Did the Peaches just never play the Bells? 

new chapter (supernatural fic)

(earlier parts are here; whole thing is here) 

Clean Hands, part 3 

Crowley/Castiel/Dean Winchester, warning for violence and spn demons being spn demons   

0   

Another day, another assassination attempt.

“Congratulations, sir,” said Paula, bustling in with his coffee and daily planner. “That brings it to eight, yes? I recall your making some remark about throwing a small office party if we hit ten before the end of the month.”

Lifting the corpse off the row of retractable spikes he’d installed in his desk, Crowley grunted, “It was a joke. On the other hand, maybe it would be good for morale. Make the blighters less determined to snuff me.”

“I’ll add it to the calendar. Sir, your ten ‘o clock is waiting in the lobby. Should I send him in?”

Technically, ‘ten ‘o clock’ didn’t exist in Hell. Time didn’t exist in Hell.

But by God, it did for Paula.

Infamous among Crowley’s minions, she ruled his appointment diary with an iron fist (well – iron talons, more accurately) and kept a horseman’s pick tucked neatly under her workstation for anyone who was more than five minutes late.

She’d been the most competent corporate PA in the business when Crowley had purchased her soul in exchange for a medical breakthrough that had beaten down her cancer and allowed her those ten precious years. It would, in fact, have allowed her a normal human lifespan, if not for Crowley’s hounds.

(Her wish was among his favourites and her contract had pride of place in his trophy cabinet. She could have just said ‘cure me’; she’d dreamed bigger. Ambition! Now that was what Crowley liked to see. Very few people who sold their souls managed to leave the world a better place than they’d found it.

Truthfully, arranging the breakthrough had taken an amount of power on his part that, ordinarily, he’d have objected to. Ever since the Zuckerberg Incident of 2004, Crowley had maintained a policy against granting wishes that fundamentally altered the pace and trajectory of human scientific development. But he’d wanted her. Reliable PAs were like gold dust and they almost always went to bloody Heaven. “And for what, I ask you?” he’d said to Dean once. “How much admin is really involved in keeping people locked in a lotus-eater machine?”)  

“The ten… oh, piss. It’s Alan, isn’t it? Yes, yes. Let’s get this over with. Send him in.”  

Another day, another fucking workplace harassment mess to sort out. How many more sodding seminars was he going to have to host before they all got it through their heads that biting off a co-worker’s arm was not a viable long-term conflict resolution strategy?

Sigh.

It was only after four meetings and sixteen calls that Crowley remembered he’d not yet disposed of the assassin.

“I suppose I should make an example of you,” he huffed, already imagining it.

The hassle.

The bother.

Getting an apron on.

Finding the hammer.

Lugging the stupid bastard up a ladder and nailing him to the office noticeboard by his scrote.

He could always ask Paula to do it. But, bless her heart, she’d only been a demon for six years and arranging a corpse for maximum intimidation was just as much a matter of practice as talent.

As Crowley was fetching the ladder, Gwen from Legal arrived whey-faced and dogged by two dozen assistants and interns.

“Sir, it’s a catastrophe,” she wailed.

Five minutes later, Crowley was back at his desk, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Avoidable. Utterly, pathetically avoidable. All you had to do was amend the contract to state that the phrase ‘ten years’ refers solely and specifically to Earth’s orbital period, not the orbital period of the contractee.”

Gwen hung her head. “I don’t know what to tell you, sir. Finding qualified staff to manage this sort of deal is tricky. When people with, you know, science degrees and stuff die and are damned, the assholes over at the Experimental Punishments Department always snatch ‘em up first. It’s a real problem.”

“I’ll have a word with them. Ugh – alright, alright, let’s try and sort this out. How long is a Martian year?”

“The internet says six hundred and eighty-seven days.”

“Damn. Almost twice as long,” Crowley grumbled, pouring himself a drink. “What did he even want from us? He’s a billionaire. The list of things they can’t get without our help grows shorter by the day.”

“He wanted to guarantee that he’d be the first man on Mars, sir; that none of his competitors would get there before he did.”

“Wait. Hold on. The thing he wished for and the mechanism by which he’s attempting to fuck us over are one and the same? Oh, no, no, no. I’m not going to take that cheeky bollocks lying down. Get the head of Research and Development in here, now. We’re going to find out how to crash a spaceship.”

Gwen’s gaze flickered to the assassin’s corpse. “Um.”

“Fuck,” Crowley muttered.

At which point Paula tapped on the door to ask if he wanted to reschedule his next five meetings, because unless he could deal with them all in a grand total of twelve minutes, he’d be late for his call with the NRA’s chairman.

When Castiel arrived – without an appointment, as per usual, but Paula had standing instructions to let him through – he found Crowley resting his head on his desk, fantasising about being a paperweight.

“I’ve come for more sex,” he explained.

Dragging himself from despair’s depths, Crowley slurred, “T’riffic.”

He instructed his meat suit to sit up and turn on the winning smile. Unlike more reliable vehicles, possessed bodies didn’t have dashboard lights to indicate an exhausted battery; instead, it announced its displeasure by growing three new tumours.

Castiel stepped back, confused. Displeased. “You’re usually more enthusiastic than this. Why is your desk covered in diagrams of rockets? Is this a ‘new hobby’?”

Exaggerated finger quotes. Damn him to the pit, he was precious.

“Kitten, rest assured I have only two hobbies and they both dress badly.”

He expected retaliation for that. Castiel hated being reminded that Crowley regularly dallied with his favourite human. It came as a surprise, then, when the angel simply reached out and firmly gripped his shoulder, declaring, “You need to rest.”

Wings flapped. Suddenly, Crowley was standing in front of a wide, glassy lake, surrounded by dense forest, and in the distance…

“Is that Mount Fuji?”

“Indeed,” said Castiel, smiling briefly. “She’s a childhood friend. I first visited when she was little more than an unusually picturesque bump in the ground.”  

There was no one around. There was nothing around. No boats on the lake, no fishermen, no families on holiday, not even the distant roar of traffic. Just them, the view, the water, and a – huh – a bright orange tent pitched nearby.

“This is where I come to relax,” Castiel informed him, opening up the zipper.

“Whose is it?”

“Mine.”

“Huh. I wasn’t aware that you…”

“That I what?”

“Owned things. Or even grasped the concept of owning things. Don’t give me that look; you’re the one who’s worn the same socks ever since you slipped into that God-bothering flesh puppet.”

Castiel sniffed. “Materialism is a disease. But I’m not a child, Crowley. For your information, in my time on Earth I have owned many things.”

Always fun to ruffle the pretty bird’s feathers. “Yeah? How many of them were hand-me-downs from the Hardy Boys?”

“Most of them,” he said, levelly. “With the exception of this tent and your ass, demon.”

A pin drop pause.

Castiel maintained unblinking eye contact for exactly twelve seconds, then turned and crawled into his neon den.

Practically vibrating with adoration, Crowley followed.

It was evident that Castiel, despite his laudable efforts to create a space for himself in a world that had no space for him, didn’t entirely grok camping.

There were no sleeping bags. Instead, the tent’s bottom was covered in duvets, dozens of them, soft and fresh as if they’d come directly from the shop – or, more accurately, Crowley suspected, someone’s washing line.

“I cured her dog’s foot infection,” Castiel said, somewhat defensively, settling into his cotton and fleece nest.

“Ah. And she was so grateful she said you could make off with all her laundry, hm?”

“She… did not say those words, precisely. But it was heavily implied.”

Thank sin this was only a meat suit. Thank sin, thank everything that Castiel couldn’t see the expression of hopeless, pitiable fondness that would have adorned Crowley’s true face at that moment.

It was a relief when Castiel, without further ado, started undressing. Crowley, copying him, took the opportunity to talk sense into himself.

Come on. Grow up. Get it together. You know what you are. More importantly, you know what he is. Ageless. Unfathomable. Demons, at the end of the day, are just distilled human nastiness, but him? He existed before humans. Before microbes. He’s nice to babies and bees and pot plants and Dean and that makes it easy to forget that… that…

Oh, yes. Remember when he came to Hell? The first time he saw Dean; the start of their epic, eternal, infuriating romance? And where were you? That’s right. You were with the others, standing there slack-jawed and helpless, like dinosaurs watching the comet hit. Like children gazing up at a mushroom cloud.

Twelve thousand. That’s how many demons he burned out of existence, without even trying. Twelve thousand.

Do you think he ever thinks about them? Do you think he even noticed?

Twelve thousand.

Do you think he knows how close you were to being one of them?

Do you think he cares?

He’s nice to babies. Bees. Pot plants. Dean. You, even, sometimes. He’s sweet. He’s got big, soft blue eyes and hair that aches to be tussled. He’s a top-tier, world-class fuck. And at any moment, for any reason, he could end you, easy as blowing away dust, and you can’t say for certain he would even remember your name in a month’s time.

“What? No,” Castiel protested when Crowley kissed him. “We’re here to rest, Crowley.”

Drawing back, Crowley leered. “That’s what you want to do, is it? Rest?”

Perpetually thirsty tart that he was, Castiel bit his lip and looked torn. “I… yes.”

Crowley pouted.

Firmer now, Castiel said, “We will rest for a while first. Then we will have sex. Is that satisfactory?”

No sooner had Crowley resignedly nodded than Castiel seized him and finished undressing him, tossing his undershirt and socks out the tent. When they were both naked, the cold air coming off the lake making Crowley shiver, Castiel burrowed into his pilfered pile and dragged the demon down with him.

“Rest first,” he ordered him. “Sex afterwards. No, no – stop that. Afterwards, I said.”

Crowley groaned and whined and fussed, but obeyed.  

And bugger him gently if it wasn’t actually pleasant, very pleasant, to lie there with Castiel’s strong arms locked around his torso, toasty warm under layers of wool while, outside, the lake lapped at its bank and wind rustled through the trees. No assassins. No paperwork. No blood. Everything nice and quiet. Everything calm and clean.

Then Castiel sighed, a hot puff against the back of Crowley’s neck, and said, “You know, the thing that vexes me most about Dean is the way he…”

halley’s comet and other extenuating circumstances ch. 3

“It’s snowing?” 

Lexa nods. 

As if she needs to know for sure, Clarke pushes herself up on an elbow, unwashed hair slipping from behind her ear as she pulls back a wispy curtain to expose a backyard full of snow. 

read on ao3

She gets the text at six a.m. 

Her phone buzzes by her head and she reaches back, frowning unhappily as she uncurls herself from the warmth of flannel sheets and her long-sleeved pyjama top to answer it, cold worming its way under the dips and creases of the fabric. 

It takes a moment to find, and another to figure out why it’s tucked upside down into the storage trolley Clarke keeps on the wrong side of her bed for her acrylics, clock and a little vase of fake, dollar store flowers instead of her own nightstand but when she remembers why she smiles. 

Winter is awesome. 

It’s even better than Fall if Lexa had to rank the seasons — and not just because football season is over. While September gave her her girlfriend and Clarke on the sidelines in her uniform, Winter so far has had Jake working long hours and Abby pulling second third at the hospital and a mutual agreement between both of their parents that being home alone together is better than Clarke being home alone by herself. 

It’s meant cash pinned to the fridge, along with a note in Jake’s handwriting to order something other than sticky rice and egg rolls from Haun Garden for dinner and sitting in Lexa’s bedroom beneath glow in the dark stars, all faded and plastic and peeling from the ceiling, swapping answers for AP calculus over cold Pop-Tarts and Coca Cola cans. 

(Even better, it’s meant Clarke in Lexa’s Pikachu pyjama pants and pictures for prosperity — one half of a cheap, silver heart necklace from a kiosk at the mall draped around her neck over her t-shirt). 

And yeah, maybe Lexa’s Spanish conjugations have veered toward sloppy ever since Clarke started whispering quiet querida’s and mi corazón’s to Lexa under her breath during class — she thinks she might have single-handedly kick-started Señor Moreno’s nervous breakdown the first time she answered a question with sorry, I don’t know — but the kisses traded later, in the alcove outside the arts classroom in B block more than make up for it. 

“Clarke,” she whispers, digging her way through the intricate layers of comforters and quilts on the bed until she finds the lump. 

It’s a blond lump, tucked cozily into a grey-green Polis High School Cheerleading sweatshirt, pyjama pants and the Christmas socks Lexa slipped into her stocking the day before Christmas Eve, and it squirms unhappily when it’s poked, glaring at Lexa past the edge of her pillowcase with slitted, sleepy eyes. 

“What?” 

Lexa hands over her phone in reply and Clarke takes it with cold fingers, blinking at the screen as she reads the text from Lexa’s Mom. 

Roads are closed. Daddy called the school board and you don’t have school today. Be home for dinner, please. Love you.

“It’s snowing?” 

Lexa nods. 

As if she needs to know for sure, Clarke pushes herself up on an elbow, unwashed hair slipping from behind her ear as she pulls back a wispy curtain to expose a backyard full of snow. It’s harsh and white in the light from the porch. A thick layer of it sits on the patio furniture and the grass is buried from fence to fence, boxed in on either side by big, sloping mountains, the ice yellow and green and starburst red in the reflection of the Christmas lights still hung up on the trellis. 

It’s January now, Christmas is over, but the Griffin’s have a habit of leaving their decorations up well past Epiphany much to the annoyance of Mrs Gardiner across the cul-de-sac who has her lights up and down on a practically military timetable. Jake has been promising to do it for the past two weeks, ever since he went back to work after the holidays but he says it with enough of a twinkle in his eye that Lexa knows they’ll still be up come Valentine’s Day and beyond. 

(Lexa is OK with that; when she thinks about sitting cross-legged with Clarke on the porch on February Fourteenth, watching the lights catch in the spun-silk of her hair, she wonders if spite is enough for Jake to leave them up all year round). 

“Shit!” Lexa hisses when cold air unexpectedly invades the pocket of heat she’d eked out against Clarke’s mattress. She traps her arms against her chest, pulling the cuff of her sleeve down with her thumb as she watches her girlfriend move around the room in a single chin of light from the open curtain. 

A pair of UGG boots are flung out of the bottom of the closet and she frowns. “What are you doing?” 

“Going outside,” Clarke tells her from the foot of her bed where she pulls the sheepskin boots over her socked feet. 

She looks so pretty in the six a.m. light — so loved and worn in wearing Lexa’s pyjamas and her cheerleading sweatshirt — that Lexa can’t even summon the strength to tell her no when her own sneakers are fished from the depths of the overnight bag she stowed under Clarke’s desk the afternoon before. 

Instead, she takes them dumbly, looping the laces around cold fingers and wondering if there’s anything in the world she wouldn’t do for Clarke Griffin. 

//

It appears not, she thinks as she follows Clarke downstairs half an hour later, clinging to her sweater sleeve in the pitch dark of the stairwell. 

During the day the alcove is lit up — the walls practically a shrine to a gap-toothed Clarke in her powder blue little league jersey grinning proudly from the front of every frame — but now, Lexa struggles to see as she follows her girlfriend through the dark. 

Clarke disables the alarm with Lexa’s fingers firmly ensconced in hers, unlatching the patio door, grinning madly as she pulls Lexa with her out into the biting cold, so perfect and complete, it steals the breath straight from Lexa’s lungs. 

Cold air worms its way under her t-shirt, raising goosebumps up her arms and she pokes her thumbs into her cuffs to combat it, her shoulders hunched against the chill. She watches Clarke next to her as she shuffles her soggy UGG boots to the edge of the deck and reaches an upturned palm out as far as it will go, watching the flakes settle into the crevices of her skin. 

“It hasn’t snowed like this since February,” Lexa says, crossing her arms over her chest to preserve the warmth. The snowflakes in front of them are coming down in thick, wide clusters, unlike the sleet that came before Christmas and turned the football field to slush. They cling like velcro to Clarke’s hair and clothes. 

“Since Atom fell in the parking lot and ate ice trying to invite Octavia to the Sadie Hawkins dance,” Clarke remembers, laughing. 

Lexa frowns. “Aren’t the girls supposed to ask the guys to those?” She remembers that particular dance in vivid, excruciating detail. How Clarke asked Finn Collins to go with her and how she — forced to go by Anya, the only Junior on the decorating committee — stood in the corner by the restroom all night, watching the little throng of Freshmen slow dance a few feet away, pulling uncomfortably at the stretchy hem of her Forever 21 dress. 

It had pretty much been the worst night ever. The crepe paper constellations tacked to the ceiling hadn’t even been astrologically correct. 

“They’re supposed to,” Clarke shrugs, blinking up at the sky. Wet snowflakes string themselves like beads through her hair and Lexa itches to reach out and touch them. “No one does though. They just wait for the guys to buy their tickets and like about how they asked them.” 

That seems stupid to Lexa — like a whole lot of mental gymnastics just to make sure people think you don’t care. Then again who is she to judge? 

“I’d ask you,” she whispers, digging her chin into her shoulder as she looks over at Clarke. 

“I’d ask you too,” Clarke grins. 

(It sounds a little like something else). 

//

When she wakes up again three hours later, it’s light. 

There’s a space heater pointing at them from the open doorway — she can see the extension cord snaking away down the corridor — and Clarke is flush-cheeked next to her when she looks over, propped up on her elbows as she scrolls through her phone. 

“Hi,” she looks down at her, smiling in the same way as she has done every morning since they started sleeping in each other’s beds. 

Her hair is still a little damp around the crown — a shade darker than the rest of her head like damp, wet sand — and Lexa reaches up to tuck a kinky, blond lock away from her eyes, feeling Clarke preen under her touch. “What’s the time?” 

“Nine,” Clarke replies. “You’re phone’s been buzzing.”  

“It’s just Anya,” Lexa guesses, reaching over to unplug her phone from her charger. Sure enough, it is, Half a dozen Snapchat’s she forgot to reply to tonight — mostly because they were all teasing her about how whipped she is for spending her lunch hour yesterday huddled on the bleachers watching her girlfriend run make-up lacrosse drills — plus a new phone sits on her lock screen. She thumbs the notifications away and presses her camera against the comforter to send a reply. “She’s picking me up at four.” 

“Awesome,” Clarke throws her phone down on the mattress. She tosses her hair out of her face as she slides a bare leg over Lexa’s hip and Lexa has to remind herself to breathe. 

She thinks remembers Clarke tossing her pyjama pants away in the hours after they went back to bed. It hadn’t seemed like such a big deal then, but now she can feel Clarke’s knee pressed against the bare skin of her waist, everything inside of her feels like it’s on fire. 

Honestly, she’d been pretty upset to note that the whole constantly horny side effect of being a sixteen-year-old girl hadn’t gone away when she got a girlfriend to relieve the tension with. If anything, it’s only gotten worse. Like, a lot worse. She wonders if her and Anya’s newfound closeness extends to talking about…this.  

“What do you want to do?” 

//

What Clarke wants are pancakes. 

Lexa sits on the granite countertop with a plastic bottle of her batter in her hands while she bangs pots and pans around in the butler’s pantry and wonders if this is what all the songs mean when they talk about love.  

It’s puke worthy to even think about, let alone say out loud; so unbearably cliche for someone so reliant on logic and reason but it feels good not to be striving for something anymore. It’s all still there in the background — track meets, debate, a million AP classes she isn’t even sure she enjoys — but they don’t feel as imperative as they did before. She doesn’t feel like she will fade into oblivion if, one day, she doesn’t want to be valedictorian anymore. 

Besides, Clarke makes it feel like it’s OK to think in cliches. Mostly, it’s just the ‘l’ word that’s been knocking around her head recently that has her nervous; she’s no expert, but she’s pretty sure they’re too young and it’s too soon to be feeling something so big and important.

She plants the bottle of pancake batter on the counter when she realises she’s about to peel the label off, picking sticky residue off of her restless fingers. 

“Did you know the average snowflake falls at a rate of three point one miles per hour?” 

It isn’t snowing anymore. The sky is bright blue and cloudless but every now and again, flat, white chunks will fall from the slope of the Griffin’s roof, leaving powdery piles on the ground beneath the kitchen window. 

“Only you would turn a snow day into a physics lecture,” Clarke complains, grinning at her as she emerges from the pantry with the skillet. She plants it on the cooktop and turns on the gas, pouring a dollop of batter into the pan. 

“Why should you miss out on learning just because of some anomalous weather?” Lexa teases innocently. 

“Oh,” Clarke trills, “someone’s been doing their SAT prep.” She leans across the counter until Lexa can feel her breath against her ear and whispers in a half-cocked porn-star moan: “I love it when you use big words.” 

“Ostentatious,” Lexa murmurs back, taking the bait. “Evanescent. Spurious. Anachronistic.” 

Clarke giggles sweetly, her cheeks pink and her bottom lip trapped between her teeth. “Keep going,” she requests and Lexa tries desperately to remember the words written on the neon green queue cards tacked to the wall above her bed. 

(In other news, she’s pretty sure she’s found a new revision tactic and files that away for later). 

“Empirical. Ignominious. Unilateral…Clarke!”  

“I didn’t see that one on the list but I’ll go with it.” 

“No!” Lexa squeals, pointing at the stovetop in alarm. “Clarke!” 

“Shit!” Clarke blanches at the smoking pan, lunging for the handle. 

“Don’t touch it!” 

“Fuck!” 

Taking the kitchen towel from the rail on the oven, Lexa winds it carefully around the handle of the smouldering pan, carrying it carefully to the island where she dumps it in the sink. It sizzles angrily against the water leftover in the breakfast dishes beneath it, billowing smoke in thick, blake waves and Clarke stares at her charred pancake despondently. 

“So…Gus’s?”  

//

They go to the diner, wrapping up in UGG boots and hoodies, tucking their wallets into their pockets and their ears under their beanies as they trudge through the snow. The smell of smoke is still trapped between in Clarke’s hair and every time she bumps up against Lexa as they walk — cinched far too close together on the otherwise empty sidewalk — she bursts into fits full of giggles, shoulders bouncing under her hoodie. 

It had taken three minutes for Abby to call once the smoke alarm went off — screaming loud enough for Lexa to flea to the porch while Clarke stood on the kitchen stool to fan the smoke away from the sensor — and fifteen more for Clarke to convince her the house was still standing. 

(“Mom, would I be talking to you from the landline if it wasn’t?”)

She made Clarke promise to stick to takeout and grilled cheese made in the sandwich press and maybe sign up for Home Ecc next semester but eventually, she hung up, telling Clarke she’d see her tonight and Clarke had scraped the remnants of the pancake into the trash before turning to Lexa with a look like a scolded child. 

“I didn’t think I’d be seeing you today,” Gus grunts when they enter the diner, looking up from where he stands behind the counter with a mug of thick, black coffee. 

For all the time she’s spent with him, Lexa can’t tell if it means he’s happy to see them or not. What she thinks is exasperation one day could just as easily turn out to be fondness. 

He refuses to let Lexa take on a shift when she offers now that she doesn’t have school, sitting them in their booth by the window with two sticky menus and two mugs of coffee instead and mumbling something about teenagers being half-naked in the snow when Clarke stretches enough that her bare stomach shows under the hem of her cropped hoodie. 

Clarke waits until he retreats to the kitchen with two orders of pancakes scribbled down needlessly on his notepad before she leans over the table conspiratorially, smoke still lingering on the collar of her hoodie. 

“I think he’s starting to like me.” 

//

Gus cuts them off after their third cup of coffee. 

Lexa pushes her mug towards him when he does the rounds with the coffee pot, offering it to the three other customers who have braved the roads that the ploughs are still in the process of clearing but he shakes his head when he stops in front of them, clearing their breakfast plates instead. Lexa’s jaw drops, indignant. 

“You’re sixteen. What do you need caffeine for?” 

“I take four AP classes,” Lexa fires bag, offering her mug again. 

Gus slides it back towards her. “Go outside, Lexa.” 

Rolling her eyes, Lexa puts two twenties on the table that she knows Gus is going to put towards her paycheque next month and the two of them slide out of the booth. 

Clarke doesn’t want to go home yet. They left the windows downstairs open on their safety catches as Abby told them to but the kitchen still smells like smoke so she pulls Lexa towards the park instead, using her sleeve to wipe the powdered snow from the swing and lowering herself to the rubber seat. Lexa takes the tone next to her, digging the toes of her soggy boots into the ground to stop herself from moving. 

Despite the temperature and her breath fanning out in front of her like locomotive steam, Lexa doesn’t feel cold. There’s syrup instead of gloss on her lips and she’s starting to lose feeling in her toes — she wiggles them in the tips of her boots to no avail — but when Clarke leans over, cinching their swings together by the cold, metal chains, Lexa doesn’t think she’s ever felt warmer in her life.

She presses her forehead against Clarkes, the rim of her beanie trapped between them, and feels Clarke’s breath bloom hotly against her collarbone. It feels intimate; far too intimate for the swings in the middle of the morning. It seems like something that should happen as they lie in Clarke’s bed at night, Clarke’s five-fingered grip pressed firmly against the flat expanse of her stomach and backs turned against the open bedroom door — Abby’s rule, not theirs. She shivers. 

“Are you cold?” 

When she doesn’t reply, Clarke’s snakes an arm around her torso, frigid fingers slipping between her hoodie and the waistband of her sweatpants and Lexa shrieks, bucking wildly against the cold. Her swing lurches sideways, the chain slipping out of Clarke’s palm, and Lexa careens backward, landing with her top rucked up in a pile of wet snow. 

For a moment, all she can feel is cold. The cold, harsh kind that slings itself through her veins as the snow soaks the ribbed hem of her hoodie and up into the fabric back of her bra. Then, Clarke’s face is blinking at her owlishly from above, two amused and one part guilty — it only takes her a second to laugh. 

“Now I am.” 

Apologetic, Clarke’s fingers slip in a circle around her wrist, muscles straining against Lexa’s weight but Lexa leans back with two hands and pulls Clarke down to the snow with her instead. She lets out a scream, kneeing Lexa inelegantly in the crotch when she hits the ground but Lexa thinks she probably deserved it. 

“So am I,” Clarke looks at her, chest pressed close enough that Lexa can feel the little vibrations from her giggles through the thick fabric of their hoodies. 

Clarke rolls off of her when the mother of a two-year-old in a pom-pom hat on the other side of the playground gives them a tight-lipped look — at the ruckus or at the sight of them cinched on top of each other, Lexa doesn’t know. Curling on her side against the gritty, snowy ground, Clarke shoots her long, farcical faces while Lexa tries to stifle the laughter that rises within her, rolling like waves of champagne bubbles. 

It shouldn’t even be funny — it isn’t funny — but every second she spends with Clarke feels like a reason to laugh and it makes her happy in the most perfect way. 

When she gets herself under control a minute later, fits of giggles tapering off into snatched, little hitches of breath, Clarke is watching her, lips trapped between her teeth, and Lexa knows she feels the same. 

//

“If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?” 

They’re clean and dry now, curled together like two halves of a closed shell against the rumpled sheets of Clarke’s bed. 

She had dragged Lexa upstairs once they got home — shivering and cold in their wet, snowy clothes — and while everything inside of her had rebelled when Clarke reached for her pyjama pants and fleece to climb back under the covers, the temperature was low enough — that deep, stinging cold that slings itself through hardwood and window panes — that, even if they hadn’t left the windows open for most of the morning, the central heating and space heater combo probably couldn’t have done much to combat it. 

Instead, it was the way that Clarke had pulled her down to the mattress with a wicked smile when Lexa was only halfway through putting her pants on that had given flushed cheeks and that sweet, syrupy warmth back to her body. Her heart is still recovering. 

“Here.” 

(She means it too — whole-heartedly and with every fibre of her being. She’d give up a ticket to the moon if it meant she could relive this moment ad infinitum). 

Clarke gives her a funny, little look. 

“You’re a sap, you know that?” 

Waking Up

For the Fictober 2019 Challenge #1, 19, and 15 (as I’m a little behind in the days 😊)

“It will be fun, trust me.”

“Yes, I admit it, you were right.”

“That's what I'm talking about!”

The X-Files

Fan fiction

March 25, 1996

The phone rang in the middle of the night, rousing Scully from her sleep. Reaching across her side table, she knocked over the cup of water she had not quite finished, spilling it to the ground, the cup bouncing, it thankfully being a plastic purple one she had kept for years.

“Goddamn,” she grunted, sitting up and sighing as the phone stopped ringing. Shaking her head, she heard the water dripping to the floor and whined as she threw back the covers and got out of bed.

Grabbing a towel, she stomped back to the bedroom, sighing as she dropped to the floor to clean up the puddle of rapidly growing water.

“How? There was hardly any water here.” Sighing again, she was in the middle of cleaning it when the phone rang again. “What?” She snapped as she picked it up, drying the drawers as well as the floor.

“Scully!” Came Mulder’s loud and excited voice. “Scully! Can you hear me?”

“Is she there? Ask her what she’s wearing.”

“Frohike, you’re gonna wait in the car if I hear anything like that again, I swear. Scully, are you there?” Mulder said at a quieter volume.

“Mulder, did you call me a couple of minutes ago? What am I saying, it’s after two in the morning, of course it was you,” she said, resting her head against the side table. “What could you want at this hour, especially if Frohike is involved?”

“Scully, get dressed and meet us,” he said and she heard the excitement in his voice again. She also heard Byers and Langly arguing over something and she sighed. “Langly! No, not like that!” The phone disconnected and she shook her head.

Groaning, she stood up and threw the wet towel in the bathroom sink, ready to go back to bed, when the phone rang again.

“Mulder…”

“Scully, it will be fun, trust me,” he said quietly and told her the vicinity of where they were. “Dress warmly, it’s cold out.” She sighed and he laughed. “Come on, you don’t want to miss this.”

“Fine, I’ll be there in half an hour.”

“Good.”

She hung up and smiled as she walked to the closet to change her clothes. Only Mulder, with the puppy dog voice to match the eyes, could rouse her from bed, tell her to get dressed and pull her into some crazy late night adventure. Shaking her head, she put on pants, a long sleeve shirt and sweater, thick socks and boots. She grabbed her coat, gloves, and a beanie, adding her keys, phone and wallet to her pockets, and walked out the door.

Arriving about forty minutes later, she frowned as she discovered many cars parked around the area. “What in the hell?” she said under her breath as she parked and got out of the car.

Up a small incline, she stood on a flat stretch of green grass, many people milling around looking up and speaking excitedly. Turning around, she gasped as she looked up into the inky night sky.

“Oh wow,” she murmured, the bluish-green of a comet visibly bright even without a telescope.

Staring in amazement, she only looked away when she heard the distinctive voices of Langly and Frohike trading barbs.

Rolling her eyes, she went to join them, despite her desire to want to observe the comet on her own.

“Maybe if I got you a chair, you could actually be able to look into the telescope,” Langly smirked and crossed his arms.

“Oh shut up, you hippie. And get a damn haircut,” Frohike said back, throwing his hands in the air.

“Would you two shut the hell up? Jesus, Byers how do you live with this all the time?” Mulder asked, fussing with the telescope in front of him.

“You learn to tune it out,” he smiled and caught Scully's eye. “Agent Scully! Glad you could join us.” His smile broadened as she walked closer, smiling back at him.

Mulder looked up and saw her standing there and smiled, motioning for her to come over to him. She stepped over and he moved out of the way, nodding at her to look into the telescope. Pressing an eye against the eyepiece, she closed the other and focused on the comet.

“The Hyakutake Comet,” Mulder said, standing close to her. “We kind of saw it a few days ago, remember? Well, the guys have been tracking it and found it would be brightest tonight. My father had this telescope and I got it out of my storage and well…” She looked up and saw he was shrugging. “You couldn’t miss this, Scully.” She smiled and nodded looking through the eyepiece again.

The comet was beautiful on its own, but through the telescope it was magnificent. She watched it for a bit before stepping away and giving Langly a chance to view it. Frohike offered her a drink from the thermos they were sharing and she discovered it was whisky after she had taken a large drink.

Coughing, she handed it back to him, her eyes watering. He laughed and took a large swallow, nodding in appreciation. Byers brought her a camping chair and she sat down, watching the comet burn across the night sky.

“So, was I right?” Mulder asked with a smile, as he sat beside her in a camping chair of his own. She smiled as she looked over at him and nodded.

“Yes, I admit it, you were right,” she said and he feigned surprise.

“Frohike, bring that whisky over, we need to toast a victory,” he called, Scully laughing as he did. Frohike walked over and poured quite a large amount into the thermos cup, handing it to Scully, then gave the thermos itself to Mulder.

“To being… what was it you said? Oh! Being right,” he clinked the thermos to her cup and smiled, both of them taking a drink. “Phew! It bites good, huh? That’s what I’m talking about!” He took another sip before Frohike took it from him, shaking his head, leaving the cup with Scully as he walked back to the telescope.

She handed the cup to Mulder and he took a drink before giving it back to her. She smiled at him and he grinned.

“You warm enough? I think there is a blanket in my car,” he asked and she smiled with a nod, her layers of clothes and the whisky doing more than enough to keep her warm.

Looking up again, she settled back into the chair. Frohike and Langly were still bickering, Byers adding his knowledge to their conversation, causing an in depth discussion she tuned out, concentrating instead on the beauty in front of her.

“Thank you for waking me up,” she said quietly, handing him the cup of whisky. He nodded and took another drink as they sat in companionable silence, his gloved fingers brushing hers every time they shared the cup of warming whisky.

*******************

2002

They would recall it one night, as they sat outside yet another low rent motel room, him with a week old beard and his hair longer. Her hair shorter and recently dyed nearly as black as the night around them.

“It doesn’t matter,” he whispered as she leaned her head on his shoulder and quietly lamented over the color of her hair. Saying she no longer felt like her. “I don’t care what color your hair is, Scully. It’s your eyes.” She lifted her head, looking at him quizzically as he smiled, touching her hair. “That night in that field, getting drunk off the strongest whisky I ever tasted, the guys arguing as usual, you beside me, that bluish-green of the comet lighting up the sky reminded me of your eyes.”

She stared and he nodded. “Eyes are supposedly the windows to the soul, right? That comet was a window into a different universe, one that changed everyone standing there that night. My world, my universe, had already been changed and that comet, with the blue of your eyes, was icing on the cake,” he said, rubbing her hair between his fingers.

She was destined to love him, she knew it, now as much as then. That night as they sat in that cold grassy field, watching a comet blaze through the air as they remained unmoving, their lives still untouched by so many tragedies, she knew.

And now, fresh faced or fully bearded, she still saw him, just as he did with her, in his eyes.

Smiling softly, she put her head back on his shoulder, remembering that night of happiness. The guys, the laughter. She let that happy memory surround her, shutting out the darkness that continually threatened to consume her.

50 questions

I was tagged by @hayley-the-comet thanks heaps!! This looks fun

What is the colour of your hairbrush? Umm, yes... my hairbrush

Name a food you never eat: Besides all animal products... mushroom. Can’t stand em. Wish I liked them, they’re a pretty versatile food.

Are you typically too warm or too cold? Too warm. It’s changing a bit now because the weather’s so cold but compared to other people too warm definitely.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Chilling on the couch with family, pretty sure that was 45 mins ago as of writing this

What’s your favourite candy bar? Vego bar

Have you ever been to a professional sports game? yeah

What is the last thing you said out loud? I think I said “see you tomorrow” to a family member, unless you count just laughing at a YouTube video which was more recent

What is your favourite ice cream? Probably chocolate or mint. I like the vegan cornettos too

What was the last thing you had to drink? Water

Do you like your wallet? Yep it’s a batman wallet

What is the last thing you ate? A complete cookie

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Can’t remember if it was on the weekend but I’m waiting on a tee shirt and bomber jacket to be delivered

What’s the last sporting event you watched? Couldn’t say, I don’t watch sports

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? Probs just salted or buttered/salted (vegan butter obvs)

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? A work colleague

Ever go camping? Very occasionally 

Do you take vitamins? Usually but I’m being slack rn, I’m waiting on some of those to be delivered too. Normally I take B-12, omega-3 algae oil, D-3, iron, zinc, and magnesium

Do you go to church every Sunday? Never been

Do you have a tan? Not in this weather

Do you prefer Chinese or pizza? Pizza

Do you drink your soda through a straw? I’m sensing these questions were written by an American... nope I don’t drink that stuff

What colour socks do you usually wear? Black

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? See, here’s the thing. I use cruise control fanatically to avoid getting a speeding fine. So far so good. But a month or two ago I got done by the cops for speeding, but it’s because they got me just as I’d finished overtaking someone. That’s literally the only time I’ll drive faster than the limit. To overtake someone. Not because of the law or anything, I couldn’t give two shits what the law says (I mean look at my Tumblr name lol), I just don’t want them taking my money. Lucky for me when I got done the cop was one of the few reasonable ones and let me off with a caution because he knew I’d just overtaken someone and saw that I’d had a flawless record prior.

What terrifies you? Not having properly lived before I die. The animal holocaust going on every minute of every day. The fact that the environment is getting fucked and all people seem to care about is the economy. We’re one species of ten million. Sometimes I just wish the events of the day the earth stood still would happen. Probably not quite what the question was asking but that is honestly what terrifies me. Anthropocentrism.

Look to your left, what do you see? My bedside table with various items on it (lamp, Apple Watch, cologne, deodorant, drink bottle, tissues, etc.)

What chore do you hate most? Probably vacuuming

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? Yep, definitely written by an American hahaha, I think “oh someone’s saying something in a normal sounding voice” lol... wait no I wanna change my answer to Chase from House

What’s your favourite soda? N/A mate

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive through? Usually drive through but depends

What’s your favourite number? Don’t have one

Who’s the last person you talked to? Think my dad

Favourite cut of beef? No cutting, just a live, happy cow allowed to live its life is my favourite :)

Last song you listened to? I’m good? by Hilltop Hoods

Last book you read? I think 12 rules for life? I have very mixed opinions on it but at the very least Jordan Peterson has some motivating things to say

Favourite day of the week? Friday or Saturday for obvious reasons

Can you say the alphabet backwards? Probs very slowly haha

How do you like your coffee? Strong French press with 1 sugar and a lil soy milk 👌

Favourite pair of shoes? I have like 1 pair of shoes I wear 95% of the time they’re just black nikes with the white sole and nike tick

Time you normally get up? If I’m working then like 90 mins or so before I start work, if I’m not working then more like 11am, love my sleep ins :)

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets

How many blankets on your bed? 1 quilt

Describe your kitchen plates. Um mostly just white but a few with a blue ring halfway to the edge, like if you drew a radius line the blue bit would be in the middle of the line

Describe your kitchen at the moment. Messy

Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? I usually have like a vodka/soda/raspberry thing or vodka dry or if its beer then corona

Do you play cards? Badly

What colour is your car? Red

Can you change a tyre? Haven’t before but how hard can it be

Your favourite state? If you mean Aus then I very much like my state South Australia but if you mean in the US I have no idea

Favourite job you’ve had? They’ve all sucked equally haha

Do you have any Frozen Superhero AU ideas? I don't think I've seen any on your blog but you seem good at AUs and I was curious what you might have.

I actually started a Superhero AU like, years ago but I hit a dead end with it. Looking back, it’s kinda your typical cliche superhero origin story. I don’t think I’ll ever finish it.

But what I did enjoy about it was that Elsa, the one who becomes a superhero, didn’t start with her powers. She was normal, working as an environmental scientist, who comes in contact with a supernatural comet made completely out of ice that doesn’t melt. She studies it for a few years, and then one day it just kinda...explodes. And very much like what happened to Captain Marvel, Elsa absorbs all that energy and gains her icy powers.

It starts with her feeling progressively colder, like she’s stuck in a freezer she can’t get out of. Then she changes. Appearance-wise. I had her originally with her non-magic look with brown hair, hazel eyes, etc. But then as the powers slowly settle in, they start to change her appearance to the Elsa we all know and love with that near-white blonde hair and blue eyes. And needless to say, she kinda freaks out about it. Anna also doesn’t really help the situation, largely because she’s too much of a nerd freaking out about getting a superhero for a sister.

I’d be happy to share that scene. I still don’t think I’ll ever post the full story but honestly this scene was why I started writing it in the first place. So here it is, under the cut:

When Elsa reached her bedroom, she wasted no time changing into more comfortable clothes before flopping face-first onto her bed. She had suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion, and the bed felt so nice and soft underneath her that she began to drift off right away.

Then she shivered. It was a little cold in her room, seeing as Anna liked to blast the A/C in the summer months. With a small groan, she shifted so that she was partially covered by her sheets and comforter.

Just as she was about to fall asleep again, another much more violent shiver tore through her body. This time she buried herself in her bed, but she still felt uncomfortably cold. She reluctantly got up and staggered over to her closet, where there were a few spare blankets. She chose a thin knitted one, believing it would be enough seeing as it was summer and being cold now of all times was a bit ridiculous.

The blanket was not enough, and with an annoyed grumble she got up again and grabbed another blanket. This ritual continued for about twenty minutes. At one point she paused to throw on a thick wool sweater and socks, along with her warmest sweatpants. She curled up in a tight ball under a mountain of soft, warm fabric but still found herself shivering as if she was trapped outside in a blizzard.

Eventually, she rolled out of bed, temporarily giving up on sleep, and decided to go in search of the thermostat. She selected the softest, biggest and thickest blanket she owned and wrapped it around herself before heading out the door.

Downstairs, Gerda was busy making dinner for the girls while Anna was watching television. She left during commercials and walked into the kitchen to grab a soda from the fridge. “So she really wants to go back to work so soon after that incident?” Gerda wondered.

“Yeah, she’s kind of nuts,” Anna sighed with a shrug, “She has a terrible fear of ice because of one stupid accident that happened years ago, but she nearly gets herself blown up and it doesn’t even faze her. Go figure.”

They then heard someone coming down the stairs, and since Kai was in another room on the main floor, they knew who it was. Anna, still with her head in the fridge, could hear her sister coming, so she greeted, “Hey, Sleeping Beauty! How was your–”

She straightened up and closed the fridge door, revealing a very cold looking Elsa. “…nap? Um, you ok?” she asked uncertainly.

Elsa glared at her. “It’s f…freezing in here,” she stated coolly.

Anna quickly glanced down at what she was wearing herself: shorts and a tank top. She felt perfectly comfortable in it, too. “I think that’s a problem only you seem to be having, Els,” she told her shivering sister.

“Great,” Elsa said sarcastically. She then shuffled into the family room and flicked on the gas fireplace before plunking down in the chair closest to it. Anna and Gerda both watched in confusion as she wrapped herself up even more in her blanket and continued shivering.

“I’ll make her some tea,” Gerda suggested in a whisper. She then quickly went on to her task.

Anna slowly made her way back to her spot on the couch, and sat down. She no longer focused on the T.V., but instead stared at her sister. Elsa did not seem to notice, and if she had, she did not care. She was too busy trying to get warm again.

Anna was in deep thought. Her eyes then flicked down at one of her notebooks resting on the table, and suddenly an idea came to her. She discreetly reached for it and a pencil, and flipped it open to a page where she had drawn a rather complex flowchart.

“Hey, Elsa?” she asked carefully, “I was just wondering if, you know, you ever thought about superheroes?”

“Wh…what kind of qu…question is that?” Elsa shot back through chattering teeth.

“Well, I don’t know…” Anna said slowly, wincing slightly as she put forth the possibility, “Maybe because you’re about to become one?”

At this, Elsa cast her a look. “Anna, s…superheroes and superp…powers, don’t exist,” she stated dryly, “You w…watch too many m…movies.”

“Yeah, I do, and I read a lot of comic books, and here’s the thing: I made a flowchart a while back that is basically the formula, like, every superhero story uses as an origin for their heroes. And I hate to break it to you, but you’ve pretty much struck every nail on the head so far.”

“Oh r…really?” Elsa questioned with an eyebrow raised.

“Yep. Here, I’ll prove it,” Anna said confidently before looking down at her book, “Let’s see… You weren’t born with your power, which means you had to gain it. And so out of the different ways you could have gained it… Ah, here we go: lab accident.”

“Anna, just because I–”

“Ah! No interrupting! Now, in the lab, were you working with any of the following: something from space? Yes. Something radioactive? Yes. Something with strange properties that don’t normally exist in the physical world? Yes. See my point so far?”

“Superpowers aren’t real,” Elsa repeated in annoyance.

Anna continued, choosing to ignore that comment. “And when the accident happened, it did so in a way that left people wondering how you were even able to survive in the first place… Interesting, isn’t it, sis?”

Elsa rolled her eyes. “I’m not getting superpowers, Anna,” she stated firmly, “If anything, I’ve probably got some sort of radiation poisoning…” She paused for a moment before the full weight of that statement struck her. “Oh God, I probably have some sort of radiation poisoning!”

“Relax, Elsa, this is just the stage when your powers begin to manifest. Every superhero goes through this. You’ll be fine,” Anna said nonchalantly.

“Fine?” Elsa demanded, “I’m not going to be fine! Look at me! I’m freezing in the middle of June! This has to have something to do with being exposed to the energy that comet released when it exploded!”

“Well, duh! That’s part of the chart, too! ‘Are the powers related to whatever it was one was working with in the lab?’ You were working with weird space ice, and now you’re suddenly really cold. Coincidence, I think not!”

“Anna, this isn’t a game!”

“Of course it’s not, this is awesome! Now, are you experiencing any physical changes to appearance?” Anna studied her increasingly worried-looking sister. “You’re paler than normal.”

“Wh– Of course I am!” Elsa sputtered, “I’m about to have a panic attack here and you keep going on about superheroes? Besides, my complexion should be the least of my worries!”

Anna’s eyes suddenly widened. “Uh, yeah, you’re right,” she said blankly, “Worry about your hair instead.”

Elsa gave her another confused and annoyed glare. “I don’t really care so much about how I look at this moment, Anna!”

“Oh, I think you should.”

With an eye roll, Elsa reached for her long braid and brought it over her shoulder to see what her sister was going on about. Her eyes suddenly bulged and her jaw dropped open in shock as she stared at what should be pure, dark brown hair, which was now dark brown with white-blonde streaks running through it. She even had the luck of watching another chunk of hair suddenly turn white – from root to tip as if the platinum was a dye flowing out of her head.

“What?” she gasped.

“Um, I hate to alarm you, but your eyes are doing it, too,” Anna said nervously.

“What?” Elsa exclaimed. She leapt out of the chair and raced to the nearest bathroom. She got there just in time to watch the last of the brown be consumed by the off-white colour. Then her hazel eyes, which suddenly seemed more green than amber, changed hues completely and became a striking, sapphire blue.

“Anna!” she called in a strangled voice, “G…get in the car, now! We…we have to go to the hospital.”

“Whoa, Elsa! Look at you!” Anna gasped when she spotted her sister, “You look good as a blonde.”

“Just stop talking,” Elsa commanded as she staggered out of the bathroom and headed for the front foyer.

“Just what are you two going on about?” Gerda sighed as she came into view, “Oh my word… Elsa, what…happened, dear?”

Elsa wrapped her arms around herself. “I…I don’t know, but I think I should go to Emerge…now.”

“Alright, dear, alright,” the maid said as calmly as she could, “I’ll get Kai to take you. Kai!” The butler appeared and gasped when he saw his young charge’s new appearance. “We need to take Elsa to the hospital,” Gerda ordered.

He nodded, but before he could head off, Anna said loudly, “Would everyone calm down! There’s no need to take her to the hospital! Besides, comic book history sort of shows that doctors are normally worse than useless when it comes to superpowers.”

“Enough, Anna…” Elsa muttered as a warning as she made her way to the door.

“What on earth are you talking about?” Gerda demanded Anna.

Anna took a deep breath, and explained as quickly as she could, “Elsa doesn’t believe me, but I’m convinced that she’s getting superpowers because she meets all the requirements to do so. She just had a lab accident with something weird and radioactive from outer space, she survived something that would normally kill a person, she has been developing weird symptoms all relating back to the thing she was studying in the lab–”

Elsa, at this point, was done hearing Anna’s ramblings about nonsense. She was scared, and annoyed, and cold, and feeling something really weird swirling around in her head, heart and gut. “I said enough!” she yelled angrily. She whipped around and swung one arm out in a finalizing action, hoping that it would shut her sister up.

It did much more than that. She barely registered what was happening when something flew out of her hand when she swung it in front of her. There were audible gasps from Gerda, Kai, and Anna, along with a sound that reminded her of ice crackling and glass breaking. And suddenly she was staring at a strange, very sharp-looking formation of glowing ice just feet in front of her.

The silence that followed was broken by Anna: “…And that. She can also do that.”

VLD3x06 – “Tailing a Comet”

3x06 – “Tailing a Comet”

This episode is a mess. 

This commentary is long because I have a lot to critique.

Lance is in some Galra base. He’s looking through the scope of his bayard-turned-rifle. The red of the bayard and the blue of his armor looks so dissonant. I don’t know how the visual of the colors not matching resulting from the lion switch plot ever felt right to the EPs. It might match for whatever nostalgia they have of the old 80s Voltron, but it looks like an animation error.

Keith rushes in, taking out sentries. All the Paladins are there, including Allura, whose bayard is manifesting as a whip. A very inconsistent whip. Sometimes it acts solid, like a normal whip, wrapping around sentries. Other times, without anything to suggest a change, it acts like a blade, cutting sentries apart. Purposeful inconsistencies like the nature and behavior of her bayard make it difficult to track and anticipate how anything works in this show. It’s disorienting to watch. Just another absurdity of this show’s production.

Pidge does something to a computer and all the sentries shut down and fall over. That is a serious security vulnerability that one would think the Galra, with their 10,000-year old universe-wide empire, would have figured out and built their systems so that every sentry didn’t have a singular, unified off-switch.

Given what Pidge and Keith say at the end of the scene, the Paladins must be going around taking down various Galra bases before turning them over to the Blade of Marmora.

The sequence ends, revealing itself to be just an action set-piece. There was no narrative relevance to the scene, no reason for the scene to be in the story. It was solely there as pointless spectacle.

Back on the Castle Ship, Keith is talking to Shiro. Shiro remembers the battle with Zarkon, he remembers the Black Lion telling him to use the black bayard, and the next thing he remembers is waking up on a Galra ship. While Shiro could use a haircut, him in his white tank top is nice. Initially, I was just going to write that as a side-note in parentheses, but looking at Shiro’s bare arms, seeing precisely how the prosthetic connects to his arm is important. This won’t be relevant to some of my criticism for several seasons, but I want to point it out very specifically now so that I can come back to it when Shiro gets his new arm in season seven. It’s something I suspected, but I couldn’t remember any absolute textual evidence for what I have long thought. Seeing him in this tank top now, I know for certain, I’m right. This makes the new arm he gets in season seven even more abhorrent. I’ll wait until I get to those episodes to point out specifically why.

Keith points out that Shiro had “just unlocked the Black Lion’s ability to teleport.” He suggests maybe Black was trying to save Shiro by teleporting him or that maybe Zarkon somehow made Black teleport Shiro into Galra hands. This would have at least explained what happened to Shiro’s body. But since we know from future episodes that this isn’t Shiro, and that Black did not teleport Shiro to the Galra, the show leaves us with no explanation for what happened to Shiro’s body or how he died.

“Hey Keith, how many times are you going to have to save me before this is over?” Shiro asks. “As many times as it takes,” Keith answers. I love that they care about each other. And that makes the fact that they don’t talk to each other in season eight, acting as if they barely know each other, more infuriating.

Hair cut and face shaven, Shiro joins the others on the bridge. The first thing he says to them is to congratulate them on the work they’ve done in his absence in fighting against the Galra. Pidge interrupts with information she’s gotten from data she’s analyzed about Lotor, saying his most recent sightings have been in a particular “quadrant.” Shiro comments about the quadrant being huge. As I complained about the use of the word in 3x02 “Red Paladin,” I really don’t like that “quadrant” has become some go-to word for miscellaneous area divisions of space. The show remembers that Hunk is an engineer and intelligent, so they have him and Pidge go back and forth discussing a way to try to track the “comet.”

Lance actually comes to Keith’s room to talk to him. “You’re the leader now, right?” Lance says to Keith. This is an unnecessary, uncomfortable situation the show chose to put itself in. Lance talks about how they have “one Paladin too many.” Lance doesn’t want to take Blue away from Allura, so if Shiro resumes as Black Paladin and Keith goes back to Red, Lance thinks he should step aside. If the EPs of the show didn’t want to contort this show to fit their nostalgia of the old 80s Voltron, then this wouldn’t need to be an issue. There was nothing whatsoever wrong with having Allura as an admiral-level commander stationed on the Castle Ship. There she could be written as a leader, but as the Blue Paladin, she’s just kind of there, following orders instead of giving them.

Keith tries to convince Lance to just focus on the missions instead of worrying about it. To a small degree, Lance talking to Keith about this is Lance revealing some of his significant insecurities. With the unexplained rivalry between these two characters, character growth for them could have been built around Keith helping Lance learn to deal with his insecurities. This scene would be a step in such development, so Keith not recognizing here how severe Lance’s insecurities are makes sense. But the character development would need to continue in the future, and I think the show thinks that they do keep working on this character development, but they don’t ever really resolve the arc. It just sort of fizzles. At least, I don’t remember the show explaining how Lance deals with his insecurities.

Once again, the mice are shown having gone into the same (or similar) area of the ship’s systems with the two small crystals that they went into in 1x03 “Defenders of the Universe.” Like then, I don’t understand why the system was designed so that a technician couldn’t access it, thus necessitating using the mice to do so. Hunk promising the mice a “mouse shower” is cute though.

Hunk hitting the panel to make the ship send out whatever energy ring that is shown beaming out from the Castle is cliché, and, given the command input interface of this system, not really sensical. They detect the “comet” and begin pursuit. Their system locates the “comet” on a standard Galra ship, not Lotor’s, at a planet. Once again, the planet does not look like a planet.

Both Keith and Shiro simultaneously go to give the team commands. Keith defers to Shiro. I guess it makes sense that a readjustment like this moment might be realistic given the plot as it’s been this season, but I can’t watch it and not think about how the EPs wanted Keith as Black Paladin and wanted Shiro dead. Shiro thinks that the Galra must be transferring the “comet” to the base, but the ship ends up blasting the base. Shiro says they need more information, and Keith tells Shiro to take the Black Lion, that he’ll stay on the Castle with Coran and help provide support.

This suggests something that bothers me throughout the show. The Castle is a large ship and must have been designed with the intention of a larger crew than what Team Voltron has. They never do staff the Castle with such a crew though. Despite the show telling us about people joining the Voltron Coalition, none of those who join work on the Castle. The Olkari are a culture significantly made up of engineers, yet none join the crew. Slav supposedly helps on the Castle Ship at the end of season two, but he’s nowhere to be seen now. That the crew is never realistically staffed annoys me.

The Black Lion won’t respond to Shiro, so he tells Keith he’ll have to lead the mission. “It looks like you’re its true paladin now,” Shiro says. Ugh. Contextualizing this with the clone storyline, this is supposed to be a hint that this Shiro isn’t the real Shiro. The problem with that is that just last episode, Black specifically reacted to this clone, detected him, roared for him. There is literally no explanation for why Black would be interested in directing Keith to this clone last episode only to reject him now. Black wanted the clone last episode, but for Black now to not want the clone: the show is just ridiculously inconsistent. It’s like those in charge of the story cannot make up their minds about what the story is from one episode to the next.

The show expects us to think that somehow Black has bonded with Keith more than Shiro? That Shiro’s right in saying that Keith is Black’s “true paladin now.” That attempt by the show to make Keith Black Paladin is an act to delegitimize Shiro’s character entirely, including to degrade him from seasons one and two. The only explanation the show ever gives for Black choosing Keith over Shiro is that this is not really Shiro but a clone. But then, even once the real Shiro is put in the clone’s body, the show still has Black choose Keith over Shiro. That’s still the show delegitimizing Shiro in seasons one and two.

I can’t help but to feel insulted and offended by this storytelling decision. It’s like the show is ridiculing me for having thought the unified story of Shiro and Black in seasons one and two was good. This is the show calling me a fool for thinking Shiro and Black’s joint story in the first two seasons of the show meant something.

Shiro still tries to give leadership from the Castle Ship (there’s no narrative reason this couldn’t be Allura like it had been in the past).

Lotor’s generals bust in the base. (I still think Ezor’s sock head is an absurd design.) The Galra commander of the base shouts, “Lotor sent you to finish what he started!?” The episode doesn’t explain what the Galra commander meant by this.

The Paladins board the Galra ship, but there’s no crew. Even if Lotor is trying to act outside of the knowledge of the other Galra of the Empire, why wouldn’t there be sentries on the ship? They’re just robots, which means their allegiances should be programable.

Narti takes psychic control of the Galra base commander. She makes him shut down base security, which again makes all the sentries turn off. This again emphasizes what a severe security risk it is for the Galra to have all the sentries effectively have a singular off-button. Narti has him open the base’s roof, and inside is part of the teludav Team Voltron used to transport Zarkon’s ship in 2x12 “Best Laid Plans.”

The Paladins track down the “comet” to find instead a ship that’s been made from the “comet.” Wow, Lotor was fast. (So fast that it doesn’t feel realistic.) Episode 3x04 “Hole in the Sky,” wherein Lotor steals the “comet,” takes place between when Voltron fights him at Thayserix, seen in both 3x03 “The Hunted” and 3x05 “The Journey,” and when they find Shiro. Shiro loses consciousness during his pursuit of Voltron in “The Journey” seven days after Thayserix. Assuming a day or two of recovery on board the Castle before Keith and Shiro’s conversation at the start of this episode, that would mean Lotor would have had the “comet” processed and the ship constructed start-to-finish within maybe a week-and-a-half?? That is an unrealistic manufacturing timetable, especially if he’s doing all this relatively covertly.

Allura thinks that the Galra would never be able to operate the teludav without an Altean, and then she remembers that Haggar is Altean. This is written like Allura had forgotten and only just now remembered. The way she reacted upon seeing that Haggar is Altean at the end of season two, there’s no way that that would not have been something that was at the forefront of Allura’s mind. That’s why it’s weird that the show never made that revelation about Haggar a topic of discussion among Team Voltron before now.

Keith and Shiro have a disagreement. Keith thinks they should find and attack Lotor directly, thinking that stopping him will stop everything. Shiro thinks the most important problem to deal with is to prevent Lotor from having this ship he’s built and the Paladins should return to the Lions. Allura argues that Shiro has a point, Keith doesn’t exactly disagree, and says everyone else should return to their Lions while he looks for Lotor. Shiro tells Keith they all need to stick together. The rest of the Paladins concur. Keith gives in to the group.

As they move to leave, Lotor’s generals return and attack.

Keith and Axca fight, and for some unknown reason, it makes Keith think of the helmeted, unidentified Galra he ran into in the Weblum in 2x09 “The Belly of the Weblum.” There is literally nothing the episode presents about this moment of combat between Keith and Axca, nor about the Weblum meeting revisited in a quick set of flashbacks, to explain why Keith connected the two here and now. This moment of recognition is absolutely contrived.

Allura uses her bayard whip and wraps it around Zethrid’s rifle. Why she doesn’t use the whip to cut through the rifle, as we’ve seen her clearly cut through sentries with it, I don’t know. I know this is a show for a younger audience, so they can’t have Allura cut through Zethrid herself, but she could destroy the gun. Also, Hunk could have used his big gun to lay down a lot of suppression fire, but he never does. This fight does not feel well crafted.

The Paladins regroup and flee. Zethrid wants to pursue, but Axca orders her not to.

The Paladins discuss everything as they make their way back to the Lions. Keith confirms he knows Axca from the Weblum, but again, there is nothing about this fight now that would explain his realization. There’s worry about Haggar using the teludav to create wormholes, but honestly, I don’t see how this is an increase in Galra ability. Despite the Castle Ship’s having used wormholes in trying to distance themselves from Zarkon, Zarkon’s ship was able to traverse the same distance easily and quickly during his pursuit of them in season two. The distances traveled in this show are huge. We’re not talking from one star to another, we’re talking across the universe. Galra ships would have to have some form of travel comparable to wormholes to be able to do so, even if they don’t have teludavs specifically. Allura’s more concerned with Lotor having a ship made from the “comet.”

Pidge finally brings up something that’s at the core of this episode’s conflict: if Lotor has taken over for Zarkon, then why is he attacking a Galra base. I honestly would have expected this question to have been asked way earlier in the episode, like as soon as they detected the Galra cruiser firing on the base.

As Shiro and Coran bring the Castle Ship toward the planet to try to stop the Galra cruiser, Lotor’s “comet” ship attacks them.

A few words about the visual design of Lotor’s “comet” ship: to me, it looks silly. It looks clearly like a pair of legs. While I know that it eventually combines with other ships to form Sincline, and this ship is Sincline’s legs, it would have been nice if this ship didn’t look so obviously like legs.

When Voltron shows up, the “comet” ship takes off. Keith orders Voltron to form sword, and he uses the black bayard to do so. This doesn’t make any sense since in the past it was the red bayard in the Red Lion that formed the sword. This demonstrates another problem with the Paladins switching Lions: inconsistency of how Voltron is operated. We learn that Axca and Narti are piloting the “comet” ship, not Lotor. He’s off somewhere else, communicating with his generals here.

Shiro, Keith, and Allura kind of argue about attack priorities: The “comet” ship or the Galra cruiser with the teludav. “I thought taking down the ship made from the comet was the most important thing,” Keith aggressively says. It’s within character for Keith to become narrowly focused on something, so it’s not that it is unreasonable that Keith would find the need to deal with two targets in this situation difficult to think about. It does feel though like the show is purposefully trying to put Keith and Shiro at odds with one another in team leadership. Shiro yells to Keith that the Galra ship with the teludav is getting away.

Here’s another problem with this moment that reveals the whole dilemma to be contrived: While Voltron is fighting the “comet” ship, and Shiro is calling for Voltron to stop the ship with the teludav, the Castle Ship is doing nothing. The Castle Ship has been shown to be able to take out Galra ships many times before on this show. So why doesn’t it go after the ship with the teludav? Because the narrative is being forced to artificially manufacture contention between Shiro and Keith.

Shiro tells Keith to “lower your shield, shoot the cargo ship, and deal with the consequences.” Keith still thinks they can deal with the “comet” ship first before the other. Shiro yells, “There’s not enough time. You need to make a decision.” This is even writing Shiro’s character badly. If the decision is up to Keith to be made, then it’s clear what Keith’s decision is, so then Shiro shouldn’t be arguing otherwise. Again, this whole dilemma is totally contrived because the writers think that they’re making some big statement about how you can’t have two leaders. It feels like such a false, unnatural conflict between Shiro and Keith.

Keith eventually orders the team to execute Shiro’s plan: lower the shield and shoot the ship with the teludav. Given Lotor’s communication with the “comet” ship, he somehow knows that Voltron is going to do Shiro’s plan of lowering the shield to shoot the cargo ship. There is no reason that Lotor should know this.

Voltron drops its shield, brings up the shoulder canon, and Lotor orders the “comet” ship to “Fire, now!” Where is he that he can see this battle in such precise detail to order a ship to fire at such a specific moment? With the Paladins having said the cruiser was empty when they were on the planet, and with the way Lotor has been talking during this fight, he’s not here, so he wouldn’t be able to make such precise orders.

Keith seems to sense the “comet” ship firing, so he maneuvers Voltron out of the way, and the “comet” ship’s blast hits the teludav. That is a very precise angle that Voltron would have had to create in order to ensure that the “comet” ship’s blast would hit the teludav, so Voltron’s maneuver being purposeful to result in this outcome is highly unrealistic.

Voltron, now out of the way, just sits there, giving the “comet” ship time to re-aim and fire on them, this time hitting Voltron. The “comet” ship goes over to the cruiser so Zethrid and Ezor can board the “comet” ship. They then flee. Keith wants to pursue, but Shiro tells them to return to the Castle, that they need to figure out what is actually going on with Lotor’s actions/plans.

Shiro talks to Keith alone, apologizing for “stepping in.” Keith says he “thought he had it under control.” Shiro tells him, “You need to learn to pick your battles. Sometimes you have to make hard choices.” But Keith’s problem wasn’t that he wasn’t picking a battle or making a choice, so I don’t understand this supposed wisdom from Shiro. Shiro says that it was Keith’s “quick thinking that prevented Lotor from getting away with the teludav.” This confirms that we’re supposed to read the moment earlier when Keith maneuvers Voltron out of the way of the “comet” ship’s blast and the blast hits the teludav as being intentional, but setting up the necessary angle for that to happen is not something that could have happened as quickly as it did and in as stressful of a situation as it did, so again, that moment was highly unrealistic.

Shiro then again says, “The Black Lion has chosen you.” Ugh. It’s one thing for Black to chose Keith when Shiro’s unavailable, but it’s another for Black to choose Keith over Shiro. At this point, we’re supposed to think this is the real Shiro, so that’s explicitly what this scene is saying: that Black has chosen Keith over Shiro. Setting aside that this is a clone, the episode gives no explanation for why Black would choose Keith over Shiro. Shiro did the work of freeing Black from Zarkon’s influence. Shiro did the work to acquire the black bayard. And here the show is telling us that that strong bond Black had with Shiro that was necessary for it to be freed from Zarkon is now meaningless? Recontextualizing to view this as Black rejecting the clone, then the show needs to explain why Black was so connected to the clone last episode that it sensed the clone and directed Keith to go get him.

The Galra base commander is being interrogated by Haggar. He says he can’t remember anything other than whoever came had the correct landing codes. Narti must then be able to erase memories with her psychic powers. I’m still surprised that she’s not seen as a threat to Haggar. Haggar says she believes the commander, “but [he] still must pay for his failure” and she uses some miscellaneous purple energy to make him scream. Standing a short distance from her is Lotor, looking smug. For the commander to be there now, this scene has to have been some notable amount of time after the battle at the base.

And the episode ends.

So much of this episode is unexplained and contrived. Keith knowing Axca was the Galra he met in the Weblum. Lotor’s real-time awareness of the battle despite not being there to observe it, and his knowing precisely what Shiro’s attack plan is to relay that information to his generals. Shiro and Keith butting heads. The Castle Ship completely dropping out of the fight instead of attacking the one ship so that Voltron can attack the other. While there are a couple of good, yet brief moments in this episode, the vast majority of the episode is contrived or incoherent or disrespectful of past story.

Survey

Taken from @fiaspice​

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? Cereal.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? No. Not much of a fan of cold weather.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Usually the receipt.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Cold, with ice, without the coffee.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes.  Getting self conscious about a lot actually.

6: do you keep plants? Just planted some tonight in fact.

7: do you name your plants? no, but I might.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Not much anymore.  But I really want to try acrylic paint pouring.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes.  Or to my cats. Or steering wheel.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? sides

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? If I catch my employee at work not using her safety gloves, I ask her where her hand is and she responds by singing “IT ISN’T IN MY GLOOOOOOVE” (to the tune of Shawn Mendes’ “In My Blood”)  That’s the only one I can think of that doesn’t require ridiculous amounts of explanation.

12: what’s your favorite planet? Earth.  Couldn’t live without it. 

13: what’s something that made you smile today? Christy and Fraser on 101.5 Today Radio had a contest called “Chereoke” to win Cher tickets and some of the contestants’ attempts at singing Cher was hilarious.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Hopefully it would be a rustic/industrial combo style loft with at least one exposed brick wall, exposed duct work, metal and wood finishes.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!: Halley’s comet won’t orbit past Earth again until 2061... I’ll probably be dead.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Tortellini with a creamy rosé sauce.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I’m bald so this question is just cruel.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. After a friend of mine told me he had unprotected sex with his ex girlfriend on a booty call, I arranged for a bouquet of fruit to be delivered to his work on father’s day with a sonogram attached to it.  He’s a darker skinned guy but his face went white as snow.  It doesn’t sound like much, but his mom heard about the prank at her work several blocks away.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I don’t.  This blog is the closest thing I have to that.

20: what’s your favorite eye color? Blue.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I don’t have a favourite bag.

22: are you a morning person? I would say so.  I’m not so much of a night owl anymore.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? I literally sit on my couch all day and do nothing but watch netflix and dick around on my phone.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Don’t think so. 

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? Can’t say I’ve ever broken into anywhere.  At least, not anywhere memorable.

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I don’t have an exciting answer for this, but I have a pair of Puma shoes that have been around for 4-5 years.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Watermelon

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunrise.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? One of my friends makes it a point to build her other female friends up at any and all costs.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? The only thing I can think of is when I was probably 5 years old I was at a water park and I was supposed to go down the water slide but I was so scared that I couldn’t do it.  My family went down before me so I was stuck at the top screaming and crying.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? I mostly wear white socks because I wear pretty heavy duty shoes at work and so anything else gets ruined.  But if I’m going out or doing something, I usually like a bit of colour.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends? I'm told that one time at about 4:00 in the morning I went to my neighbours house and was knocking on their garage door for about half an hour singing songs, but I don’t remember that.

33: what’s your fave pastry? Creme puffs.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I had a Popple. (Remember Popples?! The Popples still make me smile.) Well, I had several, but my favourite was PC - specifically Sports PC.  I don’t still have him anymore and I’m pretty sad about that.  But his tail did fall off at one point and oddly enough, I still have his tail!

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I usually end up buying stationery items that I never use.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? My mood has been 100% Carly Rae Jepsen since Dedicated came out last Friday.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? My room is often messy, but that doesn’t mean I like it that way.

38: tell us about your pet peeves!? People who use incorrect phrases like “Once and a while” or when people say “should of” instead of “should’ve”

39: what color do you wear the most? Probably black.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I have no jewellery.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Hunger Games.  I haven’t really enjoyed too many books since then.  I’ve been trying to read the Harry Potter series but I’m only moderately enjoying them.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? I do not.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Frick it’s been so long since I’ve done that.  Probably a guy who I hooked up with several years ago.  I don’t even remember his name.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? The last time I went to the mountains.  It’s been close to a year.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Sometimes to a fault.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.?  Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Seafood.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Heights. I’m still afraid of them, but now I’d say I’m more scared of things like the ocean and space.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I really do.  Especially the ones I really like.  Most recent was Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Dedicated” album.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?  I don’t collect much anymore.  I used to collect Coca-Cola memorabilia, though.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? "Your Type” by Carly Rae Jepsen.  I swear I listen to other artists and bands besides CRJ, but she seems to be fitting a lot of the questions here.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Those comics on Instagram with the aliens explaining everyday human activities.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Beetlejuice is the only one of those that I’ve seen in full.  Haven’t seen it in probably 20 years so it’s time I give it another go.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My mom after my sister did some stupid things last week and was super cruel to her after.

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? I can’t remember

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Selflessness, genuine dorkiness.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I didn’t reenact the lyrics, but I did sing and reenact the scene from Wayne’s World.

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? Neither of them.

59: what’s your favorite myth? I still find the whole Bermuda Triangle thing to be interesting.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I don’t know any poetry.

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? Oh god, I’m a terrible gift giver so I couldn’t possibly narrow it down to just one.  Stupidest gift I’ve ever received was a Starbucks gift set.  I don’t drink coffee.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Well, I usually put fruit juice into my smoothies, so I guess yeah.  And whatever is available.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I have to keep them alphabetical except for my collections which are sorted by size of the collection.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Grey. Like it has been for the past week.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? Yes.  I’ll call him K.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Ideal flower crown is not a concept that is even remotely familiar to me.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? depressed.

68: what’s winter like where you live? Fucking long and unbearable. 

69: what are your favorite board games? Scategories, The Game of Life, etc.

70: have you ever used an ouija board? yeah

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Iced.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? I could probably benefit from jotting more things down than I do.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Laziness.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Sassy and spunky, but equally kind and compassionate.

75: tell us about your pets! My babies are not babies anymore.  They’re feline brother and sister and I’ve had them for more than 15 years.  He’s black and my bestest little buddy.  She cost me an invitation to my sister’s wedding and I have NO REGRETS about it at all.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? The dishes from dinner.

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink I guess?

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I find them entertaining, but I wouldn’t put myself in either club.

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Can’t think of anything right now.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? C2 Coconut. Essentially they’re a soft white. I did not choose that colour.  It was the builder’s choice and I just haven’t gotten around to painting it yet. Soon one wall is going to be a metallic denim-like blue. 

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Crystal ball reflecting tropical waters.

82: are/were you good in school? ish.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? Michael Jackson’s Dangerous, Social Code’s Rock N Roll or Spice Girls Spice.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I have a concept in mind that combines Spice Girls, Power Rangers and LGBT pride.  It’s just a matter of designing and getting it done.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?  Don’t read comics.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? The only concept album I can think of is Green Day’s American Idiot.  That one wore thin on me quickly.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Kingsman: Secret Service, Jurassic Park, Twister, and it’s not a movie but I’m going to say The Haunting of Hill House.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Acrylic Paint Pouring

89: are you close to your parents? yeah

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Ehh... Haven’t really explored many places recently and I’m feeling less enthusiastic about Calgary these days.  I’ll pass on this one.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I’ll be in Massachusetts this time next week.  Boston and Provincetown.  I’m excited as I’ve never been there.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Out of those two options, drowns in cheese.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Shaved.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My friend Ashley’s birthday was on Saturday.

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Packing and working.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Only once it is forced upon me.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INTP-T, Libra, Puffnstuff

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Last May.  Need to change that very, very soon.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. I couldn’t even begin to name those songs right now. 

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? I’d probably go back 5 years.  Whether I’m happy with my life or not, I don’t want to miss any of it.

30 questions

Tagged by the lovely @ardatli.

1)  Nicknames - Rose, I guess, is a nickname as it’s not my full name. People persist in calling me Ros/Roz even in work emails despite the fact that I have never introduced myself as such, never signed my name as such, never given any indication that I want to be called that. It’s so incredibly rude to abbreviate people’s names without their permission. It’s only recently that I’ve plucked up the courage to start telling people that it’s not my name. I loathe it as a name/nick-name. It’s so ugly.

2.) Gender - Cis Female

3.) Star sign - Gemini. I like being a Gemini - clever, capricious, restless, multifaceted. I can live with those kinds of epithets!

4.) Height - 5′1″ on a good day.

5.) Time – 6:22 PM

6.) Birthday - 13th June

7.) Favourite band – Of all time - ABBA

8.) Favourite solo artist – Caro Emerald

9.) Song stuck in my head – Currently The Prologue from Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812

10.) Last movie you watched – Falling for Vermont, a truly terrible Hallmark movie about a YA author who gets amnesia in a small town in Vermont and falls for the town’s widowed doctor. Watched it because Ally Carter was talking about it on Twitter. It was sooooo bad and the plot was holier than St Peter’s Basilica but weirdly comforting. That’s Hallmark movies for you, I guess!

11.) Last show you watched – Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries. I rarely rewatch shows ever but it’s just so good!

12.) When did I create my blog – 2011? I think? It was when I was doing my MA.

13.) What do I post – Gifs of shows I like mainly. Fic, if I ever bother to write any. My thoughts on stuff when I’m asked about them (and sometimes when I’m not!)

14) Last thing I googled – “Buying a fridge”. I live a wild life.

15.) Do you have other blogs – Various tumblr side blogs I never update. I’m considering starting a travel blog. Or a blog that rates tea rooms. Or maybe one that combines travel and tea rooms. Wonder if there’d be any interest!

17.) Why did you choose your url – Because Bathsheba Everdene is one of the most amazing fictional heroines ever and for some reason this URL wasn’t taken!

18.) Following – 318

19.) Followers – 1,524

20.) Favourite colours – Luminous evening blue, emerald green, scarlet

21.) Average hours of sleep – 6-7 hours. I really need to go to bed earlier during the week. I’m so tired all the time.

22.) Lucky number – 13. 

23.) Instruments I played – Nowadays I mostly sing but I used to be really good at the violin and I feel guilty about not playing any more. Also the piano but not very well. And I played the trumpet for a year when I was a child.

24.) What am I wearing – Jeans, white top with a blue floral pattern, socks, glasses, watch, necklace and stud earrings.

25.) How many blankets I sleep with – One duvet.

26.) Dream job – Successful novelist who also writes TV screenplays. With a side of travel blogging. I’m doing so well at achieving any of these dreams. :/

27.) Dream trip – OMG I have so many. I have serious wanderlust. Currently I’m eyeing Argentina for next summer - I have cousins there and I could stay with them for a while. I’ve started doing a bit of research and Argentina looks so amazing! I’d also really like to go to Russia, especially St Petersburg, but I’m wondering if it’d be a good idea to go to St Petersburg as a solo female traveller. I’d also like to do the Trans-Siberian Express but I don’t want to do that on my own. I’m really curious about Central Asia and I want to go to Kazakhstan and explore the Silk Road. I really, really need to learn Russian! I also want to go to Hong Kong. And I want to return to Australia, both to Melbourne, Adelaide and Sydney because I love them so much but also see more of the rest of the country. I’d love to road trip across the USA and see San Francisco and the West Coast. I’d love to explore more of the Middle East. I want to see Petra and Beirut and Ephesus and return to Israel and spend more time in Jerusalem. I very much want to go to Egypt and Morocco. I want to explore southern Spain (I can’t believe I’ve never been to Spain before!) and see Cordoba and Seville and the Moorish sites there. I’ve also never been to Vienna and I’d really like to. And even closer to home, I’d like to do the coast road around the Scottish coast from Edinburgh to Glasgow. Basically I want to go to SO MANY PLACES.

28.) Favourite food –  roast potatoes.

29.) Nationality – British. Culturally - half English, half Hungarian Jewish. 

30.) Favourite song – oh that changes so much! Maybe Mamma Mia for how many times I can listen to it on repeat while still smiling.

Tagging anyone who wants to do it! :)

Star Asks

I’m answering these all for my silly wife whom i love this is for you @angeltendou

-Mercury: What’s your full name? Lmao I know I have like 30 million last names but as far as what most people (and I) know it’s AnaSofia Gonzalez.

-Venus: What’s your first language? Spanish lmao there are videos of me singing as a child in Spanish and I’m just like damn ok

-Earth: Where’s your home? Idk I guess it’s just a feeling but I feel at home wherever I’m safe, warm, and happy and I think I’ve found that with certain people which both terrifies me and makes me wanna cry but thanks to those people

-Mars: What’s your sexuality? Lol, I’m gay as fuck

-Jupiter: Do you have any siblings? Technically, I have one, by blood. If I’m speaking from the heart, I have a person who I consider no less, if anything much more than a sibling, so I’m going to say 2.

-Saturn: Any pets? Yes, a silly little cocker spaniel named Dobby (bc I’m a nerd)

-Uranus: What’s your hobby? Writing, which I do love, but haven’t done much of lately, I’m sad to say

-Neptune: When’s your birthday? September 23

-Pluto: What time is it right now where you are? 11:43 pm

-Moon: What are you currently studying/hope to study? I’ve always wanted to major in writing and write my own novels, although, as of late, I’ve taken to a deep fascination of space and the sky and what lies beyond, and though science is not my forte I may look towards studying that as well. I’m also yearning to learn Italian.

-Sun: Have you ever had alcohol? Once, at a party at my grandparents house, I thought this mysterious drink on the counter was one my favorite sodas, Colombiana, but I wasn’t sure; so, to make sure it was before I poured myself some, I put my finger to the nozzle where there was a drop of it and tasted it. It was disgusting, and certainly not Colombiana. As it turns out, it was beer. Other than that, no.

-Sirius: Have you ever failed a class? Nope

-Rigel: Have you ever gone on a rollercoaster? Yes, several, and I find them quite fun, although the sever anxiety I have before riding them could be left out, preferably. 

-Deneb: Have you ever been out of your home country? Yes, several times. I spent a month in Colombia with my cousins, then returned a year later for a wedding. Also, as a baby, I’ve been told I went to the Dominican Republic. I’m going to England in the summer.

-Arcturus: Have you ever cried out of something other than sadness? Tears are second-nature to me, as free flowing as the blood in my veins. I’ve cried of fear, anger, frustration, happiness, guilt, out of being overwhelmed, out of feeling trapped, out of loss, out of complete gratitude and vulnerability to another person. Yes.

-Betelgeuse: What’s something you can never forget about? I still have petty grudges for people I’ll never see again, real grudges for what someone has done to hurt me. I suppose a profound memory and the one that comes to mind when presented with this question is when I locked myself in the bathroom out of a paralyzation of fear and cried.

-Aldebaran: What’s something you care desperately about? My friends, and their well-being and happiness.

-Canopus: Have you ever broken a bone? No sirree

-Bellatrix: Have you ever been forced to lie/keep a secret? Oh, all the time.

-Alphard: Have you ever lost a friend? Yes, we were incredibly close, and although we still talk it’s like there’s a big cloud above us and you know it’ll never be quite what it once was.

-Vega: What’s something you’ve done that you wish you hadn’t? At the moment I can’t think of any Profound Regrets, but I do wish I were less shy and spoke my mind more often than I do.

-Centaurus: Favorite holiday? Halloween!

-Orion: Favorite month? Honestly, every month past August is Party Time; I particularly love October 

-Cassiopeia? Favorite book? Hoo boy ok. I love all the Harry Potter books and most everything Rick Riordan writes but apart from that (which goes on my Pedestal of Incredible); The Song of Achilles broke my heart but it was gorgeous and I’m in love; also, Rainbow Rowell’s novels sweep my soul away and they too are lovely.

-Delphinus: Favorite study? I love space and the stars + Greek/Roman/Egyptian/Norse/etc myths captivate my soul and I’m infatuated with them

-Hercules: Favorite instrument? Hoooo bOy, ok: the drums are incredible and I love the rhythm and beat they provide, b u t, the violin is incredibly gorgeous and elegant, the piano is hypnotizing, and basically those are my faves.

-Gemini: Favorite song? Idk?? Honestly, it changes depending on what I’m listening to, but as of now I love Dear Theodosia 

-Pegasus: Favorite place to be? I love the space on top of my roof + the warm happy feeling of wherever I am w a friend

-Libra: Favorite color? All colors are beautiful but as of late I love green and mint green and every shade of green; I’m also in love with the infinite blue of the sky

-Phoenix: Favorite thing to wear? Jeans, sweater, socks (if shoes are required, then sneakers)

-Aries: Favorite movie? I don’t really have one because every movie I watch that I like I go “tHIS IS MY FAVE!!” but Captain America; Civil War broke my heart and I loved it, accompanied with Rogue One so I’m going with that

-Cyngus: Favorite weather? I like it when it’s really cold and windy, and light rain with no thunder or lightning is good. I also like cloudy and sunny, or just bright and sunny but not too hot; raining while the sun is shining is perfect

-Hydra: Favorite sound? Friend’s laughter is gorgeous, really pretty music, rain

-Milky Way: Who’s your oldest friend? My (unbiological but still) sister of 9 years

-Andromeda: Do you consider yourself social? Hell no, but with certain people I’ll chat your ear off and they’re the ones who matter

-Black Eye Galaxy: Do you believe in love at first sight? I mean...no? It takes me to get to know someone first and be friends before I develop any sort of remotely romantic feeling, so at least not for me

-Cartwheel Galaxy: When was your first kiss? I’ll get back to you when it happens ;D

-Cigar Galaxy: How’s your flirting skills? I’ve recently discovered that I actually do flirt without realizing, but through texting, so I suppose I’m rather decent,,(?) In a verbal conversation, however, absolute rubbish I guarantee it (not that I’ve tried)

-Comet Galaxy: Have you ever had to leave a relationship because someone changed too much? I’ll get back to you once i’m in or have been in a relationship ;D

-Pinwheel Galaxy: Would you date the last person you talked to? Absolutely

-Sombrero Galaxy: Do you have a crush right now? ;D

-Bode’s Galaxy: Have you ever had a secret admirer? Not that I know of

-Sunflower Galaxy: Would you date/make friends with someone out of pity? Fuck no

-Tadpole Galaxy: Would you deny a relationship/friendship? Does this mean turn someone down? Yes?

-Whirlpool Galaxy: Have you ever cried over a breakup? Yes, but not one of romantic kind

-Comet: What’s your big dream? I have several, however unrealistic they may be. I want to grow up to be happy, to be in a committed, healthy, and loving relationship with another person, and for them to be happy too. I want to write a book, or books, that inspire people and mean something to them, something they love and cherish with characters they’ll fall in love with, something that will make them love reading and do what many authors have done for me. I also wanna make a change in the world, somehow do something profound that’ll make life better for people in need. Lastly, and perhaps the most far-fetched of all, I wanna explore space? Not just our solar system or Mars, but full-on Star Trek explore; I want to be alive when/if portals are made to explore deep space and learn more about what’s out there and contact alien life.

-Meteor: What’s something you wish you could tell, but can’t? I wish I could tell my family, more importantly my immediate family, that I’m gay

-Nebula: if you could undo one thing in your life, what would it be? My birth idk

-Shooting Star: If you could bring back one thing what would it be? Um idk, my motivation to do things? Happiness?

-Pulsar: What do you hope to do in the next 10 years? Experience things and learn more things about myself and who I am, go through my Angsty Teen Discovery moment, and just enjoy life. Vote, drive, fall in love, get into college, graduate highschool.

-Supernova: What’s one thing you want to do before you die? See the world/explore space

-Quasar: If you could spend the rest of your life with only one person, who would it be? nOPE

-Wormhole: What’s something you wish would happen, but know won’t? Portals are invented and my Space Princess and I become astronauts and explore space!

-Black Hole: What’s the last thing you want to see? Everyone safe and happy, no hate, everyone living harmoniously regardless or race, religion, gender or lack thereof, or sexuality

so all of the space my boy

f u c c t h i s

Planets: Life

Mercury: What’s your full name?

I’m not posting that jazz online

Venus: What’s your first language?

English

Earth: Where’s your home?

FL

Mars: What’s your sexuality?

Good question dood

Jupiter: Do you have any siblings?

Yepper

Saturn: Any pets?

Yepper

Uranus: What’s your hobby?

Drawing and Photography

Neptune: When’s your birthday?

November

Pluto: What time is it right now where you are?

9:51pm

Moon: What are you currently studying/hope to study?

Metalsmithing

Stars: Experiences

Sun: Have you ever had alcohol?

Nah

Sirius: Have you ever failed a class?

Yea

Rigel: Have you ever gone on a rollercoaster?

Yea

Deneb: Have you ever been out of your home country?

Nah

Arcturus: Have you cried out of something other than sadness?

Yea

Betelgeuse: What’s something you can never forget about?

Whenever someone in public sees me trying to take a lowkey pic of them 

Aldebaran: What’s something you care desperately about?

My friends

Canopus: Have you ever broken a bone?

Nah

Bellatrix: Have you ever been forced to lie/keep a secret?

Yea

Alphard: Have you ever lost a friend?

Yea

Vega: What’s something you’ve done that you wish you hadn’t?

Idk a lot

Constellations: Favourites

Centaurus: Favourite holiday?

Halloween cause scary movies yo

Orion: Favourite month?

December

Cassiopeia: Favourite book?

Going Bovine

Delphinus: Favourite study?

Idk

Hercules: Favourite instrument?

Idk

Gemini: Favourite song?

That jazz changes daily, but rn it’s “Aunt Rhody”, because i’m a fucken bum ass nerd

Pegasus: Favourite place to be?

My room or the park on a nice day

Libra: Favourite colour?

light blue

Phoenix: Favourite thing to wear?

A large t-shirt and my gym shorts

Aries: Favourite movie?

5th Element

Cygnus: Favourite weather?

Dark rainy/snowy

Hydra: Favourite sound?

My compulsive repetitive snapping

Galaxies: Love/Friends  

Milky Way: Who’s your oldest friend?  

Alyssa and Randi

Andromeda: Do you consider yourself social?

Nah

Black Eye Galaxy: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Nah

Cartwheel Galaxy: When was your first kiss?

I was like 4

Cigar Galaxy: How’s your flirting skills?

Shit

Comet Galaxy: Have you ever had to leave a relationship because someone changed too much?

Nah

Pinwheel Galaxy: Would you date the last person you talked to?

I did once, I don’t think i would again

Sombrero Galaxy: Do you have a crush right now?

My gf dood

Bode’s Galaxy: Have you ever had a secret admirer?

I guess??

Sunflower Galaxy: Would you date/make friends with someone out of pity?

I’d rather not

Tadpole Galaxy: Would you deny a relationship/friendship?

I don’t understand the question

Whirlpool Galaxy: Have you ever cried over a breakup?

OOOhhOHHOH hell yea

Other stuff: Wishes

Comet: What’s your big dream?

It live in an apartment and have enough money to fed me and my cats

Asteroid: What does your dream life look like?

This is basically the same question?

Meteor: What’s something you wish you could tell, but can’t?

Idk

Nebula: If you could undo one thing in your life, what would it be?

Sure I got a lot of regrets but the butterfly effect scares me too much for me to answer this

Shooting Star: If you could bring back one thing, what would it be?

All the socks i’ve lost

Pulsar: What do you hope to do in the next 10 years?

Die

Supernova: What’s one thing you want to do before you die?

Die

Quasar: If you could spend the rest of your life with only one person, who would it be?

Alyssa prolly

Wormhole: What’s something you wish would happen, but know won’t?

For me to get rich off my art

Black Hole: What’s the last thing you want to see?

My cats and plants

halley’s comet and other extenuating circumstances ch. 2

read on ao3

The diner is empty. 

The laminated sign in the window — decorated for the season with one, shiny, pumpkin sticker grinning jovially — reads ‘open’ in black, block letters but this early, people are still respecting what they think is common courtesy and staying away until a more agreeable hour. 

Which is fine by Lexa because she gets paid either way; whether she’s pouring coffee or finishing the Calculus B homework Clarke lured her away from last night — cheeks flushed and still in her uniform from practice—in a booth in the corner. She runs a finger over the mauve bruise on her jaw at the thought. 

(If Gus has noticed, he’s had the grace not to say anything). 

“Did you know Venus is the hottest planet in the solar system?” 

“No.” 

“It has the average surface temperature of four-hundred and fifty degrees Celsius.” 

“That makes sense,” Clarke says: “‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’.”

“Are you saying that the temperature of a planet six-hundred and twelve miles away is dictated by your sexual preferences?” 

“Are you calling yourself hot?” 

Clarke grins — game set and match — and Lexa feels herself falling for her a little harder. 

In the month since Clarke invited her to the game, her life has become a John Huges cliché; they have graduated from car-pooling to holding hands to kissing beneath the bleachers after cheer-practice and it’s safe to say it has given Lexa whiplash. Not the bad kind though—if there is such a thing—but the kind that she imagines you would get if you got on a roller coaster without strapping in, or even expecting to get on a roller coaster in the first place. 

Clarke is her roller coaster and Lexa was so wholly unprepared for her to appear when she did, Lexa’s head hit the back of her seat and she hasn’t stopped feeling dizzy for it since. 

She watches Clarke rest her sneaker on the worn, laminate cushion of the booth, a windbreaker—turquoise and blue with the logo of a brand Anya drools over when they drive to the outlets two towns over on the sleeve—over her t-shirt and jeans and she looks prettier now, drenched in weak Fall sunlight, with syrup on her fingers, than Lexa has ever seen her. Which includes the moments she’s spent sitting on the end of Lexa’s bed with her arms crossed over her pale-pink bra and her lip gloss on her chin, flushing prettily while Anya berated them for going at it too loudly. 

It's game day today—Fridays still don’t agree with her but they have gotten more manageable now that she has a reason to partake in the festivities, even if her reason is more the half-time show than the game itself—but Clarke has forgone her uniform for the morning at lease. Instead, it sits beside her in her gym bag, waiting until after her morning student council meeting to be put on and Lexa thinks she’s relieved. Not because she doesn’t like Clarke’s uniform but just the opposite.

“It’s a joke that that book spent a hundred days on the bestseller list,” she clears her throat, copying a problem from her textbook into her spiral, worried she’s thinking too loudly. When she looks up, Clarke has her cheek in her hand and is grinning at her. 

“What?” Lexa asks. 

“Nothing.” 

“Clarke.” 

“Nuh-uh.” 

Lexa nudges her under the table and Clarke squints at her happily. Her chin slides off the bracket of her palm and she sits up, placing her hands on either side of her plate of hotcakes as she leans over the table to kiss her—a sticky-sweet kiss that tastes like syrup and toothpaste somewhere beyond that. It’s slow and sweet, filling Lexa up with liquid sunshine from the pit of her belly to the top of her ears until all she can feel is Clarke’s grin against her mouth. She can hear footsteps somewhere beyond their booth—Gus probably—and when she starts paying attention again, back from the faraway planet that the feeling of Clarke beneath her fingers always sends her to, their teeth knock. 

Clarke leans back on her hands and Lexa goes to apologise when she sees her lips curl under her teeth. She smiles down at her breakfast—the picture of a naughty bashful school girl—as Gus meanders past with a rack of dirty mugs, doing his best imitation of ignorance. 

It isn’t convincing in the slightest. 

“You’re coming tonight, right?” Clarke asks when he’s gone, lowering herself back to her seat. One foot sits propped up on the bench of the booth and the other remains under the table to play footsie with Lexa’s.   

“If you want me to,” Lexa says softly as if worried if she speaks too loudly the sunshine will drain away and she will have to wait the minutes until Clarke sees fit to kiss her again, cold and sunshine-less. The thought almost doesn’t bear thinking about. It reminds her of the excruciating minutes between AP English and Biology—the only passing period in the school day when she and Clarke don’t manage to find each other—and it’s excruciating.   

“‘Course,” Clarke says executively. “We have to plan our costumes.” 

“Costumes?” 

“Costumes.” Clarke quirks her brow cheekily. 

A phone alarm goes off before Lexa can ask anymore and Clarke rummages through her backpack to silence it, checking the time as she does. “Shoot. I need to go.” She swings her backpack over her shoulder, then her gym bag and pries two ten dollar notes out of her bi-fold, handing them to Lexa as she slides out of the booth. 

“I’ll see you at lunch?” she asks, kissing Lexa on the cheek. 

“Yeah,” Lexa nods, then looks down at the money in her hand. It’s too much for breakfast. “Clarke—” 

“The tip’s for my waitress,” she grins, waving to Gus who looks up from where he’s studiously stacking glasses by the counter as she goes. “Tell her I think she’s cute.” 

//

Lexa isn’t nervous about the pumpkin patch until she hears people talking about it. 

(Well, that’s a lie, because the day she isn’t nervous about spending time with Clarke is the day that the stars descend from the heavens). 

When Clarke first brought it up over lunch with Octavia and Lincoln, it didn’t seem like it would be any different from their breakfasts at the diner or their study dates that turn very quickly from English to Biology of the kind that probably won’t be tested on the SATs. In fact, when she was younger she loved Halloween for that very reason. She remembers Anya saving quarters their parents gave her for taking out the trash to buy them tickets for the kid’s haunted hayride the Greens put on every year, presenting Lexa with her ticket and paper bag of candy corn like she was bestowing her sister a great honour. 

Then, Anya started the sixth grade and suddenly, the thought of a kid’s anything was morally reprehensible, let alone sitting in a moving vehicle for any length of time longer than the eight-minute drive to school. Lexa made a habit of being busy on Halloween after that. 

She thought the function of it remained the same though, no matter how many years she missed sitting in her room streaming Scream one through four on her laptop. Or at least she did until her calculus substitute let the class dissolve into a rapturous discussion of who had invited who to the pumpkin patch and, suddenly, it seemed like the most important thing in the world — more important than Spanish homework or SAT prep. 

It makes her panic as she stands in her room after school, surrounded by the casualties of an uncharacteristic rampage through her closet. The white and green of her Polis High School debate team has been relegated to beneath her bed. So has her track uniform and instead, every dress, skirt, shirt and sweater she owns lies trampled beneath her socked feet.

Lexa never saw herself as someone who would participate in the trashy, teen-film cliche of changing thirty-two times before going out but she thinks she understands the necessity of it now. This is a date — an honest to God date. Since Clarke asked her to the football game they’ve been falling into things without thinking about them — falling into hanging out after cheer practice, falling into eating in the cafeteria together at lunch, falling into the routine of having breakfast together at the diner on Friday morning while Lexa works a shift — but this is premeditated and it makes her nervous. 

In the end, she goes to Anya for help, who looks at Lexa past her mascara wand when she asks to borrow her clothes in the same way she would if Lexa told her she was quitting model UN to join the prom committee. 

“I thought you didn’t go out on Halloween,” she says, returning the wand to its tube and setting it on her vanity between a mug of makeup brushes and a jewellery stand. She has a t-shirt on and a towel wrapped around her head — halfway to getting ready for a date with Raven — and Lexa squirms in the doorway, looking for familiarity among the gauzy curtains and framed prints on the wall. She thinks she can see the edges of a mural they painted in elementary school hidden beneath the edge of an Urban Outfitters tapestry. 

“Clarke invited me to the pumpkin patch.” 

Anya doesn’t seem to need any more explanation than that. Her lips curl into a smile and she rises from her desk, herding Lexa towards her closet where she pulls two hangers off the rack and holds them up to her. After a moment, she puts them back, sending Lexa to her room for a pair of jeans and when Lexa returns, a tight, white longs-sleeve and a cable-knit jacket sit on the bed. She hands them both to Lexa, nodding in approval once she’s changed. 

It’s the most sisterly thing Lexa thinks they’ve done in a long time. Anya pulls the wrinkles out of her shirt and tucks the hem into Lexa’s jeans, maneuvering her in front of the mirror like she would when Lexa was seven years old and being bribed with Birthday Cake Pop-Tarts to be her dress-up doll. 

She sits down obediently on Anya’s desk chair when she’s asked, parting her lips for Anya to apply a coat of lip gloss she isn’t sure she asked for and staring at the join in the ceiling Anya points out as she pulls out a tube of mascara and, by the time she’s done, Lexa feels even more nervous than she did to start off with. 

“We don’t do this very much,” Anya says once she's satisfied with her handiwork and miming rubbing her lips together to blot the lip gloss. Lexa follows suit, looking past her sister at her own reflection in the mirror atop Anya’s dresser. 

“You’re busy I guess,” she shrugs, which isn’t exactly a lie, but it’s also the favourite excuse for not doing things in their family, from Sunday night dinners to the summer vacations they took annually before their father got promoted. 

They are busy though, Lexa reasons — Anya with cheerleading and Lexa with everything else — it’s OK not to be living in each other's pockets. They were close when they were younger — inseparable actually as if Anya was trying to make up for the fact that they were half-sisters by being twice as involved — but school only seemed to exacerbate the distance between them. 

“Not too busy to be your sister though,” Anya challenges, stern-faced and Lexa smiles in spite of herself. “OK?”

“OK,” Lexa nods, rolling her eyes as Anya chucks her chin. Her phone vibrates in her pocket and she fishes it out, reading Clarke’s message — ‘I’ll meet u at the diner after your shift <3’ — and smiling. 

When she looks up, Anya is watching her with a mixture of fondness and exasperation. She hands her the tube of lip gloss she used and flicks Lexa’s hair behind her ears before shooing her out of her room with a shake of her head and a “go meet your girlfriend, Lexa” and this time, Lexa complies. 

//

“Could I get two ciders please?” Clarke asks, leaning on the toes of her sneakers to reach the vendor, the sleeve of her jacket falling down her arm as she hands a twenty dollar note over the lip of the trailer’s window. 

(Strike breakfast, Lexa thinks, thoroughly flustered beneath Anya’s jacket and the thin layer of makeup her sister had insisted on, this is the prettiest Clarke has ever been. Lexa would trade this morning’s syrup-stick kisses for Clarke’s chapped cheeks and the palm of her free hand pressed flush to Lexa’s own any day).  

“I’ll pay!” She says, lunging forward and replacing Clarke’s rolled up note with one from her bi-fold, flattening it against the side of the truck before handing it over. 

“You don’t have to—” Clarke tries to argue, mouth thinning into a pout when Lexa bats her away and accepts two take-out cups and a paper bag of apple cider doughnuts that feel warm in her hands. 

“I got a big tip from a pretty girl today,” Lexa explains, shrugging as the wander back towards the picnic table Octavia has saved for them along the fence-line. 

“A pretty girl? Should I be worried?” Clarke teases. 

“Probably not,” Lexa reasons slyly, watching as Clarke drops her jaw in faux-outrage. 

“Watch it, Woods,” she says. “Or this’ll be the last time I invite you out on a nice date.” 

There’s that word again, Lexa thinks — date — and it makes her stomach knot even more than it already had on the twenty-minute drive here. 

This is certainly the most date-like that hanging out with Clarke has ever felt, from the way Gus had acted like a proud father hanging his daughter off to her homecoming date when Clarke came in to pick her up at the end of her shift — ‘your face,’ he’d said, pointing to the mascara on Lexa’s lashes and the shine of gloss on her lips, ‘you look…very grown-up’ — to the way they had driven here with their fingers linked over the gear stick. 

Even paying for Clarke’s drink feels oddly official — so far they’ve stuck to paying for their own meals at breakfast or football games, or if they share a milkshake they split the bill down the middle — and it’s scary in a way Lexa hasn’t quite found anything scary before. 

(It makes her feel grown-up when she thinks about it. Strangely permanent like none of her extracurriculars, good grades on the fridge or compliments from her parents ever have. Like, if she looks back at this moment in ten years, she will see herself here holding hands with Clarke beneath the Jack-O-Lantern lights and it will be as clear as it is to her now). 

“So’re we doing the maze?” Octavia asks eagerly as they sit down — Clarke sliding onto the bench on the same side as Lexa instead of opposite her as she would in a booth at the diner. It makes heat bloom through her body despite the evening chill. 

It’s nearly six o’clock now, and the string lights threaded overhead paints the twilight yellow and gold and flickering orange. To their left, the fields of pumpkins have almost fallen into darkness while, to their right, the Green’s barn is lit up, the lopsided scarecrow Lexa remembers from her childhood Halloweens sitting atop a pumpkin pyramid outside. 

Every few minutes a shrill scream will come from the direction of the maze and a terrified teenager will come running out of the exit, laughing and gasping for breath, happy to be back amongst the relative safety of the throng of families and little girls in Elsa dresses milling about in the light. 

Lexa doesn’t think any part of it appeals to her. She hasn’t stepped foot inside a haunted attraction since she was eight years old and facing her first Halloween without Anya’s coat sleeve to cling to — the jump scares in Scream are thrill enough for her — but when Clarke nods, and Octavia and Lincoln do too, she doesn’t have any choice but to say yes. 

Grinning, Clarke takes a sip of her cider before she slides a cold hand beneath Lexa’s jacket and fastens her fingers in her belt loop, leaning her head against Lexa’s shoulder. When she leans up a moment later to kiss Lexa gratefully she tastes like hot cider and allspice and the fake strawberry flavour of her lip balm Lexa has come to know.  

Words roll around in her head — words like date and girlfriend — but the longer she finds Clarke pressed against her, warm and real and present in a way Lexa never could have imagined her to be when she watched her sip her root beer floats from behind the counter on game days, the more she finds her fear draining away. By the time their ciders are finished and their doughnuts have been eaten and Lexa is standing in front of the maze, staring at the gruesome party store prop poised over the entrance, she doesn’t think it even existed in the first place.

“Are we doing it together or separately?” Lincoln asks, handing out the slips of paper and plastic Bic pens for the scavenger hunt. 

“Separately,” Octavia says immediately, sliding under her boyfriend’s arm in a way that makes Lexa think she’s going to use the opportunity to find a quiet annex on the far side of the maze and make out. 

“Don’t worry,” Clarke whispers when Lexa blanches at the thought — every horror movie ever made says splitting up in a corn maze is begging to be hunted down by a masked psychopath. “I’ll protect you.”

(It occurs to Lexa as she’s being pulled through the darkness that she’ll never stop finding extenuating circumstances for Clarke).

I'm not very particular about asking questions so i'm just gonna ask you all of those space related asks that you reblogged earlier. do you know which ones im on about?xx

Yes yes, I know, it’s a long list haha!! xx 

pluto: what do you love most about yourself?Erm, it probably sounds ridiculous but I really like my personality. Because it’s the only part of me that I’ve really come to terms with, it’s the one thing that I know isn’t going to change and I’m not afraid to admit the things I’m passionate about… haha 

mars: who is your ideal best friend? I have the most terrible habit of distancing myself when I start to feel insecure or second guess myself, which is a problem. My ideal best friend would understand when I get upset over something small and simple and instead of argue, they’d ignore it and help me talk through what’s really bothering me. Other than that, I guess I just want someone that I really feel like I can trust. Someone that knows me really well that when I act a certain way, they understand, it’s just my insecurities getting to me. 

earth: what’s your ideal home? I don’t want something huge. I’d want a small lakehouse, with a roaring fire and a cozy kitchen, a big library and lots of windows and a porch so I can sit and watch the rain. 

 Saturn: what’s your aesthetic?Erm, coffee, rain, cute blue colours and large sweaters, old books and sarcastic quips. 

 Jupiter: if you could choose your own name, what would it be?Oh god, anything but what I was given at birth. I don’t know, maybe, Carmen or Allison. 

neptune: what’s an album that you can listen through entirely w/o skipping songs?Literally any of the Lana Del Rey albums, Halsey’s badlands and The 1975 album. 

venus: go to piece of clothing/outfit? A sweater black leggings and star wars socks (of which I have plenty) 

mercury: what’s something you couldn’t live without? My books. Without a doubt. 

uranus: what’s your zodiac sign? Aquarius. My birthday is coming up on the 27th. Yay! 

 the moon: favourite quote?My favourite quote is from my favourite poem ‘There Will Come Soft Rain’ by Sara Teasedale 

 “Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree, If mankind perished utterly;  

 And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn Would scarcely know that we were gone” 

 Seems a little depressing haha, but I find it so beautiful. 

 the sun: what motivates you? Erm, besides spite haha. A few things, fear, hope, dreams. So many! 

 kepler-22b: if you could go anywhere, where would it be/why?I really want to go to Canada. No where in particular but there are so many beautiful areas and I love the outdoors so much! 

 phobos: what was your favourite song as a child? Bruce Springsteen- Dancing in the Dark. What can I say, my mum has fantastic taste in music! 

ceres: out of everyone/thing in this world, who would you elect president? Oh god, it’s a toss up between Michelle Obama or Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. No question at all. 

 titan: if you could dye your hair any colour and pull it off, what would it be?I pulled off blue quite nicely but I think, maybe, bright orange. Like a blinding bright as hell orange. 

 callisko: what’s your ideal job?I just want to stay in my lake house in the quiet, with a cup of coffee and I want to write. I was to publish books that make people feel the same way books make me feel. 

enceladus: who is your favourite person? What are they like?My favourite person is my mom. She can be a pain sometimes, but she’d do absolutely anything for me. And she’s so patient, she understand better than most parents would, she understand my problems that I don’t tell her about and she understands that it’s hard for me to open up properly and so she lets me know that it’s okay and that I don’t need to use my words, because she understands. Oh wow. That was deep. 

hyperion: do you have a favourite store/shop?Starbucks counts, i’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. Waterstones is a must because… books; and lush because they have the best things ever. I could spend millions in there! 

comet: what’s your biggest secret? Oh hell, if I’m completely honest? I’m grateful for the things I have now, the “friends” I have left from high school. But if I’d never met any of them, I don’t think i’d be too bothered. It sounds harsh but there are so many reasons. My college friends on the other hand, the perfect example of friends and I’m thankful I met them. 

 asteroid: what’s your biggest fear? Is there a reason why you’re scared of it?Spiders. Any kind, big or small. I had an awful experience once and that just added on to the fact that I wasn’t keen on them in the first place. I’m also terrified of large area’s of water because I was almost drowned when I was 7. 

shooting star: who is your ideal s/o?My ideal significant other would be Peter Parker… but he’s fictional, so, I guess my type is cute and nerdy, someone who is willing to push me to be better rather than drag me down, someone who is always going to be supportive. I guess, just someone i’ll be enough for… 

Wow that was a lot… I think it’s safe to say, you probably know me better than most people ever have haha xx

I'm not sure if you wanted the ask thingie but all of them!!

AHHHH ANON WHY. 1. What is your middle name?- My middle name is Nicole !!2. How old are you?- I turned 20 in February lolz3. When is your birthday?- Feb 19 !!! 4. What is your zodiac sign?- I'm a pisces but mainly air/fire dominant. 5. What is your favorite color?- Pink !! But like a really soft pink. 6. What's your lucky number?- I don't really have a lucky number but I would say either 2 or 11. 7. Do you have any pets?- My family has a female blue-nose pit bull and a baby female calico cat !!8. Where are you from?- I'm from Rosemead, California but I moved to Las Vegas, Nevada in 2nd grade. So I'm basically from Vegas. 9. How tall are you?- I'm 4'11. Short, I know. 10. What shoe size are you?- Usually a size 5 but sometimes a size 6 !11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?- 4 pairs of sneakers, 4 pairs of heels/bootie/wedge, 1 pair of sandals, and 1 pair of flats. 12. What was your last dream about?- I don't remember it but it was a mix of bts and my boyfriend. 13. What talents do you have?- I can pinch with my toes buuuut I think that's it ??? "Photography and you have an eye for fashion." ~ my boyfriend14. Are you psychic in any way?- Uhmmmm not really ? I just have a strong intuition when things feel like it'll go wrong or for certain situations. 15. Favorite song?- I don't have one favorite so here's too 5: All My Friends by Snakehips, Hard Times by Paramore, Stand Tall by Childish Gambino, Autumn Leaves by BTS, Photograph by offnoff16. Favorite movie?- I don't have one either so here's 5: All Harry Potter movies, One Day, Comet, Stardust, August Rush. 17. Who would be your ideal partner?- Namjoon from BTS oooooorr my boyfriend. Either or. 😁18. Do you want children?- One day !! I want 3 kids. Two my own, one adopted. But I would adopt more maybe after them. 19. Do you want a church wedding?- It doesn't really matter to me honestly. But I mainly want an outside wedding. 20. Are you religious?- Not anymore! Mainly spiritual. 21. Have you ever been to the hospital?- Yes I have! Quite a few times actually. 22. Have you ever gotten in trouble with the law?- Nope. I'm a good girl! ;P23. Have you ever met any celebrities?- I met Frankie J actually when I went to a Baby Bash concert. And thennnnn I met Go Radio I think they're name was. 24. Baths or showers?- I prefer to just shower but baths are nice. 25. What color socks are you wearing?- I'm not wearing socks right now. 26. Have you ever been famous?- Nooo????27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?- No lol. I'd want to be like slightly famous but not to where I'm bothered by people all the time. 28. What type of music do you like?- Any!! It really just depends on the song. I mainly listen to kpop, acoustic, alternative, hip hop, rap, r&b, SoundCloud type music, indie/indie pop, aaaaand that's all I can think of right now. 29. Have you been skinny dipping?- I haaaaaaaave but it was weird lol. 30. How many pillows do you sleep with?- I like sleeping with two pillows but right now I only sleep with one. 31. What position do you usually sleep in?- Fetal position mostly but I'm also comfortable sleeping on my back and hugging my pillow. 32. How big is your house?- It's an average sized house. 33. What do you typically have for breakfast?- I don't really like breakfast foods. Lol34. Have you ever fired a gun?- A paintball gun and a BB gun but that's it. 35. Have you ever tried archery?- Once! At camp and a few times in P.E.36. Favorite clean word?- Plump!!! It's so fun to say. Try it!!37. Favorite swear word?- Uhhhhhh.... I don't really have one bc I try not to cuss lol38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?- Maybe like 2 or 3 days?39. Do you have any scars?- I have lots because I'm very super clumsy. 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?- Not that I know of lolol41. Are you good liar?- I think I am actually! 42. Are you a good judge of character?- For the most part. 43. Can you do any accents other than your own?- I can do a Russian accent when saying vodka but that's all I can do really. 44. Do you have a strong accent?- I don't think so???45. What is your favorite accent?- Scottish, Irish, Southern, and French. 46. What is your personality type?- I'm an ENFP !!! "You're really like a soft kind of bubbly. You're like sunshine to me... I could go on." ~my boyfriend 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?- I'm not quite sure. Maybe my light pink satin bomber jacket?48. Can you curl your tongue?- I can actually !!!49. Are you an innie or an outie?- An innie lol50. Left or right handed?- I'm right handed but slightly ambidextrous. 51. Are you scared of spiders?- Only when they're within my space. Like if I see them in person. 52. Favorite food?- Steak and onion over white rice, Canes, enchiladas, and pork anyhow. 53. Favorite foreign food?- ????? I guess ramen ???? Like actual authentic ramen 54. Are you a clean or messy person?- I'm an organized messy.55. Most used phrase?- "I hate you", "You're so dumb/stupid."56. Most used word?- "Whatever" or "Same"57. How long does it take for you to get ready?- About 30 minutes !58. Do you have much of an ego?- Not really??? I'm not sure. 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?- Mainly biting. >;)60. Do you talk to yourself?- I doooo. Especially when I'm looking for something. 61. Do you sing to yourself?- I hum a lot. I only sing when I think I'm alone or someone won't hear. 62. Are you a good singer?- No. ~ me "Yes." ~ my boyfriend 63. Biggest fear?- I would say fear itself. I'm not really scared of any one thing right off the bat but when I'm in the situation I'd be scared. 64. Are you a gossip?- Sometimes. I mainly listen but I don't tell it to anyone but my close friends. 65. Best dramatic movie you've seen?- It was a Nicholas Sparks movie where her love interest died and her son got his heart as an implant. Also!!! In Your Eyes was really good and cute. 66. Do you like long or short hair?- I prefer short hair !!67. Can you name all 50 states of America?- Why would I when only the states that voted Democratic actually exist? Whoever voted for Trump? Ion know them. 68. Favorite school subject?- Art, English, Social Studies, and Science. 69. Extrovert or Introvert?- Ambivert but leans towards Introvert. 70. Have you ever been scuba diving?- I have not!!!71. What makes you nervous?- Is everything an answer? Just kidding but mainly social situations. 72. Are you scared of the dark?- I used to be, now I thrive in it. 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?- I do but not harshly. I try to be nice about it. 74. Are you ticklish?- I am but only in certain spots. Hint: it's not my tummy. 75. Have you ever started a rumor?- I haven't. I don't see the point in it. 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?- I don't think I've ever been????77. Have you ever drank underage?- All I can say is.... IT'S LIT. 78. Have you ever done drugs?- Nah I don't fw that. 79. Who was your first real crush?- I guess a boy named Jonathon in 2nd grade after I moved to Vegas. 80. How many piercings do you have?- None currently but I had my ears pierced twice. 81. Can you roll your r's?- No I caaaaaaaaaant. :(((((82. How fast can you type?- I used to be able to type fast but now I'm average. I can also text without looking at the screen. 83. How fast can you run?- Not fast bc I can never breathe. 84. What color is your hair?- Dark brown then like a golden blonde at the bottom. 85. What color are your eyes?- Dark brown but sometimes a honey or almond. 86. What are you allergic to?- Cats but I think I'm also allergic to peanuts???87. Do you keep a journal?- I do but it's not like an every day thing. It's a journal for poetry and sketches and whatnot. 88. What do your parents do?- My dad is in Cali and my mom works at a call center asking people surveys. 89. Do you like your age?- It's okay I guess ?? Nothing bad or good about it. 90. What makes you angry?- People acting dumb and playing the victim, people not changing their ways, closeminded-ness, and not taking responsibility for your actions. 91. Do you like your own name?- Only recently. 92. Have you already thought of baby names? And if so, what are they?- I haaaaaave. For a boy I like the name Elijah or Eli. For a girl, I was thinking Marie; after my mom. 93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child?- I don't care what they are. I'll love them either way. 94. What are your strengths?- Uhhhhhh funny, kind, smart, artistic, good with words, and I have a good eye for stuff. 95. What are your weaknesses?- Doubt, impatience, and giving up too easily. 96. How did you get your name?- My mom thought that she couldn't have any more kids. I'm her "angel". 97. Were your ancestors royalty?- I don't know and I don't really care. 98. Do you have any scars?- already answered.99. Color of your bedspread?- Pink, grey, white, black. 100. Color of your room?- I don't have a room but the walls in the living room are white.

Dear Crashpad Diary #20

About -20ºC / Nepal Fashion week / Bhaktapur and the pricey entrance / Momos, momos everywhere / Bowling for thakali Sweeeeet!! this post will be quite short cuz I already have many many things to tell yas about our incredible and epic expedition to the Annapurna Base Camp (AKA ABC)!! You know that when youre travelling you normally don´t get to choose always the apparel… you wear as you go and as the flow dictates… sometimes the laundry takes longer than it should… sometimes they burn your good and only rain coat/ parka…. sometimes… as happened with my friend while we were travelling in Peru… someone steals your clothes from the girl that was supposed to wash them heheheheh And due to the circumstances… we get to the point we just reached over here… when you pass by a mirror and realise that youre looking like a grab a blue and white beanie… black down vest… over a green down jacked… one one those indian trousers in grey, black and purple colours… to finish the best match ever… black boot and red socks…now we can declare the Nepal Fashion week opened!! hahahahah While we were waiting for my bro to get to Kathmandu and our time for the trekking to come we decided to try to get the most out of the time… even though KTM is not a huge city and there is not much to keep a traveller busy for more than 3 days, we did not have other option and went visiting other cities in the valley!! The first city was Bhaktapur… old town with wooden front houses and beautiful temples… the problem… a great problem for backpackers though…. is the price to get in the city… serious… they charge foreigners the exorbitant amount of 1500 rupees… which is around 15 euros… to put your dirty feet in the dirty streets only…. and they don’t even offer a chocolate cake or ice-cream as bonus or sth like that…. they must be crazy hahahah Sadly… this is a usual practice here in Nepal… you get the local price and the tourists prices…. the second one is normally overcharged whereas the locals pay less than 10% of that… when they do!! Fortunately, I´ve been traveling and seen stunning places around the world and I always found cool the way the government in many countries tries to provide the possibility for the local people to visit and value their traditions and history… Like in Chile where you have the prices for Chilean people (cheapest), for the South Americans and another one (a bit more expensive) for the Rest of the World Citizens…. I agree when it is reasonable…. but rip-offs are never cool! Like here…. freaking expensive for foreigners and nothing for locals…. negative point for you Nepal!!! Talking about negative…. we´ve been told that we will face freakin low temperatures during the trek…. up to -20ºC…. brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Get the base layers ready peeps!! =) As we were in the vibe of getting ready for the trip we went down the momo road…. hahahaha If you came to Nepal you know what I´m talking about… momos are fantastically scrumptious and so hard to stop eating… they are like the Chinese guioza (dunno if they are Chinese, neither if I wrote right!! hahha) but the thing is that you find´em everywhere!! There are shops… tents…. trailers… big and small restaurants…. even a Cave… that sells it!! hahahah the other day I opened my locker under my bed and a guy jumped selling it!! hahhahha kidding…. but I don´t doubt!! hahahaha Well… that´s actually a good way to put up weight before going for the expedition hahaha Momos on any kind of flavours…. the best ones off course are the cheese and garlic… veggie…. mushroom… but I heard the potato… paneer… chicken and other ones are great too!! Easily to believe!! =) Also… you have the sauces…. ow the sauces…. they actually challenge the momos to see who is the most tasteful and favourite!! hahahaha yep.. thats our life during the days we are waiting to get to the trekking…. we decided to start on the february the 3rd… till there…. we had loads of days…. loads of momos and any sports at all…. No… in fact thats not true…. I couldn’t climb because of my ribs… but we went for a bowling competition hahaha and whoever wins would get a Takhali (another Nepali dish)…. as prize…. hahaha what else could that be?? hahahahaha Well… Aquarius was aligned with mars and Halley comet was passing by one of the 32 moons of Taurus… I was lucky enough to win by one point!! hahahahah Few more pounds for free on my bellyyyyyyyy =) hahahahaha Days later we went to another nice city that deservers mention…. Kirtipur…. cozy city where we ate Newari Khaja…. by far my favourite Nepali dish!! What a life!! =) And that way we spent the days till Luh got here…. on the 1st!! Sweeeeeeeeeeet…. off we go to Pokhara and starting the trekking of our life…. so far!! That´s it for now!!! Hope you´re great there beasts!! Enjoying life and having fun right?!?!?!?! Just wanna let yous that as Mike Libecki says… “life is good and the moment is now!!” =) Cheers, Evan