#tom gribalski | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

evenstevensranked · 6 years

Text

#1: Season 3, Episode 5 - “Band on the Roof”

ANNNND... “BAND ON THE ROOF” TAKES THE CAKE!

I cannot believe I’m publishing the #1 ranking. Next month will mark two whole years since I created this blog and now, after countless hours spent on 64 reviews, we’re finally here! Never thought I’d see the day. I never anticipated that I’d be this emotional about it either. I’ll save the mushiness and some final thoughts for the end of the post.

When The Twitty-Stevens Connection gets back together, Tom shoots a documentary -- excuse me, “rockumentary” -- detailing the highs and lows of the band’s reunion! What we get is a rollercoaster of an episode featuring (almost) all of our favorite characters, the most legendary quote in the entire series, a mockumentary approach to filming that was ahead of its time, a heartwarming plot for our two main siblings, and one hell of a catchy song to boot.

For the last time...

Let’s get into it!

I know I throw the word "Iconic" around loosely sometimes but this is genuinely an iconic episode for the series. I feel like everyone remembers this episode. Even if you didn't watch the show too often, you still remember this episode. This one kinda makes me wish that Even Stevens was one of the first popular American comedy sitcoms to pioneer the mockumentary style gimmick for the entire series. (i.e. The Office, Modern Family, Parks & Rec) Because it works here. Really well. I’ve mentioned a few times before that The Office is my other all-time favorite comedy show, so I absolutely ADORE those strong vibes here.

According to Wikipedia and their list of “Mockumentaries” (which includes this episode!) -- as far as the genre in television goes, it seemed to become a big thing in the UK first and then spread to places like Australia and Canada. The United States mockumentary television format boom started in the early-mid 2000s, specifically at or around 2003 with Arrested Development and then in 2005 with the humble beginnings of The Office. "Band on the Roof” premiered in 2002. Hmmm. Very interesting! Not sayin’ Even Stevens was ahead of its time once again but that’s exactly what I’m saying. It’s almost like this show trial-runs ideas before they take off. First with “Influenza” and then this. Even though this episode was definitely more of a spoof of VH1′s “Behind The Music,” it still totally falls into that mockumentary TV category.

It opens with the introduction to the documentary, narrated by Tom in a super unnaturally deep voice with a little reverb slapped on there for dramatic effect: “First, there was The Alan Twitty Project... Then, there was The Louis Stevens Experience... The coming together of these two musical forces begat the supergroup The Twitty-Stevens Connection! ...But the band broke up temporarily when bassist Artie Ryan’s mom made him take pottery lessons.”

Tragic.

Tom introduces himself as “Thomas Gribalski: Rockumentary Filmmaker.” Wow, he’s wasting no time loading up his IMDb page. You document one Junior High band and it’s all uphill from there. He goes on to explain that when The Twitty-Stevens Connection got back together, Louis Stevens asked him to capture those “little moments” for them to look back on once the band becomes “rich and famous.” But, of course, no road to stardom is without its bumps.

I wanna know how Tom, a 14-year-old, got this swanky studio to record in...

It cuts to band rehearsal in the Stevens basement where they’re jamming to “Crazy” from the Battle of the Bands episode!! Everything’s fine until the band randomly stops playing in the middle of the song and Louis goes off on a never-ending drum solo that he refers to as “a groove.” It always bothered me how the music just… stops. Why did everyone but Louis decide to stop playing for seemingly no reason?! Whoever was in charge of audio here couldn’t be bothered to make it sound more organic lol. It’s really weird and abrupt. Sorry for the nitpicking there.

I love how Tom got that shot of a messy hamper in the foreground. It really amps up the grittiness.

It’s pretty great how Louis subtly changed roles from the band’s manager to the band’s drummer. For once, this was an arc in Season 3 that actually aired in the correct order. In Episode 2, Louis became interested in playing the drums and was gifted a drumset. In Episode 4 he started taking lessons, and here in Episode 5, he’s officially the drummer of the band. Shia is playing for real here as well! So that’s very cool.

While Louis is drumming his lil heart out during his self-indulgent extended solo, it cuts to shots of everyone killing time and I love it.

Tom, lol.

Ren eventually rips the drumsticks out of Louis’ hands and the two start arguing. Tawny reminds them that they promised to get along if the band got back together. Just then, we hear that shrill, annoying and unmistakeable voice chime in: “Can I say something?” The camera searches around until it lands on Beans just chilling there like he owns the place. Oh my god.

Louis: “Where is he? BEANS! HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?!?!” -- Why is that mockumentary style sooo funny though?! The shaky camera looking around and zooming in is what makes this.

I seriously wish every episode was filmed this way. But honestly, just getting this liiiittle glimpse into what a mockumentary version of Even Stevens might’ve been like is enough to make me feel #blessed. If a reboot ever happened, I’d definitely looove to see it reborn à la Modern Family for at least an arc or one special season. I know the gimmick is a little outplayed at this point but I mean, the Stevens are an eccentric enough family for a documentary crew to follow! Am I wrong?! All of the flagship American mock-doc shows have already ended or are ending soon. The door’s open for a new one. Just sayin’.

It cuts to Louis ranting about Beans in the first interview portion or “talking head” of the documentary. This is the greatest thing. Holy crap. He says: “Beans is like that policeman in Terminator 2, you know who I’m talking about? I swear, he goes liquid! He can fit through cracks in windows... under doors... through little keyholes!!” And right on cue, Beans appears outta thin air -- “I’m hungry. Let’s get a sandwich!” Again, the camera work makes this 10x funnier and Shia’s face is just too good:

Note: “Terminator 2″ is yet another completely solid reference to make!

Something I’d like to point out before I forget: While reviewing the series, I couldn't help but notice that the show could be even funnier if there was no background music all the time. (I tested that theory with this edit and was proven correct, tbh.) If you pay attention.. you'll notice that there's some sort of background music during almost every scene. Sometimes it works if it's heightening a moment or adding some flavor comedically. But during scenes where there’s just dialogue, I feel like it would be much better with silence -- because 1. It's more raw/realistic, and 2. the performances/writing is already so strong, it doesn't need extra sound clogging the material. And that's one of the reasons why this episode is so great! It's dead silent the entire time except for the Twitty-Stevens songs of course and some transitional music for the documentary. I love it.

So, yeah. Turns out Beans is a bassist?! He walks over to Artie and tells him “you’re horrible. Read my lips -- take a lesson!” Artie quits on the spot and leaves in a fit of rage (”I don't have to take this! I’M ARTIE RYAN!”). Beans backs up his insult by showing off his sick bass skillz to the gang, immediately earning himself a place in the band as Artie’s replacement. I love how Beans isn’t even touching the neck of the bass at all at one point. Seems legit.

It cuts to an interview with Artie and it’s so good: “I was thinking about quitting the band anyway. I didn’t like the direction it was going... NOWHERE. Since then, I’ve started my own band. Artie Ryan and the Funky Kats. I had some promotional materials made up!! Tom, you want a free one?!”

Tom (off-screen): “N.. no, thanks.”

Also... A frisbee?! LOL. I had to write out that whole Artie quote because it’s the last we hear from him in this episode and Artie is the best.

Next, it cuts to an interview with Twitty who claims that there was a whole new energy after Beans joined the band. It’s hilarious because Beans is this tiny, annoying 8-year-old, yet Twitty’s talking about him as if he’s some amazingly respected bassist who helped take them to the next level. He goes on to say that the ~revitalized spirit~ Beans brought to the table motivated everyone to work on new material... Including Louis & Ren, who teamed up to write a song together!! Ahh! It shows us the two of them writing out the skeleton of “Another Perfect Day.” I always laughed at how they’re not just writing lyrics like most middle schoolers would do... Nah. They’ve whipped out the staff paper and suddenly know music theory like it’s nothing. They’re literally transcribing their ideas by ear. I’m a Berklee grad and I still struggle like hell with theory.

Donnie happens to walk by and notices that his brother and sister are getting along for the first time, like, ever... and calls for Steve and Eileen to come quick and bear witness to it themselves!!

This show throws in some great little lines here and there that are easy to miss sometimes. When Steve and Eileen come running, Steve shouts “Donnie! Hang in there! You still have 5 minutes left on that hot oil treatment!!” thinking Donnie desperately needed help with his hair. HAHA! I never paid attention to that until recently. We get interviews with Donnie as well as Steve and Eileen here.

Donnie: “It was just... the sweetest thing. I wanted to hug them!! But I didn’t wanna ruin my hair. Wait!!! That sounded stupid. Don’t use that, ok?”

Gotta love the trophies as a backdrop lol.

Eileen: “It was amazing! It was as if the music brought them closer together.”

Steve: “Those were the happiest days of our lives. It was bliss! Sheer bliss!”

Hey! This is real stuff, though. Never underestimate the power of music!!

One of the funniest things about this episode is that Tom prefaced the documentary by saying the reunion happened a mere TWO WEEKS AGO! These interviews are so extra, as if they’re recalling something that happened years ago when it literally just happened and is fresh in their memories. It’s great.

We get a voiceover from Tom elaborating on Steve and Eileen’s sentiments, telling us that Louis and Ren had “reached a new level in their relationship” over corny footage of them casually playing freaking cat’s cradle like a couple’a besties! hahaha.

At their next rehearsal, the band starts working on “Another Perfect Day.” Once they have it down pretty well, Louis decides that they have a hit on their hands and need to do something big to get the word out. He comes up with the idea to hold a free concert on the school roof. Twitty interjects “Ya know, that’s not a bad idea because The Beatles did a free concert on the roof once!” Tawny adds: “So did U2!” and Louis finishes: “And now... The Twitty-Stevens Connection.” -- As if they’re anywhere near the level of either of those bands and should easily be mentioned in the same breath. That always cracked me up. (Speaking of The Beatles, the title of this episode is supposed to be a play on the Paul McCartney song “Band On The Run.” Or at least, that’s what I’ve always assumed.) Also, take a look at their single art. Amazing.

Things start to go sour now. Everyone’s on board for the rooftop concert except for Ren. That’s a shocker! She’s totally against the idea. She agrees that free publicity is great as long as you’re not violating any rules. She even double checks with Wexler who confirms that students on the roof is “strictly forbidden.”

At lunch the next day, Louis is super excited about the concert and giving Twitty and Tawny a rundown of his plans to set everything up. He says they should “get there early. Really early. Like... before school starts early” so they can get all the equipment and set it up on the roof. Another little exchange that’s easy to miss here is between Twitty and Tawny. Twitty says: “Sweet. What if we wore camouflage?” And Tawny sarcastically bites back: “That is a brilliant idea. What if we dressed up as giant metal vents to blend in with the roof decor!” HAHAHA. I’m just imagining that in my head right now and all I can picture is them looking like Eric Matthews dressed as a couch. Oh, yeah. They’ll blend in, no problem.

When Ren starts approaching their lunch table, Louis invites her over yelling “Hey, sis!!” Awww. Since we all know that Ren is practically Vice Principal, he asks her for help and advice on how to get up to the roof and such. But then it does a hard cut to Tom:

This needed to be gif’d.

Ren starts blabbing about how they’re forbidden to step foot on the roof and that she got a permit to perform in a public park instead, but Louis cuts her off before she can ramble any further: “Ren. You’re chickening out.” Ren protests and insists that she’s not a chicken and is just being smart about the situation, but Louis ain’t having it and explodes: “JIMINY H. CRICKETS THE THIRD JR., REN!!! We’re not robbing a bank or anything!! We’re singing on the roof!!!"-- I love this so much. He tells her to take a risk for once in her life. But, Ren being Ren, decides that she doesn’t want to get in trouble and essentially quits the band. As Ren storms away from them, Louis stands his ground and shouts at the top of his lungs:

Possibly the single most-quoted quote of the entire series. Actually iconic. I have this quote on my Facebook, it's my © footer quote on this very website, people have used this quote in their high school yearbooks. Yeah. It’s a big deal. Plus, it’s a pretty great quote to live by if you think about it tbh.

Ren leaving the band was only the beginning of their downfall. I love this photo the ‘documentary’ uses to illustrate the in-fighting lol.

There’s super melodramatic music with an ~emotional~ guitar lick playing here. It always gets stuck in my head. I’m humming it right now. As hilarious as the music is, it actually does make me feel a little upset...

And just like the ending of an America’s Next Top Model episode, Ren disappears from this photo of the band:

At home that evening, an instrumental knock-off of “Kiss Me” starts playing in the background of the doc while Ren contemplates the meaning of life. Tom does a voiceover saying that Ren’s decision to leave the band would lead her down a path to “self-discovery.”

She ends up having a heart-to-heart with Eileen about why she’s so reluctant to take risks. We get a glimpse into Ren’s childhood with “home video” showing her being a total caution freak at her 8th birthday party. She ate a single potato chip so she waits an extra 20 minutes before going into the kiddie pool with her friends. I’d like to point out that Young Ren is played by Alexa Nikolas, who would later go on to be a regular on Nickelodeon's Zoey 101.

Eileen assures Ren that she’ll find something worth taking a risk for someday and go for it!

CUT TO THE DAY OF THE CONCERT! Ren’s decision to leave the band causes everyone else to rethink the rooftop performance as well. Twitty decides to back out because he has one too many detentions already and can’t afford another. His initial poor attempt at an excuse plays out in the most hilarious way possible. (”TWITTY, I WROTE THAT NOTE FOR YOU LAST WEEK!”) Tawny just agrees with Ren. She decides it’s not a good idea and peaces out. And lastly, Beans calls at the eleventh hour and says he can’t make it because he has a hamster cage stuck on his head -- which amazingly, is not a lie. In the end, Louis is the last one standing. Or as Tom says, “A man without a band.”

At lunch, the sound of someone drumming starts to fill the air, leaving everyone confused for a minute. It’s Louis, of course. He’s up there drumming away and singing his background vocals alone and fully intends to perform the whole song that way. His determination to continue with the concert as the lone remaining member of the band is so admirable and badass honestly. It really shows how bold he can be and how he’ll always try to see his ideas through. Not only does this highlight Louis’ fearlessness, it also leads to an amazing moment for Ren as a character. As everyone runs to get a view of Louis, Ren starts remembering what Eileen told her. She slowly realizes that this could be her chance to seize the moment.

One by one -- Twitty, Tawny, and Beans join Louis up on the roof! They pick up their instruments and jump right in, each one building and building on the song. All leading up to Ren being the last one to finally run up there as the final piece of the puzzle! It’s a cheesy and predictable climax, but it’s still amazing. Seeing Ren take a chance like that always makes me emotional, not gonna lie. You can FEEL the happiness radiating off of everyone here. It makes me beam every time.

youtube

This gives me legitimate goosebumps. God. Watch this and tell me it isn’t freaking epic and CLASSIC. The final interviews paired with that tasteful background music always tugs at my heartstrings, too.

The gang ends up facing the consequences of their stunt and are punished by Wexler putting them on trash pickup duty. ^ That ending (seen in the video) is probably my favorite Louis/Ren bit ever. Seeing them both secretly admit to the camera that they had a great time together just warms my heart. I love how they say the same exact thing at one point too: “Don’t tell her/him I said that” lol. It’s so simple but so effective and really sums up their relationship. Two siblings who are always at odds, but at the end of the day, they’re family and have that unconditional sib love whether they want to admit it or not. I love the little slideshow of photos from the rooftop gig to wrap everything up.

...and the very last frame of the episode is this picture of THE GREATEST DISNEY CHANNEL SIBLINGS OF ALL TIME and it’s so precious. This photo is so genuine. You can tell it captured more of Shia and Christy than Louis and Ren. It's just so nice:

I would have this framed and hanging in my house somewhere if I were them. Wow! Also... What could possibly be a better final shot for the episode that’s concluding my specific project?! Tell me. I’ll wait.

And that’s it.

This is one of those ~special fun plot~ episodes, but it’s not super wacky or zany. Like most of the schemes Louis pulls, they somehow manage to make it seem like a couple of middle schoolers could successfully put on a school rooftop performance like this irl. There’s super solid humor, great dialogue, some incredible character moments and plenty of heart to top it all off! It ends on such a satisfying and happy high note. And even though I prefer Comedian Louis over Musician Louis, this episode is just too damn fun for me to care. It sort of benefits from the “Influenza” effect. If you add a song to an episode, odds are it’ll automatically make it that much more memorable. The only difference between this episode and “Influenza” is that it has a lot more going for it story-wise.

This episode has everything for me. The way it's filmed is unique to every other episode in the series. The humor is extra dry and a little different for the show here, but still feels very distinctly Even Stevens and stays true to what we love about the show. This episode includes practically every major character, too! Let’s round up everyone who makes an appearance here: Louis, Ren, Twitty, Tawny, Tom, Beans, Steve, Eileen, Donnie, Coach Tugnut, Principal Wexler, and even Artie Ryan! My only complaint is that Larry and Ruby should’ve made appearances. Like, just a little scene of Larry taunting Ren about not having the guts to go up on the roof or something would’ve been cool.

Just adding some extra photos from the episode to break up this sea of text.

This is the only episode other than the finale that actually manages to make me shed a tear. But the tear this episode squeezes outta me has more meaning behind it imo. In the finale, I’m pretty much solely crying over the resolution to the Louis/Tawny saga and the fact that it’s the last episode of the series. Here, I’m crying over the pure relationship between brother and sister (the root of the show) as well as the gang’s friendship. No other episode gets me in my feelings like that across the board. It honestly feels like a finale in its own right and I can’t think of a better one to wrap up this countdown with.

Is this the best episode of Even Stevens? You tell me. Is it one of the most memorable, iconic, hilarious, unique, and feel-good episodes of Even Stevens? Absolutely. Is there even a way to determine what episode is "objectively" or scientifically proven to be the best? lol who knows! If there's anything this whole project has taught me, it's that perhaps this show is just so good, there simply is no "best" episode. In which case, this whole blog has been a complete waste of time.

SIDE NOTE: It was brought to my attention that this episode shares similarities to a Saved By The Bell episode titled “Rockumentary.” While the overall outline is pretty dead on (the rise, fall, and rise again of a garage band) the actual episodes themselves are extremely different. Annnnd Even Stevens did it better. No surprises there. So, WHO CARES?!

Aside from this being my personal favorite episode of the series and meeting my ranking requirements, I have a few little bonus stats to back up my decision to deem "Band on the Roof" worthy of the top spot:

It's the highest rated episode of the entire series on TV.com, boasting a 9.6, which I wasn’t aware of until a few days ago and was honestly surprised.

Back in 2003, while the show was still popular/on-air, some fans held a march madness style poll for the Best Episode of All Time and "Band on the Roof" was the winner.

This episode has popped up on various nostalgia articles as one of the greatest in the series. One of my favorites is by a published author and screenwriter in the biz who also ranked it #1 on her Top 7 favorite episodes of Even Stevens list. [article]

In the comments of this episode on YouTube, (which I probably should’ve saved before Disney recently deleted the video... ugh) the general viewer consensus was that it's a widely beloved episode and one of the greatest/solidly written/most memorable. Easily Top 3 or Top 5 in the opinion of others.

I've gotten quite a few comments across the socials for the blog from readers asking about where this episode will be ranked and/or simply randomly stating that ‘Band on the Roof’ is the greatest and iconic.

Basically, there is massive love for this episode. No matter what, there’s a good chance you'll consistently see this one mentioned as one of the best or at least in someone's personal favorites -- Myself included. Obviously, me being a musician and loving the mockumentary style/drier humor here has contributed tremendously to my favoritism -- but the general fan love and praise, mixed with the actual solid content of the episode, makes me feel like ranking it #1 is justified. As objective as I tried to be throughout this process -- I created Even Stevens Ranked to get some personal thoughts and opinions out of my system. Well, that, and to do my best to highlight how fantastic this show is. Please remember, at the end of the day, this is my list. So. :)

Now that I’ve finished the project, I’m honestly quite satisfied with the outcome here. Not only am I so unbelievably proud that I actually saw this thing through to the very end -- I feel like my Top 10, in particular, (or the Top 25 on a larger scale) is the most solid crop of episodes I could’ve ever come up with. I think they all include nice and important moments for all of the characters, some of the strongest humor, and capture the spirit of the show the best. They’re objectively pretty darn good ones to subject a newbie to if ya ask me!

This project was extremely difficult. It was time-consuming and stressful, but it was also such a blast and only solidified Even Stevens as my favorite show of all time in my heart even more than it already was. When I started, I always knew that “Band on the Roof” would be #1, “In Ren We Trust” would be dead last, and “Influenza” would be #15, but other than that I made countless changes to the list as I went on. The closer I got to the end, I was worried that I’d look back and hate my list, but I’m so relieved to feel very confident in my final decisions and reasons for those decisions. If there’s anything I’d change, it’d probably be to rank “Stevens Manor” sliiiightly higher. But still, I don’t even wanna say that because I have no real problem with placing it at #17. It’s not a bad slot. As I’ve said many times, anything in the Top 25 is pretty much top notch to me.

So... What else is there to say? Here we are. 65 episodes down. 0 to go. The entire series ranked and reviewed. Mission accomplished. From the moment I posted my very first review, I always hoped I’d make it to this point but for whatever reason, I never thought I actually would. I talked about this a little bit when I hit my one-year milestone. Milestones like that are what kept me going, though. Even the littlest ones. I’ll seriously never forget when I completed 5 reviews and hit #59! It felt like the greatest accomplishment ever. And so on and so forth...

For years, I felt like I was some weird, lone fan of this show. I thought that maybe 5, 10 people tops, would care enough to read this blog. I am shocked at the decent following Even Stevens Ranked has garnered over the last two years across Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and right here on Tumblr. My strange urge to rank and review every episode of this fantastic show has somehow turned into a ~community~ that is 1k+ strong if you combine all four social accounts. That is staggering. Meeting other fans of the show through this blog has been so, so awesome and I plan on keeping Even Stevens Ranked alive because of that. I can’t just leave it behind. I have some cool ideas moving forward, including a pending podcast. :D

I can’t thank you enough if you’ve actually bothered to read even just one of my reviews and found it the least bit interesting. We went on this weird little journey together. So thank you! Truly.

I’ve completed what I initially set out to do, but you can definitely expect a bonus video review for a change of The Even Stevens Movie sometime in the near future. I mean, how could I do a project like this and NOT discuss the big finale film?!

Just a reminder that there’s a Twitty-Stevens Connection design up on Redbubble! Available in black text and white text.

Thank you sooo much for reading. You know the drill! Please, journey into the Disqus comment section below if you’re so inclined. I’d love to hear any of YOUR thoughts now that this crazy project is complete. Ahh.

- Brittany

Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | Redbubble

13 notes · View notes

anangstyblackgirl · 7 years

Photo

Poor Tom.

#even stevens #tom gribalski #shia labeouf #disney #early 2000s #socially awkward #anxiety #louis stevens

726 notes · View notes

brittanybutler · 7 years

Photo

okay but can we talk about the fact that the first few minutes of “raise your voice” is literally some warped lizzie mcguire/even stevens crossover au where claire ditches kate and becomes besties with lizzie and they’re both in choir with tom gribalski ??? it’s even filmed at the same school that was used for exterior shots on BOTH shows... what the heck.

#I MEANT TO POINT THIS OUT MONTHS AGO BUT YEAH #omg i'm actually kind of living for this #why didn't we ever get a lizzie/even stevens crossover??? lol #they were like.. the two biggest shows at the time #hilary duff #even stevens #lizzie mcguire #old school disney #raise your voice #davida williams #tom gribalski #fred meyers

12 notes · View notes

theevenstevens-blog-blog · 11 years

Video

Louis' Hall Patrol cult initiation.

#Even Stevens #tom gribalski #louis stevens #haha #Hall Patrol #ren-gate #even stevens #Disney #Disney Channel #original series #comedy #cult #i love this #one pair of non-flamable pants

37 notes · View notes

evenstevensranked · 6 years

Text

#5: Season 3, Episode 1 - “The Kiss”

Season 3 begins with a bang -- bringing us one of the best, most memorable episodes the show has ever produced! Louis and Tawny accidentally kiss at lunch and the two decide to start dating!!! AHHHH! Everything's great until Tawny has to kiss Zack Estrada (yes, the saga continues once again) in the school play. The subplot is all about Donnie, who feels like a broken human because he never cries.

This is it, guys. The Top 5. The home stretch. The crème de la crème. Let’s go.

This episode was a really big moment in my childhood. I was going through some old VHS tapes I found not too long ago, and came across one with this episode on it! That’s how you know it was a major deal. The first minute or so was cut off on the recording, and this was before all of our TVs had in-depth guides at our fingertips -- so I had no idea what episode was going to be airing. All I knew was “Even Stevens is up next!” So as soon as I saw it was the kiss episode, I popped in that tape and recorded this thing ASAP. I was a tweenage hopeless romantic with a crush on Shia LaBeouf. Of course I had to record the episode where Louis gets a girlfriend.

It opens with Louis and Tawny at lunch together being adorable, trading snacks and sides until each of their lunches are completely different from what they started with. When suddenly, Tawny ~gets something in her eye.~ The oldest cliché in the book! I love it. Louis gets reaaal close to Tawny and goes diggin’ for gold in her eye, eventually identifying the “thing” as a soy cookie crumb. That’s when some person bumps into Louis and thankfully Tawny’s lips are there to break his fall.

The two are in absolute stunned silence once they break apart. It was a magical moment, clearly, as you can see. Ren interrupts their mutual daze by walking over with Zack Estrada and Tom in tow, reminding Tawny that she has a fitting for the school play. This does a hard cut to Louis’ room after school that day. Twitty dramatically spits out his drink when he hears the news: “DUDE! THIS IS HUGE YOU KISSED TAWNY?!?!”

I’ve mentioned before that Even Stevens comes across as more of a ~bro show~ in comparison to the majority of Disney Channel shows which typically follow a teen girl as the lead. This is why I love rare moments like this scene between Louis and Twitty. Two guy best friends freaking out about one of them kissing a girl for the first time. I feel like we never see this on Disney Channel anymore. It feels so real and genuine too, especially for these characters. Louis isn’t entirely sure if it counts as a kiss though, so Twitty demands to get the facts straight. (“Kissing is like basketball, either the ball went in the hoop or it didn’t!”) He asks Louis how long he kissed her for and Louis guesses it was a “one-Mississippi” length. Twitty rejoices.

“SWISH, DUDE! You kissed her!”

Louis is elated. Both of them agree that Louis + Tawny = Beautiful. (Can’t argue there!) So much so, that Louis starts to skip around with happiness. One of my favorite parts of the whole episode is here, when Louis takes a moment to think about how Tawny might be feeling. He has a mental breakdown when he realizes “Wait, whoa. There she was... Eating her lunch... and I, like... JUMPED on her! For all I know, Tawny’s disgusted by me!” Louis Stevens is the kind of guy we all deserve. I know it’s such a small thing, but it’s something that has aged amazingly. This line stood out like a sore thumb to me given today’s political climate and the Me Too era. I’ve said a million times that this show has aged super gracefully because it really has. It’s not entirely perfect though. No show is without its blemishes. There are some things we haven’t made it to yet in the countdown that have definitely not aged very well, but we’ll get to that later. Let’s just say, this one little line shows that Louis has grown exponentially as not only a character, but a guy in general, and sets a good example. Twitty vows to go on a “fact-finding mission” for Louis to figure out how Tawny feels about the situation.

Tawny is still back at school rehearsing for the play which was written by... you guessed it! REN STEVENS! This woman does everything. How does anyone else even have a job at LJH? Ren is in charge of everything ever. Ren’s brilliant and totally not boring play is about Abigail Adams, played by Tawny, and her relationship with John Adams, played by none other than Zack Estrada! Knowing these characters and their history, it’s clear that Zack is still into Tawny to some degree. Coach Tugnut is there because they apparently pay him $92 to be the theater advisor. I love how specific that amount is, lol. He has no problem telling Ren that her play is a pile of trash and needs to be spiced up if she wants to sell any tickets.

I love how Tom is playing the “lowly manservant.” He’s ridiculously dedicated to staying in character at all times throughout the episode. Tom’s the best. Tawny’s pattern mixing though. A plaid dress with red and black striped tights and Docs? She was so ~alternative.~ I love it.

Zack is trying to ask Tawny out for a root beer when Twitty crashes the rehearsal and not so subtly tries to ask Tawny about the kiss, skirting around the issue by nervously asking stupid questions instead like “where are your parents from originally?” But of course, Tawny is freaking awesome and has no time for anyone's bs as usual. She literally says “I’m gonna stop you. Because eventually, you’re going to ask me about the kiss Louis gave me today at lunch. If he wants to talk to me about it, he can talk to me without your help. Tell him to meet me at his locker 10 minutes before first period,” YAAAASSSSSS! TAWNY IS NO NONSENSE AND ONE OF THE GREATEST FEMALE CHARACTERS ON DISNEY. Praise.

The next morning Louis is waiting for Tawny at his locker and you’ve undoubtedly seen this screenshot of when he notices her walking his way:

Smooth. For whatever reason this is one of the main images that comes up as a “Louis Stevens” search result, therefore nearly every single nostalgia article uses it. It’s kind of annoying.

Louis and Tawny have a preciously awkward conversation, talking about how they both couldn’t sleep because they were up thinking about what happened. They’re also sort of skirting around the issue until Tawny puts her foot down once again: “Look, Louis, I like you. I always have. Since the first day I met you.” I am melting. Louis is so freaking happy and says “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?! WE COULD’A BEEN KISSIN’ UP A STORM!!!” Oh, wow. They immediately start dating and I’m a puddle of goo. Also, this happens. Which... yeah, lol. 95k notes. Wow.

The first gif tho. Louis when Tawny was saying “I like you.” HOW GENUINE IS THAT FACE?! Shia won an Emmy for this so there is justice in the world. But yeah. They are so pure. :’)

This leads into a montage that spans possibly 3 days or so, showing us Louis and Tawny interacting as a couple. I hate that this is all we get. They should’ve stretched this montage into 3 episodes instead tbh. I live for this crap.

“Hey, babe. Want some celery?”

“Only 15 more hours ‘til I see you!”

"Thanks for walking me to rehearsal.” “Oh, anything for my beautiful lady.”

QUALITY CONTENT. Also, gotta love how polite Louis is being by wearing that hideous sweater Tawny knit for him.

I love this episode because we get to see actual ~Boyfriend Louis~ for the first and pretty much only time, and man is it something. Once again this show nails the awkwardness of Junior High relationships. It’s so intense when you’re 14, right?! There’s no such thing as casually dating. You have to be all in, 24/7. It takes over your life because you’re not really equipped to mentally handle a serious relationship at 14. This is why I never get tired of watching TV teen relationships. They’re always endlessly entertaining to me.

After watching a cheesy 1940s “Casablanca” knock-off romance movie with the fam, Ren realizes the “spice” her play needs is the passion of two people in love. She rewrites the play to make it more exciting and even adds in a passionate kiss between Abigail and John... a.k.a. Zack and Tawny... for the big finale. UH-OH! We’re introduced to Donnie’s little subplot there because Steve, Eileen, and even Beans -- bawled their eyes out at the movie but all Donnie could do was burp after stuffing his face through the whole thing. He starts to question “what’s wrong with me?!” because he felt no emotion whatsoever.

Ren announces the script changes at the rehearsal Louis walked Tawny to a few screenshots above. Coach Tugnut observes Louis and Tawny’s obvious couple-y vibe and tells Louis “First girlfriend? Get ready for a lifetime of pain.” Oh, god. That’s the last thing you should tell Louis Stevens. He starts freaking out and it only gets worse when he hears Ren tell everyone about the addition of the big kiss and Zack cheers “YEEEEEAHHHH!!!!!! *transitions into a cough to cover his excitement*” Because as I mentioned, it’s clear that he’s still into Tawny. I feel like if it was anyone other than Zack, Louis might be okay with the kiss. There’s just something about this guy that he absolutely cannot deal with. We first saw Louis' jealousy over Zack and Tawny way back in Season 1 with "Easy Way" and then "Strictly Ballroom." We also see Louis become super jealous over Twitty's friendship with Zack towards the end of the series. Also... I swear, I did not plan for 3 out of 4 episodes in The Zack Estrada Saga to end up in the Top 10 and be counted down in serial order. Pretty cool that it worked out that way though, haha.

Louis feels that Ren’s rewrite is “too predictable” so he decides to write his own ending for the play and presents it to Ren at home that night. He envisions the story concluding with Abigail running to her husband and giving him a haircut. HAHAHA! Anything but a kiss! “I’ve never seen it before!” he says. Welp, he’s definitely right about his idea being unpredictable! lol. Imagine?! Of course, Ren can tell that Louis is actually just freaking out about Zack kissing Tawny and Louis is like “Are you trying to embarrass me in front of the whole school?!” -- But, would it really be that bad though? Would people taunt him like “lol ur girlfriend kissed another guy” or something? Because, like... It’s just a play. But then again, it is middle school. So.

Louis is super down about the whole thing and Tawny finds him sulking on a bench the next day. She’s all “Hey, Cutie Pants! I’ve been looking all over for you!” -- ‘Cutie Pants’ is a little too far, lol. She brought Louis her “Tater Slabs,” which he declines. Side note: Are those supposed to be a form of Tater Tots? Because I feel like Disney Channel has a million different names for Tater Tots. They call them Tater Slabs here. These days, they’re calling them Baby Taters on Andi Mack. It’s just a constant reminder that “Tater Tots” is a registered trademark that Disney can’t say without coughing up the cash, lol.

Tawny asks Louis if something’s the matter and he’s like “I think you should quit the play” and pulls a bunch of bogus excuses out of his butt as for why. Tawny being Tawny cuts right to the chase: “Does this have anything to do with me kissing Zack?” I love this bit. She reassures him that all they’re doing is acting, it’s not real -- and there’s only one person she really wants to kiss. She asks Louis to promise he’ll be okay with it and Louis’ response of “Alright. I promise,” is the softest, most sincere thing I’ve ever heard this character say. It warms my heart every time. Tawny heads off to rehearsal and Louis is feeling prett-ay swaggy knowing he’s ~the only man in Tawny’s life~

I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS. I also never knew what he was saying here, but I think I just realized he’s mouthing to himself “I’m the only one she really wants to kiss”

Louis was just accepting the fact that it’s ONLY ACTING until he sees the newly unveiled poster for the play that features a cozy picture from dress rehearsal.

CUT TO THE PLAY! It starts with a bit where Tawny/Abigail calls Tom’s character Renee “a loyal and faithful manservant.” Tom originally had a speech, but Ren cut it in her rewrite. So he milks his time on stage by saying “Thank you, thank you, thank you” repeatedly to Abigail. It’s great. Tawny and Zack are up there acting really well together! Louis’ whole family is whispering about how great their chemistry is and Louis is quaking.

One of John’s lines in the play is that he will think of Abigail “on two occasions... when my eyes are open, and when they are closed,” -- Is that a Babyface reference?! HAHA. Louis can’t take it anymore so he goes running backstage and I’m not sure what he was planning to do, but he ends up going completely insane. He somehow managed to steal Tom’s costume right off his back and goes running on stage demanding for John to leave before kissing his wife goodbye. It’s so cringeworthy. I can’t help but laugh though when Louis says “You must come with me at once! You gotta send her a postcard, email, or something! We gotta miss rush-hour traffic!” LOL.

Ren: “How did Louis get your clothes?!”

Tom: “He can be very persuasive...”

What could Louis possibly have said to get Tom to strip?! Omg.

Tom goes running on stage like ^ that in an attempt to save the play somehow and says “Excuse the undergarments, m’lady! I was under the cherry tree napping!” which was always one of my mom’s favorite lines, haha. Tom tries to drag Louis off stage but the entire play officially goes down in flames when Louis starts fighting Tom off of him. He goes rollin’ all over the stage, knocking down everything in his path -- completely ruining the set. It’s funny, but I also feel so bad for Tawny. Ugh.

After Louis destroys the whole shebang, he tries to play it off by doing this... which is truly hilarious:

Louis meets up with Tawny outside after the play and the two have such a dramatic conversation. I love it. Louis apologizes: “You gotta understand... I tried to be mature and cool. And the next thing I know, I’m up on stage wearing Tom’s pants! I’m really sorry.” It’s way more sincere than it sounds. Louis decides that he’s not ready for a relationship. This is actually such great character development for him. Interestingly, he’s mature enough to realize he’s NOT mature enough to seriously date someone. As upsetting and frustrating as it is to see the two break up, it’s also really satisfying to see him own up to his immaturity. This creates a true arc for when they finally get together in the series finale. It feels earned. Like they’re actually ready that time around. They decide to go back to being just friends for the time being. Before they part ways, however, Louis decides to leave Tawny with a super suave kiss?! What the heck?!

This was the biggest kiss of my entire childhood between two TV characters aside from Lizzie and Gordo at the end of The Lizzie McGuire Movie tbh. Everyone was expecting that Lizzie/Gordo kiss though. THIS one was outta left field here! This is so weird to me! He’s super smooth with Beans’ cousin later on and here he’s kissin’ Tawny like a pro. Idk, man.

The episode ends with Donnie finally crying over that Babyface lyric: “When his eyes are open, and when his eyes are closed......... THAT’S ALL THE TIME!”

And that’s it!

Gaaad, this episode is a classic. Like I said, it was a pretty big deal for 10 year old me, let me tell ya! I feel like it’s definitely one of the most memorable episodes ever. Not to mention, it technically has 3 plots (Louis/Tawny, Ren writing the play, and Donnie) and ALL OF THEM ARE INTERTWINED FLAWLESSLY! I gotta commend that. The only department I’d say this episode is lacking in is quotable dialogue. But that’s it really! It checks every box for me otherwise! This episode and the finale probably had a lot to do with Season 3 being my favorite as a kid, haha.

What are your thoughts on this wonderful season opener?! Please add to the conversation via Disqus belowwww!

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Redbubble

#rank #even stevens #season 3 #shia labeouf #louis stevens #christy carlson romano #tawny dean #louis and tawny #louis x tawny #tom gribalski #alan twitty #the zack estrada saga #ren stevens #donnie stevens #beans #tv review #tv #tv shows #lizzie mcguire

12 notes · View notes

evenstevensranked · 6 years

Text

#6: Season 1, Episode 18 - “Movie Madness”

Louis takes a stab at directing a short film in hopes of winning the Sacramento Young Peoples Film Festival and it is absolutely incredible. Not the film, the film is god awful. But Louis’ blatant, unfiltered narcissism -- THAT is something to behold. The subplot follows yet another one of Ren’s attempts to approach Bobby Deaver for the first time but somehow results in some glorious miscommunication between her and recurring character Ivan.

This one opens in history class with a teacher named Todd Zanders who only appears in this one episode. I kinda love this guy and wish we saw more of him. He’s a total hippie and is making the class take “deep, cleansing breaths -- in with the good, out with the bad” when Louis comes running in late and disrupts the peace. Louis is clearly excited about something so Todd pulls the old “why don’t you share with the rest of the class” card, probably hoping that will intimidate Louis and shut him up, but this is Louis Stevens we’re talking about here. Todd technically gave him the floor, so ya know Louis is gonna run with it. He gets up on his chair and announces to everyone that he’s going to be entering his currently non-existent film in the Sacramento Young Peoples Film Festival.

“I, Louis Stevens, will be entering my film in the Sacramento Young Peoples Film Festival. And after I win first place in the festival and get my million dollar movie deal... I will, sadly, be moving to Beverly Hills to a sprawling ranch home.” -- The narcissism is already in full swing. I love it. I also love that Louis says he’ll be moving to a ranch home because he already stated in Episode 15 that he’s “always liked ranch style!” houses. Good continuity.

Louis goes on to say he’ll be needing a limo driver, a gardener and even suggests that Todd should be his personal chef. Oh my god. He tells Tawny, Twitty, and Tom to meet him at his house after school to discuss the logistics of the project and its million-dollar plot.

It cuts to the subplot where we meet both Ruby and Bobby for the first time! Ruby is reporting to Ren with her latest gossip column and the two of them end up checking out Bobby Deaver from across the hall. I just gotta include a gif of Bobby’s first appearance because the level of intentional dramatic cheese is hilarious.

Ren is gushing over Bobby from afar saying things like “He’s so cute. Look at his hair... It’s perfect. Look at his walk! He’s so cool!” and for whatever reason, everyone’s favorite lackey Ivan is within earshot and assumes Ren is crushing on him. He’s flying solo in this episode and I guess this shows us why he’s a hanger-on every other time we see him. Ivan on his own is pretty sad and shy.

Ivan under the impression that Ren’s compliments are directed at him.

Ruby inspires Ren to talk to Bobby but warns Ren that she should write down everything she wants to say to him beforehand to ensure their first conversation will be absolutely perfect. We get a bit later on where Ren is in her room trying to come up with an ideal icebreaker and oh my freaking god. This has got to be one of my favorite Ren scenes in the entire series. Good LORD! She imagines how each scenario could play out in her head and I die laughing every time. Two brilliant ideas she comes up with are to walk right up to Bobby and say “Hey, Bobby. Nice belt!” or my personal favorite: “Hey, Bobby! Oh, I wouldn’t try that Salisbury steak if I were you!” The writing on this show is so incredibly random sometimes that it only ever results in greatness. Also “Nice belt!” is so disturbing. She says it in the most suggestive way too. Why are you staring at.. that... region, Ren?! Each ridiculous scenario ends with Bobby making the most irritated and confused face and completely ignoring her... because, I mean... would you know what to say to someone who walks up to you, creepily smiles, and tells you to avoid eating Salisbury steak with no further explanation?

I just realized that this show often depicts girls as being the first ones to make a move or initiate a relationship, which is kinda cool since we’re pretty much conditioned to sit around and wait.

After everything, Ren ultimately decides that marching up to him and saying “Hi, Bobby! I have a big crush on you and I just wanted to let you know how I feel!” is the best way to go.

It cuts to Louis’ room where he’s having that meeting with Tawny, Twitty, and Tom. Once again, we see Louis determined to find his "thing." That’s pretty much what the overall theme of the show originally set out to be. In addition to our lovely bickering siblings, of course. Here, he’s super optimistic that he’s finally found his “thing” in writing/directing. Sweetie!!! Your thing is comedy!! We all know this already!!!! But, still. I really enjoy the idea of Louis constantly searching for something to excel at. He explains to them that “Everyone has their thing. Twitty has his music! You’ve got your poetry! Tom’s got..... his... parents!” HAHA. Poor Tom.

Louis goes on to brief the gang on the plot of the movie which he describes as “the classic love story about an alien (Tawny) and a cowboy (Twitty).” An instant classic, honestly. Louis truly believes that they’ll “walk in as nobodies, and walk out as stars” after appearing in his movie. Well, everyone except Tom -- who he relegates to the role of his assistant.

”I see stars.”

It cuts straight to filming and boy do things really get going now. Louis has transformed part of the living room into a tinfoil explosion, which I’m assuming is supposed to be the inside of a spaceship. (see cover photo.) This episode is FULL of amazing dialogue and quotes from Louis. It’s insane! So, as usual, it’s going to be very difficult for me to not quote every single one. Twitty decided that his cowboy should have giant mutton chop sideburns and speak with an English accent without consulting Louis, Louis gets insulted because “that’s not in the script” -- which Twitty and Tawny haven’t even been given yet. Once they get their scripts, however, they’re confused as to why it’s only one page. Louis, being the informed and gifted director he thinks he is, condescendingly explains “We’re only shooting scene 27 today. We shoot out of order. It’s called filmmaking.” Except everyone knows that films shoot out of order due to the availability and scheduling of the sets/locations and actors, etc. Louis Stevens has only two actors at his indefinite disposal and seemingly one set location. He’s literally shooting out of order for no reason and is completely oblivious. It’s great.

Louis can’t be bothered with rehearsals, blocking, or any other necessary steps towards making a movie and jumps straight to filming. Tawny is unsure of what he wants her to do because “all that script said was ‘the spaceship lands and the alien looks around.’” Louis has no time for her valid confusion and snaps “THAT’S RIGHT. YOU’RE CONFUSED AND FRUSTRATED. DID YA READ IT?!?!” I love this so much. Louis starts recording and Tawny vents out of character/as herself: “This is ridiculous. I don’t know where I am! I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!” and Louis praises her ‘performance.’ HAHAHAHAHAHA.

“GENIUS! THAT IS GENIUS! RIGHT ON THE MONEY, BABE! RIGHT ON THE MONEY!”

I’m not even sure how to review the next part of the episode because the performances truly speak for themselves and I gotta stop myself from typing out a transcript of the whole thing, lol. Basically, Louis goes into full meltdown mode. Freaking out over Tawny saying “Hi, Cowboy” instead of “Hello,” Twitty’s unauthorized addition of a gold tooth for his cowboy, and Ren interrupting a scene. “PEOPLE, THIS IS NOT A DEMOCRACY. THIS IS A MOVIE. IT’S MY MOVIE. WHICH I WILL NOT LET YOU MESS UP!” He instructs Twitty and Tawny to meet him outside for a saloon scene. Except Louis doesn’t have saloon money:

Twitty: “Louis! What is this, man? Where’s the rest of the saloon?!” Louis: “CUT! Twitty, it’s a close-up. No one’s gonna see the saloon!! Let’s try it again. But this time, give me a little more.” Twitty: “More what?!” Louis: “JUST MORE!!!!!!”

-- Louis Stevens, everyone. The greatest director of our time. 10/10 would recommend.

We get possibly the greatest line in the whole episode when they start filming and a lawnmower revs up as soon as Louis shouts ‘action.’ He cannot believe the audacity of his neighbor and shouts “WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS THE NOISE?! WHO MOWS THEIR LAWN ON WEDNESDAY?!?!?!” Things only get worse when the sprinklers randomly turn on too. At this point, Louis is #confirmed crazy.

“TOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I also love Louis’ little toilet paper roll that serves absolutely no real purpose.

The next day, they move on to filming the big finale scene where Zenobia the Alien takes off in her spaceship, leaving her cowboy lover behind. Louis originally intended for it to take place during a harsh winter blizzard and assigned Tom the responsibility of making convincing snowflakes. Tom shows up with this:

“TOM, YOU CHOWDERHEAD! I ASKED FOR SNOWFLAKES, NOT DOILIES!”

Louis has no choice but to ditch the blizzard and changes it to “a blazing desert windstorm in the middle of fall.” Okay. Zenobia’s spaceship is a tiny tinfoil thing way up in the trees and Tawny’s like “......how am I supposed to get up there?!” and Tom arrives with a “harness” that’s actually just a freaking elastic luggage rope as if that’s going to handle Tawny’s weight. But Louis assures her “of course it’s safe!!!” because he had Tom test it on a 20-pound sack of potatoes. Sounds legit.

Is he gonna add that “blazing desert windstorm” in post, or?

They start filming and sure enough, the “harness” breaks and Tawny falls a good 8 feet to the ground. Louis couldn’t care less though and the gang is D O N E with him at this point. They all quit the project on the spot, leaving Louis to finish the movie himself. Tom was the last one to quit and it’s pretty sad. Louis immediately looks to Tom as a last resort and expects him to step in and help finish the movie, but Tom flat out says “you’re only nice to me when you want something” and Louis has no remorse like “yeah, so?” -- This is the only part of the episode that kills me. But even so, you can tell that Louis is realizing the error of his ways pretty quickly.

Louis left sad and deserted. “I CAN FINISH THIS MOVIE BY MYSELF!!! .....It’s my ‘thing’.”

Unfortunately, finishing the movie himself includes having to play every role himself as well. Louis is confident that if he shoots at the right angle and disguises his face and voice, no one will be able to tell the difference: “It’s called Movie Magic.”

Ren: “I’m sorry, little three-eyed girl, but do you know where my brother is?”

It cuts back to the subplot. Remember how Ren wrote a hypothetical note to Bobby just to get her thoughts down? Well, she gave it to Ruby to read and Ruby proceeded to stuff it into Bobby’s history textbook without Ren’s permission. Great job, Ruby. Unsurprisingly, Ren is livid. I would be too. Ren is a mess during history class, sweating the moment when Bobby will take out his book. So she crawls on the ground and tries to sneakily retrieve the note from his backpack. This is pretty funny. Her teacher is the same hippie guy, Todd, and this time he’s making Ren’s class do stretches “for knowledge, focus, and concentration.” Once Ren is spotted on the ground lookin’ like a weirdo, she makes up some bogus excuse that she was “squatting for truth!” HAHAHA.

She’s unable to get the note back in time, but amazingly... the note isn’t even in Bobby’s book! Turns out Ivan and Bobby bumped into each other in the hallway earlier and accidentally swapped books in the process. Therefore, the note was delivered to Ivan. You guys know I love a good miscommunication plot. They never fail to make me laugh. Ivan dramatically approaches her later and says “Ren... It needs to end. The looks in the hall, love notes...” I really love Eric Jungmann’s performance here. He’s pretty hilarious and obliviously arrogant, thinking that Ren is in love with him. One thing I never understood was how Ivan could think the note was written for him though? Because I’m SURE Ren must’ve written Bobby’s name somewhere on there! Unless she was keeping it super mysterious for whatever reason. Anyway, Ivan says “Please, Ren. Don’t speak. I’m gonna walk away now. Try not to watch me.” I love it. That’s the end of the subplot. Much like in Surf’s Up, I wish this miscommunication plot had more layers!!

Ren just stares at him all ~fake-emotional~ and lets him believe what he wants to believe lol.

CUT TO THE FILM FESTIVAL!!! Which takes place at the real-life Vista Theatre in Los Angeles. (Another filming location I’ve added to my bucket list, tbh.) Louis is clearly anxious while waiting around for the festival to kick off and is kinda dreading the ~big premiere~ of his million-dollar movie. He’s sort of standing there rambling random things off to people like ‘have your people call my people!’ and at one point walks alongside a guy and says “yada, yada, yada... let’s just talk about somethin’!” -- Seinfeld reference, anyone?! Crazy to think that the “Yada Yada” episode first aired a mere 4 years before this at the time. I just thought that line was another awesome, subtle thing to throw in and makes for a cool connection to Louis’ Kramer poster. Of course, Louis Stevens would casually quote Seinfeld! I bet it was an ad-lib, honestly. Shia’s the best.

In the end, Twitty, Tawny, and Tom eventually show up in support of Louis and his movie. Louis apologizes for acting like a jerk and Tom even vows to put “the snowflake incident” behind them. It’s a nice moment before the premiere of what might be the best worst movie ever made, only in competition with Tommy Wiseau’s The Room.

Let’s just say, “Three Eyes Wide Shut” premiered to... mixed... reviews from the audience. It's very embarrassing. We never actually see the finished product. They only show us a few scenes, which always bummed me out. So I took it upon myself to edit together what “Three Eyes Wide Shut” might’ve turned out like given everything we saw Louis film. And it’s... something:

vimeo

The intro alone kills me. You know a movie’s gonna be a doozy when the opening credits are typed in Comic Sans. Notice how at the very end Tom mispronounces his own name?! He definitely says “Tom Griblaowski.” Really weird.

Needless to say, Louis is absolutely mortified by how awful his movie was. He tries hiding by attempting to blend in with some cardboard cutouts in the lobby, but... you can kinda see him there.

Fun Fact: I was recently binge-watching “That’s So Raven” in preparation for the “Raven’s Home” spin-off, and I was so shocked to discover how many actors they recycled from Even Stevens. Beans, Cynthia Mills, The Asian radio announcer guy, the “Look Smart, Be Smart” instructional tape guy, Beans’ cousin Chris, Mr. Crappizi the school photographer -- the list goes on and on. And if that wasn’t enough... THEY EVEN RECYCLED THESE CARDBOARD CUT-OUTS!!!!!

I DIED LAUGHING AS SOON AS I SAW THIS. Oh my god. I obviously recognized it right away. All of this recycling makes sense though, as both shows were produced by Brookwell/McNamara. But, like... wow. Amazing. After the movie, Twitty and Tom try to make Louis feel better by telling him “You got into the festival, didn’t you?! And they only took the Top 10 entries!” Which would’ve been nice... except Louis explains “Everyone got accepted. There were only 9 entries.” HAHAHAHA. As Twitty and Tom head home, Tawny emerges from the theater and her mind is still reeling from the movie. She’s the only other person on the planet who understood the message Louis was trying to convey which is apparently “feeling like an outsider and wanting to be accepted by your peers.” Yeah, right.

I always thought it was a nice touch that Tawny wore a green shirt with eyes on it to the premiere of the movie. Definitely feels like a little tribute to Zenobia, lol.

This is really great though because it sets up Louis and Tawny again nicely. It further establishes that Tawny understands Louis better than anyone else. She got the point of his film when no one else did. She asks if they can watch it again and after they do, all we hear is a sultry voiceover of Tawny saying "I liked it even better the second time" - Oh, God. This always made me really uncomfortable lol. The episode ends with fake “bloopers” from the making of the movie and I can’t deal with it. Interestingly, I watched this episode on TV not too long ago and they cut out Tom's rapid-fire accented quote "Taco burrito, nacho's premio, $1.89 for a limited time, you know what I'm saying?" -- Is that considered offensive or racially insensitive now? I’m assuming. I have no idea but, I thought that was weird and suspicious.

And that’s it!

I love this episode. So, so much. There’s an aspect to it that is very ahead of its time. Like I mentioned, quality quotes are flying left and right in this one! The humor is ON POINT and the performances are stellar. Especially from Shia! I always say that this is one of the episodes where Louis is at his most ‘Michael Scott.’ There’s just this level of hilariously endearing narcissism that Michael exudes all throughout The Office’s run mixed with that signature dry humor and I get those vibes from Louis so strongly here. It makes me SO HAPPY. I mean, yeah, I usually don’t like it when Louis’ ugly side makes an appearance, but it’s beyond tolerable for me in this one because the plot is just so hysterical. As entertaining as Michael’s narcissism was, it also got him in a lot of trouble as well. Often resulting in very cringe-worthy moments or people resenting him, which we see happen to Louis here. Idk. I just love finding similarities between my favorite shows. This episode also reminds me of when Michael wrote and directed his own terrible movie “Threat Level Midnight.” HAHA.

I love Ren’s side story, too. It’s one of her stronger/funnier ones for sure. The miscommunication always gets me and the plot is also pretty important because we’re introduced to Bobby and Ruby! I’m ranking this one juuuuust shy of the Top 5 due to it having two separate plots. My Top 5 are all episodes that interweave A and B plots because I feel like Even Stevens just works better that way in general. But, still. That doesn’t take away from how solid this episode is. It literally meets all of my criteria: Personal favorite, quality plotline, quotable dialogue, hilarity, iconicness, overall entertainment value, and there’s even some character development too! So good.

Thanks for reading!!

Just so y’all know, I actually managed to get “Three Eyes Wide Shut” listed as a legitimate short film on IMDb. I am not kidding. Please feel free to leave a sarcastic review. It’s currently boasting a 6.0. LOL!

For this episode’s Redbubble design, you can get a reproduction of the Three Eyes Wide Shut theatrical poster!! Omg. This is one of the first things I designed and it’s been sitting in my Redbubble drafts for months. I’m so excited to publish it! haha. The poster can be seen on Louis’ bedroom wall throughout the series! I also made a little “A Louis Stevens Production” design (Comic Sans and poor capitalization and all) with Louis as the MGM Lion, lol.

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Redbubble

#rank #season 1 #even stevens #louis x tawny #louis and tawny #shia labeouf #louis stevens #ren stevens #tv review #disney channel #tom gribalski #alan twitty #tawny dean #bobby deaver #the office #michael scott #ruby mendel #ivan #that's so raven

6 notes · View notes

evenstevensranked · 6 years

Text

#9: Season 3, Episode 22 - “Leavin’ Stevens”

It’s the series finale!! Eileen is projected the winner of a major election for Congress, which means the Stevens family will be moving to Washington D.C. immediately. Pretty big deal. Our beloved characters must say goodbye to each other forever, but Louis can’t bring himself to move across the country without telling Tawny how he really feels about her.

Let’s talk about why this cinematic plotline would’ve made an infinitely better DCOM than The Even Stevens Movie.

This one opens with the Stevens family huddled together in the living room, anxiously awaiting the results of Eileen’s election. Riiiiight as the news reporter is about to announce the winner, Beans appears out of nowhere, grabs the remote and changes the channel to... Toon Disney?! They show a legit clip of Teamo Supremo (remember that show?! LOL) instead of some fake cartoon or something which is kinda cool. Granted, it’s a Disney cartoon, so they had the right to use it no problem -- but still! That show premiered in 2002 so I’m sure they threw that clip in there to promote it somehow. Otherwise, it’s just sorta funny to think Toon Disney and ABC (Disney Channel sister stations) exist in the Even Stevens-verse.

Beans, being the nuisance that he is, throws the remote into a skinny vase thing so Ren is forced to ~magically~ change the channel back manually.

Remember when you could change the channel with buttons on the actual TV? Good times. If you lose the remote these days, you’re pretty much screwed.

Thankfully, they turn back in time to catch the results: EILEEN WON! It cuts to her giving a little press conference outside where she announces that the entire family will be moving to Washington D.C. immediately so that she can get to work right away. This is insane news to Louis since he apparently had no idea that Congress was in Washington or that the whole family would need to move there if Eileen were to win.

It cuts to a very depressed Louis at school cleaning out his locker. Tom and Twitty are with him and Twitty is seemingly in denial about the whole situation, explaining that nothing’s going to change and that a few 14-year-olds can hop a flight to D.C., hang out with Louis and be home by dinner time easy peasy! Tom brings them back to reality by calling them “poor delusional fools” and it’s great. Tawny shows up and it’s time for “Romeo to bid farewell to his Juliet” (Tom’s words.) Oh, man. The rom-com drama kicks in here and I can’t get enough of it.

I’m guessing that this moment is the actual very last time they’re ever going to see each other?!?! So, the two of them are incredibly freaking awkward trying to say their goodbyes. I mean, how do you say goodbye forever to one of your best friends who is also obviously your crush in, like.. 30 seconds? They’re stammering and dancing around the idea of simply saying “I’m gonna miss you!” So, what do they do? They end up completely avoiding the situation by talking about how they’re going to miss the school cafe’s chili fries instead of each other. Clearly, that is not the last thing either of them wanted to say. As frustrating as this scene is, it’s pretty hilarious. Louis is all “I’m really gonna miss... y.......ahh... c..hili.... fries on Wednesday!” and Tawny just awkwardly goes along with it, “Yeah. I love those... They’re great.” HAHAHA. They proceed to engage in what’s gotta be up there as one of the most uncomfortable hugs of all time:

One thing this show consistently nails is middle school awkwardness. Louis & Tawny are lightyears ahead of me and my old crush though. He was moving to Deleware at the end of 8th grade and we didn’t even say goodbye to each other at ALL at graduation, omg. We just avoided each other entirely. The worst part is that we were side-by-side PARTNERS for the graduation march and we didn’t even speak to each other. The level of immaturity and awkwardness is unparalleled....

It cuts to Ren talking with Ruby and Monique who are also getting emotional over Ren’s impending departure. (“What are we gonna do without her?!”) Basically, the two of them are completely incapable of organizing their own lives and need Ren’s constant guidance. One of their biggest concerns is that the three of them previously waited 6 hours in line for Peachbox tickets and now they can’t go to the concert together. First of all.... WHAT OR WHO THE HECK IS PEACHBOX? For some reason, I’ve always imagined a knockoff Matchbox Twenty band simply because of the “box” connection lol. Buuuut, I’m gonna guess that it’s just a music festival or something. It’s not important in the grand scheme of things here.

We see Louis and Twitty walking home from school together and it’s a very somber stroll. Twitty says “I know you’re not the most romantic guy in the world (I BEG TO DIFFER, TWITTY!!!) but, do you really want the last thing you talk about with Tawny to be chili fries?” Obviously, Louis says no, but its too late! There’s nothing he can do at this point! Twitty dramatically says “No, it’s never too late...” and just WALKS AWAY!!!! Did he leave Louis in the dust?! Was that the last thing they said to each other?! What?! Did Louis and Twitty’s epic friendship just... end on a cryptic note for dramatic effect? Why am I just realizing this?

I’m laughing at the idea of this being their final exchange. “It’s never too late. Peace out, cub scout.”

Twitty’s dramatic last words kick Louis into rom-com leading man overdrive. As soon as he gets home, he sits down and starts recording a videotape for Tawny so that he can say everything he wasn’t able to in person. (See cover photo.) Oh, my lord. This is incredible. He starts off by saying that he’ll already be 2,797 miles away (he looked it up) in Washington by the time she sees the tape. “I didn’t want the last thing we talked about to be chili fries. So that’s why I’m doing this -- this tape, ya know? To tell you how I really feel...” And Shia is already hitting it outta the god damn park with his acting. The scene cuts after that, so we don’t get to hear the rest. Gotta keep us on our toes!

Louis meets up with Tom later and gives him the tape, instructing -- or rather, threatening -- him to personally deliver it to Tawny... OR ELSE.

“Tom, I’m entrusting you with this tape. Okay? So, if anybody else -- besides Tawny -- gets their hands on this... I will personally track you down and make you pay. You hear what I’m saying?”

There’s a little subplot with Donnie and Coach Tugnut, as well. Every character’s plot in this episode revolves around the Stevens family moving, which is kinda cool. We get to see how the potential change affects all of them! Coach Tugnut was planning on training Donnie for the Olympics, so he nearly has a heart attack when he finds out he’s moving. Steve decides to call his boss, Mr. Kupchack, and cuss him out because he thinks he’s never going to see him again. (Bad idea.) Louis has the Tawny situation. Ren has her friends. And of course, Eileen’s whole career is being uprooted.

Tugnut ultimately decides to uproot his life as well and drive all the way to Washington to continue Donnie’s training. There’s a pretty great final ~adult joke~ here. Tugnut says he talked it over with his wife, Tammy, and they agreed that a little break could be good. He explains that Tammy is busy with her own life, which includes working the night shift at Romano’s Pizza. But, Donnie’s like.. “Uh, Coach... Romano’s Pizza closed, like... 2 years ago” -- Insinuating that Tammy’s been cheating at night. “I’m sure there’s a logical explanation!” Tugnut concludes. Wow. I like this joke, though. It’s subtle and smart.

Right as Steve is fervently insulting his boss over the phone, Eileen comes running into the living room in a tizzy. She turns on the TV and calls for the entire family to come watch. In a “stunning and dramatic reversal,” a recount snatched victory away from Eileen and gave the congressional seat to some guy Charles Nuck.

Louis: “My tape!” Ren: “My friends!” Steve: “My job!” Donnie: “My coach!” Eileen: “My seeeeat!”

You can always count on Tom Virtue to go overboard with his performance. To be fair, Steve knows that he totally just lost his job. Soo...

So, yeah! We’re only 9 minutes into the episode and The Stevens family is no longer moving! Wexler is so elated to have Ren back, he’s all “I’d be lost without you!” -- Literally no one can live a productive life without Ren Stevens I guess. He does a little happy dance down the hallway but then stops in his tracks in horror when he sees Louis moving back into his locker. “Noooo!” HAHAHA.

“WHYYYYYY?!” -- I just really wanted to include this screenshot. Notice how Louis is unpacking a giant thing of syrup! Leftover from Lumberjack Club, I presume?

Twitty stops by and Louis is in damage control mode. “I have a problem. I did the worst thing I could possibly do.” Twitty says “Dude, everyone gets gas climbing the rope in gym, it’s okay.” HAHA! For some reason I never really noticed that line before. It’s great. Of course, Louis explains that he gave Tawny a tape telling her how he really feels. Twitty asks how bad it is and if he dropped the “L-Bomb.” (“Did ya tell Tawny that you loved her?”) And Louis is officially freaking out. OHHHHHH MYYYY GODDDDDD. Scenes like this make me think that Even Stevens was more of a ~bro show~ kinda. I wonder if guys across the country related to this or not.

Ren’s little ~storyline within the storyline~ could’ve been a lot better. As usual, she got the short end of the stick for her final hurrah in the series. She ends up finding a replacement of herself for Ruby and Monique named Denise who is seriously controlling and super creepy. After they find out the Stevens are no longer moving, Monique and Ruby really don’t want to go to the concert with Denise anymore. So Ren eventually finds replacements for Ruby and Monique as well so the three doppelgangers can go together instead. It’s trippy. And that’s pretty much it.

Louis talks to Tawny later that day and finds out that Tom already delivered the tape. Yikes! Tawny doesn’t know what's on the tape though and doesn’t think much of it either. She’s assuming that it’s probably a nature special or Doris’ 40th birthday. And Louis quickly interjects “Good party! That was a good--” and awkwardly cuts himself off. Shia’s phrasing. It’s so good. I laughed pretty hard. Anyway, Louis is officially on a mission to retrieve the tape before she has a chance to watch it and calls Beans for help. Beans is at school when Louis calls his cell phone, and um... Beans is 8 years old. Why does he have a cell phone in 2002? Also, he should be in 3rd grade. Does this look like 3rd grade to you?!

That teacher is reading a baby storybook to them. This never seemed right to me lol. Also, that super tall kid in the middle is at least 11 years old. Come on now. ALSO they make a point to show that every kid in the class has a cell phone, too. Perhaps this show was simply ahead of its time AGAIN, showing us that soon technology will consume all of our lives at every age. 8 year olds have iPhones nowadays.

To sum it up, Louis has Beans climb into Tawny’s bedroom window to steal the tape back. This is the only episode where we see Tawny’s bedroom and much like the part of her house we saw in Thin Ice, it suits her personality perfectly and I love it.

Louis is relieved to have the tape back, but once he gets home he notices the tape is actually labeled “To: Louis.” OHHHHHHHH BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! HEREEEE WEEEE GOOOOO! I’ll let you watch this truly iconic and emotionally taxing scene play out for yourself:

youtube

Can you say SOULMATES?! What are the odds they’d both decide to confess their feelings via videotape? Well, besides it being an uber romantic plot device lol.

The episode ends with Louis and Tawny at their lockers, smirking knowingly at each other because they know they’re in love now lol. It’s precious. It’s still a little awkward because it’s like “ok, we love each other or whatever... now what?” So, in true Louis & Tawny fashion Louis says “Soooo... I hear they’re having chili fries at lunch today.” And Tawny whispers “Cool. I love chili fries.” The two of them laugh at how well they know each other and walk off hand and hand into the sunset. All is right with the world.

How sweet are they?! Seriously one of the most underrated pairings everrrrr. Tawny’s jeans though. I never understood the 2000s fashion trend that was distressed markings on the BUTTCHEEKS of pants! It looks absolutely terrible.

The final minute bit is Tugnut crying “DonnnieeeeEE!” all alone at the Washington monument lol.

This is probably the most cinematic episode of Even Stevens. This thing plays out like a freaking movie. Honestly, if they fleshed out the plot a little more and added a few twists and turns that I can’t think of because I’m not a screenwriter -- I firmly believe this would've made for a better and more satisfying DCOM than The Even Stevens Movie. They could've ended the series with an episode built around a wacky plot like the vacation, (I mean, the dismal and beyond outlandish In Ren We Trust was the series’ penultimate episode so that wouldn't be a stretch...) and then have an original movie with heart and a story rooted in the characters. Am I alone here, or? Having the series end with Louis and Tawny getting together and then barely interacting in The Even Stevens Movie always pissed me off. The bit with the videotapes could totally compete with any blockbuster romance film, tbh. MOVIES end with characters finally getting together and it's the big, satisfying moment. Ending a SERIES like that, and then not doing anything with it in the big finale film is just frustrating. I wanted to see what became of Louis and Tawny: The Couple.

This 8-second scene of them in the chair is the extent of their interaction in the movie. Along with two “right next to papa” lines from Louis, which Tawny sorta reacts apathetically/sarcastically to. That’s literally it.

I’ve mentioned before that people tend to write-off Even Stevens as nothing but a wacky show to watch if you want to turn your brain off. But, there’s so much heart here and great characters that are overlooked! Having such a crazy movie for the big ending just solidified that Even Stevens = Dumb and wacky TV show, in the memories of many. Which is perhaps the reason why the show isn’t remembered as widely or fondly in comparison to other live action Disney shows of the era. This could also contribute to its underratedness. It’s just not the DCOM we deserved. Even I remember thinking “this looks stupid” when I first saw the promo trailer for the movie as a kid. But this series finale episode felt more like a movie to me than the DCOM ever did! It almost seems like it was intended to be a film but they cut out a bunch of it. It feels really rushed. One minute the Stevens are moving and the next they’re not. There’s so much more tension and emotion that could’ve been built if the idea of them moving lasted longer than 8 minutes, haha. Idk. This just feels like a plot that deserves more than 21 minutes to unfold and breathe.

I kinda adore this episode. To this day it still manages to squeeze a lil’ tear outta me. I really can’t stress enough how sublime Shia’s acting on the tape to Tawny is. If the scene was longer, it could totally rival his romantic monologue in Disturbia (which some people have performed for acting auditions!!!) I wanna see people do a “Louis Stevens monologue” for auditions, man! lol. The day I see a modern Disney kid pull this sort of scene off with the same level of maturity will be the day hell freezes over. I love that Shia gave his all to this role. Even though ES was “just a Disney show” he treated the material with the weight it deserved and I really appreciate that. It’s what helps make Even Stevens more than “just a Disney show” and why it’s still great, if not better, in 2018.

This episode makes my Top 10 because, like I said, it has such a movie feel to it and one of the strongest/most engaging plotlines in the entire series. I might’ve ranked this one even higher if Ren had a better final plot. They could’ve had a double romance dilemma with Ren and Larry getting together as well or at least a cute moment where they finally end their rivalry, but nooooooooo! The pressure of moving forced Louis & Tawny to confront their feelings, they could’ve done the same thing with Ren and Larry. If this episode had a Ren/Larry subplot of any kind it would probably be my #1 lololol. The episode does have a lot going for it and so much potential though. I had to put it in the single-digits.

The Louis/Tawny content here is OBVIOUSLY of the highest quality. Hands down the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen on the Disney Channel at least. The videotape(s) is like a grand gesture, but also small and intimate at the same time. Per-fect. The acting is especially great here, from both Shia and Margo. I mean, these performances could stand up against any "adult” comedy TV show, heck.. they’re probably better honestly. They’re seriously killin’ the game and they’re both 16/17 years old here. So underrated. Even Stevens deserved to be picked up by a major network. Imagine what it might’ve been like on ABC, CBS, or NBC? Dang. It’d be the cult classic it deserves to be today.

Thanks for reading!!

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Redbubble

10 notes · View notes

evenstevensranked · 6 years

Text

#11: Season 3, Episode 11 - “Hardly Famous”

An off-brand Harry Connick Jr. comes to town and holds auditions at LJH for a new performing arts school! Seeking change in her life, Tawny decides to audition and kills it! Louis’ world crumbles around him at the thought of her transferring -- to the point where he’d do anything to get into that school. ANYTHING...

This one opens with a handsome and famous guy by the name of Barry Hudson Jr. (who’s definitely supposed to be a “Great Value” Harry Connick Jr.), arriving at LJH in a freaking chopper lol. Of course, Ren is right there alongside Principal Wexler to welcome him! We learn that he’s there in search of talented recruits for a new performing arts school dubbed the Sacramento Arts Conservatory for Creative Youth a.k.a. “SACCY” (pronounced “sassy,” of course.) This is a very important moment because Barry asks Ren if she’ll be auditioning and she says “Um, no. I wish I could, but auditions are only for 7th and 8th graders,” yet Ren is still a student at Lawrence. This is subtly confirming once again that LJH does, in fact, include grades 7th-9th! Meaning Louis and his friends have moved up to 8th grade. I wonder why they never made a big deal about that or acknowledged it clearly? I feel like it would’ve been a good plot point for an episode or at least a passing comment like “We’re EIGHTH GRADERS NOW, guys! We’re no longer the Scrubs of the school. We’ve got the fancy bathroom with assorted toiletries!” I could totally see Louis saying something like that as a callback to Easy Crier, lol. Oh well. The common misconception that they stay in 7th grade for the whole series lives on...

Hello, Not Harry Connick Jr. Nice to meet you!

Ren is scheduled to be Barry’s “coordinator” for the duration of his stay, I mean... who else?! Actually, I’ll tell ya who else... State Senator Eileen Stevens shows up outta nowhere and gushes over Barry, claiming to be his biggest fan. Ren claims to be a big fan too, which is kinda weird? If he is based on Harry, he would’ve been around 36 at this point in his career and Ren is like... 15. But then again, Wexler mentioned that Barry is a Broadway star and we know that Ren is into opera and theater. So, maybe that makes sense. Anyway, Eileen mentions that she sponsored the bill that funded SACCY which is pretty cool imo, but she ends up fangirling and offers to give Barry a tour of the school as an excuse to spend time with him because she’s State Senator Eileen Stevens and can do whatever she wants.

It cuts to Tawny and Tom in the hallway chatting about SACCY. Tom’s planning on auditioning with a tap dance routine, but Tawny says he should sing instead because that’s really his “strength.” We’ll get to THAT later, lol. Tom is excited about the idea of going to school with ~sophistated artistic~ kids. Tawny tries to argue that there are kids like that at Lawrence, but right about then is when Louis and Twitty come walking over holding a “gum blob” made up of used gum they’ve collected from every nook and cranny around the school. Very sophisticated, indeed. Needless to say, Tawny and Tom are disgusted.

Tawny and Tom both tossed the blob into the air after realizing how many diseases it might be carrying and Louis is about to have a heart attack. Also this screenshot makes it look like Shia doesn’t have legs below the knee? I’m perplexed.

At lunch that day, Louis is taunting Tom about wanting to go to SACCY and how embarrassing it would be. Twitty agrees and says “Everyone in that school is gonna be walking around in tights and feathered caps! Does that sound like fun?!” Tom slowly replies “Well..... What color’s the feather?” which cracks me up. There’s an immediate collective groan from Louis and Twitty which is great. Tawny defends Tom’s desire to attend a school where people “appreciate the beautiful things in life,” which... being talented and going to an arts school isn’t a prerequisite to appreciating the beautiful things in life but ok. Louis says that he finds used gum beautiful and Tawny has had enough.

It cuts to the audition room where everyone is setting up. Eileen returns with Barry after giving him that school tour which ran overtime because she didn’t know where anything was. Wow! Eileen also took this opportunity to invite Barry to dinner. Yikes!

The auditions start up and we get a montage. Louis and Twitty are sitting in to support Tom, but spend their time making fun of the other auditioners while they wait. You might’ve seen these gifs floating around the interwebz:

As you can see in the first one, Tawny is so over their antics. I love how they’re not even discreet about it tho?! Like, what the heck that’s so obnoxious to do while someone’s auditioning -- especially in a small classroom. I would’a kicked them outta there so fast!

It’s finally Tom’s turn to audition and Doris (who is played by Fred Meyers’ real-life mom, btw!!) is there to accompany him on piano lol. He performs “Dear Old Dad” which is about wanting to marry a girl who is just like your mom. Oh, my lord. Tom’s relationship with Doris is such a strange one. I can’t tell if it’s innocent or a ridiculously inappropriate obvious in-joke like Miranda Sings and Uncle Jim. Either way, he completely butchers the song and it’s fantastic. Part of me always assumed it was a song written for the show and the other part of me always hoped it was a real song. I never bothered to google it until today and I’m oddly happy to discover that it’s legit. After the audition, Tom casually says “So long, suckers!” as he walks off arrogant as all heck arm n’ arm with Doris. He thinks he’s got it in the bag. I can’t. Remember how Tawny said that singing is what Tom is best at? Imagine being so untalented that singing horribly is your strong suit.

It had to be gif’d because Tom is always quality content.

Louis and Twitty are about to peace out now that Tom’s audition is over, when suddenly... Tawny’s name is called as the next auditioner. AWWWWW, SNAP!!!! The slopski’s hit the fanski now, guys. The juicy drama has arrived. Tawny’s auditioning for the theater department and explains that her reasoning for doing so is because she’s “ready for a change.” Twitty is all “Dude, I think she’s serious,” and Louis retorts “OH, YA THINK SO?!” I love sarcastic Louis, man.

Tawny proceeds to perform the most melodramatic monologue from fictional production “Fried Green Magnolias” HAHA. (An obvious humorous combination of the films Fried Green Tomatoes and Steel Magnolias.) I have no idea how Margo Harshman kept a straight face when she hits the reveal “...he wasn’t just a turtle. He was my best friend” line. To be honest though, this scene is a great example of the stark contrast between the talent Disney Channel was churning out back then in comparison to now. Margo is playing a character within a character who’s also playing a character in this scene and she is selling the hell out of it. Whereas newer Disney actors can’t even pull off a regular ‘ol crying scene without looking like they’re laughing. So, yeah. Tawny kills the audition and everyone’s raving about her performance. Louis is immediately torn up about Tawny wanting to leave LJH and the fact that she’s pretty much a lock to get into the school.

My heart.

Louis approaches Tawny later that day and congratulates her on a great audition, but he’s clearly itching to know why the heck she wants to leave when Louis ~the love of her life~ Stevens is right in front of her, damn it! But of course, he’s not gonna come right out and ask that. Tawny is pretty dead set on transferring if she gets in. Louis beats around the bush saying things like “You realize what you’ll be leaving behind, right....? Like... Pizza Stick Thursday! And, ya know that water fountain on the 2nd floor? The water isn’t even brown anymore, IT’S JUST TAN!” Tawny is unimpressed and says that it’s gonna take a little more than “almost clear water” to make her stay. I always got a kick outta this, lol. She explains that she wants to be around people who care about things. So, basically, her decision was motivated by being fed up with Louis’ immaturity. You can tell that Louis is crushed about this. I love it. We’ve seen time and time again that Tawny’s opinion means the world to him.

It cuts to dinner that night at the Stevens house where Barry Hudson Jr. makes his grand appearance. Eileen and Ren are dressed to the nines and continuing to fawn over Barry. The best part of this bit is when Steve finishes preparing cheese and crackers and announces “I just cut some cheese in the kitchen. Why don’t we all go in there!” I love Tom Virtue. The tables eventually turn though when Barry recognizes Steve as Steve “Stiffy” Stevens (which is definitely another innuendo) from his football days when he played for Michigan State. Apparently, that’s Barry’s alma mater and now he’s the one totally fanboying.

The dinner turns into a nostalgic football sesh between Barry and Steve, leaving Ren and Eileen totally ostracized lol. Louis interrupts and pulls Ren aside to talk. This is really where the episode starts tugging at the heartstrings. Louis pretty much begs for her to help him get an audition for SACCY. Ren immediately knows that the real reason he wants to audition is because of Tawny, she thinks it’s sweet of him -- but all of the slots are already taken. Louis will not take no for an answer and we get one of the greatest moments that foreshadowed Shia LaBeouf’s future. He shouts “JUST DO IT, REN! If ya say ya can, ya can!!!” I made a Vine about this and it was my Vine claim to fame with nearly 1M loops. *takes a bow.*

Ren ends up working some magic and gets Louis an audition the next day. Oh, man. This is so great. Louis drags Twitty into it and the two do a totally improvised interpretive dance narrated by Tom. Tom also has an incredible line before they start the audition: “I’d just like to take this opportunity to say that although I was not selected to attend SACCY, I bear no ill will towards Barry Hudson Jr. or any member of his family.” He says it in the most menacing and creepy voice. TOM IS THE BEST. Louis and Twitty begin their audition and, well... It’s one for the books...

youtube

I’ve flip-flopped over how I feel about this scene. I used to be in absolute stitches, then I thought it was cringy for a while, but now I’m back to dying laughing. This is definitely one of the best moments ever, lol. Doris rocked that banjo solo.

Tawny is me when she witnesses the audition and accepts the fact that she’s unconditionally in love with Louis and the great lengths he’ll go to in order to stay close to her. She kinda melts there for a sec. Same.

Later that day, Louis comes to terms with Tawny possibly leaving and decides to be mature about it and wish her good luck. But Tawny lies and says she didn’t get in. “It’s okay. I don’t mind staying here with.... my friends. :)” she coos, and the emotional piano kicks in as Tawny heads outside to catch her ride home. I’d like to point out that Tawny has a goofy picture of Louis in her locker here. Precious. She also has a photo of her and Popular Mute Tad Taylor from the Sadie Hawkins Dance too! As well as a photo of the first show The Twitty-Stevens Connection played together. Ahh. I love these tiny details. Again, it makes the show’s universe feel more authentic.

Just then, Louis runs into Ren and rants to her about Barry Hudson Jr. not knowing what talent is! (“Uhhh... You really stunk up there,” / “No, no, no. Not me! Tawny!”) hahahahaha. He’s so confused as to why she didn’t get in because “her audition was awesome.” Ren agrees and discloses “yeah, that’s why she got accepted. But she told me she wasn’t going...” Louis puts two and two together and runs after Tawny in true rom-com fashion. I’m a sucker for this. He catches her right as she’s getting into her mom’s car and the lil lovebirds share an ~emotional~ glance across the parking lot.

THE MOST UNDERRATED DISNEY CHANNEL PAIRING OF ALL TIME RIGHT HERE!!!! What a love story, tbh.

And that’s it!

The final minute bit is Louis deciding to give up the gum blob and pass it down to Beans. Undoubtedly because owning a gum blob is immature and Tawny makes Louis wanna be a better man basically. Gotta love dat development.

Note the sad clown painting on Louis’ wall! He painted that back in Season 2′s “Ren-Gate.” Such a small detail I never noticed before. Love it!

This was always one of my favorites. I love this episode. Mainly because of the Louis/Tawny storyline, of course. I thoroughly enjoy seeing hopeless and confused Louis here doing everything in his power to stay close to Tawny and ultimately grow up a bit in the end. The dinner with Barry is probably the lowest point, but it doesn’t go on for too long so I’m not bothered by it. This is just a solid episode all around. It’s got character development, ace comedy, emotional weight, and a few great quotes!

Thanks for reading! We’re officially hitting the Top 10 now and I cannot believe it. Wow.

Don’t forget about the Disqus comment section below ;)

Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | Redbubble

9 notes · View notes

evenstevensranked · 6 years

Text

#17: Season 3, Episode 18 - “Stevens’ Manor”

With the house to himself for the weekend, Louis decides to open up a bed and breakfast to afford a snowboarding trip for the gang! What could possibly go wrong?!

I’ve been meaning to tell you guys to ignore any typos in my reviews within the first day or so of them being posted. It takes a few read-throughs for me to catch any/all errors.

That being said...

This episode opens with the subplot. Although, this is yet another one where the subplot and main plot work together super well. I’ve noticed that this is becoming a theme with these higher-ranked episodes. Huummm.

It starts off with Ren spying on Ruby breaking up with some random guy Dexter. Her oh so serious, love of her life boyfriend of 4 days. Sounds about right. This show seriously nails how ridiculous middle school ~relationships~ truly are. Ruby is devastated, so Ren presents the idea of turning their upcoming weekend sleepover into girls night complete with nail polish, magazines and ice cream! Yeeee!

Ruby clearly shocked and offended by Dexter’s decision to end it. We don’t actually hear the conversation, so this exaggerated expression really gets the point across.

It cuts to Louis, Twitty, Tawny, and Tom (who I will refer to as “the gang” from this moment forward) discussing how badly they want to go snowboarding at some lodge. Tawny estimates that it’d cost around $200 per-person, and I mean, what 13-year-olds have that sort of money laying around? I’m a grown adult and I can’t even afford Starbucks on some days. So, yeah. To any sane person, the idea would be totally off the table and seem completely farfetched... But not to Louis Stevens!! He’s all “Oh, it’s no problem” as he runs to answer a call on the school’s payphone, which is the millionth thing that closet space next to the stairs has been used for. The call is from someone looking to book a reservation at Stevens’ Manor. I really hope that payphone has a different number than the school and that Louis didn’t give out Lawrence Jr. High’s number as the contact info for “Stevens’ Manor.” I can’t.

He explains to the gang that Steve and Eileen are going away for their anniversary, Donnie has an away game, and Ren is sleeping at Ruby’s... which means he’s got la casa all to himself. Twitty asks how he’s gonna get his parents to actually let him stay home alone though... and like??? I know that Louis can get a little crazy, but does he really need a freaking babysitter or something? Actually, wait. What am I talking about?! He immediately seized the “home alone” opportunity to turn the house into a bed and breakfast. Here we go again with the give Louis Stevens an inch and he will take 100,000 miles trope, lol. His plan is to fake cry to Eileen about wanting to come with her and Steve and not wanting to stay alone, before deciding to be ~strong~ and stick it out. Steve even calls Louis a “soldier” for it, haha. Okay. Whatever works I guess! I’d like to point out this kinda ugly transition they do of Louis smirking about his plan, to the moment where he’s actually executing it. It’s so weird looking omg.

That morph tho. I guess the editing job isn’t too bad for 2002... but dang, it’s just slightly unsettling to me lol.

I like how this episode basically jumps right into the plot asap! We’re only two minutes in at this point and the BnB transformation is already underway! Eileen and Steve ultimately leave and trust Louis to man the fort of course, and the birth of Stevens’ Manor happens the second they’re out the door -- courtesy of a short montage. Louis must’ve been preparing for this bed and breakfast idea for a long while, just waiting around for the opportunity -- because he has shirts embroidered with a fancy “SM” ready to go for him and his friends to wear! He’s even set up the technology to accept credit cards. Louis Stevens does not play!

The first guests arrive and I’m assuming it’s supposed to be a joke when Louis greets them “Welcome to Stevens’ Manor! You must be the Mannings!” lol. The Mannings are an older couple made up of a “fellow Lou” Louis and his wife Edna. This information is vital for later on. When they’re shown to their room, (which is Louis’ bedroom transformed into the “Lincoln Bedroom” lol) Edna says “This is even cozier than the pictures we saw on the internet!” WOW!!! Louis really did have this planned! He probably whipped out a www.stevensmanor.com domain for this. How did he rearrange and clean his room with enough time to take the photos, post them, and get hits on the website (in 2002, mind you) without his parents noticing though? That stuff took tiiiime back then. Not to mention cleaning that filthy room of his would require the help of a garbage company! Oh, well. That’s an irrelevant detail. I told you he’d been preparing for this moment!

Where did he get that bust of Lincoln (see 2 photos up) and that painting too? I searched out of curiosity and found this near-exact bust which costs $850!!!!! That thing better be some cheap plastic knock off because something tells me Louis somehow spent more money on making the place look legit than he’ll ever make back from it lol.

The next guest is a woman named Mrs. Colepepper. What is up with these writers and throwing the word “pepper” into last names? We already have Ryan Zellpepper and now we’ve got this lady lol. I also just realized that both of these characters are black... not that that means anything at all. It’s just randomly sort of interesting imo.

The last main guests are a pair of twin teenage boys and their parents. Now, Even Stevens is good at not double casting people (a.k.a being weird and having the same actors play two or more different characters throughout the series and hope the audience doesn’t notice) -- But they messed up here and I gotta call it out!! They’re acting like this is the first time we’ve seen these twins, but they actually already made an appearance as LJH students back in Season 2! Their first appearance is literally sooo brief that only a weird superfan like me would notice, but yeah.

The twins in this episode.

The twins in Season 2! We haven’t covered this episode yet so I feel really weird including a screenshot but.. lol.

There’s this short scene where Louis introduces Tawny as the Manor’s “human jukebox” because apparently she’s a piano wiz and knows “all kinds of songs” (Also, where’d Louis get the grand piano?! haha) One of the twins sarcastically asks “Does she know ‘I hate it here, we should’ve gone to Hawaii’?” And Tawny adlibs a song “I hate it here, we should’ve gone to Hawaii, where they say Aloha and roast little piggies!” This one line always gets stuck in my head. Always. I’m tempted to continue writing additional lyrics just to give myself more to sing.

There’s also a fantastic bit here of Tom arguing with Mrs. Colepepper about the pulp in her orange juice. I can’t even explain it, all you have to know is that it’s amazing. Also, Louis tells the twins to check out the “Rec Room” and hands them two ping-pong paddles. They’re like “All you have is a ping-pong table?” and Louis says “Yeah... Well... I never said anything about a table. So.” IT ALWAYS GETS ME! It’s such a small line, but I love it. ALSO Beans is the BnB’s “licensed masseuse.” Right.

At Ren and Ruby’s sleepover, Ruby gets a make up call from Dex and they talk on the phone all giggly for an hour and a half. Ren is fed up and decides to head home. Safe to say Ren was in for a surprise when Mrs. Colepepper was asleep in her bed...

Louis tries to explain the situation to her and of course, Ren is vehemently against it until she sets her eyes on the ~gorgeous~ twins. As they’ve already stated -- The twins hate it there, so she catches them juuust as they’re about to check out. Ren literally referred to these guys by name in S2. They were some weird names like “Mosh and Stosh”?! lol, Smosh. But now she’s acting like it’s the first time she’s ever seen them in her life and it always bothered meeeeee.

Something that kills me about this bit is when their father says “The boys just aren’t happy here. I kinda have to agree with them. Your kiddie pool hardly qualifies as an ‘aquatic center’ so...” -- LOUIS REALLY PUT “AQUATIC CENTER” as a selling point knowing that all he had was a kiddie pool.

Imagine showing up to a BnB where this is the advertised “aquatic center.” I am dying of laughter. First the nonexistent Rec Room, now this. I can just hear Gordon Ramsay ripping this place apart on an episode of Hotel Hell.

Ren immediately tries to persuade the twins to stay for obvious reasons by bribing them with lame board games, but they apparently reciprocate her attraction and decide to stay. The fictional board game they pick to play is The Organ Donor Game (sounds like a fun time???) and it’s so suggestive. Ren says “Ooo! You landed on my kidney. That’s gonna cost ya! No cheating and... Hands off my pancreas” in the most sultry voice ever. Like... WHAT?! The doorbell rings while they’re playing and it’s Ruby coming over to apologize, but she too decides to stay at the Stevens’ once she sees the twins. Wow. I love how a fan is always conveniently there to blow Ruby’s hair dramatically whenever she sees a guy she likes.

It happened the moment she developed a crush on Louis, too. And, uh... Didn’t Ruby JUST GET BACK TOGETHER with Dexter like, an hour ago?

Meanwhile, Beans is giving Louis Manning a massage by walking on his back in hiking boots??? Beans just further solidifying his place as “The Worst” in my heart. Old Louis (which is what I’ll call him now I guess) gets his back thrown out thanks to their wonderful, 8-year-old, obviously not licensed masseuse. This place is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Eileen decides to call home and check in with Louis, which creates one of my favorite situations everrrrrrr in the series. Y’all know I love when shows highlight the comedic side of miscommunication, and this is probably Even Stevens’ best stab at it. Edna is the one who answers Eileen’s call and all hell breaks loose when Eileen asks for Louis. “Louis hurt his back, he’s in a great deal of pain right now.” Edna explains. And Eileen says “You tell him I’ll be there in two hours and that I love him very much!!” Of course, Edna thinks Old Louis is cheating on her with some woman named Eileen and it’s great.

Louis (Stevens lol) overhears the conversation and starts freaking out because how the hell are they gonna get all of the guests out of the house and revert it back to the way it was when it’s only midnight? That’s when Ren gets the brilliant idea (no seriously, it’s brilliant) to set all of the clocks forward to 7am checkout time! Oh my freaking god. Most of the guests have only been asleep for an hour or so, and suddenly they’re being told breakfast is ready. It’s absolutely hilarious! “Skies will be mostly... dark” Ren informs them of the days’ weather, omg.

There’s no way they have enough time to serve everyone a full breakfast, so they shove all the food into a blender and give it to the guests as the “Deluxe Breakfast Combo To-Go!” Seriously, Gordon Ramsay would have a field day with this.

They pretty much scream at the guests to “move it!” and get outta the house at midnight while they’re all still in their pajama’s and disoriented. Even if it was 7am, this is some terrible service. At this point, I’d give Stevens’ Manor a generous zero stars on Yelp.

Amazingly, they get everyone out with enough time to hustle and clean up the house before Steve and Eileen get back! *Whew!* Louis and Ren scramble to explain the whole Enda lady who answered the phone situation and claim that she’s the school nurse. Steve is so confused, “The school nurse made a house call in the middle of the night?!” Honestly, though. Suddenly Edna walks back in the front door “Excuse me, I forgot my umbrella.” Haha. That’s when she and Eileen have their final brush with miscommunication. Eileen is all “Thank you for taking care of Louis!” and Edna says “Well, let me tell you something, Eileen. I have dedicated my entire life to taking care of Louis, so let me give you a little warning... STAY AWAY FROM HIM!”

Steve: “These school nurses are so protective...”

Steve and Eileen decide to head upstairs and go to bed immediately, to Louis and Ren’s relief -- which actually made me realize something... Where do Steve and Eileen sleep?! From what we’ve seen of the upstairs it seems to only have a bathroom and Louis, Ren, and Donnie’s rooms! I’ve never seen space or a door for a third bedroom up there! Omg. Maybe they have a secret bedroom in a hidden attic or something? Hey! They had a giant secret cave underneath their house. It’s possible.

The final minute bit of this episode is great. Steve and Eileen are watching some local news program and Mrs. Colepepper happens to be the host. She shares her experience at Stevens’ Manor and how she’ll never forget it in a strangely positive review segment. The best line is when she says “I don’t normally sleep through the night, but when my head hit the pillow -- the next thing I knew, it was morning!” HAHAHAHA. She makes a point to mention the “hip, young staff” and shows a picture of the gang (see cover photo.) And yeah. Steve blows a gasket.

THE END!

This is a great episode. I mean, really. It’s super memorable, funny, and it’s an awesome episode for the cast as an ensemble. I cracked up countless times writing this review! It definitely gets a lot of “iconic” points for sure. I just personally prefer episodes that have more of a story to them and focus on the characters. As great as this episode is, it’s definitely one of those wacky plots that could only make sense in crazy Season 3. But I gotta give it to them... This is such a wild and elaborate plot, but they somehow make you believe that Louis could’ve actually pulled this off irl. I’m sure there were some impressionable kids out there who entertained the idea of doing something similar themselves, lol. I want y’all to know that #17 isn’t a “bad” spot by any means. I feel like I say this a lot, but at this point in the countdown, everything seriously is pretty much top notch. I’m simply arranging the best of the best in an order I hope is both personal and objective. It’s a difficult line to straddle, believe me.

To top off the review, I’ve added not one -- but two Stevens’ Manor designs to the Redbubble shop!! AYYYYYYYYY! I got carried away. I’m actually really excited about these, haha! Ya can now get the main “Stevens’ Manor” design and the employee logo design printed on whatevaaa you want. Doing these reproductions of things that exist within the shows’ universe is so fun. I’m really trying my best to get as close to the way they appear on screen as I possibly can (with my limited photoshop skillz)

They’re available in the shop now! Yay!

Thanks for reading!!

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Redbubble

3 notes · View notes

evenstevensranked · 6 years

Text

#20: Season 2, Episode 14 - “Sadie Hawkins Day”

The Sadie Hawkins dance rolls around and Louis is expecting Tawny to ask him. He ends up blowing his chances with her by trying to seem desperately desirable to all the girls. He's left to go to the dance with Monique last minute.. and Tawny goes with some popular, shirtless dude Tad. Meanwhile, Ren’s stuck taking care of a pig. Seriously. So, let’s listen to some Relient K and get into the Top 20!

This one opens with Ren getting everything settled for the upcoming Sadie Hawkins Dance. Of course she’s in charge of it. Who other than Vice Principal Ren Stevens? We see that a pig has been delivered to the school a day early, so Ren is now stuck taking care of it for the rest of the episode. Ren honestly deserves better plots. Like.. what the heck. Louis gets an entertaining, romance-y main plot -- and Ren gets... a pig. Christy Romano even said in an interview recently that working with this pig was a low point in her career, lol. Wow.

A scene later, Tawny and Ren have a little conversation about the dance and Tawny mentions that she’s gonna ask Louis!! Yeeeee! She asks Ren if she’s gonna ask Bobby, but the melodrama strikes and Ren is all “That’s actually been over for a while...” EXCEPT!!! This episode initially aired the literal day before Sibling Rivalry, which is Ren and Bobby’s official break up episode. Seriously, Disney?! I will never understand why they jack up their airing schedules so bad. At least the order of my countdown inadvertently tackles these episodes sequentially! I’d also like to mention that Tawny says the idea of the girls asking the guys is cool, but states “I don’t do Hillbilly” with an air of disgust. I RELATE TO HER CHARACTER SO MUCH???

At lunch, 6 girls who have asked Twitty to the dance swarm him, anxiously awaiting his decision. This is one of those instances where you realize... Oh, right. Twitty is supposed to be cute and kinda popular even though he hangs out with the outcasts? Okay. Louis walks over with Tom and shouts to the girls “Hey, what’s up! I’m Louis!” The girls scatter and you hear one snicker “Yeah. No kidding! So what?!” HAHA. Louis is a little salty over the fact that not one girl has come “within 50 feet” of him, yet Twitty has 8 potential dates lined up. I think y’all know by now that if I were a student at LJH back in the day, I totally would’ve been that weird girl who asked Louis Stevens lol. Tom exclaims that the only other guy with as many offers as Twitty is Tad Taylor. Some popular dude we’ve never seen or heard of, who Disney clearly didn’t want to cut a check for because he never says a word.

Twitty himself is shocked that the Sadie Hawkins thing has suddenly turned him into a “babe magnet.” Tom interjects “I’m like a lint magnet! I mean, how am I getting this stuff all over my trousers?!” *whips out a lint roller and gets to work.* Gee, I wonder why Tom hasn’t received any invites!! Tom doesn’t understand it either! “Why do all the really good looking guys with sparkling personalities get all the girls?!” he asks. Which is possibly one of the greatest lines in the entire series. Louis is left wondering the same thing! So, Twitty reassures him that no girls have asked him because they all assume that Tawny will. :)

Later that day, the guys are hanging around Louis’ locker when Tawny starts approaching. Twitty tells Louis “This is it! She was just makin’ you sweat a little!” and Tom says yet another gem: “Yeah, ya know. Girls are always doing that! ...................*cough* or, so I’ve read.” Tom seriously has SO MANY incredible lines in this episode. I don’t know how I’m gonna make it through this review without quoting every single one. This is probably my personal favorite Tom performance ever.

Louis royally messes everything up. Tawny was totally going to ask him, until he tried to be over-confident. “Yeah, I figured. You wouldn’t believe how many girls have been asking me out to that thing. Can’t keep their paws off me!” Since Tawny is the greatest ever, she’s immediately turned off and doesn’t ask him. Yaaaasss, gurl.

Twitty: I said play it cool.

Tom: “Yeah, and you played the foooooool! ...Sorry. Ya know, I just like to bust the occasional rhyme.” -- I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW FANTASTIC TOM IS.

After school that day, the guys go to Louis’ house and spin a literal wheel of dates to help Twitty make a decision. We get yet another A+ Tom moment. “Big money, big money!” he shouts as it spins... and lands on DORIS!!! HIS FREAKIN’ MOTHER. The camera zooms in on her photo and it kills me. “Oh. *nervous laughter* Sorry. That... Must’ve fallen out of my wallet” is Tom’s excuse. I don’t even fully understand this comment or why the HELL Tom (or Twitty accidentally) would put her on the wheel to begin with, but it’s hilarious. Just because it’s one of my favorite moments, I have to gif it:

That zoom in is something straight out of The Office and Louis’ reaction is the best.

Just then, Donnie receives a phone call from a random girl who called to say he’s hot. Donnie tells Louis his appeal and ability to nab dates comes from giving off a “bad boy” vibe. Louis takes that information a little too far (as usual) and transforms into the most repulsive version of Louis Stevens ever:

First of all: He’s burping here. Secondly: Yeah, Louis. Dressing like a total bum from Middle of Nowhere USA with a taped-on anchor tattoo and bag of cheese puffs is really gonna reel in the ladies.

Obviously, this attempt at being a “bad boy” did not work for Louis. It did, however, work for Tom. Who looks absolutely amazing!! haha.

“Hu hu hu, au contriare pierre!” he says as Gwendolyn, his date, appears. Are we sure this chick isn’t at least 30 years old? Is that part of the joke? No way in heck she’s in 7th grade. I always thought that was a little disturbing, lol.

It’s weird because Louis is actually already a “bad boy” ...is he not? I mean, he’s not the stereotypical “bad boy” but it’s not like he’s a nerd. He’s always getting into trouble, always in detention, etc. I guess people like the idea and aesthetic of a bad boy instead of the real thing, ayyyy!

We get a montage of Ren trying to ask numerous guys to the dance but the pig keeps ruining everything for her. It eats one guy’s lunch, farts in front of another guy, and attacks some other dude. Which means that guy is really weak, or that pig is really strong:

If this were a lame sitcom someone would shout “Aw, shucks! That darn pig!!” and the audience would erupt in laughter and applause.

Louis runs into Tawny in the hall and tries to apologize for acting stupid earlier by yelling "WHY DON’T YOU JUST ASK ME!!!!” assuming she hasn’t asked anyone else yet. Wow, Louis. Wow. But Tawny, being the badass that she is, tells Louis “There’s one little problem with your logic... I do have a date. Bye.” Yes. Just, yes. Louis is left sulking on the floor when Monique approaches him. She’s trying to give him a bag of some pig food that Ren left in her locker, but Louis jumps to conclusions and is all “YESSS, I’LL GO TO THE DANCE WITH YOU!!” before she even says anything lol. Even though that wasn’t Monique’s plan, she agrees to go with him. So, in the end Louis basically asked a girl to the Sadie Hawkins Dance... that’s not how it works, Lou.

That banner tho... “GALS GIT YOUR’N FELLERS for the SADIE HAWKINS DANCE!”

CUT TO THE DANCE! Monique isn’t there yet. So, once Twitty and Tom arrive with their dates, Tom gives us his last great line of the episode: “I gotta say, we’re all a little worried about ya. Truth be told I had Doris on standby.” Louis is so insulted: “DORIS? YOUR MOM DORIS?! No, Tom. I’m NOT gonna go out with your mom!” -- The way Shia says this gets me every time. He informs them that he was “asked to the dance” by the head of the cheerleading squad -- Yeah, that’s a bit of a fib, Louis.. but I’ma let it slide. Louis thought he was going to the dance with a hot cheerleader.. but Monique shows up in full hillbilly mode.. complete with blacked-out teeth and everything. Meanwhile, Ren is stuck in the pig pen. She’s purposely dressed to kinda look like a young farm girl so this is one of the only times I’ve watched this show and thought “wow, Christy actually looks 14.″

Lawrence Jr. High is really dedicated to ~immersion~ I guess, because Principal Wexler gets up on stage and speaks in the most ridiculous southern accent. Like... I always wonder... How do people from the south feel about stuff like this? Wexler announces that the square dance caller for the night is STEVE STEVENS. Oh my freaking god. Steve is the best, hahaha. He pops up outta nowhere like “HOWDYYYYY” and a crowd of 30-something-year-old adult extras stare back at him, confused and unimpressed.

Yeah, Gwendolyn probably is 30+ years old.. because apparently the majority of LJH students are grown adults. Either that or... Did these adults not get the memo that it’s a dance for middle schoolers? Why is no one concerned that adults are partying it up with 13 year olds? WHO LET THEM IN?! *shrugs* But, seriously. Disney couldn’t find some KIDS to attend the dance? Come on, now.

Monique invites Louis to square dance with her and Louis says "I'm not a square dancer, I'm more of a circular kinda guy." Idk I just kinda like that line. Tawny shows up with her date, the popular silent boy Tad Taylor. She and Louis spend their night trying to act like they’re having a great time without each other. Tawny is specifically trying to make Louis jealous and it’s pretty great. They give us these dramatic slow-mo shots of them dancing and glancing longingly at each other from across the room. I love it. There’s also a bit where Monique takes the call “Swing your partner round’n round!” a little too seriously and I can’t help but laugh:

I will always be a sucker for a good obviously fake dummy gag.

That crazy swing ends with yet ANOTHER Louis stunt double flying into (and destroying) the pig pen. I seriously never realized how many stunts happen on this show!! There has literally been a stunt every week of this countdown as of late! Anyway, the pig gets loose, runs to the principal’s office, and starts oinking into the intercom. That’s basically the end of the pig subplot.

Louis is scarred from the twirling incident so he hides from Monique in a tiny, little pig house. For whatever reason, Monique looks for Louis in handfuls of hay! WHAT?! She literally holds some hay, looks at it and asks “Louuuuis???” I kid you not:

WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

She eventually finds him, of course. Right around then Wexler announces that it’s hitchin’ time! While Monique excitedly asks Louis to go get hitched, Tawny looks on and decides to get hitched to Tad before them as a way to get back at Louis... and it works. He’s all depressed watching the two of them up on stage. Monique can clearly see he’d rather be with Tawny so she encourages him “Go get her, cowboy!” So Louis ruuuuuuns up there and interrupts the “wedding.” Which is something else that must be gif’d:

“If ya’ll wanna get hitched, say waaAHHH-HOOO!” I love how Margo is laughing as she shouts “waaaahhh” lol. That zoom in on her confused face as Louis runs up there is too good.

Louis objects and claims “This whole wedding is a mockery!” To which Wexler says “Oooo! You’re a sharp tack, Stevens” as he points to a sign that says “Mock Weddin’s: 5 Cents.” That’s one of my favorite moments ever honestly.

Tawny pulls Louis off stage and out into the hallway where they end up having a really sweet talk where Louis admits to messing everything up. It’s so nice, complete with tinkering romantic piano in the background and everything, haha. I love their dynamic so much. So, yeah. They makeup and square dance the night away to royalty-free, generic bluegrass music.

And that’s it!

I like this one a lot. Tom pretty much MAKES it, he’s so good here. I obviously adore the Louis/Tawny content as well. It’s just a fun and solid episode overall, imo.

Question: Did your school ever have a Sadie Hawkins dance? I remember both Even Stevens and Lizzie McGuire (among other childhood shows, I’m sure...) had Sadie Hawkins episodes. So in Junior High, I remember waiting for my school to hold one but it never happened. For the longest time I was under the impression that Sadie Hawkins dances only existed on television. To this day, I still kinda believe that lol.

Thanks for reading! Chime in via Disqus below please. :)

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Redbubble

#rank #even stevens #disney channel #old school #shia labeouf #louis stevens #ren stevens #christy carlson romano #louis x tawny #louis and tawny #top 20 #review #tv review #retro review #comedy #tom gribalski #tawny dean #doris #season 2

4 notes · View notes

evenstevensranked · 7 years

Text

#26: Season 3, Episode 13 - “Boy On A Rock”

Louis is under the impression that Twitty's ex-girlfriend Allison is hitting on him judging by the looks they've been exchanging. A plot filled with wonderful miscommunication ensues! Meanwhile, Steve volunteers at LJH and Ren competes against Tom for a spot to march in the annual Rose Parade.

This one opens with Steve driving Louis, Twitty and Ren to school. Steve takes the opportunity to tell them that he’s signed up to be a parent volunteer at their school, to Louis and Ren’s absolute dismay. It’s pretty great when Louis asks if he’s going to embarrass them and Steve says “Well, that’s probably unavoidable.” Well, at least he knows. But, since he knows he’s embarrassing.. why can’t he make a conscious decision to dial it down?!

We see that Twitty is talking quietly on the phone to someone before he hangs up and reveals it was Allison and that they just broke up. I love this bit because it comes across as refreshingly grown-up. Another thing that feels more High School than Middle School to me. It’s also a very nice moment for Louis and Twitty’s friendship. Louis is super comforting and soft spoken here all “Dude, I’m sorry...” Awww. I love it.

At school, the flag core is rehearsing their routine for the annual Rose Parade. Coach Tugnut tells them, “Hey! Don’t get too cocky. One miss-twirl and, well..... We all know what happened to Shamski.” This is so funny. Whatever “unfortunate incident” happened to this Shamski guy has opened up a spot on the team. Literally no one else wants the spot other than Ren, so Tugnut is about to give it to her by default -- until good’ol Tom Gribalski comes jogging into the picture, late due to Opera Club running overtime, hoping to try out. Tugnut tells them both to practice and they’ll hold official tryouts after school.

Louis is in class about to take a quiz when Allison walks by the door and starts cheekily smiling at him. I swear to god this is so freaking funny. Louis does a double take because... why would she randomly stop and stare at him like that?! There’s this sultry, instrumental Spanish flamenco music playing and it kills me.

The girl is literally biting her lip... what de heck.

Of course, this is all it takes for Louis to start thinking he’s God’s gift to earth and that every woman ever must be after him. He goes to talk to Tawny about it and says Allison gave him “The Eye” which is great. Tawny thinks he’s being ridiculous so Louis is all “Sounds like you’re jealous that ~the ladies~ are checkin’ me out.” Oh my god. Tawny says “We had our little thing, and now we’re just friends. I’m fine if the ~ladies~ are checking you out” -- which we know is a lie but okay. Again, this all feels very high school to me and I love it tbh.

Later in the cafeteria line, Allison gives Louis another look. THE MUSIC KICKS IN AGAIN AND IT’S MY FAVORITE THING. This melody gets stuck in my head constantly. I just hum it and laugh to myself because it’s so dramatic and overly romantic sounding for this situation. Louis is now totally convinced that he’s not crazy and she’s definitely into him. Tawny’s had enough already and flat out asks Allison if she’s been checking him out and she says “I have. I like his look.” WELL, DANG. It’s amazing because as soon as she says that, one single chord from the flamenco guitar plays as she walks away and I die every time. This counts as music humor to me.

Louis gets lost in his thoughts and it zooms into his brain to show us these two elderly men chillin at a Deli discussing the current drama of Louis’ life. WHAT?!

This show is so freaking random. I don’t even know where they come up with this stuff. I used to think these guys were stupid and pointless, which they kinda are. Especially since we’ve never seen them before and they’re only featured in this one episode. But, the more I thought about it.. the more I started to find it hilarious. One of them thinks Louis should go for it and date Allison, the other thinks it’s wrong because she’s his best friend’s ex. Um, I agree with the latter. Twitty and Allison broke up THAT MORNING and Louis is already considering going in for the kill. I cannot. He’s insane. But that’s already been established many times and these Deli men are just the icing on the cake.

Just then, Steve busts out of the kitchen shouting “HOWDY, KIDS! STEP RIGHT UP TO BIG STEVE’S TEXAS BARBECUE!” Are you kidding me right now? Yeah, ya know how I said if Steve knows he’s embarrassing he should just do his best to dial it down? It’s like he purposely turned it up to 11:

I love how Shia does the shirt-over-the-head thing to hide from the embarrassment, lol.

Cut to the flag core tryouts. Ren tries her best, but of course, Tom blows her away. Some stock music that reminds me of “76 Trombones” from The Music Man plays while he does his routine, lol. Steve is now on trash duty and comes over to Ren and asks how it went. She says she’ll probably be watching the parade from home again and Steve is clearly a little mad. You can tell he’s gonna do something about it which... come on, man. Let the better person win. Coach Tugnut goes on to say one of my favorite lines when Tom asks which one of them made the team: “Well, I could tell you that right now... But it would be better for your character if I were to prolong the agony for a couple more hours.” So good. Tugnut says quite a few gems throughout the series, tbh.

Tawny is me once again and confronts Louis about him seriously considering getting together with Allison. She, too, agrees that it’s way too soon. It cuts to the Deli guys and one of them just says “What does she know?! Ehh, this corned beef is too fatty!” which just makes me laugh. Louis suddenly agrees about it being too soon and says he’ll put a stop to whatever’s brewing between him and Allison IMMEDIATELY. Just then, Allison approaches him and it takes all of 0.5 seconds for Louis to completely cave.

The flamenco music is playing again here, btw.

Honestly, y’all gotta hear what this music sounds like for yourself so it can be hilariously stuck in your head too:

Louis goes to the bathroom to talk to himself (and the guys in his head) out loud, as you do when you’re in crisis. Speaking of the bathroom, ya know how I’ve mentioned a few times that Louis moved up to 8th grade in Season 3? Well, this scene is one of the few that definitely confirm it!! The door clearly tells us that he’s in the 8th grade bathroom. Ayyyy!

Still not sure why the bathrooms are segregated like that tho??? Is that a thing?

Tom is in one of the stalls practicing his flag routine and Louis is shocked. He’s all “TOM! What were you doing in there?!” but Tom turns the tables “The better question is, who are you talking to out here?” Gotta love how Louis owns his craziness and explains “OH! Well, there’s these two old guys who hang out at a Deli in my head and help me out with lifes little problems.” Fantastic. Louis asks Tom where Templeton Park is and we get one of the best moments ever. (Tumblr won’t let me embed more than one thing, so click that link to see what I’m talking about. Tom is the GREATEST.) So, yeah. Louis finds out that people call it “Temptation Park” because it’s a popular makeout spot. Seriously, these kids are in high school ok. I refuse to believe otherwise.

Basically, to shorten and simplify this subplot: Steve bribes Tugnut with donuts so that Ren will get the spot on the flag core... which she does. Ren finds out and gets mad because she a very fair-and-square person. So, she in turn bribes Tugnut with a cheese calzone to ensure Tom gets the spot instead... which he does. THE END!

Ren handing her flag over to Tom -- whose life has just been made.

Louis is a nervous wreck around Twitty because he obviously knows that he should not be messing around with Allison in any way shape or form. So when Twitty asks if he wants to hang out later, Louis makes up some bogus excuse about needing to go sock shopping with his dad. Wow. As usual, Twitty knows that something’s up.

CUT TO ~TEMPTATION PARK~! The miscommunication culminates here and I love it so much. Louis meets Allison at the park and she lays out a blanket for them and everything. They get comfortable and she asks “Soo, you wanna try something fun?” and Louis’ voice cracks so bad when he answers “.......su..re....” Oh my freaking god. He’s totally thinking they’re about to makeout or something and it’s too much. It only gets worse when she asks him to slip into a bathing suit she brought with her. I’m dyin right now. The guys in his head are all “No good can come of this!!” - Ain’t that the truth. This is where Louis draws the line. He tells her that Twitty is his best friend and what they’re doing is VERY VERY WRONG. Allison is confused out of her mind like “....what are we doing?” Then we get one of my favorite Louis quotes:

I cannot get over how CONFIDENT Louis is?! He thought he could easily make a 36 year old woman fall in love with him. Now he assumes Allison can’t resist his gorgeousness as if he’s 1997 Leonardo DiCaprio. Chill, Louis.

It’s here that we finally learn the real reason why Allison has been checking him out and invited him to the park. She explains “I don’t want to date you, I want to paint you!” Louis is crumbling, oh man... And it only gets worse. She says she wants to recreate her favorite painting “Boy On A Rock” and she was staring at Louis so much because said boy on the rock is literally Louis:

I swear, if Shia had to actually sit for that painting... that is iconic and yet another poster that should exist if Even Stevens ever becomes as big as Seinfeld. Which it won’t. But still. I’d buy it. It’s actually a real painting by Dan Haberkorn, who was the art director for the show. He has it up on his website in high quality! It’s amazing. I so wish he’d sell prints/posters of it! Gah.

Allison just keeps going on about the similarities between Louis and the painting: “See? Not really handsome, kinda of quirky, a little off...” “OK I GET IT!” Louis interrupts, lol. That must’ve been a wakeup call. Since Louis stopped their non-existent relationship because of Twitty, Allison tells him he’s a very good friend. I like that. They’re cool after that and Louis poses for the painting. (cover photo) I love the quote here:

Allison: “Louis, you look perfect. Except you’re missing one thing...”

Louis: “My dignity?”

Twitty happens to be passing through the park and sees Allison running her hands through Louis' hair to make it look more like the original painting. Twitty gets pissed at Louis for lying which leads to the most ridiculous chase sequence. The way Shia runs is so funny, omg. There’s also some stock song that’s sung in gibberish or something that plays here and it always gets stuck in my head, too. Which sucks because there are no actual lyrics, lol. Louis falls into some mud while running which irks me every time. That poor bathing suit!

He ends up wandering into the middle of some girl scout meeting. They call him a mud monster, accidentally toss a cake on his head, and start chasing him as well, lol. These chases are also amazing because Louis is screaming the entire time, and we all know how great his scream is. Twitty eventually catches up to him and I love this dialogue so much:

Twitty: "So, why're you running?"

Louis: "CAUSE YOU'RE CHASIN' ME, TWITTY!"

My mom and I quote this at least once a week. This is a nice scene, though. The two of them have a heart to heart. Louis basically says it was stupid to let a girl come between them, so they agree that “from now on it’s friends first” -- Disney’s way of saying “bros b4 hoes” which is definitely what two 14 year old middle school boys would say instead.

Then the girl scouts catch up to him again and the episode fades out on Louis running from them:

Some say he’s still running today...

And that’s it! This is one of my personal favorites, guys. I LOVE the Louis plot here, haha. I’ve said before, I’m a sucker for teen drama and seeing Louis spiral into insanity over girls will never not be entertaining and endearing. I think this episode is funny, solid, fast-paced, and quotable! AND again, it’s a personal fave. This one has a lot going for it imo. It kinda kills me to place this one at 26, juuuust shy of the Top 25 (which, can you believe we’re about to hit the Top 25?! I can’t!) but yeah. I like this Ren plot too because it involves Tom and he is the best.

In case you missed the last entry you can read it here.

Thanks for reading!

Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

#rank #even stevens #season 3 #allison wong #alan twitty #louis stevens #shia labeouf #ren stevens #tom gribalski #christy carlson romano #disney channel #louis plot #steve stevens #tv review #tv shows #old disney #tania gunadi

4 notes · View notes

evenstevensranked · 7 years

Text

#29: Season 2, Episode 18 - “The Thomas Gribalski Affair”

Tom starts bonding with Steve and Louis quickly starts to become extremely jealous of their relationship. Meanwhile, Ren volunteers to lead the school bike safety demonstration even though she doesn't know how to ride a bike.

This one starts with Louis and Twitty at the Stevens house playing “Stinky Sock Ball” — some ridiculous game they created with a bunch of nonsense rules. I don’t even know. Tom is over and sitting the game out. “Pass. The last time I played Stinky Sock Ball I got a concussion. It’s been six months and I’m still a little woozy.” Gotta love Tom. This episode has his name in the title (a play on the film The Thomas Crown Affair I’m assuming), so ya know it’s gonna be good. Just then, Steve comes waltzing in super excited about this leprechaun whittling kit that came in the mail. He had plans to carve out the block with Louis, but of course.. Louis would rather play Stinky Sock Ball. Priorities. Tom seems interested in the weird hobby, so Louis suggests that the two of them hang out instead. Little did he know that one small decision would send him spiraling into jealous insanity. I’d also like to mention that the leprechaun’s name is “McStinker, The Town Drinker.” Okay, Disney Channel.

Next, we cut to Wexler’s office for the subplot. Ren and Larry are competing against each other once again. Wexler is looking for a student to lead the next safety demonstration and they’re both desperate to be selected. There are a bunch of other students there who are also willing to volunteer until Wexler says they’d have to give up a Saturday. Literally everyone leaves except for Ren and Larry. As an adult, this just makes me laugh tbh. One little Saturday in your Junior High career means nothing in the grand scheme of life. But, god forbid! We all need that precious Saturday to do.... nothing... instead.

Wexler picks Ren by default and doesn’t even consider Larry, which is totally not playing favorites at all. We learn that the demonstration is going to be for bike safety, thanks to Louis and Twitty running Wexler over because they were too preoccupied with eating chips and salsa.

Are these screenshots fantastic or are they fantastic? I’ll wait.

Ren is definitely apprehensive about leading the demonstration now and we don’t know why. She clearly doesn’t want to do it anymore, but the thought of Larry getting the gig instead motivates her.

At lunch that day, Louis and Twitty are playing yet another ridiculous and frankly freakin’ [Raven voice] NASTY game called “Extreme Meat Hoops” where they catch extra gooey meatballs that drip from the ceiling. Who thinks of this stuff?! HONESTLY. Tawny is disgusted as usual.

This literally looks......... awful.

Tom joins them at their table, ranting and raving about the funniest joke his friend Steve told him. When Louis questions who the heck Steve is, Tom says “Steve Stevens is the real deal” which is such a great line I can’t even explain it. Louis being Louis takes a minute to register that Steve Stevens is his dad’s name lol. He finds out that Tom and his dad have been hanging out a lot. In fact, they’ve been hanging out so much that Steve gave Tom his direct phone line to reach him at work. Louis didn’t even know Steve had a direct line, haha. It’s actually kinda sad. We start to see Louis’ jealousy emerge here.

At home, Eileen absolutely hates the newly-carved leprechaun. Steve wants her to find a prominent place for the thing, but it looks like a total eyesore everywhere she puts it. This reminds me of Lizzie McGuire and her dad’s obsession with lawn gnomes. This montage actually makes me laugh. It’s set to upbeat Irish-y stock music which contrasts Eileen’s distaste perfectly lol. Ren walks in and goes to Eileen for help with the bike demonstration. We learn that she was too embarrassed to tell Wexler she doesn’t know how to ride a bike. Whooop, there it is. Eileen promises to help teach her.

Ren in a crop top?! Why does this seem so... out of character? I noticed this before in Swap.com. Idk. To be fair, it was 2001. Showing your bellybutton was ~all the rage.~ God help me. Also, Ren’s shirt is purple-y once again and she’ll pretty much wear anything if it’s purple so.

Louis and Twitty are hanging out by some lake and Louis starts reminiscing about how he and Steve used to ride the paddle boats together when he was little. He says they used to sing this cheesy father-son song and “I can almost hear it now......... I CAN hear it now!” Lo and behold, Tom and Steve are riding in a paddle boat singing said cheesy father-son song. Louis’ jealousy has hit a new level.

This would be a little much. If I saw my mom doing such personal things with one of my friends I would literally be so concerned??? Like, what the heck Mom?! It’s just weird.

Immediately following this, Louis invites Tawny over for one of their little therapy sessions, lol. I love how this is something we’ve seen a few times throughout the series -- Whether it’s a serious talk like this or just Louis going to Tawny for advice. Like I’ve said before, he values her opinion A LOT which is lovely. This scene always stood out to me because they completely cleared out Louis’ room to look like a clean, cold therapist’s office or something. This is one of the only times it doesn’t look like a tornado ripped through it:

His bed looks sooo much smaller when it’s made? I could’ve sworn he had a full bed this whole time lol.

He tells her that everything went downhill when he was 5 and pushed Steve out of a paddle boat:

They gave Steve a curly brown mullet in this flashback. It’s wonderful.

Tawny says the symbolism is obvious: Louis has been pushing his father away forever. She suggests taking an interest in something Steve likes to do.

Next we cut to a montage of Ren’s bike riding lesson with Eileen. She’s literally terrible at it. They make a point to keep these random fencers in the shot. Like, really.. who goes to the park to fence? I’ve personally never seen that before but ok. I also just need to include this accidental screen cap of Ren about to fall because it’s great.

Ren and Eileen leave the park after a day of failing miserably, and one of the fencers enters the frame and takes off their mask............. plot twist look who it is:

It’s Larry Beale smiling maniacally because he thinks he has tea to spill about Ren being bikely challenged.

Now we move on to what is probably the best sequence in the episode. Steve is out golfing and Louis surprises him by showing up at the course! He’s so excited to spend one-on-one time bonding with Steve the way Tom has been lately, until Steve asks “Would you like to join us? Me and Tom!” And Tom shows up in his ~golfing threads~ which look ridiculous. (Cover image) There are so many fantastic lines from this point on. Kicking off with Tom saying “Say, Mr. Lou! I didn’t know you were a duffer.” And Louis gets SO OFFENDED. I’m assuming he thought Tom was swearing at him or something lol I can’t. Well, technically.. he might’ve been. Steve claims that duffer is just another word for a golfer. Out of curiosity I decided to google it to see for myself and well:

It’s not another word for any’ol golfer -- but rather a golfer that doesn’t know what the hell they’re doing. It means stupid too, so. There are also articles debating whether or not the term is offensive in the golf world.

Of course, Louis sucks at golf and hates the sport, but he’s trying so hard to win Steve over! The nail in the coffin is Steve casually calling Tom “son.” Yikes. Louis is at a loss for words at this point.

The next bit is one of my favorite moments in THE ENTIRE SERIES. I have to embed the scene.

youtube

From the opening lines between Louis and Steve, to “bend your knees” to Louis’ face at the very end. This is all gold.

Before the demonstration, Larry tries to intimidate Ren by dropping hints that he knows her secret. But, Ren takes the high road and says she has nothing to be ashamed of. I love when characters do this! Never let anyone make you feel inferior. So Ren comes rolling up with training wheels and says “The first rule of bike safety is if you don’t know how to ride a bike, use training wheels.” YAAAASSSS, GIRL. Larry gets on the mic and tries to turn it into a giant embarrassing scene, but it just doesn’t work when the person you’re trying to embarrass isn’t embarrassed at all lol. Ren is totally owning the situation and it’s great. Larry just looks like a fool up there beating the dead horse “THE GIRL NEEDS TRAINING WHEELS!!!!!!!!!”

She rides the bike through the obstacles, training wheels and all, and everyone roots for her! Yay.

Things get emotional back at the golf course. Louis finally hits the ball and it’s pretty incredible. He’s so excited and runs over to Steve and Tom like “Dad!! Did you see that?! I hit it in from way over there!!” and of course, Steve is all “Sorry, Son. I missed it.” You can just feeeeel Louis’ spirit deflating. This is the last straw for him. He starts ranting “You know what, Tom? I give up. You win.” It’s so sad oh my god. You can hear the heartbreak in his voice. Shia is so great, god. He basically starts handing his entire life over to Tom. Dang. Side note: Shia takes off his visor which made his hair stick up. He looks so different. I remember thinking he looked so cute like that hahaha.

Steve catches on and Tom decides to give them some space. “You two should talk. I know how my mother must feel. I canceled 3 games of Pinochle with her this week... I’ve got some fences to mend.” Tom is seriously the best. Obviously, Louis and Steve make up. It ends with the two of them playing Stinky Sock Ball together. It’s sweet.

I really like this episode. A lot. Y’all know I love Tom, so I had to rank this one a little higher just because he deserves some more love. But aside from that, this is a really good plot. It’s great to see how much Louis actually cares about his relationship with his father and how they eventually end up bonding a little bit more. I also like Ren’s plot here as well! It’s a nice stick to your guns sort of message that you can apply to anything really. There are honestly no specific reasons why I like this one so much... I just do lol. It’s a solid episode overall.

Well, guys. We made it. Officially at #29. Holy crapoli. Soon we’ll be at 25, and then 20, and then 15, and then 10............ you know how a countdown works. I just can’t believe how little we have left to go. I got all emotional about it here because I’ve also been running this blog for a year now. What the heck.

Thanks for reading!

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram

#rank #even stevens #shia labeouf #louis stevens #louis plot #tom gribalski #steve stevens #disney channel #larry beale #ren stevens #christy carlson romano #tv shows #tv #review #comedy #Eileen Stevens #old disney #season 2

2 notes · View notes

evenstevensranked · 7 years

Text

#43: Season 2, Episode 10 - “Devil Mountain”

Ren’s Life Science class goes on a field trip to observe some birds. Yay? Drama ensues on the trip when we find out that Mandy “Always-Gets-Her-Man” Sanchez has a crush on Bobby Deaver. Yikes!!! Elsewhere, Tom gets a personal pizza oven in his room, which is the only reason Louis and Twitty are bothering to hang out at his house. Basically, Louis is a horrible friend to Tom until the last 5 minutes. WHYYY?!

This episode opens with Ren and Bobby doing homework at The Stevens house. They’re always so incredibly awkward. Like I’ve said before… Bobby Deaver is kind of weird. I don’t get the appeal. He seems very aloof and spineless to me. They’re about to kiss when Steve comes waltzing in on the phone.. which is highly uncomfortable. He becomes a nervous wreck and ends the phone call by saying “Okay I’ll kiss you tomo— SEE YOU tomorrow!” Oh, man.

We find out that he was on the phone with their teacher, Ms. Lovelson. They’re in the same bird watching group and Steve is going to be guest-lecturing their Life Science class. I’m suuure that will be an embarrassment free experience for Ren! (Sarcasm.) Steve basically does everything in his power to keep Ren and Bobby from kissing now. He interrupts them constantly, makes them snacks, and sits riiiiight in the middle of them while telling boring stories. He starts to give Bobby the third degree asking him all sorts of personal questions. There’s a bit where it cuts to a black and white interrogation sequence parody. I always thought this was pretty funny.

“FOR THE LAST TIME, DEAVER! GIVE ME THE INFORMATION!”

“Alright… I have a sister… *cries*”

Now, on to the subplot! Tom got a new (giant) personal pizza oven in his room per Doris’ recommendation. Yes, Doris! This is the first time Tom ever speaks of his mom. Louis is confused and asks, “…Doris?” and Tom explains “Mother. She’s worried I don’t socialize enough with kids my own age. Which is nonsense” while simultaneously playing online chess. It’s pretty great.

“AH-HA! Trying to take my bishop! I know you too well, Mr. Smarty Trousers...” - Tom is a GIFT and the whole reason this episode isn’t ranked lower.

In hindsight, I really feel like this show gave kids very unrealistic life expectations at times. Apparently I can bring a butler to school with me, and I can make my principal quit their job and turn school into one big party. There’s no way my mom would allow me to have a freaking PIZZA OVEN in my room. First of all… why would you want to eat pizza in your bedroom anyway? Crumbs. Ew. This is the episode that made me assume that Tom is rich. We get to see his room though, which is cool! Much like Twitty’s, I feel like they got the characterization correct here as well. I seriously love that they actually put work into stuff like that. All of the rooms we’ve seen so far highlight the character’s personality without hitting you over the head with their interests. For example, this made me realize that Lizzie McGuire barely tried sometimes. Gordo was very into film, directing, and old records. So guess what they plastered on his wall?! It feels very contrived:

In contrast.. here’s Tom’s! Very neat. Nerdy paraphernalia on his shelves. Something that looks like a pin-up model poster right above his head. Why does that seem extremely accurate to me?

Everything’s chill and then… *dun, dun, dun* The pizza oven breaks. There’s a tiny detail that I love here. Louis dramatically touches inside of the pizza oven and quickly bounces back all shocked when he feels that it’s cold. It’s just really funny to me. But, yeah. The pizza oven is dead. And ya know what that means!!! ...Louis and Twitty suddenly don’t care about spending time with Tom. Ugh. They immediately peace out and Tom is left all depressed and alone. Wow.

The next day at school, Louis is trying to tell a joke to some kids at lunch when Tom comes over all excited with good news (presumably about the pizza oven.) He keeps interrupting Louis by adding funny remarks that ultimately just annoy everyone around him. I feel so bad. The bell rings before Louis is able to say the punchline. So what does Louis do?! He starts yelling at Tom. “What’s so important?! This better be good news about the pizza oven, because right now I’m in no mood.” SERIOUSLY LOUIS?! Well, Tom catches on and can clearly tell they’re just using him. So, he goes and does what I’d do: He lies and says the oven will be broken indefinitely.

Ren and Nelson are waiting for Steve to show up for their Life Science class. (Btw: Every time I hear “Life Science” all I can think of is LIFE SCIENCE EXTREME from Ned’s Declassified, where they took baby dolls and strapped them to rockets.) Ren insists that it won’t be too embarrassing, because Steve “happens to be one of the area's foremost authorities on the Dickcissel" — with extra emphasis on “dick.” The innuendos are too much this season. Nelson laughs.

Just then, Ruby comes rushing over to run her latest gossip column by Ren. It’s here that we find out the oh so devastating Junior High news that Mandy Sanchez has a crush on Bobby Deaver. It’s kind of ridiculous because she says “I’m really sorry, Ren! Should I kill the story?!” as if it’s a serious piece of journalism. Like, do schools even allow gossip columns like that?! I’d be absolutely mortified if “Brittany Butler has a crush on ____” was written up for the entire school to read without my permission. Mandy is super preppy, fake and snobby. She’s played by Bianca Lopez who funnily enough plays another preppy, fake and snobby character in The Princess Diaries named Fontana! A member of Mandy Moore’s popular crew of cheerleaders.

Here she is making heart eyes at Bobby...

...and there she is on the left making fun of Mia. She literally plays the EXACT same character here with the same condescending, high pitched voice and everything.

Anyway, Steve ends up being thoroughly embarrassing. Who would’ve guessed?! We get a montage displaying just how embarrassing. It starts off with him making the class pronounce “Bird” slowly, as if it’s an entry level English as a second language class. Lord help me. The montage ends with him emotionally saying “And there he was… A Yellow-Bellied Sap Sucker… actually sucking sap.” Yep. The Yellow-Bellied Sap Sucker. Disney's favorite bird. I’ll never forget the time they mentioned it on Lizzie McGuire, as well.

Steve invites everyone to go on a field trip to Devil Mountain to observe the migration of… some bird, idk. It’s not important. When he asks who wants to join him, Bobby is the first one to raise his hand with genuine excitement. (I told you he’s weird.) So naturally Mandy, Ren, Ruby and Nelson decide to go, too. This should be interesting.

While walking home, Louis and Twitty pass by Tom’s house and notice him sitting outside chowin’ down on some cheesy pizza. And we get this incredible exchange:

Twitty: “Hey, Gribalski! Thought you said your oven was gonna be busted for a year!” Tom: “Oops!! Guess I made a boo-boo!” Louis: “Is that any way to treat your friends, man?!” Tom: “This hot, delicious pizza is for people that care about me — and not for two faced pizza pigs like you! NOW GET OFF MY PROPERTY!”

I love Tom so much. He proceeds to sassily whip some crust at them before running into his house with a mouth full of pizza. I honestly think Tom is my second favorite character after Louis.

After coming home from food shopping, Eileen notices that Louis sneakily rang up $150 worth of frozen pizza. Wow, what a great kid he is in this episode! Needless to say, Eileen ain’t happy. He says “Look, I’m on a 4-slice-a-day habit okay? So, let’s preheat the oven to 450 and discuss this in a calm and reasonable manner” which is actually a pretty good line, lol.

The next day on the hiking trip, Steve has the kids break off into pairs to explore. He ends up pairing Bobby and Mandy together, and pairs himself with Ren. Of course. Ren and Mandy end up being extremely passive aggressive to each other and are low-key fighting over Bobby right in front of him. (See cover image of the post) Bobby clearly notices and just… walks away. This is what I mean about him being spineless. He just blows with the wind.

While paired off with Steve, Ren spends her time spying on Mandy and Bobby with her binoculars. This clearly isn’t a healthy relationship, lol. Then again, what Junior High “relationships” are?! Deep down, Ren obviously must not trust Bobby. I mean, I’d be pretty angry at Mandy’s flirty behavior too. But it takes two to tango!! Bobby’s just going along with it. Again, spineless.

Ren and Steve have a falling out when she yells that she’d rather be with her “BOYFRIEND instead of up here watching stupid birds with you!!!” The Stevens kids are not their best this week, lol. When storming off, Ren unknowingly heads down the “Devil’s Backside: DANGER!” trail. (Also, “Devil’s Backside”??? Wow.) While wandering around lost, Ren almost falls to her death in the most hilarious way:

She’s clearly just standing on one leg and flailing her arms around in front of a green screen. Amazing.

She lands holding onto a brittle branch. Even though she could very well die at any moment.. she still whips out those binoculars again to spy on Bobby and Mandy. Priorities.

The branch breaks and she falls even further. Thankfully, Steve finds her. They have a heart-to-heart and make up. So, that’s nice. This plot ends with Steve separating Bobby and Mandy on the ride home so Ren and Bobby can be together. Bobby claims he missed Ren all day and felt like Mandy was crowding him. Okay. Sure. I don’t trust this guy either. But, yeah. That’s it for that.

Louis calls Twitty and Tawny in for an emergency meeting to brainstorm how to get revenge on Tom. Tawny isn’t impressed and heads straight for the door. Same. She asks them if they even know anything about Tom or care about him. Like the fact that he’s currently representing LJH in their regional chess meet. Obviously, they didn’t know because they’re awful friends. They seem remorseful, but then Louis gives us this gem of a line:

youtube

It’s incredibly funny out of context, but in context it’s just extremely immature and flippant. Tawny says “Louis, no one can disappoint me quite like you can” and leaves, which marks the turning point for Louis here. That’s one thing I really like about this episode. It took Tawny’s disapproval for him to realize how terrible he was being. It just goes to show how much he cares about her and values her opinion.

Cut to Tom’s chess meet. Louis and Twitty show up and turn it into some lively, obnoxious sports event. Complete with painted chests and D-Fence signs. I’m sure this would never fly irl, but it’s a really nice gesture in the Even Stevens-verse. They cheer Tom on the entire time, until he eventually wins! Yay! He gets a great final line, too. When asked the classic “You’ve just won… What are you gonna do now?!” question, where an athlete would typically reply “I’M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!!” Tom says, “I’m gonna go get my windbreaker.” I love this. I have said this before and people literally looked at me like ???

One other great thing about this scene is in the final moments of the meet. Louis is sitting with Tawny anxiously awaiting the outcome… and she just glances at him — proud of his decision to be a good friend in the end. They’re so cute.

The end!!

In conclusion, Tom is most definitely the greatest thing about this episode. Since he’s a supporting character, I thought I’d rank this one a little higher than I might’ve otherwise because he deserves the love!

I adore the ending with Louis showing up and being supportive of Tom, and that little look from Tawny. It almost makes up for Louis being generally awful the entire time. The Ren/Bobby/Mandy love triangle isn’t totally bad, though! I live for petty teen drama, tbh.

If you’ve been quietly checking out the blog, I encourage you to chime in via Disqus below if ya like!!

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram

6 notes · View notes