast confused by the random cat-named shopkeepers...

There is probably a lot more to say, but overall I enjoyed Campaign 1. I am glad my friends who are CR fans helped me through the beginning, and I am thankful it exists as podcast so I could listen while doing something else like shopping. I am also thankful for the skip function on both my podcatcher and youtube.

I get why people love the show, I do. And I am very invested in Campaign 3 already. The setting is great, the developing story lines around the moon are interesting, and I love all the characters (my favourite is everyone but especially Laudna and Fearn and Chetney and FCG and Imogen and Orym and Ashton).

I think with TAZ: Ethersea currently on break I might get started with Campaign 2 sometime soon.

#just some ramblings about Critical Role #critical role campaign 1 #critical role campaign 1 spoilers #taz balance #critical role campaign 3

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annemarieyeretzian · 2 years

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So glad to see your posts about C3 E29. For the first time watching CR, I’m legitimately angry with how we got here. I honestly can’t tell if it’s because the cast doesn’t want to be rude to a guest & friend or if it’s because no one in this party has a high Intelligence score. There’s been instances where they’ve been given crumbs and it’s an honest 50/50 of the direction the plot heads like with VM in Kraghammer with Clarota vs Kima in terms of the hivemind and the fact the group was split or when they asked the clasp to help Emon after the Chroma Conclave. Even TM9 have had their moments with the Mistake incident at the docks and the whole Beacon after Beacon after Beacon mishaps. It still angers me they thought a Beacon in the hands of the CA wouldn’t result into something like Ashton and thought it would be fine to stop a war that wasn’t really going to stop just because it was convenient for them.

I get those choices, those where group choices with everybody having a say for the most part with big pockets of backstory or reasoning to justify their choices. What the Hells did is absolutely insane to me. Especially when you take into consideration that they wanted to address the murder rampages that happened in C1&2 which they were doing pretty well with by having furniture and mimics be the bad guys. Even Dugger who was humanoid at one point was justified w/ Bertrand’s death and the fact we knew he murdered others and then once more with Imogen looking into Lady Emoth Kade’s mind and it being feral and such like there was no humanity left to call them humans anymore. So the fact that they were literally only there in the first place to find Treshi related to illegal and immoral experimentation, political corruption, and murders only to get side tracked by someone pleading for help to which the Hells jump right into combat and just??? KILL ALMOST ALL OF THEM???

This is there first time with a group of people in combat and they don’t bother to talk it out like they do with Yu & Birdie, but decide to jump to murder. And none of them checked to see if the ones they knocked down were maybe even alive. They left one pinned alive to a wall and then got some lunch. That was the first time these character where in a situation like that, that was the first time these characters claimed a human life and the ONLY conversation about it was “were they bad people” and the response was something like “assume everyone here is bad” like what??? Ashton can be all self-deprecating he wants but it honestly seemed like Imogen was more upset about losing her hair then killing 3? people.

It honestly doesn’t sit right with me at all, I get it, guest character, but really, you’re not even going to talk about it?? You don’t find it weird they aren’t fazed by you or think you’re dangerous? Matt brought in others to help create this city of predominantly POC people and you borderline excuse murder because it’s a shady town with shady people feels really wrong. You all barely know each other, a month is not long enough for “found family” and such. Half of what the audience has seen majority of the table’s characters don’t know about each other. Dusk’s arrival could’ve been a real pot-stir if this group was a bit more morally bound but it really seems only Orym had the slightest bit of remorse for killing the one guy during that fight. They’ve had days, several conversations individually and as a group w/ Dusk and not a single one of them pegged that they kept repeating the same story like it was rehearsed and they couldn’t come up with any specifics to really liven it up. Yes, they played really well into the sisters angle with Fearne but I just don’t understand any of their other games. Even when they met Birdie at Joe’s and Dusk revealed themselves as Yu they all literally could not stop talking over each other. They all took it so personally that they were betrayed by someone they blindly trusted with no real interrogation—not even as half as intense as the one they did to Chetney—and completely forgot (unlike Orym, who definitely was tying the strings together and could have killed Yu but decided to protect Fearne considering how emotionally vulnerable she was) that they were only there to support Fearne’s reunion with her mother. A mother who is doing what she’s doing out of compassion, love, care, and sacrificing time away for her daughter unlike the Unseelie spy who is just one of hundreds? of on-the-ready servants with no real personal stake other than a bad job review. Blows my mind Yu lived to walk away but Birdie got bashed.

Birdie is very much like Veth or Marion in all this, a mother trying to do what’s best for her child even if she’s going at it a little bit wrong. Birdie and Fearne really deserve some time next episode to just talk by themselves and share their stories without all the extra voices cutting in. I’ve honestly lost some respect for the other Hells due to that fiasco. The worst half episode to sit through live.

annamaggs16 there is so much I want to respond to here because this is such an excellent articulation of so much of what was so upsetting to watch (honestly print this out and hang it in the fucking louvre!!! it’s perfect!!!) but for now I'm going to say: ‘For the first time watching CR, I’m legitimately angry with how we got here.’ HARD SAME ‘Matt brought in others to help create this city of predominantly POC people and you borderline excuse murder because it’s a shady town with shady people feels really wrong.’ YES 'I’ve honestly lost some respect for the other Hells due to that fiasco.' HARD SAME

I am getting ‘They all took it so personally that they were betrayed by someone they blindly trusted with no real interrogation—not even as half as intense as the one they did to Chetney—and completely forgot (unlike Orym, who definitely was tying the strings together and could have killed Yu but decided to protect Fearne considering how emotionally vulnerable she was) that they were only there to support Fearne’s reunion with her mother.' tattooed on my fucking forehead

#annemarie answers things #ask #annamaggs16 #critical role #yu suffiad #yu #birdie calloway #birdie #fearne calloway #fearne #orym of the air ashari #orym #bell's hells

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railroad-migraine · 2 years

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Hi, I really love how you write the Critical Role characters and it actually inspired me to begin writing my own Critical Role fan fiction. I'm curious, do you worry much about writing them out of character? I've found that although I love the characters and know a lot about them I don't feel confident in writing how they act and interact with others.

Hello lovely! Thank you so much, I'm honoured that I inspired someone to give fanfic writing a chance! 🥰 Good luck with your blog and I hope to see your posts on my feed soon!

Rambles ahead, so it's all under the cut!

Tldr: I do wonder if I sometimes stray into out of character territory. But it doesn't matter because all characters can be re-interpreted in different ways. Characters develop over their course of their arc, and fanfic is a way to explore that development even further but in new stories. It's a saying so often said that people brush it away, but practice does make perfect. Keep writing until you find yourself comfortable and content with characterisation, find something you like that works for you xx

I've been a creative writer for as long as I can remember, and I've done theatre even longer than that. I've always loved roleplaying and video games, spinning stories and just daydreaming in general. Getting into the mindset of a character is kinda my thing, but I do have blanks and concerns on whether or not I'm staying true to them from time to time.

I've seen posts where people nitpick and claim that fanfic writers portray Ashton too soft, or Molly too snarky, Geralt too gruff, or Yennefer too kind.

These people should have no say in how you write the character. Fanfic is a pastime, something you do for enjoyment, and can be helpful to train yourself to find a writing style you enjoy. Don't be afraid to go against the canon and online strangers' personal headcanons (as long as it is not harmful in any way). This is for you. You do not owe your readers anything.

My advice?

Keep writing. Practice makes perfect, but characters are also flawed little figments that can be interpreted and reshaped in many ways. Think of what you want this character to show/give when they are read by you or anyone else. I want to capture Caleb's hesitance to grow close to someone. This can be portrayed in different ways; physically, verbally, emotionally, etc - how do I want to do that?

Find a personality trait that you think strongly reflects the character. Try to develop it and apply it to different situations they might find themselves in. When writing Fearne, I keep her light hearted and kind, while not considering the good behind her actions. She just does it impulsively. Not necessarily because she is good, but because it's what she wants to do. She's displayed her unfiltered affection for others in EXU/C3 on many occasions. It's a core part of who she is.

Listen to music that you think the characters might enjoy! I do this all the time when planning stories for my novel - whether it's the song title, the lyrics or the music itself, I think "could this be a possible theme song for that character?" The Crane Wives have a vibe that just screams Dorian in my option - yearning, hope, feeling lost, giving and receiving love in unlikely places. *chef kiss* It him.

And lastly, don't be hard on yourself! As the writer of a piece of writing, you are super familiar with the words on the screen/page. You feel like something isn't right, or a plot point is predictable, or the dialogue might not flow - this is because you already know what's coming! We authors are our own worst critics. It's impossible to read your stuff with the same feeling and viewpoint someone else has going in blind. Be kind to yourself.

Whoop that was a lengthy post but I hope it will be of help to someone 😊 Trust the process, and don't ever give up. The end result will be totally worth it x

With love,

~ Poet

#mod poet #anon #anons #ask #asks #writing #writing advice #fic writing #fanfic writer #fanfic writing #writing tips

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utilitycaster · 6 months

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Hey! Because I have seen various, various, various takes on Ashton’s actions in ep77– both on twitter (whew) and on here— and I am loving all of the different perspectives on it, I was wondering what your opinion was on the take that Ashton may have manipulated Fearne in the conversation they both had right before absorbing the shard.

Personally, I feel like it may be a bit more complicated than that, but I still don’t know.

Hey!

I think this post I made sums it up. It's not. Ashton tells Fearne precisely what they intend to do. He then does it. Fearne has the opportunity to refuse this request, or to tell the rest of Bells Hells, and she chooses not to. Yes, he compliments her and tells her that he trusts her to do the right thing when most wouldn't. Laudna asks Imogen to kill her if Delilah takes over in virtually the same exact language earlier than episode, and I don't think that's manipulative either:

Laudna to Imogen: And if anything happens and I become her little puppet, I trust you to make the right choice. (Implication this is a request for a mercy killing in the context of Delilah and Laudna's lives being inseparable; is understood as such by Imogen as demonstrated from her response and her later scene in the temple)

Ashton to Fearne: Things are going to happen, and I trust you to help me make the right decision, and I hope you trust me to help make the right decision.

The fact one is being brought up and not the other really points out that the Twitter talks out their collective ass ten times more often than they do their collective mouth; and the fact that they cannot distinguish "put Fearne in a somewhat uncomfortable position" from manipulation really points out that touching grass is not enough; they need to develop meaningful relationships with a wide variety of people in the real world.

Going along with a friend's stupid-ass decision that they encouraged you to join in and immediately regretting it is not, in fact, manipulation; it's your friend at most being kind of a dick and you exercising your agency to make your own stupid-ass decisions. It would have been wiser and nicer of Ashton to ask the party who wanted to take the shard, sure, but Fearne actively agrees with them that they should get it, and Ashton is not really defined by wisdom and being nice, and also, the above would be way more boring.

I don't want to go into this because it's a massive out-of-scope rant not limited to this particular situation, and I'd like to drag my sleep schedule back into a reasonable place tonight, but I think a lot of the more rancid discourse, whatever it may be but especially about interpersonal relationships between characters, arises for the following reasons, and I have little patience for any of them.

Thinking the only way to be a Good Person is to use 2023-approved therapy speak (and, frankly, frequently 2023 Rando on Tiktok claiming expertise who is actually a freshman psych students with no friends and a D average approved "therapy speak")

Relatedly, an all-consuming fear of any conflict, fictional, real, or otherwise, and the accompanying lack of any conflict resolution skills; this is also why they think this is manipulative, because if Fearne said no, that would be Conflict which is bad so positioning someone where conflict might be required for them to express themselves must be evil.

The genuine belief that you can only understand someone if you get everything right on the first try; either you read their mind perfectly or you have failed and are probably a manipulator or abuser for potentially leading to misunderstandings which lead to conflict which, as we see from the above point, is evil.

A refusal to admit that sometimes people are merely 1. assholes or 2. stupid. I frequently talk about opinions I cannot stand, and I almost as frequently get questions about how this opinion is problematic, and the vast majority of the time? It's not. I think it says something quite worrying, actually, that people are more comfortable and even eager to assume that a stranger is hateful or bigoted rather than merely inconsiderate or not that bright. Ashton made a poorly informed decision and made Fearne party to it. It was dumb and it wasn't really nice. That's literally it.

Anyway here's the five geek social fallacies; I recommend reading any Twitter Take(TM) and deciding how many of them they are applying to the narrative, cast, and fandom. See if you can get a full house.

(also upon re-reading this I'm pretty brusque and I promise it's not directed at you; I just genuinely think that the majority of the Twitter fandom, and certainly the loudest voices thereof, are so stupid a Detect Thoughts spell on them would fail on the basis of intelligence alone and the fact that their takes gain traction baffles and infuriates me)

#answered #dizegamble #critical role spoilers #cr tag

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ethereousdelirious · 3 years

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The bitch is back!!!! Finally!!!!

Fandom: C.ritical R.ole: E.xandria Unlimited

Characters: All except [spoiler for most recent episode]

Pairing: N/A

Tropes: College AU except with D&D races still

Summary: D.orian insists he's too sick to perform in the university's battle of the bands, then changes his mind and goes anyway. He was right the first time.

Notes: I was gonna take this in a different direction and make it longer, but I ran out of time and I really wanted to have it out today, so. Ta-da.

"I told you," Dorian rasped, pulling the covers over his head as if to shield himself from his friends' expectations, "I can't."

Dariax and Opal whined in tandem, nearly harmonizing through sheer, random chance. "C'mon, bud," Dariax pushed, "you're not that sick."

"Are you serious?" Dorian threw the covers off, the better to glare at his friend. "I have a 102-degree fever. I'm not doing it."

"A fever is good!" Opal said brightly, though her voice was a little muffled, as she was hiding the lower half of her face in her shirt to fend off Dorian's germs. "It means your body is healing."

"No, it means I feel like shit and I'm not going anywhere." Dorian huffed out a sigh that left his chapped lips stinging and scooted down the bed so he could lie down properly. His stuffed-up sinuses protested at the change, but he stubbornly ignored the throbbing and the post-nasal drip.

"Ohhh, I get it," said Dariax in a tone that suggested he very much did not get it. "So you'll come if you feel better?"

"Sure, Dariax." Dorian crossed his arms over his chest, wishing that his friends would take the hint and go away. Exhaustion made all his limbs feel heavy, made the idea of keeping his eyes open for even another second feel like the keenest of agonies. He shivered beneath his blankets despite the fever painting his cheeks an angry purple.

"You heard the man," Dariax said, turning to Opal. "Time to nurse Dorian back to health."

"You can't cure the flu in a day," Dorian said. The cough finally caught up with him and he rolled over, shaking with the force of it, covering his mouth with his hands. "Oh, god." He really felt awful and still, Dariax and Opal just weren't getting the message. Dorian flopped back over, gesturing weakly for one of them to hand him the glass of water on his nightstand.

"Sure, we can buddy!" Dariax, seeing Dorian reaching out, took his hand in both of his own. "Let's see, how about I go make you some awesome healing tea, and Opal can…"

"I'll get all that hair out of your face," Opal said. Dorian's gradient locks were stuck all over his face, black and white strands plastered to his cheeks and stuck to his lips.

"Great," said Dariax, making for the door. "Dorian, you're in good hands."

Dorian had never been more sure in his life that he was going to die. Leaving Opal to poke around his room for hair ties and a comb, he forced himself to roll over and grab the water glass. He was shaking so badly he could barely hold himself up to drink and even that slight movement took enormous amounts of effort. "Opal," he said, letting the glass fall as he flopped back onto his pillows. "If you're gonna stay, can you please--" He muffled a few explosive coughs behind his lips, sniffled. "Can you please get me some more water?"

"Sure!" said Opal, letting her shirt fall away from her face. "Maybe I should get you a plastic cup, though. 'Cause you don't wanna be cleaning up broken glass later if you drop this one. Do you have any plastic cups?"

"I dunno." Dorian hid his face in his hands, trying to rub away his headache. He had never considered Opal's voice annoying before, but now her words rattled in his head, drawing throbbing pain in their wake. "Orym might." That gave him an idea, albeit one he was almost too tired to pursue.

"I'll go look," Opal said. "Sit tight."

Dorian waited until he could hear the quiet sound of Dariax and Opal talking in the kitchen before forcing himself to sit up to search for his phone. He found it down by knees, thanking all the gods in the pantheon it wasn't dead, and sent a text to his roommate.

Dorian: IK you're at work but dear God pls come save me

Dorian: Dariax and Opal are here to "nurse me back to health."

Dorian: I May Die

Then Opal came back with a plastic cup of water and Dorian shoved his phone back under the covers like a guilty teenager. The subsequent adrenaline rush robbed him of his breath until he felt faint.

"Oh, good," said Opal, setting the cup down on the crowded nightstand. "You're already sitting up."

Dorian's head swam. He opened his mouth to tell Opal that he'd prefer to not be sitting up any longer, but the words came out as hissing rasp. He cleared his throat. "Oh, fuck."

"Don't worry, Dariax's tea will help your throat," Opal said. She knelt by Dorian's bedside and started combing his hair out of his face. Dorian relaxed despite himself, happy to be rid of the unpleasant sensation. Opal noticed and smiled. "Feels good, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Dorian said begrudgingly.

"It's okay, I won't tell anyone if you moan."

"Jeeze, Opal." Dorian went to bury his face in his hands, but Opal stopped him with a quick tap to the chin. "Head up. How about a nice braid?"

"Whatever."

Opal was gentle with her touches, working out knots with a practiced hand instead of yanking through them like Dorian had feared she might. If it wasn't for the uncomfortable position and the chill in his limbs, he might have even fallen asleep. "This is nice," Opal said, stroking the nape of Dorian's neck. "I never get to play with other people's hair."

"Mm," said Dorian, his head cloudy.

That was when Dariax burst in cradling a mug of tea in his hands like it was something precious, and not over-steeped Throat Coat. "I made tea!" he announced redundantly.

"Can I drink it later?" Dorian mumbled, blinking slowly. Despite having been asleep for most of the morning, he still felt exhausted and sore. "Wanna sleep." He coughed a few times, too tired to even turn his head, let alone cover his mouth.

"But then it'll be cold," Dariax said. "And I saw you shivering, so I know you don't wanna drink cold tea."

Dorian thought he might have a rebuttal to that, hidden deep beneath the layers of fever-fog. Whatever it wasn't he couldn't reach it now. "Good point." He held out his hands for the mug, dimly annoyed that they were both still shaking. "I really don't feel good," he announced in case it might help.

It didn't.

"We know, silly," Opal said. "Drink your tea."

"Meds?" Dorian asked hopefully, gesturing vaguely in the direction of his nightstand.

"Gotcha." Dariax shuffled past Opal and dropped two pills into Dorian's open mouth.

Dorian nodded his thanks and washed them down with a mouthful of tea. "What time is it?" he asked, grabbing a tissue from the box tucked into the corner where his mattress met the wall.

"11:30," said Opal, who always had her phone within arm's reach.

Dorian blew his nose and dropped the tissue over the side of the bed. He had no idea where his trash can had ended up and wasn't about to lean over and look for it with his head spinning the way it was. "Ugh. Fuck."

"Orym's not off until 3:00, right?" Opal asked, cottoning on.

Dorian nodded, but didn't say anything.

"Don't worry, buddy." Dariax reached out to ruffle Dorian's hair, but stopped after a nudge from Opal, who glared pointedly at Dorian's braid. "You'll be aaaall better by then."

Dorian was most assuredly not "all better" by 3:00. After finally getting Opal and Dariax out of his room, he had slept fitfully until they had gotten bored and come to wake him to see if he was feeling better. Around that time, his fever had gone up and he had clawed his way out of his hoodie and tossed it aside, a move he would come to regret when he woke up to the sound of his friends joyfully greeting Orym at the door and found himself shivering again.

Unwilling to speak, he let out a long groan, hoping that the sound of his misery would draw Orym to his room. But this only made him cough, aggravating his stinging throat and sore chest.

"Jeeze," said Orym from the door. Dorian looked terrible and sounded worse, and there was nothing anyone could do about it but wait.

"Oh, good," said Dariax, "You're awake!"

"Are you all better?" Opal asked.

Dorian ignored their questioning and looked Orym dead in the eye. "Please explain to them that I'm too sick to go to the stupid battle of the bands tonight."

"But we need you, Dorian!" Opal exclaimed. "No other band has an electric lute player."

"Oh, and Fearne's so excited," Dariax added. "She's been practicing extra hard all week on those pan pipes you lent her."

"Guys, guys." Even Orym's gentle tones made Dorian's head pound. "If Dorian says he's too sick to go, then he's too sick to go. We should believe him."

"What do you mean 'believe me'?" Dorian demanded. "Oh my god, you think I'm being a pussy, don't you?"

Orym hesitated for a fraction of a second too long before responding. "No, no, of course not."

"You do!" Dorian crossed his arms over his chest, mortally offended. "I don't believe this!"

"Hey, hey." Orym put up his hands. "It's okay. You don't have to go."

"Nooo," said Dorian, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "I'm going." He stood up and staggered over to his closet. He had thought he was being responsible and proactive, taking care of his illness instead of pushing himself too hard. But the idea of his friends thinking he was sheltered, soft, weak was unbearable. His hand trembled as he searched through his clothes for something suitably impressive to wear, and a dim thought occurred to him that he might be acting irrationally because of his fever. He wasn't usually quite so concerned with appearances.

From the doorway, Opal, Dariax, and Orym watched. "Well," said Dariax, "that was easier than I thought."

"Yeah, Orym." Opal turned to him, impressed. "Where were you five hours ago? I could have gone home and watched The Bachelor."

"You still have" --Orym checked his watch-- "a good five hours."

"No, 'cause we're meeting Fearne for rehearsals at 5:00, remember? Once she gets back from visiting her grandma."

Dorian smothered a flurry of coughs into the crook of his arm, scowling when the colors of his shirts on their hangers began to blur in front of his eyes. "I need coffee," he announced once the fit was done, and marched off to the kitchen.

"Dorian, wait--" Orym said, but he didn't even pause. Orym looked between Dariax and Opal. "Is nobody else going to try and stop him?"

"Why the hell would we do that?" Dariax asked. "We've been here all morning trying to convince him to go."

"'Sides," said Opal. "You're the one who called him a pussy."

"I did not." Orym sighed and ran a hand through his hair. A sense of impending trouble prickled like static on the back of his neck. He really hadn't meant to make Dorian feel bad, even if he did think the genasi was being a touch melodramatic.

By the time they had finished with their pre-show dinner at Denny's, Orym sincerely regretted his harsh judgement of Dorian's condition. He had been quiet at practice, barely even saying hello to Fearne. She had given Orym a questioning look, and he had only been able to shrug helplessly at her. Dorian's cough got worse and worse all evening, culminating in a moment at dinner where he left for the bathroom and just didn't come back, leaving behind his mostly untouched plate.

Orym had found him leaning against the counter, breathing heavily and staring at nothing. The eyeliner Opal had so carefully applied was now smudged where Dorian had rubbed his eyes, and sweat stood on his brow. Orym had led him back to the table in silence after a few failed attempts at conversation.

By the time they got to the university's theater, Dorian could barely stand up straight. He was shaking so badly that his lute rattled in its case, and several passers-by did double takes when they saw him.

"Shit," said Orym, once they finally were backstage. "Fuck. I knew this was a bad idea."

"S'fine," Dorian rasped.

"I don't know," Fearne said. She studied Dorian's braid. "You're about the same color as your hair," she said, indicating the pale blue tips.

"Yeah, I think Orym might be right," Dsriax said, shifting uncomfortably.

Dorian had to pause and catch his breath before responding, struggling to keep his balance on legs that suddenly felt too weak to support his weight for much longer. "You said…"

"Yeah!" said Dariax, turning to Orym. "You're the one who called him a pussy."

"Nobody called him a pussy," Orym said. He would have liked to have reached out to steady Dorian, who was still swaying dangerously, but could only reach about hip height. "Opal, Fearne, can one of you please get him before he--"

Dorian's knees buckled. He hit the ground hard, holding his stomach. "Oh, shit."

Noticing a few eyes on them, Dariax stepped away and began to pace back and forth in front of the group, daring someone to say something. "Fuck off," he muttered, replacing his concern with aggression at no one in particular.

"What hurts?" Opal asked, her fear of contagion forgotten. She knelt beside Dorian and put a hand on his back, and even through his thick leather jacket, the heat that met her hand made her gasp.

"Dizzy," Dorian said through clenched teeth. In a whisper, he said, "Please don't let me throw up in front of all these people."

"That one's kind of on you, buddy," Dariax said over his shoulder. "Try to hold still and look at something that's not moving."

Dorian swallowed hard and tried to focus on a distant guitar case. It was difficult to do with his head still whirling, and his stomach gave a dangerous lurch. He took a few deep breaths to try to steady himself and only succeeded in triggering a coughing fit that drove him sideways into Orym's chest.

"We need to get him out of here," Orym said, staggering back under Dorian's weight.

"Give…" Dorian's voice faded out. He cleared his throat. "Give me a second. I can walk."

"Here," Fearne held out her hand. "When you're ready."

After a few cautious breaths, Dorian grabbed Fearne's hand and stood slowly, blinking away silver spots. "Sorry," he mumbled into her shoulder as they started to walk out.

"Ah, don't apologize," Dariax said, swinging Dorian's lute case along with his steps. "Maybe we shouldn't have pressured you to come."

"More like definitely," Opal said. "We're sorry. I really thought we could have you feeling better."

"It's fine." Dorian gave a weak laugh and forced himself to pick his head up off Fearne's shoulder. "You're not the one who called me a pussy."

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Orym muttered, privately grateful that Dorian was still mentally present enough to make jokes.

They all piled into Opal's beater, Fearne in the passenger seat and the other three crowded in the back. Dorian leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes.

#ethereous writes #sickfic

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cadaceus · 2 years

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C3E12

So I didn’t get to watch this episode live, but here are my slightly belated liveblogs for Campaign 3, Episode 12 of Critical Role: “Make it Fashion.” I hope every memeber of the Focus Comma Group (FCG, for short) knows that I would die for them LMAO. Also I am so ready to go to a masquerade ball!

- THE LUMAS TWINS WERE THE LAST ONES TO CHECK OUT THE TORN BOOK THAT MENTIONED IMOGEN’S MOTHER??? i’m connecting the dots... i’m connecting them.....

- “That’s what the book was also about. The moons giving power...” [FLASHBACK to the Exandrian moon/Ruidus theory posting over the hiatus] HELLO are we finally get answers about the astronomy of this place??

- all acwoss exandwia me too Matt

- Is Chetney actually wearing the silver dress to the ball because if so I am so here for it!

- anything KRYN running around thank you Taliesin our lord and savior for bringing the dynasty into this

- MARWA ENDALIA IS ALREADY MY BELOVED, i love the energy of this girl so much sfdghjkf

- Since I’m not watching live, I normally don’t watch the break advertisements but HELLO is Matthew Lillard okay over there? sdfgshjkl

- FCG’s last group being called “the Division of Public Benefit” and everyone immediately going can we draw inspiration from this?,,,no is so funny to me

- So the Duskmaven is like the Marquesian interpretation of the Raven Queen?

- THE LUMAS TWINS WERE INTO MOON LORE IM HERE FOR IT

- [fcg holds up accidentally phallic statue]: “it’s a ziggurat!” / Fearne: “that’s not what i’d call it but that works…” / FCG: “how do i explain this…hm.” / Orym: “we’re all adults here” HELP

- Terrawyn, Dancer, Axer, and Ozene were FCG’s old group (as note to self!)

- WHY DID FCG TAKE TWO POINTS WHAT GOES ON (also Imogen immediately clarifying if it’s her fault makes me sadddd)

- Dorian, Orym, and Fearne canonically sleeping in one bed together is so sweet I love them 🥺

- THE RED TINT TO THE ROOM

-Travis and Robbie are a mood

- Imogen and Laudna are my beloveds I adore them so much 😭

- TRAVIS ACTUALLY HAS THE AIRSHIP OHMY GODDDD

- “FCG’s middle name is Christ” ROBBIE LMAO

- um Dorian better not get hurt at this ball 😭

- Dorian saying he hasn’t met any dwarves HELLO??? Rest In Peace to Dariax I guess 😭😭

- LETS GO TO A BALL AND HOPEFULLY NOT GET HURT AT ALL

- (P.S., previous Campaign 3 liveblogs can be found here!)

#c3 liveblog #critical role #cr spoilers #?#bells hells my beloveds #also marwa my newest beloved

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hoynovoy · 3 years

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Will Jesy Nelson Tour The UK?

Following Jesy Nelson’s shock exit for Little Mix in December last year, many feared the singer would be leaving the music industry entirely after admitting to reaching a “breaking point”. However, after nine years in the girl band, it was later revealed that she’s signed an exciting new record deal and “couldn’t wait to start her next chapter.” It appears solo-stardom awaits for the 29-year-old but will Jesy Nelson tour the UK this year?

Given that the former Little-Mixer has yet to release any solo music, it seems unlikely that a UK tour will kick off this year — however, signs say, that a tour could be on the cards in the performer’s future. Bustle will keep you updated with any developments.

In Nelson’s landmark interview with Cosmopolitan, Nelson confirmed that she was currently “in the studio having fun.”

“Music is my life. It’s so powerful for me,” she said. “I’m in the studio just having fun. I loved the music I made with Little Mix, but it wasn’t the kind of music I listen to. It just feels so nice to be making music that I love. I don’t know when I’m going to bring it out. I feel really content and happy. It’s the weirdest, best feeling in the world.”

When she announced that she’d be leaving Little Mix, Nelson told her followers on Instagram that she found “the constant pressure of being in a girl group and living up to expectations very hard,” but solo artist life seems to be suiting her.

Nelson hasn’t wasted any time in rekindling her love for music since she’s left Little Mix, posting a number of Instagram selfies in the studio, or as she describes, her “happy place.” The various Insta-photos have been delighting Jesy Nelson’s fans who believe she’s teasing to her new musical projects. As one person commented: “Stop teasing and give us at least a snippet, we are dying here!”

As Bustle reported, just a few weeks after announcing her departure from the band, Nelson started to work on her own music (Feb. 16), enlisted the help of songwriters Patrick Patrikios and Hanni Ibrahim who wrote "Touch" and some of the tracks on LM5 with Little Mix, and signed with a new management firm YMU.

In a statement seen by Music Week from the management firm – which also represents Take That, Steve Aoki, Ant & Dec and Fearne Cotton — Jesy said she was “so excited” and “couldn't wait to start her next chapter.”

Mary Bekhait, group CEO of YMU, added: “Jesy has enjoyed incredible success as a recording artist and performer and is well placed to further her remarkable career. She is a hugely talented, versatile and authentic artist with a strong creative vision, and we are looking forward to helping her realise that.”

Meanwhile, Little Mix postponed their 2021 Confetti tour due to the pandemic and looks to be kicking off in April 2022.

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keep-your-feet · 4 years

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WEEK 14 & 15 OF 'LOCK DOWN'

The weeks are just flying by, quite scary really. Especially when you think about how much has or more to the point hasn't actually changed.

There's still no vaccine, we still can't stop the spread, and we still don't know what to do.

But it's ok because Boris has said bars and hair salons are allowed to re open now and the 2m distance rule can go down to 1m - however Leicester has had to go back into stage 1 lockdown due to an increased infection rate - meaning schools are re shutting as are all but essential shops and travel.

This reminds me back when it all first kicked off in China and i saw a post of various ‘districts’ / ‘areas’ being ‘barrier’d’ off and manned by guards - people couldn’t leave their houses/areas without the correct documents. It sounds drastic - but for me seeing that take place calmed me as at least it helped minimalise the spread.

I’m not sure what they’re going to do here - there’s rumours that more districts will need be contained soon - and I’ve heard bars in my city are asking people to bring proof of address with them to prove they are in fact from this area and not from a district that has been ‘locked down’.

you may note I say ‘we’ in the second paragraph - and it’s true, we have to play our part too. Luckily from what I've seen around me and my social network I feel that Nottinghamshire has been quite sensible. And a lot of people I've spoke to, don't agree with bars etc re opening, and aren't in any rush to be socialising. Even if it is restricted to 2hour time limits and has to be pre booked. I know I for one will be trying to stay away from crowded high risk areas for a long while. I am however looking forward to the campsites re opening again soon – we have our own water tanks and toilet so we wouldn’t need to see, do or touch anything other than our walking boots on the great outdoor floor! so fingers crossed we wont have to go back into lockdown so that we get to go - although - if we did i wouldn’t kick off as like I said above I feel we need to do what is necessary to stop the spread. I definitely don’t feel enough was done at the start - and now we’re in this mess of not really knowing how bad it is. I still daren’t read the news stories - plus i don’t believe half of them anyway as they’re only telling us what they’re allowed to - or scare mongering - so who actually knows what is going on... i think that’s what scares me the most about the whole situation - my life, our lives are in someone else’s hands - who i don’t trust, and i don’t feel like there is anything i can do about it.

What makes it even more frustrating for me - is I know that’s not 100% true, because if i looked into it more, i could join some form of group, or protest - learn more - to do more - but it’s just all so overwhelming i shut down - i mentally and physically shut down. And it’s not just this - the Black Lives Matter movement, the save the planet movement, not testing on animals, not eating meat, saving animals in need - saving the rainforests - the media is full of people and things telling me what i should or could be doing, how i should be feeling, and asking - almost demanding - that I help - and I want to - but it is all just too much for me at the moment, like where do you start? How do you start? and it makes me feel awful because i want to do my part - but i’m just too overwhelmed.

I keep trying to tell myself to remember that I am on a long journey of self discovery right now… and step 1- this blog, is the starting point of me ‘baby stepping’ out of my bubble that I built to protect myself many years ago and venturing out into the ‘real world’ - watching and taking note of what is actually going on around me - and trying to process it mentally - it sounds so simple but for someone who’s lived quite a sheltered, naive and privileged life - its quite a lot to take in.

And I feel like it’s getting worse - the more i break out of my bubble. I can't scroll social media, listen to the news, or text my friends without feeling anxious like I should be doing something more, because I'm now more aware of what's going on in the world around me. I don't understand it, but I'm more aware.

Step two - is me trying to form some sort of understanding to it all - hence my crazy ramblings on here.

Step three is then starting to make a difference - BUT remembering i can’t take on everything or fix everything all at once – and that’s a real difficulty for me. For example, often if i can’t have both things I’ll just go without because i don’t feel it’s fair on the thing that got left behind - crazy i know! But hey thats me! And that’s another part of myself I need to try and understand.

Yesterday was the first time I’ve been into the office at work since the end of March, and it took so much out of me. I was proper anxious, even though I know they have safety measures in place, for example my temperature was read at the door, ‘sneeze’ guards were in place, doors were propped open where appropriate - cleaning has been stepped up - and certain toilet ‘blocks’ have been closed so they can monitor and keep them clean. But what I found strange was that sudden fear of ‘urgency’ that comes over me when I go to head office - like I didn’t eat or drink anything the whole time I was there because I felt like I was ‘too busy’ - and overthinking the dust particles in the air that will be contaminated from people going in and out - silly I know.

But the thing is - when we do have to go back, I’ll be sat in an open plan office with 100’s of other people, breathing the same air, through the same air con, for 7hours or so - and I don’t know what those people have been up to, or where they’ve been - yet again my life is in someone else hands - it’s out of my control - and that’s what I’ve learnt I don’t like - not being in control.

Yesterday for some reason, i felt so emotionaly overwhelmed. Just stuck. Confused, Lonely, bored, scared, but when i truly think about it, it all comes back to this feeling of fear of ‘wasting time’. And what makes me feel worse is how horrid, and ungrateful i sound – i am really lucky be where i am today, to have what i have, to of done what I’ve done - i have Dave and the Dog and a great family. I should be happy - but for some reason i just want more (for us - I'd be lost without Dave and Wander, there my rocks ❤️) and every now and again I get this horrid grey cloud over my head that i cant shift. It makes me feel numb - but at the same time - fidgety and like my insides are just vibrating/buzzing - like i’m building up ready to explode. Yet i have no motivation or get up and go to do anything about it.. which is SO frustratng becasue i know going for a run will probably help - I know getting up and tidying the shit that's annoying me would help - but i just can’t seem to do it some days. Even when i break the tasks down into smaller tasks, it’s like there’s just so much and i get over whelemed and don’t know where to start so i do nothing, and get then annoyed by it - it’s a visious cycle! Luckily I don't feel like this everyday, it’s just every now and again.

Works good on a day like this as it sucks you in as you have to do it - but in the same breath i hate it - becasue im bored and feel trapped - like it’s work that’s stopping me from doing what it is i want to do! when It’s not really - it’s me!

A friend of mine has recommended some audio books which I’m going to give a go, as well as finishing Fearne Cottons ‘calm’ and other books I have - however it really was bad timing to try and do some self discovery right before one of your worst night mares comes to life - resulting in an ever so fragile mind state! 😂🤷‍♀️😭

Anyway, I have amazing friends and family around me – so I know I'll get through it all and I will forever be grateful for that and them. ❤️

On my bad days, I often make lists or sometimes just think of them in my head of all the things I’m grateful for.. I’ll text friends or family and plan a nice dog walk. Mood dependant I might go for a run, or run a bubble bath! some days i eat my weight in chocolate! I might do anything I can to distract myself - or i might try and dig deeper and think about what is at the core of my ‘brain niggle’ and try to resolve it. There is no right or wrong, or quick fix - you just have to do you ❤️

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