#the house not letting go of her bc it stores and remembers everything she herself is incapable of remembering !!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

raysofcrosby · 2 years

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Can you give us a blurb about Matt being psycho over protective during care’s pregnancy with Scarlett? Like I can see him being so over the top with unnecessary concern about everything and starts trying to not let her do anything. She might be endeared at first but she (and even Ethan eventually) quickly gets annoyed.

it's funny that you sent this bc there's actually a moment in the third bonus chapter (the pregnancy one) where in the late second trimester, you see matt being super protective and he's teamed up with ethan too so that when he's away, ethan's like his little spy! so i'll just give you a sneak peek of that instead 🥰

beneath the cut is a sneak peek of bonus chapter #3 – two pink lines

She was starting to think she was going crazy. She knew she filled up her coffee mug this morning before dropping Ethan off at school– she could close her eyes and actually see herself pouring it and making it...and yet, her entire cup was empty. Caroline didn't remember spilling it at any point in the car when she went to drop Ethan off at school or even on herself as she made her way into her back into the apartment this morning, so why was there absolutely no coffee left?

It wasn't even just the coffee either. She could've sworn that she had just bought more cheese for lunch sandwiches, it was even on the receipt she had dug out of her purse to prove to herself she had– and yet it was nowhere to be found.

Unless she was mixing up her days of making coffee and she had just forgotten to grab the bag at the grocery store with the cheese in it.

Which is exactly why she had called out of work, deciding that maybe she just needed to take an off day and let both her body and her brain relax. There wasn't much to do around the house, Ethan was pretty helpful with keeping it clean, especially since she was pregnant and Matt was gone from time to time.

In fact...he was pretty helpful with everything. Helping her do dishes, make dinner, pack their lunches. Not saying that he wasn't a helpful kid, because he's always been...but it's been almost suspicious how quick he is to get off of his iPad or out of his chair when doing homework whenever she walked into the kitchen. Almost like he was up to something.

"I'm home," Matt called out, closing the door behind him and walking into the living room where she was lounging on the couch. "How are you feeling? Do you need to see a doctor? Do you have a fever? Is there–"

"I'm fine, Matty," she laughed, taking a deep breath and rubbing her hand down her bump, sighing. "We're fine. I'm just a little tired is all. Just because I needed a break, doesn't mean something is instantly wrong."

"I know, I know," he replied, sitting down beside her. "I just don't want you to get super stressed about anything."

"I'm growing a human inside of me, of course I'm going to be stressed but it's natural," she replied, reaching up and running her fingers through his hair before resting it against his right cheek. "But that's what my Doctor is for and all the testing."

"Alright fine, I'll relax." He nodded turning his head and kissing the inside of her palm. "I'm gonna take a shower, when E gets home I'll take him somewhere so you can have a little more quiet time, sound good?"

"He should be home soon. Elizabeth said she'd pick him up today, so make the shower quick." she replied, covering herself up with the blanket and laying down, resuming the true crime netflix series that had just come out.

Matt had gone down the hall and into their bathroom and she'd only been laying down on the couch for about five minutes when the front door opened.

"Daddy, I'm home!" Ethan called out, closing the door and moving towards the dining room where he always dropped off his backpack. "I did what you asked me to this morning, but I almost got caught because Momma came back down the hallway right when I dumped her coffee and–"

"You did what?!" Caroline asked, sitting up and looking towards the back of the couch, Ethan's eyes going wide. "Ethan Matthew Tkachuk, why did you dump my coffee?"

"Did I hear E?" Matt asked, walking down the hall in sweats and a hoodie, drying his hair with the towel and stopping just at the end of the hall, taking in the scene. "What?"

"He told me to!" Ethan confessed, pointing at Matt. "He said I had to make sure you didn't drink coffee or eat cheese and that you didn't try to do anything by yourself and stuff because of the baby."

Caroline looked at Matt who's eyes were wide as he turned to her, a sheepish smile on his face. "To be fair...I told him not to let you drink two cups of coffee and soft cheese."

"THE CHEESE IS SOFT!" Ethan huffed, walking into the dining room and grabbing his lunch box, coming back and opening it and pulling out the opened pack of Swiss cheese. "See? SOFT. And your mug is big, so that's more than two cups of coffee."

"Oh my God," Caroline laughed sarcastically, shaking her head and looking at Matt.

"I'm not doing it anymore. I'm tired of waking up early to pour out your coffee. Besides, I spilled it on my pants this morning and it smells." Ethan pouted, handing Caroline the packaged cheese. "Please don't be mad at me, Momma. I only did it to help the baby."

"It's fine, Ethan," she sighed, taking the cheese from him as she stood up off of the couch, pointing at them both. "But I want both of you to know that I'm almost a 29-year-old woman, I've been through this before, so I know what to eat and drink and how to survive growing this little human inside of me."

"Care–"

"Nope, stay right there," she said, pointing back at Matt who looked more than apologetic. "I get why you did it, I really do. But I spent the entire day thinking I was losing my mind because of your guys' little secret plan."

"Sorry, Mommy," Ethan frowned, holding his hands together. "Can I do anything to help?"

"It's alright Ethan. Just know that this isn't soft cheese, just because it's soft. It's okay for me to eat because his pasteurized. And my coffee mug is big, but I only pour about one cup into it, which is halfway." She sighed. "But I wouldn't mind if you helped set up a bath for me."

"I can do that!" Ethan nodded, quickly giving her a hug before running down the hall to her and Matt's bedroom.

Caroline walked towards the kitchen with the cheese in her hand and heard Matt follow behind her. She opened the fridge and put the cheese back inside, turning around to see Matt standing right there with a frown on his face.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, holding onto both of her hands. "I just...I worry when I'm not here because what if you need something and E can't drive and it all sounds so crazy...but I'm just worried. And I figured if I made him my little helper and spy, that it'd be easier to help out."

"It's fine, Matty, I get it." She nodded, wrapping her arms around his waist. "But just...pull back a little, okay? I promise if anything's ever wrong, I'll let you know. But right now, we're good, okay?"

"Promise?" He pouted, looking down at her near seven month bump.

"Promise," she smiled, grabbing one of his hands and placing it on her bump just as she felt their daughter kick. "See? She's okay."

He smiled leaning in and kissing her before pulling back and sighing. "I mean come on...how was I supposed to know he thought soft cheese was just cheese?"

#wltay #anon #answered

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pbjamas · 3 years

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Please, thinking about how much neglect Hawks went through makes me so sad :( like not only does mans probably not know how to read or write but he was probably so far behind with EVERYTHING.

I am sure 100% his parents didn't teach him anything and the only resource he had of the world outside of his little shack was the TV (which his mum was practically glued to and it clearly didn't work well) so he wasn't going to learn much from that.

Like he probably couldn't even count past like 12, didn't know what most things were, didn't understand phrases (like in mean girls the "omg shut up" "I didn't say anything?" type of deal) and I know this child didn't know how to use chopsticks, like imagine when he gets taken in by the commission and he has to sit there for like an hour every meal cos he can't pick up his food without dropping it :( like I really think being so behind as a child is why he's so fast as an adult, he had to go really fast and cram to get to the normal level of a 7 year old and when he got there he just continued that speed, you know ?

Also, when we see him saving the people in the car crash he's got a little shopping bag, I like to imagine him paying for that if he couldn't read or count like the shopkeeper says its 300 yen and he thinks 1 note = 1 yen and he doesn't know how much 300 yen is but its clearly a Big Number and he definitely only has 4 yen so he starts freaking out like how is he going to get his mother money if things cost this much? But it turns out he actually DOES have enough money and now he's so confused because he now has 0 clue how money works so everytime after that he just prays that he has enough money for what he's picked up.

I also have a head canon that the reason why his boots are Like That is cos the first time he ever wore shoes was when he was on the streets with his mum and after 7 years of bare feet, walking in proper shoes was terrible so he preferred boots with hardly any sole that were so big they could barley fit his feet cos that felt most similar to walking bare foot and although he could walk fine in any shoe as an adult the boots were just never changed.

I also have this sad thought that like what if no one actually knows Hawks' real birthday ? Like I genuinely don't think Tomie was in a state of mind that allowed her to know or remember exact dates, not even the date that her son was born so when the commission asks when he was born she's just like "around Christmas? Maybe after?" So they just give him a birthday that matches that vague description :'(

THIS WAS SO LONG IM SO SORRY I just have many Thoughts about child Hawks :(

This one gets a readmore bc I rambled <3

aaaaaa ;_; that is so sad ;_;

yeah i remember talking with a friend and we about like.....what if baby keigo wrote in a diary! and since this was abt the ghost fic i was writing the ua kids were going to find his old diary and read it and probably cry. But then we realized......he wasn’t allowed to leave the house. Definitely did not go to school. Very much doubt that either tomie or his father taught him to read or write. If he knew any words at all, he would have learned them when his parents left him alone in the house and he could switch the TV to kids shows where they try to be educational.

Agreed that he probably couldn’t count that high either :/ slfkjsdkj what if....he made up words for the higher numbers so he could count higher ;_; AGAIN me thinking of the ghost fic (i poured my heart and soul into it okay!?) I had lil keigo just find a bunch of coins on the ground and hand it to the lady at the store and just hope it was enough bc he couldn’t count high :/

DO NOT give the boots a tragic backstory, I’ll start feeling bad about hating them!!!!

Aaaa that would be really sad if they didn’t even know his birthday ;_; my personal headcanon is that when he was younger his mom was more....there. It’s hard to take care of a baby, you have to be extremely careful because they can get hurt so easily. I like to think that until he could walk well, tomie actually did a pretty good job! she held him and fed him and maybe even sang to him. They were pals, he was her only friend. And then as soon as he could survive without her constant attention.....she just kind of.......withered, without that urgency. so tldr i think she would have remembered his birthday, and maybe even remembers newborn keigo with some fondness. and then let herself slip back into helplessness as soon as she could ;_;

The hpsc planned to immediately start hero training, but instead, they have to teach him how to count, how to read basic characters, how to hold a pencil, how to tie his shoes (UGH you have me considering the tragic boots backstory how dare you.....) .maybe bc he couldn’t tie his shoes he just preferred zipper to save himself the embarrassment (I STILL HATE THE BOOTS, TO BE CLEAR).

#asks

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babyloposts · 3 years

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Hi I entirely forgot to send in my request after you said they were open 😅 can you do a Zuko x reader where he says he has a date planned for them but the reader’s hair won’t cooperate before they go out so he helps the reader with their hair before taking them out?

A/N: ahh ur my first ask I’m so excited 😊 ur rlly speaking my language is it’s this one bc my hair is so difficult and does not cooperate with me ever so I understand this struggle 😭 I hope I do the ask justice

OneShot

Pairing: Zuko x black!reader

Warnings: language, type 4 hair struggles

Summary: Zuko has gone through trouble to plan a nice date for the two of you, it’d be such a shame to miss their dinner reservations because you can’t tame your unruly curls and coils. Lucky for you, it’s Zuko to the rescue.

Twist outs, the absolute bane of Y/N’s existence. No matter what she did she could never get the desired coil pattern, or it was too dry, or too stretched out. She swore this one would be different. The parts were straight, her scalp was greased, her roots and ends were well moisturized, everything was going according to plan.

That was until she got to the takedown. Y/N didn’t know what went wrong. She let your hair dry for a full 48 hours yet still, her hair was damp in some places, dry in others, and barely maintained any type of curl. The results were enough to make someone tear up, and she did a little, but there was still hope.

Y/N grabbed her blow dryer from the cabinet and began to work. Fluffing, primping, picking, and finger coiling until she was able to get her desired look but... she just made it worse.

Y/N groaned as she looked at her appearance in the mirror. Her hair was unbelievably puffy and she had a prominent part the wouldn’t move no matter what she did. Now she was discouraged. It’s one thing to have the original plan messed up, but when the plan-b goes to shit all hope seems to be lost.

Y/N had one last play left in her book. A go-to for curly girls when things don’t seem to be going their way. A high puff with cute edges.

Even executing this seemingly simple style would prove to be difficult for Y/N. Not only was she running low on her favorite hair gel, but as she was doing up her ponytail her good hair tie broke. And it was her only one left.

That was the last straw, the breaking point. She was gonna be late and ruin the date all because of her stupid, stupid hair. Y/N wasn’t one to cry over little things, but there was a lot building up to this breakdown. As the hair band snapped so did the dam in her tear ducts. A concerning wail passed her lips and she slumped over to brace herself on the cool marble counter top.

Y/N couldn’t silence her cries quickly enough because just as fast as that first cry sounded Zuko came rushing into the bathroom to check on her. His eyes grew with worry as he saw y/N crying over the sink with her hair covering her face.

“Y/N... what’s wrong?” Zuko cupped her cheeks in his hands and forced her to look at him. “Please don’t cry Beautiful, you’ll ruin your makeup. You hate that.” He gently wiped away the tears under her eyes with the pads of his thumbs. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”

Y/N took in a sharp breath to try and cease her cries, but it was to little avail. Weak sobs escaped her lips as she averted her gaze. She tried to shake her head, weakly laughing as if to convey the silliness of the situation. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t cry. It’s stupid.”

Zuko chuckled and tilted her chin up to meet his gaze. “That’s funny, aren’t you the one always reminding me that my feelings aren’t stupid. Tell me.” Zuko’s eyes were pleading. Y/N struggled to find the words.

“I won’t laugh at you. Promise.” A reassuring hand made its way to her back providing some bit of comfort.

“O-ok. I’m just upset b-because... we’re gonna be late to our nice date you planned because I can’t do my hair.” Y/N whined. Zuko smirked a bit. He was slightly amused, but he wasn’t laughing at her, per se.

“I told you it’s silly.” Y/N pouted and buried her face in her hair.

“No it’s not. It’s not silly, Princess. I just think you look beautiful. I don’t know why you’re stressing.” Zuko mused. You looked up at him, dressed all nice in a maroon button down, black slacks, glossy shoes, and gold chain. He looked stunning and she looked a mess.

“I don’t hold a candle to you. You’re all presentable and shit. And I look like I just stood in a hurricane.” Y/N fussed, but Zuko was having none of it. Y/N looked like a goddess as always especially with her natural hair out and he was going to let that be known.

“Y/N... you look gorgeous, as always. I love the way your hair looks, okay? You’re beautiful no matter what and that’s all that maters.” Zuko looked at her with all the seriousness in the world. Y/N nodded, lip poked out and eyes watery. Before anymore tears could spill Zuko brought her into his embrace and wrapped his arms securely around her shoulders. With a sweet kiss on the forehead he pushed away and smiled sweetly.

“Okay now tell me what I can do to help.” Y/N sighed and held out her hand. Inside revealed the broken hair tie, which happened to be the last one she had.

“It broke while I was trying to do a ponytail...” Zuko examined the limp elastic splayed in her hands before exiting the bathroom. When he returned he had a bag in his hands that had many items inside, one being the extra large elastics you used to do your hair.

“Zuko how did you-?”

“I noticed you were running low on some stuff so I went by the hair store on my way home.” Zuko shied. He was so unbelievably sweet, it almost caused Y/N to shed more tears. “I hope I got you the right brands I tried my best to remember.”

“You did Baby, thank you. You’re my life saver.” Y/N stood on her tip toes and placed a sweet kiss to his cheek. “Okay, now move. I need to do my hair and fix my makeup super quick so we at least have a chance to make our reservations.”

“Can I help? T-to make it go faster?” Zuko mussed with his fingers as he asked. He was so cute. He’d never helped Y/N with her hair before and knew she didn’t like other people to touch her hair, but he wanted to help in anyway he could.

Y/N agreed and even though Zuko wasn’t slaying her ponytail or snatching her edges he was till helpful to brush up her hair in the back where she couldn’t see. Zuko did a great job too, the back was nice and flat and you two actually made it out of the house at a decent time.

In the car to the restaurant Zuko rested his his hand on the bare skin of Y/N’s thigh. She watched him as he drove and couldn’t fathom how she’d gotten so lucky to have Zuko love her. He was so good to her.

“What?” Zuko asked when he caught your gaze.

“Nothing. I just wanted to tell you I love you.”

“I know Beautiful. I love you too.”

————————————————

Written for: @lunabby010 I hope you enjoyed love 😊

#atla #atla au #atla zuko #atla imagine #babylowrites #atla headcanons #atla x reader #zuko x reader #atla zuko x reader #Zuko x black!reader #4c hair #type 4 natural hair #black writers #black reader

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slytherinsnekxvii · 3 years

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this isn't my best work, but it's still pretty good for something i wrote when i was 15 after having a half a year of writer's block. anyways, ahem, presenting the fic in which severus says fuck it after the lake incident and just doesn't go back to hogwarts but potentially gets dragged into the war anyway despite living in the muggle world for like,, three years, part 1 (aka the only chapter i wrote bc my writer's block came back oops):

It starts simply, like most things do. It starts with a few words, tossed out without care and full of childish conviction. It escalates to brawls in the corridors and duels in the dungeons--if you could even call them that when it was four-on-one and most encounters left him reeling. It continues until he's twitchy and hypervigilant and awkward, always on the lookout for an attack, ready to bite before anyone could bite him.

It ends much the same. The events leading up to this are a production fit for the theatre, if the crowd is anything to by, but the ending itself is quite simple. Gasping for air near the shore of the Black Lake and battling a headache that hurts almost as much as the sharp press of his heart at the thought of what he'd done to Lily, he simply gives up. He picks himself up, tells himself this is the end of it and goes about collecting his belongings.

His wand comes to his hand easily enough with a mumbled Accio. His bag does, as well. Its contents, on the other hand, have to be collected by hand. His textbooks and ink are strewn beneath the tree, mostly, but the loose parchment and his quill are lost to the wind. He snatches up what he can find before someone gets it into their head to come further humiliate him and turns to head back into into the castle. Only to be smacked in the face by a bound sheaf of parchment and a quill. It's suspicious, and he's tempted to burn it then and there. It's his, but they were definitely scattered about the grounds two seconds ago. He doesn't burn it. He hesitates, puts it in his bag and returns to the castle, intent on making his way to Gryffindor Tower.

The apology doesn't go well. Lily isn't interested, refuses to hear it. He returns to the Slytherin dorms, drops into his bed and thanks Merlin that they'll be going home soon. Cokeworth is God-awful, but at least there's only one man trying to kill him there and only one woman for him to disappoint.

So, he waits it out. Spends his final classes looking over his shoulder and staring blankly at his parchment every time he remembers that they tried to kill him and they humiliated him and they got away with both. He shrinks into himself, avoiding the corridors at all costs, skipping meals to avoid being in the Great Hall and spends as much time as possible in the Library and the dusty old Potions Lab on the Fourth Floor that no one knows about, losing himself in research so he doesn't have to interact with his Housemates. He sits alone at the Leaving Feast, refuses to touch his plate until Evan Rosier falls into the seat next to him and bothers him into eating. The Headmaster dismisses them, says that they'll see each other come September and lets them filter out onto the train.

He ends up sharing a compartment with Mulciber, Avery and Rosier even though he's barely spoken to any of them since the incident. Evan needles him about everything and nothing the whole way to King's Cross, and when they get there, Evan claps him on shoulder and that's goodbye.

He gathers up his things, goes to meet his mother so they can Apparate home and not waste what little money they have on transport. Eileen's cheeks are sunken, her arms rail thin, her dress loose-fitting. He'd still rather see her than anyone even loosely affiliated with Hogwarts. She nods at him, he nods back. They go home.

He spends his summer making himself useful. He does odd jobs for the neighbours, is grudgingly polite to his father, takes care of his mother. By the time term rolls around, people are talking about that Snape boy. Strange, and quiet, too, but he works well, doesn't he? September first dawns bright and early, and Severus doesn't go back to Hogwarts.

He studies at home instead, nose buried in his mum's old books. He plants the few ingredients he has hidden away in his trunk at the back of the house and uses what grows to brew medicines and weedkillers and anything he can think of after experimenting a bit. Mr. and Mrs. Smith down the street both swear up and down he's working magic on their little garden and their old bones.

He feeds cats, delivers packages for the grocer, takes tables and nightstands home to cast Reparo on. Someone tells the pub owner about him, and the next thing he knows, he's frying chips and learning how to mix drinks even though the most complicated thing anyone ever orders is a pint of the beer that they have on tap.

It's not a bad existence. Eventually, slowly, his mother starts coming back to herself. She takes over the brewing when he isn't around. Annotates his annotations and even makes a trip to Diagon Alley for more ingredients to add to their garden when Severus forgets to write Narcissa to ask her to send a few more.

Severus is old enough now to drag his father home from the pub behind him when he's done working. One evening, they come home and Tobias nearly trips over the end table that Severus is meant to be fixing for Mr. Williams three houses up. Severus works his wand out of his boot and goes to cast a spell, but Tobias grumbles and bats his hand away. Drunk as he is, he still digs out his toolbox and gets to work. The job turns out almost decent.

By December, Severus is at the pub, feeding cats on his break and making deliveries when he has the time. Eileen is brewing and Tobias is doing carpenter's work fixing and building wardrobes, cupboards, cabinets and everything else. It keeps him busy enough that some days he doesn't see a drink at all. It's not much, but there's a little food on the table at the end of each day, and Severus thinks that he's probably better off than he would have been at Hogwarts.

Sometime around Christmas, his mother talks him into getting a Muggle education and writing his NEWTs. He writes the O-Levels for his Muggle exams in January. They're a breeze, given how well-read he is. He sees Petunia at the store shortly after, and she sneers vaguely in his direction. He hears her condescending voice in the back of his head and decides to sit the A-Levels in May out of spite.

His birthday comes and goes, the NEWTs come right after and he aces each and every one of the written exams. The practicals are spread out across the following weeks, and he's leaving the Ministry after his last exam to find that the date coincides with that of a field trip for the Sixth Years at Hogwarts.

He watches them a little, tearing his gaze away after he catches sight of a tanned arm draped over a shoulder touched by a red braid. The students mill near the doors for a while and so, Severus looks around for escape routes, eyes skipping hurriedly from door to door until they rest on a Ravenclaw who'd also taken the January NEWTs. All kinds of people had been there, adults who hadn't passed when they were younger and needed to retake the exams to get jobs, teenagers who had family fortunes waiting for them whose parents wanted them to at least look like they were competent, and overachievers--like Severus assumed the Ravenclaw was--who wanted to know where they stood before the actual exam. He jerks his chin toward another door, this one proclaiming to lead to the "Apparition Division". Severus nods once at him and makes his way toward it.

There's a one-day course for Apparition, apparently. The woman at the receptionist desk doesn't even bother looking at him, just points him in the direction of the Training Room with her nail file. He stays for nearly the rest of the day, until they're finally done. He gets his license and is quietly pleased to see that the building is nearly devoid of life when he leaves. He goes home.

May and June come around and bring with them the A-Levels. He finds them only marginally more challenging than his O-Levels and returns to his routine. It's a nice routine, which takes him all the way through to July of the next year when Lily starts coming in with Black and Potter and Pettigrew and Lupin. The first time it happens, he leaves the counter so fast that the patron he'd just given a glass of water to is convinced he teleported. He's already taken his regular break to go feed Mrs. Jones' cats, so he steps into the kitchen and tells Jimmy he's taking a smoke break. Jimmy snorts and reminds him that he doesn't smoke.

He fidgets, trying to think up a way to avoid going back out, when the ruckus they're making makes Jimmy look through the little window and see the lot of them crowded around a little table. He gets a peculiar look on face for a bit, before he asks Severus if they have something to do with why he doesn't go to his fancy school anymore. He doesn't need an answer, just tells him to keep an eye on the food and steps out to man the counter. Severus stays late, frying chips and washing dishes until the early hours of the morning when Jimmy pats him on the back and kicks him out.

It keeps up until September comes around, and by then, Severus has taken so many smoke breaks that he's actually started smoking. He keeps smoking long after they're gone.

He goes back to his routine until it's broken again by a letter that comes by owl. It's a short letter, coming from a Potions Master whose apprentice had been overseeing the exams. It claims that his work was the best either of them had seen in years and after asking around, they'd found that he was unbound to any Master and was highly recommended by the Malfoys. It ends with an offer. Severus would think himself foolish not to accept, so, he does. After that, two days a week are dedicated to Flooing to Master Diogene's laboratory to fulfil the requirements of his apprenticeship. It finds its own little nook in his routine and so he continues until June of 1980.

He's preparing to go to the pub when there's a knock at the door. It's not so uncommon anymore, so he thinks nothing of it, only that he hopes it doesn't take too long. His shift starts in half an hour. He pushes his shirt sleeves up to his elbows, where they perpetually are these days, and decides he'll roll them up properly later. He opens the door.

"Good afternoon," a very pregnant Lily says, and standing next to her is the Ravenclaw from the Ministry, back straight, arms clasped behind his back, his entire being alert.

"Good afternoon," he replies, awkward. After a long moment of silence, he asks, "Can I help you?"

"Depends on whether or not you let us in," she says.

Wordlessly, he steps aside, sliding the three pairs of shoes nearer to the wall in order to let them pass. "Do you want tea?"

"No," she says, at the exact same time her Auror friend says, "Thank you."

He gestures them into the little kitchen, where they sit at the little table where he and his mother and his father take their meals. He tugs his wand out of his boot, flicks it so that the cauldron bubbling away on the stove scoots aside but doesn't spill. The burner beneath lights on its own. He puts the kettle, already full, on to boil. "So," he begins, absentmindedly rolling up his sleeves. "Is there something you need from me?"

Lily smiles, strained. "Can't I just visit an old friend?"

"Sure," he says, quietly. "You made it very clear that you would prefer if we weren't, though."

Her expression twists. "And with good reason," she grits.

He says nothing. The kettle whistles. He searches for the boxes of tea, sets about mixing two cups of mint. He puts them both on a tray with milk and sugar, as well as the small container of honey kept for special occasions. He puts it on the table.

"I'm sorry."

She doesn't say anything, just watches him with bright, green eyes aflame with old anger. She picks up one of the teacups and starts doctoring it to her liking. Her Auror friend follows suit. It really is obvious, Severus thinks, watching the man scan the room from top to bottom, corner to corner. He sighs. "Why are you here, Lily?"

She glares at her tea. The Auror shifts uncomfortably. Severus sighs again. "You know, when people visit old friends, they usually don't bring Aurors with them."

"Trainee, actually. This is my last year." He grins sheepishly. "That obvious?"

Severus nods.

He leans over the table, stretches out a hand. His right, Severus notices. He leans over and shakes with his left.

"Kingsley Shacklebolt," the Auror trainee introduces himself.

"Severus Snape, but you already knew that."

"Ah, yes. Of course."

Lily continues to glare at her tea. Shacklebolt fidgets. Severus stares, adjusts the heat on the burner below the cauldron. Silence prevails. The door creaks open, just then, and Eileen comes in, stirring rod in hand. "You'll be late if--oh," she says, noticing their guests. "Good afternoon."

"Good afternoon," the other three respond with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

"Well, if it isn't Lily Evans. It's been quite a while, hasn't it? You look well," Eileen says, nudging her son out of the way so she can poke at the mixture in the cauldron.

"You as well," Lily mumbles. "And it's, ah, it's Potter now, actually. Lily Evans Potter."

"Ah, I see. My mistake. Congratulations are in order, then, Mrs. Potter."

"Congratulations," Severus echoes.

"And you're a Shacklebolt, yes?" Eileen continues, her hands methodically sprinkling ground lavender into the cauldron. "Elodie's son, I should think. You resemble her quite a bit."

"Yes, ma'am," the trainee replies. "Grandmother says I'm nearly a carbon copy."

Eileen hums, lowers the heat under the cauldron. She takes out the stirring rod, examining the clinging lavender paste before wiping it off and placing it on the counter. "I suppose I'll leave you it, though Doris just passed, and she said that Jimmy has a full house, so, do try to hurry. It's already nearly four."

"Yes, Mam."

She leaves, and once more, silence settles over the small kitchen. Severus looks at the clock on the wall, sees that it does, indeed, say that it's minutes to four. Eleven minutes, to be exact, and it's a ten minute walk to the pub. He starts gathering the tea things, has just taken Shacklebolt's empty teacup when Lily clears her throat.

"Are you a Death Eater?" she asks.

"No," Severus tells her, and takes her teacup. Ten minutes to four.

"Prove it," she says, glaring.

Severus sets down the tray and leans across the table, arms outstretched, palms up, forearms exposed. The skin on either arm is pale, smooth and utterly unmarked, save and except for the scars one is bound to get when their preferred work involves knives and hot cauldrons.

"You keep regular contact with Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy, as well as Regulus Black and Evan Rosier, all of whom are suspected Death Eaters. Why?"

Severus' eyes narrow. "Lucius is sponsoring my Potions Mastery. Narcissa, for whatever reason, enjoys my conversation. Regulus and Evan both seem to think that I'll drop dead if I don't speak to them at least once a week and I haven't been able to disabuse them of the notion--though, not for lack of trying."

"So, you aren't planning to become a Death Eater?" Seven minutes to four.

"I'm not," Severus says, biting down on something rising in his chest. He returns the tea things to their proper places, washes the cups and sets them to dry. When he looks at them again, Lily's glare has softened into an unwavering stare.

"Are you certain?" she asks, and Severus grits his teeth.

"Oh, no, not at all. I only left the Wizarding World to live in a Muggle neighbourhood with my Muggle father, work for a Muggle and feed old ladies' cats and fix their husbands' cabinets because I thought it would make it easier for me when I decided I wanted to murder them all. Obviously," he snaps, throat closing around the words as soon they've been forced out of his mouth. His jaw clamps shut. Three minutes to four.

"You're being an a—" she starts, but then she bites her tongue. "Why... why did you leave?"

He stands silent for a moment. "Reasons I don't believe we have time to discuss. It appears that I'm late for work, I'm afraid." The clock reads three fifty-nine. By the time, he reaches the front door, it will be four o' clock. He starts walking.

"But–" Lily begins, standing.

He gestures them onto the porch while he shoves his feet into his boots. "Terribly sorry to leave in a hurry like this, but duty calls. Things to do, people to see. Enjoy your evening, Mrs. Potter. Auror Trainee Shacklebolt." Four o' clock.

"Really–"

"Until next time, Mr. Snape," Shacklebolt interjects, and with a stiff nod, he and Lily make their way towards the Apparition Point they'd used and Severus is walking down the street. He exhales, slowly, carefully at the quiet, telltale crack of Disapparition off in the distance. He picks up the pace and hopes that'll be the end of it. He knows it won't, though. Until next time, Shacklebolt said.

It isn't the end, of course. It never is. There's a knock at the door just before he's ready to leave the next afternoon, and he contemplates just not answering the door and staying at home for the foreseeable future. There's enough food to last at least a week, and he could always just tell Mrs. Havisham that he wasn't feeling well. The news would make it around the town and back within the day. The knock sounds again. He sighs and gets up to go answer it. "Can I help you?"

"Only if you want to. May I come in?" Shacklebolt asks.

Against his better judgement, Severus lets him in.

#severus snape #snapedom #pro snape #fic #i didn't expect anyone to take me seriosuly but someone did and goddamn it i'll be damned if i don't give them something to read #anyways have fun #probably a bit ooc #but that's what makes aus fun amirite hehe #alright that's enough from me

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byulsgrease · 3 years

Note

Is it cool if I make a request? :D

Something with Byulyi & F!Reader (being really close friends for a long time w/ mutual feelings towards eachother) having their first kiss in the rain? Just fluffy stuff 😄

ahh beloved anon you read my mind bc I was recently thinking about kissing in the rain! probably cuz there's another heat wave incoming and I'm here wishing it would snow in the middle of august

the panoramic almost makes me miss pining/flirting, but I would 100% simp for any of my mutuals tbh 🤔

so yes, this req is very cool with me. helps break up the smut 😳 hope you enjoy :D

love's like a movie

(moonbyul x gender neutral reader, ~1.2k words)

cw: food mention, but what's new? pure fluff otherwise

a/n: been listening to movie by btob a little too much lately

Byulyi had always been a charmer with a heart of gold. Every girl she managed to befriend pined after her swagger, straight or not. People frequently wondered if they wanted to be with her, or just be her. Her greasiness never failed to garner an eyeroll from you at this point, wondering how people in her life were so taken by her silly girl-crush facade. Of course you found it hypnotizing and kinda hot just like everyone else, but it would inflate her ego a little too much for your liking if you ever let on.

Using each other's thighs as pillows to nap on. Buying each other coffee during busy weeks, having memorized each other's order. Being down to spend time together at any time, regardless of how mundane the occasion - everything from walking her dogs to running errands. Big bear hugs and pecks on the cheek during big triumphs, meaningful embraces and a listening ear during the hard times. Everything that comes with any long-term relationship, having known her now for longer than you could remember.

The confession, if you could even call it one, was more like a shared understanding. The first "I love you" exchange happened long ago in causal conversation. The intent behind it grew and changed alongside your growth as people, but the core significance of the phrase always remained. As the years rolled on it just became obvious that no one loved you like she did, and vice versa.

Of course the unspoken nature of the relationship sometimes begged more questions than answers. Your cryptic attempts at trying to figure out where her head was at were mostly countered with a wink and a non-answer, but you were pretty sure she was on the same page. But the tiniest doubt always seemed to creep in at the most opportune moments - and there was that constant nagging in your mind of whether you could stand to create an awkward situation, let alone lose her. But all the wondering and worrying occupied far too much of your brain space over time, so you finally resolved to put it to the test.

~~~

"I'm hungry but I don't wanna get up," she complains, body sprawled out on the couch, absentmindedly spinning her glasses in her hand. Glancing out the window, it's one of those weird days where the weather can't make up its mind. That type of partly cloudy that gives way to dark gray and showers, and then 15 minutes later it's sunny again, like the rain never happened. "I'd walk to the convenience store but don't wanna get caught in the rain. Murphy's law, right?"

"Yeah, but if you wanna go you should go now, the rain just let up." A garbled noise emanates from the couch, but she knows you're right. She suddenly raises her head to look at you, expression noticeably brighter.

"You'll come with, right? Let's go! You've been inside all day anyway."

"Fine, fine." How could you say no to her? a snack? You reach a hand out to her and she takes it to pull herself off the couch. Even a simple handhold makes your heart skip a beat after all this time. Your head subtly shakes, kicking yourself and wishing you could just keep cool like her rings touching your skin. Her hand stays in yours as you lead her to the door, just an excuse to hang on a little longer. It drops only for you to hand her a windbreaker hanging off a hook on the wall and putting your arms through the sleeves of your own, arms swishing against the smoothness of the waterproof fabric.

You're not outside for more than 5 minutes when the sky goes dark again. Byul marches on, determined to get her snack fix. She already left the house, no point in turning around now.

The surprisingly aggressive rain begins as you both scramble to get your hoods up, droplets pattering down onto your thinly covered heads. Should've brought an umbrella, but the store's not too much farther. Somehow the casual stroll silently transitions into a power-walk, shoes splashing puddle water that dots the cuffs of your jeans.

Completely unannounced, clouds suddenly part and the suggestion of sun rays peek through the sky. You stop in your tracks and stare at each other, incredulous at the sheer unpredictability of the weather. Shrugs are exchanged and you're absolutely soaked, socks squishing in your sneakers. But there's no one you'd rather be on this wild walk with. May as well finish what you started— or well, take your chances— on the weather and her.

She stares up at the sky with wonder through her dewy droplet-covered glasses. Can she see? It’s probably better if she can’t in case I embarrass myself. She chuckles, finally speaking. "Why do I feel like I'm in a mov—" Her comment abruptly ends when you find the courage to link both your hands behind her neck, your lips clumsily crashing into hers. She hums against you, surprised, before she processes what's happening and relaxes into you.

You pull back a little, noses just brushing. "Oops, sorry. Was supposed to be more graceful than that," you whisper meekly, eyes not daring to meet hers. Honestly, it came and went too quickly, your racing heart and mind forgot to enjoy the moment. Her hands find the small of your back to pull you in closer, a floaty feeling moving through you while resting your arms on her shoulders. Whether her touch calms you down or makes you want to set yourself on fire, you have no clue.

She grins and inquires, "Mm, like this?" The pads of her fingers on your back press in, tenderly bringing her lips back to meet yours. The softness and warmth from being pressed together has you absolutely melting into her, completely forgetting about getting drenched by the rain. How like her to show you up. But could you really complain about finally kissing the girl you had loved for so long?

Again, the moment feels fleeting when she pulls away, heat in your faces shared by your touching foreheads. It's silly, standing wrapped in each other's arms smack dab in the middle of the sidewalk. But you couldn't care less.

"I was saying, why do I feel l like I'm in a movie? At least, before you interrupted me," she chides sarcastically.

"You can't tell me it wasn't a welcome interruption." Her face scrunches, acknowledging your point but not wanting to concede.

"Certainly an unexpected one."

"So it is like a movie."

"I was talking about the weather," Your smile falls into a glower, pulling back to stare at her dead-on. She can't help but laugh at the corner she's talked you into, beaming proudly.

"I can't with you," giving her the biggest eyeroll and shaking your head incredulously, but that can't cover up the fluttery feeling that eventually grows into a dumb-founded grin. "Can we go get our snacks now?"

"Yeah, let's go before it starts raining again," giving a cautious glance to the sky. You swear you can hear her repeatedly humming "love's like a movie~" as you walk hand in hand towards the convenience store.

#i want a snack #convenience stores in asia hit diff #requested #girl group fluff #mamamoo imagines #moonbyul imagines #mamamoo fluff #moonbyul x reader #mamamoo x reader #moonbyul fluff #mamamoo moonbyul #moon byulyi #gg fluff #kpop fluff #girl group fic #mamamoo fic #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #mamamoo scenarios

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okaybutlikeimagine · 3 years

Text

Come Inside, It’s Ok

Desc: Hop realizes that Billy is a lot like him when he was a teen- based on the song Thirteen by Big Star (bc that’s a Jopper AND a Harringrove anthem, tell me i’m wrong)

TW: referenced past child abuse, referenced homophobia, every dad in Hawkins sounds like an abusive asshole in this fic i didn’t mean it 😞

you can also read this on AO3 right here!! ♥

~*~

James Hopper hated his father more than anyone else hated the man. More than his uncle who had to grow up with the jerk. More than his mother who threatened to divorce the deadbeat seven times. More than anyone.

Hopper’s father was abrasive and loud. He joined the army because he wanted to. He gave up his individuality willingly. He shaved his head and licked the boot of The Man and acted superior for it. He looked down on a young Jimmy Hopper and barked in his face and ordered that he become a man. Quicker. Jim was only 7. He had just broken an arm at football practice. He needed reassurance and comfort. He got condescension and a mother threatening to leave. Loudly.

James Hopper was sure he was the only son in the world who hated his own father. He felt sure as hell about it when he stuck his jaw out and looked past his nose at his father who always seemed to tower over him. Even when the man only had an inch on him, he was larger- always looming. He felt sure as hell about it when he’d narrow his eyes and refuse to listen. He felt sure as hell about it when he talked back to him, and got into yelling matches with him, and slammed the door on him.

He felt even more sure the one night he got hit.

He was more than certain he was the only one. Standing there, staring this horrible bulk of a man down, Jimmy knew no one else had ever felt such a thing before. This wasn’t TV or the movies. This wasn’t a family love you cherish by the fire on a cold Christmas night. This wasn’t a father with kind eyes and a stern voice who comes into the house in the evening with his suit on and his briefcase in hand, kissing his kids and smiling brightly. This was different and he knew it.

And all of that anger and stress and feeling of certainty made him take too long to realize something crucial. Because he didn’t realize you can know something and yet still be so wrong.

That is, until Phil didn’t come to school one day.

Jimmy figured he was sick. A couple days later he figured it was that nasty stomach bug. A week later and he figured his family took a trip. A week and a few days had him itching with worry. He asked his best friend as calmly as he could. That friend looked at him like he was nuts.

“You didn’t hear?”

“Hear what?”

“He moved away. His mom took him out of the state last weekend. They just left.”

Jim couldn’t understand the words for a second.

“Why?”

“You didn’t know? His dad has been roughing him up for years now. He got the mom too, I think. Why do you think he was always wearing sweaters all year long?”

Jim’s heart stopped.

“His mom finally got him out. They left.”

“Why did no one say anything about it?”

“Because you don’t talk about that stuff.” Jim’s friend said, hushed and knowing, eyes turned solemn and hiding a world Jim didn’t know lived in there. In his most outspoken, lively friend. In his friend he’d known since they were toddlers.

You don’t talk about that stuff he said like he had a whole world of pain to tell. Jim knew his friends were like him- dads who were tough as nails and grunted more than spoke. It was why they all got along so well. But they never mentioned their fathers being… Jim was so sure he was the only one. Everyone else did things with their family. Everyone else seemed so perfect. At the very least they seemed better. Jim was sure.

Why did no one say anything about it? quickly morphed into Why did I never even ask?

Starting there, Jim kept a critical eye out. He watched his friends and what they were wearing. The way they moved and the changes in those movements. The words they spoke about their parents. He noticed differences and fluctuating emotions. But stil, he was only a young teenager- he never knew what to do. His mouth couldn’t form around the words he felt he should say. His brain could barely provide them. So he did for them what he would have liked- just took them out to empty fields and deep into the woods. He provided them beer and music. Sometimes, when they were splitting at the seams, he’d fight them a bit. He’d egg them on so they could fight it out. Get the anger out. Help, somehow. Inadvertently. Lord knew Jimmy sometimes just needed to punch shit. Turns out, his friends felt the same way, and often.

When his daughter Sarah came, he handled her gently and spoke to her even softer. He got into fights with his now ex-wife over his not being strict enough but Hop couldn’t find it in himself to have any kind of gruffness toward someone so soft and so innocent and so pure. She was the light of his life. She left so quickly. Even his softness and kindness couldn’t save her, and he couldn’t very well beat the shit out of her enemies like he had wished to.

And when he met Billy Hargrove on the side of the road that one dark night, having pulled him over for speeding drunkenly down the lonely streets on the outskirts of town, every red flag flew up. Every worry and fear he found within himself when he was a teen found its place once again inside of him for this boy. For his bruised face and exhausted eyes. For his lightly cut chin and short breath. Hop became young Jimmy yet again, analyzing and fearing for a world of pain he couldn’t see and couldn’t ask about. He searched hard for words this time and found all the wrong ones. He exhausted the poor boy with his inability to articulate his fears and was successful in taking him in only because he had worn him out so badly.

Still, since then, he’s been here. He’s family now. He’s out of there. In all his fumbling Hop did something right.

And yet, things still feel wrong. Billy still walks tentatively around him, like the cabin is going to crash down above him and any relationship they’ve built up is going to shatter.

Hop thinks about it so often. He thinks about Billy and sees his own friends from high school. He sees parts of himself, but sadder, angrier… more helpless. He thinks endlessly on what he can do to fix it.

~Won’t you let me walk you home from school~

A song starts playing through his record player and he’s lost again in the world of Jimmy vs. Billy. He thinks of how life used to feel simple.

This song always whisks him away to high school. The early days when life was confused and wandering and he was just coming into his own with football, not nearly a “star” yet and Joyce… Joyce was young and wide eyed and wandering just the same. By that point she hadn’t even met Lonnie yet. She was awkward and yet still so beautiful. So quiet and so stunning. Her laughter rang through the hallways and he swears he can still hear it.

This song feels like it’s for them. When he first heard it, he saw her face back when they were freshmen and then sophomores, when he used to walk her home. He always used to walk her home, before he got his car and before she got Lonnie. They’d walk so slow, wandering through the streets, lazily strolling past stores and getting slightly distracted by the people zooming past on their bikes.

He sits forward on the couch and he looks down at the tattered carpet and he hears himself as Jimmy.

”C’mon Joyce… we can hit the pool this weekend.”

“I’m busy.”

“Then… then maybe Friday I can get a couple tickets for that dance.”

“What?”

He gave her his biggest, brightest grin, knowing he caught her off guard. He smiles a little now at the thought.

”Yeah, c’mon, Joyce. I’ll take ya. I’ll get a monkey suit and you can wear a dress-”

She had laughed that bright, ringing laugh. It made him smile every time.

“Yeah, I think I’ll pass.”

“You’re gonna pass up a chance to dance with me?”

“Don’t tell me, you’re the best dancer in Hawkins?”

“You’ll never know if you don’t come find out.”

“You’re really full of yourself, aren’t you?”

Hop has a hard time thinking of himself back then. He felt so sure of everything. Of himself and what he was doing, even if he knew he didn’t know anything at all. Still, he chuckles now as he sits here, thinking about Joyce’s smile and her little nod. Thinking about him buying those tickets. Thinking about the night they had together, awkward and fumbling but bright still. His first real kiss that had real feelings to go along with it. The way Joyce walked so quickly as they headed to her home because she was so nervous. The way she never let him walk her up to her house because she was so scared her parents would ground her.

Lord does he remember the fights. The stress and the struggle of dealing with Joyce’s parents. When they came to an after-school event and Jimmy said hi to her and her dad gave her hell for it and her mom worried herself sick for a bit. She got grounded and started avoiding him. He got angry and figured fine because Gloria from his History class had been eyeing him up lately and helping him with a pretty friendly smile so it didn’t even matter.

It wasn’t more than a week that had passed before he cornered her after school and convinced her to let him walk her home again.

They wandered downtown and he guided her behind a store building, the store she now works for if he remembers correctly, and asked about that night. Asked about what he said wrong. Asked about what he did wrong.

She shook her head, said it was just her parents being “crazy, I don’t know”. He couldn’t find it in him to worry that much. When they kissed, it was still with so many feelings attached. Hop can’t remember when those feelings faded.

It wasn’t until a couple years later when a rumor started going around about Joyce’s dad being a grade A asshole like Phil’s was all those years ago that made Jim take her aside very seriously and ask her if she was okay- those couple of years ago and that day. By that point she was with Lonnie and he was getting serious about Diane. He and Joyce hadn’t talked for over a year. Still, he was worried. She insisted that her dad just liked to huff and puff and yell enough to shake her ears, but he never touched her. It wasn’t until years and years later that Hop realized that really isn’t any better. Nowadays she insists she was and is fine and he’s just found it in himself to believe her.

When Hop finally got a car, they would sit in it and listen to the radio and talk music. She was the only person who’d sit with him and actually think about lyrics and feelings and words. She was always so headstrong about… well everything but especially human rights. She wanted equal rights for everyone. She fought so hard it made Jim tired. Maybe it started with her father but it truly never seemed to end. They used to sit and theorize about meanings behind words and the messages of songs.

”Tell your old man what we say about Paint It, Black. That’ll mess him up.”

Joyce hit him with a chuckle. That was the last time in high school they really laughed together. He can still remember her laugh back then- light and free from any weight these years have brought to it.

But now Jimmy is Hopper, and life isn’t the same. It doesn’t wander and linger and hide behind stores for extra kisses that feel electric. He knows life just doesn’t work that way anymore. He feels like life has only continued with all of the bad parts and none of the good.

In the slow guitar interlude of the song, he hears voices where they shouldn’t be- distant and slightly muffled and outside the window that’s opened a bit to let some air in.

“Yeah, he’s home. The cruiser is there.”

“Then I should go-”

“No, wait-”

It’s Billy and another voice Hop thinks he can recognize. Sounds like the same cocky, lilted tone of Steve Harrington. He knows they’ve been fighting for months now. They always seem to be fighting. Hop used to get called into the school because Billy was always shoving him around that one year. Since then there’s been whispers of them causing a ruckus all over the place but Hop never gets called to check it out. He doesn’t like to ask too much about it. He’s still trying to handle Billy gently and there’s so many more things to worry about. He doesn’t have the words to ask about that.

He doesn’t have the words to explain why they’d be here, together and clearly not at each other’s throats. Why bring a fight all the way back home?

“You uh… got anything planned this weekend?”

“Nope, nothing planned.”

A pause.

“There’s uh… a stupid dance or something-”

“Billy-”

“Look I just… we can’t go, obviously but maybe… we can do something on our own?”

There’s another pause. Longer this time. Hop used to be so sure and suddenly he’s realizing yet again maybe things are the same as they were when he was young- because yet again, he doesn’t know anything.

~Won’t you tell me what you’re thinking of~

“C’mon Harrington….” there’s the confirmation Hop didn’t need. “Say something at least. Don’t just stand there thinking.”

“Billy we can’t keep running around and hiding.”

“Why not?”

~Would you be an outlaw for my love?~

“What if people find out, that’s why not! What if my dad-”

“Tell your dad to fuck off.”

“And Hop?”

Hop’s heart stops. Everything comes crashing to a halt because suddenly he’s being made to face the very harsh fact that he’s not Jimmy anymore. He hasn’t been for a long while. He’s Chief Hopper and Chief Hopper belongs to the “other” part of these young kids’ minds. Billy’s and Steve’s and El’s and Mike’s. He’s the man they’re meant to rebel against. He’s the one that doesn’t “get it” like they do.

And apparently he’s the one that Steve is worried about.

He doesn’t blame him. He doesn’t even know what to think. He knows people like that exist. He thinks he used to go to school with a few guys who were… well, into other things. He never had much to say or even think about it. Joyce was friends with them. She went out to a protest or something once in their senior year. He saw her in a car with them while he was taking Diane to the movies.

It’s not the fact that they like each other or that they want to spend time together. That’s better than them beating the snot out of each other and getting his guys called on them. It’s the fact that they’re worried about him and the fact that they have every reason to be. Hop is part of “The Man” now, and people around here don’t exactly like differences.

“I’ll figure it out.” Billy says, but Hop almost misses it, it’s so quiet.

“Billy-”

“Are you gonna fight for this, or what? Or is this just a one time thing for you to find yourself or some bullshit?”

Hop hears Jimmy in Billy’s words

”Are you not gonna fight for me?”

“Fight for you?!” Joyce had yelled. Oh, how she yelled. ”Are you serious? I… I pick and choose my fights Jim, okay? I have to.”

“That’s not very fair to me.”

“Not fair? No shit it’s not fair, it’s not fair for me either! And you… you’re not being fair to me, y’know!”

And that was it. They went separate ways. It’s so vivid in Jim’s mind- the way she stormed away and Jim drove himself home. He doesn’t remember how long it took until Lonnie joined Joyce’s picture, but it felt too soon in Hop’s ever bitter mind. He couldn’t look at her for weeks. He shoved Lonnie in the hallway any chance he got. The kid would snarl and sneer at him, but he was as scrappy as a dog and scrawnier than a toothpick- no way did he ever pick a fight. He spat words and Jimmy lunged and that was that. Hop doesn’t remember when the feelings faded, but he knows he never stopped hating Lonnie’s stupid face.

Then he started to date Diane and things were just… over.

“Alright Steve, I see-”

“It’s not that easy for me, Billy.”

“And you think this shit is easy for me?”

Hop feels bad for sitting here, still listening, but he can’t get his muscles or limbs to move him. He feels stuck, somewhere between here and the past, picturing all the ways he’s still the same and yet so wildly different.

“Well it is different for you.”

“Just because my shit’s different doesn’t mean my shit’s better. Shit is still shit, Steve.”

All the times Hop thought he had it the worst anyone could ever possibly have it.

“You don’t know what it’s like.”

“Try me, Harrington! Just try me.”

All the times Hop thought maybe his friends were exaggerating about Phil’s past. Maybe Joyce was being dramatic about things at home. There was no way a kid could feel so threatened. Not a kid as big as Phil. Not a kid as headstrong as Joyce.

There’s a longer pause from the two outside the window. The voice that comes is quieter now.

“It’s scary Billy.”

“I know it is! I… fuck I know it is.”

Not a kid as big and headstrong as Billy. It took years for Hop to believe it could happen and still, with an example living in his own house, it’s still hard to understand.

“Don’t you think it could be worth it?” That’s Billy’s voice. Hop feels his heart sink even deeper. They’re talking like they’re going to die if they’re caught. How many more times can he tell this boy he’s safe here? What does he have to do to convince him? To convince them both?

“Maybe… I think so.”

“Look, I can’t make you do anything, Steve. But if you wanna try… then let me know, alright?”

Billy sounds so tired. Hop wants to tell him to lay down and take a nap. There’s such a long pause that follows and fills the space between them.

And then suddenly there’s something blocking the sun from the window. Jim gets the wherewithal to turn and see that the two boys have got their hands tangled in the front of each other’s shirts, just like they would if they were gearing for a fight, but instead of fists flying it’s their lips locked- worlds of frustration still heavy on their brows.

Jim wants to protect these kids until the day he dies. They’re here and they’re wandering too, but their walk home is covered in speed bumps and potholes and hell maybe even spikes that he and Joyce never knew. Whatever he can do to give these kids the time and place to wander like the kids they are, he’ll do it.

Then they separate, their breathing clearly labored and mingling. Then they turn and see Jim in the window, caught like two deer in big bright headlights.

A split second later, Steve is running for the hills and Billy is left with his fists grasping at the air. Hop can’t help but laugh.

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obsidianfr3sk · 3 years

Text

true colors

@renegadesnet event 10: pride

↪ [ “But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things. Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.” ]

Summary: Two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.

Simon wanted a bigger flag.

No. He wanted two. The biggest pride flags he could find.

AO3

Hello, friends!! I hope you’ve been having an excellent pride month and have been eating a lot rainbow cake and pissing off a lot of conservatives with the mere fact of your wonderful existence:’) As my contribution to this month and the event organized by @renegadesnet, I decided to write a fic focused on my favorite gay dads and their sons (bc I’m me, and you should have seen this coming.)

Before you read, I want to give a trigger warning: at the start of a fic I talk about a homophobic attack, which is not graphic or violent per se (it’s someone in the middle of the night taking away the flag they put outiside the house), and I do discuss about internalized homophobia during some parts of the story. If you read it and are sensitive to this kind of stuff, proceed with caution and take care of yourself <3

Also, this entry is a collaboration with my talented mother @healing-winston-pratt, who is going to be uploading some fanart of this in a near future, so keep an eye on that👀 she’s the best skjhkjds thank you for accepting to collaborate, I feel this is a great bonding activity and I hope we can do this more often✨

I need to update my tag list because a lot of the people who were included are not active as active as they were before/changed their URLs. But I’m going to tag @the-wee-woo-rita @lackadae @all-weather-is-bad @chiyuki-hiro bc you guys are the only ones who are still active users who I had on my previous tag list lol

With that said, I hope you enjoy this fic. I think that despite the angsty parts, it came out really fluffy and domestic, it was fun to write. And to all my queer silbings who are reading this: I am very proud of you.

But I see your true colors shining through.

I see your true colors, and that's why I love you.

So don't be afraid to let them show.

Your true colors,

true colors are beautiful like a rainbow

Simon couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t know he was gay.

There was a time when he didn’t know he was gay, of course. He was probably too young to even comprehend the meaning behind that word. And there was also a moment in his life when he felt embarrassed about it, and sad, and angry, and really, really scared, and probably thought that no matter how hard he tried, he was never going to be happy living the life he wanted to live.

That the pain was never going to end. That he was going to be miserable for the rest of his existence, and that maybe, there was no point in existing if he was going to stay like that until the day he died.

But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things.

Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.

That was the reason why, the first year after the Day of Triumph, he told Hugh they should get a rainbow flag for their house. They went to one of the first stores that opened at the mall (that had just been remodeled after twenty years of being abandoned) and bought one at a not so affordable price. Simon offered himself to install it on one of the fence pillars and had to spend thirty minutes listening to Hugh telling him that maybe he should let him do it, that the ladder Kasumi had lent them was ratty, and that Simon was going to fall.

Fortunately, Simon didn’t. He did almost fall, though, when he was about to pass out from stress because seeing Hugh getting all anxious, made Adrian cry and he started to basically beg him to come down, given that now he was convinced he was going to fall, and hearing his dad saying “Look what you’ve done to the kid, Simon” didn’t help at all to make Adrian (or Simon) feel better.

That night, there was a thunderstorm and Adrian used it as an excuse to sleep on their bed. As soon as he cried himself to sleep, two hours later, after their dads did everything in their power to calm him down, hugging him, giving him kisses, and assuring him his aunt Tamaya wasn’t going to let the storm hurt them, Simon raised his hand to high-five Hugh and tell him that they were amazing parents, just to realize he was already asleep. Simon silently judged him for sleeping so soundly while his son was having a crisis instead of sleeping.

When he woke up (at five in the morning) Adrian was looking out their window, with the Baby Indomitable blanket on his shoulders. The sky was still cloudy, but it wasn’t raining anymore.

“Darling, what are you doing?,” Simon told him. “Today’s Sunday. Let your daddy and I get some more sleep—”

“The storm took our flag,” Adrian blurred out.

Hugh was already awake too. “What?”

“You said the storm wasn’t going to hurt us,” Adrian said, turning around to see them, “but the storm took our flag.”

Simon got out of bed, looked through the window...

And, yes, the flag was completely gone.

But for some reason, Simon knew it hadn’t been the storm.

“Why would the storm do something like this?” Adrian asked.

Simon didn’t know how to answer that. Luckily, Hugh did.

“Because the storm is homophobic, son.”

Adrian laughed out loud and then asked his dads if they could have pancakes for breakfast. He had already forgotten about the storm and the flag.

They didn’t. Neither of them ever forgot about it.

While Simon and Adrian ate their pancakes, Hugh went to his office because, according to him, he needed to check something. When Adrian finished his breakfast and went back to his dads’ room to watch TV, Simon stayed in the kitchen, doing the dishes, and Hugh finally came downstairs. He was pretty quiet, and Simon thought that it probably was because he had told him to eat the burnt pancakes he didn’t dare to throw away, but after he finished them all, he said:

“I lied.”

Simon threw a glance at him. “When did you lie?”

“When I said the storm was homophobic,” Hugh answered.

“Well, of course, you lied, love. Storms don’t have strong political opinions about gay people.”

Hugh didn’t laugh. “What I mean is— that it wasn’t the storm.”

Every joke Simon’s brain could come up with disappeared at that moment. So he continued doing the dishes, and Hugh, thinking he hadn’t made himself clear, continued talking.

“It was someone else. It was a person. I saw them on—”

“I know,” Simon interrupted him. “I know. I’ve always known.”

But even if Simon knew, he still told Hugh to show him the footage because four eyes were better than two (especially considering that the owner of those first two eyes needed to wear glasses). It was all useless, though; the storm made the image all blurry, and the only thing they could see was someone taking it and running away in the middle of the night.

Simon wanted to think that it was just some dumb teen whose friends had challenged him to do it. But when it came to things like those one never really knew.

On Monday, they had promised Adrian to take him to the park that was a few blocks away so they could teach him how to fly a kite, but the thought of going out made him feel as if something bad was going to happen to them if they did, so Simon told Adrian that he and Hugh were feeling sick and that they would stay in their room to get some rest. Adrian asked them if they minded that he stayed there too because he was in the middle of watching a movie he had never seen before.

“Only if we can watch it with you,” Simon answered.

It was a weird day to be alive. They really just stayed there, watching silly cartoons with their kid and listening to him ranting about the weird proportions those characters had.

During the afternoon, Adrian told them he was hungry, so Simon went downstairs to look for something they could eat. He was thinking that maybe they should order something from that Chinese restaurant Tamaya had taken him the other day, when Hugh entered the kitchen and told him Adrian had asked him if he could bring him water.

Simon felt his hands were trembling while he looked inside his wallet for the paper where he had written the restaurant’s phone number.

“Do you want to get another flag?” Hugh asked him.

And something hurt.

Something hurt inside of him. Something started to cry, and to scream, and to flicker, trying to make him invisible to the world.

And it told him, the same way Adrian had told him he was hungry, that someone had taken him by surprise and made a deep cut on his chest.

But Simon didn’t allow it to come out.

He just said: “No.”

And Hugh answered him: “Me neither.”

He called the Chinese restaurant to order some food, while Simon went to their room with Adrian again and cuddled with him, trying to tend to the wounds of that something that was bleeding out inside of him.

Little Simon was crying, and screaming, and flickering, and needed adult Simon to take care of him.

The next day, they talked about the incident with the rest of the Council during their lunch break. It was one of those few occasions the six of them were together in the same room during their work hours. Tamaya was furious about the flag situation. She ranted for a good five minutes without anyone interrupting her about how fucking horrible people were and that she was going to find that little piece of shit and cut his hands off. Kasumi nodded in approval while drinking some horchata she had bought for herself, probably thinking about how to ask Tamaya to let her join her revolution (something she didn’t need to do, since Tamaya always included Kasumi in everything she did). Evander, on the other hand, was very quiet, something that made him feel a little bit relieved because he was not a sensitive person and Simon didn’t want him to... Evander the situation.

He didn’t say anything insensitive that day, though.

In fact, he said something… helpful, even.

“What about a flag made of light?”

Hugh rubbed his eyes and Simon knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth.

Because he said that phrase constantly.

“Shut the fuck up, Evander.”

But Evander didn’t shut up. “Dude, think about it. No one would be able to take down a flag made of light.”

And everyone realized that, now, it was not only one of those strange occasions when the six of them got together to have lunch during their work hours; it was also one of those strange occasions when Evander had an idea that was actually good.

So after spending another hour discussing how they were going to make it work, they decided they were going to lit up the building in rainbow-colored lights.

Tamaya and Hugh were the ones in charge of almost all the operation because Evander said he had already given them the idea, so he didn’t need to do anything else (and then got mad at Hugh when he told the media he was the one who came up with it). Kasumi helped them, but was especially insistent about putting a trans pride flag somewhere in the building, and after they agreed with her, she personally hung it on the main entrance of Headquarters.

They started turning the lights on each night of June since that yeat.

Hugh and Simon still didn’t get a flag. Three nights after they told their friends about what had happened during the thunderstorm, Simon was woken up by the sound of someone crashing against the trash cans and almost jumped out of the window with his dagger on hand to slay whoever was trying to break into their house, but when he peeked out to see what was going on, he realized the “robber” was Kasumi, who had put a bunch of small pride flags on some pots they kept on their porch and started crying as soon as she realized Simon was watching her, not because she was upset the surprise she had for them had been ruined, but because now she was covered in trash.

(That week was like a sign Georgie was sending them from the afterlife to tell them they needed to install a better security system.)

Those were the only flags they kept around the house. They were small and discreet, and, most importantly, no one had taken them away. Why? Well— because they listened to Georgie’s sign and installed a better security system. Not because there weren’t any more homophobes out there who were willing to do it.

Until that moment, those flags (the little ones Kasumi had given them in a rather unconventional way and the one made of light that Evander had come up with) had been more than enough for them. But, two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.

Simon wanted a bigger flag.

No. He wanted two.

The biggest pride flags he could find.

***

That was the reason why, after having pancakes for breakfast (because it had rained during the night), he took the car, took the other three people living in that house with him, and after he was able to read the map, they arrived at a store that, among other things, sold flags like the ones they were looking for.

“I want one too,” Adrian told them when they were at the flag section of the store. “For my room, you know. And I want to get ones for Danna and Nova because I don’t think they have any. They would’ve told me.”

Usually, when Adrian asked for something Simon hadn’t agreed to buy him, like some candy, an action figure, or a pair of sneakers, he would turn around and ask him if he had the money to buy any of those things himself, which would anger him so much he would stop wanting that certain thing.

But that day, he felt like buying them everything they wanted. As if money grew on trees (something he always told his kids didn’t happen.)

“Of course, darling,” he answered, “get them everything you want. It’s pride month.”

“It’s May 31th,” Max said. He was inside the shopping cart Hugh had grabbed the second they entered. It was something he always did, even if they weren’t going to buy a lot of things because, according to him, it felt weird and wrong not to.

“It’s almost pride month,” he corrected himself.

“So can I get something for Nova?” Adrian asked again, just to make sure.

“You can get something for Nova,” Hugh assured him, smiling a little bit.

Adrian quickly turned around and started looking for the flag he wanted while texting Nova about something Simon couldn’t read (not like he was trying to, anyway).

After making sure Adrian stayed on the same aisle as them, they started walking around, gazing at the flags and posters available. Simon felt pretty progressive because he was able to name every single sexuality and gender they were supposed to represent. He imagined Hugh was doing the same thing, but with a lot more difficulty than him. He kept his eyes fixated on each flag longer than Simon did, as if he were trying to remember what they meant, and when he did, he pushed the cart (with Max still inside of it, playing a game on Hugh’s phone because he had forgotten his tablet at home), and the cycle began again.

But suddenly, Simon saw ones that he didn’t recognize.

After three seconds of standing in front of those little flags, someone hit him in the butt with their cart. He turned around immediately, ready to say a really threatening “Hey” to whoever had done it.

Hugh was the only other person who was there. He had been the one who had hit him with the cart.

Suddenly, Simon felt a little bit stupid for thinking someone else had done it.

The two of them maintained eye contact for a couple of seconds until Hugh started looking at his own hands grabbing the cart’s handle.

“Simon.” Before Simon could ask him what happened, he added, with a deep voice: “Move.”

Simon didn’t move. Instead, he hit the cart with his hips, just out of spite. Hugh hit him again with it, making Simon feel the unexpected need to grab the cart with his two hands and use his own weapon against him, but Max was there and they couldn’t act like kids in front of him. So he just hit the cart with his hips again, a little bit harder than the first time, and left it there.

He realized he was just going to be wasting his time asking Hugh if he knew what that flag was supposed to represent.

“Cherub,” he called Max. “Do you recognize this flag?”

Max looked up from the screen. He usually didn’t like it when he called him “cherub” in public, but this time, he didn’t seem mad about it. “Um… no? Ask Adrian—” and continued playing.

Adrian came back with a basket full of pins, and for a second, Simon almost asked him if he really was that naive to believe he was actually going to pay for all of them. But then, he realized that it was only the basket where they kept all of the pins they sold and that Adrian had taken it to show them to them.

“Look, they have so many pins here—” he started taking random pins “—this is the aromantic flag… this is the genderfluid flag—”

“Interesting,” Hugh interrupted him, “but which flag is that one?” and pointed at the one Simon didn’t recognize.

Max took a random pin from the basket and started looking at it with curiosity. Adrian almost didn’t pay attention to it, and after a few seconds, he said: “That one’s yours.”

Simon frowned and took one. It was a handheld flag with green and blue stripes, with a white one in the middle. He touched the polyester with his fingertips as if that was going to give him the ability to communicate with it.

“But we don’t have a flag,” Hugh told Adrian. “I’ve heard of the lesbian fl—”

Adrian took a pin of the lesbian flag. “This one.”

“Yeah— but gay men don’t have one.”

“The rainbow is ours,” Simon said, without taking his eyes away from the blue and green flag he was holding. “Like, it’s for all queer people.”

Hugh directed his attention to Adrian again. “You’re messing with us.”

“I do mess with you a lot,” Adrian admitted, “but this time I’m not because if I do and you get mad, you won’t buy me all the stuff I want to get.”

“Huh.”

Simon knew Adrian and Max were a lot of things, but "dumb" wasn't one of those. And Adrian was especially intelligent when it came to convincing his parents to buy him things.

So he decided to believe him.

“Well, I like it,” he said. Then, he asked Hugh: “Do you like it?”

Hugh grabbed one and observed it for a while. “I like that it has blue on it,” he finally answered, nodding a little bit.

Simon noticed Max was spacing out while playing with the pin he had taken, so he waved the flag on his face, making him laugh and sneeze because the damn thing had a lot of invisible dust Simon didn't notice at first.

“Oh, sh—”

“You know? Maybe we should get two of these,” Hugh said, waving it too, but in his case, not on the face of one of their kids. “For our offices.”

“Matching flags, very romantic.”

Max rubbed his nose. “Why don't you get a big one for the house?”

Simon quickly started to look everywhere on that aisle, and he saw a lot of big versions of the flags he had recognized before (and some of the ones Adrian had mentioned), but there were no gay flags in sight.

“Maybe next year, I guess,” he shrugged. “I don't think they have them here yet.”

He grabbed two of the rainbow flags that were there, inside their respective plastic bags, gave them to Max, and he put them on his lap, still holding that pin. Simon made a quick mental note to remind his future self they needed to pay for that (he didn’t know if it had to with the fact that Max had been spending a lot of time with Maggie, Nova’s sister, but he had developed this weird habit of stealing the most random objects one could think of. Luckily, he limited himself to stealing things from his dads and, one time, from a store.) (Kids went through weird phases when they were Max’s age.)

(Because… it was a phase, right?)

Adrian received a text. “Danna says that she already has a flag, so I’m getting her a pin,” he said after reading it. “And Nova says she wants one too.” Then, his whole face lit up. “And I could get one too so we match.”

“Copycat,” Simon accused him, jokingly. “Your dad and I got matching flags, and now you want to get matching pins with your girlfriend.”

Hugh shook his head, disappointed. “I cannot believe you have betrayed your own family like this.”

They stayed at the store another 30 minutes to buy some other things they needed for the house, and from time to time, when he or Hugh grabbed something, they pretended they didn’t see Adrian and said: “Um, but the copycat may be listening” to a point he told them to stop, and refused to forgive them until they agreed to buy him the flag he didn’t intend to get anymore, but now was going to.

He got the last bisexual flag there was at that store.

***

The first time the four of them were together in their room was last June. Something went wrong with the A/C system of the entire house and the only room where one could stay without having a heatstroke was theirs because their A/C hadn’t broken down for some reason. Adrian and Max were sleeping on the air mattress until Simon (who hadn’t been able to sleep lately) heard that one of them woke up and asked Hugh something. He sat down on the bed, at the same time Hugh moved a little bit to allow Adrian to lay down between the two of them.

Then, in the middle of the dark, his eyes met Max’s.

He looked tiny. Young. Pretty young.

And far away.

Simon couldn’t remember who did it. He didn’t remember who talked that night. It could have been him, even. But he was sure that, at that moment, someone whispered:

“Get in here, kid.”

And Max obeyed. He crawled, raised his arms towards them, and Hugh grabbed him carefully by the collar of his shirt and placed him between him and Adrian.

It was a peaceful night. The bed was big enough for the four of them, and Simon was able to sleep and actually rest for the first time in weeks.

At least until their A/C turned off with a weird sound, and the four of them woke up at the same time, sweaty, uncomfortable, and almost at 11 AM, not because they weren’t necessarily willing to stay there longer, but because the heat was starting to get unbearable and suddenly the bed was too small for three adults and a little kid that was not that little anymore.

“This isn’t a room, this is a— a freaking oven,” Hugh said, while Adrian tried to push him out of bed to get the hell out of there and seek comfort on the air mattress he had abandoned in the middle of the night.

“And we are the... cookies,” Max giggled.

“The turkey,” Simon added.

Max turned around. His whole face was red and his hair was a little bit wet. “The lasagna.”

Simon grabbed him by the cheeks; a discreet way to check if he had a fever. “The cake.”

“The ham.”

“The—”

“Dad. Move.”

Later that day, Simon called someone to fix the A/C, and that was the end of the story.

When they arrived at the house, Adrian wanted to hang his flag as soon as possible, on one of his room’s walls, but Simon insisted that they should iron it first so it looked nicer. Hugh said that he was planning on ironing the ones they had bought for the house and offered Adrian to do the same with his, but when he insinuated that he didn’t trust him enough not to mess up his flag the same way he had messed up his favorite shirt (the one he wanted to wear to take Nova to a nice place during her birthday), Hugh reminded him that the only reason he kept doing that for him was that Adrian didn’t know how to iron yet, and decided that he was going to use that moment as a teaching opportunity. Max made the mistake of laughing at his brother when he thought no one was paying attention to him, but Adrian was and dragged Max into the teaching opportunity with him.

Simon joined too. Just because.

And suddenly, the four of them were in their room again.

With the A/C on, of course.

He didn't know if Hugh had noticed, but he had been so invested in his own explanation, that after he finished ironing the two rainbow flags, he started ironing Adrian’s without realizing it. Adrian, instead of giving up and stop pretending he was paying attention, was looking, kind of mesmerized, how he opened the bag of his blue, purple, and magenta flag, and proceeded to put it on the ironing board, now telling him that when Georgie had tried to teach him how to iron his clothes, she accidentally burnt Evander.

Simon was half-listening to the story, half-listening to the music video that Max was watching on the TV. He was sitting on a big and old ottoman they had bought a long time ago but had never found the perfect place to put it and just stayed there for years until they forgot about it. Max was in front of him, sitting on the floor and resting his back on the ottoman, while he covered his blond hair with small butterfly hair clips he had found at the store and bought just because he thought they were cute (who knows, maybe Nova wanted them for Maggie, or Kasumi could use them for herself, she loved them when she was little).

When all the hair clips were on Max's hair, he took a small mirror they kept in the bathroom (but Simon borrowed it for a minute) and gave it to him so he could see the final result.

“Look at me,” Max exclaimed, laughing. “I look so pretty.”

Simon grabbed one of the hair clips and pulled it a little. “Butterfly hair clips are a popular trend this time of the year.”

“This is definitely going to make me the most popular kid in the playground.”

“Definitely.”

He leaned forward to start taking the butterfly hair clips off Max's hair and was putting them on Max’s open hand when he noticed that he hadn’t let go of the pin they bought him at the store.

(Simon did remember to pay for the thing, but if he hadn’t done it, Max wouldn’t have said anything.)

“That was really nice of you,” Simon said.

Max looked at him, confused. “What?”

“Getting a rainbow pin—” he took his other hand and started putting the hair clips on it so none of them would get lost “—to show support.”

Max didn't say anything and Simon continued with what he was doing. After the music video finished, and another one started playing, Hugh gave Adrian his flag and told him he could go and hang it in his room, and as soon as Max heard that too, he gave Simon the hair clips and followed his brother out of the room, asking him if he could help him with it.

Simon, after realizing the bag where the hair clips came in had been destroyed by Max punching holes in it with the pin, took one of the empty pill bottles he kept in his drawers and put them there.

He closed the pill bottle and realized Hugh had been gazing at him during all this time, slightly leaning on the ironing board. “What?”

“That’s my pill bottle, Si,” he told him.

“Ah—” Simon pressed his lips “—can I have it?”

“No.” Hugh smiled at him. “Yes, you can.”

“So funny. Come here—” and patted the bed mattress.

Hugh, being extremely careful not to touch the flags he just ironed, lied on the bed and sighed.

“Do you want me to play with your hair?” Simon asked him with a soft voice.

He closed his eyes and nodded.

After a while of the two of them just being silent, he said, “Hey… I heard what you told Max, by the way.”

“The butterfly hair clips trend?”

“The pin thing.”

“What about it?”

Hugh opened his eyes, just a little bit. “Just don't tell Max I told you, all right? Because he told me he wouldn't tell anyone else until he was sure, but… I think it's important the two of us know,” he explained.

Simon was starting to feel his palms get a little bit sweaty. “Okay— but just tell me, please.”

He checked overhearing their conversation one last time, and that the kids were still at Adrian's room. “Max told me a couple of days ago that he has been thinking about… what he likes.”

He stopped playing with his hair for a second. But then, he continued.

It was his way of coping with the feeling of his stomach twisting inside of him. “What he likes?” Hugh nodded again. “Huh. And has he— does he has an idea or—”

“No, he doesn't,” Hugh answered. “He just knows that he doesn't like girls. Or that's what he told me.”

Simon raised his eyebrows and scoffed. “That sounds like a lot of things. Not liking girls.”

Hugh scoffed too. “That's what I told him. And that he can take all the time he needs to figure it out. Because he can—”

“Yes. Yes, of course, he can,” Simon assured, with determination. “Life is longer than we think it is.”

They stayed silent again. And Simon couldn’t help but feel relive inside his head the moment he called Max an ally, feeling his stomach twisting even more at every second it passed.

“I feel bad.”

“Why?”

His palms started to sweat again. “Because I called him an ally.”

“It’s all right. You didn’t know.”

“I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”

“You didn’t know,” Hugh repeated.

But Simon didn’t listen. “Si.”

Then, Hugh grabbed him carefully by the wrist, and, a little bit surprised, Simon tilted his head. Hugh usually didn't interrupt him when he was playing with his hair.

“What's wrong?” he asked.

“No, what’s wrong with you?” he deadpanned

Simon knew him well enough to know he wasn’t trying to be rude. It was just his way of asking things. Especially when he was genuinely worried and didn’t think about modulating his tone so it It fitted the situation better.

He sighed. Because he didn’t want to lie to him. “I assumed Max was straight.”

As soon as he said it, he realized how silly it had sounded phrased like that. But he also noticed his voice had broken and he had to put a hand on his mouth so he didn’t start crying.

And Hugh, instead of saying the encouraging phrase he expected him to say…

He smiled.

And for some reason, that made him want to cry even more. “Ew, why are you smiling?” he asked.

Hugh took his time to answer him. “Oh, it’s nothing. I think I'm just… happy.”

“Well, I’m not.”

Hugh smiled more. “I know, love, I know… It's just one of those things…” he tried to find the right words this time. “One of those things I didn't think we were going to go through together,” he kept saying. “Like… we're going to be together when Max finally discovers who he really is. Like we did with Adrian. And like other people did with us. And that makes me happy.”

Simon wanted to tell him to shut up and let him cry and be dramatic as much as he wanted because he considered he deserved it. But he tried to do it, the only thing that could come out of his lips was almost imperceptible “Yeah…” and then, a small tear started running down his face. Hugh quickly noticed this and wiped it away with his finger. Simon scoffed and looked away, rubbing his nose.

“Hey…” and he moved aside so Simon could lay beside him.

The space they had was a little too small but he didn’t mind because now he had an excuse to be closer to him.

And there it was again. Little Simon. Little Simon was there again with them.

Just that this time he wasn’t crying, or screaming, or even flickering. He was just… existing.

And all he wanted to do was to exist.

When Hugh held him that way, sometimes he felt as if it was the first time he did it. Which made Simon (and the sad, angry and scared part of Simon) wonder if there was a sad, angry and scared part of Hugh that also craved that comfort and validation, and if it was the one who hugged that younger version of Simon until they convinced each other that everything was fine.

That there was nothing wrong with neither of them.

Because sometimes it was as if people didn’t remind them that as many times as they needed. So the only option they had was to be there for the other, and tell him that it was okay to hug, to kiss, to touch, and to share until the one who was talking ended up convincing both of them.

Love wasn’t temporary.

And their love was as powerful as they wanted it to be.

Those younger versions of themselves wanted to stay like that forever every single time. But their adult versions knew they couldn’t do it because they had other responsibilities that they needed to attend.

Installing those two pride flags that were next to them, for example.

Their younger versions were excited to do that, but they also asked them if they could rest together a little bit longer. And neither of them had the heart to tell them no.

Hugh started to play with a lock of Simon’s hair. “We’ll be there to catch him.”

He knew he wasn’t talking about either of them. Even if, with his eyes closed, he could see little Hugh and little Simon holding each other’s hands and throwing themselves into the world, a little less sad, and angry, and scared than before, without being sure if there was going to be someone down there to catch them if everything went wrong.

“Together.”

And Simon agreed. “Together.”

***

“He’s going to fall.”

Simon rolled his eyes.

“No, he’s not,” Hugh told Max. “I’m here.”

“But what if—”

“Done,” Simon announced before Max could even finish his sentence. “Now, let’s just hope these things stay there as long as possible, because this ladder makes me anxious. I was trembling while putting the first flag.”

Max clicked his tongue. “It’s a windy day. The wind could have pushed the ladder or something.”

Now it was Hugh’s turn to roll his eyes. “Take my hand.”

Simon went down the ladder without letting go of his hand. Then, while Hugh took it and quickly went inside the garage to put it there, Adrian pricked his little brother up with his own rainbow flag pin, and in response, Max punched him in the stomach with all his might (which wasn’t that much). Adrian laughed and pretended to be hurt, but immediately asked him if he wanted him to help him with his pin.

Simon noticed that Adrian had already put his pin of the bisexual flag on his clothes, and watching him pull Max a little bit closer so he didn’t prink him again (now by accident), while Max gazed at his hands, trying to memorize his movements so he could do the same thing when he wanted to wear that pin again, made his mouth curved into a smile.

When his husband came back from the garage, he thought he was going to tell them to stop blocking the sidewalk and get in the house so they could continue with their day. But instead of doing that, he walked towards them and looked at their waving flags, flying on their mansion for the first time in years.

Adrian grabbed Max by the waist and carried him on his shoulders so he could have a better view. And he realized that there would be a day when they would throw themselves into the world completely alone, without knowing how people were going to act and aware that two of them were brave enough to take whatever blows that they were going to throw at them.

But they weren’t going to do it alone. Because Hugh, Simon, and their hurting parts weren’t going to spend a day without reminding them that they were going to be there, ready to catch them every single time they needed it.

Simon started to look for Hugh’s hand just to realize, Hugh was already looking for his too, and when they found each other, he couldn’t contain himself and stood on his tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. Then, Hugh smiled and kissed him back, this time, on the corner of his lip.

Simon felt proud of what they were.

He was really proud.

And he hoped they were proud too.

#renegades #archenemies #supernova #renegades trilogy #hugh everhart #simon westwood #adrian everhart #max everhart #everhart-westwood family #the warden and the captain are sitting in a tree #obsi's writs #i should get an oscar for the homophobic storm joke

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bae-roman · 3 years

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I know it’s a bit early but I remember you saying you love Christmas so I hope this is fine but can I get a holiday themed [if they don’t celebrate actual Christmas] bunni and roman drabble that’s on the more mature side and maybe before they have kids [other than Nadia oviously but maybe she’s not involved] thank you!!!! 😁

Ahh! Thanks for the request babe! I LOOOOOOOVE Christmas SO MUCH. Honestly You could send me Christmas prompts in like April and I’d still be down.

I actually have a drabble I was working on last year so I’m just going to add onto that! Nadia may be involved a tad in the beginning but I’ll make it more mature at the end!

Putting some under the cut bc it gets smutty towards the end!

This would be their first Christmas together after bunny moved in. She had told Roman many times before about her love of everything Christmas related and he’d seen how perfectly decorated her old home had been. Hell, even the year before bunny bought piles of decorations to Roman’s house after discovering all he had was a tree and a wreath which was “completely and utterly unacceptable” and “akin to child abuse” as bunny had said.

Roman was definitely not the most into Christmas, and had Nadia not been a factor, he would likely ignore the holiday altogether.

When Bunny cared about something she really throws herself into it and what Roman didn’t know is that Bunny had actually been toning down her Christmas spirit in the previous years. Since she had never lived alone, she always had to compromise on her decor. Even though her previous roomies were her friends and had a bit more tolerance for her antics, she still wanted to be respectful of common living areas and not shove her decorations down their throats, even if that meant having only 1 Christmas tree.

So, now living with Roman in what she considered her home as well, she was finally able to go all out, and let me tell you - she did. Roman went to work on December 1st to his house looking normal and came back that night to something like this

(Of course their house doesn’t look like this, but it’s how bunny hung their lights)

Like Roman is practically blinded by it while driving down the street.

Additionally, all the trees on their property were also lit up and decorated just as extravagantly. Even if Roman wasn’t a bit of a grinch, he’d still consider this too much. When he entered the house things only got worse. While aesthetically it looked good, Roman couldn’t get over the fact that his home now closely resembled the inside of a Christmas store.

He was greeted by Nadia running up to him, like she always did when he come home, “Don’t you like it Daddy? Bunny said I didn’t have to go to school if I helped! Isn’t it pretty?”

Nadia was obviously very excited about the state of the house and as much as Roman loathed it, the last thing he wanted to do was disappoint his little girl so, he hid his disdain behind a fake smile and said the house looked lovely.

When Nadia dragged him away to show him the Christmas tree in her room he caught Bunny’s eye and sent her a quick scowl, but Bunny only laughed.

After seeing the pink Christmas explosion that occurred in Nadia’s room, he took a quick look through the rest of the house, discovering every room had their own tree and separate theme. If he wasn’t so horrified that he had to live here for the next month, he’d be somewhat impressed.

The one thing he actually did like was the main Christmas tree in the living room. Bunny had moved things around (or rather, had paid many people to move things around) so that it was centered around this colossal tree. The thing was huge but beautiful all the same. It reminded Roman of one he’d seen as a child on a trip with his father to Time’s square.

While he didn’t love the rest of the house, he appreciated that bunny had left his office alone and kept their bedroom decor to a minimum. He bitched about the decorations all month long but ultimately, didn’t order her to remove them.

This would come to bite him in the ass the following year, though, because Bunny went even harder the next year.

Now, let’s skip to the evening of Christmas day...

After they had put Nadia down for bed Roman and Bunny went back to the living room for a drink.

The two of them were talking about nothing in particular for a while before roman started wandering around the tree. It was large enough that Bunny couldn’t see him on the other side but she heard some shuffling so she called out, asking what he was doing.

Roman re-emerged holding a present, “There was one left, it says it’s for you”

“Ooh! Does it say who it’s from? I don’t recognize the wrapping paper” Bunny was too excited about the prospect of another gift that she didn’t even notice the odd way Roman was holding the box. His arms were hanging low and he was holing it on both sides, right below his waist.

Just as bunny was about to snatch it out of his hands, he stopped her. She looked up at him and pouted, “hey!”

“It’s uh really heavy. I guess whatever’s in here is pretty huge. Maybe just open the lid?”

“Fine, just give it to me”

When it came to presents, bunny was almost like a child. She loved gifts and surprise ones were even better.

Once again, ignoring Roman’s odd behavior, she opened the lid of her gift and found ... Roman’s dick.

Bunny looked up at Roman, a shit eating grin plastered on his face, and looked back down at the contents of the box again before bursting into laughter.

“Wow, just what I needed!”, Bunny played along, “no wonder it was so heavy, maybe you should put it down...”

Bunny took Roman’s hand and led him to the couch. He stood by the side as she got on her knees, resting her elbows on the arm of the loveseat, facing him. She carefully took off the box, freeing his member and taking it in her hands. Roman undid the buttons of his pants and let them fall down while Bunny took the tip of his length into her mouth. Roman pushed her hair out of her face and gripped it at the back of her head, nudging her head to take more of him in. She obeyed and slowly took more and more of him in until she was at the base, Roman let out a soft groan and leaned over to pull her top down to expose her chest. He licked his thumb and forefinger before reaching down and playing with her nipples.

Bunny continued to increase her pace until she felt Roman beginning to twitch inside her. She let him fall out of her mouth and got up to give him a kiss. She felt his tongue battle against hers as their bodies pushed against eachother.

Bunny ran her hands down from Roman’s neck to the collar of his shirt and tugged at the buttons until they ripped off. Roman slid his hands down her body, stopping to grip her bunched up top and dragging it down over her ass. Once he let the fabric go, he cupped Bunny’s ass in his hands and lifted her so that her legs were wrapped around him.

The fabric of her tights on his bare cock hardened him further and when the pair broke apart, he set bunny down on her feet and quickly removed the rest of her clothing so that they were both naked.

Bunny went back to the couch, this time sitting on it normally and widened her legs. Roman licked his lips and knelt down, putting a hand on each of her knees.

He spread her legs even further and pushed her back before bringing his plump lips to her core. He teased her at first, nipping at her thighs and licking her all over, except for her clit. He knew how crazy that drove her. When he heard her let out a little whine, he smirked to himself before giving her clit his full attention. Bunny arched her back and tried to move her thighs together but Roman’s firm grip stopped her from being able to interrupt his work. Roman felt her walls begin to tighten around his fingers and, just as she did to him, stopped his actions.

They both had a hate-love relationship with edging eachother. On one hand, being so close to your climax and then not reaching it was almost unbearable however, they knew that the sex to come would be 10 times more wild.

Almost like she could read his mind, Bunny flipped herself over on the couch so that she was again on her knees but this time her upper body leant against the back of it.

Roman ran his member across her slit, coating it in her juices before sliding it inside her. He took full control of Bunny’s hips and made achingly slow movements. He began to quicken his pace and it wasn’t long before he was bottoming out inside of her. They were both moaning fairly loudly. Roman ran one of his hands down from her ass to her clit and played with it while he fucked her. It wasn’t long before he once again felt her walls constrict around him but this time he let her reach her high. He followed not long after and rested on top of her.

When they were finished, bunny made sure to pick up their clothes and head upstairs. Roman, who had followed her into their room, lay on their bed while she went into the closet. Roman assumed that she was putting the laundry away or something since she was in there for a while but was pleasantly surprised when she came back out in... this

“So, I guess we had the same idea ...”, Bunny said as she posed in the doorway, showing off her little outfit. She looked at him over her shoulder and asked, “You ready to open your gift?”

#roman godfrey imagine #Roman Godfrey #christmas themed #christmas #smut #hemlock grove imagine #hemlock grove #request #Bill Skarsgård

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sincerelybubbles · 4 years

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Hi, could I please have a A,G,H,K for Shinsou and a B,R for Ashido? Sorry if that's a lot lol! Only just found your blog but its great!

sorry this took so long!! thanks for the compliment love :) everything’s under the cut bc it got a tad long. i didn’t know if you wanted platonic or romantic for R for mina, so i did both <3

Hitoshi Shinsou

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Shinsou isn’t a super affectionate guy typically

He definitely isn’t into PDA

He’s not super touchy, but he does tend to stand closer to you then he needs to, just so that you know he’s there

While he won’t reach out and grab your hand, if you reach out for his he won’t let go. He doesn’t mind small things like that, just don’t expect him to initiate it and don’t take it too far. He doesn’t want you to hang off of him, but he does like just simply holding your hand

When you’re hanging out with a smaller group of friends, he tends to relax and appreciate some affection more, so he’ll wrap his arm around you or reach for your hand first

One hundred percent the type of guy to only use his phone with one hand so that his other can be around your shoulders or waist

He doesn’t see any reason to kiss you in public, so he doesn’t. The most he’ll do around others is kiss your forehead.

Alone? He’ll kiss you as much as you want

If it’s just the two of you, Shinsou becomes a cuddle-bug. He prefers playing video games with you beside him, either laying on his shoulder, with your head in his lap, or letting him lay against you

He likes the reassurance that you’re there without having to say anything.

And if you play with his hair? He’s out, he will fall asleep so quickly

Something I whole-heartedly believe? Shinsou likes to dance but only alone w u

I’m talking cheesy slow dancing

But also dance parties where he can just watch you relax and let-loose and pull you close if he wants

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

THE absolute gentlest

Physically, he never does anything that could even possibly hurt you

Because of the kids bullying him when he was little for being a villain, Shinsou has spent a lot of time making sure that he’s not ever rough with people, and that extended into your relationship completely

If he needs to get past you, he does the cute little hand-at-the-small-of-your-back thing where he gently nudges you out of the way

He gently tugs your wrist when he wants your attention

And even in the heat of a fight against a villain (if you fight with him) he’s oh-so-aware of where you are at all times so he can protect you and ensure that nothing happens to you.

Emotionally, he can be distant at times

He’s a great listener and gives the best advice

But, he really isn’t so great at the sharing thing

He wants to open up to you, but doesn’t quite know how

He tries his hardest to be gentle with your feelings and how you’re coping, but will sometimes harden up if you try and approach how he’s feeling

He apologizes if he snaps when you try and talk to him about specific things, he really doesn’t mean to hurt your feelings by being so distant with his own feelings, he just doesn’t know how to talk about them without them consuming him

After a while of bottling things up, he eventually breaks down and tells you everything

And keeps you up all night doing it, oops

But after that final wall is broken down, it’s slightly easier to get him to talk and he feels a bit more comfortable opening up

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He likes hugs more then he would ever admit

Shinsou craves your hugs, but doesn’t really know how to initiate them

It doesn’t take too much time for you to realize that he likes your hugs a lot though

When you hug him, he always leans into them and holds you tight, pressing his face into the curve of your neck

His hugs are warm, tight, and lingering

And when you pull away he always kisses your forehead, without fail

He won’t reject a hug from you if it’s in public, but it’ll be shorter then normal and he’ll pull away first, kissing you briefly before turning away with a slight blush

It’s not that he’s embarrassed to be with you, he just likes the fat that you’re his and your relationship is something he’d rather be private and kept between you two

Alone? His hugs can last for several minutes

He doesn’t like to talk while he hugs you, but rather sits there and closes his eyes and relaxes

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Shinsou loves kissing

And he’s really good at it

i mean,,,,

He is so gentle at first, taking his time and making you melt before suddenly flipping the switch and leaving you breathless

And he holds you so close while you kiss, his hand on your hip to keep you close, his other hand holding your cheek

He tastes faintly of peppermint and coffee

He loves kissing your forehead or nose, he likes the way you scrunch your nose when he lands a peck just on the tip of it

Tired Shinsou requires many kisses and you tease him for being sloppy with them, half of the time not even landing on your mouth but slightly below on your chin before he readjusts and kisses you properly

He absolutely melts when you kiss his collarbones or the corner of his mouth

But, to be fair, this boy just loves your kisses so much that he’ll take them anywhere you wish to give them

He’s not really a tease when it comes to kissing, he’d rather use his time making you both happy with the kiss rather then leave you both wanting for more

Even when he has plenty of time, he keeps the teasing to a minimum, favoring kissing you fully and relishing in how he leaves you breathless, trying to avoid keying you into the fact that he’s just as affected

Mina Ashido

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Mina would one hundred percent approach you first

She thinks you look cool and wants to talk to you

Even if you’re shy, she wouldn’t be phased, talking enough for the both of you to fill the silence

And if you match her outgoing energy? Even better

Mina prefers close friendships rather then just people she hangs out with, so she’ll make an actual effort to get to know you

Mina tends to invite herself over to your house or dorm at the beginning of your friendship, but as it develops it’s not even a question if you two will hang out all night on a weekend night. You just do

Mina is the type of protective friend who will absolutely fight for you

She’s a good listener, as long as you treat her the same

She’s all about supporting you, but wants the same behavior in return

Also, the crackhead friend

Can and will text you at three am

“Why have there been no recent sightings of the Loch Ness Monster? Do you think he’s okay?”

“Mina, it’s 2:34 in the morning. Go to bed.”

Tends to pick up things for you from the store casually just because she knows you’ll appreciate it and won’t accept excessive “thank you”s for it. She got you the sweater because she knew it’s look cute on you, so put it on and look cute, no need to say thank you

There’s always a fifty fifty chance that she’ll disappear for a few hours and then call you saying that she’s four hours away, lost, but has the best story to tell you about this one guy. . .

Also drags you along on her adventures whenever she can

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Platonic:

The road trip the two of you took on a whim along roller coaster road

You actually came to her and said you wanted to go, so you packed the car within an hour and set off

Mina made a playlist and you drove and had the wonderful idea to pack the car with blankets so it was cozy

It was just the two of you and you talked for hours

She loves this memory because it was the first time she really felt that you two were connecting and getting to know each other

You guys had had sleepovers before, of course, but those were packed with expectations, this was free, spontaneous, and she felt like she could tell you anything and you would just understand

And after that? You two were indubitably best friends, closer then ever before

Romantic

Definitely your first date

You looked so cute and nervous waiting for her to show up, and the endless compliments within the first five minutes were absolutely adorable

You were so sweet and, luckily, loosened up quite quickly into the date, making it so much more fun with easy banter

She’ll never forget how surprised she was that she was there with you and it was going well

It wasn’t awkward after the first few minutes and she knew that she wouldn’t rather be anywhere else

You made her feel comfortable, accepted, heard, and happy

She can’t remember a night where she smiled or laughed more

She spent the night after in her bed, chest feeling light and a smile on her face that she couldn’t loose, not that she was trying

#shinsou #shinso #shinso x reader #shinsou x reader #hitoshi #hitoshi x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #shinso hitoshi x reader #bnha shinso hitoshi #bnha x reader #bnha #my hero academia #my hero imagines #my hero headcanons #mina #mina x reader #ashido x reader #mina ashido

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isolctions · 3 years

Text

...........so let’s finally talk abt what the actual fucking fuck is wrong with ai’rina rue castillo, huh gang? :-)

(everyone go thank @armsdealing & @durcgs beating the anxiety out of me in order to post this info-dump.)

...before we get into things, now’s the part where i establish a warning for triggers to be discussed in this lengthy headcanon post. there’s gonna be some talks of mental illness, slight alcohol abuse, & breaking down topics of familial abuse, mental abuse, religious abuse, emotional manipulation, and elements of non-con. be warned.

a’ight, so look. i’ve hinted in between threads & development that rue had a not-so-fantastic upbringing that impacted how she perceives herself, how she interacts with others, (in terms of her career, at least) and how she views personal relationships, but i didn’t realize how........severely her upbringing messed with her mental health until i started working through how i wanted to plot out rue’s behavior for her next album release. at first, i had the idea that she decided to take more time for herself & sort of distance herself from the public / media circus plaguing her life so that she can create much more authentic music. then i actually listened to the EP that i’m basing her album off of and thought “...oh.” THEN, i looked over old meme responses & old threads / mentions of her family and how she grew up and thought, not for the last time since piecing everything together: “....oh. oh fucking boy.”

so, that horrible realization dawning on me, let’s talk about rue’s childhood.

i wrote a thing like, two years ago almost (that upon looking for last night, i realized i didn’t actually share it w/ anyone but alex in our discord server & only mentioned a portion of it in rue’s moodboard that i made) that talked vaguely about how rue felt growing up. and it’s worth noting that...she’s the middle of ten fucking siblings. and that’s just the brothers & sisters she knew of that stayed with their mother. and on top of that, not all of those siblings are the product of rue’s father, or even rue’s mother for that matter. and it’s also worth noting that rue not only grew up in poverty, but she grew up never having any actual space that had solely been her own, or even an article of clothing that had belonged entirely to her. so naturally, as a young child, rue sort of became torn between starved for attention & wanting someone to pay attention to her (whether that be her older siblings including her in something, whatever teacher they had for the next six months to call on her for something, for her mother to miraculously show up with her unknown father in tow one day, & for literally anyone to be her friend, pls god Notice her!!!) and for people to simply leave her the hell alone. obviously, this carried into adulthood.

and branching off from the whole “lack of space” point i made, rue wound up growing up to become increasingly more private as time went on because she literally cannot remember a single moment where she wasn’t squished between a bunch of people. driving around in their minivan? rue’s packed in the middle of the second row. nowhere to sleep while on the road? rue’s smacked between gigantic older brothers & clingy little siblings. need to use to bathroom? lmao, she better off going outside!!! gotta change clothes? yeah, good luck with that. it was to the point where, when rue got her first period, she was humiliated by it — not because ‘omg, am i a woman now?? wtf is this???’, but because she ruined the one good sheet that she slept on with her sisters & they were super pissed at her and her mother withheld pay from her for weeks. >:/

already, rue grew up never having shit to herself until the record deal. but she also dealt with literally...so much abuse from her mother. rue thought this was the norm growing up, because all of her siblings faced their mother’s wrath at some point & all of them eventually learned to just deal with the shit and do what she says if they wanted to avoid it. they all compartmentalized and repressed to varying degrees. there’s a lot in which rue has repressed so deeply, she doesn’t even remember if it seriously happened or if she was just making it up bc it was so fucking bizarre for a parent to act that way towards their child, lol?? (and this behavior of “i’m just going to do what you say bc i don’t want to deal with whatever bullshit you’re up to if i say no” also carried into business / personal relationships, which is...very Yikes it’s amazing she didn’t get scammed or worse!)

so sure, people have complimented her for her exceptional manners & her cleanliness & how quiet / polite she is & how amazing her posture is, bc seriously, this girl will never experience back problems in her life bc her posture is so on par. but where rue typically smiles / responds bashfully, she can’t exactly just up and say: “oh, yeah, my mom used to slap the shit out of me ‘til i bruised if i spoke out of turn or talked back, and if i reached for anything in the store or put my elbows on the table she’d slap a ruler against my palms ‘til i got welts, and she’d make me read verses all night without sleep if i did anything wrong and make me straighten up and kneel on rice if i slouched or took a nap in church and humiliated me in public if i so much as looked at someone of the opposite sex on the street n oh, did i mention i also cleaned houses for rich millionaire snobs from ages twelve to sixteen and if they said or did literally anything to me i wasn’t allowed to defend myself?? ya i’m real proper :)”

(and normal ppl will go: “...................what the FUCK is WRONG with you????”)

but oh man, babe, we’re not done yet!!! rue, being the product of both a highly religious and a highly exploitative household...had difficulty when she started reaching puberty & noticing her classmates. plural, because it wasn’t just boys that she began to secretly have crushes on / fantasize abt, sexually or domestically. she also realized, oh shit, that she started looking at girls differently too. and that literally put the fear of god into her heart, bc if her mother ever found out that she was having non-platonic feelings for the girls in her classrooms, she wasn’t going to be pissed. her mom might have actually tried to kill her. or have her exorcised or something. she knew the shit would be severe, and she wanted no fucking parts of her mother or her siblings inserting the church into her personal life, thank u very much! so rue started suppressing her romantic feelings for people to the point where if adult rue receives intimacy, she’s like “...is this allowed? is this not illegal??????” while simultaneously being like “i will be a slut. just this once. as a Treat to teenage me. :>” regardless, rue learned to molotov cocktail literally any emotion or thought she had, bc she was paranoid that it would give her mother a vision.

now, onto the perils of exploitation...she should’ve been used to it really, what with her mother forcing herself & siblings to lure customers into their shop with promises of visions and palm readings and the wonders of the cards and overexerting their abilities. same with housekeeping, like being of service to people was normal! but when seventeen year old rue decided to sign a record deal and break from home, she wasn’t thinking critically about what the fuck all of this would entail. and as described in this headcanon post abt her discography, her early music was the product of allowing people much older & powerful than you to influence your work & manipulate your values. so rue was very much parading around as someone she wasn’t, someone much more confident and badass and self-assured than she really was, and she was so impressionable back then that it literally makes her sick to think back on it now. she calls it her puppy phase and phrases the eagerness to please execs as ‘tongue wagging’. homegirl hardly even knew her name anymore, bc all she was and all she would ever be was rue, the star, the vocal temptress. not ai’rina, the help or ai’rina, the seer, ai’rina, the weak little nobody. but later on, the subtle manipulation was less about decision making & how they wanted her to sound, and more about how they wanted to present the latest trophy star — because after all, she was pretty. people liked her. she sung really well. suitors weren’t too far off into the distant future. so why not kill two birds with one stone by having a high ranking label artist keep tabloids talking by being seen in public with a few heart throbs? surely, there’s no harm in manipulating an eighteen/nineteen year old’s love life! under the guise of improving her social skills & relations with fellow artists and the media and the like, rue gave into the pressures and let herself be taken out on dates & seen at awards shows with a few guys. no big deal. it was only for a night or so, she could handle the attention. then, one night appearances turned into week long appearances. pretending to date for only a month! completely innocent, positive exposure. :)

(adult rue, looking back @ younger rue: you stupid fucking BITCH-)

yeah, so once her label/management realized that she was turning into a hot commodity, they lost no sleep at allowing their nineteen year old artist to be seen ‘dating’ 20-24+ year old men occasionally. and whatever happened after their public appearances were none of their business. plus, she was good at pretending and being arm candy — so rue experienced her first kiss, her first dates, and her first times with people who she’s almost certain hardly remember their time with her, and really only got involved with her for a mutual career boost. very few of them does she actually remember in a positive light, and the ones that were positive, still depress her bc lmao all of it was fake, even if they were really nice & made it less like a chore and more like they actually wanted to be with her!! even fewer of them were actual relationships. meaning, said person asked her out of their own volition, not bc their managers thought it’d be a decent match on camera. it was evil, really, what her old label made of her. (like, she makes funny jokes that her first time having sex was awkward bc she had a vision halfway through that bummed her out but in reality it was just...really more of a transaction that made her feel icky n progressively worse abt herself until it happened more often and now she just doesn’t care anymore. sex is just sex, u know?? everything’s fake. why you gotta make it personal.) this whole fiasco took over the larger part of rue’s career from like, age nineteen to age twenty-two or so, and she suffered dramatically from this because what is even a genuine, authentic relationship at this point? what do u mean you want to get to know me? did ur manager tell you to ask so many damn questions & try to get to know me? obviously you want something from me bc that’s why everyone gets into a relationship or has sex with me, stop confessing feelings for me u fucking loser. >:/

like...rue doesn’t even have friends. outside of her relationship with marcelo / @armsdealing (which, AGAIN, i think was initially arranged to promote her song be honest, how fucking IRONIC), rue does not have any personal relationships with anyone. i mean, she likes her latest management team since switching labels...her hair stylist is rly cool & her make up artist is fun to vacation with...she met a few other celebrities at events that she occasionally texts & has dinner with...yeah, she’s basically a pretty hermit. her family is more or less out of the question — the few brothers & sisters she does still have a positive relationship with (like, four of them lol), they don’t see each other in person often / mainly communicate via groupchat and facetime calls when all of them have time. she tried visiting with her mother over the years, but the verbal & emotional abuse/curses placed on her/accusations of being an imp of satan for singing to the public/memories of being forced to perform psychic shows & clean for chump change keeps her from trying to mend that relationship. like, being gaslit by ur mother isn’t really the vibe, u know? and bottom line, rue simply is a very shy and socially stunted individual who does not know how to communicate like a normal human being anymore. hell, her life revolves around pretending for strangers at this point!

now, onto how...all of That ties into her behavior / state of mind during this next album. so, after riding the wave of success from her third album & the circus that came with that. rue sort of had a fucking existential crisis. came out of absolutely nowhere. (not nowhere — one of her brothers called her out of the blue and called her ai’rina and she literally went “who the fuck is that?”) told her label that she was taking some time in between albums bc she was creatively zapped or whatever bullshit excuse she came up with that somehow worked bc this new label was a little more understanding than the last. vacationed for a little, did some hot girl shit, bought a house, tried to see her mother again for whatever reason then got the shit slapped out of her and finally screamed at her to never touch her again unless she wanted to Throw Hands. cried and got drunk abt it. that took six months. bullshat to her label again, dropped like two songs to smooth things over, decided to focus on magic for a little to ground her, started partying with label mates then going home shitfaced & hungover every other morning. that took eight months. dropped one last song, promptly deleted her twitter, tried to write songs again, got a call from her mother and panicked and got drunk. that took a year. vacationed some more, got even drunker, was bed ridden for like three months because holy shit i’m having so many visions and if i see One More Thing my brain is going to explode, couldn’t separate the present from the future for weeks after that, told absolutely no one about that, cried every day & had an identity crisis, dyed her hair to appease the identity crisis goblins. that took a year and a half.

now, she just chilling. dyed her hair again. scaring her siblings halfway to death bc she keeps going on benders & sending cryptic texts abt the visions she’s getting but they’re so incomprehensible that they’re seriously considering moving in to get her fucking shit together. had a vision that she was married with kids and had a two week identity crisis appeased only by moving houses. (she was in a neighborhood with families...too much Drama and visions. turned into a really cool song tho.) started calling herself by her birth name of ai’rina in private. reactivated twitter to send cryptic tweets that her album is coming. working on said album. trying to drink less but kinda failing bc how is one simply supposed to make a highly personal dual album without alcohol??? prbly somewhere crying in marcelo’s lap or smthn. just vibes.

like...i feel like, in my head, the Theme of her project is wrapped up in identity. her relationship with fame and whatnot. trying to coax her childhood self out of its’ shell so that she can function like a normal goddamn person for once and re-establish her values. like, if someone went to any of rue’s residences right now, it’s just songbooks everywhere and wine glasses and her crystals and shit, bc she still has people’s futures to read for money. (yes, she never really got out of that portion of her childhood, but hey it pays.) it was all very confusing to experience at once while in bed at four in the morning & even though i tried organizing and debated on this, it’s still a Lot. which is why i am once again asking for plots that would allow her to dissect all these Things

so yeah. album four otw, with a side of confronting our childhood & facing our traumas!

#rue — facts #imagine me making a cohesive hc post #it wont happen but like imagine how sexy that would be #anyway this is long and me thinks stream of conscious hc posting is both therapeutic and Exhausting #but i had a lot of thots abt her that needed to be shared to...yeah #abuse tw #alcoholism tw #long post tw #i feel like that its always sunny meme??? yall know which one #but anyways this is somehow overwhelming n embarrassing that i typed so much so i am going to hiding!#UNLESS!...........u want to plot with this Disaster of a woman :eyes:

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ohpretty-baby · 4 years

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secure

✰ paring: namjoon x reader ; established relationship

✰ genre: fluff

✰ synopsis: “why do you love me?” ; basically namjoon is a big softie for reader

✰ warnings: cursing like once lmao

✰ word count: 3.5k

today i spent my time thinking about the concept of love and how people love differently. this is the product of that. also yes i was thinking about this bc i was listening to 5sos’ new album, calm.

It was 1 AM. The two of you were sprawled lazily on the new couch you got. Legs and arms were intertwined as you let the hours slip by, your eyes glued to the television screen and your bodies glued onto the soft couch.

Ever since you and your boyfriend of 10 months, Kim Namjoon, had become official, things had just gotten better and better. Wherever he went, success and happiness prospered. Now, you weren’t one to believe in superstitions, but Namjoon was like a good luck charm to you. Whenever he was around you, you were always happy and good things came to you. Namjoon was just good in general, always taking care of you and always showering you with gifts.

In fact, just last night, Namjoon got you that new couch that the two of you were laying down on. Even though he told you he was coming over that night, it was taking him a long time to get to your house. You figured that he was working extra hard at the studio, which also explained why he wasn’t responding to any of your texts.

Unbeknownst to you, however, he actually decided that he wanted to replace that tattered down brown couch you had in your house. He always felt uncomfortable on it. It was too scratchy. You’d always just roll your eyes at his antics, explaining that you couldn’t afford another big purchase like that right now. So he took it upon himself to replace it for you. He had actually left work early in order to find the perfect couch for you. When he reached the furniture store, he ended up getting a white sofa, not really knowing what the difference was, but he was sure that you wouldn’t care since it was so comfy. It was one of those sofas that you could just sink in and lay down in all day.

He still wasn’t responding to any of your texts, so you figured that maybe he wasn’t coming over anymore. And that was okay. You knew that sometimes work demanded a lot out of him and you didn’t want to bother him. To your surprise though, you heard a doorbell ring. You couldn’t really believe the sight before you. Namjoon was standing at the door, with a slick sheen of sweat glossing his skin. A huge box accompanied him, and he greeted you with a grin.

You smiled at the memory, also realizing that Namjoon was in your arms right now. The boy snuggled into your chest, and you unconsciously put a hand up to his brown hair, combing the strands calmly through your fingers. He hummed in delight, tightening his grip on your waist.

Even though you were half his size, Namjoon was always insistent on resting his head on your chest. It made holding your waist easier for him, which also meant he could hold you closer to him. You, of course, found this endearing, and also a good excuse to constantly play with his hair. It was a win-win.

You loved nights like this. Nothing else in the world mattered other than Namjoon and you being together. It was serene and you felt all your anxieties go away. He always felt like he was at home in your arms. Soon enough, both of you would fall asleep on the couch, still snuggled deeply in each other’s embrace. You could tell that Namjoon was getting groggy as his body seemed to reach a standstill and his eyelids drooped down. Before you slept, though, you wanted to see what would happen at the end of the chick flick you two were watching, even though you knew what would happen in the end.

It was just your typical cheesy movie. A selfless, kind girl moves to the city for her new job only to get coffee spilled on her by a playboy. She’s pissed off. He’s selfish. He gets to know her. They fall in love. She learns to love herself and he learns to love other people. No matter how many times this same plot was reused and recycled in countless of movies, you still felt your heart flutter when the boy would profess his feelings for the girl.

That scene was playing. The girl was moving back home due to heartbreak, which was slightly illogical since she had such a good job. You decided to ignore that fact, but chuckled softly at yourself. If Namjoon was awake and watching with you, he would say that and point out how dumb it was. He always wanted to watch action movies when you two were together, but once he saw how cute your face was when you blushed at a romance movie, he never mentioned any movie other than chick-flicks. Eventually, he started liking them too, but he’d never openly admit that to you. You could only tell because he’d start paying attention to the movie more than you at certain points.

It was raining in the movie and the girl had to get gas before her long drive home. You felt your heart race in anticipation for what would happen next. The boy came running to her in the rain, and he shouted for her. She wiped a few tears, trying to keep up her cold front. He then confessed to her, telling her that he never felt the way he did ever before. He told her that she changed him and he couldn’t bear to live without her. The girl then ran into his arms and they kissed in the rain, saying “I love you” over and over again. The background music got louder, letting the audience just experience the two characters’ love for each other.

I love you. You always thought it was such a strange phrase. Not that it was bad, since you were obviously so in love with the boy lying on top of you, but you always thought it was fascinating how heavy those words were. You were constantly cautious about that phrase, only saving it for the person who really mattered.

Namjoon, however, never really put any weight on that phrase. In fact, he may not even remember, due to the countless of times you two have said it to each other, but you can vividly recount the first time he told you that he loved you.

It was a Friday morning in August, and you were on your way to a job interview for an office job at a big tech company you’ve been wanting to work at since forever. You and Namjoon had been dating for one month at that time, and it all felt like a dream.

But right now, everything was a nightmare. You just barely heard your alarm, almost oversleeping. Your hair was extremely messy and even though you tried to keep it in tact by putting it in a nice bun, a bunch of loose strands still appeared. On your way to Namjoon’s car, you accidentally spilled coffee on your skirt. Namjoon reassured you that it wasn’t that noticeable since you were wearing a black skirt and you hoped that he was telling the truth. He also reminded you that you’d be sitting down the whole time, so it shouldn’t be that big of an issue.

While in the car, your hands got even clammier than they were before. You used your phone camera as a mirror in an attempt to try to tame your unkempt hair, but it wasn’t working. You felt your chest go tight, anxiety increasing. Your head went dizzy and you tried your best to breathe as you fixed your appearance. Namjoon picked up on this right away, and he placed a hand on your thigh to draw you out of your panic. You took a deep breath and put your phone away, realizing that you were getting way into your head. He gave you a soft smile and you grabbed his hand and placed it in your own, letting Namjoon’s touch bring you back to earth.

Namjoon squeezed your hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. He stayed quiet, knowing that you just needed things to be quiet when you were freaked out. Any noise would just set you off, so the car ride was silent, save for the soft R&B music playing on the radio.

Soon, your ragged breathing returned to a normal pace, and the knots in your chest went away. You were still a little dizzy, but you could pull yourself together. Then, you had reached the building.

You gave Namjoon a peck on the cheek and unbuckled your seat belt. You stood up from the car, straightening your skirt. Before you could close the car door, however, Namjoon said your name, grabbing your attention.

“I believe in you, Y/N,” He saluted you, showing off that goofy grin you adored so much.

“Thanks, Joon,” You saluted him back, giggling. You were about to close the door but then he called your name again.

“Also, Y/N,” His gaze met yours, and he stared at you lovingly, “You look beautiful today.”

“Oh, um, thank you,” You blushed, fidgeting with a fold in your skirt that was semi dry from the coffee spill.

“I love you,” He flashed you a soft smile, dimples appearing once again. You felt your heart stop and a soft ringing played in your ears.

“I love you too,” You said without even thinking.

And with that, Namjoon drove away to find a parking spot. You stood in front of the building, dumbfounded. Namjoon had just haphazardly threw that phrase at you. And you had just responded with the same recklessness! Your ears went hot at the thought of what just happened. You tried to reason with yourself. Namjoon was a very loving person, so maybe he’s just used to using that phrase right away, and you did love him a lot, so you weren’t lying either. It couldn’t be that bad.

You found out that it really wasn’t that bad. Later on, you’d get your job, and after the interview, you could tell that Namjoon did really love you. Once you got out of the building, you saw him waiting outside of his car, with a bouquet in his hands. You didn’t even know that he had left to buy them for you! Even though you didn’t know the results of your interview at the time, Namjoon was extremely proud of you. You ran up to him and he pulled you into his arms, spinning you in the air and making you both laugh. And from then on, countless “I love you”s were said between the two of you.

“Y/N, baby?” Namjoon croaked out, voice gravelly and scratchy because he had fallen asleep.

“Yeah?” You mumbled in response, finally out of your trance.

“Ah, there she is,” He grinned snuggling his face in the crook of your neck, “You weren’t responding for, like, 5 minutes and you were just staring at the ceiling! I thought I lost you or something.”

“Never,” You giggled, his breath tickling your skin, “I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Why do you love me, Joonie?” You asked rather abruptly. The question surfaced on its own, and you didn’t even realize that you had asked that until an uncomfortable silence settled between the two of you. You felt your heart race uncomfortably and dread fill your stomach. Was this it? Maybe Namjoon didn’t really love you, and he was just bored of being alone.

Your thoughts started racing around you uncontrollably until Namjoon pulled himself out of where he was snuggled, hovering over you. He placed a soft kiss on your lips before smiling at you, resting his forehead on yours. You felt at peace, and you let go of the breath you hadn’t noticed you were holding.

“What kinda question is that, dear?” He questioned, chuckling, “I love you because you’re you.”

“I mean, like, don’t you think you said ‘I love you’ way too fast?” You pouted, jutting your bottom lip out, “We were only together for a month when you told me that you loved me.”

“Well, sweetie, if I know I love you, I’m gonna say it right away, so you know,” He answered calmly, and repositioned the two of you so that could now rest your head on his chest and he could play with your hair. You smiled, happy at the warmth emitting from him. The movie had ended a long time ago, and it was you and Namjoon talking in the safe silence of your home. It was most likely 3 AM, and you felt your eyelids droop down slowly. Namjoon held you closer to him, placing a soft kiss on your forehead as you slowly fell asleep.

Namjoon was no longer sleepy since he had already fallen asleep for a little bit. He looked at you endearingly, loving how peaceful you always looked when you slept. He hoped you were having a good dream and he continued to stare at you, thinking about the conversation you two had. What did he love about you?

Well, what didn’t he love about you?

In fact, he was surprised that you thought he said that he loved you so early. Even though you two were together for only a month then, Namjoon felt like he was waiting for forever just to say that to you. He knew that he loved you right when he met you, and he was desperate to get the chance to say it to you.

He knew he loved you when you introduced yourself to him at a café, because he noticed how you’d always fidget with whatever you could get your hands on, whether it be the sleeve of your sweater or the ripped hole in your jeans. He noticed how nervous you were to talk to him, your soft voice trembling as it tried it’s best to carry every word you wanted to say. You didn’t even know why you wanted to talk to him, you just felt drawn in by his stare and you needed to know him. He vividly remembers the first words you said to him.

“Is this, uh, is this seat open?” You said sheepishly, trying your best not to slur the words together, “There’s no more seats open.”

Namjoon, in fact, knew that that was a blatant lie, since there was actually another table open that you could sit at. He found it cute, how you tried your best to find an excuse to talk to him. He nodded to your question, setting his book down as he introduced himself.

“I’m Y/N,” You smiled, and he felt his heart grow in size, “I wanted to talk to you about that book you’re reading, actually.”

Your smile widened once you grabbed your bag and pulled out your own copy of the book he was reading. Before he could even say that this book was one of his favorites, you immediately started rambling about how much you loved the book, a bright twinkle in your eyes.

 Right at that moment, Namjoon knew that he loved you.

After that, the two of you hit it off right away, constantly texting each other and meeting up the café or the library in your free time. One time he mentioned to you that his favorite color was purple, he noticed that whenever you were with him, you always had a purple accessory. Whether it be a purple headband, hair clip, earring, or just a purple plush keychain that was attached to your bag, he never knew. It was always a nice surprise when he saw you. He thought it was so cute.

Namjoon felt his love for you grow even deeper once you met his friends. They were a rowdy group of 7, including Namjoon, who were always goofing off when they were together. They had already known a lot about you, and they were practically dying to meet you. Jeon Jungkook was especially excited. Namjoon constantly talked to Jungkook about you, because everyone else was sick of hearing you. Min Yoongi would always flick Namjoon’s forehead, teasing him for fawning over someone he wasn’t even dating. Kim Seokjin would join in on the fun, and then everyone would slowly join in the teasing fest. They even said snarky comments about you, saying that you were a weirdo for always texting Namjoon whenever you read a new book or if you saw a cute frog on your walk to your house.

But once they met you, everyone immediately retracted their teasing statements about you. When you arrived at Namjoon’s house, you had a surprise for everyone. Namjoon told you quite a lot about his friends on your late night walks through the city. He’d tell you about all the weird things they did and how he thought you’d get along well with them. Well, you really didn’t want to disappoint.

When Namjoon opened the door, he was surprised to see you carrying 7 bags with names written on them.

“I brought everyone gifts,” You giggled, struggling to carry all the bags in your arms, “If that’s okay.”

Before Namjoon could say anything, the 7 boys were already running up to the door, intrigued to see what you looked at. You felt your cheeks turn hot as they took in your appearance and they all greeted you with a smile.

“These are my friends, if you couldn’t tell already,” Namjoon said rather awkwardly, and you could tell that they were all trying so hard not to laugh at him. You smiled, saying hi and introducing yourself to everyone as Namjoon carried your gifts so you could take your coat off and relax.

You passed around the gift bags, which all had a sugar cookie in them and a small trinket of what each boy liked.

“Whoa, Namjoon!” Jungkook was the first to open his gift, and he was extremely excited, “She got me an Iron Man keychain! Look at it! His arms and legs move!”

“Kumamon?” Yoongi brought out the plushie and examined it, a smile appearing on his face, “I don’t have this one yet. Thank you, Y/N.”

“KAWS! A keychain!” Hoseok grinned, showing his gift off to the other members, “Wow, Y/N, I don’t know you and I already like you!”

“Ooh, a new Mario shirt!” Seokjin ran off to the bathroom to change into it right away, “I look good in this. Good job, Y/N.”

Taehyung and Jimin both squealed in delight as they opened their gifts, seeing new copies of the manga that they liked. Everyone found their reaction humorous, laughter filling the whole house.

Even though you were happy and satisfied with everyone else’s reactions, you were dying to see Namjoon’s reaction to his own gift. You nudged at Namjoon, who was sitting next to you, and excitedly bounced your leg up and down in anticipation.

“You should open your gift, Joon,” You pointed to the bag in his lap, and he nodded. Everyone else watched, surprised by the nickname you had given him.

It was a blue pajama set that had his favorite character, Ryan, printed all over it. He flashed a grin at you, remembering that he only mentioned that he liked Ryan maybe once or twice to you. He pulled you into a hug, feeling a warm a feeling in his chest. Everyone grinned at the two of you before teasing Namjoon.

“Oi, Namjoon,” Seokjin snickered, “Are you crying?”

“Shut up!”

Namjoon laughed softly at the memory of that day. He loved how you were always so attentive to the things he said, bringing things up about him that he himself even forgot. He knew that he loved you right from the get-go. Not just because you were pretty, because Namjoon was never nervous around you. His feelings for you weren’t fleeting, like puppy love in high school. He knew that he would love you forever, because he felt secure with you. You tried your best to impress not only, but his friends, who were basically his family. And don’t even get him started on when you met his family. They, like Namjoon, loved you right away and knew that you were a keeper.

His mom even scolded him the next day, telling him that if he lost you she’d never forgive him.

You stirred in your sleep and all of Namjoon’s attention was back on you. You must’ve had a bad dream. He hushed you, cradling you in his arms until you were calm again. It was probably 4 AM. Namjoon took a deep breath of the cold air, admiring your features once again.

“I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you,” Namjoon sighed, heart breaking at the thought. But he knew that he loved you and you loved him, so he wasn’t worried. You were his home, and he was yours. He didn’t know what he did to deserve you, but he knew damn well that he’ll do anything to make sure that you’re still his.

He placed another soft kiss on your head before falling asleep too in the quiet, calm house, where you could only hear Namjoon’s soft breathing with yours.

this made me soft and i would do anything for kim namjoon k bye :,)

#bts namjoon #kim namjoon #namjoon fic #bts fic #bts fanfiction #bts fluff #kim namjoon fluff #bangtan #kim namjoon ff #im so soft #crying #kim namjoon oneshot #namjoon fluff #kim namjoon fic #namjoon oneshot

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svftheartcd · 3 years

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* maris racal, cis woman + she/her | you know marisol flores, right? they’re twenty-one, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, their whole life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to let’s get married by bleachers like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole windows filled with plants, rolled up sleeves of an oversized sweater, and believing in love at first sight thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 10th, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( kennedy, 21, cst, she/her )

hello hello i’m kennedy and i’m super excited to be here!!! i apologize if this intro is a little messy, i’ve never been good at them. i have a pinterest board for her here !!

*ryan bergara vc* with that being said... let’s get into it

background

for as long as she could remember, marisol’s parents were never happy. it was clear to everyone around that the two no longer loved each other ( if they ever did ). classic case of staying together for the kid. not that they were really around often enough for it to make much of a difference. her mother would leave for weeks at a time, only vaguely saying that she had work when pressed on it. her father at least tried to be there for her whenever he could but those times were rare. he worked as an architect in the next city over and worked long hours (and suspiciously seemed to stay even later whenever her mother was home).

marisol was often left in the care of the elderly woman who lived next door. a nice woman named irene with an incredible garden in her backyard. or at least, it was incredible to little marisol. these times at her neighbor’s home introduced marisol to her love of plants and just nature in general. she would spend hours helping irene with her garden, learning everything about the plants within it in the process. for her tenth birthday, she was gifted a book on how to identify wild plants and a blank journal. irene would take marisol out every weekend to identify (and sometimes collect) wild plants in the area and would help her record her ‘findings’ in said journal. soon enough, it was filled with drawings of plants (that slowly got better and better over time) and marisol’s observations about them. these formative experiences would be what eventually leads her to study botany.

marisol was very desperate for her mother’s approval growing up. she had herself convinced for a long time that the reason her mother was never home was because of her. that she just wasn’t good enough for her to bother being home. so she worked harder in school and strived to get the best grades. she got involved in various clubs and programs offered at her school, including theatre. but no matter what she did or how hard she worked, nothing seemed to work.

marisol’s parents would finally divorce when she was sixteen. her mother would stay with a friend during the divorce proceedings. she would take marisol out to eat or to a museum every few weeks but that was about all marisol saw of her during that time. then. as soon as the divorce was finalized, she just left. marisol would still see her over the years although usually on holidays or special occasions. despite all of this, she still holds her mother in high regard and remains just as desperate for her approval as she was when she was a child. every time she comes into town, marisol is spending every minute she can with her.

marisol’s relationship with her father improved after her mother’s departure. seeing the effect everything had on his daughter, he began working less and spending more time at home. he encouraged her to continue her extracurriculars and made sure he was there for every school event. and while she doesn’t live with him anymore, she still talks to him regularly and goes to his house every sunday to have dinner.

personality

very positive! always tries to see the best in people even if everything tells her that she shouldn’t, she strongly believes that everyone has some good in them. has probably gotten her into trouble a few times tbh

hopeless romantic. definitely believes in love at first sight but like obviously not for everyone (gestures at her parents). she just believes that it does happen for some people and think it’s just beautiful when it does. loves love! has honestly gotten a lot of her expectations for love and relationships from movies and tv shows so they’re a little skewed.

can be a little shy when you first meet her but it honestly doesn’t take a lot to get her talking. and if you get her talking about something she’s passionate about? good luck getting her to stop. she just has a lot of thoughts and feelings.

people pleaser. she just wants people to like her. often puts other people’s needs and feelings before her own. honestly has a really hard time when someone doesn’t like her and will go out of her way to try to make them like her.

she’s sensitive, it is honestly really easy to make her cry. whether they’re happy tears, sad tears, angry tears, etc. has definitely cried over the stupidest things too like a commercial for dog food or a silly meme.

fun facts

is currently going to the local community college... would have gone to the state college but she’s not super comfortable with driving long distances yet and she’d like to improve her gpa a bit first

her favorite movie is the princess bride <3 she used to watch it like once a week in high school yes she had a problem

is unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your outlook idk) a musical theatre kid.... hadestown is her favorite. she listens to it when she’s feeling sad.... also when she’s feeling happy. honestly she just listens to it a lot.

she’s recently gotten into flower pressing and is just having a blast with it! has briefly considered opening an etsy store for it but isn’t sure yet.

favorite video game of all time is stardew valley. which isn’t saying much because she doesn’t play a lot of video games but still. she absolutely adores everything about it, seems to encompass most of her interests which she thinks is just great

has a lot of plants scattered around her place and yes, they all have names. is looking into getting a venus fly trap bc she thinks they’re neat...

works as a barista at kahlo’s!

bisexual <3

wanted connections

roommate(s) - roommates are always cool! must be okay with her plants... she has a lot of them honestly

best friend!!! everyone needs a best friend... i like the idea of them just being like the Exact opposite of her but honestly down for anything...

friends - just give her some friends... she is a very sweet girl ok she treats her friends very nicely.

crushes?? mayhaps?? - mutual... unrequited... whatever i just like crush plots they’re cute

exes maybe? reasons for not working out can be anything... angst always welcome but i do like a good ‘used to date but are just now good friends’ idk

other people who go to the community college ofc... uhhh coworkers... regulars at kahlo’s.... fellow plant lovers.... honestly open for anything and everything!!!

#irvingintro #i hope this makes sense...

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dastardlydandelion · 3 years

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i’ve seen quite a bit of meta floating around abt sam’s situation vs tory’s and how that enhances their rivalry but i’ve seen v little abt how how fighting itself means different things to them and how i personally think that rly shows itself in the school brawl so i’m going to babble on abt that for a min.

so to recap what most ppl already pinned down: tory and sam’s beef isn’t just about miguel. far from. tbvh i’d ever argue it’s mostly *not* about miguel but he factors into the situation so strongly bc miguel is the *one* thing tory had that (at the time) sam didn’t. it isn’t just abt him, it’s abt what he represents. it’s abt sam seemingly (re)staking her claim to one of the only good things in tory’s life. from tory’s perspective she has very little in contrast to sam. sam lives in wealthy encino, has her own car, a membership at a country club, and participates in karate bc she’s a legacy child and to do so is at her leisure. her dad has his own personal dojo she can practice in whenever she wants and oh yeah, her lessons are free bc her dad is her sensei. sam who could easily afford karate lessons doesn’t even have to, her dad actually jumps at the chance to give them to her.

tory has to work for everything that’s hers and then some, supporting a mother with frail health and taking care of her bby brother. tory’s life is more precarious and vulnerable than sam’s bc of her financial and living situation, and frankly, she needs self-defense skills more than sam does. remember when she’s at the store with aisha and describes to her how some perv tried to grab her, a move she then blocked? how she stabbed him in the face with her duster/bracelet??

i feel like the gravity of that is lost on most ppl bc in context, tory’s almost bragging abt it and showing off a lil bit. and why wouldn’t she?? she thinks aisha is a badass, she saw her breaking boards blindfolded!!! she thinks aisha is cool and she wants aisha to think she’s cool too, so she’s telling her smth abt herself that she correctly feels aisha would admire. but context aside, it’s v scary and sad that tory was in a situation where she had to do that.

tory had kickboxing training even before she joined cobra kai. going off some of her dialogue to miguel, abt how some ppl in this world have to fight for everything they have, i’m going to assume her safety applies here. given that her financial situation is so precarious, i don’t think tory would’ve taken kickboxing classes unless she felt like she had to. like— don’t get me wrong, tory clearly enjoys fighting. it’s prolly a good way to relieve all the stress she’s under, having head of household responsibilities at 16/17. but we see in s3 when her mom can’t rly work anymore and therefore she has to work even more herself, tory leaves the dojo specifically bc she can’t afford lessons. so that leads me to believe that even if tory enjoys fighting, she wouldn’t spend money on it unless doing so was of necessity to her.

tory does not live in a world of stability. her mother’s health is precarious and unstable. her financial situation is precarious and unstable. even working two jobs she didn’t have enough to cover rent. it was so, so heartbreaking but u could see it in her eyes that she was considering the landlord’s offer. she was considering sleeping with some gross ass adult man who berated and belittled her just to have the stability of a home. imho she would’ve done it if kreese didn’t handle the situation (and he definitely didn’t do so for selfless reasons, but that’s another matter entirely so i’m not gonna go into that).

sam, on the other hand, doesn’t just have stability, she has luxury. again, the big house, her own car, wealthy, supportive, healthy parents who have the time and the means to be there for her and provide her with whatever she wants, let alone needs. fighting is v different for sam. from sam’s perspective, karate is meditation. karate is a way to find balance, to center yourself and spiritually connect with your body. karate is recreation and sport, tournaments where rules ensure everyone’s safety at the end of the day and fighting with honor scores u points while fighting with dishonor gets u disqualified. where fighting with honor is “fair” and fighting without honor is “dirty.”

now, i know sam *theoretically* understands karate from the self-defense perspective too. bc she’s heard daniel’s stories. bc she used it against kyler when he made her uncomfortable. bc she and robby got into it at the mall to come to demetri’s defense, thereby actively protecting another person. but sam does not have daniel’s lived experiences of struggling with poverty or being put into harm’s way as gravely as daniel was in his youth (at least not until the school brawl, i’m getting there). sam never had to stab a pervert in the face bc he predated upon her and grabbed her. sam did face bullying, yes, but as hurtful as being slut-shamed on the internet is, her safety was not threatened in that situation the way tory’s safety has been threatened, nor the way her father’s safety was threatened in his youth.

i definitely think the context of their situations influences how each thinks of fighting. tory intimately understands fighting for survival in a way sam does not, in a way sam simply cannot relate to. tory doesn’t adhere to the rules the way sam does bc rules have never done shit for her. actually, the rules themselves keep her down, her mother got fired from her job at the restaurant precisely bc she was bringing home leftovers to feed her hungry children. tory has no reason to distinguish between dishonorable fighting and honorable fighting bc at the end of the day, fighting is a necessity for tory in a way that it is not a necessity for sam. tory doesn’t fight to win points or to meditate, or to spiritually connect with her body. tory fights for self-preservation.

from sam’s perspective, tory fights “dirty.” from tory’s perspective, sam lives in a fantasy world where there’s some kind of manufactured distinction between fighting “fair” and “dirty” only for those who have the security and luxury to made that very distinction. to tory, fighting is fighting and that’s that. to sam, fighting is a discipline, an art, a tradition, and is meant to be practiced with a level of etiquette shown to your opponent. bc that’s what tory is to sam, an opponent. but sam isn’t an opponent to tory— she’s an enemy. these are not the same things.

i think the way tory and sam understand fighting really rears its head in the school brawl. tory’s had it with sam, she’s had beef with her since the moment sam accused her of stealing and it reaches its tipping point during the party bc first, sam beats her in the drinking competition, embarrassing her in front of everyone, and then she goes and kisses miguel. who isn’t just tory’s bf, but one of the only good things in her life at that moment.

on top of that, like, okay, tory is v aware miguel used to date sam. so when she’s dating miguel herself, i think she does take a kind of satisfaction in that, in knowing she’s “taken” miguel from the pretty, privileged princess who has everything else, pretty privileged princess who once accused her of stealing and would then go on to mock and ridicule her. i think it increases the sting for tory when sam follows up beating her in the contest with kissing miguel not just bc she’s hurt, but bc it’s an added slap in the face that sam “reclaimed” this one good thing tory thought she’d managed to “take” from her.

come the school brawl and sam is aware tory’s angry. tory announces on the damn loud speaker she’s coming for her, prolly to embarrass her in front of everyone the way sam embarrassed her the night before. fight ensues and they’re matching each other p well, i’d say tory mostly retains the upper hand bc she had the element of offense on her side while sam’s blows were primarily defensive…it’s slightly in tory’s favor but rly could go either way until the point where tory breaks out the spiked knuckle duster/bracelet.

if u look at sam’s face after tory puts it on, like…she’s shocked. she’s frightened. she was not anticipating that at all. tory on the other hand, has a mocking expression and from her tone, i kind of think she’s reveling in sam’s reaction. bc tory knows full well sam has never had to fight the way she has. sam’s never actually had her safety compromised so it’s like. utterly incomprehensible to her the moment it happens.

tory is the first person who has ever actually threatened sam’s safety and tory knows that, and she relishes it. from tory’s perspective, sam is just as foolish as she is pampered, and she gets to be the one to snatch sam’s sense of security away from her the moment she introduces a weapon to the situation and shows sam; ‘no, this isn’t just a karate match. i actually want to hurt you, and i am going to use whatever i have to do that.’

and…i think she was just trying to hurt sam, personally. ik a lot of the ck fandom thinks tory wanted to kill sam. and i actually think sam herself thinks tory wanted to kill her bc of the visceral reaction she has to tory afterwards. sam has ptsd after the school brawl and it’s not just bc of tory, it’s clearly also bc of what happened to miguel. what robby did to miguel out of anger, anger not created by— but definitely inflamed by —the fact miguel and sam shared a smooch. but sam also has nightmares of tory trying to kill her and it’s tory’s voice that makes her freeze up during the fight at the laser tag place.

i think sam also inevitably associates tory with what happened to miguel, bc while robby, not tory kicked him over the railing, it was tory who started the brawl. and miguel went upstairs specifically bc he was trying to get tory off of sam. he followed them up there bc he was tryna calm tory down. so i think that’s also why sam is so shook by tory after, that inevitable association with miguel’s fall/coma. but i defo think bc tory was the first person who ever actually threatened sam’s safety for real, sam felt like tory was going to kill her. and to be fair, when tory gets sam on the floor and yanks her hair back, it appears that she’s doing so specifically to expose her face/throat area as she pulls her opposite arm back to stab.

sooo with that i 100% understand why so much of the ck fandom and sam herself would think tory was tryna kill her, but i personally don’t think that. i think she was trying to scar her face. i think tory might have specifically been aiming for the mouth bc she wanted to punish sam for the kiss. stabbing/slicing her mouth would be targeting a place on sam specifically associated with the incident that pushed tory’s anger over the edge.

i also think it’s entirely probable tory was just unleashing all of her built up stress on sam during that fight. tory was more aggressive not just bc she’s the one more pissed off but bc her nerves are fucking fried. she throws all of her negative emotions in the brawl and she has infinitely more of those than sam, created by her precarious and fraught living situation wherein she’s had to endure much more hardship than sam and she’s constantly on her guard, fully aware of how fragile any semblance of stability she manages to carve out for herself/her family is. while sam, on the other hand, gets to live in what must appear to tory as this soft, fuzzy fantasy world where mom and dad take care of all the important stuff and sam doesn’t have to worry abt a thing.

i maintain that i don’t believe tory was tryna kill sam, but i do believe she rly wanted to hurt her. and she did…sam is hospitalized after the fight. tory goes back to cobra kai to train for the next one. bc that’s what tory’s life is, one fight after the next. she doesn’t have the luxury of treating karate as a means for meditation or recreation like sam does. and i truly think that impacts that dynamic more than often given credit for.

#reference #not gonna put this in the main tag #bc ck fandom hates tory and i don't need anymore crawling up my ass abt being the weirdo who posted the nunchaku noncon #or the weirdo who keeps clogging the ao3 tag with bizarre crack planet prison au #i am too annoyed to deal with the stupid tory is a sociopath arguments #no she's not u asshat she's a v stressed out teenage girl with too much on her plate and she overreacted #ofc i think she went overboard actually tryna stab sam #actually slicing into sam's arm so deep she needed stitches #but like miguel says tory needs help and their rivalry is deepened by sam's utter inability to understand her #sam is errything she wants and can't have and sam unknowingly throws this in her face all the time #and sam's obliviousness makes her resent her privilege even more #bc living the way she does tory cannot afford the same obliviousness nor can she afford to treat fighting like a game reserved for the ring #the same rules that make sam's life cushy are the ones that restrict tory and keep her down #my meta

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camphorror · 3 years

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the only friend who i coul talk about this stuff isnt really interested in talking about me anymore so im just going to type all this overhsaring cap while trying to calm down from crying for 30 minuets an throwing up from the crying

i have an :::aunt”” who hates me because she is literally a raicst who stopped talking to my mother when she decided to marry someone who isnt from the same ethnicity as her and then of course she hates me for being a tainted person for his horrible offense!! i never really knew her she neve rinvited us to birthdays or anything she did at her house with her evil daughters and we did invite them for birthdays because i just very much remember not understanding why she is so distant (compared to my “”normal”” aunt) and just always wanted her to like me up until i grew up old enough to understand why it was that they ere all like this

now fucking 7 YEARS ago was at my grandmas and i was looking at old photos and back then i was very much into ww2 and like 30s-40s time period in europe and all and i was fascinated by all the old photos she had and she allowed me to take a lot of old photos some she wanted me to bring back so i just scanned them and brought them back and some she just let me have i swear to god she let me have them some were of people she didnt know she didnt let me have any of her old photos besides the ones that had 2 copies but she pm let me have all of my grandfather’s (who i have never met) photos from the 30s-40s and these photos were my favourite ting in the world i usedto go over them once every month since fucking 2014 to see if they ware ok i recently planned to try and get an album for them bc i dont think it’s kept well in a box if you ask every close friends i have how many times i told them want to see something cool and showed them these photos i love these photos with all of my heart and they fascinate me i even wanted to san all of them and try to find maybe some site or subreddit that can help me translate some of the writings on the back of some of them as idk what language it even is and it’s all in cursive. not once in the past 7 fucking years (ok actually once but it wasnt here it as my evil aunt) did my grandma ever ask me for these photos because she kne wi have them and i keep them and i cherise them

then suddenly last week when my supposedly normal aunt wwas here because my scumbag aunt visited my grandma when she had fucking pneumonia and my grandma got sick and she’s generally been like weird mentally lately like she’s not 100% in the moment. anyway they were both at her house when she was sick and suddenly suddenly my supposedly normal aunt claims that my grandma wants all the photos back. but does she say it herself? no. my aunt tells it to my mother.i got pissed pff and offended that she didnt call me. i am not a child. after some insufferable back and forth my grandma says she just wants the photos she’s in. ok. whatever. my aunt says she’ll go get copies of them and bring me back i dont care. then suddrnly when i went there to give it to them my aunt asks me if i have more photos and i like yes sure i have [everything i mentioned above] she flis out like i didnt know youhave them give them to me i didn’t know it i will copy of all of them!! like ok first of all not my fault you didnt know you live in almost the other side of the country sincr 2010 youre not suopposed to know that i took photos 7 years ago. notlike i have to share every detail. second of all i liteally did tell her something about this once. ok i tell her i will give her all the photos before she goes home she has a friend who works at a photogrhy store who can copy them for cheap.

so now i know the reason this is happening is bascially my “normal” aunt and ym evil aunt literally manipulate my grandma into caring about these stuff because i know the thing here. THE CRIME here is that my evil aunt does not have these photos. i know she wants them, the reason i took them 7 years ago is that i knew there was no way on earth my mother would have these at any point and i just decided i want them (and my grandmother ALLOWED ME). but whatever. copy the photos have it your way i dont care

now my aunt came to take them todaynd i told her when she called “you are giving me back the original photos i got them 7 years ago it’s not fair to take them” she says ok. i meet her downstairs and i chat to her and i tell her again “really you give me back the original photos ok” and suddenly when she physically has them iin her hand she says no!!! i will give you back the copies!! i say no youre lying i wouldnt have given shit if i knew you’d do this. she starts making excuses about how they need to have the originals because what f they’d want to give it to a fucking holocaust msueusm. i tell ehr why on earth give a meuseum original photos give them the copies. she says no and i was tired and irritated and i just told her whatever she got what she wants by lying so i dont care anymore. and i left her in the street and went home. i lost it on the way it happened an hour ago and im still crying. i cant believe this shit happened. these photos were mayb one of the most important things in my life. i just cried annd cried and lost it and lost my cool and started screaming and hitting everything. i tried calling her telling her it’s not fair she lied to me why is she doing this. i got sick of playing stupid and i said i know they only did this because they want my other aunt to have the photos. she then accused me (and my mother) of being the liars who took the photos and never said i had them (what the fuck?) and then lying saying we don’t have more (literally not true) and then she called me A CRAZY INSANE PERSON for crying and freaking out and telling her i know why all this shit is happening. and she said she doesnt want to talk to me becaus ei’m crazy and she hung up. i literally fell down crying and threw up and hit myself for being so stupid. i now understand why she wanted ALL the photos. including those of random who no one knows. because they just want them to have it.

i know my grandma doesnt love me as much as she loves them. my grandma also stopped talking to my mother once she got married but then she “got around it” but my evil aunt is he rfavourite daughter and her kids are her favourite grandkids and my “nrmal” aunt and them always meet toether and do family stuff together and never with us and they never see anything wrong with it.they even accuse me of “contributing to this stupid fight” even tho it’s insane to even say this like this thing started 2 years before i was born because of RACISTS and i was treated like shit as a child by these ppl but i’m still seen on par with their behaviour!!! so they dont care. i actually wholly believe my grandma want my shitty aunt to have those photos actually. i fele so stupid. this was my favourite possession in the world and i was stupid enough to let it go. i still cant stop crying until now i actually hate everything. im sick of all those insane people in every side of my favmily there are insane people on my father’s side i have sociopathic theives who dont even care their brother fucking died from brain cancer and most of which i dont even fucking know and on my mother’s side there are just a bunch fo self obsessed freaks who hate me for the crime of being born

#txt

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