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starsandhughes · 6 months

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Penalty Box Series— Trevor Zegras Edition (Six)

23-24 Season Masterlist

previous: five

next: seven

OCTOBER 28, 2023

these have been short lately i’m so sorry

yourusername

liked by trevorzegras, leocarlssoon, and 15,688 others

yourusername welcome back to my postgame penalty box update show: MY BABY DADDY SCORED HIS FIRST GOAL OF THE SEASON EDITION!

tonight, my duckies won 7-4 against the flyers! coincidentally, the only time the ducks scored 7 goals last season was also in a 7-4 win where trevor scored and stromer assisted on it! isn't that fun? yay stats! that's my mans and my hero!

you'll notice that i put 0.5 as the penalty count, and that's because z sat for a too many men bench penalty, which don't count towards his personal minutes, but he was still in the box!

and our son! he's taking after his father with his second penalty of the season! i’m so proud of you, leo! i love you! we love criminals in the zegras-hughes family <3

i’m so proud of you guys! you're 3-0 on the roadie so far, with one more game to go! this is your season, boys! i love you!

my love, i’m so incredibly happy for you, and beyond proud! here's to the first of many! (i chugged my drink when he scored to celebrate btw so if you're currently drinking— chug! chug! chug! chug!) i love you, always, sweet boy🧡

p.s. FRANKY TANKY! MY BOY! CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR SECOND HATTY! YOU AND AUSTON PAPI MATTHEWS ARE NOW THE ONLY TWO IN THE NHL WITH TWO HATTIES! IT'S YOUR YEAR, BESTIE! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! I LOVE YOU! MWAH!

p.s.s. coachy cro, never stop sending z in as the default criminal! it brings me immense joy!

tagged trevorzegras and leocarlssoon

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trevorzegras i love that you love stats, my precious little weirdo! i wouldn't know my accomplishments without you telling me them🧡 i love you, forever

yourusername y/n "sissy" soon to be zegras-hughes: professional event planner, professional nerd, professional fiancé supporter

trevorzegras damn right

lhughes_06 JUST fiancé supporter?

jackhughes sissy, your brothers exit

colecaufield sissy, your friends exist

yourusername @/lhughes_06 @/jackhughes @.colecaufield i’m an amateur supporter of the rest of you <3

jamie.drysdale you two are bad influences on your son

yourusername YOU TAKE THAT BACK, DRYSDALE! HE CAME THIS WAY AND WE LOVE HIM!

trevorzegras we're trying our best!

leocarlssoon i take offense to this

yourusername SEE! YOU BROKE THE BABY! YOU BUMBLE FUCK BITCH!

jamie.drysdale @/yourusername okay okay i’m sorry! you're doing great! you'll be a great mom to your twins! i didn't mean it!

jackhughes @/yourusername does this mean i’m your favorite ex husband?

yourusername @/jackhughes no <3

user59 when sissy says chug, you chug!

frank_vatrano thanks, y/n/n! i love you, too! your new hat trick medals are definitely a plus

yourusername ya girl has a big brain!!

frank_vatrano she does😂

maxjones98 @/yourusername how much stuff for goodie bags and awards do you actually have on hand right now?

yourusername @/maxjones98 a lot! i have so much faith in my duckies! and my other boys!

trevorzegras @/maxjones89 her craft room has a bookshelf full of the stuff she includes with drawers labeled individually for all of us

frank_vatrano @/trevorzegras doesn't she also give bags to canucks, devils, and habs when we play them?

trevorzegras @/frank_vatrano it's a huge bookshelf

jamie.drysdale @/trevorzegras don't forget the stack of boxes to mail first goal trophies and personal record awards

trevorzegras @/frank_vatrano what he said

maxjones98 @/trevorzegras your girl is so amazingly sweet it's insane

yourusername @/maxjones98 JONESEY! YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY!

user40 the ducks?? on a win streak?? somebody made a deal with a god

_quinnhughes i think z should be at -1

yourusername 2 minute penalty for being a rude head. go sit in your bathtub.

trevorzegras you heard my baby mama! go!

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras @/yourusername STOP WITH THE BABY DADDY AND MAMA

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes NO

yourusername MAKE ME

_quinnhughes oh dear god

user6 sissy and z are gonna make quinn go grey at 24😭

leocarlssoon i love you too mom😂

yourusername you're swimming so well!! you're such a good duckling!!!

leocarlssoon i try

yourusername you're succeeding!

user61 z pulled a quinn after he scored fr

colecaufield @/trevorzegras THAT'S MY MAN!

trevorzegras PLAY INSANE IN THE BRAIN!

yourusername his goal song might be by vanilla ice, but my mans is not vanilla

colecaufield @/yourusername why? just why?

jackhughes MY EYES

lhughes_06 AHHHH

trevorzegras @/yourusername ;)

_quinnhughes @/yourusername MINORS! THERE COULD BE MINORS READING THIS!

jamie.drysdale this is why i moved

yourusername @/jamie.drysdale stfu no it's not

colecaufield @/jamie.drysdale you were a tough soldier

user75 sissy gives no fucks about a digital footprint oh my god

_alexturcotte our boy is giving the rockettes a run for their money

yourusername his true dream is to be a vegas show girl

_alexturcotte shame he had to settle for hockey

yourusername truly

trevorzegras @/yourusername you're my new dream

yourusername @/trevorzegras that's sweet but we were teasing you and you ruined it

_alextucotte @/trevorzegras MOMENT RUINER

trevorzegras i can't win

jackhughes @/trevorzegras about time! that's my boy!

trevorzegras got these flashing lights on me🚨

yourusername that... i think made sense... i might have cracked the hockey boy code with this one!

jackhughes @/yourusername big brain

trevorzegras @/yourusername that's my girl!

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adventure-showdown · 6 months

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What is your favourite Doctor Who story?

ROUND 2 MASTERPOST

synopses and propaganda under the cut

Anachrophobia

Synopsis

Imagine a war. A war that has lasted centuries, a war which has transformed an entire planet into a desolate No Man's Land. A war where time itself is being used as a weapon.

You can create zones of decelerated time and bring the enemy troops to a standstill. You can create storms of accelerated time and reduce the opposition to dust in a matter of seconds.

But now the war has reached a stalemate. Neither the Plutocrats nor the Defaulters have made any gains for over a hundred years.

The Doctor, Fitz and Anji arrive at Isolation Station Forty, a military research establishment on the verge of a breakthrough. A breakthrough which will change the entire course of the war.

They have found a way to send soldiers back in time. But time travel is a primitive, unpredictable and dangerous business. And not without its own sinister side effects...

Propaganda

YOU THINK MIDNIGHT IS SCARY? YOU THINK MIDNIGHT IS HORROR? TRY READING ANACHROPHOBIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! imagine. there is a war that has been raging for centuries between two groups - the plutocrats and the defaulters (YEAH THIS IS ALSO A COMMENTARY ON THE FUTILITY OF CAPITALISM AND WAR ECONOMICS!) - and both sides have developed time technology that allows them to either Speed Time Up (which can age someone to dust in the span of a few seconds) or Slow Time Down (trapping someone in a single second for millennia). the doctor and his friends are trapped in a military base that is studying time travel. they send a pod into the past, but when it comes back it brings Something With It. something that makes people Lose Their Whole Past and relive moments again and again. and also turns their faces into clocks. read this fuckkng book (@eightdoctor )

ANACHROPHOBIA ANACHROPHOBIA ANACHROPHOBIA ITS SO GOOD ITS SO GOOD YOU DONT UNDERSTAND YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. IT DEALS WITH THE TIME JUST AFTER (TWO BOOKS AFTER) THE DOCTOR HAD HIS SECOND HEART REMOVED AND IT DOES IT SO WELL. ‘‘LIKE A MAN WHO HAS LOST AN ARM STILL BEING ABLE TO SENSE MOVEMENTS IN HIS FINGERS. LIKE A MAN WHO STILL SOMETIMES FEELS THE BEAT OF A SECOND HEART’’ ARATFTFY ITS SO GOOD IT CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY. THE LAST TWO BOOKS (MAD DOGS AND ENGLISHMEN + HOPE) DIDNT MENTION MUCH ABOUT THE EFFECTS OF LOSING AN ENTIRE FUCKING HEART BUT ANACHROPHOBIA IS ALL ABOUT IT. THE DOCTOR IS SICK, WEAKER THAN USUAL, FITZ AND ANJI ARE CONCERNED, SO CONCERNED THEY’RE WONDERING IF HE CAN LIVE WITH ONLY ONE HEART. THEY GET OXYGEN CANNISTERS AND A MASK OUT FOR HIM JUST IN CASE!!!!! AND OH THE BODY HORROR OH THE BODY HORROR. IT'S GOOD ITS SO GOOD. AND SABBATH IS IN IT AND HES DISGUISED AS A GUY (ISN'T REVEALED UNTIL THE END) AND HE PRETENDS TO PANIC WHEN HE REALISES HIS COWORKERS ARE DEAD AND IT MAKES ME FEEL SICK SO SICK WHEN I REALISED HIS EMOTION WAS FAKE. ITS GOOD ITS SO GOOD ITS SO FUCKING GOOD (nix)

Alien Bodies

Synopsis

On an island in the East Indies, in a lost city buried deep in the heart of the rainforest, agents of the most formidable powers in the galaxy are gathering. They have been invited there to bid for what could turn out to be the deadliest weapon ever created.

When the Doctor and Sam arrive in the city, the Time Lord soon realises they've walked into the middle of the strangest auction in history — and what's on sale to the highest bidder is something more horrifying than even the Doctor could have imagined, something that could change his life forever.

And just when it seems things can't get any worse, the Doctor finds out who else is on the guest list.

Propaganda

Doctor ends up at an auction for his own dead body (anonymous)

One of the most notable Eighth Doctor books, the first by Lawrence Miles and the beginning of Faction Paradox. Generally very good. (anonymous)

Banger of a story where 8 goes to an auction in order to purchase 3's dead body. Then the weird shit starts happening. (@eighthdoctor )

#round 2

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ashen-crest · 1 year

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seeking thoughts on a type of character behavior

Starting with a behavioral question to see if this is Relatable (TM):

Have you ever found yourself refraining from telling the truth or hiding information because you’re afraid of what the other person will think, even though you know that delaying the inevitable will only make it worse?

Maybe you’re afraid they’ll be mad, or will think less/differently of you. And you know that you can’t hide the truth from them forever, but you still immediately default to simple lies like “I’m fine” or “everything’s fine” or “I definitely am not planning on being possessed by a spirit during a concert you’re going to attend.”

Real talk, irl I know someone who does this all the time (not the plant part, the other part). Has for his whole life. It’s like clockwork. “Hey it’s nice that you’re confiding in me about this, but you should tell X about this, too.” “Yeah, I will.” (doesn’t do it, X gets mad months later when they find out). Every single time.

Now, if I have a character do this, here’s my fear of what the reader will say:

That’s so dumb. Why didn’t he just communicate? Why didn’t he just tell them? This is just manufacturing conflict because he didn’t tell the truth. Doesn’t he know that they’ll be made if he doesn’t tell them?

And just like irl, the answer is: yes!! he does know!! of course he knows, but this is a deep brain pattern and he’s fighting an instinctual fear of shame linked to his low self-worth!! and his arc is to work through that and confide in people again!! It’s psychological internal conflict! Man vs self, babey!

So, I guess my question is: if you were a reader, would you find this sort of behavior/arc annoying, dumb, or angsty? Or would you relate to this character’s behavior?

Book-specific context below the cut if you’re curious, but it does contain spoilers for both book 2 and book 3:

Yes, this is about Emry Karic, because of course this is about Emry Karic.

I’m trying to solidify his character arc, and am currently targeting: not confiding in loved ones -> confiding in loved ones.

Why doesn’t he confide in loved ones in the first place? Well, last time he was really honest with his family about his future, they kinda kicked him out, and last time he confessed all this to Cal, she left him. That all happened pre-book 1. By the end of book 1, he’s reunited with his family and Cal, all of whom apologize for pushing him away and reassure him that they love him.

(I’m actually doing a whole short story on the family’s apology.)

However, Emry’s issues of self-worth aren’t magically gone by the end of book 1, and it’s not like he’s going to be great at telling people things they might not like to hear.

A couple instances of this through the book:

1- Oops, Aspen accidentally possessed me for a brief second while they were trying to generate a rainstorm, and as a result, they summoned a really effective rainstorm. Best not tell Cal about this- it’s not like it’s gonna happen again, and it would only make her upset.

2- Welp, turns out that me being possessed by Aspen can actually make our troupe’s music sound really cool and we can do neat tricks! But Cal and my sisters will be at the concert. They’re gonna hate it. I should tell them before the concert...but I can’t bring myself to do it.

3- Andddd turns out that I now have plant powers from being possessed by a forest spirit repeatedly. I have no idea how my loved ones will react to this, so I straight up do not wanna tell them. However, I have grown as a person (lol plant pun) and so I am going to tell them!! And guess what, they’re supportive and they love me and my worst fears didn’t come true!!

A couple fears I have:

like I mentioned earlier, would a reader be like “oh he’s just dumb”?

is it too close to his family arc in book 1, where he goes from actively avoiding his family until he can Achieve the Thing, to seeing his family despite Not Achieving the Thing, and finding that they love him and just wanted him back for years?

If I remove this arc, don’t want his self-esteem or trust issues to be erased, because he also runs into imposter syndrome/ “am I enough without aspen?” in book 3, and by the end of book 3, he finally comes to the conclusion of “yes, I am actually enough.”

So sorry this post got so long! I’m tagging a few people who know my bard boy and who might be able to assist: @sleepyowlwrites @akindofmagictoo @writeblrfantasy @zmwrites @chayscribbles

#writeblr #writblr #emry karic #if you don't think this sort of char behavior or arc would work i gotta know before i edit the book!!

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yatgb · 2 months

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Agent 8 crumbs PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASSPLSASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

Okay well i GUESSSS i can ramble about agent 8 🙄 if i mustt

He/She Eight forever and always ^-^ people (including herself) default to she/her but she doesnt mind! Either prns are fine any time. Also doesnt label her sexuality he's just balling

Aside from all the sanitized kamabo bullshit i think hitting her head after the fight with agent 3 actually did give her some Lasting Brain Damage, and she has problems with forgetting things. Her and Agent 4's apartment is PLASTERED with sticky note reminders, even for stuff like "close the fridge" "turn off the stove" because she WILL forget to do that part

Agent 4 made her a little cookbook that step-by-step tells her how to make her favorite foods with those menial reminders to turn stuff on and off and close doors

AND she and Agent 4 have made what they call Eight's Brain Board, whoch is a crime board style corkboard that lays out all her memories and how they relate to each other just in case she forgets again. Proudly on display in their room

Likes wood-and-metalworking just to make little trinkets, most of the time Octivus or Squidmas gifts. The definition of Hobby On The Side that keeps her hands sharp. The first one she made on the surface was a little Salmonid keychain she gifted to Agent 4 ^-^

Still writes poetry too. She doesnt mean for it to be 8-8-8 syllables they literally just. Happen like that. She'll write a poem about literally anything. she wrote one about Agent 4's freckles

I know Donny is the shopkeeper in-game but Eight is the actual store manager for the Ammo Knights in Inkopolis Square. Sheldon hired her before he moved to Splatsville and she proved to be a VERY good employee so he let her take over the store

She and Sheldon often have friendly races between who can take apart and put a weapon back together the quickest. Eight's record is less than 2 minutes for a Hydra Splatling

Eight takes her job SUPER seriously and absolutely Will Not Budge on anything like prices or weapon availability. No "i left my ID at home" or "i'm basically level 10 cant i just have that one" she does NOT care. Rules are rules and by jove she will not only follow but she WILL enforce them

^ that being said she also HATES Grizzco. She doesnt like their shady vibe and has heard many horror stories about the actual work from Agent 4 (who works there to pay off his student loans) and she really really REALLY despises how they illegally modify weapons for golden rotations. Every time she finds a modified weapon she instantly confiscates and dismantles it. It's like a spit in the face to her entire career and she will not stand for it

Very good with teenagers! Mostly bc thats the majority of who comes into the shop. She loves hearing about their battle tales and has been jotting down little plotlines that unfold in her store (like a kid trying a new weapon to impress their crush, or someone climbing up the ranks in Clam Blitz, that type thing)

She has a reputation for being super nice to everyone but really its because she just has a really long fuse. It takes a LOT to get her mad

Charger main! She's amazing with any charger you put in front of her and she's an absolute MENACE in an inkbattle. Her favorites change but "you can never go wrong with a good and standard Splat Charger"

Her favorite battle mode is Tower Control!

She also Is crushing on Cap3 but she will literally never make a move. Partly bc they live across the ocean in splatsville now but also It's Agent 3. The Legendary Agent 3. Theyre Too Cool For Me (Agent 4 has been trying to wingman them together ever since they started hanging out. the pining is mutual theyre both just flustered. Hes suffering)

Idol relationships!!!!!!! Since she is genuinely good friends with Agent 3 she's frienda by proxy with the squid sisters. They dont really have a lot in common and dont hang out much but she and Marie like being menaces in inkbattles together because theyre both cracked with a Charger and love causing problems. Imagine 2 E-Liters on the Brinewater ledge. Hell. She finds it easy to chat with Callie and they'll talk about literally anything. Callie just has that effect on people i think

She sees Pearl and Marina as cousins, partly bc Pearl started calling her Cousin as a nickname but they really are like family. She lived with them for a solid month learning the language and etiquitte before they couldnt put off their Idol Jobs any longer, which is when she started living with Agent 4. They check in with each other every day and fuckig. LOVE EACH OTHER. She always gets front row tickets to their shows

Has only met Deep Cut very very briefly while being a roadie for OTH's world tour. They indimidate her but she'll take Marina's word that Big Man is chill at least. She's also heard good things about their heroism in Alterna from Cap3 so at the moment theyre vaguely Okay in her book

Also besties with Acht ^-^ initially bonding over Side Order bullshit but she finds their practical blunt nature to be really refreshing and calming. They mostly parallel-play when they hang out together. Like cats. She really likes their new music (can't listen to any Kamabo songs without feeling Bad after :( trauma and all. Acht respects this)

Shelly and Donny absolutely LOVE HER. She always entertains their kiddie ramblings and helps them out if they need a hand at their store, and theyre always welcome to work at her store if theirs is slow and they want something to do. She teaches them more about the weapons in a hands-on way so they have more to tell the customers rather than just parroting Sheldon

Speaking of, she's also great friends with Sheldon! Technically he's her boss but hes a very chill boss and she's been invited to family gatglherings outside of work and such. A good friend to the Shellendorf family!

"Hey eight how are you so cheerful all the time you have a very busy job and lots of friends to keep up with! Whats your secret!" Shes literally just in love with life. Thats it. After dealing with so much shit underground and nearly losing everything in Kamabo she has a huge appreciation for life itself. She relishes in the good and accepts the bad because at least she has a choice to experience it all. That being said can trauma responses go away she doesnt quite like those

(Hiiii :3 watch out here comes the extremely thought out backstory i made under the cut)

The reason shes so good with Chargers is actually because she was training under a Special Forces unit in the Octarian Army

She was known in her class for being super smart and quick on her feet but she just CANT build up any muscle mass, and the wasabi supply unit were already thinking of allowing Certain Octolings to use Chargers and Splatlings without being Octocommanders or Octosnipers, so they decided to guinea pig her with a Charger along with a smattering of other similar Octolings

She became like. SUPER good at using Chargers and a lot of her peers would call her The Next Marina because she surprised everyone with how cracked she was at like everything they threw at her. She never liked this comprison due to wanting to just Be Herself

She was also known for being extremely caring and empathetic, which landed her in hot water for speaking out against the way she and her fellow colleagues were treated as faceless soldiers, and wondered if plotting against the Inklings was even worth it st this point. She famously got in MASSIVE trouble for insinuating that they let The Great Zapfish go and was in Detention/Jail for like a While and nearly lost all her progress climbing up the ranks

Alsooooooo :3 in my personal canon she was part of the squad to escort Callie into Octo Canyon. It was her first time ever on the surface and once she got a taste for the real sun she needed more of it

(I know Octo Expansion is likely happening the same time as Splat2 Hero Mode but it makes sense for my canon for it to happen After)

Also she's 18 st the start of Octo Expansion just to tie back into the whole 8 thing they had going on

The whole hypnoshade thing was also thrust on Callie as a surprise and like. It's not fun to be Surprise Brainwashed so of course she fought back before the hypnoshades took effect. Eight still has a scar on her shoulder from where Callie dug her nails in. That experience was also the final nail in the "i gotta get out of here" coffin

Even though she had made up her mind to run away to the surface, it still really hurt to leave her life behind. She had real friends and even something romantic going on with someone special, as well as having actual good standings in the army with a bright future ahead of her, but the surface was more worth it in her eyes. being able to have her own life instead of one she was forced into was so appealing. Her friends think she's selfish and definitely resent her now (even though theyre fuzzed and barely remember her in turn)

Oh and also her name used to be Maia Idachi :3 but since she doesnt know her old name she can't find her file in Cap'n Cuttlefish's dossier. She doesn't want to go by facial recognition in case she mistakes her fime for someone else's and remembers something that never happened to her yknow (got Maia from amai, the japanese word to describe something sweet to tie into her being caring and empathetic, and Idachi from Idako which is the word for a species of Octopus)

#hi im actively ignoring work to finish this LMFAO #IVE BEEN TYPING IT ON AMD OFF MY ENTIRE SHIFT..... I FUCKING LOVE THIS OCTUPS #splatoon #agent 8 #splatoon headcanons #long post #lkterally cannot shut up abt her i need to write her morw [explodes the room w my telekenesis]#THANJ YOU FOR ENABLING ME TYSM #i was trying to find a name to call u and i almost called u acid. thays ur name now /JOKE

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liaromancewriter · 1 year

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The Start of Forever

Premise: The Prince always knew his duty would require sacrifice, but no one told his heart that.

Book: The Royal Romance Pairing: Liam x MC (Phoebe Summers) Rating/Category: General. Angsty Fluff. Words: 810

A/N: Some of you know, Liam is my favorite Choices LI [I changed the default name to Aiden]. I don't typically write for TRR, but the @kingliamappreciationweek inspired me to write this fic. This is for Day 5. Enjoy! I'm using @choicesflashfics week 29, prompt 2 (in bold) and @creativepromptsforwriting prompt 362. Tagging for reblog to @creativepromptfills. Also submitting to @aprilchallenge prompt "wish"

Prince Aiden Rys had not grown up believing love was a possibility in his future. He might have wished for it -- in the darkest part of the night when his thoughts were too loud for him to sleep — and secretly hoped he could fall in love with the woman he would marry.

But believe? No. That required more than he had to give. And he had already given up so much. And yet. For a few hours last night, he fell in love and believed in the possibility of forever.

Aiden glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table, ubiquitous to hotel rooms everywhere, and locked his hands behind his head on the pillow. He should get up and get dressed. But he did none of those things. Wanting to prolong these fleeting moments of freedom for as long as he could.

Bastien would knock on his door in a couple of hours, reverential but unyielding, as he shepherded Aiden to the airport. The bodyguard’s presence would mark the end of this interlude and the beginning of the next: Cordonia’s social season and selecting his future queen.

But the Masquerade Ball was still hours away, and Aiden was not ready for reality to intrude just yet.

Earlier tonight, he arrived at the address Maxwell had texted him. Aiden hadn’t known what to expect from what appeared to be a dive bar. But knowing his exuberant friend, he’d had trepidations. At the same time, he hoped Drake would keep the younger Beaumont brother in check.

Okay, somewhat in check, Aiden laughed silently. Very few people in this world had the power to control Maxwell.

All his reservations went out the door the moment he saw her. The ugly uniform couldn’t detract from the beauty of her heart-shaped face and soulful blue eyes framed by long black hair, the front of which was arranged in a complicated braid.

One could argue there were more beautiful and sophisticated women at Court. But at that moment, Aiden was hard-pressed to name a single one of them, let alone remember what they looked like.

All he could think was, finally. There you are. Quickly followed by not her, not now.

He couldn’t fall in love just when he had accepted what he must do for the good of his kingdom. The people of Cordonia deserved a monarch who placed duty, the honor of sacrifice and love for one’s country ahead of everything else.

Aiden hoped he would one day be worthy of Cordonia’s storied legacy.

But tonight, just for a few hours more, he wasn’t a king or a prince. He was just Aiden. A man that craved freedom even as he embraced his responsibilities.

During dinner, he’d tried to hide his feelings, but his eyes followed Phoebe every chance they got. He hoped he’d been surreptitious in his admiration, but he’d never been in love.

Drake had given him a look that told Aiden he wasn’t being his usual stoic self. After that, he’d turned his attention to the deluxe burgers, listening absently to Maxwell’s tall tales and ignoring Tariq’s snide remarks about the food and the establishment.

Later, Aiden walked up to Phoebe, apologized for his friends’ boorish behaviors and racked his brain for an excuse to stay in her orbit a while longer.

Luckily he remembered Maxwell’s earlier comment about wanting to try a New York City nightclub, and things progressed from there. The flashing lights held no appeal for him, but sharing a drink with Phoebe and telling her his secret had felt freeing.

The whole night had been a lesson in spontaneity, from Phoebe arranging a private boat tour of the Statue of Liberty to that unexpected kiss just as the cloud cover broke and the stars sparkled above them like so much fairy dust.

They only realized they were holding hands the entire time, the moment they had to let go as the boat docked at the pier. They disembarked, turning to face each other, the Manhattan skyline rising behind them, both uncertain about what came next. But knowing instinctively this was it. There was no next.

That’s all they were now. A memory. A faded picture. A failed potential. Two people, right for each other, who’d met at the wrong time.

If only, thought Aiden, shoving the covers aside, swinging his legs off the bed and forcing himself to let go.

He might be a prince, but he’d always known his life was not a fairy tale.

When the knock came on his door, as he’d known it would, he glanced at the man in the mirror one last time. One who’d been free to kiss the woman he loved on a starry night under the watchful eye of the ultimate symbol of freedom.

And he said goodbye to what could never be.

-------------

@choicesficwriterscreations @lizzybeth1986 @sazanes

#the royal romance #choices trr #trr fanfic #choices fanfics #choices fanfiction #klaw day 5 #kingliamappreciationweek #choices fic writers creations #cfwc fics of the week #liam rys #liam rys x mc #short story #writers on tumblr

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k-angelomg · 2 months

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main is @knucklestheechidna7777777

SEND REQUESTS IN ASKS I AM DYING I AM DYING I AM BLEEDING OUT BLOOD IS COMING OUT OF MY BODY PLEASW PELARPEELAPRLEPSLSEP

🎀what the fuckkkk is up hi. welcome 2. kagnel b blog. i draw kangel Lots (and ame chan if u care)

🎀blog runner's name is Sigi! he/him coolest guy ever

🎀i take requests!!!!!!! in fact. Very encouraged to send. Request. Please. helpw do not know how to make intro post

🎀i won't be uploading full artwork i make of this game if u wanna see that go to my main @knucklestheechidna7777777 (warning i suck and don't post art allll the time)

OK very improtnat Trust 🌸 v

🎀requests open always and forever. Unless they aren't.

🎀i do NOT take nsfw requests!!!!!!!! i'm a kid

🎀you can request like. drawing her in a specific art style from an anime or something too if u want just like anything!!!!!!! i'll do my best to replicate. default style will be used otherwise

🎀reposting and stuff is cool and like so is credit

🎀i am in school so likeeeeee if i take 1000 years to do urs myyyy bad

🎀if ur one of those terf retards or a pro shipper i'd rather. Not interact with u just saying. anon asks are only on for requests

🎀if ur request is like wayyyyyyy too complicated might ignore sorryyyy

ok bye

DONT SPRAY PERFUME INTO A TOWEL AND SNIFF IT REALLY HARD!!!! GIVES YOU BRAIN DAMAGE I THINK

#intro post #h

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howlingdemon13 · 3 months

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I'd like to ask some questions from the Character Ask Game! ✨

Specifically numbers 1, 2, and 12 for Beetlejuice!

I hope these answers aren't too in depth, but I have ✨ thoughts ✨! I'm gonna try to keep this Musicaljuice specific because he's my favorite. 1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

There are a bajillion factors at play as to why I adore this weird little goober man. I always really end up loving the monster/supernatural entity/villain in most media I consume, so Beetlejuice perfectly fits that niche in my brain (occult brain go brrr). Like, yes, I love the demon by default. Of all of his iterations, Musical!Beetlejuice is my favorite. He's kind of a shithead, but he's entertaining. I want to see him succeed as much as I want to see him fail if that makes sense (also depends on if I'm watching the movie vs the cartoon vs the musical). Full disclosure, I never watched Beetlejuice 1988 until October of last year. The only reason I did was because I thought I should watch it/get context before watching the Brightman bootleg of the mucial I found. And uhhhhhhh I didn't really like it, which is weird for me (but I do enjoy it more now). All that's to say that the musical version of the character was more sympathetic and more fleshed out in a way that makes me both feel so so bad for him (mommy issues solidarity) while also wanting to punt him across a room (that might also be the cute-aggression though). My pathetic little meow meow. He does also give me the tiniest bit of Genie vibes? Love me the magical comic relief trope. Stellar. 10/10. No notes. Did I mention that he makes me laugh? It's the immature humor for me. It's the kind of low-brow goofiness that I grew up with (thanks, dad, ow I'm immature). This applies to all iterations, but mostly Musicaljuice and Toonjuice (the puns! I live and breathe puns!)

2. Favorite canon thing about this character? Mood ring hair. Even though he's not human, Beetlejuice just feels feelings so intensly as a demon that his emotions can literally change a part of his physical appearance. Whoever thought of this is a genius. I love this trope across media because there's something that's really appealing to me about a character giving in to their emotions in that way. Like, as much as Beetlejuice is a manipulative jerk, he can't really hide how he's feeling and that's a fun juxtaposition that has a lot of potential (forever crying that the mood ring hair is not utilized in the tour version). That, and I do love what people have done with this concept in fanfics/fan art.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I have so many! But one that doesn't leave my brain is that Beej is a big fan of swing music (and by extension swing dancing). I was going to make a mega post about this (and maybe I will eventually), but there are a few instances in the musical that contribute to this. Honestly though, it's really the energy and melodies associated with the genre that I naturally associate with Beetlejuice. As much as Beej has a rock-inspired motif going on with a lot of his songs in the musical, I like to think that a demon that old would have a hard time moving on from a genre like jazz and thus swing.

#sorry this is long and rambly!#but i could gush about the ghost demon for days without stopping to breathe #ask answered

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astranauticus · 6 months

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ok one last post about the Project to truly exorcise it from my brain. just some process/design thoughts (also now that it's done if you want to read my liveblogged whinging for whatever reason here it is)

first off some stats because i kept stats like the nerd that i am:

time wise making this animatic took about 93.5 hours give or take (thanks procreate process replay) spread across exactly 2 months

anyway when i said i finished this project mostly through stubbornness and sunk cost fallacy this is what i meant lol like a lot of my thought process through this was just 'no way in hell am i letting some of these drawings disappear into my drafts forever'

on average each frame took about 2 hours 45 minutes but thats a bit of an overestimate since i forgot to count some of the animated bits from the first two lines (so id guess the actual number is more like.. 2 hours 20 minutes?)

btw that line with the starry apparition fading away? 12 hours total

the single longest and most painful frame to draw was the one of the crew walking through tu'narath (5 hours 30 minutes) because a. perspective b. architecture design c. for some reason i put a lot of detail into rendering the armour on all the githyanki i drew why on earth did i do that

(its especially painful bc that frame was one of the ones that didnt... feel like an important enough moment in the actual story of the show to be worth capturing the way the wish or even like, endellion is, i just needed to put that there for the storytelling flow or whatever of the animatic itself and it bothered me so much)

one other interesting little mishap was that i did all of these on canvas size 1080x720px (so that's why the youtube resolution isnt particularly high lmao) which is why procreate let me put an absolutely absurd amount of layers in one canvas (all 8 frames of with memories projected on the astral sea were done on one canvas. 159 layers) because the layer limit for that canvas size is 400 BUT. i accidentally started the starry apparition fade on an A4 canvas (my default canvas size for like all my normal fanart) and i only realised after finishing all the lineart and starting on colouring because i hit layer limit so i had to resize the canvas which did... interesting?? things to the lineart resolution

also if youre wondering how i drew K-LB that many times in something resembling timely fashion the answer is i sacrificed some... amount of sleep to 3d model and rig him in blender which. honestly? i consider it a roaring success

splitting the frames by bar was a Choice and certainly a choice ive.. had doubtsTM about but thats the kind of thing you cant really change without bringing the whole project crashing down so if the frames seem to move a bit too fast im so sorry there was really not much i could do there

idk if people actually noticed the very very tiny drawings of the crew moving around on the ship in the 4th line especially since they sometimes get obscured by the subtitles but the REASON for that is in my original drawings the subtitles went in the top left corner but they kept conflicting with other stuff so i just gave up and threw them to the bottom (also i originally included the chinese lyrics but then i got lazy lmao)

anyway that little detail like VR-LA angstily looking at the sea reminiscing about the JourneyTM and the crew sort of appearing along with the memories of their adventures together was one of those things that seemed SO COOL in my head but once i actually execute it its like. hmmmm not sure if that worked out the way you thought it would buddy. also the tiny crew was EXTREMELY hard to draw so put that down as another point in 'me subjecting myself to deeply painful and out there compositions for no good reason'

anyway i called this my magnum opus but i do actually have some thoughts about another one (a companion piece, if you will) for another song by the same band because now that i know what capcut can do im.. really itching to try something a little different because this like powerpoint presentation style? fully a product of me using iMovie as my only available video editing software for the past like 7 years of my life

#rwd #asto speaks #re: the projectTM #one last time using this dumbass tag lmao #honestly? also put another point in 'i worked on a project for so long it became just a Project to me and proceeded to get #absolutely blindsided by the emotional affect it has on people'#2 months. 2. months.#whatever actual emotion this idea was originally trying to draw from is long fucking gone buddy #like i did manage to re-experience some of it looking at the finished product but #i appreciate yalls screaming a lot i just truly did not anticipate it LMAO

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unexpectedstormy · 1 year

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https://at.tumblr.com/unexpectedtraveler/ive-always-been-conflicted-when-writing-fics-or/66x4zruc0l7z

I do think Link (wild) died at some point. (It is called the Shrine of Resurrection, after all)

It would explain why it took so long as well. (Also extra angst)

Did Link die or not? Did his heart stop beating? Did his brain stop making brain waves? I dunno for sure. BotW Canon never says and I doubt we’ll ever find out the what the Nintendo Zelda Team intended when they came up with the game lore (if they even knew themselves). In the long run, whether or not Link died doesn’t really matter because the result was the same. Link enters the shrine broken and dying and he exits the Shrine 100 years later with a healthy body and a blank mind in a new world. (I’ll come back to this in a minute.)

Ok, ok, ok, you got me excited. You bring up a very good point of something that’s always bothered me but no one else talks about. Why did it take exactly 100 years for Link to wake up?

Even with Link’s mortal injuries, it would have taken at least a couple months, but probably up to a couple of years to completely heal Link. How long’s a couple? I dunno. 2? 3? 5? But surely not more than 10. So why didn’t Link wake up once he was all better? Why did it wait 100 years?

I’ve figured a couple of possibilities.

The Shrine has an internal timer set at 100 years either by default or by design. Maybe that’s what it defaulted to once the Shrine was made operational by Zelda, Purah, and co. (it doesn’t sound like any of them knew it would take 100 years for Link to awaken). Or maybe that’s what the ancient Sheikah set it to 10,000 years ago as part of their master plan to destroy the Calamity the next time it awoke.

The Shrine was waiting for an external signal to awaken Link, such as the Guardian Towers around Hyrule castle sensed Zelda’s weakening power and Ganon’s growing strength and sent the signal to awaken the Hero. Or maybe the Shrine would have held Link in stasis forever and Zelda had to use her Goddess powers from afar to force the Shrine to release Link. Or maybe the corporeal ghost of King Rhoam somehow intentionally triggered the Shrine to start its awakening process.

The Shrine was waiting for certain conditions of the world to be met, like X% of Guardians to decay, monster population to rise to a certain level, Hylian population to rise back to X number of people, Hylian civilization to return to a certain level of advancement, etc. Although, I don’t know how the Shrine would sense these things since the Sheikah towers and shrines weren’t activated yet. *Magic*

The Shrine was waiting for Link to choose to wake up. This is the least likely in my opinion but most angsty idea. Maybe once Link was healed, the Shrine was waiting for him to attempt to wake up on his own, but maybe Link didn’t want to for whatever reason (guilt, shame, sadness, fear etc.). The Shrine gave him time, hoping he’d come to term with his regrets, but it didn’t happen, and the Shrine predicted that he never would by his own accord and opted to erase his mind and reset him, to manually and physically remove the mental barrier he had to waking up. I could definitely see this process taking a long time since the Shrine would have had to cherry pick what things, what neural pathways in his brain to leave or to take away.

So did Link die? Did he not die? Why was he asleep for 100 years? The answer is simple:

What do you think?

But that’s the beauty of storytelling. It’s two-way, the storyteller tells you the main parts of the story, but you get to fill in the gaps. Whatever you think the answer is, that is the correct answer. That is canon. And I think it’s really so beautiful that there are so many different versions of canon for the same story. It’s so cool to me to see all these different interpretations and everybody is right. It really makes this story so rich and it leaves so much opportunity for exploration in the fandom.

#tldr: did Link die? Why sleep for 100 years? You decide #on a side note #the Shrine of Resurrection is only called the Shrine of Resurrection in English #In Japanese it's called the Shrine of Regeneration #And in other languages it is called other things like the Shrine of Life #breath of the wild #linked universe

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illegiblewords · 10 months

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Some post-FFXVI analysis.

I figure there were themes throughout about how a parent is supposed to love their child and want to see them grow, and then exploring questions of power imbalance not only between parents/creators and their children/creations but also the world itself (non-bearers) vs the few with great and terrible potential (bearers and dominants). I think the theme has echoes in Otto and his son, Dion with his father as well as Anabella, Edda being protected by her child and Gav stepping into a familial role despite not having any obligation, Charon doing similar with Goetz, the Waloed orphanage director and his daughter/bearers where he utterly betrayed those children, OG Cid and both Bearers as well as Mid (adopted), abandonment of Benedikta by Cid, and even Mid’s choice not to make the airship because she doesn’t trust the potential and power it holds. Plus like (in case I need to explicitly say it) Ultima vs humanity and Anabella vs Clive, Joshua, and Olivier. It’s basically caretakers and the choice to nurture potential or not, and different characters make different choices because there isn’t a single answer to how those kinds of relationships unfold. I get that.

The spots I want to zoom in closer are these questions though.

1) What the fuck is even happening with Barnabas thematically/symbolically with the Oedipus complex?

He’s technically fucking both Ultima (parent to humanity) and his own mother (how Ultima presents to him) with his goal to sacrifice the will of not only himself but humanity overall in Ultima’s name. Ultima is the Jungian devouring mother who doesn’t seek to see her children grow but to use them, live through them, and keep them forever stunted. This is also Jungian Tiamat, who devours her own children (dragon’s mouth = yonic)--basically Barnabas is on the one hand artificially kept a child when he should have been an adult, entirely in thrall to his mother who seeks to destroy him to her own ends. On the other hand, he is willingly surrendering himself and humanity this way so the horror comes from doing such a thing with full, adult agency. It’s a similar perversion--he has taken Ultima’s side and chosen to engage in Ultima’s goal (not treating child/creation like a child/creation) and, despite being possessed of his own will and thus an adult, engages in Ultima’s inappropriate mission willingly. He becomes an active participant at Ultima’s side victimizing humanity and himself. There might be further nuance to it but the situation feels like trying to twist my brain into a pretzel. 2) What is going on with Anabella and Ultima!Olivier?

Anabella is analogous to Ultima in her entire mindset, and I guess she sort of... she doesn’t personally love any of her children, but she loves what Joshua and Olivier represent to her in ambition and tools. Olivier has been basically dead the whole time and Anabella didn’t even notice, because she doesn’t care about his will or him as a person. Olivier being Ultima like... is it kind of like saying her own child is dead because of how she views/treats her children as extensions of herself, and she effectively is parenting an analogue of herself instead in Ultima? The reason she commits suicide isn’t just the destruction of Olivier as a tool for herself--it’s because she also has to see him as the horrific, destructive reflection of herself, and that self is an abomination. She refused the role of a true parent while simultaneously holding nothing else of value within. She cannot be the monster of Ultima but nor can she comprehend or invest in her children, and now she can’t even pretend that she does. I don’t think it’s remorse for her, but sort of realizing she is something monstrous. She dies a monster, never acknowledging her children as people--but she might be aware of herself refusing to acknowledge them. This might have other angles to it too.

3) With as much feminine symbolism and iconography as Ultima has, why make his default form male here? It’s not just in-game feminine motifs (Ultima even refers to himself relative to the role of mother rather than father), but Ultima’s history within the franchise with femininity. See Final Fantasy Tactics in particular, all sorts of Final Fantasy XIV stuff, possibly Ultimecia though there’s some translation funkiness there. Regardless, that was an active creative choice there and I think it has to do with symbolic meaning. I don’t think it’s for secret shitty implications or anything like that. It could be that the developers wanted to indicate it’s not a woman-exclusive propensity but a parental one, and since Anabella especially helped drive home the devouring mother Ultima was used to broaden the lens? I think there’s more to it, and I don’t particularly figure Ultima has a fixed gender or even one as humans conceive at all--but he presents masculine when that didn’t have to be the case.

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emeraldhazeart · 1 year

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Thank you for the tag @friendofbats!

Sorry it's taken me so long - I really struggled to find 4 ships 😅

The Rules: Tag (9) people you want to know better and/or catch up with, then answer the following:

Four Ships

In no particular order

1. The Titanic (1912)

2. The Millennium Falcon (Star Wars)

3. The Ever Given (Suez Canal March 2021)

4. The USS Enterprise NCC-1701 (Star Trek)

...

OK, OK, not that kind of ship. Gotcha.

For real though, this was kinda hard because I'm not a big shipper. I tend to just go along with the default canon ships. Don't get me wrong, I like a lot of ships, but I had to really wrack my brain to find four I love.

1. Female Shepherd x Garrus Vakarian (Mass Effect trilogy)

I was not expecting to feel so strongly about this ship, but after recently replaying the ME trilogy and romancing Garrus this time, I was blown away by the chemistry between him and FemShep. The voice actors do a phenomenal job anyway, but they really brought their 'A' game to this relationship. It made the ending all the more bittersweet for me, knowing how ME3 closes out...I just want these 2 to be together forever, dangit!

NB: I know the player chooses Shepherd's appearance and how they respond to certain situations, but I still see Shepherd as a defined character, rather than an OC/self insert.

2. Nina x Galen (Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life)

Does it still count as a "ship" if they've already been married for decades when we meet them? Eh, I'm counting it.

When I think of OTPs, I think of characters I can't imagine with anyone else. That defines Nina/Galen for me. They clearly mean the world to each other.

3. Fox x Vixen (Animals of Farthing Wood)

I've spoken before about how the AoFW cartoon was my childhood. Well, these 2 were my OG ship. I can't think of Two characters more meant to be together.

Even the narrative (in the books, at least) calls out how unusual their bond is, with the two choosing, unlike other foxes, to stay together long after their cubs are grown up. I love the way they respect and admire each other, how there's never even any question of anyone else for either of them, and how, even when times are tough, they never turn their frustrations on each other.

4. Robin x Starfire (Teen Titans 2003)

I've always enjoyed 'Friends to Lovers' stories - Which makes a lot of sense since I realised I'm demisexual 😅 My favourites are the stories where they've been friends for a long time, before something shifts and they finally realise they see each other as more than friends.

I think that's part of the reason I resonate so much with this ship.

Last Song: Eyes Closed by Ed Sheeran

Currently Reading: Shadow by Michael Morpurgo

Last Movie: um... I really can't remember what my last movie was. It's been that long since I consciously sat down to watch a film

Craving: it's a cliché, but: milk chocolate. 😅🍫

No pressure tags: @sneakyfox55 @lizzie-tempest @hannahcbrown @acustardduckling @harvestpokerune @devaneiosblues and anyone else who'd like to have a go 🙂

#Tag game #4 ships tag #Shipping #Mass effect #Harvest moon #the animals of farthing wood #Teen titans #Emerald's facets

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celiastjamesoscar · 4 months

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January 5th, yess!! Starting off the new year with a wonderful tattoo!! I'm so excited for you, I can't wait! Speaking of tattoos; I secured myself the tattoo voucher! With the shop's Christmas special and money I stole, I saved 350 bucks! This means that for a day session/2 half day sessions I paid muuuch less than it usually costs 😁

There is no better funny business than watching my all time favorite show and getting tattoos with a pretty girl. So that funny business is perfect 😉

O.M.G BUTTERS LOOKS SO ADORABLE!! His eyes are screaming for help but he looks like such an adorable gentleman 💗

🤭 Jon did NOT!!! I gasped out loud, this is fucking hilarious 😂 Jon is my man, I love how sassy he is. This is amazing, I can't stop laughing. Sorry Grace but Jon is simply the best! And I take back what I said about your fashion sense, it is wonderful! Your taste in shirts is EVERYTHING!!

I had another weird dream. I was trapped in some warehouse and had to escape Saw like traps in order to get out. All while being chased by 3 killers... I don't know what my brain is trying to tell me with these murder dreams. Melatonin dreams are the best, ngl.

Grace what are you doing on tiktok?? https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeNCfvJS/

I’m so excited for my new tattoo!! I know it’s in a couple of weeks, but it feels like forever. “Money I stole,” miss ma’am 🤨 saving $350 is wild, but props to you for it!!

Speaking of your favorite show, I’m about 20ish minutes into the first episode, and you did not tell me Keke Palmer was in it!! I love her so much. And the funny business will be perfect because I said so 😊

His eyes are always screaming for help, that’s just his default look 😭

Jon is actually evil and I will never forgive him. He has zero filter and I’m starting to miss his random outbursts, but I will have him again next semester! You better like my fashion taste, I am known for my horrid shirts

Melatonin dreams are single handedly the most scariest yet the most entertaining dreams ever. But having a dream about Saw traps sounds horrible, I’m so sorry your mind did that to you

That is actual footage of me studying too 😭

#bender chats #clexa is forever ♾️

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makin-cute-simmays · 7 months

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about me - simblr edition

(I got tagged!!) Hold on while I go be awkward & dramatic for a moment off stage!!

I was tagged by @simmysunset to do this, so here are my Mods enabled answers!

your 3 traits: music lover, makeup lover, moonchild

your aspiration: Occult Purveyor of Potions or Location. It goes back & forth if I'm honest

in-game world you'd live in: Granite Falls

favorite townie(s): The Goth babies. I will forever Stan Cass & Alex.

most used pack(s): grunge revival, city living, get famous, fitness & laundry day.

favorite decor object (no cc): The modular bookcases. Reading is FUNDAMENTAL!

something you want in the game: In CAS - I want a search bar. Let me search for the creator I want in the category I'm already in. Did I click on face paint? Let me search Northern Siberia Winds! You clearly can it *looks at build mode with envy*

I want the ability to backfill a WORKING family tree. How can I be immersive if there is no one there? (Maybe it's Maybelline, maybe it's my undiagnosed aspie brain)

More than 5 outfits per type. I there are others out here with more CC than me screaming about how much time they have to spend in CAS to change up the outfits. Default the days to take longer. Yes I can do it all by myself but rn I'm kinda nervous to tweak anything. If they don't want to give us more than 5 outfits per category then let US create and save our own styled looks.

Functional Cars. Functional Apartments. Functional Hotels.

FUCKING FIX DINING OUT!!!!! Stop being lazy asses and making the modding community hold your game on THEIR shoulders. Or at least when you release things that are going to break MAJOR MODS (our poor baking community is strugglin y'all) Maybe, oh IDK ask them if they want an early access to start fiddling with codes.

Give us cool new worlds based on NOT cites in the US. We've had Shang Simla & Champs Les Sim. Can we please have more? Or hell give us 2 bare bones CAW's back. There are builders I would make it rain $$ on if I could get an entire world by them!!

Maybe I should change one of my traits to needy or high maintenance after that list that was literally just stuff off the top of my head. I will see myself out now. Thanks

what colour is your plumbob right now: Yellow because my sleep is dangerously red but I think I fixed my game w/o wiping everything & starting from scratch. Never underestimate a woman & her caffeine to save a shopping habit that happens to cost nada. kthxbyefr!

Oh yea! I need to tag others! @cinamun fer sure! @hopefulsimmer , @bankmybills & @bellagothgf

#simblr #about me #tag game #ts4 simblr

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quickdeaths · 1 year

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KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )

✿ NAME: Bryn

✿ PRONOUNS: she/her

✿ PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Discord! My # is available to mutuals always! Besides that, tumblr IM is fine but certainly not my long-term preference.

✿ NAME OF MUSE(S): So many @_@ go check em out quickdeaths.tumblr.com/muses

✿ EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?): So, I started out doing RP as a little baby child in 2006, initially moved over to tumblr in 2011, and then made the blog that ultimately bound me to this curséd site forever in 2015, and have been here ever since.

✿ PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: Oh dear so many. Well, I started out on good old giant in the playground freeform RP. I stopped into Gaia for like a cup of coffee around a similar time. Somewhat adjacent to that, or slightly after, I did some stuff on LiveJournal, and then eventually migrated to tumblr in 2011. Since then, I have occasionally done stuff on Discord, and Google Docs. I might be forgetting one or two, but this should be adequate proof that I have been doing this too long haha.

✿ BEST EXPERIENCE: Too many! Meeting my bestie for life @dilffactory Ben and meeting my girlfriend have to both be at the top. Super long-running stuff with @dcviated and my friend Chey (who has mostly RP-retired) are also both up there too.

✿ RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS: I try not to have too many of these! That said, I am sensitive to people ONLY wanting my canon characters, and also people who seem to want to collect partners (ship or otherwise) for status rather than actually write with them. I'm a person, not a pokemon!

✿ FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: Ehehe... well... it's probably angst. I like fluffy stuff too, so a good mix (but perhaps slightly more on the angsty side given the choice) is best, especially if there's a plot through-line that flows through the whole thing. Smut is very much a sometimes food for me. I'm not super confident in writing it, and the one time I was more willing to write it openly I had a very Yikes experience. I'm never saying No to the idea in abstract, but there are a lot of things to go over before it gets to that point.

✿ PLOTS OR MEMES: Plots!!! I don't particularly like IC memes as a way to thread in the first place, although I understand that's how a lot of people here do things, so I put up with it. Plots, meanwhile, make my brain turn into an overworked easy bake oven with steam coming off it and everything, plot with me and I will be your best friend.

✿ LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: It depends what one means by "long." Aside from dash commentary stuff and little meme things, I think almost everything I've written is minimum 2-3 paragraphs, and usually double that. I default to like 5ish, although I can absolutely do much more if I feel like my partner also likes that kind of thing and won't find it boring to read, overwhelming, or navel-gazey.

✿ BEST TIME TO WRITE: Evening, usually, just because there's not much else on my plate and everyone else is sleeping haha. I can write whenever though.

✿ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): I have a lot so it's hard to say! I think whenever you make an OC, you're giving them SOMETHING of yours, and when adapting a canon, there's at least something you resonate with, whether it's something you see in yourself or not. Very tentatively, I might say I'm most like Rio and Kiyomi, but even then I'd say it's less like "we're similar people" and more like "there are a handful of things we have in common," if that makes sense.

Tagged by: Stolen from @moonsmultimusings

Tagging: normally I am big on tagging people so that people feel included but I gotta go play fire emblem so.

If you love fire emblem, consider yourself tagged. If you hate the firéd emblem? you're tagged. if you are indiffferent? t a g g e d. If you have never heard of Lucina from Fire Emblem Awakening (who doesn't know Lucina?), you KNOW you are tagged.

#dash memes

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liz-and-the-blue-bird · 1 year

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Good evening to me

As is tradition for these long personal posts, I am currently moving. Look at my cleaned up desk set up:

Here's a song.

My job suddenly let me go a couple weeks ago. I'm not worried, but... well I'm starting to get worried. I was initially feeling ok, because I actually had an interview lined up for the week following, but that fell through too now so I'm just very nervous.

So I've been saddled with a lot of time to think now. And it's all been bad. I'm basically stuck again. I've moved back with my parents for the time being and it stinks. They haven't been berating me or anything (though I'm sure it will come soon enough), but I just feel so... trapped. I feel like I'm stuck in a time loop, cursed to never escape or... well, to be honest, develop a real relationship.

I'm strongly reminded of my time stuck at my parent's home immediately after I first graduated college. While I had been broken up with the ex for about two years or so by then, it still was grating on me subconsciously, I know because my default state is very extroverted and during maybe the 2-3 years after her, I was very soft spoken and introverted. I didn't reach out to people that much. It felt like I was trying to remember who I was for a little bit, after dedicating a little too much to someone else. Then I felt extra useless because I just couldn't get a job for the life of me, maybe for like 4 months if I remember correctly.

Those were really rough months, as I tried to find meaning in what I was doing.

Well, I feel like I'm in that spot again. Broke up with the same girl. Then sent to live with the parents in the same old room that is now accruing mess because I'm just not a very well kept guy.

I'm really scared right now.

And I've let my mind just wander back to the ex. The problem with this room is I have 2 strong memories of it: 1) being stuck here, not able to find a job and 2) watching the ex sleep in my bed, a little bit sick, waiting for her to wake up so that I can make us dinner. So I start wondering if should contact her, because I feel so much like I'm running out of time. I'm getting too old, or something.

I'm scared I'm gonna be alone forever, or, if I do fall in love again, fall in love in a way that I find disappointing or settle or whatever.

So I start wondering if I should contact her. It's not even just I want to talk to her again about stuff that only we could talk about (as I stated before, she occupied this specific intersection of people that I just don't have anywhere else), I actively just... want that type of relationship connection again.

Then my mind races through whether she would even want to date me again.

Then my mind races through the complexities of dating her again, what friends I'd need to inform, which friends I'd actively keep in the dark because they would reject her and fight me about it, probably for my own good tbh.

Then my mind races through the complexities of, well, dating someone who my brain can't even trust anymore.

My mom isn't helping. If you may remember, after the previous break up, she briefly mentioned "what if you do end up together." I thought that would be the end of it, but recently we were talking about the people in my ex's town having to forget about me for a second time. Then my mom said "hopefully for the last time, but ya know, your dad was saying- oop." and then she changed the topic.

I wonder if I still sound happy when talking about my ex. Because maybe my parents are still wondering if I'm going to forgive her and go back to her. It's been already 3 months after a 5 month long relationship and here I still am.

It's all a mess and then I realize that I really shouldn't contact her or try to even initiate this conversation because it wouldn't work out for one reason or another and then I get trapped in the feeling of being scared and alone forever again.

And I tried to cry today.

I tried. With tears and everything. It didn't really work. I can't really cry unless I'm with someone I'm very comfortable with after telling them what happened. So... The last time I cried with tears was January 28th, in my ex's arms. The first and last time I cried with her. And also the first time I cried with tears since... hm. There was a moment in 2018 where I really broke down and cried in my room. But.. yea. That's it.

See, the thing is, I know I will be ok alone. I know I'll find my own peace and my own happiness being alone. I watched my uncle do it before he passed away. I've watched family friends do it. Hell, I thought I was aromatic until I re-met the ex.

But that's the rub, isn't it? I thought I was aromatic.

After dating her again, I realize that I very very very very clearly am not.

There's a degree of personal happiness that I can't access alone. If my personal happiness goes from 1/10 (deciding if life is worth living) to 10/10 (on a date with a girl who I know likes me), then the degrees of happiness 9/10 and 10/10 are locked unless I'm with someone. I haven't felt 9/10 or 10/10 without dating someone. And I had forgotten this was all the case until I dated her again. When I was alone those 8 years, I thought my 8/10 happy moments was as good as it was gonna get.

It wasn't.

And now I'm scared I'll never be able to reach that degree of happiness again.

Because, you see, I've been looking around. I've been talking to people, trying to find someone new. I've hit some sparks, I can feel some girls liking me. But I don't think I like them the same way I liked the ex.

With the ex, I was ecstatic about her in every way. I wanted to talk about her to everyone I knew. She was 3 hours away, and that 3 hour drive to her house was the greatest amount of anticipation I ever felt. It was exhilarating. Every time.

I still remember the first time I saw her again, she just walked out the door, jumped, surprised because I spooked her from the corner, then she charged and hugged me. And I felt 10/10. I felt 11/10. It was one of the greatest moments of my life.

This isn't a hyperbole.

But I don't know if I'll reach this with someone else.

Maybe I just haven't found the one yet. But I'm scared I'll run out of time. There some part of me that just wants my future wife to be someone I've known for a very long time. I kinda don't want someone new, I want someone I'm familiar with. Someone nostalgic.

I think I'm just imposing what my ex and I had onto future girls, which is causing me to not accept different kinds of interactions with them. But I really don't know how else to describe it other than they don't make me as excited. I'm not getting that spark. I don't get it. I just.. don't understand. I guess I'm just not over her yet.

And then the final bit is that an old boss of mine contacted me. I think I might take his job, but it's taking a bit longer for it to materialize. However, this job is in small town, Louisiana. The same small town that killed my romanticism 5-ish years ago.

It's a really really good opportunity. It would literally triple-quadruple my previous wage, and, I was not being paid minimum wage or anything. And he says eventually I'd be transferred to New Orleans, so at least I know I wouldn't be trapped in small town, USA.

I'm just.. scared I'll be alone forever.

So I'm trying to decide if I should text her again.

And I really, really shouldn't.

But... maybe.

ah I don't know anymore

#to me #anyway it's 2 am and i have a flight later so good night

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