the butch lesbian community has always been extremely diverse. the butch umbrella in general is extremely complex, but whenever people attempt to distill butch lesbians down into "women who wear men's clothes" it shows how little they really know about the community. the butch lesbian community is full of women who are confident in their womanhood and don't struggle, but it's also chock full of people who have some of the most complex genders you'll ever come across. butches have such varied life experiences that lead us to have a complex relationship with gender and sexuality

the butch lesbian community has always been full of genderqueer, gender non conforming, multigender, genderfluid, two-spirit, and non binary people. it's always been full of intersex people. it's always been full of people who don't identify as women, as well as people whose masculinity is inherently tied to their womanhood. it's always been full of people who identify as men, but in a distinctly lesbian and sapphic way. it's always been full of trans men and mascs. it's always been full of trans women and transfemme butches. it's always been full of people who identify as something other than a woman while still being a lesbian. it's always been full of bisexual butches. it's always been full of asexual butches.

the butch community is as varied as any other community and attempting to force butches into a narrow box is the terf shit and inaccurate to queer history. let the genderfucked butches speak. let the genderqueer butches speak. let the trans male butches speak. let the trans femme butches speak. let the intersex butches speak. let the bisexual butches speak.

let all butches speak.

POV the last thing you see before getting your holes absolutely destroyed

My current gender is "ftm leather dyke daddy" and it feels so right

Beau and Millie part 3. It’s a screenprint btw.

TERFs dni.

when u start t it’s super common to become wayy hornier, i think we all know that,

but like, just out of curiosity, definitely no other reason, how many times a week did/do ya’ll masturbate now that you’re on t… i’m trying to see something

Any butches wanna kiss

So this is my voice progress on my T journey! I’m actually happy with where I am, still adjusting when it comes to singing.

still contemplating gender stuff bc i’ve realized i’m not a trans man but i’m not a woman either. and i can’t rlly call myself a lesbian bc i’m still attracted to men but i actively choose not to engage with men. but also i identified as a lesbian a few years ago pre-transition and i still resonate with that label but i’m still transmasc? idk what my deal is yet

the "who's transitioned in the past like 3 years w/out major tiktok usage" game has taken a turn

the following words and phrases are magical, ethereal, and family to me: transsexual male, trans male, genderqueer ftm, trans fag, testo butch, tranny boy, ftm butch, tranny dyke, boydyke, bulldyke, boydyke, trans gay & tboy.

If you were wondering how the hell I'm a nonbinary testo-butch, this is how

I need a lesbian to cut me open and gut me like a fish.

last year on trans day of visibility i rambled on here about what it was like to live translucently, in the liminality of being out to oneself but not exactly out to the world. a lot has changed since then, and a lot hasn't.

last year i wrote "i have come so far from where i used to be, but it gets exhausting. because when you stop hating yourself and start hating the world, there’s a whole lot less you can do about it." i was hurting, then, as i had just started to tell my closest friends about my shifting identity, and they didn't yet fully see me. i understand now that these things take time, but that my pain also was justified. things have gotten a lot better since then-- my best friend wished me a happy TDOV and i have found a support system in a couple friends and teachers who i can relate to in my liminality and queerness.

by recommendation of my english teacher, i read paul b preciado's book, "testo junkie," and reading that text truly was a pivotal moment for me. i felt, as i continue to feel, seen by preciado and by the gender anarchy he embodies. since reading that book i have begun to turn more and more to literature in order to feel seen. through preciado and beauvoir and butler i am learning the words that i have needed to tell my story. i'm making up words, too. i've written a lot of autotheory this year that has allowed me to create for myself a space in the world. i have found language, which has always felt oppressing, to be empowering as i learn to wield it more deftly.

in coming into my identity as a stone butch, in addition to allowing myself to live in the word "trans," i have begun to slowly transform into a version of myself that feels honest to put forth into the world. i got my hair cut professionally for the first time in years, i got a beautiful tattoo done for my birthday, i pierced my septum and have started writing and reading relentlessly. i am writing the theory i wish had been around for me to read this day last year. i am doing the research that i have always sought out to no avail.

do i feel visible? have i succeeded in becoming opaque? i don't think so, not yet. i still am writing this here, anonymously, instead of posting it to instagram where it is attached to my face and my person. i still feel like an impostor, unworthy of claiming a trans identity despite knowing that is what's right. i'm getting there, but it hasn't happened yet, and i'm not sure if it ever will. in many respects, i am in the same place i was last year.

i have stopped hating the world, even though the world has hurt me. this is what has changed. i have fallen in love with the world and its people through the books i've read and the people who have welcomed me into their communities with open arms. i have fallen in love with the world through june henry, ezra furman, laura jane grace, ezra michel, genesis p-orridge, antonio de erauso, judith butler, paul b preciado, yannik thiem, chris letissier, through my english teacher, my tattoo artist, my dyke friends on twitter who trans both ways, my trans friends who have loved me and seen me without my even having to ask, through every trans writer and artist and musician and lover and friend in the entire world. i have seen too much beauty and compassion in this world to hate it, and so, although i am still translucent, i am less bitter. i have found a community that accepts my translucence and that has protected me this year, in the ways that i needed, even if those ways differed from theirs. i have found safety and power in the world that i claimed to hate this day last year. i have found love here.

in my translucence i want to tell you, my trans siblings who i love with all i am, that i will never stop fighting for our joy. all of the research i do is for us-- all of my writing and theorizing and organizing and vandalizing and creating is for us. someday, i will be visible and when that day comes i will hug you all so tightly, but until then, i will become corporeal through my words, and for me, that is enough.

i love you always and forever,

Hi I need to be fingered by a bigger butch PLELEAASSSEEE

No worldwide force fem campaign that’s kid shit, we need to estroginate and de-feminise the world. All cocks limp, all bodies hard, all females on at least .275 testo cypionate. A world of studs and butches. NO MORE SISSIES (imagine my spit flying out as a scream this, and it hits you a little, but you don’t want to brush it off right away because I’m looking right at you so you wait and you can feel it slipping down the warm crook of your arm)

the great militantly cis crossdressing guy and terfy Testo*-Butch unification of 2024

I completely forgot that I wanted to like keep a digital transition journal so it’s been like 6 months BUT

I’m about 8 months on testo as of now and thus far the changes are:

Deeper voice, still reads as feminine or at most androgynous

Clitoral growth (sorry for the tmi)

Increased hair length/thickness on lower legs I THINK, possibly wishful thinking

Maybe some slight peach fuzz in sideburn area and on upper lip, but I’m 98% sure that this is just wishful thinking on my part. Time will tell.

So at this point I think I pass squarely as a butch woman with a lower voice, solely because of the buzz cut and the masculine clothing

Great times