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atlabeth · 9 months

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bad luck - nikolai lantsov

summary: you have little hope after being captured by slavers in the depths of ravka. but then your ship is commandeered, and you get a little more than you bargained for with your privateer savior.

a/n: sorry that it has been a while since ive posted anything on here and sorry about my neglect for my other series but i am a nikolai lover first a writer second and a person third!!! apparently i cannot write a normal length one shot with this man but i hope you enjoy

wc: 5.3k

warning(s): fem!reader, sturmhond!nikolai, reader is captured by slavers but there is no detail, mentions of fighting and killing, mentions of arranged marriages, reader is highkey annoyed by sturmhond lmao, but a fluffy (and lowkey steamy) ending

At first, you’d thought you were hallucinating.

You couldn’t remember the last time your captors had given you, given anyone in the brig, water, and the beginning of a spiral into insanity wouldn’t have exactly surprised you.

Explosions, gunshots, the screams of dying men. You’d imagined the entire crew dropping dead many times so it wasn’t a shock that this was where your madness would begin. You just closed your eyes, tried to pretend you weren’t in chains, and reveled in the sound.

And then the door to the brig was broken down, and your eyes shot open. You moved to the front of your cell, gripping the cold bars as you looked to see what sort of new danger had been brought upon you.

Instead, you were met with a cocky-looking man—though he hardly appeared old enough to be called a man—a pistol in his relaxed grip and another hanging by his side. His bright teal frock coat didn’t belong in a dingy place such as this.

“Hello, all,” he said pleasantly. “I am happy to say this ship has been commandeered.”

Your grip slackened. “What?”

Your question was drowned out by immediate rioting by all the other prisoners, and the man glanced at the woman by his side. She took one of her two axes from its place at her hip and walked over to your cell. Her golden eyes gleamed, and her axe moved in a barely visible flash. She’d chopped the lock clean off, and the cell door creaked open. The whole brig had fallen silent.

You took another step back, eyes still wide. The man walked up next to her, peering inside your cell at all the prisoners bunched in together, but when his eyes met yours, they widened. His entire body went rigid for a moment, so imperceptible that you thought you’d imagined it when he looked away.

“I have no desire to keep you all here against your will,” he said. “Call me your liberator, call me your savior, call me a captain who just hates slavers—it doesn’t matter to me right now. The only thing that matters to me right now is that this is my ship.”

“Are we free?” you asked.

Again, the captain’s expression changed ever so slightly when he looked at you—this time, you knew you hadn’t imagined it.

“Yes,” he said, the corner of his mouth turning up in a slight smile. “You’re free.”

You couldn’t help but smile yourself, and the chains around your wrists felt lighter knowing they would be off soon.

The captain cleared his throat as he turned away, looking at the rest of the prisoners. “Now, do any of you know where they keep the keys on this ship? If we can’t find them, Tamar here will use those handy axes on your shackles.”

Someone spoke up and the captain sent one of his men off to retrieve them, then he looked at the golden-eyed woman. Shu, no doubt. “Tamar, get the rest of these cells open then bring them above deck. I’d like to make a speech.”

She nodded and got to work. Soon enough, you were breathing in salty air and reveling in the wind on your face. You’d been below deck for far too long, and the feeling of sunlight on your skin was glorious. You allowed yourself a moment to close your eyes and just enjoy it. Your mind blocked out the spilled blood and dead bodies of the crew that you had to walk through. You wouldn’t shed any tears for them, but you weren’t accustomed to the brutality that your parents sheltered you from.

“I’d like to introduce myself to you all.” You opened your eyes and the captain was speaking, standing in front of the orderly line you’d all formed. The Shu woman from before—Tamar, he called her—stood at his left, and a similarly golden-eyed man had just joined them. Between his size and her axes, you were quite thankful they were—at least for now—on your side.

“You can call me Sturmhond,” he said. “Perhaps you’ve heard of me, perhaps you haven’t. I don’t particularly care. As you likely saw, each and every man and woman previously aboard this ship is dead, in case you doubted my promises to your freedom. That is what I care about.”

The thought would have normally made bile rise in your throat. You may not have been accustomed, but you liked to believe you weren’t wholly naive.

“But I want to be clear,” the captain said, “this is not a rescue. This is an opportunity.”

Sturmhond gestured with his head and a woman stepped forward, lithe with wispy hair divided into two braids. She moved her hands apart and concentrated, and with a few concise movements, the cuffs around your wrists broke apart and fell to the ground. Your eyes widened, and the exacerbated clatter made you glance down the line, same as some of the others—she removed everyone’s shackles at once.

Sturmhond kept company with Grisha. You knew the captain was Ravkan from his accent, but any connection to the Grand Palace and the King sent unease trickling down your spine. The chances were small, what with how much time Grisha spent in the Little Palace—Saints, the Fabrikator might not even be Ravkan—but there was still a chance. The last thing you needed was to be recognized.

“We didn’t really need the keys,” Sturmhond said with a boyish smile. Again, you were struck by how out of place he looked—he should have been in university, not heading operations like this. “I just wanted to make you all squirm a little. Tamar’s axes are quite terrifying.”

“Who says we want any part of your opportunities?” asked a man from down the line.

“Because I’m allowing you the choice,” the captain said. “Those of you who wish to be free of the sea and her constraints, we are by the Zemeni border. You will be dropped at the nearest harbor, and your fate will be back in your control.”

There were grumblings throughout your fellow prisoners and you glanced at them. It was a better offer than any of you would have gotten, a chance for freedom that you thought was long past you. Novyi Zem had no grief with Ravka, so you would be safe enough there. You could get a job working the fields or in a factory, and once you had enough you could book passage back to Ravka. You could find your family again.

Your throat tightened. You ran from them—that was why you were here in the first place. Maybe it would be better to try and start a new life all together, nameless in Novyi Zem. No one would ask questions, you were sure of it. You would be in control of your fate again.

And then the captain got a glint in his eye. Your spine straightened almost on instinct.

“As for those of you who want revenge,” he tilted his head, “you can earn a place in my crew.”

“Why would we work for you?” a woman from across the brig shouted. “We’ve got our freedom!”

“Because there is little more satisfying than causing the destruction of those who tried to destroy you,” Sturmhond said. “And because the sea is rather lovely when you’re not a captive.”

“That is my opportunity to you all.” He clasped his hands together, the wind ruffling his red hair. “A chance to help those like you, and put slavers at the bottom of the ocean where they belong.”

“Why would we want to work with pirates?” you spoke up. “We have lives to get back to. And half of us aren’t fighters.”

You didn’t know what it was about you that made Sturmhond’s expression shift just so each time he looked at you, but it was beginning to irk you.

“Privateer, actually,” he corrected. His voice was annoyingly smooth, and his unyielding confidence even more irritating. “As I said, it’s your choice. And it will take us three days to reach Novyi Zem, so you will have time to decide.”

You huffed a laugh, but decided to stay silent. You’d dealt with too many men like him, but it wasn’t a bother—in three days, you would be back in the same position you were in before your bad luck struck.

“Now,” the captain said with an equally smooth smile, folding his hands behind his back, “any questions?”

Nobody spoke up. Whether it was out of fear or simple ambivalence you didn’t know, but you didn’t feel like getting on the captain’s bad side. You planned to keep your head down for three days and figure it all out in Novyi Zem.

“Wonderful. We’ll divide our forces between this ship and the Volkvolny,” he said. “Any of you who wish to transfer ships will be allowed.” His lip curled as he looked around the dingy conditions of the slaver ship. “I doubt you want to spend much more time on board this wreck.”

“Some of my crew will get you situated as we prepare to set sail,” Sturmhond continued. “If you find you have any burning questions later, save them or direct them to Tolya here.” He gestured to the Shu man as tall as a tree standing by him, and he only looked slightly irritated to be given up like that.

“I suppose the only thing left to do is officially welcome you aboard.” Sturmhond swept an arm through the air. “I hope you’ve all earned your sea legs.”

He walked off, Tolya and Tamar following him. They must’ve been his first mates—you were immensely glad they weren’t against you, what with his size and her axes.

But as he did, you couldn’t help but stare. The strangest feeling had come over you during his speech, one that was exacerbated every time he passed the slightest glance at you, every time his expression changed. He was just… unnatural. Unsettling.

You allowed yourself a deep breath and shook your head, trying to focus on the crewmember that was speaking to you all. You didn’t care if he was unnatural or unsettling—you would be gone in three days.

All you had to do was keep your head down.

Sleep wasn’t easy after the day you’d had, but your tired limbs won out after an hour or so of staring at the ceiling. The cot you’d been assigned wasn’t much for comfort, but it might as well have been the plushest mattress you’d ever felt after what you’d been sleeping on before.

You slowly opened your eyes, your grogginess fighting against you at every step, because you had the dimmest feeling that something was wrong. When you saw golden eyes above you, you nearly screamed.

You thankfully held it in, but you could feel your heart hammering in your chest.

“What are you doing here?” you whispered.

“Sturmhond wishes to speak to you,” Tamar said, wholly unfazed as if she did this all the time. She probably did.

“Why?”

“My job isn’t to ask questions,” Tamar said. She left it at that, and you sighed as you pulled yourself out of the hammock. You followed her, squinting in an attempt not to bump into anything in the darkness. The Volkvolny wasn’t familiar to you yet, but it was easier once you were above deck. You rubbed the grogginess out of your eyes when she opened the door to the captain’s quarters for you.

She didn’t follow you in, and you didn’t know whether it was a relief or not.

“Ah. You’re here.” Sturmhond turned around from a cabinet, holding a bottle of kvas, a slight smile on his lips. “Drink?”

“You didn’t just invite me here for a nightcap,” you said placidly, “did you?”

“Of course not,” he said. “I thought it would remind you of home.”

You frowned. “You’re Ravkan. Who’s to say I am too?”

“How did you know I was Ravkan?”

“Your accent.”

“Then how do you think I knew you were Ravkan?”

“Maybe I will need a drink,” you said bitterly. “It’s the only way I think I can keep dealing with you.”

Sturmhond sighed as he poured a fair amount into two cups. “Such harsh words for a noble girl. Quite a stroke of bad luck for the daughter of a duke to end up on a slaver’s ship.”

“Who’s to say I’m the daughter of a duke?” you asked.

He arched an eyebrow. “Do you really want to keep playing this game?”

You crossed your arms in response, and he shook his head with a chuckle.

“An accent gives quite a bit away,” Sturmhond said. “It’s also obvious to anyone that looks at you—and I assume you have quite a few admirers. You speak Ravkan like a princess, like you were taught in schools rather than the streets. You have a gleam in your eye that says you still have hope. And,” he looked you up and down, “you carry yourself with confidence despite your position. Not the attitude of a girl on the other side of the ditch.”

Your lip curled. “How astute of you.”

“Thank you,” he said with a smile.

“Born and raised in Os Alta,” you acquiesced. You offered a thin smile of your own back. “And I suppose you’re correct. Bad luck seems to follow me as of late.”

“You wound me,” he said, pressing a hand to his chest. “Are you claiming that my rescuing you is a continuation of your bad luck?”

“I thought you said this wasn’t a rescue, captain.”

“Sturmhond,” he said.

Your lips twitched in a momentary smile. “I thought you said this wasn’t a rescue, Sturmhond.”

“It isn’t,” he agreed, taking a sip of kvas, “it’s an opportunity. I’m just curious of what drove your choice.”

You crossed your arms. “Strange of a pirate to be so curious about a prisoner.”

“Privateer,” Sturmhond corrected, “and you’re no longer a prisoner.”

“My point still stands,” you said wryly.

“Is it wrong of me to be curious?” he asked.

“It’s pointless,” you said. “And if you’re done with your little interrogation, I’d like to get back to sleep.”

“I’m not here to be your enemy.” He sat up, taking another sip of his drink. “Surely you understand that.”

“I understand it perfectly well,” you said. “I just don’t see why you care.”

“Fine,” he amended, “I’ll let you be. Just one more question.” Sturmhond sat up in his chair, leaning forward as he looked you straight in the eye. His were the strangest shade of green. “Why did you run?”

You actually recoiled at his question, your reflex winning over any desire to hold back your emotions. “Excuse me?”

He didn’t waver. “I thought my question was quite clear.”

You picked up the cup he’d poured for you and threw it back. The kvas burned your throat—your tolerance never was all that—but it didn’t make much difference with the scowl already on your face.

“You don’t get to ask me questions, pirate.”

“Privateer,” you heard him correct, and it only made you slam the door harder on your way out.

Three days of keeping your head down should have been easy. Sturmhond, however, appeared to have a different agenda.

He ignored you for the entire next day, but that night, Tamar was waiting for you before you could even get to the barracks.

“Seriously?” you asked. “Did he not get my message clearly enough last night?”

She shrugged. “He just asked to see you again. I don’t know why.”

You sighed and made an offhanded gesture. “Fine. Let’s go.”

You opened the door yourself this time when she got you there, not even bothering to shut it as you stared at Sturmhond.

“What are you playing at?” you demanded.

“Good evening to you as well,” he said. “How did you sleep?”

“What are you playing at,” you repeated flatly.

“I’m not playing at anything,” he said. “Is it a crime to enjoy your company?”

Your jaw ticked, and your hands clenched into fists. “If you’re after what I—”

“I’m not after anything,” he assured with a frown, “and certainly not what you’re thinking.”

His interruption peeved you, but you found that you actually believed him. The tension eased from your shoulders ever so slightly.

“…Good,” you said after a moment. “But I still don’t understand the need for these meetings. I plan to be gone by tomorrow.”

“Because I know you,” he said. “You may not know me, but I consider myself generally knowledgeable of Ravka and its upper class.”

“What,” you said wryly, “do you want my advice on how best to rob them?”

“Of course not,” Sturmhond said. “I wouldn’t need your advice for that.”

You huffed a laugh. “So what do you want?”

“I’ve been at sea for quite some time,” he said, “and you’ve only just left Ravka. I’d very much appreciate it if you could share some of your insider knowledge on the Lantsovs.”

“You assume I have any.”

“I assume that the woman who used to be Nikolai Lantsov’s betrothed would have some,” Sturmhond replied smoothly.

Your heart stuttered for a beat at the mention of Nikolai. Any doubt Sturmhond might have had over his claim had to have dissolved with your expression.

He arched an eyebrow. “Well?”

You allowed yourself a deep breath before you finally took the seat across from him.

“Fine,” you said. “You’ve got me. I’m the daughter of a Ravkan duke and I used to be engaged to a Lantsov prince. Did you just want to prove your knowledge?”

“Not at all.” Sturmhond wisely poured an additional glass—brandy rather than kvas, thankfully. You needed something stronger if you were to deal with this. “I want your knowledge.”

“My being betrothed to Nikolai is why I don’t know as much as you think,” you said. You downed half the glass at once and your chest burned less than the memory. “Nikolai and I were to be wed when we were of age, yes, but he disappeared before I got the chance.”

“Disappeared?”

You nodded. “He was meant to come back after his service so we could prepare for the wedding. Instead,” your lips curled in a disdainful smile, “he up and left. The king broke off our engagement and I haven’t heard a word from Nikolai since.”

Sturmhond frowned. “My deepest apologies.”

You shrugged. “He made his choice. Apparently he’s in Ketterdam studying, but I very much doubt that. He was never good at sitting still. But wherever he is, I hope he’s still alive.” You huffed a laugh. “I cannot imagine Vasily taking the throne.”

“I’m sure he is still alive,” Sturmhond said. “And I’m sure he hasn’t forgotten you.”

“How kind of you,” you said dryly.

He was silent for a long moment before he spoke again. “You say you plan to be gone by tomorrow. Does your plan include returning to Ravka?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “But I ran from my family and my fate, and that’s why I ended up here. I don’t think I can go back just yet.”

“And what fate did you run from?” Sturmhond asked.

“A marriage I didn’t want,” you said plainly.

“As opposed to the marriage you did want.”

“Are we done here?” you asked. “Because I don’t think you need to know more of my personal life.”

Sturmhond smiled after a moment and nodded. “Yes. But I’d like to see you one more time tomorrow, before we officially part ways.”

“You’re not going to change my mind,” you said.

“And I don’t intend to. There’s just one last thing I wish to share with you.”

“And you can’t do that now?” you asked wryly.

“Patience is a virtue, darling.”

“Don’t call me that.”

He held up his hands. “Enjoy the rest of your night.”

“You’re very strange for a pirate,” you said.

“I’m quite normal for a privateer,” Sturmhond said.

You huffed a laugh and shook your head as you stood. “Enjoy the rest of your night, privateer.”

You felt his eyes on you as you left, and now more than ever you couldn’t shake that feeling. You looked at Tamar as you shut the door.

“How long have you been part of his crew?”

“A few years,” she said.

“Do you ever get used to him?”

Her lips quirked into a smile. “No.”

You sighed as the two of you started to walk. “What a surprise.”

You were at Sturmhond’s door the next afternoon, Tamar by your side. She hadn’t come to deliver you, but on your way there she told you she would be joining you. You certainly weren’t going to refuse her.

As usual, you didn’t bother to knock. As usual, Sturmhond was sitting at his desk. Tamar followed you in and shut the door, not as usual. Your brows knit together slightly.

“You actually came,” he said.

“Consider me intrigued,” you said. “I couldn’t just walk off and never know what you wanted to ‘share with me’.”

The corner of his mouth curled up into an achingly familiar smile. “You’re just as fiery as I remember.”

“We just met,” you said dryly.

“On the contrary.” Sturmhond sat up, and he removed his jacket. A metal pin glinted on his vest, a crowned double eagle. The Lantsov coat of arms. Your frown deepened. “You spent the other day describing our lost time together.”

“I’m…” you blinked and shook your head. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m Nikolai Lantsov,” he said. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make me say all my titles, though.”

For a moment, you just stared at him. And then you laughed in complete disbelief.

“Is that what this is? You consider me a fool?”

“On the contrary,” he repeated. “It is because of your intelligence that I deigned to reveal myself.” He offered a wry smile. “And because you don’t hate me the way you should.”

“You cannot just say something so absurd and expect to believe it,” you said. “Anyone can rummage up a coat of arms. I have not heard and or received a single word from Nikolai, and now I am supposed to believe that he is right in front of me?”

“It sounds absurd when you put it like that,” Sturmhond said with a frown.

“Because it is absurd,” you enunciated. “I actually thank you for this, because now I know I’m making the correct choice. You may be a good captain, but you are a complete blackguard.”

You turned and offered a tight smile to Tamar. “Please move. I’d like to leave.”

“He speaks the truth,” Tamar said. “I promise you. He’s Nikolai Lantsov. My brother tailored him into Sturmhond at the beginning of all this, when we joined his crew. ”

You paused and looked back at the pirate claiming to be the man you loved. “What?”

“Nikolai Lantsov is much more valuable as a hostage on the seas,” he said. “No one spares a second glance at Sturmhond.”

“Then change him back,” you said, looking back at Tamar. “Get your brother and make him change him back if you want even the slightest chance of me believing these lies.”

“They are not lies,” she insisted. “And I’m not the best tailor.”

“You’re both Grisha,” you said flatly.

“Heartrenders,” Sturmhond (Nikolai?) supplied. “My most trusted crew. Come on, Tamar— I believe in you. Work your magic.”

She rolled her eyes as she walked over to him, and though your immediate instinct was to take the exit you’d been given, you crossed your arms and waited as she did her work. It didn’t take long for his muddy green eyes to change to hazel, his red hair to blonde. A slightly less broken nose.

He… he looked like the Nikolai you knew. It was staggering to just be standing across from him—or at least a mirror image of him—after so long apart. Older, more weathered, but with the same glint in his eye. The same glint that you looked forward to with each day, the glint that you remembered when you didn’t have him anymore.

“That doesn’t mean much,” you finally said, glancing away. “If you can tailor him into Sturmhond, surely you can tailor him into a Lantsov.”

“You overestimate my tailoring abilities,” Tamar said dryly.

“I still don’t trust it,” you said, and you started again for the door.

“When we were seven, I convinced you to sneak out of our etiquette lessons and go down to the river,” he suddenly said. Your hand froze on the door. “You scraped yourself on a particularly sharp rock while we were traversing the waters—you still have the scar on your ankle.”

You turned around. “How do you know that?”

“My father held a party and your family attended,” he continued. “We were ten and it was the most boring night possible. We evaded our parents’ attention and snuck off to the kitchens.” He smiled. “I don’t think I’ve ever had so many pastries in my life.”

A smile of your own, almost subconscious, began to form on your lips. You hadn’t thought of that party in years.

“And when I was fifteen, the year before I enlisted, I did the worst thing I could have done to your father.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I took one of his prized swords and did all sorts of moves trying to impress you—I only managed to dent it and get banned from your home for months.”

“I can’t believe you remember that,” you murmured.

“And…” he sighed and opened his drawer, rummaging around for a moment. He held a ring between his fingers when he emerged, and your heart stopped beating for a second. “I still have this.”

Your hand was shaking when you reached beneath your collar and took hold of the string around your neck. You pulled it into view, and the ring hanging on the bottom glinted in the light.

Your engagement rings still matched perfectly.

Nikolai’s smile was bright as you remembered as the realization hit. “And you still have yours.”

“Of course I do,” you said. “It was a lot of work to keep it in my possession.”

“I’m glad you went through it, then.”

“It really is you,” you whispered, letting your makeshift necklace fall back against your skin. “I— I just don’t understand. Why are you here? Why are you playing pretend as a pirate?”

“Privateer,” he corrected. He glanced over at Tamar, still holding her post. “Could you give us a moment alone?”

She nodded and left, shutting the door behind her. The room felt smaller with just you and Nikolai in it, with the man you were meant to marry who left you in the past.

“I do this because I can do much more to help Ravka from the seas as Sturmhond than gallivanting around court as a second son—a bastard son at that. My parents appreciate Sturmhond much more than they would Prince Nikolai.”

“I appreciated Prince Nikolai,” you said. “I appreciated just Nikolai. You could have at least sent a letter.”

“I know,” Nikolai said. To his credit, he did look mournful. “If there is one thing I regret about all of this, it is how I left you. I said what I said the other day because it’s true—I have not forgotten you. I never did.”

“Then why go through all of this with me?” you asked. “Why annoy me into spending time with you?”

“Because I’ve always been quite good at annoying you,” Nikolai said wryly, then his expression sobered. “And because… I didn’t know how you would feel about me after all this time. Everything you said yesterday was true—I did leave you, and I haven’t said a word to you since. I wouldn’t be surprised if you hated me, and if you did, I didn’t want to force myself back into your life.” He managed another small smile. “Fortunately for me, you did not hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Nikolai,” you murmured. “I— I loved you. For a long time, and I think I still might.”

“Even more fortunate for me,” he said softly.

“So why didn’t you come back?” you asked.

“I…” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. Still cut in a military style. “You talked about how you despised your parents for forcing you into a marriage at such a young age. I didn’t want to force you into a life with me. If I had known you—” he chuckled, a boyish smile on his lips— “if I had known you loved me, I don’t know if Sturmhond would have ever come into fruition.”

“You are the reason I was here,” you said. “My parents thought they struck gold when the king agreed to a marriage between us. I thought I had struck gold as well, in you—a marriage my parents wanted couldn’t have been all bad if you were meant to be my husband. But you left that in the dust, and they still wanted a husband for me.”

“A marriage you didn’t want,” he echoed, his eyes soft.

You nodded. “They did all the work behind the scenes—I was going to meet him on our wedding day, some Kerch banker’s son. And I just… couldn’t face a life like that. So I ran. And with all the luck in the world—” you gestured lazily— “I ended up here.”

“Then I suppose it’s only fair that I ended up rescuing you,” Nikolai said.

“I thought this wasn’t a rescue,” you said wryly.

He chuckled and shook his head. “No. It’s still an opportunity— one I think you’ll like much more.”

You arched an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“I plan to go back and take the throne someday,” Nikolai said, moving around his desk to be closer to you. “But I don’t want to miss another moment with you, not now. So until then,” he took your hand, encasing it between his own, and the warmth it provided was something you’d sorely missed, “will you do me the honor of sailing by my side?”

“I’m not a sailor,” you said with a breathy laugh.

“I can teach you,” he said eagerly. “I can teach you everything I know until you’re a better privateer than me. And you can teach me everything I’ve missed while being at sea—all the noble things I ought to know for when I return home.”

Your lips quirked in a smile, hardly able to contain the giddiness bursting in your chest. Your life went from destruction at the hands of slavers to renewal with Nikolai Lantsov by your side once more.

“How can I refuse?”

Nikolai grinned, and he tugged on your intertwined hands to pull you into a kiss. It wasn’t the first one you’d shared, but it was surely the best. It felt like a promise of something new—the promise that he wouldn’t let you go like he did before.

You were breathless when you pulled away, and the sight of Nikolai, blonde hair slightly ruffled because of you, his lips slightly red because of you, made you kiss him even harder the second time.

Your back hit the side of his desk and Nikolai was practically on top of you, seven years of lost love pouring through him all at once.

“And if it wasn’t clear,” Nikolai murmured between kisses, “I never stopped loving you for one moment.”

You groaned and pulled him even closer, your hands clenched tight around the fabric of his jacket. “You wear too many clothes.”

“Then fix it.” His voice was sultry in your ear and you didn’t know how you went seven years without him.

You were very thankful that he asked Tamar to leave.

#nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov fic #nikolai lantsov fluff #nikolai lantsov angst #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone fic #grishaverse x reader #sadie writes

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thisis-an-original-name · 24 days

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totally respect people tearing Taylor down after that subpar album but I’d like to take this space to hype up other female artists who haven’t completely drained their creative wells. Welcome to C’s music recs (women only because disliking Taylor doesn’t make you a misogynist.)

1. Cowboy Carter. Oh my god. This woman never misses. Beyoncé is consistently fantastic no matter what she’s up to. My personal favorites are AMERIICAN REQUIEM, PROTECTOR, and 16 CARRIAGES. This album feels a bit like listening to the radio while also listening to someone’s life story and it’s goddamn insane.

2. I listened to Feminomenon for the first time yesterday and I was jamming so hard. Yes Chappell Roan I too will prioritize my own wants and needs over the attention of some mediocre man who does not deserve me thank you queen. Like seriously I can’t stand clubbing but now I want to go out clubbing just so that I can dance to this song with my friends.

3. One of three songs that I actually enjoy on TTPD is Florida!!! And it’s only because of Florence. Because holy shit, Florence. I’ve become unhealthfully obsessed with Dream Girl Evil, Ship to Wreck, Shake It Out, Big God and Hunger.

4. Olivia Rodrigo continues to kill it. If my future relationship isn’t like so american, I don’t want it. And I know it’s been a while but Can’t Catch Me Now is still on my Heavy Rotation Replay every single week.

5. This is preemptive but…. New Billie Eilish in a month?????? Hell yes????

6. Honorable and continuous credit to Penelope Scott and Lorde

#feminism #i love women #anti taylor swift #taylor swift #chapell roan #beyonce #florence and the machine #billie eilish #olivia rodrigo #Penelope Scott #lorde

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targaryenluvs · 3 days

Text

100K CELEBRATION!

hello my lovelies, we’ve recently reached 100k likes (which is insane in my eyes) and i wanted to throw a little party in here ❤️

1) my requests are open for all fandoms, (click here for fandoms) and you can request blurbs and imagines. you can also ask for specific appearances or names to cater to you.

2) shipping event! i love these myself so why not? you can add a fandom of your choice to be shipped with a character and a blurb about your personality and appearance. in return you’ll get a blurb of the two of you! (adding your real name is optional you can choose to give me a nickname or just y/n).

i don’t know as of now when i’ll close this, thanking all 3.6k (how did we get here wtf) of my lovely followers whether your new or an og, i appreciate you all ❤️

Prompts:

Angst/Hurt:

'You scared me back there.”

“You never really cared, did you?” “I always cared, you never noticed.”

“Do you think you’re invincible?”

"I came as soon as I heard." “You didn’t have to.”

“If you didn’t want to be with me then why the hell did you drag me along?”

“Do you love them?”

“I can’t even look at you.”

“You need to take care of yourself.” “Why do you care?”

“Don’t touch me!”

“Did you ever love me?”

Fluff:

“I would wait here forever.” “God you’re cheesy.”

“Y/n, I love you.” “Finally.”

“You’re cute as hell.” “I know.”

“I could keep you in my pocket all day.”

“Is that my shirt?” “Yes.” “Keep it, looks good on you”

"Wear a sweater, it's cold out."

“Have you eaten today?” “I’ll eat you.” “Woah.”

“Did you buy me flowers, why?” “Just take the damn flowers.” “Naw, have I made you sappy?”

“If I called you the apple of my eye, would you hit me?” “Yes.”

“Time for bed.” “No I have work…” “Doesn’t matter, come on.” “Noooo!”

Flirty/Smutty/Jealous:

“If he doesn’t stop staring I swear to god—,” “Un-ball your fists please.”

“Now how am I supposed to focus when you look like that?”

“Do you ever shut up?” “There’s ways to make a girl shut up yknow?”

“I’d rather die than kiss you.” “Sure thing Y/n.”

“God you’re divine.”

“This is too small. You’re too close.” “Well who’s bright idea was it to hide in a closet?”

“Is that blushing I see?” “No, shut up!”

“I’m sorry it’s a bit difficult to stand here whilst everyone is staring at my girl.”

“I want to put you in a chokehold.” “Whoa sweetheart, you kiss your mother—,” *Smothers his mouth*

“You’re lucky I have self restraint.”

Dark:

1 - “I gave you a chance, remember that.”

2 - “The longer you hide the worse it’ll be when I find you.”

3 - “Did you really think you could get rid of me?”

4 - “Someone dangerous could’ve hurt you.” “You are dangerous.”

5 - "If I was you sweetheart, I’d get to runnin’."

6 - “Just leave me alone.” “Don’t hurt my feelings, god knows what I’ll do.”

7 - “Can’t tell me you don’t want it when you’re acting like this Y/n/n.”

8 - "You don't want to be my good girl?"

9 - "Missed me have you?" “How’d you find me?”

10 - “And who’s going to believe you?”

Cannot wait for requests!

- Kira 🎀

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nightgoodomens · 4 months

Note

Shipping D/M is fine, cute even. It's disrespecting their partners that a lot of us draw the line at. Don't say that never happens either. I have seen it personally and have blocked more than one blog for it. Calling their relationships with their partners fake, or over, or nothing but baby trapping, or whatever else is beyond just cute fun shipping. It's actually hurtful and has led to things like Georgia being bullied off Twitter. That is taking things way too far.

Super long answer so I put it under read more, also if you’re not interested in these conversations then you can simply not click ‘read more’ and everybody wins.

You do realise that nobody is obliged to respect and love Georgia and Anna just because one is David’s wife and the other is Michael’s girlfriend?

There is this weird thing in this fandom that just because you’re Michael’s and/or David’s fan you must love and respect their partners and think their relationships are perfect. And that’s simply not true.

Georgia and Anna are separate people. I will judge them based on what they show and it would be healthy if others started to too, because while many are shocked that the ladies are not entitled to automatic respect and in extreme cases worship, I am surprised Georgia is called a Queen because she films David doing grocery shopping and Anna is called a Queen because she will post a picture of miserable as fuck Michael.

But you know what? It doesn’t bother me. They make people happy? This is what people think they deserve to be worshipped for? Cool. I might think it’s weird but I will let people be and I’d appreciate if they let me be for not thinking that the sun shines out of their asses. What I see from them make me not a fan of them but I hardly have any deeper feelings about the two of them, so I usually don’t talk about them.

People are allowed to theorise on celebs, their partners, and their relationships, based on what they see from public people who provide the material themselves. There are private couples out there who share nothing because they don’t want the public to theorise, but the people we talk about aren’t one of them.

There’s no terms and agreements that you are only allowed to squeak at what you see.

It goes both ways. If someone is allowed to comment positively, then someone else is allowed to comment negatively.

You are allowed to disagree with one and agree with another or form a completely different opinion.

The blogs that I read merely provide their thoughts on what they see. The shippers themselves discuss and sometimes even disagree with each other - politely. One thinks that. The other thinks something a bit different. Third one pops in with a completely different mindset. And that’s fine. They have a chat and that’s it. If it bothers anyone to see discussions about relationships then they can always block. But it looks like it only bothers when the discussions aren’t positive.

I block people being creepy about Crowley and Aziraphale and they’re fictional so I don’t blame anyone for blocking anyone else for whatever reason. It’s your space. Make it whatever you want it to be.

Now, Twitter is hell. It gave people the opportunity to talk with celebs. Some use it wisely. Some are slightly over the top, some are pure creeps, some are weird. If someone messages Georgia or Anna with their theory then they’re an idiot. That’s it.

I have never heard of Georgia being bullied off Twitter because of shippers so I can’t comment on that. The last time she was bullied off Twitter was because she searched her name on Twitter which she’s known for and then responded to a teenager who talked about her views (without tagging her) regarding the war. She decided to respond. People attacked. She decided to quit.

Now, I have two opinions on that - One, I think what happens on Twitter is insane. There is a reason why anybody with bigger following is refusing to post any opinions now because no matter what opinion they will give, it won’t satisfy everyone, and a mob of hate will follow. Two - barely a few months prior Georgia saw exactly what happened to Michael for sharing his opinion when he was actually asked for it, so I am not sure why she thought that fishing for trouble herself was a good idea. I guess she thought she’s above the treatment that Michael received which is interesting. Or she simply didn’t think. But considering she was posting photoshoots of herself moments later on Instagram fishing for compliments from fans… She survived the realisation that not all fans will always worship her.

Also - just a final point. It really isn’t evil or stupid to theorise and I’d urge people to have a bit of a read about PR relationships because it’s nothing new. Generally have a read about PR and you will understand why believing everything that you see on social media is simply foolish. Use common sense, trust your gut, question yourself and your views. There is a reason why celebrities have PR. There is a reason why there are contracts involved. If a bunch of people say something stinks here and they’re noticing patterns of PR/fake relationships/unhappy relationships etc… maybe have a read instead of having a meltdown about how dare they suggest this relationship isn’t an utmost perfection.

It’s good for your own development; learning behaviours and patterns to make it easier for yourself to spot people fooling you in personal relationships and in business relationships. Learn the signs of bullshit and toxicity, you will be surprised how much easier they can make your life and have you avoid shit. Be critical and use common sense. If something doesn’t click, there is a reason for it.

You see on social media how your friend bullshits people because they post a picture of the best boyfriend in the world while you know they are fighting three bloody times a day. You think celebs are truthful on social media?

Anyway this has gotten long - my point is: People are allowed to theorise but they’re stupid if they directly message the person about it.

#dingdong night went on for too long #oh well #hugs and kisses mwah mwah #NightGoodOmens answers #I had a tag for such posts so you can block them and I forgot fuuuuuck #Michael and David answers #was that it #I don’t knowwwww

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carmensapientia · 1 year

Text

The REAL way to manifest

I usually never make posts like this but I find it absolutely insane that so many people are 1) pandering to desperate people in of help 2) advertising methods that not only don’t make any sense and 3) constantly jump ship for the newest shiniest methods. Manifesting is not:

-working for years for one tiny desire

-getting your hopes up and not receiving

-limiting yourself to only small desires like texts and compliments

-being inconsistent in your methods and application etc

-following other people’s advice instead of carving your own path

-any bullshit terms like consciousness vibrations crystals etc

You guys overcomplicate the law way too much. You add in biblical terms long winded essays and scientific data to back up the one things you don’t have or can easily cultivate: discipline, persistence and the ability to stand on your own. If you’re the operant power, why do you need a void, a 10k challenge, a million states to occupy etc to manifest one tiny desire. You don’t need to read thousands of pages of Neville and Edward and whoever else when it comes down: think about what you want as if you have it and you will. That’s it. Stop listening to people who profit off of you having an endless cycle of realizations and long winded conversations than application of the law. Stop listening to people who will constantly have you hooked on the next best thing. Just do it. Make a decision to do it and affirm. Keep affirming until you get it.

On immaturity: stop bullying other people for your beliefs. If you’re the operant power why does it matter to you what other people do? Just be god. God isn’t moved by non believers. He moved the world.

On terminology: I don’t employ the whole it’s already done affirm to remind stuff etc that’s never what has worked with me. Forcing myself to believe it’s already here doesn’t sit right with me. Just ignore all this fancy terminology and apply the law in ways you want. You’re god. Cherry pick what you want.

On instant gratification: I live the idea of manifesting instantly. I live things being easy. I don’t love the over obsession with doing so in the law. I’m not saying a lot of people “rush” things but you focus too much on instantly etc to the point you’re not even focusing on affirming or keeping your mind in check. Just focusing on the 3D and trying your hardest with no avail. Relax. It’ll come and it’ll come quickly. Don’t force it or make it something it’s not.

How to manifest the OG way:

Affirmations = thoughts you repeat for desired results.

Self concept: how tou see the world and yourself in relation to it

Mental diet: flipping negative thoughts consistently to ensure your positive thoughts aren’t being subtracted

Affirming consistently (when bored when walking when thinking of your desire when you want to whenever you feel is best) until you manifests + self concept in check + mental diet = pushed out into the 3D. BOOM. Affirm. Persist. Flip. Empower. That’s manifestation. You’re welcome

xoxo

#law of abundance #law of assumption #void #states #manifestations

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 1 month

Note

just out of curiosity – why do you like sukugo??

i've just never seen any of the accounts i follow/my mutuals celebrate this pairing so i'm really curious!

:))))))))) i smiled so wide getting this ask anon. PLS DON’T BE ALARMED just take my hand and let me tell you abt two deeply violent homoerotic men….

okay so when it comes to sukugo i just. ADORE their dynamic and relationship. it’s one of my favorites in the entire manga and i truly think akutami COOKED with it . not only the shinjuku fight itself (which is, ofc, what sold me on the ship) but also the foreshadowing beforehand!!! like sukuna telling gojo that he’ll be the first one he kills…. the two of them making the same kind of pose in their respective volume covers (vol. 4 & 14….. another parallel which is even more devastating when you remember that the number four is associated with death in japan)….. both of them being referred to as ”the strongest.”

i actually didn’t pick up on a lot of it until we got to shinjuku!! but i just think akutami teased at their importance to each other so well and so early on.

WITH THAT BEING SAID . their dynamic. their parallels. yes. they’re both the strongest and the most isolated and those two things are synonymous. it ties into one of the most central themes of jjk that equates absolute strenght to absolute solitude — it’s a kind of curse. a curse and a blessing. and they both have it.

the main difference is that gojo knows what it’s like to be understood and loved — but sukuna doesn’t. so he can’t feel lonely. he’s never known what it’s like to not be alone. but gojo has!!! gojo has felt love and felt what it’s like to be understood, and when geto died a part of him died too. he’ll always be lonely. he’s the loneliest character in the series. and when he looks at sukuna he sees the exact same isolation that’s plagued him since the moment he was born. so what does he do about it?

he tries to teach sukuna about love.

^ and THAT’S . the most delicious dynamic ever. i take no criticism. i’ll die on the hill that this concept and their dynamic is one of the absolute highlights of jjk. it’s so GOOD. it’s so insanely good. gojo wants to teach sukuna about love/cure him from his solitude by killing him. and vice versa. it’s inherently violent and inherently tender and it makes me INSANE. to me that’s the greatest appeal of sukugo!!!! violence as tenderness is a trope very near and dear to my heart (and also VERY frequently associated w queer subtext in media…. just putting that out there……) and they do it so good. they have a blast killing each other.

also i just NEED to say how much i love the ”teach you about love” line. it’s one of my favorites in the manga and akutami utilizes it so well!! he repeats it over and over as foreshadowing and to build up the sukugo dynamic. the final reveal that gojo is ”the one who will teach [sukuna] about love” made me weep (even though it was so obvious)…. it’s just so deeply. idk. it just says so much about gojo as a character :(( the fact that he wanted to teach sukuna about love. i’ve seen some people who think that part is ooc but i disagree completely!! gojo has never concerned himself w the morals of others. not really. toji kills riko but gojo still has a respect for him and allows him to say his final words. he never hated geto despite his crimes. he supports yuji fully no matter how many people die because of him. etcetc. same with all his students.

gojo looks at sukuna and sees someone who is just as alone as he is. so deeply, deeply alone. him wanting to change that is not ooc in the slighest because that’s quite literally what drives gojo as a character:

he’s just such a genuinely good person at his core. and it coexists with the way he sometimes disregards morality. this is a hot take but i genuinely think gojo’s character blossomed fully in his battle with sukuna….. i don’t see him as ooc in it at all. he genuinely wanted to reach sukuna!! he knew he was the only one who could even hope to do so. and he tried his best.

and, i would argue that he succeeded.

SEGWAY TIMEEEEEEEEE LET’S GO. okay so let’s talk abt one of my favorite panels in the jjk manga, the panel that solidified sukugo as one of my favorite pairings Of All Time:

(two diff translations bc i love them both :3)

THIS. wow. wow. wow. i could talk abt this panel alone for hours and hours but i’ll try to be coherent……

there’s just? so much meaning to be found here??? for both of them????? not only is it a fundamental moment for gojo — being praised and acknowledged and accepted as himself rather than the strongest — but it’s also proof that gojo did reach sukuna!!! he’ll remember him forever. sukuna will never fully be entirely isolated because even millenia into the future he’ll still remember gojo. gojo nestled his way into sukuna’s heart.

and that’s just . so romantic isn’t it???? so beautiful???????? this is the culmination of gojo’s efforts; the most genuine expression we’ve ever seen on sukuna’s face. he actually looks happy.

i cried seeing that panel btw 😭😭 not a joke!! i was already crying when i started chapter 236 bc i knew how it’d end but this panel (+ the one w geto cheering gojo on in his cult leader fit) made me SOB. not exaggerating. i’ve never cried so much reading a manga… T_T

so!!!! yeah. i just love sukugo. their dynamic is so interesting and beautiful and i can never get enough of it. sometimes i love it more than stsg… don’t tell geto that though……..

#i also really love the idea of sukuna getting seduced by a lanky gay guy #but that’s besides the matter.#TYSM FOR ASKING ANONNN ILY #i love talking abt these silly guys #i miss them :((((#ask tag ✩#sukugo

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bohemian-nights · 5 months

Note

I’m not team black or green, and I’m also only watching this show for nettles - but I have to say that the only racist comments I see are coming from team black. They are so racist it’s insane.

1. They treat the velaryons like Rhaenyra & her (white) son’s cheer squad . They can’t fathom the velaryons being their own people with their own thoughts and opinions.

2. Their treatment of vaemond. They justify his murder for daring to speak up against their fav. They gaslight anyone who supports vaemond’s right to be angry that his house is being stolen by a white kid and claim that Luke “legally” isn’t a bastard and that we are misogynistic.

3. Their treatment of laena - they either claim that she was Rhaenyra’s lesbian (?) lover or that daemon never cared about her - they refuse to acknowledge that daemon was happily in love with her.

4. Their treatment of nettles.

I’m so done. I’ve just had a conversation with one of those insane stans, and they said that I’m “playing the victim” for pointing out their racism. I’m so sick and tired of hearing that I’m “playing the victim” or that I’m being “over dramatic” for wanting actual black representation and calling out performative activism.

Team Green has its moments(I don’t love how some of them treat Nettles), but Team Black is indeed objectively worse.

I have yet to see any other sub-fanbase go on rants about how there are too many Black people on the show so it’s fine to cut the only in-canon Black character(Nettles), that they are glad the n-word died(Laena), claim that a Black woman’s Afro-hair is dirty(the leaked photo on the beach), calling people monkeys(again Laena), comparing characters to animals(Laena and Nettles), the legally biracial fiasco, denying that there is racism in the books and that their fave is one of the perpetrators, saying that Daemon sleeping with Black women is a detrimental character trait…It’s a mess.

Honestly, most of the viscerally racist stuff that has been said had been geared toward Nettles or Laena(Vaemond’s a close third) because they are perceived as a threat.

Which shows you how f*cked up these people are. They are legitimately willing to resort to racism to attack fictional characters over a fictional ship.

And the kicker is, they don’t see anything wrong with their behavior because: I’m not racist. I have no problem with good Black people(aka the ones who kiss up to my fave), ignore me saying how a white woman (who I hate cause she's a Green 🥦, but she's still white) with less plot development is somehow more relevant than the girl who shows that you are more than the blood in your veins. That's not relevant. You wouldn't like her if she wasn't Black!

Let's not get into the fact that they only like Baela, Rhaena, Corlys, and Alyn because they haven't/don't do anything. The moment we see them have a personality and it’s not solely about worshipping Missy Anne they'll turn on them.

If the show ends Rhaena’s arc marrying a Hightower they'll call her a whore and a traitor. If Baela calls out Missy Anne for not being motherly towards her and her sister they'll call her ungrateful. When Corlys puts his blood first he’ll be treated just like Ser Vaemond. Alyn will be hated not for saving the psychotic white woman(who arrested his father and tried to arrest his brother) in her hour of need.

If what they said about Rhaena taking Nettles’ place actually happened, do you know how upset they'd actually be with Daemon even putting his actual child first before Miss Maegor? She'd become enemy #1. He is not allowed to love anyone more than her.

They also love to defend their deplorable behavior by saying the characters they are attacking are fictional so it doesn’t matter.

B*tch it’s no longer just fictional when you call someone(even if it’s a fictional character) the n-word.

When you are actively trying to take away what little representation we do have and hurling slurs and stereotypes used against Black people in real life for centuries to attack characters you don’t like, you’ve gone past fiction and gone straight into a Klan rally.

There is loads of evidence of their demented behavior. Anyone with a working brain knows they aren’t right in the head and what they are saying is wrong.

Hell, they themselves know what they are saying is f*cked up, which is why they try to gaslight you into believing they are the innocent victims and you've just lost your mind. When that doesn't work and you provide them with the receipts for their bullcrap it’s crickets cause they’ve gone crying in the corner 🦗

They keep crying and bemoaning about Miss Maegor being called a whore. That isn't exactly nice, but you can't flip things around and make yourself look like the injured party when you are a f*cking racist.

For Christ's sake, these people are just all-around hypocrites. Some of them have called Nettles a whore(the worst is yet to come with her) yet they spaz out when you say Miss Maegor and start yelling about misogyny.

They are the same ones who mocked Laena dying(and her son) yet they cry when you call a dragon baby a lizard.

You can't claim that it's all fiction and then start crying when your fave who is also fictional is “attacked.”

There is a good reason she's being “attacked” considering she's an awful character with next to zero redeeming qualities(which is probably why she's attracted the worst fanbase).

You can't claim misogyny and perpetrate it yourself. You can't claim to not be a racist and then overtalk Black women when they call you out on your behavior and then call them crazy for defending themselves. You can't force Black women to overlook your faves racism for the sisterhood and then spit in our faces when we don't. That's not how this works.

I could go on, but I'm going to stop here cause it's pointless. You just have to laugh and bow out cause talking to them is like talking to a brick wall.

#bnask #bnasks #anti hotd fandom #anti team black #nettles #laena velaryon #they deserve better than this fandom #you guys are the worst #hotd fandom misogynoir

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sergeantgoggles · 2 months

Note

(ok just one more. i really love them all) kiss prompt: 💗 slow kiss / gentle kiss / inevitable / soft dealer's choice <3

I chose the CSP-born quatrefoil, but in the actual Star Wars verse and not in an AU. Dealer's Choice: Hunter/Tech/Echo/Fives

Fives/Echo

Echo sighs, takes a sip of caffe, reads the Imperial reports again. Comm chatter is going insane over the stolen intel they took from Dantooine. Really, what business did they have all the way out there? Not that it matters now. They had found the resistance’s best kept secret.

Soft footfalls catch his ears, timid, nervous, and Echo frowns. He doesn’t blame them because he’s nervous, too. It’s been a long time, and in the interim Echo had moved on, had found himself a third in the relationship between Clone Force 99’s squad leader and pilot, and it’s been good, even if they’ve parted ways for now.

Finally, Fives comes into view, his own caffe in hand, quietly sits beside him, and sighs. His presence is nice, familiar, and it’s so easy to fall back into old routines, to lean his head on Fives’s shoulder and just listen to him breathe, but there’s a lot to discuss.

“We should talk,” he says, and feels Fives hum in agreement. “I’m seeing someone else, two someones, actually.”

Fives barks a laugh, startling them both, then clears his throat. “I’m…not surprised. There was someone, after you, before I had to drop off the grid. Can’t be mad at you for moving on when you thought I was dead when I did the same thing, you know?”

There’s a beat of silence, then, “Does that mean you can’t love me anymore?”

Echo picks his head up, looks Fives in the eyes, frowns. “I have to talk about it with them, but I’ll always love you, Fives. I never stopped.”

Their eyes meet, and Echo knows that they’re going to kiss, and it’s going to seal his fate. If he has to choose, he’ll choose Fives every time. As soon as their lips connect, Echo knows he’s damned. Fives tastes exactly how he remembers, feels as warm and invigorating as the sun on a tropical beach, and he makes a mental note to tell him all about the island with the giant crabs and the mission that Wrecker botched by waking the pod.

“I want to meet them,” Fives says softly, “if for no other reason than to thank them for taking care of you.”

Echo smiles into his lips and melts. An idea starts to form.

Hunter/Tech

“You’re awfully moody today,” Hunter comments with a frown as Tech works around him. He can’t quite figure out what Tech is working on, though, because the ship-wide diagnostic didn’t yield any results, and Tech hadn’t been adamant about the little maintenance things until a few days ago. Suddenly it was all he could focus on. It was…unnerving.

“Are you listening to me?” He ventures again.

Tech scoffs. “Unless you have intel about another mission, please refrain from speaking to me. I have a long list of repairs and upgrades that are not going to make themselves.”

Stormy eyes widen as Hunter frowns. “Hey, don’t make me pull rank with you. Tell me what’s wrong so I can help.”

“Well, if you insist, you can start by finding the spanner wrench that has once again grown legs and gone missing from my toolkit,” Tech says with a bite. “I will need it for—”

“I’m not talking about the ship, Tech,” Hunter sighs and takes Tech by the wrist, pulling him away from his work and forcing their bodies flush. “You’ve barely said a word to anyone in days.”

Hunter can pinpoint the change in Tech’s demeanor to right after their last conversation with Echo, after he told them that they found the operative they’d been looking for. That operative just happened to be Echo’s thought-to-be-dead partner, and there was the unspoken “we need to talk” that had been laced into their conversation.

Tech makes a frustrated noise that Hunter understands. Gently, he cups Tech’s cheek, draws him into a kiss, and slowly, intimately maps the lines of his lips, his jaw, his tongue, until he has Tech forgetting why he’s upset. It feels nice, though, knowing someone so well that their bodies can heal one another’s wounds, at least temporarily.

“We’re almost to Teth. Let’s hear him out. Whatever happens, nothing changes between us, understand?” Hunter breathes, lets Tech feel his words, taste them and hear them.

“Yes, that is fine,” he agrees, even if it is reluctant.

Hunter/Fives

Things do not go as expected. If Hunter had credits to bet, he would have bet against this ever happening, much less so fast, so quickly.

Thinking back on it, he wonders if any of them really put long-term thought into this, or if they were all just desperate to stay together and make it work. In the same vein, something pulls at his chest, and he doesn’t think he’d change anything. Last night had been…incredible. Tech had looked so good between two former ARC Troopers, mouthing and panting against Echo’s neck while Fives sweetly fucked him, whispering teasing little things to Fives as Hunter pressed into him and made him moan their names.

A pleasant thrill races up his spine as he’s drawn out of the memory by lips on his neck. He trills as Fives trails kisses along his naked shoulder, then tips Hunter’s head back to claim his lips. He’s a bold one, like Echo. It’s no wonder they were the best in their squad at the height of the war, but Fives’s kisses are different. Echo kisses with deliberate movements, always with the desire to elicit a reaction, but Fives seems to move because it feels good, willing to take his time. Hunter finds it easy to relax into Fives’s lips, and moans softly at how freeing it is to simply let go.

The sun crests over the horizon, and Hunter hums, almost chasing his lips as the spell starts to break. “What now?”

“Whatever you and Tech want,” Fives answers, “the sex was fun, and I’m happy to keep doing that, but I know there are feelings involved, and…”

Fives trails off, but Hunter knows. “I don’t know if we’ll have an answer right away.”

Another long, sweet kiss, and then Fives presses their foreheads together. “Take your time.”

Echo/Tech

Fives gives them space. Echo is grateful.

Night rolls in. The day has been kind, thankfully, and the awkwardness has been at minimal levels, but this isn’t Echo’s first time in dealing with Tech. There’s an abundance of new information for him to process, and he can tell that by the end of late meal, he’s overwhelmed.

Hunter moves to follow him out for some air, but Echo stops him with a gentle hand on his chest. “Let me.”

He finds Tech sitting not far from the entrance of the base, nose in his datapad, scanning for stars knows what, but that’s how Tech works, especially when there’s a lot to sift through.

“Mind if I join you?”

Tech lifts his head, and it’s obvious that he’s expecting Hunter, not him. Still, he doesn’t deny him, and nods as he makes room beside him, but doesn’t offer anything else. Silence hangs between them as the sun starts to set, but Echo is patient. He’ll wait all night if he has to because this is important to him. Tech is important to him.

Finally, Tech puts his datapad aside and frowns. “I do not know what you expect me to say. We came here to discuss how things should progress now that Fives has come back from the dead, so to speak, but we have not conducted any actual conversation about the issue.”

Echo sighs. He knows this is the hardest part, laying out exactly what he wants for Tech to examine and find all of the flaws in. He clenches his fist and looks up at him. “I don’t know how to have this conversation, because no matter what angle I look at it, I’m the one being selfish, but I want all of you in my life. I love Fives, Tech. I always have, and I always will. Even when…I still loved him.”

“But he is back now,” Tech says, and Echo can tell he’s trying to be positive, for his sake, because it’s good and happy and they should all be happy about this, “is there really much else to discuss?”

“Yes!”

Both are stunned at the outburst, but Echo recovers first by taking Tech’s hand in his and holding tightly. “…I love Fives, but I love Hunter, and I love you, too. I don’t want what we have to go away because Fives is back.”

“…But you left,” Tech counters, “and Hunter and I have been supportive of you wanting to remain in the fight, but it has put a strain on our relationship.”

Our, meaning between him and Hunter, our, being between them and Echo.

“…I thought that our arrangement was enough,” Echo admits quietly.

Tech falters, frowns, then kisses Echo slowly. It’s the way Tech’s breath stutters, the way there’s the smallest hint of desperation in the way their tongues slide together, then dies when realization settles. They part, and Tech takes his hand from Echo’s grasp and stands, hiding his face.

“It is not.”

Hunter/Echo

“We don’t know him enough to love him the way we love you.”

And that’s what Hunter had been alluding to that morning with Fives, what Tech had failed to communicate with Echo during their talk that left them freshly wounded and vulnerable. He stands with his arms crossed, eyes pleading for Echo to understand that this isn’t as easy as ‘we slept together so that solves everything.’

“But I know him!” Echo yells like that should be enough.

Hunter frowns, shaking his head. “How did you think this would go? Did you think that we would join you here? Were you going to give up the fight and come back with us to live away from the Empire?”

Those aren’t even a fraction of the questions that Hunter has for him, but he tries to be understanding because it’s Echo, because he loves him.

Echo doesn’t answer him because Hunter already knows the answer.

“You have a choice to make,” Hunter says softly, kindly.

“Stay, please,” Echo begs, just for a little while, just to get to know him. I promise you, he’s worth it.”

Hunter’s heart aches. “I know he is. You wouldn’t love him so fiercely if he wasn’t. I have no reason to believe he isn’t as amazing as you say he is.”

“Then stay—”

“This isn’t our fight, Echo,” Hunter says more firmly. “We have Omega to think about, and Wrecker and Crosshair. We’re tired of fighting. We just want to live our lives, find who we are outside of being a soldier.”

It’s a stalemate, neither of them willing to bend.

Until Echo stands, closes the gap between them, lays his head on Hunter’s shoulder the way he does with Fives, and laces their fingers together. “…We’ll visit regularly. I don’t want things to end between us, but if you’re willing to give him the chance to be a part of us, I’m willing to put in the work. We’ll keep you out of the fight as much as possible, and you can get to know him outside of a rebel base. Hunter, please…”

Fives/Tech

“Hey, wait up!”

Tech stops at the foot of the ramp, looks confused for a moment before he realizes that Fives is talking to him. He stops, catching his breath and panting as he seems to have run a long distance, then stands again with a grin that, admittedly, makes Tech’s heart skip a beat.

“Is there something wrong?” Tech inquires.

Fives waves his hand. “No, no! I heard from Echo just now that you agreed to the arrangement he proposed to Hunter.”

“I did,” Tech nods, unsure of where this is going. “It is the most logical solution to all of the problems that have risen since your return.”

A guilty flush settles on Fives’s cheek. “I’m sorry…for causing trouble for you all. I didn’t even know he was alive. When I ‘died’, he…”

Tech sighs. He knows all of this already. “No, I am sorry. You had no way of knowing, and it is not something I fault you for anyway. I…agreed…because my feelings for Echo are rather strong, and I know how much you mean to him.”

He pauses, then offers Fives a small smile. “And anyone that Echo loves is a welcome presence. It is true that Hunter and I do not know you personally, but we have heard much about you, and it is because of how Echo and the others have spoken about you that we want to know you and give this a chance.”

Fives’s flush turns to one of embarrassment, and he chuckles sheepishly. “He spoke that highly of me?"

"As often as he could," Tech comments, and his posture eases.

It’s his downfall.

Suddenly Fives is closer, fingers tipping his chin up just slightly, and lips covering his. It’s a focused kiss, careful not to be demanding or expectant, but enough that Tech knows that he means the emotions that are behind it, and he lets Fives kiss him thoroughly. It’s nice, letting someone new know your kiss in a healing way.

“Thank you,” Fives whispers as they part, “for taking care of him and giving me a chance.”

Tech hums, chases his lips for another, more chaste kiss and to feel the scratch of his goatee on his chin again. “I look forward to your first visit.”

Fives chuckles, keeps him close as he kisses him one more time. “Likewise.”

#cloneshipping #clone shipping #the bad batch #hunter/tech/echo/fives #heart prompts clone edition #clone/clone #clonecest #tbb tech #tbb hunter #tbb echo #tbb fives

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lexirosewrites · 19 days

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oh the fandom fear. so, i'm in the process of writing a very, uh, concerning steddie time loop fic (they go insane and kill each other multiple times, ultimate toxic relationship let's go) and the problem is i can only be brave enough to write more way late at night because the Fear of Modern Fandom and good old purity culture is overwritten by being too tired to care. this is probably bad for the quality of the fic. (anyway if anyone seeing this knows who i am from me having mentioned this on discord before um. no you don't. shhh)

Okay, please listen carefully to what I’m gonna say to you:

Modern fandoms suck. They have no tact, no kindness, and no manners. They will chew you up and spit you out no matter how squeaky clean you are or how good your fics are!!! They’ve lost all understanding of “ship and let ship.” Once you post something, it’s out there and open to criticism (as are you).

Now that that’s out of the way… write the thing. Write it the way you want to, attach your name loud and proud, and fuck everyone who doesn’t support your creative expression.

These people don’t know you. They don’t know your heart or your experiences and they don’t get to judge you or make you feel uncomfortable. They have all the power of anything else on your phone/computer. Meaning you can step away any time or just choose not to engage at all. It’s a wonder and should be a great comfort!

I wish you the best in your endeavors, friend.

#my asks #anon asks

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diamond-vic · 1 year

Text

Timeskip queerplatonic huntlow who don’t kiss each other on the mouths is literally canon and that’s why they didn’t kiss, everyone else just can’t see that and is in active denial

But seriously, i mean compare them to the way that Luz and Amity act, where their relationship is very clearly meant to be a ‘typical’ relationship (I use the quotes very heavily to mean a romantic relationship where those involved start as wrecks around each other, then go on to date and kiss and stuff).

With Hunter and Willow, before the timeskip neither of them ever fall apart around each other like Lumity did, yknow?? Sure Hunter gets flustered but he’s Hunter I think that’s just what he does. Their ‘confession’ is literally ‘I care about you alot’ and not ‘I love you’ and they don’t kiss they gently press their hands together and hold each other’s fingers gently!! The fact that even in timeskip they just. Are physically close to each other and that’s all. No kissing, they’re just comfy with each other. And that FEELS so different to me from the way the other romances in the show are presented (where even Eda and Raine have those moments where they’re flustered and fall apart around each other a bit). I WILL take that and say it’s queerplatonic but maybe I am too aroace and delusional and insane to form rational opinions

Anyway QPR huntlow for the win. If you ship huntlow romantically I will laugh at your pain for not getting your confession and kiss scene (I joke, I like the way it’s so open ended. It doesn’t matter so much what the relationship is except that they’re safe and happy in it, and I personally like to see them as a QPR, to me it feels more cozy and heartfelt)

#the owl house spoilers #toh spoilers #owl house spoilers #the owl house #toh #the owl house series finale #the owl house finale #i hope I got all the big spoiler tags I don’t wanna spoil anyone even if none of this is really spoilers #tried to use a bunch of em just in case #if not sorry for spoiling you on the fact that they are qpps and this is real and canon and not made up at all #huntlow #queerplatonic #hunter toh #willow toh #toh hunter #toh willow

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annot8 · 23 days

Text

Top 20 RotE characters!

My final piece of ranking for this series!

There will be some spoilers in this!

20. Nettle

- If there’s one thing I love, it’s difficult women. Nettle is as harsh as her name suggests. I love young Nettle with her dream magic and how completely kind she is to Thick. And I love older Nettle, who doesn’t mind hurting Fitz’s feeling for Bee’s benefit. She is unforgiving and always strives to do what she thinks is best - even if she doesn’t always know what’s best.

19. Thymara

- Definitely my favourite Rain Wild character. She had my favourite POV in those books as well. I liked how her story paralleled Sintara’s, with her dragon features becoming more beautiful, getting her wings, and her determination to be her own woman. I didn’t love that she ended up with Tats and ended up having a kid with him, but again, it mirrored Sintara’s mating with Mercor.

18. Starling Birdsong

- are we seeing a theme? Starling is so great because she simply does not care if people like her personality. She’s beautiful, she’s talented, and she got her song. The way she destroyed Fitz in Golden Fool was a peak moment in this series. And something i love so much is that no matter how much Fitz complains about her or thinks she’s annoying, he can’t help but like her.

17. Chade Fallstar

- I hate him, I love him, he’s the worst, he’s the best. I’ve said this before - I have complicated feelings about Chade but regardless, they are strong feelings. Ngl, I misjudged his age and thought he was about 80 in the first book so when he made it to the last book?? Incredible. His death got me in a way that I really didn’t expect it to.

16. Dutiful Farseer

- My boy! He had some great development from the most fifteen year old boy ever, to a genuinely good king. I loved his dynamic with Fitz in Fool's Errand. It was really on sight with those two and it was entertaining the entire time.

15. Selden Vestrit

- I saw someone say once that Selden felt like a random npc who managed to get a nat20 on charisma. He's great in Ship of Destiny, and fantastic in the Rain Wild Chronicles. His bond with Chassim was unexpected but so so lovely.

14. Molly Chandler

- I understand why people don't like her. Her character gets in the way of Fitzloved. Soz guys, but I've seen too many female characters get hate because fans were rooting for a mlm ship. Don't get me wrong, its frustrating but Molly never inserts herself in Fitz's life. It the other way around. I think people don't like her less because of who she is and more because of what she represents. She's a simple life, and is the face of Fitz's delusion. But I love her. She's down to earth, she's rough around the edges, she's a simple gal who wants a simple life.

13. Etta

- Etta!!! From a Divvytown prostitute to Queen of the Pirate Isles??? Insane, incredible, showstopping. One thing that I absolutely love about her that I think is overlooked is that, despite how much Kennit was pushing for it and how much Wintrow was pining for her, it did not even cross her mind to get with this 15 year old boy. Kennit is all like 'teach the boys your… skills.' and she's like, ah yes, I will teach him how to use knives. Queen behaviour.

12. Paragon

- Everyone's favourite murderous boat! His dynamic with Amber is great, and his friendship with Brashen is really underrated! He goes from being a grumpy old man to a bratty little boy in seconds (hmmm maybe the similarities between he and Fitz go past the face). He's unpredictable and he will kill again!

11. Althea Vestrit

- I fell in love with her immediately. She's rude to Kyle and then spends the next two weeks sleeping on the floor so she can be closer to Vivacia. She had my heart from the get go. Her ending will always leave a bitter taste in my mouth but none of it is her fault. She starts off a little immature and really grows into a woman worthy of captaining her own ship.

10. Wintrow Haven

- Ship of Magic!Wintrow has my entire heart. He frustrates me to no end with how he treats Vivacia but his arc is insane. He's generally an honourable guy. He frees the slaves and aids in the overthrowing of his father. He becomes a competent sailor and always shows Etta kindness. And despite his corruption by Kennit, he retains his moral compass and grows to be a good guy. I choose to ignore him in Ship of Destiny (just like Robin Hobb oops-) because I don't know who that man is :)

9. Malta Vestrit

- Without a doubt the best Liveships character. She has some of the best development I've ever seen. She's really the Amy March of Bingtown. She's self-centred, annoying, and that girlllllll. I love her so much. She's so clever and achieves so much.

8. Verity Farseer

- MY KING! treated Fitz like a human being which, in this book, is a step up from how most people treat him - especially when he's a boy. He's always a friendly face, even when he's so bogged down by defending the entirety of the Six Duchies with no thanks. He loved very honestly and had great respect for people who deserved it. And in the end, he made the ultimate sacrifice for his people for his folk.

7. Bee Farseer

- She's just as much my daughter as she is Molly's, Fitz's, Nighteyes', and Beloved's. She won me over so quickly, and just when I thought I couldn't love her more, she started biting. I hope one day we see more of her!

6. LadyPatience

- You should have been mine???????? Such a fun, unapologetic character. She is so herself. I feel so seen by her constant, ever-changing hobbies and messy room. She and Lacey are the duo of the century.

5. Burrich

- When I read a book and I fancy a character, I tend to stay loyal to that character. I can love all of the characters, but I only love one. I took one look at Burrich and knew i'd found my man. His parenting skills were questionable at time, but he was doing what he thought was right. He gave up his life to raise Chivalry's son. He stepped up and took care of Molly with no expectations. He raised Nettle like she was his own. Just a solid, good man.

4. Nighteyes

- The best parent in this whole series. He's sarcastic, he's clever, and he's got such an entertaining dry sense of humour. He's a great influence on Fitz and he isn't afraid to call him out. The Wit is such a fantastic aspect of this series and the wit-bond that Fitz and Nighteyes share is so so beautiful.

3. Kettricken

My Queen. I haven't felt this strongly about a character in a long time. Always a beacon of honour in a story of political intrigue, secrets, and betrayal. They really lucked out with this arranged marriage. Not a single person in this story deserved her.

2. Beloved

- Fool, Amber, Lord Golden, Beloved. What a character. every facet of this character is so interesting and deep and beautiful. Amber was THE character in Liveships, the Fool was THE character in Farseer, Beloved with THE character in Tawny Man. THE CHARACTER OF ALL TIME.

Fitz

- You get it.

#rote spoilers #fitz and the fool spoilers #realm of the elderlings #rote

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pastself · 8 months

Text

Post-snap, on-ship Starker AU that won't leave my brain

The journey back to Earth will take decades, so Peter makes Tony use a stasis chamber. Tells him, “I can’t do this without you, and you need to live long enough to get us home.”

Peter wakes Tony every few years to fix whatever engineering issue needs resolving. And though Peter had promised he’d use a stasis chamber too – every time he wakes Tony, Peter is changed, aged. Even though he claims he slept.

The last time Peter wakes him, he has gone grey and they are still 40 years out.

“Kid,” Tony feels on the verge of tears. He runs his hands over Peter’s thinning hair, over the crows feet at his eyes.

“It’s okay Mr Stark,” Peter smiles, wobbly. “I just wanted to catch up with you.”

Even though Peter is older than him now, has spent an entire life without him, living an insane lonely life watching over Tony. Even though Peter’s bones ache, and Tony has to help him around the ship now. Despite all that, Peter’s still his to protect. Still “kid” in his mind.

So before Peter can put him back into stasis, Tony destroys the system. Because getting back doesn’t matter if it means Peter won’t make it. And if Tony had gotten back in that box, the next time he would’ve seen Peter would’ve been the last.

“No-no you’ve got to make it back, Mr Stark.”

“Not without you.”

“Please, I-”

“No, you listen to me baby. You’re it for me. This ship, this life – I choose this. I want to grow old with you, while I still have the chance. So let’s just be together, please. For as long as we have left.”

And so they float. A single dimming light among the stars. Drifting incrementally closer to the home planet they’ll never see again. But happy and together, for the rest of their lives.

#starker #my writing #thoughts too depressing for me to explore in 10k of fic #heavily inspired by Children of Time

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booksandabeer · 1 year

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Hey,

I love your blog and I love how much work you put in when someone ask you to recommend fics for them, you’re truly beyond AMAZING! Just getting that out of the way.

And now, can you please tell me your favourite underrated stucky fics. I know this might be too big of an ask because there are SO MANY out there, so just tell me a few if you don’t mind.

Thank you so much ❤️

Hello Stranger!

Thank you for the ask and your very kind words! ❤ It's so nice to hear that people like my rec posts because they really do take a surprisingly large amount of time to put together. Anyway, I'm not complaining & this is a lot of fun for me, so on to the recs!

I struggled a bit with how to define "underrated" and I think everybody has their own ideas of what exactly that means. Also, the Stucky ship has been around for more than a decade (even longer if you count the comics), so creative output and reader interest will fluctuate and ultimately decline over time. A Stucky fic posted after 2019--no matter how insanely good it is--will never do the numbers it would have done in the Golden Age of 2014-2018. So, for the purpose of this list, a fic written in 2016 with 15K hits or less does qualify as underrated, while a fic posted in 2021 with 10-15K would not.

Also, as always, this list is by no means an exhaustive one.

the wrote and the writ by declanlynchsrack | G, 10K

Author's summary: Bucky’s crying before he’s off the boat and he’s the least surprised out of anyone to realize it.

He’s always been a softie, a leaky faucet, and the war hasn’t changed that, so he doesn’t know why the sob that smacks him startles him bad enough that he grips the strap of his bag doubly hard, ready to swing it around like a battering ram, ready to find that cloying, invisible enemy. He’s not being ambushed, on his belly in the muck and camellias, cypress hanging low, moonlight casting an eerie smile upon Lake Como like it’s enjoying the hell out of muffled gunshots and the wet grunt of lifeblood spattering onto the undergrowth.

That’s done. He’s safe.

An AU in which Bucky--minus one arm--comes back from the war and Steve never got to go, and never became Captain America. A scrappy little story that is at once full of emotion and yet completely unsentimental. This story socked me on the jaw, tackled me to the ground, and then sat on me while twisting, twisting, twisting my arm behind my back. It also has one of my favorite descriptions of the SteveBucky dynamic I've ever read: "They’re all roughed up, the two of em, a pair of old marble statues weathered by time and harsh touches, but they know each other’s chinks and foibles and can side-step them with grace while still treating the other about as delicately as they’d handle a sack of potatoes." !!! If you prefer, you can also listen to it here: [Podfic] the wrote and the writ by quietnight

Hollywoodland by romanticalgirl | E, 69K

Author's summary: In 1930s Hollywood, the world is run on the studio system. Stars are told who to date, what to wear, what to say, and how to look pretty doing it. The only way you can really do what you want is if you don't get caught.

Steve's dating Peggy, which works out because she's married to Sam, even though it's not legal. But it's the perfect cover for the fact that Steve's gay. He's managing just fine skirting the system to find companionship, but then he meets James Barnes and life gets a lot more complicated.

If you know anything about me and my love for Golden Age Hollywood, then you won't be surprised that this pushes all of my buttons. This is loosely inspired by the real life relationship of Cary Grant and Randolph Scott (the exact nature of which we will probably never know, but let's just say it was most likely not strictly platonic). Is the world the author created here entirely realistic? No--and it's not intended to be. While it is indeed rooted in many of the horrible realities that queer people and POC have faced in the past (and are still facing today), it's a slightly kinder version of it that allows for a hopeful, if not a strictly happy ending in the traditional sense. A sumptious story with gorgeous art.

make progress together by frankoceansmoonriver | E, 24K

Author's summary: He feels like Steve’s mistress. He feels hollowed out. He feels like a jammed gun still trying to go off. When he’s not with Steve he convinces himself he’s ruining Steve’s life, and though he tries, he’s too selfish to stop. When he’s with Steve, he’d fight God himself to keep it, this tangible perfection that makes him drunk and anchors him in ways he did not know existed.

Or, the one where they both survived the war, Bucky loves Steve now, has loved Steve since he was fifteen, and the year is 1945.

This is a story that I have reread many, many times because it is the perfect wish fulfillment fic for me. It's the slightly unrealistic, or one could also say: optimistic version of what I imagine would have happened had Steve and Bucky both survived the war. That's not to say that this fic doesn't have its very angsty moments, but ultimately, this is a story about love and hope triumphing in the face of adversity, and sometimes you just want to see good things happen to good people. I know some readers may find the formatting and the non-linear structure challenging, but this is a beautiful story and I really urge you all to give it a try!

I'll Light Your Way Home series by BeaArthurPendragon | M-E, 69K, 5 parts

Author's summary: Two lost Vietnam vets find each other in a Hell's Kitchen gay bar one hot September night. This is how they find their way home.

A pattern emerges! Can you tell I'm really into (No Powers) AUs set in the early to mid 20th century? Well, here's another one, but we're actually moving into second half of the century, specifically to 1969, for this one! Bea is quite possibly my favorite Stucky writer and I have recommended her stories many times to anybody who will listen to me. It's debatable whether or not she actually counts as "underrated", I guess, but it is my personal opinion that her fics should have ten times the kudos/comments/hits they do and that she deserves to be up there with the "big names". This story in particular just completely won over my heart with its gorgeous (but not ostentatious) writing, its confident and mature characterizations, and great eye for historical detail. I *cannot* recommend her fics enough. /unabashed fangirl moment over.

The Northern Lights by ThisChairIsMyHomeNow | M, 21K

Author's summary: “I can’t feel my face,” Steve shivers.

“I can’t feel my left arm,” Bucky says, deadpan. Steve barks out a laugh. It’s all white puffs of vapor in the chilly air.

“This the spot?”

“Nah,” Bucky pants, breath ragged from the long ascent up a mountain. “Almost there.”

A post-CW canon-divergent story that the author jokingly describes in their author's note as "gay superhero reluctantly gets therapy in the jungles of Wakanda, then goes on a covert road trip." And yes, maybe I wouldn't put it quite so flippantly myself, but it's not... untrue. And yet there is so much more depth to it. If you like a Bucky who takes back his life, his identity, and his future on his own terms, a Steve who isn't reduced to being his recovery prop but instead gets to shine in all his glorious, intense, stubborn Steve-ness, and a Sam & a Natasha who aren't just window dressing for the SteveandBucky-Show, this is for you! Cap Quartet Road Trip where all four members get their moment to shine--what are you waiting for?

Misplaced Pencils | T, 13K & and our words would take us 'round the world | T, 13K by Somanywords

Author's summary:

Steve and drawing throughout the years. Also Bucky.

Bucky is two years old when he learns to talk.

I've spent a good 30 minutes debating with myself which one of these two I should include here, and then I just threw up my hands and said "why not both? Both is good!" So here they are, two beautifully written mid-length full-arc (childhood to sometime past TWS, where they diverge from canon) fics that I love both equally. These are standalone stories and are not set in the same universe, but they do read and feel like companion pieces to each other because both stories are told through the lense of Steve and Bucky's respective artistic sensibilities and how they use their art as a framework to make sense of the world. Misplaced Pencils gives you artist Steve who, from a very young age on, has always tried to understand the world by taking it apart into its visual components & falling back on a fixed set of questions that help him to categorize and compartmentalize the people he encounters and the emotions he feels for them (just like he will later do in other areas of his life). Only that there is of course one person who's always refused to fit neatly into just one of his categories. and our worlds... on the other hand, gives you storyteller Bucky who's constantly talking, singing, writing. Who, in the end, can't help himself but narrate even his own fall and who is later delightfully affronted by his own narrative arc in a "if I had been the one in charge, I would've written it better!" way. Both of these stories are very dear to my heart and they deserve a million more hits.

+ Bonus!

Fics that definitely could/should be on this list but that I've recced before:

You are here by dharmashark

A Hard Rain's a-Gonna Fall by DisraeliGears

Prisoner One by ancientreader

As Time Goes By by Trouble_With_The_Snap

new topography series by brideofquiet

What I'm Looking For series by TessaBennet

Welcome Home, Son series by BeaArthurPendragon

I'm slowly working my way through my rec asks, so please be patient with me! Next up: Road Trip fics!

#stucky #stucky fic rec #stevebucky #stevebucky fic rec #steve x bucky #steve x bucky fic rec #stucky rec list #stucky fic recs #stucky fanfic recs #stucky fic #rec list #asks #my recs

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