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#idk why id built up some weird barrier in my mind about being trans and being a lesbian
illogicalghost
·
2 months
Text
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#big gender rant ahead i just need to write down my thoughts
#personal
#so i think im a he/him trans lesbian??
#i think ive been denying my feminine side for a long time now but middle school me was right. well. half right
#idk why id built up some weird barrier in my mind about being trans and being a lesbian
#but now im like more sure than ever
#i still dont know if i could call myself a woman. and i thought i was so adamant about not using she/her again but it honestly?
#doesn't bother me that much anymore. its not my preference but its not as soul crushing as it used to be
#i have these weird subliminal gender rules for myself that ive been beating myself down with even though i
#understand that theyre fake and dont hold anyone else to them. so why have a double standard? cant i have a fun gender?
#ever since high school its been an uphill battle just letting myself live freely and having self confidence
#i just turned 24. i dont have to be beholden to stupid hormonal teenage self loathing anymore
#the world is a beautiful place and gender is just made up anyway. so why cant i be trans and butch? who cares??
#i think i worded it well in my last personal post. ive been living a gender of convenience
#but fuck that! i want the gender that makes sense to me! that makes me happy! its my life and i should live it how i want to!
#...i still have some regrets about my top surgery. i wish i wasnt so weirdly flat chested now.
#but hopefully the fat will redistribute eventually and itll look more natural as the years go on..
#but i definitely dont regret going on T. i love my deep voice and my body hair
#anyway if you've read this far thanks for listening to my mad ramblings
#and dont forget you can have a fun gender too!
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