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vasito-de-leche · 4 months

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Could we have some Zima relationship headcanons :]

;R1999 ZIMA - Relationship Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons about Zima in a romantic relationship.

ofc you can nonnie, ty for the request! Zima was the other character that got me into the game so he's very dear to me

also also, I'm not sick anymore so I have some steam to work on requests, hehe <3 still working on the sleepy fics though, don't worry yall!

I haven't done a proper analysis/HCs post on Zima yet, so as usual I'll be talking a little about his character before getting into the whole relationship aspect of things!

The portrayal of Zima as a stereotypical, shy introvert feels extremely reductive to me, especially when it's all attributed to his speech pattern - the pauses, the stuttering... None of it is an indication of timidness. We have to remember that Zima's native language, like many other characters, is not english and he struggles when speaking it. That's the reason he speaks in such a way, there's a language barrier he's constantly fighting against in order to communicate with others and yet he's clearly trying.

There's an emphasis on loneliness, isolation and avoidance in his character that is impossible to ignore, which seems to add to the whole portrayal of Zima as a "shy baby". But again, this is something that comes from an important part of his life - the exile he went through. Him being socially inept is a result of a punishment, years of being alone with no one but animals to keep him company. It doesn't come from a sense of inferiority or insecurity such as Charlie, but an absolute lack of human contact.

When examining his voicelines, we also see that he's opinionated - criticizing the Tsar and the poor living conditions of the people, speaking of the beauty of nature and so on and so forth. He explicitly writes poems on any surface like trees, rocks and snow, even if he knows they'll be washed away overtime.

I understand that it's extremely easy to dismiss Zima when it comes to romance because of all of these details, his isolating ways and all, but he's a poet first and foremost.

While he may not be romantic in the more traditional sense we're used to, he's extremely insightful and takes a lot of care to appreciate the small details that often go overlooked, but that make life feel more lively and rich. In the context of relationships, given his age and his lifestyle, Zima would bring a completely different type of vibe - for comparison, most of the characters I talked about already lean towards high emotions, the fun of discovering love for the first time, etc etc...

Pavia's love is a whole rollercoaster on his own because there's always the chance of either getting hurt or having the time of your life, Forget Me Not's feels exactly like being hungover in the morning. But Zima's love is more like coming home after a long trip, knowing there's a warm meal waiting for you. It's familiar and calm.

On the subject of Zima falling in love.

Zima is used to introspection, so I genuinely believe he has a strong sense of self and a good grasp on his emotions. He quickly realizes when he's fallen for someone and he accepts it easily, despite the lack of romantic interactions in his life. This is because the object of his affections is, most likely, someone he already cherishes, and who puts the effort into maintaining a good friendship with him - so the idea of being in love with them feels natural!

I can't see Zima pursuing romantic relationships with strangers and/or those outside his close circle, not even a surface attraction beyond artistic appreciation for someone's looks. He strikes me as the type who can only fall in love with those he trusts and knows.

And even then, his behaviour wouldn't change much!

It's obvious that he lacks friends, so the very few people he does have are extremely important to him - even so, Zima does not need to constantly orbit around them and will gladly spend days (and weeks if you don't actively seek him out) without seeing them, content to catch up with them whenever their paths cross. He shares what little he has to offer with everyone, practical things and knowledge. Zima is 100% that friend who disappears for months and returns as if nothing happened.

When it comes to you, it's the same. Sure, if you ask him to stay a little longer then he'll oblige you. And if you're the chatty type or find his work interesting, then he'll put the effort into having a conversation with you despite the language barrier. But that's about it, the changes aren't noticeable no matter how much he loves you, because all of that happens when no one is looking.

If you happen to stroll around in the wilderness, getting lost in the forest and all, then you might find your name carved on trees along with many, many poems. If you don't speak or read russian, then all you'll be able to recognize is your name - the very first thing Zima taught you in his native tongue - but these are all declarations of love.

The animals are kinder to you, curious even. They follow and treat you like an old friend, as if they knew you, because everything they've heard from you comes from Zima himself. They speak about everything and anything with him, after all.

Zima lacks the initiative to confess or even consider being in a proper relationship with you - I insist, he's genuinely content with being a close friend - but he also lacks the restraint to keep his feelings to himself and thus puts them on display in the only way he knows how: as a poorly kept secret between himself and the nature that surrounds him.

Not many think of him as a romantic because of how stoic he is, but when Zima is in love, he sees you in every flower, in the snowflakes that fall and kiss his nose. You're the gentle summer breeze and the crystal clear rivers once winter ends. You're right there beside him in spirit when he sees little chicks take flight for the first time, or when all the other forest critters wake up after hibernating. Zima finds beauty in every aspect of nature, and he sees you everywhere he looks.

That said, there's no way he'll take the first step. That's entirely up to you, to pick up all these things and confront him about it - that's the only time he'll be open and direct about his feelings. Because you already know how much you mean to him!

Zima would love to teach you his native language.

This is partially me projecting because english isn't my native language either, but I do like to think that Zima's english is all self-taught. He understands when others speak english, but isn't as fluent when speaking himself. And that's why it's sooo infuriating and frustrating for him, as a creative person and poet.

Not only because it's harder to communicate with others, but because his work and poems - the most important part of himself - can't be fully understood. Therefore HE can't be fully understood. Some translations, while good, can't even come close to their original meaning. As his partner, Zima wants you to understand the full depth of his affections and thoughts.

I do think that the process of learning would also be quite organic, starting with Zima simply pointing out at things and teaching you the way they're named in russian, basic stuff he does unconsciously. If you pick up things on your own from his work and his translations, Zima will be over the moon and would ask you to repeat yourself to make sure your pronunciation is right and because he loves the way his language sounds with your accent.

But if you approach and ask him to properly teach you? He's gone, instantly overwhelmed with emotion and thoughts racing in his head, trying to organize a million different things - what would be the best way to teach you? Should he start with the alphabet? You want to learn this brand new language to understand him better, that simple gesture is a huge deal for him.

Once you have a pretty good grasp on the language, at least enough to have basic conversations with him, it will feel like Zima has gotten a little bolder - addressing you with pet names, being generally more blunt and talkative... But in fact, he's just finally able to express himself in his totality.

This also goes the other way around - Zima would love to learn your own native language, whether it's english or something else. It's yet another language he can use to express himself, so it's a win-win. And I know that it's common for us multilingual people to start confusing and mixing all the languages we speak, but I think Zima would have an easy time keeping them apart, so to speak!

On the subject of Zima and how he acts when he's in a relationship.

You two were close friends before you were lovers, so Zima doesn't feel any sort of pressure to live up to some dating standards like fancy dates, gifts or grandiose displays of affections - once again, it's all about what feels natural. You two know each other more than enough to simply fall into a comfortable routine that works out for both.

He does make the effort to drop by more often, to find a middle ground until he feels more comfortable and used to being around large groups of people. But he would also insist that you accompany for his walks in search of inspiration for his work!

When it comes to showing affection, I think Zima might be a little touchstarved - casual physical contact such as someone hugging or patting him on the back as a greeting still catch him by surprise, but affectionate gestures with those he trusts and loves is a novelty that leaves Zima starry-eyed.

He has a lot of things that he needs to slowly get used to again now that he's not exiled in the middle of the woods, but having you shower him with affection is something that he grows to like rather quickly. When you pet him, pepper his face with kisses, hold his hand when walking or hug him - it doesn't matter, Zima will always stand there, fascinated with the way you make him feel, so very warm and safe.

He would appreciate a warning before being touched, and he always makes sure to ask before initiating anything himself - it doesn't matter how many times you tell him that you're fine with this sort of contact, he's going to ask for permission anyway. Just out of politeness. Personal space is important, after all.

I think Zima would try to stick to a routine he can follow without overwhelming himself, especially if you're the type to need more attention (again, Zima will literally disappear for weeks if left to his own devices). It's more of a short list of things he needs to remember to do before the day is over, the two most important ones being greeting you in the morning and wishing you goodnight.

As for more general aspects of a relationship, I don't think there's much to say! Arguments with him rarely happen because he's patient and careful with his words, he communicates his needs and boundaries as well as he respects yours and all. Zima isn't that talkative, but his more "eccentric" traits are something you're probably used to on account of that initial bond and trust.

#reverse 1999 #reverse: 1999 #reverse 1999 x reader #reverse 1999 headcanons #reverse 1999 zima #basically zima is emotionally mature and responsible so hes OBJECTIVELY the safest option out of all guys if youre looking for a partner #the worst thing that can happen is that he just forgets to tell you that he needs time alone to cool off and he disappears for 2 weeks #BUT YOU KNEW THAT WHEN YOU SIGNED UP TO BE HIS BUDDY SO ITS FINE #i got very fluffy with this one bc i love him so much okay no one look t me #hes not a baby hes a grown ass man!!!! but hes so cute!!!!! and i wanna kiss him!!!!!!!!#i wanna do a post analyzing him and all but my god. i dont know nearly enough abt russian history to even GO there

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a-libra-writes · 1 year

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do you have any romantic headcanons for rocky rickaby from lackadaisy? 👀

sweats ...yeah uhh yeah i got a whole lot so this may be long-winded and not particularly organized.....

Shout out to @pomegranate-pen and @lackadaisy-headcanon-supply-unit for also doing Rocky posts that gave me more food for thought and helped me solidify some thoughts 🤔 i def recommend their blogs as well

Firstly, this is a whole-ass crush-at-first-sight. Infatuation, even, because "crush" feels too light a word. The feelings just hit Rocky and he starts wanting to talk to this person more, or at least see them. This has happened many times in his life and the people almost always tell him off or just avoid him. He's aware of how he can ... be, so being brushed aside and outright rejected isn't new. But this person is talking back! And seems to want to?

In that case, he really can't help himself. He wants to be in their good graces, and learn more about them, and impress them! Oh, he'll do so much for you. Anthing, really, he'll run himself ragged, especially if it's something you really need done. You won't even realize how much he went through, you'd puzzle it together based off his beat up appearance and the state of the car and Freckle grumbling about something as he tries to hide the blood on his coat. Don't let him go so far, and make sure he rests.

Once the relationship is more official, Rocky may still feel the need to keep doing so many things for you, to make himself "useful" to you even if he already "has" you. It's a bad habit of his that's deeply ingrained and rooted in insecurity that you'll be tired of him or realize how burdensome he is and be done with him. It's better to channel his energy into helping with simple things, like fixing your car or getting some groceries or just keeping you company while you finish up work. Still, given his exuberant energy and clumsiness, even those simple things can get a little ... much. But perhaps that's part of the charm. He really is trying.

But hey, there will be endless poems and songs for you. Some spur of the moment, some words and phrases he's turned over and over in his head for a week and they all just spill out as soon as he sees you. Rocky probably isn't aware how sweet and romantic it is unless you spell it out, and that only encourages him further. He hums and taps out little melodies that remind him of you, then grab his violin and string them together. If you like theater, even better, he'll recite romantic lines and stanzas until the sun comes up. More than once you two have had an impromptu reenactment of the Balcony Scene, much to the Lackadaisy crew's annoyance.

Oh, and the pet names, they are endless. There's fairly normal ones like "angel" and "sweetheart" then some that are just ... A long string of poetic references to your eyes and smile and general being. "Don't run out of adjectives, dear," You've said more than once.

He's so disgustingly in love, it drives them a little batty, however at least you sort-of-kind-of keep him out of trouble? Or at least, you ground him a bit ... Okay, not really, but you patch him up afterward and he's more likely to take his nervous energy to you, not the bar. But if they have to hear about how the light sparkles in your eyes one more time --

(Mitzi really hates to get you involved with the business, but if you've got a steady head and can handle a gun, well ... I mean, if you can handle Rocky, maybe you're a good person to keep around ...)

And on the topic of patching up, good lord have you had to do it many times. If you weren't experienced in first aid before, you learn it quick. The black and purple bruises are the least of it, there's cuts and abrasions and don't even get started on the concussion. Sometimes, he's still surprised how upset and angry you get when he staggers up to the door and looks like he was put through a wringer. He'll try to be more careful for your sake, but ... well, he tries.

And tries and tries ... Are you noticing a pattern? When it comes to dates and nice things, Rocky really isn't experienced, but he wants to try, because it's for you! He'll get all sorts of advice from Ivy and Mitzi (he asked Viktor but ran off before he got the response) and does his best with it. It's tough if you're clearly from a well-off family, or used to the finer things ... But in the end, you both have the most fun with simple things. Going out for a fast drive in the country, or playing music together, or just chatting endlessly about everything until the sun comes up. He really, really can't remember the last time he was with someone for so long and so happy - except, maybe when he was staying with his aunt and Freckle? But there wasn't nearly this much talking and laughter. It's like a dream, or being drunk, or being endlessly inspired, or -- aaaand he's off waxing poetic again.

It's not just all the music and poetry, it's all the affection! Rocky soaks it up like he'll die without it, and, well ... He really went so long without such company and affection, perhaps that's true. He wants to be held, he wants to lean on you, he wants you to take his arm, he wants kisses and attention! It's just so affirming and reassuring and comforting, if you two have to go a while without seeing each other, he finds himself getting antsy and lonely. He travelled along railroads for years by himself, and suddenly being away from you for a few days is hurting this badly?

If you're someone who dislikes or is uncomfortable with physical affection, it'll be very tough, because he wants it so badly and he just does it without thinking. He'll rush at you for a big hug instead of saying "hi", or brush shoulders and lightly entwine your tail with his while he pests you about what you're working on. He wants to be considerate of your personal space, of course, so it'll take time and a lot of reminding him what is and isn't appropriate for you. Sleeping next to him means you will get cuddled and it's tough to peel him off once you wake up. At least he's a bit better about it in public, and at the bar, because Viktor can peel him off.

(An important caveat is if you're male or present as such, he's obviously far more careful in public, even if he's obviously on pins and needles for when it's safe to hold you again).

Another thing is the co-habitation, this being the 1920's and dependent on your family situation or upbringing. This may already be a "line" you both have crossed, since Rocky often shows up at your doorstep battered and ends up crashing on your couch, or you just say screw it and let him crash there after going on a run together. Actually sleeping in your room or, even more shockingly, moving in is something he has a hard time with. It's almost nerve-wracking. On one hand, isn't this what he wanted? Doesn't this prove you really, really want him around? But on the other hand, actually having that is somehow scary. Having a proper roof and a warm bed and food right in the fridge is .... a bit of a change from the living arrangements he's had for the past 5+ years. It takes some adjusting and easing into it.

Long story short, he is just a bundle of affection and adoration and quite a bit of insecurity and a little mania. Just ... a bit. Don't worry about it.

#'your song' from moulin rouge intensifies!!!!!!#i wont apologize for this i am obsessed with these fucking jazz cats #lackadaisy x reader #rocky rickaby x reader

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valriety · 2 years

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SDV: Bachelor Baking HCs <3

Post Type: SFW, Fluff, Platonic/Romantic x Reader, Mentions of Family in Alex and Shane.

Characters: Sam, Elliot, Harvey, Alex, Shane, and Sebastian.

GN Reader (You/Yours) - slight baker!reader.

The first installment of my baking headcanons for the romance-ables! Assumes a baker!reader, but you can also just read these as general headcanons. Enjoy!

'SDV: Bacherlorette Baking HCs <3' can be found here.

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Sam:

Lowkey probably has never even baked before. Just never had any interest in it. He really likes eating baked goods though! Especially the sweet stuff - total sweet tooth. Penny probably shares what she bakes for him sometimes.

He helps out sometimes in the kitchen at home, but nothing crazy.

If you like baking, and you invite him to come join, he is so down. He's not the best at it, and you'll need to guide him through a lot of the process, but he is so eager about it. Will request that you bake specific things together depending on what he's craving.

If he has a crush on you, he'll become more bold about his recipe requests, and will try to intitiate baking hangouts more often. The entire time he'll be sneaking glances at you with this cute slight blush on his face :)

He is no stranger to pretending to not know how to do something so you'll come over and help him too <3

If things get more serious, i can see him getting more into it, but it'll always be more your thing, and while he does get better, his skills are still pretty average. Your number one supporter though, brags about you and what you baked all the time.

Would love if you made pizza from scratch one night.

Overall Baking Skill: 2.5/5 - Please bake for this guy.

Harvey:

Actual closet baker. Has a cute apron and matching utensils. Wears it all the time.

He actually really enjoys baking, just not really the sweet stuff, instead he's really good at baking bread! He'll make it all from scratch, and even has a few starters setup - uses it for his lunches. Awkward whenever he tries to gift one of his loaves.

If you ever ask to bake with him, he'd accept, but only if you're at least good friends by this point. And he'd be a little hesitant about it too. Might pretend like he needs your direction at first, but he's pretty obvious, and you'll work out pretty quickly that he absolutely knows what he's doing.

If he has a crush on you, and you get past that initial shyness, will invite you to bake with him all the time. He's pretty dependable too! If there's anything you're unsure about, he'd be willing to teach you. May even put on the apron for you <3

If you're in a romantic relationship, will bake things for you all the time. Totally the type to put pretty designs into the bread as well, using herbs and wildflowers to experiment with flavour and color.

Overall Baking Skill: 5/5! Total kitchen wizard.

Elliot:

Another one to not really be seen baking unless someone invites him to do it. Except unlike Alex, who can make do, he's terrible at it. It's just not one of his fortes! He can cook... to an extent.... but his baking is on a whole 'nother level.

He does really enjoy it though, just... mostly aesthetically? The process of creating something from scratch, assembling the ingredients, kneading them together, and watching them become something beautiful - it's all very soothing to him. Loves the smell too.

Regardless of if you're in a platonic or romantic relationship, he would never decline an invitation to come bake with you. Though he would definitely stay on the sidelines, prefering to instead keep you company and hand you what you ask for. Forages with Leah sometimes, so may have some fresh ingredients on hand too!

Will send you recipes that remind him of you in the mail and include a short handwritten poem with every one <3

If he has a crush on you, or if you are in a romantic relationship with him, you might notice him making every excuse on earth to spend more time with you in the kitchen. And he'll do everything he can to help out too! Passing you tools, giving you praise, cleaning up after you, brushing the flour from your cheek... he's so sweet about it.

Will offer to feed you, and never fails to have the biggest grin on his face when you agree :,)

Also I feel like he'd really like pumpkin pie?

Overall Baking Skill: 0/5. Recipe for disaster.

Alex:

When he's not out training, or hanging with friends, Alex would definitely enjoy baking with Evelyn from time to time. He's a bit messy with the technique, and requires a lot of direction, but he really enjoys the process, and is fond of the bond created during.

He especially loves his grandmother's cookies, and will sometimes request flavours he's craving.

He doesn't bake frequently though, and he definitely doesn't attempt it often alone. Even when he follows a recipe, or tries to recall how his grandmother did it, he just can't get it right. So he usually prefers helping, it's the bonding he cares more about anyways.

If you enjoy baking, and you ask him to bake with you, he might be a little reluctant at first, worried that he'll mess up or won't be helpful. But be patient and keep asking! Once he sees that you're excited about it, he'll give it a go, so long as it's something simple :)

So flustered if he has a crush on you. When you try to feed him one, his cool exterior completely crumbles, cheeks flushing and unable to make eye contact.

If you guys move past friendship, and onto a romantic relationship baking dates may actually become more frequent! Acts of services is definitely a love language of his, so if baking was something you enjoyed, he'd try his best to become helpful to you, even going as far to trying a few recipes out alone for you try <3

Would absolutely invite you to come help bake with Evelyn.

Overall Baking Skill: 3/5. Doing the best he can.

Shane:

Listen, he CAN bake, he's actually not too bad at it even, he just never does. Honestly Shane never enjoyed cooking, he'd much prefer microwave meals, or grabbing a feed from the saloon. He just doesn't like it. In fact, the only reason he's any good at it at all is because of Jas.

Shane struggles a bit with Jas. He worries alot that he's not present enough for her, or that he can't be the father figure she needs, so every now and again he'll try to put in a little extra effort, just to show her he cares.

The first time he tried baking was for one of Jas' birthdays. It was a simple cake, something easy for his first time, but he had a lot of trouble following the recipe, and the kitchen was a mess after it. He almost swore never to do it again. But seeing her reaction made it all worth it. So if he does bake, it'll be with Jas.

Occasionally, he'll participate in a tea party with her too :,)

Honestly, if you wanted to bake with him, I don't see him doing it? At least not for a long time, and not until you were really good friends. If you do manage to rope him into it, he's more inclined to keep you company or pass you things, but will carry out tasks you ask him to do.

If he has a crush on you, he may very subtly hint towards certain recipes he'd like to try. And if you invite him to make these recipes with you, he'll probably ask if you'd like to share a drink with him as well, so he has something to blame his blush on lol <3

If things get a bit more serious, I'd also see him roping you into baking with him and Jas - smile on his face the entire time.

Overall Baking Skill: 2/5. Pretty average, pretty messy.

Sebastian:

Local basement dweller probably does not bake. Probably pretty impartial to sweet things as well, I reckon he's more of a savory guy. He's just not really interested in it, seeing more value in doing other things. Nothing wrong with it.

No one in his immediate friend group really does it all that much either, so he's also just never been roped into it.

If you liked baking, and you ever decided to invite him along for the ride, he'd actually be down for it. It's not his thing, but it's yours, and if it'd make you happy to spend time with him like that, he sees no reason to say no. Just... make sure to guide him along and give him tasks, otherwise he's completely lost :,)

If he has a crush on you, I could see him taking interest in your favourites - shyly requesting to cook those together next time. He'd try to appear nonchalant about the final product, but inside he's actually pretty happy he did it, especially after seeing your reaction. He's honestly inclined to do it again.

And if you guys do end up getting more serious, and he keeps up with baking together with you, he may actually even end up getting pretty good at it. Even going so far as to learn a few recipes by himself - like your favourites, or some bread for whenever you have pumpkin soup for dinner <3

Overall Baking Score: 3.5/5. A true skill leveler.

A/N: And that's all! Lemme know if you liked these, or if you'd like something similar :)

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lunarriviera · 4 months

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2023 ao3 wrapped

last year @programmedradly and i asked each other some questions, rather than try to field the entire thing. so we did the same thing this year! and here are my answers. i had a wild little annus mirabilis and somehow posted more work than i ever have before, so there was lots to choose from.

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3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

tragically, one of my dead doves: the wu xie/li cu fic “you bear your scars, you've done your time.” no one reads it because it's an age-gap pairing, and it's inherently tragic (post-sha hai fucked-up wu xie). it has 17 whole kudos and it fought for every one. but like a lot of my badwrong pairings, it's honestly some of my best writing. i wrote it fast and the action scenes are solid, the dialogue is good and even funny, and the sex scenes are miserable and scorching. oh well, they can put it in my norton critical edition after i'm dead lol.

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

readers seemed to like the pingxie kissing fic, which was funny to me because it's literally just…kissing. (i wanted to put in plot and/or sex but mumble was very stern with me: “this is a KISSING fic.”) i guess we all are still battered by canon and just want wu xie dozing by the carp pool and getting kissed.

6. Favorite title you used?

“the subtle fire," with its title from the calamus poems by walt whitman; all its subheadings are from whitman too. sadly otherwise this was the year of taylor, and i exhausted midnights and all the vault tracks. new year's resolution: moratorium on fic titles from tay.

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

somehow there were 18 dmbj fics. 😳 pingxie won out with 9 fics, followed by 6 heihua fics and then a smattering of rare pairs (not to say dead doves lol). there were 5 under the skin fics; at this point i post one of those like every two damm weeks because i'm down that bad.

10. What work was the quickest to write?

probably either of my drabbles—a little rpf prose poem for zhu yilong/unnamed photographer (still my most beloved pairing) or shen wei smoking a cigarette and zhao yunlan being horrified (and a little turned on).

11. What work took you the longest to write?

without a doubt, the 31k guardian fic i just posted. i got freaked out by its complexity and dropped it for a year, and then had to TOIL over all the canon details, because i didn't remember ANYTHING apparently (zhang shi who? fu you? li qian? what?). it took for fucking EVER to finish and i will NEVER write such a plotty monster again. the worst part was when ma gui randomly said, “oh there's a fifth hallow” at which point i was like “there's a WHAT NOW.” ironically that turned out to be the title. i hate characters that TALK and SAY SHIT.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

the pingxie epic 😭 i'm not sure if i even can ever finish it because it involves google searches like “recent tomb discoveries china” and “can you survive c4 explosion.” also it'll be another dead dove because it starts with wu xie divorcing bai haotian, and the iron triangle being broken up. and that's just the beginning. everyone will hate it, and instead read cute fics about liu sang being a fox, probably.

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

it's gotta be du cheng from under the skin. he embodies what is turning into my favorite character archetype, Big Dumb Hot Cop. so butch. so loyal. so stupid. just a blast to narrate. wu xie and hei xiazi have similar idiot energy but are also paradoxically very intelligent so that's more challenging. (writing xiaoge's dialogue is difficult as fuck. he can't just say "wu xie" ALL the time.)

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

possibly, after everything, the end (for me) of the zhu yilong/unnamed photographer series. other people may keep adding to it but i needed to let them go. they exist in such a liminal unsettled never-together bittersweet place for me and i felt grateful to have spent time with them, as weird as that is to say. i'll always love unnamed photographer, and his aesthetic yearning. MY ONE RPF SHIP THAT WENT CANON. 😭

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

indulging myself and submitting a few:

Even Huos had to sleep sometime, or hang upside down, or whatever it was they did to restore themselves. [x]

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Once he has him flat on his back again, with breathtaking pragmatism Shen Yi drips lube all over him, sinks down on him and then rides him so hard Du Cheng sees not just stars but entire constellations. [x]

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Xiaoge kissed his hair. "Hold still," he said, and Wu Xie could do that, no problem. He fell asleep that way, curled against Xiaoge’s naked skin, and dreamed he was watching Xiaoge plant moss in the moss garden, in impossible colors: turquoise, bright orange. A richly saturated luminous violet. [x]

•

Xiazi added so much condensed milk to Xie Yuchen’s coffee that he finally had to arrest his hand forcibly. “Stop trying to give me diabetes.” Xiazi’s smile was worse than the cloying milk. “It’s to match the sweetness in your soul, my little flower." “Oh my god,” said Xie Yuchen faintly, as Geya listened, to all appearances visibly entertained. “What do you want? Because I assume you want something. Money? Work? Is this a hostage situation?” Xiazi just smiled harder, but at least he put the milk down, in favor of giving Xie Yuchen another pain au chocolat. “Why does he get all the pastry?” Geya said, sounding disappointed. “It’s to build his strength,” Hei Xiazi told him, and the patently, horribly uxorious look on Xiazi’s face made Xie Yuchen want to hit someone.) [x]

•

Xiao Hua manages to bite back a tart comment about how challenging it is to keep looking younger than forty when one’s companion will never look any older. It takes more than expensive rose hip and argan oil and ceramides; it takes never skipping the gym, and always skipping dessert. It means going to bed at nine-thirty when he’d rather stay up reading, and above all it means not letting Hei Xiazi know about any of these little maneuvers, lest it not seem effortless. [x]

•

As Wu Xie started enthusiastically laying out the details—and why was he awake at this miserable hour?—Hei Xiazi pulled the pillow away from his face and started gently hitting Xie Yuchen with it. “Wu Xie, let me call you back later,” he said, arresting the pillow’s movement with one hand. “I have something I have to deal with here.” “Sure,” said Wu Xie, cheerful. Then: “I bought Pangzi an espresso machine, and he taught me how to use it! Xiaoge’s not here, I wish he’d come home. I had five cups! You should take Hei Xiazi with you, just in case things get complicated. They might. Get complicated, I mean. I'll tell you all about it. When will you call me?” Xie Yuchen fought not to laugh. “After sunrise, probably. Drink some water. And tell Pangzi I’m going to kill him.” [x]

•

Su Wan seems lost in thought for a minute. “I always thought maybe one day I would like guys, but I don’t.” Li Cu elbows him. “What about Hei-ye?” Su Wan looks horrified. “Yali, no! What a thought!” “Okay, okay,” says Li Cu, and drunkenly tousles his hair. “Calm down.” Yang Hao puts out his hand for the bottle. “Hei-ye is pretty cool, though,” he says, which is high praise from him. It’s true. They sit without saying anything for a moment, in silent contemplation of Hei Xiazi’s inarguable coolness. [x]

•

The things about you that other people find unsettling, those have somehow never bothered Wu Xie. You’re spooky, Hei Xiazi told you frankly, once. I am too, but I drown it out by talking. You’re so silent, our little Yaba Zhang. People are afraid of you. Xiazi had been right, and you knew it. But Wu Xie has never been afraid of you, not even once. You think about the first time you came back from behind the gate, how furious and desperate he’d been to know why you hadn’t come straight back to him. Demanding answers, wanting to know why you went, what you saw. And you remember gazing back at him, still mute with the magnitude of it. He could never have understood, but no one could, not even Wu Xie whose intelligence shone as clearly as an aura around him, glowing, burnished—still innocent, still young enough to be passionate. Whereas even at the time you felt every single one of your hundred years lying on you like a burden, like fallen trees pressing you into the loam, the moss, the muck. [x]

•

He’s still half-asleep, is the only thing that could possibly explain why Zhao Yunlan ducks under some low-slung branches and strolls right up to the water’s edge only to see Shen Wei, stripped naked, hip-deep in a pool of still clear water, combing through his unbraided hair with his fingers. Why is this a surprise. What was he thinking. And above all, why is he still walking towards him on automatic, as if drawn toward him, as if not caring whether Shen Wei would see him or stop— Shen Wei startles and looks up, motion arrested. He’s bent at the waist, rinsing bits of dirt and bracken from his hair, skin glowing like wet marble, and Zhao Yunlan suddenly wants him so badly he couldn’t make a fist if he had to. Shen Wei smiles, and Zhao Yunlan will never get enough of that smile, artless and full-hearted. All he can do is smile back, helplessly. [x]

#ao3 wrapped #2023 ao3 wrapped #ao3 writer #i have committed an act of fanfiction #thanks for a fabulous year everyone!#dmbj #heihua #pingxie #sha hai #mystery of the abyss #under the skin #镇魂 guardian

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itsjustdotsandcrosses · 8 months

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Oh! I just realized I could post the Apothrika original poems here as well for archiving purposes and to get some thoughts down

Restating what I said in the discord, I have never claimed to be good at poetry. Garren's is the shortest but the one I'm most proud of, the one that attacked me visceraly.

Also, Azure's is an iteration of a type of poem I've been writing about her since before the new campaign. It may be lacking full context as far as Violet's backstory but it still works I think.

As for Mira's, I just like the idea that no matter how they circle around each other or how Violet might envy or admire that Mira can actually talk to people like a normal person, they are equal in the shadows as rogues and assassins.

And I wrote Violet's after she started interrogating and asking Garren about his magic. Something about the perceived hostility of needing to know everything about everyone. The fact that she grew up in an evil cult, it must take a whole lifetime to carve that evil out of yourself, how do you know how to live? You can never get that time back, can never get rid of that paranoia.

Anyway. Is it annoying to also tag everyone here? Well I guess who else am I posting this for, who am I fooling lol. I just miss you all, so here's your gift again @crossdressingdeath @gaylord1027 @highonkraken and @bryswyth too.

#azure and violet #mira and violet #garren and violet #azure and garren and mira and violet #violet #also... do you like them? i think the poems are mediocre; more just words arranged artfully. but i feel them; they evoke something to me #so i guess that's something? anyway gamers give this post a like if you enjoyed #original

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lambdalibrary · 2 years

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LGBTQAbout+

Hello! :) The goal of this blog is to help people find lgbt books to read and my plan right now is to suggest a book I've read every day of pride month :)

I plan to give a quick summary and list of triggers if there are any as well as my own review of the book for each entry. If its a book thats easily accessible online I will also link it. But I'm also just kind of throwing this all together so the formatting may change who knows

My trigger warnings should mostly be accurate but I'm likely to miss things since it has been a while since I've read some of these so please seek out another trigger list or feel free to inform me if I miss any triggers.

On that note feel free to ask me to tag anything you need tagged :)

I will do my best to provide image IDs for every post i make but I've never done them before so feel free to tell me if they're helpful or what to change :)

I'm also hoping to accept suggestions for things to recommend/read myself if people want to give them because 1. I'm biased towards specifically lesbian and wlw fiction and nonfiction because well, I'm a lesbian so expect a lot of lesbian stuff and 2. I'm American and a lot of stuff I've read has been American and English literature so its more than a little limited in scope.

If people do want to give suggestions though I would prefer things that aren't young adult books or romances not because they can't be good but because I feel like those kinds of books get a lot of recognition already especially online. I would also prefer books written by LGBT authors <3

This blog supports trans women

Resources I use:

-> openlibrary you'll need to make an account to check out books but its completely free and they have a lot of books like an overwhelming amount

-> overdrive great for popular or more recent books, however depends on having a library card as it uses your local library or library network, so not everyone is going to have access to the same library inventory

-> project gutenberg collection of copyright free books, you're unlikely to find lots of lgbt books there aside from like...carmilla probably akljdnvljkasdskj but its a good resource in general

-> lambda literary/lambda awards not a collection of books to access but the lambda awards are a great place to start as they've been awarding and advocating for lgbt books for almost 40 years with a wide variety of categories from fiction to poetry to memoirs and it's where i've found a lot of good stuff :) its...also where i got the blog name from dkjlvandkvna

-> The StoryGraph a great alternative to GoodReads, especially in recommending new books. Also includes user submitted content warnings that describe how graphic or light the content is.

-> The Poetry Foundation which is good for finding excepts of poems or whole poems from collections. Especially good for famous poets, not so great for smaller poets.

-> The Digital Transgender Archive containing collections on trans history in every format on every topic.

-> TransReads a collection of works of every kind by trans authors including free downloads.

#about #not a rec

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freezethebeez · 2 years

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Sparked by the recent chapter which holy freaking heck btw, what are catalyst vampires attitudes towards humans? Do they think of them like livestock or is it more of a “our shortly lived evolutionary cousins who we need for food type deal”?

also, do vampires grow slowly and continuously through their lives and that’s why beau n ranboo are like that or is their whole lineage made up of people confidently hovering around the 7 foot range

1. what are vampires' attitudes towards humans?

honestly, it depends on the vampire. half-vampires tend to have a more positive attitude towards humans, obviously, being half human, and will drink out of blood bags purchased from clinics more often than full-vamps. it can vary a little more amongst full-vampires. beau raised ranboo to be empathetic and respectful towards humans, so that's how ranboo treats them (which may have backfired slightly because he feels bad if he so much as scares one). some vampires, however, see humans as nothing more than a food source, disposable and unimportant. most vampires see humans (as you said) as their weird cousins who they need to bite sometimes.

2. why are beau and ranboo so tall?

this explanation is going to sound a little silly and horrendously gay, but to put it simply: ranboo was going to be tall from the very beginning because it would just be wrong to make him short, and tall women are so [insert me fawning over tall women before promptly passing out and falling down a flight of stairs here], so beau also needed to be tall. vampires don't continuously grow throughout their lifetime, beau and ranboo (and raine, who was slightly taller than beau) are just a bunch of tall people.

i'm glad you liked chapter 8!! for a chapter that wasn't even supposed to exist, i think i did a pretty good job :] i might end up posting the poem i mentioned in the end notes at some point possibly.

#people asking me things #catalyst

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oldsalempost-blog · 1 month

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THE OLD SALEM POST

Our Local Tamassee-Salem SC Area News each Monday except holidays Contact: [email protected] Distributed to local businesses, town hall, library.

Volume 7 Issue 16 Week of April 1, 2024 https://www.tumblr.com/settings/blog/oldsalempost-blog Lynne Martin Publishing

EDITOR: Have you ever noticed when you are talking, you cannot listen. You also won’t listen if you already have your mind made up. A one-sided conversation is no conversation at all, especially if the talker, never listens, even when the other person is allowed to speak. Maybe that is why some people feel defeated and will not even try to stop something they know is wrong. It amazes me when so many people will not try. It makes me ask myself, what is wrong to allow unhealthy things to become normal? Pollution is wrong. Overdevelopment is wrong. Destruction of nature without replenishing or replanting is wrong. People need to start listening to what others are saying about the destruction of their beloved communities and the way of life they cherished. We need to stop the overdevelopment before we destroy everything good about the place we live. LynneRMartin

Childhood Poem: The wise old owl lived in the oak. The more he heard, the less he spoke. The less he spoke the more he heard. Why aren’t we like that wise old bird? Some credit this poem to Edward Richards other sources list unknown. One version of the poem is “the more he saw the less he spoke.” (I prefer the version I learned, and it makes more sense. The more I see the more I speak!) LRM

TOWN of SALEM: Located 5 Park Avenue * Visit the Downtown Market every Sat, Winter hours 9am-1pm. April 13th at 5PM with be the first Downtown Car Show this year. The Fire Department will be selling food. More information call 944-2819

SALEM LIBRARY: Located on 5B Park Avenue. Hours Monday 10am-6pm. Tues-Friday 9am-5pm. Closed 12-1 each day for lunch. You may request books or movies we do not have in stock. Visit us to find a wealth of opportunity! 944-0912 for more information.

Jottings from Miz Jeannie by Jeannie Barnwell. Miz Jeannie We were so deprived-- children of the 1940's and 1950's-- growing up without cell phones, television, and computers. The alternative was to TUNE IN to the conversations of grown ups. My father constantly repeated safety instructions so that we would NEVER forget his sound advice. Any time we lit a candle, Daddy would remind us, "Fire is a good servant, but a bad master." So true. ALWAYS KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE FLAME BECAUSE A TINY SPARK CAN IGNITE YOUR WHOLE HOUSE!!! I am an old granny now, but I never take my eyes off a glowing candle. In the fall, grand daughters Daphne and Margot come to visit. We use old candles to light up our jack o' lantern. Then we roast marshmallows over a crackling fire. This gives me the opportunity to pass down family wisdom. I envision that someday the girls will pass this advice on to their grand children. FIRE IS A GOOD SERVANT BUT A BAD MASTER Pass it on. Save a Life! Oconee County, I Love You! Take care of yourself and those whom the good Lord has placed in your care... Miz Jeannie

ASHTON RECALLS by Ashton Hester FISHING LAKE OPENED IN 1954 - In the early and mid 1950s, public fishing lakes were becoming a popular enterprise in Oconee County. The owner would stock the lake with fish--bream, bass and catfish--and charge a fee to fish there. Following is an advertisement for a fishing lake that was in the March 17, 1954 Keowee Courier: "Open For Fishing! Now in Second Year! Lake Diana - Located 7 miles northeast of Salem on Shallow Ford Road, Mrs. L.P. Head, Owner. Highway paved all the way. Over a ton of Blue Cats recently put in lake. Also stocked thoroughly last year with Bass, Bream, and Catfish. We serve delicious Country Ham and Catfish Dinners."

JOCASSEE VALLEY BREWING COMPANY,(JVBC) & COFFEE SHOP* 13412 N Hwy 11 Open Wed–Sat 9am-9pm and Sunday 2pm-7pm Events this week: Wed: Blue Grass Jam at 6:30pm. Food: Blue Ridge Grill. Thursday: Food: Blue Ridge Grill Fri: Music: The Binge at 6:30pm Food: Chocs BBQ Sat– Music: Spalding McIntosh at 6:30pm Food: Simple Sammies Sun: 2pm-7pm. More info 864-873-0048

Ecclesiastes 3:7 KJV:”.. A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; …”

2024 UPCOMING EVENTS April 26th, 7 PM Friday Evening Wellness Event: Reclaiming Our Inalienable Wellness Doors open at 6:30 PM Free event hosted by ENAC featuring speaker Meredith Orlowski, AFMC, INHC. Bring your friends and family along. Gain Energy, Lose Weight, Feel Happy, & Save the World While Doing it!

Mother’s Day Afternoon Tea on Saturday, May 4th from 2 PM-4 PM: Join us for a special afternoon and treat yourself to delicious goodies, hot tea, and a guest speaker! Our youngest guests will enjoy manicures and a craft! $10 per guest. All funds will be donated to support the Eagles Nest Art Center. There are also opportunities to sponsor a table for the event. To RSVP or find more information: Kayla or Emma Lusk at 864-903-0681

Oconee Mountain Opry: May 18th at 7PM. Jef Wilson, West End String Band, Mystery guests, comedy and more.

The Eagles Nest Treasure Store is open every Saturday morning 9AM-12PM. We are accepting donations during that time or call 864-557-2462. We still have many beautiful gowns short and long to choose from.

For Information on sponsorships, events, volunteering, donations, or rentals call 864-280-1258 or email us at [email protected]. Check out our website Eaglesnestartcenter.org as future events are added.

Rentals for birthday parties and class reunions. $100 for 4 hours minimum for the commons area ��

CHURCH NEWS Bethel Presbyterian Church (PCUSA), 580 Bethel Church Rd Walhalla, 29691. Worship at 10:30 a.m. Come visit us. All are welcomed! Boones Creek Baptist Church, 264 Boones Creek Road, Salem invites you to join us for regular worship service on Sunday morning with Sunday School at 10am and followed by worship at 11am.

Salem Methodist Church: 520 Church Street, Salem. 9AM for breakfast, 9:30AM for Sunday School, and 10:30AM for Worship. You may tune in to our live service on Facebook or view it later on our website. Women’s Monday morning Bible Study with Sherill Carothers at 10 AM Please know all are welcomed!

Calvary Baptist Church in downtown Salem is inviting you to attend a special Bluegrass Gospel Singing featuring, "The Tugaloo Holler Band" on Saturday, May 11th at 6 PM. You will be blessed so come worship God with us through singing and fellowshipping with believers

COMMUNITY FOOD PANTRY CONTACT: James and Teresa Barker 864-944-0258 No one should go hungry.

OPUS TRUST, a local 501c3 will host a Unique Wine Tasting on April 9th at the Jocassee Valley Brewing company from 5PM-7PM. Tickets are $45 and must be purchased prior to the event. Call 864-873-0048. Supporting Local to Save Local. Call up your friends and learn about OPUS Trust and see how your can be a part of saving our local farmlands, open spaces, natural landscapes and resources and our unique upstate.

Speak up. Do not be Silent! Have a wonderful blessed week! LRM

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cleocatrablossy · 1 year

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So not up to date on all the post EVO ender dragon fight watcher lore but I’m trying to catch up. But as of rn here’s how I’m seeing it:

Watchers we’re originally just supposed to sorta be play on audiences, Y’know like viewers? Same thing. But if they could control aspects of something. Like how sometimes when watching a movie you might want to tell the characters to do something else? To try to intervene? The watchers are like some sorta supernatural viewers who actually can affect things. But as the edited end poem states their strength is limited leading to just clues and riddles, sorta like a faulty connection maybe. Grian becomes a watcher when he leaves EVO, and is then outside of a smp so remains a watcher despite doing occasional videos. Until hermitcraft season 6 that is, where he joins and would no-longer be a watcher. So I sorta think watchers are specifically people in the mcyt universe-y thing(hermitcraft, empires, EVO, and the life series) who left series and are watchers until they join another one if they ever do. Before becoming one of the players in it they’re not watchers, they’re just doing something else. I’d need to check timelines but I’d figure the first two watchers in the end poem aren’t regular watchers since they weren’t ever players. They take the place of the voices in the original end poem, and welcome in new watchers. These two are the ones that mostly effect evo if not the only ones that do, all watchers can affect series but it’s either mostly those two or they were just the ones interested in EVO. And the Listeners feels more like an opposition to the watchers in that the watchers are yelling at the character in the horror movie to run away to the crowded area and the listeners are more focusing on the themes of the movie and how the character making the smarter choice wouldn’t make sense in their panic and how it would ruin the movie. So the watchers and listeners are apposing forces but in the end they’re after the same thing: entertainment. But their ways of getting it are directly contradictory. Neither are evil nor good, they’re more neutral- maybe leaning on poorer in morals. Neither group will force people to stay with them or give chase or anything, but it may seem that way a little bit at least as watchers like to dole out commupence. The whole canary thing and jimmy nearly being saved probably has to do with the listeners trying to keep the story intact. Also former listeners and watchers can retain some of their traits, for example using Grian since he was confirmed a watcher in the end poem: he might keep some wings extra eyes and a bit of an ability to intervene in the life series(like he does with not counting the final hour of the boogey kill on Jimmy) but he can’t watch everything(the eyes are ineffective) and he needs admin abilities to interfere- both unlike watchers.

And also I like the idea that anyone can become a watcher or a listener if they’re in that little bubble of mcyt where this is all taking place, which is mostly dependent on how they react to the players. And the watchers tend to depict themselves as angels as they’re trying to help directly. Plus design-wise i think watchers would have their regular eyes(not at all covered) and several others but they have like… ear muffs or something. Plus wings. Just because they’re cool. Maybe based on harpies, or the original sirens. Former watchers can get little remnants of the aspects of watchers but less effective if they work at all. They always get an uncanny feeling though when there’s watcher interference, or something to be interfered with(so why frown was so intent on studying the rift & an in-canon reason for knowing that the mansion would be reset.) Menawhile listeners might be interesting to base off of bats, moths, wolves, or maybe modern day sirens(all species listed before have great hearing and modern sirens probably would too)?? I think both watchers and listeners being based off of sirens but different kinds would really help push the “same goal different means” thing they have. Both kinds of sirens want to lure sailors to their doom, old sirens would sing to lure them then attack(iirc, been two years since we had to read the odyssey) and modern ones would lure ships to crash on the rocks. Listeners would for sure have blind folds and large ears. Former listeners again get barely functional traits from the listeners if any, but can still hear the same things the listeners do(as seen with Martin’s videos with lore poems). Watchers probably have a bunch of ways to fluff up and stuff and are super emotive, since they’re the ones to yell advice at the screen watching a movie. Listeners are probably very serene and have “spends all day either at a pond reading or in a library” vibes, but they get swivel ears since better for listening which is also the only reliable way to tell what a listener is maybe feeling if they don’t outright state it. For designs of outfits watcher ones very much would get very spiky and colorful maybe flip sequins for some?? Plenty accessories that add flair and make them look like arcade carpets lmao. Listeners could get flowy stuff and robes and formal wear, probably natural color pallets. Maybe plants and stuff, or nature themes in patterns. They’re all unique sure, but also all fit together very well- unlike watchers where putting two together in a room will cause eye-strain so great you may explode.

#life series #hermitcraft #evo smp #I’m sorry I just have to. ethereal & eerie & biblically accurate watchers are cool and all but what if they were like sparkle dogs?#and also self-inserts? and listeners are like the only reasonable person in the group project that thinks bringing an actual sword to school #isn’t a great idea. what then? i personally think it’s really #cool. still gonna bite when it comes to cool mysterious watchers but this is just how I think they are really.

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gamerswift13 · 1 year

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Bing!

Kia ora, friends!

I think I may need to preface this for those not necessarily keeping up with tech news, so a few weeks ago at this point, Microsoft announced it was releasing ‘The New Bing’, powered by a version of ChatGPT, which is an update to their search engine that competes with Google. Now, if you’re not familiar with ChatGPT, that’s a whole other topic that is well outside of the scope of this post (or even this publication!), but this article from The Verge might be able to give you some context. This new version of Bing is pretty cool and I’ve played around with it a bit, and I wanted to share with you all some of the stuff I’ve gotten out of it.

So on a whim a recently, I decided to ask Bing to write me a poem. To be honest I was kind of shocked, because it’s so good, it feels like magic. I had a particular person in mind when I asked for this, and it just fits so well with how I really feel. Of course I can’t claim any kind of credit for this, a robot wrote it, but I felt like I desperately needed to share it with the world because it’s so fucking good.

The prompt was ‘heartbreak, hatred and loss’, and the following is what it gave me:

You broke my heart into pieces You filled my soul with hatred You took away all my reasons To live, to love, to create Now I'm left with nothing but pain Nothing but memories of you Nothing but scars that remain Of the love that was never true I wish I could forget you forever I wish I could erase you from my mind I wish I could find a new lover Who would be gentle and kind But you haunt me like a ghost You linger in my dreams You are the one I loved the most And the one who made me scream So how can I move on from this loss? How can I heal this wound? How can I bear this cross? That weighs me down like a tomb Maybe someday I'll find peace Maybe someday I'll forgive Maybe someday I'll release The hatred that makes me live But until then, I'll write these words To express what's in my heart To let go of these hurts And make a new start.

After reading that, I decided to give Bing the same prompt but with a “happy ending,” and it wrote this:

You broke my heart into pieces You filled my soul with hatred You took away all my reasons To live, to love, to create But then I met someone new Someone who made me smile Someone who saw me through The darkness and the trial He showed me how to love again He healed my broken heart He gave me hope and joy and pain And a brand new start Now I'm grateful for what you did You made me stronger and wiser You helped me find my true love's bid And become a better person So thank you for breaking my heart Thank you for making me hate Thank you for taking apart My life, my love, my fate Because of you, I found the one Who loves me more than you ever did Who makes me happy and makes me fun Who is my partner and my friend.

These honestly gave me goosebumps when I read them. A machine wrote this. I mean I guess technically not just one machine but many, but it’s still bizarre to me that AI technology finally feels like it has arrived. It’s not perfect of course, and you may have heard about some of the bizarre things Bing was saying before Microsoft put some additional chains on it, but it’s still really fucking cool.

As far as I’m aware, Microsoft is currently taking requests for access to this, but if you have a Microsoft account and a device that can run their Edge browser (there is also a dedicated Bing app on the iOS apps store), you can head to bing dot com and reserve your place in the queue. I think this is really cool; it remionds me of the first time I got to interact with Siri on a family member’s iPhone 4s, how magic that was to finally see a voice assistant that worked. I’m really excited about the future of this technology, y’all!

Thanks so much for reading! As always, if you have comments/questions/suggestions, you can hit me up at the links at the bottom of the page. I also have a personal Tumblr page where I mostly just Taylorpost (the term I invented for endlessly reblogging GIFs of Taylor Swift) and reblog stuff that I like? And, there’s that email address there now too!

Thanks again, everyone. I’ll talk to you all again soon. Ka kite anō au i a koe. 💚

#fiction #short story #short stories #queer writers #trans writers #lgbtqia+#non binary writers #writing #creative writing #writers of aotearoa #writers of new zealand #writers of tumblr #bing #artificial intelligence #machine learning #GPT

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hannahleekuhn · 1 year

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It's been a year.

I wrote a post last year that ended with "I hope that the next time I write on here I have news of feeling lifted up and have smiled more than I have frowned. If it’s another 2 years before I do that so be it. I am only human. "

The answer is actually.....yes.

I do feel lifted up and I am aware that I smile more than I frown.

When I was a kid I wrote things down in notebooks all the time. Whether it was journaling or making up song lyrics or doodling, I constantly had notebooks thrown about in my bag and room. The thoughts that were in my head always found a way out and I made room for them to do so. I can't say I was judgement free as a handful of journal entries may have some memories skewed to be rose tinted, but all-in-all I still got a lot of info out.

This year I decided to journal again. I'm not sticking to writing once a day because that's WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE for myself. Zero to 100 only works for some people. Me personally: absolutely not. I am however, proud of the fact that I have written a total of 11 pages and I started on Jan 25th 2023. One month and 11 pages down, with that average I might actually write over 50 pages this year. Which will be the first year in over 10 years that I will accomplish a self goal of that size for writing for myself alone.

I do have scattered pages from 6 different journals through out the years and poems written on my phone notes, that show some insight to my state of mind these past 10 years. And maybe that has to do with my state of mind when I stopped writing regularly. That I didn't like my thoughts so much and so I kept them in.

Now as I'm about to turn 30, I find it very freeing to just write exactly what I think. If I am angry I just say so. If I'm sad, I let myself be present in that feeling. In fact on a journal entry dated on the 3rd of February I spent half a page talking about how I don't like the gel pen I'm using to write because it's super hard to stay neat in my lettering and not slip into half cursive/half printed every other word. Which was exactly what I was frustrated with. Happy in my day, frustrated with a pen for making my page look sloppy.

When I read that page back now I have a huge grin on my face because HOW SILLY. I'm not an insta famous bullet journaling mastermind, nobody but me will see my page and yet for a whole page I was worried about my penmanship. That's the most honest truth I could have written about. Nothing in my life was as frustrating as a gel pen and that is a FREAKING BLESSING.

I am doing so well. I feel guilty for that when I hear friends or family struggling with things because I actually think I have my shit together for the first time in YEARS.

I have an apartment that feels home when I walk in the door, a husband who loves my full self at my best and absolute worst, a job I feel confident about, and a blooming new outlook on life.

Sure there are things I am working on. I'm still in and out of therapy and constantly growing to forgive myself and love myself authentically, AND I do feel like for the first time in awhile I'm meeting myself exactly where I am and just rolling with it.

I'm not trying to force myself to be or say or feel anything. I'm just allowing myself the space to exist.

And that is a beautiful fucking place to be.

*a blog post I wrote in 2017 for work called "Adjust your gratitude" helps remind me of all the good on days I struggle. If you need a gentle reminder, that's a 5 minute activity that can really help. https://www.soul-flower.com/blog/adjust-your-gratitude/

#selflove #turning30

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saphire-scribbles · 2 years

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I need to post something here, so here's a poem I wrote a while ago! It's pretty dark so TW for mild gore, implied sexual assault and burning at the stake.

Lady Andesine

The swell of sound

from the evening partygoers,

And the clink of wine glasses

echoed in the vast hall.

Across the room I saw her,

with a feline smile and eyes

glittering in - what I thought was,

the light of the chandelier.

She beckoned me with her being,

teased me with a flutter of lashes,

yet I did not know of her yearning

to turn my soul to ashes.

She led me through barren corridors,

down stairs and across cobble straits,

I did not see the flash of teeth until it was too late.

Tearing at her corset,

as lust had me most keen,

only to recoil in horror

And suppress a hellish scream.

The woman laid before me,

was not a woman at all.

She was but a hollow vessel,

for Satan's creatures small.

Maggots, leeches, beetles,

gnawed at tendons strand by strand,

the clicking head of death had lain a kiss upon her hand.

Bile and puss and ooze had nursed the maggots at her hips,

the lugworms writhed and curled around

this creature's blistered lips.

Foul pearls of creatures's spawn

nestled in her lungs,

If left, they shall bring terror to this world,

shall have our Good Kings hung.

The woman before us now may be whole in flesh,

but from her heart those carrion beasts

have made a tender nest.

Heed not her pleads, her cries of peace,

for you know me best,

We shall light the torch and lay

these savage creatures here to rest.

A punishment most brutal,

for the woman who dared to dream,

a fate of lies and fire is what became

of Lady Andesine.

#Poem #Dark #im not sorry #I was going through an edgy phase at the time and thought this was cool #Tumblr fucked with the format #How do I fix it #Aaaaaaahhh

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beyondspaceandstars · 3 years

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Hi!

I've been reading some of your posts and I am a big fan🥰

I was wondering if its okay, maybe you could do a Loki x reader where they were best friends and denied each others feelings all the time and when Loki was brought to the TVA, he found reader there and lots of angst and fluff🥰💞😁

Have a great day😁😁💞💞🥰🥰

Nothing Gold

Relationship: Loki x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: thank you so much for enjoying me work I am so glad that makes me so happy! thank you so much for the request. I really liked this idea and I think it came out okay - sorry the ending it a bit abrupt! thank you again :)

Masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Loki had to do a full-on, dramatic as hell, double-take while walking through the TVA library. He had come down to look for a variant file but had apparently ended up finding something else. More specifically — someone else.

You. You. You.

You, his best friend. You, the sweet girl he had a never-ending crush on. You, the one who had just gone missing one day.

Loki could never forget. It was like something wouldn’t let him.

He had invited you around the palace for breakfast before you left his chambers for the night. You two had been up late reading together. You frequently popped over, usually claiming to stay for a few hours, just enough for Loki to read to you some verses of a poetry book, but those hours got longer and longer each time.

Next thing you two knew, it was nearly morning and you needed at least a few hours of sleep in your own bed. He had walked you out, asking you to come back for breakfast in a few hours. You happily agreed, giving him a quick hug before parting. Loki didn’t want to let go. He remembered that detail very well. He wanted to pull you back in his chambers, just hold you for hours. Days. Months. Forever. But he didn’t. He let you go, watching as you made your way back to your modest home. He never realized that would be the last time he saw you.

Well, actually, it technically wasn’t. Because he was staring at you right now. You were at a table near the back of the library, head buried in some files but he could still recognize you. Could always point out that lovely, long hair and those soft, gentle hands. You were always a stark contrast against him.

Loki just watched you for a few moments, completely and utterly confused by the situation. The shock was wearing off and now question after question filled his brain. How did you end up here? What had you done? Were you okay? A million thoughts came over him but his legs had their own agenda. The next thing he knew, he was approaching your table. He almost didn’t know how he got there.

He stood opposite of your sitting form. You weren’t noticing him, apparently very invested in the file you were studying. Loki had to admit, that was quite like you. You were always one to get lost in the words, way deeper than he did.

Eventually, Loki cleared his throat, hoping that’d do something. Slowly, you lifted your head, brows furrowed in confusion as you looked at him from head to toe. You didn’t recognize him, Loki could see it in your eyes. He was just a variant turned agent to you. Something in him felt like it was stabbing his heart over and over again.

"Can I help you with something?" You hesitantly asked but your voice was still so sweet and kind, just as Loki remembered. You were far more patient and soft-spoken than he was.

He said your name like it was the greatest plead but you didn’t react. Loki didn’t know what to do then, realizing you were you but you also…weren’t. His face fell.

You were getting uncomfortable. "I-I’m sorry, I’m not sure I know who that is—,"

"You don’t?" Loki couldn’t help the hurtful gasp he let out.

"Sir, I’m sorry…" Your eyes began searching around frantically. Something was going on. You were getting scared, way past uncomfortable. You wouldn’t look at him anymore.

Loki said your name again, much forceful than the last. You jumped. You weren’t directly responding but Loki could see something in your eyes. He said your name again. Then again. Like it was the only thing he knew. Your eyes met one another intensely, hypnotically.

After maybe the sixth time, you snapped. You jumped out of your seat, breathing heavily, scared, surprised. It had all happened too fast Loki was also taken back. You two were more than just staring at each other. Your wide eyes were taking him in.

"Loki?"

He felt so relieved to hear his name just float off your lips. It was as sweet as he remembered. Like a little lullaby. The stabbing in him stopped.

Loki nodded. "It’s me."

"What…" You looked around as if you had no idea where you were. And maybe you didn’t but Loki hadn’t expected your name to just snap you out of it. This opened a lot of questions for him but he didn’t have time. He raised his hand, cutting off your words.

Loki nodded towards one of the bookshelf aisles further away from everyone. You nodded in understanding, following him down the rows.

Once you were a safe distance away, Loki wasted no time collecting you in his arms, his head buried in your shoulder. You were surprised for a moment at the gesture but then you fell into it naturally, like you had just hugged him yesterday. And really that was how it had felt. But Loki knew better. You had been gone for so long…

"Loki," you mumbled his name, your head pressed into his chest. "What is going on?"

Loki stilled. "Why don’t you tell me what you know."

You scoffed, breaking off the hug. You were a sweet one but Loki was no stranger to your tiny temper. You put distance between you two and Loki allowed it despite how much it hurt.

"What I know?" You repeated, folding your arms. "What I know is that I’m standing in a library with you." You looked around at the space, noting an actual lack of real books. "What kind of library is this anyway? How did I—,"

"Do you remember anything before you got here?"

Your gaze dropped as you studied your shoes. They were some nice black flats but Loki knew that wasn’t your style. You were not the business causal type, usually pleased with the feeling of Asgardian silk gowns.

Something was coming to you as you let out a soft gasp. "I was walking home. We-We had just finished a poem written by that Midgardian… Gosh, what was his name? Winter or something—,"

"Frost," Loki mumbled. "His last name was Frost and you enjoyed his poem about how nothing gold can stay. You found it relatable. I’ll admit, you may have been onto something."

A light had gone on within you. "You thought it was pretentious." Your gaze met Loki’s once more. "I called you a fool and laughed. Then we saw daylight breaking and… and I had to go home. I missed my bed. You wanted breakfast in a few hours. I agreed to come back."

Loki nodded, encouragingly, but your words had fallen off. "What happened next?"

You shook your head, that blank expression washed over you again. "I don’t know."

Loki let out a sigh and leaned back on the shelf. "Do you remember anything after that?"

You looked back down at your outfit. At least the pencil skirt was nice. "Yes," you admitted. "I was hired here. I report on variants to protect the sacred timeline." It sounded to Loki like you were reading a script. What the hell was going on here?

"But you don’t know how you got from Asgard to…here?"

You sighed, a bit annoyed. "How did you get here?"

The snippy temper was back. You were still you. Loki could’ve kissed you, a feeling that had come over him before but was suddenly more intense than ever. He would, he promised himself. He couldn’t leave you again without doing so.

"I had a bit of an…incident."

"Really? You? I never would’ve guessed," you said, the sarcasm on your words dripped heavily. Loki gave quite the dramatic eye roll. You let out a little giggle.

"Yes, well, never mind what got me here, I am here," he said, motioning towards nothing. "And I am assisting with the hunt of a variant."

"You’re helping them?"

Loki scoffed. "Don’t act so surprised." A beat. "I didn’t have much of a choice."

You bit your lip, trying to hold back a smile but failed miserably. Loki had missed this. If he focused really hard, it almost felt like you two were back in Asgard, lounging around, talking about nothing. Teasing one another. His heart was aching.

"What do you know about the variant?" You eventually asked.

Loki glanced away. "It’s me."

"You?"

He shrugged. "Well, a version of me. Another variant."

You slowly crossed the aisle, coming to stand right next to Loki, your shoulders pressed against one another. Loki’s breath hitched just a bit. He would never get used to this.

You asked, "Well, what have ‘you’ done?"

Loki resorted back to his witty humor. "Nothing good as you could assume."

"This mischief of two Lokis is unthinkable."

Loki let out a laugh which you followed suit with. You two were laughing over nothing in this random library in wherever this place was. He could barely understand it and you were absolutely clueless. But the moment of laughter was good, was familiar. Too bad it couldn’t last.

"I’ve missed you," Loki admitted after the laughter had faded out unceremoniously. You looked a bit surprised at the confession.

"Truly?"

He nodded.

You blushed and looked down. "I’d say I missed you too but I don’t feel like we’ve been apart. How long has it been?"

When Loki wasn’t giving an answer, you forced yourself to turn back to him. He was staring at you quite intensely. You shivered under the gaze. It was an expression you hadn’t seen before, he hadn’t allowed you to see. It was one full of love and interest and adornment.

"Too long," was all he said before his lips were on yours. Loki finally took what he had been craving and it was happening in the TVA library. The fucking TVA. Loki’s head was still spinning with worries about this whole thing but, slowly, he got lost in you. In your lips and softness. Your hands grasped his shirt as you deepened the kiss — you. You wanted more from him. And he was happy to give.

His hands caressed your sides lovingly, feeling and holding you in the way he had always dreamed. It was better than anything he could’ve conjured. It felt right and real. Good and… Too good. Too powerful.

An alarm was going off somewhere now. You hadn’t seemed to notice it, still captivated in the kiss, but Loki was aware. He forced you two apart, reluctantly. You looked at him, ready to protest, but before you could ask anything, Loki was placing a hand over your mouth.

Footsteps were approaching. They were coming towards your aisle. Whatever had happened here wasn’t good, something had gone haywire. Had he broken the timeline? Was that even possible here? Loki didn’t know but what he did know was there was an army on the hunt for them. Without thinking twice, he grabbed your hand, looking for an escape route.

"Loki," you finally were able to speak, keeping your voice hushed as you two maneuvered the maze of shelves, "what did we do?"

"We love each other."

"Love?"

Loki stopped despite there being no time to stop. "Am I wrong?"

You didn’t answer. That was all he needed. Now to only get the hell out of here. Loki couldn’t tell if his encounter with the TVA had been a blessing or a cure as he held you close to him, refusing to lose you again to whatever trap this place planned to lay.

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swimmingleo · 3 years

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Harry Styles and Two Loves - A love that dare not speak its name.

‼️Disclaimer I am in no way an English literature expert or student for that matter and can barely organize my thoughts but I’ll try my best. If something doesn’t make sense or is regretful thinking please tell me‼️

Basically Harry is a fervent reader that does not limit himself to Buk*wski and Mur*kami though for some reason he loves to bring up those dudes. Queer literature seems to play a big role when it comes to his inspiration and I love that about his music. A good example is his Shakesqueer Sweet Creature madness. But another one that I hold close to my heart are the parallels he draws with Alfred Douglas’ poem, Two Loves.

Here is the full poem. Give it a read if you can because I won't break it down verse by verse for this post sorry :(

To make it short, the poem is about the narrator (let's say Douglas) wandering in a garden where he meets a young man that turns out to be his lover. For context, Alfred Douglas was very much queer and in a romantic relationship with Oscar Wilde. Both developed their own coded language to express their love and ''sexual tendencies'' through their art (been this way foreverrr will we ever leaarn). However they were not always so sneaky about it and Two Loves in particular was so in your face that it was used against Wilde to prove his homosexuality in trial. He did get away with it this time. Here is his defense. Blueprint of denials. No iPhones at the time.

In Two Loves, two different personifications of love introduce themselves to Douglas and his lover:

The first love is loud and cheerful and sings about pretty women and men that love the said pretty women.

The second love is discreet, almost erased by the other’s presence but is beautiful and draws the attention of the narrator.

Obviously the first love is Heterosexuality, the one that is openly praised by society and the second is Homosexuality who is bullied into silence by Heterosexuality if he tries to speak. The poem ends with Homosexuality saying "I am the love that dare not speak its name." Yeah. And isn’t that the story of H’s career.

HS1 opens with MMITH which ends on "We don’t talk about it, it’s something we don’t do". And from there follows SOTT, "We don’t speak enough". And right after we get the very loud, very explicit and very well documented Carolina. So far the album narration goes "There is something painful going on but we can’t talk about it, I say ‘we’ because there is a you and I and yeeEEAAH THIS GIRL I MET ONCE GETS A WHOLE SONG THE WORLD DESERVES TO KNOW HOW GOOD SHE FEELS FOR A LADDY LAD LIKE ME ALSO HER NAME IS TOWNES YOU CAN CHECK FOR YOURSELF SEE IF SHES REAL I LOVE REAL WOMEN AS IN WOMEN THAT EXIST". Heterosexuality is loud and sings about pretty women right.

But then, THEN we get Two Ghosts. Which is the center piece of this whole post. I mean, the title... Two Ghosts//Two Loves Two hearts in one home ? Sick.

The parallel that hits the most is the physical description that is made of Douglas’ lover and of Homosexuality (which are technically two different characters in the poem).

Douglas’ lover / Homosexuality

Same lips red / Same eyes blue / Same white shirt

Red were his lips / His lips were red / His eyes were clear as crystal / His large eyes were strange with wondrous brightness / White as the snow / His cheeks were wan and white

In Douglas’ poem, it is meant to be understood that the young boy he meets first, his lover, is related to Homosexuality through their physical appearance. Douglas’ love is therefore inherently queer. With Two Ghosts, I’ve always wondered why Harry chose specifically to point out a white shirt as it comes across a bit generic and not really personal yk? But if you compare it to Two Loves, it checks out the recurrent descriptive color scheme: red, blue and white. In both works, red are the lips, blue are the eyes, and white is the ~envelopp. RIGHT. I suppose Harry didn’t feel like describing his lover with pale white skin since it’s brown with lemon over ice when under summer skies so he went with a plain white shirt instead.

I’m not going through a whole analysis of Two Ghosts yet I can safely say that it deals with unspoken words. Not saying things is a recurrent theme in H’s songwriting but within the album, Two Ghosts is the first song that deals with it through the undeniable prism of romantic love. Right before with Carolina, H had no issue being straightforward and wanted to "scream and shout it out", but with Two Ghosts he’s tongue tied and doesn’t say what he really means. Communication issues go on with the following track Sweet Creature, btw may I just:

But oh, Sweet Creature (!), Sweet Creature

Would he […] cry "O sweet creature!", Othello

I cried "Sweet youth…, Two Loves

Queer Literaturry is going wild(e).

Expanding this post with Sweet Creature allows me to speak about the garden metaphor. In lyric poetry, the expression of emotions is often done through nature. It is a process that Harry seems pretty fond of when singing about love (ie Olivia, Adore You, WS, Canyon Moon and Sunflower are good examples) but it’s way more subtle with TG and SC. In Two Ghosts, nature is the moon, and in Sweet Creature it’s the garden.

Would you look at that, Two Loves happens to combine both:

Moon dances over your good side and this was all we used to need, Two Ghosts

Running through the garden oh where nothing bothered us, Sweet Creature

Flowers that were stained with moonlight / Alone in this fair garden, till he came unasked by night, Two Loves

For Harry, the night is where the moon enhances his lover’s beauty, when it’s just the two of them and they need nothing more than each other. The garden is where they run (free?away?), once again alone, unbothered. For Douglas, Homosexuality took form and began to occupy the garden at night, while Heterosexuality who thrives in the golden light (um I- nvm) wasn’t paying attention.

It is also interesting to note that Homosexuality is associated with the night but also with death. And he’s super pale. So like… A ghost ? ANYWAY.

The garden in Two Loves is where love happens, it is a piece of heaven. It’s elevated on a hill and untamed with flowers of various colors growing everywhere. There is sunshine and moonlight, there are "pools that dreamed" and by pools I assume the author means vernal pools which are habitats where flowers grow and oh look over there:

Nice ruffles on that white shirt by the way. Very Victorian.

Two Ghosts, 2017 Mularry so true

So yeah. I don’t want to go into full analysis mode but I find it all interesting. Once again, Two Loves holds a great significance regarding the Oscar Wilde’s lore, and Harry is probably very familiar with anything Wilde related (don’t even start) and by that I think about the Carnation business.

I’ll just conclude with that quote from Maurice by E.M Forster whom I love very much:

"I am an unspeakable of the Oscar Wilde sort."

#song analysis #idk if it has been widely discussed already #ive done a bit of research and i haven't found anything but if you've seen similar posts dont hesitate to pass me the links #anyway first try at this kind of rambling i hope it's ok eek #but really I love this parallel or at least the idea i make of it lol #harry styles #two ghosts #queer inspo #my analysis

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sabugabr · 3 years

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"The Green Knight" is visually stunning, but it kinda missed the point — and that's a good thing (1/5)

So, you probaby heard about The Green Knight (2021). Maybe you haven't watched it yet, but it did make quite a fuss since it's first trailer debuted in May. It looked different. It looked fresh. It looked like the indiest movie ever made since The Fall (2006). It had Dev Patel in the major role. We fell in love instantly.

Look at this poster. Even the poster looks indie and cool and conceptual. PLEASE NOTICE that there's nothing actually green in the poster, did you notice that???? Poetic cinema

And it made me inchy to dissect it, SO I DID

(Also, I'll be dividing this one into 5 smaller parts, first because it might get easier rsrs and second because tumblr doen't allow more than 10 images per post, and I really wanted to use a lot of gifs and images because this movie is absolutely gorgeous)

If you have no idea what's about, the movie is based on a famous late 14th-century Middle English chivalric poem (whose author is unknown) titled (centuries later) Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. It tells a story of one of the knights of King Arthur's Round Table, Sir Gawain:

That nice-looking fellow in red chopping that head off. Curious fact, Sir Gawain was the most popular character in Arthurian legends at the time (even more than Lancelot, Lancelot only got to taste voluptuous fame later).

The story begins as one day, on Christmas Eve, a green knight came riding on a green horse into King Arthur's dining hall. The Green Knight asks who among them would indulge him in a Christmas game. He then chalenges any knight to strike him with his axe, and then meet him one year and a day later in the Green Chapel, where the Green Knight would give him the same blow in return. As Joseph Campbell tells it more graciously than I,

"The only knight in the hall who had the courage to accept this incongruous invitation was Gawain. He arose from the table, the Green Knight got off his horse, handed Gawain the axe, stuck out his neck, and Gawain with a single stroke chopped off his head. The Green Knight stood up, picked up his head, took back the axe, climbed onto his horse, and as he rode away called back to the astonished Gawain, "I'll see you in a year." (source)

And then, a year later, Gawain has to go and face his death. That's the basic synopsis, and that's the movie's plot as well.

The movie overall received good reviews, and people still talk about how cult it is. And if you watch it having read the original text (or at least knowing the story well), you can notice that they have adapted many details of the poem very faithfully. However, they made a few changes, and one of them was exactly it's ending, and consequently, it's moral. And it's beautiful.

So there's no need to say that there'll be A LOT of spoilers for this movie (and for the arturian legend as well, I guess), so if you want the full experience to be surprised and VERY confused by it, go watch it, my dove. So without further ado...

THE MOVIE

So, I loved this movie, and I swear, it was the most pretentious thing. Really, you can see it clearly that this movie thinks very highly of itself

LOOK AT THIS OPENING CREDITS AND TELL ME THIS ISN'T PRETENTIOUS AS HELL actually it may remind you of another pretentious opening credits

Basically twins (this is a joke please don't attack me)

But seriously, there are A LOT of scenes in this movie that feel like they're only there because they look beautiful and conceptual.

And honestly, I didn't mind it at all.

It was one of the things I loved most, actually, how blatantly beautiful it was, how plainly colorful. Because in this story, color matters. The whole movie can be seen to be about colors. In the extent that it can actually help understand what is going on in scene, and be a way of interpreting the story in general.

But before I get into that color stuff... (part 2 >)

#filmedit #cinematography #filmgifs #movie essay #movieedit #the green knight #dev patel #tgk spoilers #tgk #green knight #SPOILERS #LIKE A LOT OF THEM #king arthur #14th century #color theory

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