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ihavethedreamies · 1 month

Text

Heat | Wonwoo

Jeon Wonwoo - Seventeen

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~8.7k

Pairing: Wonwoo x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Sci-Fi AU!, Reader-Insert, Fluff, Smut, Acquaintances-to-Lovers, This One Actually Has Plot

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Minor Background Character Gets Shot (Wow! Plot), Pet Names (Pretty, Pretty Girl, Princess, etc.), Daddy Kink (oops), Swearing, Kissing, Oral (F! Receiving), Wall Sex, Marking/Biting, Unprotected Sex (Use a condom!)

Author's Note: This one has way more actual story than Hoshi's and Woozi's. Wonwoo tends to need time to warm up to people, so I didn't feel like I should do a quick one-night stand deal with him. So, I wrote in some story so he and the reader weren't total strangers.

-> Hoshi's <-

-> Woozi's <-

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other site. Happy reading!

"You have GOT to be kidding me…" You grumbled, huffing a few harsh breaths, and trying again. There was something stuck under the sand, and you really wanted to see if it was worth anything. However, every time you got close to brushing enough sand from the surface to see the logo, a gust of wind would cover it back up again. Adjusting your head covering over your mouth again so you got no sand in your mouth, you also brushed off your goggles of the fine particles sticking to it. You were starting to work up a sweat, the blowing dust and sand mixed with the perspiration and was coating you in a horribly scratchy paste. Whatever was under the sand was big, and that was what you were looking for. However, you really needed to determine the make and model of the crashed ship to determine if it was worth reporting for salvage.

"Finally!" You groaned, getting the metal brushed clean. You quickly snapped a photo with your holo-tracker, the blue paint still relatively solid, enough to identify. The device spun, trying to connect to the extranet and you clicked your tongue as it took for seemingly forever.

"What?!" You swore multiple times when the device flashed, 'no results found'. Maybe you could show it to someone at the Assembly office that would know something. You already had a few pictures and coordinates of a few smaller wrecks you could report, but they probably wouldn't grant very many credits. This thing was huge though, so at least the scrap metal would be worth something. Another blast of wind nearly knocked you over as you stood back up, trying to climb out of the small crater to get back to your rover. The crappy thing about wrecks on Sierra-Vector-Tango, since the entire planet was a desert, is that they were quickly covered by sand; even if they created massive craters when they fell to the surface. However, that meant more money for finding salvage than some other planets. Bad thing? Sand worms. Their saliva got into the particles and could make it acidic, which made digging through the sand more dangerous. This, once again, caused the number of credits to be higher.

"Let’s go back for now." You jerked back with your whole body weight as you pulled the handle for the door of your rover. It finally opened and you huffed, throwing the end of your head scarf aggressively to wrap it around your neck better. Crawling up and into your rover, you rested back in the seat, trying to catch your breath. Pressing the button to start the vehicle it roared to life and the air conditioning flared to life and you just sat in the cooling air for a few minutes.

"Water!" You gasped dramatically, grabbing your canteen from the passenger seat, and drinking so aggressively the liquid spilled out of your mouth some.

"For fuck's sake…" You groaned hard, the water mixing with the layer of sand on your skin, thickening it.

"I need a real shower, with water." Shifting the gear of the rover, you started to drive back to the main road so you could start heading to the nearest Assembly office. It would be about an hour to Drent, and a little under two for Jaron, but you really didn't like going to Drent. Not only did it have the name of some dude-bro fuck boy, but it was also full of them too. Drent had one of the biggest…adult establishments in that quadrant. Not only did they have sexy blue alien ladies dancing on tables, but it also allowed you to sleep with them. Last time you went you nearly got mugged, and the guy just wanted your underwear. No thank you. Jaron was farther away, but a much nicer place and had a very old-style diner reminiscent of Terra from the 1950s. It was cool to go somewhere that was reminiscent of a time over two-hundred years in the past. Plus, they had a hotel with real water showers instead of the air-blasting kind that was more common. It would be more expensive, but worth it.

"This time I wanna rock with you~" You sang along to the song playing over the speakers, drumming your hands on the steering wheel of your rover as you got back to the main road. Turning right to go north toward Jaron, you set the auto-pilot on and plugged in the town, sitting back to watch the view as your rover drove itself. When you could start to see the sign for the town, you shut the auto-drive off and took control again. Large vehicles like yours weren't allowed in the city proper, so when you reached the entry checkpoint, you pulled off to the side and got out. The sun was setting, nearly below the horizon, stars starting to twinkle in the night sky. Getting out of the rover, you slammed the door as hard as you could to get it to shut and went around to the back. Grabbing your big pack and smaller bag, you also had a make-shift safe that you kept smaller salvage pieces in. You let it fall to the sandy ground with a thud and jumped back out. Keying in the code on the side, the rover beeped as it locked, and you headed to the entry booth.

"How old is your rover?" The kid at the booth was at the most eighteen, and his condescending tone was completely unnecessary.

"Doesn't matter." You tried not to steer, slapping your credit chit on the counter and he slotted it into the console. He really had no room to talk, his setup was just as old if not more so than you rover. Sliding the chit back out, he grabbed a small holo-disc and let the machine stamp it with the time and date.

"Thank you." You emphasized with fake kindness, and he rolled his eyes as he let you into the town. You let the parking disc fall into your bag along with your credit chit and started to head down the road. Your 'safe' was basically a suitcase that you made more secure and added a few locks to, so you could roll it behind you. The wheels thunked over the creases of the pavement and you wondered why the town was so dead. At that time, most people would be milling about after supper and going to bars and such. As you passed a store, you saw a sign blinking on the glass advertising some kind of political rally, must be where everyone was at. At least the hotel was still being manned, though you weren't sure the old man behind the counter was even still alive.

"Hello, dearie." He smiled up at you, wrinkles so prominent his eyes nearly disappeared.

"Hello, sir. Can I get a single room for…" You thought, sucking air through the side of your mouth in thought, "how much is four nights?"

"At 250 credits a night, that would be about a thousand…If you stay one more night, I will keep it that price?"

"Sweet! Thanks!" You smiled back, digging through your bag to look for the chit once again. It was a bit pricier than you normally liked, but it was worth it to get a shower with water.

"A single bed, yes?"

"Yes, sir."

"I think we only have two-bed rooms…this one is two singles, does that work?"

"Sure!"

"Water shower?"

"Please~" You groaned, and he chuckled.

"It is quite slow today for the rally, so I do not think any restaurants are delivering…" The old man worked faster than you thought he would and when he slid the chit back to you, he included the room key. It looked like a glass playing card and had the room 24H-13 on it.

"It will be the second floor, take a right to the fourth hall, then its room thirteen." The old man smiled, and you thanked him, heading for the elevator, the wheels whirling on the tile floor. Once you got to the room and inside, you put everything in the room hastily before dashing into the bathroom. After relieving yourself, you shed the extremely sandy clothes and you noticed what looked like an old-style clothes dryer in the corner. It only had two settings, one of which was covered with a piece of tape and the handwritten words, ‘FOR SAND,' on it.

"Perfect." You shrugged and shoved all of your clothes in the drum, shutting the door, and letting it spin and get rid of the dust and grit.

"Oh~" You hummed in delight when you saw the water heating panel on the wall. You plugged in the best temperature and the water immediately came out perfect. Standing under the spray, you stood for nearly ten minutes just letting the water flow over your tired body. Glancing up at the shower head, you clicked your tongue in annoyance, it was fixed on the wall without a hose…

"Need to find a guy…" you grumbled and then proceeded to actually wash up. The soaps and cleansers all smelled of Terra fruits and you wondered what they might taste like. Getting out of the shower nearly an hour later, you wrapped a towel around yourself and your hair, heading back to the main room of the hotel. Flopping onto the bed, your stomach rumbled loudly, and you sighed dramatically. No delivery…The only place that was probably open was the diner and luckily it was right next door to the Assembly office in the strip mall. It was always open since the employees of the Assembly would eat there most of the time, but they never delivered anyway. When your skin finally no longer felt wet or sticky, you put on your set of spare clothes and grabbed your smaller bag.

"Sandy." you mumbled, going back to the bathroom, taking your now sand-free clothes out. Taking everything out of your bag and setting it on top of the machine, you put your bag in to get the sand off and while you waited, put your boots back on. As it continued, you brushed your hair out and braided it again. Looking at your face, you had a slight tan line from your goggles, but it was nearly unnoticeable thanks to your head scarf covering most of the rest of your face. The machine dinged and you retrieved the satchel, putting everything back and making sure you had your chit and keycard, you left the hotel room to go get supper. Waving to the old man at the desk, you dashed out to the street and jogged down the sidewalk. The rally was still going, you could hear the shouting and cheers in the distance. Must have been a more local election or campaign because you didn't recognize the politician on the flyer. Most of the store fronts were closed, even as you turned the corner to get to the main street. In the distance, you saw the light pouring out of the windows of the Assembly office and the diner, shining like a beacon among the darkened stores surrounding it. Like a good child, you looked both ways before you crossed the road, despite there not being anything or anyone nearby. The doors slid open when you approached the office and the guy behind the counter looked up lazily from where he was counting something at the desk.

"Can I help you?" He sounded very tired. You dug in your bag once again and pulled out your credit chit as well as your ID so he could see you were a legit scavenger, but also a freelancer. Freelancers actually tended to get more money than their own employees because they didn't have to pay benefits and all that other stuff.

"I'll let the Salvage Officer know you're here." The guy handed you your stuff back and you went to sit in the empty waiting area. Tapping your toe on the floor, you could look into the entrance of the diner through the windows and door inside the office. There was only one or two customers inside and just one waitress. There was a guy sitting in the back corner, thin glasses perched on the end of his nose as he read. A paper book? Who had physical books anymore?

"(Y/N)." Your name was called by a familiar voice, and you smiled at the owner.

"Junmyeon!" He motioned with his head, and you followed him into his personal office.

"Didn't know you were working here now." You sat in front of his desk, and he chuckled, relaxing back into his office chair.

"I just transferred. What have you found?" He took the holo-tracker from you when you handed it over and plugged it into his console.

"Most of them are small…" You dimpled the corner of your mouth, looking at the monitor the best you could from your angle. He shifted the screen so you could see better, and you pointed to different marks and gave more details.

"What one is this?" He was looking at the blue logo and you shrugged.

"I have no idea; it was huge though. Looked like a Meteor-class size ship, maybe bigger. It was totally covered and left a huge crater." You emphasized with hand motions, and he panned the picture out to get the measurements before he tapped the logo so the computer could analyze it. As it spun you dug through your bag, looking to see if you had lip balm or something. You didn't notice your business friend simply watching you, more like staring. His eyes flashed to your lips as you painted the balm on your lips with your ring finger. When the console dinged, it brought both of your attention back to the machine.

"Oh, wow." He leaned in to read the information.

"I need to make some calls, can you come back in a few hours?" He looked at you and you nodded, standing.

"I can grab something to eat in the meantime!" You waved goodbye and didn't even notice when he tried to call after you. Heading back to the front of the office, you went to the door leading to the diner and the door slid open with a ding.

"Just you, girlie?" The older waitress called from behind the counter, and you nodded, going to sit at said counter.

"What can I get for you?" she asked, sassily chewing her gum. You looked over the menu and made your choice, pulling out your holo-tracker to play a game as you waited for your food. You glanced over to the back corner over your shoulder, looking at the guy reading.

"Who is that?" you asked the waitress when she came back with your drink.

"He's been hanging around here for a few days. I'm not sure what he's doing, but I know he's waiting for something. The secretary in the office might know." She nodded back to where you had been, and you told her you would be right back. Leaving your bag on your stool to save your spot, you jogged back into the office and the guy at the desk cast you a tired glance.

"Who is that guy?" You pointed toward the back corner, leaning your elbows on the ledge of the front desk.

"He's a bounty hunter of some sort I believe. He is looking for someone for some reason, is waiting there for leads. He's offering money for any information." He shrugged and you nodded in acknowledgement and headed back to the eatery. Your food was ready by the time you got back, and the waitress chuckled at how fast you shoveled it in. When you were done, you handed her your chit and meandered on over to the guy.

"I heard you're looking for someone?" You started casually and he looked up at you over his glasses and your eyes widened. He was freaking gorgeous. His left eye was highlighted red, it seemed he had some kind of hologram-like contact in it or something. His black hair was styled half up, his bangs resting over his brow. He had a few ear piercings, his left nostril had a simple loop ring, and a matching one in the middle of his bottom lip. A chain hung around his neck with a pendant on the end that was some kind of upside-down triangle design. He simply hummed in response and put a slip of paper in his book and shut it, taking his glasses off. You sat on the end of the booth, a big gap between the two of you since he was sitting in the corner of the circular seat. He slid his holo-tracker across the table showing you a blurry image from some kind of security feed. It was a person, that was about all you could tell, and they had a hood up over their head and only the bottom part of their face was visible.

"This it?" You looked back at him, and he was sitting there stiffly, just looking at you. He was really hot, actually. He had on a tan, old-style button up with the top few buttons undone. His pants were a brown leather of some kind, and he had a belt on with an attached thigh-holster that held a pistol blaster.

"They stole some schematics. I need them back more than to find the person." He tapped the screen as he looked at it upside down and it showed a second image. The person had a cylinder with a strap hung over their back.

"It’s a set of old maps, they were stolen from the archives at the museum in the Capital." he explained and you slid your finger over the full image, zooming out to see the area.

"You a bounty hunter?" You slid the holo-tracker back to him and he put it back in his pocket.

"Not really. I'm a Ranger."

"You're a Ranger!?" You perked up and he seemed taken aback by your sudden excitement. Rangers were a small and elite group, they were essentially vigilantes, freelancers. They tended to do more things like rescues or arrests, or other odd jobs. They had a pretty strict rule of not killing.

"So, you want the maps but don't need the thief?"

"Yes. I would be nice to get both, though."

"Hm. I'll ask around and see, I travel quite a bit-"

"Scavenger?"

"Y-yeah." You chuckled nervously under his intense gaze.

"Be careful out there, if you get a lead, message me." He got his tracker back out and you scanned his with yours to save his ID.

"What's your name?" you asked.

"Wonwoo…"

"(Y/N)." You smiled and got up from the booth, going to retrieve your chit.

"I'll let you know!" You grinned and waved goodbye, heading back in. Your timing was perfect because Junmyeon was finished and he told you the first wrecks weren't worth a whole lot, but the last one was.

"Two million credits?!" You balked at the number.

"Yeah. Seems it was some kind of cargo vessel, and they think it might still have all of the packages on it still. You could get even more depending on what's inside." He smiled at your gawk, and you finally shut your mouth.

"Woah."

"I can get you the two million now-"

"Really!?"

"Yes." He chuckled and you dug your chit back out and he slid it into the console so he could transfer the credits.

"Shit…" you whispered, your hand shaking a bit as you took the chit back.

"Are…you staying in a hotel tonight?" Junmyeon asked as you scrolled on your holo-tracker, admiring the giant number registered in your account.

"Yeah! I might upgrade my room~" You giggled, and he took a breath, trying to psych himself up, but no words came out before you stood to leave.

"Thanks, Myeon! I'll make sure to come here when I can, kay?" You waved goodbye and he sighed as you dashed out of his office. As you left to head back to your hotel, you saw that Wonwoo had left his booth and you wondered why. Getting outside, you realized the rally had gotten out, floods of people now walking the streets, a big crowd heading toward the diner.

"Ew." You sneered at the globs of people and dashed back to the hotel. When you got in the lobby, you skipped up to the front counter, ready to ding the bell and call the nice old man out for assistance.

"Oh?" Someone was sitting in the lobby, a book in his hand.

"Ran away from all the people?" You spoke a bit louder so he could hear you and he glanced up over his glasses again. His face wasn't quite so cold as before, but he wasn't smiling either.

"Yes." His tone was also lighter.

"There's about to be a bunch more. The campaign team is staying here and will be back soon." The old man had come out of the office, and you sneered as he laughed.

"Are you staying here too?" you asked Wonwoo who had put his book away and was taking his glasses off.

"I hadn't checked in yet."

"We do not have any more rooms available, sir. We just had an influx of online reservations since the rally got out so late…" The old man sighed, and you hummed.

"I have a second single bed in my room…?" You suggested, not meeting his eye as he came to stand by you. He had a small duffle over his shoulder. His eyes finally met yours, and he seemed a little nervous, but you could only see it in his eyes, past that red glowing contact.

"Is that alright with you?"

"Yes? I wouldn't have offered otherwise…" You huffed and the old man hummed.

"Here, I will get you a key as well." You both waited and when Wonwoo received the clear keycard, you both scurried to elevator, people starting to enter the lobby. Neither of you said anything till you had shut the door to the hotel room.

"Are you sure this is okay?" you asked him, he was even stiffer than before.

"Y-yes." He cleared his throat, and he went further into the room, taking the bed near the window since your stuff was on the other one. He told you he was going to shower, and you nodded as he dashed past you. Sighing, you shook away some very impure thoughts, and went to your safe, rolling it over to the bench under the clothing rack and hauling it up onto it with a grunt. It took two physical keys as well as two padlocks and a dial lock. It clicked each one open and then you were able to open it. The air seal 'shunked' as you opened it, and you carefully rested the lid on the wall so it wouldn't scratch it. Looking over your objects, you had some small crystal-like artifacts that you worried were just fakes from some kind of gift shop. You also had some intact parts for ship consoles and even jewelry. There had been just a random case you found washed up on the shore of an oasis once that had gold and silver necklaces and rings inside. It was never reported missing, so you just kept them. Other bits and pieces were inside as well, and your mind went back to the image Wonwoo had showed you. The hood was what caught your eye. The person was experienced, knowing how to hide their face from all angles, so they were probably an experienced thief. Who would want ancient maps though? Especially from Terra.

"What is all that?" His deep voice startled you; you hadn't even heard the bathroom door open. Glancing up, you swallowed hard at the sight. He had put most of his clothes back on, but his shirt was still unbuttoned, allowing you to see his toned torso. He had flopped a towel onto his head to dry his hair and was putting his glasses back on. Trying to ignore how freaking sexy he was, you cleared your throat and started to point things out. When you got to the crystals, you let him put up the one that was shaped like a pyramid.

"I don’t know if they are worth anything, they might be fakes.”

"Have you shone light through them?" he asked, and you hadn't even thought of it.

"No?" He handed it back and you dug through your bag and found your flashlight, holding it to the crystal.

"Woah!" You gasped as a map of the stars shone on the ceiling as the light passed through the crystal.

"Is it worth anything?" you asked him. It was cool but could still theoretically be from a gift shop.

"The fakes have a button to turn on the light, that's the real deal. Where did you find them?" He was buttoning his shirt up, unfortunately, picking up the three other crystals and coming to sit on his bead across from you. There was a sphere, one that looked like a big diamond and an obelisk. You handed him the flashlight and he shined it through the other ones. The sphere showed a projection of a globe, but it wasn't S.V.T or even Terra.

"Mars." he muttered, and you looked closer, recognizing the small dots over the surface as the towers that held the barrier around the planet. The diamond one lit up a bright aqua blue, but that seemed to be all it did. The obelisk projected the time and date, but it seemed to be from Mars as well.

"I found them in some cave. How the heck did they get all the way out here?"

"Were these the only things in the cave?"

"Yeah…So even though they are legit, are they worth anything?

"Hm. Maybe to a collector. I can take them to the museum when I go back-" he halted, "If you're okay with it, I'll pay you back." If he wasn't a Ranger, you would be more hesitant to allow it, because he could just pocket the money. You didn't think he would though, not with the reputation of his group at stake otherwise.

"Sure." You shrugged and he took them and put them in his own pack, and you went back to your safe and locked it up.

"Thank you for letting me stay here." He called suddenly as you tried to figure out how the holo-screen worked and what channels there were.

"Sure. I'm not a fan of big groups of people and this is the best hotel in town." You smiled at him, going to hand him the remote.

"Oh, no, you can choose. I'll just read." You nodded and didn't press to continue the conversation. While it was quiet between you two, it was companionable and before you knew it, you had drifted off the sleep, listening to some show and the flipping of his book pages. When you awoke, he was gone, but it was like ten in the morning, and there was an unread message on your holo-tracker.

Sorry I left without saying goodbye. Thank you for letting me stay in your room for the night. I am heading back to the capital for now and will get your crystal projectors estimated. Please let me know if you get any leads on the map thief. -Wonwoo

You sighed, a little disappointed he just left, but he seemed quite shy and closed off. Whatever. For the rest of the day and the next few you lazed about and did some fun things to spoil yourself after your big payout, enjoying your little vacation. Over the week afterwards you were having trouble finding anything significant and had stopped at a small tavern set up near a small oasis. You sat at the bar, laying on it dramatically. The bartender had moved the fan closer to you so it could blow straight on you as you lazily sipped from the straw in your fruity drink. You glanced casually at the entrance when another person entered, and you zeroed in on their face. They had a hood on, but that didn't mean it was for sure the person Wonwoo had been looking for. After he had gotten the money from the crystals, more than you thought but not a huge amount, he had sent you more information. It was a woman, presumably, and she was pretty tall and even always wore heeled boots. Your gaze shifted to their feet but couldn't see for sure and you couldn't even tell it was a woman. You and Wonwoo had actually been messaging some even past leads on the thief. You didn't have many friends and while he had the other rangers, he said it was nice to talk to someone new. As you sat at the bar, you watched her, pretending you weren't. You casually took out your holo-tracker and took a picture of the person as discreetly as you could, then headed out. You continued to wait and watch in your rover, ready to take a picture of their vehicle when they left. You thought you knew which one it was, but didn't know for sure, so you waited till they came back out. They got in the one you had been eyeing, and so once they headed off, you sent the two pictures and a few more details to Wonwoo. He thanked you for the update, then asked where you were. He then told you to meet him in the next town of Falko, and since you were headed there anyway…

The town was much smaller than Jaron, so there was only one small motel, so it was easy to find where he was and get to his room. He was on the first floor in room three. You knocked and barely waited before he opened it. He was…smiling. You didn't know he could do that. You forgot how gorgeous he was.

"T-thanks." You smiled bashfully and followed him inside. It seemed he had been there awhile based on everything spread out across the room. There were a few consoles set up as well as tablets and other tech.

"What's going on in here?" You motioned around the room.

"While I'm looking for the map thief, I'm also trying to get the Ranger's new communication array set up. I'm making the program myself so it can't be hacked by outside sources." Wonwoo shrugged, moving various tablets from one of the beds so you could sit down. He sat at the small desk and turned to face you. He asked a few questions about the person you saw, and you gave him more details from the pictures. It wasn't a whole lot to go on, but if it was them, then he now had their vehicle information. Before you could talk past leads on the thief, his holo-tracker went off and he read the message. He sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"My partner is coming back. It might be better if you leave." He stood to lead you out and you grimaced.

"I-It's not…I just don't want him to meet you…" He mumbled and you wanted to press the issue. His cheeks were slightly red, and he flashed another genuine smile as you left the motel room.

"I'll let you know if the lead pans out." You nodded and before you could turn and leave, he had held something out for you.

"What's this?" You took the little holo-card.

"Um…it's my address. If you are ever in Ratalla…I won't be back home for a few more days, but I should be working from there after…" Wonwoo rubbed his hands on his pants, then shoved his hands in his pockets when you noticed.

"Thanks." You gave him your own smile, then left giddily.

Nearly another month passed before you saw him in person again, but you messaged back and forth quite a lot. There was once you were near his hometown, but he wasn't there, so you missed the chance of seeing him again.

You had been meeting with a repair man in a city called Guro; your rover hadn’t been driving straight. It seemed he would need it for a few days to even determine the issue, let alone what to do after. At least you were in a place with lots of activities. You had actually gotten another half a million credits from the giant wreck you found and had more funds than you knew what to do with. As you left the shop, looking up on the extranet for the nicest hotel, someone caught your eye. Despite the heat of the desert and the midday sun, there was someone slinking around with a hood on. You watched them, eyes glancing at their feet. Heeled boots. It was also a woman, and her height matched the parameters. There was even a cylinder vessel hung over her shoulder. It was her. The area had most warehouses, and she might have been meeting a buyer, so you decided to follow her. You sent Wonwoo a message with your coordinates to see if he could send someone by as well, or better yet, call some Guards. You trotted behind her, trying to stay out of sight and remain quiet. Hiding quickly around the corner, you watched her go into an unmarked warehouse after looking around for followers. Not well enough. The thief had gone in through a large open garage door, so it made it easy for you to follow. Crouching against the wall right near the edge of the door you peered around the corner and saw she was alone, probably waiting for someone. She glanced at her holo-tracker, then went further in, toward the garage door on the opposite side that opened to a scrap yard. Looking for another hiding place, you dashed forward and hid behind a column. When you peered around though, she was gone.

"Why are you following me?" A voice called from behind you, and you spun to see the thief, holding a pistol blaster aimed at you. Your heart fell and sweat broke out on your brow. Those maps must be really valuable if this person was willing to shoot you to prevent the interruption of the hand-off.

"I-I was just trying to figure out who-" The woman pulled back the hammer on the weapon and your stomach dropped.

"Shit!" You scrambled up and tried to at least get around the column when you saw her finger going to the trigger.

"Fuck!" You slammed your back against the column, seeing a smoking scorch mark on the ground.

"(Y/N)!" a familiar voice shouted, and you were shocked by Wonwoo's presence, distracting you.

"Stupid bitch!" The thief was back behind you, and you spun to see the gun nearly at your head. You yelped when something yanked you back and you fell into a hard body. Leaning into him, you watched in terror as the woman fell back onto the ground, a hole in her head. Then you noticed not only were you breathing hard, but so was he. He spun you around to look over you, his hands on your shoulders, one going to your jaw to adjust your head so he could look you over.

"Are you okay?" He was nearly frantic, his face and tone filled with panic.

"Y-yes." You weren't sure to be more surprised by his sudden appearance or the clear worry he had for you. It made your heart thud but for a much different reason. When he had finished looking over you and determined himself you were okay, Wonwoo pulled you into a hug. You returned the embrace, more trying to comfort him than anything.

"Fuck, I was worried." He sighed right in your ear, his deep voice rumbling through you.

"You were?" He pulled back enough so he could meet your eye and huffed.

"Of course. You didn't reply when I messaged you to stay away…" His hand went back to your jaw, his thumb brushing over the skin of your cheek, which was rapidly getting warm and red. When you met his eyes again your widened, he got close again and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

"Are you okay?" You chuckled a bit, kind of worried. He had never shown this level of emotion before.

"Yeah." Wonwoo pulled way, petting your hair then went to the body of the woman. You tried to avoid looking at her as he took the map holder from her and soon the Guard showed up. It was another good hour or maybe two before you both were finally allowed to leave after giving statements and answering questions.

"Do you have a place to stay tonight?" he asked you as you left the warehouse district.

"Not yet. I was just about to find a hotel when I saw her…" You drifted off, pointing with your thumb in the general direction of where you just were.

"I got a crap ton of money from a wreck I found so I was going to go somewhere fancy." You smiled wide and he gave you a smaller one. Wonwoo took a step closer, looking a bit nervous, his voice had a slight waver when he spoke.

"Wanna get a room together?"

From everything after he asked that question, till your back hit the door of your hotel room, it was a blur. As soon as the door closed, he had you pressed against it, his lips swallowing yours. His big hand was at the back of your head, making sure it didn't hit the wood of the door. You had gotten one of the deluxe suites of the nice hotel, so the bedroom was separate from the living area, and there was a small kitchen even. When your lungs started to burn for more air, he finally pulled his mouth from yours. As you caught your breath, just looking at each other, Wonwoo leaned into whisper in your ear, "I'm going to fuck you on every surface in this place." He promised. Your head swam at the statement and whined.

"Please~" As soon as he got permission, he grabbed turned you around, your front pressed to the door and his nose nuzzled behind your ear. You let him do as he wished, running his hands under your thin top, starting to suck on the skin in the crook of your neck. You were a bit worried about him having to stoop over so far since he was so much taller, but if he wasn't complaining, neither would you. You could tell he was marking your skin as he licked, sucked, and nibbled over your neck and shoulders. His hands quickly got your shirt off and as his hands danced over the skin of your stomach, you toed your boots off, shoving them to the side. Before he completely removed it, Wonwoo slipped his hands under your breast band, palming the flesh, making you shiver. Undoing the latch, he took the wrap off and it fell to the floor as well. Not turning around to see for sure, you heard more fabric rustling and assumed he was removing his own top. You sighed when his arms wrapped around you, holding your back to his bare chest, the right hand cupping your left breast, and his other hand skating over your stomach. He smiled at the whining moan you let out when his hand finally went into your pants, long fingers stroking the wet patch on your panties.

"So wet, pretty girl." He kissed behind your ear, fingers tweaking your nipple.

"Wonwoo~" You whimpered when his bare fingers finally met your folds and he groaned.

"Let's see how tight you are." Every time he rumbled words in your ear, it made your whole body shiver. Sighing when his finger slid inside, he huffed, his hips twitching as your gummy walls sucked his finger in. You could feel his hardening cock through his pants, pressing into your back side. When Wonwoo added a second finger, crooking them up and pressing hard into your back wall, your legs buckled, and the only reason you didn't fall was his arms around you.

"Need to get your pussy ready for me, pretty." He smiled against your neck when your groan faded into a whine.

"Fuck~" You practically cried as his palm dug into your clit and you were already close.

"No!" You gasped when his fingers left right as you were getting to the edge.

"Wonwoo?" He had pulled away entirely, you only knew he was still behind you because his hands were on the waist band of your pants. He pulled them along with your underwear down and kneeled behind you, helping you get them off without falling over.

"Hold on, pretty girl." While you weren’t sure what he was about to do, your fingers dug futilely into the wood of the door. Your breath escaped you when he, without real warning, shoved his tongue into your cunt, his thumb flicking your clit. Your legs immediately began to shake, a mewl escaping with each rapid breath. You were done for when his lips sealed around your clit, barely flicking with his tongue, and your nails dug into the wood as you released on his tongue. He chuckled, your cunt dripping release onto the floor.

"Gonna have to clean this place good…" You joked, breathless and he laughed harder. Wonwoo hummed, standing back up. There was more shuffling as you rested against the door panting. You sighed when his arms came back to you, pulling you back into his now completely naked body. His cock was wedged in the crook of your ass, and you swore under your breath, why was he so freaking big? He was tall and his shoulders were broad, and apparently had to have a fat cock as well.

"Fuck!" You groaned when the head of his cock went to the entrance of your core. One of his arms wrapped around your ribs, the hand resting under your breast, and the other was at your hip.

"Ready?" His tone had shifted, it was playful and cocky, a slight laugh accompanied the word.

"Please!" You gasped as he started to push in, your legs shook as his dick stretched you open. You hadn't been fucked in a long time, and longer still fucked good. You panted out little whines as he kept filling you, and it seemed like he was going to end up in your throat. Your whole body was trembling when he finally bottomed out, his strong hips pressed against your ass.

"God, your cunt feels so good, princess." His groan rumbled through both of you. You couldn't see, but his head was thrown back, adam's apple bobbing as he tried to get used to how tight you were. When he realized you were on your tip toes trying to compensate for the height difference, he shifted to ease the strain. He backed up so you could lean forward more, and he angled his hips down. Your feet were no longer burning, and his new angle seemed to get him even deeper somehow. Your cunt was burning too, trying to accommodate his size, slick walls fluttering from the stimulation. He had still barely moved, letting you adjust, but you were growing close again.

"Move…" Your request was so quiet. You were trying not to moan like a bitch in heat even though that was exactly how you felt.

"Slow? Fast?"

"Fuck- Wonwoo, just-" He pulled out about halfway and thrust back in, the head of his cock kissing your cervix. You both moaned, his hands left their original positions to grip the flesh of your ass and he chuckled when you nearly sobbed as he started. Only pulling out part of the way, he would fuck back into you hard, grinding his pubic bone into you each time.

"Fucking hell, Wonwoo~" You ended up back on your toes just from the pleasure and you hoped they wouldn't fine you too bad for the scratches your nails were carving into the wood. All your breath got fucked out of you when he finally gave a full thrust, your orgasm slamming into you.

"Shit-" Wonwoo grunted when your already tight cunt squeezed him even more, he had to slow down just to keep himself from cumming as well. He smirked, watching your fingers twitch as you clawed the door, your head flopped forward between your shoulders.

"No, no, no!" You babbled as he pulled out all the way, huffing in amusement at your whining.

"Come here, pretty." Wonwoo easily lifted you, somewhere between like a sack of potatoes and a princess. Your head was still swimming from your orgasm, so the move to the next location was a bit blurry. You shivered and mewled when he set you on the counter that was in the mini kitchen of the suite, the marble very cold on your bare thighs and pussy. He laughed at your yelp when he pulled you, so your butt was right at the end of the counter, and didn't hesitate to bury himself back into you. The thrust was harsher and faster than the first and your hands flew to his shoulders to steady yourself as he restarted the brutal rhythm that he was fucking you against the door with. The man groaned when your nails dug into his skin instead of the wood, so he decided to mark you himself.

"Wonwoo~" Your voice wavered, eyes starting to tear up at the feeling of him fucking your brains out. His mouth went to your own shoulder, at the base of your neck. He started with open mouth kisses, then sucked the skin before lightly sinking his teeth in. He could feel your whimper against your throat, and you felt his responding hum from his lips. Wonwoo tightened his grip as well, wanting to leave bruises shaped like his hands on your skin. He was struggling to hold you upright enough, so you didn't bang your head against the counter, and his knees kept knocking into the cabinet.

"Hold on…" He grunted, and you squeaked when, without withdrawing, picked you up, holding your legs around his waist. Not going far, one hand held your butt and the other went to hitch your leg over his elbow as he pinned you to the wall. Luckily the paint on the wall wasn't textured, your back rubbing over the surface as you bounced on his cock. Wonwoo looked even more gorgeous than normal like that, naked, sweat covering his brow, pupils blown wide. The red, dancing hologram of his eye contact contracted and spun, and you wondered what it did, if anything. With hazy thoughts, you glanced down at his body, whining at the sight of his abs, clenched to work his hips and hold you up.

"Fuck, pretty girl-" He exhaled harshly, his thrusts getting less regular as he grew closer to his orgasm.

"Inside, please, fuck!" You pleaded and he had no desire to argue. His forehead landed on your shoulder, and he moaned higher than you thought he could go as he pumped his cum into you. In the silence, cutting through both of your panting breaths, your combined release dripped onto the tile floor. Your head was so empty you nearly didn't realize you had came again as well. You tried hard not to slump like a rag doll since he was completely holding you up, but you had nearly no strength.

"Let's get to the bed." Wonwoo stood up straight, staying inside, his cock still rock-hard and he carried you to the separate bedroom of the suite. While he meant to set you down on the bed gently, you flopped onto it, letting yourself finally go boneless, your muscles and mind were mush. You weren't sure if you could go any longer, but despite a bit of sweat on him, he was unaffected.

"I've been waiting to fuck you since you came to my motel room in Falko." He admitted, shifting you higher on the bed, following suit, his hard cock covered in both of yours cum resting between the folds of your cunt. You barely registered the confession before your back arched, his cock finding its home inside of you again. It was hard to fully catch your breath, he was battering his cock into your dripping cunt without any mercy. As he rolled his hips just right to hit every single good spot inside of you, his hands gripped your thighs, maneuvering your weakly shaking thighs so they were pressed to your chest, knees at your ears.

"D-daddy, go slower!" You keened and his hips immediately stopped. You were too far gone to feel anything but a bit of respite, head flopping so your cheek rested on the pillow.

"Fucking hell, princess." Somehow his voice had gotten deeper, and he started the brutal pace back up, snapping his hips even harder than before. If you had the strength to scream you would, but your throat was hoarse, so you just mewled and squeaked, drool pooling from the corners of your mouth, tears down your cheeks.

"You love daddy's cock ruining your sweet little cunt, huh?" He huffed when your glassy eyes met his. The red hologram spun and danced, and while you couldn't see, through the lens he had a much different view. Little numbers and labels shown in the air around your body, telling him how and where your brain was firing, your heart rate, body temperature, blood pressure. He could even highlight where blood pooled to the bruises his hands had made.

"Yes~!" You gasped as his thrusts slowed down, but just as hard, he barely pulled out before grinding down into you. Different sensors from his lens flashed on and he could tell you were getting close already. Even without it, he could feel your walls pulsing, more of your wet dripping from where your bodies met.

"You wanna cum, pretty?" You nodded rapidly, whimpering positively.

"Cum for daddy, then." And with one more thrust you fell over the edge. Not just from his words, but also the rough friction of his pelvic bone meeting your clit. Wonwoo chuckled as he felt your pussy spasm, more of your cum squirting from your quivering folds, coating his skin as well. He had a feeling you were spent even though he knew he could keep going. He had stilled inside of you, so he didn't overstimulate you too much, and he wasn't for sure you were still conscious. Your eyes were closed, arms resting on the bed up by your head. He smiled warmly, cooing at your fucked out state, letting your legs go so they could rest onto the bed as well. When he pulled out you shuddered, a long shaky keen floating from your parted lips. He was shocked at the globs of thick, white cum that dripped out of your swollen cunt and he was still unfortunately still very hard. After feeling your core milk him dry, he wasn't sure even a cold shower would calm him down. Though, seeing you laying there, he felt a little bad he had caused you to become so worn out and didn't want to be selfish.

"Oh, princess." Wonwoo leaned back over you, kissing your cheek, the corner of your mouth, then softly pressed his lips to yours. You sighed and it made him grin, you were at least conscious.

"You're still hard." Your voice was quiet, higher than normal, almost whiny.

"It's okay, pretty, you're tired." Wonwoo nuzzled the side of your neck under your ear, lightly sucking on your ear lobe. If he wasn't careful, he would not be able to resist sliding back inside you. With the little strength you had return to you, you pushed him back just enough that you could flop over onto your stomach.

"(Y/N), we don't-" You didn't let him finish, grabbing a pillow to shove under your hips, lifting your butt a bit higher.

"Please, daddy~" You looked at him with shining eyes over your shoulder, and who was he to resist?

"Oh, fuck, princess. If you insist…"

Masterlist

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leopardom · 19 days

Note

because it’s gonna be 12 months from the start of this fandom (kinda mostly here anyway), would you like to give me a fav moment from every month so far (can be fandom related, can be only jo related)? if that’s something you’re in the mood rn 🩷

absolutely 🤩

welcome to the ✨Joker Out Chronicles (May 2023 - March 2024)✨ as viewed by user leopardom

this is gonna be a list of fav moments from every month so far and since i couldn't choose, it's gonna be both band related and fandom related

this is gonna be long so more under the cut

May 2023

band: the whole eurovision journey from befriending all the contestants to Bojan's date and eventual engagement with Käärijä to the band giving condoms to everyone and their mom to the rehearsals to the iconic turqoise carpet to the Käärijä sauna to the voting promo to the qualification to the finals to Bojan licking the camera and to Joker Out becoming pretty much esc legends despite finishing 21st in the final. the beginning of everything, absolutely chaotic but i wouldn't imagine it any other way

fandom: the formation this sounds cliche yes but i was here since April 2023 and it was... very silent. the non-esc related jo stuff were limited and people were still discovering them so yeah i was sitting here hoping that after esc people would stick around so we can scream together about the band as a band and not only as esc contestants. and thankfully people did that and here we are now 🥹

June 2023

band: first international gigs the gigs in Dublin are one thing but then came the announcements of the Nordic tour, the Warsaw gigs, the headline gigs in Novi Sad and Zagreb... honourable mention to Stožice going sold out

fandom: Tavastia 1.0 there's absolutely no way i will even forget how the jo, ka and esc fandoms had a collective meltdown when Bojan casually showed up in Helsinki and then joined Käärijä on stage on both his Tavastia gigs (mind you both as a singer and as a dancer lmao). no wonder why this moment still has a chokehold on all of us. 9th of June 2023, you will always be famous

July 2023

band: the appearance of Demoni scream i know that festivals and the first UK run were important and gave us some iconic moments too (like some slay outfits and Jan's sparklative confusion), but the damn Demoni scream is so dear to me it kinda tops it all. it's so good to see how Bojan embraced it after that first time (2/7/23 in Škofja Loka) and now there can't be Demoni without the scream/growl/whatever you wanna call it

fandom: the Jance wedding on stage iirc the Jance brainrot had started spawning before 29/7 but that Saturday night was the cherry on top. so glad we got to experience this live as well since there was a livestream going on that night and we saw Jan putting the veil on Nace himself <3

August 2023

band: the Koper gig i wasn't even there okay but judging from the content and people's comments on it, it was probably one of the most iconic jo gigs. also my favourite jo video in existence is coming from that night (here) side note: i've been to Slovenia once in my life, 11 years ago, and funnily enough we were staying in Koper and i recognised the place they had the concert. anyway, visit Slovenia and Koper, it's a very nice small seaside town and it's worth the visit <3

fandom: the collective screaming about things to be completely honest i don't remember much from that month in terms of fandom, but i kinda remember how most of us had started diving into the band's past more and more and “new” old content was posted almost every day. videos, photos, gifs, interviews, the amazing @jokeroutsubs translating more old content...

September 2023

band: Nordic tour i won't even start talking about this because you'll never hear the end of it. we all know what the Nordic tour was. even the release of SSOL, the first single after esc, can't top this whole thing, sorry

fandom: google drive content and *shocked gasp* Nordic tour another collective meltdown for the fandom. first being bombarder with backstage videos on a damn google drive folder (that ended up being a frequent occurence in the following months) to the whole run of the Nordic tour. do i need to say more? i feel like i can't. only this: Nordic tour, you will always be famous

October 2023

band: Stožice not much to say here either. they sold out a whole arena months prior to the actual concert date. it was their moment. a milestone (probably their biggest to date). and it was amazing to witness this in any possible way, whether it was by attending the concert or watching an ig livestream or keeping track of the photos and videos of that night

fandom: Stožice and Halloween outfits the chokehold both the Stožice and the Halloween (aka pilots and flight attendands) outfits had on the whole fandom... also love how we collectively agreed that Kris' Stožice outfit was his version of Princess Diana's revenge dress and how the Halloween outfits sent the fandom into a spiral in means of creations (fanart, fanfics etc)

November 2023

band: the whole touring well they did have a number of gigs during November and they seemed to be having so much fun 🥰 so much that at the end of November they announced their first proper european tour

fandom: collective screaming about things once again i mean all the gigs were feeding us well. the outfits alternating or not, Jance/Bokris moments, Bonace getting more spotlight (Bojan was and still is going through something during Demoni and Ona like wtf was he doing to Nace was it the serbian lyrics waking up something wild in him 😭😭😭). there was a lot going on back in November… honourable mentions: this Bokris moment, cvjetits (x x) and Kris riding Jure

December 2023

band: the whole Munich experience there's a good chance jo don't remember their whole stay in Munich for the first time as one of the best ones ever, especially if they think about the 1,5k euro taxi they paid as part of making it to The Hague in time for the next gig. but if anything, i feel like this captures their whole vibe as a band; ✨purely chaotic✨

fandom: european tour vlog and Bojan with the bi flag we waited for a long time for a Nordic tour vlog. maybe we didn't get it as an individual video but even as part of the whole tour vlog it was great and definitely worth the wait. also it was a great xmas gift let's be real 😌 now Bojan with the bi flag was probably not a very huge fandom moment and my bi ass may be biased here (this rhymed lol), but seeing him wrap himself with the bi flag followed by that speech before Barve Oceana in Barcelona will always be such a precious moment to me and i'll cherish it forever 💖 note: when i saw them last month in Munich i immediately started crying when i heard the first notes of Barve Oceana live; not only because i love the song and i finally heard it live, but also because i instantly thought of that moment of Bojan with the bi flag and the speech)

January 2024

band: Joker Out cooking livestreams London era my beloved (i never thought i'd say this about a city in the UK out of all places). their whole stay in London was an Experience both for the band and the fandom but well they got their chance to show the world they can cook besides playing music and they did. now let's not get into the kind of cooking they did, but the livestreams were very entertaining and bless them for doing them 😅

fandom: death by Damon Baker's photos yeah no i don't think i need to say more here, i'm still not over those photoshoots and i still can't quite believe they actually happened. like?????????? jo???? photographed individually or not by Damon fucking Baker???? ugh 😫 on that note i want to add that i loved and still love how those photos sparked the creativity in this fandom. from analyses of each photo to fanfics to fanart to creating anything in general. one of my favourite moments of the fandom <3

February 2024

band: release of Everybody's Waiting the whole road to the release of this single was Something with the band continuing the usual shenanigans and with Damon still releasing unseen photos of them. the release of it may have gotten us divided because of its language or the path they chose to take music-wise (it's not everyone's cup of tea and that's more than fine), but personally i like this for them. it's different, it showed a different side of them which they wanted to explored; they got a chances to do it and they did it. and you know what? it's so good live

fandom: death by Damon Baker's photos, Jure edition this could be merged with my fave fandom moment of January 2024 but this one is special because we just saw another Jure like WTF WAS THAT 😭 anyway i loved how we all kind of lost it when his photos dropped note: the moment Damon posted Jure's photos i was on my way to meet my friends in Dresden of all places and i was so shocked by what i saw i almost ran into a lighting column on the street 💀💀💀

March 2024

band: Jan and Bojan playing the piano at every gig of the tour i could've said the whole tour is my favourite thing from this March and it's not like it's not, this is a big moment for the band. it's just that once again i'm a bit biased here. many people, my pianist ass included, wished there would be a piano or some keyboard on stage during the tour because come on if Jan plays the keys for Everybody's Waiting studio version then why not do it live too? and you know what's better? not only there was a piano on stage for the whole tour, but not only Jan but also Bojan played it. however, Bojan playing it for Everybody's Waiting and Jan playing it for Padam, Metulji and the cases where they had special guests (like in Estonia with Alika, Lithuania with Monika and Belgium with Gustaph)... those were not on my bingo card and they were the most pleasant surprise ever 😌

fandom: meeting each other at the gigs when the tour started and even though i knew i would go to at least two gigs, i was extremely nervous because this meant i'd probably come across other fans from here and social media in general. as a person with anxiety, one of my worries was how i'd be perceived and how i'd manage to not come across as a snob person because i'm shy and scared to talk to people i don't know. as the tour went on and i saw people meeting each other irl after only knowing each other via tumblr/twitter/instagram, i got more nervous but also had a warm feeling in my chest because seeing people meet, bond over things they like and have fun at gigs together is actually very wholesome 🫶 i hoped i would get to experience this too at the italian gigs but i was still nervous. and then, around the middle of March, i made the spontaneous decision to do the Munich gig too, but instead of getting even more nervous i just got myself on autopilot. and i'm glad i did because if i hadn't i wouldn't have met some of you neither in Munich nor in Milan or Padua. i wouldn't get to trade stuff and joke about things and talk about fandom stuff or even about fanfics lmao 😂 anyway, point is that i most probably was worried about nothing. i got to meet so many people at the gigs and i had so much fun despite the inconveniences that may had showed up in the way (i don't wanna talk about it tbh) and everyone was so welcome and lovely i'll never shut up about it 😭 also i’m taking this opportunity to say that if we attended the same gigs but didn't get to meet, i'm so sorry about it really but we will do it at some point i'm telling you! and i also wish i get to meet more of you from in here so we can yap about things outside of tumblr too. btw i still have stickers to give away and i will make more whenever the time comes again <3

#the only reason i didn't include April 2023 or April 2024 is because:#1) April 2023 was a bit dry and a jo fandom couldn't be identified yet #2) April 2024 has only just started lol #this is LONG long i’m so sorry 😭#but i couldn’t think of any other way of doing it 🥲#ask #joker out

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stylessupremacy · 1 year

Text

New York VII

“Anthony,” Harry waved him over. “Can you do the iconic Madison Square Garden picture for me?”

“Of course, H!” Anthony grabbed his camera, “It is my job to take your picture,” he joked.

Tonight was Harry’s seventh show at The Garden and he had yet to his iconic pose inside the arena.

He had just gotten to the stage for sound check but the live audio engineers were having technical difficulties making Harry wait to do it.

Y/n was a little behind Harry since she and Glenne were talking and catching up while their husbands chatted it up and headed to the stage.

Y/n and Glenne made their way to the stage and joined their husbands, the three of them watching as Anthony shot Harry do the iconic pose.

“Was waiting to see when you would do your pose,” Jeff chuckled watching as Harry lifted his arms from his side and tilted his head up looking at the big screen.

Y/n watched and admired her husband as he got his photo taken. His muscle prominent when his arms were raised.

Harry was a fit man, always has been. Yet he has made significant gains in the last year with his muscle gain and you could tell. Everything was more prominent.

Anthony snapped over a dozen photos, “You want to see these?”

Harry turned around and nodded, “Sure.”

Y/n peeled her eyes away before he would notice and looked at the photos Anthony had taken of Harry.

All the pictures looked the same but with some editing from Anthony, it would make the picture look way better than the original.

“Thanks, man. These look amazing,” Harry spoke to Anthony giving him a bro hug.

“We’re going to go back to the dressing room before I have to start getting ready for the show.”

Anthony, Jeff, and Glenne all nodded and said their goodbyes.

Harry wrapped his arm around Y/n’s shoulders and couldn’t walk the two of them out of there quicker.

As they walked the halls getting back to his dressing room, Y/n was confused why he was in such a rush.

“What’s the rush for, H?” Y/n turned her head to look at him but he was too busy leading the way for the both of them.

He quickly opened his dressing room door and pushed Y/n inside, locking the door behind him.

He was quick to pin her up against the wall.

“I saw you staring at me when I was getting my picture taken. Couldn’t help myself having m’beautiful wife staring at me.”

That’s when Y/n realized Harry had a bulge in the crotch of his shorts.

“Really couldn’t keep it in your pants any longer?” She teased him, snaking her arms around his neck and playing with his unruly curls.

Harry was quick to hike her thighs around his waist using the wall to keep her up, “Every time I look at you it gets me going.”

His mouth roamed her neck leaving a trail of wet kisses behind, nipping at the delicate skin.

“So fucking hot,” he mumbled, his lips moving down to her exposed collar bone leaving behind harsh red marks that would soon turn purple.

Y/n’s hands were still twirling his hair between her fingers and her head was thrown back in pleasure.

“Harry,” she moaned. The knot in her stomach started to grow and between her legs was soaked.

He was quick to move them to the couch, taking off their clothes and chucking them to the floor making sure he put a condom on to be on the safe side.

His hips straddled hers as he leaned over her biting and sucking her nipple as his fingers pinched and rolled the other one making her moan with pleasure.

“You’re such a needy slut,” he mumbled, moving his lips down her stomach and then to her thighs leaving his sloppy kisses.

With his head between her thighs leaving harsh bites to her inner thighs, he teased her by swiping his tongue across her wet folds.

“So wet f’me,” he uttered. His fingers swiped along her folds gathering her juices.

Y/n watched with lustful eyes as he licked his fingers clean of her juices, “So delicious.”

Her back arched aching for his touch, “Harry, please. I need you in me,” she stuttered. The sensation and need becoming too much for her.

His fingers pinched her inner thighs which were bruising by the minute from Harry’s teeth, “M’needy slut.”

“Need daddy t’help get you off?” He left a harsh slap to her ass cheek, “Y’such a needy slut, your panties were soaked before I even started on ya’.”

The harsh degrading always turned each other on, their sex life was definitely something they shared and loved.

“Daddy, please,” she begged. Her pussy aching, needing to be relieved.

Without warning, Harry plunged deep into her. Her back arched and her toes curled, low moans coming from her soft, plump lips.

Harry’s hips thrust into hers and rocked back and forth as he plunged in and out of her. The only sounds coming from them were moans of pleasure and their heavy breaths.

As Y/n got close to coming off, “The only pussy made f’me.” His thrust becoming sloppier, “This is f’me only, right bunny?”

Her head back letting out a low moan she nodded, “Only for you, daddy.”

She needed a little push to get off her high so Harry took his thumb and rubbed it in a circular motion on her clit.

“C’mon darling, you’re almost there,” Harry muttered. He was right there but he would never get off first, making sure he took care of his girl first.

Y/n came off from her high and Harry followed shortly after. He always made sure to clean her up afterward since she was always in a fuzzy state of mind.

“Let’s get cleaned up and have some cuddles.” He would always take care of his girl no matter what.

Tag List 🏷️

@michellekstyles @vrittivsanghavi @finelinesunflowers

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tkwrites · 27 days

Note

Sorry for the length of this but I wanted to go through and find particular parts of your series that I really liked and show how I really appreciate the little things you add. Turns out that list was way too long after just one part so switched it to some quotes that I found funny/made me laugh xxx

“So you're what, 20?” “I hope I look older than that!”

“Were you worried I was going to ask for pictures of your feet or something?”

She snorted. Every time she saw Quinn, he was in a variation of three outfits: jeans and a jacket, athletic wear, or a game day suit. Okay but had to bring up how accurate this is, have you seen this man in the past like fortnight? He has worn the same suit to every game, I mean iconic for sure but dude come on aha

The interaction with Quinn and Emma when she asks if he's slept with Sarah yet is also so cute and funny to me aha

They ended with a very off key “Yooooou!” and the camera turned back to the front, showing Elias with a teasing, mischievous glint in his eyes, “Happy birthday, Sarah!” he said. “Thanks for making Huggy bearable!”

“You keep in touch with everyone who was there that night?” he joked, hoping she would see how ridiculous her worry was.

“Gee, thanks, Hughes,” she said, flatly. “I had no idea ice is slippery.”

“Can you hold me?” he asked. It came out quieter than he thought it would. Okay this one isn't funny but this was from the first one I ever read and remember this being the point when I was like 'aww this is cute af' 🥹 just how he was clearly so in love with this person and not afraid to be seen in whatever state

“If you want me to go back to sleep, straddling my thigh isn’t the way to do it,” he teased.

She pointed to the bed, “you want to tell me they're not going to know we weren't just having sex?” Just the pure 'bitch please' tone I read this in aha

Have the best day and thankyou endlessly for this series 😘

Can we know what kind of scenarios you have as wips? All good if you'd rather not xx

I do have a question actually, what do you envision Sarah does with the puck Quinn gave here from her first game? Is it on display or tucked away somewhere?

Well goodnight from me and best vibes sent your way always x

Oh my goodness, Alora. 🥹😢😭 Thank you so much. This was such an incredible message to receive during such a hard week.

I don't even know what to say. I feel so very blessed. Every time I get a message like this - scratch that, this is the first message with so much detail I've received - it just kills my imposter syndrome a little bit more. Thank you for that. I really can't even express how much it means to me.

I'm happy to share my wip list. I've put it below the cut in case someone doesn't want to be spoiled. A caveat, though: some of these pieces are farther along than others. Some are 99% finished, but I'm waiting for a little more context before posting them. Some have barely been started, while others have a good amount of work done on them. I write fics on the side of my regular, full-time job and living my life, so sometimes progress is slow going.

I honestly kind of forgot about Quinn giving Sarah that puck.

She definitely has the puck Quinn gave her out on display. It's on her desk, used mostly to hold her place in/as a weight to hold open her text books when she's studying.

Thank you for asking!

Endless love sent your way! 😘

WIP list:

(These are in no particular order)

Quinn meets Sarah's uncle

Sarah gets bombarded by fan girls on social media and bonds with the other WAGs

The Canucks are eliminated from the playoffs - comfort ensues

Quinn and Sarah discuss no longer using condoms and put that into practice

Golf. Of course. We meet sassy Sarah for the first time.

Sarah meets Jack and Luke during the playoffs

Sarah’s finals

Sarah and Quinn discuss the summer situation

Sarah does a photo shoot for Quinns birthday (I can't decide if this one is super dumb or not. If you'd like to beta read it, let me know)

All of the summer shenanigans including but not limited to :

Car sex

A black bikini

The lake house

Quinn meets Sarah's siblings

And an unnamed Nico Hischier x art student Lena 3 part friends-to-lovers series.

#quinn & sarah snapshots #asks #answered #quinn hughes #nico hischier

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winderlylandchime · 6 months

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Hello, happy Monday. I am here to provide a tiny update on my brother’s Halloween costume. Because obviously the man went an extra mile. He went to the store yesterday after we got home for some last minute shopping and you guys, he bought condoms. Bunch of condoms. And because he did get a tiny bit worried that my friends are, and I quote “fake gay and wouldn’t know the icon Brian Kinney” (keep in mind he is in a robe for one costume and a suit for the other) he decided to print out a bunch of tiny pictures of Brian in the robe and Brian at prom. And he made it look like a business card. So basically it was two photos one by the other on one side and on the other side he wrote ‘Brian Kinney’ and under it ‘the face of God’ and then under that it said ‘no excuses, no apologies, no regrets.’ So that was basically his costume. He briefly considered writing down some of Brian’s lines and only speaking to people by quoting him but he ran out of time (thank god). And since this neighbor lives like two houses down, the suit stayed at home. Anyway he knocked on the door in a robe (he wore shorts underneath!!!) with the coffee carafe (it had actual coffee inside that he drank throughout the furst half of the party) and when my neighbor opened the door, he immediately pulled out a condom and the fake business card to give it to her. And he did that to literally everyone! Some people recognized it after they saw the “business card” but only the neighbor who turned 50 a few weeks ago recognized it immediately and my brother gave him two condoms bc ‘one is a requirement and the other is a reward for being awesome.’ And then halfway through the party one of the neighbors was like ‘where did your brother go?’ And I had no clue where he was and then like 10 minutes later he walked in the house dressed in the suit with the white scarf and i was standing next to the neighbor who recognized his costume and this fucker walks up to us and looks at me and i could just tell that he was thinking of the Brian/Daphne scene and that he really wanted to quote it (he watched the ep again before we left for research). And he made this grossed out face and went ‘ugh…you being my sister ruins everything because i was going to ask *does exaggerated air quotes* your date for a dance.’ And then him and the guy went to dance. EXCEPT the song that was playing was Shut Up by Black Eyed Peas and he was dressed as Brian at prom and the neighbor was dressed as Freddie Mercury in Break Free and honestly seeing that happen gave me at least 10 extra years to my life. My whole family was laughing at the videos of them dancing because at first they tried to do the slow dance since they obviously knew it but the song didn’t fit and when my brother TRIED to dip Freddie, his fucking wig flew off and my brother went ‘oh shit. My bad Mr Mercury’ and then put his wig back on but it was backwards and they were both laughing too hard to continue their slow dance to the upbeat song. So obviously that didn’t work. So they started to dance in a really bad way because my brother is still not 100%, so by accident he was doing a great Gale dancing impression and my neighbor started to really badly twerk while dressed as Freddie. And later while we were talking, “Freddie” goes ‘quick question, how come you didn’t put fake blood over the scarf?’ And my brother looked as him as if he just kicked a puppy in front of him and in a very soft voice went ‘too soon, man. Too soon.’ And one other neighbor who doesn’t know qaf went ‘apologize now! Look what you did! He looks like hes about to cry!’ So that was kinda how the party went. Thankfully by now everyone in the neighborhood (mind you it’s not that many people. Maybe 20-25ish people all together?) knows that he is obsessed with qaf and Brian so at least they weren’t freaked out by him and probably even expected some bullshit. Which he obviously delivered.

Oh my goodness! This totally made my Monday morning!

I love that he had business cards and condones and an actual carafe of coffee. I love the idea of prom!Brian dancing with Freddie Mercury (and I’m very glad he didn’t say to you “looking good [name] I’d fuck you” and I am dyingggg over the question and his reaction to “why didn’t you put blood on the scarf.”

I’ve never done a qaf inspired Halloween costume. This is new levels of fandom unlocked.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

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imtheveryglambert · 1 year

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Since this is a photo blog that mostly focuses on Adam's beauty, I don't actually get to talk about him much

So here's a post that's full of iconic/funny moments from him

"They're amazing!- (Looking up at... something? flying by) Oh hello young...? What is that?? We don't have those in LA. I think that was a fairy, well we have those but not those kind. That's a twink!"

Stopped during a performance of "If I had you" because two people in the audience were fighting and told them to say they were sorry and hug each other

Interviewer: "And then you have to write your autograph on 3 condoms."

Noticed his security guard telling off a fan in the front row, pointed at the guard and (gently) kicked him away screaming "Get out!" while doing so and a little afterward saying "Take my picture, bitch!"

Adam: "Condoms? Ok! Safe sex is important. :]"

"My-My boot.. the bottom of the sole has ripped off and now it looks like a muppet, and it can talk to you.. (Flapping shoe sole up and down) Hello! :D"

"(Singing) I love all kinds of weed"

Has stopped performing (on multiple occassions) because he noticed a fan passed out and wouldn't continue unless he was sure they were ok

"(With minced garlic on his hand) I'm gonna fist a vampire."

"Do I like sports?

(Long rapid blinking and staring at camera)

..I don't like sports guys."

" 'At an open bar, what is your drink of choice?' All of them, next question."

These next two arent really quotes or moments but I'd still like to mention the fact that Adam lost American Idol because pictures of him and his boyfriend were leaked and a lot of people were.. not too accepting when it came to him being gay. But the funny part of all of this is that he actually ended up coming back to American Idol, not as a contestant but as a mentor for a short period of time.

Another fact I'd like to mention is how suprisingly paitent Adam is with.. certain.. kinds of fans. Theres been a fan that run down the hallway of the hotel he's staying at and yell his name, theres been fans who grab tightly onto Adam when he comes down from stage to interact with the audience to the point he would struggle to get them to let go, fans that have thrown sex toys at him while he's performing, so many things that would normally (and rightfully) make someone angry.. yet when I see it happen and I see him talk about it. I can't seem to find any hatred or anger, He's calm and understanding about it all..

#adam lambert

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xtrablak674 · 8 months

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De La Haring

As I did my yoga this morning I noticed my Haring condom holder (bought at his Pop Shop in Soho) next to my De La Soul album. I thought in an alternative universe where hip hop wasn't so misogynistic and homophobic, it would have been a perfect collaboration to have Keith Haring do the art for the iconic De La Soul album, 3 Feet High and Rising.

The visual of both arts are so closely related it would have been nice if they merged. But early hip hop wasn't really melded with fine art until much later in its history. But as a person with a intersectional identities it would have meant a lot to me having two of my identities being recognized in popular culture in such a positive way.

[Photo by Brown Estate]

#de la soul #Keith Haring #pop culture #pop art #misogony #misogynoir #homophobia #alternative realities #3 Feet High and Rising #Pop Shop #soho #intersectionality #hip hop #hip hop 50 #collaboration #yoga #just imagine #what if

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nerdygaymormon · 3 years

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My Queer Playlist - Part 2

These are songs from 1994 to 2011

1994 - A Deeper Love : Aretha Franklin - No longer will I do all the things that I used to do. That’s right, I’ve been working on my self-esteem, self-respect and becoming proud of who I am. Pride is developing a deeper love for ourselves.

1994 - Streets of Philadelphia : Bruce Springsteen - Bruce wrote this haunting song for the film Philadelphia, which was about a lawyer who was fired for being gay & having HIV. Oh brother, are you gonna leave me wastin’ away on the streets of Philadelphia? These lyrics ask how society could turn its back on those who need help the most. He can hear the blood pulsing in his veins, and he describes the blood as black because HIV/AIDS is figuratively black and deadly instead of red & life giving.

1994 - Don’t Go Breaking My Heart : RuPaul & Elton John - This is a remake of Elton’s hit from 1976, but he’s replaced singer Kiki Dee with drag superstar RuPaul. Two legendary queer icons singing a duet, of course it belongs on this list.

1994 - Girls & Boys : Blur - Blur wouldn’t have success in the USA until 1997 with the release of Song 2. However in the UK, this song of gender & sexual freedom was a hit. Girls who are boys, who likes boys to be girls, who do boys like they’re girls, who do girls like they’re boys.

1994 - Always : Erasure - Erasure frontman was the openly gay Andy Bell, and this song has him singing for a lover to accept him and be with him forever.

1994 - 100% Pure Love : Crystal Waters - Huge dance hit about being in love. There's no gender identified, and I like these lyrics near the end: You'll never have to run away, you'll always have a friend to play. You'll never go out on your own, in me you will find a home.

1994 - Basket Case : Green Day - Anxiety attacks and a feeling that you are going crazy aren’t usually topics of hit songs. He goes to a psychologist and she says it’s lack of sex that’s bringing me down. I went to a whore, he said my life’s a bore. Billy Joe Armstrong, the lead singer, came out as bi in 1995, so this lyric may have been hinting at that.

1994 - Connection : Elastica - I don’t understand how a heart is a spade, but somehow the vital connection is made. A song that references a spade while singing about intimacy, that counted as peak ace culture in the 1990′s. Asexual folks often use the ace of spades to represent their orientation.

1995 - Everlasting Love : Gloria Estefan - Because she was pregnant, Estefan didn't appear in the video and instead had 5 drag queens impersonate her. The LGBT community had embraced her and this is seen as her embracing them back.

1995 - I Kissed a Girl : Jill Sobule - A song of yearning, confusion, & freedom.

1995 - Waterfalls : TLC - Hugely successful song that addressed hard topics, including HIV/AIDS. His health is fading and he doesn't know why, three letters took him to his final resting place. In the video, a woman decides against using a condom with her boyfriend. A small twin photo frame shows her picture in one frame and a montage of all her previous lovers flashes in the other. The boyfriend with whom she didn’t use the condom notices his face getting the symptoms of AIDS and the two of them sit quietly on the edge of her bed as both the man & his picture fade away.

1995 - Queer : Garbage - The term “queer” in these lyrics meant odd or different, but Garbage welcomes how the queer community uses that word when we sing along to the song.

1995 - Il Adore : Boy George - A poignant song about those who died from AIDS. How far must it go, how near must it be before it touches you, before it touches me. Here in this cold white room tied up to these machines, it's hard to imagine life as it used to be.

1995 - I Am the Body Beautiful : Salt-n-Pepa - This song plays in the opening scenes of To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! as jaws are dropping at seeing Wesley Snipes dressed as drag queen Noxeema Jackson. At a time when most of Hip Hop was antagonistic towards the queer community, Salt-n-Pepa were not afraid to be seen as allies.

1995 - Sexuality : k.d. lang - The lyrics sound like she’s convincing a shy lover that it’s okay to be in a lesbian romance. Now how bad could it be if you should fall in love with me?

1996 – Jesus to a Child : George Michael - This heartbreaking and devastatingly beautiful song is a tribute to George’s Brazilian love, Anselmo Feleppa, who died from AIDS. This song is a glimpse of the tenderness and love they shared together. The song’s rhythm and harmony is influenced by the Brazilian bossa nova sound.

1996 - Ooh Aah... Just a Little Bit : Gina G - This song was Australian singer Gina G’s debut single and it reached No. 1 in the UK and Israel, and in the US, the song peaked at #12. Not sure why this became such a gay anthem in the UK other than it’s a cute danceable song she performed at Eurovision

1996 - I Will Survive : Diana Ross - Diana Ross is beloved by the gay community, and in the 1990′s she recorded this song which had been a gay favorite from the 1970′s. As if that’s not enough, this video is full of drag queens, including RuPaul. This was a gift to her gay fans.

1996 - Fastlove : George Michael - This guy was in a committed relationship that didn’t work out and now he just wants to not worry about romance. Had some bad love, so fast love is all that’s on my mind. But even as he’s saying he’s seeking casual hookups, he keeps saying he misses his baby, that being with someone he loves would be his preference. The video is about the chaos of modern sexuality with people choosing virtual sex partners, with many male and female options appearing.

1996 - I Want You : Savage Garden - This was Savage Garden's breakout hit. After singer Darren Hayes came out as gay in 2001, he was asked if there were songs in Savage Garden's catalog that contained any coded gay messages. He replied, "'I Want You' is a song about a dream about being in love with a male energy, and waking up and feeling sad that I knew there was a part of me that was missing." He was in the closet, married to a wife, but dreaming about men. No wonder the song has this curious vibe of wanting to be close to a person I’m attracted to but not sure I should.

1996 - Wannabe : Spice Girls - The Spice Girls’ core message is that female relationships are strong and rewarding, something the lesbian community will attest to.

1996 - It’s All Coming Back to Me Now : Celine Dion - I think Celine is popular with gays because she's a diva singer with a kitschy side. This song in particular is popular because it’s pretty dramatic for a love song, a chance to display a range of emotions at the karaoke.

1996 – Seasons of Love : Cast from the musical Rent - What is the proper way is to measure the value of a year in a human life? The most meaningful way is to measure in love. Since four of the lead characters in the show have HIV or AIDS, the song is often associated with World AIDS Day and AIDS awareness month.

1996 - Say You’ll Be There : Spice Girls - The Spice Girls' message of girl power and their iconic outfits in this video made them favorites to impersonate among the drag community

1996 - 2 Become 1 : Spice Girls - Realizing that the group had become queer icons with a large gay fanbase, the Spice Girls changed the lyrics of one line to be more inclusive when they released this single. The original lyrics were Any deal that we endeavour, boys and girls feel good together. This was changed to Once again if we endeavour, Love will bring us back together.

1997 - The Real Thing : Lisa Stansfield - In the video, Stansfield has magical abilities and she interacts with 3 people. In the final scene of the video, a gay man is by himself looking at another man who is busy talking with his friends. Stansfield walks over, sings to him and magic dust sprinkles on him. The man walks over to the other man, who leaves his friends and they walk off together.

1997 - Free : Ultra Naté - 'Cause you're free to do what you want to do. You've got to live your life, do what you want to do. You come out, grow up, and get to make your own choices and be free to become the person you want and to live your life.

1997 - Go the Distance : Michael Bolton - This song from the Disney movie Hercules is about not fitting in and declaring that no matter what struggles lie ahead, I’m going to find a place that accepts me. I have often dreamed of a far off place where a hero's welcome would be waiting for me. Where the crowds would cheer, when they see my face and a voice keeps saying this is where I'm meant to be. I'll be there someday, I can go the distance. I will find my way if I can be strong. I know every mile would be worth my while. When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong.

1997 - Pink Triangle : Weezer - The singer sees a woman he imagines he’ll marry until he sees she is wearing a pink triangle (at the time a symbol of the gay community). He’s disappointed she’s a lesbian and sings Everyone's a little queer. Can't she be a little straight? Turns out this actually happened to lead singer Rivers Cuomo while a student at Harvard, he saw a woman and fantasized about her until he saw the pink triangle on her backpack. Later he learned she’s not a lesbian but was showing support to the gay community.

1997 - Somewhere : Pet Shop Boys - The Pet Shop Boys put their spin on this song from the musical West Side Story about forbidden love and dreaming of a place where such love is accepted.

1997 - You Have Been Loved : George Michael - George Michael wrote this song about Anselmo Feleppa, who died of an AIDS-related illness in 1993. The beginning of the song describes Anselmo’s mother, who visits his grave and says goodbye, telling him You have been loved. The ending chorus has Anselmo telling George, You have been loved. The line, If I was weak, forgive me; but I was terrified, refers to the trauma George felt during Anselmo’s decline in health. While an intense song about grief and death, it also involves a spiritual struggle. What’s the use in pressing palms, if you [God] won’t keep such love from harm? It’s a cruel world. You’ve so much to prove.

1997 - Come On, Eileen : Save Ferris - This is a remake of the 1982 hit by Dexys Midnight Runners which was about getting a school girl to overcome her Catholic repression in order to be in a relationship. Only now a woman is singing about Eileen.

1997 - Free Xone : Janet Jackson - Even though the song wasn’t released as a single, it was important to the LGBT community to have one of the biggest artists of the time have a positive song on her album about gay relationships. Boy meets boy, Boy loses boy, Boy gets cute boy back. Girl meets girl, Girl loses girl, Girl gets cute girl back.

1997 - Tonight’s the Night : Janet Jackson - Janet gave Rod Stewart’s song “Tonight’s the Night” a lesbian reinterpretation.

1997 - Spice Up Your Life : Spice Girls - This is an anthem for fun where everyone, no matter their background and identity, is welcome. Every boy and every girl.

1997 - Together Again : Janet Jackson - The album notes include “I dedicate the song ‘Together Again’ to the friends I’ve lost to AIDS.” It’s a sweet song with hopeful words of one day being reunited with those we love who have died. Everywhere I go, every smile I see, I know you are there smilin’ back at me

1998 - Diva : Dana International - Dana is a trans woman who won the 1998 Eurovision Song Contest, which was the first major celebration of a trans artist on an international stage. She became a beacon of hope for many queer people in Israel.

1998 - You’re a Superstar : Love Inc. - The most poignant lyrics to me are when it says Everything you are today is what you want to be, so don't be someone else when you be the best so easily. When you can be who you are, and stop pretending to be someone you’re not, that’s when you can reach your true potential and be a superstar. Reach for the stars and hold your head up high, for tonight and every night you're a superstar.

1998 - Reflection : Christina Aguilera - This song from the Disney movie Mulan is about how others don’t know the real you, which means the lyrics can fit the experience of being in the closet. Look at me. You may think you see who I really am, but you’ll never know me. Every day it’s as if I play a part. The song is loved by a lot of trans people because how they feel on the inside doesn’t match how they look on the outside. Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don’t know?

1998 - Jumper : Third Eye Blind - This is an anti-bullying anthem. The song is about a guy who is about to jump off a bridge because he is gay, or rather, because he is bullied for being gay. We need to be accepting and understanding of each other.

1998 - Will & Grace Theme Song - This is the theme song from the groundbreaking TV show that brought fun gay characters into America’s living rooms, helping the American people become comfortable with gay people and caused many women to want a gay best friend

1998 - Nobody’s Supposed to Be Here [Hex Hector Club Mix] : Deborah Cox - The song is about a woman who’s been burned by love too many times, and she suddenly finds herself in the fairytale ending she didn’t think would happen. This was a huge hit, spending 14 weeks at the top of the R&B/Hip-Hop chart. Simultaneously, the dance remix was beloved in the LGBTQ community and catapulted Deborah Cox to gay-icon status.

1998 - Outside : George Michael - George Michael was entrapped by police into committing a lewd act in a public restroom in Los Angeles. The news of his arrest outed him to the world. He turns that experience into a song. The video mocks the way queer people are held to different standards--many couples in the video were caught getting frisky, but the gay couples are the ones arrested.

1998 - Believe : Cher - This song is about strength, power, hope, and the fact that it’s not always easy to be who you are. Whatever happens, you’ve gotta believe there’s something better coming. Keep going and loving because things will be better.

1999 - Everlasting Night : Dannii Minogue - This official theme of the 1999 Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras made Dannii a gay icon of the Australian queer community.

1999 - Strong Enough : Cher - This is sung from the perspective of Cher to a cheating lover, but one could easily interpret the lyrics to be about a repressive society that she is no longer willing to accept. It's a song about finding one's strength and moving on.

1999 - Man! I Feel Like a Woman : Shania Twain - This song delivers self-empowerment as the video challenges societal gender norms by reversing the power dynamics of Robert Palmer’s “Addicted to Love” video. I wanna be free yeah, to feel the way I feel. Man, I feel like a woman. My queer friends who identify as women love feeling like a woman.

1999 - There She Goes : Sixpence None the Richer - It’s surprising that a Christian band with a female singer does a song about being attracted to a woman who you just can’t get out of your head. There she goes. There she goes again. Racing through my brain. And I just can’t contain this feeling that remains.

1999 - G.A.Y. ★Good As You★ : Geri Halliwell - The former Spice Girl says to those who wanna dismiss her that she’s good as you (g.a.y.) and in the chorus she invites Everybody c'mon, let's get G-A-why, G-A-why

1999 - New York City Boy : Pet Shop Boys - You’re a gay young man living at home and feeling like you gotta escape? Go to New York City where you can be who you want to be.

1999 - Deceptacon : Le Tigre - Le Tigre is a female punk band that sung about feminism and the LGBT community. This song is the first track on their debut album and denounces the decline in meaningful lyrics in rock music. Before it faded away, the riot grrrl movement had addressed issues such as rape, domestic abuse, sexuality, racism, patriarchy, classism, anarchism and female empowerment. (warning, f-word in the song, which is very punk but may not be acceptable in certain settings)

1999 - Waiting for Tonight! : Jennifer Lopez - The lyrics are about waiting for tonight when the love she's dreamed of will finally come to be. Queer people often wait a for the love they dream of.

1999 - That’s the Way It Is : Celine Dion -To find true love, stay positive, keep going and love will find you if you don't give up on it. This song became beloved in the gay community for the positive message that love can be had even if it doesn’t seem likely.

1999 - Absolutely Everybody : Vanessa Amorosi - This was a hit in Australia & New Zealand and has been used as the anthem for the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras in Sydney, Australia. The lyrics are inclusive, pointing out that absolutely everybody needs friends, needs to be respected, needs to love and be loved, and needs human touch. Everybody needs a human touch. Everybody, everybody needs love. I'm no different, I am just the same, a player in the game. Absolutely everybody, everybody, everybody, absolutely everybody.

2000 - Affirmation : Savage Garden - An affirmation is a statement of your beliefs. The lyrics to this song are a series of affirmations of what Savage Garden stands for: Karma, goodness, family, and inner beauty. Singer Darren Hayes had already come out privately by the time he started writing "Affirmation,” and includes the lyric I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality, and when he performed on The Jay Leno Show, he winked at the camera on that line. Darren Hayes publicly came out in 2001.

2000 - Oops... I Did it Again : Britney Spears - In the course of a year, Britney had gone from first release to the biggest pop princess in music. Her music videos were must see. She was glitz and glam and the gay community adored her. The song is how, oops, I keep making people think I’ve fallen in love with them, but really I’m toying with them.

2000 - It’s Not Right But It’s Okay : Whitney Houston - I’m gonna be okay, I’m gonna be alright shows a certain defiance & determination to continue on and not be defeated

2000 - Proud : Heather Small - What have you done today to make you feel proud? The lyrics encourage people to find the freedom to do something extraordinary. In 2012, this song was the theme for Pride in London

2000 - Let’s Get Loud : Jennifer Lopez - Let the music make you free, be what you wanna be. Great message

2000 - Music : Madonna - The song is about partying and having fun, but it also talks about the power that music has to unite people. Music makes the people come together. Music makes the bourgeoisie and the rebel. Music can overcome differences of race, class, gender and sexuality to unite us.

2000 - Stronger : Britney Spears - This empowering song is a declaration of independence and self-empowerment. You might think that I won't make it on my own, but now I'm stronger than yesterday.

2001 - Your Disco Needs You : Kylie Minogue - There is a fun campiness to the song. This homage about going to the disco club makes it sound like we have a gay duty to go dancing.

2001 - Survivor : Destiny’s Child - I’m stronger and more resistant than you think. I'm a survivor, I'm not gon' give up. I'm not gon' stop, I'm gon' work harder. I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it. I will survive, keep on survivin'

2001 - Lady Marmalade : Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Mya, P!nk - This fabulous foursome remade Patti LaBelle’s 1974 hit song for the movie Moulin Rouge. In the video, the singers dressed glamorously in lingerie, and the sparkles & feathers along with kicking vocals ensured this song was once again embraced by the gay community

2001 - I Wanna Be Bad : Willa Ford - The lyrics contain messages of rebellion and being oneself against the influences of other people, an inspiring message that will be relevant to the queer community whether it’s 2001 or 3001.

2001 - It’s Raining Men : Geri Halliwell - In a nod to her large gay fandom, Geri recorded this 1983 gay favorite originally sung by The Weather Girls

2001 - Absolutely Not (Channel Club Extended Mix) : Deborah Cox - Always waitin' for someone to make me happy, pick me up. I realize that someone is me. It’s a song about gaining self acceptance and self confidence. Do I measure me by what you think? Absolutely not, absolutely not. I don’t need permission from others to be fabulous. Plus this dance remix is hot and was included in the show Queer as Folk.

2001 - Can’t Get You Out of My Head : Kylie Minogue - One thing about this song is how we don’t know who she’s singing about. Is it a long-time partner, a one-night stand or someone who doesn't even know she exists? It’s obsession, not love, and that’s okay because we can’t get this song out of our head. Kylie has openly embraced her gay fans and they’ve loved her in return, and it helps that she puts out one danceable pop song after another.

2001 - I’m a Slave 4 U : Britney Spears - Britney was ready to be rid of her bubblegum princess image with her iconic performance at the 2001 VMA’s when she carried an albino Burmese python on her shoulders, solidifying her status as a fierce diva.

2001 - Androgyny : Garbage - I think this song has two messages. First, don’t dismiss people who don’t fit traditional gender roles. The other message is to individuals who can’t see the point in going on, they’re reminded that nothing in life is set in stone, there’s nothing that can’t be turned around.

2001 - I Want Love : Elton John - This song is about a man who’s gone through some hard times, lost love, and as a result has some scars around his heart, and yet he still wants love.

2001 - The Middle : Jimmy Eat World - This is a song about being a teen and not fitting in. You’re in the middle of the ride and everything will be just fine, just give it some time. My favorite lyrics are Yeah, just be yourself. It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.

2001 - Keep On Livin’ : Le Tigre - This song is for LGBT individuals and also for abuse survivors. You have to deal with a lot of hard stuff but keep on, keep on livin’. Le Tigre has a dedicated page on their website called "Keep On Livin'" which contains advice from JD Samson for coming out, as well as help from Kathleen Hanna for sexual abuse survivors (Samson & Hanna co-wrote the song “Keep On Livin’”).

2001 - Overprotected : Britney Spears - Britney sings about yearning to control her destiny. There are many lyrics in this song that resonate with queer people, especially if they’re still in the closet or if they live in a home with parents who don’t accept their child is queer. I'll tell 'em what I like, what I want, and what I don't, but every time I do, I stand corrected. If you’ve ever been told to deny who you are, these lyrics slap hard: I'm so fed up with people telling me to be someone else but me

2002 - Cherry Lips (Go Baby Go) : Garbage - Cherry Lips is inspired by a fictional trans woman who is a delicate boy who is a girl with cherry lips who makes the whole world want to dance.

2002 - Anything is Possible : Will Young - Will Young became the first winner of the British show that inspired Idol franchises around the world. The song “Anything is Possible” is such a great song for someone who wins a singing competition, truly anything does seem possible in that moment. After winning Pop Idol, in order to pre-empt a tabloid newspaper that was about to out him, Young publicly announced he is gay.

2002 - Song for the Lonely : Cher - Cher is praying for you to find love and companionship.

2002 - All the Things She Said : t.a.T.u. - This music video is about two women developing feelings for each other. It was controversial for its portrayal of underage lesbians kissing and many stations, including the BBC, would only air the video after cutting the kissing scenes, which exemplifies how queer people are held to a different standard as a straight teenage couple kissing wouldn’t have caused any concern. Given Russia’s homophobic laws, it is ironic that this song is it’s biggest musical export.

2002 - Beautiful : Christina Aguilera - This song affirms those who feel they don’t fit in. It’s a message of self-empowerment and individuality. The video includes young people with body issues, a goth punk, a person assigned male at birth putting on women’s clothes, and two guys kissing. Positive images of gay and transgender people? Yes please! I am beautiful no matter what they say. Words can’t bring me down, but songs can lift you up, and this one does.

2003 - Try It on My Own : Whitney Houston - And I am not afraid to try it on my own. I don’t care If I’m right or wrong. I’ll live my life the way I feel. No matter what I’ll keep it real, you know. Time for me to do it on my own. Love that idea, I’m the one who’ll have to live with the consequences, so I’m gonna choose how I live my life

2003 - Fighter : Christina Aguilera - This empowerment anthem is using the pain caused to you by others to fuel your drive to succeed.

2003 – Defying Gravity : Idina Menzel, Kristin Chenoweth – In this song from the musical Wicked, the character Elphaba sings of how she wants to live without limits, going against the rules that others have set for her.

2003 - Gay Bar : Electric Six - The lyrics are straight forward, I wanna take you to a gay bar. The music video is fabulously crazy, singer Dick Valentine portrays Abraham Lincoln in the White House getting ready to go to a gay bar--he loses the pants, exercises, takes a bath, and dons leather gear.

2003 - All Thing (Just Keep Getting Better) : Widelife with Simone Denny - This is the theme song for the show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy which worked to build acceptance for gay people as it presented gay men as people who can help straight men up their game. This show brought gay people into America’s living rooms in a way that felt safe.

2003 - If You Were Gay : Cast from the musical Avenue Q - An irreverent musical uses puppets resembling Sesame Street’s Bert & Ernie to sing this song. It’s about how a closeted person may have trouble accepting themselves, even if their friend is affirming.

2003 - Trouble : P!nk - The video is set in the Old West. P!nk comes into town, sees the horses aren’t being well cared for and fights the men neglecting them. She goes into the saloon and is refused a drink because the sheriff thinks she might be trouble, and she affirms I’m trouble and starts a brawl. Singing along to this song is fun as I feel like I’m tough and not gonna take it anymore. You gonna disrespect me or those I care for, then I’m trouble. Fun fact, the group Pussycat Dolls weren’t recording artists at that time but known for their burlesque shows and they are in this video dancing on the bar.

2003 - I U She : Peaches - Set to a fast electronic beat, this song has a simple message: I don’t have to make the choice, I like girls and I like boys. Oh, and let's add some whips, crops, canes, whatever.

2003 - Mr. Brightside : The Killers - This song is about knowing the person you’re crushing on is with someone else and it breaks your heart. The way the song is written, it's unclear if it's the woman or the man that the singer is heartbroken about.

2003 – Me Against the Music : Britney Spears, Madonna - The music video shows Britney and Madonna in a cat-and-mouse chase. Britney finds Madonna in the end, only for the latter to disappear just before they kiss.

2004 - Toxic : Britney Spears - This song is basically a girl addicted to a guy and she’ll do anything to keep him because the taste of his lips is intoxicating. Idk why this became such an anthem in the gay community other than in the early 2000′s Britney’s presence in pop culture was dominant, and she was a supporter of the queer community, and each song she put out was empowering, sexually playful and had a sense of vulnerability.

2004 - Amazing : George Michael - George started a new relationship with Kenny, and during that time George’s mom was fighting cancer and Kenny was there for him. To be able to comfort a person in their time of grief and come out of it closer together, that’s amazing.

2004 - Somebody Told Me : The Killers - The singer says that you’re dating a boy who looks like his former girlfriend, that’s pretty queer.

2004 - Take Your Mama : Scissor Sisters - The Scissor Sisters' Jake Shears is very close to his mother and this song is about him coming out to her as gay. The song suggests taking your mama out to a gay bar to show her that we are all doing the best we can. In other words, let your mother see your friends, community, and the real you.

2004 - Proud of Your Boy : Clay Aiken - This song was written for Disney’s Aladdin and while it didn’t make the film, it was included on the CD, and later in the 2011 Broadway musical. The lyrics make me think of coming out and worrying if their parents will still be proud of [their] boy? Clay came out as gay a few years later in 2008.

2004 - Flawless (Go to the City) : George Michael - Seizing the day and enjoying life by moving to the big city where you can be out and flawless is a storyline that resonates with many queer people. You're wasted here, you're a star in this small town of hand-me-downs who don't even know it.

2004 - Michael : Franz Ferdinand - At a dance party, two friends seem to become more than friends. Michael, you're the boy with all the leather hips, sticky hair, sticky hips, stubble on my sticky lips

2004 - Walking with a Ghost : Tegan and Sara - Thanks to a popular cover by the White Stripes, this is the song that brought twin sisters Tegan and Sara to people’s attention. This song is about being haunted by memories of her former romantic partner. No matter which way you go, no matter which way you stay, you're out of my mind, out of my mind.

2004 - Viz : Le Tigre - "Viz" is short for visibility, and this song is about butch-lesbian visibility

2004 - I Believe in You : Kylie Minogue - This song was written by Kylie together with the Scissor Sisters (a band where four of its five members are openly gay men who sing songs addressing queer topics), it’s no wonder this swirling disco-esque hit was embraced by the gay community

2005 - Hung Up : Madonna - This song is about living your best life and not wasting any more time on men who won’t call, and it includes that synthesizer riff from ABBA’s “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)”

2006 - Standing in the Way of Control : Gossip - The song was written by lead singer Beth Ditto as a response to the Federal Marriage Amendment which would have constitutionally outlawed same-sex marriage in the United States. Beth said: "Nobody in the States was that surprised or shocked by what Bush did, but it made everyone I know feel helpless and cheated. I wrote the chorus to try and encourage people not to give up. It's a scary time for civil rights, but I really believe the only way to survive is to stick together and keep fighting."

2006 - Sorry : Madonna - I don't wanna hear. I don't wanna know. Please don't say 'forgive me.' I've seen it all before and I can't take it anymore. You've gone too far and a simple apology won't fix this, time to stand up for myself and leave you.

2006 - Cowboys Are Frequently, Secretly Fond of Each Other : Willie Nelson - Willie Nelson’s long-time friend and tour manager came out of the closet which prompted Willie to release this song which queerifies the stereotypes associated with cowboys (and in truth, gay cowboys were common back in the day, but most people today are not aware of this). Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other. Say, what do you think all them saddles and boots was about?

2006 - Fashionista : Jimmy James - This fiercely campy song is an homage to high fashion and goes out to all the queens who know how to serve. Fashion is the art, designers are the gods. Models play the part of angels in the dark. The song pokes fun at the self-seriousness of the fashion set and uses the artificiality of fashion as a metaphor for life

2006 - One : U2, Mary J. Blige - A remake of the 1992 hit about the difficulty of a son coming out to his religious father.

2006 - Take Me or Leave Me : Idina Menzel, Tracie Thoms - This song from Rent has become one of the great breakup songs, and is sung between two polar opposite women: flirty Maureen and controlling Joanne

2006 - The Wings : Gustavo Santaolalla - This is the theme song from the movie Brokeback Mountain which was about the complex emotional and sexual relationship between two men in the 1960′s. The song itself is an instrumental. It begins as a guitar solo, then another instrument is added, and this is followed by a large instrumentation. I think it’s a way of showing the more we share our life with others the richer the music is we produce.

2006 - Valerie : Mark Ronson feat. Amy Winehouse - Amy sings about yearning for her old lover Valerie. In this accoustic version the passion and desperation in her voice is so convincing. Well my body's been a mess and I've missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress. Won't you come on over? Stop making a fool out of me. Why don't you come on over Valerie?

2006 - An Easier Affair : George Michael - I told myself I was straight but I shouldn't have worried ‘cause my maker had a better plan for me. I love that lyric! George tells us life is a much easier affair without hiding in the closet and not worrying about the haters.

2006 - I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’ : Scissor Sisters - This song is a response to the Bee Gees disco hit "You Should Be Dancing." Jake Shears called this "The happiest-sounding song ever written about staying in and feeling miserable."

2006 - Boys Wanna Be Her : Peaches - The singer has a magnetic presence & control over people. You've got them all by the balls, causing waterfalls. Stonewalls, bar brawls, climbing stalls at concert halls. The chorus recognizes her universal appeal as the boys wanna be her, the girls wanna be her, they desire her qualities and confidence. The second verse is about her musical prowess, talent, and individuality. The way you rock non-stop, girl, you got the chops. Flip-flop, she bop, self-taught, your licks are hot. Her power comes from being unapologetically herself, finding her voice, and defying gender conventions.

2006 - I’m Gay : Bowling for Soup - The song uses the word ‘gay’ in the old-fashioned sense to mean ‘happy,’ but they do so tongue-in-cheek. In the chorus they encourage everyone to say "I’m gay!” I want to hear you say, "I'm gay!" (I'm gay!) Say, "I'm gay!" (I'm gay!).

2006 - And I am Telling You I’m Not Going : Jennifer Hudson - This song is about an underdog,. And I am telling you that I’m not going. I’m going to be here and I’m going to thrive, I’m going to be me and you’re going to see me and you’re gonna love me.

2007 - Grace Kelly : MIKA - Mika felt frustrated with record label executives who wanted him to change his sound to be more like another singer. Mika wrote “Grace Kelly” to reject the idea of pretending to be someone else to win approval. We love Mika because he’s authentically queer and has no interest in conforming.

2007 - Billy Brown : MIKA - It was all going according to plan for Billy Brown--he had a wife, two kids and a dog. Then he fell in love with another man. A tale of bisexual awakening.

2007 - My Interpretation : MIKA - This is a gay breakup song. He doesn’t want to talk with his ex about why their relationship ended, because I have my interpretation and don’t need to hear your version. This is not about emotion. I don't need a reason not to care what you say, or what happened in the end. And it don't have to make no sense to you at all 'cause this is my interpretation

2007 - Verbatim : Mother Mother - Sexuality isn’t determined by our behavior but by who we’re attracted to. I wear women's underwear and then I go to strike a pose in my full length mirror. I cross my legs just like a queer, but my libido is strong when a lady is near, ya. What defines a straight man's straight?

2007 - Touch Up : Mother Mother - All my makeup, it has washed off. I need a touch up. He uses makeup and skincare as a way of renovating or updating his image, not something a male singer would typically sing about.

2007 - Dear Mr. President (feat. Indigo Girls) : P!nk - This song criticizes George W. Bush’s presidency, including the Iraq War, No Child Left Behind Act, opposition to gay marriage and the gay rights movement, and a lack of empathy for poor and middle-class citizens. This lyric, though: And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay. The song features vocals from the Indigo Girls, both of whom are lesbians.

2007 - Love Today : MIKA - The song tells stories about people who want to find love in many different ways. Everybody is looking for someone to love and to be loved back, or maybe they’re looking to get laid, it all depends on how you want to interpret the lyrics, but however you interpret it, we want love today.

2007 - That’s Not My Name : The Ting Tings - This is a song for anyone who’s been disrespected by being deadnamed. The Ting Tings are a duo made of Katie White and Jules De Martino, who aren’t just musical partners but also romantic partners.

2007 - Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) : MIKA - Mika covers this 1983 Eurythmics’ anthem of resilience. This song acknowledges that sometimes life is hard, some people want to use or abuse you, but hold your head up, and keep moving on and you’re sure to have sweet dreams.

2007 - I Don’t Dance : Corbin Bleu & Lucas Grabeel - This song from High School Musical 2 is where Chad, co-president of the drama club, is trying to get Ryan, co-president of the basketball team, to “swing” to the other side, if you know what I mean. The scene in the movie is about playing baseball, and at the end of it, the two of them are sitting together wearing the other’s clothes. Guess Chad got Ryan to swing.

2007 - Gimme More : Britney Spears - After months of having her personal life made very public, Britney used this song to make a comeback. Her performance at the MTV Video Music Awards was criticized as lackluster and lots of people commented on whether she’d ever recover. Gay YouTuber Chris Crocker became an overnight sensation, pleading for people to “Leave Britney alone!” Britney survived, bounced back, and 9 of her 13 top 10 hits came after this.

2007 - Happy Ending : MIKA - Not every saga or relationship lasts joyously forever, some will not have a happy ending. Find hope from the despair and that is how to start on an even more beautiful story that leads to a happy ending.

2007 - Untouched : The Veronicas - There's nothing explicitly queer in the lyrics of this song, but it rocks and is sung by a queer singer & an ally. The Veronicas is a band of 2 twin sisters from Australia, Lisa and Jessica Origliasso. Jessica identifies as queer and sexually fluid, she has had high-profile relationships with women and men. Lisa marched in support of gay marriage in California, and both sisters joined the "Wear it with Pride" campaign to overturn discrimination against same-sex couples in Australia.

2007 - Lollipop : MIKA - “Lollipop” is a song in which Mika is warning against falling in love too fast. You should live your life to the fullest, and not let loneliness get in the way of happiness, do not live your life waiting for love.

2008 - Back in Your Head : Tegan and Sara - I think this song is about a relationship that has gotten so comfortable that it’s become a friendship and not a romance. This lyric is brilliant: Build a wall of books between us in our bed, going to bed has turned into reading book after book until the lights go out, no longer any hint there might be a sexual spark. While the lyrics don’t indicate the gender of their partner, given it’s a song by twin sisters who are both lesbian, we can assume it’s about a girlfriend.

2008 - Just Dance : Lady Gaga feat. Colby O’Donis - This is Gaga’s first hit and she tells herself to just dance and everything will be okay. Whatever hard things are going on in our life, sometimes we have to take a break and dance. Lady Gaga performed this at the inaugural NewNowNext Awards, which were broadcast on the Logo network which is a channel aimed at the queer community

2008 - I Kissed a Girl : Katy Perry - Katy has a boyfriend, but she kissed a girl and liked it. Don’t pretend you don’t want to run to the nearest drugstore for some cherry chapstick after listening to this song.

2008 - This is Me : Demi Lovato - This song from Camp Rock wasn't purposefully queer but has become a coming-out song

2008 - Hayloft : Mother Mother : In 2020, asking someone, “Hey, do you listen to Mother Mother?” is essentially asking if someone is nonbinary. This is because on TikTok people frequently used the lead-in instrumentals of the song “Hayloft” on videos when someone talks about discoveries regarding their identity that distinguishes them from their cisgender peers.

2008 - Burning Pile : Mother Mother : In this song, a man gathers up all his problems and burns them. Life can be complicated and how nice it would be to gather up all the complications of our life and be rid of them.

2008 - Body : Mother Mother - The song “Body” details a process of casting off limbs and organs by the singer because they’ve grown tired of this body, a cumbersome and heavy body, which works as a gender dysphoria anthem.

2008 - Arms Tonite : Mother Mother - While it may be a fluke that their music became associated with being nonbinary, many Mother Mother songs challenge conformity and participation in cis-normative societal roles.

2008 - Poker Face : Lady Gaga - “Poker Face” is all about masking your thoughts. During a performance in 2009, Gaga explained that the song is about her personal experience with bisexuality. When she’s with a man but fantasizing about a woman, she’s got a “Poker Face” so he won’t know what is going through her mind.

2008 - Womanizer : Britney Spears - There’s a stereotype that gay people walk quickly and the joke is it’s because we have “Womanizer” by Britney Spears (140 bpm) playing in our heads.

2008 - Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) : Beyoncé - What is it about songs of strong women that gay men love, especially if they’re danceable? Beyoncé is a diva loved by gay men and she reciprocates the love. In 2013, Beyoncé said she supported marriage equality. “If you like it you should be able to put a ring on it.” There have been countless videos uploaded of gay men performing to this song.

2009 - Cover Girl : RuPaul - The theme song to RuPaul’s Drag Race, the TV show which brought Drag performance and culture to the masses.

2009 - Diva : Beyoncé - Beyoncé’s is loved by gay men, trans women, and drag queens love to perform her songs. And this song feels like she acknowledges this as she repeatedly states “I’m a diva.”

2009 - The Climb : Miley Cyrus - Miley sings of perseverance and overcoming self-doubt. The song inspires everyone to keep going. Whether you’re in search of a dream or going through a difficult time, learn to appreciate the long journey to a better place.

2009 - If U Seek Amy : Britney Spears - “If U Seek Amy” is a song that lets you see either a dirty pun, or her sexual interest in a woman, or both. Love me, hate me. Say what you want about me, but all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy (F.U.C.K me).

2009 - Love Who You Love : Rascal Flatts - This song was written as a reminder to show affection to the people closest to you, as you never know when it will be too late. Singer Gary LeVox said this track also can be interpreted as a message of support towards the gay community.

2009 - When Love Takes Over : David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland - When you grow up ashamed of who you are, that’s complicated and it takes time to be ready to love someone. But when we fall in love it feels so good and wonderful, that’s when love takes over from shame. Letting ourselves live & love is a way to show pride in ourselves.

2009 - Love Story : The Scene Aesthetics - This acoustic/indie pop band did a cover of Taylor Swift’s song “Love Story.” Having two males sing the love lyrics to each other gives the song a new feel.

2009 - Heavy Cross : Gossip - This song was the first international hit for Gossip, reaching the top ten across Europe, yet lesbian lead singer Beth Ditto, who is outspoken in support of LGBT and feminist causes, isn’t well known in her home country of the USA. Beth exclaims that life is very hard alone. It's a cruel cruel world, to face on your own, a heavy cross, to carry alone.

2009 - Bulletproof : La Roux - The song is about a girl who has been through a lot of bad relationships and hopes that next time maybe I'll be bulletproof, meaning she hopes she doesn't get hurt when things go wrong. Singer Elly Jackson was vague in answering questions about her sexuality. She had a girlfriend at the time but worried what coming out would mean for her career. She feels androgynous but more feminine than masculine, and she doesn’t call herself “gay”, “straight” or “bisexual,” she doesn’t like labels.

2009 - F*ck You : Lily Allen - The song was written as a protest against George W. Bush and his homophobia, but the song took on a bigger meaning after Prop 8, an anti-gay marriage state constitutional amendment, was passed in California. This song is now used against all kind of homophobia.

2009 - Butch : Saint Motel - While her dad is gone, she sneaks into his room and puts on his clothes. A guy shows up at the house and sees her, is she a butch lesbian or possibly trans? I’m into you, but what am I into? A girl or are you a guy? Being into someone even if you aren’t sure of their gender is so queer.

2009 - We Are Golden : MIKA - This song is a celebration of youth. The video has Mika dancing around his teenage bedroom in his underpants. Mika has said the song's theme is about a person’s burgeoning sexuality. With that in mind, these lyrics hint that teenager Mika would eventually come out as gay: We are not what you think we are, and I was running from the things that you’d say.

2009 - Toy Boy : MIKA -This is a song done in 3 scenes. Scene 1 is about a boy who was dating another boy. His boyfriend’s mama says it is wrong to sleep with a boy and she says homosexuality is a serious thing in a grown-up world and for her son he would be better with a Barbie girl. Consequently he dumps the man who loves him. In scene 2, the man who was dumped is now in an unhappy marriage with a woman. His wife treats him like a toy whom she dresses like the man of her dreams, then puts him away when she's done with him. He's not himself in this marriage. In the final scene, he reminisces of how he once had a boy who loved him but now (thanks to the mom) is afraid of being with him. He hopes that in the future when his ex-boyfriend looks back, he’ll remember their time fondly, and he’ll use the tragic story of his former love to teach his son to seek happiness and love.

2009 - I See You : MIKA - The song is about being in a room with someone and having romantic thoughts & feelings about them, but not having the courage to say anything. You don’t know how they’d react so you resign yourself to simply getting to see them.

2009 - Bad Romance : Lady Gaga - First, it’s gender neutral so any of us can sing without translating pronouns. Second, it’s about loving someone completely, including their “bad” parts. I want your ugly, I want your disease. Third, Lady Gaga showed up to the 2010 MTV Music Awards with four members of the U.S. military who had been discharged or resigned because of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. When she went on stage to receive the Video of the Year award for “Bad Romance,” Gaga wore the now-famous meat dress as a way to show her anger about the military’s anti-LGBTQ policy. “If we don’t stand up for what we believe in and if we don’t fight for our rights, pretty soon we’re going to have as much rights as the meat on our bones.”

2009 - For Your Entertainment : Adam Lambert - After a successful run on Season 8 of American Idol, Adam debuted his first single at the 2009 American Music Awards. The performance featured various dancers in bondage gear, included 2 guys Lambert led around by a leather rope, and Adam kissed the man playing keyboards. It was a bit much for many watching.

2009 - Whataya Want From Me : Adam Lambert - I wonder if this song is referencing when he was figuring out his sexuality with words like Yeah, it’s plain to see, baby you’re beautiful and there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s me, I’m a freak.

2009 - Rain : MIKA - Mika wrote a break-up letter to say it didn’t seem like his ex did anything special for him, didn’t do anything to show he loved Mika. He was left feeling ordinary, he wanted more than that. Mika decided turning that letter into a song would feel empowering.

2009 - Someday : Rob Thomas - This song hopes that someday the problems of today will be worked out. At the time, same-sex marriage was still illegal in most of the US and this song was embraced as hope that Someday we will have this fixed.

2010 - Diplomat’s Son : Vampire Weekend - This song is about 2 boys who are best friends. One of them has had a crush on his friend for a long time but never thought there was a chance anything could happen. Then one night he tells his friend that he likes him as more than just a friend, and they wind up sleeping together. In the morning, he wakes up to find his best friend is gone. Maybe this indicates it wasn’t love, just his friend experimenting, so the young man decides to end his life by jumping into a river by his home in the middle of the winter.

2010 - Telephone : Lady Gaga feat. Beyonce - A song with both Gaga and Bey is just as fabulous as it gets. Original Queer Eye culture expert Jai Rodriguez has a cameo appearance as a reporter, sealing the deal: a new queer classic song is born.

2010 - Fearless Love : Melissa Etheridge - The song’s first line is I was 17, you kissed my lips. Etheridge explained “It was the first time I kissed a girl…It was intense going through that experience and having the fireworks go off: ‘Oh my God, this is greatest thing ever! This is what all my girlfriends have been talking about when they kiss boys’ and stuff." Regarding the lyric, You are what you are afraid of, Melissa said "If you say, 'Oh I’m afraid of this’ and it stops you from doing, then you become what you are afraid of.”

2010 - Cold War : Janelle Monáe - The song starts off saying being alone’s the only way to be. When you step outside, you spend life fighting for your sanity. The song says this is a cold war but if the weak unite and have faith in love, the mighty will crumble. So powerful. Alone we feel weak and need to hide, but united we are strong. This is followed by I was made to believe there was something wrong with me. Janelle has said this and additional songs about being “other” are related to her being a queer Black woman and people in all those identities can identify with the message.

2010 - Blame it on the Girls : MIKA - This song is about how people don’t appreciate what they have and try to find others to blame for their problems. In the song, a handsome, rich man seems to have it all, yet is still unhappy. Instead of taking responsibility for his choices of how he spends his time and money, he blames others. The chorus has very bi vibes. Blame it on the girls who know what to do. Blame it on the boys who keep hitting on you...Blame it on the girls. Blame it on the boys. Blame it on the girls. Blame it on the boys.

2010 - Not Myself Tonight : Christina Aguilera - Donned in leather, ball gags, whips, the lyrics say ‘I’m kissing all the boys and the girls’

2010 - Dancing on my Own : Robyn - It’s a post-break up song. Somebody said you got a new friend. Does she love you better than I can? But with a great dance beat like this, it’s a sure bet Robyn won’t be dancing on her own for long.

2010 - Alejandro : Lady Gaga - In the video, Gaga dresses in a red latex nun outfit, eats a rosary, and intermingled with the Catholic imagery are clear references to gay love.

2010 - Ain’t No Son : Court Yard Hounds - Court Yard Hounds is a side project of the two sisters from Dixie Chicks. The song was written after watching a documentary of families who throw their young sons out of the house when they find out their child is gay.

2010 - If I Had You : Adam Lambert - I love how the beginning sounds like Adam is going out to a gay club. So I got my boots on, got the right amount of leather, and I’m doing me up with a black color liner, and I’m working my strut. Not the way we usually hear about a guy getting ready for a night out.

2010 - Feel It in My Bones : Tiësto feat. Tegan and Sara - Tiësto teamed up with our favorite lesbian twin sisters Tegan and Sara for this song where one person in a relationship has been betrayed or hurt. They feel the hurt in their bones. They were knocked down and manage to pick themselves back up and let go of the person who caused the hurt and reclaim their strength. But love, even when it’s lost, continues to have a hold on us and it’s difficult to move on.

2010 - Football Song : Matt Fishel - The lyrics are sung from the perspective of a young gay schoolboy with a crush on the straight captain of the school’s football (soccer) team. It is ambiguous whether or not the relationship between the two is real or in the narrator’s mind.

2010 - Te Amo : Rihanna - A woman says to Rihanna te amo, which means “I love you.” Rihanna’s response is I feel the love, but I don’t feel that way. The lyrics may find Rihanna hesitant to love this other woman, but the video tells another story as Rihanna initially resists the seduction, but eventually gives in to the woman’s charm.

2010 - All the Lovers : Kylie Minogue - A feel-good track about love and dancing your fears away. The video has people strip down to their underwear, form a pyramid, and begin kissing. Definite pansexual vibes.

2010 - Mine : Taylor Swift - This is a song about a careless man’s careful daughter going off to college and falling in love with a small-town waitress. That’s it, that’s the song.

2010 - Ice Cream Truck : Cazwell - It’s a cute, simple and upbeat 1980’s-style summer anthem that conveys happiness about being gay. The video is delightfully raunchy, a bunch of shirtless male dancers licking popsicles.

2010 - Whip My Hair : Willow Smith - The song is a message of self-love, to be yourself and don’t let anyone tell you that's wrong. To whip your hair with such abandon takes a certain self-confidence and willingness to have fun no matter what others think. Willow would later come out as bisexual, stating "I love men and women equally". She also supports polyamorous relationships.

2010 - Best Thing About Me is You : Ricky Martin - Earlier in the year, Ricky Martin officially came out as gay. The video features couples, mostly interracial queer couples. Life is short so make it what you wanna. Make it good, don’t wait until mañana

2010 - Raise Your Glass : P!nk - Lyrics like these are relatable: So raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways, all my underdogs. Ignore convention and just let loose. Plus, the video has her singing at a gay wedding.

2010 - Far Away : Marsha Ambrosius - Marsha wrote this song after a gay friend attempted suicide because of the abuse he experienced. The video has scenes of gay bashing and homophobia. She sings of her sadness at missing her friend.

2010 - Pretty Girl Rock : Keri Hilson - Keri is an LGBTQ ally. When asked about this song, she answered, "there’s so many 'rules’ to society’s view of beauty. I wanted to dispel that and get rid of that. We’re all beautiful in our own unique ways, you just have to find that happy place within yourself.” The video has Keri dressed as a star from 9 different decades, from the 1920’s all the way to herself in 2010 and is her “way of paying homage to groundbreaking women, strong women who were fearless and so bold and so confident that they made women feel that way. And I hope to do the same.”

2010 - We R Who We R : Ke$ha - After a news story that bullying leads to suicides of gay youth, she was upset people have to hide themselves and pretend to be someone other than who they are in order to be safe. Ke$ha wrote this song in hopes it would become a Pride anthem and it is intended to inspire people to be themselves, celebrate who you are, and to celebrate anyone deemed quirky or eccentric.

2010 - Firework : Katy Perry - Everyone is a firework, they have an ordinary or insignificant wrapping, but in the right situation they ignite and show how amazing, extraordinary, and beautiful each of us is. The video features a scene in which two boys passionately kiss. Katy Perry dedicated this song to the It Gets Better video campaign aimed at queer youth who may feel alone or suicidal.

2010 - Teenage Dream : Glee Cast - Having this song being sung by one boy for another was a big moment on a popular TV show.

2010 - Back to December : Taylor Swift - She spends all summer with someone and then autumn rolls around and she realizes she love them. The bonus is already knowing their family from when you were best friends before the relationship changed. Then ending everything with them because you’re scared. Could this get any gayer? Plus there’s no gendered pronouns in this song, a common way to slip a gay love song past the straights.

2010 - F**kin’ Perfect : P!nk - With all the negative messages we grow up hearing and believing about our gender identity or sexual orientation, these lyrics are so powerful: You’re so mean when you talk about yourself. You were wrong. Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead.

2011 - Born This Way : Lady Gaga - Many songs hint at queer identities and acceptance by using metaphors, but not this one, it is direct. No matter gay, straight, or bi, lesbian, transgender life, I’m on the right track, baby, I was born to survive. The hype song is a battle cry for equality.

2011 - We All Try : Frank Ocean - Frank Ocean sings of losing faith in mankind as the LGBTQIA+ community struggles to find acceptance. I believe that marriage isn’t between a man and woman, but between love and love, and I believe you when you say you’ve lost all faith, but you must believe in something. He reassures the queer community that I just don’t believe we’re wicked, I know that we sin but I do believe we try.

2011 - Call Your Girlfriend : Robyn - Robyn is telling her two-timing partner (is it a man or a woman, who knows?) to end things with their girlfriend, and advises them on how to do it gently. Call your girlfriend. It’s time you had the talk. Give your reasons. Say it’s not her fault but you just met somebody new.

2011 - Run the World (Girls) : Beyoncé - If girls did run the world maybe we’d be better off!

2011 - Turn it Off : Cast of The Book of Mormon musical - A funny song that talks about turning off sad or uncomfortable feelings, this includes a gay Mormon missionary turning off his gay feelings.

2011 - Americano : Lady Gaga - The scenario is she has fallen in love with a girl from East L.A. (which has a mostly Hispanic population) but they can’t marry due to the laws prohibiting gay marriage. As to the I don’t speak your Americano, I don’t speak your language oh no, I don’t speak your Jesus Cristo, I think it’s rejecting the religious rhetoric used to justify the laws.

2011 - Make it Stop (September’s Children) : Rise Against - The song & video are about the bullying and harassment of LGBTQ youth, driving them to the point of suicide. The lead singer says the song’s message is “it can get better, it does get better, give it a chance to get better, don’t end your life prematurely.” The video was a collaboration with the It Gets Better Project, a nonprofit organization that aims to prevent suicide within the LGBTQ community

2011 - I Wanna Go : Britney Spears - Britney sings a song poking fun at her past. Lately people got me all tied up. There’s a countdown waiting for me to erupt. Time to blow out.

2011 Love On Top : Beyonce - This is a jam by Queen B and she sings of her partner treating her like a Queen, putting her above everything. That’s the kind of love we all want.

2011 – Call Me Maybe : Carly Rae Jepsen - The video begins with Carly Rae spying on her attractive neighbor as he is working on his lawn. She tries to get his attention with various provocative poses only for her neighbor to give his phone number to Carly Rae’s male band mate

2011 - We Found Love : Rihanna feat. Calvin Harris - Finding love in a hopeless place, for many queer people this can be what it’s like in a heteronormative society, especially for someone in the closet…which can feel hopeless, and then love is found

2011 - The First Time : Matt Fishel - Fishel said of the song: “The first time I kissed another boy was an amazing, life-changing moment for me. I can remember the day it happened really vividly and I [wanted] to write a song about all those feelings of warmth and nostalgia that come from that first special moment.”

2011 - Who You Are : Jessie J - The song acknowledges it’s okay to be sad sometimes as you figure out who you are, but be true to who you are and don’t become somebody else.

2011 - Everybody Talks : Neon Trees - TikTok has made this the pansexual anthem and it has joined a list of music that is code for sexual orientation & gender identity. “Do you listen to Girl in Red?” “No, I listen to Everybody Talks.” In other words, “Are you a lesbian?” “No, I’m pansexual.” The song itself is about gossip. Tyler Glenn, the lead singer, says this is about a girl who spread rumors that he was gay, so yeah, It started with a whisper, and that was when I kissed her, and then she made my lips hurt.

2011 - Take a Bow : Matt Alber - A beautiful, heartfelt cover of the 1994 Madonna song with just a guitar for accompaniment. An openly gay man singing the words to his male lover.

2011 – Titanium : David Guetta feat. Sia – The openly queer singer Sia wrote this song about enduring everything the world throws at you and coming out stronger.

Link to My Queer Playlist - Part 1 songs from 1939 to 1993

Link to My Queer Playlist - Part 3 songs from 2012 to 2017

Link to My Queer Playlist - Part 4 songs from 2018 to present

Link to my Queer Disney Songs Playlist

Link to my K-Pop Queer Playlist

Link to my Queer Religious Playlist

#queer playlist #long post

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avengerscompound · 4 years

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Bartoned - Chapter 39

Bartoned - A Hawkeye Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Rating: E

Warnings: Drinking, Smut (MF, drunk sex, oral sex, vaginal sex, terrible dirty talk)

Pairing: Clint Barton x F!Reader

Word Count: 2029

Summary: Clint’s name has become synonymous with fucking things up. When you have a one night stand with him, your whole life gets Bartoned.

Chapter 39

October came with a flurry of activity. Dress fittings and bridal showers. Meetings with your celebrant and caterers. Getting your IUD taken out. Clint was up to something with Nat, Wanda, and Kari but you couldn’t work out what. You kept catching them together anytime you got home early from something. They all played dumb and acted like they were just hanging out, but you knew there was more to it.

Clint had his bachelor party a week before the wedding. Natasha basically organized a repeat of Steve’s only with twice the debauchery. You received a lot of photos over the course of the night of Clint in various compromising positions.

Yours was happening the night before the wedding and you were a little worried you might end up regretting it. Kari came and got you in the midmorning and you kissed Clint and Nattie goodbye and gave the dog a pat before being led out to a limo already holding Natasha and Wanda.

A glass of champagne was pressed into your hand before you even had your seatbelt on. “So what’s the plan?” You asked.

“We’re going to have lunch at the Russian Tea Room. Then we’re going to go to a spa. Then we’re going to a Tiki Bar for dinner, drinks, dancing, and karaoke,” Kari explained.

“You trying to wipe me out for tomorrow?” You asked.

“Sure am,” Kari teased. “I wanna look better than you do.”

You laughed. “You know there’s a flaw in your plan, Kari? You’re gonna be there too.”

“Damnit,” she joked and took a long drink of her own glass of champagne.

“Who’s looking after the boys?” You asked.

“Steve and Bucky,” Wanda explained. “With Sam on rescue duty if things get too much for them.”

“That’s good. I’m sure they’ll do fine though,” you said. “Hope that Doreen can handle all of them tomorrow.”

You had hired Doreen back for the night at almost triple her usual rate to watch all the kids. They’d be there at the wedding anyway, but it meant the parents got a little bit of time off and she’d take them all to a hotel nearby so they could get some sleep once they were bored of it.

“We won’t be far away if she gets in trouble,” Kari said. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. She is trained for it.”

“Besides, Emilio has that thing where he thinks he’s responsible for his siblings' wellbeing,” Wanda explained. “He’ll be watching Cruz and Isabella like a hawk.”

“Okay, enough parenting talk,” Kari announced. “Guess what?”

“What?” You asked.

“You’re getting married tomorrow!” She cheered.

Everyone let out a ‘Woo!’ and clinked their glasses together.

The day seemed to degenerate as you went along. Lunch at the Russian Tea Room included family members and your closest friends. It was a classy affair with everyone on their best behavior in the iconic New York restaurant. Natasha complained that the beluga caviar wasn’t actually beluga caviar but generally everyone enjoyed themselves.

You then continued on to the spa with around half of the people who were at your lunch. It was very relaxing but Kari and Natasha kept messing with you so you spent half the time in hysterical laughter while being scolded for cracking mud masks or not relaxing properly.

Your group then went to Tiki Chick where everything quickly devolved. A lot more people met you there, including old school friends, family, people from your paramedic days, and people you’d met through the Avengers, the entire group filling the bar. The whole venue had been booked out and the tables soon became full of cocktails both shared and individual in novelty cups and glasses. You started out by sharing a huge rum punch with Wanda, Kari, and Natasha while you attempted to line your stomach with a burger so you didn’t get too completely drunk.

It didn’t work very well. Half an hour in and you were already well on your way to drunk and when the karaoke machine was wheeled out, you were drunk enough that you wanted to be the first one to sing. Half a dozen bad renditions of 80s rock ballads later and the stripper showed up.

You had thought that getting a stripper would be a little tacky and you wouldn’t be able to get into it that much. It wasn’t like you had a lack of extremely hot men in your life.

You were wrong.

Kari had hired a Clint look alike and he came in wearing what looked like a purple gladiator skirt you squealed with excitement and took your seat in the middle of the room. ‘Stripper’ was a generous term really. The guy was mostly naked when he got there, but he oiled himself up and gyrated on your lap, making you run your hands over his chest and butt as he danced. When he did strip off what clothing he did have, he had you lie on the ground while he did push-ups over you, much to the delight of every other woman there.

It was one in the morning by the time you were all kicked out and you were glad you were having an afternoon ceremony.

“Alright, let’s get you to your hotel room, Mrs. Barton,” Kari said as you stumbled into the back of the limousine.

“No…” you slurred. “I wanna go home.”

“Honey,” Wanda said gently. “You have a hair appointment and ten in Brooklyn and it’s over a two-hour drive from here to home even when there’s no traffic.”

“Don’t care,” you mumbled. “You’re going home aren’t you?”

“Yes,” she agreed. “But you have your hotel room.”

“Wanna go home!” You shouted.

“Oh my god,” Kari groaned and ran her hands down her face.

Natasha tapped on the partition that divided you from the driver. “Change of plans, we’re all going back to the compound.”

“Thank you, Tasha,” you mumbled, curling up against her side.

“You’re welcome, zoloste,” she said, wrapping an arm around you. “Try and get a little sleep in on the car ride.”

“And just so you know,” Kari said. “If I only get 3 hours of sleep because of you, Imma kill you.”

You closed your eyes and gave her the finger making Natasha laugh loudly.

Thankfully all four of you did get some sleep on the limo ride home. By the time the car was pulling up outside your house, you’d gotten two solid sleep cycles in. You had sobered up a bit, but you were definitely still feeling it when you stumbled inside.

You tripped over the dog as you let yourself inside making him yelp and you crouched down guiltily and patted him. “I’m so sorry, puppy. I didn’t see you. And to be honest, I’m kind of drunk.”

He seemed to forgive you, licking your face excitedly as he wagged his tail. Clint appeared at the top of the stairs and looked down at you confused. “Honey?” He said, softly. “Aren’t you supposed to be at the hotel.”

You stood and wound your way to him. “Wanted to see you,” you said when you reached him, tapping him on the chest.

“Isn’t it bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding?” He asked, wrapping an arm around your waist and supporting you as the two of you made your way upstairs.

“Fuck that,” you said. “I like it better when you’re in my bed.”

He chuckled softly. “Might want to modulate your voice there, babe,” he teased. “Gonna wake Nattie up.”

He got you through the door and started to help you out of your clothes. “Did you have fun?”

“Mm-hmm…” you hummed as you flopped back on the bed and let Clint strip you off. “The stripper kinda looked like you. But not as hot.”

“That’s nice to hear,” he teased. “Come on, get into bed. It’s very late.”

“Nuh-uh,” you said grabbing the hem of his pajama shirt. “I want your penis inside my vagina.”

Clint laughed so hard he snorted. “That's the best futzing dirty talk I've ever heard.”

“Please, Clint,” you whined. “I want you so fucking bad. And it's my wedding day.”

Clint couldn’t stop laughing and he leaned down and kissed your temple. “How can I say no to that?”

You grinned and yanked down his pajama pants and nosed up his cock, placing small kisses and kitten-licking up his shaft as it hardened under your attention. You pulled it into your mouth, still semi-erect, and began to suck. Clint groaned and bunched his hands in your hair, his cock hardening fully in your mouth. You slowly bobbed your head up and down his shaft as you massaged and tugged on his balls. He let his head fall back and his hand slipped between your legs and he began to finger your clit, matching the slow pace you were setting as you sucked up and down his shaft.

As you moved faster up and down, his finger circled faster over your clit. You moaned around his cock and dropped your head down, your lips pressing flush against his groin as you deepthroated him.

“Fuck,” he groaned and patted your thigh. “If you want my penis to go into your vagina tonight you might wanna get up on the bed.”

You scrambled back up on the bed and Clint crawled up after you. He fished around in the side table as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “What are you doing?”

“Getting a condom,” he said, pulling one out of the drawer.

“No,” you complained and whacked his hand, sending the packet flying across the room.

Clint started laughing and looked down at you. “What the hell? You’re not on birth control anymore, remember?”

You looked up at him and cradled his jaw. “I said it had to wait until the wedding,” you said. “The wedding is today.”

Clint blinked down at you as he processed the words you just said. “You wanna start trying right now?”

You nodded. “Don’t you?”

In way of answer, he brought his lips to yours and kissed you deeply, his lips slowly moving with yours. You moaned into his lips and brought your knees up and with a snap of his hips, he was inside you.

His hips rolled, pushing himself deeper into you as the base of his cock rubbed against your clit. His lips never left yours, and you began to get light-headed as your lips turned numb.

As your head became fuzzy, the rest of your body began to prickle and buzz. Each thrust of Clint’s body against yours sent current after current through you. You dug your fingers into his back and moaned into his lips. Your cunt ached and dripped around his cock as he penetrated you again and again.

You fell apart, your body seizing as you came, crying out into his lips. Clint broke the kiss looking down into your eyes and picking up his pace. You groaned and bucked your hips with him. “Fuck, Clint,” you moaned. “Give it to me.”

He pulled your leg up and you began to rub your clit. You cunt clenched suddenly and another orgasm hit. You clenched your teeth and cried out arching your back as it washed through you. His hips jerked into you and he released, groaning as his cock pulsed and filled you with come.

“Fuck…” he sighed and held himself inside you as his cock stilled.

“Mm… that’s exactly what I wanted all night,” you hummed.

“All night you were thinking about fucking me?” Clint teased. “I don’t believe that.”

“Some of it,” you giggled.

Clint slipped out of you and picked up your hips, shaking you gently. “Get in there, little guys. Do your work.”

You laughed and kicked your legs. “Clint!”

He chuckled and lay down beside you, pulling you in his arms. “Alright, go to sleep,” he said. “I’m getting married tomorrow.”

“Yeah?” You asked. “Who’s the lucky lady?”

“Just some random,” he teased. “Got her knocked up and now I gotta make an honest woman of her.”

You giggled and nuzzled into him. It wasn’t too long before sleep came for you.

// NEXT

#clint barton #clint barton x reader #hawkeye #hawkeye fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #smut #bartoned

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ayellowcurtain · 3 years

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so could you possibly write about one of the eskilds finding their respective isak on grindr and then the two of them having a conversation about it (also like bonus points if it’s matteo and hans cause I love them both so much,

Matteo fluffs all his old, full of germs and allergies pillows together and throws himself against them, grabbing his phone, knowing exactly the icon he’s looking for. He stretches his legs a little open and adjusts his head against the pillows.

He doesn’t know why he still has the app, it’s not because of a fight with David that he’ll start having one night stands but he just wants to see the people that are shown to him, take his mind off of their fight, and how David left him for the night.

He scrolls instinctively left and right, not exactly sure if he’s doing right with the left side to ones that might be interesting and right to the boring ones. It doesn’t matter, he thinks, still scrolling aimlessly, not even spending enough time looking at any picture to form an actual shallow opinion about someone’s worth through their profile photo.

He could be watching a boring movie with Mia or watching Hans cook and burn their food and it would all be this exciting, he thinks ironically. Matteo should have apologized, he knows that because he’s usually the one in the wrong when they fight. He needs to learn how to be warmer, to keep his mouth shut sometimes instead of making a joke that nobody will think it’s funny.

His therapist says he uses his dry humor as a coping mechanism and Matteo actually hates it, but it happens naturally, he opens his mouth sometimes and says the wrong things and David doesn’t have the same patience Jonas or the boys have. Mia is not the best with it either, but she’ll just leave him talking to himself, where David actually gets upset.

Matteo stops scrolling once he thinks he saw someone he recognized, he doesn’t know how to see him again but he sits on his bed, trying to find a way, clicking on every button available. He doesn’t know how or which button works, but he’s not certain of the mess he made. There’s a new chat on his screen, with the photo and the name at the top.

Before he can send the text asking for him to ignore that, telling that he was just bored and decided to take a look at the app, Hans busts his bedroom door open, his phone in hand, and Matteo curses under his breath, closing the app.

“What...was that?”

Matteo sighs, relaxing against his pillows again.

“A mistake, clearly. I’m sorry.” Hans opens his mouth, looking around him like he needs someone to tell them how fake hurt he is by Matteo’s words. He walks inside and sits on the bed and Matteo rolls his eyes, knowing he can’t escape this conversation now. Hans is one of the few that can completely ignore his mood, and force Matteo to talk.

“Last time I checked, you had a boyfriend.”

“I do have one.” Matteo gets defensive, he would never cheat, and he never thought Hans would be the cheater police of the three of them.

“So…?”

“We fought.” Matteo exhales, feeling that talking about it will only make him feel worse, “I mean, not actual fight, just...I was stupid.”

“Again,” Hans adds like it’s nothing. Matteo tries to tell Hans to fuck off, but he’s already throwing himself more comfortably on Matteo’s bed, lying on his belly.

“Come on, tell your guru and I’ll help you out of it.”

He sighs, pulling some strings out of the sleeve of the knitted sweater his mom made him for Christmas last year. He didn’t think David would get this upset about a harmless comment he made as a joke. He didn’t mean to hurt him, he thought David knew that wasn’t what he really though. Matteo doesn’t get art and all these things that David can be so passionate about but it doesn’t mean he actually thinks his boyfriend is shit at his job or what he wants it to be his future job.

“He wouldn’t stop talking about his next project, stupid movie or whatever, and I made a joke about how bad of an artist he is.”

Hans lifts his eyebrows as high as they can cold, almost to his hair and Matteo sighs, waiting for the lecture he knows he deserves.

“What am I supposed to do? I have to mold myself completely and only then he’ll love me? It was a joke!”

“An unnecessary one. And so you decided to go to Grindr because you made a bad joke and he left you high and dry tonight?” Matteo looks up, tired of this conversation already.

David is way too sensitive, and Matteo is tired of these small fights that lead them to nowhere. Matteo is trying and that should count for something but it doesn’t feel like it.

“I was just bored, wasn’t going to talk to nobody anyway.”

Hans laughs, messing up his hair, “Your concept of boredom is funny. Did you like my picture?”

“Hans…” Matteo complains, not feeling like explaining how he doesn’t give a fuck about Grindr, how he doesn’t give a shit about a lot of things, he was just bored and trying to find something to keep his mind out of how horrible he is sometimes.

“I’m just curious!”

Matteo sighs, trying to be nice, to use his words and explain things to others, even when they are so clear inside his head.

“I didn’t even see it. I just kind of recognized you when it was too late, your ugly face was slowly fading out of my screen.” Hans sighs, grabbing his phone back and seeing something in it, “It’s a good photo.” Matteo decides to give, to try to be nice like people expect others to be.

“Thank you! See? That’s progress. Now you just have to try these being nice technique with your boyfriend.”

Matteo looks at his phone, screen down against his old blanket, thinking about how to be nice and apologize to David.

“I think I’m just gonna go to his place. Apologize in person.”

Hans nods his head, looking at Matteo, considering his idea, “I think it’s best. Maybe grab some food, something he likes, maybe some condoms…”

Hans wiggles his eyebrows, and Matteo whines, pushing himself to sit and get up, dragging himself to his closet, finding some clothes to put on, thinking what’s David’s favorite food, hoping at least he gets that right tonight.

#druck #matteo florenzi #david schreibner #hans #matteo x david #davenzi

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girlsgonemildblog · 3 years

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Influencer 101, but None of the Information is Correct - Emily in Paris, Episode 5 Recap (Spoilers!!)

Poster from IMDB

I think this show may be good. The jury is still deliberating, though, so I will let you know. The episode begins with Emily and Mindy at a café, and I would be remiss if I did not mention how cute both of their boots are.

Emily accidentally orders condoms with her breakfast, and the waiter is quite rude about it even though he knew what she meant. (Can you believe I am defending Emily? Who thought we would see this day?) The two girls then begin discussing the love-triangle Emily has found herself in with Camille and Gabriel when Camille joins them. Talk about awkward.

At the office, Emily knocks on Sylvie’s door as she enters, and Sylvie explains to her that she needs to wait for a response before entering. I am 120% on Sylvie’s side here; I’m currently staying with my parents, and the room I am using as an office has a closet full of files for my dad’s business, and he always does this. He even once asked me why I don’t say “come in” after he knocks, and I had to explain that it is because he doesn’t give me enough time.

Anyway, the two of them, with Julien and Luc, discuss campaign ideas for the mattress company with whom they are working. (Antoine is not in this episode, thank God.) Luc suggests making an innuendo to the sex position, the Eiffel Tower. Where exactly he thinks you can post ads with an extremely explicit sex position is beyond me.

Because Emily’s Instagram account now has 20.1k followers (followers do not grow that fast, but ok), she gets invited to an influencer lunch for a cosmetic company called Durée. The CMO of the company, Olivia (Xanthe Elbrick), apparently has beef with Sylvie, but there is no explanation of what it is. Olivia invites Emily to speak with her and tells Emily that Durée does not work with a marketing agency but instead relies on partnerships with influencers. I probably don’t need to say this, but that’s not how influencer marketing works; you still need an agency to help with that strategy, fostering the relationships, writing the copy for the posts, and planning the events like the one Emily attends.

When Emily arrives back at her apartment, she runs into Camille and Gabriel (I am convinced that every other apartment in that building is vacant), leaving for a date, and Camille insists she comes with them. How does Emily not just say she has a migraine? Even if you’re not attracted to and haven’t kissed the boyfriend, who wants to be a third wheel? They seem to have fun on the date, though, and I’m starting to suspect that there’s going to be a threesome at some point in this season. They end up at a gallery projecting Van Gogh’s works on massive walls, and Emily comments that “Starry Night” is one of her favorite works of art. Camille tells Emily that Van Gogh painted it while in a mental institution, to which Emily replies she didn’t know about Van Gogh’s nervous breakdowns. Not knowing the history of one of her favorite pieces just fits too well into Emily’s characterization. She is just so dumb.

Photo from IMDB

They sit down against one of the walls, Emily sandwiched in the middle, again laying the groundwork for a threesome in a later episode. Camille sees someone she knows, leaving Emily and Gabriel alone, which allows them to talk about their kiss. When Emily notes that Gabriel kissed her back, he asks, “this is the normal reaction, no?” and let me just say, Fuck No! Pull away from her, push her off of you, do something, dude!

While we’re on the love triangle subject, I want to note that I love that I like Camille. I said in my previous recap that I am sick of the girls-fighting-for-a-boy trope, and one staple of this trope is that the “other woman” is a bitch. It would have been easy for the writers to make Camille the cliché snooty, anemic French girl-type, but they chose not to do that. Camille is sweet and the type of person who goes through her new friend’s Instagram and likes every single post. If there has to be a love triangle (which, for interesting plot purposes, there kind of does), I am glad it is one like this.

The following day, Emily gets a lunch meeting with Olivia from Duvrée and is again wearing gorgeous boots.

Have I been sleeping on Emily’s shoe collection? Olivia makes Emily an offer to be her brand ambassador, and Emily explains why this is a conflict of interest. Olivia leaves (despite not having eaten yet) by giving Emily an ominous warning about Sylvie, which is entirely unnecessary because we have met Sylvie and know she can be a bit of a bitch (I say this as a compliment).

When Emily’s team meets with the woman from the bed company, she pitches an idea of placing their bed in iconic spots around Paris, such as the Louvre. She has no way of getting the Louvre to agree to an ad campaign in the middle of priceless art, as Sylvie later points out, and as is proven later in the episode, but the client loves the concept regardless.

Sylvie and Emily then get into an argument over the emilyinparis Instagram account. Sylvie is correct that Emily should not be posting ads on her account for free, but wrong that the account should be deleted. What they should be doing is using the account as a tool and charging people for Emily’s posts.

Mindy and Emily meet for dinner, and Mindy insists that Emily should sue because her boss can’t make her delete her account. Your boss definitely can make you delete a social media account if you are not representing the company well; the difference is that in this instance, it is not a good idea. The two of them then get drunk and go all over the city as a last hurrah for the account, and literally, who cares that much about an Instagram account?

At the end of the night, Emily, of course, runs into Gabriel at her building. As they are walking up the stairs, a slow indie beat plays that very much suggests that they’re about to have sex. Gabriel stops Emily to tell her that he also “felt something” during their kiss, to which Emily replies, “Good night, Gabriel,” and goes to bed. Good for Emily! Though I was excited about their kiss, and do want them to get together, the circumstances are not the best for Emily, and I’m glad she had the self-respect to stop what was happening.

The next day at work, Sylvie tells Emily that the bed company saw her posts from the night before, wants to put the bed in one of the locations she visited that night and wants her to be the first post for the campaign. What a great idea to use her Instagram as a marketing tool, I wish I had thought of that. Camille ends up being in this photo, which Emily captions, “#getinbedwithus”. Gabriel likes the picture with a look on his face that suggests that he, at the very least, is interested in the threesome.

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thiswasinevitableid · 4 years

Text

Picture Perfect (Indruck)

A friend on discord @morganeashton asked for this meet ugly for Indruck: 09. we’re strangers who meet at a bar, get drunk, and wake up to announcements of our new engagement all over our social media - what did we do???

Duck’s woken up with worse hangovers. He’s also woken up with far worse people in his bed. The man next to him is slim and angular, silvery hair falling across his face as he sleeps. Yep, just as cute today as he was yesterday.

Now if only he could remember if they slept together.

He groans quietly as he climbs out of bed; he’s in a fluffy hotel robe with nothing beneath it. So one point in the “we fucked” category.

Duck tugs the curtains, already mostly closed, all the way shut to block out harsh daylight. The man, Indrid, makes a chirping noise and rolls over, still asleep.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“I was not aware this was that kind of bar.”

“It’s, uh, I mean, it ain;t, but, uh, you, uh, you looked kinda lonesome and , uh, well, fuck, nevermind, sorry-”

“It’s alright” the man grins reassuringly, setting a hand with black painted nails on Duck’s arm, “it would be good for me to spend the night with something other than my own thoughts.”

Duck hops onto the stool next to him, signals the bartender for drinks

Padding out into the next room, the suite is just as impressive as last it was last night. Whoever Indrid is, he’s loaded.

“So, uh, what do you do?”

“I’m a photographer.”

“Really? Damn, I, uh, I dabble in it as a hobby, mostly nature stuff, and I’m fuckin’ amazed by anyone who can do it as a job. Shit’s hard.”

“It is rather challenging at times, though I enjoy it. What do you do?”

“I’m a ranger in the national forest. Live in Kepler, that dinky little town by it, came the half hour here for a work conference.”

“That sounds fascinating, tell me everything” Indrid leans closer, grinning.

“Uh, okay. Usually folks are itchin to make some joke about trees. Or Smokey the Bear.”

“I suppose you are bear-like.”

“Heh-”

“I like it.”

“Guh.”

He finds a room service menu on the table by the T.V the size of his first car, reads it over as he wanders back to the bedroom. Peeking into the trash, he doesn’t see any condoms or condom wrappers. One point in the ‘we didn’t fuck” category.

“That was last call, sugar.”

“No, unacceptable, I want to hear the bear-box story you, hic, --excuse me-- promised me.”

“And I wanna tell it, jus’ can’t be here.”

“Come, come back to my room. It’s big, we can talk, please come?”

“Course, darlin, whoa, damn, think we better take the elevator, little drunker than I meant to get.”

“I’ll, hic, admit I was paying more attention to you than my, hic, drink quantity, my sweet.”

He sets the menu down, wanders into the bathroom but finds no pain killers. Settles for filling two glasses with tap water and carrying them to a side table. When he slides back under the blankets and rests against the headboard, Indrid sighs, wiggles closer and snuggles so his nose is bumping Duck’s thigh.

“Morning?”

“Yep.”

“Ugh.”

“Here, this’ll help.” He hands Indrid the water as he blearily sits up. The taller man downs it in one, handing the empty glass back to him with a smile.

“Thank you. Such lovely southern manners.”

“You’re welcome. And, uh, speakin of manners, do you remember if we…”

“No, we did not. There was some kissing, I recall, but we decided we were too drunk. A wise decision all told, though the temptation was great.” Indrid slowly looks him over, smile turning from sleepy to sultry.

“Well uh, this was they day I set aside for sight-seein. Think I could be persuaded to see some sights right here.” His phone buzzes. He ignores it.

“Really now.” Indrid purrs, leaning in to kiss his cheek. On the other nightstand, his phone dings. He ignores it.

“Oughta get some breakfast in us first, fuckin on a hangover stomach ain’t fun.” Another buzz.

“Mmm, very wise. Their breakfast is quite good, you can order whatever you like.” Indrid is nearly in his lap. His phone dings twice more.

“Ain’t you the polite host--for fucks sake.” Duck reaches over and grabs his phone, Indrid sighing and mirroring him when his dings three more times.

He has texts from Juno, Aubrey, and Ned, two calls from Jane, and one from Joe, and all seem to be about…

“Oh no” Indrid covers his mouth with one hand, brown eyes wide, “oh no, oh Duck, oh I’m supremely sorry.”

“Married? What the fuck? We didn’t get married, we cant, there ain’t a spot for it here, what the fuck-”

“Why do they think this, it must be oh, oh dear” he turns his phone. It’s an Instagram profile, at the top of which is a photo of the two of them in their robes in this very bed, lounging together with goofy smiles as Indrid kisses Duck’s cheek. The caption is even worse.

“Best man ever. Internet, say hello to my husband. Isn’t he handsome?” Duck reads aloud, Indrid making a prolonged noise of alarm as the phone continues dinging.

“I’m so sorry, I, I don’t know, I must have been trying to type future husband? Which is still hyperbolic, I was drunk, but it would have been more salvageable.”

“Okay, right, we all done some boneheaded shit havin’ had a few too many, but why the fuck does everyone and their goddamn uncle know?”

“I....I never said my last name last night, did I.”

“No.” Duck’s stomach sours.

“I’m Indrid Cold.”

Duck blinks at him, and even in the midst of the panic he smiles a little.

“I didn’t get the sense you knew of me, which was part of your already considerable charm. I, I am the man you call for your Rolling Stone spread or your Vanity Fair cover, the one magazines fight over to have cover the MET Gala or the Oscars. My social media followers meet the same number as some countries populations, and I am notoriously reclusive and private about my life. Hence the uproar.” He rubs his forehead, “I am fairly certain I just wanted a picture of us; I was having so much fun, you, you made me feel so wonderful and I assumed this would be a fling, and I, I wanted a memento. In my compromised state, I must have misjudged where to put it.”

“Huh.” Duck stares at his phone, still lighting up with new messages. He’s torn between being flattered and being really, really pissed.

“I, ah, I will call my publicist and sort things out now. Excuse me.”

Duck watches Indrid leave. His phone is buzzing with unfamiliar numbers now, and when he answers one it’s a reporter from a fashion site he’s never heard of.

Indrid is handsome, and intriguing, and Duck desperately wants to see as much of him as he can. But there’s no way in hell he can handle this kind of attention, even if it’s misplaced. So while Indrid speaks, hurried and hushed, in the other room, he slips on yesterday’s clothes and disappears out the door.

---------------------------------------------------

He almost doesn’t look at the phone when it buzzes. For starters, he’s at work, but also the last two weeks have made him never want to speak to another living human again. When he pulls it from his pocket and looks at the message a half-dozen emotions hit him at once.

Indrid: I’m fairly certain we exchanged numbers, so I hope this is the right one. Duck, if this is you, I hope you’re well. And if you’re interested, I was wondering if you’d like to meet again.

Duck: Yeah, it’s me. And my answer might be different if I hadn’t spent the last two weeks being hounded by fucking reporters.

Indrid: So my clarification did nothing.

Duck: convinced them there’d been some kind of drama, so now they all want to know if it was a money grab or I’m an escort or some shit like that.

Indrid: I’m sorry, Duck. I’ll make things right, somehow.

Duck: Don’t do it thinking it’ll get you a second date. Because the thought of that much attention all at once again give me fucking hives.

There’s no response, so Duck jams the phone back into his pocket and trudges up the trail.

------------------------------------------------------------

Alright, maybe following Indrid’s Instagram was a bad idea. Because, unlike any other celeb on the platform, he never posts pictures of himself. Duck just wants to see his face again.

He looks down, notices four new notifications; an account with only five posts and an icon that’s just two red circles followed him a few days ago, and whoever it belongs to really likes his photos.

Refreshing the app brings a new post from Indrid, black background with red text.

Mr. Cold invites members of the press to learn how they can gain access to exclusive images and information.

“Good for him.” Duck mutters, before rolling over and shutting off the light.

---------------------------------------------

Duck sits on the pebbled shore by the lake, skipping stones without counting their jumps. He’s off shift, could go home, but some evenings what he likes best is sitting here, watching the world change from afternoon to dusk.

Someone is coming up the trail and he sighs; hardly anyone comes to this lake, and yet someone has to at the exact same time he’s trying to decompress.

“It’s even lovelier in person.”

Pebbles scatter as he spins.

“Indrid, what the fuck are you doing here? Uh, I mean” he scrambles for his words when he sees Indrid wince at the tone, “not that I ain’t happy to see you but...why?”

“I wanted to ask you if you were still being bothered.” The lilt is shy, nearly drowned out by the cicadas.

“Nope. Stopped about a week ago.”

“Ah good. That means my plan worked. You see I, ah, I offered every large press and small freelancer the chance to access never before seen pieces of my work, all for free. In exchange, they signed a contract that they would leave you alone indefinitely, regardless of your relationship to me, and that any writing on me and a partner would only be done with permission from both myself and them. Anyone who violated those clauses would face a very painful lawsuit.”

“You realize that didn’t do much to make people think I meant nothin to you.”

Indrid shrugs, “That was not the point. I wanted them to leave you alone.”

“Oh.” He looks back across the water, watches an Osprey skim the surface, “how’d you know I’d be here?”

“It’s a spot you shoot often, so I showed your friend at the station the photos and she pointed me the right way.”

“...You’re the person who’s been likin all my pictures, ain’t you?”

“Yes. I, ah, you post plenty of yourself, or your friend the Lady Flame tags you, and I, ah, I missed you, I thought about you so much that I wanted to see you. Perhaps that’s, ah, creepy. I thought it better than constantly trying to contact you.”

“Yeah, good call.”

Indrid shifts, awkwardly, “may I sit?”

Duck nods, and Indrid sinks onto the ground next to him.

“You really ain’t dressed for hikin, are you?”

“No. It’s not something I do often, though you make it sound very appealing.”

“We oughta go together then.” He sets his hand, upturned, on the warm rocks in between them.

“I would like that.” Indrid takes it, “perhaps we could go to lunch afterwards.”

“Sounds real nice.” Duck scoots closer, setting their joined hands on his thigh and resting his head on Indrid’s shoulder.

“To be certain I do not make a fool of myself again; are you saying you would like to try dating me?”

“That I would. But you gotta promise one thing.”

“Anything.”

“No pictures until the third date.” He grins and Indrid chuckles, leaning in for a kiss as warm and slow as the setting sun.

#indruck #prompt fills #meet ugly #indrid cold/duck newton #photographer AU

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chickensarentcheap · 4 years

Text

Sanctuary - Chapter 48

Warnings: angst

Tags: @alievans007, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @thunderintheshadows, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @valkyrie-of-the-light

An incessant knock at the door rouses her from her sleep, and she groans in protests as she rolls over onto her back and stares up at the cove ceiling. She's unsure of how much time has passed since Tyler left to attend to the drama with McMann, but the sun has changed positions and is now at full force as it streams through the window and onto the bed. She presses the heels of her palms on her eyes in an attempt to both clear the sleep out of them and rid her brain of some of the lingering fogginess. Hoping that if she stays as motionless and as silent as possible, whoever is trying to contact her will just go away. She's exhausted; a fatigue that she's come to recognize as a late first trimester side effect. With each of her pregnancies it had set in at the same; somewhere between the middle and the end of the second month. She does the math in her head; figuring out the exact dates that conception was the most possible. He'd just gotten back from El Salvador; a simple (for once) in and out assassination of a known human trafficker. Sarge had picked the kids for a rare weekend at his and grandma's house, and he'd given her a wink as he'd teased her about being able to spend 'noisy adult time' with her frequently absent husband. Which they'd managed plenty of; wild and uninhibited, intense and passionate, often rough. And it was the first time in a long time she had actually been make the noises that she'd gotten so used to hiding behind her hand or a pillow.

Condoms had become their go to for protection after Declan had been conceived when she was on the pill. And seeing as neither of them at the time had been one hundred sold on whether to have more children, that ruled out getting her tubes or a vasectomy for him, so something had to be used. So she thought they'd been careful.

Apparently not careful enough.

She places both hands on her stomach; still flat for now (aside from the baby weight she hasn't managed to lose since having Declan), but if her intuition, calculations, and pregnancy history were correct, she'd be just beginning to show around the beginning of the fifth month. It wouldn't be much; just a little bump that would be visible underneath tight fitting clothes. But it would seem much more real than it did right now; when all she had to show for growing a life inside of her was fatigue and horrible all day sickness. It was something she always marvelled at; the changes in her body as the weeks and months progressed, the way her hips and her breasts would fill out, the way her hair would become thicker and more vibrant, the way her skin seemed to glow. And it was always magical, no matter how many times she carried a life inside of her, to feel that little person moving around. The kicking and the squirming, the way -in the last trimester- you could sometimes see the entire outline of a hand or a foot when room was starting to run out and they had no more vacant space to move into. And above everything, she couldn't get enough of the way her husband 'softened' over the last three months; the way that big strong man would lie in bed at night with those calloused and battered hands resting on her belly, the most gentle smile curving his lips and the utmost excitement in his eyes every time the baby kicked or seemed to respond to his voice.

And she smiles as she thinks of those times past and those moments still to come. When they'd be in the comfort and security of their own home, back under the same roof as their children, finally able to relax and enjoy the new life that they'd be bringing into this world. Things would be different this time; he'd be around for the majority of the pregnancy, able to attend more appointments and ultrasounds, no going out of the country for extended periods of time, no worry every time the phone rang that he'd run off and put himself in danger.

The knocking has ceased, and she once again closes her eyes, hands still on her stomach, attempting to fall back asleep once more. Sleep gave her the opportunity not to worry about him. The only time where she isn't stressed out and her mind is imagining all the worst case scenarios. And she feels as if she's just on the brink of sleep when she hears the faint scratching of a key card being slid through the security slot, followed by the click as the system unlocks the door. She quickly jumps off the bed, feeling temporarily dizzy as she scurries through the door; she'd put the chain lock and the deadbolt in place, exactly as he'd instructed her to do if he ever left her alone.

“Wait...wait...” she implores, and hurriedly draws back the chain and snaps open the bolt. “...usually you call when you're on your back so I know to unlock everything, why...”

She stops mid sentence when she comes face to face with Nik. The other woman's lips set in a grim line, dark eyes troubled, And immediately thinks the worst. All those times she's spent imaging that knock on the door; how Nik would be standing there with that exact same expression, preparing to give her devastating news.

“What happened?” she can't help the panic that settles into her voice. “Please tell me he's okay. Please tell me he's not...”

“Tyler's fine,” Nik assures her, yet her expression doesn't change. “I'm here to talk to you.”

“About?”

“About Tyler.”

Esme frowns. “Look, if you're here to tell me you've been fucking him and he's leaving me for you, I'll kill both of you. Just saying.”

“He would never do anything like that to you and you know. Can I come in? This is a conversation we need to have behind closed doors. This isn't something you want your neighbours hearing.”

She senses the dire importance in the other woman's voice, and then steps back and holds the door open, motioning for her to step into the room. Closing the door, she resets the chain and the deadbolt. Just in case.

“I heard the good news,” Nik says, as she surveys the room, hands on her slender hips, expression still cold and unnerving. “About the baby.”

“You talked to Tyler?”

“A little while ago. I ran into him. Where they're holding Michael McMann.”

“Yeah, he left a while ago. I guess Mark and his guys were having some issues with McMann and Tyler's the one that puts the most fear into him. Why were you there? Just checking up on things?”

“I guess you could say that.”

“Nik, what's going on? You seem...I don't know...pissed.”

“I'm just a little upset,” she admits. “About this whole situation. With McMann.”

“I know it's taking a long time. Especially to find out where the kids are. But we've been doing everything we can. We've been running intel around the clock and Yaz has tech in every possible place he can think of. And Tyler can't do much until he actually knows where the kids are, so...”

“Did you know?” Nik interrupts.

“Know what?”

“About McMann. About where he is.”

“I know that Mark and his guys are holding him somewhere until the IRA makes up their mind. I know that they've been trying to get information out of him; about where his kids are.”

Nik's eyes narrow. “That's all you know?”

“”What more is there to know? That's all I've been told.”

“And who told you? About what was happening with McMann?”

“Tyler did. Why? Shouldn't have he? Was he supposed to keep a secret? Look, if you're pissed at him for telling me, he's been having a hard time...mentally...since McMann told him what he would have done to me had his people caught me. He's been having real low moments and he's just not himself, Nik. He's obsessing over things and he misses the kids and he hasn't been taking his meds and....”

“Esme....” she begins, choosing her words carefully. “...what am I about to tell you? I'm not doing this to upset you. Or hurt you. And the last thing I want to do is cause problems for you or that baby. Because you're my friend and I love you and...”

“I love you, too. I know we have our problems, but...”

“....I need to stay as calm as you can. Can you do that for me?”

“You can't expect me to be calm when you have that tone in your voice or that look in your eyes. What's going on? He is cheating on me, isn't he. That fucking bastard.”

“No. It's not that. Believe me when I say that Tyler would never, ever do that to you. And he's had the opportunities.”

“Thanks to you,” her tone is accusatory.

“And I'm sorry for that. I really am. For ever crossing those boundaries. But this something you need to hear. Something that is far worse than the thought of him cheating on you, believe me.”

“Okay...” she crosses her arms over her chest. “....what the hell has he done?”

“You honestly do not know anything else about McMann and what's been happening to him?”

She shakes her head. “Just what I told you. I don't have a reason to know.”

“Actually, you do. Tyler hasn't been telling you the truth. About the McMann thing. About what really happened. About where he's being kept. And what's going on while he's being kept there.”

“Nik, what the hell are you talking about? What would Tyler have to lie about? So what if the Marines are holding this guy and maybe roughing him up now and then. He's a sick and twisted fuck nut that deserves a good beat down. You know what he said about me? What he would have done to me? How he would have made Tyler watch? That is sick shit. And he deserves to have his ass handed to him.”

“This goes way beyond someone having their 'ass handed to them'. I want you to look at something...” Nik pulls her phone out of the front pocket of her pants, tapping on the icon for her photo gallery and then scrolling through pictures before holding the phone out to Esme. “...just keep flipping through them.”

Sighing, Esme holds the phone in the palm of her hand; a frown spreading across her face at the first image. Of a man restrained in a folding metal chair; a heavy chain around his torso keeping him in place, hands restrained behind his back, ankles bound, a hood over his head.

“That's Michael McMann,” Nik explains. “He's being held in a storage locker on the outskirts of town. In an industrial area. Do you know how he got there?”

“I know Tyler went to meet him and there was a plan arranged for Mark and his buddies to help grab him and that they were going to take him somewhere to hold him. I had no idea where.”

“He was drugged. Do you know who drugged him?

“How would I know? I wasn't even there. I just told you that I...”

“Tyler did. Tyler drugged him. And he could have killed him with how much he gave him.”

Her frown grows. “Where would Tyler get drugs from? He doesn't do drugs. He won't even take medication that's prescribed to him.”

“Billy Flynn gave them to him. That's where he met McMann. At Flynn's bar. Did you know that?”

She shakes her head.

“See this?” Nik uses her index finger to switch pictures. “That's Michael Flynn's throat. See how bruised it is? Someone just about snapped his windpipe. See the fingerprints on the side of his neck? That's when someone was choking him to restrain him. And this...” she brings up the next picture. “...is the inside of McMann's mouth. Someone pulled three of his molars out. With pliers.”

“Why are you showing me these?” Esme pushes the phone back into her friend's hands. “What does this have to with me?”

“It was Tyler. Tyler did these things.”

“What?” she can't help but laugh at the absurdness of it. “You're kidding, right? Tyler? My Tyler? He did all that?”

Nik nods.

“You're telling that my husband drugged someone, kidnapped them, and is holding them hostage...in order to torture them...in a storage locker?”

“That's exactly what I'm telling you.”

“Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? This has to be some kind of joke. Did Mark put you up to this? Because this is something Mark would do. This is the kind of sick shit he'd get off on. And I wouldn't put it past him to blame it on Tyler. There is no way my husband would do this. This is not who he is. He doesn't torture and maim people. He kills them;when he has to. But he doesn't do this,” she gestures towards the phone. “You know him, Nik. You've known him for even longer than I have. And you know that is not Tyler.”

“Esme, I would not come here and burden you with this. Especially now. Especially when there's a baby inside of you and I know you've had problems in the past with the others. But he won't listen to anyone. We've tried to talk him out of this. Mark, Yaz, myself. We've all tried. And he won't listen. He won't budge. Regardless of what McMann did, this...” Nik holds aloft her phone. “....this is not right. This should not be happening.”

“There's no way he would do all that,” Esme argues. “Not Tyler. He kills because he has to. Because it's either him or them. He doesn't do shit like this. That's not who he is and you know that.”

“You just said he's been having some issues. Mental ones.”

“Yeah, with his PTSD and not taking his meds. But he doesn't go Reservoir Dogs on someone because he's off his meds. He gets moody and depressed but he's more liable to kill himself than someone else. This he would not do. I know him, Nik. I know what he's like. Whether it's when he's at the highest of his highs or the lowest of his lows. And I know he would not do this. So I don't know who told you all of this; that he's doing this. But it's not him.”

“He told me, Esme. Tyler told me. After I heard it from Mark. It's why I came here. To confront Tyler. To try and talk some sense into him. He's not in his right mind. If he was, there's no way he would do this. You're my last resort. I wouldn't have to come to you and put this on you if I had another way of handling this.”

She doesn't know how she feels. Shocked? Numb? Disgusted even? None of it makes sense. None of it seems real. Even with the proof right there in those photographs. And she feels nauseous; the distinct burn of bile as it rises in her throat. “He would not do this,” she says, even though her gut knows it's true. That Nik would not do this to her; purposely make up something so outrageous just to hurt her. “Tyler would not do this.”

“He would. And he is. Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?”

“I don't know....” she admits, and lays a hand on her stomach. “....I don't know what I need to do.”

“Sit down,” Nik takes her by the arm and guides her towards the bed, still holding onto her as she lowers herself down onto the edge. “I'll get you some water. Just try and stay calm, okay?”

Esme nods, then grabs the phone out of Nik's hand before she can depart. Tears clouding her vision as she returns to the photo gallery and sends each of those disturbing, nauseating photos to her own cell phone.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” Nik asks, as she returns with a glass of water from the bathroom. “Maybe some fresh air will do you some good. I know it's hard being cooped up like this and you've been under a lot of stress. It will be good for you to get out. Get some exercise. Some sunshine,” she attempts a reassuring smile, and rubs her friend's arm comfortingly. “I know how hard this is. To hear this. To see those pictures.”

“I can't believe he would do this,” Esme's hands shake as she lifts the water to her lips, and Nik puts a supportive hand under the bottom of the glass. “This is not Tyler. He doesn't do things like this, Nik.”

“Not normally, no. But he has been under a lot of stress. A lot of tension. Worry. And now you're having a baby and he has that on his plate too....”

“Don't bring the baby into this. If anything, that's something he should be happy about.”

“He's been off his meds?”

She nods. “I don't know how long for. I've been so caught up with worrying about the kids and worrying about him not getting killed that I haven't been paying attention.”

“It's not your fault,” Nik rubs her back now. “You're his wife, not his babysitter.”

“I always know if he's going through a crisis. Always. And I'm always there for him. To help him through it. And maybe if I noticed sooner...”

“Esme, don't do this to yourself. None of this is your fault. You can help him, but you can't fix him. He has to want to fix himself.”

“I told him not to take this job. I begged him not to take it. He'd just gotten back from Guatemala and he promised me...he promised the kids...that he would stay home. That he wouldn't take anything else for at least two weeks. And then McMann showed up in Telluride and everything went to shit.”

“That was McMann's plan. When he couldn't kill Tyler in Guatemala, he changed his entire plan. He concocted this elaborate story about his wife and his kids because he knew that Tyler would cave in at the mention of kids. He wanted to bring him here to start shit with the IRA. So the IRA would kill him and McMann's hands would be clean. No connection to Tyler's death. But when he brought you in and you started digging around....”

“So it's my fault?” the tears fall in earnest now. “He's doing this because of me? Because I got involved in this?”

“No. Esme, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that McMann had to make things even more complicated and twisted to get his hands on Tyler. Including targeting you and the kids. And that's why Tyler is doing this. Or at least that's his rationale. He feels he needs revenge.”

“For what? I'm fine. The kids are fine. What...?”

“The threat was even worse in his mind because he's not in a good place. You know what he gets like that, when he's off his meds.”

She nods. “He obsesses over things. He thinks things are a hundred times worse than what they are.”

“It's Tyler doing these things, but it's not Tyler at the same time. He's not the Tyler you know. He may think he is, but he isn't.”

“What am I supposed to do? If he's that unhinged, I won't be able to get through to him. No one will be able to get through to him.”

“Tough love?” she suggests. “What is he most afraid of? Not just now. But always.”

“I can't do that him, Nik. I can't hurt him like that. If things are that bad now, what will he get like if I do that to him? I just can't. What he's doing is wrong, I'm not denying that. But I can't break his heart.”

“Esme, this is what he needs. To snap him out of it. If he has something he's afraid to lose, that will be what forces him to save himself. You know I'm right. Remember when you kicked him out? Six months it took. But he smartened up, didn't he? Because he was afraid you'd never take him back and he'd never see his kids.”

“I can't,” she insists. “I can't hurt him like that. Of all the things that would break him...”

“It will force him to get his shit together. It will make him realize that he's out of control and he's need to get his head on straight. I know you don't want to do it. You don't want to use yourself and your kids...his kids...as weapons, but you need to. If you want to save Tyler, you have to do it. Or he'll become someone you don't even recognize. And you won't have a choice to walk away for good. I know you don't want that.”

“No, I don't...” she uses the back of her hand to brush tears off her cheeks. “...I don't want to walk away. I love him. And I know he loves me. I know he loves his kids. And I'm having a baby and I can't do it alone. I can't do it without him.”

“You'll have to if this goes on. Because you're going to loose him. To whatever the hell is going on inside his head. If you want to help save him, you have to do this. He needs you to do this.”

“Fine,” she reluctantly agrees. “But it isn't going to well. It's going to go to shit. And then what? When he loses his mind? I'm not afraid of him. I know he won't hurt me. That's one thing I do know for sure. But he's going to flip out, Nik. And this place will be a battle zone.”

“If that happens, you call me and I'll come and get you. You can come stay with me in my room until he calms down., okay?”

Esme nods.

“It's going to be alright,” Nik assures her, as she wraps an around her friend's shoulder, pulling her tight into her side, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Everything is going to be alright.”

****

She's sitting at the end of the bed when he returns, nervously bouncing her legs up and down and chewing on her bottom lip; cell phone clutched tightly in her hand.

“What's going on?” Tyler asks, as she slips his feet out of flip flops, leaving them by the door. “I thought you were going out with Tanis?”

“I changed my mind,” her voice is strained, the emotion evident. And she doesn't look at him, even when he walks further into the room and lays his hand on her back and drops a kiss on the top of her head. “Where were you?” she asks.

“I told you. I went to help out with McMann.”

“What kind of help?”

“What does it matter?”

“I'm just curious, I guess. I mean, if three Marines can't handle him, what are you supposed to do about it?”

“Just an extra pair of hands there, I suppose. What's going on? You okay? You seem a little...”

“Upset?” she finishes for him.

He nods.

“I need you to be honest with me, Tyler. I don't want you lying to me. Where were you?”

“I just told you...”

“I know where you were and who you were with. But where were you? As in location? Why is it big secret? Why am I not allowed to know these things? How come every time I ask you, you either totally ignore me or you just change the subject?”

“You don't need to know. Your part in all of this is done now. There's nothing left for you to do. Why would I get you involved in anything else? You need to be taking it easy. For the baby.”

“Don't do that,” she shakes her head, and finally turns her face towards him, her eyes darker than he's ever seen them. “Don't you use this baby as an excuse to keep things from me.”

“What are you talking about? What...?” he attempts to lay a hand on her shoulder, and she aggressively pushes it away and stands up, facing him.

“I am going to ask you one more time,” she says, voice trembling. “Where were you?”

“I fucking told you. I was helping with McMann. Where the hell does it matter where the actual place is?”

She inhales deeply, pulls her lip between her teeth, and then exhales sharply. “What the hell is this?” she brings up the photos on her phone, tapping on the one of McMann restrained to the chair, hood still over his face. “Can you explain this? Tell me what this is, Tyler.”

He sighs heavily, fists tightening by his sides. “Where did you get that?”

“Nik. She sent me a whole bunch. See...” she scrolls through the pictures, and when he attempts to reach for the phone, she yanks it away, holding it behind her back. “...tell me you didn't do this. Tell me you didn't drug someone and kidnap them and tie them up in a storage locker. Tell me you didn't do those things.”

He stares at her; long and hard, blue eyes never leaving dark brown.

“Tell me,” she orders. “Tell me it wasn't you. Tell me that she's wrong. That it was someone else and they're just wanting you to take the blame. Tell me.”

Tyler shakes his head. “I can't.”

“So this was all you? All those pictures? All those things done to him? All those bruises and all the blood and the missing teeth? That was all you? You did all of that?”

He nods.

“Why? Why would you do this? What the hell,Tyler? This is not you! You don't do shit like this! You don't hurt people. You help them!”

“I've hurt plenty of people. I've killed even more. You know that.”

“You kill because you have to! Because you don't have a choice. Because it's you or them . But this! What you're doing now? You have a choice! You're choosing to do this! You're choosing to hurt someone!”

“He fucking deserves it,” his voice is low and steady, giving no evidence to the rage that's building inside of him.

“Why? Who the hell are you to say someone deserves this? Jesus Christ, Tyler! You ripped someone's teeth out of their mouth with goddamn pliers! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Nothing. Nothing is wrong with me. He deserves this. I'm doing this for you.”

“For me?” she laughs incredulously. “For me? Why do you think I would want this? I don't want this! Put a bullet in his head and call it a fucking day! Don't do this! This is sick! This is fucked up and you know it!”

“You know what he was going to do to you? To the kids? Our kids?”

“Don't you dare use them in this. Don't you dare use them to justify this. You think this is what they would want? Their daddy doing these kinds of things to people? You worry about what Millie will say when she grows up. How she'll react when she finds out about your past as mercenary. You worry about that then you go and do this? This is somehow better?”

“She'd understand. That I did it for her.”

“You aren't going to rationalize this. No matter what you say to me. This ends now, Tyler. You hand him over to whoever is going to take him and that's it. This ends. You stop this right now.”

He shakes his head. “Why are you doing this?”

“Why am I doing this? What am I doing? Holding you accountable for your bullshit? Like I've been doing for five and a half fucking years! When I have I never not called you out on something? Did you really think I wouldn't call you out on this?”

“You weren't supposed to find out.”

“Oh and lying about it makes it so much better. You know, when Nik showed up here and said we needed to talk, I was almost hoping she was going to tell me you were fucking her. Because that would have been so much easier to deal with than this. And how sad is that? That I'd rather you fuck another woman than do something like this?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell me that this stops right now. That you don't go near him ever again. That you let Mark and his guys handle this from now on. This ends here. Tell me this ends here.”

He shakes his head.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? Look at these pictures!” she throws the phone at them. “Look at them, Tyler! Look at them and tell me that this is okay! Fucking look at them!”

“Don't...” he takes a step towards her, a fist clutched at his side. “....don't fucking talk to me like that.”

“What are you going to? Are you going to the same thing to me? Are you going to lose your shit on me too?”

“I'd never do that. I would never, ever hurt you.”

“Really? Are you sure? Because I thought you'd never turn into this. I never thought you'd turn into someone who would do this kind of thing. After all the years you've spent getting people away from sick fucks that do these things, you turn around and you become one of them.”

“I'm nothing like them,” he hisses through gritted teeth.

“Why are you doing this? Why? Give me one good reason. Look me in the eye and give me one good reason.”

“I told you!” he finally snaps. “He was going to hurt you. He was going to hurt our kids. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Let it happen? Be okay with it?!”

“He can't hurt us because you've got him locked up in that fucking storage place! He can't hurt anyone! So just leave him there to rot if you have to. But don't do this. You don't need to do this!”

“I do. For you. And the kids.”

“No!” she snarls, and jabs him in the chest with her forefinger. “You don't use us like that! Don't you dare use us to justify this! We don't want you doing this! I want you to stop, Tyler. I want you to just walk away from McMann. From the job. I want you to tell Nik to find someone else to get those kids. Because you are in no way healthy enough to do this job.”

He smirks. “Who the fuck do you think you are? Talking to me like this? Who...?”

“I'm your wife, you fucking asshole! I'm your wife and I'm worried about you! Because you're becoming someone I don't even recognize! You're slowly becoming a completely different person and I can't watch it happen. I can't just stand back and let you do this to yourself.”

“The person you remember is gone, Esme. You're remembering someone that existed for five days. In Dhaka. That's who you remember.”

“No,” she shakes her head, remaining defiant. “I remember the person after that. The person who chose to keep going when he could have given up. That's who I remember.”

“The guy you fell in love with? He died that day on the bridge. You know he did. That's who you remember. That guy you were fucking for five days. That's who you remember.”

“No, Tyler. That's not who I remember. I remember the guy who saved a fourteen year old boy even though the job went to shit and there wasn't going to be a payout. I remember the guy who busted his ass to get Ovi and I across the bridge. That's who I remember!”

“Do you remember the guy that got shot in the throat? That fucking bled out all over you? Do you remember him? Look at it!” he points to the scar on his neck. “Fucking look at it, Esme. You can't, can you. You can't even look at it because it because too real to you. Do you remember that guy?”

“Of course I do.”

“Because that guy died that day. And he took those other guys with him. What you got in the end? That's not the same guy.”

“You're better than that guy. You became a better man. Do you remember saying that to me? That I made you want to become a better man? Do you remember that?”

He nods.

“You are a better man. And that's the man I want. I don't want the man that does shit like this to people. And you don't want to be that man. I know you don't want to.”

“I'm sorry,” he snarls. “That I can't be that person for you.”

“You are that person, you dick! And I want you to stay that person, Tyler. I need you stay that person. Your kids need you to stay that person.”

“You should have let me die. On that bridge. You should have just let me die.”

She fights back the tears despite the devastation his words inflict upon her heart. Her entire body. “How can you even say that? Is that really what you wanted? You wanted me to let you die?”

“It would have been better if you'd just let me go.”

“Better for who? You? You were the one that wanted to keep seeing me after Dhaka. You brought it up first. We made plans. Together. To travel and enjoy getting to know each other and see where things took us. A guy who wants to die does not do that. And you can't convince me otherwise.”

“It would have been so much easier,” he speaks with a quiet resolve, despite the rage that causes his entire body to tremble.

“For you? That's bullshit, Tyler and you know it.”

“You wouldn't have wasted the last five and a half years of you life.”

“I didn't waste anything. I married the love of my life. I had his children. There was nothing wasted. I've spent these last five and a half years loving you with everything I am and everything I have. And I spent them being loved by you. I wasted nothing.”

“None of this would be happening. This bullshit with McMann. People going after my kids. Threatening them. If I hadn't survived...”

“But you did,” she hisses. “You did survive. You didn't die because you're a stubborn fucking asshole who refuses to give up. The same stubborn asshole who coded three times in the OR and still came back. You have me. You have your children. Aren't we enough? Aren't we enough to make you want to live?”

“Of course you are. But....”

“There's no 'buts', Tyler. I know how stressed you are right now. I know you're going through a fucking nightmare mentally. And I know that it frustrates you and it confuses you and I know it scares you. But you're not in this alone. I am right here with you. And I'll fight your fight with you.”

“You shouldn't have to!” he argues. “Don't you fucking get that? You shouldn't have to keep doing this!”

“I don't have to do anything. I want to. Why won't you let me help you? Why won't you swallow your goddamn pride and let me in? Just let me help you. Please.”

“What do you want me to do? Tell me. Tell me what you want me to do.”

“I want you to stop this. This McMann bullshit. Because that's not you. Regardless of what you say, regardless of your stupid ass reasonings. That's not the man I fell in love with. That I married. That I gave children to. It's your brain, Tyler. It's messing with you. So you need to stop right now. And you need to tell Nik that you're done. Someone else can find those kids. You tell her and we leave. We get the first flight out of here and we go and get our kids and Ovi and we go home.”

He shakes his head, voice choked by emotion. “I can't. I'm sorry. I can't.”

“You still want to finish the job,” it's a statement, not a question. “You still think you need to stay and get it done.”

He nods.

“Well I guess you've made your choice then. It was always going to be this way, wasn't it, Tyler. You were always going to chose the job over me, weren't you.”

“That is not what I'm doing. I promised you, at the end of it, I was done.”

“I am sick to death of your promises. Of you breaking them all the time. I'm tired. I'm tired and I've got another human being inside of me that I'm trying to keep alive. I'm tired and I'm done. You made your choice,” she steps past him, aggressively shoving her shoulder into him.

“What are you doing?” he watches as she grabs one of her suitcases out of the unlocked second closet in the hall. “Esme...what the fuck? Stop your fucking games, okay? Just stop this shit and just sit down and we will talk about this and...”

“We are way past sitting down and talking about anything,” she tosses the suitcase onto the bed, angrily yanking on the zipper to open it, then stomps to the dresses and begins tearing open drawers; gathering up various items of clothing and messily tossing them into the case.

“Just stop!” he orders. “What are you doing?!”

“I'm leaving. I'm going back to Colorado. I'll stay with my mom until Ovi brings the kids back.”

“You don't need to do that. Stop...” he stands behind and reaches around her slight frame to grab both of her wrists in one of his hands. “You don't need to leave. I don't want you to leave.”

“If I stay, I'm only going to be in your way. Just like I was in Dhaka.”

“That's not true. You were never in my way in Dhaka.”

“It wouldn't have been so hard if I'd died in that forest too. If Saju had have just done me in when he had the chance. Things would have been a lot easier on you and a lot easier on Ovi.”

“That's bullshit and you know it.”

“Why am I even here still? My usefulness ran it's coarse, right? You don't need me anymore.”

“Of course I need you. You're my wife.”

“You chose, Tyler,” she manages to yank her hands out of his grip. “You made your choice. Now you can live with it.”

“Don't do this. Please. I never chose the job over you.”

“You just did!” she bellows, and pushes him away with her elbow, tears flowing freely down her face. “You just did!”

“I promised you I'd be done after I was finished her. That was what our deal.”

“Well fuck the deal!” she shoves him away once more when he attempts to get closer. “And fuck you too, Tyler!”

“Esme...stop...don't do this. Don't leave. I don't want you to leave.”

“You need to get your shit together,” she orders. “You need to figure out what the hell you want.”

“You,” there's no hesitation. “I want you. I want my kids.”

“Then come with me. Tell Nik that you're done. Tell her you're finished and come home with me.”

“You know I can't. You know I can't leave those kids.”

“But you can you leave yours right? That's a never a problem to you. It's never a problem when you walk out the door while they're sleeping and leave me to clean up your mess. You can leave your own kids...that you helped make...but not complete strangers. Makes total sense.”

“Just give me to the end of the week. Like we agreed on. That's all I'm asking for here. Just five more days.”

“And then five days become ten and ten become twenty and on and on and on.”

“Not this time,” Tyler insists. “This time I'm done. I meant what I said.”

“I'm not staying here. I refuse to stay here. I'm not hanging around to get that phone call or that knock on the door letting me know you're dead. I'm going home. To Colorado. To my mom's. And you get a hold of Ovi and you get him and my kids back. Do you understand me?”

“Esme...” he lays his hands on her shoulders. “...just stop.”

“You track down Ovi and my kids and you get their asses back to Colorado. Or I will never, ever forgive you. I will spend the rest of my life hating you if you don't get my kids back where they belong. And stop!” she uses her elbows to knock her hands off her shoulders. “Stop touching me! I don't want you touching me right now. Just get my kids back, Tyler.”

“They're my kids too,” he angrily reminds her.

“Yeah, well try being a father once in a while. Not just when it's convenient for you and fits your schedule.”

“That's fucking low and you know it, Esme. That's really fucking low. I do what I do for those kids. For you!”

“You do what you do because you like it. You just won't admit. Because it makes you sick to admit it so you use me and the kids as an excuse. Because it makes you feel better. Quit your shit, Tyler. Just admit. For once, just admit you do this job because you enjoy it.”

“I don't enjoy it. I do it because I'm good at it. No. I'm fucking great at it. And the money...”

“Fuck the money. There is not enough money in this world to replace you! I don't care about the money. I would leave with you right now and go back to Australia and live in that goddamn shack with you and four kids and fucking chicken in the bathroom if that's what you wanted. If that is what would make you happy. If that's what would you keep you home and safe!”

“Esme....please...just stay here with me...we can sit down and talk about this. Like rational adults.”

“Tyler, I am way past feeling rational. I'm not staying here with you. I love you. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. But I can't be around you right now. I just can't. You need time to think. Without me around.”

“No,” he remains steadfast. “I don't.

She finishes throwing the clothes into the suitcase and zips it closed. “I'll be there. When this is done. I'll be waiting for you to come home. But if in your heart you do want the job over us, don't even bother coming back. Move. Get out of my way.”

“Stop. Right now. Stop whatever fucking game this is and...”

“This isn't a game!” she screams. “I said move!”

He holds his hands up in surrender and steps backwards. “You're leaving now?” he asks incredulously, as she grabs the suitcase and heads for the door. “Right now? Where the hell are you going?”

“I'll stay with Nik. Then I'll get a flight back first thing tomorrow.”

He crosses the room in three long strides, slamming a palm against the door to prevent her from opening it. “Stay here. With me. Then tomorrow you book a flight and I will take you to the airport. Just stay here. With me.”

“Why? Because you think fucking me a few times will make everything better? It doesn't solve everything, Tyler. Regardless of what you think.”

“I never said that. I never even thought it. I just want you to stay. I just want to sleep here. With me. In the same bed. So I can wake up beside you. That's all I want.”

“I can't. You need to respect that. That I need to be away from you right now. This all too much. Finding out what you've been doing. I need time to come to terms with that and I need to take care of myself and this baby and I can't do either of those things if I'm with you. You have to let me go, Tyler.”

“No. I don't, And I won't.”

“If I stay, this won't end well. Because all the worry and the stress is going to get to me and I'm going to lose this baby and you won't ever forgive yourself for that. So please. Just let me go. If you love me, if you love this baby, just let me go.”

“Fine...” he relents, removing his hand from the door and stepping back far enough to allow her to open it.

“I'm sorry,” she says, and he reaches out to clear the tears off her cheeks with his thumbs. “This is not about not loving you. Because I do. I love you so fucking much. And it's because I love you that I'm doing this.”

He nods. “I know.”

“Do you? Because I need you to understand that. I need you to know that I love you and I'm not leaving you. I don't want this...us...to be over. I just need to take care of myself and this baby. I can't do that if I'm here. And you know I can't. You know right, that?”

“Yup.”

“I want you to find those kids. I do. And then I want you to come home. To me. To our kids. Your kids. Promise me, Tyler. If there's ever going to be one promise you make and keep, make it that one.”

“I promise. I'll come home. To you. To the kids.”

“Be careful, okay? And stay safe. Come home in one piece. And breathing.”

“I will,” he assures her.

She manages a small smiles, then reaches up to push his hair off of his forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he leans down to kiss her. Long and languid. Tender.

“I'll see you when I see you,” she says.

He grins. “That's my line.”

“Well, I beat you to it this time.”

He lays a hand on the back of her neck and pulls her into him, pressing his lips to her brow. “Stay,” he says. “Just tonight. Tomorrow I'll let you leave. I'll take you to the airport.”

“If I don't leave now, I never will. And that's not good for either of us. But I'll be waiting for you. I promise,” she places her hand on the side of his face, running her thumb over his lips and then the bristles of his beard. “I'll miss you.”

“I'll miss you too. At least call me. Before you leave tomorrow.”

“I will,” she promises, and briefly leans her forehead against his chest before stepping out into the hall and shutting the door behind her.

#tyler rake #tyler rake fan fic #tyler rake fan fiction #chris hemsworth character #sanctuary #extraction

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