#this is also my first time posting an edit since tumblr got rid of the legacy editor | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aceofwhump · 1 year

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Question is the legacy editor any good? I've never used it because I'm paranoid about it messing my posts up lmao but I'm curious

The short answer is yes. Legacy editor, the older way tumblr did posting, is in my opinion, the superior editor. I love the legacy editor. A lot. It is definitely superior and I'm sad staff has decided to slowly get rid of it.

However! With that said I've been pretty much exclusively using the beta post editor for the last like year when staff announced that they'd be eliminating the legacy editor eventually so I thought it'd be a good idea to get used to the beta editor. Which I suppose I did. I've gotten used to it and don't use legacy much at all anymore. I also wanted to use it because I got really tired of not being able to edit in mobile the posts I made on web using the legacy editor. With the beta editor you can edit across platforms which is soooo nice. (although it appears that in one of the apps many updates I can now edit a gifset I made today via legacy editor but not the posts I've made in the past using the legacy editor so who knows what's going with that).

But there's a lot of annoying things about the new beta editor that make it inferior to the legacy editor and I'm praying that staff will improve it. For starters, and probably my biggest complaint, is how awful it is to upload and rearrange images. It's so much easier in legacy editor to move images around. In beta the page moves when you start to move the image and it drives me CRAZY!!! I always end up putting the image in the wrong place because the page won't stop moving! Legacy is wonderful to arrange images. I do think the upload is slightly better in beta purely because it uploads multiple images in the order I select them where the legacy just puts them in whatever order it wants to and I have to remember what order I wanted my gifs in.

Legacy is also better because it actually differentiates between an image post and a text post. With the beta editor everything is technically a test post. So my gifsets are not considered an "image post". Some people have noted that the beta, since it's not an image post, it resizes the images a little and sometimes decreases the quality of the gif by doing that. I haven't really noticed that myself with my own gifs but doesn't mean it isnt happening.

The legacy editor also allows me to upload my gifs without stupid errors for no reason. Lately any time I upload more than 6 gifs at once I get an error message and have to upload them one by one. Its not because of size because they're always under 7mbs so I don't know why I can't upload them all at once. I hate it actually. And sometimes my gif will be under 10mbs (like 9.7mbs) and it'll tell me that the gif is too big. Excuse me tumblr but 9.7 is smaller than 10! I never had this problem in legacy.

The legacy editor is also better when it comes to using html, inserting links as text and not the stupid thing beta does where you paste the link and it becomes that stupid post preview thing that I hate, and oh my god is it awful for text blocks! When it first came out you couldnt select multiple texts blocks at all. You can now but it isn't the easiest. And it like expands when you do and makes it weird. Idk it's hard to describe. In legacy you can just...select all the text with no problems. Text blocks are treated like individual sections in the beta and make editing a major pain in the ass.

I also don't like thst apparently new xkit won't work in beta and you have to use xkit rewritten because fuck I don't want to learn how to use that one when I've been using new xkit for years but I guess I'm gonna have to now. I haven't been having any problems with xkit yet but who knows....

So yeah I think overall legacy is better. Beta Post Editor has some good things (I like the increased image upload limit, the editing tags is good) about it but there's so many problems. Unfortunately we're stuck with it so I've been sticking to using it exclusively to make the transition easier on myself. I do suggest becoming used to how it works and to just continue to provide feedback to staff about features we dislike or bugs we come across. Hopefully they'll listen and improve it.

#this got long #i'm so sorry #apparently i have thoughts about this whole legacy vs beta post editor thing going on right now #I've got to do a feedback write up to sent to tumblr #hopefully they can continue to edit and improve the beta post editor to make it more like the legacy editor #especially for us making gifsets #mod post #mod replies #ask #anon

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tiny-tigers · 1 year

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It's time for a little year-end review, folks.

Well, I don't know if you feel the same as I do, but this end of year I'm clearly tired.

it has been a year full of both negative and positive emotions.

the negatives now : I don't really want to come back to that but the failure that was the discord, the ups and downs (+health issues I had), my growing disinterest for this season, the friends we lost along the way, the disillusionments concerning the environment or the players…

Let's start with some positives: we reached new levels of followers, I got to see Jack twice this year, I made a card game with the help of the lovely @oscar-piastri, I made two wonderful new friends @saintsnlancs and @koloha12 (shout out to them to illuminate this end of a dark year)

I must admit I also induced a change and turnover regarding how I address the content on Tumblr and I want to get back to something else. I realize (perhaps too late) that I have worsened my consumption of social media and that it makes me unhappy.

It's my fault for immersing myself entirely in their world, wanting to follow everything, to know everything. I've developed a real FOMO about player content and don't like it at all. I find it unhealthy. It's not directly related to you because you don't give me any injunction to produce content even when I feel that for the excellent functioning of the blog I "owe" it to you somehow. Nevertheless, I am out there every day spending time gathering information and images for you, for me, using up precious time and wanting to gather as much content as possible from each day. It's tiring.

The gist is that I don't recognize myself anymore in the content I publish. At first it was all fun, I felt freer to make a few comments and I was slowly removing that mental barrier of being a serious blog since I basically only share photos with very few people here. That's still the case, still a small audience and a pretty healthy platform with good exchanges but I want to be proud of the research work I sometimes do and I'm not at the moment. I never share the address of this blog with anyone. I want that to change. I want to be able to make constructed articles, have debates with you and way less shitposting.

Because every day I am solicited with a lot of information to sort and compile, to have access sometimes to only one image I am confronted with images that sometimes I do not want to see or be influenced by. You have no idea how many half naked insta-girls or boys I see each day without really asking for it and all the content I sometimes browse through.

Do I like it? Not really. Before this brush-off, the whole scavenging thing, I felt like a little detective following their tracks like little breadcrumbs, but now do I really want to know where their brush has been and in which paint pot? It may make them more human but above all, it makes them very superficial and far from the idyllic image I had of them quite frankly it makes me sad. you're going to tell me I looked for it and I found it, after all what did you expected? Yeah, what did I expected, I wonder too.

I don't know yet who would be interested because I don't have any legitimacy in the world of rugby, I'm just a simple enthusiast. I don't play and my only talent is making sensible comments with @khazadkeit

I love to edit, create and most of all make the content more dynamic with new games-concepts-debates. That's how I feel now and what I wanted to share with you at the end of the year. I don't intend to make the blog more austere or less personal because I love to be able to tell what I feel without adopting a neutral tone. I'm a fan before anything else and this almost naive side of wonder that I own to put the players on a pedestal I couldn't get rid of it completely, it's part of who I am. I will always make excuses for some people even when I shouldn't and be biased.

I would also like to make a selection with the photos I post, not just publish everything as a whole in a sickly archival spirit. I want things to change for the better. I don't know what made you come and stay here, but even if it's a particular tone or my personality, I'd like it to evolve. I'm very grateful for the small audience I have and lots of you are real friends irl but please comment on how you would like to see things develop here.

I'm keen to hear criticism and possible improvements. What I miss the most is the creative side and the emulation that this blog could generate at one point. It's kind of gone and I miss it terribly.

Anyways I'm impatient to read some of your comments.

#needed to write that down #the less I know the better those few days...#ugh feel sick #and sad

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televinita · 2 months

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I decided to read through some of my oldest used-book-sale posts last night, like from 2010-12, and I have (re)learned so many things! A sampling:

1. Can confirm I've owned both Moonrunner and Alpha Dog, two (unrelated) titles on my perpetual "I'll read this soon probably definitely," since 2011. One, in my defense, is in a box somewhere and I have no idea where. The other is literally on my bookshelf in the apartment with me right now, the one that's not even double-stacked, where it's been since I bought it, and I have no excuses.

2. The Hanged Man was the first Francesca Lia Block book I ever read.

3. The paperback copy of Inkheart that I own is beaten up/wrinkled to hell, because this was back in my "earning $10k a year and spending at least half of it on student loan payments" era and also I had so little book sale experience that I was just excited to find a copy of a book I liked at all. tl;dr next time I see a nice copy I should feel free to upgrade.

4. I bought so many friggin' awesome computer games I never had time to play because fandom ate up what little time I wasn't spiritually crushed by my terrible paid-by-the-completed-piece job, and now my computers are too new to play them. (side note: the fact that this is even how computers and ~upgraded systems~ work is incredibly stupid. I'm so jealous that video game consoles don't die the way computers do.)

5. I bought the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants soundtrack?? What is even on it? Where IS it?? I can't possibly have decided to get rid of that...? But I have no memory of seeing this among my collection. Maybe I was still in my "I don't have room to keep everything" era and didn't like enough songs on it to justify keeping for the booklet and charm.

6. I bought (and didn't read or keep and in fact explicitly picked up in a bag sale to flip @ Half Price Books) a hardcover-with-dust-jacket vintage juvenile novel that didn't interest me at the time (Bridge of Friendship -- and tbh, the plot summary still doesn't excite me), but...Mabel Esther Allan! Who would later become dear to me via Home to the Island.

7. I considered giving 5 stars to The Fault in Our Stars in spite of my John Green Vendetta. I know it's because I got swept up in the giddy fandom rush on Tumblr in 2012 -- everyone in the Glee circles talking about The Land of Stories also was in love with this one -- but LMAO. "I will definitely buy the first copy I see for $2 or less." False. By the time I see one a few years later -- a special edition with an author Q&A and everything -- I will have forgotten almost all of the plot details and said, "Meh." (I left it 4 stars on Goodreads for The Memories tho)

8. I bought Double Trouble by Doreen Tovey in 2013, never having heard of her. It would take me fully 7 years to actually read one of her books (a different one I bought later). I still haven't read this one. Though in my defense, which is minimal since the first book I read was #7, I have only otherwise read book 1 and this is #6 in her set of memoirs.

9. As an aside -- in 2007, after losing my one precious flash drive at college, I finally bit the bullet and bought a replacement. This one held two gigabytes AND it "only cost $20."

(Sometimes you just gotta appreciate the rare thing that doesn't cost more now than it did in the past, you know? While we're at it, remember how gas prices were so bad in 2008 that sometimes minimum wage jobs weren't worth driving to, but they're basically still that price if not lower today? Just little gratitude things.)

#even as I regret not keeping a real journal anymore it's amazing how many little details land in ANYTHING personal you write down #i hope that someday i have a computer strong enough to handle downloading my tumblr archive cause i KNOW I have loads here (mostly in tags)

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deepblueeyess · 11 months

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A Fresh Start

{this is your friendly reminder that the entirety of the post might be just as cliché as the title up there.}

but if you stick around, continue on reading, I love you.

hi everyone, it’s been a while since I last post here in tumblr. I have so many things in mind right now, don’t really know what to discuss first, but, let's start with this :

guys, or maybe friends, or--ya I’ll leave it to you what you prefer to be called, I have changed.

And why this surely is important to let the readers know, is because if I change, my writing will surely change too.

If I change, I’m probably gonna change the direction of my blog, as in : what topic I will be talking about, my style, my way of talking about it,and it might also impact your satisfaction-enjoyment-interest while reading it, haha.

But this is a change for good, I promise. And I’ll help you to see why.

If I look back at the tone of my writings here, as well as the whole concept of it, here’s what I've came to realize ; this blog, up until this point, has just been me hosting my own pity party. Has been me, pretty much ‘selling’ my sob story.

Very questionable, yes.

Now, did that work out? did my sob story get the attention it wanted? Yes it did. Some people come at me, stating their empathy. I get to be more ‘understood’ by people. A lot more people sympathize with me. Two extra bonuses, I got more attention, and, there are more people who would let my madness slide. Why? Because I’ve got sob stories. Because I have a sad, pitiful background. Be nicer to me, please, love.

I enjoyed it. Quite a lot.

While this might be one of the most embarrassing things to ever admit, I’ll admit it anyway. Because I slay like that hehe. I gain attention by selling my sob stories to the world, I enjoy dwelling in my own world of adversity, and, before I know it, I lose all the ability to think good. To have thought of good things. To even feel good. Now, if you feel and think so miserably, how are you going to be able to move at all?

Let me put it this way ; my writings, from now on, wouldn’t revolve around my sufferings anymore. That ain’t the main topic bro. Not again. Not ever.

Maybe you would wonder about two things such as, woa, okay, where are you going now? what are you gonna be posting about from now on? and, how did the idea that you’re just hosting your pity party the entire time come about?

The first one, well, it’s a secret, I’m not talking about the things that hasn’t arrived yet--no actually I haven’t thought about it at all lol. But one thing you can expect very soon is a hs review and recap.

About the second one, I was made aware by a lot of things. It’s an accumulation of so many things, like, the book I’ve read, the self-help videos I’ve watched, the podcast and ted talks I’ve ‘consumed’, the series of event going on in my life, people, and just, life, really. Everything going in my life now has been ‘awakening’ me in a way.

As for everyone who have been with me, in this tumblr, for a little while now, I apologize that you have to witness all that. All the madness I was spitting, all the sob stories--where I manage to pretend that I wasn’t delivering any sob stories at all, I really am sorry. Even so, I’m just gonna let those writings be there. I’m not making it private, not deleting, not editing it, just letting it be there as it is, raw and pure. Now, maybe not many will get what I’m trying to do by doing that, so here’s some justification brief explanation.

I’ve mentioned this before but in case you don’t know, I’ve had some blogs too in the past. I have this habit of deleting everything every five months because you know, I would change, and grow, maybe outgrow a lot of my writings. And I would cringe, obviously. Each time that I cringe, I click the delete button. Each time I find my writing ridiculous, I get rid of it. Until I’m left with absolutely nothing. As if I have no history of blogging, ever. Because it’s blank empty.

And now, I don't have something to look back. I don't have my old writings to reflect on. And most importantly, I didn't know very well what kind of person I was.

So we're not doing that.

I don’t know how many chapters are there in my life, but at this point, I sure am at the very end of a chapter. A chapter that has been going on for four years now. I’m about to start a new chapter soon Insya Allah, and I’m very excited to share those stories I’ll have in the future. We’ll talk about it in a positive manner, obviously. I really want it to be like, okay, this happened. What did I learn? that kind of tone. That kind of attitude.

Sooo that's that. I think I'm gonna have to wrap it up here, and I hope you’ll stick around. Tschüss!

❤️, Nadia.

24/05/’23

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theinvisibledoodlewizard · 1 year

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...oh. I guess that was accident link there. Sorry. (Feel free to not answer this if you want, just thought should sorry for messagin' about a link you done removed afterward...)

Nah I’m just messin with ya. Sorry. Today has been an ordeal for me so if I play a little prank that seems mean hearted? Let me know 😅😅😅

But actually I’ve done a face reveal before a few times!

One time was a picture on tumblr that I removed after a little bit, and I’ve had a bunch of links to my YouTube channel. Which has a ton of irl videos not privated. Some of them are painfully dorky good gosh. Lol! Feel free to watch those and mock me about my awful acting to pay me back if you want. HAHA! It’s be fair turn about.

But the real reason I got rid of it was because I’m not entirely sure if I should post that anyway 🤔 I’m thinking I’ll give it it’s own post? But I’m also not sure. Haha. Might redo the cover better anyway. Since that was impromptu.

Edit: idk it I will make another version or not? But here’s the first version again anyway, just in case I don’t hehe. Since that was a little bit of a weird prank. 😅 I apologize again.

#asks

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arty-shadow-morningstar · 2 years

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A Failed Betrothal (11)

Behold, a new chapter.

And also I am posting this on Ao3 after I finish editing the chapters. (Too lazy to change the ones on Tumblr rn.)

I am going to get rid of hiatus status and post when ever I feel like it.

P.S: Can you believe that it's been a year since I posted the first part?

[Masterlist] [Ao3 link]

(Part 1) (Part 10) (PART 12)

-----

“Stop right there, Red Hood.” Mayura commanded as her dress flared in the landing. Sentimonsters resembling the Justice League appeared behind her. The most glaring difference was that their skin was the same blue shade as their mistress. They all had the same costume as the originals too but they were all dark blue and peacock feathers replaced each heroes’ signature symbols.

“You must be the insect’s sidekick.. Proves that he is too much of a coward to face me himself so he sends you out to die instead. I am just waiting for the Cat to show up.” He replied as he put away the earrings in his utility belt. “Unfortunately, that means you can’t be around when they arrive.”

“Someone called for me?” A playful yet chilling voice called out. Another figure dropped in front of Mayura in a defensive position. He was dressed in white from head to toe. Pale messy blond hair framed an unhinged grin. But the similarities to the previous Chat Noir were apparent.

“Who are you supposed to be?”

He stood up and introduced himself, “I am Chat Blanc. A white knight in shining leather here to protect this city from you, Monsieur Red Helmet.” He pointed his staff towards Red Hood.

“Not much of a white knight protector if you are teaming up with the supervillain that has been terrorising the same city for years.” Red Hood snorted.

Chat Blanc dropped his charming smile and scowled.

“Awww. Did I hit a nerve?” Red Hood used the same tone as one would a little child, “Seriously, kid. Why would you even team up with the villain if you wanted to fulfil your superhero fantasy? That’s going in the opposite direction. ”

“SHUT UP!!! YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING. CATACLYSM!”

Chat Blanc leaped at Red Hood, only for his hand to stop short a few centimetres from Red Hood, only managing to disintegrate his red helmet to reveal a masked face with white lens widened in slight fear. Red Hood fell on his back with an unceremonious “Oof”.

The black gloved hand that prevented Chat Blanc from catalysming him to ashes was revealed to be the Black Cat’s which is currently wielded by the original Ladybug.

“Why did you stop me, Ladybug? You are a hero and bad guys like him need to be destroyed.”

“Bad guy or not, he still has the right to live and my job is to defeat the akuma which is you.”

He snarled, “You can’t stop me. I will do whatever it takes to show her that I am the hero I was meant to be.” He used his other hand to punch her to which she dodged nimbly.

Red Hood was going to take advantage of Chat Blanc keeping Black Cat occupied only for senti-Superman to appear in front of him and punch him a good few feet away.

Soon, the two cats were locked in a cat fight while Red Hood fended himself against the knock-off Justice League who were trying to get the earrings.

Mayura watched them from her position above them on one of the beams of the Eiffel Tower. To her irritation, Red Hood was very good at evading the senti-monsters and had found that his bullets were able to temporarily keep them down. However, it was only a matter of time before they got the two Miraculous they needed and finally, their goal will be completed.

While riding on the high of near victory, it was only thanks to the fast reflexes granted by the Miraculous that she managed to catch the dagger aimed for her head. In her head, she cursed. It would not be good if she got too cocky while victory was at hand.

“Show yourself.” she demanded.

Lady Mǔ lǎohǔ came out of the shadows, her swords drawn for battle.

“The Guardian’s mother,” greeted Mayura. “It is a pleasure to finally meet you in person.”

“The Butterfly’s Bitch.” The tigress greeted back with a smirk. “I won’t say that I feel the same. Considering what you put my daughter and her team throughout the last few years. However, I would happily wringed your neck.”

The peacock holder frowned, “If you just let him take the Miraculous he needs, we would not be here facing each other. Your daughter would not need to bear the weight of being a superhero on her shoulders.”

To Mayura’s shock, Lady Mǔ lǎohǔ laughed, “Even if Hawkmoth didn’t happen, it was only a matter of time before my daughter go into vigilantism. But let’s not ignore where the blame rightfully belongs. This whole mess started because of him.”

“Yes, but once we get the wish, you won’t even remember that this had ever happened. Think about it. Your child won’t ever have to worry about akuma attacks. She will be spared from seeing her friends die over and over again.”

“You think that would just be okay if you erased everything and covered it all up, you won’t face the action for your consequences. I have met many people who had covered up everything they had done and thought themselves untouchable. But all of them were brought down by me. You are no different. And don’t think for a second that you know my daughter better than me. If given the choice between stopping Hawkmoth and living a normal life, she would do this all over again in a heartbeat because that is who she is.”

“There is no changing your mind about this then.”

“Not a chance in hell.”

“Then you will find that I am not going to go down so easily.” Mayura said as she crouched into a fighting position.

Lady Mǔ lǎohǔ simly did the same, her swords pointed towards the other woman. She crooked one of her fingers as the universal sign for bring it on.

Back and forth they went on the platform, swords and fan clashing. Down below, the Rabbit had recovered and was fighting against the senti Justice League and Red Hood.

Other heroes had finally arrived on the scene. The Turtle, the Fox and the Mouse. They joined the Rabbit in fighting off the senti-monsters.

The senti-Justice League was completely focused on the new arrivals that they forgot about Red Hood.

He used the opportunity to tackle Black Cat away from Chat Blanc who hesitated on who to help. As Red Hood pinned her down to get the ring, Hawkmoth felt a strange mix of desperation and fury. He had always thought that this war he had with the Miraculous Team was going to end in two ways, with him victorious and his perfect family once again completed or the Miraculous Team holding the Butterfly and Peacock with him standing in bitter defeat.

But some low American upstart, with no powers or Miraculous to speak of, was managing to beat both his nemesis and achieve his goal before him? With nothing but a few guns? He was willing to do everything he could to prevent that man from making a wish. Hawkmoth ordered Chat Blanc to stop him as he jumped through his butterfly window, glass shattering onto the garden below and made his way towards the battle.

If he had looked behind him, he would have seen a black figure leaped through the now opened window.

But he didn’t.

—---

Chat Blanc obeyed Hawkmoth’s command and summoned another cataclysm. At the last minute, Black Cat managed to get out of Red Hood’s hold and pushed the man away from her. The ground where both of them were, disintegrated into a crater.

Red Hood grabbed Chat Blanc out of the hole and kneed him hard in the stomach. He then jumped out to attack Black Cat only for Chat Blanc to grab his ankle and pull him back. The two of them brawled in the crater while Black Cat recovered before going to help her teammates to gain ground.

Up high on the beams of the Eiffel tower, Lady Mǔ lǎohǔ and Mayura were still fighting, and both of them had lost their respective weapons. Natalie Sancoeur was a black belt martial artist in her own right but she was getting frustrated that somebody who should have little experience in fighting was not only holding on her own, she was also actively winning.

Lady Mǔ lǎohǔ found her opening and kicked Mayura but underestimated her own strength, causing the peacock holder to land near where Red Hood was climbing out of the crater and away from panting Chat Blanc. The Gothamite used the opportunity to rip the peacock Miraculous off Mayura and undo her transformation.

The man took out his gun and shot Natalie point-blank in the chest a few times before putting the brooch on, “Dusuu, spread my feathers.”

“Woah, wasn’t half-expecting that to work, to be completely honest.” said the newly transformed Blue Hood whose costume now had the same colour palette as the senti-Justice League.

He created some amoks which were duplicates of Gotham vigilantes with the exception of Batman. He sent senti-Nightwing and senti-Batgirl against Lady Mǔ lǎohǔ and the rest to the other heroes to over power them.

Then, Chat Blanc leaped on the taller man’s back and proceeded to try and grab the Miraculous. Blue Hood tried to shake him off and get the claws clinging to him off. Just as Chat Blanc nearly managed to touch the Peacock Miraculous, a tall man in purple landed in front of Blue Hood with a cane in one hand.

“Hand over the Ladybug Miraculous.”

“Oh, you finally man enough to show your face, Hawkie?” Blue Hood asked as he lifted Chat Blanc over his head and threw him right into Hawkmoth.

Simultaneously, all of the senti-monsters stopped fighting as Blue Hood tossed the akuma bracelet into the air and caught it. He then threw it towards Lady Noire who used cataclysm on the charm and proceeded to do the same to the butterfly.

“What is the meaning of this?” Hawkmoth demanded as he pushed his knocked out and deakumatized son off him and stood up.

“Venom.” someone cried.

He tried to avoid the attack but he felt a prick at his back and then found himself unable to move.

The original Bee, very much not dead, stepped into his field of vision. Beside the Bee was a very much not stabbed Dragon.

The Black Cat smirked, seeing the outrage in Hawkmoth’s eyes. She stood in front of the man who had made her life very difficult and caused several headaches for the past few years. Enjoying the satisfaction of victory over her longest enemy. Too bad that venom won’t last forever.

She turned towards the news crew that had arrived on the scene with the brightest smile on her face.

“Three years ago today, right here, I proclaimed that I would find Hawkmoth and make him hand over his Miraculous. Today, I present to you the man behind the numerous attacks over the years.”

In front of all of Paris on live television, she removed the Butterfly Miraculous to reveal Gabriel Agreste.

Adrien, who had woken up in time to see his father revealed, looked shocked and betrayed at the knowledge that his father was a villain this whole time. The cameras captured the moment he went into denial before letting out a heart-wrenching scream and jumped onto his father. He managed to get a punch on his father’s frozen form before being held back by Bee and Dragon. He was a sobbing mess while Bee, who still had little affection for him as her childhood friend, comforted him as his father was arrested and taken away.

Black Cat leaned into her mother’s side as Paris cheered around them.

Finally, it was over.

-----

(PART 12)

Taglist: @alysrose-starchild, @buginetye, @lookatthestars1, @blackroserelina, @macncheesemonster, @mochinek0, @myazael, @tonicxworld, @thewitchwhowaited, @t1dwarrior-of-earth, @kissa-chan, @iwantasecretidentity, @theymakeupfairies, @user00000003, @woe-is-me0, @kashlyn, @mochegato,@moonlightstar64 , @greatcatblaze, @moongoddesskiana, @tazanna-blythe. @tonicxworld, @toodaloo-kangaroo, @frieddonutsweets, @local-witch-of-mn, @lady-bee-fechin, @iglowinggemma28, @indecisive-mess-named-me, @k-tea-and-coffee, @jayjayspixiepop, @all-mights-asscheeks, @idk-j-go-with-it , @loysydark, @thenillabean, @lolieg, @zalladane, @silvergold-swirl, @henie04, @blueblossombliss, @khneltea, @mochegato, @itsmeevie01, @roguishredaxion, @alyssadeliv, @steph-hearthlight, @adrestar, @eliza-bich, @abrx2002, @hikari55ttva, @doglover82, @daminette5074, @moon5608 ,@justafanwarrior, @allis-sun, @animegirlweeb, @aespades, @corporeal-terrestrial, @mildlydeadly @redbullgivescaswings, @peachedpocky, @mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog, @vixen-uchiha, @maskedpainter, @crytallized, @callmewhatyouwant00, @stainedglassm, @fantasyislive, @risingmoonyue, @blackstarlight-co, @wolf-for-life,@prettylittlebutterflie, @bonusbuggy, @demonicbusiness, @meow-now, @two-faced-biatch, @ladyqnoirr, @thebella000, @missanalysis, @istoleyourcookies, @that-random-hoe-us, @laydeekrayzee, @redscarlet95, @ichigorose, @adresta,@a-star-with-human-name, @anotherpersomewhere, @achaoticmess1, @pratically-braindead, @meme991001 @wolfmagic24 @chaoticmistake @batmanzplan @wolfy-kat @

#maribat #ml x dc #mlb x dc #damian x marinette #A Failed Betrothal #akumatised Adrien #Hawkmoth is going to get what is coming to him #Ladybug's overly complicated plan

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fbfh · 3 years

Text

dave strider dating headcanons

1k words, spoiler free

warnings: some swearing, mentions of brief fears (spiders, heights, loud noises), some swearing

pairing: dave strider x gn reader, optional brief skirt wearing

a/n: I am still in act 4 of homestuck so pls !! no spoilers !! take my interpretation of the characters with a grain of salt !!

also why is there no homestuck x reader fics?????? Am I looking in the wrong place????? Why are there barely 80 dave x reader fics on ao3 and almost none on tumblr??????? Did homestuck’s popularity just miss the x reader fic train???????? if so I fully intend to fix that (this is the first two or so pages of my dave dating hcs doc, I’m on page five and show no signs of stopping)

also since I’m still in act 4 right now I’m only writing for Dave, probably Jade, John, and Rose (maybe some of the trolls but it’ll be on a case by case basis until I feel like I know them well enough to write for them)

aged up to 18+ for moderate sex jokes lol

Someone told me once that they think Dave is the only character they know of who can match my feral chaotic energy

And honestly I have to agree

Dave is a very strategically feral, chaotic person

You know that thing where

Wait I’ll see if I can link it here

I can’t find the post but

I forget what it said verbatim

But basically that if you want to take the piss out of someone who has an Intellectual Superiority Complex you just need to act brazenly confident and sure about something you know is incorrect and as long as you don’t let on that you’re joking they’ll argue with you endlessly and it’s fucking hysterical

Dave does that

All the time

He will deadass argue with the Smart Kid in his class that the moon is fake for hours

He’ll argue endlessly that Terry Crews, Kevin Hart, and Kevin James are the same person shifting forms with randos online

He does that thing where he one ups conspiracies with more outlandish conspiracies

“The moon landing is fake”

“Uh, bro, you still believe in the moon?”

You got a truly delightful video once of him arguing with a smart kid in class about one of those ridiculous topics

Like glinda being a princess

He leans forward, tilts his glasses, and says in the most confident self assured voice

“Okay- riddle me this, bro,”

He points to the guy

“If pee isn’t stored in the balls, where do you hold it? In your hands?”

The entire class erupts into screaming laughs

The teacher enters to the guy getting up in Dave’s face screaming about sperm and piss

Both of them got a detention

If you can match his irony and sense of humor beat for beat

His brain goes into in love overdrive

You basically never “break character” and it’s fucking immaculate

He didn’t know you could vibe so well with someone

Every bad joke you make

Every meme reference

Every act of idiocy for the sake of the joke

He falls harder

It’s kind of scary for him at first

Having these raw genuine feelings so close to him

He covers with humor as usual

But part of him is freaking out a little

It’s sort of like finding a possum in your house

And then you realize there’s more possums hidden around

Then you run into the bathroom, look in your closet, check the pantry

There are possums everywhere

They don’t seem mean

They’re actually kind of cute

But what the fuck

Aren’t possums usually supposed to stay outside?????

So yeah when he falls he falls hard

I might do Dave crushing on you hcs too

One of his favorite ways to spend time with you is just chilling together doing separate activities and periodically updating each other

He’ll be working on some sick beats

You’ll be sitting on his bed doing something you love

Drawing, bullet journaling, blogging, editing videos

Whatever your thing is

It genuinely makes him feel so close to you to just

Be near you

He has this sort of deep quiet admiration for you

For a while he genuinely has no idea how to connect the two aspects of his feelings for you and how he’s used to expressing himself

He feels like he can’t tell you how much he likes you cause like

That’s not swaggy bro

So a lot of his affection is in little ways

He knows all of your favorite snacks and drinks

Favorite candies and gum

He will protect you from anything you’re afraid of

Spiders? Gets rid of them so fast you literally didn’t know it was there

Loud noises? Has you listen to his latest mixtape when you’re going through somewhere noisy

If you have any mental health problems or we you bet your ass he will do so much research on how to support a friend with [insert thing]

Picks up on a lot of your cues and mannerisms quickly

Knows exactly when to give you his jacket, when to show you the perfect meme, when to take a study break

When to just pull you into a random dance party

He really likes dancing badly with you

Just failing around and spinning you around

If you like to wear skirts he likes the way your skirt flows when he twirls you

It looks so flowy

Like water or something

His favorite part is after you’ve been dancing for a while

When the song ends or when you get tired

How you’ll both kind of slow down and laugh and catch your breath

You’re still holding his hand

And you’re standing really close to him

He thinks you’ve never looked more beautiful

He never wears his sunglasses when you dance

He claims it’s because he doesn’t want them to fly off

But it’s really bc he doesn’t want anything getting in the way of watching you laugh and smile so much

Oof he’s got it bad for you

#homestuck #dave strider #dave strider x reader #homestuck x reader #homestuck fic

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arcadialedger · 3 years

Text

Please note that I am most likely leaving this platform. I am done being abused. But first? We need to have a discussion. A discussion about hate and bullying in fandom.

All online-- I encourage you to read my story below. Reblog and spread awareness. The Dragon Prince fandom especially -- I implore you read my words, every single one of them. The short of it is that I am done.

This all began with losing and being blocked by a friend because I shared something they disagreed with. I don’t care what you feel about my initial reaction to this (which I’ll explain below) -- I’ve apologized for not handling the situation correctly. But I will not be shamed for speaking my mind and standing up for myself.

Because no human being deserves to go through what I have endured since last summer.

Following the “callout” post made about me by one of, if not the largest blogs in this fandom, I received hundreds of threats, harassment messages, and death threats. Messages and posts telling me to kill myself were also prominent, on a multiple times a week basis for awhile.

Messages from people who were well aware I have struggled with being suicidal. Due to one of their favorite Dragon Prince blogs speaking out against me, they thought it was okay to suicide bait me.

And it worked. I already struggle with hating myself, am already insecure, and being flooded with these comments which, while I made mistakes, did nothing to deserve, drove me to try and take my own life after years of progress in my mental health.

Mind you, this is like a 200 follower to 4k follower power dynamic. Which yes, plays a role-- because when you have a large following and influence, you have power. Yet the person behind this had the gall to claim Tumblr clout isn’t real.

People blocking and condemning others instantly at your word? Is power. If people read your words and are influenced, or have their minds changed, or buy or don’t buy something, etc.-- you are an influencer. You have power. And when you’re one of the largest blogs in a fandom, you have a LOT of power.

So take responsibility.

I was hurt because I lost a friend who I had chatted with for months, did a podcast with, and was generally not only one of my favorite blogs but the center of my experience in the Dragon Prince. I may not have been perfect in my words, but when I was asked why I was quiet/ inactive, I explained how I was hurting, anonymously. I was understandably in pain and upset. I had been cut off for just having a different opinion on a matter, for thinking differently. Even though it was within their rights to block and do so, it felt wrong and it weighed on me.

Is that such a crime?

The callout post and previously described abuse followed, lasting for months until later in the year (this began in June, or around then). It also included screenshots of tweets, when this user does not have Tumblr, and they have stated to have screenshots stored up on their computer of my various posts and interactions. This is creepy behavior, and freaked me out. I felt like I was being stalked, “evidence” being filed away for the very purpose of being used against me.

I eventually talked things out with the blog per recommendation of my therapist, and thought all would be fine. For a little while, it was. I largely stayed off of Tumblr to heal. Once in awhile I would have a rough, tearful night because something reminded me of what I lost, but I would make it through. Overall, I was making progress.

Then? My Twitter got hacked by one of the people sending me hate. For what had turned out to be much. And after they tweeted some purposefully incriminating and bigoted things to make me look bad, I came home from a weekend in the mountains to a shitstorm.

Twitter has a love hate relationship for me and I barely opened the app unless actively chatting with a friend. So when I saw 700+ notifications, I was surprised. It had never happened before.

I began to scroll through, and when I saw what had happened, I ran to the bathroom and threw up.

I had lost over half of my followers and a solid 60% of previous Twitter mutuals had blocked me. But worst of all, I had hundreds of hate tweets directed at me replying to the hackers tweets. Messages had been sent in DMs and accounts blocked, followed, and unfollowed as well.

If you have never felt that loss of agency-- that sickening feeling of words you never said next to your profile-- be glad. Because it is traumatic. I value my words. I value what I have to say. And having that taken from me was worse than anything I had been through here on Tumblr, outside of the suicide baiting (the most direct attack to me and my emotions/ insecurities throughout this entire ordeal). Further, this hacker had clearly stalked my tweets based on some of their comments.

Hundreds of tweets bashing me, calling me aphobic slurs (knowing I am asexual mind you, as it was in my bio), making fun of my appearance and targeting all of the insecurities which lead to my first suicide attempt in high school, and taking/ editing images of my face and mocking them. This all culminated in a doxing threat-- a doxing threat which made me feel unsafe on a campus I had already been sexually assaulted on. I was once again, after starting the healing process, thrusted back into the darkest time of my life and spiraled into anxiety and depression. I cried a lot overwhelmed by it all, had difficulty sleeping, and felt sick. I started fall semester and couldn’t concentrate on school. I was a mess.

I had once again been condemned, this time for something I had no part in. I tried to example what happened but nobody listened. I had been hung without trial. People were understandably confused, and my entire reputation on the platform, and my page, became a mess of lies, misunderstandings, and more.

If you don’t know the feeling of already hating yourself and being insecure, and having these beliefs reinforced and spread by hundreds publicly across the internet? Of already feeling lonely and unwanted and having the one space you thought you had taken from you? Consider yourself lucky.

I had a lot of voice actors and creators following me-- accounts I interacted and greatly cherished my mutual with. A handful of them unfollowed, understandably. This online hate mob was sending messages to people demanding they unfollow me, including some of these creators. They had no idea what to make of this mess or what was real and true and just didn’t want to deal with it. Most of the others just stopped interacting with me. @aaronwaltke (tagging so those who don’t follow already click and do so, because he is absolutely fantastic-- he’s a writer for ToA) who had followed me on the platform, graciously wished me peace with the entire situation after I checked to make sure he had not been subjected to messages or hate, either from my hacker or other accounts. His was the greatest compassion I got on Twitter, before I ultimately ended up just having to delete.

I lost podcast deals because of this with Adrian Petriw, Aaron Ehasz, and Justin Richmond. I do not blame them one bit and would have done the same in the confusion not wanting to get dragged into anything.

Only to have one of the friends I lost who helped start this interview these very people on their own podcasts. A slap in the face. A zine I had bought to support them came to my door, with the front page proclaiming to “spread a narrative of love.”

I was never granted that chance. That compassion. I had the vultures sent after me with no mercy. And anyone who has been through online abuse and systemic harassment knows just how much it feels like they’re slowly but surely picking at your flesh ( a metaphor I used in one of my old, since deleted posts discussing the situation, and still find accurate), wearing you down until you have no strength left.

Make no mistake, my story is not a one off situation. Many share the same tale of abuse and being driven off of platforms that once gave them great joy. These attacks are coordinated, systemic, and common hobby for these people-- who largely claim to be loving and accepting of all. They are a cyberbullying phenomenon which has risen with the presence of fandom on the internet. And I want to make clear, with current discussions of “cancel culture”, I mean nothing political in that statement. Some might call my experience cancel culture, but I don’t.

It’s just bullying. It’s just hate. These people get off on ruining people’s lives.

And my life was greatly set back and ruined. I had a stain on my past in fandom I could never be rid of. I had to shut down my podcast, took time off of all social media, and most of what I had built, most of my growth, was taken from me while those who incited and/ or spread hate thrived and continued to grow and find success. That was the greatest sting of all.

I asked the one previous friend who hadn’t blocked me, but had just stopped interacting with me (which I understood and respected, and also greatly respected her perspective, help, and support though this situation in which she largely unfortunately ended up in the middle) for help after explaining everything, and got nothing. They didn’t seem to care, and just blocked me on all platforms. Once in awhile, I would find I was cut off from yet another old friend, or a blog that I had never interacted with before but clicked into, interested. It hurt being cut off, unable to fully interact with the fandom, but I could move on.

That pain would never go away, but I made clear I did not blame them for the actions of those who abused, harassed, and threatened me. I also made it clear they did not owe me anything, including unblocking.

I just wanted to move on peacefully, but those with the power to enable that did not wish to help. I slowly, when I felt ready, began to be more active on Tumblr again, and once again the hate started up.

Sometimes when I was hurting, I expressed my pain and loss to my followers just to reach out, because I was sad. I had no idea how to rebuild from all that had happened. This got me more hate an accusations of emotional manipulation and gaslighting. I had no idea what to do, and got trapped in a cycle of needing to talk about it, and getting hate and backlash, but not knowing where else I could turn.

My doxer came back into my asks, ultimately making me switch schools, and refueled the drama. Speaking up about this got me more backlash-- mostly accounts reblogging (one with tags saying “fuck you”, despite not knowing the full story, and commenting and then blocking me so I could do nothing to respond or get it off of my page. I deleted all posts of the matter, as requested by these people (who validly pointed out they were in the main fandom tags, which I hadn’t thought of and understood), and hoped to move on.

But it hasn’t stopped. I have been beaten down and emotionally bruised for months. I have had my life and safety threatened, my education and by extension life path altered, and lost work (podcast) opportunities due to this-- alongside the irreversible emotional damage from trauma and abuse. My mental health issues and insecurities-- which I have been very open about to destigmatize the subjects and encourage conversation-- were actively targeted to inflict the most pain possible.

And I can’t even talk about it, without enduring more hate and accusations of “playing the victim”.

Death threats, suicide baiting, doxing, months of bullying and harassment to the most vile degree, which a lot of these people don’t know about because they don’t even bother to read my words. Yet I’m playing the victim.

And the accusations of bigotry and being hateful hurt, because it couldn’t be further from what is in my heart. I believing in love and acceptance of all. I don’t know how many are religious here, but I found God after my first suicide attempt and that is what his word has taught me.

I’ve been through too much in life to tolerate this, for lack of a more eloquent term, bullshit. I know what abuse and victim blaming looks like when I see it. And in my 20 years of life, I have gone through too much: constant ridicule and bullying, suicide attempts, sexual assault, major spinal surgery, to just be stomped over and not stand up for my right to basis human decency.

I refuse to put up with this, so unless I get an apology and some semblance of justice for everything I have been through, I am leaving. I will not participate in a space run by hate and toxicity. I will never claim to be perfect, and I have apologized for my mistakes and wrongdoings. Now, hold those who did this accountable. If you’re reading this you know very well who it was, and I am not naming them for those who don’t. Because at the end of the day I still send nothing but love and wish no ill will towards them.

But I’ll be damned if I don’t expect accountability of one of the greatest influencers in the fandom for their complacency in abuse, threats, suicide baiting, and and absolute ruining of my life and online experience. They enabled this and were well aware they had the power to stop it-- to ask their followers to stop-- and did nothing. They didn’t care-- about a human’s life and well being.

@dragonprinceofficial, are you aware that this is what many of the fans of your show, which preaches love and an end to the cycle of vengeance, do to others? That this is happening in your space? If you stand at all by the values you preach, condemn it. @staffTumblr/ @supportTumblr-- shame on you for allowing this abuse to happen and ignoring my reports. Shame on you for permitting these people to operate in your platform and for being okay with hosting hate. People have been driven to suicide on your website-- I am one of the lucky ones.

If you care at all about humanity and stand against this behavior, reblog and spread awareness. Share my story so I may not happen to anyone else. Tag @dragonprinceofficial until they notice and speak out.

This is my story, and so many others. Make sure it doesn’t happen ever again. No human being deserves to be treated how I was. Everyone deserves compassion, decency, and respect. And everyone deserves a place in fandom. Do better. If you want to reach out to me DMs are open, as well as my email, which is attached to my account. Until this change happens and I am given the support/ help needed to safely function on this platform, this blog will not be active outside of that.

Thank you all of the many accounts who have supported me, and I am working on getting back to all who have reached out! Your love means the world. You know who you are, and I don’t want to tag in case people come after you for showing me kindness. I am sorry if this is goodbye, to all that have enjoyed my blog. I enjoyed it for a long time too. I loved sharing my passion for stories, culture, having a space where I could analyze and discuss my favorite things. I loved getting to share what I had to offer with the world, having fun and posting jokes with my unique sense of humor. I loved interacting with intelligent people/ fellow fans and discussing my favorite stories, offering each other new insights and growing together. I loved the many, many kind and wonderful people who reached out to me in a variety of ways and provided support and friendship.

In the end, it just isn’t worth all of this pain and trauma, and I know when to put my foot down. I don’t want pity, I don’t want apologizes, and I’m not a martyr. I just want my story to make a difference-- to spur positive change in fandom culture/ spaces. I will be tagging all fandoms in which I have seen this kind of abuse present as well, to reach as many as possible.

Be safe, and be kind.

- The Arcadia Ledger/ Ryn/ Katie, signing off.

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yourclownpal · 3 years

Text

A comprehensive list of all my Ghost au's

this post will be talking about all of the ghost au's ive created or co-created including talking about ghost au's from old fandom's that i am no longer in. if you want to ask about any of my au's my ask box and dm's are always open this includes the hermitcraft au but keep it to a minimum please also if any of the creator's of the characters have said that they arent comfortable with what im making ( with proof ofc) i will edit or delete what is needed to fit in the boundaries also another thing this is a long post if you just want the art go under the cut! this post will discuss how each au works and basic plot stuff about them the fandoms in this post are hermitcraft, epithet erased, and dsmp okay first things first-

my hermitcraft au (what a pity)-

On my old tumblr account I made a few posts about it along with a fanfic which never got finished due to me not wanting to interact with the fandom any more due to personal reasons and also I'm not very good at writing imo but I think I'm ready to talk about it again. Just keep in mind i will most likely not talk about this fandom ever again at least not on here again for personal preference : -) it was about season 6 Grian since he was who i was hyperfixating on at the time, being haunted by the ghosts of Sam and Taurtis, both of them from the old roleplay series' Yandere High School, and Tokyo Soul, and taurtis from Grians old-ish smp Evo. Since I never finished the fanfiction nobody but me and close friends ever got to hear the full story i had planned but now you will i guess. It was mainly just grian stressing about Sam and Taurtis being ghosts and him worrying about being crazy, though he would still join the hippies during the area 77 war he would be significantly more stressed especially when finding out that Sam and Taurtis have been possessing his body during the night, he’s more worried about Sam though because of his track record back in the other servers( yhs and ts) it was going to be that Sam (although death isn't permanent) would go on a killing spree in Grians body which would cause the area 77 guys to put him in the facility to see what's going on with him, and it didn't get further then that. My favorite part of this au much like all of my au’s were the design elements i had for it which i'll have under the cut with the other designs. Now for a rundown of how the ghost physics work in this world, in typical ghost fashion Sam and Taurtis were not able to touch or move anything, but they were able to interact with Grian, him being the only person who could see/hear/or touch them. Their only super natural abilities is being able to possess Grian.

Okay! Time for my Epithet Erased au!: Unlike what a pity this one doesn't have a name or a fanfic to go with it as said before i'm not exactly a writer but i have talked about it a bit before on this account along with posting the designs and general concept but i'll go more in depth here! As said in my original post this au was a co-creation with my best friend and sibling @brocolibean so go check bun out ^^ Unlike ‘What a Pity’ it was more lighthearted and comedy centric because it dealt with a bit more and also the original show is a comedy. This au didn't include the character’s epithets so they are all humans. This will also include talking about house each ghost died so if your uncomfortable hearing about that you might want to skip the ghosts portion Just like the original post I'll separate the story summary into 3 parts with intervals in between to talk about the ghosts. First we have the Banzai boys part of the story. Giovanni, Spike, Dark Star, Crusher, Flame Thrower, Car Crash, and Ben all decide to move into a house together so they could all easily split the rent since its close to their collage, the house, which they get for cheap, is aa very old house with sketchy history. But it's a huge house for cheap so they don't complain they encounter the ghosts very early on living in the house and they swear to figure out how they died so they can get their memory back! The ghosts, Molly, Sylvie, Trixie, and Pheonica have no memory! All they know is that there are ghosts! They are connected to the property of this house but if you where to get something- like perhaps a stone from the property the ghost is still technically attached to it therefore the ghost can go with you anywhere Speaking of- -Phoenicia Fleecity is one of the last ghosts to show herself, her body is found in the overgrown garden flowers growing over her skeleton, she is from the victorian era making her the oldest out of the ghosts though he death is the most mysterious -Molly Blindeff is the first ghost the group meets her decomposed body is found buried in the floorboards of the living room, found when gio decided that the house needed renovation and taking matters into his own hands, she died via blunt force trauma i will not be going into detail here because i'm still thinking of doing something with this au she died in the early 2000’s -Sylvester Ashling is the second ghost to show himself though he didn't want to, his body was found in the bottom of the pond in the backyard of the house in the garden. His body while it was decomposing and falling apart was still intact, bloated from drowning. Again i wont go into detail but this wasn't an accident time of death is unknown -Trixie Roughhouse is the third person to show themselves to the Banzai Blasters she is found in the bushes in the backyard her face disfigured from some sort of explosion unlike the others it seems like it was purely an accident, like sylvie their time of death is unknown Mera Salamin is the collages part time librarian nicknamed “the library witch” she started seeing her ghost after obtaining a neck bow with a blue pendant from a pawnshop she got it cause it was pretty and didn't expect a himbo to come along with it -Indus Tarbella is a ghost who is attached to the pendant and bow Mera wear it used to be his own until he was decapitated wearing it through he was properly buried he has no troublesome memories about what happened even after seeing his body he’s just happy to be with Mera Percival King is a security guard at the college and one of the best at that, she wields a story she got from a pawn shop as its her preferred weapon she takes her job very seriously -Ramsey and Zora both died by the same sword while fighting neither remember who wielded the sword, even after death they hate each other and hate being bound together even more Everyone ends up meeting and finding out they all have ghost hijinks ensue. The way ghosts work in this world is a bit strange I'll admit but it's one of my favorites. The ghosts can interact with the human world(menma style) but

they can only talk to the others who can see them (the Banzai Blasters, mera and percy) and the ghosts can interact with each other ghosts in this au attach themselves to an item or property that has someway to do with their death, the kids in the property, Indus it's the bow, and the sword duo is well, the sword Percy carries. As alluded to from before Gio and the rest of the boys end up carrying a bit of the property with them in the form of friendship bracelets four for each of them which makes 28 different bracelets so the kids can decide who to follow around for the day.i talked about how percy and Mera’s items work enough but i would like to mention that Indus does most of the heavy lifting around the library but becaus enoone else can see indus they assume she’s magical, the glowing pendant doesn't help.

The last two au’s i want to talk about are both dream smp au’s

though i've never talked about them online until now, again thanks to @brocolibean for letting me brain vomit my way through these au’s and helping me out with things i love them please check him out I'll be honest i'm so scared of this fandom so i'm afraid to talk about my au’s please be nice to me Also this is all roleplay and fiction!<3 The first one i'll talking about is the dsmp ghost hunters au Sam runs a company where groups of people hunt ghosts for money! Those groups being Phil, Technoblade, Wilbur,Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo Dream, George, Sapnap, Quackity, Karl Bad, ant, Skeppy, and Puffy There’s most likely more but there the only people i can think of at this moment The only canonical ghost being Schlatt This au doesn't have a proper story perse it's more about gags and stuff about the different character fighting over ghosts for money but the story stuff i do have- Sbi family dynamic is real here you can rejoice, Phil adopts Tubbo after his dad (Schlatt) kicks the bucket and fucking dies , Tubbo befriend’s Ranboo some mysterious teen who just desperately needs a job so he- and the rest of the Minecraft family help him get one- though they find out Ranboo isnt as human as he was made out to be and he finds out he’s this worlds version of angels called ender’s and he’s there to protect Tubbo and Tommy which explains why the more violent ghosts start being less violent at the arrival of Ranboo joining their team. Bad isn't human either being a demon his entire group know’s plus quackity. Quackity found out but squirting him with holy water through a water gun but don't worry he promised not to tell anyone; -) Bad and Ranboo know about each other because they see each other as their true forms The minecraft fam found out about Schlatt being a ghost through Tommy- despite Tubbo telling him not to- telling them from calling up and paying for them to investigate their own house saying “technically i didn't tell them” they ended up not getting rid of Schlatt though I'm not going to talk about how the ghosts here work because it's not super important to the plot

The second au is another ghost au where the main characters are ghosts themselves,

like the others its mainly lighthearted and comedic with dark attributes The plot surrounds the sbi family moving into a new house and Tommy finding out it's being haunted by two ghost’s. Those ghosts being Tubbo and Ranboo This au isn't fully figured out but I know that he found out he was haunted by sending a selfie to someone(possibly Drista and Purpled? Since there are only other minors who were part of the dsmp lore? But ultimately idk) and them being like “yo i didn't know you had friends” and him being like “?????” Tubbo died from a boiler exploding and Ranboo died from drowning (which are apparently my two favorite deaths) this also doesn't have an official story? It was just an excuse to make ghost designs with a bit of a story without the commitment As said before it's a sbi au but also a Dadschlatt au cuz I like Dadschlatt au’s. The main story bits i have are background stuff for Tubbo and Ranboo which ill elaborate now The house was originally meant to be just a summer home because it had a large lake in the backyard Ranboo’s family would go there often but that doesn't mean his family liked him very much because of his heterochromia, Vitiligo, and his height his family thought he was strayed from god and drowned him Tubbo died during sleep while Schlatt wasn't home either out drinking or just at work he came home to the house being partially blown up and his son nowhere to be seen he calls Puffy out of fear and she calls the cops. He moves away and most likely starts drinking a bit more. The house gets rebuilt and now the sbi live there hijinks ensue! The ghosts in this au work in a simpler manor only Tommy can see them unless a photo is taken but even then they are blurred, they can float and go through walls and their ability to touch things is limited Ranboo’s memory is worse then Tubbo’s but Tubbo’s isn’t much better.

below the cut will be designs and stuff be safe pal's- there will be minor/cartoony blood-

rip me exposing my old art on this account also i'm ripping these from my fucking amino account that i don't use but still have the password too

gonna do the original what a pity drawins first them ill show a more recent rendition because i hate the old drawings

these are the old drawins i hate them

then,,, i just drew them,,,,, fuck these guys/j

thses are the old sprite edits of these four! trixies design is the only one that really changed

the ded;-; i couldnt fit him on the page

there he is! ft indus and very much alive mera(who i cant figure out how to FUCKING DRAW-)

gay's get wilbur'd/j

they lookin for ghosts

the whole fmaily is here but its quality is shit

these bitches dead! good for them,,, good for them,,,,,,/j/rp

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daebom · 3 years

Text

Please read.

I’m making this with no anger or frustration left. I am genuinely sad. You could say to the point of hurting. And honestly, the way I’m treated as not just some content creator, but as an actual human being behind a computer screen - I AM hurting.

I was just looking through my notifications as usual and randomly came across a fellow The Lost Boys fan...

Be warned, this is very screenshots heavy.

I noticed they were using one of my gifs from THIS gifset as their header.

I’m making it no secret, that when I randomly come across these things, I always politely DM (or send it via ask) the person and ask them to take it down, since I do not allow my edits to be used in any way (see my bio) apart of the basic appropriate Tumblr functions. I feel like I have to be clear - I am no “huntsman” and so I do not purposely go on and “hunt” people who use my edits without my permission. I only politely, without any aggression intended, message them to let them know about my T.O.U. whenever I randomly come across situations like these. And that’s what I did.

Now, I did not screenshot the very moment I sent this person a DM, but the screenshot above was made partly out of habit to have proof in case they try to “play me” (speaking from experience, sadly) and also partly to have a quicker “note” of the person’s username to message them later, because I didn’t text them immediately. I was busy, so I did a few hours later.

Now here’s the thing.

They did not text me back, which is fine. But a few hours later I did check and see they were online. A few more hours later, they did what I took as an unspoken answer and was genuinely thankful for - they changed their header from my gif to some kind of image (I believe it was a photo of Michael and David). All is fixed and done, no hard feelings (at least from my part). Right..?

Just a side note, but I found it weird at the time, that they also deleted their reblog of my Star gifset (as you can see in the screenshot above). But what followed next makes me now think, in a bitterly humorous way, that they did it to “disassociate themselves from my blog”.

While DMing my own friend through Tumblr app, I decided that I should probably clean out my DMs and in turn delete this “conversation” as well, since all is fixed and there’s no point in keeping it. But then I noticed something.

They turned off their DMs. Okay, that’s maybe a bit weird. But then I went to their profile...

And let me just say, the whiplash I got from all this............ Do I even need to explain what’s wrong here?

Before anyone says otherwise, here’s the proof.

My gif:

Size: 1,14MB

“Their” gif:

Size: 1,11MB

My gif:

“Their” gif:

My gif:

“Their” gif:

They cut off a few inches from the top to get rid of my watermark.

That’s it.

That’s all it takes to claim you made the gif from scratch..?

And in case anyone’s not aware of how much “blood, sweat and tears” it took to colour a gifset like this one from two years ago, here’s an original, in no way edited screenshot of this scene from the movie:

Why did they do a 360 degree turn around is beyond my comprehension. When they changed that first Marko gif to a photo, their description was still the old one, their DMs were still on, etc... I am honestly confused.

And since this person turned off their DMs and sending a message via ask from my side is pointless, reaching out to them again via public post by tagging them will surely result in them blocking me. Which I don’t know if I should take as a good or a bad thing, at this point.

Let me end this by saying that, as I am finishing to write this, I feel like I no longer care if this person keeps that butchered Marko gif of mine as their header. What hurts me the most is what they wrote in their description, stating the “truth” and in a way mocking my attempts of politely reaching out to them.

To all original artists, be it writers, gif makers or people who draw: I genuinely wish you all to have the least possible amount of encounters with fellow fandom people, who steal your passionate hard-work and claim as their own. 💔

#I'm sorry this turned out kind of sappy #I needed to vent #reposting #reposter alert #reposters #psa

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universitypenguin · 3 years

Note

What happened to u? U okay?

Hello!

First off, thank you for your concern. I appreciate it and I needed it after the past two days. To answer your question - I'm doing great.

I don’t have a lot of context about your question, but I’m guessing your concern is due to my recent blocking spree. A day ago, I went through my followers list and found some minors. I’ve previously seen smut fanfic writers concerned by underage people interacting with their posts. Until I had to block a few of them, I wasn’t aware how uncomfortable it would make me feel.

Since the blocking spree, I've had a lot of thoughts. I'm about to spew them everywhere. You might regret asking me if I was okay. Sorry about that. No one needs to read this whole manifesto about my rollercoaster of emotions the past few days. But in the interest of transparency, I'm posting this very long note.

What I want my readers to know is the following:

Tumblr is both a place for fanfiction and a social media site.

When I interact with followers and write explicit content, I have to be careful about what I'm saying and who I'm saying it to.

I don't intend to block or purge my followers in the future.

As long as I appropriately tag and put warnings on my work, that is adequate protection for my blog. Everything I write containing explicit content is tagged.

However, I won't interact with users who don't have an age stated in their bio.

There have to be boundaries, given the content of my writing. But I've also come around to the realization that I'm not capable of policing every interaction. Tumblr is a public forum. Minors following me makes me uncomfortable. But by the same token, my work is clearly labeled at 18+ and so is my blog.

There's a lot of explicit content out there for minors if you really think about it. In my high school freshman English class we talked about the book "The Color Purple." Believe me, that was explicit and we were only 14. Any minor with a library card and a Google browser can access a lot more intense content than what I write. I hope they're all being safe, but I can't have a melt down blocking spree again.

I'm not a cop, I'm not a parent, and what minors consume is down to them and the adult responsible for them. If I know someone is a minor I'll block them, should I notice they're trying to interact with me. Otherwise, I'm not purging my followers ever again. It's too much drama. I'd rather leave Tumblr than do that twice. I'm tired and I'm starting to work on my post graduate classes, I work full time in a demanding job, I'm in the process of editing my novel, and trying to keep up with my personal life. Quite literally, I don't have time to block. Writing fanfic is supposed to be my fun time. Let's keep it that way.

Due to the fact that some people I blocked were later unblocked after I took a closer look at their blogs, I'm posting a full explanation below. A quick summary is this:

After only writing for three months, I'd amassed 500 followers. On Monday I blocked almost 200 of them. Then I reviewed my block list and editing down some people who were prematurely blocked. [I assume the anon is one of the unblocked who had me disappear from their dash. Sorry!] This blocking thing isn't sustainable. In the future I'll run my blog differently as far as interaction goes in an effort to be responsible.

Continue reading for the saga of:

The Great Blocking Spree and Existential Crisis of an Erotic Fanfic Writer.

The Blocking Spree:

On Monday I realized a thirteen year old was following me and interacting with my work. This creeped me out.

*Commence blocking spree*

Then I realized how daunting my followers list was. I had 500 followers prior to Monday. That day I blocked about 200 people (some of them prematurely - more on that later.) So after the daunting task of trying to assume, to check bios for ages, to review blog content and determine the user's age, I was tired. Today, I even took a moment to reconsider if I wanted to use Tumblr. Because if all this is my responsibility, maybe I don't have the time or dedication to manage it. When I can be chill, I try to be. This attitude also affected by blocking. It contributed to me unblocking people. When I was doing the blocking spree, I'd give people with no age in their bio a fair shot by reviewing their posts.

I blocked some bot accounts, then a bunch of blank blogs, some ambiguous people who very well could be of age. For the first 100 followers I was pretty aggressive. Then my attention span dropped off and I was a bit more ambivalent. I realized I was doing a crappy job of moderating and wondered what the point was.

The point was that the thirteen year old interacting with my work freaked me out. When I found two sixteen year old followers, it pushed me to continue the purge.

So on I go, blocking. I'm so responsible for doing this, right? But my methodology is crap. What is context for being an adult? Someone had posted about budgeting advice. I thought the budgeting advice was too good for it not to have come from an adult. But my father's a financial advisor and to be honest, I could have given that level of advice at fifteen just from osmosis. Someone had pictures of themselves entering their marijuana plants in the Oregon State Fair. Okay, you've got to be over 18. I didn't block them. Someone else complained about their stats professor and I didn't block them. But in retrospect, one of my high school friends got permission to take college level math courses when we were seniors. She was seventeen when she had a stats professor. The thought circles back - what am I accomplishing here? Next, I went back and unblocked someone who ranted about her Tinder matches being 60 year old men. I wondered if their post was even real. I've lied on the internet before. Nonetheless, I persisted and worked through all 500 followers. When I was done I had 312 followers left.

Post Blocking Spree Existential Crisis:

I know that all the blocking in the world can't stop a teenager who wants to read smut fanfic. I'm not much for posting on social media and I'm not used to a lot of anonymous interaction online. Honestly, I got rid of my SM accounts during college when I felt it was wasting my time. This is the first time I've really use a social media site to post content since college. My twitter account is unused, my Instagram is for close personal friends only, and my TikTok is for mindless consumption of cat videos. (I've trained the algorithm to feed me only cat videos, it's great and I highly recommend it.) I don't post on TikTok, so I don't consider it full use, just lurking.

Okay, Alice, get back to the point....

Right, being anonymous on social media. My blocks are a fence and it's based on self identification from the blogs that follow me. I have little faith in underage consumers to out themselves. I have even less faith in their honesty or respect for an adult's boundaries. They're at a stage in life where they want to push the boundaries. Telling them no is all but inviting them in. I did my blocking spree because I was worried about backlash from someone's parents. But what reasonable judge would come after a fanfic writer? Come on. Logical thoughts but me emotional distress was still brewing.

Why I am the one responsible for who clicks the follow button on my blog? I've always clearly identified what I write and tagged my work as smut.

That thought snapped me out of my whirlwind of anxious thoughts. So I started looking into the laws. My regular work involves medicine, not the legal profession, so I was lost. I found some state level laws that made me glad I'd gone on a blocking spree. California and Florida have specific language in their laws about 'providing minors with explicit content.' But what exactly is that? What I researched applied to the following activities: co-writing smut fanfic with other people, sexting, roleplaying and online messaging.

I run a fanfic blog with limited interaction. I've never done an ask. I don't roleplay on here and I don't want to.

The blocks weren't personal. They were partly based on the awareness that Tumblr is an interactive site and a place that's had a problem with child pornography in the past. But I'm not the smut police. I suck at blocking, and I doubt I did a good job of purging my followers list. This is when it hit me that boundaries are only what I can enforce. They've never been about how other people relate to me, only how I relate to them. (Wow. I've never sounded more like my mother in my life...) After this thought, I started considering what actions I ought to take if I wanted to keep posting fanfic on Tumblr.

My Post Blocking Spree Clarity...

It's up to me who I interact with. I don't have to reply to every comment and re-blog, but I'd like to. I'm stuck between wanting to write for everyone and handling interactions on a social media site that's mostly anonymous.

The fact remains: I can't be the smut police because I suck at it.

What I've decided is that I'll make it very clear on my blog that this is an 18+ space where I publish erotic fanfiction. Smut will always be appropriately marked. I'm not going to interact with reviews, re-blogs, and messages from accounts who don't have their age in their profile. I won't include them in my tag list either. The internet is a public forum. Just as with publishing erotica, once it's out there online for download, it's done. As a ghost writer and an author, I don't control who buys my original fiction, which is just as spicy as my fanfiction. (Trust me, it's explicit. I once had a romance editor tell me I should dial it back on the smutty parts of a novel because "it's a lot of sex for a non-erotica market.") The key difference on Tumblr is about interaction. And that's something I can control. I can decide when I reply to other users. What brought me around to this was the realization that even after the blocking spree, I can't review every single like I get. That's an amount of time and mental energy that's beyond me. Just the past two days have been exhausting and sapped my will to write. Which sucks because I need to go write the next chapter of "Restitution" before tomorrow.

I think the reasons I went on the blocking spree are nuanced. The thirteen year old freaked me out. So did the other underaged people who had ages in their bios. But it also relates to my work. In my job I've seen some nasty child abuse cases. Early on in my career, when I was a 23 year old new hire, I was working on an autopsy for a child abuse victim who'd been murdered by their parent. It was so terrible and graphic, I had to ask one of my older colleagues to take the case. This colleague didn't like me. But she took one look at my face and took the file. She closed out the review without a question and never brought it up again to anyone. I was very grateful. Where I used to work (and where this incident took place) was a major city that holds the unfortunate title of being the human trafficking capital of the US. And something I learned working there was that most human trafficking victims go with their captors willingly. In two years at that job, I never saw one who'd been kidnapped from a dark alley like you see on TV. They were all groomed on social media and thought they were escaping their families (who were often overbearing, toxic, or dysfunctional) for a get away with friends. It was a fun adventure with their internet buddies, until it wasn't.

In retrospect, the underage interaction I found on my blog made me react because of what I've been through. The autopsy case kept coming back to me today while I was at work and I've finally untangled my emotions enough to figure out what caused my melt down. When I was blocking, I was feeling an anxious motivation that I know can only stem from the stress I deal with at my job. Don't feel sorry for me about this - I know my work in medicine helps a lot of people and it's a tremendously satisfying career.

Our Saga's Resolution & How I'm Going to Deal With This In The Future...

- - - - -

In post block clarity, I offer this conclusion:

I'm writing on a public forum. My work is appropriately tagged as smut. In the future, I will also use the tag #no minors to help with filtering. I've always asked underage people not to interact. And on a public forum, what more can I reasonably do? Going forward I will only interact with those who have their age posted in their bio. But blocking sprees and policing every interaction isn't feasible.

I'll review how I'm going to run my tag lists as well. I need to think it over and let my followers know my decision as to if I'll continue using them. Because tagging is definitely interaction and my current tag list was not screened at all. *face palm*

Finally, to my readers who have blank blogs or don't have an age listed. I respect your right to privacy and I'm careful with my personal information as well. But I've also had an uncomfortable two days. If you've lasted through this venting session until now, you must understand that I'm upset by underage interaction. I'm setting my own boundaries and going forward, I'll own my side of the internet. No interaction from me, unless I know your age. Full stop - no exceptions. I think it is reasonable for me to suggest that you leave something on your blog that signifies you are not a minor, whatever that may be. Someone who I didn't block that stands out in my memory had a bio that said "90s baby." It was simple, direct, and left no doubt they were over 18. No age reveal and not even a name. If you put something like this on your blog it'll help explicit content creators feel more comfortable about their interactions.

I went on a spree this Monday and I admit to being heavy handed and aggressive about pruning followers. I had an emotional reaction due to work stress and I didn't think things through logically. I'm relieved for the chance explain myself and set new boundaries that I'm capable of sticking to in the future. But remember - the block button is on my side of the screen. At the end of the day, you might be unhappy with me for the block, but it's my button, it's my blog, and I'll use it as I see fit.

Thank you for reading.

#tw vent #tw child abuse #tw trauma #tw violence #tw human trafficking #penguin blog update #new rules #i'm sorry #its been a long week #I almost left tumblr over this #blocking spree #clarity #smut #no minors #smut fanfiction #smut writing #smut blog #I talk about my work trauma from medicine #boundaries

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tobesobri · 4 years

Photo

𝒯hank you for all the love on the first chapter, that was honestly the last thing I expected, and it really does mean the world to me that you guys like this story. I’m going to include the taglist at the end, but if you’d like to be added for future updates, go here and put in your tumblr URL. Okay, anyways, this chapter is very like,,, rocky and emotional so! Have fun reading :)

huge massive thank you to the incredible @youresogolden-h for editing ❤️

Chapter Two: Do It One More Time (3.8k)

Harry and Y/N are friends…. with benefits, but not the kinds you’re thinking of.

🥥MASTERLIST 🌃INSPO TAG 🌻ASK TAG 💃PLAYLIST 🛌

Sneaking Harry out had been the least of her worries. Him being on her mind constantly was a much bigger cause for concern. She had trouble sleeping at night, tossing and turning and even having to wash her entire bedspread to get rid of his scent. It had been no use, however. It was like her body got a taste of something very potent and wanted it now more than ever before.

And it didn’t take long for her to get back into her routine. To soil the pillowcases in her tears because the emptiness inside her chest had only grown tenfold after what had happened with Harry. Her muscles literally ached and her sobs almost sent her to the bathroom to hurl up an empty stomach full of knots.

Her brain had finally gotten a reprieve from its loneliness. She finally felt what it was like to have someone, even if it wasn’t real. Even if it was a mistake and even if it was fleeting. Harry had filled whatever missing parts were within her and it hurt like hell to go back to normal again.

But she wasn’t the only one. He couldn’t sleep anymore either. His house felt massive and the silence between all the walls seemed to ring just a little bit louder. He found himself buying an unnecessary amount of pillows and setting them all up on his bed just to surround himself with something. He’d been here before though. After a breakup, his least favorite part was going back to sleeping alone. He hated not having someone to hold onto. It took him weeks to get used to it last time, and to get used to the cold spots on the other side of the bed. It only took four and a half hours with Y/N to fuck him all up again.

And he really shouldn’t be doing this, but he was desperate.

“Hello?” Even her voice was a breath of fresh air for him.

“Hey, it’s uh… Harry.”

“Oh. I didn’t know you had my number.”

“Will gave it to me a while ago… for emergencies.”

Y/N took a long pause, unsure why Harry was calling her on a Thursday afternoon, completely at random. It had been almost an entire week since their… incident. Why was he calling her right now?

“So… is this an emergency?”

“Um… well, no. It isn’t.”

“So why are you calling then?”

“I was wondering um… you can say no but um… I was wondering if you wanted to… sleep with me again.” He cringed at his last few words and the way they felt like knives cutting his throat to get out. He had no better way to phrase what he wanted other than being blunt about it and admitting he wanted her up against him. He wanted more than just lifeless pillows to cuddle up to at night.

And something about Y/N had him losing his fucking mind the past week so asking her to sleep with him seemed low on his list of crazy.

“Sorry?”

“I mean… like we did last week. I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight, just to sleep?”

“Why?” She asked, unsure why Harry fucking Styles was asking her that. Sure, they were somewhat friendly and she had thoughts about asking him the same exact thing, but it was an odd request coming from him. She was sure if he needed a cuddle buddy that he could easily find anyone else.

But even the thought of him being like that with someone else gave her a horribly sick feeling in her stomach that she recognized immediately but could not for the life of her explain. She didn’t get jealous, ever.

He cleared his throat, “Um well… I have had a pretty hard time sleeping and then last Friday it was like… like the best sleep of my life. And this past week has been awful again. So I was just… we don’t have to if you don’t want to though. It’s fine. I probably shouldn’t have even called…”

“No.” She cut his spiraling off abruptly. “I mean… yes. I… can do that.”

He immediately let out a huge breath of air in relief but also couldn’t believe she had, yet again, agreed to another one of his stupid ideas. “I just want to let you know I’m not trying to like… get in your pants or anything. I genuinely just…” He stopped then, knowing a more believable story would be him wanting to get into her pants than what was actually going on with him.

“Just what?”

“I just need someone.” He admitted with his eyes closed tight as he laid back onto his couch. “And it’s not very easy asking people to just sleep with you.”

She let another moment of silence go by that just about tore him up. And right when he was about to ask if she was still there, he heard her voice again, as softly as ever.

“What time should I come over then?”

Harry’s house wasn’t easy to access. First, there was the entrance gate to just get into the neighborhood, which had an intimidatingly large security guard posted out front like an oversized bridge troll. Then she had to hand over her driver’s license and try to convince him she was there to see Harry, and that her name was supposed to be on his list of accepted guests. The whole thing wouldn’t seem so unbelievable to her if she wasn’t already trapped in a pit of nerves from being there in the first place.

By some miracle, however, the guard returned her ID along with a visitor’s pass and opened the gates for her.

Then, of course, there was finding his house, which turned out to be a whole other task and a half on its own. Every house was so far from the main road due to oversized front lawns that she couldn’t read anyone’s house number unless she practically trespassed. He’d given her very vague instructions so she mostly had to rely on Google Maps. Which somehow got her to the house at the end of Spruce Street with the enormous pine tall trees and rose bushes surrounding it just like Harry had described.

She pulled into the short gap of driveway just before the tall, wooden privacy gates that hid most of his house from view. After rolling down her driver’s side window, she inputted the four-digit code he’d given her onto the pinpad. Within a few seconds the gates opened, and after a moment to ogle at his insanely beautiful house, she swallowed the pit in her throat and carefully drove onto his property as if it was made out of glass. She really did not belong there, not in her beat up 2005 Toyota, and she couldn’t afford to break anything.

The moon was already prominent in the middle of the sky by the time she got to his front door and rang the bell. His house wasn’t at all what she expected. It was old-looking. Almost cottage-like with stone bricks and vines trickling down the architecture. She expected the most modern amenities known to man from him, but it turned out to be the polar opposite.

She stopped staring at his garden fortress of a house, with her jaw hung wide, when his door swung open. Because finally he was there, right in front of her, giving her proof that she didn’t accidentally show up at the wrong address, even though the code had worked and the house was as he described. Her anxiety was just a little extra prominent than normal.

“This is where you live?” She asked, before he even got the chance to invite her in.

He laughed, holding the door in one hand and gripping the frame with the other to keep his balance as he stood in the middle.

“Um,” he sighed, glancing up at the house, “yeah, but I’m trying to sell it soon. I bought it when I was young and impulsive.”

“Oh.” Was all she said, and he worried for a moment that he had completely lost her. That she was going to go back to never speaking a single word to him ever again. That he wasn’t anything like what she expected and it was a little too much for her to take in.

Just like most of his previous attempts at friendships, once they got even the tiniest glimpse into his life, they either bolted or stuck around long enough to get what they wanted from him.

Instead, she met his eyes again and smiled, “Can I come in or what?”

The inside of his house, however, had been recently modernized and she wondered if Harry had made all the design decisions himself. Like if he picked out the big geometric crystal chandelier in the foyer or the white marble countertops in the kitchen. She liked it, though, it was open with tall ceilings and unlike any home she’d ever stepped foot in. Even though it reminded her what vastly different worlds she and Harry came from, she knew his personality didn’t match up to his big fancy house.

When they settled into the kitchen, and when Harry began pouring two glasses of water for them, she set her things down on his island counter to give her shoulders a break from her heavy backpack. She knew she’d packed too much stuff, but if she was spending the night at Harry’s place, she needed her own familiar things to keep her company.

“I was thinking…” she started, watching as he kicked the refrigerator door shut once he’d put the filtered water pitcher back on the top shelf and handed her one of the glasses. “That maybe it’s a good idea to not tell Will… or... anyone about this.”

He thought it over for a moment and then nodded in agreement, “Yeah, okay.” Averting his eyes, his mind thought of a million different things at once while he sipped on his own glass of water until another tangible question popped into his head. “So if we’re not telling them, then where do they think you are right now?”

“At a coworker’s place.”

He nodded again and for the first time around Harry, she felt so incredibly nervous. He’d made her nervous before but not like this. She’d always just avoided him and it worked her anxieties out, but there was absolutely no chance of avoiding him now. Maybe she should have just said no, but that also seemed like an implausible choice.

“Is it alright if I like… get ready for bed? I just got off work.”

He let out a small giggle around the brim of his glass and nodded, “Yeah, I’ll show you my room.”

And his bedroom did not, by any means, disappoint. Just the square footage of it was impressive, but her eyes were particularly drawn to his bed, and not for any other reason than the way it faced massive ceiling-to-floor windows that overlooked, as it seemed, the entirety of Hollywood; and she fell in love instantly. It was mesmerizing, and she could not fathom why on earth he planned on selling. Hell if he didn’t want the house anymore, she’d take it.

“Bathroom’s over there. Make yourself at home. I’m gonna set the alarm and turn off the lights. I’ll be back in a bit.”

Nodding, she waited for him to leave before she fully lost her mind about everything. Not only was she in the nicest house she’d ever laid foot in, but she was also about to crawl back into bed with him. His king sized, fluffy-looking bed she could imagine herself getting lost in.

She knew what they were doing was slightly out of the norm for people their own age. Most people didn’t sleep in the same bed as their friends unless they were doing something friends probably shouldn’t be doing. But the benefits of their budding friendship were a little more innocent than that to the point where even the thought of Will finding out where she was right now, while she slipped into her strawberry patterned pajama pants in Harry’s ensuite, made her lightheaded. She’d almost feel better if Will found out they were actually hooking up instead, because at least that wasn’t so… weird.

With the amount of time she spent getting herself ready, most of it being wasted on psyching herself up enough to go through with all of this, she’d become very familiar with his bathroom. He had two sinks along one wall, and massive mirrors that all faced a shower that could fit an entire army inside. The tiles were either black or white except for the blue pops of color here and there. The best part of it was the massive soaker tub in the back underneath a window that overlooked his garden. It was like he plucked a bathroom straight out of Good Housekeeping.

And of course she couldn’t let his things go unnoticed. She’d make herself a space at the empty sink nearest the door, the one that didn’t have his stuff neatly stacked around it. She eyed his small selection of colognes on a tray between the sinks while she washed her face, and couldn’t help her curiosity from checking out what brand of toothpaste he used when she started brushing her own teeth.

Other than the little touches of Harry scattered sparingly about, however, it was almost as if no one lived there at all. And she became very familiar with how cold it all was.

It wasn’t until she turned the sink off after splashing her face, again, with ice cold water, that she heard the soft hum of a guitar from just outside the bathroom door. She wasn’t sure if he was playing, or if he had turned music on. She wasn’t even sure if Harry Styles knew how to play the guitar. She couldn’t ever remember him playing any instruments whenever he came over to work with Will, but maybe she was just tragically unobservant.

And that seemed to be the case once she finished up and went back out to find him perched on what appeared to be his side of the bed with his guitar on his lap and a leather bound notebook open in front of him.

Though before she could make out a single melody, he immediately stopped playing the second she re-entered the room.

“Sorry, you can keep… doing what you’re doing.”

He let out an exasperated laugh while she crept towards the bed on the opposite side and made note of the way he quickly hid his journal from her and stashed it into a drawer at his bedside table. Maybe she was overanalyzing things, but it seemed like whatever he was writing down was for his eyes only, and she respected that.

“I was trying to write a song… hasn’t really been working out for me recently.” He leaned away from her to put his guitar down on the floor, setting it upright against the table, and she hated the way her eyes went straight to the small sliver of skin under his shirt that was exposed when he did so.

“Writer’s block?” She asked, slowly making her way up under the covers next to him, still feeling like she didn’t belong even though this had all been Harry’s idea to begin with. He needed someone and so did she, even if he didn’t fully know to what extent. But it felt like somehow she had tricked him into thinking the someone he needed was her.

“Sucks,” he mumbled to himself mostly, still very obviously in his own little work bubble.

“I usually just try to stop doing whatever I’m struggling with, and do something else, something I wouldn’t normally do.”

“You mean with your art stuff?” He asked and she wasn’t sure how he knew about her hobby, if Will had brought it up before, but it made her heart flutter nonetheless, that he remembered that small detail about her.

“Yeah.” She finally looked over at him, only to find him already staring at her and it weirdly made her less anxious about her current position. In his bed. In her roommate’s best friend’s bed. “If you’re stuck, you should leave it alone and write something completely out of your comfort zone. Then when you go back to where the problem was, you have a new set of eyes on it.”

He was quiet, first just listening to her speak, and then really letting her advice sink in because it wasn’t something he’d ever thought about doing, but he made mental plans to give it a try.

“I’m sorry if this is really weird, Y/N,” he began, getting her attention when he changed the subject. “I know it’s hard to believe but I’m actually horrendously alone and I guess when we slept together I didn’t feel so much that way anymore.”

“I get it, Harry.” She sighed, never wanting to fully open up to him, but feeling like it was now or never to get him to stop making it more weird by apologizing. “Makes you feel like… empty.”

“Exactly,” Harry sighed and she glanced at him when he agreed so enthusiastically. “I haven’t been that close to someone in… months,” he rolled his eyes down to meet hers again, “and I guess I just didn’t want it to be like that again.”

The look on her face alone made it easy to tell everything he said resonated with her, like he was saying exactly what she was thinking too. It broke his heart to know that she, in any way, felt like he did, but it also made him glad someone finally understood what he was going through, even if in just the slightest.

“I understand, Harry. I guess I just don’t understand why you’re alone. Can’t you have anyone you want?”

He scrunched up his face, “It’s not that easy.” He huffed, “People aren’t all that interested in me as they are getting loads of likes on Instagram and having lots of money. I mean… I haven’t had a single relationship that didn’t end the same.”

“Still,” she mumbled begrudgingly. He was still Harry Styles. People still wanted him and, even if it hadn’t turned out so well, he’d still been not alone at some point in his life, unlike her.

He raised his eyebrows, a little irritated at this point. “Okay then, why are you alone? Can’t imagine it’s that hard for you.”

She rolled her eyes away from him and hung her head to disguise the embarrassment on her face. There were two big reasons why she was alone, and she was not about to admit them to Harry at eleven o’clock on a Thursday night.

“So what is it then?” He talked for her when he grew irritated with her silence and her inability to see his perspective on things, “Your lack of ability to talk to people? Because you have these massive walls to keep literally everyone out, including me, for the past however many months we’ve known each other?”

She shook her head and sunk deeper and deeper inside herself. This was all a mistake. It had all gone wrong because she opened her mouth and said something insensitive.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Harry.” She looked at him again finally, holding back the stupid tears trying to well up just from the mere thought of being even moderately yelled at, and especially by Harry who she’d never imagined being angry a day in his life. “But if we’re just going to sit here judge each other, I think I should go.”

“No.” He immediately reached across the king-sized space between them to grab her arm before she even considered leaving his bed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell like that.” They stared at each other silently for a moment before he continued, “You don’t want to talk about it and that’s fine.”

She stared at him for a moment, and then at his hand around her arm and just how good it felt to be touched. Just to have human contact, even just something as simple as that. And then she felt just as desperate as she had when she agreed to all of this in the first place.

“Can we just go to sleep? I’m tired.”

It started out like it had before. A gap of space between them after Harry had turned out the lamp beside him. After he spent an ungodly amount of time staring out his window and listening to her breathing, and she spent the same amount of time overthinking, they both realized something wasn’t working.

“Harry?” She whispered like she was throwing out a line into a vast ocean.

“Hmm?”

“You were right… about why I’m alone. But… it’s also that no one’s ever really shown any interest in me because, um... ” she struggled, trying her damndest not to cry in front of Harry. “I’m... ugly, you know… so that’s, um...” Her voice was just a whisper she could barely even make out, but it was still the first time she’d said that to anyone before. Sure, she wasn’t facing Harry when she said it and they were in complete darkness, but it was still hard, hard enough to make her hands shake and the tears fall.

He knew it too, the way her voice wavered like he’d never heard before. He twisted his head over his shoulder to look at her, eyebrows furrowed even deeper when he saw the shadow of her hand move across her face to wipe the tears away.

And here she was; in Harry’s bed where she thought her problems would be temporarily solved, and yet she was still crying.

“So that’s why… I feel like I don’t let people in because I don’t want anyone to have to be stuck with me.” She finished and he flipped himself onto his back, still staring at her head like he couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth, that she even thought that way about herself. He was sitting there in shock because, well… he had been wrong. He didn’t understand her at all.

Without a single clue how to respond without sounding like a disingenuous asshole, he went another route rather than opening his mouth to give her unsolicited advice.

“Come ’ere.” He whispered, helping her until she was in his arms again just like before. He cradled the back of her head with one hand as she hid her face on his chest and wrapped his free arm around her shoulders. Slowly, she warmed up to him and tucked her own arm around his side as they fit themselves together like puzzle pieces all over again. Except this time, they were both consciously aware of it.

They stayed like that for a while until Harry listened to her breathing even out, and he could hardly keep his eyes open any longer. He still wanted to say a million different things, but knew it might only make it worse because his head wasn’t clear enough to say the right things. So, he just held on tight and waited for morning.

taglist: @afterstylesmadeit @cxnyon-moon @and-im-not-okay-with-it @chrryblsms @whydontharry @harryinsweatersandbandanas @idkthisisjustforfanfic @teddysoldbird @shawnsblue @thurhomish @theasstour @hufflepuff-always-and-forever @staceystoleyourheart @granolagrannie @defineharry @iambabyharry @1142590m @ashtondene @smokeinherperfume @cherryyharryy

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #onlyhuman

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obsidian-aurora · 3 years

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As I’m about to dive into the events of 227 in my fanfic, I thought now is a good moment to take some time to reflect on the past year.

Words: 1,086,764

Chapters: 131/?

Comments: 2206

Kudos: 4065

Bookmarks: 350

If you can believe it, I started writing this fic almost a year ago now. I’ve written the equivalent of a novel a month this whole year! Nuts. I watched The Untamed for the first time over a year ago. My soul was captured by the light that I saw in Xiao Zhan’s and Yibo’s eyes when they looked at each other. And I haven’t stopped believing in the power of love since then.

Sounds corny? Yeah, kind of is.

It’s hard to imagine that when I started writing this fic, the Special Edition hadn’t come out yet. There was only the official BTS on the Tencent channel to watch - as well as a pile of interviews and fanmeetings. There were no secret Discord groups, I didn’t even have a Twitter account. I had this old blog of mine on Tumblr and an old AO3 account that I dusted off to start writing some fanfiction again.

Did you know I’m a self-published author? Oh yeah, for years I wrote nothing but my own novels. You can check them out here at lillybirdsong.com

I thought to myself, I’ll just write a short fanfic over the course of December. I’ll publish it in January and rid my system of this bug I’ve got and then move on. Now, a year later and I still can’t stop writing about these boys. What is it? It’s all about love. It’s about the belief that against all odds, whether it’s living in a society that doesn’t support LGBT individuals, whether it’s struggling with management companies that don’t support you in your own careers, against all odds Love Wins™.

Or does it?

I’m about to embark on writing the 227 part of the fanfiction and I thought it was really important for me to remind everyone that what I’m writing here is not a bible, it’s not a biography, it’s a piece of fiction that’s my own personal interpretation of what might have happened. I’m saying this because it’s soul-crushing to imagine what might have taken place behind closed doors, the conversations that would have happened, the thoughts that would have spun out of control.

I mean, I just remember my own journey. Some of which is documented right here on Tumblr. I wrote one of my first artist blogs when I hit 50 chapters on Yizhan in early Feb. I wrote a post when Xiao Zhan fans first started calling out AO3 for hosting inflammatory material. I wrote a post when I considered whether this fic should be abandoned. I wrote a post when Coronavirus brought me back home on a plane way earlier than expected. I wrote a post in April when I completed 80 chapters, and at the end of May when I completed 100 chapters.

I’ve gone a bit dark on Tumblr since I moved to Twitter where there’s a lot more BJYX interaction going on, but Twitter is not a good place for a long post so I’m once again spilling my thoughts here on Tumblr.

Writing about 227

As I start to write about this, I’m going to pick and choose which rumours I will write into the story and which I’ll discard. Because let’s get real - there are a lot of rumours out there, and no one except those people intimately involved will know the truth of the matter. I do choose to believe some of the malicious rumours. And so I will include some of them.

Don’t start a war in my comments section. I beg you. I’ll just have to end up moderating my comments which I never wanted to do.

Disagreements within the fandom

I’ve noticed more and more “extreme” behaviour within the BJYX fandom. I feel like ever since the “secret” BTS (which are mostly the same as what we saw in the official BTS just longer cuts) have whipped turtles up into a frenzy! And when someone has a different opinion or when someone likes to spout theories about what their small interactions might mean in the context of the bigger picture, that can cause harm.

So I’m saying right now - everyone’s entitled to their own points of view. No one knows the truth but the ones involved.

Don’t bring your disagreements to my fic.

Respect in public spaces

I have also stated this on Twitter but I want to put my 2 cents here as well. I’ve also been uncomfortable lately with the amount of public discourse about body parts, about sex positions, really really intimate things. If you want to write fanfics or draw fanart to explore these interpretations, I say go for it! That’s appropriate because it’s within the realm of fantasy. But when it comes down to really speculating about what’s going on in the private lives of these two men we love so much, I personally would rather those conversations be relegated to private spaces - Discord, WhatsApp. Not Twitter and Tumblr. So you’ll notice that I’ve unfollowed and even blocked some accounts recently that cross a line I’m not comfortable with.

When I do that, it’s not about you, it’s not a personal attack. That’s just me not being comfortable with the content that’s being created in the space it’s being distributed. If you want to chat with me about it, I’m very open to having that discussion in DM. I’ve been called a hypocrite for my views given that my story is an explicit one, but in my mind there’s a clear distinction between me publishing a story on AO3 and people discussing their real private lives in public spaces like Twitter. That’s just my point of view and I mean no offence to those that feel the opposite.

As usual, I always have my finger on the trigger to take Yizhan down the moment it causes harm to the boys in question.

Other interesting things I’ve done lately:

I’ve been publishing some Fanart. (See the pic at the end of this post as an example). Follow me on Twitter @ObsidianAurora to get the latest as I usually post things first there. I’ll try to remember to post things here as well.

I started a YouTube Channel. It’s called Queer Stories and it’s my space to talk about all things queer - video games, TV shows, and yeah sometimes even how harmful it can be to assume you know someone’s gender identity, whether they’re feminine or masculine, and that this has nothing to do with a person’s sexuality. This video I made in the context of BJYX/LSFY/ZSWW and Yizhan.

I opened a Patreon account since some people wanted to know how to support me. I have been jobless since our visual effects studio closed down in May and I’m starting up a new job again next week (finally!) but if you want to contribute for the work I’m doing this would be the way.

Be Kind.

I’ve rambled on for quite a bit now so let me end it here. Let me just say please be kind. Be kind to each other. Be kind to those who disagree with you. When you’re tempted to lash out, consider the other person’s point of view first.

Remember that what started this was love. Not hate. Don’t give in to the temptation to participate in fanwars. Remember the love.

Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk.

~Obsidian Aurora~

#yizhan #yizhan fanfic #yizhan fanfiction #bozhan #bozhan fanfic #LSFY #bjyx #bjyx fic #bjyxszd #zsww #wangxiao #wangxiao fanfic

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