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#this is such a niche joke but it's so funny to me that i base my animals milk schedule around this dnd show hahaha

other-peoples-coats · 2 years

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Cody and Obi-wan are both dudes who would be champion chessboxers, if they were in a reality where chessboxing was A Thing, but Cody gets into it from the chess end and just happens to pick up (and be really good at) boxing, and Obi-wan gets into it from the boxing end and is very much encouraged towards chess by friends/family bc less concussions, please, dear god man

#cody #obi-wan kenobi #star wars #codywan #like i's implicit but you need to know: this is codywan in my heart.#do I know much about chess? well less than I know about boxing.#(I know very little about boxing. that's the joke. my sports were 1)Niche and/or 2)Baby Queers Play This)#anyway it's so funny o me that codywan is jock-genius for jock-genius but from opposite ends of the spectrum.#jock who happens to be good at maths vs maths nerd who happens to also be the quaterback.#or like whatever we don't really do quarterbacks here I'm basing that off Vauge Impressions Via Media Osmosis #coats chats

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ijusthavesomanyblorbos · 1 year

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the transformers iceberg

(explanations + commentary below the cut)

This iceberg is less an objective measure of the community and more just my personal descent into the fandom over the last year or so. Every iceberg I could find online is like bayverse exclusively, and I wanted to make one specific to my experience!! So, this one is mostly idw comics, with some fandom jokes/theories, and little tidbits of the movies/TV shows mixed in. I know a lot of the stuff in the top and middle probably seem super elementary to you guys, but I was really making this with the lense of someone who has absolutely no experience with the lore AT ALL (how I started out) So the top layer is like, basic normal person things to know. Then layer two (still above the water) is slightly niche knowledge that you probably wouldn’t have without SOME kind of immersion in the media. Then you have the first layer below the water, which is still basic esc canon. Then you have the niche cannon. Then you have the WEIRD canon. (I’m looking at you Moon fight). And THEN we’ve got the deep sea stuff! Which… speaks for itself. Anyways, I’m definitely gonna keep adding to this so if you have any ideas please send them in!! And let me know if you have a favorite cause I think some of these are pretty funny :)

If you want clarification on one of these feel free to shoot me an ask and I’ll totally explain it!!

Also, as far as lore stuff, I’m basing a lot of these off of the TFwiki IDW timeline which you can find here. So, that’s my provided source.

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yoongiseesawmp3 · 1 year

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get you, pt2 - seungcheol (m)

summary: neighbor!seungcheol. after your first date with cheol, you just keep falling harder. you start sharing more and more of your life with him, opening up your heart and home to the prince charming from across the hall.

word count: 12.2k (part two/?) part one

warnings: afab reader (some gendered terms), nsfr (not safe for ramadan), cussing, smut!!!! fingering, oral (f receiving), protected sappy lovey dovey sex

of course your first date with cheol was perfect. he was a complete gentleman, buying your dinner and waiting patiently at the record store after while you searched through all the new and old releases. he even carried all of your picks just for you to give up half of them because you decided “i don’t need all these albums” right before you checked out.

even though that was your first date with cheol, it didn’t seem like a first date at all. usually you’re on edge trying to make a good impression while deciding whether you like the guy or not, but this was the easiest date you’ve ever been on. the hard part was ending it. cheol came back to your apartment after, helping you organize your vinyls and cds by your meticulous standards. after teasing you endlessly for your filing system that makes no sense (it’s based on vibes) cheol asked if you had anything to drink, and once again you find yourselves sitting entirely too close and sharing a glass. you put on one of the vinyls you just bought before you sat down, and you sit together in comfortable silence as it plays softly. when it’s time to flip, cheol gets up and does it for you, coming back to sit even closer than he was before with his arm around your shoulders. you’re snug in the corner of your couch, but you shift to try and give cheol more room. instead he just lifts your legs in one arm and drapes them over his lap, comfortably resting his hand on your thigh after.

“this ok?” he asks, looking at you to confirm.

“it’s nice,” you tell him, and he squeezes your thigh in agreement. “what do you think of the album?”

“it’s good,” he nods. “now i understand why you wanted this on your chill shelf and not the funk shelf.”

“it’s chill funk,” you joke, “and that’s too niche for it’s own shelf. but it’s more chill than anything else so it makes sense.”

“or you could just do it by, i don’t know, the alphabet?” cheol asks, holding back a smile.

“that’s boring,” you pout.

“oh, baby thinks being logical is boring?” cheol pouts back, and you admire his lips for a moment before it clicks: you could just kiss him. you’ve done it before, and you did just go on a date with the man. instead of daydreaming about a kiss, you could just...lean forward and press your lips to his. you sigh into his mouth when your lips connect, and he holds you by the thighs tighter. your hands drape over his broad shoulders, angling him more towards you so it’s easier for you to run your lips over his. you pull back slightly to catch your breath, but cheol’s lips chase yours, still perfectly pouted and an even brighter shade of cherry red than before. you knock your forehead into his, giggling, and he laughs too, asking, “what’s wrong with you? that wasn’t funny.”

“no,” you say, calming your laughs. “i just..can’t really believe i did that. can’t believe we went on a date.”

“neither can i, honestly,” cheol says, and you pull back completely to look at him fully. “well, i mean, i knew it would happen eventually,” he continues. “because i knew i wanted to ask you out. i just didn’t expect you to make the first move.”

“hey!”

“sorry babe,” he shrugs. “but really, next time you wanna go out, just ask me, no need for an elaborate story-”

“that’s it, i’m calling vernon,” you say as you reach for your phone, “i need him to clear my name.”

“did you tell him we went out anyway?” cheol asks casually, and you stop. “you didn’t, did you?”

“no,” you shake your head sheepishly, and cheol smiles at you. “honestly i didn’t want to be distracted by him teasing me while we were on our date.”

“understandable,” cheol nods. “when i told mingyu we were finally going out i actually had to put my phone on dnd. otherwise gyu would’ve blown it up.”

“god, he’s gonna feel like he made this happen,” you groan, head falling into the crook of cheol’s neck. he smiles at the ticklish feeling of your breath hitting his skin, but he doesn’t ask you to move. “you know, now that i think about it, we have really annoying friends.”

“yeah,” cheol sighs. “but they mean well.”

“whatever,” you reply, closing your eyes to enjoy this moment. the warmth of cheol around you, his scent encasing you with every breath, and the music...it had turned off. when did that happen? you pick your head up and look at your record player and, yep, totally still.

seungcheol watches your eyes and picks up on your train of thought, saying, “it turned off a while ago. guess we didn’t really notice.”

“oh.”

“yeah.”

the unspoken issue between you now is: who’s going to make the first move to get up? and what happens then? usually cheol just goes home once it’s too late, but you’re dating now, right? so, should you ask him to stay? as always, it’s like he was reading your mind, and he says, “i guess i should go.”

“really?” you ask, your head back on his shoulder looking at him with pleading eyes. “but i’m comfy.”

“yeah, but i’m about to fall asleep,” he laughs, “and you don’t want to be stuck under me when that happens.”

“or do i?” you counter, and a flicker of something crosses his eyes that you can’t read. “i wouldn’t make you sleep on the couch though.”

“noted,” he says quietly, holding your gaze for a moment longer. he squeezes your thigh again, but this time moves you off his lap carefully. “but i should really go back.”

“o-ok,” you say, holding back a yawn as you watch cheol grab his things. “want me to walk you so you don’t get lost?”

“no,” he laughs, “but cmere.”

“what?” you ask, a small smile on your face as you get up and meet him at the door. he wraps an arm around your waist, bringing you close to him as he dips down to kiss you one more time. your eyes flutter closed, and you stay like that long after he pulls away.

“night darling,” he whispers, placing a kiss on your cheek. you open the door for him and watch him cross the hall, leaning on your door with a hand on your cheek where he kissed you. cheol looks back and gives a small wave before he disappears behind his door, and you close your own and smile happily to yourself, realizing that warm feeling in your chest might be here to stay.

everything about cheol is easy. going on a date with him was easy. kissing him was easy. finding little things that make you realize you’re falling in love with him, that was easy too.

while your feelings for cheol have been brewing since you met him, the first time you thought this might be love was a couple days after your first date. you were coming home from work, tired and stressed, and you had the scare of your life when you opened the door to your apartment. laid out on your couch, asleep with a book held tightly to his chest, was seungcheol. you yelped a little when you saw the surprise waiting for you, and fred stirs first from his spot by cheol’s feet. his movement wakes your visitor, and he sits up slowly to find you staring at him with confusion and a little fear in your eyes.

“what’s wrong?” he asks, still out of it.

“um? what are you doing here? how’d you get inside?” you ask nervously. “your couch isn’t doing it for you, had to come in here and use mine?”

“oh,” he yawns, sitting up slowly and messing with his mussed hair. if you weren’t so startled you’d be cooing over how cute he looks, but your heart is still slowing from the fright he gave you. “sorry, i should’ve texted you but i didn’t want to worry you at work.”

“what happened?” you ask as you join him on the couch, and his arm wraps around you out of habit. “did someone break in?”

“no, but they could have,” cheol eyes you with a hint of annoyance. “i came back from my run right after you left for work, and i guess fred heard me thinking you were back home so he was whining pretty loud. i almost texted you then, asking if i could come get your keys so i could check on him, but i tried your door and somebody-” a light flick to your forehead “-forgot to lock up before they left.”

“oops?” you try, and when cheol continues looking at you with a hint of disappointment you try rubbing the spot he flicked. “also ouch.”

“oh you’re fine,” he says quickly, kissing the spot on your forehead he flicked. “anyway, i opened the door and fred had gotten sick in the kitchen. i took him out and he was sick again, so i just stayed over here to keep an eye on him. he’s been fine since. did he eat anything weird last night?”

“not that i know of,” you reply, watching cheol closely. “i can’t believe you risked breaking and entering charges for me.”

“it was for fred.”

“well he’s basically my son, so,” you say, trying to hide your smile. “thank you baby, i’m glad he’s got you looking out for him.”

“baby?” cheol smiles. “i don’t think you’ve called me that before.”

“thought i’d give it a try,” you explain. “figure i’ll have to work my way up to calling you sweetcheeks.”

“you can call me sweetcheeks now,” he says with a smirk, pushing his cheeks up as he continues, “i mean i am pretty sweet.”

“those aren’t the cheeks i’m talkin about,” you joke, pulling his hands from his face as you wiggle your eyebrows at him. cheol falls back into the couch with a loud laugh, and you kick your feet up onto the couch so you can lean back with him and rest your head on his shoulder.

“never mind, never call me that please.”

“too bad sweetcheeks, already changed your contact in my phone to it.”

even though that wasn’t the first time cheol had shown you he cared for you deeply, it was the first time it made you feel safe with him. protected. looked after. knowing you had cheol, and he had you, that meant the world. so seeing first hand what lengths he was willing to go for you planted that seed telling you this might just be love. for cheol, it was a different story.

a few days after cheol’s breaking and entering, he had told you he might be a little busier than usual because of school, so you agreed to have a week to yourselves. mostly. just because you didn’t have time for each other doesn’t mean you won’t find ways to sneak over to his to have coffee with him in the morning, or he won’t stop by once he hears you get home from work just for a quick kiss and to hear how your day was. this week was hard though, cheol had his own school stuff to handle with assignments and ta work, but he also had a bunch of music lessons to prepare for because of end of year concerts. he was out of his apartment from sun up to sun down it seemed, and you knew he wouldn’t have time to take care of himself.

all week you tried to figure out the pattern of when cheol would get back home so that you could surprise him on friday. once it got close, you kept the noise in your apartment to a minimum so you could hear cheol as soon as he got to his door. you had spent the night cooking for him, making sure he’d have a nice meal to help him refresh and get ready for what was probably going to be a stressful weekend too. the minute you heard his keys, you threw your door open, making him jump slightly.

“y/n, hi,” he says, confused. “what are you doing up so late?”

“i’m a night owl, you should know this by now, baby,” you tell him. you almost get distracted by the way he’s dressed, obviously coming back from his ta job since’s in one of his nice button ups and another pair of slacks that highlight his juicy thighs. cheol watches as you practically drool over him, and he clears his throat to get your attention.

“i feel like this is deja vu from the last time you saw me dressed like this,” he teases, bringing a blush to your cheeks. “what’s up my love?”

not missing his new nickname for you, you tell him to wait there as you disappear to your kitchen to grab the food you’d made for him. while you were gone, fred sauntered up to the door and cheol crosses the hall to baby talk with him and scratch his ears, further endearing him for you when you return.

“here,” you say, forcing the two dishes in your arms upon him. “the purple dish can go in the microwave, but heat the green one up in the oven for a few minutes.” you put your hand on his shoulder, using it as leverage to stand on your toes and kiss his cheek. “see you later, sweetcheeks. get some rest.”

“what?” cheol laughs slightly, looking down at the delicious food in his hands. “what is this?”

“your dinner,” you respond. “i figured you haven’t eaten a healthy meal this week, so i made you one. there should be enough for you to have leftovers, unless you’re hungrier than i expected. anyway, it should take care of you for tonight at least.”

“but,” he sputters, “you? did you eat?”

“yes,” you nod, “those of us who finish work at a normal time tend to eat soon after.”

“smart ass,” he smiles, cocking his head toward his door. “come over and watch me eat then. i’ll give you a play by play of how amazing it is.” cheol crosses back to his door, looking back at you still standing at yours. “oh, unless you’re tired?”

“no,” you hesitate. “i just don’t want to bother you, you must be exhausted.”

“baby, come over,” cheol whines, his signature pout coming out. “i miss you, and we’re both gonna be up for a while anyway.”

“well if you insist,” you say, about to close your door and join him.

“lock your door or so help me,” he laughs, pointing an accusing finger at you from underneath one of your dishes. you groan and say you’ll be over in a second, diving back into your apartment to find your god forsaken keys.

“so you’re not tired?” you ask as you enter seungcheol’s apartment, closing (and locking) his door behind you.

“hm, i was,” he starts from the kitchen, and when you walk in your find him with a spoon already stuffed in his mouth. “but i don’t know, some crazy person forced me to take food from them and now i feel fine.”

“i can go back home-”

“no!” cheol shouts, grabbing you by the waist before you can make a move. “stay. for just a little bit. i’m making you a plate whether you like it or not.”

“i already ate,” you assure him.

“then i’ll just take what you don’t want,” he solves the problem easily, and you wrap your arms around him and lean into his chest as you wait for the food to finish.

“i missed you,” you mumble into his shirt, appreciating how it still smells like him even after a long day. “you shouldn’t work so much, because it wears you out, obviously, but i don’t think it’s fair for us to spend so much time apart all in the same week.” then, looking up at him with your chin still on his chest, “what if i forget what you look like?”

“then take a picture, darling,” he teases, booping your nose just before the microwave beeps. he pulls you off of him so he can take the food out, putting a healthy amount on both plates he’s got on the counter. you peek into the oven and check on the rest of the food, and you feel a hand graze your ass as seungcheol moves quietly behind you.

“hey!” you shout, “you touched my butt!”

“huh?” he plays innocent. “wasn’t me, promise. i must have a ghost.”

“tell your ghost i’m taken,” you reply, looking for oven mitts. cheol reads your mind and hands you one from the drawer behind him, and you remove the second dish from the oven.

“about that,” cheol starts off, watching you give his plate more food than you put on yours. you turn around, handing him his plate, while you wait for him to go on. “can i start calling you my girlfriend?”

“yeah, i’ve been calling you my boyfriend,” you say simply, walking past him to hop up into one of the chairs at the bar on the other side of the kitchen. you watch him as you take a couple bites, hiding a smile as he opens his mouth in shock.

“who have you told?!”

“mostly vernon,” you reply. “but tahi and jen have asked, so i assume some of the guys have heard it too. wonwoo at least, not sure about gyu.”

“so am i the last one to know about this?” he asks as he takes the empty seat next to you.

“guess so, boyfriend,” you tell him, nudging his arm before you say, “now eat.”

in between bites, and telling you how great the food is, cheol tells you about his week. school was hard, being a ta was harder, but the highlights were his music lessons. he mostly does piano, which is easy for him he claims, but there’s a couple violin lessons he looks forward to more. there’s one kid though, a family friend he tells you, who wants to learn how to rap and produce. cheol lights up as he talks about him, and you watch fondly as he gets so excited over his little prodigy learning how to layer tracks or discovering what an 808 is. you’re interested in what he’s saying, really, but the late hour and your own hard work catches up to you and makes you yawn.

“you should go to sleep,” cheol says, finishing the last bite of food off your plate. “thank you for the food, my love. this made my week.”

“you’re welcome,” you reply with another yawn. “are you gonna head to bed too?”

“honestly, i’m not tired anymore,” cheol laughs, and you groan as you lean into his side. he uses his leg to bring your chair closer to his, finding your hands so he can play with your fingers. “guess all i needed was some time with my baby and i feel back to 100 percent.”

“while i think that’s very precious,” you start, “i’m upset i did this now because i know you probably won’t go to sleep for a while.”

“eh, it’s fine,” cheol shrugs. “it was worth it. i can always take a sleeping pill too, that’ll knock me out.”

“you stay stocked up?” you joke, surprised that’s such a casual option for him but he nods before he explains.

“i’ve got insomnia, so i use them every once in a while. i can’t go straight to sleep unless my body and mind are exhausted.”

“so you haven’t used them this week i assume?”

“no, i haven’t,” he laughs. “but it’s not a big deal if i use one tonight. i don’t feel like wearing myself out before bed so this is fine.”

“what do you usually do?” you ask. “if you don’t wanna take a pill, i mean. how do you get yourself tired enough to go to sleep?”

“i’ll do a workout, or if it’s not too late i’ll go for a run,” he explains. ��but mostly i work out. or uh, exhaust myself another way.” he clears his throat at that, grabbing your empty plates to take them to the sink. you watch as he washes them diligently, and you say something that gets drowned out by the water. “what was that babe?”

“if you ever need help, uh, wearing yourself out,” you say delicately, cheol smirking at you trying to be subtle about it. “if you ever need help i’m probably up. you could just, um, you could just call me. next time.”

“next time,” cheol says, almost like a question, and you nod.

“yeah, next time.”

“alright baby,” he smiles at you softly, his heart thudding in his chest as it hits him: he’s in love with you. he realizes he’s just been staring at you this whole time, and he clears his head by wiping the newly clean dishes off. “um, do you want your dishes back? i can-”

“keep em,” you shrug. “it’s not like i won’t be back over here soon.”

“right,” he smiles, his heart pitter pattering softly. “want me to walk you home?”

“oh, so you can walk me home but i can’t walk you?” you scoff, and he just glides around the counter to grab your wrist and pull you toward the door anyway. he takes you back across the hall, tucking some hair behind your ear before he cups your face and kisses you goodnight.

“night darling,” he says, sugar dripping from his voice. “and thank you, i loved this little surprise.”

“i’ll do it more often then,” you smile back at him, unlocking your door and waving before it closes behind you.

that weekend, tahi and jen come over for a girls night, insisting you need it knowing how much you’ve worked lately. you neglect to tell seungcheol though, so when he finishes with his music lessons for the day he crosses the hall and knocks on your door as usual just to be met with screams to go away.

laughing, you answer the door, clad in what cheol notices is a brand new keroppi pajama set. as his eyes rake up your body, he smiles and you can see the beginnings of a joke forming on his lips when he notices the curlers in your hair.

“hey sexy,” he smiles wider, hand reaching up to play with a poor strand of neglected hair hanging by itself. “you missed a spot.”

“do not mock me,” you warn him, finger not so threateningly pressed into his chest. “i can never reach the back of my head so the girls are helping me.”

“you know i could help you?” cheol laughs. “i’m your boyfriend, i think that’s within my official capacity.”

“yeah, but if i let you see me getting ready like this then it ruins the movie magic.”

“baby if you were a movie i’d be watching the extended cut and all the behind the scenes,” cheol jokes, and he hears boos from your living room. that’s when he peeks inside and notices jen on the couch, also wearing a pajama set of her government assigned sanrio character (cinnamoroll). “hey jen.”

“tahi’s here too,” you tell him, and he looks around but you say, “in the kitchen. i think she’s making tea.”

“ooo, tea sounds great,” cheol says as he tries to walk into your apartment, and you do your best to use your smaller frame to stop him. “baby, what are you doing?”

“girls night,” you say sternly. “no boys allowed.”

“no boys?” he pouts, and you can hear tahi telling you to be strong.

“no boys,” you confirm with a nod, and cheol pinches your cheek.

“fine. where’s fred then?”

“what?”

“if you’re having girls night then me and fred are gonna have boys night,” cheol says. “gimme his toys, he’s sleeping at my house.”

“NO,” jen shouts, “you can’t take him, he’s the only reason i came over!”

“hey!” you and tahi whine, and with the distraction cheol is able to grab fred’s leash from the wall and call for his partner in crime. fred happily gets up from beneath jen’s feet to meet cheol at the door, going along with whatever happens. you sigh as you notice how excited fred looks, so you trudge through your apartment grabbing whatever fred may need to spend the night with your annoying boyfriend.

“here,” you grumble, shoving a bag into cheol’s eager hands. he looks just as excited as fred, so that softens the blow a little bit. “you two have fun. don’t stay up too late, don’t talk to strangers, and please don’t lose my dog.”

“i would never,” cheol scoffs, leaning in to give you a kiss. “i know you’d break up with me if anything happened to him and i won’t allow that.”

“hm, whatever you say. just come back in one piece tomorrow morning,” you tell him and he nods.

“that i can do,” and then to fred, “let’s go buddy! boys night boys night!” chanting all the way across the hall to his door. you watch them with an idiotic grin on your face, and when you close your door you hear someone clearing their throat. you turn around to see tahi and jen both staring at you expectantly, and confused you simply ask, “what?”

“you know you’re in love with him, right?” jen asks, and you balk.

“i am not,” you reply quickly, and then you backtrack, “i mean, i like him, obviously, he’s my boyfriend. i should like him. i do. a lot. but love? i don’t love him. yet. maybe. do i?”

“yeah, you’re definitely in love with him,” tahi says as she hands you your mug of tea before she kicks off her my melody slippers and takes what’s usually cheol’s spot on the couch. “anyone can see it.”

“do you think cheol knows?” you ask, nervous.

“maybe,” jen shrugs. “if you were oblivious about it then maybe he is too.”

“nah, he’s been in love with her since day one,” tahi says. “you know that saying, if he wanted to he would? cheol has been the embodiment of that for y/n. i don’t know any other man that would move furniture for me after not even knowing me for five minutes.”

“cheol’s just really nice,” you mumble, and your friends nod.

“i think he’s a jerk,” jen says, and you turn to look at her just for her to say, “i can’t believe he stole fred from me.”

“oh just go over there if you miss him so much,” you groan. jen thinks about it for a second, you can see the gears turning in her head. “oh my god you’re not really gonna ditch us for my dog are you?”

“no,” she says finally. “but i’m staying for lunch tomorrow. i need to get my fred time in.”

“fine, weirdo. what movie are we gonna watch?”

after your night of being annoying with your friends, you wake up the next day shockingly early and a feeling hits you deep in the chest: you miss cheol. or fred. or both. you lay in your bed for a moment trying to decipher which one it is when you remember that you can just go over there and see them. cheol isn’t usually an early riser, but you know fred has probably needed to go out already, so you slide into your robe and slippers hoping that cheol will let you in when you knock.

you quietly make it through the living room, hopefully not disturbing your friends (because they would ridicule you for what you’re about to do). once you’re at cheol’s door, subconsciously you just reach out to open it, still a little sleep clouding your brain. but it opens. his door was unlocked, and for a second your heart drops to your ass thinking something is wrong. you step into cheol’s apartment worried, searching for your boys and any missing valuables. nothing looks wrong in the living room, so you keep going until you find his bedroom door ajar. you push it open, and let out a quiet “awww” at the sight before you.

fred is laying on cheol’s chest, a situation you’re familiar with, because he obviously wants to get up and play but cheol is to tired for that. both their heads turn at the sound of your voice, and fred’s tail starts wagging as cheol tries his best to sit up and look at you better.

“baby?” he asks, reaching out for you. “what’s wrong?”

“oh nothing,” you say nonchalantly, shuffling over to his bed to join them. “i just missed you.” cheol’s heart jumps into his throat at your words, but then you try to recover. “i mean fred. i missed fred.”

“sure,” he smiles, grabbing your hands once you’re close enough and pulling you down into his bed. “cmere. we missed you too.”

“that’s sweet,” you coo, letting him pull you against him, his arms wrapping around you as fred situates himself at your feet. “but you wanna hear something shocking?”

“what?” cheol asks, confused. “you missed me so much it hurt?”

blushing, because that was totally true, you reply, “no?”

“what then?”

“how do you think i got in here, sweetcheeks?” you ask, and the realization dawns on his face. “mister why-don’t-you-ever-lock-your-door forgot his own number one rule.”

“guess i’ve been spending too much time with you, your bad habits are rubbing off on me,” cheol mumbles into your hair, placing a kiss at the top of your head when he’s done.

“too much time?” you ask, sitting up, “i can leave then-”

“don’t you dare,” cheol growls, basically koala-grabbing you with his arms and legs so you have to lay back down. “can’t leave. ‘m comfy.”

“i have to though,” you grumble, struggling to get out of his strong hold. “i left my friends alone in my apartment. they could be stealing.”

“they’re probably still asleep.”

“but i promised i would make waffles-”

“waffles?” cheol asks, suddenly interested. “i like waffles.”

“hm.”

“let me come with you and i’ll let you go.”

“they’re gonna make fun of us.”

“whatever, we can just make out to make them uncomfortable,” cheol jokes, a shit eating grin on his face that you know is at least half serious.

“promise you won’t be weird around my friends and you can come,” you warn him, and he gives you his best puppy dog eyes, pout and all. “fine, let’s go.”

back at your apartment, you and cheol do your best to get into the kitchen without waking your guests but fred ruins it by booping noses with them just to say hey. jen is thrilled that he’s back so she stays in the living room, but tahi wanders into the kitchen and watches with a smile on her face as you and cheol work on the waffles together.

“what happened to girls night?” tahi teases, and you glare at her while cheol responds.

“this one just missed me too much,” he sighs, earning a slap to the arm. “but it’s not night anymore. it’s-” checking the oven clock “-ten in the morning, so girls night is over. do you want chocolate chips in your waffles?”

“please,” tahi nods, and cheol reaches around you, hand on your waist, to grab the bag of sweets. cheol adds some chocolate to the bowl he’s working on as tahi goes back out to join jen, and while cheol waits for the waffle iron to heat up he comes back to your side.

he dips his finger into the batter you’re working on and almost moans at the taste, asking, “what did you put in here to make it so good??”

“cinnamon? i don’t know really, i just started adding stuff,” you reply. “is it that good?”

“mhm, taste it,” he says, dipping his finger back in and presenting it to you. nervously, you lean forward and wrap your lips around his finger, licking the batter off as you hold eye contact with him. there’s electricity in the air around you as you pull back, and with a new deepness to his voice, cheol asks, “what do you think?”

“i think it needs more vanilla,” you squeak out, and cheol holds your gaze for a second longer before he nods.

“i think you’re right,” he says, finding the bottle of extract and taking over the work for you. you just watch on, heart beating quickly in your chest, as you try to calm down from whatever that was.

cheol’s bold move in the kitchen changed things. obviously you’ve thought about the physical side of your relationship, but so far it hasn’t naturally gone further than making out a little bit or grabbing each other’s butts. now though? you can’t stop thinking about what could’ve happened if you and cheol had gone further. you catch yourself daydreaming about his hands and what they could do, and that leads you down a deep dark hole. you’re not sure how to bring it up to cheol though.

but you really should bring it up, because he’s thinking the same things. the way your lips wrapped around his finger has been bouncing around in his mind ever since. his brain reminds him of it at the worst times, and if he lets his mind wander he starts thinking about what else you could wrap your lips around. he wants so badly to say something, but doesn’t want to rush you into anything. so in silence you both wait for the other person to make a move.

that is, until the following friday when you get invited to a party at mingyu’s house. he’s known to find the most random reasons to throw parties, so you’re not even sure what the occasion is this time. you do know that cheol is excited about going as a couple, so you can’t say no. since you don’t totally understand the theme, you need reinforcements, so you stalk across the hall and bang on your boyfriend’s door.

“how exactly am i supposed to dress for a ‘spring equinox’ party?” you ask cheol as soon as he opens his door.

“um, warmly?” he guesses, toweling off his wet hair. that’s when you notice he’s just wearing his boxers, his broad chest still glistening with the remains of his shower. your mind starts to wander again, and you physically shake your head to help you focus. “at least that’s what mingyu’s text said.”

“but it’s still cold outside,” you counter, then pause. “do you answer the door for strangers in your boxers?”

“no?” he laughs. “you’re the only person who knocks on my door, so i knew it was you. in case you were jealous of the world getting to see this,” he explains, doing a little shimmy at the end.

“you’re not helping,” you groan. “what are you wearing?”

“shorts and a t shirt?” he guesses. “maybe a jacket just on the way there. but mingyu is very serious about his themes, babe, so i don’t think you can get out of this one.”

“fine,” you sigh, turning back to your door. “i’ll wear something hot.”

that you did! when cheol finishes up at his, he grabs his things and tries your door, shocked that it’s locked for once. he texts you that he’s outside, let him in pretty please, and when you open the door it takes his breath away. he’s never seen you so scantily clad before, and he finds himself staring with his mouth open. trying his best not to have the same reaction as a high school boy, he just checks you out calmly and jokes, “when you said you were dressing hot i didn’t think you meant sexy.”

“please,” you roll your eyes, “this is not sexy.”

“beg to differ,” cheol replies, looking you up and down once again. you’re wearing shorts, which he realizes now he’s never seen you in before, and he’s admiring your thighs and your ass, but the tight tank top you paired with the shorts accentuates your chest just the right way. he’s trying not to imagine what it would be like to bury his face in between-

“i’m ready,” you say finally, and cheol whines when he turns to look at you.

“why’d you put more clothes on?” he complains, openly hating the large button up you’ve added on top.

“it’s cold outside!” you whine, and he tsks. “you’re so weird. most guys would want their girlfriend to hide the goods.”

“not me,” he shakes his head. “i want everyone to be jealous of what they can’t have, so i vote no shirt.”

“i’ll take it off at the party, deal?” you ask. “i don’t wanna be cold on the way.”

“i could keep you warm,” cheol offers, and there’s that tension again. he holds your gaze, challenging you to take up on his offer. you’re about to cave when your phone buzzes with a text from tahi, asking when you’d be there.

“um, we should go,” you say as you clear your throat. “sounds like we might be late.”

“hm, shame,” cheol sighs, opening your door for you. “go ahead. i’ll lock up.”

“you just wanna stare at my ass while i walk, don’t you?”

“you know me well, darling.”

at the party, you’re greeted by a shirtless mingyu at the door. he pulls you in quickly, dragging you to the kitchen to meet his new “friend” ali. she smiles politely, happy to meet more of the posse mingyu talks about so much.

“she makes the best drinks, what’s that weird donkey drink you like y/n?” mingyu asks, and you laugh.

“a mule?” you reply, and he nods.

“yeah, she can make you one!” you look to mingyu’s special lady and she nods, getting to work.

“are you a bartender?” you ask, finding cheol over by wonwoo. he smiles at you sweetly, and you smile back.

“no,” ali replies, “i just got really into making cocktails after the pandemic. got a whole mixology kit and thought i’d try it out. now it’s my party trick, i guess.” as she finishes, she hands you your “donkey drink” and you take a sip.

“oh, this is perfect,” you say happily. “i’ll be seeing you again later, my friend.”

“sure thing,” ali smiles, and you leave her with mingyu, who literally has puppy dog eyes as he looks at her in amazement. you laugh to yourself, happy that your friends will have someone new to tease for being in love. you walk over to join cheol and wonwoo in the living room, linking your arm with cheol’s as you listen to their conversation.

“i’m just saying, he’s weird, man,” cheol starts. “who throws a party practically in the middle of winter and makes us wear summer clothes?”

“i think he just wanted an excuse to be shirtless in front of that girl,” you point out, and the guys nod.

“or, crazy thought, there’s a whole season in between winter and summer,” wonwoo says, looking back at cheol. “and it’s about to start. maybe that’s why he’s having a spring equinox party.”

“that’s my point,” cheol whines, lips forming his signature pout. “who does that! what does equinox even mean!”

“it happens when the sun crosses-” wonwoo starts, and cheol whines again, head falling to your shoulder.

“baby make him stop, i don’t want a science lesson,” he says, arms wrapping around your waist as he turns into your neck. you and wonwoo share a look, yours trying to apologize for cheol’s behavior and wonwoo’s just amused by the sight before him. he says something about going to find tahi, and you’re left alone with your clingy boyfriend.

“what is your problem,” you laugh, trying and failing to push cheol off of you.

“you are,” he pouts again. “you look too good and there’s too many people here for me to make out with you without being self conscious.”

“outside?” you suggest, and cheol looks at you mischievously.

“thought you said it was cold out.”

“i thought you said you could keep me warm?”

while it’s not the balcony that you and cheol shared your first kiss on, you find yourself in a similar situation a few seconds later. you easily snuck out without anyone noticing, cheol even managing to grab a bottle of soju for you to share as you passed by the kitchen. it’s neglected at first, because the second you slide the door closed, cheol’s hands are gripping your cheeks and pulling your lips to his. you sigh into the kiss, instantly warming at the contact. you kiss him until you need a breather, and you pull back with a dopey smile on your face as you admire the man before you.

“hey, you’re cute,” you whisper, laughing when he blushes.

“you’re cuter,” he counters, leaning down to grab the soju he placed by the door before he takes a swig and hands it to you. “i didn’t bring cups, hope that’s okay.”

“we just swapped spit, we can share a bottle,” you reply, taking it from him and having a healthy drink yourself. you keep passing it back and forth between you, cheol asking for a kiss every once in a while in exchange for the bottle. when it’s finally empty, he moves like he’s going back into the party, but you stop him. “wait, let’s stay out here for a minute.”

“okay,” cheol nods. “you’re not cold?”

“a little,” you shrug, placing your hands on the cool railing. “but i’m a little drunk so that’s helping.” cheol is quiet for a second and you’re comfortable just admiring the night sky like this, but his strong arms wrap around you and pull you into his chest.

“warm now?” he checks, and you nod. you relax in his arms, one of your hands reaching up to hold onto his. cheol places a kiss to the top of your head, and in that moment you feel yourself wanting to say that you love him. you don’t though, afraid to break the silence surrounding you and risk ruining the moment. so instead, you just nod and take a deep breath.

you’re not sure how much time passes with you standing like this, cheol eventually swaying you back and forth to the beat of whatever playlist mingyu has going inside. eventually, the music gets louder, and you realize together that someone must have opened the door to the balcony. looking back you see a smug vernon there, ready to crack a joke, but you beat him to it.

“what’s up, champ?” you ask and he smiles.

“your favorite person is here,” he replies, and you gasp, unraveling yourself from cheol’s grasp. you follow vernon back inside, eyes searching for one of his friends that you always love seeing. when your eyes land on seungkwan you almost scream, rushing forward to pull him into a hug. you both start talking a mile a minute, trying to catch up over the past few months all in a few seconds.

cheol comes in from the balcony, empty bottle in his hand, and he stops next to vernon. he notices cheol’s rigid posture as he watches you and seungkwan, making vernon laugh.

“don’t be jealous, dude,” vernon assures him. “me, y/n and seungkwan were all really close in college, but he’s not interested. it’s just been a while since he’s visited so you can understand why she’s so excited.”

“yeah, i get it,” cheol nods.

he stands for another moment, watching you closely, before turning away and mumbling about finding a recycling bin. in the kitchen he makes you both new drinks, taking yours over so he can meet your friend. he’s not jealous that you’re talking to a guy, really. he’s just jealous that vernon called this dude your favorite person. wasn’t that supposed to be cheol? he makes it back to the couch where you’re listening intently to seungkwan telling a story, and he perches on the arm of the couch behind you as he hands you a drink. you reach back and grab his hand, kissing his palm, and the gesture makes seungkwan stop cold.

“you’re joking,” he says, looking between you and cheol. “don’t tell me this is the boyfriend you mentioned.”

“he is,” you say proudly. “kwan, meet cheol, cheol meet seungkwan.”

“hey,” cheol nods.

“hi,” he says quickly. “can i be blunt?”

“sure?” cheol says, unsure of what’s coming next.

“what does someone like you see in someone like y/n?” he asks in disbelief, and you push him so hard he falls back into a sleeping hoshi. jen left him for a few minutes, hopefully to go grab him some water, so when he notices his girlfriend is gone his bottom lip starts to quiver. you push seungkwan again and say, “look what you did, you made the baby cry.”

“he’ll get over it,” he waves it off. “i’m sorry. but come on. this is a joke right?”

“no,” you whine. “cheol is my boyfriend, get over it.”

“you’ve changed, y/n,” seungkwan shakes his head. “this is the first time i’ve met one of your boyfriends and haven’t immediately wanted to talk shit about him with vernon.”

“i hate you,” you say, trying to stand up, but cheol lightly pushes you back down.

“no, let the man speak,” he smirks, and you groan as you fall back into the couch. you down your drink as seungkwan tells cheol embarrassing stories about your past, and cheol plays with your hair as he listens at full attention.

“i’m getting another drink,” you mumble, standing up and allowing cheol to take your place. he’s listening to seungkwan describe a date that he and vernon had to save you from, because the guy was an hour late to a movie and you didn’t want to watch it by yourself nor waste the ticket that you already paid for. you mentally curse vernon for inadvertently bringing the two together, and when you get back into the kitchen you find mingyu and his friend making out. “oh, sorry.”

“y/n, my bad,” mingyu says, wiping his lips with the back of his hand.

“you’re good, pretend i’m not here,” you reply as you grab things randomly and pour them into your cup. you take a sip, satisfied with the sweet taste, and you walk back out to find cheol in the same place. his face lights up when he sees you, smiling all the way up to his eyes as you get closer. there’s not much room on the couch, so you try to sit on the arm like cheol did earlier, but he’s not having that. he pulls you down by the waist to sit in his lap, and you shriek when your drink spills.

“shit,” cheol grumbles, “i’m sorry baby, here let me help-”

“it’s fine,” you say, holding your drink out to him. he takes it and you slip your button up off, tossing it over the back of the couch. “it was just the sleeve, i’m good now i think.”

“you look great,” cheol says, complete with a sneaky smile. he pulls you closer, his arm wrapping around you easily as he says lowly, “been waitin all night for you to take that off.”

something about his words and the tight hold he has on you all sends a wave of goosebumps over your skin. you shift in his lap, trying to create some space, but the friction of your ass rubbing over his crotch just has the beginnings of a boner poking through cheol’s shorts. you look at him in shock, and he’s staring back at you darkly.

“are you alright?” you ask, and he nods.

“great, you?”

“mhm,” you agree, taking a sip of your drink. cheol watches you like he’s trying to ingrain this moment in his memory, closely staring at the way your lips meet the cup and how your tongue pokes out to lick your lips when you’re done. you offer the cup to him, wanting his attention off of you for a moment, and as he takes a sip you lay your head down on his shoulder, just trying to get a moment to breathe.

the next thing you know, cheol is waking you up, saying that it’s probably time for you to leave. you only dozed off for a little while, he explains, but the party was slowly dying out and cheol wanted to get you home. your shirt is still soaked though, so at the door cheol slides off the tacky hawaiian shirt he’s been wearing all night and wraps it around your shoulders. you say your goodbyes and head back to the car, cheol’s arm wrapped around your shoulders.

“sorry i got tired at the end,” you yawn. “we could’ve stayed longer.”

“no, it’s ok,” cheol assures you. “i think mingyu was ready to kick us all out anyway.”

“yeah, i noticed we’re not the hot new couple anymore,” you joke, and cheol smiles. “are you tired though? you wanna do something-” yawn “-before we go home?”

“no baby,” he says fondly, “you need to go to bed. and wonwoo finally found me and explained what an equinox is so i think my brain is tapped out for the night too.”

“ok, because we could go get food or-”

“no baby,” he repeats, kissing your cheek. “i’m good, really. let’s go home.”

in the car you dozed off again, and cheol quietly admired you as he tried to calm himself down. he had definitely popped a boner with you sitting in his lap, and his skin was still on fire from the feeling of your ass grinding against him, even if the movement was completely innocent. he uses the ride home to get his heartbeat back to normal, and when he opens your door to walk you home you never would’ve known all the nasty thoughts running through his head. he takes you to your door, kissing you goodnight before he disappears into his apartment. you take care of fred and then work on yourself, wanting to sober up a little before you go to bed. so you take a shower and start a load of laundry, hoping your shirt didn’t stain at the party. once you’re done and laying in bed finally, you can’t seem to close your eyes for long. your mind keeps trailing back to cheol, and his big arms wrapped around you, and how it felt being so close to him with his breath fanning over your neck, and-

there’s a knock at your door.

you lay still for a moment, but when the knock comes again you relax, knowing it must be cheol. maybe he forgot something, you think as you trudge to your door. or did he not kiss you goodnight? you thought he did but maybe not. you open the door finally, and he’s standing there in what you assume are his sleep clothes, hair a mess and a darkly inviting look in his eyes.

“i can’t sleep,” he says simply. “can you help me?”

“hm, and how would i do that?” you play coy, leaning against your door frame. smirking, you look up at cheol who’s taken a step closer to you, hands coming up to hold you by the waist.

“take me to your room and i’ll show you?” he smiles back, already walking with you back into your apartment. he kicks the door closed behind him, locking it swiftly while you watch him and let him lead you wherever. “tell me baby, what do you like?”

“cheol,” you blush, bringing your hands up to push him away but he pulls you closer and basically growls into your ear.

“you want this, right?” he confirms. “you want me?”

“of course i do,” you nod, and you can feel him smiling against your neck.

“then tell me what i should do to drive you crazy,” he starts, starting at your collarbone and trailing kisses up your neck. “tell me what you love, tell me what you hate, i wanna know it all.”

“i’ll give you a study guide,” you tease.

“you joke but i would take that seriously.”

“i know.”

“i’d make flashcards,” he smiles, “carry em around. practice when i get bored.”

“i get it,” you laugh, realizing that you’re at the doorway to your room. “you gonna take me to bed or what?”

“kiss me first,” he whispers, looking up at you sweetly. you lean in, your hands cupping his cheeks as your lips meet. as you make out you pull cheol back to your bed until the backs of your knees collide with your mattress. you sit down, pulling cheol with you. he eagerly crawls on top of you, caging you in. he pulls away as he hovers above you, admiring the way you look laying beneath him. “hey.”

“hello,” you wave, and his head falls into your neck as he laughs.

“you’re beautiful, do i tell you that enough?” he mumbles into your skin, and you’re glad he’s not watching you blush the deepest shade of red.

“you tell me plenty, love.”

“i’m gonna start saying it more,” he tells you, sitting up again so he’s hovering above you. “because you are.”

“every time you do i’m just gonna remind you of your dreaminess,” you reply, and he nods.

“deal,” he agrees, dipping back down to capture your lips again. he lowers himself on top of you so he can use one arm to support himself while the other grabs the hem of your shirt. “take this off baby.”

“bossy,” you tease. “i like it.”

“noted,” cheol says, catching your eye again. “i can be bossier.”

“show me.”

“ok,” he says as he sits up completely, thick thighs straddling your legs. “take your shirt off and then keep your hands above your head. don’t move or i’ll stop.”

you do as he says, pulling your sleep shirt off before you toss it somewhere in your room. as you lay back down you notice cheol’s taken his shirt off, and you admire him while he does the same. you’re not wearing a bra so cheol watches intently, tracing every curve of your chest with his eyes.

“can’t believe this is the first time i’ve seen your tits,” he whispers, hands reaching up carefully to caress them. his thumbs rub delicately over your nipples, earning a breathy moan from you. “come on baby, gonna have to be louder for me.”

“then you’re gonna have to work for it,” you tell him, staring at him above you. you watch as his eyes shift, getting darker, and he dives in to kiss you again. this one is hungrier, full teeth nipping at your lips and cheol’s eager hands tweaking your nipples. you’re squirming beneath him, and he moans into your mouth when you brush up against the bulge in his boxers.

“careful baby,” he mumbles, “don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“but,” you gently push him away, “i thought this was for you? you’re the one that needs help, right?”

“yeah, but,” he stops to kiss you again, “i think we’re both enjoying this.”

“duh, but i want to help you,” you say, “wanna make you feel good. let me get on top.”

“no,” he says sternly, grabbing your wrists and placing your hands above your head again. “i’m in charge tonight. that’s how you can help me, yeah? just do as i say. and don’t move your hands again, baby, want you to be good for me.”

“or what, i’ll get punished?” you dramatically pout, and cheol pinches both your nipples in response. you buck up, a low whine coming from deep within your chest.

“wasn’t planning on it, but hey, if you deserve it,” cheol smirks, kissing you one more time before he trails his lips down your jawline and to your neck. he starts marking your neck, and you let out a shaky breath as you feel his hand trail to your panties. he looks up at you, silently asking for permission and you tell him it’s okay. his fingers dip into your panties, gasping when he’s met with the arousal seeping out of you. “you’re so wet darlin, this all for me?”

“mhm,” you whine, wiggling your hips to try and get more friction. “need more cheol.”

he listens, swiping some of your slick on his fingers before finding your clit. he rubs it in light circles, giving you some relief but not enough. you blubber out another whine, and then cheol dips his hand down to your core. he tests the waters, slowly easing one finger into you, and your hands fly down to his head so they can grab onto something. you pull his hair, earning a moan as he bites into your neck harder, and then you feel him slip a second finger between your walls. you moan softly as he works you closer to your high, getting louder as he strokes just the right spot inside you.

“cheol, baby, feels so good,” you moan, lifting your hips to get him deeper.

“stay still,” he growls, grabbing one of your hands from the back of his head and pinning it beside you. he keeps working at your core but he lowers himself further, puckering his plump lips around one of your nipples. he kisses and licks your hardened bud until he gets bored and moves onto the next one, moaning at the taste and feeling of your soft skin on his tongue. you use your free hand to play with your neglected nipple, breathing faster as you get closer to your orgasm. cheol picks up on it quickly, staring up at you like the finest piece of art as he whispers, “are you close baby?” all you can do is nod, already at a loss for words, so he asks, “think you can come for me like this?” you whine and stare down at him, shaking your head, so he lets go of your hand and brings his your lips. he presents you with two fingers, asking you to suck. you welcome them into your mouth, groaning as he picks up speed with his other hand. when cheol’s satisfied with your work, he brings his saliva coated fingers down to your clit to rub tight circles on top of it. the whole time he watches you closely, memorizing the way you breathe, the way your eyes roll into the back of your head, and committing every sound you make to memory. he can feel you clenching around his fingers as you come, and with a toe curling orgasm you reach your high. cheol slowly works you through it, calming his movements until your breathing settles again. you look down at him and smile, hands carding through his hair.

“sorry i couldn’t keep my hands to myself,” you whisper out. “but that was amazing.”

“yeah?” cheol asks, and you nod. “you think you can give me another?”

“cheol, let me do something for you-”

“you are,” he insists, crawling down your body until his face is level with your soaked panties. “let me eat you out and come for me again, that’s what you can do for me. alright princess?”

“princess?” you smile, and cheol hums in agreement. “i guess i can do that.”

cheol pulls your panties down then, groaning at the sight of your puffy pussy lips covered in your release. he can’t wait to devour you, but he needs one more thing before he can get started. he reaches for your hands and plants them in his hair, earning a confused noise from you. he looks up between your legs before he explains, “want you to pull my hair. i don’t know what i was thinking telling you not to touch me. don’t think i can keep going without your hands on me somehow.”

“needy,” you tease, and he hums as he lowers himself back down to your core.

“you’re dripping for me so who’s really the needy one?” he asks, swiping a finger through your folds before he pops it into his mouth, moaning at the taste. “ready baby?”

“please,” you whine, using your hands threaded through his hair to push his face into your core. his nose bumps at your clit and your hips rise farther into his touch. delicately, he swipes his tongue from your clit to your entrance, his own hips trying to find some sort of attention as he grinds into the bed. he goes top to bottom once again, this time dipping his tongue into your entrance. you moan his name breathlessly as you feel his tongue at your core, one of his hands coming up to play with your clit. “cheol...”

“mm?”

“too much,” you warn, loving the way his tongue is devouring you but worried that the extra attention to your clit might make you come too soon. “gonna come.”

“isn’t that the point?” cheol smiles at you evilly, his lips and chin coated in your arousal.

“i mean, yeah,” you squeak out as he dives back in. “b-but i should make you feel g-good. you-ah, you needed the help.”

“baby,” he says seriously, looking up at you once again. “please. i’m enjoying the hell out of myself. you can help me out soon, yeah?” you nod, and he’s satisfied. “alright then. tell me when you’re gonna come.”

he goes back to his original position, thumb carefully stroking your clit and sending electricity straight through you while his tongue teases your entrance, obscenely slurping at your lips as he plays with you like a toy. you’re so caught up in the way he’s making you feel you almost don’t notice the extra attention, cheol’s free hand slipping down to join his tongue at your entrance. he fucks into you with his tongue, a finger slowly joining him, and then he pulls his mouth from you completely as he goes back to stroking that one spot inside you. he backs off of your clit too, and you sigh thinking you’ve gotten a chance to catch your breath. that’s short lived, because you feel his tongue flicking over your clit instead, playing with it just the right way that you feel the coil in your stomach starting to come undone. he puckers his lips around your clit, sucking lightly, and your hands tighten in his hair, encouraging him to suck at your clit again, adding another finger while he’s at it. you’re coming again, cheol making out with your pussy as you come, chanting his name over and over again.

“fuck,” cheol groans, wiping your release from his face with the back of his hand. “you’re so warm baby. and sweet. can’t get enough of you.”

“fuck me then,” you say boldly, opening your legs wider to welcome his hips. cheol leans over you and grabs you by the knees, bringing them up to your chest.

“hold these outta the way for me princess,” he growls, watching the way your pussy clenches, waiting to take him. he pulls his boxers down, stroking himself as he asks, “shit, do you have a condom?” you nod. “where?”

“bedside table, in the drawer,” you answer simply. you watch as cheol hops out of bed and slides his boxers down his legs, biting your lip at the sight of his ass on display. he finds the condoms and chuckles, making you ask, “what’s so funny?”

“i genuinely don’t know if these will fit, honey,” he replies, shaking the foil packet above you.

“well can you try?” you ask suspiciously, looking down at his cock as he rolls the condom over it and your eyes bulge when you see it fully for the first time. “whoa.”

“whoa?” cheol laughs, sliding the condom down his length. “that’s not reassuring. you still want me to fuck you?”

“even more so,” you nod, opening your legs wider to accommodate cheol’s hips. he slots himself over you, slapping his cock over your pussy as your hips chase his. “stop teasing.”

“stop complaining,” he counters, sliding his cock up to rub your clit, earning a choked moan from you. “you sure i prepped you enough? need me to go back down there and check?”

“cheol,” you whine loudly, bucking your hips up so his tip will bump into your clit again. “fuck me please. wanna feel you.”

“since you said please,” he smiles, taking his cock by the base and guiding it into your core. he thrusts into you slowly, hissing at the feeling of your walls swallowing his cock. you’re left speechless, not used to someone so big. you catch yourself holding you breath and take a deep inhale, core flexing even more around cheol. “fuck, do that again.” you obey, clenching around him a few times before he finally tears his eyes away from where your bodies meet. “can i move?”

“please.”

“good girl,” he hisses, pulling out and thrusting all the way back in deeply. “taking me so good.”

“you feel amazing cheol,” you sigh. “never been fucked so deep.”

“good,” he says, holding onto your hips so he can angle you how he wants. “don’t want you to ever forget this. or me.”

“impossible,” you smile up at him, and he leans down to capture your lips. your kiss is as frantic as the feeling of cheol thrusting into you, lips breaking apart every so often from the force of his hips. you let go of your legs, letting them fall open around cheol so your hands can wrap around his broad shoulders, grabbing onto him so your lips stay locked. he moans into your mouth when he feels your nails grazing his skin, and his hands take up your place on your knees, holding your legs up and apart. he starts thrusting faster, getting you close to your third orgasm of the night. you still feel bad that he hasn’t come at all, so you clench around him to get him closer. his hips sputter and he stops, breath fanning over your face as he takes a second.

“fuck,” he groans, thrusting into you lazily as he speaks. “you have the tightest pussy. feels like you were made for me.”

“and what if i was?” you ask, your hands playing with the hair on the back of his head. cheol’s cheeks warm at your words, but his hips pick up speed again as he tries to convey just how he feels about you into the pleasure he wants you to feel. he wants it to be overwhelming, he wants it to be the only thing you can think about, so he dips his head down to your chest and captures a nipple in his mouth as his hips drill into you relentlessly. you’re back to chanting his name and he knows you’re close, letting go of one leg so he can trace circles over your clit again. your legs start shaking as he fucks you into your final release of the night, and you feel his thrusts falter as he spills into the condom.

you breathe heavily, trying to understand why your body suddenly feels like it’s on fire. in your post-orgasm bliss you missed cheol going to the bathroom to toss the condom and grab a wet washcloth to clean you up, but when he’s back in your bed you roll over to face him and you’re overcome with that fiery feeling again. you both lay there, staring at each other, and it hits you: that fiery feeling is love. you love cheol, you have for a while, but you’re sure of it now. you feel safe with him. you feel loved with him.

as these thoughts run through your head, cheol pulls you into his chest so your head is laying just above his heart. you listen as the rapid beating slows, comforted by his presence and warm all over. you look up, ready to tell him what you just discovered, but you let out a silent laugh when you see his pouty lips parted in the beginnings of a snore. you lean up to peck his perfect lips before settling back in his hold, content to sit with your revelation a little longer.

in the morning, you wake up before seungcheol. you’re usually a late sleeper, but you weren’t used to having someone in your bed and cheol’s vice grip on you all night has made you too hot. you try to unwrap yourself from his hold, but he just pulls you into him even tighter despite his eyes staying closed.

“cheol,” you whisper, and nothing. you brush some of his hair out of his hair out of his eyes and try again. “seungcheol.” still nothing. louder, you try one final time, “choi seungcheol, wake up.”

“don’t call me that,” he mumbles, pulling your head down to his chest so he can nuzzle into your hair. “go back to sleep darling.”

“no, i’m hot.”

“yeah you are.”

“cheol,” you groan, wiggling in his grasp. “let me go. i’m gonna make breakfast.”

“waffles?” he asks, peeking up at you hopefully.

“sure,” you nod, and he hesitantly lets you go. “don’t stick my finger in your mouth this time.”

“killjoy!” he shouts accusingly, watching happily as you get up and start pulling your clothes back on. “no naked breakfast either?”

“i can ask you to leave,” you threaten. “you live across the hall, i could push you there if i really wanted.”

“you wouldn’t dare,” he teases right back. “need my help in the kitchen?”

“eh, no,” you shrug, looking back at him as you pull on a sweater. “you stay here and get your beauty sleep.”

“do you mind if i use your shower?” he asks before you leave your room, and you tell him it’s ok. he slides out of bed and he catches you staring as you explain where the towels are.

“and i should have a new bottle of body wash under the sink,” you explain, “just in case the one in the shower is empty.”

“got it sweetcheeks,” cheol says as he meets you at the door, snaking a hand around your waist before kissing you.

“hey, that’s my name for you,” you pout. “you can’t take it.”

“i’ll come up with my own then,” he says as his hand slides down to squeeze your ass. he’s staring at you intently, making you blush, and you’re tempted to tell him what you were thinking about last night when he interrupts your thoughts. “can i say something?”

“sure,” you nod, and he wraps his arms around you completely.

“it was pretty nice waking up next to you,” he says as he drops his forehead to yours. “think we should do that more often.”

“but you snore,” you complain lightly, and he smiles.

“you’ll get over it.”

when cheol gets out of the shower, he goes back to your room to find the clothes he was wearing last night. he gets dressed quickly, eager to get back to you and this slice of domestic life. it really did something to cheol to have you wake up in his arms, and he can’t shake that feeling from his head. it also has him thinking about how he’s been trying to tell you he loves you for several days now, and he always backs out at the last minute. but today? today he’ll do it. he’ll ask you to dinner, he’ll take you to that fancy place you’ve been dying to try, and he’ll tell you surrounded by candles.

except, all of that goes out the window when he walks into your kitchen. his heart almost beats out of his chest at the sight of you dancing with fred, singing him a song off of that playlist cheol made for you so long ago. you look so happy, and beautiful, and just..perfect. cheol can’t help it, he coos and seemingly ruins the moment, pulling your attention and fred’s. he jumps down and meets cheol at the door for pets, but you invite him over, your arms wrapping around each other as soon as you’re close enough. you sway to the music together, gazing at each other like two idiots in love. because you are.

“baby?” you whisper, afraid that speaking too loud will ruin the moment.

“yeah?” cheol responds, worried by the look on your face. you study him for a second longer and decide to go for it.

“i think i’m in love with you.”

“you do?” cheol asks, a smile threatening to overtake his features.

“i do,” you nod. “i love you, cheol.”

“hm, how interesting,” cheol says, relishing in this moment, letting the words fall out of his mouth like he’s never been so excited to say something before. “because i’m in love with you too.”

“you love me?” you smile, your face lighting up at the relief you feel.

“i love you,” cheol confirms. “do you love me?”

“i love you,” you nod, cupping his face before giving him a kiss. you don’t pull away completely, but you lean back enough to whisper into his lips, “say it again.”

“i love you,” cheol repeats, punctuating his words with a kiss that makes you feel like you’re soaring. “i love you, and i plan on loving you for a very long time.”

#choi seungcheol #choi seungcheol fluff #choi seungcheol imagine #choi seungcheol one shot #choi seungcheol fic #choi seungcheol x reader #scoups x reader #scoups fluff #scoups imagine #scoups fic #scoups one shot #scoups smut #choi seungcheol smut #seventeen x reader #seventeen fic #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagine #seventeen smut #seventeen one shot

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sampsonstorm-critical · 9 months

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so Helluva Boss has pissed me off thouroughly as someone who is writting their own adult shows currently (in progress), and as a fan who was eagerly awaiting something, anything of importance to come of it. Whats funny is the show and its characters are right in my niche! Like no joke! Stolas and Blitzos relationship was based of something i love writting, (complicated relationships). But the characters are so painfully 2 dimentional it hurts. And not just Stolas and Blitzo, all of them. They all have good CONCEPTS, but the writers keep on dropping the ball in so many ways. Dont even get me started on Moxxy and Millys characters... oh my god.

So with that being said, i do like Helluva bosses base concept, a demon of some kind making his own buisness in hell and having to grapple with societies rules in hell (if only real rules existed in that universe, bad world building) BAD WORLD BUILDING INDEED. Lets talk about the lords of Hell, Asmodeus, Stolas, Bee, etc. All i can say is that they are 2 dimentional characatures, WHICH IS FINE, IF, IIFF, you are making a straight comedy like family guy. But Helluva Boss tries to tackles some pretty robust conflicts, conflicts im not sure the writers actually know how to handle in the public eye. But anyway, back to the lords of hell. Stolas is just a horny privlaged brittish guy cut out, Asmodeus is just ehh? nothing? so far anyway. He looks like a characature of an african american pimp...imo. Bee? shes just a "WOKE" party girl. again so far. Im not expecting much else to be honest.

And with THAT being said, I used to do a spyro rewrite that had taken the form of a new story with totally differnt characters and conflicts, that it become completly removed from the original inspirational content. So im doing that with Helluva Boss. I like the BASE CONCEPT. Im not partial to most of the characters or the paths the writters chose for them. Npt to mention the plot. HOH BOY the plot....

Any way, enough of my rant, theres plenty of Helluva rants on tumblr, yikes...lol But heres my Queen of Greed/ Glutany (i lump them together because theyre basically the same thing.) Ill be doing more Goisha Designs. Im not using the actual demons just two or three of the basic names like Asmodeus. Thats it. The Goisha name i use is a respelled version of the Ars Goitia.

This is Marionelle Goisha, the Queen of Greed!

#art #oc art #helluva boss rewrite #sort of #female #dragon #anthro #helluva boss #rewrite #helluva critique #helluva critical #helluva criticism #Life After Life

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maxwell-grant · 10 months

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I'm curious for your thoughts on Dan Hibiki

Dan is real special to me mainly because he was the first time I actually had fun cosplaying, in terms of putting the outfit together and attending the event. I was very young at the time but he was my second cosplay, with the first technically being Bison the year before but I barely remember going as Bison and the costume was basically rented whole, where as with Dan I actually had to take the time to put him together peacemeal.

Looking for shitty ponytails and testing out hair gels and glue to get that doofy spit curl right, ruining a judo gi by cutting the sleeves and dying it pink, painting the eyebrows and kanji in the back and practicing those dumb faces and animations of his, and I was really happy that day with the reception I got. Best part of that day by far was when they were doing this cosplay wrestling thing where people could sign up to enter the ring, and I got to really ham it up with the taunts and pratfalls and Dan-isms I memorized from heart (and I did play the fucker a lot in SSFIV, not even ironically, his Hurricane Kick and normals were really solid in IV) and just, one of the most fun times I ever had. I think of Dan pretty fondly for that if nothing else.

Although frankly I think I like him a little less nowadays than I used to, mainly because a lot of the other characters grew on me more or got better redesigns over the years where as Dan's just, Dan, and Dan's always gonna be Dan, no more no less, little room for improvement because he was just kinda perfect at what he set out to do from the go. I think some of that also has to do with the fact that he pulled Blanka big time into his joke character orbit for well over a decade and I'm not really a fan of that? Idk it definitely got better with 5 and especially 6, just for a while there Blanka's role as being primarily Dan and Sakura's dumb sidekick really sucked and made me resent them a little, still can't say I'm too big a fan even if he doesn't take a backseat to them as much anymore.

Dan becoming essentially one of the co-protagonists of Street Fighter over the years I think has a lot to do with the devs figuring out over the decades that there was a lot more they could do with the character, besides taking potshots at SNK (and honestly in that regard, I feel like Remy does it better, in spite or maybe because they don't play him as a joke on purpose). And I do think Dan has several legs up other fighting game joke characters and not just because he came first, not just because he's funny, but because he's filling in some important niches and they ground him in just enough legitimacy, from a lore and gameplay perspective, that he's worth bringing back. Dan is a joke, but he is also important, in his own way, he's an important character for Street Fighter to have.

If your setting and story are defined as a gathering of the greatest fighters and representatives of martial arts and countries the world over, you kinda do have to address what does a Bad Fighter, The Worst Fighter, representing The Worst Martial Arts, looks like, and basing it on "the guys that ripped us off" is the icing on the gag. Both Dan and Sakura were designed around parodies of the Art of Fighting characters, but they did the right call in assigning Yuri Sakazaki's childish braggart antics to Dan and letting Sakura be treated more seriously.

As much as I may complain that Dan dragged Blanka into the funnyman idiot orbit, Dan's existence prevents a lot of other characters from becoming parodies of themselves (more so than they became, at least), at minimum it definitely pumped the breaks on Blanka and Sakura from doing that because, no matter what, they'd always have to suck less than Dan, because nobody (cept maybe Rufus) is allowed to suck more than Dan (I feel like Sean's joke status was a total misfire, but more on him when I got to Sean).

Dan also works because he's got a legitimate backstory and motivation to be here, and to be the way he is: His father was the one to take out Sagat's eye and Sagat mauled him to death in the ring for it, and desperately driven to take revenge, he took up training under Ryu and Ken's master Gouken until being expelled when Gouken learned his true intentions (and the last time a man with power-hungry intentions was trained in Ansatsuken, Akuma happened), and so Dan had to fill out the rest of his training on his own, which is why his playstyle is the way it is, why he's like Ryu but bad. Dan fills out the other end of a scale occupied by the prior shotos, the worst practicioner there is, the lame and pathetic counterpart to Ryu and Ken opposite Akuma as the strongest. Akuma is Bad Ryu, and Dan is Bad Ryu but in a totally opposite sense. He had symmetry with the existing characters and his backstory was treated with as much seriousness as he can be allowed to have, which isn't much most of the time, but just enough.

Dan being a joke from an in-universe also wound up lending a lot of meaning to Sagat's character arc, because Dan became the catalyst for Sagat's redemption. Sagat was confronted by this pathetic fool wholly consumed by revenge and struggling fruitlessly to defeat a stronger martial artist, and he saw himself in Dan, himself and his obsession with Ryu and the lows he'd stooped to in order to achieve that revenge, and so he lets Dan win, giving Dan his one and only victory that we know of. Sagat, at his lowest point emotionally in the series, who is still supremely prideful and regal and very much not a nice man even as a hero.

The strongest man alive letting the weakest man beat him in a fight to save said man from ending up just like him. If it was against anyone else, it wouldn't be anywhere near as meaningful, but starting the supremely prideful and mighty Sagat's redemption arc by having him realize the futility of his vendetta and let himself get beaten by Dan of all people, The Final Boss letting The Joke Character humiliate him, I think was a very inspired choice.

Much as I enjoy his characterization, I do miss a little how Dan was depicted sometimes in the Alpha series, where he'd be treated with a little more seriousness. Like in the backstory blurb describing how Gou died and how Dan still wakes up with nightmares about it, or in Sakura Ganbaru where Dan's kind of a comedic straightman to Sakura and they take some steps to show that Dan IS knowledgeable and observant about ki and martial arts, and is even pretty good at beating average fighters in local circuits; it's just he's Dan, y'know, and all his hard work and self-mythologizing can't make up for his incomplete training, ego issues and him hanging around Sakura and Blanka, who are freakishly talented and either quickly surpass his teachings or, in Blanka's case, never actually need it.

I don't like the Udon comics very much but I do think they get this right, I like the emphasis they put on Dan having a genuinely impressive ability to take a beating and playing up Dan as a guy who gets up to all these offscreen adventures and picked up all these other skills to make up for his incomplete training (and him becoming Chairman of the CWA I thought was pretty inspired). It nicely reflects what the games have done with him, where he's always showing off new skills and moves added to his playstyle, his fireballs get a little farther and stronger every game (and he doesn't fling himself back when firing them anymore), some characters even comment on his progress and potential. Dan is a joke by World Warrior standards, but by regular person or fighter standards, he can be impressive.

And I think Dan also stuck around the way he did because there's a certain necessity for a character who pokes holes at the premise and mythology, not just a comic relief for levity sake but someone who's there to help the writing avoid the pitfalls of excessive self-seriousness. A character who's an absurd cartoon of a martial artist but not in the cool badass way all the other characters are absurd cartoons of martial artists, instead someone who's kinda lame and full of himself the way that, really, most martial artists, especially self-taught, can be. Everyone on Street Fighter, no matter how nice they are as people or what truly motivates them, is joining the tournament sure that their martial arts are the strongest and that they can and will make their way to the top by beating all the other inferior fighters standing in their way. Dan is like that, it's just that nobody takes him seriously for it. He may not even be the funniest joke character in fighting games, but nobody takes as incisive a punchline to the genre as Dan.

Dan, in his own right, does represent an important, maybe even the most important, facet of martial arts there is: the kind that everyone does when they start out or just don't bother growing as people or fighters. In my experience, myself very much not excluded, the gyms and dojos of the world are full of Dan Hibikis trying to be something more by mythologizing themselves into former losers turned invincible fighting machine blowhards the minute they learn how to kick above their heads or take a punch in the gut, whose training is perpetually incomplete, who think they get to teach others, and who go out there thinking they'll get to show off that invincibility any second now and that once everyone sees how badass these karate chops are, or how much ass I can kick when playing Smash Bros or KOF or Street Fighter, I'll show em all how cool I am, just you mess with me and I'll show you my flying kick WA-TCHAAA! *miss* HUP, WORYEEAAHH *crash*

#street fighter #replies tag #dan hibiki #dan #capcom #fighting games #fgc #sagat #blanka

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spectralsleuth · 7 months

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Saw you were lookin’ for some asks dont mind if I do 👀

To start off, I’m such a big fan of your writing! I genuinely look forward to every single update of yours and find myself rereading a lot of work in the downtime. You are such a good writer!! My never ending praises aside, here are some asks!

-You incorporate OC’s into your fics so seamlessly! They feel so natural in your fics that I legit get excited anytime they show up (srsly can’t wait for Lou Jitsu vs Hidden City, Sal’s my boy) lol how do you find the right balance when introducing and maintaining OC’s in your fics? I feel like that’s a particularly difficult balance beam to tread but you absolutely crush it.

-A previous ask you answered about Cass and Raph in LSoW got me thinking; how do the brothers handle humans crushing on them? Would they be receptive or dismissive? Do they develop crushes on humans- and if so, how is that perceived (by family or the general public)? The drama 👀

Last ask, I promise:

-I absolutely loved your crossover with Empathy is Learned! Got anymore crossovers planned in the future? Oooor if you could do a crossover with any other fic, which one(s) would it/they be??

Thanks for taking the time to even look at this! I hope these are some fun asks for ya :) I hope you have a lovely day!!

Omg thanks so much... I'm so happy people enjoy my writing it's crazy to me. I've written before, but it's always been just for myself so I never really know if it was good or not. (Years of text based DnD is to thank lol.) (Okay I got carried away answering this so sorry in advance.)

On OC's:

I got a lot of comments on LSoW from people who say "generally I don't like OC's BUT-" which is so funny and flattering. Because I am absolutely one of those people who don't care for OC's in fic.

Let me be clear: I LOVE that people write self indulgent self-insert of OC based fic, where they make the craziest off the wall story etc. Every time a fifteen year old writes a story about the cringiest Mary-sue/stu self insert, or non canon character, an angel gets its wings and I mean that one hundred percent. It makes me so happy I literally grin when I see it. I HOWEVER generally filter out the OC tags on AO3 when I'm looking for something to read myself.

So when I started posting LSoW I was expecting to get maybe like, 100 kudos MAX, maybe one comment or so. Which is great! I love writing niche fic just for me, and one other person who I assume I must be drift compatible with. I just could not figure out a way to write the story I wanted without a few OC's- Rise didn't have a big enough character catalog for me to draw from!

When I went to write the OC's, I knew that they had to have a very simple backstory, that was also very fleshed out. (Xander and Sal have full family, Dr. Heo and Carter have full jobs and history together, etc.) For another contradiction I wanted them to be interesting enough that someone reading wouldn't just be skipping ahead to when they weren't present, or just simply plowing through to get past the part where they were doing exposition. They had to be enjoyable! While also forwarding the story!

They also had to be distinct. Anyone who's ever watched a Whedon show or movie (Buffy, Firefly, Avengers-) knows what I'm talking about. It drives me nuts when the characters in a show are constantly the funniest person in the room, with the same personality traits, and the same girl boss/badass tendencies.

(Fandom challenge Impossible: Give a female fan favorite character another trait besides 'girlboss/mom/lesbian'. I'm dead serious.)

(Also a disclaimer: I LOVE making jokes and doing bits. I FANCY that I'm pretty funny, and I love making people laugh. But you can do that without making it a character personality trait. For example: Xander doesn't really crack any jokes in LSoW! He's just funny because we the reader know more about the situation and his thoughts than he does.)

But the BIGGEST THING I kept telling myself while writing the story, was DO NOT TAKE AWAY FROM THE TURTLES. Because the whole point of the story is the turtles! And Yoshi! The OC's are there to facilitate that. It's a hard balance to hit. I have all sorts of touchstones I keep in mind while I'm writing, and that's a big one.

(A SUPER good example of this done super well is @faiakishi 's Bella from Dawning of the Hour. She's a great OC that's super interesting, and a super important narrative element, but she never detracts from the main story. Big Bella fan here lmao. There's also the rest of the OC's/interpretations of franchise characters (TIGERCLAW), but Bella stands out as truly original.)

On the Turtles dating Humans:

(CW: CSA mention, SA mention, non graphic talk of minors dating etc.)

I actually talked a lot about this to @/tangledinink in feverish discord chats lmao.

When the boys were growing up they got a very detailed talk from both Yoshi, and their Doctors. ONE: Because nobody will know better than themselves if something was medically wrong with their bodies, TWO: The boys are all intersex (minus Mikey) and they had to understand that there was nothing wrong with them on TOP of the turtle thing, and THREE: Because Yoshi knew the boys would be getting a lot of attention, and you never know what kind of attention that form will take.

THE BEST WAY to protect children (any child) from being sexually assaulted or abused, is making sure they know what that abuse LOOKS LIKE. You don't have to make them terrified of being sexually assaulted, but them knowing how their body works, and also how to say NO and set boundaries, will combine to help make them safer.

Yoshi didn't know what would happen in the future and in a perfect world the boys would never leave his line of sight, but that's not always how things happen. (In a Short Season, Xander parroted Yoshi's instructions before going out to make sure the boys knew what to do if someone grabbed them (in any way) and it was to bite and be loud.) So the boys grew up knowing their bodies, knowing how to say 'no', and knowing that there was probably going to be people out there who would treat them as a novelty, and who wouldn't be appropriate to them as celebrities OR non-humans.

(Remember Emma Watson having to deal with that countdown to her turning 18? Or any other amount of child stars who had to deal with adults being predatory to them.)

But ALSO THIS IS HAMATO YOSHI. His sons are HANDSOME and HEARTBREAKERS! Leo has dated a lot but never anything seriously, and his inability to be intimate with anyone but family kind of puts a damper on any more permanent relationship. (He is gay.) He's the number one turtle people ask out because he's the most approachable. Because he made himself that way!

Donnie is in a sort of relationship with Kendra. (THIS WILL BE A FIC I'm working up to it lmao.) I have a head canon that Yokai and other empyrean based creatures are capable of having rivalry based relationships. IE Yoshi and Draxum in the canon show, the unhealthy dynamic between Yoshi and Big Mama, etc. (Caliginous relationship) Donnie is in a puppy love version of that with Kendra, while also lacking the context of yokai society to understand why he wants to punch her very badly, but also if anything happened to her he would die. They hate each others guts and also she was his first kiss. She is not a nice person I am not a Kendra apologist she's terrible I love her. (Donnie is bi!)

I know a lot of people head canon Mikey as ace, but he is a thirteen year old child you don't have to be head canoning him as anything. it is the very rare 13 year old who knows their orientation, and even if they DO I bet you donuts to dollars it will change eventually. This is normal and healthy. Mikey in LSoW has had puppy crushes on boys, girls, teachers, Violet, the mailman, Adam, and Rupert Swaggert. (Eugh eugh eugh.)

Raph is absolutely irresistible to the entire student body and is completely unaware of it. He's not stupid but he's face blind and bad at picking up subtext in conversations. He's gone to multiple people's houses and spent the whole day with them, without realizing they were trying to make it a date. (Raph is bi.)

All the boys have considered identifying as girls since their Dad is the martial arts equivalent of David Bowie and Fine With That, but have settled (for now) on being boys (age 10 the last time they considered this) because quote 'Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim are boys and they're awesome' unquote.

They don't get any fucking privacy for their relationships, and Leo in particular had a very bad experience that closed him off from dating big time. (Stamps 'THIS WILL BE A FIC' on this as well.) But also, as of the LSoW canon they are like, 12-14 and not doing a lot of dating ANYWAY. They are BABIES.

(Enter Casey Jones)

ON CROSSOVERS:

I have one crossover with my white whale of authors (you know who you are) I have pecked at with them that I think everyone will go fucking nuts for and love, but I won't mention it in case we can't get it off the ground! (A completely okay and normal thing to happen lmao.) I think that one will end up happening though because I am too excited about it, even if it's not any time soon.

I am super open to crossovers and cowriting, especially since writing with Li because I learned SO MUCH it was like speed running improvement.

The thing is it has to fit! There's some crossovers that wouldn't have a lot of substance because there's not really a lot to cover. When it came to EiL for example, there was PLENTY to cover and do, it was so fun! But other fics might not have a lot we could do for each other. (At least, not until I get some more world building done.)

That being said I do love talking crossovers with other creators it's so fun...

If you guys ever want to use my OC's feel free, just ask me in advance! I don't mind pings.

THESE ASKS ARE FUN THANKS FOR SENDING THEM I feel like you just threw a steak into my zoo exhibit. I am recharged and rejuvenated my crops are watered my skin is clear. This felt very pretentious to write I am mortified.

#ask #chealsieseysie #LSoW #rottmnt #tmnt #tmntau #IM SORRY ABOUT THE INFO DUMP #my fic #my writing

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venbetta · 3 months

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I took some time and actually watched Hazbin Hotel... I watched the pilot 6(?) years ago, and seeing the hellfire commentary from Twitter made me reluctant (rightfully so I guess).

But I say it was pretty alright. I feel like I have some complaints. I'm not a diehard fan at all, nor do I see myself in the fan base, but I feel like I can add my own input, I guess. These are my opinions and personal reasons, please be nice.

Spoilers/commentary beneath the cut (16+)

For starters, I think the concept is good, I like some of the designs for the characters, especially since they improved from the pilot.

I think I have at least 3-4 favorite characters, ranking them from my most fave:

Lucifer, Alastor, Vox, and Nifty.

... I didn't like anyone else. I'll probably explain that.

The only reason why I liked these four was mostly cuz they had some funny bits to them. I told my friend that Lucifer reminds me of Hunter from TOH??? And I said "Maybe it's cuz their both blonde and depressed." Lucifer just has that appeal for me. Vox didn't have much screentime, but I like his niche design and voice. Alastor is also cool. Nifty is just a cute gremlin that I fuck with honestly. Good for her. Everyone else I either didn't care much for or straight up didn't like...

Charlie annoyed me a lot, I know she's the MC, but I didn't like her. I get that she's supposed to be good, but her behavior in some scenes bothered me. Like in Ep4, I understand she was coming from a good place, but I couldn't help but feel agitated. I can't explain it. She has a savior complex which is her flaw, and maybe I just don't exactly understand it.

Of course, she's not the worst character (looks at Valentino and Adam), but she could improve. There were a few characters that I feel should've been written better, but the pacing made it hard.

I feel like the pacing was something I didn't like, but I can't blame it since it only has 8 episodes. The writer in me deflated seeing how fast things moved along, but I get why they sped it up towards the end. I wanna ramble about how the show could have gone if it had 24 episodes- but that feels like another post. Also, another thing that irked me were characters word vomiting.

Again if this show had more time to explore each individual character, it wouldn't have happened. I thought ep 4 with Angel Dust pouring his heart had good intentions to tell the audience that he's fucked up, it could've been built up more (if there were more episodes) until he finally blew up, similar with Husk. It's different because it's an animation, but you can still show and not tell visually about someone struggling. That's just me.

The excessive swearing isn't funny, I didn't find myself laughing that much except for Ep 8: Adam telling Lute to chill the fuck out, Alastor's mic breaking, and Lucifer saying "I'm gonna fuck you!" are the only bits I found funny. I've laughed at dumber things (my sense of humor is garbage, I'll laugh at a waffle falling over), but I didn't find most of the jokes funny.

I knew it was a musical, and I love musicals, but there weren't many songs I vibed with. Maybe a few, but not a lot. I'm a music person, and the songs just didn't feel right? Like the lyrics either felt awkward or general direction of the song didn't feel cohesive. I think I only like 4 songs in total.

The VAs were great, I recognized a lot of them, and I enjoyed their performances. They all fit their characters.

The animation was good for what was originally an indie project, and I hope the animators/artists were properly compensated. I know there was a lot of shit going on about Vivi allegedly not paying them but regardless, they did amazing.

I'm gonna be serious and say I feel like I didn't want to give HH a chance because I just didn't exactly care about it. My friends watched it. I saw Twitter's scolding opinions and hottakes on it, and I didn't want to hate watch it. But I was still curious. While I wasn't laughing through most of it, I think it's good. There's a lot that I'm trying not to say or get into because that would derail my commentary and make it about other discussions I'm not fully knowledgeable about...

I sailed the seven seas to watch this show, and I say it was sort of worth it. Again, I'm not a crazy fan, but anyone that likes it, good for you.

#PLEASE IM JUST RAMBLING #THESE ARE MY OPINIONS DONT KILL ME #hazbin hotel #commentary #ven speaks #text post

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twothpaste · 5 days

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I saw this post you made https://www.tumblr.com/twothpaste/748684553658515456?source=share and it reminded me of your Intermission AU fic, Hatchback, where the Chosen 4 are basically on a road trip! IIRC there's a flash forward to the future where Paula is a teacher, and she's called "Mrs. Jones" that would imply she's married. Who's she married to? And what happened with her family after she pursued education, especially considering how her mother was heavily against it? And how are the rest of the Intermission AU cast doing in the future?

Aw jeez, that's a lot of big questions! How 'bout I be a little silly and answer them in reverse order 🤸‍♂️

Future Lucas & Claus do wildlife rehab work together. If I think too hard about them tending gently to sick baby deer & mending birds with busted wings, I get teary-eyed sappy and have to sit down. Kuma refuses to settle into any particular career, genuinely happier hopping between employment and doing odd jobs she calls "freelance work". She marries a lady named Ash - based on a kinda communal headcanon about Kuma dating one of the Tittiboo waitresses - I swear I'll draw her someday. Duster becomes increasingly eccentric over time, a gracelessly aging Z-list rockstar.

Future Ness is a civil engineer, doing his small part to try and make suburbia a less hellish place to live, for his boring little family & everyone else besides. Paula starts her teaching career as a college adjunct, intending to work her way toward tenure, but derails into teaching high school for a while due to some circumstance or other. Though teaching niche college courses was always her dream, she unexpectedly realizes there's a lot of good she can do for high school kids, so she sticks with it much longer than she'd planned. By the time she does eventually get back around to becoming a college professor, she's probably in her 40's or 50's. Jeff designs rockets & satellites for the European Space Agency, while Tony jogs their jack russell terrier 5 miles a day and engages in cartoonishly daring news reporting work. Poo goes on wild anthropological surveys all around the world, and never gets into politics (much to his family's immense displeasure, but they can deal).

Future Porky probably never gets better ❤️. Picky comes out as a trans woman in her mid 20s. Tracy supports her all the way. Flint and Lighter are off having an Old Men With Pickup Trucks Slow Burn Friends To Lovers Redneck Romance in their 60s, but I'll never write it, so you'll have to fill in the blanks yourself.

I have not resolved the Paula's Mom Plotline in my head yet. As much as I'd like for her mom to chill the fuck out and let Paula be Paula, I think the hard lesson of coming to terms with a parent's faults is probably more the direction it's headed in. There's also the mess of like? Her dad supports his daughter despite everything, but he's too spineless to challenge his wife over it, and he's also dealing with some kinda debilitating illness?? The conflict might come to a head during her senior year. I've got a Paula fic idea floating around on my backburner, so I'll probably sort it out sooner than later. Regardless, our gal's gonna set firm boundaries and live her life.

As for "who is Paula married to," there is actually a possible or probable answer. The catch is: absolutely none of y'all are gonna like it ☺️. As some of you may have gathered, my funny Mother College AU is very and truly crossed over with [ my Dana's ] funny Yugioh College AU. The amount of interconnected nonsense going on offscreen would make your head spin, and this happens to be one of our silliest interconnected nonsenses.

There's this kid from Zexal named Dumon, he's canonically a tragic historical figure and a horse enthusiast and also an alien for a while, don't worry about it. Dana's college Dumon is a nerdy little butch lesbian (I mean, [ look at him ]), who - like Paula - also spends about 90% of his time at the campus library. It started as a joke <- fatal last words. They share a love of pretentious literary analysis and medieval history and quiet noontime study sessions spent over expensive lattes. Dumon's still a bit shy of her noisy bunch o' D&D friends, but maybe they'll break the ice one of these days. Paula's mom keeps forgetting his name. Paula keeps having to firmly remind her he's from Utah, not Arkansas. And that yes lesbians can use he/him pronouns, they've been doing it for decades, gosh Mom can you get with the program already.

Anyways, if things keep going the direction they're headed, my Paula might very well be marrying a Yugioh character. Thanks for asking, anon! ^_^

#long #ask tag #intermission au

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sarcasticbeanie · 3 months

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odysseus! for the send me a character thingy :3

First Impression I read about odysseus first in my Chinese textbook as a wee child of like. 10? Or something? It was the "Nobody" story, and I thought nothing of it because it was. You know. For a class. I did think it was a funny story though, and I suppose my first impression would be "classic main character from mythology", and nothing else.

Impression now He's a war criminal. He's my babygirl. He's cruel and wily. He's my poor little meow meow. He would kill with no hesitation and excels at war. He's a draft dodger and longs for home. He's the Sacker of Cities. He's the Father of Telemachus. He's filled with hubris and had a solid hand in his own downfall. He's paid his price and he just wants to go back home. I don't know man I'm squeezing him and throwing him off a cliff but I'm also tucking him into bed in Ithaca. u get me?

Favorite moment Many... but I love the part where he shot an arrow through the axe heads and did the dramatic reveal. it is I, odysseus. you've taken my home, prepare to die. etc etc. There's a visceral tonal shift when war and bloodshed suddenly seep through the pages after dozens of pages with no active warfare and not much death ... it's good stuff. I liked it.

Idea for a story Concocting a sci-fi fantasy AU for the Iliad and Odyssey in my brain, in which there are spaceships and magic and godly-AI-run companies and cyborgs and impenetrable planets made of metal and firewalls. Demigods are cyborgs whose cybernetic enhancements come from one or more godly-AI-ran companies. Ody's skills now include hacking and programming, and the Greeks finally won by attaching a "trojan horse" to their peace treaty. Calypso is a deathly intelligent and powerful space mob boss whose henchmen are all androids, and she wishes to meet someone who matches her own intellect. Circe runs an exotic space casino with replicas of long-since extinct creatures, with only magic-users as employees. Polyphemus is a heavily guarded surveillance station with hidden company secrets from Poseidon(TM) which Ody and co. stole, leading to tragedy. has this been done? this has probably been done. but I'm basing it off my own OC sci-fi universe so this is. so so niche. and only for me.

Unpopular opinion I don't know why there's a sudden uptick in the need for characters to be morally pure and good, and I think the debate surrounding "whether Ody cheated" is. odd? especially since there's so much vitriol against the guy for cheating? It may just be me but I don't really get it,, I wouldn't have cared even if he cheated. Listen. Listen. There's no moral high ground in Greek myths. They're all war criminals and that's fun for me.

Favourite relationship 10 fics on ao3 and it's odydiopen. i love poly relationships. even if they have no basis in canon at all. but neither did telegony and it's still considered to be part of the epic cycle, now is it? but also: ody & telemachus. your son is grown, and you have never even seen him as a child. your son is grown, and he does not even know your face. are you still a father? is he still your son? you've missed every part of his life and then some, and now he is a man grown, with his mouth twisted in his mother's wry smile - though he has your hair and eyes, you cannot see yourself in the tilt of his head, or the gentle crinkle in his brows. but now there's time to learn of him, now there's time to hold him in your arms - there is time, you are home, and that is what's important.

Favourite headcanon He would've loved the GPS. RIP my guy. All jokes aside I don't think I have one? Feel free to tell me any of yours though. Please.

#asks #odysseus #the odyssey

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breadknight-likes-things · 4 months

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Bread's Game Of The Year #2: Resident Evil 4

What do I even say about Resident Evil 4 Remake? The fact RE4 isn't my number one game this year is nothing short or a miracle of quality for the #1 game, but that's not what we're talking about right now. Right now we're talking about Capcom pulling off the gaming equivalent of the called shot home run. Pointing directly at a level of quality I feel most thought was unattainable, and slamming the final product out of the park to such a degree that no remake may ever feel this way ever again. Capcom didn't have to do much to make the RE4 remake a good product. Hell, they didn't have to do much to make it a great product. Making a gussied up remake of the game that transformed action shooters way back in 2005 was probably enough to garner high reviews and player goodwill. Capcom didn't do that. Capcom went deep into the bones of RE4, the very core of that experience, and built from the ground up, a new experience, based on the one we all love, that twists, turns and polishes every little possible thing you could imagine. The basic story, of course remains the same. The core gameplay is very similar to what we've all grown accustomed to, albeit morphed and changed in key areas to update the game to modern sensibilities while losing nothing of the original charm. Even the characters are largely similar, but in this one lies I think one of the most important triumphs. The number one thing I was worried this remake would forget, is how funny Resident Evil 4 is, it didn't. Sure, things are indeed a little darker, the times are different, intentional cheese is not quite as welcome. Every character in this game is so damn charming, though. Leon is still a hyper competent super-spy dork who can't tell a good joke to save his life. Ashley has been expanded upon and is no longer a shrieking damsel in distress, but the original fish out of water energy she always had remains and works wonders in the new tone, her plucky energy a highlight of the whole story. Luis, with a new found obsession with Don Quixote, gets the best update of them all. Featuring a much clearer character arc, genuine pathos, and still keeping his cigarette smoking, dirt covered, cagey information doling charm. I say all of this before I even get into the core of the gameplay loop, which is immaculate. RE4 Remake may have an entirely different feel to the general gameplay, much weightier and with better movement options, but it fits like a glove. Even if you've never played this remake, if you've played the original game even once, this remake has a remarkable ability to feel like you've just stepped back into home after years away. Getting that first stagger headshot and seeing Leon give a good weighty kick to a Gando is an unbeatable goofball feeling in gaming, I cannot stress how incredible an experience Resident Evil 4 Remake is. Hell, I didn't even get into Separate Ways, probably the best DLC of the year. That anything beats this out for my GOTY is a testament to the astounding quality of video games we got this year, but if you know me, and the very specific niche of thing I am obsessed with, you probably already know what that'll be.

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lovelylotusf1 · 4 months

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Got tagged by two lovely people @borntogayz and @wisteria-wisteria!

star sign: Sagittarius! Born in December so I have to wait veeery long to celebrate stuff but then I can have two celebrations almost back to back with christmas coming up.

favorite holiday: German/Austrian carnival/Fasching! It's the time before the last 40 days before Easter holidays. There are several comedy shows to watch both live and on TV, everyone dresses up and it's generally a time to joke around!

last meal: made by my awesome grandma: spinach with potatoes, fried eggs and sausages.

current favorite musician: I like to listen to comedy music a lot and it's pretty much the only thing I listen to (that's not video game music). So I'd have to go with Tom Cardy.

last song listened to: "Wigglytuffs Guild" from the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon - Explorers of Sky soundtrack! It's my alarm :D

last movie watched: Frozen 2 lol. It played on TV before Christmas.

last tv show watched: Honestly don't know, I haven't really watched any shows recently. Either Good Omens season 2 when it came out or The Dragon Prince.

last book/fic finished:

Book: Scum Villain's Self Saving System Volume 4. I was deep into the danmei trenches before f1.

Fic: don't take too much (off of me) by the amazing @wisteria-wisteria! Highly recommend, it's short, funny and a perfect mix of angsty pining and fluff.

last book/fic abandoned:

Book: Probably a Warrior Cats book. Two years ago I had a sudden spike in interest in reliving this part of my childhood, bought a lot of the books I had missing and stopped reading in the middle of... season 3 I think?

Fic: "Entirely out of spite" by bgtea. I loved it but I fell out of the Genshin Impact fandom a while ago.

currently reading: Too many things open in my tabs to say exactly.

last thing researched for writing/art/hyperfixation: Lots of things for my planned Lestappen AU. You can probably guess what it is based on the google history:

Dutch sweets

Ontbijtkoek recipe

Daily schedule of a baker

When do shops open in monaco

Rent prices in Monaco

favorite online fandom memory: I've only been active in fandom since I started writing for f1! The amazing people I met through F1blr and got to chat with will be my most treasured fandom memory for sure!!

favorite old fandom you wish would drag you back in/have a resurgence: I'm content with being where I am right now.

favorite thing you enjoy that never had an active or big fandom, but you wish it did: The Pokemon Mystery Dungeon series have a pretty active fandom but not a very big one (I think). It's my favourite game series of all time so I think it deserves a big fandom.

tempting project you don't have time for: Sooo many AU ideas. I have sunk my teeth into two, one interesting one and a rather niche one, which I will both finish someday, but the poor rest will probably end up abandoned :(

don't really know who has already done this, so feel free to ignore the tag!

I'm tagging @laura1633 @ravenrage27 and @charlclerc ! <3

#tag game #about me

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thelastonewastaken · 4 months

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On Comedy and Comedians

In recent years, there's been a lot of debate about comedy and comedians, and about whether specific comedians are funny. So I thought I'd put some of my thoughts down, these are of course only my subjective opinions. I'm sure there must be a well-researched book on this matter.

Comedy is a performing art

It's very audience-based, and comedians learn how to work their audience: selecting the right jokes, presenting them in the right order, using specific inflections to deliver the punchline etc. It's no wonder that when on tour, comedians add a few jokes to their routine that are about the specific location they're in. (For example, watch Katt Williams' opening monologue at a show in Jacksonville.)

So if you listen to a comedian and don't think they're particularly funny, the first question you should ask yourself is whether you're a part of the audience they're speaking to. There are a wide range of comics doing very different types of comedy: Jerry Seinfeld does observational, everyday humour; Sarah Silverman likes to shock and takes pauses for effect; Michelle Wolf does conversational, quick-paced bites; Dave Chapelle does bit-wise comedy where you have to remember the full set; Aries Spears is great at mimicry; Jeff Ross is great at roasts; the list goes on...

In addition, comics build on the artistry of others: Seinfeld developed his niche based on Cosby, Eddie Murphy took some bits from Richard Pryor. So if you do not like one comic, there are many more you could like. One might simply not be for you, it doesn't mean they are not funny.

Jokes can be mean

The only requirement for a joke is to be funny, it might be mean, maybe tone-deaf, maybe even ignorant, but it should be funny. It might be funny in ways people are ashamed to admit, but that's what comics play on - that's their entire reason for existing.

Comics do not do shows to make people mad. It's counter-intuitive for a comic to try to displease their audience, it makes no sense on their part. They gain absolutely nothing from doing that, and they've thought about their jokes long before they say it. So trust me, they're not trying to be mean when they say something mean, they're being funny.

I agree that there's a thin line though. It gets mean when they continuously punch down on the same person, but typically comics direct a one or two jokes at a person then move on. So it's always good to think about intent. For example, Chris Rock's GI Jane joke at the Oscars was funny and relevant. It was a joke about a movie to an audience celebrating film and it was delivered perfectly.

No subject is off limits

Off-limit subjects are antithetical to comedy as an art form. You can not have a subject that people are afraid to make jokes about. It defeats the whole purpose of comedy. If you're offended by a joke because it's insensitive to something you hold dear, it's important to consider if it could be funny to someone who has no idea how dear you hold the subject matter.

You might also want to think about why you're very offended by it, most times it has nothing to do with the comedian. And I say this as a Nigerian (scams are a popular joke) and a Catholic (take your pick) who stutters (I mean...).

You have to evaluate a comic's full set

Long before comics record their specials that appear on Netflix or HBO, they go on tour. They test each joke at comedy clubs and nights they MC, they adjust and fine-tune each joke, gauging the laughs they get and how people respond to them.

When they record their specials, the jokes are ready. They know how to deliver them, when to back off, and when to double down. They also know how the audience will respond. So when evaluating a special, you can't take one joke and analyze it, you have to analyze the whole body of work. You shouldn't see a clip online and judge it, it's a bit like listening to only one song off a musician's album and passing judgement on it. You're unlikely to know what they were trying to do.

So, how do you know a joke is funny?

Comics usually play up a scene from reality and deconstruct it. It might be something they've witnessed or something imagined, they might focus on the scene's actors, the characters behind the scene, or the scene itself. They might ponder on what the outcomes of the scene were or should've been.

Then, they have to select an aspect of the scene for comedic rendering. To do this, they employ some language devices: analogy, onomatopoeia, symbolism, etc, as well as some elocution strategies. They may enlist some audience participation.

The only test for whether a joke is funny is whether the devices employed fit the aspect of the scene selected. And it's a valence test, i.e., how funny was it, as opposed to a content test, i.e., was it funny or not. The difference between a published comic and your funny friend is that the former's jokes are typically of high valence and the latter's jokes are of low valence. Whether a joke needs to be explained has no impact on whether it's funny or not, but typically the higher the valence, the less explanation is needed.

Finally,

There is the chance that you're listening to someone who just isn't funny, but unless you're in a comedy club that takes on unknown comics still trying to hone their craft, it's very unlikely.

#comedy #comedians

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 days

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Very pleased to see that Dominic Maxwell at The Times has written an article about how Jerry Seinfeld is correct when he says PC culture has ruined comedy (I won't link to it because fuck that guy, but I guess in the interest of being fair to him, I will clarify that he did not specifically endorse Seinfeld's more outlandish claims about "the extreme left" taking over, but Maxwell did agree with the idea that comedies that appeal to "a niche" are less funny than comedies that appeal to "everyone" (everyone who saw themselves in the broad comedies where only a few demographics were represented), and agreeing with that is enough to make him a dick). He's my least favourite comedy reviewer (of the ones I actually read sometimes). I first took against him over the review of Andy Zaltzman's stand-up show from just after John Oliver left The Bugle, calling Andy a "left behind sidekick" and spending a bunch of the review explaining how Andy could never have the successful TV career that John did because he's not telegenic enough, even though it was a review about Andy solo stand-up show that had nothing to do with either John Oliver or TV. Since then I've gone to his page occasionally to read his recent reviews, and sometimes he comes up when I search old reviews of something, and I almost always disagree with him, even if it's just in a little way. So I'm pleased to have a legitimate moral reason to dislike that guy now, rather than just thinking he's incorrect about comedy and shouldn't have been so mean to Andy Zaltzman. Turns out the guy who writes for The Times is a dick, who would have thought?

Jerry Seinfeld specifically cited Cheers and M*A*S*H in his comments. I grew up watching Cheers, M*A*S*H, and Seinfeld nearly every morning for years. Not because they were on TV, but my parents had the DVD boxsets and I watched every episode until I had them memorized. I enjoyed them all, but Cheers and M*A*S*H significantly more so than Seinfeld.

It's such an odd idea to me that anyone thinks that's where comedy should have stopped. I was obsessed with them, but I was about 10. I re-watch them occasionally now (Cheers and M*A*S*H, not Seinfeld) and they make me laugh, but there is just nothing in those shows that makes me think you couldn't make that today, or that no one's making anything as funny as that today. The joke rate is no higher than the joke rate in plenty of more modern sitcoms. The jokes are not better and are in some ways worse, than what I see in more modern sitcoms. I watch them with a bit of nostalgia but even if we do assume that nothing in comedy should matter at all besides laughs per minute, they don't objectively stand out as better than modern shows. They look like prototypes for modern shows.

I'm talking about Cheers more than M*A*S*H, I guess - M*A*S*H, more than Cheers, had some unique stuff going on in it that I haven't seen since. But the unique stuff was mainly based on what they did with characters and plot and, crucially, setting. If you judge a comedy only on laugh rate and consider nothing else, M*A*S*H doesn't stand out significantly more than comparably good comedies from other eras either.

I loved Cheers, but obviously lots of things are as funny as Cheers. What an odd thing to say, to suggest otherwise. This was a bit of a tangent as I was not planning to dignify Jerry Seinfeld's attention-grabbing comments by responding to them (and I wish the people with actual platforms would do the same because then maybe people would give up on trying for attention that way, though I have to admit Chortle's collection of headlines responding to him the other day was funny), the point of this post was just to say I'm glad I can now justify writing off Dominic Maxwell as a dick. Fuck that guy.

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self-loving-vampire · 10 months

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You might be interested to know that strategy games like Civilization actually ARE heavily stereotyped as right wing and male in some circles. These are niche parts of the playerbases, but they are real.

They are separate groups of people who hate each other, however. Right wing people like the twitter jerk think as you saw, that the stereotype is real and good. Other conservatives think all video games are bad, so the stereotype is also real. Conservative feminists think it is real because all video games are for men. Plenty of the fandoms of the games think the stereotypes are funny, and plenty of the playerbases think those who find it funny are literally Hitler.

Joking about Gandhi with nukes is the same as strangling babies in real life, and that's why it's based and the Jews want to take your games away, but they are right to do so because the games are brainwashing naturally violent men into thinking etc etc etc etc. It's all the same sort of culture war stuff.

Instead of first person shooters training children to murder, strategy games train them to oppress populations (and that is bad or good depending on your politics).

I had heard about the stereotype, what confused me is what point the twitter person is trying to make by it exactly.

Like, do they really think video games are an adequate replacement for a history education?

Do they think actual wars, even ancient ones, worked anything like that?

Do they think the armchair generals who played a lot of Total War are some kind of effective force for gaining power or something?

There's just a ton of really embarrassing, parody-like assumptions baked into that whole thing to the point where I'm not even sure what it's trying to imply.

The leaps of logic that person seemed to be making don't lead to anything that makes sense to me, so I figured it was maybe some kind of satire, or that there's something I wasn't getting. I do think it's probably a bit or something.

#long post

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