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mazegays · 8 days

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could've followed my fears all the way down

i have been listening to ttpd on repeat since it released and like. i thought listening to this is me trying on repeat while writing multiple sections was as angsty as it could get, but i was wrong. this could have been worse than it is, and depending on who you ask it's already too whumpy lmao

Chapter 24

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23

“Thomas, you need to eat something.” Minho shares a look with Gally. Thomas isn’t doing it on purpose— he’s thrown up everything but applesauce for the last week— but they don’t have any left and he needs to get something other than water in his system.

“Don’t want to throw up again.” Thomas hasn’t moved from the bed much in days. With the vomiting he’s been doing, he’s at risk of re-damaging his ribs and diaphragm, and no one wants that.

Thomas might know the risks better than anyone but Anya. Someone’s been bringing him the extra tablet they picked up, and when he’s not sleeping, reading on it is all Thomas has been doing.

Minho doesn’t want to take Thomas’s only source of entertainment away, but he’s not sure it’s a good thing that Thomas has daily access to all this information. What if he just stresses himself out more?

“Try a slice of bread. Please.” Gally tries, and Minho knows that he’s remembering when he had to feed Thomas to a mostly-healthy weight. He’d never quite gotten there, and now he’s starving.

“Okay.” Thomas eats the bread slowly, taking nearly twenty minutes to finish the whole thing, but Minho doesn’t care how long it takes, he just wants Thomas to be able to eat again.

Not being able to eat will affect the rest of his recovery as well, and Thomas has already complained about how he’s going to be in bed for a few weeks already, just to be on the safe side.

At least during Gally’s few weeks in bed, Minho had been there with him most of the time. And now Gally can move around, as long as he uses his crutches.

Thankfully, it stays down long enough for Thomas to fall asleep.

“How long has he been sleeping for?” Anya asks, holding the tablet that’s been dedicated to medical records. Including their old WCKD files, though Minho’s still not sure how he feels about that.

She’s been adding to them. WCKD shouldn’t be able to access those additions, and it’s good to have records.

“Maybe fifteen minutes? He managed to eat a slice of bread and keep it down before he fell asleep. It’s more than he’s eaten lately.” She types it in and then checks Thomas’s pulse and breathing rate, and draws some blood.

“I’ll check to see if there’s an electrolyte imbalance. Hopefully, it’s not too big, because we don’t have supplements here.”

“What else can we try? This is the first time he’s been able to eat the bread,” Gally asks. Minho knows he’s been going through Thomas’s file, trying to figure something out. He still spends time in the kitchen, but not nearly as much as when they thought Thomas was dead.

Minho hasn’t been working much, either. If he could work up some emotion other than relief, he might be a little upset about it. Not too upset, though. He’s perfectly fine with not having to work hard another day in his life.

He will eventually, he’s sure, but since they’re here, it’ll be something he enjoys. Hopefully.

Thomas had told them both to take on lighter tasks here and there, though, so that’s all Minho’s been doing. He doesn’t want Thomas to feel crowded or too closely watched.

“The bread is a good idea. If he handles that well, a little jam might not be such a bad idea. Water, of course. Nothing significantly solid for a while. I’m concerned about his throat and esophagus getting damaged with all the vomiting he’s been doing. His lips and mouth are already showing signs.”

Gally nods. When she leaves, though, his shoulders slump and he lowers his head.

“Minho, how can we help him with this? It’s not something we can fight. I’m scared that he’ll start thinking it’s better not to eat again.”

“We’ll make sure he doesn’t.” Truthfully, Minho’s not sure those thoughts have really left Thomas’s mind, but he had been gaining weight and was better about eating— at least around them.

He’s not sure that there’s been a time Thomas hasn’t had those thoughts. Minho still doesn’t know the full story about what happened with the storm and the river and everything, but he knows Thomas has scars that don’t come from the Maze.

When did he make those? How old was he when he started?

Chances are, he’s never going to know the answer. He doesn’t think he wants to.

“I’m worried too. I think there’s something he’s not telling us.”

“Like what?”

“Not anything too big, but I noticed he was a little weird after Rosa visited. She might have said something to him.”

“I didn’t even notice,” Gally mumbles, likely not intending for Minho to hear. “I should have noticed.”

“Gally, you’re still healing yourself. It wasn’t a crazy difference, I just… I’ve been watching Thomas for a long time.”

Gally at least laughs at that. “Sounds creepy when you put it that way.”

“Maybe a little, but it’s true. I knew after he announced that he was going to sacrifice himself that I either wanted to strangle him for saying that or kiss him so he couldn’t. Never decided which I wanted to do more.”

“He told us he’d built the Maze and you wanted to kiss him?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t have done it. Especially not the way he did. Alby was acting all weird from the Changing, still, and Winston wouldn’t shut up. And then he goes and says he should be the one to go in, all noble-like. But then when he said why… that’s when it got really heated.”

“I don’t think anyone liked that one.” Gally agrees. “Newt was pissed.”

“Yeah, he pulled me aside later and told me to keep an eye on him. Didn’t want Thomas going off and doing it anyway because he felt guilty about it.” Minho had been kind of tempted to make Thomas stay in the Slammer so he couldn’t pull a stunt like that again, but if he’d said that to Newt, he would never have heard the end of it.

“He still does. He told me a little about it, how if he hadn’t built the Maze we wouldn’t all be here. Like a kid could control any of that.”

“He wants to save everyone.” Minho figured that out when he ran into the Maze for two people he didn’t even know. At the time, he’d just thought Thomas was an idiot, because he had also been that. But then he’d put more work in to save Alby than Minho had, and managed to keep himself alive, too. “Sometimes it works. Most of the time, it doesn’t.”

finish on ao3 or keep reading

Minho kisses him on the forehead— something he’s still trying to get used to— before he heads out for the day. Gally is learning to make bread (or trying to), so he’s going to be gone most of the day; despite rising times, he can’t risk his leg by moving back and forth a lot.

So really what Gally is going to be doing is sitting.

Thomas is left alone a lot more than he’d thought he would be. Sure, Harriet or Anya pop in every few hours, but now that he’s out of danger and healing well, they don’t have to come by as frequently. Sonya visits, too, but she’s busy running the greenhouse.

Minho left him some strawberries, but he’s not sure he wants to risk it. As horrible as throwing up in front of other people makes him feel, if he gets sick while no one’s here and hurts himself, he’s out of options.

He’ll just wait for someone to come and visit. That’s his best option. Jorge had mentioned coming again this week, if he wasn’t too busy, and he knows he’s due a session with Jamie. She’ll insist on talking about this, even if he doesn’t want to.

(He really doesn’t want to.)

“Hey, Thomas, you up for us?” Rosa knocks on the door. Frankie’s with her, probably.

Now, he doesn’t think he wants visitors anymore.

“Yeah, but I might fall asleep on you.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that!” Rosa takes the seat closest to the door— Gally’s chair, though Thomas knows he’d prefer to be able to see the door— and Frankie takes the one on the other side of the bed.

Thomas is very glad she doesn’t take Minho’s chair. Only Sonya and Minho have actually sat in it so far, and he doesn’t know why but he wants it to stay that way.

It would feel wrong to have someone other than them sit there.

“What have you been doing, all cooped up in here?”

“Reading, mostly.” Some of the WCKD files weren’t files, but books. Thomas knows he’s read some of them before, but he’s bored. “Sleeping. Eating what I can. Minho and Gally are good at keeping my mind off of things.”

“Thomas, you know they moved you, right?”

“Yes, I do.” He’s in his cabin— their cabin, now, but they haven’t actually talked about that— and not the medical cabin. “It’s perfectly fine with me. The medical cabin is smaller and I’m going to be in bed for a while, others need to use it too.”

He eats a strawberry to avoid saying anything else.

“Thomas, you don’t have to stay here.”

“Again, Rosa, I’m not scared of them. They don’t hurt me, and they’re not going to.”

He can tell that Rosa is still convinced that the bruises she’d seen, even with explanations, are from Minho and Gally.

Of course, his not being found earlier didn’t help Minho’s case at all. Maybe she’s going to try and say that Minho missed him on purpose.

As if Minho would do that.

“I mean it, Thomas. Frankie and I can handle it for you if you want.”

“No, Rosa.” He eats another strawberry.

He should really tell Minho and Gally about this, or at least Jamie.

“I know you’re trying to help, but you’re really not helping at all. If this is all you want to talk about, then leave.”

Maybe they’re good for something, though, because Thomas is on his fifth strawberry now.

“Thomas, I’m not leaving. You might be safe for now because Anya is monitoring you twenty-four/seven, but you’re not always going to be safe. If I have to, I’ll take extreme measures to make sure you are.”

Miyoko’s actually been talking to him now. Maybe he’ll tell her, and she can decide to tell Harriet and Sonya if it’s bad enough.

She used to be their leader, after all. Thomas doesn’t know what WCKD did to her, only that the others were surprised to see her alive.

He'd like to think that that means that maybe more Gladers survived than they know about, that they're safe somewhere.

“Frankie, please tell her I don’t need help.” Frankie reaches out to take his hand.

“You do, Thomas. You can’t see it yet, but we’ll help you. Even if it means we have to kidnap you and take you into the forest.”

Are they… threatening him?

That feels like a threat.

He pulls his hand away and eats another strawberry. He might get sick later, but probably not because he eats too much: the rising panic at the thought of going into the forest again isn’t going to be something he can ignore for long.

“I don’t really want to go to the forest anytime soon. If you’re going to mention that again, just leave.” He can’t force them out, he can’t even get out of bed. What is he going to do if they refuse?

He can’t do anything.

He’s helpless, and there’s probably no one close enough to hear him if he screams.

Well, if they do kidnap him, they won’t get away with it for long. Someone is always coming to check up on him.

He eats another strawberry and fumbles the bowl on purpose when setting it down.

“Are you okay? Should we get someone?” Frankie asks. He thinks she’s just going along with Rosa at this point, but he isn’t sure.

“Just tired.” Thomas has been using that excuse a lot lately. (Usually he’s not faking, either.)

“We’ll come to talk to you later, Thomas.” Frankie stands up first, and she has to pull Rosa out, but at least they’re gone.

He really has to tell Minho and Gally about this.

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mazegays · 23 days

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could've followed my fears all the way down

Chapter 23

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 24

Gally blinks the sleep out of his eyes. What woke him up?

He’s hardly slept at all since Harriet came out of the cabin and told them Thomas was alive.

Then he sees Thomas is awake, looking around, confused.

Last time he woke up— two days ago, and not for very long, according to Harriet— he was in the medical cabin.

Anya had eventually told them since they were all healthy, they could be near Thomas for longer periods of time.

“Thomas,” He calls, trying not to wake anyone else up. Carefully, he moves his chair to the empty side of the bed. “This is yours and Minho’s cabin. We thought you’d sleep better here.” There’s a bowl of applesauce, the strawberry one he made, on the table.

It’s easy to swallow, and light enough that it won’t upset his stomach.

Frypan had known. He’d known, and he’d wanted to be prepared.

Gally still doesn’t know how to thank him for that. Gally doesn’t even know how he knew, but he’s always thought that Frypan was some kind of magic.

“Here.” He feeds him a few spoonfuls. Thomas doesn’t even try to take the bowl for himself.

He’s gaunt, and his face has started peeling, but Gally’s so glad he’s alive that he doesn’t care about any of that.

“Gally?” Thomas sounds almost scared, and his voice is completely shot.

Of what? Of him?

“How mad are you?”

That makes… more sense than he thought.

Gally’s mad, yeah. But he can’t make himself stay mad when he’s looking at Thomas. Thomas, who is alive and not dead and he’s right here and he’s going to be fine.

“That you lied? Yes, I’m upset, but we spent nearly two weeks thinking you were dead, Thomas.

That kind of overshadows the anger. I know you didn’t want us to think you were dead. Talk to us next time instead of running away.”

This isn’t the best time for this talk. Thomas is falling back asleep already, and Gally doesn’t think he’ll remember it later.

Besides, he and Minho have started talking again, trying to figure out this— how they are going to work.

He’s not in love with Minho. Not how he is with Thomas.

But he could be.

He could be, and it probably won’t be as hard or scary as it seems right now.

finish on ao3 or continue reading

He wants to try, and now that Thomas is safe, they have all the time they could ever want to find themselves in each other over and over again.

Minho’s hand is significantly colder when he wakes up than it was when he went to sleep— he and Gally had ceded the mattress to the girls after an intense round of rock, paper, scissors, but they’d held hands between the chairs as they fell asleep.

No one else is awake, despite the sun highlighting Sonya’s face.

Gally’s moved to be by Thomas, still holding the bowl of applesauce.

Minho does the same, taking the bowl and setting it down before it spills. Gally wakes up, but he looks like he slept better than in the past few nights, so he doesn’t try telling him to go back to sleep.

“He’s worried we’re mad at him.” Gally whispers. “It’s the only thing he said to me before he fell back asleep.”

Sounds like Thomas.

“We’ll talk to him later.” Minho squeezes Gally’s free hand.

Thomas looks better than he did the first time he saw him like this.

“Do you think he’ll like the tree?” He asks.

Gally snorts, and it’s just a little too loud. Harriet wakes up and glares at them, but no one else reacts.

“He’ll hate it. Well, he’ll love it because it’s a spruce, but it totally messes up the plan he set up.”

“I don’t know, I was kind of hoping it could be our spot.” Minho murmurs. “Or that we could… I don’t know, move it. Once we decide where we’re going to stay.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, this cabin is bigger, but yours is more isolated. And I know Thomas likes the trees he planted out there.”

“Let me check him over for a minute, boys.” Minho hadn’t even noticed her waking up. Anya seems so certain that Thomas is out of danger, and it really does only take a few minutes.

“He’ll wake up soon.” She says, not bothering to whisper. “Sonya and Harriet went to get breakfast, I’ll be in the other room unless you need me.”

Thomas opens his eyes almost as soon as the door shuts.

“Were you faking so she would leave?” Minho asks, unable to hide his amusement.

“Maybe.” Thomas tries to push himself up. Gally catches his shoulder gently and Minho grabs a pillow off the mattress and tucks it behind Thomas’s back.

He’s thought about this a million times, what he was going to say when Thomas woke up for real.

He can’t bring himself to say any of it.

Thomas is here, he’s alive, and yes he’s a shucking idiot but he’s their idiot.

“There are some really pretty wildflowers, farther out in the forest.” Thomas whispers, like he’s not sure what to say.

“Let’s go see them together next time.” Minho says. Gally glares at him a little for it, but if Thomas wants to look at pretty flowers, then Minho is going to take him to see pretty flowers.

Gally will come anyway, he knows.

“After you heal.” Gally’s firmer than he’s willing to be right now. Maybe that’s a good thing. “And we need to talk, first.”

“Yeah. I know. I’m sorry.” Thomas watches them both carefully. “I thought— I just. I don’t know.” He signs along as he says it, and that probably means he’s done talking for now. Thomas’s voice sounds rough, but his hands are cracking and wind-burned, and signing has to hurt, too.

“Eat your applesauce, Thomas. Gally made it.” While Minho knows they have to have this conversation— for real this time, they can’t put it off again. Not the way they had before. Or something like this might happen again.

They might lose someone for real, this time.

But a little longer might be okay. It can wait until Thomas can sit up on his own, until he doesn’t sound like he’s been swallowing nails.

None of them are going anywhere anytime soon.

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