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angelsstranger · 21 hours

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not to bitch and moan but today i (he/him tme transsexual dyke) remember my transmasc roommate of days past and the time he saw me wearing a skirt and said “if i dressed like that I would want to kill myself”

always sort of insinuating that a “real” trans person couldn’t be gender nonconforming..

and eventually of course devolving into the “trans women actually have more privilege than me somehow and i feel threatened by them” which turned into “in the future i dont want to live with AMABs again” yes that second one is a direct quote there was so much more to the convo it ended our friendship quite abruptly and messily.

but my point being transmascs using their own dysphoria and their bigotry they inherited from their family as a weapon against trans women is soo much more common than you think it is. this person was supposedly a leftist and was friends with/trying to date many trans women at the time. it unsettled me how he would imply he found these women untrustworthy at the time but also he approached specifically trans women again and again looking for their patience nurturing and support even asking them for money and favors. before again pivoting and returning to the i think shes a bit TOO into me and its creeping me out.

my takeaway was basically it is your responsibility to tell trans women if they are seeing or hanging out with someone who says terfy shit behind their back. protect your community to make sure nobody has to experience that type of violence (to be clear the violence im referring to here is: someone trans or cis who wants to date/sleep with trans women but continues to imply trans women are dangerous or untrustworthy, eventually discarding each woman they bring into their life for vague reasons which all stem back to transmisogyny)

i was so distracted by how every time i tried to discuss with HIM the harm he caused he would break down cryinf about how fragile he is and all the trauma in his life and i was hesitant to let my friends know the transphobic things he said about them because i thought it would hurt them a lot (ignorant on my behalf. once i finally told my friends i realized i should have warned EVERYONE the very first time i saw this behavior) i didn’t want to seem like i was shit talking him or being rude to the women he was seeing but by the end of our friendship that was one of my greatest regrets. I personally try to honor this mistake by fucking never letting something like this slide ever again and being a reliable friend to the trans women in my life by telling them honestly if i don’t trust someone i see them associating with. that type of passivity in our communities is something that also puts trans women at risk.

since coming back to tumblr ive seen a lot of transmascs harrasing trans women here and the sense of entitlement and the need to frame trans women as a threat to your individual comfort and safety is incredibly harmful and selfish. it reminds me of that shit i watched going down two years ago with my room mate and i really don’t like seeing terf ideology spread by other trans people. check yourself and imo leave trans women the fuck alone if you are still unlearning that shit. stop inviting trans women on dates and hangouts if behind their backs youre insinuating they are untrustworthy or violent in some way. that is so evil ok send post

#cw mention of suicidal ideation #transmisogyny tw #im just really sad and dissapointed and scared to see these behaviors be accepted #save trans women from wasting their time on assholes like this just tell her if you see shes dating someone who said some bullshit™️

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vermilionsun · 1 day

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If you are still open for requests..how about Ais and Kuras (or pick which one) with a child/children?

Of course!! Don’t hesitate to send in more if ya want <3

Ais

Father figure of the year

✩ Pretty chill in general

He's the type of dad who will let you have a good time but also make sure you're staying safe.

✩ Always there to lend an ear or offer advice… or constructive criticism—

You can always count on him to give you straightforward and honest advice, even if it's not what you want to hear. Even though he may not always agree with your choices, you know that his intentions are always good and that he genuinely cares about your well-being. Ais may not show his emotions openly, but his love and support for his child would be unwavering.

✩ Seems to know exactly what to say in any situation.

Whether you need help with a problem or just want someone to talk to, he is always there for you (with judgment /j)

✩ Don't even bother to lie to him.

He can see right through any facade and will always know when you're not being completely honest. His ability to detect deception is uncanny, but it also makes him a trustworthy confidant. Besides, what even did you do that made you think the consequences would be that bad? (Or even exist?) Partying? Smoking? Drinking? Drugs? Sex?

✩ “Lame. When I was your age I was way worse—”

✩ CRAZY parent lore.

And he mentions it so casually every time. Like, he's seen (and done) it all before. Nothing seems to faze him in the slightest.

✩ He's the kind of guy who would drop everything to help his kid, no questions asked.

✩ On the other hand, if we're talking about babies…

He might be a bit (completely) clueless when it comes to diaper changing, feeding schedules, or soothing a crying infant. However, his willingness to learn and his dedication to being the best parent he can be are admirable qualities.

✩ He's the type of person who will spend hours researching the best parenting techniques and tips.

✩ He gets the hang of it pretty quick.

✩ He is incredibly patient to the point where it becomes a bit scary.

✩ COMMITTED.

From reading bedtime stories to playing endless games of peek-a-boo, a cheerleader, a rock, a shoulder to cry on—he's all in when it comes to being a parent.

✩ GIRL DAD

✩ If anyone dares to think about touching his child, they'll never see the light of day again.

Kuras

24/7 confusion

✞ This begs the question of whether the child would be half-angel.

Let's assume so, because it becomes ten times funnier.

✞ Absolutely b e w i l d e r e d in the beginning.

✞ “...Why does it cry so much?”

Another question that often arises is, "Is there something wrong with it that I can't see?" He's just… confused. He doesn't really understand babies. Kuras is used to living a fast-paced, independent lifestyle, so the idea of being responsible for a helpless infant is overwhelming for him.

✞ Incredibly good once he figures it out.

Despite his initial confusion and overwhelming feelings, Kuras quickly adapts. Kuras is always on call to help with midnight feedings and diaper changes, making sure the baby is well taken care of around the clock.

✞ “Uh… honey? The baby is floating.”

Cue Kuras calmly walking into the room and safely guiding the baby back to the ground with a knowing smile. It becomes a common occurrence in the household.

✞ Eventually takes on the role of mentor, teaching the child how to control their powers and use them for good.

✞ Slightly strict

Believes in setting boundaries and enforcing rules to ensure the well-being and safety of his children. He considers discipline an important aspect of parenthood, as it helps instill good behavior and values in his kids. He may come off as harsh at times, but it all stems from a place of love and protection. Kuras wants his children to grow up knowing right from wrong and understanding the importance of structure in their lives.

✞ Comfort

He listens without judgment, allowing his children to express themselves freely. Kuras encourages open communication and fosters a strong bond based on trust and respect.

✞ Don't even bother to lie to him part 2

If you try to sneak out, he'll be waiting for you at the door, arms crossed and a stern expression on his face. You can try to pull one over on him, but chances are, he'll see right through it. It's better to just be honest and upfront with him, because he always seems to know what's going on.

✞ Consequences

Although Kuras seems disappointed at times, he knows that it is all part of the process of growing up and learning from mistakes. He understands that his children need to make their own choices and face the consequences of those choices in order to become independent and responsible adults. Kuras tries to offer guidance and support, but ultimately allows his children to take ownership of their decisions and experiences.

✞ Always puts his children's needs above his own.

✞ Being the doctor he is and a parent can be a challenging juggling act. Kuras, however, manages to balance both roles with grace and dedication.

✞ T r i p l e t s

✞ If anyone dares to harm their child, he will stop at nothing to protect them. Fuck repentance and forgiveness; Kuras will seek justice with a vengeance that knows no bounds.

#verewrites #ais #kuras #red spring studios #headcannons #ts #touchstarved #touchstarved game #touchstarved headcanons #touchstarved kuras #kuras touchstarved #ais touchstarved

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kouyou-arc-when · 2 days

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Hey, this is a great ask and I am so sorry for not replying earlier. I am responding like this because I actually broke the character limit since I'm dumb -_- I've written a lot of posts about this on reddit, and many people came up to me and asked me something similar. Your line of thinking is good. Regarding Dazai:

So, the thing is - to properly diagnose any personality disorder, you need to talk to that very person to understand their inner mechanisms. There are certain behavioral traits we can observe from the outside and make some guesses based on that: for example, Dazai's broadly dented empathy and why that's often found in people with ASPD.

However, for many other personality disorders it is very difficult to conclude much without the person saying ~I feel x because of y. I do c because of b.

Why? Personality disorders are internal structures that cause a person's behavior to be challenging to either them or others. To understand these mental processes is much more demanding than seeing a person just feels sad or anxious, to explain it simplistic terms.

The key behind many disorders is to know WHY a person is doing what they're doing. This one thing changes whether a person has x,z,y,t,n or whatever condition.

An example: BPD and CPTSD are often mistaken for one another. Same as with BPD, CPTSD, Autism and ADD in women, but BPD and CPTSD tend to have the largest "overgap", you can even have both at the same time. That's because many of the outside observable symptoms are the same.

An example: unstable relationships are a symptom of ALL of the above, but BPD is sort of...an outdated PD according to many specialists due to the fact that it was used as an "everything" disorder, where people with socially unconventional emotions were dumped. That's why you'll find two people with BPD that are almost nothing alike.

However, even if we hold to classic diagnostic criteria, let me show how the same symptom can be a product of entirely different circumstances.

For example: Someone with BPD will have unstable relationships due to an extreme fear of abandonment. Someone with Autism may have unstable relationships due to differences in communication styles Someone with ADHD will have unstable relationships due to various circumstances: emotional regulation, executive functioning etc.

So really, the outward result may be the same, but the cause is different.

However, now, typically the main reason someone could have BPD is either due to extreme splitting, favorite person behavior, numbness and/or abandonment issues.

Dazai 100% has "favorite person" syndrome going on with Oda - the way he idealized Odasaku and then devalues everyone around him in comparison is pretty clinical - doesn't mean their relationship isn't lovely, but it's certainly something a therapist would take note of.

It's no shocker Dazai has unstable relationships, but we don't 100% know why he does what he does.

That's the whole thing Asagiri said - the character is meant to be like a donnut, where you don't really know what's in the middle - so it's extremely difficult to say which PD fits him for sure, probably even more difficult than the average neurodivergent character. In my opinion, several interpretations of Dazai are simultaneously valid due to the fact that you could assume multiple personal struggles within him, and come to a reasonable conclusion.

Does Dazai have abandonment issues? He says he always loses everything he wants, is EXTREMELY bitter over Ango, and definitely shows some levels of "splitting", especially in how he treats Oda vs Ango, Akutagawa vs Atsushi etc etc.

I'm pretty confident he has PTSD, and everything that comes with that. He certainly has a personality disorder too, due to the fact that a lot of his difficulties stem from his personality, and not just brain chemistry.

Kunikida says that most of his emotions "seem" like an act, which raises a lot of questions to what is even happening on the inside. Asagiri said Dazai is really only himself in front of people like Oda and Fyodor. That version of Dazai is...much less cheerful than with everyone else.

I don't personally think Dazai is autistic since he has a good hang on social cues and overall communication. Mamoru Miyano said PM Dazai was still learning to communicate with others back in his Dark Era days, but it wasn't that he couldn't do it - he was just not interested in learning it.

I feel like Asagiri gave Dazai this "unrealistic" trait of being primarily isolated because he's extraordinarily intelligent (which is not how geniuses tend to feel irl, most of the time) but I always feel like there is something more to it.

There is definitely some /disconnect/ between Dazai and "normal" people, where he doesn't fully seem to understand certain things, he falls short there. As someone who has CPTSD diagnosed, I get the impression he maybe has a similar thing going on as many of us: A extremely traumatic experience disrupted a lot of normal emotional and cognitive processes, and now he's both extremely hypervigilant and unable to snap out of that "shellshocked" state. He needs to "perform" conventionality, and being a normal person.

In one wan chapter, he "made a joke" that you start doing one bad thing after another, and suddenly you feel nothing at all. That's the trademark numbness in both CPTSD and BPD.

There was this TDIPUD moment where he talks about how a personality is just a bunch of unstable premises that survive to uphold the basic instincts of the human mind - but how it's easily destroyed for that reason. This is a scene where he tortures the guy, and I was like "wow, I really get it". Severe trauma can just destroy the very structure of your personality, because extreme pain just numbs everything within you. "You" as a person can't survive.

BPD is also related to an unstable sense of self - which could be connected to the former paragraph. Sometimes lowered empathy is also a byproduct of BPD, in fact, the thing is that both BPD and CPTSD come from trauma 99% of the time. They're shockingly similar disorders.

So, does Dazai have BPD? No idea. He could also be schizoid to some extent, which is funny, because Franz Kafka had this disorder, the author that inspired Asagiri's nickname.

For now, I'd just leave at he has CPTSD for sure

Most of these disorders are very broad descriptors, and it's difficult to label most humans in a way that will genuinely encompass what their experiences are. Most of the time, these diagnostics are used to match a person with the best treatment available, or to explain what they're going through - so I don't think there is a perfect diagnosis for Dazai aside from PTSD, but he's definitely extremely neurodivergent. Thanks for reading <3

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #dazai #ask

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fum1ku · 3 hours

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TOXIC TRAITS - HQ BOYS

ft. kiyoomi sakusa, koushi sugawara, atsumu miya, daichi sawamura, tobio kageyama, kei tsukishima

tw: toxic relationship, arguments, cursing

pt. 2 where everyone kisses and makes out makes up, anyone?

KIYOOMI: silent treatment. perhaps kiyoomi’s fight or flight reaction stemmed from his inability to communicate well. but, that didn’t feel completely true. he could be blunt; honestly saying what was on his mind to anyone. but, when it came to you, he was just.. silent. you’d beg and plead, scream or shout, say anything and you wouldn’t hear a word back from him. it hurt. it tore deep into your chest; finding itself a resting spot in the pit of your stomach. would someone who truly loved you really do this to you?

KOUSHI: love bombing. sugawara really didn’t mean to. he didn’t know how much he’d ever smothered you until he heard someone actually say something about it. at first you thought it was just sweet, random acts of kindness from him. his love language shining through, at most. the expensive gifts, the rush of compliments he’d give you, the aching feeling of his arms wrapping around you for the 5th time in that moment. but, no—it was more than that. all of it was meaningless; hallow. not a second thought put into it besides his desperation to win you. to have you. he was so desperate to not let you slip away that he forgot what he had ever felt for you in the first place: love.

ATSUMU: toxic jealousy. atsumu miya had been popular with girls since high school. and of course it didn’t stop when he joined the msby jackals. if anything, he had been more popular with women now than he had been in his entire life. but, he always said it didn’t matter. he always told you “you’re all i need. no stupid fan girls can get in the way of that. i have you, and that’s all i want.” all he wants. but that all fades away after your first actual fight. who even remembers what it was about? it didn’t matter anymore. sitting in the bleachers watching your boyfriend prepare for his next match, you could see as a swarm of overzealous girls came running towards him. instead of his usual wave of acknowledgment and turning away to head for a more private area, he dove deep into the attention. he soaked up each compliment from every girl in the crowd with a sly smirk on his face. he accepted every picture he was asked to take; putting his hand around her waist, letting her kiss his cheek or feel his stupid muscles through his jersey. he did all of this knowing you had been there waiting; watching. he did all of this, not feeling a single bit of remorse up till the second he watched as hot tears streamed down your face and you ran out of the arena. shit. he had really fucked up.

DAICHI: overprotective. it was sweet daichi cared. really, it was. he’d place a firm hand around your waist when walking past guys in the street because he knew it made you feel safe. he’d have you sit a few rows back in the bleachers when watching his games “just in case”. and he’d always make sure you made it home safe after work or school. but, it soon turned into more than just those silly protective things. sometimes he made you feel like you couldn’t think or plainly act for yourself. everything had a risk to him; a risk that wasn’t worth taking with you. you tried to reason with him, but it never made sense to him in the way it did to you. he just wanted you to be safe after all, right?

TOBIO: anger issues. tobio didn’t mean to snap. it just.. well, happened. he loved you—he loves you— so much. he never wanted to see you cry; he never wanted to be the reason why you cried. but it had been a long day. practice had left him dead and dry. it had been back-to-back interviews, multiple photoshoots, and so many fucking autographs. today had taken everything out of him. as shallow as all of those things sounded, it was.. overstimulating, to say the least. kageyama couldn’t think of a better word to describe it; to name exactly what he felt. but when he came home and saw you in the kitchen; dishes stacked high, the pot on the stove bubbling over, the heat that overtook every single room in the apartment—he snapped. he lost it. you had opened your mouth to greet him and before you were able to say anything, all of the frustrations from today started pouring out of his mouth.

“fucking damnit. what the hell are you even doing, y/n? it’s a thousand fucking degrees in here with the stove on and it’s boiling over. fucking shit. i’m exhausted and i can’t even come home to have some damn peace in my own fucking house. what the actual hell?” his words burned through his throat, leaving a bitter taste on the tip of his tongue.

you said nothing as you turned the stove off, and walked straight past him.

“y/n—” he stuttered. “i’m—fuck— i’m so sorry. today was rough and i just..”

he looked down at you to see your body shaking; tears streaming down your face. he fucked up.

KEI: lack of communication. that best summed up kei’s entire life. including his life with you. one small argument and he was gone. vanished. nowhere to be found. not until you’d find him in some tucked away corner of your shared apartment. or outside the building during the evening. you could try your best to say something to him—anything—but it didn’t matter. he’d only talk to you on his own terms. but, what he was thinking? what he was feeling? that was a mystery to you. you could pour your heart out to him about how lost you felt; how much of a mystery his emotions were to you even after being together for so long. didn’t matter. he couldn’t piece together a string of words to give back to you. and that was going to be his downfall.

⁂ taglist: none at the moment ! let me know if you wanted to be tagged for anything<3 my requests are always open too !!

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honeybcj · 1 month

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okay hear me out…bartylus ballet dancers…just an idea…

#han talks #bartylus #like imagine #classically trained from a young age #getting bored with the company because they want to radicalize the company #slowly forming their own company to teach the intricacies and more contemporary movement #for queer bodies!!!!#and reg actually trains on pointe which is VERY HARD because it’s not all that common #opening the doors for role reversal in performance…#opening the space for queer identities to be portrayed on the stage…#critically analyzing the history of dance as a whole #specifically the nuances of ballet culture #and the history of dance practice across the world #and a deeper exploration into music and the influence it has on movement #and the social and political movements that establish different movement eras #i want an excuse to further analyze the foundations in which the disco era came to be #because the media portrayal of the disco era Isn’t Right #you’re literally forgetting how it originated and the bodies that built it from the ground up!!!!#analyze the fashion choices and drug culture and sounds of the era #think about the communities this stemmed from!!!#because no babe disco never died argue with a wall for me #can you tell i wrote a whole paper discussing the formation of the disco era and the inaccurate portrayals in media #this is my speciality #academic han to the scene #blog thesis

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mewtwo24 · 5 months

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I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.

Turns out that was a perilous mistake.

Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me

What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:

LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"

The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--

How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls

And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:

Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.

Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)

Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:

Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me

Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:

I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.

And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...

I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.

How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.

Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.

#svsss #bingqiu #moshang #i swear to god this series is just 'gay man who doesn't know shit inflicting his delusional reality on everyone else and inciting chaos'#and literally it's slapstick levels of hilarious every single time; mxtx never change #also i fully agree that we did not get NEARLY enough mobei-jun and sqh/airplane content #the amount of mental illness to mental illness communication going on there was astonishing #mobei-jun being afraid of his uncle and bringing sqh because that's the only person he trusts fully (WAILING NOISES)#sqh having a tantrum but running away because for the first time he was honest about his needs + his dissatisfaction with catering to other #how that reflects his narrative compulsions and how he felt forced to warp more creative story paths for the sake of survival as a writer #how sqq's restoration of much of his original intent--as well as mobei-jun's acceptance of his needs--helps airplane begin to heal #how his happiness begins; how just like sqq he wanders in such confusion and denial before he's forced to realize what truly matters to him #SHREK VOICE: STORIES HAVE. L A Y E R S #it feels like modern day shakespeare and when i say that i don't mean it in a hollow elevating sense i mean it more like #mxtx just hits that perfect balance of poignance but also hilarious concentric circles of botched communication and brainworms #okay but real talk for a minute? .........;-;#the way lbh constantly struggles with such a crushing feeling that he'll be abandoned over any little mishap/thing/problem #really hit me where it hurts??? if only because its so clearly an anxiety that stems from original goods' upbringing #the way it becomes even more heartrending when you think back to all the sect leaders clamoring that he should have been killed as an infan #that he should have been aborted as a fetus--insisting right in front of him that his birth was a mistake and a disgrace #over having demon blood in his veins. like my god that scene is so viscerally upsetting i struggle to read it #the way its so easy to see the demons as a manifestation of otherness in precipitated form #how both sqq and sqh are influenced by human rhetoric without evening meaning to--assuming the worst against their better judgment #how both sqq and sqh both struggle with their own otherness in different ways and only find solace when they begin to accept who they are #how their lovers (lbh and mbj respectively) both are willing to navigate those confusing waters with them #how both demons love them as they are--accept them as they are despite how difficult forgiveness of perceived betrayal is for them #ty mxtx for changing my brain chemistry #as i get older i have such a fondness for the messiness of thematic queer self-discovery and growth into self-acceptance #that and how youth can so easily be defined by perfectionistic self-harm and the violence of repression

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flecks-of-stardust · 5 months

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wholeheartedly and with as much gentleness as possible, i truly think there needs to be more discussion about downpour in the community as it is now. for a variety of reasons.

#not main tagging this right now but #some tag babbling. like #some of yall are unnecessarily cruel about downpour. seriously.#you don't have to like it but you can also stand not to tear down someone's work like this #if every word out of your mouth is just about how much you hate downpour. why are you still here?#and i mean that genuinely. it's unpleasant for you and for everyone else. and i say this as someone who still prefers vanilla's lore #at the same time i think it's a real issue where some people take downpour as gospel and assume things about other people's creative choice #even though downpour is a DLC and it's hard to make certain claims about canonicity because of that #it has been publicly acknowledged as being an official AU. multiple times. by the MSC devs themselves #downpour is a fan made passion project that was worked on for years and years before it got DLC status #it was never meant to be scrutinized in the way it is now. i think it's more appropriate to regard it as like #a really popular fanfic most of the fanbase has read #i just feel like. a lot of the community conflicts i've seen stem from downpour's messy existence as a DLC that was originally a mod #and i think it's valuable to have community discussions about that. but also this is tumblr. so. i'm probably asking for too much

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deepseacityunderground · 6 days

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i think that veganism as a political movement has a lot of interesting things to say about how food agriculture has been shaped by consumerism and the way its alienated the average westerner from food production especially around meat. its a cruel cruel industry for everyone involved and it sucks.

unfortunately it also overwelmingly falls victim (like a lot of other socially progressive political movements lol) to a complete inability or perhaps a refusal to engage with rural indigenous communities especially in the global south. which is ironic because (like a lot of other socially progressive political movements) much of their theoretical framework for reforming society Depends on rural indigenous communities especially in the global south ^.^

#this isnt just about how a lot of rural indigenous communities cannot survive on a vegan diet altho that is part of it #but its also more importantly about how a lot of the global north cannot survive on a vegan diet without exploitation!#and a lot of my issues with veganism as a political movement stems from the fact that ive never heard of a vegan solution to #food production that isnt reliant on restructuring imperialist foodways but just Making them Vegan Now #meanwhile you look at historic examples of widespread adoption of veganism and vegetarianism #and theyre almost all in subtropical fertile regions with a huge diversity of native grains and fruit and veg #i guess the uk is a good example of it because the uk already imports so much fruit and vegetables #the uk as an island in a temperate/subarctic position cannot grow the amount of food required to feed their population on a vegan diet #this goes for a lot of europe and north america in fact. so if the whole world was just gonna switch to a vegan lifestyle #the global north would largely be fed by the global south (as it is now)#perpetuating systems of oppression of both land and people in the global south. not much would change on that end #this is largely because a lot of vegans are these super alienated super priviliged white settlers from the suburbs #and they project their alienation onto others #anyway i think about the politics of veganism a lot for someone who will never be vegan (due to geographical and ethical concerns)#probably because until recently my family and others in my area have relied on hunting for food

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definitelynotnia · 4 months

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normalise saying "I don't have enough information on this topic to have an opinion on it"

and then staying out of it completely rather than going along with wtv opinion u imprinted from three random posts/reels/tweets and having weird misinformed debates with full confidence

#like bro it's ok to not have an opinion on something if you don't know just say i don't know and move on #there's too many fucked up things going on in the world it's perfectly natural to not have proper information on a topic of debate #just remove yourself from said debate theres no needto go marching in with limited information and spreading even more misinformation #i see so many people around my age posting random political stuff be it religious or about lgbtq or women even and they haven't read #a single article about any of these topics ever #their only source is sketchy social media posts or “dark jokes” about a certain community making them think it's cool to shit on them #or random “sigma” edits of things and suddenly the most random stuff becomes everyone's favourite mainstream political affiliation #like have you read a single policy pertaining to this government or do you have a single reason for violently hating a certain community #i understand that some people are genuinely interested in these topics and that is absolutely wonderful it's great that young people have #opinions and commentary on world issues but only when this stems from an area of genuine interest and when at least some effort to be #factual is made not when it's only done because everyone else is doing it and they have some weird sort of fomo at work or they just think #it's funny or wtv without understanding the implications of their words and actions #no one is forcing you to involve yourself in every social issue but the moment you choose to make commentary on a social issue you must take #the responsibility of educating yourself as best you can before you open your mouth

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aptericia · 7 months

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maybe this a strange thing to get hung up on but like. I can’t be the only one who subconsciously texts my friends a bit more professionally after writing a long email to my professor. Or whose internal monologue temporarily changes to sound like that YouTuber I just binged for 3 hours. Or who acts a little more excited and dramatic after watching an action movie. It’s normal to pick up patterns from other people and situations, right?? Why do my friends act so surpised when I start acting more like them, or tell me I “shouldn’t change who I am”? Like buddy. In NO social interaction am I presenting the Real Me. And besides that, you’re an important part of my life—why would it be so weird to be influenced by you? I don’t like being thought of as Weird or Not Genuine just because I do something differently from your previous expectations of me.

#personal #tbh most of the comments I get abt this are observations (like “when did you pick up that phrase??”) not judgy #but what really got me into this line of thinking was a comment from a friend about a year-ish ago?#she told me “you act so weird when you’re around [mutual friend of ours]. It’s like your whole personality changes.”#and I said “haha yeah well you two are pretty different from each other and I guess I tend to subconsciously act like the people I’m around #and she was like “yeah ik what you mean. I try not to do that”#which now that I write it… she technically said nothing about me #anyway I just. idk. so much of my comfort in social situations stems from being able to act like a part of the community #which I assumed meant act similar to them. but after that exchange it felt like it was more about what they already expected of me #which is absolutely terrifying because I can’t read their minds and CANNOT KNOW what expectations they have #I should probably get over that convo from a year ago like ik most people don’t think that way #but it really worsened my anxiety #anyway thx for reading now please forget I ever posted this #ramblings

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livvyofthelake · 5 months

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every time one of those movies comes out that’s like. a good movie for people who don’t watch good movies. think knives out, think saltburn, think once upon a time in hollywood. you know what i mean. anyway every time one of these movies comes out and we all have to sit here and watch like. young fandom people get their grubby disgusting little hands on that movie and turn it over and over and they thirst over the hot male lead and they ship things and they write fanfiction all while insisting the whole time that it’s like. the savior of cinema. and we are all like ok are you 17 years old have you ever seen an actual good movie before?? and then they get mad at us for that because they’re actually 18-20 and watched one indie film five months ago starring some dude they want to fuck, so of course they know all about Real Cinema. and there’s nothing to be done we just have to sit here and ride it out. this is the circle of life i’m starting to think.

#ok i think everyone is allowed to be introduced to the concept of good movies at age 18 without judgement #but the way some of these people do it. well i’m too old for this. (i’m 22)#like ok i was really annoying about dead poets society when i was 18 and that’s embarrassing now and i’m in no place to judge #but. i mean i didn’t want to fuck robert sean leonard. i didn’t act like there were no other good movies ever except this one #i don’t want to talk about what i did instead but i didn’t act like That ok.#and really i think it all stems from the same place all fandom stems from but for the specific community of young people that want to feel #like they’re consuming media that’s like. tasteful and artsy as opposed to commercial

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bom-bombon · 7 days

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i think i deserve like 1 million dollars from everyone in the US who were spewing racist shit during the 2016 elections

#bombon's yapping #does it count as vent? probably not #but in case #vent #this very much includes US Latinos because like the amount of shit i internalized and what my community internalized was fucking vile man #yall had us thinking that we were genuinely bad people-- monsters even-- just for existing #sorry my finals was about us immigration policies especially in regard to Latin American migrants over the years #and it brought up unresolved trauma #man i finished my finals and all but ooohh yall i got worked up #i wrote a lot more than was required which is good but it mainly stems from the fact that i know too much about this topic.#no story time i hit the limit #thats how i know tumblr is really trying to get me to stfu #anyway #gonna turn off reblog bc i dont want it by any chance to leave my target audience (like 1 person)#just me frustrated

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cruelsister-moved2 · 10 months

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that thread i rbed like ages ago about men's urge to disagree/object to/obstruct women for no reason has seriously reset my brain its so crazy but i think actually one of the rare things that actually might represent a way forward for how men engage with women. like there's always going to be the rightwing ardent misogynists who don't care that they're doing this but for all the men in the middle that do on some level want to be better it represents 1. fairly confronting evidence that your position in the patriarchy actually affects how you relate to women much more than you realise it does even if you think of yourself as self-aware and 2. a genuine example of something that makes us all suffer because the fact you niggle on every single issue like what flavour of ice cream to buy is unhealthy for relationships (of any kind) AND introduces unnecessary amount of background strain to your life for no real gain. maybe im being an idealist but i love the idea of a man experiencing a certain amount of horror upon recognition of this as a catalyst to other more meaningful recognitions and changes both in how he evaluates the competence of women but also in recognition of the subjectivity of he perceives things i.e i think one of the biggest barriers to confronting the housework gap is often that men don't SEE how much women are doing and also don't SEE things that need to be done, to the extent that ive seen men argue that the solution is just for women to not care about being surrounded by mess. anyway no conclusion but i cant stop thinking about that thread both super horrifyingand also kind of hopeful

#i absolutely think it applies to other forms of marginalisation as well #but can take different forms e.g a man assuming he will make better choices than his wife even about something really minor and stupid #vs an abled person assuming they have more insight on a disabled persons' experienes/condition #but i think its the same fundamental urge going on #but yeah like personally i find disagreeing with ppl really unpleasant when it builds up that its like you need to pick your battles for #when it matters. of course you can go to far and avoid conflict but like as a perfectionist autist i have to constantly address my tendency #to like. get annoyed about someone pouring milk wrong or something. like even when they are actually wrong. sometimes it doesnt matter.#and i think the fact that this is how you treat people you LOVE and in many cases would probably say you respect #should make it liek especially wounding to realise #i also dont think women are immune to this behaviour as i said above and after all we pick up communication habits from the people we #communicate with. but i think it stems from patriarchy in pretty much all its iterations #and theres also an answering affect women can develop where you just shut down and learn to give in on every issue/devote your energy to #avoidit coming up in the first place #like you stop saying what flavour of ice cream you want at all. which i think is the end goal of this behaviour whether thats actually what #the person doing it desires or not thats what it seeks to achieve

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dragonomatopoeia · 9 months

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trying to look for linguistics papers on speech acts and play/ recreational speech and it's a little more challenging than i was anticipating. most study of speech acts focuses on performative utterances/ illocutionary and perlocutionary acts. which makes sense, considering the theory formed in opposition to the dominant positivist model. HOWEVER. i would like to see some analysis and acknowledgment of When People Just Say Shit

#i think there is sometimes a presumption of premeditation and intent in linguistics #or a sort of. so i think sometimes linguistics as a field gets insecure about being perceived as a soft science or an outsider to STEM #and with this Need to justify itself there's a habit of shrinking away from uncertainty #like surely if we just codify and apply numbers and categories to every form of communication then it will be taken more seriously #i mean i've def fallen into this. i had an emotional valence chart that rated commonly used words #but as i've gotten older i'm like hang on. is this a productive model for analyzing language use. like at all.

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alcorian · 1 year

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cannot express the pain and disappointment of going from tmnt (which has themes that are fairly left-wing) directly to transformers and being like ah. so this is the right wing propaganda show,

#alv posts #TO CLARIFY im mostly thinking like. aligned continuity #where optimus is the Great Hero protecting the Status Quo from the Deranged Revolutionary #and using force or violence to overthrow a fascist government is worse than the fascist government itself #aligned drives me crazyyyy ok #and on the other hand tmnt is about good people who must hide themselves or aspects of themselves because society doesnt accept them #finding community with other 'freaks' and outcasts #and like the 03 turtles engage in mutual aid w the local homeless population--they help each other #and even the human characters sometimes fit into the 'social pariah' category in some way #or just in some way challenge conservativism #casey is a male abuse victim #april is a woman in STEM #tmnt #transformers

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maaaxx · 1 year

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11 & 19 for the ask game ❤

ask game :)

11 has already been answered here

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19. "Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?":

Short answer:

From the time I could vaguely write I was writing "books" (or as much of a book a child that young can make)

I entered my first writing contest when I was 9 or 10 and I got 5th place in my school

A year later I started my first major wip that got me invested into writing as a hobby

A year after that I started another wip that most of my current wips are branches off of and also started posting bits and pieces on wattpad

When I was 14 I had my writing skills tested for early college admission and scored in the top 5 percent in my state (still very proud of this)

Entered and won a couple writing competitions besides that stopped writnig

Then a couple years later I started writing fanfiction

Currently pondering working towards actually publishing some books one day.

Long answer under the cut :)

I remember making "books" since I could write. Like I would staple paper together and I remember one specifically that had something to do with sea horses but i dont remember the plot.

My mom has boxes filled of these "books" with all of the words and even my name misspelled and poorly illustrated characters and stuff.

When I was in like 4th grade (9-10 years old) my teacher had an assignment to where we made up a story and applied whatever type of literary technique we were learning about that week to it. So like if we were learning about similes the assignment would be come up with 5 sentences that include similes that pertain to your story and include one or something like that. At the end of the year we were supposed to have 4-5 pages of this story. I think I finished with like 10-12 or something like that. She made me summarize it 💀

If I remember right I think that my story was about this set of twins where one was born with some type of super power that only the other twin knew about and the superpowered twin got kidnapped by some scientists that wanted to expirement on her and my story followed the other twin and this like 12 year old girl dedicating her teenagehood to finding the lost twin. I think I made it so the dad actually ended up hiring the kidnapper and the dad and kidnapper both got arrested. I want to find this again because I dont remember a lot about it.

That same year my teacher ended up having me enter a poetry contest and I think it was a tri-county thing. I didn;t like poetry (I still hate writing it, love reading it though) so I half assed it and I think I got within the top 5 (??) of my school. (just elementary school) so that was neat.

(This specific teacher was one of those really strict teachers that no one else liked but my little undiagnosed autistic self LOVED her because i always knew what to expect yk?? but is also the one who really got me into reading and writing and stuff and I dont think I'll ever not me extremely grateful for her)

The next year I started forming this one wip. Its definetly my longest and most elaborate and sentimental one because it opened so many different doors for me.

There was no plot but it pretty much followed this group of like 20 teenagers that had very different lives and were all really traumatized and during the "story" they're all like 15-18 trying to figure out how to move on from their childhoods and maintain healthy relationships with eachother and their individual support systems.

Some of them are neurodivergent and some of their stories are centered around that.

One of the characters name is Jack. Jack is bipolar and so is his mom and so because of his moms mental illnesses and stuff he was in and out of fostercare from like 5-13. Hes probably the 'main' character in this.

Hes also went deaf from a tmi from when he was like 9.

Then theres Allison who is autistic and she is your stereotypical 'gifted kid burnout' 'graduated at like 15' type of autistic. but this leads to a lot of issues with her and her main thing is kind of working through that.

Travis comes from a VERY religious (almost cultish) family and is develops schizophrenia at like 16 I think and he's also pansexual and his parents go through his phone and find some texts from his partner and kick him out so hes homeless and has to deal with that.

But like I said theres like 17 more of these characters and its very elaborate. It goes into the parents childhoods and deals with generational trauma and how mental illness can affect parenting.

The 'story' mostly follows Jack and Allison (theyre love interests) and everything is kind of through their pov and their relationships with the other characters and stuff.

But like 11 year old me started writing this out in composition books and between then and when I turned 15 ish and got a computer, I filled I think close to 30 composition books with this story.

But I started researching mental disorders and stuff for this story so I could make their stuff as realistic as possible and that kickstarted my spin on psychology, which led to me wanting to be a social worker which is my major. It also meant that I was really ahead in also my psyche classes. Im *technically* going into my 5th year of college and I started taking psyche classes my second year and I didnt start getting into stuff that I didn't know until the year that just ended so 11 year old me really knew what she was doing.

I remember making my mom buy me textbooks and those articles that are behind a paywall for birthdays and Christmas's

I'm getting off track

A year or two after that I started developing this other wip with kids with superpowers and there was a whole lot of worldbuilding and stuff to this one and its what got me into fantasy which is the main genre I write outside of fanfic. (my hecles wip is loosely based on this one)

(part of this one is on wattpad somewhere)

When I was 14 I took a test that determined whether or not I would be able to start college early and part of this test was writing skills. There was a fiction and a nonfiction portion and then they combined those two scores and averaged them out and my score was in the 95th percentile (top 5 percent) of everyone who takes the test (so on average like 17-19 year olds usually and then some outliers) so I see that as one of my biggest writing achievments.

(i scored shit on the math and reading comprehension portions though)

I stopped writing and stuff for like two years besides entering writing contests.

I've entered like 5 and won 2. One was tri-county and I got first place and the other one was a little bigger but it wasnt a state contest, I think it might have been regional but I got third place. I consider those both big accomplishments too.

And then when I was 17 I started writing fanfiction.

I think fanfiction is what actually got it in my head that maybe I could write an actual book one day. Like before I just saw it as like a hobby because I was scared of the commitment of writing a whole book but ive written almost 200,000 words of one of my fanfics and it wasn't that overwhelming and I think that usually a decent sized novel so why not give it a try?

Idk if that answered the question or if I got TOO off track but oh well :)

#you can tell when i start mildly bragging #im sorry im just proud of myself💀#I think I mentioned before that everytime I get really into writing its to cope with something.#so that like 11-15 era and then when I was 17 I had a lot going on and thats always when i started really getting back into it #i also consider getting involved in fandom (aside from just writing) something like a milestone to my writing timeline thing #because its the first time I had a community around it #and that I can talk to other people who are passionate about their wips and works and whatnot #and compare writing styles and stuff #i also really enjoy getting immediate feedback #also being able to read stuff by people who dont get paid for it and who dont have to worry about writing trends and stuff is really nice #i think its really neat how much of my life stems from writing #like idk how to explain how different my life would be if this wasnt my primary hobby.#me choosing my career directly stems from a story i made when i was 11 #writing is also how i taught myself empathy #because i mention a lot that im a really low empathy autistic #and id always have trouble not being cold with people because i cant force myself to feel bad for them #so id make like side stories of my characters going through things people in my life went through #and if base what i say and do for them on what would help my chatacter #which i based on reading psyche textbooks #that sounds really weird now that im typing it out but oh well #im not saying im good at relationships but id be a lot worse at them if i didnt start writing #i liked this ask thank you anon <3 #idk if i actually answered it though 💀#max thinks shes relevant #asks

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