before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
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PowerPoint night with the genshin cast ✨
NO BC I SAW THIS IN MY INBOX AND I WAS FROTHING AT THE MOUTH WITH TOO MANY IDEASSS, the energy is just this:
You introduce the wonderful concept of powerpoints, then a powerpoint night and you should expect absolute chaos
Mondstadt over here like,
"Why I Deserve Wine:
I am a god
I am YOUR god, give me offerings duh
(insert conclusion here)"
by Venti, he didn't even both filling out some slides, and they're all just plain text with maybe a nice selfie of himself on the first slide lmao
STOP, DILUC'S POWERPOINT BEING A 40 SLIDE PRESENTATION RESPONSE TO VENTI'S AHALKSJ
or better yet, Creator!You version:
"An Explanation of Why the One Above Us All Would Enjoy Living in Liyue During Their Stay Here" by Zhongli, which takes approx. 4+ hours to get thru, and its his case for why u should stay in Liyue Harbor - half the ppl there are actually paying attention and the other half are fast asleep (u included)
Meanwhile Yae Miko trying to stir the pot like, "Which Vision-User, God, or Nation is Our Ruler's Favorite" 💀
Also another presentation that would make several ppl give response presentations and it just becomes: HER SISTER WAS A WITCH BRO = THE CREATOR LIKES SUMERU MORE BRO
CRYING- people like Zhongli, Albedo, Alhaitham, Xingqiu, Neuvillette, Xiao, Sucrose, Jean, Ei/Raiden Shogun, Faruzan all misunderstanding and thinking u actually want a real presentation from them 😭😭
ngl all the Sumeru/Akademiya/Fontaine characters have probably gotten somewhat close to doing some kind of equivalent to this, mostly bc ppl will debate abt the stupidest stuff over there so they get it, wonder if they made drinking games out of it lol
(first question from Sumeru characters is "what is powerpoint night, and why has Alhaitham probably already won it")
pls im so braindead rn there are ENDLESS possibilities for this, if anyone has more I am LISTENING!!!
Safe Travel 0rah,
💀♒
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♡the beloveds♡
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@kiyomi-uchiha777
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Anyways i also think that Chuuya SHOULD NOT be the Port Mafia boss to be totally honest witchu. If his entire experience with the Sheep, and the way he cracked under pressure as the interim leader during cannibalism, and like, THE BEAST EPILOGUE, had anything to say it's that Chuuya's not fit to be the leader of an organization such as that.
Bc Chuuya's good at adapting, he's good at spur of the moment decisions. He's good with battle tactics. We see his actual leadership abilities shine when he's commanding the mafia troops to protect the city during the guild arc. In cannibalism, his plan to rush the ADA with a full frontal attack was a SOLID idea. But he loses his advantage as soon as he hesitates and opens the table for negotiation instead.
BECAUSE Chuuya's not good at playing the long game like Mori or Dazai. He's reactionary and it's his nature to get overwhelmed by his emotions. He takes on too much responsibility but loses focus due to personal reasons. That what happens in 15 where he blows off the Sheep to go on a life changing field trip with Dazai. That's why he was taken out of the picture so easily to go on a life changing field trip with Ranpo in Cannibalism. (Damn maybe this is why he's on a life changing field trip with Fyodor as a vampire currently).
Essentially even though Asagiri has been really tying Chuuya's character with the themes of leadership, we've mostly been shown why he wouldn't be a good fit. Either this plot point will trend towards Chuuya actually learning how to be a good leader OR he won't end up as one. IN ANY CASE what we know abt Chuuya makes me really think that being the Port Mafia's boss is a terrible idea. He's not fit for the role and frankly, I think he'd hate it.
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