#this ended up way longer than i thought it would
Text
DAY-SHIFT. (p. sh)
― part one here!
After finding out that your boss has seen, heard, and instructed you through some pleasurable nights while parading around as a faceless cam-boy, you decide that your best course of action is to: call out sick. use vacation days. avoid Park Sunghoon at all costs. Unfortunately, ten days doesn’t appear to be nearly enough time to erase what’s happened, and Sunghoon refuses to be avoided.
or the one where sunghoon pretends that he isn’t an anxious mess over accidentally exposing himself and you just so happen to have a lot of fucking empathy.
minors dni
PAIRING ― boss / cam boy!sunghoon x afab reader
WORDCOUNT― 14.5k
CONTENT― forbidden office romance kind of, smidge of angst if ur sensitive, mentions of predatory behavior from sunghoon, he is more desperate than he is dominant, just the way we like it.
NOTE ― bro im so sorry this took way too long to write, it also is way longer than it's supposed to be. but yknow. i had to do him right lmfao. NOT PROOF READ.
nsfw tags under cut
nsfw tags― perverted sunghoon, heavy petting, making out, foreplay on a chair lol, desk sex, very intimate shit ok? ok., pussy eating, jerking off, finger fucking, fingers-in-mouth antics, gagging, implications of something more than just an office fling, unprotected sex, he fills you UP!!! YIPEE!!!
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Avoidance.
That is the only way you know out of any awkward or unsavory situation. Avoid, avoid, avoid. Find a new job, change your name, dye your hair– question all of your life choices up to this point.
It’s the fact that never in your life have you had an interest in live sex cams. It was always just a porn video or a nice erotic novel for you. Sometimes curiosity gets the best of you though, like it does all people, and it’s not like you thought anyone would ever know who you are or catch you in the act of feeding into your curiosities.
The one time you ever navigated to the live camera feed on your favorite porn site did shift your sexual appetite a little bit. A whole new world of seeing exactly what you want without needing to search for far too long for that perfect video…for a cost, of course.
You made good money already, and it’s not like you weren’t going for that promotion at the time either. You thought, why not? Why not pay a pretty, faceless man for some anonymous jerking off and move on with your life?
The one time you found something to satiate the late night body-cravings, the point of pleasure ended up being…your boss?
Small world? Miniscule, fucking tiny little world.
For days you wondered if Sunghoon’s text to you was just a coincidence. After all, the faceless man on screen didn’t say a word to you after you uttered the name of your boss. Even if he directly said your name. Even if Park Sunghoon uttered your false name at work.
Consistent back and forth in your head. From, “No, how could that even be possible? No way is it him.” to “but Mr.Park started being weird after the first call, he used both names, he played off of the boss/employee dynamic.”
You’re going crazy as you send another email to your department, apologizing for taking so many days off but not truly apologetic. It’s been ten days now and Sunghoon has yet to text you again.
That little “Can we talk?” can be heard in your head in his voice. Only now recognizing how clear and unique it truly is when he does speak. You try not to realize how similar the cam-boy sounded to him. Only connecting the dots when they force you to do it, really. You still try to convince yourself that the text was about firing you, given his actions at work that very same day.
Maybe he was avoiding you because he felt awful about needing to fire you?
Maybe he sent that text message to start the process of pushing you out?
After all, it’s still very difficult to imagine Park Sunghoon having a cock that nice, or cum in that amount. Given, it’s not like you ever thought about him jerking off or anything, it’s just–
You don’t fucking know. Your brain is a mess of shaking anxiety and echoes of sexual frustrations and moans.
You were refunded your money. He texted after the session. He said your name. It’s him, isn’t it?
You refuse to fucking find out.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
From:...[ [email protected] ]
CC:...[ [email protected] ]
BCC:...
Subject: Time off Request: Rejected. Insufficient PTO.
[insert your name here],
The time you have requested from the 27th to the 3rd has been rejected due to insufficient hours. As of last Thursday, you are no longer meeting the minimum hour requirement as a full-time employee. Your PTO is at 0 hours and 00 minutes and you now have three unexcused absences. Please return tomorrow with a signed order or note that exempts you from work. If you move forward without returning to the building, this will be grounds for termination. Please review the company handbook and job abandonment guidelines.
Additionally, COO Lee, myself, and Division manager Park will be scheduling a meeting with you in the upcoming days, failure to appear will result in immediate termination.
Thank you,
HR
Well, fuck. You knew the time to avoid this would dry up, and this ten day hideaway to fake your death didn’t quite pan out.
Devastating, truly, that you have to walk through those doors with the same legs your boss may or may not have seen spread open for him through a grainy webcam image. Horrifying, that you have to look him in the eye and explain that you really were sick for the past ten days, that you definitely were not hiding the shame of your sexual desires.
The worst part about all of this? Not just the embarrassment but the fact that…you liked it. On that night, had he admitted it was him, you may not have ended the call yourself. It felt like it added some danger to your arousal at the time. Which, naturally, makes you more embarrassed now. Mostly because, at worst if that was Mr.Park, it was predatory. At best though? You very well may have consented.
But the what ifs don’t matter now. The only thing that matters is forcing yourself through the awkwardness of being at work after avoiding it for so long already.
Fortunately for you though, work is…weirdly normal. In fact, no one acts like you’ve missed ten days at all. You are greeted by the usual co-workers, you sit down at your desk and can log in as usual, and there are no warning emails or invitations for what would be considered a meeting of termination either.
The day goes by just fine, suspiciously so. Sunghoon, though you’re avoiding him at the moment, doesn’t appear to be too out of character either. At one point, you were forced to drop corrected paper work off in his office, and he gave you the same usual and small “Thank you” before you stepped out with your legs threatening to buckle.
Then again, his “casual” appreciation could just be your mind playing positive little tricks on you. Maybe it wasn’t casual at all. Maybe that little uncharacteristic breath afterwards isn’t just in your head. You didn’t make eye contact with him during that brief moment, and you did rush out quite quickly so you wouldn’t really know. However, in the deepest part of your brain his voice really does match the one who said all those dirty things to you.
Maybe you’re still overreacting.
Or maybe you dreamed all of this up.
You choose to remain unaware of the awkwardness around you solely because everything else is normal. Deep, deep down, you know. But you’re not giving that truth a chance to thrive or run your brain anymore.
And just as the day comes to an end, you’re actually feeling better. Anxiety is draining out of you, fear and embarrassment sit dormant in some hidden part of your brain over the small possibility of virtually fucking your boss. It seems you’ve let this work day clear up all of that fear in your head.
You were wrong, right? It wasn’t him, right? He’d have tried to defend himself by now. What boss wouldn’t be absolutely terrified that you’d report him, anyway? After all of that?
You actually feel a little dumb at the possibility of Mr. Park ever wanting you sexually, or ever even wanting to speak to you in that way. Asking to see your pussy? Telling you how to touch it? No, that’s definitely not him. Couldn’t be him.
And your eyes do stray after a little while. Just to steal glimpses into his office, feeling relieved and weightless now that it appears your fears are over and finally understood. Doesn’t change the fact that now when you look at him, you might be wildly fucking attracted to him. Because fuck, imagine if that was him. You’re kind of forced to put his image to the faceless cam-boy now, not that you want to do that or anything. It just…you can’t really blame yourself for it.
You lend yourself a little laugh. As happy as you are that you’re able to convince yourself that it’s not Sunghoon’s cock you’ve yearned for, you really wouldn’t mind sleeping with someone as handsome as him.
Crazy how the lack of anxiety lets you think those types of things though, isn’t it? When your brain is no longer fogged by fear or embarrassment, it’s like the clarity can sometimes be scarier simply because you don’t know how true certain statements are. Even through all of that fear, maybe a part of you wished it was him.
Even with the weight on your shoulders lifted, in hindsight, maybe you’re even a little disappointed that it wasn’t.
And, just as you’re preparing to clock out and head home with a big secret crush and a little pep in your step, you hear the familiar notification of an email. No problem, probably just a daily report or something.
From:...[ [email protected] ]
CC:...
BCC:...
Subject: Mandatory Advising
[insert your name here],
Please come to my office before you leave for the day to discuss your conduct as of late.
Thank you,
Park Sunghoon
Division Manager
000-000-0000 ext. 000
Well, double fuck. To think everything was fine despite you being well aware of that shit HR said to you previously?
You barely recognize how the email is sent directly to you from Mr. Park, not including HR or COO Lee. In fact, the anxiety wells up inside of you so quickly that you nearly have to dry heave a few times before taking a deep breath.
In your head, it’s not even about the web-cam session with a faceless man anymore. Your anxiety about that died the moment you successfully lied to yourself enough, now you’re genuinely just afraid you’ll lose your job or that beloved promotion you worked so hard to be qualified for. You just had to let your anxiety run your life for the past ten days, didn’t you? After all, skipping work to such an extent? Everyone had to have known that it was a lie eventually.
So, you stand to your feet, brush off your thighs, and attempt to keep your heart from pounding as you make your way to Mr. Park’s office expecting to see HR, COO Lee, and a severance package on the desk waiting for your signature.
Instead, you walk in to just find your boss. He’s looking at you as he normally would, eyes focused on his screen before glancing at you for a moment and nodding his head to one of the chairs in front of his desk.
“Mr. Park–” You start, nearly wincing at the way you say it because, well, you haven’t said it since the night you had your pussy out on display. It’s only natural to physically react, right?
“One moment.” He says in a small voice, clicking a few times with the mouse as you watch the monitor light shine across his cheeks with each window he minimizes.
It’s silent for a few moments as you awkwardly look around an office you’ve been in countless times. His lights are always dimmed, the temperature is always comfortable. You’re gonna miss this office, though it’s not your own. It was a nice, brief escape before all of this if you’re being honest.
“How was work for you today?” He turns his attention to you, finally adjusting and rolling his chair to center himself in front of you behind his desk
You pause at the question, unintentionally tilting your head at it like a puppy. “Good? Normal, I guess?”
You watch as he nods with a tight-lipped expression, eyes falling to his desk as he takes in a deep and disappointed sounding breath.
“Well, that’s one of us.” He huffs out, causing you to feel a bit confused with his tone. Is he being…passive aggressive? And when he snaps his eyes from his desk straight to your own confused gaze, you can almost sense a bit of something else in them compared to usual.
Not anger. Not disappointment.
He looks worried.
“Eleven days–” Sunghoon drones on with an exhausted tone, cutting himself off with another breath that shows you were right to assume his current displayed emotion. “You have ignored my text messages for eleven days.”
You’re shocked by that because as far as you’re concerned, he has not texted you.
“What are you–” You furrow your brows at him, frantically pulling out your phone. “You haven’t texted me. See? The last one I got was–” You take a second as you pull up his texts and remember the exact time he texted you. So late into the night, right after…that. Naturally, you silence yourself, afraid to say it out loud.
“On the contrary,” Sunghoon denies your proof. “I texted from my personal phone.”
You hesitate again, looking down and noting the notifications under the tab of “message requests.” To be fucking fair though, you didn’t even know that existed so you never really paid attention to it. Especially as you practically avoided your phone out of fear that he’d be texting you again.
You were thankful he didn’t. That comforted you. Now though? Your comfort is replaced yet again with anxiety because, well, he texted you consistently after that night.
“Oh–” You say quietly, seeing a glimpse of “Please, let me call y–” in one of the messages.
“I didn’t see those.” Quickly, you turn your screen off and shove your phone back into your pocket, nervously clasping your hands in front of you and looking to the floor.
“I will reiterate then.”
You can hear the leather on his chair squeak against his expensive suit when he leans forward, both hands splayed out on his desk in a wide and intimidating stance in front of you.
“Wait–” You look around the office now. “If you’re going to fire me– shouldn’t the others be here too?”
Sunghoon pulls back at that, narrowing his eyes before lending a very small and even more nervous chuckle.
“I’m not firing you. I told them I’d take care of your sudden and, quite frankly, unhelpful vacation.”
You look to the floor again, feeling scolded for your actions but having a genuine reason. If Sunghoon truly is aware of that reason for your absence, he understands too, right?
“I have been beyond inappropriate with you.” He blurts now, that same leather squeaking as he leans back again and looks away from you the moment you snap your head up. “I have reason to believe you’ve not yet reported me, and I’d like to ask for the opportunity to explain myself before you do.”
You feel a chill wash over your whole body, cold sweat peaking right at your temples as you stare forward. He’s being so professional about this, and that lie you’ve convinced yourself of is showing it’s face as just that, a fucking lie.
So this is it?
So there it is? A semi-admittance that it was him? That little feeling in the back of your head that wishes it was diminishes within an instant. In fact, you narrow your eyes at him, your nose crinkles, and you feel frustration bubble up in your gut.
“So you admit that it was you?” You ask, needing a full confirmation.
“Yes.” Sunghoon sighs, leaning back somehow further, creating as much distance from you as possible before unintentionally rolling his eyes. Mostly due to the fact that he was stupid enough to let this happen, mostly to shame himself. “What I did was inappropriate and unacceptable. I didn’t intend for this to ever happen.”
Now you feel a bit…pissed off.
Like? Oh, he didn’t intend for this to happen? What? You mean he didn’t intend to let you fucking find out! Well, as good as he is at playing the part of a slutty man on the internet, he’s not so good at acting in real life, now is he? Saying your false fucking name at work, saying your real name with his cock out?
What in the fuck are you supposed to do about this? Why is he giving you the ability to report him? He’s the one with the power here. He could fire you now and bury the information if he so pleased. After all, He’s besties with COO Lee, right? That bitch in HR has an obsession with him too. Hell, everyone here loves the guy.
You’re just a bottom of the barrel employee trying to work your way up. If you got him fired, surely he’d make damn sure you never work for a decent company like this one again. Additionally, you don’t even want to report him.
Yeah, it was fucking weird that he just knew it was you and kept going. Super strange that he had to have known after the first call, only to ask to see you in the second one. Why does that turn you on in the midst of this anxiety induced spiral? Why the fuck is the idea of Park Sunghoon apologizing for masturbating to and for you so alluring?!
Sure, maybe it’s kind of nice knowing that someone of his status would ever find an interest in you, but it doesn’t quite wash the frustration away. You have every right to question, and every right to be pissed off about it.
Still, in this quiet room, Sunghoon is stoic and all you can think about when you look at him is the way he said “if I were your boss i’d–” and the way he fucked his palm while saying it, implying he wanted it to be you while simultaneously knowing it was you watching.
Since fucking when did Mr. Park ever show a sexual interest in you? And if he did, why the fuck couldn’t he have just been normal about it?
“That was really fucked up, you know that?” You argue immediately, voice shaking at the speed of which your emotions shift. Your resolve isn’t quite as clear as it probably should be. Perhaps you should report him, or maybe you already should have. But, it’s not like you accepted the truth until he demanded it of you.
You would have let it slide. Both of you could have pretended it never happened. You could’ve gone home and continued working, never paying a cam-boy again had Sunghoon not called you into this stupid, comfortable ass office.
“In my defense, I was just doing my job. Though it’s my own fault for not telling you, my job here was at risk if you had found out.”
“You made me talk about you.” You roll your eyes at him now, gaining the power and control over the conversation. “And you thought I wouldn’t find out?! What? Did that get you off or something?”
“I–” Sunghoon stops himself from answering that question truthfully. He quickly tries to explain away the stutter instead. Never has he been scolded by an employee, but you’re well within your rights to do so. “I wasn’t in my right mind. I never get called by name during these sessions and I apologize for having you say it.”
“And you want me to report you?” You raise a brow at him. “Want me to just storm right into HR and tell her how you’re a fucking pervert? Want me to tell her how you told me to repeat your name? To thank you for it? Is that really what you want?”
Are you enjoying yourself a little too much? Maybe.
Sunghoon doesn’t respond though, instead, he runs his hand through his hair and sighs from the stress welling up inside of him. He can only act calm and collected for so long, and it’s been eleven days already. He hates how hearing you say those words goes straight to his cock at a time like this, he hates even more how all of this could have been avoided if he had simply declined your second call.
But you’re not wrong. He is a pervert, and he did tell you to thank him for the pleasure you were getting from his voice and half image alone. At the time, he was so turned on he really just couldn’t help himself. You fed his sexual appetite unknowingly and now this is the consequence of his action. Being a known pervert.
Is it what he wants though? To be reported? Humiliated?
Fuck.
Arguably, just having you humiliate him like this is enough. Drives him crazy, really. Whether it be from arousal or guilt, or both.
And for the first time since you started working here, you see him for what he truly is. A strong man to an extent, but he’s crumbling under his own mistake and it makes you wonder just how far he would’ve taken it had you not found out.
“And what if I didn’t realize who I was fucking myself for?” You glare. “Would you have asked for more? Avoided me here even more? Would you have declined my application for the assistant position because you can’t come to terms with the fact that you’re a fucking pervert?!”
Sunghoon raises his hands in defense.
“Please–” His voice sounds panicked. “Please, keep your voice down.”
“Answer the question, then. Just fucking own it at this point.” You throw your arms up now, letting them fall back down in a slap to your thighs. “Would you have made my work-life miserable just so you could watch me get off to you? Knowing the whole time? Would you have kept on with that boss slash employee shit just so it felt more real for you?”
Staring forward at him, you watch him accept that everything you’re saying is likely exactly what would have happened. Maybe he really will try to own it. Which would be… a good thing if you decide to let your own resolve falter.
So fucking secretive, huh? An actual, real life degenerate? And it’s Sunghoon of all people?
“Maybe…” Sunghoon trails off, making himself seem much smaller than he usually is on a day-to-day basis. “I mean, No–I,”
Oh, he’s actually stuttering.
“And you want me to tell on you? You want me to fuck your life up?” You raise a brow. “As if I didn’t pay you to do it?”
In all honesty, aside from the anxiety and awkwardness, and despite never once thinking of Sunghoon too sexually, things have changed. Drastically. Especially after being confronted with this situation and he’s not intimidating you or using his power to control you. No, he’s giving you the power and quite frankly, you don’t know what to do with it.
Are you basking in it? Absolutely. Is it nice to see him cower in front of you? In that big plush chair that costs more than your monthly income? Hell yeah.
But goddamn, had he approached you before all of this and asked for a date, or showed interest, you would have gladly partaken in a secret romance with him. He’s intelligent, attractive, clean, and has money. It’s not like you ever expected the guy to go home and fuck himself on camera.
You never thought he was the type to be so lonely either. Or so desperate, judging by how he acted during those two sessions. Arguably, you always wondered why there was never a ring on those pristine fingers.
And while you were definitely the victim in this situation, you feel more embarrassed than you do violated. Many nights you thought of how he spoke, how he said how badly he wanted you. It’s embarrassing because you’re starting to love the idea of who those words really came from. The Park Sunghoon, so untouchable in the business world. So untouchable by women and men solely because he appears to be too expensive, too pristine.
But you…
You’ve seen him dirty.
Part of you wishes you didn’t pay to be humiliated like this. The rest of you wishes you didn’t fucking like it as much as you do.
“It’s only fair.” Sunghoon explains with a short breath. “I feel awful for what I’ve done, and I should have told you the moment I recognized her as, well–” He pauses with a pained face, as if he hates hearing himself say it. “You.”
“Then, why didn’t you?” You raise your brow again, nearly forgetting you’re at work, solely focused on the conversation at hand and feeling relieved at the way it’s going.
Sunghoon shifts in discomfort, looking away from you.
“Do you want honesty?” He asks in a quiet voice, leaning forward on his desk but refusing eye contact. He keeps his gaze lowered the entire time, his voice small and shaky.
There’s still people in the office, though his door is closed and it’s unlikely he can be heard.
You nod to him with an even smaller “Go on then.”
“I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t you.” He says, shifting his hands and picking at his cuticles.
Man, he really knows how to act sorry, doesn’t he?
“I avoided you after that first call, solely because I think I wanted her to be you. Which is…incredibly inappropriate.”
He looks up at you now, searching for a reaction and only seeing you nod at him. His eyes shift right back down as he continues.
“My avoiding you led you to– um– more services.” He explains quieter, admitting in full the situation he’s allowed to take place, seeming more and more insecure with his words than he ever has before. “I can admit that I have fantasies and needs.”
Silence.
“After that first call, I couldn’t help but be entirely attracted to you. The idea of–”
You suddenly find yourself thinking back to all of those things he said to you again, parading as if he wasn’t your boss, telling you what he'd do if he were. He seems to have accidentally found a sexual interest in the dynamic…and he fucking dragged you into it with him.
“Mr. Par– Sunghoon.” You cut him off, actually feeling a bit of pity now at his admittance.
His words make you feel like maybe he’s not entirely just a pervert who was intending to make you get off to him from the start. If anything, he probably felt uncomfortable at first knowing who was on the other end of the call. It’s the fact that his real life job was at risk if you found out, and still he indulged despite that. He accepted that second call, he asked for more, he acted like he really does want you.
To the extent that losing his job was in the front of his mind and he still did it. He ignored the danger of it and prioritized getting off…with you. You find yourself wondering if this would have happened to any other employee under him if they happened to stumble across his stream too.
Part of you wants to pretend he wouldn’t, because the idea that all of this is happening solely because it was you? It hits a little too hard, a little too deep.
“Okay, okay. Stop,” You say, keeping your eyes on him and willing him to look up at you. “You don’t have to keep explaining, I get it.”
“No.” He does meet your eye this time, stopping your brain of all thoughts at how differently you see him now versus all the times before. “I do.”
He’s so honest. Probably too honest for his own good. Maybe that’s why he’s so good at his job, maybe that’s why everyone loves him. Maybe a bit of lying would help him in this situation if it were anyone else, but for you?
You kind of enjoy the way he’s telling the truth. Admitting that he was desperate, apologizing for wanting you even if just for a brief moment.
“I asked you to turn on your camera for selfish reasons. I asked you to say my name, then I made the mistake of exposing myself because I–” He hesitates, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply through his nose. “I struggled to pretend it wasn’t me, and that she wasn’t you. I very well knew what I was doing, and at the time, I wished that you did too.”
More silence as you stare at him, stunned, slightly in awe.
“But I knew you wouldn’t have reciprocated. What I’ve done is criminal, and I am encouraging you to report me for it if that’s what you deem necessary.”
“And if I don’t?” You don’t leave any more room for silence now, feeling desired and validated.
You can’t pretend that you’re mad, though you were previously. You simply can’t pretend that, now at least, you wouldn’t reciprocate. If anything, you’re more interested now than you think you ever would have been before.
“We can forget any of this ever happened. I’ll stop streaming and accepting private calls, and we can hopefully move forward without any ill-feelings of one another.” He blinks at you, near pleading with his eyes. “I’ll push your application through– That is, if you still want the position.”
Sunghoon does wince at the bribe, considering he’s never done such a thing let alone commit acts of sexual harassment, or perhaps even non consensual foreplay with someone. It really really wasn’t entirely intentional, and he’s disgusted with himself. If you report him, he’d take the hit to his reputation and career, but if you don’t…what then?
Ill-feelings, he says? If anything, you might feel more ill parading around like you wouldn’t want him to do all of those things he said previously, with free-will to say as he pleased without the fear of you knowing who the words were coming from.
“Can you please stop with the professional talk?” You hum out with an exhausted eye roll. “I don’t want the promotion if you’re just offering it so I don’t rat you out.” You narrow your eyes now and lean yourself forward. “You hope to forget this ever happened? Really?”
Carefully, the two of you watch each other for a while longer. Sunghoon looking like he’s about to catch himself on fire, and you, looking annoyed and amused. Still, the thick air in the room starts to feel suffocating under the pressure of the “issue” at hand as you scold him further.
“What you did was predatory. But– I don’t want to ruin your life over this.”
You watch as Sunghoon listens, his posture opening up a bit more as you speak, showing that he’s being relieved of his stress through your words alone.
“Are you trying to hold a promotion over my head over this?”
Before he gets the chance to curl in on himself again, you answer for him.
“Maybe.”
You continue too, not letting him speak for the time being. Or, rather, giving him a chance to breathe.
“Should you change your username and continue doing what you want behind closed doors because it’s no one else’s business?” You really watch him this time. “Yes.”
He blinks at you, raising a brow in slight confusion.
“Did you take advantage of me?”
He nods before you whisper out another “yes” yourself.
“Would I let you do it again…?”
Oh, for Sunghoon, it’s hard to breathe right now as he anticipates what you’ll say. Is it going to be a ‘no’ this time? Are you going to stand up and change your mind? Despite just stating you don’t want to ruin his life?
God, hasn’t he already let you?
“Yes.”
Pause.
“I’m sorry?” Sunghoon responds in disbelief, shifting his eyes to his hands and then back to you. “Come again?”
“Sunghoon.” You make it a point to call him by his name now, ignoring the etiquette of a proper boss and employee dynamic. “I am humiliated by all of this but I can see that you are too. You’ve admitted your guilt and even go as far as encouraging that I report you.” You pause again, knowing that this isn’t where the conversation should be going for any, uh, normal person, you suppose.
“If you had just told me. If you had said anything about wanting to, like, fuck me, I would have done it with or without the promotion on the line.”
Does that make you sound a little desperate? Yeah. But it’s not like he doesn’t know how badly you need to be fucked. After all, you know, the cam sessions and stuff. You were literally paying a stranger to get you off.
Shouldn’t he, of all people, know that you were bad-off enough to get laid?
Sunghoon’s issue though, is that he never looks at his employees sexually. No matter how pretty, no matter how much they flaunt themselves at him. He never has, and probably never will again. If it hadn’t been for that single first session with you, all would be well. But now? He’s too attracted to you.
He wants you so badly.
“If you tell me right now that you want me, in the same way you did on that call–” You stop yourself to really look at him. With the way he swallows, the way his lips slightly part, the way his hands show signs of eleven days worth of nervous habit cuticle picking. “If you do all of those things you said you’d do ‘if you were my boss’...”
“Wait, wait–” Sunghoon stands in a rush, causing you to jump slightly at the sudden sound echoing off of the walls in the office. “Do you understand the consequences of what you’re implying right now?”
“If I fuck my boss, we could both be fired?” You smile, feeling the confidence raise within you. Watching the way he reacts to your lewd words face to face rather than through a microphone.
“That would be…correct.” He raises a brow.
“Well, technically, you’ve already been fucking me.” You look away from him, feeling a bit shy even with the confidence, but never having spoken to a man so bluntly before like this? It’s a bit scary. “Would it really make anything worse if, you know, I do reciprocate?”
Goddamn. Sunghoon might be a bit smitten. This situation could have gone a thousand different ways, and you offer the one that includes your legs spread across this fucking desk and his face buried between them?
Oh. Never has he been so willingly turned on at work.
“Is this what you want?” He asks in a breath, shifting his eyes to the door and walking towards it, immediately reaching for the lock but not quite turning it.
“Is that what you want?” You counter, turning and staring at the lock.
Sunghoon hides his nod, wanting you to be the one to answer first. After all, hasn’t he been self-indulgent enough?
“Do you want me to fuck you?” He finally breaks and says it, blatantly, not sugar coated, yet still sweet when the words hit your ears. “After all this, you still want it?”
You nod, dipping your head a bit against your shoulder.
Click.
“I guess I should have known.” Sunghoon plays with his words now, hand dropping from the now locked door and eyes entirely on you. “Do you want me to fuck you, or would you prefer–”
“You.” You smile, feeling your skin prickle at the electricity that enters the room through breath and words alone. It’s the way he already shifted. Like all of that anxiety melted out of him within an instant.
“No, no.” He stalks towards you now, the nervous Sunghoon is no longer in sight as he makes himself seem bigger, taller, far more intimidating. Just like he was on camera. “The me you saw on screen is not the same as what you’re seeing right now.” He tries to explain.
“Oh?” You tilt your head, and he only finds that cute.
Far too cute.
“You’d do as I ask, right?” His voice shifts to a raspy whisper as he centers himself in front of you, both hands reaching the arms of your chair as he hovers above you. “I’m far more tame online.”
Tame?! That’s what he calls tame?!
You stare up at him, keeping your jaw from falling slack as you physically see him shift from being your boss into being a man with a need. Not just any need either. A need for you.
Part of you wonders if he ever truly felt bad in the first place about all of this, because the shift from just moments ago is so dramatic it’s almost scary.
“So, tell me.” He leans down, inches from your face as his eyes start to fall to a half-lidded stare at you. “You’ll do as I say? You’d let me do it all for you, and not ask me to stop until I feel it best, yes?”
You swallow and slowly nod. Oh god, it really, really, is him.
“And while at work, you’ll behave?” He continues, lips now ghosting over yours to the point you can almost feel them press down. He’s implying that if you don’t tell, that this won’t be the only time too? Shit. He’s entirely aware of why this shouldn’t be happening, but still making it happen.
“No matter what I do to you, where or how I do it, you’ll behave?”
You can’t help it when you lift your chin, just a bit to rest your lips against his words, eyes falling closed and hands hesitant to reach out for his perfectly ironed shirt.
You feel his smile against your lips, with that sharp-toothed grin he rarely offers.
“Ah, so it’s true.” He murmurs against you, his hand reaching for yours and guiding it for you, straight to his belt. “Dirty, dirty girl.”
A small, pleased, sound leaves your throat when he does kiss you, adding his own pleased hum alongside yours as his hands still hold yours in place over his belt, not quite letting you do anything just yet.
”Gonna be quiet–” He whispers into your mouth, just against your tongue before licking out and against it. “Even when I tell you to moan my name?”
You really shouldn’t be surprised, but you still are. You like this Sunghoon better than the one who stutters and picks his cuticles. He’s owning it, and in a way, so are you.
After all, it wasn’t until today that you truly learned what Sunghoon is like when he’s aroused. Not that you ever should have known in the first place. The fact that you do know, the fact that he’s showing you? It just makes this all the more arousing, in your opinion.
All he needed was a green light and within seconds it seems, Sunghoon became the need you’ve been chasing for months now through porn sites and erotic novels.
You nod to his words, trying to drop your hand just a bit to feel what you’ve already seen. Just to feel how warm he is, how—
“Is that so?” Sunghoon whispers in an amused tone, guiding your hand right back to his belt, only to drop his other hand straight between your legs. “You’re supposed to do as I say. If I tell you to moan my name, you do it.”
Oh, the sexual confusion of what to do and which Sunghoon to obey. All you can do is continue to nod for him, hanging your head with a breath at the way he cups his hand over the entirety of your core. You wore pants today in order to hide your shame, to try and feel invisible based on previous circumstances. You’re not so happy about that now, as you try to feel his touch through the thick fabric only to shamelessly thrust your hips up and against his palm.
He moves his lips to the top of your head now, hovering over you in a perfect stance of power, hand gently rubbing up and and down despite your hips asking for a harsher touch. If anything, it makes him feel better knowing how you react to this.
In actuality, his relief is sending his arousal through the roof. Not only are you not going to rat him out but…you want more of it? More of him, in particular? Not the facade of him online?
At this point, if he gets caught, you’re both going down in flames. So, why not enjoy the ride?
Truly, it’s laughable in the way he’s just as amused as he is turned on, relishing in the fact that he wants you and you’re letting him have you despite his past actions. You’re messy too, he’s seen it, and now he gets to feel it.
“Mhm,” Sunghoon hums against the top of your head, now pressing his own hips forward against your hand. “Feel that?”
The electricity? How hard he is? How needy you are?
”Yeah…” You sigh absentmindedly, bumping his chin with your head when you try to look up at him. You only blink twice before he coos out with a sad little sound.
He doesn’t say a word after as he removes his hand and instead, grabs both of your hands and places them on his shirt.
“Go on.” He smiles, waiting to see you to start fumbling against his buttons.
And fumble, you do. Touching him, for some reason, feels so dangerous. Knowing you’re the one removing his shirt, watching his skin be revealed as it begins to fall open by your own doing? It’s electrifying. Enough to lose your train of thought as you study how toned and smooth his skin is. Just like how you had seen on camera, so clear in front of you now. You’re aching for him by this point, being able to feel his body heat, touch him, feel his eyes on you.
If you had really known back then who it was you were talking to, you very well may have pretended to not know as well, judging by the way your entire body catches fire for him.
And as his shirt falls completely open, he’s satisfied with the way you do it. Complacent and docile beneath him, nervous fingers shaking much like he did for the past eleven days. With those pretty eyes looking at him, like there’s nothing in your head at all.
He chuckles at you, grabbing your hands again and placing them right on his chest, helping your hesitant touch to massage and caress each bump and toned muscle. He intentionally flexes the further down your hands go, all the way back to his belt.
There, he looks down at where you touch, then back at you with a quirked brow. You stare up at him, blinking, face feeling hot, and it’s like you move your hands on instinct. The sound of his buckle being unclasped echoes in the room, and his eyes only darken with the sound.
The sound of it slipping from the loops when he takes it upon himself to remove it completely for you, the sound of his breathing, the sound of that zipper, the button, the shuffling of his pants being skewed down just enough to fit your hand inside.
He moans at the image alone, loving the way your smaller hand looks slipping down his pants, the way your breathing is somehow even as if you’re trying to keep yourself calm. So calm, so pretty, but he knows how needy you are. He shouldn’t, but he does, and he uses it to his advantage.
You’re the one who moans this time upon feeling that little twitch of his cock urging you to grab. And he helps you too, with the way he guides your hand under the front of his pants further, forcing your fingers to grab and grope the thick of his cock, uncomfortable and pressing between his briefs and undone zipper.
“Still, you’re just looking.” Sunghoon comments, pressing his hips forward slowly and gently. “I’m right here.” He continues to explain the situation to you, as if you’re not experiencing it. “You need me to show you how to touch me too?”
You hesitate with a groan caught in your throat. You’re still processing the size difference that you feel now versus what you saw. Bigger. Thicker. Heavier than you would have expected against your palm. Honestly, you were so focused on the fact that Sunghoon’s cock is currently fucking forward against you that you almost forgot how to jerk a man off by yourself.
His hand had been doing all the work for you, and you’re quick to take over.
Sunghoon lends a very small gasp at the way you try to grasp, and instantly both of his arms shoot to the chair behind your head. He grips it, dropping his chin to the top of your head before thrusting a bit harsher into the grip you try to hold on him.
“Harder.” He exhales, his cock twitching in your weak hold. “Grab me harder.”
You do, squeezing the bulge before intentionally adjusting it for him, allowing the head of his bulbous cock to peek from the top of his briefs.
His relieved sigh is enough, you can’t help it. With his chin sat atop your head like this, you have no choice but to watch the way he moves his hips. Just like he did on camera. His abs flex with each movement, his arms grip behind you on the chair tighter, and you couldn’t pull your eyes away from his desperate body even if you wanted to.
You thrust up too, as if your body craves what you’re already touching. And you do crave it, so much so that your clit aches against the denim you’re rubbing up against. Unfortunate that you wore these fucking jeans, honestly.
“Mr. Park–” You let out a small and frustrated cry, using your other hand to try and fail at unbuttoning your own pants.
He hides his smile at the way you’ve reverted back to his professional title, but pays no mind to it because that’s what he wanted to hear in your voice that night. A desperate sound of his name, a plea, a cry. He can’t help but cling to it and bury that pretty voice into the darkest parts of his brain. A memory he’ll revisit time and time again after this. That sound, those pretty lips, this weak grasp you have. For the time being, it’s his. You belong to him right now.
“Hm?” He hums out, fucking his hips forward while tilting his head back to look at you. “What is it, baby?”
Oh. You lost your train of thought.
Thankfully, he seems to do the thinking for you as he shifts his eyes down and watches you try to both please him and remove your own pants. A cute sight to him, really. Someone who was just scolding him for wanting this, fumbling for more?
So cute.
He chuckles, pulling his hips back from your hand and grabbing it, unbothered by the loss of your touch. Instantly he intertwines his fingers with yours, and grasps your other hand from your pants to do the same. Both your arms raise by his guidance to the back of the chair before he releases them.
You watch with a slack jaw and half-lidded eyes as he lowers himself, right onto his knees before he unbuttons your pants for you and very politely pulls them from your legs.
“This what you want?” He smiles, lying his cheek right against your exposed thigh and taking a deep inhale. It’s taking everything in him not to fawn over the woman who had him in his thoughts for the past however long, truly.
Then again, he’s weak. He doesn’t even look up at you through his words and, instead, nuzzles his nose right up and against the seat of your panties before inhaling with a pleasant hum. “To have me finally touching this pretty pussy for you?”
God damn, if you didn’t already know it was him on that camera, you do now. He speaks the same type of words, with the same confidence, the same sultry tone…
You can barely comprehend the way he slowly takes his own pants off because you’re too focused on the way he runs his lips across your skin with dirty thoughts spilling from them. Fingers tucked under either side of your panties in preparation before he eventually pulls them off of you.
“Did you wear those pants to hide yourself from me?” He comments now with an amused tone. “Knowing you wanted me to take them off of you anyway?”
You shake your head at him, holding your breath. You did wear them to hide, but you never would have expected this situation to go in a direction involving his mouth anywhere near where you need it. Sure, you assumed he would have rejected you, you assumed that if it was him– he’d have been so disgusted with himself that he’d only gag at your presence.
But no. You were bold in your words, and he seems to feed into that.
“No?” He furrows his brows and lifts his head. Now lowering your panties much like he did for your pants. He’s quick with his next action, seemingly hiding his own desperation through playful comments at you. “Why not?” He adds, instantly pressing his thumb against your clit and fucking shining his eyes up at you with a semi-pouted mouth.
You roll your eyes back at the sudden pressure, relaxing your shoulders and slouching down in the chair. Your legs spread further on instinct, granting him a full view of your sticky cunt parting open for him.
His eyes glance down, peering into the heat you offered once before ever knowing it was him looking. Clicking his tongue, he can’t help but bite his lower lip to hold himself back. He hopes you don’t notice the way his hand finds its way to his own cock, he really, really hopes you don’t see him act so pathetic over this.
But you do. The moment your eyes roll back into place and get a look at him. One of his shoulders is moving, but the action is hidden by not only the chair, but his fucking face. He’s got his lips parted and he’s licking his lower lip. Slicking it up with his own saliva before–
“So quiet,” He hums with glistening lips, lending himself a light hold with his cock and pretending it’s you doing it for him. “You have nothing to say for yourself?” He adds now, inhaling once more the scent of your slick dripping for him as he leans in just a bit more.
“Oh–!” You yelp slightly at the feeling of his teeth digging into the flesh just to the side of your core. He bites down harder and harder, licking the flesh between his teeth before sucking hard against it. The sweat and scent of your full-day at work does nothing to calm his raging cock. He loves it and it only grows his appetite for you. Licking, sucking, nibbling at the skin until he’s sure he’ll leave a nice, painful swell to rub against your panties later. Only then does he release your skin from his still-tasting mouth.
The relief when he releases your thigh is short lived because he offers not even a full two seconds before you feel his mouth circle your clit. Like he can’t help himself, like he can’t tease you right now even if he wanted to.
A flick of his tongue sends a shiver down your spine straight to your toes and you can’t stop your legs from immediately wrapping around his head. You hear his muffled “mmf” when you do that, but he keeps you from apologizing for it because his free hand goes straight under your ass and scoots you even closer to his tongue.
And if you didn’t already think Sunghoon knew how to use that mouth for more than just being a professional business man, you do now. With the way that same tongue that used to taste the morning coffee you’d bring him now tastes you. Deeply.
He licks, flicks, and sucks every fold. Slurping up any dripping heat that slips out of you before pressing his tongue in and nuzzling his nose against your clit. He’s not quiet about it either. He moans with each lick, hums every time your legs squeeze around his neck, slurps and loudly sucks.
It’s pornographic, it’s sexy, it’s–
Suddenly, you feel a sharp jolt shoot through you, having not even noticed his hand moving from your ass to your front, moving straight up under your shirt. His fingers immediately find your nipple and pinches hard. So hard that your previous moan only becomes prolonged. Grows louder, breathier.
He pinches and massages your nipple with the intent to keep you loud for him. Office setting or not, he could give less of a shit about that right now. He ignores the strain on his wrist from your bra, he uses his other hand to grip himself harder, and you can’t help but squeeze him tighter between your thighs until you’re, quite literally, shaking.
Your hips are sliding against his face with each jolt of pleasure, practically riding him, and his cock is now entirely neglected because you can’t help but want more. You need more. And he gives it, by now releasing himself and keeping both hands on you. One holding the outside of your thigh, almost pushing you to squeeze tighter, the other incessantly abusing your nipple.
He chokes out a moan through his messy movements, never quite knowing where to put his hands solely because he wants to touch all of you. His cock is just fine being neglected, he thinks, as he realizes just how much pleasure he gets from feeling you wrap yourself around him like this.
It feels better than jerking himself off.
“Mr. P–” You sigh out, still not quite used to actually calling him his name, but the sound of it reminds you time and time again how wrong this situation is supposed to be.
You’re sitting on this soft chair, pussy being spread apart by a tongue none other than the man who signs your paychecks. And just this morning you were terrified of him ever even getting a glimpse of you without pants on? God, how stupid could you be? You should’ve been chasing this man’s touch since the day you looked at him for the first time.
“Fuck–” You moan out for him, brain spitting thoughts at you as each second passes. The danger of this, the fact that he genuinely got off to you before you knew it was him. The secrecy of his perverted thoughts and actions…it’s all so… “So, you’re so – hot.”
You feel him laugh, kissing the pulsing hole of your pussy when he pulls his tongue back to swallow. And for just a few moments, he turns his head, gripping your thigh with his teeth once again before speaking back to you, muffled by the hot skin.
“Yeah?” He laughs, now pulling his hand from your bra and lifting to your chin, pointing your gaze down at him, forcing you to see the way your thighs nearly suffocate him against your pussy. “Then keep your eyes on me.”
And you do, especially when he uses both of his hands now, nudging them between your legs and forcing them from his shoulders. He rests your legs on the arms of the chair instead and flicks his eyes up at you.
“You watching?” He makes this a point, blowing a small breath of air straight at your clit before receiving a dazed and slow nod from you. “Keep your legs open too.”
That’s the last thing he says before his mouth is full again, sucking your folds between his teeth before tucking his tongue right back into your hole. He tastes for just a few moments before you feel those same lips on your clit. He lets it throb in his open mouth as he listens carefully to your little sounds, especially now that he’s sliding his fingers into you.
You gasp, holding your breath at the feeling. His fingers slide in, reaching deep before he scissors them open. And all you feel from it is pleasure. You can’t help that your eyes roll back again, but you do try to keep your gaze fixed on his. With his eyes so rounded, blinking up at you with his strong jaw moving with each swallow of his own muffled moans.
He sucks your clit, fucks your cunt open, and relishes in the way he will soon get to splay you across his desk and really let you have it.
And he does this for a few minutes, though in your head it goes by so fast that you nearly get whiplash from the way he pulls back with a wet sound and grins at you.
“Aw, baby–” He coos at the face you make, seemingly disappointed to lose all stimulation at once, but he’s quick to lift to his feet and lean back over you.
Oh, his cock. It’s right there.
Oh.
His face–
“You’re so fucking wet right now.” He murmurs against the corner of your mouth with a raspy whisper, easily and without warning slipping two of his fingers right back into the heat that he just denied himself of licking more. “You hear that?” He continues with a sharp toothed bite to your lip. “How wet you are?”
You groan at the way he slams his fingers in, out, in, out, in…He keeps them there, pressed so far into you that you can physically feel the way your pussy tries to push him out again.
“Could slip it in right now–” He moans out at how tight you clench just his fingers. “Fuck, could be so deep in you.”
Your face feels hot as a bashful feeling overtakes you. His voice hits so much harder when you feel his breath along with it. His fingers, his cock right up against you. You want him to slip it in. To stuff his cock in you so fast, no room to adjust, not a second to even catch your breath.
God, you need it right now. It’s been too long since you’ve felt a real person touch you, you can’t help that you feel so desperate. The clench isn’t on purpose, your body tells him all he needs to know, all while he tells you all you could only wish to hear fall from someone’s lips.
And not just anyone. His lips.
You shoot your arms around his neck and it's not really intentional but– an actual kiss. You need it.
He seems pleased by it though, with the way his tongue immediately asks for more. One hand moves to brace your cheek, the other still fucking into you so good that you can’t keep a single moan down. He takes full control of the initiated kiss solely because you kissed him first. Almost hungrily, he licks into your mouth with his own muffled groan, encouraging you to keep being pretty like this. Just so you can see what he’ll do to you.
And, damn. He guides your body like a puppet, stiffening his shoulders when he licks into your mouth and threatening to pull away by raising himself up just a bit. He knew you’d chase the kiss, and you do. You lift with him, your ass lifting from the chair just to keep his tongue against yours, and he takes the elevated position and angles his hand just a bit. There, his fingers fuck into you harder, faster, so much fucking deeper until– you feel his fingers stop at a painfully deep spot inside of you.
He pulls back from the kiss, looking down between your bodies, and your eyes follow his gaze. Right there, he’s placed his knee up against his own wrist, forcing his fingers to remain deep and unmoving in you.
You take in a sharp inhale, seeing the way he lets your body fall back to the seat of the chair, only forcing him to skew his fingers and– “Oh, god!”
You moan out so suddenly that it even shocks him for a moment, but he takes your weakness and uses it to his advantage. Quickly, he licks into your moaning mouth, tickling his fingers upwards, pulling even more animalistic sounds from you.
“Yeah?” He whispers frantically, so turned on by the way your entire body stiffens. “Right there?” He continues, leaning his full body weight forward with his knee, wincing at the way he presses his cock against anything he can find in the process, just to get you off right here, right now.
You nod just as frantically, toes curling, arms shooting to the chair in a form that should appear as discomfort, but really you’re just bracing yourself through the tensing of your muscles before all of them relax and pulse at once.
Your ears pop, but you can still hear your desperate cries of his name somewhere distant. You can even hear him, humming and encouraging your orgasm. You wish you could hold your eyes open to see him, to grab him and force him to fuck his fingers hard into you. God, you could take it right now. You could take just about anything to heighten this feeling of stars bursting behind your eyelids.
Somehow though, it’s like he knows. Half-way through your orgasm, you feel the weight between your legs shift and his fingers start moving again. Still, your eyes are squeezed shut, and you can't help but to lunge forward and hug against his neck, clinging to him through the prolonged orgasm that his fingers alone have brought to you.
“Squeezing me so tight–” Sunghoon groans, unsure of if he’s referring to the way your needy cunt crowds his fingers, or the way you cling to him like a lost pet, begging for him to never leave your sight. “Fuck, you’re so pretty like this.”
You hear those words over any of his others. So clear in your head as you snap your head up and look at him. You see him lower his gaze, but your grip doesn’t quite allow him to actually look down at you. Not when he has to physically hold you up anyway. Still, he looks amused up there, knowing that single compliment must’ve hit somewhere inside of you.
You’re not sure why, through all this, Sunghoon calling you pretty makes it so much more intimate. And even as your legs continue to shake, and you release your death grip hug on him, he keeps himself crowded up to you. He’s somehow out of breath just like you are, relishing in the calm silence of your post orgasm as he…Jesus.
It’s not just your imagination. Somehow, it is intimate. It’s the way he pulls his fingers out and both hands shoot to your face. First, he kisses you as if you’re a long lost love. Deeply, slowly. Then, he’s putting one hand at the small of your back, nudging his knee right back between your legs, and pulling you right up against him.
“Who did you cum for?” Sunghoon asks, pulling back just to lick against your lips and stare directly down at you. “Say my name.”
You don’t hesitate, echoing out with a winced expression, still so out of breath while rubbing your clit to the expanse of his thigh.
“Su-Sunghoo-Sunghoon-”
“Yeah?” He encourages you, hearing his name heat his ears up. He moves his pussy-slicked fingers to your mouth while you cry his name, and easily presses your tongue down with them, sliding the digits further and further down your throat. “Sunghoon.” He says his own name. “Say it again.”
You gag around his fingers, unable to obey his demand.
“Sung–” He inspects the way your tongue struggles against the intrusion in your mouth. “Hoon.”
You swallow around them now, sputtering, tears now running down the outer apples of your cheeks. He watches you do it too, wondering how good that would feel if it were his cock you’re swallowing around. Knowing you’d probably do it for him if he wanted to right now.
But…he needs more than that. Despite how delicious you look while gagging, his cock has been neglected and he needs to fuck out the stress from the past however long you’ve been avoiding him. It’s like his brain breaks with the action as he watches you take his fingers in whatever way he offers. You let him do whatever he wants. You’re obeying.
“Up.” He suddenly says, pulling all physical contact with you away as he turns, steps out of the pants restricting his ankles, and swipes every pen, file, and picture frame off his desk. “Come here, baby.”
You feel like you’re melted to this chair right now, in all honesty. You’re still trying to catch your breath just from touching his cock before he decided to make you see fucking stars, to think you can stand right now is insane.
So, when you don’t immediately hop up and throw yourself onto his desk, he turns to look at you.
You’re splayed out, legs still spread, toes still curled. Your chest is heaving to breathe, eyes wild and lips so fucking kissable.
“Oh, fuck.” He sighs to himself in realization, relishing in the image of you he’s only recently been craving. “Look at you.”
You lift your arm to hide your face, feeling apologetic for the way you’ve lost the ability to exist as an active participant right now. Even more apologetic when you glance down at how fucking hard his cock is. Raging hard, so pretty with the tip sputtering precum for god knows how long.
He watches you stare, and lends you a few moments to catch your breath by gripping it himself. Leaning himself against his desk and twisting his wrist with a tight grip at the base.
“Is this how you looked at me when I did this before?” He asks, flicking his wrist still with each drag. “So out of it, you look like such a mess, babe.”
You find yourself humming a confirmation to him as you watch, almost reverting back to who you were during that first session. Unseen, only heard, all while you got to see him pleasure himself to almost nothing. You gave him nothing.
You’ve still only given him nothing.
And so, very slowly, you force yourself to stand on shaking legs to take those two strides to his desk. Something inside of you tingles when he drops his cock and opens his arms for you, like a good boss would do in this situation. Supporting your unbalanced weight, letting you walk into his comforting grasp.
“Said my name so pretty, you know.” He comments gently when he holds you close to him. Hands reaching down from the grip around your waist just to grab both of your fleshy ass checks and squeeze them. “You want more, yes?”
He’s quick to the point, only allowing the short and sweet moments to last just enough for them to stick in your head. Just enough to have questions about his actions. Just enough to give him anything, everything, he could want if it involves your body.
You nod almost shyly, dipping your head down and leaning against his chest.
“Let's get this off of you then.” He smiles with a gentle voice, reaching to the hem of your shirt and pulling it straight up, watching how you lift your arms to help him. “Mhm–” He hums again, loving how the bra drags off of you along with the shirt. He lets both of his hands brush your nipples before he goes back to gripping your ass cheeks and spreading them.
Spreading them so wide that, once again, you have to lift on your toes just to let him play with your body. Which, oh man. Always wearing his button down shirts, his blazers, his long-sleeve shirts. You can’t help it when you tug at the opened fabric of his shirt, asking silently that he shake it off. Wanting to see his arms, wanting to see the strength in them.
And he does it without hesitation, letting his hands fall from you just for a moment to shake his shirt off, only now hugging against you again and forcing a position change. He turns both of you so now you’re up against his desk, and he’s standing in front of you.
It’s easy for him to push you back in a kiss. Your legs open for him on instinct anyway, so he need not worry about prying those legs open again. You do just as expected when he pushes you too. Your ass hits the desk and you lift on your toes to sit on it. Your legs spread wider, making room for him to step even closer, cock right up against you when he closes any amount of distance, and still? He’s kissing you.
All across your face, down your neck, back to your lips. And his hands just keep feeling. Massaging your tits, lending small taps to your ass, holding your chin, jaw, neck, and then…he runs them through your hair.
The feeling is so good you almost forget how you’ve been trying to steal a glimpse of his flexing arms as he grabs at you. Goosebumps prickle and you let out a groan at the pleasure of it. He keeps one hand there now, smiling against his kiss to your ear.
“You like being pampered?” He asks, now gripping a fist full of your hair and skewing your neck to the side. “Like being moved around like a puppet?”
Never once have you thought about your sex life that way, but when you think about it…maybe. After all, you did enjoy being told when and how to touch yourself, being allowed or forbidden from cumming. Now, with him quite literally moving you around with just a simple grip of your hair? Yeah.
“By you–” You mutter out as you open your eyes, staring at the ceiling and feeling his tongue lap against your earlobe.
“Just me?” He leans back, using that same grip in your hair to force you to look at him. “You’d give me that power?”
You nod against the grasp, lips falling open in a moan despite not being pleasured by anything aside from the stinging against your scalp as he pulls little hairs a bit too tightly.
“You know–” Sunghoon starts now, pressing his hips forward, dropping his other hand to his cock and slapping it right against your weeping cunt. “If I had known you were this dirty...”He sighs out at the image in his head, thinking back to all those times he silently complimented you in his head. Back then, never would he have made comments about your legs out loud, or how your tits would look in certain shirts. Thinking back now, he’s always found you quite beautiful.
Quite fuckable, even.
You listen to the silence waiting for him to continue, feeling the way he presses the hardened head of his length against your clit repeatedly.
“I would have propped you up on this desk months ago,” He smiles now, leaning in real close to your ear as his grip in your hair loosens just a bit. “Could’ve had you moaning my name this whole time.”
Then, you feel it. The way he adjusts his weeping cock lower, prodding at your hole just a bit until his tip is entirely enveloped by your clenching walls.
You swallow a moan and hold your breath, legs shooting around his waist and instinctively trying to force his hips to move forward, trying to force him to penetrate you deeper.
“Shh,” He coos out, holding his hips firm and not letting you control his movements. Then, he kisses just under your ear before peppering them all the way back to your lips. He doesn’t kiss you though, no, he chuckles at you for trying. Watching you let your tongue fall from your mouth, inspecting the way you’re entirely in tune for him right now. “You really want it, don’t you?” He whispers just above your lips. “Want me to fuck you right here, right now?”
You nod absentmindedly, legs still trying to force him to move, arms clinging under his biceps, head still forced into whatever position he keeps it in by the hair.
“Please–Sunghoon.” You cry in a small voice, feeling as if you’re going insane by the feeling of his tip sitting comfortably in you.
“You’re so cute.” He smiles, lending you another inch of his length before letting his hand fall from your hair. There, he grips your waist instead, letting a strained grunt fall from his own lips this time. He’s really trying to remain collected about this, and he’s unsure himself why he’s enjoying the act of teasing you like this. He feels like he’s teasing himself more than you right now, seeing as how it’s taking everything in him not to stuff his cock into you hard and fast. “So–so, fucking cute.”
You clench around the few inches in you and it appears that’s all he needed to break entirely. Is he controlling you, or are you controlling him?
Honestly, who gives a fuck?
You feel his arms shake when he plants them at either side of you, pointing his cock straight into you and sliding in fully. There’s a groan from him that you want to hear so badly, but your own heart beat is thumping in your ears so loudly that you miss half of it.
The stretch is delicious, and the fact that it’s Sunghoon doing this to you makes this all the more enjoyable. The man who you’ve seen day after day, now holding himself up on the desk you’ve signed papers on with and for him? All so he can angle his hips and shove his cock in? Just to let his arms frantically wrap around your waist? Just so he can scoot you forward on this desk, using your leaking slick to slide you back and forth in time with his hips?
That groan you wanted to hear? He hasn’t stopped. He’s essentially, controlling the entire situation and when you half open your eyes to witness his face, you’re forced to roll your eyes back in a moan matching his.
He’s fucking you so deeply right now that all you can do is moan, all you can do is forget the embarrassment, the victimization, the way he’s doing this to you despite the risk of reality crumbling. He could lose his job, you could lose yours, and yet still– he’s fucking you like he doesn’t care.
So, you choose not to care either in the form of grabbing his hair, forcing his head back, and attaching your lips right against his adams apple. You feel him swallow and breathe out a shocked sound, and then? You suck.
Intentionally, you suck, bite, and lick, harder and harder until there’s a deep purple mark there. He doesn’t even fight it, though you feel him try to move his head just to keep you from going too insane with it. You don’t care though, because still you feel his cock splitting you open, forcing you to adjust to him.
“Ah,” Sunghoon lets out another breath with that familiar chuckle, “Marking me now?”
You hum a confirmation as you move to a new spot on his neck, absolutely fucking marking him. Feeling devastated by the idea that he’d do this with any other employee. Or any other person in general.
“Making me all yours, huh?” He continues with his cocky words, feeling the way your pussy clenches him tightly, dripping all over his desk. He’d let you make him yours, with or without the bruising from your mouth.
“Mhm.” You hum pleasantly, letting out little yelps each time he slams into you. Letting out full moans each time his arms wrap around your waist tighter.
You continue with the act, littering his pretty neck with your touch and loving how he just lets you. Knowing that he’ll show up at work tomorrow looking a bit tired, but glowing nonetheless, trying to hide all these marks with that tight-necked collar he likes to wear.
“Whatever you want.” He breathes, letting his hips lose rhythm for just a moment as he feels his muscles tighten. “Fuck, you’re still so tight.”
You feel like you’re on top of the world as he compliments you, to the point you’re not sure when you’ll cum because your whole body has seemingly been feeling euphoria anyway. Everything feels good, even if his cock reaches deep enough to cause little jolts of pain. The sound of the desk scooting back through the force of his hips is enough to make you take it. Enough to squeeze your legs around him tighter, enough to clench, enough to– forget what you’re doing and let yourself fall into it with him.
Your head falls back from his neck and you pant out little half-calls of his name with each thrust. Your legs loosen from around him too, but his grip on your waist only pushes you back on his desk. Until he’s leaning forward so hard with each thrust that suddenly your back meets the cold wood.
Sandwiched between him and his desk, he follows the action, his hands quickly moving from your waist to your tits, pushing them together just so he can nuzzle his face between them.
There, you look at him. You really look at him.
What a messy, messy, man. Always so pristine during working hours, now looking so wrecked and out of it as he chases a pleasure that you hope only you can give to him.
“Mr. Park–” You sigh out in a pleasant voice, watching the way he sucks your tit into his mouth before his eyes open wide just so he can look up at you through each thrust. “Harder.”
You can physically see the way his eyes darken when he pops off from your tit, hands now going back to the desk as he hovers over you and intentionally rolls his hips.
You feel his cock loosen you up painfully before he intentionally fucks into you. Dragging all the way out, just to push forward in a deep and painful thrust. Over and over again, all while he’s staring straight into your eyes.
As you look up at him, you see the intent in his face. The way he wants to give you exactly what you want. Sweat shining from his cheeks, his neck littered with pretty colors. Oh, he’s actually heavenly when he fucks.
Better than what you thought that guy on camera would have been. He’s not nonchalant like he was when he was performing. He’s entirely in tune with you and what you want. Like what you want is what he wants.
You can tell he’s paying no mind to his own face or expression, blatantly putting all of his thoughts into how he’s pleasuring you, his eyes searching your face to tell him he’s doing well. To tell him you feel good, to tell him you’re close or–
“Fuck–” He sighs out, teeth tracing his bottom lip as he glances up, keeping pace with the way he’s been plunging into you. “I can’t keep looking at you,”
You smile, feeling dazed and far away. It feels like it’s just you and him. You’re not in his office, on a desk, or doing anything you shouldn’t be doing.
“You hear me?” He drops his body weight on you again, letting his hips move freely as he chases and chases. “I’m so close.”
Oh.
“Then look at me.” You huff out, now shooting a hand between his flexed abs and simply…touching your clit once.
“Oh–shit.”
It hits you so fast. Just a simple touch causes your pussy to clench Sunghoon so tightly that he mimics your sound.
“Ah, fuck- fuck,” His voice sounds frantic as he tries to pull out, only to feel your legs shoot back around him. This time, he lets you force him to stay. He lets those legs of yours push him back in, so deep that he knows he can’t fight. “No, no–” He chokes out, uncaring if his hips show you that he’s lying with his words. “I’m cumming– I need to–”
“Stay!” You shake beneath him but your voice sounds pleading, pressing once more to your clit before letting it go. You clench him again, essentially letting your body finish him off. Letting those clenches squeeze him so tightly, making sure he couldn’t fathom ever wasting his cum. “Don’t pull out.”
He doesn’t. In fact, he presses impossibly deeper, trying to bury his cock into you to the point it even pains him. Arms shaking as he tries to hold himself up again, only to drop his lips to yours under his own weight. His hips are so tense between your legs, his cock is so stiff that you can feel each pumped release, and still you’re experiencing your own euphoria through it.
To the point your toes are curling and you barely notice the way you leave welts across his back from your fingernails through the intense orgasm. To the point his slack lips against yours feel more natural than anything else. Not kissing, just close. So close that–
He kisses you.
After it’s all said and done, he still kisses you breathlessly. Passionately almost, clinging to you as his cock twitches as it grows flaccid inside of you.
He doesn’t pull out, he just…kisses.
And as you lay against his wooden desk, body coming down from the pleasure you’ve felt more than once within the past hour, all you can do is let your brain think on its own. Without shame, without embarrassment or anxiety.
You thought Sunghoon would have been in control the whole time. Teasing you, maybe even making this experience more painful than it needs to be. But no, he…
He’s soft. Gentle, almost.
Only now do you recognize that as badly as he probably wants to appear harsh, like the confident man he is on camera, you think he needs something else. Not just power, not just money or control. Not even just fucking.
You think…maybe, Sunghoon needs connection.
Intimacy.
And that’s proven when he does finally stand on his own buckled knees, pulling you up with him into a hug where he still kisses you. Up until he takes that shirt you unbuttoned and holds it between your legs, scratching the back of his neck with a shy glance at you.
“Sorry for the mess.” He echoes in a meek voice, holding that shirt firm against you. “Guess I just couldn’t help myself.”
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Days later, you find yourself in his bed. Which should have been expected probably. Still doesn’t change the fact that every few hours, you remind yourself the reality of the situation.
It’s not just any bed you’re in. It’s Sunghoon’s bed.
“Oh, right. The promotion.” Sunghoon suddenly calls out mid-episode.
You’ve been here with him all day. To the point neither of you bother to put on clothes now because you know the spark will come back at any given time and you’ll be all over each other again. Still, lazing in his bed with him on a Saturday afternoon is nice.
“I’ve been a bit occupied but– the interviews for the assistant position has been pushed back a bit due to you not coming to work. I was supposed to notify you when you got back, but you know, we had priorities–”
Sunghoon sighs, embarrassed. It’s nice actually, seeing him in his natural element. Allowing you to see him as more than just the guy that wears a suit and tie every day at work.
“Unrelated to us…doing this, but, you’re up for the interview. Just need to schedule it with me. If you still want to be my assistant, I mean.”
“Oh, I can only imagine what that could entail.”
Sunghoon seems offended by this remark as he pulls back with furrowed brows.
“Excuse me?”
“Did you fuck the last one too?” You give him a playful smile, prodding at his soft-skinned chest.
“Absolutely not?!”
“You’re still gonna fuck me too though, right? Even if I’m constantly having to nag you for signatures and meetings?”
Sunghoon stares at you before smiling.
“Well, let's see if you get the job anyway. Rhonda from Marketing is applying too.”
You lend a half-joke gag at him.
“Is it too forward to ask for special attention for the position along with a sexual favor?” You tread the thin line. “I’m half joking but wouldn’t it be like…normal for us to be seen around each other at work if I’m working a job that requires it?”
Sunghoon thinks hard.
“You’re really asking to fuck your way up the ladder?”
“Aren’t you the one who offered it so I wouldn’t tell your dirty little secret?” You narrow your eyes at him. “But no, I’m asking for the job I’ve been trying to earn for ages. Besides, I’d still fuck you anyway.”
“Fair.” Sunghoon thinks harder still. “Rhonda would probably find out too, if she were to get the position anyway, considering my assistants are often intertwined in my personal business as well.”
“Oh, I’m personal business now?”
“Babe, my hand has been on your tit for an hour now.”
Well, he’s not wrong.
“Rhonda is really close with HR too…” You trail off, feeling a bit anxious. “I think she’d hold it over both of us if she found out.”
“In all fairness, you’ve been considered for the job more than a few times the past few months. Rhonda only applied during your two week avoidance of me. The reason she’s even up for the position is because my boss thinks you’re too flaky.”
Oh, so you have a chance with or without putting his dick in your mouth again?
“Who else has applied?”
“Confidential.” Sunghoon shrugs. “I still have to follow company rules even if we’re breaking a few of them right now. What I can tell you is, over fifteen other candidates have already been phased out by me personally.”
You pause.
“Why?”
“Bad matches, mostly. Two of them have been caught talking shit about me through the company emails, and the others? Many outside applicants, all freshman college students with strict schedules.”
“Being my assistant is not an easy job, and even before all of this, you’ve practically been doing the job already, better than the current assistant I have.”
You damn fucking right you have.
“How many are still in the running?”
“Two.”
Oh, this job is soooooo yours.
“Just, one more thing.” Sunghoon sighs. “If you get this job, we cannot be fucking in my office. No sexual stuff at work. We can take lunch together, or I’ll bring you home after work, but absolutely nothing at work.”
Oh, he thinks you want him that badly?
“Who says I need to fuck you during work hours anyway? I know how to control myself.”
“It’s not you who I’m worried about.” Sunghoon looks away, biting the inside of his cheek.
“Yeah?” You smile. “You gonna be calling me into your office just to torture yourself?”
“Oh, absolutely.”
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
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✧ the gambler and his knight.
aventurine can't stand having his outfit exposed to the elements nor to the rude hands of clients that won't cooperate – luckily for him, he has you to take care of it all. { aventurine with a bodyguard!reader. }
⎯ fluff & angst. 2.9k wc. headcanons w/ some written scenes. the plot is vv subtle but it's there a.k.a aventurine simps for you (jokingly) but you both end up catching feelings (not jokingly). mentions of violence, death & russian roulette. pre-penacony timeline. a self-indulgent piece to celebrate this blog's 2nd anniv! ★
★ 〜 masterlist.
© seelestia on tumblr, june 2024. please do not repost, plagiarize, translate, use for AI-related purposes or claim as your own.
aventurine who graciously welcomes you under his employment with a game. just a little something to ease your nerves and get you used to his ways. you look at him with such incredulity as if he just fell and hit his head silly. he pays no mind to this – finds it to be amusing a great deal, actually. keep it up, newcomer!
“heads or tails?” he asks, flipping a coin in the air and catching it seamlessly. a routine for him, you would've figured from the sight. “that's. . . an odd way of saying hello,” you point out but your tone bears no hint of protest. he notices that.
“i've heard that one before,” aventurine tilts his head with a smile, nonchalant. “so what's your guess?”
“tails,” you reply without any delay. it's a mindless answer; getting it wrong this way would prove to bear less disappointment compared to putting actual thought in it. “heads for me then,” he whistles.
aventurine opens his palm. it's heads. you frown as if to suspect foul play—but you don't because you know about his notoriously good luck—and your new boss chuckles, almost placatingly.
“looks like i win,” he grins without a care in the world at all. “aren't you starving? let's fetch ourselves a meal, friend.”
a loss rewarded with a prize? you blink. with grace so in contrast to the whiplash you feel, aventurine walks past you with a trail of expensive perfume in his wake. obviously, he expects you to follow and you do after a moment's reluctance.
(this guy is more confusing than the stellaron.)
aventurine who grows quite fond of seeing you acquiesce to his wishes, whether serious or trivial. could you ward off those reporters? could you pour him a drink? could you play a game of poker with him? could you join him for lunch? you're always so professional that he starts to find some mirth in pushing your buttons (never too much). unlucky for you, he does it to be affectionate and lucky for him, you always say yes even if you roll your eyes every single time.
aventurine who trusts you with his credit card. . . to a worrying degree. when asked if he's sure about this, he just waves it off and says it'll be safer in your hands. seriously, this card has been in your possession longer than it's ever been in his. sometimes, he does ask for it back – only to drop some 200k credits to your account. “a tip for doing a good job,” he'd wink casually while you're flabbergasted beyond belief.
aventurine who finds it extremely attractive whenever you step in to protect him from harm. dealing with uncooperative clients is a day in his life, yet some are so brutish they resort to getting physical – but he has you to make sure their hands stay off him. a gun in his direction? knocked off before the trigger even has a chance to get pulled. reaching out to grab him by the collar? they're already on the ground, your foot threateningly pressed on their back as a warning. what a dashing sight – and thanks to you, his pristine outfit has been saved more times than he could count at this point.
aventurine who likes to call you his “knight in shining armor” teasingly. awh, you don't like it? he thinks you're more than deserving of that title with the way you always swoop in to get him out of trouble. if the thousands of credits he gives you aren't enough yet, won't a cute title suffice? “it sounds corny,” you tell him with a grimace—and maybe, yes—but he just chirps coyly, “dunno. i think it's fitting.”
aventurine who makes it his responsibility to check on you after a rough mission. credits are no problem, he'd even reserve the most expensive private doctor in the cosmos if that means you'll recover faster. sadly, he has little to no medical skills – so the most he can offer you is bandages. sure, you can take a bullet to the stomach and handle a punch or two, that's your job, but what about tiny scratches? . . .don't tell him you're about to reject his kind offer.
“what's your favorite color?” he queries, somewhat out of the blue considering the situation where he is helping you tend to a minor cut on your finger. you raise an eyebrow, “why do you wanna know?” as he gently plasters a plain-colored bandage on your skin (which he's only been granted permission to after minutes of begging you to let him do it).
“for the bandages,” aventurine answers. he finds no need to hide his intentions as he runs a thumb over the bandage, softly as to not hurt you, to keep its position secure. “so that the next time you ask, i'll have some in your favorite color for sure.”
“how. . . thoughtful of you,” you snort, amused.
(briefly, he resists the urge to ask if he can place a kiss on your cut for 'luck'. but if he does, you might have his head. so, he'll try another time.)
aventurine who slowly begins to find a sense of comfort in your company. maybe, it's the way you scoff at his quips with a smile or the way you always tell him to be careful. maybe, it's the way you take him seriously or the way you stay by his side—is your job description the only reason why?—or maybe, he's just pathetic and reeks of so much loneliness you feel sympathetic. he can't tell, but he hopes the luxuries he has can persuade you to stay just a little longer. even if you don't actually care. (you do.)
aventurine who notices how anxiety brims in your gaze when you watch him gamble at the table – with a sum too high to be considered sane and sometimes, his own life. he can see it all; how your hands shake as if you want to reach out, how your lips tremble as if you want to tell him to stop. but this is what he's made for, is it not? he'll survive one way or another. . . until fate decides the bill for all his past good fortune is finally due. and when the time comes, he'll be ready for it. (will you?)
a game of russian roulette.
it always starts with thrills only to end with carnage spilled all over the table. luck is the only thing worth praying for at that point and oh, is luck not the dearest friend aventurine ever had? hence the reason why he always agrees, not with a yes but with a “why not?”.
you're there as his protector yet, utterly condemned to the role of a witness as soon as aventurine nods along to that darned game. panic rushes through your veins as the gun is passed around so relaxedly, so easily with laughter all around. aventurine's next in line, you realize grimly. the next decision that comes after is spontaneous, so different from your usual calculated nature – you drag him out of the casino in a frenzy before the weapon even lands in his hand. in your head, there is no other thought louder than: he could've died.
“a shame i didn't get to the fun part,” you hear him hum from behind you, too disturbingly calm for your liking. the bustling noises inside the establishment have all but faded into the background. “that was close, hm?” he laughs, a sound you would've found endearing if this was another occasion. any occasion that doesn't involve teetering dangerously on the precipice of death.
you stop in your tracks and aventurine, behind you, naturally follows. your silence is something he first takes note of and the way your hand shakes as it holds his is the second. you still haven't let go. what's going through your mind? he calls out your name softly, perplexed at your lack of explanation.
“. . .why did you say yes?” you respond with a bitter question. “you could've died. you almost died,” you try to hold back a shout – yet, your words are spat in such a fusillade he feels a seed of guilt starting to bloom inside his lifeless heart. he discards it in favor of putting on a frivolous smile.
“oh, relax,” he lets out a chuckle, one that sounds so ignorant of the taut tension in the air. “it's just some russian roulette. why so serious?” he shrugs as if to physically brush off any seriousness clinging to his figure. his remark gives off the assumption that every single hint of your worry has flown over his head.
“it is serious. . .” you bite your bottom lip. he sneers in return, “yeah? since when?” as if to challenge you to give an actual answer. his life is full of risks, to say otherwise would be a lie. “you're sweet for worrying but you don't actually care about me that much, do you?” he snickers to himself. like the thought of your caring about him can't possibly be true, like it's all just a terrible joke.
but he's the only one laughing.
aventurine falls quiet and finally, genuinely meets your gaze for the first time that night. he doesn't like what he sees. your lips are downturned, unamused and saddened—you do care, a realization that has been left unsaid—and all remainders of levity in him are replaced by immediate dread. it only now registers that the anger, concern, frustration on your face is for him; they're the unavoidable consequences from caring about him.
(his eyes widen. no, no, no.)
“c'mon, you—” he covers it up with a carefree smile, as feigned as it came. he shoves his hand in one of his pockets. it's shaking. “. . .worry too much. you've seen me play a handful of games before. i've never lost a wager, remember?”
you don't look convinced at all. in fact, you look as if you've arrived at the brink of seething. “and if you do? for once in your life, you lose?” you prod him for more. for something, for anything – perhaps, for a promise that he won't do it again.
(but you know aventurine, you know there would be no such promise.)
“then i lose,” he says, final and resigned. “there's really nothing else to it,” he tries to offer you another smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes. “hey. at least, you'll be there to witness my spectacular fall, right? it'll be a show to remember.”
he nearly doesn't manage to keep up the façade. it's already as precarious as it can be. you don't reply to him this time – instead, you let go of his hand to wipe at your cheeks. his gaze trails after your fingers and it freezes upon seeing the pearly tears falling free from your eyes.
aventurine has never seen you cry before. you're always so stone-faced, so hard to break that he recalls almost cheering when he heard you laugh for the first time. that was when you finally won a round of poker against him. a pity, he would've reminisced about the memory more. . . if only the matter of losing and winning a game isn't as serious as it is now.
“don't say that,” you mutter, harshly wiping away at the incessant tears pouring from your eyes more than you'd ever allow them to. some make their way into your mouth, they taste just as bitter as your current frustration. does he truly value his life so little? you can't fathom it, you can't fathom him at all.
but there is one thing you were certain of, at the very least: “you hired me to protect you,” you shake your head unrelentingly, “so i'll do it. until you throw me away, i won't let you die.”
you've stopped crying then. aventurine feels remorse; the tears that you shed because of him are starting to dry. the selfish part of him wants to reach out and brush them away with his thumb – but would you let him? would this lead you further down the rabbit hole that is him? in the end, he decides against it.
“. . .i'm sorry,” he sighs instead, raking a hand through his messy blond hair. whatever it is he is apologizing for, he doesn't have a clue either. he lets his eyes slip shut. he can't bear to look at you, can't bear to look at his pitiful reflection in your eyes.
(he's not worth caring about, can't you see? he dances hand in hand with death – there is no need to subject yourself to being a spectator.)
the two of you then part ways that night with shallow pleasantries on your tongues. no inside jokes, no evident yearning for the other to stay, no more than an awkward exchange of “i'll see you tomorrow.”
on his way 'home', regret and relief clash to form something inexplicably hollow inside kakavasha's chest. he wanted to wipe away your tears—what a regret—but if he did, they would've burned on his skin and became another mark to haunt him—what a relief he didn't. and frankly, if destiny is about to reap his debt, he'd rather go with no regrets at all.
whether those regrets include you? he doesn't have an answer just yet.
(the name at the bottom of his contract with fate is signed as kakavasha. but you wouldn't recognize that name. not as him, at least.)
aventurine whose eyes can't flutter close at night ever since thoughts of you fill his mind more than they already do before. you care for him, you want him to live—all his fault, he allowed himself to get too close—but these realizations are rooted in too deep and refuse to leave. what to do, what to do, what to do?
it isn't supposed to turn out like this.
what he and you have is meant to be transactional; he'd be spared from unnecessary scuffles and you'd be compensated with monetary payment. he means to keep it superficially fun; for him to tease you with jests—so you'd stay and save him from the deafening silence in his head—and for you to dismiss him with that adorably annoyed look on your face. just some silly banter, that's it.
so then, since when are there rounds of poker where he'd coo over your frown when you lost? or the sound of your lecturing after he secretly got you a high-end item? or meals shared together where you'd bicker over the bill? or bandages in your favorite color kept inside his bedside table? since when do you start to care? . . .since when does he start to care?
think of something else.
kakavasha tosses and turns in his bed, but the soft pillows and blanket do nothing to quell these bothers of his. are feelings always this complicated? he places a hand over his eyes, tired and exhausted, and stares at the ceiling as if it could provide him with an answer.
but there's no use.
in a moment void of logical thinking, he reaches for his phone and hovers a finger over your name in his contacts. he is usually good friends with bad ideas – but not this time, he sets his phone down and lets out a frustrated sigh that only his expensive pillows are there to hear.
(for gaiathra's sake, he hasn't even told you his real name yet.)
aventurine who becomes awfully distant the next time he sees you. you accompany him to meetings with clients per usual, but it's different. . . he talks to you succinctly, not verbosely with that trademark grin of his. his face is bereft of the things you grow to like seeing on him. a sincere smile instead of one just for show, for example. but even that's difficult to ask for since he only speaks to fill the silence with empty chatter. he doesn't look you in the eyes either; you feel a pang of hurt, you've always loved his eyes.
aventurine who discards all thoughts of you as soon as he steps inside pier point to be assigned a project. a conclave between the stonehearts is a matter of top confidentiality and you, dutifully, are ordered to wait for him outside the office. though, he'll admit; your absence by his side actually does leave a gaping void—such hypocrisy, really—but at least, those pesky voices in his head know how to shut up when it comes to work.
“penacony. . . is diamond finally ready to do something about it?”
aventurine rests his left hand on the small of his back, fiddling with the clubs-shaped detailing on the fabric there. it looks like an act of idleness from afar, but anyone observant enough would know it's a way to subdue whatever nerves he wishes to hide.
he waits for the person in front of him, gazing at the purplish-red sky of pier point at sunset, to speak. for their next words shall mark the start of his next journey in fate's course.
aventurine who hesitates to let you come to penacony with him at first. but it'd be poor reasoning not to, since some might have a bone to pick with him as the corporation's representative. . . and he knows you'll protest to come with anyway. fine then, situationship discomfiture be damned – not even a second after he steps out of the meeting, his neon eyes finally meet yours. “so, how does a trip to penacony sound?” he announces with a confident smile. you blink, noticing how his lips are wobbling at the sides. you don't say no, however. (if only the two of you know what sort of ride you're getting yourselves into.)
— thanks for reading! reblogs with comments are most appreciated. why don't we all sob over this man like it's a cryfest ♡
#hsr x reader#aventurine x reader#—stellaronhvnters.#honkai star rail x reader#aventurine x you#hsr headcanons#hsr imagines#hsr fluff#hsr angst#seelestial.inks
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Hurt
Leah Williamson x Reader
Summary: You're a sergeant in the British Army and after breaking some promises it begins to effect yours and Leah's marriage, risking your relationship with your daughter.
A/N: I dont love how the ending of this came out, but nonetheless 10k words of angst with a hint of fluff. As always put your requests in my asks!
Based on this request
You were ten years old when you met Leah for the first time. She was a thin, tall girl, with sandy blonde hair, and a fringe blowing in her eyes. You were trialing with the Arsenal Academy, having just moved to London. Leah had already been an established player on the team, having played for a few years, but they encouraged all their current players to attend the trial. The first thing she noticed about you was the goalkeeper gloves covering your hands, not many girls your age were willing to play keeper, not to mention enjoyed it. Leah certainly didn’t fancy herself a time in net, frankly she would do anything to avoid going in, she thought you were weird for liking it. The next thing she noticed was that you were taller than her, at that age Leah was always the tallest on the team, she thought it was weird you were so tall.
After a few practices, Leah started to pick up on how fiercely competitive you were, similar to how she was. Most of the girls on your team didn’t care about winning in training and would rather have a good time with their mates, but Leah could see the look in your eye, the way you clenched your jaw, and how you would rapidly open and close your hands after each shot that slipped past you, being trapped by the netting behind you. She liked that about you, how badly you wanted to win at everything you did, this shared passion for winning is what first sparked your friendship.
You weren’t used to having friends, never staying in one place for long enough to make any. Your dad was a captain in the British Army, meaning by your young age you had already lived in more countries than you could remember. This move was different though, you knew you weren’t going to be packing up soon and leaving, this time was for good. This time was for good because your dad was no longer in the Army, he wasn’t even your dad anymore, he was killed on a random Tuesday, in a country you couldn’t pronounce, on what he promised was his last deployment.
It was after dinner time when two men, dressed in the suit your dad wore when he married your mom, knocked on your door. You parents taught you never to open the door for strangers, but when you looked out the window and saw the men in uniforms you assumed they were friends with your dad.
You opened the door and looked up at the tall men, “My daddy isn’t home right now, he’s on a work trip,” they always called his deployments ‘work trips’, your parents didn’t want you to know the seriousness of what he was doing so they settled on calling his deployments his work trips.
The man on the right had a soft smile as he bent down to your level, “We’re actually here to talk with your mum, is she here?”
You nodded your head quickly and turned to go get her. As soon as you turned around you saw her standing in the doorway, a horrified expression on her face. You weren’t sure why she looked so scared it was just your dad’s friends. She knew what they were there for, the horrifying reality of many military spouses and family members. This was something she had nightmares about since he started deploying. A repeating nightmare of men coming to her door to tell her the love of her life was dead.
“Go to your room sweetie,” your mom told you breathlessly.
You gave her a confused look, but before you could ask why she sternly repeated herself. You ran up the stairs, knowing she really meant it, but you didn’t go to your room, you sat hiding behind the wall at the top of the stairs. You tried listening to what the men were saying, but you didn’t hear anything until the gut wrenching sobs that escaped your mom.
You ran down the steps and attached yourself to your mom’s side, not knowing why she was so sad, but knowing she needed you. She pulled you into a tight hug and continued to sob into you.
Later that night when her sobs softened, she pulled you onto the couch and told you what the men had told her, that your dad died. You tried your best to stay strong for your mom, but you couldn’t help the sobs that wrecked your small body.
It had been a few months since you saw your dad, but after you found out about his passing the only thing you could remember was the last thing he told you, “Look after your mom for me, she gets sad when I’m gone. I’m always proud of you baby.”
Your dad told you to look after your mom and that is exactly what you did. You held her while she cried after work, this happened every night for months. And after you held her, she would send you to bed and there you could cry. You never let your mom see you upset, you thought it would make everything harder for her, so you cried to yourself at night.
For a long time, you were sad, your dad was your hero, you always wanted to be just like him. Leah helped when you were sad, it made you feel better and distracted you from thinking about your dad when the two of you hung out. You and Leah lived in different neighborhoods and when to different primary schools when you were young, but every day you would get off at her bus stop and walk over to her house. Your mom was a nurse, she worked long days in the hospital, oftentimes not getting home until after you had already finished training.
So, saying you hung out with Leah a lot was an understatement, you’d go to her house after school, drive together to training, then go back to her house and wait for your mom came to get you. You didn’t see you mom much, but whenever you did, she was not in a good mood, either about to go into or just come off a long shift. She was always angry when she’d pick you up from Leah’s. She was angry until you got home, she took a seat on your couch with her special drink, and eventually fall asleep. Before you went to bed you’d turn the tv off and cover her in a blanket.
You loved your mom and knew everything she was doing was for you, but you couldn’t help but miss your dad. You would never dare tell you mom about how much you missed him, remembering back to the last time you did and being met with a slap across your face that kept your cheek red for nearly three days. You told her how sad you were and how much you missed him, and she started yelling about how she missed him more than you and that you would never understand how much she missed him. The alcohol was clear on her breath, but you didn’t notice at that age.
The next day you told Leah and her mom that you had tripped in the garden, Leah believed you, but even though her mom wasn’t so sure she let you on your way, making sure to keep an extra close eye on your mood the next few days. It was hard to tell if anything was different with you, since you got to London you had become much better at hiding your feelings. You wanted to look after your mom so you wouldn’t let her see you sad. You also didn’t want to talk about your feelings, so you hid it from everyone. You got horribly used to keeping your feelings to yourself, so you would just bottle them up, hoping no one would notice. Your dad was a strong man, you never saw him cry and you wanted to be just like him, so no one would see you cry.
Even as you got older and didn’t need to spend as much time at Leah’s, now being old enough to stay home alone, you still found yourself taking the bus to Leah’s neighborhood and spending afternoons before training there. Oddly enough the older you got the earlier your mom was getting out of work, you’d arrive home from training to see her passed out on the couch, with a bottle of whatever her alcohol of choice was that day on the table beside her.
You would put your stuff away in your room before cooking dinner, eating your serving, plating your mother’s to put on the table aside her for whenever she woke up, and then would go to your room for the night. You didn’t like to hang around for when your mother woke up, whenever you were there, she would find something to yell at you about. Nothing you could do would be good enough for her and then she’d drag your dad into it, telling you how you would never make him proud. Having heard her say that to you since the day he died you decided you’d join the army as soon as you were of age, you know that would make him proud.
You were fifteen when you were drunk at a party and kissed Leah. You had been harboring feelings for her for a few years at that point. When you were younger you weren’t sure what those feelings were, having never had many friends you assumed you just liked her as a friend. As you got older, and people started dating you realized that you were falling for the blonde girl. It was easy to hide for a while, you both always hung out and you were able to hide those feelings like you did with any other feeling.
However, that night under the influence of a bit of alcohol you couldn’t hold in those feelings anymore. When you kissed her, she was shocked for a moment, but quickly kissed you back. She had been feeling the same way for a while but didn’t think you saw her that way. You started dating a week later and had been together ever since.
You were in the stands when Leah made her debut for the full team at 17 and she was there for you the day you graduated your final phase of training at 18. Leah wasn’t necessarily overjoyed at the prospect of you joining the Army, but you had talked about since the day you met, and she was never going to stand in the way of what was your dream. She was going to stand by your side through it as you were doing it for her.
You got married ten years into your relationship, a beautiful ceremony just outside London, surrounded by your friends, co-workers, and families. You were dressed in dressed blues adorned with medals you were oh so proud of as Leah looked astonishing in her elegant white gown.
You both were 30 when Leah won the World Cup, however, you weren’t there to witness it. Instead of being there to witness history being made you were halfway through a deployment to the Middle East watching the games on the rare occasion you had access to the internet.
When you arrived home four months later, you and Leah went on holiday to celebrate your homecoming and her world victory. You were sat at a nice dinner to celebrate the last day of a lovely holiday when Leah told you she wanted to have a baby. It was a conversation you had before, both of you knew you wanted kids, but you didn’t want to get pregnant and at the time Leah wasn’t sure if she would be willing to put her career on hold to have a baby. But now, after having completed international football, she decided she was ready to pause her career and fulfil both of your dreams.
It was the perfect time to have a baby, Leah didn’t have any major international tournaments the following year and you had just gotten home from a deployment and likely wouldn’t be sent away for at least a few more years. You started the IVF process as soon as you arrived home from holiday and after two rounds were officially expecting a baby girl. Amelia Lily Y/L/N Williamson was born on a sunny September day and was immediately your entire world.
The next time you were deployed was when Amelia was 2 years old, you told her the same thing your mom used to tell you about your father, that you were going on a work trip. 8 months later when you came home Amelia had a rough time adjusting to you being back in the home, clearly affected by your absence.
The fighting with Leah started soon after you came home, it wasn’t every night and was never anything physical, but you and Leah would argue about your career. You were lucky that you hadn’t been stationed outside of England since 24, but the deployments every few years took a toll on your relationship. She had been asking about you leaving the Army since you got married, she wanted you home more, and didn’t want to be having to worry about you possibly dying overseas in the same manner your father did.
It was 2 weeks after you had gotten home, and Amelia still wasn’t quite used to you being there yet. She wouldn’t let you handle bath time alone, wouldn’t let you play with her, and wouldn’t let you put her to bed without Leah there as well.
You were sat on the edge of Amelia’s bed, attempting to read her a story before she went to bed, but she wouldn’t calm down, “I want Mama,” the small girl cried pushing a hand against your chest.
You ran a hand through her blonde hair, “Mama will be here soon, lovie, I’m just going to get started on your story while we wait for her.”
She clenched her fists and pounded them into her bed, “I don’t want Mummy bedtime story, I want Mama bedtime story,” the small girl cried.
Since you got home you and Leah had tried to give you more one on one time with Amelia, hoping that she would get more used to you being around, but every time you tried it ended this same way. Leah wasn’t busy right now, she was sat on the couch in your living room, hoping to remain there until she heard the story finish. Leah had done the beginning of Amelia’s nighttime routine, her bath, her teeth, getting her dressed, but hoped that she’d allow for you to handle the story.
You sighed and looked to your daughter with pleading eyes, “I’m reading the same story Mama reads you, Mama will be here soon, but we’re just going to read the story,” you held up the book to show her the familiar cover page.
She flipped onto her stomach and dug her head into her pillow crying, “I don’t want you Mummy, I want Mama.”
You sighed, the guilt of seeing your daughter like this after your absence was eating you alive. You knew how hard she took it when Leah left for weekend away trips, but you never expected her to act like this upon your return. You had expected her to be excited to see you home, knowing you both were always close. Ever since she was born, she loved being with you. After Leah would feed her, you would take your daughter to burp and then she’d fall asleep against your chest, one hand gripped to your shirt and cuddled as close to you as possible. She always loved being in your arms, even as she grew your arms were huge around her, she always felt so safe with you, anytime she was upset everything seemed to melt away the second she was in your strong arms.
You sat there rubbing your hands over your face when Amelia began kicking her feet into her mattress, “I want Mama, Mama doesn’t leave me,” now she was screaming.
You sighed rubbing a hand on her back, “I don’t like leaving you sweetie, but I have to for work.”
“Mama leaves on work trips and Mama comes home. You leave for work trips, and you don’t come home,” the small girl continued was sobbing into her pillow.
It broke your heart to hear your little girl like this. From your own experience you remember how hard it was having your father leave on his deployments, but you don’t remember ever getting to the extent that you saw your daughter right now. You were always overjoyed the minute your dad got home, you’d be waiting at the base for him and jumping into his arms as soon as he reached you. You wouldn’t let him out of your sights for weeks after he’d return, too scared that he’d disappear again.
You couldn’t help but feel like you failed her, this little girl and her mom were your whole world and you felt like you failed them both. Here you were sat on the edge of a little bed, staring into small eyes identical to those of the love of your life as she laid in bed sobbing because you were sat next to her.
You sighed and had you head in your hands when suddenly you heard a familiar voice in the doorway, “Mama is here now let’s read your bedtime story.”
Leah walked around to the opposite side of the toddler bed and sat on the edge, one hand rubbing down your daughters back, “Would you like to read your story now?” she asked the toddler.
You and Leah looked at each other confused as you heard a quiet mumbling into the pillow, neither of you sure what she had said, “What was that, lovie? Can you speak up, please?” you softly asked.
She turned her head to face your wife and grabbed her sleeve, “I don’t want Mummy here for story time. Just want Mama.”
Your heart broke all over again as you heard her words, Leah looked to you with tired and heartbroken eyes, before she spoke, “It’s okay sweetie, we can do our usual story time with Mummy.”
Amelia dug her head back into the pillow as she repeatedly shook her head no.
Leah went to speak again, but you cut her off putting your hand up, “It’s okay Le, I’ll go,” you leaned down to place a kiss on your daughter’s head, “I love you, lovie, sleep well,” you stood up and walked out of the room not before looking back from the doorway and seeing Amelia roll over and cuddle into Leah’s side.
The first dew nights you understood that she was upset, and over your calls with Leah, knew it was going to take some getting used to for the 3-year-old. However, you never expected it to drag out this long. She used to love you reading to her before bed, she’d cuddle into your side while Leah read to her, almost always falling asleep in your arms.
You dragged yourself down the halls and into your shared bedroom with Leah. You changed into a pair of shorts and an old, oversized army hoodie. You went into the bathroom and stared at yourself in the mirror for a while. Every time you came home from a deployment you looked to have aged about 5 years, you were only 33, but by the dark circles under your eyes, and the stress wrinkles covering your face, people could’ve guessed you were well into your 40s.
Deployments were always hard, out in the sun all day, working all day, not sleeping well, and being away from Leah. This deployment was a lot worse than the others, not only being away from Leah, but also Amelia took a large not toll on you, and to make it worse it was a rough deployment. Your troop was sent on more missions than you had ever experienced on a deployment before, you were stationed in a high combat area. Multiple soldiers under your command had died in combat and being their sergeant, you took their deaths especially hard. You felt like you were the reason these soldiers weren’t going to return to their families.
Your PTSD was also worse than ever before. You’ve had it since your early deployments, but it never went past a few nightmares, now it wasn’t just at night, you were starting to have panic attacks. They would come without warning, you were at the park with Leah and Amelia yesterday afternoon when a loud scream in the distance sent your mind back to the battlefield, you suddenly were shoving your wife and daughter behind your back, wanting to protect them from whatever caused the screams. Amelia was terrified seeing you like that and it took Leah nearly 20 minutes to calm you down and convince you that they were safe.
You remember when this used to happen to your dad, you didn’t realize what it truly was at the time, but now you understand. It would take you mom a while to calm him down, but you weren’t scared of him when it happened, you knew that he was only ever doing it to protect you. Amelia didn’t see it this way, all she saw was you panicking trying to protect her and Leah. It put Leah in a complicated spot, trying to calm you down while also trying to convince your daughter that you were okay.
Your hands were leaning against the counter and your head hanging low when you felt a hand rubbing your back, you looked up in the mirror to see Leah’s face reflected right behind your shoulder, “She go down alright, once I finally left?”
Leah sighed, “It’s not like that-”
You cut her off before she could continue, “Yes, it is, Leah, our daughter hates me,” you turned away from the counter and walked into your bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Leah followed you into the room sat next to you placing a hand on your thigh, “She doesn’t hate you, y/n, she-”
You sharply cut her off again, “She’s just getting used to it, I know Leah, but I never had to get used to my dad being home, not like this. I was overjoyed when he was home, I wouldn’t let him out of my sight when he came home. He was my best friend, my hero, and I thought that’s how Amelia saw me, but clearly, I was wrong.”
Leah sighed rubbing circles into your thigh, “I wasn’t going to say that” she sent you a small glare, “So stop interrupting me,” you nodded, “I was going to tell you that she cried almost every night for the first month. She wanted to know where you were, she didn’t understand why you weren’t coming home and I didn’t know what to tell her,” Your wife sighed, “Every away match when she’d come with me, she would be so angry the whole trip, constantly complaining about how she was missing out on her Mummy and Amelia days. She missed you, love, she missed you so much she didn’t know how to handle it. She is mad that you left that’s why she’s taking it so hard.”
You wiped a hand over your face, “Well, what am I supposed to do about that now? She was mad that I left, I get that, but I’m home now and I’m trying, and she hardly lets me see her.”
The blonde defender rubbed her hand over your thigh, “You can try apologizing to her. Tell her that you’re sorry for leaving and that you won’t be leaving like that again.”
“You know I can’t tell her that, Leah. I may not be leaving soon, but eventually I’ll have to leave again.”
“Or you don’t have to leave again?”
You scoffed, “You know I can’t just tell the Army not to deploy me, I’ll have to leave again.”
Leah sighed and looked towards her feet, “I’m trying to say that maybe you should think about stepping away from the Army.”
You laughed, “That’s funny, love, leaving the Army,” You looked towards her and saw the serious look on her face, “You’re not kidding, are you?”
Her blue eyes met yours, “No, I’m not kidding.”
“I’m not leaving the Army, end of story.”
“You’re not even going to talk about it?”
You pushed yourself off the bed and turned to face the England captain, “There’s nothing to talk about, I’m not leaving the Army.”
Leah stood up and walked towards you a stern look and tone in her voice, “Why won’t you talk about it? Do you not care about your relationship with Amelia?”
You took a step back and pointed a finger towards her, “Don’t you dare bring her up. You know this has nothing to do with her.”
“How does it have nothing to do with her? You’re seeing now the consequences your career is having on her,” Your wife started to raise her voice, “This has everything to do with her, you’re destroying your relationship with her.”
You knew she had a point, that your career was affecting your relationship with your daughter. Anyone could tell that you leaving was affecting her, but what you failed to notice was how it also affected Leah. You never thought about how hard it was on her, she was always so excited to hear from you while you were away and celebrated every time you came home, it never crossed your mind how hard you being away was on her.
She noticed your hesitancy to answer, and you saw her seem to draw in on herself, she spoke softly, “And it’s not only affecting your relationship with her,” the blonde defender looked down at her feet.
“What are you trying to say, that my career is affecting us?”
Leah looked at you as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Of course it is.”
You looked at her and your expression dropped, “You never mentioned anything.”
Tears began to peak in her eyes, “I didn’t think I had to mention anything. I’ve been worrying about you over the course of your deployments for over ten years,” she wiped a tear as it began to fall, “Everyday you’re there I am absolutely terrified. Every time you reschedule a call because you’re going out, I stay awake for days, unable to sleep because I’m so worried sick over you,” the tears began falling harder, “Every there’s a knock on the door I’m terrified that I’m going to open it to the same thing your mom did when your dad died.”
“Don’t mention my dad to use him against me.”
She gasped, “I’m not using him against you. I’m trying to get you to understand why I think you should leave the military. I’m trying to get you to see it through my eyes, the eyes that are worried sick of her wife, the mother of her child, dying in a sandpit overseas.”
“Have I ever asked you to quit football?” you sharply asked.
Leah’s voice was raised now, “How is this the same as football?”
Your tone matched hers, “You’re gone all day at training and then leave for days at a time, I go on deployment once every few years, Leah.”
She scoffed again, “You’re gone once every few years for nearly a year at a time. And I know while I’m at football you’re not worried about me dying.”
You turned and began to walk out of the room, “I’m not leaving the Army, that’s final.”
Leah yelled out as you reached the doorway, “Please just think about it. Think about how much better our life could be with you at home, think about how this is affecting all of us.”
You nodded before turning and leaving Leah in the middle of your room, tears streaming down her face.
The truth was you thought about it, for about thirty seconds. You knew you weren’t going to leave the Army. While you heard everything Leah had said and hated the way she felt about the situation you knew that you weren’t going to leave the career you had made. The career you were so proud of, the life that you knew your dad would be proud of.
---
Now, two years later you stood in your kitchen, sobs wrecking from your wife after you just told her you would be deploying again in two weeks’ time. While Leah knew it was a longshot to get you to leave the Army two years ago, she thought that you would think it over and come around before they would get the chance to deploy you again.
She thought you would think about her, about Amelia, and realize that the right decision was to leave. She hoped that her retirement from football last year would spark something in you, but evidently it didn’t.
The strong former defender looked tiny as she leaned against the counter, her body wrecked by sobs, “Why are you doing this to us?”
Your hands were dug through your hair, “I’m not doing anything to us. This isn’t about our family it is about my career.”
Leah stood up and pushed her two hands against your chest, “This has everything to do with us, you’re leaving us again. I thought that you would finally stand up and choose me and your daughter over the Army, but clearly, I was wrong.”
“I’m not choosing anything over anyone. I’m going to war, to fight, and protect you. I am not choosing the Army over you; I’m choosing the Army for you.”
Leah’s sobs were lessened by her raised voice, “If you were choosing something for me, for us, you would’ve left the Army two years ago when your daughter could hardly look at you for months.”
She was right, it had taken Amelia nearly four months of you being home, to get over the betrayal she felt by your absence. It wrecked you seeing her like that, for so long, but the only thing you had at that time was the Army. Your career never turned its back on you, it celebrated your devotion, and you sacrifice. The only thing that helped you feel better during that time was going to work and knowing you were making a difference.
You lowered your voice, hoping to calm the situation, “I need to do this, love. You know what my career means to me.”
Leah’s expression was still cold, “Don’t call me that while you’re telling me that you’re choosing work over me.”
You slammed your fist against the countertop, “How many times do I need to tell you that I’m not choosing work over you. Nothing is more important to me than my family and the Army.”
Her hands covered her face, “Why is your family at the same level as your job? I would never have chosen football over you and our daughter. I gave up my career for a year just to have her.”
Your expression was stern and portrayed little emotions, “The Army is my family-”
The blonde cut you off, shoving you back again, “Stop saying that me and Amelia mean no more to you than the Army. In no world should your family be at the same level as your job.”
Now you were angry, “This isn’t just my job this is my life, this is my father’s legacy. I am committing myself to the same thing he did. I am living the life that he gave his entire existence to.”
“And do you want to die before you see your daughter turn ten?”
You sucked in a tight breath, “Don’t you dare say that to me.”
She gasped, “That’s the truth. It’s the harsh reality and it is the reason why you need to choose us over your job.”
“I’m not leaving the Army; I’ll be home in nine months and when I get home then, and we have this same conversation my answer will not change,” your cold expression never faltered.
She sighed and spoke the quietest since the beginning of the argument, “Then I’m leaving you.”
Your head whipped towards her, “What did you just say?”
More confidently this time, “I am leaving you and I’m taking Amelia with me. We can’t live like this anymore.”
“We’ve been together for 20 years you can’t just leave me.”
Leah leaned back against the counter, “And for the first 17 years I thought that me and our daughter came first. The last three years you’ve made it painfully obvious that isn’t true and I’m not going to raise my daughter in that environment.”
You crossed your arms, “I love you, Leah, I have for the past 20 years. I love Amelia and I have since the second she was born. You can’t leave me.”
You walked towards where Leah stood and reached to grab her hand. Your wife slipped away from the counter and crossed to the other side of the kitchen, “I know you love us, and you know that I love you too, but we can’t keep coming second to your career.”
“You don’t come second you-”
Leah cut you off, “Were on the same level, I know you’ve been telling me for years. I’m not going to put up with it anymore. Your family is supposed to come first and clearly, you’re not capable of that, so I’m done. You can try and fight it if you want, but I want to handle this between us. You know what is best for Amelia, you know that she is better off with me,” you just looked at her, unable to speak, “I’m going to pick her up from school, I hope you’re gone when I get back.”
“You’re not even going to let me say goodbye?”
Leah knew this meant that you agreed to her terms, you would give her full custody of your daughter. As much as it hurt, you knew that Leah was right. She would be able to give her the better life, Amelia would miss you for the first few months, but just like your last deployment, she would get over it and she would settle into her new life.
“You’re right, but you’re not staying here tonight. You can say goodbye during bedtime, but I want you gone before I go to bed.”
With that Leah walked out of your shared home, the home you had lived in for the last 8 years. You walked to your bedroom, the bedroom that held so many fond memories. In that room Leah told you that she was ready to have a baby, you did all the IVF shots there, you read the test confirming Leah’s pregnancy, felt Amelia move for the first time, spoke to your baby girl, held your daughter while she screamed during the night, and so many more.
Now here you stood, staring into your closet deciding what you wanted to take with you as you moved out of your beloved home. Moved out of this home by yourself, leaving your daughter and wife, soon to be ex-wife, behind.
There were a lot of tears that night as you said goodnight to your daughter. You had tears in your eyes and streaming down your cheeks as you knew it would be the last time you would see her for a long while. Tears were also streaming down her face as she cried for Leah, you had told her you would be deploying again, and she did not take it well. Once you told her she immediately shut down and wanted her Mama there, the woman who never left her behind.
She didn’t understand what this goodbye meant, and you didn’t have the heart to tell her. You promised your blonde daughter that you loved her and that you’d always protect her even if you were halfway across the world. So, you left that night under the gauge that you were deploying, not telling her that you would be gone for much longer than that now.
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It was six months later when you found yourself waking up under the bright, blinding lights of a hospital room. You weren’t sure where you were or what was happening as your breathing increased and you slowly began to panic. Sitting up quickly and searching the room for a sign of where you were.
The room was silent besides the sound of your labored breathings and subtle beeps from the machines on your bedside. It was a small room, but if anything was clear from the number of machines whirring beside you, it was that whatever you were here for was serious.
The white walls and lights lit up the room fully, but they were accompanied by the sun shining in from the large windows. It looked as every other hospital you had visited; the room your mom was brought to when she cut her hand open while drinking in your teenage years, the room Leah was in after her ACL tear, the room Amelia was born in, and the room you visited injured soldiers in.
Even though you didn’t know what brought you here, every hospital room granted the same feeling, fear, doubt, shock. Your entire body was in an achy pain, moving ever so slightly caused pain to radiate through your entire body. Even just the lights sent pain searing through your head.
The door was opened, and a female doctor rushed to your bedside, “Calm down, Sergeant, you’re okay, you’re safe.”
You gave her a confused look with wide eyes, “Where am I?” you croaked out, your voice scratchy.
“You’re in the hospital, you were injured in the field a week ago. You have been in a coma since.”
Your eyes widened, you had no memory of an injury, “What happened?”
You were five months into your deployment when you were informed of your next base move. Your unit was being sent to a different base, nearly four hours away, in a much more dangerous area. The British squad there was slowly being overpowered by the enemy and they needed more British soldiers there to defend.
This deployment had been noticeable easier than your previous one. You had been stationed in a much safer area than last time and rarely had to go out on missions. You were stationed far away from any enemy camps and hardly came across anyone in your day-to-day. Your squad was only sent on missions when a British troop was in danger.
You hadn’t lost anyone in your squad, but this seemed a bit too good to be true. You hadn’t been on the front lines often, but when you were it was highly dangerous. It was a near miracle that none of your soldiers had lost their lives.
Now you found yourself in the passenger seat of your Foxhound, your right-hand man for this deployment in the driver’s seat beside you. You were about two hours into the drive when the unimaginable happened.
You were driving along a dirt road, the same you had been on for the whole journey, and nearly identical to ever other road in this area. There were no buildings around, no people, and no vehicles other than your unit’s. All of a sudden you hit a bump, for the second you recognized it as a rock in the road, but then suddenly your truck was being blown through the air and flipping over itself.
The IED blew the back of your truck tumbling over the front. The flip crushed the and folded in the hood, trapping your left leg in the damage. The other vehicles in your unit weren’t damaged and the other soldiers came running to the aide of you and your partner. You were unconscious the minute the roof of the truck hit the ground, and as your men reached you, they quickly realized you were stuck in the damage.
They were able to get the other man out, his injuries seemed minor compared to yours. You had severe injuries that even your soldiers could assume were nearly deadly. The aide unit reached you an hour later, your soldier sat by your side protecting the vehicle incase any insurgents heard the explosion. The rescue team was able to get you out of the damage in due time, but at the cost of your left leg. They treated you at a nearby aide station until you were stable enough to be transferred to a hospital.
This was a week ago, now you laid in your hospital bed, finally waking from the medically induced coma the doctors had placed you in due to the traumatic brain injury you suffered. As the doctor explained your injuries, losing your leg, broken ribs, cracked skull, TBI, shattered wrist, and many internal injuries, you zoned out not truly believing the words falling from the doctor’s mouth. You lifted the blanket covering your legs and looked down to see your missing extremity, it was almost as if you didn’t believe what the doctor was saying.
Your breathing was still fast, but it was beginning to regulate as you realized what was happening. All you were thinking about now was how much you wished someone was by your side, but you knew that wasn’t happening. This was the life you had chosen for yourself, a life alone, a life with the Army as your family, the life you chose over your real family. You knew that Leah wasn’t there for you and wasn’t coming to you.
The doctor interrupted your thoughts when she spoke, “Sergeant, we will be transferring you to London shortly. You’ll be remaining there until their doctors declare you healthy enough to return home. You’ll be heavily sedated for the trip, otherwise due to your injuries you would be in unimaginable pain.”
You simply nodded your head, not knowing how to respond to the doctor’s words. As they began to prepare you for transfer your head was empty. The only thing you were sure of at the moment was the pain radiating through your body. There wasn’t much running through your head, you weren’t sure what to think of the situation. And as they put you under the sedation the only thing you were thinking of was about was what would happen once you were back in London, where you would go.
You woke up a few hours later, lying flat in a new hospital bed, looking up at a ceiling nearly identical to the one you were in hours earlier. The same bright lights, white ceiling, whirring of medical devices on your bedside. You heard quiet talking in the distance when you leaned up on your elbows and saw a man in a white coat standing in the doorway speaking to someone that was blocked by the wall.
You watched for a moment, they hadn’t noticed you were awake, and then turned to look around the room. You spotted a bag which you could never forget sitting on the couch to your right, Leah was here.
Wincing as you moved up the bed, now leaning against the bed frame. The doctor turned to look into the room, clearly having heard your pained noise. Once he saw you awake and sitting up, he walked in, Leah following behind, “Nice to see you awake Sergeant, I hope the flight over was smooth.”
You smirked, “Wouldn’t be able to tell you if it wasn’t,” you looked past the doctor to see Leah hesitantly standing next to the doorway, leaning against the wall.
“I’m just going to do a few quick checks on you and then I’ll leave you to get some rest.”
The doctor came to your bedside and took notes in your chart with some of the information on the many devices connected to your body. As he did some hands-on checks you couldn’t stop staring right past him and at the English defender standing in the back. You weren’t sure why she was here; you had changed your emergency contact right before you left on deployment, fearing this exact situation. You knew where you stood with Leah and didn’t want her to be called in if something like this were to happen.
The doctor finished her checks and confirmed that everything looked good in relation to your current state. He looked to Leah as he announced you’d likely be staying in the hospital for about a week, they needed to keep a close eye on your recovery.
The doctor left the room after mentioning he’d be back soon to check on you once again. Leah thanked the doctor and looked over toward you, there was a silence for a minute neither of you quite knowing what to say, but you broke it, “You don’t have to be here, Leah.”
The blonde slowly approached your bed, “Don’t even try telling me to leave.”
“I’m sorry they called you, I’m not sure why they did. I changed my mom to my emergency contact; I don’t know why they-”
Leah cut you off as she sat on the edge of your hospital bed, “They didn’t call me,” you gave her a confused look, “Your mom called me. Why’d you put her down?”
You had a strained relationship with your mom since you moved out of the house. She tormented you after your father died, always drunk and always angry. It was when you enlisted that she really hated you, she didn’t understand why you would put yourself into the same situation that killed your dad. At the time you didn’t understand her anger, you thought what you were doing was honorable, was something to be proud of. What you knew now, from being with Leah, was that she was simply terrified, just like Leah was. You moved out after you enlisted and after the argument that followed.
You and her had some contact, mostly through her expenses and medical care. As much as Leah hated it, you were always there for your mother whenever she called. And while it was never personal and you never introduced her to your daughter, you always took care of whatever she needed. She’d call you for money, you received all her bills, you took care of everything because even with how horribly she treated you, there was always that part of you who understood her. You understood the spiral she had after your father’s passing and he told you to take care of her, and you would never disobey one of his orders. Her drinking was something you delt with from the moment your dad passed. What you didn’t notice as a kid, was that she wasn’t attending work. When you were at school and Leah’s hour assuming she was working in the hospital, she really was at home drinking. The alcohol has taken its toll on her body and her health was now steadily declining.
Leah, obviously, knew all of this having been there for you through it all. Which is why she was so confused to find out that you had her placed in the spot your ex-wife once held.
You looked down in your lap, “Well, I needed to take you off it and I didn’t know who else to put. I filled it out assuming it wouldn’t have to be used, but here we are.”
She let out a soft chuckle, “Well here we are, Y/N.”
You met her eyes, staring into the blue, “What’d she say when she called you?”
Leah sighed, “I don’t think that’s important.”
Your expression grew more serious, “Yes, it is, please tell me.”
The blonde sighed and looked to the ceiling, “She was clearly drunk when she called, it was after you had arrived here, so I’m not really sure what she thought when she got the first call you were hurt, but she didn’t call me then,” Leah took your, uninjured, hand in hers, “She told me that you were here, but that she didn’t remember what the doctor told her about what happened or how you were, so I was half-expecting to show up here and you be in even worse shape. She said that this was your own fault, and that you did this to yourself by choosing to be in the Army. Then she told me it was my fault for not convincing you to leave sooner, started blaming me for killing you,”
You squeezed her hand, “This isn’t your fault, you tried to get me to leave. This was my own fault.”
She sighed, “I know, and I told her I tried to get you to leave, but she just kept saying that this was the same thing that happened with your dad. That he didn’t love her or you enough to leave and it killed him.”
“She has always said I’m just like him, but you know this isn’t your fault. You know I love you and Amelia more than anything.”
Leah’s eyes met yours, “I know you do; I was so scared when she called, I thought you were dead.”
“I might be better off dead at this point,” the defender slapped your thigh, “I lost my leg Leah I can’t be a soldier anymore. I lost you and Amelia when I decided to stay in, and now I’ve lost the career I risked everything for.”
“I’m going to help you get through it, don’t worry.”
You sighed, “You don’t have to do that Leah, I know how you feel about me.”
“I’m going to help you; I’m not just throwing you to the curb.”
You leaned your head against the pillow, “I know I fucked up; I don’t expect you to forgive me and help me just because I got hurt. I’ll figure it out.”
“You don’t have to, I’m taking you home once they let you out of here,” she looked towards the foot of the bed, “I’m helping you get through this, we’ll work through it together.”
“What about Amelia? Won’t it confuse her?”
Leah sighed and spoke softly, “I never told her we split.”
You gave her a confused look, “You didn’t tell her?”
She had a serious look on her face, “No, I didn’t,” the confused look was still plastered across your face, “I might’ve regretted it after it really sunk in.”
Suddenly you felt a jolt of optimism deep in your stomach, you might not have really lost her, “What do you mean?”
Tears started to prick in her eyes, “I was just so terrified of losing you. The last deployment was so difficult on all of us, and I just didn’t think I could go through it again,” you reached to hold the blonde’s hand, “After you said you’d think about leaving I just thought that seeing how it had affected Amelia would convince you to leave, so part of me spent those years just expecting you to leave. When you came home and said you’d be going back I couldn’t handle it.”
You sighed, “I’m sorry, Le.”
“I just was so terrified that I would lose you and had convinced myself you couldn’t come out of every deployment healthy and that eventually it would catch up to you.”
You smirked, “Are saying you jinxed me?” Leah shot you a glare, “Sorry, sorry just trying to lighten the mood.”
The captain let a small smile cross her face, “You always are trying to lighten the mood.”
“You’re always too serious,” you countered.
“We even each other out.”
“Yes, we do.”
You spent the next week in hospital, Leah would come every day to visit for a few hours while Amelia was in school. You had asked her not to bring your daughter to see you, you didn’t want her to see you in the state you were in. You and Leah were slowly amending things, you knew it would be a long journey for the two of you, but you were taking the proper steps there. You spent the time in the hospital talking any things through, it seemed like the first time in a while you both had a proper conversation about what was going on in your heads. Leah told you her fears and you expressed why you were so desperate to stay in.
It was a week after arriving at the London hospital when you were crutching your way into your home. Leah had opened your car door for you and was rushing around you to grab the front door as well, she truly was a miracle worker for you. You had gone home during schooltime which was best, it gave you a few hours to settle back in before Amelia returned home. Leah had told her about everything going on so that the young girl wasn’t startled to see you, but you knew she wouldn’t understand completely until she saw you, and frankly you and Leah didn’t yet know how she’d react to seeing you.
You laid on the couch for the next few hours your foot and new stump were laid on the couch next to you while Leah seemed to be running at one hundred miles a minute trying to make sure you had everything.
You looked over the back of the couch to Leah in the kitchen, “Would you come sit down Le? I’ve got everything I need I promise.”
She continued her rummaging through the cabinets, “I’m just trying to fix you a snack I don’t want you to worry about anything.”
“I’m not hungry and the only thing I’m worried about right now is your heart rate,” you could hear Leah laugh from the kitchen, “I’m serious, love, come sit with me and relax.”
You leaned up as the defender approached the couch, sliding into where your head used to be and then relaxing you to lay in her lap, “How are you feeling? Do you need ice?”
“The same as the last twenty times in the past half hour, I’m fine, Leah.”
She ran her fingers through your hair, “I just worry about you, this is a big change and I want to make everything go as smoothly as possible for you.”
You smiled, “I appreciate it, seriously, but I am as okay as I can be right now. You’re being perfect I promise.”
“Just think of it as me repaying you for taking care of me while I was pregnant.”
You scoffed, “Oh, I was not this insufferable when I was taking care of you.”
This sent Leah into a spiral of explaining everything you used to do for her that annoyed her. Her rant lasted many minutes as it seemed like she had been waiting to tell you this ever since. The blonde went on and on explaining everything you used to do and how you hovered which only got worse overtime.
A few minutes into her rant you noticed the time, “Oh shit, don’t you need to go pick up Amelia? When’s school end?”
“I’m not leaving, my mum is grabbing her for me.”
You leaned to sit up as Leah pressed a hand against your back to help you. You swung your leg around, so you were sat next to her, “She’s going to hate me again isn’t she.”
Leah grabbed your hand, “She won’t hate you, just like she didn’t the first time. I can’t promise it won’t take some adjusting, but I can tell you she’s taken the news of you coming home a lot better than last time. She’s older now, she understands everything a bit better.”
“I just can’t deal with her hating me again. It almost broke me the last time, seeing the look on her face every time I would walk into the room.”
She sighed, “I can’t say it’s going to be easy, and I bet it’ll be hard for her to see you like this, but it’ll be okay in the end.”
“She’s going to be scared to look at me, I mean look,” you motioned to your legs, one covered in cuts and bruises and the other missing.
The blonde rubbed circles on your hand, “It’ll be hard, but she’s a strong little girl. She’ll understand I don’t want you to worry. She’s been excited about you coming home, we’ve been talking about it.”
You raised an eyebrow, “She’s excited?”
Leah smiled, “Ever since I told her you were in the hospital, she’s been asking me about when you’d come home. She’s been waiting for this, so listen when I tell you she’ll be okay.”
Your conversation was interrupted by the front door opening, Leah squeezed your hand before jumping up. She walked towards the door to see a yelling blonde girl, “Mama!”
Leah caught her as she jumped into her arms, standing up and pressing a kiss to the side of her head, “I missed you sweetie, how was school?”
“It was good we colored and then I got to play football during break time!” you could hear the smile on the small girls face as she spoke, them not far enough into the house to see you.
You reached for your crutches and used them to slowly get yourself to your feet. You took one step on them when Leah heard the noise and whipped her head around, “Sit back down we’ll come to you.”
She had a stern look on her face, but you shook your head as you crutched towards her and the small girl, “I’m okay Le,” you saw your daughter’s head peak over her mother’s shoulder meeting your eyes, “Hi, baby girl.”
Leah gently placed her back on the ground before whispering to her, “Remember what we talked about, being gentle with Mummy.”
You had stopped a few meters behind your wife, as the small girl slowly walked over to you, “I missed you, lovie,” you smiled down at her.
“I missed you too, Mummy,” She hugged you, on the side of your good leg, and you saw Leah winced, about to talk, but you shook her head telling her it was okay.
“Should we move to the couch so I can give you a proper cuddle?” She nodded and followed close behind as you crutched to the couch.
You sat by the arm and Amelia quickly climbed up to cuddle into your side, you wrapped an arm around her pulling her closer to your side. Leah hovered nearby and moved to sit down on the chair nearby.
“How was your work trip, Mummy?”
You and Leah both let out a soft laugh, “It was good at the beginning, I was hanging out with my friends all day,” Leah sighed, knowing this wasn’t the truth, “But I know Mama told you I got hurt at the end. I can explain it to you when you’re a little older.”
“Mama said the doctors had to take your leg. Why would they do that? That’s mean.”
You sighed, “You know what a car wreck is, right baby?” the small girl nodded, “Well, me and my friends were in a bad one and it hurt my leg very badly. My left was so bad that I couldn’t keep it anymore, it would’ve made me worse.”
She looked at you confused, “But now you can’t walk anymore or play with me and Mama in the garden.”
Your heart broke hearing your daughter speak. Your whole life would change now, and it was really setting in on how it was going to change. You knew that there were prosthetics, but nothing would give you back what you had before. Even with the advancements no prosthetic would be the same as having a leg.
Leah could see the tears starting to form and your eyes and took over the conversation, “Well, some special doctors are going to give your Mummy a robot leg once her leg is healed a little more. So, in a few months she’ll be able to walk again and even play with us in the garden.”
Her eyes lit up as she sat up and looked to you, “Really?”
There was a small crack in your voice as you looked to her, “Yep, they’re going to give me one and it’ll help me walk again. It will take a while until I’m ready for it, and then after that it will take a little while to get used to wearing it.”
She seemed to take this answer, “Does that mean you’ll be part robot?”
You laughed and ran a hand through her blonde hair, “I guess it does, I’ll be part robot.”
She cuddled back into your side one arm wrapped around your waist. You leaned down to place a kiss against her hair and then looked over to see Leah watching you lovingly. You motioned for her to come over and she took a spot on the other side of your daughter wrapping her arm around the both of you.
This was everything you missed and thought about while you were away. Having both of your girls back with you. You spent so many nights missing them and rotting with guilt over losing the both of them, but now you were here with your life put back together and in the arms of both of your girls.
You would have to adjust to this new life of injury, but you knew with these two you would get through it. They would be your motivation, getting back to your best would be for them, and they would be by your side every step of the way.
#leah williamson#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson imagine#woso#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso x reader
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Heyy!! Can you please write your thoughts on how long would sex with enha last🙏
TYSMMM<3
Ooh this is a good one😁
Heeseung: 45 minutes
Heeseung has good stamina and this is an average amount of time, but best believe it'll be the best 45 minutes of your life. Multiple rounds, orgasms, and just overall very pleasurable. Heeseung doesn't need a lot of time because he knows what he's doing. (And he's damn good at it)
Jay: 30 minutes
Depending on how horny Jay is, he could almost double this time, but on the regular thirty minutes of intimacy is all he can muster. Probably makes you cum before even thinking about fucking you, and then you both experiences two orgasms with him fucking you. After that he's ready for a warm shower and a cuddle sesh.
Jake: 20 minutes
Jake is a horny mf, fuck foreplay, he's getting straight to the point. He'd probably make you cum twice just trying to reach his own climax. He claims that he only needs twenty minutes to make you feel good. And he definitely does because every intimate moment with Jake feels way longer.
Sunghoon: 1 hour
Sunghoon can spend forever worshipping your body. This is no different. He'll start off with foreplay, probably eating you out or anything else to make you cum. And after that, everything is a blur. So many different positions, losing count of how many times you've had an orgasm. Probably extends the time by 15 minutes because he's fucking you in the shower or bathtub afterwards.
Sunoo: 30 minutes
Sunoo probably doesn't have the highest sex drive, but if you did, he'd do whatever to make you feel good. He tries to last long, but usually ends up having multiple orgasms, sometimes more than you. If he's tired after fucking you, you opt to ride him instead so you can do all the work. In the end, you're both tired and in need of cuddles.
Jungwon: 25 minutes
I think Jungwon personally can go longer than this, but this is probably the usual. Probably goes from you sucking him off to him fucking you. Doesn't hold back at all. Still probably managed to make you cum in seven minute intervals. In the end he cleans you up and gives you multiple hugs and kisses.
Riki: 15 minutes
Not really gonna give much bc its Riki, but I say fifteen minutes because I can't think of how experienced he would be. Fifteen minutes is enough for a little bit of foreplay and then both of you are able to cum before calling it quits. The whole experience is probably filled with kisses, and even more afterwards.
#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hyung line#enhypen hard headcanons#enhypen hard thoughts#enha smut#enhypen heeseung#sunghoon enhypen#enhypen jay#enhypen jake#enha sunoo#enha jungwon#enhypen niki
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hellooo! i loveddd ur cc country reader fic. do u think u could do one like that but with kate? hope ur doing okay!! <3
If She Ever Leaves Me . KM
pairing: country!kate martin x country wife!reader
synopsis: country kate <3
A/N: this is quite literally my favorite song of all time, lesbian country has a special place in my heart so i’m so excited for you guys to read this one!
word count: 6.2k
I see you watch her from across the room
Dancing her home in your mind
you were from another world, kate was convinced. dolled up in your red gingham sundress, the one lined with ivory lace and a sweet little bow that sat in between your breasts. your cowboy boots clunked rhythmically against the wooden boards on the old bars floor as you danced to the music. you had once had a drink in your hand, a fruity little cocktail because you couldn’t handle the strong stuff like kate did. but the glass was long forgotten when you left your girlfriends company to join in on the line dance.
kate remained seated on the leather bar stool, her own pair of boots propped up on the foot rest. her elbow was leaned up against the varnished bar as she swirled her drink mindlessly. her attention was no longer on the ice that slowly melted within the glass, but on you, in the midst of the friday night bustle. she had brought you to the bar just like she did every weekend, a small tradition you adopted when you first started dating. you had fallen in love with the small little town and the cozy bar within it and found yourself most happy in the musical chaos of it all.
while she loved seeing you out there in your element, she couldn’t help but wish you’d stay right there next to her. her heart turned to mush at the way you would smile, flash your pearly whites as you sung along to the music. she loved how your dress twirled around your calves as you spun around in circles, your voluminous hair bouncing behind you. but she hated how you were so far, wanting to see that charming smile and those gorgeous locks up close for herself. she couldn’t stand the thought of you being out there for all eyes to see. hated how any man or woman could claim you as theirs in their minds.
kate was aware of your immense beauty, knew how especially the men liked to gaze in your direction. you were a sight for sore eyes, not even having to lift a finger to attract the attention of everyone in town. and while kate did get jealous, seeing how the single folk in the bar constantly asked you to dance or buy you a drink, she knew you’d never cave. your love for kate was outstanding and hardly likely to dissipate over a few drinks offered by lonely cowboys. they could continue to stare at you, imagine dancing with you all they wanted. but she knew it was her, at the end of the night, that got to take you home and settle between your thighs.
Well, it takes more than whiskey to make that flower bloom
By the third drink you'll find out she's mine
“good evening, missy” a deep voice slurred from behind you “i saw ya over there dancin’ and was hopin’ i could buy ya a drink?”
you had just returned to your seat next to kate at the bar, almost winded from all the dancing. a small film of sweat lingered on your forehead as you plopped down, adjusting the skirt of your dress. kate’s hand found its way to the divot of your hip without a second thought. she ordered you a brand new drink once she noticed you reaching for hers, letting you finish off her whiskey was a recipe for disaster. the bartender poured your drink as kate leaned in to kiss your blushed cheek, listening to you rave about the excitement on the dance floor. it wasn’t until your drink was passed to you, pausing your conversation, that you were suddenly interrupted.
“oh,” you licked your lips, the salt from the rim of your glass sticking to your upper lip. you turned around to face the stranger to see it was a taller and quite older man. he was muscular and burly, a thick beard embellishing his face. not that it would sway your opinion, but he was no different than the rest of the men who thought they had a chance with you “no thank you”
the man seemed to be taken aback, nose scrunching in disgust. he shook his head and and rolled his eyes, large hands coming up to rub his jaw. he inched closer to you, broad shoulders on the brink of colliding with your back. kate immediately noticed this, tightening her grip on you as she shot a stern glare his way.
“no?” he scoffed “it’s just a drink, lady”
“look i’m just not interested alright?” you sneered, trying not to be too harsh and make a scene in the midst of the busy bar.
“and why’s that, huh? i’m a nice, good lookin guy. what’s your fuckin problem?” he spat at you, near slamming his fist on the bar. this triggered something in kate, causing her to leap from her seat in anger. but you placed your hand on her chest, sending her a look to tell her that you had it under control. she looked back at you, then back at the guy in conflict. kate was more than ready to put that guy in his place, to claim you as hers and teach him a lesson. but she also knew you took satisfaction in telling these men off, ultimately deciding to take a seat and observe.
“i’m happily taken, i’ll have you know” you motioned to kate “i appreciate the offer, but i would appreciate it even more if you apologized and left us alone”
kate smirked, seeing his expression fall. it was always so gratifying to see these people learn that you were in love with someone else, and a woman at that. she tipped the rim of her cowboy hat mockingly at him, her way of making her presence known. the man cleared his throat, now embarrassed as he took his hand away from the bar and took a step back.
“you-uh-you’re right, ma’am” he mumbled, digging his hands into his pockets “m’sorry ladies, have a nice night”
he shuffled away in humiliation, probably on his way to pester some other woman he thought he could seduce. you watched him bump into a few people before he disappeared into the ever growing crowds. you sighed in relief, taking another swig of your drink.
“he not your type?” kate snickered, smirking at you teasingly before finishing off her own drink.
“shut up,” you laughed as you smacked her shoulder lightly. you turned on the stool, rusty metal squeaking loudly as you came to face her. nimble fingers came up to move a strand of hair away from her face “you know i only have eyes for you”
“you’re somethin else, ya know that?” she groaned, noticing the way you bit your lower lip and batted your lashes at her.
“i do,” you leaned in to place a small kiss to her lips “but you love it”
I've loved her in secret
I've loved her out loud
“can we just stay like this forever?” you asked, resting your head against kate’s shoulder as you let your eyes close.
these were your favorites moments. sitting on the porch swing with kate as the sun went down, crisp summer air swooshing past you. the sky glowed pinks and oranges, reflecting onto the home you shared on this secluded farm. the chains of the swing creaked with each push, kate’s bare foot touching the floorboards just enough to rock you back and forth. crickets and other little critters sounded from the fields in front of you as the evening fell upon the town. the grasses and weeds of the crops whistled in the wind, adding to the noise. kate hummed an unknown tune-probably some song she heard on the radio weeks ago-as she draped an old knit blanket across your laps.
“mhm,” her hand wrapped around your shoulder, tugging you closer into her side to keep you warm. her fingers toyed with the fraying ends of your sleeve, an old country singer tee shirt that you stole from her drawer one day “then i’d get to keep ya all to m’self”
“you already got me to yourself, kate” you chuckled softly, nuzzling your nose into her neck.
“yea,” she continued “but here? it’s jus the two of us. no drunks at the bar, no assholes givin us a hard time in town…it’s just you, me, and the farm. everything i’ve ever wanted’s right here”
you smiled against her shoulder, feeling the rough material of her flannel shirt on your lips. kate was the biggest sweetheart, was always vocal on her appreciation for this life. it was true, everything she wanted was right here. she was never set on a busy life at all. as long as she had her woman, her animals, her crops, and most likely her guitar (because how else would she serenade you on quiet nights like these), then she’d never need anything else. you were her entire world, what made her the person she is. she’d do anything to keep this life with you.
“mmm,” you sighed, another breeze lulling you into sleep “i love you s’much, kate”
“i love you too, darlin” she confessed, sensing your drowsiness “more than you know”
The sky hasn't always been blue
It might last forever
Or it might not work out
her back ached, her feet hurt, and her head pounded with the memories of your conversation this morning. kate had never meant to say what she did, and now she beating herself up at the thought of hurting you.
she had woken up at the same time she always did, quietly padding out of bed and into the connected bathroom as to not wake you. you hated early mornings so kate normally let you sleep while she did her morning farm chores. in return, you’d clean the house, run errands, and you often helped kate with anything she was behind on. it was a fair trade off and the routine worked for you, so there were hardly any issues during the countless years you’ve been together.
but for some reason, everything seemed to have gone wrong this morning. kate’s alarm didn’t go off so she was late to milk the cows, causing her to go behind schedule by at least 45 minutes. the water heater apparently stopped working, she ran out of toothpaste, and her favorite work pants had a pretty gnarly hole. then, she accidentally woke you up by knocking down some of her toiletries because she was in a rush. you were shocked to wake up to such chaos, trying to ask her what was wrong and asking if there was anything you could do to help. but rather than answer or kiss you goodbye and tell you she was in a rush, she snapped at you angrily before running out the door.
“can you just leave me alone? fuck” she had said, trying to pull her boot over her left foot “christ, i don’t have time for this, i gotta go”
the comment left you dumbfounded, disgusted by her tone. sure, there were times that kate got a bit angry and said something she didn’t mean, but it was never like this. she never said anything that directly offended you. plus, she always apologized if she hurt your feelings. this time, on the other hand, felt like a personal dig at you.
you laid in bed for a while as you replayed the scenario over and over in your mind. it had made you incredibly upset, knowing that she was somehow mad at you for asking if you could just help. eventually, you decided to just get up and get some work done throughout the house to try and take your mind off of it. but no matter what you did during the day, you couldn’t shake how terribly she made you feel. her words stuck with you like glue as you went about your daily chores.
the dishes were done and the floors were scrubbed spotless by the time dinner rolled around. you made your self busy with prepping the food as you waited for kate’s arrival. she typically finished around 5:30, but with her being in such a hurry, she most likely wouldn’t be back to the house until 6:30. so you focused on cutting the vegetables and marinating the meat until she was home.
kate, meanwhile, was finishing rounding up the horses. she so desperately wanted to go home, eat the delicious dinner you had made, and curl up under the covers with you while you read your book aloud to her. but now, as her hands grasped around the brass door knob of the front door, she realized that that may be harder to achieve than she had thought.
she was instantly met with discomfort the second she set foot in the house. the air felt heavier and the atmosphere was merely dimmer than it should be. the radio would often be playing somewhere in the kitchen, you could never get anything done without your old school tunes. her heart twinged at the loss of your humming, the sweetness of your voice nowhere to be found as she kicked off her boots and set them aside.
her legs dragged her into the kitchen where she spotted you silently chopping away at some peppers (the ones you had insisted you grow yourself, giving yourself yet another thing to tend to). you were still and quiet, not even so much as swaying your hips. she knew that you were upset right away. and you had every right, she admitted internally, her behavior this morning was uncalled for and she didn’t blame you.
“hey, baby” she mumbled, testing the waters. she wandered through the kitchen, making her way to the cabinet to grab a cup for a glass of water.
“hey” you murmured back in response. now it was the tone of your voice that stung kate. you didn’t bother to look at her, keeping your focus on the task at hand. but kate couldn’t bring herself to look away from you, instead she took the time to study the expression on your face and the movement of your body. you seemed stiff, muscles tense with irritation. the features of your face were soft-they always were-but now they were soft with disappointment. you were a headstrong gal, kate knew all too well, and would rather go all night completely mute than pretend like this morning never happened. so she decided to shrug off her guilt and pride and own up to her mistakes.
“darlin’?” she set the glass down on the counter top, no longer worried about the water. she came up behind you as you slowed the movements of your knife.
“hm?”
“m’sorry” she divulged, chest pressing against your back. her arms came to wrap around your torso as she let her head fall. her chin now rested on your shoulder, her nose nudging at the angle of your jaw “for what i said today, that wasn’t fair to ya. you were jus tryin’ to help”
you said nothing, pushing her off your shoulder as you resumed your chopping. the small action made kate’s insides churn. she tried again, this time placing a hand on your lower back and attempting to apologize once more, but she was swiftly shot down.
“thought you wanted me to leave you alone?” you taunted bitterly. you moved over to the stove and slid the diced vegetables into an already simmering pot. she sighed, scratching at the back of her neck.
“baby, i didn’t mean it” she pleaded “i’d never want you t’leave me alone, i was just upset and i lashed out. it was wrong of me”
“yea,” you laughed in disbelief, still moving restlessly around the kitchen to display your anger “it was”
“can you just-” she halted to try and find the right words “can you just stop for a second? please”
you set-more like carelessly tossed-your cutting board and knife back onto the counter. your head whipped in her direction, shooting her a dissatisfied glare. your sun kissed cheeks were down a darkened red and your brows furrowed downwards, your nose scrunched up and your tongue ran along the insides of your cheeks out of annoyance.
“i’m sorry, im so so sorry” kate continued once she realized you were listening “what i did was incredibly shitty and you don’t deserve that. i’m so grateful to have someone who is so willin to help me out and i took that for granted. but i promise i didn’t mean it at all and it won’t happen again”
she pulled her sweet puppy dog eyes on you, beautiful blue irises staring back at you. it genuinely seemed that she felt horrible. you knew kate like the back of your hand, knew that she definitely didn’t mean to say something like that. although, it had cut you deep in the heat of the moment and made you feel awful all day. but seeing her so distraught over this, now practically on her knees to beg for your forgiveness, it had you rethinking the validity of your coldness. you could never stay mad at her for long.
“it’s just-” you groaned, fingers coming up to rub at your temples “it just made me feel so mad and you ran out without even apologizing”
“i know, i know. i shouldn’t have done that” she gulped, hoping that you would come around “but i really don’t think i can stand ya bein’ mad at me any longer, baby. you gotta forgive me”
you chuckled at her urgency. it was true, she always felt lost when you were cross with her. a smile worked its way onto your face as you stepped towards her, throwing your arms around her neck. her arms tugged you in closer as she let out a sigh of relief.
“alright, you’re forgiven” you tilted your head “but, it better not happen again, got it?”
“got it. never again, i swear it”
you got up on your tip toes, your house slippers about to fall off your feet, to kiss her. before you could pull away, though, she had grabbed both sides of your face to kiss you even deeper. you moaned with surprise when her fingers threaded through your hair, tongue slipping into your mouth as she caught you off guard. you indulged in the kiss until you had to pull away for air.
“ok, cowboy” you breathed against her lips “you gotta let me go, dinners gonna burn”
“oh, m’never lettin you go ever again”
If she ever leaves me, it won't be for you
she sat back in her seat, an old wooden rocking chair that matched the one you were in. it was an oddly hot night this june even though the sun had set hours ago and the cold air from the lake was creeping closer. the heat from the bonfire in front of you only added the warmth.
this was one of your favorite things to do, sit outside on the small concrete patio kate had made, roasting marshmallows and taking turns on the guitar as a toasty fire crackled against the humid air. you had the acoustic instrument rested on your knee, a hand woven strap around your shoulder as you lightly plucked the strings rhythmically. you sang quietly along to a song as you looked off across the field and into the mountains, you were in your own world. kate was merely listening, too distracted by your beauty to sing along. the way your lips moved with each lyric, how your nearly manicured nails strummed against the guitar so smoothly.
“what?” she snapped from her trance, eyes blinking when she noticed you. she hadn’t realized you’d stopped singing, fingers no longer on the guitar. kate cleared her throat as she chewed on the insides of her cheek.
“s’nothin” her hair swaying against her shoulders whilst she shook her head “you’re just pretty s’all”
“oh stop” you giggled, the most infectious thing kate had ever heard. when she died, your laugh would be the last thing she’d want to hear “that’s the liquor talkin’, babe”
“definitely not,” she hated how you never believed her compliments, always denying your own beauty. but that just meant she got to compliment you twice as much to get you to buy into it “i could be sober forever and still think you’re the most breathtaking woman to grace the earth”
you had now set the guitar down, propping up against the varnished table between the rocking chairs, pushing yourself back and forth by the heel of your boot. you reached your arm over, fingers outreached to kate. she took your hand without hesitation, giving your hand a loving squeeze. the whites of your teeth shined through the darkening sky as you let yourself smile. you’d never get tired of the affection kate showered you with.
“you’re my everything” she whispered to you, thumb mindlessly stroking the backside of your hand.
“and you’re mine” you replied as you thought your conjoined hands up to your face, kissing her knuckles “my universe”
She loves Wild Horses and Tumbling Dice
She don't have a single tattoo
kate remembers the exact moment she met you. when she wandered into the quaint house of a close friend from college, noticing you right away. her friend, caitlin, was having a fairly large get together for her birthday: poker, beer, and pizza. kate typically hated going out and socializing, but rarely ever was she able to say no to good food and a cold glass of cheap beer. she debated not going for the longest time and instead having caitlin over one night for dinner to make up for her absence, not really wanting to get dolled up and leave the comfort of her home. but she forced herself to go anyways, turning the key in the ignition of her truck and making her way down the road.
boy was she glad she did.
you were like a rainbow in the midst of a storm, a rose among thorns sitting there leaned against the back of your chair. the moment caitlin had let her in the house, guiding her into the kitchen to grab her a drink, her eyes were glued to you. your hair was let down down, a leather cowboy hat resting atop your head with a think pink band wrapping around the base. a flannel that was far too big for you swallowed your upper half, leaving kate to only imagine what laid beneath it. she noticed your muddy jeans, how your velvety skin ran across the stiff denim when you doubled over in laughter. you were absolutely radiant, kate didn’t need much also to fall head over heels for you.
for the most part, she avoided you all night. her nerves were getting to her, not even having to talk to you to become riddled with anxiety. something about you enchanted her, drew her in like a moth to a flame, but she couldn’t bring herself to make an introduction. rather she lingered on the outskirts of the room as she made pointless conversation with mutual friends, eyes wandering just to get a glimpse of you every so often.
then, as kate was talking to small group of people in the living room, caitlin summoned everyone into the kitchen for the poker game. her heart began to race, watching as you followed the crowd of people to the dining room table. kate was the last to funnel through, finding herself straining her neck to find an open seat. and much to her luck, like a sign from the universe, the last open seat was directly next to you. maybe this was meant to be, written in the stars that she’d sit next to you tonight.
“hey,” she swallowed hard when she tapped on your shoulder, choking back a cough of uncertainty “d’ya mind if i sit, ma’am?”
you looked back behind you, eyes wandering up kate’s tall figure. you grinned, pulling out the chair a little more so she could sit down.
“not at all!” she squeezed in between you and the person next to her, arm brushing against yours electrically as she tried to find a comfortable position “i -uh-i don’t think we’ve met?”
“oh! yea no” kate felt like she was about to faint, she barely made it past the initial question and now she was already being forced into an introduction? “i went to college with caitlin, we’re pretty close buds, but um…i don’t go out much so i’m not around”
“really? that’s crazy you’ve known her for so long!” you said. kate would be forever grateful that you disregarded her awkwardness “i met her a while back when i first moved to town, she helped me get settled in and everything”
kate exhaled, the words spewing from your lips hardly retained as she was concentrated on your immense beauty. you voice sounded like honey, everyone else’s words becoming jumbled in the background.
“sorry, i didn’t even tell you my name,” you internally scolded yourself “i’m YN”
“s’nice to meet you, YN” she nodded, offering a calloused hand out to you. you gladly took it, dainty hand fitting perfectly into her much larger one “m’kate”
and just like that, such a simple introduction seemed to entice a years worth of conversation. throughout the entire poker game the two of you couldn’t seem to stop talking. to be truthful, kate threw the entire game in the first hand just so she could get out as soon as possible to talk to you. you’d be lying if you said you didn’t do the same. this didn’t go unnoticed by caitlin (or any of the others for that matter), quickly catching on to how her best friend had stuck like glue to you. whilst the rest of them pushed around chips, threw down hards, and occasionally cussing over a bad hand, you and kate sneaked away to the backyard.
‘we’re just gettin’ some air, we’ll be back b’fore the games over’, she announced when caitlin asked why you both backed away from the table. caitlin nodded innocently, pretending she didn’t know your true intentions. she smiled smugly behind her cards as she watched kate open the back sliding door open for you, placing her hand on your hip to guide you in front of her. suddenly, caitlin felt like a matchmaker.
the air was still, crickets sounding loudly from deep under the trees and bushes of caitlin’s backyard. an owl cooed in the far distance, moonlight beating down onto the lush and green lawn. everything went silent when kate slid the door closed behind you. you were far too scared to say anything, opting to take a seat on the concrete steps and listen to the tranquil sounds of the south. kate plopped down next to you as she let her knee relax just enough to bump into yours. her lips parted, eyes locking with yours, elbows resting on her knees as she fiddled with her fingers in her lap. she wanted to know everything about you, hear every story you had to tell. she had the unexplainable urge for you to consume her every being, needing to know what it was like to love you. she didn’t care you had just met, or that you were merely just talking, something inside her told her this was love at first sight.
she had only muttered something along the lines of ‘i think i could sit here all night with you’ before you were high off chitchatting once again.
maybe an hour passed, maybe 2, you weren’t quite sure. time seemed to stop as you sat there talking to kate, the sky growing darker with the lights inside being your only source of light. your butt stung from the roughness of the concrete, but the discomfort didn’t seem to cross your mind once as you babbled to kate about everything and anything. from childhood stories, to worse first dates, there didn’t seem to be a single topic left out of discussion.
in such a short amount of time, she learned so much about you. how much you adored animals, that you wanted to be a veterinarian when you were little but ultimately not having the money for college. she learned that you loved to bake and that’s why you moved out to town, to take over your great grandmas bakery on the edge of the valley. you told her about how your favorite thing to make was carrot cake and that you’d love to make one for her sometime, really just an excuse to see her again. she learned that you hated needles, that you’d wanted to get a tattoo last year but ended up chickening out before they could even lay down the stencil. even the little details, like your parents divorce or your close relationship with your brother, she came to know it all. and loved every bit of it. she had never felt so connected to a single soul in her entire life.
“wait wait wait,” kate threw her head back, throat bobbing as she laughed “there’s no way you did that!”
“it’s true!” you cackled, hand coming to grasp at your chest as you chuckled “i swear to god it’s true!”
“so you mean to tell me…” she tried to get the story straight, tongue darting out slightly as she processed what you had said “that you got chased down? by a wild horse?”
“yes! my friend bet me 20 bucks to try and get a stupid selfie with it-cause let’s be honest we were 16 and fucking idiots-and i spooked it from behind, and well…it chased me all the way back to my truck!”
“well you’re a hell of a lot braver than me, i woulda been knocked out cold within a second!” you snickered, luring the most mesmerized grin from kate. she looked back out into the yard when she sensed the mingling was dying down, the air going quiet once again. “you know i-um…this has been really nice, sittin here talkin to ya”
“yea,” you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, still looking at kate even though she had turned “it has”
“could be kinda up front with ya?” kate blurted. she had been contemplating it all night, asking you out and overcoming her fears. but the whole night she couldn’t see herself doing it. that was until now, the moment she understood how badly she needed to see you again.
“of course, kate”
“do you think i could get your number?” she might faint on the spot, the sudden sour of confidence could send her into cardiac arrest “i mean you definitely don’t have to give it t’me at all, i don’t know i just thought that-”
“kate,” you laid a hand on her shoulder to get her to ease up, she held her breathe in fear of your possible rejection “i would love to give you my number”
and just like that, the rest was history. she’d remember this moment forever.
She'll drink all the liquor and leave you the ice
kate leaned against the cedar post that held the rickety porch together, weathered and old from so many years of love. her boots, a new pair that you had gotten her for her birthday, left muddy prints on the slats underneath her. she had her arms folded across her chest as her fingers came up to toy with the bolo tie that sat snuggly underneath her collar. it was baby pink, like the band of the hat you were wearing during the night you met. kate was never big on pink, but after meeting you, it became her favorite color.
she was watching you closely, not wanting to miss a single second of the moment. you were out in the front yard near the little flower garden you insisted on starting when you moved in with kate. it stretched along the fence that separated the yard and the plots of land reserved for the rest of the farm. endless species of wildflowers sprouted from the dirt and mulch, other plants you picked from the gardeners market sat freshly planted. you loved that damn garden with everything you had. sometimes kate wondered if you loved your flowers more than her.
dressed in a light green sundress, the one that sat untouched in the back of your closet most days, you stood radiant under the evening sun. there was a cotton apron draped around your waist, you had sewn several pockets into it by hand so that you could carry your supplies in the garden. there wasn’t a shoe, sock, nor sandal on your foot either. you claimed to prefer it that way, wanting to feel the earth and “be one with nature”. it made kate laugh, seeing your toes sink into the soil. you were on your hands and knees trying to pull the freshly grown weeds, hands wrapping around the base and tugging the roots from their clutch in the ground. kate could make out a line of dirt that spread from your temple to your cheek, most likely from wiping your hand across your sweaty skin. with a groan, you sat back on your knees, tossing the last few weeds into the basket next to you and throwing your head back. you sighed from the excessive heat and the gnawing pain in your forearms. but kate couldn’t help but stare at you in awe, whether you were dirty and tired it didn’t matter to her. she watched as the neckline of the dress dipped down, your chest heaving, causing the tops of your breasts spill just a tich. kate gulped deeply in astonishment. your pink lips, now red from the amount of times you’ve licked them, puckered out as you stretched your neck. it took everything in her to not march over to you, lay you out onto your back, and give the neighbors a show they certainly wouldn’t want to see.
“quit starin’ at me you creep!” you hollered across the yard, snapping kate from the trance you had her in. she chuckled under her breath, her arms falling to her sides.
“m’just appreciatin’ the view” she was so good at smooth talking you, always getting you rattled “can’t a woman just admire her gorgeous wife?”
“not when her woman’s knee deep in weeds and is too tired to make it back to the house!” you pouted, balled fists coming to rest on your hips. you were scolding her now?
she made her way down the cobblestone path, tripping on the stone that stuck out more than the rest. you had asked her to put “fixing that stupid fucking stone” on her to-do list earlier in the month, but she had never gotten to it. you’d probably pester her about it again eventually. your mood instantly changed when she stepped foot onto the grass, shaking her head at you jokingly.
“cant believe you’d leave me out here in this blistering heat, makin’ your so called ‘gorgeous wife’ sit out here helplessly” you nudged again, neck craning up see her clearly.
her face was covered in freckles, darkened from a days work on the farm. her hairy was tied into a braid, strangling hairs whisking around ever which way. you noticed the pink tie on her neck, always smiling when she wore it because you knew she bought it because of you.
“well i’m here aren’t i?” she held both of her hands out to you, offering to help you up “i’d be quite the fool to leave ya”
“such a sweetheart” you tutted, letting kate yank you from the ground, grunting from the force. with her bewildering strength, you stumbled into her. your arms gripped onto her biceps and hers found the way to your rear, giving you an inviting squeeze “thank you baby”
she tipped her head to the right, one hand coming up to tangle itself in your hair. her lips met yours momentarily, capturing you in a winded kiss. you squeaked in surprise at her actions, only to accept it immediately after and kissing her back.
“anytime” she smirked, nipping your bottom lip as she pulled away “although you looked like absolute perfection out here…on your knees…that pretty little dress ridin’ up your thighs. gettin’ me all hot and bothered, yet you’re the one doin’ the weeding”
“keep it in your pants, martin” you rolled your eyes, trying suppress the butterflies in your stomach. but you could never trick kate, she knew exactly the things she did to you. you hooked your fingers through her belt loops as you began walking backwards towards the house, taking her with you “now come and help me”
“help you with what? i thought you were done weedin-”
“not with the weeds silly” she looked at you confused. you pursed your lips as you pushed the front door open “with somethin’ else…this dress ain’t gonna take itself off”
she groaned, biting down on her tongue. images of what she’d do to you on a continuous loop in her mind “you tease”
“maybe,” you shrugged, already making your way down the hall and to the stairs, swaying your hips to egg her on. kate had halted at the bottom of the stairwell, unable to form a complete sentence it seemed “are coming or not?”
“i’m comin’” she said, following you to the bedroom “just you wait, darlin”
…That's too much cologne, she likes perfume
#kate martin#kate martin x reader#kate martin x yn#kate martin oneshot#country kate martin#wnba x reader#wnba imagine#wnba basketball#wlw imagine#wlw#lesbian imagine#lesbian#wcbb#wcbb x reader#iowa wbb#rpf x reader#rpf#foreingersgod
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Lost Sight of My Treasure (1)
Summary: Hongjoong agreed to get married if she promised that he'd never have to choose between her and his career, but he didn't realize that his priorities would have to change when they had a child.
c/w: angst
pairings: idol!dad!Hongjoong x mom!reader
a/n: I thought of this idea on a whim one day, and finally decided to write it out.
w/c: 3.3k
When the children finished singing, you clapped as Haein smiled brightly. You hoped it would stay that way. You hoped she wouldn’t realize that her father hadn’t come tonight to see the performance she had been boasting for so long, eager for her father to see it. He said he would and she trusted him wholeheartedly, so when she looked through the crowd and didn’t see him, she thought that she probably just couldn’t see him from where she was. She had been practicing for a whole month! There was no way he would miss it when he said he wouldn’t, right? He had to be here. He had to have seen her sing her solo, right?
When the performance ended and certificates were being given out she received an outstanding achievement award for being so bold and taking the solo while also executing it well. She was her father’s daughter after all. Being a singer was in her blood, yet the very blood that ran through her veins refused to show up.
Haein smiled brightly at you as you recorded her for Hongjoong to at least see later, and your daughter bounded over to you to proudly show off her award. “Amma, where’s appa?” she whispered into your ear as to not disturb the other awards being announced.
“Something came up for appa, baby, he couldn’t make it, I’m sorry…” Haein’s mouth dropped in disbelief. Her little body turned hot with embarrassment and angry disappointment, lip wobbling and I frowned as I pulled her into my chest. “I know, baby, you were so excited to show him your first solo,” You whispered, kissing the top of her head, “He’ll see it on the video.”
“It’s not the same,” she said, muffled into your shirt, “I want to go home.” “You don’t want to say bye to all your friends before we leave? It’s only a little longer.” You felt her sniffle and release a small sob into you before you picked her up, listening to her wish immediately. She wrapped her arms around your neck and hid her face as her body wracked with sobs. She was only four years old. She didn’t want to be upset, but she couldn’t help it. Her father had never disappointed her so badly before.
You waved goodbye to her teacher who looked at you sympathetically before taking Haein to the car, strapping her in. “Do you want to get ice cream or teokbokki before we go home? You did so well, today, you know. We have to celebrate a little bit.” “It doesn’t matter,” she mumbled, “Because appa didn’t see.”
“But I saw it, my love.” “You always see,” she sniffed before her face scrunched up in a cry again, “But appa never sees!” You had to bite your own lip to keep yourself from crying as you watched your precious child sob over your husband’s lie. “Okay, then we’re going to go home and eat chicken nuggets and watch your favorite princess movie, okay? Then when daddy comes home, you can sing your solo again for him, and then I’ll show him the video, and he’ll be so sad that he missed it, so he’ll never miss another one again. Okay? Can we do that?”
She pouted, still sniffling, but nodded. You smiled, kissing her head before closing the car door and getting into the driver’s seat. You drove home with determination to make your daughter’s night better after that colossal disappointment, but found that by the time you got home, she was fast asleep in her car seat. You sighed, looking at her now peaceful form. This was better than seeing her cry, at least. You took her inside, changed her clothes, and put her to bed promptly so that she could get a comfortable night’s rest before going downstairs to wait for Hongjoong.
It was 3am when Hongjoong came home. He saw the lights on downstairs and swallowed nervously. He hated this. He hated feeling scared to come home. He wanted to come home to a loving and comforting family, not this. He didn’t want to come home just to be treated like he wasn’t welcomed. He opened the door, peeking in to assess the severity of the situation, before breathing a sigh of relief when he found you sleeping on the recliner.
Guilt gnawed at his heart as he considered leaving you there and sneaking upstairs to sleep alone so that he wouldn’t have to confront you, but decided against it. Not only would you be doubly mad at him from trying to evade you, but he didn’t want your neck to hurt. He moved closer to you, intending to wake you up, but found that you were already awake, eyes fluttering open to look at him.
The disappointment swirling in your eyes choked him. You two looked at each other silently before you spoke, “Why did you lie to her?”
“I- You wouldn’t stop asking… I just… wanted you to stop, so I said what you wanted to hear.” “You never said you couldn’t make it. You said you didn’t know. I just wanted to tell her the right thing. I wasn’t pressuring you to come.” “Well, it felt like you were.”
The silence was thick. “She was so happy,” you said, “When she was singing, she was singing thinking that you were hearing it. She was so happy that you’d see her very first solo… and then you missed it. It would have been better if you hadn’t gotten her hopes up so high, because when she found out that you weren’t there, she cried so hard that we had to leave immediately.”
Hongjoong looked down at the floor in shame. “Appa never sees,” you repeated her words from earlier, “That’s what she said to me.”
“She’s- she’s just a baby,” Hongjoong sighed, “She’ll get over these things. It’s like how she cried her eyes out when you got her ears pierced. It hurts to see her crying, but she got over it and forgot about it entirely after an hour.”
“That was when she was not even a year old, Hongjoong. She’s four, now,” you said, trying not to snap, “I will not let my daughter settle for anything less than you in a man one day, but if you’re already setting her up for disappointment, then it’s almost like she’s doomed to that!”
“She’s four, y/n!” He said, getting angry, “Don’t you think you’re thinking too far ahead.”
“Every moment that she has the ability to think until she’s at least 16 years old is a moment that will affect her for the rest of her life whether she remembers it or not, especially coming from us,” you finally sneered, not being able to keep the hostility out of your voice, “She had an amazing, amazing night, Hongjoong. She sang so beautifully, so fucking beautifully, and she got an award for volunteering to solo. She got an award and everyone clapped for her. This would have been the best night of her little life so far if you had been there… but because you weren’t there when you said you would be, it became the worst. It went from a happy moment that she’d probably forget to a horrible moment that she’ll probably remember.”
Hongjoong sighed in frustration, “Why are you so mad at me?” You looked up at him sharply because of his unfamiliar tone. “There are worse fathers out there. Some fathers abandon their children entirely and don’t support them at all. Some children don’t even know their fathers! Some fathers barely spend time with their children and their children understand and still become good people! Why- why are we worrying about Haein so much!? You’re still there, so she’s learning from you!”
You looked at him in disbelief, “Do you really want Haein to remember your as just a little better than a deadbeat? Why are you even making that comparison? Do you not want to be in her life?” “Of course I do! Y/n, I still live here, I still see her and tell her I love her when I’m here! I’m here! Why can’t that be enough?!”
“Being a parent is more than just being in the room, Hongjoong,” you scoffed, “You have to raise her. You have to set up her expectations for life. The way your treat her will determine the way she treats others and expects them to treat her!”
“You promised me when we got married that you would never make me choose!” Hongjoong suddenly raised his voice. You looked at him startled, glancing between him and Haein’s bedroom, but not saying anything, “You promised me I wouldn’t have to sacrifice my career, that I was allowed to prioritize it, so why are you punishing me when you promised you wouldn’t?”
“Hongjoong-” “I have work every day, y/n! There’s not a moment when I don’t think of working, and when I’m not working I have to eat and sleep because I have to live, too! This is suffocating me, you’re suffocating me! I was scared to come home because I was worried that you’d get angry at me! Aren’t you ashamed of that?!”
You couldn’t believe that he was turning this around on you. He was scared to come home?? “I have never given you a reason to be scared. If you were scared, Hongjoong, it means you know you fucked up and that I’d rightfully be upset that our daughter cried because of you.”
“Kids cry all the time, y/n,” Hongjoong scoffed, “You’re making a big deal out of this just to hurt me, to take me away from my career!” “Hongjoong, why the fuck would you think that-” “You’ve been looking for an excuse, I already know. This was just the perfect reason for you to finally blow up on me, to guilt-trip me into sacrificing more than I already have. I risked everything to be with you, y/n. This is my dream, and it has always been my dream, why are you making me choose!? Why can’t you just be happy?!”
“It has nothing to do with me, Hongjoong, it’s about Hae-” “I swear, if I hadn’t gotten married, I wouldn’t have had to lose my career!” He almost screamed, and y/n felt her heart break in her chest and fall to her stomach. Suddenly her blood was cold and perhaps she was trembling? She felt like she was, but she didn’t know. You attempted to remain calm, sucking in a breath that almost sounded wet. Your emotions rose to your chest, but you refused to release it. You refused to be the bad guy.
As soon as Hongjoong said it, he realized the magnitude of his words, and immediately went to correct it, but she cut him off. “Y/n-”
“You better lower your voice, right now. My daughter is sleeping.”
Hongjoong fixated on the word choice, sucking in a sharp breath. “My daughter.” Your daughter. Not “our daughter”.
“Y/n, I didn’t mean-” “I promised you when we got married that I’d never make you choose between me and your career, and I never once have. You have always made the decision to come home and treat me for valentines day or my birthday, and I don’t even make you come home on your birthday. I have been happily patient since the day we started dating until now.”
Your voice was cold, and Hongjoong knew he’d fucked up big time. “But you said you wanted this child, Hongjoong. Four years ago when I told you I was worried that you wouldn’t be able to juggle your career and raising a child, you said that you wanted nothing more than to have a family with me. That nothing would make you happier than to raise a child with me, not just have one,” you said, and then scoffed, “Maybe you weren’t thinking when you said that. I don’t think you realize that Haein is not just an extension of me. We are both a part of Haein. Haein is your daughter just as much as she is mine, and she never promised you to be patient. You promised her that the moment you decided that you wanted to be a father. She owes us, she owes you, absolutely nothing.”
Hongjoong was quiet. You were right, of course. He hadn’t thought about that. Of course he loved Haein. She was his daughter, his precious treasure, but you were spot on. Ever since he’d gotten married, he separated his life with you from his work life which he prioritized, and when Haein was born, he just lumped her in with you. But Haein was an entirely knew priority, separate from you, and he was stupid for blaming you for anything.
“I’m sorry that you regret marrying me, but the fact of the matter is that the moment Haein was born, your priority couldn’t be your job anymore. I understand that this is your dream, and I have never once wanted to make you choose, and I’m sad that you feel like you can’t have your dream and your daughter at the same time,” You said, shaking your head.
“No, of course I don’t regret marrying you, don’t say that!” Hongjoong panicked. “I never want you to think that-” “It doesn’t matter if I believe it or not, the fact is that you did,” you said through gritted teeth, “So I am going to make it easier for you, okay?”
“What-?” “I will continue to be patient with you, Hongjoong, but from now on, you cannot lie to her, that’s the first thing.” “Of course, never again, I’m sorry-” “Secondly, I know you have very little time to spend with your family, so when you come back, however unoften it may be, you will spend all your time with her.”
Hongjoong’s eyes softened pathetically as he reached out for his wife, “Y/n… I- I’m sorry. Seriously, I wasn’t trying to punish you, so don’t punish yourself because I’m a jackass-” “It’s more of a punishment for Haein if you spend most of your limited time with just me instead of her. I grew up with a wonderful father, and even if it’s not even half of the relationship I had with him, her relationship with you should be as fulfilling as it possibly can be.”
Hongjoong let out a tear, “Y/n…” “You want to talk about sacrifices? I’ll never make you sacrifice your career,” she said, coming closer to him to hold her hands in his face, “But every time you have the opportunity to come home, you spend every waking and sleeping minute with her. Every function you can feasibly attend, you will attend, and every holiday you come home to spend with me should solely be spent on her. I’m not as important as she is. She’s growing up. These are the years that she will remember, and we owe it to her to make sure that they’re good ones, okay?”
“Y/n… please, I’m sorry. I’ll cut hours from work, I’ll be home more, so please don’t make me do that…”
“I’ll still be taking care of you Hongjoong. You never have to worry about that,” she said, though she wasn’t smiling. The things he had said had already cut her deeply, and it wasn’t going to go away easily. With the conditions she was giving him, he wouldn’t be able to make it up to her easily either.
“But I-, y/n-” “Right now, I want you to go sleep in Haein’s room, okay?” she spoke softly, “If she wakes up, tell her how sorry you are and make sure you tell her you’ll never lie again.”
Hongjoong hugged y/n tightly, tears falling from his eyes. He regretted everything negative he’d said tonight and thought in the last few years. Y/n was working so hard, and he refused to realize it.
Did Hongjoong even know what her dreams had been? Had he ever asked? Remorse welled up inside him, and his heart shattered when she pulled away to give him her own broken smile, “You should wash up and see Haein. Stay with her as long as you can.”
Hongjoong nodded solemnly, going to their bathroom to wash up. He couldn’t say anything else. He was the one who screwed up by thinking he was sacrificing more than he was, and in the end it was his own wife that he would have to sacrifice.
When he was clean, he made his way to his daughter’s bedroom. She slept soundly, but he could see the tear tracks that remained on her cheeks, further breaking his heart. He really was shitty for thinking that this little human sleeping in front of him wasn’t as important as his career. His heart ached, and he longed to hear the solo she had apparently worked so hard to prepare for him to hear. That would have been better than listening to Mingi screech in disappointment every time his voice cracked in the studio.
He lifted the covers, getting into bed with his daughter. He pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her as tightly as he could without hurting her, making her stirr. “Appa?” she said softly.
“Hi, baby,” he sniffed, trying not to cry, “Did I wake you up?” “Mmm-mmm,” she hummed, snuggling closer into his chest, “I missed you.” Hongjoong had to but his tongue in order not to sob. “I missed you, too, treasure,” he breathed, “I’m sorry I didn’t come today. I wish I could have heard you sing. I bet you sang so beautiful and everyone clapped really loud.”
“They did!” she giggled tiredly, “It’s okay, I can sing for you tomorrow.”
“Promise?” he asked, his lips pressed into her hair, and she nodded, “I’ll sing you the song and then whatever songs you want. I’ve been… practicing… you… know…?” She fell asleep mid sentence and Hongjoong chuckled. He pressed light kisses to her cheek before letting out a breath of relief. It was as if all his worries vanished with her. How could he have ever thought that indulging in this was a sacrifice? His whole world was in his arms at this moment, and he realized that he would throw away everything else just to feel like this forever.
He regretted speaking to his wife the way he had. He hadn’t allowed himself to indulge in his family properly before, so he didn’t realize how sweet it tasted to just hold his daughter close. The only thing that would have made this moment better was if his wife was with him.
Him spending time with Haein didn’t mean that you couldn’t spend that time with them, too, both of you were aware, but understandably, you couldn’t face him right now.
“I swear, if I hadn’t gotten married, I wouldn’t have had to lose my career!”
The words replayed in her head over and over. She sobbed in the shower, and when she went to bed, she covered her mouth as her tears soaked her pillow. So that was how Hongjoong had been feeling. She had never felt worse in her life than in that moment. Perhaps it would have been better to reject his proposal, but you could only scoff to yourself.
He wanted to marry you, he wanted to have a child, and in the end he blamed you for all of it. Maybe he realized that his life with you wasn’t worth his life as an idol, but now that you had Haein, you wouldn’t let him get away easily. You didn’t care if he hurt you, but if he hurt Haein, she’d ruin him.
But for now, he’d ruined her.
#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#ateez#atz#ateez fluff#ateez angst#hongjoong x reader#kim hongjoong x reader#hongjoong angst#ateez x reader angst#hongjoong x reader angst#kim hongjoong x reader angst#ateez fanfiction#ateez fanfic#ateez fic
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Past, present, future
a/n: well, writing creativity hits me at the worst times. Including when I have a concussion! This one is for my silly moot @fortheb0ys
Minors DNI
Phillip was stressed. If stressed was even the right word. He was tired, and bored, and yet constantly busy busy busy. It was starting to make his head swirl so damn much that he decided to toss off his work and jobs to his poor second in command and go back to his little home town in the middle of nowhere Texas
He wasn’t there to see family, hell no. He had put his parents in a retirement home in Dallas years and years ago. He was going just to fish where he used to fish and enjoy how little that town changes- as if time was slowed there. He pulled up to his hotel happy as a clam and practically running to the local bar, enjoying as many drinks as he wanted to calm down, until he saw you walk in. Oh fuck
he hadn’t seen you since high school, since he left the whole backwater town to try his luck in the military, and told you by note. By note! He really did regret that now, how he had probably shattered you. Sure you two never ‘dated’, his parents would have slaughtered him for something like dating a man- but you two sure did everything a couple could. Nights spent together hidden away in a camping tent, secret kisses and hickeys littering him in the morning… he had really felt like shit having the nerve to show up here now, feeling wheezy and sick to his stomach.
he sat nervously next to you at the bar, letting you look him up and down as he drank a shot of whiskey, then two, then three. And a conversation started between you, about how your lives had ended up and how you’d stayed in the little country town and definitely flourished- calloused hands and well built figure filling in where you once were younger and softer, and the more he drank the more comfortable he felt around you, chuckling at your jokes and leaning into you as if he was head over heals again.
Four shots, five shots, six,
he was feeling real sick now, he wasn’t a lightweight by any means. But he had definitely lost track and gone above any standard he usually had. He felt Ick all over, barely wanting to walk out the door let alone leave you and go to his hotel- not that he could walk that far in the state he was in. He needed you in more ways than one, so he begged you pathetically to carry you home. Your grip and warmth grounded him enough that he got a grip while you carried him, softly nuzzling into your chest and hoping you’d stay just a little longer and indulge him just a bit more.
he didn’t deserve you, he knew that. You were his a long time ago and he had royally fucked up- but he missed everything about you, every little detail was making his mind spin with old memories he had thought he had forgotten. He let you carry him into your house without a single protest- too in bliss and too drunk to bother you with the idea of carrying him back to his shitty hotel, especially when your house smelt of your cologne and safety.
he almost melted in your bed; whining and pulling you next to him before utterly dozing off, and clinging to you as if you would disappear if he let go
he woke up with an utterly pounding headache and a hangover worse then death himself- sitting up with a groan before remembering where he was, and that he was in your jacket from the bar… he has definitely made a fool of himself in front of you. But he supposed it was better then being alone in your apartment- he laid practically on top of you, feeling your even breathing as you slept. He had missed the feeling of being oh so close to you, but he still wanted to be closer- okay sure, it might be a bit wrong but he couldn’t help himself but kiss down your neck softly, his hands wondering and his body slipping down a bit, in no hurry to wake you up- just wanting to feel you.
he mouthed at your boxers a bit, shaking you awake enough to get a groan out of you and a tired nod as you tossed your head back on the pillow tiredly, still half asleep as he tugged your boxers down your legs and wrapped his pretty lips around your cock-head, taking you inch by inch slowly and choking a bit until he had every inch in his mouth, little gasps coming out of his stretched lips as he breathed you in, tears and spit dribbling down his face. He was focused on solely you, only little grinds of his hips against your leg giving himself physical pleasure
he hummed softly at the feeling of your hand grasping in his hair, before getting thrown off rhythm at a rough tug from you, pulling him off- a small drop of pre-cum and spit connecting his lips and your soaked member before you forced him back all the way down. You had gotten a lot rougher, and it felt so so good to be gasping as those big blue eyes of his poured with tears- looking like a mess. But he was your mess again. Yours.
he choked and gagged every so often, but worked you up until you were grasping his shoulders tight enough to bruise, painting his throat white as he swallowed every drop down, cumming in his own pants untouched before he pulled himself away and rolled beside you
“missed you, sugar.” Was all he could mutter as he caught his breath
#coyotes_den#cod mw2#cod x male reader#phillip graves#phillip graves x male reader#phillip graves smut#phillip graves x reader#phillip graves cod#phillip graves x you#graves x male reader#graves x reader#graves cod#mlm smut#top dom reader#male top reader#sub bottom character#bottom graves#graves smut#Sub graves#top reader#dom male reader#sub character#dom reader#top male reader#shadow company#gay cowboys#??? i think
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right here
it was just one of those nights when you had to take care of Satoru since Suguru left…
content. au, no sorcerers in this one. mentions of drugs and drug use, angst, curse words, maybe some kind of domestic fluff? implied smut at the end. happy ending?
a/n. this is kind of like an au from this fic. not so sad and a little bold. hope you like it either way!! (right here by chase atlantic heavily inspired this)
Satoru was high, again. His dilated pupils were fixed on your body from the moment you entered his field of vision, walking among the sweaty bodies that did nothing but squeeze against each other in that discotheque. His lips had curved into a lewd smile, because you knew he knew you were coming, sooner or later, and his bright eyes roamed your body, even though you were barely wearing a pair of baggy jeans and one of his giant jackets. To beat his stupid ass and take him back home, like always.
“Satoru.” you spoke in reprimand, and his fucking friends around you barely gave you a sideways glance, some blurting out obscene words they thought you couldn't hear and others booing because you were going to take away their source of amusement. “Time to go.”
“Ah, y/n, can't you wait a little longer?” Shoko was at Satoru's right side, holding his arm as if she wasn't ready to let him go.
You only liked Shoko when she was sober, so you pay her minimal attention as you approached your white-haired friend. His smile hadn't disappeared, and it seemed like those moments were the only ones where you could glimpse a bit of real emotion in his eyes.
“Come on.” You grabbed his arm, ignoring the way Shoko wanted to cling to him and how his other friends were booing louder. Satoru's limp body slipped through your fingers, because he was damn heavy, falling against the couch again. “Please.”
His body gave way, moving with a new strength of resolve the moment that word left your mouth. His eyes, as bright as they were dangerous, were fixed on yours as he intertwined his fingers with yours.
“Will you shut the fuck up, Choso?” Satoru spat, averting his gaze for a moment to devote a deadly expression to the friend who used to boo you the most whenever you went looking for him. You and Choso used to get along well, but from a while back things had changed too much.
Even six months ago you didn't think you'd ever have to go into a nightclub at two in the fucking morning to look for your friend because he wasn't answering his fucking phone.
You dragged Satoru to your car, and even though he looked so stoned from the way you could barely make out the blue in his irises, he walked like he was sober beside you and buckled up judiciously.
“You were late today.” was the first thing he said as you pulled onto the freeway heading towards your apartment; the apartment you shared with the airhead you had for a friend.
"I was asleep. You were supposed to write me if you were here any longer.” you gave yourself a moment to turn to look at him, his gaze clouded with drugs. “What did you get into?”
“Nothing I haven't tried before, don't worry.”
“Why do you have to do this every time?” you whispered, but his perceptive self caught every word that came out of your mouth and let out a chuckle in response.
“You shouldn't worry so much, y/n.”
“I'll worry as much as I damn well please, you hear?”
Your aggressive tone of voice only caused him to laugh again. He didn't answer back, but with his head resting against the window you knew he'd fall asleep soon.
-
Satoru had become uncontrollable since Suguru left. Six months ago, the love of his life, the person he swore he would spend the rest of his life with, had given him nothing but a poor excuse to end what they had built for four years and kick it all over his face as he turned his back on him and disappeared; totally. The day Suguru walked out that door, neither you nor Satoru ever saw him again.
It was clear why you were coping better than Satoru. Suguru hadn't promised you a lifetime together or given you a promise ring. Satoru had been broken since the day he left and it had been a constant battle trying to keep him afloat. Only that nigh Suguru left, Satoru dared to be vulnerable with you and spent the whole night crying himself to sleep from exhaustion. Afterwards, he reconnected with friends he had abandoned since meeting Suguru. And with old habits, too.
You did what you could, but there was enough you could carry. Still, you didn't have the heart to leave him alone. He was the most important thing in your life and you couldn't let him fade away, even if his friends hated you; even if he hated you himself. Whatever you had to do, you would do it.
“You smell so good.” Satoru spoke in his sleep, the moment you dropped him on your bed, because he had never dared to go back into the room he shared with Suguru. He usually slept in the living room or brought the couch into your room when he felt too lonely. “Have you always smelled like this?”
His head lifted from the pillow, trying to follow the thread of the scent of your perfume wafting from your neck.
“Yes. Now hold still.”
“Is it time to undress already?”
"Yes, Satoru. And you should take a bath. You smell awful."
"What the…? Of course not."
The white-haired man stood up long enough to try to sniff his own shirt, which emitted a smell of alcohol mixed with cigarette and who knows how many other things. His nose wrinkled and for that reason alone he let you unbutton his shirt without a complaint. Usually Satoru would get too commentary when you undressed him to take a shower, but that time he kept quiet, his narrowed eyes following your movements and flinching when your fingers touched his skin.
“Are you going to fix dinner?”
You looked up at him through your lashes as you undid his black pants.
“Are you hungry?”
“I think it would help me regain consciousness.”
"In the fridge are the leftovers from dinner. I can heat them up while you bathe."
Satoru clicked his tongue, moving to sit up when you took him by the shoulders.
“We were supposed to have dinner tonight.”
Ah, in all and in the midst of his lethargic state he remembered.
“Doesn't matter.”
“I'm sorry, y/n.”
"Get up. The tub's ready."
Satoru stood up with a pout, his eyes crystallizing as he moved behind you in the direction of the bathroom. He didn't stray for a moment like he did before.
“Ah,” Satoru almost groaned as he sank fully into the water, letting his eyes close as you wet his hair a little, “this feels like glory.”
“You could feel like this more often if you didn't go out so much.”
Your friend frowned, half-opening his eyes to look at you as his hair got soaked. “Are you implying something specific?”
You didn't respond, letting silence dance between the two of you, until your friend groaned loudly.
“You know I'm slower when I'm drunk.”
“Then you should stop being drunk so often.”
“Not fair…”
“Take a bath,” you left the soap between his hands, “I'll go heat up your food.”
Walking in the direction of the exit, you still wondered why you had let things go this far. Satoru called out to you, his left hand outstretched outside the tub, as if reaching for you, trying to get to you. His bright eyes still lacked that glowing blue, but you could see a little more lucidity in them now.
“Thank you.”
-
You sat across from your friend as he dove into the dinner you had prepared. Satoru loved your food. Back when Suguru still lived here, you would prepare banquets to spend a day or the whole weekend with endless platters of food while having series or movie marathons.
Maybe you wanted to convince yourself that Suguru's departure hadn't affected you as much as it had Satoru. Maybe it had, but if you weren't the rational one in the relationship you were left in with Satoru then probably neither of you would survive.
“This tastes amazing.” Satoru complimented you, scraping the crockery to eat every last chip.
“It was more delicious freshly prepared.”
You let your chin rest on the back of your hand as Satoru looked up heavily, the blue glowing a little brighter after the shower and with some food in his stomach.
He gulped. “I'm sorry-”
“Whatever,” you didn't want to hear it; you'd lost count of the number of times he'd apologized and the number of times he'd promised you that next time it wouldn't be like this, “finish quickly to go to sleep. I can't feel my eyes anymore."
You got up before his whiny voice could reach your ears and finished organizing the kitchen by the time his plate was left in the dishwasher.
“The rest will be organized by tomorrow's sober you.”
Satoru lifted a shoulder. “It's only fair.”
In the room, silence engulfed you once again. You didn't close the door because you knew he planned to sleep there that night, but his body remained standing in front of the couch when you thought he'd already gone to bed. You changed, as usual, as you usually do while he sleeps, in front of the closet.
“Hey, do you think I can sleep with-? Wow.”
You froze. Your breath caught in your throat because you swore he'd gone to bed; it was what he did every time, you didn't even have to ask him to do it. But when you cautiously turned to look over your shoulder, he was standing in front of your bed, with a direct view of your bare back and full coverage of your legs because you were only in your underwear.
“Satoru! Turn around!”
“Ah, yes, sorry, sorry…”
His body turned reluctantly, returning the poorly disguised stare about three times until his back was completely turned to you.
You changed in record time, barely putting on one of the white shirts you had stolen from him months ago and closing the closet. When you turned around to see him, his back was still turned, playfully kicking some lint on the floor, trying to distract himself while you finished changing.
“What were you saying?”
Satoru turned suddenly, his eyes finding you with trained ease, walking in the direction of the nightstand to prepare you, once again, for sleep. His silence intrigued you, and when you turned back to see him after plugging in your phone and setting your alarms, you found him staring at your legs.
“Satoru.”
“Yes?” his large, not very innocent eyes returned to your face with embarrassing speed, and from the hardness in your gaze he cleared his throat before speaking again. "Ah. Mmm. Actually, I wanted to ask you if I could sleep with you tonight, but I don't know if it's the most appropriate thing to do right now…"
You arched an eyebrow at him, massaging your hands with a moisturizer as you settled in between your sheets.
“But you sleep here every night.”
“I mean,” Satoru shifted, pointing to the empty side of your bed and then to himself, “to literally sleep with you.”
“Ah.”
You looked at the empty side and at your friend, taking more time to respond than Satoru had considered. He thought you'd straight up tell him no and even send him to sleep in the living room, but it seemed like you genuinely considered it.
“I wouldn't mind.” you finally replied, and you missed seeing the way his shoulders relaxed as you turned to turn off the room light. “Just try not to snore too much.”
“What?” Satoru stopped halfway into the bed, and you smiled imagining his offended face; if you focused properly you could see it through the darkness. “I don't snore.”
“Uh-huh~”
Satoru finally threw himself on the bed with a grunt and you could only laugh in response.
“Go to sleep already.”
Satoru cowered on his side of the bed, unaccustomed to sharing a bed with someone for several months now. His tense body stayed in the position he fell into, face up, barely feeling your movements on the mattress as you found your favorite sleeping position. Your bed was small, barely fit two people, and if Satoru got any closer he could feel your breathing against his neck.
“y/n?” Satoru spoke a couple of minutes later, when he thought you had fallen asleep.
“Mmm?” you hummed in response, trying to hold back sleep until you were sure your friend had fallen asleep first. Usually that wasn't a problem, because Satoru pretty much came in asleep from the car ride, but that night he seemed to be full of surprises.
“Do you miss him?”
Your chest ached for the tiniest second, the fond memories of their nights the three of you together in that apartment raiding your mind. Maybe you had mourned Suguru's departure as much as Satoru had when he wasn't seeing you, but that was something you were going to keep to yourself alone. There was no room for forgiveness and that attempted of a man didn't deserve a single tear from both of you.
So you swallowed that pressure like a wet rag and frowned, even if your friend couldn't see you.
“Not as much as I'd like to strangle him.”
“How do you do that? How do you stay strong?”
His voice, so low, soft and vulnerable, you couldn't help but let it pierce through to your heart. You opened your eyes, and for some reason you felt his blue eyes on yours.
“I do it for you.”
You listened to his breathing, loud, choppy, the slight startled intake of breath. You moved your hands over the mattress and didn't have to go too far to find his hands and cradle them.
“You don't have to think about that,” you murmured now that you were closer, feeling his heartbeat through your grip, “you don't have to think about him.”
“I don't know what to think about anymore.” Satoru replied, his voice matching yours, almost as if he was running out of air; like his last prayer for salvation.
And you didn't know, even some time later, what had moved you that night. His closeness, his vulnerability, that you no longer knew what else to do to help him… but you moved closer to him and pressed your lips against his.
Satoru was probably moved by the same thing that moved you, because he didn't hesitate for a second to kiss you back with the same fierceness and passion, letting go of your hands and wrapping his long arms around your waist.
That night something changed between the two of you. You didn't know if you were seeking comfort in each other's arms; trying to fill a void that someone else had implanted in both of you with his departure, when he had taken a part of each of you with him when he left; maybe because you were both the only thing the other had; maybe because you knew Satoru would never do that to you; maybe because he knew you would never do that to him.
Whatever the reason, Satoru never let go of you all night, his lips swallowing every moan of yours and his hands always intertwined with yours.
Whatever the reason, Satoru had found something else, something different, something that didn't even compare to drugs… something he didn't even know he could have.
And he wasn't about to let it go this time.
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#jjk gojo#gojo smut#satoru angst
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Wait you reblogged something about dnp getting outed before the height of the careers? Did I miss something lol when were they outed
oh my god. i love that this is not something everyone knows anymore. but it's also absolutely fucking insane to me that this knowledge could potentially be lost. it's the biggest piece of context necessary for understanding them.
they were outed in 2011 on a smaller scale and again in 2012 on a massive scale, both times by the same video.
on september 17th of 2011 there was a platform wide glitch on youtube where, at random, a bunch of videos that had been uploaded and listed as private were suddenly unprivatized.
one of the videos that was unprivatized was a deeply earnest private message to dan that phil uploaded on february 13th of 2010, because dan was in india with his family and it was their first valentine's day together. there are a lot of intimate details about their early relationship in this video.
it gets called the vday or valentine's day video by phannies because it was titled ":3".
it was only up for a couple hours, but there are posts from phannies within that span. they reached out to people asking that it not be circulated with a poor cover story (that it was a prank they thought better of because it would be too mean).
people did not publicly circulate it for a period of time, but on halloween of 2012 it got posted publicly and got spread everywhere immediately. that's the second and more major outing.
in the years of like, 2013 thru the end of tatinof era at least but likely longer than that? if it got posted anywhere publicly it would get copyright struck by phil and removed. i don't have a definitive end date but the copyright strikes aren't still happening.
the leak is absolutely what lead to the peak era of dan and phil's closeting. understanding their need for control and how momentous it is that they trust us with anything requires knowledge of this context, imo.
i don't reccomend watching it. i haven't in some time.
i am open about the fact that i did watch it as a teenager in november of 2012, back when it was still circulating on tumblr. when i returned a couple weeks later to rewatch it, the entire blog i'd originally seen it on had been nuked for copyright infringement, and that wasn't uncommon for the era.
it was a really bad time in the phandom. dan briefly made a "customer service" sideblog & vehemently shut down people speculating on his sexuality/relationship with phil.
all of the archival information we have on dan and phil—the dailybooths, the formsprings, the old tweets, the videos they've taken off their channels, liveshows, vyous, etc? so much of that information was saved despite dan and phil trying to eradicate it in the immediate aftermath of the leak.
it's incredible that we still have it all, and even more incredible that images from phannie archives have made it into their videos several times from 2019 onward. their relationship with us has changed so drastically since 2012, in ways beyond what we could've imagined at the time.
yes, they were outed. that's the context for everything.
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best friend james figuring out he actually has feelings for the reader??????
I G N O R A N T — JAMES POTTER!
james potter x fem!reader | fluff | 1.2k | masterlist!!
ignorance is bliss. or that’s what james keeps telling himself anyway.
cw — one singular mention of james having a suggestive dream
an — this kinda sucks lol sorry
James often found himself finding excuses to touch you any time the two of you were together.
He’d been physically affectionate his whole life, a product of the amount of loving he was given by his parents, but when Sirius and Remus were complaining about him being so touch-forward with them—even if it was light-heartedly—it made him feel a little bad.
So he always came back to you.
He’d hug you from behind, pulling you tightly to his chest, or find reasons to be close enough he could take your hand in his.
It made him feel a little confused sometimes—the way he craved being near you every second, how his heart would race when you walked through the door of the common room.
No one made him feel the way you did, and no one ever would.
As the ‘loud’, playful kid who never took anything seriously, the way James craved your affection and acceptance was almost foreign, yet it’d become such common place that there were times where he didn’t even blink at its abnormality.
James just needed you, in a way that had become very apparent to everyone in the Gryffindor tower by the time the two of you were in sixth year.
When the two of you were alone, especially, things often got more affectionate and intimate.
Subtle touches lingered longer as the years went on, a casual arm laid over your shoulder sliding down to rest at your waist, him brushing your hair absentmindedly out of your face progressing into chaste kisses at your temples.
There was nothing innately romantic about it, even as your bodies laid together with James’ hands resting on the small of your back and in your hair. Your eyes closed, his glasses crooked on his nose, always ending with one of you pulling away when the lines of friendship became a little too blurred.
And then the cycle would begin again.
You would laugh, push him away, both of you would make a joke about how long you’d just ‘spiced up your friendship’, and it would repeat. Over and over.
James had never pushed for more, never let his hands wander too far or his lips to dip below your cheeks. There wasn’t anything to rush about. The two of you had a pace, and you stuck to it.
A slow, devastatingly languid pace that managed to fit you both perfectly.
James’d tried getting into casual relationships before, to redirect his inherent need for you onto somebody else, but it was always too rough, to rushed, like the only end goal was get the two of them out of their clothes as quickly as possible. He didn’t like that kind of relationship. It just felt wrong to him.
So he found himself going back to you – always.
He didn’t like anyone more, no one made him feel the way you did. So who cared if what you had was a little outside the ‘traditional boundaries’ of friendship? The two of you were close, best friends.
You just happened to need each other.
The two of you made a promise when you’d started to add kisses into your ‘friendship’, that no matter what happened between you two, you would always be friends first and foremost.
James would never be anything less than your best friend, he couldn’t — he cared about you too much, and just the thought of losing you, losing his best friend, made his stomach twist like someone was wringing his insides out.
The Marauders? They were a great distraction, but the other three could never compare to you.
Sirius knew he was as gay as rainbow and was completely out, Remus already had a very ‘colourful’ love life, and Peter had his fair share of crushes from time to time.
James had none of that, he just had you.
But that was all that he needed.
You’d never know he’d started to look at you a little differently anyway, James prided himself on having a perfect poker face, almost as good as Sirius’, if not better at times.
So you’d go back to being the best of friends, and James would ignore how his heart beat faster anytime you were alone together, or how his thoughts strayed to your lips whenever there was a moment of silence.
He couldn’t imagine being without you.
It was just a fact.
The sky was blue. Fire was hot. You and James Potter were destined to be a pair.
Because if he didn’t have you, his beautiful, kind, brilliant best friend, he didn’t know what he’d do.
So the two of you continued as usual, you shared jokes, played pranks together, played with each other in the corridors when the marauders were around, and shared chaste kisses and cuddles when you were alone.
You were best friends, and you always would be.
Because that’s what it was.
A friendship.
The two of you weren’t ‘dating’ and, despite Sirius’ teasing that it was only a ‘matter of time’, it would never be anything ‘more’ than that.
You knew it. James knew it.
Because you’d promised each other. The two of you were friends above everything. Just friends.
Best friends, who knew everything about each other.
James knew what you ate for breakfast everyday, what time you showered, when you slept and how to wake you.
And you knew James’s exact routine after a bad day - what music he played when he didn’t want to think, when he needed company and when he wanted to be alone. You could count the number of times you’d seen James cry on one hand, but you’d been there to dry his tears every time he had.
You were a part of each other, two people who’d fit so perfectly together everyone around you expected you to just ‘click’ eventually and start dating, but you’d never considered it.
You were fine as you were, as best friends with an affection that bordered on being more, it was comfortable. Safe.
Even if James started to wake from increasingly detailed dreams of you, panting and blushing, with heat coiled tightly in his stomach.
He never thought about it.
He’d continue to live in his ignorant bliss just to keep your friendship going, and that was more than okay by him.
Because who cared that James Potter was in love with his best friend?
Not him.
It was just better for him, healthier for him, to stay ignorant of the true depth of his feelings for you and enjoy the friendship the two of you shared. It was better than losing you.
It was easier to just keep things platonic, to laugh about the jokes Sirius made about the two of you ‘being something more’ and ignore the way his heart raced whenever he felt your breath against his skin as you whispered in his ear, and it was easier to act as though your heart didn’t flutter whenever James would wrap his arms around you and press you tightly to his chest.
Ignorance was bliss. And the two of you were revelling in it like it was the only thing keeping you alive.
#marauders#marauders fanfiction#harry potter fanfiction#james potter x reader#james potter#james potter fluff#asks 🪶
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Americano PT. 12 | Jude Bellingham x Reader
What happens if two individuals who absolutely despise each other are forced to interact after unforeseen events occur?
A/N: life has been hectic with family drama, getting my exam results soon and making a decision for my future based on those possible outcomes. even so, I loveee writing, that’s why this took me longer than normal. enjoy reading, and goodnight or good morning wherever you are! 🫶
W/C: 3.366
part eleven
Throughout the heart-stuttering night, Jude struggled to get the full rest he needed for training the next afternoon.
He was thankful training was scheduled later than usual because he’d struggled to get even a wink of sleep.
After the sudden way the girl had launched herself into his arms, crying herself back to sleep as he whispered sweet, reassuring words to her- Jude’s thoughts were a complete mess.
Noticing her sleeping state, he'd shifted in her bed, leaning back into her pink satin pillows. Her head lying on his bare chest.
He had adjusted her head and arms carefully, making sure she wouldn’t touch his injured shoulder through the night.
And then?
He was stuck, only realizing how restricting the position was when she calmed down, especially considering how rigid his body had gone at the contact.
His mouth went dry and glass of water he had abruptly woken up for earlier was not even within the bounds of his thoughts.
Jude would not stop glancing down at her.
How could he not?
The way her bedside lamp had been hitting her face, the warm lighting giving him a clear look and emphasizing the softness of her state.
Fast asleep, trusting him in her most vulnerable state, drunk and asleep.
It all made his heart thump in his ears, her calm breaths leaving through her nose and hitting his skin.
Jude had witnessed her drunken state before, weeks ago, back in London. A night that had taken a wrong turn unexpectedly.
He couldn't lie, the entire situation had him worked up from beginning to end.
Images of beating the creep’s face bloody, even more than y/n's bag had done, flashed through his head.
Even when he when was lying in bed that night, sleepless- like this night.
Shit.
My head is pounding, pounding like I've banged my head against the wall a multitude of times.
A splitting headache was the last thing I would want on a workday.
Why did I drink the night before a workday again?
I rub my eyes, squeezing them shut, to try to combat the pain in my head.
My satin pillow was oddly hard at the moment, making me groan in annoyance.
Did my pillow transform into a rock overnight?
"Will you pretend to be asleep for another ten minutes, or are you going to wake up?"
My soul almost escapes my body at the noise. I jump up, something resembling a scream leaving my lips.
My eyes widen as I scramble, not believing both my eyes and ears as I look at a shirtless, tired Jude, in my bed.
Jude..
In my bed.
"What are you doing?!" I scream, looking down at my body, screaming even louder internally.
I snatch my blanket from the other side of the mattress, covering up my body- even when realizing I'm still fully dressed, exactly like I was last night before..
What the fuck even happened yesterday?
I watch Jude cover his ears, facial expression unreadable as I distance myself from him.
"Can you please stop shouting?" The brum accent spits. I watch the wrinkles on his forehead etch deeper, a loud huff leaving his mouth.
"What are you- Why are you in my bed?"
The sight is..
"And where is your shirt?!" I ask, voice higher pitched than I ever imagined would leave my lips.
I step back from my bed, the blanket around me like a do-it-yourself cape, seeing him surrounded by my pink, cotton, and satin bedsheets and pillows.
I run a hand down my face, my head starting pound more. I expect to see a nasty sheen of cakey makeup on my fingers- except there is nothing..
"Jude.. Say something.." I plead, urging him to spit out an explanation for- whatever this is.
"It's.." He breathes out, sitting up. I watch him wince, a hand traveling up from his bicep to his shoulder, his mouth forming a line.
I bite on my tongue, watching him like a hawk. I probably look like an absolute mess. My dress is wrinkled, hair a mess and my breath has to smell foul.
Since when did I care about how I looked in front of this douche?
"It's nothing important." He finally says, making anger course through my veins.
"What do you mean? You're half naked in my bed!”
He gets off the mattress, feet hitting the gray parquet flooring. Jude doesn't reply, instead, he walks past the bed, towards the door.
"Hey! Aren't you going to answer-"
"Get cleaned up.." He says rudely, walking out of my room. Only for me to hear the loud slamming of his door.
There's no way something didn't happen last night..
"The taxi is here.." I mumble, placing my sunglasses on my face. Dark-tinted glasses helping me with my headache and giving me a small mask to hide behind.
I looked like a rat who'd recently escaped from a sewer.
I hadn't spoken to Jude all morning after our weird screaming match.
Could he blame me?
He was in my bed, atrocious considering the weird tension between us, especially since he'd been living in my house.
What it meant? I couldn’t figure it out. Nor could I figure out if this positive or negative..
I hear him make a noise in acknowledgment, making him stand up from the couch. Blue toiletry bag- probably way too expensive for what it's worth, in his arms as he makes his way to the front door.
We annoyingly had to take the taxi to the training grounds this morning, mostly due to my hangover.
But also, because I'm not sure I could drive Jude to the training center without threatening to leave him at the side of the road if he didn't fess up about what happened last night.
I shouldn't be trusted to drive in this state.
I step into the taxi, greeting the driver before shutting up and resting my eyes for the rest of the ride. Though, my interest gets peaked when he begins chatting with Jude about the football club.
"Champions League very good- big chance for Madrid." The driver speaks in limited English.
Again, there is a jumble of mutated Spanglish being spoken.
I tune out Jude's reply. It's probably something egoistic and stupid, like usual.
Of course, my biggest wish every season is for Real Madrid to do well.
But my judgement was clouded when it came to Jude speaking of winning.
My eyes shift back to the driver when we arrive at the training grounds, making me step out immediately as the two of them take photos together.
The fare?
Jude could pay, and I'd be happy to make him pay for the rest of the rides we took together.
I should make him pay for gas, right- I have to..
I adjust the sunglasses on my face, looking around swiftly before practicing running into the training center.
I greet everyone haphazardly, my black trench coat making me look like a vilanized inspector gadget.
This will be a long, long day..
"So, any reason you were stepping out of a taxi with a certain someone?" I hear Lina say, making me raise my brow. The painkiller I had taken earlier helping me a little more than I expected.
I had the nosiest colleagues ever. I thought I made sure no one else saw us.
"Oh, I noticed him in the taxi, so I just caught a ride." I explain, a shitty lie definitely too easy to catch.
"Sure, not like you’d rather be caught dead than share a car with him.." She trails off, the corners of her mouth twitching in amusement as she twirls a lock of her hair with her finger.
"Yeah, didn't expect he would stop at the light next to the train station.."
Fuck, was there a connection between a hangover and not being able to lie?
Even a child could spot my bullshit from kilometers away.
"So, on the most random day you take the train, you spot him in a taxi?"
"Yeah." I mutter, looking away from her, chugging my leftover coffee.”
"And why did you take the train again?"
"I'm hungover from last night. Was out late with Luis." I explain shortly, pointing my fork towards the bored cameraman.
I watch him fidgeting with his camera lens, across the room, not looking very happy.
"He doesn't look good at all." She observes, opening up a pack of gummies.
"He was hitting it off with this girl, but I spilled my drink on him." I wince at the last memory of last night, still trying to rack my mind for the other memories.
"She asked if I was his girlfriend." I add, wanting to hit my head against my desk, but it was pounding enough from earlier anyway.
This was probably my punishment for not letting him have a good time..
"That's shitty.." Lina disapproves, clicking her tongue at me.
"I was drunk, okay? I'm the first person rooting for him and his love life, you know that."
"You need to root for your own love life. You’ve literally been single since I've known you."
Here we go again.
"I don't need a man. I need money, so stop talking and please continue helping me with this draft.”
"You look tired, man. Did you rest properly?"
Jude looks up from his seat in the cafeteria, teammates surrounding him as they all chat about what they did on their days off.
"No, I'm good- just thinking of what to eat." He replies, looking at Brahim. Sending him an appreciative smile at how observant his teammate is.
Throughout his months in Madrid, he had been having an absolute blast bonding and becoming familiar with his new teammates.
Even with the barriers of language, he had found it interesting how everyone could understand each other so well- even with the jumble of languages thrown around during training and in the locker rooms.
He had his Spanish lessons, of course, and they were helping immensely. But Jude had to admit to himself, though his ego- not speaking the language fluently did make him feel left out of certain things on occasion.
Small jokes, little silly comments. Things he could only understand after someone was nice enough to translate them quickly.
He didn’t think anyone would notice, not like they’d care, but from a short distance, y/n did notice.
When she would step onto the pitch during training, interviews, even the small chats in the gym.
He was unaware of it, even now as, she sat on the other side of the room, having lunch with her own group of colleagues.
Jude hadn’t picked up on the pitying look on her face, or the way she would glance away when he’d look in her direction.
Slowly and unknowingly, the translating became a habit. Some things she would even say in English unconsciously when talking to the team.
It wasn't anyone's fault, obviously. Only a matter of time and practice could make sure he'd fit even better with his new team. Undoubtedly, his new home for the next couple years.
"What's with her, though? I thought she was capable enough to murder me with her stare alone.."
"I've never seen y/n look like that."
Jude perks up at the name, though not understanding every single word. His eyes scan the table to see who's decided to speak about the girl he couldn’t stop thinking about since last night.
His eyes land on the guys he's closest to, the very much loved French duo in the team.
Leaning in, and taking a sip of his water, he speaks to them.
"What is with her?" He asks, trying to sound as clueless and uninterested as possible, but the two men glance at each other. A knowing, teasing look in both their eyes.
"y/n, she looks bad today.." Aurélien speaks, informing him.
Jude frowns at the words, probably a translation mistake, he thinks.
"Know about it?" Eduardo jumps in, sending a questioning look to the number five.
"No, just curious about what you guys are talking about.”
He mutters, keeping his volume down, not to attract the attention of the other players.
He didn't want anyone to speak about this, about what she looked like, what she did, not about her.
He pokes his tongue into the inside of his cheek, mind pondering. A stinging and burning sensation of jealousy and protectiveness twisting his thoughts.
It’s just the sleeplessness, he thinks, it’s making him go insanely delusional. He huffs, shaking his head in dismissal.
"My dad is coming back home in two days.."
"Okay.."
"He will handle your case as a first priority. Tell your mom."
"Okay."
y/n twists her neck in annoyance, scrolling through her phone. Ever since those rumors, from back in London- she had a crazy feeling of being actively witch hunted online.
Even so, she had decided yesterday not to give a fuck anymore. Scrolling through her Instagram explore page and blocking every single football drama account she saw.
Out of sight, out of mind.
"Will you respond like a normal human being? Ai has better responses than you."
"What do you want me to say? Jump up and celebrate?"
She sighs, kicking her feet up and making herself comfortable on the couch.
Should she bite the bullet and ask again?
"Jude.."
An annoyed grumble is heard in response.
"Did we, you know, do something. Is that why you're being so, awkward?"
She practically dies inside at her own words, obviously sexual in undertone. Wanting to smack herself right in the face.
Really? That's what she asked?
She resisted the urge to walk into the bathroom and grab the superglue to glue her mouth shut.
She should just never speak again. Problem solved.
y/n raises her head reluctantly to watch his reaction, surprise clad all his face.
"Are you crazy? I wouldn't touch you- especially, when you're drunk, and wailing out for your mother.."
Jude stops, mentally cursing himself for blurting out those stupid words.
Had he gone too far? Confessing to too much information he didn't have to share?
Was it something he should have kept between himself and whatever deity or anything that watched over the universe?
Her blood practically stops pumping, and the shock of his words make her stop mid-overthinking.
Her mother?
She'd let herself get that vulnerable, to the point of speaking of her mother?
A silence falls between the two, the both of them wishing they'd kept their mouths closed.
"When did I?" She cuts the tension with her shaky words, avoiding eye contact as she sits up.
How could she let that happen? Yes, of course, the absence of a mother could be noticed in her life, and others not very close to her could be curious.
It was a very sensitive matter to her, and the wound of grieving could be one that would feel fresh years and even decades later.
"Last night- No, the day before yesterday.." He says, voice deeper than usual.
'Idiot, you should go on a detox and never, ever touch something as simple as a shot of vodka.'
The thoughts and assumptions brew in her mind, and she takes a breath before asking.
"Was it bad?"
Night terrors, they weren't something she had carried into her adult life, at least not lately.
They became a thing after the fact, and therapy sessions during her teenage years in England had definitely helped immensely.
She did notice changes in her behavior when confronted with the idea of not having a mother, even later in life. She could have as many women in her live as possible, but eventually she felt as if nothing could ever compare to a mother’s love.
And that, that was still confronting to know years later.
It brewed jealousy in her mind and soul. Seeing Luis go on brunch dates with his mother. Amira talking about the fashion shows she'd attended with her mom.
And Jude..
The relationship he had with his mother was absolutely beautiful, so beautiful she couldn't help the pit forming in her stomach when they interacted.
Even when his mother came over to her house to check up on them. Not that the two adults needed it, a mother's love is to care for her child. In more ways than just saying, 'I love you' or 'Do you need any help?'.
It was also watching and observing, allowing your child to grow up into a beautiful human being while staying healthy and being there for them.
"No, not at all." He lies, it's for the best, he thinks.
Judging from her expression, there is no need for more embarrassment or honesty that will turn sour.
y/n nods her head, and realizing her slipping mental state and thoughts, she stands up.
"I'll go to bed early tonight.." She mumbles, not bothering to hear his response, feet hitting the staircase with haste and impatience as she retreats into the comfort of her own room.
Leaving a confused, conflicted Jude behind in the living room.
Pity, is all he could describe the empty feeling. Words he wants to say, like bile, rising up to his throat, only to never leave his mouth.
"Make sure you have your dress ready, y/n. I don't want you scrambling to the mall the day before the party." My dad speaks, placing his apron on the hook beside the kitchen counter.
"Come on-"
I huff, rolling my eyes as if to dismiss his words.
"You did it last year, and the year before that."
He had been back for- not even twenty-four hours, and all he did was; nag, complain, and nag some more.
Thankfully, I had cleaned up the house a little before he arrived, so that would be a topic avoided today.
"Did you vacuum the stairs too?"
Or not.
I open my mouth to give him a snarky reply, but he beats me.
"Never mind that, just make sure you have everything you need on time."
With the end of the year coming closer, the annual co-hosted New Year’s party between Real Madrid and my dad's firm would take place.
It was absolutely grand every time, and this year wouldn't be that much different from what I had heard from my father.
"Actually, you know, since I'm not a teenager anymore.." I begin, batting my eyelashes with sass.
"I planned my outfit with Amira's help, so don't you worry about last-minute mall runs."
"Good, I just hope it's not too short- even worse if it has ten different cutouts." He says, the exhaustion in his face way too visible.
His business trip, and the situation with Jude had probably been keeping him busy and up until late.
At least the party could help him unwind a bit.
"I assure you. No ten cutouts.."
"Alright, dinner is ready. Go ahead and call Jude down for me."
I grab the kitchen marble in annoyance, nails grazing it and making small scratching sounds.
"Can't I just shout from here?" I ask, pleading eyes looking at his.
"Now.." He warns again, pushing me away from the counter.
Jude and I hadn't talked more than five sentences, respectively, a day since that day. It felt weird, like I'd just been stripped naked and vulnerable, all for him to see.
But I'd been curious about him, even if I tried to deny it.
He'd been going out of the house more often, hanging with friends and teammates at their houses. Mostly, since I'd warned and threatened him early on about bringing people over, let alone anyone knowing we'd been living together for the past few weeks.
With a heavy heart, I walk up to his door, knocking harshly and jumbling out a 'dinner is ready' before dashing down the stairs, back into the kitchen.
So much, too much had happened within a short period of time, and I honestly couldn't even begin to process it head-on.
At least I had a warm meal to keep me occupied for now.
Oh, and lovely tension at the dinner table..
#jude bellingham#jude bellingham fanfic#bellingham x reader#football fanfic#football imagines#football#footballer x reader#real madrid fc#real madrid#football blurb#football imagine#jude bellingham imagine#bellingham#jude bellingham x reader#jude x reader
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Childhood friends to lovers w modern Jace and he’s just really protective over you. When they go out to a party, he’s just begging you to not start anything with any guys, and he’s lowkey mad at you for wearing something revealing. You end up really drunk to the point where Jace has to take you home and you’re just rlly touchy and bold, confessing things you would never say if you sober. And he’s just being flirty back and teasing you abt the stuff you’re saying about him. Idek where this is going but like eventual smut. 😩 Ty, your works are so good.
I love college modern!Jace. To my eyes, he is always part of the hockey team and friends with Cregan. This is how I see modern!Jace
Sorry, I didn't do smut because consent when drunk is not valid consent (you know what I mean?) but everything else is checked!
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
—
Jace sat on your bed as you finished getting ready in your bathroom. He played with the ears of your purple giraffe plushie, smiling when he saw the friendship bracelet still tied to its neck.
‘’Do you know if Jason is gonna be there tonight?’’
‘’Lannister?’’
You hummed and Jace grimaced.
‘’He’s a fucking asshole and only want you for sex. Don’t talk to him. Okay?’’
You rolled your eyes in the mirror, tired of Jace disapproving of every guy you talked to. He wasn't trying to make all guys seem bad; he just knew them and their intentions better than you. He was looking out for you.
And you trusted his judgment.
‘’Yes, dad,’’ you replied sarcastically as you came out of the bathroom.
Jace’s head lifted when you came into view, his breath catching in his throat when he saw the top you were wearing. To his eyes, this was a bra — with a longer bodice. While you looked really good in it, guys at the party will think the same and oggle you in ways that would make Jace want to punch them.
‘’Eh, is there a second shirt that goes over this one?’’
You frowned at his question. ‘’No. Why? What’s wrong with my shirt?’’
Jace took a few seconds to think of a way of saying that your shirt was showing a lot without sounding like he was calling you slutty. ‘’Aren’t you gonna get cold? It’s nearly November.’’
You shrugged, grabbing your phone and dorm keys. ‘’I’m fine. You always give me your jacket when I get cold.’’
‘’Right. But maybe you should take a jacket with you? In case I’m not available to give you mine.’’
‘’Not available?’’ Your lips curled into a mischievous smirk. ‘’Jacaerys Velaryon, are you planning on leaving with a girl tonight?’’ you teased, poking at his chest. You’ve seen him kissing girls at parties, but he never left with any of them.
He ignored your question, clearly not wanting to discuss his romantic life. ‘’Let’s go. Cregan is already on his third beer. I need to get my revenge on air hockey before he gets too drunk.’’
You laughed, slipping your phone into your small purse. ‘’Can I play too?’’
‘’We’ll see,’’ Jace said, slinging an arm around your shoulders as you walked out of your dorm.
It’s not that he didn’t want you to play. You’ve played with the boys before. It’s just that your shirt was not ideal for playing air hockey. If you leaned on the table, everything would be exposed and he didn’t like the idea of his friends looking at your tits.
The music was loud at the frat house, plunging everyone into the ambiance. You were sipping your second drink and dancing with your friends after watching Cregan annihilate Jace at air hockey. Jace seemed distracted, his eyes scanning the room instead of focusing on the game. Maybe he was searching for a girl?
Shaking off the thought, you headed to the kitchen and made yourself another drink. You should be happy if he found someone he liked, but the truth was, you were secretly jealous. He had been your best friend since kindergarten, you should have dibs on him.
You put the caps back on the bottles and reached for your glass, but someone snatched it away.
‘’Hey! Give it back!’’
‘’No more drinks for you,’’ Jace said from behind you, pouring the contents of your glass into the sink.
‘’It’s my first drink. Okay, maybe my second…or third.’’ A giggle escaped your lips. You were a lightweight when it came to drinking, a fact you always seemed to forget. ‘’I think I’m a little tipsy.’’
Jace raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. ‘’Tipsy?’’ He shook his head and suggested you head home and watch Grey’s Anatomy.
You pouted, not wanting to leave the party just yet, but the thought of watching Grey's Anatomy with Jace sounded nice. He was always so invested in the episodes and characters, but it was a secret. If his teammates knew, they would never let him live it down.
His arm was around you, leading you out of the frat house and into the cool night air. As you walked back to your dorm, you couldn’t help but feel grateful for Jace’s presence. You didn’t know many guys who would offer to take their drunk friend home without any bad intentions.
‘’You’re a good person, Jace,’’ you said, his jacket over your shoulders. ‘’Always looking out for me.’’
He chuckled, pulling you closer when a group of drunk guys walked by. ‘’What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?’’
You didn’t respond.
Once you were at your dorm, you set up your laptop and settled into your small bed. It was a tight fit, but you and Jace made it work.
The episode started where you left off.
‘’Who do you think is better? McDreamy or McSteamy?’’ you asked as Derek appeared on the screen.
‘’I don’t know,’’ Jace responded, lying comfortably against your pillows. ‘’Mark is eye-candy, but I think early seasons McDreamy was peak.’’
You nodded, laying your head against Jace’s shoulder. ‘’Same. I have a soft spot for brunets. And curly hair.’’
‘’Derek doesn’t have curly hair…’’
‘’But you do and it’s cute.’’
‘’You think my hair is cute?’’ Jace repeated, teasing you.
‘’It’s so curly and bouncy. And soft too.’’ You twirled one of Jace’s curly hair around your finger, your fingers lingering as position caused your chest to press slightly against his. ‘’And you smell very good. Except when you play hockey. You’re stinky.’’
Jace laughed, the sound vibrating through your body. ‘’Good to know. I’ll make sure I shower before seeing you.’’
You smiled, your fingers still playing with his hair. ‘’You’re so pretty.’’
Your last compliment took him by surprise, his cheeks flushing. Had you not been intoxicated on alcohol, tonight would have taken a different turn, but Jace was respectful. He would never make a move without your sober consent.
‘’Eh, thanks. Let's...let's continue watching Greys.’’
—
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jason todd x biker partner
A/N : just a few thoughts on jason written at midnight, not really proofread, so be kind. might make this a mini series, so feel free to send in any asks of jason with a biker partner :)
- i hc jason with a civilian gf because he has had enough of the vigilante life and having someone “normal” anchors him in the best way possible
- but him with a biker, jesus-
- so lowkey a badass because that just goes with being a biker
- anyway it’s just a pairing that precious to me
- so you guys would meet on your bikes duh
- maybe it’s the middle of the night
- maybe you’re both waiting for a super long red light
- and you know, when you pull up next to him you give him a curt nod, keeping to yourself because yeah maybe you’re a bit intimidated and scared to talk to the hot hunk of man on a supersport bike next you
- but when the light takes even longer than usual, you sigh as you realize what’s happening
- he realizes at about the same time too and his shoulders drop before he looks at you
- “it doesn’t see us, does it?” he asks, his voice muffled by the helmet
- you don’t hear what he says at first and scramble to turn your music off
- “sorry, what did you say?”you ask apologetically, your voice way higher than usual
- he pushes up his visor, chuckling and it’s a sound you’d like to fall in love to
- “i said, i don’t think it sees us,” he jerks the bottom of his helmet in the stop light’s direction
- your eyes stay on what you can see of his face and the black lashes surrounding his dark eyes
- “no, it definitely doesn’t”
- long story short you end up sitting on his ridiculously broad shoulders at 1 am, waving your arms around like a clown, trying to get the light to see you and turn green
- it finally does and after lots of laughing and some flirting, you both get back on your bikes and continue with your night
- but of course you can’t get the hot biker out of your head, not after he laughed at your jokes and lifted you up like you weighed nothing
- not after the searing warmth of his large hands on your thighs, of the words of praise that had left his mouth as he urged you to move around for the sensor
- not after he had been so gentle about putting you down, making sure you were okay
- not after the way he’d let out a giggle when you’d bumped your helmets together when he was setting you down
- needless to say each time you rode your bike or walked around in Gotham, your eyes wandered, hoping to catch sight of the red helmet once more
- you hated yourself for not asking for his number and thought about it at least one a day for weeks
- but you don’t see him for a while, almost long enough for you to forget about him
- almost
- then one evening you break down with your bike
- you don’t know what happened, one sec you were going well above the speed limit, doing fine, and the next second your engine was spluttering and you were hurriedly pulling over, trying not to get hit by any passing cars
- you curse your rotten luck as you helplessly look around your bike, trying to see the cause of the problem
- until you heard an engine
- you recognize the sound, of course, desperate hopeless romantic you were
- and there he was, your knight in shining red helmet
- he pulls over, as does a good biker when he sees a member of his community in trouble, before recognizing you
- “Oh, it’s you !!” he’d exclaimed, sounding genuinely happy to see you as he set his bike on its peg, smoothly getting off
- subconsciously, you wandered how he moved with such grace when he was just so big
- “Yep, it’s me,” you sheepishly answered, hoping you’d have met again under less embarrassing circumstances
- “are you all right?” he’d asked, that concern lacing his low voice again, making your knees weak
- “yeah, yeah, i’m fine, it just died on me and i don’t know why or how to fix it”
- he looked around your bike, commenting on how nice it is (no, you did not blush), poked and prodded a few things before explaining to you what was wrong with it
- you didn’t really remember, all you needed to know was that your bike needed to be towed
- which wouldn’t have been that much of a problem had you been closer to your apartment
- but no, you were a good 45 min drive away with no bike and no apparent way to get home other than calling up one of your friend to come pick you up
- “where do you live?”
- you startle at that and jason immediately puts his hands up
- you ignore the way you see the material of his jacket strain because of the bulge of his muscles
- “sorry, fuck, that must sound super creepy ! i meant that i could drop you off if you like, if you want me to. i totally understand if you don’t though, if you’re not comfortable with that or anything!!”
- you kind of want to cry because he’s so kind and thoughtful and sweet
- “if you’re sure you wouldn’t mind, that would be really great. i live in gotham.”
- “no kidding ? me too.”
- and so that’s how you finally get his number
#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd fic#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd x biker
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When Tulips Kiss | Hwang Hyunjin SMAU
CHAPTERS: 𝜗𝜚 eight | nine | 𝜗𝜚 ten
WORD COUNT: 3.5k (not proofread)
CONTAINS: implied sexual intercourse, very brief mention of an insecure body image (only once), it gets a little toxic towards the end
happy birthday
March 19, 2020 - 06:30.
It was that time of the year when the weather would fluctuate vastly, going from perfect during the day, to chilly when it was the moon’s time to shine. It was that time of the year when the South Korean winter finally began its time to thaw out, revealing the longer-lasting days, giving proper energy from the sun for the first bloom of the spring flowers. March was always the start of a beautiful spring, and it was home to the birthday of a person you cherish and love very deeply. Waking up with the sun peeking through the sheer curtains, you roll over to find your boyfriend lying there, sound asleep, and you find yourself staring at his sleeping figure for god knows how long. Eventually, you decide to get up from the bed, but not before you plant a gentle kiss on his forehead. Yours and Hyunjin’s articles of clothing decorated the floor of his room as memories from last night flashed through your mind. Standing in front of the full-length body mirror, your fingertips traced and connected all the love bites that adorned your skin. You weren’t sure how long you were standing there, but it wasn’t until the man you love, who was now awake, spoke, and snapped you out of your trance.
“You’re so perfect,” Hyunjin muttered softly before standing up and embracing you from behind.
“I love you my honeybee, but I have to disagree with you, I haven’t been feeling the best about my body lately.” you sighed, and before you knew it, you were thrown onto the bed and attacked with his hands tickling your sides.
“HYUNJIN NO STOP!!” You cried out in laughter as you squirmed around, trying to get away. The sound of Hyunjin’s laughter blended together with yours, the both of you were being so loud that you were sure his neighbors were able to hear. But you didn’t care, they were probably used to it anyway.
“Take it back and I stop!!” Hyunjin giggles as you thrash around.
“I take it back!!”
“ARE YOU PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE??”
“Yes!! Yes, I’m perfect just the way I am now please stop before I pee myself!!!!” You plead with laughter as the boy on top of you finally stops with a smug grin on his face.
“Damn right you are, you’re gorgeous and I wouldn’t change a thing about you.” Hyunjin leans down and places his lips on the tip of your ear, kissing down to your jawline, then your neck, then your shoulders and collarbone.
“I love and absolutely ADORE everything about you. You’re so perfect, inside and out.” He mumbles against your warm and sunkissed skin. He moves down to your waist and gives kisses on each side before caressing them, and you can’t help but let out a small whimper as he chuckles.
“I love your personality, I love your voice and the sound of your laughter, I love the way you get excited over every little thing, I love your curves. I love the curves on your body but I love it on your lips the most. My flower, you are so perfect and I can’t stand the thought of you feeling like you’re anything less than that. Now let’s get up, yeah? Let’s get you dressed and we can go downstairs and cook some breakfast.” He lifts himself off of you and reaches out his hand for you to grab and pull yourself up with. As his back turns to fetch you one of his shirts from his closet, you smile to yourself subconsciously. You and your loving boyfriend have been together for 2 almost 3 years since the beginning of freshman year, and now you guys are juniors who soon have to bid goodbye and greet your senior year instead. You couldn’t have asked for anyone better, because there’s nobody else for you but him.
“Lift your arms, Baby.” Hyunjin's softspoken tone soothes you and you do what you’re told so he can dress you in his shirt. Holding your hand, he leads you to the door and downstairs to the kitchen. “Now let’s cook, I’m fucking starving!!”
March 19, 2020 - 12:30.
“The bell needs to ring already… I hate this class so much like SERIOUSLY!! I hate history!!” One of your best friends, Jisung, groaned and slammed his head on the table, causing a loud thud noise. You winced just from hearing the impact and tilted your head in concern.
“Are you…. Okay?” You asked as he groaned even more while rubbing his head before hesitantly nodding, paying his attention back to the teacher, who had then just started explaining that she will be assigning a new project, a project that she will be assigning partners to. Everyone in the class collectively expressed their dismay but the teacher shushed everyone, proceeding to pair students up. You and Jisung looked at each other and rolled your eyes, before laughing to yourselves. Everybody hated this class, and it was hard to defend it. The two of you talked to each other about basically anything until she finally called your name to be paired up with someone.
“Song Y/N, you will be paired with Lee Heeseung. One of you, please grab your stuff and move next to each other.”
You sighed and pouted as Jisung pouted back at you, your hopes of being paired with someone you know, gone. Right when you were about to get up to move, Heeseung had already stood up and moved next to you with a flashy smile.
“Hey Y/N!” Heeseung greeted you and held his hand out as you shook it, “It’s so nice to meet you. I’ve heard about you before! Hyunjin’s girl right? He never shuts up about you. You’re as pretty as he describes.”
You nod as a light blush dusted your cheeks. Even 3 years after you guys became official, you still get shy and surprised whenever people mention that Hyunjin talks about you so much. “Thank you. Heeseung right? It’s nice to meet you too.” After the small talk and greetings, you guys proceeded to talk about the dreaded project that your teacher assigned up until the lunch bell rang.
“I’m assuming you’re going to meet up with Hyunjin right? Can I come with? I gotta give him the notes he missed yesterday.” The boy you just met asked with a shy grin and you agreed to let him come. The walk to the library, the place you always meet Hyunjin at, was awkward and you guys didn’t really talk, and if you did, it would just be simple one-word answers that you couldn’t continue a conversation with. It felt like an eternity until you guys FINALLY reached the library, and when you guys did, you took a seat at an available table and tapped the seat in front of you, signaling for him to sit down too.
“Soo… How do you know Hyunjin?” You questioned, wanting to know more about this friend? Acquaintance? Whatever he is to Hyunjin because, well, he knows Hyunjin!
“We have chemistry together! OH! I just remembered something but you can’t tell Hyunjin.” Heeseung stood up from his chair and leaned down to your ear.
“There’s a surprise party for his birthday tomorrow, I’m sure you already know that though. BUT I need help picking out a present for him. I was talking to him the other day and he said that you were the one who knew him best.” He whispers in your ear before straightening his back then rests his arms on his hips, “So I thought maybe you could help me with that too!”
“Oh, I’m down! When did you wanna do it?” You ask so you can make sure that you tell Hyunjin that you’re going to be busy.
“Let’s go out later today just you and me, but you have to make sure not to tell Hyunjin. Make an excuse or something!” Heeseung gave you a thumbs-up, and you copied his gesture with a smile.
“Okay, can I get your number so I can text you when we can go?” He gives you his phone shyly and you take it, inputting your number in.
“I should get going, I didn’t think it would take Hyunjin this long to come and I gotta meet up with my friends for lunch. Cya! Thanks for the help!” He waves goodbye and you wave back, but what he said has you thinking. You look at your phone and the time. 20 minutes have passed and he’s still not here? And no notifications either? You decided to wait a little longer, just in case something came up and he had to be a little late, but you couldn’t help but worry so you text him just in case.
March 19, 2020 - 16:00.
The tuned melody of the dismissal bell rang throughout the school as the chatter of students quickly rose and flooded your ears. You would usually be happy and peppy by now, joyous that the school day had ended, but you didn’t have a good feeling and it felt as if something was wrong. Hyunjin hadn’t gotten back to you, not even a single text. The thought of something possibly happening to him made you sick to your stomach, but all you could do was pray that he would meet you by your locker. So there you were, waiting for your boyfriend to come by and tell you that everything was going to be okay and that you were just worried over nothing. You were constantly scanning your surroundings in hopes of seeing the boy you love so much as you anxiously bounced your leg on the ground at an impressive rate of speed.
You look at your phone, and it’s blank. It’s 16:15 and the halls are nearly empty, as most of the students have already left the school. Fuck. Where is he??? You look around you for the thousandth time today and you finally lock eyes with him.
“Hyunjin!!” You practically lunged yourself at him and clung onto his arm, letting out a sigh of relief that you didn’t know you were holding in. “Jinnie I missed you so much I was worried sick! Why weren’t you responding to my texts?” You interrogated in a slightly joking manner but at he did was stare at you with a blank expression and shove you off of him as you lost your balance and tumbled back, only to leave you stunned.
“Fuck outta here.” He scoffed and continued on walking as you stood there, shocked at what just happened. All you could do was stare at the back of his head, watching his figure slowly walking away.
What the fuck?
March 19, 2020 - 19:30.
“Maybe something happened and got him in a really bad mood? BUT EVEN SO, that’s no excuse to be rude to you, and especially not to swear at you!!” You were at Chuu’s house now, and you had explained to her what happened and what Hyunjin did to you after school. Just then, you hear a notification go off on your phone, and you immediately go to check if it was Hyunjin who texted you, only to be let down after seeing that it was Heeseung who texted.
“Why won’t he even text me?” You sniffled and covered your face as more tears ran down. “We’ve never had trouble communicating what was going on in our lives before. Why now??”
Chuu immediately wraps you into a tight hug and pats your head. “Maybe he’s really stressed you know? I don’t blame you for feeling frustrated and upset about this because I would feel this way too, but Hyunjin loves you so much Y/N. There’s no doubt about it, and he’ll come around eventually so you two could talk things out. But for right now, let’s call the rest over, okay? Sleepover at my house!!” Chuu smiled the brightest she could to cheer you up, and you choked out a small laugh and laid your head on her shoulder.
“You’re the best.”
“Of courseee~~ NOW I’M GONNA TEXT THE GROUP CHAT SO WE COULD ALL HANG OUT!”
March 20, 2020 - 06:45.
Waking up to the sunlight shining on your face, you found yourself trapped between Seungmin and Chaewon’s arms, with Jeongin and Jisung sleeping at the bottom of your feet. The sight was…. interesting but it made you laugh to yourself a bit. No matter how weird and chaotic they are, there’s no doubt that they all love and care for one another like blood. You carefully slid out of your friends’ arms and reached for your phone for the time, but mostly to check if Hyunjin texted. It was morning time now, and still no texts or calls from your boyfriend. You can feel yourself starting to cry again, tears threatening to fall from your eyes as you walk yourself to Chuu’s bathroom to splash cold water on your face. Closing and locking the door behind you, you give your face a gentle wash. You turn your phone on again just to admire the candid picture you took of Hyunjin during one of the many arcade dates you guys went on. You smile a sad smile, looking at the picture fondly.
I hope he’s willing to talk to me today, it’s his birthday after all.
Despite him ignoring you, you decide to still send him a Happy Birthday text anyway, you love him after all, and you guys will overcome this.
Knock knock knock.
“Y/N you in there???” It was Seungmin, though he tried to keep his voice down so as to not wake the others up, you were still able to tell that his voice was laced with worry and urgency. The last thing you wanted was someone to be worried about you right now, so you stood up and opened the door for him with a smile that didn’t reach your eyes.
“Yeah, I’m okay. I think I’m gonna skip school today though.” You spoke in a soft but raspy voice as Seungmin slowly nodded in acknowledgment.
“Well if that’s the case, then I’m skipping too. No way in hell I’m gonna let you be by yourself. I trust you to be alone, but I just don’t want you to even FEEL alone.” He held your hands and wrapped an arm around your shoulder.
“Hyunjin’s being a little hardheaded and stubborn right now, but I know he loves you. We all know he loves you. HELL, even people who don’t know him could just observe the way he looks at you, and they would know that he loves you. So don’t be too sad alright? Not only does Hyunjin love you, but so do we.” He pinched your cheek as you whined and laughed for him to stop, alerting the others that you two were awake.
“Huh…. What time is it…” Jeongin mumbles sleepily and rubs his eyes, while the rest slowly wake up one by one.
“Me and Y/Nnie here aren’t going to school today. Are you guys gonna be losers and go to school or will you be cool and stay back with us?” Seungmin raised an eyebrow with an expecting look while Chuu, Jeongin, Jisung, and Chaewon shared a look before smiling.
“HELL YEAH LET’S SKIP!!!”
March 20, 2020 - 18:30.
You were nervous, to say the least. Here you were dressed up with the rest of your friends stepping foot in Hyunjin’s house. You were supposed to take part in the group that surprises him when he comes home, but you didn’t feel confident enough to face him yet. How could you feel confident? There was something wrong between the two of you and you weren’t sure of what it was. And you weren’t even sure if HE wanted to face YOU. He hadn’t responded to your happy birthday text, so you could imagine that he’s still upset, for whatever unknown reason, but you’re putting your foot down. You’re going to ask him what’s going on today. You looked around in hopes of finding Hyunjin amidst the crowd, and luck happened to be on your side today because there he was, staring right at you. Even if he was ignoring you, he couldn’t stop himself from admiring your beauty. Even after you guys made eye contact, he didn’t look away, so you did. You looked at Seungmin as he nodded and patted your head before giving you a thumbs up. “You’ve got this!” He encourages and pushes you towards the birthday boy.
The closer you get to him and the more steps you take, the more you feel uneasy and queasy about it. His eyes were still on you, never leaving, and you felt small under his gaze. It’s hard to read his emotions right now. Is he mad? Upset? Why is his expression so blank??? You finally stopped right in front of him as he looked down on you, waiting for you to say something. Yet, the longer you look at his face, the more noticeable his eyebags are and how bloodshot his eyes are.
“Happy Birthday Jinnie. Have you slept?” You asked with genuine concern, lifting your hand to his cheek and stroking it in a gentle manner, and you could almost feel him melt into your touch before he pulled your hand away, his gaze sharpening.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Hyunjin clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth to make a tch sound and rolled his eyes, and that was when you decided that was enough.
“Hyunjin I really don’t understand what’s going on. I love you and I care for you and I want to be there for you when you need it. You always let me before, why won’t you let me now??” You exhaled, frustration and sadness evident in your voice, and for a second, you felt his attitude falter. And for a second, he just wanted to fall back into your arms and pull you into his embrace. For a second, he wants to pull you in for a kiss and tell you how much he loves you and beg you to stay with him, but he can’t. So he shakes the feeling away, ignoring the heartache he’s feeling in his chest.
“I already know, you don’t need to play dumb.” He shrugs and it upsets you even more. Why is he being so nonchalant about this?? And what is he even talking about?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about? So please just make it clear to me because I want to fix this, fix us. I don’t know what I did but I would do anything to fix it.” You held his hand and pleaded, bringing his hand to your chest. “Please tell me what’s going on Hyunjin.”
The two of you managed to grab the attention of a few people, who then started whispering and watching what was going on, and Hyunjin noticed. He couldn’t embarrass himself in front of all these people and take you back, especially not on his birthday.
“Bullshit. You know what you did so stop playing innocent Y/N. You’re a piece of shit and I regret ever dating you.” He spat out as your eyes widened in shock, then welling up in tears.
“This,” Hyunjin points at you and then at him in a continuous motion, “was a mistake. You were never worth my time and I can’t believe I wasted 2, nearly 3 years of my life on somebody like you. I wonder just how long you managed to hide it from me.” He scoffed and began walking away from you, just like he had done yesterday. You could hear your friends calling your name and tugging on your arm, motioning for you to just leave it at that, but you tuned them out. Then, with tears spilling down your face, you caught up with Hyunjin and spun him around to get him to look at you, and it worked. You were unable to read what he was feeling when he saw you as a mess, but what he felt didn’t matter anymore. If he wants to paint you as an asshole, then you’ll be the asshole.
The loud slap that you gave him in front of everyone echoed through the house as you threw the gift you got him for his birthday at his chest. “Happy fucking birthday Hwang.” You spoke through your teeth before turning your back on him and walking out, never looking back.
Hyunjin held his blushing cheek and winced before picking up the gift that you had gotten for him. It was in a small velvet box with a note stuck inside of it. Opening the box revealed a silver heart-shaped locket that held a picture that was taken during their very first date. He gulped and closed the locket back up before turning his attention to the note. It wasn’t a big note that was in there. In fact, it was really small, only being able to hold the words ‘Thank you for showing me that I’m capable of being loved! I’ll always love you Jinnie!’ and Hyunjin’s teardrop right next to it.
a/n: ummm… sorry guys i’m a little iffy on this one LOL. as you can see… i’m not the type to write angst i’m not very good at it HAHA. anywaysss i think this chapter made it more clear as to what hyunjin thinks y/n did, but i didn’t wanna spoil his EXACT thought processing yet! i’m sure most of you guys are smart enough to figure it out tho lololol
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TAGLIST (OPEN)! @jeonginplsholdmyhand @jeonginsgirl @mlrroh @mafiulaputaama @seungzsmin @hannie-bees @skz1lov @porang-poranglinos @sillyhal @mitchii @nessas-archive @soulphoenix1618
if your blog was italicized, it means i wasn’t able to tag you :’(
#when tulips kiss#stray kids#skz#stray kids smau#stray kids social media au#hyunjin smau#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin#han jisung#skz han#jeongin#skz i.n#seungmin#bang chan#lee know#skz minho#lee felix#skz felix#changbin
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My Durge's stats pre-tadpoles are absolutely insane so I've been thinking what it'd look like if Orin failed to lobotomize him... Like the fight with him a Tav would have to win?
It'd be a bitch but there'd be fun options to make it easier and winnable
Him and Gortash would be working together still but what'd complicate things would be that Bhaal would've grown impatient and reduce Durge to a mess that would've dragged hinself in his temple and stay there. When Tav talks to Gortash, Gort has a massive fresh scar over his neck where Durge nearly killed him last time they were together. Gortash sends Tav to the temple but he fully expects/hopes they would die and that that could bring Durge back to his own mind.
If Orin would still be alive? Tav could make a deal with her that she'd help them find the temple, where she'd eventually need help in the combat with Durge, but if Tav would've helped her, that'd initiate a fight with the entire temple and with Orin, who'd be furious that you intervened.
Then, fight with Durge would be a bitch to win, but there would be some ways to get around and make it easier. Most of all would be useful a Persuasion or Deception proficency, and also going around Baldur's Gate and finding information about him - what would be Tav's best option would be to provoke Durge to a degree that he loses his already fragile cool and Bhaal forces a Slayer form on him - that way he loses his spellcasting abilities and also the double attack he gets from his fighter levels, and his paralysis weapons!
Options for that would get him to lose his shit would be
- [Deception] Gortash has sold you out, you mad dog. You've grown too unpredictable after what happened, we're here to put you down.
Has Advantage if Tav found notes between them or used Detect thought when talking to Gortash and asking him about his injury. He lies to Tav's face but thinks about how Durge mauled him last time they fucked and Gortash had to fight him off of him
- [Persuasion] Look at what you've became; Chosen of Bhaal, yet fighting His gifts? Your own Kin died for what you're rejecting so.
Only available if the above mentioned Orin thing happens. Durge stares at her corpse for quite a while, then proceeds to sort of... Give up. Accepts the Slayer and surrenders himself fully to his Father.
- [Persuasion] [Unholy Assassin] You think you know better than your own god, Chosen? You, who has failed him so in every way?
He starts to yell at Tav that he didn't fail, then as if something hit him, clutches his head and starts begging Father for forgiveness (reciting some parts of Prayer of Forgiveness). While he prays, he cuts himself, the blood drips down his arms and draws itself into the circle of Summoning for the Slayer.
When Tav wins, Durge lays there dying for just a bit longer, stares into nothing and clutching at his wounds and begging Father to forgive him because "im not done yet, Father, please, I can do better, plea-!" And then his eyes roll up suddenly and he dies in a moment, when Bhaal chooses so. His body falls apart and leaves behind only the Stillmaker, his Netherstone, and a half-writen letter that's like Prayer of Forgiveness, but adressed to Gortash and one Durge never got to finish.
The idea is very rough but essentially I love the thought that Bhaal is the one who fucks it all up because he can't be patient for two minutes, and Gortash is still delusional enough for him to hope Durge can go back to normal. If you win and kill Durge, Gortash will be upset and surprised, but will kind of shut off the grief in the moment to focus on dominating the brain. If you would've lost, the canon ending would be that Durge pulls through with the stones, him and Gortash get the Brain under control, and then Durge almost immediately slaughters both of them, leaving Toril to the Brain's mercy.
Another bonus option in the dialogue would be to tell him that you killed Gortash, but if you lied or didn't have Gortash's head to prove it, he would just laugh at you. That option wouldnt be a good idea in any way, because if you wouldn't pass the deception check (DC20) or wouldn't have the head, the laugh would clear his mind enough for him to focus on the fight (not as a Slayer) and if he WOULD believe you, he'd get so angry that he would start a fight with an extra feature that would be an absolute bitch to deal with.
#oc strike#the dark urge#durgetash#enver gortash#bg3#durge#baldur's gate 3#durge boss fight#strike lore#orin the red
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Back to back angst request- I won't be too specific on all of them because I want you to have some freedom but anyhow, fem! Simon shuts down emotionally after a particularly traumatic mission and her girlfriend struggles to break through her silence and help her open up
Simon hasn't spoken in five days.
When she returned home from her latest deployment, you'd known in an instant that this one had been worse than the others. She'd held a far-off gaze, breaking it just long enough to reach for you with a trembling hand. She'd stepped back when you'd tried to hug her, only allowing you to hold her hand.
That'd been almost a week ago. And not much has changed. In fact, if you were to really think about it, much of it has gotten worse.
So much so that when Simon retires to the guest bedroom (a very common occurrence now), you step outside and call Captain Price.
"I just don't know what to do," you tell him, trying to keep your voice down and level to hopefully not give away the fact that you've been crying. "I don't know how to help. She won't speak, won't sleep in the same bed, won't even look at me half the time. She's just completely shut down."
Price can't tell you specifics about the mission they just returned from, but confirms your notion that it had been incredibly traumatic for Simon in particular.
"I don't want to go into detail," he says. "That's for her to do when she's ready. And she will be ready, eventually. But it's probably going to take a lot longer than you're used to. Just... be patient, yeah? You bein' there is helping more than you think."
The conversation ends, and you return inside, immediately running into a wall of muscle.
"Shit, I'm sorry Simon," you say, "I thought you were in the spare room."
You look up at her, and for the first time since returning home, she gazes back at you. Then, she tilts her head. You don't need words to know what she's asking.
Who were you talking to? And why?
"I called Price," you say, and her expression remains the same.
You try to contain yourself, try to tiptoe around the reason you'd called her superior in the middle of the afternoon.
The restraint doesn't last long.
You end up explaining (perhaps over-explaining) how helpless you feel. How badly you want to help, but how you also don't want to push too much. How you want to be there for her, but don't know how. How you want to do something - anything - but you don't want to risk making things worse.
"I just..." you say, sighing as you scrub your hands along your face, "You're always there for me. You always know how to help, you always know just what to say or what to do. I want to be that for you too. I want you to feel safe here."
Then, in a much softer tone:
"I don't want you to have to go through this by yourself."
When you look back at her, Simon is still holding your gaze. Her expression still hasn't moved, and her slightly tilted head would be endearing if not for the circumstances.
She doesn't speak. Not that you'd expected her to.
No, instead - for the first time since she'd returned home five days ago - she hugs you.
It's crushing, the way she pulls you in; like she's afraid you'll slip through her arms and down through the floor if she's not careful. Her grip doesn't falter, and you lose track of how long the two of you stay like this, wrapped up in each other. You suppose it doesn't matter.
It's in this moment that you know Price was right. Eventually, she'll open up again. She may never tell you what happened, and that's okay. But for now, getting to hold her in your arms is more than enough.
#ghost scribbles#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#fem simon#fem reader
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