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lazysublimeengineer · 9 hours

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The Enigma of Kiyora Jin and The Burden of Choices

In the first few pages of the manga, we were introduced to Kiyora's backstory and him being always in the middle of the conflict between his quarreling siblings and how they always make him a choice to which he should side on.

It's an interesting concept because of how the way he reacted to that throughout his life. There was always a look of indifference to him and how he may seemed cold and logical at times (hello? He looks like a colder version of Nagi) because for one the usual response to that is either being pressured and anxious because the important people in your life is making you a choice to which side are you on and this will definitely hurt or aggrieved the other party who is involved in it.

But Kiyora always operated on his logical reasoning on which would benefit him the most and we could that it became his comfort zone.

How does this relate to him as a player now in BM? Simple. He was presented with the same conflict and scenario he'd encountered when he was a kid with his siblings but now in the form of choosing who is the better player to ally with: Kaiser or Isagi. Now, I've seen a lot of people arguing that he should side with this or side with that to make them score a goal. But I can also see why because the author is blatantly showing us Kiyora's conflict and quandary on the matter but never the bigger picture yet.

Imagine a rather predictable chapter where he chooses one of them and it fails. Guess what happens to him? Out of top 23. That's right. He doesn't make it because he has failed to show his special capability and skill as a player out there. It doesn't matter if Isagi or Kaiser will score or not. In this chapter, the stakes are higher for those players who are desperate to make a name for themselves in this match and finally enter the top 23 and that includes Kiyora Jin.

If anyone noticed the next chapter title of the manga, "Beyond Restriction" it is a clue on the ego awakening of Kiyora because all throughout his life he needs to make a choice. A choice which side to put first that would benefit him in the long run.

But never choosing himself.

The author likes pushing the characters past their limit and comfort zones to get that character development and growth and in the case of Kiyora, the bigger picture is to make a gamble and bring himself out of his comfort zone by choosing himself first and foremost.

What do I mean by this? It's making everybody surprise and flabbergasted that no one had ever thought that he would do that and make him the dark horse of the match.

3 possible scenes I can see happening in the next chapter based from the last panel of the manga:

1. Ness makes a desperate attempt to pass the ball to Kaiser, Kiyora's observation had reached him an epiphany and intercepted the ball and score the goal for himself.

2. Amid the awakening of Ness' own ego in the match, we will get a scene of a probable unexpected teamup between Ness and Kiyora having a chemical reaction without looking at each other just like with Hiori and Isagi during the Ubers match and score the goal.

3. Hiori saw the potential in Kiyora in the most crucial of times and linked up with him to score a goal. A lot of people seem to be forgetting that Hiori is loyal to no one. Yes we have to thank Isagi for his contribution of his ego awakening but remember what he said to him back in the Ubers match? His passes are only worthy to receive by the players he deemed worthy enough to received them from him. If Hiori sees a potential in Kaiser then we will likely get a chemical reaction between the two and it will be the same with Kiyora. If Hiori sees that brimming potential in a player then he won't hesitate to pair up with them because his mentality is a world style of player and not a self type of player (wow. Borrowing personality terms from Isagi now eh?)

But then again these are all just my ramblings and pointless theories lol. Who knows if they'll come true? We'll prolly get a chapter next time with Rin going berserk lmao

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock spoilers #chapter 264 #kiyora jin #alexis ness #isagi yoichi #kaiser michael #hiori yo

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bonedoor · 2 years

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IRIDAILY 2022 AUGUST SPECIAL EDITION (4 COVERS) // happy birthday @song-mingi !! ♡

#IRIDA MY FAVOURITEST EVIL LITTLE GOBLIN HAPPY BIRTH I LOVE YOU (so bad)#ure so old now (says the older one) good luck w that #hope u have the most wonderful day tho like i hope u get like . a shrimp cake or smth #we r always at odds n u have way too much fun terrorizing me truly but i am really really glad to have you in my life #i can't believe how intimidated i was by u nd for HOW long but also i cant believe how long we've technically like . known [of??] each other #i hope life treats you well always & that we can stay friends for a long time i love u beloved little baker elf THE no1 cherry fox (this tit #title IS yours first and foremost no matter what)#also i have no idea what this is but i hope u dont hate it too much anyways im sending an army of shrimp to ur house theyre walking like lit #little ants in ur direction if i were u id b terrified #*mine

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calisources · 3 months

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𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.

All sentences were taken from different sources about romance, marriage and specially arranged marriage and what that entails. Mentions of affairs, mistresses, wedding ceremonies and medieval talks of what marriage entails follow. Change names, pronouns and locations however you see fit.

Marriage is a marriage, whether it is arranged or not. Both necessitate the same level of dedication.

It’s not an option to be best friends with your life partner; it’s a requirement for a firm foundation in a long-term relationship.

Arranged marriage is not always a bed of roses, but it is possible to achieve with love and faith.

It’s different for women, isn’t it? They have no choice where they go. They grow up in a prison and then get married into one.

Is there anything more courageous/stupid than saying yes to spend your life with someone you have no idea about?

The country was as much of a mystery to me as the man I had married.

One day you’ll be in love with me.

You could be a titled lady.

I have avoided the fate my father had planned for me. Surely it is I who has won, not he.

I do not care about power and wealth, father. I want to marry for love.

But if you were matched, what do you think she'd be like?

We're supposed to be unable to keep our hands off of each other.

In this case the time is not so important for me, the person asking for commitment is.

We are trapped by convention and must marry another.

Every good child knows: duty before your heart's desire.

I am to be a bride, but whose?

I married you to stop the bloodshed, and you keep killing. When will it be enough- when?

I found out soon after we met that Leah’s father had promised her in marriage to some young Pole.

If I ever get into an arranged marriage, I want it to be like theirs.

Arranged marriages require effort; constantly and every day. And where there is love, you want to make these efforts.

A successful arranged marriage can help climb the biggest mountain and build the biggest empire.

An arranged marriage is like wine; it tastes good with time.

You will marry him and do your duty to your House.

You are my daughter and you will do as I say. End of discussion.

Love? What does love have to do with marriage?

He'll honour his duty to family and swallow it.

I was three when my parents promised me. When a deal was struck.

So I was raised to be his wife. I was taught my favorite color was gold because his favorite color was gold. I was told my favorite foods were his favorite foods

I never thought what it would actually be like to have him... be gone.

I was raised for him, and now I am... new. I am brand-new. And I do not even know how to breathe air he does not exhale.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

Marriage is a financial contract; I have enough contracts already.

The dowry, not the wife, is the object of attraction.

Arranged marriages work like this. The girl is hardly asked and is expected to follow whatever her parents deem fit.

Marry, that marry is the very theme I came to talk of.

Maybe she'll be beautiful. Maybe she'll be rich. As long as she brings swords and men.

Perhaps love is a minor madness.

It doesn't matter who the seed is. The important thing is that it has a place in your womb.

Her maidenhood will seal an alliance and must be kept safe.

Every married woman knows a man can have mistresses and we must look the other way.

All I ask is, that you do not cast me aside. Have mistresses and lovers as you please, but confide in me as I am to be your wife.

A husband’s first and foremost job in a marriage is to protect and love his wife.

Touching without looking had been incredibly arousing.

In my opinion, most marriages are based either on money or the fear of being alone.

I want you in every way there is to want. I want you in any way you choose to share.

I'm free to do with my wife as I fucking please.

The marriage of convenience lasts until you become an inconvenience.

Ours is a marriage of convenience and nothing more.

From now on, you're sleeping in our room. There's no chance in hell I'm letting you sleep far away from me again.

You agreed to this marriage and didn’t even dare to ask my opinion on the matter.

You're going to bend, and so am I. We're going to compromise, negotiate, and distract each other.

Being together means our priorities are going to change.

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.

I don't think I am likely to marry, Harry. I am much too in love.

It is certainly romantic to be in love, but there's nothing romantic about a definite proposal.

They are royals, whoever they marry is not their choice but who is better for the crown.

That is a match made in a boardroom.

Once you are wed to another, you will forget me.

I will marry a man who desires me but I have no interest in.

I will not be a secret kept in shadows. Once you are wed, I will leave.

How can I marry them, when I am in love with another? It is not fair to them, that I think of you when I’m with them.

Ever since I met you, no one else has been worth thinking about.

Behave yourself, out here, we are wed and what you do, reflects on me.

You are being sold like a mare and do not care.

Once I bore him a son, he shall be happy, I know it.

We hate one another but for peace, we must wed. At least, let us enjoy this part of the contract.

I am doing this for my family and for the terms you offer.

A marriage is simply an alliance.

All will be well, love can be found in a marriage. If not love, at least, good company.

Do your duty and give him sons. That’s all men want.

I will not be paraded around in a bedding ceremony. I will wed them and bed them, but I will not be humiliated.

You think this title gives me power, but you forget, I am a woman.

I am lucky enough to have options. None who please me but at least, I can choose one.

Come to bed now, husband. It is our wedding night, after all.

#roleplay memes #sentence meme #( cali meme. )#rp memes #rp prompt #rp musings #roleplay prompt #arranged marriage

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icedbatik · 2 months

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I saw this opinion piece in the New York Times and, while I don't normally copy and paste entire newspaper articles, this is an excellent (if scary) read.

Aside from the sections on how much lack of consent there is in today's sexual landscape, hockey fans -- who should be well aware of the dangers of concussions -- might take particular note of the section in which "choking" during sex is linked to brain damage on par with concussion damage.

The Troubling Trend in Teenage Sex

April 12, 2024

By Peggy Orenstein

Debby Herbenick is one of the foremost researchers on American sexual behavior. The director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and the author of the pointedly titled book “Yes, Your Kid,” she usually shares her data, no matter how explicit, without judgment. So I was surprised by how concerned she seemed when we checked in on Zoom recently: “I haven’t often felt so strongly about getting research out there,” she told me. “But this is lifesaving.”

For the past four years, Dr. Herbenick has been tracking the rapid rise of “rough sex” among college students, particularly sexual strangulation, or what is colloquially referred to as choking. Nearly two-thirds of women in her most recent campus-representative survey of 5,000 students at an anonymized “major Midwestern university” said a partner had choked them during sex (one-third in their most recent encounter). The rate of those women who said they were between the ages 12 and 17 the first time that happened had shot up to 40 percent from one in four.

As someone who’s been writing for well over a decade about young people’s attitudes and early experience with sex in all its forms, I’d also begun clocking this phenomenon. I was initially startled in early 2020 when, during a post-talk Q. and A. at an independent high school, a 16-year-old girl asked, “How come boys all want to choke you?” In a different class, a 15-year-old boy wanted to know, “Why do girls all want to be choked?” They do? Not long after, a college sophomore (and longtime interview subject) contacted me after her roommate came home in tears because a hookup partner, without warning, had put both hands on her throat and squeezed.

I started to ask more, and the stories piled up. Another sophomore confided that she enjoyed being choked by her boyfriend, though it was important for a partner to be “properly educated” — pressing on the sides of the neck, for example, rather than the trachea. (Note: There is no safe way to strangle someone.) A male freshman said “girls expected” to be choked and, even though he didn’t want to do it, refusing would make him seem like a “simp.” And a senior in high school was angry that her friends called her “vanilla” when she complained that her boyfriend had choked her.

Sexual strangulation, nearly always of women in heterosexual pornography, has long been a staple on free sites, those default sources of sex ed for teens. As with anything else, repeat exposure can render the once appalling appealing. It’s not uncommon for behaviors to be normalized in porn, move within a few years to mainstream media, then, in what may become a feedback loop, be adopted in the bedroom or the dorm room.

Choking, Dr. Herbenick said, seems to have made that first leap in a 2008 episode of Showtime’s “Californication,” where it was still depicted as outré, then accelerated after the success of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” By 2019, when a high school girl was choked in the pilot of HBO’s “Euphoria,” it was standard fare. A young woman was choked in the opener of “The Idol” (again on HBO and also, like “Euphoria,” created by Sam Levinson; what’s with him?). Ali Wong plays the proclivity for laughs in a Netflix special, and it’s a punchline in Tina Fey’s new “Mean Girls.” The chorus of Jack Harlow’s “Lovin On Me,” which topped Billboard’s Hot 100 chart for six nonconsecutive weeks this winter and has been viewed over 99 million times on YouTube, starts with, “I’m vanilla, baby, I’ll choke you, but I ain’t no killer, baby.” How-to articles abound on the internet, and social media algorithms feed young people (but typically not their unsuspecting parents) hundreds of #chokemedaddy memes along with memes that mock — even celebrate — the potential for hurting or killing female partners.

I’m not here to kink-shame (or anything-shame). And, anyway, many experienced BDSM practitioners discourage choking, believing it to be too dangerous. There are still relatively few studies on the subject, and most have been done by Dr. Herbenick and her colleagues. Reports among adolescents are now trickling out from the United Kingdom, Australia, Iceland, New Zealand and Italy.

Twenty years ago, sexual asphyxiation appears to have been unusual among any demographic, let alone young people who were new to sex and iffy at communication. That’s changed radically in a short time, with health consequences that parents, educators, medical professionals, sexual consent advocates and teens themselves urgently need to understand.

Sexual trends can spread quickly on campus and, to an extent, in every direction. But, at least among straight kids, I’ve sometimes noticed a pattern: Those that involve basic physical gratification — like receiving oral sex in hookups — tend to favor men. Those that might entail pain or submission, like choking, are generally more for women.

So, while undergrads of all genders and sexualities in Dr. Herbenick’s surveys report both choking and being choked, straight and bisexual young women are far more likely to have been the subjects of the behavior; the gap widens with greater occurrences. (In a separate study, Dr. Herbenick and her colleagues found the behavior repeated across the United States, particularly for adults under 40, and not just among college students.) Alcohol may well be involved, and while the act is often engaged in with a steady partner, a quarter of young women said partners they’d had sex with on the day they’d met also choked them.

Either way, most say that their partners never or only sometimes asked before grabbing their necks. For many, there had been moments when they couldn’t breathe or speak, compromising the ability to withdraw consent, if they’d given it. No wonder that, in a separate study by Dr. Herbenick, choking was among the most frequently listed sex acts young women said had scared them, reporting that it sometimes made them worry whether they’d survive.

Among girls and women I’ve spoken with, many did not want or like to be sexually strangled, though in an otherwise desired encounter they didn’t name it as assault. Still, a sizable number were enthusiastic; they requested it. It is exciting to feel so vulnerable, a college junior explained. The power dynamic turns her on; oxygen deprivation to the brain can trigger euphoria.

That same young woman, incidentally, had never climaxed with a partner: While the prevalence of choking has skyrocketed, rates of orgasm among young women have not increased, nor has the “orgasm gap” disappeared among heterosexual couples. “It indicates they’re not doing other things to enhance female arousal or pleasure,” Dr. Herbenick said.

When, for instance, she asked one male student who said he choked his partner whether he’d ever tried using a vibrator instead, he recoiled. “Why would I do that?” he asked.

Perhaps, she responded, because it would be more likely to produce orgasm without risking, you know, death.

In my interviews, college students have seen male orgasm as a given; women’s is nice if it happens, but certainly not expected or necessarily prioritized (by either partner). It makes sense, then, that fulfillment would be less the motivator for choking than appearing adventurous or kinky. Such performances don’t always feel good.

“Personally, my hypothesis is that this is one of the reasons young people are delaying or having less sex,” Dr. Herbenick said. “Because it’s uncomfortable and weird and scary. At times some of them literally think someone is assaulting them but they don’t know. Those are the only sexual experiences for some people. And it’s not just once they’ve gotten naked. They’ll say things like, ‘I’ve only tried to make out with someone once because he started choking and hitting me.’”

Keisuke Kawata, a neuroscientist at Indiana University’s School of Public Health, was one of the first researchers to sound the alarm on how the cumulative, seemingly inconsequential, sub-concussive hits football players sustain (as opposed to the occasional hard blow) were key to triggering C.T.E., the degenerative brain disease. He’s a good judge of serious threats to the brain. In response to Dr. Herbenick’s work, he’s turning his attention to sexual strangulation. “I see a similarity” to C.T.E., he told me, “though the mechanism of injury is very different.” In this case, it is oxygen-blocking pressure to the throat, frequently in light, repeated bursts of a few seconds each.

Strangulation — sexual or otherwise — often leaves few visible marks and can be easily overlooked as a cause of death. Those whose experiences are nonlethal rarely seek medical attention, because any injuries seem minor: Young women Dr. Herbenick studied mostly reported lightheadedness, headaches, neck pain, temporary loss of coordination and ear ringing. The symptoms resolve, and all seems well. But, as with those N.F.L. players, the true effects are silent, potentially not showing up for days, weeks, even years.

According to the American Academy of Neurology, restricting blood flow to the brain, even briefly, can cause permanent injury, including stroke and cognitive impairment. In M.R.I.s conducted by Dr. Kawata and his colleagues (including Dr. Herbenick, who is a co-author of his papers on strangulation), undergraduate women who have been repeatedly choked show a reduction in cortical folding in the brain compared with a never-choked control group. They also showed widespread cortical thickening, an inflammation response that is associated with elevated risk of later-onset mental illness. In completing simple memory tasks, their brains had to work far harder than the control group, recruiting from more regions to achieve the same level of accuracy.

The hemispheres in the choked group’s brains, too, were badly skewed, with the right side hyperactive and the left underperforming. A similar imbalance is associated with mood disorders — and indeed in Dr. Herbenick’s surveys girls and women who had been choked were more likely than others (or choked men) to have experienced overwhelming anxiety, as well as sadness and loneliness, with the effect more pronounced as the incidence rose: Women who had experienced more than five instances of choking were two and a half times as likely as those who had never been choked to say they had been so depressed within the previous 30 days they couldn’t function. Whether girls and women with mental health challenges are more likely to seek out (or be subjected to) choking, choking causes mood disorders, or some combination of the two is still unclear. But hypoxia, or oxygen deprivation — judging by what research has shown about other types of traumatic brain injury — could be a contributing factor. Given the soaring rates of depression and anxiety among young women, that warrants concern.

Now consider that every year Dr. Herbenick has done her survey, the number of females reporting extreme effects from strangulation (neck swelling, loss of consciousness, losing control of urinary function) has crept up. Among those who’ve been choked, the rate of becoming what students call “cloudy” — close to passing out, but not crossing the line — is now one in five, a huge proportion. All of this indicates partners are pressing on necks longer and harder.

The physical, cognitive and psychological impacts of sexual choking are disturbing. So is the idea that at a time when women’s social, economic, educational and political power are in ascent (even if some of those rights may be in jeopardy), when #MeToo has made progress against harassment and assault, there has been the popularization of a sex act that can damage our brains, impair intellectual functioning, undermine mental health, even kill us. Nonfatal strangulation, one of the most significant indicators that a man will murder his female partner (strangulation is also one of the most common methods used for doing so), has somehow been eroticized and made consensual, at least consensual enough. Yet, the outcomes are largely the same: Women’s brains and bodies don’t distinguish whether they are being harmed out of hate or out of love.

By now I’m guessing that parents are curled under their chairs in a fetal position. Or perhaps thinking, “No, not my kid!” (see: title of Dr. Herbenick’s book above, which, by the way, contains an entire chapter on how to talk to your teen about “rough sex”).

I get it. It’s scary stuff. Dr. Herbenick is worried; I am, too. And we are hardly some anti-sex, wait-till-marriage crusaders. But I don’t think our only option is to wring our hands over what young people are doing.

Parents should take a beat and consider how they might give their children relevant information in a way that they can hear it. Maybe reiterate that they want them to have a pleasurable sex life — you have already said that, right? — and also want them to be safe. Tell them that misinformation about certain practices, including choking, is rampant, that in reality it has grave health consequences. Plus, whether or not a partner initially requested it, if things go wrong, you’re generally criminally on the hook.

Dr. Herbenick suggests reminding them that there are other, lower-risk ways to be exploratory or adventurous if that is what they are after, but it would be wisest to delay any “rough sex” until they are older and more skilled at communicating. She offers language when negotiating with a new partner, such as, “By the way, I’m not comfortable with” — choking, or other escalating behaviors such as name-calling, spitting and genital slapping — “so please don’t do it/don’t ask me to do it to you.” They could also add what they are into and want to do together.

I’d like to point high school health teachers to evidence-based porn literacy curricula, but I realize that incorporating such lessons into their classrooms could cost them their jobs. Shafia Zaloom, a lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, recommends, if that’s the case, grounding discussions in mainstream and social media. There are plenty of opportunities. “You can use it to deconstruct gender norms, power dynamics in relationships, ‘performative’ trends that don’t represent most people’s healthy behaviors,” she said, “especially depictions of people putting pressure on someone’s neck or chest.”

I also know that pediatricians, like other adults, struggle when talking to adolescents about sex (the typical conversation, if it happens, lasts 40 seconds). Then again, they already caution younger children to use a helmet when they ride a bike (because heads and necks are delicate!); they can mention that teens might hear about things people do in sexual situations, including choking, then explain the impact on brain health and why such behavior is best avoided. They should emphasize that if, for any reason — a fall, a sports mishap or anything else — a young person develops symptoms of head trauma, they should come in immediately, no judgment, for help in healing.

The role and responsibility of the entertainment industry is a tangled knot: Media reflects behavior but also drives it, either expanding possibilities or increasing risks. There is precedent for accountability. The European Union now requires age verification on the world’s largest porn sites (in ways that preserve user privacy, whatever that means on the internet); that discussion, unsurprisingly, had been politicized here. Social media platforms have already been pushed to ban content promoting eating disorders, self-harm and suicide — they should likewise be pressured to ban content promoting choking. Traditional formats can stop glamorizing strangulation, making light of it, spreading false information, using it to signal female characters’ complexity or sexual awakening. Young people’s sexual scripts are shaped by what they watch, scroll by and listen to — unprecedentedly so. They deserve, and desperately need, models of interactions that are respectful, communicative, mutual and, at the very least, safe.

Peggy Orenstein is the author of “Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent and Navigating the New Masculinity” and “Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape.”

#off-theme #and long #but worth the read

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comradekatara · 2 months

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I just read your rant about zukka and it made me think what if zuko’s obsession with sokka has to do with the fact that sokka in some ways encompasses some of the traits that have been forced on Zuko since he was young like the whole killing without mercy or remorse and the need for control and the strategic thinking. But Sokka uses these skills no to try and rule the world but to help aang stop Ozai. I haven’t watched atla in a while but your analyses help me realize a lot of details that I missed about it was he characters

yeah i’ve talked before about how sokka and azula being so similar must be kind of a mindfuck for zuko because sokka has “a killer instinct that’s just so fire nation” but also he’s literally friends with the bald baby pacifist monk avatar who says shit like “do you think we could’ve been friends too?” and so zuko clearly has no idea what to think. like he and azula were both indoctrinated into this world that valued certain traits and dogmas over others (ie, sokka’s over aang’s) and so azula sees sokka as more of a threat.

it’s funny because obviously sokka and zuko’s first encounter is sokka getting his ass handed to him by a guy who doesn’t even care that he’s in his way, but also that scheme is pretty immediately disrupted by sokka’s boomerang. and then the next time they meet, sokka has actually spent time training under someone (instead of fumbling around in the dark by himself) and can now hold his own far better. and every single encounter after that sees sokka not only rising to zuko’s level, but surpassing him, fighting him, foiling his plans, advocating to leave him for dead, ignoring him, dismissing him.

even at the western air temple, sokka is the liaison who welcomes him into the group (the designated “leadership” role comes with more responsibilities than simply assassinating assassins), but he also makes it pretty clear that he doesn’t care for or trust zuko throughout “the firebending masters,” even if his manner of bullying is far less overtly malicious than katara’s. and yet, zuko cannot discount him. zuko saw him kill combustion man. zuko understands his value to the group. zuko recognizes that quality he and azula share. zuko may have had an advantage over him the first time they met, but it sure didn’t last long. if azula and zuko have anything in common, it’s a mutual respect for sokka.

like, sokka is the only member of the gaang’s name azula actually says (aang is “the avatar,” katara is “peasant,” toph is [insert blind joke here], and suki is “my favorite prisoner”) and on the day of black sun, she elects to distract sokka first and foremost knowing that he’s their “leader.” and she does clearly respect him more than most people do because she can see herself in him (at least to some extent, i don’t think either of them are actually insightful enough to realize how deep that connection truly goes) and thus can recognize his worth as someone who is in a similar position, albeit on the opposite side.

zuko does say and aang and katara’s names (and appa’s), but sokka’s name is the first he says, and it’s really the only name he uses as a mode of address. and the matter of naming is clearly important to royal heirs, who are defined by their names and titles. we see that especially when zuko confuses ursa’s “remember who you are” with “remember your ancestry,” declaring who he is not as internal identity, but as title. to afford someone the respect of addressing them by name is to implicitly demonstrate respect for them.

this is further demonstrated by the fact that unlike “you just had to pick up the glowing egg” zuko of just an episode prior, zuko really does follow sokka’s leadership and places his complete faith in his abilities. there’s no complaining or backseat driving or undermining of his intentions, which is genuinely anomalous for zuko, who generally refuses to listen to anyone about anything (unless he’s being actively scared into submission, and even then he’s stood up to ozai multiple times). he’s not outspoken in these episodes, however. he is downright docile. and it’s because he genuinely believes sokka to be his superior. which isn’t to say that sokka isn’t better than he is, but like. aang is too and he doesn’t take his knowledge into account! because aang doesn’t represent the values that zuko strove to embody his entire life.

what’s more, i would imagine there’s something kind of satisfying, if not downright intriguing, about knowing someone who basically is what you aspire to be, who you were told you must be your entire life, and seeing that he is just. absolutely fucking miserable. like azula is also miserable, but zuko doesn’t know that (yet), because she hides it better. but sokka is genuinely suicidal (especially in these episodes). meeting this idealized standard of perfection you have always failed to reach and realizing that whatever standards you once (recently) held yourself to are actually deeply unfulfilling. that sokka isn’t “perfect,” that he actually considers himself a failure. and the fact that when he does fail, he considers it the end of the world because he never built up the resilience one gets from being a normal person who doesn’t always succeed on their first try. and zuko’s like “finally, something i have that he doesn’t: intimate knowledge of what it’s like to constantly fail and underperform and disappoint people!”

zuko is really perfectly equipped to support sokka in this situation, because he idolizes him enough to provide him with the unconditional support sokka feels fundamentally undeserving of, and also understands sokka’s misery enough to give him actually meaningful advice when it matters. what’s interesting about how zuko feels about sokka is that it’s not just about uncritically putting him on a pedestal for being Nice Azula or whatever, it’s also about zuko’s genuine desire to help sokka and protect him.

yue inhabits the martyr role that sokka has always envisioned himself in, suki establishes herself as someone who is equally capable of protecting him and he can her, and zuko risks his life to support sokka on his crazy suicide mission, when sokka was so intent on going it alone because he wasn’t thinking clearly didn’t want anyone else to get hurt. sokka doesn’t need someone who treats him like an irreproachable god. in fact, i think sokka would hate nothing more than having a sycophant. he needs someone who understands that he is fallible and vulnerable and needs help like any human being does, and respects and trusts and admires him anyway.

zuko doesn’t have the capacity to recognize azula’s insecurities and shortcomings, or the desire to help her, but he does for sokka. because he never felt like he was in a position where he had to compete for something against him. he’s not trying to usurp sokka’s role as “leader” (except for whatever was going on in “sozin’s comet,” but that’s for another post) and is happy to simply follow him, in a way that is genuinely uncharacteristic for him.

and you can say that it’s because zuko is gay and stupid (which wouldn’t be wrong, per se), but it’s also because sokka embodies everything zuko ever thought he had to be. and it’s because sokka doesn’t even care. it’s the recognition that one person’s idealized model of behavior is another’s burden. that if zuko had been “perfect” like sokka, he never would’ve gained the wisdom to accept defeat and not let it deter him. perfect like azula, who, like sokka, shatters in the face of failure.

zuko says as much in “the siege of the north,” and again in “the western air temple.” the fact that he isn’t a prodigy, the fact that he “had to struggle and fight” to achieve what little he has, is “what made me who i am.” so he’ll respect sokka, of course, because sokka is who he wished for so long that he could be. but he’ll also support sokka, because he has just enough distance from the situation to recognize that he’s not an island (even if sokka himself is convinced that he must be). so it’s not obsession, per se, nor is it simply uncritical admiration that confuses excellence for infallibility. it’s unconditional support born of understanding, a sort of empathy. it’s devotion.

#xxzavier42 #asks #sokka #zuko #azula #sokkaxzuko #azula&sokka #azula&zuko #analysis #at some point i gotta stop saying ‘whoops i wrote way more than i thought i would!!! teehee’#and recognize that this is simply my modus operandi #i love to ramble …. lol #also when i call sokka the ‘leader’ its with the caveat that I think the designation of leadership is kind of flawed #but that’s definitely how azula and zuko see it #and in the most traditional sense that’s what he is #but not always.#i need to finish and post my essay on katara and sokka gifted kidism….#anyway. zucchini good 👍🏼

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kirbyluvr69 · 3 months

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Some Thoughts™

About art, desire and John Lennon

If you're active on the Twitter side of The Beatles fandom you'd know that just yesterday a collage John made for Paul titled "I Only Have Eyes For You" made the rounds and scared people whom, I guess, don't think about visual arts very often. Unfortunately I don't use the word "scared" lightly. People really used the words "disturbing" and "concerning" to describe this piece, with a hint of a "What was Lennon thinking about our poor Paul to make this with him in mind" sentiment that I don't think it's quite fair.

I tried to search more about this collage´s context, but all I could find (without having to buy Julian Lennon's book in which the image was featured) was that it was made in the 50s, while John was still at art college, but to be quite frank, I don't think the exact date matters too much.

What I see in this image first and foremost is desire, plain and simple. Red is a sexual colour, we have naked women sprawled, the head with its mouth open in a orgasm-like fashion, the eyes symbolizing voyeurism. If anything, as a friend of mine also pointed out while we discussed it, this collage is proof of the way John and Paul were so close they were even free to be honest about their sexual desires to one another. Even if the collage was made for another purpose and gifted to Paul later, this sentiment still stands, because Paul was the person he thought would receive this part of himself with open arms.

Is the collage "disturbing"? I guess, in a way. The same way I think growing up in the 40s and 50s in a hyper-convervative protestant society like England and discovering yourself would be disturbing. Even more if you're not entirely straight as an arrow. But I don't think John's talking about this here. This is about his feelings for the opposite sex, and they weren't always nice. Red is also the colour of blood and guts, John was also known for having violent outbursts. Would it not disturb you that the object of your desire also brings up in you violence? I don't think we'll ever know why he felt that way, but here we see that he's aware of it. At least I think so.

I saw another analysis of this collage that somewhat agreed with me, but presented this argument as if this was a bad thing? I don't know exactly what made me think this way, maybe the verbiage, but I'll never think a person exploring the nature of their desire, be it disturbing or not, is wrong. Of course domestic violence is bad and I'm in no way excusing it, but if you're willing to engage with The Beatles, you have to bear in mind they were shitty to the women in their lives in varying degrees much like every man ever in general, and specially at that time.

As a self proclaimed John Lennon Scholar i.e. I Wanna Crack Open His Skull And Look At His Brain With A Microscope, I'm happy this exists, and I think I need a little more time with it myself.

All of this to say: I like it, I think John Lennon was a good visual artist and stop being weird about art.

To lighten up the mood, look at the gay as hell collage John made for Elton in 1975! This one deserved its own post with a lot of tin hatting on my part, but whatever! I love them so much (and yes, I WILL find a way to mention their friendship in every post I make, shut up. One day the Lennon/John masterpost will come).

#im psychoanalyzing john lennon thats what im doing #john lennon #paul mccartney #the beatles #meta #can you call real peoples lives meta?

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thearchercore · 5 months

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As a Lando fan, but first and foremost a Max and Charles fan, I’m quite disappointed in Lando. It’s true what they say, not everyone is happy when you are on top and your real friends show their true colours.

You are right, Max says what he thinks and never filters it. While Charles is a PR King (let’s be honest he’s more of a princess but that’s besides the point) but never once has he thrown shade at Max since they became friends (at least not that I know of)

Now, Daniel is not, has never been and will never be someone about him. Nothing against him, just vibes. But the fact that Max has held him so dear and close to his heart and he goes ahead and throws major shade at Max when Max was being nothing but honest at Vegas then makes sure to hang out with Lando during Winter break the other driver who is Max’s publicly known bestie on the grid (I mean the man even attends P’s birthday parties) anyway I digress. It’s just outright shady and childish.

Max is on another level and not everyone will understand that. True friendship should withstand such challenges. Of course anyone would be jealous and intimidated by such dominance and success but to deny the man like Peter denying Jesus infront of the crowd is just sad. I mean c’mon, did he mean it as a joke? Also was Daniel attempting humour? It’s possible but I can’t see someone like Charles making such weird comments. Even when they were beefing, Charles made it known that him and Max are okay and even though they are not best friends their relationship or hang out outside the paddock (back then things are different now) he still loved racing against Max because they understood each other and how they raced.

It’s actually petty for grown men to belittle their friend because of his success. But what do I know, the sport destroyed a childhood friendship (Nico + Lewis) Maybe only the realest and toughest friendships survive. Viva Charles and Max (whether you ship them or as friends) it’s real and they are always rooting for each other.

Sorry this got long.

yeah, i feel like the difference between daniel's current place in f1 and max's is playing a significant factor. again, max joined RBR when he was essentially still a teenager that was battling with puberty. daniel was there as the mature driver that max looked up to.

now, fast forward to 2024, daniel is fighting for his last chance at f1 after many unsuccessful team moves, and max is much more mature and has 3 WDC titles under his belt. that certainly changes things.

so i'm sure that if for whatever reason rbr kicks out checo and daniel jumps in, their dynamic would be different.

lando, on the other hand, is a different story. @tsarinablogs had a great post where someone suggested "I think Lando couldnt handle his car actually being competitive. Thats what weakened their friendship. It’s easy to be friends when you are driving a slow car, but then the car actually got competitive and he still couldnt beat Max."

again, the truth is -- f1 is a highly competitive environment and everyone will fight for themselves first without a doubt. that's what's happening with daniel and lando. daniel wants that red bull seat, lando wants to beat max. and that is going to be their priority over whatever friendly relationship they may have with max.

on the other hand, there are only 20 drivers in f1 so you have 20 other co-workers who share the same experiences as you. so you will always be closer to them than anyone else because no one would get you that well.

i think what works well currently between max and charles is that no matter how much media tried to put them against each other, they alway showed mutual respect to each other. charles never talked shit about max in press, and the overall vibe they have going on recently is that charles is happy for max's success, and is working hard to gain his own. also their actions speak a lot -- like charles' putting aside ferrari's questionable qatar strategy and rushing to congratulate max on his WDC. or max running to charles to apologise for his mistake in vegas.

their relationship doesn't seem to be definined by their racing results, and their joint racing history also makes them more equal in their own eyes than other drivers.

#charles leclerc #lestappen gate 2023 #lestappen #formula 1 #f1 #lestappen gate 2024

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aestherin · 1 year

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scaramouche as your bbf (spoiler: turned bf)

filo smau + hcs

note: the brainrots were too hard to resist, i'm sorry 💔 i felt so single putangina??

scara as your boy bestfriend hcs

nagpapalusot sa teacher for you 'pag late ka

lagi kang sinasayaw for parties like acquaintance parties, etc.

'pag sabay kayong mag-commute libre niya pamasahe mo lagi !!

he would willingly do late night study sessions with you 💓

laging may dalang hair tie even if he doesn't need it just so he can provide you one if ever kailanganin mo

if you play online games, you'd play games together!

he'd always protect you even if that meant losing the 'mvp' title

mamatay na lahat kahit siya, 'wag lang ikaw 💔

would take good pics of you (candid or not)

will always always always listen to your song recs (he even made a playlist of them)

sends you tiktoks or ig reels he knows you'd like

'yung matching keychains niyo na nakuha niyo from somewhere (arcade, shopee, idk, bahala ka) nakasabit sa bag niya; it doesn't matter if 'di match sa aesthetic or vibes niya.

there was this one time na naulan and naiwanan mo 'yung payong mo

so he shared his umbrella with you.

siya 'yung may-ari pero siya pa 'yung mas nabasa </3

nakain kayo and the crew messed your order up?

he'll tell them for you ❤️

will always be proud of your achievements as if they are his own.

will listen to your rants, it doesn't matter if it's long or mababaw or random or anything.

he'll always listen.

scara as your boyfriend hcs

same as what he does when he was just your bbf pero syempre may nadagdag !!

always the first to greet you 'good morning'

will send you playlists that he made

hour-long calls !!

will always request to video call with you kapag super miss ka na niya (kailan ba hindi)

always asks for your parents' permission din whenever you guys go on a date

botong-boto sa kaniya parents mo to the point na parang mas anak na trato sa kaniya kesa sa'yo </3

if you like flowers, almost every week ka niyang binibigyan

parang subscription lang gano'n haha

if you don't, edi wala.

his love language, first and foremost, is physical touch.

second ay acts of service ❤️

if he sees someone eyeing you or being interested in you, he would be clingy af.

he does this to show na taken ka na.

but mostly,

he does this because he likes to reassure himself that you're his.

and that's the universal truth, the unchangeable fact.

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n7cloacadestroyer · 2 months

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"ACAB applies to Garrus"

I've heard this independently 3-4 times over the past week, and it strikes me as such an odd thing to say. Not because it isn't true--we know Garrus wasn't above working a suspect over if he thought it would make them talk. Like, he wasn't just a cop, he was kind of a dirty one. Not in the same way as someone like Harkin, but definitely in the "you better hope his hunch doesn't lead him to you or you're getting beaten with a rubber hose until you tell him what he wants to hear" kind of way. Which is arguably just as bad, if not worse.

No, the reason it's such an odd thing to say is that ACAB honestly applies to about half of the characters in the visible universe of Mass Effect. It's a very "save us, military industrial complex," sort of narrative in many respects--up to and including the part where all the politicians and diplomats basically have "beta cuck," or "dick dastardly's understudy," tattooed on their forehead with very few exceptions.

That's just something you have to accept if you want to enjoy the series. It's a star war, not an insightful commentary on power structures and the abuse of the people therein.

If you want to evaluate it as one, then there are quite a few bigger fish in this particular pond. The Citadel Council alone is one of the most abusable legislative mechanisms conceivable, and admission to their ranks is predicated solely on approval by the current Council. The council whose individual votes would be weakened by adding another member. Not to mention that the idea of an individual speaking for their entire species is bananas on its face.

And not to put too fine a point on it, but Shepard is a fed. Like, a "clandestine intervention and special operations" kind of fed. ACAB absolutely applies to them too.

The Point™: The Mass Effect universe was created solely to facilitate a role playing game in which the player had more narrative freedom than was typical of AAA titles at the time. If you apply any degree of knowledge regarding sociology or political science, the thing falls apart faster than the M-44 Hammerhead. Basically anybody who has spent more than five minutes thinking about it could tell you that. Anybody can also tell you that if the game mirrored an effective and equitable political process, there probably wouldn't be much call to splatter some faceless space pirate against a wall with your dark energy mind powers. If you want to be all cinemasins about it, that's your call, but I don't think you would make a very good action game going about it that way.

I'm not trying to say that you're wrong if you don't like Garrus. It's a matter of opinion, first and foremost. There are valid reasons to dislike him. Like his elevator conversations, for example. But it's more than a little disingenuous to pretend he is uniquely or egregiously problematic in his abuse of power while we control Commander Shepard--the literal avatar of abusing their power with little to no consequences.

#op #mass effect #commander shepard #mass effect trilogy #mass effect lore #garrus #MELE #mass effect legendary edition #garrus vakarian #mass effect politics #meta #text

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jq37 · 6 days

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FH Junior Year Post-Season Thoughts

With another season of Fantasy High in the books and my recaps all finished, I wanted to do an overview of my thoughts on the season as a whole. Even though I feel generally positive about my experience with the season, there are a few things I think maybe could have been done differently narratively or mechanically. This isn't to criticize the way the season went down or to backseat DM/Play. More my combined ten years of college for textual analysis and storytelling bleeding through, haha.

I first want to start with the things I thought worked really well.

Fantasy High has "High" right in its title but, in past seasons (and especially Sophomore Year), not as much time as you'd think was spent actually at school and even if it was spent at school, there wasn't much time spent in class or engaging with the realities of being a student. This season really dug into the academic consequences of skipping your classes all the time and the realities of needing to do a ton of extra stuff to try for a scholarship and I think that was a refreshing thing to highlight for a change. Being more scared at flunking out than the dragon that's trying to eat you feels very emotionally resonant. Real "High School Is Killing Me" vibes for anyone who's a fan of NPMD.

Even though Fantasy High is a show that has some deep emotional beats and strong character arcs, it's first and foremost a comedy show. From the jump, everyone was generating bit after bit that had me cracking up as usual. "Little girly dog collar" is one of the funniest combinations of words I can think of. I think it was Siobhan who said that this was the goofy season and, having seen it, I'd have to agree with her. It never failed to make me laugh and it was always a highlight of my week. The cast just has great table chemistry that I love to watch no matter what they're doing.

Watching some of these high level combat encounters is as close as I'll get to understanding people watching sports. Even though combat is generally my least fave part of D&D, I think the cast really killed it this season with how cleverly they played and Brennan came up with some really great combat encounters. Special shout outs to Baron's Game and The Last Stand for their unique mechanics.

This is going to be one that's on the other list as well because my feelings are mixed, but I genuinely do like the downtime mechanic and how it forces hard choices. I think it's an interesting way to connect a mechanic to the story and cultivate stressful atmosphere for the season.

I have problems with the execution but I love the Rat Grinders in concept. I think as early as season 1 I was hoping that we'd meet a party that was like the Bizarro Bad Kids and the idea of a party that's farming XP instead of going on crazy adventures is a strong concept. Likewise, I think a character that's jealous because of your "cool" (read: tragic) backstory is also a fun trait for an unhinged antagonist in this kind of setting.

This is me absolutely showing my bias but I adored the Abernant Sisters content this season. I dunno if Siobhan specifically asked Brennan to not put her on a bus with the other beloved NPCs or what but I'm so glad she stuck around and we got the development we did. It was almost entirely ancillary to the plot but there was this clear pattern of Aelwyn getting softer and sweeter towards Adaine over the course of the season, from the guarded, "Enjoy the nemesis ward," to, full I love you's and, "I'd take them to get you." It was way more focus than I expected considering that Aelwyn completed the bulk of her arc last season and a lot of the time, a redemption arc basically ends after the big gesture (in this case, Aelwyn taking a magic blast for Adaine in Sophomore Year). So the fact that we got to see all of these sweet moments of them reestablishing their relationship outside of do or die moments was such a pleasant surprise. Again, I fully admit I am extremely biased, but this was my top wishlist item and the season overdelivered so there's a baseline happy I'm always gonna be with Junior Year.

OK, so moving on to things I things I think could have been tweaked.

Even though I liked the downtime system and the pressures it created, it also squeezed out the chance for more casual PC to NPC interactions that would usually be more common because they were semi-locked behind the relationship track and there wasn't an obvious benefit to roll for Relationships (as opposed to something like Academics which was crucial for not flunking out). Making the mechanical benefit more clear would have helped that (even if it meant Brennan didn't get his reveal--which he ended up just telling them anyway so might as well do it early). The other thing is that the consequence of a rage token was so bad that of course they spent all season avoiding getting one. Things might have gone differently if the consequences had been a bit more obscured, like in Neverafter. And it could have been a nice parallel to the Rat Grinders to take this unknown resource that makes things easier for you but is also having this negative effect. Then it could be like dang we did the same thing they did unknowingly.

I mentioned this in my recap but I'll talk about it again. It is a little confusing to me that we did the Ankarna subplot right after we did the very similar Cassandra subplot. It took up so much time this season which I don't think is an issue in and of itself, it's just that we literally just went through some extremely similar beats last season. Why double up on this same storyline when there's so much new ground to cover? Or if we're going to raise a god, why not make it a different kind of god? One theory I had early on was that the Rat Grinders were trying to raise their own god to one-up the Bad Kids but instead of raising a chill, misunderstood Cass type, they accidentally raised a god who was erased for a good reason and got in over their heads.

It's fun for there to be connections between seasons but sometimes it's like, OK that's a *lot* of coincidences. Like the god who your rivals is trying to raise *happens* to be the wife of your cleric's god and also *happens* to be the god of the fiend trapped in your friend's mom's chest and that fiend *happens* to be the relative on your bard's dad's side which is *also* the reason she is randomly cursed? That's a LOT of red string connecting plot points. As unhinged as Kipperlilly is about coveting Riz's backstory if I saw that go down I'd be like you have *got* to be kidding me.

The mystery elements didn't feel like they clicked as well as they did in other seasons. I think that's partially because Porter's plan was so convoluted (seriously, I made another post about how haphazard his plan was) and had all these moving parts and we didn't get clear answers for a lot of mechanical things like how the rage crystals actually work and when they were implanted and stuff. You had stuff like Devil's Honey which I think is super cool as a thing that exists in the world but ended up being an element that just led the players down the wrong path and had a relatively small payoff (that Porter was using it to lie to Ankarna). I think it's plausible that a forgotten god would be willing to listen to anyone saying the right things without introducing this element. (As opposed to, for instance, Ambrosia which has a very clear connection to what's going on and is a solid clue that someone is flirting with aspirations of godhood.)

The Porter reveal came so late in the season that even though it was a fun/challenging fight, there wasn't a lot of emotional weight behind killing him. It was basically just dunking on a teacher Fig has always hated who was also mean to Gorgug so screw him. Which, valid of course. But the Bad Kids were never going to react as strongly to Porter as they were to the Rat Grinders so putting Porter in the prime villain spot isn't necessarily what I would have done if I wanted the fight to be more than just a brawl--especially since we've done "School admin with student minions" already in S1. I don't mind the full circle callback but it would have been nice to pick something else for the sake of variety. We haven't had a child mastermind yet and I think Kipperlilly could have been a great candidate for that. My friend suggested that it would have been fun if Kipperlilly was trying to become a god instead of just being Porter's underling and I agree. "I'm not anyone's chosen one so I'll choose myself," is still within her established jealousy and Type A tendencies. If we want to keep Porter involved since that was Brennan's gift to Emily, maybe have it be that instead of Kipperlilly working for him, he's working for her. Like Artemis Fowl vibes! And the Rat Grinders can be varying levels of on board--from true believe to redeemable. I don't think Brennan planned for the Bad Kids to ever redeem her so might as well go full megalomaniacal mastermind with her and make her The Villain if she's not gonna be nuanced anyway. If My Little Pony can do it and send a literal child to Tartarus for pony treason (or whatever Cozy Glow did), Fantasy High can too.

Continuing from the above, if we have the Porter fight in place of the Grix fight (a la Daybreak) and don't use Ankarna, that gives way more time for the Bad Kids to investigate the Rat Grinders throughout the season and it would mean that they would have their personalities developed a lot more. With the limited downtime, they Bad Kids didn't have a lot of time to spend on these kids who were just hating on them for no good reason (valid). But if you cleared their plate of the god hunt stuff, they'd have more time for this. And if they weren't all rage zombies to varying degrees, it would be easier to see them as characters. Besides Kipperlilly (and, funnily enough, Mary Ann) we don't really have a good read on what these kids are actually like. The little time we spent with them all season was kind of a wash if them breaking out of rage means their personalities got laundered too. Anyway, regardless of how their loyalties ended up shaking out, it would have been fun for them to be more than the minions that they were in canon. As funny as it is for them to just kinda be XP farming losers, they did have the potential to be more interesting in their own right if they weren't just Porter's minions. And again, we've done adults forcing or coercing children into being minions in Freshman and Sophomore Year already. Lemme see some self-created child maniacs! (Or, peer pressured child maniacs. That's cool too. The Lucy/Kipperlilly dynamic is way more interesting to me if it's like girl, I would take a bullet for you but I CANNOT walk this path with you any further in response to *I* will be a god and you can be *MY* champion.)

Anyway, those are my thoughts! Like I said, I have my points that I think could have been tightened, but overall an enjoyable season and I will be glued to my screen if they decide to close out with Senior Year!

#dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #spoilers #I had so much fun with this season but the overall plot makes my brain throw up question marks if I map it out or think about it too hard #but then I think about adaine and aelwyn at basrar's and it's like wow 10/10 flawless execution #I don't know if I've been clear enough about this over the season but I LIKE kipperlilly as a character #I think she sucks and that's great #I think she should be worse actually #like own it #don't be a pawn in some loser's plan be your own girlboss #grind those rats chug that ambrosia #be the teenage demi-god you think you deserve to be and drag your friends into your plan with the sheer force of your personality #make it 100% sure that there's a spot in hell waiting for you when you get sent there #imagine the level of vitriol they had towards kipperlilly as is and then imagine she has legendary actions #I think her going down to riz like a chump is such a huge W for riz and fitting for how the narrative played out #but to use wrestling terms for a second #it was a waste of a LOT of heat #Porter didn't have NEARLY as much heat as she did

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multific · 1 year

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Sugardaddy Jesse Cromeans - Preference

Jesse Cromeans x Reader

Warnings: Smut

You were nothing like the woman he killed. You were so different and yet, you piqued his interest more than anything.

He knew he needed to have you in one way or another.

You were too precious to kill, so he used the one thing he had, money.

Seeing just how bad of a financial situation you were in, he knew he didn't need to use much convincing.

And soon you became his sugarbaby. Although you hated the title so he just called you 'My Girl'. At least that was your name in his phone.

You at first found his text to speech thingy a bit scuffed, but it was a good communication form. And you got used to it quickly.

At the beginning of your relationship, he wouldn't tell you about his hobby. It is because he decided to distance you from his bad side.

You are the most precious flower, how could he ever taint your perfection with such horrible scenes? You were not meant to see blood and bodies laying around.

He would often tell you that he is on a trip and he would always come back with many many gifts. Forget any clothing you had in the past, Jesse would hire a stylist to help and create a new wardrobe for you.

Clothes, jewellery and anything you can ask for.

It was all yours within moments of you saying anything. No matter the price.

You would fail to notice, but in a way, these techniques were so you wouldn't start poking your nose around.

He would walk around with you, showing you off to everyone. You wouldn't know why he loved to see you in silver metallic dresses, but who were you to ask?

When he finally decided to share that side of him with you, if you were honest, you kind of expected it.

He was happy to see you not freaking out, he paid special attention to you and you not even once tried to call the cops.

He loved that.

It was proof you were fully his.

And as a reward, he planned a romantic weekend.

Now, sex with him before and after knowing wouldn't be different.

First and foremost, he would never do something you are not comfortable with. Communication is key. So expect him to bring up topics like that during dinner.

He loved to tie you down. Of course, he is the dominant, no matter what position you two are in.

You would call him Daddy, of course.

Loves to hear you moan and groan. Wants you to keep making those sounds, he even records them if you give permission. He would use it as your notification sound.

Imagine him, sitting in an important meeting, all business, everyone serious and then, you send a text. Your loud moans echo in his meeting room, everyone freezes as he reaches into his pocket and replies to your text. No one dares to ask. No one dares to comment or even give a side eye to him.

In bed, he could be rough, never to the point of hurting you. He would love to edge, overstimulate and make you squirt. Even if you say you can't, doesn't mean he wouldn't try.

Aftercare with him is always sweet.

He would never run off after, he would stay and make sure you are okay. You can be fucked out to the point of being delirious, he would always take care of you. Clean you, shower you, and give you many many kisses.

Being his sugarbaby would not last longer than a couple years, because after having you around long enough, he would have to have you fully to himself so he would ask you to marry him.

Taglist: @fleursirvart @greenarrowhead @thisismysecrethappyplace @sincerelyfan @theoneanna @aestheticsandmarvel @rororo06 @castellandiangelo @destynelseclipsa @spilledinkindumpster @capsiclesdoll @puknow @alwayshave-faith @soleil-dor @alex12948 @lxdyred ��@imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek @praline357 @trshngyn @avengers-r-us @violet-19999 @top1bbgloak

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS

#jesse cromeans #jesse cromeans x reader #jesse cromeans imagine #jesse cromeans imagines #chromeskull #chromeskull x reader #chromeskull imagine #chromeskull imagines #chromeskull laid to rest #slasher #slasher short #slasher x reader #slasher imagine #slasher imagines #slasher x fem reader #sugar daddy chromeskull #chromeskull preferences

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eluxcastar · 1 year

Text

A guide to surviving the Harbingers

── ୨୧：fatui harbingers & reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: as a servant directly to the tsaritsa, there is a specific (unofficial) rule set that is passed around amongst you that you must follow in order to survive most interactions with the current eleven fatui harbingers.

୨୧﹑genre :: idk man what is this

୨୧﹑content :: all of these people are as awful as possible, reader is completely unmentioned/implied to be reading this (woaaa), some points are purposely vague

୨୧﹑words :: 742

so I got like half way through writing this and I was like "I feel like someone has done this before", so if something like this does exist props to the writer

first and foremost: all orders are absolute, your position depends heavily on your compliance. insubordination and attitude in front of the wrong person will get you no further than a six foot hole in the ground. sir and ma'am are important to some, less so to others.

do not ever refer casually to the jester. his name carries weight even among the somewhat secluded ranks of the Tsaritsa's servants. his word outweighs almost everyone and he is never to be trifled with. remain calm. remain polite. don't speak unless spoken to, and never more than necessary. complete all work around him as quickly, quietly and with as much precision as possible. any sign of incompetence is grounds for him to have you stripped of your position and punished harshly.

the doctor runs low on subjects frequently. keep his stock filled no matter where the people have to come from. several sources are available. the head maid will help newcomers learn of these. staying out of both his laboratory and his way completely will keep you from becoming a part of the next group. it's best not to become very attached to any of his assistants.

Tartaglia is deceptively kind. don't be afraid of his smile, don't be too slow with fulfilling his requests—they won't be requests if you make him wait. unlike most, he seems more aggressive than he is. don't worry, his eagerness for fighting does not extend to those who cannot fight unless you stand in his way. do not speak a word of official affairs, titles, formalities or position in the presence of his siblings.

don't refuse Sandrone's gifts, but understand that they can quickly become bad omens. those who she becomes fond of receive many of her gifts, her affectionate gifts will lead to less than favourable fates. she can be avoided, and she is usually not hostile towards those who she only finds passively annoying or uninteresting. she only gives gifts to the ones she likes.

if you hear the voice of the damselette, you should leave the area before she sees you and busy yourself in a place where you can no longer hear her. Colombina's song is for the ears of few, and servants do not fit that group.

out of everyone, Arlecchino is most dangerous to someone forced to be subservient to her. her words can sound prettier than they are, and she is polite even to servants, but she is a spider who crafts a neat little web for the poor souls who are unlucky enough to anger her, or catch her in a particularly foul mood.

Pulcinella is the second to avoid. remain polite. respect your elders. do not follow Sandrone's steps; deny his kindness. act as if inconveniencing him would be a detriment to your greater conscience so that it would no longer be kindness. his offers are never for your benefit.

in line with her ideals, La Signora has those she likes and those who can only irritate her. if she likes you, tread carefully, obey her orders and fulfil any and all wishes she has of you regardless of your opinion on the matter. it's not important. don't question, don't challenge. if you are among those she doesn't like, assign your tasks to those she does. it's better you don't find out what happens when a rat gets on her nerves.

Capitano can be frightful, but his commands are simple and easy to follow at a glance. treat his words like orders. there are many things you can get out of easier than you think, many you cannot. stay out of them all. he is strong; he can break you.

the regrator and his generosity are never what they seem. luxuries come at a steep cost, one that few are willing to pay, however it's best not to go too far and test your luck. Pantalone is never so benevolent he gives out gifts at the same price for ever, the market changes too quickly. don't be caught in that trap and there's nothing to worry about.

though praises for him are quite few and far between, the Balladeer is quite easy to deal with if the day is good. he expects for orders to be carried out quickly, efficiently and exactly as he gives them. he doesn't not take kindly to initiative and can see it as issuing your own orders. wait for his word. orders will come.

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bnha-imagines-only · 1 year

Note

may we have some kinda angsty headcanons for Iida, Kirishima, and Keigo overhearing their crush say that they made a promise to themself to never date heroes because of how messy it can be and there’s little to no privacy and heroes always have to choose the world, and this causes them to rethink some a some stuff?

please, and thank you ❤️‍🩹

A/N: Thank you for the request!

CW: General Light Angst, Unspoken/Unrequited Romantic Feelings, Reference to the Stain Arc.

Characters x GN!Reader: Tenya Iida, Eijirou Kirishima, and Keigo Takami

• Iida falls for you as a student, quietly nursing his crush with the knowledge that a high school romance would distract from him becoming a top-tier hero—the entire reason he’s attending this school. There’s a small part of him that thinks it’s a right person, wrong time situation and after he settles into the routine of coursework he might confess. Provided, of course, you’re available and his feelings are requited.

• Iida is, first and foremost, embarrassed to have eavesdropped on your private conversation with a friend. In his defense, your lunch table is close to the line and your friend group is pretty loud.

• One of your friends is dreamily discussing Kamui Woods when you confess that you promised yourself you’d never date a professional hero. And you make good points: the lifestyle is messy, the hours are inconsistent, both press and fans invade the family’s privacy, heroes have a greater obligation than one’s own personal life, etc.

• Of the three, Iida has an interesting perspective on this, because he’s the second son in a family that has spent generations in the hero business. If you were having this conversation with him, he might feel compelled to make this argument with you; he grew up in a happy home, well-loved, and there’s no professional reason that a job title meant a hero had to neglect their family. It’s all about balance.

• Because he’s only overheard your thoughts on the matter, Iida chooses not to intrude, pushing his feelings down. It makes him sad, even though he understands your position from a pragmatic point of view, and his mood toward his coursework dampens for a few weeks. He wonders if you have similar stances toward other jobs that pose risks, like police officers or firefighters, or toward jobs with very long hours that might keep your spouse away from home.

• Iida doesn’t want to convince you otherwise so much as he wants to understand, but he doesn’t consider himself close enough to you to ask.

• He doesn’t truly understand your position until his brother is injured.

• That’s the first time he’s ever wondered whether the hero path is really for him. He’s never seen his mother cry like that. And the anger he feels—that’s something else entirely.

• Iida never speaks to you regarding that opinion he heard, all those weeks ago—and although his heartbeat quickens when he sees you in the halls, he decides to never confess. After all, who would know what you want better than you?

• Although he occasionally wonders what might have been, he doesn’t feel it appropriate to convince you otherwise and feels responsible for upholding his brother’s mantle. He goes on with life wondering if maybe you were the one that got away.

• Kirishima is also a student when he falls for you, and he gets it when he hears you discussing the kind of spouse you’d want—or more specifically not want—with one of your friends in the hallway.

• Instead of associating your view with heroes in general, Kirishima does take it personally. Would you feel that way if he was stronger, braver, better? If his quirk was different? Maybe the “right kind” of hero would impress you.

• Unlike Iida, who pulls away out of respect for you, Kirishima gets friendlier. Just because you won’t date a hero doesn’t mean he can’t be your friend, right? And that’s good enough for him… even though he feels like he’s on fire every time your shoulder accidentally bumps him, or like he may melt whenever you shoot a smile his way.

• So, Kirishima dedicated himself to being nice, and that comes pretty naturally for him. You end up good friends.

• Kirishima comes off as incredibly genuine, and your general studies friend group becomes quite fond of the 1-A hero student that kept seeming to make time for you all. He hides his crush so well that they’re convinced he’s just that friendly, a typical himbo hero, and your friend group becomes his first set of fans. Positive energy all around, since you can respect what he does and still not want to date him.

• The only one of the three who actually would broach the subject, in his own tentative way. Long after he’d overheard that conversation, long after you’d become friends, he fields it: “Have you ever thought about… like sometimes I worry about what it will be like for my spouse. If they’ll be worried all the time, you know? If marrying a hero is too much weight on someone’s shoulders?”

• It’s not a confession per se, so presuming you haven’t changed your mind in the time you’ve known each other, he’ll field your concerns and finally get some closure. Maybe you have a specific reason to not want to date a hero, maybe the career you want to pursue is also demanding and you’d like a spouse that’s more flexible to reconcile that, etc. Either way, he feels a little better knowing it’s not a personal fault of his own.

• I don’t think he ever genuinely considers not being a hero to be with you, because it was his childhood dream. The closest he comes is when you enter a serious relationship with someone else, someone not a hero.

• Because you’re friends at this point, he’s happy for you. He really is. He just wonders sometimes if he’d decided to be something different, if he’d been a general studies student instead, that could be him holding your hand at lunch.

• His hero course friends need him too, and he does think he’s doing what he’s meant to do in being a hero. You’ll always be his favorite “what if?”

• Hawks would be the least likely to let it affect his behavior, because the Hero Commission is consistently in his business, so he completely understands. He’s actually not supposed to date—it impacts his popularity.

• Will it stop him from flirting with you at every opportunity? Absolutely not.

• Hanging around the office and cracking jokes for “group morale.” Not so he can try and make you laugh, nope, no way.

• You’re an admin working at the Hero Commission, so it does surprise him when he overhears you discussing with a coworker how you could never be with a hero. You may respect everything they do from a professional standpoint, but you need more from a partner.

• Hawks understands, and it’s not like the higher-ups would let him date you anyway, but oof is it a blow to his ego.

• You, like most of the people in the office, are used to his playful exuberance. It seems to be business as normal after he overhears you. He continues to make small talk and platonically tease you, just like before.

• When he’s alone, he does reflect on his life. If things were different, if he’d been born to a different set of parents, if he’d never been picked up by the Commission.

• But then again, were it not for his job, he may have never met you in the first place. He can’t bring himself to regret it. He thinks it’s worth it as long as he can enjoy your presence at the Commission.

• One day, it’s mentioned to him that you’ve put in notice. You’d accepted some cushy position in another field with less demanding hours than Hero Commission Admin. He took a very lengthy fly around the city to convince himself he was fine.

• When he shook your hand at your office farewell party, you thought he was only being polite when he said to keep in touch and reach out if you need anything at all. He meant it.

…

My inbox is currently open for more requests, hope you enjoyed 🥰

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #tenya iida #tenya iida x reader #eijirou kirishima #eijirou kirishima x reader #keigo takami #keigo takami x reader

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wordbunch · 2 years

Text

being in love with Elrond...

a/n: I never know what to do with titles!!! ugh. anyway, I’m not responsible for this, it just happened... he’s so sweet and I love him. no warnings, no explicit content, just fluff!

“love at first sight” type of love

you both needed to exchange about 3 sentences altogether to start falling for each other

he looks at you and talks about you as if you put all the stars in the sky

so many loving looks you don’t notice when you’re focused on something

you make sure to remind him that he can share all the burdens with you, even though he really doesn’t want to trouble you with anything

but both of you end up sharing everything and anything with each other

Elrond would LOVE to pick up meaningful little gifts for you, or anything that reminded him of you (also think of how Durin got the new table for Disa - this Elf would have no problem charming anyone to get something that you wanted)

you really love to be physically close, even if it’s just having linked arms or legs touching under the table (he cannot let you slip away, ever)

whenever that is possible, you’d love to accompany him on any kind of journey

simultaneously he likes it, because he really hates to be away from you, but also he finds it stressful, because what if something happens?

(but a small part of him also enjoys subtly showing you off in a way, like, hey, look, THAT is my beloved!!!)

Elrond knows you’re capable of protecting yourself, and strong and fierce, but he still has a strong desire to protect you - too many important figures had disappeared from his life already

sometimes you would have small arguments about his protectiveness, but sometimes you would let him do it

besides that, you’d never argue about anything else, really

except talking about every topic imaginable, being in silence together is also enjoyable, if you’re reading something, or just taking a stroll

on those days when he is extra busy, he would move mountains just to spend a bit of free time with you - it brings so much joy and peace

sometimes there’s a lot on his mind, so he can be a tiny bit forgetful, but you look out for him extra carefully on those days (remind him to go stretch out and get some air, maybe drink something, just take a small break)

in those moments, he feels like the happiest, most loved being in the whole Middle-earth

not just in those moments, in all moments

you make him so happy, he’s just glowing constantly, and he makes you just as happy

you can read him really well, even if he doesn’t talk about something

he wants to be unbelievably affectionate towards you, but is still super respectful and so many times he will ask if it’s alright to kiss you or something like that

even if you’ve seen each other 10 times in one day, Elrond is still absolutely elated every time he sees you

every. time.

being apart is almost unbearable, so you really try to avoid that, but the reunions after time away are so happy and full of love and you just run towards him without a care in the world and give him the tightest of all hugs

Elrond is so amazed by your beauty that sometimes he forgets what he was going to say to you... so he often writes you little poems, notes, or letters when he feels like it

you save every single one and treasure them so much

he likes to come up from behind you, nuzzle his face in your neck and give you little kisses or just breathe in your scent

you have a very calming effect on him, feels like home, and he almost melts at even the smallest show of affection

learning things together, for example about constellations, plants, history...

first and foremost, you’re each other’s dearest friends, and then lovers

it’s uncommon for one of you to even be seen without the other, but whenever one needs space, they get it

there is no way to be sure of what the future brings, but one thing is certain - you have each other’s undying love and support no matter what

basically you two invented love and that’s it

#my post #rings of power #lotr #lord of the rings #lotr rop #young elrond #elrond x reader #lord of the rings the rings of power #elrond #lotr trop #trop #the rings of power #from my pocketses

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stuffymcstuffsworld · 9 months

Text

13 Days

You rubbed your temples, taking deep breaths. Devi, help you from the sheer stupidity of demons. Slowly, you raised your head to look at the current idiots seated before you.

Trying your best not to strangle anyone. Honestly... it was like dealing with toddlers! "So, let me see if I understand this correctly." Your tone was stern and indicating you didn't want to be interrupted.

"You want me." Pointing at yourself to make sure that you got your point across. "To be the new Demon King." You gestured to the empty chair that had been vacated for what seemed like eternity.

You watched as several members of the 13 crowns nodded. Some though glared poisonously at you. How the hell had it come to this? You glared at Baal, who glared back just as angrily with a clenched jaw.

This was all his fault. You just knew it deep down in your core. It all happened because he just had to mention replacing the demon kind at the party. Although you could tell it wasn't his expected outcome.

Henri stood up from his seat. "You are probably the most capable for the position outside of the 3 greats who have made their disinterest clear." You offered a blank stare in return. You certainly didn't want it. You were a parent to 13 children, and you didn't have time to goof off.

"Your strength has made you very appealing as a candidate as well." Amaymon agreed. You looked at the wolf in horror. No! They can't agree on this! This is betrayal of the highest order!

Amarylilis purred in excitement. "Your charisma is off the charts. You are very popular amount of all the clans." Oh devi, this wasn't happening. "All that mischief you cause in your wake to is most amusing." Belial commented, adding to your internal panick. How dare he!

"You've also shown that you are through in all your work as well. There is a lot of backlog due to the absence of a demon king." You shuddered at Astaroh's remark. Just how much abandoned paperwork was there with that title.

Oh... wait a minute. No, no, no. "Some would claim that you being rankless automatically disqualifies you." Levi said calmly you nodded hopefully, yes! Can't do it.

"But..." Why the hell was there a 'but'????!!! "Your disregard for such a system is precisely how previous kings have acted. I'd say it practically makes you king already!" Why! Just why devi did she have to look so happy about it???

You counted in your head '3, 4, 5, 6....6????' You couldn't have another yes that meant majority vote. You glanced at Sullivan trying to convey the 'this is insane' & 'don't you dare do this to me!' At the same time.

Sullivan stood up and made his way to you. "In the end, the choice is yours. But I'd like to offer a solution that could satisfy everyone. How about a trial period? That way, you can say with certainty whether or not this is something you want."

You looked at him warily. "13 days, and if I don't like it, I'm stopping effective immediately." Sullivan smiled and patted your shoulder. "Of course, my dear. That being said," he knelt down before you and took your hand gently resting his temple to it.

"I will support you in any matter no matter what." He had sealed your fate. You let out an annoyed huff. He looked far too satisfied for your liking. "13 Days," you reminded. "Papa will make sure of it." He confirms.

**Day one**

Opera had far too much fun dressing you up for your first day as Demon King. You couldn't find it in yourself to scold them, though. You looked devine. You had seen paintings and pictures before of what was assumed to be images of deities. And you looked like you could walk among them.

Tight leather that clung to your figure in such flattering ways, dark eyeliner that made you look bold and fierce. Nails and hair made to perfection. Boots that reached mid calf and had thick steel toes, good for delivering heavy kicks.

Of course, Sullivan made a big deal about it and took a billion pictures of you throughout the day. First and foremost, you plowed through all that freaking paperwork that had been forgotten.

It took you hours! Of course, you weren't gonna just sign or stamp something without reading it. You were no puppet. By the time all 13 crowns had arrived, they found you in your chair finishing up a mountain sized pile.

You glanced up. "My time is precious to me, and you think you can just come and go as you please?" You gestured to the piles of paperwork that laid at each chair. "Nobody is leaving this damn room until we're all caught up." Several crowns paled at the workload. It was rather large.

"How efficient!" Henri praised as he stared his own pile. "No efficient is that I have gone through, stacked, sorted, edited, and presented all of this and the other papers currently waiting in my office before you got here." Annoyance clear in your tone.

"There's more!" Yelped Amaymon, earning him a quick smack from one of the other crowns. You shifted so that you were lounging sideways in your chair. "Papa, what time did I arrive here?" You asked sweetly.

"Why you walked through the doors precisely at midnight, my dear not a second more or less!" His response quick and egar to please. "And the current time?" You asked while eyeing the 13 crowns. "It's a half past six, my dear!"

You nodded while setting another paper neatly in your ongoing pile. "And who was here to greet me the new Demon King when I arrived?" This question makes several of the crowns flinch.

"Why that was me, Belial, Levi and Belzebuth!" He cheered. You nodded again before sitting straight back against the large throne and drumming your fingers on one of the arm rests.

"So would anyone care to state why, most that supported me accepting this title were not there for my first moments as Demon King?" Again, another flinch. "No? Fine then, Bezlzebuth, tell me why you arrived?"

The older demon looked up from his paperwork. "Regardless of whether I supported your coming to power or not, you are my king now, are you not? I should be available to you at all times as your assistant." You hummed in response.

"Yes, and you have been worthy of your position. Your assistance is most appropriate." You eyed the others who remained standing. "What are you all standing around for? Get to work. I'm gonna make every one of you work till the moment this trial ends. By day 13, you'll be begging me to quit."

**Day two**

Well, you had accomplished catching up with all the paperwork. Most of the crowns looked like zombies at this point, but that didn't matter. Not when you were meeting with all the heads of clans in an hour.

You quickly brushed through your hair. Sent reminder texts to all the kids and put on more perfume because there was no time for a shower at this point. Guests were already arriving, and you had to change.

Away went the leathers now you draped yourself in warm pelts and furs. Adorning yourself with jewelry made up of bone. This wasn't about looking good. It was about sending a warning not to touch you or yours. This image was about intimidation.

Sullivan helped you paint runes on your arms and neck and even drew a few on your bare back in case. A more barbaric look. Yet, it suited you in a strange and disturbing way.

Making your way down the hall your feet quick and confident as the doors swung open for you. Many leaders eyed you. Instead of seating yourself on the thrown, placing yourself above them, you grabbed a cushion and placed it on the floor. Their eyes watching your every move.

"I am not stupid, I will not be looking down on you from on high while I hold a temporary position." You sat and waited. A buzzed filled the room. You seemed to have pleased many of them just by doing this.

Negotiations lasted 3 days. But many disputes had been settled. A large amount of trade had been discussed, and you seemed to gain favor with many demons in regard to how you handled everything. You were their king.

Clever with words, patient when hearing. You simplified many problems and narrowed down options. You also weren't a fool. Tired, though you may have been, you did not allow anyone to try and strong arm you or to make strange dealings.

**Day five**

Not gonna lie. You spent most of the day sleeping with the 13 crowns. Not your usual source of sleep cuddles, but after 4 days straight of no sleep, you couldn't complain.

**Day six**

You examined the borders. Dressed casually and wearing a veil to prevent anyone from recognizing you. It almost felt relaxing that you were outside again, but you really missed the kids.

This took 4 days to complete, and after almost getting eaten by various plants or stabbed by stray weapons coming from nearby battlefields, you were done. You waved off any concerns with a-. "I have no time to worry about death." Assaination attempts were possible, but you just knew that Sullivan wouldn't let anything harm you.

If you had so much as a scratch, you'd worry he would destroy an entire clan. You really didn't want that to happen. Too much paperwork afterwards.

Arriving back to the tower on day 10, you were met with a surprise. Poro-chan. Standing in the middle of the room, looking ready to kill you.

**Day ten**

You eyed the demon with ire. You really couldn't understand their reasoning at all. They had such a warped personality. Especially when it came to the former Demon King.

"HOW DARE YOU TRY AND TAKE HIS PLACE!" They roared. Fury blazed in their eyes as you looked at them. Truly, Poro looked ready to eat you and spit you back out.

"How dare you be such a hypocrite." You snapped back. Startling the musical genius. "Oh, you love him, but then you leave him alone for who knows how long while he is bound here by responsibilities! Then, you come back practically waving your freedom in his face as you go on and on about all you've seen. Only to leave him again!"

You advanced slowly, watching as Poro backed up, looking at you, heartbroken. "But you already knew that, didn't you? You knew how much he wanted to explore and break free, and that terrified you." They gasped and stumbled falling backwards.

"You were scared of never seeing him, so you wished for him to be bound to a single place so that you would always know where he was!" Pointing your finger in his face as you hissed out words of conspiracy and resentment.

"N-no i -" He tried to gasp out shock, covering his features now. "But he loved you!" You said lowly, lowering your hand. "What?" The question is small and hesitant as if unsure what had been said.

"I SAID HE LOVED YOU! YOU FREAKING IDIOT!" You shrieked tears now forming in your own eyes. "He loved you so much, and he knew that tying you down wouldn't make you happy. He knew you were the loveliest when you were free. Coming and going like the wind. And time after time, he let you go."

Poro was now a sobbing mess before you. You offered no comfort. "You say I am taking his place? Fine then. I'm taking it. I'm taking it, so stop it, Poro-Chan. Enough already. Set him free. The one you seek is no longer here.... move on from this place." You walked past the mourning demon.

His sobs filling your soul with dispare. If he saw you as the villain, then so be it, but he needed to move on. A love like his was toxic, ruining him from the inside out.

Your back was facing the once proud demon. You would allow them to have the smallest amount of privacy you could offer. You weren't sure if what you said had been true. But he needed some kind of closure at this point. He had been holding on for too long. Even by demonic standards.

"We'll speak again after we've both composed ourselves." You stated bluntly before exiting the room. You spent several hours on the phone with your kids after that.

**Day 11**

Sullivan and Opera covered you in silks and satans of various colors. The breezy feeling you got reminded you so much of walking on air. Your hair had pearls woven in, and you walked barefoot about the tower.

It was a look that screamed innocence, and it was the armor you would wear when facing Poro a second time. You opted to not met in the tower itself but in a meadow just outside of tower. It was peaceful and less intimidating than the inner walls.

You sat calmly by the pond and waited. It did not take long. The tall demon lowered himself besides you. Both of you are sitting in silence.

"Are you gonna tell me what they want with Iruma?" You eventually asked. The former 13 crown member flinched. You looked at him.

"I'm not stupid, and neither are you. But you are desperate and desperate ones believe anything." You kept your voice calm and measured.

"They want his mana. It's Del-chans mana." The musician sounded so broken as he admits his betrayal. "And what you believe that just by having it, he'll be brought back?" You questioned.

"I j- I just want to see him again." The miserable sound coming from his throat was raw and guttural. "Do you believe he would be happy? Do you think he'd like being forced back?" You were cautious knowing that the demon you were questioning was close to an evil cycle.

"Stop that! Stop acting like you know him! I know him!" Even as he started throwing his fit, you remained. Unmoved. "That's why I'm asking you." Your words floating on the breeze.

Somehow, for the rest of the day, you had a large crying demon in your lap as you continued your work and messaged your kids. Making you miss them even more than you had already. 'Just two more days.' You thought trying to vanish your stress with that.

**Day twelve**

Party planning. You were setting up a party for tomorrow to celebrate your last day as Demon King. It seemed like the whole netherworld was invited.

You happily tasted sweets and allowed Poro to be as picky as he'd like with the music. Your father happily helped you pick and plan everything as you went. While the others excluding a few.

*cough* Baal *Cough*

We're actually trying to convince you to stay. Absolutely not. You had done more than enough. You had done more in a few days than most of them had in the years they had this position.

You had 13 kids you couldn't wait to go home and cuddle with. You might not leave the house for several days after this. Sounded sooo lovely.

**Day thirteen**

You practically flew through the day. Paperwork? Done, Decorations? All set up and on display. Your outfit? You looked like part of the Milky Way, considering how many gems are attached to you.

You shone throughout the entire night. Spinning around on the floor, excited to actually see all your children. You hugged, you cried, you laughed, and you cheered.

You happily escorted Clara around her first fancy party. You kept up with all of Lied and Goemon's exciting news that you missed. All while ensuring that Kamui didn't harass any of the ladies tonight.

Alice and Sabro danced with you a few times while you watched Iruma. Trying everything on the tables like the hungry little demon he was turning out to be. Kerori and Elizabetta chatted about all the designs they had seen tonight, and Jazz would teasingly swipe your accessories throughout the event.

You rested from time to time with Picero on his comfy cloud. While Allocer and Soi seemed more content with being wallflower and watching as the chaos went on through the night. Overall a great night.

But as soon as the clock struck midnight, you kicked off your shoes. Picked up both Soi and Iruma, who happened to be the two children closest to you and ran out the door screaming.

"Frrrrreeeeeeeeedddddoooommmmm" With your other children laughing and racing to catch up. Yes, you definitely hated every moment you missed.

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underscar · 1 year

Text

SHAMELESS

Pairing: Himeno/Male Reader

Summary: Public safety devil hunters are walking hypocrites with morals all over the place like a messy puzzle. That's what they live up to as clichés and stereotypes. In spite of this, Himeno has only come across a few who stand out from this stereotype. You are one. You were the ideal man: married, sickly faithful, and ambition. And Himeno wanted a piece of that, and she typically gets what she wants. It was difficult to keep things on the down low when Himeno openly flirted at work, despite your efforts. You were ashamed of your actions at first, but as time went on, you began to realize and accept how crucial it was to have this affair while you still had the chance.

CHAINSAW MAN MASTERLIST | TAGLIST

A/N: I was really nervous writing this as i’m im not overall confident in my portrayal of a male reader so it shows a bit in the writing, not my best, but never my worst.

WORD COUNT // 2561 words

WARNINGS: Infidelity/Unfaithfulness

CSM TAGLIST: @loveydoveydouche

Devil hunters lack morals.

They are individuals who, as their name implies, fight against Devils whenever a threat associated with them arises in the world. In this profession, contracts are made with thus Devils. Morals and even self-respect are exchanged for diabolical leverage for the chance to thwart the next beast. The last straw, in the eyes of the public, is these devil hunters buddy up with bloodstained fiends. Unlike police officers, firefighters, or soldiers—public safety devil hunters are not viewed as noble or selfless; despite public safety in the title. Ironic, isn’t it?

The foremost duty of devil hunters, private or public, is to vanquish and kill the never-ending spawn of Devils and fiends. Not explicitly to protect the general public.

Therefore they’re seen as kooks and replaceable beings. Otherwise no good for society other than to fall for the Devil's playtime. Just there to capitalise on the job’s benefits or the ultra-violence of it all. No matter how many of these workers die or many are employed, nothing ever changes in the eyes of the masses.

They have no sympathy for these devil hunters when there’s continually another Devil or another killing spree from some wild fiend, and ultimately, another sum of dead folk.

Due to these viewpoints, devil hunters are quite shameless and venomous in their thoughts and actions. Hemeno was no exception to this; however, she felt that you were one of the exceptions.

You were around three years older than her and close to thirty. Younger in devil-hunting expirence though.

You two were more so acquaintances than buddies to anything else. Himeno has always seen you around, saying brief hellos and asking how the weather is doing over the past few years. Mindless chatter that mostly went in and out. You had often hung around your partner, Nikola, an older Russian man, on smoke breaks. She recalls that anytime the divisions went out drinking, he would force you to tag along.

Himeno would make flirtatious advances, frequently while drunk, but your response were unwavering:

You’d chuckle. “I’m married. Thank you.”

And she would smirk at that. “Yeah. You’re welcome.”

Again, the job you all possessed was to kill devils; not protect the public.

However, you didn’t view it as cynically. You rejected the stigma that surrounded devil hunters and found your profession to be just as respectable as law enforcement or the army; the army being a part of your family's legacy for generations and you, yourself, formerly being enlisted, if Himeno’s memory was doing her any good.

You were not a rookie with lofty aspirations and notions that vanished within days on the job. No, you were righteous. Almost like someone she knew. You wanted to protect people and end the Devil’s reign.

And Himeno was charmed by that.

Nowadays, Himeno frequently saw you lingering near the coffee maker when you were taking brief breaks; typically typing away on your phone. After the death of your long-time partner, you lingered at the workplace longer than you did before and took fewer smoking breaks. Since Nikola isn't there to be with you, she assumed it was too nostalgic for you. She felt compelled to approach you since you were now always alone.

Today you were currently lounging once again close to the pot and occasionally sipping from your thermos that steamed even from a distance. And today was the day that she was going to approach you.

“Hey! Any extra Joe in that pot?” she asked.

Lowering your phone, you looked up and noticed Himeno approaching you, alone. She was typically beside that Hayakawa guy so you kind of just expected him to be at her side.

You removed your right ear bud since you didn't fully understand all she said; however, her fixation on the coffee maker allowed you to put two and two together.

Your shoulders slouched. “Oh. My bad, Himeno. I only made two servings for my cup.”

Himeno leaned her upper body onto the counter. She childishly pouted. "Aww, man,” she uttered.

She laid her chin into her folded arms that almost acted like a pillow. Her lip protruded and briefly attracted your attention before you spoke up, simultaneously lifting yourself up from against the counter.

You sighed before pocketing your phone and earbuds. “I’ll cook you up a pot real quick,” you offered; you moved yourself to begin cooking up the coffee.

Himeno winked up at you, a lazy, smug smirk on her face. “Thank you~” she sung.

She was motionless as she leaned her weight across the countertop, in front of the coffee maker, may you add, and also in your way. So while cooking up the coffee, you had to get a bit too up close and personal to her; however, she didn't appear to notice or have a problem with it. She just giggled like a school girl. If you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought she was intoxicated.

Her hip every now and then would bump yours whenever you reached over her, one of those subtle but imposing touches that made you jolt.

Your concentration was strained as you cooked the coffee, trying to distract yourself from Himeno. You refused to look at her curving form underneath you, but you could still hear her nonetheless. She hummed some song, sounding familiar, a nursery rhyme you heard as a kid perhaps, when you offhandly listened to her. Though you were too ambivalent to ask her or to even make a conversation.

You shook the thoughts away as you focused on pouring the beans into the filter. You then poured all of the water into the corner of the machine and reached to close the lid. In the next moment, after securing the lid closed, you span out to press the start button. However, the sound of Himeno's voice stops you in your tracks.

“Hey, ______. What was your wife’s name again?”

All of the Himeno-induced disorientation disappears when your wife is brought up, slapping you back to reality. Himeno's form was still beside and below you, and you shifted your head to look at her, for the first time in this encounter. Instead of returning your gaze, she fixed her attention on the counter as her elbow rested on it and her cheek rested in her hand.

After a brief moment of almost startled silence, you realized you hadn't spoken a thing, which just made you continue to look. She didn't appear uptight or uneasy at all during the awkward pause that followed her awkward inquiry. Simply put, you questioned why she would even bring up your wife.

You cleared your throat. “…It’s Emiko. I don’t…think I ever mentioned it before anyway.” You went over for your cup from beside you and took a sip to distract yourself. For some strange reason, the coffee burned your throat almost as much as the words you said did

Himeno didn’t respond; she just nodded.

That's the first and only time she ever outwardly mentioned your wife.

“Hehe, _____. You got a smoke?” Himeno asked.

It was a stupid question. You had a cigarette in your mouth and were outdoors in the smoking area at the back. You sure would be out of place if you didn’t.

Himeno kept popping up in your life after the awkward incident at the coffee maker a month earlier. Because of Himeno’s first appearance, you had began moving your breaks from the coffee machine back to the outside smoking area. It was your safe haven for two days before Himeno found you there and has been there ever since.

Though now, Himeno begun joining you for smoke breaks, replacing Nikola, and timing her breaks with yours. At first, it was nice. It was nice to get back into the habit of smoking, well, at least it felt nice.

It made everything feel like it went away for a moment as smoke punctured your lungs in a embrace.

And each time she showed, if it wasn't already difficult to maintain professionalism due to the way Himeno is naturally, you began to feel as though she was seducing you. Considering how naturally flirtatious she is, you really couldn't tell if this was done on design or by accident. Perhaps you were the issue because of your deteriorating level of loyalty to Emiko, your wife. Yes, your wife. You kept reminding yourself of Emiko.

Though you hate to admit it, the thought of her nowadays brought you dread.

“None to share,” you said. “Sorry.”

Himeno leaned against the wall beside you. “How about I win it from you, huh? In a good ole game of p.o.k.e.r!”

After she made you download poker to your phone, you two had made it your thing. She became irritated when you idly browsed on your phone and didn't talk to her, therefore the game was meant to get your attention on her. You shared an interest in smoking and playing poker. You would both often place bets to keep things exciting. Small bills were the initial phase, followed by promises, then other things.

Nikola was never as nagging. Though he wasn’t as attractive as your new smoking partner was either.

You sighed. “Sure.”

Himeno beamed and whipped out her phone. You unconsciously followed behind her, removing the dwarfing cigarette from between your lips.

She giggled as she set up the match on her phone.“Arencha gonna ask what you’ll get if you win?”

As you had drank with Himeno before, you heard this a lot and had a idea of what she would offer. While a portion of you was irritated, another aspect of you—one that was as powerful as your dominant hand—was interested.

Himeno grinned as she grabbed your arm, and dragged you down to her height in response to your silence, her phone down at her hip in the other. She whispered, and you could feel her smiling on your neck.

“If you win, you’ll get a kiss~”

This you responded quickly to. “…I’d rather just win.”

Himeno saw that despite your words, you did not push her away. “I’d rather just kiss you.”

You had actively avoided Himeno since and haven't seen her for a few days now.

During breaks, you stayed away from the coffee maker in the office and instead headed outside for the nearby cafe. Even though your wife disliked it when you smoked in the car, you would just flee to it when you wanted a puff of smoke. You didn't care what she thought at the time; rather, you just wanted Himeno off your mind because she had crossed the line of separation once again.

These days, you didn't generally wasn't sent out on devil-hunter assignments; waiting for your new partner's assignment. Given that Nikola had been your partner for such a long time, you weren't sure if the length of time you had been waiting was customary.

“God, Nikola,” you whispered to no one but yourself.

With the exception of you and a few vacant desks, the office was empty. Everyone else was sent off to catch some wild fiend, or something. So you were left here to file some paperwork for Makima; though you got distracted with everything conquering your mind at the moment.

Although each of you was given a cubicle, nobody really used them. More so since people were changed out so frequently and it was too much trouble to add and remove names every day or so. If someone passed away, nobody even bothered to clean them out unless the family wanted to do so themselves.

It was beneficial for you that Nikola had left his cubicle uncleaned and untouched, and had no family, as you found comfort within the four thin walls. Everything was precisely as he had left it, from the battle metals on the walls to the lighter in the corner. This cubicle had been him home away from home. Wherever that was.

“You missing Nikola?”

Himeno was standing behind your old partner's desk as you turned around. She had a skirt on; smaller and tighter than appropriate. She was playing a trick on you and luring you once more. The skirt was both figuratively and literally, inappropriate. She was supposed to be out tracking down a devil with Hayakawa and the rest of the division, but judging by the skirt, there was little chance of that. In that type of pencil skirt, you couldn't defeat no Devil.

You turned back to Nikola’s metal on the wall. “What do you want, Himeno?” you grumbled.

“I want you to talk to me.”

You huffed; laughing without the humour. “Yeah. As if that’s all you want from me. Bullshit.”

Himeno was silent for a moment, and you simply waited for her to depart before you took any action rashly. Himeno, though, was unwilling to give in. She walked up to the desk, sat down on it, and crossed her legs. You maintained your gaze on the wall of metals but in the corner of your eyes, you could see her thinking. She looked up at the ceiling in thought as the words escaped her lips.

“I don’t deny…that I want more, _____.” Her lip quirked a bit at the clicheness of it all, but she restrained it.

She adds. “But I’m a little shy, you know?”

She was bullshitting you and you knew this. Himeno was the least reserved of the group, so you knew you should have let her know you didn't buy her bullshit. You knew she wasn’t being genuine but, nonetheless, when you were with Himeno, you forgot about all the stress in your life.

The death of your partner,

the arguments with family,

and your pregnant wife at home.

When Himeno was nearby and willing to satisfy your desire, none of it mattered. Your life was made more exciting by her. Work ceased to be challenging and started to serve as an outlet for you. Even if it was just for a little moment, life wasn't all that difficult. She took to the nicotine you allow inside. And your poor wife, whom you love so dearly, was hardly visible through the blissful stupor.

“…Bullshit.”

And you decided you had wanted her too. And you were no longer a little shy in this affair.

You glanced at her figure.

You didn't understand why you two continued to play this game when everyone in the division was aware of your illicit relationships. You knew they knew that Himeno had got you stuck in her trap. That this relationship got beyond professionalism months ago. None, however, gave a damn enough to inform your wife; due to the fact that devil hunters are vile individuals. Nevertheless, the world did not end as a result. The world won't end if you cheat on your wife if the option is there.

You already dropped the package. The least you could do now is preserve this blunt.

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