People who say the League Of Villains are right cause me physical pain. This is the same exact situation where people came out of Black Panther saying Kill Monger was right and completely ignored Nakia's existence

Medical stuff I wish cisgender people knew

Medical transition does not make someone a man or a woman. A trans woman is a woman, and a trans man is a man, regardless of what medical treatment they have or have not had. Medical treatment just makes life a hell of a lot easier for a lot of people

It is not true that 40% of trans people commit suicide. The infamous 40% statistic refers specifically to rates of suicide attempts which occur before transition. Most of these attempts fail and the person survives.

Transition vastly reduces risk of suicide attempts from 40% down to around the national average, while dramatically improving mental health, social functionality, and quality of life for those who need it.

Being trans is not classified as a mental illness by either the American Psychological Association or the World Health Organization. Gender dysphoria (in the DSM) or incongruence (in the ICD) is recognized by both as a medical condition, and transition is the only treatment recognized as effective and appropriate medical response to this condition

When able to transition young, with access to appropriate medical care, and spared abuse and discrimination, trans people are as psychologically healthy as the general public

Transition-related medical treatment is not new or experimental; it has existed for over a century

Transition-related medical care is recognized as necessary, frequently life saving medical treatment by every major US and world medical authority

Transition is the only treatment for dysphoria that has proven to be effective. Attempts to "cure" trans people, alleviating dysphoria by changing the patient victims' gender identity to match their appearance at birth (aka "conversion therapy" or "gender identity change efforts"), are such utterly worthless and actively destructive train wrecks that this "therapy" is condemned as pseudo-scientific abuse by all major medical authorities

Transition is a very individual process; not everyone needs or wants the same things

"Regret" rates among trans surgical patients are vanishingly rare, consistently found to be about 1% and falling. This 1% includes people who are very happy they transitioned, and often are still glad they got reconstructive surgery, but regret only that medical error or shitty luck led to sub-optimal surgical results. That's a risk in any medical treatment, and a success rate of about 99% is astonishingly good. And only about 6% of trans people have had reconstructive surgery, so rates of surgical regret among trans people as a whole are about 0.06%.

Transition "regret" is vanishingly rare. Of everyone who starts even the preliminary steps of transition, like trying a new name or pronouns socially, only about 0.4% eventually realize it is not right for them (see p108-111). Most realize this soon after starting transition, when physical changes are minimal or nonexistent. Many do not regret exploring transition as an option, even if ultimately it wasn't what they needed.

Hormone therapy is pretty cheap, is generally the first line of treatment most trans people get, and dramatically impacts one's appearance

Most trans people socially transition long before they get reconstructive genital surgery, if they ever get it at all. Not everyone needs or wants surgery, and even those who do need it are often unable to afford it. Genital surgery for trans women costs tens of thousands of dollars out of pocket. Surgery for trans men can cost between tens of thousands to over $100k, depending on the procedure one is getting.

25 US states currently have laws prohibiting health insurance companies from having "trans exclusion" policies, where they categorically refuse to cover medically necessary transition-related treatment. This means that a small but growing number of people are able to get treatment, including surgery, covered by insurance

When a child or adolescent transitions that does not mean they are being rushed into irreversible surgery

Transition for predolescent children is 100% social; changing hair, clothes, name, pronouns, and/or the gender they are recognized as by their family and community. No medical treatment is necessary or provided before the start of puberty

The first line of medical care for trans adolescence is puberty-delaying treatment. It is gentle, fully reversible, and has been used for decades to delay puberty in kids who would otherwise have started it too young. It does nothing but buy time, and has no long term effects

Transition-related hormone supplements do not cause serious long term health problems

Reconstructive genital surgery for both trans women and trans men can provide excellent results

Today in therapy I was talking about radqueers and how the DID community at large has turned RAMCOA into a joke. So called educators are posting dangerous information and have not deprogrammed in any meaningful way and clearly haven't even been in therapy. I seen teenagers who they themselves claim not to be in recovery yet attempt to educate then have their victim complex triggered whenever someone corrects their misinformation. My therapist said she can tell I enjoy educating and that I'd make a good educator and the thing is, I tried. But unless you garphically traumadump and make light of your trauma no one cares. Unless you portray yourself as the perfect victim and erase the ugly side of trauma everyone shuns you. It has gotten to a point where I avoid using RAMCOA as a term because I don't want to be associated with the community. Yet at the same time I find myself sympathising with majority of these people, they are mentally ill and severely traumatised teenagers with little to no support system or therapy. I can understand why they fall down these holes such as radqueer because their unhealthy beliefs are fed into, that feels good even if it is a form to self harm to encourage the feeling of needing worse trauma or different disorders. The DID community at large also pushes the competition of who has worse trauma leading people to exaggerate or make up trauma even unintentionally then feeds into the victim complex of survivors by making programming to be some fantastical mechanism when it is conditioning enforced through trauma and every 'program' is an alter(s) holding a trauma response. What also makes me angry is the harassment of radqueers, although I hate them and believe they are harming themselves and others, they are struggling and don't deserve to read graphic abuse because many of them are already survivors. They should be ignored until they are ready to change, we cannot change them because unhealthy coping mechanisms don't work like that.

People don't realise that survivors are not pretty. We have unhealthy and negatige coping mechanisms. We have done bad things to survive and many of us learned to enjoy those things as a means of survival. This isn't an excuse for abusive behaviour but it is important to understand that survivors may have programmer alters, aggressive alters, homicidal alters, nazi alter, etc. Groups who perpetrate this kind of abuse have no morals, they want communities to shun survivors because isolation is what they want. It makes me sad to have been shunned by the community who is meant to accept me, my therapist frequently comments on how hurt I am by that even if I try to pretend it doesn't bother me. All I want for people is to be truely educated and safe.

Sorry for spamming your inbox with this, but I thought this was interesting, Dr. Klinghardt is specifically mentioned.

https://quackwatch.org/related/neural/

LMAOOO that was wild, i cant believe Bella is tricking a whole bunch of people into thinking she's ill when the person treating her is Dr Fraud McFraud

"Current practitioners may inject vitamins, minerals, homeopathic medications, and/or herbal extracts. The injections are placed into scars, nerves, ganglions (nerve clusters), and/or “acupuncture meridians” claimed to be responsible for the “blockages.” 

bella has fatigue and chronic pain so she has to have ozone therapy and vitamin injections and take a year off from her career to go underground for it 💀😩girlie will do anything BUT admit that she has mental health issues, probably bc it does not feel "peculiar" enough to be uniquely hers

like one thing i dont get is how she wants to so badly be seen as "sick and suffering",, everybody overlooks Bella's victim complex,,, there are people who have cured ALL kinds of chronic conditions and illnesses using REAL alternative therapies

and i have personally noticed a major correlation between symptoms of autoimmune disease and just the kind of toll stress takes on your body,,, i have been in recovery from IBS, eczema and an eating disorder,, all things I fixed through adopting an ayurvedic lifestyle/yoga/meditation and making hard changes to my routine since my existing one was breaking my body down. i say this bc i know from direct personal experience that it IS possible to fix these things. i have experienced most of the symptoms Bella has mentioned and obviously no two people are the same and what worked for me, need not work for others but its very much possible to "cure" it. I dont understand why Bella has been dealing with very commonplace easily curable symptoms for 10+ years and thinking injecting vitamins into her bloodstream will fix them :/

For the comic love asks: 5, 8, and 14 for Simon or Vision

5 - What’s your favorite comic book sibling relationship?

the siblingism of vision simon & eric is just so much to me... there's just something in the way eric genuinely has a lot of love, genuine love, and guilt & grief surrounding his younger brother but is unable to accept that simon isn't anything less than a flawless victim of some kind that he's angry & violent when simon challenges this, but still like... has his safety & his memory as his core motivation. writers have forgotten this but i haven't.

n the fact that simon who has Not Gone To Therapy Ever recreates the kind of abusive dynamic between him & eric with vision, with him perpetuating it now... the way he is clearly struggling to divorce family with mistreating each other & the way he puts his own wants & needs before everything else because he's allowed to now, even if it permanently damages his relationship with vision. they're so ugly & messy & marvel hasn't yet rounded off all their corners in a major way in the way that i feel has sort of happened to pietro wanda & lorna, or even billy & tommy, so i love them still.

8 - Who’s your favorite artist (fanon or canon)?

answered here!

14 - What’s your favorite thing about character [x]?

casual link to my 3k essay abt simon but to reiterate, i love how bad he is at being a superhero. if he wasn't gay & anxious he'd probably be a more handsome homelander. he literally just wants to star in shitty gay dramas & occasionally get a paycheck from a big hollywood action flick but the avengers keep calling him to fight evil thor or whatever n he's over it. he borrows so many motifs off other superheroes & does what they do but worse. like he's a super inventive genius like tony but he ends up being horrible at the business side of it all & does money laundering. he ends up in a coma for 10+ years but doesn't have any of steve's impressiveness. he's strong like thor & once took on hulk in an au but has a panic attack every time someone hits him. he's got all of the internal mental illness monologues that hank pym does but he barely gets better. he's just the worse at what he does it's so funny.

what i like abt vision is how much of a cunt they are like genuinely. a good vision likes fucking with people by going thru walls & floors, and likes to monologue about their own powers before they vaporise someone. they are dramatic, bitchy, and people should be thankful they are loving & dedicate their life to protecting people because they would be the best supervillain if they went down that route. they're a big robotic ball of violence clad in primary & a radical love for other people. they protect other people, but they will also very easily & eagerly beat the shit out of someone for harming their loved ones. they deserve a big power upgrade in the modern age, btw. they were literally described as the most powerful a.i. in the world & a lot of mutants hate a.i. vehemently. WHERE ARE THEY & WHY AREN'T THEY DOING MORE THINGSSSSS anyway i want at least one villain au of vision bc while i don't want that for 616 vision i do need to have vision's powers & reach be taken to their furthest potential, also let vision start using more pronouns pls it would fix them and also piss off tom king fanboys which i need.

comics you love ask game

Yknow what? Fuck it, I’m in a petty fucking mood tonight and a certain Squidiot has decided to commit the sin of being, as usual, a terrible person to people undeserving of it, and I don’t tolerate bullshit. No one asked me to do this obviously but if you think I need permission to be a fucking bitch to people I deem worthy of such rage, that’s never stopped me before.

This bitch has the FUCKING AUDACITY to tell someone to get therapy for their “unhealthy coping mechanisms???”

Squidiot? The same clearly delusional dumbfuck who made a fucking google doc on every fucking “problematic” thing Viv has ever done? The same dumbfuck whose been such a pain in the ass to everyone on Twitter that both Viv and Morgana Ignis blocked them? The same bitch who makes long rambling near incoherent posts bitching about Viv and Helluva as if anyone beyond their braindead followers gives a fuck? The same bitch who keeps claiming they’ll leave and yet—surprise surprise—they never fucking do?

Ok I’ll be fair here, the last thing isn’t a sign of mental illness. It’s just annoying.

“Get better coping mechanisms.”

And you think you have the right to tell other people how to deal with their fucking trauma???? What the fuck is wrong with you???? Deal with your own shit before you go judging other people’s!

If your blog is any indication you have a lot of shit to unpack yourself.

Also, considering your absolutely deranged and frankly stalker like behavior towards Viv if not various crew members, I think if anyone should “get help” it’s you.

Assuming you aren’t already getting help (which doesn’t look to be doing much by the way if you are)

Like you said, you’re a trauma victim yourself. So how on earth can you be so fucking rude and basically shit on a fellow victim of abuse that was just as if not worse than your own, all because their way of dealing with their trauma isn’t to your liking? That you personally believe it causes harm?

How would you feel if someone said the same thing about your coping mechanisms?

Especially ironic considering it seems you deal with your trauma by being a major fucking cunt to people who don’t fucking deserve it.

How do you feel right now?

“Get better coping mechanisms.”

Don’t get me wrong, I can understand completely why you would want to avoid such content. I’m not a proshipper myself (in the sense that I personally don’t have those kinds of ships…unless you count oc/canon as problematic for whatever reason.) but I’m sorry, you can’t expect the internet to be a 100% super safe space where nothing ever makes you uncomfortable. That’s not realistic. It is your responsibility to avoid whatever triggers you. Block, mute, whatever you gotta do to keep your clearly struggling mental health intact. No one is here to baby you. You have to put in the effort.

To expect other people to do it for you automatically is immature and selfish.

I don’t mean that clearly struggling mental health comment as an insult btw. It’s frankly obvious to me you need some kind of help. It’s so obvious that you’re fucking miserable.

I would pity you if only you weren’t such a bitch. So intent on making everyone else as miserable as you.

That’s fucking sad dude. Dragging other people into the mud doesn’t make you any cleaner.

You say you’re leaving and all, but I know how hyperfixations work my dude, I should know, I’ve been obsessed with Hazbin (and to a lesser extent Helluva) for what’s going to be 4 years. I get the fucking rush of talking major shit on your blog is fun and all but Christ, you just sound so fucking angry. All the time. Isn’t that exhausting? I think it’s exhausting.

I know my header is tis I the werebitch but damn dude, I can only get angry so much about one thing before I stop caring at some point.

And then you say even dumber shit and suddenly I have an intense urge to tell you to go fuck yourself.

Contrary to the vibe I probably give off to the few followers that actually take the time to read this bullshit, I’m not exactly the most confrontational person irl. I’m actually quite shy in social situations and every time I fuck up even slightly in public I want to die, but I know what’s right and wrong, and this shit? Shitting on another victim of abuse because you think THEY’RE coping wrong?

That’s fucked up. That’s wrong. That’s fucking disrespectful.

Your own trauma is not an excuse to be a fucking asshole to other people.

And I have a low tolerance for bullshit. For those who claim to be righteous and yet their actions prove otherwise.

How do you fucking sleep at night? You’re so fucking convinced you’re some fucking martyr or something, that you’re helping people.

Has fucking anyone been helped by you? Or is this more for your fucking ego?

I don’t know nor do I want to know why you are who you are, there’s no excuse for this shit.

This shit is outright cruel. You’re cruel. Victimizing others will not make you feel better about yourself. Not in the long term. What you’re being is a BULLY.

I don’t respect bullies.

You treat people like shit for reasons I will never know. I understand you supposedly want to help people not suffer the way you did. But what you’re doing? Ain’t it chief. You do not help victims by bullying them into the “correct” way to handle their trauma. You’re just giving these people more trauma.

I’ll ask again. How would you feel if someone told you they didn’t like your coping mechanisms? I don’t care if it’s morally correct in your view to try and bully abuse victims into submission, or at the least dismiss their opinion because it doesn’t fit your narrative.

Rather hypocritical of you given you claim the fandom does the same thing…

I don’t like how you feel the need to “cancel” people over shit from a fucking decade ago when said person has obviously changed. I think your attitude is fucking whiny, immature and overall unpleasant. You make those long ass posts under the delusion anyone fucking cares enough about you to read through that bullshit. At least I have the decency to put my rant posts under a very specific tag that people can filter out if they so choose.

And the worst part is this whole thing will probably fly right past you.

Yeah, instead you play victim, as you always do, focusing on whatever well earned insults I’ve thrown at you instead of the actual point. Like a child. Assuming you find this of course.

And hmm…funny, what was that you said about me?

Iron. E.

Projection if nothing else.

I said what I meant and I meant what I said. If anything from the few posts I’ve made about you bothers you, maybe learn how to self-reflect on your actions instead of blaming everyone else. Like a child.

I reiterate.

Get. Better. Coping. Mechanisms.

Fix. Your. Shit.

🧨🔥~Firecracker out~🧨🔥

Obtain CPR Certification Tampa To Assist During Emergencies

Heart-lung resuscitation is a procedure used to keep people alive and avoid brain damage in the event of sudden cardiac arrest and other crises until more experienced medical personnel arrive. Maintaining blood oxygenation throughout the body and maintaining airway patency are the two main objectives of Resuscitation. Thus, obtaining a CPR Certification Tampa can be of extreme use during emergencies.

·      What is HIBI?

The most common reason for death in patients who are comatose after being revived from cardiac arrest is hypoxic-ischemic brain damage (HIBI).

·      What exactly is anoxic or hypoxic brain damage?

The brain's primary energy source, glucose, cannot be used without oxygen. If the oxygen supply is cut off, awareness will be lost within 15 seconds and brain damage will start to take place after around four minutes.

·      After CPR, do cardiac arrest survivors return to normal?

Unfortunately, the majority of people who experience cardiac arrest outside of a hospital do not recover. Complex medical issues greatly reduce the likelihood of full recovery. You must be aware that after CPR, patients are frequently gravely ill and may require additional care in an intensive care or coronary care unit to recover. After leaving the hospital, cardiac arrest survivors also suffer cognitive impairment, limited mobility, depression, and limited social interaction.

Although many people who get CPR survive, they never regain their pre-CPR state of physical or mental health. As a result, some of them would require extensive rehabilitation. However, several clinical trials discovered that patients receiving therapy had better results. In other instances, some patients experience comas from which they may not awaken or may sustain brain damage.

·      How long after the heart stops does the brain continue to function?

After cardiac arrest, the brain can continue to function for up to six minutes. The brain may survive the absence of oxygen if CPR is administered within six minutes. If CPR is not administered for six minutes, the brain starts to deteriorate.

·      What is the post-CPR survival rate?

According to a review of CPR outcomes studies, 15% on average of individuals who experience an arrest make it until hospital discharge (range: 3%–27%). Additionally, for the past several years, this long-term success rate has been consistent.

·      How long before sternum fractures heal?

Most sterna fractures heal without the need for splinting or other medical intervention. But a full recovery often takes 8 to 12 weeks.

·      How long CPR should be performed before declaring someone dead?

Verify the victim's respiration and pulse before proceeding. Two rescue breaths should be given after 30 chest compressions at a rate of 100 to 120 per minute if the sufferer is not breathing well but has no pulse. Every 2 minutes, reevaluate your breathing and pulse. In most circumstances, prolonging resuscitation efforts increases the victim's chances of surviving.

In case you want to get equipped to assist people with emergencies, reach out to us and obtain CPR Certification Tampa. Dial 813-453-9974 to know more.

not to stigmatize mental health but im always a little resentful over my friend since she manage to actually get therapy. like, idk. my other friend, my bestfriend, they had all sorts of shitty things happening to them and i havent been able to help them get therapy. sometimes they cant even move from the combination of panic attacks and chronic illness and both of us are helpless to stop it.

and me personally, have a lot of nastiness inside. but i dont think therapy could fix it. idk man but cbt wont fix the fact that for a majority of my short life i had to choose if i want to eat or pay for bus fare. therapy wouldnt make me any less angry that my dad is doomed to be a meth addicted asshole from the get go and the only thing people are willing to do to help him is to lock him up for an entire decade. breathing exercise wouldnt change the fact that i had to parent my little brother as a kid and he had to drink sugar water instead of milk when he was a toddler. like, fuck you dude. a positive attitude wouldn't erase the years eczema rot my fingers to the point that my nails were chipping off!!! therapy would not delay the climate change collapse.

and like, me and my friends, and a lot of my acquaintances, we cant get proper care because we had to lie that we're cishet. even though a lot of our traumas came from microagressions and hatecrimes. so whats the point of going to therapy if the therapist wouldn't even take care of the elephant in the room? pursuing therapy is a bet with no obvious payoff to most of us.

and then i see this girl, middle class, good grades and an immaculate appearance. she doesn't even look like she ever spent a week not showering. still in college with a part time job tutoring children but she somehow has enough money to pay for therapy, hang out at fancy cafes and becoming a coffee conniseur. she wears a hijab, she pursues higher education, and had a convential nuclear family. i can imagine a therapist looking at her and think, "oh she did everything right. poor girl just have several hormonal imbalances and a few life's tragedies in need of fixing" instead of victim blaming her for poor habits and saying that the reason she's so miserable is that she's a degenerate or a poverty stricken fuck who should have made better financial choices instead of going to therapy. she toes the line between conformity and productivity and it made her sympathetic and respected as a patient. meanwhile the worst thing that ever happen to her is that she's a victim of a toxic boyfriend.

look, im genuinely happy she gets help. im actually sorry that she had to go through an awful relationship that gave her nightmares. i dont doubt that she needs the help. im happy therapy and mental health is less stigmatized and its not her fault psychiatry still fails most people who need it. but, you understand where my resentment is coming from right? you understand why i have this ugly feelings when she gets better? its irrational, and i refuse to act up on it. but, the resentment is there. the feelings of unfairness is there.

(A letter to a friend - discussing abuse dynamics in our families and society in general).

I've always wondered why so much responsibility is placed on the victims of abuse rather than speaking the ugly truth about the perpetrators....I think you're right. You can't stop abusers from abusing.... so, what can we fix? The walking wounded....Normal people. I've always believed in equipping victims to fight back....but never understood why so much of that process sounds and feels like the blame is actually mine. How dare I allow myself to be abused! What deficiency in me made me ripe for abuse? How is this *my* mistake? I lived and loved and opened my heart, I believed, and endured, and persevered, forgave and turned the other cheek for years...and somehow that makes me mentally and emotionally weak?? For this, I am labeled. Diagnosed. Damaged goods. Sick. Mentally ill. I didn't choose to be born into an abusive family. I didn't choose to marry an abusive man. I didn't choose to join a second abusive family. I didn't choose to live in torment at my job or in a society that didn't care enough to help me. I just tried to live my life the way I was told I should! I tried to be what everyone wanted me to be! I did the work. I went to the hospital, did years and years of therapy. I worked my ass off and recovered myself from 25 years of hell. I sought to hold myself accountable - and that’s exactly what I had to do to recover. I sought to hold the people who abused me accountable - only to be told again and again for decades that *I* was the problem....or, that I would just have to accept more abuse if I wanted to stay in this family. I did everything RIGHT!!!.....So, how am I the one left holding the bag of sorrows and disappointments, and accumulated grief and fears?? This whole thing feels like a setup....like a sham. And often, I wish I'd never been born into a this family.... because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have suffered for the majority of my life. Because that has done more damage to my mental health than anything else I've experienced in 43 years of life. I was trained to believe this kind of treatment was NORMAL....and worse, that this suffering was just a part of life. And I have lived under the heavy and ridiculous burdens of being fully convinced by society that MY RESPONSE TO THE ABUSE was and is the problem. An actual diagnosable problem! Yet nobody seems to be interested in rescuing or delivering ourselves from it. For a while, I stopped fighting back. I stopped bucking. I stopped being furious with all of them and became grief-stricken with *myself*....with my perceived failures to comply, to submit, to grow, to mature and develop proper character, and fully surrendered servant status. I beat myself up. I did their job for them! And isn't that the epitome of an abuser's success?? When they no longer even have to touch you or oppress you....because you repress yourself. You learn to anticipate. You adapt. You compensate. You hide who you really are and what you really feel. You speak and act as expected. You just cope with the writhing rebellion inside you. You quiet your self-awareness and autonomy. You live in self-preservation mode. You smile. You speak. You go through the motions. You meet their demands. You try not to make too many waves....because you know there are consequences. You withdraw from reality....and you do it all just to SURVIVE!! But since when does that mean that I AM THE BROKEN ONE?? Who decided this is WEAKNESS instead of great, excruciating, super-human STRENGTH?? Who would want to take that away and twist it up and turn it around to hand it back to me misshapen into more BLAME? I have no idea....and I just do not understand it. I am not ILL....I survive in the harshest conditions known to women and womanhood. And it's insulting and harmful to keep being told "You need help." NO, I NEEDED HELP....and it never came. It was withheld from me. It was denied me. And now they want to say I hurt myself just as much as my abusers did?? No. I refuse to accept that. I did everything I could to have a normal life. I did not fail. Those who insisted they love me failed. And failed miserably!

All the basics about physiotherapy.

For individuals of all ages, it is a good kind of therapy, since it helps to alleviate discomfort and encourages a tranquil recovery.

Physiotherapy has a wide range of specialties.

Physiotherapists are medical specialists that focus on the treatment of musculoskeletal disorders and have received extensive training in this field. Chronic illnesses like arthritis and respiratory difficulties are also included in the scope of this therapy's use in a variety of specialties, including critical care, mental health, neurology, as well as strokes.Best Massage on The Gold Coast is the best.

Some physiotherapists devote their leisure time to working pro bono at hospitals as well as the community-based free clinics as part of a multidisciplinary team. The majority of sports clubs and private hospitals provide these kinds of services. Bulk Billing Physio will help you.

The systems of the body that this therapy cures.

A physiotherapy clinic may help you cope with a wide range of physical health issues, and they do so by connecting them to further the body's systems. Our body's musculoskeletal structure is one of the many systems that may be affected by stress. Neuromuscular as well as cardiovascular systems govern the human brain and nerve system, respectively. One of the most crucial parts of our bodies, the respiratory system, contains the organs that allow us to breathe.Dry Needling is a great therapy.

What exactly do physiotherapists do?

Individuals in need of physiotherapy treatments may rely on institutions maintained by experts in the field. Movement and exercise may be used to treat pain, illness, and perhaps even paralysis in many of these locations.Miami Physio is indeed excellent.

Patients' present fitness, mental health, as well as physical health are all taken into consideration as physiotherapists work methodically to meet each patient's unique needs. In order to alleviate the pain and stiffness that you are experiencing in your muscles, you may want to attempt some manual therapy methods. By doing so, you're promoting blood circulation and increasing blood flow to the wounded area. You can easily rely upon Physio Bundall.

Aquatic treatment is a unique and revolutionary kind of physiotherapy. Several more procedures are used to assist alleviate a patient's discomfort throughout the procedure. Clients may benefit greatly from the use of heat, cold, and acupuncture as well as other approaches.

This kind of therapy may be used for both preventive and therapeutic purposes. A therapist may be seen without a reference from a doctor. As part of their physical treatment, you may be confident that you'll be able to sit, walk, or even handle a pen again in no time.

Physiotherapy has been shown to help those with more serious health conditions, such as speech impairment, memory loss, and even bladder control disorders. In essence, the method physicians rehabilitate stroke victims is through retraining muscles to actually do their fundamental actions. The level of your discomfort will determine how long it will take you to heal from your injury

If you got your car stolen, sure you might be able to afford a new one if you have the money but what if they stole someone with the luxury to buy a new one? It doesn’t fair that someone can’t be prevented from stopping and hurting people. It’s still traumatic to have your belongings stolen. I’m not saying you should ultimately report them, but it’s not fair that the situation happens to you and you can’t do anything about it

I think this is a misrepresentation of my position on this issue- my fault for not being clearer. I absolutely think that we should prevent people from hurting others, and that we should be able to do something about it when property crime occurs. But we need to be thoughtful about what we do and if it will cause further harm to occur. And that's why I think restorative justice programs are important. They offer more options for what we can do and how we can prevent further harm from occurring.

Right now, the option is kind of a binary: one option is that you don't call the police, and the other option is that you call the police and the person risks being arrested. I think that if a person calls the police and the perpetrator of the property crime is arrested, it creates more harm than it prevents because of that arrest. That person now loses some amount of time to prison, they may develop mental illness, trauma, or maladaptive coping skills while in prison, and their ability to become employed once they're released will become severely restricted, which increases the likelihood that they'll re-offend. if they have a family, their family may be losing a major source of financial support, which in turn increases the likelihood that their family will engage in crimes of poverty as well. You might think that trade-off is worth it. But for me, I can't in good conscience do that to someone, even if it means I have to take public transportation for the rest of my life. Again, I totally agree with you- it's unfair that these are the only two options available. But when we're making decisions about what we're going to do after a crime occurs, it's important that we consider these factors as well.

Under a restorative justice program, we could have more options available for what happens after a crime occurs. For example, the perpetrator could compensate the victim for their loses plus extra for emotional damages. The perpetrator could be put into a program that helps them achieve financial stability, so that they don't have a financial need to steal things. The perpetrator could be put into a therapy program if they need to work through issues such as drug addiction (a big reason why people steal to begin with). It's just not necessary to punish a person so severely for a crime that's generally committed out of desperation.

Fully to be controversial, but I think the code of silence should FULLY apply to minors as well unless THEY CHOOSE otherwise.

Here me out, here me out. There's plenty of kids who have parents who want to help them, and that is a good thing. But there are also countless children who refuse to tell their therapist that they've cut themselves because their therapist then has to tell the parents. There's kids who don't tell their therapist about that time they were sexually assaulted by a male teacher when young, because then the parents know and are not at all helpful with it, are going to blame the kid. Not all parents are going to be very supportive or helpful when they learn their kid has been hurt, be it by themselves or others - some will overreact violently, call their kid a pussy, call them a school shooter in the making, or straight up make it worse. (in case you can't tell, this is also me venting.)

(it's even worse when the PARENTS are the ones the kid is telling their therapist about. Most of the time, if the parents learn that their child/victim was telling this to the therapist that "tHeY pAy FoR", they'll only up their abuse as punishment.)

Especially in cases where self harm and mental illness is involved, the vast majority of parents aren't going to be able to help, and will therefore take ALL the wrong approaches to it. For instance, in my own case, I was originally sent to a therapist NOT BECAUSE I WAS SUICIDAL OR DEPRESSED, NO NO NO, but because I had failed to communicate a date of an event to my parents with a long notice. They COMPLETELY failed to get me help when I needed it, but only gave it to me when it caused THEM and inconvenience. Then, when I was in therapy, I knew I COULDN'T actually vent about my real problems, because my parents would find out, and they would panic, blame me, call me a school shooter in the making for cutting up my arms, put me in a mental hospital, any of that shit. So I kept a lot of it inside - even though therapy was supposed to make it better -and I have to this day.

I can't be the only one in a situation like that. Parents aren't miracle workers. Hell, plenty of them aren't even good parents. A lot of the time, kids don't want their parents to know their problems because they'll make them worse. You know, how could they understand? How can they help you work through a complex problem when they barely see you as being capable of making your own decisions?

So...if kids want their parents to know their problems, they should be able to tell them, absolutely. But if a minor or teen is in a situation where telling the family makes it worse, DONT FORCE CHILDREN TO KEEP THEIR SECRETS EVEN MORE BECAUSE THEIR FUCKING THERAPIST HAS TO TELL THE PARENTS CERTAIN THINGS. LET THE KID CHOOSE WHAT THEY WANT THEIR FAMILY TO KNOW WHEN IT'S SERIOUS ENOUGH TO DISCUSS WITH A THERAPIST! THE THERAPIST SHOULD BE ABLE TO HELP THEM AWAY FROM THE PARENTS.

oh yeah that absolutely bothers me too, like Lauren DID write a character who has very obvious privilege and is seen multiple times using it and it's Sam, but we're not ever supposed to question that because she's Good and Always Uses It Good. and then she tries to draw all these parallels between Sam and Damien and their backstories which falls totally flat because Sam lost her parents to a car crash at 16 while being filthy fucking rich and therefore having a ton of societal support that allowed her to live comfortably and enabled her to essentially not leave her house (which allowed her to do the Good Pure Trauma Survivor thing of Avoiding People, something Damien actively could not do if he wanted to like. not die in a gutter of exposure and starvation), whereas Damien was deliberately abandoned by his parents much younger (making him a survivor of profound childhood neglect) and with nothing but his ability to survive with and absolutely no social or societal support whatsoever and these are completely fucking different situations that would obviously have different effects on people but also it just solidifies how much privilege Sam has and how we're just not supposed to think about that lmao

i exaggerate a lot of my disdain for Shippen's choices for TBS but i will straight up admit i hate the whole Good Victim horseshit. very often i will see depictions of trauma and grief and mental illness where the characters meant to portray those qualities are essentially sad chew toys that the audience can quietly 'awww' at, and any mention of poor reactions to said issues the character might have aren't mentioned because they're too 'ugly'. it shows a side of our humanity we don't like to think about, that we could have done nothing wrong, but because of something that happened in our past or in our brains, we can develop personality defects that make us cause others harm- even deliberately.

i think one aspect of why people hate on Damien so much is because he represents that, he -just like the vast majority of people- did what he thought best given his knowledge and circumstances, and he ended up making tons or enormous mistakes that hurt both himself and others. people like Shippen will insist that he just needs to 'try harder' to be a good person, but that's not really how that works. what is a good person? what does it mean to be a good person? how does one become 'good'? these are ideas that we develop throughout our childhood, with great guidance from our teachers and peers and parents. if your perception of reality is warped, if your guides are misspoken or absent, your concept of these ideas too will be misinformed, warped, or under-developed. it's scary to think that a person could have done their best but because of circumstances just come out like shit, people want to believe they either do have or can have control over their life, including if they're 'good'. this isn't to say that free will is meaningless, just that is more to being 'good' than just telling someone try harder at being good.

the Good Victim stuff isn't necessarily a poor representation of what can happen in life, i've certainly met some very sweet, traumatized people at my job, however, to say that is the only way to be good, to say you can only experience and express your pain in a certain way to be good is very upsetting. people lash out when they're hurt. they do ugly things to make others hurt before they think you'll hurt them. they force people to be at their side because they don't know how to ask -or even how to have trust in another that they'll do what they say. an abuse survivor could try to seek out therapy, or they could avoid it because every interaction in their life has told them that if you tell people things about yourself- they'll just use them against you later. it's their choice to make, and the 'right' one that might seem obvious to us might, to them, seem to be the worst thing they could do for themselves.

Samantha had a traumatic childhood, never knowing when she would be taken from her loved ones when her emotions got the better of her. her parents, from her recount, seemed very loving and she was definitely more well off than the majority of the world. by the point she lost her parents to the car crash(from her perspective, by her own fault) she was late into her childhood, 16, and had just enough guidance at that point to have her own well-developed answers for what 'good' is, even if she didn't know just yet how to quite pursue it. she had the the resources and support to pursue just about anything she wanted, it was only a matter of overcoming her own insecurities.

Robert, by his very first memories, had his whole reality warped by his ability. his parents catered to him at a very young age, and followed all his wishes up until the moment they abandoned him when he was 13 years old. whether or not they loved him, we will never know because of the nature of his ability. we know from his accounts in A Neon Darkness that they had a corn farm, so from that we can assume they were fairly well off, but not so well of that they didn't worry about money. we know he's from Nebraska which seems to have a decent education system, and we know he attended school for a while after, but with an ability like his that literally warps the behavior and words of those around him w/out him even having to think about his own want, whose to say how faithful that education was? needless to say, Robert's concepts of 'goodness' are completely underdeveloped. that he didn't come out a complete psychopath is nigh a miracle.

the issues that plagued Damien in his childhood followed him into his adulthood, because until he loses his ability, he's working with the same data he's been given his whole life. no wonder he's such a bookworm, even slice of life stuff must seem like fantasy to him. Samantha already had a head start in her childhood, but as she became and adult and attended therapy, she was gradually able to expose herself to new data that guided her on how to master her ability and cope with her anxiety disorder. Damien's ability robbed(heh. Rob.) him of the ability to develop. it's described as a poison but i think rather than degrading him, it's put him in this perverse homeostasis where he never grows because he doesn't know 1.) how to change 2.) what he even needs to change 3.) why he should change, even if he wants to, as he clearly so desperately does.

to say his issue is that he just hasn't "tried hard enough" like Sam or Caleb is just insulting, and i'm sure triggering for anyone who's heard those exact words from their own teachers and parents. he's been put in this impossible situation, made to act realistically, and then blamed for it, over and over again. even in his letter in Some Faraway Place, as much as i loved it, it read's as Damien finally blaming himself too, just like how literally everyone else in the series has, and now it's his turn.

INFJ. Processing past Fe failures. Want to get better at socializing / having deeper relationships/friendships. Muddling through Ti development - desiring to get better at self-awareness + communication. A lot in my brain and it'd be a lot to share the entirety of recent exchanges that have ended up in failed relationships, so I'll try asking this and hope it's enough to get critical thinking help from you, thank you much in advance. (1/2)

[con't: I notice a pattern of me trying to communicate and express myself to be understand by, or be emotionally met by Fi users, and them responding by saying things like "I don't know what you want from me", "I don't know how to help you," "I'm sorry you feel that way" or them even saying variations of "Maybe you're not used to my communication style" (ENTJ) if I express that I feel dismissed, uncomfortable, or disrespected.

This isn't ALL Fi users thank God & I'm in therapy now to address my downplaying of my emotional needs, being willing to work through anything even though the romantic relationships I'm attracting are woefully incompatible or unhealthy. But I want to get better at doing my part to increase the chance of relationships building. What am I doing/expecting/judging in my communication with Fi users so they respond that way or has me feeling being unseen/misunderstood? Is it the basic INFJ recs?]

You point to Fi specifically. Fi doesn't require outside validation, so perhaps what you're encountering is their lack of concept of outside validation, in the manner that you're seeking it with Fe.

All of those example statements sound like they could be taken sincerely. "I don't know what you want from me" could be an opportunity for you to better explain what you need/want. "I don't know how to help you" could be an opportunity for you to provide better instructions. "I'm sorry you feel that way" could be a helpless admission that the two of you don't see things the same way. "Maybe you're not used to my communication style" could be an indication that there is a need to investigate the big gap between what was perceived and what was actually intended.

Not everyone is going to see eye-to-eye with you, not everyone is going to agree with your version of events, not everyone is going to care about your needs and feelings enough to address them kindly and patiently. This should all be okay with you unless you were walking around expecting everyone out there to have the capacity to meet you emotionally or validate your emotions (unhealthy Fe)? That's simply not gonna happen, so it's an unreasonable expectation. That's why it's so important that YOU be the first to take care of yourself and own your emotions, set proper personal boundaries, and navigate interpersonal boundaries more gracefully.

If you feel someone has violated your boundary (i.e. you feel hurt by them), the answer isn't to violate theirs in return. You're trying to fix a problem in the relationship, so further damaging the relationship isn't going to help. Whether you are right to feel hurt is not the main issue. Feelings themselves are always true and tell you something true about you. However, what you DO about the feelings isn't always right. There are two main ways people deal with negative feelings: 1) bottle them up, which amounts to self-harm, or 2) express them, which opens up the possibility of doing harm to others, if they don't have the means to process your feelings. Neither way is ideal.

If your main approach is to expect people to change (when they can't or don't want to), expect them to give you more than they are capable of giving (due to not having the means or resources), expect them to understand something that they are not really capable of understanding (when they just don't think in the same way as you), etc, your expectations are easily perceived as "demands". You're essentially pressuring people to be what you want them to be, which amounts to dishonoring them and violating their boundary. This approach is usually met with submission or resistance. If they submit to you (because they care for you), they will be unhappy for having allowed you to violate their boundary, and the problem will recur because it was only swept under the rug. If they resist you, conflict ensues, and the relationship bond will be tested and possibly threatened, especially if the conflict recurs without resolution.

There is a way to honor your feelings while also honoring others' feelings. It requires you to have good emotional intelligence and be a good communicator. Good emotional intelligence means respecting your feelings and taking full responsibility for them. Instead of seeing yourself as the victim (i.e. "you made me feel this way"), you see yourself as an agent with the power to decide what is best (i.e. "I feel this way and this is what I should do about it"). Positioning yourself as a passive or helpless victim means that you cast blame and eventually demand reparations. Positioning yourself as an active and influential agent means that you survey the situation objectively and then try to act in the best interests of everyone involved. This is what healthy and confident Fe should look like.

For example, when you feel dismissed, maybe you bottle it up for awhile, until you can't take it anymore (because the problem remains unaddressed). Then you confront people and say, "I feel dismissed". This implies that the other person has done something bad to you. You are the victim, which puts them on the spot, feeling like the bad guy, and then they can't hear you, due to becoming too preoccupied with not wanting to be the bad guy. Communication is likely to stall there, unless they have the wherewithal (emotional intelligence) to keep their focus on you and your concerns.

Instead, you could say to yourself, "I feel dismissed". You take full responsibility for your feelings and validate them for yourself. When you are good at validating your own feelings and emotions (something you admit you really struggle with), you'll eventually find that you won't need to rely on others to do it for you.

What does it mean to feel dismissed? It means that you believe you're not being taken seriously, or something to that effect. Not very difficult to understand. What to do about it? The feeling of disharmony is a message to you that you have to do more to advocate for yourself and make space for yourself within the relationship/group (it is good Fe advice). There are many ways to advocate for yourself without stepping on others. If you choose the right way, in terms of honoring everyone involved, the feeling of being dismissed will dissipate naturally. If you choose the wrong way, in terms of honoring yourself but dishonoring others, you'll encounter the problem again, because you haven't addressed the underlying problem of you positioning yourself as the victim in every relationship conflict. Chronic victim mentality is often an indication that you depend too much on outside validation of your self-worth.

Unless you are stuck in a very toxic social environment, the majority of people are not malicious for no reason. Before accusing or blaming, are you absolutely certain that they INTENDED to dismiss you? If not, wouldn't it be wise to gather more info? For instance, you could ask something like, "Have you had the time to give my idea serious consideration?" No blaming, no battling, no victim-victimizer dynamic. Do you understand how communicating without blame, through genuine inquiry, avoids trapping the both of you in a vicious cycle of seeking emotional reparations? You give people the benefit of the doubt. You give people the chance to clarify or explain. You give yourself the chance to grasp the FULL picture so that you can make a more informed decision about what to do (based on their response to your question). But this presence of mind isn't possible when you can't accept your feelings/emotions and they run wild as a result.

One common misapplication of Ti is the tendency to jump to illogical conclusions or make up illogical stories about what is motivating people's negative behavior, all the while believing that you're being completely logical. It's a destructive way to deal with negative or disharmonious feelings. Once the false narrative infects your mind, you can't help but perceive the person as attacking you, even when they're not. This misuse of Ti is a major impediment to relationship building.

The problem with victim mentality is that you are hyperfocused on your perspective only, so you only have half the picture, which means making ill-informed decisions. If you are prone to Ti loop, you need to get to the bottom of why you're so quick to position yourself in the passive position of victim. A healthy relationship should be an equal partnership based on trust, which means that you should always try to 1) give people the benefit of the doubt, and 2) gather the facts of the situation before drawing a conclusion about what they intended or what kind of character they are.

If the fact of the matter is that the person really doesn't care about your feelings, then you know not to seek validation from them, and perhaps distance from them for your own good. Don't play around in toxic or abusive relationships. If the fact of the matter is that your perception of the situation doesn't match up with what they intended to say/do, then it's up to you to straighten out the situation in your mind before proceeding.

Trust your feelings, validate your feelings, but don't act blindly on them (i.e. without fully grasping what's happening with the other person). Figure out why exactly you're feeling what you're feeling, then take it up with the person in a way that addresses the root of the problem and in a way that doesn't immediately put them on the defensive. Conflict is sometimes unavoidable, but being more skilled at communicating your concerns will certainly reduce the amount of pain required to reach a resolution.

I'm trying to write a character who gets depression/anxiety after a few days of torture, but I'm worried that from an outside perspective the tiredness, lack of interest, and hyper vigilance are going to look like the character has been beaten down into meekness/compliance by the torture. Any advice on how to avoid the trope that this character was broken by their expeience when most days they're too tired to argue about anything and are slowly checking out of life due to the depression?

That’s a really good question. I think the best thing to do is combine several different approaches rather then relying on one particular thing.

 My first piece of advice holds true for writing any kind of minority experience. If you think you could be suggesting that an entire group has a particular feature/characteristic include another character from the same group who doesn’t. The more characters you have who are torture survivors the easier it is to show that they’re a diverse bunch with different symptoms and experiences.

 They don’t need to be major characters. They don’t need to be in the story for very long. But having them there makes a big difference.

 This is a lot easier if you’re talking about legally defined torture in a prison of some kind. But if that’s not the kind of story you’re telling consider bringing other survivors in during the character’s recovery. They could meet people while waiting to see the same doctor or mental health professional. They might be advised to join a group, either for group therapy or communal support. They might meet people while looking for financial support or jobs. If they’re religious they might be introduced to people through their priest or broader religious community.

 The next thing worth thinking about is: what can your character practically do?

 We have this tendency to conflate resistance with big, obvious, violent acts. Most of the time torture victims are not in a position to do that kind of thing. And in situations where people are held for a very long time (ie slavery, prisoner of war camps etc) what you tend to see are a lot of smaller or less obvious acts. Enslaved people did oppose slavery violently, with organised military action and with smaller acts of violence like poisoning slave owners.

 But they also did a host of other things. They sabotaged equipment or products they were supposed to produce. They broke valuable objects. They provided each other with material support and aid. They escaped and set up separate societies. They channelled resources into these societies. They aided others in escape attempts.

 It’s always worth thinking about what your character can actually practically do and what the risks or consequences of those actions might be.

 I talk about that in a post over here. Characters can take meaningful action even when they can’t take effective action. It’s worth taking the time to think about what would be meaningful to this character and figure out ways to show them prioritising it.

 It’s also worth considering what depression and anxiety can look like because yes, the features you describe are common in people with depression and anxiety. But they’re not necessarily constant and they’re not the only ways these conditions manifest.

 Depression can look like sleeping all the time. It can also look like not sleeping and a lack of sleep feeds into anxiety. Insomnia also causes paranoia after a while, makes it harder to interpret other people’s responses and can increase the risk of violent behaviour.

 Similarly depression can look like eating a lot, but it can also look like nausea, like being unable to eat full meals and struggling to keep food down. From the outside anxiety can be read as fear but it can also be read as aggression.

 It wouldn’t be unrealistic for this character to be more depressed at times and more anxious at others. It wouldn’t be unrealistic for them to be incredibly sleep deprived, paranoid and less able to see the risk in something like… spitting on a guard some days even if they’re generally incredibly tired, lethargic and apathetic.

 Basically even if this is the predominant way depression and anxiety manifest in this character there’s still leeway. There’s still moments when you can have them go against that. Even if it isn’t very often.

 The choice to use an outside perspective does make things harder. Especially if that perspective is a character who believes these kinds of tropes and has a poor understanding of mental health. One way to get around this is to have the point of view character’s perspective change with time and have them come to (and lead the audience to) the conclusion that they were wrong.

 But the character doesn’t need to reach that realisation if you work in enough signals to the reader that they’re unreliable. One way to do that is to contrast what the point of view character thinks with what the survivor character actually says and does.

 Let’s say the point of view character is having a conversation with another person who isn’t a survivor and they present the survivor as this sad case, broken by what they experienced because of a specific behaviour. Like sleeping a lot or being listless or not engaging with things in the way they used to.

 On it’s own that scene could easily back up these tropes (though it’s not an unrealistic scene because these tropes are commonly believed.) So let’s imagine the scene with the survivor’s response.

 They could respond that they sleep a lot because they have chronic pain or because their depression makes it hard to eat properly which leaves them exhausted. Physical symptoms like that are often easier for people to understand and it underlines the point that this is illness not some state where they’re permanently incapable. They can also respond with the steps they’re taking to try and make their life better. For chronic pain in torture survivors that can mean medication or physiotherapy. Perhaps they’re working on changing their diet or the schedule they eat at and sleep at, to work around these physical limits.

 You can apply the same kind of logic to the other points here, talk about why depression makes the character listless or stops them engaging and what they’re doing now. The aids that help them focus, how therapy is going, the new hobbies they’re exploring instead (perhaps because old ones contain triggers.)

 It’s harder to apply the same thing if the character is still imprisoned and still being tortured. But you can still do it. May be the dreams and plans the victim character had before seem meaningless now, but there will still be things they want to do and there will still be things they find meaning in.

 May be they don’t think they can be a Nobel prize winning doctor any more and may be to an outside perspective that looks like ‘broken’. But it’s harder for the audience to agree with that conclusion if the victim character is saying ‘My priorities are different now. I regret spending so much time working and I miss my family. If I get out I want to make them my focus instead of work.’

 A self aware character might be able to say ‘I don’t think I could achieve that dream anymore. But I think I could achieve this instead.’

 You can have other characters, doctors, psychologists or anyone who has worked with survivors for a long period, refute the idea these people are broken. Hurt, yes, but that doesn’t mean they’re incapable of living or of living well.

 If the perspective is more of an omnipresent narrator you’ve got more scope to show little acts of resistance the character might be engaging in. You’ve also got more scope to just straight up tell the readers what’s going on in this character’s head.

 It’s worth stressing that characters like this do still have and make choices. They are choices in incredibly awful situations and they are not free choices. But that capacity to choose is still there. And there are understandable, though not always rational, thought processes behind those choices.

 Depression doesn’t always mean checking out of life. I’ve known a fair number of people with depression who kept going with things they considered important. They just also… got no enjoyment out of it. They were miserable and in pain. But they were still trying to do the best they could for their kids or finish their degree. These efforts weren’t always successful. Depression makes most things more difficult.

 But a character willing to give up on themselves isn’t necessarily willing to give up on other things.

 At the end of the day the symptoms you choose for your character and how those symptoms manifest isn’t the problem. There’s nothing wrong with picking the symptoms that are right for your character and there’s nothing wrong with writing them in this way.

 The problem comes when we start telling people that there’s no hope, that nothing gets better. It comes when we imply that natural, physiological reactions to trauma are somehow the fault of the victim or that those reactions mean they are forever controlled by their abuser.

 Torture is an awful, effecting and life changing experience. It leaves lasting wounds.

 But humans are incredibly resilient, stubborn creatures. Our capacity for survival, to find ways to live well, is astounding.

 There’s room for optimism here and it’s worth making space for that in your story.

 I hope that helps :)

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Lone star better square the hell up if they think we are just gonna accept this lame ass apology from Owen. It’s not nearly enough and the real apology that TK deserves. He has probably lived with this relationship with Owen his entire life or at least majority of it and that’s so sad. He seems so used to this that he just sat back and continued on with the intervention. I know that comment still hurts TK because of how he even brought it up. They need to circle back to this because I’m genuinely wondering what it’s gonna take for Owen to actually act like a good father. Loving your kid isn’t enough- you actually have to actively try to be a good parent. As in- remember they exist even when TK isn’t hurt or something. As in, don’t twist things around and play victim. All TK does is love his dad and yeah he gets frustrated with Owen because who wouldn’t but he still is always there. Owen straight up acted like TK didn’t exist when he thought Gwyn’s baby was his. He only said he would schedule the surgery because ‘he’s gonna be a dad’. He only jumps into father mode when TK was shot and kidnapped. Every other time??? It’s like oh TK is mad at me that’s why he is being a paramedic now. Like dude have you ever stopped to think that maybe it’s not all about you? He just wanted the switch to the paramedic job because he likes it. These little moments add up and make me wanna yell at Owen FOR tk

anon, we are in agreement. god, I want to get tk by the shoulders and tell him that owen’s bullshit is absolutely not his fault and he has done way more than should have been expected of him. then id like to slap Owen upside the head and frogmarch him into therapy. very regular therapy.

you’ve brought up a lot of interesting things here so im going to stick most of my thoughts under a cut.

ultimately I think that the things that underscore the problems of TK and Owen’s relationship are Owen’s inconstancy and unreliability. I think theres a decent splash of narcissism in there too, which leads to him pressuring and gaslighting people, unloading his problems on random people, making himself the victim in any given confrontation, and also his misguided heroism stunts. but the root of him and TK having a fractured relationship comes from TK being unable to rely on Owen. (and hoo boy does that make me emotional about the fact that TK finally has someone he can completely rely on with Carlos)

so your first point:

this lame ass apology from Owen

honestly there were two weak apologies that stuck out to me - the first being the one during the intervention about Owen ‘going to be a father’ - yay, acknowledgment - but TK deserves an proper apology, one that doesn’t feel offhand, and not when Owen feels pressured by the environment. im sure im not the only one that felt that comment was disingenuous - it didnt feel at all like Owen actually felt sorry, or understood the damage he’d done. and then again in the vets - it felt pointed to me that TK had to confirm Owen was still going to go through with the surgery after buttercup turned out to be okay. he understandably doesn’t trust Owen to hold himself to his promises, even one he made in the last five minutes, and I think that reflects on how he views the apologies - if Owen can flip back and forth on promises about his own health, what’s stopping him from giving insincere apologies?

He has probably lived with this relationship with Owen his entire life or at least majority of it and that’s so sad. He seems so used to this

yeah I think you’re absolutely right - I think everything about their relationship, including TK’s anxieties about Owen’s unreliability, stem from him feeling left behind during his childhood (something I talked about a lot here - I wrote that a few months ago but I stand by a lot of it). and those anxieties really came out this ep because Owen keeps being incredibly inconstant this season. (not inconstant as in inconsistent characterisation, inconstant as in an unreliable character)

something I mentioned in some of my tags yesterday (and that I want to really dive into more specifically at some point) was the emotional labour that I suspect TK has had to shoulder in order to maintain their relationship. Owen has been this consistently absent figure, so TK has worked himself into Owen’s work life to be physically close to him, but Owen’s emotional distance has meant TK has taken up the emotional work too in order to maintain their relationship, and that has kind of allowed them both to pretend to themselves that they have a good relationship, with much more of the strain of maintaining that facade falling on TK.

Loving your kid isn’t enough- you actually have to actively try to be a good parent.

everything you said here. absolutely. loving someone does not equal having a healthy relationship with them, and TK and Owen definitely dont have that. TK is evidently so hyper aware of how much Owen has ignored him when it suits him - it kills me to see the way that comment about being a father has obviously been eating at him for weeks - and I really hate how controlling Owen gets when TK is in danger, but then is so utterly absent when TK’s in a good place, or even bitter and hostile when TK makes positive choices for himself. again, I talked about this in detail in this post - basically, Owen has major control issues and dude needs therapy.

don’t twist things around and play victim.

oh man, this shit pissed me off. like, I get that the subjects of interventions often have hostile reactions, but gaslighting Mateo after pressuring him into drinking and emotionally unloading on him? holy shit Owen, no. and making himself to be the victim of situations that have nothing to do with him, like TK becoming a paramedic or oversharing to the vet and the kid sitting on the roof. like, I understand that mental illness can lead you to taking shitty actions, but it still makes them shitty actions.

They need to circle back to this because I’m genuinely wondering what it’s gonna take for Owen to actually act like a good father.

yeah! I dont know what to think about this in the show, because knowing the way the show heroises Owen, I don’t know whether they’ll feel that they need to address it further than those pathetic apologies. that said, we’ve got Owen and this arson case next week and there does seem to be a tone that shows Owen as an idiot, and frames him as wrong for going against the rules and trying to sneak into a crime scene. if im right, then there would be scope for this to be an overall arc of Owen learning to become self aware and understand that he is not the centre of the universe. I just hope the show bothers to do that.

in the immortal words of Michelle Blake: Owen, get a therapist!