#that everything they choose to disclose or not is done so with reason
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(All talk about the characters not the ccs)
I’m finally watching bbh’s June 19th stream (day after Father’s Day) and he’s talking about removing everyone’s access to his base. I’ve seen people talking about how this could cause problems and lose him Forever and Bagerah’s trust but I think people - including Forever and Bagerah - are forgetting a crucial fact
Bbh is a single parent and has been from the start.
He has to be incredibly paranoid to keep Dapper safe. His paranoia is the only reason Dapper -and many of the other eggs - are still alive.
He can’t rely on other people to keep Dapper safe. He can’t tell Dapper to go live with another parent if his house is compromised. That’s why he has five different houses and keeps building more when too many people gain access.
I don’t think Forever or Bagerah have a right to complain about this considering they have 3/4 other parents/houses to keep their egg safe. They have a family structure that allows them a sense of safety that bbh has NEVER had.
Like yea, I understand why they would feel betrayed but from an objective pov, they have zero ground to stand on to protest because they have NO idea what bbh has gone through raising dapper alone, how could they? They have always had 3/4 other parents at their beck and call.
Trust doesn’t mean letting someone run rampantly through your house/safe space just because they feel entitled to it. Trust means having faith that if bbh is closing off his/Dapper’s house to you, he has a legitimate reason that doesn’t have anything to do with you personally.
Bbh has done so much for team friendship and taken down so many of his walls and boundaries for them that the fact THEY don’t have faith in him makes me sad. I trust team friendship and the q-ommunication smp to work everything out but I just hope Bagerah and Forever come to respect bbh’s boundaries a bit more :D
#qsmp#crimson speaks#team friendship#constantly having to prove to people they can trust you#by letting them stomp all over ur boundaries#is not healthy or sustainable#bbh has given forever and Bagerah sooooo much trust#they need to have trust and faith in him too#give him is space#please XD#when ever they demand and guilt him into giving out the waystone and door access in previous streams#it makes me super uncomfy XD#I know it’s not intentional and they all have trust issues to a degree#it just reminds of of irl ‘friends’ that demanded things of me to prove my friendship#a huge part of healthy relationships is allowing people to keep parts of themselves secret#bearing your entire soul because someone asks you to prove your friendship is very toxic#friendship is about trust and trust means having faith#that everything they choose to disclose or not is done so with reason#idk maybe I’m just jaded XD#I know they’ll all work it out tho#I have faith#XD
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╔•°💗༄•°══════════•⊰•°༄༚
{Honesty}
Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? || Or do they share everything?
╞•⊰❖⊱•═══•༻💞༺•═══•⊰❖⊱•╡
↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Bungo Stray Dogs}࿐
↬[Warnings]•⊰ {None}࿐
☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0049}┈─╮
╭──────┈┈┈┈┈───────╯
╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐
╚•°💗༄•°══════════•⊰•°༄༚
↬|Atsushi|
• Atsushi is a generally open and honest person, and often chooses to share as much of himself with his lover as possible.
• He's not afraid to open up and be vulnerable in front of his significant other, and values honesty in their relationship. He will often share things about himself without reservation, and will often trust his significant other with information that he wouldn't normally share with anyone else.
• However, there are times when he may choose to withhold certain information, either because it's too painful to discuss or because he wants to protect his lover from potential hurt or disappointment.
┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄
↬|Dazai|
• Dazai has kept quite a few secrets from his s/o. Some aren't intentionally being kept because of malicious reasons, while some are.
• The ones he's kept because of malicious reasons are related to the darker side of his life. They're secrets that Dazai is ashamed of and scared to share with the world out of fear of losing his s/o, the only person he's comfortable enough to be vulnerable around.
• However, as time passes and he trusts the other one more, he might eventually open up to them about them. But only at the right time.
┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄
↬|Akutagawa|
• Akutagawa might have some secrets that he doesn't share with his partner, whether because he feels embarrassed or ashamed of them or because he prefers to keep them to himself.
• While he does have a lot of trust in his partner, he may choose not to be completely open about all aspects of his life.
• At the same time, Akutagawa might also be the type to share the minute details of his day and everything that's going on in his head with his partner.
• This could include sharing deep thoughts and feelings that might otherwise be kept private. Overall, he may be a mix of both.
┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄
↬|Chuuya|
• Chuuya is not the type to have many secrets but he definitely has some. He usually keeps things about his past to himself because it's something painful and personal, he also keeps some important details that affect his behavior secret from his s/o.
• However, he slowly starts to reveal things about his past and show his emotional side the more he gets used to his s/o.
• But he is not afraid to tell his s/o everything important to him, he knows that their relationship needs honesty and trust.
┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄
↬|Tetchou|
• Tetchou, as a boyfriend, has secrets that he hides from his lover of course. He has his own personal thoughts and feelings that he may not feel comfortable sharing with them, or he may be afraid of how they will react.
• He may also have experiences in the past that he has not yet disclosed to them, or he may be ashamed of something he's done and want to keep it to himself.
• He would prefer to keep these things private, and may even feel embarrassed if he is ever found out.
┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄
↬|Jouno|
• Like most people, Jouno has his own set of secrets that he prefers to keep only to himself. However, when it comes to his lover, he is usually quite honest and transparent in sharing things about himself and his past.
• Jouno may be a bit mysterious and hard to understand, but he's not one to keep big secrets from his beloved.
• Any secrets he keeps would likely be about trivial or embarrassing things rather than personal or major things in his life.
┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄
↬|Fyodor|
• Fyodor isn't someone who shares everything with s/o. He usually does share very important things related to their relationship or his s/o.
• But he also keeps some personal stuff private, even though he loves them so much, sometimes he just wants to keep some things as a secret.
• He does tell a little things bit by bit, so that s/o doesn't get overwhelmed by the information and that helps him also know their reaction.
┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄
↬|Nikolai|
• Nikolai is likely to have some secrets that he hides from his S/O, especially if they're things he's embarrassed or ashamed of.
• However, he would share everything important to their relationship with them, and he would want his S/O to be the person who knows him best and can truly understand him.
• He would also want to be able to confide in his S/O without worrying that they might judge or criticize him for his secrets.
┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄
↬|Sigma|
• Sigma does have secrets he keeps from his s/o. However, most of these secrets don't have to do with the relationship itself, but rather his past or other parts of his life.
• He keeps many things about his past to himself and doesn't often talk about it. He doesn't want his s/o to worry about him or see him in a different light.
• However, he does share everything that is relevant to the relationship and makes sure to be open and honest about how he feels.
• He values communication and transparency in a relationship and doesn't want to keep things from his s/o that could cause problems.
||[🄷onesty]||
━●━━━━━━────────
⇆ㅤㅤ◁🄶ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ🄸▷ㅤㅤ↻
#𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚢 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎–[🍓]#bsd x reader#bsd fluff#bsd headcanons#bsd hcs#bungo stray dogs headcanons#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungou stray dogs x reader#chuuya nakahara x reader#dazai osamu x reader#atsushi nakajima x reader#akutagawa ryunosuke x reader#jouno saigiku x reader#tetchou suehiro x reader#fyodor dostoevsky x reader#nikolai gogol x reader#bsd sigma x reader
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Thinking about Iris' very open disdain for spirit channeling and how it seemingly contradicts many other elements of her character.
Let me explain—Iris prior to the end of BttT is a woman who only knows facades, covering up the truth, and only presenting herself exactly as she wants others to see her. We see this over and over again throughout the course of the story: she hides her real identity while dating Phoenix, she does damage control for Dahlia and Godot to help them avoid blame for their crimes, and she is extremely selective about which information she chooses to disclose to specific people depending on whatever role she finds herself playing in that moment (daughter, girlfriend, accomplice, etc). Her demeanor as a whole is also rather meek and unassuming, and she's shown to be exceptionally kind; she expresses favorable opinions on most everyone she meets, even those continuously treated poorly by other characters (like Larry) or those that have objectively done reprehensible things (like Dahlia).
All of this stands in stark contrast to her saying in no uncertain terms that she hates spirit channeling:
This stands out to me because it is one of very few things that Iris is completely forthright honest about in the early portion of this case. After spending all day avoiding Phoenix and now carefully dodging his questions towards her in hopes of preventing the truth of her deception from coming out (all of this while actively avoiding her responsibilities at the Inner Temple because of Larry's "blackmail" letter which also threatened to expose her "secret"), why is this the one bit of truth she chooses to divulge here? Or rather: why is this the one thing she seemingly cannot lie about?
Obviously the answer lies in Iris' past and the permanent damage that was done to her and her family due to the politics of the Fey clan, with the Kurain Channeling Technique at the root, and the DL-6 incident as the event that brought everything to ruin. Iris bore witness to her mother Morgan losing the title of Master of Kurain due to her inferior powers and the despair that caused her, then three years later saw her aunt Misty who, despite purportedly being so much better than her mother, made a mistake while channeling that led to an innocent man's conviction, disgracing the Fey name and causing her to flee the village in shame. With this in mind, it makes sense that Iris would feel so strongly about spiritual powers doing more harm than good; after all, she has firsthand experience of the damage that can be done to the women that have it.
But what of the women that don't have it—namely, Iris herself? What happens to a spirit medium, born of the Fey bloodline, daughter of the then-master of her channeling school, when she's shown to not have any spiritual powers? I'm of the opinion that Iris' hatred is not only a product of what she's seen happen to her mother and aunt, but also very closely tied to what is, essentially, her earliest failure in life—after all, what good is a medium who can't channel? Fey women are raised to believe that their worth is linked to how well they can perform the service of their clan, which is the same reason why Maya beats herself up for failing to channel Mia in Turnabout Goodbyes and Pearl does the same with Dahlia later in this case. In a sense, Iris' hatred of spirit channeling is an externalization of her own self-hatred—unlike Dahlia, who mainly copes by lashing out and seeking revenge on those who wrong her, Iris is far too gentle and loving to lay blame on any one person. But all that repressed guilt and anger still has to go somewhere—and it manifests through this one small crack in her otherwise flawless facade. The one thing she cannot bring herself to find beauty in no matter how much she tries. The one thing that should have given her purpose but didn't—leaving her no choice but to mold herself beyond recognition over and over into roles that aren't truly her own, but at the very least give her meaning where she was denied it before.
And knowing her? She probably hates that flaw more than anything.
#ace attorney#pwaa#ace attorney trials and tribulations#aa#iris hawthorne#iris fey#iris of hazakura temple#phoenix wright#dahlia hawthorne#morgan fey#misty fey#aa3 spoilers#meta#my meta#i still have a BIT more to say about iris choosing to stay at hazakura temple in spite of this hatred#and what that says about her. but that'll have to wait for another day bc this post is already quite long#guys i love iris soooo much did you know that#local woman going feral over sister iris ace attorney for the 261478th time. more at 11
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do you have any headcannons about designer dress you can disclose? every now and then i create some of my own, but it's great finding out about the "official" ones, like why did you choose canary as mc's moniker? are we going to find out more about laswell and price? maybe gaz's mom? she seems important... what about farah's relationship with john? and some tidbits as well, like why blue? why valeria's "day job" is fashion designer? sorry the questionnaire, any piece would be great! i'm just in awe with the whole ambience you've created. much love! xx
oh i’ve got plenty of headcanons. some i won’t go into too much detail about because it would dipping into spoiler territory, but here ya go:
gaz was a big momma's boy as a kid, and when she died so soon after his father it left him with a lot of big, confusing feelings for an 8-9 year old
he was angry at price for a long time after his parents' deaths and it wasn't until well into his teenage years that he started warming up to price
farah was adopted after gaz, when her parents were killed during price's and the 141's first go around with makarov when they were both building their "empires" (we'll go more into that in the next few chapters)
gaz and farah took to each other easily, often finding comfort in their similar struggles and complicated feelings for price
price does everything he can to help gaz and farah remember their parents, mostly out of respect and love for them and their parents, but also due to that quiet guilt that he's the reason their parents are gone
gaz goes back on forth on calling price dad, but always refers to farah as his sister
farah does not call price dad, it’s always either old man or price
farah does think of gaz as a brother, but can’t bring herself to actually call him that because it makes her think of hadir
farah and gaz are best friends through and through tho
price cannot visit their parents' graves with them, he doesn't feel he has a right to, and if he goes with one of them he’ll wait in the car until they’re done to go to the grave himself
price has talked about canary to gaz’s dad’s grave
i hc price's favorite color as blue in general, hence all the blue he puts his women in
there is a difference between the blues when he gets canary a dress vs when valeria makes her one
valeria's come in various shades of blue while price's are always the same shade of blue as his eyes
he is absolutely doing it as a way to mark his territory
graves loves his women in gold and jewels and designer, it's a way to show off his wealth and status and how much he spoils them
it's all part of a carefully put together show to make himself look good
makarov does not give a fuck about any of that
his women are on display as a way to taunt and tempt his enemies because they know better than to touch what's his and he drapes them in blood-colored fabric as warning
price had a playboy phase after his (amicable) divorce from kate and it only got worse when gaz’s parents died
he never loved or really cared for any of his significant others, knowing most were just after his money, status, or bragging rights - they used him and he used them as a stress relief
when gaz moved in to the manor, he tried a few short-lived relationships that never lasted more than a few months
he stopped completely when farah moved in
price tried dating once or twice when gaz and farah were older and things were more stable but it was never anything serious until canary
price has never been in love until canary
price, nik, and gaz's dad were bffs with farah's dad joining later, and nik loves gaz and farah like his own
at one point, shepherd was included in that little group
alex and farah had a romcom-esque meet-cute at a 141 gala where alex was a guest of kate's
alex fell first, farah fell harder
price, and the rest of the 141, are good friends with kate's wife, but they don't see her often since she's not involved in their business
kate tries to keep her wife separate from that side of her life for her own safety
roach, könig, and horangi live in a three-bedroom apartment because the third bedroom was originally ghost's
outside of soap, ghost is probably closest to roach and sees him as a younger brother
no one except ghost knows how old roach is, he changes the answer every time someone asks him
roach was not born mute, it happened during a bar fight where he shielded ghost from someone with a broken bottle
ale/val/rudy have known each other since they were kids
rudy always had feelings for alejandro but never said anything, content to be friends
alejandro and valeria dated first, they broke up when valeria and alejandro disagreed with how to run the vaqueros
alejandro and rudy started dating in that time, but rudy broke up with him when valeria came back and rudy felt like alejandro wasn't over her
it was a lot of drama and feelings being shoved down that culminated in one night of drinking, arguing about emotions, and eventually a threesome
the three have been together ever since
alejandro and rudy do not necessarily approve of what valeria does with her own business - she takes a very jason todd approach to it all (aka "you can't stop crime, but you can control it") - but she does get positive results so the arguments are few and far between
rudy is a doctor first and foremost, but he's always enjoyed cooking (something something cutting into meat the same way he'd cut into a body something something) and it was his own suggestion for him to be the club chef
valeria never intended to do fashion design, but she enjoys the finer things and has specific tastes for how she wants to look
since every tailor/designer she had hired eventually ended up disappointing her, she took up the job herself
running a club was nik's idea, and it took him a few months and a lot of badgering to convince price to go along with it
price agreed only because 13-year-old gaz mumbled that "it'd be kinda cool" one night at dinner
the singer position at the club was made specifically for farah because she found comfort singing songs her mother used to sing to her and hadir when they were little
on special occasions, soap will take over at the bar and alex will get on stage and play guitar alongside farah as she sings
soap was gaz’s friend that he introduced to the club and he became fast friends with everyone
eventually price hired him after recognizing how smart and perceptive soap was
soap is in his position for a reason, the guests are more than happy to ogle the handsome server with too many buttons undone and not notice that he's watching them back with a far sharper eye
soap and ghost were supposed to be a one-time thing meant for stress relief but ghost caught feelings and kept coming back
it took ghost ages to admit he cared for soap and when the realization hit, it scared the hell out of him but roach convinced him to talk it out with soap
soap is the only person ghost would ever disobey price for, but he would never admit that
alex gushes to gaz about farah nonstop and talks about how he knew he was going to marry her the moment they met
gaz was happy for them, but he never really got it...until he met tabby
nik sometimes gets too drunk and reminisces about his wife back home
no one knows if he actually has a wife, or where “back home” is, his stories are all the same, but the little details change every time
könig and horangi were together before they joined the 141, and könig moved in with roach and ghost completely unaware that they worked for price
the 141 refers to kortac as "könig's people" because it's a far more complicated system of contacts and connections that would take a week to describe
ghost’s entire spine pops when he gets out of bed in the morning, and it freaks soap out
roach was a track star in highschool
price has the highest kill count in the 141, soap and valeria have a not-so-friendly competition going for second place
canary got her nickname from her father
graves did have romantic feelings for canary at one point, but that quickly got overshadowed by his want for adler to recognize and approve of him
adler only approved canary and graves’s marriage because canary asked him to - the contract was his one condition for that approval
russell adler died two days after canary and graves got married
graves only has two preferences when it comes to his women: rich & powerful
price cares about his people, but it borders on a possessiveness that he keeps very well hidden
price has built a very strict set of rules about who his people kill and how far they can and cannot go
he will end business relationships if someone steps out of line
valeria has come close on several occasions
makarov does not care - he will kill men, women, children, old, young, pregnant, etc. blood is blood, it doesn't matter who it comes from
that’s not say price wouldn’t do what needs to be done to protect his people
price cares about family above all else, and he will go scorched earth on anyone who would dare to threaten or hurt them
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the babbit fnaf AUs masterpost is here
just abt broke my fingers typing all this bs but, this should answer at least most general questions abt any of my given aus and provides links to related doodles of said aus!
prepare yourselves, fellas, this is gonna be a long one.
AU Masterpost START
Afton virus AU:
This is the one where Reader is a mechanic working at the Plex who successfully made Sun/Moon into two animatronics, but unfortunately gets into a workplace accident that completely mangles their hands. The accident leaves them traumatized and with hands that are slow and shaky and painful to use even after months of physical therapy.
When they attempt to return to the Plex, management approaches them with a proposal: take a large sum of money, leave FazCo, and never speak a word of the accident to anyone. Reader has been struggling with feeling like their life, their ambitions, their dreams, were crushed alongside their hands, and realizing that FazCo just wants to sweep the entire incident under the rug and brush them aside as collateral is more than they can stand. They manage to convince FazCo to let them stay as head mechanic/mechanics supervisor; so long as they are allowed to continue to work there, they will not disclose what happened to them under FazCo’s working conditions.
Reader, swept up in their own grief, trauma, heartbreak, and outrage, dives down the rabbit hole of FazCo’s history of sweeping problems and tragedies under the rug. The more they learn, the more their anger festers and grows and they do little to try and curb their newfound violent, impulsive thoughts.
They ‘recruit’ the other animatronics of the Plex to be their aid by simply informing them of everything FazCo has done and hasn’t done that has harmed and destroyed the lives of parents and children who never deserved it, and then leaving the animatronics with that information to draw their own conclusions and to choose their own sides. Most of the animatronics sided with their long-time friend, with Freddy and DJ Music Man choosing to keep their hands clean but also deciding to stay quiet about what Reader, and the others, were doing.
Sun and Moon, who had already been in love with Reader for sometime before the accident, jumped willingly to Reader’s side as they went down an increasingly dark and bloody path.
They take out their spite and wrath on the members of FazCo that profit from their own corruption, their aim NOT TO KILL, but to maim beyond repair so they will have to live with the pain and unfairness in the same way the ones they hurt had to live what FazCo had, or hadn’t, done.
(relevant links to doodles n such: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/683502836785577984?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/684181412202643456?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/684984208908746752?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/688951362001747968?source=share )
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Eclipse Moves In AU:
The AU where Reader, post splitting Sun and Moon, is tasked with refurbishing and rehabilitating a long-neglected Eclipse, and chooses to bring Eclipse to the Daycare to socialize him and get him used to being around people again. Eclipse is head-over-heels for Reader and is very afraid of losing them for any reason, and also resents Sun and Moon for being, essentially, the beloved, popular successful versions of what he was SUPPOSED to be. This, of course, leads to a lot of jealous shenanigans and a lot of Eclipse attempting to steal Reader from Sun and Moon and vice versa.
(links to doodles n such: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/683590090069508096?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/684422288587751424?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/683752325631918080?source=share )
Flipparoo AU:
The mirrored-AU to the Eclipse Moves In AU, in this one Sun and Moon were the ones locked away and forgotten for years on end before Reader stumbles upon them and takes them in. In this one, Eclipse is referred to as ‘Solar’ and is a playful, mischievous preschool-teacher like figure in the Daycare. He wants to be kind and supportive to Sun and Moon on their journey to recovery, but Sun and Moon openly hate. His. Guts.
In this AU, Sun and Moon are extremely possessive and impulsive in their actions and emotions. They care for Reader more than anything else and are violently paranoid of losing them, especially to Solar, and tend to be more forceful and harsh to Solar and, at times, by extension, Reader, than they should be. More than once, they drag Reader away from Solar, leaving prints on Reader’s arms from their grip. Reader, more than anything else, doesn’t want to hurt them while they’re trying to help them get better, and has little backbone in attempting to stop Sun and Moon when the two are being irrational and violent. Solar, similarly, knows that the last thing Reader wants is for him to give Sun and Moon more reason to distrust him and everyone who gets close to the two, and struggles with wanting to protect Reader from their outbursts and trying to be as reasonable as possible with two animatronics being entirely unreasonable.
(relevant links to doodles and such: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/689128350784061440?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/689485227620532224?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/689485535541133312?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/689707454711414784?source=share )
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Readerbot/Repairbot AU:
In this AU, Reader is a staffbot outfitted to be an independent, self-maintaining on-site repairman (that they don’t even have to pay!). Through some unlucky twist of fate, they become self aware but are unable to communicate it to anyone- and honestly, they have little desire to. They’re pretty sure they’re not supposed to be aware of their own existence and to have wants and wishes and likes of their own, but they’re in no hurry to get decommissioned.
Through another extremely unlucky twist of fate, they are put to work shortly before the Afton Virus gets ahold of the plex. They have a slightly distant but fond friendship with most of the animatronics there before the events of Security Breach, with most of them treating them like a child or estranged younger sibling. They only met Sun a handful of times, all in circumstance meetings as Readerbot passes through the daycare to fix structures or change lightbulbs. They always quite liked Sun, seeing as he was so unabashedly friendly even when they had only ever made eye contact with one another, but they didn’t meet Moon until things started going wrong during the nightshift.
Long story short, Readerbot does their best to stay out of Moon’s way, but, bored when there’s no children to track down, Moon makes a game of hunting them down and scrapping them to varying degrees. On one such occasion, Moon jabbed his thumb through one of Readerbot’s eyes and cracked their head open like an egg. Since then, Readerbot has mismatched eyes of slightly different colors.
When the virus is taken care of and wiped from the Plex entirely, it takes some of Moon’s memories of being under its influence with it. He’s curious to meet the new staffbot, but half expects it to be just like all the others- mindless, thoughtless, simple machines. Imagine his surprise when Readerbot is as sentient as he or Sun, and then imagine the even greater surprise when they’re actively avoiding him for… seemingly no reason??? It becomes a story about Moon and Reader learning to navigate their own confusing grief, paranoia, and trauma, but at least they’re not alone.
(links to doodles and such: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/684082170195820544?source=share )
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Fuzzbear AU:
Sun is a rabbit, Moon is a hare, and Eclipse is a jackalope/woppeltinger. Reader is a field mouse, and a nurse/doctor. Vanessa is a cat. Gregory is also a cat. I like drawing animals. Maybe they all work in a circus or theater or smthn idk i jusst like drawing animals
(links to doodles and such: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/686769243316944896?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/687821767941685249?source=share )
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Merms AU:
Sun is a frilled shark/pacific nettle merm, Moon is a black dragonfish/octopus squid merm, and Eclipse is an orca/blanket squid merm! Reader either works in a lighthouse or is a marine biologist.
(links: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/685012310251732993?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/685237243217166336?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/685488021689237504?source=share )
(Merms AU continued) Selkie Reader AU:
Reader is a selkie- a seal shapeshifter that can shed its seal skin into a physical coat to take the form of a human! For this AU, they either run into Sun and Moon as sailors/pirates after being washed far from home by a strong storm. Sun and Moon, thinking theyre a stranger drowning in the sea, try to save them but end up damaging their seal skin dragging them into the boat. Stuck halfway between their two shapes and unable to understand what language Sun and Moon are speaking, the three have an adventure trying to communicate who they are, what they are, and what they should do next.
OR they run into Merm-Sun and Merm-Moon, and the cultural differences make everyone go ???????
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After Burn AU:
Oh man this one is such a journey to try to explain I’ll try to make this short but I can make a whole post to explain it if need be,
Takes place decades after the plex burns, in a vaguely postapocalyptic version of the world/city that exists in. Reader character wakes up in the decrepit remains of the Plex, stuck with no obvious way out and with a sizable head injury, and no memory of who they are or how they got there. Moon is one of the only animatronics still functioning and thus begins a long, angry game of cat and mouse between him and the reader. Strangely he never kills them, only makes them fall unconcious, but staying in the corpse of the plex and Moon’s repeated attacks are only making Reader’s injuries/symptoms worse, and when the two strike a truce, they have to figure a way out before one of them dies, and the other ends up trapped and alone forever.
(links: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/686477617958912000?source=share )
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Ghostie AU (aka the Witch Reader AU):
In this AU, Reader is a anxious (alleged) witch who was blinded by the people of their hometown (via being lashed across the face with a burning branch and held face down in the embers of a fire) and fled to the Cursed Dangerous Forest to hopefully avoid being punished again. Sun and Moon are spirits (a forest sprite and a woodland curse, respectively) who live in the Cursed Wood, most often either leading people in circles until they leave or making them lost for so long they either die of exposure or are attacked and eaten by any number of the wood’s natural residents.
Reader was accused of being a witch because they (unknowingly) have Spirit Sensitivity (they can feel, hear, speak to, and, previously, could see spirits of all kinds) and had been learning how to make medicine from plant life from the ghost of a long-dead herbalist.
Sun and Moon find Reader staying in an ancient abandoned cabin in their wood and shadow them, intent, at first, on either driving them from the wood or killing them altogether, but then they notice that Reader ISN’T acting the way most humans do in the forest- they’re careful, paying special attention to the plants they’ve begun to cultivate and collect. They leave the creatures living in the forest well alone, they only take what they need from the streams, their fires are made only for warmth or to cook or brew and kept very well contained, in fact, the most dangerous item they have on them at any given time is a pair of old, worn sheers they use to prune their garden and to harvest small amounts of the wild-grown plants in the area. Curious, they begin to creep into Reader’s life- shocked to find that they are blinded yet managing to survive despite it all, and shocked again to realize that Reader can tell they are there, feels them when they’re nearby and can hear them clear as day. The greatest shock, however, comes in realizing that Reader doesn’t know that they’re spirits- like they had with the ghost of the herbalist in their old village, they assume that Sun and Moon are humans, perhaps passing through the woods often to hunt or forage, similar to themselves.
Reader is anxious, overly jumpy, and fears being found by their old hometown friends and punished again. They suffer from a degree of trauma, sometimes wracked with fear and terror at even the small fire they keep in their new home. Sun and Moon grow attached to them, then fond, then wish they were living so they could be something… more. Even if you are able to hold their hands as they are now, how could you ever love them if you knew what they were?
(links: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/685833568301219840?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bones-of-a-rabbit/689579275690606592?source=share )
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Deja Vu AU:
In this AU, Reader was a handler and perhaps partner? To Sun and Moon before the whole Security Breach/Afton bs went down. In the middle of the whole mess, Reader dies whilst in the plex, bleeding out in one of the back halls after being stabbed by Vanny. Moon had passed by them as they were bleeding, but, completely lost in the virus, Moon only spares them a long stare before passing them by.
Reader goes on to haunt the plex as FazCo attempts damage control after regaining control over the animatronics. The virus is erased from existence, and to be extra safe, they wipe the animatronics’ memories as well. This AU mainly exists to be sad lmao, the main concept I have atm is Sun and Moon struggling with strange memories and thoughts and seeing a person who only seems to exist sometimes.
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What Happens in the Dark AU (might also call it Sleepless with One Eye Open?? Idk yet):
Oh this is another acid trip to explain. Basically, take Reader from (it was, in reality, not fine) and smack them into actual canon Security Breach. Reader struggles to make sense of what’s going in the plex (leading up to the events that happen in Security Breach), struggles to make friends with her security guard coworker, Vanessa, and struggles to befriend any of the animatronics- but especially Moon, who seems to revel in getting them into uncomfortable or even painful situations, and Sun, who seems to resent them and refuses to take any of the olive branches they attempt to extend to him.
Then an incident happens, Reader falls from a catwalk in a potentially fatal “accident” and though they wake up feeling fine, they can’t recall what happened that night. Though they feel fine in the wake of the incident, the entire plex is on edge- such a fall can easily kill a human, and it’s known that Vanessa, Moon, and Monty were in the vicinity when it happened- all of whom have been known to make threats against or voiced severe dislike for Reader. No one is willing to admit to anything, and Reader can’t remember anything but waking up with Vanessa in the employee’s first aid room- and they get horrifically painful, splitting headaches when they try to think about it.
Moon, in the wake of the accident, begins to (visibly) lurk around Reader more often, keeping a constant eye on them and becoming, in some small way, their ally. Reader is thrown into the middle of a conflict they don’t understand or even realized was happening when a child is trapped within the plex after closing, and fights to hold onto their own sense of reality and humanity all the while.
In the end, it comes down to them, Moon, Freddy and Gregory, and Vanessa- and whether the reader is willing to trust, and willing to forgive
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ALL RIGHT SORRY FOR THE LENGTHY SYNPOSIS’ IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN STORY IDEAS WORTH SHIT SJFHSJDFSHF
#bones of a rabbit#bones of a rabbit fnaf#fnaf au#fnaf x reader#fnaf sun/moon x reader#fnaf fanfic#bones of a rabbit fic#babbit au masterpost#merm au#Afton virus au#fuzzbear au#readerbot au#deja vu au#what happens in the dark au#ghostie au#after burn au#eclipse moves in au#flipparoo au#i didnt edit any of this my brain is a scrambled egg sorry sjhfjsdfh#sorry if there are a bunch of typos n shit hhhfj
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im curious to know your thoughts on viktor's biography saying jayce was nothing more than an inconvenience. how do you handle him saying they were never friends? was this because of piltoverians superiority or? (correct me if im wrong but i cant remember if you touched on that)
A friend of mine once said a catastrophic breakup has the unforeseen consequence of tainting everything that came before it in the harsh, abrasive light of the fresh argument, and after that initial damage is done it’s hard to pick out how the memories *really* were. No matter how positive. You begin to doubt, re-read and re-write what happened, so the ultimate split "makes sense."
This may not even be a conscious process half of the time! But jokes about crazy-ex-girlfriends exist for a reason, and I believe that reason might be a surplus of unwarranted crazy-ex-girlfriend stories that are told after the dissolution of every messy relationship. You need a clear Right and a clear Wrong. Rationalizing your behavior as “only logical, in the face of irrationality,” is a defense mechanism. It’s not a pretty one, but it boils down to this: avoidance of guilt, rejection of any criticism you may consider too true, the reshaping of your narrative so *you* are the one in control, the winner, the guy who’s closing the debate with the perfect comeback, one thought up in the shower 12 hours after the fact.
Viktor lies a lot. By omission, exaggeration, negligence and a sense of dwindling pride. Jayce is simultaneously unstoppably unjust and a worm-man that could be crushed beneath his heel; an insufferable viktor never chose for himself! Who is, at the same time, somehow, his work partner of years, actively by his side right up until his last project - or until he's had enough. And the dissonance is the point. This is an image that has been warped so much in editing you can see the smudgy click and drag marks in the surroundings.
I do think Jayce and Viktor were friends, and this is an assertion I make without doubt. Viktor calls jayce his old friend when the plea benefits him, this is corroborated by how positively Jayce's bio speaks about Viktor, even while criticizing his methods.
Jayce is indifferent to nearly everyone he meets, he says so himself, in his opening paragraphs; if he really was so Out There To Get Viktor And Ruin His Life &/Or Reputation- what fucking reason does he have to defend Viktor's honor after he's proved himself to be unstable and aggressive? If their relationship was nonexistent, sour, or predicated exclusively in rivalry or animosity, why does Viktor ask for Jayce to join him in his grand plan, after years of alleged cold war? What reason is there for Jayce to apologize and still extend him an out after Viktor sinks his head in with a giant crystal? What reason is there for him to even disclose doing that? (what reason is there for Jayce to call Viktor petnames after multiple direct attempts on his life???? LOL)
To put it mildly. If we are to take Viktor’s POV by his word (imagine he is being honest,) and see this as a straightforward detached revenge story about prejudice or jayce’s unreasonable hero complex or piltover carelessly wanting to trump over zaun or whatever - why doesn’t Jayce’s side of the story simply call him a cunt and move on? He has all the setup to prop himself as the true hero, but he doesn’t. Like Bon points out here, Jayce’s bio doesn’t even bring up that Viktor is a Zaunite. Not Once. There is no stereotypical city grudge casting him in a bad light. The information is implicit: they talk about Zaun, extensively, but Viktor’s ideas and standing and existence are what you know him by, not some undercity-dwelling boogeyman. If anything, Jayce self-deprecates far more frequently than Viktor does, and makes a sustained effort to poke holes on the audience’s perception of him being a ‘valiant hearted hero’ of any kind. He dont give a fuck. He doesn't want this title. He did not pick it. He is not choosing to represent this city. He has other, better, palpable things to care about. Namely his work, and generally ‘preventing people from being made into fucking zombies’. Jayce doesn’t want you to think that he is right(eous), but that what is happening is wrong.
If I take a step back from text interpretation here and tell you what I personally gather from it, Opinion Wise, it's this: Viktor is concerned with presenting you with a tragic fable because he has an ideology to sell. The revisions and concessions he makes along the way are for the ultimate purpose of crafting a legend. And sometimes that requires humility. He needs the rationalization to make sense of every single bad thing that has ever happened in his life; and in his way there he also tends to mix up one sore spot with the other, like they're all this elaborate multi-step prank destiny sprung on him, like every single other person in his life has been Lowkey Conspiring Against Him, so you can eventually agree to this:
Humans suck, right? We agree humans suck, right, guys? I mean wouldn't we love it if humans didn't suck? Thats Why I Came Up With A Solution!! THE NEURALINK. - Viktor. (note: whenever there's a mention of the student body, swap it with 'Jayce' to see how the motivation builds up. Viktor makes an effort to omit him whenever possible anyway)
He's kind of at the end of his rope. This is his last ditch effort to build himself back up.
Generally speaking, the opposite goes for Jayce. He frontloads his statement with mentions of how he is a huge dipshit, unabashedly so, to get really at the meat of things: He thinks Viktor's preaching is fucking bogus, but the point is that guy used to be his friend. That guy used to be someone he knew! That guy was brilliant at what he did, even, but something went really terribly wrong down the line and it's frankly fucked up that it happened. But nobody really cares nor can they fully understand, because as Jayce previously stated, maybe everyone else is kind of fucking stupid, so he has to fix things on his own. (Jayce doesn't have any 'I stand for justice and righteousness and the american way,' comeback prepared to rebuke Viktor's speeches. That sentence could make him barf. He just has very strong feelings about where the line is drawn, and he’s not going to wait for the worst case scenario before doing something.)
I do think that more than anything else, It’s important (and telling) that both of their bios admit to them being deeply hurt by their falling-out. Jayce calls it ‘growing more insular’, Viktor calls it ‘traumatic’, there are attempts to patch things back up on either side (even if a bit tilted, even if the propositions don’t work) Viktor regrets trusting anyone at all, so he covers it up with detachment. Jayce regrets not having enough faith to communicate anything, when he could have, so he tries his best to own up to every present or imagined failure in his way towards improvement.
Of course Viktor would describe Jayce as inconvenient. Viktor is one of the many perceived past failures Jayce is desperately trying to do damage control for. And if he *can’t* change Viktor’s mind, well. At least Jayce can stand in his way and be really, really annoying.
#Jayvik#Vikjayce#jayce giopara#viktor league of legends#jayce league of legends#Viktor lol#Jayce lol#Lesgue of legends#Legends of runeterra#Hexposts#meta tag#LOR#'legends of runeterra is arguably a side canon' Yes But none of the LOR content pertaining to vkjc directly contradicts their concepts#If anything it is literally the closest we get to character-world integration for them#And they are both depicted as considerably more put together than the immediate chaos of their bios (thanks to LOR being set After All that
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Tae didn't even say a word about Jimin. Why make a public post in the manner he did for Jk, but not his soulmate, bff, the one he said he likes the most and can't live without. I feel so sad. I been sitting here crying for days hearing Vmin were gonna be separated and Tae doesn't even say a word about him. He's just focused on Wooga and Jk. I really thought Layover rekindled something in Vmin. But now I am thinking maybe not. They are just friends. Jimin is getting massacred cause he's enlisting with Jk, while Tk is trending. And now Vmin are being dragged by both jkk and tkk, cause Tae just ignored him. This is the worst I have felt in a long time. Even worse then paris.
Its not like I was expecting a Vmin live or selfie or public goodbye in the first place, but now that Tae has done it for others, it just really feels empty. I even lied to myself and said maybe its just too hard on them and they are struggling with saying their final goodbyes, but I don't think I even believe that anymore and that is what hurts. At this point I'm just gonna say I wish them safety and happiness. I'm just lost with everything else.
I know it's quite annoying. I even felt a bit irked when Taehyung didn't do anything to commemorate his relationship with Jimin publicly especially at such a critical time, knowing they wouldn't be able to see each other in a long time but then, choosing mostly to show his interactions with Jungkook, his Wooga friends and his high school friends. But he didn't disclose pictures of him with his family. He chose to keep that to himself. Again, he didn't tell anyone when Park seo Joon had to live in his house because he was renovating his own home. It was Park seo Joon who disclosed it himself.
Actor, Park bo gum who is his very close friend and fellow Celine ambassador was silent during Taehyung's entire enlistment process but nobody drags him about it because at the back of everyone's minds, we know he must have wished him well off camera. Rm's sister posted pictures of their family during his enlistment but there were no pictures of Taehyung with his family. Why? Because he chose to keep them private which I believe he also did with Jimin and if they are close the way I think they are, then it's understandable the reason why.
The members all had a joint live and judging from vmin's interactions, where they were so giggly and interactive with each other especially with Jimin finding it difficult to restrain himself from touching Taehyung, I wonder how it's possible for them to suddenly become so cold to each other so soon after wards? It makes no sense.
Now as for who is going with who to the military, i wonder why it's distressing people. The only thing I hate about the whole situation is that Jk has to go to the military when he still has a few more years left. He is doing this to keep up with 2025 bts reunion when even his fellow 97 liner friends aren't even thinking about it yet. That is sad. I had thought the members would all go one after the other. However, that was not to be.
Funny enough, the moment I heard that Jimin and Jungkook used the buddy system to enlist together, I became more convinced that they're not a couple. It won't be easy to hide a gay relationship especially for people as famous as them. Let's say the soldiers don't care but they do have family members who are fans of them, who would want to know every detail about their lives. Sure enough, all eyes would be on them to get juicy scoops. There will even be haters looking for an opportunity to take them down. They have to be extremely careful. They can't make a single mistake and that alone is very exhausting. If they were in a relationship, this situation could even put a strain in it. Life isn't fantasy, it's a cold hard reality. I believe Jimin and Jungkook decided to use the buddy system to make things easier. Enlisting in the army for introverted shy people like themselves can be a nightmare. At least, the fact that they can be together makes the whole experience more tolerable. But being stuck to one another also makes them a target of people's eyes because the entire country is well aware of their controversial ship. If they're in a relationship which I doubt, then they made a really risky move.
Anyway, people who are busy making an issue out of this should simply get a life. They have nothing better to do with their time which is why they decide to hate on celebrities hoping to control their lives since theirs isn't going well. Tomorrow, Jimin and Jungkook will enter the military and we won't see them again for a very long time. We should only focus on making their departure a fulfilling one.
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Is it weird that I google my therapist almost every week?
I don’t think it’s weird - it’s natural to feel curious about the person you spill some of your darkest secrets to - but I also don’t think that this is a particularly healthy habit to get into, either.
I’m curious to know what your motivations are for googling your therapist. Are you trying to learn more about their personal life? Are you browsing their social media? Looking at their professional page? Do you miss them in between sessions? Are you just bored? Is this a coping mechanism you do when you’re stressed out or struggling?
Although it’s natural to be curious about your therapist, I do think that this is a habit you should try to break. Boundaries between mental health professionals and clients exist for very good reasons. A therapist relationship is not like any other relationship in your life - it tends to work best when you don’t know everything about your therapist.
You need to feel comfortable being completely open and honest with your therapist, and sometimes learning personal information about your therapist might unconsciously make you more hesitant to share with them. This can be perfectly innocent - if you find out, for instance, that your therapist’s husband cheated on her, you might not want to share your own struggles with being cheated on, for fear that you might trigger painful memories for her. If you find out that your therapist experienced something traumatic, you might not want to share your own traumas because you feel they aren’t as serious as hers.
Your therapy sessions work best when they are all about you and your emotions - when you know too much personal information about your therapist, you will have an unconscious tendency to try to manage their emotions alongside your own, which could impact what you are comfortable sharing with your therapist. Sometimes therapists will choose to share information about themselves with you (this is called “self-disclosure”), but this is always supposed to be done strategically, and with the intent of benefitting you in some way.
If, for instance, I’m working with a domestic violence survivor who is reluctant to share her story because she is convinced that I won’t believe her, I may self-disclose that I am also a survivor (although I will never go into detail) - the point of that disclosure is to show her that I get where she’s coming from, and to further reassure her that I will believe her. More disclosure than that would be inappropriate - if she knew more about my specific story, she might decide that her experiences don’t “count” if they weren’t as severe as mine, or she might feel like she has to stop and comfort me, which is the opposite of what is supposed to be happening. If I’m sharing something about myself, there has to be a purpose for it, and it has to benefit the client - NOT me.
Professional boundaries are also important because in some cases, getting too “close” to your therapist can actually make you less likely to share with them, for fear that you are personally disappointing them. Instead of thinking “wow I am not doing well, I definitely need to let my mental health professional know about this”, people can get into a place where they think “wow I am not doing well, I’m letting Sarah down so much by relapsing like this after all the hard work she did, and she’s going to be so upset”. Your relationship with your therapist is the one relationship in your life that is truly about you, and it’s best to keep it that way.
On top of that, I would recommend not googling your therapist outside of work because there is just not much you can gain from that. Your therapist probably has her social media profiles on “private”, and even if she doesn’t, she isn’t allowed to add her clients. She has a life outside of being a therapist that her clients are not part of, and she also deserves to be able to maintain that boundary.
I know it’s hard to break the habit of googling someone you are curious about, but it’s important to try. Find other things to occupy your time - google other subjects you’re curious about, chat with friends, explore new hobbies. If you feel comfortable, talk to your therapist about this behaviour and how you can work on changing it. In the long run, your professional relationship with your therapist will be better for it.
Hope this helps!
MM
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Tav is the God of Defiance
Headcanons/ Fic Plot Overview
A/N: Has life been kicking my ass? Yes, but let’s not get into that. The whole Tav as God thing has really been burrowing deeper into my psyche and I need to get it out here or I may actually just go insane.
Enjoy some quickly thrown together headcanon type ideas - I may expand on these later if I can find the time in between work and everything else.
See prior drunken ramblings about God!Tav here
Before BG3:
Tav has been living almost exclusively in the material plane since the events of the Second Sundering. While they are empowered to live amongst mortals because Ao forbids it they can’t exactly risk returning home in case they get stuck there. It's sneaking back in when your parents are distracted sort of situation.
I imagine that at one point that Tav was traditionally worshipped, but as the other Gods pulled further back on Ao’s command the mortals around Tav likely began to question why their God was still walking amongst them. Or maybe a wandering God is simply too hard to keep track of in legend - especially when they can no longer disclose their godhood to followers. The old ones die - and no one was there to replace them. The traditional faith simply died out.
Tav has been adventuring for centuries, strengthening the resolve of their companions in the face of dire circumstances and impossible odds. This defiance they demonstrate in close proximity to the God enough to sustain Tav even if it wouldn’t grant them the same power they had before from temples and clerics.
I think regardless of the class you choose Tav is at least a little bit of a bard - if only to hide their godly magic as some form of bardic inspiration during a battle.
They always inevitably end up alone as their companions leave them behind, either leaving adventuring to retire or more likely dying despite Tav’s best effort.
While they can defy almost anything, there’s a finality in death that’s much older and primal than even Ao and there’s nothing to be done against that. Tav takes the pleasure they can in staving off death for their beloved friends as long as possible before it comes to claim them.
Tav doesn’t just simply gravitate towards the longer lived races on Toril, there’s something more potent probably in the defiance of a mortal that is risking their almost comically short life in comparison to that of an aged elf. Though longer lived races do allow Tav to go longer before losing another friend or lover.
During BG3:
As a God, hearing whispers of a new God calling itself the Absolute isn’t what you want to hear. Not when they - like you, appear to be directly interfering with the lives of mortals. Tav gets away with it purely by the nature of their domain. This new God may not be so lucky.
Combined with the increase of murders in Bhaal’s name in Baldurs Gate, and stirrings at Moonrise Towers which Tav knows all too well to be a Shar cursed land - Tav is compelled to investigate.
Finding themselves aboard a nautiloid has Tav panicked - this is looking to be a much larger threat to their beloved mortals than previously expected.
They have no allies with them though - no angered cries or acts of defiance to power them in this moment. Not that it matters. Interfering in the lives of a handful of mortals is one thing - but fighting against multiple Gods for the sake of all mortals would be a step too far for Ao.
This all changes when Tav is infected with a mindflayer tadpole.
Those infected with tadpoles are a threat to all those around them for many reasons. An individual with secret and forbidden knowledge is a tantalizing target to add to an illithid colony’s hive mind. What would happen if a God were to be transformed? Tav’s hand is forced, they’ll need to escape - gather allies and fight.
Upon crashing the nautiloid near the Emerald Grove and realising that most of their innate abilities are dampened by the psychic powers of the tadpole, Tav has to scramble to form an adventuring party. Thankfully - a group of desperate adventurers all with their own tadpoles to remove and lives they desperately want to return to just may very well have enough defiance in them for Tav to kill a God.
Tav just has to convince them to fight long enough to get the job done.
#baldur's gate 3#bg3 headcanons#bg3 tav#tav is god#am i ever going to write this#probably not cause i have like 8 fics on the go#bg3 brainrot#shitty fic writing
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Maybe its bad on my part but im native, trans, bi, afab and disabled... Ill never get an actual diagnosis just because of one of those but all 5? No way and tbh... I dont think it'll do me any good other than give me another hurdle when it comes to getting gender affirming care or adopting or even getting treated like an adult. Me and my system are ok and i dont experience distress from my system enough to think i need psychological help.
Idk if i can handle some white ass cishet abled doctor walking up and saying i dont have it and gaslighting me.
I hope this dosent conceded cause thats not my intention but even though im anti-endo, i get their distrust in the medical system and why diagnosis is something many wont persue. 1 because many of them know the doctor will diagnosis them correctly(as having trauma or having something different) and 2 because american doctors are not a safe place like... Ever. If your not a cishet abled white man.
So, a lot to cover here.
I'm white, afab, trans, bi, with multiple partners. I was diagnosed at about 21, and I've been in and out of therapy ever since. I'm also Canadian. Getting diagnosed was the best thing to ever happen for me, and I have several friends with the same experience.
And several who had bad experiences.
My experience will not be everyone's.
I am not pushing for anyone to get diagnosed. Doing so is a personal choice, and a decision that should be made by you, and your therapist if you have one. There are many reasons someone might get diagnosed (access to resources and specific care, financial support, etc) and just as many reasons someone might not want to get diagnosed. You also don't need a diagnosis to get the help you need.
What I DO want to people to hear is: whatever decision you make, do it with the REAL facts.
If you're going to choose not to get diagnosed, don't do it based on bullshit you see or hear on the internet. I made a post several months ago about someone going around saying that a diagnosis will stop you from getting housing, a job, and being able to buy alcohol, of all things, as if you have to present your mental papers to the cashier.
None of those are true. Gender affirming care also can be still be given and received, with an added step of a psychiatric evaluation (which is mandatory in Canada anyways for everyone, regardless of mental health, so if you think about it, you're not really losing anything). You can still adopt and have a family. You can own a home and have a job.
If you take anything away from my blog, it should be this:
Know your rights, and know how to exercise them
There are assholes everywhere, I'm not denying that. There are people who will bend rules and laws and who will use personal information (like diagnoses) against you. I'm not blaming anyone who has had this happen to them, either, as if they should have preemptively known better. No, that's not it at all.
Being aware that it happens, though, know that you have rights-- you're protected by employment, privacy, and human rights laws (yes, even in America, I debunk more American myths than Canadian). You do not need to disclose for work, except for positions in the military, certain healthcare positions, and when working with vulnerable sectors, and even in those cases, not always, and it can't affect their decision to hire you. You don't need to disclose for housing. You don't need to tell anyone anything, and you shouldn't, unless you need reasonable accommodations, and once they have that information, it can't be used against you. Don't let them. Easier said than done, I know, I've let things slide myself that, looking back, I wish I hadn't. Sometimes it's just easier, even if it's not right.
Point is, when in doubt, question everything. Do your own research, find your own answers, look for sources, question facts you see that aren't cited.
When you make decisions for yourself, be certain you're making it for the right reasons, and with the right information.
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So after my other assessment about a month ago I called a psych NP to medically address the ADHD… I wanted to see somebody outside of my hospital group because 1) I didn’t want to have to go through my PCP (who, for the last three years, has refused to even consider I might be ADHD, let alone the potential autism) and 2) I might have rotations at the hospital and I wanted to keep my own medical stuff independent from the people who are required to assess me and give me grades.
Anyway she didn’t call me back for like 3 weeks, but she DID call me last week and I met with her this Tuesday. Yay, right?
And while she is operating under the belief that I likely DO have ADHD, she wants formal neuropsych testing (you know, like the computer based TOVA thing, I think, and other assessment tools). I was referred out AGAIN, and I think Thursday THAT provider called me back. I set up an appointment for this upcoming Friday, and now I can’t remember when I see the psych NP again, but we are actually going somewhere.
And I’m a little scared?
Like what if the testing doesn’t show enough impairment and thus they don’t think I have ADHD? I did the CAARS scale already online to prep for it, and since I don’t really have strong emotional lability and pretty much no anger, and I’m very much inattention and no hyperactivity, which may be not enough. Like I’m just not inattentive ENOUGH. If I was just a little hyperactive or had just a little more anger it would be enough, but it’s not enough now. And if it’s not enough will they try to give some other BS reason why I do what my husband calls “squirreling?” (which is when I start a project or a task, get distracted, get distracted from my distraction, get distracted from THAT distraction, and eventually I have done maybe 5% of 50 different tasks that I haven’t finished and I’m so tired and burnt out I need a nap).
The rational mind says “it’s so classic inattentive ADHD; of course testing will show it,” but the fearful part of me just says nope, the problem is you, you don’t try hard enough, you don’t have grit, that’s why everything is harder, and they will tell you that and leave you on your merry way to tell your husband it turns out you just suck and if he wants to have a happier home divorce may be required because why stay with somebody who can’t just choose to be a normal functioning adult. (Yes this is catastrophizing).
This doesn’t even touch the autism part. Which since I don’t think that needs any treatment, I wasn’t seeking anything about that with psych NP and she didn’t include it on the referral. It’s not that I hide it, I disclose it to my medical team, I just am not coming into the appointments with anything autism-related as my “chief complaint.”
But I’m also a little concerned that the neuropsychologist is going to blame EVERYTHING on the autism, and then say there isn’t anything I can do to treat it, so now it’s at least not my fault but I don’t have much hope of being successful because I just have to live with it and work within my means which at this point in time maybe I can do med school or maybe I’ll struggle with focus so much alongside the, you know, stress of being autistic and having my cohort know something is “off” about me but it’s not SO obvious that they’re nice because they know it’s autism and instead they just avoid me because I’m weird (and yes I’m catastrophizing again)
Also also my car still has its snow tires on, so my husband tried to get an appointment to swap them out, but they are booked for over a month… so instead he is dropping it off Monday and they will do it whenever they get around to it which could take all week. Not that I’m ungrateful to them always being able to work my car in for tire changes, but our other car is a manual, which I can’t drive, so I’ll be stuck at home. I also didn’t get a say in this so it was just thrust on me like “oh btw starting Monday morning you can’t go anywhere for an indefinite amount of time that you have no control over.”
Which is also an issues because Thurs and Fri I was too distracted with assessment intake paperwork and disorganized to get myself into the gym so I was really hoping to go on my normal days next week, but alas.
It’ll probably all be fine. I’ll get my car back on Wednesday or maybe Thursday morning and just miss another couple days. The neuropsych assessment will be fine because I AM disorganized and distractible with attentional control issues. And even if the NP requires I start with Strattera (nobody in my family with ADHD has had success with it), I’ll still be one step closer to medical management to actually help me function better.
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"June 2nd tweets...here we go...",
"I‚m nothing like Ashton Kutcher, not even in my own right, especially nowadays.-",
"-But in my old Twitter days (back in 2012), I‚d tweet this following train of thought often. It went along the lines of: Ashton Kutcher is actually famous, ‚a somebody,‚ who needs to safeguard his reputation from libel, ‚and probably has and pays ‚Äòagents‚ of his own choosing‚ to-",
"-to monitor his likes and reputation. I‚m so not Ashton Kutcher in that regard or any regard. Yet I have people ‚steering my life as a whole.‚ I did not select them, and I do not even know them. They‚ve been doing what they want with a regular nobody‚life for 11+ years. -",
"-What do you make of that? Why am I not protected by my American citizenship amidst mindless zombies who just see - say it slowly: 11 years of secrets on a massive scale- everything as ‚cute‚ or casual. I mean to see this as cute... what kind of a rosy picture are you getting?-",
"-Do U know what great lengths the orchestrators took 2make me look crazy? The actual things done recently, &over these past 11 years? Where is that famous American altruism? Did they tell people these things? Not going to say it myself at this point, let the orchestrators do it.-",
"-Do they tell people, that I wrote complaints 2the FBI &that they hijacked my phone calls 2the police or rerouted them? Do they tell people about my run in w/the police at my old house &what they did with me, 4talking about ‚the situation‚ with my parents and telling the truth?-",
"-Do people care to ask? Are the orchestrator waiting for my permission to disclose? I mean, I give the orchestrators permission to disclose their aforementioned misdeeds. In cr*p American psychology, they‚re usually concerned about psychological impacts and trauma. -",
"-These racist f*ks didn‚t give a d*mn with me cuz I wasn‚t a blonde girl. Sick people on me, I dare you. Im not attached to conveniences of my life through years of meditative practices. Watch, despite that, for who I am during our 1st &actual confrontation/meeting. &my parents?-",
"-While you‚ve been living and continuing with your lives, while giving me a hard time, remember all these things you had me face. To speak in terms of your background, you had an altar server face the police, so don‚t dare to judge me for what I say or write. -",
"-and throughout all these experiences, I was compliant throughout everything-that too for 11 years. It just goes to show you, words usually being the answer, can only do so much. You deal with man-demons, don‚t waste time on word",
"next thing...-",
"-So on 6/1, I find out a doctor who my family knows, died on the evening of 5/31. She‚Harvard educated-all that work and to only pass away in her 40s. She‚a doctor and her husbands a doctor. They have two small kids, 10 and under. -",
"-She has the figure of someone, out of this world: like nice face, nice voice, only says nice things, goes out of her way for others, and smiles through everything. God bless her soul. -",
"-You see it as a privilege to be close with someone with those qualities and wish you could‚ve had the opportunity, outside of this situation.-",
"-Thats 1 woman who dies without seeing me on the other side of theSituation. Life, every second of thought/words/action is a gift thats normally invigorating. But its never long enough. Its in such a world, where 11+ years are taken out of ur life by genuine demons. They smile,-",
"-may seem altruistic, but the reality is, a normal human being cannot inflict pain on another, for an extended amount of time, without reason, simply for everyone to watch. They are Legion from the Bible, enveloping the masses.",
"oh and something else -",
"-I used to think of Americans as world saving altruists, and the setting here, on a good day without crime, to be like heaven with all its people. But in the last 11+ years, there‚something very wrong with the general mindset. -",
"-It doesn‚t seem like the common man is ‚awake‚-May sound like something from The Matrix. Everyone here is so plugged in and lacking in insight. I mean of all people, it was Americans that allowed this situation to fall on another American. -",
"-Rather than following your heart, your human spirit, you mindlessly/mechanically do what some...people?! ... tell you to do. Christ talks about the flesh and spirit being at war. But here, in America, the country lacks a soul. The nation‚people lack maturity.-",
"- but in the face of big progress like the aforementioned, why halt or delay change, because of a sudden concern how billion dollar companies will suffer. When two competing small businesses on the same street result in one failing, that same concern doesn't exist. -",
"-It's seen as the price of advancement and change.",
I once said we as a people always have what we need 2 progress or2 rise out of a situation however little/however much. It's about keeping our eyes open & exerting effort. I have the Alexia meditation seat. 4 the life of me I can't sit w/my legs folded. This $300 chair helps.-
https://t.co/q0wKoYyslj
"- its a bit of a relaxed example, but point being, if you can sit with comfortably with your legs folded, why do you need the meditation chair?",
"I don‚t think people get the value of someone‚undivided attention; their ability to listen.-",
"- sometimes with our own children, we dismiss everything as something inane or silly or not worth putting on the top of our list, as we‚re juggling work or making them dinner-",
"- but one thing I realized with some of my little cousins, looking at them, listening and responding to what they have to say, really makes them happy-",
"- in the workplace, you might be surprised how much of what‚said back and forth isn‚t of substance. You start off with one person speaking vaguely, then the next guy responds vaguely, might throw in a vague American reference-",
"- with politicians, I‚ve seen a clip where someone is asked something, and they‚re so out of it, they‚ll need to hear it again, and then they just keep repeating a reference that had no meaning and it‚taken as a joke. In our world, everyone just dismisses it.-",
"- Listening can have mutual benefits.",
"So, saw \"Jason Gordon Levitt\" on the news, after the repetitive topics of rigged elections, the name Hunter Biden, a symptom being live from a possible illness, the war on Ukraine causing grain shortages...there might've been one more topic that was cycled throughout the day...-",
"- Jason Gordon Levitt targets the AI effect on Hollywood workers...He says \"If AI uses your work, then you should get paid.\" I think that sums it up from which a lot of things can be extrapolated. -",
"- He says whatever is used to train the algorithm, ultimately one day producing whole movies, should be content that is paid to its source. -",
"-So this sounds like a patent. If ur sequence of camera movements, lightening techniques, wardrobe styles, acting styles, even faces of actors, the story lines of past movies, familiar phrases, accents, etc. are all used 4 the algorithm, U should patent it or do its equivalent.-",
"-if equivalent of a patent is applied 2 things AI replaces, U should find a way 2 attach ur individual or organizations name 2 something, so that U get royalty payments. Just seems like common sense; those who contributed 2 AI's algorithm, directly/indrectly, should be rewarded.",
"Life is like a field and we are all seeds in that field trying to sprout grow and become something. Why it rains in some areas more than others who knows.-",
"-Why it doesn't rain in some areas at all who knows. Why the earth under some seeds is more fertile.. who knows. Everyone has something and nothing going for them.-",
"-As a friend once said, ‚I‚m thankful for the things that I have but also the things I don‚t have. It‚what makes me, me.‚-",
"-Don‚t waste time hating someone for what you perceive as them having and not having because whatever it is you have/don‚t have are the tools you need to sprout grow and become something. After all, ¬†seeds do not waste time wondering what other seeds are doing.",
"I used to like to write very much. I loved twitter because it gave me a way to connect to new people and gain attention for my philosophical and perspective oriented mind. -",
"-How then can I continue to see here, as heaven-like. ive in each second, be conscious of what you do, follow your heart.Some of you hear this or something else, and look to it because it‚‚nice sounding‚ or ‚tantalizing‚ based on the subject. -",
"-But I speak/write to instill it‚meaning, to make a point, for others to learn from. Wake up, live a life of meaning.-",
"-Don‚t do things ‚for show‚ as ‚this situation‚ relays everything ‚for show.‚ Do things cuz it‚right or cuz it matters. Me? From all this? I just want a natural setting as described several times. -",
"-Relaying accomplishments, possible purchases, or whatever, has nothing to do with the goal set by me. It just builds random hype around a regular guy. -",
"-The orchestrators go against my whole way of doing things. Im a liberal when it comes to religion, but I go by whats said Biblically with respect to this. Do things good, do things in secret, to please your Heavenly Father who sees what‚secret, and He will reward you. -",
"-The orchestrators just can‚t respect my faith and wishes.",
"and something that happened the other day...-",
"-Went down to my basement - the other day-to do one thing, ended up doing 10 different things roaming through the mind, for other things present in life-",
"-I mean I have a focus now: Working, and working out. Based on those 2 goals, normally I‚d ignore other thoughts/ideas to possibly 10 other goals you didn‚t consider‚Äîhence how a person focuses. -",
"-(And then there are the thoughts/ideas/whatever cluttering ur mind b/c of orchestrators & the daily problems created & sourced in them, that is also taxing on ur focus-too much upstairs-& thats when every1‚having U explain every word, every action- peace of mind is priceless.-",
"-at Iona Prep High School, my GPA, weighted, was a 4.2 out of 4.0...at the party school where my parents paid for a private appointment and food delivery, having to only study, I should‚ve had at least a 4.0 GPA. -",
"-Knowing what theyve invested in me, I don‚t know why my parents are allowing this 2 happen 2 their son for 11 years. For 11 years, my mother has shown me a worse attitude then usual, minus loving listening or conversation or empathy...this is my world, but back to the point..)-",
"-But then when you‚re in a problem multiplied by a worsening factor against you by 11 years, you think to show other aspects of you. Attending to ‚the thing‚, ‚ the situation‚,‚the unknown‚ is time consuming and expensive. -",
"-Be it writing away your life or buying your coffee to meet people you‚re pretty sure will not talk to you. Truth be told, times 11 years, \"the situation\" and ur life in it, is all unrewarding. -",
"-Fills the mind with too many things to do...I mean when you do stuff, you orient your focus accordingly. But with the unknown and its variables, too many things demanding of your focus.",
"on a related note, but also transitioning to normal tweets for the day-",
"-Clear and settle your mind, you slowly but surely, make progress in getting things done, and ultimately get things done...writing such things down can provide a release in normal situations, where everything‚not relayed-like in the Harry Potter series,-",
"-Dumbledore uses what‚called a ‚Pensieve‚ (a bowl of water where thoughts can be transferred to, until needed, or desired, for whatever be the purpose, ultimately clearing the mind...-",
"-I remember writing that in my first Twitter or the first time I had Twitter, with 16000 followers+...life repeats when no solutions...say the same old things cuz no one listens or likes to follow or hold onto tantalizing cr*p instead...-",
"on another note, talked to someone the other day and he suggested not to overdo something else...he‚cool, but it makes you wonder in these situations while something else is going on...is it a natural assumption or the result of a picture put in his head by someone else?!-",
"-(to the orchestrators, I‚m as good as a I say I am i.e. I take on and handle multiple kinds of sh*t)...really affects how one sees things I.e. this nonsense...-",
"-I mean, was talking to this hot girl for months a few years back and couldn‚t help but wonder if the correspondence was ‚for real‚ or because it was for entertainment...for whatever reason, she never disclosed the truth about \"the situation\" either...",
"so a thought on education...Education is not just math and science. It‚about being a thoughtful, well rounded individual. &the beauty of it is, you don‚t need a degree for that. Life experience, insight, or something else could do it too. Seeing it as anything less is ur ego.-",
"-2try 2achieve status of \"educated\", &then constantly be put in midst of those who are uneducated or who act as such can be frustrating..gotta expand the world..could lead 2meaningful conversations..rather than mechanical/uninterpreted literal understandings/talks of the Bible.-",
"-the orchestrators, in their childish way of doing things come off as uneducated. may have big degrees to use this kind of tech...but once again, it goes to show \"educated\" is not just about degrees, its how you use knowledge/experience.",
"more normal tweets in addition to the previous...-",
When you need a dual or triple monitor setup on the go or say studying/working at a coffee shop:Try the Mobile Pixels Trio monitor:
https://t.co/c92TPQ0uU2
Want to keep your coffee drinks oh warm for an extended amount of time? Try the ‚Ember mug‚ on Amazon...
https://t.co/RZmZifRT7k
"If u drinkTea, some teas require u 2 boil water&let teaBags sit 4at least 3min. But 4freshly brewed coffee or tea, it takes a while 4the beverage 2be only drinkably warm. Like 20 minutes 2 half anHour. I didn‚t want 2wait, so I thought Id give ‚HyperChiller‚ a try. $25 on Amazon.",
"So, I incorporated orangeJuice in2 my mornings, &thought Id invest in something w/comparably less sugar. Found Trop50 from Tropicana. Normal orange juice has 20+ grams of sugar. Trop50? 10 grams. Sucky part is that the Trop50 containers aren‚t as big as their biggest containers.-",
"-Trop50 tastes just as good as the original recipe...you wonder why they got to sell a version with extra sugar that has no added benefit...",
"If you‚re typing something in the Notes app, or I guess wherever on your iPhone, did you know, to undo typing, you just have to shake your iPhone up and down a few times?",
"If you have the AirPods Max headphones, did you know you cannot turn them off with a button? To conserve battery life and put them in standby, you gotta out them in the small case that it comes with.",
June 2nd early morning tweets right side up on tumblr blog link below:
https://t.co/Jvx1ULBOt2
"June 3rd tweets...as follows...-",
"-You know something, I mentioned how I like the name Rachel and once ‚knew of‚(not know) a girl named Rachel.I remember being in one of the reading rooms in the library at Binghamton, during my last year there. -",
"-Before I figured this girl was going out with someone, random girls would shout the name ‚Rachel‚ in the quiet of the reading room- alluding to my interest reaching an audience-",
"-...but in hindsight, why shout the name...was i to react to it in someway? Or was it because this cr*p started a little earlier?! I mean, what?, shout the name and see how I react? On ‚what ‚Äòlevel?‚‚ This girl would always post a profile pic with two of her best friends.-",
"-On one occasion, I told a guy I was interested in this girl. One of her best friends was sitting a distance away, diagonally, at another table, in the food court. I‚ve always wondered if this girl had super sonic hearing...-",
"-or is something relaying what I‚m saying...the very next day, after my conversation,-",
"-I go to the coffee kiosk in the library and there are girls acting differently...when the girl dates a mechanical engineering major, after Easter or spring break, I go through the dining hall and there are random girls with the look, ‚lol you lost ur chance‚...-",
"-then when I‚m at the Starbucks up in Binghamton, there‚another best friend taking a picture of me through the glass window of the starbucks. Was that to show her friend that I‚m not bothered about anything or because they were feeding into a medium? It could be-",
"-the medium as there were other kids with cameras...I think I remember telling my own friends about it. When I wrote about the girl on Facebook in Albany, a friend from a part time job in Binghamton messaged me on Facebook saying it‚a bad idea. -",
"-I guess I forgot 2remove him before writing was intended. But the thing with this is, in my calculus class in Albany, there was white male - little older than the rest- on 1day, who seemed enthusiastic to talk to me. Post writing on Facebook, he looked serious and ignoring me.-",
"-How could all of these social or environmental reactions happen within a day?! While I was in freedom apartments in Albany, there was what sounded like these slight male/female voices for a brief time while I was only there. Were those my roommates or...-",
"-questions questions, is cr*p American psychology waiting for something like this as part of their ridiculous methodology for some sissy American girl treatment? Trust me, in saying that I‚m not advertising myself as ‚gangsta.‚ What do you think of me? -",
"-You see a soft angle to a multi angle personality and think I‚m going to sensitively handle or cannot handle everything? What is my focus, and who is my audience?- remember that from the complaint form writing?! Am I not repeating everything from 11 years ago?-",
"-Compared 2habits now like buying sh*t, back then I was working out &swimming @ the local YMCA. So what is this cr*p about?! When I went to the FBI office in Bethlehem, NY , before the agent I spoke with, spoke to me, him &a woman on the upper floor of that area had these looks -",
"-on their faces like why is ‚he‚ here... when I wrote on a complaint form he suggested-probably as part of the f*kin country‚conspiracy to get me to write all day everyday- about certain kids, they walk past me, enraged, the next day. -",
"-When I went to guilderland police department in the middle of the night, there was an officer behind a computer screen and an female officer talking to me. After talking to me partially, the female officer goes to the guy at the computer and I hear ‚what! You means it‚true?!‚-",
"-Then she returns and tells me that what I‚m saying is nothing. This much denying and getting people to follow instructions. I tell people to do something good with their lives, for themselves, they won‚t do it. But you manage the world to be fake around me!-",
"-How is that, why is that? Remember you racist f*, in the end of this, one of us will be ruined. Whites and blacks, see your country in all its glory.",
"now in shifting the mood, focus...moving onto the next thing...",
"so a thought on relationships...-",
"-I believe before meeting a woman to be your girl friend or wife, having a career or at least a promising academic career, is essential. I means it‚different if ur just friends. When I first started college with my first major of engineering, it wasn‚t going well. -",
"-In trying 2also have a good routine/schedule/full life, I still made time 4working out, part time jobs, &a girl friend. But as engineering went south, despite the great girl friend (she would walk from her off campus apartment to the campus library to study with me at 6 am),-",
"-I didn‚t feel comfortable being in a relationship or asking someone out, when priority wise, my academic career was on the line. I want to have a life like my friend Sean and his wife. -",
"- Both of them have degrees, both of them are lawyers, both of them have each other‚back in all aspects-what a quality life you can build like that. They were best friends when we were all in college-What a privilege. -",
"-In my opinion, a career or academic career is essential 2a relationship, because when, in whatever regard, things get serious, u have a way of supporting each other or a potential way of supporting each other. When married or in a relationship, I want 2be an asset 2my partner, -",
"-I want 2make her day, and I want her to make mine. Even with the concept of flings, a career or academic career is essential. I mean regarding that, I feel Im from a different time. Amongst present college kids and that age group, things seem to be liberal and ok being liberal.-",
"-I mean, I went 2college in 2006 when Facebook 1st started- from a different time. When I‚d interact with kids as a Residential Consultant ( label for IT Support part time jobs for college dorms) while living in the dorms in 2007 and 2008, I noticed every year, students change-",
"- in personalities. I think 2006 freshman were the last of an era, at least at Binghamton. I went to schools in the 90s where they tell you to act responsibly and be mindful of the consequences of your actions in a relationship and elsewhere- different time.-",
"-When I transferred to the party school, maybe my peers of the time thought I‚m a freshman or that I‚m a teenager. But I was in my very early 20s. I grew up with a private education and transferred to a state school- a different sub culture. -",
"- I was in grade school when Britney Spears came out with ‚Oops I did it again,‚ the age of the Spice Girls, and the maca rana (the dance, if that‚how it‚spelled). If a fling goes south, with no career or academic career, how do you take care of things?...-",
"-I mean in most cases, not the kinda thing you‚d ideally want to go to your parents about. In the time I grew up, having a lot of girl friends or flings put women off. It ruins ur chances of meeting that dream girl for the future. -",
"-But nowadays, I think people think or are taught differently or are set one way by their friends. Honestly, I don‚t know what to make of things anymore - not in a good way or a bad way. -",
"-I think women as a whole have changed. U always hear guys are after only 1 thing, but there was 1 girl I liked, who I wasn‚t sure liked me, there were some interactions like we became Facebook friends, then all of a sudden she deletes me without cause &goes a step further to -",
"-block me- a little extreme. You get curious and manage to see the profile pic of her under the covers with the lead guy in a band. To make someone jealous? Or wanting to fulfill a - I guess - a girls dream of being with a guy in a band?..-",
"-no offense to him, but I don‚t think on my worst day, I‚d lose a girl to him, but whatever. Even compared to her, or in general, I don‚t get how girls pick guys. -",
"-Point being women can be strange and have changed over time. On that note, I think it happened in April. In Binghamton, it was a time for spring dances at the school, and I couldn‚t help but think, amidst her friends, -",
"-this girl would wanted to take part in something like that or might feel left out. There was a time I‚d see her going up the stairs to the dorm as I‚d go down, and she was carrying a red suitcase with I think wheels and a handle. -",
"-Might remember it wrong. I thought maybe she has a strict family and they make her go home on the weekends in the beginning and she just wants to live her life to the fullest, like in what she may feel her friends are doing. -",
"-While I‚m a solo act since the first grade despite passing friends and the interest of others(due to the story that comes after this whole thought/section), she needs friends and clearly gets supportive friends..I mean I could be reading into the whole thing...-",
"-but that was my impression...when her mother (or I think it was cuz it‚different from the pictures online) came to pick her up at the end of the school year, I kind of waved goodbye to her, and as they were driving, they paused for a moment, and I couldn‚t help but wonder if-",
"-her mother wasn‚t asking her about the boy that waved at her. My school wasn‚t going well and I couldn‚t dance. I was hoping she would find someone, but letting go of an interest for responsibility is a sacrifice that requires effort.-",
"-I mean you wait for a combination of characteristics and the universe delivers at the most inconvenient time. When I‚d go to Church around that time, out of my interest and resulting thoughts for the girl, I‚d pray she‚d find someone good for her.-",
"-Kind of feel like doing stuff like that as part of the aforementioned effort a sentence or two ago. If there was anything to be angry about, it was the psychotic after effect. She gets the guy and randomness follows for me.-",
"-In order to be away from familial and cultural obligations on a level beyond college, I need a career, and for that I need a good degree, all so that I can live and experience life to the fullest. I couldn‚t help but feel there were those who‚d read into my actions. -",
"-All that said, pull something like that while dating me, I‚m Not so well wishing or understanding, or forgiving that is if it happened to a couple dating. -",
"-My whole life of going to catholic schools and all boys high school, I aimed for the dream of making the prettiest woman my best friend in college and marrying her.-",
"-Then this present day 11+ year ‚situation‚ happened, messing up my academics, limiting my career options, keeping women as a whole away from me...I mean, such was my dream, as mentioned, as a kid and in my teenage years and 20s. -",
"-Now I‚m in my very early 30s and my dream about a woman seems to carry no value or effect. The dream just seemed like a waste of time (although no dream, especially marrying a best friend should be) cuz life itself went out of its way to go upside down for me. -",
"-I mean in hindsight, you wonder, did you have high morals, think too much, or are you in fact right that the rest of the world didn‚t think enough or think things through. I mean, in all humility, 11+ years ago, I was a pretty decent looking guy...-",
"-.if nothing else, I had the thickest of hair and it was long...at that time, I had so many female prospects but stayed focused on my dream...-",
"-here I am 11+ years later, bald, losing muscle and gaining weight from inflicted lifestyles by the orchestrators, tired, and having the world on one team or one side while I‚m on another.-",
"-It makes you think about morals, right and wrong, and a bunch of things like that, as ur left alone and bored out of ur mind, feeling like in a pretty jail cell‚bed, for all these years. -",
"-I think right & wrong, boils down 2 whats right ‚for an individual,‚ at a particular point in their life. In life, there are rules, religion, traditions, cultures...but ur job as a person is 2 live in each second, making both smart & wise decisions, as appropriate 4 ur life, -",
"-without caring about what others think. Don‚t model your life on anyone, but your goals and dreams.Going back to the main point, Time and opportunities were stolen from me, and here I am today, in a different world, with the dream squashed.",
"Regarding something mentioned in the previous section/thought/set of tweets, here's a tale from the past:-",
"-You wanna know how long my dream of marrying my best friend dates back? Here‚a story. Although born and brought up here, when I was in pre-k, I didn‚t speak that much English, because I spent time with my paternal grandmother mostly. -",
"-She would speak to me in our Indian dialect, and with my parents being Indian immigrants, she was of the belief, ‚why does their son need to learn English?‚ In pre-K, there was an Indian girl that I friended and spent all of my time with. -",
"-Our parents friended each other and carpooled and we went over each other‚houses and birthday parties. While she gathered together in a circle with her girl friends, I‚d hover around her.-",
"-In the same way, I expect potential girl friends and my wife to teach me how to dance, my kindergarten friend would teach me how to bike ride and roller blade. She was my courage. -",
"-When we were in kindergarten, if she was absent from school, I would run away from school. I managed, on one such occasion, to escape my kindergarten teacher‚notice, and ran for home, as the school was 5 min away from my old house near central ave in Yonkers.-",
"-My dad was walking home and caught sight of me, and I forget if he took me back to school or took me home with him. When I graduated from that school, the kindergarten teacher was sure to write about that in my year book. That was my relationship with this girl. -",
"-Then, as first grade approached, her father, a doctor, had a job transfer far away. She was going to leave me. It was something I had to accept about my first friend as first grade approached.-",
"-But at that time, I decided I would find a replacement to be my best friend, and marry her. That‚the origin of the dream the orchestrators squashed.",
"and now, normal tweets...-",
"Was listening 2\"All 10's\" playlist on Spotify the other day. Heard this girly song called Shower, by an artist w/a very girly name of \"BeckyG\"..Despite transitioning from Memories-Kid Cudi/David Guetta-I couldn't help but think ofMyself dancing w/a potential daughter 2that song.",
"Bad Blood music video from Taylor Swift...with all those Wonder Woman like women in the video, makes a guy wish he was taller to be with them...",
"I heard on the news that you should wash you hands with soap for 30 seconds after touching money, as cash and coins have been handled by who-knows-how-many-people-doing-whatever... I wonder if anyone else does it...kind of a pain, and more incentive to use the card...-",
"-especially if you get rewards for using it or get benefits...",
"How do eat your yogurt? When I eat my cup of Greek yogurt, with one lick off the spoon-without too much tongue exposure-I consume my yogurt. I mean, I eat it kind of like a chocolate soft cone from Carvel, not like cereal.",
"Yeah life is a journey...awaiting my destination, as I‚ve been traveling for 11+ years...",
"Why isn‚t there a Wegmans in Yonkers/Bronxville?! You can still shop there through InstaCart App...you get some exotic stuff like Japanese energizing cold green tea in a can...",
June 3rd tweets...wondering thoughts relationships past normal tweets...all right side up on tumblr blog link below:
https://t.co/absWu0Ti8Z
"June 4th tweets...onwards...",
"Can‚t emphasize this enough...I don‚t know the alleged group of kids, the girl, or any of the other orchestrators...that being said, if it‚not directly from me, probably not true. To state the obvious, how do you know as much as you do, about your best friend?-",
"-Through interacting with them directly. Who else would know things better than the two people involved? I think the stalkerish kids of the past or orchestrators figured out that I just wanted to study IN ‚college.‚ I mean there‚my stalked habits, my writings. -",
"-I think I‚m pretty clear. I think some wanted to pose a hindrance to studying. Don‚t quote me on this, but I think I was broadcasted as not liking noise. Why? To get the randomly hateful following to make noise. Always from afar, and never understood the reason for the spite.-",
"-Probably the reasoning behind getting me to hear sounds in the house. A group of kids empowered, perpetuated by established individuals of a school. Then the continual teaming up against me as a school, a city, a country...the massive game is a hate crime...",
"moving on...-",
"- for a while, you think all of this is one angry girl...but why? how is she mind controlling or getting people across places to do her bidding? I mean the no studying, tons of noise, wanting you to cry, all girls not talking to you, boy and girls making out in front of you...-",
"- this whole thing about friends...i mean if someone's my friend, cool, but if not, i'm not on any initiative to make the world my friend, as this program/\"situation\" puts out...because they attract attention, i gotta tell people things like the obvious amidst rumors...-",
"- and another thing...be it the girl, kids, the school, is it because i complained about you that you're having me write away my life for 11+ years? Satisfied? I mean all of this seems much. When the party school got involved, a man with the last name \"Berg\", said, so that I can-",
"- hear, \"oh we went the wrong direction. we were helping them?! but you can't talk to him about it cuz one of the school VP's forbade you from speaking to faculty at the school about your \"situation.\" This was a professor speaking. So was there a girl? Kids? Are the professors-",
"- going crazy and acting on your suspicions of kids? Was there a girl/kids? Are the professors actually talking to these kids, making the kid's situation worse, and realizing they have to legitimize their actions of inadvertently furthering the kids agenda of ruining me?-",
"- i mean WTF?! why are these people against me and screwing with the people of a person's world? I MEAN YOUR ENTIRE WORLD! Regarding the professors, I would sit in their faculty area and study. Never caused any problem. Why are they talking 2strange kids?! If the have the nerve-",
"- of saying so you can hear that they went the wrong direction, why can't they listen to your request of making things \"natural?\" or back to the way things were, before these kids?!",
"next thing...",
"-I wonder...would anyone be jealous or envious of my position in all this? If that‚the case, ur not being told the whole story. The orchestrators don‚t tell you what they do to me out of fearing the crowds. -",
"-I‚m pretty sure a filtered version of my writing-in favor of the orchestrators-is what‚being passed around. Back with my 2012 twitter and now, I never could understand why anyone would feel anything negative, as a reaction. Regarding money and opportunity in this, in 2012, -",
"-for the school and the upstate city of Albany teaming up on one side against me and then causing chaos on the day of final exams in 2012, I was going to sue them for my tuition money. -",
"-When being u, u think of the people in the apartment area or the surrounding city, u figure, despite instruction following, they don‚t know any better,and on some unknown premise, they think they‚re ‚helping‚ by never talking 2 u. So how can you be mad at an entire city then?-",
"-You then think, to confront this, you gotta hold the source accountable, for misleading all these links in the chain. Despite the world turning Upside down, my beef/squabble/whatever, is with the ones in charge for screwing me and putting this sin on everyone‚heads. -",
"-This too, I wrote in my hacked and possibly relayed police complaint. -",
"-I remember, coming back from the party school, I started submitting my tale through a series of character limited crime tips, kind of like my series of backward tweets. -",
"-As I‚d write in the crime tips in my old house, traffic on my street would increase with suspicious looking youth, as it coincided. Years later, I remember when I was at my allergist, I told a saint of an Irish woman of a nurse a tale about emails I sent a girl. -",
"-No offense to them, but I think they were talking to someone over what I told her. Not even she could tell me what was actually happening. Good people do this too. It overloads the brain, and everything you figure. becomes fair game.-",
"-That‚just it, it‚a game. You think it‚fun. America is all about fun, not compassion. Life in general is not like, say India,especially now. Here life continues, people wear masks, get vaccinated. There life came to a pause and people die left and right.-",
"-You as a people take part in this nonsense, cuz in one or more regards, ur life is perfect, otherwise why not see the whole thing as bull sh*t?-",
"-For the second chance at a college with a new major, I told my parents Id take a loan, & they volunteered a private apartment and delivery of food, so that I could study in peace. 50 grand & making everything natural was my goal or what I sought from the, then, orchestrators,-",
"-to overcome my wasted school tuition loan. Admission into a solid business school was what I requested. It never amazes me, that despite me explicitly saying what I‚m after and experiencing, you continue this illegal activity. -",
"-After 11 years, perhaps the orchestrators realize 50 grand and restoration to natural, was pretty reasonable. Now it will be much more, for placing someone else‚interests over a student‚mental, physical, and academic well being.-",
"-The money and opportunity I‚m seeking? From lawsuits and easy to win. Opportunities? I‚ll start domestic and international businesses. -",
"-Wait till they tell you everything. I think the word for someone, who just does, whatever another says, in slang, is ‚tool.‚ Are you a ‚tool?‚ Leader or follower? How are you living/showing that? I think some of you enjoy the power over another individual.-",
"-Some of you like having me in the wrong. It could be due to whatever bias. But for your overall happiness and satisfaction and mine, you got something to say to me, be direct.-",
"-Doing something from afar or concealing ur true misplaced negativity, elevates me, because in comparison, you have no b*lls. You know how Ive been living for 11+ years? Assuming the worst. -",
"-I feel, in this case:‚Pessimism is the road to take, in order to obtain the fruits of optimism, in one‚reality.I assume, I‚m relayed in any/all shape or form all day/everyday, that everyone‚in the know about just about-",
"-everything. I say ‚just about,‚ because I don‚t think the orchestrators tell you about my run in with the police, or what they had done to me during my time away from work. Compliance? You practice it for 11+ years. But, be sure I‚m grinding the axe.-",
"-No surprises, no disappointments in the end, due to the aforementioned pessimistic route.. Just actions to take. You know what the sounds do when I write sh*t like this... they play a ‚oh really I can take it sound...‚ we‚ll see. -",
"-You screwing with me like this, regarding the people of the world, it indicates you intend to conceal the truth. Like I keep saying, in me understanding this, one of us between the orchestrators and me, is guaranteed to be ruined.-",
"-If you, the orchestrator or follower, feel any thing negative toward me, why would you want to elevate me, in any regard? Interactions with me should be direct. I‚m all ears, and otherwise ready, with 11+ years and mankind‚betrayal fueling me. -",
"-I may not be as strong as before, but I go into things, having lost it all, nothing to gain, and With 100% of me. ith what I believed to be the FBI leaving me to rot, the local police not helping, my school not helping, the school‚VP and Conflict Resolution not helping, -",
"-and me not being consulted about this cr*p about people acting oddly, I used to carry a baseball bat in my car, if any of these instruction following idiots took things too far. My father, in denying anything‚going on, hid it, years ago.-",
"-You come at me with cr*p, it will be reciprocated, win, lose, big, small, whatever...a shove, a kick, end of day, is a shove and a kick...so long as I get a scratch in, I can rest peacefully. -",
"-Now if that bothers any of you, does it even make sense for you to be bothered when ur taking the initiative to bother someone, who wants you to take no extra effort, and leave things natural and possibly even a little MYOB: mind ur own business?-",
"-In hindsight, seeing these idiot skinny little freshman at this party school, thinking they‚re doing something for you and you should worship them for it, when they‚re actually turning things upside down for the orchestrators: It compounds: they‚re kids, old people, -",
"-they‚re idiots, they‚re stupid, don‚t know any better, being manipulated...then they follow the random instructions, some even mocking you like they have power over you...you wait till they go that extra mile against you and beat the cr*p out of them.. -",
"-But it never came 2 that. I mean u can only push a person so far..u talk, write, 11 years, illegal things happen, the law doesn‚t protect u, u find ur on ur own, &thinking, grow a pair &come at me. In the end who‚fault will it be? Mine? 4 being abused &lied to for 11 years?-",
"-In every endeavor, from having to walk barefoot when the police came, to what was done to me while away from work, February to May...I was compliant throughout everything...in the end pointless. No mistakes on my part.-",
"Moving on from irritation,-",
"-This whole thing, 11+ years and all? For a while, I kept thinking, all of this is the girl network of a girl I ‚knew of.‚ -",
"-What Im calling the ‚girl network‚ is a network of women friends spreading &sharing things thru cell phones &texts &maybe even word of mouth, (If shes not involved in anyway, its not fair 2her, 2give her spotlight,when all of thisNonsense should not have been publicly relayed.)-",
"-Then this ‚1day magic‚ or results!- never really did make sense. But the interesting thing is, it would seem the orchestrators talk 2a group that has their own intentions &doesn‚t know me. I feel like everyone is acting like this girl, in her indirect means, from long ago.-",
"-Was ‚not being direct with me‚ broadcasted as the ‚way to go with me? It‚like everything from one time period just continued for all ages. One group, whoever they are, brings in their cr*p, to ‚legitimize what I did not want, by making everyone else do it.‚ -",
"-I‚m all about being direct, and natural. And then, there‚the school. Trying to legitimize what transpired at their school, with the instilling of instructions beyond the city of their school, and into my hometown of Yonkers. -",
"-They brought this nonsense to the country of my background in India. WRT Indian women, while women as a whole do not talk to me at this moment in time because the orchestrators tell them, (and while I‚m open to all women and men )for friendships and whatever , -",
"-some Indian women passing by,seemed angry when I was talking 2my friend, Nicole, or playing cards withHer. Thru this indirect anger, am I supposed 2understand this? Do any of u realize, this is all against myWill &what I know is thru my own brain processing &remembering things?-",
"-The orchestrators, this program, \"this situation\" perpetuates nonsense of the past, by having me talk about things over and over, through screwing with the natural setting of my environment, where people are susceptible to following the orchestrator's instructions...-",
"-If theyre broadcasting me as dropDeadGorgeous, I accept what Im today &what Im not. Stick with(w/) the present, what u learn from a direct interaction w/me, being direct w/me, -",
"-being natural w/me (coming 2 think or act based on what u experience upon seeing me, &/or from whats directly from me.)",
"On a separate note/section-food for thought: -",
"The orchestrators, or these kids, or possibly a girl from long ago-I dunno...I don‚t understand this hold you have over all these people. How do you get someone to do something because you want them to?-",
"-I may be in the mind cr*p, buts it‚the people of my world who do something because someone wants them to. When I give insight upon doing something that‚right for you, right for your life, without caring about what others-",
"-think, or about cultures and traditions, you won‚t adhere to it or take it seriously. You probably pass over it as ‚nice sounding.‚Someone says to make a face or something, you do it. I mean it‚like asking someone to bend over and you doing it. -",
"-Why? But clearly all of you, are you, and I‚m singled out as me.",
"and now, normal tweets: -",
"I feel law enforcement should place compassion over the their indulgence of authority over others...",
"Lamb gyros with tzatziki sauce from local Greek restaurant or a Greek rack of lamb...epic...",
"Sodastream is a great way to make your own soda. It‚healthy and tasty and sugar free. You just add these strawberry like ,blackberry like, watermelon like , pineapple like, etc. flavors...a good water substitute...",
"i saw a girl propose to a guy on facebook...i cannot imagine a girl even asking a guy out, let alone, proposing...such is real life vs. the TEXT...",
"-Being an American should be a privileged label requiring compassion and the Golden Rule. You‚re not just anyone, you are an American. Rise to the occasion, rather than indulging and being plugged into the Matrix of your world. Expand ur mind, gain insight. -",
"-These people involved in this should be ashamed to call themselves Americans. Would you allow this on ur kid or loved on?",
"Wipex Fitness Equipment Wipes - easy way to wipe down sweat from exercise machines in your home, that you finished using...",
"Heard of calm app, headspace app? try yoga international dot com or art of living courses...",
"The party school hacking my police complaint & telling students involved &students theyre talking to,that theyre in the complaint, increases the random vendetta of these kids, & gives them an incentive to mess up &control ur world..serious mishandling bySchool acting asPolice...",
"- now the professors, kids, or whoever the orchestrators are, are trying to save their a*ses from the content of the complaints, by legitimizing their past actions, through having the world take part, and making things about making a point with hacking people, computers, etc.",
Link to all tumblr blog posts:
https://t.co/SC6YkTDyr5
Early morning tweets from June 4th before 6:30 AM - all right side up on tumblr blog link below:
https://t.co/6kDiXgqllQ
"so despite me saying to \"act natural\" hundreds of times over these 11+years and recently, people prefer to take the effort, and waste the energy, to do what the orchestrators say, and act in a manner that suits the \"project/program/situation.\"-",
"-acting natural requires nothing from U. Just be U; don't hide that this \"situation\" for 11+ years occurred; and go by what comes to mind when U see me, or by a direct conversation/interaction. Simple. You can stop wasting your time on this pointless endeavor to pervert my life.-",
"-if that's too hard, go F*k urself. 11+ years of saying it? - I think is enough.",
"moving on...normal tweets...-",
"Bronxville Pondfield Road has several stores on both sides of the street. From outside, nice looking buildings, and you suspect the insides are about quality stuff. But the parking situation is ridiculous. To shop and spend money, U have to spend money on parking at the meters-",
"- &theres only like 20 meter parking spaces 4all these stores. Shouldn't the landlords or whoever contemplate the business that these stores are losing from lack of parking? -",
"-U drive all the way there, find out no parking...what do U do? Drive in circles until some1 vacates their meter parking space? What a waste of time...someone should do something for such a busy area...",
Try drinks from Rebbl...they can be coffee substitutes...you can get them at ShopRite but Wegmans has more variety in that brand...They're pretty expensive but I hope if more people buy them or see their value eventually the price will go down...
https://t.co/p6P78klaiQ
"I miss the days when Starbucks had an online store. Could have fresh coffee beans delivered to your residence...now you gotta go all the way to the store...-wait...did i tweet that already? if so, sorry for the repeat...",
"If you have an Alexa device, search the ‚Echo Wall Clock‚ on Amazon. It sets itself, especially when daylight savings time.",
"Have a ‚Hey Google‚ device? Try the ‚Philips Hue‚ smart bulb and multicolor smart bulb. The multicolor one provides different colors to the room on a ‚Hey Google‚ command. Search Amazon...",
"Im not sure if the orchestrators areTrying 2get me 2buy stuff or not, buts its like, from boxers to undershirts to socks to fleeces to shirts-theyve all goneMissing. I mean I know I had a ton of theseThings, when they all randomlyDisappear from ur laundry, U justThink, now what?!",
"so heard about the Blum Center and gave advice on healthier living...while their products are expensive, you learn about the benefits of all sort of stuff, even simple things like chia seeds and fiber and how they can keep you full and aid with morning bathroom rituals...-",
- from talk in previous tweet this is the Blum Center's link:
https://t.co/rRGIdABUjo
John Douillard and his LifeSpa in Colorado (offering Skype meetings) can also aid with better lifestyles and healthier living. It's rooted in Ayurveda and Yoga and Meditation. Check out their site:
https://t.co/JcihC62Llk
"Nothing like 90s music on Spotify...with the exception of their 2010s playlist for hits, Spotify is an indicator to me that music has gone downhill...",
"There‚something very attractive to me about a bottle of coke vs. the can... it‚just...aesthetically pleasing and tasty...",
"so there's like 10-20 normal tweets below. twitter has the most recent tweet on top. scroll down for the starting tweet with today's date...My twitter handle is @RennyJi or you can not follow me on twitter and still read with the web link:twitter dot com slash rennyji",
"in addition to the morning normal tweets, a thought-",
"So from my old complaints to the police elaborating on the science of a situation, it turns out I left out something that became transparent to me recently: This concept of filters people see through or the figurative lenses on the glasses they wear. -",
"- but I remember things and something interesting was said on the news today. To start with the latter: \"If the grass was green before you went to bed, [and you found it covered in a white blanket of snow], one could surmise that it snowed while you were asleep.\"-",
"- that cause & effect relationship was what gave the insights 2 my situation ages ago. I gave a lot of detail. Despite all that I identified, b/c not 1 person showed me the content or told me who's doing it, I couldn't prove my situation and end a decade plus worth of an ordeal.-",
"- while I go 2 new places 4 a new beginning, or explore my talents on a social TEXT platform, there's someone or someones coming with their own agenda, distorting the natural end result and occurrences that result from my actions or the domino I pushed, for an intended pattern.-",
"- I remember when I first started twitter in 2011-2012, I didn't have much followers. Then one day someone tried to direct 20 fake followers my way. Probably incentive to get me to write. -",
"-when I went to the FBI in that timeframe, one of their agents asked me if I was crazy for the Internet crime that I presented to him. Before he came down, I could see his confusion in seeing me over something he knew about and I didn't.-",
"- they directed me to,what was at the time,an unlimited Internet complaint form: IC3 forms. Again seems like incentive 2 write. I go 2 work, trying 2 mix quantity w/quality, jumping from 1 completed thing 2 the next. They have me waste time explaining myself w/words & writing.-",
"- I realize every facet of life in America wants to screw me into exposing my speech style, my writing style, for the purpose of understanding how I think. -",
"-Whereas David Hasslehoff (the Knight Rider) might have Adam Sandler fart on his face in the movie, \"Click,\" for, if nothing, money, that's not my style. -",
"-This phenomena has caused estranged relationships, a roadblock 2 living, a roadblock 2 prospering w/a career, earning what I should make...u have no idea how much hatred I have 4 this setting. But the mind controllers, sedate me & do their own form of sedation 2 make me docile.-",
"- what do the Americans mean by \"consciousness of guilt?\" Does it mean awareness of what they were doing? Does it mean awareness that you're doing something bad or of a crime nature? what about, then, the orchestrators of my situation? -",
"- Like others, I got out of school in my early to mid 20's to set forth on my life. To find someone to marry, to get a job, take care of my parents...-",
"-But instead, and I'm 35 now, I'm being just being used for cheap entertainment with everyone's help. You destroyed my life...where is the consciousness of guilt? To take out the years from your jail sentences, you prolong my situation, that too, with everyone's support.-",
"- you as a people think everything is your body. Indians and East Asians believe the soul transmigrates across bodies and lifetimes. You, Americans, think this all there is, and that the soul is the mind, and it stems from a developed mature mind. -",
"- the U come up w/ notions like \"consciousness of guilt.\" I'm not sure what to make of that. Are you saying that across a series of actions, you were aware what you were doing, or aware of what you're doing towards a particular goal? Aren't you always aware? Shouldn't you be?-",
"- my situation is in the process of being exploited to show one form of \"normal\" for every1 to accept to further large scale mind reading/mind control. -",
"-Ur led to believe by doctors & the orchestrators of this phenomena that letting urself go on \"autopilot\" is normal, whether it's driving or anything. Mindfulness is not a luxury, but a skill to employ on all occasions.-",
"- animals like dogs go on autopilot or w/their instincts. A dog is hungry, it eats. A human being, thru things like religion, learn 2 abstain, to refrain, to practice restraint. Of all the people in the world, Im condemned for not acting on random garbage thinking or impulse. -",
"- 'Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. ' Matthew 26:41Temptations are the various hungers of our body, like trying to get me to lash out on twitter.",
"- \"For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.\"Galations 5:17-",
"- this division creates a conscious state of mind. The happiness oriented Americans, forsaking culture and religion, for psychiatry, create and propel an animal like human.",
"-Years ago, I think there was something about me being a sweetheart and in need of friends( by a girl and her friends, a school, who cares, at this point)...ok...ummm..reality being, i see the concept of friends and relationships just like the next person: through fate, destiny,-",
"-or something as simple as bumping into someone repeatedly at a coffeeshop, you meet people.(Not by ‚the situation‚ discussing your whereabouts and timing.) To see me, through the lens that I‚m on some kind of endeavor to be an American icon, make everyone my -",
"-friend- well, that doesn‚t match my goals, interests or personalities. In all that I do being relayed (probably, I dunno), maybe from my Twitter, you heard from me about how I kept a girl in my prayers; -",
"-maybe you heard since my childhood best friend/girl friend moved away, I‚ve been on a lifelong quest for a replacement; maybe from the orchestrators you heard I can be loving to my sibling...-",
"-from the orchestrators, you see me as a, I guess, f* me, a sensitive caring male. From my stories, maybe you know my values. -",
"-But bear in mind, these are aspects or sides to a multifaceted personality, just like everyone else. Who I share the above sides or personas with, are my loved ones (family/friends). -",
"-So this raises the problem of who is my audience, when I or someone on my behalf, says things. I keep saying talk to me directly, because how I may be with you individually, may be different from a painting of my identity, for better or worse.-",
"-So two things thus far...what lens/ filter are you seeing me through? Next question, are you the intended audience?And all of this boils down to reputation. The concept of a person‚status in society, their reputation globally is something people work very hard for. -",
"-It is my intention to sue the orchestrators for soiling my reputation. Understanding this, they are of the belief, by relaying my life, a reputation will follow. But then the concept of audiences, filters, all rise again. -",
"-You*re making my reputation as America‚son/friend. Not interested, beyond the Golden Rule. 11 years of my life...hmmm...yeah I feel like the orchestrators are prostituting my life. -",
"-Im in a crazy situation. A 90 year old b*tch & her possibly lesbian passenger give me the OK to take a parking space. I go out to take it. She then stops me w/her car randomly, while the tool of a couple behind me shake their hands 4 me, to ignore the parking, and drive ahead.-",
"-I had my signal on, I was moving toward the space before all this happened ...you know, be it because of a ‚situation‚ or the filter this white woman sees ‚herself ‚through, she is not my boss, and her attitude on the road would only succumb to my attitude. -",
"-What does she think of herself? That disgusting nasty face she made. Does she see herself as superior? The nerve. All after she tells me to take the space, and then decides to take it herself. -",
"-The orchestrators tell family, friends, strangers to give me something to read into...it‚mind exploding because you expect me to take the bait and keep writing...I‚ve praised women in my speech and in my writing, over their beauty and value in a mans life. -",
"-Like today, at a stop sign, driving home or taking a short cut elsewhere, saw a gorgeous tan blonde smiling. Seeing someone like her, for herself, can brighten any mans day, like a day of sunlight. But it should naturally happen. -",
"-But that said, I‚ve shown a value, a side. For some, it‚an opportunity to overestimate ur self worth. I am not desperate, despite throwing myself across the table. -",
"-In this world, without sacrificing my dignity, from one extreme to another, I can arrange a marriage, or if it was about getting laid, pay someone. I aim to do things the right way. But then I see the 90 year old and idiot middle aged American women on the side of them -",
"-road involving themselves in this aforementioned parking attempt. Your rosy lives are ur rosy lives. I live in reality unlike whatever cloud You live on, while being a victim of abuse by the American orchestrators. So, Keep a check on ur attitudes in response in reading this.-",
"-Years ago, and now, I‚ll say it again to my surroundings, I am a practitioner of the Golden Rule. I respect those who respect me. Some of you, in your world of games, please go waste someone else‚time. An American icon? A paragraph ago, -",
"- I explained how I see friends, because of randomness being flung on me like sh*t out of a toilet, for the purpose of constantly explaining things. -",
"-I make myself available, when and where, to anyone who‚anyone. The orchestrators want to dictate who can glance at me or make me approachable. Childish nonsense. Not out to make myself any more approachable than I am.",
"- Now I need some kind hearted person to talk to me and tell me what's going on. That Im not out of my mind. If ur waiting for this cr*p to be over, none of you will ever see me. I mean, I'm after peace of mind, and when I needed you, in the way that I did, you were never there.-",
"-The orchestrators may tell you to so called \"support me\" by doing this/that...but that is not from me, may not even match the plan of the day. I honestly cannot make out what they're saying. -",
"- If I'm right about stuff, its through coincidence or me figuring things out on my own. From any of you, the community, All I'm asking is for you to be a true American at heart and do the hard thing of telling me what's going on. -",
"-Thats the only thing I ever needed. Ud be a lifelong friend&hero. After this, w/my lawsuitMoney, Ill be on some privateEstate, far away, from these past ridiculous places of America. All I wanted 4 all these yrs is peace of mind & the mutualRespect that the orchestrators took.-",
"-But going back to what I was saying, at the end of the day, beyond family and loved ones, I am not your friend or your enemy, or even paying attention to the cr*p left for me to read into. That stuff is between you and the orchestrators you blindly and ridiculously follow.-",
"-f you are not talking to me directly, then you are not helping me. Playing with your phone won‚t make you a saint-for the orchestrators, in the past, I called this the American idol mentality. You think by voting for someone to win, you‚re altruistic.-",
"-Save your energy, direct it towards someone who will appreciate it, or do something constructive. I‚ve given my spheel about ‚being natural without hiding anything.‚ That‚the only help I seek. End of the day, you be you, I‚ll be me. -",
"-At the beginning of this &now, Ive made it clear, not out of anger, spite, or because Im fresh out of some troubling incident: mind your own business. I don‚t want you in my life, and to be honest, I don‚t want to be in your heads either beyond the practice of the Golden Rule.-",
"-Get at me (Slang), or kindly get lost (Literal).-",
"-These sounds tell me they‚re going to ‚do away‚ with me. The extent, depth, seriousness of that I dunno. (But if I‚m to meet my end, I want the Americans to know this much from me, amidst the clouds you live on. -",
"-At the end of this, you all and the kid sounding faction of the orchestrators are in for a surprise. Really walked into it, as you'll figure out, soon enough.)-",
"-Ur faces or reactions or gestures do not match up to my writings, what I‚m being told, etc.(this part goes to everyone, but especially my parents- I feel these people (orchestrators) are lying to you regarding their intentions and what they direct at me.)",
"-From past complaints being relevant in the present day or not, not gonna elaborate on past things after this. Way too much time for something I‚m not willingly taking part in or interested in. Take care.",
"ending it for today with a few normal tweets -",
"Coffee machines with adjustable strength settings...expensive, but worth it!",
"getting a starbucks card, or memberships with doordash or massage places can be rewarding...",
"a person can say/do 10,000 good things, and being human, do 1 bad thing...but through human nature, other people will only remember/consider the bad thing without thinking things through...",
June 5th tweets...summary of normal tweets from early morning and the \other stuff tweets\ from early evening...all right side up on tumblr blog link below...as of tomorrow just gonna spread tweets throughout the day-if any...
https://t.co/2yg58nFl2X
"June 6 tweets -",
"so wake up, walk to the main floor of the house, and see through the window that the sun is getting ready to shine, with birds chirping in the background...sounds like something from a book, i know...but it invites pleasantness amidst all the nonsense in one's life...",
"so theOrchestrators...what they now do, seeing I have a writing platform, is \"project\" ideas/notions my way, 1 way or the other, try 2 get me 2 mention it, or even address/explain it. In my writing about, say, 1 of the rumors they created, Id be helping 2 perpetuate false ideas.-",
"-i mean w/something as corny &simple as the sun about 2shine, who wants 2waste time on the bullsh*t of others? Who pays attention to idiots? I mean, whatever orchestrators put out, I know who I am, what I get & don't get, & we don't share the same goals or same kind of people.-",
"-Today, I have 2 degrees& aJob 2 focus on, and be grateful 4. Yrs ago, I had my own apartment&delivery of restaurant food 2 be happy about while I tried to study amidst nonsense. Yrs ago, I had 4 years of body building to be grateful for,&the local YMCA where Id swim vigorously.-",
"- amidst The Blessings of the Good Lord, there's this nonsense from Americans living in a cloud and wanting to eavesdrop into the life of an Indian. but moving on...this kind of stuff is a risk to the tranquility from the simplicity of the sun shining...",
"so i mentioned \"my own apartment\" a couple or a few tweets ago...upstate vs. downstate -the apartments are madCheap...Ive been searching for apartments locally, downstate, & places like, The Print House? $2000 rent. Every other place? $1600 &up. My upstate studio apartment?$750.-",
"- I mean taxes take like 50% of your yearly salary. Then downstate rent...That's another huge chunk...",
"Regarding taxes, if you go to Catholic or private schools, and taxes pay for public schools and other such facilities that you don't use, why does everyone have to pay the same percentage of taxes? -",
"-You live in America for the freedom and community. But seeing as I, personally don't get that, there's gotta be other places, globally, that have that...",
"So, was eating breakfast and got food stuck between my teeth...reminded me of braces and the retainers you gotta wear after to maintain the progress of the braces...in hindsight, with today's discipline, i wouldn't have been as lazy with the retainers, as back then...",
"So, on the HBO Max app on Fire TV or Chromecast, you can find the second version of the \"Justice League\" movie. Yeah, there are two!I mean the trouble for making two versions of the same movie...why?!Well, at least Gal Gadot is in it...truly a Wonder Woman...",
"So just followed Gal Gadot, and twitter suggested I follow Margot Robbie...people from Israel, Australia...they are incentive for global connections...",
"anyone else grow up with 90s Nickelodeon with Stick Stickley with Nick in the Afternoon, Doug, Rugrats, Rockos Modern Life, etc...?!",
"huge Dragon Ball Z fan. Got me into the Dragon Ball series, which I personally feel a warm attachment to then the Z Series...they're coming out with a new movie next year...even collect the figures...like a few yrs ago, really got into anime. CrunchyRoll is a good site for it...",
"RT @StarbucksCare: @RennyJi Hi Renny, while we no longer have an online store, we do have a storefront on Amazon that you can use to try an
"So where do our ideas and thoughts come from? Ever wonder?",
"For so long I thought of all this having to do with a girl and possibly player psychotic friends...I mean the whole thing is like the stereotype of an angry girl-in what I‚ve shared and not... l mean keeping you perpetually writing and making everyone not talking to you?-",
"- when we were at the same school, because of the visible no cause anger towards someone you don‚t know, I even gave her a letter apologizing if I wronged her in anyway and saying I‚ll keep out of her way. When things escalated at the party school, if it had to do with her, with-",
"- whatever filter in her mind towards me, I even sent her a brand new copy of the dvd, ‚he‚just not that into you‚ with no return address. If ur right about all this being her, you think that‚ll be hint, she‚ll know what it means, and stop whatever.-",
"- If not she got a brand new DVD for free. I mean that‚my style: I don‚t uproot the world. Then as time goes on, I figure it has to be the school, manipulating the story of the girl for their project. I mean what does a Columbia grad like her want with me anyway?!-",
"- and regarding the school, I reported everything that was happening, like a responsible person. Once again, my style. They uproot the world, lie to me, and them and their government contacts stop the world from talking to me...",
"So I talk about blondes or talkED about blondes recently. Not the only kind of women I‚m into. But moving on, did you guys know there are types of blondes?...like the ‚Nordic Blonde?!‚- I‚ve seen some with a fan and they look incredible...-",
"Me, I have wavy hair...or HAD wavy hair...saw someone with nice pin straight hair-probably doesn‚t take hair gel or leave in conditioner to style...wouldn‚t it be cool if you could change ur hair type from straight to wavy to curly by as simply as running a comb through ur hair?!",
"This one place that I go daily...it‚ridiculous how everyone there is jacked or ripped...I mean like 90%...It‚an odd-what do you call such an occurrence-coincidence?! Me personally, focusing on getting skinny first...",
"Has anyone tried aromatherapy?! Does it work?",
RT @shakirastuff_: Shakira is coming. You all ready?
https://t.co/pvq5lurJrl
"Just saw commercials for upcoming Marvel series, ‚Loki‚. It‚going to be on Disney+. I‚m not sure if the following is a movie or series, but ‚Black Widow‚ with Scarlett Johansson is also coming out...",
RT @missmorenab: Flashback to that time I wore all purple.
https://t.co/pq4nrakjpw
"In the movie, ‚Deadpool,‚ Ryan Reynold‚character is so right about his feelings toward @missmorenab (Morena Baccarin). Every time you see her, it‚like the first time. There isn‚t a second she isn‚t beautiful...",
June 6th early morning and morning tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below:
https://t.co/5fZPSYyvq2
"11 years of all this relaying and stalking. People ignore my directive, of talking to me directly, to get to know me, despite me saying how I am with people is on an individual basis.-",
"-Depending on how I, as a multifaceted personality, choose to share, Person A might recognize me as a completely different individual than Person B. So yesterday, we talked about filters, or the lenses that u see an individual through, is based on the stuff you have in ur head.-",
"- so lets introduce something I else I mentioned in the past. The concept of ‚know of‚ vs. ‚actually know.‚ All of u may have heard relayed things about a particular Renny. You think ur part of a fun game with this Renny. (Not a fan of games and view this entire thing as abuse.)-",
"-But in the things you are aware of, do you understand my goals or intentions? You think you know how I‚ll be with you and when you ignore my advice. You do not know me and simply ‚know of me.‚-",
"In the past, I was grateful for a 2nd chance at a new major at a new school with a fresh start. I wanted no distractions. As I didn‚t want the mind lingering on anything from the past, I wanted 2 remove any chance I had with a particular girl.-",
"-I wanted 2 close that door by writing something off putting so that the mind would abandon theOption. OtherGoal was 2 test the surroundings 4 a reaction 2 see if Im right about theSource of the randomness. In trying to cut off an attachment, Im left w/the idea of it for years.-",
"- intention with my battle with the party school? Get a free ride there, get life back to the way it was-in all opportunities (social l, fiscal, etc.) , in all normalcy- before things with the girl, her friends, the school, and this present day hill sh*t. -",
"- I live according to that, but the orchestrators are trying to make me an Indian, an American instead, by ignoring my people/culture/goals, and use me for their goals, while making me seem crazy for trying to get things back to the way they were, 11+ years ago.-",
"- sometimes I wonder‚ you idiots out there reading into my actions‚what do you know of the kind of life I want to live or the kinds of people I want to associate with. I buy something like a coffee machine, I think you put me out as buying something expensive. Slander.-",
"- I spice up my morning in the ways that I do, likeMachines w/adjustable strength, valueQuality‚unlike the orchestrators &the rest of their people, I don‚t live on an ‚airy cloud.‚ I actually think through things &have plans for aFuture that don‚t match this retarded situation.-",
"-11 years of eavesdropping, what do the orchestrators know of a life of meaning &value. U see me thru the filter of ur culture,ur boy friends,ur men,ur students,&what not. To the orchestrators, experiment on ur kind, rather than leaving the worst for other parts of the world.-",
"- you may see everything, may even know every thought, but you don‚t know where I stand or my intent with things.",
"Just found out season 3 of the HBO Max series, ‚Titans,‚ is set to be released in August of 2021‚finally‚and that too in the summer‚it‚sad there aren‚t a lot of new episodes to series outside of fall/winter/spring months‚Titans has Nightwing, Raven, and the rest
"Other shows like ‚Doom Patrol‚ or the anime: ‚Seven Deadly Sins‚‚no idea for a release date like the previous tweet
"‚His Dark Materials‚ was a great series on HBO Max, as well
"It can be problematic when ‚direct interactions‚ face conflict with things relayed‚I mean, What was the purpose, and a number of tweets back, recall what I said about the different recognitions by Person A Vs. Person B.",
June 6th Afternoon Tweets rightSideUp in tumblrBlogLink below. NothingMoreToday. There were tweets in early morning &morning - posted in the tumblr blog link several tweets down this page (that link is also at the bottom of the afternoon link below)
https://t.co/PMVxdtYiep
"June 7th tweets -",
"so a thought...-",
"I saw a clip of a physicist talking about something, and he mentioned other scientists of the past who came up with theories. Someone like Isaac Newton didn't have the distractions of our world. He had a lot of time to think and theorize about his observations.-",
"- When I look back at these 11+ years, its enraging. What a massive waste of time. I could be using my thought process, my observative capacity, for constructive things, rather than talking to/about this \"situation.\" -",
"-For the orchestrators, life is living on a cloud, doing whatever impulse commands you, getting drunk and laid all day. I mean if getting laid is your life's greatest goal, there are bigger and better things. -",
"-Getting laid is exhilaration, pleasure, a series of postures, for a set amount of time. But an accomplishment, a life achievement, a true goal, encompasses your entire day and rewards you lifelong, unlike the 60-90 minutes or so of getting laid...-",
"-Set your sights on bigger things, on something that can define you and fulfill you. That's true pleasure.-",
"- You know in these 11+ years, I wish I could have used my brain to think about real things, philosophize, build something -",
"- but instead the orchestrators, in my very early 30s, have me dealing with the matters of children...-",
"- The serious project that may or may not be public, that is hiding behind the nonsense of whatever is projecting the teenage-like voices...is also wasting my time with their goals, over mine...-",
"-Life is a gift. From crawling out of bed, to possibly stretching, to walking down the stairs to your kitchen, it truly is an underestimated gift. I mean you have arms and legs. You can move them. It provides a sensation. -",
"-Being forced to look over all that and be reminded of the failings of a country, in practice in your life, is ridiculous.-",
"- This \"situation\", with what it does to me daily and my environment, for me, is a waste of time, and a distraction from my plans/goals. Biblically, it is said, if ur eye causes you to sin, then cut it off. It is better for you to go to heaven maimed, then all of going to h*ll.-",
"- so lets extrapolate. I think people of today are put off by religion b/c they \" 'think' its about telling u what 2 do.\" But I believe it's telling u \"what u can be\" -",
"-& the lifestyle that needs 2 be maintained. When I say lifestyle, I don't mean living like a nun, like literal interpretations imply. Again, you need to think about what comes your way. Literally, the aforementioned saying also has a meaning. That being, -",
"- your eye causing you to sin and the rest of the saying? Be pure in thought, follow your heart, do what's right as appropriate for your life. This results in peace of mind and eligibility for heaven. But I was talking about goals, that saying can be applied to goals.-",
"-ur eye causes you to sin, cut it off? Yeah no 1 expects the human race 2 cut off their eyes. So when it comes 2 goals, if there is a distraction in your life, u need 2 cut off that attachment. That part about \"better part of u go 2 heaven, then all of u going to h*ll\"?! -",
"- If you cut off the attachment/the distraction, your eye is figuratively cut off. What remains will inherit heaven. -",
"-Heaven can be interpreted as a state of mind. When you feel good, you feel like you're in heaven. When you do something bad, your mind is like in h*ll b/c of the resulting negative feelings.-",
"- So point being, if you cut off your attachment/distraction, what remains, inherits heaven i.e. or you'll have the state of mind (of being focused, and whatever else), to achieve your goal. -",
"- When you practice such discipline, it's rewarding throughout and \"post-process-of-achieving-your-goal\" - because you will, without a doubt, achieve your goal. Hence, if your eye causes you to sin, cut it off...",
"- See, the aforementioned is my mind. Not like the orchestrator's and the cr*p they put out. Not like the people they involve me with. Not like the Americans, who, everyday, let me down, by not telling me what's going on.-",
"-In my religion, Christ says, \"my mother, brother, sister, friend, family, are those who share in my convictions\" - to paraphrase...Amidst \"this situation,\" in whatever way I possibly can, I try to say what I'm about, what I want, what my beliefs are. -",
"-But no 1 in my surroundings shares in my convictions. After 11+ years, the label of American I wore proudly, is now a source of humiliation. Citizenship/rights-none of it respected. No lawEnforcement. In Christ's words, U are not my family, nor my people. U be U, I'll be me...",
June 7th early morning tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below - philosophy...
https://t.co/nyEjkFGjmy
"You know, growing up, I learned from experience & family, avoid jobs that depend on people. Too many variables. If ur an engineer or programmer, while you may work with a team, your part of the work is all U, giving you the freedom and using solely ur talents, knowledge, ability-",
"- but thats inTermsOfWork..4 a socialLife, yeah friends are wonderful but Im involved in ‚theSituation‚ involvingPeople. My wholeLife is relayed. IveSaid I can do 10,000 goodThings,& people, being humanNature, only rememberTheBad. ‚The situation‚ is a ‚forced on myShoulder job‚.-",
"-when my so called all day everyday job involves people, not the best thing, because of how my environment can be affected. How do you be mindful of all ur actions all day everyday‚-",
"-I mean you want people, in what ur stuck with, to be direct with you, to know you for you, not based on something put out indirectly about you
"In this situation, people think theyre supporting u, with u, even helping u‚but I keep saying what help to me is‚it‚being natural without hiding this- I think we‚re getting there, but what if some1 were to tell me whats going on & help me end this‚ud be a role model, a hero!",
"I was out today and someone was nice enough to help me speed up that part of my day‚ I keep saying talk to me and stuff, and d*mit I forgot to get this person‚name‚but I guess that‚on me
"So I‚ve grown up watching my dad use alcohol based aftershaves that are liquidy like Old Spice. But growing up, I e heard slit said that alcohol is bad for the skin. So I got the Brickell aftershave from Amazon.-",
"-Smear a bunch of it on, expect it to work, and then realize, not the best idea in sunny June weather. You‚ll just sweat it off. Maybe liquid quick drying aftershaves are what‚needed. Lotions just melt
"When someone does something nice, how do you react‚especially in this situation where people seemed to be misled or misguided in ur name, you figure it‚easier walking in a hostile environment‚but selfless kindness changes the world
"Want to hang upside down for yoga or ‚just because‚?! Get the ‚FeetUp Trainer‚ from Amazon
"Girls are lucky. They can wear shorts & look good in shorts. To look in style, a guy who wears shorts has 2 have em a little bit below his knees‚I think like in the 50s, 60s, 70s, guys used to wear the shorts women wear today-yeah umm no 1 wants to see that..a reverse of style..",
"Huge Michael Jackson fan- it‚sad someone like him had the things that happened to him, happen
"Yeah I listen to anything that sounds good on Spotify-from ‚sucker‚ by the Jonas Brothers to ‚drag me down‚ by One Direction to ‚bad blood‚ by Taylor swift to ‚wherever whenever‚ by shakira to ‚ if you had my love‚ by JLo to ‚Memories‚ by David Guetta to ‚lose yourself‚ by Eminem",
"This heat‚in Yonkers(Y-Oooo!) /Bronxville‚simply sitting while working makes you sweat‚but at least where I reside (on the border of both cities), it just got cloudy‚hopefully things will cool down
"In the heat a while back, I remember buying these Nike‚- running shoes- they are ventilated at the top‚shoes like that probably helps, if you gotta be outside
"Post lunch, my soda stream (raspberry flavor) really cooled me down
Afternoon tweets for June 7th right side up in tumblr blog link below (early morning tweets below afternoon tweets or in link that is several tweets below)
https://t.co/gIudOYfuCd
"June 8th tweets...-",
"so this thing with external parties who don't know a person, putting things in people's heads, goes way back...it leads to improper awareness, or a false filter/glasses that people see through...-",
"So here's five verses that I believe the three Abrahamic religions share. Genesis 3 goes: -",
"- 1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, ‚Did God really say, ‚ÄòYou must not eat from any tree in the garden‚?‚ -",
"-2 The woman said to the serpent, ‚We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‚ÄòYou must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.‚‚-",
"-4 ‚You will not certainly die,‚ the serpent said to the woman. 5 ‚For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.‚-",
"-6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.-",
"- so...those were the first 6 verses actually. The devil \"puts something in Eve's head.\" Sound familiar? She gains a filter that she sees through, but she doesn't realize, she's been blinded from the truth...-",
"-Eve believes if she eats the fruit that God forbade her from eating, she will be a god or at least have god like wisdom...-",
"-God told her not to eat the fruit: that part is like what our hearts tell us to do, while we listen with our tempted minds for tantalizing/nice sounding false things to be placed in our head...to live life with your heart requires taking a deep breath and gaining perspective-",
"- it speaks to us in differentSituations. when orchestrators or the devil come along&place things in our head, giving us false filters 2 see thru, resulting in the actions of accordance, we need 2 quiet down, listen 2 what our heart-which fights the impulse of human nature-says.-",
"- the orchestrators give you instructions to follow behind a single person. Like the juicy fruit of the forbidden tree, you see the orchestrators words and directives as a fun game. -",
"-But if you, humankind, were to listen to your hearts...how can you bear to have a fellow American suffer alone for 11+years?-",
"- would ur hearts allow humankind 2 be on 1 team vs. a single human being for 11+ years? U wanted 2 play the orchestrator's game like Eve wanting the juicy fruit. God didn't approve in that case, & ur hearts & true conscience doesn't approve in our case..Americans need insight...",
"Moving past philosophy, -",
"Driving with the AC on creates mist on the wind shield, towards the bottom‚needed wipers to clear it‚anyone else face that problem?",
"It‚great when your 10 min away from stores like Macys, ur coffee shop, UPS, or anything else‚I mean‚feel sleepy while working? All ways to get fresh air
"The parking spaces in Bronxville‚Pondfield Road are diagonally lined‚real pain when going from the right side of the road to the parking space on the left
"So 10:20 AM, I left my house 2go 2 UPS 2 drop something off on Central in Yonkers (Y-Oooo). Made the trip &got back in my driveway @ 10:27. Got inside &out of myShoes at 10:28. Got out of outdoor clothes &back @ my desk by 10:30..like going 2the bathroom when U live near central.",
"The concept of time has always amazed me. So much can happen through the course of 30 min‚like this morning, at the start of 30 min, was getting out of the shower. At the end of 30 min, finished getting my coffee at a coffee shop and back home
"So @theragun or @therabody -whichever is the official Twitter account for Therabody / Theragun - came out with a pneumatic compression device. Only comes in small, medium, large‚if ur chubby, ull think large, but it‚too long. Then you think medium, but it‚tight. -",
"- To @theragun or @therabody (Therabody / Theragun), you need a pneumatic compression device that‚of varying lengths for different heights, and adjustable straps for varying leg widths- to adjust how they fit ‚around the legs‚
"RT @dunkindonuts: That absolutely ‚ú®thrilling‚ú® half-second you think about ordering something different, then don‚t.",
June 8th tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below:
https://t.co/FaCfjnfbYI
"June 9th tweets...",
"Matthew 13: 13-15 - For this people's heart has grown callous; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts... -",
"-No matter how many times I implore of you to tell me the truth about the situation, you listen to the orchestrator's instruction of not telling me...or their instructions, period...",
"John 18(21-23) - Why question me? Ask those who heard me. Surely they know what I said.‚ ...If I said something wrong,‚ Jesus replied, ‚testify as to what is wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?‚... -",
"- in my situation, im telling people over &over, for 11+ years, don't read in2 my actions, stop making things about U or taking things personally, actNatural without hiding things, don't listen to the instructions of the orchestrators..i think the orchestrators filter what I say.",
"Matthew 27:4 \"I have sinned by betraying innocent blood,\" he said... - in my situation, the world is on one team, and I'm on another. do you have any idea what the orchestrators did to me while I was away from work recently?!",
"Matthew 27:18 \"For he knew it was out of self-interest that they had handed Jesus over to him.\"The orchestrators &the projected children like sounds are not doing this for 11+years! to build me or make my life better. That is just the front of a massive project, for their ends.",
"Psalm 3...A priest I knew introduced some of the verses of this psalm to me, under a different context. But I believe the whole thing applies to my \"situation.\"...",
"Luke 23:13‚Äì19...I have examined him in your presence and have found no basis for your charges against him...But the whole crowd shouted, ‚Away with this man!..In my situation, u, the American people, have aided the orchestrators, in robbing me of opportunities, &be their victim.",
"so some philosophy...-",
"-Ive said before, peace of mind is priceless...but in this massive 11+year secret against one human being as part of the screwing with his mind, America has stolen peace and the opportunities of 11+ years for me. I see America in all its glory, in its superficial altruism.-",
"-There is this Biblical saying ‚And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.(Mark 9:42)-",
"- Peace of mind, or the state of mind, is that precious. Get punched in the arm, it bleeds, it gets visibly bruised, it eventually heals. But the mind...can you see its wounds from years of familial and societal betrayal? -",
"-The mind is the steering wheel/the command center controlling the whole operation of the body...on what justifiable basis do u, the orchestrators, and mankind screw with a young man's mind for 11+years? Not even Hitler did this to the Jews...he horrifically baked them in ovens-",
"- while the Americans drag out their torture as part of a massive game...But back to the Biblical saying about ‚And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin...\"-",
"- The little ones represent the innocence within the human condition. That innocence is peace and peace is God. -",
"-Heaven for all we know could be this state of mind, as Adam and Eve were like children who believed like a child, that their parents, in this case, God, would take care of everything. However, these derivations aside, the little ones in that quote represent -",
"- innocence within the human condition. To tamper with that state of mind, be it a school or a perverted few, the action is indicated as so evil, so wrong, it would be better 4 that entity to not have existed at all, as indicated by the morbid latter portion of the quote, where-",
"- the individual responsible is told to tie a rock around his neck & jump in2 the water. You don't screw with innocence, in whatever way it is expressed. It could be a regular guy, amidst 11+year hype, being relayed in anything/everything..why tamper with sanctity/peace of mind?!",
"- so that's from my philosophical side...",
"so a couple of regular tweets...-",
"If you have whole chia seeds and not the grounded up version, has anyone thought of using their coffee grinder to grind the chia seeds? Or do you need a special grinder that specifically says it can be used for other things?!",
"Try \"Kombucha\" as another water substitute. Can taste like soda and its sugar free and good for digestion...",
"Just followed @zoesaldana along with @shakira ... columbians are mad beautiful ...",
June 9th early morning tweets (before 6:32 AM) right side up in tumblr blog link below:
https://t.co/8poUrB3WEr
"U know looking back, at the state party school that I transferred to, in 2010, what they taught was done poorly & the subjects were out of date. I‚m sure they‚ll beg to differ. While they and their involvement of a ‚situation‚ strives to keep me writing in the midst of studying-",
"- other schools were teaching agile software practices, cloud computing, data warehousing, or even with a simple Java programming class: how to run JUnit test cases.-",
"- for months I tried contacting a professor for an old assignment and notes related to handling Java programming with sql database coding, never gives me what I want. Basically always says he‚too busy-",
"- in the party school, while their sister state university of Binghamton was teaching Java with Eclipse, enterprise style repositories and JUnit test cases, party school was using a baby program called Dr. Java.-",
"- my transcript is proof of the courses you teach. The duration of the situation and the kids is proof of a distraction in my priorities. My 4.0 high school GPA is testament to my academic caliber. Me, I like using the luxury of time to learn a course until it‚mastered.-",
"- students would say professor ravis course was 1 of the important courses. Didn‚t do so well the 1st time amidst obstacles. Wanted 2 take theCourseAgain. Ur partySchool‚conflictResolution VP insisted I take remaining courses @ a communityCollege so that Im out of their hair.-",
"-can you imagine this dip sh*ts advice? From a 4.0 gpa at Iona with scholarships and free laptops to a community college. The b*stars went out of his way to convince my parents I‚m crazy after he had the faculty monitor me on the harassment on the day of my life 2012 finals.-",
"The amountOfDamage that partySchool, those spitefulKids did, along w/the rest ofThe ‚situation.‚U should see some of theseFacesIm thinking why the f*k are U in myLife, while these randomly angry agenda fueled gamePlayers areIrritated theyre not wanted playing god w/some1‚life.-",
"- to some of the randomly angry agenda fueled game players, you wanna say have some dignity and move on.",
"The orchestrators are trying to figure me out. Put corny high school paths of doing what you love my way and things will follow. How old am I? How do you explain ur perverted presence in my life? Something can be learned from the Indian concept of arranged marriages-",
"- back in India, families strive to get their kids to perfection. Find a family, a women, that‚exceptional and meets standards. We wish a similar exceptionalism for careers, futures, education, etc. I come from this culture. In my family, father sought out opportunities in the-",
"- alien country of America and took care of his family and his extended family back home. Uncle went off to a different part of India and worked as the closest contact to Indian Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi with his Italian wife Sonia. My father, my uncle, did these things thru-",
"- hard work without distractions and American party schools constantly getting in the way. It is beyond me, why my parents aren‚t defending their culture and allowing these racist Americans to walk all over us, especially me.-",
"- the thing that‚absolutely beyond me is, I don‚t do drugs, I don‚t drink, just minding my business, I‚ve done nothing to no one, if there was anything to clear up-done it 100 times over. Why‚are these freaks pursuing me I.e. the orchestrators. For 8 years, I‚ve put aside my-",
"-likes, habits, grasping with the American dictators cruelty. Now after all that, they want to prostitute my life for entertainment while not disclosing what they do. American or not, what human being stands by while the orchestrators electrocute someone? -",
"- what do the orchestrators tell their following? Hey everyone, on behalf of the party school, we want are Renny to party like it‚1999
"Moving to normal tweets again
"Americans are worse than the Germans were with the Jews In Nazi Germany‚everything they do is superficial and not from the heart
"#Loki airs today on Disney Plus
"Loki",
"You‚d be surprised how many things from ages ago, or even eight years ago, can come in handy, in the present day, today
"Saw The Wedding Ringer the other day‚great movie‚seeking a female best friend though, not an audience
"You gotta check out the @TouchofModern app from the App Store or Google Play Store. They have the coolest things for sale
"this is what I wrote years ago, when something tried to make me think, by doing nothing, by sitting around in my house, I raised a strange group of kids to bother me across several years. -",
- once again you realize what you write is used to study you while the environment is manipulated to the orchestrator's liking by having something else presented as though it were through you.
https://t.co/0C3BxJDqMM
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"RT @RennyJi: W/everything, it boil down 2 \"what void\" ur trying 2 fill. Being human=ugly->a lot of good&bad w/in. Violent offenders should
"RT @RennyJi: - it wasn‚t God who caused my situation. It wasn‚t me, as I mind my business and return to my home. It was other people. Other
"Saw movie, ‚Oppenheimer.‚ It picked up during end of movie, where U realize U.S. government is taking away Oppenheimers credibility, despite & after his contributions 2 Manhattan Project‚s: atomic bomb. His crime was he wanted 2 raise awareness against dangers of nuclear warfare.",
"What does U.S. government do, when they‚re against accountability 4 their actions? They make U look like a clown, they take away ur credibility, they take away ur say by manipulating justice system against U, despite ur defense. They focus on ‚prevent, contain, salvage.‚-",
"- brain mapping‚what if it enabled people to be operated like drones?- like a remote control plane‚the project I‚m forced into isn‚t about curing diabetes. It‚about mapping person X‚consciousness, digitally, to person Y‚consciousness.-",
"- Everything happening is about employing common citizen as a soldier w/a government designed focus. This has been happening directly & indirectly. Indirectly, when U tell some idiot 2 do something & he/she does it. Directly, is when U map controllers consciousness 2 controllee.-",
The following three clips are from the Hulu movie: ‚Assassin‚ with Bruce Willis. It‚a 2023 released movie. Here‚part I:
https://t.co/CNzYTyhf1K
- Here‚part II of the same scene clip as Twitter doesn‚t allow clips longer than a minute and 30 seconds:
https://t.co/5H45FGkV8P
- here‚part 3 of same scene clip connected 2 last two clips in last 2 tweets. Perils of brain mapping is when like how it‚said in below clip when some1 maps their mind 2 urs & controls U. In movie the controllee experiences mind control as a lapse in memory.
https://t.co/NmGl6jAzzx
On the Miami herald‚
https://t.co/ZnMpN7DbQK
What else would the government do then play down something which coincides with the timing of the Cold War in the 1980s‚
https://t.co/TXSHypQp4W
"Clip in next tweet is from History Channel‚The UnXplained series, hosted by William Shatner‚if remote viewing is possible, and masqueraded under someone being a good citizen?(what? Kinda random), what else can be done more than 40 years after the subject of the clip?!-",
-Its understood Im part of a mockery on freedom/privacy in a State with Statue of Liberty in a country being symbol of opportunity‚how long things like below have 2 happen & with how many people 4 it not 2 arouse an ounce of empathy 2 help the 1 it surrounds thru disclosure?!
https://t.co/2hHQ0vyFng
"- the focus of remote viewing in the previous clip was mentioned in a notable news source: The Miami Herald.-",
"- I was watching the questioning of the Attorney General on CNN. It, got messy. But people: get messy. Years of being in my inescapable situation had resulted in me punching a hole in my wall twice.-",
"- On 2nd occassion, after I got LASIK; signifying no eye glass or contact lens cameras; part of a process of elimination: when i hit wall, I heard a family member stop coming towards, after they initiated walking in my direction. I can only imagine some1 instructed insanity.-",
"- after a while, the improbable becomes a possibility, when all other variables are eliminated. Something is producing the effect or even assault on my senses‚you begin to wonder, what‚causing that effect.-",
"- It‚interesting that after mentioning all the things I picked up on, to the FBI, the D.O.D. voicemail, etc., that no one came to my aid. If this phase is about boosting my ego, I‚d rather have, what is now a luxury, to move on with the normalcy of a human life.-",
"so a thought...-",
"-in a very convincing manner, the orchestrators make it clear to me that they're going to, subtly put, \"do away\" with me, while in this, or at the end of this. Something this big, after 11+years, even if it were just legally, the \"situation\" does not have a happy ending-",
"-i don't think my own parents go through my written material...for one thing, i think there's something paraphrasing what i write to them. regarding the rest of America, I think a filtered version is being delivered to you of what happens to me or what I write. -",
"- for some of you, you're in a fun game. keep track of where he goes, send it to the medium/platform - i guess?! There's the children like sounds, but at least so that group will help me, there is another group doing something else. -",
"- both of which are illegal. The children like sounds are arrogant. They're convinced its just them. When this first started, I called the police several times about this whole \"situation\", from start to finish, in its peculiarity. They lied to me and didn't help me. -",
"- When I went to the FBI, they gave me something to perpetually write on, for the hackers. The party school wanted to get rid of me and had their Conflict Resolution help the kids who started this instead of me. -",
"- The secondary group of orchestrators - for distraction purposes - and the primary group of orchestrators (to make their cause relevant with past trivial issues) want me to perpetually talk about the party school, the girl, and the random kids from the beginning of all this.-",
"- thats done, i moved on, i left the country cuz I didn't want to be bothered. But the orchestrators - their whole band - followed me there. -",
"- You as a people, because instructed or otherwise, talk about the past garbage that happened at the party school, like its the most-matter-of-fact-thing. But there is something else happening: abuse. -",
"-In myLife, in these 11+years, firefighters willExtend a hand, but also hide \"theSituation.\" The police exert authority&play in2 the situation. The FBI enables theSituation. The partySchool wants 2 save its ownSkin. In an American conspiracy against 1 person, I left out 1 group.-",
"- In just going through past job application emails, I see the part where they ask you, \"if you're a veteran?\" They ask did you serve your country. Some people join the military for better opportunities after their service, and some are in it for the service. But when a normal-",
"- person thinks of a soldier, they think of someq going off 2 the Middle East &nabbing some bad guys. But we say \"Thank U for ur service.\" Well, guys, myAmerican citizenship is being violated. There is a massiveConspiracy against 1 American. Illegal all around with illegal tech.-",
"- everyone is taking facts for granted and taking the extra measure of not talking to the person involved, for 11+ years. Being an American requires the extra step of compassion and a heart in your actions. While I understand you blow things up, I am in need of your compassion.-",
"- I am in need of an exemplary American, such as a soldier, \"fighting for this country\" (as they say), to defend my rights against a government that allows this to happen. It's been 11+ years. Why are you taking this for granted and not investigating?-",
"-If you were to help me, unlike the others who say through obligation, duty, what they were instructed, or mechanically: \"Thank you for your service.\" , I would say it from the bottom of my heart. -",
"-Why won't even you not look into what's going and help me? Is it because of my Indian skin and do I remind you of the Middle Eastern Muslims that you're stereotyped to being against? Is it because I'm not a blonde white girl that you allow this to happen to me?-",
"- To fight for my citizenship's entitlement, you don't need to go to another country. Stop this illegal thing and the façade of the orchestrators from happening. -",
"-If its because you see me as an enemy, then do me the kindness of ending me like you do with the rest, rather than having these disgusting pigs of orchestrators keep their word of \"doing away with me.\"",
Verilux Sun Lamps - might give you an energy boost...
https://t.co/PGnA20olNz
"I think there are aromatherapy oils that you can apply on the skin for their health benefits...who knew...",
June 9th evening afternoon tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below (morning tweets and resulting tumblr link -several tweets down):
https://t.co/b5ZdnSXTPw
"June 10th tweets -",
There's a solar eclipse today:
https://t.co/whsHUGh71j
"Every morning, there is this one idiot monkey making sure his vehicle's engine or whatever, is as loud as possible...What about the people who sleep at this time? Sorry something is making you drive, but don't take it out on the rest of us in our houses...",
"So get this‚went for undergraduate degree and graduate degree at two different state schools. One is Binghamton, and the other, I call the party school. I Think downstate, people know which school I‚m referring to, but getting to the point: -",
"- needed transcripts from both colleges for a particular purpose. Both unofficial and official transcripts work. With Binghamton, I have Google mail made for my Binghamton email address. I can still access records and my main account page. This is all after graduating.-",
"- I decide to get an official transcript because a pdf version of it can be emailed to you. It costs $5. At party school, the same thing costs $10. Whereas Binghamton sent me the download link for the transcript within 30 min, party school still hasn‚t reached back to me, after -",
"- charging $10. My old email at party school does not work. My old account page, after graduating from party school does not work. It just shows the kind of quality you get, if the orchestrators were stalking that too. It shows all the other things said were true. -",
"- here‚another instructing fact about comparisons between Binghamton and party school: the meal plan. Both schools partner with Sodhexo for meal plan food. But party school seems to get cheap quality food from a cheaper plan and charges students $15 per meal for an -",
"— all you can eat buffet style meal. At Binghamton, they spent the extra nickel and got quality meal plans and charge less. You get real pizza for like 75 cents. You can get a hamburger for 75 cents. You can ask the guy at the grill to make you ham, egg, cheese on a croissant-",
"- or an egg white sandwich between toasted wheat bread. On Saturday‚s, you get chocolate chip pancakes, that are big, and made in front of u. You pay for what‚eaten. At party school, I got smart and found out about paying at chipotles and other places with your school ID card.-",
"- I would transfer my meal plan money to the ID card in what was called ‚Podium.‚ That way I ate at chipotles for less than the $15 meal plan at party school.",
"-Their computer science program is a joke. Their French & other departments close down. All at the party school. They probably have their respective graduate rates because of the not up 2 date classes they teach. Check past transcripts,their curriculum, and the job market to see.",
"Moving past comparisons in features/benefits of quality school: Binghamton, vs. party school‚-",
"I personally think Im crystal clear & thorough. Be it because of the situation or non native English speakers, people don‚t see the point I wish to convey. If Ive tried repeatedly to make a point, then whose it on ?!-",
"-For some strange reason, it‚like they‚re looking through a filter, or the lens of immaturity and zero life experience, or think you imply something malicious.",
"- I mean this one guy‚talking to him‚seems like he wants to do good‚ ur every third sentence, I gotta explain that I‚m not seeing things the way he keeps understanding whatever‚that‚like in a normal situation‚-",
"- then in the abnormal situation, God only knows what ur environment reacts to. Is there someone who doesn‚t want to be around cuz you think I‚m in a bad mood or because - Now, while God only knows why you care - you don‚t like my perceived tone or what I‚m saying in writing?! -",
"- while I genuinely appreciate the interest by some around a regular guy, surrounded by hype of a compounding situation, ur wasting ur time looking into this. Go get out in the sun, and stop adhering to the orchestrators. It‚incredible, peoples mind always sticks together. -",
"- you couldn‚t detect malicious or difficult or a source of irritation if ur lives depended on it‚just from observation‚When alll this is over, and you see the unfiltered version of my words, I sincerely hope it stings‚I tried to wake you up, get you to do nothing, be natural.",
"-u‚d rather go about followingTheOrchestrators. U may even think I don‚t appreciate some perceived magnanimousGesture on the part of urPeople or those sharing ur skin tone (offense not taken, its biology/psychology). I don‚t needThem, &ur not getting a restricted life of 11+ yrs.",
"On the up side, had a tiny exchange of light conversation with someone in my morning outing‚pleasant, and wakes u up as good as coffee‚pleasant only cuz it came about naturally and not forced
"saw episode 1 of \"Loki\" on Disney Plus...i thought it was really good...it gets into the multiverse, time travel, anachronisms...good stuff...",
"you know what's an epic name for a woman? \"Vivianna\"I mean so many syllables, starts exotically with a \"V\"...sounds fancy...",
"Did you know that : \"NeuroFactor is an all-natural, patented extract of whole fruit from the Coffea arabica plant.\" ? It's the unused part of coffee beans and I heard it's supposed to be good for your brain...",
"anyone try exercising with a vibration platform? I think you can only do (3) 10 min sessions at a time, daily...",
June 10th tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below:
https://t.co/uiS2uXSPXf
"So \"Death Wish Coffee\" could be the strongest coffee out there. They sell it on Amazon &other places u can google. 1 cup of coffee, amidst conflicted claims, has anywhere between 300-700 mg of caffeine. Big variance. Daily caffeine intake is recommended to be 400 mg, altogether.-",
"- so its like multiple cups of coffee in one mug. Kinda hesistant to try it myself, but at the same time I think Im among those who aren't sensitive to caffeine or have a tolerance. You gotta wonder if that 400 mg recommendation is for all people, or just a generalization.",
"so ads on twitter for paris hilton &Kristin stewart..whatever happened to paris hilton?",
"-The way Kristin Stewart &her fellow Charlies Angel, in the original duo, in the 2019 version look, u can see the difference b/w a model & a non-model...They \"look like\" models, and not necessarily like normal human beings...",
"Ever been out with a girl who wants to see who can drink more tequila shots? Personally, I don't see the thrill...more of a caffeine person...Why knock out your brain so much that you're not thinking straight?! The mind is the control center. Why dampen that? -",
"-But 11+ years in this, now I can use a tequila shot...took 11+ years...",
"- thinking back, you feel you had it made... i mean i was the guy who'd never get ID'd at bars. In the tequila shot incident, its kinda funny, when you pass through, you gotta help the one whose idea it was for tequila shots, get in...-",
"- I think part of the thrill is, for some, it's something you can't do...",
so saw on Google News that a woman gave birth to 10 babies...that is something else...
https://t.co/zah5uOZgmZ
"you know if I make it big, in my spare time, i think i'll be a pharmacist and/or astronomer...",
"saw this light skinned African American girl modeling for probably her Instagram, outside a store I went to today...kinda makes you wish you were taller...like I said this morning, some people have looks that go beyond the average human...like the Charlies Angels comment...",
"chicken enchiladas or chicken stuffed with cheese and broccoli...good stuff...",
"online ordering..U never no what'll happen..ordered a brownJacket of 1 particularSize from macys &got a whiteJacket of a different size..another macys story? ordered 2 large jackets from the same brand, different color. 1 is loose like XL & the other fits.-Manufacturing Defect...",
"I hear \"Harley Quinn\" on HBO Max is good...looking forward to that on Saturdddayyy...-heard its like a mature Batman cartoon...",
"currently experiencing sunset through the blinds in my room...kinda would be nice to be out in a field and immerse oneself in it...has a glow to it, unlike the brightness of sunrise...yeah i know, i'm corny...",
"looks like @sesamestreet has gotten new characters, in going beyond bert and ernie...",
"so today no tumblr link, as you can just scroll down/up and read...",
"So on Facebook you see these clips of women proposing to guys‚WOW‚it‚like women never ask a guy out and just give vague signs, and you find out there are women who go so far as to ‚proposing to a guy.‚ Why isn‚t that real life‚direct expressions/interactions over signs!",
"-there are a bunch of clips on Facebook. One is about a girl who cheated on a guy..& it got me philosophical 4 a moment..when some1 nowadays says ‚cheat‚ in a relationship, it means U had relations w/ another. I think its incredible that ‚dating men &women‚ cheat in that regard-",
"-I mean it‚1 thing if married people cheat on each other, but u wonder how do ‚dating people‚ cheat? I mean ‚can‚t u just say I‚m no longer interested &move on?‚ And then on tv, u hear women encourage each other 2 go for the ‚best deal,‚ regardless of the stage of life.-",
"- I mean one thing you learn about Americans is that they have no conscience. Corny as it sounds, you don‚t follow ur heart.-",
"The other day I was waiting on a parking space through cars passing by, while my signals on. A middle aged mother with a baby in a white SUV, seeing my signal, steals the space, and waits for my car to pass by, before getting out. A mother of a baby did that. -",
"- this is where this country is at, and by the time my ‚situation‚ is over, trust me when I say, ur going to see America exposed.",
"Moving onto another note,-",
"- I think girls are more likely to cheat then guys. Sure it‚said that guys only think/care about one thing. But here‚something you probably weren‚t aware of. I learned a while back that women can multitask better and focus on multiple things. -",
"- women are wired that way b/c evolution/biology wise, it‚supposed 2 help them be mothers. Men are wired to be able to focus on 1 thing at a time. So, on a positive note, in a relationship, a woman can be the person who comes up with all of the ideas 2 improve quality of life.-",
"- in such a relationship, the multi focus woman comes up with the ideas, and the 1 focus man, encourages a single plan for those ideas or one idea being better than the rest. Thats 1 way things can happen. But the multi focused woman will be more inclined to think of other men.-",
"- whereas the single minded man holds the potential of placing that one woman on a pedastil (if that‚how it‚spelled) or on a high place to cater to.",
"- some men want to fulfill desire, while others also seek a companion, but women are generally after the ‚best deal.‚ Their friends are notorious for encouraging this
"Moving on‚-",
"They say a husband and wife compliment each other‚so the ideal boyfriend/girlfriend must do the same‚-",
"-when ur bored with time to think, for those that solely think we‚re evolution based, how does evolution, without an Intelligent Creator, create males and females, who are complimentary with respect to physical body parts and mentally in terms of love and support provided?!",
"So vitamin water and Powerade, found at your supermarket and vending machines, has 27 grams and 34 grams of sugar, respectively. BUT,-",
"‚ Rebbl ‚ drinks are nourishing, but cost about $4.50. They only contain 9-10 grams sugar. Koia Plant Based Shake has 4 grams of sugar and protein. And bai juice has antioxidants and 1 gram sugar. This good stuff costs around $4.50 a small bottle. Why is that?-",
"-Is it because people don‚t know about these drinks that I‚ve found on InstaCart and Wegmans, and hence, not enough people are buying it?",
"Amazon groceries (Fresh version or Whole Foods version) sells a version of Chocolate Nesquick with just 3 grams of sugar‚ tastes the same
June 11th & June 12th tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below:
https://t.co/bmjlPKFDu9
"June 13th tweets
"Want 2 shave around the line up or shape up from ur barber? ‚Single foil electric‚ shavers help. There aren‚t that many on the market. Try the ‚Babylisspro‚ single foil shaver. Want to do your facial hair line up/shape up by urself? Try the ‚Andis 74000 Professional T Outliner‚ .",
"So when I first bought a particular item, it was $95. Today, just feel like googling stuff, and find that the same item is selling for $38. Really makes you wonder about the true value of stuff, what it costs to make quality things, and how much money companies are making
"The old school straight razor from Japan‚‚Feather‚ brand can help with line ups/shape ups of facial hair
"So religion and psychology‚I feel if you practice the discipline recommended by religion, along with incorporating the meditative or yogic practices of other religions, psychology, in a lot of cases, would be out of a job. There are some bad cases,but those aside‚-",
"- when it comes to religion, while people have the freedom 2 be as liberal as they choose, hard core discipline, when religions first started, must have been necessary. Guidance from religion led to good families & good upbringing of children. It led to productivity & progress.-",
"- I mean, like in the days of primitive man, or I guess like 2500 years ago, when people must‚ve partied, or bluntly put: got f*ked all day, there was no progress, not productivity, no improvement to the quality of life‚ we probably wouldn‚t have TVs, laptops, cell phones, etc.-",
"- it‚because people managed to focus on bigger and better things, that they made something of themselves, and that we enjoy the quality of life offered today, despite the lack of a conscience for the most part
"Moving on from a thought
"With life in general, from jobs to clothes, I think it‚good to have options
"Restaurants usually have a group of people‚that being known, where on earth do all the people park for the restaurants in Bronxville‚Pondfield Road?!",
"That ‚ahhh why now?!‚ Moment when you voice crackles in front of a pretty girl, from not speaking all morning
"If you like Greek food, like the more well known baklava, you gotta try the Greek dessert: ‚Galaktoboureko.‚ It‚delicious, after a Greek/Mediterranean Lamb Gyro with Tzatziki sauce
"I dunno, I started wondering‚a girl once told me she thought I‚d look good with an earring in onE ear-for starters, don‚t know how I‚d explain it to my parents‚even at this age‚-",
"-The funny thing about earrings? I went to all boys Catholic private college preparatory high school. There we had to be clean shaven and wear blazers and ties to school, but guys were allowed to wear one earring in 1 ear‚so earrings are considered proper with suits‚who knew?!-",
"Nowadays, they sell temporary tattoo printers. At present, I see a lot of people my age with tattoos.Why get a permanent 1, when u can get a realistic 1 that‚temporary?! I mean‚chances are u have beautiful skin & could be stared it all day‚why make there be less of u 2 show?!",
"So when you swipe ur card to make purchases at some food/beverage places, along with asking for a receipt, it also asks if you want to leave a tip‚I mean you go to a restaurant here and there, you naturally leave a tip‚but what if it‚a place you go to everyday with ur card?!",
"So, chocolate chip or cookie dough? I prefer cookie dough
"So back when I wore sweatpants, we‚d wear them like cargoPants-pockets on side/kinda baggy‚u can‚t findAPlace thatSellsThese sweatpants anymore-how do they go outOfStyle, compared 2 regularSweatPants?! Closest thing I could find are‚Nike Joggers‚ &they cost 40 freakin‚ bucks.",
"That moment where you wonder why the guy dropping off your box, left it on the first of three steps toward your front door, leaving you to walk outside. Like everyone else, can‚t it be dropped off in front of the front door, above those three steps?",
"As I get caffeinated to catch up on some work, it occurs to me‚I‚m in my very early thirties. Everyone I grew up with is getting married or have kids. As you may have heard from me, it‚been a lifelong dream to make a girl my best friend in college, and marry her.-",
"- the ‚situation‚, from start 2 finish, in all itsVariations, over all these yrs, messedUp thatDream. Since I was little, I wanted a female some1 who was the sameAge asMe. MyParents are 6 years apart, w/my dad being older. I dunno, I kinda wanted some1 on the same page,an equal.-",
"- now with all who I know being married or with children, I‚ll probably end up with someone younger than me. Way to mess up my ‚same age‚ dream, orchestrators
"You know what‚good? Sorbettos and gelatos
"So there‚another Thor movie coming up in 2022, Guardians of the Galaxy movie coming up in 2023-good to see what happens post-Thanos‚theres another doctor strange movie, black panther, ms marvel‚Thank God for Marvel‚DC needs fo keep up with their releasing of movies
"so in some place around the world and in older times, people would base relationships on astrology. In America, people look to astrology for fun. In India, they have their more in depth astrology system - probably more accurate, as its from Hinduism. -",
"- i think basing relationships on the characteristics of a star sign is limiting. People are more than signs. I don't believe a star sign says what you are, but instead, what you have the potential of being. According to American astrology, I'm a Libran - the scales of justice.-",
"-Ironically, i'm probably in the most unjust thing that can happen to a person. For me, it would be ideal to get Gemini or an Aquarius. But Leos are good too. But these are just limiting details. If you have an open heart and a conscience, you can be with any star sign.-",
"-Ages ago, I knew a Cancer, according to astrology. According to one site, it said \"if there's time, there's potential, and would be an affectionate couple.\" What's funny about that girl...they say there are two kinds of Librans. The partying Librans and the romantic Librans...-",
"- The one I am, I'll leave it to my potential girl friend/spouse to figure out, but the guy this June star sign went with, was, from first impression, more the party Libran. What do you do when girls want that...",
"-Me, being a Libra, the only inanimate thing in the zodiac - it says we're social, king of friends & relationships...& here we are, with the orchestrators who bring up cr*p about me not being liked or in need of friends...don't like me? chances are i don't like you either, lol..-",
"- but point being, whether it be for a relationship or your career (as mine says I should be a lawyer), your destiny, your fate (as they're two different concepts), rests solely on the choices of an individual. Those choices depend on the smartness and wisdom of the individual.-",
"-Never let anything - be it something cosmic like astrology or another person - tell you what you are, or what you can be. You decide your fate, your destiny. Take charge of your life.",
June 13th tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below:
https://t.co/yt1vx5tnnL
"6/14/21 tweets
"Did you know February 2, 2020 was an event that occurs after 900 years? The date is a palindrome. 02/02/2020 - reads the same backwards and forwards‚Man o man, I missed it
"Whatever happened to BTS after Dynamite?!",
"Christmas songs always make one feel good‚the whole mood and setting of Christmas, especially a white Christmas is beautiful
"‚Angels we have heard on high‚- personal favorite- Gloooo-oooo-ooooo‚Äî riiiaaa",
"I have a friend from 14 years ago, named Zac‚recently saw his 2-4 year old daughter call him ‚daddy‚ in a Facebook video‚really moves a guy‚around Easter I think, there was a Facebook clip of her signing ‚Hosanna‚‚smart little girl
"From Wellerman -‚sea shanty‚ to Katherine jenkins ‚Sancta maria‚ to ‚adeste Fideles‚ to Stevie wonder ‚ave Maria‚‚my Spotify playlist just started playing this stuff‚I really enjoyed it‚whatever genre these songs were‚maybe you will too‚be warned, it‚old school stuff
"So this Church I go 2..Annunciation in Yonkers..its a nice Church..can take back roads from my house 2 get there..but whether or not its b/c I go 2 their 7:30 or 10 am Masses, theres not even 1 song‚u need a song like ‚He will raise you up on Eagles Wings‚‚ songs move the soul.",
"Aesthetics of a place, a person, always affects thoseAround u. People shouldMakeThemselves presentable &places like Churches should be aesthetically pleasing. In the sixth grade, I remember seeing Sacred Heart Church inYonkers 4 the 1st time. It was beautiful in magnificent way.-",
"-seeing that Church for the 1st time really moved me inside. It facilities feeling like ur in the majesty of God
"- speaking of aesthetics, Iona Prep is also a magnificent high school. You hear private school or college preparatory school, some are inclined to think about preppy kids. But we were shown a mode of life for our future. There I met teachers like Mr. Henry or Mrs. Fealy. -",
"- these were model teachers, exceptional in teaching. In Mrs. Fealys biology class, I struggled, but she was available after school, everyday 2 try to drill the material into the annoying kid that was me. For her, I may have been a speck in time, but r me,she was a modelTeacher.-",
"- at neither Binghamton nor party school, did I meet such dedicated teachers. I mean college professors have office hours, but a lot of them are professors not to teach, but to use the research facilities at a University location.-",
"- Binghamton is termed the Harvard of the SUNYs. But thru life experience, as appropriate FOR MY INDIVIDUAL LIFE, Ive found you get what you paid for. I think if I went to a private college, among non IVYs, like Manhattan College, facilities and instruction would‚ve been better.-",
"- state colleges are probably the worst place to seek out a money saving opportunity. Some say focus on a good graduate school, but undergrad serves as the foundation for the rest of ur possibly continuing education and you always need a good base.-",
"-anyway back to the great high school I mentioned: Iona Prep of New Rochelle. The school has a motto: ‚Estoti Firmi‚. It‚s, I believe, Latin for ‚Stay Firm.‚ Over these 11+ years, I‚ve had lots of time to think. That motto has crossed my mind, among other things‚-",
"- through the good moments in life, as well as life‚storms, you need to stand tall, with your feet in the ground, and face things- or simply put, stay firm, stay strong, maintain consistency, maintain who you are in ur identity, despite all that brushes against you.-",
"- this situation paints me in all sorts of ridiculous ways 2get me 2react 4 their entertainment purposes. For 11+ years, Ive been abandoned by people &left alone as depicted being one thing or the other. But Ive realized I‚ve got to maintain me, try to get a correcting word out.-",
"@IonaPrep , thank you for the privilege of being part of your community, my education, you being who and how you are, and for your motto: ‚Estoti Firmi .‚",
"Great thing a grade school/high school can do is give incentive 4 a day off.-",
"-Iona Prep, run by Irish Christian Brothers-followers of Blessed Edmund Rice- had 1particularBrother‚I believe his name was Brother O‚Conner(2002). For collecting so many cans 4Thanksgiving drive, we were awarded a day off‚makes school exciting
"So I said state ***Colleges don‚t always have the best professors‚u may argue w/their graduation rates‚but in a lot of cases, that‚not b/c of a particular professors teaching‚its b/c of a students ability 2teach him/herself the material thru their ability 2 grasp textbooks.-",
"- like when you pay for college, ur paying for their reputation (if they have one), the facilities, and those select few of professors who give exceptional notes, for making teaching urself the textbook easier.",
"Listen to this Japanese song from the anime, ‚The Seven Deadly Sins‚ ‚ it‚addicting‚it‚called ‚ Netsujou no Spectrum ‚ and it‚by Ikiminogakari . YouTube it ‚ makes you feel like ur on an adventure with friends or on some epic quest
"So some of U may have biases towards theChinese, in terms of American made vs. China made, or maybe even basedOn COVID . But I have many ChineseFriends (along with East Asian friends in general-Im South Asian) &the Chinese are greatPeople, a smartPeople. Their products areGreat.-",
"- I personally feel America is in a slump with new products ( could have to do with present day culture and mentality). The disciplined hardworking Chinese come up with revolutionary futuristic devices that can better life.-",
"-Personally, today, things have been slow. Was having a hard time focusing, caffeine wasn‚t helping, taking my mind off work and taking a break wasn‚t working‚so I searched for solutions when this happened last‚and I found the -",
"-like I wasSaying, I foundThe‚ Afunso Head Scalp Massager ‚ onAmazon. WorthItsPrice. It uses compressionTech 2 increaseCirculation 2the head. I suddenlyFelt able&ready 2get back 2work. How many of ourProblems areDue 2 poor Circulation? &the meds people goOn instead..sad,America.",
"So if U buy 2 exact sameShirts from Macy‚-Polo Ralph Lauren or anyBrand-theyll fit differently.Same w/Amazon. Buy 2 of anything made in America/China/Wherever, &those 2things might workComparativelyDifferently. Whats goingOn w/manufacturing? Shouldn‚t these things be identical?",
June 14th tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below:
https://t.co/ODh6egvsJt
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Deep Impact (1998)
Film review #581
Director: Mimi Leder
SYNOPSIS: A reporter who is investigating the resignation of the Secretary of Defence stumbles on a much bigger story than she expected, and forces a public announcement from the President: A large comet is due to collide with the Earth and cause huge destruction. While a last-hope mission to the comet is being prepared, there are also plans to make sure humanity survives if the comet actually makes it to the planet...
THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Deep Impact is a 1988 sci-fi disaster film. It is perhaps most notable for being released in the same timeframe as Armageddon, a similar disaster film also about a comet heading for Earth. The two have slightly different angles and tone though as we shall see. The film opens up with journalist Jenny Lerner investigating the resignation of the Secretary of Defense. this leads to her discovering (inadvertently) that there is an Extinction Level Event threatening the planet, which forces the President to disclose to the world that a comet is on a collision course with Earth. It's a fairly typical disaster film after that, with the film focusing on a mission to try and destroy the comet, and also balancing that with the human stories of the characters caught up in it. This film, more so than Armageddon, focuses on the latter, with the different characters roles and responses to the impending catastrophe being the primary focus. The main issue with this, however, is that it focuses on human drama, and it chooses the most boring of said drama to show us. The main character is constantly awful: the way she treats her dad for no real reason is childish and nasty, and even when she does something good and heroic, the way she does it hardly redeems her. probably the most interesting thing about the film is the space mission that is sent to destroy the comet, which provides a decent amount of action, but their mission ends half way through, and then their whole story arc just becomes irrelevant until the finale. In fact, the film pretty much runs out of steam at the halfway point, and just gives up at the same time that the characters give up trying to stop the comet. The film mentions a lottery that will choose the people that will be allowed to survive the impact, but doesn't really explore the impact of this, and the usual riots and breakdown of society which usually occurs in these types of disaster films apparently just does not happen, or at least we never see on screen, which is odd to just gloss over, even if it's something we expect and have seen many times before.
Apart from the main character, the rest of the cast are similarly uninteresting. The weirdest ones are the teenage couple who constantly act like they're a middle aged couple. They get split up but then reunite later in a pointless diversion, and their whole characters just feel off. you could easily cut them out of the film and lose nothing. The crew aboard the "Messiah" spacecraft likewise don't have that much development or interesting things happens to them on a character development level. Another aspect of the film that I thought was odd is the focus on journalism and the media at a time of catastrophe. I get it in part, because the main character is a reporter, but nearly everything is done through the media and TV stations, and the film feels like it wants to "glorify" the role of the media and journalism in times of disaster and it being almost the centre of importance, which just feels a bit...wrong and dirty in some way. Maybe the film had to emphasise the significance of the media because it got the rights to use the MSNBC likeness for the backdrop, but either way, it made the film feel like it was focusing on the wrong things, and if the film wanted to focus on the "human" element of catastrophe, then doing it through the lens of the media just obfuscates that.
There are some moments in the film which are decent: the comet striking Earth and the destruction scenes are well done, and it gets some of the emotional scenes right, but these often have no impact on the characters themselves. The science is a bit more accurate than a film like Armageddon, but I'm not sure how much that would matter to the average film-watcher.
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The following was posted to /r/aliens on July 5, 2023. It contains claims and details of studies done on "Exo-Biospheric-Organisms (EBO)". The user was never verified and the account has since been deleted. Copied text below. Link to reddit post.
From the late 2000s to the mid-2010s, I worked as a molecular biologist for a national security contractor in a program to study Exo-Biospheric-Organisms (EBO). The aim of the program was to elucidate the genome and proteome basis of these organisms. Although the study of OBCs has been going on for decades in other programs, the new high-throughput DNA sequencing technologies of the late 90s unblocked stagnant research in this area. Since then, several breakthroughs have led to significant advances in our understanding of the genome and proteome of these beings. What we've learned so far has enabled us to outline some disconcerting perspectives about our place in this universe. Briefly, we've discovered that the EBO genome is a chimera of genomes from our biosphere and from an unknown one. They are artificial, ephemeral and disposable organisms created for a purpose that still partially eludes us. I'll be substantiating my statements after a brief introduction.
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It seems like all my comments are being deleted. I will post answer at the end of the message.
The reason for disclosing these secrets is quite simple. I believe that every human being has the right to know the truth, and that to progress, humanity needs to divest itself of certain institutions and organizations that will probably not survive these revelations in the long term. I'm aware that I'll have very little impact in this regard, but I still believe that small leaks are necessary to break the dam of misinformation on this subject. When the governments will eventually reveal these secrets, there will undoubtedly be a societal upheaval, but in my opinion, the longer we wait, the worse it will be. I choose to divulge what I know anonymously out of selfishness for the well-being of myself and my family. I'm aware that this diminishes the reach and credibility of my message, but it's the furthest I am willing to go. I chose this forum because it offers a good compromise between anonymity and popularity. In order to protect my anonymity, I will be purposely vague or even contradictory about any information that could identify me (date, education, role etc.). I'll even introduce red herrings in this respect. I want to make it clear that any information related to the subject of the research will not be treated in this way.
Before going any further, please excuse me if you find it difficult to understand what I'm explaining. Some parts of my text are very technical. It's difficult to find the right balance between vulgarization and scientific explanation. I'll continue by talking about myself. What's the point of talking about me knowing that the information will necessarily be misleading? I simply want to introduce a perspective on the type of people who work there, normal scientists. I have a Ph.D. in molecular biology. I didn't actively seek to be part of this program, rather it was a stroke of luck that introduced me to one of the senior scientists. I met this person at a conference where I was presenting a poster on my Ph.D. research. When I think back, I don't believe he was impressed by what I was presenting, because it was quite frankly a project that wasn't going anywhere. I think it was rather the most important aspect of a professional life: the attitude and the ease with which you make connections. Shortly afterwards, I graduated and received a call from this person offering me a position. At the time, everything pointed to me working in a regular laboratory.
I did a series of three increasingly suspicious interviews, each in a different location, where my scientific background and knowledge became less and less relevant. The first was with two of the senior scientists, the second and third with people I've never seen again and who were obviously not interested in science. Sometime after the interview, I was asked to go to a fourth location where what seemed like a corporate lawyer presented me with an NDA. He made sure not only to explain every detail, but also that I understood the consequence of not respecting it.
The first Employment weeks were by far the most memorable, although I spent most of that time in a depressing archive room. It consists almost exclusively of reading about the subject of study and to get us up to speed. There's no secret Wikipedia or even a reference book to guide us. There are only dry reports, memos, presentations, procedures and SOPs. These documents are almost exclusively about the biology of EBOs, but there are also a few that deal with other subjects such as their food, religion or culture. There were no documents on their technology.
As mentioned above, the aim of the project is to gain a better understanding of the EBO genome and proteome. To achieve this, a team of around twenty scientists, four senior scientists and a director was involved. The scientists, like myself, had as their main responsibility to carry out the technical work. As each scientist had to my knowledge a Ph.D., we were all somewhat overqualified for what is ultimately a technician's job. The senior scientists, who make full use of their diplomas, had the task of designing the assays and had a supervisory responsibility. They were also in charge of training new employees, and sometimes even came in to do technical work. The director, of course, was the person in charge who dictated priorities to the senior scientists. He was rarely on site, and the few times he was, it was to attend meetings. Other than the scientific staff, there were security guards working for one subcontractor or another. There were no support staff such as janitors or maintenance workers. Scientists were responsible for this kind of work. In addition, logistical constraints ensure that every scientist is capable of carrying out any technical activity.
The laboratory itself is located in Fort Detrick, Maryland, in a building used for legitimate biomedical research. The clandestine operations are carried out in a restricted part of the basement, out of sight from regular workers. Contrary to what one might imagine, the biosafety level is not maximal for this type of research. Indeed, the lab containing EBO samples or derived cell cultures is BSL3, while the lab where assays are conducted are only BSL2. The BSL3 area of the facility includes a freezer room and a cell culture lab and is only accessible through an antechamber from the BSL2 section. EBO carcasses are preserved in horizontal freezers at a temperature of -80°C nominal. To maximize the preservation of these carcasses, they are preserved in vacuum bags and the air in the room is controlled to minimize humidity. There are only four bodies and none of them are complete. It's obvious that these creatures have died as a result of major trauma. I've never witnessed a motorcycle accident fatality, but it probably looks similar to this. It is acknowledged that there are more EBOs caracasses at other locations. The cell culture laboratory, as its name suggests, is where cell lines derived from EBOs are grown and related activities are performed. I'll talk in more detail about these specific cell lines later on. The BSL2 part is mainly used for assays, immunohistochemistry, genetic engineering, immunocytochemistry, storage etc. There's also a cell culture lab, but this is used for more traditional cell lines. Other than the labs, there are all the amenities you could find in an office. Note that the internet access is limited to senior staff and up. There is, however, an intranet for bioinformatics needs.
On the subject of the biology of these beings, I'll start by discussing genetics, then their gross anatomy and finally their biological systems. For the sake of clarity, the information that I provide here is an aggregation of what I have observed and what I have read. I will make many comparisons with human anatomy because it is the most logical reference.
Genetics:
First, I'd like to discuss their genetics. Their genetics are like ours, based on DNA. This fact was very puzzling for me when I first learned about it. We imagine that beings from an alternate biosphere would have genetics based on a completely foreign biochemical system and surprisingly, this is not the case. Several conclusions can be drawn from this surprising revelation. The one that immediately comes to mind is that our biosphere and theirs share a common ancestry. They're eukaryotes, which means their cells have nuclei containing genetic material. Which suggests that their biosphere would have been separated from ours sometime after the appearance of this type of organism. The term Exo-Biospheric-Organism is actually a misnomer, but as it's a historical term, it's still used. Their genetics are not only based on the same genetic system, but they’re also even compatible with our own cellular machinery. This means that you can take a human gene and insert it into an EBO cell, and that gene will be translated into protein, and this of course works in reverse with a human gene inserted into an EBO cell. There are important differences in post-translational modifications that will make the final protein non-functional, but I'll discuss these later. Their genome consists of 16 circular chromosomes.
You're probably familiar with the concept of intergenic region or "junk DNA". These are basically DNA sequences that don't code for proteins. These are evolutionary residues, transposons, inactivated genes and so on. To give you an idea, in humans, intergenic regions represent approximately 99% of our genome. I'm aware that these sequences aren't completely useless, they can be used as histone anchors, as buffers to protect coding DNA from radiation or even as alternative open reading frames, but that's rather peripheral.
What's particularly striking about the EBO genome is the uniformity of these intergenic regions. We see the same sequences repeated everywhere, and the distance in bp between the genes is virtually the same throughout their genome. The result is a minimalist, highly condensed genome. In fact, it's much smaller than ours. Moreover, the quantity of protein-coding genes is even significantly lower than ours, probably due to genetic refinement but also to biological processes that are absent in EBO. The uniformity of these sequences is a major indication of the artificiality of these beings. There is no complex organism on earth that has such elegance in its sequences. There is no evolutionary pressure that can lead to this kind of characteristic other than genetic engineering.
Speaking of genetic engineering, following sequencing of their genomes, we noticed a troubling and universal characteristic in the 5' of the regulatory sequence of each gene which we call the Tri-Palindromic Region. The TPR are 134bp sequences containing, as its name suggests, 3 palindromes. In genetics, a palindrome is a DNA sequence that when read in the same direction, gives the same sequence on both DNA strands. They serve both as a flag and as a binding site for proteins. The three palindromes in the TPR are distinct from one another and have been poetically named "5'P TPR", "M TPR" and "3' TPR". The TPR is composed (in 5' - 3' order) of 5'P TPR, 12bp spacer, Chromosomal address, 12bp spacer, M TPR, 12bp spacer, Gene address, 12pb spacer and 3' TPR. The chromosomal address is composed of 4 bp and is identical in each TPR of the same chromosome, but distinct between each of the 16 chromosomes of the genome. The Gene address is a 64bp sequence that is unique for each gene in the whole genome. It's therefore understandable that the TPR serves as a unique address not only for numerically identifying a gene, but also for identifying its chromosomal location. For those with only a basic knowledge of genetics, this is completely unheard of. No living thing in our biosphere has this kind of precise address in its genome. Once again, the presence of TPR cannot be explained by evolutionary pressure but only by genetic engineering on a genomic scale.
TPR opens the door to several possibilities. One of them suggests that EBO geneticists can insert or remove a gene from a cell in a way that is far more targeted and efficient than our technology allows. No proteins have been identified in the EBO genome that interacts with TPR. Rather, we believe that these proteins are exclusively targeted by external genetic engineering tools, probably used at the zygotic stage of embryonic development. The nature of these tools is unclear, but we definitely don't have anything like them. The probable absence of these proteins from the genome is a further indication of their artificiality. Given the high probability of artificiality of their genome and the apparent ease of modifying it with biomolecular tools, it's not out of the question that there could be polymorphism between individuals depending on their role and function. In other words, an individual could be genetically designed to have characteristics that give it an advantage in performing a given task, like soldier ants and worker ants in an anthill. Note that these previous statements are speculation. To my knowledge only one individual genome has been sequenced, I can't make a definitive statement on genetic variation between individuals.
I've talked a lot about intergenic regions, now I'll briefly discuss intragenic sequences. Briefly, because there's not a lot less to say despite its obvious importance. Much like ours, their genes have silencers, enhancers, promoters, 5'UTRs, exons, introns, 3' UTRs etc. There are many genes analogous to ours, which is not surprising given the compatibility of our cellular machinery. What's disturbing is that some genes correspond directly, nucleotide by nucleotide, with known human genes or even some animal genes. For these genes, there doesn't seem to be any artificial refinement but rather a crude copying and pasting. Why they do it is nebulous and still subject to conjecture. There are also many genes which are not found in our biosphere whose role has not been identified. Finding the purpose of these novel genes is one of the aims of the program. I'd like to note before going any further that this heterogeneity of genes of known and unknown origin is an undeniable proof of the artificiality of EBOs.
To conclude with genetics, the mitochondrial genome, at the time I was working there, had not yet been sequenced. It's safe to assume that this genome would also be streamlined and possibly has some version of TPR.
Transcription and translation and protein expression.
I briefly introduced the differences in post-translational modifications between human and EBO. This is hardly a surprise, as we often see the same thing between different terrestrial species. Obtaining a viable protein from a DNA sequence is a complex process involving hundreds of protein intermediates, each with a precise and essential role. A minor variation in this assembly line can lead to functional irregularities in the final product. So, it's no surprise that there are setbacks along the way when the first EBO gene transfection attempts failed to produce the desired functional protein in human cell lines. Fortunately for us, the work of what I imagine to be another team at another site has led to the development of an EBO cell line named EPI-G11 derived from epithelial tissues. With this tool in our hands, we were able to transfect and overexpress proteins of interest in order to eventually purify and study them. For your information, we use a biological ballistics delivery system (AKA gene gun) for our transfection needs because other methods are not very effective with cells of this line. For example, the viral vectors tested cannot be internalized by EPI-G11 and lipofection is too lethal. EPI-G11, like most eukaryotic cell lines, enters a phase of exponential growth when exposed to Fetal Bovine Serum. It's only half surprising that a cell line from such an exotic source should be sensitive to the growth factors present in FBS. In my opinion, this can be explained by the addition of animal genes to the genome, such as growth receptors.
Gross anatomy:
They are morphologically very similar to the grey aliens that are part of modern folklore. Their height is about 150cm, they have two arms, two legs and a head. Still, there are some notable differences.
Skin: The grey skin that is often described in folklore is in fact a biosynthetic film which, likely, serves to protect the EBO from a hostile environment. It doesn't provide effective protection against temperature changes, but it does offer adequate protection against the passage of liquids. It's possible that this film confers other advantages but my knowledge on the subject is limited. Under the grey film, the epidermis is rather white, and the texture is very regular and without any hair. We do not see any defect other than the folds near the joints. It's described as greasy in one report, but that's not something I've observed. The same report states that a strong, lingering smell of burnt hair and ammonia is present when the film is removed. There are a lot of pores on the skin, crossing from the epidermis to a gland in the hypodermis. These glands and pores are the terminal part of the excretory-sudoriferous system, which could explain the previously mentioned smell.
Head: The head contains two large, oversized eyes, two nostrils without protuberance, a narrow mouth without lips and two ear canals without auricles. There is a mandible, but the musculature is vestigial. There are no teeth or tongue in the oral cavity. The nasal cavity where the nostrils meet is compact and does not rise cranially but extends axially. There appears to be no equivalent to the olfactory bulb in the nasal cavity. The mouth leads directly to the esophagus and the nasal cavity to the trachea. The trachea and esophagus do not communicate.
Eye: Like the skin, the eyes are covered with a semi-transparent biosynthetic film that offers the same environmental protection, while providing protection against certain wavelengths and light intensity. When the film is removed, a more traditional eye is revealed. It's about three times larger than a human eye and there are no eyelids. The size of their eyes suggests they have excellent night vision. It seems paradoxical to cover them with a semi-opaque film. Perhaps they only need to wear it in a bright environment. Their sclera is the same color as their skin, the iris is pale grey, and the pupil is black and oversized. The lens is rounder than a human, and the musculature used to adjust focus is more developed. On the retina, there are at least 6 types of cone cells. The responsiveness of each of these 6 types of cone is specific to a wavelength band, with a minimum of overlap between each other. The result is a broader visible spectrum.
Ear: As mentioned, the outer ear has no auricle and the ear canal is unremarkable. The inner ear has all the characteristics of a typical vestibular and cochlear system, although the curvature of the cochlea is more pronounced than a human. This probably results in greater hearing acuity for low frequencies.
Brain: The brain is tetraspheric, i.e. composed of four major sections. The sections are separated by transverse and longitudinal fissures and are connected to the central lobe, which acts as brainstem and cerebellum. The volume of the brain is around 20% superior to that of a man of the same height. It has a much more pronounced level of gyrication than an average human. Moreover, the ratio of glial cells to neurons is also slightly higher than in humans. It is important to mention the presence of nodules on the central lobe. Histological analysis of these structures reveals a kind of intricate biological circuitry. It is speculated that these nodules are essential to interact with their technology. Consequently, determining the proteome of these structures is an absolute priority for the program.
Neck: The neck is proportionally longer than that of a human, and at the same time relatively thin. As mentioned, the esophagus and trachea are separate. There are no vocal cords in this region.
Thorax: The musculature of the thorax is underdeveloped. Muscles equivalent to the pectoralis major can be seen. We can also see the trapezius and deltoid muscles. The sternocleidomastoids are well defined. The ribs and sternum are clearly visible. There are no nipples.
Abdomen: The abdomen is wider than the thorax and bulges slightly forward. There is no navel.
Pelvis: The pelvic bones are apparent. There are no genitals or anus.
Hands and feets: Their hands have four digits, including an opposable thumb on the medial side. They have no nails, and the texture of their fingerprints is composed of concentric circles. Fingers are proportionally much longer than in humans. Unlike humans, finger musculature is entirely intrinsic to the hand. In other words, the muscles used to move the fingers are not in the forearms but entirely located in the hands. At first glance, the feet consist of just two digits, but a necropsy soon determined that each toe was made of two fused digits. The medial toe is marginally longer than the distal toe. The feet are relatively longer and narrower than in a human. Their musculature, however, is vestigial.
The EBOs endoskeleton is very similar to ours, at least in terms of composition. There's collagen, hydroxyapatite but also copper oxide crystals where marrow would normally be found. The role of these crystals has not been established, but it is not a crystalopathic condition. The blood cells of the myeloid lineage (or the equivalent for these creatures) therefore mature in a different location than in humans i.e. in the thymus like organ. A transverse section of the bone reveals osteon and osteocytes. There appear to be few osteoblasts and no osteoclasts. This indicates that the bones are no longer growing and cannot absorb the minerals present or adapt mechanically to changes in posture.
Biological system:
Respiratory system: Their cellular respiration is equivalent to ours, i.e. they need to oxidize organic components to produce energy. Their lungs have no reciprocating action, but rather have a unidirectional flow of air, similar to those seen in birds, which is more efficient than ours. It is speculated that this is in response to the brain's elevated metabolic needs. Vocalization is produced by vibration of the wall membrane at the junction between the two air sacs.
The Circulatory system of EBOs is rather analogous to ours. The heart is located in the mediastanum, but in a more medial position, directly beneath the sternum. The heart has two ventricles and two atria. There is an aorta, a pulmonary vein, a pulmonary artery and a vena cava. Blood flowing to the pulmonary capillaries via the pulmonary artery is pumped against the flow of air, maximizing gas exchange efficiency. The blood gas barrier is relatively narrow in these capillaries, at least compared to a human. Then oxygen-rich blood is returned to the heart and then expelled into the aorta and the rest of the body. Before returning to the heart, the blood will pass through the hepatorenal organ which, among other things, filters and controls osmotic pressure of the blood.
The blood itself is also analogous to that of a human. However, the proportion of plasma is much higher, albumin is in similar proportion ,hormone levels are much lower, metal ion levels are much higher (particularly copper) and glucose levels are significantly higher. The color of the blood is brownish, given the higher proportion of plasma and concentration of metal ions. On the cellular side, there are erythrocytes which, in addition to hemoglobin for binding oxygen, display several complexes capable of binding copper ions. It's not clear what role these copper ions play but we believe it neutralizes blood ammonia, among other things. Several cell types with leukocyte characteristics have been observed, but no comprehensive knowledge of them exists. Platelets are present, but in smaller proportions than in humans.
Excreto-sudoriferous system: This system is completely different from what I've seen. As mentioned earlier, there is no large orifice, like an anus or urethra, to get rid of biological waste. Instead, there are countless small pores on the surface of the skin. There's a large medial organ called the hepatorenal organ, which acts as both kidney and liver and is central to maintaining homeostasis. This organ is highly vascularized and the blood must pass through it before returning to the heart. Its role is, among other things, to purify the blood of metabolic waste. Waste is excreted into the equivalent of a ureter, which branches out into four. Each branch flows towards one of the four limbs and in turn these branches divide until they end up as thousands of excretory pores. The motility of this excretory system is mediated by a weak peristalsis at the proximal level and on the four main branches. Peristalsis ceases around the first distal junction. As there is no urea cycle, the ammonia concentration at the exit of the hepatorenal organ is very high. This ammonia is carried to the pores and gives the distinct odor I mentioned earlier. The rationale behind this unusual excretory system is directly related to this excreted ammonia, which enables thermoregulation by evaporating on the skin's surface. The greater the physical effort, the greater the metabolism. This in turn leads to a rise in temperature, and a corresponding increase in metabolic waste via amino acid catabolism. This leads to an increase in filtration and ammonia excretion, which ultimately lowers body temperature.
Digestive system: The digestive system is extremely underdeveloped. There's no there is no stomach in the familiar sense. However, there is a pseudo-stomach located at the transition between the thoracic and abdominal cavities. This organ is not involved in digestion, but only serves as a reservoir. A sphincter controls the flow of food into the intestine. The intestine is limited to the equivalent of our small intestine, i.e. it only serves to absorb liquids and nutrients and acts as the main digestion site. It has villi and microvilli like ours. The intestine ends in the hepato-renal organ, where non-digested matter is transported to the ureter and excretory system. Residues are dissolved in the ammonia of metabolic waste for excretion. There's an organ near the pseudostomachal sphincter that secretes digestive enzymes directly into the intestine. This organ is inspirationally called the digestive organ. It secretes mainly proteolytic enzymes and glycoside hydrolases.
Given the absence of teeth, the narrowness and rigidity of the esophagus, the absence of a true stomach and the absence of defecation, it is strongly believed that EBOs can only consume food in liquid form. It is assumed that, given the high metabolic needs of their brains, this food would have a high carbohydrate concentration. In order to meet other metabolic needs, there must also be a high protein content in the food consumed. These two statements are supported by the type of enzyme secreted by the digestive organ. It is therefore speculated that the food consumed is a sort of broth rich in sugar and protein, which probably also has a high copper content. Given the strict limitations on the type of food that they can consume, it's unlikely that this type of creature could survive in our biosphere without technological support.
Endocrine system: Knowledge of the endocrine system is minimal. We know that cells are receptive to bovine growth hormones, so it's assumed that certain functions are regulated by such a system. Endocrine mechanisms are very complex, and it goes without saying that they are best studied on living subjects.
Immune system: The immune system is another unknown. There seems to be an innate immune system but there doesn't seem to be any adaptive immunity, at least not similar to what is known. There's a thymus-like organ near the heart that's proportionally larger than in humans. This organ seems to be where all blood cells mature. Some cells have leukocyte characteristics such as granularity. The immune cells that germinate here have a high copper concentration. The surface receptors of innate immune cells have not yet been characterized, so we might as well say that all the work remains to be done.
Nervous system: The nervous system is also relatively similar. The spinal cord begins at the base of the central lobe of the brain and propagates down the vertebral column. In the vertebrae there are ganglia made of afferent and efferent neurons. In short, other than the CNS, there is nothing out of the ordinary.
Musculoskeletal system: The musculoskeletal system is very ordinary, albeit underdeveloped. Most of the human skeletal muscles have an equivalent. Only the hands, feet and forearms are different. It should be noted that the proportion of type 1 and type 2 muscle fibers is different from that in a human. Indeed, type 1 outnumbers type 2 by about a factor of 10.
Artificial system: We speculate that artificial molecular machines may be present in the body, and that copper, if present, would be essential to their function or assembly. Importantly, no AMMs have been observed.
Follow up:
Question 1: Amazing story. Have you shared this with the Senate Select Commission on Intelligence or with AARO and do you have evidence to back this up?
Thank you, no I haven't and no I won't. It sounds like a honey trap to me. I will not place my life in the hands of politicians. I have no proof other than this message. I know it's not much but it's what I'm prepared to offer
Question 2: Well that was a read ... So they are bio engineered worker bees... Any elemental components that are unutributal to our biome ?
Yes, knowing that they're disposable, unable to live independently without technological support, and that they're ephemeral. The only suitable hypothesis is that they are alive only to accomplish their task. Can you clarify your question about elemental components?
Question 3: I havent read everything in detail but can you expend on the document on their religion?
EBOs believe that the soul is not an extension of the individual, but rather a fundamental characteristic of nature that expresses itself as a field, not unlike gravity. In the presence of life, this field acquires complexity, resulting in negative entropy if that makes sense. This gain in complexity is directly correlated with the concentration of living organisms in a given location. With time, and with the right conditions, life in turn becomes more complex until the appearance of sentient life. After reaching this threshold, the field begins to express itself through these sentient beings, forming what we call the soul. Through their life experiences, sentient beings will in turn influence the field in a sort of positive feedback loop. This in turn further accelerates the complexity of the field. Eventually, when the field reaches a "critical mass", there will be a sort of apotheosis. It's not clear what this means in practical terms, but this quest for apotheosis seems to be the EBOs main motivation.
The author of the document added his reflections and interpretations as an appendix. He specified that, for them, the soul field is not a belief but an obvious truth. He also argues that the soul loses its individuality after death, but that memory and experience persist as part of the field. This fact would influence the philosophy and culture of EBOs, resulting in a society that doesn't fear death but which places no importance or reverence on individuality. This "belief" compels them to seed life, shape it, nurture it, monitor it and influence it for the ultimate purpose of creating this apotheosis. Paradoxically, they have little or no respect for an individual's well-being.
Please be advised that I'm speaking from memory of something I read more than 10 years ago, so take the following with a grain of salt. Also, I'm not a philosopher or an artist, so please excuse my struggle to properly formulate the concepts and my dry terminology. Finally, note that this information comes from a document whose author was directly interacting with an EBO. It is not specified whether it was an ambassador, a crash survivor, a prisoner. The means of communication were not specified either.
Question 4: Wtf he dropped the location of the lab
Battelle National Biodefense Institute. It is on google map
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Track The Way To Find Best House Removal Service
Different people relocate for a variety of reasons. While some do it owing to a lack of room in their current home, others do it for academic and official reasons. Moving to a new location, for whatever reason, is not an easy task. Aside from dealing with all of the legalities, there is also the issue of moving products and other items to the new home.
Recognizing the importance of Removals near me
Always consider the amount of physical and mental labour required to relocate the items of your home. You can pack your own belongings. Transferring them in and out of carriage trailers or up and down the stairway, on the other hand, could be extremely taxing. This is especially true if you need to leave your current residence as soon as possible. If you have a lot of precious objects, such as fragile antiques or furniture, it's best to hire a Removalist near me to take the stress off your shoulders. That way, you may concentrate on sorting the remaining items.
Collect several quotes
Consider getting quotations from different Removals Geelong firms before deciding on one. Think about the cost, the services supplied by the company, and the time it takes them to do the project. Larger and more reputable organisations also provide packing services, so you can rest assured that all will be well. Many Removalist Geelong can provide you with an immediate price online; nonetheless, it is best to have a comprehensive evaluation of the company.
Improve your patience.
The quotation procedure could take several weeks, and picking an appropriate date could take even longer. Allow yourself ample time to find a reputable removal company; don't make a hasty decision. Bear in mind that House removals Geelong firms are in high demand, so you should start looking for a reputable company as soon as possible.
Make a plan for everything.
Someone wise once remarked, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." As a result, it is critical to plan everything ahead of time. If feasible, provide the agency with information on your new home's location and layout so they understand what to expect when they arrive. Will the furniture, for example, fit through the doors? Is there another way to get there?
They will also inquire whether you have something of exceptional value. If this is the case, they will request that you disclose them. You may also create an inventory of high-value objects that will be tied to your contract, and you'll be compensated for these if they are lost, stolen, damaged, or ruined, and yet only up to the maximum protection level you choose.
Another situation in which you must report value is when shipping a large object such as a spa, car, or truck. When moving certain valuables for you, House removalist Geelong can charge a premium. If you ship an automobile, they may only assume responsibility for any outward destruction done by the hauler and they will not accept liability for any things in the car or vehicle.
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Cost-cutting measures for your life insurance policy
Online shopping is advantageous because it is quick, convenient, and confidential. Occasionally, you may find yourself purchasing a product you know little about. For the majority of individuals, life insurance fulfills the bill. As long as you know what to look for, purchasing an excellent and reasonably priced life insurance plan is not difficult. Here are nine life insurance cost-saving strategies.
1. Choose term insurance over permanent coverage
There are a few instances where permanent life insurance is required, most notably if you have a complex estate or dependents with particular needs. The majority of individuals, however, only require a standard term policy, which has a fixed expiration date, no cash value component, and is far less expensive. Obtain a second opinion from a knowledgeable financial adviser if you are pressured to choose permanent insurance. Here is a guide to determining if you need term or permanent life insurance.
2. Acquire earlier rather than later
The cost of life insurance increases with age, and the number of insurers willing to work with you may decrease based on your medical history. If you require life insurance, now is the time to get it.
3. Work with an agent capable of obtaining rates from multiple insurers.
Why: It will save you time because you won’t have to get quotes from multiple insurance firms. (You can rapidly compare life insurance rates across insurers here.) In addition, an expert agent or broker can determine which insurers are most accommodating to consumers based on their health history and profile (more on this in a sec).
4. Do not waste time comparing brokers
Why: Put, brokers, and agents cannot undercut rates online or in person. Prices for life insurance are regulated, so the cost an independent broker displays for MetLife is the exact pricing you would see everywhere, including if you approached MetLife directly. If you find a broker you like, you should stick with that person. Otherwise, comparing brokers will be largely ineffective and a waste of time.
5. Disclose all health concerns in advance
Why: By being honest about your health history, you will receive the most accurate quotes and avoid unpleasant surprises in the future. Even if you do not believe the condition to be significant, such as slightly elevated blood pressure that does not require medication or sleep apnea, it is likely to be identified during the underwriting process and could affect your premium. There’s an additional reason to report everything immediately. If so, your agent can pair you with the most competitive insurance. Some insurers are more tolerant of diabetes or a family history of cancer, for instance.
6. Quit smoking
It will save you a great deal of money. Seriously: According to a recent Policygenius analysis of the healthiest states, smoking significantly influenced life insurance rates (342 percent increase). If you get life insurance as a smoker and then stop, you can request requalification for nonsmoker rates after you’ve been tobacco-free for at least a year. You will have to repeat the medical exam, but you will likely save a substantial amount of money. Regarding which…
7. Submit to a medical exam
We understand that this sounds like a hassle, but (a) the paramedical test isn’t that horrible, and (b) choosing a non-medical exam will cost you. Insurers must account for the increased risk of not having a complete health profile, so premiums for these products are often higher from the get-go — even if you’re in good condition. You should take the exam, improve your health, and then retest a year after the insurance has been in place to determine whether your insurer would reduce your premiums. (Many will if your test results demonstrate a substantial improvement.)
8. Pay yearly
We recognize that it’s easier said than done. However, if you manage a year’s worth of payments, you’ll save money, as insurers impose additional fees for monthly payments. Some companies offer annual payment reductions of up to 8 percent, which can add up.
9. Look for a level premium guarantee
Why: This is a clever way of saying that the policy’s premiums will not increase during the term. Purchasing life insurance when you’re older is more expensive. However, by purchasing young and obtaining a guaranteed level term policy, you can immediately average the cost of those later years. This will save you from having to pay higher rates in the future.
Our complimentary insurance checkup tool is the simplest method to determine how much coverage you need if you are unsure. We choose the best amount of insurance to purchase based on your present financial and family condition and your future objectives. In addition, we do not make cold calls or share your information, so you are free to use the results as you see fit.
Sheryll Gonzales
August 18, 2022
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