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agent-cupcake · 18 days

Text

Ulterior Motives

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f! student Reader

Synopsis: Gojo becomes a little bit infatuated with his bratty new student.

Warnings: Explicit smut, noncon, teacher/student relationship (reader is 18+), possessive behavior, manipulation

Tags: Spanking, panty gag, dacryphilia, dirty talk, vibrators, bondage, orgasm torture, bratty reader, humiliation

Word Count: 24.4k

Notes: This one is for ABanonymous, I hope you didn't mind the wait and I especially hope you enjoy the story. The title IS a reference and if you know, you know.

Next requested fic I will have out next Saturday, and that's a pinky promise.

“Is this seat taken?”

Bored, a little tired, you turned your gaze up to the interloper with a rejection at the ready. You stopped at the cafe to warm up, you weren’t in the most social of moods.

But you didn’t say anything when you saw the speaker. Your lips were parted and ready, but the words puffed out as nothing more than air. There was something wrong about him. If you hadn’t been so utterly—perhaps even willfully—detached from your surroundings, you might have noticed sooner.

It was a trick of yours. Good for interviews, social gatherings, and first impressions. Bad for relationships, communication, and your general interest in other people. The girl with long, straight hair ordering a brown sugar bubble tea was annoyed. The man behind her was texting someone, likely his paramour, because his bad mood was being soothed with excitement and lust. The female half of the couple behind you was excited, her male partner was bored. Those were things you knew. Things you sensed as intuitively as you interpreted sounds from vibrations and visuals from light.

The tall, white-haired man standing above you wearing a dark uniform and white bandage over his eyes was a solid, unreadable wall. The energy surrounding him wasn’t emotional, it was manifested, strong bordering on physical and, most likely, very bad news. You looked around the cafe, searching for some further clues about this utterly bizarre stranger, but nobody else seemed especially interested beyond his odd appearance. You cleared your throat.

“Excuse me, what?” you asked, composing yourself.

“May I sit here?” he asked again, smiling.

This could be interesting. Or bad. You shrugged as if disinterested. “If you want to.”

He took the seat across from you, his smile fixed in place. “Thank you, I can’t stand drinking alone.”

“Of course.”

“I’m Satoru Gojo,” he said, undeterred by your unfriendly demeanor. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

You introduced yourself in turn, smoothing your hair and hoping you didn’t look too terrible. Could he even see you? Somehow, you got the feeling he could, but it didn’t look like the bandage was mesh.

“Did you hear about what happened at the City Central Library?” he asked, bracing his elbow on the table to cradle his head. “Nasty business.”

The words themselves were casual, but they left you with the same feeling as when you got caught sneaking out. That little pang of surprise, a stark interruption of suspense with panic and then a mental scramble as you tried to come up with a believable story that would get you out of trouble.

Did he know? That made the most sense, otherwise it was odd that he’d ask. But if he did know, you had no idea how he could, and had no way to guess how much he knew.

No response was worse than a bad one, so you fell back on the easiest and usually the most effective approach. “What happened?” you asked, furrowing your eyebrows with a vacuously concerned expression. The kind of look that made it seem as if any question was so hopelessly complex, like the slightest problem was simply impossible for a girl as empty-headed as you to grasp.

“There was a gas leak of some kind,” Gojo said, his mouth set into a contemplative line. A second later, that solemn expression melted into a mischievous half-smile. “Rather, that’s what the news will report. We know better, don’t we?”

You frowned, your head tilting to the side and eyes curiously wide. “We do?”

“A curse manifested itself there. Nobody died, but it was close.”

“A curse?” you repeated slowly. “Are you talking about ghosts or something?”

“Something like that.”

You laughed, the light and ditzy airheaded kind of laugh. “Oh, come on. You’re teasing me, aren’t you.”

“When we interviewed the receptionist at the library,” Gojo said, his casual demeanor unaffected by your act, “she mentioned a young woman who stopped by and warned her that something bad was going to happen.”

“Oh?”

“Actually, I have three accounts of people saying that they were contacted before an incident involving a curse occurred. One of the tips was anonymous, but the third was at a construction site. The manager said that a pretty young woman approached him and warned that the conditions would be hazardous and he needed to be very careful. He’s in the hospital now.”

“That’s terrible,” you said, frowning. It was more of a pout, really.

Gojo pulled his phone out of his pocket. He clicked a few things on the screen—so he could see from behind the bandage, how odd—before holding it out for you to look at. It was security footage, presumably from the library. Although the quality was terrible, it didn’t take a genius to recognize that it was you in the video.

“This is from yesterday,” he said. “A curse was exorcized at this library earlier today.” He turned the screen to look at his phone, looking between you and the footage with theatrical scrutiny. “This does look a lot like you.”

“I don’t know who that is, but it can’t be me,” you said, pouting more. “I don’t even have a library card.”

“To be clear, I’m not accusing you of causing these incidents. If I thought you were, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” Gojo told you. He put his phone in his pocket, picking up his drink to mess with the straw. “How long have you been able to see them?”

“See what?”

“Curses. Evil spirits, whatever you like to call them.”

You stared at him for a long moment, trying to decide if you wanted to continue playing dumb. He obviously didn’t believe it. Besides, you were starting to get very curious about this strange not-blind man and the disconcerting amount of information he had about things he shouldn’t.

“As long as I can remember,” you finally answered, dropping the act.

“Do they scare you?” he asked, as unconcerned with your shift in demeanor as he had been with everything else.

“They’re definitely ugly,” you said. Gojo snorted in amusement at that. You looked down to consider a real answer, pushing the chunks of ice at the bottom of your cup around with the straw. “I’m not scared of them. They’re dangerous, but more like how a wild animal is dangerous.”

“Is that why you warn people?”

You shrugged.

“Hmm,” he hummed, stroking his chin thoughtfully, staring at you through the bandage. It really was a creepy feeling. “Something still isn’t adding up. Sorcerers are more likely to come into contact with curses, but you’re not reacting to cursed activity; you’re predicting it. Moreover, the places who reported your warnings have no other connection. It’s unlikely that you were coincidentally nearby to feel the cursed energy.”

“Sorcerers?” you asked, continuing to push your straw around your cup idly, the ice crackling.

“People who can see curses and manipulate cursed energy. You could also call them curse users. Of course, I don’t think you’re either. At least, not yet.” He gestured to you with his drink. “You’re avoiding the question.”

“You didn’t ask me a question.”

“Didn’t I?” he asked with a frown. “Ah, whatever,” he waved it off dismissively. “How are you finding and predicting curses?”

“I use a map,” you told him, like it was obvious. It was obvious to you, at least.

“A map,” he repeated bluntly. Without any aura to read, you wished you could see his eyes at least.

“That’s usually how you find things, isn’t it?”

“You’re saying that you have a map that tells you where curses will manifest?”

“You’re asking a lot of questions,” you said. “I don’t think I should be talking so openly to a strange and mysterious man.”

“Mysterious? I told you, I’m Satoru Gojo,” he said, placing a hand on his chest. “I’m a jujutsu sorcerer and a teacher at Tokyo Prefectural Jujutsu High School. If anything, you’re the strange one for going around cryptically warning people about evil spirits. ”

You narrowed your eyes at him, pursing your lips. The logical part of your mind rejected everything he was saying outright, it sounded made up. Then again, you knew there was some truth to what he was saying, even if the words he used were different than your own. The fact was, it seemed like he had more information than you. You didn’t like that.

“You warn people about these curses in an attempt to protect them,” Gojo said, his tone softening a little as he tried to level with you, “but they never believe you, and so they get hurt anyway. Doesn’t that bother you?”

You shrugged. “It does sound pretty ridiculous.”

“It’s not ridiculous,” Gojo said. “Nobody believes you see the things you see, or that you have a very special gift, but I do. If you tell me how you predict these curses, I’ll teach you how to take care of the problem yourself. More than that, I can teach you how to use your cursed energy to do things nobody else can.”

He had you on the line with that one, and he knew it. You didn’t have to be able to read his aura or look in his eyes to understand that smug grin.

“I read once that mediums could perform a sort of dowsing technique with maps,” you said, giving in. “I’ve always had a knack for divination, so I tried it out. Even with my eyes closed and using different maps, I could reliably find and mark the same spot. It didn’t really turn out how I wanted it to though.”

“How so?”

“You’ve seen TV shows and videos about hauntings where ghost hunters dig up all kinds of scary and interesting stories, right? I was hoping it’d be like that. You know, exciting. Instead I marked a lot of schools and hospitals and that sort of thing.”

“That makes sense,” Gojo said. “Curses tend to congregate in places like that.”

“Well, I was disappointed. But then I started hearing news stories about people getting hurt in places that I marked on my map. I don’t know, I guess I didn’t want it on my conscience.”

Gojo nodded thoughtfully. “This… dowsing ability, can you do it on purpose, or does it happen randomly?”

“What do you mean?”

“If I got you a map right now, could you mark places where a curse will manifest?”

“It depends on if there’s a place on the map where a curse will manifest,” you said.

Rather than get offended by your cheeky response, Gojo carried on. “Are there any locations you’re watching out for at the moment? Other than the library, I mean.”

You considered that question. “I’ll tell you, but if this is for a TV show, I don’t consent to being on camera,” you said. “Not wearing this, at least.”

He laughed. “This is not for a TV show,” Gojo said. “Although, if it was, I don’t know why you would need to change your clothes. You’re cute, the messy look is endearing.”

“Ah, I guess you are blind after all,” you said imperiously, pulling out your phone to find the website of the other place you had marked. “There’s an antique shop. I don’t think anything has happened there yet. I tried calling, but the guy got angry. I guess lots of people try to claim things there are haunted to get a discount or something.”

“Do you have the address?”

“Yep, right… here-” You flipped the screen towards him. He peered at it for a second before smiling again.

“Oh, lucky! I know somebody who should be just nearby.” He pulled out his own phone, dialing a number.

“You said you exorcized the curse at the library,” you said, “will you do it there too?”

“If there’s a curse there, yes.” Gojo pressed call and put his phone to his ear. After a few rings, you heard a voice on the other end. The exchange was short, he gave the address and some words of encouragement. You couldn’t hear specifics, but it didn’t sound like the person was too pleased.

“I don’t know for sure that something is there,” you said after he lowered his phone.

“Have you ever been wrong?”

“I haven’t followed through on every lead,” you said. “There are potentially dozens of times that I’ve been wrong.”

“But all of the ones you’ve tracked have been correct, yes?”

You smiled. “Yes.”

“What an interesting ability,” he cooed. “And you possess a respectable amount of cursed energy. I knew it. You should come to study to be a jujutsu sorcerer.”

“What?”

“I told you that I could teach you how to use your abilities, didn’t I? You’re a bit old to be scouted, but everybody starts somewhere. I think you have the potential to be a great sorcerer.”

“You’re joking.”

“Not at all.”

“You said you teach high school, didn’t you?” you asked, raising your eyebrows. “I’m almost through my third year. It would be strange to transfer so late, I wouldn’t want to do anything to risk my graduation.”

“Do you have plans for after you graduate? Work? University?”

“I’m going to study business.”

“Really? You don’t strike me as the business type.”

You gave him a very flat look. “You don’t strike me as the teacher type.”

Gojo laughed. “You got me there. I’m only saying that you go to university so you can get a job, right? If you study at Jujutsu Tech, you will have a guaranteed job upon graduation.”

“What kind of job?”

“Exorcizing curses, saving the world, that kind of thing,” he said, waving his hand casually. “It’s not something many people can do, you know. You have to be a special mixture of brave and crazy to face curses knowing you could get hurt—knowing that others could get hurt if you fail. It’s tiresome, scary, and you very rarely see much of a reward.”

“You’re not exactly selling this.”

“Really?” Gojo asked. “You look plenty interested to me. You don’t want to live the rest of your life being normal and bored, do you? You’re too special for that.”

You blew out a big breath, trying to think independently of this whole bizarre situation and the fact that his flattery was more effective than it should have been.

“I’m still not sure I believe you,” you said. “Isn’t there some sort of saying that you should never trust somebody who hides their face? An innocent young girl like me could get hurt trusting scary men like you.”

“Scary?” Gojo repeated.

“You are, aren’t you? I can feel it.”

“You mean that you can sense my cursed energy?”

“Is that like an aura?” you asked. “Because I can’t read yours. That hardly ever happens.”

“Aura?”

You narrowed your eyes. “You know, spiritual energy and emotion and that sort of thing.”

“Ah, this might be a difference in terminology. This is cursed energy,” Gojo said, raising his hand and curling his fingers as if holding something. The intimidating energy that surrounded him pooled there, a dark shroud around his hand. All of the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end, the discomfort prickling like thousands of little needles poking against your skin. “Is this what you mean?”

“No, that’s… Bleh,” you said, exaggerating your shudder. “I’m talking about aura. People’s emotions, their mental state. I think your cursed energy is stifling yours, I don’t know. Or maybe you’re not human.”

“Maybe,” he agreed, lowering his hand, the dark energy flowing back into him. “I think you have the potential to be a wonderful sorcerer.”

“Really?”

“I’ll teach you. I’m the best, you know. Aren’t you tired of knowing that there’s a problem you can’t fix? Do you think you can live a life of ignorance now that you know there are answers?”

Before you could respond, his phone rang.

“Yes?” Gojo asked, taking the call. Whatever the person on the other end said made him smile. “Sure, sure. You can’t leave it there, I’ll transfer you the money… Yes, of course.”

He hung up and leaned forward, dropping the phone and cradling his cheek in his hand.

“There was a cursed object there,” he told you. “It would have been a while before the seal unraveled enough to be noticeable, but it was only a matter of time before it began attracting curses.”

“If you take it away, that means the place will be safe?”

“We’ll keep an eye on it to be sure, but, generally, yes. You saved innocent people from being harmed by an unseen evil. They will be allowed to continue on living their boring, mundane lives. That’s what a jujutsu sorcerer does.”

You nodded thoughtfully. It was the smartest choice to simply reject him and leave and move on with your life.

Most likely.

Absolutely.

But when you mentally followed that course of action to its completion, you knew that a part of you would always exist in this little cafe sitting across from the strangest man you had ever met considering an offer that scared and excited you. You would always wonder about the answers he promised, every day you would wonder if there was something more.

“If everything you’re saying is true-” you began.

“It is.”

“-then I’ll consider it.”

Gojo smiled. “I’ll have Ijichi get your transfer paperwork pushed through. We’ll have to move fast, you have a lot of missed time to make up for. You don’t mind, do you?”

“I said that I’ll consider it,” you told him, taken aback by his presumptuousness.

“Sure, sure,” he said, waving his hand dismissively. “I’ll be in contact soon, okay? Be ready.”

Despite your attempt to retain a certain amount of resistance and control over the situation, things moved exactly as fast as Gojo said they would. He was telling the truth about all of it. There was such a place as Tokyo Prefectural Jujutsu High School, and he was a teacher, and although being such a late transfer was weird, it was all legitimate.

The explanations were easier than you thought too. Mom was utterly charmed by Satoru Gojo. He came to your house wearing expensive clothes and a pair of sunglasses with his white hair flipped boyishly over his brow and explained the situation with a big, charming smile and the most disarmingly blue eyes you had ever seen and she was putty in his hands. She didn’t always believe you about spirits—curses, as Gojo called them—but she believed it from him, enthusing about how she’d always known you were special, and that you could do things nobody else could. It was moments like sitting in the room seeing Mom’s aura flash and sparkle with attraction and desire that made you wish you didn’t have the ability to see them.

Not even two weeks after the cafe conversation with Satoru Gojo, you were packing up and moving to live on the Tokyo Jujutsu High campus grounds. As you packed, you thought a lot about the first time you saw an evil spirit. You screamed and screamed. It wasn’t until your grandmother came and comforted you that you calmed down. She had that effect on people. Making them comfortable, making them feel safe.

Throughout your life, you flirted with divination and spirits and dark energy mostly for your own gain and amusement, but she was a real deal spiritual woman. If she were alive, she wouldn’t have liked who you were. That had been true for a while. You wondered what she would think of you going to study to exorcize curses, if that would have met with her approval. You wondered what dad would think. It had always been his plan that you should go to university. He wanted you to be educated before you got married. Funny, because he abandoned his university educated career-driven wife for some ditzy young thing he met at a bar.

It was kind of funny to think that, in the end, you wouldn’t go to university and you wouldn’t get married. Spite wasn’t a good primary reason to do something, but you couldn’t deny the frantic heat of its inspiration.

“I don’t know,” Haruka said, her voice distorted through your phone’s speaker as you unpacked your things. The room you were given on the Jujutsu Tech campus was larger than you thought it would be, although it didn’t look nearly so big with your stuff strewn everywhere. Mom laughed at your materialism, but you didn’t want to be underprepared. “I like him, but I don’t think he likes me back.”

You slipped a shirt onto its hanger, rolling your eyes at her dramatics. “The only way you’ll know is if you ask him.”

“It’s weird for him, I think. ‘Cause I’m still in school. I mean, there’s barely a year difference between us, but… I don’t know. Maybe it is weird. If my mom knew I was dating Ikki, she’d flip out.”

“Then don’t ask him out.”

Haruka sighed. “I wish she was like your mom. She lets you do basically whatever you want.”

That stung, although you weren’t entirely sure she meant it to. “The way I see it,” you said, sidestepping that comment, “it won’t be weird after you’re out of school. Wait a few months, it’s not like you’re going to have time with exams going on.”

“I wish you were here. Now when I make bad decisions I don’t have anyone to blame them on.”

You laughed. “I was thinking the same thing. I can’t copy your homework anymore, why even bother being friends?”

“Because,” Haruka said, clearly taking offense, “I am-”

“Knock knock,” somebody called through the open door, startling you. You turned to watch Gojo come in, looking around your room while Haruka rattled off all of the many reasons she was an invaluable friend to you. Well, you assumed he was looking around your room. He had returned to the bandages covering half his face, hiding his impossibly beautiful eyes.

“One second, Haruka… Can I help you?” you asked him, raising an eyebrow to hide the flicker of excitement you felt seeing him.

“Oh, are you talking to someone?” Gojo asked. “I can come back later.”

“Ah, no, that’s fine,” you told him, very easily deciding that you would rather talk to him than listen to Haruka’s boy troubles. “Haru, I’ve gotta go,” you said, picking up your phone. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Is that a man’s voice?” she asked. “Why is he in your room, what kind of school is that? Is-”

You ended the call, cutting her off. “Do you need something?” you asked.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

“You didn’t,” you said, returning to hanging up your clothes. “Although she’s probably going to tell everyone this whole transfer thing was an elaborate lie to cover for the fact that I got knocked up and ran away with some guy. I’m not sure why, but nobody believes I’ve dedicated myself to a strict religious lifestyle.”

“How much do they know about your abilities?” Gojo asked, walking over to your bed and sitting down, grabbing one of the stray magazines off the floor. He flicked through the glossy pages of fashion advice and gossip with a distinct lack of interest.

You snorted, hanging up one of your last few dresses. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Not at all,” Gojo said, dropping the magazine to flip through another. “It can be very isolating to keep such a big secret from the people closest to you.”

“It would be such a drag to explain,” you said. “Besides, nobody wants to know that things like curses exist. They just want to live their normal lives where things make sense.”

Gojo hummed in amusement. “Is that really the only reason?”

The tone of his voice set you on edge. It sounded like he was implying something. “What do you mean?”

“It would make things more difficult for you if anybody knew you could read their mind, wouldn’t it?”

You frowned at him, although he didn’t seem to be paying attention. “First of all,” you said, putting a hand on your hip, “I can’t read minds. Second of all, it’s not like I’m actively trying to spy on people. I can’t help it.”

“Calm down,” he said with a smile, tossing the magazine aside. “I wasn’t making any comment on your character. It was an observation.”

“Right,” you said, forcing yourself to let it go. “By the way, where is everyone else? The rooms around me all look empty.”

Gojo waved his hand nonchalantly, standing up. “There aren’t any other third year girls.”

“Did something happen?”

“No, it’s not abnormal. Jujutsu sorcerers are extremely rare.” Gojo walked towards the wall you had half covered with various posters and decorations. “I heard your admission interview went well.”

“Of course it did,” you said, smiling. He didn’t see it, too focused on the map. You had it set up on your wall like you had at home, ready in case the mood struck.

“That’s the library,” Gojo said, tapping a finger against the marked spot. His fingers were long. Considering his abnormal height, it was hardly surprising. It was attractive though. You shut that thought down fast. You could acknowledge it as a fact, but he was your teacher now. Besides, he probably had women throwing themselves at him from all angles, you’d rather be celebate than be reduced to one of the many.

“And right there,” you said, coming up behind him to point at another mark, “is the-”

“Antique shop,” he shot you a smile over his shoulder. “What an interesting ability.”

“Isn’t this sort of thing normal for, um, jujutsu sorcerers?” you asked, the term coming out a little awkwardly.

“Not at all. Sorcerers are highly individualistic. There are inherited techniques, but many of them are unique to the sorcerer. They’re innate, carved into your frontal lobe.” He tapped his forehead, turning towards you.

“But you can do the same thing,” you said. “Reading people’s auras and all of that.” You grinned, raising your eyebrows playfully. “You’ve got a third eye.”

“Six Eyes, actually,” Gojo said. “Although it does seem like you have a related form of extrasensory perception.” He threw an arm around your shoulders, swaying you back and forth. “You’re a little mini me! Isn’t that exciting?”

The sudden touch made you stiffen up, too surprised to react immediately. The only coherent thought you had was that he smelled really good. You shook that out of your head, pushing at his arm in a half-hearted attempt to get some space.

“What can you do then?” you asked. “Can you teach me?”

Gojo stopped swaying you around. “Weren’t you listening to anything I said? Jujutsu techniques are-”

“-innate and unique,” you finished for him. “But you can teach me how to get better at my own techniques if they’re like yours, right?”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Gojo said, stepping away. “If you try to run before you learn to walk, you’ll fall on your face. You’re getting a late start, so you’re going to have to work hard.” He raised his pointer finger to lecture you. “You’ll start by getting control over your cursed energy.”

“Okay,” you said, nodding. “How do I do that?”

“First! You clean your room,” he said. “It’s a mess in here. Then come to the classroom. I’ll have to find Oyama.”

“Who’s Oyama?”

“The other third year. He’ll be able to help you when I’m not here.”

“You’re leaving?”

“Are you disappointed?” Gojo cooed, leaning forward to put himself on your level, pursing his lips in a mocking display of pity. “As much as I would love to teach my cute little student personally, I have obligations to fulfill as a sorcerer. I hope you don’t miss me too much in the meantime.”

You gave him a flat look, hiding your genuine disappointment behind your irritation at the mockery. “I’m sure I’ll live.”

“That’s the spirit!” Gojo said, patting your head. “Okay!” He stood up straight, turning away. “Don’t take too long,” he called as he left, “I hate having to wait.”

“I’m sure this will only take me four or five hours,” you said. “Maybe six. I hope you don’t miss me too much in the meantime.”

Gojo didn’t respond to your taunt, shooting you a final smile over his shoulder, one that was all blinding white teeth. The covered eyes made it more menacing than playful.

“I hate it when you ignore my calls,” Mom said. “It’s been over a week since you gave me any sort of update. There’s only so much time I have to talk to you, so when you don’t answer, I have no idea what to think.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” you said in as apologetic a voice as you could fake, holding your phone between your ear and shoulder as you did your nails. It was a futile effort, there was no way you could keep your hands manicured. All you could do was fight back your cuticles and paint your nails knowing they would be chipped the next day. “I spend all my time training, studying, or exhausted from training and studying. Do you remember Gojo talking about how being a late transfer meant a lot of extra work? I want to succeed here, so I have to put in the work.”

As you hoped, the apology and mention of Gojo quelled some of her fire. “Oh, well, I still expect you to keep me informed.”

“I know,” you said. “Really, there’s not much to say.” Other than going out on a mission with Oyama for the first time and helping him exorcize a nasty curse that you helped to find with your unique ability, but you weren’t going to tell her that. You were saving that for when Gojo came back from whatever mission he was off doing. Instead, you painted a lick of red onto your pinky nail, carefully working the color into the edges. “How are you?” you asked her. “You mentioned you were seeing that guy from the lab?”

“Didn’t I tell you? I had to end things with him,” Mom said. “He was a real piece of work.”

“Oh, no you didn’t. I’m sorry,” you apologized, capping the nail polish bottle and appraising your hands. Serviceable, under the circumstances.

“You know how men are. You think they’re fine, but they turn out to be completely crazy.” She huffed, you could imagine the way she would shake her head. “Actually, I’ve been spending some time with a man from the second floor. It’s going really well.”

“Oh, that’s exciting!” you exclaimed with enthusiasm, rolling your eyes. She was almost as bad as Haruka with the boy drama. You wanted her to be happy, of course you did, but having to hear about her messy romantic life got tiresome.

“When you get back, maybe the four of us can go out for dinner.”

“Four?”

“He has a daughter. She’s a little younger than you, I’m sure the two of you would get along really well.”

“Yeah, that sounds fun,” you said, really scooping deep to manage an enthusiastic tone. “I’m just not sure when I’ll be able to get some time away. Like I said, I’m very busy.”

“It’s been two months, surely you can ask Gojo for one weekend home.”

“I’ll ask him,” you told her, making sure she could hear your doubt. Hopefully this fling wouldn’t last long, you really couldn’t stomach the thought of feigning interest in some stranger’s daughter.

Content that your nails were dry, you peeled your phone away from your ear.

“But I’ve gotta go for now,” you told her. “I promised Oyama I’d study with him. You know, final exams.”

Another lie, although one you didn’t feel as bad about. In reality, final exams at Jujutsu Tech weren’t at all like at a normal school. You would still be graduating, but not through lengthy tests. It felt a little cheap to have all of your studying go to waste, but you weren’t about to complain.

“Yes, of course,” Mom replied. “Don’t forget to keep me informed, alright?”

“Got it,” you said. “I’ll talk to you later. Love you, bye.”

“Love you.”

You hung up, tossed your phone to the side, and uncapped the bottle to paint your toenails.

Gojo returned a few days later with kitschy souvenirs from some small village you had never heard of and a big smile, eager to hear how you were progressing. For that matter, you were eager to share it with him. He hadn’t been gone too long, but you were working harder than you ever had before, and getting better accordingly.

“Okay!” Gojo said, leaning against the edge of his desk. “Tell me everything I’ve missed. How is your training?”

“I’m getting a lot better at controlling my cursed energy,” you said. “You can tell, can’t you?”

“I can,” Gojo said, the corner of his mouth lifting in a little smile. “What about your hand-to-hand training?”

You frowned at how quickly he brushed over your impressive accomplishment. Even Oyama was a little impressed by how quickly you adapted to the natural movement of cursed energy. Once again, you tried to get a read on Gojo’s state of mind to know what he was thinking, but it was as impossible as before.

“I got punched in the face for the first time,” you said.

The comment didn’t have the intended effect of eliciting amusement or confusion. Instead: “Did you deserve it?”

“What?” you asked, indignant. “No, not like that. I was sparring with Oyama and I realized that I’d never been punched in the face, so I asked him to. It seems like the sort of thing I needed to experience.”

“And what did you learn?”

“That Oyama enjoyed it way too much, and I needed to buy waterproof mascara. It made my eyes water like crazy.”

Gojo laughed, but didn’t give you anything else to work with.

“I’ve also learned that I’m really not into fistfighting,” you said, finally being serious. “I’ll definitely want to use weapons.”

“Your cursed technique is more effective the closer you are to the opponent, isn’t it?” Gojo asked. “So you’ll want something that can work at very close range.”

“But first I’ll have to learn how to reliably close the distance. I’m not fast enough. Yet.”

Gojo nodded thoughtfully. “Speed is important, but reading your opponent is more valuable in that situation,” he said. “If you ask nicely, I may be able to help.”

“I have to ask?”

He sighed dramatically. “My time is in high demand.”

“Some teacher you are,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes in as exaggerated of a way as possible.

“Watch your tone,” Gojo told you, wagging a finger. “You don’t want detention, do you?”

“I’m so sorry, sensei,” you said, batting your eyelashes. “I didn’t mean to disrespect you.”

He didn’t immediately respond to the taunt which, when you couldn’t get a read on his mood anyway, was oddly unsettling.

“You’re lucky I’m such a kind, patient man,” he finally said, his voice softer than before. “That cheeky tone could get you in trouble.”

“I’ve heard that you’re way worse,” you said. “I’ve heard that all of the higher-ups think you’re a nuisance. I’m only trying to be more like you, sensei.”

“You might find you don’t enjoy where that gets you,” he said. The tenor of his voice was playful, but the tension beneath wasn’t.

“You wouldn’t do anything,” you said, hoping to laugh it off.

He smiled, but didn’t laugh.

“I heard what happened in Shinjuku,” Gojo said before things got too awkward. “You were able to identify the type and motivation of the curses and warn Oyama. That’s impressive.”

“Oh… Yeah, thank you,” you said. “It wasn’t that difficult once I understood what type of place it was. Officially, it was a club, but that was only a front for their prostitution scheme. Of course the curses would hate men.”

“You know, I’ve been thinking, with proper honing, you might reach a point where you can perceive the nature of a technique before it can be used against you.”

“Really?” you asked, excited by the idea. It sounded like an impressive trick.

“It’s possible, certainly. But,” he pointed at you, “you’re a long way off from developing a skill that complex. Don’t get distracted from working on the basics.”

“I know, I know,” you said, trying not to seem too petulant. “I know I have to practice with my cursed energy, but sensing things about people and curses, that’s intuitive.”

“It’s hard on you, isn’t it?” Gojo asked, although it wasn’t much of a question. “Your ability is empathetic, not sympathetic. To understand what you’re facing, you have to let it in. That can be very dangerous. You have to carefully control it.”

“It’s not comfortable,” you allowed. “But I can do it.”

“To know the nature of the curse is to be confronted with the absolute worst of humanity, and it very well could end with you cursing them in turn.”

“I won’t let it get to me.”

“Not to mention how dangerous it is, I’ve known sorcerers who are rendered entirely catatonic just through proximity to especially strong curses, and that’s with their defenses up.”

“I can handle it,” you insisted, frowning.

Gojo paused, considering you with his head tilted curiously to the side.

“You said you asked Oyama to punch you in the face,” he said. “You might be a bit of a masochist, but I assume you were looking for that experience in a controlled environment.”

“Yeah, something like that,” you said, too caught off guard by the change of topic to properly react to the masochist comment.

“That’s smart, actually,” Gojo said. “Come here, I want to show you something.”

“Show me what?” you asked, frowning.

“The danger of special grade cursed energy. Come here, I don’t want to cast too wide a net and catch anyone else. This is for educational purposes only, alright?”

“Okay,” you said, hopping off your desk and approaching him.

“What do you feel?” Gojo asked, pushing away from the big desk to stand up straight. His height continuously took you by surprise. Maybe you’d find loafers with more of a heel, it was annoying to have to look up at him like this.

“Not much. You’re as mysterious as ever,” you said, an unmistakable note of bitterness in your tone.

“Okay then. Are you ready?” Gojo asked.

“Go ahead,” you said, bracing yourself. You knew cursed energy, you had felt it both from sorcerers and actual curses. You thought you were prepared.

You were not prepared.

Cursed energy flared out around him in an oppressive wave, capturing you in its field. The only thing you could think was that you were going to die. There was nothing you could think to compare it to. Fear flooded your system, it was all that existed. Not the fear of pain or death or any human threat, but complete and total destruction. Cellular annihilation, the ruination of the thing that was ‘you’ until not one part remained. You couldn’t move. His cursed energy snuffed that out, squishing down everything that wasn’t animalistic terror. When your legs gave out, you barely felt it, only the weakness of your body caving in. Gojo caught you before you fell, holding you up against him.

“The way you feel right now,” Gojo muttered, his voice soft and low, “this is what it is to be truly helpless. This is what you’re ultimately up against. Unless you’re prepared to endure the depths of hell, your arrogant curiosity will destroy you.”

Just like that, it was over.

You sobbed, hiding your face against his chest. It was pathetic, but you couldn’t control the entirely bodily reaction now that you were arrested with blind fear. Your body was practically vibrating from how violently you were shaking. Never in your life had you experienced such horrific, visceral fear. It was worse than you would have thought, even though you were never actually in any danger.

“Ah, maybe that was too much,” Gojo said regretfully, patting your back.

“Wha-aa-as that-t yo—uor te-eh-chnique?” you asked, your stammered words muffled against his chest. How embarrassing.

“That? No. If I had used my technique, your brain would be mush right now.” Gojo ran his hand over your hair, almost affectionately stroking it. “Do you need me to carry you to your room? I wouldn’t mind.”

Your hands tightened in the front of his uniform, although you couldn’t recall when you began holding onto him. Gojo hummed, petting your hair again, his hand idly lowering to your back, and then your waist, and your hip.

It was only a flicker, a fraction of a second, but you felt the barest whisper of glee. Lust. For blood or otherwise, you didn’t have the capacity to tell, but the impression was in such stark opposition to your own tumultuous feelings that it startled you.

You gasped, stumbling away from Gojo like he’d shocked you. Luckily, you managed to catch yourself on the edge of one of the desks rather than fall. He was, as ever, completely inscrutable. Whatever you thought you felt, it was gone as fast as it struck.

Unable to read anything else from the man, you decided that it was your imagination, a subsequent reaction born from a panicked brain. It was difficult to hold onto the feeling of primal terror now that it wasn’t actively battering down your defenses. Without any actual danger, your brain couldn’t generate the same intensity. With shaking hands, you wiped beneath your eyes, keeping them averted.

“That was embarrassing, I’m sorry,” you said.

“This isn’t too bad of a reaction. It’s kind of cute, actually.”

“Oh, yeah, definitely,” you agreed with breathless sarcasm, trying very hard to compose yourself. “For the record, I preferred being punched in the face.”

“I’m sure,” Gojo said with a little laugh. “Well,” he clapped his hands together, effectively ending the report, “you look like you could use a break, let’s go see what’s for lunch.”

“It’s so stupid,” Haruka said, her sniffling voice crinkling through your phone's speaker.

You laid on your back while listening to her cry, staring at your dorm’s plain ceiling. Things with Ikki hadn’t gone well. Normally you could at least pretend to care about her love life, but your thoughts were elsewhere.

“I knew he didn’t like me, I just thought since he was so nice and-”

It pissed you off to be so consumed by thoughts of one man, but it felt like there was a whirlpool in your head. You could fight it for a while, but all too soon your thoughts would return to your enigmatic teacher. Back and forth, back and forth, you bounced between trying to convince yourself to be realistic about yourself and the creeping paranoia that there was something going on.

Gojo was a very physical sort of person. It was conceited to think he’d be interested in you when he was attractive enough to get any woman he reasonably wanted. He was only helping you. It wasn’t intimate. Even if it felt a little strange, that was normal for combat training, wasn’t it?

He was interested in you. He was taking advantage of his role as your teacher, teasing you for his own amusement. That flash of lust was real, and it warned you of danger. The awkward nerves you felt around him were rational.

Back and forth and back and forth and-

“Hello?” Haruka snapped.

“Ah, um, yeah, I’m really sorry, Haru,” you said, realizing after a beat of silence that you had missed your cue.

“Whatever. I know you don’t get it.” She sniffed and then cleared her throat, composing herself. “I don’t suppose you know any hot guys, do you?”

“No dice,” you told her, although your thoughts went in a different direction. Gojo was hot, but he was also older than you and your teacher and there was no way. You rubbed your temple as if you could physically drive out the intrusive thoughts. It was pure ego.

In any other situation, you would be able to check for sure, but not with him. That was it. You didn’t know, and so you were making assumptions. Everything was normal, you were the one acting like a fool, self-obsessed enough to think you were getting the attention of an attractive older man.

“When you visit, we’ll have to go out looking for guys,” Haruka said. “I want to do something crazy before classes start.”

“I’m sure I can find a way to sneak out,” you joked. Mostly joking. You weren’t confined on campus, it was a little hard to find time.

That weekend, Gojo was gone, Oyama was busy, and you had the day to yourself. Rather than wasting it on campus, you hopped on a bus to the Tokyo station and took the train to Yokohama. You thought you would feel different returning to familiar stomping grounds after being away so long, but you didn’t. Nothing ever really changed.

That thought struck you especially when you spotted a pretty girl in a red sundress lackadaisically scrolling on her phone on a bench at the station. Haruka Inaba consistently scored top marks in every class, volunteered at hospitals in her free time, and reigned over the school’s tennis club throughout her second and third year of high school. She was the type of girl other girls wished they were.

A cursory look over your social media timeline would present picture after picture of the two of you having fun together, and she was the only person you had ever told about your dad leaving your mom for a younger woman. In short, she was your best friend.

Although, it might have been more accurate to say you had entered into an alliance. Everybody had a face they preferred other people didn’t see, when you were honest with someone that made you close, but didn’t necessarily foster a lot of affection.

“I hope you didn’t wait too long,” you said, greeting her with a smile.

“It was no big deal,” she told you. “The station’s on the way to the mall anyway.”

“Well then, shall we?” you asked.

“Of course,” Haruka said, getting to her feet and tossing her hair back to expose her perfectly smooth neck and shoulder, a very practiced gesture. “I’m surprised your mom didn’t come. You haven’t seen her since you left, have you?”

Internally, you rolled your eyes at how obvious the question was. Testing pressure points, or just looking for gossip.

“She’s a busy woman, I wouldn’t ask her to spend her day off with me,” you lied as you shuffled into the crowd of foot traffic flowing out of the station and onto the street. Mom didn’t even know you were in town. “Besides, I hate shopping with her.”

“That’s fair. What are you looking for today?”

“Athletic wear that isn’t hideous.”

“Do you do a lot of exercise at that new school of yours?” she asked, saying ‘school’ like it was a joke.

You shrugged. So far, you had been vague about Jujutsu Tech. It was impossible to be specific without sounding insane. Besides, Haruka only wanted to know more so she could dismiss the idea that you were special enough to be scouted for an incredibly upscale and mysterious school and she wasn’t.

“A bit,” you said. “What time are we meeting Fumiko and Kaoru?”

“The movie starts at four-fifteen,” Haruka told you.

“Oh, Ikki’s coming too,” you said. “I hope you don’t mind, Kaoru invited him before I could ask him not to.”

Haruka smiled tightly, her aura flashing aggressively. “Why would I mind?”

You let that one go, knowing better than to rub it in.

After that, you and Haruka relaxed into a far more superficial, casual dynamic. Clothes were a great unifier, and she had great taste.

The world was set right. No curses, no fighting, no second guessing people’s feelings. The other three showed up around lunch. There was still some strain with Haruka and the ever-oblivious Ikki, but you pretended you didn’t notice. The movie was boring, the dinner conversation even more-so, but you were rewarded with a milkshake out in the open air plaza.

Haruka and Fumiko were arguing with Kaoru about action versus drama movies. You wondered what type of movie Gojo preferred, if either. He was capable of stunts cooler than any action hero, but you weren’t sure he’d buy into drama either.

Was that some sort of mystical divination, your errant thoughts predicting the future? Probably not, although it was concerning that your thoughts would stray to him so easily.

You realized someone was behind you a fraction of a second before their big hands were covering your eyes. “Guess who,” he said. He, as in, one of the few people who could easily sneak up on you, who could make you nearly jump out of your skin, your cursed energy flaring and heart racing.

You grabbed Gojo’s wrists, pulling his hands away from your eyes and turning to face him. He wore a casual button-up, a pair of retro round lensed sunglasses, and a huge grin.

“Who are you?” Ikki asked, his body tensed and halfway out of his seat.

“It’s alright,” you said, putting a hand on his arm. “This is…” you said, looking at Gojo as you tried to think of an answer.

“I’m her teacher, Satoru Gojo,” he finished for you with a megawatt smile, waving to your friends. Haruka looked impressed, her eyes dragging over him without even an attempt at subtlety. The other three looked at him with a range from mild interest to outright hostility.

“I thought you were on a mi—a business trip,” you said.

“I finished early,” Gojo said, wedging himself between you and Ikki to wrap an arm around your shoulder. The stool was high enough that he didn’t have to lean down very much, but he still almost pulled you out of the seat. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?” His face was right next to yours. You couldn’t look at him, not when he was peering over the top of his sunglasses, giving you the full weight of his beautiful eyes.

You cleared your throat, irritated that he would go out of his way to embarrass you. “This is Ikki, Haruka, Fumiko, and Kaoru,” you told him, gesturing to them in turn.

“You’re more than welcome to join us, Gojo,” Haruka said, leaning forward with her eyes fixed directly on Gojo. “She’s spoken very highly of you.”

“She didn’t say you were so young,” Ikki said, clearly disgruntled by the way Gojo had pushed him aside. “Are you really a teacher?”

“Ah, you flatter me!” Gojo said, laughing a little louder than appropriate. “Well, as much as I would love to stick around to hear embarrassing stories about my cute little student, it’s time for us to get going.” He released you, standing up straight. “It was nice meeting you all.”

He couldn’t be serious.

“Us?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes. There’s something we need to do before going back to campus. It’s time sensitive, we have to hurry.”

“I’m kind of in the middle of something,” you said. “Can’t it wait until tomorrow?”

“No, it can’t. Come on.”

You played out the scenario where you continued to argue, but all of them ended with the same eventuality. He was, no matter what else, your teacher. Sighing dramatically, you slung your bags over your arm and stood up.

“I guess I have to go,” you said. “It was fun, I’ll see you later.” Fumiko and Kaoru smiled back, but Haruka was fixated on Gojo. You could practically see the hearts swirling in her aura. Ikki was unamused on the edge of hostile, glaring at Gojo who had put his hands in his pockets, unconcerned.

“Okay,” you said, turning away from your friends. “Lead the way.”

Gojo smiled. “Don’t worry,” he told you, taking off with his long-legged strides, “it’s not far.”

“Is there a job?” you asked, trotting behind him to catch up. The plaza was congested with the late afternoon crowd, it was a bit of a battle to make your way out until you reached the equally crowded sidewalk.

“It’s something very important,” Gojo told you. “Time is of the essence. Can’t you walk any faster?”

“In these shoes?” you asked incredulously, coming to a stop beside him as you waited for the crosswalk light to turn.

“I’ve never understood that,” Gojo said, looking at your feet. “Why wear something that you can’t move around in? I’d hate that.”

“Because these shoes are adorable and they make my legs look great,” you said, once again rushing to keep up with him as he crossed the road.

“Oho?” Gojo asked, slowing his stride to look at you with a smile. “Are you trying to impress somebody?”

“I want to impress everyone,” you said.

“It was that guy you were sitting next to, wasn’t it?” he asked knowingly. “Are you dating?”

“Ikki?” you asked. Your nose scrunched up at the idea, you could only imagine Haruka’s reaction. “No, we’re not.”

“Really? He was very protective of you.”

You shrugged, not really interested in that particular topic.

“How was your trip?” you asked, prompting him to tell you about England. When you thought about the city of London, you imagined big stone castles crawling with translucent ghosts in huge gowns, but he said it was just a regular city with regular boring curses.

You weren’t as disappointed by that as you might have been otherwise, too busy trying to keep up. Apparently, not far meant something completely different to Gojo than to you, although part of that was that he refused to slow down for your sake. It was almost like he was amused by forcing you to scramble behind him, but you didn’t want to think he would be that rude just for his own entertainment.

It was a huge relief when he stopped in front of a collection of businesses. “Wait here,” Gojo said, grabbing your shoulders and pressing down as if to plant you in place.

“Yes, sir.”

He went into the store and you waited dutifully, looking around at the people passing by. You felt out the area curiously, but there wasn’t much. People’s auras that projected regular, boring emotions and some vague, stale residuals, the tumultuous swirl of rotten energy that swarmed the city like a foul stench. Nothing out of the ordinary.

It was difficult not to replay his questions in your head, it really only added to the confusing mess of nerves and doubt you felt when you thought about Gojo. Why would it matter if you were dating Ikki or not? It wasn’t his business whatsoever. But really, not that you would ever openly acknowledge it, the idea that Satoru Gojo would give you attention in that way was thrilling. Not good, not bad, just thrilling. It was because of who he was, you knew that rationally, and you knew that was a weird and childish way to think. There was no way he had any inappropriate sentiments towards you, no more than you did him.

When you thought about it like that, you just got irritated. With him and with yourself.

“Okay!” Gojo called, easily catching your attention as he left the store and came to stand by you. He held a little box from the bakery, although you couldn’t see what was in it. “Close your eyes and say ‘ahh’.”

“What?” you asked, your eyebrows furrowing.

“Come on, do it,” he insisted.

You did as he said, making no attempts to hide your exasperation. Gojo pushed a pastry puff into your mouth, leaving a smear of cream over your bottom lip.

Chewing the pastry, you opened your eyes to Gojo’s eager smile. “Well? Delicious, right?” he asked, licking off the extra cream from the fingers that had just been in your mouth.

You nodded as you swallowed, more distracted by the way his tongue ran along his long fingers than the flavor. Which was ridiculous. “Are we waiting for someone?” you asked, forcing yourself to focus on that instead.

“No, we’re going back to campus. These are the best profiteroles I’ve ever tasted. We had to hurry—they make a fresh batch for the evening crowd.”

“So… there’s no job?” you asked.

“I never said it was,” he told you, popping another pastry in his mouth.

“This was the thing that was so important that I couldn’t spend time with my friends that I never see?” you pushed. “You’re not serious.”

“Are you mad?” Gojo asked. “I got some just for you.”

“I haven’t seen them in a long time,” you said. “And you were acting weird.”

“You are mad,” Gojo said, frowning. “I only wanted to share something nice with you. After all, you’ve been working so hard. I’m proud of you.”

“Is that it?” you asked. “Really?”

“What else?” he asked.

“Hello?” you asked after picking up the call. You were waiting for your laundry, half-heartedly leafing through a book about historical cursed objects.

“Did you make it back alright?” Haruka asked from the other end.

“I did,” you said. “I’m sorry about earlier. Gojo is a little… eccentric.”

“He’s gorgeous,” Haruka said. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me your teacher was so hot.”

“He’s my teacher,” you said, surprised by the flare of irritation you felt at having her point it out. Of course he was hot, but you couldn’t acknowledge that. You wouldn’t want to anyway, not when you were still feeling so conflicted.

“Yeah but he’s young. What do you think, twenty-five? Twenty-six?”

“He’s my teacher,” you repeated.

“He’s not my teacher. Do you think he’s single? I didn’t see a ring.”

“No,” you said bluntly, closing the book with a snap.

“No, he’s not single?”

“I mean no, I’m not having this conversation with you,” you said. “It’s weird and disrespectful.”

“You’re kidding,” Haruka asked. “Since when do you care about that?”

That caught you off guard; you didn’t have an answer. Any response you could think of led to increasingly disquieting explanations. “I don’t think Gojo’s the dating type,” you told her, deciding to side-step that question completely. “He’s out of the city about as often as he’s here, so I doubt he’s got much time for that sort of thing.”

She hummed. “Maybe I can come visit you on campus. It’s just outside of Tokyo, right?”

“It’s a religious school,” you told her. “No visitors on campus.”

“That’s so lame. You should give me his number then.”

“Why would I do that?”

“For me,” Haruka said. “To mend my broken heart.”

“You can’t date my teacher.”

“I’m not looking to date him,” Haruka said. “Come on, you owe me. Please?”

“Look, Haru-” you began, ready to try to explain to her why it was a bad idea that wouldn’t go anywhere, but she cut you off.

“Unless you really are saving him for yourself,” Haruka said. “I guess I wouldn’t put it past you.”

You closed your mouth, swallowing your warning. For that, she could deal with another rejection. “Okay, I’ll ask.”

“Thank you!” Haruka said. “Okay, I gotta hurry to take a shower, text me. Don’t forget, okay?”

“I won’t,” you said, truly meaning it. “Goodnight.”

The next day, the sun was high and hot as you dropped down to sit next to Gojo on the field-side benches.

“Your form is looking much better,” Gojo said. “I like that outfit too. Is it new?”

You smiled, preening a little bit at the compliment. “Thank you, it is,” you said, smoothing your hair back. “You know, men don’t usually notice clothes.”

“I notice everything you do,” he said. “It’s the best way to keep track of your progress.”

“Right,” you said, smiling and accepting that with a nod, aggressively rejecting the fluttery nerves the comment inspired. “Sensei, may I ask you something personal?”

“Oh? What is it?

“Are you seeing anyone? Romantically, I mean.”

“That’s hardly an appropriate question to ask your teacher.”

“You asked me if I was dating someone,” you pointed out. “I’m only asking for a—a friend.”

“A friend?” Gojo repeated dubiously. “Well, you can tell your friend that I’m not seeing anyone. Not exclusively, at least.”

That confirmed that, at least. “And you’re okay with younger women?” you asked, acting more flustered than you felt. “My age, I mean. Or, you know, around my age. Not me, obviously.”

“It depends on the woman,” he said slowly, leaning forward with a little smile curling his lips. “What’s she like?”

“I guess you could say she’s kind of like me,” you said. “Some people think she’s difficult, but maybe you don’t mind that?”

“Is she secretly very shy?” he asked. “Perhaps because she’s afraid of her true feelings?”

“She is a little shy,” you allowed. “You’re intimidating sometimes, sensei. And it’s scandalous because you’re my teacher.”

“I won’t be your teacher forever.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“But I would hate for anyone to think I’m playing favorites.”

“It’s not like I’m asking for special treatment.”

“Aren’t you?”

“Not at all. I’d rather you keep the entire thing between you two,” you said, your tone reverting to its normal timbre.

“What?” Gojo asked, his voice flat with confusion.

“My friend Haruka. You met her yesterday. She asked me to give her your number and see if you were interested,” you said. “It’s the only way to make up for having to bail out on the plans we had last night. That’s okay, right? It was your fault.”

“Are you still mad at me for that?” Gojo asked.

“I’m not mad,” you pretended to consider his nonplussed expression for a moment. “You seemed interested before.”

“You were misleading me on purpose, weren’t you? How cruel. I thought you were a nice girl.”

“Misleading you? I don’t know what you mean, sensei. I told you I was asking for a friend.”

If you could see his eyes, you had a feeling they would be narrowed. “In that case, I’m afraid I’ll have to pass.”

You shrugged. “Your loss.” Taking a drink, you pumped yourself up and got to your feet. “Okay! I’m gonna win this next match for sure.”

You jumped off the benches. You did not win the next match. You did, however, feel as if you had scored some sort of petty victory with Gojo’s obvious confusion. You wondered if he truly thought you were making a pass at him and was willing to play along, or if it was just as much a game to him as you. If you could read him, you’d know. And it wouldn’t be a source of many late nights spent looking up at your ceiling wondering if you were reading too far into innocuous interactions.

But you couldn’t.

You shouldn’t have played into it. That was the conclusion you quickly drew as March rolled out into April and your training reached a feverish intensity. The more you trained, the stronger your Divination became, the more you realized how utterly outmatched you were, how unprepared. Not only with Jujutsu sorcery, but with your enigmatic teacher.

The interactions seemed so banal at face value, but they became the only thing you could think about. It was always something.

“Oh, look at you!” Gojo said, startling you as you were leaving campus one Saturday morning. “That’s very cute. Did you get all dressed up just for me? I’m flattered.”

“No, I was going to go out.”

“It’s for a boy, then. I see.”

You rolled your eyes impatiently. “If I was dressing up for you, I’d be dressing up for a guy. But I'm not.”

“Oh, but I just remembered,” Gojo said, snapping his fingers. “I’m taking you along on a job. You need more experience, don’t you?”

And he was always so close. Maddeningly close, finding any excuse to touch you.

“Oop, there’s an eyelash on your cheek,” Gojo said, leaning in close with his lips pursed as he pinched it off. “Okay! Make a wish!”

You resisted the urge to shrink back, looking at the bandage covering his eyes as impassively as you could. “I wish-”

“No, don’t tell me!” he said, waving his hands. “Otherwise it won’t come true.”

The two of you would be walking somewhere and he’d grabbed your hand. “No, no, we’re going this way,” he'd say, acting like it was the most casual thing in the world to entwine his fingers with your own to guide you.

And the other things, a friendly arm thrown over your shoulder, his hands physically adjusting your stance when practicing fighting, his relentless proximity, it added up. Added up to what? You didn’t know. Whenever you expressed discomfort, Gojo seemed so confused.

You thought that at least when he was away on missions, you would have space to breathe, but even then you felt his domineering influence.

“Where are you going?” Oyama asked.

“It’s not your business.”

“Is it an emergency?”

“No. I’m-”

“Then you need to be training, your hand to hand is still way too sloppy.”

And then it was:

“You marked a spot on your map, we should go check it out.”

“And it can only be done today,” you said flatly. “On the day I had off. When I specifically mentioned I wanted to go out.”

Oyama shrugged as if helpless. And, honestly, he probably was. You had a feeling you knew exactly where the orders were coming from.

When Gojo came back and you asked him about it, demanding some explanation, he looked utterly baffled by your confrontational tone.

“You need to focus,” Gojo said, frowning with concern, his aura as impenetrable as ever. “You’re still so far behind your fellow sorcerers.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders to comfort you, his voice lowering intimately. “I know it’s difficult right now, but when you’re strong, you can do whatever you want.”

The string of cancellations as well as the thing with Gojo not working out was the breaking point for Haruka. She stopped inviting you places. More than once, you considered telling her the truth, coming clean about everything regarding Gojo’s strange behavior, but you didn’t.

Even if you told her the truth, that you weren’t necessarily trying to invite Gojo’s attention, it would validate the thing she first assumed when asking you to get his number for her. That was an old wound, an uncomfortable situation in high school with the tennis instructor. Besides, when you presented the case to yourself, it sounded insane. A handful of interactions with a man who was a bit eccentric, being restricted because you were so far behind other sorcerers.

Sometimes you felt insane, like you were missing something vital, drawing the wrong conclusions from inferred motivations because you couldn’t read Gojo like you could everyone else. You asked for a transfer to the Kyoto campus, and you clung to that. They said they would consider it, but you weren’t sure if they took it seriously. You couldn’t provide any details as to why you wanted to move, not even to yourself.

All you could do was lay in bed listening to white noise TV overthinking every comment he made and interactions you had, your thoughts caught in the endless back and forth of confusion.

“You weren’t there to greet me,” Gojo said, calling into the empty gym where you were stretching. He had been gone for three days and, unlike when you first began at Jujutsu Tech, you weren’t excitedly looking forward to his arrival. Or maybe you were? At least it was something other than the oppressive isolation and relentless training, but it only really upset you. “I got you a souvenir.”

“I’m good, thanks. Did you have a fun trip?” you asked in an icy tone, refusing to turn around to address him with respect.

“I wouldn’t call it fun, it’s work.”

“Still,” you insisted, rolling your shoulders, “it must be nice to have a little freedom.”

An awkward silence followed your comment.

“You’re not mad or something, are you?” Gojo finally asked.

“I’m not mad.”

“I haven’t done anything to deserve this attitude,” Gojo clearly wasn’t convinced, you could hear the theatrical dismay in his tone. “What’s got you so grumpy?”

“I’m not grumpy.”

“So why are you pouting then?”

Finally fed up with the badgering, you whirled around to face him, resolved to be upfront, to not give him a way to get out of the question. But then you looked him up and down and felt an odd jab of disgust and guilt twist in your stomach. It was so much easier to think the worst of somebody when they weren’t there to provide any sort of counternarrative. Seeing Gojo, it was hard to believe that he was the person you sometimes feared him to be. He was too attractive, powerful, and intelligent. It didn’t make sense that he would resort to underhanded means to manipulate you.

“Is there a reason I’m not allowed to leave?” you asked, staring at his covered eyes.

“What do you mean?” Gojo asked, the picture of innocent confusion. “Nobody’s stopping you.”

“Really? Because when you’re here, you stop me and, when you’re not, Oyama finds a reason that I can’t. It’s almost uncanny that so many jobs coincide with the days that I make plans.”

“Have you tried asking Oyama?” Gojo asked. “Maybe he has a crush on you.”

“He detests me,” you told him flatly. “I don’t blame him.”

“Oh? Do you want me to talk to him about that? I hate to think that my students aren’t getting along.”

“I want to know what’s going on,” you said, trying to keep calm.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Gojo said, his act of innocence perfectly maintained. Unless it wasn’t a mask. You couldn’t tell. “Are you feeling okay? Maybe you’ve been working too hard.” He frowned, thinking about it for a second. “I know! Let’s go out together. I’ve been dying to try this new sushi restaurant in town. I’ll invite Oyama and we can all get to the bottom of whatever it is you think you’re feeling.”

The moon hung high in the sky as you did training exercises in the field near your dorm, trying to shut your brain off. Nothing was solved over dinner. Of course not. Both men acted like there was nothing strange going on.

No, of course you were allowed to do whatever you wanted. Of course they weren’t stopping you. But if they were, they had good reason to. If they were, the problem was that you were just so weak. Sure you were making progress, but you weren’t even close to catching up with other sorcerers your age.

When you got back to your room, you broke down and called your mom, intending to tell her everything. The isolation, the suffocation, the worries you had about your teacher’s behavior. But all she could talk about was how well things were going with her new boyfriend. They were considering moving in together. And it was fine if she gave his daughter your old bedroom, wasn’t it? You didn’t need it anymore. You texted Haruka, but she didn’t reply, posting on her social media story to ensure you knew she was ignoring you on purpose.

So you decided you needed to hit something. It helped you calm down, at least. It was easier to believe the world had a semblance of peace in the dark of the night.

“Looking good!” a familiar voice called from behind you. You were trained enough to not be startled, taking a defensive stance as you considered how you were going to handle this. “I am curious as to why you’re out here though. I thought you were tired.”

That was the reason you gave after you got back to campus, the reason you immediately excused yourself from his company. Gojo knew it was a lie then, and said it like a joke now.

“I can’t sleep,” you said, shrugging as you turned around.

“I see. You’re not still angry with me, are you? Even though I didn’t do anything wrong?”

“No.”

“Then I can’t help but wonder what face you’re imagining on that training dummy.”

“Are you that hopeful that I’m thinking about you, sensei?”

He laughed. “If anything, I’m worried,” he said. “You know what they say about a woman scorned.”

“You told me I needed to train more,” you pointed out. “Do you have any tips? I prefer fighting with knives, but I can’t trust that I’ll always have weapons, and I still need to get in close if I’m going to use my Divination.”

“I’m not sure there’s much to read from your current opponent,” Gojo said.

“I’m being serious,” you said. “If you don’t want to help, that’s fine too.”

“No, I do. Okay, get into a defensive position,” he instructed, which you did.

Gojo walked around to stand close behind you, you could feel the warm thrum of his body, the energy coursing through it, the power.

“Your posture is fine, the problem is your mindset,” he said, his voice lower. He reached around to brush his fingers over your flushed neck and over, across your shoulder and down your arm. “You can’t think of it in terms of only using your cursed energy or only your body. Jujutsu sorcery is more than the sum of its parts. You fight with your whole self.” His hands settled on your hips, repositioning them slightly to the side. Then his palm laid flat over your pelvis, dragging up your stomach. Your skin crackled with little sparks of electricity, crawling and thrumming and alive and nervous.

“Sensei, I’m, uh…” Tongue-tied. A shiver snaked down your spine and you resisted the urge to move and put distance between you. You cleared your throat. “I understand that part, it’s just…”

“You don’t feel it yet. The harmony,” Gojo said. “Most people aren’t actively aware of their bodies, but a sorcerer has to be.”

“I am,” you said softly.

“Are you really?” Gojo asked, his lips brushing your temple. “Do you feel how your cursed energy flows through your body? It has its own circulatory system, you just have to find its pulse, synchronize it with your own.” He raised his hand up to press against your neck, lightly pressing against the place where your blood erratically thrummed beneath the skin.

“I get it,” you told him, you turned around, grabbing his hand from your neck, pressing your palms flat together.

Gojo looked taken aback, but didn’t withdraw. You saw nothing from within him. Felt no flicker of emotion.

“You know, I… I realized,” you said, looking up at his half-covered face, imagining a pair of sparkling blue eyes, knowing he was staring at you. “When we’re close like this, I can feel your… Infinity. The endless expanse that separates you and me.”

“Really?” he asked, sliding his hand to the side. It dwarfed your own. “I heard that you’re getting even better at reading people. It’s very impressive how fast you’re progressing, I’m so proud.”

“I thought that would help me figure you out, but it’s not your cursed energy keeping me out. It’s your infinity.” You looked at where your hands met. You felt his skin, his warmth, and yet you knew the connection wasn’t quite there. It was impossible to truly connect with him. “Trying to read you is like trying to find a flame in an endless abyss. Even the few times I thought I’ve seen something, I can’t be sure that it wasn’t just an illusion in the dark.”

Gojo’s head tilted curiously. “What was it that you thought you felt?”

“I’m getting stronger,” you told him rather than answer, pressing your hand ever more firmly against his. “If you give me a chance, I’ll show you. That’s why you’re keeping me from going out, right? Because you think I’m weak.”

“I’m not keeping you from doing anything,” Gojo told you. “I don’t know where you got this idea that I am.”

You dropped your hand, stepping away from him. The words were a knife twisted in your chest. He made you sound crazy. Made you feel crazy.

“Right. I’m going to bed,” you told him flatly. “Goodnight.”

“Hello?” Haruka answered, her voice groggy from just waking up. She probably wouldn’t have taken your call if she was fully awake.

“I’m too sick to train or study today,” you told her, holding up a potential outfit for the day. Gojo was gone, and you were done asking for permission to leave. “I’m going to be laid out in bed all day today and tomorrow.”

“What?”

“Do you think Ikki and Kaoru would be interested in hanging out? I could use a drink.” While you were still a little over a year out from buying liquor, both Ikki and Kaoru were of age and they didn’t mind hosting little parties at their shared apartment.

“It’s eight in the morning,” Haruka said.

“Not now, I mean later. I’m gonna catch the twelve-twenty train. Let’s get lunch, or go shopping. Honestly, I don’t care, I just need to get out of here.”

“Um. Yeah, I think we could do that.”

“Great. See you then.” You hung up before she could change her mind.

They waited until you were more than a little drunk to ask. You should have expected that, although you also didn’t expect to get so drunk. Ikki kept handing you drinks, urging you to relax and enjoy yourself. The world was warm and sweaty and spinning and comfortable and lovely and frightening.

“Okay,” Ikki said, catching your attention. A cigarette hung out of the corner of his mouth like he was some kind of cowboy. He only smoked when he got drunk, it was kind of cute, not that you would ever tell him that. He already knew it anyway. “What’s up with you lately?”

“What?” you asked, blinking fast.

“Kaoru thinks you got knocked up,” Fumiko said, speaking up from her position leaning against Kaoru’s chest.

Kaoru frowned down at her.

“What?” you asked, trying to force your drunk brain to think sober thoughts. “It’s not anything like that… It’s a… It’s nothing.”

“You’ve been blowing us off every time we asked you to come out without any explanation,” Haruka said. “It has to be a boy.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Come ooooooon,” Fumiko pushed. “It’s a guy. He’s keeping you all to yourself.”

“That’s not it,” you insisted.

“Is it something illegal?” Ikki asked with a puff of smoke.

“No, nothing like that,” you said. Then you broke out laughing, looking at your nearly empty beer. “It’s not like I have a boyfriend or anything. It-it, okay it is a guy. We’re not dating. It used to just be a weird vibe but now it’s like, weirder. He stops me from leaving and if he’s not there then he gets Oyama to keep me from going and there’s always a reason, but it’s still… That’s weird, right? I had to sneak out to come tonight, and even then that’s only because he’s out of the country.”

“There’s no way,” Haruka said, her voice flat with genuine disbelief. You could tell she was already prepared to call you a liar. “You’re saying you’re some kind of hostage?”

“Wait so, what, there’s somebody at your school who’s obsessed with you?” Kaoru asked. “What even is that place?”

“It’s that teacher, isn’t it,” Ikki said, pointing his half burned cigarette at you “The creepy guy with the glasses.”

“He’s not, like… creepy,” you said. “I don’t know, it’s just weird.”

Haruka scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Why would a guy that looks like Gojo go through all the trouble for you?”

“Tell him you’re dating me and I’ll beat him up if he keeps you all to himself,” Ikki said with a lopsided grin, butting his cigarette and throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“How would that help?” Haruka snapped, glaring at the two of you, her aura sparking with anger. That was very not good.

You shrugged off Ikki’s arm, scowling and trying to snap back to sobriety. “I knew you would do this if I told you,” you said. “That’s why I didn’t say anything before.”

“Why would I believe you? I know how you are. This is just like that one time in our second year with the tennis coach.”

You frowned. Of course she would bring that up. “That wasn’t-”

“You thought he was cute, but he didn’t reciprocate so you told everyone he was a perv.”

“Wasn’t that guy fired for trying to get with his students?” Kaoru asked.

“Yeah, but he wasn’t into her,” Haruka argued.

“It’s weird that you’re jealous about sexual harassment,” you told her bluntly.

“Okay! I think we should take a breather,” Ikki said, trying to smooth things over. “You girls might’ve overdone it a little.” You pushed him off, your own temper flaring to meet Haruka’s fiery aura.

“I bet Gojo turned you down and that’s why you’re making this up,” she said, her voice raising. “Or, no, you just want to outdo me. Brag about how you’re so much better just like always.”

“The only reason you’re saying this is because you’re mad he didn’t wanna sleep with you and you think it’s my fault,” you told her, working hard to keep the drunken slur out of your voice. “It’s not like I enjoy having somebody breathing down my neck all the time, although I’m sure you’d love the attention. You beg for it often enough.”

“You do too!” she said, getting shrill. “You just act like you don’t. Being a prude doesn’t make you superior.”

“That’s true, I don’t need self-respect to be better than you,” you snapped. In the ensuing silence, everybody in the room was just staring at you. Like you were the one out of line. Like they hadn’t ganged up on you to force you to tell them what was going on.

Angry at them and angry at yourself for losing it so spectacularly, you stumbled drunkenly to your feet. Ikki got up too, although you pushed off his help as you went to the bathroom. Haruka shouted insults after you, which you ignored.

Instead you went into their bathroom, marveled at the disgusting state of a place shared by two guys, and threw up.

The knocking woke you up. It took a minute of looking at the sunshine peering in through the blinds to realize you were on Ikki’s and Kaoru’s couch, your back cramping from sleeping in such an uncomfortable position. A glass of water and two painkillers sat ready for you on the messy coffee table alongside empty beer bottles and snack wrappers. You groaned, sitting up and taking the medication with a wince.

Whoever was at the door continued to knock. You grunted, standing up. Bad idea. You nearly fell right back down, but you managed to stay on your feet. You were about to answer the door before you realized that could be a bad idea, turning around to find Ikki.

The door to Kaoru’s room was closed, but the other door yawned open. You peeked in. Haruka was passed out on the bed. You could hear the shower running from the bathroom.

“Ikki?” you called through the door. “Someone’s knocking.”

“What?”

“Someone’s at the door,” you said. “Are you expecting anyone?”

“No,” he said. “Will you get it? I’ll be out in a second.”

Perhaps hearing voices inside, the person at the door only got louder. You sighed, annoyed by their insistence.

You returned to the living room to open the door, squinting at how bright the morning was in comparison to the dark apartment.

“Good morning!” Gojo enthused.

You blinked hard three or four times, willing reality to bend to make what you were seeing stop being true.

“Woah, you look like shit. Did you have a fun night?”

“What?” you asked, baffled beyond comprehension.

“Who is it?” Ikki asked, coming out of the bathroom with billows of steam and only a towel around his waist, drying his hair absently.

“I’ve come to retrieve my wayward student,” Gojo said.

You stared at him, hungover and confused and wanting nothing more than to lay back down on that horribly uncomfortable couch and never get up.

“Are you ready to go?” Gojo asked you when he got no answer.

You let out an unsteady breath, closing your eyes for a second to try and gain some clarity or zen. Nope. That was a lost cause.

“Give me a second, I have to use the bathroom,” you said, turning away from him towards the bedroom to get your bag.

Haruka was still passed out, a fact you were very grateful for. You weren’t completely clear on the details of last night, but the broad strokes were all there. You slung your bag over your shoulder and went into the steamy bathroom. Clearing the mirror in squeaky finger-streaks proved Gojo right. You looked like shit.

After dry heaving a little as you brushed your teeth, you put on clean clothes and sorted out the mess that was your hair. It wasn’t perfect, but you didn’t look as awful as you felt. When you returned to the main room, Ikki was dressed. The room was heavy with awkward tension, although Gojo didn’t look at all uncomfortable. You weren’t sure you wanted to know what words were exchanged.

“Ready to go?” Gojo asked. You sighed, throwing your bag over your shoulder.

“I’ll talk to you later,” you told Ikki, smiling apologetically.

And Ikki, in his endless wisdom, did the last thing you expected and grabbed you around the waist, pulling you in for a kiss. He stared at Gojo the whole time, aggression swirling around him thicker than any desire or affection. Using you to prove a point. That was unlike him. Gojo might’ve just had a way of pulling out the worst in people.

“Call me later,” he said when he released you, winking.

“Bye,” you said, forcing a smile.

“It was nice to see you again,” Gojo said, smiling and waving in a too-cheerful way. You walked out into the sunlight, wincing at how bright it was, going for the stairs without waiting for him to follow.

“Did you have fun last night?” Gojo asked as you took the stairs down to ground level.

“Yeah,” you said, too tired and irritable to play along.

“You know, as your teacher, it’s my responsibility to look after your wellbeing,” Gojo said, hopping the last few steps to stay next to you. “Underage drinking can have very dire consequences. Especially when you’re spending the night at a man’s home. I would hate to think that you’d be taken advantage of.”

“Why are you here?” you asked, turning to face him. “How did you know where to find me?”

“I got back last night. I was worried when you weren’t on campus,” you could feel his gaze as he looked you up and down. “I’m glad to see you’re just fine.”

“Right,” you said. That didn’t answer your question, but you doubted you would get anything better. “Can we stop to get breakfast?”

“Can you wait until we get to the station? We have to hurry to catch the train.”

“Hurry for what?”

“Didn’t you read my messages? You have a job,” he told you.

“You’re kidding.”

“You begged me for a chance to prove yourself, well here it is. If you do well on this mission, I’ll consider you for a promotion of sorts. Isn’t that exciting?”

Through a series of increasingly unfortunate circumstances, the thread you were following led to a realization that the curse was based on the time of day. That is, exactly before sunrise. By the time you figured that out, you had about nine hours to kill.

Gojo said he’d rent a room for you to rest, but it had to be close enough that you could be at the lot exactly on time. On short notice and in such a small area to select from, the choices of accommodations were slim.

One room, one bed. If the embarrassment didn’t kill you, the cliche would.

Gojo showering gave you some time alone to prepare yourself, at least. It wasn’t like you were afraid he would do anything, but you couldn’t say you were exactly comfortable with the arrangement. The whole day, you had been standoffish, but now you were just tired and nervous. Of course you wanted to prove yourself to him, but you also got angry every time you thought about him springing this on you when he knew you weren’t operating at your best. It felt calculated, but you knew that he would easily deny that if you accused him of anything.

The worst of everything was how meticulously he avoided any conversation about your behavior, or Ikki, or his own motivations for doing this. The more stormy your mood got, the bigger he smiled, and the more he acted the role of the caring teacher.

Just like always, you felt like you were a little crazy. Drowning in delusions of self importance.

You sat crossed legged on the foot of the bed and put on a ghost hunting show. If only being a sorcerer was like on TV. Dramatics, theatrics, silly devices, and easy answers. That had been your original hope when you started playing with Divination. You wanted something exciting, the cheap thrills weren't doing it anymore.

Well, you got what you wanted. You certainly weren't bored.

“What are we watching?” Gojo asked as he came out of the bathroom with a cloud of steam, drying his wet hair. You cleared your throat and averted your eyes from his partial nudity.

“Ghost Adventures,” you said, staring straight ahead at the screen.

“What’s that?” he asked as he got onto the bed, laying on top of the comforter. The robe mostly covered his bare torso.

“A ghost hunting show,” you answered. “It’s American.”

“Is it any good?”

You snorted out a short laugh. “No. We don’t have to keep it on.”

“I don’t mind.”

You stared at the TV for a minute before checking your phone again. Haruka hadn’t texted you all day. At first, you were resolute that you would only accept an apology, but the longer you thought about it, the more you reasoned yourself to accept anything.

“Isn’t it uncomfortable to sit like that?” Gojo asked, startling you. You turned off your phone screen, setting it on the bedside table.

“I’m fine.”

“I heard that if you sit with your back hunched like that you’ll get stuck that way.”

You rolled your eyes, although you did swing your legs around to lay against the headboard. As much as you wanted to pretend it wasn’t true, you were still tired from the previous night. Since he made no move to do it, you got under the stiff sheets, trying to fluff the lumpy pillow into comfortable submission.

“Are you dissatisfied?” Gojo asked suddenly.

“What?”

“Are you dissatisfied with your life as a sorcerer? When you first started at Jujutsu Tech I thought you were over your rebellious delinquent phase, but now you’re falling back into the same habits. I can only assume it’s because you’re dissatisfied.”

“It was one night,” you argued. Chewing on the words and your lip for a second, you cast a sideways glare towards him. “If there weren’t such strict restrictions about when and how I can leave campus, I wouldn't have had to lie.”

“You’re still technically a student, of course there are restrictions. Do you think that’s unfair?”

“Oyama doesn’t have the same restrictions.”

“Oyama is nearly a Grade Two sorcerer, and he’s never had any behavioral issues.”

“Right,” you said, your voice flat. At least that was a different answer than you had gotten previously, some acknowledgement that you were getting unfair treatment.

“If you’re this unhappy, why haven’t you said anything?” Gojo asked.

You wondered how much he already knew or assumed. He wasn’t stupid, he was painfully perceptive. Unless it was all in your head, and he truly did not understand why you were reacting like this because he had no reason to think you would second guess his behavior and motivations.

“You already have a lot to worry about,” you told him.

“I always have time for my cute little student. It’s my responsibility to see that you’re satisfied. I have noticed that you seem a little more tense. Is the stress starting to get to you? It’s important to talk about these things, you know. Otherwise they can spiral into a much larger problem. We have to rely on each other as sorcerers.”

“I’m fine.”

Gojo hummed. You pretended to be very interested in a case about some old haunted asylum where they tortured patients or whatever.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something,” Gojo said when the show cut to commercial. “Your abilities can be considered dangerous to yourself and those around you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sorcerers and curse users go to great lengths to keep their techniques secret. The mere idea of your Divination puts them at risk. While it’s not fully refined yet, there is a non-zero chance that you will be able to read techniques in their entirety. I’m sure there are already conversations being had about taking you out. Nobody’s stupid enough to try anything when you’re under my protection, but if they saw a chance, they would jump at it.”

“So I can’t leave,” you said, staring hard at the TV as a commercial for foot cream played out.

“You can!” Gojo said quickly, his voice energetically trying to placate you. “Neither myself or any other sorcerer will hold you against your will. You’re an adult, you can do what you please. I’m only telling you of the risks you face now.”

“How would they know about my technique?” you asked.

Gojo shrugged glibly, his expression just as unreadable without sunglasses or that bandage. “These things have a way of getting around.”

In the very deepest part of your brain, you wondered if he didn’t have a hand in that. If he wouldn’t be willing to put you at risk if it meant you needed his protection. That was ridiculous. Truly. No matter what else Gojo had done, he hadn’t done anything you could call evil. The jujutsu world was just dangerous, and you already knew that.

“I understand,” you said, trying to sound unaffected.

Neither of you spoke for a while, although you didn’t think he was watching the TV any more than you were. It was a ridiculous story and they were so deadly serious about their silly spirit boxes.

“Aren’t you going to sleep?” Gojo asked. “I’ll wake you up when it’s time.”

“Yeah,” you said. “I should. Do you want to turn it off?”

“I don’t mind. You usually sleep with the TV or something on anyway, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but…” You frowned, your assurance trailing off. How did he know that?

“I’ve always wondered why,” Gojo said. “Are you afraid of the dark? That seems inconvenient for a sorcerer.”

“I have bad dreams,” you said.

“Will I have to worry about you waking up kicking and screaming?”

“Bad, not scary,” you corrected him, trying to make yourself as comfortable as possible. “Isn’t it wonderful that no matter how hard you repress things when you’re awake, your brain can just shove it in your face when you’re defenseless?”

“I understand that,” he told you with a wry smile.

“So even the strongest has to deal with that?” you asked, stifling a yawn into your palm. “I guess there really is no hope for the rest of us.”

“I’ve read that nightmares offer insights into our psyches,” Gojo said as you stared at the ceiling. “Things that we fear the most… and things we want the most.”

“I dream about my dad coming back,” you said softly, without thinking. You scrubbed your palms into your eyes, laughing humorlessly. “It’s pathetic. Sometimes I wish I’d dream about curses or whatever. The happy dreams are so much worse.”

“I truly believe that love is the worst curse of them all,” Gojo said softly.

“You’re probably right.” After a moment, you added, ”I’m sorry. For whoever you dream about, I’m sorry.”

“Who said I dream of anything?’

You huffed. “Fine. I take back my sorry.”

“You can’t, I’ve already accepted it. It warms my heart to think of my cute little student worrying about her sensei. What would you do to help me, I wonder?”

Your face scrunched up in disgust. “Nothing. Forget it.”

“I’d be more than happy to return the favor, you know. If you’re lonely,” Gojo said, turning onto his side with his head propped up on his arm, “I can help you.”

“I’m fine.”

“Liar,” Gojo said. “I’ve noticed how sad you are, how you refuse to reach out to anybody for support. I know what that's like."

“I don’t need anyone's support,” you said, avoiding his eyes. “I can either get over this, or I can’t. That’s on me.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Gojo said, even softer. “Even the strongest need help sometimes, and you’re hardly the strongest. I’m worried about you.”

You sighed, even more annoyed. “Don’t be.”

Gojo groaned dramatically. “You make it so difficult to be a good teacher and mentor. I want to help you, but then you act like this. It’s like you’re trying to rile me up.”

“What are you talking about?” you asked, a cold flush running through your stomach.

“I’m telling you that you should be more careful,” Gojo said. “I’m not entirely sure you realize that you could very well face consequences for your behavior.”

“Is that a threat or something?” you asked.

“No, of course not,” he told you with a smile. “Now go to sleep, you’ll need it if you’re going to perform well tomorrow. Remember what’s at stake.”

The next afternoon, after getting your wounds treated and taking a long nap to make up for two nights of barely any sleep, you stood in the classroom facing Gojo. You had been expecting bad news, but not quite to the gleefully dismissive extent that he saw fit to deliver it.

“Suffice it to say, you did not meet my expectations. I guess you’re stuck with me for a while yet,” Gojo said, smiling like it was great news despite the attempted apologetic tone.

You grit your teeth. “Is this what you meant about consequences for my misbehavior?”

“What do you mean?” Gojo asked, tilting his head curiously.

“I don’t know what you want, if you expect something from me or if you’re mad I’m dating or whatever, but I did a good job,” you said. “You know I did, so-”

“You didn’t,” Gojo said, cutting you off. “I carefully evaluated every part of your performance, and I don’t think you’re ready to take on more complicated jobs. This isn’t a game. There are lives at stake. Your life, the lives of your fellow sorcerers, and the lives of the civilians we’re trying to protect. If you want to accuse me of trading favors or having an unfavorable bias, you’re more than welcome to take your case to the higher ups. I’m sure they would be delighted to hear of any perceived misconduct. Otherwise, I recommend you focus on your training.”

You nodded stiffly, biting your tongue. “Yes, sir.”

“I know you’re upset, but it’s important that you don’t rush something you’re not ready for. You could get hurt.”

“I understand. If you’ll excuse me then.” You turned to leave his office, your shoulders high and tense.

“Oh, right! I was told this morning that you asked for a transfer,” Gojo said, snapping loud enough to make you wince. “It was denied.”

You looked over your shoulder, a cold bit of dread sinking into your gut.

“Kyoto doesn’t need any more sorcerers at the moment, especially when you're still such a low level sorcerer,” he told you, returning to that innocent tone. “Why was it that you wanted to transfer anyway?”

“No reason,” you said, hiding your expression and leaving quickly.

The disappointment was bad, but what you hated more than anything with the humiliation. If Gojo were honest, then you could understand your failure, but not in the way he presented it to you. He was going out of his way to embarrass you. Hot bouts of sticky red fury filled your stomach and your head whenever you thought about it, a feeling so mean and aggressive that it hurt.

You couldn’t call your mom, you wouldn’t know what to tell her. Haruka still hadn’t texted you. Ikki had asked if you were alright, but there wasn’t anything you could think of to say to him. You knew what he wanted, what he expected from you by offering what he saw as help, but you couldn’t do that. Even if it pissed Gojo off, it wasn’t satisfying. He would view that sort of behavior as petty. It was petty.

If you were going to do something, it had to be big. Something that you weren’t supposed to do, something that would make a point, something that would soothe your embarrassment. When you felt yourself drawn to the map on your wall, pencil in hand, it was like a golden opportunity had fallen into your lap, gifted directly to you by fate.

“Oyama! We have a job,” you told him, acting like you were unhappy with the arrangement.

“What are you talking about?” Oyama asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

“It’s a spot on my map.” You could see his hesitation so you feigned annoyance. “If you want to go alone, that’s fine, but Gojo told me I had to as a part of my evaluation.”

He believed it, not even checking to make sure you were telling the truth.

As soon as you were conscious, a ragged gasp ripped up the inside of your dry throat, panic shooting through your veins like ice water. You groped your chest and stomach, searching for wounds that weren’t there. A little yelp of fear left your mouth and you wrenched your body upright. The sheet fell from your chest, making you realize that you were not dressed, and you were not alone.

Ieiri shot you a concerned look, blowing a final puff of smoke out of the window into the dark night before butting the cigarette. “Careful,” she warned, “your wounds are healed, but you’re going to be weak.”

Tugging the sheet up to cover your chest, you realized you were in the clinic, and then your memories crashed through the gauze of groggy ignorance. The curse, the fight, the terror, and then the stupidest plan you had ever concocted. Although you weren’t wounded anymore, you coughed weakly, your body reacting to the mere memory of suffocating on your own blood.

“How do you feel?” she asked.

You groaned, falling flat onto your back. “I feel like I got hit by a truck.”

“How much do you remember?” Ieriri asked, closing the window.

“Everything.” Unfortunately. Your face scrunched up as you tried to put the horrific memories of your mutilated body out of your mind. “Is Oyama okay?”

“He has a few bruises, nothing major.”

You nodded, relieved for that. If he got hurt after you forced him to take you along, you’d never live it down. After a second, you threw an arm over your face, something like a raspy laugh crackling its way out of your sore chest. “I think I did something extraordinarily stupid.”

“Like using yourself as bait so your fellow sorcerer could exorcize a curse?” Ieiri asked dryly.

You opened one eye to look at her. “Did it work?”

“It did, although you very nearly died for it. The broken ribs were the worst. You’re lucky they didn’t puncture anything vital.”

Hiking up the sheet over your healed chest, you sat up again. Your head spun, but the only pain you felt was phantom, like your brain was unable to reconcile the severe physical trauma with your perfectly healed body.

“It was the strangest thing,” you said. “The curse was smart enough to know to attack the stronger sorcerer, but I… I forced it to focus on me.” You winced, a shiver of soul-deep revulsion slithering down your throat all the way to the pit of your stomach as you remembered what happened after that. Remembering pain after the fact was difficult enough, let alone thinking of the right words to describe the experience.

“You need water,” Ieiri said, pressing a bottle of water into your hand. You eagerly accepted it, uncapping the bottle and chugging the whole thing. She was calm as ever, if tired.

Capping the bottle, you cleared your throat again. “I don’t suppose I can borrow some clothes?”

She patted a pile of folded clothes on the bedside table with a tired smile. “They won’t fit, but it’s better than streaking across campus.”

“Thank you,” you said, wrapping yourself in the sheet to fully sit up.

“I’ll give you some privacy,” Ieiri said, turning to leave the room. She paused in the doorway, looking over her shoulder at you. “Oh, before I forget, Satoru wants to see you as soon as possible. I doubt he expected you to wake up so quickly, I’m sure it can wait until morning.”

You frowned, your stomach twisting up at the thought. “Where do you think he’ll be?”

“He’s probably in his apartment. I doubt he’s asleep, if you wanted to talk to him now.” She snorted, shaking her head. “That man sleeps less than I do.”

“Got it,” you said. “Thanks.”

She hesitated in the doorway, thinking about what she was going to say. “Satoru was very upset when he heard what happened. I know he worries about his students, but this is different.”

“How so?” you asked, tensing up at the faint insinuation.

Ieiri sighed. “I’m not trying to involve myself, you’re free to do what you want. But, speaking as someone who has known Satoru for a while, be careful. I care for him, but his nature doesn’t always lend itself to respectable behavior.”

“Okay,” you said flatly, narrowing your eyes at her. You didn’t get the sense of any malice or disgust, but the words were obviously pointed.

“That’s all,” Ieiri said with a light shrug, leaving the room and closing the door. You squeezed your eyes shut, wondering what to think about that. You didn’t know if you wanted to believe her or not. It was the first time anybody confirmed some of the strange things you felt about the man, but you didn’t know if that made it any better.

Besides, you hadn’t so purposefully baited a reaction just to shy away now.

At twelve-twenty-five, you left the clinic. Considering you almost died earlier that day, you didn't feel too terrible. Every muscle in your body was sore and shaky, like you had been training too hard, but you had just slept for nine hours. Even if you laid down, you wouldn’t sleep. If Gojo wanted to talk, you would talk. The reasoning behind it was, on the surface, because you wanted to get it over with.

There might have been more to your compulsion, but you were too irritable to interrogate your motivation.

Before going over, you stopped by your room to exchange Ieiri’s borrowed clothes for a clean shirt, oversized hoodie, fresh panties, and a pair of shorts. While you were there, you took the time to wipe the mascara rings out from under your eyes, swipe on some lip balm, and pull your hair back to mitigate the mess. What you really needed was a full coat of foundation and some dry shampoo, but the idea that you were so desperate to impress him pissed you off even more.

On your way to the faculty apartments on the edge of campus, you thought about the best way to handle this. Gojo would know why you lied and disobeyed him, he wasn’t stupid. There wasn’t any way you could think of to reframe the narrative either. You did it because you wanted to, and because you were angry about his ruling, and because you thought you could get away with it, and because you felt the need to act out against his authority.

You still weren’t sure what you were going to say when you stopped in front of his door, knocking before you lost your nerve. Footsteps sounded almost immediately from the other side, and then the door slid open. Gojo stood on the other side. He was dressed down for the night, wearing a casual t-shirt and sweatpants. His hair was messy and eyes uncovered, sparkling in the faint light from the lamps along the path.

“Oh, you’re awake!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t think I’d see you until tomorrow.”

“Yep, I’m all fixed up,” you said, throwing your arms out as if to present yourself. “Ieiri said you wanted to see me.”

“I can wait until you’re better rested,” Gojo said, putting on a dramatic frown.

You sighed, feeling awkward of all things. The whole time, you had been geared up for some sort of confrontation, but he was so calm, behaving just like he always did. Maybe Ieiri had misunderstood his mood.

“I don’t think I could sleep with this hanging over my head,” you told him. “Unless this is a bad time.”

“No, it’s fine. Come in,” Gojo said, opening the door wider to usher you through.

Despite the traditional exterior, his apartment was decorated in a plain yet clearly expensive style, a marble coffee table and velvet upholstery and understated lighting. What struck you the most was how good it smelled inside. The TV was on, but muted, splashing color and light into the dim room.

“Do you want tea?” Gojo offered, shutting the door. “Water? Strawberry milk?”

“I’m okay, thanks,” you said. “I’d rather get this over with.”

“Get what over with?” Gojo asked as he walked around you. He wasn’t wearing shoes, so you toed yours off, setting them next to his.

“You’re going to yell at me, aren’t you?” you said, maintaining a casual demeanor despite your anxiety.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” he said, dropping onto the couch. Those were unmistakably Fendi Pequin stripes on the armrests, the thing must have cost a small fortune and yet he was lounging on it. “Do you want me to?”

“Not especially.”

“How about you sit down,” Gojo offered, patting the spot on the couch beside him. You shuffled from foot to foot, rethinking your decision to come to his place so late at night. It was so far down from all of the other buildings. Even if you screamed, nobody would hear you. But that was stupid. He could have done anything he wanted to do to you in the hotel, and he didn’t. You were making things up to justify your discomfort.

You sat down stiffly, more than aware that you were sitting on a piece of furniture that cost as much as your mom’s car.

Gojo shut off the TV, leaving the two of you in the intimate near dark. It had been muted, but somehow the room felt even more quiet. His attitude was horribly off-putting. Ieiri said he seemed upset, but you weren’t getting that at all. If anything, he seemed more relaxed than the last time you saw him.

The silence dragged on and on, you had no idea what to do or say. You couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes, not when they were uncovered and you were alone.

Finally, he sighed theatrically. “This is my own fault,” Gojo said. “I’ve always known you had behavioral problems. I thought—I hoped that it wouldn’t come to this. You could have died.”

“But I didn’t,” you pointed out, keeping your voice steady. “Nobody died, the curse got exorcized, and everything’s fine.”

“Is that your defense for disregarding my authority, lying, and putting yourself and Oyama at risk?”

“It’s not a defense,” you said. “It’s a statement of fact.”

Gojo laughed, a sound that made you flinch away. It wasn’t forced, he sounded genuinely amused. “You are such a pain in the ass,” he said, smiling as if he was endeared by it. “I can’t tell if you’re unafraid of the consequences or if you really don’t believe you’ll face any.”

“I did face consequences,” you argued. “Didn’t Ieiri tell you how badly I was injured?”

“That’s not enough, is it? If you have the chance, you'll definitely do something like this again. The danger is a part of the thrill for a girl like you.” He hummed thoughtfully. “No, I need to take care of the underlying issue.”

“The underlying issue?” you repeated.

“You have no respect for authority—mine or otherwise.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sensei. I have the deepest respect for you,” you said, looking up at him with innocently wide eyes. It didn’t get the rise you wanted, his expression didn’t change. The unrelenting calm and friendly demeanor he maintained was beginning to creep you out.

“Normally, I don’t mind. I understand; I can’t stand people ordering me around. With you, though, it really irritates me. Maybe I should try a little more discipline.”

“What are you going to do, spank me?” you asked, raising a brow. You could hear how desperate your sarcasm sounded, an attempt to regain control over the situation.

Gojo’s head titled as he considered your taunt. “That’s not a bad idea, actually.”

You rolled your eyes, your hands curling into fists to hide your increasing anxiety. If you could read his feelings, then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, but you couldn’t tell how serious he was. “You’re funny.”

“Oh? But that wasn’t a joke. I think that might help fix your attitude.”

“So breaking my ribs wasn’t good enough, but that is?” you asked, disguising your fear and dread with more desperate scorn. “Come on, don’t be gross.”

“It was your suggestion.”

“I was joking! I didn’t actually… I mean, you can’t just…” You shook your head rather than try to finish that statement, kicking yourself for getting so flustered.

“You were never punished as a child,” Gojo said. “You said your dad left? I bet that, after that, your mom grew distant. She yelled at you, but you never faced any serious consequences for your misbehavior. You only got better at hiding your indiscretions. Is that it?”

“That’s not your business,” you said, every muscle in your body drawing up tight in response to that accusation.

“Children who aren’t taught boundaries and respect grow up to be rotten adults,” Gojo said. “Spoiled, rude, self-important adults.” With every word he moved closer.

“You would know, right?” you said, clinging onto the strength of attempted wit.

Gojo smiled. “Oh yes, I know very well. I’m rotten too. Shoko told you, didn’t she? That’s why you look so scared right now.”

“I’m not scared,” you said, clenching your jaw.

“There's been something I've been meaning to tell you for a while,” Gojo said. He put a finger beneath your chin to lift it, forcing you to meet his eyes. “You’re not as complicated of a woman as you think you are. I know you think you’re better, but in reality you’re playing the same games, just with different rules. All of the posturing to get my attention, the misbehaving, the petty tricks to make me jealous–you're so obvious.” He let out a relieved breath, smiling. “Whew, I’m glad I finally got that out.”

“What are you even saying?” You asked, pulling away from him, shaking your head fast. “This is a joke, right?”

“I almost pity you. It isn’t entirely your fault. You’re young, ignorant, and weak, you couldn’t possibly have known where this would go. It’s not in your nature to leave well enough alone.”

“Stop it,” you said, your voice harsh.

“I’m the same,” Gojo continued as if he hadn’t heard you. “It’s not in my nature to spare the weak or ignorant just because I feel bad for them. I’m not nearly that nice.”

“I know you won’t hurt me.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” he asked. “You showed up on my doorstep in the middle of the night begging me to punish you. I am a man. Even I have my limits. You've been testing them from the beginning.”

“You have to stop,” you said, your demand taking on the edge of a whine. “This is insane.”

“I’ll give you one last chance, okay? Prove me wrong. Leave,” Gojo said, backing off and gesturing to the door. “This is it, this is the last time you’ll get away without facing any consequences.”

“Gojo, why are you-”

“Three.”

“Nnn-no, wait, I-”

“Two.”

You stood up, swaying on your feet, but you didn’t run. You took one step back from him, afraid, but you didn’t run.

“One,” Gojo said, grunting the word as he got to his feet and picked you up, tossing you over his shoulder.

“No!” you shouted, struggling to escape his grasp as he carried you further into the apartment. “Stop it, put me-put me down! Stop, I want to go! I’ll leave! Put me down!”

“I warned you what would happen, it’s not my fault you never listen,” Gojo said, dumping you onto his bed. You bounced once, scrambling to get up and away. “No, don’t move,” he ordered, his voice low and authoritative, freezing you in place. His eyes sparkled inhumanly in the dim light.

“I want to go,” you said, softly, your heart racing, pounding harder because you couldn’t move. “I’m leaving, I’m going and-”

“No, you’re not,” he said, rolling his eyes as he opened a drawer on the nightstand, looking inside with a thoughtful expression. “By all means, keep up the act. The whole brat thing is pretty hot. There’s no point in punishing a girl who’s well-behaved.”

“What are you going to do?” you asked.

“I’m going to spank you for being such a naughty student,” Gojo said. “I don’t want to be too cruel, I know you’re sensitive. That’s fine. I can be nice too.” He looked up at you. “Do you think you can stay still on your own, or…?” He smirked. “Of course you can't.”

“You’re scaring me,” you said, hoping the words would break his act.

“Don’t be afraid,” Gojo told you, rolling his eyes like you were being unreasonable. “I won’t hurt you that much.”

You were going to be sick. “You can’t-”

“Of course I can,” Gojo said, pulling what you recognized as a vibrating wand and a pair of handcuffs from the drawer. “What you mean to say is that I shouldn't. You’re right about that. I'm well aware that this is a bad idea, and I might regret it, but it's too late to let that stop me. You know the feeling, don't you?”

“No, no. You,” you shook your head, unable to form the words in your shock and disbelief at this situation, “you can’t.”

“You already said that,” Gojo said, putting the toys on the bed to kneel on the very edge. You flinched away, but you didn’t dare run. He would definitely catch you, you could feel the thrill in his cursed energy. It was all a game.

“I know,” you said, trying to think of the words to reason with him and coming up short, “but… You can’t.”

“The way you’re looking at me is too good,” he said with a boyish grin. “You genuinely can’t believe that somebody finally called your bluff.”

You shook your head.

“I think this will be good for you,” he said. “You need to learn this lesson. It’s better to learn it here, in a controlled environment.”

Gojo grabbed your legs before you could scramble away. You yelped, slapping his hands when he grabbed your hips. That did nothing to deter him from flipping you onto your belly and wrestling your hoodie and shirt off before collecting your arms and pulling them behind your back. Even though you were fighting him so hard that it hurt, he was barely trying, as if the process of overpowering you was as inconsequential as putting the leash on a small dog. You cried out as he secured your wrists in the handcuffs, giving them a solid tug to test their hold. They were lined with soft material, but they obviously weren’t the fuzzy bachelorette party kind that could be easily escaped. There was no way you could get out of them on your own. You tried to use your cursed energy to break free, but it did nothing. Had he reinforced them somehow? Was that possible?

“Gojo, stop,” you demanded. “You can’t do this, you can’t!”

“It’s humiliating, isn’t it?” he asked, pulling your panties and shorts off in one go, getting them over your legs no matter how hard you tried to kick him off. “Being at the mercy of another person. Next time you think about misbehaving, think about this feeling.”

“Stop it!” you yelled, truly thrashing now. He grunted, sitting with his legs aside your torso, threatening to crush you. “Stop, get off. You’re hurting me!”

“It’s okay if you fight,” Gojo said. “But you know it doesn’t matter, don’t you? You’re so weak.”

“Stop it! Just—ngh-” He shoved your panties into your mouth before you could finish that thought, muffling the words. You just yelled in disgust, in despair, in anger. And it didn’t matter.

Gojo leaned over you, brushing your hair away from your ear to speak directly into it.

“I’m sure you’re having a difficult time thinking clearly, but it’s important you remember what I’m about to tell you,” he said. “The next time I allow you to speak, I expect you to address me properly. I really don’t think that’s too unfair. I am your teacher, I deserve some respect, don't you agree?”

You shouted through the gag, shaking your head back and forth.

Gojo hummed, dropping his shirt on the bed next to you. He lifted his weight from your back and turned around to sit on the edge of the bed. You used the opportunity to roll onto your side, trying to get away from him, but Gojo had no problem collecting you, letting you flop on the bed across his lap while you writhed helplessly. The first touch of his hand against the back of your bare thighs made you jump, tears of humiliation already pressing against the corners of your eyes.

“How many, do you think?” he asked.

No.

There was no way. You shouted in panic, kicking your legs. There was still a part of you that simply rejected this all, that couldn’t believe this would happen. Things like this didn’t happen to you. Not you.

Gojo’s palm landed loudly against your ass, the smack striking your skin with a burst of stinging pain and the sickening flush of humiliation.

“I knew you were going to be a problem from the first time we met,” he told you, rubbing his palm over the sore spot. “You think you’re better than everyone else. I can’t stand undeserved self-importance.”

He spanked you five times in quick succession, spreading them out across your ass and upper thighs. You struggled and yelled and kicked, but his other hand easily kept you in place.

“You’re not fighting very hard. I really thought it would be harder. Are you sure you weren’t secretly hoping I’d do this? You can admit it, I won’t tell anyone.”

You shouted, pooling up all over your cursed energy to fight him off. Gojo rewarded you by spanking you more, focusing on your upper thighs, slapping the same spots over and over until your shouting became sobbing and the skin buzzed, burning red hot.

“I know, that wasn’t very nice,” he said, rubbing the sore flesh, coaxing it out of becoming too numb to his touch. “You’re not very nice either, are you? Wearing all those cute little outfits to tempt me, flaunting that guy to make me jealous.” You yelled in fear when he raised his hand, but he only playfully tapped your ass, digging his long fingers in to knead it, just playing with you. “And then using your friend to taunt me… I think you deserve to be punished for that, don’t you?”

You shook your head frantically, squirming and writhing and kicking to escape. But he spanked you again, and again, and all you could do was endure the pain. Gojo mixed in the playful swats with genuine strikes, keeping you crying, always on the edge, unsure if he was going to hurt you or not, not when he was going to stop or where this would go.

You weren’t counting, and you weren’t sure if he was either, but eventually he let up.

“Mmm, that looks like it hurts,” he said, tracing the tender flesh with his fingertips. You cried, glad he couldn’t see your face. “Poor little thing. Okay, let’s-” Gojo flipped you around, pulling you up onto his lap.

Putting any amount of pressure on your stinging ass made you yelp, your back arching. He didn’t care. He grabbed the vibrator and flicked it on, pushing the head past your pussy’s outer lips to buzz against your entrance before dragging up, drawing slick circles around your clit. You thrashed against him, but your kicking legs couldn’t do anything and there was nowhere to go. Gojo moved with your struggling in an indulgent way, like he was wrangling a disobedient animal, letting you tire yourself out as he tilted the wand this way and that to really grind it against your clit.

“It’s a little intense, I know,” he said. “If you just relax and let yourself enjoy it, you’ll feel so much better.”

You pressed your face against his shoulder, telling him to stop. The words were all mush, muffled by your own panties. Every part of your body was alive and awake and agonizingly sensitive, covered in a thin film of sweat and goose-flesh and anticipation. When he casually toyed with one of your nipples, you felt it like a jolt of electric heat straight down between your legs. The vibrator’s steady hum bypassed any reasonable objection your body would have to pleasure, a reaction as invasive and involuntary as pain.

When you realized you were going to come—going to come like this—you shouted, straining your shoulders in an attempt to escape the cuffs. Gojo laughed, holding you tight as you spasmed and jerked around in his lap. Your hips bucked and the vibrator pressed against your clit just right and you almost blacked out.

“Aha, that’s it, isn’t it?” Gojo asked happily, grinding the vibrator there.

Toomuchtoomuchtoomuchtoomuch—it hurt. You tried to tell him that, you tried to fight your way out of his grasp, you tried to do anything you could to escape but it didn’t matter as your body shuddered with the orgasmic flash of pleasure, a feeling so intense it felt like nausea.

You came with a helpless cry, hiding your face against his shoulder as you jerked with each wave of stifling, intoxicating, sickening heat.

Gojo didn’t stop. You reared back to meet his eye and he just grinned, looking down between your legs to make sure he was keeping the vibrator in exactly the right place to make you spasm and kick and choke, panicked and overwhelmed.

You didn’t know if you were coming again or if it was just one long string of overstimulation tricking your mind into pleasure, but you felt it draw out like soda fizz all the way to your fingertips and toes.

“Okay, what have you learned so far?” Gojo asked, shutting the vibrator off and setting it aside. You mumbled something into the gag, tossing your head back and forth. “Oh, right.” He laughed, pulling your panties out of your mouth. “What have you learned?”

“Stop!” you told him in a wrecked voice, glaring at him with watery eyes. “It doesn’t matter how many times you spank me, or-or… I’m not playing along with your-your sick games, I’m not…” You closed your eyes, struggling to get out of his lap, sobbing and panting and angry and humiliated and-

“Wrong.” Gojo shoved your panties back into your mouth. “You know what? I’m glad you’re a difficult student. Really,” he said. “It’ll be so much more rewarding when you finally learn your lesson.”

You ignored him, squeezing your eyes shut and turning your face away.

“It doesn’t matter what I do to you,” he mused. “That’s what you said, right?”

Without warning, Gojo’s hand landed directly between your legs with a sharp smack. You screamed, really screamed, squeezing your thighs together until the muscles trembled.

“Oi, open your legs,” Gojo told you, his voice low and serious, more than you had ever heard.

You kept your eyes shut, shaking your head fast.

“You’re saying you won’t?” he asked, his fingers tracing along the seam between your legs.

You shook your head again, trying to squirm out of his lap.

“Oh my, what a brave girl,” Gojo cooed mockingly, grabbing one of your legs to pry them apart, catching it with his own leg and pinning it against the bed. He spanked your pussy two, three, four more times, each one making your body jolt violently, another cry gurgling out of your throat.

When his hand landed with a sickening smack for the fifth time, it stayed there, his fingers curling to find your entrance. You bucked against him, shouting for him to stop. Asking him to stop. The words were muffled, there was nothing you could do other than cry and toss your head to the side as he pushed his fingers into you, you couldn’t even close your legs.

“What’s this?” Gojo asked, pulling his fingers out of you. They glistened with evidence of your arousal, of your shame. “It really makes me question which one of us is sick.”

“You!” you shouted, trying to make yourself heard over the gag.

“Me?” Gojo asked, his eyes wide with innocence. “You’re the one who’s getting wet for your teacher. That’s pretty twisted.”

He pushed his fingers back into your pussy, driving them deep and curling them on the way out. For the first time, his breathing was getting unsteady. He kept rolling his hips up to grind against your ass, letting you feel his erection.

“Aaah, you’re really wet. And tight.” He thrust his fingers back into you with a wet squish, scissoring and curling them to make you spasm and shake. “Hey, hey, I’m gonna give you an out right now, okay?” Gojo said, his voice quick with excitement. “If you ask me nicely, we can suspend your punishment and get on to the fun stuff instead.”

He pulled his fingers out to take your panties out of your mouth, dropping them onto the bed.

“Come on,” Gojo said. “Ask me. I know you want it.”

You set your jaw, glaring at him through teary eyes. It was weak, pathetic, and petty, but silence was the only thing you could think to do that wasn’t giving him what he wanted.

He frowned, put out with your response.

“Jeez, you’re such an insufferable brat!” Gojo complained, flipping you onto your stomach. The sudden slap of skin meeting skin followed by the pain when he spanked you again made you scream, your legs pathetically kicking, your shoulders straining to free your hands.

“Stop!” you yelled, your voice shrill.

“Oh? But I thought you were being brave?” He said mockingly, spanking you again, and again.

You sobbed, pressing your face into the bed to muffle yourself as his hand came down again. Even though you fought him, there was nothing you could do to make him stop. True helplessness. It hurt, and there was no escape from it. Not when he took the time to brush his fingers across the tortured skin in between bursts, soothing you with a gentle touch.

“I don’t understand why you’re being such a baby about this,” Gojo said. He grabbed one of your stinging ass cheeks, pulling it to get a good look at your pussy. You knew you were wet. It wasn’t your fault, but you felt the same shame. “It can’t hurt that bad. If I used a cane or a belt or something I’d get it, but I think you’re just making a big deal to try and make me feel bad. It’s not working. You deserve this and, between you and me, it’s kind of sexy to see you so pathetic.”

Without warning, Gojo tossed you onto the bed face up, your arms pinned uncomfortably beneath your back. Your back arched and you dug your heels into the mattress, pushing yourself up the bed until you were curled against the headboard, your legs up to try and hide as much of your body as possible.

“By the way, are you a virgin?” Gojo asked, shoving his pants and underwear off in one go before looking for something on the floor. He found it quickly, returning to the bed. He didn’t care about his nudity. Why should he? He was beautiful and he knew it. Of course Satoru Gojo wouldn’t stop at being the strongest, or the most handsome, or whatever, of course he would have the perfect cock too. “I don’t care either way, I’m just curious.”

“No,” you whispered, shaking your head, averting your eyes from his body to meet his as you pushed yourself into the headboard. They glittered in the dim light, wide and excited.

“No, you’re not a virgin?” Gojo asked. You realized what he had grabbed from the floor when he caught your ankle, forcing your foot through a loop he’d made with his belt.

“No! No, no, stop!” You shouted, trying to keep him from getting your other foot. He frowned when you kicked at him, desperate to keep him away. The resistance of his cursed energy kept you from actually kicking him, and you were rewarded with a hard, mean slap against your inner thigh. You squealed, giving him the chance to get your other foot in the belt cuffs before securing them.

“I was gonna be nice about this, but I guess not,” he said. You whined, sobbing. “You probably like it rough anyway, right? Girls like you always do.”

He pushed your knees up to make space between your legs, letting your bound ankles fall onto his back. You watched him stroking his cock. This was going to happen. He truly intended to fuck you. It didn’t set in until right in that moment how utterly powerless you were to this violation. His fingers had been one thing, but his cock was big enough to hurt if he wasn’t gentle.

“Don’t do this,” you whispered, your voice weak and pathetic. “Satoru, I’m begging you not to. I’m sorry, okay? That’s what you want me to say, right? I’m sorry, so don’t-”

“It’s too late for that,” Gojo said, separating your pussy’s outer lips, his tongue peeking out as he lined up his cock. You made a helpless sound of upset, trying to buck him off, but there was nowhere for you to go. “If you were really sorry, you should have apologized when I gave you the chance.” He pushed his hips forward, just a little, testing the resistance.

“Sensei!” you said, your panicked thoughts finding something to cling onto to make him stop. “Sensei, please stop. Please.”

Gojo smiled, his lips parting when he forced the head of his cock past the initial resistance of your pussy with a jarring pop. He groaned, both of his hands holding onto your waist while he shallowly rocked his hips.

Your mouth fell open, a sensation like shock striking against the viscerally real weight of his dick inside of you. That fell away to panic when he began to move, pushing a little deeper with a pinching ache.

“Ah—fff-take it out!” you squealed.

“Ah, and you were being so good for me,” he said, jolting your body with a hard, mean thrust. You whimpered, and writhed, and your pussy clamped down around him to try and force him out, but it didn’t matter. He was bigger and stronger and you were drenched from the vibrator. “Look at me.”

As soon as you met his eye, he pushed a little deeper, clearly reveling in the way it made your expression twist in pain and betrayal, more tears forming in your eyes and streaking down your temples. He licked his lips, rolling his hips shallowly to let you adjust to the size and weight of his cock. Like he was being nice.

“How can I feel bad when you look at me like that?” he asked, his voice lower and breathy. He pushed deeper again, your body jolting and a helpless sound punched out of your chest.

“It hurts,” you ground out through your teeth, more tears falling into your hair. The desire to be brave faded in direct relation to how much of his cock was inside of you. Being spanked was one thing, but the internal pain of violation wasn’t something you could handle. It was too intimate, too profound, too cruel.

“Yeah, you’re way too tight. That guy clearly hasn’t been fucking you properly. Do you want your sensei to make it better? I’ll help you, all you have to do is ask.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, weighing your options. Option. “Please, sensei,” you said, hating yourself a little more.

“Look at me when you’re begging,” Gojo said.

You winced, but the sudden snap of his hips made you relent. You met his dangerous, beautiful eyes. “Please, Gojo-sensei. It hurts, please make it better.”

“Aw, you’re such a good girl,” he cooed, grabbing your cheeks. “Of course I’ll help you.” His hand lowered to pin you down by the neck while he fumbled in the sheets beside you with the other. You heard the vibrator turn on a second before it was against your clit. There wasn’t anywhere for your body to go when you seized up, your back snapping into a nearly painful arch.

“No!” you yelped, but it was hard to get anything out from the obstruction of his hand on your neck.

It didn’t matter that his cock was big enough to hurt as he continued to push it into you. It didn’t matter that your shoulders burned or that your hands were numb.

“Go ahead and come,” Gojo told you sweetly. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? It’ll make this easier.”

You grit your teeth, breathing out hard through your nose, trembling as that little bubble burst, your pussy spasming around his cock as he began to set a steady pace. When his hips met your ass, slapping against the raw skin, you cried and yelled, but it all got lost in the confused haze of pleasure and pain and confusion and disgust and so much, too much.

Gojo was laughing. Fucking you too fast and too hard, focusing the vibrator right against your clit to keep you moving with him, your body writhing beneath his like you wanted it, soaking his cock until the room was filled with the profane sound of skin slapping and wet squelching.

“Mmm, it feels good, right?” Gojo asked. “I know you think I’m mean, but I really only want to take care of you.”

You came again, babbling the words ‘no’ and ‘can’t’ and ‘stop’ as if they had any meaning anymore, as if you weren’t well on your way to coming again despite how torturous the excess of stimulation had become.

“Sometimes, that means I have to be a little hard on you.” He fucked you hard enough to knock your head into the headboard, the entire thing pounding against the wall with each solid thrust. It hurt, it felt like he was splitting you apart, slamming against your cervix without even an attempt at kindness. But, at the same time, he turned the vibrator up a setting, rubbing little circles onto your clit.

Gojo put a hand on your mouth to stifle your scream, it was that loud and shrill, borderline feral with the terrifying intensity of your orgasm. You didn’t want to come anymore. You really didn’t, you felt like you were going to die if you did. And he laughed, giving up on the hard pace to fuck you fast, his breathing becoming increasingly unsteady and his laugh shivering out into moans.

Sobbing into his hand, you came again, unable to understand anything beyond the cock pounding into you and the vibrator torturing your clit.

Gojo dropped the vibrator suddenly, pulling out of you with a helpless sound. For a second, you heard the lewd schlick schlick schlick of his hand desperately fisting his cock and then you felt hot spurts of cum on your chest and your stomach. He finally took his hand off of your mouth, turning the vibrator off. All you could hear was your breathing and his breathing and the frantic pounding of blood in your ears.

“Whew, okay,” Gojo said, lifting your legs to get out from under them. “Where were we with the lesson? I think… I was spanking you and you were being a brat about it. Have you had a change of heart?”

You sobbed brokenly, squeezing your eyes shut. Trying to adjust to the shift of tone while you were still reeling from getting fucked, your torso covered in sweat and cum, felt like one of the most cruel things he had done so far.

“Please, sensei, please no more,” you begged, your voice breathy and cracking at the end. “Gojo-sensei please, I-I do, I respect you. I’ll—anything, please just…”

“Ahh, there’s a good girl. Finally,” Gojo said gently. “Okay, three more, and then I’ll forgive you.”

“No!” you cried hoarsely. “Please, no more.” You strained against the cuffs, thrashing as much as you were able. “Please, I’ll do… Please.”

“I need to make sure the lesson sticks,” Gojo said sweetly. “You’ve been so unreceptive. Three more, and then I’ll let you come again.”

“No!” you squealed, even more upset by that. The idea of feeling the vibrator again physically hurt, it was almost worse than the idea of him spanking you again.

“I want you to count them, okay?” Gojo asked pitilessly.

You sobbed, shaking your head, but you couldn’t do anything when he rolled you onto your belly.

“Don’t be so dramatic about it,” he scolded, getting behind you and pulling your hips up so you were on your knees, your back arching. He spanked you and you yelped, burying your face in the pillows. Gojo waited before sighing. “Count them, otherwise I’ll lose track. You wouldn’t want that, would you? We’d be here all night.”

You sniffled, peeling your face out of the pillows to turn your head. “One,” you whispered.

His hand landed again, right over the first. You cried out a word that mostly sounded like, “Two!”

And again, one of the hardest so far. “Thre-EE-”

“There, wasn’t that easy?” Gojo cooed, flipping you around and grabbing your ankles by the belt cuffs, pushing your knees up to your chest. When you heard the vibrator turn on, you tried to get away, squealing out your objections, sobbing and desperate and flinching away from the mere idea of more. It was like being presented with a bottle of liquor after a bout of alcohol poisoning.

“No, please no more, I can’t, please.”

“I told you, one more,” Gojo said. “You can do one more, can’t you? I think you can.”

You wailed when he pushed the vibrator against your swollen, oversensitive pussy, grinding it in little circles right over your clit while you spasmed and shook and tried desperately to escape the inevitable.

Coming when you were so overstimulated wasn’t pleasant, it was just more and more and too much, all of it piled onto your overloaded nervous system and making you shake as the pitiless heat flared up to bursting, pulling your body taut, and then it snapped, leaving you even more helplessly, hopelessly overstimulated than before.

Gojo didn’t pull it away, continuing to grind the vibrator against your clit, cruelly drawing out your feverish torment.

You wailed, your head tossing back into the pillows, your hips wildly trying to twist out of his reach. “Yo—ou said-”

“One more,” Gojo finished for you. “Come on, don’t be such a baby about it.”

Your nostrils flared and you sobbed pathetically and your pussy felt like it was burning just as desperately as your sore ass, but Gojo was going to wring one more orgasm out of you. It wasn’t hard, even if it hurt. Even if you cried and shook and felt the world darken around the edges when you felt the surge of pleasure fizzle out through you before it left you pained and panting and miserable.

But he finally shut the toy off, letting it fall to the side.

“What do we say?” Gojo asked, dropping your legs and falling onto his side next to you, propping his head up with one hand.

You groaned, your chest hitching with every breath. “I don’t…”

“Thank you, sensei,” he prompted sweetly, “for teaching me manners.”

“Thank you, sensei,” you repeated dumbly, keeping your eyes closed rather than acknowledge his heavy stare. “Thank you for teaching me manners.”

He laughed. “Wow, that’s really embarrassing. Earlier you were bragging about how it didn’t matter what I did to you, weren’t you? I was almost impressed with your resolve, it’s a shame to see it cave in so easily. What happened?”

You sobbed, shaking your head. “Shut up, you’re… It wasn’t my fault, it was you who… who…”

Gojo hissed, pulling a breath in through his teeth. It was a bad sound. A dangerous sound. “What was that?”

“Nothing,” you said, your eyes snapping open with fear. “I’m sorry, I’m…”

He frowned. “Maybe you haven’t learned your lesson after all,” he heaved out a big breath, sitting up. “That’s fine, I’m ready to go again. Anything for my favorite student, hm?”

#gojo satoru #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #jjk gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #not sfw #tw. noncon #my writing #EVERYONE KNOWS IT

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pioneergirlsie · 1 year

Text

Frickin’ Watermelon

Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader

Summary: The 141 finds out about your skincare routine, and you wonder if one of your teammates might benefit from having one also.

A/N: This is my debut piece for the CoD fandom. I fell fast and hard for MW, and I thought this piece up while scrubbing my face one night, trying to keep the acne at bay. I hope you enjoy!

As a sniper, you have to keep your face out of sight. You prefer face paint, camouflaging yourself to blend in. You’d gotten quite good as quickly painting yourself and heading out for whatever mission was next.

Unfortunately, on this mission, they decide rather last minute to use your sniping skills, simply shrugging when you asked for face paint. They hand you a balaclava, which would do the job fine.

You slip it on, slightly peeved that you couldn’t use your paint. There is a reason you wear paint. The longer you wear that face covering, the more you feel like you were going to choke on your own breath. It is hot and humid, and the balaclava gathers sweat and oil and dirt and hot breath, keeping them all close to your face.

Wiping the sweat from your forehead, you force yourself to take a few deep breaths, lifting the mask a bit to let some fresh air in from time to time.

You spend several miserable days out on that mission. The final morning when you pull on the balaclava, it rubs painfully against some recently developed acne.

Mercifully, the mission ends successfully, and you return to base. After a quick shower to degrime from your time in the field, all you want to do was fall into bed, but that acne is just getting worse.

Half asleep, you reach for your bottle of face wash. It was watermelon-scented pink gel that works wonders for you. You scrub your face with it, put on some moisturizer, and stumble your way to bed.

—————————————————————————

“What do you even need face wash for? Isn’t water good enough for the princess?”

You might have hit Soap for his teasing if you hadn’t detected a hint of genuine curiosity in the question.

“There’s no way water is going to cut through all the grime on your ugly mug,” you tease back. “For a guy called Soap, you should use some a little more often.”

“Ouch,” Soap says with a grin.

After a long day of training, you, Soap, Ghost, and a few other members of the 141 have gathered to just relax. You don’t know how the conversation turned to your skincare routine, but here you are. These boys are oddly fascinated with the care you give to your personal hygiene.

“I’m honestly surprised you guys don’t get acne more often. That one mission a few weeks back, I had to wear a mask the whole time I was in the field, and I broke out so bad,” you said. “It was awful!”

You caught Ghost’s eyes after that remark. *He* wore a mask all the time. But it was different for him. The mask was part of him at this point. It was freeing, somehow, in a way you couldn’t quite grasp; for you, it was smothering.

If you got that bad of acne from a couple days with your face covered, you had to wonder: did Ghost ever break out?

“You know, if you ever want to try it, I can give you a full rundown of the routine. Face wash, moisturizer, the whole works,” you said, directing your comment to Soap. Then, meeting Ghost’s eyes, you added, “You can’t miss the face wash. Bottle of pink gel in with my stuff.”

Soap snorts, and Ghost doesn’t say a word. You didn’t want to straight-out say that he could use your wash if he wanted to. After all, “skin care” didn’t have the manliest connotations. His eyes reveal nothing of his thoughts on the matter.

“Pink? I suppose it smells all fancy, too?” Soap laughs.

“Well, of course! Nothing too girly, though. Just some light, fresh watermelon scent,” you reply.

“Ah yes, watermelon! The manliest of all scents,” Soap says.

This time, you do hit him.

—————————————————————————

After a few days away on a mission, you are glad to be back on base. It hadn’t been a bad time out in the field, but it had been boring. You guess that’s better than things going horribly wrong, but you’d like at least a little fun while you’re out.

After a hot shower, you move to the sink to wash your face. You reach for your bottle of pink face wash. As you lift it, you realize it feels slightly lighter than it had before you left. You level the bottle, looking at how much is left. It’s not much emptier, but it’s definitely less than you thought you’d had before this mission.

But maybe you just were misremembering. After all, the bottle was exactly where you’d left it. You liked to display it in the corner with the cute watermelon decal facing outward, and that’s precisely how it had been.

With a shake of your head, you dismissed the thought and washed your face.

—————————————————————————

Your strides were quick as you made your way toward Price’s office. He’d asked to see you, and while it wasn’t urgent, you liked to make a good impression by being as punctual as possible.

In your haste, you nearly bump into Ghost, who’s turning the corner.

“Oh! Sorry!” you exclaim as you check up, barely keeping from smacking into him.

He nods at you as he continues on. As he passed, you swear you catch the scent of watermelon. You whip around, watching him walk away, but saying nothing before continuing to Price’s office.

—————————————————————————

You clutch the brown paper bag in your hand as you make your way to your lieutenant’s room. After slowly watching your face wash deplete seemingly on its own for several more days and catching a few more whiffs of watermelon whenever you were near Simon Riley, you were fairly confident you knew where it was going.

You didn’t want the man to have to keep using your face wash forever, though, so you’d gotten him a bottle of his own. Unfortunately, the stuff only came in the cute bottle with the watermelon decal, so you also bought a plain opaque bottle to put the pink gel in. You couldn’t resist adding a label with a skull and crossbones on it that read “Poison” just for fun.

The rest of the contents of the bag were some more intense acne treatments for breakouts and stubborn spots along with wipes for the black paint he used around his eyes and moisturizer. You’d also written a note with detailed instructions on how and when and what order in which to use the products.

You were just going to set the bag outside his door and maybe knock and run. The moment you bent to set it down, however, the door swung open to reveal Ghost.

His eyes met yours, then traveled down to the bag in your hand.

“What’s that?” he asked.

You blushed. Why did he have to catch you?

“It’s… um… for you,” you finally blurt and shove the bag at him.

Ghost gives you a suspicious look. He takes it and opens it before you can run. His eyes quickly scan the contents, and he pulls out the “Poison” bottle of face wash. He meets your eyes again. His eyes are nearly unreadable, but you catch a hint of curiosity there.

“Face wash,” you explain. “I thought maybe you’d like your own. And I put in some extra stuff, too. And instructions. If you want. Or if you… don’t.”

*Why* had you thought this was a good idea?

Ghost stares at you for a few more seconds, making you wish the floor would open up and swallow you. Finally, he breaks the silence.

“It was the frickin’ watermelon, wasn’t it?”

You blink. “What?”

“That day we met in the hall. You smelled it, didn’t you?”

“I… I thought I did,” you admit.

“You did a whole three-sixty after I passed,” he accuses. “Shoulda stopped using it then.”

“No!” you quickly say. “No, I’d hoped you’d use it. If you needed to. Or wanted to, even. I didn’t know if you’d really take me up on it.”

Neither of you speak for a moment. He stands there, face wash and bag still in hand.

“I can show you how to use the rest of the stuff if you want,” you suddenly offer.

Ghost gives you a sharp look.

“I mean, I’d do it on my face and explain it. You wouldn’t have to take off your mask or anything. I just thought…” you trail off.

You’ve stared down armed enemies before and not been this nervous. Now you are practically oozing awkwardness. The confident soldier was reduced to a bundle of nerves over a discussion about skin care.

“You wrote instructions, yeah?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

He hesitates a moment, shifting the bottle in his hand.

“Better run through it once so I can keep it all straight.”

You give him a bright smile, immediately turning on your heel and making your way to your sink where you keep all of your products. You look around carefully before entering with Ghost, making sure no prying eyes spotted you. Locking the door behind you, you arranged all of your bottles and containers, beginning the lesson.

Ghost listened intently as you explained what each product did and how to best use them, giving a nod here and here. You demonstrated and gave tips, like dabbing the face with the washcloth and towel instead of scrubbing it to avoid further irritation. You went through each step, making sure to take your time.

“And then you take about this much moisturizer,” you say, dabbing a bit on your finger and spreading it. “And you spread it evenly. If you have dry patches, you can give those a little more. But after that, you’re done!”

You turn and give him a smile.

“Thanks,” he says after a moment. “Thanks for… this.” He holds up the bag. “And for this.” He gestures vaguely, probably meaning your little lesson.

“Of course,” you say. “Can’t have my favorite LT going without proper skincare, can we?”

You both stand there a moment more. The silence is not uncomfortable. There’s something there, something unsaid, but you don’t mind. This is enough.

It takes you a moment to realize, but his eyes are smiling back at you.

#elsie writes #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #modern warfare #call of duty #ghost x reader #ghost imagine #simon ghost riley imagine #simon riley #ghost #simon riley x reader #simon riley imagine

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matchingbatbites · 2 months

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somehow we're here

Explicit | 6.5k | Modern AU | Full Tags + Read on Ao3

Steve only downloaded the app because he was drunk.

At least, that’s what he’ll tell himself in the morning, once he’s back in the light of day and not half-gone on a few fruity cocktails and multiple shots of tequila - at least three, though it’s realistically more like five or six. Nevermind that he’s been home for almost an hour at this point, is only still awake because of the vague nausea still rolling in his stomach.

It had been incredibly easy to set up an account, even in his drunken state - something he thinks might be a feature and not a bug - and he’s been scrolling on it for about ten minutes when he realizes-

He’s still bored.

Because that had been the real reason, hadn’t it?

Steve is bored. Bored of first dates that seem to go nowhere, of relationships that seem to fizzle out after a few weeks, and for whatever reason, Tequila Steve seems convinced that a gay dating app would be a fun thing to sign up for. It’s not like he has anything to lose, he’s just bored and kind of horny and definitely not lonely and desperate.

So Steve flips through profiles, taking in photos of the same waifish boys and beefy gym bros. He’s just about ready to give up and try to sleep through the nausea, when he stumbles across a profile that makes him stop cold.

The photo looks like it’s from a concert or something; the guy is on a stage, clearly mid-show, with a wicked looking guitar in his hands. Steve’s eyes get caught on those hands, the veins and the painted nails and the chunky, silver rings.

His hair is a riot of dark curls haloed by the stage lights, and Steve regrets that he isn’t able to see the man’s face. He focuses instead on his clothes, the black t-shirt and ripped jeans, his exposed forearms littered with black ink.

The photo is so honest. It’s pure, simple emotion and Steve is instantly drawn in, eager to know more about this person.

The next photo is closer, clearly cropped down from a larger picture, and Steve gets his first good look at the man’s beautiful face. Deep, chocolate eyes that house a delighted sparkle, a blinding smile that sets loose a swarm of butterflies in Steve’s stomach. Not to mention the piercings; two just below his lower lip and another through his eyebrow - Steve briefly wonders if he has more, maybe his tongue or his nipples - fuck, that would be so hot.

In the last photo the man is seated on a couch, holding an acoustic guitar this time, and he seems focused on whatever he’s playing, clearly unaware of the camera-person at all. Those brown curls are pulled into an updo, revealing ears littered with even more silver jewelry, and there’s a cute little crinkle between his brows that Steve wants to smooth out with his thumb.

Steve scrolls down to actually read the guy’s profile, and sees that his name is Eddie. He’s 27 and local to the area, he likes metal music and D&D, and he definitely seems to check a lot of Steve’s boxes. Nerdy? Yeah. Hot? Fuck yeah. Confident? If the concert photo is anything to go by, this man has confidence coming out his ass. So yeah, check there too.

He adds the guy without hesitation, and will once again blame Tequila Steve for what’s next once he’s sober. He sends Eddie a message.

‘Hi, i’m straight, i literally just got this app cause im kinda bord and kinda drunk. But you’re actually my type. Can I be honest?’

Steve doesn’t really expect an immediate response, considering that it’s two in the morning and all, so he decides to flip over to a different app, already knowing that he isn’t really going to care about anyone else he might come across. He’s surprised when only a couple of minutes later, he gets back a simple ‘Sure lmao’, and scrambles to flip back over to the messenger.

‘I didint think i’d message anyone on here but your cute and hnestly i geuss i kinda like that you won’t get pregnant.’

He decides to wait this time, to see if he’ll get another quick response, and he holds his breath when the typing indicator pops up, only to disappear again. It does this a couple of times, like Eddie is writing and pausing, or erasing and starting over, and Steve just waits, so curious to know what the other man is going to say.

‘Are you free tomorrow? I need to know if you’re as adorably endearing when you’re sober.’

Steve gasps in delight. Eddie wants to meet him! He kicks his feet a little in excitement and messages back ‘I can be as endering as you want me to be baby.’ It takes him a second to realize he hadn’t actually answered Eddie’s question, and he sends a follow up ‘Yes i am free tomorow.’

‘Meet me at Hank’s on 6th? 7pm?’

He confirms the time and place, and even as giddy as he is, Steve’s barely able to exchange a few more messages before he’s out like a light.

Steve wakes up the next morning with a headache. It’s nowhere near the level of one of his migraines, but it’s enough to be annoying as he gets up and starts his day. He’s thankful it’s Saturday, that all he really has to worry about are some errands and brunch with Robin.

A quick shower and a cup of coffee has him feeling more alive, but meeting up with Robin makes him feel better than anything else could. She looks about as bad as he does, which is interesting considering that she didn’t even come with him to the club last night.

They chatter on for a while, with Steve letting her rant again about the situation she finds herself in (she refuses to drop Vickie even though the girl bounces between her on-again-off-again boyfriend and Robin like a fucking ping pong ball, and she also refuses to admit her growing feelings for Chrissy, her roommate turned friend with benefits. It’s a whole mess.)

She asks about his own dating life, and he honestly has nothing new to report. He’d gone out last night intending to at least find someone to take home, but once he actually got into the scene, the effort just didn’t seem worth it for a temporary fix.

Instead he drank, and he danced with strangers until the room started to spin, and then he made his way home. He’d had fun, even though he'd ended his night alone. Robin hums and pours another drink from the pitcher between them - White Peach Sangria this week, and it’s good, though Steve prefers the Bloody Mary they had last time.

“We're kind of pathetic, huh?”

“I mean, you are,” Steve replies, and shrugs when she gives an affronted Hey! “I might be single, but you're the one who's letting a great girl slip through your fingers because you can’t say no to your fickle ex.”

“She’s not fickle-”

“Where was she last night?” Steve asks, staring Robin down until she says “With me.”

“Mhm. And where is she now?”

Robin frowns hard and grumbles “With Jack.”

Steve gives her a look, and she sinks down a little in her seat.

“You know, sometimes I forget that you were friends with the mean girls in high school, and then you hit me with that fucking Carol Perkins face and it all comes flooding back,” she says, and Steve rolls his eyes.

“Stop being a drama queen, and stop waiting for Vickie to change her mind about Jack. It’s not fair for her to come running to you every time they have a fight if she has no intention of actually leaving him for you. You deserve better, Rob.”

Robin groans and drains the last of her glass. “When did you get so wise and shit?”

“Fuck you,” Steve says, no heat behind it as he kicks her under the table. “I know how relationships work and shit. You’re the one who doesn’t listen to me.”

She kicks him back with a “Yeah, yeah. Come on, let’s finish this pitcher so I can go home and wallow.”

The notification comes in after brunch, once he and Robin have parted ways and Steve’s just parked at the grocery store (he doesn’t take Robin with him to the store anymore, for both of their sakes).

‘Hey, just want to make sure we’re still good for tonight?’

Tonight? What’s tonight?

It takes him a moment to remember his actions from the night before, to remember the app. Steve’s stomach flips at the vague memory of a conversation and he opens the messenger. He scrolls up, reading his message history with this Eddie person, and oh god.

Is it possible to get secondhand embarrassment from your own actions? Your very drunk and somewhat horny actions? The guy seemed to take it pretty well, at least, and Steve taps over to his profile out of curiosity.

And yeah, okay, Tequila Steve had a point. He’s never thought about dating a guy before, but this man is hot, just absolutely sexy in a way Sober Steve isn’t prepared for. He had been planning on telling this Eddie guy that he was drunk when he agreed to meet, that he wasn’t interested, but now that would be a lie. Because he’s definitely interested.

He sends a ‘Yup! Still good :)’ and then quickly follows it with ‘I was so drunk last night that I kind of forgot about our conversation, so I’m glad you messaged me!’

Eddie’s reply takes a second, that starting and stopping going on just long enough to make Steve nervous before a message comes through.

‘Oh damn! I’m glad I did too. Though you did tell me last night that you’re straight, so I won’t hold it against you if you don’t want to meet anymore. I know alcohol can make us do things we normally wouldn’t.’

Oh, he’s sweet. Steve actually does decide to think about it, and flips back over to Eddie’s profile as he does. He goes through the photos again, imagines what it would be like to be close, be intimate with Eddie the way he has with women. It doesn’t scare him the way he thinks it should, because he doesn’t actually think it would be that different. Sex is just sex, right? It’s the person that makes it fun, makes it special. And Eddie definitely seems like a special one.

What reaffirms Steve’s decision is the last photo, where Eddie is holding the acoustic. His eyes catch again on those ringed fingers, on the rough, clearly hand cut neckline of Eddie’s shirt. He thinks about what it would be like to lick the jut of Eddie’s exposed collar bone, and the shiver that runs down his spine has him immediately flipping back to the conversation.

‘I definitely still want to meet. As embarrassing as I was last night, I was telling the truth.’

‘Oh good! Nice to know that sober Steve also thinks I’m cute and is glad I can’t get pregnant.’

Steve groans and drops his head onto the steering wheel a few times. He's never gonna live that one down, is he?

Another message comes through before he can be too mortified, though he almost regrets looking when he sees ‘Unless sober Steve is more upset by that than glad’ which is followed rapidly by ‘It’s okay baby, we can always pretend if you want ;)’

This man is gonna fucking kill Steve.

Hank's on 6th is a little dive bar that Steve has actually been to a few times, when he and Robin had wanted to go drinking but hadn’t wanted to deal with the noise and bustle of the club. It’s cozy compared to other bars in the area, and Steve is happy for the familiarity of the location as he steps inside. He pauses inside the door and glances around, looking for- oh.

Sitting at a nearby table is Eddie, in the flesh. He’s even more stunning in person, with his hair pulled up into a bun, showing off the jewelry in his ears and the long line of his neck. He’s wearing a dark t-shirt and jeans, and Steve can see a leather jacket slung over the back of his chair.

Eddie spots Steve about the same time and waves, inviting him over. He does his own once-over as Steve approaches, and Steve knows what he looks like. He spent long enough in front of the mirror agonizing over his appearance, making sure everything was perfect. His red sweater is comfortable even though it’s a smidge too small, and he can see Eddie’s eyes catch on the way it stretches across his shoulders, on his forearms where he’s rolled the sleeves up.

“Not gonna lie,” Eddie says as Steve sits down. “I’m kind of surprised you showed up.”

“I said I would. Tequila Steve might not be the smartest, but sometimes he has good ideas.”

Eddie laughs and Steve is overwhelmed with the desire to dig his thumb into the dimple that appears in the man’s cheek. “Well I hope I get the chance to thank him someday.”

Eddie’s photos don’t do him justice, don’t properly convey the energy he has. They get on better than Steve would have imagined, and while the conversation lulls every now and then, it never truly stops. His piercings catch the light, pulling Steve's attention down to his mouth, to the way it moves while Eddie speaks. It’s distracting, and the teasing smile Eddie wears for the conversation tells Steve that he knows.

Steve learns that Eddie works at an assisted living facility, something he never would have guessed based on the man’s appearance. It’s not a job Eddie ever expected to have, but he loves it, loves helping people who need it and gossiping with the old biddies that have taken a shine to him. In exchange Steve talks about his job as a physical therapist, how he recently started his experiential hours so he can specialize in pediatrics.

(“I feel kind of dumb now,” Eddie says. “Knowing that you’re a whole ass doctor and I just have a CNA.”

“Eddie, I majored in kinesiology. You’re probably better in a medical setting than I ever will be.”)

They talk about their hobbies and interests, pleased to learn there’s a little bit of crossover with everything. They may not know the ins and outs, but Steve has absorbed some knowledge on D&D thanks to the kids he used to babysit, and Eddie likes to watch sports with his uncle to keep him company on his off days.

They sit and talk for a long while, completely unaware of the time passing until Steve looks at his watch and realizes it’s been nearly four hours since they sat down.

“Holy shit, it’s almost eleven,” he says, and Eddie blinks in surprise. “Oh wow, I had no idea.”

It’s like they’ve been snapped back into reality, and Steve notices the half dozen beer bottles littering their table along with the bill that’s been there for who knows how long. Steve pays the check - nearly shoves his card into the server’s hand so he can beat Eddie to it - and they both leave cash for the tip before heading out of the bar.

It’s outside Hank’s that the hesitation sets in. This is one of the best dates Steve has been on in a long, long time, and he really isn’t ready for it to be over. He thinks Eddie feels the same, if the way he reaches over to thread their fingers together means anything.

“Do you want to come back to my place?” Steve asks, practically on impulse, and Eddie smiles.

“I would love to, Stevie.” He takes a breath like he wants to say something else, but pauses, and Steve squeezes his hand gently.

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m trying to figure out how to tell you that I want to have sex with you without sounding like a slut who puts out on the first date.”

Well, that’s fair. Steve doesn’t usually have sex on the first date either. He likes the connection that comes with knowing someone emotionally before learning them physically, but there’s just something about Eddie. Steve feels like he knows the man inside and out after just four hours together, and he knows it’s fast but he wonders what it would feel like to wake up next to him in the morning.

Steve just grins at the blunt honesty and tugs Eddie closer. “If you’re a slut then so am I, because I’m definitely down for that.”

The drive back to Steve’s place doesn’t take long, and before he knows it he’s locking the door behind them as Eddie sheds his leather jacket. He drapes it over the back of the couch as he looks around, taking in Steve’s apartment. It’s not much, but it’s comfortable, cozy, very different from the sterile house Steve grew up in.

Eddie smiles as he sees the trinkets dotted about, a mix of gifts from the kids Steve used to babysit and his own little knick knacks, but pauses when he sees a photo collage of Steve and Robin on the nearby wall. Steve doesn’t like the way his smile dips down into a frown, and he walks over to wrap his arm around Eddie’s waist.

“That’s Robin,” he says as he pulls Eddie into his side, needing to quell any doubts or misconceptions he might be having. “She’s my best friend in the entire world, and a lesbian, so you can stop pouting now.”

Eddie gives him a bit of a side-eye and says “Not pouting. Just want to make sure you’re not doing this behind the back of an unsuspecting girlfriend or something.”

Steve smiles at the consideration and shakes his head as he turns Eddie to face him. “No girl, Eds, I promise. Just you and me.”

Something about that seems to be the final straw for Eddie because he surges forward, hands landing on Steve's neck as he leans up to press their mouths together.

The first kiss with Eddie is easy. It’s not earth-shattering or life changing, not like Steve thought it would be kissing a man for the first time. It feels like a normal kiss, and honestly that’s more of a comfort to Steve than anything. The fact that it’s Eddie on the other side of the kiss is what makes him shudder, makes him press closer.

Eddie’s hands push up into his hair, messing up the styling as Steve dips his head to kiss along his jaw. He hums into smooth skin and slides his own hands down to Eddie’s ass, squeezing it briefly before using his grip to drag Eddie’s hips against his own.

He can feel the line of Eddie’s dick through the layers of denim and yeah, that’s different, but not bad at all. Steve warms up to it pretty quickly actually, especially once Eddie starts moaning into his ear, a low “Fuck, baby,” that only encourages Steve to continue. Their mouths meet in another kiss as Steve grinds their hips together, each thrust working to drive Steve absolutely insane.

Eddie’s hands eventually make their way south to ruck up Steve’s sweater, and he breaks the kiss just enough to mutter “Off, get this off,” against Steve's mouth.

Steve laughs but steps back, pulls off his top and drops it carelessly to the floor. Eddie groans and reaches out, not even hesitating before he pushes his hands into Steve’s chest hair. “God, I’ve been wanting to do that since I saw your photo last night,” he mutters, and it takes Steve a moment to remember the picture he’d drunkenly added to his profile.

It was just a typical shirtless thirst shot he’d taken before a run one day (though he had put a shirt on before he actually left, thank you), because he’d felt good about the way he looked - and clearly Eddie had appreciated the picture as well. Steve shudders as Eddie scrapes his nails down his chest, and he half-expects Eddie to start purring in delight.

“Is it as good as you imagined?” he asks, biting back a chuckle, and Eddie nods.

“Better than. So fuckin’ hot. Don't ever shave it, I beg you.”

Steve does laugh at that. He lets Eddie get his fill for a moment before swooping in to kiss him again. He slips his fingers into Eddie’s belt loops and mutters a “Bed?” against his mouth. Eddie hums in agreement and Steve tugs him along, guiding him to the bedroom and only stopping once to grind their hips together.

He steps back enough to pull off Eddie’s shirt and groans because his nipples are pierced, and fuck if that isn’t doing something for Steve. Thumbing over one makes Eddie shiver and gasp, and he knows that he needs to get his mouth on them as soon as possible. He feels like a predator as he pushes Eddie back, not stopping until the man is sprawled across his bed, a beautiful feast meant just for him.

Steve crawls on top of Eddie and presses his lips to the spider decorating his shoulder before moving down to lick over his nipple. Eddie shudders and pushes his hands into Steve's hair, holding him in place as Steve seals his mouth around the pink bud. The piercing is warm, and the stark contrast between metal and flesh has Steve groaning into Eddie's skin.

He sucks on it, earning a stuttering moan from the man under him and hands tightening in his hair. “Fu-uck, Stevie.” Steve thumbs over the other nipple and pinches it just to hear him gasp again, before continuing his journey southwards, pressing kisses into the tattoos he comes across along the way. He pauses for a moment to suck a bruise into Eddie’s hip, just above his waistband, and the man is practically squirming.

“God, when I agreed to come over, I didn’t think you were gonna be this much of a tease.”

Steve rolls his eyes and bites into the bruise he just created, pulling a low groan from Eddie. “It’s called foreplay, you ass.”

“I’d rather you foreplay my ass,” Eddie mutters, and Steve laughs into smooth skin. He does concede, though, and pulls back so he can slide off Eddie’s jeans and underwear, discarding them to the floor. Eddie’s dick is pretty, a smidge thinner than his own but just as long, and weeping heavily from the pink tip. Steve wants to touch it, taste it, wants to feel the weight of it on his tongue as Eddie fucks his mouth.

“Feel free to touch it, not just look at it,” Eddie says, and Steve smirks.

“Normally I would, but someone wanted me to skip the foreplay.”

Eddie groans dramatically in response and Steve ignores him as he reaches over into the nightstand to grab the lube and a condom. He drops the items next to Eddie, and the man gives an “Oh shit!” as he grabs the tube. “You actually have lube?”

“Uh, I'm a grown man, Eddie. Not some 15-year-old that still uses lotion to jack off.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and smacks the bottle against Steve's chest. “Twenty-four hours ago you told me you were straight, excuse me for making some assumptions.”

“Stereotypical assumptions,” Steve tacks on and Eddie rolls his eyes again harder. “Also you might be surprised to learn this, but some women also enjoy anal, so I'm not actually a complete newbie when it comes to this.”

“And here I was thinking I'd have to hold your hand through the whole thing.”

Steve huffs a laugh and slicks up his fingers. “Oh, do you not want to hold hands while I fuck you into the mattress?”

Eddie gasps and brings a hand to his forehead, like a mockery of some swooning maiden as he says “Why Stevie, I think that's the most romantic thing you've said so- ohhh my god.” He groans as Steve pushes the finger deeper, and kicks his shoulder gently when Steve just grins.

“Shut the fuck up,” Eddie spits, but Steve can tell there's no real heat behind it. He just hums, says “I dunno what you're talking about,” as he slides a second in alongside the first. He hooks his free hand under Eddie’s knee and pushes it closer to his chest, exposing him a bit more.

Steve leans down to press a kiss to Eddie’s neglected dick and curls his fingers at the same time, trying to hit Eddie’s prostate. He knows he’s successful when hands jerk down, sinking into his hair once more as Eddie keens.

“Shit, Stevie-!”

“Wanna suck you off next time. Wanna pin your hips to the bed and see how much I can take, wanna tease you until you come on my face, in my mouth.”

Eddie shudders and nods, bucks his hips as best he can with Steve’s fingers in him. “Oh fuck, yes. Gonna let me paint your face, baby? Gonna let me be the first cock to fuck that pretty mouth?”

Steve groans a “Fuck yeah, Eds,” and pushes in a third finger, eager to finish his prep but not wanting to rush. He spreads his fingers wide as he leans in again, sinking his teeth into the junction where thigh meets groin, and Eddie's entire body jerks at the bit of pain.

He tugs at Steve's hair, trying to pull him up as he says “Fuck! That's gotta be good enough, need you in me fucking last week, sweetheart.”

Steve shudders and nods with a “Yeah, baby,” as he pulls his fingers free. He stands up and strips off his remaining clothes, not worrying about where they land before he climbs back between Eddie's legs. He can feel Eddie watching as he rolls on the condom, and he's about to make a remark about it when the man says “You know what kind of sucks?”

Steve just hums in response as he scoots closer, until his thighs are pressed against Eddie's ass and all he has to do is push forward just a little more-

“That we’ll have to get tested before we can put my ability to not get pregnant to good use.”

A groan rips through Steve and he drops his head back at the mental image that creates. “Fuck, you can’t just say that.”

Eddie grins, all Cheshire and taunting as he says “Oh, I can’t? I can’t tell you how excited I am for you to come in me, to fill up my ass until I’m fucking leaking- mmh!”

Steve dives down to shut him up with a kiss before he can say anything else, and he can feel Eddie laughing into it. Arms wrap around Steve’s shoulders, holding him close as they take a moment to just make out, all slick and languid like they're not both on the verge of desperation. Steve wraps a hand around his dick and blindly rubs the head against Eddie’s hole before he finally pushes forward.

Even after prep, Eddie is tight, and Steve groans as he slowly sinks in, not stopping until his hips are flush with Eddie’s ass. He rubs his hands over Eddie’s sides as he just waits there, giving the man a chance to adjust. It only takes a moment before Eddie gives a soft “Okay, I'm good,” and Steve holds good on his word. He leans forward, lacing his fingers with Eddie's and pressing them into the bed as he starts a slow pace.

Eddie goes all starry-eyed as he glances at their joined hands, and mutters “Didn't think you were serious about that.”

“I don't joke about hand holding, Eds. It's very important.” That pulls a soft laugh from Eddie and Steve leans closer until he can kiss that smile, can taste the laugh at its source.

It's hands down the best sex Steve has ever had. Eddie is so responsive, all noisy and twitchy and eager. He quickly figures out what Steve likes and doesn't even attempt to keep his mouth shut, just offers a stream of encouragement that’s only broken when Steve finds and abuses that sweet spot inside him.

“Right there, Eddie? Is that it, baby?”

“Uh-huh, fuck, so good!”

Eddie's a fucking vision, with his brown curls slowly escaping the confines of the bun and his eyes glazed over in pleasure. Steve releases Eddie's hands and slides his own down to clutch at the man's slim waist, his fingers digging into the tattoos decorating his skin. He fantasizes about leaving bruises, about leaving his own mark alongside the black ink and fucks into him harder at just the idea.

“Shit, Stevie! Gonna come, gonna-”

Eddie gets a hand around his dick and barely gets in a few strokes before he’s coming, a loud “Fuckfuckfuck!” escaping him as he spills over his hand and onto his stomach. It’s so fucking hot, and Steve’s hands tighten around Eddie's waist at the sight. His thrusts are a bit wild as he chases his own orgasm, and all it takes is Eddie's reedy “In me, Steve, give it to me-” before it hits him like a fucking truck.

He doesn't remember the last time he came this hard, his hips grinding against Eddie's ass as he fills the condom before eventually collapsing down onto the other man. They just lay there for a moment, waiting for their highs to settle and their breathing to return to normal, and Steve smiles when Eddie starts to giggle.

“What's that about?” he asks, using the opportunity to press a few kisses along the line of Eddie's shoulder and neck. The man just grins and shakes his head.

“I haven't bottomed in like- three years. Forgot how good it feels.”

That surprises Steve a bit, actually. “Three years? And you just break that streak for some random person you met on the internet?”

“Mhm. You sent me those messages and I was like ‘Wow, I can't believe I'm gonna let this guy fuck me’.”

Steve laughs and nips at Eddie's shoulder. After a few minutes he carefully pulls out and reluctantly leaves Eddie on the bed as he goes to the bathroom to trash the condom and grab a wet hand towel. He cleans Eddie up before tossing the cloth to the floor and laying down beside him. He's instantly wrapped up in Eddie's arms and he sighs happily as they huddle close together.

“Stay the night? I'll make you breakfast in the morning,” Steve offers, and Eddie hums into his temple.

“With coffee?”

“With coffee.”

Another hum before Eddie nuzzles into his hair, and Steve can feel Eddie press a kiss to the crown of his head. “Then I'd love to stay the night, Stevie.”

Steve wakes up slowly the next morning. The sun shining through the window bathes the room in golden light, making Eddie look ethereal where he lays curled into Steve’s side. He takes a moment to just watch the man, to admire the relaxed lines of Eddie’s face as he slumbers on, unaware.

He doesn’t know the last time he felt a connection with someone this- profound.

Actually, no - the last time this happened was probably with Robin, the girl who became something closer to him than a sister, the one person who probably knows him better than he knows himself. Being with Eddie feels so similar to those early days with Robin - after they’d gotten locked in the bathroom during a mall fire, not the actual early days when Robin seemingly hated him.

So Steve knows deep in his soul that there’s something about Eddie. Something so special ingrained into his very existence, and Steve’s sure that, if he just gives it a chance, Eddie could change his life.

After a few more minutes of basking in the morning silence, he tries to slip out of bed without waking Eddie, but he knows he’s failed when the arms just tighten around him. Eddie groans out a “Noooo,” and Steve grins. He presses a kiss to Eddie’s hair and says “Gotta let me go if you want me to make your coffee.”

A muffled “Man of my dreams,” as Eddie releases him has Steve chuckling as he climbs out of bed. He throws on a pair of sweatpants and heads downstairs, and puts on some coffee before he does anything else. By the time Eddie joins him, dressed only in his boxers from the night before, the coffee is ready and Steve is stacking pancakes onto a couple of plates.

Eddie seems more awake as he wraps his arms around Steve, pressing a quick kiss to his shoulder along with a soft “Morning, sweetheart.”

“Morning, baby. Coffee’s on the counter, sugar’s in the jar and milk is in the fridge if you want it.”

Another kiss meets his skin, this one just below his ear, before Eddie is pulling away. Steve finishes plating the pancakes while Eddie makes his coffee, and they converge at the kitchen island. They eat mostly in silence, but it's not uncomfortable. It's easy, actually, to let the quiet settle around them like a warm blanket. But that doesn't mean Steve's thoughts aren't racing.

“So, uh.” Steve pauses, feels almost bashful as he looks up at Eddie. “It's been a really, really long time since I've felt a connection like this, and I may be a little dumb, but I'm not an idiot.” Eddie frowns at Steve's little self deprecating dig, but doesn't say anything as he continues. “I really want to see where this goes, if you're up for it.”

A slow grin breaks out on Eddie's face and he leans in, getting into Steve's personal space. “Why Stevie. Are you asking me to be your boyfriend? After only one date?”

Steve huffs a laugh and slides a hand up to the base of Eddie's neck, feeling and tangling his fingers with the soft hair there. “I’d ask you right now to move in if it wouldn't make me look fucking insane.”

Eddie's expression instantly goes slack with shock, and fuck, Steve's done it again, hasn't he? Said too much, too soon, and lost something good before it even had a chance to go anywhere. He starts to pull away, wanting to give Eddie some space, but he's stopped by two hands settling on his waist, practically clutching the bare skin.

“My lease is up for renewal in three months,” Eddie says, and Steve blinks in surprise. “So maybe at that point we can see where we are? Because you're right. I don't think I've ever just clicked with someone like this before. It feels like- like fucking destiny or something. And I also really, really want to see where this goes.”

Steve gives in to the urge to pull Eddie forward into a kiss. It’s intense and passionate and a bit sticky, the maple syrup making their lips tacky and causing Eddie to giggle into Steve's mouth.

They’re interrupted by the sound of Steve’s phone ringing with a video call, and he knows who it is before he even looks at the device. He answers with a “Morning, Robin,” and is met with a manic “You’ll never guess what happened this morning!”

“I would hope something with Chrissy, but I’m guessing it’s something with Vickie-”

“Vickie called! Jack fucking proposed to her last night!”

Oh shit. “And she said..?”

“They’re on good terms right now, so of course she said yes!”

Steve takes a sip of coffee and hums. “Sounds like it’s time for you to put on some big girl panties and ask Chrissy out on a real date.”

“Steven, you know I hate that word.”

“I will record it and set it as your ringtone if you don’t make some kind of move, Robin. Before Chrissy gets tired of waiting for you to make a decision and makes one herself.”

She groans pathetically and Steve watches her scrub a hand over her face. “I hate it when you make sense. Can we stop talking about me, please? Distract me with something else.”

“Oh, well, uh,” Steve glances up at Eddie who has been watching the interaction with an amused smile. His heart swells with affection and he blurts out “I have a boyfriend.”

Eddie beams at him as Robin blinks, most likely processing before she says “You just told me yesterday that your dating life was practically nonexistent, and now you have a boyfriend? How did that happen?? And moreover, how long have you liked men??”

She sounds incredulous - rightfully so, honestly - and Steve shrugs. “At least twenty-four hours, but it could realistically be closer to something like thirty-six. I downloaded a dating app the night before last and met Eddie on it. We went on a date last night, he stayed over, and I asked him to be my boyfriend this morning.”

“You asked me to move in this morning,” Eddie says, and Robin must catch it because she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

“You’re gonna put every U-haul lesbian in this city to shame,” she mutters before looking at Steve again. “Are you not like- freaking out? I mean, in the near decade I’ve known you, you’ve only dated girls, and now you’re dating a guy? Just like that?”

Steve shrugs and reaches out to take one of Eddie’s hands. “I guess so. You know I’ve always been a roll with the punches kinda guy. And Eddie is- Special. He’s special.”

Eddie is looking at him with those big, brown eyes, wide and a bit awestruck, and Steve can’t resist reeling him close for a quick kiss.

“I am so happy for you,” Robin says, pulling Steve’s attention back to his phone, “but also incredibly upset because now I know I have to follow your advice about Chrissy. Which is just absolutely terrifying.”

“You should have been listening from the beginning. Seriously though, go get your girl, Rob. You deserve to be happy.”

They say their goodbyes after another moment and Steve focuses back on Eddie. “Did you have anything to do today?” he asks as he collects their empty plates and takes them to the sink. Eddie follows, draining the last of his coffee before he replies “Not today. Why, did you have something to do?”

Steve grins and takes Eddie’s mug, setting it on the counter before he scoops the man into his arms. “Other than you?”

Eddie barks a laugh at the line and shakes his head fondly. “Jesus Christ, how did I get my hands on such a dork?”

“Just lucky, I guess,” Steve replies, and tugs Eddie into another sticky kiss.

Much love to @bramble-berries for brainstorming this with me! (Even if she didn't know it at the time lol.) Also thank you to @sidekick-hero for cheerleading me through the last bit of writing on this! You're an absolute dear! <3

#steddie #mentioned rockie and buckingham #steddie fanfic #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #steddie fanfiction #people who subscribe on ao3 got this fic 6 hours early #just saying #joey writes

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sunsguilt · 7 months

Text

SMASH OR PASS WITHOUT THE SMASH !┊ft: all nrc characters!

warnings: none! contains: gn reader

notes: this is essentially a dateability ranking in terms of pure survival and living your best life. i love all the characters dearly, and this is just for fun!

HEARTSLABYUL

riddle rosehearts: don’t get me started on him. hypothetically, let’s say he has a single romantical bone in his body. he would probably (definitely) want to date someone his mother would approve of, so someone who’s super studious and thinking about becoming a lawyer type of thing. even then, his mother would be the overbearing MIL stereotype, and riddle would just bend to her every whim, so it wouldn’t work. would probably divorce you if his mom said to.

overall rating: 2/10, could be a nice cushy life if he took his penchant for memorizing rules into a lawyer profession and became a rich husband, but still the MIL…. you would end up on r/relationshipadvice within weeks, i’m afraid.

ace trappola: he’s like a frat boy to me, honestly. I think you could be friends with him within reason, but if you actually date him… he’s the kind of guy who would pursue you and then get bored once u start dating. whoops, he had a consensual workplace relationship. he canonically ghosted his ex, guys.

overall rating: 3/10, you would be dating a frat boy. you don’t want that for yourself, trust me, speaking from second-hand experience here.

deuce spade: deuce is actually normal. like he’s no rich boy, but his family is respectful and his mother would adore you if he brought you home. he’s a little slow, but he’s got the spirit, y’know?

overall rating: 6/10, very nice in-laws, very cool husband. you may end up being the primary breadwinner.

cater diamond: with cater, it’s probably a bromance that turns into a real romance. mostly because he didn’t want to confess and ruin the whole thing you had going on together. likely a guy who needs a lot of validation from his partner. like he’ll say he hates pickles if you don’t like pickles. will not let a pickle pass his lips. will try his very hardest to convince you to do silly couple challenges.

overall rating: 8/10, he’s sooooo cute but he’s got unresolved mental instability like you wouldn’t believe. personally, i love that in a man. call me fix-it felix.

trey clover: trey is. trey. average guy whose family runs a bakery. he’s cute though!

overall rating: 5/10, he’s probably a freak in terms of intimate relations! teehee! no further comment.

SAVANACLAW

leona kingscholar: leona is a nice guy, respectful etc. but after a while, he’s not putting the same energy into the relationship as you are. the added layer of dating a literal prince…. no matter how disregarded he is by his family, he is second in line for the throne. the pressure from that sounds crazy, i won’t lie. you might be able to ignore the pressure of him bringing you home to straight up royalty ! overall rating: 5/10, he’s so dreamy and gorjus but he wears uncle sandals. jack howl: oh he’s so bf material, like you don’t understand. him being really firm on the fact that beastmen choose a life partner? wanting to fall in love and be committed to someone until his dying day? this is Romance. he's probs a good guy to bring to the gym for support if you’re just starting to work out regularly! might accidentally push you past your limits bc he’s thinking beastmen standards and not human. overall rating: 7/10, he’s so cute and i love him, but he’s a gym bro and does daily early morning jogs and such. cannot accept it. ruggie bucchi: he’s actually another really normal guy to date! he’s shown to do anything to provide for his loved ones (bringing food home from school to provide for his friends and family). very much an acts of service guy!

overall rating: 4/10, the chances are high that he’ll do that thing that broke dudes do when they get all touchy and hug their partner when the partner pulls out their card to pay for something.

OCTAVINELLE

azul ashengrotto: he would be nice to you ONLY if he had something to gain. would actually play the long game in order to sweet-talk you into signing some contract that totally screws you over forever. he is a capitalist at heart, i fear. he’s gonna get you in some get-rich-quick scheme. also, he can’t kiss and it would be weird and a lot more drool than necessary. overall rating: 6/10, i love octopus.

jade leech: oh god. he’s like visually appealing but the longer he's talking, the worse it gets. his hobby would literally be getting your heart rate up. you’d be lucky if you don’t get high blood pressure from his desire to see your face twist in an ugly expression. he has a penchant for learning, so he’ll want to research the topic of his interest to the fullest to get the desired results. overall rating: 3/10, the moment he’s tired of you, he’ll never speak to you again outside of a professional setting. floyd leech: he wants to have fun every day he can. which is fine, nothing wrong with that. the problem lies when he wants to rope you into it. and his idea of fun is….. questionable. he would call you up in the middle of the night and ask if you wanna go for a joyride that takes you over state lines. and you would only get like three minutes notice. he would also invite himself into your dorm and sleep in your bed. no, he’s not making the bed either, the guy canonically has to be forced into ironing his own shirt. overall rating: 3/10, he looks like he bites unironically. would you get rabies if a humanized eel bit you?

SCARABIA

kalim al-asim: oh he’s so sweet, but the only problem is literally the fact that he’s rich. he frequently talks about multiple attempts on his life in his youth up until the present day. if people outside of your circle found out you were with him, word would surely spread to unwanted ears, and your life would be at risk because of that immediate association. overall rating: 6/10, a total sweetheart, but i don’t think i’d be able to eat breakfast with him without wondering if something’s in our food. jamil viper: he has too many underlying issues that include but are not limited to: an inferiority complex that exists due to his forced proximity to kalim. as much as i’d love to say i could fix him, jamil almost killed kalim. Plus, jamil is literally kalim’s servant. association with kalim = will probably die. overall rating: 5/10, he’s got issues, but he’s so cute and probably just needs that reassurance or whatever. my silly guy!

POMEFIORE

vil schoenheit: vil is like my fav so i’d love to say that because he’s so nice and rich and pretty that he would be a perfect ten. WRONG. he’s famous. bad! what if he has crazy stans who go after you bc you’re dating him? for your own safety, you would never be able to go public with your relationship, that is if the tabloids don't get to you. overall rating: 7/10, you’ll have to listen to him go on tangents about neige.

rook hunt: if you’re thinking “yeah no he’s probably a safe bet, he’s rich and i could be his trophy wife/husband”, you like french people and you’re lying to yourself !!!!! ive never met a normal rich person in my life, and rook is no exception. he would know your shoe size before you even know his last name.

overall rating: 0/10, he’s weird AND french.

epel felmier: he lives in a small town where everyone tends to know each other and their business. there’s no hiding your relationship from them. downside is, he would have a crazy inferior complex if you were taller than him. He needs to be a Man’s man, yknow??? overall rating: 6/10, he’s a good cook, an incredible one, even. if you can’t cook and you can deal with a man who desperately wants to show you how cool he is, then this is the one for you.

IGNIHYDE

idia shroud: he wouldn’t date, like he’s a NEET guys, i don’t see it at all. He would marry someone if it was for tax reasons, or just to tell people he isn’t bitchless. you'd just go to a courthouse real quick and pop by an ihop after.

overall rating: 6/10, he would be an incredible overwatch carry. would bully you for sucking super hard in any type of pvp game.

ortho shroud: he’s like a child, so he is not included!

overall rating: 0/10, in terms of dateability, he’s silly tho

DIASOMNIA

malleus draconia: you would be perfectly safe with him. yeah, he’s not fully clear on the norms of human society, but he treats you well! problem is, he'd be a little too obssessed and its going to very quickly turn into "he's going to keep u in this tower bc hes scared abt u dying"

overall rating: 7/10, wouldn’t you love a loser man who is obsessed with gargoyles?! silver: objectively, the world’s most perfect man. he’s super cute and can cook! everything you would want in a man. he's also got his wacky little sitcom type family like step brothers who are Not human and a dad who is Not human but like they care for him he cares for them!

overall rating: 9/10, no real drama and they'd probably be elated if he brought someone home. sebek zigvolt: he would choose malleus over you every time, i’m so sorry. like “sorry babe malleus needs help shining his sword or whatever, you can start the movie without me.” realistically the only time sebek could be in a relationship is if he finds someone whos as obsessed with malleus as he is so they can be hyperfixated on him together or something. like how kpop stans marry each other, but with malleus the dragon prince.

overall rating: 2/10, he would use you has a human dishrag to clean shoes for malleus. lilia vanrouge: everyone loves a fictional old man, but this particular old man comes with trauma and emotional baggage spanning centuries. You can only fix-it felix your way out of so many things. he’s cute, though.

overall rating: 4/10, canonically picks his nose, i fear.

— ☆

2K notes · View notes

thebestofoneshots · 18 days

Text

No Sweeter Innocence than Our Gentle Sin Pt.1 | Remus Lupin x Reader

Pairing: Priest!Remus x reader

Word Count: 8.6 k

Prompt: You did not want to go to church that day, but your spirits are uplifted when you meet Father Remus, and your mind starts creating a mischievous scheme, to both retaliate over those years of being forced to go and take something from them.

Alternatively, R is really mad at the church and decides to steal one of their priests for it (but also kind of falls for him).

Warnings: SMUT, Non-apt for Christians(?). Reader is a little cynical (or maybe cynical Af). Suggestive talks, touching oneself, fingering. Reader seduces a Priest (so whatever you might expect from that), hierophiIia, corruption!kink, praise!kink (if you squint). Consent is sexy!

Proofread by lovely @aremuslupinsimp

♡ NSFW: Smut under the cut

ACT I: Remember to keep holy the LORD’s Day

You really didn’t want to go to church. You had one hell of a week and you were incredibly tired so when you got the phone call with your grandma inviting you to go, you were about ready to say no.

But your grandma has always been extremely catholic, and while you weren’t anymore, you hadn’t seen her in a while, and you missed her. Her being in town for your short vacation was a good enough reason to visit her more often (she was staying with your parents) and if you’d have to live through a whole hour of some boring priest talking about all the things that are wrong with society nowadays, then you would. Even if you didn’t want to.

That didn’t stop you from being cranky over the fact that you’d have to wake up extra early to take the 40-minute ride to the church she claimed “was the best one in the city,” according to her priest back at home (of course she couldn’t just ask you to the nearest fucking church).

Breathe, you told yourself. This is for your grandma, you repeated as you sat on the narrow seat of public transport, next to the gym bro that smelled like he could use a shower and whose massive arms would bump into you whenever the bus went through a pothole.

When you finally reached your spot, you had to wake him up so he would move his massive legs to the side and you could fucking pass through, walking down the bus in the sea of people that for some reason had taken the same one. Once outside you took a deep breath and tried to relax again. You didn’t want to look as pissed as you felt when you finally saw your grandma. At least it was a fucking cloudy day and you wouldn’t have to deal with the sun as you walked the 4 blocks left you had until you arrived at the church.

Who the fuck would invent a church so goddamn far from everything important? You wondered as you approached.

Oh, you thought once you saw it. Someone who wanted a lot of space then.

The church was massive. And while you might have been prone to exaggerate when you were pissed, you were far from exaggerating now. It was almost a small castle, maybe the largest church in the city, certainly the largest one you had seen in your life (not that you had seen a great many but certainly a few).

On the outside, there were very many intricate details carved, a few gargoyles at the top in a very Notre Dame-esque sort of way. Except while Notre Dame ended in a very square and neat way, the towers of this one extended far above the roof and ended in a pointy, almost menacing sort of way. You had been so absorbed by the intricate details of the tower, that you didn’t realise you were walking straight into someone.

“Uhh sorry,” you said as you stumbled back, pulling your gaze from the structure and towards the person right in front of you. You were absorbed by him the second your eyes met his: golden brown, almost shining with the way the sun was hitting them. You weren’t sure you had ever seen a more perfect person in your life, they were exactly your–

“I see you’ve met Father Remus!” Your grandma said as she grabbed onto your arm and pulled you back from him a couple more steps.

Father? He’s married? You wondered until you noticed his clothes, all-black suit, white necktie, she meant Father as in Priest?!?

The man –Remus– smiled, gentle, sweet and caring. “Nice to meet you…” there was silence. It took you a second to realise the man was expecting your name, and you gave it to him, fast and still slightly disoriented.

“Come on, angel,” your nan said as she pulled you towards the entrance. “We can talk after the mass.”

“Nice to meet you, Remus,” you said, turning up your most charming smile as you waved goodbye to the man. His eyes seemed to trail on your hand, but your grandma pulled you again, and you were forced to turn around.

“It’s Father Remus,” your grandma corrected.

“Right, sorry,” you said, almost carelessly, not carelessly enough for her to notice, though.

“I’m glad you came, I don’t think any of your cousins made it.”

“Oh, it was nothing, Nan,” you said as you turned around to see if Remus was still around. He was not anymore, you turned back to her. “It’s lovely to be here with you.”

That wasn’t entirely a lie, you liked spending time with her, she was lovely. But you did not like going to the church, you had long parted with the catholic ideals and you weren’t interested in most of the archaic teachings of the church. Especially the homophobic ones, you thought the closed-mindedness of the church was a terrible thing, and that it stopped many people from being who they truly were, not to mention how it affected a lot of people you knew. It was because of that close-mindedness that some of your friends had to hide themselves from their parents. Because god forbid their children were gay.

Now, not everything about the church was bad, some values were good and important, but at this point in the progressive world, perhaps the bad outweighed the good. And in the end, religions were just a way of controlling the masses, no surprise the church service was called “mass”.

You could have made a list of everything that was wrong, in a very Lutheran manner, sent it to your grandma and never attended again, but she was old and you knew there was no way she’d understand, especially when she’d been conditioned to think a certain way for far more years than you’d been alive. So instead, you decided to sit through the service with her, and make her happy, rather than be the rebel you sometimes wanted to be.

Ah the service, it was boring until Remus came out. If you thought he’d look handsome in the cassock, you could have been awestruck when you saw him wearing that white alb. Yes, those Sunday school days had taught you enough. He wore a cincture around the waist that matched the alb, and you’d swear you deserve hell when you pictured yourself pulling the entire thing off him in a secret corner of the massive church. In the middle of mass, while the head priest kept talking about things related to Jesus and how he saved someone or whatever, you were thinking of calm and collected Father Remus, losing control and giving in to the lust of the flesh, and all of it for you.

A small smirk played on your face as you thought of all the things you’d like to do to Remus, of all the sounds you’d have him make. Was it sinful? Perhaps. Did it warrant hell? Most likely. Luckily, you didn’t believe in hell any more than you believed in heaven.

And then it came to you. The idea that would certainly warrant a hell of a lot more than your lewd imaginings. If stealing was a sin, then how sinful would it be to steal something from god? To pilfer one of his men for yourself?

What an ungodly thing to do, so devilish that perhaps you wouldn’t be in hell to be punished but rather to punish. Was it perhaps a revenge for being forced into church for so many years, for having to sit through hours of Sunday School and the indoctrination you had to put up with but somehow managed to see past? Yeah. But at this point, you weren’t sure you cared. Something about Remus had sucked you in like a moth to a flame and you wanted to cling to whatever that was. Otherwise, you might have not be able to go through with your plan.

It wouldn’t happen all in one day, it couldn’t happen all in one day. It had to be slow, steady, and repetitive, like the snake tempting Eve, like Eve tempting Adam. You hadn’t seen yourself as a sexy woman throughout your life, at least not the kind of Sexy Femme Fatale that men seemed to live and diе for in movies. No, you had never been like that, and you wouldn’t start today. But you would perform the most outrageous and strong act of seduction you had ever thought of and it had to be done perfectly, or you wouldn’t get what you wanted.

What was it that you wanted again? Right, you wanted Remus Lupin.

ACT II: Thou shall not steal

“When was the last time you confessed?” Your Nan whispered as she leaned onto you, people were already standing for communion.

You hesitated. “I’m not sure, Nan.”

She hummed in return, clearly disapproving of your distancing from the church. You were sure she would have called you heathen if you said the truth, it had been years.

“I could go up and confess now,” you said as you looked at the confessionary in the back, you had seen Remus enter it, but you suspected it was too soon to start with the plan.

“No darling, repent for your sins and you can confess later. Perhaps after mass.”

“Or during the week,” you said with a knowing smile.

“Isn’t it a long way from your apartment?”

“I’m sure it’ll be worth it anyway.”

She stood up and took the communion, leaving you sitting on the chair and looking at the way people would walk toward the altar. Judging them, if that made sense. There was a woman who accommodated her breasts back in her seat before standing up, she threw a look at one of the other priests as she took the host. You gave her an approving sort of glance before you turned to someone else. Now you didn’t exactly consider her way of seducing appealing, but then again, yours wouldn’t be much better either. So to each their own. The man behind her had been touching himself in the very back of the church and had stared at her ass throughout the entire line, probably for more material.

Sinners, the church claiming to be so saint, and it was full of them.

You weren’t much better than them either, the difference is that you didn’t harbour the same hate towards yourself for it. No, you knew what nature was and you knew that despite how much we humans pretended to be better, we still were all animals. And there are a few things that animals want and need. Love, or the act of love, was one of them. That’s what you’d be using to your favour.

When your Nan came back, you helped her kneel and do her praying; all the while you attentively looked around. Remus had left the concessionary already and he was at the front with the rest of the priests. He spotted you looking at him and you smiled kindly, innocently at him. The kind of smile someone with the thoughts surging in your head wouldn’t be able to give, and yet, you accomplished it seamlessly.

He gave you a courteous nod and you reciprocated it. The rest of the mass was as boring as you’d expect it to be; except for the fact that Remus was looking at you rather often, either he was curious about their new parishioner, or he was interested. Either way, you were sure you’d be able to use that in your favour.

When the mass was over, you had to wait for all of them to exit the church first and then you helped your Nan stand and walked with her towards the entrance. Remus was there, giving short blessings and handing out some pamphlets about donations and other similar stuff. Your grandma was the one to pull you towards him. “What a wonderful mass,” she said. “Father Ernest was onto something when he told me to come here while I was in the city.”

“Thank you,” Remus said bashfully, you could almost see him blush at the praise. What would a real blush look on him? You were dying to know.

“Wonderful indeed, although I would have liked to hear your interpretation of the verses, Remus,” You said.

“Father Remus,” your grandma corrected.

“Oh, it’s fine. If it feels more personal you may call me just Remus, dear one.”

You tried to hold back the snide smile you would have thrown your Nan had it been any other woman. You could call him Remus. You were a dear one.

“Right, perhaps another day,” you added with a smile and pulled your grandma to the side so the next person could take the blessing.

“I preach on Wednesdays,” Remus said, tone borderline desperate, as he raised his head over the people and women piling around him. Clearly, you weren’t the only one to harbour a little crush on Father Remus. It didn’t matter though, because you’d be the one to have him.

Next Wednesday you didn’t make any plans, and you put on something simple but elegant. A squared-neck shirt and a pair of jeans. When you arrived at the church, you didn’t waste as much time admiring it, instead, you decided to walk straight inside. His mass had started already, and you sneaked in through the side until you reached the third row of seats. There weren’t as many people as you’d expect on a Wednesday, but Remus was preaching like there were hundreds. He was wonderful.

He had a way with words that made you want to listen, perhaps if you weren’t so cynical, it would even convert you. But rather than thinking of his prayer, you were thinking of how incredible he would be as a teacher, you imagined the students, squirming for him and his words in their seats. You imagined the older, more daring girls going after him. You were lucky that wasn’t the situation, the kind of woman that could seduce any man had the benefit of practice that you didn’t. You wouldn’t have stood a chance against them.

But the kind of woman that went to the church, the kind that flocked to him at the end of mass, they weren’t a threat. They were too pious to try anything even remotely similar to what you had in mind. In fact, you even dared to think you were lucky that he had been a priest and not a teacher because then he would have perhaps been married, and while you were willing to take a man from god, you would never take one from another woman. You had limits.

After the mass was over, you waited a few minutes before leaving the church ��accidentally” bumping into him again. “Remus,” you said with a smile. “We seem to continue bumping into each other,” you added as you leaned closer to him and pressed your cheek to his, making a low smacking sound, and then repeating on the other side. He looked bewildered at the contact. “Oh, I’m sorry, did I make you uncomfortable? I got this habit while I was in France and I still haven’t shaken it off completely.”

“Oh… No, no,” hesitant, bashful, you loved every bit of it. “Not at all, it’s fine. You can greet me however you like.”

“Is that privilege reserved to me, or does every other parishioner have it?” He seemed taken aback by your words. “I’m joking, Remus,” you added and placed your hand on his arm, before pulling it back tentatively. “Your mass was wonderful.”

“Thank you, I’m lucky to work at Saint Gryffin.”

“The way I see it, Saint Gryffin is lucky to have you. I mean lots of women come here to see the beautiful priest Remus.”

“You think?” he asked. Remus didn’t exactly consider himself handsome, he thought his scars would scare people away rather than attract them. But he sometimes failed to see past them and didn’t pay attention to his beautiful eyes, to his charming smile, to his long lashes, or to his well-toned frame. It was as if he had been carved by Michael Angelo himself, from your perspective.

“For sure,” you replied. “Take a closer look at the way they look at you on Sunday and you’ll see.” He blushed, a deeper shade of red than your Nan had pulled out of him, you resisted the urge to bite your lip and smiled instead. “Today was lovely, I’ll see you around,” you said before waving goodbye and exiting the church.

You went again a week later, Remus would sometimes lose his focus on the bible and look at you instead. That day you had chosen a skirt. Nothing too short or indecent, but certainly short enough to allow your legs to be seen and admired. An older man hadn’t stopped staring at you throughout the mass, and you would have perhaps told him off if it hadn’t been for the fact that Remus had been in a similar position.

Remus’ distraction, his hesitance and his constant turning to you were enough to drive your attention away from the man and onto him. You would smile, and you would nod, and you would pretend to be a supportive little lamb. Innocent, and meek and kind. Just what he expected from you. And it was that Wednesday, the third time that you’d met him, that you realised you had him right where you wanted him to be.

He for sure had a thing for you, be it curiosity, admiration, or a small crush. You had gotten his attention, and you had gotten into his mind. Now all you needed was to have him.

ACT III: Thou shall not Covet someone else’s property

The next Wednesday you had been late, you had allowed your hair to be slightly dishevelled and your cheeks were warm, despite the autumn getting colder. You had bitten your lips and you looked like you had just gotten away from a dire situation. You’d done it on purpose. When his gaze fell on you he almost stopped talking completely. He staggered to complete his words and you nodded for him to go on. When he was done, he rushed out, and you stayed in your seat. Eyes closed and hands clasping each other, pretending to pray.

That’s when you felt a gentle hand on your shoulder, he whispered your name. “Are you okay, Little Lamb?”

It took a real effort not to laugh at his nickname. Not because you thought it was stupid, but because you were so far from a lamb that you might as well have been the wolf that ate it. You turned to him, fake distress clouding your features, “I’ve done something terrible, Remus.”

He was kind, almost impossibly so, it almost made you want to stop your plan and leave him the pure man he was.

Almost.

“I’m sure there’s nothing you could do, that was as bad as you’ve described.”

“I’d like to confess,” you said. “Would you take my confession?”

Remus seemed hesitant, biting his lip. He knew he shouldn’t. He shouldn’t hear your confession, not when he wanted to maintain a personal relationship with you, not when he’d develop a crush. But it was in your preoccupied gaze, in the small frown that etched your features, in the way your lips curved down and in the bobbing of your throat as you swallowed. How ever could he deny you?

Oh, those thoughts would be the ones that would drag him into sin, nay, not drag, but rather, waft him into it. If Remus hadn’t been so enamoured by you, perhaps corrupting him would have proved a harder task to accomplish for you.

“Okay,” he said simply. And helped you stand. Guiding you towards the empty confessionary and sitting in his spot as you opened the door to the other one. It was a narrow place, enough for you to sit. There was a screen dividing the two of you, you couldn’t see him, but you suspected he could see you. And there was a small, square hole in between, enough to fit perhaps a hand. You assumed it was there in case you’d like to give something to the priest, as a thank you.

Remus cleared his throat, and in the most professional way he could muster he said, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. My child, what brings you to the sacrament of confession today?”

His voice had been different, stronger as if he was trying not to be himself. You loved it. “Father, I come seeking forgiveness for my sins. I have strayed from the path of righteousness and I seek reconciliation,” you let your voice bend and crack near the end.

“I am here to listen, my child. Let us begin with a moment of reflection. Take a moment to examine your conscience and bring to mind the sins you wish to confess.”

You held back the smirk that threatened to appear when he said that, just in case he was actually able to see you. “I have fallen in love with a man I cannot have.”

“Oh, darling,” he said, that was Remus, not Father Remus. You had cracked through his façade and you hadn’t even started. “That is not a sin. It’s happened to the best of us.”

“But it is a sin the way I think of him, Father,” you responded. You heard a sharp intake of breath, but he didn’t speak further. “I have dreamt of him, of his lips, of his eyes with long lashes, the way his hair frames his face, of his beautiful and strong hands–” Remus tried not to be jealous of the man you described, but everything about him seemed perfect, and unlike himself, he probably could have you. Your beautiful lips, and eyes, focused solely on him. He hated the guy already. “–sliding between my legs, and touching me.”

“Do not speak further,” there was an edge of alarm in his voice. A bit of a broken end to it.

“Oh but Father I must,” you said. “If I don’t I’m afraid I’ll act upon my feelings in the same way I did today while thinking of him.”

“You…” he hesitated. “You touched yourself… Is that why you’re here?”

“Yes,” you replied with a frown, almost a wince, all of it an act, of course.

“Pray Our Father 10 times and–”

“No! Allow me to relate my story, Father,” he tried to stop you. “I must, I must, or then I might go to him and offer myself in a terrible, ungodly manner and then I won’t ever be deserving of the church ever again.”

Frankly, you didn’t even know how you’d gotten so inspired, but Remus relented, nodding and when he realised you hadn’t heard, he bit his cheek and said. “Go on then.”

You sighed, that was a real sigh, you weren’t sure you’d get this far. “I had a dream of him, Father. He was handsome as ever, and he looked at me, with such kind eyes, with such loving eyes, that when he leaned in to kiss me, I didn’t stop him.”

Remus was already praying for himself. He did not want to imagine you in your bed, your hair sprawled over the pillow and your mind away in a dream, kissing another man.

“I didn’t stop him when he pinned me against the wall, and I didn’t stop him when his hand dug under my shirt. I said nothing when it travelled to my breast, and I all but moaned when he pinched my nipple.”

“That is enough, I get the idea.”

“But that’s not the whole dream,” you protested, you sounded mortified. How could he stop your repentance for his own misguided thoughts? A man of God wasn’t supposed to harbour this kind of feelings for a fellow human, he was not meant to like you so much, and his pants were not meant to be as uncomfortable.

“You don’t have to go onto the details–”

“But Father, I must repent for all of my sins.”

Remus sighed, “Go on then.”

“And then when he reached down, oh Remus, I spread my legs for him rather than shut them close…” you didn’t say a thing. You could hear his breathing had gotten a lot more ragged. “He slid this hand through my knickers and touched me, that place that should only be touched by your husband. And… it felt good. I moaned his name until my voice went hoarse in the dream. I saw him pump himself and woke up as he rubbed his cock onto my folds.”

There was a sigh of relief when he thought the story was over. “It is good that you repent–”

“The worst part is yet to come.” You said, and you breathed. “When I awoke, I felt a wetness between my legs. My underwear was moist and the stickiness had rubbed onto my legs. I know I shouldn’t have done it, Remus, but I couldn’t resist the temptation. I wanted to know if it would feel as good as in the dream.”

“Child.”

“I reached down and repeated the actions the man had done to me. My fingers weren’t as strong or secure, but I found a spot that felt incredible, and I kept touching it, rubbing it, circling around it.”

Remus’ boner was straining against his pants in an almost painful way. He wanted to let go, he wanted to set him free and chase his own pleasure at your words. At how he pictured you in your bed, sweaty and sighing as you touched yourself. You were so beautiful, he found innocence even in the way you sinned.

“And then there was bliss, I thought I was dеad and had gone to heaven, but I came back, vision cloudy and disoriented. My bedsheets were sticky with my juices and I had to change them. I’ve been in a permanent state of shame ever since then.”

“Let us pray for your forgiveness,” Remus said. And my own, he thought. Now not only your sheets had been stained, but so had his pants, just from hearing you. You would have relished on the knowledge if you’d had it.

“Thank you, Father,” you said as you stood.

“Pray tell me child, whoever is this man that has you in such an altered state of mind?”

Got him! you thought as you turned your gaze to the confessionary. And almost in a whisper, you murmured. “Well, it’s you, Remus.”

ACT IV: Thou shall not commit adultery

Remus couldn’t stop thinking of you since that day. He’d get boners with the mere thought of you, with the idea of you going back to his confessionary and telling him all the lewd things you had done while thinking of him again.

He thought of you in the shower, and he thought of you in bed, and he thought of you while praying to try and take his mind away from you as well. He knew he was in deep trouble and he had no one he could talk to about his problem.

He had avoided touching himself, but it was hard and it was painful to ignore the throbbing sometimes, and he had to give in. Gently brushing his hand on top of his trousers until either it subdued or he came, completely forgetting who he was and thinking only of your hot lips in his and your legs wrapped around his waist as he kissed you in the exact same way he’d had you in your dream. A dream that had now become as much his as it had been yours.

The next Wednesday he was nervous. Bouncing his leg while he had breakfast and playing with his nails while he read the verse he’d have to give that day. His breath was stuck in his throat as he started to preach and he waited. And waited as he spoke and looked at the door and then back at the bible held between his hands and then back at the door.

You didn’t go to church that day.

Naturally, he was mortified. Thinking he had done something wrong, thinking he had scared you and thinking he’d pushed you away somehow. Thinking you were too scared to see him again after those lewd dreams, thinking –God forbid- you had chosen a different church to attend.

So when the next Wednesday you showed up with a small skirt (the smallest you had ever gone to church with) and a simple preppy-looking sweater he couldn’t help but be both relieved and terrified, all at the same time. You had tinted your lips red, not enough for it to be lipstick, but enough for them to look raw and bitten, and while your hair was perfectly put together, and your makeup right in place, there was something about you that screamed danger.

You sat right in the very first row. There were like 5 other people in the massive church that day. Someone sitting in the middle. A couple of old people in the back and a few others scattered around. No one young, and no one near the front either.

Oh, what a terrible thing it was that you were about to do.

Remus was quick to dismiss his deacons, asking them to go fetch something while he preached mass and they gave him a courteous nod while he started talking. As per usual, you listened attentively, paying close attention to the things he said, and despite yourself, often finding the things that you disagreed with. You realized he could barely take his eyes off you, and you slowly, spread your legs. Only a little, only enough to get his attention. You saw the way he licked his lips, and went back to talking. And you smiled. You pulled your ass back and opened yourself a little wider before crossing one leg over the other. You accommodated your skirt with your hand, slow and steady. Pulling your skirt up to show more skin before pulling it down and settling it in place, but only after he’d noticed, and seen as much of skin as possible, all the while, pretending to be doing it all innocently. Like you hadn’t worn that small skirt on purpose and like you hadn’t taken off your knickers and placed them in your bag in that public loo before walking inside the church.

When the mass ended, you saw Remus disappear into the confessionary. Onto the confession side. You saw him look around and then get inside, nervous as if scared to be seen. Probably trying to run away from you. When you made sure that there was no one left, you walked inside the other side. He was hunched, elbows leaning on his knees and head hidden between his hands. You thought you had gone too far since he looked like he had been crying, but you quickly realised he had been praying instead.

Sure, he’d have complicated thoughts, but your plan was meant to be fun for the two of you, and you wanted him to enjoy being corrupted as much as you enjoyed corrupting him.

“Remus,” you said tentatively. “Are you okay?”

He gasped and turned to the small division, he couldn’t see you, but you could see him perfectly. “It’s you.”

Rather than replying you cocked your head to the side. “Take a moment to examine your conscience and bring to mind the sins you wish to confess,” you joked. He gave you a stern look from the other side, a reproaching sort of look as if he wanted to tell you how terrible it was for you to impersonate a Priest, but he didn’t speak. “Or should I speak of mine first?”

“Please don’t.”

“Then sing, little bird.”

Remus huffed. “I’ve been thinking about a woman, non-stop.”

“A church woman?”

“I’m not sure if she really is a church woman anymore.”

“A devil?”

“No.”

You smiled, “Then, what’s so wrong about thinking of her?”

“I’m no ordinary man. It’s against my beliefs.”

“To think of a woman is against your beliefs?”

“To think of her in the way I’ve been thinking of her.”

“Which is?”

“As terrible as your dream, my darling.”

You smirked at that, biting your lip so hard you might have drawn bIood if you hadn’t stopped to say something else. “So you’ve been thinking of kissing me?”

“Yes.”

“Of touching me?”

“Yes,” he said, strained.

“Of fucking me?”

Silence.

“Have you thought of the sounds I would make, of the sighs and moans and groans?”

He closed his eyes, a deep frown etched on his features. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I used your confession to fuel my imaginations, to satisfy my carnal desires to–”

“That’s okay.”

“It is not!” he responded, distressed.

“Remus,” you said simply. “I wanted you to think of me,” you admitted. “I wanted you to think of me while you touched yourself the same way I thought of you while I did it. The same way I’ve been thinking of you while doing it, in fact.”

His head snapped your way, he seemed mortified, but you could also see one of his hands being brought down, adjusting his pants.

“Do you want me to tell you how I do it?”

“No,” he lied.

“Are you sure? I won’t ask again.”

He looked to the side, red from shame. He bit his lip. “Tell me.”

You smiled, “I lay in bed, and then these images come to my mind, I think of you, of your hands. They’re touching me, they’re everywhere. I don’t know where you ended and I start and I love every bit of it. It’s my hands that travel down my thighs but I think of them as yours. It is my fingers that slide in between my folds but I believe they’re yours.”

“Fucking hell,” he said, his grip on the wooden latch, grip tightening until his knuckles turned white. You peered through the blinds and realised the tent in his pants.

“Remus,” you said quietly. He turned to the wooden division, gaze strained, eyes filled with guilt, he was looking for you, but he couldn’t see past the squares and the small, shadow of you that got through. “Touch yourself.”

It was soft, the way you said it. Soft like a suggestion more than a command, but neither of you doubted it was the latter. And as if it had been a command from God himself, he listened and did what told. He patted himself over his black pants and hissed at the strain he’d been on. It was almost painful, how constricted and trapped his cock had been.

“Soft,” you said then, watching, resisting your own temptation to dig your hand under your skirt. “Be kind to yourself, Remus, you deserve it.”

He listened, and continued to rub himself, passing his hand back and forth and allowing it to help with the strain. “Te” –he stuttered– “tell me how you feel.”

“The inner side of my legs is soft, incredibly so,” you said. “I get chills when I run my hands close to my core.”

“It’s wet,” you said then. You had dug your hand under your skirt now. “Really wet.”

He could hear your breaths getting sharper, he assumed you were also touching yourself on the other side and he could barely think properly, barely command his hand to do what it needed to do to help himself.

“That looks painful,” you said as you saw him continue to rub himself over his trousers. “Take yourself out.”

“What?” he asked, confused.

“Touch yourself with your bare hand, Remus.”

He seemed like he would protest, so you decided to give him some encouragement. You placed your finger between your folds and brushed over your clit, emitting a soft moan, “Please.”

Just like before, Remus followed your command, unbuttoning his pants and pulling his boxers down enough so he could pull himself out. You smiled. “So beautiful, aren’t you?” you praised from the other side. He was long, thick and standing proud. He was hesitant at first, but he eventually placed his hand around himself. “Fuck,” he whispered. “I’d forgotten how good it feels.”

Of course, he had been a teenager once, of course, he had touched himself while feeling terrible for doing so and having grown up in a Christian household.

“Remus?”

“Yeah?” he asked, as he pumped. Slow and steady, as if he didn’t want to go too fast and show you how easy it was for him to cum at the thought of you.

“You’re making me insanely wet, I might have ruined your comfy little chair here.”

“Are you teasing me?”

“No, I’m being a good little lamb that tells no lies,” you said in response. “Ah… fuck.”

“What was that?”

“Just thinking of how incredible your hand would feel if it were doing what mine is?”

“Which is?”

“Shhh…” you said. He stopped moving. “You hear that?” you asked. It was a lewd wet sound. “It’s my finger, coming in and out of myself.”

Remus moaned your name and bit his lips. He came in his hand before he had time to really visualize you. “Ugh,” he said as he looked at the mess he’d made all over his hands, some of it also on his pants.

You took a handkerchief from your bag and passed it over your legs, collecting some of the sticky stuff between your folds and then you passed it through the small, opened section. Crossing your hand, the one with still glistening fingers over.

You knew he’d noticed the second his eyes opened wide. “So you clean yourself, I used it for myself too.” He bit his lip and carefully took it from your hands, and cleaned your fingers with it as if he tried to wash his sin by cleaning your equally sinful fingers. But he didn’t bring his cum covered hand even close to it. Let alone his cock. “What? You think it’s gross?”

“I don’t want to ruin it,” he said as he brought it close to his nose and sniffed, stifling a moan with the fabric. Now you were the speechless one. “Do you have a napkin?”

You somehow managed to pull a napkin from your bag and handed it over to him through the same place. He used that to clean himself and placed it neatly folded in one of his pockets.

“Can I keep this?” he asked as he held the handkerchief between two fingers.

“Yes,” you almost stuttered. You had never seen a man do something as ridiculous –and hot– as what he’d done.

“Will you disappear again, angel?”

“Angel?” you asked with a smirk, “I would think you’d see me as something else, a devil, perhaps.”

“Impossible, a devil wouldn’t be able to show me heaven like you did today.”

Speecheless, again. This man really could bring you to your knees. “Do you even want to see me again?”

“More than anything on this earth.”

“Fine then, I’ll come to confess tomorrow, how does that sound?”

“I’ll be waiting.”

ACT V: Thou shall honour your Mother and Father

After the heat of the moment, Remus felt the sudden urge to repent, to throw away the handkerchief and to pray in bed until his knees were raw from how much he’d been kneeling. And he tried, but even as he prayed he knew how pointless it was. The act of repenting, of praying and being forgiven for your sins, only worked if you actually felt regret over what you’d done.

But Remus was far from feeling remorseful. He had repented a great many things throughout his life. Not trusting his innocent best friend and blaming him for things that had happened, not doing more for the world when he had the chance and smaller, pesky things that most people wouldn’t bat an eyelash about but that he constantly put himself down for.

But having done what he did on the confessionary, hearing your small moans and the lewd sounds that you’d made for him, telling him what to do and how to do it, that he didn’t regret. On the other hand, he wanted to do it again. You had taken him to heaven and he was eager to see it again. And he did it, repeated the same actions, it was cold and dark and there was no one even close to his room when he pulled that handkerchief out and placed it on his face. Smelling the scent of you while he pulled himself out of his pants and jerked himself for the second time that day. He came with the thought of you at the confessionary and your name muffled by the handkerchief that he refused to move from his mouth. By the end, he was sore and delicate and he felt like he had pushed himself too hard, but he found the most peaceful sleep afterwards.

When he woke up again, he was still covered in his own cum and he had to wash the sheets of his bed in his sink before anyone noticed what he had done. The shame he felt diluting as the sun rose, and he imagined you coming back to the church. He pictured you in that small skirt you’d worn yesterday, or in the simple dress you’d taken the first time that you went to hear his mass. But he was not expecting to see you walk in the clothes you’d worn.

A white dress, long enough to reach mid-thigh, and made of soft sheer fabric layered one on top of another. He might have been imagining things but he would have sworn he could see your nipples perk through the thin fabric when you turned to him, a small, innocent smile on your face as you threw him a look and walked inside the confessionary. An angel, you really were an angel.

“Pretty thing, you’ve come back,” he said as he too walked in, this time taking the side that belonged to him, he loved that he could see you.

“I promised, Remus.”

“I know, angel. But I’m always scared I’ve dreamed you up, that you’re not real and that I was just imagining you all along.”

You smirked and pushed your hand through the small hole connecting the two of you, “I’m very real, Remus, you can touch me.”

He did, he placed his hand on top of yours and you heard a sigh of relief when his thumbs pressed onto your hand. He was careful and kind, passing his fingers over your knuckles and under your palm in a soft, gentle manner that was sending shivers down your spine. This poor man was breaking down for you, and yet he was the gentlest of them all.

“You really are,” he breathed. He didn’t know if he should be happy that you were real, or horrified by the things he’d done for you, of the things he’d do. His faith? He might have been willing to throw it all away for another chance to see you, for another chance to feel your hands, for your lips, your kisses. How could he believe in a God that had given him nothing, when you were here, willing to give him everything?

“Yesterday I saw it all and you barely got to hear me, I thought of showing you my sins rather than describing them to you today, is that okay, Father?” That last bit was a taunt, in the same way you’d been taunting him since the very beginning.

“Yes,” there was no hesitance, if anything, you would have only described the waver in his voice as excitement.

You couldn’t hold back the smirk that pulled from your lips, Remus’ breath hitched as you accommodated yourself in the chair. Leaning back and spreading your legs for him, letting the soft fabric of your dress fall in between your tights and slowly show the outline of your legs.

“When was the last time you saw a woman naked?”

“In real life? Never.”

Your head snapped to him, although all you could see was the outline of a shadow through the dark-edged wood, “Never?!? Pictures?”

“When I was around 15.” He admitted. “My best friend Peter once took a few magazines to school after the break. He said his father had gotten them for him on his 14th birthday and that he told them to take them back before his mother noticed. I barely remember them.”

“Did you jack off to them?”

“I stole a page,” he admitted with a bitter laugh. “It was this girl with a forest-green, transparent robe. I took her home with me, my father found it and he was enraged. He called me a monster and drove me straight into church.”

“The priest there took a look at the image, and made me kneel down on the rocky floor and pray for forgiveness. I don’t know if he forgot, or if he did it on purpose, but he said not to stand until he came back and he didn’t come back until 7 hours later.”

“My god,” you said. Remus didn’t even think of reprimanding you for taking his name in vain. “That must have been awful. Your parents were terrible.”

Remus shrugged, “It’s what I was used to,” he added when he remembered you couldn’t actually see him, although you could feel his hands tense at the thought.

“That means, since then… you’ve never even–?”

“No,” he admitted softly. “I guess it’s easier not to do something when you don’t know how it feels. Although my best friend was always eager to tell me how good it was.”

“Worry not, you won’t have to use your imagination anymore,” you said as you pulled your hand back into your area and moved it to the thin strap of the dress, slowly sliding it down, he could barely see the valley of your breast, and yet he felt himself start to tense, his cheeks heat and bIood rushing south.

“You don’t have to–”

“But I want to,” you said, turning your gaze from your bare shoulder and towards him, he could see the mirth shining in your eyes, he could see the mischievousness and the licentiousness reflected on your pupils. You pulled the other strap down and then moved both of your hands to the fabric at the top of your breasts, pulling it down and letting them in full view.

Remus breathed sharply when he finally saw them. Of course, he knew what they looked like, the girls in Peter’s magazine had shown him. James had described them, but that was nothing compared to seeing them in real life, it was nothing compared to seeing yours in real life.

You smiled at the little to no sound he was making from the other side. You leaned your back on the stunningly carved wooden wall of the confessionary and squared your shoulders for him. “They look like this for you,” you said as you slid your hand over one of your nipples. “They turned hard the minute I spotted you at the door.”

Silence, nothing more than a ragged breath.

“Cat got your tongue?” You teased.

“I had never seen a prettier thing in my life,” he said. “Except for your angelic face, that is.”

You laughed in return, a sweet and soft laugh that he would have done anything to hear again. “You’re good at this for someone who’s never done it.”

“Good at what?”

“At making a woman blush.” You said. “But I’m just as good,” you added as you pulled one of your legs up on the small seat, your dress fell over and bunched up covering your core, but Remus barely even cared, he was immersed in the plushness of your thigh, imagining how it would feel wrapped around his waist.

You heard him swallow thickly.

“In my dream,” you started, “In my dream, we weren’t here, we were hiding somewhere in the church.” Your breath had slowed down, one of your hands was playing with your thigh, the other one on your breast. You didn’t usually pay much attention to them, but it was that you knew his eyes were on you, that touching them, knowing how it must have made him feel, was turning you on even more than before. “You were kissing me –ah– you were touching me.”

Remus was, by now, having to adjust his extremely uncomfortable pants.

“How?” he asked, almost in a whisper. “Show me how I was touching you.”

You couldn’t even hold back the smile from your face. “You traced your fingers over my thigh,” you placed your hand on your bare knee, and then started to move it downwards, towards yourself. “You were kissing me here,” you added as you leaned your neck to the side for him to see better. And then… you touched me here.” Your hand was already in your core. You moved the ruffles of the dress to the side, allowing him to see, to see all of you. You heard a small gasp, when he noticed you had worn no knickers.

“You slid your hands on my slit,” you said and followed your own instructions, “Soft and gentle, like you are when you’re preaching. In the same way that you moved your delicate slender fingers over the bible,” you breathed, a little more ragged now. “You slid one of your fingers in between my folds, and looked for my clit. You found it almost instantly, and you rolled your finger over it gently, you loved my whimpers.”

“I do,” he agreed. “I imagined them while touching myself last night. Those wet little sounds you make when you–”

“Ah,” you breathed as you dug your fingers inside yourself, your walls tightening around it involuntarily. “Like this?” you asked and smiled, biting your lip before you did it again. You brought the hand on your breast downwards and leaned back a little so you could spread your legs even further. Remus’ mouth watered, he wondered how wrong would it be to taste you?

To bury his head in your legs and lick all of the wetness that coated your fingers, to be so close that the smell of you got everywhere, that he wouldn’t need the handkerchief to feel you close. You continued to touch yourself. Breathing heavily, sighting and moaning softly, he wondered what that would feel if it were directly whispered into his ear.

You were so lost in yourself for those first few minutes, so wrapped in the feeling that you hadn’t realized the lack of beautiful moans from his side.

“Remus–” you said breathily, “Why aren’t you touching yourself?”

“Yesterday at night I– I did it again… a couple of times. I’m, it’s a little painful,” he admitted shamefully, but your eyes shone with lust so intense at his words that he continued talking. “It was your little handkerchief’s fault. I was going to wash it, but I got its scent and it made me feral.”

“Aha?” you asked, as you continued to touch yourself.

“I couldn’t stop thinking of you. Shut my door and laid on my bed with it over my nose.”

You hummed contentedly, half a moan, half a hum.

“I was so hard it was ridiculous. I had barely even smelled you. I hadn’t even gone through the images of that wonderful dream of yours.”

You sighted in bliss, breath ragged as you slid your finger out of yourself and turned to him with a smile.

“I have an idea,” you said and then let out a breathy laugh.

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keyotos · 8 months

Text

"you know, if being cute was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!"

you have been at this for hours (it has only been a few minutes) now. wriothesley, who has been idly sipping his tea with a straight face, has not yet wavered at your terrible pick-up lines.

"that one was bad," he sips. you roll your eyes.

you clear your throat, "if fine was a felony, you'd be on death row," you give wriothesley an exaggerated wink.

he gives you a disconcerted look.

you pout, "okay, c'mon! that one was good!"

wriothesley puts his teacup on the table and moves his chair closer to yours, "i don't think death row should be associated with romance," he shakes his head, "that may have been the worse one today."

"i think that was, 'are you a crime? because i'll do you anyday!'" you laugh and grab wriothesley's teacup, taking a drink out of it so ordinarily.

wriothesley basks in this. tonight is a quiet night: the inmates aren't awake, sigewinne has clocked out for the day, and you are here. it's strange how you are one of the loudest people wriothesley knows of, yet you make the world sound so quiet when you're around. whatever your magic is, wriothesley isn't opposed to it.

everything about this scene reads domesticity, even though the two of you have been together for a couple of months. spending late nights together, sleeping in the same bed, drinking out of the same teacup? if someone had told wriothesley a few months ago that he would be doing these things (nevertheless with you), he would have called them mad. but here he is, sitting in his office doing nothing but drinking tea, while hearing you recite horrible pick-up lines.

"wouldn't it be the perfect crime if i stole your heart and you stole mine?" you push the teacup towards you boyfriend.

wriothesley winces, "maybe that was the worse one today."

"what?! i thought that one wasn't bad."

your boyfriend looks to the side, "it was really cheesy."

"clearly, you missed the point of pick-up lines," you lay your head down on the desk, "i'd like to see you come up with one."

wriothesley chuckles. you relish in the fact that you are one of the only people that have ever heard him laugh. it's an unexpected sound, and it always comes out more lighter than most people would think. but it's endearing, just like him; you always think that a light chortle from him would paint your dark skies to a clear blue.

"i'm saving myself from the embarrassment," wriothesley sips out of the teacup, on the same side you drank of, you might add.

"boring," you draw out the syllables of the word.

"what? did you run out of lines?" wriothesley teased you, taking another drink out of the teacup to hide his smile. he watched as your face morphed into a light grimace.

"i did not, actually," you raise your head off the desk, "in fact, i'm thinking of one right now."

"oh no..." wriothesley shivers. you shoot him a petulant look. he backs down.

when you think, you have this habit of sticking your tongue out of your lips, just ever-so slightly. your eyebrows crease just a little bit, not enough to be furrowed, but enough to not be at resting position. your eyes don't narrow, they widen. wriothesley thinks that if someone caught you like this on a kamara, your photos would go down in history.

finally, after what felt like years (it was one minute), you look back up at him. this time, however, your eyes are laced with uncertainty rather than flirtatiousness.

"if being in love is illegal, would you be my partner in crime?"

love. you guys haven't talked about it yet.

was that why your eyes were so full of nervousness? did you think he didn't love you back? if that was the case, then it'd be preposterous, for how can anyone look at you and not fall in love? although, wriothesley supposes that it's a good thing, because that means you're his to have.

one side of his brain is in doubt. it's just a joke, it says, they're not being truthful, it's just a pick-up line. but his heart says otherwise. if they were joking, then why do their eyes look like that? why are they fidgeting with their fingers? why are they gently tapping their foot on the ground?

love has never been a consideration for wriothesley. throughout his life, it has been abandonment and independence. there's only been room for one, not two. but you: you reconstructed his entire mind. so now, when he thinks about drinking tea, he doesn't drink alone anymore. when he's staying late to do paperwork, he doesn't have to be alone while doing so. when there was one, there is now two.

oh.

oh shit. your confession of love came from a pick-up line. and it actually worked on him, because he loves you back. he loves you back so much. wriothesley loves you back with his heart, his mind, his body, and possibly his soul. and he realized the extent of his love through a pick-up line. from you out of all people.

though, even though he's in love with you, he's not letting you get the satisfaction of your line working.

"i don't know. according to the my close friend, the duke of meropide, he says it's illegal to participate in criminal activities." wriothesley's tone is soft. his eyes are full of endearment. your eyebrows stop crinkling, and your eyes revert back to normal. you know. you know.

you give into an easy smile, "don't you think your friend, the duke, is a little too compliant to the law?"

"sorry, he's not changing his ways. but," wriothesley gets out of his chair and strides towards you. his hand meet your jawline, and his thumb traces the corner of your lip that's turned downwards due to your pout. with his thumb, he guides it upward, making it so you were smiling. he laughs slightly⎯twice tonight, which is something he did not expect to do⎯and moves his thumb to lightly caress your bottom lip.

he uses his hand to tilt your head up towards him. you know what's coming, and you excitedly lean in closer. wriothesley tilts his head down to meet your lips, carefully tracing every angle of your jaw as he does so. you meet him halfway, closing the gap between you two almost immediately. wriothesley can feel you happily grin into the kiss. you grab his shirt collar and pull him closer into you, and he obliges with no hesitation.

you are the first one to pull away, and it takes all of wriothesley's willpower to stop himself from pulling you back in.

"but?" you ask, chest heaving up and down. wriothesley, the bastard, is still breathing normally. "does the duke of meropide have any contentions?"

wriothesley shakes his head, "i think he could make some exceptions," he whispers, grinning while doing so.

he doesn't miss the beaming glow of your smile as leans in once more. and then, he knows that he'll be your partner in crime for a long time.

#tana writes (∗´ ᨔ `∗)#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x you #wriothesley #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley x you #wriothesley x y/n #they r so sweet nothing by tswift coded #THIS WAS THE CUTEST THING I EVER WROTE

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clara-a7 · 8 days

Text

Interview | Joost Klein

Pairing: Joost Klein x Reader

Requested? Yes! By an anon

Word Count: 416

A/N: Sorry, if the fanfic is very short and there are mistakes, english isn't my first language. i'm so sorry for that＞﹏＜

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The tension was palpable in the interview room. The cameras were in place, the microphones tuned, and you were seated, ready to answer the questions that would shape the public's perception.

As a Eurovision contestant, every word and gesture was scrutinized and analyzed. The journalist sat across from you, a professional smile fixed on his face.

"Welcome, Y/N, it's a pleasure to have you with us today."

"Thank you so much, I'm thrilled to be here," you replied with a little smile.

The interview begin, with questions about your preparation for the competition, your musical inspirations, and your expectations for the Eurovision finale. You responded with enthusiasm, trying to convey the passion you felt for music and for this extraordinary event.

Then come the question you dreaded, the inevitable one. The journalist adjusted his glasses and dove straight into the heart of the matter.

"Many fans have noticed a certain alchemy between you and Joost, on online, there some rumors, with the speculating that you might be a couple. Can you shed some light on this?" Your heart skipped a beat at the question.

The rumors about your relationship with Joost had escalated in recent days, fueled by snapshots and videos of your backstage interactions. You blushed, because during that week with Joost, you had developed feelings for him, even though you knew he didn't feel the same way, it squeezed your heart.

The journalist looked at you with a questioning gaze, awaiting your response. But you can't find the goods words, the journalist seemed bored waiting for your answer, out of nowhere, Joost unexpectedly intervened, surprising both you and the journalist.

"I think I heard my name?" Joost said, coming up behind you and putting his hands on your shoulders

The journalist seized the opportunity to pose the same question to Joost. Joost winked at you before responding,

"I guess our fans will just have to keep guessing, won't they? But I just want to say that Y/N will always have a special place in my heart" he says, blowing you an air kiss.

You blush harder at his answer. "So we'll never know?" laugh the journalist, seeing the clearly visible link between you and Joost.

The interview concluded on a teasing note from the journalist, suggesting that there might be more to your relationship than just friendship, leaving fans eagerly to know what the future holds for you and Joost after Eurovision.

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!Pictures is not mine. Found on Pinterest. Full credit to the owner!

#eurovision #eurovision 2024 #europa #joost klein #joost klein x reader #joost klein x you #europapa #justice for joost #fuck ebu #netherlands #interview #joost

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jeneveuxrein · 6 months

Text

safety net [2/2] (BLACKPINK Rosé)

word count: 25.8K

part 1 (14.8K) | part 2 (11K)

(yeah, lol)

Self-loathing has always been something you’ve done. It was likely the result of never being good enough for your parents even when you delivered on every single expectation they’ve had for you.

At this current point in your life, you hate yourself for the situation you blindly agreed to.

It’s been about a month since Rosie disturbed your peace in the library, asking if you’d teach her how to have sex, which translates into having sex with her.

You haven’t had sex yet, but you’ve done everything else a lot. Rosie has been eager to finally do it, but there’s something that always stops you. She gets frustrated, but you eat her out, quickly bringing her to an orgasm, and all is forgotten until next time. You sense her getting impatient, but you’re scared that once you finally do, that’ll be it.

And it’s been nice spending all this time with her. You see her pretty much every day. The only times you don’t is if she has to finish a project or if she has a date with Soohyun. When it’s the latter, you get all broody, but your mood immediately changes when she messages you as soon as she’s home.

Rosie doesn’t tell you much about the dates unless you ask. She has shared that they’ve exchanged a couple kisses here and there, but she often compares Soohyun to you—too much teeth, too aggressive, too… everything she’s not used to. It goes straight to your ego because how could it not.

The physical aspect of your relationship aside, you two are actually getting along. You still bicker, but it doesn’t end with her yelling anymore.

Rosie’s a catch, which is understandable based on the amount of people that want to be with her. She’s funny. She’s kind. She’s driven. She’s sometimes in her own world, that you often get lost with her when she rambles on about her day. She’s someone you could see yourself with if it was under different circumstances.

You hear your name being called, breaking you out of your thoughts as you stare at your computer screen. You see Rosie approaching you with Jisoo, waving as the other woman looks bored already.

“Hey Rosie,” You greet affectionately. “Jisoo.”

Jisoo gives you a wave, smiling, as Rosie walks behind your chair.

“Whatcha working on?” Rosie peeks over your shoulder.

It’s an expense report that your father sent you to look over, but you’ve been swamped with exams coming up.

“Just work stuff,” You answer, stretching your arms and letting out a yawn. “Are you done with your project?”

“Yeah, Jisoo and I were going to grab dinner but I wanted to find you before we left,” Rosie ruffles your hair. “I’ll come by after though?”

Jisoo makes a gagging sound, earning a glare from the woman behind you.

“Sure, I’ll be home around 8. I have a game today,” You inform her, checking the time.

“Oh what? You should’ve told me, I would’ve came,” Rosie sounds disappointed.

“It’s alright, I probably won’t play that much anyways,” You send her an easy smile. “I’ll see you later.”

Rosie nods, blowing you a kiss that has you blushing while Jisoo makes the sound again. She grunts when Rosie hits her arm, a quick bye before getting dragged away.

You watch their figures get smaller, suddenly missing Rosie that you can’t focus anymore on work. You sigh, shaking your head, deciding that you’ll just shoot around before your game.

“Why,” Rosie tears her lips away from yours, tilting her head back that you attack her neck. “Won’t you have sex with me?” She pants when you suck on her skin, careful to not leave a mark because he might see it.

“Are you in a rush?” You murmur, hand sneaking underneath her blouse to palm her breast.

“Well—no,” She gasps when you gently pinch her nipple. “I just think I’m ready. We’ve done a lot and I—fuck.”

“You what?” You continue your ministrations on her chest, massaging each breast with equal attention.

“I’ve been thinking about how you’d feel inside me,” You stop and she squirms underneath you.

If you weren’t hard enough before, you’re about ready to bust through your briefs.

You pull back, staring at her. Your mind’s going a mile a minute because you weren’t expecting to actually follow through tonight.

“I want this with you,” Rosie whispers, sitting up slightly to kiss you on the lips. “If anything hurts, I’ll tell you.”

Fuck fuck okay. It’s go time and you couldn’t talk yourself out of this.

“Okay,” You nod, kissing her forehead. “Are you sure?” You have to ask one more time.

“Yes,” Rosie tugs her blouse over her head, leaving her completely nude. “You’re overthinking this.”

You are, but for reasons she doesn’t know. You don’t even know yourself. You’re acting as if it’s your first time.

“Kiss me,” And you do, resting your weight on top of her.

It’s slow and sensual, her lips soft on your as you trail your hand between her legs. You swipe a finger in between her folds to check and she’s wet. She moans at the contact, rolling her hips for more contact. You repeat the movement just to be sure. You’ve been told that you’re above average in the size department, and you don’t want her to be in any pain.

Rosie gets impatient, tugging your waistband down to free your cock. You groan when her hand wraps around you, stroking you gently as you kick the material off.

When you deem her wet enough, you meet her hand with yours, guiding your cock in between her lips. Your body screams at you to enter her, but instead with your control quickly slipping, you run your length in between, moaning at the first contact of her pussy.

“Stop teasing,” Rosie pants, body trembling beneath you as you rock your hips.

“I’m sorry,” You’re really not. You don’t know what comes over you, but you lean back, spreading her legs wider as you grip your cock, spreading the precum over. “I need to get a condom.” You reach over to your nightstand, but she stops you.

“Have you had sex with anyone since?”

“No,” You’ve been too wrapped up in her that any woman that you’ve seen at a party or hooked up with previously hasn’t been on your mind.

“Then no condom, I’m on the pill,” Rosie says softly.

You stare at her for a moment, heart pounding against your chest at what she’s offering. Rationale goes out the window because even though you’ve had a condom rule for the past year, you’d love to feel her without one.

“Trust me?” Rosie bites her lip, nodding, eyes locked at your cock as you rest the head at her entrance. “Tell me if it’s too much.”

You take a breath, more for your sake, as your cock slowly enters her. Her hands shoot to your hip, stopping your movement instantly.

You’ve barely made any headway, but from what you’re feeling so far is too much for you to handle. She’s warm, wet, and tight as her body tenses at the intrusion. You keep reminding yourself to go slow because this is still her first time and going at the pace your body is telling you to would not be fair to her.

“Holy shit,” Rosie gasps as her hands move to grip your arms. “Keep going,” She breathes slowly, catching her breath as you press your hips slightly forward.

Her heat envelops you, applying a delicious pressure the deeper you go. You glance down at where your bodies are joined and you’re barely halfway there.

What you want to do is snap your hips forward, completely, but you’re aware of Rosie’s breathing and expressions for any signs of discomfort.

Though that awareness is quickly getting lost.

“Are you all the way?” Rosie asks weakly, eyes scrunched closed.

“Uh, almost?” You’re able to say as you gently rock back and forth to get your cock inside more. “How are you feeling?”

“It’s—fuck—not bad, but there’s just a lot of pressure,” Rosie breathes out.

Tell me about it.

You distract her by kissing her all over, keeping your rhythm as her body relaxes to take more of you in. Her nails scratch at your arms, but you’d take a little bit of pain any day.

You don’t realize it, but in no time, you’re fully sheathed by her heat, letting out a whimper when you see your cock disappear inside her.

“You doing okay?” You grunt, burying your face into her neck to keep yourself from cumming right then and there.

“Yeah,” Rosie sighs, experimenting by squeezing her inner walls around you.

“You’re so hot,” You murmur, trailing kisses along her neck. “Your pussy feels so good around me, you’re taking me so well.” Her body responds to your words—interesting—as she spreads her legs wider to take you in. “You like hearing how you make me feel, huh?” Rosie can only nod, tipping her head back.

You lean back, slowly pulling your hips back, and watch, entranced, as your cock slides out. It’s covered in her slick, and you’ve never seen anything hotter. You let out a sigh as you feel her contract around the tip. She moans and something snaps inside you that you suddenly thrust back in.

Rosie screams at the pressure, letting out a filthy moan that has you groaning. Your body moves on its own accord, slowly pumping your cock in and out of her pussy that has you seeing stars.

“Fuck, baby,” She moans, pants, as she starts to babble nonsense as her walls accommodate to your girth. “You feel so good.”

You try not to pay attention to the pet name, but it only spurs you on more.

Her walls rhythmically squeeze every time you bottom out. It doesn’t stop you. It makes you chase the feeling, an addiction that you wouldn’t mind having.

You lose yourself in her body, watching her bite her lip and lose her breath as she grabs onto the sheets. Hearing your name fall from her lips wakes something up in you.The sounds she makes drive you to thrust into her, and when you hit a certain spot inside, she demands you don’t stop. You don’t break rhythm as she squirms. You grab her hips, letting out groans of your own as you feel your orgasm coming.

“Chaeng,” Your hips falter as her pussy contracts after a particularly hard thrust, “I’m gonna cum.”

“Inside,” Rosie locks eyes with you, “Cum inside me.”

Your resolve snaps as you thrust wildly into her, chasing your orgasm as you feel the start of hers, walls squeezing your cocks so tightly you feel lightheaded. You feel her nails digging into your skin, holding onto like her life depends on it.

“Yes, yes,” Rosie chants like a song as her head snaps back, showing her neck as her body is wracked with pleasure.

Cum shoots from your cock inside her, painting her inner walls white, groaning as you rut into her. Your brain shuts off as you fall on top of her. She doesn’t seem to mind as she wraps her arms around you, placing soft kisses all over your face. You hear a contented sigh from her as you gasp for air.

When you come to your senses, you automatically kiss Rosie on the lips—a simple, sweet one—as you catch her breath against your lips. She tries to deepen it, but you pull away, smiling softly as you fully take her in. Your heart has never felt so loud.

“Hi,” You say quietly.

“Hey yourself,” Rosie returns your smile.

“You okay?” You glance down where you’re still connecting, hoping—praying—you weren’t too rough.

“A little sore, but never better.”

“ I wasn’t too rough right?”

“Nope,” Rosie shakes her head.

You gently pull out, watching her face wince, but she lets out a quiet moan when your softened cock brushes against her clit.

“Sorry!” You rush out, falling next to her as she chuckles.

“Stop,” Rosie lightly slaps your arm, bringing it to rest on her stomach.

“Sorry,” You mumble again.

“I feel it leaking,” Rosie states simply, sitting up to look in between her legs. You join her and see a dribble of your cum peak through her folds. “That’s kind of hot.”

“Chaeng,” You groan, the image of what’s between her legs etched in your mind forever.

“It is,” Rosie nudges your shoulder, laughing. “I’m exhausted. I hope I’m not too sore tomorrow, I have to carry a bunch of things to the studio.”

“I’ll help you.”

“Like actually?” Rosie sinks back into the pillow, turning to face you.

You nod.

“You don’t even have classes tomorrow?”

“I know, but I’ll take you to school with all your stuff,” You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t help her, knowing that she’ll likely be sore because of you. That wouldn’t sit well with you.

Rosie kisses you on the cheek, smiling before snuggling into you. It all feels very relationship-y, spiking your anxiety because you’re more attached to her than you ever intended.

And that scares you the most.

“Thanks Eunbi,” You send a grateful smile to the girl sitting across from you as you’re finishing up the group project that completely slipped your mind.

“It’s fine oppa,” Eunbi laughs. “It’s a low-stakes project anyways.”

“Still,” You roll your eyes, annoyed with yourself more than anything. “I would’ve literally forgotten about it if you didn’t say anything.”

You and Eunbi were assigned as partners for a project that wasn’t worth much towards your grade, but it was supposed to help with the semester project that was worth your entire grade. Eunbi was someone you interacted with frequently, sharing the same classes, but spending the past couple days with her has kept your mind off a certain someone (who you’ve been actively avoiding for the past few days)z

The day after you and Rosie had sex, you did drop her off at school, carrying all her things to the studio so she wouldn’t have to lift a finger. Naturally, people saw you together, creating a small rumor about you dating. It freaked you out because everyone is aware of her and Soohyun that you needed to distance yourself from her.

Of course, without her realizing what you’re doing. But Rosie was perceptive, so sooner or later, she’ll confront you.

“Are you doing anything right now?” Eunbi asks after she finished packing her belongings.

“Uh no?”

“Did you want to get dinner?”

“Sure why not,” You shrug because you’re not doing anything wrong, but why did you suddenly feel a weight on your shoulders?

Eunbi smiles, and she’s pretty. She knows it too, but she doesn’t let that get to her head. She is someone you haven’t gone out with or slept with, so it couldn’t hurt to spend a little bit more time with her outside of school work.

Right?

Wrong.

The universe has a funny way of making things happen.

As you’re exiting the library, Rosie’s outside. You try to avoid her, but she looks up at the right moment, eyes narrowing, and stomps her way over to you.

“Seriously?” Is all she says, glancing behind you to see who you’re with.

“What?” Your wall’s up, especially with people passing by. You pray to a higher being that she doesn’t make a scene.

“You know what,” Rosie huffs, crossing her arms.

“Uh, oppa,” Eunbi says before you could respond to the woman seething in front of you. “We can have dinner another time.”

You turn your head, and Eunbi has an understanding smile on her face, nodding encouragingly while you feel the metaphorical daggers stabbing the side of your face.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll see you around okay?” Eunbi’s eyes crinkle, nodding politely at Rosie before walking away.

Once Eunbi’s a good few meters away, Rosie tugs on your arm, “Seriously, what the fuck? You’ve been avoiding me.”

Okay so maybe you haven’t been handling this the best. You’ve intentionally missed her phone calls and blatantly ignored her messages. You don’t know if it’s because of how you feel towards her, which you’re still trying to figure out, or if it’s because you thought that it was a one-time thing.

“Can we not do this here?” You offer weakly, and her jaw noticeably clenches.

“Fine,” Rosie relents, shaking her head, cursing you under her breath before walking towards the parking lot.

You’re sitting on the couch, watching Rosie pace back and forth across your living room. She didn’t say much to you on the car ride over except that she was playing music. She grunted a thanks when you opened the door for her, opting to change into more comfortable clothes, leaving her some on your bed in case she wanted to change.

Other than that, she hasn’t said anything else.

“Did you want me to cook something?”

No response, the sound of Rosie’s feet continues to shuffle on the hardwood.

“You know,” Rosie stops in front of the window, back towards you as she looks out at the night city skyline, “I spent the last three days wracking my brain over why you weren’t talking to me.”

“I can–” Rosie shakes her head, prompting you to not say anything more.

“I thought everything between us was going well. Yeah we still bicker, but we aren’t arguing like we used to. We had sex. I thought it was great aside from the expected soreness, but then you just ghost me,” Thankfully she doesn’t see you wince. “I was like there’s no way he’s going to treat me like I’m one of his usual fucks, right? He has to have more respect for me.” Rosie turns around, eyes narrowed as she walks towards you.

“Rosie–”

“I thought about it more and I even talked about it with Lisa and Jennie because I needed someone, anyone really, to make sure I wasn’t going crazy,” Rosie stands in between your legs, crossing her arms. “Lisa being Lisa said that I was overthinking it too much, but do you want to know what Jennie said?”

“What?” You gulp, gaze locked on hers.

“Since you and Jennie had a fling, or whatever,” You detect something off in her tone when she says that, but if you point it out, she’ll yell at you. “She said that maybe you had feelings for me.”

Fucking Jennie.

“I called it absurd because it’s you and me. We set the rules, which for what it’s worth, we broke a couple of them, but that’s the one we absolutely couldn’t break,” Rosie’s eyes narrow, searching your face for truth. You hoped you weren’t giving anything away, but you weren’t too sure.

Sentences weren’t forming under her intense gaze, so you could only nod.

“I have to ask, do you have feelings for me?” Rosie asks point blank.

Yes is the short answer.

The long answer is much more complicated for you to put into words because you’re admitting to yourself that you do, and that’s what’s fucking you up more.

“No.”

“No? Then why were you avoiding me? I called. I texted. I had half the mind of just coming over here to curse you out, but Jennie stopped me,” Her shoulders drop, defeated, as the hurt breaks through her façade.

“I figured you were done with me,” You say softly.

“Why would you think that?” Rosie kneels in between your legs, resting her hands on your thighs. Your brain short circuits because it’s a very familiar position that your body has become very conditioned to.

“We had sex, isn’t that what you wanted? To just get it over with?”

“Well yeah,” Rosie folds her arms, cradling her face in her hands as she stares at you. “But I still want to do more things with you. Soohyun and I have gone on a few dates, but we aren’t anything official.”

“When he asks you out, that’s when this,” You gesture between your bodies, “Will be over?”

Rosie nods, “It would make the most sense right? I would be cheating on him if we continued doing things and I called him my boyfriend.”

It stings to hear that more than you thought it would, but you swallow that, pushing it deep down.

“That’s true. You’ll tell me when that happens?” You ask. You need to prepare yourself for a heartbreak you weren’t expecting.

“You’ll be the first to know when he asks me out,” Rosie moves, straddling your lap. “But for now, I want to do things with you,” She grounds her hips down, showing you exactly what she wants to do.

“Yeah?” Your cock starts to awaken, hardening as your hands grip her thighs. “Like what?”

“Ride you,” Rosie brings her lips to yours, murmuring, “I’m not sore anymore.”

You groan, mind clouded with her body bouncing on your cock—a very imminent reality as she pulls her top over her head, leaving her completely nude from the waist up.

“Go ahead, Chaeng,” You whisper against her lips, letting her take control of the night.

And you know you’ll be absolutely fucked out by the end of it.

Your hand contacts the flesh of her thigh, a loud smack rings through your room.

“Fuck baby,” Rosie moans loudly, rolling her hips back, trying to get your cock where she needs you most.

“Do you deserve it?” You bend forward, kissing her neck sweetly.

“Yes,” She pants, nodding obediently, squirming in your grip as she continues her movement, brushing your cock in between her lower lips.

Another loud smack echoes as Rosie nearly screams when you aim your cock at her opening, entering her in one swift thrust.

“Good girl,” You whisper, leaning back before watching your cock pull out just enough where your tip stays within her warmth.

“Please,” Rosie turns her head around, biting her lip, nodding that she’s more than okay. You feel her walls contract on your tip, a groan falling from your lips before you thrust back in.

You start off slow, wanting to savor this because whether Rosie knows it or not, this is the last time for this to happen.

Another month has gone by and Soohyun still hasn’t asked her out. Everyone knows they’re an item, but it hasn’t happened—yet.

Though everyone—besides her friends—doesn’t know that you fuck her every time after their dates.

The universe still never works in your favor, so you just happened to be in line to get coffee behind Soohyun and one of his friends before you had class. They spoke loud enough for you to hear his friend ask Soohyun when he was going to ask Rosie to be his girlfriend officially. Curiosity got the best of you, and when Soohyun said tomorrow after dinner, you knew you had to see her tonight.

It wasn’t out of the routine for you to see Rosie after school, but it was out of the routine for you to ask. You hardly initiated it because you didn’t want to assume, but the few times you did, it was because of your parents’ pressuring you to join them on an overseas trip to Japan to meet with the Nakamuras. You were overly stressed out and Rosie conditioned you to go to her to release any frustrations you had.

Was she surprised when you walked up to her in front of her roommates? No, because you were friends with them too. Was she surprised when you asked if she wanted to come over tonight? You weren’t sure, but you saw her head tilt, questioning before answering sure. You ignored the smirks that formed on their faces.

Rosie knew something was up the moment you pushed her against the front door as soon as it shut, dragging your lips across her neck.

“Everything okay?” Rosie asked in between breaths, letting out a squeak when you grabbed one of her legs, wrapping it around your waist.

“Yeah,” You answered, ignoring your thoughts as you grounded your hips over hers.

She didn’t ask anything else, moaning softly as you sucked on her collarbone, lifting her other leg to carry her to your room.

Rosie’s inner walls tighten along your cock on every pull out, and she moans, chest heaving as she takes your cock. Her body quivers in your hands as you saw yourself in and out, in and out.

“Baby,” The pet name falls from her lips. She only calls you it when your balls deep in her, and it spurs you on every single time. “You feel so good.”

“You’re a good girl,” You murmured, pressing your chest against her back. You stop your movements, leaving your length fully sheathed inside, “Show me what good girls do.”

Rosie lets out a small whine, squirming as she moves her body along your cock. Her hips gyrating on yours has you seeing stars, moaning in her ear. Her pussy tightens, rubbing itself over and over, and you scoff, knowing she found the special spot inside of her.

One hand slaps her ass, and she stops.

You’ve learned a lot about Rosie this past month. She may mouth off at you a lot in public, but behind closed doors, she’s obedient as ever, tapping into a side of you you hadn’t been since Nayeon. You both soon realized, after a particularly long night together, that it was something you both enjoyed with each other. Whenever she was particularly bratty, especially with her friends there, it would rile you up a lot.

“Good girls don’t cum first,” You say flatly. “Guess we stop now.” You slowly pull out before her hand reaches for yours, stopping your exit.

“No no no,” Rosie whines, vigorously shaking her head. “I’m sorry, you just feel too good.”

“Selfish,” You click your tongue, shaking your head.

“Baby please,” Rosie begs. She squeezes her inner walls on what’s remaining inside her, a dangerous trick she learned quickly, that has you groaning, slipping your length back inside. “Oh shit,” She moans at being filled.

“Fuck fine,” You relent, but you had other plans for her. You stand upright. You reach for her long blonde hair, tugging with enough force to pull her back against your chest. “But I’m fucking your pussy. This,” You snap your hips against hers, “Is mine. Right?”

Eyes widening, Rosie nods enthusiastically, “Yes baby yes.”

“Mine?” You snap your hips again, watching her breasts bounce.

“Yes,” She moans.

“Say it.”

Her hand turns your head towards her, bringing you in for a lustful kiss, tongues dancing as she moans, yours, into your mouth.

You suddenly drop the grip on her hair, her body falling onto the bed, taking you with her. You fall on top of her prone form and start hammering into her pussy.

You hope her screaming doesn’t get you a noise complaint, but if it does, you don’t give a flying fuck. Especially with the pressure her pussy is, squeezing your cock for all you have.

“Fuck you’re so good,” Rosie bites into her lip, eyes rolling back as she grips the sheets, crumpling in her hand. “So fucking good,” She repeats in between moans.

“You’re being good for me,” Her pussy tightens at the praise. “Keep being good for me.”

Your hands grip her ass, drilling your cock into her, and something snaps inside of you when she screams.

“Fuck this pussy’s mine,” You groan against her tangled hair.

“Yours, yours, yours—oh fuck,” Rosie chants, eyes shooting open as her orgasm surprises you both.

You feel your cock get pushed out as Rosie begins to squirt against your body, and she fucking gushes.

You’ve never made a girl squirt before, and Rosie has never had such a bodily reaction. You feel a streak of possessiveness rolls through your body. You shove your cock through her wetness, and you feel another rush of liquid as you wildly thrust in and out of her body.

“Fuck Chaeng,” You moan, your mind screaming mine mine, as your orgasm hits, shooting your load deep inside her. It must’ve triggered another orgasm because her pussy tightens again, knocking the air from your lungs, as your hips stutter erratically.

“Jesus fuck,” Rosie pants from underneath you, her body still quivering from her orgasm. Your chest heaves, hands slipping underneath her waist to hold her tightly. “That was…I don’t even know.”

“Yeah,” You grunt, kissing her hair before gently pulling your cock out. You don’t know either because you’ve taken Rosie roughly before, but never like this. She lets out a quiet moan, sighing, as you glance down to the mess between you. Quite a mess indeed.

Your body collapses next to Rosie as exhaustion takes over, but she quickly snuggles into you, wrapping an arm over your back.

“Are you okay?” Rosie mumbles into your ear, chin resting on your shoulder.

“Are you?” You turn your head to face her. The guilt washing in after you realize how hard you were on her.

“Well I know for a fact I’ll be sore tomorrow, but I’m great,” Rosie kisses your skin, mumbling out, “But seriously, are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You ask quietly.

Rosie stares at you, peeking her head over to search for an answer you’re scared she’ll find. She looks beautiful, and you’d love to tell her, but with the way she’s looking at you, something else might slip out.

“You called me mine,” Rosie says softly, bringing her fingers to comb through your hair.

“Sorry,” You bury your face into your pillow, embarrassed. “Heat of the moment,” You lie, knowing damn well it wasn’t.

“Don’t be shy,” Rosie scratches your head. “It was cute,” Giggling softly before adding, “Being yours sounds nice.”

You’re at a bar with a few of your friends—Jennie and Lisa included. It’s a normal night out with your friends to celebrate making it another week. You couldn’t really enjoy it like you normally would because you’ve been checking your phone every couple minutes, waiting for a message you know is coming your way.

“Oppa, pay attention to us,” Lisa whines next to you as Jennie chuckles on her lap.

“If you want to have a threesome, just ask,” That comment earns you a hard smack on the arm from Jennie, huffing in her now-girlfriend’s lap.

“Oh fuck off,” Jennie spits out, muttering to Lisa about how much of an asshole you are and why she ever slept with you.

You check your phone for any notifications and your heart drops when you see one from Rosie. You casually glance to make sure neither of the girls are peering over your shoulder, while you hear them talking to Ryujin on their other side.

You take a breath, tapping the screen to read the message.

Soohyun asked me to be his girlfriend.

You already knew it was coming, so why did it still hurt?

You lock your phone, shaking your head, as you try to process your emotions.

The time you’ve been spending with Rosie is over, and you couldn’t help but feel sad over it. It feels like when you and Nayeon broke up, but a thousand times worse. It’s not like you two were actually a couple, mere fuck buddies that spent hours together watching shows, eating out with, and a lot of other things in between.

But then why does it feel like it was more than a fuck?

You were aware that you were growing attached to Rosie, but you feigned it off that it was just because of how much you saw each other. She became part of your routine, that you couldn’t remember the time when she wasn’t.

Your attachment clearly was more because you developed feelings, actual feelings that weren’t revolving around lust. So yeah, you like Rosie, hell, you may even be in love with her at this point, but you lost your shot.

And there probably won’t ever be another.

You groan, slamming your hand on the table loud enough that it jolts the girls next to you.

“Oppa, what the fuck?” Jennie asks, concerned with your sudden outburst.

“I gotta go,” Your voice cracks, walking away before you break down completely.

“Wait!” Lisa yells after you, spurring you to move quicker through the crowd.

You turn your head before you exit, but you can’t pinpoint their face in the sea of people. You let out a sigh of relief, knowing you lost them, before the thought of Rosie seeps back into your mind.

You need something—anything—to get your thoughts and feelings off of her. An idea quickly comes to you, one that you regret having, but it’s your only option.

You pull your phone out, scrolling through your contact list before hitting call.

The line rings once before a concerned voice answers.

“Book me a flight to Osaka.”

It’s been two weeks since you received a message that shattered you.

It’s also been two weeks since you left for Osaka abruptly, deciding to join your parents to meet with the Nakamuras for another business formality.

Your parents were surprised that you wanted to join, especially since the last discussion you had with your father had your mother having to step in between before either of you slammed the other into the wall. Your father was excited the moment you showed up at your childhood home straight after the club while your mother looked concerned. She asked if everything was alright, but you brushed her off, not wanting to get into it with her.

Regardless, they were still happy you joined them. Your father more so as he made the off comment that it would be good to spend some time with Kazuha.

Which you did, and with Satoshi.

You gave Kazuha the heads up that you’d be arriving with your parents. She was another person surprised, but she welcomed you nonetheless. You also met her boyfriend, who you quickly became close to, much to Kazuha’s dismay. She’d tell anyone that she was the third wheel by how much you and Satoshi spoke.

It was only meant to be a weeklong trip, but Kazuha and Satoshi invited you to stay for their school break, to visit Tokyo and Hiroshima. You jumped at the opportunity. Anything that kept you away from seeing Rosie and Soohyun holding hands on campus was what you wanted.

Satoshi brought his younger sister along too, Kasumi. You thought she was a bit of a hothead, but she was pretty and you were in another country trying to get over someone.

When it came down to actually hooking up, you couldn’t. Your body physically shut down from anything you two alluded to. Making out had no effect on you. Her rubbing her hand over your crotch felt nice, but not enough for you to get hard. You felt bad, but you explained that you just couldn’t because you weren’t in the right headspace for it. You were so caught up in your feelings with Rosie that you couldn’t perform, no matter how much Kasumi was interested.

She understood, chuckling because she figured there was someone else, but she thought you were cute so she wanted to at least try. There weren’t any hard feelings, leaving Japan with two great friends. And Kazuha too, you guess.

You hear your mother call your name out from across the aisle, motioning for you to sit next to her as the plane starts its descent.

“How are you doing?” Your mother asks once you buckle your seatbelt.

“I’m fine,” An automated response whenever either of your parents ask, but the difference between them is that your mother has a tendency to prod.

“How was Tokyo?”

“It was fun. Kazuha and Satoshi took me around,” You answer vaguely, knowing that if you shared actual details about what you did, she would have a heart attack.

“That’s great,” Your mother nods, smiling. “How’s Chaeyoung?”

You freeze. You knew your mothers spoke often, but she had rarely ever asked you about her.

“I saw Alice a few weeks ago as I was coming home. She mentioned you and Chaeyoung had been spending some time together,” Your mother continues, noticing your sudden apprehension.

Oh.

That’s news to you because you didn’t think Rosie mentioned you to Alice of all people. The siblings were close, like really close, so if she talked about you, it probably meant something. But you were trying to get over her, and thinking about what it could mean would drive you crazy.

“Oh, uh, Rosie’s doing well. I think she’s going abroad for her internship this summer, she just has to decide where she wants to go,” You say. Rosie had been bouncing ideas off you since she heard back. You were there when she received a couple emails, watching her shock and excitement paint her face. She nearly ripped your clothes off when she got accepted into the one she really wanted.

“Fashion right? Chaeyoung always had an eye for that,” Your mother answers pensively.

You’re inclined to say something else, but another question is thrown your way before you could.

“Are you two dating?”

“Mother,” You roll your eyes.

“That’s not a no,” She quips, chuckling at your expense. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me. You’ve always been fond of her ever since you were kids. We, her mother and I, have talked about it before.”

“What’re you even talking about?” You sigh, shaking your head. This conversation has taken a turn for the worse. You thought your mother wanted you to marry Kazuha, but apparently, she has been talking to Rosie’s mother about you two for years.

“You don’t remember? You used to come home frustrated with Rosie, whining and grumbling about why she wouldn’t talk to you,” Her words unlock a box you kept hidden away. “It wasn’t until you hit high school where you pretty much gave up trying to be her friend. Even at that point, Rosie would talk to you, or maybe more antagonize you is a better description. You were beaming after those weekly dinners with the Parks.”

You didn’t comment as thoughts and feelings rushed to the surface.

“Regardless, we thought you two would date at some point,” Your mother shrugged as if what she just said had no impact on you.

Your mother doesn’t say anything else, opening one of her latest novels, signaling that the conversation is over.

It really didn’t matter how you felt before, but then why does it feel like it’s making it a hundred times harder to get over her?

You drop your duffel bag on the floor, kicking the door shut, as you’re finally home after two weeks. You plop your body on the couch, yawning from the flight. You have to go to campus tomorrow, which you weren’t entirely excited about. The chances of you seeing her were high, but you didn’t know what she was going to do.

You’ve been avoiding all messages she sent you, which were a lot. She called you too, leaving a few voicemails that you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to. Kazuha caught you staring at your phone one night and made you promise not to open any messages that could derail your trip. It didn’t help Satoshi agreed, saying that it would be like a reset.

You decide that now was the time to check them.

Where are you?

Can you answer the phone?

I’m coming over.

I’m outside, can you open the door?

Fuck it, I know your code.

Where the hell are you?

Did you go to Osaka?

All those messages were from the day after Soohyun asked her to be his girlfriend. You saw she texted you everyday for a week asking if you could call her, but her last message broke you.

I can only assume you went to Osaka. I hope everything’s okay.

It takes everything in you to not reply now. If you do, you’d just be an asshole to her for no contact for two weeks. You’re an asshole either way, but it would rub salt in the wound.

You check your other messages and see a few from Jennie, who rightfully curses you out for being a dick and to just respond so Rosie knows you're alive. Lisa sent one too, asking you where you are, but no threats. Jisoo’s message made you chuckle, a simple reply to her or else, was clear enough.

You sigh, locking your phone and tossing it on the coffee table.

You’ll deal with everything tomorrow.

The first person that approaches you on campus is Jennie. She shoves you, letting her when you know you could overpower her.

“You’re a fucking ass,” Jennie pushes you again, enough force to lose your balance.

“What did I do?” You stupidly ask, avoiding her piercing gaze.

“You know what the hell you did, you better fucking talk to her,” Jennie says firmly, poking your shoulder.

“If I see her,” You mumble, rubbing the spot.

“You better,” You wait for her to say more, but the sound of her walking away brings your gaze to her retreating figure.

Sighing as this isn’t how you want to start your day, you decide to be early for class.

The universe doesn’t even want you to be early because Nayeon stops you along the way.

“Hey I need a favor,” Nayeon asks, standing in front of you.

“What?” You didn’t mean to sound irritated, but blame Jennie.

“Can you do this photoshoot for Mina and Sana? Their original photographer flaked, and they’re out of options,” Nayeon explains and you know she’s telling the truth.

“Why me?”

“I suggested you. I remember you taking photographs,” Nayeon smiles softly. “It’s a project that’s worth half their grade and their professor wants quality pictures.”

“What class is it for?” You prod, adding, “I’ve never done a modeling kind of shoot.”

“Their visual concepts class, I think. I don’t know. All I know is that they texted the group chat, stressing out,” Nayeon explains, shrugging since she was a film major.

“Fine,” Nayeon claps happily, “Are you going to be there?” You had to ask, needing the time to mentally prepare yourself to spend, most likely, the whole day with her.

“What? No,” Nayeon shakes her head. “I’ll be in Busan this weekend. Why did you want to hang out with me?” She wiggles her eyebrows.

“Absolutely not,” You say firmly and her shoulders drop.

“Fine whatever,” Nayeon huffs, hiking her bag on her shoulder. “Anyways, I’ll text you the details about it later. It’s tomorrow. I don’t think you need to bring anything, but bring your camera stuff just in case.”

You nod, thinking about your schedule for tomorrow, which thankfully nothing was planned.

“Oh,” Nayeon turns her head, adding one last detail before walking away, “Chaeyoung will be there too. She’s styling them.”

Nayeon doesn’t wait for you to reply, leaving you speechless and even more irritated.

Fucker.

“Let’s take a break,” You announce after checking the shots you just took, satisfied with the outcome. “Fifteen?”

“Oh thank god,” Sana sinks to the ground as Mina chuckles next to her. “If we weren’t desperate, I wouldn’t have said yes.”

“Be thankful I care about this, or your project would be shit,” You answer, flicking through the pictures and thinking of how to change the lighting.

“Thanks again for doing this, oppa,” Mina squeezes your arm before walking off to sit with Momo.

You grumble a reply, turning without even thinking, and you accidentally bump into someone.

“Shit sorry,” You look up to see Rosie five seconds away from losing the grip on the clothes she’s carrying. You immediately drop the camera against your chest, reaching for the items and taking it out of her hands.

“It’s fine,” Rosie grabs the clothes back without another word, walking towards Mina.

You sigh, shaking your head, trying not to lose focus on why you’re here.

When you arrived this morning at one of the parks at the Han River, most of the crew was already present, setting up. You greeted everyone before seeing Rosie with Dahyun, discussing the outfits and concepts.

“Hey good morning,” You greeted softly as you stood in front of them.

Dahyun gave you a bright smile while Rosie forced hers, the smile not quite reaching her eyes.

“Morning oppa!” Dahyun was as cheerful as ever at eight in the morning on a Saturday. “You could use the school’s equipment if you want,” She nods towards the table with the camera and lenses, “But feel free to use yours, whichever you feel comfortable with.”

Another woman walked up to Dahyun, asking her to come with her to make sure they were correctly set up. Dahyun excused herself, leaving you alone with Rosie.

“Chaeng—”

“Now you want to talk?” Rosie’s words cut sharply. “I don’t have anything to say to you right now, can we just get through today?”

“Okay,” Was all you could say, nodding. You knew she had a lot to say, but neither of you could exactly hash it out with all these people around.

“Okay,” Rosie nodded, grabbing whatever was near her, and walked away.

Once Sana and Mina arrived, you quickly switched gears. You pushed whatever thoughts and feelings you had for Rosie aside, and went straight into work mode.

You had zero experience taking photographs like this. Sure you’ve taken photos of your friends, and Nayeon would force you to take pictures of her whenever you went out. The last person you took a photo of was Rosie when you walked through the streets of Myeongdong a few weeks back.

That was about as close as you got to taking pictures of people, but working like this was exhilarating.

You and Rosie worked well together too. It made you a lot more comfortable with directing with how seamlessly it went. You asked her opinion on what lighting should be used and she gave feedback that had the shots coming out great. Other than suggestions, your conversations had been minimal.

“You know,” Sana joins you in the empty seat next to you as you sift through the photos on the laptop, “You’re an asshole right?”

“Okay what the fuck,” You break your attention away from the screen to a smirk on Sana’s face.

“Chaeyoung-ah talks to us, and she sort of filled us in about this guy, who wasn’t Soohyun, that she had been seeing,” Sana sinks into the chair, glancing at the picture of her and Mina on the screen. “It wasn’t really hard to put two and two together about who she was referring to, and Nayeon confirmed something was going on between you.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” You brush the woman off, rolling your eyes as you delete one of the blurry shots.

“Sure you don’t,” Sana chuckles, “But regardless of whatever was going on between you two, you should know—if you don’t already—Rosie didn’t say yes to Soohyun when he asked her out.”

You don’t let her words faze you as you continue to delete shots you don’t deem worthy.

“One could only wonder right?” Sana goes on, oblivious to your inner turmoil. “Soohyun’s a good-looking guy, nice enough, and spent a fair amount of time courting her, just for him to be rejected.”

“What are you getting at Sana?” You stop what you were doing, turning to face her.

“Just wanted to figure out why Rosie said no,” Sana shrugs as Dahyun passes by, informing her that it’s time for the next outfit change. “Anyways, Rosie wouldn’t say, but it’s obvious why.”

“And why is that?” You take the bait, preparing yourself for whatever’s going to come out of Sana’s mouth next.

“Because of you,” Sana stands, letting out a small yawn. “Anyways, let’s get this over with. I’m ready to drink. Don’t be a dick.”

You aren’t sure if Sana was referring to herself or to Rosie, and you couldn’t ask since she left to go change into the next outfit.

The rest of the photo shoot goes without a hitch. You tried your best to not let the conversation with Sana bleed into your work, and you hoped no one noticed. It was slightly harder than it was already to work with Rosie, but you maintained some sense of professionalism.

There was a minor issue with the zipper breaking on Sana’s dress, but Rosie was quick to fix the problem by throwing a blazer over her. Other than that, everything went well. You thanked everyone for their help today, realizing it was a long day, which everyone was happy to hit the bar once everything was packed up.

You offered to edit the pictures for them, since you didn’t exactly want to go out. Mina said you didn’t have to, but you were adamant about it. Sana shrugged, indifferent if you joined or not.

You see Rosie talking to Momo and swallow your pride as you make your way to them.

“Come on Chaeng,” You catch Momo say as you get closer. “It’ll be fun!”

“I don’t think so Momo,” Rosie shakes her head. “I just want to stay in tonight.”

“One drink?” Momo begs as you stand next to the women.

“Sorry Momo,” Rosie smiles, eyes falling on you before her smile slowly fades.

“Oppa, convince her to go,” Momo pouts.

“I’m with her on this one Momo,” She frowns, shaking her head, muttering something in Japanese that makes you laugh. “I understand, you know that right?”

Momo’s eyes widened, cheeks starting to turn red before walking away.

Once Momo’s a good distance away, you turn to Rosie, a sad smile forming on your face as she looks everywhere but at you.

“Can we talk?” You ask quietly.

“So talk,” Rosie crosses her arms.

“Like in private? Please.”

Rosie relents, sighing. “Let’s just finish with cleaning up and we can go for a walk okay?”

“Okay,” You nod, grateful that she’s giving you the time of day.

You have to be honest with her, and if she rejects you completely, at least you can say you tried.

—

Rosie shivers next to you, the chill of the sunset creeping in. You shrug your coat off, wrapping it around her shoulders.

“Thanks,” Rosie mumbles out as you continue walking along the river.

There are a few people out as well, mostly couples huddled together. It almost makes you want to wrap an arm around her to keep her warm. You won’t though because it’s awkward.

Rosie walks into the convenience store without saying anything, which you follow her into. She grabs an instant coffee before turning to you, asking if you wanted anything. You shake your head, even though the bottle of soju behind the glass screams your name.

When she goes to pay, you quickly swipe your card before she could say no. She scoffs, shaking her head, as she walks out. You follow her, keeping a small distance as you watch her take small sips with every step. She stops, leaning on the railing, and stares out to the river.

Naturally you join her, letting the background noise fill the silence.

After a few minutes, Rosie says, “You wanted to talk, so go ahead.”

“First off, I’m sorry,” You say quietly. You apologize for not replying, and most likely worrying her. You explain that going to Osaka was an impulsive choice, but that doesn’t excuse your behavior.

“Well why? Did I do something?” Rosie turns to face you, lip quivering. You notice her eyes suddenly glossy, and it pangs you to see her like this.

“No, no,” You shake your head firmly, closing your eyes as you choose your next words carefully. “When I got that text about Soohyun, I finally accepted something.”

“What?”

You slowly open your eyes, staring at her features, completely enamored by her. Like you always have been.

“I’m in love with you,” You admit for the first time out loud, and you’re happy it��s to her.

Rosie’s eyes widen, gaze looking away as her whole body shifts to face the water again.

“You’re an asshole, you know that right?” Rosie says quietly. “And an idiot.” She adds, huffing.

Not the response you were expecting, but before you could ask what she means, she tells you anyway.

“I’ve spent mostly every day with you for the past month, then we have a really intense night of sex where you fucking claimed me,” You wince at her words, “Then you just leave for two weeks without any contact to come back and say you’re in love with me because of a text of someone asking me out?”

“Well when you put—”

“I’m not finished,” Rosie huffs, facing you once again. “I’m in love with you, too dumbass. After that last night, I realized that as much as you piss me off, as much as you’re so fucking stubborn, that the idea of being yours felt real. I couldn’t say yes to Soohyun when I unknowingly said yes to you.”

“You want to be with me?” You stare at her, dumbfounded.

“If that wasn’t clear enough, yes,” Rosie rolls her eyes. “We’ve basically already been dating, so if you’d just stop running away after and just talk to—whoa,” She gasps when your arm snakes around her waist, pulling her into you, tilting her head up.

“Say it,” You ghost your lips against hers, moving as she misses.

“See, stubborn,” There’s a sharp inhale when you kiss her sweetly.

“Say it,” You mumble, dipping your tongue in as she lets out a moan.

“Yours,” Rosie wraps her arms around your neck, melting into you as the kiss deepens.

“I love you,” You detach your lips, resting your forehead against hers.

“I love you too,” Tracing her fingers along your neck, “Even though you’ve been a jerk these past two weeks. How are you going to make it up to me?”

“I can think of a few ways.”

Rosie slams the door behind you, wincing at the frames rattling against the wall. She kicks her shoes off aggressively, barely sparing you a glance as she walks to your room. That door also slams.

She’s pissed.

Maybe it was your fault. Okay so it was your fault, but you didn’t mean for it to happen.

You met up with a few of your friends to celebrate the end of exams and the school year. It was also a small farewell to you and Rosie as you were going to Paris together for the summer. Rosie took the internship at YSL and she was able to get you one too after she sneakily sent over the portfolio from the project.

Your parents didn’t mind, figuring it would be good for you to take this time before you graduate into the real world. They were supportive that if you decided to do it for real, they’d be more than okay with it. That surprised you, but you couldn’t complain. Though the teasing from your mother was enough.

You were at the bar, waiting to get your order when Ryujin sat in your lap. You couldn’t do anything as her weight pressed you down.

“What the hell Ryujin?” You try to get her off you.

“Oppa, come on. When are you going to ditch Chaeyoung and get back to bed with me?” Ryujin grounds her hips over your crotch, stealing a moan from you as the movement catches you off guard.

“I’m not going to,” You grit out as she repeats the movement.

“What the fuck?” You hear Rosie’s voice behind you, gathering the strength to push the woman off your lap.

“I can explain!” You turn to face her, hands up.

“Come on Chaeyoung, share him,” Ryujin trails a finger up your chest. “I miss him.”

“Oh you fucking—” You step out of Ryujin’s hold, lungeing for your girlfriend before she mauls the other woman.

“Let’s go,” You nearly carry Rosie out as she squirms against your hold. A few people stare as you walk by, but she was about five seconds away from causing a bigger scene, that you couldn’t care less.

Once you got outside, Rosie ripped into you. She called you every name in the book for doing that. When you explained that you were pushing her off, she called you an idiot for even allowing it. You had no response, knowing it was a lost cause.

Officially dating Rosie for the past few months, you learned a lot, especially the type of girlfriend she was. She’s more affectionate, tender, soft when it’s just you or with her closest friends. She does a lot for you without even realizing you need help. She acts indifferent to the public about things, but tells you how she feels and what she thinks in private. She shows you in more ways than one just how much she loves you.

But she’s still the same too.

She still argues with you over anything and everything. She mouths off whenever she doesn’t get her way (you give in anyways). She relentlessly teases you any chance she gets.

She’s also very possessive of you. She hates when any girls glance your way. She especially despises any of your past flings (except Jennie) as they boldly ask you to hook up with her right there. She can’t stand it when you say she’s jealous because she’s not. But her use of mine is repeated multiple times as she fucks you to remind you who you belonged to, like you could forget.

She’s still the biggest pain in your ass, but you love her anyway.

You open your room door, surprised to see Rosie already changed for bed. She’s adorable dressed in your clothes, the size just a tad too big on her body. You quietly close the door, ignoring her movements as you grab clothes from the dresser.

When you join her in bed, sliding under the covers, you lay on your side, staring at her scroll through her phone.

“Chaeng,” You pout as she continues scrolling. “Come on, you know I didn’t do anything.”

“Why’d you let her sit on your lap then?” Rosie says sarcastically.

“I didn’t. She just sat there,” You reason, rolling your eyes at her pettiness.

“Cause you just keep your lap available for anyone to sit on?”

“Jesus christ, you know I don’t. You’re acting like a brat,” You huff, rolling onto your back.

“I’m acting like a brat?” Rosie raises her voice, her phone tossed on the nightstand. She hovers over you, eyes narrowing, “I’m not the one letting girls openly sit on my lap when I’m clearly in a relationship.”

“Believe me, everyone knows that I am,” You glare, deciding right then and there you’re going to taunt her. “Not my fault my dick’s just that good they miss me.”

“You’re fucking unbelievable,” Rosie scoffs, “It’s not even that good.”

“What do you have to compare it to? You’ve only slept with me and clearly aren’t going after anyone else’s dick,” It’s a low blow, but she’s starting to piss you off.

In a flurry of movements, Rosie swings her leg over you, cupping your chin rather aggressively before whispering, “Did you want me to? I’m sure there’s still a line of guys dying to get inside of me.”

Your temper flares, hands gripping her waist before flipping her over.

Now if Rosie’s possessive of you, naturally you’re possessive of her. Probably worse.

You find your hands underneath your shirt, and she shivers at your touch.

“Is that a no?” Rosie moans when you pinch her nipples.

You remove your hands, reaching for the hem of your shirt before throwing it somewhere off to the side. You rip the shirt off her body before slotting yourself in between her legs, pressing most of your weight on top of her.

“I guess I have to ask,” You start peppering her jaw with kisses, “Do you want to be disappointed?”

Rosie moans as you gently suck on her sweet spot, smirking against her skin as her hips roll against your crotch. Your cock twitches, but you don’t let your control slip that easily.

“How-how would I be disappointed?” Rosie tilts her head back, granting you more access as you continue leaving marks along her neck.

“You’d be comparing them to me,” You thrust against her, just so she could feel what she’s doing to you.

“Doubtful,” Rosie’s hand slips underneath your waistband, taking hold of your cock as she strokes you.

“I know you would,” You whisper against her ear, “You wouldn’t cum, I know that for sure.”

“What makes you so confident?” Her grip tightens, a groan falling from your lips.

“Maybe cause you’re mine,” You nip at her ear, grounding your hips against hers. Her legs wrap around your waist, an all too familiar move that has you rutting into her, mimicking exactly what you were going to do to her.

“Yours?”

“Mine,” You tear the shirt over her head, whimpering at her hand leaving you. You tug her shorts down to see her bare pussy, wet and glistening under the low light of your room. You salivate, but tuck those thoughts away for later because you need to get inside her more than anything right now.

“Better remind me,” Rosie sighs, breath stuttering, as she stares at the obvious bulge in between her legs. “I could probably walk outside and someone would wanna fuck me.”

Your control snaps, shoving your sweats to free your cock. You miss the gasp falling from her lips, but you hone in as you aim your cock at her entrance.

“Absolutely not,” You snap your hips forward, giving her no time to adjust to the ruthless pace you set on her body. “Only I could do this.”

You spread her legs wider, watching her eyes roll back. Her hips meet every thrust, taking you just like she knows how to. Her long drawn out moans quickly turn into high pitched screams that ring in your ears.

“Baby,” Rosie brings one hand in between her legs, furiously rubbing her clit as her walls clamp onto your length. “You fuck me so—fuck.”

Your earlier irritation bleeds away, suddenly feeling the need to make sure Rosie doesn’t forget exactly who makes her feel this good.

You fill her to the hilt, groaning into the crook of her neck as her pussy contracts around your cock.

“Baby,” Rosie pants, chest heaving against yours as she tries to move. Your hips have her pinned against the bed, so it’s futile as she writhes underneath you. “Don’t stop, please.” She breathes out, her hand still moving in between you, creating a delicious friction.

You want her to beg, but with the way she’s squeezing your cock like her life depended on it has you giving in

“Tell me.”

“Yours-please, please,” Rosie shakes her head, the pressure in between her legs growing.

“Mine?” You draw your hips back, leaving the head of your cock in.

“Fuck, yours,” Rosie screams when you slam into her body, hooking her legs over your shoulders as you resume fucking her with everything you’ve got.

You’re usually not this rough, but a more primal, baser, need takes over. She yelled at you for something that was completely out of your control. Could you have handled it differently? Sure, but she could have handled it differently too.

You’ve spent enough time with Rosie to know she acts like this to rile you up. You honestly have no problem putting her in her place, especially if it’s in between her legs.

Rosie’s orgasm rips through her body, back arching suddenly as her hands hold you close. Her nails dig into your skin, nails scratching down your back, which you know will leave marks.

“Again,” You command, fucking her thoroughly as her pussy spasms around your cock.

Rosie’s mouth opens, but no sound comes out as her lips form a perfect ‘O’ before a gush of wetness drenches you.

You pull out quickly, deciding that she doesn’t get to feel you cum inside her—at least right now. It takes you no more than four pumps of your cock before you explode over her body. You aim in between her lower lips, making a bigger mess of her as your mind shuts off.

You’re both gasping for air, but your eyes fixate on the rise and fall of Rosie’s chest. Moving on impulse alone, you lower yourself, peppering her chest with your lips. One hand lazily drapes over your neck, scratching softly as quiet moans leave her body.

“Okay,” Rosie mumbles after a couple minutes, gently tugging you off. “You made your point. I don’t want anyone else to fuck me.”

“Good,” You roll off of her, but quickly pull her body into yours.

“No one else can fuck you either,” Rosie musters out as threatening as possible. It falls short because she’s still trying to catch her breath, exhausted.

“I know,” You kiss her temple. “Only want you anyways.”

“Good,” She snuggles into your side, slotting a leg in between yours.

You offer to clean up, but she pulls you tighter, telling you five more minutes. You chuckle, knowing her body well enough that she’s going to pass out.

“Love you,” You murmur, lips on her skin again because you couldn’t get enough of her.

“I love you,” Rosie sighs dreamily.

You hear light snores after a minute, eyes rolling fondly. You sink into the embrace, closing your eyes as well.

You’ll clean later, content with the woman in your arms, who will—if you had to bet—want to go again.

#blackpink smut #blackpink rose #blackpink park chaeyoung #rosie smut #park chaeyoung smut #park chaeyoung

750 notes · View notes

mountttmase · 3 months

Text

Like Magnets

Note - please read this if you haven’t already before reading 🩷 this fic won’t be for everyone so I just want to prepare you. Feedback would be lovely and I hope you enjoy this 🥰 I know it’s insanely long but I was trying something 😂

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 18.7k

Warnings - angst, fluff and smut

Two objects containing charge with the same direction of motion have a magnetic attraction force between them. Each magnet has a north and South Pole and opposite poles are attracted to each other.

You wondered if this was why you felt so drawn to Mason. He was the north to your south and as soon as you caught sight of him you’d felt taken in by him. Stuck together like magnets from early on as you wondered where have you been all my life from the first moment you spoke and always finding yourself drawn back to each other.

To say you’d never been on a dating app would be a lie, you just didn’t like admitting it to people. It made you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable even though practically everyone did it but the years of your mum warning you about stranger danger made you want to keep it to yourself. Whenever she asked how you met the man you’d been on a date with you’d conjure up some lavish story of how your eyes met over a dimly lit coffee shop and you knew you had to speak to him. Rather than the truth of him sliding into your dm’s with some corny joke and the need for physical interaction and intimacy outweighed the logical part of your brain.

You weren’t looking for a relationship, content with how your life was right now but that didn’t mean you didn’t like talking to boys. There was a part of you sometimes that wanted to just flirt for a bit, to make someone feel good and have them make you feel good in return yet most conversations you’d had on the app lately had been dry and boring. You were desperate tonight though, quickly updating your profile and adding a few new pictures before you got to swiping.

Mason stood out to you straight away.

He had a mix of goofy and sweet pictures that let you know he didn’t take himself too seriously but he was attractive and seemed fun so you swiped right without a second thought before another screen flashed up instantly.

That fact he’d already liked you first made you smile and the itch to talk to him was stronger than it had been with anyone else so you quickly tapped send a message. Thinking you’d stand out and put a bit of the hard work in first but to your surprise he’d got there before you. A message flashing up as you were halfway through writing your own.

No boring hi, how are you? x or a crude comment about the shape of your body and you warmed to him straight away even if his lines could use some work.

His words made you blush and you could tell how cheeky he was through the screen. The fact he didn’t seem to be taking anything too seriously too made you feel even more comfortable and you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face as you got settled into your sofa.

You spoke for a couple of hours, flirting back and forth lightly before you decided to take the plunge and send him a big compliment. Letting him know he had really pretty eyes and this in turn seemed to give him a confidence boost to start complimenting you more. Telling you how pretty you looked and how he thought you might be trouble yet his words just excited you.

You spoke about what you wanted, both not looking for a relationship as such, just a little bit of fun for now and you felt like you’d hit the jackpot for fun with Mason. You didn’t stop laughing as you texted back and forth and you knew he was different from anyone else you’d spoken to.

You’d never clicked with someone so quickly like this before. Not wanting to shut the app down in case you missed a message but they were flying back and forth so quickly you didn’t have a chance to do anything else until you told him you were off to take a quick shower and the cheeky emojis he sent you made your cheeks flush.

You were as quick as you could be, jumping back on the app so you could let him know you were back in hope that he hadn’t gone to sleep yet but his next messages made your chest tighten with nerves.

You thought he could tell you were nervous, quickly pulling on your pj’s and getting into bed but your heart was pounding. You’d never called a boy this quickly before, usually giving it at least a week before you gave your number out let alone a phone call but the need to hear what he sounded like outweighed everything

In the end you sucked it up, adding him to your contacts before pressing the call button and it only rung once before he picked up.

‘Hello?’

It was like time stopped. His voice causing goosebumps to rise all over your skin as your breath caught in your throat and your mind went blank. God he sounds sexy you thought. Knowing you had to say something back but the sound of his voice was intimidating.

‘H-hi, Mason. it’s y/n’

‘Ah, hello trouble’ he laughed, making you breathless in an instant and you wondered how you’d be able to get through the call without exploding. ‘Wasn’t too sure I’d hear from you. Thought I’d scared you off’

‘Yeah I um- s-sorry im just a bit nervous’ you chuckled laying flat down on your bed and even though you were alone you felt like you had to be quiet. Like you were speaking to someone you shouldn’t be but the excitement thrilled you.

‘I can tell’ he laughed, but you knew he wasn’t making fun of you. ‘There’s no need to be though, you can trust me I promise’

‘I know’ you whispered, thinking you didn’t know him enough to trust him but something deep down made you feel like you could.

‘Good’ he laughed before diving into asking you a million questions about yourself. Your favourite food, favourite drink, favourite colour, favourite trip you’d ever been on and the more you talked the more you laughed until your cheeks ached.

‘It’s nice to hear your voice’ he whispered as he was waiting for your giggles to quieten down and his confession made your face burn.

‘You too’ you smiled, your skin flushing as the pair of you spoke and you had to stop yourself from curling into a ball and giggling in excitement.

You spoke for hours, letting him in on things you’d never told anyone and even though he was just a voice on the phone, it felt intimate and like he was right there next to you. Spilling all his secrets to you himself and you’d never felt closer to anyone.

You wondered if the dynamic would have changed too much, going from texting where you could half think about what you were saying to speaking directly and being too nervous to say anything remotely interesting but it felt the same and he was just as funny as his texts.

‘I can’t believe it’s 2am’ he laughed. ‘We’ve been on the phone for hours and I don’t wanna hang up’ he confessed and the sound of his laughter was like music to your ears.

‘Neither do I’

‘So same time tomorrow then yeah?’ He laughed, and even though you were tempted you knew you couldn’t.

‘I wish, I’m actually going out with my girlfriends tomorrow’ you told him but already you felt like ditching them for a night on the phone with him.

‘Anywhere exciting?’ He asked, unsure if you should tell him where you were going but you felt so free talking to him that the words came tumbling out of your mouth before you could stop them.

‘That club in town. Luna I think it’s called?’

‘Oh I know the one’

‘Yeah I’m not usually one for going out to places like that so it’s my yearly trip’ you laughed, hearing him chuckle on the other end.

‘Well I won’t keep you up much longer. Thank you for calling, I know it was a bit forward. Truth is, I’ve never wanted to hear someone’s voice so badly before’ he told you lowly and you felt your whole body tingle. He was making you feel special and you were loving every second of it.

‘Well I hope it lives up to your expectations’

‘Oh and then some’ He laughed. ‘You’re proper sexy you know that?’

‘Oh stop it’ you laughed, face flushing as you tried to hide it in your pillow. His laugh ringing in your ears and all you could think about was wanting to see that pretty smile of his in person.

‘Nah nah, im serious. Proper sexy teachers voice’ he told you, knowing the effect he was having on you but he just kept going.

‘Mason I swear to god-‘

‘Ohh Is someone getting a little flustered?’ He laughed ‘You wait till I see you in person I’m gonna tease the life out of you’

‘You wanna see me in person?’ You questioned. The same nervousness that was present when you first called him earlier now back at the thought of seeing him.

‘Of course I do, I’d be mental not to’ he laughed, and you felt dumb for even questioning him at this point. ‘You’re gorgeous and funny like what’s not to like?’

‘Unless I’m a catfish’ you joked, trying to deflect slightly but he wasn’t having any of it. Practically feeling his smile trickle through the phone.

‘All the more reason to see you and put those rumours to bed then, so to speak’ he teased as you gasped quietly, catching onto the double meaning in his words.

You didn’t want to stop talking but soon enough the pair of you were yawning your heads off and you had to say goodbye. Going to bed with a massive smile on your face even if you did miss him as soon as the call ended.

The next morning you woke up to a cute good morning text from Mason. Reminding you that last night wasn’t a dream and Mason was real and gorgeous and as funny as ever. Spending all day texting and flirting until you thought you’d get in trouble for being on your phone too much at work but soon enough you were at dinner with your friends before your big night out.

You all caught up about what you’d been up to lately, making sure you left out the last 24 hours as you were unsure about what they would say but thankfully you were able to keep it under wraps until you were in the queue for the club.

‘Are you alright?’ Your best friend Rose asked, looking at you with a slight smile. ‘You’ve got the weirdest look on your face’

‘What do you mean?’ You laughed, stuffing your phone into your pocket before looking up at the three of them.

‘I don't know, like, nervous almost. You’ve got your little scary smirk on’ Rose laughed and you rolled your eyes at her words. For some reason whenever you were nervous or scared your instincts made you want to laugh so it was no wonder you couldn’t keep the smile off your face knowing Mason was so close by.

‘Look if I tell you, I need you to be cool about it yeah?’ You told the three of them. Pulling them all further into you a little bit so hopefully no one else could hear before swallowing down a gulp and spilling your guts. ‘I matched with a guy on that app and he’s just text me saying he’s here’

‘God y/n, I thought it was something serious then’ Kimmy laughed, as the others shook their heads with a smile.

‘No you don’t get it, we matched yesterday’ you confessed, watching their eyes go wide and you knew then you couldn’t tell them you’d already spoken to him on the phone.

‘Oh wait, is he some sort of weird stalker? Do you wanna go?’ Sam asked as they all looked to move but you were quick to stop them.

‘No no’ you laughed, grabbing her wrist. ‘He’s not a stalker, I don’t think he is at least anyway and I know I sound insane cause I’ve known him 24 hours but we really connected and I’m just a bit nervous to maybe see him’

‘Is he cute?’ Rose asked, eyebrows wiggling in your direction but you just bit your lip and nodded.

‘Well let’s get you inside as quick as we can, I’m making it my mission to get you some tonight’ she told you and you rolled your eyes at her playfully. Thankful they weren’t making too much of a big deal out of it.

You weren’t in the queue much longer, getting yourself in and over to the bar as quickly as you could so you could get some drinks down you but no matter what you drunk your nerves seemed to make the alcohol not work and you felt the same as usual.

You gave it an hour in the end, knowing it would be best to just see him and get it over with so you grabbed your phone and texted him, thinking he wouldn’t see it for a while but to your surprise he text you back straight away.

As soon as you sent the last text you tummy dropped. A sick and nervous feeling settling into your skin as you shakily got up from your table and made your way to the bar. The girls letting you know they were keeping their eye on you and to just wave at them if you didn’t feel safe.

Thankfully there was a seat right at the end of the bar, your legs not being able to hold you steady as the nerves fully kicked in. The drinks and shots you’d been downing for courage may as of well have just been water as you felt stone cold sober. Heart pounding in your ears as your breathing began to speed up so you kept your fingers tapping on the bar, your head facing forwards so you didn’t accidentally catch a glimpse of him and be tempted to run.

It felt like he was taking a lifetime, wondering if he’d walked in, saw you and turned around as he hadn’t liked what he’d seen but just as you were about to look over to your girls you felt a hand on your lower back and Mason's voice by your ear.

‘Y/n?’

In a flash your eyes were looking up and into his. Even in the dark lighting you wanted to drown in them and all you could think about was the fact his pictures didn’t do him justice.

He was quite possibly the prettiest man you’d ever seen in your life. The fluorescent lights of the club accented the freckles across his perfect nose and his lips looked plump and kissable. You knew you needed to speak but he’d left you speechless so you snapped yourself out of it so you could try and speak to him properly.

‘H-hi Mason’ you stuttered, finally getting to see his smile in person and you thought you might melt on the spot. The twinkle in his eye making your tummy flip and you weren’t sure if it were possible to be around him for too long as he was so overwhelming.

‘Hey, you alright?’

‘Yeah, you?’ You asked, watching his smile grow as he caught onto how nervous you were.

‘Better now’ he winked, his face getting closer to yours so he could hear you a bit better. ‘It’s kinda loud down here. I’m upstairs, do you wanna join me?’ He asked, his eyes flickering over your body before coming back up to look at your face.

‘I’ve never been upstairs before’ you told him, realising how stupid you must have sounded but upstairs was vip and almost impossible to get into. ‘guess I need to get used to that with you though huh?’ You teased and you watched his cheeks flush ever so slightly in what looked like embarrassment.

‘Well we can change that if you want. You can grab your friends too, I don’t want it to look like I’m kidnapping you’ he laughed but you wouldn’t have minded if he had at this point. The fact he was constantly trying to make you comfortable warmed your heart too so without a second thought you sent him a nod. His smile making your heart flutter as you felt your own lips mirror it.

‘I’ll just get them, one sec’ you told him, walking off to get them and you knew his eyes were on your legs and bum in the tight dress you had on.

You gathered the girls quickly, telling them you were all going upstairs and you could read the excitement on their faces. Quickly following you back over to him where they all shared a quick hello before he led the way out.

‘Take my hand, so we don’t get separated’ he told you, linking your fingers together as soon as you gingerly placed your hand in his before he sent a wink in your direction and pulled you with him to the vip area.

The bouncer let you all through immediately, rounding the corner to a large staircase where he pulled you in next to him.

‘Ladies first’ he smiled, gesturing for the others to go up before you and once you were finally at the top you watched the three of them make their way straight to the dance floor leaving you and Mason alone again.

‘Can I get you a drink?’ He smiled, pulling you along to the bar and you nodded at him furiously, knowing you needed something to pep you up a bit.

‘Yes please, I think the alcohol downstairs is broken. I don't feel any different’ you told him. Hearing his laugh tickle your ears as a sense of pride washed through you knowing you’d made him laugh.

Once you got to the bar, you felt his arm snake around your body, pulling you into his side and once he saw you were comfortable with his proximity he pulled you in front of him, sandwiching you in between his front and the bar and soon enough you felt his hands settle on your hips.

‘Is this okay?’ He asked, lips right by your ear as he spoke and you knew you were turning redder by the second. In the end you just nodded as he squeezed your waist. ‘What would you like to drink, love?’

You were barely able to get out your order, his scent intoxicating you as he relayed your order to the waiter before you went and grabbed a seat together. Close enough to his friends so that he could point them out but not close enough that they could hear what you were saying. Sitting close enough to each other so that your thighs touched before he planted his hand on your knee making your mouth go dry instantly.

It was a little awkward for the first ten minutes or so, both of you blushing and stumbling your way though the conversation but the more you spoke, the closer you became. His arm now around your shoulder and his hand on your thigh as you giggled about how scared you both were to see each other for the first time but now you felt like you did on the phone last night. It felt intimate and like you were the only two in the room. Faces creeping closer and closer together until you could feel his breath on your cheek but it was his friends eyeing the pair of you up across the room that made you not want to push things any further.

‘Mason? Why do you friends keep looking at us weird?’ You asked, his eyes flicking over to them so they’d look away before he was looking back at you.

‘Just ignore them’ he told you, rolling his eyes as if he were annoyed at them before turning you to him a little more so you couldn’t see them as well.

‘I’m gonna go to the loo quickly’ you told him. Standing up and shuffling passed him so you could make your way to the bathroom and you felt his eyes on you the whole time. Chancing a quick look back at him to find him already looking at you and you couldn’t help but giggle as you walked away. Thankfully your makeup was still intact and your hair still looked good so you felt alright enough to go back out but when you made it back to your seat Mason was nowhere to be found.

He wasn’t far though. Stood next to his friend as they spoke intensely so you creeped over and stood behind the wall nearby so you could listen in but not let them see you. Eager to know what they were talking about.

‘Mate, can you stop looking at her like that? You’re making her feel uncomfortable’ Mason told him, his voice serious and you heard a huff come from the other boy before he spoke.

‘I’m sorry mate, but you know you shouldn’t be-‘

‘No, we’re not doing this’ Mason interrupted. Shutting down whatever his friend was about to say. ‘Look I know what I’m doing, just back off’ he told him and you weren’t sure you wanted to listen anymore so you wandered back over to the bar but not even two minutes later you felt his hands on your waist from behind. Pulling you back into his body before he nestled his face into your neck. ‘Hey, I’ve been looking for you’

‘You found me’ you smiled, but he could tell your voice seemed a little off so he pulled back, spinning you around to face him before stepping closer to you so you were trapped between him and the bar again only this time you were facing him.

‘Hey, what’s up?’ One hand on your lower back as the other tilted your face up to look at him. Even though you had practically been sat in his lap for the better part of an hour this was the closest you’d been all night. He was smiling at you softly and you couldn’t help but rest your cheek in his palm as his soft eyes captured yours. ‘Y/n? What is it?’

‘Your friend doesn’t like me, does he?’ You asked and you watched his face fall before you carried on. ‘Why shouldn’t you be talking to me?’

‘It’s not you, babe. He’s just a bit protective’ he told you. The pet name making you want to smile so you pursed your lips. He knew what you were doing straight away so he quickly pinched your cheek to make you laugh before wrapping his other arm around your waist so he could pull you closer to his body and the only thing you could do was rest your hands on his chest. ‘I think it’s cause we only started talking yesterday and he thinks I’m being a bit reckless’

‘It is a bit nuts when you say it like that’

‘I know’ he laughed, lips falling on your forehead so he could press a quick kiss there and you felt every hair on your skin stand up. ‘It's weird like, I feel like I know you already. You don’t feel like a stranger to me’

‘I feel like that too’

‘Yeah?’ He asked, his nose bumping yours lightly and you knew it wouldn’t take much to reach up and kiss him. ‘Maybe we’re moving too quickly but I can’t get enough of you. Every second I’m with you I just want more’ he confessed as you reached up to cup his jaw lightly.

‘Mason?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Kiss me’ You whispered, taking the plunge to ask as you knew you were both dancing around the subject and all you wanted was to feel him against you.

You saw an unreadable emotion flash through his eyes. Nerves maybe? Or something else? You weren’t sure but it was gone as soon as it came. Watching his tongue poke out from between his lips so he could wet them slightly before he started to lean down.

You were no angel, you’d kissed a fair few strangers on nights out before but you this was different. A tingle running from the top of your head and all the way down your spine to your core as he brushed his lips against yours softly. Pulling back for just a beat before diving right back in to kiss you even harder.

The way he gripped your waist so tightly before wrapping his arms around you fully made you feel oddly safe. Like being this close to him was right where you were supposed to be and you couldn’t help but smile onto his lips. Butterflies swarming your body as the touch of him made you weak.

‘Damn’ he laughed, letting you tuck your face into his neck as you held each other for a few moments before you noticed Rose frantically waving at you from over Mason's shoulder.

‘I think the girls need me’ you laughed, watching Mason whip round to see what you were looking at before looking back at you with a cheeky smile.

‘I’ll wait for you here, yeah?’ He whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead before pulling back again. ‘I feel bad, I kinda stole you tonight’

‘You can steal me whenever you like’ you winked, kissing his neck lightly as you felt him shiver. ‘I think I should dance some of this alcohol off as well’

‘Don’t want you making any bad decisions huh?’ He teased, pinching your bum before realising you. ‘Take your time I’ll be here’

You joined the girls on the dance floor, the three of them surrounding you and asking you a million questions but you just blushed and stumbled your way through all of them.

‘Bestie, just go home with him. You know you want to’ Sam laughed as you tried to hide your face in embarrassment.

‘He’s been undressing you with his eyes all night and you clearly like him. Let the man have some, it’s just sex’ Rose added in and you knew she was right. The whole reason the pair of you spoke in the first place was for some fun, you just didn’t know it would be happening this quickly.

The girls left shortly after, making you turn your location on so they could keep an eye on you and you made your way back to Mason and his friends. The one who’d been speaking about you before sending you a soft smile but you knew there was something else behind it.

‘Where are you friends?’ Mason asked, pulling you into his lap and wrapping his arm around you.

‘They left about five minutes ago’

‘Oh yeah?’ He laughed. ‘So I’ve finally got you all to myself huh?’ He murmured into your neck but you were ready to take the plunge now and get what you wanted.

‘How about you come home with me so you can really have me all to yourself’ you teased, watching his eyes light up before he buried his face in your neck.

‘Are you sure?’ he whispered just below your ear. Kissing your neck lightly and you knew there was no way you were leaving without him now.

‘I’m sure’ you shuddered, feeling his hands squeeze your waist before dropping a heavy kiss on your lips.

‘Grab your coat babe, you’ve pulled’ he teased. Grabbing his own things as you made your way back downstairs to get your stuff from the cloakroom. Meeting him back upstairs so he could take you out a secret way as you ordered an Uber back to yours.

You’d barely been inside five minutes and he was on you. Kissing you like he might never kiss you again as he slowly undressed you with wide eyes. Every touch of his fingertips felt like fire as he devoured you and you couldn’t seem to keep your hands off of each other.

You let him touch and kiss wherever he pleased and for just sex you were surprised at how intimate it was. His dark eyes drinking you in before staring longingly into yours as he made you see stars. Again feeling that pull to him just like always and you didn’t want to let him go ever again.

The next morning Mason was awake before you, laying on his back as he looked up at the ceiling and you could tell he was in his own little world so you just laid and waited for him to realise you were awake.

Soon enough he was looking over to you. A soft smile on his face as you locked eyes and your heart thumped in your chest. It had been a while since you’d woken up next to a boy and you weren’t sure what you were doing but soon enough he was reaching for you. Tucking you under his arm and into his chest so he could press a kiss to your forehead but you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking something was off.

‘Is everything okay, Mason?’

‘Yeah, of course’ he told you softly. Pulling back to look at you and the expression on his face made you melt. ‘I’m waking up next to a beautiful woman, what could be better?’ he joked and you nuzzled into his chest a bit more as you smiled. ‘You got plans today’

‘Nah, just having a tidy up I think. You?’

‘I’ve got some stuff to sort this afternoon, but maybe I could buy you breakfast first?’ He offered and you nodded furiously into his chest at the thought of spending more time with him.

So he ordered the pair of you some food and you ate it in bed in just your underwear as you spoke about all that had happened in the last few days. Still not really believing he was in front of you and in your bed but soon after you’d eaten he was ready to make you believe again. Whimpering his name into the air as he buried his face between your thighs.

You didn't see him after that night until a few weeks later. During that time his messages became few and far between but you figured he may not have been a texting person so you let it slide as you were still learning about each other and how this whole thing would work. You’d both said it was only a bit of fun but unfortunately for you, you’d become a little too attached too quickly.

You were beginning to loose hope a little bit when you hadn’t heard from him for two days but all of a sudden he sent you an offer you couldn’t refuse.

You still remember the look on his face when you caught eyes in the restaurant. His whole expression lighting up as a look of relief washed over him and you melted into his arms as he held you. Pressing a kiss to your temple before you sat down across from him.

It felt like picking up just where you left off, him holding your hand over the table as he hung off your every word. Smiling shyly at you as his eyes raked over your figure and even in public your need for him grew.

It was almost like he could see it in your eyes so after the bill was paid, you asked if he fancied coming back to yours for a nightcap and you were glad that he accepted straight away. Barely letting you shut the front door before he pulled you for a heated kiss that made your knees weak and it only hit you then how much you missed him these past few weeks.

You’d said it yourselves, you were only looking for a little bit of fun but you craved him like you’d never done anyone else. You wanted to drown in those big brown eyes every second he looked at you and with every kiss over your naked skin your need for him multiplied.

He knew exactly how to take care of you, knowing your body like a book he’d read a thousand times before and he cherished every page like it was the first time he’d seen it. Reacting to every noise you made with his sole focus on making you feel as good as humanly possible. But it was a two way street and as much as he overwhelmed and consumed you, you knew you were making him feel just as good.

‘Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve missed you’ you told him quietly, your mouth running away with you as you came down from your highs but the small giggle you heard from next to you made you smile. Mason's fingers threading through yours gently as you looked at him and his smile made your heart race.

‘We’ll don’t take this the wrong way either, but I missed you too’

‘Could have fooled me’ you chuckled, watching his face fall slightly before he pulled you onto his chest so he could hold your jaw and look at you properly.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Sorry, I didn't mean it to come out like that’ you told him, shaking your head at yourself as you felt like you’d ruined things with your silly backhanded comment but he still had a small smile playing on his lips and you knew he hadn't taken too much offence to it.

‘I know I’m not the best at texting but that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about you’ he told you softly. Kissing your temple before looking back at you again. ‘I can show you again if you like’ he laughed, hand trailing down your neck to your chest and when you felt his thumb run over your nipple you couldn’t help but let out a soft moan.

‘Nah you’re alright’ you laughed, watching his face fall slightly before he smiled, realising you were only joking as he shook his head at you like he wasn’t best pleased with your joke and you knew he was about to bite back.

‘Oh shut up’

‘Make me’ you whispered, watching his eyes turn dark instantly before he dipped his head. Claiming your lips with his own and swallowing the moan that erupted from your throat as he trailed his hand back up to your neck and gave it a gentle squeeze.

So you let him show you again.

And a couple of weeks after that you let him show you once more. Him sticking around for a day extra that time and even though he was giving you no reason to worry, there was something in the back of your mind that concerned you. He came into your life so suddenly each time and was gone again in a flash so you told yourself next time he popped up you were going to have a proper conversation with him and say your piece. Thankfully he was right on time, texting you again a few days later and your tummy erupted in butterflies as his name flashed up on your phone.

He was over in the next 15 minutes, joining you under the blanket before diving into your m&m’s and it felt like you’d never been apart. Blushing as he pressed a loving kiss to your forehead but the look on your face must have prompted him to speak as a shy look took over his face.

‘I need to be honest with it about something’ he gulped, fingers trailing over his face like he did when he was nervous. ‘I know you’re not looking for a relationship or whatever but I still need to tell you’

‘What is it?’ You questioned, not liking the way he mentioned about you not wanting a relationship as the dread sunk into you.

‘I know you can tell something is a little off with me, coming and going like anything and it’s not fair to keep you in the dark. I… I have a girlfriend’ he gulped, eyes shooting to the floor. ‘Well not right now I don’t but… it’s complicated’

His words hit you like a slap to the face. A girlfriend? But how? None of it made sense but the icky feeling of being the other woman soon took over as you pulled away from him.

‘Are you cheating on her… with me?’

‘No no wait, it’s not like that at all’ he told you, turning to face you so he could explain a little better. Reaching for your hands and against your better judgement you let him hold them. ‘We’re not together right now, yeah? Haven’t been for a little while, I promise. I’d never do that to you, or anyone. I’m not a cheater, I just…’

‘What?’

‘It’s complicated and I know it’s not healthy but we’re on and off again like you wouldn’t believe. It’s the same pattern all the time, she breaks up with me over nothing and ignores me for a few days. I worry myself sick cause I don’t know what she’s doing or who she’s with and when she’s finally over her strop I go crawling back with my tail between my legs’

‘Well that doesn’t sound fun at all’ you pouted, a little bit of sympathy seeping its way in but you were still confused and a little hurt by the fact he’d kept this from you.

‘Its not. And I know I should just end it once and for all but… I don’t know, it’s like I can’t. I love her’

You couldn’t deny it stung a little to hear him say he loved another girl after you’d slept with him multiple times but you understood. You both said you were just looking for a bit of fun so the fact he’s got some weird relationship on the side shouldn’t have bothered you too much but it really did. He’d kept it from you from the start and you had so many unanswered questions swirling around in your brain.

‘I know none of this is fair on you and now I’ve dragged you into this weird thing so I’m sorry’

‘Do you ever think of me, when you’re with her?’ You asked, your mouth tumbling out questions before you really knew what you wanted to say but the sad look on his face was making your heart break.

‘Sometimes’ he admitted quietly and you didn’t know what to think. ‘A lot, actually. Things are different with you, you feel like a warm blanket when she’s left me out in the cold. I just got sick and tired of worrying and waiting for her to decide to come back that’s all’

‘Why do you keep going back?’

‘I’m not even sure at this point’ he laughed, resting his head on the back of the sofa and you followed suit so you could lean back next to him. Both looking at each other as he began to open up to you. ‘We’re childhood sweethearts. She's my first everything like she’s all I’ve ever known and we’ve fallen into the most ridiculous pattern but I can’t make it stop. Trust me I’ve tried. It’s exhausting I swear but you do weird things when you love someone’

‘Is she good to you, when you’re together?’ You questioned, trying to get to the bottom of why he kept going back to her but as soon as you asked you realised you didn’t want to know.

‘She’s perfect at first, but it never lasts that long. It’s like I’m addicted to that high of when we get back together that I just roll with the punches now’ he confessed and your heart broke for him. ‘I just wanted to be honest with you. I know I haven’t been and I’m sorry’

‘Well I appreciate you telling me’ you sighed . Thinking this was it and he was letting you down gently but when you felt his hand on your cheek you looked up at him with wide eyes.

‘I know it’s selfish, and I know I shouldn’t but I want to keep you in my life still. If you’re okay with that?’

‘Oh I’m… Mase I’m not sure-‘

‘Please, I can’t not have you around. I feel like you’re meant to be in my life, like I feel different around you. I feel myself, you know?‘

You felt it too. You felt yourself around him and you wanted to be selfish and keep him in your life so against your better judgement you felt yourself nodding in agreement.

‘We can just take it day by day and see how we feel’ you nodded. Knowing you were setting yourself up for a fall but something inside of you didn’t want to let him go.

‘Yeah okay, like it’s still early days, but I’d really like for us to be friends at least’ he smiled. The word friends breaking your heart a tiny bit as they fell from his lips but you soldiered on. Smiling and nodding like you were fine with all of it.

‘Can I ask you something else?’ You whispered. Things clicking into place the more you thought about them and since he seemed to be being honest with you so you felt like you could ask him more.

‘Anything’

‘Your friend that first night? When he said we shouldn’t be talking it wasn’t because we were rushing things was it? It was because of her’

‘No that’s not completely true’ he told you. Picking your hand up so he could play with your fingers while he spoke. ‘She was part of it yeah but he really did think it was nuts we only matched the day before’

‘Have you done this before? Seen other girls in between’

‘Never, I swear. You’re the second person I’ve ever slept with in my life.’ he told you, looking straight into your eyes and this time you believed him. ‘Wait one sec’ he told you. Reaching for his phone so he could pull up his emails before pulling you into his chest so you could see ‘See? This is my registration email for that app’ he explained, pointing to the time and date and you saw it was the day you first spoke around about an hour before you matched. ‘You’re the only girl I spoke to on there too’ he laughed. Opening the app up so you could check his inbox and to your surprise you were the only profile there. ‘Do you believe me?’

‘I believe you’ you sighed. Looking up into his eyes as his flickered all over your face before landing on your lips. You felt awful but you ached for him. Wanting to look past everything he’d just said and throw yourself at him so you could feel him like you’d wanted to for days. And to your surprise he seemed to be thinking exactly the same.

You knew you shouldn’t, but when he lent forward to kiss you, you let him. Sighing into his mouth as he kissed you softly before you pulled back. Foreheads touching as you looked down into your lap.

‘We can’t’

‘I know’ he sighed, bringing you into his chest so he could just hold you ‘I don’t wanna stop’ he told you earnestly. ‘But I get it. If you’re not comfortable sleeping together anymore that’s fine but I can’t not be around you’

‘Mase, I don’t know’ you gulped, suddenly thinking everything through. Not sure if you were able to be around him now when you knew what you wanted from him but his puppy dog eyes were making it hard to resist him.

‘I just need a friend, please’ he told you and you could feel yourself getting wrapped around his finger. You didn't want to be his shoulder to cry on but in this moment that’s all you could ever be.

‘Oh Mase’ you pouted. Threading your fingers through his before he rested his head on your shoulder. ‘I guess we can be friends. But no more sex yeah? Even when you are on a break’

‘Okay’ he nodded sadly, knowing it was the right choice but also knowing he still wanted you.

Your little routine continued, him doing the disappearing acting before showing up unannounced and you still remember the first time he tried to act coy about it but as the pair of you sunk down into your sofa you knew you had to address the elephant in the room.

‘Mason it’s fine, I know the drill. You can just tell me if you were with her last week’ you mumbled and you felt him sigh next to you before placing his head on your shoulder.

‘I was with her’ he told you quietly. His words slicing through you but you acted like it had no effect on you. You were friends and you promised you’d be there for him no matter what.

‘And?’

‘Rinse and repeat. She’s thrown me out again’

You didn’t respond. Not really knowing what to say as on one hand you were happy you had him back but you knew it wouldn't last long.

You weren't sure if it was helping, now you knew where he was spending the time he had away from you. Learning that Mason and his girlfriend, Robin, did in fact live together but Mason had a flat of his own he’d stay in whenever he needed to. You both agreed on never going there though just in case she turned up unannounced and each time he wanted to see you, he’d show up at your door.

Now you weren’t sleeping together and were just friends, you took a different route on how you spent your time together. Making him hot chocolate and feeding him biscuits as you let him vent. Telling you what crazy reason she had that time to kick him out from not putting the kettle back in its base properly to staying behind at training a little longer and forgetting to text her about it.

He never seemed bothered when he first got to you though. Always excited to see you and wrap you up in his arms and every time his chocolate eyes looked into yours you felt your resolve cracking a little more. You were friends and that’s what you had agreed on but you couldn’t deny there was still that same level of attraction and pull to one another.

You always wanted to touch him and kiss him. Always were thinking about him and wanting him with you as you did the most mundane tasks and as time went on you seemed to be spending more time together as his and Robin's disagreements became more frequent.

You knew it was probably the last thing you should be doing but you missed him and wanted to grill him about what had happened this time so whilst he was on the way over you quickly freshened up just in time for him to ring your buzzer.

‘Hello trouble’ he beamed, taking you into his arms so he could hold you tightly and you couldn't stop yourself from squeezing him back. You’d missed him more than you thought and the kiss he pressed to your cheek made you shiver. ‘Missed you’

‘Missed you too’ you told him quietly and you really had. He’d cancelled on you the week before after he promised he was on his way. Leaving you to drink two cups of hot chocolate yourself but he was here this time and you hated how relieved you felt.

It was around the sixth time he’d walked away from her that something changed. He came over just like usual and you made him something to eat as you sat and spoke about why she’d chucked him out this time but the way he was with you was slowly evolving as he placed his hand on your knee and rubbed his thumb across it

‘What’s this you’re watching?’

‘It’s a documentary about twin flames’

‘What a twin flame?’

‘It’s basically another word for a soulmate. Someone you have a deep connection with that can’t really be explained. Like they’re your person and you feel this pull to them. You’re meant to spend your life with them, like their your one’ you told him. Watching a cheeky smile spread across his face and you knew what he was about to say before he’d even said it.

‘So like us then?’

‘Well considering this is about a cult that ruined a load of people’s lives I hope not’ you laughed, trying to push him words away as they made you feel strange but he just wrapped an arm around you as he kissed your cheek. Pulling you further into his lap so you could be closer.

Each time he’d seen you he pushed it a little more, holding your hand, kissing your cheek and making cheeky comments to try and make you blush but he was extra touchy tonight. And you couldn’t say you weren’t enjoying the attention.

‘Can I have a cuddle please? A proper one’ he pouted and you knew what he meant instantly. You knew it was risky but the selfish part of you wanted to feel close to him so you did what he wanted. Lying down on your sofa before patting your chest and he climbed on top of you like an excited puppy. Resting his head in your neck as he wrapped his arms around you, his weight slightly crushing you but you didn’t mind. One arm around his shoulders as the other reached into his hair to scratch over his scalp.

‘That better?’ You asked, feeling him hum in satisfaction as he nestled himself into you even further and you wondered if he could hear your heart pounding in your chest with how close he was. Feeling his skin press against yours after so long felt comforting and exciting at the same time and you couldn’t help but reach down as press a kiss to his temple.

‘I always feel better with you’ he whispered, his lips moving against your neck making you shiver and you knew he felt it. Feeling his smile brush against you before he took the plunge and placed a gentle kiss to your neck.

You were turned on instantly, a shaky breath falling from your lips before you could stop it and you knew he could tell how much he was affecting you with one simple kiss.

So he didn’t stop. Gently sucking on your sweet spot as he littered your skin with kisses, but it was the way he pressed his crotch into your core that had you trembling.

‘Mase’ you whimpered. Tugging on his hair gently but this just caused I’m to growl into your neck before kneeling up so he could look you in the eyes.

‘Please, gorgeous. Please let me have you’ he begged quietly, eyes wide and dark as he dragged his bottom lip through his teeth. ‘I’ve been so good and I’ve kept my hands to myself for so long but I need you now baby, please’

You froze, not wanting to say no but knowing what saying yes meant and he took your lack of objection to mean he could touch you. One hand sneaking under your shirt to touch your bare waist and your eyes fluttered shut at the feeling. He was being so gentle with you, teasing you just the way you liked before his fingers travelled to your pj shorts. Reaching up the leg and pulling them to the side but as soon as his touch landed on your underwear you froze. Eyes meeting his immediately as he ceased his movements.

‘Tell me to stop and I will’ he uttered, but you both knew there was no going back so you shook your head ever so slightly to let him know it was fine to carry on and it only took a beat for him to move his fingers again. Stroking your folds over your underwear and the sensation was driving you insane. Bucking your hips up gently into his hand to let him know you needed more and he was happy to oblige.

His hands moved to your thighs, spreading them out so he could access you a bit easier before his fingers were back over your core. Resuming his movements before dipping his fingers past the hem of your underwear so he could touch you properly.

You gasped at the contact, his fingers feeling like magic after so long and you shut your eyes again before you felt him move to hover over you. His forehead resting on yours as you both stared into each other's eyes and the intensity made you shiver.

‘Don’t close your eyes baby, look at me’ he whispered, fingers pulsing inside of you as he spoke and you whimpered at the sound of his voice. ‘I’ve missed this, missed having you like this’

You couldn't deny you’d missed him too, but there was a reason why you hadn’t been intimate with him for the last few months. He was making you feel too good right in this second though to think about anything else and when you felt his bulge press against your thigh you knew you couldn’t wait any longer.

‘Masey please’

‘What is it, sweetheart?’ He asked, voice soft and slightly playful. You knew he knew what you wanted but he wanted you to ask for it. Threading your fingers through his hair so you could pull his face down and into your neck before finally telling him what he wanted to hear.

‘Fuck me, Mase’ you whispered in his ear, feeling him shudder at your words before a low growl fell from his lips.

‘Good girl’

So he did what you asked, taking his time to re explore your body before holding your hands above your head as he drove himself into you. Each thrust feeling better than the last until you were whimpering his name through your high. Letting him collapse onto your naked body before you both erupted into giggles and even though you knew you should have stopped him, you let him kiss you softly.

‘Sorry, I know we said no more sex but I can’t not have you, pretty girl’ he whispered, lips peppering soft kisses over your cheeks as you blushed at his words. ‘I’m so fucking obsessed with you’

‘Well that’s worrying’

‘Yeah, I’d get some sort of restraining order in place if I were you’ he teased, lips trailing back to your neck again and the sensation made you squirm in delight. ‘Such a good girl for me. You want me again?’

You could feel him already hard against your leg again and against your better judgement for the second time that evening you nodded against his lips. Swallowing his small chuckle at your neediness as you kissed him deeply again, the rules you’d set yourself to protect your heart thrown out the window as you let Mason do with you as he pleased.

Even though he would remind you that he was technically single, you knew it was wrong to fall back into the routine of sleeping together. Knowing he’d be off soon after, leaving you more hurt than you realised each time but you took it because being with him felt so good.

That was until you’d clearly let him get too comfortable and he began to walk all over you. Cancelling plans at the drop of a hat, always being on his phone around you as he constantly texted someone with a smile on his face and you were unsure if it was Robin or someone else he’d met but it still hurt just the same.

The real kicker came when you were looking at the menu for a restaurant Sam had sent you and Mason had caught sight of it over your shoulder. Questioning you where it was and when you explained it was somewhere you’d always wanted to try he promised to take you soon however two nights later you saw the pap pictures of him leaving the very same restaurant with Robin.

You felt crushed, that was your special place that you’d introduced him to and now it was ruined for you. No longer wanting to go there or speak to him for a while so when he text you the next day you left him on read.

You gave in though, like you always did. Mason explaining a few days later when he’d showed up at your door unannounced that she had caught him trying to book a table for the pair of you and he’d panicked and told her it was for her. Telling you he’d take you soon but you no longer cared for it and he knew he’d messed up that time. Being extra soft with you that night as he tried to show you how much he cared for you without any words.

As the weeks went on, you were starting to feel like he kept you around just for sex. Coming and going as he pleased as he knew you’d never deny him and give him what he wanted but a cheeky glance at your phone would prove otherwise eventually.

‘Why do you still have that app?’

‘What app?’

‘The dating app we met on. Why do you still have it downloaded’ he questioned, his tone full of anger and jealousy but in all honesty you’d just forgotten to delete it. You hadn’t been back on it since you’d got Mason's number but he didn’t need to know that.

‘Why wouldn’t I have it? I’m single, remember?’

‘I beg to differ’ he scoffed, knowing he’d crossed a line with his words but he held firm. ‘Delete it please’

‘No, why should I?’

‘Cause I don’t like the thought of you having it on there’

‘Well I’ll be honest Mase, I don’t give a shit what you don't like the thought of. You know where to go if you think differently’ you shrugged, hoping he’d drop the subject and move on but to your surprise he picked his stuff up and walked out your front door without another word. Slamming the door on the way out.

You didn't see him again for a week or so. Knowing he was probably with her whilst you two were sort of mad at each other was making you feel weird so you did what you could to distract yourself. Shopping dates and dinners with your girls and today you had a lunch date with Rose. Filling each other in about what you’d been up to lately but you kept all thoughts about Mason in the back of your mind until Rose left you to pop to the loo.

‘Fancy seeing you here’ you heard, Mason's voice ringing in your ears as the shock ripped through you as you looked up to him. His hand resting on your shoulder with a cheeky smirk plastered over his face.

‘Mason? What are you doing here?’

‘Just had a game of golf with Woody over the road’ he told you, head bobbing in the direction of where he’d just come from. ‘Why are you here?’

‘Late lunch with a friend’

‘Friend? Or date?’

‘Why does it matter? You have a girlfriend Mason’ you told him. Watching his face drop momentarily before his sly smile returned.

‘It doesn’t I guess’ he shrugged but you knew what he meant by that. It didn't matter to him if you were on a date because he knew you’d be crawling back to him as soon as he clicked his fingers and the realisation hit you like a truck. ‘Like you said, you’re single. I have to get going but I’ll text you yeah’ he smiled, dropping a kiss to the top of your head and walking away before you could say anything.

You managed to perk yourself back up before Rose got back. Quickly asking for the bill so she could rush off back to work yet when the waitress came you weren’t expecting her to let you know the bill had been fully paid for and you were free to go.

You knew who had paid instantly. Slight anger rolling through you as you know he’d only done it as he thought you were on a date and was trying to prove a point to you and whoever you were with so you sent him a quick text to let him realise how silly and possessive he’d been.

You felt bad about the last line, but you stood by it. Your whole relationship was him getting his own way and you knew you’d hit a nerve as he never text you back after that.

You were miserable, stuck in this weird middle ground with him where he could never be yours and you knew what you had to do when he eventually came over that evening even though you didn’t want to. His cheeky smile and soft touches had left a mark on you but it wasn't just that. Yeah the sex was great and you always felt a pull to him but you liked him as just Mason. The silly cheeky guy who never failed to make you laugh or brighten your day with just a text.

At least that was how you felt about him once anyway.

He texted you letting you know he’d be over soon so you busied yourself. Putting your dishes away and giving the place a quick hoover but you knew you were doing anything to just not think about what was about to happen.

This felt like make or break for you and him. You didn’t want to be his bit on the side anymore and you were done trying to comfort him through a situation he had full control over. Yes you both went into this knowing it was a bit of fun but things had changed and you were ready to put yourself first. Either he gave you all of him or you were done. Plain and simple.

The sound of your buzzer going filled you with dread.

You opened the door for him, standing off to the side and slightly behind the door so he couldn’t get to you in any way and you could tell he was confused by your standoffishness.

‘You okay?’ he asked, his brows pinched together like he was unsure of what was going on so you nodded at him before walking into your living room and sitting in the armchair so he couldn’t sit next to you

‘Mason I think we should talk’ you told him. Wanting to get in first so you could get your point across but he was looking back at you in confusion.

‘What is it?’

‘I want us to stop seeing each other’

‘What? No I don’t want that’ he explained, his voice and face becoming hard but you tried not to look at him. Knowing it would just make you change your mind. ‘I’m sorry for last week, yeah? It just caught me off guard but I don’t want us to stop’

‘I’m really unhappy, Mason’ you told him truthfully. Watching his face soften ever so slightly as he was clearly disappointed he’d made you upset so you dropped your eyes to the floor so you couldn’t let his emotions influence you. ‘I didn’t ask to be in the middle of you and her and I’m stopping it before it goes any further’

‘What do you want me to do?’ He offered, sounding desperate and you could see he wanted to get closer to you so wrapped your arms around yourself in an attempt to block him out.

‘I don’t want you to do anything. I’m just trying to protect myself and if you’re carrying on with her then I’m out’ you told him, your eyes flickering up to read his expression and he looked even sadder than before. ‘Cause I bet she doesn’t know about me does she? I bet you have to lie to her when you come and see me’

‘Well technically no. Whenever I come here me and here aren’t on speaking terms so there’s no point’ he huffed but you just rolled your eyes at him. Hating the way he always had an answer for everything. ‘But that’s besides the point, none of that matters anymore cause you’re not in the middle of anything’

‘What do you mean?’

‘That’s why I came over here, to tell you I’ve had enough and I just want you’ he told you softly before his big brown eyes were looking up into yours. His bottom lip wobbling as he tried to swallow down his tears and you felt awful instantly. ‘I can’t keep putting myself through this every other week, it’s stupid. Not to mention you, I’m so sorry for dragging you into this’

‘Are you really not going back?’ You whimpered, tears flooding your eyes at what he might be hinting at but you waited to let him speak to explain properly.

‘When I went home after seeing you today she kicked off about some event she’s going to tonight and I just can’t do it anymore’ he told you, shaking his head as he held a hand out to you. ‘Please come here’

You did as he asked, taking his hand before sitting in his lap so you could hold each other tightly and the overwhelming need to apologise flooded you.

‘Sorry Mase, I had no idea I just-‘

‘Shh, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for, okay? I’m the sorry one. I should've never let it get to this point’

As much as you agreed with him, you also had your part to play and before you knew it you were about to admit something you never thought you would. ‘I need to tell you something’

‘What is it babe?’ He asked, pulling away from you so he could look into your eyes and the soft look on his face melted you.

‘I think I like you’ you whispered, a look of shock on his face as your words sunk in. ‘Like, like like you, you know?’ You laughed, watching his eyes brighten as you tried to make light of the situation and you could see your favourite smile returning to his face. ‘I know I shouldn’t and I know this was never the plan but I do really like you and it kills me everytime you go back to her’ you explained. Your voice breaking at the end as you got emotional but his hand on your cheek brought you back to look at him. ‘But I don’t want to be in the middle of whatever weird game you and her have going on. How she’s making you feel is how I’m feeling and I don’t like it’

‘I never meant for that to happen I swear’ he breathed, kissing your forehead as he smiled sweetly at you. ‘You have no fucking idea how long I’ve waited for you to say that’ he laughed, pressing a light kiss to your cheek now but you were left slightly confused. ‘I like you too’

‘Really?’

‘Of course’ he laughed, pulling you tighter to his body as he nestled his face into your neck. ‘All this time I’ve been going back to her to try and get the feeling I always get when I’m with you’ he confessed ‘this just makes it more final for me you know? I’m done messing you around okay, I want you to be mine’

‘Good, cause I wanna be yours’ you laughed, cupping his jaw so you could stroke his cheek and lean down to kiss him properly. It was a kiss full of relief as you gently brushed your lips together after being apart for so long. One full of promises of better times ahead now you were both free to be with each other and you spent a little time talking things through before eventually landing on the topic of seeing each other earlier that day.

‘I know it’s stupid but after last week with the app and then today, I thought you were with someone else and I couldn’t take it. You’re mine okay?’ He confessed and you couldn’t help but let a small chuckle pass through your lips.

‘Ah, so you were jealous’

‘Incredibly so’ he laughed, not caring how he sounded. ‘And I felt stupid as fuck when you text me after and it was Rose. Like it really hit home then that i don’t want anyone else to have you. But I’m not being fair letting someone else have me’

‘I can’t believe we’ve finally got here’ you laughed. Disbelief laced through your voice as he looked up at you shyly. ‘You really want this then?’ You asked, watching him pick up your hands so he could kiss along your knuckles and you felt your heart thump at the sweet gesture. Loving that he couldn’t seem to keep his lips away from you.

‘Of course I do’ he laughed, pressing a gentle kiss to your nose that made you shiver. ‘Being with her, it’s shit. She’s fucking awful to me but I’m stuck in this weird toxic cycle we’re I she says jump and I say how high. But it’s always been different with you’ he confessed, his voice gentle but certain and you couldn't stop smiling. ‘That night we matched and we spoke on the phone for the first time, she’d ended things two days before. I told myself I was done and I was gonna get her out of my system so I went on that app with all the intentions of just finding a girl to sleep with but…’

‘But what?’

‘But I met you, and… I’ve never felt like that before. I just couldn’t get enough of you so yeah when you said you were going out the next night I convinced my friends to go there so I could see you’ he admitted shyly causing you to laugh. ‘You took my fucking breath away, you know that? I couldn’t stop myself from touching you cause I felt like if I didn’t then I couldn't survive. That first time I slept with you, I was expecting to feel shit. I was expecting to be thinking about her but I didn’t. Not for one second’ He told you, eyes all over your face as he was spilling his guts. ‘And all I’ve thought about is you ever since. You make me feel alive when I’ve been walking round like a zombie for years’

You couldn’t speak, his words turning you into a mess so you did the only thing you wanted to do with Mason and leaned into him for a kiss. You didn’t stop this time though, letting him claim you fully once more after so long but this felt different to every other time. It was soft and loving and he repeatedly reminded you that you were his and he was yours and you swore you’d never heard anything so beautiful before.

You laid there for hours, spilling your guts about how you’d missed each other and how excited you were to start fresh. Hands never leaving each other's bodies as well as your lips but when he went to check his phone after it kept vibrating you saw his face drop. Writing out a quick text before coming back to join you but you knew something had changed about him. He was antsy and quiet and constantly checking his phone before standing up and reaching for his clothes.

‘Listen, I’ve got to head home yeah? But I’ll text you in bit and I’ll come see you tomorrow okay?’ He told you, throwing his hoodie over his head and you felt an awful feeling settling in your tummy.

‘Oh um, where are you going?’ You asked, not content with letting him go without an explanation and you could read the guilty look on his face from a mile away.

‘I need to sort something out’ he shrugged but you knew him better than he thought and you knew all the warning signs. Thinking over everything he’d told you tonight and you knew you had to say something now to avoid more heartbreak down the line.

‘Mason I don’t believe you’

‘What? Why not?’ He laughed. Stuffing himself into his shoes as he grabbed his keys but his nonchalance was angering you.

‘Cause this whole night you haven't actually said it’s definitely over with her and now you’re just leaving so suddenly. Why can’t you just tell me where you’re going?’

‘Babe, i…‘

‘Tell me it’s over Mason’ you asked but he stood there just looking at you. Not able to speak so you probed him again. Knowing if you pushed him he’d spill and he looked on the verge of tears. ‘Mason please-‘

‘I can’t’ he whispered, cutting you off as you felt your heart shatter. ‘I have to go’

You let him walk to the front door in silence, quickly chucking on some underwear and a shirt and following him to the door where he was zipping up his coat and you knew you had to be firm with him this time.

‘You walk out the door Mason I promise you, I won’t let you back in’ you told him firmly. Watching his hand rest on the handle but he made no attempt to move it.

‘Y/n don’t do this’

‘You’re the one leaving not me’

‘You don’t understand’

‘No see I understand all of it’ you told him. Hands balled into fists as you tried to convey how you were feeling to him. ‘You’re doing to me what she does to you after you promised you wouldn’t and I won’t stand for it anymore. So I’ll tell you again. You leave Mason and I won’t let you back in’

You didn’t give him a chance to say anything else. Walking back into the living room so you could sit on your sofa in hopes he’d follow you but when you heard the door shut and silence after you knew he’d left.

You tried holding it in, you really did but you were crushed. You’d fallen for his lies again and let him back in, ignoring all the red flags that now appeared so glaringly obvious and you cursed yourself for being so stupid. Letting yourself have an ugly cry into your pillows as you curled into a ball.

It was never meant to end like this. Mason was only ever meant to be someone to have fun with but you’d known from the second you’d seen him he was going to be special to you. Like your souls knew each other already and once they’d found one another he’d set up home in your heart. That’s why you let him treat you how he had, doing whatever it took so you could call him yours even just for a night here and there but you couldn’t let it carry on and hurt yourself like you were right now.

You didn’t hear from him that night, constantly checking your phone through your tears to see if he’d texted you but each time you were met with a blank screen. Feeling more and more hopeless as time went on until you’d exhausted yourself and you fell asleep.

Thankfully the next morning you had nowhere you needed to be and after checking your phone to find nothing from him still, your misery turned to anger. Suddenly wanting to know who this girl was that he couldn’t keep away from as you’d done everything in your power to ignore that part of his life and after some careful digging you managed to find her instagram. Your heart stopping at the first post you clicked on

Robin_xo

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Robin_xo It’s a forever thing 🩷

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You knew it was him from the first picture. The hoodie being the same one he wore last night and as you scrolled to the next picture your heart sank even more. The same trousers and trainers as yesterday too and you didn’t even want to scroll to the last picture but you did.

There he was, head tucked into her neck as they lay in bed together and you felt sick at the sight of them. Only a few hours before these pictures had been taken he’d been with you telling you that you were his one and you felt the rage slowly start to ripple through you. You felt like an idiot and you refused to be part of his little game anymore.

He may not have the guts to leave her but you were stronger than him and you could walk away from this any time.

You picked your phone up again, blocking his number, blocking his social media and even blocking him on the dating app where you’d first met him just in case he was desperate enough to try you there. Making sure he had no way of getting to you if he tried so you could have a clean break and move on even if the prospect of being without him felt hopeless.

Over the next few days you were able to pull yourself together, the first days being rough but you got yourself back into a routine and had started to perk up by the end of the week.

Your heart still hurt though, wanting nothing more than to unblock him from everything and invite him over but you knew as soon as you looked into his eyes, that had had you from the start, then the gaping hole he left would ache even more.

You didn’t want to be around anyone, choosing to spend your Saturday night wrapped up in a blanket as you fed yourself your favourite snacks. Doing everything you could to stop your mind thinking of other things and you hadn’t felt this settled in a while.

The pounding on your door came as a complete shock to you and the force of it made you jump. You knew it was him instantly but you were determined to ignore him until he went away. You’d told him you wouldn’t let him back in if he came back and you’d half been expecting it at some point but not this quickly.

‘Y/n? Babe you in there?’ You suddenly heard, Mason sticking his fingers through the letterbox of your front door so he could shout directly in and the sound of his loud voice frightened you a little bit. ‘Baby please speak to me. I know I’ve fucked it but please let me in’

You heard the letter box snap shut, hoping that he thought you weren’t in and after a few moments you stood up and rounded the corner into your hallway so you could make sure he was gone. But as soon as you got close you saw it open again, jumping to the side and out the way so you could hide just next to the door and out of sight but you knew it was all in vain.

‘I saw your legs, I know you're there’ he called, shutting the post box back up but it wasn’t for long. Watching it open again as he jammed his fingers through as you were frozen in place. ‘If you don’t wanna let me in then fine, but can you at least unblock me so I can call you. I look like a mad man shouting in the street like this’ he told you and you knew he was right.

You knew he was causing a scene and soon enough your neighbours would be wondering what was happening but you weren’t sure if you wanted to hear him out yet. Even just the sound of his voice now was making you feel uneasy but you knew Mason and you knew he’d sit out there until you spoke to him no matter how long it took.

Against your better judgement you unblocked his number and sent him a quick text to let him know he could call you but you only did it so you could tell him to go away and when you saw his picture flash up to show he was calling, you gulped down a nervous lump before hitting accept.

‘Baby please-‘

‘No’ you sniffed, knowing if he explained you’d be right back under his thumb and you were tired of all of it. ‘I'm not listening, I only unblocked you so I could tell you to leave me alone. All I’ve done is think about what you need and I've hurt myself in the process. I’m done talking about this please just go’

‘No I’m not going. I’m sorry but no you have to hear me out’ he countered, hearing him take a seat on your front step as you contemplated if unblocking him was the right choice.

‘I gave you your chance Mason and you blew it. I’m not opening up and letting you back in just for you to run back to her. I poured my heart out to you and you still went back’

‘Baby, please. I’m not going anywhere this time I promise’ he told you his voice pained but when you didn’t answer him you heard the back of his head thud on the door before you heard some shuffling. ‘I mean it, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll sit out here forever if I have to’

‘Mason I’m sorry, you’ve done this too many times I can’t’ you cried, feeling yourself getting overwhelmed at the fact he wouldn’t go and you couldn’t help but let out a few small sobs. ‘You don’t want me’

‘Of course I do-‘

‘No you don’t, you’re just petrified of being alone so you’re latching onto whoever you can’ you wailed. ‘You’re being selfish and I can’t do it anymore’

‘Please don’t cry. Not when I’m stuck out here and can’t do anything to help’ he pleaded, sounding more and more desperate as the moments went on. ‘Tell me what to do. What can I do to fix this? We’re meant to be together baby, can’t you see?’

‘I used to be able to but you’re hurting me Mason. Everything you do fucking hurts’ you sobbed. Trying to make him feel as awful as possible and from the sound of his breathing on the other end it was working. He sounded wrecked but you were ready to stick the knife in a few more times for good measure. ‘Do you know how hard it is to wake up every morning and know you’re waking up next to her, when you should be with me? It fucking sucks Mason, I hate it’

‘I’m sorry baby-‘

‘No you’re not sorry. I’m sick of being second place okay, I’m done’

‘There is no second place, you’re all there is yeah? you’re my one I promise’

You wanted to believe him. To throw the door open and hurl yourself into his arms but you stayed put. He’d done this to you too many times and you didn’t have it in you to watch him walk away from you again so you kept him out no matter how much it was hurting you both. It would be better for you in the long run to end things here and move on.

‘I bared my soul to you Mason and I thought you’d done the same. I thought we were finally getting somewhere but you’ve never wanted me from the start and now I need you to go’

‘Baby please-‘

‘No Mase! Please just go, please!’ you begged him, hoping he’d take the hint before you hung up on him as you couldn’t take listening to him anymore. He’d hurt you more than anyone else had and the sound of him trying to make things right was just hurting you even more.

‘Okay okay, I’m going’ he told you. His voice raw and full of tears and you could hear him standing up outside. ‘I’m going okay but I’m not giving up. I’m not giving up on us baby so just please please dont block me again and I’ll prove to you I’m serious okay? I’m serious about you’

You didn’t reply, fresh out of words to give him and you hoped your silence was enough for him to get the picture but unfortunately for you he still had more to say.

‘I’ll leave you alone okay, I know my word means nothing to you right now but I’ll make this up to you. I’ll text you on Monday and we’ll figure something out, just promise me you won’t block me’

You didn’t want to make him any promises and you were also unsure as to whether you were going to keep him unblocked so you kept silent again. Hoping he’d get the hint you were done talking to him.

‘Okay well… I’m off then. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? Bye baby’ he whispered, waiting a beat to see if you’d reply but when you didn’t he finally hung up.

You didn’t know how he did it, but the urge to throw your door open and go chasing after him was itching just below your skin. You kept yourself rooted to the floor though, waiting for the sound of his car to start and drive away before you picked yourself up off the floor and took yourself back to the sofa.

Where do I go from here? You wondered. Face falling into your hands and you silently wept. You would love to give Mason another chance as you knew deep down in your soul he was your person but even if that was the case it didn’t give him the right to treat you how he had been.

You always prided yourself on sticking to your guns and being firm but when it came to Mason you’d thrown it all out of the window. Doing anything you could to keep him close and you wondered if giving him one more chance would even be worth it.

The rest of the weekend passed you by in a blur. Going to visit your parents on Sunday as you needed some comfort but as soon as you got home the wallowing hole that Mason left in chest started to hurt. He kept to his word and didn’t text you that day but at 8am on the dot on Monday there he was. The sight of his text on your phone making your mouth go dry and you opened it cautiously feeling like as soon as you did he’d pop out from somewhere.

It still hurt hearing from him, but you were glad he wasn’t after a response cause you didn’t have one to give to him right now. Your heart was hurting as you told yourself you wouldn’t let him get anywhere near you again but here he was.

The thought ran across your mind of just blocking him again and being done with it. Hoping he would get the hint and leave you alone but you knew that would never happen. And what if he was telling the truth? Was it really over with her? Was he finally free from whatever spell she had him under and could he one day be fully yours?

Your curiosity eventually got the better of you, pulling up Robins instagram again and you were shocked to find that any trace of Mason was now gone. Even carefully scrolling down the rest of her feed to find the cute pictures of them as teenagers had vanished also and even though you didn’t want to be one of those girls you checked her followers and following to find him missing from both lists.

You knew it was only small but it was something. Something to show he was serious and now all you were left wondering was if he had it in him to put the work in to win you back.

But work in for it he did.

Each day a new text would come through at 8am sharp and whilst for the first few days you were unsure and still a little bit sad, it became part of your routine than you expected. You were still sad about what happened and didn’t know if you had it in you to let Mason back in but he was really trying and with each new text that you left unanswered your resolve was chipping away more and more.

It wasn't just him saying good morning that made your heart defrost a little bit, it was the making sure you had a proper coat and umbrella with you and the cheesy jokes to make you smile. Never once missing a day or sending you one late and over the coming weeks you felt the need to reply grow. Even typing out a few replies sometimes but you chickened out at sending them. Knowing it would open to the floodgates for you to talk and you didn’t know if you were ready yet.

So you kept things one sided for a few weeks, finding yourself anticipating what he might say to you next whilst trying to keep up with where he was. Wanting to watch his stories but not be caught out but in the end you just went for it knowing the amount of people that see meant he’d never realise you did too.

That was until five weeks had passed and you woke up one day to a blank screen. No silly joke, no letting you know what coat you needed or even a simple hello.

You didn’t know what to do or what to think. You were so used to hearing from him now that being woken up to nothing left an unfamiliar feeling in your tummy. Had something happened to him? Or had he simply given up? Tired of trying with you every day to get nothing back and it was in that moment you realised that’s not what you wanted. You knew you were always going to give in eventually no matter how much you told yourself you wouldn’t but now you were unsure as to what to do.

You decided to leave it for a few hours. Giving yourself a deadline of 2pm and if he hadn’t spoken to you by that time then you’d send him a message in hopes he’d reply and as soon as the clock struck two you hit send.

Now you’d replied, the sudden realisation of what you were going to say if he got back to you flashed through your mind. Wondering if you should make him work for it a little bit more but you realised there was no point. It had been over a month since you’d left him sitting on your steps outside and you missed him more and more as each day passed.

The pair of you needed to thrash it out and start fresh rather than let this drag on any longer than needed so you thought about what you wanted to say to him when he replied and when your phone buzzed around half an hour later you picked it up excitedly in hopes he wasn’t mad at you or had given up.

You were filled with giddy excitement, knowing he wasn’t mad at you but his phone was dead and you felt like a huge weight had been lifted as you finally admitted you missed him. You were done with playing games with him and dragging anything out

The rest of the day dragged, antsy to get home and speak to Mason but you’d agreed to have dinner with a colleague and didn’t want to appear rude. Thankfully they had issues with their babysitter so you got away at a reasonable time and were able to hop in the shower and get ready for bed just in time to text Mason and let him know you were ready for him.

He read the message straight away but it took around five minutes for him to actually call you. Your heart in your throat as his picture came up and with shaky hands you clicked accept and readied yourself to talk to him.

‘Hello?’

‘Hey’ he answered, a sigh of relief pouring from him and he spoke and the butterflies swarmed in your tummy as you listened to the sound of his voice in what felt like the first time in forever. ‘You alright?’

‘Yeah, I’m fine. You?’

‘Yeah I’m good’ he told you softly, closing your eyes as a wave of emotion rippled over you. ‘I’ve missed your voice’

You couldn’t stop the quiet sob that fell from your lips at his confession. You missed his voice too but you didn’t want to admit it to him right now.

‘Please don’t get upset’ he whispered. Concern filling his voice as he listened to you struggling to hold it together. ‘Please baby, cause I might do something drastic’ he joked, feeling the laughter bubble up and out of you before you could stop it and it’s like you could feel him smiling down the phone.

‘Oh yeah? Like what?’

‘Whatever you want, I’ll do it’ he told you seriously. ‘I mean it, whatever you want from me to make you happy, I’ll do it’

‘I asked you to leave me alone, you didn’t do that’

‘Cause I know we’d both be miserable in the long run’ he told you pointedly and you had to reluctantly agree. You had been miserable for so long but this felt like a bit of a turning point.

You kept the conversation light, letting each other know what you’d been up to lately and you could feel yourself slipping back into the same headspace as when you first met. Hanging on his every word as he made you laugh and the itch to see him was slowly growing.

‘This feels a bit like old times huh?’ You smiled. ‘You know, like the first night we matched? we’ve come full circle a bit’

‘I still remember that call’ he whispered ‘I knew I was fucked as soon as I heard your voice’ he laughed, hearing him moving around so he could get comfortable and it made you miss him even more. You wanted to get comfortable in his arms so he could hold you together. ‘Do you think I can see you soon?’

‘I think so, yeah’ you told him quietly, Mason giving no response to you but you could feel his smile down the phone. ‘Mason?’

‘Yes baby’ he answered, your tummy flipping at the sound of the pet name again. He’d called it a million times before but this felt different. It felt real.

‘Is it really over with her’

‘I promise, it’s done’ he told you sincerely and you believed him straight away. ‘Whatever you need for me to prove it to you I will okay’

‘I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you-‘

‘No it’s not that, but I've messed up and I need to prove myself. I’ve not given you anything to trust but I can change that and I will’ he told you pointedly.

‘What happened, Mase? Why did you go?’ You asked tearily before hearing him let out a sigh.

‘When I came here that night, I was serious about ending things. But she’s all I’ve ever really known so when she asked if I could come back and see her I only went because I'm weak. I don’t really have an excuse I just panicked but I knew I’d messed up straight away and then I saw she put that fucking post up. I told her to take it down and I tried to text you but they weren’t delivering and when I called you it was going straight to voicemail. I even tried messaging you on the bloody app but you weren’t coming up so I logged out and then when I searched again you came up’ he sighed. ‘I knew then I’d lost you so I really tried with her for a few days but you’re always on my mind. It's like I’d look at her but I’d just be wishing I was looking at you, pretending you were next to me and no matter what I did that never went away. I don’t feel for her what I feel for you, don’t think I ever have really and I knew I had to break the cycle with her. We loved each other but we just didn’t like each other anymore’

‘How do you know that won't happen to us?’ you asked quietly. Not sure you could ever not like Mason even after everything but if it could happen to him and his childhood sweetheart then what chance did you have?

‘I can’t make you any promises baby, but I just have this feeling you know? Me and her hurting each other was a routine, when we weren’t shouting at each other then it didn’t feel right. It’s almost like we took pleasure in making the other miserable but knowing I’d hurt you, that absolutely broke me’ he told you. His voice wobbling at the end as his emotions got the better of him and that was all it took for you to get upset yourself. Small sobs that you’d tried to keep at bay now battling their way to their surface and you knew Mason heard them straight away.

‘Please don’t cry love’ he whispered and you could hear him sitting up in bed like he was trying to hear you better.

‘Sorry-‘

‘No no don’t be sorry’ he interrupted, his voice full of sorrow. ‘I just hate that I can’t do anything’

‘It’s fine, I’ll be alright’ you told him but clearly you weren’t convincing enough as you heard him get out of bed on the other end.

‘No I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m coming over okay?’

‘You don’t have to, I’ll be fine in a minute’

‘No I do. If you don’t want me to come then I won’t but I can’t be so far away knowing you’re upset’

You didn’t want him being far away anymore either and the prospect of being close to him for a little bit sounding more enticing by the second and before you knew it your mouth was running away with you.

‘There’s a spare key under the plant pot’

‘I’ll be ten minutes okay? Just stay where you are’ he told you and you could hear him rustling around on the other end.

‘Okay’ You choked and after a quick goodbye he was gone.

You tried to calm yourself down a bit. Sitting yourself up in bed to try and stop the tears but no matter what they kept flowing and the anticipation of seeing Mason was making you feel sick.

You heard your front door open, gathering yourself together so you could try and calm down some more. Switching the lamp on beside you but as soon as he burst through the door you felt yourself breaking down again.

He was rushing over to you in an instant and you let him hold you to his chest. Tucking your face in his neck as his scent overtook you and you felt yourself melting into his embrace.

‘Shhhhh it’s okay. It’s okay baby I’m here now. I've got you yeah?’ He whispered. Rocking you back and forth to soothe you but all you could do was cry your little broken heart out once more. Gripping his hoodie with your fists like he might disappear but he was there and he was real. His fingers slowly rubbing over your scalp as he tried to calm you down but all you could feel was his own breathing becoming more ragged as he got emotional himself.

The pair of you couldn’t seem to separate, holding each other as tightly as you could as you cried out all of your pain. Him rubbing your back gently to try and soothe you but it was his comforting smell that relaxed you more than anything. Letting it engulf you as you squeezed him tighter before pulling back to look at him.

‘Please don’t cry anymore beautiful’ he whispered, gently wiping the last few tears from under your eyes and you gently reached out to wipe the tears away from his own face. The need to have him tell you face to face it was finally over being the only thing on your mind as you knew you’d be able to read him so without a second thought you cupped his face and smiled as he rested his cheek in your palm.

‘Is it really done?’

‘It’s done baby’ he nodded, and you knew he was being honest. ‘Last time I was here, when I sat outside, as soon as I left I went and got my stuff and I haven’t seen or spoken to her since’

‘Really?’

‘I promise. And you know what? I feel so relieved. Like huge weights off my shoulders cause I know it’s really done and it’s over’ he told you, unable to stop himself pressing a soft kiss to your forehead and you shivered at his touch before wrapping your arms around him again.

‘Look at me’ he whispered, pulling back so the pair of you could look at each other and even though he looked the saddest you’d ever seen him his eyes looked less troubled and you felt your heart settle. ‘Even if you really are done with me and this is it, then I just want you to know I’ll always be grateful for you, you know? Things have been different with you from the start in the best way possible and I can’t even begin to describe it. I just feel drawn to you, we’re like magnets. Like maybe it sounds stupid but it’s like our souls are connected. I know you said it was a cult but you’re my twin flame baby’ he laughed, making you roll your eyes at his attempt at a joke but your smile mirrored his before he got serious again.

‘You made me see how unhealthy everything was and I’ve never felt more complete than when I’m with you. You make me feel safe and you feel like home. Like when I’m with you my mind finally switches off and I know everything’s alright. Meeting you changed everything for me but I get that I may have pushed you too far’

‘I’m not done with you’ you told him. Watching his face relax as your words sunk in. Knowing you felt the exact same as him and that’s why you’d been holding on to him for so long. ‘I really almost was but I can’t keep away’

‘I’ll make things right i promise’ he breathed, his voice strained as he tried to hold himself together and even though he was clearly emotional you were ready to set down some ground rules.

‘If we do this, we do it my way alright?’

‘I’ll do whatever you want, i promise you’

‘I need time okay. I’m not saying we have to keep apart like we have been but I’d like for us to take it slow and make sure this is really what we want. I can’t get hurt like this again Mase’

‘I know, and I never would again, yeah? But we can go at whatever pace you like’ he told you and you couldn’t stop the smile taking over your face at his words. You knew he was being serious and the way he started smiling because you were made your heart thump, letting him pull you in closer as he cupped your jaw. ‘I missed you so much’ he whispered, kissing your head gently. ‘But I also missed who I was when I’m around you. You bring out the best parts of me. You make me want to be better, to do better, I want to be good for you, you know?. I couldn't have done it without you, I didn’t even want to do it for myself but I- I care about you so much’ he confessed.

You couldn’t speak, his sweet words rendering you speechless so you did the only thing you could think of to show him you felt the same. Leaning forward to softly capture his lips and you could tell he was shocked. Freezing ever so slightly before he melted into you and kissed you back.

You’d missed his kisses more than anything, the way just a simple touch of his lips on yours had the power to relax you like they did and you wanted to feel even closer to him than you currently were so you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and let him pull you further into his body.

Neither of you tried to take anything further, content with just feeling each other after what felt like too long apart and even when you tried to pull away he chased your lips so he could kiss you again before you couldn’t stop smiling. Foreheads resting against each others so you could still be close and it was only when he bumped his nose against yours gently that you found the courage to look at him.

‘That was unexpected’ he smiled, making you laugh out of embarrassment a little bit but he kissed your cheeks to let you know it was fine.

‘What happens now, Mase?’

‘What do you want to happen?’

‘A fresh start?’ You smiled, causing him to nod at you shyly. ‘I don’t wanna hold onto any anger or use anything against each other or anything like that. I just want us to be together and be happy. Just the two of us’

‘I want that too, more than anything’ he confirmed. ‘like I never wanna make you sad ever again, it kills me knowing how I’ve made you feel. I really would do anything to make this work, baby. I wanna grow with you and laugh with you and make you happy, yeah? Never wanna see you cry again’

‘I don’t think I’ve got anymore tears left’ you laughed, pulling him back into a hug and your heart fluttered at the way he clung to you. Stroking your back as he hid in your neck and you relished in the comfortable silence.

‘She knows about you’ he told you suddenly. His voice was so quiet you almost didn’t hear him but when you pulled back he must have sensed your uneasiness and carried on to reassure you. ‘Not everything, like she doesn’t know who you are but when I told her I wasn’t coming back this time she asked if there was someone else. She’d had her suspicions for a while but I just told her I’ve got a very good friend who I don't wanna just be friends with anymore. And that I love her enough to give her everything she wants and not keep hurting her because we can’t figure our shit out’

‘Love?’ You breathed. Wondering if the word had slipped out by accident but he nodded his head to let you know that’s what he meant to say.

‘Don’t worry, you don’t have to say it. It just needed you to know’ he told you softly. Thumb stroking your cheek as he gazed down at you adoringly. ‘You still give me butterflies, you know that? just like you did the first time I saw you. They’ve never gone away and I don’t think they ever will’

‘Oh Mase’ you whispered. So overwhelmed by everything he’d told you tonight you didn’t know where to start. You just wanted to hold him and kiss him and let him know you were going to be okay so you did just that. Kissing him softly before you pulled each other into your arms.

It felt like a dream, sitting there quietly and content with him as you just held each other together. Focusing on each other's breathing as you melted even closer together and you wished you could stay like this in his arms forever.

‘I’ll head off soon, yeah?’ He whispered into your hair, hands stroking your back lightly but you pulled away with a pout before he tucked some hair behind your ear. Smiling softly at you as you looked at him in disappointment.

‘Do you have to?’

‘I thought you wanted to take it slow?’

‘I do, but not tonight’ you huffed. ‘I need you here tonight’

‘Oh yeah? Need me here to do what?’ He asked, his voice getting a little more cheeky but he knew you didn’t mean it like that.

‘Hold me’ you whispered, watching his face soften before pressing another kiss to your cheek.

‘Come on, I’ve got you’ he whispered, the pair of you getting comfortable under the covers and you shivered as his thumbs stroked over your waist lightly. ‘You know, I wished I would of known there was a key under the plant pot when I was sat outside freezing my balls off a few weeks ago’

‘Trust me you wouldn’t have wanted to see me then’ you chuckled. ‘I was ready to tear you a new one’

‘I would have taken it’ he smiled, pulling you into his body a little further. ‘But I think it was better I gave you some space for a little while’

‘What about the constant texts?’

‘Don’t lie, you loved them. I know you were waiting everyday to see what I had to say next’

‘The animal facts were my favourite’

‘Oh yeah? Well I’ve got a load saved up for you’ he told you. The pair of you giggling like school kids but the wide eyed look on his face made your tummy flutter and when he lent down to kiss your cheek softly you could feel the blush spreading over them. ‘I know you wanna take things slow but I’m so excited to do all our firsts together again’ he told you softly, and you looked up at him with a confused expression.

‘What do you mean?’

‘You know like, tomorrow will be the first morning I get to wake up next to you and not feel weird about it. And I’m gonna take you out on a first date, a real one and I'll take you wherever you want. And then you can come stay with me for the first time and I’ll show you off to my family when you’re ready’ he told you excitedly. ‘Does that all sound okay?’

‘That sounds perfect’ you laughed, loving how excited he seemed knowing he’d get to do all these things with you again

‘As much as I’d love to stay up all night yapping with you, you need some sleep baby’

‘You’ll be here when I wake up, won’t you?’

‘Of course I will’ he reassured you and after a quick kiss good night you got settled on his chest.

‘Hey, Mase?’ You whispered after a few minutes, knowing you should trying to sleep but there was something you wanted to tell him before you did.

‘Yeah?’

‘I’ve deleted that app’ you told him. Feeling his chest rumble under you as he laughed before placing a soft kiss to your hairline.

‘Me too’ he whispered. ‘Does this mean you’re not single now?’

‘Almost’

‘I can work with that’ he told you quietly, kissing your forehead softly as you snuggled yourself into his chest even more.

Were things perfect? No

Were they salvageable? Yes

If you would have asked yourself that question a few weeks ago then you might have had a very different answer but laying in Mason's arms right now and the promise of a fresh start when you woke up in the morning being only hours away made you realised that he would always be worth it. That you hadn’t just chosen him but the universe had picked you for each other and whilst life was never simple, you knew you’d never be lonely again.

Thank you so so much for taking the time to read this 🩷 I’d love it if you could send me some feedback to let me know what you think 😘

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