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sanjisboyfie · 4 months

Text

when you know, you know.

-> basketball player gojo satoru x male reader

requested!!! a rlly old req from an anon in my inbox <3 ty for the req and jm so sorry it took so long however the 6k+ word count hopefully makes up for that. + listen to margaret by lana del rey on repeat for the full affect

-> prev

warnings : satoru ooc (i do NOT agree w that warning but i GUESS I could see why someone would disagree 🙄🙄🙄), very fluffy to the point it seems angsty!!! talk about the homosexuals!!!! satoru mentions small familial conflict in the interview portion

diamond on your ring

cause when you know, you know

when you know, you know

“thank you so much for agreeing to a sit down interview, gojo-sama,” the interviewer politely bows to the tall man the second satoru walks into the room. immediately, he bows in response, finding the sudden formalities almost abnormal.

at this point, he was so used to other interviews he’d done be super quick, informal and just reporters looking for answers to their questions with little regard for things such as respect.

this was a breath of fresh air, but satoru couldn’t help but feel bad for the interviewer whose back must be hurting now with how long they’d been bowing.

“oh, please, no need for such strong formalities,” satoru chimed in, gently resting his hand on their shoulder to goad them into standing upright, “gojo is fine, too, no need for the honorifics. it’s not like i’m royalty,” he joked, hoping to lift the mood in the room.

it seemed to work as the interviewer finally cracked a smile and dropped their shoulders from being so stiffly held up to their ear.

“then, gojo-san, please take a seat and we can get you all mic’d up for the interview. it should take no longer than a half hour, longest running an hour and a half, but we really don’t want to take up too much of your time,” satoru shook his head, assuring them that it was fine and then taking his seat.

he noticed that the cameras were already filming, but didn’t think twice on it. technically, from the moment he stepped foot in the room, the interview already started. that’s what it said on paper, at least.

“erm, to just go over what we might be discussing in this interview,” the reporter said, clearing their throat as they looked over their list of questions, “since this is a very specific interview, the questions are going to mainly be centered around your romantic relationships and very personal questions,”

satoru nodded, moving in his seat to allow the staff better access in getting the microphone to stay hidden in his clothes, “yeah, my manager sent me the general idea of questions of stuff you’d be asking, it’s alright with me,” he said, taking off his sunglasses, “plus i think i’m pretty familiar with the publisher and the audience, so it’s alright. really, ask me anything, this would probably the only time i’d do something like this,” he encouraged with a friendly smile, trying to show his genuinity.

the interviewer nodded in understanding, clicking their pen and writing a note in their notepad.

satoru had done his research beforehand. the publisher that was interviewing him, or rather the person interviewing him in steed of the company, was a pretty vocal LGBTQ+ company. it was a rare occurance in japanese media, especially as a standalone party, but they proved successful. satoru knew why they were interviewing him, obviously because he was gay and very outwordly apart of the community. he also knew that they were always respectful individuals, which is why he didn’t hesitate in accepting the interview.

if he was going to be asked about his sexuality and his very much gay relationship, he’d rather it be done through a respectful, and most likely very understanding, person rather than those that would shout at him invasive questions.

“then, are you ready, gojo-san?” the interviewer snapped him out of his daydream, making him nod his head. “let’s test the mic really quick, then we can jump into it,”

“i am gojo satoru,” he recited, looking at the staff for a thumbs up on the feedback. when he got a positive thumbs up, the interviewer followed with their own test and then they were able to get into the interview.

“let’s start with introductions, i’m ishii haruto and i’ll be the one interviewing you today, gojo-san. lovely to meet you,” he bowed his head in greeting, making satoru follow suit.

a relaxed grin was on his face as he introduced himself again, “i haven’t said it before, but i’m gojo satoru,” it was a small joke that uplifted the mood of the room once more. haruto appreciated it, laughing to himself at satoru’s subtle charisma.

”well, to get right into the interview, let’s start with hard hitting questions,” satoru braced himself, clenching his fists in his pant’s pocket, “how are you?”

satoru smiled, shooting a fake warning look haruto’s way, “i’m wonderful, how are you ishii-san? i hope you’re doing well, too,”

“i’m doing very well. it’s an honor to interview you, thank you for giving us this opportunity,” haruto said, subtly bowing his head once more, “you truly don’t understand how inspiring it will be for the rest of japan to hear your story, you’re doing such a big thing for all of us in this room, and for those that will read this interview later. so, really, thank you, gojo-san,”

satoru pursed his lips at the sentimentality, realizing quickly that this interview was going to be really different than anything he’d ever experienced before. “sobering” up a little bit, he smiled at haruto and nodded his head, “i’m happy to be here, too. i hope whoever reads this learns something about themselves,”

“yes, that will be the end goal,” haruto agreed before looking down at his notepad, “well, i guess we can just start off with this one — when did you know you were gay?”

satoru hummed, “i don’t really know. for me, i guess it was always in the back of my mind? i mean, i never had a crush on a girl growing up. and i thought it was normal. my parents did as well, seeing how driven i was from a young age to be successful in basketball, i think they wrote it off as me just being determined to make my dreams come true. no time for distractions, or something like that. but deep down, i think i always knew.” he paused, crossing his legs as he decided to add one more tidbit, “and i never thought it was wrong, either. to me, having a crush on a boy wasn’t a big deal. i just thought, huh, this sucks i like someone, i might get distracted from basketball now,”

the two shared a laugh at his joking remark at the end, but until that point the interviewer was very immersed in the personal story. he was even humming in acknowledgement of everything he was saying, as if he related.

“so when you began pursuing your current boyfriend, it was not a big deal for you? even given your position as a famous basketball player?” then haruto looked at the camera men and held his hand up, a signal of some sort that satoru was cued in on, and leaned forward, “would it be alright if we refer to him with his name?”

satoru quickly nodded, understanding now that the hand gesture meant for their mics to be cut so that they wouldn’t receive any audio.

then they were back on and satoru answered the original question, “no, it wasn’t a huge deal. well, it was to everyone else, i guess. but to me and my close friends, it wasn’t. they already knew i was really into him and had a big crush on him before i did, so it really wasn’t a big shock when i made my efforts more obvious. well, as obvious as you can get with having everyone watching you. i tried to reel it in a little when my friend’s told me he may not be comfortable with all the attention, that was the only time i really was aware of it and began to calm down on my advances,”

“oh, so it wasn’t a big deal to you, but in consideration of his feelings, you kind of held back a little bit?”

“yeah, because if things ended up not working out, then all the neutral attention we were getting would have become negative. rumors could’ve started that would’ve hurt him, and i definitely didn’t want that, so yeah,” satoru said, reiterating his main point from earlier, “i just wanted him to be comfortable whenever we were in public,”

“that’s really considerate of you, gojo-san,” the interviewer complimented, making satoru laugh with a wave of his hand.

“he never asked for all the attention in the first place, i definitely didn’t want to make our already secretive position more hostile than it needed to be,” satoru explained, “so everything had to be toned down. fortunately, he was very understanding and could see where i was coming from.”

“what do you mean by that? did he ever say anything about it?”

“well, we’re just like any other couple. we just want privacy and respect, some people don’t want to give it to us. those people that just want to hurt our relationship just because we’re both guys. if i wasn't as famous as i am, i’d imagine it’d be easier to mange. not that it still wouldn’t be stressful — but at least, not the entire country would be breathing down our necks,” satoru explained, choosing his words carefully. “no matter what, though, if you’re in a relationship with someone of the same sex, it’s going to be hard.”

“that’s true, but you two have faced a lot of very hard obstacles. it’s sad how many times people have wished to see you two broken up,” haruto said, an angry look on his face, “how did you two manage to overcome those obstacles?”

“well, we had each other, loved ones, and close friends as support systems. they were really helpful and sweet, they were the most understanding. but i think, the most important one, was that we had each other. we were in it together. not to say that all the negative attention was good or even worth it, but it made our love for one another stronger,” satoru sighed, thinking about the early days when he was first officially dating [name], “i just wish they were nicer to him. he didn’t deserve any of it,”

there was a pause of respect from haruto before they continued on, “you said you had support of loved ones and close friends — were they supportive from the get-go or did it take “convincing” for them to understand?”

“most of them were really understanding and could see that my love for him was too strong to be denied, so that was nice. but there were definitely instances of family members not understanding or simply refusing to support,” satoru answered with a grim look on his face.

“how did you deal with that?”

“well, it was mainly family members, unfortunately, that rejected my lifestyle. so i had to do the best thing and cut them off. i couldn’t have them in my ear telling me that i wasn’t meant to be this way or that [name] and i’s relationship had to be put to a stop. so i cut them off completely and haven’t spoken to them since. i could afford to make that sacrifice since i had [name] and others as support. he really helped me through that and the realization that not everyone will understand or see it as we do…you just have to learn how to deal with it in each situation and circumstance,”

haruto hummed in intrigue and understanding, “was it hard? cutting them off and coming to that realization?”

“i would say it wasn’t as hard as one would think…not when i love [name] so much i’d sacrifice anything to be with him. i wasn’t going to settle for anything passive aggressive or half-assed when it came to support of my relationship with him. like i said, i wasn’t going to let anyone bad mouth him or our relationship, i wouldn’t settle for that in exchange of keeping blood relatives around. even if someone is family, if they hurt someone i love, it still counts for something. they’re still hurting him and in turn hurting me. that’s not family anymore,” satoru said definitively. he had a hard look on his face. almost the one that was only mirrored whenever he was on the court. it showed how serious of a topic it was to him.

“seeing you so be so openly protective and in love with your boyfriend has gotten you two a lot of attention over the years, most of it is praise from others since they do think it’s adorable. does affection that you show [name] come very naturally?”

“of course it does,” satoru grinned, happy to move onto more lighthearted topics. he had the widest grin on his face now, thinking of when he would go home and cuddle his boyfriend, “i’m a very affectionate person, anyway. ask suguru, he’ll tell you,” with the reference to his best friend, who plays on the same team as him, haruto grins, “but i made sure that [name] was comfortable with it first and then went on from what he was okay with, until we got to the point right now where we both don’t really care,

if i know i’m in love with my boyfriend, i want other people to know as well. there was a bad rep surrounding me, in my early days especially. everyone thought i was a playboy, for some reason,” he shyly scratched the back of his head, “so i thought that me showing that i was very loyal and very much in love with my boyfriend, people would stop thinking that of me. and it worked! so, it was a win-win situation,”

haruto nods, looking at his cue cards with a grin, “and you two have had a really long relationship-”

“almost coming on 5 years now,” satoru giggles, a blush evident on his pale cheeks, “it doesn’t feel that long, though,”

“yeah, it’s as if it was only yesterday the two of you made it public and sent everyone into a panic,” the two laugh at the memory. the headlines that day going hysterical over the basketball player’s very much gay personal life. “and since you’ve been in a relationship for so long, has it ever crossed your mind to tie the knot permanently? settle down with [name]?”

satoru paused, the smile on his face faltering ever so slightly as he repeated the question in his mind.

marriage with [name] always was the answer. but, the idea of when and where and how never crossed satoru’s mind. well, it did. in repeated passing thoughts. but, never long enough for him to commit to the idea. he’s thought of how he would do it, where, but never really when. and even then, the how and where were never set in stone. he wanted it to be romantic, definitely had to be something that the two would retell to their kids one day as the most romantic and loving gesture satoru has ever done.

but “when”…satoru never put a pin in the calendar on what date.

he hummed where he sat, resting his chin in his palms as he thought about how to answer.

“huh, well…i know i’m going to marry him someday,” satoru assures the interviewer, who was silently panicking that they had accidentally asked a question too invasive, “but, i think i’ll keep the details of that to myself, haha,” satoru played it off as a tease, but internally he was sweating bullets.

there was never going to be a right time. a right time insinuates a moment where satoru is so overwhelmed with love that a proposal would be the only verbal indicator of that feeling.

but, satoru has been so madly and deeply in love with [name] for so long already that the “right time” feels like every waking moment.

when the two moved in together, made that huge, empty house a home for themselves. when he took [name] on their first overseas trip and they learned even more about each other. when satoru takes him home for the holidays where he just so perfectly matches with his family members and comes even more out of his shell.

satoru’s been so in love with [name] for so long it feels like they’re already married. [name] knows him like the back of his hand and vice versa.

it was as if he always knew. he just knew in the back of his mind that they’d end up standing in perfectly tailored suits at the end of the aisle, saying heartfelt and cheesy vows to each other. satoru knows he’ll probably end up crying more than [name] and he knows that that day will be the happiest he’ll ever be.

the question made his head spin around as a flurry of questions of when he would propose filled his head, but it did solidify one thing. the fact that satoru just knows that one day he’ll end up being [name]’s husband and [name] his. and he wants that day to come sooner rather than later.

”well, i think the final question for our interview today that can wrap this up, will be: do you have any advice for young aspiring individuals that might read this and see this side of you?”

satoru gulped, suddenly feeling as if the temperature in the room had gone up twenty degrees. he tugged on the collar of his button up, swallowing as he spoke carefully, “just always be true to yourself and your dreams. it doesn’t matter what other people think because if you know what you want and you know that it’s your dreams on the line, there shouldn’t be anything standing between you and that goal. whether it be a person you want to pursue or if it’s your dream career, don’t give up.” he attempted a smile at haruto and it seemed to have done its work as the interviewer bowed his head deeply in gratitude.

the two finished the closing remarks of the interview with fluidity. he handed the mic back to the staff, who thanked him with their heads bowed. but before he could leave, he pulled haruto aside and lowered his voice, “uhm, could you hold off on publishing this for a while?”

haruto blinked rapidly, a nervous look coming onto his face, “well, the editing and transcription of the video will take some time, probably a little over a month…how long were you thinking of keeping it under wraps, gojo-san?”

it was a plead to not make him push the publication date back further. satoru hums, “a little over a month?”

“yes, that is what my advisor gave me as a “grace” period in editting everything,” haruto nods, the nervous look on his face not disappearing once.

“that should be alright then, sorry for worrying you. a little over a month is fine,” satoru grins, feeling his chest bloom with warmth. “thank you so much for the interview, have a lovely day,”

and with that parting farewell, satoru rushed out of the building with his mask and sunglasses on and practically jumped into his car.

in the safety confines of his car, satoru rested his head against the wheel. his breathing was rapid and his cheeks were ablaze. was he really going to do this? he looked at his phone that had the directions sent to the nearest luxury jewelry shop, his eyes flitting across the screen to take all the information in.

“seriously, satoru?” he panted to himself, leaning back to his seat and looking up at his car roof, “it took some guy interviewing you to grow the balls to do this? really?”

he cursed himself for waiting so long, setting his car into reverse and speeding his way to the shop. he had his sunglasses, hat, and mask on as he exited his car, careful to try and not attract too much attention. if the media caught light of this before he could properly do it, he would have someone’s head on a spike - he didn’t care.

no one was ruining this for him. for [name], too. satoru wasn’t going to let the stupid papparazzi tarnish this moment, as they had done for so many other intimate ones before this.

satoru grit his teeth, pushing the shop door open and breathing a sigh of relief to find that it was empty. he looked at the displays they had out, acting calm when on the inside he was sweating bullets.

“looking for anything in particular?” the attendent asked him, not at all acknowleding his appearance which meant that his disguise had worked.

he cleared his throat, still looking down as he shakily replied, “wedding rings, wedding rings for men, please,”

thank god the attendent wasn’t an asshole or else satoru might’ve really just slammed his head into the wall in frustration. because the attendent just guided him in the direction of where the men’s wedding rings were. he didn’t speak more either, just hovering around in case satoru needed help.

“fuck,” he cursed under his breath, trying his hardest to focus and think about which one [name] would like the most. “fuck, what if i get him one he doesn’t like? what the fuck does that mean for us? oh my god,” he panicked.

and it was almost funny. a 6’6 lean guy practically clutching his chest to stop his heart from jumping out of his ribs and flopping around on the floor. he was seriously getting heart palpitations, satoru swore this is the most nervous he’s ever been in his life.

what the fuck would he say when he actually proposes?

“i love you, marry me?”

fuck no. gojo satoru wasn’t going to settle for a shit proposal like that. and he certainly wasn’t going to settle for a shitting ring either, but it was so stressful thinking of whether or not his boyriend (manifest: soon to be fiance) would like the one he picked out.

satoru never was the one with good fashion or style sense in the relationship.

he was freaking out.

some of the rings on display were too loud and extravagant that he knew [name] wouldn’t enjoy it, but then going for someting super, duper plain was out of the question.

“do you have a particular agenda in mind?”

“i have nothing in my mind right now,” satoru snapped at the worker, apologizing seconds later, “i’m sorry, i’m just really stressed right now.”

“it’s alright, many are when they come in. they see the displayed rings and get self-conscious of the one that they choose. well, just go with your gut feeling on what you and your partner would like. that’s the best advice i can give you. you know them best, after all,”

this fucking attendent was right, satoru knows his own boyfriend (manifest: soon to be fiance) better than anyone. he just has to see something to spark an inspiration in him.

and he thinks he’s found it when he looks at a particular timeless piece that is cushioned on a small red velvet pillow.

“what can you tell me about that one?” satoru asked, although he’s almost completely set on just buying it right now. it was perfect. the coupled ring that pairs with it was also so effortlessly something he would love to wear as well.

”that one is in the style of an eternity ring, with the VVS diamonds cut into an emerald shape, obviously. the metal is platnium with 11 carats,” the attendent skillfully answers, “goes for about 9,871,750 yen ($70,000 USD). we offer installment plans, though-”

“no, i’ll just take it, thanks, though,” satoru said, easily sliding his card over. “i also want the paired one too,”

“that one is-”

“you don’t have to tell me about it or the price, just box them pretty for me and i’ll be on my way,” satoru grinned, looking at the bills he had in his wallet and pulling out a couple 10,000 yen notes, (adding up to about 200,000 yen - $1,417 USD). as the attendent very meticulously packaged the rings safely, satoru slid over the cash to him.

“thanks for helping,” satoru said, tapping his card and approving the transaction before walking out of the store. the hefty cash tip left on the counter for the attendent to gleam at.

and if he thought that the picking the ring part was hard, now he had to come up with how he was actually going to propose.

he always said that he wanted it to be romantic, but with [name] already waiting at home there was no way he could set something up at their own house. and, honestly, he wanted this to not be so public in fear of it leaking to the headlines. so he would have to settle with making it romantic in his home.

but, the more he thought about it, the more carefree he felt in the atmosphere. as long as [name] was just there exisisting, that was all he could ask for. satoru carefully pocketed the velvet box into his pant leg, keeping the pair safe as he drove back home completely undetected by papparazzi.

when he got home, he had to stop himself from automatically calling out to his boyfriend (manifest: soon to be fiance). the “honey, i’m home,” died in the back of his throat, thankfully, so his arrival home was still a secret. he took off his shoes and walked up the stairs to their shared bedroom where [name] was most likely resting.

it wasn’t too late, but by now his bedtime routine was probably done and he was getting comfortable in bed.

and satoru’s assumptions were right because when he gently pushed the bedroom door open, he saw [name] cuddled into a pillow and watching the TV that was set up against the wall. upon closer inspection, satoru saw that the pillow he was cuddling was actually from his side of the bed. he was cuddling his pillow as he waited for him to come home.

that, unfortunately, made satoru breakdown in tears almost right away. his eyes stung with the salty fluid breaking through his composure. [name] was too far to notice, though, simply lifting his head and waving him over with a loving smile, “you’re home! wow, you were so quiet i barely heard you come in,”

and when satoru just silently stood at the doorway, his hand covering his mouth, that made [name] get up out of bed in worry.

“hey, are you okay? what happened?” then he saw the way satoru’s broad shoulders shook, rushing over and holding him in his arms in an instant, “was it the interviewer? are you okay, satoru? talk to me,” satoru only broke down more, making [name] comfortingly rub up and down his back with “shh”s slipping from his mouth every now and then.

“satoru, are you okay?” [name] worriedly asked, gently pulling him towards the bed and urging him to sit. once the tall man was sat down, he immediately wrapped his arms around him again, hugging him as tight as he could to give him some sort of comfort, “you’re scaring me, satoru, what happened?”

satoru took a couple of seconds to collect himself, holding onto [name] in his arms as a means of grounding himself. but if anything, it made it worse. he was reminded that [name] was really real and not some figment of his imagination. he wasn’t just some “dream” guy, he was real and he was his.

[name] was sitting in their bed with him and comforting him lovingly. he was real and satoru never felt as lucky as he did than right now in this moment.

“nothing happened,” satoru breathed out, pulling [name] back from his torso so that he could properly speak to him. “i’m okay, really,”

“satoru, you’re crying. it’s okay, you can tell me,” [name] said softly, pushing his wet bangs aside and looking into his teary blue eyes, “it’s okay,”

satoru bit his lip, admiring the features of his boyfriend for a couple more seconds. how gentle his touch was, the hand caressing his face only having the lightest featherlike feeling against his skin. how concerned his e/c eyes were, staring into him and understanding him like no one else ever has.

he is so beautiful, satoru thought to himself. he squeezed [name]’s hand that was resting in his lap, making the man look down at their joined fingers.

”satoru?”

“i just,” he took in a deep breath, “i love you so much, you know that right?”

he almost laughed at the suggestion, but [name] politely nodded instead, “of course i know that, you show me everyday. i love you, too,”

satoru nuzzled his cheek further into [name]’s touch, relishing in the way the man’s warmth fell onto his skin.

“i love you so much, i’d do anything for you,” satoru breathed out, looking past his wet white eyelashes and into [name]’s concern eyes, “i’d do anything, i mean it. i love you so, so, so much [name],”

“satoru, you’re really scaring me. what’s going on?”

“nothing bad, i promise. just, please, let me?” satoru begged, voice hoarse and tight as he pleaded with [name]. and with a patient nod coming from the man, he continued on, “you’ve made me so happy, happier than i’ve ever been, these past couple of years. you deal with me and my annoying bullshit everyday, you make sure i’m healthy and happy even when you’re so tired. you always take care of me, more than i give you credit for and i’m sorry that i’m so selfish sometimes. but, i promise i’ll do better. i’ll be better, for you. anything you want me to be, i’ll work so hard in becoming, for you. i want to make you as happy as you make me,” satoru gulps, feeling his throat closing up and his tears welling back up, “i love you so much, [name],”

taking in all of his words, [name]’s eyebrows furrowed in confliction. he still didn’t know if he should be concerned and worried or just let satoru go on. but then he felt his own eyes well up with tears when he felt how sincere satoru was being. how tight his large hand was holding his own, as if he were afraid that he’d slip away if his grip on him loosened even the slightest.

even when he tried lifting that hand up to wipe his tears away, satoru didn’t let him, keeping a steady grip on his hand. instead, his slender fingers came up to the side of his face and wiped the tears away with a calm smile on his face.

“you make me so happy, [name]. and i'm so happy to be here with you. you make everything worth it,” satoru said softly, “you love me so gently, so softly — unlike anyone else in my life has. you’re my entire world. i don’t know what i’d do without you here. i know i’m meant to stay by your side forever. i know my place in the world is wherever you are.”

there was a pause as now both of them were crying messes.

[name]’s eyes were shut as he tried to wipe his stream of tears away. so he didn’t see the way satoru dug through his pocket to take out the velvet box. and he didn’t see the way his hands shook as he propped the box to be open, didn’t see how nervous satoru looked in the moment of unveiling the ring.

what he did see though was the ring blaringly presenting itself to him and a grinning, crying satoru behind it. he heard the words leave his lips, “let’s stay together forever, okay? please, marry me, [name],”

and [name] didn't react.

not immediately. he was too shocked. his jaw had dropped and he looked between the ring and satoru, who was still happily crying. then, finally, he snapped out of it and enclosed his arms around his boyfriend’s (fiance’s?) neck and sobbed into his skin, “yes, yes, yes,” over and over.

satoru cried more, this time a smile on his face as he cried into the air. he felt the stream of wet tears go down his neck, but he didn’t pay them any mind. he only held [name] closer by his waist in a suffocating embrace.

he didn’t know if he believed in multiple universes theory, whatever that was, but he just wishes that if it were true: he’d find [name] in every single one. [name] was his one and only comfort in the hectic life that he lives, the one stable root that keeps him grounded.

the two seperated, smiling and laughing with each other as they messily kissed in celebration. when they pulled away, [name] and satoru watched as the latter shakily slipped the ring onto the former’s ring finger. and the h/c haired man had to cover his mouth once more at the sight. it was slightly loose, running on the bigger side, but it was perfect. he didn’t care. it could have been a paper ring and it would have been perfect.

“i love you satoru, so much, you don’t understand,”

“i love you more,” the other softly breathes out, staring at [name]’s ringed finger with pride, “more than you’d ever know.”

the two smiled and laughed at their confessions, joining in another hug as they were high off of their dopamine. wordlessly, satoru collapsed onto the bed with [name] laying on top of him. and as he took the other velvet box out, he tried slipping the ring onto his finger. but it didn’t even fit on his ring finger, so he had to work with it on his pinky.

“it’s kind of cute that way,” [name] says in amusement, comparing their hand size and laughing at the difference, “i like it,”

“if you like it that way, we can keep it this size, then,” satoru said simply, kissing the top of [name]’s head.

“wear it however you want to, satoru, it’s your ring,” [name] chides him, looking up to softly glare at him.

“the ring doesn’t mean anything by itself, you're the one that gives it meaning,” satoru says, squeezing [name]’s shoulders to bring him closer, “if you like it on the pinky, it stays on the pinky.”

rolling his eyes and deciding that nothing is going to get through his fiance’s head, [name] gave up on challenging satoru. instead, he cuddled closer into his side and breathed in his faint cologne and natural scent.

“i love you, satoru. my dear fiance,” he said into the fabric of his dress shirt, smiling against satoru’s ribs as he repeated the phrase in his head.

satoru didn’t bother biting back his smile as he tilted [name]’s head up to look up at him. he kissed him softly, gently moving their lips against each other in a passionate kiss. and when he pulled away, he made sure to keep eye contact as he said, “i love you more, [name], my dear fiance,”

#this is the pt. 2 from the poll i did earlier btw #since basketball player gojo satoru won....LMFOA #satoru male reader #satoru x male reader #gojo male reader #gojo x male reader #basketball player satoru gojo #basketball player gojo #gojo satoru x male reader #gojo satoru male reader #jjk male reader #jjk x male reader #basketball player satoru

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can-i-see-your-passport-please · 5 months

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Okay so here's everything I know about TF2. Please no one elaborate on anything I know about, because I think it's so much funnier if I have no context to anything. I have absorbed all of this through Tumblr osmosis

Emesis Blue is an excellent film

Soldier apparently was never an actual soldier, he just loves America and really wanted to kill Nazis (the second one i respect greatly)

Medic would probably give you a lobotomy for fun (i don't think this guy's even a doctor)

Two really old guys are fighting bloody wars over gravel I think and their father is named Grey Mann which was most definitely meant to make Gman enjoyers lose it but to be fair his name could also be Gary Man.

What am I on

Heavy and Medic are apparently gay but idk if this is a fandom seeing two men next to each other and going "gay" thing or a "all but confirmed gay" thing but TVTropes referred to them as "Heterosexual Life Partners" which is very funny

emesis blue is so fucking good oh my godddddd the respawn machine is horrifying just from the concept it turned scout into soup

Scout is half French and loves his mother (who is not french) and does not love his father (spy i think)

Medic presumably died went to hell and told the devil "oh I'm like a cat I have nine souls actually. So I should get to go back to being alive" and it fucking worked??????

THE FUCKING SCENE IN?? IN EMESIS BLUE??? WHERE. WHERE SOLDIER TELLS MEDIC "YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT OUT" AND MEDIC SAYS "i KNOW" BEFORE HE JUST FUCKING DIES AND HE'S THE PROTAGONIST SO YOU'D EXPECT HIM TO LIVE RIGHT??? AND THEN HE JUST DIES AND DOESN'T APPEAR AGAIN FOR SO SO LONG

Pyro is an any pronouns warrior and it commits great atrocities while also having so much sillyness in his heart. I love her

I think Engineer blowed up his arm. I think

Spy is a cunt and also French. I do not think this I know this. I look at him and I sense his cuntery. It radiates off him. I can feel it.

SOMETHING ABOUT THE LETTER M BEING BRANDED ONTO MEDIC'S FACE BEING A REFERENCE TO THE MOVIE SCOUT WAS WATCHING WHERE THE LETTER M IS USED TO MARK A MURDERER. HE'S LITERALLY MARKED AS A MURDERER BY PYRO. SOMETHING ABOUT THE SCENE WITH DEMOMAN AND DELL'S BAR BEING A REFERENCE TO A SCENE IN THE SHINING WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER IS LITERALLY TALKING TO A GHOST. SOMETHING ABOUT SCOUT'S MOTHER'S HEAD BEING HELD AROUND A CORNER AND DROPPED PARALLELING PYRO'S HEAD BEING HELD AROUND A CORNER AND DROPPED. SOMETHING ABOUT SCOUT'S "IF THEY EVER HIT YOU WITH SOMETHING, YOU HIT BACK TWICE AS HARD" WITH MEDIC SHOOTING SPY TWICE IN THE HEAD AFTER BEING SHOT ONCE IN THE GAME OF RUSSIAN ROULETTE WHY IS EMESIS BLUE SO GOOD

TF2 is in an eternal war with Overwatch for some reason

I was doing a poll a few days ago and the tags psychic blasted me with the information of "by the way people pay like fifty dollars to see medic's tiddies in game." I have gotten varying answers between ninety dollars to three hundred fucking dollars but the constant remains that people will pay Valve comically high amounts of money to see Medic's boobs. What

Scout almost got Earth exploded because he died a virgin???? But then God was like "Okay go back down to earth I'm giving them one last chance to all have sex with you" I'm so confused what does any of this mean none of this makes any sense but it's hilarious

Scout might be legitimately named after Jerma and bears a frightening resemblance to him (though to be fair scout is every white boy in one)

You should watch Emesis Blue it's free on youtube

Demoman's eye is sentient even though he doesn't have it????

I can't decide who's my favorite the white boy the unethical scientist or the silly nonbiney war criminal

Conclusion: What the fuck is team fortress the second one about

#cassie rambles #please don't tell me what it's about it's so much funnier if i am confused forever #tf2 #emesis blue

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freak-accident419 · 4 months

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Helloo, I hope you’re doing alright!! I was wondering if you can make a fic about Josh Futturman that’s set after the show?? Like at around the early 2000s (since they end up in 1999 iirc) And when he meets the reader at his new job he gets a crush on them so he invites them over to hang out :-)

I think it would be cute fluff (like a little kissing) but if you can manage to make it smut that’s good too :P

His Silver Lining

Josh Futturman x GN!Reader

Summary: Josh had been adjusting fairly well to the year 2000 after tragically getting stuck in it. Though for quite a while, he had developed a crush on you ever since he first met you during his new job at Blockbuster. He finally gets the courage to ask you out—which was inviting you over at his place to watch a horror movie.

Word Count: 2.7k

Content: fluff, gender neutral reader, takes place in year 2000 (after season 3 events), Josh uses “Pastman” for a fake name, spoilers for season 3

(A/n: First of all, I’m doing just fine, thanks so much anon !! Second, I don’t know if this was exactly what you wanted based on the request, but I hope it’s okay !! I can’t tell if it’s half-assed, but it was the best I could do!)

Josh adjusted quite well to the year 2000. He found a place to live, got a simple job at a Blockbuster store in Pasadena, and almost accepted his life here in this timeline. Sure, he would usually make a few slip ups like the fact that NYSC would break up, Britney Spears’ conservatorship, and the existence of the Xbox, but nobody would think too much of it; to them, they were just wacky, pessimistic predictions—except for the Xbox, of course.

You were a regular customer at the Blockbuster store. You were quite the film buff, immersing yourself in old cinema and classics as you would rent a new movie every twice a week. And it was almost love at first sight for Josh when he saw you at the counter renting The Last Starfighter—it was destiny.

A bit sheepish from how attractive you were to him, he stammered over his words a bit clumsily, which you only smiled admiringly at.

The first thing he noticed about you were your eyes. They were bright and optimistic. With this, it revealed to him that you were quite charming and friendly. The second thing he noticed about you was your style—your fashion was unique, yet delightfully peculiar. It was sort of refreshing to see, which made you stand out compared to anyone else he’s met. And he should’ve seen this first if it weren’t for your eyes, but the third thing he noticed was your smile. It was so beautiful that he couldn’t believe that it was himself that brought you to grin like that.

“‘The Last Starfighter’? Really?” Josh asked after he came out of the trance you put him in, ringing you up.

“Yeah, I know, I… It’s a bit of a classic, hell, I was, like, nine years old when it came out, but… Y’know… I’m just… Expanding my horizons. I kinda just immerse myself in mostly eighties movies,” you chuckle. The cashier was endearingly dorky to you. He had soft brown hair and eyes, with a cute smile, undeniably caused by you. You’ve never seen him before however, and you came here frequently, so you assumed he was a new hire.

The movie you’re renting would only remind himself of his own life—how his video game became reality, bringing him into the most traumatizing and insane adventures. Hell, it took him a month to finally stop seeing his parents from afar ever since he got trapped in this timeline. So the subtle mention of it would have sparked melancholic nostalgia in him under different circumstances, but right now, he was far too distracted from how pretty you were.

“Yeah, it’s… it’s an alright movie, I’d say,” he replied with a faint chuckle, reinforcing your belief in the film as you took out your cash to purchase the rental.

“Hey, so, um, are you new here?” You asked briefly.

“Yeah. Yeah, I am. Did I—did I make it that obvious? Like was there something unprofessional I did—”

“No, god, no,” you giggled—it was the sweetest thing Josh had ever heard in a long, long time. “It’s just—I’m a regular here. Rent movies all the time. Usually Brandon or Steffie rings me up. When did you start?” You asked, watching him place your money in the register, then retrieving the amount of change you had.

“Oh, like, a week ago,” he answered, giving you your change.

“Well,” you peered at his name tag, “Josh. Welcome to Blockbuster. Get used to seeing this face every twice a week.”

He chuckled softly to himself, almost in fluster as well, because he knew he would look forward to be seeing you frequently. “I’ll look forward to it, um…” He trailed off with anticipation as he handed you the VHS tape and receipt.

“Y/n,” you grinned, taking it in your hands and making your way to the exit.

And so, the last thing he noticed about you was the silver ring on your right index finger.

***

It was like this for a couple of weeks. You would come in, get a movie, exchange smiles and giddy laughter, then leave. He would observe the movies you would rent, though he would also occasionally make some more accidental slip ups about the future:

“‘Dead Poets Society’?” He raised an eyebrow as he looked at the VHS cover. You nodded pridefully. The image of Robin Williams caught his attention. “A shame he died. He was awesome.”

“Neil Perry? Yeah, I suppose,” you reply.

“Wh—Oh,” Josh stammered in realization.

***

“‘Dawn of the Dead’? Hell yeah! That man, Zack Snyder, is a genius.” He declared with a wide grin.

“Who?”

He looked back at the cover. This was the 1978 movie. The Zack Snyder version wouldn’t come out until four years from now. “Oh.”

***

You brought up a ‘Back to the Future’ VHS at the counter, causing Josh to raise an eyebrow.

“Huh.” How ironic.

***

You came into the Blockbuster store once again. Over time, your crush on Josh only increased. There was something about his dorky, sweet, awkwardness that charmed you, that even on days you didn’t feel like watching a movie, you went anyways and rented one as an excuse to see him again.

Today, Josh had a confident mindset—this was the day he was going to ask you out. He felt very prepared to speak to you once you would walk up to the counter with a movie.

“Hey, Josh,” you smile softly as you see him at the counter.

“Oh, hey, Y/n. Got any specific movie you’re looking for, or are you just gonna browse today?”

“Well, now that you mention it,” you began, “Do you have any movie suggestions for me?” You walk to the front counter where he was, crossing your arms on the surface with an expecting smile on your face.

“Hm. Depends,” he answered. “What, um… genre are you looking for?”

“Not sure,” you shrugged. “Just anything. Any movie you’d like.”

“A movie I like?”

“Yeah,” you smile.

“Why me?”

“Eh. I guess I trust your taste.”

With an attractive chuckle under his breath, he led you to a specific aisle of the store. Then, he finally grabbed a movie for you.

“Sleepaway Camp?” You raise an eyebrow as you gently took the VHS from his hands.

“Yeah. Yeah, um, it’s a really great horror movie,” he claimed. While Josh would usually be scared shitless of this kind of slasher, he was so desensitized to nearly everything due to all of his time travel adventures. He witnessed his companions chop up his co-workers and saw his work crush’s head explode right in front of him. And plus, he already watched this movie, so he knew where all the scary parts were.

“Horror movie? I don’t know if I’m much of a horror person,” you bit the inside of your cheek and smile kindly.

“Wait. You’re scared of horror movies?”

“I didn’t say I was scared—”

“I think it’s heavily implied.”

“No, I… I quite enjoyed the—The Silence of the Lambs and—”

“No, no, no, Y/n, that’s different. Like, you gotta watch Sleepaway Camp. It’s crazy. Like, insane,” he emphasized.

“I don’t know, man,” you laugh softly.

It’s now or never, Josh thought. “Okay, okay, how about this: we watch it together. At my place. I have a TV and microwavable popcorn. I can even let you know where the jump scares are and everything,” he initiated endearingly.

You offer a coy smile as you fidget with the ring on your finger. “Josh Pastman, are you seriously asking me out?” Because his six-year-old self exists in the same timeline as him now, he would’ve had to have a cover name—which was actually the same one he used back at the meth lab.

You could swear you saw his face flush red a second after you said this, making you giggle to yourself.

“I—Well. Sorta. Well. Only if—if you—if you would want to—”

“I’d love to, Josh,” you interrupted charmingly, looking at the back cover of the VHS’ clamshell to skim through the movie’s details.

“W-wait, really?” He blurted in surprise. While he did intend to ask you out, he never really expected you to actually accept it—his self confidence was fairly low and the poor man has never gotten a break.

“I mean, yeah, sure, why not? Bold of you to suggest a horror movie for our first movie together, though,” a smug smile appeared on your lips. You suspected he would choose it because you would inevitably cuddle with him in fear. It really wasn’t his intention, though. It was genius, nonetheless. “Hm. Respect.”

Josh stammered over his words, slightly abashed. “I—Wait—No, that’s—”

“I’m just messing with you.”

He sighed in relief. He was adorable. “Okay, so, the movie’s fine? We can—we can change it—”

“It’s all good, Pastman,” you laugh. “Don’t sweat it. I’m gonna be busy for the upcoming days, so is tonight gonna be alright with you?”

“Yeah. Yeah! That’s—that’s perfect!”

You scoffed playfully at his mannerisms. “I’ll see you then, Josh.”

“I’ll—Yeah! Yeah, I’ll see you then!”

***

“Oh my god, I hate you, I fucking hate you,” you breathed in his neck as you held onto him tightly. A quite gruesome, unsettling scene had just appeared on the TV screen, not like it was the first one that occurred, but you were at a point where you couldn’t take it anymore.

Josh was blushing furiously as he felt your warmth on his body, your hands clutching at his shirt, and face buried in his neck. It felt nice for him to protect you, holding you in his arms, feeling his blood rush to his face.

It was an unintentional plan. It practically wasn’t even a plan to begin with. But it was genius nonetheless.

“Hey, it’s not that bad, it’s just shitty special effects of the eighties,” he chuckled, looking down at you.

“Dude. I get nightmares of even the most mildest crap,” you argue.

“Yeah, well, at least we’re not watching The Human Centipede. Now, that shit is fucking crazy.”

You grimace as you hear the title name. “I don’t think I even wanna know what that is.” And you wouldn’t. Not until another 9 years, give or take.

You peek fearfully at the TV screen with uncertainty. “If I see shit like this in my dream tonight, I am going to fucking destroy you,” you claim.

“Oh, really?” Josh raised an eyebrow.

“Well, yeah. I know where you live.” The two of you laugh softly. It was a beautifully, harmonious sound, your laughter. The way your voice overlapped with his, it was a sweet symphony. He had the greatest laugh. You finally moved your face from his neck and looked at him. Then he looked at you. Another calm, shared laugh until he finally grabbed the remote to pause the movie.

As you remained to grip onto his shirt, he glanced at your silver ring. “Hey, what’s—what’s that?”

“What’s what?”

“That!”

“Wh—what?”

“The—the ring.”

“O-oh, my ring?” You chuckled softly as you look at the shiny band hugging your finger.

“Yeah. What’s the—what’s the deal with it?” You raise an eyebrow as you looked at him with playful uncertainty.

“Well, I always believed on ‘the bright side,’ you know? The saying that ‘every cloud has a silver lining’. Like, when shit hits the fan, there’s at least one advantage coming from it.” Josh looked in your eyes as you explained, yourself too preoccupied with the carvings on your ring. “And a silver ring is quite literally sort of like a silver lining. I know—I know it’s corny, but a friend gave it to me, and I guess it means a lot.”

He hums in response, not taking his eyes off you. You were gorgeous. “Take this moment, for example,” you start, finally looking back at him, which elicited another blush on his cheeks. “I am being scared shitless by this fucking eighties horror movie, but… at least I’m watching it with my favorite Blockbuster employee.”

His eyes widened, quite comically as well. “I—I’m your favorite?”

You nod with a polite smile.

“Me?”

“Yes.”

“Not even—not even Steffie or Brandon?”

“N—”

“Not even Matty? He’s, like, everyone’s favorite, he’s so kind, and—”

“Josh! Holy shit!” You exclaimed, giggling at his disbelief. “They’re all nice, yes, but you are definitely my favorite.”

He slightly parted his lips in awe, then grinned sweetly. “Well, I hope you’re happy to know that you’re my favorite customer.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Well, yeah. Even the guy who knows so much about video games, that guy cannot take your place.”

“Oh jeez, so technically I did have competition, huh?”

“Eh, not really. I like you too much.”

Josh actually couldn’t believe he just said that to you. He wanted to play it cool, but his eyes widened once he processed what be just told you.

You blushed softly instead, smiling to yourself as you bit the inside of your cheek. “O-okay, so, why’d you ask me about my ring?”

“Well, initially, I was curious. But also, I thought that if you had to explain and think about something else, you would forget at least some of the scenes in this movie that freaked you out,” he explained.

“Wait, really?”

“I feel a little bad. I don’t want you to get nightmares because of me.”

“Seriously? That’s so sweet of you, Josh.”

“Well, yeah. I mean, it’s not a big deal, anyone wou—”

“I mean, I know that, but,” you intervened, “It’s not just that, you… You’ve always been so amazing to me, you know? You’re kind, and charming, and patient, and… you are really funny.” Josh smiled at you bashfully as you chuckle. You were so charmed by him. He stood out to you, and you didn’t really know why. He was kind and considerate, like everyone else, except it wouldn’t feel the same—in the best way possible. Josh paid close attention to you. He genuinely admired you. “You’re a really great guy, Josh. I would… definitely be lying to myself if I said I wasn’t crushing on you for a while now.”

His eyes widened, and you just smiled faintly. “W-wait, really? You—You like me in that way?”

“Um, well, yeah. I thought—Was it not obvious?”

“I—I don’t know, I—”

You both laughed together, feeling nothing but giddiness and contentment.

“But yeah, um, I really like you too,” Josh claimed after the laughter died down. “I just… I looked forward to seeing you every week because you’re just… You’re so amazing! And it just… blows my mind that you like me back, because why would someone as perfect as you, like such a loser like me?”

“Hey, you’re no loser, Josh,” you chuckle. “There’s a reason why I like you, alright?” He let out a scoff, but then nodded with a cute smile on his lips. “Hey. You said I was perfect.”

“Yeah.”

“You really mean it?”

“Of course, I do!”

You looked into his eyes quite intimately. They were brown and doting. He was beautiful.

Your hands were already on him, as you had held onto him tight in reaction to the gory movie scenes. So it wasn’t difficult to trail your hand up to the side of his neck. It seemed like he read your mind, because he remained quiet, shy, yet prepared. His eyes would switch from looking into yours and your lips.

You whisper lightly, “Can I—”

“God, please do—”

You two kissed each other slowly, yet passionately, your hands moving more comfortably to his face as you adjusted your legs slightly. His lips were soft and gentle, moving deeply with yours in the comforting silence of the room. You both were generous with your actions, as well as intimate.

Josh had realized; you were his own silver lining. It absolutely sucked to be trapped in a reality that wasn’t his, a timeline that he was forced to adjust to. That was the shittiest thing about it. But at least you were something great that came out of it all. With all of the calamity and mishap he’s experienced, you seemed to be his only comfort, an anchor to keep him stable in this reality.

You continued to kiss each other, which sort of transitioned into making out, as he held onto your hand, moving his finger gently over your ring. You gave him hope. That life here was going to be okay.

He was going to be okay.

#future man x reader #future man 2017 #josh futturman #josh futturman x reader #josh futturman x gn!reader #gender neutral reader #josh hutcherson #josh hutcherson x reader #josh hutcherson fanfic #clapton davis #mike schmidt #peeta mellark #gn reader #mike schmidt x reader

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judysxnd · 10 months

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hello could u do one where you dress you and Pedro's baby up as baby yoda

Baby yoda?????? Grogu!!! Despite this little mistake I will write your request 😂

I apologize first for being away for a few weeks, but it’s been really difficult for me. I’m moving back to my parents and I don’t really like the whole situation. So it’s really tough on me, I am not really feeling good mentally. So, I don’t really do anything, I don’t play, I don’t write, I don’t read.. I’m trying, but it’s not easy.

This is relatively short, but I think it turned out to be good. I’m coming back gradually. Also, I only dressed up the baby here and not the reader like you wanted, because I thought the reader would have had to dress more like the mandolarian and not as Grogu, so that’s why. Also, first, I thought you were talking about matching pyjamas or something, so yeah here both of them would have be okay, but I wasn’t really sure so I did that. I hope you still like it!

————————————————————————————

Last week you went shopping for new baby clothes. Your little one is growing extremely fast and it’s not easy to follow. He is almost one year old, but already fits in 14months. So, it was only natural to go buy some new stuff.

You went after work, as baby boy was with the babysitter, Pedro was on set filming, so you knew you had plenty of times. You bought shirts, pants, some socks, a new pair of shoes, and some bodysuits. You were in the last shop of the mall when your eyes met Halloween costumes. You had to check it out, you’ve always wanted to dress your baby up so it was the perfect opportunity. After looking around, you saw a little costume of Grogu. You couldn’t help but laugh. Pedro will love it. Not thinking twice, you took it.

Once you were home, the babysitter left, you could finally enjoy being with your child. Smiling and laughing to your weird and silly faces, your heart was melting. It was almost 6pm when Pedro texted you that he was leaving set, which meant that in around thirty minutes he would be here.

You decided to open the costume of Grogu and change your baby. It would be such a cute surprise for Pedro. Luckily, the costume wasn’t very complicated to put on. A big brown jacket and a headband with Grogu’s ears on the side. You had a big grey basin, so you put him inside, struggling to make him stay in, but to do just like in the tv show.

Right when the door opened, you quickly put the basin on the floor not far from it, and hid behind the counter. Pedro didn’t have time to see you, and his eyes fell immediately on his beautiful baby boy.

“oh my god what happened to you?” He started to laugh. You were secretly filming the whole scene. He kneeled in front of him. Both of them were smiling. “I can see that mommy got you a nice outfit” he started to tickle him a little to make him laugh. “My little grogu, tu eres lindo” he carried him out of the basin, hugging him tight once he was in his arms. “Now, where did mommy go?” And your now little grogu pointed to the counter where we could see you a little. You laughed and got up.

“Isn’t he cute?” You had big smile, as you approached them.

“Where did you find this?”

“At the mall, I went shopping for new clothes for this big boy” you said tickling him which made him laugh. “And I found this, I couldn’t resist”

“I can see why” you both looked at each other

“Our beautiful baby boy” you were both staring at him. Instinctively you got closer to Pedro, putting your right arm around his waist, hugging him from the side, as you held your baby boy’s hand. Pedro kissed the top of your head, which made you look at him. You both smiled before kissing passionately. The sight of you kissing made your baby Grogu laugh, which made you both laugh also.

“I need to send a picture to Bella” you laughed. You let him go to grab his phone. He took some pictures of the three of you, then just some of the baby alone, and sent them to Bella.

#pedro pascal #fanfic #imagine #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #oneshot #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal preferences #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal one shot #pedro pascal x female reader #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fic

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lyralit · 4 months

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4.1.24 - the importance of learning new things

As much as I think academic & work focus is incredibly important going into the new year, one of my other goals is to practice doing more: to learn all of the things I want to do, in addition to work, in addition to writing. I want to know how to do thousands of little things, and I think the longer we wait, the less likely we are to do them.

Picking up a new hobby doesn't have to be buying a dozen textbooks and spending hundreds of dollars on lessons because you might have the slightest interest: it can be from whatever you have here, now, and you'll never learn if you don't get started.

Some of the things I've been getting into (as I've mentioned before) are baking & crocheting. it just feels so cozy and nice & I love the idea of comfort.

here is a list of things I want to / you should try that's new!

learning a new language. fifteen minutes a day, I kid you not. I'm learning latin on duolingo and I don't ever think about it, but when I do it (25 day streak 💪🏻), I'm starting to notice my improvements

consuming good media. and that's not scrolling for half an hour on tumblr. it's books—deep ones and silly ones and ones about romance and dragons and apocalypses. it's movies! I watched keira knightley's pride and prejudice twice in the last few months, and also three men and a baby which is something I never thought I would watch, but it was quite funny I think. and I learn from it: I cannot write humour or romance for the life of me, so it's basically studying to write (is the self-gaslighting too evident?)

learning to crochet. I made a silly little headband today, after scrolling through pinterest and desperately wanting one. I started crocheting in december to give as gifts (I completed none of my wips, much like when I write) and used the tools I had around me: an old rainbow loom hook and whatever string I could find. now I'm proud to say I can read somewhat fluently crochet acronyms.

baking. I keep saying this. I know. but when I tell you a two years ago I was exploding cupcakes in the oven and last month I made bakery-style cookies...I made bread! a loaf of bread! (in a bread machine, but it's so good and I instantly made another. there is one in the bread machine right now). honestly it just made me feel that much better about improvement, and trying new things, and that is the mindset I want for the new year.

learning to code. in all honesty, I never thought I was a compsci - engineer kind of person. then this year, out of sudden (masterminded) urges, I joined a bunch of tech and robotics initiatives, and maybe it's the sense of community (I can rejoice in finding another nerdy group) but now I am happily chauffeuring myself to these meetings 4h a week. I'm looking into pursuing more into the fields of eng and science. and I'm learning some code from one of the friends I've made!

starting a blog. ...I know most of the people who linger around my blog stay for the writing content (the last posts have turned this writerblr into a digital diary, and I'm only half sorry for that). but since I've joined tumblr (almost three years ago now!) I've got to meet so many wonderful people (including you!) and want to try so many things.

and I get it. it's overwhelming. so here are some starting goals that maybe I'll try also.

start doing art. -> make a card for someone as a gift.

learn a new sport & start exercising. (I'm trying out track & field in the spring, so stay tuned to figure out how that goes) -> see if someone will come play ball with you. do 1 or 2 youtube workout videos a week.

film videos of your daily life. it doesn't need to be for posting! -> edit together clips you've taken for a last year recape.

start a scrapbook. -> print out photos and dig up construction paper. decorate a page.

make a poetry journal. -> go on pinterest to read poetry! pin styles you like and set fifteen minutes to writing.

make a regular journal! -> write once a day. just try: goals for the day in the morning, or a recap at night.

try your hand at gardening. -> research plants that grow well in your region. see if any of the seeds you may have at home are useful. water your lawn. buy a plant and try to keep it alive (set reminders, leave it in front of your sink)

learn to make candles. -> watch a youtube tutorial. see if you can play around with candles you already have.

play chess. -> see if someone will play chess with you. no? chess.com is right there. go make an account. go find a stranger.

learn to play an instrument off youtube. -> maybe you have a piano sitting around, or a guitar you've never touched. you don't even need to master it. pick a song you like and google that. no instrument? maybe there's a way to play drums with home items.

go for a run. -> once a week. a set time. just shoes and the outdoors. too cold? go to a gym and use a treadmill. maybe that's not possible? skip rope.

start / join a book club. -> just you, or some close friends, or people online. a book a month. talk about it.

** on that note, would anyone like to join a tumblr book club? slide into my asks and maybe we can get a blog list!

thank you for reading again <3 until next time.

#lyralit #writerblr #blog post #creative writing #writblr #writing prompts #writing ideas #writers block #writing #writers #mental health #taking breaks

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sgiandubh · 4 months

Note

👇🏻👇🏻.

https://www.tumblr.com/fadeupin5432/738617232406560768/im-truly-hoping-this-is-not-the-basis-of-the

Dear Pointing Anon,

I grew up torn between a Bohemian home, filled with laughter, cigarette smoke (it was, after all, Eastern Europe during the Eighties and Nineties) & late night debates, and the very loving, warm and bookish house of my maternal grandparents - the two worlds eventually merged when my father called it quits in a very uncivilized fashion, but such is life. Their more conservative friends (uni professors and the sort) were no match for my parents (then, my mother only)' crowd (the local press, theatre and film industry). Some of them quietly walked off our lives when my parents divorced (that old habit of picking sides, I suppose), many went West, some died, but some are still around, alive and kicking. It's always a pleasure to have one or two for lunch, very regularly.

If you think @fadeupin5432's post is a shock or even remotely news to me, well: think twice. From an almost Alternate Universe point of view, I can confirm not only every single word in that quoted memoir, but also every single word in her post. That being said, I know what I know and I stand by it.

Yes, sex is casual on set and off stage. Among journalists and writers, too - this is exactly how my parents' marriage imploded, by the way. Affairs are always an open secret, much talked about in inner circles, some totally unknown to 'regular' fans - in my neck of the woods, they didn't dream asking and we had no Tumblr, no Facebook and no Twitter/X, back then. Many are acknowledged with a sigh by ageing stars, in some talk show and the public then goes "a-ha! told you!".

That story, however, was (still is...) shockingly different even to someone like me. The depth of it and the colossal effort put into the shitshow made it fascinating. And here I am. Oh, and don't wait for the proverbial fat lady to pop in any time soon: I think she's booked somewhere else.

#anon #fandom #shitshow

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eisforeidolon · 7 months

Text

Question: So I just rewatched the whole series again with my husband, who's over there. And it's so beloved for us - just like everybody here. And so I was wondering, do you guys have any shows or movies you rewatch or books you reread that are really cherished, and that - why do they mean something to you?

Jared: Awesome. Thank you. And where's your husband?

Question: He's over there.

Jared: [to husband] Hey, hey, thank you, buddy. Yeah, so twice? Y'all have seen it twice? Amazing.

Question: More than that, more than that.

Jared: I wasn't judging!

Jensen: I am.

Jared: Uh, yeah, I have some, like, feel good shows. I try not to reread books, believe it or not? I just feel like there are so many that I would love to read but I try to reread. I have reread Into Thin Air, John Krakauer. Awesome book. Yeah. And then when I find myself rewatching shows, it's from my childhood. I haven't forgotten Garfield, or Simpsons. Don't judge.

Audience member: Turtles!

Jared: Ninja turtles, for sure. That was a a special time -

Jensen: Which one?

Jared: Which turtle am I?

Jensen: Mmm-hmm.

Jared: Who's my favorite? Probably Michelangelo, but my favorite was Donatello. Yeah, and I always regret - I think it was because I could always find a stick and hit people with it? It's hard to find num-chuks, or a scythe, or swords - my parents wouldn't let me have those. I'd find a stick, though. I'd find a stick and pretend I was Donatello. And he was in the purple outfit, which was pretty good - [to someone in audience] No, I - Leonardo was pretty cool.

Jensen: Donatello was blue.

Jared: No, Leonardo was blue! How dare you.

Jensen: Raphael was red.

Jared: Raphael was red, Michelangelo was orange -

Jensen: Why are we talking about this? [to questioner] Thanks a lot, thanks a lot. And I see you, yeah, your wife's still pregnant, you might want to take care of that. She's been pregnant for ten years.

Jared: So when I do rewatch things, it's from my childhood. What about you?

Jensen: I have - this was unintentional, the show is just always on. But my daughter, my ten year old daughter, has found Friends. And I had forgotten how entertaining that show really, really is. So it's been fun to, y'know - and it's just 'cause it's literally, I don't know what station, TBS or whatever - it's just always open. Any time we're in the kitchen, she'll come in and she'll throw it on and sit down and we'll be just doing stuff, but it's on and I'll just hear PIVOT! and I'll just start laughing.

Audience member: We were on a break!

Jensen: Yeah, we were on a break. And that's another thing, I forget how many iconic sayings came from that show. I mean, what a powerhouse of a show that is. But, um, as far as like a genre-type show, I don't know. I'm kinda like Jared, like once I watch it, I've - going back and rewatching it, I feel like I'm missing out on the opportunity of seeing something new? There is - I do have films that I keep on my iPad and whenever I'm travelling or something they're downloaded. And there's one particular movie that - I don't watch it, from beginning to end? I usually will just fast-forward and watch scenes? Of No Country for Old Men. 'Cause I just think it's a master class in filmmaking.

Jared: I'm like that with Inglorious Bastards.

Jensen: Yeah. Oh, anything Tarantino. Like, I got Hateful Eight, I've been rewatching -

Jared: Oh really?

Jensen: rewatching scenes in Hateful Eight. Which, I mean, that could be a stage play. I think it was originally - he wrote it for almost being able to do that, but. Um, it's uh - yeah. So I get the wanting to go back and kinda revisit those things, 'cause it does give you those nostalgic emotions, but also, you know, new experiences, like I'm sharing this with my daughter, so that's kind of a fun new experience.

Jared: Yeah. It's also - So I guess I question my earlier statement about how I want to read new things? 'Cause it's very interesting if you watch the same show or movie or read the same book at different points in your life where you pick up. So maybe I'll just start binging [pause] Supernatural. See where it ends up. I do, I will say, I will say, not a word of a lie, I've probably watched fifteen or twenty reaction videos to the finale. Cry every time. I'm like - I start out like, they don't know what's about to happen, neener neener. And then once Dean meets the post and they go [huge gasp] I'm like, same, same! So I have watched, I think, every single one. But yeah, yeah, that'll be interesting to go back and revisit that show that we worked on that one time.

Jensen: You just talked about a scene from it! [dramatically hangs head, big sigh] We're gonna get cancelled by our own union. Shh.

Jared: I said that show. Super-normal show.

Jensen: No, it's not Supernormal, it's Anything But Normal. It's Unnatural. It's Abby Normal.

#dccon 2023 #j2 main panel #long post

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accio-victuuri · 1 year

Text

sugar rush 2022: part two

Hello everyone! it’s that time of the year where I round-up the candies brought to us from July-December 2022. I have purposely added ones that captured the eyes of fans. I have also included some good old cpn archaeology I posted during these months in the mix. It’s been a good year, filled with ups and downs for the boys and this fandom but our original intention remains the same. to support them the best way we can and keep em safe. I hope this post gives you some year-end happiness and have a good disposition to face the new year ahead. This is the round up of the first half of the year in case you missed it. bjyxszd. 🤍

JULY 2022

• Similar Chongya pose from the SDC 5 poster. I know Youku have their own graphic designers, but this is just a nice coincidence.

• GG’s GUCCI Link to Love Jewelry

• Video of GG from WDB shoot and he is playing “skipping rocks”. Something that he and Bobo likes to do. They are such kids!!!!

• Bobo is wearing the 🦴 necklace in SDC 5 photoshoot ; Also in the close up images you can see Bobo’s moles and people were quick to compare it to GG. They both have lots of moles— almost like constellations.

• He is also in a Stussy shirt — a brand that they both wear.

• In a grocery store in China, you have our boys! 😂

• Their teams sharing one braincell again 🧠

• CPN post on XZ’s badminton photos 📷

• A Rainbow watch appears on XZ

• Posting at the same time

• I am just adding it here but I don’t think it’s a true CPN. Youku’s official account on Twitter posted about XZ. The thing is, he has no projects with Youku apart from Marvelous City. In the meantime we know who their VIP Ambassador is — Yibo. It’s a nice coincidence but I think the account posted since XZ is famous with international fans and frequently trends on twitter, so it’s a way for the account to get some exposure to overseas fans. This would have been more sus to me if the Youku account over at weibo posted about him. Lol.

• crown symbol appears

• Analysis of XZ’s 7/12/2022 post : yibo checking, green moon, attorney woo kdrama and whales 🐳 ; Also a parallel from the episode & WangXian.

• KXZ posts about the Moon and missing someone. I don’t think they are necessarily cueing CPF because of that. What I got from it is the whole Moon being a symbol of missing someone when you take a picture of it is not CPF imagination. What is also weird is I don’t see solos posting so much about that narrative when the photos were released— it was mostly CPF. Sooooo...

• CPN thoughts on XZ’s 7/15/2022 Oasis post : the number 25 and other coincidences + same carpet as SDC (?) & why he used that emoji.

• 7/17/2022 LRLG Rumor analysis / translation

• There are theories that XZ was at Web’s hotel 7/16, this whole thing is so reminiscent of what happened during BAH/SDC 2020. Where Web can’t wait to get off work. The reason is, Bobo was found to be at the hotel twice within the day. He came back twice. Why can’t he just be on set? People were saying there are so many scenes being filmed but he stayed there for like an hour then went back on set which is 2 hours travel time ( back and forth ). What’s so special at his hotel? 🐰

Then some yellow clowns brought up an interview where Web said he has little time to practice dance — so he does it in the shower. Hmmmmm. 😏

"Dancing certainly is a part of me because it's something I started to learn as a child."

Dancing is his greatest instinct. Despite his packed schedule, he adheres to the principle that he has to be diligent. "Actually, I almost have no time to devote to dancing practice. Usually, I practice to music when I take breaks from work. But that can happen anytime, anywhere. Sometimes I dance during showers, hahahaha,"

Wang Yibo was unable to restrain a laughter.

• On 7/18, this went on HS: Wang Yibo, Song Yier and the Fox Demon King Power Chapter. A rumor that Yibo is gonna star in a Drama. Song Yi is the one who played Baili’s wife in Luoyang. This is not CPN but proof of how quick Yibo’s team is when it comes to refuting rumors. This was quickly denied by big fan accounts and then the producer himself had to speak up and say it’s not true. The point is, if he wants his name out of the HS and a rumor, he will do it. Whether that’s a future project or a potential relationship with someone. Sooooo 🤷🏻‍♀️

• Galaxy brain clowning with WYB’s Lenovo Ad

• Onset of YGY, A bottle of Master Kong Iced tea was spotted. Lol. Yes it is a favorite drink among people in China but what are the odds. A brand endorsed by Yibo. Also this is not the first time that a brand Yibo endorses showed up in GG’s workplace 😏

• Throwback galaxy CPNs ( CQL lego clue, Budapest, Same drawings and Satisfied single )

• BoXiao and Spongebob

• CPN + Brightest Star in the Night Sky

• Yibo turning off/on the related users on his account + the bitter truth to why it happened

• Collection of candies: Random connections, Braun Little Prince Drawing, 🤟🏼 and Spiderman.

• Xiao Zhan clearing his related user

• Revisiting their Day Day Up 2019 playlist

• Gachapon / Claw machine

• Running to you with All I have - song CPN

• Iced Americano in YBO comic

• 6KKI brand

• Part III of the related user CPN

• The Ultraman Pose and X for Xnine! It’s a cute coincidence cause the one done by Web is not just that move. It’s a dance routine ✌🏼

AUGUST 2022

• The 8/4 coincidence. Back in 2021, YGY wrapped up. This year, One and Only filming ended.

• During 8.5, everyone was waiting for YBO to post but they didn’t. Yibo went online to delete the automatic birthday banner on his account where everyone can post. What we noticed is GG has a hidden weibo post that appeared around the same time Web was online. We CPN that GG posted something in private just for them. We don’t know at this point what their schedule is but there is some chance of them meeting. It was a quiet birthday on Yibo’s part because of Political tensions.

• BoXiao and Bamboo 🎋

• One and Only behind the scenes has this line : Hope you meet soon. The one who made you a kid again. ; It reminded BXGs of how he and XZ were so child like during filming of CQL. Love makes you act like a child. 🥺

• 8/8, a supposed Yuehua Contract of Yibo was going around where it states he is signed with them till 10/2026. Of course our 2026 sensitive turtle brains are all over it because it’s such a coincidence.

• 8/9, Bobo was photographed leaving Hangzhou and the bone necklace makes an appearance again. SDC photos were also released and we noticed some things like another flower theme 🌺

• 8/10, Bobo’s Big Show Captain Dance teaser was released and so we see another patch. Same place. If you don’t know the CPN to this, it’s the tattoo rumor. This is not the best photo, but do you see the skin toned plaster?

• Xiao Zhan as the announcement bird for Being A Hero’s broadcast.

• 8/11, Bobo was photographed wearing the bone necklace and this time, it’s out of his shirt. Unlike the other day. This is interesting because the night before there was a hot search about XZ being single. This seems like a message to those who pay attention. He still has the 🦴. The relationship is stable!

• 8/13/2022 candy round up - gg’s ysl photos and some sdc 5 episode 1 things

• Yibo’s Moon Brooch @ Weibo Movie Night ; Also, he left as soon as his part was over. He was photographed leaving wearing casual clothes on and the bone necklace. They are in Beijing, so people are saying he wants to go home early 🏡

• YBO & XZS “be like” similarity 💕

• Monday sweetness : folding clothes, same vegetable dish, signing close to X2 that looks like XZ, mosquito patch etc.

• 8/19 yibo airport cpn, last resort shoes, new rufeng bts video shared

• 8/24, the both went on HS because the 2019 KTV recording of when they sang CONTENTMENT was re uploaded on Kugou Music.

more on the backstory of this recording as well as cpn song analysis over here.

* small CPNs - BAH interview clues, tod’s timeless and bts of XZ looking for yibo

* Zwilling live sweets

* SDC 5 episode 3 things : Hachiko and Yibo holding the bone necklace

* Chanel Boy Necklace

* Evidence of Yibo wearing Daisy Star necklace during BAH shooting

* Zhan Zhan’s has a skateboard?

SEPTEMBER 2022

• number coincidences in BAH

• DDU features a grafitti wall in Chongqing with BJYX writings

• 9/2 - 9/4 candies - asian games statement regarding one & only, hotpot episode clues, roborock endorsements and BAH double standards.

• The 95% reading

• YBO shares a video of Bobo playing frisbee and the BGM is the same as XZS’ where GG was also playing frisbee

• A new 🦴 necklace development. It is engraved with the character that means KING.

• Mid-Autumn Festival Candies

• 9/11 LRLG Rumor

• Random CPN recurrence : Yibo as Luffy + Yibo drinking from a big watter bottle

• Minor sweets : BTF behind the scenes red bracelet, Evisu jacket, Cool Kids douyin, BJYX ST increasing in number and BANANAIN 33

• Same / Similar logo 8 and XZ

• IT TAKES TWO ( game ) CPN

• CPN on Yibo-Official’s message on 8 year anniv

• Xiao Zhan XX bag

• Heart with a Mole @ xinxiangyin’s ad

• CPN on Yibo’s fears as per SDC Micro Movie

• More brand coincidence

• smol cpn post : web’s aircraft drawing, camping cpn, brand association and same douyin actions

• tasogare short film cpns : skateboard | glasses, mole and hangzhou westlake

• Chen Shuo x Sheng Yang CP ( same shoes ) + Rio

OCTOBER 2022

• Web’s sus reaction in SDC 5 episode 8, when it was mentioned that the performance will be a sichuan-chongqing love story. Also, the camera only showed his reaction. Shouldn’t it be nathan cause he is always saying that his wife is from Sichuan?

He was also nodding along when Nathan was talking about having a s/o from that region. Lol. Why?

• BXGs have noticed their preference for tank tops recently. There was a fake rumor before that was about them buying black and white tops so this might be a product of that. Not complaining tho.

• Aquamarine gucci head necklace

• GG’s birthday, Yibo had a hidden weibo post 🥺 1121 to 1122.

• both of them promoting the hangzhou asian games! they really are the go-to ambassadors when you wanna reach the international audience 🤍

• same shoes again ( starwalk ) ; sailormoon and same pose.

• yibo chooses scissors in the game

• gg’s dior top as inspo for web’s SDC look

• yibo saying cycling is a good exercise

• times when LRLG was telling the truth

• similar art style @ let’s chat episode 10 + yibo avoiding the question about a necklace

• OOL deletes fanvids and GG’s possible involvement

• A tale of two selfies : GG’s 11/21/2019 selfie + Yibo’s 11/2/2019 selfie

• This MINDFUCK photo of Yibo. Yes, it’s Yibo. They really look alike depending on what they wear and the angle.

• Compilation : SDC Finale Candies ; and just to add onto this, Bobo was wearing all Stars. and then the next day, 10/30, XZ’s nars campaign is star themed.

• more cpn on the star themed clothes x nars livestream

• 10/31 livestream madness - same day product launch

NOVEMBER 2022

• Both XZ & WYB ; XZS and YBO leveled up their VIP status on Weibo, using the 11.11 deals for weibo membership. XZ did it first and even went on HS midnight onwards. The next day, WYB followed suit and it was public too ; allowing the blog post to be visible. Same with the studios they both published 2 mins apart from each other. Lol. Usually, people will delete this notification or not have it made public.

They both made it into HS too because of it. 😂

Wang Yibo goes online to recharge Weibo member 456610

Xiao Zhan went online late at night to recharge Weibo membership 442681

Other accounts did follow as well as celebrities, but the boys and their studios were definitely the first ones.

and then another one, a few days later on 11/5 both studios posted photo sets 10 mins apart. I can understand why XZS will post on the time it did cause it’s 30 mins from the livestream. YBO could easily post at 20:00 since it’s the timeslot of SDC which is not on air that day — they can treat it as a post SDC gift. but no. HAHAHAHAHA! As if we needed any more reason to think their teams are coordinated.

• Matt the Catt 🤍 ( this has been washed, it’s not the same cat but it’s cool that ZZ and WYB but usually work with LIN studios for their ads. resource sharing! )

• VWL shoes

• Yibo-official using a photo that has turtle LED signs + fake rumor associated with the blue beanie

• CPN compilation: same endorsement production teams, same brand amiri worn during their livestreams, tasogare hint, love is number 8 in xzs post.

• Acupressure point

• Same Thailand FM costume worn in Our Song 😂

• Similar forest scene in Ads

• Fake story about holding hands : i’m out of power

• GG’s secret message to keep warm

• 11/13 douyin posts CPN + 1

• Explanation of GG’s weibo stock photo post

• XZS 11/22 vlog candies

• sun/sunflower cpn part ii

• 11/23 yibo-official rehearsal vlog sweets

• kitty fighting gifs

• Moncler x Tod’s collab

• WYB bringing winter clothes to XZ who is in Shanghai

• LRLG 11/28/2022

• Candy Round-Up Weibo Night 2022

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

• Same pose with their fingers

• CPN on XZS not sharing behind the scenes content for photoshoots when WYB is present at the event

DECEMBER 2022

• Accidental Candy : Red Phone case 📱

• GG uses a Tod’s bag with lion theme

• 12/6 Xiao Zhan airport clues + Addressing the video leak

• CPN Archaeology : skateboard as a distraction after 2019 tencent starlight, white hair and W hotel

• 12/8 Chanel dinner minor candies

• 12/9 2022 TV series awards recommendation. YBO posts about Chen Yu and XZ posts Gu Wei. Uhmmm Hello ChenWei 🤍

• 12/10, Luxury Couple! WYB for Chanel & GG for Gucci.

• New Wuji recording BTS shared by Chengyi

• 12/15 GQ MOTY candies

• 12/16 One said Good Night, the other said Good Morning.

• Chengyi confirms Wuji holding hands + here are my thoughts on this whole thing and a bit of a timeline on things that happened after.

• YBO posted with their IP in Beijing and the time is 17:17. The number is a homonym for “ 一起together”. A coincidence since XZ left at approximately 17:00 to go to BJ. So it’s a clue that they are together in BJ. There were also rumors that Bobo’s new song was recorded this day, so it adds to the CPN that they are together. much more to the speculation that ZZ was there while he is recording.

• Another fanfic artwork by Chengyi. This time, a fake story about WYB post GQ 2019 ( allegedly ) eating instant noodles after the event. An after work snack. Then the design on the packets are rabbits, so he took a picture and shared it among his circle of friends. People are saying it’s this instant noodle for kids! Hahahahahaha! So cuteeee!!

• 12/20 Yibo weibo post with the BGM of Lucky + Tencent Starlight Candy being sort of confirmed ( yibo at gg’s rehearsal ). >>> The 10c rehearsal candy being sort of confirmed is one of my favorites from this year. just goes to show that CPNs do come true, especially CPNs like this.

• XZS and YBO using the same word in their captions on the same days! Again, they are dating.

• 12/24 Christmas Eve CPN - revisiting the 2020 GG birthday CPN, same greetings and handwriting ( there are more comparison posts about the handwriting but we’re really not experts but it looks so similar ) , zsww fake rumor about missing you and new tidbits

• Yibo’s new single, concept poster teaser cpn + similarity with GG’s drawing. (1/12) A company posted about their work on the teaser visual and his nye stage, but not the single artwork. Last year, no one even claimed anything. but now someone did but did not own up to all of it. Why not? It’s another one of those things that no one claimed an important piece of artwork connected to yibo.

• Yibo being announced as a performer @ Dragon TV NYE Party and his poster photo being his Douyin outfit. Another example of him using photos from when he was in events with GG.

• GG showing up in Chonqing wearing green pants that look very similar to what Yibo has been wearing. So the thing is, during his personal time, Web has been wearing a certain type of green pants, even seen in his GQ event rehearsal. Then GG suddenly shows up with a similar looking one. 🙃 People are saying it’s the EPIDEMIC one, and Bobo has a matching black version of that. But it’s too similar to what Bobo was wearing for his past engagements, and knowing that they were both just in Beijing together, it screams borrowing each other’s clothes.

• Single teaser 2/12 cpn

• Like The Sunshine / Like Sunlight Analysis post

• ZZ’s 12/30 weibo video and photos

• For Yibo’s SUPER X Ad, we can see stars and bones in what he is wearing. Another recurring imagery for him. I am personally fond of when he wears skeleton/bones because it’s a connection to the 🦴 necklace.

That’s a Wrap for 2022! I will be sharing 12/31 candies tomorrow but that is gonna be included in the 2023 post. We have been very fortunate to have these sweets in the latter half of the month and it’s all thanks to XZ & WYB.

See you all next year for another round up! 👋🏼

#yizhan #bjyx #bjyxszd #this is all CPN

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darklydeliciousdesires · 1 year

Text

The Dream - An Angel Reyes/OC Story.

So, guys. I want to put this out there to see if anyone is interested, because as usual, I’m doubting myself. If you all do wish to read more, then I won’t begin posting it until next week/week after, which will be for twice weekly updates once each chapter has hit 40 notes. I think that’s fair, given Angel’s popularity around these parts!

So yes, here’s the prologue. It started life as a completely different fic, originally written 15 years ago now, and I am slowly re-writing it to a better standard. If you’ve ever seen the film The Good Night, you will see I have drawn my inspiration for it from there. I’ve tagged everyone I can think who might be interested, too. I look forward to your thoughts!

Tag list - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed

Words - 945

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

Prologue.

The splintered floorboards against his cheek felt rough, yet damp at the same time as Angel opened his eyes a fraction, his head cloudy, a distinct smell of gasoline or something like it hanging in the air. “I went home, didn’t I? How the fuck did I... am I wasted? Did I keep on drinking and go back out, end up someplace?” His thoughts were befuddled as he came around more, everything so tangible that it took him a beat to realise that no, he hadn’t left his home again after the consumption of more alcohol. He was dreaming.

He opened his eyes properly, experiencing the sensation of his body unconsciously lifting from the floor until he was standing, his booted feet sounding like they were scraping across sandpaper as he took a few steps forward. His eyes were blurry, not focusing, feeling like he was walking through a mist until he felt his head thud off a wall, after which his vision cleared perfectly.

The whole house seemed to be bathed in an eerie green light, yet when Angel looked at himself in the mirror next to where he had hit his forehead so sharply, he appeared perfectly normal; like the light was touching everything else but him.

He had no idea where he was, this place his dream state imagination had transported him to was not based on any abode he had visited in his waking hours, but when he heard a sudden, thunderous banging noise, his instincts kicked in sharply. He might not have known what the source of the noise was, but he felt on pure instinct that he had to get away from it as fast as he could.

As he began to run in the opposite direction of where the sound emanated, a sound that grew so loud the floor shook, his feet pounding up the old wooden staircase of what was revealed to be an old, dilapidated house, he experienced the tingling of the hairs on the back of his neck standing up, his muscles tightening, that feeling of dread at being chased by something predatory engulfing him completely.

The noise was so loud, it deafened him as he took the stairs two at a time, each one splintering and fracturing into nothing beneath his feet as he ran, reaching the top and beginning to sprint along a long, narrow hall. Right at the very end, turning onto the same hallway, he suddenly saw a girl appear, running towards him, turning to look behind over her shoulder and then back at him, both advancing on each other quicker and quicker, but still almost as if they were in slow motion.

He felt an inexplicable desperation to get to her, like his life depended on reaching her and pulling her into his arms. It was at polar juxtapose, so surreal yet so real, he couldn't make sense of any of it.

He didn't have a clue who she was, but she looked like she needed to get to him every bit as urgently. She kept running to him, her long, brown hair billowing behind her as she ran and ran, reaching his open arms and letting out a huge, relieved sigh.

He looked down at her, her body pressed to his and felt as if he was losing his whole world into her eyes, like he'd slid into the dilated pupils if he looked at them for too long, those huge, hazel orbs, almost cartoonish, they were so big. His hands moved to her cheeks on instinct, the noise they’d both ran from growing louder, Angel resting his head to hers.

“Will you look after me? Don’t let it get me,” she spoke, her voice trembling, fear riddling her entire body, he could tell, her arms shaking as she reached to clutch his wrists.

He nodded rapidly. “It’s okay, I ain’t gonna let anything hurt you.” And he meant it, with every fibre of his being, he meant it from the depths of his soul. Nothing would hurt her, but he had no idea why he was so protective over this diminutive brunette, a mere figment of his imagination, perplexing thoughts riddling him as he stared down at her, feeling his pulse racing madly as the noise grew louder around them.

On impulse, he leaned down to kiss her, folding almost a foot, she was so tiny compared to him, yet when his lips touched hers, the entire dream imploded on itself, the loud noise booming in explosion as he sat up in his bed, covered in a thin veil of sweat.

“Shit,” he gasped, gulping. “I gotta stop drinking so much damned tequila.”

Meanwhile...

“Woah!” Keri exclaimed as she sat bolt upright, the last few traces of remembrance of her dream swimming before her eyes, the deafening noise she had heard like something erupting still ringing in her ears.

As she assessed the surroundings of her bedroom to find some stability, she could swear that the scent of the black haired man whose arms she’d ran to was still lingering under her nose, a man she had never seen before in her entire life, yet been compelled to get to as she’d ran through that house, the stairs crumbling beneath her feet as she’d fled the loud noise which had filled her with such dread.

Picking up her phone, she illuminated the screen, seeing that it was only four thirty in the morning, just three hours after she'd stumbled to bed after going out drinking with her friends. She hadn't expected to wake up again so soon, let alone from the most intense dream she'd ever experienced.

#angel reyes #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes imagine #angel reyes smut #angel reyes x ofc #angel reyes fanfic #angel reyes fic #mayans mc #mayans mc fanfiction #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc smut #mayans mc fanfic #mayans mc fic

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dearweirdme · 5 months

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BigHit and BTS are not ypur typical K-Pop label/group and they never were. From the first day they debuted and their (or rather Bang PD’s) strategy was to showcase the members as their real selves (minus the assigned stage personas), as in they filmed a lot of logs on YouTube just talking to the fans about their real thoughts and such. Bang PD encouraged them to write their own feelings into their music, and their music has been defiant to the norm since day 1.

BTS have been shunned by the industry to the point they had to make their own reality shows to better express themselves without prejudice, while continuing to film every step of their journey and keep track of almost their every waking moment to show the fans what kind of people and artists they are.

BTS risked getting blacklisted by their government twice because of songs like Am I Wrong? and Spring Day, mind you these were released when BTS were still a 3-4 year old group that was barely starting to get recognized by the industry.

In Jikook's case, they have been close since day 1. They slept in Jimin's bed, they stayed behind to practice more then sleep in the lobby together as to not wake the members, they were 'all-nighter buddies', they kept getting closer each year to the point they grew inseparable and you'd see them always together in b-t-s content like in memories. They got paired together during shoots because of their insane chemistry. And it reached a point where in 2019 after the Rose Bowl ear incident, Tkkrs mass emailed the company and spammed Twitter with hashtags asking them to "stop the gay fan service" but BigHit didn't give a damn and continued showcasing them as a close duo because that's what the reality is.

Only in 2020, BTS worldwide popularity doubled because of Dynamite and a new wave of fans started getting to know BTS and with that Taekook grew even more popular individually and as a ship (as did every member and duo but Taekook grew bigger because they're the youngest, and have arguably more Euro-centric fitting visuals) and BigHit started caring more about the international audience as opposed to the Korean audience how it used to be (notice how K-armys have been complacent in streaming for the past 3-4 years because most of them are mad BTS are giving western ARMYs more content and performances and English songs). So BigHit started banking on Taekook and started pairing them in ads, shoots, highlighting them in choreographies, songs, and in memories. But Jikook remain undefeated quantity and quality wise, why? Because they simply spend more time together that can be kept in content. That is probably why you saw that Taekook ITS talk and why Taekook content stopped getting edited out as much after that. They're still a meh duo in terms of chemistry to be honest with you, and that's probably why they'll never be used as much as Jikook for fun content. Like imagine being one of the editors and you have to edit every DVD down to like 40 minutes or something and you have to choose between clips of Taekook just sitting there or Jikook being fun and playful? I think it's an obvious choice. But I can still see that they're making more effort into keeping as much as Taekook content in possible to appease to their audience. I don't envy yall honestly. And before you tell me that I ship Jikook based on company content that the company chooses to leave in, I don't. I'm not a Jikook shipper I just enjoy their bond and I can see their chemistry and from a business perspective I understand why BigHit chooses to leave in their moments (even the most controversial ones) because it's fun and entertaining and it causes discussions. And it doesn't really matter who thinks that their chemistry is legit and who thinks that they just play it up for cameras, Jikook have great, great chemistry and it far surpasses anything I've seen of Taekook. And I've seen a lot of them two in the past 3-4 years.

Hi anon!

Well I agree that BTS is different. They are honest and open as much as they can be, but that does not extend to their relationships.. at all. I think there’s a huge amount of space between being different and totally ignoring cultural and societal standards.

But you do see that what we see is a choice. And I agree, that Tae and Jk’s interactions are probably less entertaining to watch than that of Jkk. Jkk are loud and boisterous and full of energy. While Tae and Jk are often more relaxing and a bit more on the background. That is an actual choice the company made.. and one I think would have been made even without shipping and possible relationships. You are quite wrong about when they started to include Taekook footage again, since the amount of Taekook footage in their earlier years was evident, followed by a real decrease when things looked to be getting more serious, and starting up again when things settles down. Jk prefaced the the uptick in Tkk footage in ITS. That’s because it was indeed a decision made, and not because the suddenly talked things through. (don’t even get me started on your mention of their more Eurocentric features, because they are very clearly asian, and your reasoning here would actually fit my ideas more than yours. Because apparently the company does mingle in what they show.. it’s just not a case when it comes to their relationships?)

As I said.. the difference is whether you think Bh would show or hide an actual queer in band relationship. Look at another ask I received just now (hi other anon!)

I know what I find more likely.

#straws #taekook #members #fandom shenanigans

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turnips-dont-grow-on-trees · 6 months

Text

What Measure A Man?

Fandom: Werewolf By Night (MCU)

Gen

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: Jack and Elsa fight a monster, find a lost child, and talk philosophy, not necessarily in that order. Tw for off-screen child abduction, child in peril, canon-typical violence

(A/N: I hope I haven’t misstepped with my depiction of a cucuy. I am weak for wordplay and actor allusion, but if I’ve crossed a line let me know and I will make it a generic bogeyman instead.

(Also, I do love the film’s monster makeup and the decision to go with a trad wolfman design with an expressive face. I just wanted to have my cake and eat it too, so I wrote this doesn’t-contradict-canon-but-most-probably-wouldn’t-call-it-compliant fic.)

Elsa had been tracking the cucuy for almost a week, and she was getting close. It had been moving steadily south-southeast, and she expected it would likely be slowing down, now that it had found what was surely its ideal habitat – an old forest, whose canopy was so thick that even at high noon the understory was dim twilight, where shadows abounded. Just what a boogeyman needed.

She crept carefully along a deer trail, looking for any signs that the monster was in the immediate area. And because she was paying excruciatingly close attention to her surroundings, she noticed the wolf before it noticed her.

It was nosing through the brush perhaps fifteen metres downhill from her, its reddish coat blending in with the carpet of fallen leaves but the white on its paws and muzzle standing out in the dim light. Elsa took a steadying breath, prepared to stay still and observe from a distance, but she didn’t get the chance - a jay kicked up a fuss just over her head, and the wolf’s head snapped up to look in her direction.

“Elsa?!”

What. the. Fuck.

The wolf - Jack, it had to be Jack - bounded up the hill towards her. She had to stifle every instinct and trained reflex in order to keep her posture loose. Lucky for her, appearing unconcerned was a specialty

"Hi… Jack." Up close he was smaller than she would have expected, about the size of a large alsatian. Otherwise, there was nothing to distinguish him from the mounted specimens of timber wolves she’d seen in lowercase-h hunting lodges. There was nothing to suggest that he was a werewolf at all, or indeed Jack Russell, except she was fairly certain she would recognize those eyes anywhere.

"Elsa! What are you doing here?"

“I’m tracking a cucuy… ” There had to be a way to ask, right? Jack hadn’t said anything about why he was a wolf, but that didn’t mean it would be rude to ask. Jack’s ears flattened against his skull. “A cucuy! Oh no no no, that is not good. A little girl has gone missing; I’m helping the search party looking for her. If a cucuy is involved, we have to hurry! Come on, this way!” He raced back to where she’d first spotted him. Elsa hurried after him, scrambling to keep up with him and her tumbling thoughts, a jolt of adrenalin sending her heartbeat into overdrive. Internally, she was berating herself - if she’d been faster, better, she could have caught up to the cucuy before it found its next child to kidnap. But with Jack’s help, finding the creature responsible would surely go twice as fast.

Elsa’s chest felt tight. A knot formed, just beneath her ribs, that she knew could not be picked apart and untangled with logic. A proper Gordian knot, the only way to get rid of it was to cut it, and the only way to cut it was to find the girl and hope they weren’t too late.

That was the crux of the matter, wasn’t it? Starting now, she wasn’t going to stop looking until the girl was found, and she had no idea how long that would be. Tracking a cucuy alone was one thing; then, hours of tracking could be downright monotonous if there weren’t many signs. It was practically routine, and she could take short breaks knowing the trail would still be there for her to pick up again if she didn’t wait too long.

Now, though, now there was a countdown clock she couldn’t see, and her mind started forecasting the future, unspooling potentialities, imagining still being in the forest, still searching, still feeling this damnable, sustained tension for the next two, three, four hours - the thought of which was its own form of anxiety, compounding her stress.

Stop. Focus. She took a deep breath, then another, and finally a helpful, rational thought was able to penetrate her spiraling thoughts. Cucuy don’t typically eat their victims right away. They try to adopt the children, and when that doesn’t work, they lose their tempers with disastrous consequences… but it takes time to get to that point. And by now the sun had come up; the bogeyman was likely drowsing the day away, with the little girl in thrall. Like many monsters, it was primarily active at night.

She caught up to Jack as he was circling the ground, seeking whatever trail he’d been tracking before. Suddenly, he darted forward, only to slow down after several strides. He then backtracked, snuffled at the ground audibly, then leaped forward on a slightly different heading, only to come to a halt once again.

"Jack, Jack, slow down! We have time, so long as we get there before nightfall. At this rate you’ll just tire yourself out before we even get there."

Panting slightly and looking as abashed as a wolf could, Jack bobbed his head. “Sí, sí, you’re right. I got a bit ahead of myself, didn’t I?”

“You got ahead of the trail, at any rate.” The pace Jack now set, nose to the ground, was more akin to a leisurely amble, and Elsa fell into step beside him. “Can I ask a question?”

“Of course! Anything.”

“Is this what you’re like when you transform without the influence of the bloodstone?”

“Well, no, but yes.”

Elsa rolled her eyes. “Thanks, that cleared everything up.”

Jack glanced up at her, then at the forest around them. “You remember, when I said there is a part of me that is not me? That part came out with the bloodstone, yes, but it is also the part that comes out on full moon nights. That is one kind of transformation; this is another.”

“So if your current transformation is not the ‘part of you that is not you,’ what is it then?”

“Eh? Also me. I’m still myself, still human.” He paused momentarily to scratch behind one ear. Using his foot.

“Think you might need to get your eyes checked, mate.”

“Well – Hang on.” He paused, scenting the ground closely. “Would you mind moving to my other side? The wind’s shifted, your smell is getting in the way.”

“No one’s ever insulted my smell so directly before,” she huffed, mock-offended, but she did comply. “You were going to try to tell me that you are in fact a human right now.”

“Because I am.” He glanced up at her again. Behind his wolfy grin, there was… something. He wasn’t just trying to take the piss out of her. But she didn’t know what he wanted her to say.

"You're literally a wolf. For god's sake you're walking on four legs and covered in fur!"

"So? Most humans have two legs, it is true. But some have one, or none. The number of legs we have does not make us human."

“Yes, fine,” she conceded the point. “Humans are intelligent, is that it? You’re saying it’s your mind that makes you human, that because you can talk and think, you’re human on the inside, where it counts?” She shrugged. “Sure, why not.”

“I wouldn’t say humans are intelligent–”

Elsa snorted, then jerked in surprise when Jack actually nipped her heel.

"I'm being serious! This is important. Being smart, that's not what makes someone human. If that were the case, then there would be a, how you say, a scale. People at the top, the ones with the highest IQ, they would be the most human. And people less smart would be less human. There are already people who think this way, and it is wrong! Ted was born human, raised human. He got three doctorates. Since he was changed, he's not quite so fast at problem-solving. He can't do the quantum what-you-call-it in his head anymore, the way he used to. But he's not less! He's just different. And he hasn't stopped being human just because of an accident."

"An accident!?"

"In a manner of speaking. It was not the intended outcome to become as he is."

Elsa mulled that over, ducking under a low-hanging branch. "What, then, decides whether someone is human? If it's not their body and it's not their intellect?"

"Well, why not let them decide? I think, if someone feels that they are human, that should be enough, yeah?"

Elsa sighed. She’d come here to hunt a monster, not get philosophical, but she supposed this was par for the course when Jack was involved. “Surely it can’t be that easy, but what do I know? Can’t say I’ve given it much thought before. Growing up, I was taught a very black-and-white definition of human and monster.”

Jack hummed. “But something changed your mind, no? You disagreed with Verussa even before we met.”

Elsa waved him off. “You give me too much credit, it wasn’t anything as noble as you make it sound. I just - Wait.” She halted and gestured for him to do the same, crouching down to get a closer look at what she’d spotted. “Look - cucuy tracks, and they’re fresh. We’re close.” Jack was instantly alert, ears twitching and tail partially raised. He partially opened his mouth, scenting the air. "There’s fear-scent, faintly, both human and rabbit. It probably tried to offer her live prey, which she would have refused. I don’t smell any of her blood, so I don’t think the cucuy retaliated. But we are close, now, and we need a plan. You have more experience fighting monsters, how about you go after the cucuy, and I will get the child to safety?"

"And how are you going to do that, the way you are now? Which, you never actually - nevermind, no time now. How about you distract the cucuy while I get the child – what’s her name? Do you know?” “Sylvie.” “Then I’ll come back after I’ve gotten Sylvie to out of there, and cut its head off.” Then she added, more sharply than she intended, “Oh, sorry, unless it counts as human and I should spare it?” She could not say she was a fan of the uncertainty being around Jack brought to monster hunting.

Jack looked at her with eyes far too knowing. “I don’t like killing. But I do not have the luxury to pretend I don’t understand it.”

“Alright then. Glad we’re agreed.” Elsa broke eye contact first.

Moving silently, they crept forward. A broken-necked rabbit lay on the packed earth of a small clearing. There in the rocky hillside beyond was a tall, narrow crevasse, maybe four feet wide, and extending back at least ten feet. Elsa could just make out the small figure of a human child, tucked into the back of the cave. And leaning over her, the cucuy.

She and Jack exchanged one last look, then he charged, hurtling forward like an arrow, teeth bared in a snarl. He covered the distance in less than two seconds, giving the cucuy no time to react before his jaws clamped tightly around one of its legs. Jack heaved his body backward, pulling its spindly limbs tumbling from its shelter, before letting go and darting out of reach of its grasping hands. The cucuy screeched in anger, its deep eye sockets fixed on Jack; Elsa seized the opportunity to break cover and dash to the little girl’s side.

She was young, maybe six or seven, and dressed in Tweety Bird pyjamas. So far as Elsa could tell she was unharmed, though she was sound asleep despite the ruckus - likely still under the cucuy’s thrall. Elsa didn’t envy her the nightmares when she awoke, but at the moment it made her job easier. She slung the girl over her shoulders in a fireman’s carry and booked it, sprinting away from the fight and not stopping until she’d put at least twenty metres between them.

Then she carefully laid the girl down, beneath the overhang of a fallen tree’s roots. No time to catch her breath, Elsa ran back to the fight in time to see Jack, bleeding from one ear, leap forward and slash open the monster’s forelimb with a quick snap of his teeth, before leaping back to resume circling it, growling. Elsa readied her machete and waited until the cucuy, pivoting to keep Jack in its sights, turned its back to her before she leaped forward and lopped its head off with one blow.

She let the blade fall to the ground, and finally, finally, stopped to catch her breath.

Jack trotted up to her, skirting the headless, many-limbed body on the ground. “Sylvie, is she okay?”

“She’s fine, the thrall should break soon now that the cucuy is dead.”

“Good, good, that’s good.”

As they fell into step once more, walking towards the sleeping girl, Elsa figured she would not get another opportunity. "So… can I ask why you’re ‘human’ on four legs today?"

"To help with the search party, of course. My nose is much better, this way. But," he added, flicking one ear at her, "I am thinking that you are wondering how, not why. Simply put, when I transform voluntarily, I keep my mind. I am all of myself, and not caught in-between."

"So you could turn back, now that we’ve found the girl? I have to say, it’s a little distracting, having a conversation with you like this."

He grinned toothily. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner? But I think you will agree that changing back would be more distracting - I haven’t got any clothes with me.”

Elsa raised an unimpressed brow. "So what exactly was your a plan, if you found her? Naked man approaching a young girl in the woods - not a good look."

"I have a Lassie routine I can pull out. No, really!" He raised his tail from where it hung down at rest, pulled his head back so he looked less like he was stalking prey, and grinned a toothy doggy grin, his tongue lolling to one side. He shifted his gait so he trotted as he walked, practically bouncing. Elsa could not suppress a snort - werewolves should not be so goofy - and shortly thereafter Jack relaxed back into his natural wolfy posture. He shook his shoulders lightly like he was shaking off snow. "It is tiring to maintain for long time," he admitted. "Gives me a crick in my neck." The girl, Sylvie, was just where Elsa had left her, asleep between the roots of a wide beech tree. Elsa tried shaking her awake, but Sylvie merely turned over in her sleep. She checked her over for injury, more methodically than before, and beside her Jack did the same with his own senses. It all reaffirmed what Elsa had already determined, that apart from nightmares, Sylvie would be just fine. Still, little kids were resilient. Could be she’d be able to put this bad dream behind her. Jack wuffed softly. “You’ll have to carry her back. I’ll keep out of sight in case she wakes up.” “Except I don’t know the way. C’mon, Lassie, you can take the lead.” “Ay, I already regret saying anything about that.” Elsa lifted the still-sleeping girl onto her back for the trek back towards human habitation. Hopefully the search party wasn’t too far, or the sleeping spell wore off soon, because while seven-year-old wasn’t heavy, she wasn’t exactly light either, and as he was, Jack was no help at all. “So… How is Ted doing? Is he around?” “No, he doesn’t like cold weather; he rarely comes this far north. I am actually on my way to visit him, in Florida." "That’s nice. What brought you to Missouri?" They’d talked for about a quarter mile about places they’d both seen on their travels, when Elsa felt a stirring at her back. Signalling to Jack that he should stop talking, she shifted her grip and lowered Sylvie to the ground. The girl woke up slowly at first, then all at once. She shrieked, ear-piercingly loud and sudden enough that Elsa took a startled step backwards, holding her hands up placatingly. "Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re safe now. I’ve got you, you’re safe."

"Wh-where am I?! Who are you?! I don’t, I don’t - !" she took great gulping breaths.

Elsa crouched down. "My name is Elsa. I found you in the woods. Your family is looking for you; I’m here to bring you home."

Sylvie latched onto her sleeve with a vice grip. "Why am I in the woods! Why!"

"It’s okay." Elsa soothed, squeezing her shoulder to ground her. "You’re awake, the nightmare is over. You’re safe. You’ll be home soon." Elsa didn’t particularly want to gaslight a seven-year-old with lies; a distraction, on the other hand, could be just the thing to shift her focus and get her moving forward. Physically and metaphorically. "Have you met my friend, Jack?" He trotted over, head held high, and sat down next to Elsa, tail wagging.

"Oh!" Sylvie released her vice-grip on Elsa’s jacket to tentatively reach towards him. Jack obligingly lowered his head so she could rub between his fuzzy ears. "He’s so pretty!"

"You’re so right," Elsa agreed, to appease the child; Jack cocked his head and grinned at her. She sighed and stood up, brushing off dirt and leaves. "C’mon, your family is waiting for you. Let’s get you home." She held out her hand to Sylvie, and together they started walking, Jack trotting along beside, still in Lassie-mode.

"How did I get out here? Do you know? Do you know where my Daddy is? I miss him! I don’t like these woods!" Sylvie stopped abruptly and dug her heels in. "Get my dad!"

"The faster we walk, the faster you’ll get to your dad."

"I don’t want to walk! I hate these woods! I want you to call my Daddy!"

"I don’t have his number." Which was an oversight on their part, admittedly. She should have checked if Jack had gotten a contact number for the search party. "I can’t carry you the whole way, it’s too far. Literally the only way we’re getting out of these woods is if we all walk."

"Why can’t you carry me?"

"I just said. You’re too big."

"But I don’t want to walk."

Elsa pinched the bridge of her nose. Sylvie was scared, and scared kids had the same fear reflexes as anyone else: fight, flight, or fawn. Elsa should consider herself lucky that the girl’s first response wasn’t to bolt into the forest, but the impulse to curl up and lie still wasn’t helpful in this situation.

She tried another tactic. "You know, Jack is scared of the woods, too."

"What, really?" Sylvie looked skeptically at Jack, who gave her his best puppy eyes in response.

"Yep," Elsa said, biting back a grin. "Total scaredy-cat, this one. But it’s good for him to be outside, so I’m trying to get him used to the forest. Do you think you can help me? Can you show him how to be brave?"

Sylvie gave her proposal due consideration, then nodded, steely-eyed. "You don’t have to worry anymore, Jack. I’ll look out for you."

Task in hand, Sylvie had no more issues with walking. She kept up a constant stream of chatter, directed mostly towards Jack in order to reassure him. In the end, it did not take that long to cross paths with the search party. Within half an hour Elsa had returned Sylvie to the grateful arms of her father, Jack hanging back out of sight of the adults, who were all significantly less likely to be fooled by his dog routine.

Elsa extricated herself from their gratitude as quickly as she could, uninterested in tearful reunions. She bummed a map off one of the searchers and plotted the best course back to her car. As soon as the search party was out of sight, Jack fell into step beside her.

"It was good to see you again, Elsa."

"Mm. This was a lot more fun than last time." She chewed her lip, thinking carefully about whether she wanted to make the offer. "Listen," Elsa began. "I was actually on my way to Georgia, this hunt was just a detour. Word is there’s something draining the ley lines. If you’re headed to Florida, do you want to… travel together, for a bit?"

"I’d like that."

"Clothing is required. That’s non-negotiable."

"Of course."

The last vestiges of the knot in her chest loosened, and she took a deep breath of cool autumn air. Some company would be nice for this trip.

#werewolf by night #ch: jack russell #elsa bloodstone #marvel #mcu #wwbn fic #my writing #truthfully this has been 70% done since last november #finally got the push i needed to finish it!

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wishmemel · 6 months

Note

OMGOMG SAFI congrats on 100 ml !! hihii im here to participate in your cute slumber party event ! (i even brought my fave pillow and totoro plushie)

okok soo yk i'm dria 🩵 black / caribbean, around 5'1 (i promise im so close to 5'2 don't @ me haters will hate i drink my milk and eat my veggies) i have huge hair!! like very big hair, too many curls!! it's alot! i love reading, i write plenty of poetry, which is what i use most of my time to do — i lovelove r&b and early 2000s rap music. however, if u open my spotify rn and shuffle my liked songs it would go in order of hip hop, rap, afrobeats, classical music bcus my taste is all over the place. (i also keep a folder of edit audios for my own maladaptive daydreaming purposes lmao)

im rlly a baby blue girlie, fave flowers are tulips (idk my brain js thinks they look yummy), fave season is autumn ofc bcus rainy weather and i have an excuse to stay inside under my blankets 😭 fave animal would beee a black panther or a tabby cat! (my bby bella is a tabby lmao) i love vintage shows (rlly old noir films of all types of genres) i love cinema and visual art it stimulates me sm (im autistic btw i forgot to say mb) i've watched almost every wes anderson film in existence i love soft color palettes in film so bad <3

i enjoy watching old cartoons to relive my childhood nostalgia, jewelry (esp rings i never go anywhere without one or two on), rainy days, late night car drives, baggy shirts, scented candles, afrobeats n anything astronomy related.

im very much a social science n humanities junkie - yearning to be a clinical psychiatrist or complete my dream of teaching literature / psychology. i cry very easily (im js a crybaby istg) - in general im just very very emotional and more often than not i forget common sense and instinct are a thing bcus wtv i feel i just go with it - though i am extremely introverted and freak out when overstimulated in huge crowds and whatnot.

for the event im picking toji bcus that man is the love of my life bye ☹️ the epitome of sunshine and sunshine protector - tiny human and big scary guard dog ! in terms of our compatibility, we're so opposite it's insane! but we balance each other out well. sometimes i have to serve as toji's brain bcus this man is spending money he does not have on all sorts of things for me js cause i looked twice (my sister hced that he'd go below bankrupt buying me sanrio plushies and rings) he works mostly off instinct where i go completely off emotion so we butt heads alot in terms of decision making but he does not know how to tell me no, all i do is sigh once and HES DONE FOR.

i stress this man out like hes my full time babysitter pls

we acc spend alot of time having deep talks about the world and life in general, (i told him ab the backrooms lore and it messed w his head for weeks) which is a side of him he rarely shows to anyone (also he listens to me rant abt daily pop culture developments bcus he lowkey loves the celebrity drama) he's rlly protective, and even moreso bcus of how my anxiety gets. in a crowd this man is standing in front of me and blocking my view of everyone (he also subconsciously pulls me into his side when we're walking in public bcus my autistic ass will see one thing and wander off never to be found again) im always talking like talk talk talking and he pretends he isn't listening but he's literally able to repeat today something i mentioned two weeks ago - he's attentive, shows his love through actions rather than words. if i even make a face that gives away that im uncomfortable being somewhere, or my social battery is dead, hes taking me home no questions asked not a care as to who says what.

im an affection junkie - physical touch is my thing ! and hes so big! so im always pouncing on him for bear hugs and he acts so unimpressed and cocky abt it like "oh you missed me? im not goin anywhere relax" but he acc melts bcus when was the last time someone gave him affection?? he prob thinks im a figment of his imagination lolol

days off / dates would mainly be : window shopping, grocery runs, sitting in the park at sunset, indoor ramen dates n movie marathons and cuddles !!

AHHH sorry if i ranted way too much omg i can't wait to see what you do safi, i'll love anything u write ily so baddd <33

note: hihi dria, thanks for bringing your fave pillow and your totoro plush to the slumber party.

dria x toji — ꒰ tojria

“in this space right here that we have made for each other, you can say anything and i will not abandon you. unwrap the worst things you have done. watch me hold them up to the light and not even flinch.”

height differences, cinnamoroll x badtz maru, protective touches, 3 am conversations about life, romantic picnics at sunset, shopping together, opposites attract, shy x protective, princess treatment, introvert x introvert, buckling your seatbelt for you, tired bf x hyper gf, teasing remarks, day x night, accidental eye contact, blushing, midnight walks, late night phone calls, giddiness, sunshine x sunshine protector, stealing his clothes, late night drives, deleted texts, holding hands under the table, "mean to everyone but her" bf, head pats, she fell first, he fell harder.

being with toji is not always as seamless or easy as you make it look. He's gruff and protective and difficult and incredibly stubborn. like that time you two fought because he was ignoring what you were saying and he flat-out refused to acknowledge your demand when you called him out on it. to be fair, he'd come home after an eight-hour shift and you'd started talking his head off, but it wouldn't kill him to listen. he wasn't paying attention when you were talking about that new hello kitty cafe with the fun milkshakes and the mini donuts that you wanted to try. hell, he ended up falling asleep on your shoulder after brushing off your argument and as much as you wanted to remain angry at him, you'd softened immediately upon seeing his tired face, all eyebags and troubled frown. and he did make it up to you later by taking you to said cafe and proving that he had been listening, though when you brought it up to him, he pretended not to know what you were talking about. but deep down he cares for you and he's trying — you know he's trying and you don't want to make him feel bad for things he can't control. a lot of the concerns you should bring up to him, you don't — you want this relationship to be easy and safe. you want him to feel comfortable with you the same way that you feel comfortable with him. even if sometimes he comes home with a busted lip and bloody knuckles and sends your heart skidding against your ribcage. but what matters is that he comes to you first and he comes home to you. so you know that no matter what, no matter how he's feeling, if he thinks he can talk to you or not, he'll always come home to you. and even if you doubt his commitment sometimes, he knows that you're home to him and he'll do anything to keep it that way.

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the way i loved you, enchanted, daylight, afterglow, how you get the girl, treacherous, sparks fly, so it goes...

join safi's perfect slumber party event — requests are open for everyone!

#꒰ safi's perfect slumber party. ꒱

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demcnsinmymind · 27 days

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Lance + post canon purpose / job / calling - messing with cults

I've written a lot about the end goal behind Aza/thoth's cult and Azzy's and Lance's feelings towards said cult I've finally figured out how things'll keep going for the boy and Az in a satisfying way for me at least, which I think also ties really nicely into proper GE canon and Lance as a character.

For a while now, I've HCed that I can't see him just going back to his old job post canon. Being a standard filmmaker with a normal life. He's also severely traumatized from what happened in canon, being filmed while losing his mind and then way past that, so he'll avoid his former job for a while.

However. One of these days, he'll make sense of how to use it all.

Also let's never forget that Collingwood canonically wanted people to keep filming everything

So anyway. Eventually, both him and Azzy will have gotten rid of the cult that got Lance into the whole mess to begin with. Even Andromeda will be gone. And successfully ending an entire cult, moreso the one that almost killed him and hurt him so much will give Lance a huuuuuuuuge morale boost and hunger for more.

For some reasons I haven't quite figured out yet he'll also be freed of any charges and can return to his old life with his old name. Very probably via the help of Azzy's telepathy and mindfuckery manipulating the necessary people into it.

So anyway...he'll figure out that he can use all of this. His name. His reputation. The things that happened to him. The things he knows now. The things he wants to take revenge on. Make a new show. And what better way than watch a guy who lived to tell a very fucked up tale do more of it?

So....he'll start shooting documentaries about doomsday cults. Real close and personal. Interviews with members and leaders alike. Inside their camps. Their minds. Top of the line footage. And wouldn't you know it? Twice now, he's managed to shoot footage inside such locations just weeks before said members of said cults all committed suicide. Or murdered each other just the way they were foretold to do it eventually.

And it's really top of the line footage. A real deep dive into the psyche of these cults. A true fucking hit. Guy is lucky he made it out before these people went nuts! Really must have one hell of a guardian angel, getting out of fucked up situations like that over and over again. Helping victims of said cults with money and general support too, all generated from the show...

Let's talk behind the scenes though. Shit no one knows.

Yes. These cult members and leaders really killed themselves be that via suicide or in a fucked up massacre murder spree.

But they weren't going to before.

Lance and most of all Az drove them insane with its powers while shooting that footage. Trapping them. On site in loops and fucked up wtfness so they cannot get outside anymore, hurt any innocent people or draw more in with their fucked up shit. I keep saying how much of a fan I am of the Endless. But yes, basically just picture all the stuff that happens in the Endless. Happening to the cults they both decide to fuck with.

Lance gets back to making and pioneering film stuff. He gets to keep getting revenge for all the things that were done to him and his crew. And Az. Oh Az. It gets to keep filming. It gets to keep toying. It gets to keep fucking with people with its powers. And they both get to keep practicing what they really can do together. And make bank off of it while doing so.

#headcanons #hc : lore

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the-rewatch-rewind · 9 months

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An old movie with a very relevant name.

Script below the break.

Hello and welcome back to The Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane, and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most frequently rewatched movies over the last 20 years. Today I will be discussing number 14 on my list: MGM’s 1944 psychological thriller Gaslight, directed by George Cukor, written by John Van Druten, Walter Reisch, and John L Balderston, based on the play by Patrick Hamilton, and starring Ingrid Bergman, Charles Boyer, and Joseph Cotten.

So first of all, if you’re thinking, “Gaslight? As in, to deny someone’s reality to the point that they can no longer trust their own perceptions?” then, yes, you’re absolutely correct: this movie (and the play it’s based on and the 1940 British film it’s a remake of) is where that term comes from. So I’m just going to give a blanket content warning for this whole episode: I will be talking a lot about psychological and emotional abuse. This is an incredibly well-made movie, which is why I keep revisiting it, but I recognize that not everybody is in the right place to hear stories about gaslighting, so please, take care of yourself, and skip this episode if you think it’s going to cause you distress.

That being said, I truly have no idea why “gaslighting” suddenly became a popular buzzword in the last 10 years or so, or how it has evolved to be misapplied to any form of lying. I’ve even heard people talk about how someone is “gaslighting” them when they merely disagree about something. So despite how incredibly dark and disturbing this movie is, I really think everyone should watch it, if for no other reason than to learn how to use the term correctly. But there’s obviously a lot more to it than that, which I will get into. But first, my traditional plot summary:

When her aunt and guardian, a famous opera star, is murdered in their London home, young Paula Alquist (Ingrid Bergman) is sent to Italy to train as a singer. Ten years later, she is swept off her feet by her new accompanist, Gregory Anton (Charles Boyer), and after knowing each other only two weeks, they get married. Though she is still haunted by her aunt’s unsolved murder, upon hearing that Gregory has always wanted to live in London, Paula suggests that they move into her old house. As they settle in, Gregory’s behavior gradually changes, and Paula begins to feel like she is losing her mind.

The main thing I remember about the first time I watched this movie was thinking it wasn’t a very good mystery, since it’s pretty obvious fairly early on who the bad guy is. But by the end it became clear that it was never meant to be a mystery, but rather a map of red flags to watch out for, as well as a surprisingly sympathetic portrayal of how easy it can be to ignore them until it’s too late. Or, I guess I should say, almost too late, since, spoiler alert: the movie does have a mostly happy ending. Anyway, I had never seen a movie like this before and it fascinated me. I watched it twice in 2003, once in 2004, once in 2006, once in 2007, twice in 2008, three times in 2012, once in 2013, once in 2014, twice in 2015, twice in 2016, once in 2017, once in 2018, once in 2020, twice in 2021, and once in 2022. I also saw the 1940 version once in 2006. I don’t remember much about it other than I thought it was pretty good, but the remake was better. And a big part of that is because of the cast of the remake. One of my 2015 views of the remake was part of my watching through Best Actress winners project because Ingrid Bergman won the first of her three Oscars for this film. Apparently at the time I ranked this performance as the 7th best to win that award, and now if anything I feel like that was too low. The more I rewatch this movie, the more impressed I am by what a difficult job she had and how thoroughly she crushed it.

Paula is an incredibly complex character who undergoes a significant emotional journey. At the beginning, though she’s definitely still haunted by the trauma of her youth, she’s mostly happy and hopeful and vivacious. And then all of that slowly dims as Gregory’s manipulations escalate, almost as if she is a gas light that he’s turning down. That’s not why the movie is called Gaslight, though; it’s called that because one of the early signs that something sketchy is going on is when Paula starts to notice lights dimming as if someone turned a new light on somewhere else in the house, but nobody else seems to notice this and she can’t find a good explanation for it. But watching Paula go from a lively, lovestruck newlywed to basically a zombie struggling to find a shred of reality she can trust also feels like watching a gas light flame go down. And it would have been so easy to either overdo or undersell this descent into confusion, but Ingrid Bergman perfectly balances every moment. You can see Paula starting to doubt herself more and more as her actions and words become more hesitant and her looks become more vague, until she begins to resign herself to the fact that Gregory must be right, she must be insane, there’s nothing more she can do. It’s so painful and heartbreaking that I desperately want to reach through the screen and comfort her and tell her what’s really going on. And then, just when I almost can’t stand it anymore, Joseph Cotten shows up to do that for me. He plays Inspector Brian Cameron of Scotland Yard, a childhood fan of Paula’s aunt who happens to see Paula one of the few times she’s out with Gregory in London, which leads him to reopen the cold case of her aunt’s murder and figure out what’s going on just in time to help Paula. The implication that Paula needs a man to rescue her is one thing I don’t love about this movie, but at the same time I think it’s important to acknowledge that Gregory was so effective at – for lack of a better term – gaslighting her that she could not have escaped that situation without help.

Not to take any of the credit away from Bergman for her stellar performance, but I do think it helped that George Cukor was the director. Longtime listeners may recognize his name from Holiday, which was number 33 on this list, and Adam’s Rib, which was number 27, both of which have significantly lighter tones. Gaslight feels much more like an Alfred Hitchcock picture than a George Cukor one. Cukor apparently didn’t like being referred to as a “woman’s director,” but he had a reputation for his ability to coax great performances out of actresses, and this is certainly no exception. In order to help Bergman keep track of Paula’s gradual descent toward madness while shooting out of order, Cukor would tell her the whole plot up to the scenes they were filming each day, which Bergman initially resented, but then he stopped doing it for a few days and she realized how helpful it had been, and they went back to doing it that way. I do think Ingrid Bergman would have been great in this role regardless of who the director was, but George Cukor helped elevate her to the best she could possibly be.

While Bergman’s performance is far and away my favorite aspect of this movie, the rest of the cast is also phenomenal, albeit rather small. It definitely has that based-on-a-play feel of limited locations and few characters, although that also works very well with the story. Part of Gregory’s strategy is to cut Paula off from the rest of the world so she won’t have a safety net. Consequently, for most of the film she only interacts with him and their two servants: the kind but mostly-deaf cook, Elizabeth, played by Barbara Everest, and the saucy, flirtatious maid, Nancy, played by none other than 18-year-old Angela Lansbury in her film debut, both of whom are absolutely perfect in their roles. I love Everest’s delivery of “I see just how it is” when Gregory is trying to keep Elizabeth on his side without realizing that she’s always been firmly on Paula’s. And Lansbury embodies the exact attitude required for Nancy: flirtatious toward Gregory, disdainful toward Paula, totally oblivious to how she’s being manipulated until the end – all conveyed with every look she gives and line she speaks as if she’s a veteran actor. It comes as absolutely no surprise that she went on to have such a long and successful career, with this as her first screen performance. She was even nominated for an Oscar! And then there’s the neighbor Miss Thwaites, played by Dame May Whitty, who adds some much-needed levity with her “diggy biscuits” and morbid curiosity about the house in her square where there was a “real murder!” Joseph Cotten’s role is honestly pretty bland – kind of the film noir version of a classic Disney prince, in a way – but he makes the most of it. And then there’s Charles Boyer, giving one of the best creepy villain performances I’ve ever seen, which was also Oscar-nominated. He starts out just sort of vaguely unsettling, raising one or two red flags right off the bat, but like, he could still be okay, and then by the end he is full-on terrifying. He has this amazing stone-faced look that makes your blood run cold. There’s this one moment in particular, kind of toward the middle, when Miss Thwaites and Inspector Cameron (posing as her nephew) have tried to visit them, and Gregory tells Nancy to send them away. Paula wanted to let them in but he freaked out so she backed down, and then after Nancy leaves she again says she wanted to see them, and he’s like, “Oh, why didn’t you say so?” and it makes me want to scream. Then he tells her she didn’t have time to see them because they’re going out to the theater, and Paula’s like, “I didn’t know that…or did I forget?” and Gregory, facing the camera with his back to her, opens his mouth to respond, and then stops and waits for her to dwell on that for a few more seconds before he tells her that no, this is a surprise, and both his face and her face are so perfect there, I love it and hate it so much. Like, I love it from a “this movie is so well acted” perspective, and I hate it from a “this character is a horrible human being” perspective. And then Paula gets overly happy, since she’s been trapped in the house for so long that him letting her go out seems like a wonderful gift. But then he “notices” that a picture is missing from the wall, and makes her think she hid it, and they end up not going out because she’s “too unwell.”

That’s the main way he manipulates her: by moving things and making it look like she took them. What’s particularly interesting about the way the movie shows this is we never actually see Gregory taking any of the things, but it is nevertheless clear that he has been. But he is so insistent that she’s doing it that we can easily believe that Paula wouldn’t suspect him, or that if she did, she would have significant doubts. And even if she did figure it out, it’s not like there’s anything she can do about it. She’s in London for the first time in a decade, she doesn’t know anyone, she doesn’t have anywhere to go, and she’s not sure she can trust her own mind. And I think it’s so important that the movie at no point faults her for ending up in that situation or for not being able to leave. The movie also gives no indication that Gregory is physically harming Paula, but leaves the audience in no doubt that he is an abusive husband. And I feel like the messages that abuse doesn’t have to be physical and that it’s never the victim’s fault are still too rare in media today, let alone nearly 80 years ago. I feel like back then most unhealthy relationships in movies were in the His Girl Friday vein of “they’re kind of both abusing each other so it’s fine” or would find other ways for excusing or explaining the abusive behavior, like “the abuser was drunk” or “the victim was asking for it” or what have you. And if they weren’t like that, the victim usually ended up dead. In Gaslight, Gregory has no excuse. I mean, he does have a reason, but it’s a terrible reason that in no way justifies his actions. And Paula not only survives, but also gets an incredibly satisfying confrontation with Gregory after Brian and another policeman have tied him up. When the police leave them alone together, Gregory pleads with her to get a knife and cut him free, and for a moment you think she’s actually going to help him, but she gets her revenge by pretending she can’t find the knife and saying she’s too insane to help him, forcing him to admit that he has lied to her and she isn’t actually mad. And she wraps up her great payback with: “If I were not mad, I could have helped you. Whatever you had done, I could have pitied and protected you. But because I am mad, I hate you. Because I am mad, I have betrayed you. And because I'm mad, I'm rejoicing in my heart, without a shred of pity, without a shred of regret, watching you go with glory in my heart!” So she turns his gaslighting around on him, and it’s amazing. Although I must admit that right after that when she cries, “Mr. Cameron! Take this man away!” is the one part when I feel like Ingrid Bergman overdoes it just a little bit and gets too melodramatic, but after everything Paula has been through, she deserves as many melodramatic moments as she wants.

I would prefer it if the movie didn’t conclude with the implication that Paula is going to end up romantically involved with Brian, but again, she deserves all the happiness she can get, and if that’s what’s going to make her happy, I’m all for it. And I guess we can claim Miss Thwaites as aroace representation, since she seems to be an old maid with no interest in romance. This movie also speaks to my aromanticism and asexuality in a different, unique way. Because to a certain extent, being aroace in an allonormative, amatonormative society kind of feels like the entire world is gaslighting you. Of course, I don’t mean to imply that my experiences have been anywhere near as horrendous as someone like Paula’s – having your reality cruelly and intentionally twisted by a partner is on an entirely different level from not quite fitting in with the dominant culture’s concept of reality. Still, being constantly bombarded with the message that all mature humans frequently experience sexual and romantic attraction, and that a universal top life goal is to find a partner you’re attracted to that way, when you don’t feel those attractions and don’t desire that kind of partner, is incredibly confusing and disorienting. Once you become an adult, or even a teenager, people start giving you knowing looks when they hear you’ve been hanging out with a friend one-on-one, especially if that friend happens to be of the opposite sex. And you don’t think you like any of your friends “that way” but you also don’t really know what liking someone “that way” feels like so you start to think maybe you don’t know your own feelings. And if you’re lucky, your brain subconsciously decides that you do have crushes like a normal person, they’re just always on movie stars, most of whom are dead, which you realize is weird, but it’s an understandable kind of weird. Nobody believes you when you say you don’t have a crush on anybody, but if you show them a picture of Cary Grant and say, “I have a crush on him,” that makes sense to them. And so you end up becoming convinced that you’re experiencing types of attraction that you’re not, to the point that when you first hear about asexuality you don’t even consider the possibility that it could describe you. And of course, when I say “you” I mean “me”; I can’t speak for all aroaces, although I do think most of us experience some form of that confusion before we figure out that our identity exists. I feel like there’s a relatively widespread perception that aromantic and/or asexual people are just single allos who want to feel special by giving themselves a label, but for me, the opposite is true. Using the aroace label makes me feel less special, because now I know there are other people out there like me, after spending so much time trying to play along with the attraction I thought I was supposed to be feeling. It’s honestly been kind of difficult to unlearn this, to teach myself how to even recognize, let alone trust, what I’m actually feeling versus the socially acceptable way to be feeling about other people.

It’s weird because, looking back, it’s so obvious to me that I was faking crushes, that I was just parroting things I’d heard when I talked about them, that I was just smiling and nodding when people would say things like, “Isn’t that person hot?” But at the time, I absolutely could not admit that, even to myself, because I felt like, in order to be human, I must be experiencing what I’d been led to believe were universal human emotions that went along with sexual and romantic attraction. Back in 2013 I blogged about all the movies I’d seen at least 10 times in 10 years, and I just re-read my post about Gaslight, in which I apparently wrote that I found Joseph Cotten attractive in this movie. I don’t remember thinking or writing that, but I’m sure if I’d been asked to elaborate, I would have said I thought he was hot or whatever, even though I absolutely did not, I just thought I was supposed to. I wasn’t consciously lying; I had become convinced that I felt things I didn’t. Although, now that I think about it, maybe I really was attracted to him, not sexually or romantically, but in terms of the way his character functions in the story. I desperately needed someone to show up and tell me that the problem wasn’t with my mind and provide me with some key information I was missing that would explain what was going on, just like Brian does for Paula. Again, her experience was much more horrifying than mine, but learning that some people are aromantic and asexual, that not feeling those kinds of attraction is perfectly normal for those people, was almost as revelatory to me as learning that her husband killed her aunt and was trying to drive her mad was to Paula. Maybe it sounds like I’m the one being melodramatic now, but I don’t know how else to explain how messed up it is to spend decades convincing yourself and everyone else that you’re feeling things you’re not, and what a relief it is to learn that you were right all along and can finally take the mask off. And that’s why I’ve been focusing so much on looking at movies from an aromantic and asexual perspective on this podcast. Because I don’t want anyone else to go through all that. I want everyone to know that amatonormativity and allonormativity are lies, both because I want people on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrums to understand themselves sooner than I understood myself, and because I want alloromantic, allosexual people to know that not everyone is like them. I don’t blame the allo people I was surrounded with for perpetuating these norms because they didn’t know better. I know they weren’t really trying to gaslight me. But I would like to live in a society where most people do know better.

Anyway, I appreciate this movie for understanding me in ways that I couldn’t articulate until recently. But that’s far from the only reason it’s this high on my list. Again, I truly cannot overemphasize how phenomenal the acting is. Ingrid Bergman was always wonderful, but she took it to a whole other level here, and the rest of the cast were similarly at the top of their game. I never get tired of watching them act together, particularly when I’m in the mood for something a little darker. Like the other Ingrid Bergman movie I talked about, Notorious, I’m not sure whether Gaslight “counts” as film noir, because it has some of the typical noir tropes but lacks other important ones. But from a lighting and cinematography perspective, it definitely feels like a noir, so if you enjoy that style, you’ll probably appreciate this movie. It was nominated for a total of seven Oscars, including Best Picture, Screenplay, and Black-and-White Cinematography, in addition to the three acting nominations I mentioned earlier for Bergman, Boyer, and Lansbury. The only Oscar it won besides Best Actress was for Art Direction, which is something I don’t generally pay a ton of attention to, but the set is particularly important in Gaslight. The house almost functions as a character: it’s Gregory’s accomplice in torturing Paula, and the increasingly cluttered look of the rooms helps emphasize the way it’s trapping her. And, of course, there are the real, vintage gasoliers that give the movie its title and add greatly to its mood. So both of this movie’s Oscars were thoroughly deserved.

Thank you for listening to me discuss another of my most frequently rewatched films. This wraps up the 4-way tie of movies I saw 22 times from 2003 through 2022. I wonder how many other people out there have watched Beauty and the Beast, A Mighty Wind, His Girl Friday, and Gaslight the same number of times in the last 20 years. Anyway, I didn’t watch any movies exactly 23 times, so next up is the only one I watched 24 times, which is also one that I have a LOT of feelings and personal stories about, so stay tuned for what I’m sure will be a particularly long and rambling episode that I hope will be fun to listen to. As always, I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “I don’t need to act things out in order to write them. I have what we like to call an ‘imagination.’ Have you ever heard of that? Oh, no no no no no, please tell us more about the old man… and the boat.”

#gaslight #ingrid bergman #charles boyer #george cukor #angela lansbury #the rewatch rewind

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