#they’re both just so weird and they must have the weirdest fucking relationship
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i need to know what the berrynose-spiderleg dynamic is like SO bad. pov your mom who thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread (mouse?) gets a new boyfriend who doesn’t really like her that much and kind of doesn’t acknowledge your existence. but also he’s a warrior and you want your fellow warriors to like you so much that you’ve gotta prove yourself to him somehow, so you’re gonna be so cool in front of him and he’s gonna treat you like One Of The Guys. but also he’s weird about your mom and that’s your MOM who’s your BIGGEST FAN and i’m not gonna call you DAD, spiderleg, a) that’s weird and b) you’re just the stepdad, not even the dad that stepped up
#they’re both just so weird and they must have the weirdest fucking relationship#both hazeltail and mousewhisker are like yeah idk that’s spiderleg he’s whatever#and berrynose is locked in this eternal psychological war with Just Some Guy#bees speaks#anyway.#can u tell i’ve had a glass of wine
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Omg, your mom tried to set you up?!!!!! With butch women no less?!!! Im so jealous idk if that would happene with mine 😭 recently she was ljke "oooo😉" at me about my sisters bf having a brother my age. I actually wanted to just go crazy insane bjork gif in that moment. ☹️ how dare you have men liking headcanons (?) about me. Idk whwtt would happen if she found out i was a lesbian. Like she also told me about how excited she was for me to have babies. When i was 13. :|
Also i live in gender capitol like we get taught gender identity spectrum in school and all. So thats why im not sure about there being butch women (or girls i guess bc .. im still a girl hezjnsjs) where i am and i keep feeling bad about having radfem? beliefs like is everyone going to hate me or is that just how it seems online xhxjd or. I dont know if that makes sense
I wish i could just fit in and go along w it but it feels so wrong to me, ... nopee even if i think youre cute im not going to affirm that youre not actually a woman bc your hair is short and you dont wear makeup or dresses it feels so demeaning for both of us. But then am i just making a big deal of nothing ?
Anywaays. Sending love bc peace and love on planett earth. :)
lmao since ive been out for quite some time now, my mom has gone thru the stages of grief and she reached a point where she’s accepted im a lesbian (she would try to convince me to get into a lavender marriage regardless for the sake of image but im not willing neither is my friend she keeps trying to set me up in a lavender marriage with) but she and my auntie have weird kinda homophobic beliefs on who im supposed to date. according to my mom & aunt, there has to be one “girl gay” and one “boy gay” ie one femme & one butch. they think if im gonna be dating women then they should be butch or otherwise masculine women bc it “balances” both parties of the relationship. they say im more feminine & shy & cute around butches and become more “womanly” so therefore i should be with butches 😭😭😭
SO basically yes my mom would meet butch lesbians in bahrain (they’re v recognisable in my country & have their own label too) and would immediately tell them about me and then exchange details w them. ive met 2 lesbians that way but ngl neither are my type and both have some major internalised homophobia to address. one of them was already in a relationship w a bi woman who’s going to leave her to marry a man (& just waiting until the day they must break up which was sad) and immediately started showing me her nudes (arab butches are the weirdest don’t even ask). the other one told me a fucked up story about how her bi ex left her to marry a man without telling her & when she got mad, her bi ex said “you’re just mad bc no man would want you with how you look”. a normal lesbian might’ve simply said “i don’t want men so idc” but the butch i met took it personally and married a man to prove a point. she got lucky bc he died within a few months of their marriage! he was trying to pressure her into sex and even complained to her family about it so if he didn’t die, who knows what trauma she would’ve faced…. also she told me she takes testosterone & steroids bc she’s a body builder and she has this kind of body smell that men often have (probs bc of the hormones) which were all big turn offs for me so. neither worked out.
my mom also still pressures me to have kids and has been since i was a baby 😭 but luckily she’s been overall supportive of me being a lesbian… hopefully your mom will be the same one day. heteronormativity is so annoying lol i hate how every gay person had to deal with our loved ones fantasising about us dating the opposite sex bc they assume we’d be OSA by default.
also no ur not making a big deal of nothing! it’s a big turn off for me having to pretend that a woman not being feminine means she’s not a woman. and it’s annoying having to pretend someone is my boyfriend or w/e else. i think it only becomes more of a turn off the longer you’re out too bc like damn too many of us already pretended to have boyfriends or to be interested in that stuff so being expected to do that to any capacity is just. bad feelings
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You mentioned in a post that you don’t believe it was Tom’s intention to run his torture-factory/dystopian academy. Why do you think it ended up that way? Did he simply lose the capacity to care about the children at that point?
Oh god.
Why do you people ask me things that require Tolstoy novel length explanations about Tom Riddle that will still make me sound crazy by the end of it?
Let’s get to it, I suppose.
My usual Tom Riddle analysis disclaimers: we have a lot of ground to cover and little time cover it in so I’m not going to expand on every single line I drop, I will undoubtedly offend somebody if I haven’t already and if you think that might be you then you should probably move along, we’re going to have to make a lot of assumptions.
Required reading material (yes, you have asked an ask that has goddamn required reading material):
Tom Riddle’s Goal Was to Destroy the Wizarding World
Tom Riddle’s Not Crazy
Tom Riddle is Depressed and Suicidal
Voldemort is an Idea, Not a Man
You read it? For realz? For really realz? Okay, then let’s move forward.
I think it’s a bit of both.
I think by the time we get to Tom Riddle in canon, let alone Deathly Hallows, he is buried in rage, depression, and nihilism. He cares about very little anymore, is probably in constant physical pain, life is a black pit of despair, and it’s only fitting that somewhere out there the children are suffering too.
Now that said, I do think he never intended for Hogwarts to become the way it did and did put in fairly reasonable efforts so that it would not. It did anyway. Why do I think that?
He left most of the staff, key staff members at that and known resistance members, untouched and in their posts
He put Severus Snape, of all Death Eaters, in charge of the school
He turned a blind eye to the active student rebellion of nearly half the school’s population
He did not remove the children of known resistance members from the castle and make them hostages
The battle of Hogwarts
The Staff
It’s very telling to me that there is little to no turnover of the staff. Yes, we get the Carrows for Defense Against the Dark Arts and Malfoy gets to be a hall monitor on steroids, but all the original faculty remains and most retain their full original positions.
Minerva McGonagall, who is a known Order member, is allowed to retain her position as Transfiguration professor even when she actively aids and engages in the student led rebellion at the school. Hell, she actively spies on Hogwarts’ inner workings and reports back to the Order, and Tom lets her get away with this.
Despite Tom’s destroying the sorting hat, which I actually fully agree with as I think that thing actively causes major rifts in wizarding society, he actually doesn’t want to rock the boat and in this wants education to continue in much the same manner as before he took power.
He Leaves Snape in Charge
Snape is by far the most level headed Death Eater and actually has experience as a professor, seems to handle children well enough, and has existing relationships with the Hogwarts faculty. If anyone was supposed to get Hogwarts working under the new regime and keep everything in check, then it’s this guy.
I imagine Tom thought Snape could easily handle this. Snape can’t handle this.
Unfortunately, Tom trusted Snape to be competent. Snape chose not to be competent, or rather, I’m sure he had no idea what the fuck Tom wanted from him. I think, for all Snape managed to evade detection, he really has no idea how Tom Riddle works, mostly because all he sees of the man is the ridiculous show that is Voldemort. Based on that, Tom Riddle expects the castle to be in ruins by the year’s end, and Snape delivers the best appearance of this he can while actively turning a blind eye to student rebellion.
In other words, Snape went with his best guess of chaos and despair, which was a good guess.
So Snape sits there as Headmaster, the faculty refuses to interact with him, the hired on Death Eater faculty don’t listen to him and he can’t quite tell them off for torturing the children, because he’s pretty sure that’s what Tom wants and the whole thing spirals out of control until the children are actually arming themselves and Tom Riddle has to actually invade Hogwarts.
He has to invade a school, cutting down children, because Snape could not do his job.
Tom Turned a Blind Eye to Student Rebellion
Remember Dumbledore’s Army and how quickly they were found out? These kids are not being at all secretive. They’re having meetings that both Snape and McGonagall are aware of (both doing their best to hide it), we know that eventually Draco the Hall Monitor finds out about it, and it’s clear that there are key active instigators in Hogwarts.
They then actually barricade themselves in a room and refuse to leave, arming themselves for “the rebellion”.
Tom does nothing.
Oh, sure, the people inside the castle do things but Tom never instructs them to stake out Hogsmeade (where they must be getting supplies), to start pulling out the big guns and threatening their specific families, or anything more.
I think this shows Tom was willing to let a lot go, he just couldn’t let go actual open rebellion or the reemergence of Harry Potter the messiah figure rallying the troops.
Where Are the Hostages?
Tom Riddle knows the entire Weasley family are very strong members of the Order of the Phoenix. He knows early in that Neville Longbottom is instigating rebellion within Hogwarts.
Ginny is not immediately taken from Hogwarts, she is, in fact, sent on her merry way and seems to do just fine for months even when her brothers are writing “U No Poo” on their store windows (and indeed, Fred and George suffer nothing for that either).
Neville, while he does eventually go into hiding, is able to act on his own for months as a known close friend of Harry Potter’s and is never taken hostage.
To me it seems very clear that Tom Riddle really does want to leave the kids alone and as undisturbed as he reasonably can given the circumstances.
The Battle of Hogwarts: The Timeout
Tom is eventually forced to invade Hogwarts. His enemies are school children and the teachers who think it’s a brilliant idea to send said school children into battle (it’s the Dumbledore way!)
It’s a slaughter house.
As Harry’s running around like a lunatic he glimpses children being murdered and grievously injured left and right. The Death Eaters are not suffering nealry as collosol damages.
And yet, despite this, Tom calls for a timeout.
He gives a very weird speech, in which he’s giving them an hour reprieve (HINT HINT, WINK WINK) in which they are to deliver him Harry Potter. At which point the battle will be over and they can all go home.
Tom had the advantage, had he cared nothing for the children or actively wanted to put them down, he could have easily done so and captured Harry Potter. Instead, he takes the world’s weirdest timeout, making a very loud announcement about his timeout, likely in the hopes that the children would take the hint and get the hell out of the castle.
No one gets the hint.
Instead, Harry Potter shows up ready to be murdered. Tom will take it, murders Harry, carries his corpse into Hogwarts saying, “YOUR HERO IS DEAD, DESPAIR, NOW PLEASE LEAVE SO I CAN STOP MURDERING ALL OF YOU.”
Harry then springs to life, “GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE! I’M NOT DEAD, YOU CAN CONTINUE MURDERING ALL OF US!”
Tom dies inside, then per my earlier post, runs into an arrow and dies for realz.
TL;DR Tom Riddle’s life is a joke in which he unintentionally ends up murdering the children
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Never Look Away
Summary: Dean and Cas are forced to redefine their relationship as a decade old secret between them finally comes to light.
Dean jumps up, strangely offended.
“Okay, first of all, you’ve seen my browser history. Your true form doesn’t even make my top 10 weirdest things I’ve jerked off to, so that's a load of bull..."
Notes: This is the result of listening to Never Look Away by Vienna Teng for 10 hours gay.
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Careful not to wake him, Dean traces the outlines of Cas’s body illuminated by the reddish hues of the morning sun with his fingers. He can hardly believe it’s only been a year since they defeated God and pulled Cas out of the Empty with the promise of a love returned.
So much has changed in such little time. With the illusion of free will no longer binding Dean to a greater destiny and with Cas and Dean’s own feelings out in the open he finally allowed himself to want all the things he denied himself for so long, always prioritizing other people’s happiness over his own. Now he has it all. A house, a job, a family, a life, Cas. It was so hard at first, to stop looking for hunts and letting go of Sam so he too could start his own life with Eileen by his side, but in the end Dean had been too tired to fight his own desires any longer and gave in.
Fuck the voice of his father telling him his only purpose in life was to watch out for Sammy and fuck the man John wanted him to be. He helped save this world so he gets to live in it in whatever way he wants to and what he wants is to live his cheesy apple pie life waking up every day next to the man he loves.
Cas stirs in his sleep and Dean watches the translucent wings flutter against the light seemingly drinking up the morning sun. They used to be pitch black back when they first met. A beautiful sight, yet not quite fitting the man Cas would eventually become.
Then they burned and Dean could barely stomach to look at them knowing how much the culmination of all of Dean’s mistakes had hurt Cas so irreparably. And now the wings are whole again and even more awe-inspiring than before. Something about Dean rescuing Cas from the Empty or maybe a blessing from Jack has restored them leaving Dean with the desperate urge to touch the intangible. Watching one of the smaller eyes on Cas’ wings slowly flutter open Dean wonders if it would be rude to ask about the colour change and chuckles. The way the wings shimmer with all the colours of the rainbow is just so wonderfully, blatantly gay.
“What’s so funny?” Cas mumbles half asleep as a couple more eyes flutter open searching for the source of Dean’s amusement.
Dean leans over, one hand caressing Cas’ jaw and kisses him softly good morning.
“I just love you so damn much.” He whispers only inches away from his husband’s mouth and rests his forehead against Cas’.
Cas moves back to study Dean’s face questioningly. The familiar stare is so much more intense now that Dean can take all of Cas in without suffering through the burning sensation that always accompanied laying his eyes on something filled with angelic grace.
Dean swallows hard. Having all of Cas’ eyes so solely focussed on him and him alone is such a major turn on. He must be doing it on purpose. It’s unfair how such a simple action has so much of an effect on Dean.
“I don’t understand how that’s funny.” Cas says, one eyebrow raised.
“Then come and find out.”
Dean’s mind is already too far gone to care for the conversation and he pulls Cas closer by his shirt desperate to embrace the parts of Cas that he can actually touch. Now fully awake, Cas reciprocates the action enthusiastically pressing their lips together earnestly and climbing on top of Dean to explore his body with his hands and mouth. Not for the first time Dean curses his past self for not allowing himself to be loved by Cas years ago. There’s so much time they have yet to make up for. Luckily they’re both more than willing to try.
Dean’s musings are cut short when Cas’ attentions move downward as Dean’s legs get pushed apart and Cas presses against Dean’s growing erection.
“Fuck, Cas!” Dean groans and sees new galaxies forming inside Cas’ body. Always good to know that Cas enjoys this as much as Dean does.
The prodding stops and Dean lets out an embarrassing whine.
“Not yet.” Cas teases with a grin, all of his eyes’ attention once again on Dean alone. The bastard. Dean has half the mind to hit him upwards with his knee in retaliation, but soon gets distracted by Cas intertwining his hands with Dean’s and leaning down slowly to kiss the sensitive spot on Dean’s neck. He gasps and moves his neck so Cas can take him apart much easier.
In their closeness Cas’ celestial body engulfs Dean in his entirety and he is left again, breathless, by the unfathomable sight of his lover’s true form. Stars and skies in colours not named by men expand and swirl inside the translutient depths of the oceans and galaxies that make up the angels body as the golden halos’ luminescence submerges them both in it’s light. Dean would lose himself in the sight if it weren’t for the thousands of eyes, holding the knowledge of millenia, watching him unblinkingly in a way that is so Cas, so human, that Dean can’t see anything else but his stupid socially awkward self-sacrificing husband.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” Dean blurts out, giving voice to his thoughts.
Cas flinches away as if burned, his true form doing much the same. He wavers back against the bedroom wall as far away as possible from his vessel and curls in on himself. At least Dean assumes that’s what Cas is trying to do. Cas' true form, once taller than any skyscraper, has shrunk significantly with the absence of grace powering him up, but is still far too large to fit completely inside a house let alone a room.
“What’s wrong?” Dean asks sitting up.
Cas turns away, his eyes fluttering across the room looking for an escape. Dean gingerly places a hand on Cas’ shoulder and is relieved when he’s not pushed away.
“Hey, Cas, buddy. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I know it’s weird coming from me, but let’s not do this again. No more unnecessary secrets. Please.”
Cas takes Dean’s hand into his and nods. One slow measured breath and he starts talking.
“Dean, I- I know you can’t help seeing me this way, but I dislike it when you comment on my appearance.”
Cas’ vessel is still turned away, but out of the corner of his eyes Dean can see Cas, the real Cas, watching his reaction with interest.
“Well, uh, okay, if it makes you uncomfortable I can stop.” Dean starts awkwardly. “But let me assure you there is absolutely no reason for you to feel insecure about the way you look, you’re-” Dean trails off. You’re mind blowingly gorgeous and sometimes your beauty is so overwhelming that I’m scared I’ll cry if I look too closely.
At Dean's words, Cas finally turns to face him.
“I’m not ‘insecure’, Dean.” Cas bites out emphasizing his irritation with air quotes. “In fact my true form is counted as one of the most attractive among my brethren.”
Dean raises an eyebrow. No argument there. Cas is by far the prettiest angel he’s ever seen.
“And I am well aware that you find my vessel visually pleasing, but Dean, what you’re complimenting is not me. It’s Jimmy Novak.”
“Uh, Jimmy’s a good looking guy for sure, but the one who’s beautiful is definitely you.”
Instead of being reassured by Dean’s words Cas just sighs resignated.
“It’s kind of you to refer to my inner beauty, but we both know this is not what you meant. You see Jimmy’s face and call it beautiful. I don’t begrudge you for this but don’t like being confused with him.”
Oh Cas definitely has insecurities. How can he even think Jimmy fucking Novak is anywhere near as attractive as Cas himself?
“No, I meant exactly what I said. You, the you you, are fucking hot.”
Cas’ frowns, unhappy with Dean’s reply.
“It’s okay. I understand. It’s hard to keep Jimmy’s body and I seperate. There’s no need for you to backtrack to make me feel better. Let’s just stop arguing about this.”
“Oh no Jon Snow. Not so fast. Let me put this in terms even you and your insecure ass will understand.”
Dean takes Cas’ face into his hands and stares deeply into his eyes. The staring is a habit from back when Cas was still fully juiced up. With the angel grace making it near impossible to look at Cas’ true form without feeling like his eyes were on fire, the vessel's eyes were the only place Dean’s own could safely escape to.
“Your true form is incredibly attractive. Very sexy. Wings and all. If I could hit that, I would. Inner beauty not required.” He speaks slowly as if to a child. Apparently it was the wrong thing to do as Cas slaps Dean’s hands away unable to suppress his irritation any longer.
“Dean, you’ve never seen my true form and I can assure you if you had, its inhuman nature would stop you from ‘hitting that’.”
Dean jumps up, strangely offended.
“Okay, first of all, you’ve seen my browser history. Your true form doesn’t even make my top 10 weirdest things I’ve jerked off to, so that’s a load of bull and second of all…”
Dean grows quiet. What does Cas mean with Dean’s never seen his true form before? Wasn’t the ability to see angels part of being the Michael Sword or something? How could Cas not know? And even if he didn’t, they’ve known each other for over ten years. It must’ve come up at some point.
Dean rifles through his memories desperate to find the right one, but draws a blank and visibly blanches.
Cas had no reason to believe Dean could see him. Back when they first met, Cas made some assumptions and Dean didn’t correct him, not trusting the self proclaimed angel an inch. And then it’s always been the vessel Dean’s been talking to, never the one puppeteering it. At first out simple necessity, then out of pure habit.
Determined to rectify their decade old misunderstanding Dean makes his way through the bedroom and sits down right in front of what Dean assumes must be the angel equivalent of Cas’ face or maybe his hand. Either way the body part has enough eyes to have an honest conversation with and has been observing Dean and the vessel talk this whole time.
This is Cas. The real Cas. And it’s high time for Dean to stop averting his eyes.
Cas squirms under his stare.
“Dean, childishly staring at an empty wall won’t solve this.” Cas argues from behind Dean and Dean has to suppress the urge to turn around. The voice might be coming from the vessel, but the one talking is the angel in front of him.
“That’s not what I’m doing.” Dean says, looking directly into one of Cas’ bigger eyes. Cas freezes momentarily at the direct eye contact and then his eyes swirl around frantically trying to find whatever it is that Dean’s looking at. Dean's stomach tightens. It hasn’t been fair to make Cas feel as if he’s invisible just because it’s easier for his stupid human brain to talk to the vessel.
Dean reaches out attempting to touch the nervously fluttering wing next to him, but as expected his hand moves right through it. He smiles sadly.
“I’m sorry, Cas. It seems there’s something I’ve neglected to tell you. I thought you knew, but that’s not an excuse.” Dean pauses. “I’ve always been able to see you.”
There’s a storm brewing inside Cas, a tension. One wrong move and a star could explode setting off a supernova that is held at bay by nothing but a shimmering skin made of light and colours. His husband is nervous at the possibility of being seen, Dean realises and has no choice but to confirm Cas’ worry.
“When you were still full of grace I couldn’t look directly at you without fearing for my eyes, so I got used to looking at your vessel instead, but I’ve always known and seen the real you.”
Ever since Dean could remember gigantic and intangible creatures taller than skyscrapers with wings that could pierce the heavens have been watching him from a distance, their countless eyes following his every move. Scary, yet unimaginably beautiful. As a child Dean would try to describe them and ask what they were, but apart from his mom there was never anyone trying to hear him out.
“Children and their imagination.” Adults would say and ruffle his hair whenever he tried to ask about them and by the time he was four he realised that he’s the only one who could see them.
Then his mom died and all his questions and curiosity were left behind in the ruins of their broken home. Dean learned quickly that John had no use for children and their imaginary friends. He needed to grow up and become a soldier for his family’s sake. So he followed the orders, and pretended not to see these watchers following him around.
Later, when Dean was a teen and John was gone most of the time, Sam often dragged him to libraries and Dean would do his own research on the creatures in secret, too scared to ask anyone for help. John made it pretty clear he didn’t want Dean talking about them and Dean feared that if he told someone and didn’t have proof of their existence Dean would be sent off to a mental ward for seeing things that were simply not there. In the end it took dying and coming back to life to find his answers.
Despite having seen these creatures all of his life, when they summoned the one named Castiel, Dean needed a moment to figure out what he was seeing. He’s never been this close to any of them and the proximity was overwhelming. Dean was suddenly acutely aware just how Pamela's eyes could've been burned out so easily by the creature's visage.
In an attempt not to suffer the same fate as her, Dean averted his eyes and spotted a man entering the barn, his body connected with small tendrils to the large creature around him. A puppet, Dean thought, one he could touch and subsequently kill, so without another moment's hesitation Dean took the first shot. And then the second, a third. Neither the puppet nor the creature were faced by his attempts to fight, merely curious. As if Dean was nothing more but an ant trying to fight a giant.
“I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.” The puppet finally said, inhuman in everything but his appearance and so Dean stabbed him as a thanks for the introduction. Next thing he knew, Bobby was down and the guy began claiming to be an angel.
“There’s no such thing.” Dean said, but the voice of his mother telling him that angels were watching over him thought differently.
The man’s body straightened and the creature, Castiel, stood up, his form ending far beyond the barn’s roof and he spread his wings. Bolts of lighting exploded into an array of mesmerizing fireworks and Dean was left breathless before the angel. His terrifying beauty nesting deep inside Dean’s heart and he knew he was lost.
“No, you must be lying.” Cas says as his body trembles under Dean’s stare.
“I’m not.” Dean replies, leaving no room for debate and moves closer to Cas, who seems to be trying to escape through the bedroom wall. “So believe me when I say that you’re fucking beautiful and only thinking about you watching me with your many many eyes is enough to make me hard.”
Cas sputters incoherently and his body changes colours rapidly, eventually settling on a pinkish sort of hue. Oh. That’s new. Dean grins.
“Cas, Huggybear, are you blushing?” Dean teases, taking immense amusement in this new discovery. Cas swirls him around in an attempt to make Dean look at his vessel again, but with a true form as big as Cas’ it’s not hard to find a new part of Cas’ body to focus his attention on.
“No.” Cas growls defensively. “Stop looking.”
“Make me.” The reply is a bit cliché but Dean isn’t trying to win an Oscar. He’d much rather film a porn instead.
In the blink of an eye Dean is encased possessively in Cas’s wings and pushed onto the bed with urgency. Fuck yes.
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I JUST FOUND OUT BEE AND PUPPYCAT HAD A SECOND SEASON! GUESS WHAT I JUST FINISHED WATCHING!
Oh my fucking god holy shit, my guys! This show. This fucking show. Where do I even start! First off
SPOILERS!!!!!!
YOU DO NOT WANT TO WALK INTO THIS SEASON, THIS SHOW, WITH SPOILERS! DO NOT FUCKING LOOK, THIS IS 1000% SPOILER TERRITORY!!!
So I will be taking the extra step of taking my laptop out, and continuing this on there(and after I wake up because it's 4am and I regret absolutely NONE of this whatsoever because, guys, I love this show with everything I have left to my being, I swear, I will die for a third season)
Warning: This is a long one.
OKOKOKOK! I know I know! It’s been uh...A Month since I first posted this! BUT I am Here Now and Ready!!! I am less than 10 seconds into the first episode of season 2 and I am already So Ready to relive this!!(Dream SMP has Nothing on this show, God I Love This Show Far Too Much!!!!!!)
...First ten minutes...I have So Much I want to say...Just-just a lot of love...
okokokokokokokokokok!!!!!! I think I know how I’m going to do this now! One bullet for each episode! Let’s see if I stick with it.
Gentle Touch
In the first episode we already get a big game changer for Bee and her development. Bee becoming more responsible as a favor for Deckard. He asks her to take care of his family while he’s at cooking school and we already see her doing this. Going out to the ocean with Weasley, going out of her comfort zone for people she’s practically family to, which is why we got the beginning flashback, once again going out of her comfort zone to stop Puppycat from punching kittens, And Finally, coming out from her nap cupboard to face Howl and help pay for bills by eating ugly food.
Little Fingers
Ooh, this one has foreshadowing dream sequence. I would say more about it if it had more significance, but it’s really just what happens to Bee in the last ep. This episode brings more of Bee being responsible, trying to take her phone away from Puppycat so he stops making bad purchases. This episode made me realize what Puppycat’s role is this season, the child. Or something among those lines. He’s the same as he was last season, but it seems/is a bit more exaggerated because Bee isn’t doing the same things anymore. She’s started to care about consequences. And speaking about consequences, Toast announces she’s pregnant while confirming that she’s been staying...in Cass’s room(?)...weird, but ok, and by Tim pointing and Merlin’s reaction, it’s Merlin’s...but also everyone else seemed like they thought they were the culprit and I don’t want to think about the implications of that....MOVING ON-OH WAIT, And Cardamon’s mom is spouting magic tears that messes with the plants, so there’s that.
Snow and Violets
I’m going to be honest, I’m not 100% sure what to put here and I’m loosing steam. (I’ve been awake since 3 am...) But I think I can put something. The situation with Mr. Cup is the definition of being haunted by your past. The guilt and regret of cheating in the past has made him lose his motivation to give it his all in racing because, what’s the point? Motivation and not caring was his norm, so he just stuck with it. Until Bee, and now he can be a rainbow and sleep with less guilt and regret on his conscience. The thing with the island rapidly changing could be one of three things. Something to do with the ship that Is the island, a metaphor for change, or something really cool the creators just wanted.
Day off Work
Not Too much to note for this ep overall. Puppycat totally did do the ‘wrecking the house in search for the owner’ thing dogs do. Finally, a dog trait! Every time I see Cardamon now I just get sad cause he’s 7, and should Not be doing landlord stuff. Bee showing worry about how Cardamon’s mom is still asleep and being worried about Cardamon himself, I’m just glad someone’s noticing. I keep forgetting that some people haven’t watched the pilot so they don’t know about Puppycat being a Space Outlaw, so when he found all his stuff under the apartment I was less surprised and more excited. The two last things I want to say is I think it’s interesting/cool/intriguing how the Wizard family just takes every weird thing either in stride, unquestioningly, or ignorance. Just trying to pretend it didn’t happen so they don’t have to deal with it(other than Crispin, but he’s coming up). And the last thing I just want to bring to light is CARDAMON BEING SO CUTE IN THE LAST SCENE! JUST BEING A CHILD! AND LAUGHING WITH HIS DOG! ON A FUNNY CHAIR! I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR AND I WILL PROTECT THAT SMILE WITH MY WHOLE BEING!!!
My Favorite
Note, Pretty Patrick is also The Mayor. Alright. It’s definitely been a few months and you can see the relationship between Howl and Bee has gotten better, not that it was too bad to begin with, just a bit less peeved on Howl’s end. The theme of Bee being responsible is brought into play again with the train station scene. Telling Puppycat to not hit and the way Puppycat was acting around Patrick. All little kid stuff. Which also kind of clashes with what I thought was Puppycat being older than Bee by a lot, I’m honestly slowly getting more and more confused exactly how I should perceive Puppycat. THE FIRST REAL LOOK AT THE HAND GUYS! I’m still not sure what their deals are, but they have a corpse on their hands and that is already the biggest red flag. I have a guess as to what/who they are in relation to Puppycat and, by acquaintance, Bee, but I could be wrong, but I also can’t think of any other people they may be. I’ll bring it back up either the next time we see them or at the end.
Did You Remember
Grampa Puppycat cares about his granddaughter a whole lot. Don’t @ me, their dynamic is more confusing than a moving maze...Now this episode, ooh boy, it feels like a lot, but in a minimal way? First off, Cardamon finally breaks down about the stress of being a 7 year old landlord and Bee takes care of him for the day. Big Sis Bee For The Win! DON’T @ ME I MAKE UP MY OWN FAMILY DYNAMICS!!! Kind of continuing from the first sentence, Puppycat and Bee love each other(I Stand By Platonically For Them) so much already, for them it’s been a little over a year considering Puppycat fell into Bee’s life before her last birthday and now they’re celebrating another one. And I must admit, I can not for the life of me figure out wtf the deal is with the tears. They have little shapes of recent events in them and they make plants weird/straight up just make life! Like, What Even Is That?! Also, Cardamon finally gets a good sleep.
Bird Friend
Ok, so we got more ship pieces, a most likely reason as to why Puppycat was Like That in the last few episodes of season 1 and has been goopy every now and again in this season. Apparently eating things he shouldn’t eat make him Extremely off model and goopy. More hands! But not the rest of them this time around. I wonder if Sticky’s hunt for all the birds has any significance other than showing us another piece. Puppycat breaking down and spilling a few secrets after stress eating off the floor and Bee immediately saying no to someone else telling her what’s wrong with Puppycat and letting him come to her first instead of forcing him is always such a good lesson to have. Also, Cass is into weirdly shaped shiny things.
Two Clown Noses
Ah, it’s this one. The one that Really throws a wrench into the Bee/Deckard ship. THEY’RE BOTH SO CUTE! I CAN’T CHOOSE!!! This entire episode is just Crispin and Bee hanging out with the added angst of the beginning ‘story’. This world is full of such amazingly crazy characters and Crispin’s backstory is one of those crazier ones. Bee and him Lived Together and Know Each Other, he knows she’s a robot! My only question is, what happened that they broke up? WAIT- DID THEY EVEN BREAK UP?! It would be weird if they weren’t because they were living together and then they decide to live separate again would make no sense. I think I just jumped to the weirdest conclusion...Anyway! How would Puppycat get sick? I feel like that was just another thing they added to create different dynamics. The beginning birthday thing and the conclusion felt so real even though the cause was something so out there that I feel like only animated shows like this could pass, but also I feel like someone out there has done something similar, so what do I know. Yeah, not much else about this episode, it was mostly just Bee/Crispin stuff and character stuff. Gosh they’re so cute...but so is Bee/Deckard. Being a multishipper is hard...
Funny Lying
RIGHT! THEY’RE CALLED THE WARLOCKS! THAT’S THE TITLE I WAS FORGETTING! Tim knows everyone’s secrets, comes with the perk of having a lot of time and not talking much, you observe everyone else while they think you’re doing something else. I know from experience. Eavesdropping is a specialty of mine. SHIT THIS IS THE ONE WHERE CASS GETS THE MESSAGE DISSING HER FOR FALLING FOR TOAST FROM A COWORKER! I caught those vibes during the first season, but then the first half of this season came along and I was forced to drop those vibes in favor of cannon because TOAST WAS PREGOS WITH ONE OF CASS’S BROTHER’S KIDS! I’m good at catching gay vibes in fictional worlds, but I’m shit in the real world, just like everything else. And the thing is, we don’t get Any kind of explanation/closure for the entire rest of the season! We see Toast totally shocked reaction, probably moments before she was going to sneak attack Cass, but froze upon seeing that text. AND WE GET NOTHING ABOUT THAT FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON! Anyway, that was only like 2 minutes into the ep, this is taking forever. We got more Bee being responsible for Cardamon and getting rid of the tears, but the biggest part of this episode is undoubtedly Puppycat’s scenes. We got him sinking to the bottom of the ocean and getting cradled by flowers created by the tears next to the ship. We find out he was bullied and ridiculed in school as a kid and his best friend(idk what else they would be counted as), Violet, convinced him to leave their planet after they accidently summon their ship, leaving Puppycat’s mother behind. seeing how he cried about leaving her she seems to have been a great caretaker and he loved her immensely. We get the scene of Bee’s dad as a baby/Very young child on a mission, giving a presentation, and finding the candy to be a source of energy by cracking it open. Making me think, ‘Is that Bee’s fuel source? If it is, how would not taking full doses for two years effect her?’ because in the first season she splits the candy in half to share with Puppycat and in this season she didn’t eat the candy at all. Makes me even more worried for the future knowing what state she’s in when this season ends. With the last flower fever dream/memory it seems that the princess that he fell in love with was the one to make the final move to turning him into a ‘monster.’ Don’t worry tho, Bee saved him from the bottom of the ocean
Golden Eyes
(I’m getting more and more tired as this goes one. I started doing this at around 12 this morning and now it’s nearing 6 pm. I’m loosing it!) We got another birthday and it’s Howl’s this time, though it’s not really his episode. The fish are attracted to the wish crystals for some reason and one eats a bit of it to be ‘human’ for a day. I love how the fish hated being a human and Weasley didn’t even notice it was a date. I don’t know if it was or not, but ending on that was funny. We got the return of the major douche from the season 1 finally and a mention of Moully.
Why Don’t You Help Me?
(I took a break between episodes, aka I went tf to sleep, because I was falling asleep at the table and not really processing everything enough for what I’m trying to do) Ok, so this is a day in the life of Cardamon episode with supposed parelles to the Warlocks. We start with the red one stuck and the others unwilling to help...and then they start drawing Puppycat’s face on the 5th one’s corpse and these guys just do not care that it’s a dead body that they supposedly killed themselves. In short, they have all my fear because they are uncaring about body counts. Cardamon still goes to school on top of being a self proclaimed landlord and gets made fun of for being responsible and tattling at every chance he gets. Something I just noticed too is, at first I just assumed he was finally getting tired after being an adult in a child’s body for who knows how long, but now I’m thinking if he’s supposed to be asleep with Violet, his mom, then the reason for him being so tired is being awake too long. It could most likely be both, too. Just like Cardamon, I have no idea what all the tears mean. In the most recent one was see Moully as the charm in the center. What’s the pattern with these? Again we see Bee being responsible and taking care of Cardamon, making sure he gets home safe, tucking him in, and pulling an all night favor so he can sleep and get to school in the morning. Speaking of that, I can’t say I like Cardamon’s teachers all that much. I could rant about them, but this is already long and they’re not worth it. My only real question is, why the hell are their clothes so ragged and dirty? Do they not know how to bathe? Just, WTF? (either that or they’re Really not trying to hide their *ahem* activities from the kids, which just makes me want to punch sense into them or something)
Now I’m Really Alone
MOULLY!!!! Sorry, I just love him a lot. From what I can put together, he’s some kind of gift giving being. Giving wishes, exchanging good deeds and quick favors for other good deeds and favors. Just being Really nice and wanting to help everyone he comes across. This episode makes me see so much in common between Bee and Moully. They both want to help even when they don’t know how. Making messes and finding ways clean up those messes out of guilt and the feeling of obligation. They both have lost things they need to pick up and the knowledge that they have all the time in the world because they’ve both been alive for so long. It keeps getting hinted, but now kind of confirmed, that the Wizard’s know Bee is Weird because they haven’t seen her age. Hell, seeing how she interacts with Cardamon she could have even baby sat them. So all the Wizard’s know she’s Weird and, supposedly, only Crispin knew she was a robot. That was until Deckard found out in the season 1 finally. Once again bringing up the point of people in the Wizard family finding something out and ignoring it and hiding it. In the season 1 finally, Tim asked Cass if Deckard wasn’t depressed anymore, practically saying that Deckard has some form of depression. Depression being a mental illness that runs in families, it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume that some other members of the family have similar problems. One of the things I remember depression doing is the person will see a problem and ignore it. Something that many people in this show do with the weirdness around them and the emotional states/situations of the other people in the show. This season is about finally seeing the thing you’ve been ignoring and doing something about it. And that’s what Bee’s been doing this season, taking charge and finally getting her junk out of the ocean and getting REALLY far out of her comfort zone. She HATES water and the ocean, but she’s diving in to take back what’s hers and cleaning up a mess. There’s A Lot to analyze with this episode, the similarities of Moully’s and Bee’s situations and personalities, Puppycat being the responsible one again for the long run of things, the tears and how the wish crystals work, and the state of multiple character’s minds. Ignorance is bliss until it isn’t.
I Won’t Leave You Alone
Ok, SO MANY NOTES! Which makes sense seeing how it’s the last episode. First off, THOSE WARLOCK BASTDARDS VIOLATED MOULLY AND IF THEY WERE REAL I WOULD THROTLE THEM TILL THEIR HEADS POPPED OFF!!! I am a very protective person when it comes to things I care about. And I’m going to say it here and now incase something comes up of it, Cooking Prince gives be Colorful Vibes, if you know what I mean. You don’t follow someone home and bother them when they don’t want to be bothered unless you’re Into into them. That’s all I’m saying and if nothing comes of it, I will drop it. I’m barely hanging onto it to begin with. So, last episode we watched one of three hands punching the other hands to let Moully go, and in this episode it’s confirmed that the day Moully was pulled through the void, the 5th warlock died. My theory with that is, the 5th one was against getting Puppycat in some way and retaliated by fighting them off of Moully and then the others retaliated by killing them in some way. And the tears in this episode didn’t give life to the corpse, but grew new life over top of it, the tears can’t bring the dead back. The ship gets put back together and we see Puppycat being pretty selfish again, bringing the ship online while Bee gets scooped trying to help Moully. He indirectly helped, but only after he got what he wanted. Cooking Prince, an outsider, brings up how everything going on on the island is Weird and Cass celebrates someone acknowledging it. Once again, bringing back the ‘ignorance is bliss until it’s not’ thing going on around here. Cardamon does more childish things this episode, making a wish and crying in his mother’s arms. He got to finally let go of his responsibilities and let it out until he passed out, and now he gets to sleep again. Moully and Bee are out of commission and the Wizard’s+Cooking Prince stay one the island/ship to be with Bee even though they are mostly confused about EVERYTHING going on rn. Bee has multiple Bees now while she’s out, and so, they go looking for Bee’s dad. I have a feeling he has at least some white hairs by now.
I remember watching this season for the first time. I remember I definitely cried at multiple points, but I can’t exactly remember what points now. I didn’t cry this time, I was too busy taking everything in and trying to put what little pieces I could find together. The first season was to get us used to this world and get comfortable for a chill ride, but then it smacks you in the face with something much bigger at the very end. This season was to make you pay more attention and to question your surroundings. It was also about the first steps to taking charge of your life. If Bee didn’t do all the responsible things she did this season, the warlocks would have probably gotten Puppycat while the island went to shambles. Actions have consequences and that’s what this was about. I believe next season is why ‘Lazy in Space’ was the title. The characters are going to be in space, looking for Bee’s dad, and will acknowledge all the weird things going on while developing, excuse the pun, in out of this world ways.
I can’t wait for season 3.
#bee and puppycat#this show is fucking amazing#it is worth the loss of sleep time and work#bee and puppycat spoilers#season 2 spoilers#bee and puppycat season 2#bee and puppycat season 2 spoilers#now I usually tag every character that I mention but that would be imposable at this point#show review#season review#I love this show lots#it deserves all the love it can get#(I'll rb with the link I used but I'll only tag it minimally just incase)
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P1-I see a lot of ppl analyze F2 saying how E & A have everything they had before but now they have even more. I don’t agree with that. I think they gave up everything to gain something that neither of them wanted. All E & A ever wanted was to be together. No where does it mention in canon or even hints at that A wants to be Q or E wants freedom from her kingdom and A. Let’s just say they see each other once a week, which is know is false bc both the movie and books show they don’t.
P2- But even if they did, how does that compare to seeing each other throughout the day or living with one another? Even if A & E saw each other every day it still doesn’t change how much they would miss out on. A & E aren’t parent and child. It’s true children can grow up and move out and sometimes away. But they still come visit and you develop a new relationship. But you can’t put that type of relationship on E & A. It doesn’t work. A & E are true love, it’s different.
P3- I know the creators were really stuck on this whole “parent/child” bond throughout the movie but the concept that A has to let E go just like a parent must let go of their child to make their own way in the world doesn’t work for A & E’s relationship. A & E have already lost so much time together. They would never choose to be separated over being together. Haven’t they suffered enough? Being Elsa home to her A. Break up the forced engagement.
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I agree with you: “they gave up everything to gain something that neither of them wanted“
What are those “things” that they have now??
Anna lost her sister, after 13 years spent apart, and 3 years together, they’re separated again, and she got a crown she never wanted.
Elsa lost her sister, her job, her home, her people, and got a fucking horse.
I’m sure they would say she got freedom. But she had that already, before the retcon, before Frozen “jumped the shark”.
All they ever wanted was being together, never a crown or freedom#2.
I have to say that the parent/child relationship the writers imposed on them on F2 was the weirdest thing I have ever seen, and I would have never expected it. It shows how misguided they were.
I know we can “thank” KBell for it, she mentioned it. She talked about the relationship with her children and draw parallels with elsanna.
I think it’s fucked up, sorry not sorry.
TBH I felt something was wrong when we saw the first images of elsanna in F2, the bed scene....Anna helping Elsa to bed, trying to help her to relax, etc....
I would have expected the other way around.
Why?
Because yes in Frozen Anna saves Elsa, but in FF and OFA we finally see Elsa acting like the older sister, taking care of Anna, and I thought the roles were established. And I liked them that way.
Of course, in a regular relationship both persons care for each other, but this is not what F2 told us. In F2 we see Anna taking care of Elsa, struggling to let her go, etc....
It’s a weird theme between sisters, I always felt it as weird, and that’s why I was probably the only one who didn’t like the bed scene as it was.
I thought it should have been the other way around, after FF and OFA, and I had the feeling, even just from that, they were going in the wrong direction.
And I was right, considering this parent/child bullshit they pulled and how Elsa didn’t care for Anna in 99% of the movie.
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Do ALL 92 NSFW asks 🔥🔥
Oof! Okay 😅
1. When did you lose your virginity?
When I was 18
2. Rough sex or soft sex?
Definitely rough sex 💁🏻♀️
3. Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?
I don’t actually think I do tbh
4. Weirdest place you’ve had sex?
Probably up a mountain road in the car, it was super foggy and creepy
5. Favourite sex position?
Probably doggy or cowgirl 🤠
6. Do you like to be dominant or submissive?
90% of the time submissive but I don’t mind trying to switch it up sometimes
7. Have you ever had any one night stands?
Can’t say that I have nope
8. Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?
Bed for sure, like I don’t mind spontaneous places sometimes but ya gal likes to be comfortable!
9. Have you ever had sex in a public place?
Yaaasssss 😈
10. Have you ever been caught masturbating?
Nope
11. What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?
Black, lace, mostly see through, quite plain tbh but still looks nice
12. How often do you have sex?
Usually most days/nights but when I’m on night shift, not so much cause all I do is sleep 😂
13. Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?
Always wanna have sex with my fiancé 😏
14. Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?
I’m a people pleaser so I love giving oral sex but honestly my man is that good it’s a tough decision 🤤
15. Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?
Not sure anything overly embarrassing has happened -during- sex but I have had someone else’s parents walk in right after while we were still naked
16. A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?
Putting it out there that I’ve never actually had music on when I’ve had sex like what are people’s thoughts on that? I feel like I’d be too focused on the song and just start singing along 😂
17. A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?
^^^
18. Are you into dressing up for sex?
For sure!
19. Would you prefer sex in the bath or in the shower?
Definitely the shower, my other half is 6ft 3 so the bath really would not work for us 😅
20. If you could have sex with anyone right now who would it be?
Well I’m rewatching Supernatural for the millionth time so I’ll say Jensen Ackles 😂
21. Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?
I never have and I don’t think I’d be into it tbh I’m waaay to jealous and would not like to share
22. Do you/would you use sex toys?
I actually haven’t, I know people who have and they seem to love them so I don’t know if I’m missing out?
23. Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?
Definitely! For the first year or so of my relationship we lived in different countries so it was kind of necessary
24. Would you have sex with your best friend?
I love my best friend and they’re hella attractive but I would never want to ruin it and lose them for any reason so probs not ❤️
25. Is there anything you do after sex? (For example, smoke, eat, drink?)
Uaully get a drink, sometimes it can be a couple of hours 😂
26. Something that will never fail to get you horny?
Back massages! My partner straddles my bum and he always gets horny and then I do too
27. Early morning sex or late night sex?
Any time of day sex!!!
28. Favourite body part on the opposite sex?
That cute lil butt!
29. Favourite part on the same sex?
Also butt!!!!
30. Something that you’ve hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find?
I’ve hidden weed and edibles in my room cause although my fiancé is cool with me smoking etc he just doesn’t want it in our house (it’s not legal where we live)
31. Weirdest sexual act someone has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you?
I can’t think of anything I’ve found really weird or like out of the blue tbh
32. Have you ever tasted yourself? [if no would you?] [if yes, what did you think]
I have off my partners fingers, can’t say I’d order it at a restaurant like...don’t really know an appropriate response 😂
33. Is it ever okay to not use a condom?
I mean if you’re both tested and know you’re safe then I suppose but if you’re with someone new then I think it’s definitely safest to use condoms. We don’t, we’ve been together for 4 years and I take the pill but each to their own I suppose 💁🏻♀️
34. A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience?
Have used whipped cream before but it just ended in a sticky horrible mess so I’m not a big fan tbh
35. Worst possible time to get horny?
At a family gathering
36. Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?
Definitely! 🤤
37. How much fapping is too much fapping?
You can never have too much fapping 😂
38. Best sexual compliment you ever got?
My partner compliments me so much during sex so I don’t really know what to pick
39. Favourite foreplay activities?
Back massages, making out, neck kisses
40. What do you wear to bed?
Most of the time just a big tshirt but sometimes nothing
41. When was the first time you masturbated
I’m not really sure, I’ll say maybe when I was 15?
42. Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/videos of yourself?
Yup
43. Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?
Yeah maybe like a year ago?
44. Have/would you ever have sex in public?
Yaaaaas
45. Have/would you ever have a threesome?
Same question as Q21 ^
46. What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?
Hmm maybe just a bunched up blanket? Can’t really think of anything else
47. Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? Why/why not?
I don’t really watch a lot of porn but I have watched both gay and lesbian, I find males, females, trans and non binary people attractive so why not?
48. Do you like oral sex?
Love it!
49. How do you feel about tattoos on someone you’re insterested in?
Love tattoos!
50. How would you feel about taking someone’s virginity?
Totally fine I suppose 💁🏻♀️
51. Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?
Whipped cream ^^^
52. Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?
I think probably a prostitute
53. Do you watch porn?
Not that often
54. Have you ever been called a freak? Why?
I mean probably at some point in my life, I’m into weird movies and tv shows and my personality is a bit wacky. But not sexually
55. Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?
Definitely, I do most days juts lounging around the house 😂
56. Would you have a problem going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?
Not at all, if they want to be au naturel that’s their choice and I have no problem with it
57. If you could give yourself head, would you?
Sounds like too much work to me, would rather just lie back and enjoy it being done by someone else
58. Booty or boobs?
Booty for sure!
59. Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)
I have not
60. If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?
Fuck someone, walk around outside with my shirt off, fuck someone, helicopter dick and fuck someone 😂
61. Have you ever watched someone masturbate
Yup
62. Has anyone ever watched you masturbate
Yup
63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?
I have a vagina so nope
64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie toys, clitoral, prostate?)
Mostly clitoral with some penatrative thrown in
65. What is your bra/penis size?
36G (•Y•)
66. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever put up your vagina/anus
Nothing strange or exciting, just dick
67. When was the last time you masturbated?
A few days ago
68. When was the last time you had sex?
Earlier today
69. When was the last time you watched porn?
A few weeks ago maybe?
70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?
I don’t have any and have never used any but I suppose if I ever did I’d start with a clit vibrator
71. Guys: circumcised?
Not sure if this question is asking is my penis circumcised or if I prefer a guy to be circumcised? I don’t have a penis but I’ve been with both and definitely would say I prefer circumcised. Think I got lucky with my fiancé cause I don’t think it’s that common where we live
72. Which non-genital part of your body do you like being touched?
Back
73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?
I mean, like all of them? 😂💁🏻♀️
74. Girls: are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?
Definitely 😅😩🤤
75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?
I haven’t, up until like two weeks ago I didn’t even know how to ask anonymously on here, my bestie had to explain it to me even tho I’ve had this account for years 😂
76. When was the last time you had a wet dream?
Honestly not even sure if I’ve had one!
77. Which wet dream was your favourite?
^^^
78. Is there a friend you would willing have sex with?
I have like 2 friends total 😂 but like I said before, although they are attractive and I love them probably not because I wouldn’t want to ruin things plus I’m happy with my fiancé
79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?
I know it’s hella weird but I’ve always had a thing for Jack Nicholson 😂 I would just to say I had
80. Favourite sexual position?
Same as a previous question ^^^
81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?
Definitely, especially while he’s choking me
82. Are you into any BDSM
Probably only light BDSM but I’d try most things once
83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldn’t for any reason? Why?
I don’t think so
84. So you like dirty talk
Feel like it’s a must 💁🏻♀️😈
85. Are you loud/quiet during sex? Masturbation?
I’d say quite loud yeah 😅
86. Have you ever been interrupted during sex/masturbation? Who/what?
Yeah, my other half came to visit me at uni and my house mate was banging on the door asking me to come help her take her high heels off cause she was drunk and couldn’t work the straps 🙄
87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?
Don’t watch a lot but I don’t really have anything I watch most, just normal stuff I suppose?
88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?
Probably just my fiancé
89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?
Definitely, lived in different countries for a year, what else was I supposed to do? 😂
90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?
Same as a previous question ^^^
91. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Are they still beneficial?
Not sure they were even beneficial to begin wit tbh 🙄
Thanks so much for the ask, nobody ever sends asks so I suppose doing them all isn’t a bad thing 😂
#thanks for the ask!#ask me anything#ask me stuff#send me asks#anons wanted#send me anons#anons welcome#naughty#anons open
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hi! do you have a fic rec page? i'd love to see what your all-time fav destiel fics are
I don’t have a fic rec page. I've been thinking about making one for a long time, but I haven’t. Still, I’m going to list some of my favorite fics and add the summary.
Burden by riseofthefallenone (WIP, mutant!AU)
Mutants are considered second class citizens, or worse. Discriminated against at every turn, mutants are marked and monitored by The Registry and any deemed too dangerous are taken away to The Facility. It’s no surprise that many try to hide or choose a more permanent way out if a mutation develops.
Castiel’s parents hid his mutation and hid him away from the world. He’s grown up with the knowledge that the world will hate him, no matter what he does. If he leaves the house, he can only do it with a long, heavy coat that covers the most beautiful part of him.
It takes a pair of brothers to help him really spread his wings and live.
Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits (canon!verse)
For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental.
It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.
the cost of a thing by quiettewandering (canon!verse)
16 months ago, Cas became human.
12 months ago, Cas left the bunker and a broken-hearted Dean behind.
Now they must work a case together, where married couples are dying mysterious deaths and the only way to earn the neighbors' trust is by pretending to be married. Slowly, Dean finds that he loves being in a relationship with Cas, fake or not, and Cas finds his loneliness retreating, despite the harsh reality looming right around the corner. As Dean and Cas navigate this fake, but all too real, relationship, can they find the monster that is on a mysteriously motivated killing spree before it’s too late?
'Cause I'm Yours by FeaRauko(canon!verse)
He steps outside during Sam and Eileen's wedding reception for a breather.Dean follows him.
or
That one where Cas is so very tired of pretending that he isn't madly in love with Dean...or as though he can't clearly see the way Dean loves him back.
Scarsby lemonsorbae(punk!dean and hipster!cas AU)
Dean Winchester doesn’t answer to anybody about anything. Not about his ever changing hair color or tattoos, not his music, and definitely not about all the fucks he definitely doesn’t give. Of course, then he meets pretentious, skinny jean wearing, ugly sweater buying Castiel Edlund who’s hardest lot in life is probably alphabetizing inventory at his uncle’s record store, and suddenly Dean has to answer for everything.
Castiel, on the other hand, had long since accepted his fate as an anti-social, directionless, and misunderstood soul, with his cat, Meg, and a bottle of whiskey being the only company he needed. But then fate threw him Dean, the abrasive, infuriating punk who wears guyliner, and walks around like the chip on his shoulder is something to be proud of, and Castiel’s carefully constructed life was turned ass over teakettle.
After a heated exchange upon first meeting, a mutual loathing afterwards, and the glaring opposites in their lives, neither of them sees the point of mixing oil and water. Which would be all good and well, except neither of them seems to be able to stay away from the other.
Stand By Me by whelvenwings (post-apocalypse!AU)
Dean Winchester has been alone for a long, long time.
When he and Castiel happen to find each other - a couple of survivors in a world that’s been all but wiped clean - Dean’s looking for his brother; Castiel is looking for something to look for. They stick together, because neither of them much wants to be alone. They hate each other at first, of course. Dean hates Castiel for being weird and quiet and ironic and antagonistic and proud. Castiel hates Dean for being blunt and reckless and coarse, for drinking, for refusing to talk about how he feels and just pretending everything is fine. Most of all, they hate themselves and each other just for being alive. What right do they have to be alive? No one else seems to be.
But against his own will, Dean starts to notice things about Castiel that he likes. Starts to hope that Castiel might like him, too. And together, they start to fight for a world where they're both alive - and that's a good thing.
Rest in Pieces by xylodemon (canon!verse)
"Goddamned ghosts," Dean snaps, stabbing his shovel into the dirt. "Goddamned Heaven."
(or: the one with the Ghost Apocalypse)
A Priori by K_K_TiBal, whelvenwings (WIP, Hogwarts!AU)
Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak are headed to Hogwarts.
Castiel, as a member of the old Novak wizarding family, is fully expected to be sorted into Ravenclaw, like all of his ancestors before him. Dean, as a Muggle-born, has no idea what the Houses even are. With a surprise sorting and classes starting soon afterwards, they're both pitched headfirst into the unknown - and they find themselves in competition with each other almost at once, both of them needing to prove themselves to the people they left at home, and the people with them at Hogwarts.
Over the course of their seven years at Hogwarts, Dean and Cas learn what it means to prove yourself, what it takes to discover who you are, what it feels like to fall in love, and what it is they'll fight for - what matters most of all.
Love: A Retrospective by xylodemon(canon!verse)
Pretending Cas is just his friend has been the only thing keeping Dean's head on straight for years. He never realized how much doing that depended on him making himself scarce in the morning ─ not until Cas came back and moved into the bunker.
where the weeds take root by loneprairies (canon!verse)
“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”
These Violent Delights by Persephoneshadow (canon!verse)
A newly mortal Castiel wants to understand humanity, and a little Shakespeare is just the thing to help him. Of course, it takes a little bit of prodding, but soon the Winchesters (along with Kevin and Charlie) are all part of the world's weirdest reading club. Of course, the poetry starts having an effect on everyone...
The Five People You Meet in Heaven by amarillogrande(canon!verse)
Heaven is white.
Well. Isn’t that fucking stereotypical.
Dean isn’t really sure how he got here. Or even why he’s here. And hell, for all the times the Winchesters have died, he thinks he ought to know the drill by now. But what he doesn’t know is when most folks go, they find something different.
There’s a system God put in place. That when you’re gone (for good), there are a couple things you gotta do first. There are five people waiting for you.
They are the five people you meet in heaven.
Castle on a Cloud by whelvenwings (fantasy!AU)
Dean Winchester has his whole life planned out. Becoming a warrior is all he’s ever dreamed about, since he was tiny - saving people, hunting monsters; quests and deeds and swords and glory. He’s done his training and he’s ready to become a Savaşçı, a knight of the realm. All that stands in his way is the Vigil, a night-long contemplation of his past and future in the chapel just outside the city walls. The only rules: no eating, no speaking, and no opening the door.
Easy, right?
Very easy. Until there’s a knocking, and a voice from outside that pleads for his help…
So begins Dean’s journey, and his path will take him far - across the desert, through the forests, over the mountains and beyond. But his mysterious blue-eyed companion is keeping secrets, and Dean has a few of his own. Will he be able to let go of his fear before they come to the Castle on a Cloud?
Chili Peppers by justanothersong(professors!AU)
Dr. Winchester hears an off hand comment from one of his students and find himself browsing a website dedicated to rating university professors. He's not surprised by his rating -- but is a little miffed to see the department chair has an even better one. Clearly, something needs to be done about this.
Chasing Cars by ratherbehere(college!AU)
After an awkward accidental encounter at a local strip club, Castiel discovers his college roommate, Dean, has a secret career as a stripper, and their relationship begins to change and a bond begins to form. They face the joys and challenges of life together and discover along the way how deeply they've come to care for each other.
Redemption Roadby spnredemption (canon!verse)
Given that this is a huge series, and each part has a different summary, I’ll summarize it as a post season 6 fic in which Team Free Will try to save the world.
A Little Patience by riseofthefallenone (modern setting AU with elements of High School, College and Coffee shop)
The first part summary: It sometimes feels a little wrong thinking debauched things about a guy who could very well be one of Sammy’s teachers. But then those wrong feelings go up in smoke when the downright sinful fantasies kick in just from thinking the word ‘teacher’. Those are always pretty darn amazing and Dean has a very vivid imagination.
The second part is basically Cas’ POV of the story.
Casturbatus Interruptus by smallhorizons (canon!verse)
post-9.01, in a slight AU wherein Cas comes to live with the Winchesters at the Bunker. Written before 9.03. Crossposting from Tumblr. Written for a prompt from hightopsandsharpies: "Okay, so Cas is a virgin, and has no idea what pleasure is and Dean decides to show him and Cas gets all cuddly and needy afterwards."
Dean walks in on Cas masturbating. He’s doing it all wrong, but when you’re a bazillion-year-old virgin, that’s to be expected. Dean decides to lend him a hand in a totally platonic, non-romantic way. Things get a little out of control.
Not Part of the Planby Annie D (scaramouche) (Royalty and Human AU, this one is hard to describe. Better read all the tags)
Castiel's spent most of his adult life keeping his head down and staying out of trouble. This is a deliberate choice on his part, because as a cousin of the King, he'd rather stay unimportant and forgotten. This changes abruptly when King Michael decides that he has a better use for Castiel: he is to be wed to a noble member of the neighboring Republic, as part of an agreement between their two nations.
Castiel knows he has to obey, but that doesn't mean he won't rebel in what small ways he can. Unexpectedly, his actions end up having far-reaching consequences.
To Raise A Kingby riseofthefallenone (medieval!AU)
This must be some kind of horrible joke at Castiel’s expense. Is he truly expected to protect a King? One who has been their enemy for as long as he can remember? He is much more suited to being a part of the army, or at the very least someone who helps to train the knights. That would be far more preferred than having to watch over the King. It means Castiel would get to keep fighting – and that’s the only way he knows to give meaning to his life.
Painted Angelsby WinJennster (modern!AU with writer!cas and artist!dean)
Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing.Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.
Angel's Wildby LimonadeGaby, riseofthefallenone (Wing fic!AU)
But that’s the whole reason he’s here, isn’t it? He’s not out here hunting Humans. He’s not even hunting deer, or bears, or anything else that featured in Bambi. He’s out here, freezing his nuts off every night, because he’s hunting Angels.
Sometimes Dean wishes that Angels were like how they’re described in the Bible. How people from time too old for him to care much about thought Angels were messengers and warriors of God, protectors of Humans. He knows that how they’re really described in the Bible is actually pretty terrifying, but at least they were told by God that they’re supposed to love Humans, right?
That’s a thousand times better than what Angels really turned out to be.
The Pillow Verse byAnythingtoasted, clockworkrobots, inplayruns, nyoka, outpastthemoat, thepillowverse (canon!verse)
The Pillow ‘Verse was a tumblr-based Dean/Castiel round-robin fanfiction challenge that took place over Supernatural’s 2013 summer hiatus.
A canon-based domestic!fic shared universe set in the Men of Letter’s bunker, The Pillow ‘Verse follows Dean, Castiel, Sam, and their small cohort of rabble-rousers through stories of love, nest building, family, and healing following the 8x23 Supernatural finale Sacrifice.
This is a story of the things that happen after the fall.
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spider verse coffee shop au??
Anon im sorry i wanted to draw the coffeeshop au but ive been so tired lately so imma just overshare about what goes down bc this au is just (thick tombstone voice) : “everybody’s traumatized bitch lets get you a latte”
• this au is incredibly villain centric bc uhhhhh all i do is think about villains
• its also very aaron davis centric bc time to project my anxiety onto a grown ass man babey!!
• anyway this takes place in a normal world where there’s no superheros or avengers or what have you, everyone’s super average
• like i said this is more or less aaron centric and focuses on him readjusting to society and making connections with other people, and just healing in general. Aaron’s whole deal is that he was wrongfully arrested for defending himself against an off duty cop who was harassing him and ended up with a 10 year sentence (but was let off a year earlier for good behaviour). He’s got a lot of guilt bc of this if only for the fact that he feels like he let down his brother and Miles (who was a small lad at the time).
• Fun Fact! Jefferson was the one that picked up Aaron at the jail when he served out his sentence! The ride back to brooklyn was awkward! but also jefferson loves his brother and even tho they’ve had their falling outs he never once stopped believing that his brother was innocent. Jefferson also made sure to pull some strings and ended up getting an apartment set up for Aaron (even though jefferson and rio were 100% down to open their home to him for as long as it took him to get back onto his feet but of course aaron denied them bc he didnt want to be a burden) Aaron’s grateful but he tends to avoid his own family…a lot….
• it’s ridiculously hard to find a job bc nobody wants to hire an ex convict no matter the circumstances and Aaron’s legitimately about to lose hope when he spots an expensive looking shop nestled in between an old arcade and a knick knack shop
• ‘Vanessa’s Cafe’ is neatly printed above the door in fancy gold lettering. it’s obvious that the owner has serious cash bc the shop looks too damn good and too well maintained to be a regular mom and pop shop. there’s a help wanted sign hastily scribbled on a piece of notebook paper in the middle of the window which is odd since it off sets the professional vibe of the place. But hey it’s worth a shot so Aaron walks in ready to be denied another job only to find the weirdest looking group of people he’s ever seen.
• The first guy that catches his attention is the very large albino man who looks way too stressed out and manic to be working in a coffeeshop, but the job must pay well because he’s very well dressed.
• “Liv, for fuck’s sake! Clean your goddamn station!” he’s whisper shouting? Is that even a thing? oh look at that he’s got a full set of razor sharp teeth. huh. that’s a hell of an aesthetic he’s going for.
• The lady in question isn’t even giving him the time of day, just enthralled by her phone with a smile that looks too peaceful given what’s happening around her. She’s got wild hair tied up messily in a knitted bandana, weird glasses (custom made??) and when she glances up at aaron, her eyes widen in interest like he’s some anomaly to be cracked open. aaron looks anywhere that isnt the wild eyed lady at the counter.
• Theres another big guy that’s hanging around the back, heavily tattooed and lifting stacks of heavy boxes. Aaron takes notice of his prosthetic hand and the tattoo guy takes notice of Aaron.
• “Lonnie. Customer.” The Tattoo guy seems nonplussed about Aaron and walks into the back. aaron assumes that he’s offended him by staring at his prosthetic for longer than necessary which yeah….yeah he’s probably not happy about the staring.
• lonnie’s got a bad case of resting bitch face so he’s glaring at aaron without actually glaring and he’s just rough around ALL the edges so his tones got that nice bite to it as he shouts from across the counter (which is not something you do to a customer but it’s lonnie…..) "Hey! Ya looking for a job, skinny jeans?!“
• Aaron blanches at the idea of working with these people but he is absolutely desperate for a job at this point.
•"Yeah. I just got out of-”
•"Great, you’re hired! We’re speed running this whole introduction thing, string bean.“
•and that’s all i got other than like small details like:
•Peter B Parker owns a ”“’'cafe”“” across from Vanessa’s and its literally just a burger joint that h a p p e n s to sell coffee and Parker will fight you if you call his place a deli ahdhdj
•Liv and May are dating (big shock) and peter b has to constantly deal with seeing his competition over at his place all the time and it’s yikes
• Tombstone and Noir will 100% throw hands on contact. They don’t hate each other tho??? Its weird they just like to fight. gives them a chance to work on their banter i guess. Noir works the coffee machine at Peter’s “'cafe”’ so i guess he’s the “”barista”” of the joint but he drinks the coffee more than the customers do
• Miles and the rest of the spider kids “”“”“"intern”“”“” at the cafe which basically translates to free labor
• spider ham works there but he isnt a pig he’s just john mulaney. i know its weird. nobody actually sees him tho so he’s a complete mystery as to what he looks like so he could be john mulaney you never know. the only person who’s seen him is noir and that’s only bc they’re a thing???
•oh speaking of everyone being gay: everyone’s gay
• Lonnie and Gargan (tombstone and scorpion) are 100% dating but everyone legitimately thinks that the both of them are straight old men despite the fact that they live together, go to work together, hang out afterwards together, and they’re just always together
• lonnie’s daughter (janice) visits every other week (def the product of a divorce he went through years ago) she’s alright with gargan but she’s very distant towards her dad and def has that teen angst phase that she’s going through
• (lonnie can and will talk to you for hours about how much he loves and supports his daughter despite the fact that their relationship is very estranged)
• you can find janice hanging out with the cute blond punk girl at that weird burger/coffee place across the street
• oh gargan’s big and strong despite the fact that he’s missing three limbs, liv works in robotics on the side and constantly tweaks and repairs his prosthetics when they start acting up which leads to them having this weird friendship where they both borrow each other when they need something and dont really expect anything in return (like gargan’s good for getting her supplies and doing heavy lifting when she needs it and liv’s always down to run check ups on gargan)
• oh yeah liv used to be a scientist but immediately lost her license and phd when she started going above some board members heads to buy less than legal things through super illegal sources
.• that’s another thing, kingpin tends to just hire ex cons and criminals to work in his cafe just bc he believes that a person willing to work hard to better themselves deserves a chance to re enter society again.
• like they’ve all done bad things but still ended up with a job at the cafe. aaron fought a cop, liv did some shady deals for an illegal experiment, gargan used to run a drug ring years ago due to personal reasons but once he was free from jail he never dealt with the stuff again, and lonnie killed a dude (allegedly. he never went to jail bc they couldn’t prove anything but hey word spread around quick and everyone knew not to go anywhere near this guy)
• kingpin is in this au btw he’s just……a very depressed man who’s still grieving over his wife and son dying in a car accident
.• he rarely shows up to run the cafe bc its too much for him being in the place that his wife loved and built up from the ground. he used to be the manager after she died but couldn’t handle it and mostly left lonnie to take care of it
• which holy fuck lonnie is trying his best to keep this cafe alive and well and there’s only two other people working there so like its enough to have him scrambling all over the place trying to find more help (thanks aaron)
•miles doesn’t know aaron’s working at the cafe across the street and aaron def wants it that way bc even tho he’s out of jail he hasn’t actually……visited miles yet….. it’s the shame that’s keeping aaron from reaching out to him which is….sad bc miles doesn’t care what happened he just wants his uncle back.
• oh oh one more thing RIPeter used to run the deli across the street but had to leave brooklyn to go volunteer at homeless shelters across the states indefinitely so theres no telling when he’ll be back, so he left the cafe under the guidance of pb parker (peter b parker voice: my cafe now)
•and uhhh thats all i got, like i said this au is just found family trope + the healing we all want + bad people getting redemption which is all the tropes that i love all compacted together in the most cliche au you can imagine!
#itsv#aaron davis#the prowler#liv octavius#doctor octopus#lonnie lincoln#mac gargan#hi i work at a starbucks and it's hell so this is how i cope babey!!#spider verse#spiderman#the life and times of a robot prince
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Unintentional love (Elu fake dating AU) Ch. 5 - Not so brave
Chapter 5 is up, it was an absolute bitch to write, but I actually think it turned out pretty good. I appreciate all the messages, feedback and comments I get, and it literally keeps me going and gives me motivation, so please feel free to send me some of that!
Find it on AO3 here.
The next two days went by too slow. It was like time had decided to be a bitch and drag everything out as much as possible. Even the nights were slow. Sleeping was hard and all Lucas could do was stare at the ceiling or look through Instagram and Facebook for the hundredth time, going through the same boring posts from the same boring people.
All he wanted to do was talk to Eliott. There was something about the boy, who sat alone at the library drawing raccoons like an actual dork, that made Lucas’ heart flutter. He wasn’t like anyone he’d ever met. He was sweet and beautiful but also the but also the cheekiest guy Lucas had ever met. Just thinking of their conversations and their bantering back and forth, made him blush and bury his face in the covers.
Fuck, when did he get so whipped for a guy he barely knew, and definitely didn’t stand a chance with?
It was just past 1am Tuesday night when he heard his phone buzz.
@curtisno1: Hey, remember me?
To be honest, Lucas didn’t remember much from Friday, but he remembered the basics. He’d screwed up by getting drunk and accidentally telling some stranger, Curtis, that his relationship with Eliott was fake. Lucas sighed as he typed in a reply.
@lucallemant: How could I forget, you almost poisoned me with all those shots!
If Lucas was being honest, he found it pretty weird that this guy was texting him in the middle of the night. But still, he was curious. As far as he remembered, the guy knew Idris and apparently Eliott as well. So what if Lucas wanted to get some intel on Eliott, after all, he was his pretend boyfriend, right?
@curtisno1: Haha, sorry about that, how was I supposed to know you’re such a lightweight?
Damn this guy had no chill huh? Lucas puffed, offended. He definitely wasn’t a lightweight, but beer, weed and shots were bound to be a really shitty combination, right?
@lucallemant: Rude..
@curtisno1: Sorry haha. So you’re still up for that date you promised me?
Shit, it all came back now. He’d said yes to a date with this guy. But to be fair, Lucas had been pretty sure that the guy was just fucking around, he hadn’t actually thought that he would follow up. What was he supposed to say now? He couldn’t just go on a date with some random guy, when everyone thought he was dating Eliott. Curtis was cute and all but, Lucas had no real interest in going out with him. He was too busy dreaming about Eliott twenty-four-seven.
@lucallemant: Uhm, not sure, I mean everyone thinks I’m dating Eliott, so that would be pretty weird, you know?
Smooth Lucas, see? This way, he wasn’t flat out rejecting Curtis, and going back on their deal, but he was still finding a way to get out of it. He could be really smart when he wanted to. He almost patted himself on the shoulder, when his phone buzzed again.
@curtisno1: That’s cool, I’ll just wait until your little show is over, I don’t mind! Just let me know, yeah?
Fuck, okay so maybe he wasn’t as smooth as he’d thought he was. And what was he supposed to answer, other than..
@lucallemant: Sure
__
“What are you guys doing later, wanna hang out and play some FIFA?” Yann asked, shoveling an obscure looking rice dish into his mouth.
It was finally Wednesday, and Lucas had been a shell of himself all day. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so excited, yet nervous, at the same time. He and Eliott had agreed to meet up at Eliott’s place around 4pm, giving Lucas time to go home and take a shower after school.
“I can’t today, I’m hanging out with Eliott” he said, poking his rice dish. The cafeteria food had always grossed him out. They always mixed the weirdest ingredients. Today’s dish was actually rice with pear, mint and cinnamon. Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to mix rice and cinnamon unless they were making rice pudding?
“Really?!” Arthur beamed, looking at Lucas like a proud mother hen. “You could invite him as well? It would give us a chance to get to know him better, we didn’t talk that much on Friday” he continued, looking expectantly at Lucas.
Lucas looked over at Yann and Basile, who were both nodding their heads like crazy. Even though Lucas had been looking forward to spending time alone with Eliott, he couldn’t get himself to say no to them, he already felt terrible for lying, so his conscience got the better of him.
“Yeah sure, I’ll ask him” he said, trying not to sound as disappointed as he felt, while pulling out his phone.
Lucas: Hey, is it cool if we hang out with the boys later instead of going to yours? They’re really keen on getting to know you some more.
Eliott: Oh, yeah sure! Just text me the time and place.
Lucas sighed as he put his phone back in his pocket “he’s game. We’ll be there”.
“Cool” Yann exclaimed “meet up at my place at 4pm?”
“Sure” he answered, grabbing his tray, with his untouched lunch “see you then”.
__
“Hey Eliott, Lucas never told us when you guys met” Arthur said out of the blue, looking curiously at both of them.
They’d arrived at Yann’s half an hour ago, playing video games and chatting, Eliott immediately getting comfortable with the guys, joking and talking, while collectively kicking their asses in FIFA, which made Lucas crack a secret smile. Yann was probably the worst loser Lucas knew, but he didn’t seem to mind that much when he was losing to Eliott. The Eliott effect, Lucas thought for the second time this week.
He’d retrieved himself to the corner, mainly observing the guys and Eliott interacting, not having exchanged more than a quick greeting with him, which the boys hadn’t seemed to notice.
Shit, Lucas hadn’t thought of this. What was their cover story? He couldn’t tell them that they’d met at the foyer meeting, because as far as he remembered, he’d told that guys that he’d seen him a few times before that Friday. But Lucas didn’t have time to start spiraling and panicking for long, because Eliott answered quickly, without hesitation.
“I actually saw Lucas on the very first day of school” he said, locking eyes with a shook Lucas “I just didn’t have the guts to speak to him before a while ago”.
Okay so Lucas had already established that Eliott was a pretty good actor, but this? This was just too fast, too well-thought out, to be a lie right? Could it be true that Eliott had seen him on his first day? If so, that must mean that he’d noticed Lucas, really noticed him. Just like Lucas had noticed Eliott at that foyer meeting.
His heart was racing, and he was pretty sure he was blushing down to his toes. The thought of Eliott seeing him on his first day, made him shiver. The belief that maybe, just maybe, Eliott had also felt what Lucas had felt when he first saw him, that undeniable attraction, unable to look away, made his heart race as well as scaring the shit out of him. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t get himself to look at Eliott’s. He was a coward, so what of it?
“Holy shit, really?” Arthur said, putting down his controller and focusing completely on Eliott now, “that’s so fucking romantic dude”.
Eliott shrugged, giving Arthur a shy smile.
“It’s what our Lulu deserves” Yann chimed in, looking fondly at Eliott, then Lucas, who was still looking anywhere but at Eliott.
“But Lucas, you didn’t see Eliott back then did you? You never mentioned anything?” Basile asked, looking utterly confused.
“No, I didn’t” Lucas muttered, scared that if attempted to say more, butterflies would start swarming from his stomach and out of his mouth.
“But I saw him.. I only saw him actually” Eliott finished, still not taking his eyes off Lucas, whose continuous blush hadn’t gone unnoticed.
“Putain, I hope I meet someone like you some day” Arthur said, looking absolutely in awe of Eliott.
Be brave, Lucas thought to himself as he forced his gaze to catch Eliott’s, and what he met almost gave him a heart attack. Eliott’s eyes had darkened, he was staring so intensely at Lucas, that he was scared he might disappear underneath his gaze. He wasn’t sure what his eyes were trying to convey; lust, admiration, love?...
Okay he really needed to snap out of it, this wasn’t happening, Eliott was just making up some shit to help out Lucas, yet again, just like he had done at that bus stop. Eliott was quick on his feet, that’s all it was.
“Anyways, are you ready for me to kick your ass Arthur” Lucas said reaching for the controller, desperate to get away from Eliott’s haunting gaze.
____
“Okay Eliott, hear me out here” Basile said suddenly, forcing Eliott out of his staring competition with Lucas. It was like they had a silent agreement to stare at each other all night, without ever talking. Not that they got the chance, with the boys constantly asking him personal questions from what his favorite color was (which was blue, Lucas noted) to what kind of hair products he used.
They’d been eating pizza and playing videogames for almost two hours now. Lucas didn’t understand how none of them seemed to get tired of playing the same game over and over again, they were all, Eliott included, like fucking machines, taking turns at playing, only stopping to take a bite of their slices.
“Mhm” Eliott said absently, still locking eyes with Lucas.
“What if, I told people that you and I used to date? Like, that we got real freaky, you know? That would score me so many points with the ladies, I’m fucking sure of it” Basile continued, looking very pleased with his newly found idea.
Lucas snapped his head up. That sounded dangerously close to what he was currently doing, lying about being with Eliott.
“Don’t be a fucking dumbass Basile, just each your pizza and shut up” he said, trying to end this conversation before Basile began escalating, as he usually did when he had a dumb idea.
Eliott chuckled as he took another bite of his pizza, finally tearing his eyes away from Lucas, “you know I’d totally let you man, but then you’d have to explain how Lucas stole your ex-boyfriend, and I think it would get pretty messy, yeah?”
“Shit you’re right, I didn’t think of that. You’re so smart man” he replied, patting Eliott on the head as if he was a small child.
“Basile stop touching his fucking hair with your greasy fingers” Lucas all but yelled at Basile, getting riled up. This wasn’t how this night was supposed to go. He was supposed to be alone with Eliott, he was supposed to be the one asking him what his favorite colour was.
Lucas couldn’t wait to leave. Being in Yann’s apartment with his best friends and his fake boyfriend was proving to be too much for him. One minute he wanted to come clean and tell the guys that it was all fake and how sorry he was, the next he wanted to kiss Eliott, you know, just to make it more believable, nothing else.
Also he desperately needed to go home and process what Eliott had said earlier, his last two brain cells were really working on overdrive here.
“Geez, calm down pissy pants. I won’t steal your man, don’t worry” Basile cried out, pulling his hand away from Eliott, who didn’t seem to mind, but was now watching Lucas closely, having noticed the shift in Lucas’ mood. Eliott wasn’t the only one who’d noticed.
“As if that would ever happen Basile, keep dreaming” Yann said, trying to lighten the mood. “Hey Lucas, we’re out of beers, maybe you and Eliott could go down to the supermarket to buy some?” he said, trying, and succeeding in being a fucking amazing friend as usual. He must have thought that Lucas was on edge because he wanted to be alone with Eliott, which, yeah he did, but that wasn’t the only reason.
“Oh could you get me one of those dark root beers, please” Arthur looked at Lucas with his adorable puppy eyes, which he knew Lucas wouldn’t be able to resist.
“They’re so fucking expensive, why have you got to be so extra” Lucas said, as he got up, and winked at Arthur whom returned the wink with his signature smile, which meant he knew he’d already persuaded him.
___
As Eliott and Lucas walked towards the supermarket, Lucas finally said “so the guys seem to like you.. a lot”, trying not to sound bitter.
He was really happy that Eliott got along with the guys, they were practically like family to him. But he didn’t quite know how to deal with it when they inevitably found out the truth, that not only Lucas, but Eliott as well, had been lying to them. It would break their hearts; they had really taken a liking to Eliott.
“Yeah they’re really great” Eliott said, not sounding all that excited as he pulled a leaf from a near-by bush and began to tear it apart, scattering the pieces on the ground.
“I think they’re having fun, how about you?” Lucas continued, not sure of what to say.
“Yeah it’s fine” Eliott answered, focusing very hard on the leaf in his hand.
“You don’t like the boys?” Lucas asked nervously. Was he starting to have second thoughts about their arrangement? Was the lying getting to him as well? Lucas was spiraling again, but not for long, as Eliott reigned him back in.
“No no! It’s not that! They’re great” he answered frantically.
“Then what?”
“Honestly?” he asked, looking at Lucas for the first time since they’d left the apartment.
“Yeah, honestly”
“I was uh- I was just.. you know- looking forward to spending time with you… alone” he trailed off, not leaving Lucas’ gaze.
Lucas was pretty sure his heart had stopped beating a while ago, and he had died and gone to heaven. Eliott wanting to spend time with him alone? Sounded fake, but okay.
Was that really why he’d been so weird with Lucas all day? Because he was disappointed that they weren’t spending time alone? Lucas felt like tap dancing, singing and burying himself underground at the same time, all of his emotions rushing to the surface, threatening to overflow. Not knowing what to say, scared that he might say or do something he’d regret if he kept looking at Eliott, he turned around on his heels and started walking in the other direction.
“Where are you going?” Eliott asked confused “the supermarket is that way” he said pointing at the opposite direction of where Lucas was heading.
“I know where the supermarket is” he said rolling his eyes “but we’re not going there” a smile forming on his lips.
Eliott’s lips curled into a smile as he started following Lucas.
After walking for fifteen minutes they arrived at a park. Lucas sat down on one of the swings, gesturing Eliott to sit down on the other one. He knew this park like the back of his hand. How many times had he sat on this exact swing? There was no use in trying to count it, it had been his refugee for years, as long as he could remember.
“This is my favorite place in the city you know?” Lucas said, a smile forming on his lips.
“Yeah?” the taller one answered, willing Lucas to continue.
“Yeah.. I used to come here when I was younger. Whenever my parents were arguing, which was a lot towards the end, I’d come here, sit on this swing and imagine what the Lucas’ in parallel universes were doing in that exact moment. I’d make up so many stories in my head”. He started blushing. He’d never told anyone that before, he’d never brought anyone to this place, his safe place, before. But something about Eliott, his honesty and genuineness made Lucas want to share this place, share a piece of himself with him.
“Parallel universes?” Eliott asked, lifting his eyebrow with a coy smile.
“Yeah” Lucas said, a blush beginning to spread “whenever I have a choice to make, I always imagine that the other Lucas’ in parallel universes made other choices” he continues, looking at Eliott, who nods as an encouragement for Lucas to proceed.
“That way, I get less anxious of whether or not I’ve made the right choice, because even if I didn’t make the right choice, there are other Lucas’ that did.”
They sat in silence for what might have been seconds, minutes or hours, Lucas wasn’t quite sure. Eliott looked lost deep in thought, and it felt like Lucas was intruding on a very private moment, when he finally said “what do you think?” desperate to know what Eliott thought of his theory.
The parallel universes had been a part of Lucas’ life ever since he could remember, he never shared it with anyone, afraid they might laugh or brush it off, but something about the earnesty of Eliott made him say things he’d never thought he’d share with anyone.
“So, do you think that there are any of the Lucas’ and Eliotts in the parallel universe, that are in a real relationship right now?” Eliott asked with a curious look, as if he hadn’t just stopped Lucas’ heart mid-sentence.
“I-uhm.. uh- maybe” Lucas stammered, shook by Eliott’s blunt question. Eliott chuckled at Lucas obvious discomfort, as he got up and positioned behind him, gently nudging the swing Lucas was sat on.
Lucas had probably sat in this exact spot a hundred times. Sometimes he would just sit there for hours, not moving, other times he’d swing a little bit and try to enjoy it. But in all honestly he felt more alone when he was actually swinging, than when he just sat there, not moving. There was something too miserable about swinging on your own in an empty park.
Eliott started to pick up the pace and was now full on pushing Lucas’ swing, making him go higher and higher, the wind catching his hair, and a giant smile forming on his lips. It felt so intimate.. So natural. Lucas started laughing for real now, as Eliott was pushing him, making the swing go really high “I hope you’re not afraid of heights” the taller one almost yelled, the laugh evident in his voice.
Lucas turned his head and yelled back, mid-air, “Me afraid? Pas peur”. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so alive, so free. No worries, no nothing, just the wind in his hair and Eliott, it was absolute bliss.
Finally, Eliott grabbed the handles of the swing and brought it to a holt, still hovering over Lucas, pressing his chest to the shorter boy’s back.
“Pas peur?” Eliott whispered, he was so close to Lucas right now. He was painfully aware of Eliott’s heartbeat, thudding on his back, and it felt like his entire body was about to catch fire.
“Pas peur” Lucas whispered, closing his eyes, glad that Eliott couldn’t see his face.
Eliott chuckled, still holding the handles, still standing behind Lucas. Even though Lucas couldn’t actually see Eliott’s face, his smile had burned itself into his memory, he imagined what Eliott looked like right now, beautiful as always, he thought to himself.
Pas peur, Lucas thought to himself as he mustered up the courage to ask the question he’d been dying to ask all night.
“Did you mean what you said earlier” he finally asked nervously, fiddling with the sleeve of his jacket, thanking the Gods that he had his back to Eliott.
“What did I say?” Eliott answered, well-aware of what Lucas was talking about, but unable to stop himself from torturing Lucas a little bit.
“About uhm- seeing me.. on the first day?” he could still feel Eliott’s presence behind him and instead of making his head spin as it had been doing up until now, it made him feel weirdly grounded, like his simple presence and touch was all it took for Lucas to be brave.
“You don’t get it, do you Lucas?” Eliott sighed, the frustration in his voice painfully evident.
“Get what?” he asked genuinely puzzled.
Eliott didn’t answer him right away. He slowly started pulling Lucas closer by the handles of the swing, Lucas hadn’t thought it was possible to get closer than they already were. Suddenly he felt the taller boy’s chin resting on top of his head. Lucas was pretty sure that if Eliott hadn’t been standing behind him, he’d have fallen off the swing, given that his entire body felt like jell-o at the moment. He could feel the boy’s breath on his head, causing his hair to move slightly every time Eliott exhaled.
But he was brave, Eliott made him brave. So he slowly, but surely tipped his head backwards until it was resting on Eliott’s chest. To any outsider they must have looked like two people madly in love. He felt Eliott’s body starting to relax, digging his chin deeper into Lucas’ scalp. Their bodies were melting together, they weren’t Eliott and Lucas anymore, they were one.
Lucas could feel Eliott’s heartbeat racing. He was glad that he wasn’t the only one whose heart had decided to say fuck it at just go rouge. The moment was so tender, like nothing Lucas had ever experienced before. For a moment, he let himself believe that his feelings, which he couldn’t deny anymore, were reciprocated. This thing with Eliott didn’t feel platonic anymore. This position they were in right now, wasn’t just two boys helping each other out, right? He couldn’t be imagining all of this could he? Gosh, his brain was going a hundred miles per hour, one thought replaced by a new one, every second, waiting for Eliott to say something.
“I don’t want-“ Eliott finally began, as he was interrupted by Lucas phone ringing. The volume was turned up so high that it startled both of them, making Lucas jump and crash his head up, smashing Eliott’s jaw shut. The sound was inhuman, and Lucas momentarily thought he’d actually fucking broken the boy’s jaw. He got up quickly and turned around, facing him.
“Shit, are you okay? Fuck I didn’t mean to do that” he said frantically, searching Eliott’s eyes for any indication of how badly he was injured. His head hurt a bit from the collision with Eliott’s chin, but he didn’t care.
Eliott simply stroked his chin a bit and grinned “it’s fine Lucas, I’m fine”, but by the looks of his face he wasn’t completely fine, Lucas thought.
“You should probably get that” he gestured towards the phone in Lucas’ pocket where the Peaky Blinders theme song, which he’d thought was a great idea to have as a ringtone at the time, was still playing. Now that song would forever be ruined for him, damn, thanks universe.
“Right” he muttered as he dug out his phone from his pocket.
“Dude where the fuck are you? It’s like Sahara here, we need fluids, and by fluids I mean beer” Basile was crying into the phone.
Fuck, Lucas had completely forgotten that they were supposed to go to the supermarket. He noticed that the sun was beginning to set. How long had they been at the park? It had only felt like minutes, but he was pretty sure it had been a lot longer than that, judging from Basile’s tone.
“Yeah uhm, the supermarket next to Yann was closed so we had to go to the next one” he said, surprised by his ability to make that up on the spot, “we’ll be back in twenty minutes” he finished as he hung up and looked up at Eliott, who was still standing in the same spot as before.
“So.. uh- we should- uhm, we should probably go” Lucas said unwillingly, hoping that his disappointment wasn’t too evident.
“Right” Eliott said, a tiny smile playing on his lips, as he started walking, motioning for Lucas to join him.
Lucas was itching to hear what Eliott had been about to say before they were interrupted by Basile, but the moment had passed, and he wasn’t that brave, that he was going to ask again. Pas peur my ass, he thought as he followed Eliott out of the park.
#elu fic#elu#skam france#skamfr#eliott demaury#lucas lallemant#lucas x eliott#eliott x lucas#fanfic#unintentional love#elu fake dating
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Indecent Proposal (1993)
Date watched: 12 October 2019
Continuing with the 2019 Demi-athon. This is a movie I haven't seen since the 90s. I'm pretty sure the one and only time I watched it was on TV one night with my mum, and I remember being bummed out about it at the time. I also distinctly remembered a sex scene between Demi Moore and Robert Redford that I must have imagined, because there's no sex scene between them in this movie.
I'm also going to preface this by saying that I thought literally every single character in this movie was an asshole. If this was r/AmItheAsshole? and it was any one of them asking the question, the answer to all of them would've been yes. You're the asshole.
Plot:
Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore are a stupidly happy, ridiculously in love, super supportive couple who are trying to get their lives on track. I would say they are late 20s/early 30s and they have been together since high school. He's an architect and she's a real estate agent. She's also growing out her hair in this movie, so she has a cute little bob which looks great.
They want to build their dream house, so they buy a block of land on the beach in Santa Monica and mortgage the shit out of it. They're halfway through building when there's a recession, he loses his job and now they don't have money to complete the build, and they're about to lose the land and possibly their own house altogether.
So he did what anyone in that situation would do, which was to suggest they go to Vegas and win all the money. She goes along with it because she supports him no matter what.
It's at this point that I would like to discuss her handbag, because I've never seen anything like it. I will try to find a picture, but basically it's a slouchy backpack, and instead of the pack being at the back, there are two packs on either side of her hips. So it has two armholes that she puts her arms through, and then the purse part is at her hips, and it's all connected as one big bag structure. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen, and I have to imagine that it would be super easy for pickpockets to steal your shit out of.
I found a picture!
Is that not the weirdest thing ever?
Anyway, back to the plot of the movie. On their first day in Vegas they win like $25,000.00 and she meets Robert Redford in a fancy shop, where he offers to buy her a black dress. She says no because she can't be bought (spoiler alert, she totally CAN be bought). They decide to go back the next day to double their money and of course they lose it all, completely.
It's at that point that Robert Redford meets up with them and they get to talking, he upgrades their suite and buys her the dress, and they're like, wow, this super rich dude is paying attention to us, that's really weird. He then invites them to this fancy rich person party and she wears the dress (and looks incredible).
At the party, over pool, he makes the offer – one million dollars for a night with Demi. They both laugh it off, but he's serious, and then they're like, "Well, we could really use the money."
So here's the thing – they both talk it out, they agree that it's one night, it's just sex (they've both slept with other people as well, so it's not like they've only ever been with each other), and she was willing to do it for them so they could buy their block of land and finish building their house, and get themselves out of debt.
Woody is fine with it, and she goes off to do the deed with Robert Redford, and then Oliver Platt is like, "Fuck, you're a stronger man than I am, what if he runs off with her, what if they fall in love," and instills a lot of doubt in Woody, and so he tries to stop it from happening but it's too late.
And at this point I'm going to say that I think what Robert Redford has done is really, really fucking terrible and gross and he should be ashamed of himself. To dangle something like that in front of them, which then throws their lives into chaos and almost leads them to divorce, and then to act totally blameless about it, is total rich person bullshit. He's a fucking sociopath. He wanted to fuck Demi Moore, he knew they were in debt and so he came up with a way to get her to do what he wanted her to do. It's gross. He's gross.
So she goes off him with Robert Redford to his boat, they do the deed and in the morning she's returned to Woody, who is just a mess at this point. And then they go home and try to pick up the pieces, but here's the other thing the prick has done – he's bought their block of land in Santa Monica, because they were late on the payment.
Again, the reason they agreed to do this in the first place was to save that block of land. He knew that. He bought it anyway, and acted like they did him a favour. He's a monster. He's an actual monster.
Now they've done it for nothing, they've got all of this money but not the block of land, and their marriage is in the pits. She moves out and starts dating Robert Redford (honestly, for all her talk about how she can't be bought – she's bought very, very fucking easily, let me tell you) and Woody just bums around feeling sorry for himself.
She files for divorce, planning to move in with Robert Redford, and then Woody turns up at this zoo animal auction they're at (for charity) being hosted by Billy Connolly (random!), and he bids a million dollars on a hippo because it means something to their relationship. And then he sits down with her and signs the papers, tells her he loves her but he's setting her free.
And she thankfully dumps Robert Redford and goes back to him. Robert Redford, in the one nice thing he does in this movie, actually forces her hand on that, by telling her that she's not the first woman he's made the offer to, even though that's a lie.
Because you know what, Robert Redford? Instead of testing people with a million dollars and treating them like pawns in your little billionaire game, you could actually stand to meet a woman the old-fashioned way (i.e. by not offering her money) and maybe try dating rather that just straight-up manipulation.
Honestly, these fucking people made me so mad. You can't even feel sorry for Woody Harrelson because he's the one who decided to gamble their fucking money away! Gambling is not a get rich quick scheme, you idiots! And Demi just cuts and runs when things get hard, they don't even try therapy – she just leaves. What the fucking fuck.
These people are assholes and they all deserve each other.
#indecent proposal#1993#movies#movie review#adrian lyne#demi moore#robert redford#woody harrelson#oliver platt#and literally nobody else#this movie sucks and everyone is terrible
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Same Signs: Marriage or Murder
Capricorn:
Marriage: You’re the perfect couple. The Prom King and Queen. Super ambitious couple, competitive, probably insta-famous. You really are the sign that can have it all and juggle it all. White picket fence amazingness.
Murder: Y’all can be some inconsiderate motherfuckers. If it doesn’t benefit you, you don’t want it. This can work the same for your partner. Both of you could neglect the relationship and assume it will hold. It won’t. Also, finance struggles are fucking HARD on Caps cause you are all about materials and having the best in life (however you define that).
Aquarius:
Marriage: I’m biased. We’re fucking fantastic. As a couple, you’re the weirdos at a party. You have adorable inside jokes and can go in depth about topics that literally NO ONE cares about. You’re goofballs, and can be ultimately authentic with one another. We also make phenomenal parents because we encourage originality.
Murder: Two things can sink an Aqua/Aqua coupling… our innate need to be one of a kind, and our extreme want of freedom. Aquarians LOVE being different. We thrive there. So if someone tries to top us, or be more original/steal our thunder- MOVE. GET OUT OF THE WAY. Aquarian wrath is rare and therefore strong af. Also if you want to take too much time away from each other, you could experience the severe isolation that only Aquas can feel.
Pisces:
Marriage: Pisces are dreamy and empathetic, so this is a vvvvvvv soft relationship. They can see beauty in such small things. Like, leaving tiny romantic notes around the house, reading Pride and Prejudice aloud to each other, lots of cuddling and soft blankets and clean smells. This couple 100% owns those ‘linen’ scented candles.
Murder: Pisces can be super self-destructive and pity seeking and clingy. They know good things when they see them, but they oftentimes have the mentality of ‘I don’t deserve this’ or ‘I don’t deserve better’ which is why they can find themselves exiting good situations or settling for mediocre situations when they could do better if they just tried. If things were bad, this would be the most depressing couple to be around cause odds are they’d stay together even if they were both fucking miserable because Pisces oftentimes can’t handle being alone.
Aries:
Marriage: This would be a fun af couple. They’re all about doing stuff… no sitting at home for these folks. They’re at wine tastings or a basketball game or a fucking drag show. If something is happening- they are THERE. The intellectual convos between the two will be top notch, and since Aries are proud and determined and strong, this couple could literally take on the world. They’re huge show offs if their significant other does something great. Expect lots of annoying #wcw #mcm posts that are actually hella genuine and pure. In my experience, they also have the best sense of humour, so laughter is gonna be guaranteed with a good Aries couple.
Murder: Don’t fuck over an Aries. Fucking don’t do it ever. Aries know the exact thing you hate most about yourself or a situation, and they will point it out in a fight. So Aries Vs. Aries? Cue the flames. This sign runs hot but is also surprisingly sensitive, and if you hurt them deeply, there isn’t forgiveness. SO this the perfect example of a sign that can find a fault, pin it down, and make their other Aries BLEED. It’s brutal. Also, for being so determined, they can be huge procrastinators, and if their priorites aren’t the same, this could spell murder for Aries.
Taurus:
Marriage: This couple has everything… and they definitely got it on sale. Taurus are really materialistic, but unlike Capricorns, they can never justify spending money on luxury items. So the Taurus’s home is so perfectly curated, but it’s definitely all from Home Goods. They are the ultimate supporter when things are positive… and HOLY SHIT will this be a positive couple. They’re upbeat about everything, including each other. They deal with pain and pleasure in a grounded way, and they’re really adorable when they get excited about something. A very ‘childish fun’ type of couple.
Murder: Hi. Welcome to the weirdest and stupidest fights you’ve ever heard of. Tauruses HAVE to be right. They’re often not. But THEY FUCKING HAVE TO BE. AND YOU MUST SEE THEIR SIDE. YOU MUST. So if two Tauruses disagree about something, good God just let them be. Call the cops, then let them be. Tauruses are just fucking children, so they’re going to fight like children. I’m talking silent treatment, “but she said it first!” kind of asshole fights. Also, they suck if things are negative. If you complain about anything, literally a Taurus will drop you so fast you’ll never see it coming.
Gemini
Marriage: This couple is all about communication, they’re fab with each other about it. Also, Gem/Gem couples are good because they can understand the unpredictability of the other. They’re broad-minded people, and they embrace differences while also being the magnetic cool kids. This is the couple that everyone wants to be friends with because they have the exclusive invites to insider events that they got from some co-worker in the elevator this morning. They’re bizarrely lucky, and also total gossips, which makes for a couple that is NOT for everyone, but actually works really well together.
Murder: These bitches cray. Like, clinically. They’ll do insane things that make no sense, and if their fellow Gem doesn’t approve then they better GTFO. They’re also very quick decision makers, unlike fellow airs Aquarius and Libra. If they don’t like you, you’re dead to them. They will drop you like yesterday’s shirt even if you do something mildly stupid or weird that they’re not a fan of. Like Aries, they can find your weaknesses and prey on them. They will waste NO TIME doing such.
Cancer
Marriage: These bitches sure know how to nurture. In their finest forms, Cancers are basically the physical embodiment of a nice knit blanket and a mug of warm tea. They’re very in touch with their feelings, so heart to hearts with this couple are the best. They will get to know you on a deep deep deep level, and be really trusted with that information. This will be a wonderfully romantic couple who eats takeout like 90% of the time.
Murder: Hello sensitivity. Cancers are the least rational and can get weird about THE WEIRDEST things. I knew a Cancer once who literally ranted for a half an hour because the dishes people were bringing to her Thanksgiving weren’t ‘traditional’ dishes. They were still bringing food… it just wasn’t the food she wanted despite her never saying anything like ‘hey, bring traditional food’. Cancers want you to be mind readers, so if you can’t do that, why tf are you here. They have high expectations of everyone, but ESPECIALLY of other cancers. They’re also clingy af, so even if this couple does break up, they’ll still text flirt for like the next six months. Unhealthy.
Leo
Marriage: This couple is probably famous. They’re HUGE on big, romantic efforts. They want their marriage proposal to go viral on YouTube. They’re also big on events in general… anywhere where they can be seen and show each other off is good. A+ couple to bring to boring work functions… as no doubt this pairing is charming af.
Murder: Holy arrogance. While Leo’s are not necessarily considered clingy, if you don’t show them the attention they believe they deserve, they’ll drop you like a hot potato. With two Leo’s vying for attention in a relationship, SOMETHING’s got to give SOMETIME. Also, they are a jealous sign, so god forbid one of them flirts with someone else at a bar. Fists will be thrown. These are some needy motherfuckers. Also, if a Leo couple is fighting, call the local news crews. Something is GOING to go down. It might be arson, it might be an impromptu theatre performance. Who tf knows.
Virgo
Marriage: The cleanest house ever. Like wtf they keep this place organized. They also dress in matching outfits sometimes and make it weird for everyone else. Virgos can be so analytical that they’ll see something and be like, “Is this what the normal people do?” and just go for it. Slave to trends for sure. This is the ‘old people’ couple out of your friends. They catch up on the latest netflix show and then are in bed by 10pm. You have to plan things with them AT LEAST three months in advance because they are HORRIFIC at texting back. They’re adorable and a little robotic which is just fine for them.
Murder: JUDGE CENTRAL. They’re not always known for it- but Virgos can be hella judgemental. Especially of other Virgos, because they expect them to be better. Virgos expect the top effort, always, and so falling below that line can lead to fights. They’re super goal orientated, and so if they don’t meet those goals, or their Virgo partner doesn’t, then it is certainly game over.
Libra
Marriage: Oh hello there romance! This couple wants their love life to be an actual Nicholas Sparks movie. They both want to be loved more than anything on this planet, so fellow Libras are great for fulfilling that need. They’re soft and lovey and really exceptional cuddlers. This couple are also great at settling arguments. They can see both sides of things, and hate arguing, so disagreements are easily solved. A good libra/libra couple is like a good spa day, just really blissful and relaxing to be around. Refreshing.
Murder: Honestly? This couple couldn’t make a decision to save their goddamn lives. It’s why most won’t work out. Here’s the thing, if a Libra makes a decision, that’s it. They’ve already analysed every possibility. They’ve run the numbers. If someone is their end game, that’s it. Problem is, if the other Libra has not come to that conclusion, you’re gonna have a bad time. This is a stalemate of a couple… and if you’re happy where you are when you start the relationship, it could end well, but if either of you are still in development, it’s best not to even try.
Scorpio
Marriage: Best. Sex. Ever. Passionate af couple taking things to new levels. Trying crazy shit, cooking new recipes, watching porn to find new moves. You constantly stimulate each other both physically and mentally. Another ‘cool kid’ couple, but that’s because they give no shits. If they’re happy together, this couple won’t come down off their high.
Murder: These bastards are VINDICTIVE. If you hurt a Scorpio, you best hope they bury you close enough to the highway that the cops might be able to find your body. If a Scorpio betrays a Scorpio, welcome to the apocalypse. They expect a fellow Scorpio to KNOW that they’re insane, and to KNOW not to cross them. But Scorpios also love pushing people away. They are the ice of the water signs, and much like their totem of the scorpion, they will bite if you get too close. So two scorpions could easily drive each other out instead of just opening up.
Sagittarius
Marriage: This is the couple with their own travel blog. They live out of a fucking van and LOVE IT. They don’t like to be told they can’t do something, so like 90% of this relationship is just pushing each other to do something crazy. It’s basically one awesome game of truth or dare. They always have insane stories, and love throwing dinner parties just so they can sit you down and trap you into listening to said stories.
Murder: Bad Sags are BAD. This is because a hallmark personality trait of these guys is the fact that they believe everyone is dumber than they are. And also that Sags HATE being thought of as dumb. You see the dilemma. Sags are also the flakiest of the signs, so getting two Sags out on a date is gonna be hard enough. They’ll argue about EVERYTHING if they think you’re stupid, so dear Lord, get AWAY if you’re in a Sag/Sag relationship with a power struggle. Because unlike most signs who think they’re right, Sags are RARELY right.
Source: spookyscarysalamander
#aries#taurus#gemini#cancer#leo#virgo#libra#scorpio#sagittarius#capricorn#aquarius#pisces#zodiac sign#fun facts#horoscope#zodiac#astrology#facts#fact#weird#weird sign#zodiac signs#aries facts#taurus facts#gemini facts#cancer facts#leo facts#virgo facts#libra facts#scorpio facts
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Answer all 92?
Okay, sure
1:When did you lose your virginity? My 23 birthday
2: Rough sex or soft sex? I’m usually more of a softy
3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes? Not that I’ve found yet
4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex? Hmm... Probably this person’s bed who didn’t know we were staying there
5: Favourite sex position? This is probably weird... But the pancake
6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive? A mix of both
7: Have you ever had any one night stands? Just one (that I’d hoped wasn’t going to be one, but oh well I guess)
8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor? Bed normally, but also the floor if I’m trying to keep the noise down or couch if we’re feeling risky
9: Have you ever had sex in a public place? Yep, in the car at an overlook at 2 in the morning
10: Have you ever been caught masturbating? I think when I was a teenager haha
11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like? I don’t really have a preference, whatever the lady I’m in the situation with feels great in is just fine by me
12: How often do you have sex? Not regularly, it’s been a while
13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with? Oh absolutely, but I doubt it’ll happen
14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex? I’ve received a lot more than I’ve given, but the person I was most involved with wasn’t that into receiving, so that’s skewed the results
15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex? I couldn’t finish the last time I did it and I think she thought she was the problem, but it was definitely shit going on in my head
16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex? I’ve never experimented here, so I’m not really sure
17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex? Same as above
18: Are you into dressing up for sex? I’ve never tried it, but I wouldn’t necessarily be opposed
19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower? Hmm... I’ve done it in the shower, but want to try in the bath because there’d be a lot more stability
20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be? I’m not into revealing things like this, especially because they’re someone mutuals know and I wouldn’t want to out them like that
21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you? I haven’t, but I’m definitely interested
22: Do you/would you use sex toys? I don’t, but there are a few I’m intrigued by
23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture? Oh definitely, more of the former over the latter
24: Would you have sex with your best friend? It’s tough to determine a best friend at this point, so I’ll leave this one up in the air
25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink) Pee/take a shower, if we got hot and heavy enough
26: Something that will never fail to get you horny? Knowing someone’s mutually interested in getting intimately involved with me
27: Early morning sex or late night sex? Late night, I’m not usually an early morning person for anything haha
28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex? Hmm... Speaking sexually, it’s always a toss up between the booty and boobs
29: Favourite body part on the same sex? Ehh, n/a
30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find: I’ve stolen a few things, oops... And a few of them being inappropriate things from people I know, so I could never let those be found
31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you: N/a
32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?] I mean, I made out with the last person I got a bj from after that act if that counts, it was just kinda a saltier taste haha
33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: If you’re wanting a baby together; otherwise I’d rather stay safe and worry less about the baby thing or disease
34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience: Another thing I’ve not thought much about
35: Worst possible time to get horny: Probably a funeral
36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans? Oh absolutely, but it’s also super fun when you have to be super quiet in an apartment so as not to attract the attention of your roommates in the living room, and you try everything you can to get each other to make a noise anyway
37: How much fapping is too much fapping: Eh, when it hurts I guess
38: Best sexual complement you ever got: “You’re so deep, babe” I haven’t gotten much else besides that
39: Favorite foreplay activities: Teasing each other until we can’t stand it anymore
40: What do you wear to bed? Usually just underwear, sometimes nothing
41: When was the first time you masturbated: Summer of seventh grade
42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? Not currently
43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? Just the once a couple of months ago, if car sex counts
44: Have/would you ever have sex in public? Oh sure
45: Have/would you ever had a threesome? This one’s been answered
46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? This would kinda reveal something from question 30 and I don’t wanna
47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not? Lesbian sometimes, I’m more into solo things though
48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not) Oh definitely, it adds to the interest rather than just with intercourse
49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? Fine by me, it’s their body, not mine
50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity? If they’re comfortable with it, so am I
51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? Probably syrup, that sounds like a terrible idea
52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute? Hmm, probably a prostitute, it seems like you’d have more options for choosing who you’re involved with there
53: Do you watch porn? Oh of course
54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? Middle school was fucking awful, let’s just leave it at that
55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”? Not usually, but I had to when I broke my leg, it was tough getting underwear over that x-fix
56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? If was really thick, probably. I hate getting my own hair in my mouth
57: If you could give yourself head, would you? No I don’t think so
58: Booty or Boobs? Always a toss up, but if I’m really forced to choose: booty
59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) Not physically, but I said some inappropriate things to a couple of people outside of a relationship in high school and I’ll never be proud of that
60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do? Think of the usual answers to this and those’ll probably be mine haha
61: have you ever watched someone masturbate? Oh yes, in a couple of situations
62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate? Same as above
63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed? Yep, a few awkward times, and a few that played to each others advantage
64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate) Just my hand haha
65. What is your bra/penis size? Just shy of 6″ if you must know
66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus? N/a
67. When was the last time you masturbated? Earlier today
68. When was the last time you had sex? April 29
69. When was the last time you watched porn? A week or so ago
70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do? I haven’t and I’m not sure when I will if ever
71. Guys:Circumsized? I am
72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched? In a sexual situation, my thighs or knees oddly enough
73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched? The only one I have haha
74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation? N/a
75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr? Oh yes
76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream? A couple of weeks ago I think
77. Which wet dream was your favorite? The last one I had was definitely interesting, and it just happened to be about someone who doesn’t mind at all knowing (knew about this before talking to them about it haha)
78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with? Oh definitely, there are a few
79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? Bonnie Wright and Maisie Williams are the first who come to mind right now
80. Favorite sexual position? Already been answered
81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed? No
82. Are you into any BDSM? Not particularly, but I’ve never experimented
83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why? Oh absolutely, there are quite a few and it’d take a while to get into
84. Do you like dirty talk? It depends on the situation. Definitely over text, but I get too anxious in person usually
85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation? Quiet during both haha, much like my usual personality
86. Have you ever been interrupted during sex or masturbation? Who/what? Masturbation, yes. A roommate knocked on my door needing my attention
87. What kind of porn do you like to watch? Already been answered in a few above
88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them? Yeah...
89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them? A few times, but after we started having sex there wasn’t usually a night we weren’t together
90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them? Yes just the one, and we still talk occasionally because we’re friends, but we’re becoming more distant lately
91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial? I haven’t, but there’s someone who’s mutually interested at the moment but we’re too far apart currently to try anything
92. Ask whatever you want - N/a
#oops#asked and answered#inappropriate questions#anon#anon asks#anonymous#anonymous asks#this was fun
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47 for the Drabble challenge!!!!!! I thought it would be hilarious for any of the companions lol or even Maxson or desdemona
Thank you Cakenpiewhyohmy for this prompt, I decided to go with Elder Maxson, and it was so fun to write so I hope you enjoy!
“I thought it was a one-night-stand…and now we’re married…”
“So, let me get this straight, you had a ‘one-night stand’ and now you’re married?” It was always late at night around the campfire in Sanctuary that questions started to fly, and tonight Cait led the interrogation about my most recent heat of the moment marriage.
I knew it would be quite a shock for everyone to find out that I got married considering I was single last time they saw me, but if I’m honest I was still in quite a bit of shock myself. So, when I finally broke it to them over a ‘lovely’ home cooked Yao guai stew there were many different reactions. Nick just facepalmed, Cait started laughing wildly, Danes was going on about how it was very unsoldierlike, Curie was blushing madly, and of course Hancock patted me on the back smiled and laughed, he looked almost proud. I don’t really know what I was expecting reaction wise, but damn was this embarrassing. But if I thought that all the friendly teasing, prodding, and poking was bad enough then boy was I wrong, I knew they were just playing and I couldn’t really judge them with the bombshell I just dropped on them ‘pun intended’ but then they finally got to the question that I thought they would have realised to ask a lot earlier. “Wait...who did you actually marry?”
Silence. They all slowly turned to me with the weirdest looks I have ever seen, if I wasn’t super uncomfortable, I probably would have laughed. “Arthur Maxson” It came out a bit quieter and shakier than I would’ve liked, but they all still heard it. The silence continued, but the atmosphere had changed. I could feel their confused stares burning into my soul and I wished that they would say something anything just to stop this awkward stillness. “So you’re fucking Elder Maxson, damn girl!” Never mind I take it back the silence was better. Then chaos erupted, there was shouting, screaming, laughing, and way too many questions to process. I could understand their confusion Maxson and I had never really been on the best of terms, while I was still a member of the Brotherhood, I was a little too rouge for his liking, but I was the best at what I did and got shit done so he decided to put up with it.
I could tell that they wanted answers or maybe blood, sometimes they were hard to read. But nevertheless, I wanted to respond to all their questions, but I just couldn’t over all their noise. “SHUT UP!” and thankfully they did and once again they all turned to me expectedly. “Thank you” it was then that I decided the best way to calm everyone down was to just tell them the full story since even I didn’t know the answers to all their questions and some I just didn’t want to think about, especially the ones from Cait and Hancock.
Where to begin. It started after I just got back onboard the Prydwen from a mission saving some Scribes from a hoard of gunners they ran into. A generous dead if I do say so myself as I wasn’t ordered to go, and I put my life in danger to save them but for some reason Elder Maxson didn’t seem to see it this way. “What the hell do you think you’re doing! I specifically ordered you not to go!” I was pretty sure everybody in the Commonwealth could hear his booming voice as he scolded me for my ‘reckless’ actions, I could see people around me cower and look at me with pity as they feared the Elder as much as they admired him at times like this. But this is me we’re talking about and I’m not exactly like the others.
I simply gave him a deadpan look as I knew that I was right “I did what I thought was right and I saved their lives, so I believe what you’re trying to say is thank you.” If looks could kill. I honestly thought for a second either two things would happen he would have a heart attack from as he would put it the ‘utter disrespect and disobedience’ or he would pick me up and throw me off the Prydwen. Thankfully for me, neither of these things happened but maybe something worse did. “In my office now” his voice was low but laced with malice trying not to attract too much attention, but it was already too late for that.
Since he didn’t really have an office as such we were in his quarters. He started to pace back and forth, sweat from anger dripping down him, his face was scrunched and hands in fists, but I knew he wouldn’t do anything. “You disobeyed a direct order and put your own life and others at risk!” He was clearly very irritated, and I should’ve just apologised but I knew I couldn’t do that because I made the right call “I only ignored your order because I knew what should’ve been done” surprisingly this didn’t make the situation any better, but I wouldn’t back down. “You suddenly showing up could’ve scared them into pulling the tricker on our scribes, the only reason they’re alive is because of luck, you listen to what you’re are told!” this went on for some time but neither of us was going to budge on our beliefs rank be damned.
We must have been at it for at least half an hour and nothing has changed, until one point he got really close to me, trying to be intimidating I imagine “I should banish you from the Brotherhood all together” his stare never wavering “Do it then.” The kiss was so unexpected that I nearly fell backward but his armed wrapped around me would’ve stopped that. We were both furious with each other and full of rage and it just drove us even more and fuelled our passion. We spent the night together and as Cait put it whilst I was telling my story ‘Hate sex’ but we didn’t really hate each other it was quite the opposite.
However, we knew we had to keep it professional as he was the Elder and I a Paladin. We also couldn’t let our emotions get the better of us as we constantly have to put our life’s at risk and getting caught up in a romantic relationship would be too messy, so we decided to keep it as a one-night stand and that’s all I thought it was. It was for the best, or attest that’s what we kept telling ourselves, but we couldn’t deny the quick glances at each other across the room at lunch or during a briefing, or the electrifying little touches whenever we were near. It was too much to bear and my face was almost permanently red with blushes as everything he seemed to do was somehow much more attractive than before. The way he fought or commanded a room full of soldiers, it all made me weak.
This went on for what felt like eternity but was more likely only a couple of weeks, it was then that it all went downhill, I was on a mission with a large group of Brotherhood soldiers to launch an all-out attack on an infestation of Super Mutants, being as difficult as it was meant that there were already a dozen of risks, but we were able to hold them back enough and start to gain some ground when all hell broke loose! A giant legendary Deathclaw just appeared out of nowhere in the center of our attack and as luck would have it charged right for us. The troops were stunned, and we were unable to react quickly as it crashed through our defenses. My blood ran cold when the beast locked eyes with me I knew running was pointless so I just aimed and fired trying to do as much as I could, but the adrenaline was making it hard and the world around me became a blur, and that was the last thing I could remember. I swear that day I met a demon.
When I finally awoke all, I could see was white, and bright lights. Well, this is it I thought, I have finally made it to the Pearly gates, it could be worse I guess, I could be down there and not up here. “Should be fine, there will be a scar, but everything should heal with a bit of time and rest” Why the hell is Cade here with me, goddamit that doctor always gets on my nerves.
When my vision finally came back I could see that I was in the infirmary and not heaven. I tried to sit up but I all I could feel was sharp shooting pains across my arm. “Hey, lay back down you’re going to hurt yourself” Maxson? What was he doing here? As much as I wanted to I couldn’t find my words as my throat was so dry and everything was still a tad dizzy but having him hear was more comforting than I was willing to admit. It took a while for me to regain my strength as Maxson explained what happened, how I was attacked and only just saved. I laughed it off, I have a weird sense of humour, but the Elder looked gravely serious. “You could have died” I didn’t understand why he was acting so strange, he was looking away from me and it was like he was talking to himself.
“I know but I didn’t so that’s good right?” he didn’t respond he was trapped in his own little bubble and I could see his mind working a mile a minute and he even started to mutter to himself. He wasn’t acting normal. “You could have died…and I would never see you again” he looked in despair and it pained me to see, I thought the same thing too, but I never would have thought he would’ve felt the same. I was going to interrupt his continues mumbling to try and sort him out, but he beat me to it.
“Marry me”
He was looking me in the eye now, and I tried to figure out if he was joking but he wasn’t. So I did.
Thank you so much for reading, I really hoped you enjoyed, and I would really appreciate your feedback. What was your favorite part?
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Wynonna Earp 1x10 She Wouldn’t Be Gone
Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)
Click here for previous recaps!
Stray thoughts
1) Bobo really has a thing for Waverly, and it’s creepy as fuck…
Waverly claimed she couldn’t wait for Wynonna to shoot him in the face, but to be frank, I really hope Bobo’s final confrontation is with Waverly instead of Wynonna. There’s so much history between them, and I feel Waverly would gain both a sense of accomplishment and some closure if she’s the one to put him down. I wonder if that’s possible, though…
Also, what’s Bobo’s plan here? Other than piss the Earps off, of course.
2) Dolls put a bug at the bar, and this is the first thing they here…
Bobo: Those Earp girls may be bangable, but they're a boil on my scrotum.
…which makes me feel super creeped out about the fact that Bobo struck up a friendship with little Waverly. Pedophile much?
3) Who the fuck was this girl, what was that mark on her face, and why was she eaten by a wolf?!
So many questions!
4) Evidence that the revenants are bisexual. Boom.
WAVERLY: They're talking about Dolls, guys! They're speculating that your penis is small!
5) I’m glad Wynonna and co were as confused as I was about Bobo buying the bar. Their assumption is that he did it to protect the revenants, given that Wynonna is not likely to kill them off in front of the bar patrons. I guess? I mean, it’s not like Wynonna hasn’t shot revenants in front of humans before… And as BTVS has taught us, no matter how weird what people witness is, they will always try to find a logical explanation to put it off their minds. So, I think getting rid of Bobo warrants a few scarred-for-life patrons…
6) So… the girl bore this Lou’s mark, who is Bobo’s number one enemy, apparently. They seem to have made some sort of pact and Lou was not supposed to cross into Bobo’s territory. And I think Lou was the wolf?
7) Uh-oh…
Bobo found the bug. That doesn’t bode well…
8)
9) There’s absolutely NO way Wynonna didn’t see that…
10) Wait, wasn’t Whiskey Jim being tortured for information by Dolls? How did he end up in Bobo’s hands?
11) How are these two so soft and sweet and badass at the same time? My heart cannot take it…
12) I really liked how the confrontation between Wynonna and Dolls played out. At first, I thought she was honestly being vulnerable and purposefully giving him the flirty eyes and leading him on, which she has sort of been doing, and that seemed unfair to me. But she was just using his attraction to her against him in order to handcuff him to the car and find out what he was hiding.
13) So we can’t really trust anything Jim tells Wynonna and Dolls, considering Bobo instructed him to provide them with certain information. But I think there must be some truth to what he told them. There’s definitely some blood between Bobo and Lou, but I wonder if it’s really because Lou tried to overthrow Bobo. And I do have a feeling that he might be much worse than Bobo. But I’m guessing they’re not going to find them in Pine Barrens, like Jim told them…
14) This is actually some good advice…
WYNONNA: Those things are cockroaches to me.
DOLLS: Don't do that. Do not do that. I saw your eyes back there. They were cold and callous. Don't get all hard and forget that you're human. That you are you.
WYNONNA: I won't.
DOLLS: Just remember, revenants will say anything with a ticket to Hell pressed to their forehead.
15) In this episode of Man vs Car…
I love that he’s so perplexed by this gift and Wynonna’s gesture that the best use to make of it he can think of is smashing it to bits until Waverly suggests he could learn how to drive.
16) Woods 101? Always stick with your group. Amateurs…
17) Why does Wynonna always wake up in the weirdest places?
18) Is this Lou? And is he the leader of some kind of wolf cult or something?
19) Sounds accurate…
CULT GIRL: How can you tell the good from the bad?
WYNONNA: Um the good ones are usually scared. But they push past the fear, you know? And they do what's right, even when it hurts. Even when every instinct is telling them to do nothing, to survive. And the good ones are hotter.
20) Oh, I feel sorry for the cult girl, she was kind of sweet.
21) Of course, they’re caught…
22) Well, he does seem to know Bobo pretty well…
LOU: Bobo. That narcissist finally figure out that his stupid fur coat won't protect him?
23) So, the “mark” means that you’re no longer welcome in this “community.” Well, mark me down…
24) The rogue animals are coming after Wynonna, right?
WAVERLY: Every single girl on this list? Found dead, scattered around the Ghost River Triangle. Autopsies say that they were toyed with and then killed by animals that had gone rogue.
WYNONNA: Rabies?
WAVERLY: No. Just torture. Like, every single bone in their body broken, their skin licked off.
WYNONNA: This is why I don't do pets.
25) I knew that he’d be craving this after a night out in the woods…
But what the fuck is it?!
26) Wait…
Was this just a camera trick? Or is it something that he can actually do when he’s under the influence of whatever he’s been jacking up on?
27) He’s the cutest…
But was he trying to run off or something?
28) He was trying to run away. Because he doesn’t think Wynonna feels the same way as he does…
DOC: I have vanquished my enemy. I have taken her horse. I am finished here, Waverly.
WAVERLY: This was your plan the whole time.
DOC: No, this was your plan. You told me to learn to drive.
WAVERLY: I didn't mean leave Purgatory without a word!
DOC: I do hate goodbyes.
WAVERLY: Look, we need you, okay? She needs you.
DOC: She has Dolls.
WAVERLY: Can't you at least try? I mean, I'm trying with Nicole.
DOC: Difference is, she adores you back.
But I wish Waverly asking him would’ve been enough for him to decide to stay, you know? Not that I think he’s gone. God, I hope he’s not gone!
29) Wynonna’s message about what makes a person a “good one” really got through to Eve, and I love that. But… it seems a bit unrealistic that a girl who’s been part of a cult for who knows how long would turn against her leader after having a few words with an outsider, you know? I know they didn’t have enough time in one episode for them to actually develop a bond, but it would’ve been more effective if we would’ve seen them establish a connection and how Wynonna was helping her demolish the walls in her mind.
30) So, Lou is a skinwalker. I’m guessing that’s another way of saying shapeshifter?
31) In case I haven’t said it, I’m in love with Wynonna…
32)
33) hOW THE FUCK WAS EVE ABLE TO SHOOT THE GUN?!
34) IS SHE FUCKING WILLA??!!!
DOLLS: She didn't remember anything - since Lou found her, huh?
WYNONNA: Yeah.
DOLLS: Prolonged psychological trauma can cause amnesia. She may have been brainwashed. Or she's lying.
WYNONNA: She's not lying. We thought she was dead.
DOLLS: Wynonna…
WYNONNA: We gave up. We stopped looking for her.
DOLLS: Wynonna. We don't know anything for sure. There could be 1000 reasons why Peacemaker worked in her hand, you hear me?
WYNONNA: Or there's one.
34) IT IS!!!????
36) Okay, I was not expecting that plot twist? To be honest, half-way through the episode I was feeling like it was a meh episode. Some fun moments here and there but I really didn’t see the point in this plot so far into the season. But now it all makes sense! There are two living heirs! It’s a great twist on the “chosen” mythology. I just assumed that the mythology in this show was similar to the one in BTVS, by which an Heir could only be called at the age of 27 when the previous one had already died… but this changes everything! This means that as long as they turn 27, they can all be heirs. Could this mean that Waverly could be an heir at some point? That would mean she can actually be the one to kill Bobo off! I also have so many questions about Willa. Does Wynonna’s father’s relationship with Bobo have something to do with the fact that she was taken? Did their father hand her over to them? Was she the reason Lou left town? Did the girls’ father and Bobo team up against Lou and Willa was one of the sacrifices they had to make? SO. MANY. QUESTIONS!
37) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!
#Wynonna Earp#Melanie Scrofano#Waverly Earp#Doc Holliday#Tim Rozon#WE recap#WE 1x10#mine#MTVSwatches
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OUAT 3X18 - Bleeding Through
If you don’t like Cora, then I’d recommend you EVA-cuate before this review begins!
...Fuck what you say! I’m proud of that one!
Anyway, the review is under the cut!
Press Release
After Zelena steals Regina’s heart, Regina casts a spell so that she can speak across the realms to her dead mother, Cora, to discover the truth about why she abandoned Zelena, and Belle stumbles across what Zelena’s ultimate end game is. Meanwhile, in the Fairy Tale Land that was, young Cora is duped by a man claiming to be a prince and finds herself alone and pregnant. But a chance meeting with a real prince could lead Cora to the royal life she’s always craved, but she must keep her pregnancy a secret or risk losing everything.
Main Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness
Past
The Cora insight in this episode is so great. Like we really see how a woman with ambitions of royalty, but still a level head becomes someone so driven like the Cora who abused Regina so she’d become royalty. ”Revenge is a long-term plan.” I like how even in an episode that is more-or-less leaning towards sympathizing with Cora, there are nuggets of her darker side wedged in there. It really helps balance the story and remind the audience that yeah, this is Cora. There was always that darkness to her, even while she still had her heart.
Everything in this flashback also completely recontextualizes what happened with her and Regina and Daniel’s relationship. Like, of course a love with a commoner would leave Cora just a bit apprehensive. That’s not to excuse her for SHIT, but I do this it’s important to point out nonetheless.
Present
It’s weird that we don’t really reach the meat of this story until the halfway mark. Everything beforehand is more setup than anything and it’s unlike most every other episode in that regard. The closest comparison that I can think of is “Coming Home” which spent its last fifteen minutes as an epilogue.
I compared the Regina/Zelena/Cora conflict to the Snow/Regina/Cora conflict in the past, and I guess now’s as good of a time as any to unpack that. Just like how Snow did something that hurt Regina without meaning to at all, so did Regina to Zelena. Both Snow and Regina in their respective situations were innocents and so were Regina and Zelena victims of Cora. So, is there a point to pointing this out rather than to just say that it exists? Well, I think the latter instance shows the only good way that a complicated issue like this can be resolved: communication and understanding. Snow and Regina grasp this about each other and finally, this is where the bulk of their issues are put to bed. While Snow’s divulgence of her secret comes out, it’s going forward played for laughs in the instance of a corrupted state or as a “what if.”
But ANYWAY, that aside, the Snow/Regina dynamics sits at the heart of the present segment’s story. It’s hinted at early on and blossoms from the end of the failed seance onward. Snow’s apologies to Regina throughout the episode allows for these two women to finally confront the complicated nature of their run-ins with Cora. Cora was a bad person who in the end, got what she deserved, but the mess she left behind wasn’t deserved by those with whom she left it.
All Encompassing
THAT ALL HAVING BEEN SAID, ”She didn’t want to give up Zelena. She was forced to by my mother.” Everything Snow recounts about her possession is utter BULLSHIT and makes me think she has no comprehension skills! To put it bluntly, that aspect of the ending fucking sucks! This would be one thing if this were a few episodes ago, but she’s contradicting things that have and will be in mere minutes literally clarified. Cora DID willingly give up Zelena and all Eva had to do with it was making sure Leopold wasn’t swept up by it. THAT is why “My best chance” is the swerve of a line that it is, because it’s a mother giving up her child to die in the woods with absolutely no remorse! Because of all that, the moment where Snow “exposits” about the present ends up as the weirdest story hole that paints everyone involved in such an unnecessarily weird light. This is either the result of the writers not communicating with each other about the framing or the framing being flat-out wrong. Like, they’re trying to make this a more complicated issue, but are going in the reverse order of things! How did they fuck this moment up so badly?! If they wanted to do that, Eva should’ve been shown in the episode to be a lot more malicious than she was instead of exposing a liar. The actions should’ve been worse, but I’m more on Eva’s side than Cora’s. OR FUCK! LEOPOLD has a giant ass hatedom and he was the one who proposed to someone he was roughly four times older than! Make HIM the baddie! Have him outright reject her for the pregnancy and kick her out, no lie attached. That way, you get to keep the message the same, but give that assholery to someone who deserves it. Just...this element that makes up the moral center of the story is utter GARBAGE here, and it’s so sad given how well set up everything else was. Eva’s move was only douchey if you remove the fact that Cora was keeping such a big secret!
Insights - Stream of Consciousness
-”Red apples are so sickly sweet. Don’t you agree?”That must be an Enchanted Forest thing, because not in our realm, or at least not compared to Granny Smiths!
-Okay, Zelena’s plan to get Regina’s heart was sinister and ingenious as fuck!
-The way Roland just drops the firewood in his hands upon seeing Rumple is so fucking adorable! #bestcharacter
-Aww! Regina’s first thought when she loses her heart is to ask if anyone was hurt!! <3
-I love the background music in the flashback’s first scene. It’s so bouncy and peppy and just makes me smile!
-Jonathan’s such a sneaky asshole-ish fuck. He has his seduction of Cora down to a freakin’ science!
-”I’ll turn this ring into gold.” Bitch, she’ll do it herself!
-”Can you please tell your mother that we’re not naming your brother Leopold?” Yes! Please don’t!
-”Eva might not work for a boy.” Edwin?
-The Dark Vortex is hands down the silliest thing this show has ever done and I kind of love it.
-”Oh don’t be jealous.” ...This line was said from Zelena to one of her monkeys. Do her monkeys have crushes on her?
-I like the explanation for why they don’t use the seance more. I am curious though, do you think people who have moved on can be communicated with? Like, if Neal were killed with an actual weapon and Zelena were present for it, would he have been able to be summoned?
-FUCK YOU, JONATHAN!
-”Good luck finding me.” Why? You’re a gardener. You’re pretty easy to find. ...Okay, so you’re just gonna run away from your job? ...You are such a loser.
-Hey! Pre-scummy Leopold! Decent to see you!
-Jeez. Hearing Emma talk about how powerful her magic is hurts! Damnit!
-”I’m not in the mood for a heart-to-heart.” “I’m not sure that’s physically possible right now.” XD That’s an underrated joke and Regina’s chuckle was well earned!
-”You can help with the teacups.” Why is it that teacups are this show’s equivalent of being soft and cute?!
-I love how you can see how freakin’ amazed young Leopold is when Cora takes his knife to make the fire.
-The way Emma says “Boom!” is sooooo cute! She’s so excited and I want that as my fucking text tone! <3
-...I love how Belle for once gets to interrupt someone at Granny’s. This is ending up as the best Belle episode ever and she’s not even the main!
-”You should have a woman dress you more often.” I can’t say that I disagree.
-”Why a heart? Why courage? Why a brain?” Do you think Zelena knows that there’s not only a book series, but a classic movie based around these things?!
-”My son is not lost. He’s dead.” Don’t remind me!
-Haunted house! Why are there so many Halloween episodes that have fuck all to do with Halloween?!
-I love how the possession blends into the next flashback scene! That was COOL storytelling!
-...I know Rumple’s playing her, but damnit, the dude’s dashing as fuck. If I were Zelena, I’d have fallen for him too.
-Damn! Zelena’s touch starved! Have a listen to those gasps!
-”And he said I have a tough placenta, which somehow came out creepy.” Yup, that’s Whale for you.
Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing?
The Wicked Witch - So we now have Zelena’s plan and I while I stand by what I said in my “It’s Not Easy Being Green” review in saying that it’s kind of pointless going back in time when Cora only wants a child that will grow up to be royalty, the process of how she time travels is nonetheless a good one and Zelena’s the kind of character who is both cocky and talented enough to make it happen.
Regina’s Redemption - We get so much of Regina’s Redemption in this episode and once again, it’s all just spectacular! “If she wants to kill you, she’s gonna have to go through me.” Like, Regina’s not only defending someone who she used to HATE, BUT is freely standing up to her mother. That’s so impressive!
Killian’s Redemption - I think it’s a big show of how much Killian has grown as a character that while not romantically pursuing Emma, he’s still doing everything he can to help the cause while he comes up with another plan. He’s definitely in a complicated spot here and not telling Emma is definitely a mistake, but for his current situation, he’s doing what he can to ensure everyone’s safety.
Rumple’s Redemption - Rumple made a really impressive stride here. Just as much as Rumple mourns for Bae’s loss, he wants to honor the sacrifice he made and thus refuses to resurrect him at the cost of invalidating that sacrifice. Look, Rumple has a tendency to put his needs above others, but with Bae, he will never do that again.
Favorite Dynamic
Belle and Regina. Let’s talk about that apology scene and how good it is. I like how at the start of it, Regina does what she did with the Lost Boys and points how how them working together could benefit them both, but upon seeing that that won’t work (Or that it will, but Belle deserves better), she gives a real apology. And I like how Belle, while working with her, doesn’t necessarily accept it. It’s also a good moment in that it gives Belle a voice as she gets to react to things and get angry, and as Belle isn’t often granted that by the writing staff, I think it’s something that makes those moments stick out more.
Writer
Jane Espenson and Daniel Thomsen finish out their work for the season here, and they were doing such a good job...but then they fucked it up! Like, the mistake was easy to fix. Either make Eva do something FAR more villainous than convince Leo to test Cora or axe the “my mom was evil too” angle. But by not going all in on one or the other, you lose the center of your story, and that’s exactly what happened here.
Rating
8/10. Not gonna lie. That 8 comes solely from the ending resolution on Eva and Cora. That lack of understanding of what your own narrative was saying is so shocking and appalling to me that I had to take off more than just one point for it. The rest of the story -- both of them -- are so good. How did they not stick the landing? I feel like they were trying so hard to make Cora more complicated that they neglected Eva in the process.
Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”
Captain Swan - This is such a weird moment to love as a CS fan, but I still do. Emma’s finally opening up herself more to Killian and Killian can’t do the same, but Emma’s still trying and she’s trying fairly hard! Also, I want to know how that conversation would’ve gone had Belle not stepped in! Would Emma have gotten the truth out of Killian? Would there have been cuddles? It’s anyone’s guess!
Golden Heart - Just gonna point out that when Cora finally showed up, it was in by a spinning wheel of all things!
Outlaw Queen - I like the present buildup to Robin and Regina getting together. Regina’s softness and understanding of them being soulmates on top of their chemistry really helped the expedition of their romance work. Robin’s subdued presence alongside Regina and Snow’s conversation about her resilient heart really helped their kiss come together.
-----
Hey guys!! Thank you all for reading and to those fine and fabulous folks at @watchingfairytales for birthing this project! Also tagging the marvelous @daensarah by request! Love you all and I’ll see you all next time!
Season 3 Total (169/220)
Writer’s Scores:
Adam and Eddy (39/60)
Kalinda Vazquez (26/40)
Andrew Chambliss (34/50)
Jane Espenson (28/30)*
David Goodman (29/40)
Robert Hull (30/40)
Christine Boylan (20/20)*
Daniel Thomsen (28/30)*
* Indicates that their work for the season is complete
Links to the rest of my rewatch will no longer be provided. They take posts with links outside of searches and I spend way too much time on these reviews to not give them that kind of exposure. Sorry for the inconvenience, but they still can be found on my page under Operation Rewatch.
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