#they feel so invalidating
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#I hate when women online make blanket statements like: oh women care more about emotions than physical attractiveness when it comes to sex#we have to have an emotional connection before we can get aroused#ugh NO fuck off you don’t speak for me#YOU have to have some kind of emotional connection before you get aroused#I see a hot guy across the bar and can absolutely instantly get wet and want to fuck him#(I do not because 1) I am in a monogamous relationship 2) I would be way to shy and 3) worried about STIs#but it has absolutely nothing about lack of desire or needing an emotional connection#if I was single and safety was guaranteed I would absolutely be down to fuck)#I just hate those kind of comments#they feel so invalidating#and always reek of that weird: women unlike those nasty men have a more evolved sense of attraction#(ngl I’m a little drunk and I’m just kind of sore about it#stop acting like women’s attraction is some special magical thing#getting wet for someone else because they’re smoking hot isn’t that big of a deal#it’s just physical attraction and whatever sexy persona you unconsciously project into people#some women experience and some don’t#it’s a big array of experience and none are more or any less special than the other)
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shoutout to people who didn't always know actually. shoutout to those that didn't have dysphoria since childhood or know something was different about them or act different or be noticeably queer. i can't be the only one and i love you
i love you <3
#i only found out being something other than cishet was a thing about three years ago! of my own volition! reading fanfic and being a kid!#that being said i dont remember a lot of my childhood [probably due to trauma]#but even now...i feel a little invalid for not being able to say ive always felt different#so hi hello i love you lets hold hands and watch the sun rise#transgender#queer#trans positivity#queer positivity#pansexual#< because i am and this is about that#i hope these are the right tags i am so aa...
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Broke: Saying the only reason Mai acted against Azula in the boiling rock was because of Zuko but that's okay
Woke: Saying that Mai was probably not the biggest fan of Azula in the first place because of her treatment of both herself and Ty Lee, but demonizing her for being selfish and not caring/ understanding Zuko's decision to leave the FN and join the Gaang
Bespoke: Realizing that although Mai's character and her relationship with Zuko was flawed, she genuinely cared about him and Ty Lee and she still has more of her journey to complete without being an accessory to Zuko's story
#it feels like people either respect mai or they respect katara#like guess what they are both allowed to be angry because they both have trauma and shit to deal with#so lets not compare them in order to invalidate their characters or certain ships#mai#zuko#the boiling rock#atla#avatar the last airbender#maiko
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I've been told my comic feels like it was written by AI.
I suppose I'm not trying to be groundbreaking. I'm not interested in pioneering genres. I'm not writing for the purpose of literary analysis.
But written by AI...?
I'm already someone who has my humanity questioned. My identity erased. My existence disrespected. It could be worse. Anything could be worse.
But AI?
I spend weeks writing single scenes, toiling over the implications of single lines. I have goals. My writing has intent.
If you cared to read deeper, perhaps you'd see the themes. Maybe then you'd see the value. If you tried to analyze it maybe you'd see something there.
Maybe you'd see me.
Someone told me my comic seemed like it was written by AI.
And my humanity was denied one step further in that my voice was not seen in the work I've poured years of my life into.
#this is a comment that has bothered me for... a long time.#it really sat with me.#its insulting of course...#but i get insults all the time#thats not what bothered me.#there was something more to it#something more to how this hurt my feelings and why it lingered so long in my mind#and i think its because of this.#it removes me. it removes my humanity.#in a world where i already feel so invisible and invalidated#where i express myself. my love. through my work#to be told it seems like something a literal robot coild make#a conglomeration of marketable ideas#god. jts so insulting on a completely other level.#its straight up dehumanizing#so. watch the things you say seem like ai#when its actually made by an artist#especially if you know that it was made bh someone#they have a heart an theyre trying to show it to you#i know its not that deep or whatever.#but isnt it?#isnt the point of our art to connect to others? to love them? to spend time with them??#im being dramatic#but i also care#and sometimes a little extra drama is what gets my ideas across.#i would know#im a writer
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I actually find it really bizarre and counter intuitive that clinically speaking, you cannot legally be diagnosed with a personality disorder until you're at least 18. The reason given for this is because "the personality has not fully developed before this age" like ???
Ah yes, my favorite strategy. Not diagnosing the problem until it's already been virtually cemented into your brain for life! Wouldn't it be easier (and more painless) to address the problem before it's fully developed?
#im also certain that the age that personality fully forms at is not a universally agreed upon number#like idk. maybe this raises less questions about age and more about the potential consequences of pathologizing personalities#it feels a little fucked up to me that some mental illness are 'just' mental illnesses while others are deemed a thing synonymous with you#and i can understand if some people with personality disorders do really heavily identify with their disorders#thats fine!#i also think the average person has a concept of personality which is relatively stagnant and thats just not realistic tbh#i mean if you think personality is stagnant then yours probably is so in rhat sense youre not wrong#but personality can absolutely change and i dont think it makes you a 'different person'#i think its a natural progression#anyways. got a little derailed but the point im trying to make is#lets find a way to give people with personality disorders a more realistic hope for recovery without invalidating them#and also lets maybe try to treat personality disorders preemptively so they don't get worse
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the IGN article has already been addressed by several users, but imo the points of critique raised by others were still often misinterpreted, or ignored entirely.
— so i’d like to talk about it.
beforehand, it is important to mention that it remains everyone’s respective responsibility to curate their own online experience. you shouldn’t purposefully expose yourself to topics that cause you distress or trigger you. however, general discussion should always be valid and welcomed. you have every right to voice your opinion on the matter and to be upset about this. please don’t feel guilty about venting and expressing your emotional response.
we also need to differentiate this specific interview from the fandom’s overall treatment and interpretation of gale. several of the posts i’ve seen on the subject tend to derail into the latter, without addressing the valid points many have raised or glossing over them entirely. this isn’t about the usual “haha gale eats shoes” joke or whatever new meme fandom comes up with. this is solely about the developer’s treatment of gale, the character, and about a specific, internal bias that has been prevalent throughout the entirety of the game, as well as their social media. this particular interview merely adding to the amalgamation of points mentioned.
yes, it is certainly unrealistic to expect larian to address every single companion in detail and to touch on every nuance possible, in an interview that broadly focuses on the game’s narrative and gameplay. there are, however, specific character sections. each companion received a headline that was reflective of their overall character archetype or provided quick insight into their development.
Karlach: 'The Labrador of the Party'
Lae'zel: 'She's So Young'
Halsin: 'A Creative Risk'
Shadowheart: 'The Jason Bourne'
Wyll: 'We Lost a Little Bit of Narrative Room'
Astarion: 'Much of What He Does Is Out of Fear'
Minthara: 'It's Not a Redemption Arc...But She's Got a Lot of Love'
and last but not least:
Gale: 'The Guy Who Starts Off Annoying Everyone'
what followed was a brief discussion about their respective storylines, each being addressed with a certain level of respect, empathy, and consideration. except for gale. all that was mentioned in regard to his character was the narrative impact of gale’s suicide. talking about the overall logistics of this ending, the visuals of the cutscene, and how, to them, his sacrifice felt like the right ending and how in many ways, it is.
Chrystal Ding, Lead Writer: On a very human level, you have the guy who starts off annoying everyone, he's constantly asking you to give him your most treasured possessions to eat, otherwise he's in trouble, and at the end, he gives himself for the world.
Sven Vincke, Founder: And he had the choice already once before where he wasn't ready for it. So it's a very powerful ending, and it comes in different permutations.
gale is the character who is initially annoying companions and players alike. he is verbose, enthusiastic and has a tendency to break out in long-winded rants. he repeatedly asks for your assistance, to help him manage his condition. to spare himself and his surroundings from an untimely, explosive death, he must consume items that you’ve carefully collected. gale is, essentially, a liability. a ticking time bomb. he already had the option to have his life be a meaningful sacrifice, but he wasn’t ready to die yet. now, that the party has reached the end, he has another chance to give himself up for the world.
short after, gale’s section of the interview quickly diverts into a more general discussion about the difficulties of playing as a wizard and other classes.
larian claiming that there is a universal “right ending” in a game with many branching paths and choices very much contradicts the definition of a role-playing game. where it is solely in the player’s hands to decide what direction to take and what outcome they deem to be the right one. moreover, it is important to remember that the interviewees weren’t just any developers, but consisted of two lead writers and larian’s founder himself. some of them industry veterans who are, to an extent, pr-trained. we all know that fandom often sees statements from developers synonymous with word of god. as such, the implications and impact are truly unfortunate.
if larian was referring the SA survivor and stated that “the right ending” for him was to return him to enslavement or to hand him over to the gur. that for all the death and misery he (involuntarily) assisted, his sacrifice would at least grand them a slither of justice.
astarion caused death, perpetuated racism, and now that you have handed him over to the gur hunter, he is offered a chance to give himself back to the world.
it is then deemed the right choice for him because it is the most narratively satisfying/impactful/powerful outcome in the context of the overall story. the majority of us would agree that such would be a rather tactless statement, no? not specifically for mentioning it in relation to astarion as a character or his influence on the narrative — he is fictional, after all, but because of the real-life implications and the very real stigma the affected face. we can't deny that it would be hurtful to irl victims. maybe we would even fault the writing altogether for such biases. after all, why should astarion be the only character whose redemption and healing are considered to be significantly less important in the grand scheme of things?
fiction functions as an abstraction and simulation of our social experience. we are supposed to get invested, to explore the meaning, examine the parallels, or maybe just to enjoy stories for the sole purpose of indulging in the occasional escapism. perhaps a way to temporarily forget about one’s limitations and the prejudices we face. in many ways, chronic pain/impairment, suicidal ideation, and autistic traits appear to be disorders & symptoms that are perhaps less relatable to some, and that they are maybe not as sympathetic to.
it truly would’ve been nice to see larian approach this interview with more professionalism. opting for a simple, diplomatic “actually, there is no right ending. the sheer variation in choices makes such a distinction impossible” would’ve more than sufficed.
this isn’t asking for larian to touch on every nuance possible, in an interview that largely resembled the flow of a regular conversation. it’s about asking for the same level of consideration and care that was granted to the rest of the companions. it’s about addressing gale’s particular brand of trauma with the same level of basic human decency. maybe we even could’ve received some new bits and pieces of insight on gale’s development, rather than the regurgitation of every shallow reddit/tiktok take we’ve seen up to this point. alas..
#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#baldurs gate 3#bg3#fandom discourse#at first i didn't even want to make a post about this but here we are#reducing the discussion to “blorbo trauma” feels like a very condescending/belittling approach#ultimately invalidating a lot of thoughtful points that were raised#this is tumblr. getting invested in fictional people and overanalysing every little scrap of content is what we do.#so to mention it once more: you have every right to be upset#it speaks#sa mention#suicide mention
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I think another thing I like about starscream, yet hate that the fandom fails to acknowledge about starscream is that, a lot of his rotten personality and his nastiness comes from way before he meets megatron and way before he was a deception.
That’s not to say that a lot of the ways he acts doesn't mirror megatron and the mistreatment he went through. and that impacts how starscream heals, makes friends, etc., idw - like what megatron did still badly affects him and that's not something to be ignored, and it's still not fair that he doesn't get the same happiness megatron did.
But, I think that people do tend to act as if Starscream was perfect and uncorrupt before Megatron.
That's not true...starscream was also a rotten, manipulative and bad person before that. and a lot of that was in response to how he was treated and hating his own body/existence, and the caste system, etc. We see how a lot of people in transformers react to oppression and I think starscream is such an interesting case of someone who is so angry and furious at the system he was created in that he takes it out on others yet still fights for himself and only himself. It is sad, and it’s awful to see how his own existence and the caste system does destroy him, but I think its important to note and to understand to just see how oppressed people still have to fight through their own oppression and sometimes, because of that, because of the trauma they go through, turn rotten. And Starscream did terrible, sneaky, and awful things. He did shitty things to climb to the top and he hurt those around him, he hurt people he trusted him, and he was happy to be that way. No one made him evil, manipulative, or untrustworthy, he did that on his own.
I don’t like that a lot of the fandom tends to tie Starsream’s negative and problematic behavior and personality to megatron because it also takes away from a lot of growth, agency and discussion about starscream’s personality and why he is the way he is.
He wasn’t a perfect, innocent and shy person before he met megatron, or before he became a deception. He still did awful things and while becoming a deception was a way he could grow past the system that created him, he still did very much do so for power. Starscream was an ambitious yet a morally ambiguous person before megatron and he had to be to survive in his own mind. His life wasn’t perfect and happy before megatron, he was still fighting and he was still scheming to survive.
I really don’t like how people kind of take that away from him, and act like everything he does and every shitty way he acts is *because* of megatron. I know it’s not fun to have to admit that he wasn’t a good person before megatron met him, but I think it’s necessary to understand his character, and not a lot of people do. And when you don’t do that, you have people misinterpreting his character and being genuinely shocked when he does villainous things. Like for instance, sky bound starscream’s actions shock a lot of people because they don’t think that he is a villain - I remember a lot of ES critique is that earthspark starscream doesn’t need a redemption act- he just needs people to love and accept him. And I think you guys forgot that he was also a space fascist and enjoyed killing people on his own accord. And while megatron himself does impact how starscream acts and treats others - starscream still was an extremely problematic person eons before he met megatron.
I don’t think this negates just how badly Megatron’s treatment fucked him up, and made it so that it was difficult for him to form relationships even after, or find happiness. And I think that’s just something that cannot be ignored. But I also think starscream is more interesting as a character if the fandom acknowledged that he was this way before, that he wasn’t perfect or innocent, and that he reacted that way because he was unhappy with is life, his station, his caste, etc.
this also isn't a chance to come and try to excuse how megatron treated him, so pls don't do that on here.
#i remember looking at an earthspark video and it's like 'starscream does bad things but none of it is his fault because of meg-'#and im like 'nooooo'#it's okay for people to acknolwedge that he was 'bad' to begin with#i don't know how we as a fandom got to the point where they convinced themselves he wasn't a villain#and when you tie EVERYTHING he does to his time with megs#then you invalidate him#he is more than than his relationship with megs (also not saying his name bcos i don't want it to end up in his tag)#like it makes me so upset when fans tie everything he does to him#and it's like they are afraid to admit that he is evil and highly problematic#and in many ways just like megs BEFORE he met him#because you guys again - think a victim can only be one way#it's insulting#starscream#transformers#also sorry for the slurry of unpopular starscream opinions#i just hate how i feel that his character is only allowed to be seen s *one* way
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It's really weird that you think it's funny to make jokes about abuse. I know it's a play on how you think people talk about Dean but have you ever considered that some people like me are reminded of our own experiences of abuse when watching Dean interact with Sam?
have you ever considered that you're not the only person in the world with experiences and therefore are not the arbiter of how other people feel
#replies#anonymous#what if i told you that sam's behavior often reminds me of my own abuser?#then what?#have i /earned/ the right to have feelings about any of it?#or does it only count if i believe exactly what you believe?#how are you guys still out here invalidating everyone else's experiences#simply because they don't match your own??#it's so fucking juvenile and egoncentric#wank for ts
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respectfully, why tf do y'all care if people "jump ship"? is your life really this sad that you can't stand the thought of other people not rooting as much for buddie anymore? like what is your business here exactly?
#oh you're so loyal to fanon#and you do such a great job invalidating canon#thank you for calling out people who enjoy what's actually on the screen#would you like a gold star?#grow tf up#this will for sure piss off certain buddie shippers#but it's just so annoying how territorial of a ship you are#just leave people be ffs#i promise you this is not the end of the world#you are free to ship whatever you want#but have some human decency and stop making people feel bad for not shipping what you want them to ship#bucktommy#evan buckley#tommy kinard#911 abc#hazel speaks
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i struggled finding the words to explain the crippling anxiety and worthlessness i felt surrounding personal attachments/relationships and this is everything i’ve never been able to put into words, but it makes me feel a whole lot less crazier
#so when people yell at me that my feelings are invalid and my points don’t apply and i should just advocate for myself instead of#being silent or easily upset imma just send them this#mental health#adhd things#rsd#rejection sensitive dysphoria
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I just wanna put it out there that this is a Netflix Live Action ATLA safe space.
Does this mean that I like or agree with every choice the live action made? Definitely not. But it does mean that overall I find the live action interesting to talk about, even when it comes to the stuff I took issue with. It means I'm interested in hearing and sharing critical opinions as well as praise, and I'm interested in interpretations that are different from mine. And I will always try to approach things inquisitively and to judge the show for what it is (which, let's be honest, is basically someone's canon divergent fanfiction put to screen).
But what I'm not interested in is being right, or tearing the show down. So if you're looking for a place to read or share opinions about the live action that skew positive, or that are critical without being angry, or that are relatively neutral with maybe a dab of scientific curiosity, I hope you can find that here.
#natla#netflix avatar the last airbender#live action avatar the last airbender#netflix atla#live action atla#i get why people are upset about the things they're upset about#and i'm not trying to invalidate anyone else's feelings about it#and it's perfectly fine and reasonable to want to vent about things#so this isn't about calling anyone else out for doing that#this is just about the kind of vibe you can expect to see from me here#and the kinda vibe im welcoming into this space#if you liked the LA you'll get no argument from me#even if you *didn't* you'll get no argument from me#this is a no argument zone#but let's chat about it over a cup of calming jasmine tea!#and maybe some cookies and stuff#cuz i think that'd be fun
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Part 2 here
#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#poll#I'm so so sorry I had to invalidate the first version of this because I forgot about rack#and he's just too big a sinner to leave off#I replaced oz with him due to option number limits so feel free to punish oz in the tags instead#hit him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper
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As a gay Mike truther, this is my favorite bi-Mike evidence
#byler#don't like piling on the discourse#but again#as much as i am a gay mike truther#bi mike is something very special to me#one way ->#'it doesn't have to be one-way.'#oh... so what you're saying is mike's probably been trying to convince himself he can't be gay bc he's attracted to women too...?#but mike..#did you know you can like both?#that it doesn't have to be one way...?#mike in the shot alone right in front of jonathan as he says this#then panning over to reveal will and el paralleling each other#it's whatever#technically me saying i'm a gay mike truther bc the evidence supports it could be seen as invalidating to bi-mike truthers and vise-versa#but healthy discourse needs to be encouraged#just because you don't like someone's interpretation/it goes against yours that doesn't make it inherently homophobic/biphobic#it means you're feeling challenged and that's okay!#bask in it and move on#and if ppl are harassing you#just know they probably have a humiliation kink and you're just feeding it by giving them attention#it's likely they don't care that they've hurt your feelings and nothing is going to change that#not worth the energy
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very sad still see the saria/silence divorce headcanon still going around
have you ever tried to consider that they never dated before lone trail because it would be unrealistic with the timeline and the events and also because it would be overshadowing the actual truth of why they couldn't get along
#i'll elaborate#firstly it's ok if you headcanon this i don't want to invalidate what people think#it's just that I think it's a fanon joke that have been going around for way too long#and I can't help but shed a small tear when I see people really headcanoning it#I personally think it's way more interesting if we consider that they never had something going on before Lone Trail#mostly because it's weird that they started dating in like some months when they barely knew or saw each other#but also because it adds nothing but just makes things even more harder for them#my personal headcanon is that Silence was maybe having feelings for Saria but like#you know these very premature feelings#like just “oh wow she's pretty and nice”#but nothing like really deep#but they never had anything going on before the diabolic crisis#and after lone trail after they made up and saw each other's true person#they start to actually get real feelings#I'm just complaining but I've been still seeing it around somehow and it's sad to me that this joke became a fact for many people#there's still a lot of fanfics about how they had been dating and now they're on bad terms#I think that going on the “they're exes” route is way too easy and actually hides the potential and interesting reason#of why Silence was mad at Saria#it's not because she hates Saria or blame her#it's because she's mad at herself for being so weak#really making them appear as exes just hides this really interesting truth and makes it all seem to be a sad love story#consider that they never had any of this and that this tension between them is because they blame themselves!!#their story is not a love story but above all a story about self love and acceptance#just my two cents enjoy my rambling i go back to bed now#(not putting this in the main tag I don't want to start a war I'm just rambling)
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#With all the aphobia that have come out with this whole Alastor thing#I just want someone to hug me and tell me that everything is going to be okay#He is just a fictional character. but I feel very invalidated every time they do whatever they want with his orientation#and they are so insensitive about it#maybe Rosie will hug me and tell me everythin is going to be alrigth#I'm sorry for sounding so depressed all of a sudden. but I had that inside me for a few days#Fortunately in a few months the love for Hazbin Hotel will calm down. and I could now scroll through tiktok without fear of finding them#hopefully in a few years aphobia will be less and HH fandom(or THOSE shippers at least) will be remembered as one of those very toxic fandom#aroace alastor#hazbin alastor#alastor the radio demon#alastor hazbin hotel#aromantic alastor#asexual alastor
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i think what holds me back from interacting more with whatever attempts at schizoid "communities" exist in different pockets of the internet is that, frankly, y'all are so so so whiny. so fucking whiny. everything is negative, everything is meaningless, look how much it sucks for me, look how pointless it all is, look at me being apathetic and finding no enjoyment in anything, i dont even try, misanthropy etc etc.
i get it, szpd sure sucks sometimes, you wish you weren't constructed like this. and i get that a large part of it is the fact that people in general tend to focus on and remember negative things, but good lord. did you know szpd is the only personality disorder that doesn't require clinical distress? you can live your own solitary life, doing your own thing, making your own habits, creating your own meaning, connecting in the ways you feel comfortable and isolating yourself to the extent you need, and be absolutely fine with it. happy even, dare i say vibing. getting there takes work from you, requires you to take a good hard look at yourself from time to time, but nothing in this disorder implies that healthy coping is some fucking pie in the sky or whatever. you can be fine.
it sounds harsh, but someone has to say it: presuming you're mature enough to do so, you need to accept the cards you've been given and make the most of it to the best of your ability. learn what your limits are, try to expand them if possible, bear the burden of your own personal growth. that is your responsibility. yours.
#szpd#schizoid personality disorder#actuallyschizoid#rant#this is mostly abt the subreddit but yeah its a trend here too for sure. its a trend everywhere ive seen#it feels weirdly invalidating for someone whos diagnosed to see it so much. and i have my struggles with szpd for sure but on the whole#i am literally just vibing. seperately yes and the comorbid depression is rough but when im vibing im vibing ykwim#i know this post contributes to the negative shit but whatever you get the point
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