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#the good and bad things that happen to people when they're no longer constantly in survival mode

inkskinned · 1 year

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you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

#spilled ink #woke up at 530 to write this lmafo #me in a cold sweat:#how do i be normal #edit in the tags:#hey so i've seen y'all talk about like ... wondering if ur ''allowed'' to relate #like if this is about X specific diagnosis #and when i first posted it i really almost labelled it ''please don't assume this is about a specific condition''#because as an artist i am often walking this line of discussing a symptom or discussing my conditions etc #and sometimes yes ! i do want to talk about an experience that is specific to who i am and my condition #but sometimes the effort of the post is about the EXPERIENCE rather than the diagnosis #because yes i am not neurotypical and as a result that influences my work but it is ALSO true that there are many reasons #why someone might experience this particular vague horrible feeling that you are... almost being CHASED by what you ''really'' are.#that you're outrunning your symptoms... that you're not really normal you're just sort of a mockery of a person #.... that's a really isolating and horrible way to feel no matter why you are feeling it. and the nature of this PARTICULAR post is that #it is inherently talking ABOUT that sense of isolation & of feeling not-deserving & of minimizing your own experiences to make urself #palatable for society in a way that others find easy-to-deal-with....#this post is about a certain experience such that my impression is there's a higher likelihood that those who relate #would have more difficulty thinking they ''deserve'' to relate - that it doesn't REALLY belong to them #bc often we are the kind of people who are SO used to being alienated and set aside and ''different'' that we AUTOMATICALLY assume #that things are not ''for'' us... they never have been why would it start now #we are the kinds of people to be ... ''too normal for X diagnosis but too symptomatic to be normal''#[or as this post points out... so good at ''coping''/masking/hiding it that we essentially conform to whatever shape we're poured into]#but i have witnessed others already say in the tags ''thought this was about me but it's about X so it can't be''#and im like ... of course it was about you.#art is not a resource that is diminished by greater appreciation .#you reflect in whatever mirror fits your frame. not just the ones in your bedroom. not just the ones i specifically give you.#there will be - and often are - times that i will talk about my specific conditions... but if you're reading this #regardless of why you're here... we are here together. holding hands through space and time. and i love you for carrying it #and i know you're exhausted. i am too. but i understand. and i see you.

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narryffdreaming · 1 month

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A TOAST TO THE FUTURE — TWO

Summary: Aurora and Harry used to be friends, but life happened and they grew apart. Now, 6 years later, they meet again.

Rating: +18

WARNINGS: The story contains explicit language and mentions a past abusive relationship (mostly the consequences of psychological/emotional abuse). Some chapters also contain explicit sexual content.

PART TWO: 14,9k words Please read: Part two explores a lot of Aurora's irrational thoughts and it shows how much she struggles to be herself after being married to someone who was emotionally abusive to her. From my perspective, it's a really important chapter to develop the relationship between Aurora and Harry, but I want people to be mindful of its content in case they don't feel comfortable reading about this, or in case it hits too close to them. Feel free to reach out if you want to skip something and you'd like me to fill you in. <3

PART ONE

Despite the line, getting through security would've taken Aurora hardly three minutes. That is, of course, if she hadn't had to wait for Harry for another ten.

He doesn't look the least apologetic for the held back, though. Nor bothered in the slightest by the extra time he seemingly needed. Smiling at her and holding their shared tray as he tilts his chin to an empty table and leads the way towards it.

Aurora follows him quietly, checking her watch just to make sure they won't run out of time. And she does it unconsciously, regretting every time she catches herself looking at her wrist. Because she knows they're early. She swears she knows. And she wishes she could relax and just enjoy things without that awful feeling rushing through her body. That feeling that turns into a voice and yells at her that she's constantly behind.

Behind what, one could ask, and Aurora wouldn't be able to answer.

She's just… Behind.

Behind, and watching her life go by.

All the damn time.

Harry stops by the table, and Aurora mimics him. She drops her bag and falls on one knee, pulling up the hem of her dress and uncovering her foot. The Nike sneakers she's wearing used to be white once, but now they are just old and dirty, and she loves them even more like this. She nibbles the flesh inside of her bottom lip while tying the shoelaces up, then changes to her other knee, and repeats the process.

Once she's done, she stands up and pats her legs, getting rid of any airport floor dirt from her clothes.

"You're fast," Harry says, putting his foot down from the edge of the table.

Aurora pulls the fabric of her dress up her chest and furrows her brows. "I am?"

"Hm, yeah." He frowns with amusement and chuckles. "You sure are."

"Huh." She wiggles her eyebrows up and down, then quirks the corner of her mouth up.

Maybe, she should point out that perhaps she isn't fast, but he is too slow. Or that, unlike him, she'd organized everything beforehand so she wouldn't waste any second longer than she absolutely needed to. But what good would that do? Besides, those thoughts don't even feel like hers. They don't sound like hers.

So she says nothing, instead, and steps closer to where he stands.

Harry gives the tray they're sharing a gentle push to her side, and puts his other foot up.

Aurora promptly slides the tray closer to her and places it in front of her belly, next to her bag.

Great.

Saying nothing was a bad idea, because silence is awkward now.

She licks her lips and keeps her attention on their belongings, not knowing exactly what to say.

Time goes by, though, and the longer she waits, the more awkward it gets.

So she decides to just say whatever, just to get them talking again.

"Perks of being a mom, I guess." She blurts out, then grabs their passports and shrugs. "Being fast, I mean."

Harry leans on his bent knee and looks at her over his shoulder, blindly tying up his own shoes.

"Yeah? Why's that? You get any super speed powers when you're pregnant or something?"

Aurora freezes for a second, passports still in hand. She turns her head to the side, and narrows her eyes at him.

Harry's soft lips are pursed, his green eyes are twinkling with playfulness, and his cheeks are tinted with a boyish flush under his facial hair. He's clearly having fun with his own silly comment, and it causes Aurora to break into a short laugh — not because it's funny, but because she simply can't help it.

She shakes her head, and looks back at the tray.

"I rush to get ready so I can pay attention to Noah, okay?" she explains, grabbing the boarding passes and checking the names on them. She puts hers inside of her passport, and the other inside of Harry's. "It's not a big deal."

She'd never thought about it, but it's the truth — she is usually busy keeping an eye on Noah, even from a distance. The little monster can't stay still for too long, and no matter how much she adores how energetic he is or that she tries her best to let him explore things by himself, the truth is that he's still only four, and she can't leave him wandering around unattended.

Which is why she fought so hard to sign him up for preschool — it gave her time to slow down and do other things, too.

Okay. See? That — that right there — is Aurora's truth. That's a thought that feels and sounds like hers. A thought that she came up with on her own, based on her own experiences and her own mistakes. A thought that reveals how she's learned that taking care of Noah is her responsibility, and that if she doesn't pay attention to her son, nobody does.

No matter how much she dreamed it would be different.

No matter how much she believed it should be different.

"Ohhh," Harry says. "Ok, then."

She sticks her passport and boarding pass into the front pocket of her bag, maybe a little bit more forcefully than she needs to.

"Exactly. So don't judge me."

"What?!" Harry laughs, putting his foot down from the table. "I wasn't—"

"I can't leave my son unattended, can I?"

"I—I know, yeah." His face falls, and he nods. "I get it. That's… It makes sense. Yes."

"Right. Great."

A second goes by, and then another one, and another one.

Silence settles again, but this time Aurora isn't worried about it being awkward or not.

There's just… So much going on.

Her heart is thumping loudly inside her chest, and her ears are buzzing.

She shouldn't have snapped at him.

It wasn't about him.

It wasn't his fault.

She pinches the tip of her nose and breathes in. Slowly, and steadily.

One more time.

Slowly.

And steadily.

And then, she moves again.

She holds Harry's things in her hand and leans on the table, reaching for his bag. Before she touches it, she looks at him over her shoulder and asks, "Do you mind if I open your bag?"

Harry doesn't answer, though. He's tilting his chin down and shaking his leg, making sure his pants are properly covering his ankles.

Aurora purses her lips and straightens her back, then slides his bag across the table and pulls it closer to her body.

Now everything's in front of her, the tray caged in between both duffel bags.

She bites her bottom lip, but it's hard to stop her mouth from turning into a smile.

Maybe the speed in which she moves isn't an inconvenience, after all. In fact, maybe it even comes in handy, because apparently if she doesn't move for both of them, someone will sooner or later shove them away.

"Harry," she insists.

"Hm?" He looks up. A frown crinkles his face — his eyebrows are pulled together, his forehead is puckered, and his lips are curled downwards. As soon as he meets her eyes, though, his shoulders drop, and he shakes his head. "Sorry."

He scratches his jaw, dragging his nails over his stubble.

Aurora stretches her arm, and pats her hand on the edge of the table, where his feet were a minute ago. "It's fine. I was just asking if it's okay to put your passport inside your bag."

"Oh! Yeah yeah, sure. Go ahead. Thanks."

"'Kay," she says, already unzipping the front pocket and putting things away.

Aurora rolls her shoulders at the same time Harry moves closer, and she unthinkingly snatches his belt from the tray and hands it to him.

"Here."

"Oh," he murmurs, grabbing it from her fingers. "Thanks."

He steps away, but there's something in his voice that somehow catches her attention, and Aurora turns her head.

She glances over her shoulder, and peeks at his face.

Harry is looking down again, chin pressed against his chest while he takes the end of his belt and puts it into the first front loop of his beige pants. His movements are casual, but he's holding back a smile, and Aurora can tell his mind is working on something.

Something silly, to be more specific.

She curls her mouth up, then raises her left eyebrow. "What?"

Harry tugs his belt, threading it through the second loop.

"What?" he repeats, and his mouth finally turns into a grin.

She turns her body towards him, then places one hand on her waist and the other spread open on the table, holding up her weight. "C'mon, out with it."

Harry laughs, slightly bending his knees and throwing his head back. "I didn't even say a word!"

"Well, you didn't have to!" She rolls her eyes and chuckles, backing away from the table to put both hands on her hips. "I can see you're thinking something."

He shakes his head, looking down and threading his belt through the next loop.

"Harry…"

He peeks at her through the corner of his eyes, then focuses back on his belt.

"You're aware you can leave me unattended, right?" he asks, keeping a bright smile on his face and the light tone on his voice.

"What?"

"I mean I don't mind." He shrugs, eyes still on his current task. "Gotta admit it's kinda cute to see you like this."

"I don't—"

"My favorite part was probably when you cleaned up the table."

"I—" Aurora closes her mouth, and exhales through her nose. "You put your feet there, Harry."

"I did, yeah. And you cleaned it up."

"Well, someone has to clean up your mess, don't you think?"

Harry glances at her, and smirks as mischievous and suggestive as he can be. "Oh, I always clean up my mess, love, don't worry about it."

He winks, and Aurora gasps.

"Oh my God!"

She turns to face the table, feelings her cheeks getting warm.

Harry laughs, though, so she steps closer to his side and nudges him with her elbow.

"Shut up."

"'Kay mum."

"Ughhh." She rolls her eyes, then shuts them tightly and takes a deep breath in. "You're so annoying."

Harry's laughter only grows louder, and Aurora shakes her head, blinking her eyes open again.

It only takes him a moment to calm down, but the smile is still obvious in his voice when he speaks again.

"I know. I'm just teasing you, tho. I'll stop now. I promise."

Aurora snorts. "Yeah, right."

She believes his words as much as she believes Noah when he promises he will eat his entire dinner if he gets to eat dessert first.

The thought brings a smile to her face, and she bites her lip to hold it back.

Peeking inside the tray one more time, she finds several rings, a bracelet, a watch, and three necklaces. Her mouth twitches, and her chest trembles with amusement — no wonder why Harry took so much longer than her to get through security.

She pulls the string of her necklace from the tray, takes each side to the back of her neck and quickly clasps it back to its everyday place. Next, she grabs her watch, and puts it on just as fast around her wrist.

"Well," she starts, then looks at him.

Harry is, once again, deeply focused on his task — his chin touches his chest, his eyebrows are pulled together, and he's biting his bottom lip.

"All yours now," she adds.

Harry peeps at her through the corner of his eyes, his hands still attached to his belt as he finally reaches the last loop. He darts his vision to the tray, then back at her, scanning her chest, her wrist, and her hands. "You sure? All of it?"

"Mhmm."

A group of people walks to their table, and Aurora takes a step aside to give them more room.

"Ok." He buckles his belt, then fixes his shirt. "We can go, then."

"Oh. I didn't mean to rush you."

He smiles, putting one hand inside the tray and carelessly collecting everything that's left inside.

"You didn't." He closes his hand into a fist, then shoves everything inside of his pocket. "It's just getting crowded here. C'mon."

"Hey, was my joke inappropriate?"

Past security and turning right, the hallway is significantly less hectic than any other area Aurora has walked through in the last hour or so.

It is probably one of the brightest, too.

"Hm?" she asks, tilting her head to give Harry her full attention. "Sorry, what joke?"

"About… Y'know, cleaning up my mess."

"Ohhh." Aurora laughs, then waves him off. "Please, it's nothing any of you guys haven't joked about before."

"I know, but… Things are different now, aren't they? Don't want to make you uncomfortable, or, well, don't want to be disrespectful to your hus—"

"You're fine," she says, cutting him off before she'll be forced to either correct him or say nothing, implicitly letting him believe there's still a husband in her life. "Don't worry about it. Let's stop here so you can put your rings back on, yeah?"

She points to one side of the hallway, and walks in front of him to guide the way. It only takes her a few steps, then she places her bag by her feet and turns around.

When she looks at him, she finds him frowning.

Frowning and frozen on the spot.

"Harry, hey!" She raises one hand and wiggles her fingers. "C'mon. I'll help you."

Harry's face softens. He shakes his head, then walks towards her while putting his hand inside of his pocket.

Leaning against the white wall, Aurora watches him come to a stop right in front of her, then drop all of his jewelry on top of her spread open palm.

"Thank you," he murmurs.

She finds his sight again, and a smile blooms across her face. "Sure, no problem."

His lips curve into a smile, too, and he looks down. He shakes his head and pulls his hair back, then turns his attention back to the items on Aurora's palms. He seems meticulous about which ring goes where, fiddling with them and hunting for specific ones. Eventually, he grabs three at once, and puts them on his pinky, middle and index left fingers.

Aurora raises her chin and rests the back of her head against the wall, comfortably watching his relaxed face as he towers over her.

From what she remembers, jewelry was never Harry's thing. Long hair and skinny jeans? One hundred percent. But the necklaces, the rings, and the bracelets? Those were things she'd no idea he'd be into. Or maybe not to the point of making them part of his casual look to the airport.

"So," she teases, easing her dry lips with her tongue then forcing her voice to sound exactly like she imagines a reporter would sound like, "Harry, would you say you enjoy wearing rings?"

Harry darts his eyes to her, and the expression on his face never falters, holding a serious and unamused demeanor as he moves his lips to say, "Bloody hate them."

She presses her lips together, but then she snorts, taking her free hand to cover her mouth.

Harry shakes his head and grins, changing hands and catching two more rings to put on his right fingers.

"Why? What's wrong with my rings?"

She sighs and shrugs, calming down from her brief moment of foolish, silly laughter.

"Nothing. 'M just teasing you."

He places the last two, and pulls the two golden strings from her palm.

"Hmm…" Harry nods. He fixes his eyes on the jewelry and frowns, eying the many tiny knots that had formed along the necklaces. "Great, then. Glad you're having fun at my expense."

Aurora drops her jaw.

"You were making fun of me two minutes ago!"

Harry chuckles, although he's distracted by his attempt to untangle his necklaces. "Guess I was, huh."

He shakes his head, and Aurora steps away from the wall, getting closer to him.

"Which wrist do you wear this one?" she asks, lifting her hand and his bracelet.

"Left—I mean, right," he answers, and although they don't look at each other's faces, they both smile at the same time.

Harry remains focused on the knotted strings between his fingers, but stops moving when Aurora curls one hand around his right wrist and pulls it closer to her face. In one quick movement, she clasps the item around it, then taps his hand twice.

"All done. Now gimme that."

She snatches the necklaces from him, and observes carefully before undoing the mess. One of the golden strings is longer than hers, but they're both just as delicate, and instead of a disk, one holds a cross pendant, and the other a tiny, thin tag. She bites her lip and patiently fiddles with the pieces of jewelry, taking her time to unwrap the tiny knots.

Things are quiet. Time ticks without a hurry. And after a minute, or maybe two, or three, she grins proudly, and lifts her chin to look at him.

"Look!" she says, even though she doesn't have to — Harry's already looking at her, already watching her. "I've done it!"

He blinks a couple of times, then nods, slowly mimicking her smile and her excitement. "Y—You did, yeah! Thanks."

"You're welcome." She grabs the longest string, picking each side with one hand, and takes a step closer to him. "I find untangling necklaces weirdly therapeutic."

Harry widens his eyes. "What are you doing?!"

Aurora rolls her eyes, and chuckles. "Calm down. I'm not gonna kiss you, don't worry."

"Right. No, yeah, I know that." He chuckles, too. "Of course."

She stops moving and tilts her head, then raises her hands. "I mean, can I?"

"Wha—" Harry takes a step back. "Kiss me?!"

"Harry!" Aurora shrieks, also taking a step back and away from him. "Oh my God, no!"

She looks at him for a moment, taking in his bulged eyes and raised eyebrows. He looks mortified, and there's so much going on at once that she can't help but burst into laughter — at the misunderstanding, at the look of his face, but also at the terror in his voice.

She turns away from him, throwing her head back as laughter breaches from her chest.

"This is… I can't…"

"Sorry," Harry says, "I just—"

Aurora shakes her head, feeling warmth radiating from her chest throughout her entire body.

"Oh my… Oh my God." She places one hand on her stomach and brings the other to her face, fanning herself while taking a deep breath in through her nose. "You should've… You should've seen your face… Oh God… Harry… You panicked so hard, I just…"

She wipes a tear from under her eye, and takes another deep breath in, working to calm herself down.

"I never… I never thought the idea of kissing me could… Could be that terrifying for someone. Oh God."

Harry sighs. "Auri…"

She turns around, and looks at him with the biggest smile on her face, her body still shaking from laughing.

Harry isn't happy, though. Or at least he doesn't seem to be. He's narrowing his eyes, and furrowing his brows. His lips are pressed into a hard line, and his forehead is puckered.

And just like that, Aurora's laughter fades away.

Shit.

She's too familiar with that dynamic, so she clears her throat and shakes her head.

"I'm sorry. I—I know it wasn't funny. I just… I think I haven't laughed this hard in a really long time, so I just… I got carried away, I guess. I'm sorry. But I shouldn't—Sorry."

"Listen, I didn't—"

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

Actually, Aurora doesn't know. Of course she doesn't know. She has absolutely no idea what he was about to say, but she doesn't want to talk about it. She's been there before. And she's been there before so many times that her mind and body don't even know how to react any other way. How not to anticipate the humiliation and shame that is about to follow. How not to completely shut off.

Thankfully, Harry seems to get it, because he nods, grabbing his necklaces from her hand and putting them back inside of his pocket.

And this time, Aurora doesn't say anything about it, grabbing her bag from the floor and feeling ready to move on.

"Do you mind if we take a look around some of the shops?" Aurora asks, pointing around the World Duty Free and breaking the silence that settled between them for the past few minutes.

Harry moves slowly next to her, keeping his hands inside of his pockets. "'Course not."

"Thanks." She makes sure to curve her mouth into a smile, then stops at the first shop to take a look at the makeup.

Things are quiet, but Harry stands right behind her all the time, keeping her company while she brings a lipstick closer to her face to check the color shade, and then following her steps when she moves to a different shelf.

"Hey," Aurora says, looking over her shoulder, "what's your cologne?"

"Hm..." He scratches his jaw and shrugs. "Depends on the day, I guess."

She nods, then turns to face some nail polish, aiming for the brightest options.

It's been a while since she's done her nails. She used to love looking at her hands and seeing them colorful and filled with rings, it used to make her feel beautiful and delicate. Feminine.

Zack used to love it as well, though, and to be honest at some point she stopped doing a lot of things Zack liked. Just because.

"Which one are you wearing today, then?"

"Why?"

She shrugs. His voice is right behind her, but Aurora doesn't turn around to look at him.

"'Cause you smell really nice."

Maybe she could do her nails in Italy… Maybe one of the girls brought something with them.

Or maybe she could get something herself…

The orange shades look nice…

She sighs, and steps away from the shelf.

She can't. She shouldn't spend her money like that. She needs to be more careful now, especially since she spent a lot of unplanned money on that trip to Italy.

She turns her head, wiggling her eyebrows at him. "So…?"

Harry clears his throat. "Uh… Well… It's Guerlain."

Aurora twirls, holding her bag close to her body as her hair and dress follow her brisk movement.

"Cool! Let's find it, then."

She walks away, and Harry's low chuckle echoes behind her.

Although she can't see him, she feels his presence all the time, following her pace.

"What for?" he asks.

"I don't know." She shrugs, looking from one side to the other. Scanning all the tiny duty-free shops. "I'm bored, I'm tired… Oh! There it is!"

Her pace quickens, and so does Harry's.

Aurora only stops when she's in front of the Guerlain shelves, and then she turns around, staring at him with a smile on her face and pointing her arm to the many colognes displayed behind her.

"Which one is yours?"

He clears his throat, and—

Wait, is he blushing?

Aurora purses her lips, holding herself back from laughing.

"It's L'Homme Idéal Extrême."

"Hmmm." She wiggles her eyebrows, and pulls one corner of her mouth up in a smirk. "Sounds sexy…"

"Jesus Christ," Harry grunts, hiding his face behind both of his hands and shaking his head.

Aurora laughs at his reaction, tapping his shoulder twice before turning on her feet and looking for his cologne.

"What happened to you in the States, huh?" She leans down, squinting to read the names. "Never thought I would see Harry Styles getting all shy in front of me."

It takes him a moment to answer, but eventually he mumbles, "I've always been shy in front of you."

Aurora pauses for a moment, replaying his words in her mind. Images of them hanging out together pop up immediately — at the pub, at someone's apartment, after class, over the weekend. His cheeky glances, touchy hands and bold comments are always present, one way or another. He always craved attention, and people had no problem granting his wishes.

It never bothered her, because he was young and had just joined university, but it certainly didn't paint him as a shy and reserved person.

A snort leaves her mouth. "Yeah, right."

She stands, and puts her hands on her waist. "What was the sexy name again?"

"L'Homme—" He sighs. "It's this one."

Aurora turns around, only to find Harry standing in the same place they were a minute ago. The shelf next to him is filled with bottles of the same cologne. Apparently, his cologne.

She gasps.

"Harry!" She walks towards him, and Harry shakes his head in soft laughter, scratching the back of his neck. "I was standing right next to it and you didn't tell me!"

"It's just a very common cologne, Auri." He laughs, again. It sounds kind of shaky, though, and she frowns, stopping on her track. "I don't… Why are we looking for it?"

Uh…

Well… To be honest… She doesn't have an answer for that.

She doesn't know why they're looking for it. She is just joking. She just wanted to pass the time because she is exhausted, and because the longer she spends around people, the more afraid she is of falling apart at any moment. She thought maybe she could try it on, see if his cologne would smell as well on her skin as it smelled on his… Who knows… She was just… She wasn't thinking, okay? She was just being her stupid self.

Harry, on the other hand, isn't just messing around. Harry looks actually nervous.

Her jokes are making him nervous.

She is making him uncomfortable.

In the middle of an airport, filled with people.

Shit.

And she's done it twice now.

First with the necklace… Now with the cologne…

Fuck.

How many more times till he reaches his breaking point?

How many more times till she finally pushes him through the edge?

How many more times till she puts him in a position where he won't be able to stop himself from snapping at her?

Her hands shake, and her stomach quivers.

"Yeah, no, I mean…" She shakes her head and smiles at him, closing her hands into fists and placing them behind her back. "You're right. Sorry. I—I'm really sorry. Hm… I think I… I should get a coffee."

Harry flinches his head back. "Wait what?"

"Coffee. It'll keep me awake." She walks around him, and Harry follows her movements.

"Auri, but what… Hey! What about my cologne?"

She waves it off. "Yeah, I know. I was just being annoying."

She moves towards the exit of the duty-free, where all the departure gates are, and another yawn breaks through her lips.

"Yep." She chuckles. "Definitely need some coffee."

"Auri," Harry calls, catching up with her. "Hey, stop. C'mon. Something just happened."

"What do you mean?" Aurora laughs.

She flexes her fingers, curling and uncurling them. Her eyes wander around the airport, looking for a coffee shop.

A coffee shop.

She needs a coffee shop. She needs to get herself together. She needs to busy herself with something before she does something silly and stupid again.

"I… I don't know. Why did you change your mind?"

Harry walks next to her, and she offers him a smile.

"About what?"

"What do you mean about what? About my cologne, Auri!"

Aurora flinches.

"Sorry. Yeah, no, right. The cologne. Yeah. I just… I made you uncomfortable and I was being childish. Sorry."

"I wasn't uncomfortable, Auri, I just—"

"I know."

"Auri, no, listen—"

"Harry." She turns around and smiles, then places one hand on his elbow. "It's fine. You don't need to explain yourself. I just… I really, really need a coffee right now. I haven't slept all night, so… Yeah. I'd just like to get a coffee. If you don't mind."

She lets go of his elbow, and Harry sighs.

"Ok, yeah. Let's get you some coffee, then."

They walk forward, side to side, and Harry speaks again.

"Do you still drink caramel coffee?"

Aurora widens her eyes.

"Wow… That's back from… Well, a long time ago."

It's small, and kind of timid, but Harry smiles, and then shrugs. "Used to get you one at least once a week, didn't I?"

"You did, yeah." She smiles back at him and nods, then faces forward again. There's a coffee shop only three stores ahead, and it seems to be already open. Thank God. "To be honest I can't remember the last time I had one. I drink plain black coffee now."

Harry nods, and they both walk in silence, side by side — always side by side.

It shouldn't be uncomfortable, but Aurora's chest is heavy, and her mind seems foggy.

Truth be told, she thought she would have more time before she started disappointing her friends, before letting them know how much she's changed and how uninteresting she's become.

Meeting Harry at the airport got in between her plans, though. And she could feel herself breaking little by little each second. Having to face the memories of someone she used to be, someone she liked to be, but also someone she isn't anymore. And someone she can't be anymore.

Looking at her feet, she bites the inside of her lip. She was acting like a child at the duty-free, wasn't she? Jumping around, excited about his cologne…

God. She hasn't even left the country yet, and she's already ruining things.

She needs to control herself.

She isn't a teenager anymore. She can't embarrass him. She doesn't want to embarrass him.

"Do you want something to eat?" Harry asks, and she stops walking.

They're in front of the coffee shop, but Aurora wouldn't have realized if it weren't for him.

She shakes her head. "No, I'll just get myself a coffee."

"Let me get it for you."

What?

She takes a step back. "Absolutely not."

Harry's smile falters, but he doesn't give up. "C'mon… Like the old times! Yeah?"

"No, Harry. I mean, thanks, but no. I can pay for mine."

"I know you can pay for yours, I don't—"

"Please." She shakes her head and looks down to the floor. "It's just a silly coffee. I can get it for me. Okay?"

Harry frowns.

"Ok? Yeah."

Aurora nods, looks at the shop, then back to the floor. "Are you getting anything?"

"No, I'll just wait here."

"Okay," she whispers, forcing a smile before turning around and walking away.

It's crazy to see how much Harry has changed.

That's all Aurora can think about while she stands in line and watches him type on his phone.

He's still outside, waiting for her, and seems deeply engaged with his conversation, frowning while his fingers move rapidly.

No more black skinny jeans, no more vintage t-shirts or Chelsea boots. No more curls that are longer than her own hair. No more thin shoulders nor skinny arms.

His baggy pants — wide legged, high-waisted — are beige, his cute shoes are yellow, and she still can't get over the flamingo shirt he's wearing.

He looks older, too. Brooding features, chiseled cheekbones, growing stubble. His face is perfectly carved, his traces have hardened, and there is something very manly about the way he stands there, focusing on typing on his phone.

It isn't just his physical appearance, though. He acts like a grown-up, too. There's something about the way he simply exists that screams how much he's changed. You would never tell the man standing outside is the same boy who used to make stupid bets with his roommates from uni. But it's clear that Harry isn't a boy anymore, and that he's turned into a man.

And Aurora wasn't prepared to deal with that.

Aurora lowers her chin and rubs her eyes.

She is being ridiculous.

Why would she need to be prepared for that?

Of course Harry grew up! How old is he now, anyway? 29? 30? Of course he isn't the same anymore.

She should focus on how nice it is to see him again, not about stupid things.

Who would've thought she would actually meet him at the airport? Who would've thought they'd end up sharing the flight? Standing in line with him, hopefully getting some seats next to each other… She should appreciate having a friend by her side. That's all.

Aurora can't remember why he stopped hanging out with the group, though, and now she can't stop thinking about it. She has absolutely no idea about anything that could be going on with his life. It was as if Harry had grown more and more distant with time, until he wasn't there at all.

She's still pretty sure the last time she saw him was at her and Zack's wedding. She remembers someone telling her he'd moved to the United States, but why wasn't she at his graduation? It didn't make sense. Especially considering how, around a year later, he was kind enough to send them a basket when Noah was born.

They weren't the closest friends, and they were in very different stages of their lives when they met, sure, but they were part of the same group, and she used to have a soft spot for him. Just like she used to have a soft spot for Niall.

Usually, when they were all at the pub, everyone would leave and the three of them would stay behind, chatting and laughing until Aurora felt her lids closing by themselves and they would walk her home. They both used to make her laugh all the time, and she actually loved spending those moments with them.

Until she met Zack, of course, and then she started spending her nights with him.

Maybe that was it. Maybe it wasn't about him. Maybe she had grown more and more distant, until she wasn't around anymore. At all.

She knows it's something she's done with everyone else, at least. The girls would knock on her door from time to time, though, and she couldn't run from everyone whilst living in the same city, but Harry flying overseas was a different situation. So it makes sense they didn't keep up with their friendship.

It makes sense, but it still bothers her.

It bothers her because she forgot how easy, and fun, and electrifying it was to be around him. She forgot how affectionate, attentive, kind, and friendly he was. She forgot how spontaneous and cheerful she used to be with him. She forgot how much she enjoyed his carefree and easygoing way of looking at life. She forgot…

Well, to be honest, it's like she just forgot about him.

And how could she forget about him?

Harry used to be such a great friend.

Just like Niall.

But somehow different.

Because there's something about the way Harry looks at her that she never found in Niall's eyes. It has something to do with Harry's curiosity, probably. How much he cares about details. How he likes to know more about people, about things, about everything.

"Next?" the lady behind the counter shouts.

Aurora shakes her head, and darts her eyes away from Harry.

She has no idea how much time she just spent staring at him. She didn't even notice she was doing it, to be honest. And she can only hope he didn't notice, as well.

The woman behind her taps her shoulder.

"That's you, miss," she says.

Aurora widens her eyes and steps forward. "Oh, yes, sorry… Hi!"

Their flight is delayed.

Aurora laughs, and rubs her fingers on her forehead.

"And I was worried I'd be late," she murmurs.

They've been hanging out by their gate for at least half an hour now. Harry sits next to her, their bags placed together on his opposite side. He's leaning back comfortably, arms crossed on top of his abdomen and legs spread open in front of him.

He nudges her arm with his elbow, then asks, "What was that?"

She shakes her head and waves him off with one hand, then double taps her phone with the other, lighting up the screen.

It's 6:30.

Noah should be waking up by now. Or at least Zack should be trying to wake him up.

She unlocks her phone and opens up the app to text him. She takes a deep breath in, and her fingers hover the screen. She needs to be careful with her words, because she doesn't want him to think she doesn't trust him with Noah. That would be unfair with him. And it's not even about that. Of course it's not! She knows Noah's safe with his dad. She swears she never questioned him as a father. Whatever happened between them as a couple would never change the fact that Zack loves Noah to death.

Aurora knows that. Really! The only reason why she wants to know how they're doing is because Noah has never woken up at his dad's new place, and because she knows what a long and emotional process it can be to wake him up. That's all.

She bites her bottom lip, and types the same questions again and again, until she's happy with the way she's phrased them.

Hii!

How are you guys doing?

How was Noah's first night over there? Did you guys have fun?

She sends the messages, and reads them over. And over, and over.

That was good, wasn't it? She sounded friendly, right? She wasn't attacking him, right? He wouldn't be mad at her, right?

"I'll be right back," Harry says, getting up from his seat. He moves past her quickly, looking at his own hand and sliding his finger through the screen of his phone before taking it to his ear. "Hey… Yeah, I know… No, you listen to me…"

Harry doesn't sound happy — at all — and Aurora frowns. She watches him walk away, blending between people, then glances back to her phone.

No signs of Zack yet. Which is fine. Of course. It's not even been a minute. Actually, Aurora is usually so absorbed by Noah in the mornings that she doesn't check her phone until she drops him off at preschool. So it's fine. Really.

Hopefully he'll be able to make him have breakfast by 7:15, though. Otherwise they won't get there on time. Should she remind him of that? No, that's stupid. Zack is not stupid, and she always drives him insane for reminding him of the obvious little details.

Maybe he won't even take him to preschool. Maybe he'll drive him over to his parents, instead.

Or maybe she should just trust him. Maybe this would be the time he'd follow through with a promise he'd made.

Another yawn sneaks up on her. She slides down on her seat and rubs her eyes with the palms of her hands.

Maybe she should accept Harry's offer and take a quick nap on his shoulder. She brushed the idea off minutes ago, but now she can't deny it sounds really tempting.

God… How is she supposed to spend two days on a yacht? She's never been on one before. She also hasn't been around all her friends in a very long time…

Is she going to be able to interact with them? Because if they're expecting her to act the same way she used to before getting married… Well, they'll be extremely disappointed.

The only thing about Aurora that'll resemble those old days are the clothes Maddie packed for her.

Shit. Oh shit. Oh… Fuck! Her clothes. No, no, no. Shit! She is going to kill Madison.

She can't wear all those clothes in front of Harry! There is no fucking way she'll walk in front of him in a bikini, or wearing those silk and backless dresses. There is absolutely no fucking way she's going to wear those tops that almost don't cover her breasts in front of him.

Well, not just in front of him, of course…

She's thinking about Harry because he's the one with her right now, but she doesn't want to wear those clothes in front of anyone. Not just him.

It isn't even about the people, really. It's about her body. A body that has changed a lot through the years.

Oh, boy… She needs to sleep. She can't start spiraling about how unsexy she's been feeling for years. It's not the moment for that. It's not what the weekend is about.

"Are you sleeping with your eyes open?" Harry's low and deep voice sounds right next to her ear, and Aurora jumps on her seat.

Harry chuckles behind her, then makes his way around her seat.

"Shit," she murmurs, taking her hand to her chest, but a shaky laugh still leaves her mouth. "You scared me."

He stops in front of her and furrows his brows, then tilts his head to the side and curves his mouth into a cheeky smile, narrowing his eyes to look at her.

"What?" she asks.

He doesn't move, though.

And he also doesn't stop staring at her.

Aurora shifts on her seat.

But the staring still doesn't stop.

"Harry!" She chuckles, and looks away.

And he still doesn't even flinch.

Oh, c'mon! That's ridiculous.

It's like going back to university, honestly. He used to do the same when they were younger, usually at a pub or a club. He would stare at her like that until she stumbled over her own words, or until she forgot what she was about to do. He thought it was hilarious, but she never understood the point of it.

"Knock it off, will ya?" She crosses her arms on top of her chest and rolls her eyes. "I was just thinking."

Harry (finally) laughs, face lighting up again — with dimples and wrinkles and almost fully-closed eyes.

He moves his arm, and puts a paper cup in front of her face.

Aurora snaps her brows together.

"Sorry, love, I was just testing my skills," he says.

Aurora flinches her head back.

Why is he shoving that cup in her eyes?

And also… "What skills?"

He shrugs. "Y'know, to rile you up just by looking at you."

Harry presses his lips together, as if he can't wait to burst out laughing.

And Aurora knows that face, because Noah does the exact same thing. The cheeky little monster loves to surprise her, but he can never hold up a lie. He gives out the entire thing just by looking at her with the same excitement on his face.

They honestly look the same. Except Noah is only four, and Harry a thirty-year-old man.

"Ha ha," she mocks him, looking away from his silly face. "You and my four-year-old son would be great friends."

"Aww!" Harry takes his seat next to her, chuckling and throwing an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer to his side. "I'm sure we would."

She rolls her eyes.

Harry squeezes her cheek against his chest, and she's so close to his body that she can smell the soap and cologne emanating from his skin. He smells good. Like a fresh shower. It's a nice combination, something both strong and smooth at the same time.

Shit.

She pulls away, and shakes her head.

"It wasn't a compliment," she murmurs.

Harry chuckles.

"Yeah, I'm aware of that." He withdraws his arm from around her shoulders and takes it back to his side, then puts his hand back in front of her face. The one holding a paper cup. "Now, this is for you."

Aurora raises her eyebrows.

"And what's this supposed to be, exactly?"

"Just try it."

She doesn't make any movement to acknowledge his request, but Harry also doesn't make any movement to hint he'll stop shoving the cup on her face. Eventually, she sighs, and her entire body falls.

"Harry…"

"Oh, c'mon! Just a sip. Amuse me, yeah?"

Aurora glances at his hand, then back at his face. She presses lips together, then finally uncrosses her arms and lifts one of them to reach the cup, curling her fingers around it.

For the sake of not ruining her mood, she ignores the way he cheers, or how he grins proudly before leaning his back against the backrest of his seat. She simply clutches the cup between both hands, instead, and its warmth is a high contrast with her cold skin. She can't help but hum at the feeling, and then she shivers, even her chin trembling a little.

A timid chuckle escapes from her mouth, and she closes her eyes. She brings the cup up to her face and puts her nose close to the lid, breathing the flavor in.

And just like that, her chest tightens.

The smell is unmistakable, a combination between coffee and caramel that she would recognize anywhere, anytime.

She blinks her eyes open, and turns her head to look at him.

Harry is watching her attentively, without any traces of amusement or playfulness surrounding him anymore.

Aurora blinks a couple of times, gathering enough strength to ask him, "Did you… Did you get me a caramel coffee?"

He nods once, only one side of his mouth lifting up. "Yeah."

She looks back at the cup in her hands, and blinks again.

"Why?"

"I don't know," he says, softly. "Intuition, maybe. I know you already had your black coffee, but I… I don't know. I felt like you needed it? I don't know. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, it sounds stupid. Is that okay? Hope I didn't—"

She nods rapidly — unable to speak, but also desperate for him to stop explaining himself.

And thankfully, he does.

Aurora doesn't know what to say about it, though. She doesn't even know if there's anything she can say about it.

His words don't sound stupid to her. That's for sure. The thing is that Harry doesn't understand the meaning his gesture actually holds, which scares her. He was able to pick up on something she needed when she wasn't brave enough to admit it to herself in the first place. And it was something so trivial… It was just coffee. Coffee.

"Noah does that sometimes, y'know," Aurora murmurs, looking at the mass of people in front of them. She hunches down a bit, not bothering by her awful posture as she comforts herself with the hot beverage in between her hands. Changing the subject is the only way she knows how to answer him right now, so she keeps going. "Sleeping with his eyes half open. It freaks me out."

Harry hums.

"There's a name for that, isn't it?"

His voice is as soft and calm as before, and Aurora nods.

"Yeah, nocturnal something… I don't know. I always forget the stupid word." She rolls her eyes, and a humorless laugh leaves her mouth, making her body shake. "How do people even choose these names, huh? Why bother naming it if it's gonna be some ridiculous word no-one can even pronounce?"

"That's… Yeah, I don't know. You have a point, though."

"Sorry," she whispers, looking down at her lap. "Zack drives me insane using all those terms all the time. Makes me feel stupid."

Harry doesn't say anything, but for once the silence between them doesn't feel uncomfortable.

She exhales the frustration out of her body, taking the cup to her mouth and sipping carefully in case it burns her tongue.

The coffee touches her lips, and its sweetness automatically invades all of her senses. Her tongue tastes the caramel, and there's something bitter behind it, but it is mostly mellow and buttery. Just like she remembers it.

And just like that, she's remembering all of it.

She's flooded with memories from the comfort of home, and about the fun of living. Memories with simpleminded thoughts and unpretentious actions.

She's back to a place where she isn't scared of speaking her mind all the time, where she isn't afraid of letting people down by her silly behavior, where she isn't terrified of her personality being the embarrassment of those around her. She's back to a place where she knows her friends and family like her for who she is, and where she's proud of her because of that.

She's full of affectionate touches, sincere words, and genuine feelings.

There's confidence inside her, and an entire world she's willing to find out.

And when she finally gulps down the simplest sip of caramel coffee, warmth takes over her throat. It reverberates through every inch of her body, and she shivers — her body filling with goosebumps as she closes her eyes to the paradoxical feeling.

A moment passes, and the weight of a soft textured fabric lands on her back.

"Before you say anything," Harry's deep voice murmurs next to her, and she opens her eyes to look at him. "I'm not wearing it. And it's driving me insane seeing you so cold, so please just wear it."

Aurora glances at her shoulders, finding Harry's checked jacket covering her skin. It feels good, and it feels warm. And she actually doesn't mind it. At all. But there's something about the way Harry has just talked to her that flies directly into Aurora's heart.

Maybe it's the softness of his voice. Or maybe how worried he sounded. Or maybe the fact that he seems to pay attention to her. Or maybe just because he acts as if he knows her so well. Even after so many years without talking to her. Or seeing her.

Or maybe it's just because she's already on edge because of the damn caramel coffee he bought especially for her.

She doesn't know exactly what it is, but something in his words triggers her into instantly tearing up. She can't help the overreaction, and before she can figure out a way to hide it, the evidence of her crying falls down her cheek, and she's taking a hand up to wipe it off her.

"Auri, hey…"

Harry's hand lands on her back. The last push she needs to turn into an emotional wreck. A sob bursts out of her chest, and she covers her mouth. Oh my God.

"Auri, love, I'm sorry… Did I… I can get the jacket back, I didn't—"

She shakes her head and puts the coffee between her thighs, then takes both hands up to her face. She uses her palms to wipe down the tears from her cheeks, and a long and shaky sigh leaves her mouth.

Harry takes the cup from between her legs, putting it down on the floor before shifting closer to her. His knees bump into the side of her thigh, and the hand that isn't on her back brushes softly her jaw, getting rid of another tear.

"I'm… I'm sorry," she whispers. "You're fine. You didn't… You didn't do anything wrong."

The last thing she wants is for him to see her like that. They haven't seen each other for so long… She doesn't want to welcome him back to her life with tears and drama. She also doesn't want him to feel guilty about something that has nothing to do with him.

"Ok…" He sounds wary, and while one hand rubs circles on her back, the other grabs her hand. "What's going on, tho? What can I do to help?"

Once again, Aurora shakes her head. "I'm… I'm fine. I think I'm just… I'm just exhausted from not sleeping last night."

It isn't a lie, but it also isn't the truth. She doesn't want to admit how lonely she constantly feels, because she wants to learn how to be alone. It doesn't make sense to ask for help when all she wants is to learn how to not need help.

"Why didn't you sleep?"

"It's nothing. Really… Don't worry about me, I'm just being dramatic right now."

He strokes his thumb up and down on the back of her hand, and Aurora sighs, leaning into the warmth of his jacket.

Warmth. Apparently that's all she craves now.

"Of course I worry about you, Auri. And I'm here if you need anything, ok?"

She nods, but his care for her brings another wave of tears, and she hides behind one hand while the other holds tightly onto him.

"C'mere," he murmurs, dragging the hand on her back to her shoulder and pulling her to his chest.

She can't believe the amount of times she's been hugged by him in merely a couple of hours, but she doesn't fight him. In fact, she does quite the opposite: she snuggles into him and cries quietly. And when Harry squeezes her shoulders, she squeezes his fingers in response.

"Talk to me, love, please. What's going on?"

She sniffs. "Nothing…"

He rubs her arm, softly and tenderly, then carefully adds, "I don't wanna force you, but I can tell something's up and I'm worried about you."

Aurora shakes her head, feeling the desperation in her body slip out of her mouth as she cries to him. "Please don't... I don't want… I don't wanna worry you, ok? I really don't. I don't want to bother you. I'm just… Overreacting. I'll be fine. I'll be—"

"Auri, that's not—"

"Yes. Yes it is. It's just—"

"Stop doing that," he says, squeezing her shoulder. "You keep shutting me off every time I try to explain myself."

"Sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I swear. I'm sorry—"

"Auri—

"—I'm so sorry—"

"—It's okay—"

"—I really am—"

"Auri, hey!" He pulls back, grabbing her shoulders with both hands and forcing her to look at him. His eyes are warm and caring as he stares inside hers, but there's a frown all over his face that screams something different. Annoyance, perhaps? Or maybe… Frustration? "Listen to me. It's fine, ok? There's no need for you to apologize. It's fine."

She squeezes her eyes shut, shaking her head. "No…"

"Yes, it's fine, Auri."

"It's not—"

"Yes—"

"No!" Aurora opens her eyes, but tears quickly blurry her sight. She blinks, and before she knows it, she's fully sobbing and crying again. "It's not fine! Ok?! I'm not… I'm not fine, Harry. I'm not! I'm falling apart and I just… It's like I can't stop… And I just… I hate it, ok? I really do… I keep letting everyone down. And I… Fuck… I have no idea how… How am I supposed to spend the entire weekend…. The entire weekend pretending my life isn't a mess right now? I just… I can't… I can't pretend… I'm not… I can't…"

There's only a beat of silence before Harry pulls her into his chest again, squeezing her shoulders while he takes a long, deep, and heavy breath in. Then exhales loudly through his nose.

"I don't know what's going on with your life right now," he says softly, resting his chin on the top of her head and closing his eyes while she sobs into his chest. "And I know I haven't been around, but I'm here for you, ok?"

And just like before, Aurora melts into him. She hugs his waist, and leans against his body despite the uncomfortable and public position they're in. Crying all the tears she's been holding in so far. Silently sharing with him all the hurt, the doubts, and the insecurities she's been feeling. All the blaming, the questioning, and the yelling she's been hiding. Letting him absorb the wreck she is turned into after six years of marriage. All the failures. All the mistakes. All the countless "should've done better", and also "should've tried harder". She lets it all out. With no hold backs, nor regrets.

"And you don't have to pretend, Auri," he adds. "At least not to me. Not even a little bit. Never… Why would you even pretend, huh? I can't be there for you if you don't let me know your life's a mess, and I want to be there for you. You know I do, yeah?"

Aurora can't answer him, not when her body's turning everything inside her into tears and sobbing, but he doesn't seem to be waiting for any words. Nor reactions. He rubs her back gently, while still holding her tightly, and then just keeps talking.

"Besides, I don't expect anything from you, so—I mean, wait… That's not—Shit. That didn't sound good."

And despite everything, despite all the pain and all the tears and all the fears, a soft and low chuckle escapes from Aurora's chest.

"That came out wrong… It's not—It's not what I wanted to say. Because of course I expect things from you, like… You're brilliant. You're amazing. You can do amazing things if you want to, ok? I know you can. What I meant is that—That there's no pressure, y'know? That's all. And that no matter what you do or what you say, nothing will change... I mean, I haven't been around, but you don't have to pretend things are good if they aren't, y'know? I'll be your friend even if… I don't know… Even if everything's falling apart… Actually, I want to be there especially when everything's falling apart, ok? So yeah, I just—Jesus Christ." He sighs. "Fuck. Auri please tell me you know what I'm trying to say here because I'm just freaking myself out right now."

Aurora's chuckle turns into laughter, and she nods against his chest, taking one hand up to her face to wipe off the last few tears.

"I do, yes." She clears her throat, trying to get rid of some of the scratchiness. "Relax. I got it from the beginning."

Harry smiles and sighs again, squeezing her shoulders. "Could've said something, huh? Stop me there. Save me the embarrassment, maybe?"

"You said I kept cutting you off when you tried to explain yourself, so…" Aurora shrugs.

"Ohh, I see. Okay." Harry laughs. "We should work on your timing, then. Smartass."

She smiles, and sniffs. "My timing's perfect. It was cute, and I was having fun."

"Of course you were."

Although she can't see him, the smile is obvious in his voice, and she sighs. A long and heavy sigh. One that's strong enough to relax her entire body, and that makes her close her eyes and drop her shoulders.

"Thank you," she murmurs, still into his chest.

"Yeah," he murmurs back. "Anytime, love."

There's a pause between them. And then Harry speaks again.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really, to be honest… At least not right now."

"Ok…"

Another pause, and then…

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

She takes a deep, long breath in, then exhales while snuggling into his chest.

"Can we just… Stay like this for another minute? Just… Y'know… In silence?"

"Hm… So you want me to shut up, is that it?"

Aurora chuckles.

"Well, I wouldn't put it like that, but…"

Harry chuckles, too.

"'S fine. I don't mind. We can stay like this for as long as you want."

And so they do.

They hug for a while. In silence. A tight embrace that's simple, but that's also intense enough to let her know that he's there for her.

Aurora can't remember the last time she's been held like this, with honest tenderness and affection. The kind of hug that she doesn't question, and that comes naturally. That feels natural.

"This was supposed to be a fun weekend," she murmurs, curling a little bit more into him and closing her eyes to avoid facing the world. "Can't believe I'm seeing you for the first time in years and already bringing all this drama to you."

Harry chuckles lightly.

"Don't be silly, ok? We've been over this already… We're friends and this is what friends are for." He kisses the top of her head, and then rests his cheek against the same place. "Besides, we didn't leave London yet. We can still have plenty of fun."

Aurora sighs. "God. I really need to have some fun. I miss having fun."

"I'll make sure you get more than some."

He squeezes her shoulder, and Aurora smiles.

Still with her eyes closed, and pressing her ear against his chest, she listens to his heartbeat, and to the way he breathes. He isn't calm, but he is steady, and somehow comfortable. So she focuses on him, and only him. As if mimicking his rhythm, or syncing with his pace, could make everything in her life feel better.

Harry sighs against her, and when the thumping inside him gets faster, she pulls one arm from around his waist to rest her hand on the left side of his chest. She spreads her fingers open where his heart is, and breathes in and out slowly, hoping to calm him down again.

He takes one hand to her neck, sliding it to the back of her head and tangling his fingers with her hair.

As he scratches her scalp, Aurora can feel every muscle of her body fully relaxing. It's soothing. And it's safe. There's no other place she would rather be right now, and she's convinced that, as long as she's holding him and he's holding her, she'll finally relax and rest like she hasn't been able to in so long.

"Have you always been such a great hugger?" she asks, her voice as soft and as slow as her body feels.

Harry clears his throat, then murmurs, "I don't know."

Aurora hums.

Another moment passes, until she breaks the silence again.

"I'm sorry for being a shitty friend."

"You're not a shitty friend."

"But I am, tho. I have no idea what's going on with your life… It's been so long and I… I never reached out."

Harry sighs, and shifts on his seat.

Aurora follows his movements, making sure the hug doesn't end even when he seems to be pulling away.

He doesn't, though — pull away. He simply leans back on his seat, pulling her along with him. And because she's still comfortable against his chest, she doesn't see the way his face falls, how he presses his lips together in a hard line, or glares at random people passing by.

"It's fine," he eventually says.

And she's so focused on her own past behavior, that she also doesn't notice the slight change in his voice.

"It's not, though."

"I never reached out either, did I? And I should have… I just… I should have."

She fidgets with the fabric of his shirt, and although it takes her a moment to answer, the words fly easily out of her mouth. "I'm not sure if it would've made any difference, to be honest… I've pushed everyone away, would've done the same to you."

"There's no fucking way I would've let you."

"It wouldn't be up to you, tho."

A ding-ding-dong blares from the speakers in the lounge area.

"Attention passengers on Ryanair flight 1832 to Naples, we are now ready for boarding at gate 56. Passengers on Ryanair flight 1832 to Naples, we are now ready for boarding at gate 56. Boarding is for business class and passengers with…"

The attendant's voice fades as Aurora stops paying attention to it. She blinks her eyes open and, against her wishes, pulls away from Harry's arms.

"Finally," she breathes out.

When she looks at him, she finds nothing but honesty and affection inside his eyes, and it's enough to make her heart skip a beat.

She curves her lips into a smile, then brings her hands up to wipe the dry tears from her cheeks. "Thank you."

Harry smiles, too. "You've said that already."

"I know." She nods, dropping her hands back to her lap. "I just… Thank you, really. For now and… And for the coffee. Even though I forgot to drink it."

He takes one hand to her face, and puts some of her hair behind her ear.

"We'll have time for another one," he says, then stares into her eyes again. "Yeah?"

"Yeah…" She gulps down, captivated by his gaze. "I think… I think it'd be nice if we could catch up, right? I mean, there's so much about you that I don't know…"

Harry smiles, although it doesn't reach his eyes.

"There isn't anything crazy to know about me."

Aurora furrows her brows.

"Well I don't need crazy information, Harry," she scoffs, making sure the tone of her voice is carrying some playfulness while she rolls her eyes. "I just wanna know what's up with your life… Where do you live? Do you have any dogs, or cats? Where do you work? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you have any kids? Are you married? I don't know…"

Harry stares blankly at her for a moment, then looks away, reaching for their bags.

"Those are too many questions, love."

Aurora shrugs.

"Well, yeah…" She leans down and picks up her coffee. The cup feels cold, and although she's sad she didn't get to drink it, she wouldn't change anything about what happened in the last… Well, however long it's been since they got here. "I know. I'm curious. That's why I said it'd be nice to catch up."

She stands up and rearranges Harry's jacket, putting it on properly so it doesn't fall from her shoulders, then waits while he stands as well, picking their bags from the seat next to his.

"Ok, yeah. Sure. We can catch up."

"Wow." She snorts and widens her eyes. "Calm down, now. Don't sound sooo excited, please."

Harry laughs. He puts his own bag on his shoulder, and she takes hers from his hand.

"I'd love for us to catch up, Auri. I really would."

"Okay…" She narrows her eyes at him, putting her bag on her shoulder and walking towards the line. "Are you hiding something from me?"

Harry follows her, grabbing his boarding pass and passport from the front pocket of his bag. "Why would I hide something from you?"

"I don't know…" She throws the coffee cup away, then adds, "Maybe you're working with the FBI. Or, maybe you're married to someone who works for the FBI. Ohhhhh," — she widens her eyes, looking at him while he leads their way to the gate — "or maybe, you're married to someone who's being investigated by the FBI!"

Harry chuckles through his nose. He sneaks his hands inside Aurora's bag, pulling her boarding pass and passport from it.

"There's no FBI involved, I promise," he says, handing her the items.

"Hmmm…" She grabs her things from his hand, and nibbles her bottom lip before asking, "But you're married to someone?"

"Nop."

"Okay… Dating to someone?"

He shakes his head, and Aurora nods.

"Are relationships a touchy subject, maybe?"

Harry smirks, and that's more than enough to give Aurora an answer, but she still waits for him to say something.

Anything.

"I broke up with someone not too long ago." He shrugs. "So I'm not in the mood for relationships right now, to be honest. And that includes talking about it."

The line moves quickly, and they take a step forward.

"Oh, sure. Yeah. I get it. Of course." Aurora nods. "I'm sorry, tho. Y'know, that it didn't work out."

He shrugs, and they walk again.

"'S fine."

The shift in his behavior is loud and clear, and it bothers her. The idea of someone breaking Harry's heart deep enough for the pain to overshadow his excitement and dull the brightness of his smile doesn't feel right. So it bothers her. It really does. Whoever it was, he surely deserved someone much better. He surely deserves someone better.

A flight attendant welcomes them with a grin and a cheerful good morning. Aurora smiles back, and hands him her passport and boarding pass, then waits for him to return them. He wishes her a safe flight, and repeats the same process with Harry.

Aurora waits for him in silence, and once they're both ready to walk through the airgate, she picks the conversation back on.

"I'm sure you'll find someone, y'know? It won't be that hard. You're still young, and dating was never a problem for you, so…"

There's a pause, and then Harry snorts. "Dating was never a problem for me? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Y'know… That's what you, Niall and Jayden used to do all the time, wasn't it? Dating and… Flirting and hooking up with everyone?"

Harry stops walking and turns to stare at her in silence, with widened eyes and flared nostrils.

Aurora stops, too, biting her lip to hold back her amusement while waiting for him to say something.

He doesn't, but he eventually laughs, throwing his head back and making her fully smile at him. He shakes his head, and starts walking again.

"Jeez, Auri, I'm so offended right now."

"Oh c'mon…" She chuckles, following his steps. "I meant it as a compliment, okay? Like… Girls were always into you, that's all."

"Not all girls, though."

"Fine." She shrugs. "Ninety-five percent of them, then."

He snorts again. "Ok."

"How old were you when we met? Twenty? Twenty-one?"

"Nineteen."

"Oh shit, really?"

"Yeah, it was my second year. Why?"

"Nothing. I think… For a moment I just forgot you're so much younger than me, that's all."

"C'mon, not so much, I'm almost thirty now."

"Well, yes, but I'm thirty-five."

"See? Same age."

She chuckles. "We're not the same age."

"Ok, but almost."

"Not even close, Harry."

"Oh c'mon! Then what are you now? Ancient? Should I call you grandma?"

She chuckles. "Well… I do feel ancient, to be honest."

He rolls his eyes. "This is ridiculous. You're just as young as I am."

She shakes her head.

"Yeah, I mean, I know that… But I don't know… I mean, talking to you right now I don't feel like you're younger, y'know? Let alone that much. But also—"

"It's not that much."

"No, I know. But if you think about it, I already got married and I have a four-year-old at home, so like, I really am too old and—What?" Harry is frowning at her, and she tilts her head. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

He shrugs, then faces forward, away from her. "I'm trying to decide if I should kick your ass right now or just throw you into the ocean later."

She gasps, but then she chuckles. "What? Whyyy?"

Harry raises his eyebrows at her. "I'm only five years younger than you, Auri. Five. It's not even a big deal."

She sighs.

The line in front of them moves, and they move forward as well.

"Sorry. You're right. Like I said, it doesn't feel like it right now, but I think… I don't know. When you were 19 and I was 24 it was different, yeah? I mean, we were in different stages of our lives. I was meeting Zack and you were—"

"Yes, I know. I was there, remember?"

She swallows down, and nods.

"Sorry," she repeats, much softer this time.

Aurora walks in silence, staring at the plane at the end of the hallway.

She pretends to ignore the way Harry keeps glancing at her, or how he rubs the back of his neck, or how he rolls his shoulders. She knows she bothered him, and the idea of causing a scene when they're about to get into a plane feels terrifying. She should've kept her mouth shut, that way she wouldn't have them put them in that situation. Again.

It's like she's been riding on a rollercoaster she never knew she would get into in the first place. Going through multiple sudden changes of speed and directions. Slowly climbing a steep slope and painfully anticipating the fall before she actually drops directly into the ground. Holding herself during the unexpected tight turns and sharp curves, and gasping for air at every inverted loop. Experiencing the ups and downs of gravity as she's weightless and happy at the top of the hill, then all of a sudden her own personality is pushing her back down to reality. And by the end of it, the back of her throat hurts, her stomach feels funny, and there's just heaviness all over her body.

"Hey," Harry calls.

He shifts his bag from one shoulder to the other and puts his arm around her, pulling her closer even though they're still walking. He kisses the top of her head, and keeps his lips there as he speaks. "'M sorry. Shouldn't have cut you off like that."

Aurora shrugs. "It's fine."

"It's not. We were just joking and I… I took it personally, 'm sorry."

He kisses her head, again, and her lashes flutter.

She knows he's sorry, but she doesn't know what to say to him. She knows how easy it is for her to forgive when she shouldn't, and how many times in the last six years she believed in empty apologies.

So although she knows, she isn't sure she can trust herself.

She hasn't been trusting herself for a while now.

A new flight attendant welcomes them into the plane, and they both pull away from each other.

Aurora walks in front of Harry, and she does her best to smile genuinely at the cheerful woman that's wishing them a good morning and a good flight.

She holds the strap of her bag tightly on her shoulder, and walks through the narrow carpeted aisle, focusing on the numbers and letters above the seats as if she's looking for specific ones. She pauses here and there for other passengers that are getting settled, and it's only past the emergency door that Harry speaks again.

"Should we sit here?" he asks. He's pointing to the opposite side where she's facing, so she turns around, finding three empty seats.

"Okay."

She nods, and tilts her chin up to check the space to put her bag. Harry is quicker, though, because he is already closing his fingers around the strap on her shoulder and pushing it away from her arm.

"I'll put our bags together, yeah?"

She doesn't want to fight him about it, so she simply thanks him with the best smile she can offer and allows him to easily grab her duffel bag.

She slides through the two empty seats to reach the one by the window, not waiting any longer to secure the seat belt and make herself comfortable. Once she's settled, she clasps her hands together, and takes a deep breath in. Her chin trembles, and she looks down, biting the inside of her cheek. She doesn't want to cry again. She really doesn't want to cry again.

Also, she needs to sleep. She must get some sleep. There is absolutely no way she is going to handle spending the entire day awake, and if she doesn't sleep now, she'll only get an opportunity again at the yacht — meaning she won't get to spend any time with her friends.

Harry sits next to her and puts his own belt on, then turns off his phone and shoves it into his pocket. Aurora doesn't look at him, but he turns sideways anyway, leaning his shoulder on the back of the seat and blocking them from any possible curious eyes.

He grabs one of her hands from her lap and takes her fingers to his mouth, placing a long kiss to her knuckles before sighing.

"Auri, love," his voice is soft, and a whisper for only them to hear, "I really am sorry."

She nods, taking her free hand to wipe a tear before it could roll down her cheek.

Shit.

"Please, don't cry."

"Mhm."

"Auri… Look at me, please."

She shakes her head, then. Because she knows that she'll fall apart all over again if she looks at him.

God, she's so tired.

"I didn't…" she murmurs, then takes a deep breath and tries again. "I didn't mean anything bad by the age thing… I promise."

"I know that, love. Of course I know," he says, pressing another kiss to her hand. "Fuck. I know. We were just joking. And I'm not mad about it, I promise. I mean, I was actually a stupid hormonal teenager back when we met, so yeah… You're right, things were different. But please, Auri, I hate that I made you cry just because I… Shit, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It wasn't about you, I promise."

She stares at her knees and nods, because she knows he is. And she also knows she can trust him, which is probably why she — finally — honestly blurts out, "I keep messing everything up, y'know? All the time."

He brushes his thumb on the back of her hand, then murmurs back to her, "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I just… I keep letting everyone down, and I hate it, but it's like I can't stop it. And I mean, to be honest I don't… I don't even recognize myself anymore. I used to have so much fun, and I felt so different about life… And I treated people around me so differently… And now I'm just… I don't know… I don't know why I say things, or why I do things. I don't know what I want, or what to do with my life… And I feel so… Lonely… All the damn time. But I get why I'm lonely, y'know? I mean it's true that I don't know how to be anything else besides being Noah's mum. And I'm so insensitive to other people because of that, and I keep saying things I shouldn't and I just… I look back and I realize how I pushed everyone away… How I… I don't know, I'm so tired of this. I'm just so tired of myself."

There is a pause between them, mostly because Harry's waiting for the people in front of them to settle and stop prying at their conversation.

It's good, though, because it gives her time to catch her breath again.

And then, Harry leans deeper into his seat, still holding tightly to her hand.

"Is that how he made you feel?"

Aurora furrows her brows. "What—Who?"

"Zack. Is that how Zack made you feel?"

"I… No! Why—I mean, I'm just… I'm talking about myself."

"Auri, c'mon… I know you're talking about yourself, but I can read between the lines."

She closes her eyes and takes her hand up to her face, rubbing her forehead while she prepares herself to just keep blurting out what her mind is begging her to tell him.

"I think…" she says, dropping her hand back to her lap and blinking. "I think he really messed me up, y'know?"

Harry sighs.

It takes him a moment to say something. A moment that feels really, really long to her.

And then…

"Fuck." He puts his arm around her shoulders and pulls her to his chest, murmuring while resting his cheek on the back of her head, "I'm sorry."

She shrugs, snuggling into him and searching for his heartbeat, just like before.

"'S not your fault."

"But I should've been there for you."

"You wouldn't have known."

"Still… This isn't how it was supposed to be."

God, she's so tired…

Her entire body is heavy, and she doesn't even know what's happening around them anymore. She can't even make sense of their conversation anymore.

Harry feels too cozy, though, and she knows she's about to have the comfiest sleep of her life — she can feel it.

"Harry?"

"Hm?"

"I got divorced six months ago."

Harry closes his eyes, then rearranges himself on his seat and pulls her closer to him.

"I know."

"You know? How?"

"Niall."

"Oh. Okay?"

"I texted him while you were getting your coffee."

She places her hands on his hips, holding her weight to pull away from him.

Harry doesn't let her, though, squeezing her inside of his arms and locking her in.

"Please stay," he murmurs.

And Aurora doesn't fight him. She just relaxes again — she relaxes and listens to him.

"You weren't wearing a ring… And I could tell something was up, so I… I asked him. That's all. Sorry if I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it. I needed to know."

"Oh…" The concept of time is foggy inside her mind, but she's pretty sure a few seconds go by before she speaks again. "'S okay, I guess. I mean… Niall knows about the divorce, but he doesn't… He doesn't know the whole story. He doesn't know how bad it was."

"Does anyone know?"

"You?" She chuckles, but it's humorless, because she knows that not even Harry truly knows. "I just… I haven't been able to talk about it yet, or like… Process it, I think. I don't know. I keep justifying him a lot, which I'm learning it's something I shouldn't do."

He makes his cheek comfortable on top of her head, then takes one hand to play with her hair, scratching her scalp. "It can't be easy to go through something like this on your own, tho."

"I know…" She closes her eyes, appreciating his affectionate touch. "My mum's helping me a lot… She had to go back home now, but she spent over a month with me. Makes sure I don't skip therapy… Stuff like that."

"Hmm…" Harry says, and his voice echoes inside her body. "Always liked her. Smart one."

Aurora curls her mouth up. "Yeah…"

Another moment goes by, and Aurora is filled with lightness as her body slowly drifts into sleep.

"Thank you for telling me this, Auri."

"Mhmm… It's weird… To like, talk about it."

"I'll always listen. Whenever you want to talk about it, I'll listen."

"Thank you… 'M really tired, tho... And I think my brain is going to explode…"

Harry chuckles. "Get some sleep, yeah? I'll wake you up when we're about to land."

"'Mkay." She hugs his waist, and nuzzles against his chest. "Can't believe this all happened and we didn't even leave the country yet."

"Tell me about it."

"Mm… 'Kay… I'll sleep now… You're comfy… And I think… I feel drunk…"

Chuckling again, Harry presses a kiss on the top of her head, then slides down a bit on his seat, and she cuddles a little bit more into him.

"Ok love," he says. "You can relax now, I got you."

And although Aurora doesn't answer, she knows he does.

She doesn't need Harry to wake her up.

Her brain drifts back to consciousness by itself, slowly making her aware of her surroundings way before the plane is even close to landing.

She's warm, because of Harry's arms wrapped around her shoulders, but also because of his jacket covering her body. Her face is pressed against his shirt, and once again she's breathing from his skin. He still smells good — like a fresh shower — but now it's also mixed with a little bit of sweat, so it's somehow even better than before.

It's hot. He's hot. Her insides feel hot.

She's also comfortable — so, so comfortable. It feels like she just took the best nap of her entire life. Like she's enveloped by a sense of calm and peace, a feeling that she doesn't want at all to end. Snuggled into his chest while his fingers keep playing with her hair, tracing random patterns on the back of her head. The movements are sweet, sweet enough to tempt her to go back to sleep. And she almost does.

Except she can't. Not anymore.

Because above all that, she can tell she's also kind of desperate. Clingy. Needy. Hugging his waist as if their flight landing in Italy depended on how tight her grip is. Both of her legs over his left thigh. His strong, firm thigh. She's holding onto him like a baby koala. A troubled one. A baby koala that's craving to be held by someone. Anyone. And as if she's terrified of the idea of being left behind while her mind shuts off from the real world.

And maybe she is. Who knows.

She always liked to cuddle, and she hasn't properly cuddled in a really long time, so it's not a surprise. Still, it very quickly becomes embarrassing, and certainly not how Harry imagined things to go when, earlier in the airport, he offered his shoulder for her to take a quick nap.

He offered his shoulder, not his entire body, for fucks sake!

So, against all wishes, Aurora stirs and groans — mostly because her mind is battling between sleeping for just two more minutes or acknowledging the reality of the world she's in — then pulls away from him.

"Hmm…" She takes her hands up to her face, and rubs the last traces of sleepiness away from her puffy eyes, then sits back on her seat. "What time is it?"

Next to her, Harry moves as well, withdrawing his arms from around her shoulders and placing his hands on his lap.

"Must be around ten thirty now… Last time I checked was ten fifteen."

He sounds calm, so calm that she can't make any emotion out of his voice, so she turns her head to look at him.

Harry looks fully awake. Well rested. Peaceful. Soft. The only sign of him turning into her personal pillow are the wrinkles all over his shirt, but everything else looks… Perfect. Like heaven. He looks like heaven.

"Hi…" He curls one side of his mouth up, and Aurora smiles, too.

"Hi…"

Only then it occurs to her that she's been staring at him, and she looks away, taking her hands to smooth out her hair then fix her dress.

"Did you sleep well?"

She nods, and takes his jacket off, instead using it like a blanket to cover her chest.

"Um, yeah… I did. Thanks. And thanks for… You know… Letting me crush on you? I mean, it probably wasn't comfortable for you, so… Yeah, thanks."

Harry scoffs, shuffling down on his seat and spreading his legs as wide open as he can.

"Are you kidding me?" He takes both arms up and places his hands behind his head, resting on top of the palm of his hands. "You're a great cuddler. Went straight to my top five of all time."

The playfulness is clear in his words, which is why Aurora chuckles. Still, one question is loud and clear inside her mind: who are the other four great cuddlers? And most importantly, why isn't she his favorite one?

The thoughts bring an uncomfortable feeling to her stomach, and she shifts on her seat.

"That's kind of you to say, but you should see me during winter in the middle of the night… I'm like a baby koala and it's not a very pretty sight."

"Huh." He smirks, and lifts his eyebrows. "Is that an offer?"

Aurora snorts and rolls her eyes, feeling her cheeks burn before she looks away. "Shut up."

Harry laughs, and just like that, everything between them goes back to normal.

Getting into conversation with him is easy. Neither of them have seen their friends in a while, so they distract themselves by reminiscing old stories and laughing at silly things they used to do together. They also talk about Italy, about how neither of them have been to the country before, and how it's been a dream of both of them. They bond over small details, and find connections over silly things. And it's exactly what Aurora needs, as she finds out after minutes and minutes of light conversation and genuine giggles.

It is only when they're about to land that her face falls again.

Fully awake, the airplane movements become way more obvious than they did when taking off. And as soon as the belt sign goes on, and the pilot announces they're about to descend to Naples, Aurora's heartbeat speeds up.

She straightens up and leans her back fully against her seat, looking through the window at the bright sky.

"Are you ok?" Harry asks.

"Mhm…" She nods, and doesn't take her eyes off from the view. "Just… I don't like this part very much, that's all."

"Wanna hold my hand?"

It is a nice offer, but one she doesn't think she should accept. So she doesn't. And as the plane gets closer and closer to land, every movement becomes even more clear. When it shakes, when it turns, when it's getting ready to touch the ground.

She holds herself until the last minute. She holds herself tightly and firmly. Until it becomes too much, and one specific up and down of the airplane has her reaching for his hand.

It's like Harry is already waiting for her, to be honest, because she finds him quickly. Her sweaty and cold palm meets his warm one, and she turns her head to look at him.

He's already watching her, and as soon as their eyes meet, his face lights up with a smile.

Her belly quivers, and her chest tightens.

"It'll be over in a minute," he says, squeezing her hand.

She nods, and swallows down, because it's the only thing she can do right now. She knows what he's talking about, and she knows it's true — they'll land, and everything will pass.

Although something tells her that, whatever she's feeling right now, will not go away. It won't be over in a minute. It won't be over even when they're out and away from the plane.

In fact, she's starting to believe that, as soon as Harry is next to her, looking at her like that, the fluttering in her stomach will never go away.

if you've made it here, say caramel coffee :')

also, thank you for reading.

dani :)

PART THREE

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles writing #harry styles au

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hansoeii · 7 months

Note

Not a Sylki shipper, but do you genuinely believe they won't be endgame? Like I get it, it seems like Sylvie is not in love with him and they're kinda pushing Lokius (might be just mocking us), but don't you think they could do a 180 in the last episode? It would make no sense, but the writer is a cishet man, who ships Sylki. Marvel is not good at writing romance. I feel sad, because I'm seeing all these people say that Sylki is over, celebrating and I feel like they'll be crushed on Thursday. They could absolutely do a 180, rush the romance with "she was always in love, she was just pushing him away" and make them endgame. Again, it would be bad writing and it'd make zero sense, but the majority of the people don't care about the romance, including my irls, they only want to see the multiverse stuff. So they won't care. And I feel like Disney/Marvel don't care either.

Yes, I totally believe that Sylkie is over and that nothing will happen between them again.

What makes me say that? It's simple. All Sylvie wants is a simple life on the timeline, they've made that clear several times. She only ever follows Loki once that life and her timeline are in danger. And I can't blame her for that. She has no interest in Loki and his friends and what's even more important: she has even less than zero interest in the TVA. She's selfish, she admitted that herself.

The TVA is what's important here. The TVA has become Loki's home, it's the place where he found his family. He (and Mobius) is the heart of the TVA. And he won't part with it, and Sylvie would never willingly stay there for longer than necessary.

She has made it clear by telling Loki to write his own story that their stories are separate ones.

This season so far has been incredibly well written, and I don't believe they're gonna do a big 180 in the finale. I could totally be wrong, but I don't think it's likely.

I believe that Sylvie will be the one to restore everyone's memories in the last episode as her final heroic act and then once the timelines are restored, she will go back to her simple life.

And when it comes to Eric Martin: just ignore him. He's a troll, and I don't believe a single thing he says about any ships. He constantly likes Sylkie tweets and then suddenly switches to liking Lokius tweets. It's best to just watch the show and ignore what any of the creators have to say (besides Tom Hiddleston, I adore his commentary) about it, just draw your own conclusions! And so far, we have gotten 5 episodes that made it clear that there's nothing even close to romantic going on between Sylvie and Loki anymore.

#ask #anon #loki

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mintharan · 5 months

Text

I've been burdened with terrible visions. Walk with me.

It struck me how Spawn Astarion with Duke Wyll and Ascended Astarion with Duke Wyll could work as negatives of each other.

For instance, Wyll marries spawn Astarion, they are so happy everyone around them gets hit with the fallout. Wyll singlehandedly makes nightly soirees a thing. "I just think parties should happen at night, there's no point in holding any kind of grand event during the day if you really think about it." Just so Astarion can attend and be the centre of attention and speculation.

Everyone wonders about the Duke's mysterious husband who never goes out during the day. Rumours abound. "I hear Duke Ravengard is extremely jealous and doesn't let his husband out of his sight, locks him up inside the house so none may gaze upon him." "Nonsense, I hear the man is actually a pale drow and the sun hurts his eyes." "More nonsense, I hear he's an insufferable prick who thinks everyone is beneath him and only comes out at night because the sun makes other people's flaws too apparent."

You get the gist of it. Astarion delights in having all these rumours about himself, and tells Wyll to stop trying to dispel them. "Darling, the people of Baldur's Gate get bored easily, let them speculate, it's better than starting yet another cult." They adopt Lily Aurora, who Astarion raises to be a menace. Wyll thinks she's just darling even as people look in horror as she attempts to chew the furniture.

It's all very sweet, despite Astarion's occasional maudlin periods about not being able to go out into the sun.

Now, Ascended Astarion and Duke Wyll get exactly the same story, except no one's happy about it.

This works best imo if they were together before Astarion's ascension and then Wyll broke it off. In this case he'd choose to become a Duke out of an extreme sense of duty to protect the people of Baldur's Gate from the monster Astarion had become.

They would orbit each other constantly, Wyll reminding Astarion that he couldn't go too far without consequence and Astarion testing the limits of Wyll's feelings for him (the love was still there, just twisted).

Eventually the loneliness gets to them both, but mostly to Wyll, who can never get over Astarion, and in a moment of weakness gives in. It feels like a victory to Astarion at first, but like everything else about Ascension he soon realizes it's hollow.

Wyll isn't happy about compromising his morals, even if it's for love, and he despairs in not recognizing the man he fell for in Astarion. Wyll tries to end it many times, but Astarion has him wrapped around his finger, with sex, but mostly with the mimicry of the romance they enjoyed during their early courtship.

Astarion fears one day he'll leave him for good and that he'll be alone. Again. Haunting the halls of his former prison with only his memories for company.

So he brings Lily home, and at first Wyll is horrified but soon he finds comfort in the child's presence. He stays home for longer periods of time. Less 'Duke' duties take him away from Astarion. He's a fucking genius, he solved it.

Except it's obvious Wyll loves the child more than he loves Astarion. He takes to being a father like a duck to water, and while he's home more often all his time is spent with their daughter. His daughter really, he seems to think Astarion will be a bad influence on Lily if he as much as breathes near her.

So his grand plan backfired and now he's so jealous he can barely see straight. He wishes he could take back the damn girl and return her to the Ilmater priests.

But then he remembers. Cazador had made good use of a father's love for his daughter when he made Leon do everything he wanted to keep Violet safe.

Astarion starts doing the same, manipulating Wyll with veiled threats to Lily's life. Wyll knows exactly what he's doing, but he's powerless to do anything. Astarion got the child on his own, they're not married, Wyll has no rights to her.

But he could have, Astarion reminds him. Dangling the promise like a noose. If he agreed to become Astarion's consort, he could have everything.

"Have I not been made into enough of a monster?"

"Darling, at least we'd be monsters together."

It all comes to a head when Astarion threatens to turn Lily instead. "Think about it, she'd be your sweet child forever. She'll never grow up to blame you for anything."

Wyll gives in, allows Astarion to turn him and becomes his consort. They get married, it's a grand event, with the whole city in attendance.

Astarion is triumphant, Wyll is resigned. He becomes more accommodating to Astarion's whims, and Astarion wonders if that's the result of his influence over him through their bond, or Wyll finally accepting the love he can give him.

It kills him that he'll never know.

Astarion has everything he ever wanted, he just wishes he could be happy about it. Wyll still dreams about the shy kisses they traded on an empty beach with only the moon for a witness. Another life.

#bg3 #wyllstarion #bloodpact #wyll x astarion #astarion ancunin #wyll ravengard #i should write these fics especially the ascended scenario #but i'd rather read about them ;-;#also lily aurora ravengard it's such a wyllstarion name are you kidding me #in my hc in the happy version Wyll chose Lily and Astarion Aurora #i mean aurora: literally refracted sunlight during the nighttime??? hello can anyone hear me??#there's the other latin and literal meaning of 'dawn' which is also fitting #in the ascended version he chose both names because he was subconsciously thinking about leon's daughter violet #another flower name #and aurora again it just works #i know there's wyllstarion truthers at larian and they are doing the MOST #i salute their efforts

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elitesheepi · 2 months

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Thinking about Zutara and how they would get together in a canon divergence. Despite the popular belief, I actually don't think they'd struggle with their feelings for each other once their post TSR. Before, yeah, absolutely. Katara hated Zuko and Zuko was still mid-redemption arc and dealing with his character backslide. But I also can believe that they both had lingering feelings for each other that started in the Crystal Catacombs.

We saw how both of them acted when in their own romantic pursuits, Jet and Mai respectively. Zuko was pretty much all in in their relationship before it fell apart, and Katara didn't mask her feelings for him like that. Sure it wasn't an all out relationship, but it was pretty obvious where'd it potentially go had things not turn so bad for Jet.

So, by Ember Island Players, they're both pretty comfortable with one another. Katara comfortably teasing Zuko, also showing concern when the Iroh part of the play happens. Heck, Katara was pretty involved towards the end of his arc, between encouraging him to talk to Iroh and Zuko asking her to come with him for his final confrontation with Azula. (and also hello???? the lightning scene??? HELLOOOOO???)

(shoujo romance shit seriously)

Anywhizzle, we have two characters with feelings for each other and in a place where they have that comfort and honesty with each other. Despite how easy it would be for them to get together, I think both of them would hold off from getting together because of their own individual relationships to Aang.

Saying it now, Katara does not owe Aang a relationship just because he's had a crush on her longer.

And Zuko shouldn't back away from his feelings for Katara just because of Aang's crush.

Despite that, they would hesistate heavily about purusing their feelings for each other because of Aang.

Throughout the show, Katara has gone above and beyond to constantly accomdate Aang's feelings. She's repeatedly pulled him out of the Avatar state, she's constantly been there to comfort him throughout the show. The Desert episode alone proved that Katara is the stable rock of the Gaang who had to hold everything together. Other people have written stronger metas on her, but I'm gonna summarize it with: Katara puts others before her, a'lot. It's a part of her character. She cares, and often that means having to be the strong one in tough situations, even to her own detriment or safety.

Zuko is fully in the realm of yearning for a real friendship with Aang and the gang by this point. He offered up being a prisoner to them, that's a pretty bold move on his part. Zuko held a'lot of guilt over his past actions and went above and beyond to make it up to them. In the case of Aang and Zuko, it's very obvious Zuko cares about their relationship. The Zuko-Aang friendship really is underrated, but it really tells the narrative of second chances, seeing the good in people, and just strength of bonds between people.

Which leads to the major problem and the biggest obstacle in Zutara: their friendship with Aang.

I like Aang, but the writers definitely created a precedent with his character in regards to romance. That precedent being, he's...not that good with the idea of Katara having feelings for other people. The Ember Island players gave us this gem of a conversation between him and Kataraz:

And that was just two actors in a horribly done (yet hilarious) propaganda play. He knows the play is completely nonsense, but still got jealous enough that he'd go into the Avatar State if he could. Like, that's a pretty wild line to just drop, and then to that eventually be followed up with the attempted kiss when she just said she was confused. It's not a good look for Aang. The writers really began to drop the ball here with Aang's character. But that meta debate aside, this sets the stage that Zutara would have problems getting together because of Aang's feelings. Katara knows he has a crush on her, whether Zuko knows or not is up to headcanon. But, more importantly, she knows and because she knows, it would cause her hesitation in getting with Zuko because of how Aang would react.

Katara doesn't belong to anyone, Aang, Zuko or otherwise, but a 112-year old's first crush isn't an easy thing to get over. Maybe, Katara would feel some level of responsibility for his feelings for her, that urge to protect Aang even from himself. Even from her own desired relationship. There's the complicated question Katara would have to grapple with: that urge to protect Aang vs Katara being "take what I want, do what I want" person and just choosing to be selfish of her own feelings. She doesn't want to hurt Aang, but she doesn't want to keep herself away from happiness just for his sake, it's a complicated problem. For Zuko, even with how determined he can be to do what he wants, he's not callous (now.) If he knew about Aang's crush on Katara, I'd think he'd hesitate on the basis of knowing that a first crush is hard to deal with especially if it's unrequited. Worst, if said crush ends up falling for the other friend.

As I type this, I'd think the Aang obstacle would be harder on Katara then it would be on Zuko, but both would feel that pressure of how Aang would react if he knew about their relationship. Zuko hadn't been friends with Aang long (an understatement), but Katara has. She'd feel the weight of his emotions and has more or less taken on the role of being his emotional balancer.

Now I think there's alot of avenues you can take with all this analysis, but I personally like the idea of a secret relationship blooming from this and the angst that comes with it. It'd be fine for awhile, but both of them have too much pride in themselves to want to keep it secret for long. How'd Aang react, I think might put a massive strain on the Gaang. It just feels thematically appropriate and sadly in charcater when you consider in the lore of ATLA never let go of his attachment to Katara and that whole scene from the Ember Island Players. Where'd it go from there, I think depends on the writer and how'd they interpret Aang's character personally.

Me personally? Idk. Either he'd get over it or he doesn't idk. I'll take either/or depending on the fic.

Either way, once Zutara passes that obstacle, I'd like to think they'd be a pretty strong and secure relationship.

#im avoiding work can you tell?#zutara #sheep writes a meta #atla #Zuko #katara #THIS IS ALL MY OPINION AND TAKES FROM THE SHOW #WROTE THIS IN A MILD FRENZY SO IGNORE ANY TYPOS

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ystrike1 · 1 year

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Fly Me to the Moon - by Mcat (8/10)

Everybody loves a love triangle, but I personally think love lines are more dramatic. It's gross when someone you don't like is following you. Especially when you're busy trying to woo the lover you deserve. The tension is nice, and of course this love line turns into stalking. Also, everybody present is a monster. As a bonus.

She's depressed.

She's ugly.

She's poor.

She's lonely enough to accept any kind of attention.

Our protagonist looks boring as heck at first.

Jeongyeon has been stuck in the role of caregiver for too long. Her mother had cancer, and some people just can't handle that. She became feeble, angry, and spoiled. Jeongyeon had no life when her mother was alive, and now that she's dead there's nothing to...do? She just has an old house, booze, and cigarettes. Taeho is a monster. He's a demon(?) called a Clansmen. Being one is super convenient. You are born super smart. You get to live longer. You get to be pretty, but life gets complicated. The Clan is a secret. It runs like a professional sort of cult. Clan cops and doctors keep everything hushed up, and Clan politicians handle the bribes. Taeho is a piece of shit. His father was also a piece of crap, but Taeho's big brother is Leader. The leader of a huge Clansmen branch. Taegyung is a responsible and good monster guy. He's also kinda Taeho's father AND brother. The slow aging process creates alot of complex relationships. Taeho is spoiled. Everybody lets him do crime and shit because of Taegyung.

Taeho might be spoiled, but life with a brother for a dad kinda stinks. Taeho got married to please everybody. He married a perfect Clan princess, but then he killed her. Taeho is a member of the Seo branch. That means he's really powerful. So powerful that...um...when he takes a wife and has a baby said wife can go insane. His wife ATE his first child. He got angry and he ripped apart the princess. Everybody is blaming him, because he executed her without thinking about what her powerful family would do. He was a terrible husband. Her family wants his head on a plate in exchange for her death...which kinda is unfair. Her insanity wasn't really his fault...and she literally ate a baby, but he should have just captured her. Taeho was almost eaten by his mom as well...so um...yeah he was never going to be normal. Taeho and Taegyung get pressured to marry and have heirs near constantly, because they're so strong, despite the huge insanity risk.

I completely understand why this guy grew up into a bad guy, but he sucks.

He gaslights Jeongyeon. He hangs out at her place while he hides from the Clan that wants him dead. He has no idea how to be affectionate, and he treats Jeongyeon like garbage, even after he develops a crush on her.

Taegyung has to clean up Taeho's mess. Jeongyeon gets bitten. Taeho does it to punish her. To bind her to him and make her more submissive. Taegyung takes over and he does the Clan bond the proper way. Jeongyeon doesn't trust him at first, but they get along well. Taegyung doesn't want an heir because of the whole cannibal wife thing. He can't fully hate Taeho, because he should have never felt pressured to marry in the first place. He starts to realize his brother can't be saved when he gets to know Jeongyeon.

They share cigarettes. They're bonded so they feel some attraction...but nothing happens. Taegyung must marry a princess. He gets pestered about it daily. The bond doesn't mean they're married or anything. It just means Taegyung was the one who helped her body transform. Jeongyeon is prettier now and she's also rich. She gets an expense card, and Taegyung lets her leave.

The leader of the Yu Clan is still very angry. Jeongyeon suffers because she knows Taeho. Everybody assumes she's his mistress, just because Taeho didn't kill or eat her. Jeongyeon gets stalked by demons who want revenge. Taegyung doesn't hover too much, because he's worried. Being a Seo sucks. He feels immensely possessive of Jeongyeon. He tries to put duty first, and he doesn't actually want to lock her up in his mansion. He just gets the urge. It makes him feel like he's not himself.

This guy tries to kill Jeongyeon...but he's really nice. The dead princess was like a sister to him. He hates Taeho because he's a bastard that never gets punished for his crimes. In the end he protects Jeongyeon from Taeho. Taeho comes back acting like a brat right away. He demands to know why Jeongyeon bonded with his brother, which is a joke. He left her bleeding on the floor. The change would have killed her. Taegyung saved her life. Taeho made her a monster without permission, just to scare her into obeying him.

He's the most unattractive kind of yandere.

Jeongyeon eventually becomes strong enough to stand up to him on her own. She didn’t want this life. She didn’t want the money. She was just trying to rebuild after the long and painful death of her mother. Taeho made her life worse. Taegyung makes it better. The choice is obvious. Jeongyeon never wavers. She let Taeho crash on her couch because she was lonely, but no more. No more pity. She slaps him every time she meets him. She rejects the idea that abuse is love.

Chengcheng is the perfect Clan princess. She wants to marry Taegyung. She's been waiting since she turned twelve years old. She thinks she is entitled to him. She thinks Jeongyeon is just another pitiful pet project to Taegyung, just like his loser brother Taeho. She's wrong. Taegyung is getting worse by the day. He keeps fantasizing about hunting down Jeongyeon. That's just the way his bloodline is.

Taegyung starts to interfere more. He shows up whenever Jeongyeon is in trouble. He's clearly not willing to let Taeho drag her off and treat her like a pet. He wants to treat her like a princess. Everybody is shocked by how naive Jeongyeon is. She thinks Taegyung is a total gentleman, but his Clan knows he has spilled more blood than anyone else. I'm not saying he's not a nice guy. He's fair to humans and he tried his best to be a parent for Taeho, but now I think he's going to rip Taeho's face off.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #webtoon #Fly Me to the Moon

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icedragonlizard · 2 months

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Kirby AU talk: "Hope Within The Darkness"

Morpho Knight just about never brings anyone back from the dead, but he felt bad enough for someone to the point of being generous.

That someone being the Dark Matter Swordsman.

All dead dark matter exist in the afterlife's hades. DMS has, unfortunately, been horribly mistreated by Zero and the rest of the clan. Zero constantly blamed DMS for "getting the clan killed with his incompetence", and there have been numerous instances where he ordered the others in the clan to attack DMS for being a "failure".

DMS, of course, does not take well to this mistreatment, and he always tries to fight back, but keeps getting his butt kicked.

Upon observing this cruel spectacle, Morpho Knight began to feel bad. Especially when he learned that DMS just wanted a friend, but still can't even get it with the rest of the dark matter clan in hades.

Not just that, but nobody else in hades wanted to be his friend either. "Poor guy", Morpho Knight thinks, just keeps getting done dirty.

At least Sectonia and Max Haltmann are friends in the mortal plane.

Morpho Knight thinks this is rather too abhorrent of a fate, and gives DMS another chance. He drags DMS out of hades and, as something he'd most likely never do again, allows DMS to come back to life and wishes him good luck in finally finding a friend like he's long wanted.

DMS was grateful to Morpho Knight for doing this. During his time in hades, he finally began learning to say things like "be my friend!" and "can you be my friend?" but the rest of the dark matter clan had no interest in being his friend. However, as Morpho Knight ever so generously brings him back to life, he may finally have his chance.

As DMS gets brought back, he adopts the convenient alias Blade.

Popstar is his first destination. He's aware that he does not have good history with that planet, but he doesn't intend to cause problems again. He now just wants to try to ask for friends. He hopes that there will be people that are forgiving enough to be willing to be his friends.

He gets some luck early on. At the start, Blade becomes successful in making two friends: Kirby and Gooey. He encountered both of them strolling around in Dream Land, something they usually do.

Kirby is effectively unable to hold a grudge, as he's so easily forgiving. He was admittedly surprised to see Blade again, but once he saw the guy not wanting to be an enemy anymore and instead now wanting to be a friend, the pink puffball was glad to become Blade's friend.

Gooey is also unable to hold a grudge. He certainly did have issues with his kin in the past, but he was never really adamant about it, and he also mimics Kirby's behavior a lot by virtue of Kirby being an influence for him. He was more than willing to become friends with Blade. Both Blade and Gooey have been capable of finding solitude in being dark matter spawns that are no longer a part of the evil clan.

However, aside from those two friends, Blade's luck quickly shortens.

He was able to befriend Kirby and Gooey because they're so forgiving, but other people are not as easily forgiving. In fact, upon learning about Blade's return, a lot of people get nervous and uncomfortable. Some fear that Blade's return means that another dark matter invasion could be right around the corner to happen.

... He doesn't at all intend to do that. He just wants to make friends. But dark matter is one of the most infamous things in Popstar, and a lot of people have a very hard time trusting Blade upon his return.

King Dedede is the forefront of this. He's more distrustful of Blade than anyone else is, and feels especially uncomfortable around him. This is, of course, because he's been possessed by dark matter multiple times in the past, has had PTSD from it, and is very paranoid about the idea of getting possessed by dark matter for another time.

Dedede isn't usually much of a grudge holder. He forgave Magolor for the betrayal stuff, he forgave Taranza for the kidnapping and puppeteering stuff, and he even forgave Susie despite the HWC destroying his castle. But dark matter is different. Nothing has messed Dedede up as much as dark matter has. The first possession wasn't so bad, but the other two possession instances were traumatic for him. He underwent awful body horror from dark matter possessions. Dark matter learned to take advantage of the flaws he had back in the day. It painfully forced Dedede to change as a person.

The distrust for Blade upon his return doesn't end with Dedede. Other notable people in the cast are not trustful of Blade, either.

Bandana Waddle Dee and other waddle dees that serve Dedede are scared out of their minds when seeing Blade. Meta Knight is incredibly cautious and has his guard up. Adeleine is scared, since she's also a dark matter possession victim. Ribbon, while not as scared as Adeleine, is also nervous and distrustful as well upon learning about his return. The animal friends are all uncomfortable and nervous, too.

Some of them are terrified that he's going to hurt Gooey.

And unfortunately, Blade doesn't really help in easing their distrust. Despite wanting to make friends, he's... not very good at it. He doesn't really have the personality to be that good at making friends.

He's still got very, very grey morals going on at the start. He's still standoffish, rude, cold, brash, and is quick to respond with aggression when confronted. When people make their distrust clear to him, he perceives it as a threat. He thinks they're trying to take his friends away from him. And he's not willing to allow that to happen.

... He ends up getting into fights and arguments with people. Of course, it's largely based on misunderstandings, but this is not a great look for someone who was just trying to make friends at first.

He's going to need to change his behavior to be better at making friends. The good news is that Kirby is eager to help him out on that.

And eventually, Kirby isn't the only one to help him out.

For a little while, Blade has been unable to make anymore friends after Kirby and Gooey. But eventually, as he meets more of Kirby's friends, he does become able to make a third friend at one point.

The third friend that he makes is Magolor. Like many others, Magolor was wary and cautious at first, but he's been able to come around once he learned that Blade is merely just trying to make friends and realizes that the guy gets frustrated when met with confrontation.

Magolor knows what that's like, to an extent. He remembers when Meta Knight and Bandana Waddle Dee were still critical of him when he came back and apologized. It wasn't as quite as bad as what Blade is going through now, but he understands the struggle of being rejected when trying to make friends. It makes him want to help out.

He does believe that Blade needs changes to his personality, but he's glad to help him become a better person to make it easier to make more friends. He teaches Blade the concept of apologizing, something that Blade never knew about (it's not necessarily that he lacks remorse, he just didn't know how to make an apology beforehand).

Even when Blade becomes able to make apologies, some people are still uncomfortable and distrustful. Magolor, however, gives Blade some consolation and tells him to not feel bad when people don't forgive, as being friends with everyone isn't possible. And he tells him to not give up on his quest, and he's proud of the guy for being able to make any friends at all and gradually becoming better over time.

Magolor is quite helpful in this story. He eventually gets to consulting with some of his friends (Marx, Taranza, Susie, the mage sisters, etc.) to have them get to know Blade and if they can be friends with him. Right now, I won't disclose how successful Blade is at befriending those guys. Although I may do it in a separate post if someone comes to my inbox about it. Or if someone comes to my inbox about Blade's dynamics with all the dream friends in general. I could be willing to do that, just not on this synopsis if that makes sense.

Blade's got a big road ahead of him! He's got the right desire, just not the right personality and morals for it at first. It's clear that he's still in need of guidance. He's technically undergoing some kind of redemption of sorts, but it's a very slow and imperfect redemption.

But there's hope once the early friends that he makes are willing to help him out. There's a good chance that he'll be able to carve out a solid place for himself amongst Kirby's friends even if his reputation still isn't so great. Kirby himself seems glad to have Blade as a friend.

Let's wish Blade good luck as he continues his quest!

-----

That's it for the synopsis for this AU! Thank you so much if you've taken the time to read this. This is yet another AU that I've cooked up.

I really like the Dark Matter Swordsman. He's potentially within my top 10 favorite Kirby characters, maybe. The creation of this AU stems from that fact, as well as the fact that it was said in Dream Land 2's manual that the reason why he became evil is out of jealousy due to not having any friends, and that he literally didn't even know how to ask for friends. That's really interesting to me. In my opinion, that reeks of potential to make him a nuanced character of sorts.

In my normal headcanon universe, DMS is dead like the rest of the non-defective dark matter, so that's why this is an AU. I think this is a wonderful concept nonetheless. If you remember I made the poll "If you were allowed to add ONE more dream friend to Star Allies, who would you pick?" and I added the Dark Matter Swordsman as one of the poll's many options, because I thought it would've had potential! He didn't win the poll, as Prince Fluff did (congrats to him!) but I still like the idea of DMS becoming a friend to Kirby. Kirby is very forgiving, so I'm sure he'd be willing to be DMS' friend if he asked.

Allow me to link the other Kirby AUs that I've made synopses for: Dark Stormy Matters, a story where Kracko goes off the deep end and fuses with Dark Matter in a desperate attempt to finally get back at Kirby, and Memories Still At A Halt, a story where Susie revives her father by making a wish to a clockwork star, but it goes wrong as he still can't remember as his daughter, and she has to deal with that.

Thanks for reading! I'll see you all later.

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girlbossblackbeard · 10 months

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okay wwdits spoilers ahead for eps 1 and 2:

I have a couple theories about some things that are gonna happen/be revealed this season based off of these first two eps:

1) I think The Guide is the one that put the hex on Nadja in the hopes that she would finally be nicer to her but that's gonna backfire bc Nadja has now found "her people" in little antipaxos

2) I think Laszlo is lying to Nandor about being bad at hypnotism so that Nandor will realize he was actually totally able to hypnotize people really well all along, a-la Dumbo style. Otherwise, this would be a really weird ret-con for both Laszlo and Nandor considering we've literally seen Laszlo hypnotize people without a second thought and Nandor struggle to hypnotize cashiers

3) THIS IS A LONG ONE SORRY: Nandor is gonna go full jealous-boyfriend mode from Guillermo and Laszlo "hanging out" more (even tho they're just trying to rectify the Guillermo being turned by someone other than nandor situation) and THEN he's gonna feel betrayed and go EVEN MORE jealous boyfriend mode when he finds out about Guillermo being turned by someone that wasn't him. This will lead to a conversation where Guillermo will get the opportunity to tell nandor very seriously about how hard the past decade+ has been on him and how he felt like nandor was constantly leading him on (with changing him of course...def nothing else...). I kinda hope this comes during the Pride episode next week since the double entendre would be too good to pass up but I also kinda want this jealous dynamic to play out a little longer. I also think The Guide's comment about the crew not allowing her to live with them because 5 vampires in one house would allegedly violate a zoning code will be brought up again once it's finally revealed that Guillermo is a vampire. BUT I also think they could justify it by saying Colin Robinson is half a vampire since he can walk in the sun, eat human food, and doesn't have fangs just like Guillermo, so together they would actually make 1 whole vampire thus keeping their vampire crew number at 4. The math is mathing just trust me on this

#wwdits #wwdits spoilers #wwdits s5 #nandermo

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the-martyrfication-of-the-matron · 5 months

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Soooooo got any angst ideas about the destroyer is your rewrite ? Like him having nightmares or just being trapped in the nether wondering what happen to Irene ? Or his hatred towards the divine warriors even though he actually rightfully mad ?

I greatly appreciate the erasure of Shad's name when talking to me, its a dumbass name

anyways

TW, mentions of violence, using a slightly gory/graphic description to describe physical sensation, typical Shad-convo stuff

What is he if not my angsty boy? My angsty wife, that's what.

Anyways, so my baby, right, he's not got himself a physical form in the nether/the Shadow Abyss (it's just 'the abyss' in LR for aesthetic reasons, the girlies that get it, get it), due to him being like violently murdered to the point his physical body was no longer suitable for life. However, regardless of this, he experiences near-constant phantom pains from every injury he ever sustained, healed or otherwise. Also, being only his own shadow is a very... vulnerable-feeling experience. It would be equivalent to walking around without your skin on, all of your nerves and muscles exposed. Pain. Which provides one very good motivation for someone to, idk, try and gain a physical form to try and stop the agony of your existence. which could lead him to redemption in a very 'i did what i had to in order to survive, just like everyone else' way, but.... idk, i dont know if i want to redeem him. I like how not-a-good-person he is.

Judgement (suprisingly a canon name for him, his actual name in my rewrite, because he's the OG edgelord) is plagued near-constantly with visions. Every Divine has visions of some sort, whether they're clairvoyant, or prophecies, or something. Judge's specifically are of... like... destruction. End of days, mass murders, wars, etc. it's his domain but it doesn't make it any easier to see them. It also means he dreams of his own death on a frequent basis. not fun for him.

Also, he's pretty sure he knows what happened to Irene, he was married to her for a very long time, he knew the kind of person she was. She banished him under the guise of ending all evil, and left to keep up that ruse instead of doing her duty to stay and protect people. He does think about it often, very very annoyed about it. It's another thing that leads him to do what he does. He's wondering just how many people have to die before she's willing to set aside her pride and face him. He never self-reflects on how many people have to die before he's willing to set aside his hatred.

He's spiteful towards the other divine, but he doesn't hate them, not like he hates Irene. I mean he does hate them... just kind of not as much as Irene. The others he expected to turn against him eventually, because his nature was always unfavourable, but she was meant to be his equal, they were both equally as destructive as each other (ironically).

A lot of his existence is more physically painful, he's able to cope with the visions and the bad memories, and the thoughts of 'what if' in his mind by channelling it all into anger, but things start slowly derailing upon him and Aphmau/Avra's first contact, and he doesn't understand why until he realises who she is. From there, he is the mayor of Angst town, population however-many-mcd-characters-exist.

#aphmau #aphverse #rewrite #aphblr #minecraft diaries #mcd #ranthredo #lycoris radiata/ranthredo #shad the pussy destroyer #i really should retire that tag... anyway

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krikeymate · 1 year

Note

heyyyy, how are you?

so, for the mother's day (and the foster this love au), what about sam and tara having the greatest day, doing all the things together and at night, when tara is going to sleep, she calls sam "mom" without noticing? and sam is like 😭😭

The first time Sam hears Tara call her mom, she's bleeding out on the kitchen floor. She thinks she must have been imagining it, blood loss will probably make you hear all kinds of things. Stuff got pretty hectic after that, and Sam forgets about it. She doesn't hear Tara say it again.

After 7 months of being too nervous to leave the house, Tara wakes her up one Sunday morning, earlier than she'd like on her day off, and asks to go to the zoo. Sam would have said yes anyway, overjoyed that Tara is ready to take that step and move forward with everything that happened, but the fact she brought Sam breakfast in bed makes sure she agrees without pretending to complain about it first. Tara looks so nervous, constantly fidgeting with her hands. Sam doesn't want to scare her off the idea.

So they go to the zoo. Sam's a little concerned that Tara's pushing herself too far, and wonders why now, as she sticks to Sam's side, hand squeezing hers tightly. She's shaking slightly as she eyes all the people around them.

"Hey, so what d'ya wanna see first, the wolves?" She asks, nudging Tara, hoping to distract her. Tara loves wolves, Sam knows she'd never pass up an oppor- Tara shakes her head. "Hyenas," she declares, scanning the park map for a moment before pulling Sam off in the direction of the hyena enclosure. "Huh," Sam mumbles to herself, a little confused as she lets her lead her away by the hand.

"Y'know, hyenas are my favourite animal," Sam says in a faux-whisper, like she's revealing some grand secret. "I know," Tara responds simply, like it was obvious knowledge. It leaves Sam speechless as she tries to figure out how Tara could know that. She's never talked about her favourite animal before... has she? No, no, she's certain.

"And do you know why they're my favourite?" Sam questions, a laugh in her voice as they watch a mother play with her cubs. She's always impressed by Tara's observation skills. "They're pack animals, like wolves," Tara answers, "but the females are in charge. They're fast, and clever, and often misunderstood and misrepresented. Like you."

Sam's a little stunned by Tara's response, and more than a little touched. She blinks back tears. "You forgot one thing," Sam declares. Tara frowns up at her, doubt in her expression, "what?" "I like their spots," Sam says, tapping Tara on the nose in a way that never fails to make her giggle. "They're just like your freckles, adorable."

It's a long day, Tara taking Sam to see every animal she thinks Sam must like (and she's right, much to Sam's amazement). "Look, they're just like us," Sam announces, waving their held hands together at the otters floating past paw-in-paw. By the time they get ice cream, Sam's favourite flavour, and have Sam's favourite food for lunch, she begins to wonder if she's done something to make Tara think she feels bad or that she's having a hard time.

She can't imagine what, she thinks she's been doing pretty well, given... all that happened. It weighs on Sam, seeing Tara get steadily more stressed as the day goes on, watching the way she tries to hide it from her so they can stay a little longer.

By the time they get home, they're exhausted, and arm-in-arm with two new stuffed toy hyenas for their pack. Little sam is sleeping on the two stuffed wolves that sit atop Sam's dresser, and is delighted at the chance to scent mark the new additions.

After their evening routine, Sam flops back onto her bed, Tara cuddling into her side, yawning. "Did you have a good day," Tara mumbles into Sam's neck. "I had the best day," Sam proclaims, closing her eyes, "just like any day with you." Tara hums into her neck. "Thasgood," she slurs, beginning to fall asleep, "love you, mom."

Sam's eyes snap open. Oh.

#/mp #ask box #Scream #Sam Carpenter #Tara Carpenter #my writing tag #AU: foster this love make me whole again #funnily enough the timeline for this actually matches up to this exact day #so i think realistically hyenas and wolves would probably be in the same general area. but for the purposes of this fic. they're not.#did some reading about hyenas and now i know more than i ever wanted to know about their s*x organs. so. thanks for that.

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imagine-knb · 6 months

Note

What shoujo trope do you think the UK+Mayuzumi+Nijimura would be?

I wasn't sure if you meant what type of trope they would be in, if they were in a shojo manga. Or what type of "guy" they would be, if they were in a shojo manga... I went with the first option. Admin Neon

Kiyoshi — childhood friends to lovers

it's the type of friendship where, even when Kiyoshi was in diapers, his grandparents were saying he would be marrying that friend one day

which makes it so much more dramatic when he ends up dating (and breaking up with) Riko in high school, because everyone thought they knew who Kiyoshi liked

when he eventually does get together with his childhood friend, their relationship gives off the vibes that nothing has changed between them at all (except they kiss and stuff now)

Mibuchi — pretty popular boy and disinterested reader

due to his position on the basketball team and his overall good looks in general, Mibuchi was always orbited by a crowd who wanted nothing but to please him; he didn't necessarily like people fawning over him however

sincehe's not actually into all the praise he gets, he finds himself gravitating more toward people who don't seem to want to give him the time of day

this includes the cute classmatwho just shoulder checked him without so much as a sorry

Nebuya — strong guy saving the damsel

he wasn't looking for love when he saved the pedestrian from walking into oncoming traffic; he hadn't even realized they were his age when he grabbed onto their shoulder

Nebuya isn't actually ecstatic when the person he saved ends up falling for him and, unlike traditional shojo, will try to rationalize with the person

they're determined however and he eventually ends up falling for them as well; he like a persistant person who works for what they want

Hayama — opposites attract

Hayama has a bright and loud personality, which is why he needs a calmer partner to balance him out. he didn't expect to fall for the quiet, reserved person in his class; it just happened

the beginning of the relationship is full of him trying to pull his partner out of their shell faster than they're comfortable with

he's going to learn a lot about different types of personalities and that it's okay to not be as outgoing as he is; sometimes it's good to just sit back and smell the roses

Mayuzumi — enemies to lovers

there weren't many people in his life that Mayuzumi let get close to him; in fact, the amount of people on his bad side was a much longer list

he's the type to constantly complain about the same person annoying him every single day, but the moment that person is gone, he's looking for them

it takes him a long time to redefine what he feels for that person as love instead of intense hatred

Hanamiya — slow burn fake dating

I personally don't see Hanamiya as the type to actively go looking for love, but when his mom eventually starts asking him when he's going to start dating? well, he might just go out and find someone stupid enough to fake it with him

it's toxic and he actually doesn't try very hard to please his partner, but somewhere along the way he finds himself relying on them more

he's not going to admit he's in love until way after the break up, but depending on where he is in his growth, he may or may not ask for a second chance

Nijimura — rekindled love

Nijimura dropped a lot of things he loved when his father became sick, including his lover. it was toxic, there was a lot of crying and yelling

it's not until years later when they reunite that those feelings crop back up again

the relationship is slow, tender in the way that small issues could break it again if they're not careful, but he's willing to double down in order to make it work

#kiyoshi #mibuchi #nebuya #mayuzumi #hayama #hanamiya #nijimura #uk #admin neon really wants to write the most toxic vile slow burn romance for hanamiya #like really badly

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popawritter12 · 6 months

Text

"More than 100"

Yandere! Caitlyn Kiramman headcanons

〜(^∇^〜）〜(^∇^〜）〜(^∇^〜）〜(^∇^〜）

ΣFirst impression

It's quite simpler; You moved to Piltover or you already lived there, and joined Caitlyn and Vi in keeping the peace in Piltover, whether for money or personal reasons.

ΣFall in love

At first, depending on your attitude, you can get along better with Vi or Caitlyin, and if in the end you end up getting along better with Vi or her, it is the closeness they can have that determines their transformation into a Yandere. . .

ΣBeginning of "Yanderism"

He starts being jealous of Vi or Jayce, although she denies it, it's true. And he starts trying to flirt with you, but it doesn't go very well...

Although it depends on whether or not you reciprocate their hints because of how confusing they can be.

ΣFirst murder

It's accidental, believe it or not.

I see that at first, when she kills someone she considered "dangerous" to you or someone else, she panics, a lot.

Then she denies that she did it with bad intentions, she tries to convince herself that she did the right thing, and refuses to accept anything else.

ΣRelationship or kidnapping

After other "accidental deaths" of "dangerous people", she ends up declaring her love for you, so one of two things happens;

-You accept; Good thing, now you can at least keep your partner more "calm", who is slowly beginning to let himself be consumed by the unhealthy idea that it is right to protect you at all costs.

-You do not accept; No, you're not going to reject her. She won't let you do it. Her mind will end up breaking, she is no longer Caitlyin, now she is just a woman who is capable of anything to have you in her arms. She will kill anyone who tries to keep them away, and she will lock you up if necessary.

ΣCoexistence

She's pretty good: she's affectionate, kind, and the relationship they can form is quite nice if you don't resist her in any way.

ΣMarriage and family

I don't think she will opt for marriage head-on: she will take her time, and in fact I think she will choose to wait for you to do it before she takes the reins and proposes to you.

But, if we talk about when she has you kidnapped, we can say that she will already think that you are married, she will hate every moment in which you refuse to call her or address her as your wife.

↘Childrens?

Yes, I'm not saying many, but sooner than later she will encourage you to start a family between the two of you.

ΣBad ending

Suppose that apart from her kidnapping you, she resorts to treating you nice and like her husband, but you resist and treat her like shit --- I mean EXTREME shit ----, she will slowly look for other options: Torture? Abuse? Stockholm syndrome? She is already investigating all the ways to subdue you. Worst case scenario... she'll resort to drugging you. And I mean she will use the most exacting drugs to slowly make you believe that she is your lifelong fucking girlfriend and that you are destined to meet in this life, and the next, and the others to come.

〜(^∇^〜）〜(^∇^〜）〜(^∇^〜）

Reasons to be a Yandere:

-The loss of the most important people in her life such as her parents can make her think that you are the only thing she has as "Yanderism" develops.

-As sheriff, she constantly worries and watches over the lives and safety of other people. What if she has a favorite when it comes to thinking about someone's safety?

-She lives in constant fear that Jinx or some crazy person --- preferably from Zaun --- will harm you or seek to do something worse to you, She is too afraid that you will get hurt!

-She tends to mistrust the people around her, so if she develops complete trust in you, you will be special in many ways.

〜(^∇^〜）〜(^∇^〜）〜(^∇^〜）〜(^∇^〜）

Extra things:

-She's not much for physical contact, she's more for words of confirmation and affectionate nicknames when they're alone.

-She likes cooking, so we can say that if you have... B̶a̶d̶ b̶e̶h̶a̶v̶i̶o̶r̶ she can resort to... u̶s̶e̶ d̶r̶u̶g̶s̶ i̶n̶ y̶o̶u̶

-In case the kidnapping takes place, you will most likely stay in a room a̶ l̶i̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ a̶w̶a̶y̶ a̶n̶d̶ h̶i̶d̶e̶n̶ from people.

-O̶r̶ u̶n̶d̶e̶r̶g̶r̶o̶u̶n̶d̶

-Not to flatter o̶r̶ s̶c̶a̶r̶e̶ you, but she has a "special place" in one of her rooms where there is a little-a lot of information about you.

A̶c̶t̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ i̶s̶ f̶u̶l̶l̶ o̶f̶ i̶m̶a̶g̶e̶s̶ a̶n̶d̶ p̶e̶r̶s̶o̶n̶a̶l̶ i̶n̶f̶o̶r̶m̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ o̶f̶ y̶o̶u̶, y̶o̶u̶r̶ f̶a̶m̶i̶l̶y̶ a̶n̶d̶ f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶s̶

〜(^∇^〜）〜(^∇^〜）〜(^∇^〜）〜(^∇^〜）

Another update!

The truth is, I liked this Caitlyn Yandere, so well, I'll see how I continue updating.

〜(^∇^〜）〜(^∇^〜）〜(^∇^〜）〜(^∇^〜）

#yandere #obsessive love #lol #yandere league of legends #league of legends #yandere headcanons #yandere x you #yandere female #caitlyn kiramman #league of legends caitlyn #caitlyn

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hypermascbishounen · 2 months

Note

Interesting that you point out how babied Lenore was in S4, because

yes, she was. She was written like such an immature brat, making stupid jokes and constantly whining that she was so boooored and no one needed her anymore and oh no she's so scawed of mean cawmiwwa 🥺 and it feels disingenuous, no I'm sorry I get that the context is different but the Lenore who cries that Carmilla lied to her is not the Lenore who was able to gaslight Hector into believing that actually he was lucky that he was beaten and imprisoned.

this is yet another way her character got disrespected, if you care about her. Remember, the other council vampires clearly had a poor opinion of Lenore. Carmilla made fun of her for her tendency to take care of animals, Striga implied that she saw her as a hopeless romantic, Morana talked about her like a silly little girl living in her fantasies. And the most charitable explanation as to why Lenore snapped and beat Hector to an inch of his life when he threatened her is precisely that he, too, saw her as a young defenseless girl: to be fair, would he have thought to attack any of the other three? Probably not. And Lenore clearly resents this situation so much, which is why he beat him way past self defense, which is why she had fun dominating him, which is why she was eager to humiliating him in front of her sisters, who both admired her for her genius and were disgusted by her sexual comments (a way to keep the control of the conversation)

I like this idea. Both Hector and Lenore are the "weak link" of their group, looked down on for their apparent "softness", but while Hector apparently didn't know, didn't realize or didn't care (if the writing was good, I could say that it's because he lived a life of abuse so he doesn't realize his own worth), Lenore very much did, and she rebounded too far in the opposite direction. Her kindness can almost be seen as a subtle way to feel powerful, more subtle than simply beating people into submission: sure, taking care of someone is a nice act... but also, they depend on you, and they're more malleable to your wishes.

So yeah, from this perspective, her constant 🥺 face in S4 is infantilizing an abuser. Lenore did nothing wrong. She always wanted to protect Hector, really. He was having fun when she manipulated him into sex, so what's the big deal. They are such good friends who understand each other. Of course Hector would love her and protect her with barely a second thought. Who wouldn't? An evil person? But they're so cute together 🥺

(btw, I'm interested to know who is the other Beatrice you mentioned lol! As for the Sugarman one, she is such a fascinating character who is so, so pitiable for what happened to her, but still not woobiefied for the horrible way she took her misery on her innocent son)

(also sorry for the ask lol, I didn't want to make a long post longer than it already is)

(no worries, feel free to send asks or messages! I always have more to say than I know what yo do with lol)

The other Beatrice is from Umineko, a series of murder mystery visual novels in the wider When They Cry series. She's hard to describe without spoilers tbh, but relevant atm: she can be a real smug sadist while still containing genuine tragedy, and her relationships get to actually mean something. Here she is expressing true opinions about nfcv:

I feel like a Lenore whose loss of humanity was allowed to be explored as a legit Dracula parrelel, could have almost been interesting. Oh well.

The biggest issue imo, is that she can't really exist as a character without Hector, but the story itself feels threatened by Hector being a character compared to her. This means that no matter how much they try to build her up by contrast, she gets dragged down anyways. So now all they have is two ruined characters for the price of one.

Personally, I think maybe the catharsis granted from a character who does bad things, is only as good as the work lets you engage with them on that premise. If you keep dragging it back to how they're basically in the right anyways, it can lose the emotional opportunity for the audience to explore dark feelings. This doesn't mean you can't write them to be sympathetic ever, but it does mean they risk falling into a weakened power fantasy or cheap fanservice, if you effectively just preach to the audience about how cool they are, esp at the expense of other characters.

#anti netflixvania #Idk how well im articulating that last point #I may be tired lol

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caterkinnie · 2 years

Note

hello! may I request 3, 8, 20 with Floyd and Rook? thank you if you took up my request! have a lovely day or whatever time you have rn ❤️❤️❤️ congrats on 200 followers 🎉🎉

3, 8 and 20 Floyd Leech and Rook Hunt!

❥warnings: very messy. some parts are longer than others.

congrats, lucky anon! i got extremely inspired writing this, so have some incredibly messy headcanons. theyre all over the place and at some point its just me info-dumping about said characters, my dearest apologies.

also trying to be more aEstHetIc for my own viewing pleasure and i think it looks good?

3. How does he behave around his crush?

Floyd is quick to fixate on something that catches his attention, and you aren't the exception.

At first you might believe he just loves messing with you, and he thinks the same actually! He's not aware of his crush on you for quite a long time actually.

Whenever he's bored he might just go to look for you to tease you and see what kind of funny reactions you'll give him! — And at the slightest hint of you hating him his mood will drop for reasons he doesn't understand.

There are some things that give him away.

He might be in the worst mood ever, but just seeing you around makes him feel instantly better. Jade and Azul constantly ask for your help to 'fix him' when he's feeling down — They're the first ones to notice his obvious crush for this same reason.

Even if he IS in a bad mood — he always finds the energy and motivation to help you if you need him.

The way he's overly protective of you. Nobody is allowed to mess with you except him!

And sometimes your real name will slip out of his mouth. No he doesn't find it weird to call you by your name. Why are you so surprised?

He's also like a puppy following you around sometimes, it starts as just wanting to tease you a bit — but then as the weeks go on you start to see him more and more often, to the point where the majority of time you aren't in class Floyd is probably either with you or looking for you.

He slowly becomes such an important part of your life that it becomes weird when he's not with you for a few hours.

And yeah… Still, he accepts his feelings as just something normal and doesn't think much of it — he doesn't question his relationship with you at all.

At this point, there are two things that might happen to make him confess. Jade and Azul have to make an intervention (Azul takes it completely seriously while Jade just wants to see how things will go) because Floyd keeps sneaking out from work to see you. The point is to convince him to confess in hopes of fixing the problem.

Or… He might kiss you out of impulse too.

He was alone with you, you were probably talking about your day and… his mind was elsewhere — it was clear he wasn't paying attention to what you were saying, he was too distracted with your lips. His brain just told him "I want to kiss shrimpy" and he did not question it.

∘₊· · ────── ·ஓ๑♡๑ஓ· ────── · ·₊∘

Rook is… complicated.

Like Floyd, tends to fixate on whatever catches his eye — but he's more subtle about it.

Rook will notice instantly the way his heart beats a bit faster when hearing your voice, or the way his stomach starts to feel butterflies when you smile at him.

Yes, he does often… obsess over specific people, but this time is different — he doesn't consider you a prey (at least not JUST a prey) and while he does still 'hunt' for you his intentions are different..

Whenever you interact with him, you might think Rook just started to think of you just like he thinks of someone like Leona or Malleus — if you don't know him you won't be able to tell the difference. And that's fine! Only a few can tell.

Rook loves to read you poems in french that convey all his feelings for you, he knows you can't understand him… but that's the point! He loves doing things that border the line of friendship and love, like kissing you in the cheek a bitt close to the lips, or saying some things that sound a bit too cheesy to be just platonic love. And since it's Rook, it's hard to tell!

He's always giving you mixed signals and finds it amusing when you're trying to figure out what he means.

Everyone who knows him closely (Vil) thinks his crush for you is incredibly obvious. Unfortunately for Vil, he can understand french — which means he can understand the poems Rook writes for you. This is bad for him because they always make him cringe due to how cheesy they are and always ALWAYS lets out a sigh afterwards because you are completely clueless and it's so frustrating he just wants you two to get together already.

Rook secretly wishes you try to translate his poems. He wants to see how you'd react to finding out what he meant! it would be funny if you did understand french and just acted like you didn't to see how long he'll keep giving you poems

His confession is probably extremely cheesy, with him gifting you flowers and translating all his poems, asking you out when he's finished.

8. Is he possessive, jealous..?

Floyd here!

∘₊· · ────── ·ஓ๑♡๑ஓ· ────── · ·₊∘

Rook isn't a jealous person, but he can be quite possessive.

I mentioned before that some of the boys were possessive with your attention — Rook is like that as well!

But unless it is too bad and you're almost blatantly ignoring him — he'll just… try to get your attention by either flirting with you or scaring the person you were talking to away. We all know how unsettling Rook can be.

And when he wants your attention he NEEDS IT and is willing to do anything to get it.

He's also very protective.

Whenever you're talking to someone he always ends up putting his hand on your waist or holding your hand. It's an instinct, he won't notice if you don't point it out.

Overall slightly possessive and isn't aware of it.

20. How do you make him fall for you?

Floyd would fall for someone who is both interesting and patient with him.

It always starts as him trying his best to mess with you, and if you give him interesting reactions then he's probably not going to stop!

But in all seriousness, whether you always have a comeback for his words or you basically can't handle his teasing at all for any reason — if you genuinely do get mad at him then it will stay as just that: teasing.

Show him that you care, the first time he might feel butterflies is when you try to uplift his mood — a feeling that at first he might not recognize, but whatever it is, he starts craving it desperately.

It's the fact that you care, the way you treat him and how you take him seriously. The way you don't just say "it's just a mood swing" and leave him alone, it's just… the way you actually have enough patience with him to try to help him.

Floyd has been told so many times that his brother is better than him in some way or another, and even if he does not hold this against Jade — it still hits hard nevertheless. While he might not say it out loud, he loves the feeling of someone liking him more than his brother for once.

Patience again, because he's slowly realizing his feelings — he doesn't know what is the nice feeling in his chest when he makes you smile, but he likes it a lot. Floyd needs time to understand what's going on and yeah, it takes a long time until he actually realizes.

∘₊· · ────── ·ஓ๑♡๑ஓ· ────── · ·₊∘

I actually wrote something similar for Rook before but I love him so…

This is insanely hard actually — he's the hunter of love and all but… it's incredibly weird for him to actually fall for someone.

He doesn't have any specific type, which makes things harder. You just have to stand out… but what's the criteria?

Alright, you might be the most interesting person on earth but still, he might just see you as another prey and nothing more. But there are a few things, and yes, simple as they might sound — they become harder due to the kind of person Rook is.

It always starts with him getting slightly interested in you. As I said, you have to stand out (even if it's just a bit) it's the easiest way! You don't have to do much, the whole 'be yourself' thing is literal.

But he might be even more interested if you don't seem to dislike him in your first encounter. He might want to see how far he can go to see the way you react!

It's a slow process, but as time goes he genuinely starts to appreciate you.

But this is how you can become friends with him! There's some other things you have to do.

As I said, he's very complex, and he prides himself on that fact. But that doesn't mean he's completely unpredictable.

Like I mentioned in my old post, something that gets his heart pumping is whenever you're able to guess something about him. Whether it's something small as just being able to tell whenever he's saying something just to mess with you or telling whenever something makes him upset or mad — he loves it. He tends to hide even the smallest stuff so he loves whenever you're able to see right through him.

Well… if it was someone else, Rook wouldn't be as pleased.

As I said, he prides himself in being someone people struggle to understand — after all, being vulnerable means you could get hunted, but you're already past that stage. He trusts you, so even if it's a weird feeling for him… he starts to enjoy the idea of being known.

The moment he starts to genuinely fall for you is when he feels able to be vulnerable, to let you know tiny bits about him — slowly letting you into his heart.