The saga continues

Sonic Prime!

The first eight episodes of Sonic Prime are out! I've been busy for obvious reasons this past week (I kinda released a video game), but I've now seen all eight episodes, and as such can give more structured thoughts on them.

Overall: pretty good! I like it! ...But it's not 100% there yet for me. In the spirit of Festivus, I'm here to air my grievances.

Let's start with one of the highest points. First and foremost, this show looks great. We FINALLY have a Sonic cartoon that actually looks like the games with no asterisks attached, even across multiple wildly different AUs. And everything from small acting choices to big, bombastic fight scenes is a joy to watch in motion thanks to the fluid, expressive, fast-paced movement, with characters pleasantly squashing and stretching in fun ways. It's so fun literally to just watch Sonic's face move in dialogue scenes. God, I wish the cutscenes in Frontiers had animation this good. I get why they don't, but still.

And those action sequences! Man, some of these are the most fun fight scenes in any Sonic cartoon ever, period. Lots of great shot choices, a good mix of recognizable moves from the games combined with new ones and improvisations, I could go on and on. The shot of Sonic leaping backwards down that long stairwell, only for the camera to pan around beneath him and show his friends following suit? There's a reason why they put that in the trailer. It rules. This isn't the greatest action series ever - it still has your typical kids' action cartoon problem where the stakes rarely feel adequately high and you can turn your brain off during fight scenes - but it's fun to look at in a way that previous Sonic cartoons haven't always been.

Really, with how strong the presentation is, it's the writing that tends to let the show down in this first batch of episodes. The writing isn't even bad - there's some really cool stuff to latch onto, and I'm optimistic about them leaning more into what's interesting as the plot continues to develop. It's just... well, it's a Man of Action cartoon.

I'm going to nitpick a lot here, so I want it to be perfectly clear that I like Sonic Prime. I think it's a solid cartoon, and firmly on the high end of the Sonic cartoon spectrum. There's a lot that I'm into, and if someone told me it was their new favorite Sonic cartoon, I could absolutely see why. It mainly just has three things working against it:

It can't decide whether or not it actually wants to be wholeheartedly faithful to the games.

It was very clearly written to be a weekly TV show and not a Netflix show dumped in large batches.

The bar has been VERY high for Sonic content this year across every other medium.

Faithfulness to the games

As has been touted in interviews, Sonic Prime is actually canon to the games, and in many ways it's slavishly faithful to them. Which only makes it weirder when it isn't.

The thing that'll immediately stand out is the new voice cast they had to get because Canadian production laws blah blah blah. Now, they're all good here, particularly Deven Mack as Sonic. His take definitely sounds similar to previous takes on Sonic, but I think he manages to find a nice middle point between the youthful enthusiasm of movie Sonic and the more experienced heroics of game/IDW Sonic. He's great. And not to knock Cindy's performances, but I think Shannon Chan-Kent's voice might actually fit Amy just a liiiiittle better here. But the problem is it gets harder to view this as the regular game cast and alternate timeline versions of them when everyone always sounds a little off. Knuckles in particular is really weird because his AU counterparts have a completely different voice actor, and neither particularly sounds like his current voice in the games. I have no idea why.

For another example, Green Hill is used as a setting in a cartoon for the first time ever, and it looks exactly how you remember it. Cool! But it's also framed as the place where Sonic and all of his friends live 24/7, which has never, ever been true in the games. Even Knuckles is here with no explanation for why he isn't guarding the Master Emerald. (One might think that not drawing attention to Knuckles' job allows the writers to just pretend it doesn't exist, similar to what Sega does in many games, but then we get a literal 16-bit flashback to him guarding the Master Emerald in Hidden Palace.)

This would be a totally fine concession if this show was just doing its own thing like every other Sonic cartoon. The different universes are all different bad timelines for Green Hill, with Sonic spotting the unique iconography of the level buried beneath whatever's taken over South Island this time - a smog-filled Eggman city, an overgrown jungle, an abnormally high sea level - to drive home how wrong the AUs are. It also explains why Sonic can always find the AU versions of his friends in Green Hill, and it probably cut down on the number of sets they had to model. But because it is canon to the games, things like this distract me as a hopeless Sonic nerd. It also leads to some repetitive dialogue in the first few episodes as characters constantly comment on the presence or lack thereof of palm trees, because their only reference for what the world is supposed to look like is Green Hill.

Rings are also treated as a minor plot point early on to incorporate another thing from the games, as Sonic is late for the big battle against Eggman because he was off collecting extra rings. But despite how often it's brought up in that context, they aren't actually a factor in the fight at all, and then rings are never seen again in the AUs.

Also Orbot and Cubot are in this in the regular universe and then we never see them again? Are they going to come back??

This extends beyond these pedantic nitpicks, though. To me, the worst offender of the show selectively choosing when to care about the source material is the dichotomy of the character writing in the alternate universes.

Every AU will have one or two takes on one of Sonic's friends (Tails, Amy, Knuckles, Rouge, and Big) who are The Interesting Ones, the spotlighted characters for each subplot. These are the ones that get actual character arcs, and they feel like they're written in conversation with their original game counterparts in interesting ways.

In the dystopian world, Tails is known as Nine, a cynical loner inventor who was never saved from his bullies and inspired to be a hero by Sonic - but who, when pushed, is still a good kid deep down. In the jungle world, Amy is the extremist Thorn Rose who rides around on a giant Flicky like it's a chocobo and prevents foragers from "stealing" from the forest, possibly riffing on her bond with the Flickies in SA1. She's still looking out for the little guy, she's just doing so at the expense of everyone else. And in the pirate world, Knuckles is the captain Dread Knuckles, who instead of diligently guarding a magic rock was a pirate obsessed with obtaining a magic rock, and who swore off of that quest (and fighting in general) after it cost him the trust of his original crew.

These characters and their interactions with Sonic are all fun - Nine in particular provided a lot of my favorite emotional moments so far - and it feels like it gets at why you would do a multiverse story like this in the first place. You get to examine the characters from other angles! It's just that then there's... the rest. Characters who aren't the focus will just kind of get inserted into roles as Man of Action rests on broad cartoon tropes instead of actually doing anything with the Sonic source material. The dystopia of New Yolk City feels like a good fit given the history of the franchise, but then the other two worlds we've seen so far rely largely on stock "tribal" tropes and pirates going yaarrrrr.

I'm biased, but the worst off here seems to be Rouge, who has yet to get her spotlight universe (assuming she gets one next). This really stings because she's spot on in the regular universe. She hasn't been retconned to be part of Team Sonic, she's invited herself over because she's got her eye on the Paradox Prism (even dropping in unannounced at Tails' workshop). She's got a bit of that playfulness that makes her so fun, and the animation is able to lean into it. But then you go to the other universes and it's all gone.

Pirate Rouge is pretty fun, I'll admit, but I'm shocked they don't play up her love of gems there. Rebel Rouge (yes that is her literal name, the other rebels call her Rebel) gets to be a spy with a fun dynamic with Knuckles at first, but it quickly devolves into her just being the serious, responsible girlboss leading the rebellion who acts as a straight man to Sonic's snark. In other words, she's a lot like... Sally? I hate making that comparison because SatAM/Archie fans have been derisively comparing literally every new female character in the franchise to Sally since the '90s, but it's really hard to shake. (Similarly, it's hard to shake comparisons to Bunnie and Mecha Sally with Rusty Rose, the evil cyborg version of Amy with extendable limbs.) And Rouge's jungle universe counterpart ("Prim Rouge") is also just kind of there as the no-nonsense leader of the tribe, similar to Rebel.

And it's in scenes revolving around the blander of the AU characters when I'm like... man, I kinda wish they'd just made a show about the regular game universe without having to watch Man of Action bust out the pirate joke book and write the dollar store version of Princess Mononoke. I want to spend more time with the actual characters. Because they nailed the tiny glimpses of the game world that we got. This isn't a constant thought I have - again, I like the show, and the major AU characters are cool, and I like seeing new things be done with Sonic. But I'd be lying if I said I never wished the show had gone a different way. My perfect Sonic cartoon continues to elude me...

Story construction

Let's back up a bit and describe the basic premise. On the regular version of Sonic's Earth, things are business as usual, although Sonic seems to be getting a little too cocky and taking his friends for granted. During a fight with Eggman, Sonic accidentally shatters our new macguffin, the Paradox Prism, creating a series of new bad timelines in which he never existed. In that way, I might almost compare it to a multiverse-hopping adventure version of It's A Wonderful Life. A pretty solid emotional throughline to give the show a little more heft. In each of these worlds, Sonic helps set things right with the alternate versions of his friends and finds another shard of the Paradox Prism in an attempt to restore his world. He also usually faces off with the Chaos Council, a team of five alternate Eggmen who are all different ages.

Beyond the fact that there are like five versions of most characters, it's not THAT complicated, especially in a time when damn near everything in pop culture is doing multiverse shenanigans. Which is why it's frustrating that the script seems to think it's fucking House of Leaves.

For the first few episodes, Sonic has a VERY hard time grasping the fact that he's in an alternate universe. This is to be expected to some extent - Sonic is our point of view character through all of this, and it's a kids' show, so he's got to go through a process of figuring things out so that it can be explained to the kids at home. The problem is that it takes him damn near the entire first mini-arc in New Yolk City to figure it out, which starts to come off as insulting and leads to EXTREMELY repetitive dialogue where Sonic wonders why his friends don't remember him and where all the palm trees went. You'd think that by the time Nine explains that his personal history is completely different from how Sonic remembers his time with Tails he'd get a clue, but no, not really. He continues to meet alternate versions of his friends, stubbornly refer to them with their original names, and wonder why no one remembers their previous adventures together. This then somehow even continues into the second universe, the jungle one, where he somehow thinks he's still in New Yolk City and wonders why the cyberpunk rebel versions of his friends are all covered in leaves and wielding spears now. Thankfully, by the time he reaches the pirate world Sonic finally gets a clue, so this isn't a pattern that's going to continue. But it does make the first few episodes a drag.

This, the many recaps, and the out-of-order presentation of scenes back in Green Hill so that they can have a flashback to the regular universe in every episode for context really make it clear that this series was written for TV, not for Netflix. It's assuming that every single episode is going to be some 7-year-old's first episode and that they need to have everything explained again. I'd probably be a bit more sympathetic towards this repetitive, patronizing writing if it actually was airing on Cartoon Network, rather than being a Netflix show where they're dropping eight episodes at a time.

Stiff competition

This is the least fair of my complaints, but I gotta say it. As solid as Sonic Prime is for the most part, it looks worse at the tail end of a year when we've been FEASTING as Sonic fans.

We got a movie sequel that pivoted HARD into game elements, giving us both really great takes on the characters and interesting remixes of old ideas. The IDW comics are still going as strong as ever, with the continually compelling arc of new villains Surge and Kit and now the wildly inventive and downright beautiful to look at Scrapnik Island. And, of course, we got Frontiers, a return to form for the series that adapts it to a semi-open world with the best and most interesting story we've had in god knows how many years.

And then we've got Sonic Prime, a pretty good cartoon that between fun action scenes and interesting story ideas frequently relies on genre pastiches that were tired 30 years ago and jokes that aren't particularly funny.

I think reading Scrapnik Island #3 really put this into perspective for me. Which, again, isn't fair. The comics target older kids and are ALWAYS heavily tied to established continuity, and a comic miniseries can afford to go way more niche than a Netflix show. But Scrapnik is just doing such amazing and original things, bringing back long-forgotten elements of the games and recontextualizing them in fascinating ways. That mix of both the heartwarming sight of the Scrapniks finding happiness in their new lives and the EXTREMELY atmospheric horror aboard the ruins of the Death Egg. It rules! It takes elements hardcore fans wanted to see again and tells a totally new story with them that's unlike anything we've seen before in the franchise. It's really, really hard for "what if Knuckles was a pirate" to compete with that.

But we're still early in Prime. Things are getting more interesting over time, with Sonic acclimating to the dimension hopping and more crossover between the different universes. Nine discovering a completely dead, empty world and wanting to start from scratch there was also really interesting, and I'm curious if that goes anywhere. Again, I've been nitpicking a lot, but the show is pretty good and I've enjoyed my time with it overall. I just don't quite think it's 100% there yet. But I definitely think it could get there within the next 16 episodes.

Misc thoughts

Rouge sleeping like an actual bat is cute.

I like that the environmental themes of the series are such a big focus here! They fall to the wayside too often

I like that the AU characters have different names for the sake of telling them apart, but some of them are pretty bad (the aforementioned Rebel Rouge) while others I just don't get. Why is the old man Eggman named Dr. Done It? Why is the teenage one Dr. Don't?

I thought the scene where Sonic was trying to talk to the New Yolk City crew after a battle and they had to keep ducking under a laser that was still slowly circling the room was funny

The new shoes and gloves are ugly and I think it's really contrived that they magically transform into the perfect tools for every new universe

Between this and Frontiers it's becoming a pattern that Tails and Knuckles can get explicit flashbacks to previous games to highlight their histories with Sonic, while Amy can't. I don't know what to make of this

Thorn is pretty good overall but I do think the flashback depicting her as just randomly snapping one day when her friends pick one too many berries is so hokey that it wraps around to being kinda funny

I've neglected to mention Shadow, but I like him okay in this. It's definitely modern Shadow, but I think "hardass, no-nonsense rival who thinks Sonic is an idiot who acts without thinking and thus wants to kick his ass" is a decent place for Shadow to be in, compared to just The Vegeta, even if it's not my favorite version of the character. I'm curious to see what his role is in the rest of the show, especially given the cliffhanger, and hope he's able to work together with Sonic instead of just being a pissed off antagonist the whole time.

I hate baby Eggman

Got tagged by @persnickety-doodles as @lokfinest - Surprise! New handle just in time for the [Lunar] New Year lol

Thank you, Alicia🤗

nine people you want to get to know better

Last Song:

I’ve mostly been listening to instrumental music lately but the last song I listened to, is a parody song about the Twilight series of movies called ‘I Hate This Town’ by Gabi Belle (Gabi Balls on Spotify), it’s super catchy, a total banger if you ask me, and the lyrics are hilarious af! 🤣

If you’re in the mood for a laugh, please look it up on Spotify or better yet, watch the end of her video because the song has its own video clip and it’s incredible!

Favorite Color:

Short answer - Blue, Green and Gray.

Long answer - Blue (from #1f75fe to darker shades), most shades of Green, Gray (steel, iron, charcoal) but also, Red, Brown and White. This was one of the hard ones to answer😅

I also love Pink, tho, Amy Rose (all versions of her) is to blame 😛​

 Last Movie/Show:

Movie - The Boy and The Heron

I went to watched it on my first day of vacation. Coincidentally, it was also my birthday and I invited my mom (she’s not big on going to the movies but luckily she was interested on that one) we had a good time! And had coffee afterwards😊​

Last Show – as a casual watch, an episode of Bull. The last show I watched in a meaningful manner was the 3th Season of Sonic Prime - I don’t watch much tv nowadays, tbh.

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Ah! I can’t answer this one😩​

It all depends on my mood, really. I love spicy food, savory is great (especially homemade) although, I am picky with sweets - Cholate, Ice Cream and anything Custard Cream are my Gold, Silver and Bronze but the list goes on lol  

Last Thing I searched:

SEGA font (I can’t recall what for 🤔) ​

Current obsession:

Shockingly, stuff I’d love to draw, if only I had the skill and wasn’t so scatterbrained, atm *sigh* ‘What Was Stolen’ by Beeextraordinary and video games (I’m on my last week of vacation before I go back to work so, yeah)

I’m currently going back and forth between Sonic Unleashed (for the eighth-ish time) and 2008’s Dead Space (first time ever playing, so far is frightening as heck, yet, fun)  

Last Book:

I’m embarrassed to say I don’t remember…mainly because while I love to read, most stuff I’ve read as of late aren't books per se…some articles here and there and tons of wiki entries.

Last Fic:

Again, ‘What Was Stolen’, every update leaves me hanging on a thread wanting more…

Looking Forward To:

Unironically, the Summer to end. On a happier note, after watching the trailer for it, the Knuckles miniseries.

I haven't been on here much (hence the changes around my tumblr) but I'll tag: @e-vay, @sherrydoodlez, @beeextraordinary123

You guys can skip it if you're not in the mood. It's alright!👋

Okay, my interpretation (and theories) of the new Sonic Prime trailer:

The Prism is shattered, sending each of the team into a different world (dimension?), and Sonic lands in at least one in which no one knows who he is.

The world in which each friend lands doesn't have a version of them. That's why no one knows Sonic. (And we don't know yet if NONE of the dimensions know him, or if just the one doesn't.) Possibly there's a time dilation too, sending the friends back in time, meaning that whichever dimension his friends landed in could allow that friend the opportunity to assume a leadership role in a rebellion to stand against Eggman. (Or the friend has lost their memory thanks to the trip through dimensional rifts.)

The glow around Sonic's shoes indicates his connection with his original world (Prime). Over the course of the series, the light will fade, indicating that unless he can fix the mess he caused, (possibly finding the broken shards of the shattered Prism in each dimension) then his tether to his Prime world will be severed and he'll never be able to return.

Shadow is back in the original world and has somehow managed to contact Sonic, and will offer help in whatever way possible to get everything fixed.

We don't know if Prime Eggman was sent to a different dimension, too. There's no indication he was, but also no indication he wasn't. He could theoretically be back on Prime, and is the one helping Shadow return things to normal, as the shattered Prism caused some cataclysmic disaster on Prime that threatens their entire universe. We've seen Eggman help Team Sonic to fix things, in both the comics and Boom (although I know Boom isn't exactly indicative of normal Eggman behavior).

Sonic must gain the trust of his friends in each dimension, and defeat Eggman (or whatever evil) to secure the Prism shards before he can hope to restore the Prism and return home.

Or I could be completely wrong. We'll see in less than a month!

Hi, I can relate. Just feeling down atm ): Many, many problems going on. I haven't send an ask to anyone in agessss. Hmm. I guess my question would be - what are your thoughts on the new Sonic Prime trailer? I've been a fan of Boom since it was first announced but I will always love Boom. A guy can balance multiple (yet similar) favourite shows! :)

hi, thanks for writing in!! ......why did i type that i sound like a podcaster doing a q&a session

anyway i was pretty excited to just have something after months of not getting anything, so even if it was short and still a teaser rather than an actual trailer, i really liked it!! the visuals, animation, and fight choreography are sick and i already ADORE deven mack as sonic <3 ive also always been a sucker for stories about multiple universes so im just really looking forward to prime in general

though im going to go off on a bit of a tangent here so dont read if you dont want to hear this: ive been growing weary of shadow discourse for a while but this teaser was really the catalyst to me realizing just how much i fucking hate all the arguments that surround his character! id be lying if i said that certain peoples reactions werent a major factor contributing to the already shitty week i was having. inb4 im not trying to disrespect anyone or their opinions whatever they may be so please dont take this as a personal attack but i truly despise how sonic and shadow cant fight for 5 seconds on screen (with no context!) without this widespread panic that hes just going to be a pointless rival. you know, even though he and sonic have always fought? because their personalities clash? because they have different methods of handling problems that arise? theyve BEEN fighting aklsdjflas the only time shadow fought sonic just to spite him was in boom and boom!shadow does not count. say what you want about boom!shadow but he does. not. count. other medias like sonic x and idw all had them fight with actual stakes involved which is perfectly fine and normal and how conflict usually works

at this point i just want sega to come out and explain their entire agenda with shadow post-06 is (as well as how they see him in comparison to everything before that) like i know thats not gonna happen and obviously it wont stop people from disagreeing with the direction theyve taken him in (and again its fine if they do), but at least everyone could finally be on the same page. because with the way things currently are, theres no way someone can give their opinion on how they perceive shadows character (no matter what it is or how much evidence they have to back it up) without being called media illiterate by people who have just as easily disputable interpretations. i personally would love to talk extensively about how i see him and explain why that is the case but i wont because i dont want annoying people setting off my anxiety by accusing me of not understanding the fictional hedgehog <333

(yes i know this applies to pretty much all of the sonic characters at this point but shadows the big one and also relevant dont @ me)

#533 - Zaslav Has Chosen His Feige

In Ep. 533, Scott, Sam and I cover James Gunn’s position at DC Studios, Henry Cavill leaving The Witcher, the Sonic Prime teaser trailer, and more! FOLLOW/SUPPORT SCOTT & SAM: @pandanime (Scott's Twitter) @LazyGamingGuys (LGG Twitter) LazyGamingGuys' Channel (YouTube) Ronin Council (SoundCloud) @samuelboylston (Sam's Instagram) As always, we appreciate your constructive Feedback, Suggestions, and Questions. You can also leave us an audio question on SpeakPipe. Thank you for the continued love and support! Enjoy the show. Daniel and Kelli Podcast Awards 2019 || Games & Hobbies (Winner) Podcast Awards 2017 - 2018, 2020 - 2022 || Games & Hobbies (Nominated) Official Site SUBSCRIBE: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts / Stitcher / iHeartRadio / TuneIn / Overcast FOLLOW US: - Twitter | @ReasonsImBroke, @PalpaKelli, and @TRIBPod - Instagram - Pinterest - Tumblr - Discord Lounge - YouTube Channel SUPPORT THE POD: Getting $1's worth of entertainment and information each month? Support us on Patreon or visit our TeePublic storefront! SPREAD THE WORD: If you're enjoying the show, please head over to iTunes and leave us a rating and a review! Each one helps new Brokettes discover the podcast. Donate to Hero Initiative to help comic creators in need. CREDITS: Opening/Closing Jingles - Alex Scott Show Logo By - Opanaldiova

The latest episode of The Reasons I'm Broke Podcast!

SONIC RANGERS, EVERYTHING WE KNOW ABOUT IT, LINK FOR ALL SOURCES AT THE END

Ok, the time has come. I spent my entire day doing some searches on the 4chan website, picking and trying to find every nugget of information I could find that I was 100% sure it was connected to Sonic Rangers.

I’ll get this right out of the gate: I’m 95% sure the next main Sonic game will be open world, and what will follow is all my evidence towards it. It’ll be uncharted territory for the Sonic franchise, and we’ll need to see how it pays off.

Also, spoilers for Sonic Rangers, but kind of broad ones, so in my opinion, your experience wouldn’t be ruined if you read all of this. But if you’re one of those that want to go 100% blind, then I think the time to jump off this ship is now.

Here we go.

As it turns out, as I did some digging of my own, and thanks to other observant people, I can confirm that the “Sonic Rangers” name has been circulating on the Internet way, WAY before the accidental leak revealed on May 27th. I will show an entire timeline of these discoveries, and how they connect.

But okay, before we dive in, a general vision of Sonic Rangers: the game will take a brand new approach with the character, placing Sonic in an open world for him to explore. Where through his speed, he’ll do platforming challenges, do puzzles, fight against badniks, etc. When fighting against enemies, the player gains XP, that can be used to give Sonic different abilities. Spread through this world are bosses, where after you defeat them, Sonic obtains orbs, and when enough of them are gathered, Sonic can enter Special Stages, that are structured like a Sonic Generations/Sonic Unleashed boost level. When you complete them, you get a Chaos Emerald.

Ok, now let’s go to the 4chan leaks. From what I can tell, SEGA has been inviting different test groups to testplay their next main Sonic game, under a strict NDA. After it, SEGA collects feedback from the testers. I can’t exactly pinpoint when SEGA began to do these tests, but if I had to guess, it has been around as early as March 2020.

1st Occurrence

In July 2020, another fake leak claiming to be the 30th anniversary game showed up on 4chan, but then, as an answer to it, a person that has really played a test version of the next main Sonic game called the fake leaker out. The person that has put their hands on the next main Sonic game had the following to say:

“I playtested the game back in march and played it for an hour. There were no levels just an overworld. You’re full of s***.”

In another post, the person that got their hands on the testing version of the next main Sonic game, had the following to say:

“It was called Sonic Rangers when I played it.”

1st Occurrence analysis

I believe that the person that played the test version of Sonic Rangers has erroneously interpreted the open world as an overworld, which makes sense. Sonic Rangers name gets dropped for the first time.

2nd Occurrence

In August of 2020, another person that played a test version of Sonic Rangers, stated the following about the next title on the Sonic series:

“It’s not an adventure remake. I playtested it. They ARE working on something, but if they take feedback me and the other panelists gave them, SEGA might change quite a bit from what I ended up playing.

Open World

Set on a gloomy, grassy, uninhabited island dotted with ruins.

Big BOTW influence, little korok-like puzzles scattered everywhere.

Robot/alien bosses scattered throughout the island, defeat them and you get a Chaos Emerald.

Get all Chaos Emeralds and you gain entrance to the final boss area, a foggy forest you couldn’t enter before.

No major characters appeared aside from Sonic.

No story, just dumped in.

Turn Super Sonic to fight the boss, he’s a giant colossus-like entity that you climb, hit his weak points.

These could all be changed because I played a couple of months ago and there still hasn’t been any reveal, so I assume they might be reworking a lot.”

2nd Occurrence analysis

As you can see, in this version, some of the elements that were talked about in the most famous leak aren’t present, some missing elements were added later, but the basic was already present and in place. Sonic can travel through an open world, doing puzzles, defeating badniks and fighting against bosses, to then fight against a final boss as Super Sonic. 

The most interesting thing is how the person that leaked these details claimed that they played it “a couple of months ago”, meaning that this version could take place after the build shown in the first occurrence. Some things have changed since then.

Another cool thing that I wanted to point out was that this build uses placeholder from previous Sonic games. During the final boss, the theme for the first boss fight against Infinite from Sonic Forces is used.

3rd Occurrence

In January of 2021, another anonymous 4chan user talked about Sonic rangers, once again mentioning the name “Sonic Rangers.” As their version is pretty edgy, and negative because Sonic Negativism gets clicks, I’m going to present it in a unbiased manner, and be direct to the point on what they said.

Sonic Rangers, around the end of 2020, was presented once more to a select group of people, two demos were shown. The first one allows exploration of the open world under a time limit of twenty minutes, and another demo that has an apparent Final Boss battle.

Open world is filled with small enemies, puzzles, and platforming challenges.

Completing puzzles, challenges and defeating badniks gives XP to the player as a reward, that can be used to unlock abilities for Sonic.

Among the abilities that Sonic can unlock, there is the “spincycle”, where after pressing the Y button, Sonic begins to create a line behind him, and if the player creates a circle-ish shape around the enemy or a group of enemies, Sonic attacks all the enemies that were “marked” within the spincycle line.

Homing Attack that can target multiple enemies at once, from Sonic Lost World, is back.

There are lots of bosses spread through the open world, when they are defeated, Sonic gets some “orbs”.

If the player gets enough orbs, he can access the “Cyberspace”, essentially this game’s special stage.

The cyberspace levels are like the boost levels in Sonic Generations.

When beating a cyberspace level within a certain amount of time, the player obtains a Chaos Emerald.

New voice clips for Roger Craig Smith were used.

Some new music was made for this build.

In regards to the demo where the player faces the final boss:

After reuniting all the Chaos Emeralds, Sonic can go through a dense fog that the player couldn’t access before in the open world.

A Giant Tree Robot is the apparent final boss.

Fly as Super Sonic using the spincycle and other abilities that were unlocked throughout the game to help defeat the final boss.

Can’t take damage, on a timer of rings. A Ghost girl refills the player’s ring count multiple times.

Demo ended after defeating the boss.

3rd Occurrence analysis

As you can see, this version polished even further the concepts that were talked about in the second occurrence. Instead of getting Chaos Emeralds after defeating a boss, Sonic gains orbs, where after this Sonic has to go after EVEN more bosses to get more orbs. With these orbs, the player can access a Special Stage, named Cyberspace, where you’ll be able to play a more traditional like Sonic game, to get the Chaos Emeralds.

This certainly helps the game longer, which is a plus for me. We’ll probably have seven boost levels, with them being treated like a Special Stage. They also added a XP system, and the main gimmick of this game, the spincycle, was shown in the trailer for Sonic Central.

Sonic will keep building up abilities, which is something I believe the player will be able to use them as different strategies on how to beat different types of bosses.

4th Occurrence

Sonic Central takes place, with a trailer for a new Sonic game at the end. Sonic is running through a forest, and then he begins to glow blue, creating a pixel effect, with a line following him. Sonic then runs in a circle with this new ability that makes him glow blue, and then exits screen.

4th Occurrence analysis

With the context we’ve piled up from previous occurrences, you can put some pieces together. Sonic is clearly activating a spincycle, the main gimmick for this new game, just like how it was said in the January 2021 leak. And just like how the leaker said, Sonic formed a circle-ish shape with this ability in the teaser trailer. Sonic creates a blue energy, creating a line behind him, allowing him to make patterns with it, maybe creating a shape that could surround his enemies?

5th Occurrence

Dataminers and modders are able to get their hands on the 4K trailer for the new Sonic game, finding out that the name of the game is, Sonic Rangers.

5th Occurrence analysis

It perfectly fits with what was stated previously in 4chan threads, specifically, the one from July 2020 and the one from January 2021. Helping give the 4Chan leaks even more credit.

6th Occurrence

SEGA, while sending out press kits to news websites, ends up slipping out the name for their next main Sonic game, Sonic Rangers.

"Announcing new console experiences, Sonic Colors: Ultimate and Sonic Rangers, further details on Netflix's Sonic Prime, mobile news, musical events and much more!"

-SEGA

It was an accident, and SEGA stated they sent an erroneous version, and when pressed about the Sonic Rangers name, it didn’t dwell into it any further.

6th Occurrence analysis

Coming straight from SEGA’s mouth, the name for the next main Sonic game is gonna be Sonic Rangers. This fits a lot with the rumours that came from 4chan from July 2020 and January 2021, making it EVEN MORE likely that the next main Sonic game is gonna be an open world game.

Conclusion

And that’s where we’re at now in terms of Sonic Rangers news. In my opinion, I’m 95% certain that these leaks are legit. Keep in mind that after the Sonic Rangers name came to light, 1001 other rumours were created, but these I have my doubts, since they now have a sturdy base, they can make up more stuff to go along with it.

My opinion: I’m particularly excited for this next main game. Sonic Rangers deals with uncharted territory for the Sonic series, and I feel like it could be very fun. But of course, I’m a guy that’s mostly chill and cool with most Sonic media out there, so form your own opinions.

Anyway...

HYPE FOR SONIC RANGERS!

Source 1, Source 2, Source 3, Source 4, Source 5 and Source 6.

A penny for your thoughts about Amy being in frontiers. "I read what the leaks said but I still want to hear your opinion."

Great! Thanks anon, if we're on the same page, then I won't lose any time bringing up the leaks, or at least the more credible ones.

At first I didn't think Amy was in the trailer. I was live with my friends, and my immediate reaction was "yes, that's the ghost girl!". I assumed she would be a new character, and it took me a while to come back to the trailer and check the voice, but even then I was having a hard time hearing something like Cindy Robinson's voice, for example. Then all the Twitter stuff happened and Japanese fans immediately came out saying "it's definitely Amy", soooo...

I think both Junichi and the Xbox YouTube channel spoiled a main plot reveal. It's no coincidence that both managed to leak the fact Amy is the "ghostly voice", and I'm not surprised this detail slipped through SEGA's control. Last night I told my friends that SEGA has handled Frontiers in a sloppy way, with fans being able to extract the "Rangers" working name immediately after they posted the first teaser, and now this spoiler. They're trying very hard to keep it all under wraps, but it still happened.

Anyway, I must admit I REALLY like Frontiers' setup. We have this unknown ancient technology and Eggman trying to use his new cutting edge AI to harness it, but in a very Half Life-esque way it all turns out to be a big "prepare for unforeseen consequences" moment. Where does Amy fit in all of this? I have no idea, maybe she was at the wrong place at the wrong time, or maybe this was a targeted attack on her, we'll have to see. This opens two possibilities, though:

In a very BOTW way, Amy could be the main character fighting/containing this new threat, and she requires Sonic's full help to defeat it. This requires the full intervention of the Chaos Emeralds, otherwise the fight is "too dangerous!" like she said in the trailer. This means she'll probably lead Sonic like Zelda leads Link throughout the game, with the added spice of Sonic being a talkative character who can add a lot of spice to each conversation.

On the other hand, Amy could be in a dire situation, actively in danger, requiring Sonic's help to break out wherever she is. Amy may not be the only "imprisoned" character, as it's said we need to save Sonic's friends "and maybe even save himself".

Either outcome sounds neat to me. I like the idea Amy could be a main character in this, expanding a bit on her dynamic with Sonic as we've seen SEGA pushing more and more merchandise with them. I think she might be related to both this new "cyberspace" thing and mayyyybe the "ancient lore" that's been doing the rounds on the internet for many months now, which in turn could also relate to Sonic Prime (which Flynn is also involved as a consultant).

I sent my bestie potatoes-tomatoes a little piece of writing I came up with earlier today, an idea I had about Amy being in a sort of "parallel reality" of Sonic's, where they can talk to each other and maybe even see each other but they can't physically interact, and this concept was coincidentally picked up almost at the same time in a lovely art piece by Aiole on Twitter (that art is literally how I envisioned that scene, seriously, it's so great) so, maybe check back later when she gets around to post it!

Anyway, I think my thoughts so far are a mess. I'm still trying to figure out some things, but if you have any other specific questions for me I'll gladly take them!

Okay! I have a burning question for you, my dude. Music is my life, and I wanna know what kind of music the OPM casts listen to. Thanks, my guy!

I had a feeling this would be inevitable lol. I don’t really know a whole lot about music or genres or anything like that so I’m just gonna give you a rundown of each character individually and some song recs along with that just to smooth things out a little. Thanks for your ask, by the way! ❤️ Now my playlists will be put to good use.

A Brief Rundown of the Major OPM Characters’ Music Tastes:

Blast: hc that he doesn’t even have ears since he never fucking LISTENS

Terrible Tornado: Stuff that makes her feel powerful. Loud vocals and good instrumentals. Also, she’s a little angsty since she’s saltier than the gotdamn Pacific almost all of the time. (Recs: Florence and the Machine - How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful, Susanne Sundfør - Delirious, Florence and the Machine - What Kind of Man, Kali Uchis - Dead to Me, Let’s Eat Grandma - Falling Into Me)

Fubuki: some of that real classy shit. Slow songs that are nice to just have a cup of tea with. Nothing too meaty or fast-paced, she enjoys taking a moment to breathe every once and a while since life gets pretty hectic when you’re managing a gang of some 30 hooligans. (Recs: Wes - Midnight Low, any song from Lana Del Rey’s entire discography lol, Florence and the Machine - Grace, The Marìas - I Don’t Know You, Yellow House - Ain’t Gonna Call, Feng Suave - Toking, Dozing)

Silverfang: Stuff from his time. I hc that he was a bit of a party animal back in his prime so he’s gotta have those grooves. Disco to the extremo. Also, another hc: Garou absolutely hates his music. He would play it during training and Garou would contemplate homicide. (Recs: Frankie Valli - Grease, The Edgar Winter Group - Free Ride, KC and the Sunshine Band - I’m Your Boogie Man, Matthew Wilder - Break My Stride, The Main Ingredient - Everybody Plays the Fool, Andrea True Connection - More, More, More)

Bomb: save as Silverfang, although I hc that Bomb was a little more of a nerd growing up. Still, he never missed out on a good party. (Additional Recs: KC and the Sunshine Band - Get Down Tonight, The Trammps - Disco Inferno, Tierra - Together, Cornelius Bros and Sister Rose - Too Late to Turn Back Now)

Atomic Samurai: Old shit. Shit older than Silverfang. He’s really not that old, but his soul is fucking ancient and he’s got that classic “grrr music these days sucks” kind of shithead attitude. (Recs: Jim Croce - Time in a Bottle, Dion - Runaround Sue, The Carpenters - The End of the World, The Band - The Weight)

Child Emperor: Upbeat synth. Stuff to listen to while he’s working on his machines and whatnot. Probably has meaty beats to keep him in tune with what he’s doing, like working around a clock. Probably some groovy citypop in there too. (Recs: Taeko Ohnuki - 4:00 AM, Junko Ohashi - Telephone Number, Tatsuro Yamashita - Magic Ways, Hiroyuki Sawano - NEXUS, Superfly - Kakusei, Mariya Takeuchi - Plastic Love)

Metal Knight: Intrumentals that Disney villains listen to. Deep, dark shit that makes you feel sad. He probably feeds off of negative emotion. What a toolbag. (Recs: Lucas King - Sociopath, Abel Korzeniowski- Table for Two, Max Richter - Never Goodbye, Max Richter - She Remembers, Evelyn Stein - Quiet Resource, Mac Quayle - Adagio in G Minor)

King: video game soundtracks, obviously. Might be some electro funk in there too, as a treat. (Recs: Metal Gear Solid 3 OST - Snake Eater, Mick Gordon - Rip and Tear, Xenoblade Chronicles OST - Main Theme, Persona 5 OST - Last Surprise, Daft Punk - Verdis Quo, Toby Fox - Hopes and Dreams, Disasterpeace - Prologue, iamthekidyouknowwhatimean - Run, Darren Korb - Old Friends)

Zombieman: Dad Music. Old rock that makes you wanna rail some lines of white thunder and dance on top of a car. He’d be reluctant to try out new stuff but does so nevertheless. Just a little bit of weird alternative here and there. (Recs: Poison - Unskinny Bop, Mötley Crüe - Dr. Feelgood, Black Sabbath - War Pigs, Def Leppard - Animal, CRX - Walls, MGMT - Little Dark Age, Pink Floyd - Money, Queens of the Stone Age - Villains of Circumstance)

Drive Knight: Dark synth, obviously. Need I say more? (Recs: El Tigr3 - She Swallowed Burning Coals, Trevor Something - Enjoy the Silence, Greg Drombrowski - Devour, GUNSHIP - Woken Furies, GUNSHIP - Thrasher, Carpenter Brut - Invasion A.D., Kavinsky - Nightcall)

Pig God: this guy probably just listens to ASMR of people eating food lol.

Superalloy Darkshine: Upbeat stuff that’s good for exercise; loving those new jams along with some of the old. He’s got a pretty groovy style. (Diane Ross - Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, Saint Motel - Puzzle Pieces, CRUISR - All Over, Barry White - Never, Never Gonna Give Ya Up, Sade - Kiss of Life)

Watchdog Man: 10 hour loop of wolves howling on a summer night.

Flashy Flash: classical. Some nice instrumentals to listen to while training. Stuff that preferably doesn’t have any or very little lyrics so it’s not too busy on his ears while he’s fantasizing about killing someone. (Recs: Vaughn Williams - The Lark Ascending, Debussy - Rêverie, Grieg - Peace of the Woods, André Laplante - Une Barque sur L’Ocean)

Metal Bat: Modern alternative. A little bit harder than say, Mumen and Kama, but not as hard as Zombieman or Death Gatling. He’s that middle ground where he’s still got some real bangers, but Zenko can listen as well. He’ll play this stuff loudly as he’s doing chores and working out, no headphones ever. It gets pretty annoying. (Recs: Foals - Exits, The Blue Stones - Black Holes, Solid Ground, CRX - Broken Bones, Jungle - Happy Man, The Strokes - Reptilia, We Are Trees - Girlfriend)

Genos: synth. But not just any synth, some heavy, fast-paced synth that’s just like him: speedy, relentless, and powerful. He listens to shit that’ll make you wanna get up and start killing Terminators. Probably. There’s some other synths in the mix too because we love a three-dimensional king. (Recs: Carpenter Brut - Division Ruine, The Protomen - I Still Believe, Carpenter Brut - Leather Teeth, Gunship - Tech Noir, TWRP - Phantom Racer, Le Castle Vania - Red Circle)

Tanktop Master: Dad music but the type of dad music that makes you think your dad was a sappy nerd back in the day. Long tracks that are good for workouts. (Tears for Fears - Woman in Chains, Pink Floyd - Us and Them, Duran Duran - Ordinary World, Billy Idol - Eyes without a Face, A Flock of Seagulls - I Ran, The Alan Parsons Project - Eye in the Sky, Tears for Fears - Sowing the Seeds of Love)

Puri-Puri Prisoner: Pop. Dance music. He doesn’t really get to listen to a lot of music in prison, so he holds on to whatever he can and savors every second of it. (Coldplay - Talk, Bruno Mars - Runaway Baby, Lady Gaga - Bad Romance, Flo Milli - Beef Flomix, Doja Cat - Say So)

Mumen Rider: Hes a lighthearted, soft boy. Likes some fluffy indie tunes. It helps to motivate him when working out or doing hero stuff. He might need to cry every once in a while though, so there’s some sad songs in the mix too. (Recs: Varsity - The Dogs Only Listen to Him, The The - This is the Day, Amarante - Don’t Look Back, Alvvays - Saved by a Waif, The Monkees - As We Go Along, Acid Ghost - Hide my Face, Mogwai - Take Me Somewhere Nice)

Sonic: same as Flash. He’s a little more hip with the times however, so he’s got some more groovy, electronic instrumentals to listen to in addition to some elegant stuff and isn’t opposed to having a little bit of lyrics sprinkled in there as well. In fact, he’s not opposed to uppity pop either. He thinks dancing is frivolous but he secretly does it when he thinks nobody is looking. (Additional Recs: Odesza - Bloom, Pretty Lights - One Day They’ll Know [Odesza Remix], BØRNS - Electric Love, Hembree - Culture, The Cinematic Orchestra - Arrival of the Birds)

Garou: same as Metal Bat. Bang let him have a little MP3 player during his time at the dojo and has since collected a few songs on there. They’re very near and dear to his heart since it’s one of the few good things that came from his absolute disaster of a childhood. (Additional Recs: Foals - Inhaler, CRX - Slow Down, Deep Sea Arcade - Close to Me, Gorillaz - Empire Ants, The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger, Glass Animals - Take A Slice)

Death Gatling: Shit your old Vietnam-vet grandpa would blast on the back of his F150. He gives me self-righteous asshole vibes, if I’m honest. Like, don’t get me wrong, I like Death Gatling, but he seems like the type of trailer park-dwelling sewer rat to carry a revolver into a Walmart for “self defense” and that’s probably the type of music he listens to, too. (Recs: Megadeth - Trust, Megadeth - Angry Again, Creedence Clearwater Revival - Fortunate Son, Glen Campbell - Southern Nights, Mötley Crüe - Kickstart My Heart, Quiet Riot - Cum on Feel the Noize)

One-Shotter: I hard hc that he had an emo phase he never quite grew out of. He doesn’t quite listen to emo anymore but he’s still into that alternative shit. Homeboy also likes some slow tunes every once and a while because he’s an emotional dude who’s not afraid of a good cry. (Recs: Anything from Blink-182, Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know?, MGMT - When You Die, Mazzy Star - Fade Into You, Cigarettes After Sex - Dreaming of You, Yon Ort - Other Matter)

Lightning Max: Same as Genos but without the terminator-killing. Fast-paced stuff because he’s a fast lightning dude. A little more upbeat because he’s not as much as an edgelord as Genos, however. (Additional Recs: Carpenter Brut - Hang’em All, The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize, Worn Tin - Sensitivity, B.E.R. - The Night Begins to Shine, Martin Hall - Different Kind of Love)

Stinger: he’s all about that FUNK! Stuff that gets him moving! Stuff that makes him wanna dance! (Recs: Daft Punk - Doin’ it Right, TWRP - Body Image, Wild Cherry - Play that Funky Music, Chemise - She Can’t Love You, Saga - Wind Him Up, Saga - On the Loose, TWRP - All Night Forever)

Okamaitachi: they give me electro vibes! New, modern shit that’s good to dance to or to just sit down and have a listen! Also, some shit that’ll probably play in a coming-of-age teen movie or something. They don’t really vibe with heavy music and that’s alright, babey! Keeping it light and bouncy. (Recs: Tei Shi - Bassically, Varsity - Must Be Nice, Class Actress - Weekend, CHVRCHES - Richard Pryor, Alvvays - Marry Me, Archie, Sobs - Telltale Signs, Goth Babe - Sometimes, ALASKALASKA - Meateater)

Iaian: Nice, low tunes that are good for meditation and to be used for background noise during training sessions. He never really sits down to listen to music, it’s always in the background of something else he’s doing so he prefers to have some soft beats that don’t really interfere with his senses. Tunes so quiet, he sometimes uses them as lullabies; especially since the trauma of losing his arm has since made it hard to sleep. (Recs: Boy Scouts - Saddest Boy, Susanne Sundfør - Mantra, Vashiti Bunyan - If I Were the Same but Different, Starman Jr. - Blue Fairy, Patrick Watson - Je te Laisserai des Mots, Sibylle Baier - I Lost Something in the Hills)

Bushidrill: same as Atomic Samurai just without the shitty attitude. He’s happy to listen to some newer stuff, he just doesn’t like it and that’s okay, baby! Probably some classy shit your wise old grandpa would listen to. (Recs: Dean Martin - Volare, Dion - The Wanderer, Peppino Gagliardi - Che Vuole Questra Musica Stasera, anything from Luis Miguel lol, Franco Micalizzi - Sadness Theme)

Amai Mask: probably just listens to his own music like a putz. If not, he’s listening to the sound equivalent of glittering diamonds. He’s probably got this shit playing at the end of a long day while he’s chilling in a hot bath or something. (Recs: Fergie - Glamorous, Rita Ora - Hot Right Now, Lana Del Rey - Freak, Lana Del Rey - Art Deco, Tame Impala - Feels Like We Only Go Backwards)

Saitama: He doesn’t listen to music much anymore, sadly. He did, however, have a killer motivational mix to get him through his vigorous training prior to becoming a hero. (Recs: Paul Engemann - Push it to the Limit, Journey - Don’t Stop Believin’, College & Electric Youth - A Real Hero, Joe Esposito - You’re the Best Around, Survivor - Eye of the Tiger, The Bee Gees - Nights on Broadway)

Here’s the playlist with all of these songs in order (mostly):

It’s on YouTube because I’m allergic to Spotify. I’ve got a doctor’s note. Also, all of my other playlists are on my little profile thingy so if you want to listen to my pile then go right ahead.

Thanks for your ask, my dude! ❤️ this took up ALL of my energy lol but it was fun.

Lockdown Lookback: Catching up on the past months’ Pop Culture

Aaaaannnd we’re back!

It’s amazing what a little pandemic can do to shake you out of your creative cobwebs but if we’re all going to die, I want to make sure all my pop cultural hot takes are up to date at least.

Many of us are already on lockdown and many major movies including “007,” “Black Widow” and ummm I guess “Mulan” are all getting pushed to the backburner as no one is leaving their God damn homes unless they’re told to!

(Didn’t realize the thing I wish I had more of in the apocalypse would be sweatpants...)

But there’s still plenty to talk about from the previous months and other hot topics I have been meaning to write about but just hadn’t found the time or energy for. Life has been hard I think for just about all of us these days thanks in no small part to this pandemic. For me personally, I’ve had two different vacations canceled because of the virus and currently working understaffed at my job which is considered essential. Not to mention my therapist is on call only at this time and both my martial arts schools have been suspended, so I can neither talk nor punch my feelings out of my system.

So, I might be just a LITTLE on edge at the moment.

(My internal monologue for most of these past few weeks, more broadly years...)

Anyways, I digress, you come here because you like to read my highly unprofessional takes on pop culture and genuinely to those who have cheered me on from the beginning thanks, you guys are my prime motivators. But anyways let’s talk about all the shit I was supposed to write about these last two and a half months.

 “Birds of Prey” was a hot, but needed, mess

Earlier last month I got to see the sort of sequel to the much-maligned “Suicide Squad” in “Birds of Prey and the…waaaay too long of a title for me write here.” I had cautious optimism for it because it looked strange and off the beaten path of most comic book movies and seemed to promise at the very least a fun time at the theater but it’s still also a DCEU movie so the floor was pretty low on its possible quality as well.

In the end, the movie is kind of bit of everything; the best and worst parts of the DCEU. 

In terms of the good, it’s definitely outside the box, a sort of fem Deadpool first person story as told frenetically by Harley herself. Margot Robbie is, of course, still quite great at this role and you can tell she’s having a blast as this character. The humor is mostly good and visually the bright colors and cinematography pops on each screen and on that front there isn’t much to complain about.

But as a DCEU movie it does suffer from some narrative imbalance partially due to it’s psycho storyteller but mostly, and more than likely, due to corporate editing that probably axed an entire dance number that I was honestly looking forward to from the trailers.

(Seriously, I actually wanted to see the full unedited version of whatever hell this ended up being.)

It’s definitely in the “could’ve been better” camp of comic book movies but you know what? I’m still glad it exists. You know why? Because comic book movies dominate our blockbuster culture right now and if the genre wants to survive, at least artistically, it needs some outside the box films like this. I HATED “Joker” but I appreciate that it opened the door for stranger, more unique takes on a genre that is getting increasingly more stale. This movie falls into that unique category too.

(Also, to all the faux-intellectuals and alt-right nerds making a culture war out of “Sonic” vs “Birds of Prey” *kindly* reevaluate your lives please...)

We’re at the point now where comic book movies should be getting weirder, not more formulaic, and that means swinging for the fences even if a couple don’t quite make it out of the ballpark. If it takes a few not so stellar takes on the genre for Hollywood to greenlight a truly fantastic one I’m all for it.

In any case “Birds of Prey” doesn’t quite end nor continue the DCEU’s recent hot streak but it is enjoyable enough to where I would be more than open to a sequel. It’s worth a watch.

 The Mandalorian and The Witcher: Two shows about violent mercenaries and fatherhood

Both these shows are old news at this point, but I did want to talk a little about both for a bit if you would have me.

First, “The Mandalorian” which was Disney+’s flagship production to begin its streaming chapter late last year is definitely a more than welcome addition to the galaxy far, far away. It’s pretty easy to feel fairly jaded about Star Wars these days given how flat the new trilogy ended but for what it’s worth “The Mandalorian” was a good mix of nostalgia bait and something new and interesting for fans to chew on. Its production value is obviously top-notch, no doubt because of all the Disney money pumped into it, it’s well-acted and thrilling and fun from start to finish. It plays heavily on the genres that influenced the series, primarily westerns and old samurai flicks, and fans of those will certainly enjoy the homages to them all.

The series was something of a coming out party for Deborah Chow who directed two of the season 1’s best episodes. Her steady hand, eye for details and tributes to Asian cinema throughout really gave the series an extra kick at times and showed how Star Wars can evolve still. Chow is set to helm the upcoming “Kenobi” series and one can only hope that she *really* leans into the samurai genre for that show.

(Hopefully, there are some “Yojimbo” vibes in there somewhere...)

The Mandalorian’s best and worst parts though are its semi episodic nature making each episode easy to digest as a one-off but also lacking some narrative tension between each. It plays kind of like a Saturday Morning cartoon to both its benefit and detriment with bite-size easy to digest plots and dialogue for the viewers but not offering a ton of depth beyond that.

The Mandalorian himself is also kind of a Gary Stu. His armor is basically impenetrable and far and away the best killer onscreen typically, making more than a few action scenes lack real stakes and tension. Baby Yoda certainly helps at times to make him more vulnerable and puts him in precarious positions plenty of times but outside a few moments (mainly episode 2 and to a lesser extend the final episode) he’s just a little too overpowered to be a more interesting character.

But this show and frankly the Star Wars series as a whole is meant for kids, no matter what the neckbeards try to tell you (violence =/= adult), and that’s not necessarily a bad thing either. Plenty of kids productions can be both great and even sophisticated and while I wouldn’t say “The Mandalorian” is either of those it’s a good and fun kids show for the fans.

(And yes I’m aware that the books, some comics, and games have touched on more adult stuff, you weirdos. But how would you describe the overall tone and presumptive audience of the movies and TV series as a whole, guys??)

As far as “The Witcher” goes it also has a bit of an episodic style to it as well with an overarching, albeit, convoluted story that runs parallel to it. The first 3-4ish episodes can be classified as a quasi “Game of Thrones” clone leaning perhaps a little too heavily into the tropes of that series. Once the series finally starts leaning into its real identity, a dry-witted hack and slash fantasy, the series is much more consistent both tonally and narratively.

Henry Cavil is solid as Geralt of Rivia and the supporting cast of Joey Batey as Jaskier, Freya Allen as Ciri and even more so Anya Chalotra as Yennefer are all great in their respective roles delivering some great moments throughout the season.

(And lest you forget this earworm...)

“The Witcher’s” early season struggles keep it from being as tonally or narratively consistent as “The Mandalorian” but where the monster slayer beats the bounty hunter is that it has overall more compelling drama and has more to say, leaning much more heavily into the thematic greys of the plot. There are tons of problems with “The Witcher” on a story-telling level but you can definitely say it cares more about adding some depth in between the more pulpy aspects of the story which is something you can’t say as much for in “The Mandalorian.”

Of course, I’m partially overselling “The Witcher” a bit here, it’s not anywhere near “Game of Thrones” best (yet at least), and on the flipside one could argue that “The Mandalorian’s” more subtle sense of story-telling does its themes better. But when it comes down to these two shows you get somewhat similar story-telling ideas, mostly involving both characters and their smaller counterparts, in two very different genres with equally diverging conclusions to their respective seasons. 

(🎵 Toss an “Oof” to your Witcher...🎵)

All in all, they’re both good and worth a watch and I think they deserve a chance to evolve and hopefully showcase more of what they have to offer moving forward.

“Parasite” wins Best Picture! Many people have some hot takes, including the president...

Last month one of my favorite films of 2019 “Parasite” won Best Picture at the Oscars. It’s a movie that is becoming increasingly relevant as elites and celebrities alike are getting front of the line testing despite being asymptomatic in the middle of pandemic and think they can assuage our concerns and dread by poorly singing “Imagine” together within the comfort of their McMansions.

It’s about as a good time as any to revisit this movie, I mean where else are you going to go during this timeline, and at a later date I’ll write something more extensive about it eventually (hopefully) but first here’s a helpful video on one particular thing that came out after director Bong Joon Ho took home the night’s top honors:

 “Cats” is still a fever dream of madness

Back in late December, I watched “Cats” for science, as I had AMC A-List and a friend crazy enough to join me. I figured it would be bonkers and unlike anything I had seen before in the worst way but even then, I don’t think I was truly prepared for what I ended up seeing that fateful night.

I remember quite vividly going to the bar inside the theater and ordering a stiff drink beforehand to numb the pain and the bartender asking “So what are y’all watching tonight?” and beginning to laugh manically like an insane asylum patient at the innocuousness of the question. Walking into the theater was like that feeling you get before getting on a particularly scary-looking rollercoaster at Six Flags but instead of the pre-ride jitters eventually subsiding to the eventual fun and joy of the ride, only a deep sense of existential dread built up and sustained itself through what felt like six hours of the most baffling thing put to screen in front of my eyes ever.

(The music that played in my head as I exited the theater...)

Have any of you watched the Stanley Kubrick movie “Eyes Wide Shut” before? You know the scene when Tom Cruise is walking around in his mask observing the strange occult sex orgy going on around him at the mansion? That’s kind of what “Cats” felt like except way more terrifying, somehow MORE sexual, and definitely crazier.

(Is...this some type of...intepretative dance to summon an eldritch horror??)

There’s a voyeuristic terror that comes from sitting in that theater room as you watch bipedal humanoid looking felines dance to confusing songs about “Jelicle” cats (whatever the fuck that means) and all other manner of things that should NOT take human form throughout it’s near-endless runtime. A lot was made about Rebel Wilson and the disgusting roach people she consumes but NO ONE warned me about the frankly HORRIFYING mice children in the same scene!

(I am not perusing the internet to find that image again for y’all. I have enough nightmares each night...)

The saddest thing about the whole movie is everyone, save for Ian Mckellen who seemed to be acting as if a gun was pointing at him offscreen and Judi Dench who looked 100 percent like a geriatric in her digi fur, was giving the movie their fullest effort in what can only be described as a Titanic-sized level of hubris by all parties involved. This movie really needed a “Chaostician” involved in evaluating the production for studio heads and shareholders because there were definitely NOT enough people on this project wondering whether or not this film SHOULD exist...

(Dr. Ian Malcolm coming to Universal Pictures to access the film.)

What has “Cats” wrought upon this world? The universe has been clearly out of balance since this movie came out and while I’m not saying it’s director Tom Hooper’s fault, I’m not saying it isn’t either.

“Cats” is one of those things, much like The Matrix that cannot be simply described but must be seen to believe. It’s one of the worst things I have ever seen onscreen but with the right group of people and a few stiff drinks it’s certainly an experience you won’t forget. Consider it for your next Google Hangout during this apocalypse.

  Anyways, that about wraps up my thoughts on the last few months. Going to try to be more consistent going forward especially given how much more time I have now to write, for better and worse. But more importantly, just want to say stay safe y’all. It’s going to be a process to get through this and while things are more likely to get worse before they get better there will be a day when this all ends and some normalcy may yet return to our life but in order for us to get there we need to remain vigilant. 

So stay at home, wash your hands, and if you want to watch movies just order it online for now and we’ll just wait until aaaallll this blows over…hopefully.

Don’t panic...

My Top 20 Favorite Video Games

(Listed in the order in which I played them)

Pokémon Red Version - Along with my matching red Game Boy Pocket, this was the first video game I owned that was purely mine and not handed down from an older kid. I still go back and replay this every couple of years on that very same Game Boy Pocket or on the 3DS Virtual Console. I know there’s FireRed and a whole series of more modern Pokémon games at my disposal but the original Red Version easily gets the most nostalgia points. Sometimes that’s what it’s all about, no? Banjo-Kazooie - Similarly, the N64 became my first home console that wasn’t a hand-me-down and it came equipped with both bear and bird (complete with “screaming about it on Christmas morning”). After going back and replaying this almost twenty years later I gained new appreciation for how goofy and colorful it is. Treasure Trove Cove is so fucking catchy. Sonic Adventure 2 Battle - From its kickin’ soundtrack to its satisfying controls to its random-ass virtual pet simulator this game has it all. Multiplayer was always pretty exciting too, I remember many an afternoon trying to one-up a friend during a grind race. No 3D Sonic game compares to this if you ask me, although Sonic Heroes and Sonic Unleashed come sort of close in their own ways. What I wouldn’t give for a proper Sonic Adventure 3... Marvel vs. Capcom 2: New Age of Heroes - I remember playing this at my local arcade in my youth before eventually getting a port of it for the Xbox 360. The look of its 2D sprites are phenomenal and - if it will help you understand why I love this game - I’m singing “I Wanna Take You For a Ride” to myself as I type this. Metroid: Zero Mission - This was the first Metroid game I ever actually beat, and it was the game that made me fall in love with the series. I love Metroid Fusion and Metroid: Samus Returns as well but I like Zero Mission’s visual style the most. I was so thrown for a loop when Samus lost her Power Suit towards the end of the game but it only made getting it back that much sweeter.  Metroid Prime 2: Echoes - I started playing this one in 2004 but didn’t officially beat it until way later in 2017. For a while I had a pattern I’d go through every few years of “start playing, enjoy it for a while, get lost, and start over for some reason.” Took me thirteen years to get serious about it but it earned its place as my favorite of the 3D Metroid games. I felt so fulfilled once it was complete, like I was achieving a childhood dream. Kingdom Hearts II - I don’t think I would’ve gotten into this game if not for my friend’s suggestion but I couldn’t thank him enough for it. This is another one of those games you only vaguely understand when you’re a kid only to realize how complex and intuitively designed it is in your adulthood. After the long wait, Kingdom Hearts III proved to be pretty satisfying but I just have too much history with its predecessor for it not to win a spot on this list. Jak 3 - Though my interest in this series burned fast and bright, this game still sticks out to me as one of the best I’ve ever experienced. I played the third installment before Jak and Daxter or Jak 2 but that’s fine because it’s the best goddamn one. Driving around in the desert, swapping out gun modules, and taking flight on some janky wings made of light were definitely the highlights for me. World of Warcraft: Cataclysm - I got into this game during the latter period of Wrath of the Lich King but I didn’t feel like an official WoW player until this fiery, grim expansion. It was the first real online game I’d ever played (if you don’t count Neopets and Adventure Quest) that I started as a Night Elf Warrior in a PVP server and ended as a Worgen Hunter in a non-PVP server. Because fuck the Horde, that’s why. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - I got Skyrim on a whim because I literally couldn’t think of anything else I wanted for Christmas in 2011. There was no hype for me, I knew nothing ‘bout no Dragonborns, but I thought “heck it” and dove in anyway. After originally playing it on Xbox 360 and replaying it more recently on PS4 (with a slew of mods) I can say with confidence this game continues to blow me away. I always seem to find something new even though I feel like I know it like the back of my hand. I did get involved in The Elder Scrolls Online later on but Skyrim is still where it’s at. Soul Calibur V - I was first introduced to the tale of souls and swords (eternally retold, of course) through Soul Calibur II and only because you could play as Link on the Gamecube version. Fast-forward to 2012 and I was still on board with its story and cast of characters but its character creation was really what kept me hooked. Soul Calibur VI turned out to be a little disappointing but I definitely got the most out of its fifth installment and I’m guilty of having played for hours and hours on end. Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward - What began as a free trial because I was bored turned into a years-long interest in yet another MMO. While the base game was okay it really picked up speed with Heavensward and I was hooked from that point onwards. After a certain point I caught myself not skipping cutscenes and discovered - oh hey - the story’s actually really good. Star Wars Battlefront - I loved this game when it came out on PS4 and used it often to get my insatiable Star Wars fix. Aerial combat was my downright favorite part of the game and I loved smoking some TIE Fighters in an X-Wing or in the Millennium Falcon. Its sequel Star Wars Battlefront II could’ve made this list but EA was being a real dirtbag about it and now I find it hard to look back on happy memories of it the same way. The 2015 game is thankfully unsullied by those sour elements, however, so I’d say its gotta be my favorite Star Wars game ever. Overwatch - This game came to me at a time when I only wanted to play games that had character creation. I was hesitant to get to know all the characters and lore but I’m overjoyed I did since they’re so rich in personality and fun details. Once I got the hang of characters like McCree, Soldier, Reinhardt, and Widowmaker I was absolutely sold and I still play it two years later. Sonic Mania - The delightful trailer for this game got me all riled up but I wouldn’t know just how great it was until I was playing it myself. I don’t think I could ever truly enjoy my previous favorite 2D Sonic games (Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Sonic 3 & Knuckles, and Sonic CD) ever again because this game just feels better than all of them combined.  The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild - I didn’t really grow up with the Legend of Zelda, only ever playing A Link to the Past and Twilight Princess, but I immediately knew I was going to enjoy this open world take on the series. Just the sheer freedom of what you could do and where you could go was enough to reel me in and its aesthetic still amazes me with how great of a mood it generates. Final Fantasy VII - I still remember going into a GameStop when I was in high school and naively attempting to buy a used copy of this game for the PS1. It was an “epic fail,” as I would’ve said at the time. But over a decade later I downloaded it on the PS4 and went to town, getting my full FF7 experience at long last and loving every minute of it. Very stoked for the remake; it’s probably my most anticipated game right now. Marvel’s Spider-Man - What a surefire hit this was. From the moment the first gameplay footage was out I knew this was going to be the must-have web-swinging, wall-crawling good time. I love that there are so many ways to play the same character and everyone can really embody their own version of Peter Parker. I’m also from New York City so seeing a digital rendition of Manhattan was a real treat (even though they changed uptown a lot and my old apartment doesn’t exist in the game). Super Smash Bros. Ultimate - Nine of the other nineteen entries in this list feature a character who’s playable in this latest Smash game. I get that people like Melee for reasons and whatever but how can you not like SSBU, the game that has it all? I’m still riding the high of Banjo and Kazooie entering the fray and I absolutely cannot wait to see where things go from here. Never had more fun playing local multiplayer in my life. Red Dead Redemption II - Never cared for Grand Theft Auto and the first Red Dead Redemption was fun but damn, there’s nothing quite like its sequel. I’m still working my way through the story just because I’ve spent so much time out in the wide open world, taking my time and seeing the sights. I might be a city boy but I have a deep appreciation for the American West and if this game ain’t just the prettiest damn thing I ever did see... hoo-WEE! Top shelf.

Eugenesis Part Three, Scene Six: I’ve Got A Very Bad Feeling About This.

Not even three-hundred Autobot troops make it back underground, and a majority of those who do aren’t going to last very long with how injured they are. They aren’t mentioned, but I’m going to assume Quark and Rev-Tone made it.

Meanwhile, Wheeljack, Mainframe, and Centurion come back into the narrative. It’s been a minutes, guys, how’s it going?

It should be noted that Centurion isn’t very old. Not accounting for the twenty years he was in a coma in the Decepticon fortress, he’s at most fifteen. This is very appropriate for someone his age, especially since he’d been expecting for everything to be exploding just all the time because of the war.

They’ve been walking for hours, trying to get to the Sonic Canyons, when Centurion spies a building that could potentially have something to power their short-range communication device. They approach, finding it to be a weapon manufacturing plant, long since abandoned. They do a little exploring and find someone, only to get a boobytrap sprung on them by a very special someone- Sygnet.

Putting three giant nerds in the same scene leads to roughly a page and a half of sci-fi jargon explaining just how Sygnet set his trap up. What little power the plant has is used up in that time, and the boys decide to put their losses and get back on the road. Sygnet is convinced to come with, after Wheeljack strokes his ego a bit.

Hey, so you know how Galvatron was supposed to die? That didn’t happen.

Haxian’s readouts came through on Galvatron, and they’re frigging glorious. Instead, they’re going to use him as a weapon. Xenon has him locked back into his cell as they formulate a new plan.

Meanwhile, Prime’s team is going well over the speed limit as they’re fired upon by Quintesson troops.

You mean that trailer that doesn’t exist yet? Spooky.

In order to make it to safety, they’re going to have to be aggressive. Optimus Prime asks Hoist to be ready.

Who the hell else is in this ghost trailer? 

Since when can he do THAT? Man, the ghost trailer kicks ass.

They’re almost to cover, but it wouldn’t be a proper chase scene without something going wrong. Optimus’ ghost trailer can’t seem to lower Hoist back down, and the clearance for the tunnel is rather low. Optimus orders Nightbeat to get ahead of him and shoot out his tires.

You know, as opposed to just having Hoist jump out of his seat.

Nightbeat transforms, fires, and misses. He misses so hard the road explodes, throwing his celebrity crush onto his side and dragging Hoist across the pavement at two-hundred miles per hour. Good thing they’re robots, because that would straight-up kill him if he wasn’t.

Pregnant ghost trailer.

The reprieve from attack is short-lived- there are Quintessons on the other end of the tunnel. They request that Team Prime come out with their hands up.

Optimus decides that he’s going to talk to them, like civilized folk do. He asks for their names, and what exactly they’re wanting from him- he’s very polite about the whole thing, really. The Quintessons are less so. Then Optimus punches one of them so hard in the face that his jaw falls off. He’s very strong, our Optimus.

Team Prime runs back into the tunnel, and the Quintessons decide that instead of trying to smoke them out, they’re just going to collapse the entire embassy that sits on top of the tunnel. Optimus orders his team to shoot the floor under their feet, but it’s too late. Embassy comes crashing down just a moment later.

…What was your plan here, Optimus?

Let’s check back in with the Autobot forces.

Mondays, am I right?

Quark and Rev-Tone made it, though Quark is feeling pretty darn guilty about running away. But let’s focus on Prowl, since he wants to be the center of the universe at all times until it’s inconvenient for him.

Perceptor brings up Nightbeat, and Prowl about rips his head off for it- he’s marked that topic off-limits, apparently. The thing that he’s pinned everyone’s survival on… is off-limits to discussion. Brilliant.

And he wonders why people don’t respect him.

Chromedome’s been calling ahead to the AMC, but thanks to Rev-Tone’s battle-boner, First Aid actually did turn off the communications. First Aid, what the fuck?

Meanwhile, on Mount Edeus, the Quintessons have been doing a little redecorating, just in time for the prisoners of war to arrive. Decepticons pour out of ships, chained together and beaten within an inch of their lives.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Oh boy, Blitzwing’s back in the story, and he’s just having an awful time. He’s not super sure where they are currently, only aware that they’re somewhere in the Manganese Mountains. He thinks about turning towards one of the guys behind him to see if they have any ideas, but someone trips and is promptly shot for it, so he decides to just keep his mouth shut for the time being.

Inside the camp, Blitzwing is stripped of, well, everything.

Then he’s put in a shower room and blasted with red paint, rather violently I might add. I’m going to guess that’s a visibility thing, in case someone tries to escape. A guard comes up, brands his forehead, and then shoves him into a cell. Once there, he uses the metal wall to see just what exactly they branded him with.

It’s the letter A. It should be noted that the Quintessons were looking for survivors who would classify as “A-grade.”

Hey, Roberts?

What the ever-loving fuck is this scene?

...The mechpreg takes place in this concentration camp, doesn’t it?

The first proper trailer for Sonic Prime came out yesterday, as I'm sure you've all heard. I've gotten several messages asking me my thoughts, so... here's some thoughts! Thoughts on how the show's looking, and a certain bat whose presence is somehow the biggest news to me.

First off? This looks phenomenal, visually speaking. I'm kind of in awe of how good the visuals in CGI cartoons are getting. The scenery looks great. The characters move so fluidly. Everything's beautifully lit. I could go on and on. I wish the in-engine game cutscenes had animation half this good.

I continue to be pleased with how slavishly faithful to the games the main universe is - to the point that they're saying this is, in fact, just set in the game universe. Yeah, we're all getting tired of Green Hill Zone, but we've never had a cartoon that was this faithful. The closest we got was Sonic X, which I like, but it's hard to look at any random episode about Sonic having to save the extensive human cast from another generic robot and say it really has the feel of the games. Seeing Sonic and co. fight some classic Badniks in a cartoon with (mostly) their normal designs feels special after all these years of never quite getting that.

That slavish faithfulness to the classic iconography also makes the differences with the multiverse stuff hit harder, and thank GOD they're finally showing some of that. This teaser is pitching it as a show about Sonic meeting alternate timeline versions of his friends who form an underground resistance against the Eggman Empire (funny how the franchise keeps finding itself back in Freedom Fighter territory), which is fun and all. Tall cyborg Amy! A version of Tails who can walk like a spider on a set of robotic kitsune tails! Hell yeah! But if the synopsis blurbs about a "multiverse" and "new worlds" and that pile of leaked concept art from a year and a half ago are anything to go off of, this is presumably only the first of multiple alternate worlds that we'll be seeing. I'm very excited to see more of them!

We also hear a little more from the new voice cast. Brian Drummond is kinda doing his own thing with Eggman. I like it. It sounds compatible with the usual Mike Pollock take without aping it 1:1. He seems maybe a little more sinister here, which fits what we've seen so far from this take on Eggman. And Deven Mack still sounds great as Sonic, although I kind of wonder if he's being instructed to sound like Roger since the delivery in what we've heard so far is pretty similar. I get that desire for consistency, but I hope he's able to inject a bit more of his own spin on Sonic in the full show, even if it's supposed to technically be the same Sonic as Roger's.

Meanwhile, the roles for the rest of the main voice cast have been confirmed elsewhere, and they mostly match up with what I expected because these casting choices just make perfect sense. I already know Shannon Chan-Kent, known primarily for playing Misa in Death Note and Pinkie Pie's singing voice (and Smolder) in MLP, is perfect casting for Amy. Ashleigh Ball's one brief line as Tails sounds a lot like her Rainbow Dash voice, but like... hey, it fits! I'm excited to hear more from her. And Knuckles... well, I don't know his VA as well and also he has no lines in this trailer.

But by now y'all know which characters I stan the most, and you know what I'm gonna be excited about. The big surprise here is the fact that Rouge is on the main cast. The main cast.

The cast posters revealed that she was in the show, which was big enough news, but then the trailer drops and she's on the damn team. Every hero team in a kids' show needs three boys and two girls, and this time they rounded out the group with Rouge. AND she's being voiced by Kazumi Evans, yet another MLP alum on this show - this time Rarity's singing voice and the voice of Adagio Dazzle in Equestria Girls. I don't even need to hear any lines, I know that's another perfect fit.

I'm just shocked. Rouge hasn't been in a TV series in almost two decades since she was kept out of Boom, robbing us of the "Rouge somehow ropes Team Sonic into doing a goofy heist with her" episode the world deserved. Ian's even said that he pitched some ideas for Boom Rouge after being asked to pitch more Boom-ified game characters, but it went nowhere. While she's continued to show up in the comics and (to a lesser extent) the games due to her fan favorite status, it's kind of felt like she was being swept under the rug. Fewer major story appearances than in the '00s, not much merch, it took them until the fifth Mario & Sonic game to make her playable. And she's probably seen as less broadly marketable as a mascot character because of... well, two big reasons.

And so, understandably, Rouge is here with a new outfit that covers those two big reasons up more than usual.

Yeah as a Rouge fan, a person who's talked at length about the fanservice in Archie Sonic, and a sapphic furry artist, I can't avoid talking about this stuff lol

I mostly like the new outfit and think it was a smart call. We can have lots of nuanced discussions about objectification and sexual liberation and the fact that seeing some cleavage isn't gonna kill you and how being the flirty femme fatale is a core part of Rouge's character and whether that's objectifying or empowering and all the other things that get brought up every time a new Bayonetta game comes out. But at the end of the day their main audience is 8-year-olds, and because of that I really can't blame them for dressing Rouge slightly more modestly. I've always loved Rouge as a character the way she already is, but people (particularly non-fans, and also just... Sonic fans who aren't also furries lol) often write her off as "that weird bat lady with the tits that people are really horny for." Hopefully the writing will show non-comic readers that she's a genuinely fun character when used well as a foil to the rest of the cast, and hopefully her new outfit(s) will allow people to focus on that.

I do think something's a little off with the new outfit, though, even if I think it looks solid overall. Is it just that the heart motif is more abstract and less of a central focus here? That might be part of it. Maybe the suit just looks slightly overdesigned next to Team Sonic. Unsurprisingly I've also already seen multiple pieces of fanart giving this outfit a boob window, with one arguing that showing more of her skin tone on her torso gives the design better color balance, and... yeah, on that level I do kinda agree lol. Although I think a similar balance could be achieved just by having her upper arms be exposed or something. (Which is a feature on her bad timeline counterpart's outfit!) But, yeah, overall I do think I like it.

I also don't think they actually made her boobs smaller compared to most of her modern appearances despite the many, many, MANY claims to the contrary but I am not getting into that debate lol. Also she's literally still wearing a skintight catsuit and doing cool flying kicks you are not allowed to say they made her less hot

The fact that they're putting Rouge front and center has me VERY curious about her future prospects in the movie universe, though, given the particular projects currently in the works. To me, this makes it seem WAY more likely than it previously did. But who knows?

Uhhh anyway yeah the show looks good. I like pretty much everything we've seen so far. I like basically all of the previous Sonic cartoons except Underground to some extent, but if they stick the landing with this one then it seems like it'll pretty easily be the best one. I guess it's kinda lame that they made Sonic say "gotta go fast" in the trailer, but idk, it's a modern Sonic project, they gotta pay the obligatory lame meme toll. I am mostly fixated on Rouge because she's one of my favorite characters and her being on the main team is somehow the biggest curveball this show's previews have thrown so far, like seriously what.

Doctor Who: Revolution of the Daleks Review

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This Doctor Who review contains spoilers. Our spoiler-free preview is here.

It may be the start of a brand new year, but ‘Revolution of the Daleks’, an episode of Doctor Who that’ll need to tide us over for a while, is more focused on looking back and taking stock than teasing what’s ahead. As the pre-title sequence informs us, courtesy of some Big Chunky Captions that the show currently favours, not only is this episode a follow-up to the events of ‘The Timeless Child’, it’s also a sequel of sorts to the 2019 New Year’s Special, ‘Resolution’.

Things pick up a few short hours after that adventure, which saw a buried Dalek mutant hijacking a human host and eventually constructing a scrapyard casing. It’s the abandoned husk of that same travel machine that now gets carted away by an unwitting driver, a man who’s so obviously doomed from the second he signs the paperwork that you can’t help but feel sorry for him. (But then, who can’t sympathise with someone who gets through their day one cuppa at a time?)

The Dalek shell soon finds its way into a pair of grasping, familiar hands, and this is where a selection of festive snacks are likely to be flung at the screen by some of the fandom. The mastermind behind the theft turns out to be Jack Robertson – the Trump-envying, Scooby-Doo villain last seen burying toxic waste during the divisive ‘Arachnids in the UK’. Robertson, played once again by Chris Noth, hasn’t managed to realise his presidential ambitions, but his character is unapologetically the same.

This time around, Robertson is accompanied by a ruthless Defence Secretary with her eyes on Number 10. Given that this episode was almost certainly conceived back when Theresa May was still Prime Minister, it’s not hard to see the inspiration for this particular pairing. Together, their intention is to reverse-engineer the Dalek technology – which as far as they know is nothing but a very advanced robot – and mass-produce them to roam the streets.

The idea of these caricatures conspiring to build an army of alien neo-Nazis in the name of “national security” is the kind of brute-force political allegory that has proven extremely hit-or-miss in recent years. If the dastardly duo had stayed in control of the Daleks for any length of time and we’d seen Britain slowly fall into the depths of fascism while the companions looked on helplessly, the episode could have come across as both derivative and ham-fisted, particularly when compared to ‘Genesis of the Daleks’. Thankfully, the Daleks themselves are having none of it, but more on them later.

Shortly before the titular revolution, we find the companions kicking their heels back on Earth with no word from the Doctor, and no clue as to whether or not she’s even alive. Yaz is spending most of her time in the new-build TARDIS that brought them home, having gone a bit Zoom-and-Enhance as she tries desperately to concoct a rescue plan. Graham and Ryan, meanwhile, have all-but accepted the Doctor’s fate and are doing their best to look after the planet in her stead.  

Alongside the exterminations and screaming that are a given whenever the Daleks are involved, this episode asks itself two questions, the first being: how do Doctor Who companions save the world without the Doctor? Ahead of transmission, the idea that Team TARDIS would need to tackle the Daleks by themselves was played up as being the meat of this story, leading to speculation that Captain Jack would step in as a sort of surrogate Doctor – he’s certainly got Dalek experience.

For better or worse, though, life without the Doctor isn’t really a question the show cares to dwell on for very long once it’s been posed, despite what the trailers might have led us to believe. It seems that what Graham, Ryan and Yaz have learned from travelling through time and space is that when someone’s threatening to take over the world, you should march right up to them, issue a few vague threats before being unceremoniously arrested, then go home again and sulk. Graham grumbles that without a sonic screwdriver or some psychic paper they can’t follow in the Doctor’s footsteps, but given how often the show teaches us that the Doctor isn’t defined by her gadgets, their half-hearted attempt to confront Robertson and save the day still comes across as a bit of a damp squib.

Luckily for the human race, it doesn’t take too long before the Doctor’s broken out of space-prison. Not from our perspective, anyway – as far as Thirteen’s concerned, she spends a good few decades in the company of some returning alien races, all of whom have supposedly gone through the judicial process. (A Weeping Angel on trial is a Big Finish production just waiting to be written…) There’s even an imprisoned P’Ting, which seems a bit harsh, though it might just be locked up to keep it safe from Yaz.

When Captain Jack finally springs the Doctor from her cell, the two characters get their first proper interaction since ‘Journey’s End’ (not to mention a callback to Jack’s favourite smuggling technique). It’s a sweet, slow moment, as is the Doctor’s reunion with her TARDIS, even if it’s all a bit too straightforward to be a genuinely thrilling escape. The Doctor was obviously going to bust out of prison sooner or later, of course, but given all the hype surrounding her absence, it’s hard not to feel her reunion with the companions happens a bit too easily and without complication.

The next few minutes are more interesting. While Whittaker’s Doctor has always claimed to be fiercely devoted to her ‘fam’, she usually can’t wait to get out of the room as soon as she’s required to interact with her companions on an emotional level, meaning they normally have to lean on one another for support. This time, the dynamic is reversed – the Doctor, still stewing over being the Timeless Child, is being particularly clingy while the companions are keeping her at arm’s length, with neither group really able to conceive of what the other has gone through.

These scenes culminate in a line of dialogue from the Doctor that would be wildly out of character in most other situations: “New can be very scary”. The Doctor normally claims to adore ‘new and exciting’, citing it as the reason they travel – so long as it’s new and exciting on their terms. Failing to escape on her own, encountering resentful companions and a loss of her cultural identity have left this Doctor feeling very much out of control.

And then, like a roller-coaster lurching into motion, the episode kicks into high gear and we’re off to see the Daleks.

Read more

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Doctor Who: A History of Dalek Redesigns and Fan Reactions

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Doctor Who: revisiting each Doctor’s first encounter with the Daleks

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Having been cloned back into existence by Robertson’s scientist-slash-flunky Leo, the mutant from ‘Resolution’ has been practicing its two favourite tricks – puppeteering a human host, and online shopping. With an army of freshly-farmed mutants just waiting to slither inside empty Dalek casings, it doesn’t take too long before the cries of “Exterminate” ring through Downing Street, putting an end to the new Prime Minister before she’s even had time to feed Larry the cat. Team TARDIS, along with Robertson for seemingly no other reason than so he can betray them later, now need to sort out humanity’s DIY alien invasion. The Doctor’s solution: call the Daleks!

Skaro-variety Daleks, that is, further adding to the cast of aliens we haven’t seen in a while, and they’re not too happy that their racial purity is being threatened by human-fed knock-offs. Dalek civil wars were quite common in the show’s classic era, and there’s definitely mileage to be had watching the pepperpots squabbling among themselves. With so much to wrap up in one episode, though, what we actually get isn’t a war. It is, to borrow a phrase, pest control. The 3D-printed Daleks are so much cannon fodder for the bronze originals, who – thanks to Robertson – decide that taking over the Earth sounds like a bit of a lark so long as they’re in the neighbourhood.

This leads to some running around on a Dalek saucer that accomplishes little. Despite repeatedly reminding everyone just how immortal he is, Jack gets spared a horrific series of deaths this time around, and before long the Doctor arrives to taunt every last one of the infuriated mutants into her TARDIS. Except it’s not really hers – it’s the new-build TARDIS in disguise, and its destruction takes out the Dalek forces and ties up that loose end in a neat bit of storytelling.

With the threat eliminated and Robertson once again weaselling his way out of punishment, there’s one last issue that needs to be tied up. We’d all been made aware that Tosin Cole and Bradley Walsh were going to be departing Doctor Who this week, so when we saw them demand to board a Dalek saucer alongside the immortal Captain Jack… Well, there was precedent for things to go badly wrong.

Companions old and new have died in Dalek stories. A heroic grandfather/grandson sacrifice to save the human race wasn’t too likely, but it wasn’t completely out of the question, either. Here are Ryan and Graham alive and well, and this is where the show has to confront its second question. What does it take for a companion to leave the Doctor?

It was quite common for assistants to jump ship in the classic serials. Sometimes they were travelling with the Doctor only reluctantly and would leave the TARDIS whenever they happened back to their rightful home, especially when the Doctor could barely control their next destination. Others fell in love, elected to remain somewhere they could make a difference or, sometimes, sacrificed their lives. Whatever their fate, there was always a sense they knew that their relationship with the Doctor was a transitory one; a journey into the unknown, but one that definitely had a final destination.

Then came the Time War, and the Doctor was suddenly the most amazing, brilliant, astounding and important figure in the universe. Last of the Time Lords, destroyer of Gallifrey, spoken of in myth and legend. He could take his companions anywhere in time and space and show them the delights of the universe. Showrunner Russell T. Davies made it abundantly clear that if you could handle the challenge, there was absolutely no drug more addictive than setting foot inside that TARDIS.

A few companions still chose to leave, or else got left behind. Mickey Smith lingered in a parallel universe where he was needed and loved. Martha Jones departed to care for her traumatised family. On the whole, though, increasingly convoluted ways have been concocted to forcibly separate the Doctor from his companions without actually killing them. Parallel universes, mind-wipes, temporal paradoxes… For many years now, the Doctor’s friends haven’t walked away – they’ve been ripped away.

Here, Chris Chibnall chooses to confront the scar that ten months has left upon the companions’ relationship with the Doctor. It’s something of a tell-don’t-show moment – Ryan makes reference to having reconnected with friends and family, but we don’t see any of that. It’s clear, however, that the past year has given Ryan enough time to realise how much home and a stable foundation still means to him. His decision to say goodbye doesn’t stem from any close call or tragic loss, but a new-found self-confidence and a desire to grow up. The Doctor may be a Timeless Child, but Ryan is not.

Ryan’s departure means that a clearly torn Graham must also say his goodbyes, although his reasoning is far more straightforward – if he leaves to travel with the Doctor, he’ll miss his grandson taking those first steps into adulthood. And so Yaz is left in a TARDIS control room that suddenly seems a lot bigger, her trust in the Doctor tarnished but intact thanks to a surprisingly earnest heart-to-heart with Jack earlier in the episode. And then, as is fitting for an episode that has spent so much time in its own recent past, we return to the same Sheffield hillside where the companions began their journey – and to Ryan Sinclair, cheered on by his hopeful Grandad, learning how to ride a bike.

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This is unlikely to be anyone’s all-time favourite Doctor Who episode. It won’t sit proudly in the number one spot when YouTubers rank the Christmas specials. It’s a little too reliant on navel-gazing for that – but what the episode does is try and tackle questions raised by the Doctor always being the centre of the series’ universe, and what it takes to overcome her gravitational pull. Even if you don’t care to chew over those metatextual issues on New Year’s Day, however, ‘Revolution of the Daleks’is still an enjoyable hour-and-change of telly, and one that ultimately chooses to (mostly) wipe the slate clean ready for adventures yet to come.

The post Doctor Who: Revolution of the Daleks Review appeared first on Den of Geek.

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About that Metroid Prime 4 announcement...

Yes, I know this is vastly late, but bear with me, since I’ve wanted to say all this for a while now. But really, I feel that what I have to say here not only applies today, but will apply up to the release of the game. Let’s go on with this so I can knock it out real quickly and you can return to your daily Tumblr browsing. I know that some of you have some rather good things to look at. I’m looking at you, Sherlock and Mycroft shippers.... let’s keep going.

Of course, once the trailer started, no one was really sure what this game was going to be, because it showed a bit of space, and nothing else really. My initial thought was actually Starfox because it’s one of the few Nintendo series that got love recently, but once the music started, I honestly knew for sure that this was Metroid. And then that 4 came into view, and I was actually in hysterics, because I knew for a fact that this was the announcement for Metroid Prime 4. I know right? That logo comes in view and - wait, it seems familiar - and then the subtitles comes up that it was now in development. Are Nintendo really going to - oh, yep. They are. That’s it. Somehow, that 40 second teaser was enough to satisfy every Metroid fan, or was it. I’m not so sure, so let’s take a look at a couple of points.

1. That logo looks vaguely familiar.

Before I get stuck into my first point, let me warn you that there will be a lot of back and forth to cover, because while I have a lot to cover, there is only 40 seconds, and I have already been told a lot from these brief moments. Let’s get started with the most obvious sign and one of the reasons why I am anxious about this game’s release window: the actual logo they used. I mean, the 4 is new, we all saw that, but the actual words Metroid Prime are not. Let’s go back ten years, when the final game in the trilogy was released. This is the logo that came with it.

Look familiar? It should, because that is the exact logo they used for the Prime 4 teaser. If you can ignore the fact that the ‘Prime’ has been enlarged and moved a bit, and the ‘Metroid’ shrunk, it’s clear that this was a rushed job probably to get the trailer for the Spotlight at E3, and which leads to my overall point.

2. No Retro Studios?

Another thing that makes me worry as a Prime fanboy is the fact that Retro Studios, known for creating the perfect trilogy ten years prior, are not involved in Metroid Prime 4 at all, and that a new team is working on it. While this is mostly fine for me, I’m all for a new team to work on the games, but has it worked for Halo? The results are pretty divided there. I just hope that the new team takes this new game into a different yet familiar direction, and not into Other M territory. And furthermore, what are Retro Studios working on? Must be a big new IP for Nintendo. This is about the new team, so if the results of Mass Effect Andromeda is any indication, this could be a sign of trouble, unless the new team is actually quite capable of doing their jobs to the best of their extents. Because this game has to get the official Nintendo Seal of Quality, right?

Oh, that’s right. Retro Studios basically said they were done with the Metroi series after Prime 3, so that’s fine. Yep.

3. Series Seller?

Let’s be realistic here, a large reason Nintendo kept this project on the ground is probably due to the fact that Metroid has never been a huge seller for them. Sure, the sales are alright overseas though nothing special, but in Japan, Metroid is actually not very highly regarded, so I suspect that low sales and interest in the franchise is what led to Nintendo trying a new direction for this series. And that was Other M. That game was received fairly well by critics, but it got probably the harshest response from fans over the world,which probably contributed to Nintendo pulling the franchise back. And yet despite this response, Nintendo apparently saw there was a need for the series to continue from fans. Let’s be straight here, either this is Nintendo actually continuing the series because there’s something new to do with it, or because they want t win some fans back to sell the Switch? Probably the latter.

4. Development, yes. but how long?

This is probably the most critical point I will make today, because let’s be realistic, the quick teaser was amazing to see, but that’s all it was, which kind of leads to my big point here. The logo, the new team, the selling point, it screams out to me that maybe this announcement was made too soon? Sure, we know that it’s in development now, and that’s great, but really, what we want to know is, how long has Metroid Prime 4 been in development for? Seeing the logo made in such a worryingly lazy way makes me think that it hasn’t been in development for very long, like they’ve only just started and we won’t be seeing the game for a few years yet. Worst case scenario is we’ll get it in 2020 - and it won’t be shown at all next year. Really, the only reason I think they showed this announcement this year at all, is because they knew fans were quite antsy for the new game, and they had to make this announcement the night before in Adobe After Effects.

It sounds like there was a catch 22 situation with this announcement that they had to consider, and there were two options. Either they would not announce it until they had more to show, and that would satisfy the fans much more, but at the same time they would lose a lot of fans because nothing was shown at E3 this year. Or they could announce it now, let fans know that yes it is coming to the Switch, and that would make everyone excited, but then that’d mean the wait is very long. And obviously, they went with the latter, when they could have so easily gone with the former. But really, going with the latter would not have hurt them at all, because look at what else was shown. We have a new Xenoblade Chronicles, a new Fire Emblem Warriors, and a new Sonic and Mario for this year. And to top it off, they had Yoshi and Kirby games for next year with actual gameplay. There was also a Pokemon announcement in there somewhere, which was directly before the Prime 4 announcement, so it feels weird that there’s two empty announcements between a mishmash of full gameplay reveals and trailer. And the same for Pokemon can be said here - the announcement feels like it was in response to the Pokemon Direct, where a sequel to Sun and Moon were announced for the 3DS, as well as Pokken DX for Switch.

5. Samus Returns!

I apologize for the literal wall of text that I made with the last point but the reason I did that is that it was the most substantial point I had to make, and really it tied into the next one I have, which is the further announcement that Samus Returns is coming to the 3DS, You heard that right, an official Nintendo remake is coming. And yes, it is a remake on Metroid 2: Return of Samus - which actually recently saw a fan remake released some time ago. Now, this is a bit problematic for me to talk about, because I honestly don’t want to anger the fans of that remake. Which... probably doesn’t matter anyway since there are already some salty people that wish to boycott Samus Returns. Why? Because that game is apparently not good enough for them, and that Nintendo should feel bad for doing this to a fan who spent ten years making a game based on content that Nintendo owns, and they have every right to DMCA or C and D, and make their own remake of. Those fans have nothing to be angry about - Samus Returns looks like it’s had a lot of work go into it, so that probably means it’s been in the works for some time, maybe even before the fan remake came out. T those fans, I saw please pull the sticks out of your asses, and be happy that Nintendo are giving one of their long dormant game series a reboot and a new game. It doesn’t matter that AM2R is free and can be downloaded right away, Samus Returns if an official product, and it should be supported as well.

They probably won’t listen, but that’s exactly my point. What if this 3DS remake is Nintendo’s way of gauging just how much interest there is in the actual Metroid franchise? It never sold very well, and the 3DS has 66 million users, so it stands to reason that they hope to see strong sales so they can decide how much Prime 4 gets in terms of development and funding. Which is a bit sad, but I’m excited for Samus Returns as well, and I’ve already preordered it. But honestly, it’s amazing to see Samus finally returning.

6. Story for Metroid Prime 4?

Finally, there is light at the end of the tunnel! I’m almost done, but I wanted to speculate a bit about how Metroid Prime 4 will be done. Federation Force was pretty much almost ignored by fans, but it did have an important after credits scene with Sylux and a little Metroid egg, which stands to reason that this could be the story for Prime 4. Even if it isn’t, there was also the post credits scene for Corruption, which featured Sylux’s ship. I might be certain that Sylux will be involved in Prime 4, in one way or another. Exciting, huh?

Well, that’s it for this long LONG post. Please leave a heart, comment me your thoughts as well, or even message me if you want to discuss~! Thanks so much for reading, and I will see you in the next review.

OH, and I am planning to make this a video as well, let me know if that is a good idea.

E3 2017

While this show has been predictably underwhelming, there are some games I'm excited about. Some that I'm cautiously optimistic about. And a bunch that I don't care about that won't be mentioned. I'm not going to rate the different press conferences. Everybody had games. I like games and will play some of these new games. In alphabetical order: Beyond Good and Evil 2 I've only played a bit of the first game, but I know it's made a favorable impression on people. This reveal was unexpected; as were the superfluous f-bombs that flowed from the mouths of pigs and monkeys. I'm surprised that the art style is realistic now and I'm hoping the game isn't reliant on cussing. Because this was just a CG trailer, I'm not expecting to see the actual game for at least two more years. Cuphead Even though I've read that Cuphead aims to be brutally hard on purpose (which makes me not want to play it), I can't help but love the art style of Cuphead. I've always liked the look of those old cartoons from the 1930s and 40s that you'd see on Pee Wee's Playhouse during the King of Cartoons segments. I just hope that I end up enjoying playing the game as much as looking at it. Destiny 2 I wasn't expecting to be interested in this game at all given that I don't care one iota about the first game, but from the recent reveal that was hosted by Luke Smith, I've come around. The way they've talked about how people who prefer single player experiences will still be able to enjoy all of the content of the game with no real commitment to online clans and whatnot was like a message specifically for me. The news that it would be on PC pushed me over the edge. Dragon Ball Fighter Z This game looks fun even though I'm not a Dragon Ball Z guy (I like the OG Dragon Ball cartoon a lot and the first season of Z, but I find the rest of the franchise to be pretty dumb). The art style is on point, but all of the recent DBZ games have nailed Akira Toriyama's art style with beautiful cel shaded models. If it plays like a Capcom fighting game (and maybe has a half speed mode), then I think I might pick this one up. God of War (2018) I like the new direction God of War is going in. I think "mature" is an apt descriptor in terms of story, tone, and gameplay. I thought the PS2 franchise was just OK, but this looks far better and like it won't have any eye rolling moments that involve pushing a button to have an orgy. Horizon Zero Dawn DLC: The Frozen Wilds I've got a copy of the vanilla game just waiting to be played as soon as I get a PS4 this holiday season. So sure, I'm interested in new terrain and content for a game that already looks badass. Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle I guess this is kind of Final Fantasy Tactics with Mario and Minions, er, Rabbids? I don't care for them Rabbids, but this could potentially be fun. (Also weird to see Mario with a gun... the guy can throw fireballs, hammers, and boomerangs you know.) Marvel VS Capcom Infinite I don't know about story mode for this game... I'm also not seeing any X-Men or Dr. Doom and that makes me nervous. I hope this game doesn't end up like Street Fighter V; I hope it's strong out of the gate, but Capcom doesn't inspire hope. Maybe in several years this game will be everything I want it to be, but at launch things are already looking sketchy. Metroid Prime 4 and Metroid: Samus Returns OK, OK, OK... Please, please, please be good! (Thanks for listening, Nintendo!) Moss Mouse Guard maybe? I'm cautious about this being a VR game and am wondering if this will be a better story than a game, but the trailer was a nice little breath of fresh air. Ni No Kuni 2: Revenant Kingdom I think the first Ni No Kuni was underrated and Ni No Kuni 2 is coming out at a time where I could really use something that's kind and goodhearted. With the second game coming to PC, I'm hoping that the first game also makes its way there. Ori and the Will of the Wisps I've yet to play Ori 1, but that doesn't leave me any less intrigued by Ori 2. I love Super Metroid-style games (such as Axiom Verge) and the Ori games look marvelous. Pokemon (Switch, 2018) Nothing is known except that we should "please look forward to it". I have lots of big dreams for a new Pokemon game. Will those dreams come to fruition? Probably not. But here are my hopes: it contains the entire world of Pokemon (not just one set of islands), it revamps and simplifies the various stat systems (goodbye IVs!), breeding and trading are as easy as X/Y and OR/AS, Pokemon Bank integration, minimal forced tutorials, have only one version of the game, and have Pokemon retain all learned moves but have it so that they can only equip four moves at a time from their list of moves. Sonic Forces and Sonic Mania Forces is basically a sequel to Sonic Generations which I actually quite enjoyed (until the later levels which paid homage to newer Sonic games). Sonic Mania is the much hyped game that takes all its cues from the classic Sega Genesis Sonic games. I'm stunned that there are not one but two new Sonic games that I'm looking forward to. Will wonders ever cease? South Park: The Fractured But Whole I enjoyed Stick of Truth a lot and even though I don't think Obsidian is behind this new game, it seems like it will be very similar. Spider-Man (Insomniac Games, 2018) This game looks spectacular -- amazing even! (Excelsior!) This game basically looks like the Batman Arkham games through the brighter, more vibrant lens of Spider-Man as brought to you by the guys who have gave us Ratchet and Clank. This has the potential to be not just the best Spider-Man game ever but maybe even one of the best super hero games. If I get to face off against a bunch of Spidey's classic foes and there's a good story to it, then from the looks of things I'll be pretty happy. Super Lucky's Tale Sure, I'll support playing new platformers that aren't Mario. The style for this one intrigues me. Even if it turns out to be a B level Rare wannabe, that's still more interesting to me than more games with guns and zombies. Uncharted: The Lost Legacy I'm still confused about this one. Is this DLC for Uncharted 4 or a whole new $60 game? At any rate, I love Uncharted and I'm cool with playing characters that aren't Nathan Drake for a change. So those are the games from this E3 that I'm interested in. I'll wrap up by talking a bit about Nintendo. I wish that Super Mario Odyssey wasn't so... weird. I'm sure it's the number one complaint that the different art styles are incongruous. I also don't like that hat. And I especially don't like the Super Mario Sunshine vibes I'm getting (Sunshine being my least favorite Mario game of all time). Odyssey comes off more like the direct to DVD version of Mario; it just feels tremendously off and like it doesn't have the Mario A Team behind it. I wish that Metroid: Samus Returns used 2D sprites. The ugly 3D already looks worse than AM2R, but I guess I can't look a gift horse in the mouth. Yoshi and Kirby... are pleasant but toothless. I wish they were a little more engaging and less sedate. I want a platformer with a challenge and depth more along the lines of the original Yoshi's Island or Donkey Kong Country 2. Trust me, young children can handle that level of challenge. I don't care anything about ARMS or Splatoon or Pokken... Breath of the Wild DLC was underwhelming. I was hoping for a quest to make weapons unbreakable (because fuck weapon degradation) or some new dungeons or regions. Happy E3, everybody!