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rcksmith · 3 years

Text

Lust — Kaz Brekker

Gif by @kitsyoung

Request: “Hey. I really like your writing and I was wondering if you would consider writing a Kaz piece with the smut prompts 76, 1 & 33. Obviously with your au rules. If it’s too much I completely understand tho”

“7, 17, 36, and 73 from the smut list for Kaz Brekker please? If not, no worries! 💖 Thank you!”

“Holy shit that last kaz brekker smut- AMAZING. Was wondering if you could write another smut with smut prompt #6? Of course if this bothers you just ignore it. Thank you so much 🥰”

Smut prompts:

1. “You look so good with my hand wrapped around your throat.”

6. “Do you think of me when you touch yourself?”

7. “The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.”

17. “after that little stunt? you’re not getting off that easy”

33. “Maybe I should get you a collar so you don’t forget who you belong to.”

36. "If I have to pull over, you won’t be able to walk for the next week.“

73. “You know, you look real pretty when you cry.”

76. “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll take very good care of you.”

Couple: Kaz Brekker/ Fem!Reader

Warnings: swearing, explicit smut, dirty thoughts, dirty talk, nsfw, jealous, mention of fight.

Word count: 5k

A/N: All smut requests for Kaz must follow these rules.

Thank you so much for the requests and for all affection 💖 I decided to compile these requests, since they were the same central plot. I added all the elements that were asked for individually, and made sure that all ideas were respected and written down. I hope you like it and good reading.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

— — — — —

There is a theory that always, somewhere, there will be a person capable of making you lose your breath, and your reasoning, whenever he appears on the scene. Someone who robs you of your breath, your heartbeat, your ability to think clearly and your control to keep your hands not shaking.

And Kaz Brekker would always be that person for you.

From the first time you laid eyes on him, it's been a feeling of dying and going to heaven. Except that Heaven was, in reality, a hot, burning hell. Where your greatest punishment was being forced to watch his tall figure, who exuded masculinity by every inch, walking in front of you like a Renaissance painting very superb.

Nothing that Van Gogh, Da Vinci, and Picasso created has bordered on the personification of beauty that he was.

Kaz was beautiful in a very mysterious, dangerous and chilling way. You would describe his aura as the height of midnight in an enigmatic city, his hair the color of the core of sin and his features as lines that the god Ares would have drawn. Everything about him reeked of the fog of suspense stories, with a touch of lust.

All the looks he directed at you were caustic, flickering and intense as a candle flame, reverberating through your veins like angry eels and always make the room feeling charged with electricity, like the ground after the fall of a lightning. Everything between the two of you seemed to be filled with something fiery and arcane. From the gazes, the rubbing of shoulders, the times when the skins touched. Everything was a compilation of sensations that make you catch your breath whenever Kaz Brekker appeared.

He was your kryptonite. In all senses.

And that was exasperating in the extreme, at staggering levels. You felt your center of your sex vibrate whenever he directed you that voice whit baritone intonation and predatory looks, whenever the button-down shirts were tight enough for you to revel in the contours of his body, or sometimes when he wore the cane to signal or stopper something. This was the worst of them. His cane.

Have you lost count of how many times Kaz stopped you as counting money, by putting the tip of the cane over your hands, or stopped you from going somewhere by blocking your path with the cane, lifting the object horizontally in front of your belly. And every time you felt your legs tremble, your breath fade and a very dirty part of your brain whisper that you wanted him to use that object in you in more fun ways.

Your body was so responsive that there were times when you knew, with every fiber of your soul, that Kaz was able to read the paths in which your thoughts wandered. He lowered his gaze to you, in that breathless connection that promised to contain the most nefarious paths of sin, and maliciously curved the left corner of his lips in an arrogant, oblique expression. At such times, you could feel in your soul the words he did not say:

I know the perverted things that you are thinking.

And the truth was, he really knew. Kaz memorized every change in your breathing, every blush on your cheeks, every trembling of your hands, every your trembling look whit a frightened girl who had been caught thinking of something impure. He knew how your body was responsive, needy. And he himself had to control himself not to push you over the desk in his office and fuck you like an aggressive animal, bringing all your perverted thoughts to life.

It wasn't his physical reactions that kept him from taking action, but an even more visseral reaction than the pulsing desire he felt for you. Mine. The primal, determined, burning sensation of possession. That it ran through his veins like hot, bubbling lava. The desire was familiar, but this statement, not. Like the jealousy he felt for you, he quickly recognized the danger he was in.

If Kaz touched you…he knew he would never be able to let you go.

Mine. A statement that resonated spontaneously whenever he saw you, a testament to the reactions the two of you triggered in each other. However, not even the awareness of the dangerous game that was between you was able to dispel the climate of provocative sensuality that pulsed in the places whenever the two of you were together.

It was like playing with a powerful drug. One slip and he would be addicted forever.

On days like this, when Kaz had just come out of an exasperating meeting with Peka, a businessman and mobster who was always looking for ways to try and bring Kaz down, his already bad temper turned to terrible. He felt compelled to break something, drink a whole bottle of the best English whiskey in that club, and punch someone. Kaz felt the anger pulse through his veins, in a pure and perfect way.

He left the office, turning off his cell phone so he wouldn't be disturbed and descending the stairs to the center of his Crow Club, mind buzzing and anger seeping in his blood. He needed to unwind, maybe get into the car and head home. Maybe actually drink that whiskey bottle. Maybe both.

Kaz was about to take another step down, running a gloved hand through his hair to get it out of his eyes, when his gaze met your figure. And that was when the already terrible temper rose to the very badly.

Normally, a vision like that would have just bothered him, a compulsion to do something. But that day, Kaz was at the height of his angriest feelings. And seeing you, bold as a goddess in that little black dress, next to Jesper at the gambling table and flirting with a guy to your left, did things with every last bit of patience and self-control he had.

His eyes never left you as he took another step, running his hand through his hair again to contain the unruly strands. You were laughing, downing another drink and placing a card on the table. You turn back to the man to your left, your eyelashes fluttered gracefully in a promise to allow him to guide your rein tonight.

But there would be no goddamn rein for that fucking guy to guide.

Kaz gripped his cane tightly, descending the other short stairs and advancing toward your with dangerous, determined, and angry steps.

"...in this part of the year, criminal law cases drop a lot." The damn guy was telling you, his boring blond hair falling over his blue eyes in a way Kaz found annoying.

To fucking hell with that blond-haired Dande.

“Y/n, Jesper!” Kaz tapped the end of his cane on the table, stopping the cards under the polished wooden end.

Everyone at the table looked at him startled, their actions frozen. He saw you swallow hard, a soft tremor sigh in your shoulders.

Good!

“Shouldn't you be at the door?” Kaz turned to Jesper, his eyes sparks with annoyance.

“Right now, Boss.” He stood up, giving you a strained smile and heading towards the door.

“Kaz…” You started, voice softly intoxicated.

You knew you weren't supposed to be at the gambling table, let alone so late at night and drunk, even if Jesper was by your side. You had the ability to win every play, in any game, and that ended up not only driving the others away, but leaving the men, already drunk and irrational, aggressive and with an extremely bruised ego. And they almost always wanted to retaliate physically. As much as there were security guards and cameras everywhere to keep something bad from happening, Kaz couldn't stand the thought of someone hurting you. Not even blinking insultingly in your direction.

He sent you an icy, sharp, steady look. A clear warning for you to stop there any excuse you were about to give. To be careful with the next words you would say. You swallowed hard, looking away and getting up from the table. Slightly wobbly from the drink, you fished your coat from the chair next to you, giving a strained, apologetic smile to the guy you'd been flirting with so far.

“I better go home and call an uber and…” You started, but Kaz cut your sentence.

“I'll driver you.”

His tone exuded annoyance and impatience, giving no opening to any objections, demonstrating that he was in no mood for games. Much less defiance of his orders. You knew him too well to recognize that that night had pulled his nerves beyond what he could handle, the strain and irritation in his eyes told you something had happened beyond what you knew. His jaw, straight and strong as glass, was clenched tightly, his night-colored hair was disheveled in an overwhelmingly attractive way, and his black robes sinfully marred every line of his body.

You should have become wary of the dangerous energy that he exuded through every pore at that moment. However, to your inebriated and excited brain, Kaz Brekker has never looked so fucking hot! Your underbelly vibrated in response to the personification of sin that Kaz was, your heart racing at alarming levels as you followed him out, walking over to his car.

Like every piece of Brekker's clothing, his car was sleek black, with big black wheels, tinted glass and dark leather seats. Hades' chariot. You felt your breath catch when Kaz opened the passenger door for you, his eyes avoiding yours, his jaw still clenched and dangerous energy exhaling through every fiber of his tall, lean body.

Holy Mother of God, this man was a perdition!

Kaz contained an instinctive desire to go back inside and tell that aspiring Dande that you weren't available. Instead, he closed the door when you got in and turned around in the car, closing his own and squeezing the steering wheel harder than he would have liked.

Midnight height light streamed in through the darkened car windows and gently illuminated the curve of your cheek, highlighting your skin that Kaz might have named the color of the gods. So much attention was too seductive. Emotions and reactions still bubbled through each his vein like scandant water, mingling with months of frustrated desires and burning sexual tension.

At that moment, jealousy laced him. Mine. Amazing and at the same time propelled by dangerous strength, Kaz tried to trap that feeling back into the dungeon of his soul. He controlled his fury, yet he couldn't completely tame. Annoyance turned to anger. Starting driving the car forward, Kaz tried to think of anything but how you looked like the Goddess Aphrodite on that dark bench. Splendid as a heat ray in a winter day.

“Kaz…” You started, that gentle, repentant tone that stirred every spark in his soul.

He hated how his name on your lips sounded so sensual, so right and so delicious. He would give everything he had to hear you moan his name.

“Don't start” he warned, now not because of latent annoyance, but because he didn't know if he could stop himself if he heard your voice.

However, you didn't make things any easier for him.

"You don't have to be so angry." You go "I wasn't even using all my intellect on the game, I wasn't trying to win."

Kaz didn't even know if that was the core of the problem anymore. Was he angry that you went to a table where it was dangerous? Yes. But the waters were much deeper than that, much more dangerous. The way your smile, sweet and sensual, was directed at that guy, reeled in Kaz's mind, impregnated with the plague. He felt the blood burn in his veins just remembering how melted you looked for that man. And as much as he couldn't blame you, because you were free and single, the primal, irrational part of him screamed so much louder now.

Mine.

“This does not matter anymore.” It was the only thing he managed to say, the very sensations drowning him.

“And it wasn't even that dangerous.” But unlike him, you were obliterating the burning emotions that Kaz exuded. “There were only a few players drunker than a door, and Jesper was on my side, and also James, who was very charming and...”

Kaz almost lost direction, making the car bounce smoothly. He staked his eyes at you, puzzled and bubbling.

“James?”

“Yeah, the blond guy who…”

"I don't want to know, Y/n." He cut you off "I don't want to hear about the guys you allow to drool around you like mangy dogs."

The distilled rage was impossible to contain, and before Kaz knew it, the words were out. He turned forward again, his hands tighter on the steering wheel.

“Wait…” Your tone was slightly smug, and the way you rubbed one thigh against the other was impossible for Kaz to miss.

The grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“You are jealous?” Your intonation dropped to a low, sensual, provocative level.

Suddenly, Kaz's entire body became very aware of your body inches away. He could feel the heat that you radiated and the lyrical, sweet and sinful scent of your perfume flooded all his senses. The air grew thin, puffy and stuffy, and if it had been December cold outside, Kaz would still feel the height of summer in that car. Flashes of excitement and danger rippled through the car, and the brief silence grew even more charged with sexual tension and lustful anticipation that stirred every fiber of Kaz's being.

He made the mistake of looking at you again, and your softly mischievous smile that promised a lifetime of satisfied desires only served to incite his madness. Kaz had never understood how a man could want a woman so badly that he acted irrationally and carelessly. But now he understood. And when he realized you tried to stifle a sensual sigh from the way he was looking at you, his body won the fight against his mind and Kaz stopped abruptly the car at the red traffic light.

The sexual tension between you had become unbearable. In one moment, Kaz was fighting the series of overwhelming and disturbing emotions that dominated his entire being, and in the next moment, he had taken your mouth with his in a fiery, fierce, animal kiss. Stealing all the air from both of you, his thoughts, and his sanity.

He held your face firmly in his hands, his fingers going down to the strands of hair at the nape of your neck, turning everything into something more caustic and desperate. Yours hands went to his arms, moving up to his shoulders and cupping the sides of his neck, pulling him closer. Kaz's tongue inched into your mouth without waiting for permission, conquering and claiming every fiber of your body, of your soul, in a continued of kisses you couldn't tell where one ended and another began.

The moan of satisfaction you let out gave him a lust and desire unlike anything Brekker had ever felt. Like hot, addictive honey down in his throat. He was still gripped by jealousy, annoyance and possessiveness. With the desire for you pulsing in his body just like his heartbeat.

Kaz pulled back millimetrically, his blue eyes overshadowed by the heat of the moment, his lips red and swollen from the sinful kisses he gave you. At that moment, Kaz Brekker looked like an angry young God, and you've never felt more attracted to someone in your life than you are now.

You looked at him, panting and needy, wishing with all your might that he repeat the same actions. And you knew he realized that. Perfectly. You saw the spark of male satisfaction ignite in his eyes as he absorbed your desire. He was so close... so very close, and you couldn't stand the enormous anxiety for a caress, a kiss, anything.

His cocky smile intensified as you put more pressure in your touch his skin, your fingers trailing down his neck and back to his shoulders, silently pleading for him to do something with you. Anything he wanted.

Kaz lowered his one gloved hand to your jaw, thumb and forefinger squeezing your chin and making you look at him directly, you staring into the deep, shrewd blue of his eyes. He pulled you closer by the grip on your chin, the husky, erotic words hitting your lips like a promise of sin as he said:

“Maybe I should get you a collar so you don't forget who you belong to.”

It was impossible to control the loud, needy sigh that escaped, your center throbbing in despair and wetting the thin cloth of your panties. You wanted he to touch you more, pull your body against his until there was not a single sigh left, claim your soul and your body as his. You had parted your lips to say something, most likely a plea for him to continue, but the traffic light turned green and Kaz took his hands off you, straightening up on the bench and putting the car move.

In the absence of his warmth, his body, you felt cold, empty and frozen. As if Kaz were your sun and you were Icarus. Feeling the compulsion to need to get closer, complete its magnitude and bask in his rays. Every cell in your body begged for him, in needy and submissive requests, telling you to accept anything he told you, that he gave you, as long as it touched you.

“If I knew that to make you kiss me I would have to flirt with someone else, I would have done it a long time ago.” You teased, a satisfied, malicious smile on your lips.

Kaz looked at you in annoyance. In a clear warning that you should never more do that again.

"If you wanted me to kiss you like the brat you are, you just needed to have asked." He countered your game to the full.

"But if I want more than that?" But just as he knew how to play, so did you.

You swiped the tip of your tongue across your lips, kicking off your shoes and pulling your legs over the dashboard of the car, exposing your nearly bare thighs through the thin black fabric of your dress. Your actions instantly caught Kaz's eyes, and his grip on the steering wheel grew stronger and his breathing heavier.

The air inside the car became more ardent, burn, charged with eroticism and lust that left both of you breathless. An electrifying energy coursed through their bodies, as if they had been struck by a bolt of fire. You wanted him in a way you never thought you could want anyone.

Kaz took a deep breath, and looked at you with dangerous predator eyes as he said:

"If I have to pull over, you won't be able to walk for the next week."

The words made your body tremble. But if Kaz was trying to dissuade you, that was the last thing he should have told you. Instead of taming the fire inside you, it threw gasoline into the aggressive fire. You pressed your thighs together, your body sensitive to his words filled with burning promise.

In five minutes of insane courage, you took your feet off the dashboard, leaned toward Kaz, and brushed his neck with your lips. In slow, burning, hot kisses, you traced a path to the pulse in his neck, opening your lips slightly to brush your tongue over that pulse point.

“Please.” You beg.

Kaz's moan was low, but loud enough in your mind. You were being his undoing and you knew it. Suddenly, the car veered to the right and came to an abrupt stop. You would have lost your balance if Kaz's hands hadn't clung to your waist, pulling you in one movement to his left thigh, pressing your soaked core into the black fabric of his pants.

You gasped loudly, or he, or both. And in the next moment, his mouth was on yours again. The kiss was more aggressive, possessive, angry and ardent. Kaz kissed you as if he wanted to decree you his, proclaim his possession. You didn't see when he removed his gloves, but the touch of his skin with on your thighs was all you could think of.

“Kaz…” You moaned into his mouth, and the grip on your thighs moved up to your hip, digging his fingers into your thin dress-covered skin with such force it was sure to leave marks tomorrow. "Please."

You knew what you were begging for, but the moment Kaz forced your waist to move against his thigh, rubbing your pulsing core against his thigh, you forgot even your own name. And Kaz knew it. Then, like dominant man who wanted to see you surrendered to him that he was, his mouth went to your ear as he whispered:

"Do you want me to fuck you?" Kaz wiggled his thigh against you, making your clit roll against the soggy fabric of your panties.

You moaned loudly, your hands tightening on his shirt, your face hiding in his chest as an overwhelming, aching pleasure invaded your system. It felt good, but unbearable for being so little, churning something in your belly that made you despair for more.

"Y-yes." You whimpered, rolling your hips on his thigh.

Kaz's bare hand crept up the slit between your thighs, your dress already balled up at the top of your waist, and dipped his fingers into the juncture of your pussy and his thigh, pulling your panties to the side and making you feel the fabric of his dark pants against your wet, hot flesh. You moaned louder, your grip on his shirt tighter and your hips rocked harder for have any friction.

“Do you want me to fuck you like the little slut you are? Is that what you've wanted all this time?” His words, husky and strong, in that intense, dominant intonation, sent all your self-control to hell.

"Yes." You sobbed. “I-I need you."

But his hand in your panties went up to your chin, and he forced you to look him in the eye once more. The electric intensity of that look turned you on even more, making you gasp as his thigh still rocked against your throbbing clit.

“After that little stunt? you’re not getting off that easy” It was very hard to think with all the stimuli he was giving you, but the thunderous blue eyes warned you to pay attention to his words “Do you think you deserve me to fuck you?”

His gaze invaded you so deep and so warm and intense that you wondered if he was trying to leave a burning imprint on your soul. All over your body, overwhelming desires resonated, and you gave in to the compulsion to roll his thigh further, whimpering from the pressure on your clit.

"I'm s-so sorry." You whimpered, eyes pleading with he "It won't happen again."

"Won't happen what?" He tightened his grip on your chin, not painfully, but firmly to get your attention.

"It won't happen again, Sir."

The reward for your obedience came in an aggressive, hungry kiss, his hand in your chin dropping for your hip and wiggle his thigh at your needy pussy.

"Do you want to cum?" He teased you.

"Yes, S-sir."

"The only way you're getting off is on my thigh."

Then, as if to reiterate his statement, his mouth clutte to yours once more, his thigh swayed with more vigor and his bare hands moved up to the neckline of your dress.

His warm palms and long fingers lowered the straps of your dress and released your braless breasts, your nipples hard with pleasure and your breasts swollen with arousal.

Your moan was muffled by Kaz's, and he just released your mouth to lower his lips to your left breast, capturing the innocent nipple with his mouth and rolling his tongue across your flesh. You moaned louder, your waist twisting desperately against his thigh as your hands tangled in the strands of his black hair.

Kaz delighted in every inch of you, his hands going back to your waist as his mouth attacked your other breast, leaving a trail of hot saliva on his tight, needy nipples. Brekker was consumed by a fierce hunger and need, so overpowering that he pressed his fingers to your skin as if you were his last meal. He'd wanted for so long to do all that, to dive into your body like a starving man, savoring every inch of your warm skin.

Letting out a loud, delighted moan, Kaz increased his thigh movements as he suckled on your nipple, feeling flung to hell heaven as you squealed softly and collapsed onto his thigh, smearing his black fabric with your hot cum. But Kaz couldn't care less about the fucking pants. His cock hard and rigid as a sword hilt throbbed desperately, commanding him to sink into the heat of your slippery walls.

"This is much better than I dreamin." You whimpered softly, your face still buried in his neck, your waist wiggling slyly in his thigh.

"Do you think of me when you touch yourself?" He teased you, taking his hands to your panties away from the center of your pussy and pulling them between your legs, tucking them in his pants pocket.

You nodded, your mouth dipping into his neck in broken kisses as your hands went to his pants belt, trying to get rid of any barrier between the two of you as quickly as possible.

"Please, please." You begged, flustered as Kaz stopped your hip movements with his hands "I need to feel you inside me."

Your plea was sated with an arrogant kiss as Kaz reached for his pants, pulling the fabric of the boxer together and letting pop out his dick throbbing, pulsing and his swollen head, brushing in your pussy with lazy strides.

"S-sir!" You cried, trying to earn more.

"Shh, don’t worry, I’ll take very good care of you."

The strong, long arm wrapped around your waist, pressing your chest against his chest as Kaz guided his dick to the entrance to your pussy, with one hand. He play whit you, pressing his head into your entrance just enough to make you feel the pressure, recoiling when you swayed frantically for more. The painful pleasure sent tears to your eyes, and you sobbed loudly as you were just toy in his hands.

A few hot tears ran down your face as you whimpered, helpless in his arms to get what you wanted.

"You know, you look real pretty when you cry." Kaz pressed his mouth to yours.

In that second, he completely sank his dick into you, swallowing your loud scream as the thickness of it widened you and hit the bottom of the well. The grip of his arm around you tightened, and Kaz lifted you and brought you let down badly, drown his dick even more deeply inside your hot, wet, desperate walls.

"S-sir!" You moaned loudly, his mouth leaving yours, but not pulling away enough and letting you feel his hard breath hit your lips.

You followed his thrusts, bouncing your waist up and down hard and letting his dick beat frantically inside you, robbing you of your breath and your ability to think. Your moans mingled with his, the pornographic sounds of their bodies crashing together were loud and you thanked God the car windows were black and the street was deserted.

"So fucking good slut!" Kaz growled against your lips, one hand leaving your body to snake down to your throat, maintaining a firm, dominant grip.

You moaned his name and his title between loud moans and broken sobs. Yours hands closed around the shirt off his shoulders and the waist shimmied between the thrusts, making sure his dick was completely inside you.

“You look so good with my hand wrapped around your throat!” Kaz tightened his grip on yoir neck, watching you tilt your head back and expose your entire body to the delight of his eyes.

He growled louder, spurred on by that sinful sight, and increased the rhythm that pounded inside you, filling every inch of you and sinking down as anatomically as possible. Kaz felt possessed by a wild beast, insatiable and euphoric, and each thrust he gave you was more force he inflicted on you, marking you as his.

Kaz pulled your neck to him, pressing your mouth to his as he growled against your lips: “Mine.”

You nodded frantically, the apex bursting in a burst of pleasure as his dick came out and sank in hard, desperate, urgent strokes.

“Yours”

You promised, kissing him urgently and swallowing a low cry as his dick shuddered inside you, flooding you with the hot liquid until your walls overflowed, giving you a feeling of being incredibly full. You whimpered into his mouth, exchanging a sloppy kiss as Kaz gave you a few more thrusts, making sure his cum would fill your every inch, not letting you dare waste a drop.

“Mine” he repeated through the kiss.

so, the weather??? HAHAHA, anyway friends, i hope you enjoyed. Don’t forget consult the rules if you want to request for some Kaz smut. Love u. O

#kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz x kruge #kaz brekker au #kaz brekker smut #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker could break my legs with his cane and i would say thank you #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker #shadow and bone smut #inejgayfa #jesper fahey #kaz x jesper

2K notes · View notes

jxngh · 3 years

Note

Hey! It's me again with another request. 😅

What about a Hoseok that everyone underestimate and think that just because he's so adorable, a true gentleman and even cheesy that they don't think he can be good at bed.

So, some girls make a bet (idk let's pretend their work colleagues or they're in college, what suits you better) what they don't know is, that Hoseok somehow, actually finds out about this bet, but he's not bother at all, on the contrary, he's beyond thrilled since he's been wanted to fuck hard OC, so this is his chance to prove her how wrong she actually is.

The player will be end up being played.

A good boy with a little a very dirty secret behind doors. What do you think? 👀

hii!! this has been on my drafts for weeks and just finished it! hope you'll enjoy ✨ thank you so much for 600+ followers btw 🥺

if you enjoy my content please consider buying me a coffee 🥺🤍

your sweet boss is made a party for the ones who freshly started work with you. you didn't expect anything less from a gentleman as him. he was always disciplined but never not supportive and adorable. sometimes even cheesy.

you and your work colleagues were in the party. and after some food and drinks - and not seeing him around - they basically started gossipping. you were trying to be friends with the new colleagues but you all were in the same conversation so you kinda had to be in it.

"soo... what do you guys think about your new boss?" asked one of your close colleagues. she loved gossipping and stuff like that, was so fun all the time.

"he's super sweet...i don't know if it's because we're new to be honest." said the new girl. and the new boy added "i feel like he's a gentleman but...we don't know how is he in bed right?" he made a funny voice. you all laughed.

"bet he's not good at bed, seems too soft." your fun friend said while she's taking another bite from the food. and she turned to you before asking. "what do you think, __?"

"i don't know..." you looked at her, then the others. "he seems vanilla but i can't really say if he's bad."

they talked about it a little then the conversation changed.

you were still thinking about it tho. the thing you didn't know was that he heard your talk while he's getting another drink from a table closer to you guys.

after a week from the party, to check your work, he came to your room. at least that was what you thought. you thought that you did something wrong and he was here to show you how to fix it. as he did multiple times before.

but no, here he was showing you the plans of the new design of the office from the computer, too close to your face while he's behind the chair you're sitting at. you couldn't focus on the screen because of him.

and you couldn't decide if it's smell that is making your mind dizzy or the tone of his voice. there was definitely something different today.

"are you even listening __?" he asked and that was when you really started listening. your attention was on his side profile which is looking like he's a painting.

"oh uhm yes. sorry, i got distracted." you confessed.

that put a grin to his face. he came closer to you, leaving a deep breath. you felt small tingles on your neck.

"you're one of my best workers and you always listen carefully what i say, __. is something wrong?" he asked you, eyes traveling to your lips for a millisecond. the gap between you two was so small, you could feel his capturing smell making your mind dumb.

"n-nothing." you stuttered, trying too hard to look at him in the eyes. your mind was screaming at you that you should get back but you just stayed still.

he took a deep breath and tilted his head.

"is this vanilla?"

wha- what was he talking about? why did he just highlight the word? did he hear you talking? shit. you were going to be fired if he did. plus you didn't want him to hear those words, you just said it. ugh.

your eyes widened but you tried to act like he's talking about something else.

"what is?" you looked up at him, his breathtaking features. the grey suit was covering his body so well. damn, you thought.

he looked at you and talked before slightly smirking.

"the colour, __. what else could it be?"

you looked down and gulped before looking at him again.

"i d-don't know sir." you felt your cheeks getting hotter, shit. what was happening to you? you weren't exactly a shy type of woman but the sudden hint made you flustered.

he held the armrests of your chair and turned you to face him, then he gently nipped your chin and made you look up.

"why are you getting red? tell me what's on your mind, baby." he said staying still and leaving only few centimeters between your faces.

him calling you that sent a flutter to your heart. what happened to the sweetest boss you had? and more importantly, why did you want him so bad with just a word?

"thought you were thinking that i'm vanilla, but here you are getting even more red with a 'baby'..."

fuck. he knew. he knew what you've said. you wanted to speak and tell him that he misunderstood or something, at least try to fix this someway. but you couldn't, not when you were that close. you opened your mouth but no words came out. and your brain focused on his breath brushing your lips, he was looking amazing.

"i can prove you wrong baby. bet you'll only think and talk about me." he said before brushing his lips to yours for a second. you closed your eyes. then he watched your face with lust filled gaze of his.

your hand found his neck and pulled him close to a kiss. it was intense, wasn't so slow but not fast either. you felt his hands coming down and holding your waist, then down and grabbing your ass while he sucked your bottom lip. after that he lifted you and made you sat on your table.

he started to give your ass hard squeezes while groaning into your mouth.

"mmmh " he said before spreading your legs and rolling his hips against yours.

he was so hard and you were sure your panties were wet after that kiss. and now he was sucking marks to your neck to collarbone. you loved the feeling of getting marked by him. the way he touched you were mind-numbing.

"mmph, please." you moaned, not able to opening your eyes from the feeling.

he smirked and held your waist tightly. then rolled his hips to yours, it was harder this time.

"name it baby. please what?" he asked leaving a peck to the sweet spot under your ear. it sent tingles to your body, you held his head and pulled him closer. now you were face to face, his eyes were half lidded and full with lust, looking deeply into your ones.

"please sir, prove me wrong." you said breathily.

he smiled for a second, then kissed your lips hungrily. then with a low moan he sent his tongue to meet yours. and yeah,he was so good at it. it was like his tongue is dancing on yours. you couldn't help but whimper.

you felt his hands getting under your dress, playing with the thin waistband while he leaves low grunts to your mouth. the vibration was making you feel some type of way. your whimpers were telling the same thing.

your hands found his belt and unbuckled it without breaking the intense kiss you've having with him. he slid your panties aside and started to rub his hand to your wetness.

"fuck." he breathed havily. "all of this is for me? fuck baby, you make me wanna ruin you."

you smiled and palmed his erection, getting low curses from him. you could feel him twitching.

"i'm ready sir." you said, looking at his hungry expression. your hands were resting on the waistband of his underwear. you slowly pulled it down.

he was long and pretty. and definitely ready to fuck. the gray suit he wore was looking so rich, and the fact that he still had it on was a turn on to you.

he didn't waste anymore time and pushed himself to you in one thrust. your moans and his grunts mixed. he was holding your waist and sucking your neck.

"ah sir, move. please."after checking your face he continued his movement slowly. you could feel every inch of him, he was so deep and filling you so well.

he started to move faster, making you jolt with every push of his hips. you needed to get support from your hands, holding the table tightly.

"such a pretty baby, spreading herself for me on her table, crying under me." he said pulling himself back almost fully. "still thinking i'm vanilla?" he said and pushed himself harder, finding the spot easily. and now he was fucking you rough.

"n-no sir, ohh yes." you replied and felt your high coming, by the way his dick twitches inside of you after every moan of yours you could tell he's close too.

he kept his pace, made you lose control of your moans while he leaves low grunts to your neck, whispers dirty stuff to your ear.

"come as i say pretty." he said and gave deep thrusts, getting faster and going slower and deeper again. your pussy started to clench like crazy. if you weren't being held by him you'd probably fall because how hard he fucks.

"come." he said and you both came, you were a moaning mess.

he pulled himself out and fixed your dress after fixing his suit, getting ready to leave.

"guess i proved it all wrong, huh?" he said, watching your not so out of bliss face. it was a strong high.

"i can't believe i thought that sir." you said looking at his lips involuntarily. you were still between your desk and him. he moved closer and kissed you slowly. then his hands found the marks he left on your skin.

"everybody will know who left these marks on you baby. you can cover it up... or you can keep it and i can take you a proper date tonight. cause this wasn't just sex for me. what'd you say?"

his words made your heart flutter. you couldn't help but smile.

"of course."

taglist : @nglmrk - @allora1233 - @sizzlebangtan4 - @youmyjhope - @raiiisstuff - @alexmin606 - @bookfrog242

.·´ tell me your thoughts about it in here please / can be general talk too i missed y'all 🥺 + ask to be in my taglist!

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washymylifeaway · 3 years

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SunaOsa fanfic recs: valentines edition~~

SunaOsa is one of my all time favorite ships and this past month, there has been/was an exchange going on between writers (here is the link) and artists (separately) and because I don’t have a life (or maybe it’s just that SunaOsa is my life LOL), I’m here to tell you some of my favorite fics from the pile :D However, as much as I love a ship, sometimes fluff is too asajndajnd so mind you there will probably be a lot of good fics missing just cause I couldn’t get myself to read more fluff (or angst) LOL (IM SORRY but sometimes I also just can’t motivate myself to read a fic no matter how good it looks OOPS).

As always, please check warning and tags before reading any of these fics, and take care of yourselves!!!!

In no particular order (jk the order is last updated haha) tho my favorites will have *** next to them :)

***glass stained black by unrequitedangst (E) 31k // Mafia AU’s are some of my favorite kinds of fics, and this one did not disappoint! The character development of Osamu is really legit and despite being mafia, it’s not that heavy or angst of a fic (but you should still definitely read tags and warnings first). It’s an Osamu heavy fic, and if you’re into reading him being stupid, go right ahead LOL.

redux by catalysis (T) 2.3k // ngl I hate break-up fics with a passion truely (when you can’t handle fluff or angst what to do) but I liked the concept for this one hehe (so I made myself suffer LOL). It was short, but cute !!! and the unspoken words really hit me in the FEELS (so what I’m dramatic fight me LOL).

Impropriety by DeathBelle (T) 5.7k // royalty~ I love the banter between them in this fic and we DO stan respectful Osamu yes we do <33333 The relationships between not only SunaOsa but SunaAtsu (because even though it isn’t really SunaAtsu best friend agenda, I can delude myself into think it is okay :/) are done so well and so nice he’s mean Osamu is best Osamu.

***what are you waiting for? by Slumber (T) 3.7k // MIGHT BE MY FAV FIC FROM THIS EXCHANGE!!! It made me cackle and I love how they learn new things about each other!!!! Like the development is so good and Suna is really doing the MOST!! Also, I love recursive endings AHHHHHH!

agape by sketchedsmiles (T) 11.7k // soulmates, then they were SOULMATES! (ik that’s not how it goes but pls just humor me LOL) This fic really depicted Osamu’s insecurities/internal turmoil/overthinking really well and the realization he has vs Suna’s AHJAFKASFJ. I love confident Suna.

fireside by tartaglia (starkartifices) (T) 3.6k // we do love the subtle flirt flirt don’t we hehe ;) It’s short, it’s fluff, and it’s funny - what more could you ask for? Also whats a vigilante fic if there isn’t at least one pun about being a vigilante LOL.

Over and Over Again by tookumade (G) 6.4k // I would like to order one reassuring, reliable Miya Osamu for myself please and thank you :((( The way the relationship is so GOOD like both Suna and Osamu pick each other up and they know the other has their back ajfhkajdfl. I would purchase all the onigiri with the deal Suna was proposing ;) Onigirintarou.

from here to eternity by TheGlovedArtist (T) 6.6k // I for one am a big fan of mythology and stuff (heroes of olympus but like IDR any of the plot LOL) so of course I read this fic. The snark appearances of Sakusa and Komori gave me LIFE and the difference in descriptions from Astumu and Kita cracked me up. This is another respectful Osamu fic (yes I love these) and in this one it was a ‘I save you as much as you save me’ type beat LOL. Gotta love rings.

***Subtle Inarizaki Dating by sifuhotman (T) 15.2k // THIS ONE. Even if you don’t read the whole thing, I beg of you, please, I AM ON MY KNEES, read the SID for Astumu. It is worth the loss of all your brain calls I guarantee it. It made me giggle so freakin much. Suna might be an A-Hole but he’s OUR A-Hole <3

Forever Begins with 8 Seconds by subtlehues (T) 3.9k // FLUFF hehe, I love their dynamic in this one it’s very good and cute and everything great! Also, I am all for the head cannon that Suna cannot cook, yes pls. Also SUPERPOWERS whooooooooh.

***try again, and again, and again by rosegoldwriting (T) 2.6k // SOULMATES! If you ever wanted a specific soulmate AU! for SunaOsa look no further, it probably comes out LOL. I love this concept of them just being like ‘WTF’ everyday, it gives me life. Also, count how many soulmate AU’s you recognized because I just thought about it and I think it’d be fun LOL. (I went back and I think 11 but I’m not sure LOL)

let us burn by SilverMoonT (G) 13.5k // I am always up for a nice vampire Osamu and witch Suna (which believe it or not, is my second one because I read the other one by this writer LOL) This one is more Suna POV and it really goes into his fears and desires, and I like the way Osamu pushes him to live more freely.

***reasons to microwave an elixir by spiritscript (T) 8.2k // THIS ONE. UGH I love, and it’s funny and cute and it EVEN HAS CRIME (kinda not really but yes)! I love the quiet moments they have and the PET AHHHHHHH! We love medic Osamu :DDDDD But also the betrayal and the sparring (and the irony at the end LOL) AJSKJNFK.

we fall between by stringendos (T) 14.7k // honestly the entire time I was just screaming at my computer, begging for them to hurry up and realize, but alas this is a ~slow burn~ for a reason and the tag ‘exes who act like theyre married’ really is the reason I read it and I do not regret LOL. Also bless Matsuda and stan her.

All the Time in the World by minie_ai (M) 8.8k // we love immortality! Denial! And Suna mentally filing away blackmail against people (namely Astumu) LOL. Running away from your problems is always the answer (I am saying this is a not sarcastic manner because I too, run away from my problems LOL) but ramen is ALWAYS a good answer. We love ourselves some emotional constipation LOL.

***none but you by broikawa (T) 7.2k // everything is a competition always LOL, not that I’m complainin but still LOL EVERYTHING. I really love this one because I love the progression and cock-block SakuAtsu hehe. I love them being synchronized idiots <3

it all comes back to you, (my home) by iritaescents (T) 4.5k // FOREVER, WE STAN FOREVER. Anyway, LOL this was is very very cute and fluff and not slow burn, it fast burn LOL. It’s a cute fic to read and it even has our favorite, now say it with me SOULMATES LOL.

Can't help falling in bed with you by tirralirra (T) 6.7k // here we see a 5 + 1 with points for the title (I think it’s very funny LOL my humor is bad ;)) Not that it really needs extra points because it’s a great fic in itself LOL but I really liked the title so I felt the need to share this with you all (OOPS). This was so cute, and the + 1 is HILARIOUS.

It’s no longer up :(((((( -> love's consequences by xginpuff (T) 6.5k // WARNINGS AND TAGS been a while since we had an angsty fic in this list (LOL the way I just tried to avoid all of them hehe). I read the tags but ngl I was still surprised later LOL maybe I��m just dumb, but anyway IK it starts out a bit confusing, but after you read more, you’ll get into it!

***sunagashi by bastigod (T) 9.8k // if there’s anything I like more than mythology, it’s folklore LOL. I love this fic and the plot is written so artfully AHDSAJN. Also the scene with the Ume-chan and her comment (so snarky I love). Also they way I went through so much trouble trying to figure out the kanji LOL (SPOILER it’s miyarin hehe)

catch me (while i'm still runnin') by lunarins (T) 4.3k // first and foremost, may we have a moment of silence for Komori and his eyebrows..... Continuing, this fic was so good because I love a good heist hehe. Their slight of hand abilities really doing the most LOL, and the ending OMG. I love the way the writer added in how they appeared to others during the heist, it really made it so good! Ugh to have a painting class and almost die LOL.

***if we get this right by Slumber (G) 5k // OLD FRIEND plsplspls I love this fic and I love how Osamu slowly relearns who he knew Suna as AHHH. The ending, again UGH, I really loved it and their banter with one another.

The Study of Suna Rintarou by DeathBelle (T) 6.1k // PLEASE the way Osamu kept getting offended omg. But also the effort Suna puts into getting to know Osamu, I was in ~love~. Read to me Osamu, READ TO ME. But also the Osamu is an oblivious MF agenda is alive and well within this fic hehe.

Take a Hint by pancake_surprise (G) 2.3k // ok so I had just read a tumbr post about the one bed thing and then I saw this fic. It was like the stars aligned okay? I was like, ig I HAVE to read it now hehe. But seriously read it, it’s cute and like everything else, of course there’s a challenge to be made LOL.

Heatwave by pancake_surprise (G) 2.1k // the way they were dating without knowing they were dating man. The tag ‘Didn't Know They Were Dating‘ more accurate than the ‘first dates’ one LOL jk but actually tho am I kidding? It’s the first official one IG. LOL anyway, we do love the doin of the defining of relationships. Yup.

If you made it all the way down here, CONGRATS LOL. Like I said, I didn’t read all of them (sadly) and these were the ones i did read LOL. I might add more depending on whether I can motivate myself into reading fics I know will be good LOL so we’ll see heh. Honestly, I thought I was gonna get word counted, but YAY we finished (for now hehe). Also sorry for any possible typos (is this no beta we die like men?) I’m running on 90 min of sleep so my engrish be strugglin LOL. Be safe and wear masks :)

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double-yellows · 2 years

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2022 F1 Drivers as Lesser-Known Animal Crossing Villagers, Part 1

I’ve decided to be the fun and silly I want to see on the dash (rather than frickin’ bodyshaming and fandom meltdowns), AND I wasn’t going to be able to do any real work until I got this idea out of my head, so this is my offering to F1blr today. Basically all I’ve been doing on my vacation is reading up on F1 and playing Animal Crossing New Horizons (thanks but no thanks omicron variant), might as well smash two great tastes together.

I made these with MS Paint and my weirdo brain, you’ve been warned <3. Took my a shocking amount of time to assign characters to drivers, given that I wanted to avoid all the obvious ACNH faves, so I’m just posting a few today - trust me tho, I’ve got most of the grid figured out and I'll post more parts as I'm feelin' it.

This is the pairing that set me on this dark path. Look at Beardo - that bear is a FATHER and you won’t convince me otherwise. Dare I say he’s also a daddy? I can see certain parts of the fandom coming this way with torches and pitchforks, so I gotta bounce, but if you know, you know.

Sometimes, when you’re #blessed with strong brows, they can make you look a little grumpy and angry when you’re just thinking about what you’re gonna eat for dinner after work. Buck looks like he’s permanently ticked off, but behind those brows is a whole sweetie who’s a big nerd. And boi if that ain’t Lance too (although let’s be real, sometimes Lance is just ticked off lol).

Roscoe is both kinda scary and uhhh a little babely for a cartoon animal - I hate that I think this, and if it weren’t raining and 44F right now, I'd run outside and throw myself down on the sidewalk about it. But here we are, and I once again blame the virus. Black Mercedes Race Suit George gives me the same vibes all around - I hate than I find this attractive, but I can’t deny it.

Charles is a man who isn’t afraid to accessorize (perhaps he should be more afraid, but lord knows I’m not one to judge), and while I could have sworn I saw a picture once of Chal wearing basically the same type of scarf Cranston is rocking (if anyone knows the one I mean, PLEASE let me know), this pic Carlos took of him all bundled up on the plane is actually pretty perf. Plus Cranston’s goal is to be a CEO - he wants to get to the top of the game (unseating Tom Nook, perhaps?) as much as Charles does!

So this one might seem a little out of left field, but hear me out - Gruff is a cranky old man goat who lives in a diner/garage, plays the drums, and wears an "old school" jacket around. He'll happily wear absolutely anything you give him, though, including ladder shades and oversized hoodies. Despite being a cranky villager, he's almost always in a sunny mood. Plus look at the eyelashes game - I know I'm jealous. Anyway, long story short, I vibe-checked Nando and the test came back positive for Gruff, the most How Do You Do Fellow Kids villager.

And finally, a bonus frenemy for Part 1 - Renée seems like kind of a stuck up c-word, but she's actually extremely cool. Always willing to welcome you to the scene with a "yo yo yo!" and a lil wave. Loves to reminisce about the good old days (when she'd hang out in a vacant lot apparently?). Honestly, Nico is way more cringe these days than I think Renée is capable of, but I really feel in my gut that there's some strong similarities (particularly re: nostalgia).

#seb #lance #charles #george #nando #nico r #just a bit of fun but please feel free to argue (unseriously) with me #animal crossing

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askmyboys · 3 years

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I’d call these more, my own interpretations instead of just OCs

I’ll tell you how this happened tho, i was literally just comin back from a l o n g ass road trip listenin to the musical and my tired lil brain started thinkin bout these boys and i was like ...what if i just,, made my o w n versions of em? What if I just,, and then boom, out popped well, this-

| Names: Henry Jekyll and Edward Hyde

| Nicknames: Jekyll doesn’t much care for nicknames but Hyde calls him Jek, Hen or Hen-Hen, or Henny which he REALLY hates. For the other, it’s either Ed or just simply Hyde ...Jekyll has given him many ‘nicknames’ mostly they are hateful ones tbh.

| Genders: Henry goes by he/him and Hyde goes by he/him and it/its

| Ages: Unknown but they are both adults

| Heights: Jekyll is 5’7” and Hyde is like 6’6” for sure (even tho they inhabit the same body, fuck it, im makin the rules ..andchangingthemfromtheogthing but i say height changes when Hyde’s in control)

| Species/Races: Henry’s a human ofc and Hyde? Honestly, idk what this thing is, all i can tell you is he’s stinky

| Eye Colors: Jekyll’s eyes are a Baby Blue color and Hyde’s eyes are Blood Red (ooh e d g y man)

| Hair Colors: Jekyll’s hair is honestly a messy curly undercut and the color of it is a dark brown and he has gray on the sides meanwhile Hyde’s hair is Black and in a spiked quiff style and he also has gray on the sides

| Skin Colors/Body Types: Jek’s a BIT pale but Hyde’s a much more- his skin is definitely more so a Whitish Gray kinda color so it’s definitely more noticeable than Jek’s skin if you look close enough at that (things do have to change when a certain one is in control of the body, can’t be EXACTLY the same or else it might give away that their the same person hehe) and their body types don’t really change- Jek’s body type is skinny (nothing TOO bad ofc, just a tad bit) if Hyde had his own body he’d definitely be a more average kinda bulkier build.

| Appearances: Okay first things first- they both have circle beards EXCEPT Hyde’s is a LOT more scruffier (he also has thicker sideburns btw!) and a BIT more grown out than Jek’s which is trimmed a bit more and groomed perfectly.

Jekyll usually has the typical lab coat on and a baby blue turtleneck underneath it, he also has blue pants that he wears with it as well and some oxford shoes that match the outfit, he also wears circle glasses as well (they help him see a lot better p much whereas when Hyde’s in control he doesn't really need em actually) Henry has a GOOD amount of scars all over his body, whether it be by accident, inflicted on purpose, or something more… It’s partially why he keeps his turtleneck on mostly and the lab coat helps as well- he’s ashamed of the scars and he tries to hide them especially so no one will worry about him, also for some more minor details- he wears a black watch on his wrist as well (he has no piercings or nothin like that) that’s p much it for Jek tbh, his features are p much 100% human so uh yeye

Now onto Hyde’s outfit- And yes, keep in mind- he’s still kinda,, an entity or whatever the fuck he is inside Henry’s body essentially but he DOES change his clothes when going out- his main one for going out is usually a black cloak he wears around himself (the outfit underneath is a black suit vest with a long dark red tie (his shirt underneath the suit vest is a dark red long sleeved shirt), he also wears black pants, and dark red oxford shoes, and of course he’s got a black top hat on (the band on it is red, definitely keeping a black n red themed appearance here aint he?) (his other outfits, hm I can leave up to the imagination tbh this is just for when he’s travelling around and so other people don’t spot him nearly as easily, especially when it’s n i g h t t i m e…) he’ll wear whatever the fuck he wants, and it doesn’t have to be fancy in the s l i g h t e s t- he has a variety of options.

He also has pointed ears, razor sharp teeth (got them bear trap teeth but not only that, he’s got a lot more s e c r e t teefs than that ;) he’s a lot more monstrous on the inside than the outside i’ll say that much, Jek’s n Hyde’s anatomy does change and transform depending on who gains control ...honestly it probs hurt to have your body transform and shift like that ouchie) he also has multiple tongues, he has claws that he painted black and red for the a e s t h e t i c s ya know- and hell at this point he might as well have tentacles ...He might- but I mean if you really wanna know, fuck around and find out for yourself and fuck it- he also has a dark red devil style tail since he wanna act like fuckin Satan himself smh

...I made him a lot more monstrous than originally planned but eh its fitting- bc this is Jek’s body even with a LOT of changes in these regards, he’s got the same scars n such as that, he also wears black and red spiral gauges in his ears (I should also say, he can technically hide these features to make himself appear more human, i didnt originally intend on giving him any actual monstrous features except maybe sharp teeth, claws, n the pointed ears but here we are, he still gotta not arouse suspicion around him too much tho) also his eyes have dark circles around them, not because he’s a tired man he’s just a fucking- hellish bastard who loves to look intimidating.

| Personalities: Let’s uhh start off with Jekyll because he’s better and nicer and not nasty and gross n smelly looking- He’s kind, sweet, compassionate, caring, honestly wouldn’t hurt a fly himself- could never willingly hurt someone! A sweet babey man! He’s very intelligent- I mean,, he IS a Doctor after all, he takes pride in his work but it’s not that overbearing narcissistic type pride, he’s just proud of the breakthroughs he’s made ...Granted, there is one “breakthrough” he wished he could take back .. -glancing slowly at Hyde in the reflection of the mirror- ahem- but he’s always been pretty outgoing but a lot has changed since, that abomination came into his life, sure he still tries his best to be a good person, he tries his very damnedest to find some sorta way to separate or better yet a way to destroy this evil vile beast that plagues his and everyone else’s lives! He’d rather destroy Hyde than separate from him because even then, it's still back to square one only with worse damage since he’d be of his own free will now.

He shuts himself away in his Lab a LOT, as much as he can anyways to avoid going out and risking something more happening to anyone else, of course…

There is no avoiding the outside world forever, he needs things to eat and drink, he needs things to keep his body functioning and not to mention not going outside could drive him, well, more insane than he already feels he is- He just tries to be as quick as he can about it before the other takes control or tries to, Jek definitely has a lotta anxieties and fears, and ya know at this point I mean,, hell- the man’s got trauma- Sometimes he wonders if any of this is actually real, if he had just gone insane and was just imagining all this, sometimes his head hurt because of all the thoughts and potential scenarios along with their outcomes plagued his mind, he feels a lot of things he never thought he’d feel towards anyone, he feels anger and hatred toward Hyde but in a way aside from feeling so negatively toward the other, he can’t help but admire the way Hyde wishes to just simply l i v e, and even before this beast became apart of him… He was always anxious deep down and almost scared to take that jump when needed.

But Hyde? Hyde doesn’t seem to even c a r e! That thing lives it’s life without any care whatsoever, he doesn’t have any anxieties or fears at all it seems! In a way, Henry might even be a lil envious toward the other’s carefree attitude and that he’s free of anxieties and fears ...H-He still doesn’t want the other around, he still wishes to destroy Hyde of course, even with the envy and maybe a slight bit of admiration he has his morals and principals, and if Hyde continues to exist or w o r s e gets his own body it could prove v e r y perilous.

Now onto… Eugh, Hyde- The bastard man himself- He’s stinky- an evil bastard who really needs just a good punch in the face (god don't do it yourself tho, he’ll probs eat ur entire arm) Hyde’s absolutely disgusting, will do ANYTHING to get what he desires, he can be narcissistic in some regards, VERY prideful and greedy in many ways, he isn’t above committing murder like really, was he EVER above it? If he wanted, he’d literally murder you not even for a bag of corn chips but literally just one, psh- selling you to satan for one? Bah that’s amateur’s work! He’s somehow a minor inconvenience who can commit REALLY nasty and horrible atrocities at the same time if he feels like it, if he finds out something annoys you or REALLY pisses you off he’s going to keep doing it, he will literally try driving you insane just for the fun of it, really at this point it doesn’t seem like he HAS much of a goal but to just l i v e and cause chaos, destruction, and mayhem wherever he goes, he despises Jekyll in many ways, one being for trying to destroy him first and foremost but also Henny is just s o fucking weak, such a weak man with far too many anxieties, fears, etc- He’d be SO much better of a man if he’d simply let Hyde take control and STAY in control!

It’d make everything a lot easier, then Jek wouldn’t have to worry about ANYTHING ever again! No more of that pathetic nonsense! If it were possible, Hyde would absolutely l o v e to have his own body, separate from Jekyll, that way he could have his own life separate from that pathetic weakling’s! But… Even then, Jekyll and Hyde are one, in many ways they are absolutely apart of one another, two sides of the same coin, even with their MAJOR differences in personality and Hyde almost seeming like an entirely different entity just merely possessing Jekyll, after all, Hyde will admit it himself, he spawned from deep within Jekyll’s mind, he’s tried to get the other to see time and time again that he’s always been apart of the other deep down, Jek’s always had a more mad and evil side to him! Even if the other will deny this and take the denial to his grave, Hyde always persists in trying to get the other to see the truth in front of his eyes!

Aside from that tho, Hyde is just generally a dick and loves to mess with Jek and terrify him sometimes for literally no reason, hell he could be bored one day and decide “Hey Henny, fuck you, you suck” he loves to start drama, he loves to cause problems on purpose- Both of them would give anything to separate from each other, even if Hyde knows the truth deep down bout the both of them, even if he were always originally a part of Jekyll, it didn’t matter, that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to get his own body, away from that pathetic coward of a man!

| Side Facts: Jekyll rarely ever gets to relax or any free time, he’s too worried to give himself that in fear he’ll lose control, he’s almost CONSTANTLY fighting to keep control over the other, even though he knows it's physically impossible to do so, after all, he can’t stay awake forever, sure that doesn’t stop him from trying to stay awake as long as he can before his body practically forces him to pass out and he’s MUCH weaker than he used to be, I mean hell, given how long Jekyll seems to have been around, fighting SO much and almost EVERY single day has practically worn his body down but whenever there is an opportunity for any “free” time he usually spends it trying to figure out an antidote or a way to get rid of Hyde (I will say, before Hyde REALLY started doing bastardous n horrendous things, Jek would still get annoyed with him bc he was always that way but he actually, I’d say tolerated him more so than he does by now) and Hyde even- well, he still disliked Henry IMMENSELY so, but he definitely wasn’t as bad or as awful as he is to the other now, it was more so I tolerate you and we dont have to seriously fight or struggle with each other for control and back then Jek would even sometimes let Hyde have control.

But then… A serious incident (I wont name what exactly) but a serious incident that happened caused the two to absolutely despise each other (i didnt say up there, yes, Hyde absolutely despises Jekyll but there is some heavily hidden admiration in regards to the other’s determination, his persistence, and even somewhat of his creativity, Jekyll despite being an annoying nuisance in Hyde’s way, he does have some admirable things about him) but anyway- ever since that incident occurred, Jek has tried almost EVERYTHING he knew of to get rid of Hyde, even if separation from his body would still be bad bc that could mean Hyde would obtain his own body honestly? I believe Jekyll would still take that opportunity if he were given it, if he needed, he’d try and find someway to stop Hyde’s evil, maybe it’d be easier even if the other had his own body, he didn’t know, he just wishes he could be free from all this torment and agony like gosh damn give this man a b r e a k. Give him some fruit gummies and an appy juice carton and leave him be!

When Hyde is in control he wastes little time in finding things to do, being able to be out, to see the world, the world ripe for chaos and destruction, he wastes little time in getting straight to work with whatever his devious lil mind wants to think of- also for more monstrous purposes, back up there, I was p vague with the mention of teeth on his insides- p much teeth going down his throat and hell who knows, the bastard probably has teeth on the inside of his stomach at this rate- Another not so fun fact, this man can unhinge his jaw! Yaaay so u can see sharp teefs! ...He does have to kinda set his jaw back in place though bc god forbid Jek takes control then.

Smh imagine taking back control of your body only to have a fucking dislocated j a w wouldn’t that be hellish?

Hyde rarely ever does this for a few reasons- he only does it if he’s in the mood for just takin a big chomp outta someone (big chompy) just, just please- lock this thing away- or kill it, it's a menace to society and deserves nothing good- two more things btw, tbh I genuinely wasnt even considering inhuman features at first but ya know, I compromised- he has them he just chooses to hide them more often and speaking of, while Hyde says he’s always been apart of Jekyll (well this version I made anyway) that deep down their two sides of the same coin, can you really believe him? I mean, I’m not going to spoil it and tell ya anything in that regard, but who knows, who knows what Hyde REALLY is, whether or not he’s always been apart deep down inside of Jek or just some form of entity that spawned via that wonderful little formula.

And the final thing is, their voices are p much based on the musical ones' voices- Hyde’s is that deeper n raspier kinda voice while Jek’s is much softer and ya know POLITE sounding.

#my own versions #im not gonna tag them as OCs or anything like that #so they get an entirely different tag #jekyll and hyde #we have one himbo doctor who honestly shoulda known better smh and then we have one bastard #who needs to be put on a fucking leash

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ultraclops · 4 years

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Semi-Live Blogging: Finale Time!

With reaction images this time!

Adoradad

TRAINING EXERCIIISE

Adorabat's practicing her screaming! Bet that's gonna come in handy later.

"Fneh!" Wow what an introduction Eugene

His design is like? Really cool?? He looks practically nothing like Adorabat tho. And why does he have a spade on his stomach instead of a heart??

Badgerclops drew him with a giant ass mustache lol.

Adorabat takes banjo lessons? More importantly, Eugene thought she was at a banjo lesson FOR 8 MONTHS?!

"She scares me" lol

Adorabat ran away from home? Why?

"I thought you were a ward of the state!" Remember when everyone thought Adorabat was an orphan? Yea.

"I thought you were my conscience!" Badgerclops...you've lived with Adorabat for a year...went to her school...AND YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS A PIECE OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS?!

...why did Badgerclops use Adorabat as monster bait...

I expected to hate Eugene but he's actually really cute and interesting?? Aside from the fact he thinks Mao Mao & Badgerclops are criminals. Love to see him again sometime!

Wow her dad has a whole badass mansion!! Why doesn't she just stay there...

Oh...her mom died...that's why he's so protective of her and was so upset when she left. Also her mom looks amazing & I wanna see a flashback episode with her. For some reason I can imagine her sounding like a deeper version of Scoops?

Aww Adorabat's room is super cool! Also Eugene cracking the door for her asfgjkl

"Do you think that monsters attacking the city are gonna - wait, does that have peanut butter in it? " (Cuts to MM & BC eating ice cream while crying) That's a perfectly rational reaction to losing your adoptive daughter

"I can keep it together!" (Cut to Mao Mao trying and failing to shovel ice cream in his mouth with his helmet on) NSADGEDHAMADH

Wait a second. Mao's eating mint chocolate chip ice cream. ISN'T CHOCOLATE TOXIC TO CATS?!

"But you said I was part of the team!!" "Then you're...off the team."

Adorabat crying while showing Eugene the picture OUCH MY HEART...

"I used to go exploring in those caves with Mom all the time..." I'm guessing those are the caves from the promo?

"She wasn't afraid of anything!" " Well Adorabat definitely takes after her mother...

"And then one day, Sonara didn't come back with you." Ooh her name's Sonara!! Pretty!! I can't tell if they chose it cuz it sounds like Sonar or because it means "pleasant sounding"

Glad to see Adorabat's still a die-hard metal fan, even with Eugene

Oof Mao isn't taking this well at ALL if he's pretending Adorabat's molt is her...

OOH SHIT ADORABAT RAN OFF TO THE CAVES - wait a minute no she didn't. OH NO EUGENE WENT TO THE CAVES

Ooh there's Sonara's looking glass, bet that's gonna be important

Yay Adorabat saved her dad!

Damn Adorabat must be super traumatized after basically watching her mother die. No wonder she tried to murder Boba-Chan!

Oh the only way to stop the monster is by screaming!

(Mao Mao hears Adorabat scream) "ADORABAT?!" ADOPTIVE DAD POWERS ACTIVATE

Ooh her mother's figure appears over her when she says she's not afraid of anyone...maybe her spirit's inside of her or something?

REVENGE TIME BAYBEY

HOLY SHIT ADORABAT FUCKING MURDERED THAT THING

Eugene & Adorabat both apologized to each other I...

"You can't just leave without the most fearless member of the group!" YAAY ADORABAT'S BACK (Also how are we gonna explain to Eugene Adorabat's scared of the dark?)

"I'll mess 'em up real good! So good, their mommies and daddies won't be able to recognize them when I'm done..." Daaammmnnn...

"She scares me :)"

I wonder...is Sonara really dead? Or are they gonna pull a Kipo & have her still be alive but in a different form?

Badge-A-Fire explosion

Uhh...where is Badgerclops? And why is Mao Mao on the top bunk?!

Of course Badgerclops is petty enough to install a fake monster alarm on his laptop to wake Mao Mao and Adorabat up.

"This is a super-serious work meeting, as you can see by the fact that I haven't provided any snacks!" No snacks?! This must be a serious issue!! /s

"As you know, I am a creative genius. Sometimes there's so much natural creative genius that my brain overloads, and I enter a heightened state that I call 'Ultra Focus'..." Oh so basically like hyperfixation?

"...where I break into a creative sprint, inventing super-advanced technology at supernatural speeds, unparalleled by anyone in the entire field of science." Okay maybe only a LITTLE bit like hyperfixation...wait a second, IS THAT WHY BADGERCLOPS IS SO TIRED ALL THE TIME?!

Uhh did he get his arm stuck in the front door? HE TOOK THE AEROCYCLE?!

"...I forget everything the next morning." Remember my headcanon that Badgerclops represses his memories? Yea...

"Which is why it's not my fault and I don't think I should be criticized :D" TBH I screamed with laughter at this scene solely because of the expression he made

...HE GAVE THE SKY PIRATES THE GEM CELL?! I mean he clearly wasn't thinking right when he did it BUT STILL?!

"Oh hey, I told you I'd use that weird elevator thing!" Dude you LITERALLY used it in Ultraclops. What are you talking about.

"If the Sky Pirates had the Gem Cell, they would've used it already!" That is a fair point ngl.

Umm...did Badgerclops give Adorabat a BOMB?!

Tbh if my friend woke me up in the middle of the night with weird-looking eyes and handed me a timer while saying something about an explosion I would DEFINITELY not go back to sleep afterwards...

I'm sorry, IS THE WHOLE VALLEY GONNA BLOW UP?! WHAT THE HELL DID HE MAKE?!

Mao wiping Badgerclops' tears I'm

A paper towel dispenser? Well that's not that bad - IS THAT A GIANT PAIR OF PANTS?!

Ooh it's not a shock collar it's a translator!! That makes a bit more sense... "I HAVE NO REMORSE OR CONCEPT OF EMPATHY!" ...if the monster doesn't have remorse or empathy how does it know what those words mean...

Badgerclops keeps telling Mao Mao & Adorabat not to criticize him...hmm...I wonder who criticized his inventions that made him that way...*cough* HIS MOM *cough*

"Are all your inventions this weird?!" "YOU'RE WEIRD!!"

IM SORRY DID BADGERCLOPS BUILD A DANCING MACHINE INTO MAO MAO'S BONES?! HIS BONES?! AND HE MADE ADORABAT A SECOND MEGAPEG?!

What in the absolute hell is going on dgaadhdagdadga

Okay but when Badgerclops clutched his head and started shaking when Mao Mao asked why he made those things...I FELT THAT IN MY HEART I FELT THAT IN MY SOUL

Ngl this scene really hit home for me cuz that's how I act when I have a breakdown...

The timer went off but nothing blew up - WAIT, IS THAT A REPLICA OF MECHA HOSSORAFFASNAKEARANG?!

"Initializing Totally Humane Knockout Procedure." (Proceeds to slam the Sheriff's Dept. into the ground) ajdajdgdad

Ooh...ohh they're on some sort of water park...ride...thing??

"And if I didn't want us to get out, then I made sure we couldn't...with super-strong shoe things." But there isn't any on Adorabat, can't she just squeeze herself out?

Ooh I'm getting Pirates of the Caribbean vibes

There's the Gem Cell, it must be powering the ride! Also the robotic arm slaps Mao's hand the same way Mao slaps Badgerclops' hand in Flyaway skkkk

"My amazing creativity is finally gonna destroy us all..." "Hey, at least we'll be destroyed together!" Fair point, fair point

The shoosh returneth

"I always loved inventing." So he was an inventor ever since he was little? Daww.

YOUNG BC IS SO ADORABLE!! He has a lil medical patch instead of an eyepatch which is def more accurate to real life...but what's the vest for? Protection in case he falls? A pressure stim?

That figure's def his mom since they rejected his ideas & he mentions she was mean to him. Also the theory that his mom's a villain seems a bit stronger since they straight-up hand him a tool kid + a set of blueprints with no regard to his safety...

"Also there was a bunch of other kids at school and some other people throughout my life who mocked me relentlessly." THEN WHY'D YOU TELL ADORABAT YOU COULDN'T RELATE TO HER WHEN SHE SAID NO ONE WANTED TO BE HER FRIEND?! (Also I noticed literally all the kids are other badgers, so I'm assuming Badgerclops grew up sheltered like Mao Mao did.)

So the Ultra Focus is basically a really weird coping mechanism to deal with all the abuse and bullying he went through? Holy fuckkk

"They only made fun of you because they were jealous. Happened to me my whole life!" Umm...

"Even the dance chip I surgically implanted in your brain?" Excuse me the dance chip that you WHAT

"I love you-" HE SAID IT 💗💓💗💓

"I'm finally around people who love and understand me..."

Wait did the cannon misfire? DID IT BLOW A HOLE IN THE GROUND?!

OH HE ACTUALLY DID CREATE AN ANIMATRONIC BAND?! I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE!!

"Take it away, Boss Hosstritch!" (Distorted garbling)

Oof Mao caught all the water

"We hope you all enjoyed being Badgerclops' friend." 💞💕💞💕

Not that anyone cares but I noticed there's a picture of some of the Sweetypies on the monitors, meaning 1. Badgerclops tested it out using them first, or 2. Badgerclops just likes those Sweetypies for whatever reason. Tho that makes me wonder why he'd choose Pinky of all people...

THE SKY PIRATES WERE INSIDE THE ANIMATRONICS THE WHOLE TIME?! THE MAN BEHIND THE SLAUGHTE

Zing Your Heart Out

Why are they giving out rotten sushi??

"HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME EATING SOMETHING GROSSLY?!"

Ooh god Chester's gonna be super freaking annoying in this episode, I can feel it.

"What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!" BAYBEY

Jesus what a prick. GET HIM MAO MAO

Ngl that background's really pretty...

Oooh no the Ruby Pure Heart's being weird again. Ooh no.

FUCK YEA ROAST HIM BABY - Did Adorabat's eyes turn purple because the Ruby Pure Heart gave her powers?

Oh so the siren in Badgerclops' robo-arm is a backup monster alarm?

More Sky Pirates - and the Pure Heart's being weird again...

"I'd tell you but despite your height it'd go right over your HEAD!" Asdfgghjjk

"For someone with two brains, you're not very BRIGHT!" EVEN BETTER

Kevin said he was raising money for a school trip, then for a trip to the hospital...which one is he raising money for?!

"SILENCE PANCAKE, LEST YE BE BUTTERED"

OOH NO SHE ATTACKED MAO AND BC

"IT FEELS LIKE THE WEIGHT OF ONE THOUSAND PLANETS!!"

"One second, I'm getting mad, and the next thing you know-" Is she freaking possessed??

Wait, is the Pure Heart TALKING to Adorabat?! How?!

Cluckins you don't ask people what's wrong with their eyeballs...even if there is something wrong with their eyeballs

"I CAN'T FEEL MY SELF-RESPECT!!"

The pure 'oh shit' on Marion's face when Adorabat turns to her

Half of the people she insulted showed up to her party! Didn't that mean she loved them?!

Oh god not this bitch again - nvm, thanks Adorabat

"Taking over the castle and ruling Pure Heart Valley forever does sound nice..." This is starting to remind me of that one AU where Adorabat turns evil, becomes the ruler of the Sky Pirates, then convinces them to kill Snugglemagne and becomes the queen of Pure Heart...she isn't gonna kill Snugglemagne, is she?

What did Adorabat tell Snugglemagne?! I WANNA KNO

Why is Pinky stealing teeth...reminds me of this

NO BC DON'T EAT THE TEETH

"I...hate myself! Therefore, I'm invincible!" So the trick to not getting your ego destroyed...is to not have an ego. Sounds reasonable.

"Your bug platter, my king?" Genderfluid Adorabat rights

"Mao Mao, your head looks like a CROW!" (Mao Mao caws) IT WAS A LIE HE ISN'T A CAT HE WAS A CROW THIS WHOLE TIME-

"It looks like a half-melted ice cream cone!!" That is...a strange way to describe your own neck...

"Well, I'm...bad (◡‿◡)" Kinda weird that the canonically depressed character can't even cleverly insult himself

...why does Adorabat's skin smell like old cantaloupe

OH SHE IS POSSESSED!!

HOLY SHIT MAO WAS GONNA FUCKING MURDER ADORABAT TO SAVE THE KINGDOM?! THANK GOD HE SAW HER JOKE BOOK, HOLY SHIT

Positivity outweighs negativity!

"WHERE DOES A 800 POUND GORILLA SIT?!" "Where ever it wants!◝(⁰▿⁰)◜" Curse you for making me laugh...

OOH NO THE JOKEBOOK! - Wait nvm Mao remembers Adorabat's jokes!

I think the reason they used that joke is because it represents Mao Mao and Adorabat - Adorabat is blue, and she wants to be like Mao Mao, who wears red. What is BLUE, and smells like (is similar to) RED paint?

YAAAY HE BROKE HER FREE FROM MIND CONTROL!! And did BC get Thanos snapped in the background?

"Thank goodness you're alright! We almost..." Fucking murdered you? Yea

"Might we have our crown and kingdom back, yes?"

"Sorry for being such a monster today." "You're a monster everyday." Is that a joke because she was today's villain, a reference to Sleeper Sofa or foreshadowing?

I hope Mao Mao and Badgerclops decide to investigate what's up with the Heart in Season Two, cause I highly doubt they'll let Adorabat getting fucking possessed go under the radar.

The visual gag of Mao trying to stomp out his ice cream cone like a cigarette is perfect. This is peak comedy everyone else go home

WHOOP CHESTER'S ASS GUYS

Strange Bedfellows

"So, your name is Boss Hosstrich, but you're not actually the boss?" How long did it take him to realize that

JFC Mao & Orangusnake are REALLY hellbent on killing each other huh...at least the deputies and the other Sky Pirates have common sense.

Hahaha nice Dragon Ball Z reference - and they both got crushed by the monster! Lovely.

...did Mao seriously think he died and went to heaven?

So does Orangusnake breathe through Tanner or do they both breathe independently & Coby can feel when Tanner can't?

Dang those skeletons remind me of the Steven Universe Future episode Growing Pains. And why is Lucky inside of Orangusnake? "THAT WAS MY LUNCH, JERK!" Ooh that's why.

"They're full of these tiny, little cracks or, as they're known in the medical field, 'whoopsie-boo-boos'." AGSADGASGADGDASG

Damn their skeletons are just gonna freaking evaporate huh...

"The doctor said I was very brave :D"

Ooh shit the Deputies and the other Sky Pirates met at the same elevator, are they gonna fight - nevermind, they're still calling time.

JESUS CHRIST ARE MAO & ORANGUSNAKE EVER GONNA STOP?!

"You don't have the guts!" "I have a million guts." That is...mildly concerning

"Yeah, I wanted to be a baker, before I realized I liked hurting people so much." Then why doesn't she just like, help Muffins or something?

Tbh I thought Ratarang was holding a gun and I'm glad it was just a weirdly wrapped banana

CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME.

"Aww, y'all shouldn't have - this is empty." "Just like my heart when you injure yourself!!" He loves him sm...💓💓

"Why didn't you bring me weapons?!" "Because this is a hospital, and I'm a good boy (◡‿◡ )"

"I really feel like this could be a turning point in their relationship." (Mao and Orangusnake proceed to try and kill each other again) *sigh*

Ngl Mao & Orangusnake constantly repeating themselves is getting super annoying.

That hospital bed beeping is giving me flashbacks to all the times I went to the hospital for seizures...

"You know y'all could live like this, like, all the time if you didn't go around hurting people, right?" "Pssh! Tsk-tsk, boy. You know I gots to hurt people." Uhh you guys should really listen to Badgerclops he knows what tf he's talking about

UUhh, whose egg is that? "MAMA" ASGagddahDh

Of course they had to land in freaking CEMENT to realize that maybe they shouldn't kill each other

Did Mao just deflate like a ballo- oh nvm there he go.

Boneless Mao. Boneless Mao.

And Mao saved Orangusnake!! By...breaking every bone in his body somehow.

"I'm the kind of hero who wants to save you so I can fight you later...at the right time and place." Just gonna file this along with the credit score scene from Perfect Couple in the 'Orangumao' folder.

Is Badgerclops duct taping Mao to the stretcher? I mean, at least he won't move & hurt himself again but geez

Tbh Zing would’ve made a better finale than this ep. At least it had a sequel hook

#semi live blogging #semi-live blogging #//long post #// long post

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byeoltoyuki · 5 years

Text

Heart like yours ⇾ JHS

↳Pairing : You x Hoseok

Genre : Fluff / Extra fluff?

Words: +5k

Summary : First your favorite book. Then, your favorite flowers. No doubt you had a secrete admirer. Now, you couldn’t help but wonder who was behind all those lovely presents. And maybe, you hoped that Hoseok was the one behind it.

A/N: Thank you my sweet cutie pie @virgin-snow for another moodboard, you know how much I loved it! And it’s absolutely your fault that the supposed 2 pages long story turned into something else. (I still love you tho).

*****

There was something about spring that made you feel extremely dreamy, lively, peaceful and so at ease with your mind. And at the same time, spring brought an eerie atmosphere to the world. Birds were back, singing their songs every morning. Flowers were slowly showing themselves while trees came back to life. The park nearby your college was not an exception. It gave you inspiration and you felt the itch in your fingers to draw.

And it was exactly what you did every Wednesday afternoon for the past month. You would sit under a cherry blossom tree, your sketchbook and pencil on your laps. The view was astonishing with flowers blooming all around the place, the gentle breeze spread the petals of cherry blossom all around the place looking almost as if it was fairy dust. You put on some slow music on your phone and then you just let your hand move on its own, letting your surroundings guide you. You were completely immersed in the drawing, pouring your feelings on the paper, you forgot everything including the fact that you were supposed to go back to class.

"There you are." A very familiar voice called from beside you and then, the next thing you knew someone plopped just next to you. "I knew you'd be here."

Of course Hoseok would know where to find you. He always did. You rolled your eyes at him as he disturbed your peaceful drawing cession. He knew it would upset you but he also knew that you would forgive him anyway -especially if he showed you his beautiful smile. You could never stay mad at Hoseok.

"Oh come on! Don't glare at me like that, Y/N!" Hoseok complained, whining like a child before poking your cheek playfully and earning a light groan from you.

"Stop that." You tried to dodge his attack but Hoseok was faster and wrapped an arm around yours, forcing you to stay close so he could keep poking you soft cheek.

"Hobi!" You whined in despair which only made him laugh louder.

"Aren't you like supposed to be in your art class in" Hoseok started saying and then checked his watch, "Fifteen minutes?"

Your eyes widened in shock, you hastily grabbed his wrist to check the time for yourself and when you realized that he was right and not simply messing with you, you panicked and let a low 'shit' escape your lips. Hoseok chuckled at your reaction, absolutely not surprised by how you forgot all about your classes despite art class being your favorite.

You threw everything back in your bag without caring much if it turned into a mess in your bag. Despite the park being close to the campus you had little to not enough time at all to arrive on time. You cursed under your breath for being so clumsy and pretty much unlucky. You should have known better since it happened all the time but you never learn - and nobody blamed you anyway.

Hoseok stretched his hand for you to grab and help you to get up from the ground. He gave you one of his most beautiful smile and if you weren't in such rush you would have probably melted right on the spot, instead you simply grabbed his hand. "Thanks."

"What would you do without me huh?" He joked, his grip on your hand suddenly tightening.

"Not much. Probably." You agreed without hesitation because it was the truth. Hoseok was always there for you, reminding you that you had classes, bringing smile on your face and you could actually go on about all the things he did for you. You simply smiled in return, gave his hand a gentle squeeze before finally letting go. "See you later, Hobi!"

But just before you could run away he shouted a 'don't run! You're going to fall!!' And he was right because shortly after he said that you tripped but caught yourself on time.

You were just too clumsy.

*****

By some kind of miracle or a help of some deity, you managed to get to your art class right before your teacher. You sighed in relief and dropped right onto your chair, wiping some sweat from your face before something caught finally your attention. Right before you laid a book you were all too familiar since you kept borrowing it from the library -instead of buying your own version. You stared at the book for another good five minutes, your brain had long stopped functioning to the point that you hadn't noticed that your teacher started talking about a new project. At least until your friend shoved you playfully.

"You've been staring at the book for like five minutes, Y/N. It's almost creepy." Your friend commented but with a playful smile. "Did you borrow the book again and forgot it last time in class?"

"No."

"Oh? That's weird."

You nodded few times completely agreeing. Hesitantly, you took the book in your hands, brushing the soft cover with your thumb before finally opening the first page; a small note fell from it.

"I know how much you love A walk to remember. Why is it that you like sad stories hm? Now at you least you can stop borrowing it and just have this one with you."

Your eyes darted back and forth between the book and Soomin, wondering if it was some kind of joke, after all they did make fun of you for always borrowing this book instead of actually buying it for good.

"Is it from you, Soomin?" You finally asked

"Huh?" She asked confused before leaning closer and seeing the note. "Nope. I'm broke if you remember."

"Right." You actually rolled your eyes at her excuse that was only half valid but you let it go. Soomin had absolutely no reason to give you a present without clearly writing her name on the paper which made you only question further of who was behind this present. "Guess I'll find out another time."

But 'another time' never came up. No matter how much you thought about it or asked your closed friends about the book, none had an explanation. After two days of thinking, you decided to just give up, thanking whoever was behind this present for the attention. Yes, it was a little disturbing how well the person knew you but it was still a nice surprise.

Except it didn't really stop with the book.

The next surprise came barely two days later when once again you joined your art class right after lunch. A bouquet of pink roses laid on your usual sit with another small note stuck around the bouquet. You glanced all around the place, almost wanting someone else to be inside the class and tell you that it was for them - except you were alone and were pretty sure it was for you.

"I wondered for a moment which roses I should get you. I know you like them but it was still hard to chose! You like pink, right? So I hope you enjoy these."

And just like the previous time, it was printed instead of handwritten which made your investigation only harder. It was nice, you couldn't deny it. You felt your heart swell with fondness as you took sit and grabbed the bouquet of flowers. The pink roses were freshly mixed with some white daisies. The bouquet was absolutely lovely and you couldn't stop yourself from bringing the bouquet closer to your nose -stop yourself from putting your face right into the bouquet just so you could smell the nice scent of flowers.

"Thank you." You said to no-one in particular. It didn't matter that nobody was here to witness your gratitude or the soft smile that painted your face while you looked at the bouquet.

*****

"Have you guys heard that our little Y/N over here has a secrete admirer? Not like I can blame him, she's absolutely adorable and lovable." Soomin brought all the attention on you. Here you thought you would have a peaceful movie night at Jimin's place -like almost every Sunday night, but Soomin had other plans for you.

You hated how all the attention had shifted on you. Soomin exchanged a rather knowing look with Jimin -without a doubt he knew something too, and you didn't like it. You loved your friends. Really. But sometimes they could be too annoying for your liking -which was probably why you loved them in the first place but you couldn't possibly admit it out loud, not now, not ever.

"As in a guy is crushing on her but is too shy to confess openly?" Jimin wiggled his brows playfully at you but looked back at Soomin. "I'd be shy to confess too. Y/N looks like she'd eat a guy alive."

"She's going to eat you alive, yeah." Soomin chuckled and pointed at you.

Soomin was right. You could bear the teasing whenever it came from Soomin or Hoseok but whenever Jimin teased you, you would slowly lose your calm demeanor. Just like right now. You were openly staring at Jimin. Or more like shooting daggers.

"I'm not lying though! Y/N looks either sleepy or angry whenever she's alone so of course a guy would be scared to approach her!" Jimin tried to defend himself

"Well those guys are cowards!"

"Hey! I'd be scared too!" Then he glanced at you. "No offense."

You were very tempted to say 'none taken' because you never took Jimin seriously, but that would only push him to tease you more, so instead you grabbed a pillow and without mercy started hitting him hard right on the face, making him squeal. His arms flew right before his face to prevent your hits from hurting him any further but it was of no use. Maybe you looked frail and innocent but sometimes your strength became inhuman and Jimin had to face your wrath.

"Have mercy!" He begged while Soomin and Hoseok couldn't help but laugh at the childish fight that happened too often anyway just because Jimin knew how to rile you up. "Soomin! Stop laughing and help me!"

"Oh no babe. You deserved that one."

Hoseok was the one who took pity on him and decided to put a stop to the fight by wrapping both of his arms around your waist and pulling you back against him. Maybe if you weren't so into the fight you would have realized what Hoseok did, but instead you tried to free yourself so you could launch yourself back on Jimin.

"See! You're scary!" Jimin cried out and jumped from the couch to put some good distance between you two.

"You're such a baby!" Soomin joked

"You're terrible, Jimin." You complained and finally let go.

You flopped down on the couch only to realize that your back was not pressed against a soft back of the couch but against a rather toned chest and only then you noticed the pair of strong arms wrapped around you. Your whole body froze and you became awfully aware of how warm Hoseok felt against you or of how gently he held you against him, absolutely unbothered. You didn't realize you were holding your breath until you heard how hard your heart pounded and it made you only even more self-conscious. What if he could hear the frenetic beating of your heart too? It was too embarrassing so you didn't dare to move.

Hoseok made things easier for you. Once he was sure that you were not going to bounce back at Jimin, he slowly let go of you and sat back comfortably on the couch.

"I think it's cute." Soomin ignored Jimin's complaining about how badly you had hurt him and how badly he needed her attention and looked at you. "Whoever is crushing on you must be a romantic. The book? Your favorite flowers? He knows you well enough."

"Wouldn't that mean that it's someone close to her though?" Jimin dared to say before carefully getting back on the couch but still putting some distance between you two. Just in case. "It's not me I swear!"

"I'd be the one doing the beating if it was you." Soomin glared at him and it was enough for Jimin to sheepishly smile at her and wrap his arms around her body, nudging her cheek with his nose. "Yeah, yeah, be the cute guy now."

"I know I am." Jimin proudly said before shifting his attention back on you. "So. What are you going to do if this guys gathers the courage to confess? I'm genuinely curious."

"Shouldn't it depend on who's the guy?" Soomin said before you could even think about any logical answer.

You couldn't believe this conversation was still going on when all you wanted was to go back to the so called movie night. You didn't want think any further about the secret admirer -probably because of Hoseok's presence and that maybe you have been harboring a little crush on him.

"I swear to god, Jimin, you're so annoying. Soomin, why do you date this dumbass?" You cried in frustration which only made Jimin even more proud of himself as he smirked at you.

Annoyed and desperate, you pulled the blanket high enough to hide your face and muffle your groan. Please someone, save me. This situation was getting too embarrassing for you.

Hoseok chuckled at your lame attempt to hide from the world and from your friends. It wasn't the first time that he witnessed such fight and with you ending up even more embarrassed. He found it adorable how your cheeks would flare up. How you would try to look threatening with your brows furrowed. He circled his arm around your shoulders this time and pulled you closer against him, making sure you were comfortably settled against him before he patted your head gently.

"Well, aren't you cute?" Jimin cooed at you two

"What? You want a hug too? Come here!" Hoseok only laughed and made some kissy face knowing all too well that it would make Jimin stop from bothering you.

"Ew, hell no."

*****

Despite the movie night, when the morning came, you couldn't stop the sick feeling creeping inside you. Your mind was completely consumed by your art project that was due to today and even if you had finished it three days ago, you were still not so sure about the result. At first, it seemed nice. Far from perfect but acceptable for your liking. Now? Now, you weren't so sure. It was rather well known that artists whoever they were, were harsh to their work and you were no exception. Now that you stared at the canvas you were far from satisfied with your work.

Your head started throbbing, your hands turning suddenly sweaty and you felt nauseous just at the thought of going to class. Your mouth went dry as you contemplate your work. No, it wouldn't do. You couldn't bring this to your art class. You knew you could do better and you wanted it to show to everybody but sadly for you, you had no time left to start over.

"Shit."

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. You were overthinking again. You were being harsh towards yourself once again. You knew all of that and yet it was still hard to comfort yourself and think about something good.

You can do it.

And it seemed that you weren't the only one thinking that.

The moment you opened your door, ready to leave, you managed to stop yourself on time from stepping right into a small basket on the floor. There were chocolate, different kind of cookies and blueberry muffins, some fresh drink and of course a small note.

"This is sooooo unhealthy! But I know you love those. And I know you're stressed. Don't be. You underestimate yourself! I know you can do it. You will show them all how amazing and talented you are. When they'll see the result? I'm sure they will be completely bewildered! So take a breath? You'll be fine."

You choke on the note. You still of course had no clue about the identity of your secrete admirer but whoever it was you felt incredibly grateful for their words. It was encouraging and sweet and suddenly you didn't feel so down or disappointed. Your grip on the piece of paper only tightened as a small smile spread on your face.

"Fine. I definitely can do it."

And you did. You rocked the whole project, astonishing your teacher and your classmates. You had painted a landscape, nothing out of ordinary, nothing spectacular on the first glance -and especially for those who knew nothing about art, but those who knew couldn't ignore the details. They couldn't ignore your use of paints, your perfect use and mixing of colors giving to your painting an eerie vibe, turning the ordinary landscape into something more.

You left your classroom with a huge and proud smile on your face that only widened at the sight of Hoseok leaning against the wall as he waited for you with crossed arms. He, too, couldn't stop the smile spreading on his lips as he saw how happy you looked. There was no need of asking how it went, the answer was written all over your face.

But maybe you had underestimated your own joy and how more confident you felt because before Hoseok could even greet you, you jumped happily at him, circling your arms tightly around his waist as you yelled a 'I did it!'

You were so terribly lost in your own happiness that you hadn't noticed how Hoseok pulled you a little closer to him, one arm wrapped around you while his free hand ran through your hairs, gently brushing them. Maybe you would have noticed how fondly he was smiling at you and how his eyes were shining brightly.

"See? You had nothing to worry about." Hoseok looked down on you without stopping brushing your hair. You moved your head so you could look at him and see his beautiful face and only then you realized what you had done.

"Sorry!" You almost jumped away from him, too embarrassed and yet still incredibly happy. You felt your cheeks burning as you looked at him and gave him an apologetic smile. "I got carried away."

"I don't mind." Hoseok chuckled. "Want to grab a drink? I think you deserve one."

You couldn't say no.

To your biggest surprise your usually so crowded little café near your campus was almost empty which was definitely odd considering the fact that it was the middle of the afternoon and that most of students would just come here to study in a better atmosphere than the library -though in your opinion it was debatable. You nervously glanced back at Hoseok, almost expecting a some kind of explanation coming from him, except there was none. It seemed that for once students decided to spend their afternoon somewhere else and he looked pleased with this fact.

"Have a seat and I'll order. I guess you want your usual Mocha Coffee?" Hoseok asked despite knowing already your answer.

Maybe you were a little predictable. Or maybe he knew you too well. Either way you nodded your head, your cheeks rosy, you let him order while you spotted a nice table by the window. It was a habit, whenever you were at a café or restaurant you needed a table close enough to the window so from time to time you could observe the outside world.

You felt still high after the presentation of your canevas, butterflies erupting in your stomach as you thought back about your teacher's comments and your classmates enthusiasm. It had already made your day. But now that you were at a café with Hoseok, you felt delighted, ecstatic and the idea of spending some quality time alone with him made it only better.

"And here comes your Mocha." Hoseok put your drink on the table before sitting down.

"Thank you." You cursed yourself for stuttering. You shouldn't feel so damn nervous around him, after all you have been friends long enough but it was Hoseok and your little crush for him made things a tiny bit more difficult. But before you could think of something else to say, a song stopped you right in your track.

It was, obviously, normal for the café to play many hot trends, except instead of playing a recent hit, it was an old song that started playing. A song that had a particularly strong effect on you. Dripping tears by Son Dam Bi. You hadn't heard this song for a while but the moment you heard the first notes of the song, you recognized it straight away. You jerked in your seat, surprised at first and then you looked with curiosity at the waitress who only smiled in return.

The mix of the song and her smile made your heart pounding crazily in your chest.

*****

"Hey Soomin." You moved in her bed so you were laying on your side, head pressed in the palm of your hand, you watched her getting ready for her date with Jimin. You didn't really understand why Soomin so stubbornly insisted on needing your help and opinion, especially when Jimin loved her in whatever she decided to wear anyway. "I was wondering about the secret admirer."

"What about him?" She looked at you through the mirror as she was trying her fifth outfit of the afternoon.

Your confidence slowly wavered as you caught Soomin's knowing look, she grinned widely and for a moment you wondered if she already knew what you were about to ask. You straightened up on the bed and scowled at her with crossed arms.

"Maybe it's Namjoon." Soomin, this time, turned around to face you properly. "He has been awfully nice to you."

"He's nice to everyone." You protested

But Soomin had a point. Yes, Namjoon was incredibly friendly with almost the whole campus -not many could resist his dimples and his brain, but it was also true that he had been paying you a little more attention lately. But no matter how handsome and nice he was, you weren't thinking about him at all.

You grabbed a pillow and pressed it tightly against your chest, your legs crossed, you pouted. "Fine. It can be him."

"I know right? He has been giving you the puppy eyes for the past two weeks." Soomin seemed to have completely forgotten about her date and how she was supposed to get ready. "But you wanted to say something else, right?"

You bit your inner cheek, not so sure about your question. Soomin, on the other hand, smiled and squatted down before you, grabbing gently both of your hands.

"Come on. Tell me your thoughts. You know I'm just messing with you."

You knew she did.

"Do you think it can be Hobi?" Your cheeks flare up at your admission. There was no going back.

"Oh."

Soomin gave your hands a comforting squeeze.

"Do you think it's him or do you want it to be him?"

*****

There were days you wished you could just stay home, tucked in your bed with some shitty TV shows and definitely tons of absolutely unhealthy snacks just so you could forget all about the outside world. You wanted to loath in self-pity, far from your friends' eyes. Sadly, when those bad days came you had to spend them in class, surrounded by people you didn't want to see. Knowing all too well that nothing good would come out of this day.

Today happened to be worse than ever.

You started your day by not waking up before 10 a.m, no matter how hard your alarm rang or how many times Soomin called, you heard none of it. It resulted in you missing your first class which wasn't that bad. Except it didn't stop there.

Not only you arrived late in your next class but it had also completely slipped out of your mind that you had a test. That you obviously failed.

You thought it stopped there? It didn't.

After you had left your class, dejected, you barely managed to get out of the main building that the strap of your bag broke which resulted in your bag falling on the ground, some of your stuffs rolling of your bag. If from outside your face was blank as you stared at your bag on the floor, from inside you were screaming in frustration and despair.

When lunch came, you tried as hard as possible to get away from people just to avoid any possible chaos and danger for yourself. It worked for about ten minutes. You were so desperate to get back home while holding your bag in your arms that you forgot to pay attention on your surrounding which resulted in you bumping a guy who ended up spilling all of his coffee on your shirt.

"Shit! I'm sorry!" The guy apologized immediately. "Are you ok?"

You were not ok. It was the last straw, your sanity had left you for good.

"It's fine." You managed to say despite your voice being awfully low and shaky.

You were far from being fine but you needed to get out of there as far as possible before you would start crying in the middle of the campus. You gave the guy a reassuring smile before going your way. You had only one thing on your mind: the need to get home. For once you didn't care about classes, you didn't care if you had forgotten about any other tests -you would fail anyway, going home was the only acceptable option.

Desperate to get out of this place as soon as possible, you didn't notice how you passed by Hoseok without noticing him or how you didn't notice the huge rock on the ground. At least until your feet hit it and you stumbled. A silent scream escaped your mouth, you pictured already your totally ungraceful fall, except it never came thanks to a hand that grabbed your arm, tightly, before pulling you right into someone's arms. Despite your numb mind, you still managed to recognize Hoseok's scent that surrounded you.

"Careful pumpkin." He whispered, one hand still holding your arm while the other ran through your hair, soothing you as best as he could.

His presence should have brought a smile on your face or at least appeased you, but you were far too gone and before you could even start thinking about what to say, the first tears started rolling down your cheeks. There was no way you could hold back any longer so you let it go.

"Rough day huh?" Hoseok could count on the fingers of one hand how many times he witnessed your breakdown. You would never show it to people, too proud, too shy to bother others but he was glad that for once it happened in his presence so he could make you feel better. "It's gonna be ok, pumpkin." He wrapped his arms around your frail body, pulling you even closer to him, his head rested on top of yours as he rocked you gently, humming a melody. "It's just a bad day. You'll be fine. I'm here."

*****

Two whole weeks passed in a blink of an eye. Two weeks of pure torture which came in form of exams, endless projects presentations and many sleepless night. Two weeks without any news of your secret admirer. At first it didn't bother you that much, your mind was busy with the exams as well, but then, when you took a little break your mind wandered and you couldn't help but feel disappointed. No matter what you had told Soomin, you really hoped for the secret admirer to be Hoseok. Except he didn't give you any signs of being the one.

With a long and tired sigh, you rolled in your bed, pushing the books you had been studying for another exam. Two more days and you would finally be free. Two more days before you could forget about everything and sleep.

⎪Hobi

[8:30pm]

Are you still alive?

⎪Hobi

[8:30pm]

Because I'm sure as hell ready to die :( those exams are teeeerrrible

⎪You

[8:31pm]

I think my soul is about to leave my body.

⎪Hobi

[8:31pm]

That bad huh.

⎪Hobi

[8:32pm]

Then, what are your plans for after the exams?

⎪You

[8:32pm]

Sleep.

⎪Hobi

[8:32pm]

All the time?

⎪You

[8:33pm]

Yeah. I have 2 weeks of sleep to catch on.

⎪Hobi

[8:33pm]

Aww, poor pumpkin

⎪You

[8:33pm]

Yes, poor me :(

⎪Hobi

[8:34pm]

Then, does it mean, you won't want to see me? :(

⎪You

[8:34pm]

????

⎪Hobi

[8:35pm]

I wanted to ask you for a date.

You choked at his last message. For a second you wondered if it was someone else messaging you and not Hoseok but after a quick check, there was no doubt that those messages were from Hoseok.

⎪You

[8:40pm]

I would never say no to you Hobi. So when?

Two hours later and you still had no reply from Hoseok. It bothered you and it worried you. Was he busy? Did he forget to answer? Maybe he was just joking around? So many questions were running through your pretty head that none were answered in the end.

At least till two days later.

It was the final day, the day of liberation, of pure freedom. A day that your secret admirer had a comeback by leaving a pink envelope on your table. The moment you spotted it from the entrance, your whole body froze. Unable to breath, unable to move, unable to think, your mind was completely numb until someone pushed you lightly out of their way, making you stumble.

"Sorry." But you barely heard the apology as your eyes was glued to the baby pink envelope.

As you got to your place and with shaky hand you took the envelope. Inside there was a golden ticket for an amusement park. And just like many times a small note came with it, except this time it was handwritten. And handwriting that you were all too well familiar.

"Let's have this date tomorrow?"

Your heart missed a beat as the realization dwell on you.

No, it was not a coincidence.

No, it was not some kind of tricky game that your brain played on you.

Hoseok was the romantic, caring, secret admirer.

⎪You

[8:55am]

I'm more than ready for this date.

#bts scenario #hoseok #bts #j-hope #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts x reader #hoseok fanfic #hoseok fluff #hoseok fic #bts scenarios #bts reaction #heart like yours #vik

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garbagequeer · 5 years

Note

what are your favorite cshr songs?

i change my mind a lot and can’t make decisions so im just gonna go album by album picking my favorites because there’s A LOT of great songs (also these are in no particular order cause i really am a gemini who can’t make a simple choice). when im done with this i’ll bold the ones i guess are my overall favorites but i have too much room in my heart and brain and i love all of them and i can’t not mention all the great songs that i love. Also my overall favorites change all the time hence the full long ass list. again i AM a gemini

teens of denial:

drunk drivers obviously (and drunk drives single version with the modified verse from plane crash blues like. if you cant find your friends you can leave without them !! so much)

destroyed by hippie powers (which holds a special place in my heart cause i remember listening to it 24/7 and going to the bar with my friends during second term finals my first year of college instead of studying and then the year after that going to see csh also during second term finals and them playing it like. full circle baby)

not what i needed. i feel so empty trying to explain this!

1937 state park

unforgiving girl (also holds a special place in my heart cause im pretty sure it’s the song that got me into them after being like hey i should check out that car seat headrest band since like 2013 but never getting around to it)

the ballad of the costa concordia like. i love to die thank you

drugs with friends (also it feels 5 times more special to me since i saw them play it)

fill in the blank

literally i feel bad for not just putting every song from this album like i love them all they punch me in the face every time but. gotta move along.

how to leave town:

BEAST MONSTER THING (LOVE ISN’T LOVE ENOUGH) LIKE. WHAT? WHAT?? !!!!

i want you to know that im awake / i hope that you’re asleep. you know that quote from like. an article about greta gerwig and lady bird that’s like (wait i googled it):Every situation is pretext for a confrontation: underdone eggs, a pile of rumpled clothes, a hand reaching too quickly for the radio. The question on the surface might be ‘What did you do?’ but the feeling underneath is ‘Who are you and why don’t you know how to love me?’that’s this song

is this dust really from the titanic? mainly cause i think it’s underrated and very endearing like. car seat headrest: more guitar shit

hey space cadet. obviously like

wasn’t going to put more songs cause i think i need to relax but. the ending of dramamine deserves to be listed i mean i can’t hear a thing now i guess i belong to me now but when night fell on montana i found a rest stop completely deserted but i still felt the eyes upon me so i drove away. it BE like that

you know what? fuck it. america and kimochi warui are also favorites. they’re all so good im sorry i CANT do this

nervous young man:

first of all: i wanna sweat. it’s like. you CAN have the euphoric emotion of bodys outside of the fantasy. effervescent amazing uplifting etc etc

burning man. i will go crazy istg like he’s like im defined by the fact that you’re there and we’re different people… i wanna burn your picture! i mean…… yeah

plane crash blues i mean shut up with all these bad vibes all this yelling just shut up shut up shut up! like. to himself.. we get it. and if your luggage is lost you can leave without it and if you run out of drugs you can sleep without them and if you wanna go home you can call a taxi and if you don’t wanna talk you can sit in the backseat. much to think about

death at the movies. sometimes you’re a little depressed and you just. watch movies and it’s weird

boxing day. hand will toledo a womanhood card right now for this like yeah! i feel so haunted and no one seems to notice and no one seems to care!!!! and it doesn’t really matter I’ll just ajlhfsdg!!!. ALSO literally i did something bad im not allowed to go outside anymore i can only be awake at night for the next year of my life. been there done that and all. ALSO i have worms in mouse traps baby cracks me up every time

the gun song. there’s a lot going on there

afterglow and jerks cause i love to have fun too

monomania:

misheard lyrics and i don’t think it gets enough love

times to die and also the teens of style version

overexposed (enjoy). again i love fun

los borrachos (fun fact: i saw the painting it’s named after irl and i was like. sick csh reference museo del prado)

SOULS. !!!!

maud gone both versions. sweetheart please love me too long

sleeping with strangers. i love to have fun

anchorite (love you very much). i get my feelings hurt by someone i love i listen to this song like. YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! call it catharsis

and that’s literally the whole album except for one song. im sorry

twin fantasy (which is two albums but. it’s really just one which is very meta of it/them imo. also unless i specify im talking about both versions):

B O D Y S

famous prophets. both versions make me feel breathless

beach life-in-death OBVIOUSLY

twin fantasy (those boys) and i think both versions really mean so so much together which is true of all of twin fantasy but. particularly here it hits me like. from he has only lyrics now to these are only lyrics now. it’s a lot

my boy (more the 2018 version)

nervous young inhumans (the 2011 version. for the monologue like. he defined twin fantasy. also the fact that galvanistic isn’t a real word he just fucked up and that’s the chorus)

high to death (more the 2018 version but both are great)

honestly sober to death for the don’t worry you and me wont be alone no more which is. so much. ALSO when they play sober to death/powderfinger and ethan does great vocals

cute thing (2018)

my back is killing me baby

no passion. he wants a man who would hate him and who would leave him if he were open and he’d do the same to him. he dreams he watches porn but he cant see it. he understands some ugly ass feelings

father, flesh in rags. it bangs

strangers but the teens of style version

happy news for sadness cause once again he says the ugliest shit (i liked you better when you hated yourself every time i think about love i think about me thinking about you) and it makes me think of that shit about how people will disclose they think they’re bad and they have bad thoughts when they’re going to ask to be loved. also you can never tell the truth but you can tell something that sounds like it

the drum. did i say i love to have fun? i love to have fun (both versions but i think i like the original more at least rn)

stoop kid

something soon (both versions)

starving while living:

it’s only sex

reuse the cells

devil moon

i hate living

literally all other csh shit cause i don’t listen to many songs from the first records :/ and stuff:

i can talk with my eyes shut

the ghost of bob saget. the lyrics to this song are hilarious and relatable somehow

i have to mention i am afraid of literally everything / i scream social / this one time I went to a coffee house because some guy I knew was playing and I just sat there for an hour and didn’t talk to anyone and then I came home and wrote this song / you have to go to college / it’s you you’re the asshole that made this but literally only cause i felt like laughing when i was 18 and finally got around to checking out csh and he was like. i wrote these songs about when i went to college and i was afraid of everything and shit was hard. cause like. same. and i just have a fond memory of going through csh’s entire discography from newest to oldest and ending up awake till almost 7am losing my mind. i feel like this about lots of songs from the first 5 albums but i don’t really listen to them much tho. someday i’ll get around to giving them a chance again

that thing someone made where they put together pain star (if heaven is full of people…) and …then it will be exactly the same as earth

does it feel good (to say goodbye?)

and their cover of hey ya even though it’s not a csh song. im mad no one has posted a proper recording of it because i do love to have fun. also their cover of this must be the place too. and the cover of waves of fear also. they’re all really fun

#answered #csh #car seat headrest #im terrible at picking things as you can see #anonymous

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changji · 5 years

Note

Wow you really went off the other day but at least it was worth it 😪 I normally look at the scenery when I’m on a road trip, but then I get bored of it and decide to sleep bc there’s nothing else to do. Motion sickness must suck :(( do you take gravol or something to help with it? Coffee literally drains the life out of my funds it hurts me

Yes omg pls make me cookies I love them. Maybe you can even open a bakery with pastries and sell some good /cheap/ coffee. Ilyt my dear baker 🥺 ye I’m not the biggest fan of my bday either but gotta celebrate anyway!! One year closer to death woohoo 🎉🎉 your birthday is the most important day of the year!!! You can’t fight me on this I’m right

Pearls are so good. Like most places I go to don’t add anything to the pearls so it’s just bland squishy balls but the place I frequent adds I think honey to sweeten them. It gives the pearls life istg. It tastes so good 🤤 hollering is a funny word. For some reason I always associate it with yodelling which makes me laugh

Ksks you must be op if you can make a joke in the wall with a door slam. I can’t relate my arms are literally sticks and I have no strength in me. Chrome books are terrible in general. Add my schools terrible wifi and you get one big recipe for disaster. I’d never fight u either (unless it’s for your bday) ily too much for that 🥺🥺🥺

Hahah I think it’s me. I haven’t heard anyone say “go ham” except for the people who go to my school. I find it really funny tho so I try to incorporate it whenever I can LOL easily burnt? Can’t relate but apparently I easily tan. There’s this one diagonal stripe on my shoulder that separates pale me and tan me which ??? How did that happen and what was I wearing for that to happen??

It’s all fun and games until you go outside and see a mountain of snow waiting for you to be shovelled. But there are some good aspects to winter, like skating and skiing and all that fun stuff. Snow is so heavy?? Or maybe I’m just weak but after I finish shovelling I’m beat. Gardening is not my thing. There’s too many bugs involved flying around 🥴

Kind of? I always thought it was short for cappuccino but I could be wrong. They don’t taste like fraps tho, they’re sm better. I was always a frap hoe until I discovered lattes. My old elementary school was close to a Starbucks so whenever frappy hour was happening, my friends and I would go almost every day LOL

I heard that dunkin coffee is really good. Oof there’s so many things that the us have that Canada doesn’t. But apparently you guys don’t have ketchup chips?? How can one live without them? You know that’s what soulmates are, we’re stuck together forever and I don’t mind that. I’d never leave you 😌😌

YES OMG LATTES ARE SO EXPENSIVE. I pay around the same amount and my wallet cries every time. If you ever yeet yourself off a bridge I’d come visit u in hell and bring u iced coffee 💖 we really are soulmates wtf I get almond milk in my lattes as well!! I used to get normal milk and was like “I’m a bad bitch milk can’t hurt me” but that didn’t really work out. Sigh what we do for coffee 😔

Washing dishes is disgusting. I hate doing them but yk someone’s gotta do it and that someone is me 😤 I’m acc lazy when it comes to smoothies, I usually ask my mom to make them LMAO. Pancakes are pretty much made of flour if you think about it so technically when u eat one plain ur eating cooked flour,, how barbaric. Waffles are Built. Like. They have a 20 pack 😪😪

I love angst personally so pls go ham but not too ham I’d like to keep my heart. Honestly at this point my last brain cell has given up on me. But yes I love angst and I love torturing myself with heart wrenching angst that leaves me crying into my pillow at 3am (I’m talking about this one haikyuu fic that I forgot the name of. I was literally dying inside jalsjwo)

Pls do send me peet’s I’ll send you an iced capp in a cooler so it’ll be somewhat melted and probably spilt everywhere 🤪 tumblrs probably gonna block me again, I’m looking at how much I’ve typed rn and it’s a lot lmaoo. Yes I managed to save myself. I redid the whole last with less detail bc I was not Having It but it turned out better?? How is ur drawing now?

I start after labour day in September. But starting in 3 weeks?????? On a Thursday?? I could never wtf. When do you end? I’m so confused with these ap and honours thing, like there’s none offered in my school nor majority of the school district. Are they just advanced classes or something? It is 7 classes a semester or the whole year?

Stan talent i think you meant yourself??? Jsjsksk I am not only ur coffee soulmate I’m not #1 fan as well and I support u bc ily 🥺🥺 the read more tag had me laughing for a hot minute. Like we really could make an essay out of all of our replies. I don’t have any pets (besides fish does that count?) unfortunately bc my moms allergic to fur 🥺 hbu?? (I can’t believe tumblr blocked me again they can fight me)

i didn’t even pay LOL i freeloaded off my cousin 🤧 i like to look @ scenery sometimes but like i can’t bc my head hurts LOL and the scenery is always the same for me, mountains and fields with cows. i try to take dramamine but it makes me so drowsy that i’m just basically dead,,, i live off of my cousins money so i’m okay 🤪

tbh i use nestle toll house pre made cookie dough, like that shit actually slaps. it’s the best it’s so good omg, perfect for lazy hoes 🤧 death here we go ! the order is ur bday, then skz debut date, and then christmas i don’t make the rules sorry sis 😤

pearls are Dangerous, i once drank a smoothie and there were pearls in it and i couldn’t see them bc there were like. only 3 and they were Buried under the smoothie but i choked and almost died but i chewed one of them and it’s like. so weird. HOLLERING AND YODELING IM- i once went to some public yodeling class and left in 2 seconds bc it was a bunch of white boys dressed like the kid from walmart 😪

it’s not even strength i’m actually rly weak,, i always think the doors are closed but they’re not and so i like slam them open and the walls are thin so it’s just. a sad hole. terrible wifi,, my school has pretty good wifi tbh but we have like three connections, one for the chrome books only, one for the teachers & staff, and one for students and guests. like it works rly good but everyone has a VPN bc of stupid social media restrictions 😤 & ilyt 🥺 u would probably win in a fight tho LOL

go ham is so interesting. the first time i heard it i thought it meant go pig and i was so confused but ig,,, i live lathered in sun screen whenever i go somewhere with the sun. ppl are like “i smell sun screen” and im just there like 🙃 it’s me u got a problem u burnt chicken nugget ??? i wish i tanned easily, i have a tan friend and when i showed her when my legs got tan she was so confused. i thought i was tan tho? bc during marching band season my sock tan becomes So Bad i’m basically white. she said she was blinded when she saw me pull my sock down and i laughed so hard LOL & i hate those dumb random tan lines like. where u @ bro? where u come from??

snow is fun for like a day and then i get tired LOL i csn only handle wet socks and a red nose for so long 😔 i tried skiing one time and i did so bad that the instructor had to hold me down and walk with me down the slope. i fell so many times i think he hated me 😳 i’m also rly bad at skating? i went w my friends once and i held both of their hands and still managed to bring both of them down when i fell. a cute guy once helped me when i was struggling to walk so 🥴 not my brightest moment tbh,, trying to walk in skates while on ice. do u enjoy skiing/skating? also gardening is. gross. worms and dirt and the sun i’m not here for it.

u: cappuccinos! me: ...ice bergs,,, now that i think about it fraps kinda suck,,, i used to think i was So Cool for drinking starbucks but now i’m like. wow. i used to think there was coffee in a frap but it’s just. sugar and ice LOL also speaking of tmrw is bogo fraps here,, idk if it’s all over the world but myb u should check it out 😪

dunkins okay it depends on what you get, i once got an iced latte and it was good but my dad got an iced coffee and he like. hated it so we had to switch and it was so bad like. it was coffee crime. it was horrible and not strong it was basically milk 😤 also,, ketchup chip? i just googled what that was and. that’s literally so weird. fun fact i hate ketchup and all other condiments i can only eat bbq sauce and i tolerate steak sauce

UR LITERALLY SO CUTE OKAY UR MINE NOW HHHH

i mentioned this in the other ask but. we going broke bitches club 😪 when u come visit me it’ll be old town road the one w mason ramsey on a loop. nothing will top the og remix but no, i’ll be stuck listening to some 5 year old rap for all of eternity

I USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD KID AND DRINK MILK EVERY MORNING ever since i got to middle school i preferred sleep over waffles and milk and i hardly drink milk but when i do. my stomach does not have it.

my mom made me wash dishes today and she just stared at me when i put ziploc bags on my hands bc we didn’t have gloves but i just painted my nails and i’m not abt to put myself thru chipped nails. not yet 😤 waffles are so good like i love waffles and lattes only 🤧

well i’ll go very ham (am i doing it right LOL) 😤 the angst ending is a lot better than the open ended or happy ones LOL i’m so excited for it 🥺 i’m rly tryna get it out before the end of this month bc the edit says july and it’ll make me Mad if i don’t get it out before the end of this month

i wanna start in september 🤧 and i usually end in the first week of june. also on a wednesday LOL it’s gross. stupid. ap means advanced placement so it’s just. a college level class. lowkey mad bc i’m taking ap euro (as a sophomore 😒) and other schools take it in their senior years? apparently this is normal? and honors are just faster paced classes with more weighting so,, idrk oops 😬 some people take 7 classes in a semester but i took it for the whole year! this year i’m dropping orchestra i’m Not for that spit in the carpet life

the only talent in this house goes by ada and jisung. i don’t make the rules. i’m ur #1 fan 🥺 as soon as u post anything i automatically smash that rb button LOL also put a read more here bc like. we’re really out here writing a whole ass essay. i’ll look @ all our convos bet it’ll be like. a lot. i don’t wanna say smth and be off so i’ll just not. i have a dog! he’s the cutest in the world and i love him sm 🥺 tumblr can fight me first like. what’s this ask limit bull hhhhh

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wannawrite · 6 years

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limits

who?: Hotshot’s Yoonsan, Hojung genre: 🌸 type: drabble word count: 1.6K blog navigator. • Yoonsan seems to have caught feelings for you • the only person in the way is Hojung, your protective brother I’m so happy Hotshot is working now, even though they are all split up :”) I’m just extremely proud. Thank you for requesting @huis-totally-innocent-smirk, apologies for the late post and so sorry for only completing one. Played with the format a bit, I hope it’s still readable aha, imagine it’s from a third-party perspective, maybe even like a game. - Admin L

disclaimer: pictures used do not belong to me and credit goes to their original owners

2 February 2018 7.26pm CONVERSATION between YOONSAN and HOJUNG “You’re kidding,” Hojung scoffed, turning to look away from his best friend, eyes rolling. “Hyung, you can’t date my sister. No. She’s off limits.” Yoonsan’s lips curved into an irritated pout, he sighed and sprawled his form out on the dance room floor. “I just wanted to tell you. Help me put in a good word will ya?” Hojung rarely got mad at his rather quiet and bashful best friend, Yoonsan was not the kind of guy to lash out at other about petty problems he faced. He could be grumpy and a tad bit less understanding at times but that was all there was to his tantrums. However, this was a different story, this time he was actually contemplating starting a feud. “How could you even like her? You don’t even talk to her privately? All you do is get that 3 seconds of talk time whenever she brings me lunch or something. Please don’t call it love, please don’t break her heart like this. It isn’t genuine,” Hojung pointed out, his brain frantically analysing the situation, trying to find a loophole in Yoonsan’s confession. Yoonsan only knew you from those moments that lasted no longer than a minute, he couldn’t possibly be attached to a fleeting silhouette. Again, his friend shrugged it off casually, like he wasn’t being fiercely interrogated. Yoonsan avoided eye contact, shutting his eyes as if he was completely serene. “Maybe those 3 seconds was all she needed to steal my heart.”

31 December 2017 11.53pm TEXT MESSAGES between YOU and YOONSAN San: hey San: idw to come off as creepy or anything but I’m gonna try to forge better friendships with my acquaintances San: now, you’re only Hojung’s little sister but I hope we’ll be friends in the new year San: lol haven’t I known you since you were 8? HAHAHAHAHA 11.55pm You: oh gosh hi hdksijssb You: awww that’s so nice of you, it’s great to make more friends and OH GOSH YES YOU HAVE AND I WAS STILL SHY AROUND HOJUNG’S FRIENDS DHJSKSJDND IT WAS SO AWKWARD NO San: I still have pictures of all of us from that era, courtesy of Junhyuk hyung’s mum You:... You: WHAT NO You: NO NO NO NO NO DELETE THEM YOU UGLY You: DISGUSTING San: *PICTURE* San: *PICTURE* The sender has attached more than 10 files. Click here to open files. You: ARE THOSE PICTURES OF MY BRO You: GOOD TEA FOR FAMILY NEW YEAR’S REUNION HAHA THANKS San: is this how we’re bonding? San: nice to know, I have a meme folder just for Hojung You: SEND San: *PICTURE* The sender has reached attachment limit. Please wait for received files to finish loading before more can be received. 12am San: HAPPY NEW YEAR San: with this coming new year, I hope to only grow closer to my new friend and that we’ll make more enjoyable and happy memories together San: friendship? You: HAPPY NEW YEAR🎊🎉💓 You: awww :”) You: of course! We should hang out sometime lol idk if my bro will be 100% happy abt this tho San: aha why wouldn’t he be 12.02am You: I think you already know why

3 January 2018 1.42pm MEETING and CONVERSATION between YOONSAN and YOU She’s pretty, he thinks. Especially with that cold winter blush painted across her cheeks. He’s cute, you think. I think it’s adorable he has sweater paws in a turtleneck. Neither of you says that out loud, but they say someone’s genuine thoughts can be seen through their eyes. Eyes are like the mirrors of your soul. Instead, you clink tea cups and sip on hot chocolate, admiring the last few snowflakes dotting on the large window on your right. This cafe was your idea but the outing was San’s. He appeared awfully mismatched with the whole cheerful fairyland aesthetic but you found it even more attractive. It was not an awkward mismatch but a surprisingly pleasant one like purple and yellow. This isn’t a date, you reminded yourself, taking a cookie from the platter and putting it to your lips as your mind worked to come up with a conversation starter other than ‘what memes have you got of my bro,’. Just talk to him like he’s a friend. “What song’s are you working on right now?” you blurted out then wondered if it was too peculiar or personal of a question. San liked the fact that you took interest in his passion for music. Honestly, he could never hold a face-to-face conversation for long but talking about his music was a different story. He could go on about it for ages. Ugh, he’s so cute when he talks about his passion for music. Oh wow, the small smiles his lips pull into are really charming. Just a friend. Just a friend, Yoonsan. Pull yourself together and calm down. Isn’t this what you wanted? Girls can sense when you’re nervous around them. He’s the forbidden fruit. She’s my forbidden fruit. Both of you remained in Eden, drinking mugs of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows floating inside and biting into butter cookies, wishing all fruits were edible.

8 January 2018 8.18pm MEETING with YOU and HOTSHOT “Uhh San said he’s at Sungwoon’s house playing Fifa or something,” you replied to your parents’ question on where your older brother was. “Oh good,” your father commented. “I need to drop by their house to ask Sungwoon’s grandfather about the new fertiliser I bought. I was wondering if he had tested it yet. Want to get your brother back together?” If I go, I would see San for a bit...I MEAN, see my brother more and see Sungwoon and see Grandfather Ha. It isn’t all about San! “Uh, sure! Just let me...change!” The sentence had not been finished before your form disappeared up the staircase. The drive to Sungwoon’s place made you anticipated yet nervous for no apparent reason. After all, it was just your big brother and some of his close friends. Nothing else to it. For some reason, your hands shook as you closed the car door and walked into the house. “Go and get your brother.” Breathe. At first, San didn’t even look up from his phone when the door of Sungwoon’s bedroom opened but his head snapped up when he heard your melodious voice calling a greeting. A silly smile slipped onto his face as he bashfully waved back, trying not to garner Hojung’s attention. However, Hojung had already gotten a hunch on the interaction but he tried to brush it off. “Ahh, you know Dad won’t be leaving anytime soon. Join me, I’m winning anyway,” Hojung offered, holding up a game controller. He quickly went back to the game, yelling excitedly when you scored a goal against Taehyun and Sungwoon. San’s admiration for you only grew.

2 February 2018 11.28pm TEXT MESSAGES between HOJUNG and SUNGWOON Hojung: like what...do they think I’m blind or something...I get that this was bound to happen but idk how to feel Hojung: I know hyung is a good guy and all but I’m just unsure Hojung: am I being paranoid or mean? Sungwoon: Nah I don’t think so, you’re just looking out for your friends. It doesn’t hurt to be a nice guy like that Sungwoon: san is a nice guy and I’ll be honest and say I never saw it coming Sungwoon: I just need to know if it is genuine or if he’s just doing this for fun or something Hojung: I think they have been texting and meeting up privately bc she’s been quite shady and quiet about her ‘outings’ lately Hojung: idkkkk I’m just...kind of annoyed? Yet relieved that its hyung and not some creep Hojung: idw to lose any of my close friends bc of something like this you know? Sungwoon: I’d say maybe you should talk to them first! After all, it isn’t official right? They just have feelings but they haven’t said anything to each other Sungwoon: tbh it’s cute haha Sungwoon: I think they need to bond more before putting a label on anything. Feels that way. I don’t want anyone to make dumb mistakes with dating Hojung: I feel you. I think I just need time to absorb it. This feels like a pesky annoyance I can’t help it. I just want what is best for everyone Hojung: thanks, hyung, go and rest now. I’ll talk to them Sungwoon: sleep early as well, don’t stress about it 1.15am TEXT MESSAGES between HOJUNG and YOU Hojung: hey sis Hojung: hate to scare you and break it to you but I know about you and Yoonsan, he kind of told me personally today Hojung: don’t freak I know you guys aren’t dating but you can’t exactly hide anything from your big bro Hojung: ...honestly, I’m not sure how to react...knowing how close you both are to me. I’m glad to like a decent guy I suppose Hojung: talk to me about it okay? I just don’t want you to get hurt. Get to know each other a bit more. Hojung: good night, although you’re already sleeping. See you tomorrow 2.21am TEXT MESSAGES between HOJUNG and YOONSAN Hojung: hyung, sorry to text late but abt what you told me...I know how I feel about it Hojung: it’s so annoying Hojung: but I’m willing to accept it if you talk it out with me and her. You’re not a bad guy....hopefully. Please still be the same hyung I’ve known for most of my life. Hojung: I want you two to be real about it. No point dating if feelings are merely fabricated. I don’t need broken hearts and I can’t see my family get hurt, hear me? Hojung: ....just...talk to me and talk to her okay? See you tomorrow

#hotshot #hotshot scenarios #noh taehyun #choi junhyuk #kim moonkyu #yoonsan #ha sungwoon #go hojung

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britishchick09 · 3 years

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sherlock ep 2 the blind banker livewatch

we’re returning to baker street for another livewatch! i only saw half of this ep before yeeting sherlock away, so this is a neat mix of re-watch and new-watch :D

ooh pretty flute playing :)

the tea lady has a british and asian accent at the same time how cool :D

the guy talking to her almost looks like a young sherlock!

guy: “do you want to have a drink? not tea, obviously...” lol

oof the lady rejected him with a ‘please stop asking’ POLITE BUT STINGING

uh oh something ominous is going on...

lady: is there security?” obviously not since you’re hearing ominous things!

this isn’t gonna end well...

ooh where she is almost looks like she’s in the tunnels from the sherlock netflix pic!

the intro is so dramatic :D

WHEEL!!!

yo are john and sherlock at the grocery store

JOHN AT THE STORE HOW DOMESTIC!!! (hello fellow isfj!)

yo why is sherlock fencing

lol what a contrast :D

john’s card isn’t authorized is he my dad lol :D

HE JUST WALKS AWAY

aww sherlock straightens his suit after murdering a mannequin ;)

eyyy the guy in the ad’s name is john ;) (they ‘moved around a lot’ and chose az why)

sherlock wants john to take his card aww :)

john: “why don’t you go out and do it?” yeah LOCKIE GO OUT YOURSELF SOMETIME

oh no vietnam flashback :o

what book is sherlock reading ‘ADVENTURE OF THE DANCING MEN’ OR ‘VALLEY OF FEAR’ PERHAPS???

wait do the sherlock books exist in this universe?

YO SHERLOCK WAS ON JOHN’S COMPUTER!!

and he guessed the password oh sherlock :D

there’s a cop car outside HMMM is that a redrum i hear??

sherlock: “i need to go to the bank” for john’s money problem OR THE REDRUMM!!!!!

wow it sure is cloudy

IN THE NEXT SHOT IT’S SUNNY WHY

cool revolving door :D

what’s sherlock cooking in that brain of his

yo some guy just came outta nowhere after sherlock introduced himself to the bank teller :o

sherlock: “this is john watson, my friend” OMG FRIEND!!!! :D

john: “colleague.” boiiiii

the sebastian guy just nods and says ‘right’ HE KNOWS!!!

wowza he flew around the world twice in a year coolio :D

he’s making fun of sherlock’s observations DON’T DO THAT AND CALL IT A ‘TRICK’ IT’S HIS THING

ooh the portrait with the yellow line on the eyes is one of the show runners i think :D

sebastian: “there’s a hole in our security” UGH WHY

wait was the tea lady at a museum or the bank?? or does london just have shoddy security

HELLO SHOW RUNNER GUY :D

woah clues floating around lockie :o

and the music fem the beginning is playing hmmm

YO IS SHERLOCK ON THE ROOF GET DOWN BUDDY!!

ha ha he popped up on the screen :D

everyone’s like ‘what are you doing?’

did he just take a directory sign???

HOLD UP two trips around the world in a month??? :o

john and sherlock are elevator pals :D

sherlock says ‘TAXI!’ and disappears when the taxi rushes by how cool :D

sherlock: “just moved in. he has a new label.” john: “he could’ve replaced it.” sherlock: “nobody ever does that”

OMG THIS SWEET VOICE SHERLOCK’S PULLING OMG :D

his smile!!! :D

sherlock: “i just locked my keys in my flat! could i come on? ...oh and can i use your balcony?” lady: “...what?” lol same :D

i thought i saw half of this ep yet i only remember the bank part SO I ONLY SAW 12 MINUTES OF IT! :o this is truly a new-watch!

the guy in the apartment has a lot of books!

why didn’t john follow sherlock in the room? maybe sherlock needed 'SOME ROOM’

john: “sherlock! are you okay?” awww :)

YO DID SHERLOCK JUST BUST THE DOOR OPEN???

aaand there’s a dead guy! fun! :D

sherlock: “maybe they wanted to communicate without using email” what a 21st century thought

sherlock: “you follow?” john: “nnnnope!” lol :D

sherlock just called a guy ‘sargent’ IS HE SGT. PEPPER???

sgt not pepper: “don’t tamper with the evidence” yeah sherlock WEAR GLOVES NEXT TIME DUH!!!!!

lestrade is busy so this guy’s barging in! and he’s DETECTIVE inspector woahhhh

detective inspector dimmock more like detective inspector BISH

lol sherlock moved around while saying ‘caused a bit of contortion’

detective bish: “what are the chances of that?” ugh he sounds so stupidly mean!

oof sherlock telling sebastian about the murder while he’s having dinner? that food’s not gonna go down well with that sadness...

sherlock: “will scotland yard suit?” OHHHH THAT’S A BOOK REFERENCE!!!!

sebastian’s at the sink ARE THEY TALKING IN THE RESTROOM YO???

it’s echoey like a bathroom IS IT THO???

is sebastian’s boss detective bish

john called them ‘heartless bastards’ YES EXACTLY!

also they are in a bathroom gross :(

some guy’s running with serious shaky cam!

NOOOO NOT THE AD!!!!!!!

the lady in the ad said ‘save me some cheddar!’ is that money slang?

NO MR. RUNNING GUY!!

the lady is soo lin cool she’s korean! :D

ooh is this a london chinatown?

does she really need to live in a chinatown tho

is john applying for another job?

john: “mundane works.” except with sherlock! :D

john played the clarinet in school HIM AND SHERLOCK SHOULD START A BAND!!! :D is a violin and clarinet a band?

sherlock: “can you pass me a pen?” john: “when did you need one?” sherlock: “about an hour ago” lol :D

the website on the laptop is ‘online news’ lol :D

ooh revolving sign!

the guy murdered was a freelance writer is it tied to the banker thing?

detective bish: “you’re serious? like spiderman?” or spiderpig ;)

sherlock and john ran up the escalator what a hurry!

THERE’S MORE CODE IN THE LIBRARY SHELF OMGGG :o :o :o

john: “why did they die, sherlock?” sherlock: “only the cipher can tell us” ooh trailer moment! :D

hey bus! :D

sherlock: “ciphers are all around us john” woah :o

they’re going to an art museum for advice cool :D

the ‘expert’ is a graffiti artist banksy who

he just throws his paint can at john lol :D

woah is sherlock’s phone a blackberry with a touchscreen???? truly 2010!

cop: “OY!!!” oh how british! :D

OH CRAP RUN LADS!!!!!

SHERLOCK AND BANKSY JUST LET JOHN BEHIND BOIIIIIS!!!!!!!!!

plz don’t arrest john

andy: “she came to this country on her own!” ooh cool :D

sherlock: “you’ve been a while” john: “well, you know how it is” did he get arrested for that lol???

JOHN’S GOING TO COURT?????

sherlock just says ‘good, fine.’ wow lockie

john just gave a little ‘oy!’ as sherlock shoved him out of the flat how british!

cute sunset peeking out! ♥

detective bish just called sherlock ‘an arrogant sort’ YO DON’T YOU CALL LOCKIE THAT!!!

lady: "the only things he bought had big price tags” sherlock: “like that hand cream he bought you?” lady: *shoves those receipts underneath the others* lol :D

the lady just said ‘west end’ are they in new york lol :D

sherlock just said ‘piccadilly’ THAT’S A LONDON REFERENCE! :D

we’re back in chinatown with music that feels stereotypical!

lady: “you want lucky cat?” this feels even more stereotypical why :(

lady: “i think your wife, she will like!” idk if john’s wife will like it... ;)

john just mutters a bit lol :D

OMG THE CIPHER IS ON THE TEAPOTS!!!!!

it’s called ‘hang zhu’ and it’s chinese i wonder if ivy from ag knows it! :D (it would’ve been great in ‘puzzie of the paper daughter’)

john and sherlock are at a restaurant but it’s not queerbaiting awkward this time yay! :D

we just have the stereotyping awkward to deal with this time...

the guys who were murdered returned from china cool :D

sherlock: “when was the last time it rained?” ooh clue! :o

they just leave their food behind ll :D

YELLOW PAGES WAZZUPPP!!!!!

it’s been there since monday and i think it was stated earlier that it’s thursday awww poor yellow pages :(

sherlock just jumped and pulled the ladder down how cool! :D

someone knocked over a vase just like sherlock just did oohhhhh

john: “you think you can let me in this time?” lol :D

john: “can you not keep doing this, please?” ha ha lol :D

why is sherlock not letting john in

the shoes in the apartment are size 8 that’s 9 in us cool :D

sherlock: “stupid stupid obvious... he’s still here” DUN DUN DUNN!!!!!!

YO IS SOMEONE CHOCKING SHERLOCK WHAT THE FRICK

john: “any time you want to include me...” NO YOU DON’T WANT TO BE INCLUDED IN THIS BUDDY

john: “i’m sherlock holmes and i work alone because no one can compete with my massive intellect” lol sick burn! :D

too bad he had to say that AS SHERLOCK IS POSSIBLY DYING

OH CRAP SHERLOCK JUST DIED

jk he survived somehow

and he’s totally fine after that

john: “you’ve gone all croaky are you getting a cold?” lol it’s not that exactly...

hmm maybe the soo lady is actually the chinese name of su thus connecting her to the other murders and THUS the murderer potentially doesn’t like chinese people or people coming from china thus... possibly racist?

what if it’s detective bish HE’S ALREADY SUCH A JERK so him being racist wouldn’t be surprising in the least

any time the lady or china is mentioned that music plays WHY

teen in the background: “DAANG that was rad” DAAANG THAT WAS FLIPPING HILARIOUS OMG :D

john has a lot of cool transition scenes :D

OMG what if the graffiti guy

sherlock just grabbed john’s face and told him to close his eyes to remember AND JOHN’S VOICE KEEPS CRACKING :D

also the johnlock shippers probably went WILD with that one

su lin yao is her name and that’s a real doctor in new jersey cool! :D

how will the chinese things and bank connect i wonder?

there’s more of that music again...

did sherlock just say ‘fancy a biscuit?’

oh no someone’s coming for su lin! :o

she met the mystery guy when she was a girl in china maybe it’s not detective bish after all?

ooh sherlock knows ancient crime stuff :D

su lin was a smuggler as a teen wowza! :o

they’re called ‘black lotus’ is that stereotypical?

on wikipedia i found out that subservient ‘lotus blossom babies’ are a stereotype and that sounds a lot like the black lotus thing...

poor su lin! :(

YO THE MYSTERY GUY IS HER BROTHER???? :o

oh no THE LIGHTS TURNED OFF!!!!!!

NO SHERLOCK DON’T RUN WITHOUT SU LIN!!!!

OH CRAP GUN SHOTS!!!!

DON’T LEAVE SU LIN ALONE JOHN!!!!

sherlock to the shooting guy: “be careful! some of those are over two thousand years old HAVE A BIT OF RESPECT!” lol and YEAH SHOW SOME RESPECT GUY!!!

it’s quiet he’s respecting

EXCUSE ME WHY DID THAT GUN GO OFF

john said ‘oh my god’ this isn’t good!

HOLY FRICK WAS THAT SU LIN????

NO IT WAS HER!!!!!

rip su lin 1980-2010 probably :(

sherlock: “digesting slows me down” that’s so sherlock! (and it explains why he doesn’t eat in restaurant scenes)

sherlock: “we’re just interested in seeing the feet” don’t let dan schneider hear you...

MRS HUDSON HI!!!! :D

she thinks the books are for charity awww :)

the code is in the books cool!

sebastian: “anything i can do to assist you?” sherlock: “some silence right now would be marvelous!” lol :D

when sherlock said ‘cigarette’ i intantly thought of that nicotine ad with the shark on the guy’s arm lol :D

onto part 2!

the book code is time consuming yet really cool! :D

wowza have they been on it all night?

awww he’s sleeping on the job how cute! :)

john: “i thought i had more patients to see” lady: “i did one or two. ...or five or six.” lol :D

sherlock’s still hard at work and not tired what a guy!

sherlock: “we’re going out tonight” john: “and i’m going out on a date” sherlock: “what?” john: “it’s where two people who like each other go out and have fun?” sherlock: “that’s what i was suggesting” JOHNLOCK SHIPPERS GO SQUEEEEE

john just said ‘i hope not’ BOI

sherlock said the cinema is ‘dull boring and predictable’ lol :D

john doesn’t want dating advice from sherlock yet he does on the circus date he suggested ;)

lady: “they’re probably from china!” ooohhhh ties in with the case!!!!

JOHN RESERVED TICKETS UNDER HOLMES

AND SHERLOCK GOT A TICKET FOR HIMSELF!!!

this is gonna have ‘george harrison and pattie boyd go on a date with eppy accompanying them’ vibes huh

sherlock doesn’t care about the romance he’s so aromantic (maybe even asexual) and i’m here for it :D

john; “i can’t find a killer while i’m... trying to get off with sarah!” *sees sarah* “eyyyy you ready?” lol :D

they’re in a fancy place and john says it’s clearly not a circus WHAT DID YOU DO SHERLOCK???

woah is this a chinese thing? it’s cool and connects to the case!

this music is traditional yet sounds stereotypical :(

john looked at sherlock like ‘?’ but oh lockie knows ;)

woah they’re locking a warrior up hmmm...

aww sarah was startled by the cymbal! :D

sherlock is explaining the act before it happens PLZ SHERLOCK LET US WATCH WITH UNKNOWING

come on warrior YOU CAN GET FREE!

OMG HE DID!! :D

wait where did sherlock go?

the deadly chinese bird spider what :o

john to sarah: “did you see that?” i think we all did john ;)

OMG SHERLOCK FOUND A GRAFFITI CAN BACKSTAGE!!!

and now he’s being attacked IS THE BROTHER IN THE SHOW TO KILL THE ACTORS????

ooh this is why sherlock took fencing in the beginning!

man the bro is good :D

YOU GO JOHN GET HIM!!!!

SARAH TOO!!!!!!

maybe the things the guys stole is being used in the show!

ugh stupid detective bish doesn’t want a bill for overtime HE NEEDS A BILL FOR BEING A JERK >:(

sarah said ‘is anyone else starving?’ and john said ‘oh god...’ PLZ NO SARAH

sarah: “what are these squiggles?” sherlock: “ancient chinese numbers” sarah: “oh right i should’ve known that” sarcastic much?

MRS HUDSON SAVES THE DAY WITH HER SNACKS!! :D

and john called her a saint ^_^

su lin began to translate the code awwww! :D

sherlock knocked something out of a guy’s hand while calling for a taxi lol :D

yo is he with german guys

why did the scene suddenly cut to john and sarah didn’t they follow sherlock?

yo there’s treasure involved?

THE GUY ASKING FOR IT JUST KNOCKED JOHN UNCONSCIOUS WTF

one of the code phrases is ‘dragon den’ siiiiigggghhhhh

OH CRAP THE GRAFFITI IS ON THE APARTMENT WALL!!!!!!!

did they take john to the tunnels?

is the lady the main one from the show?

she’s questioning the debit card and tickets being sold in sherlock’s name and because of the ‘massive intellect’ joke they think john is sherlock WOAHHH!!!!

OMG THE LADY IS SHAN!!! :o

YO SHE HAS A GUN??

OMG OMG OMG IS THAT SU LIN????

DID THEY TIE HER UP???

shan keeps thinking john is sherlock

man this is a movie villain thing huh

she’s presenting it like this is a show

john: “I’M NOT SHERLOCK HOLMES!!!” shan: “i don’t believe you!” sherlock: “you should, you know!” YAY LOCKIE’S HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!!! :D

sherlock: “how would you describe me, john? resourceful? dynamic? enigmatic?” john: “late?” OHHHH!!! lol :D

he doesn’t want her to shoot because of bullet physics YET SHE SHOOTS ANYWAYS

OMG the brother died by bullet physics YAS!!!! :D

aww sherlock’s comforting su lin! ♥

john: “don’t worry, the next day won’t be like this” good today was crazy! :o

the pan shot of them in the apartment is cool :D

wait IS SHERLOCK DRINKING OUT OF A SOLO CUP

jk it’s a mug BUT IT LOOKS LIKE A SOLO CUP

awww that hand cream was a present to say sorry :)

why is sebastian surprised that sherlock was on the balcony THIS IS SHERLOCK HOLMES WE’RE TALKING ABOUT

aww sarah is so surprised of the treasure’s worth and she’s like “OH MY GOD!!! :o” and sherlock’s just like

he’s laughing awww!!!! :D

wait is shan messaging mycroft or moiarty or whoever the bad guy is?

YO SHE WAS LAZER SHOT!!!

and that’s the end!

...wait THAT’S the end????? :o

i wish i had stuck around past 12 minutes in 2017 because this was such an exciting and captivating ep! (despite the cringeworthy stereotypes) i can’t wait to see how s1 ends :D

#livewatch #sherlock is at it again with the great eps! :D

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zoemurph · 6 years

Text

to have a friend, chapter four: $80

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3

fun fact i actually finished this like.....tuesday at 4 am cause i died for a bit between like 10-1 and then couldnt sleep. i have edited it since then tho so i promise its not too much of a disaster!

warnings: implied past self harm, discussions of mental health, depression/depressive episodes, some suicidal thoughts. let me know if anything else needs to be tagged

enjoy!

From: Evan To: Connor Just go t home Hope things ar eok with yoru family

Connor stares at the texts for a few moments before he falls back onto his bed.

Who knows how his family is.

Actually, he knows. A fucking mess. That’s what his family is.

He can hear Zoe practicing in the room next to him, forgoing headphones and using her amp because she wants to piss him off more. Larry had slunk back to his office, and Connor was sure he did as soon as the opportunity presented itself. His mom is in the kitchen, probably aggressively cleaning dishes like a sparkling plate will fix her shattered family.

Connor stares at the ceiling.

Why did he think he could do any of this?

He lifts his phone and looks at the screen again. Evan is trying. Which is just ridiculous. Evan is trying with this family. What the fuck.

From: Connor To: Evan cool they never are but thanks i guess

He tosses his phone to the side and debates doing homework. There’s not really much of a debate — he’s not going to do it — but the fact that he considered it is probably worth something.

It’s not that late yet, which is frustrating. He wants to go to bed, but he’s also too high strung for that. Usually he’d be exhausted but—

Connor studies his ceiling.

He’d been angry. So angry. Burning and explosive. He had been on the edge of his rope and about to break— and then he’d been doused in a shock of cold water. He’d been standing outside the bathroom, insides blistering and turning to ash, and then he’d heard Evan’s unnatural breathing and all of that had just stopped. The fire was gone and he was left with only mild panic that made his mouth taste like metal and an icy chill of not knowing what to do or how to help.

Somehow, sitting on the floor of him and Zoe’s painfully childish bathroom with Evan had been the most real part of the night. It felt the most solid, most tangible. Handing Evan one of those silly cups his mom kept buying, their fingers brushing as Evan took it with shaking hands, that was the most grounded he had felt in days.

Fucking weird.

There’s a knock on his doorframe.

Connor sits up to see Cynthia standing there. “Oh. Hi.”

She smiles, sadly because that’s the only way she smiles nowadays, and takes a step into his room. “Did Evan leave?”

“Uh…yeah. It’s not like he could hide in my closet or anything.” They both look toward the disaster that is Connor’s closet. The doors won’t shut and clothes are piled up on the floor. There was a time where Connor liked things to be neat and orderly. Now he doesn’t have the energy. “He wasn’t feeling great.”

She makes a concerned noise.

“He, uh, gets sick really easily. He’ll probably be fine tomorrow.” Connor curses in his head. Better jot that down so he can tell Evan that Cynthia now thinks that his immune system is shitty. Because she’s probably going to shove all sorts of vitamins and health drinks at him the next time she sees him. If there’s a next time.

God there better not be a next time.

Cynthia sighs. “I’m sorry about tonight, sweetie.”

Connor shrugs and swings his legs off the side of the bed. “It’s not like it was going to be any different than usual.”

The expression on her face is so pained that Connor has to look away. He can’t even be mad at her. He’s pissed at Zoe for her snippy comments. He’s mad at Larry because he’s always mad at Larry. He’s upset with his mom— the most he can be upset with her for is for not trying harder to stop things from getting out of hand. But when has she ever been able to stop it once it started?

Mostly Connor is just mad at himself.

The only reason Evan was here was because he gets paid twenty dollars a week. It’s not like he has any other obligation to be here. Or to hang around Connor. If there was ever a chance that Evan would actually like Connor, that just went out the fucking window.

“Are you hungry?” Cynthia asks, softly. Not as forced as usual. Not as pressing. “You didn’t eat much.”

“I’m fine,” Connor mutters. He tugs off his sweatshirt and throws it on his desk chair. He tries not to notice her eyes going to his arms and then flicking away. “I’ll grab something if I can’t sleep.”

She sighs again. She does that a lot. Sighing. “Okay. Okay, just…” She steps forward and brushes hair away from Connor’s eyes. “Apologize to Evan for us, okay?”

“Why?” Connor asks bitterly. “Because we can be better?”

Cynthia doesn’t say anything. She just stands on her toes and presses a kiss to Connor’s cheek. “Sleep well, honey.”

Connor stands in the center of his room after she leaves. He hates not having a door. It’s like his entire life is out in the open for his entire family to see and judge. Which is some bullshit.

He looks around his room, open and exposed, and thinks that he should clean. Or something. He’s living in a dump.

Connor picks up a sweatshirt and stuffs a few books onto an overflowing bookshelf. Under papers from junior year that he just needs to throw out when he gets the chance, he finds a watercolor sketchbook.

He pauses with four old plastic water bottles in arm to flip through the sketchbook. It’s old as hell, he doesn’t even remember the last time he used watercolors. Or did any art that wasn’t just shitty sketches in his notebook when he didn’t feel like paying attention.

He looks over his shoulder at the light in the hallway.

Connor isn’t entirely sure where his watercolors are. Probably somewhere under the trash and clothing covering his floor. He looks from the watercolor sketchbook to his bed.

He dumps the water bottles in the space between his wall and his bed and starts digging. It takes him almost twenty five minutes to find his watercolor palette. It’s old and dusty, the red is cracked and the purple is almost gone because he always really liked using purple for some reason, but it’s usable.

It takes him a little longer to find brushes. He’s definitely missing some, but fuck it, he never actually knew what the different brushes were for. He just used whatever ones he felt like.

He washes out an old mug that was on his desk from god knows when in the bathroom and fills it with clean water, grabbing a roll of paper towels from the hallway closet. Then he pushes the clothes on his floor into a pile against the wall so he can sit on the floor, because there is no way in hell that he’s cleaning off his desk for this. He fishes his earbuds out of his backpack and plugs them into his phone, turning on some random music that he’ll let fade to into background noise and pulls his hair up into a really messy ponytail.

Connor can’t remember the last time he actually paid attention to art. He doodles a sketch that’s kind of messy but fine enough because it’s not like anyone is going to see this and then just goes for it. He doesn’t exactly remember how to do this, but he’s never been one for doing things the right way. There’s a reason he stopped taking art classes after freshman year. There’s something weirdly calming about the way the water spreads on the page and something familiar in the brushstrokes. Even when he fucks up and uses way too much water and he knows that the paper is going to be wavy and warped.

He puts down the paintbrush to skip a song on his phone. He has another text from Evan.

From: Evan To: Connor Im sorr y YOu should nt feel that way abou tyour family

Connor rolls his eyes. Evan really does try.

From: Connor To: Evan its whatever, im used to it mom says sorry about tonight. shes embarrassed but seriously dont worry about it

He skips through the songs until he finds one that feels right, slower and almost more gentle, he really needs to pick up better watercolors because he’s going to need that purple, before putting his phone back down on the floor next to him.

All things considered, this isn’t the worst piece Connor’s ever done. He studies it as he takes a sip from his mug.

He yanks the mug away from his mouth, gagging. He rubs his mouth with a grimace.

That was paint water.

Connor doesn’t really leave his room much over the next two days. He eats because his mom wants him to, he doesn’t talk to Zoe, and he argues with Larry and wishes he had a door to slam.

Then he sits on his floor and fills pages and pages of his sketchbook with shitty watercolor paintings.

He splashes colors across the pages, sometimes not even trying to create a coherent image. He just needs something to do.

He’s almost out of purple.

Connor waits by Evan’s locker Monday morning, folding and unfolding the twenty dollar bill in his pocket. Zoe needed to be early today for some band thing, so that means Connor is early which just sucks.

This school seriously needs a color palette that isn’t drab and depressing. Connor wears almost exclusively black, but fuck, tone down the gray.

“Oh! Hey, you’re…already here.”

Connor looks up from his phone. “Zoe,” he says. “Band shit. Fuck if I know.”

Evan nods slowly and then reaches for his lock.

“Wait.” Connor grabs Evan’s wrist.

Evan freezes, wide eyes darting to Connor. “W-what?”

Connor leans a little closer. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he whispers. Evan furrows his eyebrows. “My family is the fucking worst, you shouldn’t have to deal with that shit.”

“I-it’s fine!” Evan stutters. “I don’t— no this is. This is okay.” He slowly pulls his arm out of Connor’s grip.

Connor clenches his jaw and leans against the next locker. Evan doesn’t say anything as he opens his locker and starts taking out books. An unfairly loud part of Connor’s brain wonders if Evan is only doing this because he’s scared.

It’s not that far fetched.

“B-besides,” Evan adds, “Jared is— he’s already asking too many questions and if we just stopped now—”

Connor frowns. “He is?”

Evan gives him an exasperated look. “He hasn’t texted me about non homework things in forever and he’s just been sending me ‘is it a sex thing’ for a week.”

“Wow I hate him,” Connor says before he can stop himself.

Evan laughs in surprise.

“He’s a douche!”

Evan ducks his head. “He’s not the worst person ever, b-but he can be…himself.”

“And that’s pretty bad,” Connor mutters.

Evan pauses and then closes his locker. “Do— are you still okay with…with telling him?”

Connor shrugs. “Sounds like we have no choice.”

Evan tugs on the hem of his shirt. “Are you…free today?”

“I literally have no life or friends, Hansen,” Connor reminds him. “I’m always free.”

“Okay, right, okay.” Evan takes a short breath. “Can we— today?”

Connor stuffs his hands in his pockets. He hasn’t gotten harassed by Kleinman about this yet, but if they wait, the chances of that happening increase significantly. And if it’ll get Jared off Evan’s back— “Yeah sure. Where?”

“My place?” Evan asks. Connor pulls open the door to the stairwell. “I-if that works?”

“Sure thing.” Connor’s voice echoes uncomfortably loud for this conversation. “Better than being at home anyway.”

Evan glances back over his shoulder at Connor. “Are things…bad?” He says it slowly, like he’s not sure what word to choose.

“They’ve been worse,” Connor admits. “But it’s not a party.”

Evan stops at the stairs where Connor has to keep going down to get to chorus. “I’ll— I’ll text you? About the time?”

Connor nods. “Sounds good, Hansen. See you then.” He steps forward and hands Evan the twenty that has been floating around in his pocket for too long. “Forgot to pay you back for food last week,” he says when Evan’s eyes dart toward people walking past.

Evan gives him a half smile and takes the bill. “I-I told you it was fine. I can pay sometimes.”

Connor shrugs and turns toward the stairs. “Too late.”

—«·»—

From: Evan To: Connor Im s o s rry just ignore him or block him he grabbed my phon e Serious ly blockign him mihgt be the best opti n

From: Connor To: Evan ??????

Connor probably shouldn’t be texting in class, but the class is astronomy and also when has Connor ever given a fuck. He stares at Evan’s messages, trying to decode them while he waits for the lunch bell.

It turns out he doesn’t have to wait that long to figure out what they mean.

From: (522) 101-5414 To: nerd, emo sup fuckers

Connor doesn’t even have to ask who it is, he just tries not to groan and texts Evan.

From: Connor To: Evan seriously??

From: Evan To: Connor Im sorry !!! Hes being a d ick Also does like 3 work?

Connor huffs and glances to the clock. That’ll give him about an hour to kill after school before he can show up at Evan’s. Whatever, he’ll figure something out.

From: Connor To: Evan thats fine tell kleinman if hes being a dick i will hurt him

Evan’s response is almost immediate.

From: Evan To: Connor I wouldnt blame you but ma y be dotn hurt the one pe rson whos gonna knw about us

Connor snorts and puts away his phone. He’ll do his best, but only because Evan asked.

—«·»—

Connor texts Evan as he walks up to the house. The door is open before he can even knock. Evan looks slightly panicked, but also somewhat relieved. Connor lowers his hand from where he was about to knock.

“He here?”

Evan nods and grabs Connor’s sleeve, tugging him inside.

Connor takes off his boots while Evan rambles on about Jared being in his room and talking about something, summer camp? Maybe? And then there’s a tangent about cars? Connor isn’t sure but he puts down his boots, straightens, and puts a hand on Evan’s shoulder. “Breathe,” he interrupts. “You’re going to pass out and you really don’t want to leave Kleinman and I alone together.”

Evan takes a slow breath. “Right. Right. He’s… Come on.”

He shows Connor up the stairs, gesturing vaguely to a bathroom as he moves toward his room. Connor didn’t really notice how small Evan’s house is the last time he was here, but now he feels too large in it, like he’s taking up too much space. But it’s also comforting in a weird way, less empty space for thoughts to echo.

Jared spins around in Evan’s desk chair when Evan opens the door. “Man of the hour!” Jared announces, opening his arms in Connor’s direction.

Connor flips him off.

“Okay, rude. I can work with rude.”

“Jared,” Evan says warningly.

“I know, I know.” Jared spins back and forth a little in the chair. For some reason, Connor thinks giving him a chair that turns may have been a bad idea. “If I’m an ass you won’t give me pizza.”

Connor scoffs. “You bribed him?”

Evan shrugs helplessly. “I just— can we not talk about this?”

“Yeah,” Jared agrees. “I was promised juicy deets on whatever the fuck this is.” He motions between Connor and Evan. “Cause uh,” he laughs, “guys, what the shit?”

“We aren’t friends,” Connor says flatly.

Evan twists the hem of his shirt in his hands.

“Yeah no shit, Sherlock.” Jared grabs the arms of the chair and leans forward. “Wait this is a sex thing, isn’t it! Evan you said—”

“It’s not a sex thing!” Evan shouts. “It’s a—” He looks to Connor with wide eyes. “A…fake friend…thing?”

“Excuse me?”

Connor explains before Evan can flounder any more. “I give Evan twenty bucks a week to pretend to be my friend.”

Jared stares at them.

Evan shifts uncomfortably next to Connor. Connor kind of wants to leave, but Evan wants to do this, so…

Jared snorts. “Are you fucking serious?”

Evan cringes. “Y-yes?”

“This is—”

“We know, Kleinman,” Connor snaps. “But we need your help.”

Evan looks at Connor in surprise. ‘We do?’ he mouths to Connor. Connor nods. Spur of the moment thought, but he literally can’t keep dealing with Zoe bugging him about Evan. Who gives a shit if they never hung out together around school, even if that is a lie. He needs some sort of proof so she shuts up.

Jared spins slowly in his chair. “How so?”

“Evan said we emailed each other,” Connor says. “But my dad checks my email. So this email account would have to be ‘secret’.”

Jared raises his eyebrows. “That’s—”

“We know, Jared!” Evan interrupts. “C-can you just—” He glances toward Connor. “We need…emails from over the summer?” Connor nods. “Can you just, like, show me how to fake the timestamps o-or something?”

“Oh yeah, that’s super easy,” Jared says. He leans down and unzips the backpack leaning against the desk and pulls out a laptop. He opens the laptop and types something out. “Secret email account is very—”

Connor grits his teeth. “Just do it, Kleinman.”

“Yeah, yeah. Watch the monkey dance,” Jared mutters to himself. “That’s super fun.” He pauses. “If Evan gets twenty bucks a week for this, what do I get?”

“The gift of life.”

Evan shoots Connor a look.

“Awesome.” Jared types for another moment. “You know,” he says, “twenty bucks seems pretty cheap.”

“Are you trying to be difficult?” Connor grumbles.

“Always.”

“I-it’s fine,” Evan stutters. “Re-really, Jared?”

“I’m just saying,” Jared says with a shrug. “You should totally charge more for more complicated stuff. Twenty for faking friendship, forty for hanging out, sixty for being around the family.”

“What?!”

Connor glances to Evan out of the corner of his eye. Evan is protesting, but it’s not the worst idea. Especially after the dinner that Evan suffered through. Connor is going to have to ‘borrow’ more money from his parents’ wallets, but hey, at least it’s not for weed.

“I really fucking hate that I’m saying this,” Jared and Evan look over to Connor, “but that’s not a terrible plan.”

Jared smirks. “Nice.”

Evan gapes. “W-what?”

“If you spend a few hours dealing with my shitty family, that probably is worth more than saying hi to me in the hallway.” Connor crosses his arms. “I should probably pay you more when you have to deal with more bullshit.”

“N-no, that isn’t— you don’t have to—”

“Let him give you money, Evan.” Jared types rapidly on his laptop. “I’m making you two up a fucking price chart for reference.”

“Jared—”

“One condition,” Connor says. “If we’re doing this it’s only ten dollars a week, if that’s okay,” he directs the last part to Evan. “I’m not a goddamn millionaire.”

“Annoying but valid,” Jared says. “The weekly flat rate is ten dollars then, nonnegotiable.”

Evan sinks down into the other chair that someone had pulled up to the desk.

“I think the first step up is hanging out outside of school.” Jared glances to Connor.

Connor nods. “Three for outside, five for my house.”

“Do I get a say in this?” Evan asks weakly.

“Nope,” Jared says, popping the ‘p’. “If hanging out involves the fam, I say it’s an instant five more.”

“How about two added on to the location fee,” Connor argues.

Jared scoffs. “That’s three dollars, man.”

“Try to remember we’re high schoolers,” Connor says flatly.

Evan wimpers.

Jared pats Evan’s arm. “Okay. Extended family is another three. No arguing that one, extended family is bullshit. Twenty bucks flat for a sleepover. Like on top of the weekly ten.”

Evan’s eyes go wide. “What?! No!”

Jared looks to Connor.

Connor shrugs. “Fine.” He doesn’t think that will be relevant but whatever. If it gets written down it’s not the end of the world.

Jared smiles to himself and starts to type quickly.

“W-what are you doing?” Evan asks, leaning closer to try and get a look at the screen.

Jared elbows Evan away. “Shh I’m working.”

Connor raises his eyebrows.

“Aaaaaand…done.” Jared spins his laptop to show Connor.

Connor squints at the list Jared has made on the document.

This is the Worst Plan I’ve Ever Heard But Have Fun You Friendless Losers created by Jared Kleinman

$10 — weekly flat rate no matter what

—

Casual Shit:

$3 — hanging out outside of school $5 — hanging out at the Murphys’ (+$2 to location fee if it involves other Murphys) (+$3 more if it involves any extended family) $20 — sleepover

—

Romance Shit:

$25 — date $5 — hug $15 — kiss $200 — Full Boyfriend Package™

(FFBP™ decreases all things in this section by $10, except for dates, which drop to $20. No, you do not get paid for hugs, hugs are just free now. Congrats, you just paid two hundred fucking dollars for a free hug)

Connor rolls his eyes. “You’re fucking hilarious,” he deadpans.

Evan pales as he reads it once Jared has turned the screen toward him. “Uh…”

Jared snorts. “It’s called a joke, dude. Learn to take it.”

“J-just delete it,” Evan stammers. “That’s not— we were supposed to make emails.”

“Okay.” Jared highlights the romance section and deletes it. “It’s gone.”

Evan sighs. “Thank you.”

Jared does a keyboard shortcut. “And it’s back!”

“Jared!”

“Gone! And back!”

Evan’s ears turn pink. “S-seriously?”

Jared just wiggles his eyebrows and deletes it again. When he starts to hit undo, Connor leans forward and grabs the laptop out of his hands.

“Dude!”

“We aren’t fucking five,” Connor says. “Can you help us with these emails before my sister tries to call a fucking private detective on me or are you just going to be a dickhead?”

“That’s no way to talk to someone who’s helping you out,” Jared says. But he holds out his hand for the laptop, and when Connor gives it back, he spins around, puts the laptop on the desk, and opens a new tab.

Him and Connor set up a new email account and then Jared has Evan open up his own email. As Jared sets up faked emails that Evan and Connor will fill with mindless shit, Connor looks around Evan’s room.

There’s a window with two small succulents sitting on its windowsill. There are pictures scattered around the room in mismatched frames, a lot of Evan and a woman he assumes is his mother, more than a few of Evan and Jared when they were younger but less and less as they get older until there’s none, and one small picture of Evan with a man that looks vaguely like him that sits on the corner of Evan’s desk, a stack of books obscuring it slightly.

Connor remembers Evan saying something about his dad and looks away.

Evan’s room is much smaller than Connor’s. It’s cozier and cleaner, but still untidy. The books in Evan’s shelves are piled up and tipping over, there are a few sweatshirts draped around the room, and there’s a terrifying looking pile of papers on his nightstand.

“Yo,” Jared says, holding out his laptop to Connor. “Work out what you want these to say with Evan so I can finish this. While you do that I’m going to find some snacks.”

“We’re out,” Evan answers almost immediately from where he’s bent over his laptop.

“I’m going out to buy snacks,” Jared corrects. “See you in a bit, losers.”

Connor stares at the blank form that Jared has pulled up on the screen. How many of these things is he going to have to do and is this going to turn into a school assignment?

“It’s probably easier if one of us starts,” Evan murmurs. “And then we just go back and forth and respond to whatever the other says.”

“Like actual emails.”

Evan rolls his eyes. “Yeah, just faster.”

“Sure. Let’s keep the things that can mark when this shit got sent to a minimum, okay?” Connor’s summer is a blur. He spent probably too much of it high and another big majority of it just doing nothing. Looking back at it, it all just blends together into a mess of shitty and shittier.

Evan nods. “Mhm. I’ll start if you want.”

“Go wild.”

As Evan types, Connor clicks through the other tabs Jared has open. One for the email account, a few google searches, a coding thing Connor doesn’t understand, and the price list. Jared put the romance section back.

Connor makes a note on the document that just says ‘youre a dick’ and clicks back to the dauntingly blank form.

An hour later, Evan has finished his sixth email, Connor is typing out a shitty response, and Jared has shown up with enough chips to feed a small nation. They figure out how to space the emails they’ve already written and Jared gets to work on finishing up the ones they’ve got written.

“Should we do the whole summer?” Evan asks.

Connor shrugs. “I don’t care, Zoe will probably buy it with one or two.”

Jared spins back and forth as he adds all the timestamps. “Someone order a pizza, I’m dying.”

Evan checks the time. “Jared it’s only—”

“Yeah? And?”

“You just ate like an entire bag of chips.”

Jared looks up at Evan. “When has that ever stopped me from eating an entire pizza?”

Evan shakes his head. “W-whatever. The usual?”

Jared shoots him a finger gun as he types with one hand.

“I’ll go with,” Connor says. He follows Evan down to the kitchen to see another twenty dollar bill in the center of the table. “Want me to call it in?” he asks.

Evan nods. “Jared always gets a supreme. If he doesn’t finish he just brings it home.”

Fair, Connor would do the same if he cared more about eating. He can only handle so much of his mom’s cooking. Connor places the call and then waits with Evan at the table. “Does your mom have you get takeout a lot?” he asks, looking at the bill.

Evan follows his gaze. “Uh… I-I mean…yeah. She works all day at the hospital, she’s a nurse, a-and then takes night classes at the college,” he gestures vaguely toward the street and Connor assumes he means the community college that people who are ambitious like Alana Beck go to to take summer classes so they look more impressive to admissions, “so…she doesn’t really have ti-time to cook and I’m— I’m not very good at it,” Evan mumbles. “I can do…ramen? Um…mac n cheese. Instant stuff. Other than that I can make like…pasta and grilled cheese and that’s…sort of it. But she doesn’t have a lot of time to go to the grocery store and I, uh, don’t like going so. Takeout is…easier.”

Connor nods. “I get that. You can’t go wrong with ramen noodles. One day we’ll both be living off them,” he jokes.

Evan looks to him in surprise. He smiles a little. “Y-yeah, I guess that’s true.”

Connor suddenly realizes that he talked about the future casually. About college casually, because he can remember one time when he was little and sick and Larry made ramen noodles for him and Connor had decided that they were the best thing ever and Larry had ruffled his hair and said that he’d get sick of them when they were all he ate in college. It’s uncomfortable. It settles wrong inside him. Because outside of the context of that one quip, the future doesn’t feel real. It feels like some untouchable abstract concept.

Thinking about it makes his stomach turn and makes dark thoughts creep in from the corners of his mind.

He shakes them away and listens to Evan talk about how he’s ruined soup before. It’s better than thinking about a future that hardly exists, one that he’s ready to cut the string on at almost any given moment in time.

Evan buries his face in his hands as he tells Connor about the time Jared tried to make eggs in the microwave and almost set fire to the house. Connor laughs and pretends he’s okay.

When the pizza arrives, Connor pays the delivery person while Evan goes and gets Jared. It’s too early for dinner, but Jared doesn’t care and eats two slices before going upstairs to grab his laptop and then eats another. Evan eats breadsticks and lets Jared carry most of the conversation, about half of which is about how weird Connor eats his pizza.

Evan makes Connor take a slice of pizza back, because he ends up missing dinner at home, and Connor just rolls his eyes and takes the plastic tupperware and promises to give it back at some point. Evan shakes his head and tells him not to, because they have too much and they can never find lids that match. Connor figures he’ll just slip it back into a cabinet the next time he comes over.

Next time. Connor doesn’t think in next times. Weird.

#connor murphy #evan hansen #jared kleinman #deh #deh fanfic #my fics #to have a friend #welcome to Hell

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psychohelmet · 7 years

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Life update and stuffs. Ended up being really long.

So recently I made the decision to take a gap year/ intermission from university. I felt like I was miserable and I couldn’t function anymore. There were so many things wrong with me but I kept going until 2-3 weeks ago, when I just couldn’t handle school and my mind and decided that I really needed a break from everything.

The thought of taking a gap year popped up in my head time and again but I always felt somewhat guilty if I decided to take one. I felt guilty mainly cause my parents were paying for my education and I just wanted to make them proud. I always felt like I was letting them down one way or another and if I had decided to take a gap year, that I would just add onto the long list of why I was a disappointment. They always said I had so much potential but I just kept failing, screwing up and squandering opportunities away. I just kept these feelings inside of me, sucked it up to my best of my abilities and tried to continue life and school as per usual.

That lead to many other issues tho. Being in art school is obviously a tough interesting experience but overall just stressful and tough. You’re constantly surrounded by people who are talented, that you feel like they’ve figured out what works for them and that are extremely passionate. I initially was hesitant about entering art school cause I had lost my passion thanks to a previous art teacher of mine. I thought why not give it a go? Maybe being surrounded by passionate people who jolt my passion and motivation to do art. Sadly that didn’t happen. I ended up being way more lost and miserable. Ok which student hasn’t felt lost and miserable before? But I just felt like whatever I did wasn’t working out and I was just churning out things to satisfy deadlines and criteria. I just didn’t like what I did and felt that I was slowly driving myself into a corner. I used to be passionated about drawing and illustrations but ever since my previous art teacher happened, I just stopped all together. In art school, I felt like oh I can’t paint, I can’t draw, so what do I do now? I ended up doing a lot of experiment stuff, which was fun, but I felt like I was really narrowing down what I could do and it drove me mad. I felt so dead and unwilling to do work that I would ignore work for a straight month and then panic and rush when I had critique or deadlines were closing in thanks to my procrastination. I may have had an inferiority complex and I couldn’t bring myself to ask any of my classmates no matter how open and chill everyone seemed to be.

My grades weren’t helping my mental health either. My school has a very weird grading system. Overall we have a gpa, however we never know what our gpa is. Our grades would be out of a 100 with 40 being the passing grade which sounds pretty good and normal. But the thing is that it’s rather rare of anyone to score above 80 unless it was for theory or history. So constantly hitting 50s and 60s made me feel like I sucked and that probably everyone else was doing way better and it just made me even more demoralised. Having parents who were used to the normal grading system sucked cause they would never understand why I was achieving these grades and kept saying do better next time, you have to graduate with at least 2nd upper class honours.

Nobody seemed interested in my works compared to my classmates and my mediocre grades were hurting me and the pressure of not being a disappointment to my parents just put me in a really bad state. Not to mention my lack of a social life made me more miserable cause everyone seemed to never have the time for me and never bothered thinking about me. I had nobody to lean on. I had nobody to talk to. Everyone was too busy and I felt like I would be bothering them, both friends and family. There was just a lot of things happening and I just felt empty. I was living an extremely unfulfilling life. There were so many times I just try to disconnect from everything which lead to my parents nagging more at me cause they’d just assume I was being lazy.

This was supposed to be my graduating year. I did think of taking a gap year before the school semester officially started but I felt like I might as well just suck it up and get through the year. Also cause I didn’t want to bring my parents any stress and disappointment again. The pressure of wanting to do well just overcame me. I felt suffocated. I was just filled with so much anxiety and stress that I couldn’t do anything. There was this back and forth argument going in my head that I should just do it or that I should just quit. Eventually after talking to some friends, I decided I really needed a break.

Telling my parents that I wanted to take an intermission mid semester wasn’t going to be easy especially cause fees are expensive, I’m not the one paying for them and that there would be no refunds. Persuading my parents was going to be another headache cause, from my pov, they never took me seriously or bothered to understand me. I just let me be and assumed things. I know they do things with good intentions but sometimes it just frustrates me so much and their words can hurt so much. So I wrote them a letter about my situation and that I wanted to take a break and sigh when I handed them that letter, at first, they didn’t take it seriously until I sternly told them both to read it. That lead to probably one of the worse 2 weeks of my life in 2017. They said they would support me no matter what my decision ended up being but I could see it that they just couldn’t let me take the break I needed. They wanted me to talk to professionals like the sch counsellor (imo doesn’t help at all from past experiences), my programme leader and my uncle who’s an art teacher. It really did feel like they were hoping these professionals would tell me otherwise and change my mind. My dad was obviously worrying about sch fees and the fact that he would have to fork out even more money. I can’t blame him but idk money over your own daughter’s mental health? And you said you’d try to support me? It just rubbed off the wrong way. During those 2 weeks, my parents never brought the taboo topic up irl and only texted me about the matter which made me feel like they truly didn’t care. It was a really sucky feeling. It hurts me even more cause my mum did work in a mental health institute for a few years but she couldn’t help or say anything comforting to me.

So I did as I was told and talked to the necessary people just to please them because I desperately wanted out. A few people were willing to help me if I made the decision to continue school this year. My sis, who’s also an art teacher, offered me help by thinking for me like being my brain and I just needed to execute the works. My uncle offered to buy me the necessary materials I needed to pull off my practice and was also willing to help me. Even with people willingly wanting to help me, I couldn’t bring myself to continue school. I felt bad ngl. I just felt like I was continuously being selfish and letting everyone down but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I talked to my parents again and they finally allowed me to take the gap year I needed and well now I’m here. I just kinda sucks that they took forever to let me be and try to understand me.

It’s not the first time, I’ve caved in to anxiety, pressure and stress. The last time that happened, I flunked my graduating national exams. I might have passed nearly everything but I got shit grades. I barely had any universities I qualified for. Honestly, I hated how my parents continuously compared me to my sis who keeps achieving in life. I mean I’m happy for her but it sucks. You really feel like a defective child especially if you have dyslexia and adhd like I do.

This ended up super long but I guess it was necessary. I’m just glad my folks allowed me to do this and that they’re trying to understand and support me. I left out a lot of ugly details but you get what I’m trying to say (even tho this is already longer than an essay). I guess sometimes you got to take things into your own hands and not allow yourself to suffer for others. Stop doing things to please people, just do it for yourself. If you need a break and need help, do it before it gets worse. I still feel like crap honestly but I feel so so relived.

#aidah shut up #personal #well that ended up being an essay #well i guess i just felt like updating #i still feel weird #i still feel like nobody's truly here for me #my parents are still adjusting to this #but i still feel empty #just more relived #it sucks that i couldn't turn to them or friends for help #and i ended up in this situation

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evenstevensranked · 6 years

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#23: Season 3, Episode 3 - “My Best Friend’s Girlfriend”

Twitty’s new relationship with Allison Wong starts monopolizing his free time and Louis' jealousy emerges once again. Meanwhile, Ren and Donnie get caught up in some heated sibling rivalry for a change!

I love when “kid” shows grow up a bit and we get to see our characters in juicy situations -- Like, immature middle school relationships. LET’S GET INTO THE DRAMA!

We see that Louis and Twitty have found a hobby in "foam-hunk diving." Don't even tell me you didn't want to try this (or STILL want to try this.) If there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that this episode inspired us all to foam hunk dive:

One day during their routine excursion, Twitty notices Allison Wong standing nearby. It's so ridiculous (and slightly inappropriate?) how they have her drink from a water bottle in slow-mo while a deep voice sings "ohhhh, babehhhh" in the background. This is Even Stevens, not Baywatch. Louis encourages Twitty to go talk to her. Their conversation is awkward -- complete with a foam hunk sticking out of Twitty's neck. And I use the word "conversation" lightly because it's literally exactly what you'd expect interaction between two 8th graders to be like (a.k.a. The smallest small talk ever.) But, that's apparently all it takes for Twitty to return to Louis with the good news "She likes me!" and they celebrate by flailing around in packaging materials, as all mature men do.

I would also like to point out the incredible name for the packing supply warehouse, which I just noticed today:

“PACKRAMENTO Packing Supplies” - Not only is the totally legit logo abnormally bright, terribly superimposed, and made on Microsoft Paint... but it’s one of the greatest and worst puns I’ve ever heard.

Then it cuts to the subplot, where Donnie is preparing to give a rock climbing demonstration on... a giant rock wall that they've named after him. Why? I have so many questions. Was Donnie the school's star rock climber too? What middle school even has a rock climbing program? Lawrence Jr. High does because this is Even Stevens, fool.

Everyone is there in the stands, including Twitty and Allison who have already started dating??? They're cozying up to each other and everything already.

ok they’re honestly pretty cute tho

Just as Donnie is about to do his demonstration, coach Tugnut interjects and performs a cheer for Donnie. This is so disturbing, lol. The opening line is "Donnie Stevens, muscles that bulge" - CALM DOWN, TUGNUT. He also says “Leading his teammates to a steamy hot shower!” Again: Holy crap, Disney. What de heck. Tugnut was definitely a coded gay character... and an unfortunately creepy one at that, dang.

Wexler, Donnie, and Tawny are me.

He then insists that Donnie doesn't ~shine~ without an opponent, so Ren unwillingly volunteers by jumping up and screaming at the top of her lungs after Louis pours ice down the back of her shirt. This leads to a "family grudge match" (Tugnut's words) between brother and sister, which we seldom see and it's a cool lil switcheroo! The sibling rivalry is always centered around Louis and Ren specifically. So it's interesting to see what that dynamic is like between Ren and Donnie. Like, you forget that Louis and Ren have a brother sometimes! To Donnie's shock and embarrassment, Ren beats him. Uh oh. This births the main through-line of the subplot which is the two of them competing at literally everything ever in life after that because Donnie is being a sore loser.

At lunch that day, Louis’ jealousy takes center stage when Twitty invites Allison to eat with them. They’re all giggly and lovey dovey -- gushing about the fact that both of their names start with “Al” and they love strawberry ice cream but hate vanilla. Ya know, the kind of solid foundation all enduring relationships are built on. Louis ain’t havin’ it. Twitty even says that the two of them are going to craft club after school, when he usually goes to Louis’ house. God forbid.

This scene also brought us one of my favorite Louis gifs:

I can taste the salt from here. No one wears jealousy as strong as Louis Stevens.

I’m just gonna wrap up the subplot now, like I usually do.. because they’re always much shorter than the main plot and so intermittent that it’s just annoying (and extra work for me lol) to keep going back and forth! Sooo yeah. Basically Donnie starts an unofficial battle against Ren over everything: Like who can put away groceries the fastest and a spur of the moment limbo challenge. I love the limbo scene, because how on earth is Steve in regular clothes one second and tropical vacation clothes complete with a coconut drink the next? Because this is Even Stevens, fool.

“This is like that impromptu family fun you see on television!” Steve says, as we watch them have impromptu family fun on television. That’s some sorta fourth wall type joke right there.

Donnie ultimately challenges Ren to a rock climbing rematch... and she beats him fair and square again. Donnie is cool with it this time around and adjusts his negative attitude towards losing! Yay! I also forgot to mention that Tugnut very harshly slapped Donnie’s butt before he started climbing at both matches. Yikes. Ren and Donnie are all happy and proud of themselves for not letting competition come between them, and Tugnut is miserable over precious Donnie losing to his sister. They should probably rename it the Ren Stevens Rock Climbing Wall though. The person it’s named after couldn’t even climb it successfully.

I love this. It’s so nice, tbh. The end!

Back to the Twitty and Allison drama. Twitty stops by the Stevens house after craft club and brings Allison along with him. Louis just about dies. He just can’t handle it at all. I’d like to mention that Louis was reading a “swimsuit edition” of Steve’s bird watching magazine as Twitty walked in??? What? Is it just pictures of girls in bikinis posing with birds? Why is that a thing? Because THIS IS EVEN STEVENS, FOOL. Twitty also brought a wind chime he made using sea glass and Allison puts it to the left of Louis’ bed. Later in the scene, Louis walks to the right of his bed and the wind chime hits him in the head. Twitty forgot to mention he also installed a brain and legs into the wind chime. This whole scene is kinda sad though because Louis tries to hang out with them, but everything he suggests is only suited for two people. Like a bunch of hilariously titled board games: “2 On a Plank,” “Two to Tango,” “Third Wheel,” and “Odd Man Out.” Sounds like a fun time!

I love how “2 On a Plank” shows, like.. 5 people on the side of the box.

Louis clearly doesn’t know how to be alone or allow his friends to have other friends/significant others, so he immediately decides to replace Twitty any way he can -- Starting with asking Tawny to date him again. “As of right now, you and I are officially back on!” Tawny can see right through him as usual and tries to make him see that he doesn’t want a girlfriend, he’s just using her to fill the void. There’s a great bit here when Louis presents a daisy to Tawny and refers to it as a rose lol. That moment has been gif’d and literally has 400k+ notes on here! Wowie!

Tawny’s words of wisdom fall on deaf ears because Louis turns around right away and runs to Tom as a last resort. “Welp, now you’re officially my best friend!” he tells him. As if it’s that easy. Despite sort of being friends, (I say ‘sort of’ because Louis tends to treat Tom like poo on his shoe) the two of them obviously don’t have much in common and Tom is way too uptight to be bffs with Louis. Tom is absolutely elated to have a “best friend,” though. :( He asks Louis if they should talk to each other before school in the morning to make sure they don’t wear the same thing, but Louis insists that’s not gonna happen. And he’s right... the chances of that happening are literally zero. But leave it to Tom to somehow manage to take “best friends” to the next level:

I’ll never understand how or why this happens on TV shows all the time.

Louis tries to take Tom foam hunk diving with him, but Tom’s uptight nature sucks the fun out of everything. So much so, Louis just ends their new best-friendship right then and there. There’s only one thing I dislike about this episode, and that’s the way Louis treats Tom. As usual. It’s pretty hilarious though... Tom says he can’t hop the fence because he doesn’t have his fence climbing gloves. Oh my god.

Louis attempts to go dive by himself, but it’s just not the same. It also makes him look like a crazy person flailing around in hunks of foam and beaming with joy by himself. I’d like to point out that “Louis” does a flip into the hunks, except it’s definitely not Shia:

Shia couldn’t do his own stunts??? lol. The flip was pretty simple! This dude’s wig is so different from Shia’s hair and he has a receding hairline.

Just then, Louis hides as Twitty shows up with Allison and surprises her with the vat of foam hunks. She’s seriously unimpressed. She calls the idea of jumping into it stupid. One thing leads to another and they decide to break up, dramatically parting ways.

I love how this screencap really illustrates that it was the foam hunks that tore them apart. Imagine? “How did your marriage end again?” “My wife wouldn’t jump in a tub of packaging materials with me.” -- This is why middle schoolers aren’t ready for relationships.

Louis is beyond happy that they broke up at first. He’s just excited to have his best friend back. But, unfortunately.. all Twitty can do afterwards is mope around. He can’t stop thinking about Allison. This brings us to the end of the episode and the reason why I really like this one. In the end, Louis decides to put his friend’s feelings before his own and convinces Allison to go foam hunk diving with them. Awww. She pops up out of nowhere and pleasantly surprises Twitty! Tom shows up too and the four of them have a good old fashioned blast.

It’s like when friends get caught in the rain and have a cinematic, grand old time -- except this is Even Stevens so it’s foam hunks that fall instead.

And that’s it! Idk man, I just always liked this episode. I’ve said it a million times but I live for teen drama lol. It’s just refreshing and entertaining whenever this show decides to explore relationships. We get to see quite a few here as well! There’s Twitty and Allison of course. But then there’s Louis and Twitty’s friendship, as well as Ren and Donnie’s rivalry. This one is kinda stuffed to the brim with it, but I really enjoy the main plot. Even though Louis was super jealous the whole time, the resolution always makes me happy. Just goes to show that he’s a good friend, even though selfishness can get the better of him sometimes. This episode also kinda doubles as a Twitty plot which is cool. Oh, and Shia does his “WAHHHH-HA-HA-OOOOOO!” scream at least 10 times in this episode. Five of which are in the first 2 minutes, so there’s that. I actually just realized that this episode is basically the same plot as All About Yvette, except reversed and less cheesy. I feel like I mention that episode a lot for some reason lol.

I also want to let you guys know that I’ve created a Redbubble account to start selling some Even Stevens-related designs/products. I’ve been working really hard on the designs and cannot wait to post them!! Ahhh. I have so many ideas! haha. (Like *cough* Twitty-Stevens Connection band merch *cough*) It’s gonna be fun. I was inspired to do so because I saw that Lizzie McGuire, That’s So Raven and other Disney Channel “classics” have some new official merch for sale through Hot Topic. But of course... Even Stevens gets nothing. So once again, I’m taking matters into my own hands here lol. I always try to search for Even Stevens merch, but I can never find anything. So I’m making these products for myself as much as I’m making them for y’all. I’ll be sure to let you know when the stuff is posted.

ALSO Brookwell/McNamara (the show’s production team) followed the blog on Twitter. I feel so validated and ~official.~

Thanks for reading! As always, I encourage you to chime in via Disqus below.

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