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#that said it's not bad either - but i persist only for john
coldnutparadise · 2 years
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john as a morph: [picks up a stick and waves it around] everybody: that’s john.
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arthurtaylorlester · 5 months
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i’m going to have to be honest, i don’t think today’s episode was very good.
of course, there were bits i loved as is with every malevolent episode, like jarthur saying each other’s names like that and arthur styling his hair after clark gable and john remembering, john literally acting like trying to kill oscar was nbd :), it was all very endearing.
but man. some of the other stuff threw me off so bad. there were NO STAKES, any sense of urgency created was immediately destroyed by jarthur literally talking their feelings out. one second is literally jumping on walls like a rabid dog, the next he’s calmly communicating with john and then he’s acting superior and calling him a child.
like, we’ve seen what triggers arthur’s erratic behaviour (usually a distinct lack of john) and how he acts when he’s like that, and sorry but just don’t think this was a case of that.
furthermore, arthur calling john was weird. not in the oh no! is john is canonically a child so you cant ship him with anyone because fuck that, that was not the implication, but in the sense that i think it was incredibly ooc of arthur to say that. like, he recognised that yellow was Like That because he was awful to him, not because he was a child. so why is he saying this to john? he says john can’t handle his emotions, which yeah because he can only talk to you which john makes very clear. arthur says its unfair for john to expect that he never speak to anyone again, but that’s not even what john asked. he doesnt want to be ignored and rather be included, which is a totally reasonable thing to ask for! he even says to arthur when he’s going off the rails that he’s used to being ignored by arthur by now and i don’t think this is another manipulation tactic.
seems like both of them forgot the main goal of the show: separating john from arthur without the king taking him back.
the friendship breakup with oscar at the end was ridiculously tacked on and in my opinion shouldve been the beginning of the next episode. but no, obviously that couldn’t have been done since the next episode is the season finale.
which brings me to my next qualm: this is a terrible penultimate episode. penultimate episodes are supposed to raise the stakes higher than theyve been the whole season so the finale is literally unhinged. and malevolent has been excellent at doing that (see: part 27 the roots). But all this episode does is nullify the stakes, we’re not looking forward to anything next episode. John and arthur are in their healing era (there was no divorce this season let’s be real), theyve left oscar, the stone is gone, the butcher is in police custody and daniel is fine.
so how is the season supposed to end with them (presumably) in the dark world? around a year ago, harlan said dark world arc soon. when is soon.
the lack of stakes in s4 has been a persistent problem for me i think, most conflict has been resolved either within the episode or soon after, especially jarthur relationship problems, which are like the core of the show
don’t get me wrong, i’m not saying i dislike s4, i love it, especially the first half, i think part 31 is the best malevolent episode to date. it’s just that with how well written it’s been, i was taken aback by this one just being…. ok?
i think that because every malevolent episode is such a banger, this one kind of being all over the place, especially with arthur’s characterisation, is kinda disappointing? ofc, ik basically all of harlan’s fam and himself were sick during november + they had a whole baby, so i’m hoping the shift in quality was a circumstancial thing.
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steveezekiel · 2 years
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TEMPTATION COMES THROUGH EVIL DESIRES THAT ENTICED
12. "Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.
13. Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone.
14. BUT EACH ONE IS TEMPTED WHEN HE IS DRAWN AWAY BY HIS OWN DESIRES AND ENTICED."
James 1:12-14 (NKJV)
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• You need to watch the thoughts and desires in your heart as a believer.
- Before somebody falls into a sin, he or she must have been thinking along the line of that particular sin.
- When a seed of thought is sown in someone's heart by the devil; if the person permitted the thought and persisted on it, then it becomes a snare—an enticement that causes his fall.
"Then, WHEN DESIRE HAS CONCEIVED, IT GIVES BIRTH TO SIN; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death."
James 1:15 (NKJV)
• If you see yourself struggling with a particular sin, you check the desires of your heart. What are the things giving birth to such thoughts and desires in your heart.
- If the thoughts and desires are caused by the books you read, the programmes you watched on TV, what you listened to on radio, what you watched or read online, then you need to stop reading such materials and stop watching or listening to such programmes.
- Moreover, if the thoughts and desires are caused by association, communion with some people; then you need to break up with such persons.
• There is no curse without a cause (Proverbs 26:2).
- There is a reason for that negative desire, and if the root of the matter is not dealt with, you cannot experience total freedom.
- Enticement comes through DESIRES which later give birth to sin.
• After you have broken away from the source of that negative desire; then you begin to feed your mind with things that can give you, birth in you, good thoughts and desires.
"Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow [abundance[ of wickedness, AND RECEIVE WITH MEEKNESS THE IMPLANTED WORD, WHICH IS ABLE TO SAVE YOUR SOULS [minds]."
James 1:21 (NKJV)
- The Word of God will save your soul, that is, it will renew your mind—to think wholesomely (Romans 12:2).
- Remember, your mind cannot be left empty, it has to be filled with something, either good or bad stuff. You make the choice of what you want your mind to be filled with—you are the gatekeeper to your mind: "keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life" (Proverbs 4:23).
- You live according to what your mind is fed with: your mind gives birth to thoughts that are in line with what you programmed in it.
20. "And He said, "What comes out of a man, that defiles a man.
21. "For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders...
23. "And the evil things come from within and defile a man."
Mark 7:20,21,23 (NKJV)
• If you do not feed your mind with things that give birth to Godly desires; the enemy, the devil, may take advantage of you and begin to inject in your mind the dirty things that defiled (Ephesians 2:1-3).
- The system of the world is contrary to God's principles.
- There are things we see daily that can contaminate our minds and birth sinful desires—because we live in a sinful and broken world.
- You can only counter those things which come to your mind through what you see and hear daily—by feeding your mind with the Word of God.
- When you stop feeding your mind with the Word of God, other things will begin to occupy your mind—sinful desires.
15. "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him
16. FOR ALL THAT IS IN THE WORLD— the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—IS NOT OF THE FATHER BUT IS OF THE WORLD.
17. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it, but he who does the will of God abides forever."
1 John 2:15-17 (NKJV)
• The antidote to evil desires is to keep feeding your mind with the Word of God—to counter the negative thoughts that come from the world.
"And do not be conformed to this world, BUT BE TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."
Romans 12:1 (NKJV)
• You will not fail in Jesus' name.
Peace!
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cowboisadness · 3 years
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Warm Beer {Arthur Morgan x F!Reader} 18+
Some warm beer and a lot of teasing with a beer bottle idk i came up with this idea at like 3am.
No smut but might do a part 2. Sexually suggestive and sexual themes. UNDER 18 DNI
Wordcount: 1604
.....
The beer stays warm here in Lemoyne. With no escape from the persistent heat and humidity, as well as none of us being stupid enough to keep the crates submerged in the swamp water surrounding us in the hopes they would be a few degrees cooler to actually give us all some relief. 
Relief is what all of us needed right now. Constantly running from the law and Pinkertons, bad job after bad job, the camp’s money slowly dwindling, some people working too hard while others did barely anything other than keep their asses flat to the ground. 
The only positives being we now have a real roof over our heads courtesy of the shambles that is Shady Belle and the beer was never in short supply. 
This hot and disgusting evening had us all sat either by the fire or at one ofthe tables nearby. Listening to Javier and Uncle share a merry tune while we drank the evening away thanks to this piss-water excuse for alcohol.
Arthur, John and Bill returned only a couple of hours ago after planning to rob a high-value stagecoach that was making its way from Blackwater to Rhodes. it was a disaster, as Arthur expected. 
‘They are never worth the trouble.’ He would say ‘Always turn into a bloodbath.’ he would argue...and he was right, as usual. 
The coach wasn’t holding even half of what they were expecting and they got away with even less and a bullet wound for Bill, thankfully it wasn’t anything a few stitches couldn’t handle.
Arthur was still sour about the whole ordeal even a couple of hours later. So I did what I have been doing for almost a year now when he gets like this. Leave him to calm down then let him take the rest of it out on me in private. We all win that way. 
I had my eyes on that man since the day I arrived in the gang almost two years ago, and it wasn’t long until the shy glances, shy touches and even shyer words became more for us. But it took a year for both of our stubborn asses to take the next step. Trying to keep it a secret from the others was both thrilling and a task in itself. Only so many last-minute hunting trips that would result in us only bringing back one deer or a few turkeys and rabbits before people started asking questions. 
So we all sat here, Sadie and Karen by my side at the table engrossed in their own conversation, but I was paying no mind to them or their chatter. 
My eyes drifted to the campfire and those sat around it, finally landing on him. Whiskey in had as he listened to Javier strum his guitar and uncle on his banjo. A few of the others sat around singing along. The flames in the centre lighting up his face just enough to see his still sour expression. That man works too hard and cares too much for his own good sometimes. 
He takes a sip from the whiskey bottle, the flames now illuminating along the length of his neck. The beer bottle in my hand momentarily forgotten, my fingers gracing up and down the neck absent-mindedly as I watched him. He’s a bear of a man, a Grizzly if I was to be specific. Large, imposing and with the ability to strike fear in the heart of any man with the growl in his voice. A brute when he needed to be but a gentle soul when he wanted to be. Like he was with me unless we both desired the former.
I watched as he nodded his head along with the song, then when he laughed at whatever Charles said to him. I watched as his eyes scanned the group around him before landing on me, giving a light smile as he found my eyes were on him already. A smile I gladly returned. 
His gaze didn't falter, so I decided to give him something more to keep his attention on me. 
With the girls still chatting away beside me, something about us girls needing to initiate a job or two and let the men lay back and relax while we took the reins for once, I placed my almost empty bottle across the table to draw his eyes to it. My fingers returning to the neck to delicately stroke up and down. 
My eyes flicked down to the bottle then back to him, giving off the sense that I was perhaps thirsty for something else. 
He straightened his posture as my hand gripped the neck and was that his breath I heard hitch from all the way over here?
I turned my attention back to the bottle, keeping the slow pace as I glided my hand to the base and then back up to the tip of the neck, tilting my head to the side as if the glass was deserving of the attention I was giving it. Allowing a few more glides when I glanced back at him through my lashes. His brows furrowed, he began to fidget where he was sat, a fire now burning in his eyes. But not burning hot enough...I accept the challenge. 
My eyes remained locked with his as I loosened my grip, my fingers returning to the neck, my thumb gracing the tip in circular motions. 
The light from the fire is just enough to see him gulp and the grip on his bottle so tight I was surprised it hadn’t shattered under the pressure.
With a sultry smile, I lift the bottle to my lips to take a drink, the warm liquid coating my throat barely even an afterthought.  
I lick my lips as I stare at the bottleneck and despite nothing being spilt, with another smile I press my tongue to the bottom of the neck, trailing it up to the tip. Well, it would be a shame to waste even a drop. 
I heard the footsteps before I could register that he even moved from his place by the fire. Not even bothering to approach he kept his eyes on me as he stormed his way towards the house. The fire in his eyes burning like the centre of a giant star, caving under pressure only to inevitably burst into a supernova.
Not long after he was out of sight I got up to follow, chugging the rest of the warm beer and discarding the bottle beside me. I made sure to take my time as I rounded the house and made my way up the steps to the building’s doors. Tucking back a few stray hairs and readjusting my dress shirt, undoing another button. The heat truly is getting to me tonight. 
The steps up to the second floor creaked under my weight, echoing in the otherwise quiet house.
His door was slightly ajar. The lantern and moonlight illuminating the space within just enough. 
I knocked not even waiting for a reply before I walked in. His back was turned, shoulders tensed as he looked out of the shattered window. The slight breeze it let in a welcoming one.
Opening my mouth to break the silence I was quickly hushed when he turned, taking two steps before he was above me, my back hitting the closed door with a resounding thud.
His laboured breaths fanning across my face as his hands came to rest on the door at either side of my head, caging me in. His eyes engulfed in lust and rage.
“You think ya bein’ funny, princess?” he growled. The deep vibrations in his voice sending a spark down my spine.
I kept my eyes locked on his, presenting an innocent smile “I’m afraid I don't know what you are talking about.” 
“Ya know very well. After the day I’ve had I don’t have the patience for your teasing.”
I smiled up at him again. I’ve won the race, but not the challenge.
His hand moved to the base of my neck, thumb tracing over my throat with a slight pressure that couldn’t be ignored.
“Mr Morgan…” I tilted my hips out to meet his. His desire evident, “...would I ever?”
His hands were on me in a flash, pulling me towards the table beside us. The boxes of ammunition swept to the floor in one movement before he was lifting me onto the surface, hands pulling my skirt till it was bunched up at my waist. He stood there between my open legs, palms burning into the supple flesh of my thighs as they travelled higher and higher. Eyes now fixed on the exposed skin below my clavicles. 
“Do ya have any idea what ya do to me?” His eyes moved to my neck, then my lips, before locking with my own. Our heightened breaths the only noise filling the space around us. 
That spark travelling down my spine now back with a vengeance, landing straight to my core with a jolt. 
I breathed deeply to steady my voice. 
Hand racing out for his belt to pull him forwards to feel just what he might be talking about. I wanted - needed - all of him. 
“Why don’t you show me?” I whispered, then his mouth was on my neck, biting, sucking, soothing. Leaving his mark. My head tilting back as a quiet moan escaped me.
His hands travelling further up my thighs as my hands hastily began to unbuckle his belt, the both of us unable to waste any more time.
Indeed I have won the challenge.
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stingro · 2 years
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uno main cast and food. like diets, food habits, favorite foods, hated foods, hot takes etc
Hokay let's go! Sorry this is so late, I've been preparing for Week 5 at uni AKA Hell Week.
John
Not a huge fan of extreme foods; generally goes for something pretty mild in flavor
He LOVES dousing eggs in seasoning though. But other than that, he's not gonna eat it if it has too much or too little flavor, unless it's necessary.
He likes homemade food more than restaurant food, and his favorite food is anything made by his dad.
He likes fruits a lot; his favorite is mango but he also likes pineapple.
He REALLY hates carrots and celery, so his dad used to mix them up so John couldn't see or taste them, thereby being unable to even pick them out.
His diet is actually...really bad. He can't cook too much. He has the diet of a university student (derogatory)
He doesn't eat candy often. I mean he likes it well enough, but doesn't go out of his way to buy any.
Seraphina
She has a huge sweet tooth. She likes all kinds of sweets. GIVE HER MANGO LASSI SHE LIKES IT
She is the opposite of John in that she hoards seasoning. She loves spice, she loves seasoning. She wouldn't eat a spoon of it, but despite her non-existent cooking skills, she has a lot of seasoning. Luckily, Elaine CAN cook so Seraphina lives her best life.
She prefers homemade food, but doesn't mind most restaurant food unless it's super small for astronomical prices. She finds it stupid.
She eats her veggies and fruits and she's pretty neutral on all of them. She has a preference for peas.
Her diet is decent; she can't exactly get rid of the "eat completely healthy" mindset bc she didn't grow up with a lot of sugar in the house, but she's not one of those health freaks that get all up in your face about not eating vegan. She eats what she wants.
Her favorite food is this chicken and mango sauce dish with rice.
Arlo
He cannot let go of the health thing completely.
To make up for it, he drinks at least 5 cups of black coffee a day.
(It's so bad that Remi bought multiple travel mugs for him so he can get coffee. This is coming from someone who has seen that in high school. I know how bad it is)
Again, doesn't like super heavy foods but doesn't necessarily complain if he gets it. He just...deals with it.
Both him and his dad are excellent cooks. Arlo could genuinely succeed as a chef if he wanted to. He's somewhat functional.
Hates sweets. Hates desserts unless it's not too sweet cake. Think Rin from Free!, who canonically dislikes sweets and will only eat dessert if it's mildly sweet.
He also dislikes toast that's too toasted. If it's too charred and crunchy, he will either slather on a bunch of cream cheese (chives and onion flavored obviously) or he will store it in a ziploc bag with some jam for Remi and make a new piece.
His diet is WAY better than John's but he's not as fit because he doesn't exercise much (he is canonically much less fit than John and out of all 6 main cast members, he is only more fit than Isen)
Remi
She and Elaine meal prep every week, so she actually eats well because of Elaine's persistence!
However, Elaine does most of the cooking (or Arlo when either of them are at each other's places) because Remi is one of the worst cooks ever. She shares this with Rei.
When I say worst cook I mean the burn water kind of worst cook She's really bad. She gets distracted and tends to take shortcuts, so that always backfires.
She loves sweets! She is good at baking and tends to adore strawberry mousses a lot.
When it comes to dinner, she eats a lot of rice. Her favorite dish is sushi, but only when the fish is cooked. She's particular about tuna.
She also adores hand foods like onigiri.
She gets her fruits and veggies; she's not nearly as bad as John but she's definitely worse than Seraphina.
There's a particular bakery in the mall she likes to go to; she loads up on stuff from there when she gets a chance to go. She would've gone to said bakery after watching the movie in episode ~45, but the ability gauger and the whole being arrested thing stopped her
Blyke
Definitely healthier than most people but not on the same level as Arlo. He's closer to Seraphina.
He eats a LOT of protein-based foods and has an affinity for lentils.
He doesn't really like salad, but he'll take it if necessary. He's not picky because he can eat almost anything. Iron stomach and whatnot.
He's classic; he likes a good burger and a shake. He prefers sitting down at a restaurant over homemade food, although his mom has great food. He's just used to restaurant food.
Not the best at cooking, but he can sustain himself.
Doesn't care for sweets or dessert, but will usually get dessert after a meal bc it feels like the right thing to do. Has a preference for ice cream.
He HATES HATES HATES carrots. Like, absolutely abhors them. So much so that he used to pick out the really tiny pieces of carrots from his food even when his mom got mad at him.
He doesn't drink coffee. He does, however, drink green tea.
Isen
Close to Remi in terms of diet, although usually has more instant noodles because he's always accidentally up due to either his research rabbit hole or his writing + homework.
He likes coffee or mocha-based sweets; chocolate + mocha is one of his favorite combos, especially dark chocolate.
He eats red meat but likes poultry more. He is allergic to shellfish so it's kind of a big issue when Remi's favorite food is sushi.
He drinks his milk. He likes chocolate milk and has a gallon in his fridge. He LOVES milk.
He eats pretty slowly because he's daydreaming a lot.
His favorite food is some kind of chicken-based dish, one of those pretty expensive ones since his family comes from old money.
However, out of the 3 in the Golden Trio, he is the best at cooking. Probably the 2nd best in the main cast after Arlo. He used to be home alone a lot bc his siblings are older and went to school in different places while his parents weren't home often due to work.
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dereksmcgrath · 3 years
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I had said before that the number 108 can be unlucky. It wasn’t unlucky at all for My Hero Academia: Vigilantes. But 108 is kind of unlucky for this episode: not only are we focusing on the Villains, but we just aren’t giving their story the structure and emotional weight it deserves.
(I either opened with those remarks or just made a bunch of corny jokes about how “Meta Liberation Army” can be abbreviated as MLA--and I’m saving those jokes for a future review.)
“My Villain Academia,” My Hero Academia Episode 108 (Season 5, Episode 20)
An adaptation of Chapters 220, 221, 222, 223, and 224 of the manga, by Kohei Horikoshi, translated by Caleb Cook with lettering by John Hunt and available from Viz.
My Hero Academia is available to stream on Crunchyroll and Funimation.
Spoilers up to My Hero Academia Chapter 325.
When I teach literature, I refer to the plot as a problem: it is something that the protagonist is trying to solve. This problem can take various forms, but it is often as an antagonist that the protagonist confronts. When this episode has the Doctor refer to a “villain” as someone “who turns nonsense into action,” that’s kind of the point: the villain is here to get the plot rolling. Without them, you don’t have a hero, you don’t have a story.
It has been long accepted by a lot of fans and scholars that superheroes tend to uphold the status quo. I think the first time I gained awareness of this popular argument--although likely not the first time I encountered it--was Dr. Horrible’s mangled remark that “the status is not quo.” More recently, however, I have been reading academic books on superheroes, and not only does that argument persist--that superheroes represent law, order, and upholding traditional norms even in the face of new evidence or out of sheer obliviousness to the need for systemic change--but the argument has become that, if a superhero story does not have the heroes doing something to effect systemic change, then it’s not a good story. I may be misunderstanding that argument, but if I don’t, then it’s not an argument I can stand behind.
The argument is that superhero stories tend to reduce complex issues to having avatars for each side of the issue--the good guy and the bad guy--get into a fight, where we are focused on the spectacle rather than on seeing actual people engaging in the actual work needed to address problems not on the individual level--again, one good guy physically fighting one bad guy--but on a larger scope.
I am oversimplifying this argument, as even those same scholars will point out that, initially, of course there were superhero stories that had the protagonist taking the fight against the system. Superman is one of the ones named most frequently, whether in his initial comic book premiere doing what police and media would not to face down a corrupt senator (a sign of things to come in his later fights with Luthor and in Justice League Unlimited) or fighting the Klan (in the meta sense, fighting their analogue on the radio show and, more recently, literally in the comics). It kind of makes Superman look like one influence on the Peerless Thief in My Hero Academia, but we’ll get to him far later in these episodic reviews.
Even with that exception of Superman, it’s not hard for me to agree with the argument that heroes prop up the status quo. That has been the plot point for My Hero Academia and why this war against the villains has been incoming: a system that depended on just All Might, now depending on a wife-beating abusive father like Endeavor with his crimes not popularly known, has a level of corruption that cannot stand up with just one man’s shining example of honest goodness and integrity to be the Symbol of Peace. It was why I appreciated the manga eventually showing that, yes, there was an entire network of assassins within the Hero Public Safety Commission to keep All Might’s hands clean--and, in retrospect, while Lady Nagant was our first named example, given what Hawks ends up doing to Twice, deadly force may be frowned upon by law in MHA but has to have been something Hawks was told he had legal authority to do. (Also, as I will never stop pointing out, Endeavor unintentionally and unknowingly killed another Pro Hero in Vigilantes, and we’re just supposed to pretend that was fine.)
But going back to this academic argument, about how superhero stories tend to stick to one-on-one battles and don’t let the heroes effect systematic change, I’m ambivalent. There have been a range of superhero or superhero-adjacent stories that have the protagonist making on-page, on-screen, obvious work to not just get into fisticuffs with the bad guy. I already pointed out Superman’s first appearance and his fight against the Klan. I can also identify other examples, some hamfisted like Captain Planet, others more nuanced like Korra reaching out to Kuvira in The Legend of Korra. While the scholarship I read bristles at the idea of reducing these fights to just avatars for good and evil, I shrug and say that kind of comes with the territory of a superhero story. I hate justifying tropes: it’s like saying “this fanservice is acceptable because that’s part of the genre”--which leads to its own set of problems, especially when I hear fools defending sexualized fanservice that is just not needed for the story and is abusive by gender and representation. Heck, The Brave and the Bold animated series had Equinox and Batman battle as giants representing the avatars of chaos and order--which is confusing enough, with Equinox having a vaguely yin-yang motif that debunks any clean separation between chaos and order. And yet, here I am, arguing that this kind of fanservice of a hero and a villain beating each other up is to be expected: you have a debate about ideals of what a hero should do when you see Iron Man and Captain America each representing a side in a fight, whether the poorly handled comic book Civil War or the better film version, and even then, that film also lets the individual personalities get in the way of saying anything meaningful about government oversight and individual agency, ideas better handled in that other Captain America film, The Winter Soldier, and even then that film also gets stuck in just being about Steve and Bucky’s relationship.
All of this is me saying that, when you add a superhero to the fight, you’re going to feel disappointed that almost nothing systematically changes in its setting, not only because, as I’m hinting, these are stories about individuals fighting each other and not stories about the individual against society or nature, but also because a superhero can only change so much of their world for the better before that world no longer looks like our own or a new societal problem has to emerge to create the problem that is the plot itself for wherever the story goes next. Once a hero makes the setting into a utopia, either a new problem emerges to show the fiction of that story and that a dystopia is always married to a utopia, or the utopia is revealed to be hollow (Shigaraki’s word of the day) and fake. My Hero Academia already showed the utopia of a world where people get to live with their Quirks is fake, not only by (largely necessary) regulation of those Quirks but also, as we’ll see more with Spinner, Compress, Toga, Gigantomachia, and others, looking different, or being socially aware, or having disabilities, or being the “wrong” size, excluded you from that society.
What I’m trying to say is that, once you add superheroes into a story to fix the problem, you can’t show what systematic change looks like. How do you write a story where it makes sense that no hero came to save Tenko Shimura from becoming Tomura Shigaraki? What’s a story like My Hero Academia supposed to do to show the problems with a society, if you have superheroes who can fix those problems by beating up the bad guys?
Solution: You have the bad guys beat each other up.
In this corner, the League of Villains, people who were made outcasts because they did not fit in--which reveals the flaws of a society that is not accepting people who may not be able to change their past or their bodily conditions.
And in this corner, the Meta Liberation Army--which reveals how society breeds people in business, media, and politics who abuse laws and societal norms to elevate themselves and create a social Darwinist nightmare.
Granted, these are some foolish schmucks for starting up this fight in public, but I’ll address how the MLA just doesn’t work in a later episode review.
But for now, let the fight begin. No matter who wins, at least we see how society at large allowed these Villains to emerge--and we can either see All For One’s dictatorial forces get wrecked, or see Re-Destro’s fascistic oafs get wrecked.
Unfortunately, no matter who wins, the Pro Heroes are going to lose, too.
I am overly impressed with myself for realizing all of this. And I say “overly” not only because this is arrogant of me but also because I’m pretty sure just about every other person following this series already came to this conclusion: if you want to show actual systematic change, you have to show what the villains are up to, because they are the ones showing the holes in our society that need to be fixed. Either a villain exploits those holes to cause damage to people, or the villain is themselves representative of unfairness in the system and, by breaking the law to save themselves and others, are unfairly maligned as villains.
That being said, I’m not a big fan of the “[Insert villain’s name here] was right” arguments. Yes, Magneto is justified in his goals and ethics, and the debate is the means he takes to them, so his existence is to show why the X-Men are screwing up and need to be more radical. Yes, Killmonger is right that Wakanda’s isolationism is reckless and allows for travesties to persist, but his choices are largely out of individual desire for vengeance, so he’s an example that T’Challa can follow. Taken too far, though, and you get people who preach anti-establishment notions without having an alternative or are just trying to sound edgy rather than actually pointing to the actual problem: it’s someone who celebrates the Joker without recognizing that, no, you don’t want to be that asshole, or who celebrate villain-turned-hero Vegeta just because he looks cool and without appreciating what steps he took to change and what fall he experienced before he got to the point of being a villain.
In all these cases, if done poorly, you have the same tired trend of a villain existing only so long so that the hero changes for the better. It’s as tiresome as I unfortunately sometimes feel reading post after post celebrating how complex and sympathetic the League of Villains’ members can be when, still, a lot of them are just assholes using empty excuses to defend atrocious behavior (primarily, just All for One) or, for the most part, are people put into desperate situations (Shigaraki, Toga, Spinner, Dabi, Twice) who are doing the best they can (Twice, Spinner) even if their actions are not defensible (Toga) or also out of line (Shigaraki) due to their own refusal to seek the legitimate help they need to work through their issues (Dabi).
It’s hard to read posts online calling the League members sympathetic when we have not had a chance in the anime to know their full story. And as with the slow revelation that this setting is not really as welcoming of people of all shapes and sizes as initially hinted, so too do the villains’ backstories show that they were justified in some actions they took, except for those that led to deaths. Too bad none of that really pops up in a meaningful way in this episode that would rather tease out Shigaraki’s back story, keep dangling the obvious answer to who Dabi really is, and short-sells what should be a meaningful friendship between Twice and Giran but is just dropped as fast as Shigaraki takes off Twice’s mask. Jeez, Shigaraki, that is a dick move to Twice…
But I’m already on Page 4 of this rant, so let’s get to the episode already.
Pulling back the curtain yet again, these reviews tend to follow a pattern. Since I first wrote about the MHA anime, my process would be to first re-read the chapters, then watch the episode in Japanese, then watch the episode in English, so as to retrace my steps in how I first encountered most of these stories, as well as to see any patterns in the production process moving from manga to anime to localization. But with this episode, that practice was made nearly impossible given how prevalent the hostility towards this episode, this arc, and this season have been, especially when a friend shared numerous reactions from other viewers about this episode. Seriously, for all the whining I just did the previous four pages, you could read this person or this person who are much better at explaining why the introduction of Re-Destro to the anime sucks, for more than one reason.
So, I had a different approach: I already had the flaws to this episode shared with me by other viewers, then I listened to the English dub, then I re-read the chapters, then I watched the Japanese dub with English subtitles.
And, boy, am I grateful I took that approach, because this episode is a ton of talking--too much talking. For an anime adaptation that cut so much of Spinner’s Leonardo from Ninja Turtles narration, I’m shocked that they kept the boring parts of his narration and cut the only good parts, including the very opening that had a lot more action and gave us a reason to sympathize with these Villains.
I know I’m a snob regarding animation; I have expressed before how, despite my love for animated works, I tend to appreciate them more for what they do with storytelling rather than the spectacle of the visuals. I really dislike works where the value of the work is in the animation alone: I am here to see a story unfold, and if there is no narrative, no plot, no beginning-middle-and-end, then what I’m encountering is a museum piece, not a work of cinema. (Feel free to bash me for that hot take: I’m still railing against Patty Jenkins’s ridiculous argument from this week.)
And as with most forms of karmic punishment I experience, I pay the price: if I rail long enough about works that are only all about the animation and not the story, then my punishment is an episode where all we get is a lot of story and not much in the way of animation. Yet I can’t even say we got a story here, so much as back story, exposition, needless narration--it’s Blade Runner only bad. As much as I have loved how this anime’s storyboards stick so close to the manga panels, the pan over the League listening to Shigaraki’s vague back story felt like the least interesting way to handle this scene, especially when it excises so much of Spinner coming around from questioning Shigaraki to sympathizing with him. Who would have imagined cutting so much of Spinner’s initial narration and the opening from Chapter 220 would screw up how to adapt Shigaraki’s back story from Chapter 222.
The anime cuts how this arc begins in the manga: Chapter 220 starts with Spinner facing off against an extremist group that hates him for his reptilian appearance--a moment that would have garnered more sympathy from the audience for these Villains than this episode is exhorting. We needed a scene to get behind these villains and agree with them, before we are shocked to hear Shigaraki say what we have long expected, that he just wants to destroy everything and make everyone as miserable as he has felt, to wake us up that, no, you may sympathize with these outcasts (to use Twice’s one-word self-description), but you shouldn’t agree with Shigaraki’s goals. (I know Shigaraki relents somewhat when asked by Toga, but it’s hard to backtrack from “destroy it all” to “destroy it all but not the stuff my friends like.” How on Earth is Shigaraki going to destroy Izuku when Spinner somewhat admires the guy and Toga...well, yeah, best left unsaid.)
While watching this episode, I also was reviewing other topics about anime and manga I’m going to go into more detail about later this month, and one topic of discussion is the assumption that anime and manga, by their visual style and story tropes, especially shojo and shonen, tend to be about big expressions--emotional outpours in words, movements, facial expressions, and actions to more easily communicate what is happening, regardless of context.
I hate to keep repeating “ambivalent” in my reviews (another academic word I need to expunge from my lexicon for a bit), but I’m ambivalent about that argument, that anime and manga, especially shojo and shonen, are better at communicating. If your character is unreadable, that likely has an intentional reason: we don’t get much of a read on the Doctor in this episode, not helped by his mustache and glasses, but we also don’t get a read on what Shigaraki is up to.
This episode only heightens my regard, not just about anime, manga, shojo, or shonen, but in animation and comics at large, that not everything is readable in what a character is planning.
On the one hand, I do agree that visual works tend to make ideas easier to comprehend for some people who can engage with such visual works. As someone who teaches English literature and writing in a United States setting, I use comics in my teaching to cross language and cultural barriers, especially for students for whom English is not their primary language or who are the first in their family raised in the United States. And this teaching approach also helps in reverse: I include manga and anime in my teaching to show how not all details cross language and cultural barriers in a one-to-one correspondence, hence the challenges of translation and localization, and how all of us struggle to make ourselves understood within our own primary language to someone else who is fluent in that language, let alone trying to translate into another language or to present ourselves in a different set of cultural norms.
On the other hand, anime and manga are not a fixed genre. Yes, I agree that the images tend to emphasize big eyes, big expressions, and big motions--but that’s like saying all animation is Looney Tunes, or all animation is Disney, or is Dragon Ball, and so on. Likewise, as I’ve discussed elsewhere, shonen is more than just one type of storytelling, and the same goes for shojo. This arc of My Hero Academia is placing focus, after admittedly far too long, on the Villains as the protagonists--and their behavior pokes holes in the idea that things are obvious, when the Villains are themselves such liars, so crafty, have their own hidden agendas, are keeping secrets from each other. It’s as if their behavior is a commentary on this plot and how BONES is adapting it: the Villains are keeping secrets, so this plot is going to keep its secrets for just who Re-Destro and the Meta Liberation Army are, what their personalities are like, and what Shigaraki and the Doctor have in mind for getting what he wants. We’re even kept in the dark as to Shigaraki’s full back story; we’re in the same position he is, knowing just little bits and able to make assumptions from a handful of visual cues and memories, without fully knowing who the hell Tenko is. Add to that Spinner’s struggles to narrate all of this and to get into Toga’s mind and Shigaraki’s mind, as well as Dabi’s own secrets and agenda with Hawks, and we have a story that blows up the notion that anime and manga are easier for reading a character’s mindset: no, they are not always easier, not when the creators deliberately mislead the audience or keep them in the dark for a surprise.
By keeping so much of the audience in the dark, so that we become aware of how deceitful villains can be, and we are put into Shigaraki’s place of not knowing where he came from. This should be a set of brilliant choices by BONES to adapt this arc in this manner. But the problem is, no, almost none of this gets anywhere close to brilliant. It’s not brilliant--it’s frustrating, because we already know what is going to happen. You can just pull up the manga at low cost with a Viz account and read all of this in the order it was originally presented and get the answers ahead of time. And if you’ve been reading the manga all along, you already know how this arc ends, and you know stuff from the next set of arcs so that you do know already what Shigaraki’s back story is, what Dabi was really up to, who survives, who dies. You even learn more about Compress’s back story--stuff that really should have been hinted at much earlier in the manga, and could have been hinted in this adaptation but as of this episode has not.
Maybe that is why the anime removes Re-Destro murdering his assistant: it’s such an odd moment that it is challenging for me to get a read on Re-Destro, as he alternates in the manga between being very friendly and devoted to his comrades but also violent and heartless.
It may be obvious that I didn’t like much of this episode. I think when I stopped taking this episode seriously was when I heard the voices. Like I said, I tend to start with the Japanese dub first before getting to the English dub. And I have nothing at all against English dubs: I would not be listening to them as much as I have, often first before I ever hear the Japanese, and I would not be a fan of so many English-speaking actors in dubs if I had any animosity to the craft, their work, and the benefit they provide for creating a larger audience for these stories. And nothing against Larry Brantley and Sonny Strait, but some of this casting feels off. I wasn’t able to take this episode seriously as soon as I heard the voice distortion that was used for Re-Destro’s phone call: that took me out of the story. If I had the chance for localization, I would really need Twice or someone to call out how freaking ridiculous that Mickey Mouse voice sounded. You have freaking Sonny Strait here: use the Krillin voice, use the Chibi Ragnarok voice, use the Usopp voice--use something, really go bizarre here, it’s just a voice distortion device! And as I said, nothing against Strait, but when I hear Re-Destro when I read the manga, that’s not the voice I have in mind. For right now, HIroaki Hirata in the Japanese dub is closer to that smoothness I expected for this character. But I have no doubt Strait will do excellent as Re-Destro’s empowered form: think Strait’s role in The Intruder II from Toonami. It’s just that Re-Destro in the English dub is lacking that odd refinement I was expecting.
Granted, it’s the same problem for me when I hear Brantley as Spinner: I am making unfair assumptions that don’t suit the goals of the creators when it comes to this character. It is sadly not as obvious in this episode as it is in the manga: this arc in the manga starts with Horikoshi invoking Laird and Eastman’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles by having Spinner, who is already a sword-wielding reptilian martial artist, narrating just like how Leonardo narrating at the beginning of the very first issue of TMNT. I wanted a voice for the English dub that is like Leonardo’s, a little higher pitch and more youthful, like what Brian Tochi brought in the live-action Turtles film or what Cam Clarke and Michael Sinterniklaas bring in the animated versions. I think, for the Japanese dub, Ryo Iwasaki’s performance as Spinner is very close to what I expected. But that also may seem too obvious: Spinner may be young, but giving him an older-sounding voice can belie his inexperience, youthfulness, and naivete, similar to how people make assumptions about him by his reptilian appearance. The anime is putting me into my place--I think of Spinner one way other than who he really is, so I’m no better than the people around him who have discriminated against him for his physical appearance.
Just as I have a set of assumptions that unfairly influence how I would cast Spinner, I also think Re-Destro should have sounded more refined and less graveley in the English dub. But my expectations belie that, just the Joker whom he resembles, Re-Destro puts on this cultured facade to hide that he is just another violent gangster thug, someone who would kill his own assistant. I know I cited examples above about how complex Re-Destro is, but it’s hard for me to see him as sympathetic just because he’s crying over something he did out of his own volition: he coldly killed his office assistant Miyashita, his tears and kind words don’t suddenly make this a warm and cuddly death, we don’t get to think of him as our woobie. It only makes it more irritating that BONES so far has cut not only that scene of Re-Destro killing Miyashita but also Re-Destro’s TV commercial: it would clue us in that the reason he has that gravelly voice is because, no matter how much he tries to present himself on TV, he is not that kind of a man.
But since I invoked the Joker comparison to Re-Destro, yeah, I’m disappointed we didn’t get Troy Baker as Re-Destro, as unlikely as I imagine that would be to happen, regardless of Baker’s previous work with Funimation. It does lend a bit more to conspiracy theories on my part, though, given casting director Colleen Clinkenbeard telling Twitter followers to stop expecting Mark Hamill in MHA, it’s never happening--we can’t even get Troy Baker doing his Mark Hamill Joker.
(I’m not being fair to Baker: I’m not saying his Joker is at all bad--it is not, he has been excellent as Joker, especially playing him and Batman in the Ninja Turtles crossover film, but it is obvious Baker is performing the kind of Joker that came out of Hamill, so I’m trying to say he’s doing the “Hamill Joker,” rather than the “Nicholson Joker,” the “Ledger Joker,” or the “Caesar Romero Joker”).
It’s also a challenge to sympathize with these characters when we aren’t getting what this arc should give them: a re-introduction. I hate approaching this episode in a post-James Gunn The Suicide Squad world, but seeing how much MHA owes to not The Suicide Squad of the comics but that motif in so many superhero comics, there is that missed opportunity to reacquaint the audience with who are the members of the League of Villains. So, where the hell is my freeze-frame re-introduction to each League member? There was that fan theory a long time ago that Giran was really Present Mic in disguise: imagine doing Present Mic’s introduction of characters by name, Quirk, and pithy comment, only it’s Giran in the announcer seat this time.
(Don’t even get me started on how annoying it is to have Izuku handling the post-credit preview: give that to Spinner.)
Again, maybe it is brilliant for BONES not to include some re-introduction scenes, whether narrated by Giran or happening naturally in conversation between these characters. These Villains barely know each other’s back story, so there’s no artifice where they would believably share their back stories to each other in conversation in this context. And as I said, Shigaraki does not know enough about his own past, and Dabi is hiding his real identity. But when we’re stuck with Spinner as our half-hearted narrator, who seems not to know why he and Toga are still here with Stain being gone, and when Toga is this dull in her answer about what keeps her going after Stain’s arrest, and when Spinner himself seems not to know what he’s still doing here, all of that does not communicate a reason for us to keep going with this story.
I know this arc is going to get better, storywise at least, just based on how it went in the manga. I can only hope that the animation can capture the chaos that the original manga illustrations showed. But I am trying to think what a new viewer is going to do if this is their introduction to this series. I’m not invoking the Episode 7 Rule, I’m not doing a hypothetical experiment to gauge which episodes are the best to bring a newbie into this series--I am asking, honestly, if a fan was already into this series, and was watching it one Saturday morning, and a friend or roommate or relative saw them watching, they would be utterly lost about why they should care about this. Even the explanation for why Twice is indebted to Giran is presented as such an afterthought that does disservice to a potentially emotional moment, to what is supposed to be a pretty deep friendship, as deep as it can be for a weapons trader like Giran and an outcast-turned-criminal like Twice, so that, when Twice helps rescue Giran, we feel that emotional payoff.
It is honestly shocking that, for all the throwbacks, recaps, and flashbacks we get, including how Giran’s fingers match up to previous places where the League fought, that this still leaves a new viewer in the dark. And the problem lies at the feet of MHA arriving at a fifth-season slump: the series has gone on so long that things feel lazy and making far too many assumptions on what knowledge the audience is bringing. You’re not getting a bigger audience if you keep appealing to the diehard fans and the people reading the manga. After all, why would you keep doing ridiculous recaps and flashbacks if the fans already know what happened?
But speaking of the recaps and flashbacks, that should have been how this episode redeemed itself. As I said last time, if you re-worked the order of episodes to start with the Oboro Shirakumo story, that would be more shocking. But what if this episode could have been the very first episode of the season, and following the trend of previous seasons, make it a recap episode? We already had Izuku narrating a clip show, Class 1A at the pool, a photojournalist visiting the UA Dorms--it would be so much more interesting seeing “League of Villains camping in the woods while in the background Shigaraki gets squished by a giant.” Have the Villains tell campfire stories about how they got here: it would be a great excuse to re-use the animation and save on the budget. You could fit in a few gags, as Toga starts telling a really gruesome story but gets distracted by all the blood in it, while Twice’s story bounces between sugar-sweet happy and grim-and-dark chaos, while Compress and Spinner are stuck trying to keep them focused. It’d be a hell of a lot more interesting than how BONES somehow screwed up a potentially emotional volatile moment between Izuku and Amajiki that would put into question whether Izuku is going to have to kill a Villain and just how devastated Amajiki feels after Mirio lost his Quirk.
And speaking of whether Izuku is going to have to kill a Villain: obviously, this arc is setting up how much more dangerous Shigaraki is than UA gave him credit. Back in Season 2, I hated how Nezu and UA staff referred to him as a “man-child,” given the connotations that have surrounded masculinity and being a man. I wrote that before 2016; in this post-2016 atmosphere, and the increased prevalence of toxic masculinity, I am, once again, that annoying word ambivalent. I am likewise ambivalent how well this series has shown Shigaraki to be able to form the plan he does by episode’s end. We’re only told by Spinner how much faster Shigaraki is getting and how much slower Gigantomachia has become--but the animation doesn’t show that. And we’re being told how great Shigaraki’s plan is--when it sounds ridiculous.
By cutting so much of Spinner’s narration from the manga, we also don’t get a scene where Spinner confronts Shigaraki to ask him what is his plan. Up to that point, Shigaraki has said that, with Kurogiri gone over the last month and the computers at the old League hideout destroyed, they can’t reach the Doctor. Spinner is insistent: what is the plan? Shigaraki responds that he just told them--as Gigantomachia crashes through their hideout. The other characters explain for readers like me who aren’t following: Shigaraki just said Kurogiri was gone; to contact the Doctor, Kurogiri sought Gigantomachia; Gigantomachia would sniff out where Shigaraki is and bring him to the Doctor. Brilliant--that shows more attention to Shigaraki’s planning and scheming, and now, it’s not even here in the episode to make me think this guy is that smart. (This episode also had Shigaraki reveal his plan to have Gigantomachia attack the MLA, whereas it was Spinner who predicted that was going to be Shigaraki’s plan--so, again, we’re not letting Spinner stand out as smarter than we expected, either.)
I know Shigaraki is supposed to be our chessmaster, given his association with gaming, especially when he was faking his ignorance about shogi to lower Overhaul’s guard before defeating him and stealing his Quirk-cancelling bullets. But I’m having the same problem I had when following All For One throughout this anime: it just feels like these two antagonists are getting ahead out of sheer luck and because everyone else is a fool, not because either of them are that great as villains. Give me a Xanatos, give me a Luthor, give me a Norman Osborne (not Clone Saga Osborne, a different one). Show me Shigaraki is more than a pawn for All For One and the Doctor, because I don’t feel anything here, not even when we’re supposed to feel that Shigaraki has some legitimate concern for All For One that just isn’t getting communicated to me, whether by my stubbornness or because the content is not giving the animators and actors what they deserve. Eric Vale can sell the hell out of a scene, but Shigaraki’s talk about All For One is not giving that opportunity to the actor.
My remarks this time are a lot more disorganized and doesn’t really arrive at any conclusion. I have more to say about how this arc works and doesn’t work, especially when it comes to how ridiculous the MLA comes across in underestimating the League, but we’ll get to that next time.
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obxcunt · 4 years
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Rafe Cameron x Pogue Reader.
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A/N: First of all, this is probably trash, i’m really sorry and i’m insecure about my writing hehe. Anyway, Rafe is the cocky asshole and Y/N the horny Pogue, enemies to lovers vibes, classic. And this is their story or more specifically: How they ended up together.
Warning: Light Smut, Sexual tension, Fluff, Light Angst, idk mention of Ward Cameron and John B? Sounds like a warning to me, you might feel the need to throw your panties at Drew afterwards?
Words: 5K
You started working at the country club this summer, which is where you “met” Rafe Cameron. But it wasn’t really the first time, as a Pogue you were already aware of the Kook’s bad reputation. However, this is when things unexpectedly started to change between the two of you.
At first, you tried to avoid him and his friends as much as possible: which caught Rafe’s attention and intrigued him. You were annoyed by his cocky attitude, vulgarity and poor comments regarding your lifestyle and friends but you couldn’t deny his charm.
One day, after another sexist comment from Topper, you decided to call him out in front of everyone, flipping him off on your way back to the bar as well. And your sudden bold attitude picked Rafe’s interest, leaving the Kook boy wordless and turning him on at the same time.
That’s when Rafe started to come to the club by himself without telling anyone, wanting to admire you in peace. He was obsessed with your work uniform, with the way your short tennis skirt always exposed your legs to him. He couldn’t stop picturing himself caressing your beautiful thighs, his mind going wild at the thought of you sitting on his lap.
Rafe didn’t know how to handle his new feelings towards you, especially the most sinful ones. He wasn’t used to rejection, usually women are the ones coming up to him. But you weren’t one of them, you were mostly ignoring him, torturing the Kook boy through the act. You guys were supposed to be enemies, but deep down, Rafe hoped you didn’t hate him.
On the other hand, you tried to not pay attention to the cocky Kook boy. But today, you knew something was going on due to Rafe’s lack of discretion. You could feel his blue eyes devouring you from across the room as you walked by. He was sitting at his usual table with his friends, drinking in silence and ignoring their conversation, too busy looking at you with intensity: the persistence making you blush uncontrollably. And right now, as Rafe licked his lips: tasting the sweet alcohol he just drank. He smirked to himself, wondering how you’d taste.
You left the room, followed by the Kook boy. “What do you want, Cameron?” You asked harshly, noticing his presence as you both walked to the exit. You were craving fresh-air, your cheeks still burning from his last action. “Do you have plans for tonight?” He asked back, opening the door for you, your eyes lingering on his bicep as he held it. “Why—“ You paused, waving at some customers coming in as you both stood next to the entrance. “I’m not interested.” Rafe laughed, grabbing your wrist as you tried to walk out. “Wait,“ He turned you around, gently pushing you against the wall, not caring about the people looking at the two of you. “One date, one chance.” “I don’t understand, you—“ You licked your lips, trying to ignore the warm feeling invading your body as he looked down at your lips. “This is literally our first real conversation, the insults and shitty comments you usually throw at me don’t count. And now, after all, you want to take me on a date? Why? I’m not a dirty Pogue anymore?” He shrugged his shoulders, playing it cool while he was freaking out on the inside, scared to get rejected by you. “I— I don’t know. You seem like a cool girl.” You raised a brow, then rolled your eyes at him. “If this is some kind of bet—“ “No! It’s not— Y/N, trust me it’s not. I’m not very good at this…” You sighed, a bit intrigued by his offer. “Fine, I'm giving you one chance, Cameron.”
Surprisingly, he wasn’t playing with you: preparing a whole pic-nic on the beach by himself, with a few candles and pillows laying on the duvet he had placed on the sand. “Wow, this is actually really nice.” You said, sitting down next to the nervous boy. Rafe smirked, admiring your features glowing under the sunset’s light. He couldn’t tell, but you were trying your best to not look at him, guilt washing you over as soon as you started thinking he looked hot tonight. You weren’t supposed to feel this way. “Don’t look at me like that.” You said, looking at the horizon. “I— I wasn’t,” You chuckled. “I can’t help it.” He admitted, swallowing hard as you looked back at him. “Did you tell your friends about our date?” He asked. “Of course not, and you didn’t say anything to yours either, right?” He shook his head, making you laugh. “I don’t even understand what I'm doing here.” “Stop pretending you’re not attracted to me,” You laughed nervously. “I know you feel it too.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You lied, your cheeks heating up under his intense gaze once again. “Listen, i’m sorry for the— everything.” “Rafe Cameron, apologizing,” You smiled at the irony. “That’s very unexpected. Is that your way to get into my pants, Cameron?” The Kook boy coughed, drinking a few sips of his beer to cool down. “I— No.” He said, shaking his head. “You don’t want to have sex with me?” His eyes widened at the question. “Yes, I mean— No.” He groaned, while you simply laughed at his frustration. His eyes went down your thighs, those thighs. “Cameron… Don’t.” You warned, his eyes meeting yours and finding a sudden touch of desire in them. “God—“ You groaned, pulling on your skirt with embarrassment. “This is so weird.” He slowly leaned his head towards yours. “I wanna touch you, so bad.” He murmured, his lips dangerously close to yours. You surprised yourself by briefly looking at his own, secretly wanting to taste them. “I—“ You paused, goosebumps now covering your skin as you felt his fingers wandering along your thigh. You looked down, enjoying the sight of his large hand resting on your thigh. “You want it.” He said, clearly amused by your reaction to his touch. “Wh— What? No!” You objected, smacking his hand away in panic. “But—“ “I— I wanna go home!” You blurted out, getting up and walking away from a very confused Rafe Cameron. Truth is, you wanted this as much as he did but you couldn’t lose your composure, not with him.
A few days passed since your catastrophic date with Rafe. And he’s been avoiding the country club since then, which annoyed you way more than it should’ve had. You ended up missing seeing him, searching for the tall boy’s silhouette everywhere at the club, to only find a void eating you alive. The Pogues knew something was wrong: noticing your silence, how much you were lost in your thoughts and the certain sadness occupying your gaze. You blamed it all on insomnia, too scared to admit your attraction to Rafe Cameron, their enemy.
You saw him again at Midsummers, finally. You were working with your friends that night, not expecting to see him walking in with his family, and a beautiful woman at his arm. You weren’t supposed to feel jealous, but couldn’t help it. He looked at you for the first time in a week, his deep blue eyes not leaving you as he kissed his date on the cheek at, asshole. “Is everything alright, Y/N?” Pope asked, walking up to you. “Yes...” You mumbled, faking a smile. “I— I need to use the bathroom, i’ll be right back.” He nodded, watching you leave, catching the Kook boy’s eyes following you through the crowd.
Once you were inside, you let out a sigh, both hands holding on the edges of the sink as you enjoyed the silence. Rafe ended up following you to the bathroom, a bit worried. He knocked on the door without introducing himself, forcing you to move back to it. “What are you doing here?” You asked, looking at the tall boy standing on the doorstep. “I saw you leaving and—“ You snorted, interrupting him. “Shouldn’t you be with your date, Cameron?” He smirked, sensing the bitterness in your question. “Jealous, Y/N?” He briefly looked behind him, examining the empty hallway, before pushing you back inside as he walked in. He closed the door and locked it, without breaking eye-contact. “I’m not jealous.” You lied, taking a better look at his appearance. He looked sensational in his baby-blue suit, your curiosity wondering how his muscles looked underneath it. “You’re the one who rejected me, remember?” He continued, leaning against the door, repulsing the urge to touch you. “Because all of this doesn’t make any sense!” You snapped out of frustration, scratching your head. “W— We are not supposed to do this, we are not supposed to feel this way.” He licked his lips, walking up to you. “We?” You rolled your eyes at his usual cockiness, crossing your arms. “Did you miss me, Y/N?” He asked, caressing your cheekbone with his thumb, going down your bottom lip as he held your chin with his fingers: the action sending shivers down your spin. You fluttered your eyes, enjoying the feeling. “Look at you, getting weak under my touch.” You opened your eyes, annoyed. “Fuck you.” You hissed, hitting his toned chest, both hands finding their way to his neck. “I will.” He said, pushing against the wall, making you whine. “Rafe—“ He slammed his lips against yours in a passionate kiss, the both of you fighting for dominance with your tongues as he kept his hands on your hips, pulling you closer to him. You were finally tasting them, tasting him: and it was even better than you had imagined it. “Fuck—“ He moaned against your lips, the both of you craving way more than a kiss, the both of you needing to feel the void. “Jump, baby.” He ordered in a whisper, kissing your jawline as he smacked your ass. You obeyed, wrapping your legs around his clothed body and letting the Kook boy carry you to the sink counter. Your hands went directly to his belt, a soft moan escaping your lips as Rafe licked your neck, leaving wet kisses all over skin. “Listen to me,” He said, grabbing your jaw to look at you in the eyes, your neediness driving him insane. “We’re gonna have to make it quick, alright?” You nodded, blushing as you felt your stomach twitch at the sound of his voice. “Good girl.” You moaned at his words, watching him unbuttoning your blouse. You had sex with Rafe Cameron for the first time that night, but it wouldn’t be the last.
The next day, you didn’t know what to expect from him. However, you were both eager to see each other again. You saw him during the day, while walking down the stairs to meet someone at the bar. A sudden shyness invaded you, your cheeks heating up at the thought of him: pulling on your hair, calling you his, choking you, controlling your body, cumming inside you. He noticed you, following you in the hallway and gently grabbing your wrist to turn you around, a devilish smirk on his face. “Hey, you come here often?” He asked, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. “Rafe…” You laughed, admiring the few marks on his neck. “Last night—“ “Last night was fucking amazing.” You smirked, biting your lower lip. “Yeah, maybe we should do it again someday.” You said. “Yeah, maybe we should…” You hummed, getting lost in his blue eyes, ignoring the noises surrounding the two of you. Last night, Rafe made you feel alive, and you were already dying to feel it again, no matter how inappropriate it was. You sighed, grabbing the tall boy’s face, pulling him in a heated kiss, listening to your heart rather than your head. You both pulled away, out of breath and turned on. “The closet?” Rafe suggested, driven by lust. “Please.”
And it happened again, again and again. You decided to stop counting at some point, enjoying each time like it was the last one. You guys were having sex everywhere, at any time of the day and night, it felt like an addiction: at the country club, at parties (which was dangerous), at his house (in his room, the shower, the pool, his dad’s office) and yours, in the back of his truck or even on the beach. You both liked it rough, but sometimes it turned into soft-love making: “What’s wrong, Rafe?” You asked, coming out of the bathroom and noticing the crying boy sitting on your bed. “What happened?” You walked up to him, kneeling down between his legs. “Hey, look at me.” You said, cupping his face and wiping the tears away with your thumbs. “My dad he’s—“ He paused, his voice cracking. “It’s okay, Rafe...” You whispered, leaning your forehead against his, sitting on his lap. “You’re safe here.” You reassured him, kissing his forehead. Rafe hugged you tight, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. “Do you want anything?” He looked up, sniffing with a sad smile. “You.” He murmured, the confession making you smile.
He held you the whole time, needing to feel you close to him as much as possible because you were the one making him feel safe and loved. His lips barely left yours, moaning and whispering the sweetest words against it. He looked at you in the eyes, pounding into you at a slower pace, smiling wide as you begged the Kook boy for more. He couldn’t stop admiring the beautiful girl underneath him: scratching his back with fierceness, crying in pleasure and screaming for him and only him. He really wanted this moment to last forever, and for the first time he didn’t leave afterwards, letting you fall asleep in his strong arms, holding you close to his heart: where you definitely belonged.
The Pogues knew you were seeing someone: you were constantly on your phone, ditching plans without explanation and quite often wearing bruises around your neck. However, Rafe wasn’t your boyfriend, yet. You both really liked each other, but didn’t know how to express it: your hookups sessions were turning into something more, which seemed a bit scary to you at times. Truth is, even though you both agreed on keeping this as a secret, you really wanted to talk about it to someone, craving advice and reassurance. And it seemed like the universe had heard your prayers, as Sarah caught the two of you having sex in your kitchen the other night.
“Rafe...“ You moaned, bent over the counter. “Fuck— I missed you so much.” He groaned at your words, pulling on your hair as he roughly pounded into you from behind. “Shit— Pretty girl.” You cried, gripping on the edges for dear life. “This is what you get,“ He smacked your ass. “For flirting with a guy in front of me.” “I— I wasn’t flirting with him!” You gasped, his arms pulling you back against his sweaty chest, his lips sucking on your neck as he pounded deeper into you through the new angle. “Shut up.” “Fuck, Rafe—“ He smiled against your skin, loving the power he had on you. “You’re taking me so well, baby. Look at you, getting fucked in the kitchen. You like that, huh?” You cried at his words, your hands holding on his arms for support. “Cum for me.” He murmured, hitting your g-spot, your legs shaking at the impact. You were about to, until someone arrived in the kitchen: Sarah, holding your backpack in hands. “Y/N, you forgot your—“ She paused, screaming in horror at the sight of the two of you: breathless, moaning mess. “Shit— Sarah!” You tried to call her, but she threw the backpack on the floor before running towards the front door. “Well, it was obviously going to happen at some point.” Rafe said, pulling out of you and putting his pants on. “I told you to lock the door.” You hissed, grabbing your dress off the ground. Rafe looked at you, noticing the panic submerging you as you struggled. “Hey, hey, hey,” He whispered, gently cupping your face. “Look at me, Y/N. It’s fine, don’t worry.” You pushed him away, dressing up in a rush. “This is not okay— I’ve been lying to my friends for weeks, they’re gonna be so—“ Rafe turned you around, pulling you against him. “You need to calm down, okay? I’m sure they’ll understand, and it’s actually none of their business.” You sighed, kissing his bare chest, your arms wrapping themselves around him. “I’ll stay with you, if you want.” He said, kissing the top of your head. “So… About what we were doing ten minutes ago.” He continued with a smirk, squeezing your ass. “Get out of my house, Cameron.” You said, playfully pushing the Kook boy away. “Your little sister just caught us having sex.”
Rafe dragged you inside his house, holding your hand. “Come on, Y/N.” He said, kissing your temple. “Stay in the perimeter, in case she tries to kill me.” You whispered, glancing at his blond sister walking in the kitchen. Rafe laughed, placing a soft kiss on your lips before letting go of your hand. You sighed, walking inside the quiet room, looking at your friend sitting down at the table with a bowl of fruits. “What do you want, Y/N? Condoms?” She joked, looking away. “Sarah—“ “I can’t believe it, you’ve been fucking my brother for weeks, without telling me.” You crossed your arms, nervously biting your lower lip. “I— I’m sorry. I was scared, because it’s obviously very problematic—“ Sarah chuckled, looking back at you. “No shit, Y/N!” She said, falling back into her chair. “First of all, my brother is an asshole, he doesn't deserve you. Second of all, he hurt our friends many times!” “I know, I feel guilty about us everyday, Sarah!” You shouted, walking up to her. “I don’t know how it happened, but i really like him and—” “Oh my god, tell me you’re not in love with my brother.” She said, visibly disgusted. “He’s not that bad, he’s actually sweet at times. Come on, Sarah. I was the first one to defend you and John B!” The Kook girl sighed, trying to understand how someone like you could love someone like Rafe. “I don’t want you to get hurt. You’re one of my best friends, Y/N.” She said, giving you a tiny smile. “I’m traumatized by the way.” She added, grimacing at the idea of his brother and you having sex. “Please, don’t be mad at me. I— I know this is weird, but i liked being around him and i feel like i might have a good influence on him.” “Of course you have a good influence on him, you’re adorable. But we can’t trust him.” You looked down, crossing your arms. “We are not dating, it’s just—” “You need to tell the others, especially JJ.” You looked back at her, eyes widening. “No way! JJ’s gonna kill him, we all know how dramatic he can be.” Sarah nodded. “Do you really want him to find out the same way I did?” You sighed, shaking your head. Maybe it was time to tell everyone.
Today, you weren’t feeling well, a bit stressed by the whole situation. However, you were excited to see Rafe again at the country club. But when you walked in the dining room, your smile disappeared almost instantly, your eyes leaning on the beautiful woman sitting next to him, the one who accompanied him at the Midsummers. She looked flawless and visibly older than you, probably closer to his age. “Take their order, Y/N.” Your manager said. You sighed, walking up to their table, shaking in your shoes. You saluted Ward, ignoring the Kook boy and his date, the sight of them making you feel sick to your stomach. You started overthinking, wondering if he had been fucking her too, the whole time he was seeing you. You could feel his eyes on you, the intensity distracting you and making you choke on your words as you took their order. “I— Alright, Sir.” You walked away, running out of the room once you were done, hiding in the bathroom where it all started. But this time, Rafe didn’t follow you, his absence breaking your heart.
A few days passed since the last time you saw him at the country club. And he has been acting dead ever since. “Y/N?” JJ asked, stroking your shoulder. “What’s going on? You’re usually excited to eat one of my burgers.” You smirked, turning to the blond boy. “I’m excited!” You faked enthusiasm, trying to ignore the pain you’ve been feeling all night. “Don’t lie to me.” He said, narrowing his eyes and sitting down next to you on the couch. “Is it about that guy you’re seeing? Do you want me to kick his ass?” You chuckled, looking at his clenched fists. “Tough day at work, that’s all.” You said, standing up. “Y/N…” He groaned, watching you walk to John B’s kitchen. “Come on, tell me the truth.” He begged, following you. “Did he hurt you?” Yes. “Can’t we just talk about something else, JJ?” “I hooked up with this—“ You turned around smacking his chest. “You’re so annoying.” You said, rolling your eyes at his amusement. “I don’t want to talk about him, it’s probably not even relevant anymore.” You opened the fridge, giving the blond the ingredients. “You guys broke up or?” You sighed, of course he wasn’t going to let it go. “We weren’t together, we were just… seeing each other.” JJ hummed in response, walking towards the counter. “I don’t know what you’re hiding but—” You weren’t listening anymore, looking into space, rethinking about your conversation with Sarah the other day. “JJ? I— I fucked Rafe Cameron.” You blurted out, the confession surprising him. He let everything fall on the counter before turning towards you, eyes filled with anger. “Please, JJ. Don’t be mad at me. I— I wanted to tell you but i didn’t know how.” He clenched his jaw, walking up to you. “Rafe Cameron? Out of all the guys?” He laughed nervously, ready to raise his voice. “Are you fuckinf kidding me, Y/N?” He shouted at your face, giving you goosebumps. “I’m so sorry…” You cried, looking away. JJ’s features softened at the sight of your tears, guilt washing his anger away. “Don’t— Shit.” He sighed, pulling you into a hug. “Don’t cry, Y/N. I’m sorry for yelling at you, it’s just—“ He paused, the sound of your sobs breaking his heart. He knew something was wrong, he couldn’t be the only one responsible for your breakdown. “What happened?” He asked, caressing your hair, still shocked by the news. “I’m so stupid.” You murmured, head pressed against his chest. “I love him.” JJ sighed, holding you tight. “I won’t let anyone hurt you.” He murmured back, already picturing himself fighting the Kook boy.
“Okay, i’ll be there in ten minutes.” You said, holding the phone close to your ear as you left your house. “No, JJ. I won’t give you my bra to try it on. I don’t care if it’s a bet—” You whined, rolling your eyes and closing the door behind you. “Whatever, see you guys soon.” You hung up, then walked towards your car, entering the driveway when you noticed someone leaned against the vehicle: Rafe. “Leave me alone.” You hissed, trying to shut down your emotions. He looked hot, as always, his devilish smirk still present on his perfectly sculpted face. “I’m serious, Rafe.” You said, pushing him to the right, the Kook boy grabbing your hips with both hands in the act. “Let me explain, Y/N.” You pushed him away, this time with way more strength. “Explain, what? How you fucked someone else behind my back? Because you’re ashamed to be seen with a Pogue?” He frowned, shaking his head. “What are you talking about—“ “I’m eighteen years old, still living with my parents, working at the country club and driving an old car. I’m not some model in her twenties, born into a rich family.” Rafe sighed, passing a hand over his face, tears emerging from the corner of your eyes. “Baby…” He said, trying to take your hand but failing. "Don't— You disappeared for a week.” You tried to open the car door, but he closed it immediately with his hand. “Rafe!” You whined, containing your tears. “Let me explain, Y/N.” He begged, turning you around and slamming you against the vehicle, leaning his face dangerously close to yours. You both looked at each other for a second, wanting to close the gap between the two of you. “I—“ You started, swallowing hard. “I don’t know what to do, kissing you or punching you in the fucking face, Cameron.” He smirked, caressing your cheek. “Nothing happened between us, trust me. Michelle comes from a rich family and my father tried to set us up.” You nodded, sighing. “So, are you married now?” “I told him about us, about my feelings for you.” Your lips parted. “But— But you left and—“ “Remember the last time i did that? The week before Midsummers?” You nodded. “I was dealing with some issues.” You frowned. “Are you talking about drugs? I thought you were—“ “Clean?” He laughed, the sadness in his tone hitting you. “I’m never high around you, because you make me feel better, because you’re my escape.” A tear rolled down your cheek, which he wiped away with his thumb. “But the shit my dad was putting through— it triggered me.” “Why didn’t you call me, Rafe? You can always count on me.” “I know, but after what happened at the club… I felt like shit for hurting you, i didn’t mean to. When you left the room— I really wanted to follow you.” You couldn’t hold back anymore, grabbing his face and pulling him into a soft kiss. “I— I think i’m in love with you, Rafe.” You murmured, your forehead resting against his. “I think i’m in love with you too, Y/N.” He replied, smiling, both hands now holding your shaking ones and giving them soft kisses.
That night, you decided to tell everyone at the Chateau: Rafe driving you to the location and accompanying you. You were nervous, holding his hand as you both walked to the backyard, where your friends were talking. “What the fuck?” Pope asked, being the first one to notice the Kook boy next to you. “Holy shit—“ Kiara mumbled, her eyes stuck on your hands. “What is he doing here?” John B asked, standing up. “What the—“ Sarah covered his mouth with her hand, winking at you. “What’s going on, Y/N?” Kie asked, looking at everyone with confusion. JJ remained silent, examining your boyfriend with a clenched jaw. “We— We are dating.” You said, leaning your head against Rafe’s chest, craving some protection. “Is this a joke?” Pope asked, while your other friends seemed disappointed. “I know he’s been a real asshole—“ “What the fuck!” Kie shouted, standing up. “You were hooking up with him the whole time?” “I’m genuinely sorry for lying to you guys! But—“ You paused, trembling in your boyfriend’s arms, as he held you close to him. “I didn’t premeditated to fall in love with him.” You continued, glancing at Rafe. “I still don’t understand how you managed to make her fall in love with you.” JJ said, looking at his boots. “Wait,” John B said, glancing back and forth between us. “You already knew about this?” “She told me yesterday.” Sarah sighed. “And i caught them having sex in her kitchen.” Kie fake-gagged, looking away. “You had sex in a kitchen?” Pope asked, eyes widening. “Oh my god, shut up.” Kie said, slapping the back of his head. Rafe cleared his throat. “I really like— Love, Y/N.” He said, looking at your friends. “I fucked up in the past, but i won’t bother any of you ever again.” He promised, your arms wrapping themselves around his waist, the small gesture making his heart melt. “Gross…” JJ murmured, looking away. “I know it’s gonna take you guys some time to fully accept and understand but—“ “You defended me, when Sarah and I started dating. I won’t judge you, but i can’t trust him.” John B said, looking at Rafe. “If you hurt her—“ “I won’t.” Your friends looked at each other, still a bit lost and overwhelmed by all of this.
After a few months, your friends were starting to accept your relationship with the Kook boy a bit more: inviting him and his friends to parties, hanging out with the two of you, all of this without causing any drama. It wasn’t easy at first, especially for JJ who’s always been protective, but he knew you were truly happy with Rafe and it was the most important to him. Your parents loved him, especially your mother, who finds him extremely charming, obviously. “I think your mother likes me.” Rafe whispered, glancing at the older woman from across the table. “She definitely has a crush on you.” “The mom and the daughter? Sounds like—“ “If you say porn, you’re gonna have to watch some for a while.” You warned, crossing your arms. Rafe chuckled, caressing your bare thigh under the table. “That’s sweet,” He said, leaning his lips closer to your ear. “We both know you can’t resist me.” “I have other options waiting for me.” You teased back, smirking at him. “Really?” He asked, his thumb caressing your inner-thigh, getting dangerously close to your center. “Well, we’ll talk about it later then.” He said, his eyes getting darker and your whole body shivering at his words. You already knew the outcome of this conversation, your legs already shaking at the idea. “Appreciate them while you can, baby.” He said, moving his hand to your knee. “You’re not gonna be able to use them for a while.”
uhuhuhuh, the end.
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aperrywilliams · 3 years
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New blurbs-series: 10 days to my birthday!! (Day 8)
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(Not my gif)
Author Masterlist - Series Masterlist
My birthday will be in 8 days from now. So I’m going to celebrate myself with 10 Spencer Reid’s blurbs. Enjoy!
Day 10 | Day 09 | Day 08 | Day 07 | Day 06 | Day 05 | Day 04 | Day 03 | Day 02 | Day 01
Day 08: Spencer Reid hold your hand for the first time.
When you made the decision to apply at the BAU, you knew so well what you were getting into. You knew you would see horrible things and meet despicable people. Moreover, you knew you'd have to get into the minds of serial killers in order to stop them. That was basically your job. But human behavior never ceased to amaze. Even after working on Aaron Hotchner's team for over a year, it seemed like a every week you will face an even more twisted case compared to the last one.
One of the first things they told you when you were accepted to the BAU is that you shouldn't take cases personally. They told you that it’s okay to empathize, but that once the case was over, you have to move on. You tried to do that as best you could, but like your co-workers, there were times when was too hard to do that. There were cases that affected you more than others. There were unsubs who managed to settle in your mind more persistently than others.
John Rogger was an example of that kind of cases for you. He was a murderer of young women in Alabama. When the BAU was called to investigate, Rogger already had more than 15 deaths in tow and at least 3 more women kidnapped. In addition to identifying and arresting him, the purpose was to be able to save the abducted women alive. That meant that once arrested, the team had to apply several and intense interviews to obtain information, but Rogger didn’t say a word. So far, only Hotch and Rossi had conducted the questionings. According to the profile the team built, they concluded if someone of the opposite sex and young questioned him, a better result could be obtained. Given the physical resemblance and closeness of age to the victims, Hotch decided that you were the best option to do that.
So you found yourself locked in a room with one of the most despicable murderers you had ever met, trying to obtain information. Hours and hours passed, where your patience, your temperance and your profiling skills were tested. To gain his trust, you said things about yourself that you wouldn’t have told anyone. You had to 'empathize' with a serial killer. You navigated his disturbed mind revealing details that you would have preferred not to know. Every time you took a break between questioning, Spencer made a point of checking how you were feeling and if you needed anything. He knew - or at least suspected - that this case was draining what little energy you had left so far. In each new interrogation, Rogger tried to find out more about you, your family, your private life. It was as if he wanted to get into your mind in the same way that you tried to get into his. You felt vulnerable, exposed. Even knowing that the one who was handcuffed and locked up for life was him and not you, every time his eyes fell on you, you couldn't help but feel fear. Even so, you didn’t waver and continued with the interrogations until after 2 intense days, Rogger broke and you managed to obtain the kidnapped women’s location.
The team quickly mobilized to the rescue. When you were about to put on your FBI vest to go with them, Hotch stopped you.
“You won’t go with us. You'll stay here at the station until we get back,” he told you immediately as he saw how you were getting ready, fastening your weapon in the holster attached to your belt.
“But sir, I have to go. I'm the one with the most details about the location and the things that can be found there…”, you tried to convince him. But Hotch wasn’t going to back down on his decision.
“I told you (Y/L/N). You will stay here. The extraction team is now ready. You've done enough, it's not safe for you to go with us”. Clearly Hotch was trying to prevent you from collapsing on the field, already knowing that Rogger had absorbed all your energy, but you didn't see it that way, and you interpreted it as punishment for some mysterious reason that you didn't know. According to you it was unfair, you wanted to save those women as much as everyone else, why deny you that option?
Reluctantly you nodded and watched as the whole team rushed out of the police station towards the location where they expected to find the women kidnapped by Rogger. With a lump in your throat and a defeating feeling you sat on one of the benches that were in the hall of the station. You felt useless, why you had to sit and wait while everyone was doing their job? The same job you could be doing.
You were deep in thought when Spencer sat next to you. You hadn't even noticed that he hadn't gone with the team.
“Spencer... I thought you would go with...,” you trailed off in confusion. Spencer looked at you and shook his head.
“I think this time it’s better I stay here. Just like you,” he replied. You let out a frustrated sigh.
“Do you too think I would be an obstacle in the field? Like Hotch?”. You asked sadly. Spencer frowned and rushed to reply.
“I don't think that (Y/N), and I’m sure Hotch doesn’t think that either,” Reid said, staring at you and trying to read your micro expressions.
“So why did he leave me here? I don't get it...,” your trembling voice revealed that you were about to cry overwhelmed by frustration.
“Because you've already done all the work you could do (Y/N), that's why,” Spencer replied simply. You looked at him with teary eyes trying to understand what his words were referring to.
“What does that mean? Does it mean that I have to wait and do nothing?...”
“Do you think it’s nothing you participating in Rogger's arrest and spent two whole days in and out of that interrogation room, doing everything in your power to break him… and finally achieve it? I think you did enough (Y/N),” Spencer pointed out, not losing eye contact with you.
“But... what if they are not found alive? If they can´t save them?...”. Just thinking about that scenario made your stomach clench.
“It would be a bad outcome, no doubt, but sadly it’s no longer in your hands (Y/N), nor in mine. I know waiting is excruciating, but there are times when it’s inevitable. We must wait and trust the team will do the right decisions on the field. That's as teamwork works”.
Thinking of Spencer's words you could only sigh again and come to the conclusion that he was right. You put your whole heart in for hours and days to get some clue to help the case. You just wanted it not to be too late.
Your mind tried to convince itself that you should wait for news. But your body told you otherwise, you couldn't stop bouncing your leg, you sighed uneasily every two minutes, with the fingers of one of your hands you squeezed the fingers of your other hand, you rocked back and forth on the bench. Your entire body expression screamed unease and disturbance. Spencer was silent to respect your own process, but seeing you like this hurt him deeply. He just wanted you could regain some serenity and peace of mind, but he also knew that the body was capable of betraying you over and over again, ignoring your own will.
Without saying a word, one of his hands that was resting on his knee reached for yours and gave it a gentle squeeze to remove it from its task of digging your nails into your own palm. The first contact startled you a little, but you gave in to the touch and let him guide your linked hands, making it rest in the space of the bench that was between you. After squeezing it slightly, with his thumb he began to trace soft patterns over your knuckles, looking for to relax your fingers. The warmth of his hand and the softness of his touch made you give in as the minutes passed and the tension in your body managed to dissipate in part. Your breathing also returned to a fairly normal rhythm. Both in silence. But it was not an awkward silence. It was the waiting you both had to face. It was fate that was no longer in your hands. And that was the first time Spencer Reid held your hand and taught you about there are times you just had to let it go. And that there are times when you don’t have to wait and face destiny alone.
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steveezekiel · 2 years
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TEMPTATION COMES THROUGH EVIL DESIRES THAT ENTICED
12. "Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.
13. Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone.
14. BUT EACH ONE IS TEMPTED WHEN HE IS DRAWN AWAY BY HIS OWN DESIRES AND ENTICED."
James 1:12-14 (NKJV)
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• You need to watch the thoughts and desires in your heart as a believer.
- Before somebody falls into a sin, he or she must have been thinking along the line of that particular sin.
- When a seed of thought is sown in someone's heart by the devil; if the person permitted the thought and persisted on it, then it becomes a snare—an enticement that causes his fall.
"Then, WHEN DESIRE HAS CONCEIVED, IT GIVES BIRTH TO SIN; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death."
James 1:15 (NKJV)
• If you see yourself struggling with a particular sin, you check the desires of your heart. What are the things giving birth to such thoughts and desires in your heart.
- If the thoughts and desires are caused by the books you read, the programmes you watched on TV, what you listened to on radio, what you watched or read online, then you need to stop reading such materials and stop watching or listening to such programmes.
- Moreover, if the thoughts and desires are caused by association, communion with some people; then you need to break up with such persons.
• There is no curse without a cause (Proverbs 26:2).
- There is a reason for that negative desire, and if the root of the matter is not dealt with, you cannot experience total freedom.
- Enticement comes through DESIRES which later give birth to sin.
• After you have broken away from the source of that negative desire; then you begin to feed your mind with things that can give you, birth in you, good thoughts and desires.
"Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow [abundance[ of wickedness, AND RECEIVE WITH MEEKNESS THE IMPLANTED WORD, WHICH IS ABLE TO SAVE YOUR SOULS [minds]."
James 1:21 (NKJV)
- The Word of God will save your soul, that is, it will renew your mind—to think wholesomely (Romans 12:2).
- Remember, your mind cannot be left empty, it has to be filled with something, either good or bad stuff. You make the choice of what you want your mind to be filled with—you are the gatekeeper to your mind: "keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life" (Proverbs 4:23).
- You live according to what your mind is fed with: your mind gives birth to thoughts that are in line with what you programmed in it.
20. "And He said, "What comes out of a man, that defiles a man.
21. "For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders...
23. "And the evil things come from within and defile a man."
Mark 7:20,21,23 (NKJV)
• If you do not feed your mind with things that give birth to Godly desires; the enemy, the devil, may take advantage of you and begin to inject in your mind the dirty things that defiled (Ephesians 2:1-3).
- The system of the world is contrary to God's principles.
- There are things we see daily that can contaminate our minds and birth sinful desires—because we live in a sinful and broken world.
- You can only counter those things which come to your mind through what you see and hear daily—by feeding your mind with the Word of God.
- When you stop feeding your mind with the Word of God, other things will begin to occupy your mind—sinful desires.
15. "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him
16. FOR ALL THAT IS IN THE WORLD— the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—IS NOT OF THE FATHER BUT IS OF THE WORLD.
17. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it, but he who does the will of God abides forever."
1 John 2:15-17 (NKJV)
• The antidote to evil desires is to keep feeding your mind with the Word of God—to counter the negative thoughts that come from the world.
"And do not be conformed to this world, BUT BE TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."
Romans 12:1 (NKJV)
• You will not fail in Jesus' name.
Peace!
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A Way to Learn a Lesson
written by:
@burningcowboyhoagietaco
illustrated and edited by the amazing, the one and only:
@lenle-g
Before I publish the story id like to thank @lenle-g from the bottom of my heart for being patient with me, being nice to me the whole time, and for making my story even better and more exciting. Without her I would have stayed in my normal, not that good English story. so thank you for everything!!! <3<3
And here's my part at @tagminibang submission:)
☆☆☆☆☆
Scott, no!!! No way! I am not going to give any lectures to anyone." John's voice comes out tight. "Especially not in front of a crowd. No way."
"Why not?" Scott raises a brow, his voice honeyed with ‘big brother wants something’. "It's not like you're gonna get executed by some children just for talking space at them, right? You love talking about space. It's all I've heard since you were, like, seven."
"No, that's not it." There's a sharp shake of the ginger’s head, "Scott, come on!" John knows for a fact that his oldest brother knows he's the most socially awkward person to have ever lived on Tracy Island (and maybe the entire planet). "You’ve lived with me long enough to know how much I hate social.... anything." John complains. "Why would you ever think I'd want to do this?""
"Well, yes, I know that," Scott shrugs, "I've seen that look you get on your face when there's a lot of people around." He’s well aware that his brother is an introvert who hates socializing with anyone, so he quickly changes the subject to try and make his younger brother feel a little more at ease. "But hey... everyone knows how much you like it when anyone talks about space or anything about astronomy. You'd be amazing at it."
"That's a different thing." John says flatly. Flattery, it seems, wont get Scott very far. "It's like, whenever you guys ask me anything about space, I like to answer them for you, but from random people…? And in huge crowds? I just simply can't." Surely he doesn’t have to explain himself much more than that?
"Oh trust me, everything is going to be fine." Scott was a flippant hand around, talking without really thinking, because all he wants is for his brother to get out of Thunderbird 5, to visit Earth for a little bit, to mingle with people a little. It can't be that bad. "If anything happens, Gordon and Alan'll be in Thunderbird Five doing Space Monitor duty, me and Virgil are gonna keep an eye on everything, and you’re in safe hands with Lady Penelope and Parker. It's all set up, so please go have some fun for once and teach the children something cool."
"My answer is still no." John says persistently, without hesitation. He's pretty sure it'd be worse than being in the middle of a hurricane, or testing one of his Grandma's new cooking experiments. It’s lucky Scott misses his involuntary shudder.
Scott, though, is so done with him at this point, that he's pretty sure there's no choice but to use plan b and hope that that works instead on his unwilling, stubborn, red haired brother. They've got to get him down from orbit and to that lecture somehow. Scott's just not going to stand for anything else.
"Are you sure that's your last answer?" Scott asks, with a heavy sigh, already planning the best way to call in the big guns.
"Yes," John scowls, arms folded. "Yes, it is."
They'll see about that.
...
"Is everything ready?" John adjusts his sleeves, smoothing down his vest and putting the last touches on his collar. Neat, simple, formal. Can't go wrong. "My presentation papers, laptop, and my mini simple dimple?”
"Yes, all in the bag." Scott calls back, rapidly checking everything, "But do you really need that little fidget thing of yours?" He picks his younger brother's old toy up between forefinger and thumb to examine it, remembering the day John made their Mom buy it for when he gets stressed.
"What fidge- oh, yes I need it." The look on John's face leaves no doubt about that. "I've used it ever since Mom bought it for me."
"Hey… Mom would've been proud of you, you know?” Scott tells him, in a quick flash of brotherly pride. “For, you know, going out of your safe zone for a little while and teaching the children and all that."
"Yeah, I know…" John finds him a nervous smile, "But I'm not doing this voluntarily, you've forced me with that plan b of yours."
The second John says that Scott's cheeks dimple, the corners of his eyes crinkle, and he grins victoriously, his teeth a bright white in the earliest rays of morning sun.
“All I had to do was make a call." He shrugs, "Lady Penelope did all the talking and somehow convinced you to go." Scott got a little more excited. He took a couple of steps forward, slightly standing on his toes reaching John's level asking"How did she convince you?" Clearly waiting teasingly for an answer to come out of John's lips
"Huhhhh." John exhales loudly, a little despairing. "She promised me we'd go to the Pagasa Astronomical Observatory after I finish the lecture with the children." He shrugs, keeping his eyes down, embarrassed.
"The what now?" Scott stares at him, thoroughly confused.
"The Pagasa Astronomical Observatory in the Philippines.” John says, like that was obvious, “It's equipped with a 45-cm computer-based telescope. It's so powerful that astronomers and astronomy enthusiasts can now conduct effective observations of stellar bodies and other distant space objects! Scott, it’s been my dream to go since I was, like, 17."
Scott always knew how much of an astrophile his younger brother is; he never cared about his physical appearance, nor his poor eating habits and he always used to make excuses to read his books alone, yet no one has ever interfered in his personal life.
"Okay okay space lover boy,” Scott grins at him. He'd expected Penny to be persuasive, but resigning herself to hours stuck with John in full excited-about-space mode would hardly be in his top ten. Either he's gonna owe her one, or Penny's more resilient than him. “You can go, no one is holding you back."
The short silence between them was broken by a ringing sound from a nearby table, which John answers.
“...Mhm, yes? Oh, the lecture." It must be Penelope calling, "Yeah, I'm ready, I'll head out now." John grabs his bag, wandering toward where the FAB1 must already be idling on the Tracy runway. "Time to go."
"Mhm,” Scott makes an agreeable noise, watching him go. “Please stay safe and please don't make an idiot of yourself." He's teasing… mostly.
"Yeah yeah," John waves at him over his shoulder, not even looking back. "I won't."
"Are we there yet?" Despite the consistently amazing views out of FAB1’s windows during the flight, John’s found himself mostly looking down, fidgeting with his fingers. He’s worrying, just a little, about what awaits him in the Philippines - a whole different tropical island to his own, though still in the South of the Pacific Ocean.
"Just give Parker ten more minutes, darling,” Her Ladyship smiles at him, “We'll arrive in no time."
There’s a moment of silence before, unexpectedly, it’s broken by a call flashing up from, of all places, Thunderbird Five. There’s a prickly sense of discomfort as John realises that, of course, it’s not him calling. Gordon must be trying to reach them.
"Heeeeey Lady Penelope,” The kid greets, as Penny flicks it on, seemingly a lot less bothered by the change than he is. “Oh, and Mr. Tracy.” There’s a huge smirk on his face. “How's our newest teacher holding up?"
"Firstly, my name is John.” John points out, flatly, “Second, I'm not your teacher so please don’t call me Mr. Tracy ever again. Thirdly…” He concedes, quirking an eyebrow, “Yeah, I'm good for now, but fourth… How are you holding up, up there in my Thunderbird? She’s not much like Four, is she?"
"Ooooooooo that's a good question,” Gordon looks half like he’s considering it, half like he’s really missing his own ‘bird. “I'm holding up pretty well thanks to Alan. He’s taken all the Monitor duty stuff, so all I gotta do is keep an eye on you guys." He sounds a bit… sarcastic about that. “It’s pretty boring, honestly. How do you survive up here without a pool?”
"Young Master Gordon, are you quite done talking?" Parker glances, unimpressed, at the little floating hologram of John’s brother in his rearview mirror, "Because we're about to arrive at our destination."
"Huh… oh yeah,” Gordon doesn’t seem too bothered about that, but he waves merrily at them all the same, “Okay bye and John, please have fun, you too Lady Penelope, okay bye guys."
It’s only a few moments later that Parker opens his mouth to tell them that they’ve arrived at Chino Roque Theater, pulling up out front to let them both climb out.
John's eyes widen: it’s nothing like what he saw on the internet. It was more enormous, more luminous, more spectacular than anything he’d seen or read online. All he remembers reading is that it's a sphere shaped building located in the Philippines, in Anilao Hill, but the pictures on the webpage didn’t do it justice like being there in person does.
The building was smooth and round; the auditorium shaped like a massive egg nestled in amongst the other buildings. They were early enough that the sun was just cresting the horizon, colouring the sky with reds and oranges, visible through the geometric front of the building - where giant triangles of glass intersect together to give the people inside an amazing view of the sky at night.
"M'lady, you and John can go ahead. I'll park FAB 1." Parker said, before going to the parking lot - unaware just how tiring and long his journey to find a place to park is going to be.
They both head inside the building, admiring the sweeping glass fractals of the roof high above them. It’s incredibly beautiful, really a feat of engineering. So much so, that John almost forgets why he’s even there, until he spots a couple of buses arriving on the other side of the building, and the panic sets in. He was expecting to be a little bit anxious, but this feels like his heart is going to beat right out of his chest. He presses a hand hard against it, trying to calm his racing pulse and stop the sudden shake of his fingers, and Penny must notice, because a little hand settles, ever so lightly, on his shoulder, drawing his attention to her.
"Hey John," Lady Penelope looks him steadily in the eye, projecting warmth and reassurance. "They're just a small, mixed group of children and teens. They can’t possibly hurt you, now can they? They just came to have a small lecture because all of them like space and astronomy just like you. Imagine yourself at their age, meeting a real life astronaut.” John tries very hard not to remind her who, exactly, his Father was, as she goes on - trying to visualise being a kid that didn’t get ‘take your son to work days’ at NASA’. It’s a pretty horrifying concept. “Most importantly,” Penny adds, “it's only for an hour or so, so you don't need to worry so much." She had to smile just to reassure him. “You’ll have filled their heads with space facts and be out before you know it.”
"O-okay,” John takes a deep, steadying breath, “I don't know if I'm supposed to trust you on this, or whatever, but I really don't have any other choice." He also wants to add that they forced him to go, but at the last second he remembers that they never forced him - he agreed to go because Lady Penelope promised him a trip to the observatory.
It seems like a pretty weak reason, now that he’s outside the stage door, knees shaking.
"Mhm, I think it's time to go inside.” She nudges him callously in the right direction, and John’s palms meeting the solid metal of the double doors is the only thing that keeps him from following gravity’s call and landing on his face. “Again, if anything happens, I'll be at the back of the room and I have a plan b if things get too much." John, pretty shocked by just how many plan b's the Lady Penelope might have prepared for the day, can only shake his head, bemused. “So stop worrying and get out there!”
She vanishes off into the atrium, and John can’t help the loud exhale that escapes his mouth before he musters up all the courage he can, and enters the room.
Bright lights startle him for a moment, and he’s pretty sure he does an awful, awkward impression of a blind baby giraffe as he stumbles out onto the stage and freezes as he notices the first smatterings of audience are already taking their seats.
The moment he placed his foot on the smooth wooden floor, his heart had started to beat faster, his hands began to sweat, the more steps he took forward the more he felt anxious. It was, he’ll think later, one of the toughest moments of his life, and he’s been to space. Multiple times.
Come on John. He tries to straighten up, shake off his anxiety, This can’t go worse than your first EVA.
Taking another deep breath, John waits patiently for all the attendees to take a seat inside the room. Waiting doesn’t help his anxiety levels at all, and he can feel them increasing by the second, but, determined, John doesn’t let it stop him from starting his lecture.
"H-Hello everybody,” He starts, incredibly conscious of the hushed silence that falls across his audience. “I'm John Tracy, M.Sci, PgDip, B.Lang Hons,” he rattles off his credentials, his nerves almost blurring them together, “I worked with NASA as an astronaut for three years before going… uh… solo in my astronomical studies, and I'll be your guest lecturer for the day.” He swallows around the lump in his throat, as a ripple of hushed oohhhs and ahhhs goes through the crowd. John’s pretty sure his face has gone bright red. “Thank you for having me at the Chino Roque Theater,” He goes on, before his embarrassment can bet the better of him, “I hope everyone’s had an amazing day so far. We'll be spending the next hour or so talking about astronomy and space physics, so shall we get started?" John thought it was a good opening, and yet his back was really wet from all the people's eyes on him. Glancing offstage, Penelope throws him a thumbs up, and he feels a little better.
"Um,” He blinks. “So does anyone here know how old the universe is?" John ventures, only to be surprised as almost everyone answers at once;
"Almost 13.8 billion years!"
"Yes,” The edge of a smile works its way onto John’s face. Clearly this was going to be a shout out the answer kind of lecture. He can work with that. “That's correct, now does anyone know how the universe started?"
"The Big Bang!" Most of them answer, and John feels a surge of relief. These guys really are into space.
"Okay, okay, not bad at all." He nods affirmatively at them, and the screen behind him lights up with an artist’s rendition of the Big Bang happening. "Now if I were to go and search ‘how old is the universe’ in, say, Google, the answer would be 13,772 billion years. It’d be the same thing if we looked at NASA, or even Wikipedia - so how did people get to know the age of the universe? How do you even start calculating something that old? Well I'm going to explain it for you in two ways: the good, nice way, and the kinda not that good and not that scientific way." There’s a bit of an awkward pause as John wonders whether or not he’s explained that well. When only silence greets him, he very quickly realises he needs to press on.
"So, uh, the good way.” He folds his fingers together behind his back, trying to resist the urge to fidget. “Well, in the middle of the previous century, as telescopes developed, we noticed something strange. We found that stars in very distant galaxies tend to look red… Umm, which is something that’s not supposed to happen.” A chuckle escapes John and, to his relief, the audience laughs with him. Scott never gets his space jokes. “So why’s that?” He asks, “See, if a chemical element gains or loses energy it’ll emit light in certain frequencies, thereby creating certain colors.” A small movement of his hand signals the slide to change, and a picture of the visible section of the electromagnetic spectrum appears, colouring the room with rainbow light. “For example,” John goes on, bathed in blue and violet, “Consider something like… a desk lamp, as like an element. If you give a lamp electrical energy, it’ll release that energy in the form of heat and light, yeah?" There’s a murmur of uncertain understanding in the room. “Electricity goes in, the bulb gets hot, and it gives off light. Well, we know stars do pretty much the same thing - only powered by nuclear fusion rather than a nine volt plug.”
"From studies of the sun and stars that are near Earth, we know that they’re made of helium and hydrogen, yes?” There’s another murmur of agreement in John’s crowd, “Well, hydrogen and helium can create red light, but they don't have the ability to create these shades of red that we see in deep space." The slide behind John clicks to a comparison of the two shades, on two different stars - making the difference clear.
"So, if stars are made of helium and hydrogen then why do distant stars have different colours? Are their compositions different?uh, well It’s possible, but not likely. The strongest explanation is that the color difference is due to the movement of the stars." The room gives a soft gasp at this news, and John knows he’s onto something good.
"So there's something called the redshift and blueshift phenomenon that says that if an object radiates light and approaches you, the color of the light begins to turn blue, and if the object is moving away from you, the color will turn red. This happens because the wavelength of light contracts and expands with movement meaning that something stretching equals red and contraction equals blue."
"And the strange thing is,” John adds, his audience listening raptly, “That most, if not all, stars show the same behavior, so, if we think about it, if all stars are moving away from us, that means that they were close to us at some point, and if we follow their path, we find that everything in space meets at a point named ‘singularity’."
"It was believed, in the past, that everything in the universe, or at least in the visible part that we have observed, that is to say,” John flicks to a graphic on his next slide. “All the galaxies, planets and stars, were all gathered at one point - the singularity. The theory is that this point exploded in what we call the ‘Big Bang’, and from that time onward, the universe has been in constant expansion.”
"So it’s with data from this knowledge that we can calculate the age of the universe:” With a wave of his hand, John puts a series of bullet points up on the screen behind him, then reads them aloud.
“One, the universe began as a very small, single point.” He reaffirms, “Two, the universe is constantly expanding outward from that point, and three, from these we have the ability to calculate the expansion rate of the universe, by calculating the speed of the stars that are moving away from us. If we take the furthest accelerations and enter them into this equation,” John’s board merrily does it’s thing behind him, “Then, we get the age of the universe."
"And, so we don't forget, all this talking was about the good way. There is another way to calculate the age of the universe, the, uh, not as good way, or, more specifically, the less scientific way.” A ripple of laughter goes through John’s audience - and he relaxes a little more. Maybe Scott was right. Maybe these are his kind of people. Scott’s never laughed at a space joke for sure. “There's no problem with it,” He quietens them again with a gentle gesture, “and it does support our theory and calculations, so I guess we should talk about it."
"Since ancient times, humans have been looking at the sky, watching the stars, and giving them names like Cygnus, Canis Major, Orion.” All names any young astronomer in the Southern Hemisphere would recognise, and be able to enthusiastically point out in the night sky. “In those days, there wasn't the internet so they were looking up at the stars instead.” Much like John himself, when he’d been a boy.
“As a way of calculating the age of the universe, astronomers set out to search for the oldest celestial bodies in space.” He goes on to explain, “The idea was that if we find a star whose age equals X, then the age of the universe must be greater than the number X. So we pointed our telescopes up there and started trying to find out their ages from birth, to youth, to their old age until their end."
"Can anyone guess the age of the oldest star we've found?" A lot of answers were guessed, some of them were pretty close, but some, amusingly, were way too far. "Ok, ok…” John puts his hands up to pacify his excited crowd, “Umm I see there are a lot of answers, but the oldest star people discovered was actually estimated to be 13.5 billion years old. The HD-140283, or as you might know it, the Methuselah Star. That number is very close, you’ll notice, to our estimation of the age of the universe."
"But if we found a star that is 13.5 billion years old today, then we could find an even older star next week and that would ruin all of that,” He chuckles, mostly to himself, “We also should note that this method alone isn't suitable for determining the universe’s age, but as long as we have two methods with corroborative results, we can be reassured that the estimate is correct.” He pauses for a second, “So, does anyone have questions?" A couple of hands raised, and John found himself suddenly answering a lot of questions - but he managed all of them despite his fear of the huge crowd.
He’s starting to feel more than a little overwhelmed.
"Umm… W-well that was a lot of questions,” John tries to pull it back in, his allotted lecture time ticking away on the big clock at the back of the hall. He feels a little panicky from the bombardment, and his palms have gone sweaty. “We’d better move on.” To distract himself from the people, as much as anything, “Our next topic is the theory of relativity, so l-let's get started on that."
Lady Penelope, from her fold-out seat at the back of the room, frowns. It’s clear John’s terrified and she wants to use plan b, but as long as he’s still standing on his feet, and giving the lecture, he's probably fine for now. If anything, it’d cause more of a disruption to drag him away now.
"Umm,” John takes a breath, trying to centre himself in the science of it all. “Let's start with a supposition, a hypothesis if you like, and consider it together. Okay, you’ll have to bear with me on this one, but let us suppose that we were all asleep, and the universe suddenly inflated by a thousand times.” There’s a murmur in the crowd at how odd everything abruptly getting that much bigger sounds, “Your bed, your pillow, your desk,” John extrapolates, “even the meter we measure stuff with. If humans became a thousand times bigger, when we woke up would we feel something strange? Would we even notice anything had changed? You’d think so, but no.” John’s settling back into his rhythm now, “So why is that? Because the bed and everything became a thousand times more inflated and our bodies also inflated a thousand times, with everything scaling in parallel relation to each other so that this percentage, this scale, was preserved throughout the room. You’d never know the difference."
"Henri Poincaré, the well known mathematician and theoretical physicist, says that we will never be able to discover that something like this has happened, even if we use all the mathematics and calculations ever invented.” John drives the point home with another illustrated slide, “This hypothesis is called the Poincaré hypothesis, and simply, because the meter with which we measure things will have also expanded a thousand times, there’s never going to be any equation or calculation or any analysis possible that could lead us to the truth, because the ratio is preserved in all parts."
"Now, this is important, because the same thing also happens with time. If everything suddenly got a thousand times faster, we’d still never feel anything different. Why’s that?” He asks, rhetorically, “Because time is also a thousand times faster, your heartbeat is also a thousand times faster, your body would function a thousand times faster to keep up with it all. As long as everything is increased by the same amount, the ratio is preserved, and none of us will be able to detect any change."
"So Poincaré asked the scientific community; is there no way to know that time increased or that things inflated?" John tells the room, "Well, it was Albert Einstein who answered him, deciding that the one and only way to tell, would be to have someone observing what happened to the world from another galaxy, from another world, lightyears away. For someone to point a telescope in our direction, and look through it at us, and say what happened to the Earth? Why are humans walking a thousand times faster than in the past? But this person who realized the situation,” The astronaut waves a flippant hand, starting to feel much more confident again, “would have to be a person standing on a fixed external platform in a different world, so that what happened to us was not also happening to him."
"But, as Einstein commented, this hypothesis is impossible for a simple reason and it's that there is no fixed platform in the universe - the entirety of it is in constant, turbulent motion. For example, the Earth rotates at a speed of 460 meters per second, revolving around the sun at 30 kilometers per second, and at the same time, the sun and it’s planets and dwarf planets and moons and asteroids, all revolve around our galaxy, The Milky Way, at a speed of 300 kilometres per second, and so the whole universe revolves. That's,” John takes a deep breath, finding himself out of air after so much explaining, “why it's impossible for us humans to completely accurately judge the motion of any astral body."
"Because there is no fixed berth, we can only offer relativity. This is the first part of the theory that Einstein came up with, in summary; it cannot be said that the monotony of a body is absolute motion."
"Another thing he said was that, because of the vastness of the universe, it’s impossible to synchronize, what does that mean? Well, I will give you an example.” He flicks his slide, “Say I’m a person in the Philippines, and I'm talking to someone from the United States. We synchronize, and hear each other in real time, because we have a method of fast communication. I can hold my device and say; hello, how are you?” John holds up the slim, sliver slice of his phone to show the audience, “How’s the weather there? And they’d answer me with something like; I’m fine thank you, it's night here so it’s a bit hard to tell what the weather’s doing! What’s the weather like there? And I’d answer them; it's daytime, and maybe ask them something like, what are you eating? They’d answer me; a burger, and then I’d tell them that I'm eating kaldereta, and it’s much better than a burger."
In the audience Penny quietly hopes that Gordon, who's probably listening in with the rest of his brother’s, missed the fact John was making jokes on stage. The poor little bugger’ll never live it down otherwise.
"These two events, each person talking to the other, are compatible.”  John goes on, absolutely oblivious, “It’s possible because the two wireless devices, be they mobile phones or more sophisticated comms systems, are on the same globe, creating a fast means of communication.”
"But,” John postulates, “If I was talking to someone from another galaxy and I used the same means of communication to make a call, do you know how long it would take to get to them? It would be about five to six thousand years until my signal reaches the phone of our friend, and they’ll have married, had children and died, and their children would have married and had children and died, and so on, for thousands of years before then."
"And that's why it's impossible to synchronize between the ends of the universe,” John balances his palms like he’s weighing two invisible ends, “It rather puts a damper on our chances of finding and communicating with extraterrestrial life, for sure, but at least it’s possible to synchronize within one system, like the system of the Earth. "
"This is a thing that also applies to light, for example: any star you could look up and see now, the light emanating from it may be coming from thousands of years ago. This means that it’s possible that the star you see shining could have exploded and disappeared, and hasn't existed for a long time. Why? Because it takes a couple of thousand years for the light from that explosion to reach us."
"There isn’t any proof for the hypothesis that the universe is linked by time, but the thing that happens that we’re sure of is that the universe is made up of, sort of, separate islands of different times that have no connection between them. The connection between movement and time in space is something we all know about, for example, a day on Earth equals twenty-four hours, yes?” There’s a chorus of agreement from the audience, “But on Saturn, a day is ten hours because it rotates faster. Astonishingly, a day on Mercury is the same as fifty-eight whole Earth days, which, infact, is also a Mercurian year, because the planet revolves around the sun for the exact same period as it revolves around itself."
"Okay, so, to what extent is movement related to time?” John asks, well and truly into this whole teaching thing now, “Well, Einstein was the first person to discover the connection between them and suggested that; suppose you’re on board a very fast rocket, 100,000 miles per hour for example. The mechanical watch on your wrist would be delayed over the flight, but you wouldn’t feel like time is being delayed. Why’s that? It’s because the rhythm of your heart would slow down - all of the vital processes in your body that are inside the rocket will slow down."
"As you move more, something called the dilation of time will happen.” He steps to the side, as if to illustrate the point, only to find himself stumbling a little, like if the ground beneath his feet had moved. “T-Time slows down,” John tries to recover it smoothly, but everything’s starting to feel, weirdly, like it’s shaking, and he doesn’t think it’s the anxiety anymore, “and that's-"
John doesn’t get to finish his sentence because there’s an abrupt shift and a loud cracking from under him, and getting off the stage suddenly seems like a good idea. Someone screams outside, and the volume in the room skyrockets as the children start panicking. John’s one hundred percent sure this wasn't anything planned.
He knew he shouldn't have come.
Earthquake? He wonders first, then; Tsunami? Ground slip? Hurricane? Whichever it is, John has to prioritise calming the people and evacuating them out of the building. The giant glass panels above them are trembling with the force of the shaking, and, as a professional at this sort of thing, Thunderbird Five’s Space Monitor doesn’t like the look of it one bit.
"Everyone calm down,” He has to shout to make himself heard over the roar of people, even with the microphones pointed his way, “This is a normal thing. All we have to do is evacuate immediately, as calmly. as. possible. I don't want anyone crowding the exits, do you all understand what I just said?" The front rows, white faced with fear, nod encouragingly at him, and he watches as they begin to lead the way toward the glowing green signs that signal the emergency exits. Immediately after making sure the crowd is moving, John pulls up his comm to contact Gordon.
"Gordon, are you on the line?” John’s a little breathless and he climbs down from the precarious stage, into the throng of terrified bodies, “We have a situation in here."
"Let me guess, you caused it?" Gordon seems so excited to hear something other than his brother's boring lecture that humour has outweighed his professionalism.
"Gordon,” John grits his teeth, “I'm being serious right now, there was a huge movement in the ground beneath the Chino Roque Theater, and it's still ongoing. Tell Alan to do a check on what's happening beneath us using the Ground Penetrating Radar." He orders.
"F.A.B." Comes the far more serious response, before Gordon clicks off the line to do just that. Squashing down any fear he’d about the now swelling, shuffling crowd, John opens his arms wide and walks toward them, the motion sort of like he’s trying to herd sheep, as he tries to evacuate the people safely out of the building.
He’s not exactly an expert at being on the scene during rescues.
"John, there's a landslide going on right now,” Alan’s worried little voice comes ringing out of his comm speakers, “Right next to the theatre. You’d better get out of there. I’m monitoring the situation, but it’s looking like you’re going to need International Rescue to get you and the people out of there. The debris field is spreading fast." John would do almost anything to be up there instead, at his own screens. “I've contacted Virgil and Scott, I’m patching them through now.” Alan clicks Scott and Virgil, both clearly just finishing their suit up sequences, into the conversation. It seems important to keep them up to date with John's developing situation.
"Hey Mr. Tracy, how are you holding up?" Scott jokes over the roar of his launching Thunderbird, the sound filling the background of the call with white-noise, "Oh, and how was your lecture?" John thinks he sounds far too casual in contrast to the impending danger all around him.
"Oh my God, Scott, is now really the time?” John groans, and a kid with mousey blond hair not dissimilar to Alan’s looks up at him, very confused, before the astronaut waves him on, “You are an adult person,” He reminds his big brother, “Please don't be like Gordon right now. He’s practically still a child."
"Hey!” Gordon had clearly overheard the conversation between his brothers, and springs up to defend himself. “I'm only two or three years younger than you!" He complains, not about to do the math.
"Gordon, we don't have time for arguing about that now,” John frowns, “and Scott, I'm holding up alright at the moment. Please don't ask me anything about the lecture until I get back home." If his voice cracks a little on that last bit, he’ll never admit it.
"Okay, okay I won't ask anything about that,” Scott reassures him, his amused, big brother grin very much in place, “Keep on evacuating the people safely until we arrive John, you’re doing great. It won’t take us that long. ETA at 15,000 mph is sixteen minutes.” He reassures, “We’ll be there before you know it."
"F.A.B. Scott." He reluctantly signs off. Now that he’s finished talking with Scott, John’s pleased to see that a lot of people have already made their way out of the atrium’s three sets of double doors, evacuating the building to get as far away from the landslide as possible. His fingers itch to pull up the schematics from Thunderbird Five on his comm, no matter what the people around him might think. He quickly caves, and it feels worth it to be able to see the incoming tide of slipping land.
They don’t have much time.
“Let’s go!” He shouts, chivvying. He’s a little breathless with the tension, so he keeps things short. “Come on! Let’s move guys!”
From his vantage near the crumbling stage, John can make out Lady Penelope and Parker by the main doors, ushering people through, and the sight of them fills him instantly with immense relief.
“Okay, that's a good amount of people out.” John has to jog to catch up with them, skirting around a little old lady with a zimmer frame and taking a second to correct her course, “Lady Penelope, Parker, I think you should go and check on the people who’re out. They could have minor injuries from the stampede, and International Rescue are still ten minutes out. I'll make sure the last few stragglers exit safely."
Penelope just nods, pale and worried. Her blond brows are all pinched in together, nervous and Parker looks practically haggard as he claps a reassuring hand on John’s shoulder, her faithful old companion following her pink shape dutifully out the doors. Hopefully they’ll go make sure that no one was badly injured in any way.
Turning back to the slow cascade of cracking rubble behind him, John finds the stage area has been all but obliterated, and his heart aches for the patrons of the Chino Roque Theater who’ll have to rebuild from scratch when this is over. He imagines the Tracy fund can contribute a significant amount toward that though. They often do for worthy causes.
John pushes the damp curl of his slightly sweaty bangs out of his eyes and climbs over what looks like a twisted piece of ceiling girder toward the sound of people, possibly trapped stragglers, who are calling for help.
"I miss Thunderbird 5 so much,” John mutters, keeping it under his breath so that no one hears him, as his palms are scraped raw against the concrete he’s trying to clamber around. There’s a rippp of fabric on a jagged piece of metal and the knee of his previous pristine brown jeans meets much the same fate as his poor, scuffed hands. “Oh, come on!” He’s having no luck today, “I'd so rather be assisting the situation from space. I can’t believe I’m stuck here." John grumbles, to no one in particular. He’s just not built for this kind of thing. Heavy labour and getting sweaty pulling people out of scrap heaps is what his other brothers do. At least rescues in space don’t have all this… gravity to contend with.
"John?” The crackle of a comm cut’s across his complaints, “What’re you still doing in there?” Gordon’s voice breaks him from his thoughts, little brother’s tone heavy with concern. “The building could fall any moment! You're so lucky the landslide isn't moving very fast, but it’s not gonna stay that way forever." Gordon was really worried about the fact that his older brother was still inside. “It could engulf the building! You need to hurry it up, bro.”
"I'm evacuating the people as fast as I can,” John gets both hands under the armpits of a boy who couldn’t be older than seven, and swings him above a pile of rubble toward safety, “I'll be out in no ti- Ah!"
John’s voice gets cut off with a startled cry, and it takes Gordon a second or two, time John might not have, to remember how to breathe so that he can yell in any way coherently into his comm. His eyes are wide, his anxiety levels through the roof as he tries, and fails, to rouse his brother on the other end.
"SCOTT! You need to get there now.” Gordon’s aware that he’s totally losing his cool, panic creeping in over his weak layer of professionalism, “I just lost contact with John.” He gasps, “He was evacuating people and I heard him yell and now he’s not responding! And- and it's not just him. There were other people he was trying to get out."
"Hey Gordon,” Scott tries to keep his voice steady to inject some kind of stability into the conversation, “Don't lose your cool yet. I'm sure nothing that bad happened to John. Just stay your positive self, okay? I’m arriving right now and Virgil isn’t far behind me."
Thunderbird One is panning over the city, low enough to ruffle the hair of people looking up, but it’s not a problem until the usually so sure and steady pilot finds his hands nearly slipping off her controls as Scott catches his first, horrific glimpse of the building that he knows his younger brother is inside.
“What the…?”
The Chino Roque Theater is almost flat.
"Virgil,” Scott swallows hard to try and remove any of the tremor from his voice, “A-Are you seeing what I'm seeing right now?" He almost succeeds.
"Scott this isn't a joke, it looks like half of the building has come down with the landslide! John’s in there!" Virgil sounds more terrified than Scott thinks he’s ever heard him. What scares him the most is that the exit was on the side that has fallen in, which means that a lot of people are trapped under it, their John included. "Scott, we need to help them right now.
"Okay, here's the plan,” Scott’s hands tighten white-knuckled on the steering yoke, “You wear your exo-suit and go clear the debris out of the way so that we can save them, and I'll get rid of that roof with Thunderbird One and check for life signs. Remember that saving lives is our top priority, got it? No matter what’s happened to John."
"F.A.B." Virgil sounds incredibly tense. He lands Thunderbird Two as fast as he can in the crowded, limited space. Local people are beginning to make their way out of their houses to see what all the commotion is about, and the cramped city streets aren’t ideal for International Rescue’s four hundred and six ton workhorse.
Two’s pilot struggles into his exo-suit, rushing to get the Jaws of Life prepared despite Scott’s insistence that he focus and take things slow and sensible. It’s not long until he finds himself digging among the debris looking for buried people and, in the white rush of it all, Virgil’s not even sure how he got there.
"Scott,” he presses on his comm, “Please tell me you’ve got something?"
"Fortunately and thankfully yes,” It’s hard to find the hopefulness in big brother’s clipped Mobile Control voice, but it’s there to Virgil’s expert ear, drizzled in nervous relief. “I've got a whole cluster of life signs,” Scott reports, “BPM signalling in the green. "I think they’re just trapped under the debris." Alan’s echolocation report came back suggesting that there’s a big space under what could be folded sheet metal from the ceiling, that they’ve huddled in. I'm really sure there's nothing that bad, but still we have to continue otherwise it will take a bad turn for us and the people in there."
“I can use the grappling cables in Thunderbird One to take the strain off the roof,” Scott adds, “But I need you in there to get those people out.”
“Already on my way,” Virgil ducks under some rebar, skirting around the rubble and pulling away loose debris as he goes. His heart is loud in his own ears, and Virgil hopes the creak and groan of metal and concrete above him is Scott lifting the weight off the roof, keeping it from collapsing any further onto the people below, and not anything more sinister. Virgil gets peppered by a slide of small stones, but the roof holds steady.
He presses on until he catches sight of the cluster of around forty people, all huddled together around a tall, central figure with a shocking amount of rubble dust smeared over his face, and powdered through his ginger hair.
“John!” Two’s pilot makes a beeline for his brother, despite the fact three of the people are stuck under rubble. Clearly John’s in control of the situation here, and he’s never wanted a mission update from their Space Monitor so much in his life. He can’t help but hone in on the fact John's left arm is crudely wrapped in a piece of cloth from his sleeve, which he must’ve ripped off in order to tie it.
"You have to tell me exactly what happened,” Virgil drops the controls for the Jaws of Life, and grasps his brother’s biceps in both hands instead, resisting the very strong temptation to pull the spaceman in for a hug. “And what happened to your arm?!?" There’s a river of blood seeping from beneath the make-shift bandage, but John, it seems, isn’t bothered by it in the slightest.
"Not now Virgil.” His concerns get thoroughly dismissed, “We’ve got to get these people out of here, and then I'll tell you everything." Virgil didn't like the idea that something happened to his brother and he's silent about it, but after all John was right about saving the people first since his arm is under control for now.
John crouches by the nearest injured person; a pale, skinny teen with a sizable piece of rebar keeping him pinned.
“You’re gonna be out of there in just a second, Lito.” Virgil watches him reassuring the young man for a long moment, “Uh, Virgil?” John prompts. “Any time?”
“What?” He blinks, “Oh, yeah!” His brother is clearly waiting expectantly for him to use the Jaws of Life to get the poor kid out. "I’m on it, but you better tell me everything after we're done saving them." Virgil demands. “But, uh, Scott’s kind of holding the roof up right now, so you’re probably right.”
"Okay,” John literally rolls his eyes, busy stealing a pair of blue rubber gloves from the Med Kit Virgil brought with him, and snapping them on to protect his hands and the fine cuts he’d gotten from climbing over rubble. “I promise I'll tell you everything, but can we start actually rescuing them now?" Rolling his eyes right back, the bigger man uses his exosuit to heft the rubble off Lito, before John swoops in to apply pressure to his injuries.
“Give me the fold out stretcher from your sash.” He orders, hands bloodied “Then go get the next person out. Efifania, Sergio?” John beckons a pair of nearby dad’s in closer, clearly having singled them out as capable stretcher bearers. “Think you can manage Lito here for me?”
As Virgil starts removing the rubble from above the other two trapped people, a middle aged man and a younger woman, it becomes immediately obvious that both of them have more severe wounds than young Lito. They both need medical treatment immediately.
“I’ll carry one of them.” Without the three extra sets of hands he’d need, Virgil has to leave a couple of crowd members applying pressure to their wounds, as he moves back to where John is helping Lito unsteadily to his feet. “Think you can walk, young man? We’re gonna need that stretcher for the big guy.”
“I won’t let you fall.” John promises, and Virgil feels a real swell of pride at how well his brother is handling the situation whilst being outside of both his space station and his comfort zone. It looks like having a rescue and a job to do really gives him no time for anxiety. "I agree that that's our best plan.” He adds, nodding, short and sharp, to confirm it, then John turns, an arm around Lito’s waist and the kid’s arm slung over his shoulder, to address the crowd.
“Anyone not so severely hurt needs to help get the injured out of here.” John instructs, the small crowd listening raptly. The look on the faces of these scared people is one Virgil is all too familiar with, but he knows John has far less experience of in person. They’re really looking to him as their saviour. “Virgil here is going to lead us through the path he just made.” Which is news to Virgil, but does seem like the best plan. “International Rescue will then be able to take us all to the hospital to get checked out, and then I’m sure you’ll be released to go home to your families before you know it. Got it everyone?"
In that moment Virgil finds himself struck with amazement at how John seems to have become almost as fearless as Scott, as they started carrying the two injured people out to safety. It was really a new side to him that Virgil doesn’t think he’s ever seen before.
"Virgil… I need you to check on Lady Penelope and Parker.” John’s keeping pace at his side, helping the boy they’d dug out along as he goes, “I told them to check to see if anyone was hurt."
"Hmm, yeah you're right.” Virgil frowns. If Penny and Parker have any more injured party members, even minor ones that just need a check up, Thunderbird Two will need to evacuate them to the hospital as well. “Have you got any idea where they might be?"
"Well, I told them to get somewhere away from the landslide,” John frowns, as their limping, shocky party stumbles out into the bright light of day, to be greeted by the roar of Thunderbird One’s engines high above them. “They should be near here.” He yells over the sound of it.
As usual, it turns out that John is completely right. Penny and Parker are waiting for them, but neither John nor Virgil find the look on Lady Penelope's face all that reassuring.
"JOHN!” She rushes toward the battered, bloodied spaceman, her arms outstretched. Virgil very quickly and carefully finagles poor Lito out of the way as his brother gets ambushed. “Are you okay?!?” Penelope demands, frantic, “What happened to your arm?” She reaches for the bloodied bandage, and John winces, “I'm so sorry,” All of John’s carefully constructed rules around personal space are shattered as she cups his cheek, inspecting his face for injury. It’s lucky that John is by far the most patient of the Tracy boys. “I shouldn't have left you there.
"She’d been so terrified, perhaps more than anyone else here. The horrific view she’d seen with her own eyes is going to haunt her for a long time yet. One second she was getting out of the building to reassure and check up on the people, and the next she was watching half the structure collapse completely, with John under the side that fell. She still feels a little sick.
"I'm so, so, so sorry John,” She repeats, before he can get a word in edgeways to reassure her, “Please, you must tell me if there's any way I can make it up to you. Ask me anything and I'll do it."
"Okay guys,” Virgil chuckles, “while you talk things out I'll go to get the injured people aboard Thunderbird 2. Make it quick though, we’ve still got people who need immediate medical treatment, got it?"
"F.A.B. Virgil.” John nods, “We'll be quick. Penny, I..."
“I’m so sorry.” She repeats again, and pulls his good arm over her shoulder as if to steady him as they make their way at the back of the crowd toward the big green Thunderbird.
"No no no, Penny, please stop apologising.” John’s fingers tighten for a quick moment on her shoulder, in brief reassurance, “I'm not going to ask you for anything because it was never your fault.” He insists, “It was just some bad luck, that's all. Fortunately I, and most people, got out safe with no severe wounds. These things happen.”
“Your arm.” She points out softly, hoping that all that blood looks worse than it is, “John I can’t believe you stayed behind like that, it’s so...”
“Tracy?” He grins, amused but very weary.
“Scott Tracy.” She corrects, scowling a little as she holds on just that little bit tighter around his waist as his adrenaline from the rescue starts to flag. “I thought you had more common sense.”
“Hate to disappoint.” She feels the warmth of him chuckling, “I’m lucky it was nothing worse than his cut from some shattered glass that fell on my arm while I was helping one of the guys who got stuck. I don’t think any arteries or anything have been damaged, but it is... kinda deep." And he might be getting a little lightheaded from the blood loss. Still, he really wants to reassure her, just like she had reassured him before he’d gone in to give the lecture.
"Hate to interrupt your moment, but are you guys done?" Scott pops up from who-knows-where amongst the crowd to yell at them. He’s clearly joined the relief effort. "Virgil’s just finished getting everyone aboard Thunderbird 2, and he's ready to launch." He adds, squinting at the pale, wobbly mess of his brother. "And you really do need to check your arm. That looks nasty.”
"Yeah Scott,” John wipes a tired hand over his dirty face, dislodging dust, “We're done. Don’t let Thunderbird Two wait for me, I'll hitch a ride with Lady Penelope, uh,” He turns to her, bashful, to check, “If that’s okay?"
“Of course,” Her Ladyship concedes, “Scott?” She is mildly concerned that big brother might want to have the injured member of his flock under his wing so he can smother him.
"Yeah sure, ride whatever you want.” Scott flip flops a dismissive hand at them, “You can ride a pod, I won't care as long as your destination is the hospital."
"How about you, Gordon?” John knows his little brother is still on the line, probably sulking. “Is it okay if I take the ride with Lady P?"
"W-what do you mean by that?” Gordon sounds confused and maybe a little embarrassed, like he’s been caught out. “Scott already said you should go, why’re you asking me?"
"Well, she's your girlfriend.” John grins, teasing, as Penny helps him into the back of FAB1. “Of course I have to get permission from her boyfriend.
"Penny swats at him for that, amused, but careful not to hit his injured arm. She doesn’t need anyone’s permission to do anything, but it is fun to see Gordon squirm - especially as Scott and Virgil both crack up, and even Alan in space starts teasing him.
"What?!?” Gordon’s face, bless that darling young man, has gone bright red. “J-Just go already." He ducks off the comm screen to try and hide his embarrassment, but it’s far too late for that.
He’s lucky that Penelope finds it incredibly endearing.
"John,” She nudges him, as the Tracy’s all click off the line to go do their actual jobs. She’s a little concerned that he’s looking a bit spaced out, if you’ll excuse the pun, and it’s probably a good idea to keep him talking. “You know we're still going to The Pagasa Observatory, just like I promised you, right?"
"Wait really?” John’s head tilts, a little floppy, towards her from where it had been sinking into FAB1’s luxurious headrests. He’s looking a little grey, but it’s good to see his eyes open. “After all that happened?” A ginger eyebrow quirks, “Are you sure there's time for that?"
"Well, we’re on our way to the hospital now, but there’ll be plenty of time this afternoon.” As long as the medics give him a clean bill of health. “You can change your clothes after we're done checking your arm then there should be time for you to go see that big telescope you've been dreaming of visiting. After all, I did promise you we’d go there after we're done."
"Well, that sounds good to me!” John smiles like there’s a supanova fuling him, “Penny you’re the best."
They reach the hospital a little after International Rescue has dropped off the fourty or so injured people, and so there’s quite a wait for a Doctor to be free so that they can have a look at John’s poor, sliced arm. Penny seems to be doing a worried hover at his side, while he waits, shaky from blood loss, and though he’s not used to having so much company, John has to admit it’s nice to have a chance to catch up with his old friend with no rescue alarms blaring.
Alan reports in that the two worst injured in the landslide have been hospitalized as fast as possible, that they were stable - the doctors have said their prognosis looked good. He also tells him that Lito’s family had been asking after the redheaded lecturer who’d helped him out of the rubble, and that John Tracy, M.Sci, PgDip, B.Lang Hons, should probably expect a gift basket in the mail quite soon.
John gets quite flustered about that. He’d just been doing his job.
The spaceman's arm was eventually treated, and Scott calls in to ask what actually happened to his arm. It still hurts, a properly bandaged throb just under his elbow, but not like before. The painkilling injection and little bit of morphine they’d given him when they stitched it up had probably helped with that.
Alan’s reports dug up that the landslide had been caused by a water main leaking under the building, and destabilizing the soil. Over time, water can do a lot of damage, washing away vital infrastructure if it’s not been properly reinforced during construction.
As the Chino Roque Theater was a new build, there must have been a mistake in the installation of the pipes during construction.
Someone was getting a big lawsuit heading their way, and Tracy Enterprises will be more than happy to fund the lawyers for the theatre.
As Lady Penelope promised him, they found John a change of clothes and went to the Pagasa Observatory. Penny’s quite sure she’s never seen anything as wholesome as the moment John sees the telescope - his eyes went all shiny, and the smile on his face was massive.
"Lady Penelope, Parker come take a look at the stars!!!” He calls, over his shoulder, with the enthusiasm of a boy half his age, “They’re really beautiful from here!" With such a high-powered lens pointed up at the cosmos, it rivals even his view from Thunderbird Five.
"Indeed, they are." Lady Penelope and Parker both step up to take turns, but John was the one to look through the telescope the most. With all the stealth her years as a secret agent offered her, Lady Penelope took a picture of him.
"Parker, come take a look." She whispers, beckoning her old companion gleefully over. "He looks so happy and innocent in this picture. Wouldn’t it be lovely to see his face like this always?"
"We still have some time before they close,” Parker points out, a sly grin creeping onto his nosey old face. “How h’bout we leave him like this for a little longer?"
"That, Parker.” she smiles, “Is an excellent idea.”
The End
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tosikoarts · 3 years
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Modern AU Ogata BF HC
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Hey-hey! It took some time but there you go, honey ♡ Got carried away thinking about how Ogata feeding stray cats >>> everything else.  Hope you enjoy these headcanons!!  You can check tosikowrites tag for more.
General:
Noda once said that in a modern setting Ogata would be a dentist but let me disagree with him. I can clearly see Ogata as a photographer, a successful one, the one that allows himself to be arrogant without a fear that his client will drop him. Thanks to the unique style and skillful handling of light, Ogata quickly became popular among ordinary photography lovers and pompous snobs and now he does not miss a single opportunity to prick the latter. Knows he is good at what he is doing and takes full advantage of this.
Despite what is written above, Ogata still lives in a small apartment on the outskirts of Sapporo and doesn’t plan to move out in the nearest future. Partially it is due to the feeling of emancipation from beloved father and the sweetest stepbrother who cannot stop prying into his affairs. Last month Yuusaku has sneaked to the private galleries where Ogata was presenting his new photoshoots two times leaving Hyakunosuke in a state of stupid stupor when he was welcomed with a warm brotherly hug.
Still a salty little bitch online. Has few throwaway accounts to start a discourse on any topic that is even minimally discussable. Is immune to death threats at this point. Has met Vasily online and can’t stop discussing Russian politics with him from whatever crazy thing Vladimir Zhirinovsky has said (Ogata loses thousands of brain cells reading articles about him) to the news about the alleged Putin palace. He now knows some Russian too, mostly swear words and basic phrases.
Constantly torn between I don’t need anybody and if I don’t interact with a human being in a less hostile manner I will go apeshit. Meets up with Shiraishi, Sugimoto, Tanigaki, and Kiroranke once in a while to piss off Sugi and teasingly ask Tanigaki if he wants another nude photo shoot. By the way, he lives on black coffee with no sugar or milk so Ogata often runs into Tsukishima when the man orders a triple espresso and teriyaki chicken sandwich. If Koito is not here, they chat for a little secret wish to never meet again. Then they meet next week and the situation repeats itself as in a Groundhog Day.
There is no place for another cat in his apartment but Ogata loves cats and makes sure to feed and pet every one on his street. Once raised a whole litter of kittens whose mother was sadly hit by a car and became an adoptive father for three big bois who visit his apartment complex for free head pats and treats. Doesn’t share this part of his life since Ogata doesn’t want to be seen as a kindhearted person lmao.
BF HC:
Where could you meet Ogata if not on Tinder? The description of his profile was extremely cryptic and consisted only of name, height, and weight, nothing else. The first few days of talking to him feel like you are being looked down on even though Ogata acts pretty friendly and puts some effort into getting to know you out of casual wyd and you up texts. Goes offline for a few days then comes back with no explanations whatsoever. This first stage is a pure test of patience because Ogata knows he is not the best man around and can be a real pain in the ass. The sooner they get to know his bad side the better.
He doesn’t get fancy dates like candlelight dinner or going to the theater. Doesn’t mix work and personal life either so do not expect an exclusive invitation to his personal exhibitions. Ogata prefers hasteless walks along the river, ice-skating under the myriad of holiday garlands, playing mortal combat late at night with empty takeaway boxes chilling on the table. Cheap and comfy. If his newfound partner doesn’t know how to skate or rollerblade, Ogata will be twice as persistent: he likes to see them slowly learning how to skate as much as holding their hand through the night.
Vasily likes to draw. Ogata loves to take photos. For the first anniversary, he has collected a whole ton of photos for a cute collage. He took one when they were spinning in the kitchen like a whirligig making sure soup wasn’t too salty and noodles were just right for adding a sauce. Another one was taken when they both were trying old-fashioned pieces from the thrift shop looking like a modern-day John Lennon and Yoko Ono. They fell asleep right on top of Ogata and he managed to take a selfie kissing them on the top of their head. Put all the pieces together with texts and custom ring and voila – Ogata’s present is ready.
Teasing borders with light insults though he does not always realize it. Calls his partner silly in the sweetest tone before showing how to do the thing right. Pillow fights last until fluff flies from the pillows and Ogata won’t stop tickling them until tears stream down their cheeks. Says fuck me both as call to action and disappointed sigh with the same intonation so have fun figuring this man out. Absolute treasure and curse in one person and he won’t ever admit it but he is trying so hard to suppress the urge to push them away as a defense mechanism. Never apologizes but crawls back to them after every argument.
Speaking of which, arguments are common but rarely end up in loud door slam or hysteria. Usually, it happens when Ogata can’t control himself and pushes too many buttons of theirs so his teasing ends up being too harsh… Anyway, the cat got Ogata’s tongue and he doesn’t know how to use words to ask for forgiveness but! When he feels like it is definitely his fault, Ogata will cook ankonabe as unspoken sorry, I’ve messed up a big time and don’t know how to fix it, please don’t be mad, please talk to me. It’s rare but if he really feels this way Ogata will be stick like glue to them fearing that this time they will definitely leave him and his shitty camera all alone again.
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gumnut-logic · 3 years
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Take Me Home
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This is @tsarinatorment​ ‘s fault. She wrote this amazing fic where neither Gordon or Scott come out particularly well. Please read the warnings on that fic before reading.
Consequently, the Virgil in my head went completely apeshit and demanded to be heard.
So, here we have a sequel to @tsarinatorment​ ‘s fic where Virgil arrives on scene.
Thank you to both @tsarinatorment​ and @janetm74​ for the readthough and support.
No real warnings on this one. Scott and Gords haven’t had a good time and a lot of Virgil comfort was needed. I hope you enjoy it :D
-o-o-o-
The air burned as Thunderbird Two killed speed above Brize Norton, her presence forecast by an urgent Thunderbird Five.
Three words.
“We found him.”
It had been a week since Scott had disappeared from a night club in Italy. A business conference that his brother had both been loathing and anticipating. The former because of the smarmy hangers on, the second for the chance at a little nightlife.
Security was an issue. It was always an issue. But Kayo had been on it.
A bomb, three dead security guards, five dead civilians and a nightclub of terrified patrons had been the result.
How far someone would go to obtain a Tracy had been underestimated.
And Scott was gone.
Kayo went mad. Horrified and furious, she was inconsolable. She disappeared, the only proof of life a word or two from an equally apoplectic Penelope.
They would find him or die trying.
John wasn’t much better. His initial frantic was replaced with cold and calculated. Eos was everywhere.
But despite all that, despite the power and skill of the Tracy legacy, it still took five days to discover even an inkling of what had happened.
A cult. A bunch of fanatics who claimed Scott was a messiah or something.
Virgil stood in the lounge staring at Penelope’s lips as they explained that his brother was still missing and they still didn’t even know where to look.
By evening Gordon was gone as well.
It was Alan who discovered their aquanaut’s absence and if Virgil clung to his little brother just a little longer than was needed, his excuse was simply that he needed to do SOMETHING and if comfort was all he could give, then by god, he was going to give it.
Another two days. With half his family missing it was Grandma who kept him sane. Grounded him in a way no meagre hobby of use of his hands could do.
And then Aunt Val finally made the call.
“We found him.”
Thunderbird Two hit the ground with a thump. Eyes of GDF personnel stared up at her, but Virgil ignored them as he grabbed a medkit, lowered himself to the tarmac and ran.
Scott had been found.
It was with hope and a little dread that he followed the GDF aide into the depths of the building.
The dread increased as he was led to an office that clearly did not hold his brother. The desk and two chairs only emphasized the emptiness of the room.
The moment his godmother walked in, his heart plummeted.
“Where is he?”
Her eyes were kind. “Virgil, he’s safe. He’s with Gordon.”
“Gordon?”
Aunt Val looked away and sat down on the edge of the desk. “Yes, your brother was very…persistent in this matter.”
Virgil frowned. Gordon had worked with the GDF? “I would have thought that would be expected.” A breath. “Are they okay?”
Aunt Val looked back at him. “Yes. Though Scott is still unconscious. A harmless sedative according to scans. Gordon has him.”
“Then why am I here and not with them?” His fists clenched and unclenched.
She looked down at his gloved hands before again catching his eyes. “They will be here shortly.” A small frown crinkled her forehead. “Virgil…tread carefully.”
The words were meant kindly, but they only wound him up more. Where were his brothers?
Before he could say anything, the door behind him was nudged open and Gordon staggered in carrying their eldest brother.
Virgil didn’t think. He just acted.
“Oh god, Gordon!”
He moved in, reaching for them, only to have his little brother stagger backwards out of reach.
“Gordon?” The aquanaut was ever so pale, his face a little scratched as if he had been scrubbing it with his fingernails. The GDF uniform was baggy on him as if it didn’t quite fit properly. But it was his eyes that were the worst.
They were haunted.
“Gordy?”
His brother blinked as Scott’s head lolled against his shoulder. “Virg?”
Ever so gentle. “Hey, Fish.”
Gordon’s arms were trembling under his brother’s weight, his white knuckles clinging to the sickly grey of Scott’s uniform.
“Can I see him?” Virgil took a small step forward, his eyes on Scott.
Gordon blinked. “Sure.” But the aquanaut made no offer to come any closer.
“Do you want to sit down? Here…” Virgil grabbed one of the chairs and gestured Gordon to sit in it.
Virgil bit the inside of his cheek.
But Gordon slid into the chair and Virgil was thankful. His little brother was so pale…
But Scott…Virgil crouched down and reached into the medkit, grabbing the scanner. The flash of yellow startled Gordon and his eldest brother was drawn closer to the aquanaut. Regardless, the readouts started streaming back to the tablet in Virgil’s hand.
Oh, thank god.
It was as his godmother had said. Unconscious, but his vitals were good. Strong indicators of a familiar but mostly harmless sedative in his system. He may as well have been asleep.
Of course, Virgil would be happier if he were awake, but he was so grateful to be seeing him after so long, it knotted in his throat.
But he couldn’t let the relief flow just yet.
There was definitely something wrong with Gordon.
The yellow light flickered over his fish brother and he flinched again.
It was both a relief and a worry that only Gordon’s historic injuries registered. Inflammation was forming at the base of his spine, probably in reaction to the weight he was carrying. Scott was far from light. Virgil knew from experience. Gordon had the arms and the strength, but not the stability and it was likely adrenalin and desperation were a big player in the fact his little brother could still clutch Scott to his chest.
Virgil slipped the scanner and tablet back into the medkit and quietly dropped it to the floor.
Pulling off his gloves, he let them drop to the floor beside the kit.
Gordon’s eyes followed his every move.
A pause, and then holding his breath, Virgil reached out and lay a gentle hand on Gordon’s shoulder.
When his brother didn’t flinch away, he squeezed gently. “Let’s take him home.”
Gordon blinked at him, staring.
“Gordon?”
Another blink. “Yes. Virgil. Take him home.”
But his brother didn’t move.
Scott continued to breathe evenly against Gordon’s collar bone.
Virgil reached out and brushed a finger through Scott’s hair, both for himself and to gauge Gordon’s response.
His fish brother immediately drew Scott in tighter and away from Virgil.
The medic let a quiet breath out between his teeth.
He knew what this was. There were textbooks and diagnoses and he had encountered it in the field himself many times.
It hurt more when it was a brother.
Cautiously but determined, Virgil moved the hand on Gordon’s shoulder to the back of his neck and the bare skin there. Pressing warm palm to tense neck muscles, he leant in and touched his forehead to Gordon’s ever so softly.
Quiet. Loving. “He’s safe, Gords. You can let go. You’ve saved him.”
There was nothing at first, other than a fine tremble of muscles used past their limit.
Then…
“Virgil?” His name was little more than a sob.
“I’ve got you. You’re safe. Scott’s safe. We can go home.” A pause. He exhaled, relief in his voice. “We can go home.”
There was a strangled sound before Gordon once again went silent. But his head slipped slowly past Virgil’s to land on his shoulder.
A moment of hesitation, wary his brother might bolt, and Virgil slid his other arm around both Scott and his little brother.
There was no sound other than Scott’s even breathing.
Gordon continued to tremble.
Virgil sat there, giving his brother time. He didn’t know what had happened to either of them, but he did know it was bad and it hurt.
His heart ached for Gordon and feared what would happen when Scott awoke. What horrors had both of them witnessed? How badly were his brothers injured in ways no medical scanner could ever reveal?
If he clung a little to both of them, he felt he had enough reason.
But Gordon was obviously exhausted and Scott needed to go home. Scanner or no scanner, Virgil wouldn’t be happy until they were both safe on Tracy Island under the watchful eye of Grandma.
He pulled away slowly to find Gordon almost asleep and blinking up at him wearily.
Virgil caught those tired eyes. “Let me help you.” He slipped his arms under Scott and gently lifted him away from Gordon.
Gordon continued to stare blearily.
“C’mon, bro. Let’s go home.”
Scott’s head lolled on Virgil’s shoulder as the engineer pushed himself to his feet arms full of big brother. Big being the keyword.
Gordon blinked, looked at his empty lap and then back up at Virgil.
“I’ve got him, Gords.”
The aquanaut stared a moment longer before nodding once and getting to his feet. He reached down and grabbed the medkit and Virgil’s gloves as if an automaton.
Virgil eyed him a moment longer before turning towards the door.
The expression on Aunt Val’s face stopped him in his tracks.
Her eyes were wide, but he frowned at her and stopped her from saying anything.
A swallow and she held the door. They slipped through quietly.
Corridors and doors and finally the ever so welcome sight of his ‘bird.
Gordon walked beside him as Two lowered her hatch. Stepping aboard, Virgil turned and nodded at their godmother who had followed them out.
No words were necessary.
Gordon leant in and his head touched Virgil’s shoulder.
A moment and the hatch retrieved them into Two’s belly.
They were going home.
-o-o-o-
FIN.
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primatechnosynthpop · 3 years
Text
Wow! Against all odds, I finally got around to actually writing the follow-up to I'm Gonna Be The Anti-Hero that's existed exclusively in my head for months! Well uh here it is :3
---
The secret underground room beneath Plymouth rock was dark and silent as always, save for the faint dripping of water through a crack in the ceiling. It figured that, after living there for countless centuries, the structural integrity would finally begin to erode. That dripping sound, although highly irritating when it first started a month or so ago, had now settled into background noise which John Smith paid no attention to. He was a pilgrim, not a witch; it wasn't like the water could hurt him.
Then again, he realized a few moments too late one rainy spring day, perhaps he should have reevaluated that statement. He was minding his own business sitting in his chair and reminiscing about the very old days (that was the only thing he could really do anymore, slowly decaying as his body was) when the soft and steady dripping suddenly escalated at an exponential rate into what sounded like a small waterfall. He turned his head to see a semi-transparent humanoid figure taking shape out of the water pooling in the corner--strangely tinted red, as though the water were mixed with blood. As the old pilgrim watched, jaw agape, the figure strode purposefully toward him, taking on a more solid form as it did so.
"What are you doing here, intruder?" John Smith demanded, one hand tightening around the hilt of his sword while his other hand reached behind his back to fumble for his musket.
"This secret underground room isn't government sanctioned," the stranger hissed. (Although... was he a stranger? John Smith somehow felt that he'd seen this youngster once before, but he couldn't quite place where or when.) "And you have no official identification registering you as a legal citizen. Not to mention, you haven't been paying taxes... disgraceful."
Before John Smith had the chance to concoct a retort or draw either of his weapons, the masked man's hands were around his throat and crushing his windpipe with a force that could only be driven by an inhuman amount of bloodlust. And within seconds, the life of a pilgrim that had been extended for centuries past its expiration date was finally put to an end.
*
"I can't believe they want us to make a clown movie at a time like this."
"I can believe it," Neil replied without looking up from the shopping list in his hand. "The studio wants a lot from us, remember? They're not going to care how sad we are. Anyway, it's been four months--" The emotions bubbling up within him refused to let his voice stay level, so he gritted his teeth and hissed out the rest of his sentence rather than let himself start crying in the middle of the dollar store. "We should be over it by now."
"Neil..." Kevin began in the way he'd often addressed Neil over the past few months--brow furrowed, voice edged with an obvious and vaguely patronizing concern--only to trail off and shake his head with a sigh. Apparently he'd finally given up on trying to make Neil feel better, which was just fine by him, because things are never gonna go back to the way they were before and it's my fault and I don't deserve to feel good about it.
"Anyway, we've got what we came for," Neil muttered, waving his hand in the general direction of Kevin's shopping basket without looking him in the eyes. "Let's go."
At the checkout counter, the cashier frowned and shook her head when Neil offered her a five-dollar bill. "Sorry," she told them, "But all this is going to cost $29.99."
"What? But we don't have that kind of money!" Neil lamented. "And we got this stuff from the clearance section... plus this is the dollar store, so shouldn't everything just cost a dollar?"
For a visual aid as he spoke, he grabbed one of the items they were ringing up--a bargain pack of multicoloured clown wigs--and shook it in the cashier's face. Apparently unmoved by his bargaining, she pursed her lips and crossed her arms.
"Maybe you should have checked the price tags first, sir."
"Huh? But, but..." Neil trailed off when he looked down at the price tag on the item in his hands. The bright orange tag had the original price, $7.50, crossed out and replaced with $2.35... but then below that, scribbled in tiny and barely legible font, it read "just kidding, it's actually eleven dollars now." "Aw, man," he groaned, tossing the pack down on the conveyor belt and sticking his hands in his pockets. "Just our luck."
Kevin had a thoughtful look in his eyes while he drove them home empty-handed. When he pulled up outside the clubhouse a few minutes later and they climbed out of the truck, he suddenly laid a hand on Neil's shoulder.
"Say, Neil, let's not get discouraged," he said. "I've got another idea for how we could get our hands on some props."
"Really?" Neil asked, perking up despite himself. "How?"
"Well, I think--" Kevin broke off as unexpectedly as he'd started, encouraging smile briefly dipping into a grimace. "...You know what, I'll take care of it myself. You can hold down the fort here, okay? I won't be long."
Neil's brow furrowed. "Okay, but what are you...?"
Without explaining himself any further, Kevin clapped him firmly on the back, hopped back into his truck, and drove off. Neil watched him recede down the road with bewilderment. Being all secretive like that wasn't like Kevin... Unless he's trying to protect me from something, he realized with a twinge of bitterness. That would be just like him, the way things had been recently. Ever since the past winter, and what had happened with Ryan, Kevin's latent big-brother-ish tendencies had escalated; now he watched over Neil like a hawk and freaked out every time he so much as stubbed his toe. Under different circumstances Neil would have relished being fussed over, but now it was more annoying than anything else. The thing was, he didn't deserve it. If anything... his fingers strayed up to absentmindedly fidget with the four-leaf clover pinned to his shirt. I deserve to have bad luck. I deserve to suffer, after what I did to Ryan.
Still, there wasn't much he could do about it now, and he wasn't going to say no to having the clubhouse to himself for a while. With a sigh, he disentangled his fingers from the clover's leaves, ran a hand through his overgrown bangs, and turned to head inside. Maybe he could play cards or something to pass the time.
*
A thick layer of dust had settled over everything in Ryan's house. That made sense, of course. It had been four months--no, five, since Ryan hadn't come home once while he was being a vigilante--since anyone had set foot there. Even so, Kevin was unprepared for the full-scale assault on his lungs when he opened the door, and promptly broke into a coughing fit.
"Man, good thing Neil stayed home," he thought aloud as he batted thick, swirling clouds of dust and spiderwebs out of his face. "The way things have been going for him lately..."
He'd probably choke to death on all this dust, he thought but didn't say aloud, and then felt bad for thinking it in the first place. Kevin didn't understand what had happened to Neil in the course of the past few days, but ever since picking up that clover, he seemed to be having a run of uncharacteristically bad luck. Whether it was random chance or something more suspicious was afoot, it sure wasn't doing much for his already thoroughly frayed nerves.
"Alright, calm down, James," he muttered to himself, shaking his head to clear his thoughts and ideally dispel the rest of the dust. "Focus. Concentrate. What are you here for? Props for your webisode. Right."
Keeping that objective in mind, he made his way past the front entrance and into the living room. There, a few objects were strewn around that caught his eye: a mannequin bust wearing a colourful wig; an eccentrically patterned jacket draped over a chair; a brush dipped into a rusted metal container filled with what he hoped was red paint. After looking around a little more he found a large cardboard box filled with mutilated stuffed animals, which he mostly emptied out and started filling with the useful items he came across.
All the while, a persistent feeling of unease stirred in his gut, becoming increasingly hard to ignore with each belonging of Ryan's he packed away. This is wrong. I shouldn't steal from him. Kevin paused and looked down at the box in his arms with a frown. One of the items sticking out the top, a blank-faced doll head, seemed to stare accusingly back at him. For a moment he saw it not as a plastic figure, but as a human form encased in ice and then broken apart. He blinked and the illusion quickly vanished, but an unsettling feeling remained in its wake. Neil was right; it had been months already. So why did going through Ryan's things make him feel so dirty? Ryan didn't need any of this stuff anymore. He was gone. Wasn't he?
With a weary sigh that, had anyone been around to ask, he would have accredited to the physical exertion of carrying heavy stuff around, Kevin set the box down and stepped back to survey the room he was in now. If he remembered right, this kind of room was called a study--there was an armchair with a few suspicious stains lurking beneath the dust, a desk strewn with papers all scrawled full of nonsense like the ravings of a mad scientist, and an ornate bookshelf. He wandered over to the latter furniture piece and ran his hands along the spines of the books, letting their leathery texture ground him in the present. He noticed several unusual bibles and other ancient texts, and a stash of calendars, some of which he was pretty sure had originally belonged to him or Neil; the up-to-date calendars and one of the more normal-looking bibles went into the box, while he decided everything else was better left where it was.
There was one other set of books he recognized: a teen fantasy series that Neil had often gushed about. Thinking back to the previous fall and all the events he normally tried not to think about, he experimentally lifted one of the fantasy books off the shelf. At once, just as he remembered from when Neil showed him, the bookshelf rumbled to the side and revealed a narrow staircase descending into the basement.
If anyone asked him, Kevin couldn't really say what compelled him to go down those stairs. The secret chamber was as empty as he remembered, with nothing down there that could possibly be of use for the webisode. And without a lantern, he could barely even see the only things that were there to speak of: the paintings of Ryan's ancestors.
"Ryan..." The name manifested on Kevin's lips unexpectedly as he stared, squinting through the dust and darkness, at the row of portraits grinning lopsidedly back at him. He knew the paintings couldn't hear him--hell, they weren't even paintings of Ryan himself, just his relatives. But their faces were practically identical to him, that face he hadn't seen in person for nearly half a year, and that alone was enough to clog up his throat with unbearable emotions.
The thought of It's a good thing Neil isn't here for this surfaced again, and this time Kevin had to agree with himself. Losing a close friend was... well, there was no way not to take it hard. But Neil seemed to have taken it particularly hard, even blaming himself, to the point where any mention of Ryan would immediately send him straight back into a depressive spiral no matter how happy he'd been a moment earlier. That was why Kevin had kept this idea a secret from his friend in the first place--that, and he wasn't sure if it was going to pan out and didn't want to get Neil's hopes up. He figured that if Neil asked where he got all the stuff he'd found, he'd just say it was from a garage sale.
Now, looking into the achingly familiar manic blue eyes of those portraits mounted on the wall, Kevin thought of those news reports about the mysterious killings that had been going on around town. If that really was Ryan, and he was somehow still alive...
"Why?" he whispered. Without really thinking, he reached out and pressed his hand against the painting as if to cup its cheek. "Why haven't you come home, Ryan? Where are you?"
*
The target was at home, alone in her bedroom playing video games. Casual, unbothered by any harm her actions may have caused. Shameful. In an icy swirl of perhaps not-so-righteous fury, the vigilante took form in the corner of her room and crept up behind her. With an average build and no weapons at the ready, she would be no trouble to dispose of.
"Playing dead in order to toy with an innocent man's feelings," he growled. "Some people would call it ghosting. I call it a crime punishable by death."
"Jesus christ, what the fuck?!" Wendy yelped as she spun to face the vigilante. "How'd you get in here?"
"You shouldn't worry about that," he told her, gloved hands already flexing in anticipation of tightening around her neck. Or perhaps this time he'd thrust his hand straight through her chest and rip out her heart--an appropriate punishment for her crimes. "You'll have plenty of time to figure it out once I send you to hell."
"Okay, seriously? What is happening here?" Eyes narrowed, Wendy put her game on pause and got to her feet to stare the vigilante down. "You said something about me playing dead..." Her eyes suddenly widened with recognition, and the vigilante waited for the fear to set in along with it, but instead she shook her head and laughed. A pitying laugh. "Wait, you're not friends with that, uh, that filmmaker guy, are you? Geez, I seriously must have dodged a bullet there."
"Filmmaker..." the vigilante murmured as the word echoed in his mind. Yes, that's right. The man she stood up was a filmmaker... of a sort. (How did he know that? How did he even know who this woman was? Those questions weren't worth dwelling on, he decided.) "You may have thought you dodged a bullet back then, but I'm here to see that the bullet circles back around and destroys you like you deserve."
Wendy crossed her arms and arched an eyebrow, any trace of fear on her face outmatched by her sad, pitying smile. "Sure, keep the edgy sayings coming, Mr. Hot Topic. And what's with the getup, anyway?" she added with a nod to the vigilante's predominantly dark outfit. "Must be kinda warm."
Warm? The vigilante snorted derisively. No, of course he wasn't too warm. His blood, as it always had for as far back as he could clearly remember, ran cold like that of a snake. He couldn't remember a time when he'd been warm. And he certainly couldn't remember a time when he'd worn anything other than his current ensemble. Rather than waste time telling this insufferable woman as much, though, he simply took a few purposeful strides to close the distance between them, hands extended and more than ready to kill.
"Ugh, get away from me, creep!"
In a startlingly swift motion, Wendy's leg shot out and connected with the vigilante's ankles, sending him toppling to the floor. He hissed in irration, though not in pain--when his sensations were already perpetually numb, it would take a lot more than that to hurt him--and got to his feet, dusting himself off with a scowl. In the few seconds this took, Wendy grabbed a baseball bat from the corner of the room. Now she stood brandishing it in perfect athletic form with a battle-ready glint in her eye.
"Not another step, you hear me?" When the vigilante didn't dignify her with a response, she gritted her teeth and gave the bat a twirl--attempting to show off, it seemed, but her hands shook slightly and she nearly dropped the bat, only barely managing to regain her grip on it. "My mom is in the other room right now, and... well, she hasn't done anything wrong, so you don't want to punish her, right? And if anything happens to me..."
He stiffened at Wendy's mention of her mother. An innocent citizen? That was the type of person a vigilante was meant to protect at all costs; otherwise vigilante justice was no better than the police. But no one is innocent in this city. Even so, he understood the implicit threat--not that Wendy's mother would bring him down herself, but that either woman could very well call the police. And the last thing he wanted was to get law enforcement involved.
"...Fine," he snarled at last, turning on his heel with a twirl of his vigilante cape. "You can live a while longer. But I'll be back, and then you'll regret your sins."
He heard her gasp but didn't bother sparing her another glance as he let his form dissolve into a splash of red-tinted ice, sinking through her floorboards and off to thwart another criminal.
*
Slowly and carefully as a technician deactivating a bomb, Neil set the three of spades down across the top of the three other cards he'd lined up on the table. The humble beginnings of a tower stood for a moment, and he held his breath eagerly as he reached for another card to place on top, only for it to suddenly shudder and collapse like an anime girl who'd stood in the rain for too long.
"Dang it!" Neil threw his hands in the air in exasperation. When he did, a droplet of his own blood landed on his glasses, and he realized with a start that his hand was bleeding--just a paper cut, but still, he'd better wash up.
As he ran his hand under cold water, transfixed by the sight of the blood swirling down the drain, a sudden cracking noise rang out just above him. His head snapped up to stare at the spontaneously cracked bathroom mirror. His reflection stared back, stricken and gaunt, as shards of shattered glass rained down into the sink, where they mixed with the water and the blood. Neil shivered, his breath quickening.
Icy water... ice, blood, broken mirrors. All mixed together. Shattered. Blood, guts, ice, mixed together, down the drain. My fault my fault my fault my fault--
"No," he whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut and digging his nails into his scalp as hard as he could. "No! I didn't do it, I didn't... I didn't mean to..."
Deep breaths, a voice in the back of his head reminded him. It sounded like Kevin's voice, worried to the point of being slightly patronizing. Neil grimaced, annoyed at his own brain for manifesting its self-preservation in such a way, but he complied nonetheless. Keeping his eyes wrenched shut, he took several deep breaths in and out until his heartbeat slowed to normal--he hadn't even noticed it speeding up--and his hands didn't shake when he lowered them away from his head.
"Hey, you know what'd really make me feel better?" he said aloud to nobody in particular, putting on a broad smile and wiping his hands off on a towel. "A nice hot bath! Yep, that'll counteract my blood running cold, alright..."
He ran his hands up and down his arms as he spoke, although he didn't know who he was trying to fool; the chill that had settled into his bones had nothing to do with the temperature. In fact, he wasn't entirely sure who this whole performance of forced cheerfulness was meant for... the studio, maybe. He wouldn't put it past them to hide cameras everywhere. Either way, even if it wouldn't fix his psychological issues, a bath really would be pretty nice. He put the plug in and started running the tub, with the water temperature set just hot enough that it would scald him a little at first.
He wasn't sure exactly what happened when he sat down on the edge of the tub to take his socks off, whether he slipped on something or leaned too far back or what, but suddenly he lost balance. And by the time he realized he was falling backward, he only had a split-second to curse his rotten luck before his head connected with the wall and he blacked out.
*
In the end, Kevin managed to get a pretty good haul from Ryan's house. In addition to the stuff he and Neil could use for their webisode, he'd retrieved the calendars and a couple other things it looked like Ryan had stolen from them, as well as their old communicator wristwatches. (He wasn't sure if the watches fell into the camp of things Ryan had stolen, or if they'd just brought them over to his place for a sleepover once and forgotten them there. Either way, Kevin figured it could come in handy to start using them again.)
"Hey, Neil," he called as he stepped into the clubhouse with the box in his arms and kicked the door shut behind him. "I'm back."
There was no reply. Frowning, Kevin set the box down with a slight grunt of effort and wandered through the living room and down the hall. There were a few playing cards scattered on the table, suggesting that Neil had been trying to make a house of cards but given up halfway. Kevin couldn't really blame him for that; assembling cards in such a way that they'd actually stay upright was yet another thing that had been more in Ryan's ballpark than in either of theirs. Still, that didn't explain where Neil was now...
"Neil? You there, bud?" Still being met with no answer, Kevin came to a stop outside the bathroom door, which was ajar with water pooling out from inside. "Oh, man, that's not a good sign..."
He gave a tentative knock, and when there was still no response, grabbed the handle and pushed the door open. The sight that met his eyes when he did so immediately made his breath hitch and his blood run cold. The broken mirror over the vanity reflected his slack-jawed expression as he stared at the overflowing bathtub, the pair of still-clothed legs dangling over the rim, and the smudge of blood on the wall leading down to the head of the man those legs belonged to, slumped inside the tub with his head submerged in the water.
"Neil!!"
Kevin sprinted across the room to lift Neil out of the tub. It then took him a few seconds longer to turn off the faucet and pull the plug, as by that point the shock had turned to dread and his hands were shaking. Once the water was slowly starting to drain, he fell to his knees and pulled Neil tight to his chest, one hand clutching at the back of his soaked-through t-shirt while the other fumbled across the back of his head searching for the source of the blood. It didn't take long for him to find the slightly matted patch of damp hair indicating where Neil had banged his head against the wall. Kevin swallowed hard as dread leapt up to claw at his throat. The only question is... how long was he submerged?
"Neil," he whispered, and was almost embarrassed to hear how hoarsely his own voice came out. "Wake up. Please."
No response. Kevin reluctantly pulled back to hold Neil at an arm's length, and shuddered at how limply his friend's body flopped forward. He noticed, with a white-hot jolt of irrational anger, that the four-leaf clover was still in place. Fat lot of good that thing's done for him. He grabbed the clover and crumpled it in his fist, all the while tears pressed against the back of his eyes; he struggled not to let them fall. Damn it... first Ryan, now Neil... What kind of protector was he? What kind of friend?
He slammed his fist, the useless clover still clenched within, against the drenched floor tiles. At that moment, the lightbulb above his head exploded and sent sparking wires raining down around him. As soon as electricity met water, it sent a nasty shock through Kevin's veins; he screamed out of equal parts surprise and pain and scrambled up onto the countertop, which was barely wide enough to support him.
On the floor below, Neil's body convulsed. Then his eyes snapped open and he drew in a gasp that turned into a scream halfway through. Although touching his friend's hand sent the current through his own body for a moment, Kevin was quick to grab him anyway, and he managed to pull Neil safely out of the electrified water and into a fierce embrace. Neil kept shrieking, and he squirmed frantically around, not seeming to recognize his surroundings at first.
"It's alright, Neil," Kevin assured him despite how hard his own heart was pounding. "I've got you."
"Oh..." Neil's body slackened, and he pulled back to blink slowly at Kevin, realization dawning in his eyes. His cheeks coloured with embarrassment and he ducked his head. "Uh, thanks."
Neither of them said anything else, for lack of ability or perhaps willingness to put it into words. After a moment, Kevin realized he was still holding the clover, and he handed it back to Neil, who took it with a dip of his head and a murmur of acknowledgement, and pinned it to his soaking wet t-shirt.
Somehow out of everything in the room, themselves included, that little scrap of plant matter was still intact. And although he wasn't superstitious, that simple fact was what would stick in Kevin's mind for the rest of the day, turning it over until he could only conclude: Yep, there's definitely something weird going on with that thing.
*
Despite the many months he'd prowled the city, this was the vigilante's first time in the hideout of a proper gang. It looked about the way he expected: dimly lit, no windows, weapons hung up on the wall and cigarette butts littering the floor. The gang members, dressed primarily in leather jackets with a few in denim, lounged in chairs leaning too far back, or on top of tables, or on their motorcycles parked right in the middle of the room. Most of them didn't even notice the vigilante as he approached. They were too caught up chattering and cackling amongst themselves like a nest of overgrown crows. The one gang member who did seem to notice the vigilante from the get-go simply looked up at him with raised eyebrows and addressed him once he got close enough to strike.
"Hey, haven't seen you around before. Looking to join the club?"
"Hardly," he snarled. "This whole place is crawling with criminals."
The whole room broke into laughter at that. The vigilante gritted his teeth, fists clenching at his sides. These people were different from the criminals he'd taken down before; between their numbers and all the weapons they had easy access to, they might just pose a serious threat if he wasn't careful.
"You're the ones, aren't you?" he went on once the laughter had died down and the gang members were all watching him with a mix of bemusement and curiosity. No trace of fear amongst them yet, but that would change... "Throwing bricks at innocent people, even seeking to damage their property. Absolutely detestable."
"Woah, hang on," another of the gang members cut in sharply, reaching for a weapon as they stood. "First off, the whole brick throwing thing was months ago. Second of all, we never did that to innocent people, you know!"
"Yeah!" yet another gang member cut in, pumping her fist in the air. "Only to those losers who blew up our boss!"
...Boss?
The vigilante slowly turned, a deeper chill than normal running down his spine, as a strangely familiar smug cackle echoed from behind him. He came face-to-face with a man in a tank top and baseball cap, sneering at him with his arms crossed. Max. Gulping, the vigilante took a step backward. He's their boss?
(How did he know that name? How had he known Wendy's name either, for that matter? Why, out of all the criminals in the city, did a select few ignite disproportionate resentment within him? He'd dealt with some of these people before, he knew, but when he tried to remember when and how it all just turned to slush in his brain.)
"Yep, those losers got what was coming to 'em," Max said. "Except not really, 'cause they didn't suffer enough. But it's okay, we'll get 'em extra hard next time."
"No..." For reasons he couldn't quite explain, the vigilante's voice shook with equal parts fury and sudden fear. "Don't you dare hurt them."
"Huh?" Max tilted his head, already slightly squinted eyes narrowing further. "Heyyy, wait a minute, aren't you one of--?"
Before he could finish that thought, the vigilante was upon him with a karate chop to the windpipe. It was a more reckless attack than he'd planned, and even as Max stumbled backward coughing, he could hear the rest of the gang grabbing their weapons and running up behind him. But it was fine; the vigilante could take them all on and then some. He could kill any number of people if it was for the sake of defending his friends.
(Friends? Did he have friends? Somehow it felt that he must have, once. But that was strange, because the only thing he could clearly remember himself ever being was a cold-blooded vigilante.)
*
"Don't you see? Society's the one to blame! It's society's fault that he had no choice but to become this way!"
As Kevin delivered this speech, waving his arms dramatically toward the focus of the scene, Neil spun the video camera around to point it toward himself. Hopefully the studio would think of the disorienting cinematography for this webisode as a bold artistic choice rather than thinking of it as amateurish and embarrassing. He then leapt back, breaking into maniacal laughter with his prop gun raised in the air. Under ideal circumstances, this role might have been better suited to Ryan, but... well, they couldn't stay hung up on him forever; they had a job to do.
"Eh-heh-heh! Thanks to society, I have the urge to kill!" Neil twirled around to show off his clown costume, while just out of frame, Kevin hastily put on a wig and fake mustache. "And now... I'll kill this innocent man, who's different than the guy who was talking a minute ago!"
(It was fascinating--fascinating and dumb--how a broken mirror and a bit of blood could set him off, but something as heavy as a gun in his hand only brought him the faintest twinge of discomfort, easily ignored for the sake of making a webisode. After all, as Kevin had assured him many times over the past few months, it was the gun and its villainous weilder who were to blame for what had happened to Ryan. On an intellectual level Neil knew that was true--and besides, if he hadn't deflected that bullet, all three of them would have died. But knowing that did nothing to redirect when and why the darkness in his brain manifested.)
Now, much to Neil's surprise as he took aim with his prop gun, Kevin shouted "Cut!" and walked across the abandoned lot they were filming in to turn the camera off.
Neil lowered the gun, confused, as his costar removed his costume with that now all-too-familiar look of concern etched across his face. "What's the matter?"
"I don't know... somehow I've just got a bad feeling about this," Kevin muttered. "Maybe try firing into the air a couple times first."
Neil complied, and was met with the expected result from the prop: a couple of clicks indicating an empty chamber. "You worry too much these days, Kev," he said as he fired one more blank into the sky and then lowered the prop again. "It's not a real gun; it can't--"
As he spoke, his finger accidentally pressed the trigger again, and he broke off with a yelp at the sudden burst of pain in his right foot. He dropped the apparently very real gun with a clatter and clutched at his injured appendage, losing his balance in the process. Kevin swore under his breath and rushed forward to catch him. Before his friend could reach him, Neil's other foot came down on a wide crack in the pavement. A chill ran through him, momentarily distracting him from the throbbing pain, but it passed as quickly as it arose without seeming to trigger any effects.
"By god, what's happening to you?" Kevin exclaimed as he grabbed Neil by the shoulders and held him upright. "You've been so unlucky lately, it... it almost seems like a curse."
"A curse?" Neil stiffened, but quickly forced himself to shrug and morphed his grimace into a dismissive eye-roll. "Pfft, what are you talking about? There's no curse! I've just been, y'know, having an off-day..."
"Neil." There was that concerned look again, that almost parental tone of voice, as Kevin stared him down and tightened his grip on Neil's shoulders. "A couple hours ago you almost died, and now... you can tell something weird is going on, right? And, look--" He sighed, gaze darkening. "I don't exactly know how to fix it, but whatever's happening, I can't just sit back and watch you succumb to it. I can't lose you, too, Neil... not after..."
He trailed off with a faint warble in his voice, lowering his head. Neil gulped, a heavy weight surfacing in his chest. It was true; though he hated to admit it, at this point it was hard to deny that he was cursed. And yet, even as his foot throbbed around the spot where the bullet was lodged and his shoe was slowly stained from within by his own blood, it was hard to convince himself that he should accept help. On some level, didn't he deserve this? Wasn't this a fitting comeuppance for getting one of his friends killed?
Yet here was his other friend, clutching at him ever tighter to the point where his grip on Neil's shoulders was nearly as painful as hitting his head or getting mildly electrocuted or shooting himself in the foot. I'm not the only one who lost Ryan, he reminded himself--another thing he knew perfectly well on an intellectual level, but easy to forget in practice. Kevin is hurting too. I shouldn't make him hurt any more.
"Fine, I admit it," he sighed, letting his tensed-up shoulders slump. "I'm unlucky, okay? And if you think it's possible--" He tore the clover off his shirt and glared down at it-- "then we're going to beat this thing."
*
For as tough as the gang presented themselves, it must have been most of these people's first time in an actual fight. The vigilante swerved to avoid weak punches, clumsy kicks, poor attempts at stabbing. It all blended together after a while, and he stopped thinking of the gang members as individuals; they were just an indistinguishable swarm of insects whose attacks were easily dodged. Unimportant, save for their leader.
The vigilante had Max pinned to the floor now, holding his thrashing form in place with one arm while he brought his other fist down on the ruffian's face, over and over, as hard as he could. Not every blow connected cleanly, and Max had managed to bite him several times already, but that was irrelevant. Criminals must be brought to justice. That was why the vigilante hated these people, wasn't it? Because they were criminals. Yes, what other reason could he have, when this was all he'd ever been?
And then, just as he managed to land a blow to Max's jaw that left him defiantly spitting out blood and a couple of teeth, the vigilante's spine snapped.
It took a moment for him to register what had happened. He just heard a loud crack, and a sharp pain shot through him, and suddenly he couldn't hold his legs in place and collapsed. Max wasted no time taking advantage; he delivered a kick to the vigilante's gut that sent him flying back across the room, where he hit a wall and slumped to the ground, gasping in breathless agony. At once the other gang members closed in on him. Grimacing, the vigilante drew himself up onto his hands and knees, then braced himself against the wall and, with a far greater strain of effort than expected, dragged himself upright. By the time he'd managed to get to his feet, dozens of knives were inches away from him.
Then, to his surprise, Max pushed through to the front of the crowd and held his arms out to hold back his underlings. "Nuh-uh, this one's mine," he told them, sneering as though oblivious to the blood dribbling from between his lips. "I said I'd get him twice tomorrow, and I meant it."
The vigilante flinched as Max took a swipe at him. But rather than a fist connecting with his face, he was met only with the shock of exposure as the bully grabbed his mask and triumphantly yanked it off his face. He was left dumbfounded, blinking, as his vision readjusted to the light.
Wait a minute, I remember--
And then came the punch, square in the nose. Ryan yelped, pressing his gloved hand over his nose to stop the bleeding. When he dodged another punch, his body failed to cooperate and he crashed to the ground again, back aching furiously and heart pounding against his ribcage.
How and why his back had broken, he couldn't say, but one thing was clear: he was horrendously outmatched. Max was saying something now, gloating as he advanced on Ryan with a dagger in his hands, but Ryan couldn't make out the words over the blood rushing in his head. Why on earth had he gotten into a fight like this in the first place? What was he doing? He had to get out of there!
With that thought, yet another thing happened that Ryan didn't entirely understand. (Ryan didn't understand, but the vigilante did. It was one of the few things the vigilante knew: dissolve, reform, enact ruthless vengeance, dissolve again.) His body shuddered, and suddenly he found his solid flesh and bone giving way to a slurry of blood and ice that slipped through the cracks in the floor and disappeared. Then he was formless, freefalling through the dark, or at least that was what it felt like. When he took shape again it felt like dragging himself out of quicksand. Yet when he raised his slowly resolidifying head and looked around, he found himself in the basement of his own home, staring up at the portraits of his ancestors that had started it all.
No. Not started it all. "I had a life before this," he whispered, voice raw with the shock of memory and too many months spent speaking in an inhuman growl. "My name is Ryan, I have a life and a job and friends, I..."
Yes, that's right. Friends. Where were they? He closed his eyes and tried to remember. Each recent memory that took form in his mind was accompanied by a crashing wave of guilt and regret, and soon his body shook and tears pricked at his wrenched-shut eyes. That's right... I became a vigilante, and I teamed up with such a horrible person, let him manipulate me, all because I was too afraid to go back and apologize. And then...
The last thing he remembered, just after the flash of light and shock of paralyzing cold, was the sound of a gunshot, something shattering, and Neil screaming.
"Oh, dear god," Ryan whispered. He raised his head, opening his eyes and lowering his hands from his newly tear-stained face, and sat back on his heels as though worshipping the paintings before him. "What have I become?"
*
The ropes were just slightly too tight around Neil's limbs to be comfortable; he couldn't resist squirming a little as Kevin laid out the open bible on the end table next to his proton pack and began reading from it.
"Okay, um, let's see... ex-or-ciz-amus te, omnis immunde spiritus..." He squinted at the yellowed, faded pages, biting his lip. "Omni satanica pot-es-tas, omnis incurs--incursio infernalis adversarii... uh..."
"You're doing great," Neil called from his position tied to the bed frame; Kevin gave him a weary smile and thumbs up.
As Kevin continued reciting the verse, occasionally stumbling over a particularly tricky Latin word, the room's temperature eventually dropped a few degrees. Neil shivered, but his heartbeat picked up in excitement. He could feel something stirring in his blood like ripples on a lake, and when the furniture in the room began to quiver, so too did his body in eager anticipation.
"...Crux sacra sit mihi lux! Nunquam draco sit mihi dux..." A chill wind swept through the room; Kevin gritted his teeth, one hand pressing down on the bible to hold its pages in place while he grabbed his proton pack with the other. "Vade retro Satana! Nun-quam-suade mihi vana!"
The furniture rumbled louder. Neil's eyes widened as an entire bookcase lifted off the ground. "Kevin, watch out!"
"Hang on, Neil, I'm almost done. Uh, where was I... sunt mala quae libas..."
"No, Kevin, the--"
"Just one more line, okay? Ipse ven--"
"KEVIN!"
That last terrified yell was what it took for Kevin to finally turn, just in time to see the six-foot block of polished oak fly directly into him. Neil shrieked and thrashed against his bindings with all his might, but even if he weren't tied up, there was nothing he could have done. The bookcase came crashing down, its contents spilling out onto the floor around it in a flurry of paper. And when the dust settled, Kevin was pinned beneath it, unmoving.
"N... no..." Neil whimpered. Dread tightened like a noose around his throat as the horrible thought seeped into his mind: This is because of me. Now I've gotten them both killed.
"Oh, yes, what a tragedy... just your luck, isn't it?"
Neil's blood ran cold. He raised his head to see the translucent, smoke-shrouded figure of a giant clover looming over him. Its four leaves, dark green tipped with crimson and speckled with barnacles, opened down the middle to reveal a row of needle-sharp fangs. For a second, "Where did you come from?" was on the tip of Neil's tongue. But it was just as well that he was too terrified to speak, because no sooner than the question appeared in his mind, he realized the obvious answer. Oh, right. This is the demon that cursed me.
"Don't worry, your friend is alive... for now," the demon jeered. "But that could change. It's so easy for accidents to happen, you know?"
As if to demonstrate, the demon's leaves fluttered and suddenly a fire sprang up dangerously close to the scattered pile of books on the floor. When Neil screamed in protest, the demon laughed, and part of the ceiling gave in, sending down a controlled shower of debris to put out the fire before anything flammable could catch.
"Okay, okay, I get it!" Neil exclaimed with a shake of his head; he'd be almost exasperated if he weren't so terrified. "You're really powerful and want to hurt people, geez, not exactly a challenging concept. So, what do I have to do?"
That question seemed to give the demon pause. "...Do?"
"You know, to appease you or whatever. If you're threatening me with Kevin's life, then there must be something you want from me, right?" An idea occurred to Neil just then, and his already hammering heart beat even harder, to the point where he hoped the demon couldn't hear it and tell how freaked out he was. "Hey, it must suck having to be a clover. What if a lawnmower or forest fire had gotten to you before I did? And if you like hurting people so much..." He paused, smirking as the demon leaned toward him with obvious interest. "Wouldn't it be easier just to possess my whole body instead of wasting time messing with my luck?"
"That's..." The demon hesitated, its leaves curling up in what looked like excitement. "Ah. Ah-ha-ha! You're a clever little mortal, aren't you?"
"But don't get it twisted," he put in, glaring defiantly up at the demon despite hardly being in a position to threaten anyone. "You have to promise not to hurt anyone else. Especially not Kevin."
"It's a deal!"
Before Neil could stop and reconsider whether this was really a good idea, the demon dove toward him, row of fangs wide open as though it were going to bite his head off. He flinched a split-second before something cold and stinging like nettles clamped around him.
When he opened his eyes again, the world was tinted dark green as if viewed through a dingy screen, his head felt hazy... and he couldn't move, at least not of his own volition. Even opening his eyes just then wasn't his decision. He heard himself cackle, felt his arms and legs flex far harder than he'd known he was physically capable of flexing, breaking the ropes that bound him to the bed frame and setting his body free to do whatever the demon wanted.
"Hah..." the demon muttered in his voice as it made him walk over to where Kevin lay, still trapped and unconscious. The demon knelt down and poked experimentally at Kevin's shoulder and forearm. "This one has more muscle. It might have been a better choice for possession, if it wasn't so damaged already..."
For one petrifying moment, the demon grabbed Kevin's head and stared intently at him, stretching Neil's face into a grin so wide it made his whole face ache, and Neil's mind raced with horrible thoughts of things the demon might make his own hands inflict upon his poor helpless friend. But the demon simply laughed and dropped Kevin, who let out a low groan as his head lolled to the side--an indication that at least he really was still alive. But all of a sudden Neil had trouble believing that small mercy was really worth it.
"Ah, well, this body will do," the demon decided. "Let's take it out on the town and see how long it lasts!"
*
This time when the vigilante materialized in Wendy's room, she did little more than roll her eyes and move to grab her baseball bat. However, rather than try to attack her or even growl out any threats, the vigilante took two shaky steps and then collapsed, catching himself against her dresser. Wendy's eyes widened as she took a closer look at his face. His mask was off now, revealing a pair of striking blue eyes glistening with obvious distress, cheeks flushed with exertion, and a streak of half-dried blood running from his bruised nose. And when he spoke, it wasn't in the gravelly tone she'd heard from him before, but in a quiet higher-pitched voice--almost a whimper.
"Please... tell me..."
Wendy hung back, caught between a sharp tug of sympathy in her heart and a very rational wariness based on their previous encounter. The vigilante tried to walk again, and again nearly fell; his face wrenched up and he let out a pained hiss. At that, sympathy won out over rationality. Wendy edged toward him with her baseball bat in hand, and when she was close enough, held it out to him.
"Hey, uh... here. It's not exactly medically sanctioned, but maybe you could use this like a cane?"
"Oh... good idea, thank you!" He broke into a grin, and Wendy shivered; somehow he was far scarier when his eyes were bright and cheerful. "Terribly sorry for how I treated you last time, by the way. I really wasn't myself."
"Uh-huh?" While the vigilante tested out the makeshift cane, Wendy sat down on her bed, arms crossed. "And who are you, anyway?"
"I'm Ryan... or at least I think I still am." His smile faltered, and he looked away, anxiously running a hand through his hair. It was starting to come unpinned, and his hat was askew; evidently he'd been through a lot in the few hours it had been since their first encounter. "It's been... strange, lately. I don't think I'm entirely human anymore, if I ever was. But I came back here because there's something I want to understand."
"You want to know why I ghosted your friend?" It was just a guess, but Ryan nodded; Wendy smiled privately to herself for having figured it out. "Alright, I can tell you..."
She uncrossed her arms and leaned back on her bed, thinking back to the disastrous date she'd gone on several months prior. It was a story she'd recited many times to friends, relatives, other first dates as sort of a half-joking warning ("So, as long as you don't blow it as much as that guy did, we should be good...") and the more she told it, the more warped and exaggerated it became within her memory. But when she really thought back on it now, it hadn't been so disastrous at all--pretty damn awkward, sure, but not even close to the worst date she'd been on.
"Kevin actually seemed really sweet," she recalled, smiling despite herself at the memory of his big dorky grin. "I would have gone on a second date with him. But then, first thing the next morning, I read in the news that some guy got arrested right outside the restaurant while we were on our date. And the criminal's name? Neil. Same name as the 'friend' Kevin had said was helping him out." She shrugged, lips twisting into a frown. "I just got kinda freaked out, you know? Like, 'oh geez, did I go on a date with a drug dealer or serial killer or something?' Of course it probably wasn't anything that serious, and pretending to be dead was probably an overreaction, but... well, what's done is done."
Wendy was so caught up in her own memories as she explained all this that she wasn't really observing Ryan's reactions. Once she concluded her story, she glanced over to find him sitting on the floor with his legs tucked up awkwardly beneath him, the baseball bat in his lap; he was staring at the floor, expression unreadable. He stayed like that for a long moment, not seeming to notice that Wendy had stopped talking, until she cleared her throat. Then he jumped to attention, eyes flashing like those of a woodland cryptid in headlights.
"Ah! Yes, of course... well, I still don't entirely understand, but I think I resent you less now." Ryan tilted his head and shot her another shiver-inducing grin. (Whether it was supposed to be threatening or not, she had no idea.) "And you're right; I almost forgot--we're all criminals too, Neil and probably even Kevin and especially myself! So how can I be a vigilante?" He answered his own rhetorical question with a shake of his head, manic grin softening into a melancholy smile. "It's ridiculous. I've been so foolish."
With that, his body began to ripple, losing a little of its solidity. But before he could break apart and dissolve through the floorboards like last time, a chirpy little beep-beep-beedle-beep noise rang out. Ryan's eyebrows shot up, and he glanced down at an accessory around his wrist... Wait, is that one of those communicator watches like the one Kevin had?
If it was, Ryan wasn't quick to answer it. He simply stared, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, at the beeping device in silence. Although she knew even less about Ryan than she knew about his apparently only slightly more normal friends, and she didn't normally care to get too involved in the personal affairs of strangers, he was still in the middle of Wendy's bedroom. And the longer that little jingle repeated, the more annoying it got. So she cleared her throat again and asked, in as polite a tone as she could manage given the circumstances,
"So, are you gonna answer that, or what?"
*
It was a stupid, pointless idea. Not an idea at all, really. Just the last scraps of... not even hope, that was pretty much deplenished at the moment, but effort. The effort not to let everything fall apart even further than it already had.
Kevin had woken with a throbbing pain throughout pretty much his whole body. Judging by the crushing weight pressing down on his torso, he was lucky to have woken up at all. The only parts of him not pinned down were his head and right arm, and even those hurt to move, though at least the spinning in his head put some degree of separation between himself and his broken body. Forget about trying to wriggle free when it hurt just to breathe.
So there he was, stuck, the shelf slowly crushing the air out of him, and Neil was gone. Where to, he didn't know. When he craned his neck he could see the empty bed frame, and the ropes broken and discarded at the foot of it. The bible he'd gotten from Ryan's house was facedown beside the tipped-over end table, next to a crushed and twisted lump of metal and plastic that he was horrified to recognize as his beloved proton pack. So wherever Neil was now, he must have still been cursed... or worse. And there was nothing Kevin could do about it.
Unless. Grimacing at the way his joints twinged, he raised his unpinned arm above his head. There on his wrist, perfectly intact despite everything he'd been through, was his communicator wristwatch. In all the hubbub of that day, he'd never gotten around to mentioning them to Neil, so his friend wouldn't be wearing his. But what if...?
It was stupid. It was pointless. There was no way in hell. But it was the only thing he could do. In a display so lacking in dignity that he was grateful nobody was around to see it, Kevin used his teeth and tongue for lack of a free hand to dial in the frequency and send off a signal. The watch's screen flashed in affirmation; he let his head flop against the floor with a weary sigh. Now all he could do was wait.
When he was at Ryan's house going through his things, and he found those communicator wristwatches, he'd only found two of them. And although that could have meant a dozen different things, there was just one wild, far-fetched possibility that any last semblance of hope now rested upon: that the third watch was missing because Ryan was alive, and he was still wearing his.
He didn't expect to get a response. By the time he did, he was struggling to stay awake--funny thing, trying to breathe with fifty pounds of wood pressed directly on your chest really takes it out of you. But he snapped to attention, or the closest he could get when his head was swimming and his body was beginning to go numb from lack of circulation, the moment he heard that voice crackling through the speaker.
"H-hello? Kevin?"
The relief that coursed through his veins was so overwhelming, especially on top of everything else, that he could only laugh--only for it to quickly turn into hacking as his ribs offered a sharp jab of protest. He raised his sleeve to wipe away a streak of blood that dribbled from his lips before speaking into the watch.
"Ryan. Where are you?" He regretted wasting time with that question the moment he asked it; he could tell from the way his organs felt like they were curling in on themselves as he spoke that he didn't have the energy for a full conversation. So before Ryan could stammer out a proper response, Kevin continued: "Neil is in trouble. You've gotta help him."
"What?" The shrill uptick of anxiety in Ryan's voice was palpable, and even just hearing that voice in and of itself stirred up a whole miasma of feelings that there was no time to properly react to. "What's going on? Are you okay? You sound--"
"I'm fine," Kevin lied through gritted teeth. "And... I don't know exactly where Neil is, but I know he's in trouble." A choking mix of emotions and his own blood swelled in his throat as his slowly blurring gaze wandered to the facedown bible. "I've tried to do some stuff today that I couldn't do without you. I-- we need you, Ryan. So, please... help."
With that final plea, something broke within him like a dam that he hadn't even realized was cracking. His arm flopped to the ground, wrist landing near his ear, where the communicator watch kept emitting Ryan's voice as it slowly rose in pitch until he was almost shouting. But even as his friend called frantically out to him, Kevin found it harder to make out the words. He groaned, letting his head loll to the side and his eyes fall shut. The last sensation he was aware of as darkness closed around him was that there was something wet on his face.
*
"Kevin, are you still there? Hello? Kevin!"
He wasn't responding. Why wouldn't he be responding, if the situation was so urgent? Maybe because he couldn't respond. Because he was--
"What are you going to do?" Wendy's voice cut into the swirl of panic Ryan was rapidly descending into. She hovered over his shoulder, peering down at the watch with wide, anxious eyes. The watch's screen had gone dark. No signal. Yes, indeed, what to do?
"What else? I have to save Neil."
If Kevin didn't know where Neil was, then there was no way that Ryan should have been able to instantly find him. But when he closed his eyes and let his vigilante instincts take over, he found that he didn't have to know where someone was. Whatever dark magic was infused in him now, letting him exist in this not-quite-human state even after what should by all accounts have been his death, it was hardwired for vengeance. And saving Neil meant exacting vigilante justice on whoever or whatever was harming him. With that in mind, the vigilante dissolved in a flurry of blood-tinted ice and reformed seconds later in the place it somehow knew it needed to be.
The first thing Ryan noticed when he appeared on the rooftop was the storm brewing overhead. He raised his eyebrows at that; earlier that day there hadn't been a cloud in the sky--and for that matter, when he looked around, it appeared that most of the sky was still perfectly clear, with the storm clouds being localized around this building. The second thing he noticed, upon peering over the edge of the roof, was that he wasn't on just any rooftop, but a skyscraper that towered above every other building in the vicinity. Lastly, he noticed a flagpole at the far corner of the rooftop, several feet away from him. And that was when his gaze fell upon Neil.
Neil was laughing as he swayed back and forth, clad in a brightly patterned jacket that wasn't his usual style at all, his arms and legs wrapped tight around the tall metal pole. Above him, the dark clouds lit up in a flash, followed almost instantly by a rumble of thunder. Although these particular stormclouds didn't come with rain, Ryan shivered. An incredulous exclamation was on the tip of his tongue (What on earth are you doing, stop it, you'll be killed!) when Neil locked eyes with Ryan, and he realized with a jolt of horror that this wasn't Neil at all--his body, yes, but someone or something else was controlling it. His mouth was stretched into a grin far wider than what a human face could normally achieve, and rather than their usual brown, his eyes glowed a sickly shade of green.
"Why, if it isn't my dear friend Ryan!" Neil--or whatever was piloting him--called, raising one arm off the pole in an exaggerated wave. "Oh boy, the guy I got this body from is sure surprised to see you alive! And as much as I'd love to send you plummeting off the edge of this building, I did promise not to hurt anyone else, so..." He waved his hand in a circle, unnaturally glowing eyes crinkling with amusement. "How about instead I pull you in a little closer so you can get a nice good look when your friend's body fries?"
With that, a sudden gust of wind blew into Ryan from behind, sending him stumbling forward. When he attempted to regain his footing, his broken spine betrayed him once again and he flopped to the ground with an undignified oof just a few feet away from the base of the flagpole. Grimacing, he pushed himself up and crawled the remaining short distance to grab Neil's ankle. As he did so, he noticed there was a bloodstained hole in his friend's shoe, and that his pant leg was slightly damp and already bore a few singe marks. Between that and whatever had happened to Kevin... he shuddered at the thought of what his friends had gone through in his absence.
"Nice try, vigilante," the thing in Neil's body jeered. "But I've gotta say, you don't pose much of a threat since I broke your spine."
He stomped his other foot down on Ryan's hand; Ryan yelped and instinctively released his grip. And at the very instant he let go, in such perfectly unlucky timing that only a supernatural entity could orchestrate, the stormclouds above them opened up with a searing, crackling, blindingly bright lighting strike.
Neil tilted his head back and laughed at the top of his lungs as countless volts of electricity tore through him. That horrendous laughter drowned out Ryan's screams of protest, not that there was anything he could do anyway in his current state, when he couldn't so much as get to his feet. All he could do was lay there and gape in horror as Neil's body shuddered and his flesh began to sizzle and burn.
Though it felt like an eternity of torture, the lightning strike couldn't have lasted for more than a few seconds. When it ended, Neil dropped like a ragdoll into Ryan's arms. Ryan, too stricken to even check for a pulse, simply stared blankly into his friend's glazed-over eyes. Then Neil blinked, and his eyes were glowing green again, and he laughed, the sound rougher now that it was being produced by a charred set of lungs.
"Ah-ha-ha-ha! I wasn't expecting this body to survive that! Can you believe Neil is still kicking in here?" He tapped a finger against his head, then sat up with a playful kick of his legs. "...Or is he? It would be just like a demon to lie, wouldn't it?" He grabbed Ryan's chin with his burnt and blackened fingernails and forcefully tilted his head up so their gazes met. "You can't tell, can you, vigilante? So, how hard are you willing to throw your broken body around to try and save someone who might already be toast? Maybe you should just give up and go on with your day, hmm?"
While the demon taunted him, Ryan's mind raced to concoct a plan. Some miraculous last-minute solution that would fix everything... Neil would be able to think of one. Perhaps he already had. But that wouldn't do them any good when Neil was trapped and helpless within his own mind. If this really was a demon, and a powerful one at that, the only thing that might work was an impromptu exorcism.
"Crux sacra sit mihi lux! Nunquam draco sit mihi dux! Vade retro Satana!" Reciting the passage from memory as rapidly as he could without tripping over his tongue, Ryan grabbed Neil by the wrists and held him tight while he hissed and tried to jerk away. "Nunquamsuade mihi vana! Sunt mala quae libas. Ipse venena bibas!"
An ungodly noise somewhere between a shriek and a roar erupted from Neil as he tossed his head back and convulsed. It was far too visually similar for comfort to his electrocution less than a minute prior, and Ryan wondered if the demon was doing it that way on purpose in an attempt to scare him into stopping. If so, it wouldn't work. Even if this process was as painful for Neil as it was for the demon possessing him, it had to be done.
Sure enough, as the final line of the chant echoed across the rooftop, Neil shuddered and slumped to the ground next to Ryan. When their gazes met this time, the demonic glow was gone, but Neil was breathing fast and shallow and his eyes were wide with lingering terror.
"Ryan," he whispered. "You're... alive."
"I think so," he replied with a tentative smile. "It's all a little confusing. But we're going to be okay now, Neil."
However, no sooner had those words left his mouth than Neil stiffened up again, eyes momentarily flashing green. "No," he gasped, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head as if to dispel the demon's grasp. "Not yet. Still gotta... get rid of it..." He grabbed Ryan's hands and held them desperately tight, like a scared child clinging to their parent or older sibling. His eyes flashed once more, and this time when the glow faded, his face bore a strained smile. "I've got an idea. Ryan, don't freak out."
And with that, before Ryan could process what was happening and reach out to stop him, Neil sprung to his feet and took a running leap off the edge of the building.
*
For a while now, Neil had been having unusually vivid dreams. They weren't always nightmares, but they often were. Dreams about different worlds, different realities, different lives. Ones where him and Kevin and Ryan weren't all friends. Or worse, ones where they still were, but that wasn't enough to save them. One of those recent dreams, which began as an exciting fantasy only to devolve into a nightmare, was about some kind of flying vehicle. Ever since having that dream, Neil had made two vows to himself. Firstly, that as soon as he gathered the funds to afford it, he'd go back to school and complete his aeronautical engineering degree. Secondly, to always carry a parachute, just in case.
But the demon possessing him had no way of knowing that, now did it? And it wouldn't want to still be trapped inside a host body that was splattered all over the pavement. That was what Neil was banking on, at least. Otherwise he might really be in trouble.
As he fell, a stinging sensation rippled through his body. He shuddered, yet there was a smile on his face--no longer a grin stretched unnaturally wide, but an expression of his own volition--and his heart pounded not with terror but with exhilaration and boundless relief. Sure enough, the demon leapt forth from him and departed in a swirl of green smoke. And with it gone, he wasted no time in engaging the parachute--just in time to slow his acceleration enough that the fall wouldn't kill him.
Admittedly, he didn't exactly come down gracefully. He landed in a tangle of limbs and fabric that he had to shrug off the borrowed jacket, parachute and all, in order to escape, and the landing was just rough enough to deliver a painful reminder of the electrical burns covering the better part of his body. Still, Neil couldn't stop grinning as he gingerly picked himself up and dusted himself off. He was alive and no longer possessed; that was a win in his book.
When he craned his neck to look up at the roof, he thought he saw Ryan still sitting there. Neil grimaced as he recalled what the demon had said about breaking Ryan's back; hopefully that injury was undone with the demon being vanquished, but since Neil's injuries were still there, maybe that wasn't so. Either way, he couldn't just leave his friend up there alone.
As quickly as he could run with a bullet wound in his foot, he entered the building and took the closest elevator to the rooftop. But by the time the elevator chimed and its doors slid open, the rooftop was abandoned, with no sign of Ryan save for an abandoned hat, cape, and gloves, and a slowly fading dark red stain.
*
If Kevin hadn't already been surprised to wake up alive the first time, he sure as hell was now. The only reason he knew he was alive at all was the deep, persistent ache that wracked practically his entire body. That, and the warmth of the hand laid atop his own.
Forcing his eyes open with a pained groan, he turned his head to see the man sitting at his bedside. Ryan squeezed his hand and flashed him a sad smile when their eyes met. His vigilante costume was gone, traded for a simple dress shirt and tie, and his hair fell unpinned around his visibly tired face; the chair he sat in, upon closer inspection, was an old-fashioned wheelchair.
With some effort, Kevin pushed himself into a sitting position. Looking around, he found that he was laying on the couch in the living room with his chest bandaged. How Ryan had managed to pull him out from beneath the bookcase, he had no idea, but he sure wasn't going to complain about it.
"Ryan, you... you're hurt?" It was a stupid question--why else would he be in a wheelchair? "Did the demon...?"
"It's gone now," Ryan responded. "But..." His gaze lowered, and he dropped his hands into his lap to fidget with the blanket draped over his legs. "It was a costly victory, I'm afraid. In order to defeat the demon, Neil--"
His tearful speech was interrupted by the distant bang of the front door being thrown open.
"Geez, you could've told me you were going straight home!" Neil's indignant voice rang out down the hall. "I wandered all over town looking for you."
Ryan's head snapped up, and he and Kevin turned in unison to see their friend running toward them with a slightly crooked gait. With a cry of joyous disbelief, Ryan opened his arms, and Neil tackled him in an embrace that nearly sent him toppling over; Kevin had to lean forward to grab the back of Ryan's chair to keep him upright as he and Neil clung to each other.
"Neil, you're alive! I-I thought..."
"It's okay, Ryan," said Neil. Then, pulling back and glancing at Kevin with a melancholy smile: "I think we're all going to be okay."
*
"So, what do you think?"
As the ending credits rolled on their latest webisode, Neil and Kevin turned to face Ryan with matching expectant grins.
"Well..." Ryan drummed his fingers against the keys of the laptop and tried to think of something positive to say. "The costumes you used were a lot more fashionable than usual--wait, hold on. Weren't those my clothes?"
They were in Kevin's truck parked outside the studio's headquarters, with Neil in the passenger seat and Ryan in the back. It had taken a little over a week for them to recover to the point where they could comfortably climb inside a vehicle, let alone Kevin being able to actually drive, and the studio had already sent them several notes warning them that their pay would be docked for submitting their webisode behind schedule.
"Ah, yeah, sorry about that," Kevin muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
"To be fair, if he hadn't broken into your house and stolen a bunch of stuff from you, he couldn't have called you on your communicator watch," Neil interjected cheerfully. "Or tried to do an exorcism... but I guess that didn't really work out for him anyway."
"Hey, c'mon, it wasn't stealing!" Kevin gave Neil a gentle shove, prompting him to briefly wince but laugh anyway. "If we'd known you were still alive, we wouldn't have taken your stuff, Ryan, honest."
"Ah, I'll have to remember that for next time," Ryan quipped. He closed the laptop and handed it back to Neil, who tucked it away inside an oversized shoulder bag. "Well, that may not have been the best webisode we've made, but I can tell you two did your best."
"Yeah, it'll be way better once we get back to making them as a trio," Neil said.
It was still amazing to Ryan that his friends were so quick to accept him back after all he'd done. If anything, it made him feel worse about his prolonged absence, because he knew now that he could have come back at any point and they would have been glad to have him. It was easy to fall into regret when thinking of all that had gone wrong, and all that could easily have gone even worse. But the fact was, they were together again now--altered by what they'd gone through, and not entirely for the better, but still themselves.
And despite it all, the preceding events and the possibility that another horrible thing could happen to them in the future, he found himself agreeing with Neil's hopeful statement.
"Indeed..." Ryan reached out and took Neil and Kevin's hands in his own. They smiled back at him with the same residual traces of relief in their eyes that Ryan had felt every so often over the past week--relief that they were still there to smile at each other. "Gentlemen, I look forward to working with you again."
¤--END--¤
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wrenhyperfixates · 4 years
Text
Of All the Places
Chapter 3
Pairing: Loki x reader Series Summary: Washing up in a small town in Oklahoma was definitely not part of Loki’s plan when he came to conquer Midgard. There is one good thing about it, though: No one recognizes him as the one who just wreaked havoc in New York. So, Loki plans to recover from the battle and move on with his life. The only problem? He’s not sure he can leave you. Chapter Summary: Loki battles with new thoughts and feelings as time goes on. While trying to convince himself to leave, he does his best to stop his growing connection to you and Matt. Chapter Warnings: some angst, but also fluff A/N: Third chapter done! For anyone wondering about James, there’s some more information on him in this chapter. And for anyone who saw that other post, this isn’t the super long chapter yet, sorry! Updates every Friday. As always, hope you enjoy :)
Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiantfavs​ @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​
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Disclaimer: Gif not mine
One week later, Loki was ready to leave. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself. He’d done his best to keep his distance, and yet he kept getting roped into conversations with you. Surely, though, that was wholly due to your persistence and in no part because he was drawn to you. And this family breakfast he was at yet again? Simply because he was addicted to pancakes. It had nothing to do with you, or your family, or your kind eyes. Okay, maybe it had the tiniest bit to do with your kind eyes. The way you looked at him was like nothing he’d ever known before. Frigga had always done it with a gentle love, but it was always reserved and hidden behind a queenly mask. With you, he could see every thought that passed through your mind reflected in your eyes. He shouldn’t have enjoyed being seen as a bird with a broken wing, but the care you gave him was something he quite liked.
“Hey,” you whispered, nudging him in the side as the rest of the table laughed at something. “You ok?”
“Yes. Just lost in thought I suppose.”
“I hate to interrupt,” Mama curtly interjected, “but whispering at the table ain’t polite.”
Ah, now if Loki was looking for a reason to leave, he could certainly find one in Mama. Though you’d been the one to start the hushed conversation, she was looking pointedly at Loki as if he was the instigator. Then again, she acted like every bad thing that happened since his arrival was his fault, even things he had no control over. Maybe spiting her by staying was reason enough for his delayed departure.
“Sorry,” you said before he could deliver a withering insult. “It’s my fault.”
Mama just made a little humming noise in reply that obviously showed she neither blamed you nor appreciated you taking the fall. In the time that Loki had been at your farm, she either avoided him like the plague or dealt thinly veiled insults his way. It was grating on his nerves, but there wasn’t much he could do bar revealing himself as an all-powerful god. Or leaving. That was always an option, he reminded himself.
“Son, I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Papa started, ignoring the tension like always, “I’ve misplaced that dang camera again. I’ll find it again soon though, don’t you worry.”
Little did he know, that camera’s disappearing act was entirely due to Loki’s magic. He’d hidden it around the house a number of times, never anywhere too outrageous as to avoid suspicion. Perhaps this time he’d just keep it in a dimensional pocket. Or let Taffy knock it over. Maybe if it was broken, you’d give up on the missing person ad idea. He’d worried that you would just use your phone cameras instead, but Papa was convinced that the quality would not be good enough.
“It is quite alright, sir. Your hospitality is more than enough. In fact, I really ought to be on my way soon,” he finished, throwing a glance at you to gauge your reaction, feeling an odd spark of happiness when you sank down in your seat.
“No!” Matt cried. “I don’t want you to.”
He crossed his arms as if that solved everything. It did, however, soften Loki a little. As it turns out, he was very fond of the little guy. On Asgard he’d never had much time to spend with children, but it seemed like he had inherited his mother’s natural ability to be good with them. Inherited is the wrong word, actually, he bitterly thought to himself. She’s not your real mother, after all.
“Matt, if he wants to leave, we really should let him,” Mama scolded, with an almost hopeful expression.
“Actually, I do not see why I shouldn’t stay a bit longer,” Loki said, flashing a false grin at the woman. “There really is no rush, I suppose.”
“Yeah,” she muttered. “No rush.”
“Well, Loki, since Matt has taken to you so well, maybe you’d like to watch him this afternoon?” Ana asked, pretending she didn’t hear Mama’s latest remark.
“It would be my pleasure,” he responded, surprised by the sincerity of that statement.
The family had still been avoiding giving Loki strenuous tasks, believing that he was just incredibly good at hiding his ailments. To keep up appearances, he pretended to have a particularly bad ache or pain every once in a while. Whenever he did, you’d instantly appear at his side and usher him to a seat. He’d try to get up, but you would tell him to stay put in your best stern tone, which he found rather adorable, though he’d never admit it. Then you’d fetch him a glass of water and watch over him for the next hour, or until you decided he was well enough to get up again.
Fifteen minutes later, it was time to start the day and everyone helped clear the table. Your family had made the process as efficient as possible. Mama and John would bring the dishes to Papa in the kitchen, who would hand them to you to put in the dishwasher after rinsing them off. Ana and Matt would put away all the leftovers and toppings from whatever had just been on the menu. Loki helped out where he could, but most days everyone besides Mama insisted he should take it easy, that he could help when he was fully healed. It was odd, he realized, that you were all planning on him being around that long. He felt that familiar, nagging, guilty feeling he’d been getting ever since he arrived. He was not a fan.
By the time Ana and John were ready to leave, Loki had already collected the eggs, the only daily chore he was given, and was ready to watch Matt. It was only as the boy was hugging his parents goodbye that Loki realized he wasn’t really sure what to do with the child for the next few hours. He was thankful that you seemed like you were planning on sticking around, too. It did make sense, he supposed, that they hadn’t completely trusted the boy with a near stranger.
“Aren’t you healthy, mommy?” Matt asked, clinging to Ana’s leg as she tried to get away. “Why do you have to go to the doctor?”
“Because you’re going to have a little brother or sister soon,” Ana explained in a sweet tone as she gently pried her son away. “Mommy and Daddy have to go to the doctor to make sure the baby is healthy.”
Loki’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. He had not yet realized that Ana was pregnant. She must not have been very far along because she wasn’t showing much yet. Though, now that he knew to look, the god could see a small baby bump. Based on Matt’s reaction, he was already aware that he’d have a sibling soon, but he still couldn’t quite grasp the concept of everything that went along with that.
“Will you be back soon?” Matt questioned, finally giving up his efforts to keep his parents where they were.
“In the blink of an eye, small fry,” John said, placing a kiss on his head.
That seemed to satisfy Matt, who wandered over to Loki and put his arms up, clearly looking to be picked up. He hesitated for a second before scooping up the boy. It wasn’t that he was afraid of dropping him, in fact he was sure he wouldn’t, but he’d never held a child before. Up until a few days ago, he wasn’t sure he even had the slightest inkling how to be nurturing. And then there was the whole problem of Matt becoming too attached. Not to mention the way you looked at him when he did held him. That soft gaze was a problem for sure.
“Alright,” you said once Ana and John were gone. “What do you want to do, buddy?”
“Hide and seek!” he shouted. Then he put his small, chubby hands on Loki’s cheeks and used his most serious tone. “You’ll never find me. I have the best hidey spots.”
Loki let out a nervous chuckle. Truth be told, he didn’t know how to play this game. When he and Thor were kids, they played run and attack, but he felt like this was probably not very comparable. Midgard was a very different place, after all.
“Just count to sixty and then come look for us. We’ll stay in the house,” you informed Loki as he passed Matt off to you. “Oh, and just shout out when you’re starting to look.”
“Thank you,” he replied, turning around to face the wall.
It was odd, he thought, that he seemed to have said thank you more in the past week than he had in the last century of his existence. He’d never meant to let himself get so bitter, but here he was stewing in that awful feeling. When the flash of anger receded, the God of Mischief realized he was face to face with a framed family tree. Highest up were pictures of couples he could only assume were your grandparents. Next line down was Mama, Papa, and their siblings. You and Ana were in the next row, and it struck him just how much you and your sister looked alike. Matt and John were there too, but the person that most captured his attention was your brother. The middle child, he guessed, since the picture was in between those of you and Ana. He gently ran his fingers over the looping gold cursive of James’s name. Loki loved a good mystery, but he needed clues and evidence to solve one. He knew next to nothing about the guy, other than that he’d been wearing his clothes for the past seven days.  
“I am starting to look now,” Loki awkwardly shouted, feeling self-conscious about seeming like he was talking to no one.
He thought he heard a small snort coming from one of the upper levels at his gawky declaration, so he headed up first. It felt odd to go rifling through things, so he mainly tried just to peer under furniture, though he did open a closet once or twice. He huffed and considered if he should venture into any of your rooms. If you weren’t there, though, he’d feel like he was intruding on something private and sacred. Hesitating with a hand hovering over the doorknob to your room, he noticed the attic hatch out of the corner of his eye. Standing still, he could hear a very subtle shuffling noise coming from above him, so either you were there, or you’d better call pest control.
As soon as he climbed the ladder, Matt started giggling, but Loki pretended he couldn’t hear. He loudly walked in between the boxes littering the floor, every once in a while dramatically peering around an old piece of furniture. It only made the laughs louder.
“Now where could they be?” he sighed in mock exasperation. “Maybe, they’re here!”
Then he jumped around the couch you were hiding behind and started tickling Matt. The boy squealed in delight and squirmed away. When Loki looked at you, he saw something shocking on your face. Admiration. It was something he’d longed for from so many people in his life, and here you were giving it so freely to him. He moved his gaze elsewhere before his mind could wander any further.
“What’s all the ruckus up here?” Mama asked, her head appearing from the door. After spotting Loki, her eyes narrowed. “Oh. It’s you.”
“We were just playing hide and seek, Mama. Don’t worry,” you said.
“Indeed. I must say, it is much fun,” Loki added, though more to annoy her than ease her mind.
“I’m sure,” she replied before taking Matt by the hand. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat.”
You shot Loki an apologetic glance as you headed out after her. Once Matt’s snack was finished, Loki partook in some coloring. He was oddly pleased to know the little boy’s favorite color was green, and you seemed fairly partial to it, too. Ana and John returned roughly an hour later, and Loki finished the day by doing chores around the farm. Another thing he’d learned about himself was that he really didn’t mind doing manual labor. Growing up in the Royal Palace Valaskjalf, he never had to lift a finger to help cook or clean or do anything much besides training and lessons, really. Now he found himself almost eager to get into the kitchen for a cooking lesson with Papa or help out in the fields, the latter of which definitely had nothing to do with showing off for you.
He’d been on his way to the kitchen that evening sometime after dinner, his infamous sweet tooth bugging him again, when he heard Mama’s hushed voice.
“I’m telling you Earl, something about that boy just don’t sit right with me.”
“Come on, honey. He can’t even remember nothing. It’s our duty to help him out,” Loki heard Papa reply as he hid just outside the door.
“He may say he can’t remember, but I ain’t buying it. We should get him out soon as possible.”
It shouldn’t bother him as much as it did, but there was nothing to stop him from feeling the sting of those words. He really should just leave; it had been his plan after all. As if they had a will of their own, Loki’s feet carried him away from the conversation, out the door, and off the porch. He never should have taken advantage of your family’s generosity. He regretted thinking about you, though, because it made his steps falter a bit. And then there was sweet little Matt. It hadn’t really hit him until now, but Loki actually enjoyed himself today. He couldn’t recall the last day he could say that about.
“I hope you weren’t going to leave without saying goodbye.”
The trickster god whirled around at the sound of your voice. He’d been too caught up in his tumultuous thoughts to notice you leaning on one of the porch’s posts.
“Certainly not,” he lied. “I just needed some fresh air is all.”
“In that case, I know the perfect place. Come on.”
You took his hand and led him away from your land. He tried not to pay attention to the feeling of your hand in his. In fact, he tried to block it out altogether, but to no avail. Eventually, you reached a peaceful creek and picked up a rock to skip.
“If I was going to leave,” he began after a few minutes of contemplative silence, “I really would be fine. I appreciate all that you and your family have done, truly, but perhaps it’s best if I go.”
“Look, I know you’re pretty much all healed up, but you still don’t remember anything. I cannot in good conscience let you out into the world like that.”
“I suppose that is fair. Your mother certainly does not agree with your assessment, though.”
You sighed. “If Mama’s the reason you feel you should go, please just ignore her. She means well and all, but... Well, let’s just say she has her reasons for acting this way,”
Loki said nothing but raised his eyebrows at you. One part of him felt bad to press you for more information, even if it was done without words. The much larger part of himself, however, was entirely too curious to not know.
“Okay, so remember when I told you about my brother?”
Loki nodded eagerly, ready to get some answers about what exactly had happened there.
“Well, he was... He was killed in an accident with a drunk driver a couple years ago,” you recounted, tearing up a little bit. “Mama had trust issues even before, but they’re much worse now.”
“I am so sorry, darling,” Loki said, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder, but not daring to go any further than that.
He felt bad for your loss, but right now there were major alarm bells going off in his head. He’d just called you darling. It wan’t even something he’d thought about doing, it just happened. That, coupled with the fact he cared how you were feeling, had him panicking. His plan to leave after a week was already out the window, but leaving at all was becoming harder to fathom by the day.
“It’s ok,” you replied, wiping a few errant tears off your cheeks. “It was a little while ago. I’m alright now. Really.”
Neither of you said anything for a moment as he awkwardly pat your shoulder, not really certain of the correct way to comfort someone. He wanted to say something else, but he wasn’t sure what.
“I think I had a brother!” he shouted, giving in to his desire to confide in you, but his web of lies making it impossible to tell the whole truth.
“We have to put that ad in the paper then. So he can find you.”
Little did you know how awful that situation would be for everyone involved. Still, it meant a lot that you cared, especially when you’d just been saddened at the memory of your own brother.
“Maybe, but I do not seem to think we had a very good relationship.”
“All the more reason then. You never know how long you have, so you should try to make amends.”
“Perhaps.”
You lapsed into silence again, not really sure where to go from there. By now, the sun had been down for a while and a chill was settling in the air. Loki noticed you shiver and shrugged off his hoodie.
“Here,” he embarrassedly mumbled, holding it out to you.
“Oh, no. I couldn’t,” you refused. “You’ll be cold then.”
“Nonsense,” he insisted, “I will be perfectly fine.”
You reluctantly agreed and pulled it on. Though it had only been in his possession for a short time, his scent had already claimed the soft fabric. He acted like his attention was averted elsewhere, but was actually watching you out of the corner of his eye. You didn’t notice his gaze on you as you took a gentle sniff, trying to take as much of it in as possible. Sandalwood, leather and something otherworldly that you just couldn’t name, other than to call it heaven. He turned his head ever so slightly and you started sheepishly picking at your nails, hoping he hadn’t caught you. He expected to be appalled by the notion, but just found himself confused. Why would you enjoy something that was so distinctly him? Then he remembered you didn’t know the truth. That’s why he had to get out as soon as possible before he, or anyone else, got hurt.
“We should probably head back before it gets too late,” you said after a bit.
“I agree,” was all he replied.
As you walked away from the creek, he tried to leave the new feelings bubbling in him by the water, but they followed him all the way back to the house, and into his dreams that night.
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