Tumpik
#Twisted Wonderland Imagines
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*after class*
Mc: Who wants Smash with me after school?
Sebek: WHAT!
Ace: Yes I do.
Deuce: *blushing*
Jack & Epel: *just staring*
Sebek: MC THAT IS REALLY INAPPROPRIATE!!!!
*Jack leaves*
Mc: No it's not. Come on Sebek don't u want smash with me?
Sebek: *blushing* M-maybe
Epel: I'm in too...
Mc: Yay, this is going to be a proper Smash Bros tournament.
Ace: Wait what?
Mc: Yeah, I just bought more game controllers and... Wait a minute, if you didin't talk about Smash Bors, what were you talking about?
*All boys are silent*
Mc: Now let's make it so that I go as far away from you as possible and none of you come near me. Except Deuce.
Epel: What that is unfair. Why?
Mc: Because Deuce knew how to keep his mouth shut
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jackplushie · 2 days ago
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Trembling fingers reach out to your face, slowly trailing down your cheeks,barely grazing you. Featherlight touches as he pokes and prods at your facial features, much like a curious child. You bat away his hands, glaring at him.
“Malleus, I’m trying to rest.”
He raises his hands in defeat, before placing them on your shoulders.
“Have I not offered my lap as a pillow?” He sighs, a tone of dismay leaking into his voice.
You wiggle about, head resting on his thigh. Pulling up your cloak, you nuzzle into his lap, seeking support for your head. Grim yawns, before rolling closer to you, curled up next to your stomach.
“A very comfortable pillow it is.” You chuckle, patting it in appreciation. His tail swayed slightly, rustling the grass behind him. So predictable, really. Lapping after any word of validation like a pet would, bending over backwards to make sure that you’re satisfied.
Despite his… reliant nature, he made for a good companion. Always attentive, ready to listen to whatever you have to say. His reluctance to sleep at night also made him the ideal guard.
A Dragon protecting its treasure. You’ve joked about this to him, laughing about how silly it seemed. A dragon prince, beholden to a simple Grimwalker. He clasped your hands in his, before mumbling something about how precious you were to him.
You shrugged it off as another one of his whims. Pleasantries exchanged for the sake of appeasement. Although you found yourself leaning into his touch, melting like soft yellow butter in the sun.
You run a hand down his thigh, feeling him shudder from your touch.
“Hey, Malleus?”
He leans down slightly, ebony hair grazing your face.
“Yes, Child of Man?”
“Stay with me.” You mutter, reaching up to cup his face in your palm. Soft, remarkably so, with just a hint of roughness to remind you of his dragon ancestry.
He laughs, a rumble in his throat. A comforting sound, in the otherwise silent night.
“Of course. I wouldn’t dare to dream otherwise.”
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k1ngdom-of-thieves · a day ago
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That last idia fic was adorable and put my mood up! Can i request the same topic but with Riddle? Please and thanks
Of course! I’m so glad you liked that fic
Here’s the fic for anyone whose curious
Riddle hearing his crush talk themself down
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Riddle was making his usual rounds in heartlabyul when he heard three very familiar voices. Two of them sounded panicked, definitely Ace and Deuce. He would’ve thought they had broken one of the rules again if it wasn’t for the third voice.
The voice was quieter, and was trembling. Even though it was difficult to hear, he could almost automatically tell that the voice was y/n’s.
He immediately thought it was best to leave, the idea of eavesdropping on you made him shudder at the thought of it. Buuut, he’s also a teenage boy who doesn’t know how to get close to his crush. So he does what most socially awkward people do. Stand in the same place like a deer in headlights.
At first, all he heard was Ace trying to apologize for making an insensitive joke with Deuce yelling at him about it. Then he heard your voice, saying that you agreed with Ace. That you’d never be good enough for a perfectionist.
His heart sank. He had been so caught up in his own thoughts and feelings that he completely forgot to think of yours.
Instead of giving you the idea that he was interested in dating you, he made you scared of your feelings for him. Riddle thought about all of the times that you had tried to get some alone time with him, only for him to get too flustered and shut you down.
He knew that he had to fix his mistake. Or his many mistakes. He couldn’t bear to listen to you talk down to yourself because of his inability to understand his own emotions.
Riddle walked up to the three of you with a perfect stride. Accompanied by very shaky hands. He asked if he could speak to you privately. Ace and Deuce looked at you with completely slacked jaws.
“I’m sorry that I gave you such a terrible impression of my feelings. Please let me try again. Will you be willing to go on a d-date?” He was doing so well until that last part.
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thewritingdoll · 12 hours ago
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𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝓉𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑒 ⎹ 𝓐.𝓐.
❝ ғᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ ⤻ twisted wonderland / kinktober 2022 / @dollsotome-library
❝ ғᴇᴀᴛᴜʀᴇᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀs ⤻ overblotted!azul ashengrotto x headmage!reader ( f! ) ; floyd & jade leech are there, too
❝ ʀᴀᴛɪɴɢ ⤻ nsfw! none of my writings are meant for anyone under the age of 18, and any minors interacting will be blocked on site.
❝ ᴄ��ɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs ⤻ this is a dark fic, noncon but technically forced consent, tentacles— lots of tentacles, frottage, anal, free use mention, exhibitionism, face fucking/sloppy head, titjob, bondage, dumbification and degradation, choking & autoerotic asphyxiation, student/professor, implied age gap but all parties are 18+ ( reader is older )
❝ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ ⤻ 1.3k / mini musing
❝ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴇ ⤻ i do not consent to having my work reposted / translated / stolen in any capacity for any reason. please reblog and leave a comment to support content creators! my work is very rarely proof read so mistakes may be present. all characters / pairings i write for are 18+ with no exceptions.
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“Oh, my dear headmage, it’s a tad bit late for tears, isn’t it?” Azul crooned, as if the obsidian tentacles roped around your neck wasn’t forcing your head down— giving you no choice but to take him hilt deep in your mouth. the best you can muster for a response is a gag and a squint, tears streaming down your hollowed cheeks when the tip of his cock prods against the back of your throat, threatening to break the barrier and dip into the constricted canal. “You are the one that signed the contract, after all.”
Jade hums, watching from the corner of the desk with one hand resting on his chest, the other bent behind him, like a dutiful butler to his overblotted housewarden. “Well, I do believe she was under the impression that you were only going to take her signature spell as collateral,” he chortles to himself, soft and wicked in equal scores, “and she was in such a bind that she didn’t even bother to read through the agreement. Devilishly clever of you to throw the college into chaos, only to strike a deal with the headmage and trick her into giving you the ownership of her body in exchange for peace, Azul.”
your fists clenched, and if your arms weren’t wrenched at your back, coils of tentacle binding them together, you might’ve been able to reach for your pen. but Azul was everywhere. the massive tendrils engulfed your entire office, seemingly ambushing you— each one with a mind of its own, but you knew that wasn’t the case. Azul was meticulous in ensuring that every, single one was assaulting you in accordance with his own desires. your body was already littered with sucker marks, welts raised each time they pry themselves from it. the two controlling the furious bobbing of your head was most intricately woven against your torso, cradling your breasts together, they create a sheath for another one to glide between, leaving your mounds dripping with the blot that slickens each organic chord. then, of course, it was impossible to ignore the one cinching your legs together from ankle to thigh, worming in the middle to slot between your weeping folds. the suckers seal against your clit, and the draw more blood to the nerves, swelling it further. each time the seal is broken with a pop, you slide back and forth over the ridges underside, and you moan, hapless, with a mouth full of cock— spit bubbles and webs of drool oozing out from both corners of your mouth as it’s stretched tight over Azul’s cock.
“Now, now, Jade…” Azul was having trouble speaking as clearly through his puffing breath, thin brows drawn together, “there’s no need for the praise. We all played our parts, didn’t we?”
Floyd scoffs. the wild twin was staring with hungry eyes, both hands splayed out on the desk behind you, “Yeah! All the more reason we should be able to touch. Come on, I want to play with her, too!”
Azul cuts his crystal gaze to his henchman, “I promised that when she wasn’t serving me, you could have your fun with her, didn’t I?”
their eyes meet, and Floyd pouts, reaching out to give your ass a hard squeeze, “Yeah, sure, but… I want to fuck her now.” his other hand comes down hard as a slap and does the same with the other cheek, using the handful of both to spread them apart. “Let me fuck her little asshole, at least.”
“When I’m finished tenderizing her.” Azul replies, flippantly, but you could feel a brand new assailant. another, pesky tentacle, slick with inky blot, takes advantage of the unoccupied, vulnerable hole, and smears itself against it. with a hard shake of your head, you protest, but Azul takes one look at your furrowed brow, and smirks, lusty. “I wouldn’t dare feed her to my closest friends until I’ve loosened her into delicious submission. She’s still just a little too up tight.” you knew it was over, then. the tendril pushes into your ring, squeezing inside, filling you with quick jerking pumping. luckily, the thick extremity is slimy enough that the insertion isn’t over painful, but there’s no denying he’s forcing you to take more than your body was designed to. you yelp, muffled, and gurgle a slew of swears, which are promptly quietened by the tendril squeezing your neck and pulling you down. there’s a pop, not one you can hear, but one that you feel, when your lips press against his base and balls, the tip and first couple of inches pounding their way into your throat. “Now that… that feels good, yes…”
your eyes widen, and you choke, but you’re already being dribbled at a near-break beck speed and force with the new depth he’s found. he drills himself so fiercely into your throat that your eyes roll back after several, loud-clucking moments, lips smashing against his base over and over again. Azul moans, drawing in a shaky breath, and one of his hands comes up to clutch his own throat, squeezing hard whilst the tentacle does the same to yours. “Ahhh…!” Azul’s head is thrown back, nails digging into his own neck.
“Looks fun!” Floyd pouts, winging out. his head tilts to one side to get a better look. “I want my turn. I want to help squeeze the brains out of her!”
the reasonable twin looks to his brother, clicking his tongue against his teeth to make a tch sound. “No, brother, we should be thankful Azul is going to dumb her down for us. Think about it,” he pauses, stepping forward to swat Floyd’s hands from your ass, “when he’s finished with her, she will be so fucked out and thoughtless that you will be able to do whatever you want to her, and she’ll simply babble and take it.”
Floyd’s eyes light up with excitement, “Eh? Whatever I want?” for a moment, he grins wide, but then suspicion creeps upon his countenance, “How do you know it’ll happen so fast?”
Jade quirks a brow, gesturing to you. you’re whimpering and gagging, eyes glassy and rolled to the back of your skull, but you were no longer clenching your fists, nor were you squirming or protesting. you were becoming a breathing cocksleeve already, bouncing back and forth against the extremities that impaled you on both ends. “If you watch closely, you can see every, last thought being fucked right out of her pretty head.”
“She’ll have none… left… by the time I’m done with he—her,” Azul groaned, hips rocking to meet the rapid bobbing, “the agreement is that she’s my — and Octavinelle’s— cumslut now. If the poor, unfortunate bimbo had bothered to read the fine print, she would’ve known that she gave up her position as headmage and her right to think about anything other than servicing her masters’ cocks, morning, noon, and night.”
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ridhearts · a day ago
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mission failed {vamp!jamil x reader}
anonymous requested: hiiiiiiiiiiii could i please request some vampire!jamil with a human!reader where reader is a vampire hunter and is lovers w jamil but then jamil gets turned and now they have to choose between their job and their love for jamil Jjsjdksk thank u sm!!!
!! information !!
characters: jamil
reader: gn!
cw: none! 
notes: just for clarity’s sake, this work is a request and does not fall into the lore that i consider “canon” for my au!
masterlists ⇿ requests
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There once was a boy you knew, in a town where you felt you didn’t quite belong. Of course, you were right - you were only in the area for a job, and it would be safest for you to leave as soon as you were finished. An increase in suspicious deaths, both livestock and human, was a usual cause for summoning a vampire hunter such as yourself. The distrusting looks the locals gave you were par for the course, too. You were proof that there was evil in their neighborhoods, that their homes were no longer safe, and that the death that plagued them was purposeful and all the more terrifying. The way they refused to help you on your search proved they were idle prey, but idle prey kept you in business. The dislike could go both ways.
The boy you met was just a regular in town, save for the fact that he was amazing at everything he did. He worked a few jobs in town, always in high demand for his skills and normally happy to help provide for his family. He was even remarkable enough for word of his talents to spread to you, though you never crossed paths with him - at least, not wittingly.
The first time you met Jamil, you ran into him while he was on his way home. It was after dark, and you told him as much, commenting on how dangerous it was to be out at night before you could solve the problem.
He wasn’t much for conversation, shrugging and promising with hardly-contained derision not to lose track of time again. You huffed. 
Whichever vampires were haunting the area, they were certainly taking their time in making another move. Perhaps they knew you were a vampire hunter, or maybe they were waiting for the people to feel safe again before starting another hunt. You did your best to poke around for information from the locals, giving the ones who would listen a few traps or weapons. For a while, it was quiet.
Then there was a disappearance.
Naturally, the townspeople were furious with you for being unable to protect the girl who was taken. You tried to explain that you needed more information, but everyone was somehow less eager to cooperate with you. You had half a mind to send a letter to your captain and have a lockdown placed on the town until the problem was solved when you met Jamil again.
He appeared behind you in the general goods store just after the shop owner flung a few insults at you and shoved your purchase across the counter in your direction. Or, rather, if the amused smirk on his face was anything to go off of, he witnessed the entire exchange from start to finish. Before you could wordlessly brush past him, however, he called out to the owner and had, essentially, the same conversation you tried to have, only with exponentially better results. You wondered if the owner knew what he was doing and answered to spite you, or if Jamil was really that convincing (or the shopkeeper that oblivious). 
That was when you learned his name. For all his reputation, he had an odd air of apathy about him. And for all that apathy, he was surprisingly flustered when you tried to give him a simple ‘thank you.’ Jamil left in a hurry, and you watched after him. You’d have to run into him more often if you wanted to make any progress.
Jamil saw through you almost immediately. When you admitted to trying to prod him into uncovering what the town knew for you, he tried to drop you before you even finished your sentence. You were nothing if not persistent, however, and eventually he begrudgingly agreed to vouch for you so people would talk to you.
Talk they did! With such a local superstar on your side, the townspeople were suddenly very helpful. They spoke of strangers lurking around at night, many with unfamiliar markings on their arms. Some who claimed to speak to the strangers told you they saw sharp fangs, or that they had been swindled out of an extreme amount of goods. Most often, people told you of someone trying to hide in the shadows but always peering out from behind corners, someone with a shock of white hair in the night.
You worked with Jamil on gathering your clues, taking his advice on where to search. When the information was too much, he helped acquaint you to the area, as you were already staying for quite a while. He offered to teach you to dance once, after you got rid of the vampires. “The current atmosphere isn’t great for dancing, and I don’t like people watching me,” he said. You told him it sounded like a great idea, and kept to yourself how you wouldn’t be able to accept.
Whatever you felt - if you felt anything, you reminded yourself - it was important that you force it to die. You could not get distracted from the plot that was certainly surrounding the town. You could not put a civilian at risk for being too close to a hunter. You could not give yourself a tie that you would be forced to sever once you finished your work.
But when you returned from a fruitless search in the woods and let Jamil search for and tend to any of your wounds…was it so wrong to admit that it felt nice?
Perhaps it was better, then, that you never found out.
With Jamil’s helped, you realized it was the Scarabia coven surrounding the area - specifically, a high-profile vampire had gotten curious and snuck around, and now there were retainers of some sort scampering around to bring him back. Killing such powerful vampires would be difficult, but you had a better grasp of the situation, and a job to do. You were just circling back after another uneventful patrol, intending to swing by Jamil’s house and gesture for him to join you, when you realized his front door was open.
Running into the house, you were met with blood pooled on the floor, too much for a human to lose and survive. Yet you could hear struggling in another room and raced towards it, fumbling for the dagger strapped to your belt.
The scene was chaotic, furniture tipped over and too many people in one room. The family of Jamil’s that you never met was in various stages of turning, some pressing a hand to their mouths in pain. Each of them had blood trickling down their neck, but the back of Jamil’s shirt was drenched in red from where he had been lying on the floor, surrounded by blood of his own. He was hunched over his sister, shaking - from what? Fear? Rage? You weren’t sure - but your legs were carrying you away before you could figure out. 
(A den of new fledglings is one of the most dangerous place to be, after all.)
You sent a letter to your captain, explaining how the job could not be completed with your interference, and packed to leave. A few nights alter, you took to the sidewalks, certain that the young Scarabia vampire had satiated his curiosity and would be leaving everyone else alone. Still, you did see a figure watching you as you left, hidden between buildings to the moonlight didn’t irritate his skin.
It was your job to eradicate him, but you had already failed in way that hurt more than before. So you averted your gaze and pressed forward. If he really wanted you to end him, all he had to do was bite a few necks of the people he once told you he hated, what felt like long ago.
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0rphiical · 15 hours ago
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Lucien and Yuven being absolutely a couple that I want to smack , punch , throw out of the planet
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dulcesiabits · a month ago
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i’ve become the villain’s lover!
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summary: You have the worst luck in the entire world to be transmigrated into a novel as some faceless side character, where the most notorious villains in the story won’t leave you alone. (ft. Riddle, Leona, Azul, Jamil, Vil, Idia, Malleus).
notes: 12k words, scenario, fluff, mentions of violence, reader gets injured once, heavily based on my love of cheesy isekai/reincarnation/villainess manhwa 
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All of your problems started with the book your friend lent you.
You didn’t even want to read it at first, but you took the copy because she wouldn’t stop pestering you and spamming you with texts. The title—I’ve Become the Villain’s Lover!—was embossed gold, and the cover picture had seven beautiful men lounging around a woman with brown hair, the woman gazing wistfully into the distance. In short, it was so cheesy it sent chills down your back.
You really weren’t going to read it. But that summer night was hot and humid and you had nothing better to do than stare at the television and stir around your half-melted ice cream. So when you saw the book on the edge of the kitchen counter, you thought, why not? and opened it up.
If it was bad, you would stop after a few pages. But the television kept droning on as you read, and your forgotten ice cream was now melted slush in its bowl, and soon you were halfway through the story.
The premise itself was simple enough: the heroine, Hera Winn, was the treasured daughter of a down on his luck baron. He sent her to the city to make her debut, and after a series of mishaps, she ended up running into the crown prince, Malleus Draconia, who fell in love at first sight. However, the crown prince was feared by his subjects, and rumors swirled around about his fearsome power and his family. To make matters worse, six other men fall in love with Hera. The cherry on top? All seven men were notorious villains, feared by people far and wide for their cruelty.
You were still a few chapters away from the ending when your eyes started drooping; it was impossible to keep them open, even though you were dying to text your friend. It was deliciously bad, in an over-the-top and campy way, and you appreciated how self-indulgent the author was. Seriously, why would seven villains even fall for an ordinary person? It was way too contrived.
Whatever. You could call her tomorrow.
You closed your eyes, and when you opened them again, you found yourself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. Oh no. No way. This wasn’t what you thought it was, was it?
Conveniently, there was a hand mirror next to you, and when you stared into the frame, the face of a stranger stared back at you.
Your worst fears had come true. You’d transmigrated into I’ve Become the Villain’s Lover!
Shit. You were never going to read another book in your life.
Luckily (or unluckily), you’d become some no-name extra. You didn’t even show up in the story, so as long as you kept your head down and stayed away from the main characters and their messy love affairs, you’d have a nice, happy life. 
Hey, maybe you could even use your knowledge of the story to make some good cash. You might as well make the best of whatever had happened to you.
The extra you’d transmigrated as lived alone, and had a decently nice house. When you had the chance to dig around the items in the house, you found out that they didn’t really have any hobbies other than reading and gardening. They also had a job working at the local bakery, judging from their planner, so you wouldn’t be lacking in money for now. You settled around the house, and spent a week or two getting used to your new life.
One night, you were getting ready to prepare dinner when you heard a thunk against your back door. Picking up one of your pans to use as a weapon, you cautiously opened the door only to be greeted with the sight of a man bleeding out on your back porch, his eyes closed and face pale. Oh no. You had to help him-- and then you promptly slammed the door shut once you realized who it was: Riddle Rosehearts, the grand duke. But more importantly, he was one of the villainous love interests in the story, and you really had no interest in getting involved in any of that. But then again-- you would also get in trouble if you let someone so powerful bleed to death on your back porch. So with a tired sigh, you opened the door to figure out how to save Riddle’s life.
When Riddle woke up, he reacted about as well as you expected him to react to his savior. He demanded to know who you were, asking what happened and what you did to him, and his hand was curled to cast some nasty fire spells at you if he deemed you a threat: in short, it was a warm welcome, considering he didn’t immediately start with burning you to a crisp.
After you managed to convince him that you weren’t a threat, he settled back into bed with a groan, and you spent the next few days nursing him back to health. After all, he showed up with a stab wound in his abdomen, and you were surprised he even made it to your door. The first few times he flinched whenever you touched him, but he gradually grew used to your touch. In fact, you realized he unconsciously nuzzled into your hand when you checked his temperature, but you were saving that revelation for a day he particularly annoyed you.
Riddle was not the best patient in the world-- he kept track of his own symptoms and checked on his wounds without your help, and he made a list of very specific herbs he wanted you to get from the apothecary. You suspected he still had trouble trusting your intentions in the first few days. Still, that didn’t stop you from falling asleep by his bedside keeping a watch on him (hm? You’re sure you didn’t have a blanket covering your shoulders before you fell asleep) and feeding him spoonfuls of porridge (partly because you didn’t want to take any chances with his wounds, and partly because you thought it was cute how embarrassed he got).
When Riddle was well enough to stand up on his own, you expected him to leave and go back to his dukedom, so you could also continue on with your life. But then he announced he was going to use your house as a hideout from the dukedom traitors who tried to literally and figuratively stab him in the back. Oh, no way-- but then Riddle added that he’d reward you generously if you cooperated, and you’d never been more than happy to offer him your spare room (or offer for him to keep using it, in this case). Somehow the two of you settled into a familiar routine. You went out to work in the mornings, bringing home leftovers from the bakery that didn’t manage to get sold during the day. Riddle managed the finances and handled any paperwork you gave him. He insisted he couldn’t just sit around waiting for you at home with nothing to do, and, well, he was extremely adept with boring, complicated matters. The two of you also tried to cook and clean together. He was absolutely hopeless at it though, and you had to hide a laugh when he tried to dump salt instead of sugar in your cookies.
He was surprisingly sweet. Maybe it was because he was reliant on your goodwill, but in the story, Riddle was a strict, arrogant ruler who imposed his rules with an iron fist over his subjects. The slightest hint of disobedience would have him personally visiting the offending person and making an example out of them in public... which was what probably led to people rebelling against him and trying to oust him from power. You could see hints of that imperious man show through; when he ordered you to do something, he expected you to do it without hesitation. Whenever you refused or talked back, you could see a vein in his forehead twitch.
Still, he seemed to respect you enough to back down when you stood firm in your decisions. He was easy to tease and easy to fluster, though you hoped that wouldn’t come to bite you in the ass when Riddle went to take back the dukedom. He jumped when you stood too close to him, blushed when you casually placed a hand on his shoulder, and he was always at the door to welcome you home in the evenings. He’d become a lot more fond of you than you ever expected, and you had to admit you had a soft spot for him, too. His eyes lit up when you brought home new pastries for him to try, and you noticed that he’d sometimes watch you gently when you walked around the house, though he looked away when you tried to catch him in the act.
One time, he came downstairs when you were dozing on the couch, and his footsteps woke you up. You waited to see what Riddle would do as you pretended to be asleep, curious as to what he got up to when you weren’t around. What you didn’t expect was for him to pull a blanket over you, muttering about how careless you were as he smoothed it down. His hand lingered near your own, so close you can feel the heat emanating from it, and you heard the couch creak as he bent closer to you, his hair brushing your face... and then he left abruptly, leaving you to wonder what he had been planning on doing.
Your cohabitation came to an end abruptly when Riddle told you that he planned to go back to the dukedom. You sent him off with some provisions and a tart you sneaked from the bakery, but Riddle lingered at the door, his face puckered up as if he was conflicted on something. You were going to tease him for how wrinkled his forehead was when he leaned in to kiss you on the cheek, promising that he’d come back for you if everything went well. He ran off before you could give him a response, but you were too open-mouthed to even think of one, anyways.
Several weeks passed, and you were sure Riddle had forgotten you. It was none of your business if things went well for him or not (though you had read in the newspapers that he had miraculously returned and rather brutally dealt with the traitors). You were content to just spend the days peacefully between your house and the bakery. Of course, just when you thought everything was going well, Riddle’s top retainers—Cater, Trey, Ace and Deuce—showed up at your door with a letter from Riddle. They wouldn’t leave until you penned a response, but it took you several minutes to reorient yourself after reading what was basically a confession of love and an invitation to become Riddle’s spouse.
Okay. Okay, you had no idea how on earth this had happened; when had Riddle fallen in love with you? Had all the domestic shenanigans affected him more deeply than you thought? So you failed in your initial plan and had gotten involved with a villain, but you definitely were not going to get involved any farther than this. You liked Riddle more than you expected, but his list of enemies was a mile long, and you were not eager to get involved with any of the political maneuvering he did. Also, marriage seemed like a huge commitment after you had only known him for a few weeks. So you sent him a polite rejection, thinking that would be the end... only for Trey to conveniently be sent to “inspect” your town, or Ace to be waiting for you to walk you home when Riddle was too busy to accompany you himself. Riddle never stepped over any boundaries you set, but it was clear he had not lost an ounce of interest in you.
Still, you enjoyed your peaceful life and you were not in any hurry to change anything, not when you had made friends with a few regular customers and the store owners whose stores you frequented. Everything was seemingly going well until you ventured to the market one day to buy groceries. Unfortunately, just after you finished bargaining for some carrots, you heard some commotion from behind you. A hooded man was being chased by town guards, and passerby were either running out of their way or being mowed down if they were too slow, shopkeepers grumbling as they rearranged their broken wares. Well, that was unfortunate, but it was none of your business! At least it was none of your business until the hooded man ran straight at you and grabbed your arm, pulling you in front of him. He snarled at the guards to back off, or you were going to suffer the consequences. All you could think of were two things: one, your basket of food was now rolling across the cobblestones and you were pissed, and two, you had caught a flash of the man under the hood, and you knew who it was. Leona Kingscholar, the infamous second prince of the neighboring kingdom, and another villainous love interest.
Leona didn’t let you go until you were both far away from the guards, who were reluctant to let an innocent civilian get caught in the mix. When you were far from town, he unceremoniously tossed you aside and told you to scram. Maybe you should have just done what he said and let that be the last of your involvement with him, but god, you were starving and he just sent your dinner rolling across the market roads. So, because you were insane, you decided your best course of action would be to threaten him.
Out of all the love interests, Leona wasn’t the worst to deal with, he was just the most temperamental. Despite his strength and cunning, his indolent nature hindered him from being an asset to his kingdom... or so he led everyone to believe. Due to your knowledge of the story, you knew Leona actually desired the throne and had made numerous schemes and backhand deals in order to get the chance to steal it. No crime was off the table if it meant he got his hands on the one thing he’d always been denied. Well, well, wouldn’t it be a shame if someone who knew all the details of his plans were to leak it to someone, like, say, the local guards? You knew just where to find the evidence to back up your claims, too.
Reluctantly, Leona bought you dinner, and because he’s a prince, you milked his wallet for all it was worth. You didn’t doubt he’d send someone to watch you or potentially assassinate you if he deemed you a big enough risk, but that was okay, because you could count on your new buddy Duke Rosehearts to keep you safe. And you were sure to let Leona know that, too, because who wanted to mess with one of the most influential men in the kingdom? Could Leona really afford to start a diplomatic mess at this point?
That should be that, but of course your life wasn’t that easy. You had no one to blame but yourself for deciding to get involved with Leona. The very next day, you found Leona in your kitchen, casually demanding you make him some breakfast because he was hungry. Since you were such an unprecedented variable in his plans, he was going to be keeping a close eye on you before deciding whether he was going to let you live. Well, if Leona was going to be mooching off of you, the least he could do was pay rent and help with some of the chores.
It wasn’t easy living with him. He was worse than Riddle, because at least Riddle tried to help you once he warmed up to you. Leona expected you to do everything by yourself. Occasionally he would do the dishes once you made enough pointed comments about turning him in, or sweep the floors when you started waving the broom around like it was a deadly weapon. More often than not, he was passed out on the couch when you left for work and still passed out when you came home. He would wake up when you finished making dinner, getting up just in time to eat, which made you suspect he wasn’t as defenseless as he presented himself (and that meant you should probably toss your idea of drawing on his face out the window).
The two of you did not get along whatsoever. Neither of you could go several hours without making some sort of snide remark at each other, and every conversation felt like a battle of its own. Leona often commented that he wasn’t sure whether you were bold or stupid, but it wasn’t often someone tried to challenge him like this. He almost sounded like he enjoyed that fact. Maybe he found you entertaining, but it wasn’t like he was scary to you; you knew too much about the story for that.
Sometimes, he was gone for several days at a time, or came home at odd hours. Somehow, your house had turned into his unofficial hideout. You didn’t know what he was up to, and you didn’t care to find out. At the very least, he started walking you to places when your schedules coincided (something about being careful, because his enemies might have figured out his location? You were not going to ask about that). He would then watch as you bartered for groceries (you tended to get better discounts when he was around, because people were intimidated by his glare), or helped you pick up heavy ingredients for the bakery. Sometimes he would even hold your bags... only after you annoyed him with your loud, dramatic complaints over the weight of them.
After a while, the banter between the two of you turned from biting to something almost affectionate. You couldn’t pinpoint when things started to change, but perhaps living together for so long had softened the both of you up. You didn’t expect him to be nice, but he started to make things a bit easier for you. He gave you nice jewelry to either sell or keep for your personal use. And he started napping on your bed, pulling you in to cuddle him when you complained you needed to sleep for the night and he was in your way. He was a clingy sleeper and kept you in his arms until the morning. When the two of you went out together, he had a habit of reaching for your hand, because Leona claimed you looked like you’d get lost or tricked by some shady salesman otherwise.
And, well, when someone tried to threaten you on an evening walk with Leona, he pounced on them before they could so much as finish raising their knife at you. After Leona had finished, ah, dealing with that person, he turned to you tensely, looking you up and down and raising one hand to touch your cheek so gently you didn’t know what to do other than nod when he asked if you were okay. For the rest of the evening, Leona didn’t let you out of his sight and held you tighter than usual in bed that night.
One day, Ruggie and Jack, his trusted right-hand men, came to take him back to his kingdom for some scheme or another. Much like the first time Leona came over, they were standing in your kitchen when you woke up in the morning (maybe you should teach them how to knock on a door, or invest in stronger locks). Ruggie asked Leona what he planned to do with you, and Leona simply gave you a smirk, one arm possessively pulling you by the waist so you almost fell into his lap. Well, he was much too fond of you to let you go now, so he’d just have to take you back with him to his kingdom.
Your only question was: why? Sure, the two of you had been getting along recently, but you didn’t expect his feelings to take on a more romantic turn. And, sure, you were fond of him, too, but Leona had big plans, and you didn’t want to paint a target on your back. Besides, you weren’t ready to be a part of royalty and deal with all the responsibility that entailed. Leona listened to your reasoning with more grace than you expected... and then, on the spot, decided to conveniently create a hideout in town. He wouldn’t be living in your house anymore, but you were still going to be seeing a lot more of him than you did before. Leona never got rid of his habit of sneaking into your house, either, and sometimes you’d come home and find him napping on your bed. Also, you swore he sent Jack or Ruggie to shadow you whenever you’re out, though they were too smart to let you catch them.
Okay, whatever. So what if you had two villains who wouldn’t leave you alone? You could handle them just fine. Besides, what were the chances you’d get involved with another one? This time, you’d built a fence around your backyard to ward off any dukes in mortal peril, and you spent some extra money to get locks for your windows (though you doubted that would actually stop anyone, not with Ace and Ruggie’s nimble fingers). Also, you were going to keep your head down, and be a good law-abiding citizen, and-- okay, why were two tall men slapping a sign labeled “foreclosure” onto the bakery door? And did the owner just walk out with a man in an elegant suit, who gave you a slimy smile when he noticed you staring? No. No way. It couldn’t be, but it was: it was Azul Ashengrotto, head of the information guild, one of the villainous love interests, and the man who just put you out of a job.
Maybe you offended some powerful deity in your last life, because your luck was downright rotten. You really had no choice but to get involved with Azul this time, because you were not ready to go job-hunting just yet. Who else would be nice enough to give you free food, anyways?
Azul was your friend’s favorite character, and you only vaguely understood why. He was intelligent, handsome, and charming, sure, but he was also two-faced, manipulative and had committed numerous backdoor deals to achieve his position as head of the guild. He was one of the most dangerous men in the world, and someone not to be crossed at all costs. After all, he had eyes and ears all over the place, and was the man to go to if you wanted dirt on anyone. And while he could grant whatever wish you wanted, if you were unable to hold up your end of the deal, then you would end up in pieces at the bottom of the sea.
Underneath all of that, Azul was someone who had clawed his way up from the bottom of the social hierarchy, and would go to any lengths to cover up his past. While you briefly entertained the thought of blackmailing Azul with his secret, you figured it wasn’t worth it when Azul could just order Jade and Floyd, his favorite assistants and bodyguards, to toss you into the sea instead. Unfortunately, you didn’t hold the same leverage over him as you had with Leona. So, that only left you with one real choice: time to figure out why your employer was being put out of business.
Your boss, as it turned out, had signed a contract with Azul. In exchange for a generous loan to start the bakery, your boss was supposed to pay back the loan with a seemingly reasonable interest. Of course, it was actually a predatory deal where the amount of interest being charged was ridiculously high and guaranteed to sink your boss into a never-ending chain of debt. So, what real choice did you have but to try to make a deal with Azul yourself? If worse came to worse, you could probably throw Leona’s influence around, even if it meant Leona would demand some ridiculous fee from you in return.
That was how you found yourself working for Azul as his so-called secretary until you could pay off your boss’s loans. Though he acted generous and kind on the surface, he pushed you hard and expected you to put in overtime without complaint, dangling your precarious situation over your head any time you protested. You acted as the face of the organization, dealing with more normal customers (because, as Azul put it, you didn’t stand out whatsoever and would be perfect for the position) and helping sort through Azul’s less secretive contacts and papers. Eventually, you moved your way up to organizing his schedule, and sometimes he even let you talk with his clients in his place when he was particularly busy.
You couldn’t pin Azul down, but you knew that no matter what, you wouldn’t be able to trust him. You knew the deal you took was shady as hell, liable to blow up in your face at any time, and you were just waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you tried to ask him a question that wasn’t directly related to work, he deflected. In the beginning of your time at his guild, the Leech twins would randomly pop in to check on you, watching you work with unnerving stares. Eventually, they got bored enough they would chat with you sometimes.
As loath as you were to admit it, Azul was not a bad boss. Sure, he expected a lot out of you, but if you rose to his expectations, then you were properly rewarded in return. Somewhere down the line, it felt like Azul started being more open with you... or as open as a man could be in his position. He never overworked you, and though his interest in your health started off as a logical investment, at some point, it started to take on a more... personal bent. He ensured you were eating enough (and maybe cooked you a meal himself), and even provided a room in his guild for when you stayed too late to be able to return home safely. He was always trying to convince you to sleep over instead of going back home, too.
You learned to toe the line with Azul, because if you got at least one reaction out of him, you might be closer to figuring him out. You sat on the edge of Azul’s desk as you delivered your reports, and sometimes it felt like he leaned closer to you. You teased and prodded at him verbally, but he always returned your remarks with a genial smile and brushed off your words. In fact, the closest you got to flustering him was when you told him he looked cute, which led to him dropping all the papers in his arms. Really, you wondered why he let you get away with provoking him, because your moves always got bolder the less he reprimanded you.
Sometimes you thought Azul was observing you as much as you were observing him. Out of the corner of your eye, you’d catch him staring at you, but whenever you turned around to check, he’d always be buried in one document or the other, though his ears were bright red. But hey, a great employee perk was that Azul had started inviting you out to dinner at fancy restaurants you’d normally never be able to afford, under the excuse of “observing some potential clients.” He’d even gifted you expensive jewelry, claiming he couldn’t let his employees look unprofessional, but he was always smiling whenever he saw you wearing his necklace around the guild. Floyd and Jade had even thanked you once for making “Azul even more entertaining to be around,” whatever that meant.
And then one afternoon, Jade and Floyd asked you to come to Azul’s office. You wondered if he’d finally grown tired of having you around and wanted to get rid of you (permanently), but instead, all Azul did was hold out the contract you made with him. If he forgave all of the bakery’s debt and annulled the current contract, would you be his lover? Sure, he was planning on using you at first, but now? He didn’t think he wanted to let you go.
There had to be some sort of mistake. Azul had fallen in love with you? It had to be a record to have three villains chasing after you. Sure, you really enjoyed his company (and the great employee benefits he offered), but it didn’t feel right to enter a relationship like this. Wouldn’t it create a weird power imbalance? And again, like with Riddle and Leona, being his lover would make you a highly vulnerable target. When you explained all of this to Azul, he tore up your contract without a second thought and sent you home. You ended up back at your old job, all loans paid off, and things seemingly back to normal. However, Azul had decided to generously sponsor the bakery you worked in. He insisted on stopping by with Floyd and Jade to ensure everything was running smoothly, but all he ended up doing was finding every excuse to talk to you and stick by your side.
At this point, you’d decided to accept your fate. Every time you told yourself you wouldn’t get involved with another villain, the world would just throw one at you as if in mockery. So, fine. Since it was all out of your control, you decided you wouldn’t even worry about it anymore. One day, while you were out in town, you heard excited whispers around the square. Curious, you inquired what was happening from a group of giggly girls, and learned that Kalim Al-Asim, the richest merchant in town, was holding a party. Everyone was invited, and there was going to be free food and entertainment galore! There was no way you were going to pass up on this opportunity, especially since Kalim was one of your favorite characters in the original novel. There was one caveat, though: Jamil Viper, Kalim’s most competent advisor, was another villainous love interest. Still, you had promised yourself you were going to do whatever you wanted, and you weren’t passing up this chance to have some fun.
To call the party lavish would be an understatement. There was a veritable mountain of food, an entire orchestra, and it seemed like everyone in the country was invited. You were in the corner, sipping a drink and taking a break from dancing, when you saw Kalim laughing with some members of the nobility. You smiled at how animated he was... and then you saw it. Someone slipped something into his drink. Before you even knew what you were doing, you sprinted over and knocked the cup out of his hand as a crowd of people stared at you. Well, shit.
Honestly, what were you supposed to do? Let Kalim Al-Asim, your favorite character, die? You’d read the novel, so you knew he survived an attempted assassination at a party, but you hadn’t suspected the incident would take place here and now. You didn’t regret your decision, but you were certain one of those nobles was going to throw you into a dungeon for your disrespectful act. But then Kalim took your hands in his and asked why you did what you did. He looked earnest, and you told him the truth: you saw someone slip something into his drink.
There was an uproar following your announcement. Guards swarmed the floor, and people ran around in confusion, and at least one noble accused you of lying. You thought about escaping in the sudden disarray, because you’d already done whatever you could by telling Kalim what happened. Before you could even take one step, Kalim thrust you into the arms of someone behind you, yelling at them to take care of you while he handled the situation. You turned around... and met the face of Jamil Viper, who looked less than thrilled by Kalim’s words.
In the novel, Jamil was Kalim’s childhood friend, and his family had been a vassal to the Al-Asims since the founding of the kingdom. Though Kalim saw Jamil as his most trusted retainer and loyal friend, Jamil was less than pleased with his lot in life. He would be forced to work in the shadows forever, doing all of the dirty work that kept Kalim safe in the sunlight. You remembered how many fans had loved their complicated dynamic, and how Jamil struggled with his decision to betray Kalim, who was still his childhood friend. Still, it was something you’d rather read about than be caught in the middle of. Right now, Jamil was appraising you, trying to determine your potential value as a piece in his numerous plans. You wondered what he would do if he found you lacking.
Without another word, Jamil dragged you with him as he calmed people down and directed the guards. He was terrifyingly competent, but he kept an iron grip on your wrist the entire time. By the time the commotion died down, Jamil took you to meet Kalim, who was waiting for you in a lavish parlor. As Kalim explained it, you had luckily foiled some assassin’s plans, but now there was the possibility you could be in danger. He earnestly grasped your hands and asked if you’d stay in his manor until they caught whoever did this. It wasn’t like you were going to refuse, but with the way Jamil glared at you, you didn’t think you had a choice in the first place. Kalim may have wanted you to stay out of the goodness of his heart, but it was clear Jamil didn’t trust you at all.
Your life in the Asim manor wasn’t that bad, to be honest. Everyone was generally friendly, even though you were expected to wake up at the crack of dawn to follow Jamil around so he could “keep an eye on you.” You ended up helping him with his assignments, surprisingly enough. There was nothing else to do, the servants wouldn’t let you help out, and you felt an inkling of pity at the mountain of paperwork piled on his desk and the line of people who demanded his attention. Jamil tried to stop you, but it was clear he really did need the help, so he relented. It was a good thing your time with Azul prepared you for assistant work, so you were efficient at organizing papers and managing people, marking down any important meetings or documents that required his immediate attention. You heard more than one servant giggle about how Jamil didn’t let just anyone follow him, so you must be very special (yeah, special because he thought you were connected to the person threatening Kalim’s life).
Still, despite his apparent dislike of you, and the fact he was almost as much of a hardass as Azul, Jamil acknowledged when you did a good job with a hand on your head. He never told you that he appreciated your help, but you got the sense that he did when he told you to take a break or asked a servant to prepare your favorite drink. The two of you really started to grow closer after you saw him paralyzed in the corner of his office one afternoon when you were bringing in some reports. You thought something was wrong... only for Jamil to point at a caterpillar crawling on his desk. You brought it outside on a piece of paper, and Jamil swore you to secrecy on his phobia. After that, you were the one he went to when he needed someone to dispose of any insects flying too close to him. It was honestly pretty cute, and you weren’t above teasing him by pretending there was a bug on his shoulder when Jamil was being overbearing.
Sometimes, you caught him in the kitchen, whipping up meals for Kalim. This way, he explained, Kalim wouldn’t have to use a poison taster. Jamil would offer you a sip of the soup or wipe off a smear of flour that’d gotten on your face. You’d swing your legs as you sat on the counter and watched him work. The two of you chatted idly, and you were always surprised at how easily conversation flowed with him: you got the feeling Jamil never had the opportunity to take off his mask and reveal his meaner, conniving side very often. And, well, maybe you noticed that he laughed when he was with you, more often than he did with anyone else.
Despite your role as his temporary assistant, Jamil never let you attend any of his important meetings. You were then left to hang out with Kalim, who was more than happy to make room for you in his schedule, or to wait for Jamil to finish. Today, Jamil was meeting with a trade partner, so you opted to wait for him, because Kalim was busy entertaining the rest of the guest’s party. Everything had been so quiet, you’d forgotten that someone was targeting both your and Kalim’s lives. It wasn’t until you were waving your hand in greeting at Jamil, who’d just finished his meeting, and you saw a look of genuine fear pass over Jamil’s face as something sharp struck your back, that you realized, oh. This wasn’t just a novel anymore, was it? It was your life, and the last thing you saw before you passed out was Jamil running toward you.
In the infirmary, when you woke up, you realized Jamil was holding your hand tightly, sleeping on a chair next to your bed. Kalim was there too, his face streaked with tears as he whispered that he was glad you were okay. An assassin had shot you with a poisoned arrow, but they had caught him, and now they knew the location of the group who had been attempting to assassinate Kalim. Jamil had carried you in his arms to the infirmary and had refused to leave your side for even a moment. You were safe now, but Kalim had to take care of some more business, so rest up, and he’d come see you again.
When Kalim left and you turned to look at Jamil, you saw that he was awake now... or had he been awake the whole time Kalim was talking? Regardless, Jamil looked at you so tenderly it took your breath away. He asked if you would stay with him forever, so he could protect you and dispose of any fool who tried to hurt you, starting with the assassins who had dared to lay a hand on you.
Honestly, it was a lot to take in after you had just woken up from an attempt on your life. You really had grown to care for Jamil, but you weren’t ready for further near-death experiences, especially when you knew the treasonous thoughts Jamil harbored would put him in danger. And while Jamil may be a villain, he was not a terrible guy. When you refused his offer, he let you go with little fuss. Of course, that was not going to be the last you saw of him, because when had your life ever been easy? The very next morning, you found Jamil casually perusing the bakery’s goods, telling you that Kalim had suddenly become very, very fond of the pastries here, and that Jamil was going to be stopping by daily to pick up Kalim’s orders. He would appreciate it if you helped him with that. The way Jamil phrased it, though, made it sound like more of a date than an official visit.
Fortunately, the next few weeks went by smoothly (if you didn’t include the men that kept vying for your attention with increasingly convoluted plans). You were mostly just healing from your injuries while Riddle, Leona, Azul and Jamil used that as an excuse to visit you and lavish gifts upon you. One day, there was a knock on the bakery door as you were about to close up, and you found a very beautiful man around your age standing outside. His name was Epel, and he wanted to work for room and board. The name struck warning bells in your head. When you took a closer look, you noticed that underneath his worn cloak his clothes looked finely tailored; he was obviously a noble, but why would a noble want a job? When you pressed Epel for answers, he hesitated, before admitting that he’d run away from home, but he wasn’t originally a nobleman, so he wouldn’t be useless at all! And then it hit you all at once: Epel was the heir and protege of Vil Schoenheit, an infamously beautiful marquess, and the fifth villainous love interest. You could turn him away, but you couldn’t say no to his puppy dog eyes and the exhaustion plain on his face, could you? So Epel took the spare room in your house, and you braced yourself for the inevitable encounter with Vil.
A few days passed with no incidents. Epel was a wonderful roommate (far better than Riddle and Leona) as he knew how to cook and clean and did his fair share of chores. It was a bonus, you privately thought, that you had more customers than usual because of Epel’s pretty face. The two of you had become fast friends when one morning, a fancy carriage stopped outside your bakery, and in strode a hooded nobleman and his retainer. One toss of the nobleman’s hood revealed Vil Schoenheit, a scowl on his beautiful face as he stared Epel down. He’d come to take Epel home, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer, even as Epel glared at him right back.
Despite the fact you knew the root of their antagonism, you still never wanted to be dropped right in the middle of it. The tension was so heavy you wanted to make excuses and leap for the break room. Still, it was hard to tear your gaze away from Vil’s face; a written description really couldn’t do justice to the most beautiful man you had ever seen, even though he barely spared you at glance.
It was almost funny that despite his appearance, Vil hadn’t been born into nobility; no, his father married into it, and despite all the gossip and rumors about their common origins (and Vil’s uncanny talent with poisons), he had clawed his way to the top of high society, bringing fame to the Schoenheit name. He had made it... until his seat was stolen by Neige LeBlanche, the new darling of the noble world. One day, while on a trip, Vil had spotted Epel working as a farmhand and, intrigued by the potential he saw in him, he made Epel his heir and protege. Epel was only several years younger than him, and accepted the offer on the condition that Vil would support his family. Epel, in return, was to help Vil overthrow Neige so Vil’s family could regain their previous prestige. It was supposed to be a foolproof plan, but was made impossible by their clashing personalities and stubbornness.
Really, you knew why Vil acted the way he did, but that didn’t mean you were just going to stand there and let him drag away Epel when your friend looked miserable. When you stepped in between the two of them, Vil finally took a look at you. You could see the gears turning in his head as Epel pulled you back and yelled at Vil not to do anything to you. You could hardly believe the words that came out when Vil opened his mouth: perhaps Epel would have an incentive to try harder at his various lessons on the nobility if he had a friend to accompany him in the manor. It sounded like an awful idea to you, but Epel’s eyes lit up immediately. You liked Epel, yeah, but you hadn’t even known him for that long, and you had a social (?) life-- Vil offered to reward you generously for your time and you immediately headed back home to pack.
When you got to the manor, you started to suspect Vil should have added ‘family counselor’ to the description of his initial offer. Most of the time it felt like you were acting as mediator in Epel and Vil’s relationship and trying to get the two to compromise on at least one thing before the manor burst into flames from their heated glares. You’ve had to deal with testy personalities before (getting your friends/suitors/villainous acquaintances not to strangle each other is a feat in and of itself), but whenever Epel gripped your arm and yelled that the two of you were going to run away, Vil would turn his disapproval in your direction, and you could see him considering whenever he should poison you or not.
Your relationship with Vil was... frosty, to say the least. You were only there to serve as motivation for Epel, and outside of that, he didn’t pay you any attention. You barely got to see him because he was so busy with his work. If you needed anything, then you would just have to talk to Rook, Vil’s right hand man and retainer. At least everyone in the manor was under the order to make your stay as comfortable as possible, so Vil was looking out for you in his own way... or he just didn’t want to ruin his reputation by being seen as a horrible host.
Really, you expected to wind up only distant acquaintances with Vil. At least you did until the evening Vil visited you with an envelope in his hand and asked you to accompany him to a party as his partner. Swarms of pesky suitors kept knocking on his door, and he was getting a headache dealing with all of them. So why not play the part of his lover while you stayed in the manor? He’d make sure you were properly compensated for this as well, of course. You had no reason to refuse after that, but the party ended up being a bit of a disaster. You couldn’t keep up with all of the nobles questioning you, and it was only due to Vil’s smooth-talking that you didn’t fall flat on your face. Vil had prepped you on what to say, but a bit of practice was nothing compared to all those judgemental eyes on you.
After that horrible first party, the two of you opted to spend more time getting to know each other in order to make the ruse a success. You ate dinner together every night and would spend at least an hour talking and getting to know each other. Something you hadn’t expected was how attentive Vil was. You only needed to vaguely mention you got cold at night and the next thing you knew there was a roaring fire and piles of fluffy blankets in your room. You didn’t even realize Vil knew anything about you until he had your favorite meals served during dinner, or your favorite flowers planted in the gardens when you went out on walks.
The two of you went around town on so-called dates to really reinforce the deception. You dined on a variety of fine foods you would normally never be able to afford, and Vil seemed to smile at your enthusiasm, even as he scolded you over your table manners. You held onto his arm, and he would point out nobles in the streets and all the pertinent information you should know about them. He was clever, and it was hard not to be swept up in his pace, not when you saw firsthand how hard he worked for his goals. He would gift you with clothing and tell you not to worry over the expense; Vil couldn’t have his so-called lover looking shabby, could he?
It didn’t stop there. When you popped up during Epel’s ballroom dancing lessons, Vil had you dance with him to show Epel how the steps looked, his grip on you secure the whole time. And he never put you in an uncomfortable situation; the second you showed any hesitation to keep mingling with pushy nobles, he left the ballroom early, or led you onto the balcony to catch your breath. When you were cold, he would pull his cloak around you without another word, his gloved hand warming yours. He played the part of lover so well, and looked at you so tenderly, there were times you forgot this was simply fake. When did the distance between the two of you shrink? When did you start enjoying your time together, and when did he start seeking you out during his every spare moment?
One morning, during a stroll in the gardens together, Vil took your hand in his and kissed the back of yours. You were so stunned you almost missed him asking if you wanted to make your engagement official. He hadn’t expected to fall for you this hard, and Epel adored you, so why not become a Schoenheit yourself?
It was funny to you that this was the second time you had been proposed to by a member of the nobility. And from two villains, no less, who hadn’t known you very long in the grand scheme of things. Still, you didn’t think you could handle staying in high society and fighting verbal battles for the rest of your life. When you turned Vil down (THE most eligible bachelor in high society), he only hummed and said he respected your decision. However, you discovered soon after that Vil had bought a vacation home close to your town in an effort to help Epel acclimate to urban life even though there were much bigger towns out there. You found yourself bumping into Vil far too often to be a coincidence, and you wondered if he asked his retainer, Rook, to keep tabs on you. Vil seemed to look more and more beautiful each time you saw him, to the point he might start blinding people if he wasn’t careful.
After your exhausting trip to Vil’s manor, all you wanted to do was rest and catch up with your friends. You had even missed your villainous associates/suitors, weirdly enough. You were sort of friends with them too, right? But that was beside the point. You had no doubt that another villain would stumble onto your path sooner or later. There were only two more you had yet to meet, and you wanted to enjoy what peace you had before the sixth one landed on your doorstep. Well, you should have known better by now than to jinx yourself, because the very next morning, you found a shivering, hooded man being pushed around by some local goons. After you scared them off by yelling for the guards, you went up to the man to see what you could do to help him... only to come face to face with Idia Shroud, magical genius and sixth villainous love interest. Oh, great.
You contemplated leaving Idia to his fate on the streets, but the way he looked so nervous and out of place tugged at your heart. He gave off the impression of a soaking wet cat, and you’d always been fond of animals. Besides, he had ‘easy mark’ written all over him, and despite his magical prowess, you were pretty sure he’d be targeted by another thief before long. So with a sigh, you started cleaning out your spare guest room for him (which had seen far too much use lately). Idia didn’t talk the whole time you walked home with him, and didn’t even give you a thanks when you offered him a mug of hot tea. Still, it didn’t bother you too much, not when you knew his past.
In the novel, Idia was a once in a century genius, born to a long line of talented mages, who’d practiced magic since the founding of the kingdom. It was pretty much guaranteed he would take over the magic tower, the central source of authority for mages all over the country, just like his parents before him. However, the Shrouds were infamous due to a curse on their family: no one was sure who first cast the curse (a god, some whispered), but the Shrouds were cursed with misfortune. Nothing ever went right for them, and they would never be happy. Idia was a prime example of this. His parents kept their distance from him, and Idia’s little brother, Ortho, died in an accident. In his grief, Idia created a homunculus using forbidden magic who looked and acted like Ortho. Ever since the original Ortho’s death, Idia had locked himself up in the tower to conduct research and stew in his grief. Of course, he was still a formidable mage who had no qualms about striking down anyone who got in his way, experimenting with dark magic and blatantly refusing any request unless it struck his interest.
For once, you were frustrated that you hadn’t finished the book before you were transmigrated. If you had, then you would know the solution to Idia’s curse. At any rate, you were certain the way to end the curse had to do with the heroine (wasn’t that how it always went with romance stories?) but... weirdly enough, you hadn’t seen her around anywhere, or even heard word of the crown prince being engaged. Well, you would try to keep an eye out for her, and hope that Hera meeting Idia would do something about his curse.
It didn’t surprise you one ounce that Idia basically holed himself up in your guest room as soon as possible. He refused to talk about what he was doing here, his past, or much of anything at all, for that matter. He only muttered that he would pay you for rent and his share of the food, and then kept the door firmly locked. Sometimes he would slide you some extra money along with a little note of magical ingredients he wanted you to pick up.
Idia wasn’t the worst roommate in the world; the two of you left each other well enough alone. Still, it got a little boring to sit by yourself in the living room when you heard him tinkering with some invention or the other in his room. You ended up sliding little notes to him under the door, sometimes accompanied by a doodle. You knew he read them, but you never got a response back. It became a habit, actually. You would slide a note under his door before work and then be on your way.
But one day, you got a response. You had simply asked what he wanted for dinner before you left for your shift in the morning, and in the evening, there was a reply waiting right outside his door. “Something sweet,” he had written. You smiled, a bit delighted that he finally replied. From then on, the two of you started exchanging notes. It gave you something to look forward to in the evenings; when you got home, there would be a piece of paper waiting for you outside Idia’s door. The notes eventually turned into letters, and it felt like you had a pen pal... even though he was only living several feet away from you.
Idia slowly opened up over the course of your correspondence. He was surprisingly blunt and even a bit smug, though you made sure to tease him in return for every snarky line he wrote. He had run away from home because he didn’t want to take over the family business. He appreciated you letting him stay here, but wasn’t it sort of foolish to house a random stranger in your own home? (You had to reply that wasn’t it foolish of him to just follow you home with no idea of your intentions?)
One day, when you came home, you found no note by his door. You knocked on it worriedly, before you heard Idia’s voice for the first time in ages: “come in.” And so you did. Idia was sitting on his bed, looking down, and began mumbling something so fast you couldn’t hear him. You got the gist of it, though; he had cast some spells on your house in order to fortify its protections. If anyone with ill intentions, like a thief, tried to set foot inside, they would immediately be frozen stiff. And there was now an alarm system in place, and... his voice trailed off, and you told him that you were grateful for what he had done, which caused his hair to flare bright and pink.
After that, though the two of you still passed notes, Idia started venturing outside of his room more often. You could find him on the couch reading when you got home from work, or skulking in the kitchen, tinkering with the appliances which he called “horrendously outdated.” You even started eating dinner together, and it was nice having company, though Idia always retreated back to his room afterwards. You were now allowed to come into his room and examine his makeshift workshop, though you had to give Idia advance warning.
One evening, there was a knock on your door. When you got up to answer it, Idia cowering in the kitchen, you found a little boy on your doorstep. His name was Ortho, and he had come to take Idia home. Idia refused on the spot, though when Ortho looked close to crying and asked if Idia wouldn’t come home because of him, Idia rushed over to hug and comfort him. It was decided that Ortho would stay with the two of you and function as Idia’s assistant. With the arrival of his little brother, Idia admitted his true identity to you. You pretended to be shocked and promised you wouldn’t think of Idia any differently.
Ortho was extremely helpful; he did Idia’s share of the chores, and even knew how to cook, though you refused to let him do too much work. Homunculus or not, he was still ten years old. Idia tended to venture outside of his room more now that Ortho was there, and sometimes the three of you would play games together after dinner. Ortho was adorable... but he also seemed determined to set you up with his big brother. He always found some method to get the two of you alone for extended periods of time, or kept very loudly and obviously talking up all of Idia’s good points.
It was cute, even if it was a little troublesome at times. One of Ortho’s attempts led to the two of you being locked out in the garden. You gave Idia your coat in case he got cold... and then he took your hand in his. He couldn’t even look you in the eye, and started speaking so fast you had to ask him to repeat several of his sentences. Still, what Idia ended up confessing was that he had fallen in love with you, and that he was planning on finding a way to end the curse because he didn’t want something bad to happen to you. Would you be willing to wait for him until then?
Really, what could you do, other than squeeze his hands and tell him not to be a stranger? You would help him however you could! Of course, you were open about the five other men who were very energetically vying for your attention, and the fact you were reluctant to get into a relationship. Idia seemed a bit relieved at that (though you swore you heard him mutter an insult or two about the other villains), and said that was fine. The two of you could sort out your business on your own time. So Idia moved back home with Ortho, though the two of you still kept in constant contact through letters. Sometimes, Idia would teleport himself directly on your doorstep because he got impatient to see you again.
So you had adopted another villain into your little group. However, now you had some time to consider what the hell was going on. Where was the heroine? You had been so distracted by the whirlwind of events around you, you had forgotten the story’s original premise. It was the heroine who was supposed to catch the eyes of all these villains, not you. What happened? She was supposed to be engaged to Malleus Draconia, but you hadn’t heard a single word about the crown prince being engaged. It was too much to think about; maybe you would try to do some research of your own instead of spinning around in circles. You decided to contact Azul for information, who promised to get back to you as soon as he could. One day, while waiting, you realized there was a new hooded customer in your bakery, someone who looked a little lost as he glanced around all the baked goods. You headed over to explain things to him, and as you did, your eyes froze on his. Green, with slit pupils... the only one who had eyes like that was... oh. Oh, no way. This was the final villainous love interest, and the male lead: Malleus Draconia, the crown prince.
What the heck was Malleus doing in your bakery? You racked your brain, and remembered that he had a habit of sneaking out of the castle in the story. It was funny that as soon as you had started to look into the heroine, he appeared in front of you. Maybe this could be a good way to look into where the heroine went. The story had already gone off course because of your presence, you knew that, but it didn’t explain why Hera hadn’t shown up.
Malleus, it turned out, was interested in the various goods you had on sale. His eyes sparkled when you told him it was all freshly baked daily, and he was eager to take the samples you offered him. It was cute how he tried to hand you a sack of gold coins for a loaf of bread, though you politely handed the entire stack back and told him only one would be enough. It made sense that he was out of touch with the world around him, though.
From the novel, you remembered that the Draconia family had founded the current kingdom, and were said to be descendants of a great dragon who once ruled the lands. They were the oldest family and had established most of the nobility, including the Rosehearts household. However, despite their legacy, the Draconias were feared precisely due to the draconic blood in their veins, which made them faster, stronger and longer-living than the average citizen. Malleus had been raised strictly in order to succeed the throne, and he rarely had time to himself. Surrounded by people with ill intentions, and always having to put his kingdom first, it was no wonder he had fallen so hard for Hera in the original story. She was the only one who treated him like a normal person, and you found their relationship surprisingly cute as they navigated the trials of being a couple. Of course, he was still a villain at the end of the day, and would have burned the world down to keep his beloved safe.
When you waved goodbye to Malleus that day, you had not expected that you would find him wandering around the markets the next evening. He looked as lost as ever, and seemed to cheer up when he noticed your presence. As you walked around to look at various goods, Malleus followed you and questioned you on the purpose of each stall. You ended up buying him some street food and a little gargoyle charm he had been eyeing. Before you parted ways for the night, Malleus grabbed your hand, asking if he could see you again. You told him to come to the bakery anytime, and that when you had an off day, you would take him around again.
Somehow, because of that, Malleus Draconia started visiting your bakery every morning, and he would even come to see you on your days off. He was a pleasant companion; the conversation between you two flowed naturally, and his naivete was charming. You would often spend time walking around, chatting idly about the town news, as Malleus drank up your every word. He was intensely curious about the mundane aspects of life in your town, but he was also curious as to your life, too. You found yourself opening up about memories from your original world, even if you were careful to phrase it in such a way that Malleus didn’t realize you were a transmigrator.
On other days, you would take him to town and watch his eyes light up at children’s toys, wandering musicians and even the cats that lazed in alleyways. You would always make sure to sample some new street food with him, which Malleus insisted on paying for (you felt your jaw drop at the mountain of gold he casually carried around on his person. It was lucky he was so strong or he would have been robbed in an instant). The stores the two of you liked perusing the most were antique shops. Malleus would wax poetic on their origins and you would make up silly stories about their past owners, which often made him laugh.
Once, it had started raining on one of your evening walks, so Malleus had to stay the night at your house. As you prepared some spare clothes and towels for him, he unexpectedly drew closer to you, telling you that he had a confession to make. You tensed, afraid that he was going to confess his love to you, as seemed to often happen to you these days... only for Malleus to lower his hood and reveal that he was the crown prince, which made you more than a little embarrassed at your assumption.
On his head, though, grew two pairs of horns. It was a physical reminder of his heritage, and what people tended to stare at whenever he appeared at official events. He had greatly enjoyed your company over these weeks, but he didn’t want your relationship to be founded on a lie. It didn’t feel right to hide such an important fact about himself anymore. You admitted to him that you had sort of figured out who he was from the start, so it wasn’t a big deal. The two of you were friends now, weren’t you?
Well, after that, Malleus started sending carriages to pick you up and take you to the palace. His best knights, Silver and Sebek, always accompanied you (though you swore Sebek threw you dirty looks when Malleus came running to greet you). Malleus insisted on spoiling you, too (his personal advisor, Lilia, whispered that Malleus was simply excited to have a friend to invite home for the first time). He would treat you to entire feasts and show you valuable historical artifacts, and even offered to throw a party in your name-- though you had to stop him before he actually went through with that plan.
He even offered to set up a room for you in the palace, and to give you a noble title if that was what you desired. You’d never have to work a day in your life again (which was tempting, honestly). You almost forgot Malleus was a villain-- at least, you did until you complained about a customer bothering you and he asked if you wanted to make it so that they were never heard from again. You had stumbled your way into his inner circle, and if anyone ever crossed you, he would be sure to deal with them appropriately.
During another one of your visits to Malleus’s palace, you get the sense that something was different. Sebek and Silver were more alert than usual, and even Lilia was throwing you an amused glance every now and then. It wasn’t until you reached the parlor and opened the door to Malleus handing you a bouquet of your favorite flowers that you realized what was going on. Malleus told you that you had become someone unbearably precious to him, and he would do anything to make you smile. Would you do the honor of becoming his spouse, and the next co-ruler of the kingdom?
Well, congratulations, you thought to yourself. Somehow you’d collected the full set of villains from the original novel. It took you a second to get your bearings, and you gave the same spiel to Malleus that you gave to the other villains: you weren’t ready for a relationship, being future royalty was too much pressure, and so on. You practically had it memorized at this point from how often you needed to say it. He accepted it with grace, and told you the offer would always be open to you. Life continued on for you in much the same way as it did before, except now the crown prince would invite you on luxurious outings or show up at your door so the two of you could go on walks around town.
That was it... or so you thought. A few days later, Azul contacted you with a full set of information on Hera Winn. You’d almost forgotten you’d requested him to look into her, what with the crown prince proposing to you and all. As soon as you got the information, you rushed to her location to figure things out.
You found Hera Winn lounging at a cafe, a pile of desserts piled high and several books open on the table before her. When she saw you, however, she got up immediately, tears in her eyes... and leaned in to hug you.
Huh?
Before you could get too confused, though, Hera explained that when she was born, she had memories of her past life, and of reading I’ve Become the Villain’s Lover! She really did not want to follow the plot of the original story and, using her knowledge of it, gained fabulous wealth from various gambling ventures and business investments. She offered you some pastries while she talked, and while your mouth was full, said that she was so, so happy that you had come along and basically caught everyone’s attention. Now she never had to deal with them again. Good luck! Maybe the two of you could reminisce over your old world together sometime, hm?
With that, she left you, and you buried your head in your hands with a groan. You wanted to beg her to come back, but it wasn’t like she could take your spot now, not with all the villains so thoroughly in love with you.
Really, what were you going to do? The villains seemed content to wait for your decision, even if they got into spats with each other here and there. You could choose one of them, you could choose all, or you could choose none: the decision was truly yours. It looked like you were now the main character of I’ve Become the Villain’s Lover!, whether you liked it or not.
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shkanoin · 2 months ago
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calling your boyfriends ‘bro’, the electric boogaloo
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kalims · 21 days ago
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jealousy, jealousy,
I reckon yuu has atleast some people admiring them for their 'heroic' acts for each dorms, ironically enough
characters. riddle, leona, azul, kalim, vil, idia, malleus.
includes. gn!reader, flowers aren't limited to girls.
cw. each has a student from their dorm/another liking reader, book 5 spoilers? kinda.
note. this was supposed to be for celebrating 4k and originally I had a fic that I was supposed to publish but I got really busy w/ school and stuff so I supposed I'll just drop this 😚 I'm also sick btw *cries
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if someone asked you; "what do you think the students see you as?" you'd probably answer, "a wannabe I guess." technically you were sure that you were right about your guess. if there's anything that you'd know about a school that worships villians is that they'd hate someone whose the polar opposite.
which is you, with you basically 'saving' the dorm leaders and all. atleast the person in question didn't seem to pick at you for helping them and not going like 'I don't need your help.'
which is also why you're.. shocked to say the least when some random student you can't say that looks familiar hands you a bouquet of flowers, clearly flushing at your stare. you notice a white envelope tucked into the variety of flowers as well as a box of chocolates.
funnily enough you wondered if twisted wonderland celebrated valentines day on a different month.
albeit the possibly hundred other gazes from the other people. why'd they have to do this in the cafeteria exactly? it would've saved you the trouble if they did it on a more private scale.
you can only smile at them politely. honesty feeling a mixture of embarrassment and shyness cause you've never received such a bold confession yourself. "thank you?" you feel a little bad when they deflate at your short answer to their gifts but nevertheless pleased.
"you're welcome. I tried to pick out the flowers for someone as special as you but it can't compare." they absent-mindedly state. you can't hide the grin on your face, you just met this person and they're already flattering you. it feels nice to be appreciated.
kinda cringe but you take it back this person is really cool.
— riddle rosehearts
bystander number 1. who wants to collar that person by anger, along with jealousy then proceed to stomp away. riddle would actually do that but only when you're not around cause you'd probably not be too happy if he punishes your 'friend' and he wants you to see him as the 😇 reliable young lad everyone loves.
suddenly had the will to impress you and one upped everything the other person did. so they got a 49 on the magical analysis test? that's too bad, riddle got 50. get on his level. so they answer correctly only when called? well riddle's voluntarily raising his hand and getting them all correct. oh they can cook?
oh well. he can do everything else better else than cooking so it doesn't really matter. you'd be a fool to choose someone else over him. but he supposes its part of the charm, infatuatingly enough.
— leona kingscholar
bystander number 2 who either just doesn't care or is secretly really mad. knowing leona it's probably the latter because it's leona and if there's something he hates it's probably getting upped by some random person whom he's clearly better than. you must be really blind if you have the audacity to ramble about said person to him.
went really grumpy for the span of days to weeks. ruggie literally would do anything you ask if it meant that leona's gonna be to his old self, lazy sure but he didn't used to place this much work on him!
your fault or not you'd probably also get affected by his drastic change of attitude. bro literally ignored you as well as everyone else, reverting to his mean self but treating you with more bitterness. it's probably not your fault but he doesn't regret a thing because you actually look upset when he pays you no mind. so you do feel something for him 😒😏. flashbacks to kaeya
— azul ashengrotto
bystander number 3. who's borderlining between wanting to get depressed then crawl in his octo pot to cry and absolutely ruining everything this random cheap made. I mean, really? those aren't even your favorite flowers! where did they get them, at the nearest dollar store? if he were them he'd give you the most expensive flowers you'd ever lay your eyes on!
and that's what he does actually; literally showed up on your doorstep with a handsome smile and gave you the most prettiest flowers you've seen yet. consider yourself charmed! bro literally made you forget about that other person for days until you saw them like a month later which is kinda bizarre..
the twins don't let you know that azul put them up on a 'job' to keep em' away. but it does use for good blackmail material against the jealous octopus.
— kalim al asim
bystander number 4. legit doesn't get jealous. kalim literally is just happy that you have admirers like him because you deserve it! he'd be more upset if you didn't have admirers honestly. okay but lowkey though, he isn't trying to compete at all but you receive a large bouquet, definitely much grander than the one you received and a heartfelt letter tucked into it.
how was that person supposed to win you over when kalim does it better?? ok but this is like the jamil situation in book 5 LOL.
if he actually somehow gets jealous he feels bad because he knows he'll do it better ( not condescending /gen ) so he just resorts to trying to win your affection and forgets about not trying then completely overshadowed the other person's previous attempts. bro only spared a 'I feel bad' look then smiling again because yay! you like him better now :)
— vil schoenheit
bystander number 5. AKA, the one who knows he'll do better and actually does do it better ( condescending ). vil doesn't even bother doing anything cause he trusts you enough to make the.. correct, choice. you do know that he's one of the most sought off person in the world, right? you'd be a fool to not see that.
okay but maybe he is a little paranoid that you actually will choose them so he actually does put in effort..
I mean nearly everyone is scared terrified of rook right? what's one more person to the count? he totally does not purposely send out rook to stalk them so he can expose them on social media .. or make him stall them somewhere so he has the chance to whisk you away and you losing the ability to see them for this day.. oh well, it's better to just spend it with vil since you're free anyways..
— idia shroud
bystander number 6 who was there but actually not there..? physically not present but he was there, somehow.. *looks at camera in the far, FAR corner of the ceiling*. idia doesn't know whether to start crying because you actually looked happy with their CRINGE. confession.. the crying is a more intense period than azul's btw.
or.. actually there's no or, that's just what he's gonna do. close his electronic device, crawl into his bed and cry into his body pillow. fear not. little brother ortho to the rescue! ortho actually suggested destroying any evidence of a 'disappearance' if that poor soul just happened to not be present for years but idia quickly shot that idea down, he actually pondered on agreeing but no way he's gonna let them win by that!
hijacks all their phones, PC's, whatever other stuff so that it's completely off, no other person can fix it besides him. and he's definitely not gonna do that so the person ghosts you for weeks, so you get mad and ghost them irl.. wow his masterplan actually worked. no ortho pls don't force me to 'comfort' them..
— malleus draconia
bystander number 7 who genuinely doesn't see the appeal of this basic little b— human :). like? hello?? he's right here, open your eyes child of man. no need to tolerate the pathetic display they just did that doesn't live up to your very existence, they might as well compare you to gravel on the floor from how poor they executed their weird analogy.
he could legit go on and on about every single feature you have, your eyes, mouth, face, shape.. he would present you a microsoft presentation for it if you ask and it literally is godly description type of thing. you could finish listening to one of them and you'd be in TEARS ☠.
bros so sentimental. he thanks lilia for the advice of microsoft presentation because you now look completely convinced. malleus has the pride to spare the other person a smirk when your attention is fully on him :D.
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*Floyd with short Mc*
Floyd: Ooooooh shriiiimpyyyy where are you.
Mc: Floyd you don't have to shout I'm right next to you.
Floyd: Where is Shrimpy? I don't see them anywhere.
Mc: Look down Floyd I'm here.
Floyd: Like I hear Shrimpy's voice but I can't see them anywhere.
Mc: *kick Floyd*
Floyd: OUCH! Shrimpy what the heck. That wasan't nice.
Mc: Floyd I cured your blindness. Shouldn't you say thank you? If you go blind again I'll kick you again.
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butterflyemi · 4 months ago
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— Accidentally calling the NRC Staffs ‘dad’
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Tags & Notes | Any Pronouns! Reader, humor, fluff. I apologize if the characters are OOC. Stay safe and healthy everyone! <3
Warnings | Crowley.
•─────────────────•
DIRE CROWLEY
It was on accident, you swear-
Now you have a grown ass adult clinging to you.
Begging you to say it one more time.
“CHILD! PLEASE! JUST SAY IT ONE MORE TIME!” You tried removing his hands off you but it’s no use.
You sigh in defeat and turned to Crowley with a forced smile.
“Dad, please get off of me” Your tone sharp, practically threatening him.
Crowley finally lets go off as he starts tearing up, distracted by you calling him ‘dad’ instead of ‘sir or ‘headmaster’.
Which gives you the time to get back to your friends before they do something stupid.
DIVUS CREWEL
Your eyes widened once you let that word slip out of your mouth as the classroom grows quiet.
You both stare at each other with no words exchange.
That was until Crewel started grinning to himself as he clasped his hands.
“I am touched pup” You awkwardly laughed as he continued.
“Now tell me, who is the better father Dire— or me?” You don’t know whether you are hallucinating or not but you could clearly see Crewel sparkling or was it just the light?
“Ahaha, well sir I don’t—” He cuts you off “Well it is obviously me, of course”
You stayed there at his classroom, listening to his lecture of how he’s a better father than Crowley.
MOZUS TREIN
He was lecturing you on about something and you muttered a “Alright, dad...” and that was when he stopped speaking as he lets those words sink in.
He then asks you to repeat what you just said. 
Lucius rolled his eyes and told Trein on what you just said.
You give Lucius the stink eye while he just meowed at you.
Trein feels touched not gonna lie and is the most calmest one when he heard you call him dad.
He really appreciates it and is thinking of arranging a little meeting so you and his daughter can get along! :) 
ASHTON VARGAS
Just like Crowley he tears up as he hugs you tightly.
You tried getting off of him but he’s way too strong.
You patted his back awkwardly as he sobs on your shoulder.
He then swears that he’ll protect you from the boys if they ever did something to you and will train you some self defense.
To which you mentally slapped yourself.
SAM
Okay, Sam is a different case.
You’d probably accidentally call him brother and he would just laugh it off.
He doesn’t mind really! He’ll most likely ask you to call him that again tho so...
Next time, you come over at his shop. He’ll tease you about it.
If he hears you call him with formalities, he’ll say “Awh, what ever happened to ‘brother’? Come on! Don’t be shy, say it again :)”
Which leads you to flustered mess since he keeps teasing you about it.
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twistfantasies · a month ago
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Malleus will become the literal personification of Gomez Addams when he has a partner - no, I am not taking criticism.
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herwritingartcowboy · 5 days ago
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Why Do I Feel Like This is For Malleus and Yuu
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moxxbox · 23 days ago
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I forgot I was gonna post this tbh, I hope it's good!!! I tried my best :D
Tried my best with characters it's hard for me to write ミ⁠●⁠﹏⁠☉⁠ミ
Also I feel like I may have done some of the characters dirty (⁠⊙⁠_⁠◎⁠)
Dorm leaders with having to share a bed on a trip with reader!
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~~~
Riddle Rosehearts
He would offer to try and get another bed or switch to a different room to make sure ur like comfortable and stuff<3. Riddle also might believe that you shouldn't share a bed unless you're married or something. If you told him to just share the bed with you, he'd get all red faced but would eventually lay down beside you, might make a pillow wall between the two of you. If you don't let him I feel like he'd lay there like a board.
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Leona Kingscholar
His bed now, you can lay with him if you want but he'll tease you for it. Honestly just flop on top of him and knock the wind out of him. It would be funny to see his face, me thinks.
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Azul Ashengrotto
This was planned by the tweels. They did this to embarrass Azul, it worked. He might act all high and mighty, but this? To much for his octo-tweerp self. You'd have to force him to sleep in the bed with you, but once he falls asleep he'll be a cuddle bug on accident. His limbs will just grab onto anything near <3.
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Kalim Al-Asim
You share this bed. He makes a fort with you. Bro most likely brought extra blankets and pillows, night time random talks are a must.
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Vil Schoenheit
You'll be lots of skin care before sleeping, of course. If you need assistance he'll help. There will be a pillow wall if you move alot in your sleep, if not boom you get a Vil to cling onto.
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Idia Shroud
How? How are you in this situation? Either you're close friends, or he was forced into this. If he was forced there will be a pillow wall, however he'll be awake for most of the night gaming. Although if your close, you might get to cling onto him while your asleep and he's gaming. If so, he'll do his best to not move a lot while still mainly focusing on his game, he might switch to a chill one so he doesn't accidentally yell while playing. He'll most likely be flustered throughout this encounter.
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Malleus Draconia
He was invited? Kidding, anyways, he would be more than happy to accept you into his arms whilst you both sleep. He'll treasure you, and keep you safe while you sleep. Might also question if this is a human courting ritual, he'll ask Lilia later.
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yandere-daydreams · a month ago
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Someone's been leaving you gifts, recently.
'Someone', because you've never once woken up during their little visits and no one you could name would think to be so secretive (or so quiet) if they stopped by, let alone leave before you woke up, and 'gifts' because, to be completely honest, you're not really sure what else to call them. You're not really sure if you want to call them anything, but you don't really have much of a choice.
They're not exactly gifts, anymore, either. They used to be, when it first started, when the most worrying thing you ever found was a dozen roses scattered across your windowsill or a few books you'd left in class left on your doorstep, bound together with a pretty, black ribbon and topped off with a hand-made bow. You'd been a little unnerved, sure, but flattered too, despite the way Ace teased you whenever your not-so-subtle admirer left another container of your favorite chocolates, another hand-written note in neat, swirling cursive tucked inside of your rusted mailbox. It was sweet, if a little over-romantic. You were flattered, even if it did little to spark any fondness in your heart. It was fine.
And then, the gifts started showing up in other places, places they shouldn't have been. In the locker you always use before gym, in your bag when you make it to your first class, in your dorm - obviously, or else you wouldn't be as worried as you are. Grim says it must be magic, that there's no way anyone would ever make it past the door without getting burnt to a crisp by his fire, but that doesn't really matter to you, it doesn't help to calm that bolt of panic you have to swallow back every time you wake up to a bundle of blackened, burnt feathers on the end of your bed. Duece and Jack have offered to spend the night a few times, and Ace and Epel never bother to ask, but you don't really think it helps. The gifts only get worse, more visceral, more likely to be spotted in little, crimson dots and contain certain... things. Sometimes, you can tell what they're supposed to be, and sometimes, they're so eviscerated, so broken down, it's all you can do to tell what's bone and what used to be flesh. Those are the worst ones, the ones that you always have to ask someone else to get rid of. You can take the love letters, the braided flower crowns that make you feel dizzy and exhausted to hold for too long. The dripping, stained cloth bags with something that might've been a bird, once - those are more difficult to stomach.
You've told Malleus, too, if only because he's so charming and so comforting, you can't really help yourself. He seems to think it's another fae student, telling you at-length about courting rituals in Briar Valley and how sacred the gift-giving period is meant to be, to those who still follow such ancient traditions. He's offered to host you in Disomnia, before, to express that you (and Grim, even if Malleus always forgets to mention him) are under his protection, and you've always turned him down, but it's only getting harder and harder to justify trying to weather out your elusive stalker, only feeling less and less safe to stay in a dorm that so clearly wasn't built to protect you from, well, whatever you're dealing with. He's such a good friend, too, and he's always been so willing to help you.
You're sure he'd keep you safe, and more importantly, keep you just a little farther from whoever's been so determined to scare you, lately.
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dulcesiabits · 2 months ago
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the curious case of the prefect’s boyfriend.
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summary: who on earth is the ramshackle prefect dating? Their friends are determined to find out. (ft. Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel, Sebek).
notes: 1.8k words, fic, fluff, a part of my “who does the prefect like?” writing collab
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One drizzly, gray afternoon, you return home from a long day of classes to find your best friends sitting on your couch. Epel is crunching on a bag of chips you bought yesterday, and Jack is dealing out a pack of cards to Ace, Deuce and Sebek, who promptly look up at your arrival.
You drop your school bag on the floor, books clattering on the floor. “I gave you guys a key to my dorm for emergencies.”
Ace slams his hand down on the table, making the cards flutter. “This IS an emergency. You’re dating someone, prefect, and you didn’t tell us? Us, your best friends?”
“I don’t really think we’re entitled to their personal life--” Deuce begins, before Ace shakes his head.
“Be quiet, Deuce. I’m playing the good cop, and you’re the bad one.”
“Why do I have to be the bad cop?” Deuce mumbles.
“So, prefect. What do you have to say for yourself?” Ace says.
“...What makes you think I’m dating someone?”
“That’s a very suspicious answer! Try again.”
“I thought you were playing the good cop,” Jack says.
“Yeah, the prefect just got home, and you’re already jumping down their throat?” Epel asks around a mouthful of chips.
“At least wait until they’ve sat down before you ask about their secret boyfriend,” Jack chides.
“Okay, why do you guys keep assuming I have a boyfriend?” you say. Epel scoots over on his spot on the couch so you have enough room to settle by his side.
“Because, prefect, you have been skipping out on our lunch plans!” Sebek says, his voice rising. “Is it not bad manners to ignore agreements with your friends?”
“Sebek is lonely when you’re gone,” Deuce whispers.
“I AM NOT.”
“Hey, I’m sorry about that. I’ve just been busy--” you begin.
“Busy hanging out with your secret boyfriend?” Ace says.
“Okay, why are you guys hung up on that?”
“Come on, Ace. At least let the prefect talk,” Jack says.
“Thank you, Jack,” you reply.
“We need to hear why they’ve been hiding their boyfriend all this time.”
“Okay, I take it back.” You lean forward in your seat, accepting a chip from Epel. “Anyways, why do you keep insisting that this “boyfriend” of mine exists?”
“I’m glad you asked.” Ace smirks, revealing an ace of hearts between his fingers. You clap your hands at his magic trick, and he gives you a mock bow. “Because I have evidence. Let me start with a little story.”
Witness #1: Ace Trappola
"You know, prefect, after our very long months of friendship, and all the overblots, tests and lectures from Riddle we faced together, I expected better from you. Does our friendship mean nothing to you? Are so heartless--”
“Ace, can you hurry it up?” Deuce interrupts.
“Hey! It’s my turn to talk! Be quiet!” Ace snaps. “When it’s your turn, you can say whatever you want, but for now, can it, Deuce.
“As I was saying, are you so heartless to leave your best friends out of the drama of your love life? Well, I say no more, because I have definitive evidence of your infidelity towards us!”
“Wait, infidelity? I’m cheating on you guys now?” you ask.
“You are by not telling us that you got a boyfriend,” Ace replies, giving a very loud, dramatic sigh. “But back to what I was saying. I notice that you’ve been carrying around an awful lot of flowers recently. And now, before you say you bought them for yourself, those flowers were dandelions. Dandelions, with a ribbon wrapped around them!
“Why would you go to all trouble to dress up some weeds, unless they were for someone...? I don’t recall you holding a particular fondness for those flowers, and I doubt you’d get into Trein’s good graces by offering him some weeds. The only logical conclusion here is, of course, that you have a secret boyfriend!
“Hold off on the applause,” Ace says. “Deuce, it’s your turn.”
Witness #2: Deuce Spade
“I still don’t know why I have to do this...”
“Just talk,” Ace says.
“Yeah, I want to hear what you have to say,” you add.
Deuce sighs. “You too, prefect? Okay, fine.
“I guess... I sort of noticed... last week... you were walking down the street to Sam’s shop. And I was going to say hi, but then you looked busy, so I didn’t want to bother you. I had to go pick up some supplies Trey ordered from Sam, anyways, so I figured we would just bump into each other there.
“When I went into the shop, though, you weren’t around, and Sam said you hadn’t come in. I guess it wasn’t that weird, but when I walked out, I thought I saw you waiting behind the back of the shop. You were wearing nicer clothes then usual, and it looked like you were waiting for someone.
“I want to say, though, that that is not definitive proof of anything, and I trust you, prefect. If you had a boyfriend, you would say something to us, right? Ace has a big mouth, so you shouldn’t listen to him too much.
“Oi, Deuce, what was that--” Ace begins.
“Jack, you say something now,” Deuce interrupts, and Ace rolls his eyes, grumbling.
Witness #3: Jack Howl
“I would like to state for the record that I find this whole thing completely ridiculous, and I would rather not be doing this.”
“You don’t have a choice, though,” you say.
“Yeah, Jack, I want hear what you have to say, too,” Epel says.
“Seriously, guys? Fine. Well, I was walking down the hall to track practice when I heard your voice, prefect, in an empty classroom. I thought it was a little weird because school had let out, and no one was around. But, whatever. You’ve always been sort of weird. I figured you were up to something again.”
“Thank you, Jack, for your kind words,” you say drily.
“Sure. So I heard your voice, but I also thought I heard someone else. When I walked closer, though, you both got quiet real fast. It wasn’t any of my business, anyways, and I didn’t want to be late to practice.
“It was weird, though. I recognized your scent, prefect, and I thought I also recognized the scent of the other person in the room. It almost smelled like... Nah. It’s been a while. I probably just got confused.
“Okay, who’s next?”
Witness #4: Epel Felmier
“All this romance crap wants me to throw up. I don’t get why you guys are so obsessed with it.”
“I wonder why they are, too,” you say.
“Epel, if I had to talk about it, you have to as well. It’s only fair,” Jack says.
Ugh. I guess I’ll do it. So the prefect has some secret beau or something. Not like I care, but do you guys remember when it was raining super hard a few weeks ago? Yeah? We were all going to go watch a movie, right? Well, Vil had caught me and was making me do some stupid crap, so I was running late.”
“Oh, I remember that! Ace got bored and almost burnt the couch down,” Deuce says.
“It was my couch,” Jack says. “Ace, you still owe me for the repair bills.”
“Hey! Pay attention so I don’t have to repeat myself. Anyways, I remember you said you couldn’t go, prefect, because something urgent had come up. Well, I thought I saw you out the window, but it was raining too hard to see. Besides, why would you be out there, anyways? That wasn’t the weirdest part, though. It looked like you were running hand in hand with someone, but I couldn’t see who it was; you were both holding a jacket over your heads.
“Again, this is stupid. I can’t believe you’re making us do this, Ace. Are we done yet? Sebek, you’re the last to go, right?”
Witness #5: Sebek Zigvolt
“Hmpth. I’ve read plenty of romance novels, all recommended to me by the great Lilia, so do not underestimate my knowledge on this subject.”
“Does he really think that makes him an expert...” Ace whispers.
“Ah. I guess Sebek has never dated anyone,” you whisper back.
“I CAN HEAR YOU TWO TALKING. As I was saying, I have a plethora of knowledge on romance and courtship rituals. It has not escaped my notice, prefect, that one night, you were out past curfew. I myself was out looking for my young master, Malleus. I know he has a habit of... seeking your company, though I cannot begin to fathom why--”
“Sebek, you sound jealous,” you interrupt.
“I AM NOT JEALOUS. STOP INTERRUPTING ME. But yes, I saw you out in the street, prefect, as I was looking for my young master. I could only assume you were up to one of your little schemes again, and I had no interest in getting involved. But perhaps you had seen my young master, or worse, you were with him. So I made to approach you.
“As I did, however, you seemed to notice me and run, for what reason I cannot understand. As you did so, I noticed there was someone else with you, dragging you along, and you both disappeared.
“That’s all I have to say on the matter. Also, can you text me if my young master is hanging out with you so I can bring him back to the dorms?”
The Culprit
“Are you guys done now?” You lean back in your couch. There’s nothing but the patter of rain on the windows as your friends look at you expectantly. “Are those all the reasons you think I have a boyfriend? Look, I’m sorry I haven’t been as attentive as I should be. I promise I’ll be hang out with you guys more often, but those are all just coincidences--”
At that very moment, the front door of Ramshackle swings open... and in walks Ruggie Bucchi, shaking off an umbrella. “Hey, angel. You forgot your alchemy notes in my room, so I... Huh. What are you guys doing here?”
The room bursts into chaos.
Ace stands, pointing a finger at you, shouting, “I knew it!”
Epel’s mouth drops open. “You’re dating-- you’re dating RUGGIE?”
“Prefect!” Deuce says. “I trusted you!”
Sebek is swinging his head from you, back to Ruggie, and then back to you, as everyone swarms you, demanding an explanation.
“You guys never asked! Jeez, it’s not like I was trying to keep it a secret! I just never found the opportunity to say anything!” you yell, and through the crowd you can see Jack sidle up to Ruggie.
“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” Jack’s words carry across the room.
Ruggie shrugs impishly, throwing you a wink when he notices your stare. “Well, it was fun listening to you guys talk.”
Oh, you were so going to get back at him later.
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shkanoin · 2 months ago
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HOW YOU KNOW THEY WILL NEVER CHEAT ON YOU
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ace ━━ his mom only let him off after seeing the horror of his credit card bill because she found out that half of the things he ended up buying online on a whim were gifts for you/things that reminded him of you
deuce ━━ writes entire letters about you to his mother, talking about the most mundane thing you did that day that sent his heart fluttering with such passion and fondness. she has two entire shoe boxes of them at home
jack ━━ always finds the time to be with you even if his schedule is completely packed, e.g escorting you to your classroom even if the bell is going to ring in 5 minutes and his class is all the way at the other side of the campus
epel ━━ only accepts being called pretty if it’s by you (because he knows you mean it in a way that doesn’t ‘undermine his manliness’). also goes through his skincare routine without complaint after that one (1) time you gushed over how soft his skin was
sebek ━━ asked for malleus’s approval of your relationship by presenting a detailed powerpoint on why you’re his perfect match. lilia recorded the whole thing. it was five hours long. malleus somehow stayed awake the entire time. silver did not
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