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#that's the result of the experiment. that's a man who had to strip himself of reason and conscience

im-totally-not-an-alien-2 · 2 years

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Au where Danny is Damians twin. He had gone on countless solo missions since the time he was six and niether he or his brother had ever failed. This time however, was a bit different.

Dr's Jack and Madeline Fenton were playing with forces beyond thier comprehension and endangering the entire world with thier actions. They were clearly aware of it too if thier sketchy work with the government was taken into consideration. Daniel's job was to infiltrate thier lab and copy all thier data into a flash drive before killing the parents and destroying everything. Simple enough, but he made a crucial mistake.

He got curious.

Isn't that always how the eldrich and unknown gets you? You start asking questions and before anyone knows it you're a raving lunatic.

Once he had completed his first three tasks, Danny had put on one of the suspiciously numerous white and black and child sized hazmat suits and went into the beckoning maw of what was mentioned to be the portal. He looked down to step over a bundle of wires and in his momentary distraction hit a button on the wall with his hand.

The next thing he knew everything was tinged green and he was screaming.

Awaking to find his form had changed, leaving him with glowing green eyes, pale skin and white hair he was confused. Mother and Grandfather did not have a meta-gene and according to mother thier Father-the Batman- also did not have it.

Then It clicked. The scientists were studying the afterlife, more specifically the spirits of the dead and how to invade thier realm. Daniel, at the tender age of eight, had died. Whats worse is that he apparently had the ability to flop between life and death at will. Fearing what kind of experiments his Grandfather would no doubt subject him to he finished his mission by rigging the place to blow far more spectacularly then planned and fleeing into the portal.

The resulting explosion could be seen for miles. Upon seeing it from her place on a park bench with her friend, Jazz had immediately knew something terrible had happened.

Three years later Daniel- now going by Phantom- found that the portals maw had survived even if the portal itself did not and it was reactivated by a pair of nosy teens. Amity Park was being attacked by ghosts and the Justice League, a group of famous heros lead by his Father, Wonder woman and Superman, refused to even answer thier calls for help. Odd.

Phantom stepped up and began fighting them both with his powers and his training from the League of Assassins. The people hated him for being dead. The dead hated him for stopping thier rampages and his annoying ability to just disappear. (He's so glad he kept the half living thing to himself, even if it meant he often had to sneak away to living realms to get human food)

As it turns out, the Fentons had a back up location that niether he or the League of Assassins knew about where they stored notes on thier theories about the nature of ghosts and how "evil and mindless" they were. A government based group eventually formed called the Ghost Investigation Ward, or as the locals called them, The Guys In White who then passed a set of laws called the anti-ecto acts.

Daniel had grown up hearing tales of his Father. A paranoid man who thought of everything and had eyes and ears in every sector of the government. He and his League of Justice would never allow this...and yet days passed since the announcement of the acts. Then weeks. Then a month with no words speaking out againsts laws that essentially stripped the rights of an entire species. Did Father believe the lies and slander from the government and the remnants of the Fentons "research"?

If he knew about him would he think he was a monster? A threat to be eliminated?

Daniel fiddled with his domino mask as he began applying the weekly dose of phase-proof paint to the metal of the portals blast doors. He loved his mask. It made him feel just a little bit safer. Yes, he knew logically no one would ever think that a dead child would ever secretly be a living one, but facial recognition software was a very real thing and it wouldn't be long before the GIW modified it to work the blurriness out of ghost photos. Even if they didn't (which they might never considering the groups overall intelligence) people have eyes

Daniel wasn't technically living in Amity Park. At least not legally. He stole whatever he needed and stayed hidden away in abandoned houses and underground caves. Not the most luxurious life, but better than a scapel and rib shears. He shuttered at the thought.

It was almost a week after his and Damians birthday that he saw his parents again. They were fighting in the streets near Polter Heights, the rich side of the city. He wondered what they were there for. He had long taken the portal deep underground where no one could access it without intangibility and Amity really had nothing to offer otherwise. They couldn't possibly know who he was, could they?

He flew closer invisibly, listening to mother state that she planned on recruiting this "ghost child" into the League. Interesting. She didn't know it was him.

Batman. His own father argued that she knew nothing about these creatures and that they were dangerous but handled by the local authorities. Daniel couldn't fight back his sneer. The GIW did nothing while Phantom did all the work and he highly doubted any of the living considered him an "authority". Nevertheless, this proved to Daniel his fears of his Father hating him was well founded.

He did however, find himself surprised at the familiar chill of a blade at his throat. How? Then his brother, his beloved twin ordered him to surrender. Not a chance. Not even for him. Phantom fought his brother that day, no matter how much it pained him. The GIW have been chasing him relentlessly since thier founding and would do anything to get thier grubby little paws on him. If he was taken into custody by any form of law enforcement or was an immediate Game Over, even if it was the Justice League.

Daniel managed to escape but Damian left knowing he recognized that fighting style.

Damian ended up telling the rest of his family about his twin, Daniel and how he had died and how he suspected the ghost protecting Amity was his lost brother.

Unfortunately, Daniel had overheard what Batman had said to his Mother and believed his change of heart and attemps to get him to come home with him were a ruse to get him to let down his guard.

Thus begins the chaotic time in Amity Park where his Mother and Father both try to convince Phantom to live with them.

#fanfiction prompts #prompts #dp x dc #danny phantom #danny and damian twins au #batman #robin #long post #damian wayne #talia al ghul #danny fenton #sorta #daniel al ghul #danyal al ghul #dami and dani sounds cute though

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blueysobssesions · 11 days

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Betrayal's Symphony

Chapter 1: The Offer

Warnings: None (yet)

A/n: yes yes YES, ik it's been so long ... But, hey! I'm back! Im really back :) i noticed I haven't really post albert wesker fanfics that much, so i just decided to make an Albert Wesker Fanfic Chapter :>

You stood inside the laboratory, with a low humming of machines. Fluorescent lamps sent out hard light on clean white walls; revealing rows of modern-day gadgets and well-arranged vials. You focused intently, jotting down the results of your latest experiment, too focused on the viruses and antiviruses under the microscope. Every slide provided additional information about the pathogen you were studying, which was one more step closer to achieving a breakthrough.

Everything else faded away, leaving only this scientific sanctuary of yours. The comforting beeps of the monitor and the soft hum of the centrifuge were the only sounds in your world.

You were suddenly snapped out of your work by a loud creak from the door, which sounded oddly shocking within this otherwise controlled environment. You raised your head and anticipated seeing one of your colleagues, but instead you were faced with Albert Wesker himself standing in front of you. In fact, his presence felt like that of a thunderstorm approaching.

Wesker fitted black attire and dark glasses created an air of power and secrecy about him that made my heart miss a beat. The very atmosphere seemed to change when he was there; it felt heavy with electric tension. His mouth barely opened into a slight smile, which did not reach his eyes at all.

"Impressive work, Mrs.Y/n" His voice was calm. It had an attention-commanding sound, thus leaving no doubt or room for indecision. He had sharp eyes behind the black glasses that would strip your defense to see who you truly are. You felt as though you were naked because he could easily penetrate you down.

You swallowed hard, trying to maintain your composure under his scrutinizing gaze. The clipboard in your hand seemed heavier than it should have been while the pen shook a little between my fingers. “*cough*Thank you, Mr. Wesker. Do you need something?” you asked with a hint of curiosity in your tone of voice and at a steady utterance

He moved forward slowly and carefully. His movements were like those of a cat about to pounce on its prey; they were captivating yet scary at the same time. “I would like to make you an offer,” he said coolly, but his tone was anything but casual. “There is a project I am managing that calls for somebody having your talents. If you accept my invitation you will have access to resources that go beyond any imagination.”

Thrills of excitement mixed with unease ran through your heart swiftly. The opportunity was tempting, but the man who proffered it made you insecure, that was disconcerting. “Why me?” you asked needing him to explain why he chose you out of so many people he could have targeted on earth?

“Because you possess a unique talent, one that could prove invaluable to my work. If you work with me, it can make my work more easy” he said, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. The intensity in his voice was hypnotic, drawing you in despite the nagging doubts in the back of your mind.

You looked into his eyes, or at least where you imagined his eyes to be behind those impenetrable glasses, and felt the weight of a decision that would alter the course of your life forever. The lab seemed to shrink around you, the walls closing in as the gravity of the moment pressed down on you. Accepting his offer meant stepping into the unknown, leaving behind the safety of your current life for a future fraught with uncertainty.

Wesker extended his hand, a silent invitation hanging in the air. The room seemed to hold its breath, the hum of the machinery fading into the background. You hesitated for a moment, your mind racing through the possibilities, the risks and rewards. Finally, you reached out and took his hand, feeling a shiver up your spine as his cool leather glove touched your skin.

“Excellent choice,” he said, a satisfied smile playing on his lips. “Welcome to the future, Dr. Y/n.”

As you shook his hand, a mix of excitement and unease washed over you. You couldn't shake the feeling that something big was about to happen. But one thing was clear: your life was about to change in ways you couldn't imagine.

#blueyheartzposts #resident evil #resident evil x reader #resident evil x you #resident evil x y/n #albert wesker #albert wesker x reader #albert wesker x y/n #albert wesker x you #re fanfic #x reader #re albert wesker #re wesker

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sashi-ya · 1 year

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𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖇𝖊𝖓𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖔𝖗 (part 2) +18. Vinsmoke Ichiji x F!reader

✦ part 1: Red Roses (both parts can be read independently) ✦ requested by @portgasdash for the free requests ➜ I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. You asked me to keep the idea in mind for the next time requests are open and I did. A continuation (of sorts) of your awesome roses fic with ichiji and a fem reader who he needed to get pregnant and ended so sweetly. They succeeded and Ichiji is now a protective dad(or soon to be dad) to reader and very much likes the changes their body have gone through cause of the pregnancy. specifically what their chest can do. Kinks: pregnancy and lactation ➜ Yes!! here it is, finally! I hope you enjoy my love! ♡ ✦ tw: pregnancy. breastfeeding. vag sex. ichiji being a little more human the more time it passes. based on the fact that I do believe he has feelings like Sanji and Reiju (my theory). ✦ wc: 1.9k

“So? What’s the result?” the red-haired demon asks, waiting with his back pressed against the door of the bathroom door.

“I can’t make it go faster, it’s still processing Ichiji-sama” you inform, sitting on the toilet with a little stick in your hand. Your leg bounces, you are way more anxious than he is. You never thought of wanting a baby from him, and much less this fast, but there you are wishing for the two little stripes to appear.

Both have decided to keep it in between you two; before even letting Judge and his scientists run the pertinent tests. A cheap test he bought during a mission, nothing sophisticated but yet enough to know.

At least three weeks have passed since he had been able to really enjoy sex for the first time, and just to be sure you get pregnant you two -secretly- kept having hot, hot encounters. Or maybe it was because your bodies were yearning for the other, burning in passion and need after tasting the honeys of a real connection.

Finally, the soft pink stains on the little strip appear. Yes. One… two. There are two. You check again. And again. And then once more.

Positive. Ichiji, you are gonna be a father.

“Uh… Ichiji-sama?” you call him. You can sense his anxiety from the outside the bathroom. He can’t wait for you to tell him; it’s been enough chivalry for him to let you take the test alone until the result came up.

“WHAT?” he opens the door, hitting it against the wall. “Sorry” he apologizes, because with you he is able to read every piece of your feelings.

You nod, a subtle smile adorning your ruby lips. “Y-yes…” you whisper, looking down at your fidgeting hands and then up to his blue eyes that widen in amazement. He doesn’t look anymore like the severe prince, but rather like a child knowing he is going to Disneyland.

“Am- gonna- Father?” he stutters. For the first time, the perfect prince lacks words to express himself.

“Yes… congrats, future King… a prince is coming ~” you chime, still too shy to be able to move a single muscle.

It was clear to him, to you, that his attempt had been successful. However, Ichiji felt more than pride… he felt joy, something he thought he would never, ever, would feel. It wasn’t just the fact that Judge would be proud of him, it was him sharing something with that woman right before his eyes… she, with the red roses and her equally red lips had turned his world upside down… or maybe, the other way around, on a spiral that lend him to experience love.

As the astonishment leaves his mind, he runs to hug you. “I’m… you made me a father!!” he happily chimes, ripping a smile and some tears from your eyes. He does not feel like the usual cold prince, he looks like a new man. A sweet, loving man.

Ichiji lifts you up in his arms, he stays silent for some minutes. His beam, however, remains everlasting on his juicy lips. You have never seen what you are seeing now; his eyes narrow because of his cheeks coming so high as he smiles so big.

“Come on, we need to celebrate… I- what do you say when you uhm really appreciate someone?” he asks, seriously and blushed. “Uh… you- mean… love?” you say, still amazed at him.

“Yes…? That thing…” he swallows; for the first time you see his eyes looking down.

You chose to stay silent, it’s enough for him. And not to mention how much it means to you. You weren’t sure if you were in love with him, or just spellbound by lust. But things become clearer the moment you kissed so soft his lips… you loved him too.

And what started as an agreement to help him procreate, then… weirdly enough, was just the start of something new. Of something that grew as much as your belly did…

Fast-forward to the last weeks of your pregnancy…

“But, Ichiji-sama, (Name)-sama asked us to bring her something to eat” “AND I WILL TAKE IT MY SELF. IF YOU HAVE POISONED THE FOOD I’LL DIE TOO, SO SPEAK NOW OR DIE”

The prince brings himself food for you. You have been moved -by his own request, and against Judge orders- to his room. Now, you are his princess. As the future mother of the someday next King of Germa, you should be treated like royalty and protected like nothing in this world. Ichiji made sure, and still does, that you are more than comfortable with your life in the palace.

“Ichiji, babe…I could hear your screams from the hall. Is everything ok?” you ask, sitting in bed with your hands resting on your belly but a little bit uncomfortable.

“I told them a hundred times, everything you eat I should taste it first. What’s wrong with you? Are you feeling ok?” he asks, leaving the silver platter with delicacies on it to the side.

You nod with your head; bodies change during pregnancy, and you think is normal to feel everything swollen and bloated. Including your breasts. “Yes, dear prince. It’s just that my breasts feel swollen but it’s normal. They are getting ready for the baby” you tell him, inspecting without caring for his growing smirk, the food that he brought.

He comes closer and kisses his lips; it takes your breath away. He has always managed to make you feel this way, pregnant and not pregnant.

“What?” you ask, as he keeps smiling with a sadist grin. “I’ve read that the father can help with the swelling and the pain…” he murmurs, taking his pointy nose to your cleavage. He nuzzles there, taking care of not hurting your belly but still placing his huge hands on top of it.

You narrow your eyes. What did he mean with “helping with the swelling and pain”?

“You know…I was so scared of… touching you…” he purrs, kissing your right breast. “Baby, can you share mommy with daddy for now? I’ll be gentle, I promise” he asks right at your belly, placing another kiss on top of it.

You giggle. He is being sweeter than ever, but even if so, a dark aura of lustful intentions surrounds him. He pulls down the cleavage of your blouse. “Can I make you feel better…?” he asks. When did Ichiji Vinsmoke ever asked for permission?

“I don’t know what you are planning… but, go ahead” you murmur, letting him do. He might be a murderous machine but when it comes to your safety he is obsessed. You are sure he won’t hurt you in any way.

His pale, yet juicy lips approach so slow the most sensitive parts of your breasts. His hand, squeeze softly on the side of one of them. He doesn’t provoke any pain; he gives you a caress -even if he didn’t know the term-.

You flinch, just a little. And soon you understand, exactly, what he is intending to do. You were sure milk couldn’t be produce before having the baby but turns out you were wrong. Semi-transparent milky drops fill your lover’s mouth. It’s just a little, but the moment the sweet taste of it touches Ichiji’s tongue he moans, louder than ever before.

“I- Ichiji…” you whisper, taking slowly your palm to the crown of his head. He keeps sucking, as if, the drops that were feeding him were essential for his life. The pressure you were feeling on your breasts slowly goes away, and it goes the same way down to your core.

You brush his red hair back, taking a rather motherly look, caring, and loving to his weakness showing. Because perhaps, he needed this, so deep inside of him. The prince lets his guard down, he allows himself to look less strong, vulnerable also, while attached to your chest.

“I… you are delicious” he barely mumbles before going back to suck and devour the other nipple.

“Am I, my prince? Keep going, do it as much as you please” you whine, pushing his head against your chest. You make him grunt; you make him go harder. He bites, but it doesn’t hurt. The sharp nibbling can only make you more aroused.

And Ichiji wants more, he rips off your blouse with such force it startles you. He has never shown you such strength. “I’m sorry, but I need you naked. I promise I will go slower” he assures you, breathing so hastily. Arousal is consuming his brain, not even his peaceful mind can stop him.

Your eyes soften. “Make love to me, yes?” you dare to ask. You have never called sex this way with him. And frankly you were scared… Visnmoke Ichiji making love to a woman?

He exhales, letting the excess arousal out his mind for some seconds. He pulls down, delicately and carefully your pants and spreads your legs so that you could rest them on top of his thighs as he kneels in between them. “I will… of course I will make love to you. Are you comfortable this way?” he asks. It’s been a while since he has touched your body. Whenever your belly grew larger, he stopped approaching you like during endless nights of the first months. You really thought of him not being attracted; but you were wrong. It was how much he was attracted to the changes of your body that he was scared of hurting your baby and you.

But he can’t stop himself no more. And frankly, you can’t either.

“I am more than comfortable, daddy” you murmur, mesmerized at such change in attitude… after all, Ichiji has always been a sweet man… you only had to have the power to break such hard exoskeleton…

He lowers his pants, just enough to expose a hard, desperate, so needy sex. “I was desperate for this… all this months…” he says, showing you that he didn’t need, nor he didn’t resort to other women that wasn’t you.

You receive him in your arms, and while he slides in slow motion inside you he nests his head in your chest. Sexy, loving thrusts fill your void while you kiss his forehead. He attaches himself again to your nipples, sucking so deliciously while pumps in and on out of you.

Slowly, and surely. Steadily, and constantly. His breath warming your saliva coated breasts, the tiny semi white drop running from the commissure of his mouth, the way you both spasm… ecstasy, rapture. Exploding in orgasmic kisses, hastily breathing, filling you up, coming so gloriously…

“Are you ok? Does anything hurt? You want me to bring the doctor?” he asks, as he rests with his cheek squeezed against your belly.

“I’m totally fine. You took care of me like anybody could have. Thank you so much” you whisper, tracing circles with your palm on his bruised back. He had been trying to get a lot stronger to protect his coming child, you can tell.

“I’m glad I didn’t hurt you… is your swelling better?” he inquires, shyly. His cheeks becoming almost as red as his hair. Who would have known a Vinsmoke prince is able to blush that way?

You smile. Your swelling is indeed better, you feel a lot more relaxed… because you have chosen the right daddy…

A heartless prince they say, not for you, of course. But underneath that strong armor, his heart all, belongs to you ~

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ospreyeamon · 1 year

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theron background headcanons

Theron is Force-blind in somewhat of a more legally-blind than totally-blind way. Low-key environmental ambience doesn’t register to him at all, but he can tell when somebody is doing the equivalent of waving a strobe-light in his face. It’s nowhere near enough for the subtle senses Jedi skills require, but the Sith tend to be louder in the Force – consciously bombastic where Jedi are naturalistic – so Theron can occasionally sense when one of them is doing something especially melodramatic.

Theron gained an impressive variety of skills and experiences during his itinerant childhood but no lasting close social connections apart from Ngani Zho – not even among the Jedi. The longer Theron failed to exhibit any signs of being Force-sensitive the more obvious it became that it was the result of Theron not actually being Force-sensitive and other Jedi began to point that out to Zho. Zho was heavily in denial about Theron’s Force-blindness because of what it would mean and started actively avoiding the Order so nobody could challenge his delusion.

Theron spent a lot of time thinking about what he would say to Zho if they ever met again after Zho sent him away on Haashimut. In the end Theron never said any of it because when he finally met Zho again it was to discover that the man who had raised him was living in a fantasy where Theron was totally Force-sensitive, had absolutely become a Jedi Knight, and had spent the decade Zho had disappeared for palling around with his mother on Jedi adventures.

After a few weeks being housed with the Jedi Initiates while the Masters on Haashimut settled on what to do with him, Theron was passed off into foster care. The Galactic Republic doesn’t have anything close to a unified foster system; the variance as to what constitutes appropriate child-rearing practices and unnecessary administrative burden of trying to run a unified system make it far more practical to handle it at a local level. However, in the aftermath of the Great Galactic War virtually all of local care organisations were underfunded and overwhelmed with war orphans and child refugees. Theron slipped away before he aged out and spent the next couple of years drifting. When he was sixteen, he stumbled into a SIS operation and saved an agent from a mutated Orpali dragon which brought him to the attention of the then Mid-Rim Director Marcus Trant.

Theron consciously worked to strip himself of obviously Jedi ticks after joining the SIS. The casual references to the Force, the bowing, the falling into the base stances of Shi-Cho. They were potentially dangerous identifying tells, but he also just wanted to stop people asking about it.

#Meanwhile in a Galaxy Far Far Away #swtor meta #Theron Shan #star wars the old republic #a wild headcanon appeared

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catholickedd · 8 months

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Cath I woulf love to hear about simon and betty, please could you share something about it?

OKAY OKAY OKAY my time has come!!

so. fionna and cake. you already know.

it’s based off the show adventure time, whose primary antagonist at the very beginning is the ice king, a crazy blue weirdo with a little crown who likes to kidnap princesses, right?

and so he’s just weird and cringe and honestly a danger to himself and others

but later we find out ice king isn’t just like this for no reason

that crown is extremely important and special

bc the person that is ice king right now used to be an antiquarian named simon petrikov.

and the reason he kidnaps princesses?

all he can remember, in some deep recess of his memory, is he wanted to find his princess.

betty grof.

she was his fiancée. he referred to her as “princess.” his love for her was so powerful that it remained, even under the strong influence of the crown.

but how did he get like this?? he was set to marry betty, right?

and then one day she was gone.

before she left, he had found a crown, a small golden crown inlaid with red gems, something he as an antiquarian had been searching for for some time.

and each time he placed the crown on his head, it corrupted him further. without betty, the obsession and madness began to overtake him, and he found it harder and harder to go without wearing the crown.

then the mushroom wars happened. nuclear war. almost everyone dead.

except for simon petrikov, and a small girl he’d discovered. marceline.

he raised her until he couldn’t anymore. he was the closest thing she had to a father. and then he was ice king, no longer himself, simon petrikov less than a memory.

he remained in this state for some time.

in the episode of the original series, “betty,” he is stripped of his ice powers by bella noche, and reverts to his original form.

his first thought is to contact betty.

he creates a portal through time to apologize to betty for the things he did while under the influence of the crown.

instead, betty jumps through the portal to be with him.

only afterwards does she realize that simon is dying. without the life preservation powers of the crown, he cannot continue on living in this state.

betty took it upon herself to restore power to simon.

she would do anything to keep him from harm.

she defeated bella noche on her own and restored power to simon.

which meant simon forgot her.

she remained in the world of ooo for some time, keeping watch over simon, protecting him.

we don’t see her for a few episodes, but after some time, we find out she has been working with a mad wizard, magic man, to study the degrees of madness and sadness that wizardship causes, in order to find a permanent cure for simon. she is undergoing an experiment which goes wrong and ultimately transfers all the powers, and madness, and sadness, of magic man to betty.

throughout many more episodes, she goes through drastic measures, trying everything she can to cure simon.

in the series finale, she summons an ancient god known as GOLB, in order to utilize its powers to restore simon to his original form. they are eaten by GOLB and through its digestive system, simon is restored to himself, and betty to herself. the crown is also restored to its original form, meaning the first wearer of the crown after it has reverted will have their greatest wish granted.

betty put on the crown, attempting to wish GOLB out of existence, but betty’s true greatest wish was to keep simon safe, no matter the cost.

as a result, betty fused with GOLB. they became one entity.

and simon was himself again

and betty would never be herself again.

let me know if you have any follow up questions, i would LOVE to answer them, the next answer will be what happens between them in fionna and cake.

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vvalengogh · 9 months

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Fallout OCs Masterpost!

Read about my scrumblos below the cut. 💛 Character ref/art included.

Quinn Higuchi Verger - Courier 6

Quinn Higuchi is the Courier 6 of the Mojave Wasteland. An orphaned child, Quinn eventually grew up to be a small town doctor that located near the border of California in Utah, Quinn took up odd jobs as courier for the Mojave Express a few times to afford more expensive treatments and further medical supplies for the resident of his town.

At one point, Quinn was known to be a passive man with little to say and little to show in expression— preferring to keep to himself and carry on with his job. Eventually, all of that changed when he was to deliver the Platinum Chip and was intercepted by Benny Gecko.

The shot to his head did irreparable damage to his brain, and thus, flipped a switch in him. Not only did he suffer amnesia, forgetting his entire life prior being shot, but the small town doctor Quinn became a menace afterwards. Selfish, sarcastic, and reckless (as well as extremely frivolous); Quinn did things his own way the way he saw them fit. Messing with the NCR, killing Caesar, and joining up forces with Yes Man.

Still, despite this and his rather immature behavior, Quinn is neither good nor evil; he is chaotic, but on the neutral side. He’ll be your best friend and your worst enemy, he’s as mischievous as much as he is a powerhouse and a threat. Regardless, hes smart, cunning, and very well versed in laser weapons and medical and engineering, and he’s not a complete asshole; he does care for certain people a whole lot. One of those very few people being a man known as Andres Gutierrez, who is now his husband, who he will 100% kill for without hesitation and loves him very much. (Side note: Andres Gutierrez is my bf’s oc (@/valentineenjoyer), who is also a courier six!)

Overall, he’s more on the unhinged and immature side, a jokester and a silly little menace of a man. He never gets back his memories, aside from Ulysses reminding him of his crimes. He lives for a *very* long time thanks to the cybernetic augmentation the Think Tanks so gracefully gave him.

——

Rattle - Quinn Higuchi's pet / companion Nighstalker

Rattle was the runt of her mother’s litter. Unable to produce venom and being smaller than her siblings, she was left behind to fend for herself and eventually perish. She was found next the side of a road by Quinn, and though eventually standoffish, she failed to scare Quinn and was taken in. Quinn *absolutely* adores her, so he tamed and raised her to give her another chance at life. Lo and behold, she becomes Quinn’s pet and companion Nightstalker.

She’s scarily smart, but also has her dumb dog moments, and like her owner; she’s very compulsive as well as easily distracted outside of combat. She’s fond of scavenging, often bringing Quinn little gifts or showing off her latest find. Rattle is also a lap dog and a very cuddly one!

——

Agnes Higuchi Verger (alias Agnes Doyle) - Mercenary / Seamstress

Agnes Higuchi is the twin sister to the Courier 6 Quinn Higuchi. While she avoided the Benny Gecko Special Treatment, she was unfortunately experimented on by the Think Tanks which resulted in the loss of an arm, being replaced with a fully functional prototype cybernetic arm.

While she managed to escape the horrors of Big MT and made a speedy recovery, she would be caught dead if she even considered setting foot up there again.

But before all that, Agnes was, and still is, a seamstress for the Strip and a mercenary for hire around Freeside. Her parents— hers and Quinn’s— actually had to give up one of their children to make ends meet so both could be provided with the best lives, which is why Agnes is also known by the last name Doyle. Eventually, she figured out who her parents were later on in life only to discover they went missing along with caravaners. This is how she first heard the rumors of another kid, her brother, but by that time Quinn was already a tall tale to most. It’s not until two years after the events of the Mojave that she meets Quinn, but it takes her (and Quinn) a whole month to realize that they’re twins despite looking exactly the same.

During that time, Agnes became a very accomplished clothes maker and a strong bodyguard, hired by the Followers. She’s far less off the walls than Quinn, but she still has some of that touch of unhinged in her; she’s sweet and gentle, but cold blooded if needed. She’s the girlfriend of my boyfriend’s oc, Del Rey.

——

Sycamore Higuchi - Vault 76 Dweller

Sycamore is the ancestor to the twins Quinn Higuchi and Agnes Higuchi. Hailing from West Virginia from Vault 76, Sycamore follows the same trend of unhinged that the rest of the Higuchis share.

Sycamore joined up with the Enclave for their own gain at first, later betraying the organization in order to dismantle and take them down from the inside. At which point, their plan was found out and they were ran out. Between all of this, Sycamore married the former raider Beckett and had a set of twins of their own.

Sycamore was, then, killed at the age of 39. Leaving Beckett and two kids behind. Lo and behold though, the aliens known as Zetan took particular interest in their immunities to radiation and revived them; constructing their whole missing half of their head and keeping them suspended in cryogenic pods for a little over 200 years. They wake up, eventually, crash landing an escape pod somewhere in the Commonwealth. With their whole life turned upside down again, in the same year that Sycamore crashed in the Commonwealth (2292), they pick up an odd job as a mortician where they also help with proper burials.

——

Rowan - Sycamore Higuchi’s pet / companion Deathclaw.

Rowan was Sycamore’s trained Deathclaw. Raised from a hatchling, Rowan was a formidable force to be reckoned with. Listening to Sycamore and only Sycamore. Though rough and very snappy, Rowan was protective of the human that took him in and their family, and even if he wasn’t able to use human speech, Rowan showed intelligent thought, recognition and communication patterns; mostly portrayed through the clicks of claws and hisses and huffs. He was first shot down by Sycamore’s killer just a moment before they were, too.

Rowan is deceased.

——

Lecter D. Longfellow - Far Harbor Hunter and Tour Guide

Lecter Devlin Longfellow is the adopted son of Old Longfellow. Orphaned when his parents and baby brother were attacked by a Fog Crawler, he was shortly taken in and adopted by Old Longfellow and raised as his own, while also making him his apprentice.

Lecter is a terribly anxious, shy man, and he remained that way when Original Lecter was replaced by the Lecter we know today; Synth Lecter. Lecter had no idea he was a synth until one fateful day, when helping in Acadia, he injured himself only to discover that he was made up of not only flesh, but metal and wires.

He’s a skilled hunter, knowledgeable in tracking, marine life (and general animal life) and rifles. Despite his timid personality, Lecter is very charismatic man who seeks to help and provide comfort. He calls Old Longfellow dad and he would be devastated if something happened to him.

Lecter’s synth model is that of a mix match between Gen 2 and 3, and has been dubbed a prototype. Pertaining all the flesh and blood of a Gen 3, most of Lecter’s internal structure is made up of wires and metal. Synth name L1-33, Original Lecter was kidnapped off the island by the the tail end of the Institute’s reign of terror, when they started to suspect Far Harbor of holding Synths and intended to make Lecter their spy.

That did not work out at all, and Lecter’s personality overrode his shoddy framework and whatever coding they attempted.

One of his best friends is Deacon and his romantic partner is Hancock.

——

M. Graham Hoolahan - Railroad Agent / Former Brotherhood of Steel Soldier

Full name Miranda Graham Hoolahan, Graham is a Diamond City born resident hailing from the Upper Stands. He never got along with his parents who pressured him to join the Brotherhood of Steel, in which he did in order to get away from them when he turned 20. Previously he worked for Bobrov brothers in their bar as a cleaner, much to his parents’ chagrin.

He went on to join up a branch of the Brotherhood up in Alaska and was shortly transferred to the Capital Wasteland branch, where he met Danse and became a Lancer-Sergeant. Piloting an old Vertibird model named Ebonswift, Graham was amongst the best pilots in the Brotherhood of Steel and even became a certified trainer for cadets.

For almost 6 years, he was a Brotherhood soldier; but for two of those years he had also become a Railroad Agent, working as a spy in the Prydwen under the name code name Smoke.

Graham never enjoyed the views the Brotherhood of Steel later adopted. Later on becoming far more closeted in his bisexuality, Graham dealt with his environment by cannibalism. A habit he later kicks for the sake of Danse, who he falls in love with.

Graham is Paladin Danse’s romantic partner.

——

Abigail Chambers - Institute Scientist

Abigail Chambers is what the Institute refers to her as an “Incubated Baby.” Taken from her mother’s womb, a woman who hailed from California and was traveling through the Commonwealth, Abigail was raised within the Institute, later on becoming an accomplished scientist under the Biological Science wing.

Despite the views of the Institute, Abigail doesn’t agree with them; but having no family and nowhere else to go, she does as told. She also helps Synths escape.

She’s a workaholic but bubbly gal who packs a mean punch but doesn’t know when or how to rest proper.

——

Egan - Semi Aquatic Deathclaw

A hybrid between a Fog Crawler and a Deathclaw, it’s not hard to tell whose parent’s gene was more dominant. Egan is a Far Harbor Deathclaw that can be found roaming bodies of water, minding his own business.

Despite his fearsome appearance, Egan is not hostile unless provoked or shot at. Egan is actually an intelligent Deathclaw capable of speech; though he only speaks to a select few people. One of those being Lecter, who found him washed ashore and injured some time ago.

——

Rory Lavender - Former Vault-Tec Scientist

Rory Lavender is a pre-war ghoul that formerly worked for Vault Tec. In an unidentified vault somewhere in Utah, Rory and his coworkers were to experiment the effects of radiation on the Vault Dwellers. But when the bombs dropped, Rory started having second thoughts and that, in turn, made his coworkers turn on him and use him as a guinea pig.

Later on, he’s kicked out from the vault and left to fend for himself. He managed to make a living out of weapon modifications and set up shop in the same town Quinn used to live.

——

Mads Black - Former Movie Star

Mads Black is a pre-war ghoul who’s all talk and bite. Shit at bartering, he’s still very charismatic. He used to be a movie star along with Dean Domino, who was his boyfriend for a time until becoming bitter scorned lovers who end up being on each other’s throat every time they interact.

I don’t have much for Mads yet as he’s my newest oc, but these are all the guys I have right now!

____

Gomez Sinclair - Lone Wanderer

Gomez Sinclair is the Lone Wanderer of The Capital Wasteland along with his twin sister, Asriel Sinclair ( said lone wanderer is owned by my bf).

A reference for Gomez Sinclair Post-Vault 101/During FO3 Events and Post-FO3 Main Events. Gomez is a rather timid and somewhat closed off individual, even as he was being raised in Vault 101– only really talking to most at length with Asriel, Amata, Jonas and James. After James left the Vault 101, and Gomez and his sister were more or less exiled, Gomez only grew to be more of a nervous wreck and somewhat of a recluse.

With the sudden change in environment and every other wasteland aspect he was barely prepared to face, let alone deal with it himself. Surprisingly, Gomez is charismatic person despite his shyness and often stumbling over his words; a natural silver tongue that makes his awkwardness charming.

Though he’s good with small guns and exclusively hunting rifles, his proficiencies lie within science just like James, Gomez favors energy weapons. Medicine, too, is one of his strong suits, though wouldn’t consider himself to be on a doctor’s level.

The travel through the wasteland to find his dad wears him down significantly, and when James dies right in front of him right after finding him, he doesn’t get any time to mourn his death given the Enclave invading the Jefferson Memorial and the lethal levels of radiation; both him and Asriel having to escort the rest of the scientists through the tunnels + survive the Enclave attack sobers right up but for the worst, since he ends up bottling up James’s death for the sake of taking Project Purity back from the Enclave and take them down.

When it all comes to a head, Gomez, along with his sister, convinces President Eden to destroy the base, and soon enough, the final showdown presents itself and Gomez kills Colonel Autumn. The revenge brings him no relief, only hurt.

After activating Project Purity, Gomez suffers a head injury that requires the Brotherhood of Steel to perform surgery and install brain transplants to save his life.

Gomez bears Colonel Autumn’s uniform as a power move over the Enclave, bearing the uniform to spite and as some sort of reminder.

After some time, Gomez and his sister eventually go on about to do their own things. Gomez becoming an accomplished a scientist, and a lead scientist to keep the clean water production running throughout the Capital Wasteland, in memory of his parents. Some more pass and tensions grow with the Brotherhood of Steel’s presence becoming more present and oppressive, and constantly butting heads with them, disagreeing over a number of things including spreading the clean water throughout the rest of the wasteland like Gomez wanted, he left the project in search of the new Elder of the Brotherhood, Maxson, so he travels the wasteland in search for him— which ends him up in various places. The Mojave, California, even The Commonwealth.

And there is a sense in freedom in this. Not being known as the Lone Wanderer is relieving, having the spotlight on him never felt right nor warranted, despite his accomplishments and following in his dad’s footsteps. 29 year old Gomez is more confident and mature than 19 year old Gomez, still he keeps to himself and retains some of that timidness.

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otdderamin · 1 year

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Fiction C2 Post-Campaign Caleb's Fancy Magic

Summary:

Essek contemplates Caleb's casting style and what it can teach him about his own path forward.

Also on AO3

What if casting spells doesn't actually have to be very elaborate and Caleb Widogast is just super showy and extra. Like a musician who likes to play at open mics and it's the most mind-blowing thing you've ever heard, but that's just how he is by default.

And Essek, who used to clothes shop from fashion shows and wear this stuff to buy milk at the grocery store at 10 pm, took one look at his style and just instantly fell in love.

Magic doesn't have to be that elaborate and showy, especially for every little spell, but Caleb imbues each flourish with the love of creation. The love of weaving the energy of the cosmos into his designs.

So much magical research gets so rote and utilitarian. The most probing experiments with the Beacons were the only things that felt so delicate and beautiful. Unlocking that love for what it's out there. And here's this man who does it for a Cat's Paw spell. Who has, in fact, taken an ordinary spell like Bigby's Hand and remade it to reflect what he loves in life for no utility but beauty and expression.

That thing Essek has been driving himself to destruction to find is right there in the most ordinary light spells. How could Essek resist giving Caleb access to his own knowledge and spells just to see what he will do with them? How he will shape them? How he will reinvent them like a fine chef that makes even a simple dish an extraordinary experience?

And Caleb is not doing this only for his own power, but what he could do to help others with it. Caleb is also generous in what he teaches. Essek has never had someone to just explore what's possible and try things with. Work out the math. See how things connect. Who's excited by that instead of bored. Someone who loved the learning as much as the abilities and results.

And maybe also someone who knows when to stop. When to get tea and a snack. When to fill your cup with sitting on a couch by the fire reading something totally unrelated for pleasure. Because there's always some aspect of the world you've forgotten to account for, and it's not in research books. It's more essential. It's dinner with friends and silly games and deciding there are shapes in the stars only you have shared seeing.

And even on the run, living a double life of disguises, how could Essek stay away too long from the man who grounds him in what is real? Who reminds him of the small beauties in all their rituals. Who reminds him why all of this is worth it now when it would be so easy to feel hopeless.

Caleb's magic wasn't always like this. He had staved off boredom in the Sanitarium for a decade reimagining his spells in his head. When he escaped he finally got to test them and polish them. It was also cover. People knew Bren's style. They didn't know Caleb's. They couldn't see Bren's teacher's idiosyncrasies in them or mark him as from the Academy so easily.

Caleb has gotten to a place where he no longer feels the need to run and hide. He's no longer being hunted for what he did. Maybe one day he can expose what Ludinus did to Essek, too, and that Essek doesn't deserve death for his part. That he's been doing other restorative work and growing. But not today.

So Essek leans into how Caleb hid. He starts to figure out who he is and take on his own casting style. Modify his own spells. For the first time make things his own instead of a stripped down sleek efficient version. It's harder than he expects. It demands he figures out who he wants to really be when he's not mimicking what will impress others the most.

Caleb helps him. Essek watches his sweet, definite hands trace manic through the air. Listens to Caleb teach him what each flourish is doing and why. Essek is entranced by it, and no one's been so entranced with why he does things for himself. There's a deep intimacy and knowing to it. Mapping out the shape of each other's minds. Even the broken shale slag parts.

Caleb jokes about how pumice stone is birthed in fire and toxic pressured gases, but finds new life in conscious hands scrubbing away dead skin to help new life grow unburdened. They were made in rough places and they have been rough, but they can also be used gently and achieve soft things. Carrying pouches of bat guano and running it up your arm is a little weird, but there's some essential spark even in cave shit.

Caleb grows his green beans to remind him what else he's growing. Essek doesn't put down the same roots, but he has an instinct for returning. A migratory bird who knows where his places are, even if he only lingers for a while.

Tonight Caleb has returned and Essek has returned and they have stories to tell about their adventures. Caleb will describe his magic and any new things he tried. Essek will sit with a nice glass of wine conjured from his memories and listen and watch the way Caleb's eyes light up and the way his hands move through his gestures and trace parts of spells. He will feel safe and content even knowing like a spell that it will not last, but it will call some magic of the universe forth that only they ever knew was there.

That is enough when even the things he loved were so cold, so made for someone else or to breeze through them unthinking. Now he is thinking about all of it just for himself. Just for them to understand. And that feels so much healthier. To find the thing he chases so relentlessly, just to see was right in front of him through Caleb's eyes.

#Critical Role #critical role fanfiction #Shadowgast #essek theyless #Caleb Widogast #Fanfiction #What's sexier than wizards? Nothing

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helluvahell · 7 months

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　A quick rundown of each of my muses, to be added to my pinned post.

　VALENTINO, OVERLORD OF LUST

　Sex-driven, aggressive, and dripping with charisma. Valentino rules the Lust Quarter in the Pride Ring, as the owner of nearly every strip club, brothel, and porn studio. The VVV Porn Studios is the biggest XXX filmmaker in the entirety of Hell. 　WARNING : This muse may become touchy, pushy, or sexually aggressive with your character, but will never outright assault them without prior discussion.

　VOX, OVERLORD OF TECHNOLOGY

　The living embodiment of electronics and technology, Vox has monopolized everything in Hell with a wattage, with the exception of the lingering radio industry. He works primarily with Valentino, supplying film and photography supplies, but has had dealings with almost every big name in Hell.

　STRIKER, THE ASSASSIN

　Coming up from the streets and watching the disparity in the treatment between his succubus mother and his imp father, Striker learned at a young age that to get what you want, you have to take it. He's trained himself from childhood to hunt, torture, and kill, and now uses his skills to slaughter the high ranking demons of Hell that keep their heel on those below them.

　BLUE, THE RADIO DEMON

　In an alternate universe, Vaggie is soft spoken and sweet, Husk is a bundle of joy and energy, Angel is a sex-repulsed teetotaler, and Alastor is blue. The Radio Demon has a reputation for being elusive and almost shy, despite his immense power. Those that get close to him hardly survive, and those that do find themselves gripped tightly in his obsessive and dependent hold.

　ASMODEUS, EMBODIMENT OF LUST

　Patron saint of the puppies, littles, voyeurs, fetishists, and perverts, Asmodeus knows Lust in and out. As the youngest of the Sins, he's used to being spoiled, and uses that experience to spoil the people who throw themselves at him. Though some may think of him as an eternally-horny being of pure desire, Asmodeus has a soft side that only those closest to him have ever seen.

　SIR PENTIOUS, THE MAD SCIENTIST

　The definition of insanity is to repeat the same action time and time again expecting a different result, but Sir Pentious would argue that it's just being thorough. A dedicated man of science and logic, Pentious is determined to secure his place in Hell as the newest Overlord, but he keeps falling flat. His inventions have a tendency to self destruct on a hair trigger, perhaps a side effect of his refusal to use modern technology. He'll get there eventually.

　HUSK, THE BARTENDER

　Angry, apathetic, drowning in alcohol and debt. Husk is aware that most look at him and see nothing but failure. Frankly, he doesn't have the energy to care. He spends his days drinking and betting his money and possessions, because what's the point of living your afterlife when you're chained to the Radio Demon's command?

　LUCIFER, RULER OF HELL

　Struck from the very height of Heaven, scarred and broken, left alone and abandoned; weaker men may have fallen to despair. Lucifer -- well, Lucifer started collecting rubber ducks. Who's gonna stop the all-powerful King of Hell from doing whatever the fuck he wants?

　ARACKNISS, THE MOB PRINCE

　Under his father's teachings, Arackniss became a feared gangster in life, and after he was shot down he decided to keep doing what he was best at. Though the Spider Family doesn't yet have total control over the Pride Ring, they're well on their way, with Arackniss leading them. He's ruthless, bloodthirsty, and nothing is standing in his way.

　FATHER, ALMIGHTY CREATION

　He is known by many names, though the majority of them just translate to God. Father, as He prefers to be called, is the ultimate creator of Heaven, Hell, and everything in between. He rarely leaves His golden throne past the Pearly Gates, but when He does, it's often to visit family. What kind of Father would He be otherwise?

　LUKAS & LYDIA, THE SUCCUBUS

　He's absolutely beautiful. Smooth, unblemished pink skin, pointed horns, glittering yellow eyes, thin but not scrawny, with a healthy bit of muscle and a head of fluffy black hair. She's drop dead gorgeous, with dangerous curves and a haunting gaze behind a curtain of silky black locks. The only problem is that they're connected at the hip -- literally. Lukas and Lydia might be two people, but the money maker is below their conjoined waist, making them qualify as a singular succubus. Even in Hell, that makes business... a little hard. 　WARNING : This muse may reference incest in a serious or joking way due to the nature of the characters.

　NERO, THE CASINO MASTER

　He's hardly the most intimidating of Sinners. Nero stands at a diminutive four feet and ten inches, his horns only giving him a few extra on top of that. But that doesn't stop him from making a name for himself. Working under contract for Mammon, Nero owns the majority of casinos in the Pride Ring. He's no Overlord, but he has enough power nearly to rival one, especially if you find yourself indebted to him.

#👁️ SKEPTIC; OOC.

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goldenboygate · 9 months

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✿ goldenboygate master list ✿

ongoing - completed

personal favorite = ✿

Black Velvet ✿ - carlando - 47,9k - rating: 18+

Lando has gone through a lot in his life. When he was 13, his mom went missing, and he was left with a dad who wanted nothing to do with him. All of this has caused abandonment issues that make him cling to anyone who shows him kindness. When he starts working at Sapphire, a strip club owned by Lewis Hamilton, he finally starts figuring himself out. But what he doesn't realise is that he's launching a chain of events that can ultimately lead him to lose everything he holds dear to his heart while simultaneously resurrecting the ghosts of his past.

Impractical Magic ✿ - carlando - 25,9k - rating: 18+

Charles and Lando were born into a family where falling in love means you end up dead. They take different paths in life, Charles wanting nothing more in life than to feel the exhilaration love brings, and Lando too afraid to ever put himself out there. When Charles gets into trouble with one of his boyfriends, Lando must figure out how to help him while trying his best not to fall in love with the one man who can take his life apart, Detective Carlos Sainz.

i've tried my best to let go (but i don't want to) ✿ - carlando, charlos sr - 38,5k - rating: 18+

After an unexpected heat during his vacation, newly crowned champion Charles is left in a sticky situation with his teammate, his teammate's dad, and his teammate's boyfriend. Can they get out on the other side unscathed, or are they all bound to break apart?

The Sins of the Father ✿ - carlando - 12k - rating: 18+

Lando and Carlos are detectives that work together. Carlos is in a happy relationship, while Lando has a problem with settling down and spends his free time fucking around (and sometimes finding out). Lando has emotional problems after his mother was murdered and his father had a mental breakdown resulting in him moving out of the country and leaving Lando with his former police partner and his wife. His mom's murder has never been solved, and when new evidence is brought up, Lando goes against everyone and everything he knows is right, to make sure that he can avenge her.

Not so close anymore, eh? - carlando - 18,3k - rating: 18+

Based on real moments during race weekends.

You Found Me - carlando - 26,2k - rating: 18+

Lando is MI6 and is forced to work with an arrogant CNI intelligence officer named Carlos.

life after you - carlando - 28,4k - rating: 18+

After Lando loses James, his fiancé, in an accident, he must learn to pick himself back up with the help of the friends James left behind. He discovers that love isn't always what it appears to be and that loving again isn't a crime, even if it's with even if it's with his dead fiancé's best friend.

all you have to do (stay) ✿ - carlando - 8,4k - rating: 18+

Lando doesn't quite know how it had evolved to this, how he had become the grid's trophy or consolation prize in some instances. All he knows is that it fills a void, gives him purpose, and makes him feel wanted. He loves taking care of them. But who's taking care of Lando?

worship me beneath the sheets - multi - 2,6k - rating: 18+

Best friends Daniel and Max meet strangers Charles and Lando at a club and take them back to their hotel.

the night belongs to lovers - multi - 3,5k - rating: 18+

the twitch quartet celebrate in australia

hanging by a moment (here with you) - multi - 3,8k - rating: 18+

Lando gets taken apart by Max and Charles, but in the end, only Carlos can make him experience pure ecstasy.

he's not you but he'll have to do - carlando sr - 2,5k - rating: 18+

Lando wants Carlos and might even need him. But Carlos is in a relationship and has no interest in Lando. Carlos Sr is the next best thing

summer sweat - carlando - 1,5k - rating: 18+

Carlos spends a hot summer day with Lando and his family, and Lando has some plans.

brighter side (i'll find you there) - carlando - 1,7k - rating: K

Lando reminisces on his life with Carlos

Good For You (I Just Wanna Be) - carlando - 2k - rating: 18+

Carlos didn't expect this - to fall for his 19-year-old teammate. He also didn't expect his 19-year-old teammate to want to top him. And the last thing he expected was for Lando's dick to be this big. But Carlos isn't complaining.

lando and carlos and carlos and carlos ✿ - multi - 5,8k - rating: 18+

Lando keeps making mistakes with men called Carlos. He keeps making mistakes until one night when he doesn't.

the adventures of omega princess lando and his good boy, alpha carlos sainz jr - carlando - 19,5k - rating: 18+

Lando is an Omega princess, and Carlos is his Alpha bodyguard. Chaos.

papa carlos and his pillow princess ✿ - charlos sr - 10,2k - rating: 18+

a series on charles and papa sainz

#karenína writes #k master list

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hobertgadling · 2 years

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Headcanon: Jobs

Hob Gadling has had a multitude of jobs. Such is the case if you are an immortal trying to make it seem like you're not immortal. Also, if you are simply a man who derives pleasure from living. Therefore, Hob stuck his fingers into as many pies as he could, resulting in quite an impressive resume.

He was, and is, a simple man and started his life as his father had, earning his living by soldiering. He had continued on soldiering until the mid 1400s, where he took up an apprenticeship as a printmaker. He saw the rise of the moveable type and a boom in literacy among the people.

After amassing an insane amount of wealth, he became knighted and soon, had little use for a job. He lived his days in excess and splendor, enjoying the company of his wife and son, excited for another child on the way.

However, at the turn of the 15th century, the immortal lost everything. He lost his knighthood, his wife, his unborn child, and his son. He was stripped of his wealth and drowned as a witch, something that was ultimately fruitless but nonetheless traumatic to experience. He was starved and horribly alone and yet, he lived on.

In the 1700s, with the growing slave trade and the seemingly endless wealth in the West, Hob dove head first into a nasty business. This is where the immortal gained the majority of his wealth until he was advised against partaking in the slave trade any longer.

After taking the much needed advice, Hob turned to better things. He became a philanthropist of sorts, using the 'generational' wealth he had been collecting over the centuries to help those less fortunate than himself. He was viewed as a suave and gentlemanly fellow by most but soon, shortly after 1889, Robert Gadling, or some assumed his son who looked just like him, turned to more violent ways of earning money.

The immortal found himself inside fighting rinks, boxing other men for money. Perhaps it was unfair on these other, mortal men who weren't given the pleasure of having centuries of soldiering experience. Nor were they given the pleasure of being immortal. He was well known in the underground fighting circle as being ruthless in the ring and far too compassionate everywhere else.

Shortly after the start of the 20th century, Hob got back into soldiering. He fought in the Great War, something he found utterly atrocious and not at all like the wars he had fought centuries ago.

The roaring 20s came and went with Hob partying just like anyone else did. Then the 30s came and miraculously, Hob was able to keep a handle on his money, unlike many other people. In the 40s, he was once again pulled into his oldest of occupations. He may have complained about the Great War, but nothing would compare to the Second World War. It would take him decades, centuries perhaps, to push those images from his mind.

In the 50s and 60s, Robert found himself in the middle of a crime ring. He was staunchly against violence aimed towards innocent people but he didn't mind a little pilfering from the rich and horrible here or there or performing elaborate heists. It only further added to his security blanket of wealth.

From the 70s until the early 2000s, Hob delved into business. He had accumulated enough wealth to invest in new, promising products and even helped start a few businesses himself.

Then, in the 2010s, he decided to start a new career. Vastly different from anything he'd ever done. He officially got his masters degree in History and became a professor at a university in London.

#headcanon #{does any of this make sense besides the canon stuff?}#{no probably not}#{but i don't care}#{hob is a jack of all trades}

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askteletraaniv · 2 years

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Is there a universe where Galvatron doesn’t die in Headmasters but still Prime does? He would he have to deal with a powerstruggle with Devil Z, Deathsaurus, Viloen Jigger and Dark Nova? Would they pledge their allegiance to Galvatron or try to oppose him or work alongside him?

Again, the multiverse is infinite, so there most certainly are several universes where Galvatron doesn't get trapped in the ice by the headmasters (technically still alive until he was upgraded by Dark Nova)

But Masterforce and on would be vastly different for the simple reason that the main autobot decepticon conflict never ends up leaving Earth, Galvatron is the sort of tyrant who will NEVER give up on a prospective conquest and so he continues to scheme and attempt to claim Earth even more feverently after Cybertron explodes. While Scorpinok manages to survive, scheming to over throw Galvatron yet another day, the conflict ends up burning for so long that eventually, the God Master's start to uncover their destined transtectors amidst the conflict, and Devil Z arrives on Earth. In the timeline proper, Devil Z, a vok like ascended being, took advantage of the Decepticon forces in their absence of a emperor of destruction to lead them, but here to get his work done, he instead has to make a deal with the existing one to get the man power he needs.

Now Galvatron in all of his insanity craves one thing above all else, Power, it's the one thing he has left from his former Megatron personae due to the way those acid pools damage his brain module, so not considering the potential foul play afoot, he of course takes Devil Z up on his offer. However in doing so, Devil Z takes the Mad Tyrant as his host and reformats him, much in the way he had with Scorpinok/Majin Zarak, and so Galvatron becomes the black armored MEGATRON X.

Ironically restoring his sanity circuits, only to have his autonomy stripped from him by playing host to the entity that is Devil Z. As the conflict rages, harder than in the main timeline as Devil Z has the full Decepticon Empire at his disposal, the Autobots call re-enforcements to Earth from their colonization projects, including Rodimus Prime's protégé and personal choice for next Supreme Commander, Star Saber. To combat these higher forces, Overlord gets re-engineered to combine with Megatron X into MAOU MEGATRON X. Ultimately, the Masterforce conflicts come to a close in an all out brawl between God Ginrai, with a few upgrades to God Bomber thanks to Star Saber's engineering expertise, and Maou Megatron X, ultimately purging Devil Z from Megatron's body. After the experience of having his autonomy torn from him, Megatron...reconsiders his position, and with Scorpinok and Deathsaurus leading various coup attempts...

Megatron and a small group of Decepticons, including Soundblaster, make the choice to defect to the autobots. Megatron knows there's no way to truly atone for what he's done, but the least he can do now is fight to stop anyone from doing what he once had with whatever life he has left. He altered his body again, now that he was truly himself once more, and Megatron's aid during Victory ultimately results in Ginrai's survival against Deathsaurus.

#Transformers Theory #Transformers #Maccadam #Galvatron #Megatron X #Autobot Megatron #...I will say if you want me to write fanfics for you #you could pay me

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indigolovesong · 2 years

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❛ i can’t stop thinking about you. ❜ leo @ natsume

Opportunities became so rare recently for Natsume and Leo to meet up with each other because of their respective careers. It didn't help that they had been dancing around their feelings for a while either. They both liked each other and both knew it, but neither of them had spoken up about it.

So it colored Natsume surprised when he received an invitation to Italy from the former king of Knights. Of all the people Leo could have mailed a plane ticket to, it was not to any of his unitmates nor a close friend, but it was to Natsume rather. Regardless, the magician graciously took the ticket to fly to his roommate's apartment overseas after gently persuading Tsumugi to allow him a brief vacation.

He won't openly admit that he missed Leo. He secretly missed how annoyingly bright and energetic the composer was, even rivalling his own eccentricity, that dragged Natsume into his own pace. Natsume had become quite fond of the free-spirited king, to the point he doesn't shove him off when the former tackle-hugs him at the airport.

For his first day in Italy, his plan had been to shower and sleep off his jet lag, before discussing plans with his roommate in the morning for their tour. While he was technically on vacation, he would make the best of his overseas experience to gather inspiration for Switch. And of course, Natsume was more than happy to allow Leo to be his tour guide and was looking forward to spending time with him.

He had just removed all his clothes when Natsume hears a knock on the bathroom door. Curious to know what Leo wanted, he wrapped a towel around his waist and opened the door. Warm arms shot out to immediately hug him quite easily and again, Leo has tackled him down to bathroom rug, nuzzling against his chest like an affectionate cat.

"I can't stop thinking about you."

Such words redden Natsume's cheeks, along with the fact they're in this compromising position. How can he not feel embarrassed when he's nearly naked underneath the man he likes who just told him that his thoughts never strayed away from him?

The foolish king even takes note of his embarrassment ( "Natsu, why are you red?" ), tilting his head innocently as if he played no part in this. He simply came to be affectionate to Natsume out of pure instinct and want, not realizing how much further they could potentially take this. It's frustrating he doesn't realize this and Natsume gives out a soft sigh and strokes the side of Leo's face before kissing him.

It started off as a sweet and chaste kiss as if Natsume was casting a spell on him. The kiss gradually deepens when he decides to slip his tongue in and grip Leo's hair just a bit roughly. As the kiss becomes more heated, the redhead mouths a small moan and he can just feel the older male freeze up that almost makes Natsume smirk. He breaks the kiss between them with a trail of saliva falling from the corner of his mouth and stared at Leo with glassy eyes, before breathing out huskily:

"Then don't stop thinking about ME. Take me."

Natsume prides himself of being incredibly capable of flipping on people's switches. Leo, as eccentric as he was, is no exception. The result of this was immediate: clothes were hastily thrown off, his own towel being stripped away, and Natsume finding his back pressed against the ceramic shower walls with the hot spray of water raining down on his skin. His heart skips a beat, thrilled with excitement and lust. His partner laughs out loud, his now loose and wet hair falling to his shoulders, framing his face quite gorgeously. It's a rare and dangerously handsome look from his maybe-boyfriend that Natsume almost forgets to breathe while staring at him.

And Leo doesn't give him another chance to breathe when their lips crash for another heated kiss. Wrapping his arms around Leo's neck and grinding his lower body in response, Natsume's calculating brain ceases to think anymore as lust and passion overwhelms him.

Perhaps he'll simply copy the composer and just empty his head to allow his instinct to rule.

Natsume wanted to smack Leo lightly for biting him everywhere. It was not because it hurt just a bit, but it was going to be difficult to hide wherever the composer marked him when they go out in public in the morning. The miscreant, on the other hand, was out like a light besides him in the bed, ignorant of his small crimes.

The magician sighs to himself. He really fancies this foolish king too much.

#{ suggestive }#{ magician striving for the future: rp }#kurmemini #{ thanks to new natsume card i ended up not going back to sleep and instead finished this haha }

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queen-of-writing-bad-things · 3 months

Text

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Episode 9: Broken Armed and Dangerous

Life in the Man Cave had resumed being like it ever was. Not normal, life in those four walls was never normal, not with Ray and his bad decisions, Schwoz and his mad experiments, Jasper with his weird comments, and the endless exasperation of (y/n), Henry and Charlotte.

Nevertheless, after the escapade with Rick Twitler, they'd fallen back into the same rhythm that they'd always worked to; fun, laughter and a few fights in between. Of course, Henry was still getting used to being stripped of his superpowers and there had been a few mishaps during emergencies where his reaction times hadn't been great since everything was so much slower now. He was trying his best, bless his little heart, and things had been going fine for the most part...until today, that is.

"In our number two story tonight, The Playground Pooper has struck again," Mary Gaperman reported as Jasper, Charlotte and Schwoz giggled at the news. As always when Captain Man and his sidekicks were out on a mission, they were left to sit around and do nothing--or watch the news and eat sorbet from tennis balls. Y'know, something normal.

"The Swellview Police suddenly have more doodies than usual because someone or something has been using Swellview playgrounds every night as a toilet," Trent went on, resulting in more laughter from the three. It wasn't the most serious crime, even if it was disgusting for the parents who had very curious toddlers in the sandpit the next day but the way they were reporting this pooper was hilarious. Was it on purpose or were they oblivious to every pun they made related to poo?

"Police have piles of evidence, but have yet to arrest the prankster, despite being flushed with clues."

"Has the news always been this funny?" Jasper asked as he ate another spoonful of sorbet and his friends laughed and shrugged. If it was always this funny, they'd watch more often since nothing fun ever happened when the heroes were out saving people. Good thing they were back then.

As they carried on eating, the tubes beeped and dropped, bringing down Ray with (y/n) in his embrace, nothing out of the ordinary there, and a rather glum-looking Henry, who was clutching his arm. And with their arrival came a problem, not that the helpers were interested.

"We got a bad situation here, people," (y/n) announced as she helped Henry down the stairs, her hand in the small of his back so he didn't trip and hurt himself even more than he already was. There had been a small incident during their time away and it was no laughing matter judging by how the kid kept wincing with every jolt or movement. And understandably, Ray was just as concerned as his sweet girl, although not as focused, unfortunately.

"We know... The Playground Pooper has struck again," Charlotte stood up, folded her arms and replied in a dark, serious tone that mocked the gravity of the real situation. In fairness to her, she didn't know that her friend needed some genuine assistance urgently, otherwise, she probably wouldn't have been so jovial, but her playfulness caused Ray's eyes to light up at the name of his new favourite lowlife and instantly, Henry didn't matter as much.

"No way! Really?!" the hero barked out, laughing with his helpers when he heard about the weirdo who couldn't stop crapping in public, but neither Kid nor Miss Danger was in a joking mood. Did the sight of him holding his left arm to his chest not mean anything to them?

"Ummm, no, actually it's a little bit of a different bad situation--ow!"

"Shhh! I wanna hear this!" Ray interrupted his youngest sidekick so he could hear the news report, not even blinking when he whacked the kid's poor arm despite his injury. (y/n) glared at her adorable idiot for being so mean and absentminded because the resulting groan from him and any possible aggravation to the injury made her heart sore.

"Raymond, we've got bigger prob--hey!" she went to scold him, prodding his arm as he sat down on the arm of the couch and stared at the monitor happily. His attention was fully trained on what the news anchors were saying, but that didn't stop him from seizing her body with an iron grip and dragging her onto his knee, thinking that the amusing story could only get better if he hugged his sweet girl to his chest and laughed with her. And normally, (y/n) would love to laugh with him, if Henry wasn't in serious pain.

"Police have no idea who is doing the dumping; an angry teen, a large baby, Mary. No one knows."

"It's a real poo-dunnit," Mary smiled and they all laughed at her little joke, well, everyone apart from Henry, who wrinkled his nose when he saw that (y/n) was trying to fight off a smile. Oh, come on, he got that she and Ray were touchier than ever after nearly losing each other for the fiftieth time but seriously? He dragged her into his arms and now she was losing her focus just because his lips brushed the curve of her ear and the grumbling of his laughter made her tummy feel funny. Talk about no resilience.

"A poo-dunnit... It's probably Jasper," Ray smiled and dropped as he mentioned his guess, much to the boy's shock and annoyance. Who said anything about it being him? He wasn't depraved or an animal, weird, yes, a wrong-un, no.

"What?!"

"I was just gonna going to say that!" Schwoz agreed with his boss, which was a bit ironic given how weird he was himself. He was strange but Jasper had a specific type of weirdness, one that screamed pooping in public when no one was around but he'd never do that, not since he'd outgrown most of his weirdness.

"It's not me!"

"I don't know, Jasper...it just smells like something you'd do," Charlotte joked, causing another round of laughter from the group as they teased the boy. He wasn't best pleased and neither was Henry, who could swear that the throbbing was getting worse and giving him a headache, or maybe that was merely the frustrating lack of help.

"That's actually really funny, that's actually really funny--all right, joke's over," Jasper pouted and walked away from the couch with a bruised ego. They could laugh all they wanted, the only thing he did at night was sleep, not go off doing his business in playgrounds.

"I'm not joking, I seriously think it's you," Ray replied in one of the most serious voices (y/n) had ever heard him use, one that was only reserved for when he seriously needed to say sorry or if he was deadly serious about something.

"Okay, guys, can we focus on what happened to me, please?" Henry tried again, appealing to (y/n) by meeting her gaze as she turned in Ray's arms in a bid for freedom. He was still clingy and she had no choice but to slouch against him again but she could at least put a word in for the kid. After all, Ray only ever properly listened to her.

"Raymond, we should focus on Henry and—oh, look! They're talking about you, that's kinda freaky..." the woman trailed off when her point became useless as Trent and Mary moved onto the next big story of the night, which just so happened to hit closer to home, unlike the Playground Pooper.

Ray grinned and slapped the kid's arm again, delighted that his sidekick was in the news because any publicity is good publicity, right? It made (y/n) glare at him again but with his nose pushed into her hair and his eyes trained on the monitor, he couldn't see his mistake. What a doofus.

"In non-funny news, witnesses say that Kid Danger, while teaming up with Captain Man and Miss Danger to fight super-criminal, Doctor Karaté, broke his arm this evening," Mary reported, causing everyone not in the know to look at Henry in horror. No wonder he was holding his arm like that, the poor kid had taken a serious beating and was now seriously hurt.

Everyone had seen it happen and Captain Man may or may not have had a slight panic attack about his youngest sidekick being hurt, which resulted in Miss Danger having to keep calm and reassure him that it wasn't too bad. The only bad thing was how quickly the paps seemed to pick up on it.

"You broke your arm?!" Jasper asked his friend, a gasp escaping his mouth at the shock and horror. His dear best friend, wounded and hurt, didn't serve thinking about it.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you guys!" Henry exclaimed, feeling beyond frustrated that it was only now that he could explain what had happened during what should have been a normal, bog-standard mission, " Doctor Karaté karate-chopped my arm."

"I bet you wish you still had your superpower," Jasper noted, unintentionally rubbing salt in the wound for Henry, who was still a tad bitter about losing his power but he hadn't let it bother him until now. There was nothing he could do, so there was no point in feeling sorry for himself, but come on, it sucked when someone made it worse when he was trying his best.

"Yeah."

"Because if you still had your super-fast reflexes, you could have just...moved out of the way!"

"All right, I got it!" The boy snapped at his friend. It wasn't like Henry to get irate but Jasper was kinda asking for it with his subtle taunts.

"Hey, snappy, calm down...we've had enough flying fists for one night," (y/n) told him, freeing herself from Ray's deadlocked embrace to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. She still had one arm around her waist, keeping her close—joined-at-the-hip close—but the gesture was enough for Henry to ignore how clingy his boss was being tonight. The kid was beaten up enough, there was no need for conflict to be brought home and certainly not between best friends.

"You guys, this is really bad," Charlotte said as Schwoz waddled over to examine Henry's arm—not that he didn't trust Miss Danger's eye for injuries, but a second opinion never hurt. For some reason unknown to everyone else, the girl looked perturbed as if she'd realised something no one else had, not even her fellow smarty-pants. To be fair, it had been a stressful night and no one can clock on to everything.

"It's just a broken arm," Schwoz told her as he poked it. He didn't understand her tone; in his mind, he thought she was worried about the severity of the injury, not any repercussions because of it. "We'll cut it off, it'll grow right back."

"What?! No!" Henry blanched at the prognosis and treatment, his terrified eyes looking for (y/n) for help since she was the best nurse he'd ever had. He loved his arm, he hadn't finished with it yet and he sure as hell hoped she wouldn't let the funny bald guy cut it off. They weren't gonna do that, were they?

"That's not how arms work, Schwoz! Geez, where'd you get your science degree? A thrift store?" The woman gave him a funny look because no scientist had ever learned that in school. Maybe it came from his long, lonely stints in the lab where he'd experiment until the early hours with mutants and freaks, sewing arms onto legs and legs onto heads—things everyone else tended to avoid. They didn't ask and he didn't say, so perhaps he was getting his biology mixed up.

"Oh, right, that's a starfish..." Schwoz nodded with an understanding smile, having realised his mistake. Weirdo. What starfish had he been messing with? And why did Henry trigger the same knowledge? As the others pondered his peculiar habits, Charlotte stepped forward, feeling the same burn in her chest as Henry had—the need to shout something out so it didn't eat her alive.

"Listen! What's bad is that if everyone in Swellview knows that Kid Danger broke his arm tonight, then Henry Hart suddenly shows up tomorrow morning with a broken arm, then any idiot can put two and two together and figure out that Henry is Kid Danger," she explained and suddenly, a wave of uneasiness came over the group. Well, most of it, only those who took her worry onboard understood her argument.

"She has a point. It certainly looks suspicious and people aren't as stupid as they look," (y/n) added, agreeing with Charlotte because if she had noticed the similarities, surely someone else would too, someone who wasn't in on the secret. They were the right height, age, build, appearance, everything, an observant kid could see that Kid Danger and Henry Hart were the same.

"I don't know... I don't think anyone's going to put anyth—" Schwoz started, his opinion differing from the girls' because it was just one of those worries that would never come to fruition. Henry had been going to school ever since he started working and no one had even come close to seeing the truth. Why was now any different? A broken arm? People are dumb, that wouldn't prove anything.

"I just put two and two together!" Or not. It truly said something about his confidence in the stupidity of the human race when the slowest lady in the city saw the obvious. Seriously, Mary Gaperman outsmarted Schwoz, it couldn't be true.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes! People should look out for a boy about Kid Danger's height, about Kid Danger's age, who has a newly broken arm, because that boy would be..." For once in her life, and to Trent's amazement, Mary was on the verge of a breakthrough, her grey cells working harder than ever to come to an astounding conclusion. Everyone was on edge but whilst some citizens were desperate to hear her big theory, the Man Cave team were hoping a meteorite hit the news studio in the next three seconds.

"Keep going, Mary..."

"No, stay right where you are, Mary. Keep your mouth shut..." (y/n) begged silently, hoping that the woman, who she'd always been quite fond of, would hear her plea. It had been a long night and they still had to set Henry's arm, she didn't fancy having a possible exposure situation involving every kid at Swellview High knowing who Kid Danger was.

"The Playground Pooper?" Mary offered her co-host, who winced at her inability to complete her brilliant moment. Ray and his family breathed a sigh of relief at the small miracle, thanking the universe for making Mary so dim-witted because it had saved them a heap of trouble. It wasn't very exciting for the tabloids but what they didn't know, wouldn't hurt them—or anyone else.

"Oooh, so close! No, Mary, that boy would be Kid Danger." And just like that, Trent took their miracle and tore it into little pieces, something that was so delightful for him because who doesn't like a juicy story?

They groaned, they shouted, they stomped their feet because Charlotte had been right, any idiot could see the correlation and now there was gonna be a damn witch-hunt for the kid who turned up to school with a cast.

"See?!"

"Okay, we have a big problem on our hands." Schwoz conceded. Yeah, now he agreed with her, now it was too late to do anything.

"I agree. How are we going to get Jasper to stop pooping in playgrounds?" Ray joked, his small way of breaking the ice in the grave moment. (y/n) gave him a small smile for his effort, just enough to make it worth it because a pouty fiancé was no fun and if Henry's identity wasn't at risk then it would've been quite funny if a little infuriating for the kid being mocked.

"It's not me!" It probably wasn't Jasper, they knew he was a freak but he wasn't that big of a freak. No, he was innocent but winding him up was so much fun that they weren't gonna stop poking fun just yet. After all, the jokes didn't stink that bad.

First things first. Get Henry's arm fixed.

Not even Schwoz had the technology to magically get it back to normal straight away, at least not in a way that Henry was comfortable with, so as he scanned the broken bone, he and (y/n) (the supervising nurse), agreed to go for something more traditional.

A simple, plain cast that would hold the bone in place as it healed would do fine and whilst it would be difficult to explain to his family, Henry was happy with that option. It didn't involve amputation or fire or exsanguination so it was fine—plus, it was kinda cool to see his injury flash up on Schwoz's monitor.

"That thing detect muscles too, Schwoz? 'Cause I'm looking at Henry's arm and I'm not seeing any," Ray teased as he loitered around the couch, observing his sidekick as he longed out of uniform and allowed Schwoz to scan his arm. He was bored, that much was obvious, and he'd taken to making playful jokes at the kid since the scene was so dull and serious.

Namely, his lack of upper body strength since the kid lacked any kind of bulk given that he was still a child and he, the bulkiest guy around, had muscles to spare—something he was showing off in his tight t-shirt for one lovely-looking nurse.

"Nice. Just broke my arm. Perfect time to start making fun of me," Henry offered his jovial boss a sarcastic smile, not best pleased with how he loved to point out his deficiencies when he was already down. Yeah, he hadn't started bodybuilding yet, and yeah, his wrists still went all the way up his arms, but it didn't mean he couldn't punch a guy in the face for being an ass.

"It was a joke, relax!"

"Don't poke the bear then, Mr Muscles," (y/n) teased her doofus back as she crossed the room just to squeeze his bicep. It was easy for him to make fun of others when he already had the body of a Greek god but he had to remember one thing; he was just as skinny once upon a time. He'd drunk a million protein shakes, pressed a million press-ups and punched a million bad guys to get where he was with his fitness and now he had the right to show off in front of his drooling fiancée, but no right to make fun of the kid who might just out-muscle him one day.

"I'm not poking anything, darlin'. It was funny! Did he break his funny bone too?" The hero smirked and practically became putty in her hands as she not-so-subtly felt his arms and the rippling muscles that he not-so-subtly flexed under her touch. He knew she had a thing for them since they were so big that she couldn't get her hands around them and seeing her so in love with the sight of them was exactly his style.

"Actually, he did!" Schwoz told him, pointing to the screen where he had an x-ray scan of Henry's broken arm and it showed a clean break in a particular bone.

"Oh, yeah...look, doofus, the break is in his humerus bone," (y/n) pointed out to her lover, making the impossible task of taking her focus away from his hot body in favour of making sure he looked at the scan. The hero stepped past his lover, placing a kiss on her shoulder as he did, and bent over to look at his sidekick's arm because somewhere under the skin, there was the break his smart girl had shown him.

"Oh, yeah! Right there!" He grinned and jabbed the sore arm, which, understandably, pissed the kid off. It wasn't his day.

"Hey! What the heck, dude?! Stop!"

"Where's my finger poking?"

"What are you doing? Who does that? Stop! Stop! You're literally touching the most broken part of my bone right now! Can you stop?! (y/n), control your man-child fiancé!" Henry screeched as Ray prodded his arm, loving how he could see his finger and the bones beneath his skin on the scan whenever he did. It was just a bit of fun for him, but for Henry, each stab was an agonising sting.

"Okay, easy! She doesn't control me..." Ray backed off when the teen got vicious, his hands held up in surrender. Yeah, (y/n) didn't control him, that would be weird but she had some influence, especially when it came to tempt him away from annoying others.

"Stop terrorising the kid, doofus, and come over here," (y/n) smiled at him and dragged the man off to the side so Henry could receive Schwoz's treatment in peace. Reaching up on her tiptoes, the woman brought her lover into a gentle kiss, sighing happily when those arms that he loved to show off wrapped around her small form. That would keep him quiet for long enough as he refused to let go, only venturing deeper for the taste of honey.

"Ugh, gross...what are we doing? What's the plan?" Henry wrinkled his nose at the sight of them but didn't look a gift horse in the mouth and so moved on very quickly. If (y/n) could keep Ray entertained then who was he to stop that, even if the way he crowded her seemed to be a little overbearing? She seemed to like it, after all, she hadn't even swatted away his hands on her...yet. If they couldn't get a room, maybe he'd shove them into one.

"The plan is...you blow a bubble and fix your arm trouble," Schwoz replied, ignoring whatever were those strange noises that were coming from behind him, no doubt from the handsy hero as he ate the face of his quivering sweet girl. Give him strength, it was only his clever pun that gave him the strength to go on...or whip out his altar for them to get the marriage thing over and done with now.

"See? I can do rhymes too.."

"Pfff! Big—deal, you did a—rhyme. I do them all the..." Ray mumbled in between kisses and rolled his eyes when he noticed that Schwoz was giving him a mean glare. What? He couldn't help it if the sight of his floppy hair, tight shirt and huge biceps made his sweet girl want to kiss him and he couldn't help it if her just being her made him want to find a flat surface and revert to his caveman instincts. Was it really that bad to be in love with the woman he was going to spend the rest of his life with?

"Come on, doof, you can do it."

"...Every day." So close and yet so far. (y/n) giggled as Ray fell at the last hurdle, proving that whilst he was the cool hero, his quips weren't always the best, which was probably why he often spent hours coming up with them with his precious girl when they were tucked up in bed and too tired to do...other things.

"You're adorable, Raymond. Y'know that?" The woman in his arms remarked and sealed their lips again as his ears turned pink. Ignoring the loved-up couple once more, albeit, with a hidden smile on his face, Henry blew the bubble that Schwoz had handed to him; a simple yet effective method of getting a cast on his arm. It materialised, plaster wrapped with blue gauze and despite it already being a few seconds, Henry's arm felt better already.

"Hey, whoa!" "Nice cast, Schwoz! This problem is...solved!" Ray grinned, wandering over to inspect the new addition to Henry's outfit. He hadn't learnt his lesson, not at all, as he slapped the cast for good measure, and despite the solid plaster, the resounding thunk was still painful for Henry and his tender arm. He'd not pull any more faces if the kissing came back, kissing meant his arm wasn't a target.

"Ow! This problem is not solved," he winced but stayed focused on how they'd dealt with his arm, but not the big issue that they'd all been worried about. Had the kiss fried his brain or could he genuinely not remember?

"Why not?" Or maybe he was just stupid. Henry had long suspected that his boss wasn't playing with a full deck but now it was confirmed. He was dumb and a terrible listener, something which worsened when there was a certain pretty girl around.

"Because, doofus, if people see that Henry broke his arm, then they'll know he's Kid Danger, remember?"

"Oh, yeahhhh! You're so smart, sweet girl..." (y/n) blushed as Ray gave her his dopiest smile and trailed kisses across her cheek to her lips, a well-deserved reward, he thought, for the girl who kept him in line when he was being an idiot. He couldn't help himself, not when she was standing there, looking all pretty and sweet and perfect, and not when she'd been biting her lip non-stop the moment he changed out of his uniform and into the shirt he'd bought two sizes too small for him.

"Dude! How am I gonna hide this cast until my arm heals?" Henry butted in. They were going to be soon, couldn't this wait? Then, they'd have all night to do whatever floated their boat, so all he wanted right now, was a few minutes of their time to come up with a sensible plan. One that Ray wasn't gonna find at the back of (y/n)'s throat, so there was no point in looking there.

"Ugh! Easy!... We break Henry's other arm."

"Doofus..." Being interrupted didn't go down very well with the hero, who now had a ridiculous idea in his head and no warning note in his fiancée's voice was gonna shut him up as he dragged her towards the couch. If he could kiss her like he sorely wanted to, then he'd offer up his ideas, even if they weren't very good.

"So, he'll have two broken arms and that way, nobody will think he's Kid Danger. This problem is...solved," Ray smirked and flopped down onto the couch next to Henry, who gave him a bored look as he pulled his sweet girl into his lap too. He expected to be allowed to resume their activities, tonsil tennis mainly, but for once, (y/n) jerked her head away from his when he went in for another kiss, meaning his lips landed on her jawline instead. Hell, he could work with that, it often lead to something more than kisses anyway.

"You're not breaking my arm, dude," Henry said firmly, watching with squinted eyes as Ray spread his legs even further to try and coax (y/n) into his chest more, his attention on her than anything else. It was just one of those nights, he was feeling touchy, but the stupidity of breaking another arm didn't fix the problem, it made it worse.

"Okay, Schwoz'll do it."

"Raymond—Ray—okay, stop!" (y/n) scolded him in between giggles as his nose tickled its way down the column of her neck and tried to brush against her own. She had an excellent point and whilst she'd love nothing more than to bask in his attention, there was a serious floor in his plan.

"Don't you think that if Henry Hart turns up with two broken arms, then it'll be exactly the same when Kid Danger also turns up with two broken arms? Either way, the problem won't go away with your plan."

"Oh, yeah..." Ray looked slightly downcast as he realised what she was saying but immediately perked up when she pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose to cheer him up. It wasn't the best idea ever, but he was trying and that warmed her heart anyway.

"I have a different plan," Schwoz announced and smiled at them as he too tapped Henry's arm, causing the boy to wince yet again. When were people gonna realise that doing that caused him severe pain? At least it was fleeting, that was a bonus, and he quickly forgot about the agony shooting up his arm as Charlotte and Jasper appeared from the sprocket carrying...stuff. The genius had sent them on a small mission to find a few things for him, all of which he hoped would help Henry blag his way through the healing process.

"Hey, I found the case of fake arms!" Jasper yelled as he trotted down the steps with the large silver case that was full of prosthetics, which would hopefully provide them with a semi-decent solution to the kid's problem.

"Where was it?"

"Right by that big jar of real legs," the boy replied, causing (y/n) to shiver in Ray's arms at the thought of what the handyman kept in storage. There weren't many rooms that she didn't like going in but that was definitely one of them—real pickled legs were just too freaky for her.

"Why do you have a jar of real legs?" Henry questioned, getting the same sense of freakiness as Ray hugged his fiancée tighter, anything to make her feel better. He wouldn't let her go in that room, he preferred to keep her happy and if need be, he'd suck up his fears and go into the leg room.

"A guy owed me twenty bucks. He paid me in legs," Schwoz answered, proving that he was a bigger weirdo than Henry originally thought and leaving him wishing he hadn't asked. What sort of guys did Schwoz talk to? Were there people out there who were missing legs that were actually in the Man Cave? So many questions...

"And this is the biggest sweater I could find. It was just in a drawer, not near any body parts, thank God." Charlotte moved on and tossed an alarmingly large sweater to Schwoz. It was so large that it could only be one person's and luckily for Henry, it wasn't contaminated by anything human.

"Okay, we give Henry one of these fake arms, then we hide his cast with a sweater from when Ray really loved horses," the genius explained, holding out the freakishly large sweater, patterned with two galloping horses in a desert scene. Honestly, it was a bit hideous, not because the horses were ugly or anything but it was quite gauche, gaudy, maybe even tacky by some people, and (y/n) had never been more thankful for anything that Ray's weird obsession had been nothing more than a phase.

Was it three or four years ago? Maybe five, back when she'd wait up for her best friend and find him coming home all hot and sweaty from his time with the horses because Captain Man loved a challenge and the stallions gave him one. He'd bought horse bed sheets, horse mugs, horse shoes, horse t-shirts, horse sweaters, even a horse alarm clock and he wondered why their friendship had been a little tense for those few, agonisingly long months. Seriously, she thought she was losing her doofus to an animal.

"Oh, yeah, I used to race 'em. They always beat me, though," the man replied, earning himself a few funny looks when he added the second part. Gone was the prestige of being involved in horse racing and in came the judgement of a guy who was so stubborn and boastful that he thought he could run at forty miles per hour.

"Oh, Raymond. You're so adorable sometimes—even if the damn horses drove me insane," (y/n) pinched his cheeks as she would with a cute child, finding him even more irresistible when he squirmed and blushed. He'd had a million phases since that one, ranging from fad diets to train-spotting, and every time, she tolerated and encouraged his hobbies until he moved on to the next.

The important thing was that she remained a constant, a passion he could never shake, not that he'd ever want to; he knew that for all his flaws, his sweet girl was here to stay.

"Okay, I've got a lot of arm options for you but we have to find just the right one. Soooo, fake arm fashion show!" Schwoz exclaimed and began waving two of his fake arms around as Jasper, Ray, (y/n) and Charlotte cheered. Henry looked rather confused as he clapped them underneath his leg because what the hell was happening? Couldn't he just have a look?

Of course not, fashion shows were exciting and they gave his friends a chance to judge his every move as they worked through the case for something excellent. He didn't have much of a choice.

The stage was set. The screen had been erected so Henry could shove the arm into the sweater and he was ready to show off his first choice. The sweater was big and comfy, so that posed no problems. The only concern he had was for how...shit the arm looked as it was pinned to the sleeve. Well, that and how he looked like a true saddo with his little horsies on his chest as it wasn't the most subtle garment, more like a magnet for school bullies.

Apart from that, however, the arm was in place and as long as no one looked too close and he didn't shake the brace that held it to his body too much, it should be fine. Time to show his friends.

The group sat on the couch waiting with bated breath as they sipped on their fancy sodas through curly straws. Jasper, Charlotte and (y/n) were sat on the couch, poised for some serious judging as Schwoz and Ray stood behind them, leaning on the back with the latter resting his chin on the shoulder of the woman in front of him. He couldn't wait to whisper nonsense about the show in her ear and see her shiver but as Henry stepped out, the electricity in the room seemed to fizzle out.

"Hey..."

"That works..."

"Oh, yeah."

"I like it. It's a ten-out-of-ten arm," they ad-libbed, admiring how from a distance (and if they squinted their eyes a bit), the arm looked real. Maybe a bit plastic-y and awkward given the angle it fell from the sleeve but apart from that and the fact that he could pick anything up, it looked great. No improvement was needed, which was a bit of a disappointment since there was no need to carry on now that they'd found the perfect prosthetic.

"Seems good," Henry stated, feeling comfortable with his new-fake arm, even if his cast was getting pretty warm and itchy under the cheap sweater, and he could see the puzzled, disappointed faces of his friends when they realised that the show was over before it began.

"Man, I really thought that would take longer," Charlotte said as she swirled her drink with her straw. What were the odds that the first arm out of the case would be the one they were looking for?

"Me too, but you know, sometimes, the first arm just feels right," Ray replied and with a final peck on his sweet girl's cheek, stood up now that they had nothing to watch, which was a shame given that his opportunity to flirt had gone down the metaphorical toilet.

"Yep, first arm's always right."

"That is what they say."

"Who actually says that?"

"So, once again, this problem is...solved," the hero reiterated, smirking at his youngest sidekick now that they'd found a solution to the problem, meaning he didn't have to worry about it and therefore, he could focus on other things...like whisking (y/n) away to somewhere more private. But, as always, it wasn't that simple, because even though he'd fastened and secured the arm in place as Schwoz had shown him, Henry could feel how clunky and surreal the thing was as it poked him in the ribs.

"Uh, once again, the problem is not solved. I mean, dude, this sweater and fake arm might work for, like, a day but it's not gonna fool people for long. I mean, look at this thing," the kid argued and proved his point by swinging his body to show how the arm didn't naturally follow his movements, it just floundered in the air and stuck out like a sore thumb. Without a doubt, someone at school or in his family was gonna see the latex and realise the truth—what then?

"Try tucking it into your pocket. That way, it won't flap about the place," (y/n) suggested, thinking that if the arm was secured in a natural position, it would look more real. Plus, it would be less likely to get snagged on something, so Henry was inclined to follow her sound advice, that is until Ray decided to make a madness out of it.

"Or, hook your thumb through your belt loop. That's what I do whenever I want to look cool and tough. I mean, one look of me like this and I was engaged to be married," the hero smirked as he stood there with his fingers dangling from his waistband and (y/n) scoffed a laugh at his outrageous joking. Sure, in his dreams; whilst she had to admit that any pose he did was cute, this one wasn't it. He looked awkward and like a doofus, and it wasn't what made her agree to marry him. That was a long list ranging from his floppy hair to his goofy personality; belt loops be damned.

"Keep telling yourself that, Ra—"

"Oh, yeah! Just try this, Henry," Jasper, being the suck-up and bonehead he was, jumped in to back his boss up, believing that the ridiculous pose was something to be proud of, something that made them edgy, something that made them appeal to girls. The boy needed more appeal than the elder, but even he felt epic as he pushed out his pelvis and leaned back with a cocky smirk on his face. He only had one girl to impress but even though she loved the sight of him in that shirt, he looked so silly.

"You look cool, man."

"Yeah, you look cool too. What's up?" They complimented each other as they obnoxiously exaggerated their thumbs poking through the denim, wiggling their hips and flaring their fingers so they looked like idiots. Yeah, Henry wasn't gonna do that, he wanted to attract girls, not scare them off.

"Yeah, I'm not doing that."

"Your loss." Ray shrugged and turned to smirk at his sweet girl, who was shaking her head with a soft smile. He was a dork, but he was her dork, and having him looming over her wasn't so bad. As long as Charlotte was on-hand to stop Henry from doing something idiotic, she could admire him as much as she wanted and long for the minute they were free to go to bed.

"Or...tomorrow morning, at school, we stage a fake accident where Henry can pretend to break his fake arm in front of everyone," the teen girl shared her plan and for once, it was a genuinely sensible one. No craziness, no far-fetched details, nothing that could go wrong and Henry liked the sound of it because whilst he loved some of Ray's insane ideas, sometimes, they were a bit much. After everything that had happened that night, he just wanted to get this problem solved without any more problems.

"Yes! Then, I'll have an excuse for my broken arm and people won't think I'm Kid Danger."

"Exactly! And, we do something simple, like Jasper accidentally closes your fake arm into his locker. Done," Charlotte suggested and it was like music to Henry's ears. He liked the sound of that, no frills, no lace, no fancy, unnecessary bits, just a straightforward accident that could be explained in such a dull way that no one would question it. Perfect.

"Problem actually solved."

"Perfect."

"I like it."

"Good, we don't want any more accidents around here," the group were all in agreement; it was a great plan. Schwoz, Henry, Charlotte, Jasper and (y/n) were ready to get the plan going, meaning the kids would be left to sort it out themselves since it would be highly weird for a happily engaged couple and their oddball handyman to show up at a high school. Extremely weird.

Therefore, it would be best to let them get on with it, after all, fewer people meant fewer complications, which someone should've told Ray.

"Yawn," he added to the end of their happy chittering, meaning they couldn't leave the problem there because he, the boss, the guy in charge, wasn't satisfied, much to (y/n)'s confusion and slight annoyance. What had his panties in a bunch now?

"Uh, what?"

"Doofus, what's up with you?" The sidekicks looked at him with bored expressions as the man sucked up the last of his drink. He had that expression on his face that told his precious girl that he thought that he knew best, which everyone knew was never the case. It was very rare for Ray Manchester to have an intellectual advantage over someone else and it was almost certain that he wasn't thinking with his brain, more like with his ego.

"Oh, I said yawn because that plan puts me to sleep," Ray replied rather arrogantly and (y/n)'s adoring looks turned sour.

"Uh, I'm sorry?" Charlotte, however, hadn't had the years of experience that she had, and hadn't figured out a method for breaking through his pigheadedness, so for her, his abrasive argument was a bit shocking. Almost as if she couldn't believe her ears.

"I mean...it's boring! It'll work, probably great...but where's the funny?" He asked, fingertips touching fingertips in a cocky pose as he looked down at the girl from his high horse, something that didn't sit well with his fiancée. Did he want to get some tonight or was he deliberately trying to be obnoxious? Why did everything have to be funny? It didn't make sense; sometimes, it's better to get the problem over and done with, rather than messing with it until it's even bigger than it was to begin with.

"Raymond, we're not trying to be funny."

"Uh, mission accomplished, sweet girl," he booped her nose, causing her to wrinkle it up in a way that he found adorable, especially when it was paired with her moody pout. He didn't mean to cause any aggro, but he was certain that they could do this a different way, one that result in a school incident that was so hilarious it would go down in the history books. Maybe it was because he never got the chance to be a school prankster, a class clown, or anything school related, perhaps he wanted to live that childhood experience whilst he still could. After all, it's not like the kids would be around forever.

"I got a better, funnier idea."

"Fine, come on, then. Let's hear your big idea, doofus," (y/n) sighed and crossed her arms, looking at him tiredly through her lashes. She could predict what was about to come out of his mouth; bold, outlandish, stupid, possibly dangerous, ridiculous. Definitely ridiculous. She loved him, but by god, she wanted to tie him up and gag his dumb mouth before he said or did something they'd all regret.

"Still got that trebuchet?" The hero didn't reply to her, rather, he turned to Schwoz and that mischievous smirk grew on his face. The mention of the medieval invention caused them both to sneak and chuckle with planned wickedness because for those who knew what a trebuchet was, AKA (y/n), that sounded worrying.

The kids didn't want to know what those two used to get up to with that thing, how many times they'd nearly been caught by the cops for flinging watermelons where they didn't belong, and how it was only because the Man Cave was a hidden location that they'd managed to wait until the heat died down. It all came to a head when she had to put her foot down after an incident with a smashed window and a furious business owner, so from then on, the trebuchet was tucked away into storage, unused but still ready for another adventure. Yippee.

"No, don't you dare, Ray Manchester! You know how I feel about that damn trebuchet! We're not doing the trebuchet," the woman said firmly, pointing a very stern finger at her lover who didn't seem all that scared, not in the way the kids had previously seen him scared during one of their arguments.

This was more like a mother admonishing her child into scaring them away from danger, but it was clear that the child was gonna do it anyway, curiosity killed the cat and all that. No, Ray didn't look phased at all and to her frustration, he merely stepped forward, looked deeply into her eyes and when she thought that the soft kiss they shared was his version of an apology, he went and ruined it. And it was such a gentle kiss too, almost perfect had it not been for him pulling away just when she was turning into goo.

"We're doin' the trebuchet...come on, sweet girl...don't look at me like that, sweetheart, " he nodded at Schwoz, making his sweet girl gasp in outrage because he tricked her, the sneaky little—he tricked her! He got her defences down and her argument thrown out by using her need for peppermint-bubblegum against her, which was highly unfair but very effective as it meant that she was dazed just long enough to tell his repairman that they were going storage-diving. Or trash-diving; most of the stuff in storage was absolute garbage.

"What's a trebuchet? Where are they going? Jasper, will you please stop playing with my fake arm?!" So many questions, so little time for poor Henry, whose mood had deflated when this mystery item had been introduced. He'd not done early history in school, otherwise, he might have heard of one, but despite his lack of knowledge, he still got the feeling that whatever a trebby thing was, it wasn't good. This was one of Ray's weird plans that wasn't gonna work, wasn't it?

"We'll handle it. You don't have to worry about anything," Ray tried to soothe his sidekick as he kept (y/n) tied to him with his fingers tight around her hand. He'd need her help to find the trebuchet since she was the one who'd locked it away and so, he was already working on a plan to sway her into doing so, possibly with a bribe, more likely with seduction. He was good at that and he was also good at pissing her off, which was starting to work too, judging by the raised eyebrows and sceptical looks she kept giving him. His plan for her better be good.

"That makes me worry about everything."

"Me too," Charlotte agreed with her friend. She didn't like how cocky her boss was being or how he was dragging (y/n) off for some unknown search and rescue mission or how a trebuchet could be involved. She had a vague idea of what one was since she was a well-read smarty and it gave her the chills. They were big, clunky and not very practical, given how they weren't particularly good when they were first used. What more could Ray want?

"All you gotta do is meet me, (y/n) and Schwoz at school tomorrow morning and we'll trebu-show you a fake accident that's way funnier than Charlotte's," the large man bragged, earning him an eye roll from not just Charlotte, but (y/n) too. Why did she have to be dragged away from her cosy home during the little free time she got? Oh, right, she had to play babysitter to her dumb lover who'd rather prove a point than spend the day watching movies or going shopping with her.

"Oh, yeah, showing up at a kid's school to wreak havoc, just what every normal couple does," she remarked and looked up at her doofus, who for a split second, seemed to be slight sheepish at her observation, almost like the thought of the alternative spending the day at home crossed his mind before the smirk returned. Any time spent with his fiancée was time well spent, so Ray wasn't that bothered, more like planning how tomorrow was gonna unfold.

"All right, whatever. I'm tired, I'm going home."

"Yeah, I'm out like Jasper's belly button."

"Way out," the kids announced, having had enough craziness for one day and by all accounts, they'd be needing their strength for tomorrow so a good night's sleep was in order. They'd leave Ray and Schwoz's to plan for their big plan, hopefully (y/n) wouldn't kill them and by the time that had all been sorted out, they'd thankfully be well clear of whatever the couple was gonna do before finally going to sleep. They wanted to avoid that like the Black Death, so a speedy exit was necessary.

"Henry!" Schwoz suddenly shouted as the kid waited for the elevator. He turned to see the genius looking frantic whilst Ray was oblivious since he was already making a move on (y/n), whispering in her ear and causing her cheeks to heat up. What did Schwoz need that meant he couldn't get out of their love nest? The sooner he left, the better; he still had some innocence left, y'know.

"Don't let your parents see your cast when you get back home."

"I won't," the boy replied and hit the button with his fake, flailing arm. Did the guy think he was an idiot? His mom would freak if she saw what he'd done to his arm, let alone know what he'd been up to since she and his dad always watched the news.

"Because then, they'll know that you're Kid Danger!"

"Yeah, I realise that." His concern was nice, y'know, it was good that someone cared but it really wasn't necessary. Henry was a smart kid and he knew how to keep the secret from his family. Lord knows he'd had enough practice over the last few years.

"Then, we'd have to wipe their memories again."

"Yeah, I said I realised tha—wait, again?!" Honestly, Henry wanted to get home quick since things were getting too spicy for him in the Man Cave and he was willing to say anything to get Schwoz to shut up, but then, the last detail of his sentence caught his attention. Hang on, did that mean his family had discovered something before? Should he be worried about them?

"I dunno..." Schwoz's lips were sealed on the promise of Ray beating him up should he squeal any details. What was in the past should stay in the past and that was one story that Henry could never be told, even if it was about his parents, sister and whoever else. So, to take his mind off of it before he was in a sticky situation, Ray stepped in with a little something he'd pulled from a drawer, hoping to make everyone, especially his sweet girl laugh. He loved her laugh.

"Hey, Jasper! Catch!" He yelled to the odd boy and tossed a toilet roll across the room, into the elevator and the boy's hands. What was he—? Oh, god, no more teasing, the poor kid didn't understand the joke until he walked right into it.

"What's this for?"

"In case you pass a playground on your way home," Ray grinned, his banter drawing several chuckles from around the room and to his joy, he felt his darling girl press her face into his pec to save Jasper's blushes.

She hated laughing at people, even if it was only teasing but it was quite amusing to see Jasper's ears turn pink. She knew it wasn't him but winding him up was so fun and her doofus did it so well, always keeping it light and jovial, never malicious, so despite her frustration, her arms wound their way around his waist and she gazed at him with happiness in her eyes. He was a doofus but he was her doofus.

"I'm not the Playground Pooper!" Jasper shouted in his defence, which didn't help much since agitation is a sign of being guilty, so Ray wasn't convinced, especially when Jasper failed to give the roll back. "But I am keeping this 'cause I think we're out at home!"

The three were left giggling and joking as the elevator door closed on the couple metres of tissue, which son disappeared when it was pulled upwards. He was never gonna live this down, Ray would never let him go, or he would, but only if something funnier came along. Maybe he'd appeal directly to (y/n) and get her to have a word with him because it was common knowledge that if you wanted to talk with the boss, you went to her - the true heart of the Man Cave.

~The next day, Swellview High School~

Things were buzzing in the corridors of Swellview High as kids rushed to get to classes they were late for or to their group of friends to swap the latest gossip. Of course, there were the usual topics; who was dating who, which teacher was on the verge of being sacked, had Captain Man really been caught making out with Miss Danger in an alley behind the Nacho Ball on Fifth Street, some were more exaggerated than others but the thing on everyone's lips was obvious, more popular than anything else. Kid Danger.

No one knew when the mystery boy was going to turn up, so everyone was on the lookout for a kid who fit the bill, which wasn't too hard. Some had even placed bets on who they thought it could be, some pretended that they didn't even care when they were more desperate than anyone else and others were just hoping to get lucky. Every girl wanted to date Kid Danger, so they all thought they'd know him when they saw him, not discounting Piper Hart.

She didn't even go to that school, being too young, and yet there she was, bright and early, skiving from her real lessons for a glimpse at the sidekick and his telltale broken arm. Piper had a system; vet every boy who came in, check for any suspicious injuries and ask him to be her boyfriend until the end of time. Because that wouldn't be creepy at all.

"We are so getting put on some kind of list. Y'know, the kind for weirdos who sneak into schools."

Not as creepy as what was being set up in the hall, though. It was another topic of conversation amongst the students; what the hell was that monstrosity in front of the doors and why were three freaks messing with it? No guesses for who the three freaks were.

Ray and Schwoz were perfectly calm as they adjusted the twine on the trebuchet, making sure everything was gonna be ready for their big performance. It had taken some sneakiness to get it into the school and no short amount of lying for any suspicious teachers who wanted to know why two medieval squires and one noble lady were shoving bits of old wood and ropes into their school.

(y/n) felt uneasy, like her tummy was telling her something again, but no matter how much she scolded her doofus about his dumbness or reasoned that it wasn't on late to go home yet, he patted her on the head and spoke to her in a stupidly formal accent.

"Worry not, fair maiden. Watcheth thy lover as his trebuchet makes the melon-eth fly through the air...eth," Ray replied, giving her a gentle side smile as he placed a heavy yet small melon onto a wooden panel, ready to be flung. He was trying his best to fit the part, ensuring that his voice matched his ridiculous dress-up of baggy blue breeches, tunic embroidered with silver studs, knee-high brown leather boots and soufflé-like hat, complete with a yellow feather.

Schwoz didn't look much better; his outfit looked like some cavalier reject, straight from the English Civil War what with his natty wig and red velvet ensemble, and now that she thought about it, (y/n) didn't fancy her outfit much either.

She kept tripping up on her skirts, had spent way too long on her hair, and was almost certain that she'd done up the corset wrong since Ray had been trying to trail kisses down her neck when he came up from behind after seeing her struggle for so long. It was a wonder she'd even managed to get dressed after finding him still insatiable that morning but after beating him off with a metaphorical stick, she'd pulled on her gloves, fallen over her own feet a million times and found herself in Henry's school, smiling at the children like a regal queen. If only.

They all looked odd and the woman hadn't felt this vulnerable to school bullies since she'd had her braces put on in middle school but for now, they were staying away, possibly because of the hulking giant of a man who kept pecking her cheek. The same giant who failed to realise that speaking like a twelfth-century noble did not mean adding fancy inflexions after every word or using archaic words.

Any minute now, someone would recognise them as the wacko couple who ran that junk store down the road or even worse, Piper would pay attention and realise that her friend was a weirdo getting married to another weirdo.

"I'll make you fly through the air, Ray. I'll kick your butt!" She snapped, prodding him in the pec as Henry and Charlotte approached with disgusted looks on their faces. It was impossible to miss the trebuchet and the not-so-subtle flirting, particularly when Ray looked up from his mischief to stop her worrying little head yet again. This was a school, he had to keep his hands to himself, but that didn't mean he couldn't fawn over her.

"Babe, this plan is perfect...and funny! Stop worrying about it and just stand there looking all pretty. Like you usually do," the hero smirked, squishing her flaming cheeks as she tried to be stern only for him to flirt his way past her defences. She was trying to be mad at him and failing miserably because whilst the dress wasn't her style, he loved her in it—well, he loved her in anything.

"Flattery will get you nowhere!"

"It got me somewhere last night. Remember?" Ray was lightning fast with his remark, watching as her jaw hit the ground because he was exactly right, not that she wanted to show him that.

It was obvious, however, and the man saw straight through the way she tried to stop her eyes from widening and her lip from quivering, only to fail miserably. He made an excellent point; not ten hours earlier, he broke past her grumpy façade when they were digging through old weapons and gadgets and used his charm to leave Schwoz to find the trebuchet and drag her to a more private setting.

"You—you—that's the last time we...y'know! I swear! No more for you! Ever!" The woman spluttered waggling her finger under his nose as she flustered from his observation. It was an empty threat, a lose-lose situation that neither of them ever wanted, so the hero didn't falter, rather, his smirk deepened.

"Sure it is, sweet girl. Just wait until tonight when you're begging me—"

"Oh my god, what are they talking about?"

"And what are they doing?" The banter was interrupted by the familiar voices of two disgruntled teens as they approached the medieval display and instantly, the couple clammed up on discussing their nightly activities. This was a school, after all, and those were their wards. They sounded confused and disgusted, which caused (y/n) to yet again squirm in embarrassment since she had no idea how close they were, but in all seriousness, she had to agree that the costumes and act were nothing short of humiliating.

"Tis ready!"

"Forsooth!"

"Fire thy trebuchet, dearheart, and Godspeed!—or something to that effect..." the "actors" proclaimed for all to hear and as Ray took up his fair lady's hand and planted a respectful kiss on her knuckles, the trebuchet fired the watermelon, flinging it across the hall until it splattered against a poster a few metres away. It was quite impressive, judging by the awed reactions of the round of applause from the teenage crowd, who now knew what a trebuchet was. A catapult thing, not what you'd normally expect a thirty-seven-year-old man to keep in his home but whatever.

"Oh, good morrow, fair youth!" Ray exclaimed as he noticed Henry standing near his brilliant device and without breaking his persona, approached him in a bouncy if ridiculous manner that probably would've ended up in him losing his head had he done it in a real ancient court.

He needed to see his reaction because his plan was amazing and there was no doubt that the kid was speechless from his performance. Of course, he didn't want to make it known that he was Henry's boss, that dude from Junk-N-Stuff, but still, he couldn't help but wrap an arm around his shoulders and pull him to the side as (y/n) and Schwoz soaked up the praise.

"Good morrow to yo—I can't do this, dude. What's going on?" Henry asked in exasperation, not even bothering to copy his boss's fancy words because he wasn't some dick from the Middle Ages, he was a kid from the modern era. All he wanted to know was why he was on the verge of being heavily embarrassed.

"Okay, here's the plan," the man hissed, drawing a few glances from (y/n) and Charlotte as the girl teased her friend over her beautiful yet impractical getup.

"You go stand by the stairs. We fling a basketball at you. It hits you in your fake arm and you pretend like it's broken! It'll be a lot funnier than Charlotte's idea!"

"Okay, but what if the basketball doesn't hit me—"

"And break!" Henry didn't have time to share any concerns or bring up any issues that might have been tied to the plan because Ray didn't want to hear it, so he pushed the kid back into the crowd. He couldn't complain in front of his peers, he couldn't even acknowledge that he knew these weirdos, so he walked over to his spot and prepared himself for the basketball.

"We are members of the Swellview Flinging Society!"

"Forsooth!" Ray introduced himself and his band of merry men—woman—weirdo and woman—whatever. They even did a strange dance pose, arms curled in the air as their toes pointed and (y/n) could already hear sniggers of "losers" coming from the crowd. She'd left school a long time ago, being back and bullied in her thirties wasn't how she'd pictured her life going.

"We doth fling many things with our trebuchet!"

"Tis the truth, my young friends. Now, behold with thine eyes that hath seen fewer winters than mine and see for yourself, the art of an age gone by!" But, she humoured her doofus nonetheless and played into her part, flourishing and smiling at the crowd as if she was some queen from a long forgotten time, using words she'd only ever read in Shakespeare, in an outfit that should've been in a museum.

Ray and Schwoz moved to set up the trebuchet, cranking back the arm into flinging position, which left hosting duties to her, and as they did, Jasper barrelled past them, heading for Henry and Charlotte. What was he in a hurry for?

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! You guys, check it out!"

"Hey, Pooper."

"What's poopening?" His friends greeted him, causing his mouth to set into a straight, firm line. That joke wasn't funny yesterday and nothing had changed overnight, except that he now had material to back himself up against these heinous lies. The only way he could get everyone to see that he didn't use playgrounds as toilets was if he proved that he couldn't have done the deed or have even been there. Proof was irrefutable.

"I know who the Playground Pooper is."

"So do we."

"Yeah, it's you," Charlotte and Henry couldn't help but mock him a little, ensuring that their faces showed no hint of humour or that they were joking. He was used to it and at the end of the day, the teasing was harmless and all in good fun.

"No, it's not! I go in toilets, I've been potty trained for four years!" Jasper told them sternly, trying to stress that he was a big boy, a seventeen-year-old very capable of going in appropriate places. But then, when Charlotte thought about his words, something didn't add up. Seventeen minus four...oh, god.

"Wait..." It didn't bear thinking about for Charlotte. She'd known Jasper since...forever, did that mean he'd...when she was with him?

"Just look at this..." the boy didn't dwell on that disturbing fact for long and instead, directed his friends' attention to the PearPad he took from his backpack, on which he'd pulled up a video that had been uploaded to SplashFace. Something about someone being spotted somewhere in Swellview Park. What significance did that have?

"This is the Playground Pooper walking through some carnations and I'm allergic to carnations, so it can't be me!"

"Those look like roses."

"What?!" Charlotte shot down his hopes in one fell swoop. She was no flower expert but she knew what a carnation was and even though the video quality wasn't good, she could see that the petals weren't crinkled in the right way. And Jasper couldn't believe it, he could swear that those buds were the ones that brought him out in sneezes and a rash, but according to Henry, those were something different entirely.

"Yeah, those are North American Sugar roses, bro. I know my flowers," Henry told him, divulging a surprising fact about himself since, in most teenage boy circles, flowers weren't the "in thing". Who wants to spend a few weeks looking at different blooms surrounded by pretty, soft girls? Oh, right, that's why he went.

"He does, he went to flower camp."

"Yeah, dude, it was sick."

"No!" Jasper stormed off in a mood, having had enough of talk about flowers, namely because he'd been disproven. That had been his big plan, that the plants would provide him with an alibi but he hadn't counted on Henry being such an expert. Now he had to come up with something else, but he was flat out of ideas and back to square one. His friends were so nice.

"Hear ye, hear ye! The flinging is about to commenceth!" Ray suddenly announced, drawing everyone's focus back to the trebuchet now that it had been reset into its original position. Show time; his big plan was ready if only those involved could assume their given positions.

"Everyone should stand where they're supposed to stand..."

"Gotta go..." Henry took that as his unsubtle hint to go and stand where the melon had splattered across the floor and wall. Charlotte had a bad feeling about this and if she had one, then (y/n) had one, but all they could do was shared a worried shrug since there was no stopping this farce now.

"My dear younglings, be-ith most careful, for when yon basketball be shot, it traveleth so fast, that it mayeth break someone's arm. I would hate to see such sorrow before the midday sun," (y/n) added, wanting to make sure that no one but Henry stood near the trebuchet because that would mean an instant phone call to the police, them having to explain themselves to an officer and their problem still very much prominent.

And it was about to get even bigger because as the children broke out into applause again, a wandering green booger walked her way into the corridor, eyeing the performers with suspicion written on her face.

"Hold it right there, fancy pants!" Sharona Shapen snapped above the noise and the room fell into a silence, including one kid with some particularly snazzy trousers on. Poor guy, he was just trying to get to class in his best outfit, it was only a coincidence that other people had come into the building rivalling his fabulousness. He needed to be sent on his way.

"Not you, L'Orange! What the heck is going on here?" The teacher demanded to know and even if she was weird and even if her dress sense was hideous and even if she'd been known to love on Captain Man, she had a right to ask that. They'd turned up to the school with no warning or permission, which was concerning now that they thought about it and (y/n) just prayed that she didn't see through their disguises.

"We be the Swellview Flinging Society!"

"We are flingers!"

"We fling, patron of the arts!" The three lied, doing their little fancy greeting before (y/n) slipped her hand into Ray's. It might have ruined the image a bit but she needed something to ground her right now, otherwise, she was in danger of fainting from the stress. Sharona was looking at them with an evil stare and she did not look happy. Maybe she and Ray could swap love letters when they were each carted off to separate prisons.

"Well, go do your flinging somewhere else! These kids should be in classrooms pretending to listen to their teachers!" She hissed, making an excellent point to the startled trio, who was shuffling on their feet to think of a way to buy her silence.

Once upon a time, a year or two ago, Ray had kissed her as a distraction, but that was out of the question now. One kiss had nearly killed him since he'd swore to never kiss any lips other than those that tasted like honey and (y/n) had only agreed because that had been an emergency. No, that wasn't gonna work on Sharona this time, so Ray offered the one thing he could.

"Look, you wanna fling a basketball at a wall?" It was carnal, brutish, and entirely uncivilised but that was the weird teacher all over and part of the fun. It was the best offer she'd had in months, especially from someone so handsome.

"'Course I do, get outta my way," she quickly agreed, the temptation too much regardless of her earlier concerns about safety and the students' education. When it came down to it, Miss Shapen was entirely selfish and eager to see the trebuchet in action, although first, Schwoz needed to show her what to do so she hit Henry as per the plan.

"Allow me to explaineth—"

"Relax, Leonardo. I've used a trebuchet in a school before," she spoke over him, however, meaning Schwoz wasn't able to get in there and aim the catapult in the direction they need it to be. Glossing over the oddness of her being so reckless in another situation, (y/n) looked at her lover with wide eyes and realised that things were about to go wrong and all because one woman couldn't listen.

"Favoured artisan, bearer of knowledge, orchestrator of tomorrow's wisdom...put the forsaken trebuchet down and leteth my companions aim—"

"Fire in the hall!" Any of the heroine's pleas were useless; Sharona released the catch before anyone could turn the arm, so the basketball was fired at maximum power and in completely the wrong direction. Straight into Charlotte's head. Ouch.

The poor girl squealed and fell to the floor, not gravely injured, thank God, but she still had the mother of all heads and undoubtedly, she'd wake up with a lump tomorrow. The crowd gasped at the horrific collision and no one was more horrified than her nearest and dearest, who looked at the teacher with wide eyes for what she had done.

"I was never here!" Miss Shapen shouted to her students, even though it was pretty useless since she stuck out like a green thumb and every one of them would be happy to rat her out if it meant less homework. And, as much as they wanted to strangle her for what she'd done without letting them help first, Ray, Schwoz and (y/n) had to let the teacher scurry off as Henry helped Charlotte up because it wasn't their place as visiting actors to scold a teacher for the injury caused to a girl they weren't supposed to know.

"Are you okay?" Henry asked breathlessly as he leaned over Charlotte, hoping that she didn't have a concussion, but clearly, things were so hot for Charlotte, who couldn't see for the flashing lights in her eyes and the spinning room. She could see five Henrys in her head and because of her confusion, she didn't register the mistake she made in grabbing his fake arm, believing that it was real and stretched out to help her up.

"No, no, no, no!" Too late. Henry couldn't do anything as his friend tumbled back to the ground, his false arm in her hand as Charlotte pulled it from his sleeve, much to the shock of his friends and fellow students. If that didn't look suspicious, then nothing did because, now, there was a kid in the hall who'd either just suffered and gruesome yet impossible injury or he had something to hide.

"Oh, shit..." (y/n) breathed out as Henry's world came crashing down and now, she needed Ray's entire arm to ground herself as they watched helplessly with stony faces. The hero's heart was in his mouth as he watched his youngest sidekick flounder, knowing that the worst scenario possible was now happening and he was helpless to intervene as the kid did the only thing he could think of.

"Ahhhh! Charlotte just pulled off my real arm! Next time you see me, I'll probably have a cast," he attempted to make the best of the situation, throwing in some lame excuse that his arm had magically dropped off with no blood spillages and that he'd be okay. Yeah, there was nothing weird at all about just sticking a cast on an amputated arm, that was how science worked. However, when one kid, known for being highly snotty and annoying, picked up his rubber limb from the floor, it was all over, no more playing around.

"This arm is fake! This is a fake arm!" He told the crowd, who immediately began whispering and chuntering amongst themselves about what that could mean for the boy who was nice to all, fairly popular, rather good-looking but sometimes mysteriously absent from his classes. Piper, who'd seen everything from her place scanning boys at the door, walked over to her brother, intent on finding the truth, even if he looked terrified at that moment.

"Why were you wearing a fake arm?" She demanded to know but when Henry tried to string together an excuse, she didn't let him finish. It was too late for excuses, Henry was way out of his depth. "What are you hiding?"

"Piper, I'm not doing anyth—"

"Take this off! What is wrong with you?!—" his sister exclaimed, not knowing that the big deal was about the ugly sweater that her brother had refused to take off since last night. Fighting his squirming body, she grasped the hood and tugged it over his head and Henry was powerless to stop her with merely one hand and so, the horse-themed garment was removed, revealing his blue cast underneath. And how telling it was to the boys and girls watching.

"You've got a broken arm!" Piper exclaimed with horror and shock written all over her face as she took in the sight in front of her.

There stood a boy about Kid Danger's height, about Kid Danger's age with a broken arm and before her eyes, everything fell into place, not that she could make sense of anything. There was only one explanation and Henry didn't know what to do. He couldn't look at Ray or (y/n), he didn't want to see their angry or disappointed faces, he couldn't look at Schwoz, Jasper or Charlotte either since he didn't want to implicate them. This was officially a disaster. So much for Ray's big plan.

"Oh my god, Henry Hart is Kid Danger!" The annoying kid realised, sending everyone into a shocked, noisy kerfuffle as everyone turned to their friends to gossip.

Ray and (y/n) could try to discourage as much as they wanted, telling the kids that they knew very little about being superheroes but that didn't sound very likely, yet nothing could convince them otherwise.

Girls were already planning their dates, boys were already planning to be his best friend and others were in awe of the scrawny, average kid who'd never been particularly good at anything, just another face around school. Who'd have thought that he was a superhero's sidekick? Not Piper, that's for sure.

"So much better than my plan," Charlotte said to Ray with a glare that could kill as she nursed her sore head and on a rare occasion in his life, Ray looked remorseful, guilty even. He had to admit that something else may have been easier and that perhaps in this situation, getting the issue over and done with would've been easier, nothing funny about it.

"We need a way to fix this, now. You know what kids are like! One text or TwitFlash update and we are finished, Ray. No more Captain Man, no more Miss Danger, no more anything!" (y/n) stressed to her fiancé, who didn't need telling to know that they had to do something and fast.

"Calm down, sweet girl. We'll think of something, I promise. Nothing's—gonna—happen," he reassured her, pressing firm kisses to her forehead with each word to try and make her feel better but as her fingers curled against his chest, she could feel his heartbeat jumping through the velvet blue.

Maybe he was trying to convince himself as well as her that everything would be okay, but it wasn't helping given the fact that they could hear Piper stressing behind them. She sounded distraught at the deceit and that just made her want to cry into his shoulder even more, more so when the annoying kid started poking the bear again.

"Why were hiding your broken arm? We have a right to know!" He stated, prodding Henry with the squashy fingers of the rubber arm, tapping the cast in a way that made the blond-haired boy want to claw his eyes out, though he settled for just slapping the thing away. Getting irate wouldn't help anything, rather, it was a sign of a guilty conscience.

"Listen, everybody, listen! Stop poking me! I'm not—I'm not Kid Danger, okay? Okay, stop poking me! Stop poking me, Melvin!" He shouted above the noise, attempting to control the crowd and stop their whispering and gossiping, but the stress, the worry and the annoyance of constantly being prodded soon became too much for him.

As his last nerve broke, Henry grabbed the fake arm and harshly used it to slap the annoying kid, also known as Melvin, across the face, feeling satisfied as the rubber belted his skin and left it red. It was a bit cruel but he deserved it, even if the crowd did gasp in surprise. He was so irritating, there was no surprise that he broke the kid's patience.

"Okay, I have the arm! I get to speak now!" Henry declared as he held the arm in his free hand, which was a gauntlet for who was allowed to talk and one kid took it quite seriously. "Thank you. Now, as I was saying, I'm not Kid Danger—"

"Prove it!" Melvin yelled, having gotten over his assault to be as annoying as ever. It was reasonable though, if Henry wanted to save his skin, then he was gonna have to give them a damn good excuse, no matter what it cost him.

"I will prove it, Melvin! As soon as I...think of something," he argued, trying to seem cool and composed when he had no idea what they were gonna do or how they were gonna get out of this one.

He looked at Ray and (y/n) since they were the adults in this situation, they were meant to be in control and responsible, not to mention that the latter was smart. However, they looked just as clueless as he did, pale and nervous too, so it took someone unforeseeable to swoop in and save his bacon, someone who never normally saved the day.

"Come with me to the janitor's closet!" Jasper murmured in his ear as he snuck past, which didn't sound perturbing at all for Henry, who didn't fancy a secret rendezvous with his best friend in the dark but he was already gone and pushing through the line of people who were staring at the two. It didn't look like he had much choice.

"I will be back with answers...until then...Melvin has the arm," he announced and tossed the limb at the boy, who could now run his mouth off to his heart's content since he wouldn't be around to get annoyed. He seemed quite content to be in charge, but the sight of Henry scuttling off into the closet was rather peculiar for Charlotte, (y/n), Ray and Schwoz.

"What do you think they're up to?" The woman whispered to her doofus as they observed Charlotte scrambling after those idiots just as quickly as they had. Ray peered around the corner with squinted eyes, looking through the chattering students to see where they went and he decided that whatever was going down, they were gonna be a part of it.

"I don't know, darlin', but we're gonna find out," he replied, squeezing her hand once before pulling her across the hall, assuming that Schwoz was following behind them. He was Captain Man, this was his life, his work, his legacy and he wasn't going to watch it go down in flames; he wanted to know what they were planning, mainly because this was his fault, not that he'd ever admit that.

Storming across the room, Ray dodged the many children in his way and ignored the strange looks they got as they headed for the janitor's closet. No one questioned why the performers were wanting to speak with the newly discovered Kid Danger, so they were free to rip open the door, tumble in as a whirlwind of sparkly, studded velvet and wine red skirts, and see the three of them stood there.

Henry and Charlotte had crowded around Jasper's PearPad again, watching some video on some website that (y/n) remembered from her youth. What party had they just crashed?

"You got a big problem on your hands," was the first thing Ray said as he pulled his lover in front of him so she was in on the conversation and then shut the door behind him for a little privacy.

That statement earned him a few glares because whilst it was technically true, Henry did have a big problem, it was more accurate that they all had a big problem. After all, it affected every one of them, did he not realise that he could be found out too if someone connected the dots? Henry Hart's boss from Junk-N-Stuff was Captain Man? The similarities were obvious when you thought about them.

"No, Raymond, we have a big problem. We."

"I know that, thank you," Henry, although thankful for her correction, stated dryly after (y/n). He didn't mean to sound rude but he was under enough pressure as it was, an argument wasn't needed, just a solution.

"Guys, listen!" Jasper suddenly snapped, having been trying for the past couple of minutes to get his friends to listen to his idea but no one was taking him seriously. This was a real, decent plan that wasn't short of delicious humiliation but would be highly effective if only he could say it without any more interruptions.

"What if Henry was the Playground Pooper?" Oh, yeah, he was going there.

"That's impossible. It's you," Ray countered, not letting his joke/belief that his weirdest employee was behind the dumpings. He sounded genuinely conflicted, much to Jasper's annoyance because he was trying to do something here and all he was getting was a finger pointed at him as the culprit.

"No, it's not!" He yelped, raising his volume in an attempt to get through to them, which predictably didn't work. But, they never got the chance to break out into a full debate because incredibly, miraculously, impossibly, Schwoz suddenly jumped out from the blue trash can stored in the closet, which was an unfeasible action because there was no way he could've climbed in without them seeing, so his appearance gave them all quite a scare.

"Schwoz Schwartz, you maniac! How did you get in there?!" (y/n) asked indignantly as she clutched her chest like the teens and felt Ray go loose again after he tensed up at possible danger. His arms had circled her from a protective instinct and she'd leaned back after the fright, meaning they were closely snuggled more than they had already been, thanks to Schwoz, not that they'd ever credit for giving them a reason to be pressed against each other.

"Wasn't easy," the genius bragged, looking smug at how he'd managed to spook them all, although he did fear the way Ray was glaring at him, probably because he made his fiancée with a nervous disposition jump. And yet he had a good reason for doing so.

"I have an idea that will solve all of Henry's problems." Well, that sounded ideal.

"So do I!"

"Clog it, Pooper! What you got, Schwoz?" And no matter how much he argued, Ray would take one of Schwoz's crazy yet awesome plans any day over Jasper's pathetic nonsense, so he had to button his lip, despite his need to share his thoughts becoming almost unbearable. Couldn't they listen to him just once? His plan was great...

"We set off a memory wave and everyone with a three-block radius has no memory of any of it...or anything else in their lives!" He suggested, describing a plan that was insane and cruel but when they thought about it, Henry and Charlotte could see the advantages. There would be a lot of eyebrows raised from how a school of trained teachers and bright students went from functioning normally to being full of brain-dead zombies. But at the end of the day, it would solve the problem, even if it wasn't very ethical.

"I mean...maybe."

"It is simple."

"Guys!"

"Yeah, but what's funny about it? Like when am I going haha?" (y/n) was understandably upset with the suggestion, being of an affectionate nature, but Ray saw something else. Despite everything, he was still trying to find the funny side of everything, looking for humour in the plan when all it needed was to be effective. That earned him a glare from his sweet girl and yet Jasper saw an opportunity because whilst his wasn't as tech-heavy as that, it would draw a few laughs.

"Ray, I love you with everything I have but do shut up!"

"Guys! I have a solution and it's really funny!" The boy exclaimed over the debate and for once, his friends fell silent and listened. He said it was funny, so Ray would be satisfied. He said it was a solution, so Henry's problems would be solved. Interesting. If it was so great, he'd just have to prove it. Time for Jasper to put his money where his mouth was.

Jasper's plan was in motion. As promised, and with a little encouragement from his fiancée, Ray had worked with Schwoz to move the trebuchet out of the school to give the crowd enough space to gather (because no one cared about any actual learning) and they were patiently waiting against the wall.

They had an observatory role with Charlotte, where they got to sit back, relax and laugh at what was about to unfold and whilst the hero was a little salty considering that he didn't have a starring role, the promise of kissing and flirting with his sweet girl in the mean time sealed the deal.

Now, Jasper was taking centre stage with his best mate, Henry, both of them standing before the audience of their fellow students and Piper, all of whom were waiting with bated breath and crossed arms to hear their great explanation. It would take some doing; convincing them otherwise and getting them to back off from Henry's private life but Jasper would do it, by god he would do it because he was buzzing about what his friend was about to confess to.

"Okay! There's been a lot of speculation today that Henry is Kid Danger!" He shouted, addressing the crowd, who didn't agree with mere "speculation". Screw speculation, they had proof that he was genuinely the sidekick, an opinion they weren't quiet about.

"He is!"

"He's not! But he does have something he wants to announce," the boy swiftly shot down any objections, affirming that Henry was not who he was because if he kept saying it, they'd start to believe it, especially when the deliciously humiliating excuse was added.

"I don't know if I can—"

"Henry Hart, everyone!" There was no time for Henry to back out now, no matter how fast his heart was beating at the thought of the social suicide he was about to commit as a few awkward claps sounded. This would ruin him, everyone would laugh behind his back, his sister would never acknowledge him again, hell, his parents might even disown him because this was gonna bring nothing but shame, shame, shame.

However, for the sake of his job, the safety of his friends, his boss, the woman who was like a sister to him, and the safety of the entire city, he was gonna do it. He was going to swallow every shred of his pride and confess a lie to save everything.

"Thank you!" Henry smiled politely at those who bothered to clap for him, only to be taken by surprise when some kid dragged over Piper's podium from when she was checking boys for broken arms, and it could only get worse from there.

"Oh, right, my sister's podium, glad that's here. And a microphone! Thank you, L'Orange! And a sign language interpreter, great."

"Okay, uh, I know there's a lot of speculation that due to my broken arm, I am Kid Danger," Henry started, settling into his speaking role and forcing his voice to remain as steady as possible, despite how nervous he was feeling. And for some, even the mention of that fact, the mere possibility that he could be a superhero's sidekick, beloved by all teen girls in the city looking for love, was just too unsettling. Piper. Piper was unsettled, judging by the long, loud, involuntary scream she let out before shutting her mouth again.

"But the fact of the matter is I'm not Kid Danger because..." Henry, with the sign language boy behind him following his every word, struggled to say the lie. He couldn't do it, could he? This was the most humiliating thing he'd ever done and even when Jasper put a comforting hand on his shoulder, he couldn't help but start to stutter.

"I am...well...I am the Playground Pooper."

There. He said it. It was out there and resulting in shocked gasps and tittering giggles across the hall, most of them coming from behind him where Ray and Schwoz's shoulders were shaking with (y/n) and Charlotte also biting back smiles.

To be fair, it was a horrible thing to confess to in front of all of his schoolmates and at such a young age, the kind of incident that only happened in a nightmare but it was also the kind of thing that could be funny if it wasn't happening to you. His friends weren't affected, so they didn't feel the stigma or have flaming cheeks as he did, just the humour of the situation as people realised the implications of such a confession.

"So, you're Kid Danger and the Playground Pooper?" Melvin asked, not understanding what Henry was saying since technically, he hadn't proven that being a pooper in playgrounds meant he couldn't be a sidekick; he'd just said something highly embarrassing.

"What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no....no. I'm just...the Playground Pooper." Kill him, unalive him now, and end his misery because explaining himself was torture.

"Okay, this is funny," Ray whispered in his sweet girl's ear, loud enough for Jasper and Charlotte to hear too and agree, but quiet enough to not raise suspicion. And despite her morals and kindness, (y/n) was inclined to agree with him because whilst she wasn't one for bullying, this was hilarious, seeing how Henry admitted to something so gross.

It wasn't like it would scar him, he wasn't the Playground Pooper, so there were no worries, which meant she could lean back into her doofus and let his chin rest on her shoulder—perhaps allow him a few neck kisses, even if he had been an idiot with the trebuchet.

"Prove it! Prove it! Prove it! Prove it! Prove it!" The students (and Ray and Schwoz) chanted, pressuring Henry to show some substantial evidence that would back up his claims because they weren't gonna laugh until they knew it was true. Right now, he was still Kid Danger, so Henry had no choice but to turn to Jasper for the final excruciating stab to his reputation.

"As you can see," Henry started, gesturing to the PearPad being held high by Jasper that showed the SplashFace video of the latest poop attack," in this security camera footage of me...doin' what I love... It's time-stamped, which proves that the exact same time that Kid Danger—whoever he is—was getting his arm broken by Doctor Karaté...I was on the playground."

"Poopin'?" Melvin guessed because he couldn't believe this tall tale. He'd always seen Henry Hart as a sound guy, a little absent from classes, a little more popular with the ladies than he was but still kinda awkward, but not the sort who went around crapping like a cat. It didn't seem right but then again, it took some balls to confess to something like this and he'd only do that if he wasn't Kid Danger, so...

"Yes, Melvin. Thank you. I was poopin'," Henry clarified and it was enough for everyone to break out into grossed-out chuckles, murmuring about how irresponsible, disgusting, inconsiderate and weird he was for getting his kicks out of leaving little presents wherever he went.

And whilst Henry could feel his school life nosediving, Ray and Schwoz were having the time of their lives, mocking the kid by laughing and doing the sign language for pooping, the works, much to (y/n)'s failed attempts to control them. She was laughing too much to be taken seriously, so her fists beating against her lover's chest were actually very gentle and in the end, she just gave up.

"So, obviously, I, uh, I'm not Kid Danger, okay? Please respect my privacy as I seek help during this difficult time. Thank you," and like a true professional, Henry signed off his little announcement quickly, hoping that he could crawl away to die in some dark hole where nobody could find him, but then, a call came from the student body. And it could only be one person.

"Wait! How did you break your arm then?" Melvin, of course, had to ask and suddenly, Henry had to think on the spot. He hadn't planned an answer for that, he'd just assumed that people would be too busy laughing their asses off to question him anymore, so now he was fighting to stay calm again. Something believable, something realistic, something to get them to back off.

"Yes. How did I break my arm?" Think, Hart, think! Oh, god, bad idea incoming, but it would have to do. "After I...did my thang...I slipped."

"On poop?"

"Yes, Melvin. On poop." Someone kill this kid. Someone unalive him before Henry did because he was just so damn annoying and that wasn't just Henry the entire school thought that. But, as embarrassing as that was to admit as well, the kids took it and started cringing again, but this time, there was mocking as well. It had to happen at some point, but that didn't dull the humiliation anymore, Henry was still dying on the inside.

"Henry's the Playground Pooper and he slipped on his own poop and broke his arm!" Melvin laughed as he pointed at the blond boy, who felt his annoyance spike again because even though he expected to be ridiculed, he wasn't gonna take it from that guy. Yeah, he was now the school weirdo, but he was gonna keep Melvin down at the bottom with him, no matter what. Weirdos together, right?

"No one likes you, Melvin! No one likes you!"

"No further questions," Jasper yanked him away and left the crowd to their amused chattering before Henry damaged his reputation anymore. he turned to face his friends where Ray and Schwoz were still finding the situation hilarious, although Charlotte and (y/n) were behaving much better. Sort of.

"Well, that was humiliating."

"Eh, people will have forgotten about it in a week. Whenever the next kid trips in the canteen with their lunch or when a jock hoists a nerd onto the basketball hoop by their underwear. People will forget, Hen," (y/n) comforted him, although right now, it didn't sink in much. Henry looked over his shoulder to see what felt like hundreds of pairs of eyes on him, boys sniggering, the girls he fancied whispering about him and not in a good way. This was it. His life was officially over but Captain Man and his job were safe. He just wished he could feel a bit better about that.

"I know, I know. High school doesn't last forever, right?" He offered the old saying; he'd survive this because every kid leaves school and with that, they leave their problems behind too.

"Of course. High school doesn't mean shit. When you're out in the real world, no one will care about anything that is said or done within these walls, not even if you were the prettiest cheerleader or the best guy on the football field. Popularity is a myth, don't obsess over it," she told him, knowing that he wouldn't know what she meant until his teen-hood was long behind him and having the clown behind her wasn't helping.

They were still making fun, laughing about doodies and logs because both of them were five-year-olds and incapable of seeing how it was getting Henry down. Sure, kids would remember this and possibly tell it to their kids to make them laugh, but his life wasn't ruined, far from it.

"Yeah, but... In the Man Cave..."

"What about the Man Cave?" She didn't know how that was relevant because it was safe, right? They'd done what it had taken to keep it safe so she could work out why he was stressing about it. They worked and lived in a happy environment with nothing to worry about, so what had him looking so gaunt and pale as if he'd seen a ghost? What was making those eyes all puppy-dog? What had Henry Hart so concerned about?

"I'm never gonna live this down, am I?" He asked and for that, she had no advice. Knowing her soon-to-be husband and favourite handyman, it would definitely take a while for this joke to dissipate, unless Jasper did something cosmically hilarious in the next five seconds.

She looked at him with sympathy because she knew it, he knew it. The boys, the girls, everyone wasn't going to let this one go for a while and Henry would just have to tolerate it, another thing to add to the pile of things he tolerated; excessive kissing, wandering hands, endless flirting, mutant experiments in the fridge, never-ending danger and a marriage that kept being talked about even though nothing seemed to be happening.

"No. No, you're not. In fact, it will probably be still fresh and just as funny at the wedding. Hey, you could put it in your best man's speech!"

"I could put it in my what?!"

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medpulse · 3 months

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Did you know?

Presents

Monkey Testicle Transplants: The Secret to Eternal Youth

The age old obsession with immortality has led humans down some peculiar paths in the past. But there may be none odder than the work of Dr. Serge Voronoff; the man who dedicated his life’s work pioneering an elixir that can halt or even reverse human aging by transplanting monkey testicles into people. Sounds crazy right? Well not according to the thousands around the world who decided to undergo this strange procedure.

At the age of 18, Voronoff left his home country Russia to study medicine in France. While there, he studied under Alexis Carrel, a skilled and respected surgeon. This would spark the beginning of Voronoff’s fascination with the prospect of animal-to-human transplants.

He was convinced that the secret to eternal youth lay hidden in our sex hormones, and he wasn’t alone: in 1889, Charles-Édouard Brown-Sequard, one of the fathers of modern endocrinology, injected himself with an extract of finely ground dog and guinea pig testicles.

Séquard's experiments soon proved inefficient. But Voronoff had already transplanted chimpanzee thyroids on people suffering from thyroidal anomalies. And a transplant of a chimpanzee's bone on a wounded soldier in 1915 suggested to him the idea of transplanting a monkey's testicle in a man. According to him, glandular transplants would allow the production of the hormone for an extended time period, unlike Sequard’s opotherapy which required repeated injections with inconclusive results.

In 1896, Voronoff moved to Egypt, There, he took an interest in eunuchs who, castrated when they were children, revealed certain deficiencies. According to a 2007 paper on Voronoff’s life and work, “[h]e noted their obesity, lack of body hair, and broad pelvises, as well as their flaccid muscles, lethargic movements, memory problems, and lowered intelligence.” All of this deficiency he blamed on their lack of testicles—a loss he assumed stripped the eunuchs of magical glandular excretions.

In his 1920 book, Life; a Study of the Means of Restoring Vital Energy and Prolonging Life, Voronoff says, “The sex gland stimulates cerebral activity as well as muscular energy and amorous passion. It pours into the stream of the blood a species of vital fluid which restores the energy of all the cells, and spreads happiness.”

Naturally, his patients weren’t enthusiastic about switching their testicles with those of a monkey, so Voronoff developed a treatment where he’d insert thin slices of baboons’ and chimpanzees’ testicles into the scrotum of men. The graft, only a few millimetres in size, would quickly merge with the human tissue. He promised his treatment had miraculous benefits: increased memory, reduced fatigue, enhanced eyesight and libido – plus, of course, a longer and more youthful life. The operation, Voronoff boldly suggested, might even help to cure schizophrenia.

Voronoff’s treatment became a hit. Millionaires across the world signed up for the surgery, and by the early 1930s thousands of people had been under the knife, including 500 in France alone.

Women too soon demanded their own version of the treatment for prolonged youth, pushing Voronoff to develop a monkey ovary transplant. The surgeon also implanted a human ovary into a monkey and then tried to inseminate it with human sperm!

But the surgeon’s sparkling success came to an end when it became clear that his transplants didn’t deliver the promises he had advertised; initial improvements were read off as placebo effect. The nail in the coffin came in 1935 when testosterone was discovered and its purposes explored, branding Veronoff’s treatments as downright bogus.

Despite how ridiculous it all sounds from our modern day perspective, Serge Veronoff’s work surrounding mammals’ sexual glands are regarded as important contributions to modern endocrinology, biology and hormone replacement therapy. His monkey transplants, however, join our ranks of bizarre medical experiments the scientific community would rather forget.

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goetzjpvis · 4 months

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2/9/24 "The Life of Oharu" JPT3391

With "Life of Oharu" you can very much see Mizoguchi's empathy for the situation of women in Japanese society. Much like "Ugetsu", the movie portrays the experience of womanhood as a sort of "tragedy" in itself, as they are continuously at the behest of men, even when their own livelihood or bodily autonomy is at stake.

As previously mentioned in class, his sister was sold into prostitution at a young age in order to salvage the expenses of his father's failed business venture. Mizoguchi likely had a very close relationship with his sister, and as a result gained a newfound sense of empathy for the plight of women.

I'm just going to address things I noticed about the movie in the order that I noticed them because I think it'll be a bit easier to write and simultaneously digest that way.

We start the movie off with a woman being stripped of her title by sleeping with a man of "lower caste" than her. It is ironic because later in the movie, a nobleman searches for an heir to his throne by combing through geisha, who are also much lower class than him. This shows an unbalanced scale that Mizoguchi himself recognizes, which is why such similar topics are treated so differently within the film. Oharu herself knew that marrying for love was impossible for her- she even tried to reject him senselessly because she knew that it was her jobas a woman in a higher class family to continue climbing the ranks via marriage.

In this world, women are only treated nicely by men when they are of use to them. Oharu herself was a hard working concubine for the state. She gave up her freedoms in order to pay off her father's debt (sound familiar?) and was "allowed to give birth" (I literally almost screamed when I heard that... the audacity!) to the heir of the throne. Even despite everything that Oharu did for the clan, she was discarded when she was no longer needed for birth. In the movie they, distinctly said "The heir has been born- she is of no further use". Additionally, although the throne discarding Oharu was seen as a horrific and unfair event, her father actually gets UPSET with her! Why? Because he needed her to make money, and when she was no longer his pay pig he was unjustly upset.

It goes to show that women in this society can do so much for a man, but once he is done using her body she must find another man who will use her body further, because she has no choice in the matter and needs to survive.

Oharu is seen in a geisha house later in the movie. A man offers her money for marriage as she sadly accepts (she has no other choice!), but he taunts her, saying that "money rules the world" after she previously rejected his coin. Oharu could care less for money, and only wants to be loved. The man uses this against her by effectively luring her in with the promise of a comfortable life in order to satiate his own ego.

Later, when being reprimanded by her pimp, he tells her that "she's no different than a fish on a chopping board". In these movies, women are the victims of men and society at large- plain and simple.

Thank you Mizoguchi.

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