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dirtytransmasc · 5 months

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how I think Theon would rank his siblings

Rickon - they're besties. he doesn't know how they became besties or why rickon likes him so much, but they're bff's and nothing will break that bond. is lovingly mean and teases him a lot like the good big brother he is. (there was like a 6 mi the streak where rickon would *not* sleep in his own bed and would only sleep in theon's, again, why this is, he has no clue. he didn't mind after a while. they normally watched a movie until rickon fell asleep and then Theon went about doing shit on his Xbox/computer till he fell asleep)

Arya - sassy little shit. has kicked him in the ribs. also tried to fight one of his shitty ex friends for being a dick. he respects her.

Asha - doesn't see her often. tough love. kinda mean. she's blood though and he loves her and she loves him more than she ever lets on.

Bran - kinda creepy and really stoic, but he likes to be run around in his wheel chair which is fun, and he's fun to watch movies with cause he's really quiet and won't talk like all of their siblings tend to do.

Sansa - air head, brat, mean, likes dumb girl things. (he loves her so dearly and has and would continue to maim anyone who even thinks of touching her. they just have that classic brother/sister dynamic where they "hate each other's guts" for simply existing)

Grey wind - his Bf's dog. best cuddler.

Shaggy dog - second best cuddler. likes to go on hikes on the beach with him (and rickon who runs the whole way through and then needs to be carried back to the car)

Ghost - 10x better than his owner. the goodest boy.

Lady - very polite. the goodest girl. only ranked this low because he 'hates' Sansa.

Summer - chewed one of his shoes once as a puppy. he never forgave that. does let her cuddle up with him when they're watching movies with Bran.

Nymeria - mean to him, except when she wants belly rubs.

dead brother #1

dead brother #2

All of rickon's friends

All of Bran's weird friends

Jon Snow - he's the worst of the worst. the devil himself. he could go die. (he's the closest thing Theon has to an actual friend his age and they claim to hate are constantly doing things together "for convenience" or because they "couldn't find anyone else to go with" or "Robb forced them to get along". they hate smoke and play Xbox together. they've had a shared Minecraft world since they were 8. they've fought to the blood on multiple occasions)

not featured on this list:

Robb - his boyfriend, he's not getting ranked with their siblings that's weird. if he were though he'd take second place, rickon comes first)

Edit: I made this while so sick, tired, and tripped up on cough meds that I have theon 3 dead brothers and it took me a while to realize... oops.

#(as always. don't take me seriously. he is my son and I am woobifying him. this is straying into “he would not say that” territory)#I'm just here for a good time #he's just so silly #Theon and Rickon being besties is my agenda #Jon and Theon being frenemies is my other agenda #throbb #theon greyjoy #jon snow #robb stark #rickon stark #sansa stark #arya stark #bran stark #modern au obviously #everythings fine and we're not miserable au obviously #asoiaf

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stayinhellevator · 3 months

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If Seventeen had a fan account:-

1. Seungcheol:-

Would be a Jeonghan fan account gradually turning into his own.

(But would never admit that)

Posts simp edits and pictures of hannie

Compiles thirsty comments about himself and makes a post on it.

(bc he's like that)

Up to date with all the tea all the time.

Wouldn't hesitate to jump in fan wars.

Prepare to get slandered if you say/post/comment/interact/breathe against sebongs.

Prepare to actually d1e if you tried anything against hannie or Wonwoo.

Has an insane following.

Flirts a lot with his followers. Teaser™

2. Jeonghan:-

Menace™

With his pattern, you'd never know anything about him or the purpose of his account.

Posts so many memes, jokes and sarcasm that you'd never know if he's kidding or genuinely a hater.

You'd also never be able to guess his bias. One moment he's posting a simp edit about Hyungwon, another moment he's threatening fans to not bully Mingyu anymore.

Also likes to post ship edits of himself with his members.

"You wish that was you huh?" is a mandatory post with edits of himself getting princess treatment.

Has a tendency of randomly beefing with a teenager

Has a love hate relationship with his followers.

3. Joshua:-

Bold of you to assume he invests time on his phone when he can't even text for his life.

His account is like a random Street that becomes your favourite hangout spot.

The pretty boy you are sure you know that he is and desparately hope for so and pray that he's yours. All without having even seen his face.

Likes to post audio covers of his favourite songs.

And that alone gains him a lot of followers bc his voice resembles a lot to that of Joshua of Seventeen 👀

Fans are convinced a pretty boy owns this account.

He randomly shares DIY hacks and ideas

One day he shares a beaded bracelet that he made and fans get suspicious.

Conveniently lies that he searched about Joshua and picked up that hobby since he liked diy anyway.

Anyway, he has a friendly relationship with his followers but also teases them a lot.

4. Jun:-

The most random and weird fan account of the century

Cats cats and a lot of cats

Cat memes, cat aesthetics, cat language, cat clothes, cat tips JUST CAT

He breathes, speaks, posts, edits in cats only.

Throws in a bit of dirty jokes, food and Minghao.

A simp for his Chinese friends

Sometimes, seriously shares recipes with his followers. Might also share weird food combinations that taste good (read to him)

Honestly speaking, you're never truly prepared for what his next post could be.

Is it going to be a conspiracy theory of cats being an ancient God or a serious Minghao presidency campaign. Who knows?

5. Soonyoung:-

The biggest Shinee enthusiast that there ever is.

Up to date with all shinee news, schedules, choreography, songs, lyrics even their clothes.

Promotes and posts various dancers and choreographers on his account

Might randomly put a cheat sheet on various dance forms, trends, tips and tricks to easily learn them.

Constantly posts about Seventeen too.

Any news about Seventeen, he'd be the first to post about, only second to Seventeen themselves of course😏

Engages with his followers regularly. He's that random internet stranger that's now best friends with a lot of people.

Thirst traps(pictures and comments) of DK and Woozi

Can't edit for life.

Also not very good with SNS.

His internet friends have to guide him through a lot of the features

The only thing that gives him away? His love for tigers of course

Can't help it.

Tiger prints, aesthetic and tigers themselves

At first, his followers were confused if he's being sarcastic or he is a furry

His followers thinks he might be a Hoshi biased. He doesn't deny

Horanghae is his catchphrase. Also a seal that confirms he's a Hoshi biased.

6. Wonwoo:-

Gamer™

Coolest, grungy dark bad boy vibes

His page is a cyberpunk aesthetic

On trends with the latest games, lores of his favourite games, his own theories of unfinished games or parts.

Posts gameplays as well.

Teaser™

Likes to subtly drop hand pics👀

Flirts a lot through comments

Wanna be editor

Thinks he makes collages and his fan girls eat it up {I'm the fangirl😔}

Beefs with children, teens and adults alike. Bc he takes his games very seriously

Book recs if you like

Cat-lover™

Dino-simp™

His followers think he also biases Mingyu but who knows?

All in all the book boyfriend vibes which is why he's so popular amongst his followers.

7. Jihoon:-

Anime fan account

Anime Recs

Might even host a watch party

Song recs too

Sometimes drops an instrumental cover of his favourite songs or his original music

Either chronically online or disappears off the face of Earth. Nothing in between

His internet friends nicknamed him 'Coconut' bc of his cold but soft persona

Once got into a debate with a teen over diet soda being unhealthy and safe to say that teen deactivated their account

He and his followers look like an emo punk cult group.

8. Seokmin:-

Most aesthetic, delulu and the brightest account on the internet

Jokingly calls Joshua his husband, Mingyu his lover, Hoshi his boyfriend, Minghao his Soulmate and Wonwoo his twin flame

But is it a joke?🤨

Also jokingly flirts with fans bc "if you can't have idols then marry their fans"

But also is it a joke?🤨

Posts a lot of puppies and flowers and sunrise and nature in between too

Promotes covers of Seventeen songs

Makes a lot of friends through his account

Genuinely talks to them and hears them out

Known amongst his followers as a sunshine (if only they knew)

Posts a lot of aesthetic pictures that he clicks himself

Is also good at editing stuff.

All in all he loves his followers and they love him even more

9. Mingyu:-

Either simping or being simped on

Seriously, the way he has no filter as he shares his extreme😏love for Wonwoo, Seokmin, Jeonghan, Jungkook and Minghao

He also has no filter as he teases his followers

Flirt pro max

Swinging his legs and giggling while reading all the thirsty posts about himself

If his fans are delulu then Mingyu is delulu-er.

If he reads a Mingyu thigh appreciation post, you best believe the next time he goes live he's manspreading

And when the caratland is going bonkers, he casually posts in his fan account "Who's the imposter among us?"

The most professional editor and photographer out there

His followers are convinced he's a film major or something when they watch his recent Wonwoo edit that has 1M likes.

Has a decent following bc of his professional edits.

10. Minghao:-

Does he hate his followers?

No one knows

Known as the Anti Delulu Pill of caratland

And makes sure he lives up to the name

Never hesitates to bring fans back to reality when he sees their delusional comments and posts

Even if it means making a teen cry

Only follows Jun and Minghao fan accounts

Posts a lot of thoroughly and professionally edited stuff for Jun

A professional Jun simp if you will

But also blushes and giggles while reading not to innocent stuff about himself

Anti-delulus them while giggling

So why does he even have followers?

Even they don't know bro how will I?

They say it's bc of the quality of his edits. Who knows though 😏

11. Seungkwan:-

The best account out there hands down

There's no winning against him

Has everything you could possibly imagine

Series, songs, movies, gossip, fashion, trends, reviews, recs and edits; you name it, he has it.

Is updated with all the tea, be it celeb gossip, his followers love life or his internet friends confessions

Is entertaining and makes sure he entertains

The biggest Vernon enthusiast that there ever is. Come fight him

His day begins with a Vernon post and ends with a Vernon post. And it's now a part of his layout

Never hesitates to put down a hater

Also never hesitates to judge you and your mama and grand mama

Sometimes, you'd think he's a mean girl™ but he's a sweetheart fr

His internet friends love his no bullshit just straight up advice, his warm and comforting words and his fun aura

The highest amount of followers

As my king and his fan account rightfully deserves.

12. Hansol:-

Random. Weird. The most Gen-Z page

Honestly, what's going on?

He doesn't even know it's a fan account

He just dumps whatever's on his mind

Shitposter™

The most random and funniest memes

But he wasn't even trying to be funny though

Gives songs, movies, anime and games recs

And they're seriously the best type of shit out there

The most Gen-Z lingo you can possibly imagine. Fr fr

But he swears he's just lazy to type out the whole thing. Bfr

Posts the most random thoughts at the most random times

"What if Ronald McDonald is alive and not a statue and is watching us eat" posted at 3:47 a.m.

Is he being serious or is he being funny? Who knows? Who cares

You could only wish you were as cool as Vernon and his followers.

13. Chan:-

Dance lover™

Dino biased™

He's cool and his followers know he's cool

But he's like an old man from the 80s given the latest technology

Puts up simple posts

Reposts a lot of memes, edits and pictures of himself ofcourse

A lot of those "What it's like having 12 useless hyungs"

But doesn't even take a second to berate a hater

Reposts and lauds a lot of dancers and Seventeen covers

Half of his followers found him through his hilarious comments on posts and stayed for his humour

Has a tendency to abandon his SNS and come back with a random dance cover post and disappear again.

©stayinhellevator2024:- Please don't repost, translate or copy my work.

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noodledesk · 2 years

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update: FREE habit tracker template (with new progress bars!)🌱💗💞

i've received a few questions about how i track habits, which honestly changes often, but i thought i'd share how i do it right now.

other posts that may interest you: making a dashboard in notion (with template) | my notion tag | my other free notion templates

this is a pretty low-maintenance and simple way of tracking habits, while still using the wonderful database feature. i hope it helps you ✨😋

post text in alt text and also under the cut:

title: how i track my habits on notion (an illustrated guide + free template)

habit breakdown: every year i take some time to define exactly what my habits are first (i like to use icons for simplicity). this way, i know what i have to do to check off a habit on a day

how i use it: every day, my dashboard has a habits section that updates daily. when i practice the habit, i just check it off. this refreshes automatically so it’s convenient.

how i use it: at the end of each month, i can see how consistent i was with specific habits. i do this by looking at my monthly percentages and looking for patterns: did i burn out on a particular habit? why? and i think about how i should adjust these to my current reality every month, because life happens!

how i use it: then i jot down these numbers so i have a general idea of whether or not i’m being consistent with the intentions i set at the beginning of the month. i ask myself, why or why not? and then i make adjustments to my new interests and priorities.

benefits

benefits — an easy habit tracker helps you see what you’re doing each day so you have an idea of what you want to practice more, practice less, and gives you a better idea of how your habits are affecting your wellbeing, instead of just relying on vibes, which can make you hard on yourself.

encouragement — checking it off gives me a sense of accomplishment. i had a tendency of thinking i wasn’t ‘doing enough’ each month, but when i write things down, i have concrete proof that i did things that were important to me. you also get to look back on your month and be like, look at all these things i did for myself! and have a little celebration :)

how it works: calendar view: of course i’ve created a template for you to use (yay!), but it’s worth learning how i set up the template so you can adjust it to your needs. basically, each habit is a property, and each page corresponds to a day, which has all the habits on it like a checklist. every month i duplicate the page each day for a month (it sounds cumbersome, but actually only takes about a minute total). this allows me to review every month if i want to keep my habits the same, set habit intentions each month so i can reflect and consider, what habits should i continue? what should i stop? it keeps it flexible. also, if you’re going on vacation, need a break, or anything comes up, you can take days off and that way your statistics won’t be skewed by stretches of time where you aren’t planning to practice your habits.

tip: hold alt + drag your mouse to duplicate pages super quickly for this step

how it works: count page: all you have to do here is filter the date to the interval you’d like to see your habits summarized in. i keep mine as calculated per month, but you can set your interval for a week or year or something more specific.

how it works: daily view: i create a linked database and set the view to gallery, filter to “Today” and make sure that all the properties for habits are enabled so they appear in a little task list. then i just check them off each day. it updates automatically.

closing: and that’s it! for me, simple is best. i change how i track stuff all the time, but for now, this works just fine. i hope it can help you too.

#study #productivity #notion #notion template #habits #tips #advice #organization #time management #studyspo #graphic design #mine

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maypop-the-dragon · 3 months

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PSA: Free Software

Reading this may really save your time, privacy, and money! Reblog or share to spread awareness!

Folks often use software that’s expensive and sometimes even inferior because they don’t know there are alternatives. So to those unfamiliar: basically, free and open-source (FOSS) or "libre" software is free to use and anyone can access the original code to make their own version or work on fixing problems.

That does not mean anyone can randomly add a virus and give it to everyone—any respectable libre project has checks in place to make sure changes to the official version are good! Libre software is typically developed by communities who really care about the quality of the software as a goal in itself.

There are libre alternatives to many well-known programs that do everything an average user needs (find out more under the cut!) for free with no DRM, license keys, or subscriptions.

Using libre software when possible is an easy way to fight against and free yourself from corporate greed while actually being more convenient in many cases! If you need an app to do something, perhaps try searching online for things like:

foss [whatever it is]

libre [whatever it is]

open source [whatever it is]

Feel free to recommend more libre software in the tags, replies, comments, or whatever you freaks like to do!

Some Libre Software I Personally Enjoy…

LibreOffice

LibreOffice is an office suite, much like Microsoft Office. It includes equivalents for apps like Word, Excel, and Powerpoint, which can view and edit files created for those apps.

I can't say I've used it much myself yet. I do not personally like using office software except when I have to for school.

OpenShot

OpenShot Video Editor is, as the name suggests, a video editing program. It has industry-standard features like splicing, layering, transitions, and greenscreen.

I've only made one video with it so far, but I'm already very happy with it. I had already paid for a video editor (Cyberlink PowerDirector Pro), but I needed to reinstall it and I didn't remember how. Out of desperation, I searched up "FOSS video editor" and I'm so glad I did. There's no launcher, there's no promotion of other apps and asset packs—it's just a video editor with a normal installer.

GIMP

GNU Image Manipulation Program is an image editor, much like Photoshop. Originally created for Linux but also available for Windows and MacOS, it provides plenty of functionality for editing images. It is a bit unintuitive to learn at first, though.

I've used it to create and modify images for years, including logos, really bad traceover art, and Minecraft textures. It doesn't have certain advanced tech like AI paint-in, but it has served my purposes well and it might just work for yours!

(Be sure to go to Windows > Dockable Dialogs > Colors. I have no idea why that's not enabled by default.)

Audacity

Audacity is an audio editing program. It can record, load, splice, and layer audio files and apply effects to them.

Audacity is another program I've used for a long time. It is not designed to compose music, but it is great for podcasts, simple edits, and loading legacy MS Paint to hear cool noises.

7-Zip

7-Zip is a file manager and archive tool. It supports many archive types including ZIP, RAR, TAR, and its own format, 7Z. It can view and modify the contents of archives, encrypt and decrypt archives, and all that good stuff.

Personally, I use 7-Zip to look inside JAR files for Minecraft reasons. I must admit that its UI is ugly.

Firefox

Firefox is an internet browser, much like Google Chrome, Microsoft Edge, or Safari. While browsers are free, many of them include tracking or other anti-consumer practices. For example, Google plans to release an update to Chromium (the base that most browsers are built from these days) that makes ad blockers less effective by removing the APIs they currently rely on.

Aside from fighting monopolies, benefits include: support for animated themes (the one in the picture is Purple Night Theme), good ad blockers forever, an (albeit hidden) compact UI option (available on about:config), and a cute fox icon.

uBlock Origin

As far as I know, uBlock Origin is one of the best ad blockers there is.

I was on a sketchy website with my brother, and he was using Opera GX's ad blocker. Much of the time when he clicked on anything, it would take us to a random sponsored page. I suggested that he try uBlock Origin, and with uBlock Origin, that didn't happen anymore.

Linux

Linux is a kernel, but the term is often used to refer to operating systems (much like Windows or MacOS) built on it. There are many different Linux-based operating systems (or "distros") to choose from, but apps made for Linux usually work on most popular distros. You can also use many normally Windows-only apps on Linux through compatibility layers like WINE.

I don't have all four of these, so the images are from Wikipedia. I tried to show a variety of Linux distros made for different kinds of users.

If you want to replace your operating system, I recommend being very careful because you can end up breaking things. Many computer manufacturers don't care about supporting Linux, meaning that things may not work (Nvidia graphic cards notoriously have issues on Linux, for example).

Personally, I tried installing Pop!_OS on a laptop, and the sound output mysteriously doesn't work. I may try switching to Arch Linux, since it is extremely customizable and I might be able to experiment until I find a configuration where the audio works.

Many Linux distros offer "Live USB" functionality, which works as both a demo and an installer. You should thoroughly test your distro on a Live USB session before you actually install it to be absolutely sure that everything works. Even if it seems fine, you should probably look into dual-booting with your existing operating system, just in case you need it for some reason.

Happy computering!

#196 #psa #foss #open source #tech #software #apps #computer stuff #I really hope Tumblr doesn't block this for having links or something. Someone mentioned that being a possibility and now I'm worried.#please reblog #2024-01-26

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rgbstatic · 1 year

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i full heartedly believe that the ending for the dsmp wasn’t what like, a vast majority of people had planned.

tubbo stated he didn’t like amnesia endings and starting over and it felt like a cop out and i believe he said he had other plans. like two weeks before the finale he said he and tommy had tried to end it for months but a particular person wouldn’t get back to them.

tommy had just gone on a rant about how awful cdream was and how people who are apologists for him just don’t make sense and he said verbatim he was an abusive character and then like a week later we got that ending

not only was it incredibly rushed, but these people had said months before that plans they had for their endings would be good. tommy said ctommy deserved a good ending and that so did chat. wilbur said the same thing about his character.

they talked before about how bad it’d be for characters who went through the specific depictions of abuse and trauma to not get at least a decent ending.

and of course in real life not all things end well, but when you have a story about a kid being abused in nearly every way a person can be, end up coming to an ‘understanding’ with his abused and then dying alone with him, it’s not a good message for fans who, if you remotely even step foot onto the fandom space on twitter or tiktok, clearly can’t understand that that was wrong.

there is no excuse, not one, for someone to abuse or hurt or harm another person, and there shouldn’t be a moment of understanding. not to mention c!dream’s final reasoning being he just wanted it to be how ‘things used to be’ is complete and utter bullshit. if that was his goal since the beginning, he wouldn’t have hurt his friends like he did. he on numerous occasions straight up said they meant nothing to him or he very actively used them for personal gain and didn’t bat an eye. if he’d wanted things to go back, he could’ve relented and gone and lived with his friends who’d literally made their very own space all to themselves, he could’ve forgotten about everything else.

exile was not a step in that direction. nor was doomsday, or fuck november 16th.

cdream egged techno on in chat on november 16th to set off the withers.

he used an revive book to experiment and torture people to ‘understand death’. he assisted in doomsday purely for enjoyment and to break tommy and effectively kill l’manberg, only to tell tommy at the end of it all that he’s doing it because it’s ‘fun’ and their story has only ‘just begun’. or did we forget about in the prison when he wanted tommy to be his lab rat and be immortal with him, to be someone he could kill and revive over and over. ‘wanted things back to normal’ who spat in the face of anyone who every offered him forgiveness and a chance and actively betrayed them anyway.

bullshit. it was an ending tacked on where it seems the only people who genuinely enjoyed it were people who thought tommy was the bad guy in the story because he was annoying. it was also awfully convenient for the story to wrap up with the ending of understanding an abuser and giving cdream a sympathic reasoning for all of his truly heinous actions in the heat of a controversy that dream himself was in which featured accusations of him taking advantage of the power imbalance he has with fans and messaging underage people online genuinely the announcement for the small ending marathon came out days after that came to light.

and cwilbur, oh cwilbur. ccwilbur had gone on about the importance of the stories we tell and the themes he shared. he said he might not be able to promise a happy ending but he could at least a bittersweet one, or one that wasn’t bad.

but then we had the ‘apology’ streams where almost all of them had him apologize for things he genuinely wasn’t at fault for, such as the ‘betraying technoblade’ bs, don’t get me started on that one, or everything involving phil who was textbook definition neglectful of his son, which according to both their characters seemed to happen well into c!wilbur’s youth.

you had him apologize to eret for… what? being betrayed and being murdered and holding a grudge? and yeah they came to a half assed ‘we were both wrong’ conclusion. need i mention that the person who claimed to help with eret’s part of the script was very very much antil’manberg.

over and over wilbur apologized and got shit on

he had a few good moments with tommy but then he just fucking left. he found out about exile and had such intense feelings that he wanted to kill dream himself, but settled for a trick and apology to tommy and left him there on the beach with some lighthearted jokes. suddenly forgetting that if dream really cared about the discs he would’ve stopped when he had them before. utah, fucking utah, which is an ending i wouldn’t even mind if after the fact we weren’t told it’s an ‘allegory for death’ and that somehow any backstory his character had (knowing tommy long before the smp, growing up with and playing in snow and sword fighting ) is suddenly gone because he was an adult when he was suddenly transported to the smp. all of any sort of prior history we had before is gone. and he’s become a stranger.

and utah wouldn’t be a bad ending if it had something else with it, or if it didn’t mean that wilbur just gave up to forget everyone, or allegory for death died anyway, or whatever it’s supposed to mean now. it could’ve been made bittersweet, i could come up with so many ways that his character could’ve ended without any grand ending, how it could’ve ended in a whisper but still fit.

and GHOSTBUR. what so half of wilbur’s soul is stuck in a separate dimension to suffer for all eternity because the gods abandoned the world. well, save for one god who only rescued one maybe two people from limbo because they were friends with her husband. she couldn’t do that to half her son’s soul, or done that earlier in limbo no. only now, when it meant so much to her husband who doesn’t even really care about his son to begin with.

but i’m meant to sit here and accept that everything ended they way it did when months and months before they talked about these characters being beloved and getting endings they needed and that they deserved, giving chat and viewers the endings they deserved, only for it to very suddenly be rushed with an announcement for ‘season two’ and all the hype of that, which isn’t going to happen and we could tell wasn’t going to happen long before it was even properly announced, and everyone had to go go go wrap up. and i get it they need to move on from the dream smp, they’re doing other things right now that are frankly, really cool.

but i personally think that if that was the case, and they were tired and bored and couldn’t get people to get online at certain times, that they could’ve written out all they had planned, said they wouldn’t be able to complete it in full but here is what we wanted to do, and send it

with as much love for that server as they seemed to have.

it just. those endings were so rushed. and they joke about it. and they talk about how they wanted to do things differently. and they talk and it just.

i don’t know what i’m trying to say anymore i’m just so distraught and hearing that we can’t even have a sucky ending have ambiguity for it being good or bad, and now it’s just ‘oh yeah that escape this character made? it was an allegory for death’ its bs and it sucks it sucks.

i’ve watched these characters since the start. i never missed a strea i watched multiple perspectives. i’ve watched everything and i’ve not forgotten details that these creators seem to and it feels like they crumbled up their characters and shoved them in a drawer to forget about after spending so long writing up these grand and frankly beautiful stories. it’s a novel with an ending chapter that is only a page. it’s a novel with footnotes for an epilogue and it feels so bad.

i still love the story, i love the characters, and there were faults all along in the story but those were nothing but blemishes opposed to the absolute black out ending that meant nothing.

#dream smp #dsmp #fandom neg #fandom crit #rant #rgb talking #long post

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matchstickdolly · 3 months

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So long, farewell! 💜 I won't be posting from this account anymore. To close it out, here is a roundup of my Lucifer fan works, as I think that's how most came to find me here.

You will need an AO3 account to read most of my stories; it's relatively easy to sign up if you don't have one. Though I'm gone from here and elsewhere in the Lucifer fandom, I will continue to read comments and attempt to reply to them, so please consider sharing these fics and commenting your thoughts on AO3!

LONG READS (20,000+ words)

A Refraction of Light

314k words. My giant post-S3 canon divergence that spans Earth, Hell, and Heaven. If you didn't like Lucifer's Netflix era (the last three seasons) or wished there were more power couple vibes for Deckerstar, you might enjoy AROL. Though I finished it in 2020, after S4 had aired, I think it works quite well as a S4-S6 fix-it for those who'd like one.

In Sorrow Thou Shalt Bring Forth Children

210k words. The 50 female-focused "blip" years Lucifer's finale conveniently left out, also several post-S6 chapters. Heavy angst surrounding family and spiritual trauma but aims to be cathartic by acknowledging pain. All that said, more humor and Deckerstar than you'd probably expect, given the CW tags.

Reins Series: Try My Reins and My Heart & As Certain Dark Things Are to Be Loved

35k words when read together. Porn with feelings/plot. Fun, sweet kinkiness that should be read in order. Dominant!Lucifer because I struggle to see the Devil otherwise and because Chloe deserves a fucking break in the care of her sex god beau.

In a Similar Vein

21k words. Funny, sweet, and absurd S1 divergence wherein Chloe becomes (very wrongly) convinced that Lucifer is a vampire. Alas, it is missing the last chapter.

Chloe KNOWS

20k words. Funny, sweet, sexy S2 divergence in which Chloe accidentally gets a devil reveal when she stumbles upon an ageless Lucifer in vintage pornography. Oops.

MEDIUM READS (5,000 to 20,000 words)

If the Shoe Fits & In the Family Way

14k words when read together. Alternate post-5B/S6. Feel-good, funny, fluffy, even sexy. Godifer and Mrs. G being good partners, parents, and Improvers of the Universe. If you need a sweet, positive fix-it for the end of Lucifer, these fics might fit the bill.

Rebound to You

12k words. Feel-good, funny, sexy AU where Lucifer is still the Devil, but he and Chloe didn't meet as in canon. Instead, they meet a couple of years later, after Lucifer has naturally gotten a phone and Chloe has divorced Dan and is now resorting to dating apps to meet people. Features a fun gimmick of Tinder-like chat logs (used sparingly, I promise).

Something More & Pump It Up

11k words when read together. These two canon compliant fics won't seem like they go together at first, but I promise they do (thematically). Both are pre-canon and about the subtle ways in which Lucifer and Chloe are an amusingly great match. They just haven't met (yet) to know it! The first story is sweet and about Jed and Chloe's relationship; basically a character study of Chloe as told from Jed's POV. The second is a bit of a sex farce about Lucifer watching Hot Tub High School after settling in L.A., but it's also porn with plot or at least a character study.

Not to Mii

10k words. Lucifer sticks around at the end of S3's "The Last Heartbreak." One thing leads to another, and you get strip Mario Kart. I promise it works.

The Fine Line Between Desire and Fear

10k words. Feel-good and silly post-5A divergence featuring a haunted mansion on Halloween. Almost solely Deckerstar-focused but also imagines a future where Michael is trying to redeem himself and earn Ella's affection; the only problem is that he's afraid...of a lot, actually. The irony!

Sweet and Sour

10k words. A comical Michael/Ella fic based on the 5A trailer. Turned out to be rather in-character for many aspects of Michael, so it holds up, I think.

Now That's What I Call Big Devil Energy! Series: Big Devil Energy & Satan's Got a Heart On

9k words when read together. Funny, sweet chaos. Lucifer being a completely over-the-top Devil in love.

All You Can Play

9k words but really more like 3k if you want the finished part of the fic. (First chapter can stand alone; don’t read past it if you don’t like unfinished work.) Chaotic humor, sex farce. Canon compliant missing scene wherein I will tell you not to hate the player (me) but the game (S3). The reason Lucifer isn't there to protect Chloe at the end of 03x04? He's with Lexy, the judge's soon-to-be ex-wife. This is that story. Featuring Chuck E. Cheese.

Bound by Iniquity

8k words. Dark 5A canon divergence from Maze's POV. Her dirty dealmaking with Michael backfires, big time.

Get Thee Behind Me

7k words. Porn with plot/feelings. Lucifer and Chloe try anal sex for the first time. Feel-good comedy ensues.

Baptized by Desire

7k words. Dark but sweet S3 divergence. Lucifer comes to believe he really is a delusional human while he's in the psychiatric hospital in "God Johnson."

Hells to Betsy

6k words. Answering the question of how Chloe afforded a large three-bedroom townhouse in L.A., especially once Maze moved out. Come on! Detectives are paid well but not that well!

Darkest Before Dawn

5k words. Sweet, funny, sexy wing fic. No wing oil, but there's a barrel of crude oil and Dawn dishwashing liquid. This is not an ad.

SHORT READS (<5,000 words)

The Dotted Line

4k words. Porn without plot. Lucifer is attracted to Chloe in anything, even undies from Target.

Checked Baggage

4k words. Porn with light plot. What if Chloe took up Jana's offer for a threesome, partly out of spite? Bisexual chaos that is still ultimately very much about Deckerstar.

Winging It & Made in His Image

4k words when read together. Both are chaotic sex farces that wax on about the Devil's dick. They must be read in order.

Reefer Gladness Series: Flying High & Baked with Love

3k words when together. Sweet fluff. Established Deckerstar getting high together.

Lunch at the Y

3k words. Porn without plot. Roughly set in a better post-5A world where Lucifer eats Chloe out in a dressing room because of course he would. That's a love language.

Those Who Favor Fire

2k words. Porn without plot. Roughly set in a better post-S3 world where Deckerstar have gotten their HEA and have been together for some ten years or so.

My God's House Has Many Rooms

2k words. S6's "happy" closeout is creepily vague to me. This story explores a horrific what-if.

Raising Hell

1k words. Porn without plot. An ode to the blowjob.

Use My Words Against Me

1k words. All dialogue, pure chaos. Caught up in yet another scandal, closeted Republican Senator Olin Graham asks the Devil for a favor. You'll only appreciate this if you know enough about American politics and aren't a fascist piece of shit. Sorry not sorry.

Earthly Delights on Borrowed Time

666 words. Post-S4 reimagining where Lucifer and Chloe are making things work.

The Perfect Help Meets

666 words. Dark, canon compliant one-shot about Lucifer's angst/depression as he tries to make things work with Eve, all while he's in love with Chloe.

Other Stuff

A softness came from the starlight and filled me full to the bone — Lucifer meets the comic A Softer World. Inspired by an old post by @casimania that can be found here.

General Fanvids — Deckerstar being painful and/or lovely, plus some Trixie because I love her character.

S6 Critical Fanvids — Just me making sense of S6's plot, which I cannot read as anything other than incredibly dark and anti-choice.

Crack Fanvids — Pure comedy and chaos.

Lucifer Season 6 Time Travel Visualizations — Lucifer S6 uses time travel without clearly laying out how it works. I made two visualizations to help explain the possibilities: one for the loop existing in a single timeline and another for the loop causing or being a part of many/parallel worlds.

Lucifer S6 Wiki — After Lucifer Season 5B and S6, I started digging into the writers’ interviews to understand what the hell had gone wrong. You'll find their answers to a lot of common S6 questions here. They’re real, er, interesting Hollywood folk, to say the least.

#lucifer fanfiction #lucifer fanfic #lucifer on netflix #deckerstar fanfiction #deckerstar

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phanfictioncatalogue · 2 months

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Bubble Baths Masterlist

Breather (ao3) - Ash_Writes

Summary: Sometimes Phil gets oversensitive and panicky and sometimes that means he needs a day to block that all out with colouring books and Wonder Pets.

Bubble Bath Cuddles - jilliancares

Summary:After hardcore BDSM Dan and Phil share a bubblebath and cuddles.

Bubble Baths and Mixed Tapes (ao3) - artbyweb86

Summary: Dan has trouble relaxing. Phil has an idea. Will it work?

Bubble Beards and the Perfect Selfie (ao3) - cafephan

Summary: Whilst enjoying a bath together, Dan strives to take the perfect selfie, with only a few distractions from Phil.

Bubbles - howelling-lester

Summary: Cute, fluffy Phan sharing a bubble bath.

Bubbles in Clouded Minds (ao3) - thesassykels66

Summary: "I will draw you the sickest bubble bath and have you in bed at 6 pm" except it's from 2012 and soft

Cheeky Bath Time (ao3) - JenCollins

Summary: Phil is cold and Dan find a way to warm him up.

Date Night - scifiphan

Summary: it’s date night and dan surprises phil with some champagne and a bubble bath.

Don't Break Keys - Chastity Device (ao3) - rainbowchristy

Summary: Dan and Phil bought a chastity device to spice up their (already quite kinky) sex life. And, well, Phil’s clumsiness isn’t always convenient, is it?

Heat (ao3) - xDeathMelodiesx

Summary: A steamy night in their bath with love felt kisses, grinding and handjobs.

i could do with keeping you near (ao3) - glasseslouis

Summary: it's some time in the future. dan and phil are married. they have a quiet first night at home, together.

In Touch (ao3) - enbyinaband

Summary: After seeing Dan being comfortable with himself in Australia, he plans a date night to encourage Dan to continue doing things that mqke him happy. Also combining my personal wanting Dan to catch up with Rick and Morty, so if you aren't caught up there will be spoilers.

Introvert (ao3) - brerediddy

Summary: Dan needs to recharge after a long day and Phil is happy to help.

I will run you the sickest bubble bath and have you in bed at 6 p.m. (ao3) - Findus26

Summary: Dan is having a depressive episode and Phil does his best to cheer him up.

Featuring: breakfast, bubbles, and a very special book.

Lucky Rubber Ducky (ao3) - DryCereal

Summary: "having a romantic bath with this special guy"

…cos my boyfriend won't join me…

santa is coming tonight, and i want a car, and i want a life (ao3) - reject_mikeyy

Summary: its christmas, and dan and phil are domestic and fluffy as always. they dont want to go out, cosy bath cuddling ensues. basically just tooth rotting christmas fluff.

self-care and omelettes (ao3) - itsmyusualphannie (itsmyusualweeb)

Summary: dan takes a bubble bath. phil annoys him (but what's new?)

Stress And Bath Bombs - howellsaesthetic

Summary: Dan has been stressed, so Phil decides to take matters into his own hands.

Tell Me That You're Alright - partingoftheways

Summary: Dan notices everything about Phil, especially when he looks broken. He fixes him with bubble baths and cuddles, chinese food and kisses.

the stupid sushi bubble bath fic (ao3) - itsmyusualphannie (itsmyusualday)

Summary: dip and pip cuddle and eat sushi and take a bubble bath like the nerds they are.

bonus: phil forces dan to read to him.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #bubblebath #bubblebath masterlist #bath #bath masterlist #fluff

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mt10lt20 · 3 months

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Finally, an Ace Combat Fanfic (or two)

Finally got my AO3 account approved, so I posted my first (two? Do 2 Chapters count) fanfics, and its of Ace Combat Zero & 6 (Ciphixy & TaliSham) - Featuring... some plot with subtle horror AND smut. Also, I realized that I cannot write pure vanilla T_T

AO3 link here - F*ck like you fly

Additional notes that were not mentioned on AO3 as they were linked to HCs: under the cut.

The protags are technically male. But because I sometimes also draw them as females + because they are faceless, they are written to also have some feminine qualities in their appearance. Or, they may not be human at all, considering the way they fly; and their wingmen will do well not to forget that they are predators, no matter how alluring or nice they seem to be.

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AC6’s Shamrock/Talisman are my rare pair. Their story started out when I was thinking about how they’d ever get together, considering how much baggage Shamrock has. And I just happened to write it down, and by that time it was already a full-length fic. Might as well dump it on AO3.

-----------------------------------------

ACZ and AC6 go together for me. I find them like mirror images of each other and hence, easier to write or draw as a “set”. Besides a weakness for the Angel and Demon trope (I blame Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett for writing Good Omens), I think ACZ and AC6 were purposeful corporate “mirror projects”: ACZ and 6 were developed around the same time (release date 2006/2007 - the only 2 main platform games in the AC series developed so close to each other), and both teams prob practically, in a very corporate fashion, were given tasks to focus on building FACELESS protagonists that were opposite just to ensure no overlaps when the biz was running 2 similar projects. As a testimony to some of the development similarities, the Garuda team even had a 3rd wingman (but dropped), very similar to the Galm Team.

Note: This a hypothesis based on understanding & practical experience of messy, large corporate cultures. Unproven in the Namco (pre-merger) context, but I guess similar patterns prevail across industries?

So, I think the Demon of Ustio was conceived first and management just went like ok, corporate has a demon now, this faceless thing is gonna be a challenge if we’re running 2 concurrent games cos we just can’t make them LOOK different, let’s do an angel/ angels for the other one so there will absolutely be no way we can clash the characterizations. The Angel and Demon trope was just too convenient and I think that resulted in Cipher and Talisman being developed to achieve the same outcome (ace pilots who are a cut above the rest, instrumental to winning the wars they were in etc), while being the exact opposite of each other.

A feared mercenary bound to no rules | An admired leader in the air force. Lone contributor | Strategist. Fear inspiring | Awe inspiring. Faces off against a wingman who breaks orders | Stays together with a wingman who breaks orders. Both their wingmen are also highly effective but one turned out to want to kill them | the other will die for them.

At the end of the day, Ciph & Tali would both be annoyed at how similar they really are despite trying to be so different (affectionate) - hence the basis of their beef in the chaotic ACZ/6/7 AU that sometimes features here. But they do have a grudging respect for each other and might bond over their shared love for capable-idiot wingmen (again affectionate), and TROUNT lol.

And after all, both are still to be feared, bringing salvation and destruction in their own way. Cipher - all shall fear me and despair | Talisman - all shall love me and despair. Pun intended cos they fly Eagles, but not to Mordor.

-----------------------------------------

Would like to try writing Trount sometime, perhaps as a 3rd chapter. But due to their lighter hearted nature, they are a little more challenging to write with the subtle-horror undertone vs the ACZ and AC6 pairs. I will get there!

#ace combat #ace combat zero #ace combat 6 #fanfic #first time writing #and I do this #I am a degenerate lol #Ciphixy #TaliSham #Future Trount Maybe #Making the MOST of work commutes #these took so long frankly #Headcannon ramblings #shippy stuff #Supernatural and horror elements #I think their wingmen are done for lol

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mazegays · 11 months

Text

Fic Masterpost

compiling all of my fics in one convenient post! chronological order, green are ongoing works, yellow are nsfw.

i never thought they'd lock you in a cage

Thominho; Role Reversal, set mainly during TDC (movie). Minho is the Greenie, Thomas is the experienced Runner who is kidnapped by WICKED.

maze of stars and hearts

Thominho; Star Trek Crossover AU. The whole gang is here as their up-and-coming star captain falls in love with his science officer. And also the admirals are dicks.

the flow of the ocean: a current of change

Thominho; Mermaid AU. Sometimes, a dive into the ocean is the same thing as a dive into love; for Minho, that just happens to mean marrying into ocean royalty.

even birds need to learn how to fly

Thominho; In this world where the Mazes never existed but the Flare does, we get a look into the lives of survivors Minho and Thomas. Also features little!Thomas and caregiver!Minho.

temper the flame, but refuse to let it die

Thominho; Soulmates AU. Minho's grown up with drawings and messages all over his arms, but he's never written back, not even to tell his soulmate his name.

hot coffee, coming through!

Thominho; Modern AU. Thomas is a cute barista who has the terrible misfortune of getting burned (literally) in front of Minho, who was annoying Newt with his non-studious ways and sent for coffee.

suits and swords

Thominho, Nalby, Sonyarriet; Royalty AU. Set vaguely in our Tudor era, this is an A/B/O au that follows young princes - Minho and Thomas, and their many friends - of recently treatied countries over the course of their lives. Includes none of our historical figures. Does include two religions that I made up.

they burned your skin with bloodied ink

Thominho; An alternate take on what could have happened with the individual tests after Scorch Trials. Thomas doesn't come back--and when he does, it's for the worst. Whump and hurt/comfort abound.

if only we'd known

Thominho; Brendesa, Nalby; Magic AU. Thomas is terribly busy when his sister calls to perform a spell she knows nothing about. With Minho, of all people. It's a terrible idea.

He does it anyway.

the bones beneath your skin rattle and crack before they hatch

Thominho; Canon Divergence. WICKED went much, much farther with their experiments--as Thomas is quickly learning in a very painful way.

for you i can do anything but fly

Thominho; Modern AU. Thomas is stressed about work, money, and college; Minho just doesn't understand why Thomas is pulling away.

roses smell oh so sweet when one hasn't a nose

Thominho; Scorch Trials Canon Divergence. Brenda and Thomas are trapped in the tunnels, and maybe this would be a good moment for flirting... if Thomas weren't so obviously in love, that is. Brenda's POV.

i can't read your mind (but you'll share your thoughts anytime)

Thominho; Canon Divergence. Thomas and Minho have telepathy. In some ways, this makes things easier. In others, it makes them more difficult. They manage to fall in love anyway.

what's in the woods? (just thomas and minho)

Thominho; After a year in Paradise, Thomas and Minho take a vacation. It ends up being... less of a vacation than they wanted.

the woods (they want your fear)

Thominho; Modern AU. Minho and Thomas try to take a camping trip. It's all going well, until Thomas goes off on his own.

a shield you are not

Thominho, Sonyarriet; Scorch Trials Canon Divergence. Thomas makes some new friends in Group B. Minho and the others aren't so sure about them, but they can't stop Thomas from doing what he wants.

There is whump but this is mostly a fun fic.

these walls may break you but we will remake you

Thominho, Sonyarriet; Scorch Trials Canon Divergence. Thomas is kept alone, isolated for months on end with only his journals to keep him company. Will he be able to escape WICKED and heal from this experience?

the blues will heal if only you let them

Background Thominho; Very little dialogue. Thomas and Minho are stuck in the Maze--again. And Minho's not responding to anything, so it's up to Thomas to get them out.

rocky falls and rocky scars

Thominho; Set early in Paradise. Thomas hits his head on a rock while trying to play a joke on Minho. Hurt/comfort ensues.

haunted memories (memories, memories, memories)

Thominho, Thomas & Minho & Gally friendship; Set post-Death Cure, in a universe where the Flare never really existed and the survivors of the trials get to return to their families. Thomas, Minho, and Gally go to a haunted house... and in doing so, risk returning to some of their worst memories.

tears (that we don't remember)

Thominho; Thomas and Minho are taking a week off, and things are going well until a storm hits their camping spot in the woods. Whump, hurt/comfort.

scarred hearts (still beat)

Thominho; Minho thinking about his lightning scars in Paradise.

rocks, stones, walls, us

Thominho; Minho has to send his crush the Greenie into the Maze alone. This is a normal level of nervous to be about that, right? Right? Whump, hurt/comfort.

when screams (are the only escape)

Thominho; Minho thinks they're all used to them by now. The nightmares, the screams.

Thomas seems to be the only one unaffected. Hurt/comfort.

bees aren't the only ones with hives

Thominho, Sonyarriet; Minho's drink gets spiked at a party. An allergic reaction and brief terror follows. Whump, hurt/comfort.

bad days (can be almost good, sometimes)

Thominho; Their day off is the day Thomas's brain decides that hallucinations are the way to go. Whump, hurt/comfort.

anywhere, as long as I'm with you

Sonyarriet; Sonya and Harriet want to go... and see if the boys are around, totally, that's it. It's just their luck that Harriet gets hurt along the way.

milkshakes: the cure-all

Thominho; Gally's been bullying Thomas and he's been trying his best to make sure Minho doesn't find out. But now Gally is talking directly to Minho.

i don't breathe (without you)

Thominho; Thomas might be able to find happiness here, someday. Peace, maybe.

If only it was real.

MCD, Hurt/No Comfort

memories (they ache)

Thomas & Sonya, Sonyarriet, Thominho: Thomas doesn't know who this girl is, or why he should trust her. But he does, and that's what gets them out. Whump, hurt/comfort.

the fog rolls away

Thominho; Minho experiences a depressive episode in Paradise. Thomas is there to help.

carved names (crossed out)

Thominho; Post-Death Cure, they've begun housing Immunes in the Glades. This leads to distress in those who were trapped there. Hurt/comfort.

choose three (or we kill them all)

Thominho; based on the individual trials post-Scorch. Minho is forced to pick who lives or dies. Whump, hurt/comfort.

parties (are not for the weak)

Sonyarriet, Thominho; Modern AU. Harriet would like to have a normal birthday party, please. Not one that involves assholes pointing guns at her and her friends. Hurt/comfort.

our songs are ending (but don't cry)

Thominho, Sonyarriet, Minho & Thomas & Sonya & Harriet; No matter how many times they try, they cannot seem to escape WICKED. Each time they do, they only get worse beatings and less food.

But Thomas has to keep trying. They have to get out.

Torture, MCD

as night falls

Thominho; In Paradise, Thomas is having trouble sleeping. Minho notices. Hurt/comfort.

supposed to be

Thominho, Nalby, Sonyarriet; Wingfic + Royalty AU. Thomas is nervous about declaring courtship and officially marking himself as an adult. So of course things go wrong. Whump, hurt/comfort.

just remember those wicked words your mother used to say

Thominho; Fantasy AU set in the Maze. Thomas has powers, but he doesn't know how to use them and he doesn't know how to tell anyone. So he doesn't. Whump, hurt/comfort.

this love came back to me

Thominho; Thomas has chronic pain in Paradise and this is how Minho helps him with it. Hurt/comfort

finding you

Thominho; Fever Code Era. Thomas is quiet, and maybe a little weird. That doesn't stop Minho from getting to know him, and helping him where he can. Hurt/comfort.

(aka: The beginning of the long empath Thomas AU I have plotted out.)

fever dream high

Thominho, Sonyarriet; Soulmate AU. After the Scorch, Groups A and B are placed into a Maze together. Thomas is a dumbass who doesn't know anything about anything, so when he saves Minho's life this time, it really is an accident.

But they don't really care about that part. Hurt/comfort.

following you

Thominho; Minho's first impression of Thomas--Greenies aren't usually of much interest to him, but this one? He's gonna be watching him.

could already feel your kiss

Thominho, Brendesa, Sonyarriet; Enemies to lovers AU, set in a 1950s-inspired setting because Minho racing motorcycles in leather jackets. (You're welcome.)

Thomas visits his sister in her college town, only to find out that she's gone and joined a gang... and that he's not allowed to talk to the rival gang.

Minho, though? He's just got his eye on the new pretty boy in town.

And through it all, Janson and Ava are terrible parents.

Whump, hurt/comfort.

janson is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad man

Rape/Non-con, Mindbreak, Drugged Sex

Whump, big time. Comfort is slim but there. 18+. If you want to chat about this one, head over to @rememberthatiloveyou.

Thominho; Post-Scorch Trials AU. Janson takes the... opportunity of having Thomas at his mercy to treat him however he pleases. This includes making a deal with the few remaining Gladers in order to leave with Thomas.

saving you (is all that matters)

Thominho, Sonyarriet, Past Nalby; Post-Scorch Trials. Minho's terrified of telling the others that he thinks Thomas might be dead.

Thomas, meanwhile, only knows white.

Whump, hurt/comfort.

falling branches

Thominho, Sonyarriet, Nalby, Brendesa; Modern AU. When Thomas, Minho, Sonya, Newt, and Harriet get stuck in a storm, Minho's fight or flight kicks in--and he chooses flight. Thomas follows him, and this is the journey of getting them back.

Whump, hurt/comfort, check endnotes for more warnings.

for the hope of it all

Thominho; Modern AU. Minho and Thomas have been dating for a few years now. To their friends and family, everything is going great!

... Except for the fact that they're not actually dating. And now Minho doesn't know what to say.

MCD, hurt/comfort.

damn sure never would've danced with the devil

Sequel to janson is a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad man.

18+. @rememberthatiloveyou if you want to chat.

Thominally; Thomas wants to Minho to treat him differently in bed; Gally steps in to make sure all parties are pleased.

dancing in the starlight

Sonyarriet; Modern AU. Newt is boring. Sonya knows this, but because he's her brother, she decides to spend time with him anyway. And that turns out to be a fantastic way to find something exciting in her life.

Harriet's just trying to do her job, trying to learn everything she can about flowers so she can reach her dreams. It's not her fault there's a pretty girl distracting her.

aka: Watch Sonya and Harriet fall in love.

love is stored in the hand

18+. @rememberthatiloveyou if you want to chat.

Thominally fisting fic.

i'll say "just fine"

Thominho, Sonyarriet, Fry/Gally, past Nalby; Set in a no-Maze world where WICKED decided to take over the world in much less subtle way. Minho, much like everyone else he knows, is just trying to survive. Trying to keep memories of before alive as much as he can while also grieving the loss of far too many loved ones. He goes back to his old house, the last place he saw them alive. Whump, hurt/comfort. Mentions of torture.

could've followed my fears all the way down

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24

Thominally slowburn; Sonyarriet, Thomas & Sonya.

After nearly a year in Paradise, this is how things are going for some of our Gladers:

Thomas is struggling to understand how to piece himself back together, and he's not sure why any of his friends want him around.

Gally doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, especially not when he starts falling for the kid he used to hate.

Minho pretends he's got his shit together, but he's been in love with his best friend for over a year and hasn't said anything.

Whump, suicidal thoughts and actions, self-harm, hurt/comfort. It gets worse before it gets better.

You've Got Mail for @adoresbenho

Thominho slowburn(ish), very background nalby, brendesa, and sonyarriet. Written in epistolary format. Thomas and Minho attend sister boarding schools that require their students to exchange letters with each other. The trick? Their pen pals are selected for them, and they're not allowed to switch or even stop writing until they graduate. It's going to be a long few years.

#nix writes #fic masterlist #thominho #nalby #sonyarriet #brendesa #thominally #thomally #tmr fic #whump #whumptober #thominho week #2018 - 2022 at the time was made actually #hurt/comfort #fanfic #whump writing #minally #longfic

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lokiinmediasideblog · 7 months

Note

What Norse myth books have you read already? I need new recs x

I don't think any of these are particularly new. Trying to make a list of all I've read. And granted, my attention span has gotten worse over the years.

The first book featuring the norse pantheon in any form I read was Neil Gaiman's "American Gods".

There's Diana Wynne Jones' "Eight Days of Luke" which served as inspiration for "American Gods", according to Neil Gaiman. Children's book.

There's also "Odd and the Frost Giants" by Neil Gaiman and his "Norse Mythology" retelling. Children's book.

I LOVED Louie Stowell's Loki: A Bad God's Guide to Being Good, if you have children or trouble getting through books, get this! It's hilarious and smart. I enjoyed it as an adult. Diary of a Wimpy Kid meets Norse mythology.

I enjoyed the first two books by Joanne Harris as a teen, "Runemarks" and "Runelight." The first two (esp. the first) are fun and I love the Bart Simpson-esque portrayal of Loki. Unfortunately, the quality of later books focusing on Loki is terrible.

I unfortunately read Joanne Harris' "The Testament of Loki", first chapter is interesting, but he's unwillingly sharing a body with an annoying teen girl, and the way Harris deals with eating disorders is really bad. It's awful. Don't recommend.

I think Lyra Wolf's The Nine Worlds rising series are an easy read. I think she has a great comedic voice and the books are worth reading just for that, and I like the toxic Odin/Loki relationship. I do have complaints about them, such as the anachronistic language (e.g. Loki knowing what a Chihuahua is), and that Sigyn doesn't have flaws other than caring too much for her no-good brother. She also has the women are either saints or evil witches dichotomy going on in terms of portrayals of goddesses. I think the stakes are good in these books so that you keep reading them.

I enjoyed Cat Rector's "The Goddess of Nothing at All" A LOT. While it doesn't have my ideal morally gray portrayal of Sigyn yet, it did make Sigyn more complex than others have. I also like this book mainly because I am a sadist and I love whump and there's a lot of suffering on it. It's so sad you won't be laughing at the myth!Loki memes. I would avoid this book if you don't like whump. I do have criticisms about it, such as her Loki was a bit too nice for my taste and could have been worse (making him justified for cutting Sif's hair feels forced; he can still be a loveable and tragic asshole, you know?). But my tragedy-loving self loves this!

I was looking forward to Genevieve Gornichec's "The Witch's Heart", it has a cute start of Loki giving Angrboda her burnt heart, but she criminally made Angrboda and Loki boring as fuck. Angrboda conveniently doesn't remember anything and just fumbles her way inside a cave for a large portion of the book. And she is the POV we're following. WE ARE STUCK IN A CAVE SHE WON'T LEAVE. Loki's portrayal in this is one of the most cisheteronormative I've seen yet, and it's surprising the author managed this in a story where Loki is impregnated by a horse and wears a dress (he impatiently yanks off because he felt emasculated). The author thinks having a lean build and no beard=queer. Loki only shows interest in women and feels emasculated while wearing a dress. I also happen to hate Skadi and her weird castration fetish in this book. Bitch wouldn't shut up about it. The good thing about this book is that there's no anachronisms, and I liked Hel's portrayal.

So confession, I had Kindle Unlimited trial briefly, and I read a bunch of Loki books, such as Lyra Wolf's.

I think(?) I read A.B. Frost's "Father of Monsters". It was quite short, but has nice illustrations, and Loki's endearing, even if a little shit. That both takes one for the team and also endangers the team.

I read (partially) some book about Loki escaping his punishment early and rejoining the Aesir, but it was criminally boring (it never described how Loki got out of situations and the prose was incredibly VAGUE) and seemed geared towards Norse pagans(Which I AM NOT). Had a spiritual conflict-avoiding vibe. It was called "Loki" but forgot the author's name and I accessed for free by Kindle Unlimited. I also didn't like that it referred to cops as "Tyr's warriors". FUCK COPS.

I have not finished reading Mike Vasich's "Loki". I think the man thinks MCU Loki is accurate to Norse mythology, because that's the only Loki I could picture (and he was adopted by Odin). And man spent way too long describing sensing "power levels" that I ended up getting bored and stopped reading. I've also seen some amusing excerpt from another of his books I have not read. But, if you're an author, don't spend a lot of time describing power levels, FFS! You'll bore the fuck out of your readers.

#norse mythology #loki #myth!loki #myth!sigyn #myth!angrboda #neil gaiman #mike vasich #louie stowell #cat rector #lyra wolf #a.b. frost #joanne harris #genevieve gornichec #LokiBookClub

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kinocomix · 4 months

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untitled project devlog 8: themes, and pain

At first, when I said I wanted to discuss the themes of my project, I thought that maybe there would be some convenient article, book or philosophy deep dive I could reference, which does not seem to be much the case, seeing as how my approach to themes is very personal. so… here’s some thoughts.

In case it’s not abundantly obvious by now, the story features a band and music quite prominently. One of my original elevator pitches for the comic was “think metalocalypse meets bandslam, but with the scope of Ernest et Celestine and the presentation of a black and white Wes Anderson film” which is the vaguest shit ever and I’ll eventually get my head out of my ass long enough to stop worrying about spoiling the story. My point is: the act of being creative is at the forefront of the story. What drives it forward is something I won’t mention in this series, but a lot of ideas emerge when you decide to write something as personal as making art. Things like purpose, belonging, self worth, expression, communication, validation are things that every artist or musician deals with quite regularly and no story about creativity would be complete without them.

The first post ever made to this blog was a webcomic name fancomic that, looking back, isn’t bad but remembering the reason why I made it is what makes me cringe. I wanted attention. When I started making art I expected to be famous in 100 days. literally, I wish I was exaggerating.

In every artist’s journey with art, they reach the point where they realize that the only things really worth pursuing are the things they’re passionate about. Sometimes this is drawing commissions, other times people do commissions to keep themselves alive. A lot of times, the art people are passionate about barely gets any attention at all. It's a fact that a lot of creatives secretly know that people who get successful doing something they love are very lucky.

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It takes maturity to be happy for people and proud of their hard work as opposed to being an envious child but that doesn’t mean we don’t secretly want success as well. If I could have enough dedicated readers to make my comics for a living but never be famous I’d do that in a heartbeat. Every big shiny thing is destined to accumulate dust, I don’t want to be a big shiny thing, I want to be a reliable hill you can trust to be there year after year. It took me a while to get to the mindset I work with today. 6 years might not feel like a lot when you consider the insane careers some artists had, but as far as people go 6 years is a lot. I graduated, finished a book, worked on 2 short film productions that have both won awards (one of which for my sound design!!), moved house, freelanced, started a stable job, been to therapy, gotten an operation, nearly lost people, been through an explosion, an economic collapse; and I think that’s just the stuff I’m remembering off the top of my head.

Finding documentation and sources about this kind of stuff is pretty difficult because this is not what gets publicized about media. However, if you pay enough attention some similarities start to appear.

The manga Berserk is pretty famous for its elaborate artwork and story. It doesn’t really need an intro and I’ve been told I need to read it which I plan on, but that’s not the point right now. As you may know, Kentaro Miura, the author and illustrator of the manga passed away in 2021. For fans of the series, while very tragic, this wasn’t all that surprising. The dude doesn’t fill in black. he crosshatches everything. An admirable feat, which makes you thankful that a friend of his, Kouji Mori, decided to finish making the manga after he passed away.

Many other manga share this. Vagabond by Takehiko Inoue, has been known to frequently go on hiatus. So has Hunter x Hunter by Yoshihiro Togashi. A lot of times, an artist’s undying faith to their work is because of how passionate they are about it, the people involved in making it or even the audience. I forget the exact interview this is from, but Linkin park has gone on record for saying that sometimes they need to consider the audience. you see them always excited to talk about how experimental their music is, which is great, but when you know someone’s on the receiving end of what you’re making, it’s bound to make you think a bit differently.

This video of George RR Martin and Stephen King chatting kind of outlines the different approaches they have to writing. One of the most iconic quotes is “how do you write so fast?” Spoken by Martin. Now I’m not here to talk about Game of Thrones, trust me I couldn't care less but it does bring up one point worth talking about which is inspiration, discipline and what that has to do about your malleability as an artist.

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This is the trailer for H.E.R.A., one of the short movies I worked on as a sound designer and general handyman. It was written and animated by my friend Alaa Fleifel with the help of some wonderful fellow artists and animators for some of the scenes. Alaa and his studio Phat Chik are an example of what I’m talking about.

pictured: Alaa.

When I talk about being malleable, I don’t mean that in the X-men mystique “I chameleon my way around the world” school of art though that can work in some cases, sure. What I refer to is one’s ability to keep making their art. During the production of H.E.R.A., there were at many points obstacles that would have shot down most movie productions. The sound designer had to prioritize staying alive so he had to unfortunately quit the project midway. Alaa had to juggle a fulltime job, commissions and a rapidly decaying economic system that meant most clients didn’t want to pay well anymore so he had to outsource some of the background art and scenes to friends and animators that he paid out of pocket. The production timeline lasted a year and 8 months, most of that time was spent patching up the team in the background. Working on H.E.R.A. taught me that there is no project in existence that is the result of one human being. Everyone has at least one person to give them advice, someone who goes “hey, I know a guy” and very often that is not just one person. When band line ups change, it’s sometimes treated with an air of disregard.

“oh, it’s just the drummer”

“it’s the rhythm guitarist, their job is pretty easy anyway”

Had Alaa waited around for inspiration or permission to make his film, it would have never happened. Sure, a lot of why we get to watch the absurdist sci-fi acid trip that is H.E.R.A. is due to some luck and connections, but a lot of it is also due to a rejection of the notion that inspiration is what primarily fuels creativity.

So what does that say about the story? usually I find it helpful to present my themes in the form of questions, so here’s what i’ve been able to come up with:

Who does art/music belong to?

How much of the soul of art and music gets lost in translation?

How do you balance making stuff for yourself and an audience once you have one?

How much does inspiration really matter?

I need to be honest with you about something.

I’ve been kind of avoiding talking about the more… personal themes at play here.

it’s not because I don’t know what they are, really. They just come from a place of deep discomfort and humiliation for me. I’ve obviously become a much different human being over the course of my 27 years on the rapidly traveling rock in space but it’s never not weird for me remembering the dumb things I did or said growing up or while I was finding my footing as a writer. There are entire projects and dozens of pages of things that I threw out the window before I felt confident enough in something to be able to share it. there’s a lot of fucking up you do while growing up and not surprisingly, I feel more comfortable seeing my weird feelings in fiction than I do laid out in bullet points in a devlog. So I promise you this:

the people in the story are going to be human. Faults, warts and all. The only thing I ask of you is to know that while those warts are real, they are not mine anymore. Every day that passes, I grow a little bit more, and maybe at some point I’ll grow tall enough that the light trickling through the trees will feel safe enough to fly.

Merry Christmas, and may every year bring a little bit more sun.

Devlog updates on tuesdays.

#comic #webcomic #kinocomix #devlog #graphic novel #metal #youtube #writing #Youtube

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denimbex1986 · 5 months

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'Doctor Who has returned with its second highly anticipated 60th anniversary special featuring David Tennant back as the 14th Doctor alongside Catherine Tate as Donna Noble. Joining the likes of "Midnight" and "The Waters of Mars," showrunner Russell T. Davies has delivered another stellar horror episode with "Wild Blue Yonder." With footage and storylines kept tightly under wraps, the episode features more than its fair share of surprises.

Written by Davies and directed by Tom Kingsley, this episode puts the Doctor and Donna through the emotional wringer and brings them through the other side of it stronger than ever. At the end of "The Star Beast," Donna accidentally spills a cup of coffee onto the console of the TARDIS, activating its time and space capabilities and sending it into pure chaos as it explodes and whirls her and the Doctor off to worlds unknown. When they crash land on a spaceship in uncharted territory, they're thrown out of the TARDIS, which has conveniently removed itself from danger, leaving the Doctor and Donna to fend for themselves.

'Wild Blue Yonder' Balances Terror With an Emotional Character Story

The episode opens on quite a light note with the Doctor and Donna landing in an apple tree in 1666 at the moment Sir Isaac Newton discovers the concept of gravity, or in this case, mavity. With a few lighthearted jokes, the TARDIS whisks the duo off once again only to land them at the very edge of the galaxy on a seemingly uninhabited spaceship. Chucked out of the TARDIS, which is actively repairing itself, the wibbly-wobbly time machine makes itself scarce as it realizes that there is a menacing force on board this ship.

Determined to find her way home, Donna and the Doctor march right into the action and set about figuring out where they are, finding nothing but a spooky old robot, and an unnerving ship's log revealing that an airlock was opened and closed three years prior. When the duo separates for the sake of getting the ship back online, imposters appear for each of them pretending to be the other with convincing enough charm and enough of their memories until warped horror begins to give them away. From there, "Wild Blue Yonder" forces the Doctor and Donna into a deep character study that examines their duality, both together and individually, as they fight the copies of themselves and face some difficult truths.

The beings, called "No-things," come from the darkness and are filled with a malevolent rage that they wish to unleash upon the rest of the galaxy. To achieve that goal, they go about turning themselves into perfect evil replicas of the Doctor and Donna, determined to trick the TARDIS into bringing them back to Earth upon its return. All the while they're able to bend and manipulate their bodies into horrific shapes and terrorize the Doctor and Donna with secrets hidden in the depths of both of their memories.

Russell T. Davies Delivers an Excellent Horror Episode With 'Wild Blue Yonder'

Davies is well known for his dynamic range when it comes to writing Doctor Who, with stories from the silly and delightful to those that take unsettling concepts that sit with the audience long after the credits roll. With "Wild Blue Yonder," he takes a hefty balance of silly and mixes it with the absolute horror of being known so completely by something, or someone, that wishes to destroy you.

One of the most incredible moments in this episode comes when the Doctor and Donna must prove to each other that they're real when, in fact, they are once again facing the No-things. The duplicate Donna corners the Doctor and confronts him about his own past, his unknown origins, and how he carries the responsibility for the creation of the Time Lords, and the immense guilt over the destruction of half the universe. It nearly works too, as the Doctor drops his defenses, admitting how much he missed Donna in the fifteen (but for him so many more) years since they'd seen each other. That spare moment of vulnerability makes the Doctor feel all too seen, and as difficult as it is, he wants Donna to see him, for someone to understand. He's simultaneously all-powerful and completely helpless.

Meanwhile, things don't get quite as deep for Donna, but she speaks about her family and the life she's built since her time on the TARDIS. She wonders about how they'll remember her if she never makes it home, knowing now that she won't be forgotten in the slightest, not the way she was made to forget. Donna, in her original Doctor Who run, famously thinks fairly low of herself, saying things like "I'm nothing special" and "I'm just no one," with the Doctor insisting that she is, in fact, brilliant. In this episode, it's key to her survival that Donna believes herself to be both insignificant and capable of incredible things.

"Wild Blue Yonder" is an episode that audiences will want to watch again and again to fully understand the depth of its emotional story. On top of devastating character moments, the episode is filled with unsettling body horror as the duplicate Doctor and Donna twist their limbs and crack their bones in the pursuit of terrorizing the real versions. The direction of the episode by Kingsley is also top-notch as it puts the viewer on edge, leaving one not entirely sure who's who and what's real. While the CGI might come off somewhat silly in the light of day, it quickly turns into true horror as it becomes much more real the longer the episode goes on. Filled with fantastical things and running almost entirely on the chemistry between Tate and Tennant — along with their incredible range as actors — "Wild Blue Yonder" is an outstanding episode.

Tennant and Tate Flex Their Dramatic Range in 'Wild Blue Yonder'

Once again, Tennant and Tate prove that they are one of the best acting duos on television. Together, the Doctor and Donna look right into the darkness in this episode, and they find it staring back at them with their own faces. In "Wild Blue Yonder," Tennant takes the Doctor across the full range of emotions, from silly and wondrous to earthshakingly vulnerable to filled with rage and genuine terror. On the other hand, Tate has Donna's signature charm back in full force now that her memories are intact. At the same time, she brings a much-needed balance to the Doctor, keeping him grounded and helping him to process the parts of himself that he doesn't want to face. While they're able to pick up exactly where they left off with each other it's also clear they're creating something new, as well as laying the groundwork for Ncuti Gatwa's era as the fifteenth Doctor.

As their duplicate versions, Tennant and Tate are wildly unsettling, with a menacing undertone to everything that they do. The No-thing versions are capable of replicating the well of emotion that they have for each other until they pull the rug right out from under each other. The two actors give their duplicates subtle differences in crucial moments, leaving the audience guessing until it's nearly too late. They prove that whenever these two actors are on the same page with each other, they're completely unstoppable. Tate and Tennant work in perfect sync with each other on double time in this episode, delivering dual performances that make them both endlessly watchable.

As they realize that they need to destroy the No-things entirely to protect the rest of the galaxy, the Doctor and Donna fall into a race against time that very nearly sees them both dead. Following a last-second rescue from the TARDIS and a much-needed double take from the Doctor, he and Donna make it out by the very skin of their teeth, clinging to each other in the now-repaired time machine. Finally, this episode reveals a sweet surprise after putting the viewer through emotional turmoil. When Donna and the Doctor arrive back in London, they find themselves face to face with none other than Donna's grandfather Wilf (Bernard Cribbins). The reunion with Wilf is perfectly delightful, his pure spirit lifting our hearts after everything we've watched the Doctor and Donna go through. However, moments later, it's revealed that all of humanity has gone mad as shops explode and planes fall from the sky, setting up the third and final special still to come.

Rating: A.'

#Doctor Who #60th Anniversary #David Tennant #Catherine Tate #Donna Noble #Wilfred Mott #Bernard Cribbins #Russell T. Davies #Tom Kingsley #Midnight #The Waters of Mars #The Star Beast #Wild Blue Yonder

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rametarin · 7 months

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"Anti-Capitalists" be like

Okay say you had a lady named Wanda. She could be a Stacy, Kaur, Jazelle or Kim. But, we're just going to call her Wanda for this exercise.

And you have a fellow named Steve.

Wanda likes Dave, not Steve. Steve hates Dave because of this. Steve wants to be with Wanda, but sees Dave as someone that's in the way of his relationship. Because Dave is in Steve's way, Steve hates Dave. Steve sees Dave as perhaps the worst person in the world, the source of every crime and the origin of all foul smells.

Steve goes to Wanda one day and starts flexing and talking up about himself, trying to impress her. Wanda isn't really interested, but is kind and polite. Steve thinks that means he can win her affections, because she isn't being outwardly hostile.

Wanda tells him, "no thank you, I'm happy with Dave."

Steve gets mad about this and starts arguing he's superior to Dave in all ways. With Steve, she'd be an equal partner. With Steve, she'd have prosperity and peace and time to fulfill her heart's ambitions. The sky would be bluer and sunnier, the grass greener, the waters cleaner. All because she chose Steve!

Wanda politely turns him down, all the same.

Steve demands she explain why she doesn't like him, specifically.

Wanda says she likes Dave. Simple as that. She doesn't need a reason to prefer Dave.

Steve proclaims he is superior, his methods and his relationships are valid, and Dave's aren't. That he is just superior and more moral in all ways. You know, the usual intellectualist "I am better than thou" shit. In another time and place, Steve might even try to cite a religious text or tradition to argue he's more godly. But, Steve is a loud atheist and his absolutist morality comes not from belief in a deity as a higher power, but what he feels is objective truth. Steve believes his way is better, because it's Steve's way, and therefore, better than Dave.

Wanda explains, be that as it may, she prefers Dave. End of.

Steve gets particularly bootybothered by this. How could Wanda POSSIBLY like Dave over HIM!? Clearly, there's corruption! That nasty Dave has corrupted her! He's lied to her! He's blinding her! Dave must be a villain of impossible potency.

Steve keeps trying to compare his theoretical supremacy to Dave's flaws and failures around Wanda, pointing out how HE would have done something if she'd just ditch Dave and give HIM a chance.

Wanda offers him the opportunity to prove it for her. Steve gets mad and declines, citing that unless they are in a closed, committed relationship where Dave works to help them, he won't do that. His vision needs people to participate in it to work, or it won't function. He won't share with Dave.

Wanda then tells him no. Steve goes back to trying to sell himself to her and their relationship.

Wanda listens to Steve tell her all about how under his idea of a relationship, they'd be "equals," as Steve sees it. But really, his ideas are just that- his ideas. His idea of everything is arbitrary and hinges on abstracts, and ignores the objective realities and intrinsic characteristics of things. Steve sees the world as he feels it ought to be and relate, not the way that it is.

Wanda rolls her eyes at Steve and his, "on paper" supremacy. Especially the way this theoretical supremacy only seems to exist by conveniently drawing all the competition as noodle armed stick people with stink lines coming off of them. Steve's little comics feature a bizarre interpretation of their relationships and histories and imagines himself as an unrecognized noble superhero type amongst them. Poor Steve, so superior and moble and yet untried. Wanda is not moved.

Well, time passes. Steve still stomps around town screaming about his supremacy and inevitability as a central figure in how everybody thinks and works and what they strive for. Wanda and Dave have a daughter. Enough time passes that their daughter, Lulu, becomes a young woman.

Steve manages to reproduce a bastard. We'll call him, 'Leonard.' For no reason.

Well, Leonard is an apple that doesn't fall far from the tree. He sees Lulu. He tries to woo her. Lulu is not interested. First on Leonard's own merits, and then after a chat with Wanda.

Steve teaches and trains Leonard, and Leonard is basically a carbon copy of dear old dad- Steve makes sure of it. Bad faith argument, duplicitious thinking, blowhard theorizing, sometimes binary and absolutist thinking, and a horrible tendency to take real life problems and handwave them as abstracts, then treat these abstracts as if they were more real than the real thing, and limited by those characteristics and how they relate in that abstract world.

Leonard tries to woo Lulu, just as Steve tried to woo Wanda. However, with one change.

Leonard doesn't try to talk about himself first. Instead, he starts confiding with Lulu on a different wavelength entirely. Be her friend? Heck no, he's just grooming her under false pretenses to get close. Instead, Leonard starts talking mad shit about the other boys at school, pointing out "their flaws." Spreading gossip, blaming them for everything.

One kid is the reason his family horse was born lame and had bad teeth. Another kid is why his drunken father won't stop drinking. Another kid is a no-go because, "you know how the children of alcoholics just continue the cycle! It's learned behavior, you know. Sad but inescapable. He WILL be a drunk. Mourn for our society!"

And one by one, Leonard says, with unswerving confidence, each of his rivals is invalid or technically foul in some way or another, and are not legitimate or credible candidates in the realm of love. Many of these things are false and at best rumors, faults attributed and blamed to them by someone that just wants them to be guilty for unfortunate circumstances. Some of them are only technically true, many of the problems are infuriating and irritating and would certainly be moreso if the children did them on purpose.

And Lulu starts to realize that Leonard's "helpful" critique of the other boys sure seems to make them known scumbags, but leave him as the unknown. After individually and ritualistically helping her disqualify the other boys from the running as boyfriend material, he doesn't try to sell himself. He just tries to make her discount any other option BUT him. She wants a partner, she wants love. But she doesn't want to be abused by a known abuser, exploited by a known exploiter, or cheated on by a known cheater. And Leonard has "helpfully" made sure that all the other options available to her are either inadequate or unacceptable.

All of them except Leonard, for some reason.

Lulu accuses Leonard of trying to make himself look good by badmouthing the other boys. Leonard gets defensive and declares she can't POSSIBLY know what he's REALLY thinking! He NEVER said he was superior. He's just Anti-Ted, Anti-Max and Anti-Archie-ist. It is perfectly valid to criticize people that do bad things when you see it. You can't accuse someone of trying to do anything just because they're "innocently" critiqueing people that might be their competition.

Lulu is not buying it. This infuritates Leonard more, because he sees people as more close to sheep than himself and argues she's somehow cheating, because you can't know what I'm thinking! You can't PROVE why I'm anti-badthingsist! And he is just, so bent on this. She can't prove his motivation for anything! She's just being defensive because she has a bias and doesn't like him criticizing it.

It doesn't help that many of the things Leonard considers "bad" about them are only "bad" because Leonard insists they are. Such as, Ted. Ted writes stories that are horror. Many of his stories, nobody is good with a clear antagonist that is in the wrong.

Leonard feels this is wrong of Ted. Leonard feels the proper way to write a novel is to teach something positive to society and make it clear that the bad people believe bad things. Leonard feels the correct way to write a story that features rape is to make the story punish the rapist and redeem the abused, or else the story merely perpetuates the act of rape itself. Leonard sees stories as a way to reinforce morality and change society, not simply enjoy fiction for fiction's sake.

And so Lulu understands, Leonard feels Ted is guilty of, "supporting rape and murder," by not operating under Leonard's other ideas of what a "good writer" should be. Therefore, when Leonard calls Ted a rape apologist and sociopath with antisocial tendencies, Leonard is speaking less about what Ted believes, thinks or has done, so much as Leonard's interpretation of Ted, according to how Leonard believes the world works.

And after making those logical leaps, insists the results of them are true to Lulu, very readily telling her these horrible things as if they were truth distilled from a mathematician's mouth.

After learning the truth, Lulu is even less inclined to believe Leonard and suspect his motivations are immoral. He isn't trying to "save" anyone, he isn't trying to "warn" anyone of anything. He's trying to manipulate her into seeing all other options but himself as inherently tainted, dangerous or wrong, and make her despair in loneliness before she either goes to him proactively or he makes his pitch in a competitionless bubble.

On her own, Lulu figured out Leonard is full of shit. But then Lulu talks to her mother Wanda, and learns just what a shitheaded legacy of liars, bumblers, fools and blowhards Leonard comes from. And then she realized EXACTLY where Leonard's "I'm smarter than you" cold hearted, self-important manipulations came from. Lulu refuses to give Leonard the benefit of the doubt from that moment forwards, as she knows what he tried to do by poisoning the well of other people specifically to be the last man standing in a sport he organized just to win by default and judge the whole thing by his rules, and how he never, ever apologizes honestly for lying. That this relationship and these horrible beliefs have passed to the next generation, and gotten even more deceptive and cold blooded.

So Lulu shuns Leonard and gets on with her life. Lulu has a daughter of her own. We'll call her Vivianne, or Viv for short.

Leonard, also, manages to get a pity fuck he raises to be a pseudo-intellectual. We'll call him Horace.

Horace predictably likes Viv. And the cycle continues, over and over again. Leonard and Steve both worked in their respective times to make sure anybody trying to talk about them and their manipulative behavior would be silenced, distracted, or their written records expunged. But not everything slipped through the cracks.

Horace approaches Viv, but she's immediately suspicious. Horace lectures her about how hateful society has been to his family, because, "we're poor." Yes, the fact they're poor is why, it having nothing to do with Leonard and Steve being predatory assholes that are just bad at being predators, who broke their own families and destroyed their own houses with their bungling, arrogance and hubris. No, it had nothing to do with their insisting they control over people around them with arbitrarily assigned rules and ways and means that they insisted were separate from themselves imposing them, so weren't tyrannical. Surely, it was propaganda because, "they hate the poor, fear change and just fear for their own ill-gotten fortunes and reputations."

Every generation, this family and their shitty philosophy tries to woo people. Every generation is at first taken in, because they go for the ones that have no previous experience and have no reason to think that they're being preyed on, not physically, not necessarily financially, but intellectually. Groomed and told certain facts to the omission of others, emphasis on some parts of history, generous interpretation of others, all of it suiting their narrative. When it's not hurried handholding, it's pushy arm twisting where they twist genuine lessons with subjective morality, until you can't have the meat without their cheese saturating it. You can't have education without their interpretive spin on things. They'll make sure of that. You won't get facts and truth without their spin on it.

You cite the proof and history of their family of philosophy and how it deceptively exploited people and doomed others, they handwave it away as, "propaganda and biased opinion, also they're just trying to cover for their own crimes." Whataboutism and character assassination in defense of themselves, and pre-emptive character assassination against people that they know are likely to contradict them or pose a problem for them in the future.

Anti-capitalists are frustrating. They have a clear bias and agenda. No one wakes up in the morning, determines that private property is a specific concept and part of a conspiracy that needs to be abolished, and doesn't have some sort of alternative idea or set of ideas on exactly what they'd replace it with. The same as someone doesn't just demand you give up bicycling to work in a vacuum. Something about the bicycle making conveyance to and from the job upsets them. By denying you the bicycle, for whatever reason they find the bicycle immoral, they are denying you the benefits and means that the thing provides. And that is not unintentional.

You have to get to work. By arguing that the bicycle shouldn't exist, you either ignore the necessity of work, or making it impossible to get to work is your end goal. You're either advocating for another means of conveyance, the abolition of labor, or something. Arguing against the bicycle isn't simply, "critique of the bicycle," it's taking a piece out of a system deliberately to make it unable to function. It cannot be seen as something in a vacuum. It is a deliberate power move to create a void. To replace what existed in that space.

And the way anti-capitalists operate to do that is keeping what they would advocate for in place of capitalism under a tarp, and pretend it's not even part of the conversation and is not even up for debate. Trying to demand that the only conversation had is that gate of whether you'll support an unsupportable evil (as they present it) or not. They will not even engage in a conversation critical of socialism or communism on their merits, because that's not the conversation they want to take place while it has competition.

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nourfk · 7 months

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*˖ ⊹" drunk on emptiness "

...late at night at Suds & Bubbles (several months ago) 🫧 featuring @eloisemeadows and @dee-voss

The swooshing of the washer pulled Nour into a trance, her brown eyes watching it mindlessly as the letter in her purse pulsed like a heartbeat. The moment she found the letter replayed every hour: an off-white envelope with two lipstick stains adorning it. It was a bold red, the markings of a kiss so clear it was hard not to reach out and touch it. There was only one other letter that has ever interested Nour in the last five years. The first was one she found abandoned, thrown away in a nearby open garbage can only a few feet away from the mailbox. The letter was meant for someone who conveniently lived on Nour's route (at the time), recognizing the address after letting it sink in for a minute. In not so many words, it was the start of Nour's fascination with the letters she delivered. Before, they were just bills and ads to the naked eye. Now, they carried a piece of the whole story between two people.

It was never Nour's intention to get involved. She always meant to deliver, no matter the conditions (as pledged by Stillwater Post.) She was an onlooker, a bystander... nothing more. That is until the kissed-stained love note ended in her possession, captivating her. Perhaps it was due to the season: the cold winter air, Christmas decorations decorating the city, and the vision of family and love materializing everywhere you looked. How could you not feel lonely surrounded by that? It was getting to Nour without realizing, the letter configuring itself as her apparent loneliness. It never left Nour's thoughts as it was going to its receiver. It made a purchase in her mind, curious about the person who wrote it. Finally, after nearly a month, her questions were answered.

Nour's first day on her new route, while at first —oddly nerve-wracking— ended up becoming a blessing in disguise. Arriving at the home of someone with a familiar name, Nour discovered her new friend, Eloise Meadows, was now on her route. She found it to be a funny coincidence, interested in what kind of home Elly made for herself (and what the home of someone waiting for another looked like). As the thought crossed her mind, Nour had to check the letter in her hand again, the other holding the clasp of the mailbox. The envelope was covered in so many addresses, similar to the one with the red kiss, there could only be one conclusion in Nour's mind: it was Elly.

It was harsh to consider what became of her obsession with Elly and her partner's letters, but it was difficult to deny that it was anything but that. Nour became drunk on her loneliness, and one barely sealed letter later welcomed itself as an invitation. She started reading the letters shared between Elly and Dieter (Dee) and, after a few months, began to intervene. Getting to hear how Elly felt (the last couple of times they met) in person only gave her more blind permission to mend what she thought was broken. She was invested in their romance, determined to come to Elly's aid by romanticizing Dee's words, adding more poetry to them. She swore it was just that. For the first five or so letters, it was just the editing, but after noticing the quality of his letters going down, Nour found herself checking in.

At first, it was the simple things. She'd write in the best way she felt she knew Dee, shamefully coming up with what he might be feeling at that time. He became almost like a character to her— magnifying how he must be feeling towards Elly. Nour knew that he missed the way her hair smelled, the way her eyes crinkled when she laughed, and the way she felt. But does he know of the way she carries herself when being yelled at by tourists? Or the way she calms crying children when they arrive through the doors of the lodge? It was only now that Nour realized she was no longer pretending she was Dee— catching herself as she went on to write the letter in her purse, considering it to be the most devastating one yet. She had to rewrite it, knowing she couldn't mention all those things. Dee didn't know— he couldn't have.

And so, she wrote it in response to hers, aware that with her words.. she was no longer writing just for Dee— but for herself. Her heart beat with every word she wrote, almost wishing that when she read it... she'd know it'd be from her. Nour's heart was poured into that letter, in a not-so-obvious way, sitting in her purse. As the washer came to a slow stop, Nour got to her feet, the realization dawning on her that this was her chance to step away from everything. If she didn't send it, Elly or Dee would end up sending another, none the wiser to where that last letter went. It'd be easy to believe that a letter got lost— which wasn't out of the ordinary.

In fact, it'd be the perfect cover-up.

As if on autopilot, Nour transfers her wet clothes into the dryer beside it, her gaze still empty as she considers the options before her. It would be perfect... she reminds herself, knowing it was the better option. Her guilt would go away, and that meant something. Despite claiming to do the right thing, Nour was still pained with the guilt of involving herself in someone else's relationship. It was wrong... she knew that. But as a couple entered the laundromat, barely able to tear themselves apart enough to start separating their laundry, it brought Nour back to her reality: she was already in too deep, and her loneliness wouldn't go away even if she stopped.

Placing the coins into the dryer, Nour then rushes to her bag and swings it over her shoulder. She takes a quick look back at her basket sitting beside the machine, nodding to herself as she makes her way out and towards the nearest mailbox. Reaching for the envelope inside, Nour doesn't hesitate to toss it in, only pausing to realize what she had done after letting go of the handle. There was no looking back.

#*˖ ⊹ here i am ╲ musings #self para

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lemonluvgirl · 2 years

Text

Pure As a Little Lamb

A modern AU featuring college Everlark & secret dating (reblog)

In response to an anonymous tumblr ask for a drabble with a promt for: “Katniss rooms with Johanna and while Johanna is looking for something in Katniss' room, she sees the used condom in the trash and calls up the gang (Finnick, Annie, Gale, and Peeta (even though unbeknownst to the rest of them it was Peeta she has been sleeping with) to figure out who Katniss had over the prior night.

Johanna tap-taped the spike heel of her black mesh stiletto ankle boots on the tile of her and Katniss’ shared bathroom. Last night had been one hell of a rager at the frat house she’d ventured to solo and she’d gotten back just in time to beat the morning rush of walk of shamers that were currently filing down the halls in still slightly hungover embarrassment.

Johanna didn’t do embarrassment though, or shame.

She had woken up before the sun, popped two emergency aspirin from her purse, downed a bottle of water from the dorm room mini fridge, pulled her LBD back on and left a congratulatory note for the cute frat boy who managed to keep up with her for half the night despite the copious amount of tequila they had both shot at the party. She had done this all with an air of confidence and a self satisfied smile.

Sex was enjoyable. Therefore she enjoyed it. No caveats, no regrets (unless the guy was terrible), and absolutely no awkwardness.

It was their junior year of college after all. Now was the time to explore their sexual limits. Test the boundaries while their bodies were still young enough to bounce back from being tied up and screwed within an inch of their lives before waking up the next day and passing that exam on advanced economics.

At least that’s what she was always telling her friends Annie, Madge, and Katniss.

The whole sexual freedom speech had fallen on deaf ears though until six months ago, when Annie started hooking up with their university’s soccer team golden boy, Finnick. Now she finally had someone to trade sexual exploit stories with.

That Finnick is a freak in the sheets. Johanna thought amusedly as she stripped off her clothes and started to run the shower. She grabbed a pack of makeup removing wipes and gingerly started to clean her day old makeup off.

At least one of her friends had heeded her advice and started to branch out sexually. Johanna was proud of the work she had done with Annie. The girl had real potential to let her freak flag fly if she stuck with Finnick long enough to learn the ropes.

Her other two friends on the other hand….

Johanna sighed and shook her head at her reflection in the mirror. Madge wasn’t so bad. She was a little sexually repressed having grown up as the only child of a wealthy politician. She had lived most her life under a microscope, and she was just barely learning to let go of some of her deeply rooted inhibitions. She’d recently started to embrace the idea of casual hook ups and had even shared the last time they had a girl’s night that she’d gotten down and dirty with her casual guy in the back of the library.

Way to go Madge. Having sex in public places was a real show of progress for daddy’s little princess. She wasn’t completely liberated, but she was getting there.

Now the only one left was Fort Knox, A.K.A. Katniss Everdeen, who guarded her vagina more securely than the U.S. government guarded their gold bullion reserves. Johanna wasn’t even sure if Katniss had ever gotten laid. She was that tight lipped about the whole thing. Every time sex came up she put on a nasty little scowl and excused herself to the kitchen, or bathroom, or conveniently remembered some test she had to study for.

Johanna had been trying to crack her for years. Ever since the first week they moved in together freshman year and Katniss had almost peed her pants when she accidently opened Johanna’s box of sex toys while she was helping her new roomate unpack.

The look on the poor girl’s face when she saw the collection of vibrators, dildos, anal beads and nipple clamps was priceless. Like a tiny little lamb catching the first glimpse of the way lamb chops were made.

Johanna was starting to wonder if Katniss would ever find someone to connect with other than her platonic friends. She wasn’t just sexually repressed. She was emotionally unavailable too. She had a hard time letting people in. Johanna worried might die as an old maid if something didn’t change soon. Johanna tsked under her breath as she threw the used makeup wipes in the bathroom trash can, but she stopped before turning toward the shower.

A flash of gold color in the trashcan caught her eye.

Johanna knelt down to get a better look.

Holy mother of all shattered expectations. Johanna thought as she grabbed the roll of TP and proceeded to wrap her hand in several layers before she dug through the contents of the trash receptacle.

Used condom foil packets. Two of them. Along with (ew) two used condoms, sat mixed in with the usual array of makeup wipes, q-tips, and beauty product wrappers. Johanna avoided the used condoms but with surgeon-like precision she fished the condom wrappers out and made her way back into the main room so she could grab a zip lock bag.

After she had preserved the evidence she grabbed her cell and proceeded to send off multiple rapid fire messages on the group text thread. Then she climbed in the shower and scrubbed down in record time.

Read the whole fic on AO3.

#johanna mason #thg #fanfiction #everlark #modern au #college everlark #secret dating #johanna POV

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