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sardonic-the-writer · 1 year

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—the great potato war

SUMMARY | nobody cared about potatoes. nobody at all. well, except for you and your neighbor, who's pink hair and pig skull never failed to catch your attention. it was about time you approached him

PAIRING | technoblade x reader

REQUESTED | no

WORD COUNT | 1.8k+

WARNINGS | none

AUTHORS NOTES | some nice healthy platonic fun times with our boy techno. ive been binging his channel as of late

🥔 Masterlist 🥔 Navigation 🥔 Rules 🥔

Sitting on his knees in an uncomfortable kneeling position, Technoblade felt a trickle of cold sweat work its way down the back of his neck. He could feel the sun beating down from above, its relentless rays doing nothing for his sweaty skin.

Wiping a gloved hand along his forehead line, Techno looked up from his work. The man's fingers and palms were stained with dirt splotches and grass marks. His pink hair had been tied back and tossed in between the back of his shoulder blades with ease, a sturdy hair band keeping it in one bunch.

Technoblade stood up to his full height. He could practically feel his spine elongating already; a few sharp pops even rang out from his tired joints to audibly show how hard he had been working. Although, as he looked out upon the sight in front of him, Techno couldn't help but think that it was all worth it.

Hundreds and hundreds of harvested potato lines laid in front of him with a barren look. Remnants and scraps of the former vegetation littered the scorched ground. Brown spots and dried up greens were what were left of the hybrid's hours of heavy work.

With a haughty grin, Techno walked off his elaborate plot of land. It took a minute too, seeing as he had a ginormous five acres to show for it.

“That’ll put me ahead.” He grinned, taking off the worn leather gloves he had been wearing to garden. In an almost comical manor, he rubbed his hands together like a film villain painted in black and white, smiling.

From the comfort of his secluded property, getting to the hub was easy enough. Just a small stroll on an obscure dirt path and he was in a familiar looking village.

Each time he passed the threshold from lush forest to dusty village, Techno could always feel the strain in his muscles as he tightened them, a feeling of discomfort washing over him in small waves. It wasn't as if he didn't ever like visiting the place. The collection of small wooden houses and abundancy of vendor stands were more than useful in tasks such as expanding his farm and gathering materials. It was the stares he was less than partial to.

Eyes filled with fear and wonder alike followed Techno as he walked stiffly around the place. He should have been used to this by now, more than aware of the titles he had collected over the years. Blood God, the Blade, even the occasional call of potato man was tossed in his direction. The last one made him want to laugh the most, if he was being honest.

The pinkette didn't blame people for staring. He was more or less a myth taken form to them. A pink haired warrior hiding behind a pigs skull, often seen buying the materials needed to reap all kinds of vegetables. In all his years living just a few miles away from the public, the only locals he had ever spoken to were the sellers. Maybe an occasional traveler, interested in what the rest of the world was doing now that he had left it—despite the fact he had vowed he would never return to the life he had been leading before. No. He was much more content growing crops than watering the fields of battle with blood. So yeah, not exactly the type people around here were used to seeing.

"Alright. It was about time I met the asshole that insist on making my life a living hell."

Techno's swift movements stopped in the middle of the sidewalk he had been steadily moving along; an admirable feat from whoever had just caught his attention—something that didn't happen often.

His sharp gaze was hidden behind the bone white skull he insisted on wearing so much, sweeping around until it eventually landed on the source of his brief pause.

It was someone short. Well, at least shorter than him, which was normal for about everyone he had ever met—save for a teenage enderman hybrid he had used to know.

Skimming over the height difference, the second thing that caught his attention were their hands. They were almost as dirty as his, if not dirtier. Even through the grit and grime he could see a few hardened callouses dotting their skin. A detail that almost made Techno tilt his head with mild curiosity. Almost.

Thirdly was their stare. It was scarily memorable of the very same one he saw each time he looked in the mirror. Determined, with layers and layers of vast emotions underneath it.

The stranger approached him, hands in pockets as they bit at the inside of their cheek. Looking far more comfortable than anyone else would have in approaching the infamous piglin hybrid.

"Do I know you." Techno's voice was monotone. Flat. Less than a question, and more of a not so subtle way of getting them to leave him alone. It didn't work.

"Nope! Pretty rude of you, considering we've been neighbors for about half a year now. But I'll let it slide." The carefree tone and amused smile contradicted what should have been the hostility in their words. Their sentences were certainty set up to be directed at him with a different emotion if they so much as pleased. But Techno knew how to read people, be it common folk or kings sitting high above him on a throne as they lied about their sins. And this person before him certainty had no intent to do anything beyond chat.

For some reason that confused him more than anything else.

"I don' have any neighbors." His voice was clear. Slightly raising it for the sake of the people around them doing a poor job of eavesdropping; a silent call to get moving. To which the small crowd immediately did.

"Maybe so you think. But tell that to me and my house I've been living in for six months. If you ever bothered to visit anywhere other than this shithole or your huge ass garden you would know that."

They knew about his garden, along with his traveling habits. If they were telling the truth about being his neighbor, that would be less of a concern to hear. But Techno decided to play it safe, straightening up to his full height and curling his fists as if to insinuate a threat. He didn't feel like scaring off anyone more than he usually did, although this time it would be with intent, but he'd rather continue on his way with a bit of guilt rather than with the possibility that someone from his past had finally caught up with him.

"Oh relax tough guy. I'm just here to talk potatoes."

He stirred at that.

"..what?"

"Potatoes. You know, the thing you spend all your time farming." The person who had still yet to introduce themself carried on with hand motions, blowing out a slight sigh. "I really didn't think the second after I moved some crazy guy would be setting up shop with the same idea as me. I mean come on, how many people in the world have even considered going into potato farming as a hobby. You and your—your incredibly overpowered gardening tools."

It took a second before all of the dots began to connect in Techno's head. The way they had approached him with a competitive tone (albeit it playful), how they only seemed interested in talking about vegetation, the roughness of their hands—

"(Y/n) right?" In spite of himself, Techno found a small quirk in his lips forming. Not quite a smile, but something similar to it all the same. He was rewarded with a joyous nod of confirmation.

"Bingo."

So this was the person who had been after his number one potato these past couple months. Why the hub had such a thing as a leaderboard for who could sow the most vegetables, he had no idea. But it proved a successful way to pass his time. A task that included beating out the only other person on that board who was a threat to his number one title—the very same person who was currently standing across from him.

"Technoblade. Nice to metcha." He held out a hand, surely baffling a few of the people who were still staring at him and (Y/n). It was expected later there would be whispers of the interaction between the infamous man towering over an unassuming civilian, but he didn't mind.

"I know who you are." They took his hand with a snort, laughing. "I've been burning holes through your name on that stupid leaderboard ever since last summer. Your mental, you know, for farming a million potatoes a day."

"So I've been told." A brief memory of an old competitor made its way to the front of his mind, the word squid leaving as soon as it had came.

"I suppose asking you to stop farming would be a waste of time?"

He almost laughed.

"I'll take that as a no." (Y/n) tightened the grip on his hand with a fervent determination before letting go. A silent challenge. The first one that had interested Techno in a long time.

"How about we make a game out of this?" His ears perked up, blood red eyes capturing (Y/n)'s as they proceeded. "If we're to continue in this great potato war, how about we settle around a five hundred million goal. First person to it gets bragging rights. As well as, I dunno, something of the others. We can work that part out later."

"You're going down nerd." He grinned, sharp canines showing excitedly.

"Oh please." You rolled your eyes with the same sort of smile. "his'll be a cake walk for me. Or a potato walk for me, you could say."

"Bruhh."

"Like that one aye? How about, by the time I'm done with you, you'll be mashed potatoes!"

"Anyone else want to be my competitor? Anyone?" Techno pretended to call out to a crowd, scaring the nearby foot traffic as they scurried around the little bubble they had both created in the street.

"Alright fine fine you've made your point. My humors simply too good for the likes of you." (Y/n) returned to stuffing their hands in their pockets now, body weight shifting from foot to foot.

Techno took one more long look at them. Sweeping their figure with a feeling he hadn't encountered in a long time.

He was having fun.

"May th' best farmer win."

"Oh I will."

And with that, he set off in the opposite direction of you, determined to get back to his farm before you did yours.

#technoblade #technoblade x reader #teachnoblade x you #technoblade x y/n #technoblade fanfic #mcyt #mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x you #mcyt fanfic #dsmp x reader #dsmp x y/n #dsmp x you #dsmp #fanfic #x reader #one shot #skyblock #the great potato war

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genevawren38 · 8 months

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I'll Tend to the Flame (You Can Worship the Ashes)

✨MCYT fic fight 2023, Team Phantom👻

✨For @archfeykoi

✨c!Technoblade & c!Philza [Emerald Duo]

✨5.5k W.C.

✨c!Technoblade-centric

✨Graphic Violence

✨️c!Techno rescuing c!Phil from house arrest & DSMP

✨Ashes by The Longest Johns

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ladyddanger · 2 years

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(Nobody asked me to write this but I wanted to so here you go.)

Only shooting stars. Or Technoblade, Purpled and Quackity (try to) save the world.

They were twenty minutes late to crash a party and stop their former friends from rising a giant murderous egg.

Luckily Purpled was pretty sure Quackity and Technoblade would kill each other before they ever got there. T his was the group that was supposed to save the world from said murderous egg .

The world was doomed.

“I just really think we should talk about you trying to kill me.” The words sat in the silence of the car like storm clouds brewing.

“I mean I’m sure you’re embarrassed about it. Trying to kill someone and failing is very cringe.” Technoblade offered when Quackity didn’t answer eyes pinned on the road.

Purpled was starting to wonder how Quackity had even gotten a license considering he had hit no less then three different poles, two mail boxes and was going ninety when the speed limit was a solid thirty five.

“I don’t think we have anything to talk about.” Quackity snapped. “I tried to kill you. You killed me, I’m over it.”

“You don’t seem very over it.” Purpled noted helpfully.

Quackity switched lanes without looking behind him, ignoring the honks he got. “Fuck off Purpled.”

Purpled leaned in between them,

(Technoblade had called shotgun with the air of a man who had two siblings leading Purpled to get stuck in the back.) “Can I at least turn on music?”

Quackity sighed and Purpled took that as permission. He slipped his favorite CD in with a grin.

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me

Technoblade beamed as he recognized the beat. Quackity just looked annoyed as Purpled started to sing along.

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

Quackity turned around to glare at him. “Can you shut up please? I’m trying to drive safely.”

Without Quackity’s guidance the car spun to the right.

Technoblade yelled and reached over Quackity grabbing the wheel.

“Eyes on the road, eyes on the road!” Quackity flinched away almost falling into Technos lap as he struggled to control the car.

“I have only have one thanks to you asshole!”

“We’re all gonna dieeee.” Purpled screamed just to add to the general drama.

Quackity finally wrestled the wheel away from Techno and straightened the car. Purpled slumped back in his seat “I think the car ran better when you weren’t driving it.”

Technoblade laughed and then “hid” it with a cough.

Quackity glared at him. “Got something to say bitch? Do you think you could drive better then me?”

Didn't make sense not to live for fun

Technoblade sighed “I’m just sayn I’ve seen Steve drive a golf cart better.”

Quackity made an angry noise that sounded a lot like a quack. “The polar bear Steve? That Steve?”

Purpled sighed bored with the drama. “Are we there yet?”

Techno’s ears flattened slightly as Quackity visibly got angrier. “Have you considered using I statements? For example I’m feel’n sad because Technoblade pointed out I’m a bad driver.”

Quackity turned the car sharply to the right pulling into a driveway. “Why don’t you shove your I statements up your-“

They slammed into a car.

Purpled swore as he was yanked forwards. At the very least he had a clear of Bad’s house.

They had somehow made it without a crash or Quackity and Technoblade killing each other.

Hey, now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play

Technoblade slowly reached over turned off the music. “Quackity did you just hit a parked car?”

Quackity kicked open the door struggling to get the folds of his red dress out without ripping it.

“Shut up. It’s time to save the world.”

#if ppl want I might this mini fic on a03 for now it’s a one shot #c!quackity #c!purpled #c!technoblade #c!preyduo #c!eggtrip #egg arc #egg trio #lady writes

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abeehiltz1159 · 6 months

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Sleepy Bees Halloween one-shot! Happy Halloween y’all :D

#dsmp #ranboo #tubbo #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #technoblade #philza #witch au #dream smp #sleepy bees #sleepy bois inc #sbi #dsmp au #halloween one-shot #Explosions & Witches (Abeehiltz1159 AU)

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icyfox17 · 9 months

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they lost :(

do you want to write about them being friends?

I KNOWW I SAW IM SO SADWAJOIWE R:(( wails BUT HEY it was pretty close to 50/50 so im happ B)

also ty for the prompt i haven't written orphanduo in so long this actually made me really happy eueueu

It’s pouring outside. Absolutely pouring. A torrential one if you will. The wind is howling, and Techno worries for the safety of their house from the massive tree in their backyard.

Techno looks over to where his dog is sitting perfectly at the front door, tilting his head back and forth. “No, Floof. We are not going on a walk in this weather. Are you crazy?”

Floof whines, before jumping up and down in a circle and barking.

Techno gives him a deadpan look. “You are. You have finally lost it.”

Floof ignores him, and continues to bark. There is no way Techno is giving in to this tiny demonic ball of white fluff.

Techno stands up, and instead of going towards the front door, he moves to the back one. He unlatches the lock, and waits for Floof to come running. Floof does, without hesitation, and Techno can hear the clitter clatter of his nails hitting the hardwood. When Floof reaches the door, Techno slides it open, and all of the sudden the pouring rain and rushing wind become much, much louder.

Floof sits in front of the door, and turns to look at Techno. Techno is pretty sure he can see the despair in his dog’s eyes.

“Yeah. Thought so. You’re just gonna have to wait it out bud,” says Techno as he closes the door, latching the lock.

Floof this time doesn’t argue, and instead lies down in front of the door whining. Techno gives him a pat twice on the head before, going back to where he was gaming on his computer. He was mining for his new faction on the (twentieth) Minecraft server Skeppy had forced him to join.

A flash of thunder rocks the house, and he looks back out at the stormy world outside. Really, he can’t see anyone going outside in this weather. He pauses, looking back at the Minecraft world on his computer screen. Unless…

The Blade

help

can u come over rn

Annoying Dumbass #1 whtat?!??!

The Blade

floof knocked over the bookshelf downstairs

can u come right away

i cannot pick it back up myself

Annoying Dumbass #1

how the hlel did floof di taht?!?! isnt he tiny?!?!?

The Blade

you underestimate how much force is in that tiny body of his

Annoying Dumbass #1

ur fcuking w me

The Blade

im not

ill give you the first piece of netherite i find on this server

Annoying Dumbass #1

…

fine, but istg if this is a troll techno—

It is. But Skeppy doesn’t need to know that until he gets here. Plus, Techno wasn’t lying when he told him he would give him the netherite he found. Techno isn’t that cruel.

Techno prepares them hot chocolate and popcorn, planning on gaslighting Skeppy that the whole reason he tricked him over was so they could watch a movie together, and definitely not because he just thought it would be funny to see him get soaked.

As Techno is mixing the powder into the heated milk, he hears a knocking on the door and grins. He finishes stirring, before grabbing one of Floof’s towels and walking to the door.

He opens it to reveal a completely soaked Skeppy. His hair is dripping into his face, and the thin wind-breaker he’s thrown on has been changed from the light aqua colour it normally is, to a dark blue.

“You are so lucky I only live five minutes away,” Skeppy says, glaring at him.

“Oh Skeppy, what would I ever do without you?” Techno replies, taking a step back so Skeppy can enter his house.

As Skeppy is taking his shoes off, Techno closes the door behind him, locking it before throwing the dog towel at Skeppy’s back.

It drops to the floor, and Skeppy picks it up. He’s about to rub his face with it, before he squints at it. “Is this Floof’s?”

Techno shrugs. “Maybe. You got a problem with that?”

“I’m not a dog, Techno!”

“Debatable.”

Skeppy throws the towel at Techno’s face, laughing. “Fuck you, Techno!”

Techno cackles back, before making his way to the kitchen, grabbing him the clean and human towel he had prepared before, and giving that one to Skeppy. He then goes to finish the popcorn he was making.

Skeppy follows him all the way through, and when he gets to the kitchen he pauses, scanning the living room where the singular bookshelf that Techno’s family has downstairs is. There’s silence for one moment before, “Oh, you’ve got to be shitting me.”

“You really have to get better at not being gullible, man. You give Bad shit all the time for it, but really man? You thought Floof knocked that down?”

Skeppy laughed. “Shut up, man! I hate you so much.”

“I’m still going to give you the netherite.”

“...Okay. I hate you a little much.”

“That’s not grammatically correct at all.”

“Fuck off.”

Techno finishes with the popcorn, and hands Skeppy the mug of hot chocolate he’d made him. “Let’s go watch Megamind.”

Skeppy takes it without hesitation, and follows Techno to the couch in the living room, with the very clearly knocked over bookshelf. “You could’ve just asked me to come over.”

“This was funnier.”

“You are the worst.”

“I made you hot chocolate and popcorn, and this is how I’m treated? Fine, next time you’ll get nothing in return.”

“No, no no no no— It’s great. Thank you, Techno.”

“That’s more like it.”

#hope u enjoy :D #this was sm fun to write sobs i must go write an entire one shot rn /hj #orphanduo #technoblade #skeppy #foxie snipps #mcyt #fanfic #writing

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lacystar · 1 year

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woke up from nap-- absolutely horrific dream

basically I was on a Disney cruise and Disney had bought the rights to dream smp and one of the events on the port side of the deck one night was a sapnap cosplayer in character qna (with a bad costume) and when I watched it get introduced the horror just plummeted in my stomach and fsr I was the only one on board with wifi so I immediately pulled out my phone and started taking pictures and posting them on Tumblr about the horrors I was witnessing. I then essentially became a messenger for Tumblr to the boat and from the port side to the starboard side for those who were "in the know" and I ended up hosting this live debate about whether or not it would have been worse if Taylor swift had come for a qna or if it was this. basically all the Tumblr girlies and a few people on the boat myself included were all horrified that this was happening on a Disney line, it was like having ur panty drawer raided and aired out on a boat for entertainment. and the worst part was I could hear my mom cheering the loudest bc she knows I like the dream smp and she was excited on my behalf and she was trying to text me to tell me to come see and I was just ignoring her texts like a horrible daughter because of all the secondhand embarrassment 😭

#you need to understand the cosplay wasn't good either #it was exactly what like. telling Disney about dream smp would look like #remember the butch Hartman dream smp sketches. it was that but by a cosplayer who wasn't a real cosplayer and just a Disney employee #like the bandana was red and shitty and they had technoblade's cape fsr?? like It did not resemble sap nap but like #predictably it still pleased the kids and the parents of the kids who were glad their neurodivergent children were feeling included #without caring for the quality of the act or the fact that its horrific and embarrassing and terrible and Disney should be shot for doingit #mcyt #dream smp #sapnap #one time i dreamt

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risingsunresistance · 2 years

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not gonna be finishing this one, just needed to sketch them. techno's videos with the admins were always some of my favorites. the kb10 slimeball and Endless Smiting gets me every time jdhkfh. apparently there's a stream out there with jacobruby that i managed to miss, i'll have to watch it some time

from left to right, connorlinfoot, techno, simon (the sloth), and plancke

video with connor (and another)

video with simon (and another)

video with plancke

#the one withh plancke is my favorite by a long shot #i mightve missed another video with plancke but i cant remember and i dont like searching techno on youtube rn #making this one nonrebloggable just. for reasons #ark if you see this. it's mostly for me and you. you'll probably see it on twitter #awa #tw death #saved #connor linfoot #technoblade #simon hypixel #plancke

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eats-the-stars · 1 year

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Cute apple house. I think I’m going to try building food and animal themed buildings with their inspirations inside. This one has an oak tree inside it. Starting simple. A little intimidated to make a sheep pen inside a sheep figure, but at least the sheep design is fairly simple. No idea how the cow house is going to turn out, haha.

#minecraft #not the best pic but i'm working on taking better screenshots in minecraft #i saw someone else do a cute apple house and got inspired to give it a shot #had to experiment with the blocks a bit tho #red terracotta was too dull #so this is mostly red concrete red wool and mangrove planks since i needed stairs for the angles #oh green wool for the leaf #and stripped dark oak logs plus one dark oak staircase for the stem #this is my first time making a 'food house' on minecraft #i've made animal statues before #well not a ton #just a sheep #and then technoblade as a pig with a crown and cape #but i think the apple turned out alright #the shape was tricky but i think this is a decent apple shape

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possiblyawesometmblr · 1 year

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Dream SMP, Hermitcraft SMP Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Technoblade & Phil Watson | Philza Characters: Phil Watson | Philza, Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar, Scott Major | Smajor1995, Oliver Brotherhood | Mumbo Jumbo Additional Tags: Aftermath of Violence, Childhood Trauma, techno went through an Extremely Terrible Thing, Patricide, unintentional patricide, Blood and Injury, monster hunt, Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar, Technoblade & Phil Watson | Philza-centric, a little bit of hot guy scar, i am not immune to the good times, Mentioned Charles | Grian, Mentioned Steffen Mössner | Docm77, mentioned technodad, he's dead i'm so sorry, background desertduo, we'll get more into that later, phil accidentally adopts his first child at age 13, whoops, Fae Curses, Curses, Technoblade Hears Voices (Video Blogging RPF), Alternate Universe - Fae Series: Part 4 of tales from enderlon (the fae au) Summary:

The first time Phil met the Blade, he was far less formidable.

That doesn't mean he wasn't dangerous.

#wooo more fae au one shots #philza #philza minecraft #technoblade #emerald duo #goodtimeswithscar #scott smajor #mumbo jumbo #fae au #search for me beyond the yellow petals #sfmbtyp #dream smp #hermitcraft #that's right i'm dragging the hermits into this now #no one is safe from the fae au #fanfic #dream smp fic #philza centric fic

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butch-bakugo · 2 years

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YOOO racist bitch pig technoblade dsmp man fucking finally died shdkskk

Haha rot in hell you incel racist bitch

#levi speaks #all the posts are boohoo #and white knighting #lol no one cares that a racist mcyter died #he was a pos and deserved to rot #imma go take a shot #fuck you dsmps lol #get bitched #tagging cause remininding these white ass stans that the only good racist is a dead one #technoblade #dsmp #dream smp #rest in shit technobitch

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wormyshrooms · 2 years

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i have one shots for yall if you want them,,, n a technoblade centric multi chapter fic that is almost done! gah idk i have never posted any of my writing before so ouuugh

#dsmp #mcyt #technoblade #dream smp #for my one shots its a pick your poison type thing cause all are either angsty or gorey lol #wormy whispers

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sardonic-the-writer · 1 year

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—the forge

SUMMARY | (Y/n) just came to give Phil his diamond armor. They didn't plan on meeting Father Fragrance today

PAIRING | c!schlatt x reader

WORD COUNT | 2k+

REQUESTED | no

WARNINGS | n/a

AUTHORS NOTES | We collectively need more osmp content in the world

🕷 Masterlist 🕷 Navigation 🕷 Rules 🕷

Somewhere, in a place that no one has ever heard of, there lies a small town in the heart of a fair, open country. It lays along the glittering sealine where people of all shapes and sizes eventually end up.

Phil had picked a nice place to meet.

It was a small ledge that seemed to invite you to sit on it. A stretch of grass acting as a pillow that overlooked the entire valley, so high up it felt as if your head could graze the clouds if you jumped.

Gusts of wind would tickle your face and rustle the grass. It reminded (Y/n) a lot of their forge a few miles back. Quiet. A place to go and be yourself without fear of any unwanted neighbors or prying eyes. Baren, but filled with so much nature at the same time.

The diamond armor that had bounced against (Y/n)'s hip through their entire walk out there now lay spread out next to them as they sat on the ground in a criss cross position. They were careful not to get any mud or dirt on it, too self concious of exactly how long it had taken to make the set.

Phil had flown out to commission the protective layer not long ago—being one of the only people who knew where they resided. Minus Tommy. (Y/n) still had no idea how he had found them, but were fine with it as long as he didn't go around shouting their adress. Which he hadn't yet; as far as they knew.

The request from Phil had been an interesting one to work on. Diamond armor light enough to fly while wearing, but thick enough to stop any sharp objects from imbedding themself in ones gut. Netherite would have been the preferred materal to protect oneself in, but Phil had learned early on that flying with it on was quite literally impossible. The same would have gone for dimond as well, but thankfully he had gone to (Y/n). Widely regarded as the best blacksmith around. Or the only blacksmith really. Not many takers for the job. A shocker concidering the demand for weapons and other items.

Sometimes it seemed like they could spin magic from their very own hands. Some might have chalked it up to (Y/n)'s iron golem genes/hybrid, others speculating they might be part blaze, (which was definitely wrong concidering that if that was true they wouldn't be able to leave the neather) but (Y/n) knew better.

They simply cared for things more. Stuff got broken all the time on the server. Smashed, shattered, snapped, chipped. You name it, they've probably been asked to repair it. But never once had it been an item of their own. To them, every piece of furniture glassware and clothing had a soul. Individual qualities that held them seperate from any other. Ruining someones hand crafted work felt like ruining someone's legacy to (Y/n). Needless to say they were always very careful with the things they owned. And in turn, the things they made.

Footsteps snapped (Y/n) out of their peaceful trance of looking at the crystal blue sky dotted with fluffy clouds. Gathering their things, they stood in preparation to meet with the very man that had organized this entire thing.

"Oh. Hello Techno." (Y/n) was surprised to see not one but two people facing them, the aforementioned bunny hybrid standing aside a slightly shorter man—although everyone seemed shorter in comparison to Technoblade.

He held a basket of carrots in one hand, the other awkwardly scratching the back of his neck as he shifted his weight from foot to foot every so often. Anyone else would have misread his body language as that of someone that had been forced to tag along. But (Y/n) knew better to know that if he didn't want to be here, he wouldn't. Simple as that.

A small wave was offered in their direction as his greeting, lightly glaring at Phil next to him when the green cloaked man rolled his eyes with a snicker.

"You could have just sent me with the carrots instead of showing up if you wanted to mate." Phil snickered. Techno deadpanned in his direction, the pink bunny ears on his head twitching.

"Ehhh it's nicer to give em in person. Needed some more gold while I was out anyways." He grumbled lowly, talking as if (Y/n) wasn't right across from him. They didn't mind though.

Phil let out the signature cackle of his, elbowing Techno as he went to shove his hands in the messenger bag hanging around his neck.

"Here. For the armor." Two handfuls of various minerals were presented to (Y/n) ceremoniously. They spotted a few red and green stones somewhere in there, causing them to shake their head at the expense Phil was spending on them.

"I told you when you asked for it—its free. Concider it me paying you back after so many favors." (Y/n) inhaled. They placed a hand on their hip daring Phil to retort. Unfortunately he had never really been one to back down in these situations.

"Favors? What, like me shooing Tommy off your roof that one time?" A laugh. "That doesn't count mate. Just take them. I know you don't like receiving gifts and all, but you're getting some today anyway whether you like it or not." Phil referred back to the wooden basket of carrots hanging around Technos wrist.

"A thank ya for tha' garden set you made me last month. 'Member you eyeing my carrot patch and thought you might like a few." Techno blew a few strands of long pink hair out of his face as he spoke, quickly butting into the conversation as to clarify why he was there. (Y/n) allowed themself a happy smile at his words, resisting the urge to make grabby hands at the food. It was known far and wide Techno's garden yealded only the best, as well as the fact he didn't share it with just anyone. So this was the ultimate prize.

Exchanges of items and food alike were swapped, chatter flowing along with it as the group of three ignored their aching feet to carry a conversation. It might have gone on untill the sun dipped beyond the horizon and his lady the moon rose with all her glory, if not for a pair of rapidly approaching footsteps, bringing along a sense of chaos with it. (Y/n) felt it before they heard it.

"Okay, who the FUCK is trespassing."

Three sets of eyes turned to connect with a disheviled figure.

Ram horns curled from the sides of his face, the beginnings of them covered with unruly brown tresses. They were a deep cream colored and looked sharp to the touch. Sort of like the rest of him. Sharp to the touch, akin the thorns in a prickle bush. Probably annoying as such too concidering his dramatic entrance.

(Y/n) blinked once as they surveyed his outfit (a collection of rich purples robes with a cross on it), trying to decide whether they should be annoyed or confused. They settled on both.

"Oh heyyy Schlatt." Phils wings stretched out when he drew out the y, nearly knocking Techno over with a "bruh".

"Don't you hey Schlatt me bitch!" The newcomer now known as Schlatt fumed. "What the hell are you doing conducting business on my terf!" His hands gestured all over the place, and (Y/n) had to blink once to make sure they weren't seeing things. It had looked for a second like he had eight arms, a set of inky black pincers protruding from his mouth. But they were gone as soon as they came, dispelling (Y/n)'s interest with them.

Phil held his hands up in a sign of peace at the yelling. He attempted to reason with the angry man who was stomping closer, robes ruffling in the wind. Technos arms flexed at the sight of someone so angry approaching the avian, but relaxed when Schlatt stopped a few feet away from his friend.

"Who's this clown." (Y/n) figured it was safe enough to talk to Techno in a wisper now that the other two people were engaged in a conversation. They didn't take their eyes off of Phil and his companion all the while, not managing to catch the upward quirk of Technos lips when they resorted to calling Schlatt a clown.

"Jschlatt, but he keeps tryna get people to call him Father Fragrance." He whispered back to them. (Y/n) looked at him with an expression like they had just smelled something bad, only getting a shrug in return.

"He can make you smell stuff."

"Gee thanks Tech. Would've had a hard time figuring out that one without you."

Techno wheezed a little bit, eyes scruntching up along with (Y/n)'s own smile.

"—and you!"

A finger was now being pointed harshly into (Y/n)'s chest, a piercing gaze accompanying it. And with plenty malic to spare I should add—which ruined the moment they were having with Techno.

"You of all people have the nerve to sell on Father Frangrences land?" Schlatt cackled and threw his head back while (Y/n) got the feeling they missed the better part of this conversation. "I think not!"

(Y/n) stood for a moment before letting a little giggle slip loose. Something that made the man currently towering over them falter.

"Right. Father Fragrance, referring to himself in the third person while wearing wannabe jesus robes and having a name that sounds like a sneeze." They exhaled our of their nose in a laugh. "I'm very scared right now, oh trust me."

"Are they sassing me—are you sassing me!?" He had first looked to Phil for an answer before gathering himself and leaning closer to (Y/n).

"I don't know. Did the seventies just call and ask for their mutton chops back?"

One of his hands came up to touch his facial hair, the skin surrounding it growing red as his jaw clenched with embarrassment and fury. That didn't last long though as the one sided screamed matched was snipped short.

"It was nice seeing you again, Phil. Techno." (Y/n) pushed past the sputtering Schlatt to gather their things, now full-on ignoring him as they got ready to leave. The closest they got to acknowledging him was nearly breaking character when they caught Techno's eye, swallowing down laugher.

"Adios." They saluted the group like an actor taking their final bow before dissapearing into the treeline. It wasn't untill the noise of their travel had completely gone mute did anyone speak.

"Who the actually fuck was that!" Schlatt growled, throwing his hands up as he resisted the urge to spit poison at the nearby trees.

"That my friend—" Phil laughed as he clapped a hand down on the self proclaimed priest shoulder. "—was you finally meeting your match."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

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genevawren38 · 1 year

Text

Breathing Just to Survive, It's Time to Bring Us Back to Life

✨q!Philza & Chayanne

✨A non-canon QSMP tale

✨3.3k W.C.

✨q!Philza-centric

✨Graphic Depictions Of Violence

✨Rise by Ashes Remain

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lyleswrites · 1 year

Text

i wrote

#dreamsmp #lyleswrites #mcyt #minecraft #techno #technoblade #tommy #fanfic #fanfiction #one shot

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abeehiltz1159 · 2 years

Text

Explosions and Witches

A hooded figure walked silently through the dark forest, his black cloak covering his face and warding off the worst of the early autumn chill. He knelt in the grass and cut some herbs from their stems, tucking them into a pouch hanging on his belt.

Once he was done, he snapped his fingers and his broom came flying through the trees into his hand. He mounted and flew home, the wind pushing his hood back and revealing his hair: half white, half black. Green and red eyes scanned the landscape for his cottage.

He dismounted quickly and entered his home, his cat coming and rubbing her head against his ankles in welcome.

“Hey, Enderchest,” the witch said. He reached down and scratched the cat behind the ears. “We’re gonna be pretty busy tonight, okay?”

Enderchest mewed in agreement.

The witch moved to his cauldron simmering over the open fire, stirring the potion and sparing a glance back at his patients laid out on blankets on the floor.

He sighed and added the herbs he had gathered to the potion, mixing it with a wooden ladle and turning the liquid blue. Once the new herbs were dissolved, he carefully poured a ladleful into a small cup and made his way back to his patients.

Explosion, he thought. They’d gotten caught in an explosion.

He gently lifted the head of the boy with the least damage and poured the potion into his mouth, calmly encouraging him to swallow and giving a little praise when he obeyed.

“Good job,” he whispered. “Now go back to sleep. I need to help everyone else.”

He filled the cup again and helped his other patients, reapplying bandages, soothing burns, quieting the groans and whimpers that came from each one. They were doing better than they had a week ago, when he found them crumpled and bleeding in the snow outside Snowchester.

The boy was roused when he heard the others groaning in pain. He pushed himself up onto his elbows to see what was going on.

“Wilbur?” He managed to say.

The witch looked over at him. “I told you to sleep.”

“I’m not very good at taking orders.”

“So I see.” The witch tilted his head. “Well, if you’re awake, would you mind telling me what happened?”

The boy seemed groggy from sleep, but he said, “Tubbo was in his workshop and was locked in. He called us and we helped him out, but we triggered his defense system. He couldn’t reach the controls in his lab.”

The witch’s eyes widened. “What does he build?”

“Explosives.” The boy shifted. “He’s working on making nukes, I think.”

The witch stared, dumbfounded. “How old is he?”

“Seventeen.”

“Seventeen?!”

“He’s pretty smart.”

“Must be.” The witch shook his head. “Kids these days.”

“Hey!” The boy protested, his voice slightly slurred. “We’re not kids!”

The witch ignored him and gathered more potion. The one with wings had yet to be conscious and he was getting worried. Would he be able to heal the wings? With that much damage?

How did he even have wings?

The witch carefully poured the potion down the winged man’s throat, then poured more over his wings.

“What are you giving Phil?” The boy asked.

“A healing potion.” The witch frowned. “Do you know how he has wings?”

“Uh.” The boy frowned, then winced as it tugged at his sore jaw. “I dunno. They’ve been there as long as I can remember. He mentioned something about a raven once, though.”

The witch stiffened. Raven? The Raven? The most powerful witch to ever exist?

She knew this man?

He gave a mere hum of interest while his mind reeled. “Raven, huh?”

“Yeah,” the boy said. “He said she was a witch, but I don’t think he was being serious. Wilbur says witches aren’t real.”

The witch sighed. Of course. Witch population had been so much higher a century ago, but one witch who had little power but massive influence managed to wipe out most of them. He had the burns on his back to prove he’d been there when they burned his home village to the ground.

“That one’s Wilbur,” the boy offered, pointing at the taller brunet. “The one next to him is Techno.”

The witch merely nodded. Clearly, the boy didn’t know the significance of names. Instead of listening properly, he mentally labeled them all.

The boy who was awake: Blondie.

The dude with black wings: Crow.

The guy with a pink braid: Pink.

The tall brunet: Tall.

The short brunet: Short.

Blondie seemed to be doing better. The witch gave him more potion, told him to stop talking, and went over to Short.

Short had the worst damage of them all. Most of his wounds had been cauterized by the fires after the explosions and cooled by the snow. The scars left behind were ugly, disfiguring the kid’s face and nearly sealing his eyes shut.

The witch winced.

He heard the shuffling of cloth and found Tall beginning to move. Enderchest instantly went to investigate, shoving her face into his neck to gather his scent.

“Enderchest!” he scolded. “Stop! Stop that right now!”

Enderchest seemed to glower at him, but she hesitantly obeyed. Once she thought her owner wasn't looking, she sniffed Tall again.

The witch sighed and began trying to get Short to drink the potion. He managed to stir the boy enough for him to swallow it in small portions at a time. After about five doses, the charred black began to fade. The witch carefully washed them with a cloth wet with cold water.

He did this routine four more times before moving to Pink—most of his burns were on his back and shoulders. Most of what must have been an elegant braid had been burned away, leaving his hair barely shorter than Blondie’s. The witch washed his burns again and redid his bandages. He was relieved to see Pink’s eyes flutter.

Then he felt his back slam against the wall, Pink’s forearm across his throat. The witch stared at him, eyes wide, but made no move to escape.

“Who are you?” Pink demanded. When the witch did not respond, he slammed him into the wall again. “Who are you, where am I, and what are you doing to me?”

The witch managed to gasp out, “I can’t . . . really . . . talk . . . while . . . you’re . . . cutting . . . off . . . my airflow.”

Pink released him, and he fell to the floor. Enderchest ran over to him. He picked her up and pressed his cheek against her head as she hissed at Pink, her pupils needle-thin slits.

“I can’t tell you my name for both your safety and mine,” the witch said carefully. “You’re in my cottage a few dozen miles south of Snowchester. I’m currently trying to save your life with healing potions and I’m using a ton of my energy doing so.”

Pink’s anger seemed to fade. “What about everyone else?”

“Short has the worst damage, Blondie has the least.” The witch put Enderchest back on the ground. She instantly went to Tall, curling up next to him and purring. “Crow’s wings were screwed up really badly, but he got away with two-degree burns on his ankles. Tall has a lot of burns all the way up his spine. You have a lot of damage on your upper back and shoulders.”

Pink tilted his head. “What’s with the nicknames?”

“I can’t let you know my name,” the witch said, walking back over to his cauldron. “And I can’t know yours. It’s for the best.”

Pink sat back down on his blankets. “But why?”

The witch groaned. “I can’t offer the full explanation. It’s too dangerous.”

A few moments of silence passed. The witch gave a dose of potion to Tall, forcing Enderchest to move aside so he could get him to sit up. He then began treating the man’s burns, redoing his bandages and using his wand to use small spells as well as potions.

Then Pink said, “You’re a witch, aren’t you? That’s why you can’t tell me your name.”

The witch shuddered. He remembered the night of the attack against witches vividly—the fire, the screams, the smell of burnt flesh and smoke, and that mask—

He dropped the cup.

Pink managed his way over to him. “Oh, uh, sorry.” He cleared his throat. “I–I’m sorry.”

The witch looked at him. “Yes, I’m a witch. It used to be normal to encounter a witch or two every few years, but now very few of us still exist. Blondie over there seems to think witches don’t exist.” His heterochromatic eyes narrowed. “Now tell me.

“Do you believe in witches?”

— — — —

Crow finally woke when the witch was working on his wings a few weeks later.

“What’re you doing?” he asked.

The witch said, “Restoring your gift.”

Crow merely nodded. “I like flying.”

“I can imagine.” The witch held a cup of healing potion to his lips. “Can you drink this for me?”

Crow managed to drink the cup while lying on his side, a feat the witch found most impressive. He continued using what healing spells he knew to restore muscle and skin to the bones in Crow’s wings, to make them capable of growing feathers so he could fly again one day.

The witch finally whispered, “You met Raven, didn’t you?”

Crow stiffened. “Have you?”

“I’ve heard stories,” the witch said quietly, pressing a cool washcloth to Crow’s burns along his ankles and calves. “But no, I’ve never met her. I want to, but nobody knows where she is.”

“She told me she was moving away,” Crow muttered. “I never saw her again.”

The witch smiled sadly. “It’s not often that a regular human meets a witch, especially not one as powerful and respected as The Raven.” He sighed. “Is she truly as striking as the stories say?”

“Even more,” Crow said. “She was the most extraordinary person I've ever met.”

The witch was silent. Then he whispered, “You can’t fall in love with a witch, Crow. You'd die before she had the chance to say goodbye, and you’d be six feet deep before she’d be able to mourn you.”

Crow didn’t know when he had started crying, but now found he couldn’t stop.

“I’m sorry.”

Crow’s fingers curled into fists. “Just . . . preserve what little I have left of her, okay?"

“I will,” the witch promised. “I swear, I will.”

Movement from across the room stole the witch’s attention, who instantly jumped up and ran over. “Short, can you hear me?”

Short managed a nod, then groaned.

“The room probably just spun, didn’t it?” the witch asked calmly. Short looked up at him with misery clouding his eyes. “I’m here to help the spinning go away, okay? Can I do that?”

Since his interaction with Pink, the witch had tried his best to ask for permission to heal them any further to prevent any more accidents.

“Blink once if yes, two if no,” he said.

Short blinked once, his eyes pleading.

The witch got him to drink more potion and soothed his burns again and again until Short was finally able to sleep. He sighed and wrapped Short in bandages.

“Is he okay?” Crow asked.

“Far from it,” the witch answered. “But he’ll live. He’s going to have nasty scars, though.”

Crow nodded. “Can I sit up?”

The witch hurried to help him. Once Crow was sitting, the witch gave him a dose of potion and told him to not move his wings and avoid letting his legs come in contact with anything.

Pink groaned and managed to sit up on his own.

“How’re you?” The witch asked.

“Better, thank you.” Pink touched his hair. “I feel bald without my braid.”

The witch laughed. “It’ll grow back. It’s not like it’s permanently short if it managed to be down to your waist before.”

“Well, you two seem to have bonded,” Crow mused.

“I threw him against the wall.”

“You what?!”

The witch dismissed Crow’s concerns. “I’m fine. Pink’s condition is more worrisome.”

Crow managed a smile. “Can I have something to eat, mate?”

“Oh!” The witch facepalmed. “Food! I forgot. Okay, yeah, uh.” He rummaged through his cupboards and finally handed him a basket of apples. “You guys can take this whole basket. Short won’t be able to eat solid food for a while, so I might make him applesauce or something, but I have three of these.”

Pink took an apple. “Thank you.”

The witch nodded and went to give Tall more potion. Tall finally woke up on the second dose, and the witch helped him sit up and lean against the wall, making him groan.

“Are you okay, mate?” Crow asked through a bite of apple.

Tall blinked. His unfocused eyes landed on Enderchest, and he stretched out his arms and made grabby hands at her. “Kitty!!”

Enderchest happily curled up in his lap.

Pink frowned and turned to the witch. “Why is he acting like a little kid?”

The witch smiled. “It’s just a side effect of the potion. I tried injecting it into his system, which seemed to have worked pretty well. I’ve been doing it with Short, but only because he has the worst. Blondie sounded drunk when he woke up the first time.” He laughed. “You all seemed emotional.”

Crow chuckled, wincing slightly when it moved his wings. “Drunk Blondie isn’t someone I’m eager to meet.”

Blondie was roused by the chatter and managed to scowl at Crow. “I’m a fantastic individual.”

Short began to move. The witch rushed to him, waving his hand in front of the boy’s face. “Are you awake?”

Short pried his eyes open.

The witch sighed with relief. “I’m gonna get you another dose, alright? Just stay still.” He looked back at Blondie. “Can you keep him awake while I get more potion?”

Blondie nodded and managed his way over to Short, who had been laid out on the only bed in the two-roomed cottage, and instantly grimaced upon seeing his disfigured face. He cursed. “How’re you feeling, Tubs?”

Short’s eyes narrowed. His fingers twitched in a vain attempt to flip Blondie off, to which Blondie just laughed.

The witch came back with a larger bowl of potion and a handful of damp rags. “At least he’s awake.” He set the bowl on the nightstand and took out the cup he used for administering dosages. “I’ve been using spells to ward off the pain, but I don’t know how effective they’ve been. Can you drink this for me?”

Short took small sips, whimpering. The witch’s expression clouded with sympathy as he replaced the wet rags and bandages around Short’s torso. “You’ll be okay, I promise.”

Pink cleared his throat. “Have you been getting any sleep since the accident?”

The witch shook his head. “I haven’t had time for rest.”

Crow looked concerned. “How long has it been?”

“Uhh.” The witch frowned. “Twenty-something days. I think.”

“Twenty—” Crow spluttered. “And we’re just now waking up?”

The witch’s glowing heterochromatic eyes met his. “Short wasn't breathing when I found you. You’re lucky I was even there or all five of you would have died.”

“How did you know where we were?” Tall asked.

“It’s kind of hard to miss a massive explosion this close to my house.”

Tall shrugged. “Fair enough.”

“Do you ever get lonely?” Blondie asked.

The witch smiled. “I have Enderchest.”

Enderchest, hearing her name, looked up from where she had stretched out on the floor and walked over to her owner, jumping up on his knees. He petted her gently, making her purr.

The witch gave another painful dose of potion to Short. “It is nice to have the occasional human company, though.”

Enderchest, offended, tried to bite his elbow.

— — — —

The day Short sat up was a glorious one, though it was nothing compared to when he finally stood and walked.

The witch guided him carefully around the cottage. He eventually took him outside, bringing him to his garden, which was going wild without weeks of proper care.

Short seemed to like the flowers and even identified some of them. They ended up just standing in the flowerbed, admiring them.

When Short could walk on his own, the witch often found him in the garden, staring at the flowers.

Finally, nearly a month after the explosions, they were well enough to go home. The witch gave Crow a few bottles of healing potion in case Short’s burns ever flared up and gave him instructions on how to make more if necessary. He once again found Short in the garden, Blondie standing next to him, talking. Pink and Tall thanked him for his help and all five went off back toward where the explosions had occurred.

The witch stood in the doorway, watching them leave, all with interesting new scars. He held Enderchest close to his chest, watching until they disappeared into the woods.

“Farewell,” he whispered.

Over the months that passed, he began to wonder how they were doing. Sure, he had the occasional patients, but never such a talkative group for so long. They were permanently stuck in his memory, stubbornly refusing to leave.

Then, one day as he was tending to his garden, a black feather fluttered down from the sky and landed next to him in the soil.

With a smile, he picked it up.

Crow was finally flying again.

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