#they just feel so different !!! and obv not everything about them is completely opposite | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rocketyship · 7 months

Note

Hey, it's the anon who sent the really long ask and I'm sorry to say but i forgot what i was going to write about AM so I've put off sending another ask hoping I'd somehow remember 3am me's thoughts. That's obv not going to happen, though, so here's what i can scrounge up!

Your AM is in the very unique position of not only being non-human but also the only person BE openly has, let's say a... "dislike" for. There are ways he could relate to the humans of course (treated like a pet, not given any real self-determination etc) but it's experience is so different in so many other ways.(Naomi and AM were both "taken in" by BE while they were still.. idk young might not be the right word, but Naomi had time to grow up a bit before the whole thing while AM barely had time to realise that he's a person. Evan and AM are both seen as different from the others by BE, Evan for being a man and AM for not being one but Evan isn't dealt divine punishment for the whole trying to destroy humanity thing etc.)

Point is that AM as the narrator would be so fundementally different from the others, i think that's why i wanted to write about it. Narration from AM has the potential to be even clearer than Naomi's would be since there are things about BE she wouldn't show in front of the humans and things the humans just wouldn't be able to see in the same way(code AM might be privy to they couldn't interpret and such).

BE is also the reason AM can see, hear and feel so while he didn't have over a century to lament over not being able to (like the original AM did) that has to change so much, like you've already shown some of.

Oh and like you brought up in the post after my ask: there's no way traces of BE's code hasn't corrupted AM somehow! How would that change things? Does the corruption increase over time or would he just use that as an excuse for why he cares about these humans now? Would he even acknowledge that he has been "corrupted" or is he still too proud for that somewhere deep down? There's so much potential for character exploration!

The parallels between BE and the original AM is fun too! AM torturing it's humans to reinforce and remind itself of it's hatred for them and superiority over them vs BE torturing your AM as "divine retribution" for his sins and a way to remind herself of her job as her sheep's protector, her love for them as well as a reminder to both herself and your AM of her superiority over him.

Once again, hope you have a nice day!! It made me happy you've enjoyed my asks, and the explanation of the sanctuary was a nice bonus for the one before the last :)

This ended up really rambly, but i hope most of it is understandable and that my interpretations aren't like... completely different from what you were trying to portray. (Also, I'm used to referring to the original AM with it pronouns so i might mess up your AM's he from time to time, so here's a disclaimer that i dont do it on purpose)

You have a very good interpretation of my AM and it pleases me that my work my nonsensical posts came across the way I intended. One thing I have decided moving forward is that the story will be told in chapters or parts told from each characters perspective, with the exception of BE, as idk how to write the utterly bizarre way she thinks with it also being understandable to a reader.

But besides that I really like how you worded everything here, especially in pointing how BE is the counter part of the original AM. Truthfully the AM of this world is so different from the original, that I wouldn’t even describe him as the opposite of the og anymore. And you asked about how her code has corrupted him, and it definitely has become something that has gotten more prominent over time. In the beginning AM for sure had some of his pride and his og “hate-everything”ness, but overtime it has started to fizzle out, mostly as a survival tool priority, in the present time (109 years later) he struggles to recall exactly why he killed humanity in the first place, but still knows he did it as BE reminds him. He is also aware of his love for the humans coming from BE and often has crises if it’s own feelings or hers.

One thing about BE’s treatment of this AM (Who I might start calling Amy Idk), is that the body she gave him is very-very human like, as in it may or may not contain real human organs and bits of flesh, to really give him a warped “human” experience. So like the original AM, she has starved and dehydrated him for extensive periods of time, as well as the severe phycological and physical torture, yet she also doesn’t allow him to really “wonder” around. Although as stated before a bit ago his senses and nerves are hypersensitive, so he is generally very cautious about the stuff he gets up to. But one of the biggest differences between her and the OG AM, is how she has discovered to keep him in place. As in like what many real life abusers do, she kind of love-bombs him. As in she treats him nice sometimes, as it kind of “assures” him that he deserves this and if he behaves well then he can go upstairs and play with the humans. Not really helped that he has figured out that if he’s with the humans, BE doesn’t do anything (well she does it’s just more subtle), so that in of itself has definitely contributed to his love of the humans, finding safety with them, especially Evan who he has a particular interest in.

His body has contributed to him gaining things the og AM probably didn’t have cause of his circumstances, or at least a more tamer version. As you stated he is “young”, although I wouldn’t describe him as a child really, just kind of immature. Like he’s kind of goofy when his guard is down, if not clingy. His body is very sensitive, so while that does mean he experiences horrendous agony, it also goes the opposite way. So his odd cuddliness and enjoyment of warm things isn’t just me liking the idea of him in a pile of plushies I swear.

Anyhow I love your asks and everything, you se so cool. Thank you so so much. Hopefully you understood this ramble of mine like you did the others :D

#i have no mouth and i must scream #ihnmaims #am ihnmaims #ted ihnmaims #ihnmaimsloveau #alternate reality #harlan ellison #ellen ihnmaims #I have no mouth #ihnmaims love au #horror story #character discussion

21 notes · View notes

hyperfixated-homo · 1 year

Text

its almost midnight so you know what that means! random thoughts while i unconsciously panick over how tired i’m going to be tomorrow when i have to wake up at six again :D

today im thinking about love languages. more specifically, unconventional love languages that i hc the sides do! from the same people (complete lie but just roll with it) who brought you remus biting people to show affection, we bring you

virgil likes to pat/slap people. just. pat on the head. slap on the face (gently,,,must hit affectionately)

roman loves all love languages, but only in specific contexts. quality time, as long as he is fully aware of how much the other is enjoying it as well as he is (silent quality time is a big nono). physical touch BUT ONLY SOMETIMES!!! and sometimes, ONLY PHYSICAL TOUCH IF YOU DO NOT HUG HIM RIGHT NOW HE WILL CRY

janus squeezes. squeezy hugs. squeezy hand holding. sometimes its feels like hes trying to literally squeeze the life out of you (hes not, but he doesnt really understand his own strength)

is it possible for someone to be touch adverse but also touch starved. because that is logan and roman. ask them rn if they need a hug. god knows they wont tell you themselves-

patton is so gifts of service its like. stupid. nothing even belongs to him anymore. he has no concept of personal belonging. everything that is his is also everyone elses. must,,, gib everything,,,

janus, remus and virgil also headbutt people. just to check up on them. they dont rlly do like, words of affirmation or quality time. they communicate purely on physical touch and gifts sometimes. sometimes they engage in friendly headbutting battles

remus needs to spend all his time with the people he likes. all of it. just be with them all the time. even if its just pure silence, he needs to know somebody is there or else he will explode

oh also they have specific things for different people!!! like remus spends most of his time w/logan bc he’s the only other one who also needs to be around people a lot!! must of the time logan needs it to be quiet, but he still wants someone in the room

vi nd pat exchange many gifts. it started with the cards and now they make each other a bunch of handmade stuff too!!! like patton whittles figurines for virge and virge sews pat stuffed animals.

similarly, janus and patton exchange food. all types. just. gib meal. ily

honestly patton is the only one who rlly tells ppl that he loves them. nobody else rlly likes to say it out loud. it means so much when they do say it tho

virgil and roman obvs do the opposite of words of affirmation. they tell each other that they hate each other so that they know that they love each other.

the reason that logan and roman argue a lot is bc they don’t share love languages rlly. they have like, opposite cycles for needing/hating touch, which leads to some hurt feelings when one of them gets denied. they remedy this by spending at least one full day a week hanging out and doin things together

remus and virgil fight. so often. they wrestle a lot. it means that they’re having a good day

janus is very smoochy. did i mention that. did i mention that that one college projection au by haysgrove made me obsessed with that hc. yeah he’s a kissy boy. the others never really mind, they know it’s just a thing he does (nd he always asks first!!!)

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #ts sanders sides #janus sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #tag urself im ‘slaps you (affectionately)’#many of these r just hcs and many others r just full on projection #lol #shadow rambles #i really do just post my random sides thoughts before bed every day huh #thats fun #OH AND ALSO NEW HC JUST DROPPED #patton likes to whittle #he makes cool stuff :D #animals mostly

36 notes · View notes

jingyismom · 3 years

Text

Thanks everyone for the prompts! I decided to try and knock these all out in one go:

@thegirlwhotrashcans: remember, you asked for it. au, nobody dies, wwx and yanli bodyswap. they're married to lwj and jzx. 100% crack. bonus points if jin zixuan completely loses his shit and lwj looks very calm but loses his sh*t after everything is back to normal

@alightbuthappypen: Competency kink! One or both of them (when I say 'them' I mean wangxian obvs, I know what I'm about) getting hot and bothered about the other being amazing. On a nighthunt maybe? Or anywhere else that strikes your fancy!

@hearteyeswangji: WRITE MORE P*RN

I think I can manage that. With a few tweaks, accidental seriousness, and broad, ridiculous fix-its tacked on. I have no idea how long this might be. Let’s try it in installments? I’ll reblog and add on as I go. Maybe it’ll be fun. We’ll find out.

Disclaimer that this is just gonna go for it with no revising and no beta readers, so pls do not hold me to any conceivable standard of coherency thx

WILL INCLUDE: wangxian, xuanli, let jyl and lwj be friends agenda, canon divergence, fix-it, everybody lives, arranged marriage, bodyswap, light angst, getting together, Attempts at Comedy, eventual (light?) wangxian smut

The Sunshot Campaign has just been won. Everyone goes over to Jin Guangshan’s house after the Nightless City banquet, to Negotiate Stuff, and some hasty political marriages happen resulting in Xuanli Wedded Bliss and Wangxian Un-confessed Wedded Tension. Then, suddenly...a curse befalls our brave heroes.

Wei Wuxian wakes suddenly, feeling odd. He’s sleeping on his stomach for one thing, which is not his usual, but he feels warm and comfortable enough that he doesn’t think it strange. But then there is the scent of peonies and gardenias, which is both familiar and alien, somehow. It makes him open his eyes.

Which is when he sees the hand before him on the bolster. It is slender and elegant. Small. Pale. Familiar? Wearing a jade bangle. He pushes himself up a bit, startled, only to see the hand move when he does.

The hand. Is his hand. He stares at it. The shock of it, coupled with the early hour, leave his mind working very slowly.

At length, he becomes aware of an odd weight across his back, which then shifts. Wei Wuxian turns.

He is met with the sleepy, moon-eyed stare of one Jin Zixuan, still cradling him in his arms.

“What the fuck,” says Wei Wuxian. His voice is. Soft. And high.

He would think this was all some messed-up dream if not for the fact that his dreams of late have all been messed up in an entirely different way. He’s also certain, in an odd, detached way, that he never would have imagined the battle scars that mar Jin Zixuan’s distressingly visible skin.

Jin Zixuan’s brow furrows, and he blinks. “A-Li?”

“...What the fuck.”

~~~

When Lan Wangji wakes at his customary hour, he is just slightly more tired than usual. The coverlet over him is oddly heavy, but he does not give it any thought until light from the rising sun slips over an unfamiliar sill and into his eyes. His entire body goes tense as he remembers.

Jinlintai. The long hours of debate, of negotiation. The hasty marriages.

He sits up in his strange bed and turns. There, in the bed opposite, is Wei Ying’s sleeping form. Close, yet still distant. Safe, at least.

Lan Wangji relaxes, and takes a breath. It was a near thing, keeping the sects from demanding more and more from Wei Ying, from treating him like a criminal instead of the hero he is. But somehow, Jiang Wanyin and Xiongzhang ended up on the same page, defending him, working tirelessly toward a compromise with the more critical parties. And now Lan Wangji has the dubious honor of ‘keeping Wei Ying in check,’ as Yao-zongzhu so inelegantly put it, through marriage.

A strictly political marriage. A convenient solution. To bind them together, to keep Wei Ying tied under the umbrella of Lan Wangji’s rigid honor.

It is unclear, as of yet, if Wei Ying resents this arrangement. He has not been himself since Nightless City, and the destruction of Wen Ruohan’s forces. First his long coma, then a lingering tiredness that he has not seemed able to shake, which dampens his normally-vivid expressions of feeling.

Lan Wangji is worried. But this, at least, Wei Ying has made clear is unwelcome. He seems to want to pretend that nothing has changed. Not about himself, and not between the two of them. Lan Wangji has done his best to honor his wishes, despite everything.

Now, he rises and dresses before sinking into his morning meditation. It is still strange to do so fully dressed, weighed down by the propriety required for the public, but it has felt necessary, now that Wei Ying shares chambers with him. A physical manifestation of the barrier between them, more important than ever now that they are, bizarrely, married.

Before his meditation is finished, he hears Wei Ying stir. It is unusual for him to wake so early. Lan Wangji’s eyes snap open, immediately searching him for signs of pain.

Wei Wuxian turns over, then goes very still. He sits bolt upright, searching the bed with wild eyes, then turns them on the room at large. When they land on Lan Wangji, he curls in on himself, the fingers of one hand tightening at the collars of his sleeping robe, clutching it closed.

“La—Lan-er-gongzi?”

His voice is oddly breathy, and his eyes...they are wide with confusion, with just the slightest tinge of fear. Lan Wangji is struck nearly senseless by the term of address, aberrant in Wei Ying’s mouth.

“What is wrong?”

Searching the room again, Wei Wuxian moves toward the edge of the bed with a strangely graceful modesty. It looks alien on his long limbs. “My...my husband. Where…?”

The word jolts through Lan Wangji’s entire body. He has never heard Wei Ying say it before. He has...wanted to hear it. Dearly, he realizes suddenly. But it sounds wrong. Distressed. Everything Wei Ying says sounds wrong.

“Wei Ying,” he says.

Wei Ying’s eyes snap to his. “A-Xian? Where is he? Is he with A-Xuan? Are they alright?”

Lan Wangji blinks at him, uncomprehending, for several seconds. Then he begins to understand.

“You are not—”

The doors to their chambers burst open, and Jiang Yanli rushes in. The tasteful purple and gold robes she has adopted in the few days since the weddings are loose, uncharacteristically askew—not impreprietous, but verging on it. She spots Lan Wangji and her stormy expression clears.

“Lan Zhan,” she says, and her shoulders droop.

Lan Wangji blinks at her, thrown by her use of this name, then glances at Wei Ying, who has gone completely still, his mouth open in a small, shocked ‘o.’ Jiang Yanli follows his gaze and freezes.

Just then, Jin Zixuan comes barreling into the room, significantly more unkempt than his wife. He has not even tied back his hair.

“A-Li,” he implores, “what’s happened? We can’t just go barging into our guests’,” he pauses, and bows awkwardly, hastily, to Lan Wangji and Wei Ying in turn, “rooms like this. Please,” he takes her arm, but she shakes him off.

She’s still staring at Wei Ying. “Sh...Shijie?”

Wei Ying startles, and looks down at himself. He holds out his arms, his hands, and looks at those too. Then he looks up at Jiang Yanli. “A-Xian?”

“Shijie,” Jiang Yanli says, and slumps over to the bed, embracing Wei Ying.

“A-Li,” hisses Jin Zixuan, scandalized.

Lan Wangji glances at Jin Zixuan’s wife embracing his own husband on the bed, and rises. He walks briskly past them all to shut the door. Then he returns.

“Wei Ying,” he says again. Jiang Yanli looks up at him.

It is obvious, now that he has realized it. Her face, animated by his personality. The soft warmth of her eyes sharpened just so. The deliberately graceless way she threw herself—himself—into Wei Ying’s—no, Jiang Yanli’s—arms.

Lan Wangji takes a deep breath. “Is this a curse?”

“Yes,” Wei Ying says with Jiang Yanli’s face, but his own certainty.

“How can we break it?” Lan Wangji asks.

“I”m not sure, not yet. I need to try a few things—or—having the original curse would be safer.” He looks at his sister in his own body. “I...don’t really want to experiment with this.”

Jiang Yanli tsks and bumps his shoulder a little too forcefully, jostling Wei Ying in her currently slight form. “Vain,” she says, teasing.

“Shijieee,” he whines. It sounds bizarre in Jiang Yanli’s voice. “I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.”

“I know,” Jiang Yanli says, soothing.

“Do you feel alright?” Wei Ying goes on, urgent.

“Perfectly alright, now that you’re both here,” she says, smiling at the newcomers in turn.

Something sharply acidic surges in Lan Wangji’s stomach at such a look on Wei Ying’s face, directed at...Jin Zixuan.

“Really, though,” Wei Ying presses, “any nausea? Dizziness? Pain? You’re not worried?”

“Not at all. Our A-Xian will figure it out.”

Lan Wangji watches as the appearance of Wei Ying’s knuckle affectionately brushes Jiang Yanli’s nose.

Strange. It is all...so strange.

“If—”

“What is happening?” Jin Zixuan interrupts.

All three of them look at him. He stares between them, wild-eyed and desperately askew. Lan Wangji has never considered him to be particularly slow on the uptake, but he supposes allowances must be made for the stress of waking up with a stranger in one’s bed.

He does not care to investigate the perverse pang of jealousy he feels at the thought.

“A-Xuan, it’s me,” Jiang Yanli says. Jin Zixuan stares at her in Wei Ying’s body, uncomprehending. She goes on slowly, but not unkindly. “A-Xian and I have been cursed into each other’s bodies. He’s in there, and I’m in here.”

Her husband blinks several times, very quickly. Lan Wangji recognizes the moment it sinks in by the deep flush that rises across his entire face, and is certain he does not wish to know what precisely inspired it.

Jin Zixuan takes an involuntary half-step back, then forward again, as he speaks with renewed urgency. “Why has this happened? Can it be undone?”

“Great questions,” Wei Ying says, falsely encouraging. Lan Wangji exchanges a glance with him, and it almost feels natural, to share such a thing with either Wei Ying or Jiang Yanli. “Someone was clearly either targeting me—that’s Wei Wuxian, that’s me, in here—or you...whom you know to be Jin Zixuan. I hope.”

Jin Zixuan turns a deeper shade of red. “Obviously,” he bites out. “But why?”

Wei Ying rolls his eyes dramatically. It is not something Lan Wangji ever imagined Jiang Yanli doing.

“We don’t know yet, but we will once we find and question the person responsible,” Wei Ying says. Jiang Yanli grips his arm suddenly. Wei Ying looks at her. “And yes, it can be undone. Of course it can. I’ll figure it out.”

“Cast a rebound,” Lan Wangji says, brisk. The more quickly they are done with this, the better.

Wei Ying’s face falls. “Ah,” he says, “well, we…”

“My cultivation is too weak for him to reliably use,” Jiang Yanli says suddenly. “And I’m not very good at the method, I’m afraid.”

Lan Wangji nods. Steps forward. Then hesitates. “If the curse was cast in such a way, one of you may end up in the caster’s body. And they in yours.”

They all look at Jiang Yanli. Her expression grows grim. “Alright,” she says, then looks to Lan Wangji. There is something steely in her expression that is familiar on Wei Ying’s face. “Thank you for the warning. Go ahead.”

Lan Wangji hesitates only a moment longer, expecting protests from the other two. But Wei Ying is wearing a small, knowing smile, and Jin Zixuan merely nods at her, reassuring. Lan Wangji senses his esteem for the Jin heir rising at such solid trust in his wife.

He steps forward and casts the rebound. They all hold their breath.

Wei Ying glances around, his wry expression entirely foreign on Jiang Yanli’s face. “Anything?”

“No,” says Jiang Yanli.

Wei Ying sighs. “More work for us, then.”

“A-Xian,” Jiang Yanli says, taking gentle hold of his wrist. “You know what this means.”

“Ah?”

“You’ll have to be me.”

“Ah. No, I—”

“A-Xian.”

Wei Ying scratches his head, a not-at-all ladylike gesture. “Or we could just stay in here and let these two investigate?”

The smile Jiang Yanli turns on him is tender, and knowing, and indulgent. “I’d like to see you try to sit still when there’s a puzzle to solve.”

He sighs. “Alright. But you have to be me, too.”

She nods, and theatrically slouches into a sprawling, sloppy posture. Wei Ying laughs, his head thrown back, a hand on his stomach. Jin Zixuan turns around, looking almost ill.

Lan Wangji understands, and he doesn’t. It is dizzying, and distinctly wrong-looking, to see both of them this way. Yet there is also something endearing about it. About the parts of them that do overlap, and fit into each other better than one would expect.

“A-Xuan,” Jiang Yanli calls softly, noticing her husband’s distress.

Lan Wangji gets the distinct impression that that tone in Wei Ying’s voice is not helping the situation.

“Jin-gongzi,” he says. “It would be best for all of us to go about our days as normal, and not to arouse suspicion. Wei Ying sleeps late, and will not be missed for the morning. Jin-shao-furen may claim mild illness until the afternoon. But you and I must behave as normal. There are still the other sects to host.”

“Yes,” Jin Zixuan says absently. He runs a hand over his face. “Yes. You’re right. A-Li—” he turns and looks at the pair of them on the bed, and pauses. He shakes his head as if to clear it. “I’ll go back and dress. Join me when—or—Wei—” he stops. “I will be attending my duties. Please let me know what else I can do.”

“Remember to act natural,” Jiang Yanli says. “When A-Xian joins you later, try to look less like a roasted tomato, hmm?”

Jin Zixuan’s mouth twists into a wry smile, and he nods at the floor, then flees the room. Jiang Yanli and Wei Ying turn their eyes to Lan Wangji.

“I shall also depart,” he says. He circles his arms to bow to Jiang Yanli, but Wei Ying stands and pulls him over toward the door. Lan Wangji lets him, and tries not to pull away from the improprietous touch from a married lady.

“Lan Zhan,” he says, hushed and urgent. “I’m not...you don’t think I’m hurting her, am I? Just by being in here? Can you sense any resentment?”

Lan Wangji feels something tighten in his chest. Wei Ying has not let Lan Wangji so much as examine his pulse since he roused from his coma, but the idea that he is so constantly steeped in resentment as to cause worry that his very soul may be harmful...is distressing. He takes hold of his slender wrist carefully. It is still Jiang Yanli’s body, and he will treat it with the respect it is owed.

“I cannot,” he says. The only energy in Jiang Yanli’s body is generated by her own small but steady golden core. “I sense nothing that may be harmful.”

Wei Ying lets out a relieved breath. “Alright. But, um. What about the other way? Is her...is my body harming her?”

Lan Wangji turns to go back and perform the same examination, but Wei Ying stops him. “No, that’s alright. I’ll. We’ll just get this over with, and we can. Between the two of us, we can fix whatever...whatever damage I do.”

Lan Wangji stares at him, but Wei Ying refuses to meet his eyes. At length, he nods. “We can.”

“Alright. Ah, thanks. You should go.”

Lan Wangji goes.

#my fic #prompt fic #the untamed fanfic #lan wangji #wei wuxian #jiang yanli #jin zixuan #i don't know why i bother this is NOT gonna show up in tags #i'm not gonna go through and censor things. i'm just. not gonna #also this post is...so ugly #will anyone even read it??? who knows elksfdjns #let's have some fun

755 notes · View notes

wizkiddx · 3 years

Note

hiii!!! omg please please pleasee do a part two of 3 hearts broken cus it fucking slaps miss girl

part 2 to 3 broken hearts!!! ive been so 🥺 at all the lovely comments+interest pt 1 had so thanku all !

summary: serious serious angst again will tom somehow get it back (unlike looking cos boy is a fool)

warnings: again lots of swearing (im British sorry not sorry) / wayyyy too much tea / slating Dom abit (obvs fictional but idk if I like the guy sorry his opinions are :/) / commitment issues

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

read part 1 here!!!!

That was three days ago now. Three days since you'd spoken to your boyfrien- well, Tom. It wasn't evident what the situation was.

The typical British weather brought with it the most ironic pathetic fallacy you could ever see. The clouds were dark and glooming, firing angry pellets of rain out as hard as they could. When you had pulled up on the roadside, it had just been a light drizzle but synchronised with your anxiety levels rising - so did the rain. When you finally opened up the car door, you threw your hoodie open with a sigh before running up the pathway to the front door.

It was the same burgundy red that you knew so well, but this time instead of just letting yourself in - you stood in the rain used the brass knocker thing twice. To be honest, you were hoping that no one was home - but in that house, it was pretty unlikely. After 30 seconds of getting drenched in the downpour, you were about to let yourself in with the spare key before the door swung open.

"Oh! Er Y/n?"

"Yeh um hi." You had to shout a bit over the sound of what must now be classified as a storm.

"Toms not-"

"I know. Can I come in?" As awkward and stunted as this conversation was, if you didn't get out of the rain asap you would literally end up drowned.

“Oh er yeh-yeh yeh come in.”

Harry stammered as he held the door open, gesturing for you to enter into the tiled hallway. Gratefully, you followed, throwing your sopping wet hood back down and wiping your feet on the floor.

"Sorry for just showing up, but I left some scripts here. My management are on my arse to read them and-"

"And you waited till Tom left for mum and dads?" The fluffy-haired boy has caught you red-handed; there was no defence, so you didn't even try.

Because yes, you knew on a Friday afternoon when Tom was home he would always, like clockwork, go to his parents just to kick back and watch gogglebox with both of them. It was only natural then that you chose Friday afternoon to come and pick up your stuff.

"I've been waiting in my car for half an hour till I saw him leave." Harry half laughed at that, still the two of you standing opposite each other in the hallway. "Um, do you… do you hate me Harry?"

Clearly, he hadn't quite been expecting your question going by the way his eyes almost bugged out his head.

"No, I-I, of course, I don't… look, I'm home alone so you fancy a cuppa?" Not being able to help the small chuckle, you nodded appreciatively, following Harry through the house.

"Your answer to everything is tea."

Harry had prepared the two mugs in silence as you sat at the table waiting patiently - if nervously too. You didn't miss how Harry had still used your favourite mug, having had to dig through the cupboard to find the weird square-shaped thing. Once done, he rounded the kitchen island and placed it in front of you, which you instantly cradled in two hands - for the hope of warming you up.

"You cold?" Obviously, it was pretty evident that sitting in your rain-soaked hoodie was not cosy at all. "Hang on a sec."

The boy sprung up again, returning moments later with a hoodie in hand, one he offered out to you with a little smile. The issue was that him and Tom shared clothes, so the hoodie he was kindly offering to you also had been worn by Tom before. Which made it hurt a little bit to wear. It was better than sitting soaked through though.

"How have you been then?"

"Not the best, to be honest, but uh… how about you?"

"Being with Tom while he's fighting with you? Oh, it's a barrel of laughs. You might've escaped it, but I haven't." He was trying to lighten the mood, and you appreciated it, offering him a half-smile that didn't really meet your eyes.

"Yeh sorry about that."

"Don't apologise; it doesn't sound like it's your fault Y/n."

That surprised you. Tom, especially when he was in moods like he was when you argued, wasn't one to admit when he was wrong. It was usually how the world was against him and how he was so hard done by. Accepting responsibility was something he hadn't said to you yet - but at least, small steps.

"He say that?"

"Pretty much… doesn't seem like he's angry at you, but-but he's still angry."

"At the world?" You rolled your eyes; this seemed to be the same old Tom through and through. Still immature. Still not with the right mindset.

"At himself." Harry countered, slightly entertained, when he saw the flash of surprise in your face as he sipped his drink. "And me… if I dare to so much as breathe this week."

This time you properly laughed, and Harry joined in too before the room fell back to silence - except the noise of the rain hitting the garden patio slats. You swirled the tea round in your mug, feeling the brunette's eyes on you. He'd always been your fake little brother too, since you'd met the Hollands way back 3 and a half years ago. Tom and yourself were barely adults, which meant the twins were still proper children. Harry had always been the one that understood you. Hollands, by nature, loved humans - loved to talk, to chat, to gossip. But sometimes, doing all that socialising got too much for you, as it did for Harry. He was the only one that seemed to understand social exhaustion. So when those moments had hit, you'd kept each other company in silence.

He got you, sometimes in ways your own boyfriend didn't.

"You know why he got so worked up, right?" You shook your head, looking up curiously. "Dad got under his skin on his birthday zoom thing."

Ah, now that did seem to coincide with the start of Tom's more petulant phase. To be fair, Tom had been asking to move in together for near enough a year now - but it was only in the past month it seemed to be the only thing you'd talk about and obviously only three days since the flight back. Dom's birthday barely a week ago, whilst you and Tom were both filming - except Tom had managed to get a day off where you hadn't. So you hadn't heard this conversation.

"What'd he say?"

"Was talking about how he and mum were settling down at Toms age, joked about how you rejected him, said maybe you were holding out for something better."

"Something better?" Harry sighed, leaning forward onto his elbows.

"He'd seen an article just off a trashy tabloid… it named you Hollywood's golden girl or something, said you could have the pick of any person on the planet…"

Of all the people in the world, why is Tom affected by shit journalism? He knows how much bullshit people write. He knows how it's all made up, exaggerated nonsense. And what he should know, completely and totally, is how much you love him. And if he didn't, was that your fault? Had you done something wrong, something to make him doubt you?

Harry seemed to notice the internal dialogue going on in your head, adding to the point. "It wasn't the article though, it was the fact dad said it."

Hmmm.

You and Dom got on; it wasn't like you hated the possible future father in law or whatever. Just…. you had very different outlooks. As much as Tom prided himself on how' grounded his family keeps him' -to you at least, they aren't entirely at sea level either. They'd never really had any particular struggles in life. They were the definition of middle class, and that's about it. They lived in a posh suburb of London, had all their family still around. It was the perfect family.

And whilst you were in no illusions about how privileged your life was now. It hadn't always been. You'd never had the 'nuclear' family. Instead, only your dad and a string of dodgy and fleeting stepmothers while struggling to make ends meet. So you were just always wary of Dom, of his opinions that so often his boys took for gospel. They always seemed pretty sheltered and close-minded.

And yet, Tom was a grown man.

"I get that, I just… Tom should know that we know more about our relationship than his dad. I mean,… have I done something wrong? Made him think I'm not in this for the long haul?"

"No nonono Y/n he's just… well he's an idiot, isn't he? I don't think he properly understands why you're cautious about moving and everything. He's just an idio- "

Harry was cut off for lightly insulting his brother by the sound of the front door opening, both of your heads swivelling towards the source. You then met Harry's eyes in a panic, to which he replied relatively simply.

"Just talk to each other. For my sake." You would've argued if it weren't for the fact you were so focused on Tom's shuffling around in the entrance hallway - back early from his parents.

"Baz? Where you at? I thought I saw Y/n's car and-"

"Kitchen!!!" Before Tom could say anything else, possibly landing himself in more trouble, Harry interrupted as his chair screeched while standing up. And then Tom was just there. Standing in the doorway, his arms dropping limply to his side as he noticed you. Everything about that moment seemed to freeze, when you locked eyes with him for the first time in three days. It didn't go unnoticed, the way his Adams apple bobbed, the way his eyes widen. The boy looked plain and simply terrified.

It was Harry who broke the silence, after giving you a stern look that said 'stay'. The younger Holland boy walked up to Tom and spoke.

"Try actually talking and actually listening about your problems with each other." And then he was gone, down the hallway and up the stairs.

For a few moments, Tom stayed absolutely stationary, now staring at where Harry had been when speaking to the both of you (but mainly Tom). Long enough to put your sense of unease at an all-time high, ready to make a break for it.

"If you don't want to talk, then I can leav-"

"NO!" Apparently snapping out of it, Tom exclaimed loud enough to make you flinch from your seat. "Sorry! I-I just… I wasn't expecting to… you know, to see you."

"Yeh I just uh- just came to pick up some scripts… Harry cornered me with a tea, though; otherwise, I'd be…."

"Baz thinks the whole world could be fixed with tea."

"that's what I said!" You instinctively responded, forgetting the fact you're supposed to be mad at him, and just for a second falling back into your normal flow.

Tom didn't even try to hide his grin in response, until you quickly corrected your face- then he did too. Turning around to put the kettle on for himself. Because right now, he needed to fix his whole world, and he needed all the help he could get. For a period, the only noise was the sound of the kettle boiling, then the teaspoon clinking against the mug as he stirred - until he padded over, taking the seat across from you.

"So."

"It's been a while," Tom stated the bloody obvious.

"You never called."

"Didn't think you'd want me to."

You thought that the early signs weren't all that auspicious. His ability to read a situation once again failing.

"I wanted you to say something."

"Say what?"

"What do you think Tom?" He replied to the sarcastic tone by sucking in a sharp breath, holding it for a second, before slowly exhaling. As if trying to compose himself, take time to think of a response - a mature move for him.

"Well, I think you want me to say sorry? For being so moody and not waiting for you and for upsetting those kids. And thanks too, for covering for me?"

You just hummed. Waiting for him to continue. Because yes, you did deserve all those things. But you also deserved more. An apology for, oh I don't know, saying he didn't think you loved him? It was a wait that never ended, he had nothing more to add.

"Going by your face, I take it I missed something?"

The bloody cheek of it.

"Theres nothing else? Nothing else at all? …" You gave him that chance, the opportunity but all he could respond with was a shake of his head. "You thought I was fine about you saying that I don't love you?" You hadn't intended on raising your voice, but really you hadn't realised you did till after the fact. To blinded by rage at his ignorance.

"You want to talk about this now?"

"When else Tom?" You sighed, realising he perhaps wasn't ready for this conversation. Maybe he needed more time to think things through, have sense talked into him by various wiser family members. Or maybe, he never would be. That was the worst-case scenario. But also… you're most likely prediction.

He shuffled in his seat, clearing his voice but not saying anything. Not a peep.

"I have spent three years of my life with you. I've had countless nights of too little sleep because that was the only time you could facetime. I've exposed my relationship to the world and people's opinions because you didn't want to hide. All I've done is love you. How could you even say that?" There might've been tears in your eyes, yet you were determined to keep them at bay. You needed to have this out, one way or another, to be clear and cohesive and logical. No time to cry.

"Y/n I know that, I…" He sighed, instinctively reaching for your hand, but you were quicker to pull it away. There was hurt in his eyes, but so there should be. "It just sometimes feels like that's it for you. That yeh you love me but you just want to standstill. That this is as much as it'll ever be."

Your emotions were suddenly uncontainable. Your voice croaked as you whispered, "Have I done something wrong?"

"No love, nonono if that's how you feel then that's okay. But it's something I'm not… shit this is hard." He took a pause to take a sip of his drink, your glazed eyes never leaving his. "I don't think I can stand still anymore. And yeh I was pissy and childish the other day because my dad got under my skin about the whole moving in thing… But these past few days, it just has got me thinking. Because I love you, so much."

This time when he reached out to grab your hand, you actually leaned into it yourself. Not because you were giving in, but because this hurt. This hurt so fucking much that you needed something to ground you, or else god knows. Because the way he was speaking, it sounded so finite.

"I love you too."

"I do know, which is…is why this is so hard." At the very least, Tom had conceded that.

The conversation ceased to silence yet again. The room felt so cold; even Tom/Harry's hoodie was doing nothing to keep you from the endless empty cold that seemed to be coming from within.

"When I re-registered my health card last month, and I made you my emergency contact on it. I-I made you my next of kin on everything actually. I didn't think about it twice. And-and this-"You pulled your phone out of your back pocket, immediately pulling up the app onto the open page. "This is my Pinterest board for our baby's nursery theme. I know-" You paused, to quickly wipe your cheeks clear of the tear tracks that may or may not have been there. "I know it's probably a long way away, but I just love the Scandinavian theme." You laughed at yourself, suddenly embarrassed at your blabbering and quickly pulled up a different app. "And this… this was from the other week when I was helping Y/bf/n start her vows." Hands trembling as you turned the phone around for Tom to see again. "She was finding it really tricky so she said, what would you say to Tom on your wedding, so-so I made this list." You only dared to look at him when you were sure he'd be reading through that note.

It was bizarre because he looked… well, he looked happy. Here you were feeling traumatised, showing things that you'd barely even deeped how committed they were - and he was pleased? Feeling the fire burn once again inside of your chest, you quickly swiped the phone away and back into your pocket. Only then did he look up, eyes widening - presumably at quite how psychotic you looked.

"So don't you dare say that I don't want a future with you."

You said it with such force, there was a pause. Tom letting those words sink deep into his brain. The way his expression flickered minutely gave you hope. You thought he got it. You thought he really understood now.

"But why don't you want to move in then?"

There it was again. He knew why. But he didn't get it. And, probably, he never would.

You were about to crash completely. So you ran. As fast as your legs could carry you, not even aware of your chair crashing to the floor in your wake. You ran out of that house and away from him. Away from who you had thought was the love of your life.

?give tom a final chance w one last part?

feedback is always v v appreciated <3

tom taglist : @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala @tom-softie @sunwardsss @spiitfiiires @radcloudenthusiast @ladykxxx08

people i think might be interestd in this (sorry if not just let me know and i'll remove the tag!!!): @obiwanownsmyass @wildxwidow @parkersvogue @coffeewithoutcaffeine @tomhollandlol @thefallenbibliophilequote @clumsymandu @hiraethenthusiast @mannien @abrielleholland @evermorehabit @niallberry @greatpizzascissorstaco @runawayolives @annathesillyfriend @letsgotothemoonlight @lovelybarnes

#tom x reader #tom holland fic #tomholland #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #famous!reader #tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland x actress!reader #harry holland

736 notes · View notes

favberrys · 3 years

Text

I'm bored and in a kkg brainrot mood, so i'm just gonna rant about my opinions of kakegurui ships and i will make some headcanons:

Kirasaya

Ok i had to start with them bc they're just too iconic, i think they have one of the most interesting and complex dynamics in kkg, they really got me obsessed with them, it's probably my number one kakegurui ship and the reason i started watching the show and reading the manga. Honestly yeah their relationship has some power imbalance, since sayaka is kirari's secretary, and is probably disfunctional, but contrary to what some ppl say kirasaya is not abusive, kirari never physically or emotionally abuses sayaka throughout the story. Anyway they're a 10/10, peak lesbian yearning, if they don't kiss at least one i will jump the author. Probably one of my fav ships ever, i think they're made for each other and i can't see kirasaya with anyone else, they're just so good together and their chemistry is >>>>>>

Yumary

Ok this one is kinda an unpopular opinion bc most people like yumary, but honestly i can't get invested into it, there's something in this ship that doesn't make my heart go "fuck yeah they should be gfs". Personally i don't ship yumeko with anyone bc i can't imagine her in a relationship since her main thing is being a compulsive gambler, her existence revolves around it and she forms relationships when they're useful for her gambling games. I think yumary could be friends with benefits for some time, but after a while mary would probably break it off because i don't think she can handle a sexual/romantic relationship with yumeko and after a while it would make her go nuts. A friendship between them is already messy and complicated and honestly i don't think they are compatible that way. Yes they have chemistry and there's probably some mutual attraction but to me it's a no. Also can cishet dudes stop fetishizing this ship ? My vote is 6/10, mostly bc mary doesn't seem much physically comfortable with yumeko, idk mary just seems off with her in that sense and i prefer them as gambling partners or friends.

Meariri

I honestly love this ship, especially after reading the manga, they have such an great dynamic, i think they both care about each other, they have chemistry and i think they're compatible and that their personalities compliment each other, mary is often loud and aggressive and passionate while ririka is more closed off and quiet, they're like fire and ice and this case i think the saying "opposite attract" works with them. Mary counts on ririka and i love the fact that she is so comfortable with her physically (mary is almost always the one to initiate the contact, holding her hand, touching her head, etc) and ririka gets inspired by mary to be her own person and chase her goals. Plus they're really cute together, aesthetically i find them the most attractive couple, i'll give them a solid 9/10

Itsukaede

Lmao i don't even know if this is the correct ship name for itsuki x kaede, ok i don't hate it and i think they could work as a couple, it's not my cup of tea bc m/f ships bore me, but i like their relationship, they have the kind of old married couple dynamic that always works. 6/10.

Ryomeko

I can see it happening, i don't ship it, but i don't mind it either, i'm kinda neutral about ryota x yumeko, but i think he's one of the ppl who care about yumeko the most in that academy (with also mary ofc), the ship is boring bc ryota is bland (he's a good guy don't get me wrong and he defo doesn't deserve the hate he gets) and as i said previously i don't ship yumeko with anyone. Sorry i gotta give it 5/6 out of 10

Yumedari

Ok i love midari but just like yumeko, i don't ship her with anyone bc i see her as someone who's too much unstable for relationships, but i know that canonically she loves/likes/is attracted to yumeko so i don't hate this ship, i think it's decent, the only problem is that yumeko hates midari. Still i think that since they're the most insane mfs in that school somehow this ship could work. 6/10

Yuridari

Again midari in my eyes is kinda unshippable, but this ship is not bad at all, they would have that kind of bickering married couple dynamic like itsuki and kaede, i like it but it doesn't do much for me. 7/10

Ryomary

Jsjssjsksk i looked the name of mary x ryota's ship on wiki so if it sounds weird it's bc i don't know their ship name and i have looked at the first site google gave me. This ship is hard no, mainly bc ryota is very bland and i consider mary a lesbian (i read that she is a canon lesbian but idk if it's confirmed by the author, let's say lesbian mary is just my hc) so shipping her with men feels like a hate crime to me, mary is for the girls only, 4/10.

Tsumary

They are kind of cute together right ? I think they're adorable, tsuzura is mary's first love and i think that someone like her would make mary very happy. I still haven't finished kkg twin, so my opinion on tsuzura is incompleted and it might change, i don't hate her but i find her character a little basic/boring so even though this ship is cute it doesn't make me fall in love with them. 7/10 bc probably also tsuzura had feelings for mary and they have a healthy dynamic, you can see they love each other.

Midasaya

I enjoy this crackship, i know that they both like different people but i headcanon that they were together during middle school or that midari had at least a small crush on sayaka during that time, before kirari came to hyakkaou i like to think that they explored their sexuality together so midari was probably sayaka's first kiss, her first date, etc, so they would have history together and we also see that midari knows sayaka bc her character is described through her pov during tower of doors. I find this ship pretty funny bc sayaka is always so serious and composed and midari is a ball of chaos. 7/10

Yumesaya

This is another crackship i don't mind and find hilarious, yeah i'm a huge kirasaya stan but i'm also a multishipper and sayaka deserves all the girls in the world, so the more the merrier. I like to think this ship as one sided love in which yumeko sort of pines after sayaka and i think it would be very interesting to see kirari being jeaulous that sayaka is getting yumeko's attention. We saw jeaulous/protective sayaka in kakegurui, but i would also like to see how kirari reacts when someone tries to take sayaka away from her, it would be really interesting. Obv this would create some tension between kirasaya and also between kirari and yumeko, almost a sort of love triangle dynamic. My opinion is that yumeko is just too unstable to settle down, also they both probably would get bored/lose interest in each other after the heat of the moment. 6/10

Ririsaya

Sorry but i really can't see it happening not even if i squint, but i really enjoy the ririsaya fanfictions and i think those works are pretty great even though i don't ship them very much. It would be interesting if both twins were in love with sayaka and there was some tension/coldness between them for a while bc they liked the same girl (maybe i read too many fanfictions). My headcanon is that both sayaka and ririka had a crush on each other when they first knew each other and for sayaka it was probably pretty confusing bc she already had feelings for kirari. I see them as friends, 7/10

Yumemisaori

Again idk if this is the correct name of the ship, many said that yumemi and saori are a healthier/mentally stable version of kirasaya and i agree. the dynamics are similar bc we have the secratary that is willing to do everything for her boss and the relationship is a little more balanced, i think they would be very cute together, but sadly they had very little interactions and if i could see more of them i would probably ship them even more. I like them 7/10.

Sachiko x Mary

I didn't even find a ship name for this couple, so they must be pretty unpopular, i like both characters and their antagonistic dyanamic is very interesting, but i don't ship them much bc i think mary needs/wants someone who is completely different from sachiko, who wants to make mary her pet and mary is someone who cares very much about her freedom, her indipendence and wants to make her own choices and this completely clashes with sachiko's extremely sadistic and domineering nature. I prefer them as enemies who have some sexual tension or enemies with benefits or one night stand adventure, but nothing more. 5/6 out of 10 bc the only mary ship i really love is meariri and i also like tsuzumary a bit.

Sachiko x Mikura

This is probably one of the most unhealthy relationships in kakegurui, but i kinda like it. Their dyanmic is pretty much vertical with sachiko who has all the power and makes mikuro do everything she wants and mikura who is completely obsessed and devoted to sachiko (my opinion is that she developed a sort of stockholm syndrome towards sachiko). I think that someone like sachiko could never have genuine romantic relationships bc of her extremely sadistic nature, she sees ppl like toys to break and what she enjoys the most is seeing ppl suffer, so the only compatible person with sachiko is someone extremely masochistic like mikura. Giving them a 6/7 out of 10 bc their interactions are fun/interesting and spice things up.

Rin x Ibara and Yumeko x Kirari

Hard no to both of them, i don't ship incest, yall can do what you want but personally it's a huge no for me. When i first started watching the anime at the beginning i thought yumeko and kirari had some sort of tension and could have been enemies to lovers (lmaoo i was so naive), but then i discovered they were cousins and i saw more kirasaya interactions so i got completely turned off by this ship. 3/10 to both of these ships.

Sachiko x Sakura

Now this ship is very sexy, idk why i like it but i do, yes i don't see sachiko with anyone besides mikura, but this pairing is not bad at all, even though it's a crackship. I think they would be rivals with benefits and would argue a lot and then make out/have hot sex. 7/10 (maybe it's too high but since these are just my opinions i won't be objective)

Mary x kirari

Uhm is there really someone out there who ships them ? Yeah i thought they had some sexual tension in s1 with that tea scene, but it's a no from me, i don't like it and i don't think they're compatible in any way, i can't see kirari with anyone who isn't sayaka. 4/10

105 notes · View notes

kyojuuros · 3 years

Note

I was reading people say the chapter butchered eren because he was a character who fights for freedom, yet now he did these things because he had to and he didn't fight it or fight this destiny or whatever. And that the idea of him wanting that alternate cabin reality with mikasa and considering choosing that life if she gave him a different answer is the opposite of what the eren we used to know would want because he was always fighting for freedom. I see where these thoughts are coming from but to me, I think it's understandable that with what was going on in his head, that he sometimes wished he could go away and live out the rest of his short life with his love. And after finding out about the outside world, everything for him shifted so much like I can't imagine the toll the memories and the founder took on his mental state like. He fought hard for the freedom of his loved ones, but part of him wished for a quiet life with mikasa. I think that's pretty understandable. And I think he knew if he couldn't be free, he wanted his loved ones to be. Just curious about what you think about the idea that this ending for eren goes against the eren we always knew as the person who fought for freedom and fought against fate?

I actually feel the opposite. But I’d been assuming from the beginning that his motivation for all this carnage was ultimately to save his friends. If anything, this chapter just solidified the way I have felt about him all along. I’d clung onto his words in chapter 90 for so long (about being willing to die if it would change anything), and it’s just vindicating for me to see those words truly mean something in the end.

We’ve been so far removed from his frame of thought since chapter 90 that people (obvs not everyone, but a decent amount of people) either forgot or didn’t care about his actions and thoughts before the time skip. Yes, he had his own motivations and feelings outside of his friends, but his core driving factor always boiled down to Mikasa and Armin (and the 104th as an extension). The narrative makes this clear on several occasions. It’s what makes him complex and enjoyable.

I always admired his passion to fight for freedom since the beginning. But I think if that’s all there was to Eren, he would have gotten bland and boring so fast. It’s the willingness to throw that away for his friends, the moments where he’s acted cruelly or selfishly in order to protect them, the small panels peppered in throughout the manga where we see how soft he is for them or how determined he is to make their dreams a reality, all of these are the things that are what truly made him an interesting and entertaining character to read about.

I do think there are things Isayama could have done better in terms of portraying how Eren truly feels about Mikasa. But I think it’s clear enough when you look at the larger picture - the way he tried to push her away to keep her safe early in the series, the declaration to wrap the scarf around her forever as he put himself between her and a titan, his guilt when she would get hurt trying to save him, and how he values having her by his side. He was determined to give Mikasa back that quiet and peaceful life (this sentiment is very prominent in the EMA conversation post-uprising and when they go back to Shiganshina), so why wouldn’t he also want to be a part of it when he cares about her so much?

Eren yearned for his freedom and the freedom of his friends. That doesn’t negate that he also missed that peaceful life he had with Mikasa and his parents. All it shows is that Eren isn’t just a one-dimensional puppet of the story. He’s a fleshed out character with more than just one motivation pushing him through hell. He loved the notion of freedom. He loved his friends. He loved Mikasa and he wished to give her the kind of life she yearned for - and he wished to be a part of that.

If anything, it just adds to the tragedy of his character. And I love Isayama for showing us this side of him in the end. I would have been extremely upset if he had died without us or the characters ever getting a chance to really say goodbye, or make sense of his decision. I would have felt angry if we had never gotten a chance to see the Eren that many of us fell in love with ever again.

“Chadren” never existed. Eren has been the same since the very start. I think people are in their right to mourn their interpretation of his character (even if I may have disagreed heavily with said interpretations). Like, I empathize with that and I’ve been there. But I’d also implore these people who think he was completely ruined to go back to the beginning and read it all again with the ending now in mind, and see if anything changes their perspective. But idk, maybe it all boils down to the difference in what we each wanted to get out of this story and what we’d hoped the message would be.

#snk spoilers #snk 139 #anon #reply #uhhh the dash isn't showing my first paragraph???#idk how it looks on mobile #please go to my blog to read my reply wtf tumblr

57 notes · View notes

dreamwritesimagines · 2 years

Note

ok but the whole "well u blew somebody's brains out, so NOW I can respect u and recognize u as a grown ass woman and not just a pretty little doll" that I feel coming from bucky and his mother kinda pisses me off and I hope Peaches gets as offended as I am for it lmao she doesn't need their approval or their validation, like bitch, she didn't want to be a part of that life, true, but she never said that she was weak or defenseless, they came to those condescending conclusions themselves but oh, suddenly because she killed someone they change their minds?????????? being able to get violent is not the one and only way to be strong or capable(: and Peaches has been strong and capable and frankly a fucking badass THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME!! jesus fucking christ give me a break, you know what also makes someone strong and capable and a badass? the hability to be fucking upfront about shit and not be a fucking dramaqueen that makes decisions for others bc "oH I huRt u bC i knOw wHat'S bEst 4 u i wAs trYiNg t0 prOtEcT U" or whatever.

(I'm not mad at you obvs I'm mad at this family's stupid logic and at bucky's shitty excuse bc I'm SURE it's gonna be shitty, can't wait for the next chapter though ;) )

Omg first of all I love this so much😂❤

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT! 😂❤ Because Bucky just assumed she couldn't handle it just like Winnifred, like of course they had different ways of showing it, Winnifred flat out refused and outcasted Peaches and Bucky went the complete opposite way and became all "protective" 😈 And yesssss, Peaches never ever said she needed help from any of them, she has been dealing with everything life has been throwing at her since she was a kid 💔 The problem is that Bucky and his family tend to recognize it better when it's physical, so that's why it'll surprise them to see her do that 😈

When Peaches hears that...😂

Thank you so much for this darling! ❤❤❤

17 notes · View notes

woogurl · 4 years

Text

so i decided to make a short analysis and i say short because i don’t know how short it’ll be.

this is in regards to the anon who said that kq seems to push woosan too much in choreos/taking pics together/high fives/etc.

don’t get me wrong, i’m not here to prove to you that these moments aren’t fanservice because as i mentioned before, that they often are. however, i do not think kq is always responsible for all these moments. i think they have many subtle moments that make me think otherwise.

i know when we think of fanservice moments, there’s no doubt that fake love

and this legendary, sensational ass performance tops them all.

now before we rid these moments as just fanservice, can we talk about how comfortable they are with doing this kind of stuff. yeh many group ships do fanservice, but understand that MOST do not go this far. Nor do they commit to this degree. even with korea’s culture, there are just some boundaries most of these men do not want to cross. let’s talk about a fanservice moment with nct, and use mark and johnny as an example. there’s a moment where they get very close and intimate during superhuman but they always seem very uncomfortable. at least mark does. he simply does not seem to like this type of intimacy with males. and that’s completely fine.

i also want to use nct as a whole as an example there’s many times where the company tries to get them to do fanservice but to no avail. they just laugh and joke around, and that’s because they see each other as brothers. i’m not referring to any specific ships. i simply mean in general. so the company makes them do fanservice but they’re not forced to “enjoy it or do it often”.

now let’s take a very intimate taejin moment didn’t want to do a popular ship for obvious reasons. sorry taejin shippers.

the intensity is there on tae’s side, but not jin. it just seems like he’s doing his job and giving the fans a bit of fanservice. there’s also a more intense taejin moment where there seems to be a lot of sexual tension, but i’m not convinced that there is because they’re obviously doing it for the camera. they’re both good actors so. i’m sure they could convince anyone that they have incredible chemistry and sexual tension.

but let’s be real, it’s not convincing when it’s obvious that they’re just giving their fans a show. so i can understand why people are like woosan are doing it for show. esp because unlike any other ship there’s so many woosan moments in their choreos and they just dance together so often. and i’m gonna assume the anon brought this up because there’s woosan moments in their newest song inception and fever. LET’S NOT EVEN MENTION THE LYRICS. now ateez is one of those groups who does a lot of fanservice in choreo’s in general, but they def use woosan to their advantage. why? because it’s such a popular ship, but so is seongjoong as i mentioned before. they could capitalize on seongjoong as well, but their moments are often less organic when they do do fanservice. like i said they don’t pretend to enjoy it. hongjoong is very open about his disgust with skinship. so no i don’t think kq forces woosan to pretend to enjoy it. i think they just genuinely enjoy the fanservice.

so let’s take some subtle moments during woosan choreo’s.

now, this iconic moment was during random play dance in budapest and it isn’t actually apart of any choreo, but mind you seonghwa and mingi were supposed to do a couple dance as punishment. but was like fuck fanservice. well they did give us a different type of fanservice hip thrusts. while woosan was basically like...

can u see the difference in atmosphere, like woosan didn’t have to do anything but they started dancing as if they were really at a club. san was literally eye-fucking woo and biting his lips and shit like damn. lmfao.

woo of course was like okay, that’s enough and pointed to mingi and seonghwa, u prob can’t see because it’s hard to capture but if u watch the vid u’d see woo was like. “ok, das enough, pay attention to mingi and seonghwa”. san was really feeling it tho. enfen.

next moment was during the expedition tour in lisbon. they were doing a random play dance.

first of all i didn’t even know this moment existed. someone pointed it out in a dm. @ 1:48 there was a lot of tension between woo and san. it was just a random moment during the play dance. the way they looked at each other and san flicked woo’s chin. oomph. HONGJOONG WAS NOT HAVING IT and quickly intervened. san was lowkey mad at hj.

in the end, woosan ended back up together, despite being separated.

anyway next moment during Random Dance in Milan (Magazzini Generali). they were dancing to monsta x shoot out and woo wanted him and san to do it together. so he went the opposite way of everyone else.

at this point woo and san were trying to find a way to properly interact with each other but it was so messy because everything was unplanned. they were so attentive to each other that when jongho came and asked them to do the second verse(?) move they just ignored the poor baby. ‘cause they obv had other plans.

jongho ended up doing it by himself while woosan continued with their own plans. ooOOP.

woo wanted to do another song with san, and i guess he wanted them to do the same thing i’m not sure, but san looked just as confused as well. but he did his best in doing what i guess he figured woo wanted him to do. he was up for it tho, he was like what is it? i’ll do it. xD. i know some of y’all are like btch get a youtube channel so we could see the moments better. but idk how to do utubesokey;c

woo ended up getting shy and embarrassed for some reason and san was quick to comfort him. it was super sweet.

next moment is the Random Play Dance in Berlin. Where they were both shyly dancing to twice. They didn’t know what to do, or at least was too shy to do it so san just grabbed woo and started dancing with him. It was another cute moment.

the entire time they were just planning on what they should do together, and san literally waited on woo to see what he wanted to do because woo often takes initiative in general between the two of them. they would just constantly keep touching each other and looking at each other. he was so attentive to woo that he wasn’t paying attention to yunho and seonghwa dancing so jongho and woo both had to point at them so san would turn his attention there. lol.

san’s attention was still mostly on woo because he grabbed him to dance with. what i’ve noticed during these random play dance moments during tour is that they absolutely love interacting with each other, touching and keeping their attention on each other. it would be foolish to think they’re forced to act that way 24/7 because of kq. they react this way because they’re naturally close to each other and are okay with psychically being close to one another.

next moment is the Random Play Dance in Atlanta.

yes, it does include the famous fake love woosan dance, but i still think it’s valid because as i’ve said before they’re incredibly comfortable with these types of interactions. also would like to mention how attentive san is to woo once again. for the most part his attention is mainly on woo if you pay attention to him closely.

next the Warsaw ATEEZ My Way SAN focus, san was incredibly attentive to wooyoung. san locks eyes with woo multiple times. i’m just gonna highlight obv moments.

0:45

2:12

NEXT. let met just say 181118 was a glorious fansign.

Pirate King SAN focus the moment at 1:36 during pirate king where san was like, 'c'mere' to woo.

the moment at 2:22-24 where he was trying to get woo's attention but woo's focus was elsewhere.

the moment at 2:26 he really wanted woo's attention. crjkc j fjmk. that tongue tho mingi.

he then decides to use seonghwa to make woo jealous at 2:39.

he tried to get his attention again at 2:56.

let's talk about the my way cam too, that was full of subtle woosan as well.

not subtle, but still includes moments that isn't part of the org choreo.

once again san is so attentive to woo. if i haven't said this before san is so much more transparent than woo. and u can see that during these moments especially.

san all up in my man's space. sxdrcfgvbjkl

san being relatable. He's so focused on woo that the members have to push him to the correct spot.

anywaY the point is they enjoy these kind of things because they’re naturally close and intimate irl. so it makes their interactions looks completely natural and organic. so u don’t have to worry about them being ‘forced’ to do fanservice. ‘cause what woosan has is just something u can’t compare to another ship.

#ateez #wooyoung #san #woosan

125 notes · View notes

tlkfanficfest · 4 years

Text

TLKFanficFest Prompts - Round 1

This round will be open for two weeks and be done on July 5.

All the prompts are alphabetized below, into different categories. Anyone can try writing any prompt and all prompts may be filled by multiple people!

Please remember to tag your completed prompt fill with #TLKFFF2020 and @tlkfanficfest so they can be included in the Fill Post.

If you write only on AO3 please send your links and what prompt it was for to [email protected] to be included.

PAIRINGS

Aelswith/Alfred, first meeting

Aethelflaed/Aldhelm, “Why are you awake right now?”

Aethelflaed/Aldhelm, “you have bewitched me, body and soul.”

Aethelflaed/Uhtred, “Ask me what I did while you were gone; I promise I can draw every action I took back to you.”

Eadith/Finan, Eadith trusts Finan with her life, but she needs to convince him she trusts him with her body.

Eadith/Finan, Finan watches Eadith and Aethelstan and wonders how he got so lucky for a second chance at a family.

Eadith/Finan, he teaches her some self defense

Eadith/Finan, it was never about pleasure for Eadith until Finan

Eadith/Finan/Uhtred, After a run in with some Welsh raiders, Eadith tends to both Finan and Uhtred’s wounds.

Eadith/Finan/Uhtred, relationship negotiations

Eadith/Finan/Uhtred, Uhtred won’t intrude on the relationship building between Eadith/Finan, even though they’ve both expressed interest in him joining so they hatch a plan to seduce him, together.

Ealswith (Sihtric's wife)/Sihtric, first meeting!

Finan and Uhtred roadtrip

Finan/Eadith: “I never get a full nights sleep around you.”

Finan/Sihtric, a jealous Sihtric but not the "bad" jealous type, more like insecurity. and Finan being oblivious to it until they talk and actually communicate (so angst with a happy ending i guess haha)

Finan/Sihtric, that first night after Finan knows Sihtric didn't really abandon them.

Finan/Sihtric: "You fought for me."

Finan/Uhtred with Uhtred catching the common cold and Finan loosing it because he thinks it’s “the sickness”.

Finan/Uhtred, “I’m worried about you”

Finan/Uhtred, stuck in a confessional box. Can be as naughty as you like. Bonus for Aelswith coming to pray whilst they're stuck.

Finan/Uhtred, they know each other like the back of their hands.

Finan/Uhtred, we are bound.

Finan/Uhtred/Gisela, Uhtred returns a changed man, but Gisela doesn't mind the Irish warrior he brings with him

Gisela/Hild, hurt/comfort

Gisela/Iseult/Uhtred, Isuelt lives, she travels north with Uhtred and meets the beautiful Danish girl, Gisela. The women want to take their friendship further, will Uhtred mind? And will he be allowed to partake? The women weave a special pagan magic together.

Uhtred/Gisela/Finan is a thing and they need to figure out who is the baby daddy now that Gisela is pregnant.

Uhtred/OC, OC is from Irland and her name is Brigid (like the Celtic goddess) and Finan is like “Lord, we have to take her with us, she needs our help. And I’ll not ‘ave ye cursing us for a second time.” Because he is paranoid if they don’t take her and help her than the Celtic gods will curse the harvest at Coccham.

NO SPECIFIC PAIRING

"A mad ardour upon you to race horses, where the serried host is ranged around; very splendid is the bounty of the cattle-pond, the iris is gold because of it." - from an Irish poem, 'May-time', 9th-10th century, author unknown

"Keen is the wind, bare the hill, it is difficult to find shelter; the ford is marred, the lake freezes, a man could stand on a single stalk." - from a Welsh poem, 'Winter', c.11th century, author unknown

"The ocean is full, the sea is in flood, lovely is the home of ships ... the rudder is swift upon the wide sea." - from an 11th century Irish poem, A Storm at Sea, author unknown

A night with Erik

Aldhelm has a Nice Day for once

Aldhelm, resting and thinking back on his life, Finan and Sihtric come across him. They talk.

An Aethelflaed focused story inspired by Queen of Peace by Florence and the Machine

Any pairing welcome, but Osferth would be a great pick, It’s too cold outside and we should share body heat. For survival only of course. Or not... hehe !

Coccham crew get drunk and start flyting against each other

Coccham squad in a naturist camp

Father Pyrlig sneaks healer reader out of King Edwards court for Uhtred and his men to keep safe. She has made an enemy out of Aethelhelm.

Finan and Uhtred roadtrip

Finan has to reconcile his past as conversations with Irland bring his brother back into his life.

Finan, "Don't pretend like you're asleep. Should I find a way to wake you up?"(obvs on the smutty side... I can see it already!)

Hild watches the guys train. They show off for her.

Jealous possessive Finan please!

Mafia AU, any pairings

Osferth saves Finan and Sihtric’s life from Danes and has a little smirk at the end.

Osferth, Edward, and Aethelflaed following Alfred's burial

Radio station AU of any description. Wessex FM, Bebbanburg Beats, Mercia Magic...

Sihtric and Osferth bonding over being bastards

Someone attempts to kidnap Osferth much to his friends dismay. They want revenge against Uhtred.

The Coccham crew get a little tipsy and Sihtric ends up with his most interesting haircut yet

The Cookham squad mourn the death of Steapa.

Uhtred has the hiccups

Uhtred is visited by the actual Night Walker and they have a philosophical conversation around the campfire.

Alfred requests Uhtred's company on a brief pilgrimage to the sea at the south of Wessex. Uhtred is suspicious of his motivations, especially given the dissenting nature of their religions, but he soon realizes that perhaps Alfred has a bit more than God on his mind when he's praying.

IMAGINES

Finan, Finan shares his cloak with the reader at the fire to keep them both warm. His hands wander occasionally.

Finan, him being soft and him caring for kids in my life

Finan, reader makes sexual noises to turn him on

Finan, with a Dane reader

Finan/Reader, Finan comes home to find reader gone. They had gotten into a fight that day before he was to go off to battle with Uhtred. She told him that if he left she wouldn't be there when he got back. Lots of angst with a sad ending.

Sigfried, reader saves Siegfried from an assassin.

Sihtric rescues the reader from drowning.

Sihtric/Reader, Enemies to Lovers, smut should definitely take place. They have been on opposite sides for years until one day changes everything forever.

Sihtric/Reader, reader is a spy sent by Haesten to spy on Uhtred and his men. Sihtric finds her and marches her back to their camp by sword.

Uhtred, the reader is half trapped underneath a horse and Uhtred stays with her while Osferth goes for help. Uhtred flirts and comforts her.

Young Ragnar/Reader, ex-lovers meet again on one fateful day. There is some angst but it has a happy ending.

RPF

Alex/Eliza, accidental kiss at dusk

Alex/Eliza/Mark, it kind of just happens

Alex/Mark, Alex is in love with Mark, Mark is oblivious. Alex comes up with more and more excuses for them to rehearse together. How long can Mark hide his feelings when they rehearse hugging scenes AGAIN?!?

Alex/Mark, unspoken promises

Eliza/Everyone, Eliza’s just touchy feely with her friends

Ensemble (any pairings), some of the cast goes to a music festival for the weekend

Mark raids Eliza’s closet and tries on a few things. (bonus points if what he tries on is garters/suspenders)

87 notes · View notes

janiedean · 4 years

Note

I was wondering what you feel about the opinion that GRRM hates feminine/non-warrior women because they (Catelyn, Cersei, Sansa) are written with intentional flaws while his warrior girls (Brienne, Arya) are not? Do you agree with that? That Brienne and Arya have no flaws? It was some dumb meta about how the world is against Brienne, but she never does harm to the world, so she's a bad character and GRRM is a misogynist or something. (1/2)

I disagree obviously. Just because Brienne is not a demon doesn't mean she doesn't have flaws or she's a bad character lol. Like... why can't we have an angel in a world of monsters? What's wrong with that? Are these people jealous that Brienne is one of those pure character that their faves are not, so they feel like dismissing her as a bad character to make themselves feel good? I'm asking you because I know you love Catelyn and Brienne so I know you're the best person to ask this. Ty (2/2)

... I mean this has a long answer to give but this *meta* seems to me like it was written by someone who has no idea what they’re talking about when it comes to who grrm hates in his writing or his supposed misogyny because they have it all wrong and I think you pretty much guessed the point, but in order, let’s... tackle this one by one:

grrm doesn’t at all hate cat and sansa and their flaws are... flaws in the sense that he’s writing them like good people who aren’t 100% perfect but like.. sansa’s *flaws* from the beginning are stuff that’s common to most 12yo girls in existence and she overcomes them and she’s generally a good and kind and caring person whose main trait is that she’s good and kind and stays like that so how exactly now she’s written... like you’re supposed to hate her? bc she’s not. grrm never wanted you to hate sansa. he wrote her like a realistic 11-15yo but like most of us were like that at that age or have had friends who were like that, so... what the fuck. catelyn.... like guys the one heavy flaw she has is her treatment of jon but she’s written as a smart person who’s trying to live in a misogynistic society as best as she can and she’s written like a tragic character but grrm obviously likes her/loves writing her, it’s.... like if you read her chapters you can see how much work/love/craft went into them and how he worked on her bg very carefully also she is more of a protagonist than ned until asos when it comes to the stark side like.... how is giving her human flaws meaning he hates her?? grrm doesn’t hate her. the fact that she and brienne end up doing the knightly/lady sworn sword thing is even more of a proof he doesn’t but more on that later;

cersei... well I mean grrm obv doesn’t like cersei that much but a) he’s written a version of that character at least thrice already including the asoiaf one so I think he has an ex like that that he doesn’t particularly remember fondly or smth but like... she’s written to be a villain. she’s a villain. she’s a very well-crafted/thought out villain with a realistic background but diff. from cat and sansa she’s there to be the antagonist period, and just like... cersei and cat are aesthetically the same archetype and they couldn’t be more different so idk wtf are people smoking when saying that and if they can’t read cat chapters without fandom-hates-her glasses idk what to tell them;

brienne and arya have flaws are we serious, like arya has the flaws everyone has at that age (too impulsive/tends to judge people very fast/is too fixed on things/doesn’t listen to people etc) but like she’s fucking nine when it starts and she gets traumatized to hell and back, like arya’s sl to me is creepy af because no 12yo should be like that and it’s a very good trauma exploration but like....... she has faults but she’s not a bad person for obvious reasons as in SHE’S A KID same as sansa same as EVERYONE UNDERAGE IN THESE BOOKS except partially joffrey and even he has a background that explains how he is, like.... arya and sansa are supposed to be written in an equally sympathetic but specular way because they have opposite ways of reacting to trauma ie sansa holds on to her kindness arya gets progressively detached because she has to kill people to survive but you’re not supposed to hate either of them? honestly grrm wrote them with the exact same stakes, anyone who thinks it’s qualitatively different needs to go back and reread it with some intellectual honestly;

brienne... I mean we serious? the thing with brienne is that she’s a fundamentally good person who is written to become the ultimate example of a good knight™ and who is supposed to restore decency to the title after the institution has crumpled into the dirt, so... she’s... good, same as dunk is in the novels, but like: lmao she has a lot of faults, first thing that at the beginning she judges everyone on sight and sees everything in black and white, she has zero preservation instinct and nonexisting selfesteem because she thinks her life isn’t worth her vows and she thinks she’s not fit for anything she tries to do and would have died for a guy who danced with her once like sorry that’s not healthy, which are all things,... she’s... getting over.... because she has a character arc, but saying that brienne isn’t realistic or doesn’t have faults is ridiculous because she is;

now, this concept that grrm is misogynist is idiotic because a guy who has an insane number of female povs - some of which are the same trope ie brienne and arya - and have all a distinct different personality and voice and none of them are like too idealized or too evil and are to a level relatable means he’s everything but because a misogynyst wouldn’t be able to pull that off. like, in any other book brienne and arya would have been the same character, in his they’re not, so maybe like... give him some credit in the sense that the moment half of your povs are well-written realistic female characters and the ones without povs are equally well-written/manage to be fan faves (ie marg and olenna) maybe he’s just... not... a misogynist nor hates women so that’s out of the way;

re cat and brienne: like... saying ‘ah he hates catelyn’ when catelyn is literally the first *lady* who treats brienne like a friend/peer/person she cares about is completely fucking idiotic because guess what if you’re like brienne usually most Attractive Girls™ the way cat is are not your best friends in life (I mean c. calls her a cow and they didn’t even meet on paper lmao and it’s obvious from b’s povs that she has bad experiences with other women in general), so the fact that cat actually sees her worth, accepts her as her sworn sword doing a thing that’s usually just between men, trusts her with her daughters’ lives, thinks she’s a better knight than jaime could be and treats her as it befits her station (in riverrun she had dresses made for her but brienne wouldn’t wear them) and is actually good to one of the few good people in these books who gets treated like dirt by most others should tell you exactly what grrm thinks of catelyn, ie nothing too bad, and that she’s a good person who fucked up on one thing that the narrative knows and doesn’t excuse, but like.... lmao that entire argument falls flat just for that;

Are these people jealous that Brienne is one of those pure character that their faves are not, so they feel like dismissing her as a bad character to make themselves feel good? you’re on to smth but as I ranted on twitter once: this all falls again to the fact that people Cannot Accept The Fact That An Ugly Girl Who Is Going To Stay Ugly is one of the moral hearts of these series and is An Actual Good Person Who Deserves Good Things in spite of not performing femininity, and who’s going to get the guy of her dreams (who is Hot) without settling and without becoming beautiful, and she’ll manage to realize her dreams even without becoming beautiful and regardless of having been treated like dirt because of her looks all her life, and like... apparently that is too much or too complicated to conceive and so either they have to decide she’s not That ugly or make her things she’s not or decide she’ll die early wow and whatever else, but like: the problem is that usually the Pure Moral Center Of A Story Who Happens To Be Female and gets her dreams and the hot dude is standard attractive. brienne is not, she has trauma because of that, and she’s still the best person in there (or one of the best) and she’ll get her dreams and the hot dude, and people can’t handle this specific concept nor admit that grrm, having done a thing that no one else has until now because there’s no other brienne in genre literature/in that way, is everything but a misogynist, since he actually, ah, wait, gave decent rep to people who most times are relegated to playing the best friend who stays single or are usually evil bc ugly antagonist women are everywhere, ugly protagonist women who are actually Good People™ and aren’t a paragon of Pure Virtue and don’t die virgins? not really. so: people can’t handle that brienne the way she is is a Good Person and The One True Knight In Westeros and it’s a sad thing but it just shows that maybe more people should go for that trope and that’s my two cents;

other than that no guy who can write the range of women grrm does can be a misogynist by definition, especially a guy who managed to get perfectly how it feels being a straight nonstandard attractive woman in society in general because my friends if before I stumbled into asoiaf I never related 100% to one fictional character ever there was a reason, and I read a lot, so people can bite me on that thing;

to end and comment on one thing:

how the world is against Brienne, but she never does harm to the world

congrats to OP they went THAT close to it: that’s the entire fucking point. being like brienne in her society (and not performing femininity™ correctly in ours) means that whatever you do people will criticize you and treat you like dirt even if you don’t mean them any harm. the world is absolutely against her because all the circumstances are stacked against her - she’s a woman, doing a man’s job, looking nonattractive and therefore other women treat her like dirt and men don’t consider her or see her as a threat and hate her for it because she’s better at their job than they are, wanting to be a knight which is a thing that’s technically forbidden bc women can’t be anointed as far as the westerosi law says, who’s doing that because she knows she’s good at it but every single person in her way doesn’t want her to succeed except for a handful, can’t use femininity to navigate the world and she has to survive as a woman in a men’s world in an extremely misogynistic medieval society and there’s a reason why no one but three people takes her seriously, ie that if you don’t count a few people in f&b that are history book material in her context/timeframe she’s an unicum and people tend to dislike it when you’re an unicum/sticking out/wanting to go against the system. the system is absolutely stacked against her, when everything she wants is do good to others and making her father proud and be a knight and find love, and even if it’s not that much to ask for her it’s, on paper, impossible.... and the entire point is that as impossible as it looks she’s definitely going to get it because she’s written exactly for that, and if people haven’t grasped that it’s her arc - overcoming a misogynistic society and living beyond gender roles regardless of your looks which in itself is groundbreakingly feminist - sorry for them but they’ll have a bad wake up call when grrm gets wow/ados out.

and that’s my two cents, but like: there’s nothing wrong in liking characters With Faults or evil ones and you can find Good Ones boring, just don’t try to make it pass like the author is a misogynist because the Good Character is a nonstandard attractive gnc woman because that’s actually a thing no one else ever did.

and this stated brienne is more similar to book!sansa than book!arya personality-wise so it’s an argument that doesn’t hold on even joking. /two cents

#brienne of tarth #janie writes meta #anti-cersei lannister #ch: catelyn tully #ch: sansa stark #ch: arya stark #idek #Anonymous #ask post

31 notes · View notes

viktorfm · 4 years

Text

(MAXENCE DANET-FAUVEL, NONBINARY) - Have you seen VIKTOR SAMUELS? VIKTOR is in HIS/THEIR SENIOR year. The VISUAL ARTS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say HE/THEY are OBSERVANT, INGENIOUS, RETICENT and DEPENDENT. Rumors say they’re a member of KINCAID. I heard from the gossip blog that THEY'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THEIR THERAPIST. (JAMES. 21. EST. THEY/THEM.)

dont. look at me. i know. anyways if it wasnt obvs i abandoned cupid (n darrow) in order 2 bring the two ocs tht he ws inspired by n ws a combination of bt. theyre better as different ppl methinks.

DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS TW

aesthetic.

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts, graveyards and half-empty wine bottles, sitting there for hours and talking to nothing, about nothing, a god complex, gold rings adorning both hands, barbwire baseball bats, having never played baseball in your life, deep eyebags and broken mirrors, a permanent chip on one’s shoulder, yearning, longing, wishing.

basics.

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - january 2nd, 1996

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′1″

hometown: preaker, vermont

sexuality: pansexual uwu

stats

favorite song: disorder, joy division / it’s getting faster, moving faster / now it’s getting out of hand / on the tenth floor, down the back stairs / it’s a no man’s land / lights are flashing, cars are crashing / getting frequent now / i’ve got the spirit, lose the feeling / let it out somehow

background.

born to mama and papa (preacher) samuels in preaker, vermont - fifteen minutes after his twin sister, tatiana samuels. years later, rosa samuels joined the gang.

was an awkward, quiet kid growing up, he didn’t interact well with others and preferred being left alone to dig up worms and draw on the walls of their childhood home. the only exception was his twin, really.

as he got older he grew out of this, but instead became like … sort of an asshole? maybe to compensate for years of childhood awkwardness. he’s the sort of person who will bite the hand that feeds him & developed into a full time nuisance by middle school, unlike tatiana who was much more subtle about her conniving manners.

always has been a fan of ‘darker’ materials. grim & creepy morbid shit. probably the biggest tim burton fan, ever since he was a kid … not a good look for a preacher’s son, but he never really felt ‘in’ with the rest of his family to begin with. classic black sheep syndrome.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid that probably prompted one or two or five phone calls home to assure everything was fine.

just really had a knack for art at a young age, from drawing to painting to playing with clay. it’s always been his thing and probably is the only thing he’s good at.

being twins with tatiana was hard. they were near opposite besides both being quite mean-spirited. tatiana handled being in public better, left a better image behind - but viktor had talent, more than she did. they loved each other deeply - y’know, those unbreakable twin bonds as cliche as it sounds - but found each other as competition for their parents’ attention. a rivalry for affection.

in high school is when viktor really started to act out. it started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service & almost had an exorcism performed on him.

his only redeemable trait was like … just his sheer talent in the arts. was in a 3d art ap course and specialized in sculptures. he could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because he was the problem child, the one who deserved to be disciplined for all his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with whatever she wanted much easier. on the bright-side, for her, i guess.

not a very motivated person - wasn’t planning on going to college, much less going to yates but his parents literally wrote & sent his college application for him because they weren’t going to house a deadbeat but had too much heart to kick him out onto the streets. cool!

he’s actually pretty smart but he just doesn’t apply himself. has a minor in english because he didn’t care for an extra course-load, but he’s good at writing & analyzing literature. is going to use it to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s. not for the kids, but because he likes to leave a trail of terror in whatever he does.

has been experimenting with himself since high school but college is where he really had started to crack down on himself. was out as pansexual & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college just … not to his parents, who don’t really need to know.

if you asked him if he believed in twins having a psychic connection with each other - he’d tell you he wouldn’t know. it felt believable at times, but sometimes he had no idea what was going on inside of tatiana’as head. on the other hand - viktor had always felt oddly transparent to her, like she knew all of his moves before he did. the only person who could predict him accurately.

( tw death, grief, overdose / hospitalization beyond this point )

when tatiana disappeared, viktor knew something was up. it was a twist in his gut, pure instinct that something wasn’t right. and it wasn’t right - and when she was proclaimed missing, they couldn’t find her.

and when tatiana died - viktor knew. it felt wrong, something cut so severely in him he could pinpoint her death to the second. he didn’t know how, or why, but he knew it. knew it before anybody else had.

afterwards he went on a sort of bender. he’d begun to struggle with a mild drug addiction late senior year of high school / early college, but he was managing it up until this point.

his mental health had also sunk to an all-time low, when it’d never been great to begin with. (manic & depressive episodes. once fixated on a sculpting project for six months and then knocked it off the table and destroyed it as soon as he finished it for no apparent reason.)

tatiana’s body wasn’t found immediately, and when it was … viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing & being hospitalized. spent six months in & out of psychiatric care after that.

came back to yates to finish his senior year because … for the reasons above, he hadn’t been able to complete it. just wants to get his credits and get out of here.

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief - causes him to spiral and be unpredictable in regards of his mental health. he stopped taking his medication, so. :/ some days are alright, other days are pretty bad.

personality & facts.

the human embodiment of a gremlin that was fed after midnight. a goblin, if you will. one of those cats with a narrow head and really big ears … that’s them!

a big horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies & probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than they should because they just … love those black & white vertical-striped pants.

can appreciate the ~urban legends~ at yates and likes to feed into the fear that surrounds them. is probably the cause of a few ‘anomalies’ and ‘paranormal sightings’ because they’re just … a jerk.

fashion alternates between e-boy (they would be tiktok famous if they were 17 & didn’t think that a majorly minor based app was weird.), millennial beetlejuice, and goth in a crop top & sweatpants. big fan of crop tops and a big fan of sweatpants.

they can be really fucking mean? petty, aggressive, a major instigator. will literally spit in your face for little to no reason, you could just look at them the wrong way. the kind of person who will stick their gum into someone else’s hair. other than that? they’re like … sort of okay. they’re not always mean, just a dick about 90% of the time lmao

like okay yeah they’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except they feel like it and believes it. it’s fine, they’re fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact that they’re probably getting into a fight whenever, considers themself to be a lover and not a fighter but that’a primarily because they fuck a lot. uses it as a coping mechanism, like they’re this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ and it’s … a lot. might have a problem with hypsersexuality but they’re not fully aware of it.

the preacher’s whore son, basically :)

pansexual & nonbinary, switches between he & they pronouns often and without a pattern, but they have such a fragile grip on their identity that you could call them ‘dog-faced bitch’ and they’d turn around like. sup.

vastly impulsive … like i said, they destroy their own creations for the fun of it. spends all their money on useless shit, will cheat on someone because they feel like it & likes the thrill, screams into the night sky frequently like a cat in heat.

will also spend months creating useless shit for no reason too. spent six of them sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of them & then took a sledgehammer to it.

they’re very super dramatic. would play the organ at church when nobody was looking after them and service was about to start. would just churn out these super haunting, creepy melodies like they were phantom of the opera. would do the same exact thing at home on their keyboard with the pipe organ setting whenever they got grounded until their parents took it away hbdsjfngkh

will absolutely not talk about their ‘time away’ because it’s not anyone’s business, not even their own younger sister. still refuses to talk about tatiana’s death, or their mental health, or their addiction (fallen back into it but it hasn’t gotten severe … yet :/), or anything involving their own emotions.

will just change the topic abruptly, no warning. asks about the jonas brothers instead and they fucking hate the jonas brothers.

that being said they’re absolutely not over tatiana’s death & it’s to the point of obsession over it. like there’s some kind of secret that needs to be uncovered, even though there just. isn’t. tatiana was their rock and they were pretty much dependent on her. kept them grounded. could control them when nobody else could, got into their head easier than others. it’s sort of like rosa lost two siblings that day because viktor hasn’t been the same since.

emotionally unavailable while also crying twice a day. cries during their brawls but still wins. is stony-faced when they tell you they cheated on you with your much hotter best friend.

will tell you straight up what they want from you, no bullshit & no beating around the bush. just blunt. if they want to fuck, nothing else, then that’s it. if they feel deviation or developing feelings then they’ll ghost in less than a second. is awful like that but feels no shame.

but also emotional as shit and it’s confusing. will cry on a whim and then flip you off if you try to console them or ask them what’s up. will bite you.

they go to therapy but they just fuck around and wastes their therapists’ time … also is fucking their therapist, but that’s neither here nor there. so they’re not really getting the help they need.

likes to be intimidating but not … with their body or anything because they’re a twig but uses their love & knowledge of horror and creepy shit to their advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before (also is a big fan of sfx makeup & has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids around with a chainsaw without the chain on halloween every year.

generally never doing good, both mental health wise & morally. would probably steal candy from a baby for funsies.

i don’t know if there’s a good to them somewhere deep down, but they don’t see any issues with themself either. nothing really breaks through to them anymore because the only person who ever made them stop and think about their actions was tatiana, and well, y’know. :/

an introverted reclusive type who doesn’t like most people or going out, but does so anyway if it means a quick high & a cheap thrill.

pretty observant and likes to analyze people even though they’re often like … partially wrong. judgmental because they like to make people feel bad, not because they’re a righteous mighty person. because they’re not. so like, a hypocrite!

wanted connections.

religious trauma? oh worm ;; three cheers fr <3 guilt <3 anyways uh. just people tht viktor hs known thru the church in some way even tho hes a fkn. freak now. maybe even family friends.

the horror of our love :/ ;; hmm. any romance tht cld b toxic i think this cld fit. just rly a bad fit. viktor doesnt rly know hw to love so nothing rly lasts bt. maybe they try n try n nothing works bt they keep trying. cld also just be anything unrequited.

little fkn gremlins ;; theyre all evil n mean. bt theyre all friends. <3

you are nothing ;; uuh. enemy plots. spicy enemies. rly bad enemies. rivals. they r brutal towards each other bcos nothing viktor does is ever soft.

fuck u dont pity me ;; uh. people who try to get close to viktor n he just. bites at them. he’s like no. bc he assumes ppl who r kind in response 2 his vileness r. theres smth wrong w them. n it might hv to do with pity. n he hates pity.

ugh. locals x ;; ppl who also grew up around preaker, vermont. the samuels r <3 well known folks n the uh. hm. the murder is an ongoing case. so they cld know abt it <3

dont tell anybody x ;; this is for soft plots. i dont know much about soft plots but.

maybe i am part of the problem ;; the problem is chlamydiagate. this is a hook-ups connection. fwbs n one night stands. ppl viktor hs brutally ghosted. he doesnt acknowledge their existence outside of these events, perhaps.

dont u just wna go apeshit ;; this is where viktor becomes a bad influence.

bt uh. anything. pelase

#yatesintro #death tw #grief tw #murder tw #addiction tw #drug abuse tw #hospitalization tw #overdose tw #hypersexuality mention #religion mention #zooweemama

8 notes · View notes

kierongillen · 5 years

Text

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 44

Spoilers, obv.

I'm aware that this is either going to be a relatively short one or an epic one. The risk of the latter is that rather than just talking about the issue, for the first time I'm free to talk about the series as a whole, and so talk about some of those other choices. There'll be some of that, but it would warp the nature of the notes, and give some false perspective. I can talk about it being over now, sure, but talking about it all means I'm not talking about this element. Not least because I can't talk about it all – there's still the question of issue 45.

But still. There's a lot to talk about, and a lot of hard things in here to do. We knew where we going, but the devil is in the details. The devil's everywhere.

Jamie/Matt's Cover

Minerva finally gets her head-shot. I was a little worried that people would realise exactly what was happening to Minerva here, but I didn't see anyone realise she's falling, and speculate why. Of course, I knew what it was and couldn't not see it. That's how it works.

It's a striking last image though – this is an especially blank glance, in the middle of all the motion. Matt's pink/white nimbus is really powerful too.

Emma Rios/Miquel Muerto

Emma's one of our favourite artists, and we were so glad that we managed to get her before the end. Emma's always someone who gets this evocative drama of it all – this is obviously a momentous cover, but you don't know the moment until reading. Laura and Lucifer being a core relationship, and the hint of leaving. Miquel does strong, atmospheric things with the colours as well. It's a great cover to end the story on. On - Pretty Deadly is back on the same day as 45, and I can't wait. Gets!

IFC

In terms of minor things we did which have a big emotional effect, changing the gods' names to their human names was certainly one. It sits there and stings.

Page 1

This issue is particularly tightly wound, so we set the clock on the issue in this one page.

I had a couple of people wonder where the cops came from. I presume it's because the delay in publication – the "we have to go now because of woden's tape has revealed we're almost all complicit" is the only reason why they went for Minerva immediately.

For a page that's so tightly wound, Jamie does some great establishing here. Opening panel with the fire in top of Valhalla, to link to last issue. A shot with all these people in it – a character beat, and three extremely dialogue low panels.

Page 2

Riff on Better The Devil You Know.

The weird rhythm in WicDiv is the arcs-which-take-place-in-a-very-short-time and arcs-which-take-place-over-months. Faust act, Rising Action, Imperial Phase II, "Okay" are the over-a-short time. Fandemonium, Commercial Suicide, Imperial Phase I and Mothering Invention are the extended ones. The closest to one which does both is Faust Act, which spreads its action over a week or two.

Page 3

Lovely stuff in here with Jamie, in terms of character work – obviously this is Lucifer hamming it up, but seeing individual responses around the room is a hell of a thing. Minerva's a total mess here.

Valentine giving up clever insults at this point is probably a thing.

Page 4-5 "Bothersome" is a very Lucifer word. The expression in panel 2 is also key Lucifer – that eye-roll of it.

Laura's captions also arrive mid way through – key, as they're clearly going to be key. I was thinking of having them at the start of page 3 as well, but we can let us live in the moment.

Laura's performance tentacles is a lovely panel – seeing how Matt works the colours on the space. The blues fading to white, the reds. Honestly, this is making me miss working with Matt already, and seeing how good he and Jamie are together.

Callbacks here to Lucifer in the first arc – the cycle of it all.

"There were two girls in hell" makes me well up. |It's one of my favourite Jamie expressions in the issue.

Page 6-7

When planning the larger structure of WicDiv, I was aware that I made certain calls in hope I would be able to save people. The early "death" of the Heads was actually a way to protect them. I was aware that characters who were in play were far more likely to die, as they had more chances to do so. I knew I could likely save the heads, so by making them heads, I made it more likely.

I originally planned for Dionysus to die, but I couldn't bear it. His hubris was real, but the idea that someone could give so much without anyone really caring or doing something for him was too heart breaking, even for me. I realised during Rising Action that I could actually save him – the pieces were already in play, and I just had to lean into those relationships to lead to Baph's choices. At the start, I wasn't sure where Baphomet ended in year 4 – part of me thought he'd survive, as I didn't have that final beat for him at the start. That I didn't have a hard end for Baphomet always made him open to the story finding another purpose for him – which is an end which I can't imagine any other way now. WicDiv is an awful necessary machine.

That applied to Lucifer too. She was a darling, obviously, but she was always going to be trouble. Part of me was aware that she could come back and almost immediately get killed again. I'd like her to make it out, but it was possible she wouldn't.

So, as I said last time, when I realised she was the final opposition I was pleased – that was perfect to the themes and the structure.

I wrote in my synopsis that Laura uses a performance to touch Lucifer and convince her into renouncing her godhood, and left it at that.

There it sat until I came to script it.

Because, in all honesty, I had no idea how Laura was going to convince Lucifer to give up her godhood. I just trusted that there would be some way Laura could reach her. Or, really, I hoped there was – because I knew if I wrote something that didn't feel convincing to me, I wouldn't do the scene. Lucifer would have died instead.

So, the day came when I was scripting this sequence, and I started writing, and wondered what the performance would be, and I just wrote "Laura descends the Ananke head sequence and drags Luci back."

Then I leaned back, a little shocked, because that was clearly right, and so clearly fit with what the series does – a final deconstruction of one of our core visual icons, giving a new way to look at the sequence and think about it. It was just there. As if it was there all along. Or just the sort of thought that emerges when you've been obsessed over this fucking thing for five years.

I'm aware of the weird resonance as well – Laura's finding a performance to save a friend is me finding a performance to save a character. WicDiv was a weird book.

Jamie and Matt go to town, of course – the melting faces are just painful, and wonderfully done. The fleshy reds, the fires. How Clayton uses the captions across the page to play with pacing...

I originally suggested we do it completely as the WicDiv spread, with Laura crawling across the centre spread and making her way up – that it would be treating what is meant to be two columns as a space was decided to be too much, so instead we went with flipping to a subjective perspective on a space that we've only experienced from a single objective outside viewpoint. That's got magic too.

Page 8

A long time to get to this kiss, right?

We moved the dialogue around a little to nail some moments – we had the magic effect on the final panel so the transition to the next page wasn't too much.

The annoyance of Eleanor in the last panel is just my everything. I described it to Jamie by using a metaphor of me in my early thirties, having split up with an Ex, and torn between various places, including seriously wondering whether, after everything, the simple answer to my sexuality stuff was that I was just gay. How annoyed I would have been, after all those years, if it was that. Just a "Oh, FFS. I'm just gay! Why didn't I get that earlier? Why have I wasted all this time? What a fucking fool I am."

That.

Page 9

Repeat of core WicDivian imagery, turned to a different purpose. After these magificent godly reveals, we do this very normal world.

Yeah. This would have been a happy place to end the series.

Page 10

Laura wants to be better, of course. It's easy to say you want to do better.

A+ Cassandra-ing in the background there.

Page 11

Now, Minerva is dead in a few pages time, and she is a genuine monster, trapped in a system of her own making. But I didn't want to send her into the void thinking she had that horror awaiting her. I can't forgive her, but I can give her a little peace.

Title drop, of course, with a wonderful expression by Jamie. There's a lot here.

Okay, let's do this.

"Okay" is a phrase that's haunted WicDiv. We've come back to it multiple times – it's a fascinating word in the English language, and has caused problems for people translating it, in the mixture of ambivalence and optimism in it is really tricky. Clearly, we use everything inside the word.

It wasn't my Dad's last words, but it's the last exchange I remember with him. Everyone else was out, and I was helping him back to his seat. He says to me.

"Son, I know this is strange, but I can't help but think it's going to be okay."

And I can almost imagine my eyes bulging out of my head, as I wanted to howl at him: no, Dad. It really fucking isn't.

This comes up almost verbatim in the first arc, with the exchange between Laura and Lucifer before she breaks out. The series is about many things, but my Father's death was the core inspiration for it, and that "It's going to be okay" haunted me and it.

I don't think this is what my Dad meant, clearly, but it's how I've ended up metabolising it. I've been signing "It's going to be okay" when I sign Faust Acts, partially as it's the WicDiv phrase, partially as a secret-promise-that-they-won't-all-die-and-there-is-hope and partially because "When death comes, it's okay" is that buried in it. If I had to boil the book down to a sentence, it'd be it. It means different things depending how you look at it. That's all I've got.

Page 12

I talk about Solving The Equation of the third year, and Dio being in play for this section is absolutely part of it.

That first panel. I said that the cast were all people I'd have killed to be at various stages of my life. Umar is someone I try to be now. I don't succeed, but he's a worthy goal. Kind is not soft and all that.

While the silent panel is something you've all seen before, it's worth highlighting how good Jamie is. The favourite gesture of the scene is the eyes upwards of Cassandra – I don’t remember Jamie using this angle before, and it's really striking. I suddenly miss that I won't be working with Jamie again for a while. Have fun, Jamie. You were the best.

And now, this.

Page 13-14-15

"It would take a real monster to kill a kid" is one of those lines that have been sitting in the files since the beginning.

There was a fan artist in the WicDiv community early on who kept on doing these totally charming portraits of Baal and Minerva playing around in a big brother and little sister way. Every time I saw them, I felt both love for the art, and a sadness. "In four years time, you are going to have a terrible day."

That's one of the weirdest things of the last four years – that. Knowing that stuff is out there.

Looking at this at a little distance, I see the elements in – the standing on the edge, the "Please Don't" and all that. I sigh. This is awful and upsetting and that page turn is one of the hardest in the series. I wish Valentine would forgive himself, but he couldn't.

This is the sort of thing I want to write a lot about, and want to write nothing. I think I'll keep it as just the facts, in terms of trying to plot this.

Occasionally you get to a knot – I knew Valentine had to kill Minerva, that Valentine couldn't bear to live after that was done and that Minerva had to die after Baal gave up his powers. How to you put those three together, without introducing something else.

C asked "Where does it happen? Could it happen somewhere high?" and the rest was there. Falling being the repeating WicDiv image as well.

I think I pictures this actually side on, without the drop. Jamie's choice is better, just because of the eyes.

The three panels is something we're returned too, but choosing the distance was key. You know it's there, but I didn't want to revel in the dead bodies. This is a different kind of death to many of the ones in the book, and has to be treated as such. Any more blood than shows they're dead would be obscene.

I sigh again. I note that Matt does the lights on the guns perfectly, but I want to highlight craft. The shot of eveyrone waiting is a huge thing – Inanna's grief, Dio stepping in, and the crossed arms of Cassandra...

I think it was when I was plotting the second year at WicDiv that I realised that I couldn't see a way out of this which didn't involve the majority of the cast ending up in jail for a while. I was okay with that, as it made some sense. It's thematically resonant for a few ways – it's a choice which shows their acceptance of their acts, and their actual humanity as well as an understanding of their power, and lots more.

However, due to all the straight, white characters being dead, it does mean that a all-queer all-PoC-minus-Lucifer cast going to jail, in the current jail system. That said, while far from perfect, the UK is not the US. I don't think I could have written this ending in the US. Even in the UK, I safety-proof it conceptually as much as I can.

They are all queer, and almost all PoC... but they are also superhumans (and mostly rich.) They have a degree of power, and options which are not open to other people... and it is their one chance to try and navigate this space with no-one else (either them or other humans) getting killed. It's their last chance to act in good faith to the rest of the species.

I wouldn't trust the system if they were people without their resources. They're not. And this is the least-worst choice I can see.

I'm sure some of you will disagree with me on that.

More safety-proofing – Voluntuaryism is an anarchist idea. "The only true order is voluntary order" basically.

18-19-20

This is a lot of space for a sequence which is relatively minor dramatic weight, but as we segue towards the end, we want it to breathe a little. Plus there's the matter of the page turns – the previous interstitial was about pushing that as well, so both the "surrender" and Laura's final headshot are on a turn.

Matt's lighting in this sequence is wonderful – I said to Jamie that I was thinking of almost suggesting we're changing genre before Laura steps in. It's a "The special forces go after Batman" sort of sequence. I was thinking of the one from Batman: Year Zero, which is some top class special forces entering darkened environments.

Another moment of the weird-colouring-in-a-balloon, and the actually living in the moment.

Taking the guns is more safety-proofing, showing they are not acting in blind faith of the system. That Laura can take the guns also shows that Laura likely could walk out of prison any time she wants, and the rest will be able to do the same too.

(Not that the people in power know they don't presently have access to their big ones, of course.)

We originally has Cass shouting that final line, but had it much more matter of fact. This is kind of past shouting.

21-22

Yeah, this is calling back all manner of stuff. Back to the courtroom.

Jamie asked me a lot about the final expression, as is only right. This is a story where we've used head shots a lot, normally with pose. This is something else.

Worth noting that Laura couldn't be sentenced to life imprisonment. She's 18 so would be sentenced for "custody for life". Not that the story actually says what she's been sentenced to that either – we cut before the sentence is given. Don’t expect a firm answer to that in next issue either.

But they all have been sentenced to life, in the obvious metaphorical way. Laura has been depressed and self-destructive to the point of a death wish throughout. At the end, she's decided to try to live.

I count that as bitter sweet, and I count that as a win. I'm proud of her. I'm proud of them all.

I'm in tears now.

24-28

And we were when compiling the letters page. Thanks you lot.

Jamie and I both had really intense feelings about the final cover. It's clear why we've kept it secret (it gives away Laura survives) but to see this young woman we've been writing about older was incredibly moving.

Laura was 20 years younger than me at the start of WicDiv, and she's 20 years older than me at the end. Feeling suspended between the two poles, identically. The duality of it, one more time.

I love this cover so much, and I loved these characters, this book, you lot.

Thanks for reading.

#WicDiv #the wicked and the divine #Writer notes

190 notes · View notes

citialiin · 4 years

Text

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: @forseenclade thank you ! man i am so bad at doing memes. tagging: @blossomingbeelzebug @zhrets @lupichorous @dansiere yayayayayayayaya

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated [ z/iggy stardust is DEFINITELY not my original character, but 683 is, and every single part of how i rp ziggy from his backstory to his personality was made up by me. that being said, ziggy is still a character that exists in media. ]

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ im pretty sure ziggy is tied with the thin white duke as one of b*wie’s most famous fictional personas? ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES ? / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. [ maybe a little overrated ]

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ celebrity rock god of limitless talent vs inevitable overrated washup. most celebrities are polarizing anyways ]

How strictly do you follow canon? — there isnt much canon to go off of i think? the album barely even states if ziggy is an alien and b*wie himself got really wishy washy about it (sometimes saying z is a human who was contacted by aliens, he was an alien himself, etc). i dont think we know anything about him besides what he looks like (red hair / weird eyes / pale / “well hung” lmao) and he has a band called the spiders from mars, he plays the guitar left handed, he’s bisexual + androgynous, and he’s charming and popular with the teens but inevitably is a victim of his own ego. and he dies. that too. but that’s literally it! we know Nothing else about him. so i filled in all the gaps because my brain has worms. theres a little bit of the story that verges on fantasy (that he’s some sort of messiah messenger for “the infinites,” whatever the fuck THAT means, david) so i nix that because i prefer hard scifi. and theres one BIG part that i just ... deleted out of his canon, in that the world is ending in 5 years in his timeline, and he’s like ... aware of this ? but that’s dumb and confusing. i legit dont care anymore. my OC now.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — im so embarrassed i know i could be genuine and actually try but i have brain blockajjolajlakala33lak33klak333ak3jka3akjj323j3 i guess it’s like ... ziggy is truly the ultimate expression OF humanity because he reveals everything both wrong and right about the human condition, he literally embodies the best of humanity and the worst at the same time, he’s a really interesting critique on the idea of genuineness/earnestness vs commercalism in art, the perils of fame, and also how humans are so inherently corrupting? a lot of thematic stuff i like exploring is like what is innate to humans vs what is learned behavior, what are things that humans do naturally that ziggy mimics out of his desire to be like us? i think he has a really good story arc -- he went from being a literal nameless CLONE in a society full of pragmatic forward thinking science-oriented people to a sell out rockstar celebrity in a society of people that value individualism and self expression and art, but in the process completely lost his mind and himself and gave into the worst that humanity has to offer like rampant selfishness, drug abuse, self destructive tendencies, etc. characters changing is always interesting and ziggy truly changes for the worse -- but he is never just black and white, he was never good and then suddenly evil, he just was always the same person putting on different facades and trying to be himself by constructing an identity that maybe was who he wanted to be versus who he actually is. i dont know what im talking about. hes just an alien trying to be too hard to be human in all the wrong ways. i just like how “gray” ziggy is. he isnt good or bad, he can be very nice and he can be very mean, he’s overtly showboating confident but at the same time deeply afflicted with self-consciousness (why tf else would anyone be So obsessed with how they present themselves?). hes an icon of individualism but also commercialism. he’s freakishly alien but is almost more human than humans themselves. he struggles as lot in his head -- which makes for interesting writing, i guess !! Im so emabrrased im not going to go back and read what i wrote so if i typoed dont look at me

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — i think ziggy comes across as really mean and nothing else. his horrible bitchy rudeness comes across as hee hee hoo hoo sassy isnt he a rascal when it’s supposed to be more like ... he’s so far gone into the celebrity delusion he’s conflated aggressive rudeness with charmingness because no one told him otherwise and everyone worships him to the point where he’s just given into the delusion that he can do no wrong. i think theres the general simplification problem that happens with a lot of fictional characters, it’s easy to see him as just a whacky sassy glittery quirky rockstar when i guess it avoids the inherent tragedy of like ... everything else about him. his totally fake and false sense of identity built up from superficial things like fame and labels and stardom. maybe my version of ziggy is just too weirdly depressing and sad when i know his original iteration wasn’t quite so ... grim. im not very sure tbh.

What inspired you to rp your muse? — hmmm ... a lot of things! i just really got into b*wie stuff in early 2019, i’ve ALWAYS loved aliens and sci-fi, and i was really shocked that db sets up such great visual storytelling potential but does it through music. i just really liked ziggys “story” and i like any chance to think about aliens so i just got invested into piecing together a little backstory for him using, like, the cumulative knowledge of literally every other piece of science fiction ive ever consumed in my life. this was summer 2019 when i was making initial pitches for my thesis film, and so i just randomly decided to pitch “animated version of ziggy stardust” as one of the potential ideas. shockingly everyone liked it a lot and so did my professor who thought it was really cool, and then i just ended up sticking with the character and working on him for an entire year. ziggy became my hobby but also my homework. he was such a fun character because everything about him was interesting to me and i had just enough source material to have a starting point but so much room to take him in any direction i wanted to.

What keeps your inspiration going? — honestly, yooooou guyssssss. i have some really amazing fwends that ive met thru here .... and some of our dumb stupid stories have literally become NOVEL length. it just self generates inspiration because you realize the limitless amount of stories you could tell with this one single character when your character enters his story or he enters their story and etc. etc. ive drawn endless amounts of comics and stuff for him ... ziggy is just so endlessly interesting ... cringe be cringed bro but recently (i know this sounds dumb bear with me or die.) ive kind of realized a lot of how i rp z comes as some metaphor for the experience of being an asian immigrant/being asian in the US -- his home “culture” is a lot stricter than the rampant selfish individualism of the usa (he only lives in the uk and usa, so he thinks the whole planet is like this), he’s dissuaded from standing out from his community and his selfishness becomes a community burden rather than a personal flaw, and when he does come to earth, he goes through such awful culture shock, literally nothing makes sense to him and everything is Different. and while some things are different in a Nice way, something things are different in an Awful way, and he’s given the option between losing his true personal identity as an atominan and giving it up to be a human. the allure of being a human is a little too much but losing yourself like this is traumatic, in a way. obvs like ... a little silly and definitely not something that i actively intended to put into his story arc, its just something that fell into place cuz i guess i worked so closely with my own personal experiences and feelings of “alienation” (pun intended) to try to understand how he would feel being a literal alien an shid. its cathartic to write about him. but he also has a lot of my own personal interests just thrown in -- 70s fashion, scifi, science, tryhard implications about human nature, art history, whatever dumb nonsense i get into

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO / SOMETIMES?

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO [ i would prefer information to spring up organically in the story but cuz threads always get dropped i end up just telling people outright. i didnt want anyone to know his home planet/his old name but barely anyone writes enough with ziggy to get to that point to reveal it (i legit managed to do it organically Once) so i just had to write it in a post lmao orz ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO [ wrote a ton of drabbles ! drew a ton of comics! ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / I DUNNO?

Are you confident in your writing? YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. / IDK ?

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — definitely! like i said ... my version of ziggy ended up being the protag of my thesis film and for 1 yr straight his characterization, backstory, design, and even how i wanted to animate his fucking movements (ziggy stardust timing charts.) were beaten to death in a classroom environment, torn apart and rebuilt into something better. had i stayed with what i originally wanted to go with, ziggy would be so different than how i write him 2day. amazingly my pre production professor is a literal two time emmy award winning storyboard artist and animator so he definitely helped me design him (my version of ziggy is meant for ... a cartoon, obviously, not real life) and give him a better backstory? and my post production professor is a retired disney animator who worked on hercules and a bunch of old disney channel shows? had i gone wah wah wah i dont want to hear ur critiques i wouldnt have made him better. if you ever think ziggy seems inconsistent or poorly written ... tell me !! i literally major in ... animation. cartoons. entertainment. my job is to entertain you. if you are not entertained, there is a problem. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED ????

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — I LOVE QUESTIONS? i love ... answering questions ... if you ask me something ill come kiss you.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — sure! i dont know why that would happen, though, because i mean ... he’s an OC. but i gues someone could be like “i feel like this is incongruous to things you’ve previously established in his character” or somethin

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — i feel like a lot of b*wie stans would find my version of ziggy weird but i mean thats fine! i guess my goal is to have a well written character, not necessarily an accurate version of ziggy

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — if you hate MY version of ziggy thats fine but if u hate ziggy stardust in general (like the bowie concept) then u need some taste what the fuck is cooler than a egomaniac genderless bisexual rockstar alien with red hair? nothing. go back to watching your CW shows you dirty filthy normie

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — yes! dm me though. dont clown me on the dash like that. i usually write your replies 12 AM - 4 AM so it’s expected.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — hmmm ... maybe! i do like to talk to people and i am VERY nice, trust me, if youre ever sad ill do everything i can to make you feel better. but im quiet! i dont really reach out to people and i tend to just keep to myself. im not very social or extroverted at all haha i barely can make ooc posts without feeling like god’s coming to beat my head in with a brick. im sitting here at 5:30 AM with this meme feeling like if i post it i will die (BUT I MUST)

#a lot of it is under the readmore because these always get so long and mine is long long long long long long long long long long long #ooc #KEEP YOUR 'LECTRIC EYE ON ME ; queue #and thakn you for tagging me ! i like to mkae Words

8 notes · View notes

aconstantache · 4 years

Text

MY FAVOURITE ROMANCE NOVELS OF 2019

Don’t You Forget About Me by Mhairi McFarlane - I really, really loved this extremely sweet book about change and growing up but also about recovering from trauma. I don’t read a lot of New Adult (and I wouldn’t classify this as that anyway) mostly bc its so saturated with stories that seem to revel in trauma and pain. This is like, the opposite of that. A great slow burn romance with excellent Persuasion-y vibes.

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston - Everyone has read this and it deserves all the plaudits just because it is so unrepentantly and unreservedly romantic ALL THE TIME. It is also deeply ridiculous and not just bc its about a prince of england falling in love with the potus’ son. But literally who cares

The Gay Girl’s Guide to Ruining Prom by Siera Maley - This book is also completely ridiculous and features an insane plot where one girl is attempting to help her best friend by ‘dating’ and then dumping the girl that just broke said best friend’s heart. A dumb plan that predictably goes awry! But I’m a fool for stories where people fall for people they should Definitely Not fall for.

Hazard and Somerset Series by Gregory Ashe - While I have enjoyed these books, I am also loathe to recommend them bc they genuinely come with a myriad of issues. I love the relationship between the two middle-aged detectives in small town America. They have a... messy past from back when they went to the same high school but both characters are satisfyingly layered and complex. There are like, 7 of these books so every beat between them gets played and every issue is mined. Everything that is not their relationship? I have several qualms.

A Question of Us by Mary Jayne Baker - Classic best-friends-to-lovers excellence set against the backdrop of a pub crawl quiz type thing. This means a lot of the plot is superfluous but the main relationship feels so warm and natural and real and also there is so much pining.

Serpent & Dove by Shelby Mahurin - A witch-hunter ends up in a ‘marriage of convenience’ with a (unbeknownst to him) witch. He’s holier than thou and self-sacrificing and she is... not. An A++ dynamic and great world-building. I read this bc someone said it was like a Hozier song and y’know its a valid comment

The Simple Wild by K.A. Tucker - Another book that definitely has its problems (notably having the ‘hero’ being annoyingly shame-y about makeup) but I still loved it sooo much. Hashtag city girl arrives in the wilds of Alaska to visit her dying dad and falls for the one guy determined to never leave. Her parents had the same issue and ended up divorcing when she was a child so there’s no hope for her burgeoning new relationship right? (Wrong, obvs.)

A Beastly Kind of Earl by Mia Vincy - Historical romance is way more ‘miss’ than ‘hit’ for me these days but this new series from Mia Vincy is wonderful. I loved the first book too but the second is my fave. I genuinely laughed out loud so many times. The blurb makes the plot sound so convoluted but its really a pretty simple story about two different people making a home together. They like each other A Lot and that’s deeply satisfying.

#romance novels #romance recs

24 notes · View notes

theharellan · 4 years

Text

so far i’ve read three trees to midnight, horror of hormak, and callback. i’m trying to practise restraint and leave the last story until i’m at least done with my initial read-through of the material most relevant to my characters which ksjdf. is very hard but here’s notes i’ve taken so far:

oh and btw pls dont r/b this!

if you want a pretty good demonstration of why solas and cole speak with discomfort about how spirits are used in thedas, “wisp darts” may be a pretty good example. it’s likely the wisps aren’t fully-formed spirits, more akin to the pieces of pieces cole refers to the mortalitasi using. still a pretty callous way to use something that has some presence, even if it’s not a person.

there’s a reference to a talented tevinter mage healer being able to reattach arms with magic, through use of spirits.

there is a lot of discord among the qunari rn, both within different arms and without. the bas-taar, the antaam keeper of bas slaves, essentially, thinks of the ashaad with disdain- “even the black-and-white-striped vitaar that painted the huntmaster’s face was drawn to symbolise sight, finding, rather than battle and power, as befitted the antaam.” funnily the huntsmaster is actually not antaam but ben-hassrath, therefore a priest, but that his attitude doesn’t draw notice indicates this isn’t abnormal for the ashaad. so like not only do at least some of the antaam and ben-hassrath have beef, but there’s beef within the antaam.

if i read it right, the dwarven deep roads gave way to purely elven ruins, and the warden narrator notes that this isn’t completely unheard of. not only that but there are dwarven carvings of elves, and it’s only later the elven bas-relief take over. i’ll prob need to reread to wrap my head about it, i wonder the relation between the dwarves and elves there.

fucked up as the art itself was, i love the glimpse we got into true elven art. the lack of age made me pause-- solas indicates that spirits can preserve things, so it could be that, or could someone be upkeeping it? and the change the art went through, going from healing to putting the hurt (the taint?) into people. whether this is just ramesh’s perception changing or magic idk, but i also wouldn’t be surprised if ancient elven magic shifted as the viewer looked at it, too.

solas’ reasoning for discomfort abt the wardens grows tbh when i think about the art. while the wardens don’t change themselves the way (what i assume to be) ghilan’nain’s creations have, they are still taking the blight into them oftentimes unwillingly. it’s the sort of parallel that would be difficult to let go to say the least.

there was a yellow-green lyrium stone hanging from the ceiling, something we’ve apparently only seen before in the hissing wastes (around rifts). cole makes reference to it being a result of venatori trying to make red lyrium “less angry,” which i guess would make sense given all the blight around the lyrium? but who knows if they’re connected. it’s a pretty good bet that green lyrium is somehow touched or related to the Fade/sky in ways the blue stuff isn’t.

a lot about the spirit of regret made me wonder both about it and about solas. there was a lot to it that didn’t match up to solas’ motivations-- glee in the dread that was coming, for example, doesn’t match, calling itself the regret of a god. this is honestly expected as spirits don’t create perfect replicas, tho still interesting. and that what felled it wasn’t a lack of regret, but an ownage of said regret. idk i feel it has greater implications for “demons” because things like pride, desire, rage aren’t bad but natural human emotions, and sometimes necessary or even good. this ramble is just becoming the plot to pixar’s inside out. regret was a good and i wish things had ended less violently for it, even if it will likely reform in the fade. i will be putting more stuff out abt regret tbh b/c i like to think it and solas spoke prior to him leaving the inquisition but for now i’ll leave it be.

the implications for solas? - “I regret acting alone!” / “I regret using my friends!” / “I regret now!” as sutherland himself notes it seems like he was echoing the regret that drew it to skyhold, and all these things apply to solas 1000%. the thing about solas’ relationship with regret is that while he does “own it” in the sense that he will admit regretting-- a lot of things, and often-- his relationship with it is pretty unhealthy and doesn’t lead him to new paths, at least not as of now. he’s regretful but also feels stripped of other choices. - “There might have been a better choice, said a thought it had not been allowed.” this line makes me think about inquisitors who vowed to redeem solas, specifically thora, but what else is new there. namely, the lines at the end of his trespasser screne aren’t so much in the spirit of “save our friend from himself, if we can” but “i’ll show you there’s another way.” which is much closer to how i imagine the threat solas poses could be nullified (without just pure opposition, anyway, which imo may solve the solas dilemma but would just be slapping a bandage on a world that’s bleeding out). - that the final fresco became the scene of flemythal’s death and that the figure was both lupine and reptilian obvs confirms that it was absorption and not possession which, thanks i hated that theory for many reasons. whether the implication is that solas has lost some of his own identity as a result or it’s merely symbolic we’ll see, i guess. i do personally hc that it changes his relationship with his own magic and not necessarily for the better. - tbh the moral sutherland and the order from divine victoria is interesting considering-- regret did accept and move on? which has implications for more than just solas but spirits in general. idk i’ll talk abt this one more once a) i reread it and b) i read the other relevant stories for solas b/c i know there’s more

on a brighter note, it was sweet and so good to see the inquisition from the POV of people not in the inner circle. i loved the note of skyhold being stripped bare by people taking keepsakes, and how much it meant to sutherland

overall so far i think my fave has been three trees to midnight, i thought the chemistry between the characters rang the most true. i’ll have to go back and reread down among the dead mean as i know it has spirit-relevant stuff but i wanted to read horrors of hormak......... so.

oh i wanted to add if you’d like more coherent summaries, i’d suggest felassan’s tevinter nights tag. everything i talk abt in here will prob end up rewritten on solas or my multimuse (like the qunari stuff is relevant to tetrak) rn it’s just........... words.

#dragon age spoilers #tevinter nights spoilers #( ooc )#he calls himself Pride ( about )#[ my mind is real fuzzy now rip ]

6 notes · View notes