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bg-brainrot · 2 days

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To Be Known (Astarion x GN!Tav)

Featuring: Astarion x Rogue!Tav

Series: Fits into Love at First Knife, AO3 link here

Summary: Astarion reads a book and wonders what it means to be known.

Tags: Astarion's POV, POV Second Person, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Fluff, Comfort, Vampire Spawn Astarion, set in Act 3 but pre-Cazador, Astarion is Bad at Feelings,

A/N: Disclaimer up top: I'm not abandoning any of my other fic! Promise! Just trying to get over a tough month and get back into the swing of things :'D

Also, based on the quote: “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is like being loved by God.” (disclaimer: I’m not religious, and I know this quote comes in a few different forms, but google told me about this version so I stuck to it.)

Word count: ~2.1k

“To be fully known and truly loved is as if you are loved by the gods,” Astarion reads aloud, to no one in particular.

A silence follows, wherein his mind repeats the words he’s just read, absorbing none of them. To be fully known and truly loved… The words don’t seem to stick.

Finally deciding that the sentence isn’t worth his effort, he tosses the book onto his bedroll with a groan. “What rubbish.”

Outside of this author's haughty approach to prose, Astarion doesn’t particularly care to think too deeply about what it means to be loved– especially by any godsforsaken deities.

He has only just come around to the idea of love, not that he’s said the word ‘love’ to you just yet. It felt too much, too heavy a word to carry considering all of the other burdens the two of you bore between you. But the idea of it? Well, he was warming up to it. And with every moment shared between you, he believes he may be warming up all the more.

But what does being known have to do with love? No, that concept has him pulling his brows together, getting up from his bedroll and putting distance between himself and the drivel that Gale had recommended to him.

That’s what I get for listening to the damned wizard’s tastes, he thinks, shaking his head slightly. Some philosophical prattle, just as verbose as he is.

But even as he stands, brushes himself off, shoves the book away to the furthest corner of his tent before he makes to leave, the question of being known never escapes him.

What does it even mean to be known? he wonders, now lost in thought as he emerges from his tent. How could anyone know me, after all I’ve been through… do I even know who I am anymore?

The idea hangs over him, trails him like a storm cloud as he begins stalking about the camp you’ve all set up in the outskirts of Rivington. He’s not sure where his feet are leading him other than away– away from the distasteful book, away from away from your knowing gaze, which would only pry his thoughts out of him.

Much to Astarion’s disappointment, the trail he takes doesn’t stop the winding path his thoughts have taken.

Have I ever been known? he wonders, vaguely registering the breeze in his hair and the distant sounds of running water as he travels further and further from camp.

Perhaps I was once upon a time, but I could hardly be expected to remember now, could I? The thought is bitter and unwelcome, though likely true. He brusquely swats a branch out of his way and continues into a bramble unrepentantly. Gods, how can he bring himself to care about something as trifling as nature when he’s quite busily lost in thought right now, thank-you-very-much.

Astarion releases a sigh as he finally fights his way into a copse of trees. Secluded, finally.

Alone.

With his thoughts.

Which won’t seem to quiet despite the soft chittering of small animals, nor the sickly sweet smell of flowers in the air.

Why are some pitiful poet’s ‘words of wisdom’ even bothering me? he thinks as he lowers himself onto the trunk of a fallen tree. What’s even the use in being known?

Astarion crosses his legs in front of him, watching with narrowed eyes as his boots press into the soft grass, crushing it easily. There is no use to being known, he decides as he presses harder with one foot and the grass is further flattened. To wish that is…

His foot twists down even more firmly.

Pathetic, Astarion thinks, lifting his boot back up to see his handiwork. The grass lies flat, thoroughly smashed by him. This world is simply about being the one who tramples, and not the one being trampled.

That thought oddly comforts him. He knows the push and pull of power well enough– this dynamic is second nature to him. Like an old, threadbare blanket, it wraps around his shoulders, providing no warmth, but plenty of familiar reassurance.

It’s moments later that the blanket is wrenched from him and he’s laid bare once more, under the startling sunlight of your attention.

“Astarion?”

Your voice pierces through his thoughts, and his instinctual answering emotions are new to him. Surprise. Elation. Relief.

The vampire had been utterly unprepared to hear your voice, convinced he’d found a spot away from you all. Convinced that you wouldn’t be here with your thoughtful gaze– not now, while he’s still busy sorting through a myriad of questions. But he still can’t deny the way he welcomes your presence.

He suspects that your perceptive gaze can easily catch that, despite the way his shoulder’s tense and the way his head turns away, his ears still tilt back toward you, ready for your next words.

“Astarion, there you are,” you say. He hears the same emotions he feels in your voice. How odd it feels to be mirrored by you. He can’t deny enjoying that either. “What’s the matter? When I couldn’t find you around camp, I thought the worst might have happened."

The man scoffs, trying his best to sound unaffected by your sudden arrival, refusing to meet your inquiring gaze. “And what, pray tell, did you assume could have happened?”

“We’re practically at the Gate, Astarion. Anything could have happened. Need I remind you what happened to Dribbles?” you respond, voice tight with worry.

Ah yes. The dead clown. “It will take more than a shapeshifter to take me out, darling,” he retorts, still refusing to turn toward you, now dutifully inspecting his nails.

You let out a small huff of disapproval. “And what about Cazador?”

“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” Astarion replies, though the thought of being caught unawares by Cazador bristles at him. If he did get caught, it would be entirely Gale’s fault for lending him that book… He shakes his head of white curls and continues, “Besides, I barely got more than a few dozen yards away before you came chasing after me. I could hardly be in any real danger.”

When you sigh, he finally turns to face you. The expression you give him then isn’t frustration, nor anger– it’s an unusual mixture of worry and… joy? “I couldn’t help but chase. Would it be pathetic to say that I miss you when you’re gone for too long?” you respond.

He’s not sure he has an answer to that.

Especially when he feels pathetic for how light his undead heart feels at the statement.

Astarion drops his head, avoiding your gaze, and hoping you don’t catch the startled happiness on his face.

When it’s clear he doesn’t have a response for you, you change the subject as you close the distance between you, “So, what brought you out here?”

“Nothing,” he replies, too easily. You know it’s a lie. He knows that you know it.

“Nothing, eh?” you ask, finding a seat next to him on the fallen tree. “What about that nothing has you running into the woods?”

“I was not running,” he defends, with a click of his tongue. “I was taking a brisk stroll.”

“Fine then,” you relent, elbowing his arm gently. “What about it led to a ‘brisk stroll’?”

There’s no use hiding from them, is there? he thinks, leaning back on the trunk. “I’ll tell you,” he begins, staring out into a bush. “But only if you answer a question for me.”

“Anything,” you say, and he can feel your shrug on his arm.

“Who am I, really?”

You still. Astarion had expected no less. After all, it’s not an easy question to answer– even for him. He’s putting quite a lot of undue pressure onto you with the question, it’s selfish really… but he can’t help but want to be selfish around you.

So he lets the question settle into the silence.

When you finally speak, your voice is crisp in the muted sounds of the clearing. “Promise you won’t care for me any less after I answer you?”

Astarion snaps his head back at you, his mouth turning down in a frown. “Well that depends, my dear. What are you planning to say?”

“Promise?” you press.

As if he could care any less for you– he would have done so already if he could. “I promise,” he murmurs reluctantly. “Now, please, the suspense is really too much.”

“You are Astarion,” you start, reaching out for his hand. He cautiously places his in yours, unable to hide the twitch of a smile as your warm fingers lock with his. “You’re a beautiful, elven vampire, with silver hair, and red eyes. You’re talented, witty, and…”

Your voice trails off, and Astarion can’t help but wonder why you’d been so hesitant to answer. So far, he is loving this answer.

“And you’re an absolute arse at times.”

“Excuse me?” he gasps, moving to pull his hand out of yours.

You don’t release it, but you do continue, “You laugh at the misfortune of others, you steal, you lie, you cheat at games, you can be incredibly selfish.”

“Darling, are we certain you care about me after all this?” he grumbles, giving up on fighting your grip on him as your words wash over him. He knows all of this, of course, has been entirely unashamed of it all before… but it feels different when you say it. When you lay it out plainly before him.

“Yes,” you answer quickly, tugging on his hand gently. “Because all of that makes you you. And, personally, I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

He blinks at you, confused on how you arrived at this conclusion.

“You are so unabashedly you, love. And I adore that. I know it might not feel like it after all you’ve been through… but you are still yourself. No one has been able to take that from you.”

Now Astarion stares at your intertwined hands, wondering if he deserves such impassioned, absurd words said in his defense. His voice comes quietly when he asks his next questions, “And how do I know that’s who I have always been? Who I was meant to be?”

You bring his hand up to your lips, pressing a soft, warm kiss before you continue, “Astarion, I don’t know what might have bothered you, but I want you to know that, no matter what it was, you’re amazing as the man you are. Whoever you were, whoever you think you were meant to be, you should be proud of who you are now. And… once we deal with Cazador, I hope you have the chance to rediscover that man.”

Astarion hadn’t meant this to be some kind of journey of self-discovery– really, he’d only been irked by the needless philosophy of the book Gale had lent him. But, hearing you say those words, it feels as if some weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

Worry, he realizes. Of losing who he was, of course, but also of being utterly, desolately unknown. Naturally he needn’t have worried because here you are, ready and willing to understand him. To accept and care for him, even while knowing him, flaws and all.

Maybe being known wasn’t such a burden. Not if it were by you.

“Yes, well,” he begins, suddenly unsure what to say to your earnest words. “Thank you for that, I think. Though, really, I could have done without all of the barbs. It feels like I've been struck by psychic damage.” Astarion gives a dramatic head loll, averting his flustered face.

You laugh and squeeze his hand. “Well, it’s a good thing I have no clue how to deal psychic damage, but I’ll be sure to get Gale right over if you need a good jostle to the brain.”

Gale’s done enough of that, Astarion thinks. But he doesn’t say so to you. Instead, the man simply shakes his head. “I’m quite alright. Speaking of the rest of those fools, they’ve likely begun to burn the camp down without us. Shall we head back?”

While the trek to the clearing had been filled with spiraling thoughts and matters of the self, Astarion finds that the journey back is filled with far more soft touches and kisses– Not that he minds.

In fact, he thinks with a smile, as you both walk together, practically falling into each others’ arms. Maybe this was who I was meant to be all along.

That night, once he’s settled back into his tent for bed, Astarion reads the passage once more, “To be fully known and truly loved is as if you are loved by the gods.”

Astarion is certainly no closer to believing in the gods’ willingness or ability to love him, but he could hardly care. No, he suspects that he knows what a god’s love is– after all, if you truly love him, fangs, scars, and all… well, that may very well be divine.

#astarion #astarion x tav #fanfic #astarion fic #astarion x reader #rogue + rogue #astarion fanfiction #astarion fanfic #astarion fluff #astarion x gn reader #astarion x gn!tav #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion is bad at feelings #astarion comfort #spawn astarion #astarion pov

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pomefioredove · 2 days

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Hello!! Hopefully I'm not bothering by sending this, but can I request hurt/comfort headcanons with Deuce and any other character you choose with a gn!s/o who's recently gotten glasses and is feeling particularly insecure/self-conscious about it? (Totally not because I just recently got glasses-) There's no pressure to do this though, your health and happiness are what's most important overall ^ ^. Also, your writing is so fudging good, short to read so it doesn't clog up everything while still being really descriptive and fun to read through!! But anyways, stay safe and healthy 💜💜!!

HI ANON! first of all thank you so so much <3 I've needed glasses since I was in middle school, I totally get how weird the experience is. I've been wearing contacts for a few years now tho :)

summary: an s/o with glasses type of post: headcanons characters: deuce additional info: romantic, established relationship, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu, this is short, maybe a little ooc

his first thought?

"Oh... cute"

glasses are pretty attractive on their own, but on you, it's like a whole new level of endearing

it's hard for him to put into words, but something about them just... highlight your best features

they make you look interesting, elegant, pretty...

and so, yeah, he's more than surprised to hear you're feeling insecure about them

he doesn't... really get it at first?

it honestly might take him a little time to understand, but after talking to you, he starts to see it from your perspective

it's a big change, plus, it can alter your image

...as in, the way people perceive you

(he knows a thing or two about that)

so he totally gets where the stress comes from

first, he reassures you that he doesn't think of you any differently

(and, if anything, he actually likes the look quite a lot)

and then he makes sure to add that if anyone tries to give you trouble, they'll have to go through him first

"But, um, not like that! I just meant I'd talk to them about it!"

and he'll provide you with all the comfort and reassurance in the world until you're feeling more confident

he takes his boyfriend duties very seriously, after all

#twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #queued #deuce spade x reader

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waterfallofspace · 11 months

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Old Habits and New Friends.

The one where Y/osano has a cold, and learns how to be okay with this 'weakness' showing in front of her coworkers family. In turn, she learns a bit more about how much they care for her.

So I've been thinking about the beloved bringer of life doctor a lot. She's haunting in every sense and I adore her. Thus, this was born. There's quite a lot of 'character dynamic study' things in this, just fair warning! I love thinking about 'A/DA as a Family' Things <3

Characters: Y/osano, R/anpo, D/azai, K/unikida, F/ukuzawa (briefly) and no ships, this is all platonic-family things <3 Word Count: 2.9k

(References to Y/osano's backstory so slight spoiler warning)

~~~~~~~

As she stands outside the offices of the Armed Detective Agency, Yosano allows herself to take a moment. A gloved hand rubs her nose, trying to fend off the cold that’s been attempting to break her all week. Sickness isn’t a common occurrence for her, but it’s not incredibly rare either. She bites back a cough as she reaches for the handle of the door, sliding into the office with confidence she isn’t quite feeling.

The room is mostly empty, the only other person visible being Ranpo. He’s seated at his desk, munching on some ‘candy of the week’ and scanning the paper. ‘Likely hunting for cases. He managed to irritate the police again so they haven’t come to him for a few days. Seems he’s getting bored.’ Her presence isn’t addressed, though there’s no doubt he knows she’s here.

Another prickle works its way through her chest, barely being contained by a quick throat clear. Pointing herself towards her office, Yosano allows her gait to border on running as she glides towards the safe embrace of privacy. Being sick has never been something she was fond of, even before Mori.

She’s always had the mentality of ‘fight through it, don’t show weakness’. Mori certainly didn’t help with that, stoking her strong personality right alongside the fear of being weak. Even with the ADA, she’d managed to distance if sickness emerged, or fight off anything before it could progress past a mild cold.

“Yosano?”

Freezing, she allows the hope of a clean escape to fizzle away, pasting a smile onto her face as she turns to face Ranpo. ‘Hopefully he just wants a little praise, or help picking a case. Something simple I can finish quickly before he notices I’m… unwell.’ The thought is pointless, he’s been aware from the minute he saw her. She knows this just as much as him. Still, denial is a powerful drug if you want to believe it strongly enough.

“Yes, Ranpo?”

“Help me with these cases. They’re just all so boring! Not worth the trip, I could solve them from here. Is it so much to ask for something interesting to happen?”

“Let me have a look. Hm, what about this one? Three people vanished from the-”

“The most boring of them all! It’s so obvious that it was the ferry captain, and they’ll all be returned safely within the week, it’s some insurance thing.”

“I see. Well then, ma- hehh… maybe the car crash?”

“Open and shut, he was on his phone and fled the scene. He’ll turn himself in tomorrow, the guilt weighing on him. Next!”

“There’s also th- the… hh’keshh-! hk’yieshh’iee-! ih’keshh’ieu-! Excuse me, sorry.”

She ducks into her arm for the fit, turning as far from Ranpo as possible. When she spins back with the apology falling off her tongue, Ranpo has leaned forward, eyes showing under the brim of his hat. He’s looking her over in a way she’s painfully familiar with: studying her. After a moment he lets the nonchalant look rest over his face once more, eyes ducking back under his hat.

“It’s fine. Unlike my boredom. Find me an interesting case, I’m running out of snacks!”

“Is that how we ask for things?”

“Mmm… fine. Please find me an interesting case.”

“Better. I mean- it’s quite difficult since you’re so talented at solving them but… hold on- ek’teshh’ieu-! Scuse me. Maybe this one?”

“That one is al- oh actually, I didn’t see that one before.”

“You’re welcome then. So is it worthy of your-”

Breaking off, Yosano spins around again, aiming the cough towards her arm once more. She lets her thoughts wander as it pours out. ‘Damn it, I was hoping to hold out a little longer. This cold might be stronger than I gave it credit for, but I’m still tougher. I can take it.’ Ranpo has remained silent, but as she turns back he meets her gaze with a smile.

“You want a candy?”

“No, I’m okay. Thank you though.”

“I think you should have a candy. It’s exactly what you need right now.”

“Well alright, since you insist…”

Grin forming, Ranpo reaches into his desk and pulls out a bright wrapper, holding it out in his palm. A blush creeps across Yosano’s face as she recognizes the brand of cough drop. She takes it, turning it over between her fingers before popping it in her mouth. In an effort to change the topic from the direction it’s steering in, she dawns a playful smirk.

“You shouldn’t be eating these like sweets, you know. They’re not bad for you, but they are still medicine.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t snack on them. I just keep them around in case…”

“Good to hear. And uh… thank you, Ranpo.”

“No problem!”

The innocent tone is a comfort and she offers a smile in return. The taste of honey offers a soothing relief against her throat, but does nothing for the buzzing in her nose. Rubbing a finger against it, she allows a single sniff before dropping her hand again. She chews up the cough drop, surprise crossing her features as Ranpo lets out a laugh.

“I thought I was the only one who did that!”

“Did what..?”

“Chewed them up. You’re supposed to suck on them, but I’ve always liked chewing them.”

“Oh, yeah! Actually… you are supposed to let them linger. It’s better for you that way, you get to absorb more of the effects, but I’ve never had the patience for thhahh… that. hH’ieshh’iue-! hk’eshhii-! ek’zieshh’ieu-!”

“Shouldn’t you be at home resting?”

The laughter they had been sharing fades immediately. Her body language veers to defensive, arms crossing over her chest. The change doesn’t go unnoticed by Ranpo as he sits up in the chair, head tilting down to meet her eyes. All smiles are gone, instead her face is tight, a tense calm resting over it as Ranpo offers something unreadable.

“I’m fine to work.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t. I asked if you should be resting.”

“No. I don’t need to rest, I’m f- fine… hh’eNG’shh-! ek’tnngt-!”

“Hey… you don’t need to do that.”

“Do- hn’tngt-! what?”

“You know what I mean. There’s no need to do that, okay?”

Yosano pales a little, but gives a tight nod as she feels the tickle swell once more. ‘It’s okay. It’s okay with Ranpo, it’s… it’s okay.’ She lets the words repeat in her head, arms slowly uncrossing as she raises one to her face, leaning away from Ranpo again.

“hk’iESHh’ihh-! heh’KSHHii-! heh- kn’TIEZSHhh’iue-!”

Without a word Ranpo abruptly stands, starting to walk towards the couch. He gestures for her to follow, and with a hint of hesitation, she does. Once they reach it, Ranpo sits first, choosing a position at one end of it, before motioning next to him. She follows the direction once more, still hesitant, trying to figure out where this is going.

She sinks down onto the couch, posture tight, each muscle tensing. ‘What is he going for here… is he trying to put me at ease? It’s not working if so… b- but that’s not like him. There’s got to be some goal. Some plan he’s putting to work based on deductions about me and my health. Maybe he’s-’ Before she can finish the thought a sensation rips her from the spiral.

Ranpo has one hand running down her back, calm eyes peeking out from behind his hat. It’s as if he’s waiting for her reaction before continuing. She lets herself go limp, releasing the tension that had been gripping her. A small smile slips over his features, his other hand coming up and guiding her head down to his shoulder. Before she can process the change, she finds herself relaxing into his touch.

“I’m gonna keep looking for cases. You are gonna rest.”

“You’re not the boss of me.”

Even as the words form on her lips she feels her eyes flutter shut, leaning deeper into Ranpo’s shoulder. True to his word, he begins rambling about cases, explaining the ones that are too easy, and pondering on the ones he’d need to see the scene to figure out. Yosano lets herself drift into the sounds of the office, worry fading away.

~~~

After a few minutes the door slams open, Dazai waltzing in. He freezes at the sight of them, hands in his pockets as he surveys the scene. Yosano pops up quickly, careful to tighten her expressions once more as she feigns nonchalance, letting her legs cross and one arm droop over the couch. The safety she felt with Ranpo has evaporated, her relationship with Dazai not solid enough to allow it to remain.

Weakness has never been something she’s okay with others seeing, and Ranpo was the first it truly felt okay with. Dazai though… while she doesn’t dislike the man, she’s hesitant to let him see her in that state.

‘I see Mori in him sometimes… Just- in the small things. The way he carries himself, how he plans, the expressions he’ll choose to wear. Though… I often wonder if he feels the same about me. I know he isn’t the same, and I shouldn’t be treating him like he is… but…’

She lets her eyes drift to his face, expecting some form of taunt to spill out at any time. Instead, much to her surprise, his usually unreadable expression softens and without a word he places himself on the free side of her.

Her gaze tracks each movement, hand raising to her mouth as another cough starts to break through. Through it all, Dazai remains silent, posture very cautiously relaxed in that deeply rehearsed method she’s all too familiar with.

The coughing tampers off, the itch in her nose taking this as a perfect time to re-emerge. For a minute she considers suppressing it, but Ranpo’s hand still gently rubbing her back provides enough comfort to let it out against her arm.

“hh’KSHH’iee-! hk’ESHH’iue-! hahhh- tnSHH’ihh-! ‘Scuse me.”

“Bless you.”

“Th- thank you.”

The blessing comes as a surprise, and she finds herself thanking him out of instinct. She still holds a reasonable amount of caution, but there’s something… almost soft about the expression he’s wearing. As she lets out another sniffle, he points a measured look in her direction, before muttering something.

“Sorry, didn’t quite catch that?”

There’s a noticeable pause as Dazai’s cheeks gain a hint more colour than before. He raises his gaze to meet hers, and clears his throat before speaking again. Yosano can’t help but feel a rush of protectiveness as the voice that comes out sounds almost timid.

“I just asked if you were feeling okay?”

Yosano wants to say yes. Everything inside her is screaming to say yes. ‘Deny till the very end, don’t show weakness, don’t admit flaws. Tell him that you’re fine, and then be fine. We don’t tolerate weakness in our soldiers.’ But… something about the cautious look on his normally collected face washes every image of Mori from her mind.

Dazai is nothing like him, no, he’s just like her. Taken in way too young by a person with no intentions of saving them. Never given the chance to be anything other than what he planned for.

She had managed to find something special here; to become someone special here. Someone that’s good, and kind, and her. And watching Dazai’s actions since he joined… seeing the look on his face now… well, maybe he’s trying to find that too.

“Not really. I have a bit of a cold. hih’ISHhiee-! aisHH’iew-! hk’SHH’iue-! hh’KSHH’ih-!”

“Bless you.”

“Wow, even I couldn’t get her to admit to illness out loud.”

Up until now Ranpo had remained silent, watching the interaction play out. However, upon her admittance, he gives a low noise, somewhere between a chuckle and a gasp. At the statement Yosano turns to him, Dazai’s eyes following suit, and gives him a light smack.

“Hey! That hurt…”

“Oh really? Are you- injured now? Because I can certainly help with that if youuu…”

“No! No, no I think I’m okay.”

Laughter bubbles from her chest as she lets her head dip to rest once more against Ranpo’s shoulder. Dazai joins in with a light chuckle of his own, leaning back into the couch. Not a minute passes until Yosano’s sitting up again, another set of sneezes tumbling out into her waiting arm.

“hh’KSHHiee-! aiiyshhh’iue-! hehh’tizshh’iue-! Excuse me.”

“Bless. Hang on.”

With that Dazai stands up, walking over to his desk and starting to aggressively rummage through the drawers. Ranpo and Yosano watch it unfold, neither sure what he’s doing, until he returns, triumphantly holding a pack of tissues above his head.

“Thought you might want these!”

“I didn’t know you kept tissues in your desk?”

“Yeah, well… never know when they might come in useful. Placing them in Kunikida’s belongings when he comes in with the sniffles is particularly fun.”

“You’ve done- hH’TSHH’iee-! ‘Scuse me. Done that before?”

“Of course! This one time I bought a bunch of identical packs, then kept leaving one on his chair in the same exact position every time he left the room! When he asked, I always said I didn’t know what he meant. Ended up going home early cause he was sure he was losing his mind!”

By this point Ranpo is leaning against Yosano, the couch shaking with laughter. Dazai shoots them a wicked smile, tossing the pack at the couch, which she catches easily. Attempting to suppress laughter of her own, she wears a fake glare, pointing it first at Dazai before turning it to Ranpo.

“Boys, that’s not nice.”

“Maybe not, but it sure is hilarious. Besides, he’s the one who forces me to do paperwork on a weekend! Way I see it, he’s asking for a little torment.”

Yosano just sighs, pulling a few tissues out as she directs another “hih’KSHH’ihh-! tiezshh’iue-! hk’ISHH’iee-!” into the soft folds before lightly blowing. Grimacing at the quality of it, she coughs a few times before sucking it up and blowing again.

Ranpo gives her a sympathetic smile before turning back to the paper, dead to the world once more as he surveys cases. Yosano turns her attention back to Dazai as he drops back onto the couch beside her.

“That was gross, sorry…”

“Don’t worry about it. You should hear me in the spring.”

“You have allergies? I… ih’KSHH’iee-! I never noticed-”

“Bless you. You wouldn’t have. I take meds most of the time, or if it’s a really bad pollen day I tend to just avoid the office. Hah! It drives Kunikida insane.”

“Does it now?”

“He still doesn’t know why I don’t come in during the spring on seemingly random days! I make sure to pick a few days where pollen is low too so he can’t track the pattern. I also make up excuses that he can tell are lies, but can’t actively disprove!”

There’s a deep seated glee in his voice as he describes all the details of how he torments Kunikida. Yosano can’t help smirking at the boyish nature of the teasing. It’s cut short by another coughing spell, ducking down into her lap.

This time she feels two hands grazing her back. One is absentmindedly rubbing circles, the other is hesitant but gentle. A yawn escapes as it comes to an end, Ranpo looking up from the paper.

“I told you so! I said you should be resting!”

“Yes you did. Right as always Ranpo. I guess… I should probably go home…”

‘But… I don’t really want to… Home is empty. It always feels cold, even with the heat on. But here… with them… this feels warm…’ She doesn’t say any of this out loud, but there’s no need for that. They both know. While Dazai may not have Ranpo’s deduction skills, he sees more than most.

Slowly they start to shift positions until her head is resting against Ranpo’s lap, her legs strewn over Dazai as he slides in next to Ranpo, echoing her earlier yawn. ‘That man is able to fall asleep anywhere. I’m quite jealous of that skill.’ Letting her tension start to fade away, Yosano feels a sigh escape. She melts into the warm embrace, drifting off to sleep. Dazai quickly follows suit, his head dropping onto Ranpo’s shoulder.

~~~

About an hour later the door swings open once more, this time Kunikida stepping inside. At the sight of Yosano and Dazai sleeping, he opens his mouth to make a remark. Ranpo shuts him down with a single look, tilting his head to let his eyes show once more. He’s careful not to disturb them, quiet as he begins to speak.

“Don’t wake them. They need this.”

“But-”

Kunikida cuts himself off, pushing up his glasses as he seems to sort through his ideals in his head. Ranpo patiently waits, letting his arm rest against Dazai’s shoulder as the younger man shifts. Eventually the peaceful look on their faces seems to sway Kunikida as he grabs a book and sinks down beside Dazai, beginning to read it. Yosano stirs, a few sleepy sneezes brushing from her lips.

“hh’ishh-! kishhh-! heh’tieshh-!”

“Bless.”

The blessing Kunikida offers is timid, volume matching that of the sneezes. A smirk crosses Ranpo’s face as he watches Kunikida attempt to keep his face neutral. Yosano mumbles a thanks before curling back into herself and drifting back off.

~~~

By the time the president walks in, he finds all four of them asleep, a tangled mess of limbs and snores. They should be working, it’s nearly two on a Thursday, but he can’t bring himself to wake them. Content spreads through his heart, a smile breaking through to his face as he grabs a blanket from beside the couch and lays it over them.

“Sleep well, children.”

#waterfallwrites #this is SO wordy im so sorry hahaha~#its also a lot less dialogue focused than my work usually is #so hopefully its still enjoyable #i tried to make sure the paragraphs were a manageable length #aNYWAYS point is- i love their dynamics and poni's yosano drawing got me THINKING sooooo #here this is #thank you to anyone who bothers to read this!#and i hope you enjoy if you do~~#b/sd #y/osano #snz #snzkink #snzfic

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all-thestories-aretrue · 1 year

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There are many jokes floating around the shadowgast nation about the nature of Caleb and Essek's relationship (eggplants and winky faces abound), and most of them are good natured and perhaps true (eventually or at some point). I find most of them entertaining and sweet, but some of what I have stumbled across post-reunion have highlighted that it's only a joke up to a certain point to me.

Please keep in mind that everything in this post is my opinion and my opinion only. I'm not asking that anyone agree with me. This post is mainly for me because I felt like I needed to make it.

I have seen several comments/posts/tags in many different places talking about Essek and Caleb and that scene in the reunion, and describing it as horny or saying they can't keep their hands off each other or following up that conversation with sexual intimacy. I know a lot of these comments or conversations are not malicious or ill-intentioned, and I understand that people are excited for the first new content in nearly 2 years.

But, one thing I have appreciated about Critical Role is the variety of sexuality and genders represented, including various asexual and aromantic identities. Essek is confirmed by Matt on Twitter to be demi (romantic or sexual is unclear to me so it could be taken as either. If anyone has any other sources I would greatly appreciate them). As someone who identifies as aspec, I deeply appreciate the representation that Critical Role has given me.

The shadowgast scene in the reunion was not sexual to me. It's only been six months since the end of c2, which granted, I have not completed yet. As of this writing, I am in the middle of episode 133. Whatever is going on between Caleb and Essek is still very new, especially for two people who thought they would never have love. An aspect of being demi is that it takes time and closenes and a strong emotional bond for romantic and/or sexual feelings to develop. Six months, to me, feels like an incredibly short time for those feelings to take root for Essek even if he is on the path of developing them.

Seeing people make light of Essek's sexual attraction or feelings for Caleb or treat them as common place or casual, even innocuously, has made me feel as though this aspect of Essek really is ignored or forgotten about sometimes. Not by everyone nor, I would even doubt, the majority. Maybe not intentionally or maliciously or maybe it's a lack of understanding about demisexuality or aspec identities.

This is a feeling I have had for a while, and I mean this about nothing in particular but rather a sum of the parts I have encountered over the months.

In addition, I think Essek's sexuality can be overshadowed by how sexual Caleb can be/is. He makes comments throughout the entirety of the campaign that directly or indirectly reveal his sexuality, and that part is clearly important to him, even if he has not acted on it in a very long time.

I am not saying that Essek is NOT sexually attracted to Caleb or that their relationship does not involve sex at some point or at the time of that scene. I do think, at the very least, that Caleb and Essek would have a conversation about it as some point, and I find it likely it would turn sexual. At the very least, Caleb is attracted to Essek. Liam has confirmed that. I would guess those feelings are a combination of romantic, sexual, platonic, etc.

But I cannot imagine, and again this is my opinion, that feeling sexual attraction or acting on it for the perhaps first or second, maybe third time, is not a life-altering moment for him, let alone acting on it. From what see of his character, he's extrmely gaurded, extremely lonely, extremely shameful. Showing his emotions and attraction to Caleb, or to anyone really, is an extreme show of trust and vulnerability, and I don't think it should be taken lightly.

Treating it, at least in those early months, as though it is common or casual, something taken for granted, feels, to me, as though it undermines the importance and gravity of Essek's feelings, whatever they may be. Further, it undermines aspec identities, relegating them to sidelines if it is even acknowledged at all. I feel as though a lot of the jokes ignore Essek's demisexuality and how integral it is to how he builds relationships and interacts with people.

As someone who is aspec, I find it disheartening to see these sort of jokes and offhand comments being circulated about a character who is confirmed, canon aspec whose identity centers on deep bonds that take time to develop. Applying sexual under/overtones to scene where a small chaste kiss and an innocent pet name are shared feels like, in a way, a forced sexualization of a new, developing relationship that may never turn sexual.

There is such little aspec representation in media, and Critical Role does a fantastic job of showcasing a variety of aspec identities which is so, so rare. To turn around and have the fandom ignore or disregard these identities (intentional or not) that the cast and crew work hard to incorporate feels bad. It makes me feel as though I still have to fight for my identity to be seen and understood by people who, theoretically, support and want to understand and respect various identities, who claim to love Essek and Caleb and their relationship. It hurts.

I have spent a lot of time convincing myself that I and my sexuality belong in the queer community, that I deserve to have a voice, that I deserve to be respected and heard. With my feelings about Essek and his demisexuality, I didn't feel right standing by any longer and remaining silent when these portrayals were bothering me.

I am not asking anyone to change their opinions, to agree with me, to change the fic they write, the art they draw. The Critical Role fandom is beautiful and amazing and absolutely incredible. I have met so many kind, caring, wonderful people since joining. It's an experience unlike any other. But, I needed to make this post for me and anyone else who was feeling like me.

#critical role #shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #mighty nein reunited #mighty nein #cr2 #oh boy am i inviting the disk horse by posting this???#probably 😬😬😬#but this is something that has been bothering me for a few months and the reunion just confirmed it #please be kind if you choose to interact #this is not meant to be mean or ill intentioned toward anyone #i just needed to get it off my chest #if one other person who feels similar sees this posting it will be worth it #i understand my own experiences heavily influence my opinions here #but really the cr fandom overall has been so welcome and wonderful and kind #its been amazing!#thank u for reading this long ass post if you make it to the end #oh boy i am nervous about posting this #which is exactly why i feel like i should post it

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whygrianwhengrain · 16 days

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ok I know third life was forever ago (or whatever) but I have seen so much art of that scene where scar is like "you may slay me and take the enchanter" so I NEED to talk about it because boy do I have feelings

Because Grian came in completely prepared to kill Scar and win this thing, and I have no doubt that if Scar had fought back Grian would have killed him because it's all about the actual winning, right?

But the thing is - Scar didn't fight back. Scar was completely prepared to just let Grian kill him, because in his eyes Grian deserved it. Grian had done so much for him to protect him and get both of them as far as they were, and so in his eyes it would only be fair that Grian got to win - after all, Scar got this far only because of Grian.

That's what made Grian hesitate - because it made him remember who he was killing. This was Scar, his best friend, the person he'd been allied with the whole series, the person he had fought to protect the entire series, and he was just sitting down and letting Grian kill him?

Grian couldn't kill him because it was Scar. If he had fought back, Grian would have killed him easily, but Scar would never have fought back, so Grian couldn't bring himself to kill him so easily.

(I mean sure Grian killed him in the end, but he made sure it was a fair fight and I'm pretty sure they only fought because the ghosts demanded it.)

Anyway, rant over.

#sorry for the rant #I just have a lot of feelings about #third life #specifically #desert duo #(you could probably tell though lol)#anyway thanks to anyone who's read this far #I'm pretty sure I'm just casting this off into the tumblr void #but if anyone actually saw this and was bothered to read through it #I love you <3 #grian #scar #goodtime #goodtimeswithscar #life series #rant

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dawntheduckrb · 5 months

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I'll stop posting wips eventually but it's been five days since I've said anything and I don't want anyone to think I'm dead/dying/stuck in a ditch and withering away, so here's 10% of the reason I disappeared (the duck is stuck in rendering hell) (and my little baby laptop is screaming at me every time I open up this file)

I might still be mostly lurking for a little bit so please be patient with me in the meantime 🙏🙏

#seriously though I'm sorry for just up and disappearing like that #wanna talk to people and interact with them so bad lately but I just can't bring myself to do it #so the best i can manage is blabbing in the tags like always #i don't know wtf is going on but over the past few days I've just felt like i don't deserve to talk to anyone #tried to reblog posts from mutuals several times but something in my head keeps saying;#'yeah they don't actually care for your input at all and you're being a bother for even trying etc etc'#and i know deep down that's probably not true (i hope) but i can't reason it away you know #and i know the best solution to this is to just talk to someone #let it be known that i *did* make an attempt to #i tried texting someone (and succeeded) but i couldn't keep doing it and I'm back at square one (and now feel worse lmao)#i'm not really putting this here for anybody to see it as much as i am for myself #but i know that (hypothetically) this could be seen by a real human so it still kinda feels like I'm reaching out in a way which feels nice #makes me feel less like I'm shriveling up in my own self imposed solitude #so uh hello person who might be reading the tags (there's six of you guys here now which is crazy cause i post nothing but junk here lol)#((but thanks anyway for following and even more thanks for reading this if you did))#i'll make my way around all the posts i missed soon enough don't worry #i'm sorry i'm really not meaning to ignore anybody #i have drafted quite a few posts from moots that i couldn't finish leaving comments on but i have seen them #everyone here is super cool and talented as always <3 whether that be through art or writing or just finding neat posts to share #this wall of text is long enough and i'm very eeby so thank you again for reading this #tldr; not dead and i'll be okay eventually :)#not rb #hey look i didn't post a picture of my dog this time (a crime)#i'll make sure to share one the next time i get a good one

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debbiechanclub · 10 months

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What are your thoughts on bullet club war dogs as a whole and what are your thoughts on each of the members?

What a nice treat in my inbox, thank you for allowing me to subject you to my insanity about this group of people. My thoughts are that I love them, and let me tell you why.

Preemptively inserting a cut, because I'm sure this is gonna be long.

*Morgan Freeman voice*: It is.

I assume you know this, so I don't mean to mansplain, but it's crucial to my point to reiterate that the original intent of Bullet Club as founded by Prince Devitt was to be a stable of despicable gaijin (or foreign) wrestlers. Which makes total sense as a concept, especially in NJPW. Japan is not the cultural melting pot that North America or the UK is―if you're not Japanese, you stick out. So it makes perfect sense that the foreign wrestlers would gravitate toward each other and band together in that locker room as strangers in a strange land, so to speak.

However, to me, it hadn't felt like that's what Bullet Club was in a long time. Ever since The Elite left NJPW and during the bulk of Jay White's tenure as leader, basically (and he is the longest tenured leader!). At some point under Jay's leadership, BC became less about being a group of foreign menaces and more about just being a group of menaces. And a group of menaces who didn't really have each other's backs, to boot? There was so much in-fighting and it got so old.

But David Finlay and the War Dogs―in my admittedly completely biased opinion―have brought BC back to its original intent. They're a group of young, hungry, foreign guys who came almost entirely out of NJPW's American arm in Strong. And they're obsessed with each other. You can tell from social media and their backstage comments and in-ring promos that they're a cohesive unit who have each other's backs.

Outside of the War Dogs, though... BC is still a hot fucking mess. I'm highkey annoyed that Jay is just being allowed to get away with BC Gold in AEW, and I want nothing more than for Finlay to finally cut House of Torture loose (and hopefully there will be movement on that with him and EVIL being in the same G1 block). I do, however, think Ace and Bey should be brought into the War Dogs; they would fit right in (and I love Chris Bey). As for the BC subgroup in NJPW Tamashii, while I know absolutely nothing about them it does make sense that NJPW would want an iteration of their most-known faction in their Australian arm. And plus Bad Luck Fale is heading it up and he's an original member, so. Pass.

Okay, so now that I've told you my thoughts on the War Dogs as a group, lets get into each of them individually.

David Finlay

I mean, he's blorbo prime. My special (not really) little guy. He just scratches a very satisfying itch in my brain, and it actually started for me back when Kenny Omega took the AEW World Championship over to Impact to become the Belt Collector. Because when Kenny did that, I―like many others―tuned into Impact for the first time in actual decades, and when FinJuice started feuding with The Good Brothers for the Impact World Tag Titles, I just knew I'd vibe with Finlay, you know? Like I said, he scratched an itch. (Also, I should say here that I didn't start regularly watching NJPW until like... mid-2021, so my exposure to Finlay up until watching Impact was essentially that I knew he was a person who existed.) And then Finlay came back to Japan for the first time in over a year to compete in last year's G1 post-split from Juice, and he was a bit more aggressive with a bit of a chip on his shoulder, and the feeling of "yeah, that's my guy," only grew. And then he walked out with Gedo in Bullet Club gear for the New Japan Cup and I was just a goner. Plus his dad is Fit Finlay who I love simply for everything he's done to help elevate women's wrestling. Like, love and respect, Steph, but you didn't start the women's revolution―Fit did when he started treating WWE's women like wrestlers and not just eye candy 💅🏻

Oh, and I will die on this hill: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, will Tony Khan or someone in fucking AEW acknowledge all the history between Finlay and both Juice and Jay and give us the fucking War Dogs-BC Gold feud we deserve????

Okay, moving on.

Clark Connors

Okay, so. If Finlay scratches a satisfying itch in my brain, Clark scratches a hedonistic one, and that's just it. Seriously―when he first joined BC, he had me acting and thinking weird. He's despicable and cocky and he likes to drink and smoke and fight and I am simply helpless against his dirtbag rhinestone outlaw swag. Plus, he's just a good hard-hitting wrestler. There's a moment in his match against Kevin Knight from this year's BOSJ where he did this crazy sort of spear-spinebuster combo that lives absolutely rent free in my brain. OH. And his theme song is a fucking banger.

Dan "Drilla" Moloney

To be perfectly transparent, even though he was great in this year's BOSJ, I didn't pay much attention to Drilla until he joined BC and linked up with Clark, and I don't know that I like him so much as I just like him and Clark together? That's not to say I don't like Drilla on his own, because I do―he's mouthy and entertaining as fuck and just does not give a fuck. At all. But him and Clark together are just *chef's kiss* to me. Although, I am very much looking forward to Drilla's impending match and feud with Will Ospreay.

Alex Coughlin

This might come as a surprise, but... Alex is lowkey my second favorite after Finlay (sorry, Clark 🫣). And it’s for the same reason that I gravitated toward Finlay in the first place: I just know I'd vibe with him based off the things he posts on IG. I also like that he brings a completely different dynamic to the group in the sense that he's not loud or outwardly cocky and doesn't run his mouth like the rest of them do. He just stares into your soul and picks things up and throws them. And I just think he's neat. I hope he does well in the G1 and I will be sad if he doesn't.

Gabe Kidd

So as of right now, I have the least feel for Gabe out of all the War Dogs, and my thoughts on him are similar to Drilla in that it's not so much him as it is him and Alex together for me. The two of them are a completely different flavor of swag from Drilla and Clark, and I absolutely love that. I love that the War Dogs are a well-rounded unit with both a junior tag team and a heavyweight tag team who each bring something unique and dynamic to the table. That being said, Gabe is quickly growing on me, and I'm sure I'll have more to say about him during and after the G1.

And Jesus H. Christ, I just wrote you a novel. I hope it answers your question? 😂

Seriously though, thank you for asking me this, and now everyone who bothers to read this knows how extensive my brainrot for the War Dogs is. They're my special guys and I adore them.

#asks #it's a fucking NOVEL #thank you for asking and to anyone who bothers to read lmao

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fedorahead · 2 months

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Gender neutral partner titles

My husband and I are both autistic and experience gender and sexuality through that lens. While he's less worried with trying to define himself, I have been struggling as I am definitely a guy, but recently have been seeing a lot more fluidity....... Like, both of us fall solidly under "autigender" but of course that's just one term for it. Anyway... terminology for the actual definition/experience isn't super relevant.

He's been calling me his husband, which felt very comfortable for the past year, but as my gender has been a lot more wibbly-wobbly lately... I feel like it's too gendered and not quite encompassing enough.

Does anyone have any suggestions for gender neutral titles that are a little more intimate than "spouse" or "partner"?

So far my only idea has been copilot which isn't really... the right thing. Partner-in-crime would be more appropriate for our relationship (lol) but is kind of wordy............

I figured if anyone had endearing ways married autists could refer to each other, it'd be tumblr lol

#autism #autistic #gender queer #gender fluid #terminology #gender terms #sexuality #gender neutral #autigender #actually autistic #advice #cutesy names #pet names #i know i'm using the tags for actual tagging it's weird #hopefully someone is subbed to these tags and is like öh yes i have the answer here you go guys #"#that would be cool #thanks to anyone who bothers to read lol #i love you goodnight

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illogicalghost · 3 months

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#big gender rant ahead i just need to write down my thoughts #personal #so i think im a he/him trans lesbian??#i think ive been denying my feminine side for a long time now but middle school me was right. well. half right #idk why id built up some weird barrier in my mind about being trans and being a lesbian #but now im like more sure than ever #i still dont know if i could call myself a woman. and i thought i was so adamant about not using she/her again but it honestly?#doesn't bother me that much anymore. its not my preference but its not as soul crushing as it used to be #i have these weird subliminal gender rules for myself that ive been beating myself down with even though i #understand that theyre fake and dont hold anyone else to them. so why have a double standard? cant i have a fun gender?#ever since high school its been an uphill battle just letting myself live freely and having self confidence #i just turned 24. i dont have to be beholden to stupid hormonal teenage self loathing anymore #the world is a beautiful place and gender is just made up anyway. so why cant i be trans and butch? who cares??#i think i worded it well in my last personal post. ive been living a gender of convenience #but fuck that! i want the gender that makes sense to me! that makes me happy! its my life and i should live it how i want to!#...i still have some regrets about my top surgery. i wish i wasnt so weirdly flat chested now.#but hopefully the fat will redistribute eventually and itll look more natural as the years go on..#but i definitely dont regret going on T. i love my deep voice and my body hair #anyway if you've read this far thanks for listening to my mad ramblings #and dont forget you can have a fun gender too!

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srldesigns6277 · 4 months

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#this is tmi #i just needed to rant #i hate that fucking depression drop in the middle of your period #yes im aware i should be thankful it doesnt give me too much dysphoria #but my god its so fun to have a not bad day then tl be hit with a wall of depression thoughts #about how much i suck or how much i bother peopke #its not as if i didnt know that already thoughts #i am aware im extremely lucky in finding my gf because i havw no friends #im a teacher who can talk to anyone about most things but there arent connections there #im thankful on here some people are willing to put up with how bothersome i can be #something im eternally grateful for but i feel like im always a bother #who cant do shit right #if i could id probably have a fulltime job by now #alright scattered rant done #thanks for reading if you did

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sydflow · 11 months

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I’m planning to stop posting on this acc.

I don’t know if this is permanent or not. I won’t terminate the account or anything but I don’t plan on being online

#so long bothers!!#thank you to anyone and everyone who read my stuff it makes me happy!!#there are so many amazing writers on this app that deserve so much recognition #twice x reader

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leatherbookmark · 10 months

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dear google duckduckgo how to love and feel loved because i'm at my wits' end at this point

#shrimp thoughts #i can only assume y'all're lying about feeling so loved and safe and cherished when surrounded by your friends/family because it Doesn't #Sound Real. this is fanfiction city i'm afraid. and shounen manga #if anything when someone does something for me that i didn't ask for i feel Great Discomfort because i don't deserve it #like this is genuinely wonderfu of u and thank you for this gesture but a/ again i am not worthy and b/ i will never be able to repay this #kindness because i am both an asshole AND an idiot who can't read people for shit AND i have no cool skills such as cooking #or being a good listener. my listener experience is saying 'wow that's fucked up' and 'want me to kill them for you' and thatse it #recently 've been told 'why do you think everyone's your enemy' incorrect! i don't! i don't think i'm interesting or important enough for #people to even think of me! i just don't want to bother anyone! which in return prompted a comment that This Is Severe Depression #no it's not. i dont think everyone's my enemy i just dont know how to make Allies. or what they Are in the first place mkay

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waterfallofspace · 11 months

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Quality got shot bc the file was too big ;-; but hopefully it's still acceptable~ Also I wasn't actually sick for this, but I gave the coughing an attempt~

C/huuya comes to his office in the morning to find a disturbance awaiting his arrival. Figures he would show up when C/huuya has a cold.

Been working on this for awhile, and want to dedicate/gift it to @onetrickponi since their amazing wavs inspired me to start doing my own~ since I began they made me a BEAUTIFUL U/ndertaker sketch that lives in my head, so consider this thanks for that too!! (It's not nearly as amazing, but maybe you can get a hint of enjoyment anyways~)

#waterfallwav #wavs are so fun to me but apppaaarently almost 10 minutes was a biiit too much #Also not suuuuper thrilled with how their voices came out #but first tries and all that! hopefully it'll be an alright contribution~!#I had fun making/writing it anyways~~#sucks bout the quality #but im hopeful it doesnt take away from the wav TOO much #anyways thank you so much to anyone who bothers to listen #and extra special thanks to anyone who may leave a comment or tag!! i always read them all~~#b/sd #s/oukoku #c/huuya #d/azai #aaaaaaand now I'm off to sleep~

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anewp0tat0 · 2 years

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Chapter 190

wow I'm back with these things! didn't do them for a bit, and to be honest I thought this chapter break was very long, but that's just because I forgot last month's chapter happened for a moment. weird cause I thought it was sad and funny, but reasonable.

yana really went hard here and I'm so happy, Ada deserves this panel so much☆☆☆ I'll maybe never see her again and I'll probably forget soon but girl you a keeper.

I like that we have this little thing here, shows us everyone we know so far, kinda. yana's refusal to draw Polaris's right eye really doesn't do good for me. those other two seem to be people we don't know. I think I still fall on the possibility of him being Joker, which is a common theory. makes sense enough. but I'm not committed.

also, the one on the bottom left looks to be of Asian decent right? the only connection I can think of is to the quin bang, but that's a stretch.

also some of you know lots a flowers and that's very cool! that's a flower back there right? idk. I suck at flowers.

my first impression when he makes these shocked faces is that he's truly alarmed by the information. however after reading the panel below, it seems like that face is just his "new scheme in the making" face.

nice to see Lau is the same as ever. I really hope Ada and the rest have some sort of freedom from now on. Lau is sly with his repayment debts anyway. and I sure hope this is some side "i must bring honor to my country" thing and not some more relevant plot twist thing.

this poor girl I want to give her everything. she was meant to do nothing more in this world. also me too Lau. glad we all agree some information just gets lost over time. how is this man so powerful??

@grelleswife mentioned that so far all of the servants arcs have ended with a sunset, and thats a cool observation! i like that. gives me hope for the future. ofc yana isn't too predictable, but still. generally this panel is just... mhm. feelings.

that seems like a wrap then, overall super mega happy ending, finally!! it's been so long. I gotta say it doesn't feel as complete as a wrap that we were all expecting, but I think that's the general fault of having too much time to theorize and then totally expecting an explosion and multiple deaths. Ada is taken care of, Bard's alive, no one dies hazah. I think we can safely say that no one will die in these miny arcs until we get to ciel and sebastian unfortunetly.

one more thing though.

ngl i kinda forgot he was even here for a moment, no shade to Ronald I was excited and expectant but that's just what happens with a poor memory and 9 pages a month.

sorry that I'm just unable to buy the official translations atm so sit through my possibly unofficial confusion for a moment please. so Al is someone who seemingly is an ally of Layla, or so she thought. I have doubts that Ronald is a twist villain, even if it's just hopeful thinking. here though, Ronald's dialogue does in a way make it seem that he was supposed to meet with her, and she was certainly expected an "Al". RonAld is too much of a stretch right? or is that what is meant to be assumed?... what was his doctor allias again anyway, Dr. Knox right? idk sorry I gotta reread this whole arc soon but luckily it won't take long.

I would frankly be mad if Ronald turns out to be a secret baddy because 1) means future conflict with our cast. and grelle :< no they're meant to be best buds. also 2) means we need a whole other chapter to explain this and have them talk. nope, we're gone now sorry.

I doubt he is, I just wonder what type of deal he would have brought up with her.

and yea please discard the child, im very sorry to whatever she was before the fake soul inhabited the body, truly, my heart brakes. now throw it away.

#thanks again to anyone who bothers to read even half of this! or scroll to the bottom. you are appreciated #also sorry i barely spell and grammar check these ill start doing it if its too much of a problem #my fingers and brain are spead rn not smart spead just spead #kuroshitsuji #black butler #kuro 190 #kuroshitsuji 190 #chapter 190 #kuro chapter 190 #kuro spoilers #chapter 190 spoilers #kuroshitsuji spoilers #black butler manga #kuroshitsuji manga #if ronald actually goes by Al here ill be mad just go by Ron you idiot

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atsu-i · 9 months

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Hello, I just saw the anon ask talking about you not being on tumblr that much anymore and we don't really talk to eachother (I think we only ever exchanged messages once), but I wanted to say, while I can, that I have wonderful memories of this website and a lot of them include seeing the mangacaps that you reblog or reading your tags, including all of the occasional venting and even some of the adorable auntie stories.

If you allow me to ramble a little bit, I want to talk about the blog that you called "shitty" and how I think it is actually really cool.

You might not think that you do much because you mostly just reblog stuff, but I feel like all the mangacaps that you reblog are more meaningful than most people think. I think that they are an act of self-expression and throughout the years I've felt like those kinds of posts express a desire that people have to be more honest with their feelings and put them out into the world. I've felt like the mangacaps, combined with all of your text posts, probably do accomplish some of this.

I am not going to say that your blog changed how I view life or anything like that, but I can say that your blog, along with many other similar ones, have seriously been a part of my journey of better understanding myself.

For example, today I liked a post that had a guy feeding a cat in it. And I didn't like the post because the art was amazing. I liked it because I thought that the guy is gentle and that aspect of gentleness resonated with me personally. And obviously, there are times where I might like a post just because I think that the art looks cool, but I think that a lot of times when I'm browsing through tumblr I'm just learning more about myself through the things that I like.

Maybe the whole thing isn't supposed to be that deep, but sometimes (not always) for me it is. I think that this whole thing feels unreal for you because you don't put a lot of effort but I think that it is pretty cool that a bunch of people like the blog despite that.

As always, have a nice day and drink some water.

;-;

#wasnt expecting a reply to that anon reply but tysm for....somehow telling me how you felt about this blog #and somehow me?#also just like the anon...i wanna say ty for appreciating this blog of mine #like seriously I just reblog stuff that resonates with me #and sometimes I just rant and share stuff I wanna share and yeah sometimes I just reblog coz I find it pretty #also the manga's i read shows i watched and will watch...its all here lol and it's...how should I put it #it's just me and somehow it doesnt feel 'real' that anyone will give attention to it? am putting myself out here and not expecting anything #but somehow...some of you notice and am like why lol coz you know my content.....it's very depressing most of the time tbh #anyways haha i still remember you btw haha we talked I think twice? waayy before and am glad I did #thanks for rambling to me...it's always welcome btw #I like reading what you guys think and feel #and somehow I always receive kindness which I think I still dont deserve but you still give it anyway #all I could do is say ty ;-;#like this blog really is my escape tbh....and some of you appreciating it makes me sad and glad at the same time? ;-;#really tysm #and yes am rambling too in my response haha i hope it doesnt bother you reading all this nonsense lol #again ty idk how many times i should say it but yeah #this means a lot...you and everyone else who appreciates me being here #and with that....I would like to say have a nice day/night dear!#I always stay hydrated lol but yeah i hope you do too ^^ stay safe yeah?#oh also! thanks for thinking the blog is cool ;-; you are nice for thinking it that way ;-;#lastly ty for still following me and remembering stuff I shared on here even the personal stuff #again tysm ;-;

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