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teachablemomentsblog · 1 year

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Heart Map: The IHOP Story - An Alexa Addendum (Part One)

"She smiled, stood up, and turned to reach for a walker wedged next to her."

The day after I finished the IHOP story, my students, rather than jumping right into their work, uniformly walked in and sat down. They were still clearly processing what had happened. (Another class that year gave me a standing ovation for my one-liner to Alexa on the phone. I’m still not sure how I feel about that.) Eventually they found their voices, but not necessarily to continue their own Heart Maps. They couldn’t comprehend a person like Alexa. Which I could completely understand. She sounded like someone who would fit in perfectly as the antagonist in every melodramatic teen drama they all binge-watched on Netflix. But she wasn’t a character. She was real.

“Mister, do you still talk to her?”

“I wonder what she's like now.”

“Did you ever see her again?”

Of course, I knew the effect the story would have on my students. And yes, the story did serve a purpose within my classroom, but the students didn’t really much care about THAT. They just wanted to know the sequel! There has to be something after the justifiable insanity of me leaving a girl stranded at IHOP on her apology date. While my students pestered me for Alexa updates, I responded with cryptic, frustrating answers like:

“Yeah, we talk every once in a while.”

“She’s very nice. She’s grown up quite a bit.”

“I’m sure I’ve seen her around at some point.”

Unbeknownst to them, up until my year of writing this, I hadn’t thought much about mine and Alexa’s fallout after IHOP, mainly because it never appropriately fit any lesson like the IHOP anecdote does for my Heart Map. Plus, I enjoyed leaving it as an enigmatic glimpse for my students into the wild world of Mr. Rust’s pre-teaching life. Or maybe just my pre-married life without kids. (The married-with-children life has taught me plenty of its own lessons, which make it into a section later in this blog!) The mystery behind my stories always resonated better than me providing extensive context for what happened. My students’ imaginations filled in the gaps to create their own image of me in a much more alluring light. Much more effective than me detailing the horrifyingly mundane, monotonous, BORING truth about who I currently am outside the class. However, when I finished drafting the IHOP story, which was the first story I wrote for the blog, Bryce generously read the initial copy since he experienced more of these stories than anyone else. When he finished, even though he relished in reliving my love-life drama, he thought I sold Alexa short.

“Dude, you have to add the part about her walker.”

“What part?”

“The part where she uses the walker! That’s almost as good as the IHOP story!”

The walker. I had completely forgotten about the walker! I had been vague and mysterious about if I had ever seen her again partially because I didn’t feel like it served a purpose for any of my lessons. But, even more so, I couldn’t pinpoint when I had actually seen her again. And never cared enough to think about it. Therefore, I had completely forgotten about the walker story! Even though, technically I don’t think I ever told any of my students the walker story, it still made for an exciting followup chapter in our saga. Actually, correction, once Bryce reminded me, I had to try it out on a couple of my classes. You know, as motivation to complete their work. I couldn’t help myself.

…

I wish I had a more concrete time frame from when I left Alexa at IHOP to the next time we talked. If I had to guess, we didn’t talk for close to two years. At the time, I had recently broken up with Katherine, my first long-term girlfriend (who will show up later in this blog) and I was processing the reckless effects of single life again for the first time in fifteen months. So, in my utter loneliness, I had to see what good ol’ Alexa had been up to!

We decided to meet at a small coffee shop in The Woodlands. Even though I didn’t necessarily expect or even want the meetup to serve as anything more than a little desperation company in my post-Katherine state, I still made a sincere effort to dress my best and secretly hoped she had stayed as attractive as I remembered. (I did more than brush my teeth this time.) I pulled my Pontiac Sunfire into the parking lot and there she sat at one of the white metal tables outside. She looked exactly as I remembered. I was irrationally excited, especially considering I didn’t expect much from our rendezvous. Maybe I still held the IHOP incident against her and needed to show her how great I’d been doing, especially after my most recent breakup. Or maybe I just felt lonely.

(Note: By the way, I swear I’m not this shallow anymore. It took me a long time, and a lot of eye-rolling decisions to realize that attractiveness didn’t have to serve as the deciding factor to interest me in a member of the opposite sex. I still attest that these hardening experiences gave me the knowledge I needed to discern what I did and did not want in a girlfriend and wife. Alexa was clearly a learning experience for me. Don’t worry, this addendum doesn’t fare much better than our time at IHOP.)

As I left my car, she spotted me. She smiled, stood up, and turned to reach for a walker wedged next to her. Yes, a walker. With tennis balls slipped onto the leg-bottoms and everything. Quite the shocking new addition to the Alexa I knew and loved. She awkwardly jerked the walker in front of her, and started to shakily scooch her way towards me. I quickly picked up the pace and broke into a brisk walk/run hybrid. I didn’t want her to ostentatiously scooch all the way to me, especially in front of all of these people! (Especially looking back on it now, I can’t help but feel she absolutely accentuated her scooching to showcase her debilitated situation for the coffee shop patrons. That would be such an Alexa thing to do. How Alexa.)

We finally finished walking/running to each other. I leaned in and gave her the most forced, uncomfortable, over-the-walker hug ever. I’m not sure how many uncomfortable over-the-walker hugs there have been, but this contended for the worst. We shuffled back to her table where her coffee and pastry sat and started talking. It obviously didn’t take long for her to bring up the subject of her added walking accessory from the last time I saw her.

“Yeah, it was weird. My neighbor ran me over with his car.” She said it with a shrug and a sip of coffee. So casual. Like this was a normal occurrence for most people. How Alexa.

“Oh my god! How the heck did that happen? That’s crazy! I’m so sorry. What a freak thing to happen.”

“Well, yeah. That’s the thing. We think he did it on purpose.”

“What? There’s no way! Why do you think that?”

“Because he ran me over twice. Once backing up and again going forward.”

“Oh. Shit.”

My God. How Alexa.

She proceeded to tell me about rehab for her injured back and legs and a variety of other body parts, so she needed the walker for another four-to-six weeks until she had fully recovered.

Our conversation then steered towards our current love-lives. I explained the lead up and eventual breakup between Katherine and I. She talked about her tumultuous relationship history after IHOP including her current boyfriend, who’s name was, once again, not important enough to remember, (although, I know it wasn’t Robbie or Trey). Let’s call him Jason.

Impressively, leaving her phone next to her pastry, Alexa unravelled her and Jason’s unsurprising relationship problems.

“He used to be a huge pothead. I mean HUGE. And I told him no way was I going to date him if he was smoking weed everyday. So he quit for me! And everything was going great, and then all of a sudden he started back up again. And I don’t know what to do. We’re still together but, I don’t know for how long. He keeps saying he’s not smoking again. But I know he is. Hey, actually, would you do me a favor?”

Uh oh.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Well, Jason keeps denying he’s started smoking again. But I know he’s a liar. I just need to catch him in the act.”

Uh oh.

“Yeah, I guess it would help if you actually caught him. At least you would know for sure...”

“It really would! So, right now I’m not able to drive, because of my rehab. And I know he’s at the park smoking with his friends. Would you mind driving me over there and dropping me off? That way I can catch him? I need to know I’m not going crazy.” (This whole scenario is sooooo Alexa.)

Absolutely not! Alexa I am out of here! That is your problem and your drama and I’m not getting myself involved in this stuff anymore!...is what I should have said.

“Um, sure! So I just need to drop you off? That’s it?”

“Yes! It will be really quick. Sorry to ask you. I just need to know.” (Are you really sorry, though? Really?)

We drove to a nearby park so she could catch him in the act. (Note: I was not prepared for the struggle to finagle her supposedly “collapsible” walker to fit into the back of my Sunfire. It felt like something out of a movie as I wrestled to simultaneously unhinge the adjacent sides to fold in and squeeze the entire contraption into the miniature compartment they called a trunk in my Sunfire. As usual, things proved to be far more complicated than they needed with Alexa.)

Stay tuned for Part Two coming Friday!

#education #students #teaching #school #mindset #lifelessons #IHOP #bad dates #covid-19 #covid pandemic #myspace #cringe #awkward #funny

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jolienjoyswriting · 2 years

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A Dating Dilemma, Ch. III

The final chapter of "Dating Dilemma," an Essence of Ragnarok story.

Kaiya's dream date rapidly falls apart, leaving her to wonder why.

Word count: 3,355 – Character count: 19,847 Drafted: May 28th, 2022 Revised: May 28th, 2022 –

One word. "Oof".

On the bright side, it gave me a chance to bring "Misty" back after a very long hiatus. Eh heh… heh… I'm bad to my characters.

Kaiya Paradalis originally created by Kaiya Canver

[ ↶ Prev. Story | ← Prev. Chapter | Next Chapter → | Next Story ↷ ]

"Dad? H-hello…?"

Kaiya called inside as she opened the apartment door. There was no answer.

Good. He's at the store… She deflated a little… until she remembered who was there with her. Oh, no… No, no, no, no, no… Against her better judgment, she stepped inside… and invited Carlos in. The two headed to the nearby living room not long after.

Things were incredibly tense between the wolf and the cabbit. She sat with her hands clutching her knees, claws anxiously picking at the knits of her stockings. Carlos, meanwhile, occupied himself by looking around. He seemed far more relaxed than he did even at school… Why are you so relaxed…?! she screamed inside her head. Don't you know what happens when a girl invites you home?! All of a sudden, a thought occurred to her. Wait. Wait… Maybe… maybe he doesn't?

Slowly… very slowly… Kaiya let herself start to relax. Carlos hadn't said or done anything that even hinted at some ulterior motive or naughty thoughts. Not… that he ever had. To the best of her knowledge, Carlos wasn't even dating anyone. He hadn't even shown any interest. She was almost convinced that he was asexual… Almost. Truthfully, she had been planning to seriously ask him out on a casual date just to check. He just… beat her to it.

"Nice place." Kaiya jumped. She blinked… then she blushed. Carlos was looking right at her. "Th… thank you," she whispered. "I, uh…" "Kaiya, I… want to apologize." "Y– y– wuh?" She blinked again. Carlos was looking at his knees. "I'm… sorry for asking you out so fast," he said. When he didn't expand on that, she took a breath before telling him it was okay. "I… didn't know anything about dating," he continued. "I've never…" The wolf sighed. "Kaiya… I…" "Y… yes?" He paused… then he got to his feet. She leaned back as he walked over, her face warming. He was always so handsome… "Kaiya…" "Y-yes?" she repeated. He paused again. Then… "Kaiya… can I use your bathroom?" Several very ugly words flashed through Kaiya's head. But… "It's… down the hall." She let him. There was no reason not to.

I'm gonna hurl… I'm gonna fucking hurl…!

With Carlos out of her sight, Kaiya hunched over and squeezed her stomach. The stress of the date… of bringing that wolf home… was making her nauseous. She burped, then burped, then burped again before sitting back up.

Fuck… shit… piss…! The girl slammed her hands on the couch cushions. Why is this so fucking hard…?! she asked herself. It wasn't anywhere near this hard when I brought Joe over! That's because Joe wasn't the one in control, her "brain" replied. It was you! O-okay, but… Kaiya. Are you not a strong-willed, beautiful woman who could kick any guy's ass? She nodded. Yeah. Yeah, I am. Are you not the same woman who's made a hobby of getting guys to do what you want with a playful wink and a soft voice? I… I am… she agreed. You could have any man you want, her "other side" continued. Joe, 'Los, anyone! Any woman, too! she added. She was starting to feel confident, again. So? What are you gonna do, girl? I'm gonna… get the guy. Louder. I'm gonna get the guy… Louder! I'm gonna get the guy! I said louder, bitch! She jumped up and yelled, "I'm gonna get the guuuuuy…!!" "You… what?" Oh, fuck…! Kaiya froze on the spot. Slowly, she turned her head to the hallway. Sure enough, Carlos was standing there with a mildly confused look on his face.

"I… I said…" Get the guy… get the guy! Get the guy!! She breathed in… breathed out… and then… "I'm gonna get you! Kiyaaah!!" She lunged at Carlos, punching him right in the face! Wait, what? That's not what I– fuck it. You're on your own.

Kaiya panted, keeping her fist planted firmly against Carlos' cheek. She slowly panted, glaring at him not with malice but with nervous energy. Punching him… felt kind of good. "Blargh…!" What didn't feel as good, though, was the wolf driving his fist right into her stomach.

"I don't know why you did that," he coldly said, "but–" "Kiyah!!" Kaiya spun around, aiming a kick at his head. But… "But I don't like it." Somehow, Carlos caught it. "Let's step outside."

The two stood a few meters apart in the parking lot of the apartment complex. Carlos had his fists raised in a brawler's stance, ready to defend himself. Kaiya, meanwhile, had a mixed pose as she bounced on her feet, ready to attack and ready to defend. "You sure this is what you want?" he asked the girl. What are you doing– why are you doing this– this isn't what you want– "Shut up!!" Kaiya was actually shouting at the voice in her head, but… yeah. It was kind of directed at Carlos, too. "Okay," was his answer to that. "Kiiiyah!!"

Kaiya launched herself at Carlos, throwing another punch right at his face. He was a bit surprised that such a dainty girl had so much strength behind her attacks. Even so, he managed to block it with crossed arms. Shit, this girl's fast…! When she started to punch and kick at him, he had no answer. All he could do was block. And noisy… Every time Kaiya threw a punch or swung a kick, she made another energetic warcry of sorts. It was almost like the shouts were giving her power. In a way? They probably were. That cabbit girl seemed to know a few things about modern martial arts.

Carlos waited for an opening. He waited… and waited… and waited. When he realized the fast hits weren't stopping, he decided to do something slightly desperate. "Wah!!" He left himself open, took a few hits, and tackled her to the ground. "Guh." Which was a mistake.

Kaiya pulled her legs up to her chest and thrust her feet right into his chin. As he fell away, she rolled backward and into a standing position. "C'mon!" she cried, wiping her nose with a sniff. "C'mon!" Carlos slowly stood. He rubbed his nose and looked at the blood on his hand, then he took a long breath before exhaling. Without a word, he went right back to his defensive pose.

"Kiyah!!"

Like before, Kaiya attacked him with a flurry of moves! She seemed focused on breaking through his defenses, punching his arms over and over. She paused, once-or-twice, swinging heavily and trying to power through, but all that did was give him a chance to strike back. She dodged, but it wasn't enough. Even if he couldn't hit her back… Carlos had an iron-clad defense.

The girl grinned as she hopped back. "I could keep this up all day!" she told him. "I know." His response mystified her. "What, you're saying you want me to?" He lowered his guard. "If you want." She blinked then she blinked again. Slowly, her guard lowered. Eventually, she stood up straight and rubbed her arm, looking bashfully at the ground. "Okay." The girl jerked as Carlos spoke. She immediately went back on the defensive… only to relax. He wasn't charging. He was just walking toward her… "O… o-okay…" She finally calmed down and sighed. "Okay." She looked up… and she blushed. Carlos was smiling at her! She had never seen him smile before! She liked it. A lot!

"So," he began, "what was that about?" He didn't sound mad. If anything, he sounded kind of concerned. Kaiya blushed a little harder… She felt embarrassed. Not just because she couldn't beat him in a fight, but because… she was the one who started it. For absolutely no reason! "I…" "Excuse me." Both Carlos and Kaiya froze. They looked around and noticed a lot of people watching with mixed reactions… but more importantly, they noticed that a trio of police officers had arrived on the scene. Thankfully, none of them had any weapons or protective gear drawn. Seemingly, they didn't see a threat.

"We got reports of a domestic disturbance?" one officer told the pair. "A wolf and a rabbit fighting in the parking lot? What's, uh, what's the story here?" "We were sparring." Kaiya turned to Carlos with wide eyes. She was very surprised. She hadn't expected him to say anything, much less cover for her idiocy. "'Sparring', eh?" the officer repeated with a snort. The wolf maintained solid eye contact. "Yes, sir." "Well. Next time ya get the urge, take it in the circled square, would'ja?" He nodded. "Yes, sir." "Alright!!" The officer turned around. "Exhibition's over! Nothin' to see here!"

Kaiya blinked several times. The police officers were shooing everyone away like nothing had happened. She looked at Carlos… and noticed the sour expression he wore. It wasn't aimed at her, though. It was aimed at the officers. She thought about asking, but… "C'mon." Carlos intervened, gesturing for her to follow. He was heading toward her apartment. "Ah– yes!" She didn't know what to do other than follow.

"Kaiya…"

The pair returned to the living room where everything had started. Kaiya was tense, again, and Carlos was just as calm as ever. The only real difference was that he had a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a towel against his face.

"Ever considered going professional?" he casually asked. "You're fast." She blushed, feeling flattered but embarrassed. "Carlos, I…" "How long?" "Wh-what?" He looked her in the eye. "How long did you want to do that?" The girl blinked… then she half-panicked! "I– I didn't!" she cried, waving her hands. "Could've fooled me…" The wolf laughed, then he groaned. "Man… what am I gonna tell my roomies…?" He slowly shook his head before returning his focus to the girl. "I wanna do this more," he told her. "I wanna fight you for real." "Y… you do…?!" she squeaked. "Yeah." He smiled. "It's been a while since I fought someone… It was fun. Kind'a wish I could've hit you…" Tears formed in the girl's eyes. "Y-you wanna hit me…?" "No," he said. "I wanna fight you again." She sniffled and rubbed her eyes, trying to hide the fact he'd upset her. "You… you wanna fight me…?" she asked. "B-but, I thought–" "I couldn't figure you out." "What?" "Your fighting style," he explained. "You're too fast. I can't keep up." Kaiya looked down in thought. Nothing about this day was making sense, anymore…

"Why'd you ask me on a date?" "What?" She looked up, her expression determined. "You heard me," she said. "Why'd you ask me on a date?" Carlos tilted his head. A few seconds later, he chuckled. "What's so funny?!" the girl cried, leaping up. "I'll hit you! You know I can!" "Remember that potion problem you had?" "'Potion… problem'?" She thought about it for a minute. "Oh! The… the gender-swap thing?" She nodded. "Yeah. Whhyyy…?" Her expression became suspicious while his gaze relaxed. "You owed me," he told her. "'Owed you'…?" "Right." He gestured with his free hand. "This is me cashing that in." "What." Carlos smiled at the cabbit. He was being serious.

"C… Carlos…!" The girl stomped over and threw herself at him. He blinked hard, completely confused as she was hugging him with all her might. "You… dumb…! If you wanted to date me, you should've just… just… said so!" He blushed a little as she rubbed her cheek against his good one. It felt kind of nice… but where was it all coming from? "I… I needed help," he told her. "You mean you needed an excuse!" The girl leaned back, sitting in his lap with a grin. "No…" he quietly countered. "I needed help." "Help with what, silly…?" She tried to pet his head but he gently brushed her hand again. "I… I wanted…" The wolf growled. "I needed to know if I could ask a girl out, okay?!" Kaiya blinked hard. Carlos was visibly flustered, refusing to look her way. She sat there for several seconds just processing what he'd said. Then, slowly, a smile formed on her face. "You are just the sweetest, most innocent…" "Not real– h-hey!" He maintained his blush as she started peppering his face with kisses. "Kaiya! S-stop!" Surprisingly, she did.

"What? What's wrong?" she asked in confusion. "Isn't this what–" "I don't think you're getting it…" "Getting what?" "I… I needed help… your help…" She smiled. "Yeah?" "I needed your help… to… figure out this 'dating' thing." Her smile became brighter and she started to blush. "See… th… there's this girl…" –

"Fucking Voooid…!!"

Carlos flew over the banister, out into the parking lot, and landed flat on his front after being violently hurled from the 1st floor of the apartment building.

"What the fuck, you psycho bitch…?!" He growled as he spun around. When he saw Kaiya flipping him the bird, he hissed and snarled out loud. "We're through!!" he shouted, getting to his feet with some difficulty. "You and me? Through!! Don't ever bother me again!!" Kaiya didn't say anything. She just slammed the door to her apartment. She was pretty sure he was still yelling at her, but she didn't care. She felt like the biggest fool in the world…

"He was never interested in me…" she said, leaning against the door. "He… he just wanted some stupid 'fake date' so he could ask that wolf girl out…" That was pretty much what he'd said, too. She growled… then she spun around. "But he couldn't even get that far," she shouted at the door, "because he's just a scared little bitch!!" She drew her fist back and almost punched the door… until she remembered where she was. A second later, she spun back around and slid down the door before pulling her legs up and burying her face into her knees. Then, she just… cried.

The day couldn't have gone any worse. Kaiya had completely misread the situation at school and Carlos did nothing to remedy it. She was sure… absolutely sure… that the stupid wolf – the one who had been a fantastic lab partner and an inadvertent accessory to her thievery of school supplies – had a crush on her… one that, she quickly realized, she shared! Her brain had shut off when Carlos went on and on about the new girl in school… that white wolf named Lesli… and how he couldn't work up the nerve to ask her out or figure out what to do or where to go with it. It was such a stupid problem. He deserved to be stuck with it. He'd made an absolute fool of her in so many ways… And worst of all… she was heartbroken. All his fault… she thought. This is all his fault… She wanted to believe it. She tried to fool herself. But at the end of the day…?

This is all my fault… –

"Joey! Hey, Joey!"

Onesday morning. Muramasa Union High School. Joseph had just gotten off the bus when he saw his friend run up to him.

"Hey, Miri," he said as she pulled him into a big bear hug. "Oof… Heh." She squeaked and dropped him on his butt with an apology, then she helped him back up. "I missed you!" was the next thing the bear girl said. He chuckled. "It was only three days, Miri… You could've called, too." "Oh, I know. I just…" Her disposition changed. "Weekends are sacred–" When he suddenly ruffled her multi-color bangs, she squeaked and giggled.

"You know…" The fox leaned back and really looked at her, causing the girl to blush and giggle more. "I've always liked these streaks in your bangs, Miri." Her blush brightened but he didn't notice. "O-o-oh?" she nervously replied. "Yeah." He nodded. "Hey uh, you're planning to become a hairstylist, right?" Her eyes sparkled with adoration. He remembered…! "U-uh-huh…!" she said, vigorously nodding back. "Well, I was thinking…" He reached up, playing with the three thick, gold, curled tufts of hair he called his bangs. "Maybe it's time for a change…" The fox wasn't surprised when Miranda lifted him into another huge bear hug. He even returned the favor, gently hugging her head a little.

"Let's make a day of it, Joey!" she cried as she carefully set him down. "This weekend! You and me! Let's go dye shopping at the Three Cities Mall and–" The girl stopped… and all energy left her face and voice. "Miri?" Joseph tilted his head. "What's wrong?" "Joseph," she said in an eerily calm way. "Wh… what?" She paused, seemingly contemplating what her next words should be, exactly. "I was at the Three Cities Mall over the weekend," she began. "It happened in the food court. I saw something…" "You saw… what?" Miranda, oddly, rubbed her head and sighed. Even for her, that was kind of odd. "Two auras in flux," she told him. "One, positively charged with excitement and adoration. One, negatively charged with uncertainty and discomfort." "Uh… okay?" "Joseph." He frowned. Joseph didn't like it when Miranda was so serious. "One of those auras belonged to…" Her face broke. "Your sweet babuuu…!" "My wha–" "Kaiya's cheating on you…!!"

Joseph's mind went blank. Those last four words… "Kaiya's cheating on you". For some reason, those words became jumbled around until they turned into gibberish. Once his brain came back online, he looked at Miranda with a smile. "Kaiya wouldn't cheat on me," he said with a big smile. "She loves me and I love her!" "But–" "Kaiya wouldn't cheat on me," he repeated as he started walking toward the school. "No, you probably saw some other cute, gray bunny girl in the food court." "B-but, Joey!" she cried. "She had a long cat tail and–" "Kaiya has a sister?" he joked. "Cool." "You're not listening to me!" "I'm listening to you just fine, Miri," he told her. "Okay, but…!" She ran around in front of him, causing him to stop. "You're not taking in what I'm saying!" she told him with teary eyes and a worried face. "I am," was his simple reply. "I'm just…" The fox deeply sighed, losing his smile… but only briefly.

"Miranda," he said as he focused on her face. "Thank you. You're a really good friend." If she hadn't been so upset, she would've been blushing again. "But, I know my cuddly cabbit," he said, making Miranda's face droop. "She wouldn't cheat on me. We're a couple! I mean, yeah… we live a few kilos away, but we talk online almost every day and on the phone during the weekend! We've gone on plenty of dates, too – both here and there! I've even met her dad and she's met my folks! We're totally in love…! You must have seen a lookalike, Miri. She does have a pretty common build and fur pattern!" He smiled a little more. "Now, please… stop crying. Okay? We have that test later today." "I… but… I… o-oh, Joey…" Miranda shivered as her friend walked by her. She wanted… terribly wanted… to make him accept the truth. She had seen Kaiya enough times to recognize her aura by heart! She couldn't mix it up with some other cabbit's! But… but… "J-Joey, wait up!" She could not… absolutely could not… bring herself to argue with Joseph.

"Y-you're right," she laughed, wiping her face. "You're right, you're right… I bet it was some other girl! Heh. You know Kaiya best! You are her… b…" She harshly cleared her throat, causing the fox to tilt his head. "Miri?" "Th-there's… a b-bite of toast stuck in my throat, sorry." She cleared her throat a little more before continuing. "You're her b-boyfriend and she's y-your g… girlfriend! I'm sure it wasn't her! Yeah…" "Thanks, anyway." He gave her a side-hug. "Seems like you're always there for me…" She was still upset but she blushed a little. "N-no problem…" The two continued inside, one ready to face the day… and the other deathly scared that the boy she loved was going to get his heart broken. She hoped… for his sake… she was wrong.

#fiction #Essence of Ragnarok #Year 2039 #Dating Dilemma #adopted characters #Kaiya Paradalis #original characters #jolikmc #Carlos Magnus #Joseph Lithius #Miranda Raine #slice of life #drama #romance

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meetevieinthehallway · 3 years

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hi! here’s a crappy old blurb that i had sitting in the drafts!

in which lovie is sick and stressed from uni at one in the morning and harry finds her hyperventilating.

harry was absolutely exhausted.

per usual— but there was a specific ache in his back today, one that had accompanied him from morning to night—he told his love they needed a new mattress, she told him he needed to stop laying twisted to her chest (he refuses to do so, pouting every time she suggests it)—and it’s pulsing at the top of his spine and making him wince in certain positions.

his hair at this point was ultimately unruly and unkempt from the amount of times his fingers ran through, pulling and tugging in frustration, as if he could rip new ideas out of his scalp.

his hands were sore, too, from gentle plucks of the guitar he had toyed this afternoon, praying that the indents in his fingertips would bring about motivation, inspiration— god, that it would bring anything.

he’s desperate to get out of this block.

nevertheless, he cranked out two songs today, making him ultimately beaming and his throat a bit raw and tired.

he stumbled through the door with heavy feet and an unzipped coat, his nose pink from the cold circulating in the outside air. his beanie had been pulled down to the middle of his forehead from the time he walked from inside the studio to his awaiting driver, who he last-minute remembered possessed a peculiar hatred for artificial heating. so, correspondingly, harry’s body never warmed up in the fifteen minute drive, causing his toes to go numb and his teeth to chatter lightly. he would never ask him to crank the heat, because it’s bad enough he has to drive around a famous stranger all day— harry wasn’t gonna torture the guy with something he specifically despised. (no matter how fucking weird it was).

his boots clunked as he passed through the doorway, wrinkling his nose up and closing the door behind him with his back. a wince, a sharp inhale, then a slow exhale, eyes closed. it was a solid minute before he cracked his eyes open— but he swore he could have fallen asleep standing.

his love had reduced the lighting significantly, the lamps dimmed and several candles lit around the room. it was close to dark, matching the scene outside, and the warmth wrapped his body and nuzzled him. he smiled lazily, his hand carding up and taking the beanie off his hair, curls bouncing out as he shivered. she lit that vanilla candle he likes, and he can feel the sleepiness start to settle further into his veins.

“angel? where are ye, bub?” harry’s voice was a soft coo and his dimples appeared as he leaned his hand against the wall.

he kicked his shoes off, throwing his coat on a chair nearby as he hummed his way down the foyer. he craved for his girl like he craved the warmth to envelop him; he wanted her wrapped around and within his soul, caressing his skin until he was lulled to sleep. he couldn’t wait to bury his face in her neck and stay there for a while, his lips caressing her own and her skin for a time before he found the energy to carry her to bed. he always told her to stop waiting up for him, but she would kiss her teeth and roll her eyes and tell him shut up, and that was that.

stubborn little thing she was— and he loved every ounce of it.

harry pondered what she could be doing on his search for her, thinking about how she may be sleeping with a book on her chest in the den or giggling at a sitcom in the living room; either way, she’d be cozy and wrapped in a blanket—maybe, hopefully, in his shirt, maybe even with no pants on and—

oh.

he was completely wrong.

he turned a corner with a half smile, hearing her laptop keys being softly pressed, but his face sank and his eyebrows furrowed quickly, his lips slowly pronouncing her name.

she was sat on the floor in a ball, papers scattered around her frame and closing in on her body, her face in her hands and a bun wrapped on the top of her head. she was sniffling softly and her breaths were deep— yet shaky. he could hear her mumbling to herself, yet not responding to her name.

“angel?”

she jumped, looking up at him and harry frowned at her red-rimmed eyes and red nose. the sweet thing looked so sad and worn, eyes wide and teary.

“what’s goin’ on, baby?” he padded towards her, her head shaking as she started to begin typing again. “hey hey—” he mumbled, starting to sink to the floor.

she’s continuing to type, not ignoring him as much as she’s so out of it he doesn’t know if she’s here, but he grabs at her hands to stop typing, pulling them towards him. she whines, shooing him away, and his concern deepens. “angel.” he murmurs, tilting his head, starting to pull her body towards him. she barely turns her face away from the screen, but his thumbs still move to pad away her fallen tears as she writhed to get out of his hold. “hey.” he said, “now wait just a mo’, bub—”

“jus’ let me finish—”

“it’s one in the morning.”

she’s typing again, hitting a few keys before he grabs at her hands, stronger, pulling them toward his chest.

“why are you writing at this hour?”

she finally meets his eyes, and she’s snapped back to reality. and once she sees the concern swimming in his irises, it breaks her. she’s sobbing once more, harsher than how she has all night, whining and whimpering as she tried to get back to her laptop. he shakes his head, picking her up, placing her bum on his thigh and draping her legs across his own. she immediately falls into his chest, and she feels fragile.

“stop.” he murmured, pinning her hands down with his own, right on her lap. his thumbs run over her wrists. “take a breath, baby— ’s not good for you. tell me what’s wrong.”

she whimpered then, taking her sleeves and wiping her face, sniffling and shaking, her breathing trembling. “’m so tired.” she cried, wiping her nose and keeping her palms to her eyes.

“you need sleep. why the fuck are you doing work this late, hm?” he’s petting at her hair. “you’re so overwhelmed—” he pauses, to press his lips to her forehead, but he inhales sharply when he felt the heat resonating from her skin. “oh, angel. we definitely need to get you to bed, you are burning up—”

“can’t!”

he flinched as she said it in frustration and sadness, in between a sob; she hastily, in a blur of quick movements, reaches and grabs her computer again, settling it on her thighs before furiously typing.

“stupid paper for my stupid professor on a topic i hate and he made it due at two a-and i just don’t feel well—”

her mumbling broke into cries but she kept going, and harry couldn’t understand how she was simultaneously describing her frustration while continuing sentences about god-knows-what-topic. she was frantic, tears still falling and if she didn’t slow down harry swore she was going to pass out.

“have you been writing this all day?” his hand rubbed at her back.

she sniffled, shaking her head. “been sick and gross all day and i completely forgot. ‘m so fucking stupid and now i jus’ wanna be done—” she gasped for air and broke completely, her voice choking on sobs. her trembling hands pressed to her eyes, cries escaping her lips and her head shaking. “it doesn’t even make sense. can’t focus. ’ve been throwin’ up all day and i jus’ wanna sleep, but—”

“woah, what?” he sputtered. “you didn’t think to call me?” he asked incredulously.

her head fell forward in time with her shoulders, the jumper on her body sliding off her collarbones. her head was absolutely throbbing, pulsing with need and making her dizzy. she looked up and her eyes closed tight, weeping more intensely. her sleeves came to her eyes slowly, pitifully, and harry realized that him scolding her was not what she needed right now. he grabbed her and pulled her back to his chest, her sobs increasing and her will to fight against him diminishing.

“okay, okay, okay.” harry mumbled as his hand came to the back of her head, his thumb stroking the base of her neck. she completely collapsed into his collarbones, her forehead heated and her eyes squeezed closed, a trembling jaw and sniffly nose pressed to him. she was a proper mess. “—hey hey.”

his love whined once, then sniffed, blinking her eyes open to view her fumbling fingers. she sighed, hiccuping, sitting up to look harry in the eyes. he frowned when he saw her flushed cheeks and watery lashes, his knuckles gently coming up to brush at her skin. she smiled sadly, her lips quivering.

“’m sorry i didn’t call.” she swiped at her eyelid, breath staggered. “didn’t wanna disturb you.” he gazed at her with sad eyes and frowned. “a-and... you— ….” she whimpered, shaking her head and gazing at him. “you just walked through the door ’nd you’re like— not even settled and—” her breath hitched and more tears leaked from the corners of her eyes, and harry cooed. her eyebrows furrowed and her soaked sleeves came to her lips, covering them and shaking her head. “’m sorry—” she whispered.

“no no no.” he murmured, brushing her loose strands of hair away. “no apologies, love, okay?”

she sniffled, leaning forward until she was in his neck again, whimpering. harry’s face sunk, his lips kissing the top of her head as he rubbed her spine.

“i hafta finish.” she whimpered, shaking her head. harry kissed her forehead and sighed, shaking his own.

“no. we are going to email your professor and if he has a problem, he can speak to me and—”

“can’t!” she cried, “no exceptions, must be turned in on time.” her voice dropped several octaves to mock her asshole of a professor, and harry shook his head.

“don’t care.”

she hiccuped, eyes sad. “h—”

“i don’t care about his stupid rules.” he gruffed. “you’re sick as hell and your health comes before anything. understand?” his voice is deep and monotonous, frustrated, but not at her. harry wasn’t going to let this teacher make his girl feel as if she must finish a stupid paper when she’s most likely got the stomach flu.

“please, angel. let me get you settled and i will email him, kay?”

she sniffled. she stared up at him with weepy eyes and saw his desperation in his irises. her head was spinning and her throat was sore, but he gazed at her like she spun the stars into their orientations. even with teary eyes, skin irritated and red, he looked at her with such care and awe.

she looks down momentarily and suddenly realizes how bright her laptop seemed, and how the words on her page looked garbled and wrong. even if she wanted to keep going, she doesn’t think she physically could.

she wiped her nose, eyes fluttering around his face. she nodded slowly. “okay” she murmured, shoulders deflating a bit.

harry smiled small and placed a wet kiss to her nose, mumbling an “atta girl”.

she stood slowly, knees cracking as harry’s jumper fell to her the middle of her thighs, the bunched up socks coating her ankles and feet falling off. she was utterly adorable to him, even with teary eyes and a sad frown.

“c’mere, i’ll carry you to bed, angel.”

god did she love him.

he bent slowly, and she draped her weight over his spine, lazily putting her arms around his neck. harry’s hurting back was no longer important to him, because her breath was soft and hitting the back of his neck and the top of his arm, and he swears heaven has continuously blessed him.

“thank you, harry.” she mumbles it as she slides off his back once they are next to their bed, and he presses his lips to her forehead, then her cheeks. he lays her down, pulling the covers over her, stroking her hair back from her eyelids. she catches his hand and holds it to her cheek, her eyes looking at him.

“sleep, pretty girl. i’ll be in bed soon.”

#harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #Harry Styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles writing #blurb #fluff #harry #harry fluff

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magicrowiswritingstuff · 3 years

Text

"Rings" - Din Djarin x female!reader

(GIF by Me ... this was a hassle to create, I tell you guys)

Summary: You give something up that is very important to you to save Din's life.

Warning: injury/blood, a bit of violence, near-death experience, death of someone close to the reader (only mentioned)

Disclaimer: I normally try to give the reader as little backstory as possible but that wasn't an option here. So, please just roll with it.

Category: angst/fluff

Words: about 8.000

Note: Today’s my birthday (it’s already the 30th December where I live) so, have this piece of my writing as a sort of present from me to you! I must say I’m very proud to have finished this before the end of 2020. Letting you decide what I should write next and just reading your interest in my ideas definitely motivated me to write. So, thank you! <3 Note 2: I hope y’all enjoy it, I was a bit nervous because I rewrote a lot of it since it always felt like something wasn’t right or missing. The first draft was 4.000 words and I only wanted to check for any grammar mistakes and … well, you see what happened xD I also wish y’all a (early) happy New Year! I hope 2021 will be better for all of us.

_________________________________

“Rings” – Din Djarin x fem!reader

You sat on the pilot seat of the Razor Crest, staring outside at the dark void of space speckled with star streaks. Mando was sleeping, the Child too, so you had some time for yourself that you didn't know how to spend efficiently. The autopilot was on and the ship wasn't in the need of any repairs, so you didn't even need to be awake right now but you didn't feel tired enough to fall asleep either. Absentmindedly you twisted one of your rings in your fingers to pass the time. It was a metallic-silver ring that looked like two intertwined ones, nothing engraved into it, no jewels on it, quite uneven. It was an unremarkable ring, a simple ring. Still, from all the rings on your fingers this one meant the most to you. This ring was your go to distraction when you were bored and your comforter.

"What are you doing?" a modulated voice asked behind you. Flinching you dropped your hands in your lab and spun around in the chair to face the Mandalorian. You furrowed your brows at him to silently scold him. How was he able to move without making a single sound in that metal armor of his? After a while you shrugged your shoulders in answer. "Nothing, really." Turning back around you stared out of the window again with a sigh. "I'm just ... bored." A small smile found its way on your lips as you crossed your arms before your chest and leaned back in the chair, knowing fully well that Mando stood dumbfounded behind you because you were sitting in 'his' seat. Though as long as he wasn't saying anything there was no problem, right? You had to suppress the small snort that would have threatened to spill over your lips otherwise. "Is the Child still sleeping?" you asked instead after a while in which you hadn't heard the Mandalorian move at all. But for all you might know he could have already walked back down or he could stand right behind you. "Yes" he answered shortly, his voice still sounded like he stood in the doorway to the cockpit. So, he hadn't moved. "Good" you retorted before standing up, thinking you had tortured the silent Mandalorian enough, and sat down on one of the co-pilot seats. Mando stood still for a few moments longer before also sitting down in his seat. You two stayed silent after that and after a while you resumed back to twisting the ring between your fingers in boredom.

"Do you ever take those rings off?" His rough voice startled you once more. Perplexed you looked up to see him slightly turned towards you in his chair and just blinked at him a few times. Then you raised one eyebrow at him with a mischievous spark in your eyes. "Do you ever take that helmet off?" you shot back with a grin. You of course knew the answer and Mando knew that too so you didn't expect more than a short huff from him. He let out a snort and shook his head in what you guessed was amusement. Sometimes it was hard to read his body language but you were proud to say that you slowly got better at it. "What do they mean to you?" he tried again. "Awfully chatty today, aren't we?" you teased but you had to note that you were grateful for him seemingly opening up to you more. Mando shrugged in answer. You looked back down at your hands and the many rings adorning them as your smile fell. "Most of them mean nothing" you explained. "I just think they're pretty. I like shiny metal." You shot the man in shiny armor a side glance and a sly grin, trying to fall back into a more carefree attitude. If he understood your teasing he didn't react, though you could swear he had wide eyes underneath that helmet of his. But maybe you were just projecting. After a while he cleared his throat which made you giggle. He had understood it after all.

"You said most of them, so which do have a meaning to you?" You grew quiet, staring back down at the ring you had twisted in between your fingers until now. The grin vanished from your features and only left a frown behind. Your throat closed up. You have never told anyone about this but some part of you wanted to share this with the Mandalorian you had grown closer to after all these months on the Razor Crest. "It's sentimental and stupid" you began and removed the ring from your finger. You held it over your face and turned it in the dim light. "My father made it." "Is he a blacksmith?" You felt your body stiffen up and slid the ring back on. "He was." The silence was awkward and filled with tension as your eyes hardened in an desperate attempt to hold back the tears. You wanted to tell him this but you refused to cry. You wouldn't cry in front of him. Everyone had lost somebody. "I'm sorry." You shook your head, quickly wiped the wetness round your eyes away so he wouldn't notice and leaned back into the chair, crossing your arms before your chest once more and closed your eyes. "Don't be." You heard the Mandalorian busy himself with switches and buttons after that. Opening one eye you saw him facing away from you, shoulders tense and squared. Another small, and this time more strained, grin formed on your lips. You forced to look more cheerful again. "And as you just saw, I do take them off, tin head." The Mandalorian huffed a short, modulated laugh as you closed your eyes again, twisting the ring, your comforter in between two fingers once more.

_______________

"Where is it!?" Your desperate cry echoed through the Razor Crest, alarming the Mandalorian who immediately jumped up from the pilot seat and climbed down the ladder. When he turned to face you, his heart beating painfully against his ribs, he saw you kneeling on the floor, your hair still wet from the shower you had just taken, damping the shirt around the area of your shoulders and neck. He paused, furrowing his brows in confusion. "What are you searching?" he asked perplexed, his heart slowing down again when he realized you or the kid weren't in any danger. "My ring!" you exclaimed panicked. "I took them off to shower and now I can't find the one I- the one my father made." The Mandalorian's gaze followed you as you scanned the floor, worrying that it might have rolled away. With all the boxes standing around it would be impossible to find it if it really had rolled into the clutter of materials. You huffed under your breath. Mando let his eyes trained on you before a delighted squeak caught his attention. Slowly he turned to face the kid who was sitting on his cot, admiring a shiny metal ring in his tiny hands with big, round eyes. You, however, continued to mutter under your breath, cursing yourself and swearing to never take it off again. Only when you heard Mando's chuckle did you pause and stood up to face him. You stared at him in confusion, your eyes wide. You had never heard such a soft sound leave his modulator before. He did laugh around you sometimes, that was nothing new, but it only ever was a short snort of a laugh or a dry one. Never such a soft, pure sound of delight. And then it had to be the moment your heart was racing and your hands were shaking in fear of having lost something forever. You furrowed your brows. "What's so funny?" you asked irritated. Thinking about how he would react if he couldn't find a piece of his armor, or his helmet even. You knew it was petty. After all you had only lost a ring and Mando's armor was part of his creed, deep-rooted within his beliefs. You couldn't help feeling slightly angry though.

The Mandalorian didn't answer and instead tilted his head to his cot, your gaze following his movement. And when you laid eyes on the Child holding your ring, you had to control yourself to not slap your hand against your forehead hard. Instead, you buried your hot face in your hands and groaned. How wasn't this your first instinct? You straightened up and sat down in front of the kid "Kid, give me that please" you demanded nicely with your hand outstretched. The Child tilted his head and looked at you with his big, round eyes in curiosity. "Please" you pressed staring at the ring that hovered dangerously close to the kid's mouth. You could try to snatch it out if his grasp but you didn't want to risk him accentually swallowing it if he refused and defended his newly found treasure. Mando watched you in silence, arms crossed before his chest. He was almost about to speak up, he wanted to remind you that the kid wouldn't give it back so easily. He as well as you knew that because of the small ball from the switch in the cockpit the little one always stole. But before he could even open his mouth the kid let the ring fall into your palm, leaving the Mandalorian in a loss for words. The Child looked at you, his eyes saddened as if to apologize. You slipped the ring back on immediately, staring at your fingers that now all had their respected ring back. Then you squished the Child's cheeks in thanks and he squealed in joy. "I almost had a heart attack" you jokingly said and looked at the still silent Mandalorian as a breathy laugh left your lips. It was this moment did he realize what a strong bond you and the Child had built over those months you had now been on the Razor Crest. And it left him with a feeling he couldn't quite place in any category. Was it joy? Pride? Maybe both, maybe something else. He shook his head, directing his attention back at you as you straightened up with the kid in your arms, an exhausted smile on your lips. "Crisis overcome" you joked, the relief in your voice however was unmistakable.

_______________

After that little incident you never took that ring off again. All the other ones weren't that important, you didn't care if the Child grabbed one of them but the ring your father had made was of limits. But you knew that Mando was interested in it, about its story and the importance it had to you. He hadn't told you much about him so you hadn't told him much about you either when he had first approached you with the proposition to you give you a job on the Razor Crest. Back then you didn't really care who he was, you just needed some credits and the Child was cute so that was a plus. You were mostly a mechanic for the ship and the weapons at first but you soon fell for the little one’s charm and became somewhat of a caretaker for him as well. Mando had offered to raise your wage many times since you took on more than he had planned but you always had and always would refuse. You cared for the Child because you wanted to not because you were paid for it. And to be honest, the credits he did gave you for repairs on the ship and looking over the weapons every once in a while, you always ended up spending for the kid or for something that was needed on the ship anyways. So, it really wasn't that much of a job anymore to you and rather ... a strange companionship of sorts. And because of that you decided to offer a deal to the Mandalorian because you also grew more interested in your mysterious travel companion. After months on board, you wanted to finally get to know him more.

"Since you seem so interested in my ring, I'm going to propose a deal" you proclaimed, straightening up in the co-pilot seat you had sat down earlier. The pilot seat turned to you so Mando could face you more comfortably, his helmet tilted in question. You grinned, proud to be able to at least distinguish the different head tilts he had. "I'm going to answer the questions you have if you tell me something about you in return" you continued after quickly shaking your head to sort your thoughts. You weren't obviously to the way the Mandalorian tensed in his seat, seemingly expecting to have to answer the questions that were burning on your tongue ever since you grew to like him more. So you shook your head at him as an answer to his silent question. "I'm not going to ask you something directly so you can choose what you want to reveal about yourself. I'm satisfied with anything." He nodded, agreeing to your proposition.

You removed the ring from your finger and grabbed Mando's hand, he stiffened up again immediately. You let out a short chuckle. "Relax" you snorted and placed the ring in his palm. His head shot from his hand to your face in what you knew was shock and confusion. With a toothy grin you shrugged your shoulders. "I know you want to know more about it. You aren't that hard to read after a while" you explained with a grin. "And I know you won't eat it, unlike the Child." That made the Mandalorian laugh in agreement before looking back down at the sliver ring in his palm. The soft sound of his real laughter and not the stifled snorts he would normally only let out made you shiver for some reason. For a while he just stared at the ring in complete silence, obviously not knowing where to start. Then he cleared his throat and tilted his helmet only slightly upwards, almost unnoticeably but you caught it, knowing that he was now looking at you. "You said your father made it?" You nodded but knew he wanted to ask more, however, he seemed unsure of how far he could go so you decided to elaborate a bit more. "Yes, he did. He was mostly an armorer, though" you declared. "That ring was the first and only jewelry he ever crafted which is why it's so bumpy." You let out a short laugh and leaned back into the seat, staring out of the window and only glancing at the Mandalorian from the corner of your eye from time to time.

"He taught me a lot about different kind of weapons which is why I'm so good at repairing them, not so much with creating them from scratch like he was though." You crossed your arms before your chest and bit your lip, just letting yourself think for a moment and trying to hold back tears that threatened to spill again. "Back then I never thought all that knowledge would come in handy. I often complained because I wanted to go out and play with my friends and not look at melted metal all day" you resumed, trying to distract yourself with it. "I never thought I would need the things he taught me to save a Mandalorian's ass." That made Mando laugh once more but this time in protest. "If I recall correctly, I save you much more often" he pointed out. "You recall incorrectly" you teased but knowing the truth in his words. You would never admit it out loud, though, you liked to joke around with him too much.

"Something else you want to know?" you asked, distracting him from your teasing since he had grown quiet after that. The Mandalorian nodded. "Yes. You don't have to answer if it's too personal or you don't want to but-" he started, seeming conflicted. "How did he die?" You gulped, not having expected that kind of direct question from him. Your gaze returned to the large window, staring at the sparkling void that was space again. "He was killed" you stated, your voice suddenly sounding rather strained. You took a deep breath and forced yourself to carry on. "He got caught in the crossfire of some stupid criminal organizations on my home planet." You saw Mando slowly nod from the corner of your eyes before he stretched out his hand to you for you to take your ring back. You straightened up again and turned to face him, reaching for it. "I'm sorry" the Mandalorian said in a soft, quiet tone. Even fainter than the chuckle you have heard from him before. You froze mid motion before shaking your head and swiftly grabbed the ring, sliding it back on your finger. "As I said once already, don't be. It's been forever ago." You suddenly felt a bang in your chest and a tightness in your heart. It still hurt. And before you could prevent it you let out one sharp sob, clutching the finger with your father's ring on it with your other hand and bend over. You missed him, even after all this time you still missed him more than anything. After that one sob only silent tears dropped down your face but you didn't hear the Mandalorian standing up. Only when you felt his hands on your shoulders did you realize that he was in front of you. Your head snapped up to stare at the black of his visor through your tears. The touch felt soothing and you realized that you craved more. You didn't feel like you were allowed to hug him tough, so you stayed put, lowered your head and tried to calm down under his gaze and touch. When the tears finally ran dry, you nodded to tell him that you were fine and he could sit down again but he didn't move. You glanced up, raising one eyebrow at him in question. He didn't say anything and just stared back from behind his visor. Then he moved his hands from your shoulders to your face, cupping your cheeks. You froze with wide eyes as he wiped away the last traces of your tears. For a few moments you just stared at him, mouth agape but before you could form any words -even though you had no idea what you wanted to say anyway- he moved away and let himself fall stiffly onto the pilot seat. You two just sat there, still facing each other but neither dared to speak up. You were shocked and flustered. And the Mandalorian probably felt the same way. Out of instinct you began to twist the ring in your fingers again. Your mind was blank. Did this really just happen or had you hallucinated all that? You shook your head and cleared your throat. "So, ehm ... what did you decide to share with me?" you asked, changing the topic and distracting yourself from your thoughts. "What secret do you want to expose?" The Mandalorian didn't move or react, probably thinking about what to say, what to reveal or still wondering about what he had done just now. After many moments in which your heartbeat was the only thing you could hear echoing in your ears he finally spoke up, saying one single word.

"Din."

Confused you furrowed your brows at him. "Din?" You tested the foreign word on your tongue, weighting it as if you could understand its meaning that way. But you couldn't recall ever hearing it before. You shook your head, signaling him that you didn't understand. "Din Djarin. It's my name." Your eyes widen in surprise, your mouth opened and closed without producing a sound. You didn't expect him to reveal that. "I thought you would tell me something like, I don't know, you secretly like to dance or something like that" you stammered, caught off guard. The Mandalorian laughed. Not a small, soft chuckle but a load, heartfelt laugh that made his shoulders shake as he leaned back into his seat. You joined in, his laughter was too contagious not to, you didn't hear it often enough to not enjoy it.

"Din..." you tested the word, his name, again after the laughter had died down. A sly grin found its way on your lips, the tears from before already forgotten but the ghost if his touch still lingered. "I wasn't that far of with ‘tin‘ head then." This made the Mandalorian snort. After that the ship grew silent once more and the two of you were staring out the window. After a while you leaned forward to steal a glance at him. "Do you like to dance?" you asked curiously with one raised eyebrow, shattering the silence without a second thought. "Wouldn't you like to know" he teased back, his grin audible by the challenging tone of his voice.

_______________

You stood there, the Child tightly pressed against your chest in a protective manner, body frozen, your eyes wide in worry and disbelief. You couldn’t remember how you ended up there, everything had happened so fast. One minute you and Mando stood next to each other near the arena of the dirty rust planet you were on (you had just wanted to get some more food and supplies) and spoke to some guy that had approached you. His eyes had something in them that made your skin crawl and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up in uneasiness but you couldn't even open your mouth to share your concerns. The next moment the guy had pressed a button on his wrist band and Mando fell down a hole, ending up inside the arena. You ran to look over the railing to see him standing in the mud in the middle of the stadium that was halfway full with hungry eyes of spectators. Even from the distance you could see the anger radiating from Din by the way his shoulders squared. With an equally as angry glare you turned to the guy. "What do you think you are doing?" you snarled, pressing the kid against you protectively with one hand and grabbing your blaster with your other one, aiming it at the guy's head. "Release him this instant!"

"If you shoot me" the man growled, pressing another button. "Your friend will be eaten alive." You heard the screeching of a metal gate and when you turned to look at Din again you saw a huge beast had entered the arena. The thing was at least three times larger than a mudhorn and immediately aggressive towards the intruder, towards Din. The beast ran towards him, it didn't even bat an eye when the Mandalorian aimed his fire thrower at the beast’s face. It clawed at him, grabbed him and hurled him across the stadium. Din landed on his back many meters away. Slowly he rose again, probably groaning in pain but you were too far away to hear anything except for the beast’s roars. He was only barely able to dodge another attack of the monster. You turned back to face the guy, your blaster slowly lowered until it was aimed against the floor. "What do you want with him? With us?" you asked, placing your blaster back into its holster on your hip. You needed to figure something out, fast. Or Din would get seriously injured if he wasn't already. "Do you know what a spectacle this will be? Spectators will come weeks after his defeat, hoping to see something equally as thrilling!" You shuddered, wondering what kind of sick planet you once again ended up on. You couldn't believe the audacity that guy had. Trapping a Mandalorian? Did he know what the Mandalorian could do when Din would get his hands on him? You turned to look down at the stadium in concern once more, just able to witness the beast pinning Din down with one of its claws. Any sound he could have made, very cry for help that could have been directed to you was drowned out by the cheers of the audience. Any bleeding injury he might have had was covered by mud, he might have suffered a concussion too by the way the beast had slammed him against the ground but you couldn't do anything and only watch in horror. The Child in your arms grew restless, obviously worried about the Mandalorian, too. You instinctively began to rock him in your arms and shielded his eyes with your body. He shouldn't have to watch this.

"What do you want?" you questioned, spinning back around. "There is nothing you can give me" the man stated with a disparaging look. "What do you want? I'll give you anything if you just release him!" you yelled, your eyes wide in worry. Your heart beat against your ribs so fast you feared it would spring free any moment. You had never sounded so desperate in your life before. You had never feared so much for Dins' life before. The ringmaster took his time, however, stroking his chin theatrically. Seconds seemed to last for hours as the cheers of the audience echoed in your ears, your eyes tearing up in frustration. "Please!" you pressed, desperately reaching one hand out to the man. His eyes landed on it. "How about those shiny rings on your hands? Shiny metal is rather rare here on this rusty planet" he proposed. You froze, staring down at your outstretched hand. He wanted ... all your rings? "Deal?" he asked just when another roar of the beast shook through your bones. "Deal!" you yelled immediately, anger heating up your eyes. The man nodded and pressed a few buttons. You turned and saw the beast suddenly slumped over, lying unmovingly in the mud. The audience grew silent. Din didn't move. You grabbed the railing, leaning over as your eyes darted over his unmoving for still underneath the beast claw, unable to focus as your heart hammered against your ribs. "Mando!" Your scream echoed through the arena, your blood ran cold. Oh Maker, what if you hesitated for too long? You opened your mouth to scream again when you saw movement. Din freed himself from under the monster’s claw with huge effort. You sighed, your body almost falling completely limp and only help upright by your grip on the railing. You only dared to breathe in when he stood on his legs again. "Time to pay up, girly" the guy demanded as two guards walked up to Din to probably bring him out of the arena. You slowly turned around and gritted your teeth. The sleezy man had stretched out a hand for you to put your rings in it. With your eyes hardening you began to remove the rings from your hands. You heart seemed to break when you slid the last ring from your finger and laid it in the guy's hand. But you didn't hesitate, even though you felt like you just lost a part of yourself. The man nodded satisfied and put them in his pocket.

"(Y/N)?" You span around when you heard Din's faint voice behind you and immediately ran towards the Mandalorian. You held the wriggling Child against your chest with one hand and put your other one on Din's chest in a small attempt to steady him. "Are you alright?" you asked in a hushed tone, looking him up and down with in worry furrowed brows. You couldn't see any blood, just mud. But that didn't have to mean anything. His ribs could be broken for all you knew. Your eyes landed on his side where his clothes were ribbed. Din winced, answering your question that way. Without another second to waste you stepped to stand beside him and wrapped your free arm around his middle. He didn't even protest and just leaned against your side, as you led him away from the arena and back to the Razor Crest. "Let's get out of here. Fast."

Back on the Razor Crest you put the Child in his orb, closing it so he wouldn't have to see his adoptive father in that state. When you turned you saw Din slumped against the wall of the ship, his chest heaving. "For the love of- Din, sit down!" you yelped, grabbed his shoulders and pressed him down against the wall so he could still lean against something. He winced again as you ran to get the med kit. You kneeled down in front of him and scanned his body for wounds but you still couldn't see anything with his mud-covered armor in the way. Your eyes focused on the whole in the clothes by his side. "I need to take your armor off" you announced, your voice wavering even with your efforts to suppress it. "Not the he-" Din began but you cut him off. "I know! Maker, I know. Save your energy, please!" You didn't mean to sound so harsh but you were unable to control your voice as you felt the panic rise in your chest. You began to try and take off his armor but your hands were shaking so much you could barely hold onto the pieces. "(Y/N)" Din mumbled and grabbed your hands. You head snapped upwards, you opened your mouth to ask him what he needed when he suddenly slumped forward. "Din?" you asked with wide eyes and shook his hand that was still loosely around your own. "Din!" He didn't react. Cursing and with tears already threatening to spill out your eyes you let go of his hands and instead sneaked two fingers underneath his helmet and to his neck, searching for his pulse. You sighed. It was still there, he was just unconscious. You swallowed the panic down, put your arms underneath his armpits and heaved him away from the wall so you could lay him down on the floor. Not the most comfortable place but the most practical. Then you quickly removed his armor. When he only wore his shirt, pants and helmet you had to force yourself to keep going as you saw the blood had already covered most of his side in a deep red. With no time to lose you opened the med kit, grabbed the scissors and cut open his blood-soaked shirt. Your breath got stuck in your throat when you saw the deep cut going down his side. You couldn't even curse, you just froze. The scissors fell down to the floor with a clutter. You could stitch up wounds and treat smaller injuries but you weren't medically trained for this. You weren't qualified... How were you supposed...?

The squeak beside you made you jump. Your eyes darted around aimlessly until they finally locked into the Child who was standing next to you. "How did you-?" you were unable to complete the question as the kid walked towards Din. Your eyes widen in realization and you immediately held the Child in your hands to get him closer to Din's wound. He stretched out his tiny hands and closed his eyes in concentration. At first nothing happened, the silence in the Razor Crest was deafening. Then the wound on Din's side finally began to close up and your heart leaped into your throat. The kid whimpered before he went limp after the wound had closed up completely. "Good job, kid" you praised and pressed him against your chest, your voice strained but relieved. You didn't put him in the orb this time and instead in the hammock above Din's bunk. "Get some rest" you whispered and stroker over his head. He would be fine. You furrowed your brows in worry and glanced at Din. You weren't sure about him yet. You patted the little one’s head one more time and then kneeled back down next to the still unconscious Mandalorian. You took a deep breath and began to look for more injuries he might have. But luckily you didn't find any more open wounds, only bruises that would continue to hurt for a few days if not weeks even with the bacta you could put on them. And even though he wasn't in mortal danger anymore, you still had to force yourself to keep going, your hands were still shaking violently.

After you had treated his bruises and had made sure none of his ribs were broken you somehow managed to get him into his cot where he could find some rest. With a heavy heart you had decided to retreat into the cockpit. You had set a curse and activated the autopilot after that. With a sigh you slumped into the pilot seat. There was nothing left for you to do and even though you felt the tiredness in every fiber of your body you couldn't find any rest. Your hands were still shaking from all the fear and adrenaline and your mind was racing in tight circles. You were still worried even though the kid had healed his otherwise fatal wound and you had done everything else you could have. Absentmindedly you reached for the ring, wanted to twist it in your fingers like so many years prior to get some sense of comfort only to grab nothing. You flinched and stared at your hands in shock. For the first time you really felt the absence of your rings against your skin. You gritted your teeth and tried to blink the tears away. The frustration and anger rose inside your chest as you grabbed your hair, tearing at the roots as sobs tore through your throat.

You must have fallen asleep at some point because the next time you opened your eyes and moved in the pilot's seat pain shot through your back, making you wince. What even woke you up and why were you in the pilot seat? Confused you let out a groan and stretched your back. "Are you alright?" You spun around in shock. The moment your eyes fell onto him you remembered what had happened. "Din!" your voice was sharp but your face was painted with worry. "I should ask you that. Why are you even up here? You should be resting!" You stood up, looked him over and were about to place your hands on his chest when you froze. With your hands hovering over his chest, you stared up at him. The only armor he was wearing was his helmet still but he had put on another shirt. "I'm fine" he said but immediately let out a wince after that. You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, right. Sit down" you commented and grabbed his arms to carefully direct him to the pilot seat. You let your hands on his arms as your eyes looked him up and down. "What is still hurting?" you asked and directed your gaze back to the visor. "It's fine" he repeated and let out a strained cough. You shot him a glare that made him clear his throat. "It's just the bruises." You bit your lip, holding your breath as you feared you would start crying again. You let go of him and wanted to sit down onto the co-pilot seat to take some deep breaths before heading down to get him some medications. But he caught your hand in his before you could, pulling you back to him. His visor lowered and he stared at your empty hands, not one single ring was adorning your fingers now. He knew what you had done to get him out of that arena and to say he felt guilty would be an understatement. "Thank you." You shook your head. "The kid healed you, I... I didn't do much" you explained, patting his gloved hand that was still around yours. "No" he shook his head. "Thank you." You stared at him in confusion before your eyes fell down to your hands. You furrowed your brows as you looked at your empty hands in sadness. "You gave them all up?" his voice was quiet, barely a whisper his modulator struggled to pick up. You nodded, eyes hardening. "Yeah? They were just stupid metal anyway, don't worry" you blocked with a shrug of your shoulders. You freed your hands from his. "I'm going to check on the kid and get you some painkillers. Don't move" you warned him with a small and what was supposed to be a playful smile but it turned out more like a strained grimace. Even with the false cheerful tone in your voice, you both knew that you had lied about the rings. The traces your tears had left behind were enough prove for that.

_______________

To say you didn't notice the absence of your rings, the absence of one in particular, would have been a lie. Even after weeks you still missed the metallic clank they would make whenever you touched something on the ship. You missed absentmindedly twisting the one ring between two fingers. You felt their absence more heavily than when they had been on your hands. You distracted yourself as far as that was possible. The first days you busied yourself with tending Din's bruises. You had already used all of the bacta on him but you had found some salve that should help against the swelling and pain. After maybe a week he was fit again so you had to find another distraction, which was the kid. And when the kid was asleep you busied yourself with repairs on the ship until you would pass out in your own bed. Din wasn't oblivious to your state and you knew that he felt guilty. After all you had traded them in for him. And even if you told him it was alright, you knew he didn't believe you. He would continue to feel responsible for it no matter what you told him which was stupid because his life meant more to you than some worldly possession. You still missed them but you would always act the same. So, you tried to not show him your gloomy state. But he noticed it anyway. He knew what that ring meant to you after all.

You laid in your makeshift bed -too tired to busy yourself with any work today- while the kid played by your side with something he had found. You only paid attention halfheartedly, just enough to be able to react should he try to eat it. Din had gone out to the nearest town's market, asking you to stay on the ship with the Child. You didn't put up a fight, nodded and laid down immediately after he had left. The less you had to move the better. But Din had been out almost all day now, it was already getting darker and you began to worry. You wanted to grab your comlink you had placed next to you only to find nothing. Sitting up you scanned the floor, but the squeal of the Child attracted your attention. Slowly you turned to him and stared at the thing in his hands: your comlink. You smiled at him and stretched one hand out. "Can I have that back, please?" The Child stared up at you with his big, dark eyes, tilting his head in curiosity. "You can have it back after I called Din" you added. And if he understood you or not was open to debate but he let the comlink fall into your hand either way. "Thanks, buddy" you said and stroker over his head with a strained smile before booping his nose. He squealed in delight. Chuckling you placed him on your lap and let him play with the fingers of your free hand while activating your comlink with the other. "Mando, come in. Where are you?" you asked. No answer. You waited. You were about to repeat your question when the device sprang to life. "I'm on my way back" was all he said before the comlink in your hand fell silent again. Shrugging your shoulders, you gave it back to the kid, watching him play with it more closely than before.

You were still sitting on your improvised bed, the Child had fallen asleep in your lap, when the ramp on the side of the ship opened up. Unmoving you watched as Din walked in, the ramp closing up behind him again. He didn’t address you but he seemed strangle energetic as he put the supplies he bought away. You raised one eyebrow at him in question but he didn't look your way. Only when he was finished did he walk up to you, coming to a halt a few inches before you. Tilting your head upwards you just watched him questioningly. "I have something for you" he said and by the sound of his voice you were pretty sure he was smiling. With a puzzled look you furrowed your brows. For you and not the Child? He nodded as if he had heard your silent question. Still confused you stood up, sitting the still sleeping kid down in Din's sleeping pot. "What is it?" you asked intrigued, unable to suppress the childlike wonder shining in your eyes. The Mandalorian didn't speak up and instead just opened up his hand. You froze. "What?" With wide eyes you stared at the small silver ring lying in his palm. A ring that looked like two intertwined ones. Your mouth fell open as your eyes shot up to meet his dark visor. "What is this? It's not the original one, it's far too shiny, unworn and too skillfully made but- what?" you rambled before your eyes fell back down. Hesitantly you reached out, grabbing it with two fingers and inspected it in the artificial light of the Razor Crest. The ring was fairly similar but... "It's ... heavy" you stated. Not necessarily 'heavy' just ... it weighted more than the metal rings you had worn before.

"It's made out of beskar." Your mouth fell open once again as you stared into the black visor. "I let it be made out of a piece of my armor" he sounded strangely flustered, body stiff and unmoving. You were unable to say anything so you just smiled at him. It was small but grateful, the first real smile after you had traded them in. You realized that this was his way of thanking you for your sacrifice. You couldn't suppress the rolling of your eyes. Then your attention went back to the ring in your palm when you suddenly noticed something engraved into the inside of the ring. "What is that?" you asked him, tilting the ring so he could see it too. He chuckled slightly. "May I?" he asked as he reached for the ring. You nodded. He took the ring to read the words out loud to you. With a puzzled look you just stared at him. "It's a phrase in Mando'a" he added. For some reason you felt your face heat up. He let something engrave in it in his native tongue? "What does it mean?" "It translates to: 'I'm still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal.' It's supposed to be in remembrance..." he didn't finish but he didn't have to, you knew what he meant. You froze, blinking unmovingly up at the Mandalorian. He stretched out one hand, signaling you to put yours inside. When you did that, he pulled you a bit closer to him and placed the ring on the finger where you had always worn the one made by your father. You were stunned and opened your mouth to thank him but he spoke up first. "I know it won't replace the actual ring but I wanted to give you something because I ... I feel responsible." Your face fell as you drew your hand back. "Din!" you scolded him harshly, making the Mandalorian flinch. You would have laughed at that if you weren't so frustrated. "Stop that! It's okay, they were only metal. Even with the sentimental value it was still just an object." The Mandalorian shrugged his shoulders and tilted his head down as if he was embarrassed. With a heavy sigh you stepped closer to him and grabbed both his hands in between yours. "It hurts to have lost something my father had made" you continued, staring unblinkingly into the black of his visor. "But do you really think I would have let you die for it? You mean more to me than some stupid ring!" Without a second thought or any hesitation you wrapped your arms around Din and hugged him tightly. The armor was a bit uncomfortable but that didn't matter to you in that moment. Burying your face into the cold chest plate you furrowed your brows. "Sometimes you're such an idiot" you mumbled into his chest, tightening your clutch on him. The Mandalorian stood there like a rock, frozen in place and probably with wide eyes. Then, very slowly, he wrapped his arms around you too. And in that moment, everything felt worth it. Silent tears dropped down your cheeks. "I thought you would die, Din!" you pressed out between gritted teeth, burying your fingers into the fabric of his cape. "I thought I-" you couldn't continue as a lump formed in your throat.

Din hummed in an attempt to soothe your tears but it only made you sob more. Slowly he pulled you off of him. Your gaze fell to the floor, silent tears still dropping out of your eyes. When you felt his gloved hands cupping your cheeks you let him direct your gaze back onto him. He had bend down a bit, so your faces were almost level. "I don't know why I'm crying" you said helplessly, your eyes darting over his helmet, searching for an anchor. "It's okay, (Y/N)" he whispered. For a few seconds you just looked at each other in silence before he pressed his forehead against yours. The coldness of the beskar made you shiver as you stared at him wide eyed. "I'm fine." You couldn’t hold back the sobs as you cupped his helmet like he cupped your face. Pressing your forehead against his, you closed your eyes. And suddenly you realized that those tears were all the words you didn't say since that day at the arena. All those worries and fears you had felt in the moments you thought he could be dead already. All those pent-up emotions finally broke free. Only now did your brain realized that Din was alright. And when your tears eventually ran dry, did the fear clutching your heart for all those weeks vanish.

_______________

Later that night you sat in one of the co-pilot seats again, watching Din closely as he started the ship and left the planets orbit. Or at least you tried to because your eyes often fell back down to your hand, to the ring Din let be made for you. You two didn't talk much after your tears had finally dried out but you didn't have to. Everything that needed to be said had been with that little gesture of his. With a sigh you sank back further into the seat and took the ring of, twisting it in the light to look at the engraved words once more. A soft smile found its way on your lips. "Hey, Din" you spoke up after a long time of silence in the cockpit. The Mandalorian hummed, tilting his helmet in your direction. "I want you to know that you didn't have to do that for me" you said, staring into the darkness of his visor. "I don't blame you, I never have. I would have gotten over it eventually..." "I know" he answered, turning the seat so he could face you fully. "But I wanted to." He fell silent again but because he was still facing you, you suspected he wanted to say more. So, you waited. "Do you like it?" he finally continued after a long pause. "The ring, I mean." Your smile grew as you nodded. You straightened up and reached for his hand, squeezing it lightly. "I love it" you whispered, your eyes filled with honesty and gratitude. "Thank you."

#the mandalorian #din djarin #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x female reader #the mandalorian x female reader #mando x reader #female reader #fluff #angst #the mandalorian oneshot #mando #the mandalorian series

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star-killer-md · 3 years

Text

Dream a Little Dream of Me Pt. 8

Well folks I have returned after a long break. I was hit with a wave of no motivation and life shit but thank you to everyone who has read all my other shit and left me such nice feedback. I am patently horrible at responding to comments but I see them all and love them so much. There is not much Kylo in this chapter, so apologies in advance but I promise there will be plenty of him to come.

AO3 Mirror

Part 9 to come

Warnings: Angst, angst and more angst, not much else except for that so buckle up.

Summary: In which you discover sometimes knowing is worse.

Ship: Kylo Ren x Negotiator!Reader

Word Count: 6.4k

Your breathing stopped along with the footsteps at the door. One hand remained pressed firmly against your mouth while you shrunk as far under the desk as possible. There was only horrid stillness for the next few moments. You got the distinct impression that whoever stood at the entryway was tasting the very air, sniffing like a predator for blood spilled into the sea. And a chill ran through you the second he caught your scent. A voice like ice and stone rang out as the hunt began in earnest.

“You know, it’s impolite to enter a room without permission,” Atreus mused from behind you.

The sound of it coupled with the knowledge that he was only mere footsteps away made your limbs shake. Like a wild creature caught in a snare, you were flooded with instinctual fear at the sound of the door clicking shut.

“Though I will admit, I was hoping you would pay me a visit.”

He was pacing now, footsteps softened by the carpet but still perceptible. To your right the embellished wardrobe doors were flung open accompanied by a dissatisfied grunt. You frantically searched the immediate area for paths of escape—or potential weapons if it came to that—but there was nothing. Your back was to the door and Atreus stood directly between you and the only way out.

As the likelihood that you would walk out of this office dwindled, you cursed yourself and your hubris for ever taking this job in the first place.

There must have been a saying about this type of thing somewhere, but you couldn’t seem to recall any at the moment.

“You ought to show yourself,” he continued, every word laced with mockery and disgust.

He was getting closer with each step. There were only so many places to hide and judging by the fading noises of clutter being moved, all but one had been exhausted. He was going to find you and you were going to die.

At least you would be right about one thing.

Kylo Ren really was a liar.

“I never took you for a coward,” fingers drummed on the desk above you and it creaked as Atreus leaned his weight over the top, like a ship's hull as it kicked into hyperdrive.

He was so close now you could smell him, all artificial cologne and shoe polish. If you hadn’t been trying so hard to hold your breath before you certainly were now. His own came in calm, measured puffs and you closed your eyes tightly as if that could hide you any further. While your last moments alive and breathing wasted away, you recalled all the times the Commander had called you arrogant or prideful or any other combination of synonyms that all meant the same damn thing: foolish.

Before you might have called it confidence. Might have thought he and all your other superiors were simply threatened by their inability to tear you down. Now you just kicked yourself for being cocky enough to leave your back turned.

“Seems I was mistaken, Ren.”

What?

You recoiled at the name and very nearly said the word aloud as your eyes flew open in shock. But the legs which came into view—unnervingly long and thin— and situated directly in front of the desk turned anything you might say to dust on your tongue.

Why was it, even at the moment of your imminent demise, that the Commander was inevitably mentioned?

Could you really not be executed for political gain in peace?

“I know you’re here. I can feel it,” he began but was interrupted by two more approaching footsteps and a blessedly familiar voice.

“No, I’m sorry sir, I’ve been away sampling catering options,” Lem’s soft, clear tone was more relieving that you’d care to admit.

You swore if you lived through the next five minutes, you’d apologize for every rude thing you’d ever said to him.

Well, all the rude things you’d been wrong about.

“You were in your office just before I left,” Gahl grumbled and stopped just outside the door, wrapping twice. “Atreus, are you quite finished in there? I’d rather not be late to dinner just because you’ve stained your tie.”

The creak of hinges nearly had you slamming your head into the desk in shock.

“No sir, I lent the space to our guest from the First Order,” Lem prattled nervously and you heard Atreus growl as he shifted in place.

“You shouldn’t be letting just anyone wander around here, Alba,” the advisor huffed before adding under his breath, “You never know what they might get into.”

“Really, you’re the one that suggested we invite—” Lem was drowned out by another soft knock and the creaking of a door across the hall.

You didn’t bother tuning into what Gahl had been mumbling about as Atreus’s knees slowly bent and you were once again filled with the rush of dread at the prospect of being discovered. At best you’d be labeled as a conspirator and sent back to the Finalizer for Hux to have you killed himself for destroying Order relations to Coruscant. At worst, you were destined to die on the goddamn floor at the feet of a greasy, poor excuse for an advisor.

But in fact, neither of those options played out.

Instead, you found the world going black for just a split second—no more than a blink—and when you woke it was to a hand gently rocking your shoulder.

You bolted upright, startled to find yourself no longer cramped on the floor, but seated in Lem’s office. There was a small puddle of drool on the desk and Lem himself staring down at you, brows knit in concern.

“You alright?” he asked quietly.

But you didn’t respond right away, just looked wide-eyed out the door as Atreus rose from the floor and met your gaze with his own indecipherable expression.

From beside you, Lem squeezed your shoulder again and you turned to face him.

“Yes, sorry,” you muttered, shrugging away from him and rolling your neck. Every joint and muscle in you felt stiff. “I must have dozed off a bit.”

“I can see that,” he chuckled but his face never lost it’s questioning look.

“Right, well,” you continued, hastily gathering your things. The air felt thick and stuck in your throat. You wanted to get out—needed to get out—immediately. “Thank you for the office, I’ll be on my way and send the drafts to you later this evening.”

Passing by Gahl at the doorway, you gave him a friendly nod and a quiet, “Representative, I hope you have a lovely evening.”

You were nearly out of the wing entirely when that god awful voice sunk it’s claws into your leg again.

“Oh, but you must join us for dinner,” Atreus hummed.

He had sauntered back out to stand behind the Representative and was pinning you down with a horrifically sweet smile. It was so wrong on his face you shuddered at the sight. Gahl, annoyingly, nodded along as he looked you up and down.

“A good suggestion,” he said heartily. The redness of his cheeks and the slight sway in his step suggested he’d had more than just one drink before returning. “We haven’t had the chance to speak much since you came.”

Shit. That bastard knew you couldn’t refuse a personal invitation lest you run the risk of seeming rude or suspicious when you were here to supposedly mend ties. Gahl might have been drunk enough to forget the impasse but Atreus was not as dimwitted.

“Well, I suppose I can’t refuse such a kind invitation,” you gritted out as politely as possible.

Gahl clapped once, loudly and turned back, calling to Lem, “Wonderful! Lem my boy, you’ll meet our friend in the lobby, yes?”

“Of course,” he said, blonde head popping out of the doorway and offering you a sympathetic smile. “You can go drop your things off and change if you’d like, I’ll wait for you.”

You sighed and flashed a hopefully convincing grin at the three men, “Thank you, I shall see you momentarily.”

With that you tried your best not to turn and bolt, but waited at least until you got three corridors down before collapsing to the floor in a pile of stuttering breaths and shaking hands. You tucked your head between your knees and tried to inhale deeply. The insides of your head pounded with the slick, viscous sound of Atreus’s words. The only thing that pulled you to your feet again was the insistent need to get as far away from it as possible.

The hallways blended together as your feet carried you father and father from the offices, the Representative, and your almost murderer. You had hoped your room would offer some reprieve from the panic, that there may be someone waiting for you inside to spin comforting lies of safety.

There was not.

The room contained nothing but freshly made sheets and a white blotch on the wall where a hole had been patched.

Nothing at all to indicate the Commander had set foot there since your return.

You considered calling for him briefly. It had worked before, and the shame of crawling behind his hulking form to hide away was incredibly alluring. But instead you found yourself discarding your jacket and top in favorite of something slightly more upscale. The clothes landed in a pile by the bed where you sat for a moment.

With the door and several floors of high rise architecture between you and that slimy bastard of an advisor, you thought again about what your second dive into espionage had dredged up.

‘In his head’, Atreus said you were in his head long before you ever came on this assignment. Kylo had bristled at the words, shut you down quickly and you were used to secrets—you had many yourself—so you knew one when you saw it.

Bond.

The word rolled around in your skull, burned on your eyelids in that awful, messy script.

It hurt to think about.

Physically hurt, like someone was digging needles into your spine.

So you didn’t think about it.

Not yet.

Instead, you finished fixing your outfit and walked back out of the empty room. There were answers and you would find them, but it was clear you’d have to get them on your own. So you let the door click shut behind you and took a deep breath. It was just dinner. You could do dinner and you would get your answers.

On your own.

****

The food looked painted onto the plate, contrasting colors and lovingly set out, but tasted like sawdust in your mouth. A shame too, it smelled better than anything you’d been served yet on Coruscant and was certainly a hundred times more extravagant than anything the Finalizer’s cafeterias stocked.

But having the man who was seconds away from killing you just a short hour ago stare diagonally across the table with his corpse like eyes every time you moved did quite the number on your appetite.

Thankfully, Lem was seated in front of you and had been prattling away for most of the meal, leaving you with little silence to fill. Part of the way through your fourth or fifth wood-chip bite, Gahl decided to change that. His voice was low and grated with age as he turned in the seat beside you to speak.

“So, how are you enjoying your stay on Coruscant?” he asked, inching his leg out of the chair and closer to yours.

“You’ve been very hospitable, Representative, I have absolutely no complaints,” you lied through your teeth, smile just as purposefully arranged as the food in front of you.

Gahl’s hand patted your thigh just as he’d done at your first meeting, “Glad to hear it, I’m sure it’s nothing like those Star Destroyers.”

You cursed every social rule of polite society which kept you from putting your knife through his hand.

“It’s certainly a change of pace,” you mumbled around another flavorless mouthful. “Lem has been a wonderful guide.”

In fact, you would give anything to be surrounded once again with nothing but bland, grey durasteel and the eyes of officers who were more than happy to pretend you didn’t exist. You’d even take standing in General Hux’s office, watching his ginger head flit about between sifting through files and insulting your diction in reports. If the Commander would even bother to look your way, you would have taken his cold, inaccessible stare over this as well.

As your thoughts drifted further in the direction of Kylo Ren, another chilling voice joined the conversation.

“Oh, don’t feel the need to flatter him,” Atreus chose that moment to chime in, scoffing into his napkin. “No doubt Alba’s simply talked your ear off about his low class, wait staff dalliance.”

Lem bristled, cheeks a comical pink with rage, “He has a name.”

“Well, I’m sure he does, but I simply do not care to learn it,” Atreus sipped his drink and scowled. “You shouldn’t be fraternizing with the servers at all, it’s unbecoming of an aide to the Representative.”

Across the table, Lem deflated and looked between you and Gahl. You were given the distinct impression this was not a new topic of conversation.

“He’s right about that my boy, you can buy whoever you like now on the salary I pay you,” the Representative chuckled and downed the contents of his glass.

“I’m sure our guest would agree,” Atreus’ eyes were trained on the plate but you felt his gaze on you all the same.

“Relationships between superiors and subordinates are...frowned upon in the Order, I suppose.”

You only caught a glint of the light off Lem’s slicked yellow hair as he turned toward the man beside him.

“Certainly but it must happen,” he said.

“Of course it does,” Atreus looked at you then, the blue of his iris was so light it nearly blended into the whites. “But it would be quite a dangerous predicament, especially somewhere like the Order, would it not?”

You were sure to keep your face blank and unassuming, though it was either much less convincing than you believed it to be or Atreus was actively capable of hearing the panicked screaming of your internal monologue.

“Yes, yes it would be,” you nodded and looked back down to the table.

“Particularly with someone of your standing, working directly under the General, I can only imagine the implications of a relationship with anyone high enough to be your senior.”

You could feel your eye twitch and your jaw tense almost against your will, as if Kylo Ren himself was choosing this very moment to inhabit your body. Really, you almost wished that he would, especially with his aggravating ability to remain completely unreadable in even the most stress inducing of situations. But alas, the only part of you Kylo inhabited was your mind in the form of an incredibly inappropriate slew of evidence for your so-called ‘dangerous predicament.’

“Hm,” you hummed quietly in agreement, hoping he’d drop the subject. “It would be quite unsightly, I’m certain.”

Meanwhile, Lem stared at you incredulously and hurriedly excused himself from the table mumbling something about the restroom. His blonde head quickly disappeared into the crowd and you were left alone with the Representative and his advisor, a pit developing in your stomach. And it was only made deeper by the muted betrayal in Lem’s parting tone.

“The boy has always been too sensitive,” Gahl offered by way of explanation and Atreus nodded slowly.

“He cracks too easily under scrutiny. He should know by now that softness is not a very useful trait in this line of work.”

You frowned and shifted in your seat, swiftly moving the Representatives gnarled hand from your leg.

“Some amount of give is crucial in politics,” you said, gaze flicking between the two men. “It’s important to be able to bend to your adversary every so often. Being underestimated by your opponent often means you’ve been unwittingly awarded the high ground.”

Gahl laughed heartily again as you excused yourself as well, though Atreus remained stony calm even when you glanced back between the sea of tables and waiters and expensive suits.

Lem emerged from a side door not long after you’d posted yourself in the short, empty hallway leading to the restrooms. He would have walked straight past you if not for your hand swiftly yanking him back by the arm.

“Wait,” you hissed as he turned to face you huddled in one of the doorways.

“What?” he hissed back.

Well. That was a fair enough question, though you hadn’t exactly thought that far.

Lem stared at you with brows furrowed, obviously less than thrilled with how things were left off. A small part of your mind, which you were more than happy to bury and ignore, whispered that you ought to apologize. But that was most certainly not why you came after him.

No, leaving the table was simply to punctate your last statement.

Not because some part of you felt...guilty.

Absolutely not.

In fact, this was a perfect opportunity to do some more digging. Lem was your pseudo-informant and that was all.

Right.

That was certainly why the following words left your mouth in a tumble.

“Are you okay?”

Lem paused as you let your hand fall from his arm, shuffling back so he could stand out of sight in the door frame across from you. He still looked cross, but his lips quirked up just a bit. You supposed he’d asked you the same so many times in just the last day, it would be appropriate for you to return the favor.

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “That was by no means a new conversation.”

“Under different circumstances, I would have been a bit more…” you trailed off and Lem offered you a signature toothy smile.

“Appearances and all, I get it. Atreus uses any excuse he can find to bring up Jane since he caught us a week or so before you got here,” Lem sighed, running a hand through his neat hair.

“Who?”

The look you received was even more incredulous than before.

“Jane, my—”

“Right, the waiter,” you nodded and raised your hands in apology, “so, why exactly does it matter who you’re seeing?”

Lem shook his head, “It doesn’t really, since I’m just an aide, but I’m fairly convinced he’s been trying to get rid of me since he was brought on.”

A gaggle of restaurant staff rushed past to the bar where a woman was loudly complaining about her food. You welcomed the attention her display drew away from you.

“Oh, he wants me gone too,” you muttered and quickly waved off the comment when Lem leveled you with another confused glance. “Any particular reason why?”

He shrugged and hunched over so he could lower his voice, “Not sure, but I do know he’s been butting his greasy head in whenever the opportunity presents itself. He climbed the ranks quicker than most of the other staffers.”

Now that was interesting. Bless Lem and his affinity for gossip.

“That seems odd,” you frowned. “I hadn’t heard of him until this assignment, and I like to think I’m fairly well informed.”

Lem scoffed and peered over his shoulder as if he would find Atreus there, breathing down his neck, “I’m sure you are. He just happened to materialize one day, determined to take my job.”

Yes and your life as well, but Lem needn’t know about that.

“Strange.”

“Yes it is,” he replied. “And they’ll think the same if we’re gone much longer.”

You nodded and watched him turn to merge back into the crowd, but he paused halfway into the hall.

“Thank you,” he said simply and slipped away, past the bar and into the waves of diners.

You waited another few minutes after Lem disappeared, and allowed yourself a small, secret smile. If for no other reason than your success at finally piecing together some information about the spiraling mess your life had become. But mostly at the rosy cheeked and chuckling sincerity that alleviated some of the uncomfortable fluttering in your stomach.

And you found the food a little less like chalk, the nerve wracking stares and inappropriate touches a little more bearable the rest of the night.

***

The elevator ride back to your room was far more excruciating than any of the other unpleasant encounters you’d experienced that day. At least when you were cowering on the floor making peace with the fast approaching end to your mortal body, you couldn’t feel the bearer of your death breathing down your neck.

It was so uncomfortable, you actually wished that the touch-happy, drunken Representative had tagged along instead of staying back till last call at the bar. Your heartbeat racketed up three times its normal rate when Lem pressed the button for his room a few floors below yours instead of riding back with Atreus to the office suites.

“Did you want to discuss my notes for a bit?” you asked, trying and somewhat failing to keep the desperation out of your voice.

Lem looked at you with a strange expression on his face, nose turning a darker shade of pink than usual, “Oh, ah, another time maybe. I have, um, someone waiting for me.”

From behind, Atreus scoffed.

“Truly, you are shameless, Alba,” he said and you heard him shift behind you.

“Right,” you wanted to push the issue harder, but it would be worse if Atreus suspected you knew anymore about his plot than he already did. “I’ll see you later in the week then.”

The panel above the transparent sliding doors rang and Lem stepped out into the hall, “Yes, well not too long till the big reveal, so I’m certain we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”

The soft hiss of the doors closing again reverberated in your bones like the thunking of an executioner's blade. You swallowed as your tongue turned to stone in your mouth. There were only a handful of floors in between before your stop but that would be more than enough time to maim your body beyond recognition and throw it down the incinerator shaft.

You reminded yourself sternly that it was unlikely Atreus would exact whatever assassination plan he had in place in such a secluded space, but fear responses were not easily reasoned with.

Atreus remained resolutely out of your line of sight and that only made the deep, instinctual part of your brain howl for you to run, claw, bite. Oh if only it were that simple, there would surely be far fewer aggravating superior officers in your life.

The numbers on the panel moved far more slowly than you thought they ought to. With every extended second you spent in that horribly cramped lift, the air grew thicker with tension and the rancid smell of panic. Finally, finally, the panel flashed your floor number and the doors moved aside to reveal the beautiful sight of an empty hallway. But just before you crossed the threshold to freedom, an iron grip clamped hard down on your wrist.

“So sorry to keep you,” Atreus began and you spun to face him. “It has only just occurred to me I haven’t had the opportunity to discuss anything with you regarding the Representative and the subject matter of your speech.”

He really had to wait until now to do this, now when escape was dangling over your head like an unfortunate prisoner hanging over the maw of a hungry sarlacc.

“Yes, well Lem has been providing council with respect to the Order’s representation of Representative Gahl in all our official statements,” you replied calmly.

The slightest twitch of your hand revealed a shocking amount of force hidden in the advisor's lanky arms. You stuck your foot back as the doors began to close, unable to bear another minute trapped behind them.

“Of course, I simply wouldn’t want you being led astray by any of Alba’s short comings,” the grip on your wrist tightened almost imperceptibly, “I’d like to work more closely with you as we approach the first campaign endorsements.”

“Certainly,” you forced a tight smile in his direction. “I would greatly appreciate your input.”

The words sliced your lips as they tumbled out. You were accustomed to lying, yes, but stars that was potentially the least believable statement that had ever left your mouth.

“I’m sure.”

Staring hard into his dead man’s eyes, you tried not to breathe a sigh of relief as he unfurled his fingers from your wrist. Stepping back clumsily into the hall you waited until the doors hid his cheap imitation of a smile before you heading down the hall to your room. Better he not know which turn you took.

You ran the rest of the way back.

The tightness in your chest subsided by degrees the farther you got to safety and you didn’t even bother denying to yourself the hope that your Commander in all his black cloaked, looming glory would be waiting to stand between you and the reality waiting just outside.

You really should have known better than to put any faith in his promises.

“Kylo?” you whispered into the empty room.

He didn’t answer. Of course he didn’t, and maybe that was the only reason you were brave enough to call out for him.

There was a familiar black bag propped in the corner by your luggage which indicated Ren had at least returned to the Federal District at some point during the evening. That at least was something of a comfort, though a very small one.

You grabbed one of the chairs from the table and shoved it securely back under the door handle. It scrapped against the floor and your shin throbbed as you kicked it in place. Once again the clothes on you wore seemed to have been permeated with whatever disgusting, oily sheen that leaked off of the absolute slug of a man currently puttering around in his office planning the best way to choke the life out of you. They itched and stung and you tugged at them quickly, pulling each item off in a flurry like coals blistering your bare skin.

Free from the growing pile of discarded laundry you dug around through your cases. Your hands still shook as you scattered the contents, pulling on fresh bottoms that didn’t reek of lies and aftershave. You paused as your fingers brushed against something far softer than any of your Order regulation garments.

Large, flowing, and predictably black, Kylo Ren’s undershirt hung in your hands like a shroud.

You battled with your instincts. Half of you—the portion still living in the past where hatred was a simple comfort—wanted to ball it up and stomp it full of dusty boot prints. That side did not win and its screaming reduced considerably as the shirtsleeves made their way down your arms. You were enveloped immediately in a sense of sheer relief coupled with the feeling that what you were doing was profoundly reckless.

But even if it was a false sense of security, your hands and knees were not shaking as badly as before.

The Commander was intimidating and cold, but in addition he was intimidating and cold and standing resolutely between you and danger which was more than you could say for just about any other coworker.

You supposed he was probably a bit more than that now.

Eyes shut, you recalled the warm, full feeling of his approval upon seeing you in his clothes. The way it rushed through you and pulsated when he let his voice echo in your head. You wondered what it felt like for him. Was your voice a grating nuisance or was it a tingle at the back of his neck, the shiver of cool hands or maybe the surge after a well won battle.

How did he do it, you wondered. How did it feel to read you so easily? To know all your doubts and fears and micro-defiances before they left your mouth. And how did he remain so resolutely aloof?

Even now, as you tensed your jaw and tried to focus on the smell of him surrounding you and conjure his presence, there was nothing but dead air. You sighed and let your knees thunk down to the floor.

Unsurprisingly, it seemed that Kylo Ren only appeared when he wanted to, only answered your thoughts when it suited him. You could scream his name into the void of your mind but you couldn’t force him there—couldn’t Force him there. Which was unfortunate for many reasons. Being capable of wielding the throat crushing, invisible fabric of the universe at your will would have come in handy in so many situations. As you rubbed your eyes and prepared to wallow more thoroughly in the mess your life had devolved into, something caught your eye amongst the sea of clothing.

From the Commander’s open bag, you could see something brighter amongst the masses of black fabric. Further inspection revealed that the item was shoved into the back pocket of his trousers and when you looked closer, it was clear what you were looking at.

Your underwear.

Your underwear was hidden away in Commander Ren’s luggage.

And in your half shocked, half strangled endeared state, a memory surfaced.

The night you’d spent writhing on your bed as Kylo sat, watching as the Force fucked you open. The image of him was clear in your head—a princely, demonic being refusing you the luxury of pleasure through his touch and taking your soaked panties along as a trophy when he was finished with you.

It seemed like a lifetime ago.

You’d thought it was a dream then.

And wasn’t it? The lines between waking and fantasy were blurring more and more with every passing day. But Kylo hadn’t left. He was there when you woke, that you did recall clearly. But these were the same, still unwashed from all those nights ago.

Kylo had said there was a difference between dreaming and projecting, and to be fair you’d never been able to tell them apart. The Force was somehow involved. The same Force which seemed to have a questionable relationship with existing inside you. But it stood to reason, if someone as incompetent and disconnected as you could think yourself into Kylo Ren’s presence on very specific occasions, that he could do so whenever the hell he wanted.

And while the implications this knowledge had on all your other sexual escapades was at the forefront of your mind and burning your face to a crisp, another inkling was forming amongst the embarrassment.

If the Commander truly had projected himself—whatever that really meant—into your room to fuck you into oblivion without lifting a finger and kept what he’d taken, maybe you could do the same.

Maybe, sitting inside your coat pocket was your own dream contraband.

Crawling across the floor, you sifted through the mess at the foot of the bed until your hand felt something small and hard. Your breath stuttered in your chest as you pulled a familiar leather bound notebook from the pile and turned it over in your grip—hefty and solid and so very real in your hands.

Staring down at the book you were at once intensely excited and overwhelmingly terrified. Logically, you knew that you were alone here and free from prying eyes no matter how desperately you wished not to be, but delving into what promised to be the source for so many of your questions felt too risky in the open of your bedroom.

Quietly, you leaped over the bed and scrambled into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you and sliding down to the floor. Only then, with your back barricading you in with the tile cooling your heated skin, did you crack open the cover and begin to read the sloppy, looping scrawl across each page.

A picture began to form in your mind growing clearer with every passing page.

It was very much like reading the ramblings of a madman, and upon passing the first ten or so pages, your initial deduction of mad ravings only grew more accurate. The entries were similar to that of a diary, each one detailing a new piece of intel discovered. And just as you’d noted before, almost all of it had something to do with Kylo Ren.

And you’d thought you were a bit obsessive.

There were names you didn’t recognize, and some you did—members of the Order, high ranking and not, scattered about. Occasionally passages were quoted from what seemed to be incident reports and older texts of galactic history. And of course, there were consistent references to the ever mysterious Force. All of which were written in such personal detail that you could be certain they came from someone who, unlike you, could and knew how to use it.

The words were so jumbled, you had to reread each line and follow it like a hunting trail to the next running sentence. And the farther you got, the deeper you dived, the more you felt your insignificance looming—that tight in your throat feeling of being so small in the grand scheme of things.

In this scheme of things at least.

From what you could understand, all the events leading up to your assignment to Coruscant and everything that had transpired since your arrival all boiled down this: power and the struggle to possess it.

And at the center of it all was Atreus, Kylo Ren, and, inexplicably, you.

In this story, you began as nothing more than another pawn on the chess board. Your name appeared maybe twice in the entire first half of the nearly full notebook. You were a footnote, a name scribbled in the margins connected to the General due to your position. After that, it seemed Atreus had gotten his hands on some more confidential documents, dozens of them in fact judging from his lists. Some were immaterial and contributed nothing, but from what you could gather, buried amongst them were dozens of your correspondence all pertaining to the Commander and all of which more than hinting at the small grudge you carried for him.

He’d even quoted lines from you.

As you progressed, the text became even more garbled, the handwriting rushed and nearly illegible but it was easy enough to see where it was heading.

You were meant to be an example—of that you were certain. But not for the First Order, not because one Coruscanti representative wanted to stick it to its totalitarian overlords. Oh no, the threat of your death was meant as an example to Kylo Ren himself. It was a message, a lure, cast down from Atreus. When you first began to piece this together, it sounded intensely nonsensical.

Almost entirely due to the fact that this plan hinged on Commander Ren of all people, having a vested interest in your life. Which, up until very recently, you would have deemed impossible. If anything, you’d have guessed he would greatly benefit from your demise seeing as you were at best an annoyance and at worst a roadblock between him and forceful galactic takeover.

But then you reached that word.

Bond.

Scribbled over and bolded with arrows and circles. You still couldn’t truly grasp the gravity of what it meant, but looking it over again, you knew it was true. Whatever this thing was, between you and your Commander, this was its name. And having read the journal in its entirety, you understood now why that singular word had struck you so thoroughly to your core.

“You aren’t going to die.”

How many times had Kylo said that to you now?

And it was constructed to bring your downfall. This was exactly what it seemed Atreus was banking on. It seemed all this want, all this hypothermic, desperate searching for one another was manufactured. The sense of wholeness, a sham. The pit inside you, the anger, the balm of Kylo moving inside you—all orchestrated somehow to fit into this master plan to remove the Commander and take whatever he was standing in the way of.

Without this, you would have remained a nuisance swearing at Ren from across conference tables. Nothing more than a bug to be smashed against the wall and left to rot. And that sat terribly on your shoulders.

Just as the book fell from your hands and onto the tile floor, you heard a familiar rattling coupled by a crash from the room just outside. Heavy footsteps rang out against the floor and a door slammed.

Your name was called softly into the stillness. Just as you had called for him. A few moments of silence passed before you could answer, and when you did your voice felt strange in your mouth.

“In here,” you replied quietly, listening to his foot falls approach the door and come to a halt.

When you closed your eyes, you could almost hear his breath. Kylo paused at the door, the soft thump of his hand coming to rest against the wood the only other sound he made. You didn’t move from the floor and he made no attempt to open the door. The tingle at the back of your neck, the slight tugging of your strings, told you he could feel the thoughts racing in your head.

Only minutes ago you would have been relieved to feel the warm of him spreading slowly down your spine. Now it felt strangely soured. For a moment you thought he might rip open the door, maybe bend you over the vanity again and teach what happened when you called for him out line.

But he didn’t.

When you didn’t shift from your spot to step into his grasp, you felt him pull away and heard the rustling of sheets and clothing outside. You didn’t know what you would say to him now, so instead you got up slowly and turned the water on. The mirror fogged over as you stripped and tucked the little notebook away under your clothes so the steam didn’t seep into the pages.

You could wash now, you thought, and hopefully Kylo would have fallen asleep or left to stalk the halls again when you finished. Then you could buy yourself some time to think, unbothered by other prying eyes in your head.

You stepped into the stream and scrubbed your skin raw, and all while the little black book watched you from its place on the sink, ever plotting.

---------------------------

Taglist lovelies: @couldntfuckingtellya @contesa-lui-alucard @thewilddingleberries @isaxhorror @cowboy-kylo @findyourdarkness @kit-jpg @shesakillerkween @obsessionprofessional

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x female reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren fic #reader insert #kylo ren is not nice #kylo ren angst #dr. b writes #dr. b talks

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beetlelands · 3 years

Text

okay hey besties!!! im gonna post some of my drafts. this draft was simply titled “say uncle” and is from december 2019. it's the one i mentioned about beetlejuice being lydia's uncle, but i bet you could've guessed that.

“Lydia! Can you get the door?” Delia called out from the kitchen. The teen girl groaned dramatically in response from her spot on the couch. “Please?” Her stepmom-to-be shouted.

Lydia rolled her eyes but heaved herself off the couch. She lazily walked over to the front door, which had been loudly knocked on just moments ago.

“If I get killed, it’s all your fault.” Lydia cheerfully announced towards the kitchen before turning to open the door. Upon opening the door, Lydia’s jaw dropped.

There stood her uncle- Lawrence Betelgeuse “Beetlejuice” Shoggoth. The bastard himself.

Her shock quickly wore off into anger. She slammed the door in his face, but he simply knocked again. She took a deep breath before opening the door once more.

“Why are you here?” She spat, crossing her arms.

“C’mon didn’t you miss me?” He smiled, holding his arms out for a hug.

Lydia rolled her eyes, going to close the door again. Her uncle scrambled to keep the door from closing, pushing it open.

“What do you want?” She hissed, eyes narrowed at the man.

“Lucy, I’ve got some ’splaining to do.” He joked yet his tone was somber.

Lydia sighed but opened the door wide enough for him to enter. She walked to the couch, leaving him at the open door. He caught on and closed the door behind him as he followed her to the couch.

She sat down on one end and he on the other. Lydia was sat cross legged, looking at him expectantly.

“You have every right to be mad at me.” He started, but was interrupted.

“I had to show up to the funeral despite wanting to mourn alone in peace, so why couldn’t you show up to your own sister’s funeral? Dude, even Juno called to give her condolences. Juno for hell’s sake!” Venom laced her words, her pent up anger bubbling over. “So yeah, I have every right to be mad at you.”

“I know that was extremely shitty for me to do, and I do not expect you to forgive me. All I can ask is that you hear me out.” He sighed. “When I heard that Emily was getting sick, I drove myself insane trying to find someone- anyone- to help her. But that just got me in way too deep with some terrible people. I was so obsessed with wanting to cure my sister that I missed her death and her funeral.” He dragged a hand down his face. “I can’t go back in time. I can’t get back that time I should’ve spent by her side through it all. I can’t get back the time I should’ve spent with you and your father- grieving with you.” He sniffled, looking down. Lydia was rendered speechless by the tears threatening to spill from her uncle’s eyes. He hastily rubbed at his eyes, as if embarrassed by his emotions.

“I don’t want to forgive you,” She started quietly, “but I don’t want to hate you forever.”

“Well that’s a good start.” He smiled a little, earning an eye roll from the girl. “You don’t have to forgive me anytime soon, but please don’t shut me out. I wasn’t there when I should’ve been, but I’m here now. I’m here for you, for Charles- for the only family I have left.”

Lydia had never seen her uncle be so open and emotional. Sure, he was occasionally too open, but that was about his wild journeys and not his feelings. The man could recall his near death experiences in gory detail without batting an eye, but here he was choking up as he apologized to his niece.

The girl hadn’t noticed her own tears brimming in her eyes until he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Lydia looked up at him, and his heart ached from the time he missed.

Wordlessly, she fell into his arms and let out a quiet sob. He rubbed circles in her back, hoping to provide a further sense of comfort for the girl. Her breathing slowly evened out.

Charles walked into the room after being told by Delia that someone had knocked on the door. He had full intent to ask Lydia who was at the door, but was stopped in his tracks as he noticed the man- his brother in law. His initial glare at the man softened as he noticed him holding his daughter. Beetlejuice gave Charles an awkward smile, which he didn’t return.

He gave Lydia a small pat on the back before quietly talking to her. “Your old man’s here.”

She tensed before sitting up. She turned her head to look at Charles. “Hey dad… Uncle Beej is here.”

“I’m aware, Lydia.” He sighed, walking over to the couch. “Can you give us a moment?” His daughter nodded hesitantly before leaving. Charles sat down, taking Lydia’s place on the couch.

“Okay Chuck, I know I’ve got a lot of explaining to do-“

“The hell you do. You just up and leave without another word when your sister gets sick. No one had any contact with you.” He clenched his fist. “When Emily was on her deathbed, she asked for you. Asked where you were. And I couldn’t give her an answer because I didn’t know where the hell you were!”

Beetlejuice placed his head in his hands. “I’m the worst. I know. I’m a terrible person, but more so a terrible brother.” He looked up at Charles. “I’m not going to sit here and play the sympathy card- telling you how fucking depressed I’ve been for the past few months because of how absolutely shit I am as a person.” He evened out his breathing. “I don’t expect you to forgive me for my absence. I should’ve been here and I know I should’ve been. I should’ve been there for Emily and for you and Lydia. I should’ve fucking been there.” He seethed, angry with himself.

“Can I just ask- why? Why weren’t you there? And why are you here now?”

“When Emily told me she was sick, I lost it. You know the old conspiracy theory of the government hiding a cure for cancer and other big illnesses like that?” Hesitantly, Charles nodded. “Well I heard about these guys who were selling that kind of shit- real black market level business going on. But I was stupidly determined to get a cure. I got into some deep, deep shit that I will not be sharing for your own safety. Point is, I became so obsessed with trying to heal Emily that I pushed her away. In turn, I pushed you and Lydia away. And for that I’m sorry.” He sniffled. “I’m so fucking sorry.” His voice cracked with his anger and sincerity.

Charles was somewhat shocked by the man’s apology and how he didn’t seem to have an ulterior motive. He was just… sorry.

“I’m here now to make up for my mistakes. I know I can’t get back that time. But I’m here for you and Lydia, and wanted to apologize for not being here when it really counted.”

“Lawrence, you messed up. Badly.” Charles paused, sighing. “But your heart was in the right place. Hell, even just coming here and apologizing shows me how you’ve grown.”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, but-“

“I do.”

“I just- wait what?”

“I forgive you Lawrence.”

“Oh wow okay- I was not expecting that.”

“You meant well, and I know Emily wouldn’t want me to be mad at you forever.” Charles shrugged.

“Chuck I really want to hug you right now.”

With a laugh and a roll of his eyes, the taller man opened his arms to his brother in law, who launched into them. The two men embraced for a little bit before Charles tapped Beetlejuice’s back twice and he let go.

“I hope Lydia forgives me soon.”

“Was that not what that hug was about?”

“Eh not really. But she did say that she doesn’t want to be mad at me forever.”

“She’ll come around when she’s ready. She just recently came to terms with Emily’s death- not that it was an easy thing to do because trust me it wasn’t- but she’s mending and growing.” The man could’ve rolled his eyes at how much he sounded like Delia.

Beetlejuice nodded in understanding. He wanted Lydia to know he would be there for her, but would keep his distance if she wanted him to.

Time skip because I’m a delinquent

Beetlejuice made routine visits to the Deetz house. He didn’t know many other people in Winter River, and didn’t care to create connections in the small town. The only thing keeping him there was his family. When he wasn’t at the Deetz’s house, he was hiding out in the local motel. Sure, he would go out and explore every now and then, but he had no real drive to go out. Beetlejuice had gotten into the habit of laying low and was comfortable with the lifestyle. Plus, it’s not like he could go on with business as usual. He may have gotten out of everything, but that didn’t make him any less of a target than he was before. However, that doesn’t matter, as the man was more than content to lay low.

During one of Beetlejuice’s routine visits to the Deetz house, Lydia brought him to the roof. There they sat and talked for what felt like hours. She asked him about her mother, asking for stories of her. He smiled softly, a hint of sadness in his eyes, and launched into the story of Emily teaching him how to ride a bike. He kept to the lighthearted stories, despite the bittersweet taste they left in his mouth.

In between stories, Lydia spoke. Her words were quiet but meaningful. “I forgive you” she said simply, looking to her uncle for his reaction.

Beetlejuice smiled at the girl. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

“I think I’m starting to.” She mirrored his smile. “Can you tell me just one more story?”

“Sure, kid.” He thought for a second before beginning another story, this one about the time they had secretly taken in a stray cat. It had to remain a secret as Juno did not approve of having pets.

He was describing their convoluted plan to keep the cat hidden from Juno when a car pulled into the neighbor’s driveway. He and Lydia both seemed to have been distracted by the vehicle. The girl waved at the man who got out of the car and he waved back- he also waved at Beej despite not knowing who he was. But Beej returned the wave out of general hospitality.

“Is Barbara home?” Lydia called to the man.

“Yeah.” He checked his watch. “She should just about be done with dinner if you want to ask Charles if you can come over.”

At that Beetlejuice’s brows furrowed. Why would a grown man invite a teenager to his house. Not that the bespectacled, plaid shirt and khaki wearing man seemed dangerous. But that didn’t make it less weird. Okay he did say to ask Charles, but unless Barbara was his teenage daughter he didn’t see any reason for Lydia to go to his house.

“Oh yes! I could definitely do without Delia’s cooking tonight.”

“She’s getting better, Lydia.” He said sincerely, almost reprimanding the teen for her comment.

“Yeah true. I’d rather (idk man some vegan food) than banana-carrot surprise.” She made a disgusted face at the memory of the casserole type dish.

“See!” The man laughed a little.

“I’ll be over in a few!”

“Would you like to bring your guest?” He asked, finally addressing Beetlejuice.

She turned to her uncle, “Wanna go?”

“Sure.” He shrugged, a protectiveness tightening his chest. He knew the man meant no harm, yet his ‘trust no one’ motto was strongly built into his mindset.

Lydia excitedly threw a thumbs up towards the man on the ground. “He’s coming with me.”

“Okay, I’ll see you two in a few.” The man smiled before heading inside.

Beetlejuice fully turned to Lydia, “Who was that?”

“Adam Maitland. He’s kinda been like a second father to me. Not that dad isn’t great, it’s just- when mom died we grew distant. Dad wanted to soldier up, and keep moving. I don’t blame him, but at the time it was hard. I was still mourning while he seemed to have moved on.” She twisted her hands together. “One day I did something I’d rather not talk about. And well, Adam and Barbara were there for me. I was sad a-and angry and scared and confused, but they just sat with me. They listened when I talked, they held me when I cried.” She shivered at the memory. “Adam and Barbara became second parents to me.”

Ah so Barbara was not his teenage daughter, but perhaps his wife.

“Well now I’m excited to meet them.” Beej smiled, standing up. He offered his hand to his niece and she grabbed it. He pulled her up effortlessly, yet still groaned as if she was super heavy. The two shared a laugh at his antics as they headed inside the house.

Unsurprisingly, Charles said yes to Lydia (and Beej) going to the Maitland’s house. So that’s where they headed.

Lydia knocked on the door, which was soon opened by the man from before. Adam.

Seeing him up close made Beetlejuice realize that he was… attractive? No, that’s inappropriate. The man has a wife, Beej reminded himself as he shook his hand and introduced himself.

They made it to the dining room, where Barbara emerged from the kitchen with a pan of lasagna. The woman was breathtaking, but Beetlejuice relented the thought.

She placed it in the middle of the table and took a seat. Adam sat next to her. Lydia sat across from Adam, leaving Beetlejuice to sit across from Barbara.

“Hi I’m Barbara Maitland.” She smiled, offering her hand as Adam began serving the food.

He shook her hand, “I’m Lydia’s uncle Lawrence, but you can call me Beetlejuice- or some variation of it. Everyone does.” He shrugged.

“Beetlejuice?” She raised an eyebrow, just as her husband had done,

“Like the constellation Betelgeuse, but most people just spell it phonetically. It’s uh- it’s my middle name.”

“That’s very interesting.” She smiled, tone sincere.

“How much would you like, Beetlejuice?” Adam asked, spatula over the pan in an estimated size.

“That much is fine.” He smiled, moving his plate toward the pan. Adam swiftly placed the lasagna on his plate before dishing some out to Barbara.

The group ate quietly for a while. Toward the end of their meal, Barbara spoke up.

“How was your day, Lydia?”

The girl looked up from her plate and to the woman. “It was pretty good- but it’s even better now.”

“Because you’re not eating Delia’s cooking?” The woman asked with a laugh.

“Bingo.” Lydia smiled.

“You’ve got to ease up on her, Lyds. You and I both know she’s trying and improving.”

“Yeah yeah.”

“I’ve actually been gathering vegan recipes for her, making her a personalized cookbook. Adam and I have tried out most of the recipes, and I think you’ll like them.”

“Well here’s hoping.” The girl smiled a bit, finishing up her lasagna.

Beetlejuice admired how the woman was going out of her way to help improve Delia’s cooking. Which will in turn help Lydia, who often complains about the woman’s food and asks her uncle to bring her something else to eat.

The group continued with the small talk and soon enough Lydia and Beetlejuice were walking out the door. They had been invited to stay longer, but Beej didn’t want to intrude and Lydia decided to just go along with her uncle.

But that certainly wasn’t the last time the duo would be visiting the Maitlands.

It had been a few weeks since Beej first went to the Maitlands house with Lydia. And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t think they were attractive. However, Beetlejuice wasn’t that daft. He knew they were married and knew not to impose. Sure, he once had a threesome with a married couple back in New York but that wouldn’t be happening here. Not only were Adam and Barbara clearly not the type for that kind of thing, but they were also far too close to Lydia for him to even begin considering acting on his attraction. Which was strictly that- attraction. No feelings- no strings attached. Just basic, hormonal attraction.

Beetlejuice shook the thought from his head, buttoning the last button of his shirt. He grabbed his coat and slung it over his shoulder before leaving to go to the Deetz’s house.

He was walking up the driveway when he was greeted by the neighbors. Adam held a pair of garden scissors in one hand, the other waving at the other man. Beetlejuice waved back. Barbara smiled at the man and called out a hello. He returned the

and hey? that’s where it ends. very abrupt ik, but that’s where past me stopped

#straight up didn't edit this #long post #draft #not quite a work in progress bc there’s no way i’m gonna finish it #a work out of progress #i suppose???#breaking the fourth wall #beetlejuice fanfiction #beetlejuice #lydia deetz #charles deetz #barbara maitland #adam maitland #beetlelands #kinda

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generallyunskilled · 3 years

Text

Why I sympathize with or apologize for these Dream SMP characters

Since I’m very unwell and watch just about every perspective on the Dream SMP, I’m a sympathizer or apologist for just about every character. I figured I’d share my thoughts on that. This is probably gonna be long.

Before I get started, here’s who I’m not a sympathizer or apologist for

c!Dream: fuck this guy. You’re not supposed to sympathize with him. He’s just all around evil, man. He’s an abuser, manipulator and he preys on those weaker than him. I still enjoy his character however, he’s just so delightfully hateable and I love when villains are hateable.

c!Sam: I get Sam. I really do. I understand where he’s coming from. But good god, it’s just not working! His little system keeps fucking up and he doesn’t really seem to get that it’s the system itself and not the people fucking it up. He’s too damn lawful for his own good. The prison is eating at him and you can see how he’s becoming more and more a bastardized version of the man he used to be. I want to be able to sympathize with him, and I’m not going to excuse the shitty things he’s done, but I understand him. As he is right now he’s gone off the deep end and doesn’t even know it yet. However I do think he can change. There’s still a chance for it.

Any other character not listed I simply just do not have an opinion on them. Maybe I don’t watch them often, there’s just not much to their character, or they simply haven’t done much for them to need apologists or sympathizers.

Now onto the list

c!Tommy: this kid has been through so much and received so little support. Like yeah, he’s done some wrong things, but he’s been so disproportionately punished for them. Like almost everyone else does the things he does without any repercussions. He’s also stopped doing most of the things people had issues with, or is at least trying. I feel like people don’t realize half the reason Tommy did any of his ‘bad’ things is he’s simply never been taught better. Everyone wants him to learn his lesson but never actually teach him anything but violence and pain. Also, half the things the fandom calls him an asshole for are literally mental illness symptoms. Stop that. Kids got some things messed up in his head. I’m not one to diagnose but he gets pretty damn close to the criteria for C-PTSD. You know, from the near constant trauma in his life. Kid needs a break. And a doctor.

c!Techno: I’m really flip floppy with him. His motives are understandable but his morals are wack as hell. I get wanting something against people who’ve wronged you. I get disliking government. What I don’t get, is the absolute disproportionate retribution he delivers. I also don’t get his moral high ground. He has his reasons for distrusting government. He has his reasons for disliking L’Manburg (o7). And I think it’s perfectly valid to want to air his grievances. He’s got a very admirable combination of “do unto others” and “an eye for an eye”. Mans just bungles the execution of these ideas. He’s got a lot of problems, but however, I feel like he’s got something coming to him. cc!Techno’s a better writer than this. And now with it seeming like a lot of miscommunication is getting cleared up, some of Technos past transgressions might come back to him. I think he’s headed in an interesting direction.

c!Phil: a lot of what I said for Techno applies to him as well. In addition, we know he also blames the government for his son’s spiral and death. It makes sense based on what he knows. I had something completely different here in the drafts but now we know that Wilbur didn’t tell him the truth about what happened in Manburg-Pogtopia era of the SMP. He’s been completely misinformed and you can TELL this has shaken his world up. He’s gaining a lot of new knowledge really fast. It’s becoming clear that maybe he’s beginning to regret some of what he’s done. But beyond the misinformation, he also just never got much time to actually grieve for his son and heal before the plot moved on. I feel like Phil is one of those guys who sorta just stuffs all his emotions away, but now it’s getting to be too much. He has a lot of hidden depth and I think he’s definitely on the way to a different role than what he’s played.

c!Wilbur: before his death, Wilbur needed help. No one realized anything was wrong until it was too late to pull him out of his spiral. We now know he started falling after Eret’s betrayal. He was paranoid and growing to hate what he had created. It seems like Eret was the catalyst, but the election was the straw that broke the camels back. Everyone just kind of sat around and hoped he’d change his mind. The only one willing to try was Tommy, and Tommy was just a kid. Something could have been done for him. He wasn’t a villain. He was just someone who went down a dark path that could have been pulled away if someone who wasn’t a 16 year old boy tried to reach out to him. Post-resurrection, he seems to be happy to be alive again. I’m not saying he’s completely out of the spiral but clearly something changed in limbo. And yeah him saying Dream is his hero is hella sketch but I mean, he doesn’t have the full story yet. I need to see more of revivedbur to make an opinion on him entirely.

c!Tubbo: this kid has had so little agency for so much of the plot. Most of the bad things he’s done were under duress or because he was practically being used. He really was a pawn in other peoples games, unfortunately. Any action of his that wasn’t like this was something he did out of pure reaction. He’s a very reactionary guy. He doesn’t start shit but he’ll try to finish it if he can. Tubbo is mostly just trying to get by. He’s been a soldier, a spy, a president and whatever else he needed to be or what others needed him to be. His time as president had him being pushed around and put under pressure he should never been put under. He was backed into corner after corner and expected to make the right decision with different people telling him what that was. Now he’s just trying to have some peace for himself and his family. He made the nukes for defense and defense only. It’s extreme but he’s been taught that extremism is the only thing that works.

c!Ranboo: dude literally doesn’t know what, when, or how he did any of the bad things he did. He’s not himself for most of the wrongdoings he’s done. Hell, we don’t even know if he actually did do some of the things or if it’s Dream manipulating him. Dream is literally taking advantage of Ranboo having the Enderwalk state. This makes him one of the most dangerous people on the server as Dream puppet, but also one of the most victimized. Now this doesn’t absolve him completely because harm was still done but it’s a reasonable cause behind his actions. Like I mentioned he’s also a victim of Dream in this way. Even he’s scared of what could happen and the possibility that he could be a danger to the people he loves. Granted his moral code used to be pretty wack but he’s getting better at that. I really like his “choose people” stance bc at first it was just him making his own side but now he’s genuinely picking and choosing people and being with them because he likes them as people rather than their stance on things. He and Tubbo were already friends before they got married, he’s not an official part of Snowchester though, iirc, and the only reason he joined The Syndicate was to make sure they don’t go after Tubbo.

c!Fundy, c!Niki, and c!Jack all go in the “seek some healthy coping mechanisms for the love of god” pile. Niki has already started on this as she’s baking again. c!Fundy honestly hasn’t done much wrong afaik, but he still needs to go to therapy that poor fox boy has so much daddy issues and sadness. c!Jack literally just needs to work through his issues with Tommy bc dude only knows murder as an answer to his problems. There’s other ones and he should learn them. These three are just traumatized and don’t know what to do with themselves.

#mcyt #dream smp #mcytblr #dsmpblr #dream smp analysis #dream smp meta #dsmp analysis #dsmp meta #c!dream critical #c!sam critical #c!dream negativity

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writing-is-my-guilty-pleasure · 4 years

Text

Patient || Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x Reader ~ Part 2

A/N: Part 2 in the series! Wasn’t expecting such a positive response from everyone! It’s the first fic I’ve written in nearly a year that I didn’t delete or lose motivation for halfway through! The other fics I’m putting out are old drafts that I’ve re-edited to make them decent! This isn't the last part by the way - Part 3 is being written!

Part 1 || Part 3 || Part 4

Main Masterlist

Star Wars Masterlist

You yawned as you entered in the code for the med-wing door, and entered the med-wing feeling exhausted, and very ready to go to sleep. You’d just begun to clean out and replace the medical equipment that you’d used on Kylo when you heard the sound of someone clearing their throat coming from behind you. You whipped around, clutching an empty syringe in your hand, only to see the majority of the medical staff watching you, almost eagerly.

“What the hell are you all doing here?” You exclaimed, half exasperation, half in relief that it hadn’t been anyone dangerous. You put the syringe down, and leaned back on the sink, folding your arms over your chest. “Shouldn’t you all be asleep? Our shifts are over.”

“We wanted to know what happened!” Yasmyn piped up, admiration and slight awe in her eyes. “You’ve been gone for so long we started to think something had happened to you-” You raised your eyebrows in surprise. “But I kept telling everyone that you had to be doing something right, and you’d actually managed to knock some sense into him!” She grinned at you, practically bouncing on the spot in excitement.

“Well I did finally get him to accept my help.” You admitted proudly, grinning back at her. “I used some choice words that I did think were going to get me fired, or worse..” You grimaced, and a few members of the team winced at your expense. “But he actually sat down without any complaints and let me help him.” You finished, and staying aware of the time, turned back around and continued to clean and put away equipment as fast as you could.

The rest of the team spent a few minutes congratulating you and discussing the events of the day amongst themselves, before they all began to clock out and heads to bed, and get ready for another day of work. Once Yasmyn had closed the door behind her, you were left alone, tidying up the last few pieces of equipment

“It was pretty cool what you did today.” You gasped in surprise, nearly dropping what you were holding, and turned around to see Tyro leaning against the wall next to the door. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Oh! It’s okay, I was just startled.” You chuckled nervously. “And thanks, I guess I was just tired and fed up with him refusing help so I just told him what he needed to hear but didn’t want to.” He laughed slightly at your words, and instead of smiling along with him, you felt unease stirring within you. There was something about Tyro that just didn’t feel right.

He pushed himself off the wall and strolled towards you, and you tightened your grip on the side of the counter you were leaning on so you didn’t make a beeline for the door, punch in the code and get the hell out of there. It was probably just because you were tired and it was all in your head.

“You know, I always thought you were talented, and one of the more advanced medics onboard this ship.” He drawled, running a hand through his hair. “Aside from me, of course.” He said, looking rather smug. “I mean, if you were able to tame the great Kylo Ren, I can only imagine what else you’d be capable of.”

You felt your skin crawl as he spoke, but you hated being rude for no real apparent reason, and as much as you and Yasmyn made fun of Tyro on a regular basis, you didn’t want to get on his bad side - three weeks ago Tyro had beaten up one of the other medics so badly that they had to be excused from their duties for a week.

“Oh, I don't know,” You said vaguely, avoiding eye contact. “I think it was a heat of the moment thing. I’d never normally snap at a patient like that, or anyone for that matter.” You said honestly, pretending to be very interested in your fingernails now.

“Hey, I wouldn’t either,” He replied. Liar. “And I like your honesty. In fact,” He was standing right in front of you now, and you swore you stopped breathing as he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “I think that I really like you.” That was it. You ran, practically punching in the code to the door, and as soon as it was open you ran back to your room, not looking back to see if Tyro was following you.

Once you reached your room, you made sure that the door was locked behind you, and you leaned back on the door for a few minutes, breathing deeply and allowing your heart to stop beating so loudly. You checked that the door was locked again, before heading into your bathroom, and turning on the shower. You could still feel Tyro’s hand on your cheek, and you felt itchy and uncomfortable as a result of Tyro being so close to you, so you spent a good 30 minutes in the shower scrubbing your skin with soap, trying to get rid of any traces of him.

The next day at your shift, Tyro acted as if the night before never happened, and if anyone noticed that you were quieter than usual, they didn’t say anything.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The next encounter with Tyro was about a week later. It was the end of your shift and you were already back in your room, messaging Yasmyn on your pad, discussing the patients you’d had that day.

It’s our day off tomorrow, you should come to my room so we can chat in person! We haven’t caught up in so long! - Yas

You considered her offer. On the one hand, you know you wouldn’t get to sleep until very late if you stayed in her room and you’d be tired tomorrow, but on the other hand, as Yasmyn said, it was your day off tomorrow and you hadn’t been able to catch up with Yasmyn in ages.

You win! I’ll be there in a bit x

You signed off, and headed to your wardrobe to slip on a jumper, as it could get quite cold at night on the ship. You slipped your shoes on too, and you were just about to unlock your bedroom door when you heard what sounded like shuffling footsteps right outside your door. You swiped across the pad screen that doubled as a keypad, pulled up a camera feed of the hallway outside your room, and stopped your actions immediately when you saw who was outside your quarters.

Tyro was standing with his hands in his pockets outside your room, every so often glancing down the corridor to check if anyone was coming, and a couple of times his eyes would flicker up to the camera and he’d smirk, as if he knew you would be watching. You felt sick to your stomach, as you knew there was no way you could leave your room without having to speak and interact with him - and who knows what he’d do if he locked himself in his room with you.

The only thing you could do was walk back to your bed, and comm Yasmyn to tell her that you ‘didn't feel well’ , and wouldn't be able to come over tonight, but you promised to make it up to her at some point in the future. After you did, you sat down on your bed heavily, trying to ignore how fast your heart was beating, and the flashes of fear that would sear through your body every few seconds. The fact that he was lurking outside your room made everything seem far too real - you’d thought the incident a week ago had just been a one time thing, and that he’d leave you alone once you had very clearly expressed you weren’t into him.

You didn't sleep that night, getting up every hour or so to check your pad by the door, and even when Tyro finally left, you found that you were unable to relax and sleep, so you simply lay awake, staring at the ceiling until your clock told you that it was time for another day to start.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

When it was finally time for you to go back to work, you decided to take a different route to work. Even though the route would be a lot longer and would quite possibly make you late for your shift, you weren't going to risk being confronted by Tyro today, especially when you were alone.

This route makes a nice change, you thought absentmindedly, as you walked along various winding corridors. Well, as nice of a change as it could be - everything began to look the same after a while. You passed a few Stormtroopers in the corridors as you walked, and even caught a glimpse of General Hux entering a room to the left of you, probably for some important meeting.

“What are you doing here?” You whipped around, stumbling slightly as you looked to see who had spoken to you. Who else could it be? No-one else had such a distorted voice upon the ship, and sure enough, it was Kylo Ren who had addressed you.

“Sir! My apologies, I didn't see you!” You weren't wrong - he seemed to have appeared out of nowhere; you could have sworn a few moments earlier there was nothing but shadows where he was currently stood. “And I’m just on my way to work, Sir.” You hastened to answer his question.

“And yet I see that this is particular route to your job takes you almost half an hour longer than the route that most medical officers take.” He stepped closer. “You do realise that your quarters were built with the purpose of being close to the med-wing incase there is an emergency? They were not built so that officers could take the longer, less efficient way to work.”

“I-I understand, Sir.” You flushed in embarrassment. “I just-” You hesitated, not wanting to tell him about Tyro; he probably wouldn't care. “Fancied a change of scenery.” You finished rather lamely, avoiding the holes in his helmet where you knew his eyes were.

“Liar.” He replied almost instantly. You didn't think you were that bad of a liar, but you supposed that would be incredibly easy for him to slip into your mind and see the truth. "Tell the truth." His voice, so different to the one you'd heard a week ago, crackled throughout the corridor. You bit your lip nervously. You didn't want to get Tyro in trouble, no matter what he'd done: he was a valuable member of your team, and he could lose his job over this, and if Kylo found out and was in a particularly bad mood, Tyro might possibly end up injured, or worse.

"Fine. I'm trying to avoid someone at work who has been... making me feel uncomfortable in our working environment and also outside our regular shifts." You fiddled with the hem of your shirt. "So I'm taking the longer route to work, as this person will already be busy by the time l get there, and hopefully most of my other colleagues will also have arrived." There was silence for a moment, before Kylo shrugged his massive shoulders.

"Conveniently, my business for today is located relatively close to where you need to be." He turned his head so that he was looking down at you. "It is only logical for us to walk there together."

You stared in slight surprise, but refrained from protesting as you realised that it the two of you stood around talking for much longer you'd be very noticeably late for your shift. "Well, if you're already headed that way then it would be rude of me to decline such an offer." You refrained from grinning outright, (it would have damaged Kylo's reputation if someone were to see that he was capable of showing human emotion) and instead sufficed for a small smile. "Lead the way, Sir."

The two of you set off down the corridor in silence for a while, and you found that you enjoyed Kylo's company more than you thought you would - you were never one for small talk, (something that wasn't really encouraged, especially amongst people of different statuses, such as Kylo and yourself) so you enjoyed the silence while it lasted.

"Who is it?" Kylo eventually broke the silence, but didn't cease his footsteps. "The person who is causing you such distress that you have to be late for work?" It was slightly unsettling how he could ask such a caring question, and still sound like he didn't really care at all.

"I'm afraid that information is classified, Sir." You said teasingly. "And yes, their behaviour has been unprofessional, but I have to acknowledge that they are an asset to our team, and we would be noticeably affected without them." You admitted reluctantly. "And please don't go into my head to see who it is - I'd rather tell you who it is when I'm ready."

There was along pause after you spoke, and you could tell he was debating whether or not to order you to give him answer, use the Force to read your mind, or to respect your request. "Fine." He spoke eventually. You smiled in thanks, and the two of you continued on your way. “If I ordered it, would you tell me what action they have committed that has affected you this much?”

You shook your head, your smile turning rueful. “This ordeal... it’s quite personal...I don’t think I’m ready to share such details, even if you commanded it, Sir.” You could see the med-wing at the end of the hallway now, and you felt slightly sad that your conversation, no matter how strange or short, would be coming to a close. “Thank you for walking me here, Sir.” You addressed him once you both had reached the doors of the med-wing. He only nodded in acknowledgment, before turning right and continuing down another corridor. “Have a good day!” You called out, before hurriedly punching in the code to the door, and slipped inside, not wanting to be any later.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

It had been a couple of days since your walk with Kylo, and while events with Tyro had been relatively quiet, you’d still been taking the longer route to work just to feel safer. You’d actually begun to enjoy the walk - sure, you had to wake up earlier, but the longer walk allowed you to stretch your legs more and gave you more time to wake up so that you were fully aware and ready by the time you got to work.

It had been another long and tiring shift, and this time you’d made sure not to be the last one in the med-wing, as you really didn't want to repeat the events that had happened previously. You bade goodbye to Yasmyn and a few other officers that were finishing up reports, and upon realising just how tired you were, you decided that it would be far easier to take the shorter route back. You didn't even register the risks of taking that usual route until you were halfway back to your room.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” You turned to see who the voice belonged to, but just as you had fully turned around you were pushed backwards, and hit the wall hard, causing you to gasp out both in shock and pain.

“What the-” Your eyes widened in fear as Tyro loomed over you, leering at you. “Tyro, what are you doing?” You exclaimed, trying to pry his hands off you - one was pressed firmly on your shoulder, effectively pinning you against the wall, and the other braced against the wall behind you, caging you in.

“I was trying to be nice, approaching you and complimenting you in the med-bay last week, and I tried to be polite, waiting outside your room instead of banging on the door and demanding entry, but you’re still being difficult.” Tyro’s teeth were gritted in frustration. “You could at least have told me you weren't interested instead of leading me on.”

“Leading you on??” You gaped at him. “You stalked me to my room, and stood outside it for hours! I was scared for my life, you creep!” You raised your voice slightly, hoping that somebody would be able to hear you.

The air around you was filled with a loud ‘SMACK’ as Tyro slapped you, your head jerking painfully to the side, and you yelled in pain. “Bitch.” He snarled. “You talk far too much for anyone to truly tolerate you. Just because you tamed Kylo Ren, doesn't mean you’re superior to the rest of us.”

“I will always talk back if it means that people like you will leave me alone.” You glared stubbornly. “You have no right to put your hands on me!” You struggled to get free, attempting to tear his hands off you. “Mark my words, I’ll be bringing this up with the head medic-” You were cut off halfway through your sentence, as the hand that was previously braced on the wall moved to squeeze your throat hard, and you choked, hands now moving up to grasp the one at your throat.

“I said, shut. up!” Tyro’s teeth were gritted in anger, and he pressed harder on your throat. “And if you won’t, I’ll make you.” Your eyes widened in fear, and tried to kick him in protest, trying to prevent him from hurting you even more than he had, but nothing else happened.

What did happen, was that Tyro emitted a strangled cry, like he was being choked as you were. He let you go, and you slid down the wall to the floor, gasping for air, as Tyro staggered backwards, hands clutching at his own throat. You sat, staring at him in confusion and slight horror, your eyes darting up and down the hallway, trying to see what could have caused this - it was hard to try and help someone who was choking from an unseen force - but a part of you just felt relieved that he’d stopped touching you.

‘Is this the one?’ Your eyes snapped up, brows furrowed in confusion, but eventually settled on your saviour. Kylo had his arm outstretched in Tyro’s direction, and your expression cleared slightly as you realised what the source of Tyro’s discomfort was. ‘The one who’ been causing you such stress?’ Kylo’s head was turned in your direction, and even though he had his helmet on, you could feel his gaze boring into you.

‘I don't want him dead’, you thought, your heart pounding in your chest as you watched Tyro’s face grow redder and redder, and his eyes grew wide in fear and panic as Kylo drew nearer. No doubt Tyro had realised what was happening to him - there was only one person onboard the ship who would be able to do such a thing.

There was a pause, and Tyro was released. He drew in big, gulping breaths, falling to his hands and knees as he coughed, massaging his throat with one hand.

“If I had my way, I would throw you out into space immediately for your actions.” Kylo stepped forwards, reached down and gripped the front of Tyro’s shirt, and lifted him off the ground so they were eye-level. “If it wasn't for your fellow officer, you would be dead. By the lack of oxygen in space or by my direct hand - it doesn't matter. If I hear that you have been treating any other crew members in this manner, I assure you, I will personally dispose of you.” Kylo’s voice echoed down the corridor, and even the helmet he wore could not conceal the evident disgust in his tone as he spoke to Tyro. “Do I make myself clear?” Tyro nodded, seemingly petrified. With that, he dropped Tyro, who immediately staggered to his feet, and sprinted down the corridor to where his room was stationed, tripping several times along the way.

You finally stood up, feeling slightly shaky as you tried to process what the hell had just happened in the space of about ten minutes. Kylo turned to face you, raising his hands to his helmet and removing it while he did.

“Thank you.” You breathed, leaning back against the wall, gently pressing your fingers against your throat, trying to assess if Tyro had done any damage without necessary medical equipment. “I don't know how far he would have gone if you hadn't saved me.” You met his gaze.

“He could have killed you. And yet you decide to spare his life, when he is not deserving of it.” He brushed aside your thanks, his eyes stormy. “He deserved more punishment than you gave him.” You looked away.

“My whole job is making sure that people don't die - it’s my job to save them.” You whispered. “Ordering Tyro’s death would go against my whole principal, even if this is the First Order.”

Kylo stared at you, eyes calculating and unrevealing. “If not death, demotion will have to suffice.” He stated, clasping his hands behind his back, clasping his helmet in his left. You didn't dare protest - not that you wanted to; in any case, Tyro really deserved worse.

“Yes, I suppose it will.” You smiled half-heartedly, still not being able to shake the feeling of Tyro’s hand around your neck, and the fact that if Kylo had taken a few more minutes to walk by, you’d probably be dead.

“He won’t bother you any more.” Kylo’s voice filled you with a surprising sense of calm. It was quite a soothing voice when it wasn't giving out death sentences or uttering life threats. “He knows what will be done to him if he does.” You nodded, rocking back and forth on your heels.

“I should probably head back to my room.” You sighed, rubbing a hand over your face. “I need a hot shower and to go to bed. And proceed to lock my door behind me when I get to my room.”

“I will accompany you there.” His tone suggested that it would be futile to argue with him. You let out a short laugh, and shrugged, the two of you starting to walk.

“Suit yourself. I’m not the best company - I thought that I spoke enough to not be too invasive but obviously Tyro thinks I talk too much, so I’m apparently just confusing.”

“Nonsense. Nobody wants company who talks constantly - it’s annoying. He was obviously not used to being rejected, although I can’t see why he has been anything but. Force knows why he was appointed here.” Kylo dismissed your doubts instantly, never taking his eyes off your destination.

“Thanks. Again.” Your smile was noticeably brighter now - having Kylo Ren’s approval was no easy feat to gain. The two of you walked in a somewhat peaceful silence until you reached the door to your room. “This is me.” You gestured rather lamely to your door. “Really, Sir, thank you for everything. If you hadn't appeared when you did, I probably wouldn't be here right now.”

As expected, Kylo didn't give you much of a reply, except an abrupt nod of his head, and an impassive, “Think nothing of it.”. He turned on his heel, slotting his helmet back over his head. “You look terrible. I expect your day will be as busy as usual tomorrow - rest is essential to a job such as yours.”

You shook your head in amusement, unlocking your door and locking it again as soon as you slipped inside and the door had closed. A strange coincidence that he found me, you thought absentmindedly as you stood under the warm jets of water in your shower. Almost too strange, you frowned slightly as you turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around you, grabbing your pyjamas as you got ready for bed. You mulled over the idea that Kylo Ren might possibly have been following you around the base as you drifted off to sleep, following his advice to rest in preparation for another day.

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren imagines #star wars #star wars imagines #star wars the last jedi #star wars the force awakens #star wars the rise of skywalker #ben solo #ben solo x reader

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schnuuwrites · 4 years

Note

Hi! Uhm,, do you think you could do a Sylvain smut? Like his s/o is oblivious to his hints and one night he just goes for it?? Does that even make sense????

Hey, sorry it took me a while. I had three drafts in total for this one, but never stuck to one, because I didn't write it in one go. So, four is the charm, I guess.

Yea, Lil heads up. I honestly cannot imagine that any of the guys or girls would indulge in penetrative sex for the risk of having children. While it is true Sylvain is a skirt chaser and has had quite a lot women thirsty for him, I do believe he is still a virgin. He doesn't want to have offspring with shallow women after all. That doesn't exclude oral and fingering and such tho.

Since no gender was requested for the reader, I will go with female anatomy!

Summary: Sylvain and his s/o have sex for the first time after the s/o being painfully oblivious.

Warnings: smut, fingering (receiving) and oral (giving), awkward first time, cause fiction and reality are a big difference and sex's not perfect and it's OK to be awkward!

Sylvain was frustrated. Extremely so. Here he was, in the bloom of his youth, healthy and happy with a beautiful and considerate significant other, who was so blissfully oblivious it hurt.

The redhead was by no means secretive with what he wanted. He thought being in a relationship means trusting and knowing his partner as if you would yourself. At the beginning of your relationship, you have made a promise to have no secrets, that could stand between you two. And up to now you both stood by that promise.

But telling you he wanted to fuck you into oblivion? That's something even he was embarrassed of. Normally he was used to having women presenting themselves in front of him. He had had never the need to beg or ask for sex. But you? You were no one time fuck, something to have fun with at night and throwing it away in the morning. You were precious, adorable and utterly special to him. Sylvain didn't want to force you into anything you were uncomfortable with, so he had decided to let you come to him should the time come. And up until now, nothing happened. At all.

Your cuddle sessions ended with you asleep on his chest, snoring away happily and drooling on his shirt, the nights together under the stars ended with you being cold and needing to go back inside.

Every seductive actions he did were ignored. The boy was frustrated.

Maybe you had no interest in sex?

That would be news to him, but if you really were, he would accept you no matter what.

"You have that expression on again."

Sylvain blinked and looked up. You raised from your comfortable spot on his chest and sat straddled on his lap, supporting your weight on the mattress underneath him.

"What are you thinking about? If you continue frowning you will get wrinkles before you hit 30." You stated and brushed his forehead with your fingers to ease his tension. "But you would still love me even if I lost my looks at 30, right?" You pretended to ponder his question.

"Meh, I am not so sure, actually. You ARE quite handsome after all."

"And you are gorgeous. Even with that messy hair." He chuckled when you furiously patted your head to try and fix the state your hair was in. "Imagine how beautiful our children would be. Positive and positive equal positive." He teased and took joy in the way your face heated up.

"Is it not a bit early to talk about children? We are not even married after all. I wouldn't want my child to be a bastard one." "I'm teasing, love. I was just stating the obvious though. You are really pretty, my dear." He leaned up and kissed you softly on the lips. You smiled at the feeling and reciprocated, but before he could turn things heated, you pulled away and stared dreamily into his eyes.

"I love you, Sylvain. I really do. I hope you did not misunderstand me. I don't want your children because they would be yours, but I don't want your children yet. Do you understand? Children come after marriage. And we haven't even gotten past seeing each other without clothes." Sylvain felt like his heart could burst with the amount of love he felt for you. It was like a sponge, soaking up all the love you'd feed it.

"We can change that, you know." "You want to marry me?" Sylvain's eyes went wide and he shook his head 'no'. "That's not what I meant! I-" Your lover stopped talking when he saw your gloomy expression and backpedaled. "I do want to marry you, just not yet! There are a few things I have yet to settle before being able to be a good husband and-" His rambling was cut short by you pressing your finger to his lips. "Shhh, it's okay. I understand." The action of you pulling your finger away, moving down his lips was so hot to him he had to hold himself back from taking the digit into his mouth. You had no idea what effect you had on him.

Sylvain groaned and turned his face away from you. He flopped back down on the bed, his hair spread out like a blood red halo around him. He was so beautiful.

"What's the matter, love?" You questioned and cupped his jaw gently to turn his head back to face you. "You have been acting off for a while now. Have I done something to upset you?" "Yes." He responded and regretted it immediately. He and his big mouth. "No, not directly. I guess, I just expected something... I'm sorry, you are not at fault here. Just me and my ugly expectations I guess." "What were you expecting?" He truly had a talent for running his mouth, didn't he? "Nothing important" He insisted and refused to look you in the eyes. His hands found their home on your hips like it was second nature and rubbed slow circles into them, hoping to distract you from the topic at hand. But at the same time he was hoping something would happen tonight. Maybe the goddess had taken pity on him and his desires?

"Sylvain, we promised no secrets. Tell me!" You demanded. Fierce and beautiful, like the sun. Yes, in this moment you represented the sun shining bright and warm.

"I want to make love to you." He blurted out and felt his own face blush in embarrassment. He didn't dare looking in your direction and instead changed the circles he was rubbing in your hips to light squeezes.

"I thought we agreed on no children before marriage?" You questioned and looked confused as hell.

Sylvain blinked. Were you not aware?

"You do know there does not have to be baby making involved, right?"

"Is that right? Oh."

Sylvain didn't know whether to be relieved, surprised or if he should laugh at your cluelessness. Maybe a mix of all of these would be appropriate.

"But isn't the sole purpose of intercourse to produce a baby?"

When Sylvain proceeded to explain all the details to you, he watched your cute expressions while processing all the new information. So it wasn't that you had no interest in sex, but that you thought it would only be possible after marriage.

He was thankful for the opportunity to clear this miscommunication. Of course, he didn't expect for something to happen right away. Now that you had all the information you needed to build your own opinion, it shouldn't be long until he could expect something, right?

"I want to do it. I can do it."

Huh?

"HUH?" Your lover stared at you in disbelief. You couldn't possibly mean-

"You seem to be quite knowledgeable about all that stuff. And now I wanna try it."

"Isn't it best to talk this over?" What was he doing? You were motivated and ready to get into action, but he still wanted to make sure you were doing this out of your own will and not because you felt pressured to.

"You don't want to?"

No! You were concerned about all the wrong things. It wasn't that he didn't want to, hell did he do.

Sylvain circled his arms around your back and pressed you against his torso tightly, his nose brushing your neck and inhaling your scent. You smelled like home. His slender fingers combed through your tresses soothingly. You relaxed against him and closed your eyes when he pressed his lips against the sensitive skin of your neck, which elicited a breathless sigh from you. The feeling of his warm mouth against you sparked a flame in your lower belly, that threatened to swallow your whole body, but at the same time left you yearning for more. His sweet lips were so addictive. A drug you could not get enough of.

Sylvain began to sit up and hoisted you up so he could get comfortable, before sitting you back down on his lap, positioning his big hands on your thighs.

You broke away from his caresses and leaned your forehead against his. "Are you alright?" You nodded and buried your face in his neck this time. Now it was your turn to shower him with love. The first contact of your lips against the tender skin of his neck was nothing more than an experimental peck, but it was still enough to send a shiver down his back. Your heart swelled with pride at being able to make him shudder underneath you and repeated the action, this time just behind his ear. Your lips danced on his skin there for a while, before going to his ear and nibbling on it tenderly. Sylvain tilted his head. You could feel him smirking and moved down his neck down to his adam apple. The flat of your tongue came in contact with the skin there and he jumped in surprise, tightening his grip on your thighs. Gently, you sunk your teeth in there, sucking on the skin before releasing it and kissing it as an apology. This earned you a hiss from his lips. "You tease" He murmured.

"Are you complaining?" "Not at all, doll"

He looked you in the eyes and embraced your lips with his own in a hungry kiss. It felt like you were flying and the only thing keeping you grounded was the man searching for your lips like a starved man. You completely relaxed in his hold and closed your eyes again, letting Sylvain take the lead again. This man was a wonderful kisser, his lips soft yet hard and chapped at the same time, warm, moving in tandem with your own. It was heavenly.

You jumped when you felt something wet on your lips and broke away with wide eyes. You blinked owlishly at him. "What was that?"

Sylvain's face exploded in a lovely shade of pink, a color really accenting his pale skin, you noted, and he scratched his cheek awkwardly. "I'm sorry. I should have asked beforehand, shouldn't I? I've completely ruined the mood now, I am sorry." He apologized and averted your gaze. He would love nothing more than to hit himself over the head. He was so stupid!

"Did you just lick me?" "Yes, I am sorry, I-"

"Teach me."

Silence.

"Please." Did he mishear you? He was sure you said-

"Please teach me to kiss with tongue!"

Goddess, were you not embarrassed of the words coming out of your mouth? You seemed to not care and instead just look at him with an awaiting expression. Cute, like a puppy.

Sylvain leaned in again and gave you a long and emotional kiss, before twisting his hand in your hair and tugging you closer.

"I will start now. Are you positive you want this?" You nooded enthusiastically and smiled at him. You were really too cute for your own good, Sylvain thought and indulged in your request.

He started slowly, keeping things simple. Tilting your head one way to give him better access to pulling on your bottom lip with his teeth gently. "Open your mouth a bit, baby" Your breaths came in short and shallow puffs, but you followed his request and opened your mouth slightly. Sylvain wasted no time and kissed you like you were his last meal. The first touch of his wet muscle against your own had you gasping in surprise. Sylvain rubbed small circles on your cheek and you relaxed slightly. The second experimental thrust of his tongue was not that surprising anymore and you reciprocated the action, letting your tongues swirl and dance with each other. The sounds you both made were embarrassing and if it would be anyone else you'd be kissing, you would have already stopped. But something about him made you want more, want more of his kisses, of him.

Gosh, you loved this man.

When your body remembered it needed oxygen to survive, you pulled away and gasped for air. Sylvain was the same, his broad chest heaving up and down, his lips were kiss swollen and glistening and his hair was ruffled more so than usual. The spot were you had bitten him already formed an angry purple mark, that looked like it hurt.

"How was it, dove?" He asked and grasped your hand, intertwining your fingers with his. He didn't care for your clammy hands.

"That was wonderful." You shifted on his lap to start a second kiss, but the weight of your body grinding against his crotch had him moaning out loudly. Your own pussy throbbed at that sound. You hadn't even realized how aroused you were.

Sylvain stared at you with wide eyes at the sound he had just made. What was wrong with him? Why was he so sensitive?

You shifted your hips again to see if you could elict the same reaction out of him again. Your lover gritted his teeth, his hand flying to your thighs to stop you from moving.

"Love, are you sure you want to go that far? We can stop and that would be alright as well." You were touched at his words, but instead of stopping you wiggled your butt again, for good measure. "I want to. What about you?"

Were you seriously asking that? Did you not feel how hard he was?

"Of course I want, but you are matter more right now."

"I love you, Sylvain."

"I love you, too, beautiful." He grinned, leaned in and gave your nose a kiss.

The room was silent for a bit, only short kisses were exchanged, before you climbed off of him and took a seat on the mattress in front of him. Sylvain didn't know what you had in mind, so he tilted his head and supported his weight with his hands behind him.

When your hand reached for his trousers he knew exactly what you had in mind and grasped your wrist gently. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

You snorted and freed your hands, pulling down his trousers and his underwear with them in a burst of confidence. "If I didn't, I would have told you so already. But thank you for checking up on me." Sylvain nodded and retreated his hands, watching you with anticipation.

When he laid with his most private parts bare, but his upper body still clothed, he could feel his old friend embarrassment catching up with him. To busy himself he began to take off his shirt, but let out a small and breathless 'ah' when you touched the tip of his cock. So you really wanted to go down that line, he thought and pulled the shirt over his head, just in time to see you taking his dick into your mouth. To say he was surprised was an understatement. He thought you were intent to pleasure him with your hands, not with your mouth!

He couldn't help himself and bucked his hips in your wet and warm mouth in surprise. You gagged at the feeling of his cock going too far in and reeled away. Sylvain panicked and was about to call it all a day, when you pouted and went back to work. Now that he knew what to expect, he was able to hold himself down and instead watched you enjoying his dick like it was the most delicious you ever tasted.

The sounds you produced were obscene and dirty, but oh so erotic. He could tell that was your first time sucking a dick, but he was proud to be your first.

"Ouch! Babe! Careful, teeth!" He warned and your muffled 'schorry' made his dick twitch.

"You shouldn't talk with you mouth full, you kno-OH!" His teasing was interrupted when you decided to take him as deep as could again. Sylvain was not prepared and like a beginner, his orgasm hit him before he could warn you.

Your eyes widened when something warm and sticky evaded your mouth and pulled away, letting it drip out of your mouth. It tasted bitter and salty at the same time, and you grimaced at the aftertaste it left in your mouth. The bedsheat was ruined, you noted and looked up at Sylvain, who covered his face with his arms, to apologize.

He couldn't believe he blew his load so fast. He had been too excited, damnit!

"Sylvain, I am sorry. I stained the bedsheat..." You were worried about that? He sat up and put his big hands on your cheeks and squished them.

"Oh honey, there is nothing for you to apologize for. I should be the one saying sorry for coming too fast. But I enjoyed it, I really did." You grinned up at him and threw your arms around him. He plopped down with you on the bed and held you close, you still fully clothed and him just the way he came to the world.

"I want to repay the favor, if you let me, of course." He whispered in your neck and sucked lightly on the spot. You mewled at the feeling, pressing your thighs together and arching your back. "Yes, please" You whispered and helped him take off your school uniform. His skilled hands wandered down your spine and left goosebumps on their way to your your butt. He grasped it firmly and pulled you against his hips, his other hand wandering back up, to the valley between your breast, before letting it wander and squeezing one gently. It was a weird feeling, but not unpleasant and you let your lover have his fun with your soft tits. The amazement in his eyes made you smile.

"They're so soft." He rasped and circled a nipple, making you shudder. The cold air made them stand at attention and particularly sensitive, which he took full advantage of. The tip of his tongue flicked one experimentally, the rough, wet and warm muscle leaving a completely new sensation, but not an unpleasant one.

While his mouth was occupied, his hand wandered down again, passing your navel and dipping into your panties. He was surprised to feel hair, but he didn't comment on it and instead continued his journey to the spot that was most sensitive. He let one pad of his finger rub small circles around your clit, flicking it occasionally before going back to teasing all around it. You sighed at the feeling and shuddered, pressing your chest into his face and tangling your fingers in his hair.

Sylvain felt bold and decided to try and slip one finger in. The pained moan he got in response made him stop everything he was doing and looking at you. Your eyebrows were scrunched and your teeth were gritted. That was not the expression of someone who enjoyed the sensation. "K-keep going. I just. Need time to adjust." He listened to your demand and pressed his finger in deeper, the spongy walls clenching all around him. You were so tight. Sylvain wiggled his finger a little to try and make you relax a little, but the hiss he received made him pull away. You moaned at the painful movement and hid your face in his hair.

"Please stop" You whispered and he immediately pulled out. "I'm sorry. I didn't think it would be this painful." "It's okay. You have never tried it yourself, right?" The sheepish reaction you gave him was more than enough for him to know.

"Let's stop here for tonight. We don't have to rush anything." You nooded your head in agreement and got comfortable in his embrace.

There's always a first time for anything. It could only go better from now on.

#fe3h #fire emblem #fire emblem x reader #fe3h x reader #fe3h sylvain x reader #fe3h sylvain #fe sylvain x reader #sylvain x reader #fe sylvain #sylvain jose gautier #sylvain gautier #x reader #fire emblem three houses x reader #schnu answers

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toloveawarlord · 4 years

Text

Ch. 2

Characters: Elaine, Arthur x Theo, Vincent

Pairing: Elaine x Isaac (eventually)

Tagging: @plumpblueberry @lady-moonbroch

A/N: This chapter turned out nothing like the first draft XD Enjoy some Elaine spending time with her Uncle and she meets a boy!

Four days into her new job as Theo’s assistant, the mood in their home had drastically lifted. Elaine never complained and paid close attention to every task given to her, exceeding all expectations. She quoted things he’d said to her years ago and questioned smartly, craving the knowledge he had. Having her along had proved quite useful with prickly clients, smoothing over situations with a charming smile and sweet words, likely emulating Arthur.

Theo enjoyed having time with her. In recent years, they’d grown strained. The teenager wanted more freedom and broke rules in place to protect her because she believed them unnecessary. Now, at nearly eighteen in only two days, she’d fought harder. Being able to keep an eye on her put the art dealer at little more at ease.

His daughter sat across from him, glancing at him out of the corner of her vision. Elaine hadn’t taken the news that she couldn’t accompany him today well. Instead of anger, she’d pouted silently all morning.

“I take it that you aren’t happy with today’s agenda,” Arthur piped up with an amused grin not quite hidden by his cup of steaming coffee. The previous night Theo had informed him of the impending unhappy teenager.

Elaine stuffed the fork full of pancakes into her mouth, enough to make her cheeks puff out to match her frown. She’d gotten up extra early and made pancakes and extra sweet coffee, but the answer remained unchanged. Now, she wanted to drown her sorrows in syrup and butter until she got sick.

“Vincent has asked for you to help him today while I’m gone.” Theo could easily see the motive behind his brother’s sudden request. He’d promised to make her do some work instead of spoiling her the entire day.

The teenager flinched at those words. She couldn’t very well turn down her uncle, as she adored him so much. Help isn’t the word she’d choose to describe what the day would entail. He’d likely ask her to do a small task or two, nothing that required much effort. “Fine. I guess I can do that.”

Working didn’t bother her. She assisted around the house with the chores without complaint. If Comte asked, she would readily agree. It irritated her that this client wouldn’t allow her entrance to his home, prompting this sour mood. No promises of being quiet or staying outside had swayed Theo. He couldn’t risk spooking the man.

“If you find yourself in need of something to do, I can have you proofread for me.” Her grimace only made the mystery writer chuckle again. Her disdain for that job well-known. Though she enjoyed his stories, playing editor didn’t appeal to her. A tedious thing.

Theo cracked a grin, rising from the table. “You better thank Vincent for saving you from that.” One check of his watch ended the conversation. He bid his family farewell before heading into town alone.

“Are you sure you don’t want to help your Papa with his work?” Arthur teased further. He had been a tad jealous that she eagerly wanted to assist Theo over the course of the week. Ah, but he was also grateful that the two were more understanding of each other.

Elaine stacked all the empty plates to carry them to the kitchen. “I love you but no.” Her curt reply still amusing. Setting the dishes in the sink, she licked the sticky syrup off her fingers.

“Off you go then. I’ll take care of the cleanup.”

The young vampire didn’t need to be told twice. Housework didn’t appeal to her either. She did her part, pitching in when needed, but if told she didn’t have to do it... the teenager bailed as quickly as she could.

Inside the mansion, the hallways were quiet and empty. At this hour, everyone should be awake, except for Leonardo perhaps. Rapping her fist against Vincent’s door, she cast confused glances down the hallway.

“Goede morgen, Elaine,” Vincent greeted with a bright smile. He laughed softly at her confusion. Since Arthur and Theo had moved out of the mansion with her when she was only 4 years old, daily happenings didn’t reach their house as quickly as it spread through the mansion. “We’re the only ones here today.”

“I’m okay with that.” She flashed a disheartened smile, unable to shake the dark cloud hanging over her. Her normally mischievous and lively attitude disappeared. The others might have tried to make her understand. She understood perfectly fine.

That didn’t make it less saddening.

“Come here.” He’d barely open his arms and invited his niece to find comfort with him when the teenager stepped forward and accepted the warm hug. Vincent stroked his fingers through her copper hair. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but she reminded him so much of Theo when he was a child. “You know, he couldn’t stop talking about how wonderful you were on the job.”

“Really?”

It wasn’t that he hadn’t said so to her. Theo would give praise often, especially when she came up with new ideas. Telling the others about it, that was rarer.

Vincent hummed in response, a gentle smile on his lips as she peeked up at him. “I’d say he was outright bragging. I’m not surprised. You’re his daughter after all.” Placing a kiss on the top of her head, he laughed softly at her uplifted mood.

Elaine lingered a little longer before releasing him, soaking up his sunshine-like warmth. “I guess I could stop pouting about it.” Relenting her sad feelings, she sighed softly before questioning. “So, what was it you wanted my help with?”

“I finished the final painting and I thought I’d ask for your expert advice on where to put it in the gallery space. That is, if you want to.” His request was well-received with a glowing smile from his niece. Theo had mentioned that he’d given her the sole responsibility of choosing how to use the space to best showcase the art. The uncle looked forward to seeing what she’d done.

***********

The paintings on the wall were shrouded in black cloth, to hide the precious items from view until the day of the showing. Only a select few knew what was beneath, ones trusted by Theo to make this a success. Elaine had been gifted one of the only keys to venue, a testament to her importance.

“I believe I’m looking forward to this event more than any other,” Vincent commented, allowing the staff to hang the framed piece in its designated spot.

The heat in her cheeks caused the teenager to turn her gaze anywhere else. “It’s not much different from how Vader does it. I’ve been to more of these than any other event in the city.” The location changed but ever since she learned to walk, she’d been toddling around, observing, and learning how it works. Before she’d even realized, she’d begun understanding color theory and composition.

“It wasn’t too long ago that you were only a few years old and correcting patrons on the medium or style of the art. You always had this incredibly serious expression, much like Theo.”

“That was so long ago! I’m almost eighteen!”

Vincent chuckled with a loving smile. “Yes, I guess that’s right.”

The chime of the door timed perfectly with one of the staff calling to speak with Vincent. Elaine stepped away to investigate the newcomer. Violet eyes narrowed at the sight of a boy, likely no older than herself, attempting to take a peek at the portrait veiled by the black cloth. “Excuse me, but you can’t be in here.” Her tone less than polite, Elaine thrust her palms against his chest to push him away from the art piece.

“Oh, my apologies. I’ve been most curious about why there are staff entering but it’s never been open for business.” His emerald eyes filled with hidden intent that didn’t quite match the half smirk on his lips. The boy never resisted her pushing him back to the door and onto the street. “A secretive operation, I presume, miss?”

“Elaine and we don’t open for another two days.”

Her biggest fear was that he was a spy for le academia and all of her father’s hard work would go to waste if they were discovered. He didn’t fit the typical appearance of a high bred family, usually scrawny and uptight, and he wasn’t either of those things.

“I’ll have to pop in when you are open. My name is Leon Autry.” He flashed another brilliantly smug smile and winked. “Might I inquire your surname, should I have any future questions?” The reason lost on the recipient. He’d yet to ask anything relevant to the gallery.

Elaine turned on her heel to return inside. “It’s Doyle.” Even though she didn’t quite like the boy, she couldn’t risk turning away a potential buyer. Her cheeks were warm, and it wasn’t clear if it was from embarrassment or anger. The young pureblood didn’t have many friends her age, and that led to a bit of awkwardness when around humans her age.

“Ah, like the writer.”

The girl stilled, hand hovering above the door handle. Perhaps she’d heard him incorrectly.

“You might not know of him. He’s a British writer, mystery, I think.”

Or perhaps not.

“I believe it’s Arthur Conan Doyle. Any relation?” Leon asked as if he already knew the answer, like playing a game of truth or dare in order reveal a secret for confirmation.

Elaine relaxed her shoulders. Although she could hardly admit that she was indeed was the daughter of that very Arthur, albeit the vampire one, she wouldn’t allow him to glean that precious information from her. “No, but you aren’t the first to ask. But wouldn’t that be grand? Imagine being related to someone as talented as that.” Her dreamy smile fowled his for a moment.

“Imagine.” The façade of his grin had ghosted away for a split second, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

“Elaine, are you ready to head back?” A third party interrupted, much welcomed by the girl. Vincent approached the two, protectively a half step in front of his niece. The tension between the two children enough to worry him.

Her head bobbed once in response. “Yes, let’s go home.” The way Leon’s eyes followed her unsettled the girl. Elaine settled back on the seat in the carriage, mulling over the strange interaction. Was it so unusual for someone to draw a connection between her name and the human Arthur from this era?

Whatever the case, she now had a proper mystery on her hands.

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp theo #ikevamp vincent #ikemen vampire fanfiction #arthur and theo have a child #elaine odette doyle #truth in simplicity #isaac is coming soon i promise

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taylorroger-s · 5 years

Text

shooting star // ben hardy x reader

a/n hooooolyyyy shit it has been a while since I've written something. this has actually been in my drafts since june, and was originally a response to an ask following me reblogging a prompt list. to the anon that requested it, sorry about that. but hey, it’s now done and personally, I think it’s pretty good. hope y’all think so too

plus, I've been in a ben mood after the 6 underground trailer so that gave me the motivation to finish

masterlist here!

enjoy :)

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you really weren't in the mood to leave the house.

your friday nights were usually spent curled up in your bed, eyes glued to your old hunk of a computer, burning through cheesy rom-coms and seasons upon seasons of any mildly interesting show you could find.

but after a brief pep talk by your roommate, you had dragged yourself to a university party where drunkards snogged in dark corners and booze was in no short supply. you were settled comfortably in the corner of a well-worn sofa, nursing a cup full of what you assumed was vodka and lemonade.

the party itself wasn’t as bad as you expected. letting loose once in awhile always helped relieve some of the stress built up by tests and essays. prior to sitting down, you had spent a good thirty minutes dancing to a strange assortment of classic rock ballads and eclectic disco melodies. once exhausted and glistening with a thin layer of sweat. you grabbed the mystery vodka concoction and sat down.

you were just starting to relax when one of the alcohol-fueled “men” stumbled into the growing circle of people seated in the middle of the chaos, haphazardly leaning on one another.

“yoooo,” the boy slurred, “let’s do… truth or dare!” you groaned, moving to leave when your friend ashley tugged on your arm, dragging you back to her side.

“cmon… it’ll be fun” ash pleaded, throwing her arms around your neck to pull you closer. you could smell the cigarettes, weed, and crude cocktails on her breath. with a dejected sigh, you sunk back into the couch, curling up against ashley. you had never really enjoyed the game of truth or dare. ever since your junior year, when you were pressured into stealing something from the headmaster’s office and ended up with a month of detention, you had avoided it pretty successfully.

“i don’t think so.” you muttered, finishing off your drink with one last gulp. that’s when you heard an achingly familiar voice. ben jones, childhood friend turned sworn enemy somewhere in junior high.

it was difficult to piece together how the rift between the two of your formed. your friendship was so pure, so uplifting. there was no one in the world you trusted more. the beginning of the end came when you had your first serious crush. a boy in your french class named john had asked you to the movies to see the third harry potter film.

but that was the issue. ben and you had seen the first two together, read the books together. suffice to say it was a sacred tradition between the two of you. so when you broke the news to ben about your date, he wasn’t the most supportive. it escalated into a heated argument, before you angrily left his room with tears streaming down your face. later that night he called and apologized, but things were never the same after that. the last true conversation you had ended with both of you renouncing your friendship and going your separate ways. for weeks after, you would catch yourself staring at the phone, waiting for a call; or waiting for the courage to call first. but every time you felt the urge to run back to him, the final words he said would come back to haunt you.

“you abandoned me”

“how could you?”

“i hate you.”

since then, things were never the same. no more late night phone calls, no more movie marathons. when john broke your heart, you didn’t have ben to turn to. you didn’t realize how much you cared about him until that moment. but you weren't about to run back into his arms. so you stayed silent, grew up and went to university without so much as a backwards glance to your former best friend. just your luck that he ended up in the same school, even if he was in a different major. as university dragged on you walked past him in the halls less and less. but then you would see him at parties, exchanging furtive glances when you thought the other wasn’t looking. you hadn’t has a direct conversation in years. so the fact that he was at the same random party, giving you grief, made your blood run cold.

“you don’t have to be such a downer, bugs.” ben chided, taking a sip from the beer in his right hand. there was another, unopened bottle in his left. he had the audacity to call you by a nickname you hadn’t heard in years. at the age of six, the two of you had become obsessed with the looney tunes, watching old reruns from the seventies and following along as new episodes came out. you had been dubbed bugs in honor of bugs bunny by him, and you took to calling him beaky. you could remember vividly scratching the words ‘bugs and beaky forever’ into a tree not far from your primary school’s front yard. he called you bugs? well two could play at that game.

“that’s rich coming from you beaky.” you shot back, keeping your eyes trained on a generic painting hanging on the opposite wall. you could feel him shift on the other side of the couch’s arm, taking a seat no more than two feet away from you. after a moment you couldn’t resist the pull and took a quick glance at your ex-best friend, sucking in a breath as he came into view. he had ditched the justin bieber hair you remembered, letting it grow and curl around his ears. you pressed your lips together in a firm line, slowly tearing your eyes away from his chiseled jawline and striking green eyes.

“alright, everyone have a drink?” the boy who introduced the game called, holding up a cup of his own. everyone raised their own in response. you glanced down at your lap where the empty cup sat. whoops. just when you were toying with the idea of simply bailing from the party, an unopened bottle dropped into your lap, cold against the denim fabric of your jeans. you whipped your head to the side, where ben was quietly watching the plastered people arranged in the messy circle. you stared at him for a moment before he spoke.

“you’re welcome” he huffed, taking a sip from his own, identical bottle. you twisted off the cap, twiddling it between your fingers for a moment.

“thanks.” you said through gritted teeth, shutting yourself up from saying anything more with a long swig from the bottle. and so the game began. you sat there, head on ashley’s shoulder, laughing at the silly dares asked and often scandalous truths. someone would spin an empty bottle in the center of the circle, and whoever it landed on they would ask that stupid, fated question. truth or dare?

you weren’t subjected to anything too horrible. anytime you reached a question or dare that you were uncomfortable with, you would simply take a quick chug from your steadily emptying bottle and laugh. as time dragged on you had confessed the worst cocktail you ever drank, the weirdest dream you ever had, and had given someone a brief kiss on the cheek.

once your turn rolled around the third time, you reached for the bottle, spinning it with a bit of difficulty due to the beer pumping through your system. it spun in two complete circles and then just a touch more, landing square on ben. just your luck. you turned to him, locking eyes with his stunningly green ones. he really was quite gorgeous. it made your breath catch in your throat as you pushed out the question.

“truth or dare?” you breathed, raising an eyebrow in challenge. your mind filled with a number of different options and possible outcomes for his response. part of you wanted to be malicious and embarrass him for some crude form of revenge, but deep down you still cared deeply for ben and would hate to see him miserable. there truly was a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.

“truth.” ben stated, crossing his arms firmly across his chest. his nonchalance steeled your spine and you held your chin high. your judgement was admittedly impaired by alcohol, but it was too late for you to change your mind. you needed to know the truth, whether or not it was in front of an audience.

“what’s the biggest lie you’ve told?”

he took in a sharp breath, moving his steely gaze to the frayed edges on his shoelaces. no more than a few seconds had passed between your question and his response, but it felt like an eternity. you clenched your fists repeatedly in your lap, habitually cracking them as the room stayed quiet. ben sighed, lifting his eyes just a tad to watch you through his long eyelashes.

“that i hate you. that you abandoned me. that i never wanted to see you again. take your pick” he almost hissed out the words, jumping to his feet and walking out when he had finished. you sat in stunned silence with the rest of the group, slowly processing what he said. someone coughed, another sneezed. still the silence stretched on. then ashley elbowed you in the ribs.

you whirled around, mouthing the word ‘what?’ and giving her a glare. she rolled her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. you crossed your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow at her as you waited for an answer. she pointed wildly towards the door that ben had disappeared into, eyes wide as she gestured. it was very easy to read her exaggerated movements. she wanted you to talk to him. you knew you had to talk to him. but you didn’t want to. yet, after a beat, you groaned internally and headed towards the door, flipping ashley the bird as you left.

ben was a few rooms away, brooding silently as he gazed out a window. you took a seat across from him, resting your head on the chipped window frame. there was a plush bench situated against the wall, pillows tucked up against the glass. the two of you were seated on the floor, curled in similar positions, mirroring each other. the party seemed to have resumed in the other room, giggles and fits of laughter filling the air.

"so…" you began, grappling for some way to start up a conversation. you heard ben let out a heavy breath through his nose, tucking his hand under his chin. his profile was bathed in moonlight, casting a monochromatic glow on his chiseled features. his lips were turned into a distinct frown.

"so what?" you rolled your eyes. just as stubborn as he was when the two of you were kids. it summoned a memory of him nearly beating up a boy for calling you names, while you did your best to drag him away. always your defender, whether you needed it or not. another memory to make your heart ache as you sat straight across from that same, hot-headed boy.

“are we going to talk about what just happened?” you said, tone slightly terse. you suddenly wished you were back in your room, curled up in your covers, repressing memories of a happier time. a time where your only worries were what games to play and looney toons episodes to watch. a time where it was just you and ben against the world.

“suppose so.” he sounded just as tense as you, which for some reason pissed you off. he didn’t have to answer the question with something that hadn’t ever been addressed between the two of you. he could have said something inconsequential and you both could have continued on with your lives. but his admission needed to be dealt with, and it fell to you to make him explain.

“since you seem so keen to begin a conversation, i’ll start. why did you lie in the first place?” you could feel a lump rise in your throat. even after years of no contact, you still cared about him. his rejection all that time ago still stung. you deserved to know the truth.

“next question.” ben answered, voice still flat and emotionless. however, you could tell that he wasn’t unaffected by your prying. the muscles in his jaw had tightened, and you watched as he ran a hand through his hair. his gaze was drilled on something out the window, as if he was adamant not to look at your face.

“fine, smartass. why did my going on a date piss you off so much?” you were now fully focused on him, silently begging to any god that might exist for an answer that you had waited so long for.

“it wasn’t that you were going on a date,” you raised an eyebrow, doubtful of his answer, but he continued speaking, “it was that you were going to see harry potter. that was our thing. our tradition. in my adolescent boy brain, you were replacing me.” he suddenly sounded years younger, just like the boy you would play football with in the dead of night and share sweets with after school. his expression had also softened, eyes tentatively flicking back to you every couple seconds.

“you know that nothing would ever replace you. thick as thieves, mum used to say. i never would have replaced you for a middle school crush. so, why. did. you. lie?” you sounded strained, mad that he had ever for a moment thought anyone was more important to you than him. no person could fill the space he left behind.

“because i was jealous alright? jealous that you chose him over me. jealous that he got to hold your hand, take you to dances. i was jealous because i loved you, and you slipped away before i did anything to show you how much i cared.” ben snapped, tone softening as his confession went on, voice cracking near the end. he had been waiting to say those words for what felt like a lifetime. a weight was lifted of his shoulders, and, by association, yours as well. despite the somber nature of your conversation, you could feel a smile spread across your features. you were now entirely looking at each other, stupid, love-struck kids once more.

“ben, you total dork. i would have chosen you over him every time. you were who i truly cared about. but i’m not a mind reader, so when you never said anything, i assumed it was because my feelings weren’t reciprocated. therefore, i tried to move on. didn’t work by the way. nothing i did could make me stop loving you.” you reached out a hand and he gently took it, lacing your fingers with his. he too had a soft smile on his face, gaze shifting to your intertwined hands. his thumb rubbed small circles on the back of your hand, warming your skin with his touch.

“guess we're both idiots.” he looked back up, locking eyes with you. all at once, your feelings came rushing back. you could do nothing else but smile as the minutes passed by, still connected to ben through his outstretched hand. you tilted your head to look back out the large window, tracing the shapes of constellations between the stars. one flew by; a shooting star. your wish was simple: that you never had to let go of ben ever again.

“guess so.”

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yee haw kids i’m finally getting back into it (if you call finishing off a draft that’s been there since june getting back into writing but shh)

here’s to more motivation in the weeks to come!

#ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #benhardy #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy fluff #ben hardy angst #ben hardy fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #angst #idk if it can be called either but oh well #writing #please oh please reblog #help a girl out #that'd be stellar

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jovialyouthmusic · 5 years

Text

Silver Service

A Royal Romance AU fanfic sequel to Protect and Serve

Bastien and his men try to get to the bottom of the mystery of who leaked the incriminating photographs of the suitors and have a narrow escape

Word Count 3618

A/N Warnings - possible injury and/or character death. If you have any issues or worries about the ending of this chapter, please DM me.

3 An Unpleasant Surprise

While Sophia and Bastien broke their drought, the press was busy. She had assured Liam that the best thing to do was to let them have their day to react, and issue another statement when she had analysed the output and worked out what the best strategy was. It was pointless making knee jerk reactions to potentially wild and sensational headlines. It would look better staying calm and objective.

The whole Palace went on communication lockdown – although it was impossible to stop anything leaking in through social media and TV broadcasts, nothing unauthorised was allowed out and only essential staff were allowed to enter or leave, to minimise any drama at the Palace gates. All outgoing calls were restricted and monitored, and Bastien was to be notified of anything out of the ordinary. A team had been sent out to Lady Adelaide’s manor and she and Lady Madeleine had been told in no uncertain terms not to make any statements. Bastien already had means to monitor any goings on there, and a kitchen porter regularly reported to him on anything unusual. Staff domiciled outside the Palace had already signed non disclosure agreements anyway. That left assorted nobles and their staff, none of whom had any concrete information to give.

It had been self indulgent of him to spend the day with Sophia, but he was certain that Lewis would let him know if anything of note happened. All the same, in the middle of the night he woke and went down to the security suite to check in.

Lewis had left a report on his desk, and he had a coded communication from Fydelia. He read the latter first, and raised his eyebrows at the content. The kitchen porter was an undercover member of the Guard and had logged some suspicious calls, notably one shortly after Madeleine had returned home. He put that aside and read Lewis’s report on the Press reaction, and made notes before making his own assessment of the day’s media reaction. He needed to know what Sophia thought, and made his way back to their suite. They could work just as well from his private study as from the suite.

He went into the kitchenette and prepared some hot chocolate before going into the bedroom to carefully wake Sophia. She sat up sleepily

‘Do I smell hot chocolate? What time is it?’

‘It’s not dawn yet, theá mou. We need to work on our reaction to the press – come, I hope you’re well rested’ Sophia laughed

‘Bas, your ‘slow’ is a normal day for most men. How can you be so ready for work after the day we just had – not to mention you’re still recovering from surgery.’ Bastien gave her a slow smile.

‘This just needs mental energy – I may not be ready to run a marathon or go another round with you, but my mind is as sharp as it normally is. You may remember I took a full report from Lewis only a day or so after the operation.’ Sophia rose and gave him a peck on the cheek

‘You are phenomenal’ she murmured, and got out of bed, putting on the nightdress and some soft thick socks. ‘Am I dressed modestly enough not to distract you?’ she asked impishly

‘Never’ he said ‘But I am focused on the job in hand, and you will be shortly’ Picking up the mugs of hot chocolate, he lead the way to the study. For the next half hour they pored over news reports and headlines. The press had reacted well to the rebuttals over the reputation of the various suitors and issued an apology, and despite Madeleine's effort to make herself out to be blameless, the field had been levelled. The papers and TV were chastened by the King’s protestation as to the innocence of all the suitors and were cautious not to print or broadcast anything unsubstantiated.

What followed was speculation over the provision of an heir – and the retractions had set the tone for how the media treated the story. Only the most reactionary anti monarchy outlets – of which mercifully were few – had been anything less than respectful.

‘Okay’ said Sophia ‘Now what we need to do is make out another statement for the King saying that the issue of the provision of an heir has to remain confidential in order to protect all those involved. We need to find a reason to have all the suitors in one place but under protection so that the Press won’t hound them or work out that Olivia is spending extra time with him. We need to keep that going until she falls pregnant, and give her some time for the pregnancy to be viable – an early announcement would not be a good idea.’

‘That sounds good – we can work out with his Majesty how to keep everyone together. Have you any ideas so far?’

‘Some sort of tour similar to the social season, but concentrating on listening to the views of the common people in each duchy – a series of charity events for a deserving cause in each location would improve public relations, and I’m sure it’s the sort of thing Liam would be happy to support’

‘Sophia, that is an excellent idea, and I propose that we visit some of the minor duchies that didn’t field a suitor – such as Duke Rashad’s Domvallier and Lord Neville’s Commery Isles. I’ve had some interesting information as to the source of the leaking of the photographs but it needs more investigation.’ Sophia yawned

‘I have the feeling our sleep schedule is going to be rather unconventional for the next few days’ she said. ‘I’ll write Liam’s speech and you can check it over and show it to him at breakfast. If he releases it this morning it will be in the afternoon papers – and on TV and the internet immediately. After that we need to brainstorm about the charity tour’

‘It will have to be put to the Council of Nobles, but who can turn down the chance to be seen as a benevolent leader by encouraging local charities?’

Sophia got to work drafting out a speech, and Bastien went back to his office to leave a note for Lewis when he got back to work. The Council of Nobles were sent for to discuss the charity tour, and Bastien mulled over the information he had gleaned from Fydelia.

By the time Liam woke and had breakfast in his suite, Sophia had the speech ready, and he approved it. He didn’t need the Council’s approval to propose the charity tour, but organising it would need a lot of work liaising with the various duchies. Bastien moved on to the matter of the leaked photographs.

‘Some of my men are questioning the reporters who released the photos and tracking them back, but it may take time to get to the source.’ Liam nodded ‘Sir, it seems that Lady Adelaide had something to do with the leaking of the photographs. I presume she was angered by your rejection of her daughter. You of course had a full set of and you still have them, so there must have been at least one more set, or they were copied before you received them. I’m currently trying to discover who had access to the photographs apart from Constantine. I’m afraid Regina is our most likely suspect – the fact that she is related to Adelaide and Madeleine makes that even more likely that she was complicit, so I need your permission to question her.’ Liam frowned.

‘I’d like to question her myself’ he said ‘Informally of course’

‘With respect Sir, I feel that although you may be sensitive and sympathetic toward the Queen Mother, you may not be objective. You are welcome to be present when she’s questioned, of course. Sophia suggested you make your statement as soon as you can get members of the press assembled, then we can turn our attentions to Regina’ The King agreed and his aide Geoffrey made a call to admit a selection of reporters in to the Palace.

Bastien went back to the security suite to talk to Lewis, who was drinking black coffee.

‘So, let’s go over what we know already.’ Lewis said as Bastien took his place at the desk ‘Initially it’s thought that Constantine had only one set of photographs, which were kept in his safe. Only Constantine had the code to the safe, but he may have secreted some sort of reminder or clue to that code somewhere. We believe they were the only set because they were put in an envelope for Liam to open on his death. Regina knew about those photographs and may well have known or guessed the code to the safe without Constantine’s knowledge. We don’t know if they were digital or on film with negatives. We’re still looking into who took the photographs and whether they kept copies even though Constantine stipulated he was to have sole ownership of the images.’ Lewis sighed and sat back and Bastien spoke next.

‘So we need to know who had copies of them, how they got them and who released them to the press. I know for certain that Lady Adelaide had a part in it – she made a phone call to an unknown person who had access to them and gave them over to the press. That may have been Regina, or it may have been someone else.’ Lewis raised his eyebrows at Bastien’s revelation.

‘So it could be Regina and Adelaide aiding Madeleine’s bid to be Queen, or they may just be helping someone with other motives. I’ve sent for Lady Adelaide, and we��ll be questioning both her and Regina. I have a team investigating the press – there must be some sort of trail that will help us discover how the sole set of photographs was copied.’ There was a knock on the door and James entered

‘Sir, Regina is refusing to come to the interrogation suite. She insists that she wants to be interviewed in her quarters’ Bastien frowned.

‘I’m not allowing that – we have total control in our room. James, go to Liam and get him to order Regina to do as we request. Remind him that if she complied in getting the photographs copied or released she could be guilty of treason against him.’ James nodded and left. Bastien sighed. If Regina was going to be difficult, it would be a long day.

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After Liam’s statement about the Charity tour and Regina’s interrogation Bastien returned to his suite. He had been awake for a long time and had had a snatched sandwich for lunch, and needed to rest. His thigh ached and he found it painful making his way back. Regina had denied tampering with the photographs – she said she hadn’t reproduced them or handled them at all and didn’t have access to the safe. One of the guards had been tasked with sifting through security footage in Constantine’s suite covering the safe where the photographs had been kept. Adelaide would be arriving later, and he needed to regroup before he talked to her.

Sophia was there to greet him. Immediately she saw he was hurting, and offered to draw a bath for him to ease his thigh. He sat in an easy chair and she massaged it for him, trying to hide her concern. He looked tired and she thought he was being thrown back into the thick of Palace intrigue before he was strong enough for it. The massage and bath worked well, and he sat in his reclining chair again, this time to take a power nap. He knew from past experience if he lay flat in bed he would sleep too soundly and be groggy when he woke up. He only needed a half hour nap and he’d be re-energised.

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Later on, he waited in the interrogation room for Adelaide. She looked a little pale, but tossed her head flirtatiously when she saw him.

‘Why Mr Lykel, if I’d known it was you wanting to talk to me we could have gone somewhere more – private’ she said, reaching across the table toward him. He sat back, showing her that flirting was not going to work.

‘I would rather have done this privately, but for the serious nature of the matter in hand, Lady Adelaide’ he said gravely ‘I have reason to believe that you set in motion a process that was intended to make Lady Madeleine the only credible choice of suitor for King Liam.’ Adelaide pouted

‘What’s wrong with a mother trying to make the most of her daughter’s assets? She’s plainly the best choice for Queen and I’m certain Maddy would allow Liam to have a Cordonian marriage and have his choice of lovers’ she retorted

‘It is most definitely wrong when false accusations are made against other women – accusations that harm their reputation and cause them distress’ Adelaide shrugged and didn’t say anything. ‘You don’t deny making a call that resulted in the release of scurrilous photographs to the Press?’ She sighed

‘It would have blown over once Maddy was Queen. We’re not living in Victorian times, a few saucy headlines won’t permanently ruin their marriage prospects’

‘Nonetheless, the photographs involved were known to be in the possession of the former King, and anyone gaining access to them is a security risk and possibly liaising with those who wish to do harm to the monarchy. We’re looking at possible charges of treason’ Adelaide grew pale.

‘I – I didn’t think it was that serious’ she stuttered.

‘In that case you won’t mind telling me who you contacted so we can find out who got hold of the photographs’ Adelaide wrung her hands together

‘Well the problem is – I’m not really sure’ she pleaded. Bastien clenched his jaw and waited for her to explain. ‘It’s – delicate’ she said, leaning closer and lowering her voice.

‘This interview is being recorded, Lady Adelaide’ he replied ‘Please speak clearly’ She shook her head.

‘No, I’m not having this recorded’ she said ‘I’ll tell you in confidence, Mr Lykel, but I won’t have my private life exposed. Please’ She gazed at him pleadingly. He sighed heavily

‘Will you at least tell me in front of my second in command?’ he asked. She nodded, her face pale. He made a gesture and Lewis turned off the recorder.

‘Very well Adelaide, and this had better be the truth, or you will be charged with treason’ he warned her. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

‘Well, I have a lover – he’s – well he’s dominant. I – I’ve never seen his face, he always wears a mask, and I don’t know his name.’ Bastien remained stony faced, inwardly rolling his eyes. Her sexual escapades were her weakness and had gotten her in to trouble on more than one occasion. She went on, biting her lip ‘He’s said things to me before – about what a good Queen Maddy would make, and that he could make sure that it happened. Maddy came home the other night and told me Liam had called everything off. I was so upset – I called him and told him all about it’ Her eyes reddened and she dabbed at them with a tissue. ‘I didn’t know about the photographs, I had no idea how he was going to make things happen. I’m sorry the others were hurt, truly I am’ Bastien nodded

‘I believe you, but you must give us details of how you contacted your ah, lover.’ he said sternly ‘Do you think you could identify him if you heard his voice – is he Cordonian, do you think, or does he have an accent?’

‘Oh he’s Cordonian, and yes, I think I could identify him by his voice. But please, I do need to be discreet. Gordon may overlook my indiscretions – after all lord knows he has his own – but I don’t want it splashed all over the…’ her voice trailed off as she realised what she had set in motion for the other suitors.

Bastien nodded to Lewis to turn the recording equipment on again

‘Thankyou Lady Adelaide, for the record you’re going to supply us with the contact details we’ve asked for. Your cooperation is appreciated.’

------

Later, after Adelaide had left to go and settle into the suite she would be sharing with Madeleine, Bastien spoke to Lewis. In truth, the phone number she had given them wouldn’t tell them much. They had secured a promise from her that she would notify them the next time she was due to call him – she called at regular intervals – and they would monitor and try to trace the call’s location. They checked in with James, who was checking security footage for anyone who might have tampered with the safe. He looked weary and his eyes were red from sleeplessness, but he had stuck to his task with stoicism.

‘I think I have something’ he said ‘One of the maids made a habit of moving a large vase in front of one of the security cameras when she cleaned Constantine’s study, but she fell foul of one of the other hidden cameras. I can’t directly see exactly what she was doing, but she was in the vicinity of the safe for a suspiciously long period of time on more than one occasion. I just need to double check the time stamps and the duty rosters for the cleaning teams – but I think we have our culprit’

‘Good man’ Bastien said, leaning on the desk to watch the footage James had picked out ‘Who is it?’

‘I’m not entirely sure, but I think it’s a young maid called Lisa’ he said ‘Shall I call her in for questioning? I don’t know if she’s on site but it won’t take long to find out.’

‘We need to verify her identity first’ Bastien chided ‘Cross check with the work schedules. I have an idea Drake is friendly with her, and Sophia also, I’ll call them to ID her.’

It was discovered that indeed it was Lisa who had been seen on the security cameras. Checking other footage, she was seen to take an envelope identical to the one left for Liam out of her bag to check it when leaving the Palace. The next day she had spent another suspicious length of time in Constantine’s study while cleaning it. It was not quite enough to be certain proof, but Bastien had a strong case against her. She wasn’t in the Palace so he asked housekeeping to call her in for an extra shift, saying there were unexpected visitors and she was needed to clean some of the empty suites – which was true, as that afternoon it was expected that the Council of nobles would approve Liam’s plan for the Charity tour and all the suitors would be called on to gather to plan the itinerary and travel together.

------

Sure enough, the young woman turned up on time, and she was watched every step of the way. As she approached the store cupboard to pick up fresh linen, Bastien strolled along the corridor as if by accident.

‘Good afternoon – Lisa, isn’t it?’ he asked her pleasantly as she clutched the list of supplies she needed. ‘Could you step into my office please?’ She looked puzzled.

‘I’m very busy Mr Lykel – can it wait until the end of my shift?’ she asked. He shook his head and stepped forward to take her elbow

‘I’m afraid not, I need to ask you some questions’ A look of panic crossed her face and she tried to pull away from him. He gripped her firmly, and one of his men, Parker, appeared from round the corner to block her should she try to run away.

In the interrogation suite, Lisa dissolved into tears. She had been coerced into breaking into the safe after stumbling across the code in a piece of paper that fell out of a book when she was cleaning. Bastien pressed her as to who had asked her to get the photos, but she clamped her mouth shut and said she was afraid that she’d be killed for telling.

‘Lisa, we will protect you if you tell us who it is’ Bastien assured her ‘This is a serious matter – you could be prosecuted for treason and either serve time in prison, or be exiled permanently. We can be lenient if you help us’ Lisa looked terrified.

‘I – I can’t tell you who it was’ she sniffled ‘I never saw him. He’s a member of the Sons of the Earth. I have a phone number, that’s all’

‘But Lisa, why did you do it?’ he asked ‘When you were interviewed you swore you’d serve the Crown – and you also signed a non disclosure agreement. You’re in a lot of trouble, my dear’

‘I – I’m sorry, here have my phone, the number’s there, under ‘Boris’ She held it out, but Bastien sat with his arms crossed.

‘Write it down for me’ he said

‘But – if you call him from another number he’ll know it’s not me’ she protested

‘I wouldn’t worry about that, Lisa’ he said flatly ‘We have our ways’ She took her phone back and Bastien started to reach for paper and pen, but as he did, Bastien spotted something that made his blood run cold – a button inset in the side, something that didn’t belong on that model of phone. He shouted out a warning to Parker to get down as he threw himself onto the floor under the metal table. Lisa pressed the button and a loud explosion rocked the tiny room…

Next chapter 4 Two’s Company, Three’s more fun

#protect and serve #silver service #bastien lykel #trr bastien #sophia x bastien #OC x Bastien #the royal romance au #royal romance fanfic

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ren-c-leyn · 4 years

Text

Yet another fusion story! Finally working up the motivation to clear out my drafts by actually writing some more tumblr short stories. XD This one was done using this prompt by @scrawl-your-heart-out, these 1,2,3,4,5 by the amazing @thependragonwritersguild, this prompt by @oopsprompts, this prompt by @unpromptly, these 1,2,3,4,5,6 prompts by the lovely @givethispromptatry, and last, but most certainly not least, this prompt by @scandy-inspo.

It mentions a few deaths in passing, but there’s no gore or real detail associated with it.

I stared up at the tops of the dull grey walls, listening to the flags flapping with crisp snaps in the chilled autumn air.

I didn’t want to be here. Why did I have to be here? Oh, that’s right, I remember....

“I have a letter for you,” he had said with a strained smile.

“Who’s it from?”

“You know who it’s from.”

“Throw it away,” I had said, burying my nose back into the journal.

“It’s not an option this time,” he had told me plainly.

I looked back at him.

“Any why not?”

“The royal messenger brought it personally, they know you’re here.”

My blood had felt just as frozen in that comfy little fire-warmed cabin as it did here in this moment.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“I mean, not really?”

“Please be kidding me?” I had replied, my voice sounding so terribly pitiful, particularly for a former noble.

“Doesn’t work like that. Sorry.”

He truly did look apologetic as he handed me the letter, but not half as much as he did beside me right now. We both winced at the large gates creaked and moaned as they opened.

Part of me wondered why I hadn’t listened to him when he offered to smuggle me out of the kingdom. Stubborn pride? Hope for the truth to come to light? Something else? I didn’t know. I just know that it was too late to run now.

“I fully expect to have lost all respect I have for myself by the end of this. Let’s go.”

That was what I had told my dearest friend this morning, and now I had something even harder to tell him. I leaned closer to him, practically breathing into his ear.

“Listen,” I whispered. “I just want you to realize that if this doesn’t work I will die and you will be left to deal with the fall out. Can you do that?”

He leaned a little closer to me as we watched the doors open to what would quite likely be my doom.

“I have to, don’t I?”

Honestly, I wished he didn’t. I wished neither of us did. But the time for regrets was well behind us now.

We were marched through the familiar grounds of the palace before we had been separated. I was left in a grand waiting room while he was ushered deeper through the maze of halls. They could have at least let him stay....

My shoes made a clicking rhythm as I paced across the marble floor. I found that the sound did something to calm the storm in my head. I had to do something. I had to think of a plan.

I had to calm down. Panicking wasn’t going to help... neither was thinking about the grim implications and possibilities. I just... I just needed to figure out what to do, what to say. But the deciding moment came far too quickly. The guards were herding me down the terribly familiar halls to the doors I recognized just a little too much.

They swung them open and gestured for me to enter. I didn’t even realize it when I took the first step forward, or the next. My mind couldn’t comprehend that I was moving at all until it registered the shocked gasps of voices I knew.

The table had fallen to a hush as I made my way into the room. I silently sat in the last free chair and pointedly ignored the horrified stares directed at me.

“I thank you for the invitation, my Lord. I do apologize for my lateness.”

The king stared back at me from the opposite side of the table, his eyes as clear and calm as they ever were.

“I’m grateful that you’re here,” he spoke, his voice resonating through the small chamber.

“I’m… already regretting this,” I mumbled to myself, trying desperately not to look down at my hands or the table.

Lord Knightridge slammed his hands down on the table to my left, glaring accusingly at me.

“What are you doing here?”

“Someone has to take the blame, right? Well sign me up.”

The words shocked everyone, me most of all. I let out a heavy sigh, forcing my back to straighten and my shoulders to level. My eyes met the king’s and held his heavy gaze.

“I am done running. Done hiding. If you wish to execute me after this, so be it, but I would at least like the chance to speak before you do so, My Lord.”

Silence filled the chamber before he gave a curt nod.

“That is why you were summoned. I wish to know the truth, the full truth, as to what became of my brother and those around him. As you are the only known survivor, I have spent quite some time having you tracked. However, before you start your tale, there are formalities to be observed.”

I gave a nod.

“I understand.”

“I object!” Lord Knightride cut in again. “You shouldn’t trust them!”

“I don’t have a choice,” the king replied. “They were the only witness.”

“That is my point, your majesty,” he pressed, “there must be a reason they are the last one standing when many finer warriors were slaughtered, butchered like animals. They likely had something to do with it and may be here as a part of a ploy to deceive us.”

“Do I have any reason to lie?” I asked Lord Knightride calmly.

“Do you have any reason to tell the truth?” he replied, voice nearly snarling.

“Lies have made more slaves than chains ever could, and I have no intentions of being bound by another person’s deceptions. Use magic to determine the truth of my tale, of that is what you must, but I assure you I will speak no falsehoods, and I would never be sorry for what I did that day. Not even if it ends in my execution.”

Lord Knightridge stared me down for a moment before leaning back in his seat, either intimidated or satisfied with my show of nerve. The knight, however, decided to end any further arguments by calling for magics, as I had suggested.

He had the mages bring in the knife, and they went into the long-winded lecture as to it’s history and use and so forth. Honestly, they could have saved us all about fifteen minutes of nerve-wracking, mind-numbing boredom if they would have just walked it out on it’s velvet pillow and simply said: This knife only holds its edge in the presence of a lie. Done. But no, the formalities had to be observed.

“Do you understand?” the head mage asked me once the explanations were over.

Part of me was tempted to ask him to repeat it all again so I could put off this conversation a little longer, but the rest of me really didn’t want to hear the speech ever again.

“Yes, I understand.”

“Then you may begin,” the king cut in, impatience creeping into the fringe of his voice.

I cleared my throat as I searched for where to begin.

“Shards of darkness flashed midair, half-way through the strategy meeting on how to finish beating back the orcs. At first... I thought it was the storm but then they just... they burst. They shattered and embedded themselves into everyone in the room. Had I not grabbed someone else and drug them under the table, we surely would have been just as doomed as the rest.”

The king was almost absently running the knife over a length of thick rope, testing the truth of my story thus far.

“So there was another survivor?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

He paused, looking up from the unharmed rope to me.

“And why not?”

“The orcs came, sir. It was a planned attack, I think. But I don’t know of an orcs that could have used magic like that.”

“A traitor, then?”

I nodded.

“I believe so, sir....”

He tested the knife again.

“Do you have a theory as to whom?”

“None.”

Another swipe of the knife.

“How did you escape?”

“My companion, the one that entered the castle with me and who sheltered me all this time. He found me on my flight from the orcs and was able to help me escape.”

“I see.... So it was not you.”

“No.”

“Then why did you hide?”

“I... I couldn’t return,” I said, shaking my head, “not knowing that I had failed so miserably. I could not gather the identity of the traitor, or even ascertain if there was one, As it was, I was terrified that one day my dear friend would tell me: “My one regret was saving your life.” ... What could I tell you? What could I say to my people? That I lived through cowardice alone? That I could not even save myself little alone one of their heroes?” I shook my head. “No. No, I couldn’t bring myself to face this shame before, My Lord, and I’ll beg you to hand my lands and title to another better suited to it, for this time away from the court has opened my eyes to many things.”

Another test of the knife was the only noise in the silent chamber.

He drew in a deep breath, then released it.

“Is there anything more you wish to say?”

“No. There is nothing more I know about the attack, nor wish to say.”

With the final swipe of the knife, I was released, both from the castle and from the weight of my former title. I was allowed to return to the comfortable, fire-warmed cabin with my friend, whom had turned down five different job offers for the royal court himself.

“I can’t believe they couldn’t even tempt you into becoming a spy master,” I mused.

He laughed.

“Considering they already figured most of what you told them ahead of time, I doubt they need to replace their current one.”

And I chuckled, glad to have it all behind me, once and for all.

#short story #long short story #fiction #fantasy #my writing #angst #original story #a story by Ren #writeblr

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