#the hazel is dark brown eyes not hazel ones
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Wasted Times
CASSIAN X F.READER
Warnings: SMUT, little plot. A bit of angst. Minors do not interact.
A/N: a little something, not proof read. I'll be editing tomorrow. Comments are welcomed 👏🏻
You used to think he found you pretty, always sticking next to you or seeking your company, you're fairly sure he even flirted with you sometimes. In his own not-ever-gonna-out- right-tell-you-what-I- mean–way, but you could tell there was something there. That's until the middle Archeron sister came into picture, with her beautiful doe brown eyes and soft silky-looking skin, her pink lips and long curls. Elain was a vision. Azriel was completely mesmerized with her, and it stung like hell to sit and watch as he leaned into her ear to whisper the mother knows what, his fingers delicatedly brushing her bare shoulder.
You sighed and drowned the dark liquor of your glass in one gulp. You were so tired of this shit, wouldn't have made it through half the dinner without Mor and Cass there.
"Everything alright sweetheart?" Cass asked loud enough just for you to hear.
"Yeah, I'm just bored." You smiled dismissively, hopefully convincing enough to ease the worried look he was giving you.
"We should go to Rita's" Mor chipped in, just in time to save you from interrogation.
"Yes! The three of us hadn't been out alone in ages." You agreed quickly, really needing any excuse to get the fuck out of the house.
Cass chuckled. "Yeah, last time I don't really remember how we ended up at Helion's door. Rhys had to go get us."
You laughed, a real sound this time and Cassian's eyes sparkled in amusement. He was always there for you, through thick and thin, ever since you met him. It was instant, the connection between the two of you, he knew you better than you knew yourself. Your best friend, your personal ray of sunshine. You had a feeling he suspected of your...affections towards his brother but you always managed to play it out small, just a friendly teasing. He wasn't a fool though, but kept quiet about it.
"What do you say Cass, are you up to some fun?" You asked, a smirk tugging at your lips.
"I'm always ready for a night with you sweetheart." He winked and leaned back in his chair.
You weren't entirely sure if it was the wine you had been indulging in all night, or the fact that it's been a while since someone flirted with you but your cheeks turned a light dusty pink at his words. Body feeling a little tingly. It wasn't uncommon for Cassian to flirt with you, he was built like that. He pretty much flirted with everyone. But something felt different tonight, maybe the fact that you were feeling a little unsure about yourself as of late, giving that a certain shadowsinger had started to pay attention to more... beautiful, delicate things. So you didn't question how the General's words had affected you. You let yourself enjoy it, make you feel good. Cassian always made you feel good.
You rolled your eyes at him and gave him a playful smile, taking a sip of your glass.
Mor almost squealed in excitement. With Rhys and Feyre navigating their new parenthood, Amren and Varian barely leaving her apartment, and Azriel annoyingly pinning after Elain, there wasn't really much fun going on for your blonde friend. You had been over working a lot to be honest, anything to keep away from the house and the irritation that came lately when crossing paths with the shadowsinger, but you were tired and you missed your friends. So you finally decided to come home and a night out with your two best friends sounded esplendid.
"Alright then, let's go" you stood up, pulling Cassian with you, Mor on your heels. You waved your friends goodnight from over your shoulder. Not lingering to see hazel eyes trailing after you.
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"Is it me or is tonight more packed than usual?" You shouted over to Mor, making your way through the crowd of sweating bodies to the bar across from the dance floor.
Mor chuckled, pulling out a seat for you and signaling for the barman to come over. "It's Friday, of course it’s packed. How long is it since you last went out?"
"Two months, I guess? Since I took the job on the border" you shrugged.
"So, almost three months," Cassian added. Mor sent him a smirk.
"But who's counting, right?" She joked, Cass just rolled his eyes at her and ordered our drinks.
"Aww, did you miss me Cassie?" You prodded playfully at his shoulder. A smirk stretching across your red tinted lips.
"Of course I did, smartass, I didn't know the House could be so silent without your incessant morning rants!" He smiled. You smacked him in the arm. "Ouch! That hurt"
"I didn't even hit you that hard, you're just being a big Illyrian baby." You rolled your eyes, taking a sip ro your drink.
"You love me anyways," he threw an arm around your shoulder. "but for real sweetheart, don't take any more long ass missions for a while."
A warm, real smile made its way to your lips. "Don't worry Cass, I don't intend to."
"Good. Cause Azriel's been a real pain in the ass, I can't stand him anymore on my own." He chuckled.
Your smile weavered a little at the mention of the shadowsinger. "Ugh, don't even start. But let's not talk about him, yeah? I wanna dance."
Cassian opened his mouth but before he could answer, you were already tugging Mor towards the dance floor.
The night passed by between drinks and laughter and dancing, you were currently sandwiched between Mor and Cassian, swaying your hips to the dark tune of the rhythm, arms thrown around the shoulders of your blonde friend, back pressed against Cassian’s hard chest. It was hot and fun and you’ve never felt so free and careless, maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe the heat of the hands resting heavily on your hips was starting to mess up with your head. Either way, you felt bold and beautiful, a taunting smirk adorning your lips as you caught the eye of some male across the room. He gave you and Mor a run over, biting his lip as he made his way towards you. He was handsome, not quite as breathtaking as the males in your family, but he had some pretty attractive features. Sharp jaw and glinting dark eyes, and he looked confident enough that he had found his entertainment for the evening. You smiled playfully at Mor, angling your head to the male as if not to be so obvious, she looked over her shoulder, blonde curls like melted honey dripping over her back and flashed him a devilish smile. That’s when you knew you were out of the game. Mor was beautiful, ethereal. There was no comparing your darkness to her striking beauty, even the shadowsinger had favored her over you, some time ago.
Why had your thoughts taken such a pitiful turn? You were having a good time right? you wouldn’t let your insecurities take root in your head once more, you were here to avoid them after all. Still, you faltered in your steps as the male gently tapped Mor’s bare shoulder. You couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, unconsciously leaning in on Cassian. Mor, completely oblivious to the downturn in your mood, gave you a playful wink and headed off with the male.
“Nevermind him,” rang Cassian’s deep voice in your ear, “he doesn’t know what he’s missing.” He gave a little squeeze to your hip, breath fanning over your neck and causing goosebumps to erupt in your skin.
“Doesn’t he now? He’s got his hands on the big prize tonight” you murmured.
Cassian’s grip on your hip tightened, pulling you even closer to him, right hand splayed dangerously low on your abdomen. “He’s so beneath you, sweetheart.”
You let out a sigh, finding comfort in the heat radiating off of his body. Cassian’s strong arms enveloping you almost possessively, hiding you away. “Cass,” you called him softly, half turning to face him, “dance with me?”
He flashed you one of his signature smiles and leaned down to press a kiss to your shoulder, “For as long as you want.”
You didn’t really want to think about why you felt so compelled to believe Cassian’s words, it was like everytime he reassured you, you got this warm feeling in your chest that spread throughout your body, all the way to the tip of your toes. You felt lighter, confident, pretty…even, in his presence. There was this sense of sincerity about him, and Cassian –your Cassian– would never lie to you. So you relaxed in his embrace and allowed yourself to get lost in the rhythm again, enjoying the way he seemed to understand your body better than anyone, smoothly following your movements.
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It was around the sixth glass of fairy wine when Cassian decided that maybe you had had enough to drink, and maybe it was time to get some fresh air. He wasn’t entirely sure the suffocating heat was due to the way-too-packed dance floor or because you had been grinding down on him all night. If he had to be honest with himself, it was probably the latter. He couldn’t understand how did you dare think so low about yourself, in his eyes you were the most stunning female he had ever met, but tonight with that unfairly short, tight dress that hugged all the right places? You were absolutely ravishing. Full plump red lips so close to him, he had to refrain from kissing you until they were bruised and swollen.
“You know what I really want?” you asked suddenly, pulling him out of the trance he had been for the last ten minutes. Your head was resting on his shoulder, eyes glazed and heavy looking up at him. He swallowed, you were definitely tipsy. You’d never look at him like that otherwise.
“What do you really want?” He asked, shamelessly tracing the shape of your mouth.
“A piece of chocolate cake,” you pouted. That pulled a laugh out of him, he wasn’t expecting it.
“You’ve got chocolate cake at home,” he answered, still smiling at your frowning face. “I bought you some this morning, when I heard you were coming back.”
You beamed at him, and Cassian’s heart made a flip in his chest. It was as if he had told you the secret of the universe itself.
“Really?” you asked, smiling widely. He chuckled. “Can we go home now?”
“Yeah, let's get you that chocolate cake sweetheart.”
With one arm securely wrapped around your waist and the other hooked under your legs, Cassian lifted you up easely, as if you weighed the same as a feather to him. A small gasp escaped your mouth once he took to the skies, it never failed to amaze you how truly powerful he was. How disciplined and graceful, even. There was nothing brute about Cassian, despite some awful claimings from equally awful people. This sight of him, the wind in his hair, strong wings on full display, was nothing short of a masterpiece.
As if sensing your ogling, Cassian looked down to meet your stare with a bashful smirk. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You know Cass, you're my favorite person in the entire world.” you whispered, smiling up at him.
His smirk widened. “Oh, you're so drunk.”
You frowned a little pout forming on your lips. “I'm not drunk. Just tipsy with no filter.”
He chuckled. “I thought Az was your favorite.”
Your frown deepened and Cassian swore your body had stiffened a little. “Why? We barely talk anymore.” You scoffed.
Cassian gave you a sympathetic smile. “He's just been busy,”
“Yeah, whatever.”
And just like that your mood had gone back to the beginning of the night. Sour insecurities resurfacing in your head. It wasn't Cass’ fault though, he's been perfectly charming the entire night. It didn't sit right with you, this awkwardness surrounding you. “He didn't get me chocolate cake though, so you're still my fav.” You tried lifting the mood with a tentative playful smile. He mirrored it, but still he caught your change in demeanor, having fallen silent the rest of the ride home.
Even once inside the House of Wind, comfortably sitting on the counter top in the kitchen, eating a slice of cake, shoes discarded on the floor. You hadn't uttered another word, too lost in your thoughts.
Cassian observed you intently, eyes downcast, hair a little windswept, full lips engulfing the last bit of cake. He swallowed. He didn't understand his brother, how could he resist when you so openly flirted with him? Had it been him on the receiving end of those heated stares shared during training, he would already have you pressed against the nearest wall, devouring your mouth until you couldn't breathe. There was no denying the beauty of the middle Archeron sister, but you? No one could compare to you. Long dark lashes, beautiful plump lips, the subtle sun-kissed glow of your skin… and those thighs. Those godsdamned thighs, you could choke him to death with them and he would die a happy male.
Yet, you didn't seem aware of the effect you had on males —and females as well— whenever you’d walk into the room.
“What are you thinking about sweetheart?” He asked, low enough not to startle you.
“Am I not pretty enough?” You blurted out suddenly, as if you couldn't contain the thoughts inside your head anymore. Feeling embarrassed about how that came out, you averted your gaze away from him.
“Why would you think that?” Cassian asked softly, a small frown taking form in his face. When you didn't answer he moved to stand directly in front of you. “Sweetheart look at me, please,” his hand came to cup your chin, forcing your head up and causing your eyes to meet.
“It's just..” you huffed, mouth forming a small pout. “I'm not exactly soft and delicate, my body is too strong and maybe I laugh too loud,” You bit your lip trying to stop the spiraling of your thoughts. “I’ve never been…courted, I've had sexual partners, sure, but none of them had wanted to stay. No one has approached me for a while and tonight I thought– but of course not, Mor was there and she's stunning like the sun! I don't know, maybe I'm not feminine enough, that's all I'm saying.” You shrugged, trying to downplay it.
“That couldn't be farther from the truth. You truly have no idea what you do to every male in Prythian that sets their eyes on you.” He declared, looking so intensely at you that you couldn’t look away. The hand that was cupping your chin had moved down to rest on your waist and you sucked in a breath at the sudden rush of heat that act alone had caused to spread all over your skin. “You have no idea what you do to me.” Cassian’s voice had dropped to a low deep purr that had you feeling dizzy. “Breathtaking is not a strong enough word to describe your beauty. You don't think you're soft and feminine?” His free hand dared to trace a path from your hips up to your ribs, stopping just below your breasts. “I can point out a few soft and feminine spots if you wish.”
His eyes had taken a darker tone and you swallowed dry, feeling all tingly where his hands were currently resting on your body. Cassian was beautiful, perfect. You had always known that, but you would have never thought this male to have an attraction towards you. It was simply impossible, you've been best friends for as long as you remember, he had seen the ugly in you, the dark, awful sides of you. And in contrast, you've seen him take gorgeous lovers along the years. So you never gave it much thought, contempt to have him as your partner in crime, your own personal sun. But there was no denying the way he was watching you now, such hunger in his darkened gaze; there was no denying the way your mind and body were reacting to him either.
You didn't know when you had leaned in closer, or had that been him? Your hands were resting on his chest in a poor attempt to keep some composure but you knew he could smell the sweet vague scent of arousal coming off of you. Your face heated up, a faint blush all the way to the point of your ears.
When you didn’t say anything he added: “D’you wanna know why no one dares to approach you?” His breath fanned over your face. “That’s on me, sweetheart. I can’t help it, whenever I’m around you and some poor excuse of a male even thinks he might be worthy to touch you, my blood boils in my veins and I become violence incarnate. I know that. No one would be stupid enough to defy me.”
“But– but why?” you choked out. Too stunned to act cool.
He chuckled, a dark, dangerous sound. “Why? Because I want you. Because I dream about you. Because I need you.”
You tilted your head slightly upwards to stare at him, mouths mere inches away. There was such raw devotion in his eyes, it unleashed something primal from within you. It burned and ached more and more by the second, desperately wanting to be free. Oh, you wanted him. All of him.
“Then have me. Show me all the soft spots you like,” you whispered.
Cassian growled low, “I'm gonna show you just how beautiful you are.” And then he crashed your lips together in a hungry kiss. He kissed you deep and rough, hands tightly holding your hips and bringing you closer to the edge of the countertop.
Your own hands came to rest at the nape of his neck, fingers twisting and tugging at the strands there. You bit down on his lower lip, immediately dragging your tongue over it; groaning softly, he grabbed handfuls of your ass, kneading the flesh there. Arousal shot through your body, all the way to your core, thighs clenching together. You were almost certain your panties were drenched.
“This I like,” he managed between kisses, landing a spank to your left cheek. You gasped and he took the opportunity to explore more of your skin, kissing and nibbling that sensitive spot on your neck. He went lower, licking at your collarbones and you arched your back to give him more access.
Rough, calloused hands slid the thin straps of your dress down your shoulders, exposing your breasts to him. Cassian wasted no time attaching his mouth to your right breast, swirling his tongue and biting softly at the perked nub. Expert fingers twisting at the other before switching between them. You moaned loudly for him, hips jerking, searching for friction.
“These I like,” he said, releasing your niple with a sinful ‘pop’. Then his eyes darted down to your legs, forcing them open with his hips. Your dress had ridden up your hips, lace panties on full display for him. The fabric was soaked and Cassian growled at the sight. All for him. He fell to his knees before you, teeth grazing the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs “but these,” he murmured in between love bites. “I love these,” The General moaned before ripping your panties off and letting his tongue drag a long strip up your folds.
“Oh Gods” you couldn't help but moan out loud, fingers finding their way into Cassian's hair and pushing his head further in between your legs. Hips desperately chasing after that sinful, skilled mouth of his.
He chuckled darkly and the reverberations caused pleasure to shoot up your spine, eyes fluttering shut. You were almost sure you could touch the sky with your hands when he sucked harshly at your clit, and all thoughts emptied from your mind. It was just you, and Cassian, and the mindnumbing pleasure coursing through your veins as he fucked you with his tongue. It was all too much, too hot, too messy. His mouth felt so warm on you, fuck, drinking up your juices like he might die of thirst. You couldn't get enough of him, how did you get so long without succumbing to his charms?
Cassian groaned as yet another wave of arousal came gushing out of you, licking it all up, not a single drop to waste. Your taste was divine, he thought he may be high on it, head empty except for the carnal need to make you come undone on his mouth, and then fuck you into oblivion. He was so painfully hard, he could’ve just cum right there at the sight of you above him, looking all fucked up and he had yet to take off his pants. He could feel how close you were as your whimpering grew louder, head threw back in pleasure, too lost to notice the lone shadow that had made its way towards you. Cassian growled in warning, wings flaring proud in a display of dominance as he heard the light footsteps approaching. “Mine.” He seemed to growl on your skin, and you felt yourself tripping over the edge when you locked eyes with the intruder. A plea of The General’s name on your lips.
“Cass please, I'm gonna–” your release barreled through you with blinding force. Cassian rode you through your high, never faltering until you came down.
When you opened your eyes the intruder was gone. It was only you and Cassian in the room, he was smiling brightly at you, your heart gave a flip at the sight. He was still on his knees, lips shiny with the remnants of your orgsm, eyes still full of lust. He was so beautiful. You couldn't resist but to urge him up and kiss him breathless.
“I take it, you liked it” He murmured amusedly, hands still roaming over your body.
“Very much so, yes.” You smiled, leaning in for another kiss. He pressed himself against you, hard and ready, making you moan again.
A sudden new wave of lust (and a tinge of longing) invaded your senses, followed by a tentative tug. You gasped into his mouth, breaking the kiss to look up at him.
“You're…” you mused in awe, not able to form a coherent thought. His smile only grew wider and he dragged his mouth leisurely down your neck, biting softly.
“I'm not half done with you yet, love.”
#acotar#acotar fanfiction#acotar fandom#acotar series#acomaf#acowar#cassian acotar#cassian x you#cassian#cassian x reader#azriel x reader
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5th fic in 4 (?) days? I'm so normal. I'm so normal. I'm so normal. Aaah [Previous]
Summary: Your first day of work after you start feeling a funny way about the funny merman.
Word Count: 1257
Content Warnings: car dependent infrastructure, Typhus existing again, cliffhanger
Image Credit: @squishyowl
Your fingers drummed on the steering wheel as your playlist looped back around to that song. You couldn't close your eyes, not now, but your heart beat faster in your chest as you remembered how he held you, the beat of his hearts against your face. It's just fascination, you told yourself. You haven't even known each other for a week.
You pulled into the employees' parking lot before you found a spot, cut Dave Grohl off mid-word, and got out of the car.
"Sorry, Dave," you mumbled as you locked it.
You speedwalked towards the door, going through all the familiar motions of clocking in. You looked at the time. Two minutes late. You sighed as you checked in with the baby turtle. It was a green sea turtle, but the babies were more black or dark brown than anything. You bent down to look at it. The tank was very small, but the little one didn't seem to mind it. After a few moments of swimming, it settled on the bottom. The corners of your lips quirked up before you heard footsteps behind you.
You turned around. It was Typhus.
"Hey," he said casually. "Oh, you found the Nurgling?"
"The what?"
Typhus chuckled. He came in close to you, and you backed away slightly. "I call him the Nurgling," he said, looking down at the tiny sea turtle. "I don't know if it's going to be his name, it's a bit of an in-joke I have with someone. Haven't given him a nametag yet, either. First thing I'm going to do today. How's the merman?"
"Oh," you said, slightly taken aback before remembering that he was there too. "He's doing... better than expected. I showed him some of my music, and he seemed to like it. I hope, at least?"
"Alright, okay," said Typhus, nodding slightly. "Didn't know that one of the first things you'd do when you found a merman was to show him dad rock. But to each their own."
"Why, what would you do?"
"I'd show him Slipknot, personally," he shrugged.
You let out a slight laugh, turning to walk away before he continued.
"I think someone should check up on him," he said. He was much taller than average, reaching almost 7 feet standing. "Don't you think?" He moved a little closer to you, and you backed away, but you were getting precariously close to the wall. Shit.
"I mean, I would like to get to know Stella better," you mumbled. You tried to walk away, but he shifted in front of you.
"Aren't they so busy, though?" he asked, turning up his nose a little bit. "I don't have anything going tonight, and I'd hate to get in the way of anyone's activities. Besides," he said, "all of us found the merman. It's all of our duty to look after him, right?" His leg was almost between yours, and you shrunk back even further.
"Excuse me, what the actual fuck are you doing?" asked the girl with the brown ponytail.
"Maya, it's not what it looks like--" said Typhus, backing away.
Maya was around 5 feet tall at most, but she looked at Typhus with nothing less than fury in her hazel eyes. "Back off, Typhus. Now." Her hands were clenched into fists, with only the chipped nail polish on her thumb showing, but her tone was more akin to scolding a disobedient dog.
Typhus looked at her, then at you before backing away slowly. "Guess we should get back to work," he muttered before turning tail and heading towards one of the animals in need of rehabilitation.
"I'll say," said Maya, glaring at him before she turned back to you. "I know you don't want to hear this, but you're going to have to stand up for yourself one of these days," she said, in a tone low enough that Typhus couldn't hear. "I know we're coworkers, but I care about you. And I hate to see this... asshole get in your face when you clearly don't want it."
You paused, shuffling your feet before steeling yourself. "I'll do my best," you mumbled.
"You said that last time," said Maya, raising an eyebrow.
"Alright," you sighed. "Alright, I'll try for real this time."
"Thank you," she replied, moving off to her next post. You stood there for a moment, hands over your stomach. You grabbed your index and middle finger with your dominant hand before heading off to your post and starting the workday for real.
...
The workday ended in due time, slow and steady. Most of it was spent in the breakroom when not checking in on the animals and feeding them. Typhus was gone from the picture for much of it, gods know where. You said your goodbyes to the group before getting back into your car, and your playlist was back where you'd left it. You sighed, putting your head on the steering wheel.
Alright, you reasoned with yourself, you need to go home. You have a merman to attend to.
The song finished, and you showed up at your house soon enough. You didn't even enter through your front door, instead beelining to the back. Mortarion looked up at you, his tail swishing in the water, before he swam to the side of the pool.
"How was... work?" he asked. "Do pardon me, I am still learning your species' nomenclature."
"Work is the right word," you said, kneeling next to him. "I do hope you didn't get too lonely, Mortarion.."
"I endure," he said, looking up at you. You took off your socks and shoes and left them by the side of the pool before you looked down at your pants.
"Is something wrong with your pants?" Mortarion asked.
"I..." you started. "So, humans wear pants underneath their pants. Most of the time, at least? And it's a bit uncouth in our culture to show them. Uh..." you started, blushing. "Man. I'm too tired to go upstairs and change. Is it okay if I show you the... garments under my pants?"
"I don't see anything wrong with it," Mortarion shrugged before you tugged off your pants. You took your phone and keys out of your pocket, and put them on the glass table by your pool before dipping your legs into the pool again. Mortarion looked away, before he looked back up at your face.
"You're beautiful," he said, before tensing up. You heard a car pull into your driveway, and you tensed up too.
"I'm not expecting anyone," you said, getting up quickly. "Please. Hide?" you asked.
"You don't exactly had a huge pool," he grumbled, submerging himself.
You entered through the back door, and looked out front. The car was... familiar, though you couldn't put your finger on where it was from. Hurriedly, you looked for something to put around your waist before you found a blanket on your couch and draped it over you as quick as you could. And then you saw the person coming out of the car.
It was Typhus.
Part of you was relieved that it wasn't a fed or anything, but it was Typhus. You rushed back towards Mortarion, towards your backyard, as he made his way through the gate. He shut the wooden thing with a quiet thud, as his eyes darted to you. You shifted the blanket over your legs, glad that it was covering quite a bit.
"I..." you started, your fists balling up. You looked to your feet. "I didn't invite you here."
Taglist: @bispecsual@justeverythingnothingelse@bleedingichorhearts @nekotaetae@historitor-bookshelf
#warhammer 40k x reader#primarch x reader#mermay#mermay 2024#mortarion x reader#reader insert#mortarion#warhammer lobotomy
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Now spiderbit fits tempo perdido so so much more
The song is romantic for sure but the song sounds so tragic and dispering
The name is literally "lost time"
The lyrics are both romantic and sad
Look
Todos os dias quando acordo
Every day when i wake up
Não tenho mais
I don’t have
O tempo que passou
The time that passed anymore
Mas tenho muito tempo
But i have a lot of time
Temos todo o tempo do mundo
We have all the time in the world
Todos os dias
Everyday
Antes de dormir
Before sleeping
Lembro e esqueço
I remember and forget
Como foi o dia
How the day was
Sempre em frente
Always going foward
Não temos tempo a perder
We dont have any time to lose
Nosso suor sagrado
Your holy sweat
É bem mais belo
Is way more beutiful
Que esse sangue amargo
Then this bitter blood
E tão sério
And is so serious
E selvagem! Selvagem!
It’s feral! Feral!
Selvagem!
Feral!
Veja o sol
See the sun
Dessa manhã tão cinza
In this grey morning
A tempestade que chega
A storm that comes
É da cor dos teus olhos
And it’s the color of your eyes
Castanhos
Hazel
Então me abraça forte
So hold me tight
E diz mais uma vez
And tell me once more
Que já estamos
That we are already
Distantes de tudo
Far away from every
Temos nosso próprio tempo
We have your own time
Temos nosso próprio tempo
We have your own time
Temos nosso próprio tempo
We have your own time
Não tenho medo do escuro
I am not afraid of the dark
Mas deixe as luzes
But let the lights
Acesas agora
On now
O que foi escondido
What was hidden
É o que se escondeu
And what hided itself
E o que foi prometido
And what was promissed
Ninguém prometeu
Nobody promissed it
Nem foi tempo perdido
It wasn’t even lost time
Somos tão jovens
We are so young
Tão jovens! Tão jovens!
So young! So young!
#qsmp#the hazel is dark brown eyes not hazel ones#i chose hazel because it looks prettier#and the hold me tight is actually hug me tight#but it dosent make any sanse in english#roier#cellbit#spiderbit#guapoduo#Spotify
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sure i'll do that picrew meme idk how many people have already done it, i keep seeing it show up
picrew available here
Also the last song i listened to was either Lower by Tender or Radiance & Rust from the vintage story ost idr it was last night s
#spy's talky things#delete later#last music i listened to was last night so idr which it was but both of them are open in my tabs so one of them#also i considered going with the bi flag but everyone knows im a raging bisexual so it isn't necessary#the problem with picrews is they always make me look prettier than i actually am#neat fact about my eyes btw. they used to be very dark brown#but eyes sometimes change colour a bit over the course of your life. mine lost a lot of pigment with age and now they're hazel#the inner ring is still brown but the outer ring is a very clear green i'd love if they keep going tbh
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Friendly reminder that I am a shapeshifter
#is my hair black or dark brown?#are my eyes hazel or light brown?#tune in next time when we discover that my skintone is actually a shade darker than that one!#profile pic update#new profile pic
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doing character design for live-action characters is fun bc like. in mediums where the characters' physical features have already been chosen with an artistic goal in mind the color schemes are basically never ambiguous. nobody's staring intently at a screenshot of Usagi going BUT WHAT COLOR ARE HER EYES I JUST CAN'T TELL they're blue. they're unambiguously, boldly, very obviously blue, because the artists involved picked a very blue shade of blue so you can tell they're blue. but real people's eye colors simply do not work that way! that degree of saturation is super uncommon which makes it less clearly defined! ex. I would say my eyes are a light blue, but absolutely would not fault anyone for interpreting them as grey; I read Alex's eyes as green, so I give River green eyes, but in text Elizabeth is referred to as having blue eyes, so I give Elizabeth blue eyes.
this ambiguity of real life eye colors though means sometimes I'll have decided on, like, hazel or brown for a character's eyes and then a fic will be like THEIR BLUE EYES and I'm like their what now
#Mouse talks!#I am so attached to/used to my interpretation of Susan as a brown-eyed blonde that I forget Sherry's eyes are actually a little lighter#in a way that I guess could pretty easily be read as a dark green/blue#Susan just FEELS like she should have deep brown eyes. to me...#Laura I at one point was like I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT COLOR YOUR EYES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE#and then I went ohhhhhh. whenever I find myself thinking that everyone else always says the eyes in question are hazel.#so Kerry has hazel eyes in my world!
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every time i see a character be listed with the wrong eye color i lose a little bit of my life force.
#nancy's eyes are BLUE; mike's eyes are DARK BROWN; steve's eyes are HAZEL-BROWN; will's eyes are HAZEL; el's eyes are BROWN... the list#goes on... and is this smth kinda dumb to lose your life force over? sure. but do i care? no. i'm a sucker for details no matter how small#people who don't pay attention to detail are the ones that have me like......well ok. you're wrong but ok.#💖 𝑮𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑹𝑨𝑳 : * out of character .
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Thinking abt will with heterochromia eyes after being possessed after the mind flayer
#one dark brown eyr and one hazel green eye yup yup yup#my post#mike: when he has homophobia in his eyes 😍😍#WHERED THAT ONE EDIT
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jason todd actually has brown eyes he just wears coloured contacts
#he wore blue ones as robin and green ones after his death#debating if i want him to have hazel eyes or really dark and rich brown ones....#its like a mentally ill Sophie's Choice#this is technically a#jason hc#but? im right so im not counting it as one secretly >:3 die mad come back and fight me if u disagree#jason todd#crypt callings
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"Make Me."
Mike Schmidt x fem!reader
summary: you hate your coworker. he's rude, cocky and doesn't do his job. but, god, is he hot.
warnings: 18+ content, minors dni, afab reader, swearing, pet names, finger sucking, slight choking, oral f!receiving, size kink if you squint, creampie, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 you tap it guys)
authors note: Mike is kind of an asshole in this but it's okay we love him anyway, he's just misunderstood. they're just both having a bad time and taking it out on each other. I want him.
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
You wandered though the empty pizzeria, flashlight in hand. The air was heavy on your shoulders, decades of dust made your nose itch. You preferred patrolling Freddy's to sitting in the security office. There was one main reason for that.
Mike.
Your coworker Mike made your blood boil. He possessed this indescribable quality that made him insufferable to be around. It seemed every conversation you engaged in ended in an argument. Mike would barely talk to you or acknowledge you, preferring to keep his headphones secured to his head. He wasn't the best at his job either. Not long ago he had forgotten to properly lock the pizzeria, leading to a group of intruders trashing the place. This job was difficult enough as it was without having someone else there to make it even worse. What made you even angrier was how hot he was. His curly brown hair, strong arms and broad shoulder made you drool. You wouldn't admit it but your mind tended to wander if you looked at him too much.
You were plunged into sudden darkness as the power shut off. Sometimes it would go black for a moment but then the colourful neon lights would flicker back on. You stopped in your tracks, waiting for a minute. After no sign of the power coming back, you clicked on your flashlight and stormed over the the security office.
Maybe Mike was asleep and didn't notice the power going off. It wouldn't be the first time. But no, he was slouched over in the office chair, holding his flashlight up the illuminate the book he was reading with headphones adorning his head. Your night had been shitty enough already and Mike's shenanigans were only making it worse.
You shook your head in annoyance, flipping the switch to the main breaker and re-illuminating the pizzeria. Surprised by the sudden light, Mike looked around the room, giving you a small nod before returning back to his book. You stared at him in disbelief.
You pulled off his headphones, chucking them into his lap. "Are you serious right now? Did you just not fucking notice the power go off?" you questioned angrily. "Or do you just not care?"
"Get off my back. I'm having a bad night." Mike went to put his headphones back on but you grabbed his wrist.
"So am I. You sit two meters away from the breaker. You really couldn't have turned it on?" You let go of his wrist and rubbing your temples in annoyance.
Mike huffed and stood up, discarded the book and headphones on the chair. "The power was off for five seconds. It's not that big of a deal."
"I don't care. It's your job." Mike rolled his eyes and you frowned, leaning against the desk. "Asshole," you whispered under your breath.
Mike turned to face you, clearly upset by your remark. He stood inches away from you and pinned his hands either side of you on the desk. "What did you call me?" You shrugged innocently. "Say it again."
Being this close, you could smell his aftershave. Mikes hazel eyes staring into your own. Your heart pounded in your chest, cheeks burning under his intense gaze. Mike moved one of his hands up to your face, his thumb trailing teasingly across your lips, gently parting them. "Why don't you put those pretty lips to use and say it again."
You squeezed your thighs together. To say that took you by surprise would be an understatement. You stared up at Mike with half-lidded eyes. Teasingly, you closed your lips around his thumb, holding onto his wrist as you gently licked it. You saw his restraint beginning to crack. You took his finger out of your mouth, still holding onto his wrist.
You smiled innocently. "Make me."
In a split second his lips were on yours. They were soft and warm, moving against yours with an intensity you had never experienced before. Your hand moved from his wrist to the back of his neck, fingers weaving into the soft curls as you pulled him closer. Mike gently bit your bottom lip and you moaned into his mouth.
He grabbed your hips, hoisting you up onto the desk with ease and spreading your legs to slot himself in between them. Mike kissed along your jawline, trailing down to your neck as his hands reached under your hoodie.
"Don't think I don't see the way you look at me, sweetheart," Mike whispered into your ear, sending shivers down your spine as you let out a quiet whimper. His hands ventured beneath your bra to massage your tits. You bucked your hips forward, grinding against his cock confined by his jeans. You can feel Mike's lips smirk against your neck. "You want me so bad, don't you baby?"
You nodded pathetically, holding onto his strong shoulders and whining when his lips disconnected from your neck. Mike's hands moved from your chest to unbutton your pants, almost ripping them as he pulled them off, along with your soaked panties, in one clean move.
He knelt down in front of you, two fingers gently coming up to rub your clit. A fire burned in your stomach as his fingers moved slowly, Mike kissing along your inner thighs. Your hand came to rest on his head, holding onto his curls, resisting the urge to shove his face between your legs.
"Look how wet you are for me, sweetheart."
His mouth finally connected with your soaked cunt, tongue darting out to slide between your folds. Your breath shuddered and your hips bucked forward into his mouth. Mike groaned into your pussy, his fingers digging into your thighs, sure to leave finger prints as he ate you out like a starved man.
Your juices dripped down his chin. He sucked on you clit, earning a guttural moan from you. You felt him let out a moan of his own against your cunt. You could feel a knot building up in your stomach, your thighs quivering as he brought you close to orgasm.
Mike pulled away, giving your clit a soft kiss before wiping is face clean with the back of his hand. He stood back up and roughly kissed you and you could taste yourself against his lips.
As your lips collided, your hands reached down to desperately unbuckle his belt, tugging his jeans and boxers down. You stroked his cock, already leaking precum. Mike groaned, thrusting up slightly into your soft hands.
He pulled away from the kiss, watching as you moved the tip of his cock to rub between your sopping folds. Mike's breath was shaky and his hands gripped your hips desperately.
"Want me to put it in, Mikey?" you teased with an innocent smile.
Mike's hand travels up to your throat, squeezing it slightly. "Don't think you're the one in charge here baby girl."
You bit your lip, guiding Mike as he began to slide his cock into you. Your breath hitched at the stretch and Mike's face contorted with pleasure.
He began to fuck you, the monitors on the desk shaking with each thrust. Your head rested against Mike's shoulder, holding onto him for dear life. His cock fit perfectly inside you, hitting the spot that made you see starts. Mike reached his hand between your legs and rubbed your clit.
"Mike!" you cried out. "S'good!"
"You look so pretty fucked dumb by me," Mike puffed out. "You like being stretched out by my big cock, don't ya honey?"
His words made you legs shake, getting closer to climax as his thrusts got rougher, increasing in pace. Mike felt your cunt tighten around him, squeezing him deliciously. He let out little grunts with each thrust, his movements sloppy as he got close to cumming.
The rubbing of your clit sent you over the edge, your back arcing and legs shaking as you came. You cried out Mike's name, head lolling back, overwhelmed with pleasure.
You could see Mike was about to cum and you could feel him throbbing inside you. You leant forward slightly, whispering into his ear, "come inside me, Mikey."
And just like that, he did. He held your hips with bruising force, cumming deep inside you as he whimpered out your name. Mike stayed inside you, panting, sweat dripping from his forehead.
"We should do this more often baby," Mike said with a satisfied smirk.
#fnaf movie#fnaf x reader#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#mike schmidt x reader#mike schmidt#mike schmidt imagine#mike schmidt smut#mike schmidt x you#mike schmidt fnaf#josh hutcherson x reader#josh hutcherson#fnaf 2023
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There is a scale regarding Tmagp characters, that goes from very unhinged about the horrors, to literally couldn’t care less. But I didn’t know how to title it so instead you just get this lineup :)
Added Teddy and Celia over here
[ID: A drawing of The Magnus Protocol characters standing in a line, with captions underneath each person.
The first is Colin Becker, with the caption "known saboteur of FR3-D1 [Freddy]". Colin is a white, ginger haired man wearing a dark green shirt over a black shirt and light brown pants. He's holding one hand against a corkboard of papers and post-it notes. His expression is full of rage.
The next is Gwendolyn Bouchard, captioned "suspicious from association, Gwen Bouchard". She is a white woman with long hazel hair with small braids in it. She's wearing a red vest over a brown shirt, a purple knee length skirt and tights. There is a thought bubble next to her with a picture of a red Among Us character and the word "sus" underneath it. Gwen's face is scrunched up in speculation as she glares angrily at someone far away.
The third person is Samama Khalid, and his caption reads "Sam 'casual cyber-sleuth' Khalid". Sam is a tall, skinny, brown man with curly brown hair. He's wearing a long, dark brown corduroy shirt over a grey shirt, and maroon pants. He's walking while looking at two papers in his hands quizzically.
The next person is Alice Dyre. Her caption says "Alice Dyre; Motto: keep calm and ignore the horrors". Alice is a short fat trans woman with albinism. Her hair is buzzed. She's wearing round glasses, a brown shirt with white color and sleeves, embroidered with red flowers. Her light brown pants have a patch on each knee that match the shape of her diamond star earrings. She has her arms crossed and is watching Sam from the corner of her eyes, nervously.
The last fully visible person is Lena Kelly, with the caption "Evil! Evil!! Evil!! -erm, I mean, Lena Kelly". Lena is a light skinned old woman with blond hair put into a tail with a claw clip. She's wearing a grey business suit over a light grey shirt. She is looking directly at the viewer with a neutral expression.
To the right of Lena is a black arm waving goodbye, cut off by the edge. The caption under it reads "also, Mr. noping out of here before things get ugly, Teddy Vaughn.
\End ID]
Closeups under cut
#finally done!!!#this took me way too long lol. but it was worth it#i realized that my interpretation of some of the characters was very different from other peoples lol#tmagp#the magnus protocol#colin becker#gwendolyn bouchard#samama khalid#alice dyre#lena kelley#teddy vaughn#my art
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Untouchable VI - Azriel x Reader
Untouchable - Azriel x Rhysand'sSister!Reader
Summary: For as long as you can remember, you have always had feelings for Azriel, your court’s spymaster. But after centuries of watching him pine after your own cousin, hoping he’d eventually move on, your wish came true. He moved on—with Elain, your brother’s mate’s sister. Unable to watch him fall in love with someone else again, you flee from Velaris, from him. But things are a lot more complicated than that—more complicated than you ever imagined.
Warnings: Smut (minors dni pls), angst
a/n: Once again, thank you for all the love you've given me on this series!! Your comments seriously make my day! Hope you enjoy this one! I think there will be maybe 9-10 parts total for this story, maybe 8 but we'll see. Thanks for reading! <3
➻❥ Part I ➻❥ Part II ➻❥ Part III ➻❥ Part IV ➻❥ Part V
➻❥ Part VI ➻❥ Part VII ➻❥ Part VIII ➻❥ Part IX ➻❥ Part X
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
Part VI
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
You weren’t sure how long the two of you stayed like that—knelt on the hardwood floor, staring at each other. Azriel’s eyes were filled with such longing, it seemed like he was trying to will the mating bond to snap between the two of you, to free you both from the torture of his bargain. But…
Nothing.
A small tear escaped from the corner of your eye. All this time you had both longed for each other. Desired, craved, hungered after each other. And it had been your own brother standing in the way, creating the rift between the two of you.
One of Azriel’s shadows swirled away from him, a small tendril of darkness, and brushed against the side of your cheek, wiping your tears away. You smiled sadly at the cool touch of his shadows, imagining it was his own hand instead.
Another tendril brushed against your arm in a soothing motion.
You watched them for a moment, swirling around your skin. When you looked back up at Azriel something in his gaze had shifted.
He stood finally, holding out a hand to help you from the floor. You raised your eyebrows in question as he stared down at you with an intensity that had your cheeks turning pink again.
The stray shadow brushed against your cheek again, then down your jaw to your throat. You shivered at the feeling and Azriel’s gaze darkened, a new hunger in them that had the butterflies in your stomach returning.
Azriel stepped closer and wrapped a piece of your hair around his finger. “I just realized something.”
“What is it?” you breathed out.
His face was half lit by the faelights as he stared down at you, still playing with your strand of hair.
“I might not be able to touch you,” he whispered. “But my shadows can.”
“Huh? What do—”
Azriel hushed you, turning you around to face the mirror on your vanity instead. You stared at him through the mirror in question, but his eyes were roaming your body instead.
He brushed your hair over to one shoulder and pressed a soft, gentle kiss to the now exposed skin before standing up to his full height, making you feel so small in comparison.
His eyes met your own and your heart jumped in your chest. Azriel’s hand ghosted up your arm, hovering over your shoulder as he stared at you intently as he ran a finger under the thin strap of your nightgown. Your skin prickled under his touch.
His pupils were blown-out, his once hazel eyes now almost black, as he stared at you with a look that had your thighs clenching together.
Your breath hitched as he began to push down the strap of your nightgown.
"A-Azriel?"
You tilted your head back to look at him but he grabbed your chin with his other hand and directed your attention back to the mirror.
"Watch," he commanded, his voice dangerously low.
It was a thrilling sight, the two of you together. The dimmed faelights in the room bounced off his brown skin, turning him golden and made your violet eyes glow.
He was the neverending night, the shadow always lurking even during the day, the embodiment of the dark side of the moon. And you were his night-blooming flower, made for his gaze.
A shiver ran through you as the strap fell down your arm. The other one followed not even a second later. The silk of your nightgown brushed against the pebbled tips of your breasts before it pooled on the ground, leaving you nearly bare in front of the shadowsinger.
Azriel let out an inhuman growl at the sight of your breasts, his hands fisting at his sides as you watched him restrain himself from touching you. Heat was pooling in your core. You needed him to touch you, needed some relief from the pounding inside of you that begged for him.
Azriel's shadows cascaded over your shoulders, one swirling away to brush against your jaw, as the others made a path to your bare breasts. Your breath hitched, your back arched, as they lightly brushed against your skin, twirling around each nipple.
You gasped as some broke away to travel down your stomach, to circle around your thighs. The shadows applied more pressure to your breasts and you bit your lip, closing your eyes as you tried to imagine Azriel touching you instead.
Azriel's hand wrapped around your waist, laying flat against your stomach as he yanked you back into his hard chest. You could feel his arousal pressing against your ass causing your heart to spike.
"I told you to watch, Princess,” he purred into your ear.
You whimpered, your eyes flying open to stare at him through the mirror before they lowered to your own body, watching as his shadows spun around you, touching you in the places he had been forbidden to.
A stray shadow stroked against your clothed center, drawing a moan from your lips. Your legs were shaking now, goosebumps covering your skin. You couldn't help but rub against his hardened length, whimpering again.
Azriel let out a grunt that sounded like a mixture of both pleasure and pain, his fingers digging into the skin on your stomach. His hand slipped down to finger the waistband of your lace underwear. He made eye contact with you again. You bit your lip and nodded, knowing what he was asking.
He slowly began to push your underwear down your thighs until it fell to the floor along with your nightgown, leaving you completely naked in front of him. Azriel groaned at the sight.
“Gods, you are so beautiful,” he murmured. Your cheeks heated as he hungrily soaked in the sight of your naked body, feeling vulnerable being so bare in front of him while he was still clothed.
His shadows swooped in the moment you were unclothed, their cool touch sending fire roaring through your veins. Your chest was heaving up and down with your heavy breaths, the butterflies in your stomach going wild.
"Azriel," you begged. "Please."
You weren't even sure what you were begging for. But gods, you needed him. Needing him to do something about the ache between your legs, the burning hot desire coursing through you.
“Please what, Princess?”
His voice made another shiver run through your body. So dark and sensual, just like the shadows roaming over your entire body.
Tendrils of his shadows crawled up your legs, brushing against your pulsing core and causing you to gasp as a wave of pleasure hit you.
“I need…” Another gasp as his shadow brushed against your clit. “Gods, Azriel, I need…”
You couldn’t even put it into words, your mind empty because of the pulsating feeling creeping inside of you.
Azriel’s fingers ghosted over your cheek. “I know, princess.”
You moaned as his shadows continued their assault, stroking your core, circling around that sweet bundle of nerves. You trembled beneath their touch.
He pressed another kiss to your bare shoulder before lifting you into his arms and taking you to the bed. He laid you down gently, so softly as if you were the most precious thing in the world to him.
He stood at the end of the bed, his eyes raking in the sight of you flushed with pleasure and laid bare before him. “Gods, what I wouldn’t give to touch you right now,” Azriel mumbled.
You wished more than anything that he could. You needed him.
More shadows cascaded down his body and fluttered to you, encasing you in swirls of darkness. Your arms were yanked above your head, your wrists pinned down to the mattress by his shadows. You whimpered as his shadows swept over your breasts again, your stomach, your thighs.
Azriel reached forward to spread your legs apart, a groan leaving his lips at the sight of your glistening center. His hands left you far too quickly and you bit your lip, staring at him. His wings were spread wide, his hair tousled against his forehead, his gaze dark. He was straining against his pants, his own hand palming his dick to ease the pressure.
His shadows skimmed your thighs and hip bones until they met together at your core, stroking against your clit and your entrance. You writhed, still encased by his other shadows, and mewled at the touch of his shadow hands.
“Fuck, Princess,” Azriel growled as he watched the shadows he controlled continue their assault on you. He quickly undid the ties to his pants, pushing them down and pulling his dick free and standing between your legs. He stroked himself as he watched his shadows ravish your body.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head at the sight of how large he was, at the image in your mind of him fucking you.
“Keep your eyes open,” Azriel ordered, his voice filled with a dominance that only further increased the fire inside of you. “I want you to look at me while I make you cry.”
Your eyes shot open, meeting his feral gaze. You groaned at the sight of him touching himself to the image of his shadows ravaging your body. The pleasure was almost unbearable and you could feel your orgasm building quickly as his shadows swirled around your clit, teased your entrance, over and over again.
“Faster,” he commanded his shadows, who were all too happy to oblige, as he fisted his cock.
Your eyes trailed over Azriel, over his beautiful, devastating face, the muscles in his arms clenching as he stroked himself, his huge wings twitching. He looked like a fallen angel standing before you as he used his shadows to push you further and further to the edge.
“You couldn’t even imagine the things I wish to do to you, Princess,” he groaned as you continued to wither on the bed, moaning in a pool of his shadows. “How I would ruin you, make you forget your own name.”
“Azriel,” you mewled. “Please, I…don’t stop.”
You arched off the bed. Your skin was on fire. Each stroke of his shadows over your breasts, thighs, down your center, around your clit. It was too much. You were falling.
“Fuck. That’s it, Princess,” he grunted, his own hand moving faster. “Let my shadows make you come for me.”
His words pushed you over the edge, your vision nearly going white, as wave after wave of pleasure crashed through your body. You mumbled his name over and over again as lightning shot through your body. Your back arched off the bed, your arms strained against the shadows holding you down.
And then you went limp, panting as you came down from your high. Azriel was cursing under his breath, stroking himself faster and faster, his gaze on your dripping core. You sat up, still breathing heavily. You wanted nothing more than to touch him, to make him come. But you couldn’t. Not without causing him pain.
But you had your own arsenal of powers, you realized.
“Close your eyes, Azriel,” you purred. He met your gaze, the absolute longing in his eyes caused your heart to ache. He did as you said and you closed your own, stroking a claw made of darkness against his mental barrier.
He let you in without hesitation.
You couldn’t touch him in the real world. But here, through the connection in your minds…
You painted him a beautiful picture of you on your knees before him, staring up at him through your lashes as he continued to stroke himself. You licked your lips before replacing his hands with your own. He let out a loud groan, causing you to smile.
You slowly leaned forward until your lips brushed against his tip. You stuck your tongue out, swirling around the head of his dick. He cursed at the image you were putting in his head, his hand moving faster and faster.
You opened your mouth and took him in as far as you could, gagging as his tip touched the back of his throat. You started to bob your head, still looking at him through your lashes as you sucked him off. You showed him gripping your hair with his hands and pushing your head to meet his thrusts, fucking your face, as tears pooled in your eyes.
He had already been so turned on watching his shadows destroy you that he knew he wouldn’t last long.
Just as you felt him drawing closer and closer to the edge, his moans increasing, his thrusts becoming sloppy with no rhythm, you left his mind. His eyes shot open and he cursed at the sight of you kneeling on the bed before him.
He released an unholy moan, chanting your name, as he came. His hot seed shot all over your chest, marking you with his essence.
You watched him ride out his orgasm until his hands slowed down and fell limp at his sides. You magicked yourself clean before rising. Azriel let out another curse, still panting, as he rested his forehead against yours.
You both were silent for a moment, soaking in the tender aftermath of what had undoubtedly changed the relationship between the two of you forever.
“The things I wish to do to you right now, Princess” he grunted, chest still heaving. “If…if only I could touch you.”
“I will find a way to break this bargain, Azriel,” you breathed out. “I will. This can’t be it for us. I..I refuse.”
You would read every single book in the library under the house of wind if you had to. The King of Hybern had been able to break your brother’s bargain with Feyre. There had to be other instances of bargains being broken.
“We can’t… we can’t tell your brother about this,” Azriel muttered. “If he were to find out, he’d send me away from you.”
You wanted nothing more than to march to your brother’s office and rip him a new one. But that still wouldn’t break the bargain. And depending on how irrational Rhys was, it might just make things worse. Azriel was right, he might send him away.
“We keep it a secret for now,” you agreed. “No one has to know.”
“I’m…I’m so sorry,” Azriel mumbled. “I should’ve never done this to us.”
“It’s not your fault, Azriel. How could you have known?”
“I should’ve known. Even then, my feelings towards you were so consuming. I should’ve known they’d never go away. I don’t care if we’re not mates. I love you. I always have and I always will, even if we cannot be together. Even if I must go the rest of my life without laying a single hand on you.”
Your heart broke at his declaration and confession. You sighed, closing your eyes.
“I love you too, Azriel. We’ll figure this out. I promise.”
He nodded, finally pulling away but you reached for his hand. “Stay, please?”
“Always,” he murmured back.
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
Prince Cedric pulled you aside the next morning after breakfast as his servants were gathering your luggage. He had asked for a quick moment alone and despite Azriel’s disagreement, you sent him away. Still he stayed within eyesight.
“So, I’m sure your brother has informed you of my true intentions towards you, Princess,” Cedric said with a soft smile on his face.
“He has,” you answered, quietly. You had been dreading this moment since you came.
“Have you made a decision yet?”
You genuinely felt bad for the Prince. He had been nothing but kind to you since you had known him. Had treated you well your entire stay. But none of it was ever going to matter. Your heart laid with Azriel and Azriel alone.
“Prince Cedric,” you started, then paused trying to find a way to word your answer politely. “I do appreciate how kind you have treated me these last few days but you must understand, it is a big decision to make. To leave my family and live so far away—”
“It’s okay, Princess. You don’t need to make any excuses. I’m not blind nor dumb. Just perhaps a tad bit too hopeful.”
“What—”
“It’s the shadowsinger, right?” he said with a sad smile. “He’s the one who’s truly won over your heart, hasn’t he?”
You stumbled over your words, eyes widening. Had it been so obvious? You had tried very hard this morning to scrub yourself clean of his scent.
“It’s okay,” he continued quickly, raising his hands in surrender. “Your secret is safe with me though I do feel a bit of jealousy towards him, I must admit. You would’ve made a beautiful queen.”
“Cedric, I-I don’t want you to think I’ve led you on. I did want to get to know you, to see if we had a connection. But—”
“But the heart wants what the heart wants. I understand, y/n. I would not want to take a wife who longs for another anyway.”
You bowed your head, still feeling a bit guilty.
“I did truly enjoy my time here, Cedric. I will look back on it fondly, despite how it turned out.”
“Me too, Princess,” he replied with a smile. “My castle doors will always be open for you, even as a friend.”
“Thank you, Cedric,” you smiled. “I hope you will still consider an alliance with my brother.”
“I will be in touch,” he confirmed with a nod of his head.
You said your goodbyes after that before it was finally time to return home, back to the Night Court.
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
A few weeks went by. You scourged the library for any books that talked about bargains and bonds, exhausting yourself with your research. Azriel helped when he could, though he wasn’t always around, so as to not draw attention to what the two of you were doing.
You couldn’t help but give your brother a bit of a cold shoulder. You felt betrayed by him. You had always known he was protective, but this had crossed the line. You spent more nights at the Moonstone Palace, claiming you had work to do regarding the Court of Nightmares, which wasn’t entirely a lie.
It made being with Azriel easier. Each night he snuck into your room and left before the sun came up, just in case anyone decided to drop by. A rose was always resting on your bedside table in lieu of his presence when you’d wake up alone.
But it was hard even being together. It was agony to barely be able to touch each other, for Azriel to have to endure pain for as long as he could just to kiss you or to stroke your cheek. Your daemati powers and his shadows had been useful but it was nothing like being able to truly touch each other.
You were not going to give up. You would find a way to break the bargain. You had promised after all.
But part of you began to doubt how long this could go on. Would Azriel grow tired of only ever using his shadows with you? Would he resent you? So many questions like that swarmed your head despite Azriel trying to assure you that he only wanted you.
Hiding your relationship didn’t help with that either. Elain was still enamored with Azriel, still followed him around like a lost puppy dog. You had to clench your fist every time you were in a room with the two of them despite Azriel not reciprocating her feelings or entertaining them.
That didn’t stop her from constantly sitting near him, resting her hands on him, batting her eyelashes in his direction. It caused something vile to coil in your stomach every time you had to watch her brush her fingers against his, rest a hand on his arm.
It was just a reminder that you couldn’t do that. That every touch you gave him resulted in pain.
And that part of you that was insecure wondered if Azriel would eventually give in to her. After all, he could touch her, feel her, do whatever he wanted with her…unlike you.
Elain could make him feel pleasure without the curse of pain being attached. She could touch him, fuck him, do all sorts of things to him. Things you couldn’t.
How long could he truly go without the touch of another? What if the bargain could never be broken?
You let out a sigh, dropping your head against the book you were currently reading about bargains. So far, nothing had been useful and you just wanted to scream and scream.
“You should take a break.”
You jumped, surprised at the sudden voice in the room. You lifted your head to see Azriel leaning against the doorframe that led out to your balcony. Behind him came the noise of music and laughter as dusk was falling and the people of Velaris were coming alive into the night.
“I still haven’t been able to find anything about breaking bargains. You’d think it would be a more popular subject.”
Azriel strided towards you until he was next to where you sat in your chair at your desk.
“It is a taboo topic,” Azriel replied. “Bargains are magic bound by the Cauldron. Breaking them goes against the Mother, or so it’s thought.”
“Being able to make them in the first place seems to be against the Mother,” you mumbled under your breath. Because how could a stupid bargain be keeping you from being with the one you loved? That didn’t seem very divine.
Azriel grabbed your chair and twisted it so you faced him, moving you as if you weighed nothing. You let out a small noise of surprise.
Azriel kissed the top of your head, stroking your hair. “Just take a break, Princess. You’ve been at it for so long today. You’re going to drive yourself mad.”
You let out a huff before a feline grin spread across your face.
“I suppose you might be able to convince me to take a break,” you purred, looking up at him through your lashes.
You stroked a claw against his mental shields and showed him a pretty image of you bent over the desk while he took you from behind.
Azriel’s gaze instantly darkened as he groaned, his shadows swimming around him like they were already anticipating being used. He smirked, leaning down to whisper in your ear, “I can do more than convince you, Princess.”
Azriel balanced himself with his hands on the back of your chair and leaned down to kiss you on your lips causing butterflies to erupt inside your stomach.
Your eyes fluttered shut, your chest already heaving as his lips met yours.
A knock against your door had the two of you flying apart. Your eyes widened as you stared at Azriel.
“Dove, it’s me.”
You mouthed a curse at the sound of your brother’s voice. The door started to creak open.
“Hide,” you whispered to Azriel.
He was already sinking into his shadows just as the door to your room flew open. Your heart was still pounding as your brother strode in, his eyes falling on you. He raised an eyebrow.
“Was someone else in here just now? I could’ve sworn I heard another voice.”
“And I could’ve sworn I locked my door,” you grumbled, smoothing your hair down.
His eyes darted around the room and his nostrils flared. You saw the immediate realization as he recognized Azriel’s scent.
“Azriel was here just a minute ago,” you hastily answered. “He was dropping off some books for me.”
���Books? What for?”
As he walked closer, you slammed the book on your desk shut, not wanting him to see the section you had been reading.
“Just some stuff I’m doing research on to do with Hewn City.”
Rhys’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t say anything else about it thankfully.
“Well, tell Azriel the next time he drops something off for you, he can come through the front door,” your brother said, crossing his arms over his chest.
You bristled at his tone, the hidden frustrations you had with him breaking through for a second as you snapped back, “What does it matter?”
“It matters because I needed to discuss something with him and it would’ve been nice to know he had dropped by.” Rhys gave you a look, one you knew all too well.
Rhys’s eyes roamed over you, then darted around your room again. “Does Azriel make it a habit coming into your room at night?”
“No,” you answered quickly. “You’re the one who made him my personal guard. I don’t need a guard in Velaris so he helps me in other ways, like fetching books from the library for me.”
“Fine. Well if Azriel decides to come around again, send him to my office.”
You only nodded in response, trying to hide your anger. You had to play this game for now. You wouldn’t ruin what little you and Azriel had. “Is there a reason you barged into my room?”
“We’re working on a new trade deal with Thesan and I need an update on how much iron they’re mining on average each month in the Court of Nightmares.”
“Alright, I’ll work on a report for you and Feyre. Is that all?”
Rhys raised an eyebrow. “So eager to get rid of me, dove? What’s gotten into you lately?”
“Nothing.”
Rhys waited for you to keep speaking but you refused. You were still so angry with him and you knew if you kept talking, there was a chance it’d all spill out.
“Nothing? That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”
“What do you want me to say, Rhys? There’s nothing wrong.”
“Bullshit. You’ve been acting strange for a few weeks now. What’s going on with you?”
“Like I said, nothing. I’ve just been busy. I did ask for more responsibility, after all.” You crossed your arms over your chest and leaned back in your chair, trying to give off a casual demeanor.
“Being busy doesn’t account for your snappy mood.”
You scoffed. “Well, maybe I’m just tired of you hovering over my shoulder all the time! Gods forbid you let me handle things on my own once in a while.”
Rhys took a step back as your words hit him. You expected anger but we’re shocked to see a bit of guilt and sadness cloud his face. “Okay, okay. I know I’ve been overbearing. I’m sorry, dove, I just…it’s hard not to see you as the little girl I took care of all those years.”
You sighed, not expecting this. Perhaps you had been right when you told Azriel that the two of you should go to Rhys. Maybe he would be open to helping you both try to find a way to break the bond…maybe it was a mistake to hide it from him.
“I know, Rhysie, I just…I want to feel like I’ve done something important on my own for once, alright?”
“Okay,” Rhys said, holding his hands up in surrender. “I’ll leave you alone.”
He made to leave finally and you let out a small breath of relief.
“Oh, and we’re having a family dinner tomorrow night at the House of Wind. Helion will be attending as well so wear something nice,” Rhys said, moving back towards your door.
“Alright, I will,” you answered, wanting him to just go already.
He paused with his hand on your doorknob, looking back at you for a moment. “I love you, little dove. I know you said nothing is wrong but I hope you know you can come to me about anything. I will always help you in any way I can.”
“I know, Rhysie. I love you too.”
He nodded, seeming satisfied for the moment and left finally, closing the door shut behind him. You flicked a wrist to lock it with magic, as well as put a shield around the room.
A smile overcame your face as Azriel stepped out of the shadows. You were worried that your brother had killed his mood, would send him running but thankfully, Rhys hadn’t seemed to deter him at all. In fact, the thrill of it all seemed to only spur him on more.
He strided to you and locked you in a passionate kiss that had you gasping, his tongue immediately claiming your mouth.
When he pulled back to look at you, he was grinning wolfishly. “So, where were we?”
You giggled as he lifted you off your chair and sat you down on your desk. You looped your arms around his neck, carefully to touch him as minimally as you could. “I believe you were about to convince me to take a break with you.”
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
“I told you. I couldn’t get her alone. That fucking shadowsinger wouldn’t let her out of his sight. Though now I know it’s because he’s fucking her.”
“I don’t care for your excuses, Princeling. I told you to bring me the girl. That was our deal.”
“What’s so special about her anyways? Certainly there’s something else I can do for you, something else you need.”
The other male studied the Prince for a moment until the younger male seemed to cringe under his stare, slight fear in his eyes.
“If you must know, the moment she stepped foot on these lands I felt the spike of power coming from her and I knew I had to add her to my collection. You want my help overthrowing the King, you bring me that girl.”
The prince sighed, frustrated. “And how do you suppose I do that? She’s being watched like a hawk by both her brother and the shadowsinger.”
“That’s your problem to figure out. You have your own magic, no? Time to get clever, Princeling. My patience is running out.”
Prince Cedric clenched his jaw but nodded, knowing it wise to not argue with the sorcerer.
Koschei gave him one last look before retreating into the shadows leaving the Prince standing alone at the shore of his lake.
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
a/n: sooooo, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!! hahah What do we think the prince is gonna do to kidnap our girlieee? and do you think she should tell Rhys what's going on with Azriel? Do we think her brother has regrets about making that bargain and would actually try to help them break the bond? hmmm who could possibly know
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#acotar#azriel#fanfic#acotar fanfiction#acotar x reader#acotar x you#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel fic#azriel shadowsinger#azriel acotar#azriel x rhysandssister#rhysand sister#shadowsinger x reader#fanfiction#azriel imagine#azriel angst#smut
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hello!! so im going to try to make a disability inclusive picrew and id like some help making sure i include as much as i can!
the person would be seated and pretty much all of the body would be visible. ill post it when im done!
its mostly focused on phys disabilities, bc i so rarely can find picrews w good diverse mobility aid options, but ofc im including non phys disabilities as well! (sorry for clunky phrasing, im unclear on the preferred term for non phys disabilities so thats the term ive been using)
what i have so far is below the read more. be warned it is a very long list! (every option/category of option i could think of)
if you think i missed something, please recommend it!!! (related note: id much rather get recommended something that is already on the list than miss something!)
category: head
various jaw shapes
missing jaw
crooked/misaligned jaw
category: skin
wide range of skin tones, including white/extremely pale (albino)
freckles, lots of scar variation (including burns), vitiligo, acne, facial hair, eye bags, other skin conditions (trying to make a list)
breathing tubes, masks, bandages
bindis
category: eyes
blue, grey, green, hazel, medium brown, dark brown, black, red
heterochromia options
lazy eye options
clouded eye options
closed eyes that look like winking and closed eyes that don't
missing eyes
category: mouth
general expressions
variations for color
variations for cleft lip, scars, facial paralysis
category: ears
ear size, shape, missing ears, deformed ears
category: eye/ear accessories
earrings, earplugs, hearing aids, bone anchored hearing aids, headphones, earmuffs (modifications for missing/deformed ears), cochlear implant
glasses, sunglasses, blue light glasses, eye patches, eye masks/bandages
category: nose
various shapes & sizes, bumpy noses, deformed noses
category: eyebrows
lots of expression options, thickness options, color options (including white)
one missing, scarring, eyebrow slits
category: body
body types: very skinny, skinny, fat, very fat (options for muscularity too if i can figure out how)
body hair, scarring, freckles, tattoos
range of missing limbs, deformed limbs, prosthetics
diabetes patch
category: hair
wide range of hairstyles, bangs, and colors
patchy hair, scalp scarring, receding hairline
category: head coverings
range of hats, hair accessories, headbands, bandanas
range of hijabs, turbans, kippot (+ more variation in cultural headwear if theres space)
head bandages
category: clothes
range of styles and colors
adaptable to body types (+ breasts), missing/deformed limbs
category: shoes
range of styles
adaptable to body types, missing foot/feet
category: hand accessories
gloves, bracelets, rings, nails, wrist braces, splint rings
range of types, adaptable to missing/deformed hands
category: pins
range of queer pride flags
pronoun pins
animals, fandoms/characters (def muppets, feel free to recommend characters and i'll try to include some of the most popular ones)
general disability pride, cripplepunk, madpunk, sign union flag, & pin (for systems), specific disabilities (need some help with these, send me specific flags and i’ll include them!)
category: seat
chair, manual wheelchair, power chair, spinny chair, throne, rollator, electric scooter
category: mobility aids
cane, white cane, crutches (underarm/axillary and forearm), rollator, walker (with and without wheels), electric scooter
joint braces (shoulder, elbow, knee, ankle, back, others?), joint tape, compression garments
category: other disability aids
AAC tablets, word cards, glucose monitor, sunflower lanyard, inhaler, medical id bracelet
stoma bag, central line catheter, picc line catheter, heart monitor, breathing tube, feeding tube (nasal and abdominal), tracheostomy
stim toys/chewelry, stuffed animals, phone
service animals
#disability#chronic disability#chronic illness#physical disability#physically disabled#cripple punk#cpunk#cripplepunk#actually disabled#disabled#disabled community#neurodivergent#actually neurodivergent#madpunk#neurodiversity#neuropunk#actually mentally ill#mental illness#actually chronically ill#words from my weird little brain#disability picrew tag
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Stay With Me | Rhysand (II)
Rhysand x Plus size reader
Y/N gets hurt during a mission- and Rhysand is more than willing to be the one to take care of her.
Warnings: Mature themes (18+), swearing, blood and gore, and smut.
MASTERLIST - 1 and 2
PART ONE
PART THREE
"Cassian, for Cauldron's sake," I scowl, my hands weakly slapping against his broad, solid chest for the fifth time. "Will you put me down? I can walk-"
"Y/N, you have a dagger embedded to the hilt in your fucking thigh," Cassian grimaced, cocking his head down at me, his hazel eyes flaring as he glances down at my wounded leg, his strong arms holding me to his chest so carefully. "You won't be able to stand, never mind walk."
I grumble irate, looking away and dropping my hands back onto my lap with a pout. I hear Azriel chuckle softly, his tall figure following closely behind us as Cassian carries me through the House of Wind.
"Where- where's Rhys?" I ask, my head peeking over Cassian's shoulder, trying to see through the gaps in his powerful wings- looking for those stary eyes and a breathtaking smile. I wince when a sharp pain shoots up my leg, even if my mind is preoccupied with the fact Rhys is nowhere to be found.
"Now you want to know about Rhys," Cassian mutters under his breath and the passive-aggressive tone catches me off guard. I lift my eyes to his hard face, but he doesn't meet my gaze, his jaw locked and eyes staring straight ahead.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I demand, my eyes narrowing but Cassian doesn't reply, he doesn't even react. Instead, he stalks into the lounge, his grip tightening around my body as the fire blazes to life.
"Rhys is dealing with the remaining Hybern soldiers," Azriel clears his throat, coming to stand beside us, his eyes flickering over Cassian's face contemplatively. "He said he would be back as soon as he was done."
Dealing with Hybern, he didn't need to explain what that meant.
"Madja's on her way now," Cassian states and he doesn't give me a second to speak before he marches over to the plush, large green sofa situated directly in front of the fireplace, his movements stiff as he lays me flat against the cushions.
"Cassian, wait-" I frown, groaning as I grab on his arm as it slips out from under me, stopping him from pulling away. "What's wrong with you? You're being-"
"An asshole," He finishes, and upon seeing the hurt in my eyes and then the wound steadily leaking blood over the sofa, he sighs, his handsome face melting into a dejected frown. "I'm acting like an absolute asshole, I know I'm- I'm sorry."
"It's alright, I'm just surprised," I swallow, and relief fills me when his eyes soften, when the Cassian I know and love seems to reappear as he settles on his knees beside me, his large hands cupping mine gently. "I've never been on the receiving end of your anger, Cass."
"I'm not angry, just frustrated," He admits and when I raise a sharp brow at him, he shrugs, "You've been avoiding Rhysand for weeks, Y/N and I don't like seeing the two of you so at odds."
My eyes widen in surprise at his words, and I feel the scrutinising stares of Cassian and Azriel before me, their eyes tracing over every reaction and breath I make.
"I haven't been avoiding him," I swallow, gritting my teeth as Azriel slides a pillow under my right thigh, elevating the injured leg, "I've been busy-"
"Bullshit," Cassian scoffs, and I narrow my eyes at him when his grip on my hand tightens forcing my gaze to his again, "You've been avoiding him and we all know it, Rhys most of all."
"I don't- I don't know what you're talking about," I breathe roughly, and both the males before me share a disbelieving glance between them, one that makes me scowl. "Seriously, I don't- Madja, you're here!"
Relief, pure relief at the sight of the dark-skinned female, her spindrift hair in disarray and her brown eyes narrowing in disapproval at the dagger's hilt poking out of my thigh as she strode into the lounge.
"Thank you to whoever elevated her leg, you've made this easier for us both," Madja greets and Azriel nods unconsciously at her praise. "Let's see what the damage is."
Cassian's knowing eyes don't relent upon me but as Madja crouches on the floor, he rises, sighing as he lets go of my hand, letting it fall between us. I gnaw on my lip at the silence, but I manage a strained smile at the healer before me.
"Thank you for coming so quickly, Madja," I focus on my breathing as her delicate hands press around the entry point of my injury, her fingertips turning stark red immediately.
"You have a hunting dagger in your thigh, Y/N," Madja raises a pointed brow at me, and when I whimper, my jaw locking tight at the tender pain, her face melts into a frown. "I'm going to have to pull this out inch by inch and thread the skin together as I go."
"I hate Hybern soldiers," I mutter dismally, my head lolling back against the pillow and my eyes meeting the worn ceiling, counting the cracks one by one to calm the panic clawing at me. "Do it, do whatever you need to Madja."
I feel their eyes on me, all of them, but when I curl both my hands into steeled fists when I grit my teeth and clamp my eyes shut, I feel Madja sigh- and her hands come to that dagger.
I wish Rhysand was here.
That's the first thought I have, I'm not sure why. I picture his violet gaze and lazy smile and the sound of his laugh, warm and wonderful and somehow, I feel better.
Though it doesn't last long.
"What the fuck were you thinking?!"
A swarm of dark, furious power hits me, hits everyone in the room at the same time that violent, death-incarnate voice bellows out the words. I startle, my body jolting and my eyes snapping back open and moving to the entryway.
Rhysand- covered in blood.
Staining his hands and arms and torso and chest, as if he had ripped apart the males with his bare hands. Splattered across his neck and jaw and cheeks, as if he had been ferocious and merciless with his assault.
And the smell, it wasn't one soldier or two, no, it was dozens and dozens of them. All their scents, all their blood and gore and their fear spread over Rhysand like a second skin and all I could think was that he hadn't stopped.
He hadn't spoken or breathed or thought- he had just killed and killed and killed.
"What the fuck were you thinking, Y/N?!" Rhysand demanded again, his eyes as dark as midnight, his voice as terrifying as I had ever heard it as he glared at me, his chest rising and falling so fast.
"Rhys-" Cassian warns from behind me, but Rhysand can't hear him, I don't think he can hear anything over the roaring anger in his head. I see it in the way he marches forward, see it in every hard and brutal inch of his muscled and lean form the closer he gets.
"You got in the way, that soldier was coming for me-" He seethed, stopping at the back of the sofa, and my eyes blinked heavily as he clamped down two large, ringed hands onto the material, nails cutting into the material to calm his fury. "What the fuck were you thinking?"
"I was thinking that I didn't feel like dealing with your whining when he stabbed you," I grit out, my voice as cold as ice, as cold as Rhysand's as I glared up at him, the anger distracting me from the burning erupting through my leg. "Forgive me for saving you, Rhysand, next time-"
"Next time?" He laughs, a cruel, awful sound and I fought through the fatigue, forcing myself to watch his midnight eyes narrow, to see his lip curl back to reveal his sharp canines as he towered above me. "If you think you're joining us on another mission again darling, then you're not as smart as you like to think you are."
"Rhys now really isn't the time-" Azriel stepped forward, his shadows dancing wildly over his shoulders, the tension and raging emotion in the room making them more chaotic. Rhysand doesn't look at Azriel, he doesn't look at anyone but at me- intense, consuming, powerful.
And I can't look away from him.
"Oh, bite me Rhysand," I snarl, my own canines flashing as I tilt my head up to his, my hair sticking to the sweat on my forehead, my heart hammering in my chest, and my whole body sore from the aftermath of the fight- but still I snarl at him.
"If the two of you are done quarrelling," Madja sighs, drawing us away from our heated argument and it's her words that remind me why we're here- reminds me of the agonising, throbbing pain now lancing through my leg. "I need quiet and calm so I can focus please."
"I'm sorry that you're being burdened on your day off with this, Madja," Rhysand breathes, and despite his voice quietening, every word was sharp and low, full of contempt. I grit my teeth painfully as Madja inches the dagger out of my thigh, so fucking slowly.
"Rhysand," I hiss, the cut of the razor-fine blade as it's eased out, accompanied by the burning light of Madja's magic making bile rise in my throat, "Shut up."
She drags it up another inch and I bite down on my cheek, metal and bitterness filling my mouth, coating my tongue, invading my senses, but it doesn't distract me from the pain.
"Now who's whining?" Rhysand taunted darkly, and I felt the feel of his shadows and starlight dancing around me, over me, laden with anger and frustration. I couldn't open my eyes, couldn't look at him, or speak to him.
Not as Madja dragged out the blade another inch.
"Rhysand-" I warned, my throat as rough as glass now, my hands clenching at either side, so hard my nails cut into my palms, carving crescent moons.
There was a lot of blood, gallons of it, and Madja's hands pressed down firmer, her strength astounding as she tried to staunch the blood flow, working her magic over my severed skin.
"C'mon darling," Rhysand purred, and I blinked my heavy eyelids open to see his violet gaze, dark and cruel and mocking, the beast in him rearing its head as he watched me. My eyes were like steel, and I let every atom of loathing I had for him at this moment show.
It was almost menacing, the look in his eyes, the blood covering his skin, the arrogance in his words.
"Fuck you-"
The words die on my tongue, they turn to ash in my lungs and all my anger vanishes, replaced by one thing- unbelievable pain. Madja pulls the blade free, and I feel it like a shock current through my entire being, so strong I gasp out desperately.
And Rhysand's whole demeanour flips, like a switch.
The anger? Gone. The frustration? Gone. The shadows and violence that had sullied his eyes? Gone.
All gone- replaced by something... scared? Yes, he was scared. He heard that desperate sound rip from my lips, smelt the blood oozing from me in waves, saw my face tighten with unfathomable pain and he was scared.
I saw it in the way his face dropped, paled, that arrogant smile vanishing instantly, a deep frown carving in its place. A worry so strong it creased his brow, sharpened his handsome face, and made his broad form turn unnaturally still.
"Rhys," I choke out his name, and it's that one word on my lips, that one name, his name, that has him moving in an instant. One second, he's towering over me from behind the sofa's back and then the next, he's knelt by my side, his face inches from mine.
"Shit, Y/N," Rhysand sighed, and I saw the hurt in his eyes as he flickered his gaze over me, tracing over every inch of my face, seeing my visceral reaction to everything Madja was doing. "Shit, I'm sorry."
"That's better," I laugh hoarsely, my eyes welling with heavy tears as I glance at Rhys, trying to focus on the night-blooming jasmine and ocean breeze scent of his skin, under all the grime and blood. "I hate when you use your High Lord's voice on me."
"Me too, darling," He manages a strained smile and I sigh when his hand comes to my face, brushing away my damp hair before moving to cup my cheek, his thumb smoothing over the tears slowly leaking.
"Nearly done," Madja mutters and Rhys glances to the side, his nose flaring at the sight of my blood soaking the cushions, his eyes predatory as he sees Madja's magic close the wound bit by bit. "There was some kind of poison coating the blade, it's resisting my magic, that's why it's taking so long."
"And why it's hurting so much?" I muse, blinking away my tears as I look at the healer, and her grim nod tells me all I need to know. "I really fucking hate Hybern soldiers."
Rhysand laughed, I felt the brush of his warm breath, minty with a hint of bourbon infiltrate my senses and when my eyes met his again, I let myself sink into the stars and constellations, let myself bathe in the feel of him.
"This is the longest you've looked me in the eyes in weeks," Rhysand mutters, and despite the teasing in his words, his eyes held a different story- a sadder one.
"Almost forgot how beautiful you were." He whispered through my mind, and I heard the yearning in every single word as it echoed through me.
"Always such a flirt," I say back, and the room is near-silent as we stare at each other, Rhysand's lip tilting at the corner as he watches me, "I'm sorry, Rhys-"
"Don't" His lips purse, his hand cupping my cheek firmer, forcing my eyes to him, to see the sincerity on his face, "Don't worry about that now."
I managed a small nod, smiling softly at him but the conversation, the conflict hung heavy in the air between us still. I had been avoiding him, like the plague, since that night in the cabin, since we did what we did.
"The poison's slowing down the healing process, I've done what I can for now," Madja says, but her voice sounds further away and it's only then I realise my eyes are fluttering closed, that my body is starting to melt into oblivion. "She needs rest."
I vaguely hear the sound of their low voices as they speak, but as the darkness starts to creep over me, all I can feel is Rhysand's thumb brushing my cheek, his touch unbearably soft and endearing, as if lulling me to sleep.
"Stay with me, Rhys."
A star-flecked hand runs across the expanse of my mind, adoringly, and I feel the distinct feel of his lips at my temple, lingering and firm, pressing a sweet kiss there before pulling away.
"Always, darling."
***
I sense him before I even open my eyes.
He’s erected a shield around me, I feel it ripple in response to every rise and fall of breath in my lungs, a shield of shadows and starlight, a shield of his very essence made to protect me while I slept.
I think it might have been healing me too- fighting whatever vile magic Hybern coated that dagger with, working to ease the pain that had been a forever presence burning through my thigh.
“You’re awake,” Rhysand’s voice greets me as I blink my eyes open, the room dim with Fae light and I smile faintly as the shield he made disappears, flickering out like stars around me. “How do you feel?”
A dull ache throbs through my head as I turn to the side, to where Rhysand sits on the edge of his chair- broad shoulders tense, arms braced on his powerful thighs and his beautiful face hard with worry.
Not a splatter of blood remained on him. Clean, regal, the Rhysand I knew.
“I’m-“ My voice splinters, dehydration making the air cut like glass through my lungs and as I screw my eyes shut, body wrecking with coughs, Rhysand’s immediately at my side. I winced as his large hand slipped under me, fingers curling around my waist to sit me up.
“Here, darling, drink,” His voice shook, but the command was still there, and I could do nothing but brace my weak hands against his corded chest, lips parting when he pressed a water bottle to my mouth, hands agonisingly soft as I slowly sipped from it.
A satisfied moan slipped from me as the cold water ran down my throat, and I felt Rhysand’s hand tighten around my body, fingers digging possessively into my flesh at the soft sound. I sighed as he pulled the bottle away, my weak body slumping back against the pillows behind me.
“Thank you,” I whispered and when my head lifted, meeting his violet gaze, my face softened at the concern in his face, the pain, hating every second of hurt I was in. “I’m alright, Rhys, just a bit weak, but I’m going to be alright.”
His throat bobs roughly and there’s a tense silence that seems to stretch on as he bows his head, his lean form sat on the edge of the bed beside me, his hands resting on either side of my hips- as if he couldn’t bring himself to let go, as if he needed to touch me to know I was really here.
I gnaw on my lip at the hurt twisting his lovely face, nothing of the arrogant and smirking High Lord I knew present. No, not at his darkening gaze stayed locked on my bandaged thigh, blood staining the fabric, nothing but the oversized linen shirt I wore covering me.
“I should have been paying attention,” He breathes, a ragged, awful sound and my eyes widen at the way his shoulder curves inwards as if he was physically carrying the burden of his guilt. “I should have torn that bastard to pieces the second I saw him near you.”
“Don’t Rhys, don’t do that, don’t blame yourself,” I plead sharply, my hand coming to his face, cupping his strong jaw, and lifting those starry eyes to me- hating that nothing shined in them, nothing but unshed tears. “I got in the way knowing what would happen, because I would rather it be me than you.”
“I should have protected you-“ He growls, teeth flashing, and I narrow my eyes at him.
“Don’t be an overprotective asshole, Rhys, I’m as much of a warrior as you are,” I raise a brow and for a second amusement danced in his eyes, tilts his lip just barely. I soothe my thumb across his jaw, smiling softly, “We protect each other, that’s what we do.”
He chuckles, and fuck, if the sound doesn’t make something warm and full fill my heart.
“I love it when you get all angry with me, darling,” Rhysand pressed his cheek into my palm, a roguish grin stretching across his face and something darkened his gaze, something molten as he stared at me, “It’s very attractive.”
“Always such a flirt,” I tease, but the breath gets tighter in my throat as Rhysand inches closer to me, as if some magnet drew us together, an unstoppable force that made it so hard for the two of us to look away.
My tongue darts out, wetting my bottom lip and Rhysand’s eyes drop to my mouth, and he’s getting closer, so closer that I feel every atom in me tense in anticipation of his lips meeting mine.
“Shit-“
I jump, Rhysand sucking in a sharp breath, the both of us so surprised that we spring apart- eyes flashing to the medical basket that appeared on the bed beside us with a soft thud.
“It seems Madja is reminding me that you need to change your bandages,” Rhys grits out through clenched teeth, and I would laugh at the ire on his face as he grabs the basket- if I weren’t blushing so hard, I could feel my skin burning.
I draw my hands to my lap, fiddling aimlessly with my fingers as Rhysand pulls out the vials and binds his long, nimble fingers, gracefully laying out the objects on the bed beside him, handsome face pursed with concentration as looked over the items one by one.
I stayed silent as he shifted on the bed, tugging back the comforter from my body, and I swallowed down the lump in my throat as his eyes slid down my form, calloused hands moving so surely as stretched my leg over his lap, fingers tugging at my bloodied bandage.
“I can do that, you know,” I mutter, my back tensing at the feel of his fingers moving across the flesh of my thigh, his eyes unwavering on my bare leg as he unwrapped the bind. “You don’t have to-“
“I want to,” He said simply, eyes glancing up at me through dark lashes and I saw the gleam, knowing every touch, every caress made something blaze to life in me- seemed to enjoy having that kind of power.
“Besides, it’s my turn to take care of you now,” He muttered roughly, and his tone, the grumble that purred through his chest, told me that changing my bandages wasn’t all he meant. “Just relax for me, yeah?”
He cocks his head, waiting for me to answer- and all I can do is nod, sinking back into the pillows.
There’s a long silence as Rhysand discards the bloodied bandage on the floor beside us, and I winced at the jagged scar that traced the inner part of my thigh- red and angry, small unhealed sections of skin still leaking blood, the poison actively fighting Madja’s healing.
“I should have made his suffering last longer,” Rhys panted, such terrifying, cold violence in his voice, in his eyes as he stared at that wound, and the room seemed to vibrate with the strength of his raging power. “I should have torn him limb by fucking limb for doing this to you.”
“You made him regret it in the end,” I said gently, remembering that Hybern soldier before me one second and then ash on the wind the next. Rhys curled his fingers around my other thigh, fingers teasing the skin, so close to where I wanted him. “We’re here, he’s not.”
“Right as always, darling,” His throat works and he watches, I watch, as his hand traces up my thigh, over my cellulite and stretch marks and as he curves his way between my legs, I keen, thighs inching apart for him.
I gnaw on my lip in anticipation as his thumb swoops back and forth, callouses tickling my inner thigh, so close to my core I can feel him brushing my underwear. My stomach coils with need and I know Rhys can smell my arousal, thick and desperate and strong in the air.
His nose flares, and I feel his power rumbling from him as if the mere smell of me was enough to have him trembling.
Another brush of his thumb, so close yet so far and my back bows, my core clenching around nothing, the pain in my leg gone now, overwhelmed by the wetness that seems to grow and grow between my thighs.
“Rhys,” I gasped, almost whining as my chest rose and fell like tidal waves, and he glanced at me with eyes like melted chocolate and raised one dark brow in a challenge, “Stop being such a tease.”
“Or what?” He crooned mockingly, I gasped when his thumb inched forward, barely grazing over the front of my damp panties, the pressure so hollow that it was there and gone in seconds. “You’ll find someone else to take care of you?”
I tugged my shirt higher up my stomach, satisfaction filling me when Rhysand’s smirk fell, and like a hunter with prey his eyes narrowed down on my exposed underwear, the black lace barely covering my pulsing cunt.
“So? Should I call Cassian in?” I managed to grit out, enough arrogance in my tone to hide the lust clouding my voice and Rhysand went still, “Or are you going to- oh-“
It was stupid, to taunt the High Lord of the Night Court so brazenly- but I was so fucking glad that I had.
Because one second his thumb was taunting the edge of my underwear and then the next, he had hooked it under the material- and ripped it off.
“This what you want, huh?” Rhysand muses hotly, fingers slipping past my wet folds almost angrily, and I moaned as his callouses rubbed harshly at my clit. “Goading me into touching your cunt, using another male to piss me off?”
“Rhys,” I whimpered, back arching as he circled the pad of his thumb in brash circles, pressing down hard enough that I could feel every single callous, centuries of battle training, deliciously scraping me. “Don’t stop-“
Rhys groaned low in his throat, and I could feel his attention washing over me like waves, pure male satisfaction on his face when he turned his hand, stuffing two fingers into me without warning.
“Fuck, fuck, Rhys-“
“You should see how tight you’re wrapped around me right now, darling,” He growled low, and I could feel my walls suffocating his fingers as he fucked them in and out of me, not even my slopping wetness enough to ease how I clamped around him. “You think you can take another?”
Another finger prods at my entrance and all I can do is lock my ankle around Rhysand’s back, sinking myself further down his fingers as a third digit joins- and the burn, it hurts so fucking good.
Rhys leans forward and my shaking hand finds purchase on his shoulder, curling around the flexing muscles, feeling every stroke of his fingers in and out, getting faster and harder now. I can’t stop the sounds that tear from me, my eyes clamping shut as his fingers stretch me, brushing my walls in a way that makes it impossible to breathe.
“Rhys, I’m close, so close-“ I gasp, and that confession seems to be like a personal challenge for Rhys, edging him on as he curls those fingers deep inside of me, toying his thumb against my clit with every rough jolt.
“Open your eyes, Y/N,” Rhys commanded, voice like midnight- his High Lord's voice and I had no choice but to rip my eyes open, to meet his burning, wild gaze, loving and hating the pleased grin he gave me. “Wanna watch your pretty eyes roll while you come around my fingers.”
I was shaking now, sweat coating my forehead and it took everything in me to not flutter my eyes closed, took everything in me to stare into his violet gaze and let his hand fuck brutally inside me- let him watch me.
He loved watching me, I saw it in his eyes, in his smile, felt it in how easily he clued onto how my body reacted- knowing how hard to press his thumb against my clit to make my back arch, knowing what angle to hook his fingers inside me to make me cry his name.
And as he shoved his thick fingers in until his knuckles inside me and hooked them up, he got his wish, got to see as that chord within me splintered to pieces and my eyes rolled back as I came.
“Rhys I’m-“ I cry out, black dots blurring my vision and my body writhing against his hand, trying to pull away as he still moved those fingers inside me, but he clamped down another hand on my stomach, fingers holding my flesh possessively to keep me in place.
“C’mon darling,” Rhysand cooed, his voice almost cruel, almost patronising as he fucked me through my orgasm, my walls clenching around his fingers again and again, my orgasm spreading through my thighs and stomach and hips like glass. “I’ve got you, your High Lord’s right here.”
I whimpered at the humour in his dark tone, my legs closing around Rhysand’s hand- a mixture of overstimulation from his touch and the filthy words he poured like honey into my ear.
“Too much, too much I can’t-“
He chuckled, like the prick that he is, but mercifully, his fingers stopped, hand halting inside me and I instantly sagged with relief.
I could feel Rhysand’s power thrumming around us, frantic and powerful as if blazing brighter at my climax, at seeing me fall apart. I winced as he slipped his fingers out from me, and he seemed to melt back into being unbearably sweet as he languished his hand along my thigh, waiting for me to catch my breath.
I blinked my eyes open, fighting the exhaustion that ran through me, rooted deep inside me and smiled at the sea of violet and stars that stared back at me.
“I don’t think that was the kind of care Madja meant, Rhys,” I breathe, my voice trembling as tendrils of my climax faded away and the grin that stretched across his face, it was fucking beautiful.
“Well technically I did change your bandage,” He cocked his head, eyes gleaming and only then did I notice the sheet of stars and moonlight wrapped around my thighs, a blanket of Rhysand’s power, iridescent as the night sky outside over my wound- protecting and healing.
“Thank you,” I giggled quietly, pleasantly amazed and the air in the room felt so light as our gazes met, his hand still caressing sweetly against my thigh. He must sense the words on the tip of my tongue because he inches closer, face bright with understanding.
“Rhys, what we-“
“Y/N!”
A tall figure bursts through my room door and I only see flashes of long blonde hair and two sets of wings before Rhysand shifts in front of me, his large body shielding my bareness and his face is beyond frustrated as he tugs down my top, until the material is scraping my mid-thigh.
“Are you okay?” Mor comes rushing in, oblivious to what she just walked in on, and I cringe as Rhysand purses his lips and shuffles back to give the female space as she practically launches at my side. “I heard what happened-“
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” I chuckle uncomfortably, seeing the worry in her brown eyes and I smile when she wraps her arms around me, hugging me suffocatingly tight. “Mor, honestly I’m fine.”
“Rhysand’s been taking care of her,” Azriel muses quietly and I shoot him a scathing glare over Mor’s shoulder, seeing his lip tilt at the corner. Rhys rolls his eyes, but I can see the satisfaction in his eyes, that they knew.
Knew that he was the one that made me feel as good as I did.
And something akin to wildfire burns through my blood when I slide my gaze down his body, to the hard, long imprint of his cock straining against his slacks. I swallow at the sight; my mouth watering and I feel a brush of claws tease against my mind.
As if to say- later.
“I’m glad you’re alright,” Mor sighed, before plopping down on the chair by my bed. Rhysand sighed- a truly irate and defeated sound like he couldn’t believe our family had just walked in on us like he was getting very tired of all the interruptions. “When Cassian called me, I came as soon as I could.”
“Thank you, Mor,” I smile, glancing at her to my side and my body tingles when Rhys pulls the comforter over my body, fingers brushing my breasts as he does so.
I don’t miss the smile he tries to hide.
“Speaking of me,” Cassian steps forward, an absolutely delighted grin stretching his face, eyes flashing knowingly between me and Rhys and my brows furrow when Rhysand’s face darkens like he wants to lunge at the male.
“Did I hear Y/N mention my name earlier?”
_______________________________
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"Defying the Default"- Skin Tones and the Presence of Black Characters
Okay, this one is going to be half lesson and half a thought experiment- it may get a bit frustrating, as conversations like this often do- but remember, discomfort is not always a bad thing! So I ask that you walk with me for this one.
It’s also interesting, because I’m going to direct this towards everyone (readers included!), but specifically towards my fanfic writers of media with no visual medium, as I’ve noticed this pattern there, and it makes up a good amount of creators on this site. Okay? Okay.
Behold! Many shades of brown!
I had to wade through a lot of colorism for this, and even this link is subtly racist in its introduction- the idea that brown is ‘unexciting’ 🙄.
Anyway, you know where I’m going with this:
"Chocolate and Coffee"
Even the link above pulled this! Writers who use this... they’re not ‘wrong’ per se but… often uninspired. It feels... Lazy. When you can tell an author has put no thought into the brown of choice, it makes Black readers feel like you believe these are the only shades of brown- that that’s all we look like. Even chocolate is more diverse (white, milk, dark, marbled, cookies and cream?) Coffee can come in numerous shades as well (light, medium, dark roast? Type of bean?)
My first direction to help with this: make it a point to know what shade that character is (whether canonically, or if you're the original creator, look at a reference and write it down) and find a name! Be consistent! Find similar browns to one another. If the canon Black character's skin color is done poorly, find something similar and use that! (I'll get more into this in the next lesson!)
Our skin colors may modify as we age, it changes over the seasons/presence in the sun, and some people even have vitiligo! But we're not gonna be “dark roast coffee” one morning and “light milk chocolate” suddenly. We're not chameleons lmao.
And you know what? That shade you choose might very well be 'coffee'! But it's not going to be because you didn't look and assumed we're all some random brown! That’s the intent showing! If we can find endless ways to describe the beauty of white/pale skin, we absolutely can for brown! Be willing to unpack why you may not believe brown to be capable of beauty, and work through unlearning that- it will show in your writing! One way is by pausing with yourself, and recognizing when you had a biased thought. Even by this, you’re learning!
Here’s where I want us to get into the thought experiment:
I want you to think about the description of characters in stories (as a whole). Challenge yourself- in the fics and stories you read, how often is anyone blatantly labeled 'White'? Read a story or fic; how long can you imagine them as not-White before it's ever clarified? Because not even 'pale' automatically implies a White person!
You know how I’ve mentioned before that 'Black people are not a monolith'? I can find you at least some examples of Black people fitting some of the common descriptions of white characters.
"Brunette with brown eyes"
(Fun fact: I actually learned back in my Masters program that genetically no one has ‘black’ hair- our eyes are processing it as black, but it’s really just dark brown due to eumelanin. Regardless, if you stand us in the direct sunlight, you will see that our hair is usually just dark brown!)
"Red hair with pale skin"
“‘tanned’ skin with hazel/green eyes”
“blond hair" (period!)
Now, I’m not saying that blond haired Black people or Black folk with albinism are overly representative of my people. What I AM saying is that it needs to not be taken for granted that a reader is automatically assuming a character is White in your piece of fiction- I can assume your character looks like anything if it's not stated! Especially if the OG source is a book or a podcast! We’re just used to assigning these features- and characters- as white until ‘proven not’! The default!
I am guilty of this too! Even still, I reread many of my works and go ‘ah, I didn’t clarify.’ And I have to work on doing better at it. This is having intent for your Black characters, but really, it’s having intent for all of them!
(This doesn't mean going “the Black man said,” the way sometimes people say “the Chinese said” (which…. Tbh we should all stop doing that anyway, it's weird and racist))
My Next Challenge:
Some people may disagree, but- Ahem:
Say BLACK!
Breathe lmao! Take the time to recognize that it's OKAY to introduce a character as Black, to say Black, it's fine! Obviously be sensitive about it, don't shove it in there to “win your diversity points”, but like… People are Black. It's not a bad word. What matters is the context in which you used it!
You don't even have to say it every single time. Really just the first, introductory sentence will do. For example:
“[Character A], a bright, young, Black girl with knotless braids to her mid back, glittering hair clips matching her bright green t-shirt, and a brilliant smile that shined against her bistre skin.”
I recognize that some might argue that by saying “bistre”, you don't need to say Black. But 1) you don't have to be Black to be brown or dark skinned, and 2) There's a social stigma behind even saying Black- of discussing race in general, because it leads to discomfort. Race (as a sociological construct) exists. When we say nothing about it, allowing Whiteness to be the default, we're still emphasizing race, however silently! If you're already doing it... Why not mention it? 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
(here's a good clip of Ijeoma Oluo discussing the difficulty of discussing race; while I highly recommend the whole thing, the relevant clip is 4:25-5:39)
Maybe they're in the Black student organization in a lead position, maybe they're in a Black main cast of a play- it's okay to have those things in the story to help develop the idea that your Black character is actively Black! Just do your research to make sure you’re not leaning into stereotypes!
“There’s no races in my fantasy/future world!”
That’s fair! But I want to give you an example of how people will still project these identities onto your characters anyway:
No one has an explicitly stated 'race' in Avatar: The Last Airbender (afaik); they’re all divided by element culture. YET, many people were offended that a mixed-Korean actress was cast in her role in the live action- they ‘just didn’t see it’, because subconsciously they'd imagined her ‘face claims’ as WHITE, despite it never once being mentioned in the canon! (there’s also a firm sexualization and east Asian fetishization argument to be made about it, but that’s not within the scope of this particular conversation.)
Point is, if you are including humanoid characters in your fantasy stories, fine. You don't need to say ‘Black’ outright. But, that just means that you’re going to have to be even more detailed in your description. Because if I were watching a TV show and a Black actor shows up as an elf… I know what features I’m seeing! Entire protests have occurred over the casting of Black actors in a role ‘meant for a white person’; so... everyone sees it!
Conclusion
This is another reason why intention in character design and writing is important! Context clues and socialization help me understand who your character is. If it works like this for white characters, it can work like that for everyone else! You just have to know enough about me to write it in (and that's where the social and societal bias lie, because how much do you really know about me?)
A way to better understand this is reading books by Black authors (for fantasy, I would highly recommend Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko and Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi) as well as Black literary classics! Finding and reading Black fic authors in fandoms with Black characters! By learning how we describe ourselves and our skin colors, you’ll learn and practice how to appropriately describe us!
Now I can't make you do any of this! But I do want you all- writers especially- to start noticing our bias, how we may default to the experience of whiteness- and how that affects the way we write. When we have Black characters, and really any character of color, we need to start paying attention to how often their features, culture, and activities are emphasized, even for what we may consider to be 'background' details. That’s how we normalize creation and understanding, and become better at writing!
It’s just something to practice; remember, it’s the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!
In addition, if you are interested in a simple read into why approaching race is so uncomfortable as a whole, I've attached Robin DiAngelo's book here! Thank you to the PDF guru @toiletpotato for the link!
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A Shaky Arrangement [Part Three]
story summary: Your best friend lets you crash at her place over the spring break since you have nowhere else to go. Little did you know that it isn't actually her place. Instead, it belongs to a tall (grumpy) hot guy who finds you in his apartment–her brother.
chapter summary: You've nowhere else to go, surely he wouldn't kick you out so easily? You are so very attractive after all...
pairings: Nanami Kento x female reader
warnings: sibling bickering, mentions of food, SFW
Part Two | Series Masterlist | Part Four
Kento scowled.
He sat stiffly on the leather couch that occupied most of the living room space, watching as you took container after container out of a brown paper bag with a grease stain pooling at the bottom. The desire to march to the kitchen and find the surface spray and kitchen towel to wipe up any damage to his coffee table was rampant. But he didn’t. He sat still with a growing grimace.
“You think you could stop scowling at me?” you said from your spot on the floor, sitting cross-legged with your back to him. “I can feel your distaste crawling up my spine.”
“I am not scowling,” he lied mulishly.
“Yes, you are, but whatever. I did ask if you wanted to add anything to the order. You were the one to turn your nose up at Chinese takeout. I guess you’re used to the finer things in life, Mr Nanami.”
His mouth opened to respond, but he snapped it shut just as quickly. He would not get into a petty argument over his preference of cuisine. The sinking feeling of resignation reared its head once more. Could he honestly share his apartment with you for the next two weeks without you both at each other’s throats?
“Remind me again why am I even considering hosting you?” He half hissed, pinching the bridge of his nose, and sat forward in his seat until his elbows were braced upon his knees.
You paused. The chopsticks you were using to pile rice onto an expensive-looking plate froze in midair. At last, you twisted your neck to look around, adopting a sheepish expression.
He was right, as annoying as that fact might be.
This was his home, and he had every right to send you on your merry way, whether you had somewhere to stay or not–the latter being the case. You were sharply reminded of his stricken features when you explained your plight. How he had grabbed up the glass which you had just finished draining of whatever potent amber liquor he preferred and went looking for a refill. A large one. A large one which he swallowed in one long gulp.
Kento had the same eyes as his sister, Karin. They were rich hazel, and they had the strange ability to lighten or darken depending on their mood. They crackled like popping logs in a roaring hearth when joyful or amused and darkened to the deepest mahogany when angered or upset. This you noticed as he questioned you over and over, his fingers running ruefully through his hair and those eyes that followed your every nervous jerk or twitch became pits of darkness.
“Sorry,” you said quietly. “Are you sure I can’t tempt you into sharing something with me? I ordered way too much, there will be leftovers for days if you don’t.” It was your version of a peace offering. Anything to prevent him from backtracking on the shaky agreement you had reached.
Kento’s nose wrinkled in distaste at the thought of leftovers crowding his fridge and the smells that might permeate into the fresh produce or homemade meals that were labelled and waiting to be eaten.
With a long sigh, he lowered himself to the floor and sat by your left elbow. “Fine. It is probably wise for me to put something other than alcohol in my stomach anyway. Serve yourself what you want and I’ll have what is left.”
“Aye, captain!”
“Don’t do that,” he scolded, rolling his eyes at your salute, but there was no heat in the words. If anything, he was amused and you smiled knowingly to yourself as you began to dig into the meal.
He must be truly mad to be entertaining this prospect, but there was something he liked about you, even if he tried his best to deny it. You pushed back against him. It was refreshing. Kento enjoyed your quick wit and the ease with which you conversed with him. Sure, it was often at his expense but it was enjoyable in a way it never had been before.
As the youngest ever senior partner at work, he commanded respect from all. The junior partners and even those on the governing board often bowed their heads in reverence when in his presence. Yet it wasn’t so long ago that he had been a fresh-faced college graduate eager to reach his current lofty heights and he wondered absently if you possessed the same drive and determination. You certainly weren’t easily intimidated.
“Do you have a girlfriend, Mr Nanami?”
So lost in thought, Kento almost missed your question. It took him a moment to process and when it finally hit home, he nearly choked on his bite of peking duck.
“Excuse me?” he spluttered, banging a fist on his chest to clear the blockage in his throat.
Your cheeks warmed in amusement, impishly shrugging whilst you toyed with the remnants on your plate. It had been on your mind for a little while now. Your host was handsome—a thought you kept coming back to no matter how hard you tried to ignore it.
“I said, do you have a girlfriend?” you repeated.
“I don’t see what business that is of yours.”
He busied himself with rolling back the sleeves of his pristine white button up. Your lips quirked before you blew out a puff of air.
“Come on. It’s a simple question, no? Since you’ve agreed to give me a place to stay, surely I should know if I might run into someone else whilst I’m here.”
You had a point, and that bugged him. He was about to answer when you went on, nudging your elbow into his side and he caught a whiff of his body wash on your skin.
“Boyfriend then?” You baited him, though there would be no shame in it if he were more inclined towards his own sex. Other than perhaps the briefest disappointment. No! Shut that down now, you thought to yourself.
“Neither. If you must know.” He levelled an unimpressed stare in your direction and wiped his hands on a napkin.
How annoying the flare of hope that illuminated in your chest upon hearing his answer was. It had no place here, and you did your best to flatten your features into neutrality. You failed.
“I do, however, have a cleaner that visits each morning for a few hours to keep the place how I like it. I will alert Mrs McGarden that I have a guest so that she doesn’t enter your room without consent.” He nodded his head as if that was the end of the matter, trying and failing not to notice how you chewed your lip as if you were deep in thought. Cute.
“Speaking of rooms…” you trailed off as the first wave of tiredness hit you square in the face. It was early by your standards but the day had been filled with ups and downs like nothing you’d experienced before. “Where will I be sleeping?”
It was an innocent enough question, or you had meant it that way, but the lull that Kento left hanging over you both felt thick with something tangible but unknown. Right now your suitcase was still spread open wide on what you now knew to be his bed and you surely wouldn’t be sleeping there.
Before he could answer, his phone rang from the kitchen island, shrill and loud. “Excuse me a moment,” he said, hurriedly moving for the device and slipping down the hallway until he was out of sight.
“I can explain! Don’t yell.” The familiar voice said the second the phone was to his ear. Karin had finally braved his wrath and called back.
“I’ll give you two minutes.”
“Kento! I am not one of your underlings. Not that it matters, shut up. What was I saying?” Karin hissed through the phone and even without seeing her he knew that she was pushing hair out of her face as she always did when she was flustered or annoyed.
He sighed and silently counted to three. “Two. Minutes. Explain.”
“You’re meant to be out of the country, why aren’t you? I didn’t think you’d ever find out,” she hurried on, not waiting for an answer. Kento had long since known when not to interrupt his sister in full flow. “Mrs McGarden assured me that she would keep silent and I was only trying to help out a friend. She tried to refuse my offer. Said she’d find a couch or two to sleep on instead, can you imagine? You haven’t… kicked her out, have you?”
“I was firmly coerced into taking a vacation instead of attending the conference hence my presence. It seems I need to have words with Mrs McGarden as to where her loyalties lie, and no, I have not kicked your friend out,” he answered the questions in the order they were given, turning on the spot in his bedroom. “Though I have been sorely tempted,” he lied.
Karin audibly harrumphed. “Don’t lie, Kento, it’s not a good trait.”
“Who says I’m lying?”
“Oh, whatever. I don’t have time for your little temper tantrum. Y’know… I think she might be a good influence on you, relax you a little. You’re on vacation so maybe spend some time with your guest? She is very dear to me and I’ve got a lot of explaining to do since I never mentioned you to her.”
Kento could hear the genuine worry in her voice and it cooled some of the fires of his anger. His shoulders slumped and half-heartedly he agreed, even if he didn’t have any intention to do as Karin suggested. He would keep to himself and hope that you did the same.
He returned to the living room but found it empty. Glancing to the side he found you in the kitchen washing up the plates and humming. For a moment he simply stood and watched. Considering he had only just met you, he didn’t mind seeing you in his space and the words of his sister echoed in his mind.
“You didn’t need to do that,” he stated, finally making his presence known once more.
Smiling, you shrugged him off. “It was the least I could do, don’t worry about it.”
“Uh, Karin sends her apologies for the mixup. She assures me that she will make it up to you and explain everything when you see her next. Shall we pick a room for you now?”
Your chin jutted out, a wrinkle forming between your eyebrows at the mention of his sister. Kento could tell that Karin was going to be in for hell, and rightly so, when you reunited.
“Yes please, I’m pretty tired after… well, you know,” you stammered with an awkward laugh.
He did indeed know, though he would rather forget. Instead, he held out his arm for you to step ahead of him and followed you discreetly towards the two bedrooms that you could choose from.
The first was on the right and nearest to the living space, this was the room that Karin occupied when she visited and her mark was firmly stamped upon the interior. Kento watched from just outside the doorway as you tried and failed not to wince at the baby blue walls and the mountains of overstuffed pillows piled atop a cream bedspread with lace and frills.
In the corner stood her old dollhouse, untouched and in pristine condition thanks to a certain cleaner with whom he still needed to have several words with. You froze before it, curiosity lighting in your eyes and slowly you bent to inspect through the windows where the tiny families resided.
Before he could speak, you whirled around and brushed past with a soft apology for coming so close to him. Again, he could smell his body wash on you and he liked it even more this time.
“I don’t think this room will do,” you mused with downcast eyes.
“Not fond of dolls?” he guessed in what was more meant to be a joke but your guilty expression told him he had hit the nail on the head.
“There is another room, but… it’s next to my own. I hope you won’t mind?” Kento stalked forward and tilted his head in the direction of the room next to his.
You trotted after him and away from the prying eyes of the dolls in their fancy house, vowing silently not to enter that room again. You reached for him, anxious fingers clinging to the shirt encasing his bicep and tugging like a frightened child might do. It was his turn to freeze, his stare fixed on where you held him until he found your eyes and questioned the gesture without a word.
“You won’t tell her, will you? I just…” You shook your head and feigned a smile, you were being silly after all. “Nightmares as a child, that’s all.”
“My lips are sealed.” He smiled kindly until your hand fell away. “Now, come inside and see if this will do.”
He didn’t know what he’d do if it wasn’t, although he didn’t expect you were an overly demanding house guest even with the little he knew about you. He wasn’t above giving you his bed if it were necessary but it would be a last resort.
This room was decorated in soft pastel shades that were far less bright than the blue of Karin’s. The bed was turned down with what appeared to be an identical grey duvet to the one in the master bedroom.
There was a small vanity set opposite the window and a writing desk in the far corner. Everything was neutral in here, wiped clean as if it had never been occupied and it made you feel safe and warm.
“It’s perfect.”
Sitting on the corner of the bed, you glanced at Kento who stood respectfully in the door. He wasn’t looking at you, instead his eyes were wandering as if he were checking everything was clean enough. His frame filled the doorway, shoulders broad and imposing. Except you didn’t find him imposing, and that was the problem.
He must be at least five years older than you, not that you cared, you were a young woman not a teenager. You were reminded of how long you had gone without a boyfriend or even a lover. One night stands and casual situationships were never your thing so it had been some time since you had last felt an attraction like you did now.
This whole day felt like a fever dream.
You needed to rein in your train of thoughts but it was hard when Kento took a step deeper inside and the air seemed suddenly thick like syrup. His hands were deep in his pockets and finally he blew out a breath, making it easier for you to breathe too.
“If you’re sure. I’ll go grab your suitcase and bag for you,” he offered quietly.
It had to be your imagination but it seemed like he was struggling as much as you were. Although likely for a different reason. You were an unexpected guest and he very much seemed the type of person who was set in routine. You nodded your thanks and let him slip away.
“He is your best friend’s brother, get your act together woman! Stop lusting over him,” you scolded yourself in a hushed whisper.
It was going to be a long two weeks, that was for sure.
#delirious writes#nanami x reader#nanami kento#nanami kento x reader#nanami fluff#jjk x reader#jjk fluff
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