#this has actually made me change my mind on mike's sexuality | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hellfire--cult · 7 months

Text

Eddie Munson x Cosplayer!Fem!Reader

18+ MDNI sexual tension and possible smutty filthy part 2 for this

I just needed to show my nerdyness with all of you and I can assure you that Eddie would get fixated with a cosplayer, and much more if she dresses of the stuff he likes.

I will link pictures of the stuff I mention that you people might not know of, but I put descriptive information to the outfits and cosplays.

Plot: Eddie hates conventions, never went to one even, but a certain cosplayer changes his idea of it.

remember to reblog pls thank u.

Cosplay for me

Eddie Munson was never a person to go to conventions.

He never went to one before, in his life. He was never interested in them, but it was because he believed it was too crowded and he was told many times that there is always a putrid smell from sweat. Of course, there’s also memes about it online, so he always thought conventions were dirty, and he decided to never go to one.

That is until Mike Wheeler falls sick and Dustin has an extra ticket for Indiana Comic-Con. Dustin knew there was absolutely no chance with Steve, and Mike was the only one of the bunch that had his license. Eddie always cursed at Dustin for not having a driving license at the ripe age of 18, but the younger man always says he doesn’t really like the idea of driving.

So he makes everyone chaperone him around.

That’s why Eddie was now in line to go into the building with a very excited Dustin Henderson next to him.

“There’s so much DnD stuff in here Eddie… There are limited editions of stuff too, like figurines with lots of discounts on anything you like!” Eddie just rolls his eyes at his friend, wanting anything but to look at stuff in the stands.

“You told me that already…” He looked around to see the different types of crowds. You had kids, adults, teenagers and even elderly. He was surprised to see a couple dressed up as Leia and Han Solo and that’s when he noticed the amount of cosplayers that were there. Some of them you could guess it was their first one, and some were extremely detailed, surprising Eddie completely.

When they finally got inside, Eddie tilted his head with confusion as he thought everything was going to be crowded, but it was very spacious and there were many areas of the different stands, people actually having some respect to not push through to look at stuff. He looked at Dustin who was mesmerized as he looked all around and then his eyes widened as he spotted the sponsor he wanted to show Eddie.

“Look Eds!” Eddie looked at where Dustin was pointing at and his eyes widened as he looked at the stand that was filled with DnD figurines, dice, boards, and everything you could possibly get for the game to be even more thrilling. He was magnetized towards it and he had to hold himself back as he looked all over the merchandise. He settled for a squishy 20 dice that looked cool with all the red and black swirls and then for a resin one that had liquid inside and a moving ball with sparkles in the middle.

“Fucking sick…” Dustin smiled at his friend as they kept walking to the other stands. Eddie was not that excited for the rest of the things his younger friend was showing him, but he couldn’t deny that the small businesses made stuff that official merchandise doesn’t have. He looked towards the Netflix sponsor that was in the crowdest part of the building, frowning at it.

“What are you looking at?” Dustin asked as he followed Eddie’s gaze to see what he was staring at.

“I don’t know, something about a new show being aired soon. Didn’t catch its name. Something about things.” He shrugged as he kept walking and Dustin followed right behind. The next part Dustin was excited to see was the gaming area.

Eddie didn’t have enough money to get a nice gaming pc, but it was decent enough, so he didn’t mind going into that area to look at the new releases and the many components you could buy for your PC. His eyes caught onto a large mousepad that had the eye of Sauron in the middle of it and he didn’t even hesitate when he purchased it. Dustin bought a new gaming mouse for himself and they left the area contently.

“You still hate conventions?” Dustin asks with a wiggle of eyebrows as they head outside for Eddie to have a smoke. The metalhead rolls his eyes as he puts down his bags to get a cigarette in between his lips and light it up, blowing the smoke into the open air.

“It does smell weird Dustin… One time is enough for me.” Eddie says and Dustin could only sigh at how hopeless his friend was. He really thought Eddie would like going to a convention with him because Eddie was into all of this stuff.

“Really? Nothing appealed to you?”

“It’s the same sh–” And his eyes caught sight of something white that was walking through the crowd. His heart got caught in his throat as he saw the most beautiful thing he’s seen this whole day and nothing could beat it. The long white hair falling down her back, the elf ears picking out of it on the sides, the elf silver crown over her head, the white dress falling down her body as she kept walking.

Galadriel. From Lord of The Rings.

“Eddie?” Dustin followed his gaze until it finally landed on the Galadriel cosplayer, making him smile proudly. “Oh, that’s actually a famous cosplayer.”

“What?” Eddie snaps his head towards Dustin and the younger boy keeps nodding and he finally says your real name.

“She is very good with her fantasy themed cosplays. Here, I’ll give you her instagram.” Eddie didn’t even doubt it for a second as he handed Dustin his phone in order to look you up. His eyes bulged out of his skull as he browsed over your profile.

There were armor cosplays, DnD cosplays, Legend of Zelda cosplays, some a little more explicit than the others, but it wasn’t bad. He gulped as he stared at one of your League of Legends cosplay. You were dressed as Miss Fortune, and your cleavage was making your breasts really pop out from the edges. He was almost drooling and he remembered he was with Dustin, hitting the follow button and remembering to keep stalking your profile later on.

You were taking pictures with people and Eddie noticed how you were acting exactly like the character you were cosplaying as. Graceful and calm. Dustin laughed when a group of men, dressed as hobbits, ran over to you to take a picture and Eddie couldn’t help but smile as you all stood in character for the picture. He was amazed at the dedication which was even more than just putting a costume on.

“Does she always go to conventions?” Eddie asks his friend and Dustin caught onto it, knowing Eddie had finally found something that interests him in the event.

“She’s always invited. I said she was famous. She has a stand most likely if you want to go meet her and get a picture…” Dustin tries and Eddie immediately shakes his head, taking a puff out of his cigarette.

“Nah, I’m good.”

He probably spent a good hour stalking all of your photoshoot pictures when he got home.

He noticed that you also cosplayed stuff from many games and movies, and he almost died when he saw you in a Tomb Raider costume. You had over 52k followers on Instagram, and now he understood why Dustin said you were famous. You were a Cosplay Influencer, but you seemed genuine in your stories, and he couldn’t help but smile as you reposted many stories of people that took a picture with you as Galadriel.

He kind of cursed at himself for not being able to be brave enough to get a picture with you. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Dustin… Though he kind of knew that his younger friend realized that he had hearts eyes for you the moment you walked out in the court.

He wondered if he would ever have the chance to meet you, maybe even help you in a way. That’s when he saw the donation button in your Instagram page. It said that you were grateful for everyone’s collaboration and that every penny goes into her cosplays and into the fundraiser for Kids with Epilepsy she donates to. Eddie wondered if that was indeed true, because many influencers lie about that stuff.

For some reason though, he really did believe you had a kind soul.

So he donated what he could afford, which was only five dollars– but it was something.

He didn’t have to wonder if you were a kind soul for long. There was an Anime Convention being held in a couple of weeks, and you posted in your feed that you were invited and was going to have a stand to sell prints of your pictures and get to know everyone that wanted to take a picture with her.

It was a coincidence that Dustin had another free ticket this time saying that he thought Mike liked anime, but it turns out that he didn’t and now he didn’t know what to do with that extra ticket. Eddie wasn’t going to pass the chance and took it without a second thought in mind.

He wasn’t a fan of anime, but the amount of ass and tits that he saw as he entered the building was insane. He knew there were very explicit animes out there, but what he didn’t know was that people dared to cosplay them in public. He almost wanted to cover Dustin’s eyes, often forgetting that his friend is no longer fourteen years old.

“Holy fuck…” Eddie mumbles out as his eyes went from breasts, to asses, to another pair of breasts–

“Yeah, this is what you’ve been missing out on all these years. I told Steve to come so many times because trust me, I know he would love it.” Dustin chuckles as Eddie follows suit. He knew that Steve was a flirt, and yes, he was stupid for saying no to Dustin. Screw him now because Eddie was the one to always second Dustin to conventions now.

“I don’t know anything about what they’re dressed as…” He points at a few girls that are dressed with very tiny strings and underwear with a lot of plastic armor around them. “But fuck that’s hot.”

“That’s Kill la Kill.”

“Dustin… I don’t care…” Dustin couldn’t help but laugh, nodding at Eddie to keep moving. He kept walking as his eyes couldn’t stop looking all over the place, not looking at where he was going, only for him to run into someone, plastic crashing onto his chin as he yelped in pain and stepped back in order to hold it.

“Shit, I’m so sorry!” A muffled voice says, and he looks at the person he ran into, only to see a girl dressed in a black tight motorbike suit that fits her body like a glove. The zipper on her chest was pulled down slightly for her cleavage to show and he almost kept his stare there, but he snapped out as the girl moved and his eyes looked up to see her wearing a yellow cat bike helmet, a very black visor at front and the cat ears pointing up. Eddie can pretty much guess that’s what hit his chin.

“Yeah, don’t– Don’t worry about it.” Dustin immediately got in between them both and handed his phone to Eddie.

“Holy shit, your Celty cosplay is so perfect! Can I have a picture with you?” A muffled giggle was heard behind the helmet and she nodded. Eddie got the camera app out on Dustin’s phone as the girl and him got in position for the picture and Eddie almost laughed at how Dustin was taking his tongue out as she poked his cheek with her black latex glove. Eddie took the picture and handed the phone to Dustin.

“Thank you! And sorry again pretty boy!” She says to Eddie and he was taken aback by how straightforward she was as she skipped away.

“I love that character, and her cosplay was fucking spot on.” Dustin looked at the picture with a smile to his face and put his phone back into his pocket. Eddie believed that taking pictures with cosplayers that were just minding their own business as they walked was a little bit embarrassing, but they didn’t seem to mind, but kind of seemed delighted by it. Dustin explained to him that cosplayers don’t have to be bothered if seen eating or resting, or if you see them heading for a bathroom.

Eddie nodded in acknowledgement at that as they kept walking, and he watched Dustin purchase many figurines from animes he liked, and Eddie wasn’t going to lie but there was a particular figure he found interest in. It was a demon looking guy with big black wings, an apple in one hand and he was hunched over.

“Who’s this?”

“That’s Ryuk, he’s from Death Note. I told you to watch that one, you will like it.” Eddie hums in approval, and he acknowledges Dustin’s recommendation noting to watch that later.

When he finally reaches the cosplayer gallery… His jaw almost drops to the floor.

There stood that Celty cosplay girl only this time, her helmet was off.

You were smiling as you signed pictures of yourself as people purchased them from your stand. He cursed at himself for not knowing it was you the person he ran into an hour ago because if he knew, he would have gotten a picture with you as well.

“Wanna go say hi to her?” Dustin asks as he smirks up at his friend and Eddie just scoffs, shaking his head.

“No. She is just your typical internet influencer, asking for donations for–” He blinked in surprise when he saw a few people walking over to you with shirts that said something in the back. You were smiling wildly as you excitedly talked to all of them. All of these people were grown adults, a few elderly ones, and when he squinted his eyes he could see what the shirts said in the back.

‘Epilepsy Foundation’

They were all purchasing prints for you as you tried to decline it, not wanting these people to buy stuff from you as you shook your head. They all still purchased a picture for you, and then when they all got together for a picture that another cosplayer helped take for all of you, he saw these people with bands over their foreheads that said your name. Eddie’s heart warmed immediately as he saw you wiping a tear away as these people clapped for you. There wasn’t a camera on sight to catch that moment, making it more intimate and more genuine.

“Dustin… I think I fell in love.”

Eddie became a fan.

He knew it and he didn’t care. You were kind, amazing, beautiful and selfless. He was waiting for the next convention to happen in town knowing there were a few ones that were small, just for the people around the area. He also donated any time he could, even if it were two dollars, or three, maybe sometimes ten, but it was always something.

He was now laying on his bed, scrolling through tik tok and that’s when he got the notification of you going live on Instagram. His eyes almost bulged out of his skull and he immediately, desperately, pressed onto the notification, directing it straight to your live. He almost sighed out in happiness as he saw your face coming onto the screen. There was little to nothing of makeup on your face and he was just mesmerized as you greeted everyone.

He deliberated if to say hi to you or not. He gulped as he typed out a small ‘Hey’ and a smiley face which made him cringe and delete it. Would it be too cold? He wasn’t believing that you would see it anyways, so he just sent it like that. You were still greeting people and your eyes perked up suddenly.

“Oh, hi Eddie! Thank you for donating all this time, I am grateful for that!”

He couldn’t believe it as he quickly sat up on his bed. His heart was in his throat as he stared at the screen completely speechless. You acknowledged him. You noticed his username is the same one he uses for the donation app. You know about him and… Fuck did he have cringey photos in his instagram feed? He knows he has one with Steve and then one with Dustin but he doesn’t know if–

What makes him think you stalked his instagram page? He shook his head at the thought and took a deep breath in as he typed in another message. You were talking about your upcoming events and he pressed send to his message.

‘Hopefully I have the balls to ask for your picture this time.’

Another message he doesn’t think you will see with over five hundred people watching your live, and that thought was proved wrong once more when you giggled as you fake gasped with a hand over your chest.

“Am I that scary? Also, how’s your chin?”

Eddie’s jaw fell open, instantly. Holy fucking shit. Holy flying fuck. You remembered him. You remembered him from when he ran into you with Dustin a month ago… You stalked his instagram profile. You did. You obviously fucking did. It seems that you noticed your mistake because he saw how your face flushed as you tried changing subject back to the next event you will be attending.

He was speechless right now. He was sure that there were many people donating hundreds, way more money than he was able to give out, yet you noticed him for some reason? What does it mean? Why does he feel hopeful? What for? He gulped as he looked at the screen, and confidence rose up in his chest as he wrote the following message.

‘You forgot to kiss it better.’

And his confidence only grew when you responded to him again with a smile to your face.

“Well, remind me of that at the next con.”

He was pissed.

He was extremely pissed.

He was being dragged here and there at the convention because it wasn’t just Dustin this time. Mike and Will came along and he didn’t want to leave them alone because they were acting like little kids all over again, going from stand to stand, from game to game, and all Eddie wanted to do was to rush towards the Cosplayer Alley to be able to meet you.

“I am hungry.” Mike voices out as he doesn’t even ask for the group’s approval as he walks out to the food court that was outside. Eddie groans heavily as his anger just keeps raising up, and he gets the cigarettes out of his pocket and tells Dustin to just stay put at the hot dog stand. He walked away from the tables people were sitting at eating just to be respectful for the smoke and then, when he was about to light up his cigarette, a small voice was heard from behind him.

“Hey… Can I have a smoke?”

He turned around to clash eyes with colored lenses that were in a blue tone. White hair dripped down again, but this time a half braid was around the head and towards the back. A white dress that had black dragon wings at the torso that held a white cape over her shoulders.

“Well shit, I can’t believe Daenerys Targaryen is asking for a smoke.” Eddie was surprised he could make a joke as you finally giggle, a smile spreading over your lips, walking closer to him. His hands were shaking as he held onto his pack and opened it for you to take one stick out. You put it on your lips and he raised the lighter up as you leaned forward to light the cigarette up. After a long inhale, you finally let it out, a curtain of smoke filling the air above you.

“Yeah… This costume is… doing something today and I needed to relax a bit.” You say shyly as you look down towards the floor. Eddie’s heart was beating out of his throat, taking a drag out of his own cigarette this time as he looked at you. He looked behind him to see a beverage stand, licking his lips as he squinted his eyes and then back at you.

“You want a beer?” He didn’t even know if you liked beer, but he felt cupid shooting another arrow towards his chest when you looked up at him excitedly with a nod.

“I would like that…” You both walk to the stand to get a can of beer each, and you giggle as you guide Eddie to move to the back of the stand so that no one could see you in your cosplay having alcohol and smoking.

“So secretive.” Eddie says and he didn’t even care if the others couldn’t find him anymore. Hell, they can get lost and he will most definitely ditch them if it meant to have a moment with you alone. You giggle as you squinted slightly at his face, biting your bottom lip in thought.

“What’s… your name?” You asked it with a hint of doubt behind it but Eddie didn’t notice it, or didn’t think too much of it.

“I’m Eddie–”

“I KNEW IT!” Eddie's heart jumped out of his mouth at your scream, his eyes widening as he looked at you who was looking at him with the brightest of smiles. “I knew it was you! You are Eddie!”

“I mean, I am Eddie…” His confidence was skyrocketing again. You remembered him, definitely, from his face to his hair, and you even recognized him from just instagram pictures, which only led Eddie to wonder… How many times have you looked at them?

“The guy who doesn’t dare to take a picture with me.” You smirk as you take a sip of your beer while looking at him. He scoffs as he rolls his eyes at you, but happiness was just blossoming inside of him as he looked at you.

“I do dare, I just don’t do this convention shit so I was embarrassed at first.” You hum at his words, taking a drag out of the cigarette.

“If you don’t like them, why do you attend?” You ask him with a tilt of your head, completely confused by his response. He was speechless, his worst stumbling out of his mouth as he thought of an excuse other than just blurting out ‘Because of you’.

“M-My buddy always needs someone to accompany him… For support.” At that you made an ‘Oh’ sound, giving him a nod in understanding.

“The guy that I took a picture with when I smashed your chin?” You ask with a giggle and he felt like dying at the sound of your lovely voice. He chuckles, nodding down at you as he takes a sip of his beer.

“Yep.” You seemed like you wanted to say something to him but you held back, taking a sip out of your beer and Eddie could feel you ogling him over your cup. He wanted to ask the gods above if this was a trick of theirs, a stupid joke or a trial he had to go through because it wasn’t possible that a girl like you was looking at him with desire. It was impossible.

“Really… Then why did you come here if your friend… is with friends?” You were smirking now as he snapped out of his trance and you gave him a nod towards his back, making him turn around only to see Dustin laughing along with Mike and Will as they sat on a table eating their corn dogs. He winced in embarrassment as he turned to face you again.

“I am their ride.” He lied. He offered to be the ride. Mike told him there was no need, but Eddie refused.

“And you are drinking?”

“One beer isn’t going to kill me.” Eddie replies back and you were now looking at him, a small smile on your lips and Eddie had one thought only at that moment. One that he never thought of having. A thought that just came to him and now he realizes it has been a fantasy ever since he saw you.

He wants to fuck you in one of your cosplays.

“Oh… thought you were coming to finally ask to take a picture with me.” You say in a sultry tone as you took a drag out of your cigarette and Eddie immediately felt the tension growing between the two of you. He licked the inside of his bottom lip as he looked down at you. A smirk spread on his lips and he noticed how you straightened up, a small step forward going towards him.

You were pure in his eyes, doing all this cosplay stuff, doing charity, being incredible with the people that followed you, but he never thought you would ever look at someone like him like this. He never thought you would be this willing at the first interaction you had with him… But if he was reading the signs right, and if he was daring enough, he might get to fuck Daenerys Targaryen. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday. So might as well–

“I actually came here to ask you for your picture… and a date.”

And Eddie’s heart was taken away once more as you smirked at him, taking another step closer to him and you responded in a low and seductive tone that sent shivers down his spine and adrenaline started rushing inside of him.

“I’m free after the event.” He took another step closer to you, and he noticed the intake of breath you took in, making him grin widely.

“Yeah, I think you promised to kiss it better… Didn’t you sweet girl?”

idk man, i just couldn't stop writing this, acknowledgement to all my cosplay girlies out there.

Smutty part 2? Let's hear at what Eddie should fuck her in.

544 notes · View notes

calliecopper · 1 year

Text

Been getting back into Stranger Things recently and this is probably a hot fucking take but Nancy and Steve works 100x better than Nancy and Jonathan romantically in my humble opinion.

Stranger Things is clearly a show that leans heavily into 80's archetypes and cliches. One of the classic cliches is the popular/smart girl dating the jock guy, but then she falls in love with the loner underdog. I feel like season 1 definitely hinted at this being a possibility, but what I really loved was that they didn't actually do it. At the end of the season, Nancy gives Jonathan a kiss on the cheek, and then he walks away, and Nancy goes to sit next to Steve. It felt almost like a final goodbye to the potential romantic feelings that could've been there. It directly goes against what you'd expect the series to do, like season 1 actually does a lot, especially with the teens.

Two teenagers having sex? They should die while the smart "not like other girls" girl lives to fight the monster, right? No. The teenagers live, and the smart friend dies without anybody there to witness it.

The loner dude and the smart/popular girl are sharing a bed? There should be some tension there, right? Nope. Nancy is fucking traumatized, and she just doesn't want to feel alone; she's bonded with Jonathan through trauma, and in that moment romantic and sexual feelings are nowhere near her mind, she's simply seeking out comfort in somebody who made her feel safe in a moment of need.

There are more examples of this, how the show both honors 80's cliches while also subverting expectations. But then season 2 rolls around, and things change.

Obviously, Steve, as a character, subverts the typical 80's jock douche cliche that he very easily could've been. He has undergone the most character development and change of any character in this series, and it's clearly served well as he's now a fan favorite. This process did begin in season 2.

But season 2 also gave us the beginning of Nancy and Jonathan's romantic arc. Now I'll admit, 14 year old me was SCREAMING for them to kiss back in 2017, but as I've grown older I feel more and more icky about it. It plays right into what fans were expecting to happen, even when the characters themselves - to me - seemed to display little to no romantic interest in each other until Murray outright says it.

Nancy and Jonathan are victims of a very cheap trick to build romantic tension between two characters- outside influences and characters.

The woman after Jonathan is arrested who says that only love can make somebody be so crazy, even though Jonathan was completely justified in beating the shit out of Steve because he was being an asshole, and was not at all implied to be an act of jealousy based in feelings for Nancy.

Mike asking Nancy if she likes Jonathan, which is a question that really seems to come out of nowhere and feels like a very unlikely thing for Mike to have asked given the current situation.

Then, the most egregious of these examples, Murray telling the two characters that they have romantic tension. This breaks the very basic writing rule of "show don't tell" in the most literal way.

The only reason Nancy and Jonathan ever had tension is because of that 80's cliche, and outside people telling the characters they liked each other.

Then, you have Nancy and Steve. I find their romance in season 1 to be incredibly compelling in multiple complex and fascinating ways.

These characters are never TOLD to have tension with each other. They're never INFLUENCED to like each other. From before the show starts, they're already seeing each other. It's clear that both characters actually like each other just because they like each other, and not because of shared trauma or outside influences. A fascinating aspect of this is Steve's typical jock douche demeanor that has Nancy questioning Steve's intentions with her.

The show sets up the idea of Steve "corrupting" Nancy through Barbara. "This isn't you," she tells Nancy, right before Nancy goes upstairs to sleep with Steve, which has been set up as something she's hesitant to do. It's very clear that Nancy is petrified that Steve is only interested in her for sex, and after she does sleep with him it's clear that she feels a sense of shame or upset. With the 80's cliche, this probably would be the case. Steve would've only used her for her body, then she would run into Jonathan's arms and be treated with the respect and love she deserves. But then, Steve is still interested in her. He actively defends her against his friends when they're teasing her about Barbara. He's shown to be worried about her multiple times between Barbara's disappearance and when he finds her with Jonathan.

Steve is given redeeming qualities that show how much he genuinely cares for Nancy, even if he is somewhat consumed with his own woes. Then, on the flip side, we see genuine conflict that feels a little less forced than that between Nancy and Jonathan. Steve is self-consumed and more concerned with getting in trouble than giving the police valuable information about Barbara's disappearance. This is incredibly believable for his character at this point. Then, when he thinks Nancy is cheating, he's a complete douche to both Nancy and Jonathan, and rightly gets his shit kicked in for it.

But then he shows genuine remorse for his actions in helping clean up the theater, and then going to apologize to JONATHAN. Not only to Nancy in order to get back into her good graces, but to the other person he GENUINELY hurt because he GENUINELY wants to right that wrong.

Now this isn't a "Jonathan is a horrible character" party, he definitely is a good character, and Steve is not "better" just because he's a fan favorite.

I have a difficult time articulating my thoughts clearly and stringing them together to make them coherent, but my point is:

I feel like Nancy and Jonathan would've worked way better as platonic best friends bonded through trauma. I feel like this would've allowed Jonathan to operate more as his own character instead of being turned into "Nancy's sidekick" for most of the series. It also would've allowed Nancy to just have a friend even after Barbara's death.

I also feel like Nancy and Steve would've worked better as a sort of "slow burn, right person wrong time" romantic relationship. Nancy is no doubt traumatized and feels guilt for Barbara's death, which happened to take place while she was with Steve. The basis of the Nancy/Steve fight that ultimately ends their relationship is that Nancy doesn't feel like she can just move on. To paraphrase, Nancy is saying "Pretending like we're in love, like we're just dumb teenagers at a dumb party, like we didn't kill Barb, is bullshit." Then Steve, still being a bit of the self-consumed guy he is, focuses only on the "like we're in love" piece. "You don't love me?" he asks. And I think that this just pisses Nancy off. I'm telling you that we killed Barbara, that I can't live with myself and this guilt, and you're worried about our relationship? "It's bullshit."

I don't necessarily think that Nancy didn't love Steve. I think that she simply wasn't in the right place to love ANYBODY. And I think he was still too immature for Nancy to maintain a relationship with him.

Nancy can't be with Steve because she's simply too consumed with her guilt, and Steve is too consumed with maintaining a sense of normalcy to confront that guilt head on. She NEEDED Jonathan in that moment, because he shared that guilt in feeling responsible for Will's disappearance. He had just as much a desire to burn Hawkins Lab to the ground. It wasn't until Steve was FORCED to grow up in order to protect Dustin, Max, and Lucas that he finally let go of that desire to be normal.

I think both Nancy and Steve needed those two-ish seasons to grow and heal for them to even consider reigniting that flame. Then, in season 4, when Nancy sees Steve as somebody finally willing to do the hard thing and be an adult, I think she finally starts to consider allowing herself to love him again.

So, in my ideal version of events, Nancy and Jonathan would've been really close platonic friends, and Nancy and Steve would've been tragic lovers who simply couldn't find the right time for each other.

Anyways that's my word vomit. Don't take this as a ship war thing cause that's stupid I think everything is good I just wanted to express my preferences

#stranger things #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #stancy #jancy #anyways im ready for the hate of jancy stans :)#i accept that jancy is endgame i just think its the weakest endgame romance #but this isnt meant to start ship wars cause i dont have time for that shit

102 notes · View notes

in-deep · 1 year

Text

If you could only pick one piece of Byler evidence to convince someone that Byler is endgame, what would you pick?

First off - I wrote this stream of consciousness style so please be kind aha.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this question and I think it’s simply the fact that if Mike is in fact straight, then what is his character arc?

Let me explain.

A lot of the GA view Mike as a glorified side character - sidelined after S2 to fulfil the role of El’s incompetent boyfriend whilst simultaneously leaving Will (his best friend) behind and treating him like a dick. The GA also view Mike as straight. For many GA viewers, the idea that Mike is gay/bi, let alone in love with Will, seems implausible and were it to happen, it would come out of nowhere.

Which leaves the question of: what is Mike’s character arc?

From this GA perspective, he doesn’t have one. He’s destined to make up with El in S5 and support her independence, and kindly turn Will down and go on with being besties like the supportive guy they remember him being in S1/S2. If anything, his character has regressed from the early seasons into a douchebag - a mouth breather.

Not to mention that from this perspective, he has no real internal or external trauma to be unpacked. While this is obviously untrue as it has been made clear by the Duffer brothers and even within the show (Mike’s suicide attempt, Wheeler family discussion around his behaviour at school) that he is struggling with depression, that doesn’t seem to play into their predictions on his ending. If anything, many GA viewers don’t really view his character’s conclusion in S5 as something important because to them, (just to repeat my earlier point) he’s just a glorified side character.

Of course, if you watch the show carefully and focus on Mike, you’ll quickly realise that his character is dealing with a lot of the direct pressures of heteronormativity and internalised homophobia:

His family is your classic nuclear family, Nancy talks about the Wheeler family dynamic extensively in a heart-to-heart with Jonathan

S1 has a lot of homophobia - all of it is about Will, but a lot of it is targeted and directed toward Mike

There are multiple times he is visually shown to come to realisations about his feelings toward El and Will, respectively. Now I won’t analyse those in this post because technically, none of the contents of those realisations have been made clear to the audience, it’s just my own interpretations. I’m sure this will come back in S5, though.

To show Mike’s queerness in S5 is not changing his sexuality, simply just revealing what has been shown to the audience the entire time. Stranger Things is brilliant at show vs. tell. They tell us something, and then show us something entirely different or even something that directly contradicts what we were told. Much of the GA don’t pick up on this (and tbf I don’t really expect them to, it’s intended to be subtle!).

To reveal concretely that Mike is queer and in love with Will would change everything. It would be shocking! The GA would lose their minds - and many people would, at first, struggle to believe it. But upon rewatching the show, it would all make sense. It would turn what many view as an unimportant character into one of the most well thought-out and planned queer stories in media history (definitely an exaggeration but bear with me aha, I’m not normal about these boys).

What people thought to be an incompetent boyfriend and an absolute dick to his best friend for two seasons in a row would turn out to actually be a deeply traumatised boy struggling to remain on the “normal” path (quote from Finn Wolfhard on Mike), within the bounds of heteronormativity. A boy who desperately wants to play DnD and Nintendo with his best friend, but realises that what he feels for him isn’t “normal”. It would reveal so much about Mike and all the things we never got to see from his perspective.

And in terms of my predictions, I’m absolutely a believer in Mike being Vecna’d, and we’ll finally see Mike’s point of view on all of this. Just imagine Vecna taunting him about how he failed to be normal. He failed to do the “right” thing. He’s been in love with Will since before he even realised it.

So yeah. Byler is real. Byler is endgame. And I’m 10000% certain that Mike is going to become an extremely popular character once we get his insight. He’ll also absolutely need a hug once all is said and done. I will be hysterical.

But at least he’ll have his cleric <3.

A really good video on Mike's internalised homophobia that essentially sparked me to write this post in the first place, and I highly recommend if you haven't seen it yet, was this one (@lesbianmindflayer) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6IOlmBEEgE&t=80s&ab_channel=LesbianMindflayer

But yeah! What would you pick as your one piece of evidence?

#byler #byler analysis #mike wheeler is gay #mike wheeler is bi #mike wheeler is queer #mike wheeler #byler is endgame #byler is real #stranger things 5 #st5 predictions #mike wheeler needs a hug #i will defend mike wheeler as long as i breathe #i love him so much #let him play dnd and nintendo with will pls #just one scene in s5 of them getting to hang out pls #duffer brothers ill do anything

89 notes · View notes

tinyboxxtink · 8 months

Text

"Summer Of '87" {Chapter 10}

Tag List:

@gingertimelord

@witchwolflea

@loliakeoghan23

@fancytragedything

@eg-dr3amer3

@wanniiieeee

Hey hi hello!

Sorry these are slow, to be honest with you I jumped into this story with no set plot, so I'm winging it. So if you'd like to see this go somewhere, suggestions are welcome! I know there's gotta be some kind of catastrophic vent, i just don't know what yet.

Also forewarning:

The NEXT chapter will be very MA. SO, y'know, get ready for that.

Chapter 9

----------------

The next morning you woke up in Eddie’s arms. He had stripped down to his boxers due to the heat from your bodies,and his sweat stuck to your shoulder.

“Mmm, wake up baby,” you nudged him softly. “We gotta get downstairs before they start looking for us,”

“Mmmmm, five more minutes,” he whined softly.

“Alright, I’ll go fix us some coffee.” you chuckled as you changed into fresh clothes.

Eddie turned to respond but saw you in your undergarments and let out a small gasp.

“I’m up I’m up!” He sat up excitedly.

“Oh lord,” you giggled while pulling your shirt on. “Tonight, baby. I promise,”

“You’re so mean,” he pouted as there was a knock on the door.

“Eddie? Y/N?” Dustin’s voice called softly. “Please tell me you're dressed,”

“See?!” you hissed as you tossed him his pants. “What would’ve happened if we were…y’know?!”

“No i don’t know because we haven’t done anything,” he teased as he stood up to go change in your bathroom.

“You’re gonna get it later,” you threatened him with violence.

“Oh I hope so,” he grinned, taking it sexually.

You flipped him a playful bird as he shut the door and you opened yours.

“Hey!” you smiled brightly. “We’re good, just heading down actually!”

“Cool,” Dustin sighed in relief. “Steve made breakfast,”

“He did what?!” you half laughed in disbelief as you both walked down the hall to the stairs. The smell of bacon began filling your nostrils as you headed down into the kitchen.

Steve was indeed flipping pancakes while Nancy was serving eggs and Jonathan poured the kids orange juice. All the kids sat at your huge dining room table; they all greeted you when you walked down.

“Hey, I hope you don’t mind,” Steve gestured to his pan. “The kids were hungry, and you were so cool last night I wanted to make up for being a dick,”

“Oh, you weren’t that bad,” you assured him as you took a seat at the bar. “But I appreciate the sentiment. I don’t think this kitchen has ever smelled this good,”

“What?” he laughed. “You’re telling me mommy and daddy didn’t have a gourmet chef in here cooking you breakfast?”

“Steve,” Nancy nudged him. “You’re doing it again,”

“My bad,” Steve made a face.

“It’s fine,” you waved your hand in dismissal. “And no, my parents wouldn’t ‘waste their money’ on something frivolous as a chef. Not when they had plenty of money to eat out,”

“Wouldn’t that be more expensive than a…?” Robin started to ask.

“I don’t bother trying to interpret my parent’s crazy, Robin,” you stopped her with a small, sad chuckle.

Eddie walked down soon after, causing greater greetings from the group.

“Wow, Harrington,” Eddie walked over and wrapped his arms around your waist. “You’re even more of a mom than I thought,”

“Ha ha,” Steve rolled his eyes. “And where have you been?”

“Nunya” Eddie stuck his tongue out.

“Nice,” you rolled your eyes playfully.

“Hey!” he exclaimed. “That was a great comeback,”

“Sure it was baby,” you kissed the tip of his nose.

“Baby?” Mike made a face. “So you guys are together?” he glanced at Dustin in protection.

“I said it was okay,” Dustin assured him. “I think they’re cute,”

“Oh like you and Suzie poo?” Erika asked while the others laughed.

“Who is Suzie Poo?” You raised an eyebrow as you asked.

“Dustin’s girlfriend,” Eddie grinned as Dustin turned red.

“A girlriend?!” you gasped. “Well, I think I’m gonna have to meet this girlfriend of yours,”

“Good luck,” he laughed. “She lives in Utah,”

Utah?” you made a face. “Then how--?”

“Math camp,” Dustin answered before you finished.

“Math camp?” you repeated, stifling a laugh.

Hey!” Dustin was even more offended. “Not even a day as my sister and you’re giving me shit?”

“Sister?” El asked, looking between you two. “She is your sister?”

“Yeah, don’t you remember?”

“But you said she is a lying sk--”

“NO,” Mike slapped a hand over her mouth. “No, no we didn’t,”

“Uh huh,” you crossed your arms.

“Okay maybe we did, but we were only saying it for Dustin,”

“Riiiight,” you nodded, more than a little hurt.

“I’m sorry,” El said apologetically. “I do not like being cruel to people. Friends don’t lie,”

“Uh…okay,” you nodded awkwardly, not really understanding her but took the apology.

“ANYWAY,” Dustin spoke over the two of you. “We’re all friends now! And Y/N is my sister, so everyone’s happy. Right?”

“Hell yeah!” Lucas smiled. “Now we can use the pool anytime!”

“Anytime we ASK, Lucas.” Max corrected him.

“Right,” Lucas mumbled while digging into his food that was now served.

“Well I can use it whenever I want,” Dustin beamed.

“And if Dustin wants to have you guys over, just make sure you have an adult with you.” You informed them while getting coffee.

“Adult?” WIll laughed. “Do you qualify any of our siblings to be ‘adults’?”

“Hey I’m nobody’s sibling!” Steve protested.

“Like it or not man, you’re their big brother.” Eddie slapped his back.

“More like babysitter,” Erika snickered.

“Alright, anyone over 18,” you clarified, trying to stop the arguing.

“So can we swim after breakfast?” El asked hopefully while wolfing down waffles.

“I mean, sure,” you shrugged while glancing at the “Adults”. “As long as your parents aren’t concerned…”

“Dude they LITERALLY never check on us,” Dustin laughed.

“He’s right,” Mike agreed. “We broke into a crazy science lab and helped El save the world without them even asking a question.”

“Wow,” you half laughed. “And I thought my parents were absent,”

“So can we stay?” WIll smiled. You were amazed at how cheerful his demeanor was after all the shit that he went through.

“Sure,” you nodded as you finished your coffee. “I’ll just change into my suit,”

“Well, I need to go home and shower, I’ve got grown up things to do today,” Nancy shook her head as she looked for her purse.

“Grown up things?” you giggled. “It’s summer!”

“I have a job, thank you.” Nancy acted more than offended.

“She’s the editor at the Hawkins Gazette” Jonathan clarified.

“Oh, sorry. That must be so esteemed,” you tried not rolling your eyes.

“Whatever, we’ll see you later I’m sure,” Nancy rolled her own eyes as her and Jonathan walked out and to the door.

“She’s a delight, really,” you chuckled as you refilled your coffee cup.

“She just takes some getting used to,” Steve laughed himself. “Trust me, took me months to get her to go out with me,”

“Yeah, I still don’t know how you put up with her,” you shook your head as the kids took off to the backyard.

“Hey, Nancy is a badass,” Robin suddenly spoke up after entering the kitchen last.

“Where have you been, slacker?” Steve teased.

“I hate mornings,” she pouted as she went to get some coffee.

“Well I should go see my uncle,” Eddie stretched out as he talked, revaealing a bit of his happy trail. You did your best not to blush.

“I didn’t see him last night, he’s probably worried,” he continued while taking your hands. “Unlike them my ‘parent’ actually gives a shit,”

“Hey!” Robin hit him. “My mom’s concerned if I'm not home 10 minutes after my shift,”

“Ouch,” you giggled. “I’d rather have a absent mom than an overbearing one,”

“Tell me about it,” she sighed as she went to get dressed. “Twenty minutes dingus or I’m leaving without you!”

“She means me,” Steve sighed as he put the dishes in the dishwasher.

“Yeah, I kinda got that,” you teased. “Esteemed career calling you too?”

“Oh yeah,” he laughed sarcastically. “That video store would fall apart without me,”

“Ooooh, Family Video?” your eyes lit up. “We should go rent a movie later!”

“Please don’t,” Steve begged. “Munson likes to show up and fuck with me,”

“It’s so easy, Harringto,” he chuckled. “I can’t help it,”

“Yeah yeah,” Steve rolled his eyes as he gathered his stuff. Soon Robin came down dressed as well, and they headed out.

“Well would ya look at that?” Eddie smirked while moving his mouth to your neck from behind you. “House all to ourselves,”

“Eddie, the kids are outside,” You moaned softly.

“Babe they’re almost taller than I am, I think they’ll be okay for a bit,”

“A bit?” you looked at him quizzically. “And how long is a bit?”

“Long enough for us to take a shower…together,” he winked, making your face turn beet red.

“Mmmm, that does sound tempting,” you sighed.

“I promise to be quick,” his eyes flickered with mischief.

“Not too quick though,” you stuck your tongue out as he raced you up the stairs.

The kids would be fine for a bit, right?

---------------------------------------

if you llke what you read, please considering buying me a Ko-Fi☕, it's the only source of income I have right now. https://ko-fi.com/tinyboxtink

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson imagine #stranger things #stranger things 4 #joseph quinn

20 notes · View notes

thranduel · 2 years

Text

if i ever hear anyone complain about will liking mike or “getting in the way of m*leven” i will absolutely lose my mind

will has known mike for most of his life and it’s highly possible that he liked him before el even came into the picture. either way, they’ve been best friends since kindergarten and have the closest and most genuine relationship (like i’ve said many times, you can tell they’re most comfortable with each other because they can actually be themselves with each other), and even if will only started developing feelings for him more recently, he can’t control that and he’s not “getting in the way” of anyone (also, you have no idea what’s going through mike’s head, so how do you know there’s no chance of him having feelings for will? this is a fictional character. he hasn’t personally told anyone anything and it’s not impossible for him to have feelings for both will and el). anyways they were literally each other’s first friend and they’ve experienced so much together growing up. mike and will were best friends long before mike and el were boyfriend and girlfriend. so stop acting like mike is el’s property (and vice versa) and stop feeling threatened by a harmless boy who’s already been through enough and isn’t doing anything wrong. he’s most likely gonna get his heartbroken anyways because he always does so i don’t understand why people are so threatened by will and byler in general when the show has made it clear that they care about m*leven the most and they’re probably gonna stay together until the end since they’re apparently “married with no option of divorce” (which doesn’t really sound healthy but anyways moving on lol)

also please just stop and imagine how it would feel to be will because i feel like people don’t talk about this enough. if el didn’t accidentally open the gate and release the demogorgon in the first place, will wouldn’t have been kidnapped and traumatised and had his life changed forever. also mike wouldn’t have gone searching for him which means he wouldn’t have met el in the woods who he would later fall in love with (and then end up excluding will and forgetting about him because he’s too consumed with his relationship with her). and obviously i know el didn’t mean to do any of that, but just imagine how devastating and heartbreaking that would be for will to constantly be reminded of that. will’s life could’ve turned out so differently if that gate wasn’t opened. it literally changed everything for him. he never would’ve had that anxiety and trauma from the upside down and maybe things could’ve been different for him and mike, or at least their friendship could’ve still been so strong and nothing would’ve gotten in the way of that. it’s so unfair that he’s still dealing with his trauma AND it feels like he’s lost his best friend. i don’t even think i would be able to handle half of what will has been through without absolutely breaking. he’s truly the strongest and kindest character on this show because even after everything, he hasn’t changed as a person and he still manages to keep his head up. he’s so kind and gentle and selfless to everyone around him even when he gets ignored and forgotten about. and i know will loves el and they have a really sweet sibling bond (just look at how he was worried for her at school) but there will always be that devastating reminder of the things that happened in his childhood and especially when he sees her with mike, and that’s literally something he can’t control or forget about. you can’t blame him for rolling his eyes, moping around and feeling hurt ESPECIALLY after everything he’s been through. seeing mike and el together is hard enough for him, but it would be even harder because he’s struggling with his sexuality during a time where being gay wasn’t accepted AND because he has feelings for his best friend who he probably thinks will never like him in return

will seriously means so much to me, and because i relate to him in some ways and he’s my comfort character, i can’t help but put myself in his shoes and think about how he feels sometimes and it’s absolutely heartbreaking, especially because no one really talks about this. people just always start fighting about ships like it’s a competition and attack will as though he just came out of nowhere like he’s “trying to steal mike” and i’m actually sick of it. like please shut up because you know absolutely nothing

#i am a will byers protector always and i needed to get this off my chest #will byers #mike wheeler #byler #stranger things #stranger things spoilers #stranger things 4 #mike x will

116 notes · View notes

yurtletheturtlehenderson · 2 years

Text

CHANGES ARE COMING

Yep. You heard it right! The COSMIC series is about to get some big changes. (Not really). And please note, cause I cannot stress this enough, these changes pertain to the fem copy and the fem copy ONLY.

WHAT'S CHANGING:

●This particular pronoun copy ONLY is moving away from Will Byers as the love interest.

○I know, you might be thinking "but what about that A/N saying you were never gonna change it?". The one I wrote in book 3, E Pluribus Unum part 3 is the one I'm speaking of and it has been updated for a while. I suggest you go look at it cause I'm not sure I can sum it up as well as I did there.

●Relatively speaking, previous books will not change. My current plan is to carry the show on out from s4 in a new direction while still putting a respectful spin on Will's sexuality in the previous 3 books. Again, without changing canon sexuality.

○No, i will not "tweak" his sexuality in any way. He is gay, and shown to be canonically uncomfortable by female affection on top of his feelings for Mike. This will carry over into COSMIC. Please just trust me. I promise I have every intention to get this right!

WHY IT'S CHANGING:

●Out of respect for Will's canon sexuality.

● As a lesbian, I wish I had fics that explored the concept of compulsory heterosexuality when I was younger and reading every TMR Newt x Reader I could get my hands on. (Yes, I was a Newt girl back in the day lol). Nobody has to relate to it, some people have even said it made things more confusing, but in my personal experience i just wish I had had been made aware of the concept. That's all. I can't stress enough I'm not trying to push that on you. And why I'm hesitant to try and explain it correctly on here. And no, it likely will not be referenced by name at all in the series.

●Just as much as it is to give you the readers a chance freedom to explore yours.

○Whether you see yourself in Y/n Henderson, or Will Byers. No one is saying you have to go out and experiment, it's just a story for entertainment and escape, but

●COSMIC has evolved far beyond what I ever thought it would be in the best way possible. And because of that, there are times where I wonder/find myself wanting to allow Y/n to be with other characters. You might have a few in mind, and they're probably right on the money.

WHO WILL BE THE NEW LI?:

●I, unfortunately, will not be answerthing that today. I will eventually, but given VOL 2 is about to premiere, we dont know who could bite it, what could happen, where the story will go exactly, what will be set up for s5, etc, I am hesitant to make it official.

●I've disclosed who I hope to elect to be the new LI to a very small hand full of people and likely won't be telling anyone else until I make the decision and next announcement. But I do have someone in mind I hope to make the new LI, but even that won't likely happen until s5 even if it does pan out cause I want a grace period for Y/n and Will. They're not just gonna go through this change together, but they're doing so on top of all these traumatic events (piling on top of existing trauma).

●It wouldn't even be the end of the world if there wasn't an LI in the end! Because romantic relationships, as beautiful and important as they are in human nature (this does vary from person to person, granted), they aren't what make us human. Friendships, the connection we have to our family, and the world around us are equally as beautiful and important and I'm stating right now I'm not totally closed off to the idea of carrying the rest of this out with no LI!

WHEN WILL WE KNOW?:

●Well, I gotta watch vol 2 tonight and if who I have picked out a) lives and b) ends up in the right place (emotionally and plot wise, but mostly emotionally) then I can actually make the decision official. Whether or not I announce it before or after I plan s4 remains to be seen

THIS ISNT NEW:

●Yes, I definitely tried to hold on in one way or the other to this idea of a Will x fem reader even as recently as just before the vol 1 premiere which isn't something I'm exactly proud of or glad I did. But I am a firm believer in making mistakes and being able to recognize them and learn from them! That's what I'm trying to do here. That, and, again I still kinda find myself battling my internalized homophobia/self hatred (emphasis on self). But! Will's sexuality (and Mike's for that matter) have been written in and been built up since season 2 of COSMIC. It is not a new theme in COSMIC. At. All.

WHERE TO FIND MORE INFO:

●My wattpad bio. If you look at the fem reader under my list of stories it will direct you to the link in my description will lead you to:

○An answered ask on tumblr that dives into my mistake when choosing the LI and how it's evolved this point. Try not to be warded off by the topic of the ask, I'm not anti byler, I was just explaining I'm not a super fan cause sometimes I feel like Will deserves better than Mike (for personal reasons). Not that he shouldn't gay or whatever. Also, toxic shippers in general. Anyways, it's got a bunch of links to other asks that dive into the topic of doing justice to Will's sexuality and the future of fem!COSMIC. Frankly, I'd appreciate if you followed this link trail (and sources below) first before asking more questions, I've answered this q kind of a lot.

○The first few opening chapters of the fem!COSMIC. Where all the info is on the pronoun copies.

○The descriptions of the fem books themselves.

○Anything in the COSMIC books that says 'announcement' or 'please read'.

○My announcement board. If you don't see it right away, that's cause I got messages on top of it. But, as of now, it's still the latest announcement I made on my wattpad message board.

○The #cosmic and #f!cosmic tags on tumblr

○This very announcement chapter. It's not unlikely I might come back and add something (noticeably at the v bottom) if I realized I forgot something.

●Again, I'm fine answering questions but I kindly ask you look/ask around first (others are more likely to help than you think!)

Well, that's all for now I suppose. I meant to get this out earlier but it just didn't happen. But it's here now! And it's official, Will Byers and Y/n Henderson are coming to an end. But fret not! You really think they could ever hate each other?! Please! There's nothing but love and encouragement there. There always has been and there always will be.

For now, let's all cross our fingers and send some good vibes to our faves on making it through vol 2 in one piece. Safe travels my friends, and I wish you well!

💕💕💕 - Yurtle

#stranger things #cosmic #will byers x reader #will byers x fem!reader #will byers x platonic!reader #y/n henderson #will byers

43 notes · View notes

byersdefender · 2 years

Text

i have seen people do it so here i am too! sexuality hcs for the characters plus are they homophobic or not

eleven: would love her to be a lesbian however i recognize that she probably isn’t so i must say bisexual but like extremely repressed and she probably finds out in her late 20s or something. probably asexual too

mike: bisexual or gay i won’t take criticism, but he has insane internalized homophobia in actually hurts

will: gay (canon) and madly in love with mike

lucas: straight and very supportive! he loves his friends no matter what plus he has bi gf energy

dustin: straight, asexual and also supportive, calls people out if they make vaguely homophobic comments

max: bisexual. end of story

steve: i wanna say bisexual but i feel like he’s straight yk? he thought he liked boys too for like two years and then realized he doesn’t. or maybe he does but like he’s on thin ice. ok nvm he’s bisexual i changed my mind while writing this

nancy: bisexual icon, bisexual legend! her and jonathan are a bi4bi couple

jonathan: bisexual, probably thought he liked boys too when he was younger but then he met nancy and didn’t even think about his sexuality for a lot of time because he was so focused on her and didn’t care enough

robin: lesbian (canon) pretty much always knew

eddie: ok hear me out. he has been a victim of homophobia because he “looks” gay but is actually straight. and supportive of course

erica: lesbian. no doubt. she knows it and she’s proud of it

murray: he’s a chaotic bisexual

joyce: straight and she is now really supportive. before she used to sometimes say some vaguely homophobic things without even doing it on purpose due to casual homophobia being so normal but now she knows better

hopper: he kissed a couple boys in his 20s and that made him realize he’s straight. he pretends not to care about gay people but he actually does and is really protective of eleven and will.

billy: straight and homophobic

#byler #elmax #sexuality hcs #stranger things #jancy

45 notes · View notes

goblinsneversaydie · 2 years

Text

is it wrong that i actually liked the way the show is handling will’s pining storyline? allow me to explain: it feels so real to me, i cried for the character because i relate to his situation on such a personal level. i was in love with my best friend since i was 12, my feelings for her didn’t leave until i was 18. she’s heterosexual, i’m (obviously) not and i had to sit there with her, give her relationship advice and encouragement for every guy she ever had any amount of interest in. i had to watch her fall in and out of love with people, and hide my feelings behind my encouragement because i knew my feelings would destroy our friendship and that i would be coming out to her at the cost of losing her. it was painful, it was traumatizing and it made me miss out on so many teenaged experiences because i was so hung up on her and wishing, hoping that one day she’d change her mind about me.

will’s storyline is the most heart wrenching, to me, this show has ever had because while he didn’t have the coming out so many people wanted, he is representing so many closeted, hurting kids that go through this regularly, that are living his situation. and unfortunately, life doesn’t work out the way fandoms want it to. in real life, you confess and 98% of the time, they don’t feel the same and your friendship is destroyed. and that’s in MODERN time, let alone the 80s when being anything other than heterosexual was demonized and stereotyped. will has every right to be scared, to not be ready, to not outright say he’s gay because he doesn’t know what will happen afterwards. he doesn’t know if he’ll be accepted or if his best friends will be weird around him and not want him around anymore. and let’s face it, a kid like mike in the 80s, would definitely be the type to make gay jokes and be a little homophobic. obviously they can’t portray that in the show because he’s a main character but, if I was will? I’d genuinely believe mike would be grossed out by my sexuality. I would not feel comfortable coming out to mike in general, let alone if I had feelings for him. to make matters worse, they’re like 14-15 years old? if mike was going to be uneducated and small minded at any point in life, it’d be around that age and I’m saying that from experience, my old best friend was insanely homophobic around that age and stayed that way until we were 17-ish. not too mention, they’re also from a small, obviously religious town? and probably had little to no interaction with lgbt+ people as a result? at least not any that were out of the closet. i mean, even robin, she came out when coming down from a high and you can’t even say it was because she was confident or comfortable with steve, it was obvious in her coming out scene that she was waiting for him to become upset with her. she expected a bad reaction at first. now, she’s older than will, has had more time to explore her sexuality and figure herself out, and still, she was nervous and it took all of that for her to say something. imagine will, so young and frightened and insecure, surrounded by zero support (he didn’t get jonathan’s until vol 2 and even that was more of a generalized ‘I’ll always be here’ type) and in love with his best friend. that’s fucking terrifying and when in that position, you feel like the entire world is against you and like somethings just wrong with you.

say what you want about the duffer bros writing, but they captured that feeling of helplessness, internalized hatred and pain perfectly. they took into account the situation, the background and the character, and although it wasn’t what anyone (even myself) was expecting or wanted, it was spot on. i felt like i was watching a version of myself on the screen, it took me back and made me feel like I was watching someone live part of my personal story. i sobbed like a baby at will’s van scene and at mileven’s confession, seeing him there, hearing what mike had to say, I LIVED that shit and noah and the duffer bros hit me harder than any other piece of media ever has. it was a punch in the gut and I applaud them for showing us the hard to swallow part of someone’s coming out. that’s what will is going through at the end of the season, and I have no doubt that they will turn it around and show us the closure that comes after in the next season. the letting go, the picking yourself up and realizing you’re worth more, that you deserve better. I have a strong feeling that’s where will’s story is headed and I love it. furthermore, there’s no way they didn’t know the backlash and anger they’d get for portraying it this way, especially considering pride month just ended. but they still bit the bullet and risked losing tons of viewers to portray the bitter, frustrating and cruel part of both having feelings for your best friend and struggling with your sexuality as a young teen. that takes guts and tells me that they have a plan for where will is going, that they aren’t just winging it and giving us unrealistic outcomes for a situation that is so much deeper than that and comes with so many emotions and fears. that they aren’t taking will’s sexuality at face value and tossing a half hearted happy ending in his direction just to please viewers. that they’re actually dedicated to writing a nuanced, tough to swallow, hard to watch plot that I don’t doubt will end in a much better way than people are assuming. we are seeing a vital piece of cinema history starting to play out, and i know this will go on to be the performance of noah’s life.

it isn’t poor writing or queer baiting, they’re setting us up for something so much bigger than that. and so much better than what we were expecting this season. mark my words, season five will be the most amazing performance noah and finn have ever put on, and whether it ends in mike accepting will’s feelings or not, doesn’t fucking matter because it’s not about him. it’s not about byler. it’s not about ships or what actor says what. it’s about a kid struggling to accept himself and his feelings, and pulling himself out and away from internalized homophobia, understanding what he’s worth and finding the confidence to come out on his own time and his own terms. that’s what it’s about. that scene, about being a mistake, watch it come around in full circle with will in season five, accepting that he is not a mistake and that NO ONE, not even mike, can make him feel that way because HE knows who he is and HE loves himself enough to not care anymore.

so yeah, that’s my take and how I feel about the way the season ended. feel free to tell me I’m wrong but, I have more faith in where this is going and I really think it’s going to end beautifully. I loved the plot, I loved the build up, I loved the teasing and pining and pain. it sent me back to my early teenaged years. and while he didn’t officially come out this season, they’re definitely building it up to be huge in the next.

#stranger things #will byers #noah schnapp #stranger things vol 2 spoilers #stranger things volume 2

14 notes · View notes

lovelyfandomthings · 2 years

Text

Volume 2 thoughts

The Good

Will / Noah Schnapp's acting was awesome through this whole show, particularly in the last two episodes. His facial expressions and body language portray so much emotion.

I loved the last two episodes of the Russia arc. I loved its season one vibes and I personally (maybe controversially) prefer smaller storylines and villains/monsters as world-ending events are starting to feel overdone. Plus, Hopper and Joyce's reunion was so sweet and perfect in every way.

Eddie was great and the concert scene was awesome. Plus his relationship with Dustin and Steve was so sweet and lovely.

The scene between Will and Johnathan and the scene where Will talks to Mike about 'Eleven' was heart-wrenching. As someone who relates to Will a lot these scenes really hit home.

The Satanic panic and religion being incorporated into this show really gave it an air of reality and grounded it.

Dustin speaking to Mr. Munson was so sad yet heartwarming. I loved that scene.

The Bad

The two-day skip was the laziest thing I've ever seen, what happened to Eddie's body? how'd they get out of the upsidedown, did they get Max's letters? Could've just made an episode 10 and made the episodes a tad shorter.

Baited by the 5 deaths since it was only Owens, Jason and Papa who honestly aren't liked anyways. Eddies death was sad but the Duffers said the nExt day he was going to be in season 5 so- Disappointed, they need to kill some main characters for real. If Max had actually died that would have been devastating but they had to revive her.

Will's 'coming out' was so vague. Yes, it was clear to me but there is no doubt in my mind many fans did not realize as I've seen posts of fans thinking the scene was in regards to him not wanting to grow up etc. I do not want Byler and I do not expect him to say "I'm gay" as it is the 80s. I just want a scene where he comes out to his mom or Johnathan (or his friends) in a clear concise way that leaves no room for doubt like Robin in Season 3. The queerbaiting comes in with the cast and crew constantly talking about how his sexuality would be explicitly discussed and explored which it simply was not. If they had said nothing about his sexuality being discussed this would not be queerbaiting, but they did and I expected more.

There was also a few continuity errors that were not a huge deal but should not be happening in a show that has such a large budget.

Overall

I'm sure my thought will change and I've forgotten many things as I rewatch the show but for now Volume 2 gets a

7/10

3 notes · View notes

silenceb · 1 year

Text

Journal Entry 3/13

I'm sorry. I'm hoping if I make you a journal, I'll be able to live up to my promise and not bother you again. I hate that I've become a burden to you. I never wanted to add stress to your life. I've always lived in absolute fear that you'd someday realize how useless I actually am. You made me feel like I was actually special, and I needed that more than life itself. So then, I never thought I meant as much as your actual friends. I thought I was just some lost soul that luckily stumbled upon you online and you took pity on. I never believed you could actually consider me a friend, and, when you started calling me that, I thought it was just a convenient title. I don't know how you've actually changed. I think I know what you mean, but I'm not sure if I'm right. I think you mean that you don't need sex from or you don't feel sexual towards me anymore, which, I really don't care about. I don't think you understand that our sex life, to me, was what started pushing us apart. I always wished I could have told you what I really physically needed from you, but it seemed so stupid to me that i just couldn't take the chance. Especially after hearing you thought I'd never be happy with vanilla sex and that you wouldn't be either. I'm sorry I used sex to fill the gaps in making conversation. I always told you I wasn't good at communicating, and that's true, but the whole truth is that making conversation fills me with anxiety. I'm sure I'm boring to talk to, but I'm certain that communicating is necessary to have any type of relationship. I don't know what you need in our relationship anymore, but I'm pretty sure it's me to not be in it with you. I keep saying I won't bother you, but I keep trying to force you to keep me into your life. I just wish I could talk to you, have a little time to go over all this. Define how the relationship has changed. You have the right to tell me exactly what you want and don't want. You know I'm still in love with you, but that doesn't matter. I'll love you after I'm dead no matter how long we don't talk. You made me feel like I was better just being in your presence. I now realize the effort it must have taken to do that. I'm sorry being with me was so stressful. I'm sorry it only became more so after Mike caught us. I wish you had told me the while of it back in well I guess actually July of 2020. I would have found a way to assure you is never leave you without sex. I don't know. Maybe you were hoping I would leave for something so unimportant to me. It would have been less stress on you, but leaving you means I've lost the best this world has to offer. I wish I had something to offer you now. I know our connection is lost. I never understood it, I never consciously made it happen, I don't think I ever did anything to make you feel it. I just wish I knew what I specifically did to destroy it. I know you need me to find my happiness without you, but I can't be happy because I destroyed our connection. I've had a lot of time alone in my head without you, and the then-pending 50th birthday, made me lose my mind in desperation to not only fix what I fucked up, but to not have to face my birthday without you. I know you have either blocked notifications from me or ignore them. It's been eating away at me for a long time as proof that you don't want me in your life and, furthermore, don't want to see me in it anymore. So, I'm here. I'll always be here, even though I have no hope of you ever getting in touch with me again. I hope you can someday forgive me for fucking this up, for always fucking everything up. I'll always need you. I'm sorry that I've let you know I'm unnecessary in your life.

0 notes

titan-fodder · 3 years

Text

Prima Vista Part VI

[ previous ]

Rating: E (explicit; mdni) Pairing: Mike Zacharias x fem!reader, Zeke Yeager x fem!reader wc: ~ 11.2k

Warnings: explicit sexual content, ass play, jealousy, possessive behavior, humiliation, manipulation, OC introduced (read A/N), non-con coming inside, fighting, miscommunication A/N: As I was writing this, I decided to bring original female characters in to play the “bad guys” because I didn’t wanna demonize the canon AoT girls. Just didn’t feel right. So, everyone, meet Rhi. Enjoy~

Mike is extremely fucking aware of you sitting a foot away from him on his couch. You're hunched over and whining about him beating you in Mario Kart again, and honestly, he doesn't know how he's doing it because he is so not focused on the game.

You came to the party in tight jeans and a sparkling top, and all Mike can think about is getting you out of them, spreading you out underneath him just like he used to.

But, he's not gonna say anything about it, not even gonna allude to it because he feels awful about pushing so hard at the Pike house. He never thought he'd be that type of guy, but he's been known to go a little off the rails when it comes to you.

"Have you ever played this with all banana peels?" Mike asks, trying to get his mind off of the heat he thinks he's radiating.

"What?"

"Like, you set it so all the items are bananas."

Your eyebrows raise. "That sounds nightmarish."

"Oh, it is," he agrees. "But you should experience the chaos at least once."

"Alright, fine. Nanner me up, then." Mike snorts as you sit back against the cushions, examining the Switch controller in your hand and mumbling, "Could they have made these any smaller? My hands are too big. How are you even playing?"

"Practice. We played a lot of Don't Drink and Drive my sophomore year."

He toggles to change the settings, and you both pick characters again. Mike selects Baby Park and grins too widely when you squeak.

"This is the worst possible—"

"It's the best possible track," he corrects you.

The next minute or so is spent with Mike swearing and you screeching, but a melody of giggles can be heard in between.

He stands up like it'll help him focus, and you follow suit, bouncing and leaning forward until Mike thinks you might lose your balance. It's the only match you actually beat him at, and you raise your arms in victory, acting like the terrible winner you are. You dance and poke him in the chest so that Mike rolls his eyes and shoves you with just enough force (so, not a lot) to make you fall back onto the couch.

"Wow, rude!" You exclaim with a little pout.

Mike stands next to you, a little too close as a retort forms on the tip of his tongue, but the angle is awkward, and he watches your eyes flit from his face to his waist (or what's a little below it) for just a split second, just long enough for him to notice, and he has to fight a smirk as you meet his eyes again.

He can imagine your cheeks are feeling pretty warm right now, but Mike doesn't say anything about it, just takes his place beside you. If he's sitting a little closer than before, neither of you mention it.

It's nearing one in the morning, and both of you are starting to feel it, eyes and hands too slow to keep playing the video game, so you switch to a movie. Mike doesn't think much of it when he lays down, legs hanging over the armrest, head in your lap. You tense for about two seconds before relaxing into the position you both know so well.

The first Jurassic Park plays from the TV, but Mike isn't paying any attention, too busy watching the way you're nibbling on your bottom lip. It's your thinking face, means you're lost in your own brain, just as far away from the film as he is.

It's stupid that you're both fighting this. Mike doesn't understand. If he wants it, and you want it, what the fuck is standing in the way? Zeke? That pretentious, clay-stained fuck? You don't even fit well together. In any way. He's too arrogant and philosophical (or so Erwin says). He probably doesn't appreciate your sense of humor (or so Mike says). And, he won't fuck you (so you say). How are you happy with him?

"Miche," your voice is quiet, but still loud enough to send a shiver down Mike's spine.

"Hm?"

"Stop staring at my mouth."

"You looked at my dick earlier."

"Shut up, no I didn't."

Mike laughs, turns his head to bury it in your stomach, and you start carding fingers through his hair. It's natural with the two of you. Nothing is forced. It took a while to get back into the groove of your friendship, but now you're here, and Mike is breathing in the smell of your perfume and fabric softener and you, and he wants so badly to just raise your shirt and plant kisses all over your soft skin.

Your body rises and falls with a deep breath. Your hand stops at the crown of his head. Then, you whisper the words he wants to hear most: "Just one more night?"

Mike sits up so fast, he nearly smacks into your chin with his forehead. He turns to face you again, eyes too round, voice too hopeful as he assures, "Just one more night."

He knows the only reason you're considering this is because Zeke has you all wound up, but that's okay. Mike will take care of you. He'll scratch that itch and then some—remind you of what you're missing.

"Alright, yeah, I—"

Mike is suddenly standing and taking your hand, leading you to his bedroom as the Jurassic Park theme plays you both out.

He knows you'll want to snoop—it's sort of your thing—but he doesn't give you time as he bends and catches you in a kiss, hands holding your face, tilting your head. He feels you curl your fingers into his shirt, using him for leverage as you balance on your tiptoes, and he lets you dance like that for a little while, desperate little ballerina as you open your mouth for him, but as soon as he feels your tongue against his, Mike lifts you clean off the ground. You wrap your legs around his waist, no need for straining muscles now as you both lick and suck and hold on to each other too tightly.

Mike paces over to the bed, nearly tripping over the shoes he left in the middle of his room earlier that day, but he’s able to drop you onto the mattress and catch himself above you before any real damage can be done.

You laugh out a, “Real smooth, Zacharias,” that he ignores in favor of taking his shirt off.

He can’t see well in the darkness which just will not do as you begin stripping, but then he remembers, “Oh,” and leans over you to plug in the string of lights he somehow managed to hang around the flag pinned above his headboard. “Ambience.”

You crane to look at them, suck your teeth, and say, “Let me guess. Erwin told you to do it.”

“How’d you know?”

Another little giggle as you tuck a few strands of hair behind his ear—“Because Erwin is the fairy lights type of motherfucker, but you…” You don’t finish that thought, just shake your head and tell him, “They’re cute. I like ‘em.”

Mike hums, “Good,” then leans down for another kiss. Several more, actually.

He’s missed this so fucking much, the way you taste on his tongue, the way you sigh into him, the way your body moves beneath his. It hurts to think this will be the last time he gets to experience it with you, but he plans to savor every second, never let himself forget and, hopefully, make sure you never forget either.

Cheesy or not, the lights cast incredible shadows on your body once it's bared to him. Your silhouette is something he could stare at for hours, days, a lifetime. If he were even slightly artistically inclined, he’d probably try to paint it, but as that’s not the case…

Starting at your jawline, Mike leaves a trail of little bites, pinching just hard enough to make you gasp. When he reaches your neck, though, he begins sucking, dragging his teeth over new-forming bruises so that you whimper and arch to press your chest to his. He moves slowly, barely even registering your breathy pleas as he holds a patch of skin captive between his incisors and laves over it.

A mark on your neck. One on the swell of your breast then on the side of the other. The space between two ribs. Just above your naval. The hollow of your hip bone. And, finally, the insides of both thighs.

Last time he did this, on the bed in your old room doused in moonlight, he wasn't trying to be possessive.

Tonight he is.

“M-Miche, please.” Your voice is catching as if you’re crying—as if Mike is torturing you. He supposes he is. You’re ready for relief, and all he’s doing is winding you tighter and tighter. It’s okay, baby, he thinks to himself, I’ll make it worth it.

Swiping his tongue between your folds, Mike groans at how wet you are. He almost feels sorry for you. Now, he’s gonna have to spend even more time drinking you in.

You throw your legs over his shoulders with no prompting, letting him sink further into you. Mike licks in long, deep strokes that make your thighs tremble and jump around his head. He sucks your clit into his mouth, slick and swollen against his tongue, and makes sure to move his face just enough to make a mess of the hair on his chin.

You’re begging again. For something. For nothing. He isn’t quite sure. But, when Mike moves to lick around your dripping hole and uses a finger to flick over your sensitive little bud, you sing for him, and he realizes just how pent up you are.

Oh, he can have fun with this.

Pausing to suck more bruises onto your thighs, Mike tries to calm himself down, find a way to ignore the throb between his legs, but that doesn’t seem likely judging by the way you just keep trying to spread yourself further and further, like it’ll get him to move faster.

He crawls back up your body, face level with yours as he teases your entrance with a finger. You let out the cutest sounds, brow furrowing like you’re focused as you shift your hips in a silent demand that Mike does not follow.

His face is slick with you, and he knows you can taste yourself as he forces you into another long kiss. You let out an honest-to-god sob when he pushes his finger inside of you, throwing your head back and clenching around him while praising, “Yes, yes, yes, fuck, tha—thank you.”

Mike pumps in and out a few times, finds your spot with ease and massages over it until he sees true tears leaking from your eyes.

Then, he pulls out, slaps a hand over your cunt, and warns, “Don’t thank me just yet.”

Your chest heaves as you stare at the ceiling seemingly in shock. Mike raises to his knees and wipes his chin on his shoulder, glances back just in time to see you sit up and attempt to tackle him back on the bed.

Mike snorts, catching you by the wrists and leaning in close. “What do you think you’re gonna do?”

Your eyes are a little wild, lips kiss-swollen, body marked to hell and back from Mike’s mouth. You just can’t get enough, shamelessly cock hungry, and god, he is so glad he's here to witness it. To be a part of it. Maybe he should send Zeke a gift basket, an edible arrangement or something. Thanks for letting me satisfy your girl since you can’t.

It takes no effort to lay you back down, just like it takes no effort to flip you over. Mike raises your hips, enjoys the view of you whining into his pillow for a second, then turns his sights to your ass. He gives it a couple spanks, biting his lip at the way it makes you clench your muscles, then spreads your cheeks and spits.

“M-Mi—”

“‘S’okay,” he tells you before letting more of his saliva drip from his mouth and land on your asshole. “Gonna feel good, I promise.”

He’s never done this with you before, not that he hasn’t wanted to, but he figures if there’s any night to go all out, it’s this one.

The first press of his tongue against your hole has you inhaling sharply, and the first press of his fingers into your pussy has you moaning low in your throat. Just like that, you relax for him. Mike works himself inside of you, opening you up until you’re nothing more than a drooling mess on his bed. You allow him to lick inside of you, to take in every exposed part of you as he rubs your g-spot over and over.

“Mm, gonna… gonna…” Your words are thick and wet. Mike isn’t even sure you realize that you’re speaking. He knows what you’re trying to say, though, so with a mischievous smile, he removes his face and hand, admiring his handiwork as you drop back to the bed and whine for him.

There’s a bottle of listerine in his nightstand, one he only planned on using when he would wake up in the early morning hours with that dead animal taste in his mouth. Turns out, it has more than one use. Mike takes a swig so that you won’t freak out if he tries to kiss you after eating your ass, swishes it around, then swallows.

“Not supposed to drink that,” you slur, already looking much too fucked-out for someone who hasn’t even taken his dick yet.

“Harmless in small doses, babe,” he tells you, recapping the bottle and tossing it back into the open drawer. “If I just chugged all of it, it’d be a different story.”

You let out a little scoff, mumble something he can’t hear, then ask a little louder, “You ready to fuck me yet?”

Mike smirks, pushes you to roll over again, then strokes a thumb over your face. “I am literally always ready to fuck you. Just trying to draw it out tonight.”

It makes you pout, but he thinks your eyes clear a little. Like you understand what he’s feeling. When you pull him down for another kiss, much softer than all of the previous, Mike smiles—another little snapshot he’d like to tuck away.

Without any warning, he pulls the pillows your head is resting on out from under you, snickering at the grunt that leaves you. He taps a hip, “Lift,” and shoves them underneath when you do. He should probably ask if you want him to wear a condom, but that’s nothing more than an afterthought as Mike begins to push into you.

“Ohh, thank god, thank god, thank god,” you pant, and Mike chuckles, dipping a hand down to gently stroke over the tissue stretching around his cock.

Every shallows thrust pushes more slick from you, and he can’t help but gather some on his finger and hold it to your mouth. You’re quick to lick it off, but instead of dropping his hand, Mike moves to press a thumb to your chin and hold your mouth open. You stick your tongue out, and he mumbles a low, “Such a slut,” before spitting on it.

As soon as you swallow Mike snaps his hips forward and starts a hard, fast rhythm. The way your face splits into a crooked grin almost has him coming on the spot, so fucking pleased with yourself, but he wants to make sure you’re seeing stars by the time he’s finished with you—wants to make sure you can’t even get out of his bed.

You're sucking in air through your teeth, little hisses that could be from either pain or pleasure, but the way you keep raising yourself off the pillows to meet Mike halfway is a pretty good indicator of which one it is.

While your voice seems muted at the time being, your sloppy little cunt is not—lewd, wet noises echoing through Mike's room as well as his head. That fucking squelch he hears every time he pushes in, the mirroring suck whenever he pulls out… You always get messy with him, or maybe he always makes a mess out of you—either way, it's one of the many things Mike adores about you. You were shy about it maybe the first two fucks but not anymore. Now, you wrap your legs around Mike and pull him closer, claw down his back and try your hardest to fuck yourself on his cock until he's laughing in your ear.

"Here, hold on."

You whimper when he pulls out, but it's only to flop down in his back and let you climb on top. He expects some kind of break, a single second to breathe, but you just sink down on his length and let your head hang back.

"Mmygod," you moan, taking him in as far as you can then rocking back and forth.

Mike can feel your thighs break out in goosebumps, traces a finger over your arm to find the same effect and hums. Bracing yourself on his chest, you plant your feet on the mattress and bounce like your life depends on it, that drunken smile back in place as Mike coos, "That's it, baby, take what you need."

He reaches up to grope your tits, cupping both of them, brushing calloused palms over each nipple. It makes you arch your back and gasp, but the rhythm of your hips doesn't stop. Mike can feel the way your pussy is drooling on him, slick little rivers that add to that filthy, beautiful symphony. He wants to hear it every night on repeat. Most played song of—

"Oh fuck, oh fuck," you whine, and Mike reaches between your spread legs to press a thumb against your clit, fingertips digging into the meat of your thigh as he rubs in tiny circles.

You sit and take it for several seconds before your eyes find his, widen, then roll as you start to come.

Mike takes over, lifting and lowering you on his cock as you twitch and cry for him. You're so pretty like this, hair out of place, damp with sweat and tears, thighs painted with your own orgasm. He doesn't want this to end. He doesn't want this to be the last time.

With your pussy still spasming around him, Mike switches positions again, lays you down like before and situates his head between your legs to idly lick everything that's dripped out of you. Your legs are shaking, kitten-like mewls meeting his ears. You jump whenever he runs his tongue over your clit, but you never move to stop him or swat him away.

Mike waits for you to go boneless before scooping you up and sitting on the edge of the bed. You're clumsy and slow as you straddle his lap, letting him slip inside you once more, but it's nowhere near as frantic as before.

He guides with gentle hands under your thighs, coaxes you to uncurl them from underneath you and wrap around his waist instead. Chest to chest, you rise and fall together. Mike breathes heavily into your neck as he hits that unforgiving wall inside of you. It makes you wince, but you don't shy away from him.

He's careful after that, makes sure everything he does is slow, tender, and when he sees fresh tears shining in your eyelashes, he knows it isn't from anything he's doing to you.

Mike is able to suck a few more bruises onto your neck and shoulders before he feels you nose at his cheek. Your kiss is dream-like, deep and relaxed but so full, and Mike knows he would be able to just do that all night if his orgasm wasn't about to run into him like a train.

He breaks away, looks to the ceiling only to have little fingers curl around his jaw and bring him back. You watch him with half-lidded eyes, bottom lip sucked between your teeth, and that expression—that need to see—it makes the cord in Mike's gut snap. He sees a vague twinkle in your gaze as his jaw drops then blackness as his eyes are suddenly facing the back of his god damn skull.

Every line of cum he shoots inside you has him groaning, his fingers digging into the swell of your ass as he fills you up. You purposely squeeze him, clenching on his cock to milk him of everything he has until Mike is shuddering and whispering, "Okay, okay, okay."

"Okay?" You question then squeeze him again, giggling when he grunts and twitches.

Lying back on the bed, Mike lets you pull your legs out from under him, but you remain straddling his waist as you lean forward to lay on his chest. It’s quiet for a long time. A different Jurassic Park movie is playing now, the music too intense for the deep, even breaths you’re taking, for the way you’re lightly tapping Mike’s shoulder in time with his heartbeat.

His head is beginning to clear again, the lust and excitement ebbing away into those reflective thoughts that always seem to hit him after a mindblowing orgasm. It’s mostly questions: Why are you doing this? Why is he doing this? Why can’t you keep doing this? Why didn’t you pick him? Why don’t you want—

“Okay, I gotta get up,” you grumble. “I can actually feel your cum dripping out of me.”

Mike snorts, looking over his nose at you. “Never complained about it before.”

You push yourself off of him, both of you hissing at the sensation, then Mike watches you stand and glance around, probably trying to figure out which door is for the closet and which is for the bathroom.

“It’s the one on the left,” he grunts, staring at your ass a little too long and suppressing a groan when he catches sight of white fluid streaming down your thighs. “God dammit.”

The toilet flushes, the shower starts, and Mike is left to wonder if you need the alone time or if he should treat this like any other time and join you. Are you in there trying to wash him off of you or—

“You comin’?” You peak out from the door, wet hair dripping, tired smile in place.

“Just did,” he shoots back while sitting up. Like every other time. Just keep it casual.

The water is hot, but you’re even hotter as you lather your hair in shampoo and soap up your body. Since he’s back to pretending like this is nothing more than your old routine, Mike has no problem pressing himself against you from behind, running his hands up your sides, “helping” in the bathing process by squeezing your tits, feeling the suds get caught in the webs of his fingers.

“You’re playing with fire, Zacharias,” you tell him, and he can see your lips pulling into a smirk. “You need to stop unless you wanna go for round two.”

He nips at your earlobe, uncaring of the soap that gets in his mouth. “Or three, or four.”

You laugh and turn to face him, but your eyes are shut as you rinse your hair. It gives Mike time to admire all the marks he’s left on you—too many, probably—and he doubts you’ll be very happy with him once you notice, but fuck, you’re so pretty covered in him.

The shower ends. Mike expects you to ask for a ride back to the dorms (that he doesn’t understand why you’re still living in), but it turns out you’re not all talk. After sitting on the couch for only a few minutes, trying to make sense of the dinosaur movie you’ve walked in on halfway, you’re crawling into his lap again, teeth dragging over his neck this time as your hand trails down his torso to rub over his rapidly growing cock.

“Oh, shit, I didn’t actually think you were serious,” he chuckles through a kiss.

You grind down on him, bite his lower lip, then remind him, “I told you I was frustrated.”

He smirks, gives your hair a little tug that makes you moan, then makes sure his words just ghost over your mouth when he teases, “Like a bitch in heat.”

This time he takes you over the armrest of the couch, leaves you swollen and dripping his cum again.

Another shower, the steam on top of such vigorous activity has both of you deliriously tired, and Mike is honest when he tells you, “I really shouldn’t drive now. I’m about to pass out.”

“You and me both.”

So, you slip into one of his shirts and crawl into bed with him, but neither of you get more than a couple hours of sleep before the morning sun is shining in through the window. Mike’s grumpy groan very quickly turns to one of interest when he feels you push your ass against his morning wood, and then you’re at it again. He’s never fucked this much in such a short amount of time, and he can’t imagine doing it every day or even every other day. In fact, he thinks he might be a little burnt out for a bit. Unless it’s with you, of course. He’ll always make an exception if it’s you moaning his name and hiking a leg over his hip and milking him dry. He guesses if this is the last time he gets to do this for the foreseeable future, he’s at least made it worth it.

Back in your little party outfit, you step up into Mike’s Jeep and almost doze off in the short time it takes to get to student housing, but you’re roused when he pulls into the parking lot and steps on the breaks just a little too hard.

Mike snickers when you jolt forward and grunt, cutting your eyes at him and muttering, “Fucker,” before undoing your seatbelt and leaning over to pull him into another kiss. He cradles the back of your head, holds you there for too long as he tries to make you feel everything he’s feeling through tangled tongues, little nips, and the string of spit that stretches between two bottom lips.

He thinks he’s been good at hiding it, but now as you’re about to slip out and away, those words are lodged in Mike’s throat again, and no amount of swallowing will get rid of them. He takes a deep breath and forces one of those horribly insincere smiles, and you can tell because the look you give him is thoughtful and sorry, and your voice comes out as a whisper when you say his name, “Miche.”

“Hm?”

“Uh… Thanks.”

He lets out a humorless laugh and asks, “For last night? This morning?”

“For everything. I mean, last night and this morning were incredible, like… Incredible. But, it’s more than that. For helping me with everything you have in the last year or so.”

Mike’s heart drops into his stomach, and he sits back in his seat as his mind starts racing because this doesn’t sound like gratitude; this sounds like goodbye.

But, why? He’ll see you on campus in a day or so, at the PKA parties you end up going to. You probably won’t be able to attend a ton of his games, but that’s fine. He understands. Are you just being dramatic—sad that you won’t be able to fuck him anymore?

He can’t ask any of this, settles with a half-hearted, “Yeah, no problem,” as he fights the confused frown that’s slowly taking over his face.

“I’ll see you around,” you tell him.

Mike nods and watches as you slide out and start walking to the bland building. He doesn’t like how that just ended. It doesn’t sit right in his head or his gut. It could be that you’re already regretting it. It could be that you're fearful of the consequences. It could be that you think this might be the final straw in your friendship. You’d be wrong on that one, though. Mike is willing to let you get away with a lot—too much—before he runs. You can use him in whatever way you need, and he’ll keep coming back. He just can’t help it.

That had been a bad idea. A really, really fucking bad idea. The ache in you has been completely satiated, and you loved being able to hang out (and fuck) Mike—wouldn’t really trade it—but as you walk up the stairs to Zeke’s apartment sore as all get out and see his face when he swings the door open, it really hits you—

That had been a terrible idea.

“Why the fuck did Eren say he saw you leave the party with Zacharias?”

“Alright, I’m just gonna turn around,” you say, pivoting back toward the staircase because you really don’t like the way Zeke’s tone is tying your stomach in knots and making your neck prickle. You haven’t ever been one to be scared of men, but in this moment, you would much prefer to not be anywhere near him.

“No, no, let’s talk about this,” he says with a suck of his teeth.

His grip on your arm is just shy of painful, and you take note of the way he forcefully guides you into the apartment rather than tugs you.

You chew on the inside of your cheek, setting your purse down on the counter as you follow him over to the couch. Zeke sits down at the other end facing you, as always, blue eyes narrow behind his glasses. “So, is it true?”

“Yeah,” you admit before diving headfirst into a lie, “It was just to play videogames, though. Neither of us were diggin’ the party, so—”

“That so?”

You nod. “We used to all the time.”

“And, what else did the two of you used to do?” He mocks, and you keep your mouth shut, bottom jaw sliding as your lower lip starts to quiver. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Thank whatever you want, Zeke. I was just hanging out with my best friend, okay?”

“Your best friend?” He snaps. “Tell me, sweetheart, just why might you be covered up head to fucking toe, hm?”

You cringe inwardly, taken back to the debate you’d had with yourself in front of the mirror. Your normal casual wear would show off some of the bruises Mike had littered you with—cold spoons can only do so much—but getting buttoned up would be suspicious. You had opted for the latter, hoping it would escape Zeke’s notice, but of course it didn’t.

Now, you’re sweating in your jeans and a fucking turtleneck you’ve never even worn before, and Jesus Christ, you just want to leave. Zeke is hot, but not hot enough to put up with this kind of bullshit.

“Don’t have a comeback for that one, do ya’?”

Mental note: kick Eren’s ass next time you see him. You knew that kid rubbed you the wrong way for a reason.

You don’t know who to be more upset with, the little brother or yourself. You could be irritated at Mike if you really wanted to—he hadn’t been subtle about wanting you last night, but then again, you hadn’t really expected him to, and you can’t find it in yourself to fault him for his feelings. There’s no way you could actually be mad at him.

This is your fault. You need to deal with the consequences without bringing anyone else into it.

“What d’you want me to say, Zeke? What’s the right answer here?” You ask exasperatedly.

“The fucking truth!”

“We hooked up, alright? I fucked him! ‘Cause you don’t wanna fuck me, which would be fine if you’d just tell me why, but you won’t!” You’re starting to breathe a little heavy, voice rising as you continue, “I feel like you’re just waiting to see how long it’ll take for me to lose it, and apparently it was last night, and you know what?” You grin at him, nerves on fire the more you let every frustration fly from your mouth. “It was awesome. It was so fucking good, you don’t even understand.”

Zeke’s eyebrows are high as he lets your little rant die off, obviously annoyed when he asks, “You finished?”

“I think I am,” you laugh.

“Fantastic. Take your shirt off.”

You choke on your tongue. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Take. Your shirt. Off.”

“No!"

“You just said you wanted me to fuck you, so—”

“Not right fucking now!” Even if you wanted him to, you wouldn’t be able to take him. You don’t think you’ve ever been so sore after having sex, but that could also have something to do with the multiple rounds of being impaled on Mike’s horse cock. God, you already miss it.

“Swear to god, if you don’t take it off right now—”

“You’ll do what? What’ll you do, Zeke?”

Your breath gets caught in your throat when he lunges at you, one foot planted on the ground as his other knee digs into the couch in a way that cages you in. His nails scratch against your skin as he pulls roughly at the material, and you hear the sound of threads splitting as you grunt and squirm and try to keep the terror rising in your chest at bay because this is not happening. This is not happening.

Zeke manages to rip the turtleneck off of you, and you shiver on the cushions as his eyes trace over every inch of you he can see, icy blue somehow becoming colder and colder.

“One,” he growls, shoving a finger into your neck. It smarts the way every bruise does, and you bat his hand away only for him to move it to the skin just beneath your collarbone. “Two.” He shoves your bra up to find hickeys three and four, making you wince as he digs a fingertip into both. “Five,” your ribs. “Six,” your stomach. “Seven,” your hip.

Your face is incredibly warm, tears stuck at your waterline as humiliation washes over you in waves. And naturally, it just gets worse.

“Are you gonna take your pants off, or will I have to?”

You aren’t breathing deep enough anymore, and you can feel a burning in your lungs as a result. When you don’t answer quick enough, Zeke threatens, “I’ll rip them if I have to.”

“They’re denim,” you snark, but that last piece of attitude is stomped out when he unbuttons and unzips your pants and tugs each corner, effectively tearing past the zipper.

You let out something frighteningly close to a whimper as he pulls them off, then sits between your legs and starts counting the marks dotted along your thighs.

“I’ve gotta hand it to him—Zacharias is a pretty thorough guy.” He pinches you a couple times, chuckling at the way you jump and hiss. “Did you like it when he was treating you like a fucking fire hydrant? Marking his territory like a dog?”

“Shut up,” you grit, sitting up only to get shoved back down by a hand that curls around your throat.

You stare at Zeke with huge eyes, finally letting that fear bloom inside you—what is he about to do? What is he about to do?—and as he leans over you, tears start streaming down the sides of your face.

He lets out a condescending little, "Oh," then lowers his face to run his lips over your temple and whispers, "Don't be scared. It's okay."

A gentle kiss, and then he pushes himself up, stands, then disappears into his room. You stay on the couch, trying to catch the breath you didn't realize you'd been holding. Shivering as you sit up, you reach for your close only to find them ruined.

Zeke must have known that the moment he ripped them off of you (honestly, you should have known too) because when he returns, he tosses a ball of material at you—an old t-shirt and pajama pants.

"I'm gonna throw a pizza in the oven. That okay with you?"

You blink at him, unable to respond as he glances over his shoulder and makes a face like he's annoyed.

"What, are you stupid on top of slutty now? I asked if that was okay with you."

"I—Ye—I need to leave," you mumble, quickly slipping the clothes on and standing. "I'm gonna leave."

"How about you just chill and watch a movie instead?"

"Why would I want to—"

The look Zeke gives you is chilling, mouth downturned, one eyebrow raised. It's a challenge, one you don't have the energy or fight to rise to, so you drop back onto the cushions and sigh.

It’s fine. You’re fine. He didn’t go nearly as far as you thought he was about to—just got upset. He had a reason to, right? There were better ways to handle it, a fucking conversation for example, but at least now he’s giving you a little space, cooling down in the kitchen while you gather your thoughts. You could go without the name-calling, though.

He just lost his temper, wanted to remind you that it’s him you’re with. You have been for a few months now. And, until now, Zeke has been a nice albeit slightly arrogant guy. He’s personable, he’s smart, he’s funny. Most importantly, he’s level-headed. You probably just pushed him a little too far. It could have been worse. It could be worse.

You play it over and over in your head as Zeke hands you a plate with a slice of pizza on it. You play it when he sits down and throws an arm around you. Then, you play it when he walks you to your car that evening and kisses you like nothing ever happened.

Could be worse. Could be worse.

Mike curls his tongue over his bottom lip and squints at the array of cups on the table across from him, picking one out before tossing the ping pong ball with a flick of his wrist.

It bounces off one of the cups' rims, and Nile easily snatches it up and smirks at him.

"Dude," Erwin starts, frowning when Mike turns to him. "Why do you suck so much tonight?"

Mike rolls his eyes. "Man, fuck off."

"No, I'm serious. What's up with you?"

"Nothin'. Just having an off night."

"More like off week," Erwin scoffs. "Month."

Gelgar sinks his ball into the middle cup, and Mike quickly reaches forward to grab it, extracting the plastic before downing the beer.

Erwin is right, but Mike refuses to tell him that. He's been off since the last party a couple weeks ago, the last time he saw you—last time he touched you. He's spotted you around campus several times since, but you're always hanging off Zeke's arm, and Mike isn't about to pry you off him (despite how much he wants to).

Honestly, he's a little surprised at how close you still are with him, how unaffected your relationship is by the hookup. Maybe Zeke just never found out. Mike has tried to ask you about it, sent more than one text, but they've gone unanswered which is a concern all on its own. Two weeks without talking at all. Mike feels like he's going insane.

Could it be that you're mad at him, upset that you gave into temptation and you're blaming Mike instead of yourself? He understands the need to scratch that itch, but if you really hadn't wanted to fuck, you could have just said so.

Mid-terms are next week, so Mike figures if you still haven't talked to him by then, it's definitely time to worry about the state of the friendship. He's trying not to get himself worked up, but honestly, just the thought of you being upset with him is enough to make his stomach roll. He just needs one text. One everything's fine. That shouldn't be too hard for you, right?

Mike misses another shot and swears to himself, sticking a middle finger up at Erwin when he throws his arms out.

"It's just beer pong, bro. Calm down."

The party is like every other—loud music, rowdy college kids, too many girls Mike doesn't care about making eyes at him from across the room. He really just wants to go home, but he can't help but stay in hopes that you might show up. It's highly unlikely, but that slim chance keeps him rooted to the spot, missing cups left and right until Nile and Gelgar win.

Erwin is not happy as he drinks his share of the remaining beer. Once he finishes the last, he tells Mike, "You owe me for that pathetic fucking display. Tell me what's going on."

Mike comes close to just turning his back and walking away, but he can see that even through his irritation, Erwin is worried for him.

Running a hand through his hair, Mike just asks if Erwin has heard from you at all recently. "I just can't get ahold of her, and I can't tell if it's 'cause she's busy or ignoring me or what."

Erwin's thick eyebrows knit together as he shakes his head. "No, I haven't talked to her in a while. Did something happen between the two of you?"

"I mean, we hooked up at the last party—"

"Oh, that ended up happening?" Erwin asks, surprised.

Even after making up last semester, Mike has tried to keep the details of his sex life with you to himself and away from Erwin specifically. After the shit he pulled that drove the rift between them in the first place, Mike isn't willing to be quite as open about you as he previously was, but he did have to break that code at the last party when he was convinced you would end up fucking. Buzzed and excited while still at the house, Mike had asked Erwin if he'd be cool with the two of you using his room (with the promise of cleaning up, of course), before you ended up just retreating to the quietness of Mike's apartment instead.

So, Erwin knew the potential that evening had, but Mike never followed up with him until now.

"Yeah, it did."

"Well, what did Zeke think of it?"

Mike shrugs his shoulders. "Dunno. She hasn't talked to me since then."

"Shit." Erwin looks genuinely taken aback. "It's been that long?"

"Yeah. I'm trying not to freak out, but like—"

"No, I get you. If I end up hearing from her before you do, I'll let you know."

Mike nods, "Thanks, bro," and forces a smile when Erwin claps him on the back, then breaks away from his friend to mope around somewhere else.

What if something happened? What if Zeke had found out and lost his temper with you? Mike will murder him if he finds out that four-eyed fuck put his hands on you. Gruesomely murder.

If he could take back what you both shared that night, he would. Things seemed to be getting somewhat back to normal between you—talking and making dumb jokes, like you were actually comfortable around him despite your boyfriend. If Mike had known one last night would fuck that progress up, he wouldn't have ever brought it up.

Then again, you had told him. I don't wanna fuck things up with Zeke. And, he had still pushed, tried to get you to give in, and god, that's embarrassing. Mike is glad you called him out on his shit, but looking back on it still makes his face heat. That was fucked up. He fucked up.

"It's Mike, right?"

Mike's eyes snap downward, caught off guard by the girl suddenly standing in front of him, dainty fingers with painted nails clutched around a beer bottle. It's the same kind you would drink only to end up giving it to Mike.

"Uh, yeah, that's me."

The girl smiles at him. He's seen her around the college, events shared between both frats and sororities, and the more Mike looks at her face, the more he recognizes her as one of the chicks who used to hang around the baseball team a lot. In fact, he's pretty sure she's—

"I'm Rhi. You played really well yesterday. I was watching you."

"Thanks."

She bats her eyelashes at him as she returns, "You're welcome," then clicks her tongue and asks, "So, who ya' lookin' for?" in a sing-song voice.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you've been scanning this room for the last, like, fifteen minutes. Looking like you're playing Where's Waldo or something."

Mike snorts, flipping hair from his face as he lies, "No one in particular."

He recognizes the look of satisfaction that blooms on Rhi's face, has seen it many times before on many different girls. It makes him sigh inwardly because he really could not be any less interested.

"That's good." Rhi's wide grin shrinks into a smirk before she adds, "I was hoping you'd say that."

Mike feels his mouth tug up on one side in what he's pretty sure comes off as a sad little smile.

Fuck it, though. At least she's pretty.

Things don't change all that much between you and Zeke. After spending a day or two rationalizing, you're able to look at him and smile again, to laugh at his jokes and listen to his tangents. He's back to playing with your fingers on the table while you sit face to face for lunch, back to shoving his hand in your back pocket while you walk around campus. It's like nothing ever happened.

If anything, you start spending even more time with him. He walks with you to and from class whenever he can, tells you to come watch his practices because the teammates he's closest with—his best friends—want to get to know you better. It's all normal, and you get used to the slight change in routine without a problem. You like the Galliard brothers, Marcel who plays shortstop and Porco, the catcher, so it isn't a chore to hang out with them after games and practice.

What is a chore is watching Zeke talk with his bubbly ex as he walks with her to the science building you're waiting at. Leaning against the brick wall under an awning, you squint as they approach. Rhi is looking at him with those huge, entranced eyes you know too well, a little too much pep in her step making her tits bounce in a way that's fucking impossible to ignore.

You shouldn't be territorial. If anything, you should probably still be mad for the stunt he had pulled with you, but… if he gets to be possessive, so do you. It only makes sense.

'Cause that's how healthy relationships work, you think with a snort, pushing yourself off the wall when they both stop in front of you.

"Babe, you remember Rhi," Zeke reintroduces her like you haven't been at least a little wary of her for the last couple months.

"Yeah," you nod, forcing a smile. "How are you?"

"I'm great!" She grins, looking at Zeke for one reason or another, like he needs to approve her answer, which is fucking dumb, but you also kind of understand because that's just the effect he has on people.

"Glad to hear it." You turn your attention to your boyfriend, content to ignore her from here on out, and ask, "Did you wanna grab something to eat before practice?"

“Yeah,” he nods before glancing at Rhi and offering a, “Catch you later,” that sounds too promising for your liking.

You don’t glare at the other girl as the two of you leave, but you definitely do not smile, and as Zeke drives you both to your favorite cafe, you whine to Hitch through texts.

i wouldn’t be too worried about it, she tells you. she’s in my psych class and she’s kinda dumb. i doubt zeke wants to put up with that again. probs why he dumped her in the first place

You try to appear unbothered through lunch, but you’ve had a pretty shitty day so far—woke up late, probably failed a quiz, got no response from Mike despite texting him three times in rapid succession, and then you had to witness that doe-eyed little brat blatantly pine for—

“You know, you don’t have any right to be jealous, right?” Zeke asks after swallowing a bite of salad.

You blink at him, having to process for a second before you understand what he’s saying. And, why he’s saying it. How can he just read your mind like that? You don’t think you’ll ever understand.

“‘M not jealous,” you mumble, stirring soup you really have no intention of eating.

Zeke smirks across from you. “No?”

“I’m just having a bad day. Don’t make assumptions just ‘cause I didn’t smile at your little ex.”

His expression of self-satisfaction falls into a frown, and he asks what’s going on. When you tell him, you purposely leave out the detail about Mike ignoring you because it would only further Zeke’s point about you having no right to get possessive especially considering how fucking upset you are about the matter. Why the fuck isn’t he talking to you?

“Want me to help take the edge off?” Zeke asks when you finish venting.

You look at him with one raised eyebrow, tempted to reply with a smart-aleck ‘only if you plan on seeing it through’, but that sounds like too much of an ultimatum, too manipulative. You’ve made it this long without being a shady bitch, and you have no intention of becoming one.

He can see the gears turning in your head, leans forward and grabs your hand before urging, “Come over. Skip your evening class, and we can just… Relax.”

You snort when he wriggles his eyebrows suggestively, possibly the first time you’ve smiled today. “I really shouldn’t skip. We’re reviewing for our exam next week.”

“All the more reason to. You’re not getting any new information. You can just go back over it on your own.”

He has a point. You have all the notes and PowerPoints, and the idea of just lounging and fucking is very tempting since the last time you had sex was the night with Mike.

And, just like that, your stomach is in knots again. Why won’t he just text back?

Sighing, you come to the conclusion that a distraction is exactly what you need.

“Yeah, okay. That sounds nice.”

“Oh, I’ll make sure it’s more than nice.”

Zeke finishes his meal then asks for a to-go bowl for yours, and after about fifteen minutes, you’re in his apartment.

“Let’s watch something while my food settles, and then we can you know…”

“You know,” you mimic, putting the leftovers up in the fridge then joining him on the couch.

He turns on some underground horror movie that doesn’t exactly set the mood, but you power through about half of it before all but throwing yourself at Zeke as soon as he pats his lap.

Chuckling, he helps take your shirt off, kisses your collarbone and murmurs, “Damn, should we just move straight to the bedroom?”

“I literally could not give less of a fuck. Whatever you wanna do.”

He grips your thighs and stands, making you hold onto his shoulders for dear life as he walks into the back and drops you on his bed. You immediately kick your pants off, a constant stream of ‘yes yes yes’ running through your mind. You need this. God, you need this.

But, when Zeke curls over you, he doesn’t feel broad enough, and when he kisses you, his beard is too thick, and when he trails his hands down your body, they’re barely calloused.

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to turn your brain off—please, just turn off—because you should only be thinking of Zeke.

Zeke who circles your nipple with his tongue, who brushes fingers over your bare pussy and groans at how the sensation makes you arch into his mouth.

“Can’t wait to stuff this pretty cunt,” he breathes before grazing his teeth over pebbled flesh.

His voice isn’t deep enough. His blue eyes have a different shine from the green you're so used to.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, just let him—

Shimmying down your body, Zeke spreads you open and pushes spit from his mouth to land on your clit and drip downward. It makes you gasp, and you feel that familiar throb of arousal that grows when he starts rubbing soft circles over the sensitive bundle.

“Oh, shit,” you huff.

Heat pools between your legs as he continues the motion, only stopping to replace his finger with his mouth.

You let out a high-pitched moan, thinking to yourself, what about pillows? You can get a better angle with pillows. It doesn’t matter in the long run as he drags his tongue over your entrance, dipping inside for just a second before going back to swirling the muscle around your clit.

A finger is pushed into you a little too roughly. It’s not quite long enough, not quite thick enough, but it still feels good, especially once Zeke finds your g-spot and massages it until you’re whimpering and begging for more.

“You think you’re ready, sweetheart?” He speaks into your thigh, a thigh that was once littered with dark bruises from another mouth.

“Yes,” you pant. “Yes, please, please, Zeke.” Even his name feels foreign falling from your lips despite having said it hundreds of times.

You don’t understand why your mind is sabotaging you like this. You’ve been desperate for Zeke for months now, so why is it that you’re finally getting what you want but can only think about Mike? What is wrong with you?

He scissors two fingers inside of you, making sure you’re nice and stretched, and you want to tell him to hurry up, that you’ve taken someone substantially longer and thicker, because yeah, Zeke has a nice cock, big enough to be satisfying, flushed pink at the tip and dripping, but it’s doubtful that he’s gonna hurt you.

He has a lovely upward curve that drags over your spot as he slides into you, and it makes you groan, eyebrows knitting together as Zeke swears.

“Fuck, you feel good,” he breathes, giving a few experimental thrusts.

You can take him without issue, wet and stretched, and god yes, finally. Finally. His pace quickens, coarse hairs on his pelvis rubbing against your clit and causing your eyes to roll back. Locking your ankles around his waist, you grin at the new angle, and Zeke huffs out an appreciative, “So fucking sexy when you smile for me, baby.” You stick your tongue between your teeth, something between a moan and a laugh leaving your throat, and he coos another, “Feel good?”

“Ye-es.”

Your mind is finally cleared—for a few minutes, at least—until Zeke pulls out and tells you to turn over. “Hands and knees.”

You comply, and when Zeke spreads your cheeks and shoves his cock back into your wet pussy, the memory of Mike’s tongue on your asshole flashes through your brain.

“Jesus Christ,” you whine.

Zeke’s balls slap your clit with every snap of his hips, the sound of skin on skin ringing through the room. It’s so fucking lewd, the sweat breaking out on both of you only making the noises more obscene. The fingers of one hand are gripping you tightly while Zeke brings his other down on your ass with a little too much force. The burning that follows feels good, makes you hiss and push back against him.

Pulling out so that only his cockhead is inside you, Zeke stills to focus solely on spanking you, alternating between cheeks as heat radiates from them. You cry and keep moving to the best of your ability, fucking yourself on his length as you get lost in sensation.

You lose track of time. Zeke switches between abusing your ass and leaning over you to grope your tits. No matter what he’s doing, you’re moaning, and eventually your own hand travels between your legs to play with your clit, the pressure in your gut becoming too much. You need to come, need that release, and when your back arches and your muscles tense, Zeke growls against your spine, “Fuck yes, come on my cock—just wanna feel you—”

He lets out a little, “Ha,” when you pulse around him, gushing slick and leaving you overstimulated as he continues to fuck into you harshly.

Your arms give out, elbows buckling and sending you falling face first into the pillow. Every noise you make grows in volume but remains muffled. Zeke is relentless in his strokes, but he thankfully doesn’t last much longer, droplets of sweat landing on your back as he curls over you once again, breathing heavily into your ear, “Can I come inside? Lemme come inside you.”

Before you can realize what you’re doing, you shake your head, turning your cheek to the cushion and panting, “No, don’t.”

It shouldn’t matter. You’re protected, and you’ve done it before, but…

You only want to do that for one person. You don’t want to let anyone else.

“Don’t, Zeke, I—”

“Did you let him come in you?” He suddenly asks. “Did you let him fill you with cum?”

He reaches around you to pinch your clit, and you squeal and squirm, trying to get him to drop his hand, but he doesn’t, just holds it with two fingers and taps the swollen bud without mercy.

“Did you?”

“No!” You lie, voice rising. “Fuck, I didn’t let him!”

Zeke scoffs. “I don’t believe you,” pinching hard enough to make tears spring up in your eyes before letting go. He returns to your hips, blunt fingernails digging into your skin as he gives a few more thrusts and groans, spilling into you then moving you back and forth on his cock, watching his own cum get pushed further into your hole and coat the entirety of his length.

“God dammit, what the fuck, Zeke?” You speak through gritted teeth, shoving back against him suddenly and with enough force to make him lose his balance and fall backward. You can feel thick fluid dripping down your thighs and turn to glare at him only to find him smirking at you.

The space behind your eyes grows hot with tears you refuse to shed in front of him. Instead, you get up and walk to the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it before sitting down on the toilet with your head in your hands.

You shouldn’t be as upset as you are, generally like the feeling of guys releasing inside of you. It’s just hot. But, you had not wanted it this time. You weren’t ready for it, and now you can’t help but feel… tainted.

You pee then hop into the shower to rinse off, to cleanse yourself and calm down, and once the hot water has drained you of most of your anger, you slip into one of Zeke’s t-shirts and go back outside. He’s in sweatpants, sipping on water as he stares at the TV.

“Feel better?” He questions without actually looking at you.

You’re free to roll your eyes, but you think you sound convincing when you answer, “Yeah, a lot.”

He hums. “Didn’t seem like it.”

“I mean,” you sigh and move to sit down next to him, one leg tucked under you as you think about how you want to word what’s on your mind. “When I ask you not to do something, I, you know, want you to actually listen."

Now, he turns to look at you wearing an expression frighteningly similar to the one he'd worn the day he humiliated you on the very couch you're sitting in.

"Oh, so you want me to respect your wishes." He doesn't sound at all sympathetic. "Kind of like I wanted you to respect mine before you went and fucked Zacharias."

"Alright," you drawl. "We're back to this again. Awesome."

He didn't ever explicitly ask you not to sleep with anyone else. At that point, you don't know if Zeke even saw you as a legitimate girlfriend. And, you understand why he's annoyed by your actions, but you're getting extremely fucking tired of him dangling it over your head.

"Uh, yeah, we are."

Taking a deep breath, you try to keep a level head, to appear collected when you tell him, "Look, I see your frustration. I get it. But, me sleeping with Mike is a little different than—"

"How?" Zeke cuts you off. "How is it different?"

"Because what you did in there was against my fucking will. I told you not to come inside me, and you still did."

Zeke is on his feet in an instant. "Is that a fucking accusation?"

"No, no," you hold your hands up in defense as you peer up at him. "I'm not trying to say that everything that happened in there was non-consensual—"

"Sounds a lot like you are."

You're starting to panic. You don't like how hostile he's getting when he isn't even trying to understand you.

"You're trying to fill in blanks that aren't there, Zeke. I'm not trying to accuse you or get you in trouble or anything. I'm trying to explain how fucked up—how scary—it is for someone to ignore your boundaries in the bedroom."

He makes a little, "Tch," then mutters, "You're blowing it out of proportion."

It's about the worst thing he could say to you. Firstly, he's the one getting offended by the situation, and secondly, it completely invalidates you.

"You're the one who was so desperate for sex you went and fucked someone else," he adds.

You massage your temples, figure you need to remove yourself before saying something you can't take back.

Your phone is still on the armrest where you left it before going to the back, and it lights up with a text—Hitch—and displays the time. It's only five. If you wanted, you could still make it to your six o'clock class.

"You know what, I'm gonna put a pin in this so we can both simmer down. We can revisit it later."

Zeke doesn't seem to like that solution, or lack thereof. You grab your shirt off the floor then pad back to the bedroom to change into the clothes you picked out for the day, texting Hitch back while you're hidden.

She had asked what you were up to, and you reply with, at Zeke's. Could you by any chance pick me up? I didn't drive and we just got into a spat.

on my way 😘

You waste a little time before deciding to brave your boyfriend again, simply telling him that you're just gonna go to class and that Hitch is coming to get you.

"Fine," he dismisses.

You think about giving him a little peck but decide against it, opting to just grab your backpack and slip on your shoes.

"I'll text you," you tell him.

He replies with a short, "Sure," and you take that as your cue to leave.

It doesn't take long for Hitch to get there and takes even less time for her to ask what happened.

At last, you give her the full scoop (barring Zeke's meltdown after originally finding out you slept with Mike). She frowns almost the whole way through, and you expect her to either soothe you or tell you that he's being an asshole, but instead, she clicks her tongue and mutters, "I don't get why you aren't just dating Mike. Like, yeah, Zeke's hot and all, but you and Mike have always had a thing. And, you both obviously like each other so whyyy," she ends in a frustrated whine.

"Because Mike and I…" You trail off. You don't really know, honestly, not for a few seconds at least, and when it hits you, it isn't some big epiphany. It's more like a natural thought. "Because Mike is long-term. If we got together it would be, like, the real deal. And, I don't think either of us are ready for that."

It feels good to admit both to Hitch and to yourself. You never thought about it in depth before, mostly because while you've known about his feelings for you for a good while, you haven't fully accepted your own.

But, if the hurt you're feeling at him not texting you back is anything to go on (not to mention how much you thought of him while fucking Zeke), your fondness for him has probably turned into something more, something deeper.

"I don't understand what's so bad about the real deal, but whatever. You guys will sort it out in your own time."

"I don't know about that," you mumble. "He hasn't talked to me since that morning. Just won't reply to any of my texts or calls."

"That's weird," Hitch thinks out loud as she pulls into the parking lot. "If anything, I thought he'd be fighting even harder now."

"Yeah, well, that is clearly not the case." You grab your bag out of the backseat, guessing, "He must be mad at me or something."

"Maybe. Maybe he's just trying to give you space."

Shrugging, you get out of the car, forcing a smile as you thank your friend for the ride.

"Any time. One more thing, though," Hitch stops you." You tilt your head in curiosity as her face grows uncharacteristically serious. "Next time Zeke uses that against you, tell him to fuck off. And, consider dumping him."

"I mean, I did fuck up by sleeping with Mike."

"Yeah, but you and Zeke aren't gonna work if he keeps holding that over you. Something like that isn't supposed to be leverage. If he can't handle it, he needs to leave."

It's rare that Hitch loses her happy go lucky attitude, so seeing her like this is a little jarring.

"I'll take it into consideration."

As you walk into the dorms, you pout about how your shitty day only got shittier. All you want to do is talk to your best friend, but that's obviously not gonna happen.

[ next ]

#mike zacharias x reader #miche zacharias x reader #aot x reader #aot fanfic #tw noncon #tw manipulation #and just to be safe #tw abuse

201 notes · View notes

slipping-through-my-fingertips · 3 years

Text

If Glee did a Taylor Swift Tribute Episode...

Just my opinions, feel free to add on to them. I know I have some fellow gleek swifties following me. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Obviously they have to do some of the hits but I think some people would have some out of the box picks.

*This post assumes all Taylor songs are available to choose from as of May 14th 2021 but focuses on Taylor’s first 6 albums (if you want more glee and Taylor I have fics with that; LOVER and FOLKLORE) and takes liberties with where this episode’s placement is in terms of canon. But since it’s all made up anyway who cares (but Blaine’s involved so I guess season 3 idk).*

Okay, trying to do a full plot here (completely inspired by @kurtdeservesbetter head canon posts. I hope this lives up to her fabulous posts). This will be my version of glee so everyone gets solos and Rachel can’t hog the spotlight. Also, this is about to be super long (both post wise and episode wise).

Let’s open the first episode with

...Ready For It because the New Directions are in their reputation era. Santana does the opening cough centerstage. Everyone in black and/or camo green outfits (can you just see Kurt in a dark green bedazzled snake jacket, Santana in a black leather dress, and Tina digging out some goth clothes for people to borrow?), snakes everywhere, but probably no Karyn (she just wouldn’t fit on the auditorium stage). Santana takes the first verse but we have Blaine step up for verse 2. (I just love their friendship in the Michael tribute, cute little badasses are BACK. Also him singing “Burton to this Taylor” is such a Klaine thing to do).

Everyone is still dressed in their rep outfits but we’re in the choir room now. Mr. Schue is talking about why Taylor had to disappear and clap back with rep, how rough the industry is for women and tries to uplift the ladies in the room and encourage them to not silence their voices (cue snarky comment from Santana about Rachel needing to be silent).

Then, Mr. Schue goes on about how you can only understand how Taylor got to her rep era by studying her earlier music. So we have a performance of Tim McGraw. Simple, front of the choir room performance, maybe Puck does guitar, and sitting on stools.

Everyone is surprised to find out how pumped Sam is for this assignment but he is all over it. “It's about time we did some country in this room.” Cue Sam and Quinn at her locker talking about their ‘date’ last night, Sam’s all cute and teasing and Quinn is not into it. She tells him it was fun but she was wrong, they shouldn’t do this again. In turn, he does a wonderful performance of Bye Bye Baby. He thought it was more but clearly he’s “a part of her past.”

Then, we’re in the empty choir room. Tina and Mike are there. (I love their cutesy duets) They sing Everything Has Changed and it’s utterly adorable. Can’t you hear Mike asking Tina if she’s “good to go” like Ed does? And while we’re on the subject of cute duets and RED, we flash to the courtyard to see Santana and Brittany. They turn Stay Stay Stay into a duet. “I’ve been loving you for quite some time,” “before you I only dated self-indulgent takers who took all their problems out on me,” “no one else is gonna love me when I’m mad, mad, mad,” and “it’s occurring to me that I’d like to hang out with you for my whole life” it’s perfect for them. Adorable ladies kisses are had.

Let’s toss in some boy drama for fun. Idk shit about football but somehow Puck is praised by their coach over Finn, which gets him all pissy, and Puck’s upset and jealous because Finn is back with Quinn now (this is why Quinn shut Sam now earlier, she changed her mind). Can we say duet of Bad Blood? “So if you’re coming my way...just don’t.”

After their dramatics, we have a Brittany solo in the choir room. It’s after school at this point (or whenever glee club is). Brittany does You’ll Always Find You Way Back Home.

When she finishes Mr. Schue tries to explain that it’s a Hannah Montana song. Britt injects that it’s confusing how she’s really Miley Cryus “like how can you be two people at once?”. Before Mr. Schue can continue, Kurt pipes up “you never specified that the songs had to be sung by Taylor Swift, just that they were her songs.” Mercedes adds, “yeah, Mr. Schue, Taylor wrote that song.” Mr. Schue concedes that he has once again been outwitted by Kurtcedes. The friends do their little hand shake thing.

With a sigh, Mr. Schue asks Mike if he’s ready to go and Mike asks to take things to the auditorium for some dancing room. Everyone’s on stage with him and it’s kind of a group number but Mike is the focus. It’s Shake It Off. All inspired by the music video. He’s tried to fit in elsewhere (i.e. football, with the smart kids, etc..) but he’s really himself in glee when he’s dancing.

Part 2 of Taylor Tribute Episodes

We begin with an ALL GIRL NUMBER of A Place In This World. Just because.

Glee is dismissed and we zoom in on Artie. He’s watching Tina with Mike and Brittany with Santana. Both Tina and Britt have broken his heart by this point. So, he’s rolling down the halls singing A Perfectly Good Heart. While Artie’s soloing, we cut to Rachel watching Finn and Quinn chatting. Artie’s song playing over this scene. Rachel is feeling similar to him at the moment.

She’s pretty sure Finn dumped her to be with Quinn again even though Kurt and Blaine told her they saw Quinn and Sam at the movies last night together making out in the back row. Fine, if that’s how he’s going to be, she doesn’t need him anyway. Cue Mr. Perfectly Fine. Uber dramatic solo performance walking around McKinley’s halls watching Finn and Quinn together ending in the auditorium alone. (see what I did there, both broken hearted peeps singing a song with Perfectly in it (this was not at all planned, actually, happy accident))

After some good old heartbreak, we have Kurt and Blaine on screen. Blaine walks into the auditorium to see Kurt sitting on the edge of the stage. “What’s all the fuss?” he asks from the door. Kurt had texted him “EMERGENCY.” The band starts to play and Kurt just starts singing, Enchanted. It’s time to profess their love for each other, just like they sing Perfect together in the car, this duet needs no audience. Blaine catches up and sings while walking towards his boyfriend. It’s very reminiscent of past New Directions competitions where they come in from the back and make their way to the stage. “Wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you?” Kurt and Blaine both know the answer to that question now but just a few months ago they were both wondering that exact thing.

They kiss before we cut to Kurt and Blaine walking hand in hand into the choir room where everyone else is already. Mr. Schue is praising the performances thus far and of course asks Rachel if she’s ready to solo (some practice for her completion solo). This causes an uproar from Mercedes and Santana. Another classic argument of how she gets too many solos. Mr. Schue tries to shut them both down but Santana tells Rachel to watch her back, and we get three very different reactions to this.

All three girls storm out.

First, we visit Mercedes alone in the courtyard. This solo is all about being hurt over this great thing in her life (glee) and her being denied happiness within that club. Thus, Cold As You. (mostly to indulge myself because she’d blow us away with this song).

Next, Rachel in the auditorium. A huge bridge on stage (very Speak Now Tour of her), belting out Better Than Revenge. Santana’s dropped the last straw (the humiliation, name calling, Finn at one point and now solos,) it’s too much this time.

And finally, Santana walking around McKinley, showing us flashes of Rachel ‘outshining’ her and the rest of glee and Mr. Schue being unfair, while singing Look What You Made Me Do.

Tina walks out at the same time as Rachel, Mercedes, and Santana but no one seems to put two and two together. She feels just as underutilized as the latter two do. She ends up in an empty classroom and sings The Outside. “Nobody ever lets me in” and “on the outside looking in.”

Once the 3, err 4, divas have left the room, Finn sticks up for Rachel. Quinn, of course, has something to say about this along the lines of “you always defend her.” Finn, intimated by her ‘scary Quinn’ fumbles and blurts “because she’s my girlfriend” WHICH IS NOT TRUE AT THIS POINT. Quinn dumps him on the spot, cuts quickly to Blaine and Kurt sharing some ‘oh my god, can you believe this’ expressions, and vanishes from the room.

By this point, Rachel is long gone from the auditorium but the bridge is still there.

Here’s where we go way off script but imagine, Quinn has decided to just quit boys. They’ve all failed her anyway, she’s better off being alone. She walks up the bridge and thinks to herself “god Rachel’s so dramatic, where did this thing even come from” before it hits her “fuck, I’m as bad as Finn. I want her.” Then, she starts singing Clean to herself in the auditorium, likely tearing up throughout and ending with a good cry. (Because Dianna would DELIVER with Clean.)

While Quinn is having a sexuality crisis, the rest of glee is still happening. They’re discussing upcoming competition and debating solos and songs.

Kurt’s all: “Mr. Schue, if I may” and performs a lovely rendition of Call It What You Want. Those opening lines are too good. “My castle (ie McKinley) crumbled overnight, brought a knife to a gun fight (ie couldn’t fight off Dave Karofsky), “I’m doing better than I ever was ‘cause my baby’s fit like a daydream,” and “at least I did one thing right.” When he’s done, Blaine’s a mess in the back of the choir room, and Mr. Schue says: “not really what we’re looking for but very nice, Kurt” however, Kurt’s too busy sitting beside Blaine teasing him about blushing.

Then, the missing girls return to the room having sung out their emotions. Quinn, having realized her feelings for Rachel, ends up soloing You Belong With Me to the New Directions in the choir room. Odd looks all around, no one knows what’s up with her and why does she keep glancing at Rachel? (Faberry just fit so well I had to add it, don’t know if I’m a shipper or not but it’s here now) (also thanks to @spicygemini for pointing out the obvious “Quinn would have ate YBWY”).

Mr. Schue wants to move the group to the audition to perform their final number of the Taylor Swift tribute well but Tina asks to sing first. He’s surprised but allows it, taking a seat with the rest of the New Directions.

Tina sings Beautiful Ghosts. “Watch from the dark, wait for my life to start” because New Directions is refusing to use her talents AGAIN. She’s singing this to Rachel and the girls who were in the Treble Tones. Because she absolutely SMASHES this number, the glee kids agree she gets solo for their next competition (and they deliver on that promise).

To conclude Part 2 of the Taylor tribute episode, we have a group performance of Long Live. “One day we will be remembered”, “all the years we stood there on the sidelines wishing for right now”, “for a moment a band of thrives in ripped up jeans got to rule the world” ie wining completions, “when they look at the pictures please tell them my name...”

#this took so long please enjoy it #Taylor tribute glee episode #glee head canon #gleek swifie #glee #taylor swift

70 notes · View notes

freddiekluger · 3 years

Text

Why Cap Being Internally Closeted Is Not Only Possible, But Valid Representation

i wrote this to a lot of mitski and onsind, so you can’t blame me for any feelings that bleed through

now i don’t know if it actually exists, but i’ve heard of there being a lot of discourse surrounding the captains story arc regarding his sexuality- i believe the general gist is that having a queer character that remains closeted to themselves is either unrealistic or ‘bad’ representation, and as someone who really treasures the captain and relates to his story so far a lot, i thought i might break this down a bit.

i’ve divded up every complaint i’ve heard about this into four main questions which i’ll be covering below the ‘keep reading’, because this is gonna be pretty comprehensive. full disclaimer i reference my experiences as an ex-evangelical non binary butch lesbian a couple times, and i spent a year studying repression and the psychological impacts of high demand sexual ethics for my graduating sociology paper, so this is coming with some background to it i swear

the big questions:

can you EVEN be gay and not know it????

but isn't this just ANOTHER coming out arc, and aren't we supposed to be moving beyond those?

but if cap can't have a relationship with a man because he's a ghost, what's the point?

since cap's dead, isn't this technically bury your gays, and isn't that bad?

1. "but is it really possible to not know? Isn't that bad representation?"

short answer: no and no.

before i get into the validity of the captain's ignorance about his own orientation as 21st century rep, let's break down how the hell the captain can be so clearly attracted to men and still not even consider the possibility that he might be gay, as brought to you by someone who literally experienced this shit.

the captain's particular situation is both a direct result of the lack of information around human sexuality he would have had (aka clear messaging that it's actually possible for him to be attracted to men. i don't mean acceptable or allowed, i mean physically capable of happening- the idea that orientations other than heterosexual exist and are available to him, a man), and a subconscious survival mechanism. the environment in which he lives is outright hostile to gay people, while the military man identity he has constructed for himself doesn't allow for any form of deviation from societal norms, let alone one so base level and major. as a result of this killer combo of information and environment, instincts take over and the mind does it's best to repress the ‘deviant’ feelings until a. one of these two things changes, or b. the act of repression becomes so destructive and/or exhuasting that it becomes impossible to maintain. the key to maintaining a long-term state of repression of desire is diverting that energy elsewhere, and a high-demand group such as the military is the perfect place for the captain to do this (this technqiue is frequented by religions and extremist ideologies worldwide, but that’s not really what we’re here to focus on).

while the brain is actively repressing ‘deviant’ feelings (aka gay shit), this doesn't mean you don't experience the feelings at all. when performed as a subconscious act of survival, the aim of repression is to minimise/transform the feelings into a state where they can no longer cause immediate danger, and something as big as sexual/romantic orientation is going to keep popping up, but as long as the individual in question never understands what they’re feeling, they’ll be able to continue relatively undisturbed. you know how in heist movies, the leader of the group will only tell each team member part of the plan so they can’t screw things up for everyone else if they get caught? it’s kind of like that.

this is how the captain appears to have operated in life AND in death, and it’s a relatively common experience for lgbtq people who’ve grown up in similar circumstances (aka with a lack of information and in an unfriendly-to-hostile environment), and accounts for how some people can even go on to get married and have children before realising that they’re gay and/or trans.

personally, while i can now identify what were strong homo crushes all the way back to childhood, at the time i genuinely had no idea. there was the underlying sense that i probably shouldn't tell people how attached i was to these girls because i would seem weird, and that my feelings were stronger than the ones other people used to describe friendships, but like-like them in the way that other girls like-liked boys? no way! actually scratch that, it wasn't even a no way, because i had no idea that i even could. i even had my own havers, at least in terms of the emotional hold and devotion she got from me, except she treated me way less well than cap’s beau. snatches of the existence of lgbt people made it through the cone of silence, i definitely heard the words gay and lesbian, but my levels of informations mirrored those that the captain would have had: virtually none, beyond the idea that these words exist, some people are them, and that's not something that we support or think is okay, so let's just not speak about it. despite only attending religious schools for the first couple years of primary, until i got my own technology and social media accounts to explore lgbtq content on my own- option a out of the two catalysts for change- the possibility of me being gay was not at all on my radar. don’t even get me started on how long it took me to explore butchness and my overall gender, two things which now feel glaringly obvious.

when shit starts to break down, you can also make the conscious choice to repress which can delay the eventual smashing down of the mental closet door for a time (essentially when the closet door starts to open, you just say ‘no thanks’ and shut it again by pointedly Not Thinking About It). in the abscence of identifying yourself by your attractions, it becomes quite common to identify with a lack- in my case, this meant becoming proud of how sensible and not boy crazy i was, and in the captain’s case, this means becoming proud of how sensible and not sensuous/wild (aka woman crazy) he was, identifying with his LACK of desire for women and partying (which, even in the 40s, involved the expectation of opposite sex romances and hook ups). i’m not saying that’s the only reason he’s a rule follower, but i think the contrast between About Last Night and Perfect Day pretty much support this. (the captain getting on his high horse about general party antics that he inherently felt excluded from because of underlying awareness of his difference & his tendency to project his regimented expectations of himself onto others, vs. joining in the reception party, awareness of how the environment supports difference in the form of clare and sam, and relaxing his own rules by dancing with men- the captain doesn’t mind a party when feels like he has a place there.)

so the captain was operating in a high demand, highly regulated environment (primarily the military, but also early 20th century England itself), with regimented roles, rules, and expectations. working on the assumption that he wouldn't have had out/disclosing lgbt friends, he would have had little to no exposure to lgbt identities, and what information he did receive would have been hushed and negatively geared. while my world started to open up when i started high school was allowed to have my own phone + instagram account, resulting in me realising something wasn't quite 'right' within a few years (making me a relatively early realiser compared to those who don't come out to themselves until adulthood), in life the captain never had that experience. he didn't receive the information he needed, his environment didn't grow less hostile. with the near-exception of havers related heartbreak, his well disciplined and lifelong method of repression never became destructive/exhaustive enough to permanently override the danger signals in his mind and allow him to put his feelings into words. neither of the most common catalysts for change happened for him, so he continued as usual, even after his death.

BUT, and here’s where we come to why this is actually great representation, arrival of mike and Alison represents the opening up of new world. for the first time, the captain is actively made aware of the fact that his environment is no longer hostile, and better than that, it’s affirming. he’s also getting access to positively geared information about lgbtq people and identities, so option a of the two catalysts for change is absolutely present, and resoundingly positive.

the captain’s arc is also relatively unique as it acknowledges the oppressive nature of his environment, but actually focuses on the internal consequences, and the way that systems like those that the captain lived in succeed because they turn us into our own oppressors. for whatever reason, we repress ourseslves, and often can’t help it, and i find that the significance of the journey to overcome that is often overlooked in more mainstream queer media. perhaps it’s just not very cinematic, or it remains too confronting for cishet audiences, but ghosts manages to touch on it with a lovely amount of humour and hope. Jamie Babbit’s But I’m A Cheerleader is another favourite piece of queer media for the same reasons.

not only does it show this, but as the captain continues to get gayer and lean into some of his less conventional traits (like an interest in fashion and the wedding planning), it shows lgbt people who have been or are going through this that there CAN be a positive outcome. it takes a lot to unlearn all the things that have painted you as wrong, especially when a massive institution is desperate to continue doing so, but you can do it, you can be happy, and it's never too late. (i've been meaning to say that last point for ages for ages, but a mutual beat me to it here)

2. not just another coming out arc

i absolutely support the demand for queer stories that don’t center around coming out (it’s like shrodinger’s queer: if you’re not coming out on screen, do you really even exist?), but i don’t align with the criticisms that the captain should already be out. for the reasons mentioned above, the captain’s particular story is fairly different to the ‘young white teenager who mostly knows gay is fine, it’s just everyone else that’s got the problem, but have a unremarkably straight sounding soundtrack, a trauma porn romance, and a cishet saviour’ that we keep seeing. the captain’s ongoing journey with his sexuality emphasises the overaching theme of the show: recovering from trauma and humanity’s endless capacity for growth, and i think that’s worth showing over and over again until it stops being true.

additionally, while the captain’s journey regarding his gayness is a big part of his character and story, ghosts makes it clear that it’s not the ONLY part, and being gay is far from his ONLY characteristic or dramatic/comedic engine. the fact that i’m even having to congratulate ghosts for doing that really shows how much film and television is struggling huh.

while all queer media is, and should be, subject to criticism, i think if it helps even one person then it absolutely deserves to exist, and i can say i’ve found the captain’s journey to be the lgbt story i’ve found that’s closest to my own, which says a lot considering he’s a dead world war 2 soldier who hangs out with other ghosts including a slutty Tory, a georgian noblewoman, and a literal caveman.

3. if captain gay, why he no have boyfriend????

another complaint that’s been circulating is that since the captain doesn’t, and likely won’t, have a boyfriend, that makes him Bad Representation because it follows the sad single gay trope. i kind of get the logic from this one, and a lot of it is up to personal interpretation, but part of me really enjoys the fact that the captain’s journey towards accepting himself is separated from having a relationship.

coming out is often paired with having romantic/sexual relationships (either as the reason or reward for doing so). my own struggle with repression didn't end the second that came out, and i still struggle with letting myself develop & acknowledge romantic feelings as a result of actively shutting them (and most other feelings in general) down for years, and statistics show that lgbtq youth in particular tend not to live out their 'teen years' until their twenties. by not giving cap a relationship straight away, ghosts separates the act of claiming identity and sexual orientation from finding a partner (two things which are, more often than not, separate), and also provides some very nice validation to folks who have yet to have the relationship they want, especially when lots of mainstream queer media is now jumping on the cishet media bandwagon of acting as if every person loses their virginity and has a life defining relationship at sixteen. it’s essentially a continuation of the earlier theme of “it’s never too late”, and who’s to say the captain won’t get a gay bear ghost boyfriend to go haunt nazis with??? people die all the time, it could happen.

(also, i think him and julian will have definitely shagged at least once. it was a low moment for both of them and they refuse to speak of it.)

lots of asexual/ace spectrum fans have come out to say how much they’ve loved being able to headcanon cap as ace, and while that’s not a headcanon i personally have, i think it’s brilliant that ace fans feel seen by his character- we’re all in this soup together babey (and sorry for cursing everyone still reading this with that cap/julian headcanon. i’m just a vessel)

4. “okay, but cap’s a GHOST- doesn’t that make this Bury Your Gays?”

this is a bit of a complex one, but i’m going to say no as a result of the following break down.

Bury Your Gays (BYG), aka the trope where lgbtq characters are consistently killed off (and often with a heavy dose of trauma, while cishet characters survive) is probably one of my least favourite lgbt media tropes. BYG has two main points:

1. the lgbt character is killed, thus removing them from story entirely- hence the use of the phrase ‘killed OFF’ (killed off of the show/film)

2. the character’s death reinforces the perception that lgbtq people’s lives must end in tragedy, instead of being long and fulfilling, or are inherently less valuable. bonus points if the character is killed in a hate crime or confesses same-gender love right before they die (that one implies that queer love genuinely has no future!)

not every death of an lgbtq character is bury your gays, and i personally feel that the captain is an example of an lgbt death that isn’t.

first of all, while the captain is dead, so are the vast majority of characters in ghosts. the premise of the show means that death is not the end of the line for its characters- for most of them, it’s the only reason we get to see them on screen at all. as such, the captain being dead doesn’t remove him from the story, so point one is irrelevant.

at the time of posting, we don’t know how or why the captain died, but we've had nothing to suggest his death was in any way related to his latent sexuality, so his mysterious death doesn’t actively play into the supposedly inherent tragedy of queer lives, nor the supposedly lesser value. that’s as of right now- since we don’t know the circumstances of his death it’s a little tough to analyse properly. while the captain’s life absolutely features missed opportunities and it’s fair share of tragedy, hope and growth (which seems to be the theme of this post) abounds in equal measure. the captain may not be alive, but we DO get to see him growing and having a relatively happy existence, that for the most part seems to be getting even better as he learns to open up and be himself unapologetically- that doesn’t feel like BYG to me.

while writng this, it’s just occured to me that death really is a second chance for most of the ghosts, especially with the introduction of alison. from mary learning to read, to thomas finding modern music, they’ve all been given the chance explore things they never could have while they were alive, and hopefully grow enough to one day be sucked off move on.

in conclusion,

i love the captain very much and i hope his arc lives up to the standards it’s set so far. i don’t know where to put this in this post, but i’d alo like to say i LOVE how in Perfect Day, the captain wasn’t used as an educational experienced for fanny at all. i am very tired of people expecting me to be the walking talking homophobe educator and rehabilitator, so the fact that it’s alison and the other ghosts that call fanny out while the captain just gets to have fun with the wedding organisation made me very happy.

here’s a few other cap posts that i’ve done:

the captain’s arc if adam and the film crew stayed

a possible cap coming out

the captain backstory headcanon

if you’ve read this far,

thank you!

also check out @alex-ghosts-corner , this post inspired me very much to write this

#i subluxed all my fingers and wrists doing this but worth it #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts headcanon #bbc ghosts analysis #the captain #caphavers #the captain x havers #ben willbond #lgbt representation #lgbt rep #queer media #lgbt media

205 notes · View notes