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#that taylor fucking kelly is going to be the reason he and buck get together
chronicowboy · 1 year
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and what if taylor writes a whole chapter on the sniper situation? detailing buck's rescue attempt down to every stuttered word buck told her, laying out the aftermath by the broken moments of buck she was privy to, the crane situation, the nightmares, the shock outside of the hospital. and what if realisation dawns during eddie's hate read?
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laporcupina · 1 year
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Blue hearts (9-1-1)
A coda to 6x10/6x11 | 1300 words, Taylor Kelly
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Taylor’s in the newsroom working late because it’s Santa Ana season and everyone’s working late. Buck once told her that first responders hate the Santa Anas because the wind makes people do weird shit, but weird shit is good business for her. She has already filed a story about a woman out in Brentwood going around pouring yellow paint on cars to protest a proposed rideshare law and now she’s working on the dry lightning story because it’s too big for just Jose and he might be better at investigative work but she’s the one with camera presence.
The big screen on the wall is showing a building fire and once upon a time she’d have been paying close attention, offering to take it even though she’s high enough up on the food chain now that if someone from the mayor’s office isn’t there than neither is she. Once upon a time, she’d joked about hot firefighters but it had always ever been about knowing what was happening before she got an awkward phone call from Bobby Nash because she wasn’t Buck’s next-of-kin. (She’d never cared that Buck hadn’t changed it from Maddie; his reasons weren’t about his lack of commitment.)
But it’s not once upon a time just like it’s not happily ever after and so she turns away and back to her own screen because Jose’s notes read like he’s cramming for a midterm and not a three minute hit before the weather report.
(She knows the 118 is there because nobody in this newsroom will ever stop telling her when the 118 is there. It’s only partially mean-spirited.)
“Holy fuck!” someone yells and she looks up. The cameras on the scene are running B-roll that someone not-her will be narrating later and, without needing to focus on a reporter, the camera is pulled in for a tight shot of a firefighter dangling limply at the end of an extended ladder like bait at the end of a fishing line. Or a sacrifice to an unholy god.
“Lightning strike on the ladder. Blew one guy clean off, other one’s just hanging there.”
She gives up pretending she doesn’t care and stands to watch.
The camera pulls back to another firefighter scrambling up the ladder and while it’s pouring rain and the floodlights are making the reflective strips spark like flares as the man moves, she can make out the name on the back: Diaz.
Eddie’s not the only Diaz in the LAFD and any Diaz would be running for whoever it was at the end of the tether. But she knows it’s him, even in the pouring rain, even in the dark cut by floodlights; he gets illuminated in profile and she can see enough. And she knows that he would be the closest man for precisely one firefighter and Taylor reaches blindly for her desk because she needs something that will stand still while her world is suddenly spinning.
***
The rest of the night is a haze. She texts her friend Olivia that she thinks she just watched Buck die on TV and then tries to focus on Jose’s notes like they will make more sense now that they are the only thing that might keep her together. She gets sent home at eleven by her editor because everyone is going home now that the rain is down to a drizzle. She doesn’t look at her phone until she’s got a glass of wine in her hand and there is a long string of increasingly concerned texts from Liv and two voicemails and she just can’t right now.
In the morning there’s a post on the station website about the fire, the footage of the lightning strike in prime position on the page and autoplaying. Inez did the news story because she gets stuck on overnights and she doesn’t say who it was or which hospital the ten injuries got sent to and Taylor has to decide whether to ask her. Inez is young and pretty and would shank her own grandmother for a scoop and Taylor respects that about her – game recognizes game. Inez isn’t giving her the time of day unless there’s something in it for her and Taylor hesitates on paying that price. Right now, the fire story is clickbait because of the video, but the video will be all over socials by nine-thirty and the story link will be down by the hockey scores and horoscopes by lunch. Inez finding out about Buck will have that story on the top of the site all day because then she’ll have an exclusive – the names that the LAFD has thus far refused to release. Taylor’s not ready to give Inez anything that will get her off of the graveyard shift.
The problem is that she’s got no other options right now. The Jonah Greenway story didn’t just end her relationship with Buck, it also burned all of her other sources. There isn’t anyone at the LAFD who will talk to her on or off the record; the brass hate that she exposed their shitty due diligence in hiring Greenway and the rank-and-file all think she nearly got Hen Wilson and Chimney Han killed. She lets everyone think she doesn’t do fire stories anymore because of a bad breakup, but the truth is that she can’t get anything out of anyone anymore. The entire station has trouble now.
She has no other options and so that’s why she’s knocking on Eddie Diaz’s door that afternoon. Eddie didn’t like her when she was with Buck and she’s sure he likes her even less now, but he’s the member of the 118 least likely to slam the door in her face and that’s enough right now.
Eddie doesn’t answer the door; Carla does. Carla tells her what and where, but also tells her not to go. It’s kindly said, but Carla’s do-not-bullshit-me tone is clear. Everyone from the 118 is there, none of them want to see her, and she no longer has the right to intrude on their privacy.
Taylor wants to say that she doesn’t have to make herself hurt more to make them feel better, but there’s a sudden, desperate, awful wail from the back of the house and it has to be Christopher and Carla gives her a meaningful look before telling her to be well and closing the door.
She can hear Christopher still, crying out for Buck and for his father and it makes her shudder and turn to go.
Back in her car, she calls Buck’s phone and it goes straight to voicemail and she isn’t even sure what she says but she’s glad she got to say something, that the inbox isn’t full. That in case this is ‘goodbye’ she gets to do it pretending he will hear it and not to his coffin.
It’s not to his coffin. LAFD announces that one firefighter has been released from the hospital and, a week later, the second one.  
Two weeks later, she gets a text from Buck’s number: “Thanks” and a blue heart and it makes her laugh despite herself because they had once had a protracted and somewhat drunken debate over what non-red hearts in texts meant and Buck had decided that blue was for nice things and green was insincere for reasons that had made no sense at the time and are lost to her now. Despite everything, she misses him sometimes and right now, she wishes she still had the right to turn up at his apartment and give him a hug.
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elvensorceress · 2 years
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@probieeddie my beloved my darling wondered about a scenario where Buck confesses to Taylor that he kissed someone else and she assumes it’s Eddie. (and has since written an awesome fic of it!)  I wanted to write another side of that scenario? Mainly Taylor going to yell at Eddie for it and Eddie being the 😳 wtf face. But then also thinking about what it means for himself and Buck.
When You Broke Her Heart, I’m Watching it Burn
gen, 4.7K, totally Buddie forever, no cheating is not excused we’re handling things like compassionate adults. mmkay? kay. 💕
At one point, the number of times Taylor Kelly had been in his house was zero. It was a simpler, more peaceful time. For so many fucking reasons. 
But even though that number is nearing double digits because wherever Buck goes, she often has to follow like a very unfortunate fungal infection, the very last thing Eddie expects at ten o’clock in the morning on his day off is for said furious reporter to be on his doorstep. 
Banging very loudly on his door. Like a category five hurricane might be milder. 
Though his first thought, when he opens the door to said catastrophic redheaded hurricane, is not of her. 
His heart frantically rushes and pounds wildly without a tether. Why else would she have rushed over here and woken the dead all the way in Florida? Something must have happened to Buck. “Taylor. Is Buck okay? Are you—”
“Don’t fucking condescend to me, Diaz. I know what happened. How the fuck could you do that?” Her voice shakes. She’s shaking. Fracturing like spiderweb cracks in brittle glass. Like maybe she doesn’t have a shriveled little grinch heart after all? “I’ve been trying. I’ve been trying so hard to be good for him. I’ve been trying with you even. Because I know the two of you are, like, unmatched soulmates and no one will ever mean as much to him as you do. But it’s a fucking asshole move to kiss him when you know that we’re together. How could you do that?”
Eddie blinks. His mouth is open. It fell open at some point. That was a lot of hurricane and what the fuck is going on? Eddie holds up a hand as if it might get him some answers in a classroom. “What?”
“Don’t play dumb. That’s so insulting!” She snaps but there are tears in her eyes. “I know the two of you kissed. I know… Fuck.” She wipes at her face and Jesus, he honestly never thought someone like Taylor would let anyone see her like this. 
It just… kind of makes him feel bad for all the horrible thoughts he’s had about her. 
A little bad anyway. 
But also… “Seriously. Taylor. What are you talking about?”
“Buck told me he kissed someone else.” Her jaw clenches but her lip quivers. “Who else is he going to kiss.”
Eddie stares at her. Buck… kissed someone? Buck told her he kissed someone? 
The sun is suddenly too bright and the heat is too much and why is the world spinning? The fact that she automatically assumes Buck kissed him is also too much. 
Buck kissed someone else? 
Eddie wets his very dry lips with a dry tongue from his very dry mouth. “I don’t know. He didn’t kiss me. We didn’t. Taylor, we… I wouldn’t do that. To you or anyone else.” He didn’t think Buck would either. But if she heard it from his own mouth… Eddie isn’t sure what to think. “I swear. I… He kissed someone?”
Some of her anger fades away and leaves only the ruin behind. “It wasn’t you? Then who the fuck did he kiss? Why? What the fuck?” Her voice breaks and turns watery. She hides her face in her hands and shakes her head like she’s mad at herself for crying, and god, does he know that feeling. 
(continue on AO3)
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hmslusitania · 3 years
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Since we're taking about character purposes, what do you think about Taylor Kelly?
I think... that she is an incredibly divisive character in the fandom and I'm going to regret answering this lol
But, anyway I enjoyed her character at no point more than when she explicitly friend-zoned Buck at the end of Treasure Hunt, and I found their contrasting opinions on what makes a good team very telling (Taylor's definition being goal oriented, Buck's being quality time oriented -- neither of which is inherently positive or negative, and they aren't even mutually exclusive, but in this particular instance, Taylor's definition was not met (they did not find the treasure and the dude got away) and Buck's was (they all got to hang out together and have fun doing wacky hijinks)) and I would be curious to see that come back later.
So I was, y'know, disappointed by the role she filled in Survivors for many reasons.
This got long and kinda ugly so have a cut:
We don't know exactly what all Buck told her about his family in 4x08 or since then, but I did not care for the writers' decision to have her change tone on the friends vs lovers debate only after Buck had put himself directly in harm's way, thereby reinforcing his parents entire axiom while he was growing up that he only gets attention and affection when damaged, especially after that was the main character arc of the entire season. I think that if she doesn't know about that -- which I can absolutely see being the case, because we never (to my memory) saw him tell her about that, so why would she know? -- it is perfectly in character and understandable that she would have some tumultuous and conflicting emotions about him at that moment, so I will be really curious to see if the writers did that understanding that they were reinforcing his bad self-worth impressions or if they weren't paying attention, or if we're supposed to ignore that part of it because of his later comment about being done chasing after people who don't want him and yay it's all happy and resolved because she said she wants him!
Also from 4x14 I am intensely bothered by her "you didn't chase after me" line? Like! Are you kidding!! The man's best friend got shot directly in front of him, he's spent an entire season battling with his own abandonment issues, he's flirted with you across multiple episodes for you to shut him down very firmly, only to then give him affection when he's put himself in danger the exact same way he's been treated by his parents, and what? You want him to play cat and mouse with you while his best friend is in the hospital? What the fuck!! And in this particular case, it also feels very in character, like extremely in character from what we know of her which is not a ton. Like, yeah, I have no difficulty believing that Taylor would be a bit gobsmacked by the notion of a man she's declared some kind of interest in (after providing him nothing but unambiguous, unmixed, negative signals for weeks) not chasing after her.
I think she is intelligent, and driven, and has demonstrated these traits multiple times in the course of the show, and I think she and Buck are going to prove to be highly incompatible in a romantic relationship, and if you're wondering how it is that this entire response turned into a relationship analysis/rant, it's because her character only exists on the show connected to Buck. We do not see her unless she's involved with Buck in some way, she does not exist as an independent character, she doesn't have her own storylines, she's here as a love interest and because Tim wants to explore the reporter angle which, like, Timothy that is a different television show, go produce that.
Anyway, to conclude: I liked the concept of the cutthroat reporter as a character, and then she got softened and sanded down in weird ways specifically to be a palatable love interest and I very much do not like that and am morbidly curious where they take this next season -- if they write her as a consistent character or if they try to soften her even more to actually make her not only palatable but viable as a love interest to Buck, but I will say now: if they try to convince us that Taylor fdlkajs Kelly would be down to start a family with Buck -- which is a fairly reasonable analysis of what his goals are going forward -- I will laugh in the show's face.
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4 times Buck and Eddie pretend to have sex to get rid of someone + 1 time there's no need to pretend
prompt
1) Shannon Diaz
You see, the first time it happened it was totally an accident and misunderstanding (not that Eddie complains how the things turned out in the end).
Shannon just showed up after leaving Christopher (and him) a few years ago. And it seems like she not only wanted to see Chris but expected to get back together with Eddie like there’s no bad blood between them. And that was a firm Nope. No, he does not want to have anything to do with her. He’s not sure he wants to let her into Christopher’s life after her abrupt leave. For Christ’s sake, she didn’t even call to check how their son is doing! What did she expect? A warm welcome? He ranted about this to Buck.
So, the second time she shows up, unannounced, might he add, Buck is conveniently at Diazes’ house. Both of them just came back from 24 hour shift. Chris is at Abuela’s still. So when Shannon comes over she did not expect the half naked guy to open the door to her (technically) husband’s house. He looks like he just came out of the shower and before she can say (yell) anything (like “who the hell are you and what are you doing here undressed like that?”) Eddie comes from down the hall in only a fucking towel.
Eddie: Cariño, who’s there?
Shannon is speechless. She knows enough Spanish to understand this. In all the time that they were together Eddie never called her sweetheart. And by the looks of it she does not need any context here, it’s pretty much obvious what they were doing.
She leaves abruptly without a word, forgetting to ask after Christopher. It is obvious that their marriage is officially over.
Both men quickly guessed to what conclusion she might have came. It was hilarious. And incredibly convenient for Eddie. Buck didn’t mind the assumptions at all.
2) Taylor Kelly
The second time it happened because Buck panicked. Taylor Kelly was at the station. Eddie is not a fan, Buck is not as well. She shamelessly flirts with Buck ignoring the fact that he looks extremely uncomfortable because of her attention. The reporter just does not get a hint. Buck hides in a locker room, that’s where Eddie finds him. He’s freaking out and practically begs Eddie to help him to get rid of Taylor. And Diaz is totally on board with that (not to mention that he might have sought Evan with familiar suggestion).
Eddie just finished working out which helps to reinforce their act. His hair is sticking out like someone ran their fingers through it. And he’s flushed and sweaty, perfect. Buck, though, doesn’t look convincing. So Eddie has some ideas™. They’ve been friends for a few months and they got close quickly. Some might say they ended up real close. They liked to kid around and were shameless and sometimes had no boundaries concerning each other. It felt natural. So Eddie gave Buck some hickeys, both of them giggling the whole time while doing it. Buck gave Eddie some too, you know, to make it look real.
After the dynamic duo’s impromptu departure and then their sudden appearance, firefighters of 118 took a note of how Taylor Kelly was pissed and acted even more bratty than before. She stopped chasing (because that’s what it looked like) Buck and left station with her crew soon after. The team sighed in relief.
No one said anything about hickeys because everyone is used to Buddie’s weird behavior.
3) Abby Clark
The third time, Buck was a bit oblivious when it happened. After Abby came back to LA, and with a fiancé no less, Buck was moody. Not because he missed her (that ship sailed a long time ago), but because he was annoyed and pissed at her behavior. He talked at length with Eddie about his abandonment issues and how Abby contributed to it.
She wanted to talk. Buck did not. Abby kept calling Buck a few times a day but he never picked up.
Then one evening, after a long shift, Eddie and Buck were hanging out at his loft. Evan was a bit distracted at the moment. You see, his bad leg was hurting so Eddie was giving him a massage, it was a normal occurrence. So when Abby fucking Clark called again Buck wasn’t mindful of what kind of sounds he made or what he was saying while answering.
Eddie: Is this ok?
Buck: Of course it is! Fuck, don’t stop, Eddie.
Buck asked what did she want and please, stop calling me, I’m busy.
Abby was mortified. She finally left Evan Buckley alone. Her apologies were too late and not needed anymore.
Though Buck was oblivious at first, Eddie certainly knew what he was doing and how did it sound to Abby. He was a little bit petty, so what? Plus when Buck realized what did they sound like they lost it again. It was like that time with Shannon. When they told the team about it they lost it too, for different reasons though.
4) Ana Flores
The fourth and last time it happened, it turned real.
Eddie was seeing Ana for a few short months, frankly speaking, he didn’t know why he asked her out. She was pretty (not completely his type tho) and nice at first, then she started to act snobbish. They had nothing in common, and she creeped him out after their math date™ or whatever the fuck she tried to turn it into. Ana was pushy about being intimate when he hadn’t felt any sort of attraction to her. He thought maybe it was because she was practically a stranger and they needed time, but she was adamant on getting into his pants and he noped right out of this, because fuck if he was going to let someone to pressure him into doing anything he didn’t want to.
He told Buck about this shit and he suggested to break this thing off and fast, this is not healthy.
So Eddie broke up with Ana the morning the shooting happened after she snooped around on GoFundMe site. Evan was aware of the break up.
So imagine Eddie’s frustration when he was getting discharged and Ms Flores thought it was a brilliant idea to show up and try to convince him to start over.
Eddie got the message from Hen that Ana was coming to his room at the hospital (let’s say Hen was there restocking the ambulance when she noticed her). Buck was trying to help Eddie dress into sweatpants when the door opened and Eddie had a second to come up with their usual plan of making people to fuck off. He put his hand on Buck’s neck and quietly asked him to play along.
Ana determined to make Edmundo see reason and get back together was quite shocked at what she saw. Evan (his best friend, she should have known) was on his knees before Edmundo who definitely wasn’t wearing pants and moving his head quite enthusiastically, while Edmundo looked down with the dark eyes and the hottest expression on his face (she wished he looked at her like that). She should have known this was the reason he was so harshly refusing to get intimate with her. Edmundo was fooling around with Evan this whole time! How many times did they do this behind her back? How dare they?
And yeah, Ms Flores never entertained the thought that she might have been the problem all along and she had some creepy vibes (many of her exes can attest to that).
Embarrassed and angry that another one of her relationships ended in disaster, she stormed away.
The thing is that during their little play Buck actually slipped Eddie’s boxers off, not that Eddie minded. They promptly forgot about Ana or anything else.
----
If someone’s interested in writing this, please tag me when you’re done.
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extasiswings · 3 years
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And part 2.  Part 1 is here.  Also on ao3. See, I said you could trust me. 
Eddie feels like an asshole. 
He hates fighting with Buck, inevitably regrets everything he says when tensions are running high—and they had been. He’d been blindsided the night before when Christopher had stopped him before bed and asked dad, are you dating someone? He’d been avoiding that conversation, hadn’t been ready to have it, hadn’t even known how to start it. And even though he stumbled through it successfully enough, he was still—
He hadn’t slept well, spending the night staring up at the ceiling stewing, uncomfortable and upset for reasons he didn’t even really understand. It was just—what the fuck?  Buck can go out with whoever he wants, including apparently Taylor Kelly, and that doesn’t warrant a conversation about what that means for his own relationship with Christopher, but he felt the need to put himself in charge of talking to Chris about what Eddie dating means? 
Eddie’s not going anywhere, he’s the parent. Buck’s the one who doesn’t have to stick around, the one who can walk away whenever he wants to, who can fall in love with whoever he wants and leave—
It’s not fair. And on some level he knows that. But—what was it Buck said after everything with his parents and Maddie? That it’s easier to lash out at the people you know will forgive you? 
...yeah, it’s easier to fight with Buck than look too hard at why exactly he’s so upset at the idea of Buck not always being there. 
But after the shift, he doesn’t feel any better. He just feels like hell. And as he sits in his truck thinking more about why he hadn’t wanted to tell Christopher in the first place, he pulls out his phone and makes a call. 
It’s easy. Simple. There’s no yelling, no drama. 
He tells Ana she’s a wonderful woman—which is true—but that he’s just not in the best place to be dating—which is mostly true—and she says she completely understands and wishes him well, and that’s the end of it. 
It ends and he’s not sad—it barely even registers—which really says about all there is to say. And Eddie goes home and thinks about how the hell he’s going to fix things with Buck. 
He still doesn’t have a clear plan the next morning, but he figures starting with coffee can’t hurt. He knocks on Buck’s door just before eight—he has a key, but with everything...well it’s easier to knock.
Buck opens the door looking rough, unshaven with dark circles under his eyes, and stops. 
“Hey.”
Eddie swallows hard and holds out the coffee cup like a peace offering. 
“I broke up with Ana,” he says, and Buck takes the coffee, stepping aside to let Eddie in. 
Although, that doesn’t stop him from asking—
“Before or after you bit my head off yesterday?”
Eddie winces. “After. Last night.”
“I’m sorry,” he adds after a beat.  He and Shannon never said that much, more often than not fell into the don’t apologize, just sleep it off school of fighting, which rarely fixed anything, just let things get pushed down to fester until some future barb cut deep enough to uncover them again.  But he wants to say it.  He needs to say it.  So, he does. 
Buck looks down at the coffee cup, takes a sip in the silence—then he shakes his head. 
“You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”  His voice is hollow, accepting, and Eddie hates it.  Because he doesn’t want to be right, he doesn’t care about technicalities, about accuracy.  There have been times when he’s needed to play the I’m his parent card—usually when he needs his parents to back the hell off—but it’s not something he likes to do.  It’s not something he’s ever enjoyed doing.
Especially not with Buck.  
“Maybe, but—I still shouldn’t have said it like that. So. I’m sorry.” 
Buck looks at him for a moment.  “I’m sorry, too,” he says finally.  “Whether he knew or not, you’re right that how he feels about you dating—that’s something for the two of you to discuss and it wasn’t my place to bring it up.  I overstepped.”
“I want him to be able to talk to you,” Eddie replies.  “I know that there may be things that come up sometimes that he won’t want to talk to me about and I want him to be able to talk to someone he trusts if I’m not it, I just also don’t want you to feel—”
His tongue ties itself in knots as he looks away, searching for the right words, but they’re all a mess in his head and his throat, a tangled snarl of thoughts—I’m afraid that I’ve been leaning on you too much feeds into I don’t want to lose you which twines through I don’t know what I’m doing—all too much to spit out.  
Buck has a strange look on his face when Eddie looks back.
“Obligated?”  Buck fills in, and his tone is unreadable.
Eddie shrugs.  “I’ve been doing this alone for a long time,” he says.  And I’m tired, he thinks. 
The strange look doesn’t go away—Buck’s brow furrows like he’s trying to figure out a complicated puzzle.
“You know you can trust me to stick around though...don’t you?”
“I—”  It’s dangerous, the highwire he’s walking on, the thin line between I want and I shouldn’t, the whisper reminding him that he never gets to keep the things he wants.
“Eddie?”  Buck prompts.
“I don’t expect your next serious girlfriend to be super comfortable with you helping to parent someone else’s kid, no,” Eddie admits, and waits for the other shoe to drop.
But it doesn’t.
“You’re an idiot,” Buck says.  And Eddie blinks.
“What?”
“I said you’re an idiot,” he repeats.  “If you think I wouldn’t pick Christopher over some random hypothetical woman—and they are all only hypothetical right now—if you think I would get serious with someone who refused to understand that you’re in my life, that he’s in my life—I—you’re an idiot.  Why wouldn’t I put him first?”
“His own mother didn’t.”
“Yeah, well—I’m not Shannon,”  Buck’s voice is steady, and his eyes soften as he adds— “You let me into his life.  You let me be part of your family—you’re my best friend and I know I’m not his dad, but I’m not just going to walk away from that.  I love—”
Eddie’s breath catches.  Buck cuts off and looks away, clearing his throat.
“—Christopher,” Buck finishes.  
Eddie’s pulse is racing, blood rushes in his ears, and he tries to breathe and put his world right, return it to the balance that existed before he thought Buck was about to say—
It was a stupid thought anyway.  He has no reason to think it, but he can’t stop wondering—            
“Why did you break up with Ana?” Buck asks.  The question cuts through Eddie’s reverie and his throat closes for a moment.  Because he’s been turning that question over in his head for hours and while the answer is simple, it also feels...messy.  Especially in this moment.  Like it leads down a path he’s afraid to examine too closely, a slippery slope that goes...he’s not sure where.  But he owes Buck honesty, so he swallows hard and admits—
“I realized I didn’t want her to meet Christopher as my girlfriend. And I didn’t think I ever would.”
Another odd look flickers across Buck’s face.
“She seemed kind of perfect for you,” Buck says.  “Pretty and smart and stable—”
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees.  “But she wasn’t what I wanted.”
“So...what do you want?”
A single word whispers through his mind, catches in his throat.  And maybe he is an idiot, because he can be brave when it comes to any number of other things—running into burning buildings or downed helicopters, scaling walls and talking down impersonators who steal firetrucks—and yet, when it comes to this—
“I—”
Buck sets the coffee down and takes a step forward, then another, closing the distance until he’s close enough to touch, until Eddie can feel the heat of him.  
“What do you want?”  Buck repeats quietly, his gaze searching, and Eddie still can’t manage to make the words come.  But something flickers in Buck’s eyes before they settle on resolve and he nods.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
Buck laughs and Eddie doesn’t have a chance to ask why before he’s being kissed.  
Oh.
And words may be difficult, but that he can do. 
“For the record,” Buck says when he pulls back.  “I don’t want to date anyone but you.”
“Well, that’s convenient,” Eddie replies, and pulls him down to kiss him again.
When they tell Christopher, they tell him together.  
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cyllaeth · 3 years
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when i’m at home
“... And she just came by the station and brought us coffee!”, Eddie grimaces, trying not to grit his teeth.
“Isn't it a nice gesture?”, Adriana asks; there's hint of amusement in her voice and she's not even trying to hide it. It's late evening; her kids are already in bed and so is Christopher which allows her to talk with her brother for a while. It's kinda their tradition—every few days they call each other—mostly via Skype—to catch up and check if everything's alright. She really enjoys it; the Diaz siblings has always been pretty close no matter how far away they have lived.
“It is. It's just... Why was she even at the station? I thought there's nothing between them. Not after that disaster of a date”, Eddie sighs. Seeing Buck chatting and laughing with Taylor Kelly at the end of their shift really put him in a bad mood. He still doesn't trust her especially around his best friend. He just knows that redhead reporter isn't the right person for Buck. Who repeatedly said he wants a serious relationship, not just a meaningless hookup.
And yet, he's still seeing her. It bothers Eddie so much he spilled out about it when Adriana asked what's up. He thought that it might help him calm down but he feels like he's just more angry than he has been earlier.
“Maybe they're just friends.”, Adriana suggests after a few moments of silence between them. She eyes him suspiciously. “Isn't it what Buck said anyway? That they're better off being friends?”
“Then why was she flirting with him for the whole she was there? Why did she bring him his favourite coffee?”. It's very clear that Eddie's annoyed that his sister isn't throwing insults at Buckley's not-so-new female friend.
“You flirt with him all the time and nobody says anything.”
Eddie freezes.
After what it feels like hours, he looks up at his sister. She has that odd, annoying smug on her face like she knows she's absolutely right and he has sudden urge to wipe it off. She just waits patiently for him to catch up what she said.
“I... What now?”
“You flirt with him all the time. And everyone is fine with it.”, she repeats very loud and clear.
“I don't”, Eddie scoffs. Has she gone mad and he hasn't noticed? He doesn't flirt with Buck, they're just best friends. They joke and bicker quite often but that's it. There's only friendly, platonic banter.
“Have you ever considered you might be in love with Buck?”, Adriana asks. Her question is serious even though Eddie sees the mischief in her eyes.
“Don't you think I would've noticed that I'm in love with my best friend?”, he answers with another question.
He really believes in that. He's been in love once in his life and it was Shannon. And he was definitely aware of his feelings. He still remembers first nervous glances, shy smiles and stuttering. He remembers first touches and kisses and how he had felt butterflies in his stomach. He also recalls their arguments, make-up sex and tears when they'd been hurting each other. Even when Shannon had re-appeared in his life, he was fully aware he still loved her. So if he did love Evan, he'd know. He thinks. He's so lost in thoughts, he doesn't hear his sister's rambling.
“Edmundo!”, she practically yells at him to bring back his attention. It seems to be working so she decides to share her honest opinion. “Eddie, we've been talking for almost an hour now, you had a date with Ana—like yesterday—and you didn't say a word about it. We're only talking about Buck. You're so pissed off because you saw him again with the girl he'd hooked up with in the past. And for me it's pretty telling. You're jealous.”
There's a silence on Eddie's side of the screen. In fact, he's utterly speechless. Adriana's words are ringing in his ears like a fucking bell. Jealous. Is is really jealousy what's been eating him since his friend had reconnected with Taylor?
“Look”, his sister bites her lip as if she's not sure if she should go on. Eventually, she does. “I'm not laughing or mocking you. I love you and I want everything what's best for you. I know you've had a rough couple of years dealing with all that shit with our parents, Shannon dying, tsunami and pandemic and yet, I've never seen you happier. You literally light up when you talk about Chris and Buck. You mention him all the time. You've never trusted Shannon the way you trust Buck with Chris and she was his mother. You two practically live together—last time we talked he was tucking Chris in after he spend the whole afternoon cooking dinner and watching movies with you two. It's something I do with my husband, not with my friends even if I love them. I've only seen glimpses of your life and I'm pretty sure you two love each other.”
Eddie listens. He pays attention to every word that coming out from Addie's mouth. It's hard to admit it but she's right. Buck has stopped being only a guest in his house a long time ago. Lately he's here almost all the time—either babysitting Chris while Eddie's on a date with Ana or just hanging out with the two of them because he doesn't feel comfortable in his own apartment. The thing is, Eddie likes having him around. He enjoys lazy mornings that smell like Buck's famous pancakes and coffee made by Hildy (Buck still teases him about it); he's also very fond of all evenings filled with laughter when they accidentally fall asleep on the couch and wake up in the middle of the night tangled up together. Being this close has never been awkward to them. At this point—Eddie realises—it's more awkward when there's an actual space between them. And, of course, he notices how attractive his friend is. He must've been blind not to see it. It's not like he's the only one who knows that Buck's eyes look like the cloudless sky in the middle of the summer when he's happy and get so dark they look like an stormy ocean, right?
He freezes again for a moment.
“Addie, I'm a little too old to have a sexuality crisis, don't you think?”, he asks but Adriana only laughs. He's not even offended by it because it's kinda hilarious. He would've laughed if somebody told him that he's gonna question his sexuality because of something his sister had said. “What if... What about our family? Parents?”
“You mean if you two get together?” Eddie nods. “I don't think you need to worry about it”, Adriana smiles brightly. “Our mom's wondering—and I quote—when will Edmundo bring back to El Paso that charming friend of his?”
“And so are we!”, Sophia chimes in, appearing suddenly behind Adriana.
“Dios Mío, have you been here the whole time?” Eddie groans when he sees both of his sisters grinning. He's royally fucked now. He knows them well and he's sure they won't forget about anything he has said tonight and will tease him mercilessly. There's a reason why Buck instantly hit it off when he met Diaz sisters. Sophia only nods and winks at him before she disappears again.
“Aunt Pepa loves him and don't even get me started with Abuela. Buck's her favourite grandchild, she gave him half of her secret recipes and he's not even officially Diaz yet!”, Adriana exclaims, pretending to be offended. Then, she adds. “And you certainly don't have to worry about Christopher. The kid loves Buck more than anyone. I'm not even sure if you're still his favourite adult.”
Eddie glares at her but there's a smile on his lips. He's not even slightly surprised that his son adores Buck so much. Honestly, Evan Buckley is his favourite adult too.
—☾—
Adriana's words are still stuck in his head days later when he's at home after another long, exhausting shift. Christopher is already here, doing his homework and Buck—Buck is here too. They're in the kitchen, preparing dinner together. Or it's rather Buck cooking and Eddie trying to steal food.
“Hey, quit snacking and cut the vegetables”, Buck orders and Eddie can't help but smile.
“I love you”, he blurts out. He didn't even think about it, it just escaped from his mouth.
It's Buck's turn to freeze.
Eddie looks at him and realises what he said. He's not panicking; he just feels happy, perfectly comfortable. At peace.
“I love you”, he says it again and suddenly he's in Buck's space. He just leans in and kisses him. Buck's definitely surprised but he only needs a moment to catch up what's going on. He responds very eagerly and kisses him back.
Eddie thinks it's a wonderful feeling. Now he knows that sometimes love doesn't hit like a wave, rapidly and intensively. Sometimes it just sneaks up quietly and patiently, like a river, taking piece by piece. He doesn't mind it.
“You're still cutting vegetables”, Buck says when they break apart. His eyes are full of joy and he's grinning—and Eddie wants to see him like this everyday. “And for the record, I love you too, Diaz.”
Eddie sends Adriana you were right hours later when he's already in bed, Buck curled up next to him. She responds almost immediately I know and he just smiles again.
—☾—
Link to ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30453828
(Title stolen shamelessly from band called The Maine, I highly recommend listen to that song, it fits Buddie so much ✨
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drysdaales · 2 years
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can not stress enough how not serious this is but getaway car for bucktaylor. specifically "think about the place where you first met me" and the bar scene
the funniest thing about this ask is that you just compared bt to h*ddlesw*ft and that, my friend, is the most APT comparison you've made today holy shit
i'm actually laughing rn. is buck miss swift in this scenario? i'm thinking yes (if only bc the progression is then to cruel summer in which he and eddie get together).
WAIT WAIT. no one asked but here's an analysis of this because i seriously can't look at my paper anymore or i'll cry myself to sleep tonight. under a cut bc that is so not fair to anyone if i didn't put one in LOL
"no, nothing good starts in a getaway car" - yeah no fucking shit
"it was the best of times, the worst of crimes i struck a match, i blew your mind but i didn't mean it, and you didn't see it" - this is like. the first time they have sex. i get that buck is like "looking for someone" but he knows it's not gonna be taylor kelly, except she honestly can't stop coming back to him. she was like... kind of into him right away weirdly, even though she kinda disappeared after 2x07/2x08
"the ties were black, the lies were white, the shades of gray in candlelight, i wanted to leave him, i needed a reason" - this is buck talking about abby
i think the pre-chorus is actually the most damning part of the song besides the bridge?
"x marks the spot where we fell apart" - treasure hunt episode, where buck is like hey we make a great team, and taylor tries to push him away, and then you go to ghost stories, and buck is the one saying they don't make a great team anymore (through his actions) "he poisoned the well, every man for himself" - this is about the way they treat each other, specifically how neither of them know how to be there for each other "i knew it from the first old fashioned, we were cursed" - yeah this is obvious lmao "it hit you like a shot-gun, shot in the dark" - this is taylor being floored when buck didn't chase after her and then suddenly wanting him back
the entire chorus is like. so them. they're in the getaway car, trying so hard to be something but they're never gonna go anywhere, because at first buck has literally JUST left abby behind, and by the time we get to taylor's return in 4x08, buck is well involved in the diaz family and is like. obviously in love with eddie.
specifically "don't pretend it's such a mystery/should've known i'd be the first to leave, think about the place where you first met me: in a getaway car" like. they can NEVER be endgame because both times they tried to start anything buck's been hung up on something that makes him unavailable, and now taylor's hung up on the past, and it's just never going to work!
the SECOND VERSE
"it was the great escape, the prison break the light of freedom on my face but you weren't thinking and i was just drinking" - this is buck using her to escape his fucked up feelings after the shooting, right? like she kisses him (she's not thinking) and he just lets it happen? he's just drinking it all in.
"well he was runnin' after us, i was screaming 'go, go, go' but with three of us honey it's a sideshow and a circus ain't a love story and now we're both sorry" - buck's trauma involving eddie and christopher is following them through this new iteration of their relationship, and once it's over, it's one of those things where i can imagine they're both sorry. like buck is sorry his heart was never in it, taylor's sorry she let herself get hurt
"x marks the spot, where we fell apart he poisoned the well, every man for himself i knew it from the first old fashioned, we were cursed" same as before "it hit you like a shotgun, shot to the heart" - the breakup! eek!
then the bridge. "we were jet-set, bonnie and clyde til i switched to the other side it's no surprise i turned you in 'cause us traitors never win" - buck just can't do it anymore, so instead of repeating his past relationships (being left), he leaves this time, because he's becoming the thing that hurt him (abby leaving)
"i'm in a getaway car i left you in the motel bar put the money in the bag and i stole the keys that was the last time you ever saw me" - literally don't know what more to say except this analysis was way too in depth for a relationship that i don't care about BUT bt and h*ddlesw*ft is the funniest comparison in the world THANK you for this
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karenwilson · 3 years
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Buck and his romantic relationships
Honestly there is so much to dig into when it comes to Buck and his romantic relationships. There are some constants that can be found in nearly all of his relationships and some things that are constantly changing and evolving.
One think that strikes me about the women he has dated were strong and independent or arrived there at the end. Abby, Ali, Taylor, even Veronica they all stood their ground and were their own champions. They put their needs and mental & physical well-being first, something that society always expects women not to do. It's something I actually really appreciate about their storylines even if it comes with Buck being unhappy. None of the women set out to hurt him, they just didn't want to put themselves second. And that is perfectly okay.
But let's dive deeper into each of his relationships. Bear with me, it's a long one.
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Abby Clark
Abby was his first serious relationship and now we know why. Due to his upbringing and his parents' abusive behaviour he never really forged any important relationships apart from Maddie. I think it got even worse when he got the jeep as he skipped from place to place, never staying for long anywhere. He didn't have ties anywhere and that made him restless and only seek out sex to forge some intimacy because that was all he thought he could get and something that would hurt him the least.
Anyway with Abby he was able to connect with a woman (one he wasn't working with anyway) on a deeper level. It only worked because it didn't start out as something physical. He didn't know what she looked, only knew her voice and good heart. I doubt they even would've met had it not been for the 911 calls, because they have so little in common.
Buck is actually pretty self-aware when it comes to his behaviour around women but hasn't really faced it before. That's why he tells her that he thinks it isn't a good idea if they meet, because he's worried he'll revert back to his usual coping strategies and it'll end up with him losing their connection.
But we also see that he's inexperienced and that although he knows how to seduce women he's lacking self-confidence in other aspects. He doesn't know unconditional love apart from Maddie and even that trust was broken when she didn't leave with him, when she left him behind. So he often worries he'll do something wrong and put her off; he goes over the top to get her attention - which he has done before in his life. Remember, he could only ever get his parents' attention when he did something big and reckless.
Abby has her own shit to deal with and Buck doesn't really know what to do with that in the beginning. It's not the light-hearted, sweet relationship he might have been hoping for but instead serious and heavy. But helped by Bobby's advice he works through his doubts and puts himself out there, puts Abby first. He always puts other people first, because that's who he is (and lbr, it's not healthy). Sadly to his own detriment because he is more invested than she is; Abby has her sick mother to take care of and is drawn in several directions at once. That's a heavy burden for anyone, especially someone working fulltime. She doesn't want to put her mother in a home as it wouldn't feel right but I also think it comes from a place of societal pressure for women to take care of other people. When her mother dies I actually thought it was a very real and important step for Abby to take put herself first, to take care of her own needs and do something that's vital to her claiming herself again.
I think Buck understands why she has to go but it still leaves him with the impression that he's never good enough, that people always leave. Because that's the experience he's made in life and nothing has changed that for him yet. And I totally get where he is coming from, that he believes it's his fault that she leaves, that he isn't good enough, that she doesn't love him enough. I do believe Abby never felt as deeply for Buck as he did for her but even if she did, sometimes love doesn't fix people. Abby was broken and exhausted and that's something Buck couldn't help with but that doesn't mean he wasn't enough.
She definitely did him dirty by leaving him in the dark and not giving him a clean break when she knew she was ready to move on.
Thanks to Maddie and the 118 he was able to partly work through those issues and put himself out there again.
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Ali Martin
To be honest, Buck dating Ali came out of nowhere for me. Yes, they did connect a bit at the beginning of season two but I honestly didn't see her coming back as a love interest for Buck.
(And is it just me or do I just not remember it but Bobby stopped giving Buck relationship advice after Abby???)
But I thought they were really cute when they were together; the show just didn't make a very good job of establishing their relationship. They had to few scenes on the show but that was by design. I think the show never intended to keep Ali around, she was (sadly) just a plot device for the show to propel Buck's development. It established Buck's behaviours and the patterns in his romantic relationships. He years for deeper connections and a serious romantic relationship that he gets in too deep too fast. Buck doesn't do shit halfway, he gives it his all.
With Ali he was able to go the next steps of moving on from Abby, he had someone who made him happy for a while but of course the show had to reassert that people leave Buck, further damaging his self-esteem. I think it's perfectly understandable for her wanting to end their relationship at this point, when remaining in it would cause her too much pain and grief by always being worried about Buck and whether he would come home that night, would still be alive. That's a lot for anyone to deal with. So it was better for her to get out at that point instead of dragging it out and therefore making it more painful for both of them when it eventually ended.
But Buck doesn't view it as her leaving because of the dangers of his job but because of him. So yet another person leaves him because he's not enough, not right. Being a firefighter is important to Buck, he sees it as his calling, something he is good at and feels right. He defines himself by his job and that ends up doing damage, especially after the bombing and his subsequent leg injury. Buck feels lost when he can't do his job anymore because he feels like he IS his job. That's why Maddie telling him he's good enough and is worth everything even without his job was so important. His job is an important part of who he is but he isn't his job.
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Taylor Kelly
I think with Taylor we saw the mere-exposure effect. Buck has a bit of a thing for voices as we first saw with Abby. With Taylor he knew her voice, heard her whenever he drove to work and obviously liked what he was hearing. And when he met her during that accident he was attracted to her not just by voice but by her looks as well.
Because of his dating experience with Abby and Ali and generally just trying to be a good person, he doesn't want Taylor to get the wrong idea. He likes her, possibly wants to get to know her more and doesn't want to leave her with the wrong impression. Taylor isn't having any of it, because she knows what she wants and what she wants isn't a relationship with him when they first meet. She's young, confident, successful and takes what she needs.
For Buck he has to cut the cord before he gets in too deep. He knows what he wants now and he doesn't want to fall back into his old habits of having sex and not having a meaningful connection. And if he doesn't get out he might fall too fast too hard already knowing it won't go anywere. Plus Taylor tries to expose secrets about his work family and quasi-dad and that would never work. Even if Buck wants romantic love he's not going to step on his 118 family to get it.
When they meet again more than a year later there are no hard feelings (whether that's amnesia on the writers' part or Buck has come to terms with her behaviour we don't know [yet]). Due to their previous actions Buck seems to think Taylor isn't a human being with feelings and hasn't been changed by the pandemic as well. I love Buck but it's ironic that he didn't want to hurt her in season two but inadvertently does so by using her as a shield in season four without her consent. I don't like what he did at all and Taylor was absolutely right on hanging him out to dry on that "double date" and calling him out on him using her like this, by not telling her what she was about to walk into. From her reaction we know he presented the situation differently because he (rightly) figured she might not come otherwise.
It'll be interesting for me to see where their relationship is going. I'd love for them to become friends and see where it takes them from there.
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Veronica
I'm only including her for two reasons: She was Buck's first step to dipping his toe back into the dating pool again and acted as a catalyst to rekindle/change Buck and Taylor's relationship. Plus she also fits the strong woman type Buck goes for (although she additionally has a no-fucks-given attitude and isn't here to coddle anyone and their feelings).
To be honest, looking back on it Buck felt a bit OOC to me during their date. I mean yeah, he's just starting to date again and isn't used to doing it anymore and people change but... He didn't have a problem talking to Ali, Abby, Taylor or any of the women he chatted up with at bars and other places before. Why would he suddenly get so flustered? Even if they started on the wrong foot and he put his foot in his mouth... it just like it was put by the writers there for the laughs and not because it's how Buck would (re)act?? It just feels weird to me now. What did feel real to me was his need to impress her and makes sure she likes him, because Buck needs to be liked and he's really uncomfortable with somone not liking him and not knowing where he stands. He needs to clear the air now, to know what's going on so he can move on. After Abby and being left to doubt himself and being left in the dark about where they stand has left a mark on him (see also him making sure to talk it out with the 118 and especially Eddie after the lawsuit).
Well, that's it for now.
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reachgirl · 3 years
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theories please, who’s the new woman in buck’s life?
a) his mom, who comes to visit
b) his niece
c) a pet (i know everyone wants it to be a cat because of norman but buck has that photo of a golden retriever in his bedroom, so i think dog)
d) a new firefighter who joins the team and who buck is interested in (but who doesn’t become his girlfriend, at least not in the first part of season 4, because oli said that “who’s getting a girlfriend” thing on twitter)
e) another woman who he’s interested in, maybe someone he meets on a call? same thing as above with the “girlfriend” part
f) abby, just to fuck with us
g) taylor kelly, to fuck with us more
h) a therapist who is a professional and doesn’t try to sleep with him 
i) lena bosko, who comes back and talks to buck about lgbtqia stuff
j) nobody and it’s a misdirect because we’re finally getting bi!buck confirmation
h) nobody and it’s a misdirect because we’re finally getting buddie
k) a random woman who buck goes on a date with and who makes eddie realize he’s weirdly jealous and that makes eddie sit down and think about stuff
l) a random woman who buck goes on a date with, which makes eddie jealous but oblivious but makes buck realize something’s going on there
m) a random woman who buck goes on a date with which leads to chris worrying over whether buck will not be around anymore, which leads to eddie realizing stuff
n) ana flores, because eddie and ana start dating so she’s technically in buck’s life now, too
o) lena bosko who buck goes boxing with
p) buck’s twin sister who maddie and their parents hid from him for literally no good reasons i can come up with
q) his grandmother who he always had a soft spot for and who loves him unconditionally
r) one of eddie’s sisters who moves to LA and who buck starts dating
s) albert’s hookup because buck and albert are quarantining together and she*s there too
t) nobody and they are literally just fucking with our heads for fun
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TUMBLR FUCKED UP SOME OF MY ASK POSTS I AM SO SORRY ANYWAY 
@buckleydiazs​ asked:
talk to me about eddie and chris asking buck to move in, pls and thank u 🥰
Their first unplanned night together starts off with a text message.
Ironically enough, it’s not even a message between Eddie and Buck—it’s between Buck and Maddie. Eddie is all smiles as he pulls his truck onto the highway, Buck in the passenger seat, laughing easily at some story Eddie was telling. It was nice. It was easy, easier than most of the relationships Eddie had ever had before, but that wasn’t surprising—at least, not anymore, not with Buck.
Once Buck had gotten the stick out of his ass, Eddie realized how easily the two of them would get along almost immediately. Buck was... well, he was a far better person than Eddie was, and Eddie would be the first to admit that, but Buck seemed to be oblivious to the fact that he could basically out shine the sun with one of his big toothy smiles.
Their relationship was unique, certainly; they had survived things that went beyond the real of “regular people”; tsunamis, earthquakes, bombs, and most stressful of all (weirdly enough), a lawsuit. somehow, the lawsuit was the straw that broke the back on their friendship—Eddie had finally pulled his head out of his ass, realized how miserable his life had been without Bucky, and asked him out on a proper date a week after Buck's first call back on the team.
Though they spent a lot of time together as friends, and that had only grown after their first official ‘date’, they had been carpooling out of necessity for the week—Bobby had been good enough to match their schedules up while Buck’s Jeep was in the shop—and Eddie insisted that it wasn’t too much of a detour to shuttle Buck back and forth to work.
The mood in the truck was easy and light, and Buck was still laughing when he pulled his phone from his pocket, tapping at the screen a few times—and like someone had switched on a vacuum, the good mood was sucked through the window in less than a second.
“It’s Maddie. She says Taylor Kelly is at my apartment complex. Apparently there was a pretty big drug bust in the building across the way, she has her van camped out in our lot.”
And, well, Eddie wasn’t about to tolerate that, wasn’t about to tolerate anything that made Buck unhappy, anything that could suck the joy out of him in an instant, for reasons that he chose not to dive too deep into. He focused instead on the problem (and yeah, Taylor Kelly was a problem with a capital B), and what he figured was the easiest solution.
“Oh. Well, then you’re staying at our place tonight.”
As expected, Buck started up a whole litany of protests. It was a little sad, Eddie thought, how eager Buck was to talk himself out of a good time, and if he didn’t have the backup of a year of knowing Buck as well as he did, Eddie might have actually taken his ramblings at face value.
As it was, though, he had an ace in the hole. A surefire way to get Buck to shut up and accept some good in his life. He didn’t like to play it, but he knew that he had to as soon as Buck mentioned “I’ll just stay at the firehouse tonight, it’s really no issue, I’ll order take out, and—”
“Buck, it’s fine. Chris has been begging me to invite 'his Buck’ over for dinner for a week now anyway.”
“...oh. Okay.”
Was it wrong for Eddie to use his son so easily, knowing that Buck was as wrapped around Chris’ finger to the degree that nearly rivaled himself? Probably. Could Eddie bring himself to care? Nope.
Especially not when Chris basically launched himself into Bucks arms, completely overjoyed that Buck was here for a “surprise sleepover”. 
Dinner had gone off without a hitch, with Chris easily dominating most of the conversation, rattling off facts, figures, stories from school, information about his friends, and Buck had eaten it up. 
Eddie had found himself staring at Buck—more than once—with a little bit of a dopey look on his face, he was sure, as Buck got more and more animated, making Christopher laugh, telling stories of his own, and he hadn’t even bothered to look away when Buck caught him staring.
Buck was a blusher. Eddie loved it.
Now, though, Chris had disappeared to brush his teeth and put on his pajamas, and Eddie and Buck were working in companionable quiet as they started to clean the table.
"You know, if Taylor being at my apartment means I get to spend the evening with my two favorite guys...” Buck said with a smile, closing the fridge as he leaned against it, keeping an ear out for Chris as he turned the faucet in the bathroom on. “...I’ll have to invite her over next time.”
Eddie shrugged, gesturing vaguely with a spoon, though he couldn’t keep the smile off of his face as he rose a brow. “Buck, you know you don’t need excuses, right? You’re allowed to like this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I am as wrapped around your finger as you are Chris’s.”
Buck was blushing again, and that was all the encouragement Eddie needed to step forward, his arms wrapping around Buck as Buck started to speak again. “You... you know the feeling is mutual, right?” he asked, and Eddie felt himself light up. “And I... don’t really want to wait for a next time to spend some time with you either.”
Buck wasn’t sure which God was on his side, but either way, he was immensely thankful that Chris didn’t barge in until long after Eddie and Buck had separated, even if they were still breathing a little heavily.
--
The next unexpected visit, it turns out, was only four weeks and three planned dates later. 
Buck had had many a sleepless night after the tsunami, but after the lawsuit, his nightmares had become even worse, more intense, more real. There were nights where he had to tell himself, ten times, that Chris was okay, that he was alive, and then there were nights like tonight, where he let the fear outweigh the guilt and he called Eddie.
(It was probably telling that he was never afraid of his own death—only Chris’. If he had a therapist, he would probably bring that up, but... well, therapy had never been a great idea for Buck before.)
To his credit, Eddie hadn’t let it ring even twice before picking up. 
“Buck, Chris is okay. He’s okay. You saved him, Buck, and I can never thank you enough for that.”
“Ed—he was right there, and I lost him, and I—”
“He is okay. Buck, seriously, he’s okay. Here, you should come over. See for yourself?”
“What? No.” Buck may have been coming out of a nightmare, but even then, he knew not to risk disturbing Eddie more than he absolutely had to.
“Buck, whatever thoughts are swirling around in that head, you better, get your admittedly very attractive ass over here right now.”
...well, he couldn’t argue with that. 
Eddie could feel his heart break when he opened the door, though, and got an armful of puffy eyed, apologetic Buck in response. They quietly made their way over to Chris’ room and then to Eddies own, where he made no short work of Buck’s apologies, kissing him soundless every time he tried.
At the end of the night, Buck wasn’t sure what had helped him sleep better—seeing Chris alive and well, or spending his night in Eddie’s arms, wrapped up tight enough that he couldn’t break free even if he tried.
Not that he would.
--
“Hi Buck!”
“Hi Christopher!” 
Buck was all smiles as he swooped in to scoop Christopher into a big bear hug, leaning over to kiss Eddie’s cheek as he let Chris back down to the ground and they started walking back to the car. “How was school, buddy?” He asked, easily going into idle listening mode as Eddie’s hand slipped into his. It was an early release day for Christopher, and he had all but demanded that they spent the afternoon hanging out together—and it was moments like these that reminded Buck about how lucky he was, swinging his hand in Eddie’s like a teenager as they walked back to the car, Chris eagerly leading the way.
Honestly, if anything, the fact that a date night for Buck was now spending a night at the museum with his boyfriend and his kid (instead of in a club, or at a bar, or doing something he probably wouldn’t remember the next day) really was a testament to his own personal growth. No drinking, no drugs, no questionable sex with questionable people in questionable locations—just a nerdy firefighter and his kid.
Dinner consisted of hot dogs and pretzels and soda, and somehow Chris was outpacing them on energy as they wandered through the exhibits. Buck never quit being amazed at just how much Chris knew—hell, Buck was an adult and he still didn’t know the difference between a Monet painting and a Manet painting—but Chris was like the little brainiac Energizer bunny, his energy only weaning after they got home and demanded Buck read him two whole stories for bedtime, and Buck was feeling selfish enough to allow himself a few moments with Chris, sleeping on his shoulder, before he tucked the boy in for the night. 
“I’m gonna get going.”
“You don’t have to, you know?”
Eddie kept his voice low as Buck slid Chris’ door shut, his arms finding their way around Buck’s waist on autopilot, easily masking the twinge of annoyance he felt when Buck had the audacity to look surprised.
“What do you mean?”
If he ever met that Abby chick, he was going to give her a piece of his mind. 
“I mean you don’t have to leave. You can stay, sweetheart. I… well, I want you to stay, but I always want you to stay, so I’m a little biased. But you can stay as long as you want, whenever you want.” 
It was better, he hoped, to be direct, because Buck obviously didn’t get the hint after so many subtle cues. Hell, Eddie had given him a key after their third official date, and all Buck had commented was how glad he was to have it, in case of emergencies. Unfortunately, the fact that Buck seemed dumber then a box of rocks didn’t seem to count as an emergency. 
His argument seemed to be well received tonight, at least, because Buck smiled shyly as he looked up to Eddie, his own arms sliding around the other males shoulders. 
“You’re sure I won’t bother you and Chris, right? You really want me to stay tonight?”
“Of course I do.” Eddie said. For the rest of your life, he managed to keep inside. 
--
“Buck, you know you’re always welcome here, right?”
“Yes, Eddie.”
“And you know we love having you here, and we generally hate it when you leave.”
“I get it, Eddie.”
“So you know—“
“Eddie, will you please let me in?”
If Buck wasn’t soaked head to toe, standing on Eddie’s doorstep, he’d probably start to think that the universe was playing a cruel joke on the both of them. It was certainly playing a cruel joke on Eddie, to be honest—they had finished a particularly grueling overnight shift just three hours ago, and he had all but begged Buck to come and get some rest at the house while Christopher was out with Carla that day, and Buck had politely but firmly refused, not wanting to trample on any of the time that he got to take for himself. It was driving Eddie crazy, to be honest—he had really thought that they had made progress on that front, that they had finally gotten to the point where Buck didn’t think he was intruding, or interrupting, or distracting, or whatever. He really had thought he had made his stance clear—that he always loved spending time with Buck, period. 
Well, he was certainly never one to back down from a challenge. 
“What even happened, Buck?”
“The pipe burst in the apartment above me. I got soaked through in the middle of a nap.” 
“Oh, Buck.”
“It’s not funny, Eddie! I was trying to be considerate!”
“Baby, I’m not laughing. I’m just very distracted by how good you look soaking wet.”
“Eddie, I swear to god—“
“Do I look like I’m joking?”
“….oh. Oh!”
--
“I meant what I said, you know?”
“Hmm?”
They had gotten down to the lazy, delighted moments of the evening, standing together in the shower, Buck slotted easily into Eddies arms. They were taking advantage of the last twenty minutes they had together before Chris came home, and needless to say, neither of them were exactly jumping at the idea of wearing pants again.
“We love having you here, Chris and I. And we really do hate it when you leave because you think that you have to, or you think that you’re intruding, or you think… well, whatever else that you’re thinking.”
“Eddie…”
Buck turned in his arms, pushing his wet hair back, but Eddie smothered any chance of a self depreciating comment by pressing their lips together. He didn’t pull back until he knew Buck would be breathless, panting, and dazed, and it probably wasn’t fair to fight that way, but Eddie couldn’t handle another comment about how much of a bother Buck perceived himself.
“You’re home to me, Buck. Chris too. He loves you and he looks up to you, and you drive me crazy thinking that you could be anything but welcome in our lives. Buck, I want you to move in with us. Stay. Forever.”
There was a time and a place where Buck’s self doubt would have run rampant faced with a confession like that—hell, Buck 1.0 wouldn’t even have allowed a relationship to get that far—but somehow, looking up at Eddie, nothing could be more perfect. 
“You’re home to me too, Eddie.” He started, softly, a smile on his face. “And if you and Chris really wouldn’t mind—“
“It’s not just that we wouldn’t mind, though. It’s what we want. We want you to live with us, sweetheart.”
“… well, I’ve never been good at denying anything my Diaz boys want, have I?”
--
(Over dinner, Buck had nervously approached the topic with Chris, because no matter how sure Eddie was, Buck had to hear it for himself. 
Chris got so excited he almost threw up. 
Eddie considered everything about that night as a win—but the best part of all was the price, Buck, beautiful Buck, waiting for him in his—no, in their bed.)
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matan4il · 4 years
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What do you think the chances are that buddie will stop getting scenes together if either one of them get a love interest next season, like in 2b where they barely interacted because Eddie was with Shannon and Ali was with Buck?
Hi Nonnie! Very interesting question, thank you for it!
TBH, I think 2B did give us a few golden moments (if you look at the meta I posted on AO3, I believe I singled out episodes 213, 214, 217 and 218 for having some good Buddie content. Lemme know if you need help finding it). Ali was barely present, Maddie even made a sarcastic quip about Buck’s absent girlfriends, while Shannon only appeared in 2 episodes other than to ask for a divorce and to die. So I think the issues is less whether they have LI’s...
Because listen, when I started watching season 3, I was ready for new or returning LI’s, ok? Ali’s break up with Buck was sort of up in the air, so she could have been back or he could have gotten a new one. Eddie would take more time after Shannon, but... These guys were the show’s only single characters, so it seemed reasonable they would get LI’s.
And instead we got the tsunami. And Buck being Chris’ co-parent basically confirmed and canonized. And them being more domestic than ever. AND FLIRTING. And even in episodes that seemed to threaten that (the potential of Lena substituting Buck in Eddie’s life or even going full LI, Ana the teacher appealing to Eddie, Shannon being emotional front and center for Eddie Begins and lastly Abby being back for Buck’s closure), in every single one of these instances, the show didn’t neglect to also show us Buddie and how vital they are to each other and how the one is an integral part of the other guy’s life and how they fucking fall apart without each other when they’re separated and hold each other up and make sure the other man’s okay when they’re together.
The show can obviously change course in s4! But I honestly don’t see why they’d take their time building up Buddie so much only to tear them down for the sake of temporary LI’s. I think to me, the episode that most explicitly ventured into LI land was 312 with Ana and even that one closed with a Buddifer scene in which Buck was more a part of and essential to this small family unit than the show can ever hope to make any LI. The fact that they did this in an ep supposedly presenting a potential LI was a declaration that the show understands what a huge draw Buddie and their adorable family is and they have no plans of fucking with that. 
THAT SAID. We could see an LI play out into a jealousy storyline where one of the men is jealous of the other guy dating. AND I WILL HONESTLY DIE. It would be such a romantic trope. We already kinda had glimpses of that, like with Eddie strolling over to Buck when he was flirting with Taylor Kelly in 206 and again Eddie being ABSOLUTELY DONE with Abby in 318, but if we have a whole storyline for this? Holy shit, Nonnie. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. That could actually be A Very Good Thing (as long as it’s done right) if they use this storyline to make one of the guys or both realize their feelings (I think if they did this, the former would be more likely than the latter, though this show is also capable of stringing us along, giving us this romantic trope and still only making it seem like the jealousy is over being afraid of losing this friendship. Which has been done with opposite couples too, but always as a wink that something romantic will come, the ship is just not there yet).
But that’s my messed up brain. Truth is, this is anyone’s guess. What’s yours? Come tell me, I’d love to hear your thoughts! xox
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sarahreeese · 6 years
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The diversity issue One Chicago isn’t fixing any time soon
6 years on TV 15 seasons of all the One Chicago shows combined. 94 regular and recurring characters 2 specifically stated LGBTQ+ characters that were on for more than an episode. One who died due to man pain, and the other a manipulative awful girlfriend of said dead woman.
That’s about 2% of the characters on all of the shows.  
Their only significant gay character died in 2014. That’s nearly 4 years without any kind of representation. When One Chicago was criticized for having a lack of racial diversity on their shows, they made Med, whose cast is nearly half people of color. (Though they don’t all get equal air time or story quality but that’s another post.)  Justice took it one step further and had more people of color than white people.  So they can take criticism and change tactics, they’ve shown that. So why not change this? They’ve had time, characters, and 2 shows to correct this glaring problem. Why haven’t they?
It wasn’t planned from the beginning/The characters haven’t shown any signs of being gay. Sexuality isn’t something that needs to be revealed right away, there are so many storylines especially in the field that these characters work in that would make for great drama AND great representation. Give me a fire fighter or a cop who is gay, and hides it from the team because they don’t want to be seen differently by their team. Or a new character who had a horrible experience with their old team or house or whatever, and decides to come out only after they trust people. Or we could just have a great storyline where someone is out and proud and everyone deals with it respectfully. As for trans characters, all of the above apply, but they could also have a doctor transitioning, and we see the medical storyline play out as well as the emotional one with the doctors. People discover these things about them later on in life, there is no reason any character couldn’t be made to have these thoughts and feelings. These storylines write themselves and are incredibly easy to weave into the shows naturally. You’re just being lazy One Chicago.
It doesn’t have network appeal/wouldn’t play well with the demo. There are currently about 36 regulars/recurring characters active in the One Chicago Universe. No one is being threatened by putting any LGBTQ+ characters into the storyline. Also if people aren’t exposed to this in television, how will they be introduced to these ideas if they don’t know anyone personally. Also queer people exist and watch this show. We want representation too. And 18-49 is definitely going to have some of us in it.
They’d have to bring in new characters in order to have LGBTQ+ ones. No, they wouldn’t. See the first mock question. But also in the past 2 seasons they have introduced about 7 recurring or main characters. All of them straight.
You don’t know if they’re straight, you’re assuming. Yeah, because that’s the intention that the shows are going for. In order for representation to exist there needs to be some sort of explicit statement or act to show it. Otherwise it doesn’t count.
It’s not realistic to the type of jobs. Really... There are no gay cops or firefighters, or doctors?
These shows are about the jobs not the personal lives. Sexuality and gender expression ARE NOT PERSONAL LIFE THINGS. It’s who someone is, and that’s One Chicago’s specialty. The characters stop them from being just like every other procedural on every other network. And if you have time to show us scenes of every other heterosexual couple you have time to show us queer ones.
Stop watching the show if you don’t like it. No. I love these characters and that’s why I want these shows to do better, and be better. I’d also love consistent writing, which I’m not going to get either, but I can still ask for it.
Now here’s a list of characters who could easily be either read as queer or could discover they were queer. (Also PS, I’ll be using gay in the colloquial manner as in Make this Character Gay, which also means like make them queer or any kind of LGBTQ)
Starting with the newest regular characters.
Ava Bekker: Definitely brought in to be the new lady Connor fucks, but hey you could make her Bi or Pan. She made a comment about liking dangerous men, does that mean she doesn’t like dangerous women? Make her gay 2K18. Wouldn’t it be interesting to see her not wooed by Connor’s charms and become Zanetti 2.0? She could use a great girlfriend, or non binary friend. Maybe a sweet smart bundle of anxiety who is a second year psychiatry resident? You could show possible anxiety she might have about coming out when she’s in line for a competitive position.
Hailey Upton: Possibly had an affair with that dude. Alright. Make her bi then. Or if she didn’t have that affair, make her gay. There’d probably be very positive feedback, and her character might be better received if it didn’t look like she was taking Erin’s place completely. She’s cool, and calm, and doesn’t do a million illegal things an episode like some other characters. Gay Icon 2K18. Make it happen PD.
Stella Kidd: She’s got a thing going with Severide. That’s great, you can be Bi and in a relationship with a dude. That’s what bi means. Have her talk about an ex who is not a dude. Or if you’re going to make Kelly find himself for the umpteenth time instead of getting them together, have Kidd find a nice not cis-guy to date. 
Isidore Latham: Sure he had that mean sex worker trick him at the conference he went to with Connor, but we don’t know any indications of who he is interested in. Why not make him queer?
Looking at characters who have been around for a few seasons.
Sarah Reese: She comes from the east coast with a very wealthy mother and absent father. Her mother was never home, and we are shown her numerous confidence issues. If she was bi or pan, she would probably not express it because she wants to stay in the shadows. We can see that in the pastel neutral colors that she dresses in, and her over all demeanor. Show me a Sarah who falls for someone who she thinks she shouldn’t, and have her wrestle with those feelings and come out ahead of them. Then we can see her date a super intelligent and confident heart surgeon from South Africa. Sarah is also young and has super liberal leanings, making her the most obvious choice in Med.
Maggie Lockwood: We know next to nothing about Maggie. She’s an open book and has no restrictions put on her by previous statements. She’d be an excellent lesbian who is proud of her sexuality and is one of the most respected people in the ED.
Noah Sexton: Give me something that would make me stand Noah as a character. Show him dealing with his identity as a latino man from a religious background. It would be interesting and much better than his sexual harassment storyline we’re going with in this season.
April Sexton: Very similar to Noah with regards to being latina with a religious household, but she also has very strong desires to please her parents, and falling in love with someone who isn’t a man would be a challenge for her to over come. 
Kelly Severide: I mean who says he hasn’t slept with someone who wasn’t a woman before. Again, he can be with Kidd or whoever else they want to put him with, and mention an ex-boyfriend. Or maybe he doesn’t mention it and it comes out and we see a respected queer lieutenant. And who wouldn’t want to see Taylor Kinney maybe make out with a dude?
Connor Rhodes:  Bad boy who bucks familial conventions by being bi. It’s one of the reasons he ran off when he graduated school. Now he’s back in Chicago and is juggling his identity with the expectations of his family, name and this fellowship. Ava finds out he’s bi too, and they become ONLY friends. But good friends. 
Kevin Atwater: You’ve given him 0 romantic options in the show in 5 seasons, while Ruzek has had 2 engagements...(different post...) Maybe it’s because he’s gay. He and Peter Stone had excellent chemistry on the Justice crossover, delve into that. Show this badass strong and sensitive guy with a great boyfriend.
Sylvie Brett: Maybe she ran away from her wedding for more than just cold feet about missing out on the world. Maybe she never acknowledged those feelings inside her and she wants to date someone other than a guy? I don’t know. Possibilities are open.
This is just a small amount of options. You could write a scenario for nearly every character in this universe. So why don’t they? 
PS: I’m horrible at coming up with Trans and Ace/Aro head canons so if you have any please reblog and put them. I want to read them very badly. ALSO if you have any head canons about this reblog and put them. Let’s get diversity in fanon if we’ll never have it in canon.
Special shoutout to  @lesbianhaileyupton, and @xelmanrique318 for bringing this up in the tags and causing me to get pissed enough about it to write this whole thing out. I reblogged their posts, and they’re 100% worth a read.
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