#talking about ocs gives me anxiety sometimes for some reason
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Answer this on private if you want, but I wanna thank you for talking about ur ocs with me however long ago that was (I think it was during bloodborne or something?? idk). Your little ideas and hcs helped inspire me a shitton in regards to what I could do for my writing, especially when it came to dragons! Your ideas regarding the naming for dragons and how that thing worked, along with your idea of Lannseax having a little sister she looked after have blown my notes and troubled plot ideas into the right direction. You may not know it, but you have a brilliant mind when it comes to this stuff and I wish you luck with whatever silly scenarios you have cooking for your own little blorbos! (make sure you torture them and throw them into angst town >>>)
Have a lovely day and enjoy your weekend!!!!
Thanks, Bim <3
I’m glad I could help you out even though I’m not so good at opening up about my ideas. I’m so used to getting shot down whenever I try and talk about this stuff with other people it can be a little difficult to get my point across sometimes. But do I appreciate your message and thank you again for being so cool about everything.
#talking about ocs gives me anxiety sometimes for some reason#almost like i’m going to get shot for having an idea that others might not like#idk this fandom is a little exhausting at times that’s all#bimbomcgee#answered
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I Want You to Stay (03) | JJK
Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)
Chapter Word count: 14.8k
Series Masterlist
Status: Ongoing
Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlist 🎶: on the way home
A/N: I've been thoroughly enjoying your asks and replies about this story (sorry I can’t get to each one!) I see that a lot can relate to what OC's going through and I'm sending you hugs! 🤗 Again, I appreciate your love and excitement. And uh... Golden JK in that white tank. YUP. 🤭 Hoping you enjoy this one!
And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight 🥰
PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!
The spring in your step tightens the closer you get to Jungkook’s penthouse the next Monday. Walking here to start another week, there’s a mix of emotions you’re carrying with you.
You got to spend a proper weekend. On Friday, you made yourself some cold noodles and then watched a movie with Jimin and Soomin on video call, who’d said they’ll be visiting you in a week. You took the train to Daegu on Saturday, went to the park, then stayed in to enjoy Min-woo’s cooking and the girls’ stories about school and their youth clubs. You then buried yourself in your mother’s embrace as you told her about your week. You didn’t want to say too much, not wanting her to worry that her daughter isn’t being treated well at her job, but you suppose you said enough.
“I wish I was strong enough to protect you from everything,” she’d told you softly. “All I can do is just give you hugs and say words of encouragement that might not even mean much.”
“And you still are, mom. I look forward to being with you because of those hugs. But more than that, you were strong enough to protect me from the bad guys,” you’d assured her. “Jungkook is many things but he’s not a terrible person. I can handle him.”
And you meant it. He may be hot-tempered sometimes but he’s not evil. But just because he made you go home early last Friday, it also doesn’t mean he’s suddenly redeemed in your mind. Sure, he didn’t email you at all over the weekend unlike last time, but he also still didn’t apologize to you nor show remorse.
Perhaps that small nod after he called you telling you that you could go home was his way of saying sorry, or maybe it just isn’t in his vocabulary. You wonder if Hoseok had told him off but even then, it’s a pretty quick change, if you could call it that.
Regardless, you felt like a human being again these past few days; you just wish Jungkook woke up on the right side of the bed this morning and doesn’t find a reason to complain about you.
Unlocking the door, you’re surprised to hear silence - there are no grunts and deep breaths nor the sound of leather hitting leather from his morning workout. You scan the floor before walking around - a habit you’ve developed after finding that laced underwear last week - and then peep into the door on the right, only to find untouched equipment and no other traces of him.
You’re in the living room when you hear another door close, prompting you to turn around and see a woman appearing from the hallway on the other side of the penthouse. Her hair’s a bit disheveled and she’s wearing one of Jungkook’s coats that you saw in his closet.
“Uh, who are you?” The woman scoffs, her arms crossed and eyebrows raised now.
Taken aback, you just stare at her, until you realize she’s not wearing anything underneath so you look away.
You try to make sense of who she is and how you could get out of this situation. You know for a fact that Jungkook doesn’t have a girlfriend, at least that’s what Lucas had told you, but who knows what Jungkook’s been up to since he got back? There was that red laced underwear from last week after all. Maybe he does sleep around like what Do-hyun said. Maybe this woman just doesn’t know Jungkook has a female assistant. Maybe he’s—
“Hey, I’m talking to you,” she says, sounding more annoyed now.
“Oh. Uh, I’m Mr. Jeon’s—”
“She’s my assistant,” Jungkook answers, catching you off guard, given that you hadn’t noticed him walk in.
He’s not in his usual workout attire, although him in a white tank top and gray sweatpants with mussed hair somehow seems more overwhelming than him in nothing but gym shorts. You glance at him as he stands next to the woman, whose face suddenly lights up. Not wanting to look at her, you shift your gaze towards the ceiling, trying hard not to look awkward as you’re rooted in place.
The woman looks at you from head to toe and you feel her judging you, assessing you, while Jungkook stands there, yawning and combing his hair with his fingers.
“Just your assistant?” She asks, sounding incredulous.
“Yeah. What else would she be?” Jungkook answers nonchalantly. Looking at you, he nods ever so slightly that you almost miss it, another hint of acknowledgement you’d seen last Friday. “Just eggs on toast. And coffee.”
“Yes, Mr. Jeon,” you say, exhaling the breath you were holding and then walking to the kitchen to start on his breakfast.
“I don’t know, another one of your girls? I see you with a new one every time,” she huffs, sounding bitter, but Jungkook doesn’t sound amused.
“What are you still doing here?” He asks, walking to where you are then taking the glass of water you prepare for him. “I called a service for you last night.”
“I was too tired,” she says, and you don’t miss the sultry tone of her voice now. “You tired me out, Jungkook. I could barely get off the bed.”
“And why are you still here?” He asks, clearly not having it with her teasing.
“Because I’m still tired,” she smirks, having followed him to the kitchen.
You feel tense once more; you definitely don’t want to be part of this conversation in any way nor be privy to it, especially given what obviously happened between them last night. And especially not with Jungkook looking and sounding the way he does this early Monday morning.
“And I was thirsty,” she continues.
He sets his glass down and opens the refrigerator and takes out a bottle of water that he hands over to her.
“Ugh, how romantic,” she rolls her eyes, finishing it in a few gulps.
“I have to go to work,” he tells her, frustrated that she’s being stubborn about not leaving when he no longer seems to want her around.
“Actual work, or, you know, work?” She says, gesturing towards you.
You make the mistake of looking at her smug face, the insinuation not lost on you. It’s insane how she can just make claims like that, and you feel that just like you, Jungkook’s getting pissed.
“Can you just leave?” He says much more sternly now. “I can’t start my day with you still here.”
“Ooh, how rude,” she giggles. “Should’ve expected you’d be like that even outside of bed. I like that.”
She walks back to the room, leaving you and Jungkook on your own. You continue to work on his eggs while he stands by the counter, rubbing his temples. You’re unsure if it’s because of her or from last night’s alcohol, but you get aspirin and also a bottle of energy drink and set them in front of him before returning to preparing his meal.
The woman comes back shortly in last night’s attire then walks towards Jungkook.
“I’m leaving,” she announces, tilting his chin so he would face her. “I’ll see you again, yeah?”
Jungkook turns away and does not respond, leaving her to laugh as if there’s a joke that only she’s in on.
“Going all quiet on me now, huh?” She says. “You weren’t like that last night. I can still hear your moans, actually. Fuck, they sounded so good and so loud.”
You almost hit your finger as you slice the apple, clearly not expecting for this stranger to say something so intimate, knowing there’s another person in the room with them. You don’t know if she wants to intimidate you for whatever reason or maybe just make you feel uncomfortable. Whatever it is, it’s working, as you’re unable to focus on the task at hand now.
Jungkook still doesn’t say anything, and it’s what prompts her to finally say goodbye.
“Fine, I’ll leave now,” she whines. “But that was an amazing first time. I hope it won’t be the last.”
Her giggle annoys you for some reason, even more when you mistakenly look her way. Her smug face unnerves you as she holds your gaze while she says, “I’ll see you again, okay? I’ll make sure you’ll scream my name next time,” the words obviously directed at Jungkook.
She finally exits the penthouse but she doesn’t take the tension with her because in this large apartment with you and him, you feel a little too hot, a little too alert, yet somehow a little too curious.
Jungkook groans now as he finishes his energy drink, and he doesn’t know what he’s more frustrated about - the fact that the woman whose name he doesn’t remember didn’t go home, or that you’d found out about it in the most embarrassing way and he’d done nothing to stop her attempts at making you feel uncomfortable because that’s definitely what she was doing.
He doesn’t know how it affected you but even he can tell that it wouldn’t have been good. Not that he’s ashamed of his lifestyle but it’s different when you, of all people, get to see what that looks like. You did see the laced underwear on his kitchen floor last week, and he knows you definitely tried to pretend you hadn’t. Perhaps the image of arrogant, playboy Jungkook just solidified in your head and the fact that maybe that’s what you think of him is making him feel uneasy.
Not that he cares about what you think - he definitely does not - but he just doesn’t want that to affect how you would treat him in a professional sense, as if he’s some reckless man who works too hard and parties much harder, even if that’s kind of what he does.
The hangover doesn’t help at all; he shouldn’t have chugged that wine while the woman was giving him head, which was amazing, he reminds himself. He just knows he won’t be seeing her again after this morning because she’d been stubborn and shameless, and definitely not because of how she spoke to you and the insinuations she made.
“Mr. Jeon, your breakfast is ready,” you inform him, breaking him out of his thoughts.
He takes a seat on the table and you sit next to him, taking out your iPad to start your rundown of last Friday’s meeting and this week’s schedule.
“So—”
“Wait, give me a minute,” he stops you, and he realizes just how little sleep he actually got and he’s gonna have to push through today’s busy schedule despite feeling physically out of it.
“Okay, sir,” you say softly.
He munches on his toast with his eyes closed, and when he opens them, his gaze falls on you, sitting upright on the chair looking clean and proper in your blush blouse and beige skirt. You seem to be reviewing the reports from last week, your eyebrows scrunched as you scribble on the screen. He knows you took the hours-long trip to and from Daegu over the weekend; the visit, just like any, must have been tiring. Yet you come to his place everyday without fail, ready to do what he needs you to do, and he doesn’t even know if you’ve had anything to eat yet.
“Have you had breakfast?” He asks.
“E-excuse me?”
“Breakfast. Have you had it?”
“O-oh. Yes, I had some crackers and fruit on the way. I ate on the bus,” you respond.
He remembers your address from your staff profile. You live about 40 minutes from him, almost double if you commute. You come at 6:30 everyday, so he can only imagine what it’s like for you every morning.
“Why don’t you drive?”
“I don’t have a car, sir.”
“Shouldn’t that be part of your contract? Or a benefit of some sort?”
“It isn’t. I believe only the CEO’s assistant does,” you respond.
“Bitna has a company car.”
“Ms. Jung requested that when she was still President.”
“Then I’ll request one for you. It's… it’s too early. And you can’t always be assured of public transportation. There could be delays. Or an emergency that would require you to drive.”
Of course, he’d want you to get a car so that you’re more accessible to him. Just when you thought there’s actually a bit of his heart working this time, he reminds you why there isn’t.
“That’s true, but nothing has happened so far. And there are other options should there be,” you say. “I also don’t know how to drive so there is no need, Mr. Jeon. I leave my apartment early enough to make sure I get here on time, and I’ll let you know if I will be late.”
Jungkook just hums, even if there’s more he wants to know. What about late nights? What if there’s a storm? Well, he does know - he did see you miss out on taxis and then just walk last Tuesday; he wonders how you got home then, and how many hours of sleep you had after all that.
He lets it go; it’s too early to think about this.
“Good. We can run through the minutes now,” he says.
So you do, stating the points and confirming your actions for each one and then noting down his as well. You try to focus, and you’re able to for the most part, but it’s not easy when he sits just a few feet away from you, with his bare arms propped on the table that’s just hard to look away from.
You’ve always liked tattoos on other people, and the art on his right arm looks so delicate and personal; you wonder what someone like him would value enough to ink permanently on his skin. Even his untouched arm is mesmerizing, toned like every other part of him, with beauty marks that you spot as well. It doesn’t help that his slightly long hair keeps falling over his eyes, prompting him to comb them with his fingers every time.
What also doesn’t help are the woman’s words from earlier, as she’d managed to make you think of Jungkook in a very different way, given her descriptions of how he’d been last night. You don’t know what she intended by doing that, but you didn’t miss her insinuations about your relations with him, which are definitely far from the truth. Learning that he’s rough and loud in bed is also knowledge that you could’ve done without. Somehow, he sounds like how he looks - expressive of negative emotions, and the type to drain the other person.
He also sounds like the guys you’ve slept with.
The thought alarms you. These are things you shouldn’t be thinking about your boss, about the man who pays you, about the one who makes you miss meals and buses and who makes you angry because of how he treats you.
You try to dispel these ideas by coughing - the loud sound helps, and you also want to distract yourself from how distracted you are at your task because somehow he keeps getting more and more attractive after every glance.
He stands up, and just when you thought he’d be angry after your disruption, he surprises you by placing a glass of water in front of you.
“You can drink, you know? You can make yourself a cup of coffee. You can even cook yourself breakfast if it’s just crackers you eat in the morning,” he says.
Yes, you think to yourself. You’ve been wanting to try his coffee because of the fancy machine but breakfast sounds… too domestic.
“Thank you, but I’m okay. I mean, the snacks fill me up just fine.”
“It’s not proper breakfast, though,” he argues.
“With all due respect, sir, eating takes time away from all the things I have to do. I manage just fine.”
Expecting an annoyed expression from him because you did just imply that you do too much, you instead see the tiniest hint of guilt on his face, as if he actually feels bad that you’re unable to take care of yourself because of him.
“You’re not a servant, Ms. Cho. You’re not disallowed to do basic things just because of your job.”
“You have standards, Mr. Jeon,” you say, throwing his words back at him. You don’t expect to see his face fall a little, and you’re surprised that you seem to care. “I need to meet them, and I’m still familiarizing myself with how you want things done, and that takes time. I don’t mean to imply that you treat me like a servant because you don’t. I just… I want to be able to do things right and I’m still learning.”
The words hit Jungkook. He knows he’d been too critical during these first weeks, and that’s more because he’s unable to manage the initial attraction that he’s trying so hard to temper. He could’ve gone on correcting you constructively, with no need for harshness the way he did with Lucas when he started.
You’ve also been doing this for a few years. You’ve been working for the VP’s office longer than he has - you know the people and the processes more, yet you’re the one claiming you need to learn and do things right. Even he thinks his father, whom he never thought was the best at looking out for his people, wouldn’t be angry at those below him for irrational reasons. Somehow he thinks he’s worse than his old man now.
But the word sorry isn’t in his vocabulary. He’d rarely ever said it, and the only reason he’d heard it a lot growing up was because people caused his inconvenience, and not because they’d hurt his feelings. He doesn’t know what that’s like - forgiving and wanting to be forgiven. They’re foreign to him, but somehow those are what you’re making him want to know.
“I—”
“Can we move on, Mr. Jeon?” You interrupt him. “You have a scheduled check-in with your father before the 8:30 team meeting.”
“Right, that’s today,” Jungkook says, letting go of any form of apology he could muster.
He nods then stands up to head to his bathroom, and you follow shortly after to arrange his outfits for the week. You clean up in the kitchen after and wait for him to come out, with you reflexively walking up to him to fix his tie and make sure all the creases on his clothes are fixed.
Jungkook tries to remain still as you, like everyday, make sure he looks proper. It always took him a long time to get ready because he used to do all this on his own, but with you taking on the unofficial stylist role - which he admits you do a great job at - he’s relieved of that added stress of looking the part of a Vice President. It just also means that every morning, he has to look unaffected as you stand close to him like this, with you tightening his tie and your fingers grazing his clothed chest.
You smell like roses. It feels warm and nostalgic, like it’s familiar but also something new. It’s refreshing on you, and it wafts through his nose and paralyzes him a little. He tries to hold his breath like always, only briefly glancing at your focused eyes as you make sure he looks impeccable.
He’s caught off guard when you look up and meet his gaze. He doesn’t react, but he does linger and surprisingly, so do you. He wants to apologize but he doesn’t know how to. He just hopes you feel it somehow with how he looks at you; he’d like to think you do, as you gently bow and step back, taking your things to go down.
You go through his schedule while in the car, noting his dinner meetings and that the food tasting for next month’s event with the art industry professionals that you’re both organizing has been moved to next week, freeing up his Thursday lunch hour.
“I’ll schedule my visit at Taehyung’s tailor shop that day then,” Jungkook states. “I’ll have a few suits done.”
“Noted, Mr. Jeon,” you reply, adjusting his calendar.
He doesn’t say anything after. He takes his leather notebook and sketches like he often does, looking out his window only a few times as he’s engrossed in his drawings. Even with all that he is, you can’t deny Jungkook’s talent. You only know he took an architecture course but you don’t know if he actually practices it.
You start to wonder if Jungkook wanted that to be his profession but couldn’t pursue it because he’s expected to manage the company with his cousin. You wonder if he’d always been into drawing and the arts, if it was an outlet the way reading picture books was for you; you’d wanted to become an illustrator but your mother couldn’t afford drawing classes and that profession just didn’t seem like it could sustain you financially. You wonder what Jungkook thinks when he sketches and what his subjects are, if he feels at peace the way he looks, if he hopes he could just spend his days doing this.
The seeming warmth in your thoughts about this man concerns you, prompting you to turn away from his direction and stare out the window instead. You remind yourself that this is the same person who’d made the past two weeks miserable for you; he doesn’t deserve warmth from you in any form, even if, for the briefest moment earlier after you fixed his tie, that’s what you gave him. You learned that he’s quite mesmerizing when he doesn’t talk or when he isn’t scowling. You also learned you’re quite quick to fall into it when you let your guard down a little.
You groan internally. There’s a lot you don’t know about him and you don’t really care to know more; what you know is enough to put you off anyway. And so these moments of weakness - of curiosity, of concern - should not happen again.
Except, they do happen, over an hour later after Jungkook returns to his room from his check-in with his father. He sits on his chair, his eyes closed and jaws clenched, unmoving for a good few minutes, and you watch from your seat, wondering what transpired that’s got him this disturbed.
It happens again an hour later. He moved the team meeting to the afternoon and he’s now furiously typing on his desktop, making calls, sketching, making calls again, then sitting still with his eyes closed once more. Hoseok walks in, merely nodding at you, then enters the room and speaks with the younger man. Jungkook closes the blinds, and you’re left to wonder what’s going on behind closed doors and what’s got him angry and frustrated.
You take your chance at finding out when Hoseok emerges, asking him if everything’s okay, if Jungkook is okay.
“Yeah, he’s fine,” Hoseok says, a half smile on display, something you’re only a tad familiar with. “He’ll manage.”
He rushes out, saying he has a meeting to get to, and you nod, glancing at the closed door and blocked window, wondering what troubles Jungkook is handling on his own. If it’s personal, it’s clearly not your business. But if it’s work-related, then it is. You’re there to make things easier for him, after all. You also don’t want to be surprised and be bombarded by new tasks just in case, so it’s better to know if there’s something you can help in resolving things as well.
You walk in his room then place the ginger lemon tea on his desk, a common home remedy for hangovers, just in case last night’s events are still affecting him. You inform him that you’ve sent the reports already for his sign-off, and he responds that he’ll get to them tomorrow.
Glancing at his drink, he halts his typing to look at you.
“Do I look hungover to you?” He asks pointedly.
It’s clearly not what you meant, but you suppose the insinuation isn’t what he needs right now. You want to be swallowed by the ground. He was already calm towards you, civil even, and now there’s another reason for him to be upset at you. You wanted to avoid any possibility of that as much as possible, and now you’re here, at the verge of being told off again, just because your stupid brain decided to care the tiniest bit.
“I, uh, no, Mr. Jeon,” you stutter. “I just…”
You don’t have a reason. Clearly, you can’t tell him that he hasn’t seemed okay all morning - whatever that means - and that just in case it’s last night’s alcohol affecting him, there’s a cure. You stare back at him with worry, but instead of challenging or questioning you, he just sits back with his eyes closed again and dismisses you.
“You may leave,” he instructs.
“What about lunch, sir?” You ask.
You’d never cared before, why the change now?
“I’m fine,” he responds. “Call me when the meeting’s about to start.”
Your stubborn self takes the box of biscuits from the coffee table and places it in front of him. You’re pushing it, you think, but there’s a meeting he’ll be leading and he can’t be unfocused; when he is, it’s all the worse for you.
He doesn’t react and you walk out. When you enter an hour later to call him, you spot the empty cup and the crumbs on the saucer, and you can’t help the tiny smile that you make internally.
It’s short-lived though, as that whole afternoon, he acts unusually - he barely makes comments at updates, he doesn’t make eye contact, and doesn’t ask further questions. He just nods when you say you’re heading out at 6PM, giving you no added tasks to keep you from leaving.
You enter his penthouse the next morning to the banging of leather hitting leather, prompting you to jerk from the loud sounds. He’s grunting and panting heavily, and you just know that whatever it was that transpired yesterday, he’s releasing all his emotions right now, through this.
He exits the gym and walks to the counter where you are, finishing the water you laid for him in three gulps.
“Do you need that tended to?” You ask.
He looks surprised. You gesture towards his hands and he looks at his bruised knuckles; he really let it all out this morning, it seems.
“I’m fine,” he shrugs.
You didn’t think those two words from him would ever make you feel discouraged, but one thing you’ve come to learn about Jungkook is that he easily expresses his anger and frustration towards other people. It’s when he keeps things in that they seem more serious, and you wonder what words he heard yesterday that might have made him this closed off, this quiet, this much more distant.
But fortunately, your feeling of worry fades with each day that passes, as he slowly returns to his normal self after - the focus, the perpetually serious look, the attention to detail, the sketching on his notebook. Perhaps Jungkook just needed a particular kind of release and he’s maybe handling things better now.
For his sake and yours, you wish the issue has been resolved, otherwise another blow up might happen and that wouldn’t be good for your newfound dynamic that’s a lot more civil than anything.
It’s Thursday when you get a call at 5 in the morning, just as you’ve woken up to get ready for work, and Mr. Ri’s voice greets you on the other end.
“Hi, ___. How are you this morning?”
“Hi, Mr. Ri,” you yawn, curious as to why he’s checking up on you this early. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes,” he hums. “I was instructed by Mr. Jeon to pick you up today.”
“Why would CEO Jeon ask that?” You wonder, as you sleepily walk to the bathroom to wash up.
“He didn’t. Jungkook did.”
You stop on your tracks. You don’t recall being informed about this, nor do you know of any particular reason why you should be at his place so soon.
“Oh, uhm, okay. I should be ready in–”
“I’ll be there in about 50 minutes,” Mr. Ri interjects. “Sleep in a bit more and have some breakfast. I’ll see you shortly.”
You try not to think about what prompted Jungkook to have you picked up, so you focus on getting ready and then whipping yourself some fried rice using the leftover seafood from last night. You won’t lie, it tastes delicious. It might be that you just haven’t had proper weekday breakfast in a while, but it could also be that you’re energized enough and not pressed for time that you’re able to make this as good as it is.
You decide to bring some to Jungkook’s place just in case you get there late. Sure, Mr. Ri will be driving you, but you don’t know how the traffic is at this time, and this change in schedule is somewhat making you anxious. But then again, there’s always bread or cereal for him to eat; you just think that a little act of thanks wouldn’t be so bad.
Mr. Ri arrives exactly 50 minutes later and he assures you that he’ll get you to the penthouse in half an hour. You trust him of course; he’s been with the Jeons for decades and he knows these streets like the back of his hand. Seated in the passenger seat, you try to figure out what about today has got your boss a little kinder than usual.
“I arrived five minutes late yesterday,” you wonder out loud. “Is that why? He has a meeting with a local artist in the morning and he doesn’t want me to be late. That should be it. Ugh, stupid,” you groan. “I should’ve taken the first bus I saw, but it was so full and–”
“___,” Mr. Ri stops you. “Five minutes isn’t much. Plus, you always arrive 10 minutes before 6:30 and then just wait at the lobby. I don’t know why you do, you could always just go up to the penthouse when you get there, you know?”
“No, I don’t. Mr. Jeon has boundaries and clearly likes keeping his distance. Going to his penthouse before I’m supposed to be there feels like I’m intruding,” you argue.
“You’re literally his assistant, and you go to his bedroom and his closet, fix his things, prepare his meals… there’s no intrusion happening,” Mr. Ri counters. “I know the man. He’ll probably just look at you curiously then go about his routine.”
“Well, since you know him so well, then why did he have me picked up this morning?”
There’s a brief silence before the man next to you responds.
“He did note that you were late for the first time, but that wasn’t his issue,” Mr. Ri says, appeasing you before you react negatively and think that your tardiness was a big deal. “He asked if I knew how you got to Hoseok’s place before and I said you would just take the bus; it was closer to your place so it was fine. They have someone to make his breakfast, too, so you didn’t need to come early; plus, you only went every Monday.”
“What a change, huh?” You attempt to poke fun at yourself and the new arrangement you’re in.
Not that you’re complaining; you know of other executive assistants who do much more for their bosses and what you have with Jungkook isn’t even that bad. But it is quite the shift compared to what you did for Hoseok. You’ve figured out your own routine, though. And the commute isn’t always terrible, for as long as you’re not one of the unlucky ones, given the recent incidents.
“It’s quite the change. I don’t think he realized that until yesterday. He also asked me if I know if you eat properly in the morning. Maybe he thinks you don’t?”
“I’ve skipped meals…” you trail. “And well, I told him that I just eat crackers on the bus. Maybe he thinks I’m losing focus some days.”
“Maybe he’s just concerned.”
You snort at the absurdity of the statement.
Mr. Ri sighs. He knows that Jungkook hasn’t been his best self since he arrived in Seoul, and especially towards you. He’s noticed the young man’s indifference, the occasional passive remark, the frustrated looks, and the tension every morning. He’s noticed your faraway eyes, too, your constant anxiety, and unusual lack of confidence in your usual tasks, given that you look to be second-guessing everything you do.
As someone who’s worked for the Jeons for so long and who’d watched Jungkook grow up, he’s used to the detachment, but it was always because the young man often lived in his own head. There are always lots of thoughts and ideas, and lots of feelings he keeps bottled in.
But he’s also seen Jungkook’s kindness that he doesn’t always show, the guilt and anger that restrain him from expressing his emotions, and the care that he seems to put a brake on when he shows too much of it to someone, and so it isn’t much of a surprise to him to him when the young man gave this specific instruction to pick you up, not just today but everyday moving forward.
“The news on the radio reported on the robberies and complaints of sexual harassment against female commuters last night,” Mr. Ri continues. “They attack at any hour now. I’m sure that’s why. He wants me to drive you home everyday, too.”
“Mr. Ri, that’s too much,” you protest. “That’s not part of my contract and it isn’t his responsibility.”
“Maybe, precisely why I think he’s concerned. It isn’t about making sure you’re not late to work or anything. He’s worried that something might happen to you. And I agree. It isn’t safe, ___.”
“It’s not safe for me anywhere. I just… it’s too much,” you sigh. “I don’t need this kind of service. I’m not entitled to it.”
“He’ll insist though. Will you argue with him over your own security? I mean, it’s either this or he’ll pay for your driving lessons and then request for a car for you to use.”
You sigh, knowing he has a point. You don’t think you deserve it but you also can’t deny that the concern makes you feel a certain kind of way for him; gratitude, for one, and something else you can’t exactly name.
“Okay,” you say softly.
“Good. It’s about time he makes it up to you,” he chuckles. “Boy’s been a brat these past weeks. I wanted to just knock some sense into him.”
“Hmm, not like I expected any less,” you huff. “He just looked grumpy or disinterested during the times I’ve seen him before. Unhappy people like that aren’t always the kindest. Has he always been that way?”
“I wouldn’t say he has. I mean, he just wasn’t joyful or expressive, not like his brother. Jungkook liked to keep to himself; Hoseok often tried to push him out of his comfort zone but the boy wouldn’t really budge. I think as he grew up, that just amplified. People who prefer being alone have their reasons, don’t they?”
They do. You know this just like anyone, perhaps as much as Jungkook. It’s comfortable being alone; there’s no one to hurt you and no one you could hurt. You wonder if his reason is the same, and if, like you, he feels the loneliness creep in every once in a while.
You nod in silence and the conversation doesn’t continue until you arrive at Jungkook’s building. You have five minutes to get to his unit and you get there in three. When you enter, you hear grunting from the gym, and it’s shortly after when he exits and drinks the glass of water on the counter.
“What’s that?” He gestures at the plastic container next to you.
“It’s fried rice. I made it this morning because I had time to eat breakfast at home,” you say, softly smiling and then bowing at him to show your gratitude. Whatever his reason is, the act was appreciated.
“And you’re gonna eat again?”
“I was actually–”
You stop midway. You actually meant to serve it to him in case you arrived late, which you realize is pretty ridiculous.
“Actually what?” He asks, leaning forward on the counter now, with his bare arms from his tank top blinding you a little.
“I didn’t know what time I was gonna get here so I thought as a last resort, I’ll bring this to heat up and serve to you but then I realized that that’s pretty stupid because it’s leftovers and definitely not high-quality ingredients and it’s… just silly. Plus, you don’t eat rice in the morning.”
With his scrunched brows, he asks, “is it good?”
“It’s pretty delicious,” you say. “I mean, I liked it. I don’t know how sophisticated your palate is… Mr. Jeon.”
You smack yourself internally for rambling.
“What’s that got to do with anything? If it’s good, then it��s good.”
“I’m an ordinary person, Mr. Jeon. I have normal people’s taste buds.”
“So that makes me, what? Abnormal?”
“No… I–” you unknowingly pout. You shouldn’t have brought this in the first place.
Jungkook is disarmed again at the sight of your pouty face. If this is your way of thanking him for this morning, he’ll take it. The fact that you’d brought something you cooked from your own place to feed to him is already enough to make him feel hazy, which is why he needs to get away from you right away.
“Just heat it up. I’ll have that. There’s not much food in here anyway,” he says, walking away, leaving you no room to resist.
You do as you’re told, not wanting to overthink and change anything. You do check the cupboard and see a stashed pantry, and you wonder if he’d wanted to find something to criticize about your cooking, too.
He walks in and lets you fix his tie again, and for some reason, you feel more nervous than you normally do today. You sit and busy yourself with responding to emails as he eats his breakfast, careful not to look at him while he does.
“It’s good, a little better than how I do mine,” he says, surprising you.
“You cook?” You ask too quickly.
“Of course,” he frowns, looking a little offended. “I lived on my own for years. How do you think I survived?”
“Hiring people to do it for you,” you shrug.
Peeking at him once again, you see that he’s almost finished with the dish, and you can’t help the little smile on your face at the thought that he might actually enjoy it. It’s just fried rice, but you let yourself feel the shallow happiness from this. He’s at least not berating you or anything.
He finishes his meal as you go through yesterday’s meetings. There’s not much about the Arts Center he says, just like yesterday and the day before, and you start to wonder if the issue with his father has anything to do with that.
You let it go, opting to just follow his pace and let him talk about it when he’s ready, if he ever will be.
The morning goes by smoothly. Jungkook meets with Yoongi in his office then reviews the reports you’d sent last Monday. He sends you an email, saying that they’ve been approved and for you to attach his signature for sign-off and dissemination, leaving you perplexed at the lack of any other comments again.
He goes for a quick lunch at the dining hall while you eat a sandwich at the pantry, and not long after, you’re back in the car to head to Jungkook’s appointment with his best friend.
Kim Taehyung’s tailor shop boasts of classic European design. It’s elegant in all the ways that he is, as he stands by the desk in his working space, a smaller room on the mezzanine floor with an exquisite couch and displays of his work. He’s donned in an orange suit that you think only he can pull off, while his brother, Seokjin, sits on a chair in an impeccable black 3-piece.
You know as much that Jungkook grew up with both men, but while the brothers are often a hot topic on the news because of their wealth, their successful businesses, and colorful dating lives, you now wonder how Jungkook managed to stay out of the spotlight despite being a lot of the things that they are.
You bow at them after Jungkook introduces you as his assistant, and you’re surprised when Seokjin reaches out his hand to shake yours, bowing as well and offering you a kind smile. Taehyung does the same, and you can’t help but feel the warmth on your cheeks. They’re clearly incredibly handsome men with amazing styles, just like your boss, but they’re obviously respectful and gentle, unlike him.
“Nice to meet you, Ms. Cho,” Taehyung smiles. “So, what events do I need to dress my best friend for?”
He looks warm, friendly, and you can’t help but mirror his smile as he offers you a seat and some tea. You take out your calendar and enumerate at least three big events in the next months, which would require standout designs. Jungkook also wants four additional everyday classic suits, and Taehyung starts sketching on his pad as you speak.
“Make one for my event, too,” Seokjin says. “I’m launching my traditional alcohol brand in Singapore in September. It’ll be a big thing so Jungkook needs a fancy piece for that as well.”
“That soon?” Jungkook asks.
“Yeah, it got pushed early,” Seokjin replies.
Jungkook asks you to check his calendar for any activities in the Singapore office, and you state that there’s nothing scheduled during that time.
“There’s a landscape designer I want to meet while I’m there. Schedule one with her later,” Jungkook instructs you, and you make a note to coordinate with Lucas, who will continue to serve as the assigned assistant for the Vice President’s Southeast Asia trips.
Taehyung finishes the rough designs quickly, given that he’s already familiar with the style his client wants. He’s done a lot of Jungkook’s suits, which you know from all the weeks of preparing his clothes, and you do admit that he looks best in these custom-made pieces.
As Taehyung takes Jungkook’s measurements - given that, as per his words, Jungkook has gotten wider since the last time - he asks if you have something to wear for those big events, too.
“Uh, yes,” you say.
“Are they from company events from before?” Taehyung asks.
You nod shyly. It’s not like you’re paid enough to afford a new one every time nor can you wear them anywhere else; there aren’t exactly regular fancy dinners and social occasions you get invited to.
“Have new ones made, then,” Jungkook says, his back turned to you.
“Uh, there’s no need, Mr. Jeon. The gowns still look new and they’re well-made,” you insist.
“Store-bought?” Taehyung asks, his eyebrow cocked.
“Uh, yes, Mr. Kim.”
“Nothing beats custom-designed ones though. And I must say, I’m kinda good at them.”
“I, uh… it’s really not necessary,” you stutter, feeling a little too shy and definitely undeserving. It’s Kim Taehyung; his name is the brand.
“I believe it is,” Jungkook says now, turning to you. “They’re big events and we’re organizing one with the arts professionals. Some dignitaries will be coming, too, including the culture minister. I’d prefer if you looked the part of working for the Vice President, Ms. Cho. You represent me in that way.”
“I… uh, okay,” you sigh, knowing you don’t seem to be in a position to turn him down.
“Great. Start thinking of designs, then!” Taehyung beams.
It’s some minutes later when Jungkook’s measurements have been taken and Taehyung calls for you. You sit on the chair facing his desk not far away while Jungkook and Seokjin talk about sports and this new club that opened in Gangnam.
Seated in front of you, Taehyung takes his sketch pad and starts asking what design you want.
“Something simple and comfortable since I’ll be moving around,” you say softly. “And nothing form-fitting or revealing since, uh…”
“I understand,” Taehyung smiles, revealing a gentle side of him that the paparazzi and tabloids clearly don’t capture.
He starts drawing your silhouette, glancing at you then at Jungkook before speaking.
“So, he’s been in this role for a few weeks now. Has he been nice?”
“Define ‘nice,’” you respond, earning you a chuckle.
“I guess that’s my answer, then.”
“I don’t mean to say he isn’t,” you backtrack. “Mr. Jeon just has a different leadership style as Mr. Jung’s, that’s all.”
“I suppose that’s quite a difficult adjustment for you, huh?”
You purse your lips and Taehyung laughs, the soft way he does it is something new and refreshing to you. You didn’t realize how deprived you are of such gentleness, of such acts or sights as simple as a smile. Hoseok is no longer your source. Your team hasn’t been as jolly these past weeks. The only other person you talk to regularly at work is Yoongi, and while he’s definitely been smiling more, it’s a lot more teasing than it is comforting. You’ve been missing your best friends more because of that, you think - Soomin’s smile is blinding, Jimin’s is sweet and infectious. Perhaps it’s why you haven’t been smiling much yourself.
“I won’t tell, don’t worry,” Taehyung assures you. “I just wanted to check on him. This whole move has been tough but he doesn’t say much. I’m guessing he doesn’t tell you, either, but he’ll definitely show it.”
“He has, actually,” you say softly, knowing now that even with his closest friends, Jungkook tends to keep things to himself. “He’s pretty stressed most days, always working and stuff. He’s been a little hard on me but I guess that’s a natural reaction for some.”
“That’s not an excuse though.”
“It isn’t, but… it’s okay. I can handle it.”
It’s not as much of a lie anymore as it used to be. Jungkook hasn’t been overly critical about things as he was just last week. He rarely makes comments on your minutes now, doesn’t correct the reports you reviewed, doesn’t talk over you or doesn’t yell. There’s been a change, definitely, and you wonder what triggered it.
“He doesn’t really smile, does he?” You ask, your curiosity getting the better of you.
Taehyung’s laughter is one of disbelief and pure amusement, catching the attention of the other two men but he waves them off.
“He still does, just not as much,” he responds. “It kinda stopped after the breakup with Chaerin but I guess that’s what heartbreak does, right?”
“I… wouldn’t know. I’ve never experienced it,” you shrug.
“Lucky,” he hums. “I don’t wish it on anyone.”
You glance at Jungkook, briefly letting yourself imagine a version of him that’s a lot more carefree, relaxed, perhaps happy. Maybe it’s the loneliness and that you’d understand; that, you’ve experienced. It’s both liberating and isolating. You wonder if that’s how he’s been feeling all these years since then.
“I’m done,” Taehyung announces, showing you three designs that are exactly what you asked for.
“These look nice. And way out of my price range,” you laugh.
“Perks of having a rich boss,” he winks. “I don’t want you to worry about anything, okay? You’re my client and I want you to wear these with confidence. Now, if you’re okay with all this, I’ll get one of my female assistants to get your measurements.”
You nod in response. There’s absolutely nothing you would change about those designs. And if you’re being honest, you now can’t wait for those events just so you could wear them. Hoseok had obviously paid for the gowns you had to wear for the big events, but those were store-bought that A-yeong helped you choose. Some were your own purchases, but this is the first time that you’re getting measured for custom-made clothing designed by Kim Taehyung.
You walk towards the fitting room at the corner where one of his staff meets you. She’s meticulous, which is why it takes longer than usual just to get this done. With her silence, however, you’re able to hear the conversation happening outside, with the brothers now asking Jungkook about the same thing you’ve been wondering about.
“By the way, what was up with you last Monday?” Seokjin asks. “I thought that was gonna be night 4 of you going home with a new woman. But you passed out before you could even ask. And that was just 9PM.”
“Four nights isn’t much, though,” Taehyung laughs. “Didn’t he do that with seven women on seven straight nights when he was in Singapore? That was wild. Was it that stressful there? Or were there just so many to choose from?”
“Shut up. I’m not proud of that,” Jungkook groans. “And that was one time. It never happened again.”
“It never happened seven times straight again,” Seokjin corrects. “You were really living your life out there, huh? Stressful job, a rooftop bar in your apartment building, chauffeur and butler services 24/7, women from all over the world begging to sleep with you…”
“It’s called the post-break up stage,” Taehyung says.
“For six years?!” Seokjin asks incredulously. “It’s either you loved Chaerin that much, you blamed yourself too much, or you just really sucked at moving on.”
“I vote all of the above,” Taehyung states.
“Me, too,” Seokjin claims.
“Fuck you both,” Jungkook groans again.
“I think he also just missed us too much,” Seokjin adds. “Lucas was cleaning up your messes every time, not snapping you out of it. But we’re here now so I guess three straight nights is as far as you’ll go.”
“Two, if you stopped me last Sunday,” Jungkook points out. “You both always insisted that Sundays are a no-no. You were too busy with your own women.”
“May we remind you that you didn’t even make it to our table. You stepped foot in the bar then left five minutes later,” Taehyung says. “But really, what was it about Monday? You seemed angrier than usual.”
“Just… a bunch of things my father said,” Jungkook huffs.
“Did he tell you off again?”
“Not really, surprisingly. He just delivered a message basically, about what the board members were saying about me and my project. Bullshit stuff, you know? I just wanted to forget about it.”
“Did you?”
“Sorta,” Jungkook says. “I still don’t want to talk about it.”
“But it’s still happening, right?” Taehyung asks worriedly. “The Arts Center, I mean. You’ve been wanting to work on that since the building was abandoned five years ago.”
“I don’t know,” Jungkook responds. “I guess. We already put money into it. I’ll just have to make concessions if my father doesn’t side with me on this. I hate to think he’s buying into what those old folks are saying.”
“Ms. Cho, we’re all done,” the staff member tells you, muffling the conversation outside that you couldn’t help but hear.
It felt quite intrusive, hearing how life was like for Jungkook in Singapore, but then again, his personal life seemed to be the topic in the office comfort rooms, and you don’t know how to feel about getting confirmation about those rumors. It felt sad more than anything though, living that kind of life away from friends and family. You wouldn’t know what moving on from a breakup feels like, but you suppose people grieve a lost love in their own ways; you can’t blame them for how they choose to repair the parts of them that broke.
But the bit about his conversation with his father is what bothers you. You’d hate to think that there’s a possibility that Jungkook’s plans won’t be fully realized, and whatever the reasons for that are, you hope they didn’t break his spirit too much. You know the plans now like the back of your hand and the more you learn, the more you believe in it. You hope Jungkook continues to believe in it, too.
You exit the fitting room, catching the end of a conversation where Seokjin suggests a wholesome weekend for the three men of just dinner and drinks. The two other men agree, and they all turn to you once you make your presence felt.
“All good?” Taehyung asks you.
“Yes,” you bow in thanks.
“Great. The gowns will be ready at the same time as Jungkook’s suits will be. I’ll just let you guys know, okay?
“Sure,” Jungkook says. “But anyway, we have to get back to work. Thanks again.”
The brothers bid you and Jungkook goodbye, and you head back to the office with not much words said. Jungkook seems less frustrated, but the worry you feel suddenly returns. It’s the thought that maybe he doesn’t feel supported, that maybe what he’s doing isn’t enough, and that more than that, it's him choosing to deal with all this on his own, not even looking to his friends to comfort him.
Jimin and Soomin meet you for lunch at a restaurant that Saturday afternoon. The drive from Busan took longer than expected, they said, but you say you don’t mind. They’re visiting you like they always do every month, regardless of how busy they are back in their hometown, which was your home for a few years, too.
You were in the same class; your mom worked at the school, which was the only reason why you were able to attend a prestigious one in the first place. Even when you moved back to Daegu, you remained in touch with them. Despite the distance, none of you wanted to just let the friendship fade, and even when they had to stay back and you made a life out here in Seoul, they made sure to visit you as much as they could.
They’re why you were excited for the weekend to come and now, you’ll be enjoying a hearty meal, getting your nails done after, lounging at your apartment, and then heading to a club for a night out, which you only do whenever they’re around.
“So, has the boss situation improved?” Soomin asks, her eyes soft and laced with worry “Or should I storm the jerk’s house and give him a piece of my mind?”
“It has,” you chuckle. “So no need to call him names or fight anyone. I’m okay.”
“Well, you did call him a grumpy old grinch with nice hair the other week,” Jimin points out. “So… did he get a haircut?”
“No,” you laugh again. “And that was in the heat of the moment. I… I mean, he’s still grumpy but he’s not… as grumpy or unbearable. He’s been—”
“Oh hun, please don’t say he’s been kind and then give him a pass for how he’s been to you,” Soomin reprimands. “Mean people don’t just become nice all of a sudden. And if they do, that’s a controlling tactic - they want you to think they’re capable of change so you’ll soften up to them and then give them a pass every time they do asshole-y things again.”
“You watch too many shows,” you frown, although knowing her statement isn’t wrong; it’s just not something you can relate with Jungkook.
Sure, he hasn’t been the nicest, but he also hasn’t been the meanest. He’s just been… him, you suppose - a bit in the middle; frustrated at worst, quiet at best, stoic on most days. He does seem to live in his head a lot, and while you won’t go so far as characterizing him as kind, he definitely hasn’t been insufferable these past few days.
“I’ve just dealt with too many assholes, ___,” Soomin corrects. “They’re all the same. Men are shit.”
“Except for Jimin,” you correct.
“Except for Jimin,” she concurs.
“I accept the honor,” he bows. “But seriously, ___. How has it been? You… you seemed really sad last week and I would’ve driven here then if we didn’t have that work emergency.”
“I’m okay, I mean it. I’ve experienced worse,” you try to assure them.
“You do know that having experienced something worse doesn’t mean it’s fine for you to experience something bad again, right?” Soomin points out.
“I know, but it also means that I know my threshold for bad behavior,” you say. “Jungkook was in a lot of stress and I did mess up. But I think he’s making up for that.”
“By apologizing, you mean?” Soomin cocks an eyebrow.
Your sigh tells her that’s definitely not what Jungkook has done.
“Well, he approves my minutes and reviewed reports much quicker,” you reason. “And he doesn’t comment as much. But actually, I think he just pities me. And that’s worse.”
“Why would he pity you?” She asks.
“I don’t know. Maybe because I said that a tree fell on our roof and that mom got injured the weekend before my mishap,” you explain. “And then he found out how early I start my day just so I can get to him on time. He’s made adjustments after those and I… I think he’s guilty or something. And he’s just not being his usual angry self around me to make it up to me.”
“So in short, he’s still kind of an asshole,” Soomin says, prompting Jimin to snort and you to pout. “He could always just apologize if he’s guilty and realized he should treat you better.”
“Some things aren’t easy for other people to say, you know?” You say softly.
“That’s not an excuse,” she points out.
“It’s an explanation,” you counter. “Or one of them, I guess. I don’t know him well enough, but it’s better to think that he’s a decent person who just struggles with emotions than someone who willingly makes people’s lives difficult. I mean, that’s easier to manage and accept.”
“If that helps you deal and he’s indeed improving, then maybe I won’t have to storm his place then,” she smiles, taking your hand and kissing it as she likes to do.
She knows your habit of pressing your nails onto your skin, and she always said she likes to remind you that you deserve gentleness, too; she’ll give it if you can’t give it to yourself.
The rest of the afternoon goes as you planned, with all the banter you’d expect from your best friends amid the pampering and then the chick flick in the background as you get ready in your tiny apartment.
You smile at your reflection in the mirror. The high-waist trousers and sleeveless top ensemble is a refreshing sight for you, as you only really dress up like this for a night out. You’re in your usual pencil skirts and blouses otherwise, and in jeans and tops or oversized jumpers on a normal day.
Soomin’s done your makeup and Jimin compliments you as he looks on, and soon enough, they’re ready as well to head out.
“Where’re we going?” You ask from the passenger seat as Jimin navigates the busy streets of Seoul on a Saturday night.
“Some new restaurant the guys discovered,” Soomin responds. “I think it’s not far from here.”
“Okay, good. Hajoon’s been texting, asking what time we’ll get there,” you tell them.
“Geez, you were already with him last night. Tell him to be patient,” Jimin rolls his eyes.
Soomin laughs from the backseat as she teases that he’s just being jealous, to which he points out that he just hasn’t seen you in a while so the man can wait. And you assure Jimin that you’d gladly skip a night with Hajoon to be with your best friends, no questions asked.
You get there eventually, and you immediately spot the group because of the laughter coming from their table. There are four men; the two women are Soomin’s friends, which is how you got involved with Hajoon in the first place. You met some time last year and you’ve been hanging out with him since then - among other things - and you’ve been enjoying it, given the simplicity and lack of drama when he’s not being moody. He’s a warm body who knows how to use it and you’re a good type of relief, as he’d said; there’s really not much more you need as you just try to survive through life and make something out of yourself in however way you can.
Hajoon waves at you from his seat, gesturing to his left to say he’s saved that spot for you. You head there after greeting your other friends, with Jimin and Soomin following you.
Right as you sit down and greet the man next to you, you’re caught by surprise when he kisses your cheek and snakes his arm around your waist.
“Hey, I missed you today,” Hajoon hums, smiling at you the way he did last night and this morning; it definitely wasn’t this sweet when he left for a work trip last month.
“I… saw you today,” you frown, earning you a chuckle.
“I know; I was still thinking about you, though,” he says.
You give a smile - as genuine as you can make it - and then turn towards your friends to your left who are trying to hold in their laughter.
You order a beer after he offers you a glass of wine, and then go for the pork belly when he says the salmon here is good.
“Just craving for meat, that’s all,” you tell him.
“Is there anything else you want? Just let me know, okay?”
You hum your yes and then turn back to your friends after Hajoon makes jokes with his.
“Since when was he this sweet to you?” Soomin whispers with wide, curious eyes.
“Since never,” you reply. “I mean, we’ve never been affectionate outside of bed…”
“Is anything else different?” Jimin wonders, careful not to bring attention to your conversation.
You look back at how things were before Hajoon left and how it was when he was away. Nothing seemed different. You hung out at his place before he flew out, then you messaged each other every now and then during the one month he was abroad. He was more interested to talk, but given the time difference and the pressure and stress you’ve been under the past weeks, you didn’t bother much, neither did he.
But you also think back to last night - how he picked you up from your apartment, which he’s never done before, and how he prepared a luxurious dinner. He made you breakfast this morning, too, whereas you both usually just sleep in in tangled limbs and then separate once you wake up.
“He cooked me fancy stuff but I just thought he wanted to show off what he learned during his cooking masterclass,” you shrug. “And well… he seemed sweeter than normal.”
“Maybe he hooked up with someone while he was away and he’s guilty about it,” Jimin suggests.
“He didn’t say anything about it and he knows I wouldn’t mind,” you say. “We’re not exclusive, even if I don’t hang out with other guys.”
“Maybe he’s over the fucking and wants to do the loving bit now,” Soomin offers. “I mean, he always seemed more into you than you were into him.”
“He’s hot and decent when he’s in a good mood; that’s all I need,” you admit.
“But honestly, that’s probably it,” Soomin continues. “I think he’s hinting that he wants to be more.”
“But I don’t want to,” you whine. “I’m not ready.”
“You’re 30! When are you ever gonna be ready?” Soomin whisper-yells.
“Never!” You pout now. “I mean… Not with him.”
“Well, you’re gonna have to tell him soon, then,” Jimin sighs. “Before it gets messy. And you hate messy.”
“What if men just don’t have feelings?” Soomin wonders out loud. “That way, you can’t hurt them.”
“So that way, they can hurt you?” Jimin points out. “No. I’m not letting any men hurt either one of you, okay? I love you both too much.”
“We know,” you and Soomin say at the same time.
“But I agree with Jimin, ___. You’re gonna have to let that man next to you, who’s thankfully deaf, go. And then just find another person who can give you what you need,” Soomin continues. “Like, uh…”
She looks around the semi-packed restaurant to find some random man to just point to, her eyes widening in awe as she spots a table close by with the type of men she was just thinking about.
“Like them.”
You laugh at her, not taking her seriously, but still, you look towards the direction of her cocked head, only to feel your throat dry up and your heartbeat speed up. Your eyes widen in reflex as they meet the piercing gaze of the man who’d given you a headache for weeks. He also happens to look unfairly handsome in his white top and slicked back hair.
“Shit, I would totally go for them,” Soomin adds, “and I only even like men a quarter of the time.”
Your best friends look at you as they wait for a response, only to see a nervous look on your face, as if you’re seeing a ghost or something, and the way you turn to them and stutter almost seems like you are.
From the other table, Jungkook pants quietly. You finally looked his way, and he didn’t know what to expect your reaction to be - maybe a bit of shock, but definitely not this worried. Granted, you’re out with your friends at a restaurant that he and his friends frequent. It’s not the type of place they’d normally go for - this is a lot simpler, less private, and more accommodating than the exclusive restaurants and hotels they go to for dinners before heading to a club. But Jungkook loves their pork belly; he orders it every week, and tonight, he was craving for this specifically before going to a private party of one of Taehyung’s clients.
Jungkook had seen you when you sat down, and he’d been taken aback when the guy to your right immediately kissed your cheek; it seems he’s barely let go of your waist since then, too. Perhaps the man is your boyfriend - and Jungkook doesn’t know what made him think you wouldn’t have one - but it also seems that the one to your left is into you, too, at least based on how he smiles at you sweetly but rolls his eyes at the affectionate guy to your other side.
But other than the embarrassing obvious affection that both of them are directing at you, what made him lose his senses is how you look, and you’re even more beautiful than he imagined. Your hair is styled, your makeup is bolder than usual, and he won’t even start with how you’re dressed. It’s a lot more skin than he’s used to - you’re out, after all, and if he’ll go by what your companions are wearing, he supposes this is your stop before heading to some club to party, too. Whereas when you’re at work, you have the skirt and long-sleeved blouse ensemble that you wear everyday - still pretty, perhaps just a lot more reserved than what he’s seeing now.
He can’t take his eyes off you, even as you entertain your suppose-boyfriend, even when you engage in hushed conversation with the man and woman to your left, and even when you stare back at him, the initial shock now wearing down to a look of curiosity. Perhaps you’re wondering why he keeps glancing at you, too.
“I told you he’s got it bad,” Taehyung laughs from the other side of the table.
He’s noticed how his friend hasn’t said much in the last 10 minutes, his gaze directed at the loud table close by. One glance and Taehyung knew why.
“Well, we told him,” Seokjin corrects. “He only ever acts out when he’s threatened and he’s apparently threatened by his pretty assistant.”
“I’m not acting out,” Jungkook scowls, finally breaking the staring contest with you.
“You’ve never been this much of a jerk,” Seokjin says. “So yes, you’re acting out.”
Jungkook ignores them, his eyes turning back to you, and finds you downing two shots of tequila consecutively, then using the beer as your chaser. His knuckles unconsciously clench when your suppose-boyfriend scoots closer, whispering something in your ear, his lips grazing your skin.
Jungkook exhales deeply, trying to get a grip of himself. He’s acting foolishly. You obviously have a life outside of work, and it obviously includes going out for dinner and drinks with friends, having a boyfriend, and enjoying your youth the way he is. There’s a world outside of the routine you’ve both created, of the silence you both share, and the time you spend together, unknowingly learning about each other without meaning to, without wanting to.
“___,” Soomin calls your name one more time.
“Huh?” You answer, finally tearing your eyes away from Jungkook, who’d unfortunately captured your attention after you noticed he was there.
You’ve been used to his impeccable looks in his fancy suits; you’ve even gotten used to his tank top and sweatpants post-workout outfits every morning, and while you’re still not immune to that look, his night out wear fit for a party leaves you more choked up than normal.
Maybe it’s the black jeans that you spot as he sits on the edge of the couch, or the white button-up top with the rolled sleeves up to his elbow, or his haircut that makes him look a little more mature. Maybe it’s all that and the way he’s gazing at you, the look in his eyes something you can’t quite read. Perhaps like you, he’s surprised to see you here the way you’re shocked that he’d chosen this place to eat; it’s not exactly a fancy restaurant you know he likes eating at.
But he’s here, and so are you, and suddenly you feel exposed, as if the world outside of work that you’ve kept to yourself is baring open to the man who stands at the center of what you do everyday. And you’re not sure how you feel about that.
“I was just saying… those men are pretty hot and they look interested, too,” Soomin wiggles her eyebrows. “ I mean, they keep looking here.”
“One of them is my boss,” you finally say. “Guy on the right. That’s… uh, that’s Jungkook.”
“Holy fuck, hun,” Soomin chokes on her drink. “Why did you leave out the part about your rude boss being a fucking god?”
“Does it matter?” Jimin scowls. “He’s still rude.”
“It’s different when the guy’s hot. It makes the anger more intense, you know?” Soomin says. “Attractive people elicit more passionate feelings sometimes.”
“Excuse me, that’s not why I was angry,” you pout. “He was really being unfair.”
“Well, he was. But I think my point also applies,” Soomin argues. “I’d just like to warn you that workplace hotties are a menace. Except for Yoongi - he was heaven sent. ”
“Ah, the man who could’ve been,” Jimin sighs. “We at least knew he wouldn’t hurt you. He didn’t seem like the type.”
“Yeah, this dude over here is hot but he’s mean. And that’s your type,” Soomin smirks.
“Can we… not talk about this while he’s there? And while this other dude is right next to me?” You glare at your friends, especially at Soomin whose insinuation wasn’t lost on you. “It’s so… weird.”
“Hey, we’re here for you, okay?” Jimin softens as he looks at you. “Just let us know if one of them makes you feel uncomfortable. We can always just stay at your place and watch horror movies until morning and you and Soomin can lose your voices from screaming and then I’ll lose my hearing because of it.”
His words make you laugh. There’s a tenderness in Jimin that you’ve never heard from anyone else before. Even when he’s telling you to stop yelling because you live for the thrill of a jumpscare, he says it so tenderly while laughing before pulling you both in his embrace.
“I’m okay. I’m just… I don’t know, probably just not used to seeing him somewhere that isn’t the office or his home,” you reason. “And I feel a bit exposed, I guess. This is my world and his is… right there.”
You wrap your arms around your body subconsciously, realizing only you’d done it when Jimin asks if you’re cold, offering his jacket then taking it back because Hajoon might smack him or something.
You turn it down, knowing you actually feel hot more than anything. You’re dressed up and definitely dressed in less, and somehow having Jungkook see you like this is oddly making you shy, perhaps a little too conscious.
“Just don’t mind him,” Soomin advises. “It’s a restaurant. You obviously have a social life and he can’t fault you for it, nor make you feel weird about it. Just focus on us, okay? Or on Hajoon, if that’ll happen.”
You follow her words and try to block out Jungkook. You do slightly nod at him, as well as at Taehyung and Seokjin just to acknowledge their presence, but you continue on with your meal, as the dishes arrive soon after.
The pork belly is a winner; you’ll probably come back here for that alone. You do manage to dodge Hajoon’s attempts at feeding you, and your other friends engage with the three of you at the other end of the table. It’s going well for the most part, until Hajoon starts to act a little wary, a little tense.
“Hey,” he says, leaning close to you. “The guy on the other table has been looking at you all night. It’s kinda annoying.”
You glance at Jungkook’s table and he looks away when you do. “Oh, just don’t mind him,” you wave Hajoon off. “Maybe I remind him of someone or something.”
There’s a beat of silence, and you feel him tense even more, as you look up and see that he’s staring down the man on the other side. Hajoon’s had a bit to drink, and you know he tends to be cocky and irrational when he is. You groan once he shakes his head, saying he’s gonna give “that stranger” a piece of his mind because “he can’t be looking at my girl like that.”
The initial annoyance you feel turns into panic once he stands from his seat and storms to the other table. You follow him, with your friends just looking in worry. His friends are more encouraging of what he wants to do though.
“What the fuck is your problem staring at my girl like that?” Hajoon mumbles, acting all tough when he’s never threatened nor confronted anyone like this, even when he’s drunk.
Jungkook seems taken aback. Perhaps it’s the aggression he didn’t expect, or maybe it’s finally having to acknowledge your presence in the restaurant, just in an unfortunate way.
“Your girl?” He scoffs.
The way the man is speaking to him is quite annoying, but he also knows your boyfriend is slightly drunk, so he dismisses him because Jungkook doesn’t need this drama tonight, especially not in front of you.
Hajoon hates the way this stranger is looking at him and not taking him seriously. He’d seen how he kept glancing at you, perhaps trying to get your attention away from him, and he’s really had enough. His words are slurring but this is the courage he needs to stand up for you. You’ve said before how unwanted attention makes you uncomfortable, and he’s gonna do something about it before the man gets to try anything with you.
“Yeah, my girl. You seem to have a problem with that, don’t you?” Hajoon grunts.
“My only problem is you making a scene right now,” Jungkook shakes his head. “You’re drunk and insecure and you’re embarrassing yourself in front of your girl.”
Not that you expected him to back off, but you didn’t actually think that Jungkook would further press Hajoon’s buttons. The man is drunk and insecure and indeed embarrassing, but getting told so is a blow to the ego, especially in your presence. And so you’re not surprised that this just makes him angrier, and since you’ve never dealt with this version of him before, you don’t know how to pacify him.
You didn’t actually think that Hajoon had a daring bone in his body despite being the way he is, but when he attempts to lunge at Jungkook, you’re left in disbelief. You’re quick enough to pull Hajoon back before he lands a fist on the other man’s face, but he’d been worked up enough that he hits the glass of wine on the table, knocking it over and causing the drink to spill on Jungkook’s thin white top.
“Mr. Jeon!” You shriek, pulling Hajoon back more forcefully before pushing him to the side so you can get ahead.
You take the napkin from the table and wipe Jungkook’s wet clothed torso, slowing down immediately as you realize what exactly it is you’re doing.
“I… uh,” you stutter, standing straight up and mirroring his questioning eyes.
It was a reflex for you, considering that you constantly make sure that he’s dressed impeccably.
“You know him?!” Hajoon asks in disbelief, tugging on your hand now so you’ll turn to him.
“He’s my boss, you idiot!” smacking him on the chest as you glare at him. “And you just put my job in jeopardy and for what?”
“Well, what can he do?” Hajoon challenges. “Get you fired because of me? Does he own the company and shit?”
“My father does,” Jungkook responds. “And I’m the Vice President.”
Hajoon just rolls his eyes but you aren’t amused. You glance at your table and gesture for one of his friends to take him, so one of them does. He stands up and pulls Hajoon away before he can do or say anything else.
“I’m so, so sorry, Mr. Jeon,” you say, your head bowed down as you apologize. “I…”
The mess on his outfit is too much; the red has stained the white top and you know he feels sticky. He looks like he has somewhere to go after this and that makes it worse.
“I– I can call Mr. Ri to get the car in here. I can get extra clothes from your travel bag,” you say, knowing that Jungkook always has a bag filled with clothes for emergency flights or check-ins.
You get your phone and make a call, telling Jungkook that his chauffeur will be here soon. You glance towards your friends who are still pacifying a drunk Hajoon, and you decide that they can handle all that. Right now, your priority is Jungkook.
You walk out towards the car that’s on hazard mode outside the restaurant and pick out the top that’s most appropriate for a night out, which happens to be a semi-loose black button-up. You head back inside, with Taehyung and Seokjin informing you that Jungkook has gone to the washroom, so you scurry towards there and knock at the door.
“Mr. Jeon, I have your black long sleeves here,” you say as your knuckles tap on the wood. “Just tell me–”
You’re interrupted by the sudden opening of the door, the sight of Jungkook in his jeans hanging by his waist and his unbuttoned white top catching you by surprise. His hair’s a bit damp and so is his bare torso, as you see that he’s tried to clean the wine off his body.
You catch yourself looking longer than you should, and you immediately look away as you hand him over what he needs.
“Please let me know what else you need, sir,” you say, your eyes glued to the pretty wallpaper as you awkwardly stand outside the washroom.
“Jungkook,” he says, earning him a curious look. “I mean, you don’t need to be formal. We’re not at work.”
You nod, realizing it does sound weird to address him as such in a casual setting.
“Okay… Jungkook,” you mumble, but even the way it rolls off your tongue is a bit odd. You’re not used to it, and you hope you won’t ever be.
He closes the door and you take this time to calm yourself down. You’ve been so worried since you saw the glass tip over and mess up his outfit, and given his hot-headedness, you’re a little surprised that he didn’t fight back. He does have a reputation to uphold but even then, stopping himself from punching Hajoon must’ve taken a lot.
The door opens and you sigh in relief; his outfit still looks good and he’s fully clothed, so there’s no lingering looks this time anymore. You take the top that he gives you, and you take the chance to apologize.
“I’m so sorry,” you start. “I don’t know why he— I mean, he’s a bit drunk and he’s not usually like this.”
“You’re not the one who should apologize so don’t,” he responds.
“Well, he won’t apologize so I will.”
“You didn’t spill the drink and you didn’t come at me. That was him,” he counters.
You just shrug, choosing to just concede. “I’ll just return this to Mr. Ri.”
He calls your name before you turn around to leave.
“I didn’t mean to cause a rift between you and your boyfriend,” he says, much too low and too gentle than you’re used to. “I hope I didn’t ruin anything.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” you answer softly. “We just, uh, we just hang out.”
You don’t know why you feel the need to correct this misinformation. Maybe you just want to remind yourself because you’re not anyone’s anything; hearing Hajoon claim you as yours made you want to just create that distance even more.
Jungkook wants to push it, to ask more. The man clearly acts like he’s your lover, given the physical affection and the way he tried to stand up for you. But there’s a bit of shame as you state that you and the man “just hang out,” and there’s that wonder he feels - how can you be with someone without being with them, and if turning away people who are clearly into you is a tendency you have. There’s Min Yoongi, after all, who’d liked you enough to remain as your friend when you needed one despite how he felt.
“Okay then,” Jungkook nods. “And your job’s not in jeopardy. Don’t take responsibility for a stupid act you didn’t do.”
You bow in thanks, not much used to this side of him that’s understanding and even calm. You suppose he’d seen you worry about your job, had seen you look embarrassed over something that you didn’t even do, and perhaps he saw the discomfort over how Hajoon was talking about you.
You’re about to walk out of the hallway when his call of your name stops you again, prompting you to turn around.
“About earlier… did I… did I make you feel uncomfortable?” He asks, the worry in his voice surprising you.
You debate over playing it down or telling the truth, but you go with the latter.
“A… a little,” you admit, looking away.
You hear him sigh, and there’s a look of guilt in his eyes as you turn to him.
“I’m so—”
The footsteps of another diner in the hallway disrupts him, and you both make way so he can use the washroom, too. Perhaps you and Jungkook had taken so long, and you don’t want others to conspire about what’s happening, so you walk out and tell him again that you’ll just return his clothing to Mr. Ri.
From your table, Soomin and Jimin watch the awkwardness of your parting of ways, with you scurrying out the door and Jungkook returning to his seat with a deep sigh before glaring at Hajoon.
“He does sound and look like an asshole, aside from being hot,” Soomin observes. “That’s totally ___’s type.”
“Are you saying she likes her boss?” Jimin asks incredulously.
“I’m just saying that’s her type, not that she likes him,” Soomin corrects. “There’s a difference. I still hate him for making things hard for her. I wish he would stop treating her like that. You and I know she won’t quit anytime soon. Especially because he’s a Jeon.”
“I know,” Jimin sighs. “I wish we could protect her from all this, too. But she’s always done what she wanted to do. And we wait for her to tell us when things are hard; we just hold her hand whenever it is.”
“That’s all we can do, I guess,” Soomin responds. “Sometimes though I wish she’d just… let someone else do more than just hold her hand, you know? It could’ve been Yoongi, or even Hajoon before all this mess. It could’ve been you.”
“You know that’ll never happen,” Jimin laughs bitterly, with Soomin knowing exactly what he means. “You’re only ever just her friend or her lover; you can’t be both.”
Soomin hums in agreement, as she’d seen you draw the line with the men you’d come across with. You’d make it clear if friendship is all you want; you’d be straightforward if it’s just sex you’re seeking. You give either just your heart or your body and you’re always careful not to give both. There are parts of you that you don’t want to share, that you don’t want to expose to them; there’s a kind of hurt that you don’t want to experience.
They watch you walk back inside and then head to their table, where you sit next to a buzzed Hajoon who still has half a mind to look at you guiltily.
“I think I’ll head back home after this,” you tell the group. “Kinda not in a partying mood anymore.”
Your other friends apologize on Hajoon’s behalf, proceeding to ask you if that was really your boss and if he’d threatened your job because of it, remarking that it would be such an asshole move of him to do that or to even get mad at you for something you didn’t do.
You come to Jungkook’s defense; he didn’t say anything to that effect at all. Perhaps you’d been the unfair one who assumed that he would - that he’d demand that you apologize, that he’d use this against you.
“He’s… not like that,” you say, meaning it. You turn to your best friends who have disagreeing looks. “He… he tried to apologize for making me feel uncomfortable,” you say softly. “No one’s ever done that before.”
“Look, ___,” Hajoon starts, but you cut him off.
“I don’t really wanna talk about it,” you sigh. “I’ll just pay my bill and head out.”
You, Soomin, and Jimin all pay accordingly and then leave the restaurant, with you turning to Jungkook and his friends, bowing as a form of goodbye.
“Hey, why don’t we buy desserts at a convenience store and have our own party at your place?” Jimin suggests as you all settle in his car.
“That would be nice,” you hum. “This outfit wouldn’t be such a waste then.”
So that’s what you do, as your best friends treat you to all the snacks you love - a usual occurrence, really, as they used to do that back in Busan to cheer you up during the days when you were feeling sad. It’s one of the things that you allow them to spoil you with and they take advantage of that, as you go home with weeks’ worth of goods for you to enjoy.
You also picked up some drinks on the way, so you play some music and dance around with your wine glasses and take shots in between. It’s too early to be drunk but 11PM might as well be 3AM. You’re all seated snugly in your tiny couch as you watch some variety show on mute, laughing at the hosts' antics even if you can’t hear anything.
“Tonight wasn’t so bad,” you huff, leaning on Soomin’s shoulder as you doze off. “Both of you are all I need. Thank you for never disappointing me.”
They know you don’t always let yourself be this sentimental. They also know that when you do, all you want is for them to listen and to hold you. And that’s what they do, as you eventually clean up and fall asleep on the mattress with them, the events from earlier slowly fading away.
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summary: in which nightmares are made of terrors but jungkook is an evening star.
> fluff, hurt/comfort, suggestive / wc: 2.7k
> warnings: mentions of getting choked in nightmares (oc’s was a very real dream of mine lmao), making out, hickeys but jk calls them love bites, he gets hard, and he’s so real this set of warnings i question my brain sometimes
note: new anime entry for the in which couple :P is this the third one i’ve mentioned.? also i will be in 221013 jungkook brainrot forever i’m sorry and thank you.
and ig this also references the first kiss drabble so u can read that after if u want ^^
—
you gasp—which sounds more like a broken hiccup—as you’re abruptly awoken by the petrifying images of your dream. your left foot kicks under the blanket, and your heart is beating so hard inside your ribcage, you’re afraid it will jump out of your chest.
jungkook makes a startled noise, and a grunt follows soon after when the tablet he’s holding falls and knocks on the top of his knees. however, his pain is pushed to the back of his head once he registers your horror-stricken eyes glossy with unshed tears. his tablet and eyeglasses are left abandoned on the foot of the bed as he rushes to take care of his lover.
“jungkook-” you whimper, roughly fisting at the sides of his long-sleeved pajama top. his hand cradling your face slips away, and he softly crashes on top of you.
“oh, baby,” he says breathily, hooking an arm over your waist to roll the both of you over to the side. he worries about your arm stuck under his waist, but that seem to be the last thing on your mind as you desperately seek the feeling of safety in your boyfriend’s embrace.
“love, it was so creepy. i feel like i did something very bad.” your voice is slightly muffled against his chest, weak and scratchy from sleep.
jungkook’s heart drops to his stomach, finding it unbearable when you’re suffering. he caresses the back of your head softly. “you want to talk about it?”
you take a moment to calm your raging heart, and he waits patiently. he almost sighs in relief when you slowly peel yourself away from him and pull out your arm, always conscious about hurting you.
you meet his eyes with hesitation swimming in yours. he half-smiles, figure glowing from the warm light of the nightlamp behind him— like an angel. exactly the sweet creature you needed to wake up to, after experiencing a nightmare that got you thinking: if hell is real, you’re definitely going to hell.
“i was sleeping in my childhood room. back at home…” you trail off, and he looks at you encouragingly, carefully holding your cold and clammy hand in his. “all the lights at home was off, so it was pitch black. then i woke up when i-”
you pause as you rethink the words that are about to come out of your mouth. it’s going to sound so ridiculous and it makes no absolute sense, and you don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“jesus. he was choking me. to death.” you breath out shakily, burying your face in your hands because for some reason you feel so fucking embarrassed uttering them. “a vehicle passed by and the light went through to window and his face- i saw it. he was like- like a life-sized statue? the texture of it. i remember so clearly. so his face was just nonchalant. i don’t… know why i would dream of this. i didn’t even see him or think about him. i don’t know, jungkook.”
you drop your hands, meeting jungkook’s eyes with a gloomy frown etched on your lips. “it’s so stupid.”
his eyebrows are knitted, bothered by you experiencing such a disturbing dream. he can’t give it meaning because it’s not like he knows everything going on inside your head, but he’s concerned if you’re going through something bad. is it stress? burnout? or something else he doesn’t know about?
“no it’s not, baby. don’t think that way. just hearing you talk about it, i would’ve been so scared, too.” he scoots closer, pressing a kiss on your forehead. you instantly melt, along with your fear and anxiety. your scrambled mess of a brain ceases its attack on itself, and your tense muscles let go. at last, you can breathe again.
his hand resting on your neck. his soft lips on your forehead. the smell of honey watermelon lipbalm, and you’re pretty sure he used yours again. needless to say, jungkook is the person you trust most in the world. whichever alternate reality you get transported to in your dreams, you’ll always come back to where home is. here, on this bed, beside the love of your life.
“no one’s going to hurt you here, okay? and you’ll never sleep alone anymore. you have me. i will protect you from anything.”
you nod in response, connecting your lips with his for an appreciative kiss. but he chases you before you can fall back down, not allowing you to slip away further from him. the kiss he initiates lasts longer, passionate, almost as if he hasn’t kissed you in days and he wants to take his time and drown in your taste.
for completely different reasons, you’re breathless again. “what was that for?”
he grins playfully, a wavy strand of hair falling over his eye like it’s right where it belongs. what a magnificent man. “so you forget your nightmare and only think about me.”
your gaze shamelessly falls on his cherry red lips. “i still remember. think i need more of it.”
“shit,” he mutters under his breath, not expecting you to respond to his silly flirtations after almost crying from a bad dream. not one to deny, he gives you more.
truth be told, it feels good to know you’re addicted to his kisses just as he is with yours.
—
“are you seriously drawing dimple?” you giggle, watching jungkook draw a face in the middle of a wispy cloud. you’re sitting on his lap, feet dangling off the edge of the bed as you brush his fluffy hair to get rid of the tangles you caused from earlier’s makeout session.
trust, you’re trying your damn hardest to hold yourself back from bringing the new star-shaped clips you bought last week.
dimple is a character from the anime ‘mob psycho 100’. an evil spirit floating around as a green cloud, his most distinguishable feature being the red circles on his cheeks. he grows arms sometimes, but you’re not sure yet if your boyfriend’s going to add them.
season three started this month, so you and jungkook decided to rewatch the first two seasons before catching up to it. in doing so, he found himself more amused with dimple than he was the first time he watched them. you swear, the man bursts into laughter even when dimple is just… there. floating. and doing nothing. you don’t even make him that happy.
is it because of the purple lips?
“he’s so cute,” he chortles as he draws a perfect circle on each of his cheek using the digital pen, automatically filling them in with the color red.
you grimace. “now that’s just pushing it too far. he literally looks like fart.”
“holy shit, he does!” his eyeglasses slips down his nosebridge as he vibrates with glee, and you take it upon yourself to fix it before it falls off.
“told you,” you say cockily, brushing the left side of his hair one last time before deeming your task finished. you toss the hairbrush back on the nightstand before cozying up with jungkook to watch him complete his drawing.
he takes his time experimenting with different shades of green, taking shadows into consideration, as well as the faint glow dimple radiates as a spirit. unsurprisingly, he goes into his ultra-focused artist mode, quiet as the wind as you can only hear his breathing and the airconditioner’s humming. although you try to fight it because you’re scared of a possible part two of your nightmare, they’re slowly lulling you back to sleep.
you search for the time on top of jungkook’s screen: 3:49am. “why were you up anyway? you fell asleep before me.” you ask curiously, sipping water from the straw of your tumbler.
he passed out on the bed at ten, and you fell asleep two hours later after finishing a book halfway.
“oh, i woke up from a weird dream and i wasn’t sleepy anymore. i finished drawing mob while you were asleep.” he zooms out the page, and your jaw drops when you see that dimple is actually beside mob, already colored from head to toe.
“wow, you’re amazi-” you pause. “wait, what weird dream?”
“uhm, about that…” he looks at you with uncertainty, slightly regretting that he mentioned it. “i was physically fighting a monster? i’m not sure what it was. it was red and lanky, but strong. we were choking each other before i woke up.”
you woke up the same way? kind of?
you hand flies to your mouth, stifling a gasp. “why didn’t you tell me that earlier?”
“i didn’t want to spook you more, baby. you were shaken up.” he pouts, rubbing your back in an attempt to calm you down when he feels you tensing up again.
“what if our house is really haunted?” you whisper to him with beady eyes, as if you’re afraid the ghosts might be eavesdropping on your conversation.
“we’ve been living here for two years. they would’ve bothered us a long time ago, don’t you think?” he chuckles, warmth enveloping his heart as he marvels at your endearing cuteness. he wraps you in his arms to squeeze you.
“we’re fine, baby. don’t worry too much, hmm?” he hums, peppering your face with loving kisses. “we’re safe here. i promise.”
you heave a sigh. “you have a point. guess we’re just not having the best night.” you nuzzle your face on his neck, and your butt falls in the space between his thighs when he parts them to make you more comfortable. “i love you.”
“i love you more.”
“you’re so pretty.”
“oh?” he chuckles lightheartedly. “you’re not even looking at me.”
you peer up to him shyly. “i am now.”
he greets you with a smile, not showing his teeth, but his eyes twinkle. jungkook, you think, is an evening star, the fairest of all the stars. he has been there all along, but you just haven’t met him yet. and you’re not sure why or how he waltzed into your life at the perfect place, at the perfect time, but you’re done asking questions. you already have everything you could ever want and need.
sometimes you want to cry because your heart can no longer comprehend just how much more love it can possibly hold in itself. is there such thing as having too much love inside a person? you were never prepared for a love quite this enduring. everlasting. real. perhaps, you never dared to believe in it. these days, you dare not imagine a life without jungkook.
“thanks, baby. you’re prettier.” he smacks your thigh lightly before squeezing.
—
it feels like it’s been hours since you closed your eyes, but you still haven’t fallen asleep. you almost tripped over your own feet when you emptied your bladder because you were so desperate to go back to bed, and yet here you are, opening your eyes with a worn out sigh.
you’d scold jungkook for still being awake, sketching mob’s explosion this time around, but you’re in the same position as him now.
“still can’t sleep?” he spares you a glance, pushing his eyeglasses up the bridge of his nose. his face is only illuminated by the white light of the screen infront of him. the nightlamp was turned off when you gave up and announced that you were going back to sleep.
“yeah, it’s annoying.” you mutter as you abandon your side of the bed to climb on his lap again, and he’s more than happy to welcome you.
“why are we like this?” he questions in distress, rocking you and forth like a baby.
against your will, you remain unmoving in his arms. you want to observe him drawing, but you don’t want to be blinded by the brightness of the screen. you’re too tired to find your own eyeglasses, too. is there nothing else to do?!
and when he feels your lips teasing soft kisses along the expanse of his jaw down to his collarbone, he just knows.
“are you bored, baby?”
“hm, pretty much. may i? leave marks?”
he acts cool, tilting his head a little bit to the side to offer you more access to his neck. “go on.”
you gently kiss the mole on his neck before you dive in, having done this god know how many times to know how to suck just hard enough to leave a mark on his skin. he tries to give all of his attention to his work in progress, but it’s too damn difficult when you treat him so well. he ends up undoing another button of his top to make things easier for you.
his breath gets caught in his lungs when he feels the tips of your teeth purposely dig on his sensitive skin ever so tenderly. the intoxicating pain he has been anticipating shoots up tingles in his spine, and the lazy kisses and electrifying touches you soothe him with after finishing the first splash of color on his canvas only makes them worse.
your ass accidentally grinds against him, and he groans as his cock embarrassingly hardens up faster inside his pajamas. he pushes up his eyeglasses until it sweeps up the hair falling over his face and rests on top of his head, rubbing his eyes for no reason whatever. he just needed to do something.
you pull away with a click of your tongue. “behave,”
“fuck, you’re so hot.” he curses, putting the eyeglasses back on and picking up his pen.
you are a dangerous being when you suffer with boredom. he doesn’t even know when it began, but it’s almost as if he’s become wired to get excited once you say that you’re feeling bored. and it may seem like he’s just indulging you, but he’s always the one who enjoys it more when you entertain yourself. admittedly, he’s spoiled. but he’s just so weak when it comes to you.
which… brings him to this moment.
he scratches his head as he zooms in on the image he took with the flash turned on, inspecting the love bites you left on his neck. there’s even a stray one on the dip of his collarbone.
you lie beside him, watching his reactions in pure amusement. “i asked for permission. why didn’t you tell me? and why am i just finding out you call them love bites?”
“i told you that i forgot. it felt so good, okay? sue me!” he bites back with a roll of his eyes. “and i don’t know. i just like how love bites sounds.”
you can’t help but to laugh at his demise, covering your face with the blanket. warm tears gather at the corner of your eyes, either from laughter or drowsiness, maybe both.
you take a peek at him, lowering the blanket to reveal only your eyes. “can’t you just wear a turtleneck?”
“the concept of the photoshoot is summer.” he pops another button open, gesturing to himself. “this much skin will be exposed.”
“a summer shoot in october?!”
“you know how advanced our schedules are.”
he turns off the tablet, making the room completely dark again. he places it on the nightstand, followed by his eyeglasses. for the second time this week, he internally scolds himself for spending too much time staring at the screen.
before he can lie back down on the bed, you call out his name quietly.
“yes, my love?”
“can we turn on the lamp?”
his heart clenches at the sound of your voice. his poor baby. that dream really scared you.
“of course. i don’t mind.”
he flickers it on in dim light mode, and you blink your eyes to adjust to the new brightness. “thank you.”
he crawls under the blanket, choosing to rest his head on your arm. you instinctively envelope him in an embrace, cradling him to your chest.
ah, he can feel his headache gradually going away.
“go to sleep, babe. i still have that color corrector, so we can cover them up just fine. you can breathe.” you kiss his temple, gently running your fingers through hair smooth hair.
“oh my god, i completely forgot about those. foundation or concealer alone doesn’t work on this shit.”
all his senses flying out the window the moment you started kissing on his neck… he’s just truly just a man afterall.
you huff out a chuckle. “you are such an idiot. that’s supposed to be my line.”
—
taglist! @alanniys @jjkeverlast @queenofdragonsandcats @yvesismywife @enhypenslay @cramseys @witchfqllen @virgogentlejk @rkie @jeonwiixard @monilyv @bermudaisy @ameliejeannelaurent @takochelle @the1921-monsters @investedreader @seagulljk @yeow6n @yoonqkiss @hopeworldjimin @lllucere @unnatae @zqynmlk @bxbyyyjocelyn @zkdlllin @koostarcandy @tswisal1 @fragmentof-indifference @laylasbunbunny + send an ask / dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D
#jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook drabble#jungkook scenario#jungkook imagine#jungkook one shot#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#bts fluff#bts reaction#jungkook angst#jungkook smut
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Stress Relief/Calming Distraction/etc. Ideas for Regressors (based on my own experiences and things I've learned from others)
-- FIRST AND FOREMOST,
• Take some deep breaths. I know that's like listening to a broken record and obvs doesn't work for everyone, but it's worth a try!
• Drink some water and put some comfy clothes on and/or wrap your favorite blankie around yourself!
• Put on some soft lighting, if available. Especially if you're overstimulated!
• If you gotta/wanna bodily/vocally stim, DO IT!!! I also like to use stim toys and touch/hug soft things like a blanket, stuffie or pillow.
• If you have a pet, give 'em a cuddle or some pets! (a stuffie is also very comforting!) Or if you have one that can't/doesn't like to be handled/touched, you can just sit and watch them move around (feeding them if needed, can also be fun to watch!) (I love watching my fish swim around/eat sometimes 😹)
• If you're feeling anxious; dip your face in a bowl of cold/ice water, eat something sour or spicy like Warheads sour spray, Sour Patch Kids, Takis or jalapeños, hold something cold like an ice pack against your chest/stomach, try to relax your jaw and shoulders, use stim toys/stress balls
• If you're feeling angry; you can crumple/tear up pieces of paper or an old notebook. Writing down your feelings and/or scribbling rapidly before doing this is good too! You can also punch a pillow or anything soft enough to where you won't hurt yourself. Ik it can be wasteful, but snapping wooden pencils into lil bits was very therapeutic for me for a while! If you happen to have balloons for whatever reason, you can tie one to a rubber band(/string?) and bounce it against your fist like onea these babies:
• From the one above, write out your feelings! Even if it's just "I am feeling _ because _". If you have a hard time finding the words, here's some cool emotion wheels I like to use!:
• If you are on your period, take some painkillers (Midol is a lifesaver!), try to avoid caffeine & nicotine if you smoke, use a heating pad/heated blanket if available, take a hot bath or shower, if possible exercise/walking or certain stretches can help with cramping, and I'm gonna be completely honest here free-bl33ding on the toilet just helps sometimes idk 😂
-- NEXT, DISTRACTIONS:
• If possible, go for a walk or ride your bike around the block!
• If possible, try to talk to/call or text someone you trust, like a friend or family member. You can talk about anything, it doesn't have to be about what's causing your stress/anxiety/etc.
• Watch TV, YouTube, stim GIFs/videos, etc. Whatever helps you relax or laugh!
• Play a calming video game (I like to play Slime Rancher, Animal Crossing, Cooking Mama, Night In The Woods, Webkinz and No Man's Sky on creative mode!)
• Be creative! Even if you think you're "bad" at it bc it doesn't matter if it looks "pretty," you don't have to show anyone or post it anywhere. All that matters is if it makes you feel better! Drawing/doodling and coloring have always been a very great emotional outlet for me! Other fun stuff you could do: Splatter/abstract paint, make a collage or start a scrapbook, make a DIY craft with stuff around your house, SCRIBBLE!!, play around with an instrument or music program/app, design a character on Picrew or some sort of character creator, print out/make paper dolls and their clothes, stickerbomb something, film a music video featuring ur pets/stuffies/toys!
• Continuing the creativity one, make a mood/stim/agere board for yourself, an OC, your fave/comfort characters(s), etc.!
• Do word/number puzzles like word searches, crossword puzzles, sudoku, acrostic puzzles, cryptograms, framework/fill-in puzzles, etc.
• If you like making lists (like me), write out a list! (Ideas: Your comfort characters/movies/shows, your favorite board/video games, favorite places or cool places you've been, interesting animals, favorite bands/musical artists, current favorite songs, etc.)
• If you're like me, you can play some music and write down your favorite lyrics from each song that plays! (And doodle/scribble around the paper borders in between hehe) And/or make a playlist! Maybe make a playlist of songs that make you feel better in that moment, so you can look for it whenever ur stressed/upset!
• If possible, take a hot bath (you can add bubbles, bath bombs and/or toys!) Or a quick shower. Oh, and speaking of, I have a tip for people who struggle with brushing your teeth/remembering to do so! Try brushing your teeth when you shower!
These aren't the only things I do/know about, just ones I can remember at the moment, and they may not all work for everyone of course, but hopefully this is helpful to someone. 🥺 Feel free to add more in the replies/tags/reblogs!
#for reference; my period started today and pms is rude and unkind lol 😭#agere mental health#agere#age regression
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MAJOR trigger warnings below for rape/sexual abuse.
My response to @idioticconsultingdetective’s post.
When I was 15, I was raped. It has, naturally, left me with a lot of trauma. I still get intrusive memories sometimes, when my brain pushes traumatic moments to the forefront of my thoughts for no apparent reason.
It doesn’t happen much. Once or twice a year maybe. And yes, it has been happening today.
Every victim of trauma has their own coping mechanism. Earlier this year I found a fic on ao3 that I found actually helped. It was gross, disgusting (NOT romanticising anything as @potionsev has suggested) and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. Somehow - I’m sure a psychologist could tell me why - it helped me to compartmentalise my intrusive memories. I’m now more able to make myself believe the memories are just scenes from a story. Now, on the odd occasion it happens, I can go to that fic and convince myself I’m just reading a story.
I have never actively promoted that fic to anyone. The only reason it was discovered, someone looked at my ao3 bookmarks and found it. I should have made it a private bookmark, but to be quite honest I didn’t even consider something like this would happen.
When Twitter user ols7en asked me why, what was I to say? Was I to tell a 15 year old stranger, in 140 characters or less, that I was raped and the fic helped me process my trauma? Perhaps I should have not responded at all. I made a mistake in trying to brush it off as if it was nothing. I hoped they would move on, but perhaps I put too much stock in my irrelevance.
But at the end of the day, none of what I just said should matter. It shouldn’t matter why I read something. Policing what people read in fiction is policing thoughts, and as we hopefully all know, that’s a very, very slippery slope.
I don’t owe anyone this explanation. I’m giving it anyway because I know communicating my feelings helps me calm down from the near on 12-hour anxiety attack I’ve been having today.
Now, why did I delete my twitter account? Well, I’ve been close to it for a while now and this triggered my final decision. I’ve tried hard, for months, to fit in with the twitter fandom. It’s never worked. I’m not sure why - is it the generational gap? Is it the character limit restricting nuance? I’m not really sure. I’m the same person here and there, and here I seem to be vaguely popular. So there’s got to be something different between the two platforms restricting me from bridging the gap.
Pandora pointed out two things.
1. Sexualising Snape and Alan Rickman. We all do it here (mostly). Not so much on twitter - why? Again, who knows. Maybe in hindsight I should have restricted minors from following me.
2. ‘Attacking’ other users for developing minor characters. Not at all what happened, again perhaps this is due to the character limit restricting nuance. I tweeted in response to someone else that I found it confusing to log on and see people talking about characters I’ve never heard of. It certainly wasn’t an attack. Some people took issue with my describing them as ‘original’ - as if this is something I, with my 200k-word OC fanfic, would ever use in a derogatory sense.
What has really saddened me is the way Pandora has made this a personal goal to… whatever her goal is here. It’s sad because I liked her. I thought we were getting on. Then to be told I was never liked - that hurt. Why follow someone and interact positively while harbouring resentment? Why not simply not follow, not interact? I feel silly being personally hurt by a stranger on the internet, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.
Finally, to end on a positive note, I want to say a great big THANK YOU to everyone who has been kind to me today. I have told my side of the story to friends and they’ve comforted me, but more than that, people I don’t interact with have come to my defence. People who don’t follow me, who don’t know me or my side of the story. They’ve seen Pandora’s post and defended me. That, to me, is the true nature of the Snape fandom. 💚🐍
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Uncommon OC Questions: 1, 8, 38, 40, D and E for the jsamn trio please (if that's not too many xD)
omg omg omg thank you so much!!!! no such thing as too many i love talking hgghghdfhdk
1: What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?
john uskglass: can go uncannily still for hours on end when he's doing magic, like "you have to check if he's breathing" still, but absolutely starts fidgeting and losing temper after a minute in a "nothing to do" situation (or just leaves altogether, he's the king, duh)
william of lanchester: is actually pretty patient, can go couple hours of sitting in place like a normal person if he has to; the downside is if you leave him like this for too long he'll start overthinking and give himself brain damage
thomas of dundale: goes very still and quiet whenever he senses danger and can remain like this for a while, but otherwise will start pacing around/nudging people/being silly after like 10 minutes max
8: What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child
john: "STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP" / (by thomas) "hide!"
william: "stop slouching" / "speak louder"
thomas: "stop crying" / "be like your brother"
38: What memory do they revisit the most often?
john: not the one to reminisce i imagine, but i think upon his return to england he would initially be baffled by small displays of like. kindness? basic decency? on the part of humans and replay those moments in his head later. idk if the gentleman with the thistle-down hair is a representative case but i got the vibe that jsamn fairies generally are quite self-centered and don't care for others beyond their own benefit/entertainment (which would make faerie a pretty cutthroat place for a literal child, and also explain why trust and betrayal were such sensitive subjects for john in his adulthood), so i think it would take young john some time to grasp that sometimes people (ahem thomas and william ahem) are just nice to him/one another because they're capable of sympathy
william: nostalgic af!!! thomas was born in france in my hc, so that makes william the one person in their trio to actually feel emotionally attached to england as his home. i don't think there would be one definitive memory for him, but he totally would hold his childhood memories dear (esp the bittersweet ones, what with higher mortality rates in medieval times + the north still being quite a scarred place, i imagine, emotionally if not economically. i mean, the gap between 1111 and the harrying is just a few years longer than the gap between me and chornobyl)
thomas: probably avoids thinking about his pre-faerie childhood too often, though i like to think that he used to have a dog and loved it a lot. and then he avoids thinking about his time in faerie too bc there's just a lot of unpleasant stuff there. there must've been some exchange between teen thomas and baby john in faerie that solidified their friendship, maybe john using magic to protect him or telling thomas something his family never would have, like "why do you care so much what others think", something along those lines
40: How sensitive are they to their own flaws?
john: what "flaws" (ok actually i like to think that deep down he's aware that his family backstory is pretty shaky and is himself not 100% certain that it's true, but decides to stick with it nonetheless bc he's stubborn. i hc that part of the reason he took john uskglass sr.'s full name rather than keeping just the "uskglass" part and choosing his own first name is to kind of assert to himself as much as to everyone else that yes, he belongs in the human world, he's claiming the place of this other human dude who totally belonged here, see! but i also believe this anxiety is like, half-realized and he never actually properly thinks about it. he's perfect and the strongest and the smartest and goated with the sauce etc.)
william: VERY but it's mostly the flaws he's convinced himself that he has, not necessarily anything that bothers other people. his solution is to sulk about it in secret forever
thomas: eh. he's aware of them and doesn't think much of himself in general but he's mostly "it is what it is" about it. (i think a sensitive topic for him would be having nothing to call his own; i hc that he's not too keen about magic after all those years in faerie and that he cut ties with his family after they failed to accept him back, so somewhere across those 300 years he'd try to find his own Thing kind of sokka-style, but that's more of a predicament than a flaw)
D: Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?
yea i'm pretty much sticking with the first things that came to mind. like, things we know about william essentially boil down to 1 magician (= scholar); 2 can fill in for a king if need be; 3 has a moral compass but ultimately chooses fealty over it, so i just imagined a basic classic "introverted knight" type of dude, tall, dark, serious, nice beard, all that. thomas is kind of a contrast to him: younger, leaner, energetic, and a redhead for added fun; and john is. well. i'm a simple woman okay if i see a character i can bishounenify, i will xD
E: Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?
WELL john is a hard no, william is the one i'm projecting onto the most so i guess?? but we wouldn't necessarily hang out much; i think i'd have fun being around thomas but i doubt he'd find my company very interesting. that's all assuming i have something to talk about with medieval noblemen x)
anyways THANK YOU SO MUCH IT WAS SO FUN!!! <333
#john uskglass#william of lanchester#thomas of dundale#jsamn#jonathan strange and mr norrell#mari asks
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Some time ago I got tagged by the wonderful @aeons-domain and @anikasenkujo on this character inspiration sheet (thank you both so much! It was pretty fun!).
As an Oc that has been with me for 10+ years, Lia has gone through a lot of changes, but I think these characters are the closest to how I've always wanted people to perceive her!
Character descriptions and template under the cut!
Also, tagging whoever wants to join!
Nora Valkyrie (RWBY): A happy-go-lucky, bubbly and playful young woman, Nora is mainly characterized by her boundless enthusiasm. When Nora talks, many of her words may sometimes come out randomly without her actually giving much thought to anything she comes up with. This is caused by her tendency to jump into a different topic most of the time and her rather peculiar imagination. Because of this and her free-spirited attitude, Nora's personality changes according to her mood, and she is prone to becoming a nuisance to the people around her, losing the point of a conversation, or even experiencing anxiety attacks. However, Nora is more insightful than one might think and is capable of being serious when most necessary.
Laurie Strode (Halloween): She’s very methodical, and she stays on task. She’s very head-strong, and she’s very focused. She’s very confident, even though she has a lot of fears, and she’s not easily intimidated. She likes to think everything through, and she’s very sure of herself. She’s very intelligent, and she’s very good at what she does. Laurie is confident in herself, but she’s also very aware of her weaknesses. She’s not perfect, and she knows that she has things that she needs to work on. She’s very determined, and that’s another reason why she’s so successful. She’s very confident in herself, so she doesn’t let anything get under her skin.
Micaiah (Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn): Micaiah is a very caring and empathetic individual, but tends to be somewhat bitter at times, a result of both her treatment as a Branded prior to the story and the abuse of Daein and its citizens by the Begnion Occupational Army. She cares deeply for the people of Daein, and refuses to stand idly by while they suffer under their control. She pays little mind to her own needs or even her health, always putting the people and her country first; indeed, her Sacrifice skill is effectively her self-sacrificing nature manifesting as a magical power.
*You can probably tell, but she was mainly appearance inspiration (*´ω｀*)
Fem! Robin (Fire Emblem: Awakening): They are highly ingenious, creating strategies on the fly and even whipping up "crazy" plans or new war tactics out of pure inspiration. Because of their strategic mindset, Robin is highly perceptive to the others' feelings, and can figure out the source of most people's inner turmoils in a matter of a few important conversations. Robin is an avid reader of books. They have a penchant for history, but they're also a fan of reading novels as well. While friendly, they have a tendency of getting exasperated over the antics of some of the more colorful cast members. They generally care about the well being of everyone in army, and not just Chrom.
*Yeah, I know Robin is pretty much an avatar, but as I played Awakening I found myself wanting them to act a bit different, thus starting to get into Ocs for the first time.
Hiyori Iki (Noragami): Hiyori is a kind-hearted and brave individual who will go out of her way to help someone in danger, even if she does so at risk to her own safety. This extends not only to her loved ones, but also to strangers. She has a strong moral compass and is usually willing to speak out against others if she feels their actions are wrong, although she has shown herself to be slightly more lenient at times when the matter concerns a friend. She is very perceptive of those around her, able to see good intentions behind others' seemingly cruel words or actions.
Eirika (Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones): Eirika is a very kindhearted and caring person. She is shown to care deeply for everyone, especially the ones precious to her. Despite her dislike of fighting, she is shown to be very brave in the face of adversity; she will never deny help to anyone who needs it, and she will fight to protect her friends and her kingdom.
#lia tyson#jojo oc#3lia#my oc#jojo original character#stardust crusaders#Oc game#Don't look at me I grew up playing Fire Emblem#Thanks to it I created Lia on the first place#q
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Rules | Profile | Relationships
Credits | Thread tracker
Follows back from @citizensofcybertron
Mobile user-friendly guidelines below.
[ Tags: ]
[ #;; rules #;; answered #;; headcanons #;; visage #;; self promo ]
Mun basics -
Name: Soundy
Age: 29+
Pronouns: He / They
RP style: Multi-Para / Novella
Language: English
Timezone: EST
Activity level: Low to Moderate
About: Honestly just a huge bundle of anxiety with a fixation for giant alien robots. I promise I don’t bite. Here to have some fun, hone my skills, and hang out with my two amazingly wonderful partners, Arson and Charlie. Interested in supporting me? Consider buying me a coffee.
Tagging required: [ #soundy dont look ] I use this tag to filter out frogs, toads, or anything similar. I also ask that you tag anything with animal death, thank you.
It is important to note that I am autistic/adhd, as well as disabled, and may require more time, patience, and occasional clarification more than others. I tend to get overwhelmed easily, especially if I feel like I am being pressured or my replies start to get backed up.
I also work better if our roleplay is pre-planned or at least discussed prior. I struggle with ‘winging’ my replies if you are unsure where you would like to take our roleplay. Even a simple talk about possibly something you would like to explore or see is appreciated.
Feel free to reach out if we are mutuals, I am more than happy to discuss a plot point or encounter.
Thank you.
Rules -
Rules are subject to change. Updated: May 26, 2024
1. I will not interact with anyone who is under the age of 18. This blog is 18+ for sexual and non-sexual reasons, interactions with minors will not be tolerated.
2. I am semi-selective and mutuals only to avoid overwhelming myself and ask that you respect that.
3. Do not assume your muse is in the same location as mine.
4. Godmodding/Metagaming will not be tolerated.
5. OOC =/= IC interactions.
6. Cybertronian OCs are always welcome, but keep in mind that muses may be fickle. Human OCs are a bit harder due to their various natures, but with proper discussion I believe it could be done.
This isn’t anything against you or your character.
7. Magic!Anons will be on a case by case basis if I am interested in them, or if the muse takes to them, and please respect my decision to reject them as I see fit.
8. Triggering and NSFW content will be present, though I will tag accordingly. Common themes within the Transformers continuity are a given, but if you need something specific tagged or if I've forgotten to tag something, please let me know.
Tags will be # cw subject. My NSFW blog is @sinsofcybertron.
9. I will not be engaging in any discourse or calls out publicly, nor will I vague post about them. Mainly because I am not equipped to speak on such subjects, but I will take action behind the scenes if necessary.
10. Personal blogs allowed, but please do not reblog my threads, promos, or headcanons. You will be blocked if things start to get out of hand.
11. Please remind me of threads. My memory isn't the best and sometimes things fall to the wayside on accident, please don't hesitate to give me a poke asking about it if you feel forgotten. I try to keep everyone updated via OOC posts if something happens.
12. Dropped threads. I would greatly appreciate being notified if you intend to drop out thread so I can adjust my thread tracker accordingly.
13. I block liberally. There is zero tolerance for hate, bigotry, transphobia, homophobia, racism, etc.
14. Formatting/Length/Icons. I do not overly format my posts as it can be hard for me to read, and I may ask for clarification from you if your formatting becomes difficult to read. I do not expect you to match my length every time, but I do expect to be given something to reply to. Threads risk being dropped if I began to struggle to reply. Icons are completely fine.
I will continue to add rules as the problems arise, or as they come to mind. I will continue to add rules as the problems arise, or as they come to mind. If you've read my rules, I ask that you please leave a like on this post. It helps ease some of my anxieties with interacting.
Once more, all rules are subject to change at any moment in time. Please be respectful.
Thank you.
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Rules | Profile | Relationships
Credits | Thread tracker
Follows back from @citizensofcybertron
Mobile user-friendly guidelines below.
[ Tags: ]
[ #;; rules #;; answered #;; headcanons #;; visage #;; self promo ]
Mun basics -
Name: Soundy
Age: 29+
Pronouns: He / They
RP style: Multi-Para / Novella
Language: English
Timezone: EST
Activity level: Low to Moderate
About: Honestly just a huge bundle of anxiety with a fixation for giant alien robots. I promise I don’t bite. Here to have some fun, hone my skills, and hang out with my two amazingly wonderful partners, Arson and Charlie. Interested in supporting me? Consider buying me a coffee.
Tagging required: [ #soundy dont look ] I use this tag to filter out frogs, toads, or anything similar. I also ask that you tag anything with animal death, thank you.
It is important to note that I am autistic/adhd, as well as disabled, and may require more time, patience, and occasional clarification more than others. I tend to get overwhelmed easily, especially if I feel like I am being pressured or my replies start to get backed up.
I also work better if our roleplay is pre-planned or at least discussed prior. I struggle with ‘winging’ my replies if you are unsure where you would like to take our roleplay. Even a simple talk about possibly something you would like to explore or see is appreciated.
Feel free to reach out if we are mutuals, I am more than happy to discuss a plot point or encounter.
Thank you.
Rules -
Rules are subject to change. Updated: May 26, 2024
1. I will not interact with anyone who is under the age of 18. This blog is 18+ for sexual and non-sexual reasons, interactions with minors will not be tolerated.
2. I am semi-selective and mutuals only to avoid overwhelming myself and ask that you respect that.
3. Do not assume your muse is in the same location as mine.
4. Godmodding/Metagaming will not be tolerated.
5. OOC =/= IC interactions.
6. Cybertronian OCs are always welcome, but keep in mind that muses may be fickle. Human OCs are a bit harder due to their various natures, but with proper discussion I believe it could be done.
This isn’t anything against you or your character.
7. Magic!Anons will be on a case by case basis if I am interested in them, or if the muse takes to them, and please respect my decision to reject them as I see fit.
8. Triggering and NSFW content will be present, though I will tag accordingly. Common themes within the Transformers continuity are a given, but if you need something specific tagged or if I've forgotten to tag something, please let me know.
Tags will be # cw subject. My NSFW blog is @sinsofcybertron.
9. I will not be engaging in any discourse or calls out publicly, nor will I vague post about them. Mainly because I am not equipped to speak on such subjects, but I will take action behind the scenes if necessary.
10. Personal blogs allowed, but please do not reblog my threads, promos, or headcanons. You will be blocked if things start to get out of hand.
11. Please remind me of threads. My memory isn't the best and sometimes things fall to the wayside on accident, please don't hesitate to give me a poke asking about it if you feel forgotten. I try to keep everyone updated via OOC posts if something happens.
12. Dropped threads. I would greatly appreciate being notified if you intend to drop out thread so I can adjust my thread tracker accordingly.
13. I block liberally. There is zero tolerance for hate, bigotry, transphobia, homophobia, racism, etc.
14. Formatting/Length/Icons. I do not overly format my posts as it can be hard for me to read, and I may ask for clarification from you if your formatting becomes difficult to read. I do not expect you to match my length every time, but I do expect to be given something to reply to. Threads risk being dropped if I began to struggle to reply. Icons are completely fine.
I will continue to add rules as the problems arise, or as they come to mind. If you've read my rules, I ask that you please leave a like on this post. It helps ease some of my anxieties with interacting.
Once more, all rules are subject to change at any moment in time. Please be respectful.
Thank you.
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ɪɴᴅɪᴇ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱꜰᴏʀᴍᴇʀ ᴍᴜʟᴛɪ-ᴍᴜꜱᴇ ᴏᴄ ʀᴘ ʙʟᴏɢ
ᴘʀɪᴠᴀᴛᴇ | ꜱᴇᴍɪ-ꜱᴇʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ | ᴍᴜʟᴛɪ-ᴘᴀʀᴀ
12+ ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ ᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴇɴᴄᴇ | ᴍᴜʟᴛɪᴠᴇʀꜱᴇ & ᴀᴜ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅʟʏ
ᴘᴇɴɴᴇᴅ ʙʏ ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅʏ
Outbreak | Whiskey | Creatus | Atlas | Vaportrail | Reign
➤ More OCs will be added with time.
Mobile user-friendly guidelines below.
[ Tags: #;; rules #;; credits #;; headcanons #;; bio #;; self promo ]
Mun basics -
Name: Soundy
Age: 29+
Pronouns: He / They
RP style: Multi-Para / Novella
Language: English
Timezone: EST
Activity level: Low to Moderate
About: Honestly just a huge bundle of anxiety with a fixation for giant alien robots. I promise I don’t bite. Here to have some fun, hone my skills, and hang out with my two amazingly wonderful partners, Arson and Charlie. Interested in supporting me? Consider buying me a coffee.
Tagging required: [ #soundy dont look ] I use this tag to filter out frogs, toads, or anything similar. I also ask that you tag anything with animal death, thank you.
It is important to note that I am autistic/adhd, as well as disabled, and may require more time, patience, and occasional clarification more than others. I tend to get overwhelmed easily, especially if I feel like I am being pressured or my replies start to get backed up.
I also work better if our roleplay is pre-planned or at least discussed prior. I struggle with ‘winging’ my replies if you are unsure where you would like to take our roleplay. Even a simple talk about possibly something you would like to explore or see is appreciated.
Feel free to reach out if we are mutuals, I am more than happy to discuss a plot point or encounter.
Thank you.
Rules -
Rules are subject to change. Updated: May 26, 2024
1. I will not interact with anyone who is under the age of 18. This blog is 18+ for sexual and non-sexual reasons, interactions with minors will not be tolerated.
2. I am semi-selective and mutuals only to avoid overwhelming myself and ask that you respect that.
3. Do not assume your muse is in the same location as mine.
4. Godmodding/Metagaming will not be tolerated.
5. OOC =/= IC interactions.
6. Cybertronian OCs are always welcome, but keep in mind that muses may be fickle. Human OCs are a bit harder due to their various natures, but with proper discussion I believe it could be done.
This isn’t anything against you or your character.
7. Magic!Anons will be on a case by case basis if I am interested in them, or if the muse takes to them, and please respect my decision to reject them as I see fit.
8. Triggering and NSFW content will be present, though I will tag accordingly. Common themes within the Transformers continuity are a given, but if you need something specific tagged or if I've forgotten to tag something, please let me know.
Tags will be # cw subject. My NSFW blog is @sinsofcybertron.
9. I will not be engaging in any discourse or calls out publicly, nor will I vague post about them. Mainly because I am not equipped to speak on such subjects, but I will take action behind the scenes if necessary.
10. Personal blogs allowed, but please do not reblog my threads, promos, or headcanons. You will be blocked if things start to get out of hand.
11. Please remind me of threads. My memory isn't the best and sometimes things fall to the wayside on accident, please don't hesitate to give me a poke asking about it if you feel forgotten. I try to keep everyone updated via OOC posts if something happens.
12. Dropped threads. I would greatly appreciate being notified if you intend to drop out thread so I can adjust my thread tracker accordingly.
13. I block liberally. There is zero tolerance for hate, bigotry, transphobia, homophobia, racism, etc.
14. Formatting/Length/Icons. I do not overly format my posts as it can be hard for me to read, and I may ask for clarification from you if your formatting becomes difficult to read. I do not expect you to match my length every time, but I do expect to be given something to reply to. Threads risk being dropped if I began to struggle to reply. Icons are completely fine.
15. Please keep in mind @Citizensofcybertron is just a landing page and to make sure you follow the blog you may be specifically interested in interacting with as well as I do not roleplay from this account!
I will continue to add rules as the problems arise, or as they come to mind. If you've read my rules, I ask that you please leave a like on this post. It helps ease some of my anxieties with interacting.
Once more, all rules are subject to change at any moment in time. Please be respectful.
Thank you.
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so i found my old private comic diary from 2008-2009
from around the time i was 18yo. I quit school right before the finals and started working and trying to figure out what i was gonna do. I was super in the closet about being trans too
and boy
cw: sui, depression, anxiety, parental/emotional abuse, dysphoria
like 98% of the entrees i was either tired, angry, sad or all three at once
the other 2% was about my hobbies, mainly video games and anime/manga
I realize now how in bad and fragile state I was back then, and how living home with one parent being alcoholic really REALLY wasnt doing me any favors
there's specifically one entry from 7th of january 2009 that i vividly still remember making, because that night was when i decided im quitting school. i simply couldnt handle it anymore, that night was my breaking point.
(insert here lengthy explanation of how i wanted to quit first year but teachers talked me out of it only to want to quit second year but being talked out of it too..)
may 11th there's entry with no drawings just me writing
"Right now I'm feeling that classic LONELINESS.. but heaven forbid i try talk to anyone (at home) about it... I'm not allowed to be sad because that'll just ruin the day for everyone else!"
I'm turning 34 this year, I completed my transition 2017 which is same year I finally moved out officially. From then on both my suicidality and dysphoria left me and though I still struggle mentally and have incredibly bad days with panic attacks and all that, at least those two big evils have not returned.
The growth and insight on my own mental state and character has been a lot since then too and now understanding myself better than ever, reading these entries im mortified about what kind of life I had to live back then wondering how the hell I made it through, but at the same time it really gives some hindsight perspective...
like no wonder I struggle with debilitating anxiety order
I guess the overall reason I write this is that, sometimes being reminded of the hell you've been in puts things in perspective in the now.
I need to be kinder and gentler at myself.
And so do you no matter what you have been or are going through.
on (ig?) lighter note on some of the entries I was still drawing myself having dialogue about things with my """"""oc"""""" who was "my exact clone but a guy instead" and also had the name that's my actual legal name now.
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Take Care ~ Chapter 5
Joe Burrow x Reader
Warnings: Adult Language, Cheating, Anxiety, Heartbreak, Angst, and Toxic Relationship
Characters: Joe Burrow, Sam Hubbard, Y/N Hubbard, Sidney Blossom (OC), and Tyler Adams (OC)
Author’s Note: Hello Everyone, I just have two quick announcements! One, next Saturday I will be posting the last chapter of this series. Second, I updated my Masterlist so I would recommend checking it out. I will be posting two one shots after this series is over. I will be posting a little schedule sometime this week! Anyways I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!
Word Count: 2,049
It has now been a whole week since Y/N and Joe shared a passionate kiss. Joe has tried to get in contact with Y/N a couple of times but she’s never gotten in contact back so he decided it would be the best to give her some space. After the Y/N kissed him, he realized that Sam and Ava were right. He does have feelings for Y/N, he was just too stupid to realize it.
Joe was on his way to Sam’s house to tell him about what happened since he can’t keep all of this in till he can talk to Y/N because to be honest he doesn’t know when he will be able to talk to her. After parking his car in front of Sam’s house he turned the car off and got out.
Joe walked up to the front door and rung the doorbell. He waited patiently till he heard Sam’s voice yell doors open. Joe walked into the house and saw Sam sitting on the couch in his living room watching football highlights from last year on his TV.
“Hey Joe, come over and have a seat.” Sam told him with a smile. Joe walked over to him and took a seat down next to him. Sam picked up the remote off the table and paused the video. “What’s been going on?” Sam asked in a curious tone as he put the remote back onto the table. “You were right.” Joe told him with a sigh as he fiddled with his hands. “Um bro you’re going to have to be more specific since I’m right about a lot of things.” Sam told him which made Joe roll his eyes at him. Sam picked up his water bottle and started to drink from it.
“I have feelings for Y/N.” Joe confessed which almost made Sam choke on his water. Sam closed his water bottle and sat it back on the table as he caught his breath. “What made you finally realize it?” Sam asked him. “Last week she got into a fight with Tyler, so she came over to my house and told me about what happened.” Joe told him which immediately but Sam in worry about his baby sister again. “What happen between her and Tyler?” Sam asked with worry in his tone.
Every time he hears that Y/N and Tyler had a fight he’s scared that Tyler could’ve put his hands on her.
“He told her that the reason why he doesn’t go out with her anymore is because she’s a fucking buzzkill and that she was more fun when they were in college.” Joe told him as his hands turned into fists because the more, he thinks about Tyler talking down on Y/N, the more he gets furious at Tyler. “That fucking asshole.” Sam hissed as his blood boiled.
“After she told me that I told her the truth. I told her that she needs to break up with Tyler because she deserves to be with someone that tells her how beautiful, smart, and amazing girl she is.” Joe explained to him. “And then what happened?” Sam asked him. “She kissed me.” Joe said which made Sam’s eyes go wide in shock. He wasn’t expecting that to be what happened next.
“She kissed you?” Sam said in a surprised tone. “Yeah, I didn’t pull away because I didn’t have the urge to. I felt so many sparks through my body.” Joe told him as he stared down at his hands that weren’t in fists anymore.
“Have you two talked since the kiss?” Sam asked him. Joe shook his head no in response. “It’s been a week. I did try to get a hold of her but no response, so I decided to give her space.” Joe added with a heavy sigh. “I’ll get in contact with Sidney to talk to her since I know she won’t be completely honest with me.” Sam told him which earned him another nod from him.
“Don’t worry Joe, everything will be fine.” Sam told him in reassurance as he gave him a pat on the shoulder. “I hope so.” Joe said in a soft tone.
~~~~~~~~~~
Y/N was sitting in her tiny living sitting on the love seat watching TV. She was watching her comfort show hoping it will get her mind off from her kiss with Joe but sadly it wasn’t working. She doesn’t feel regretful about the kiss, but she does feel terrible about it. No matter what the fuck her and Tyler are fighting about it’s not okay for her to go and kiss another guy.
She broke out from her deep thoughts when she heard a knock on the door. “It’s open.” Y/N called out as she kept her eyes on the TV. Sidney walked into the apartment.
“Hey, is Tyler here?” Sidney asked closing the door behind her and taking her purse off her shoulder. She hung her purse up next to Y/N’s. “That’s a stupid fucking question.” Y/N answered in a snappy tone that Sidney wasn’t taken back by. Now that she thinks about it, yeah that was a stupid fucking question.
“Anyways um I got a text from Sam saying he wanted me to come and talk to you.” Sidney told her as she walked over to her best friend. “I guess Joe told him about what happened.” Y/N said as her eyes were still glued to the screen of the television. “Y/N, we’re just worried about you.” Sidney told her as she took a seat down next to her. “Especially Joe.” Sidney added.
“I’m confused.” Y/N said as she looked over at Sidney. “About what?” Sidney asked her. “My feelings. The feelings I had for Joe are back but those feelings I have for Tyler are surprisingly still here as well.” Y/N told her and let out a sigh of frustration. “Even though Joe treats me ten times better than Tyler I just can’t get the courage to leave him.” She added still with frustration.
“You need to tell Joe this.” Sidney told her in a stern tone. “He thinks you want nothing to do with him.” Sidney added which made Y/N cuss at herself in her head.
“Fuck, I’m so stupid!” Y/N hissed in anger as she ran both of her hands through her messy hair. “Hey, you’re not stupid. Like you just said you’re confused.” Sidney told her.
“You’re going to fix this. You’re going to let Joe know about what’s going on with your feelings and you two can just go from there.” Sidney explained to her.
“Everything will be fine.” She told with a reassuring smile. “I hope so.” Y/N mumbled and went back to watching the TV.
~~~~~~~~~~
It was the next day and Y/N has just got off work. She was on her way to Joe’s house to talk to him. She texted Tyler and just told him she’s working a couple extra hours. Y/N pulled her car into a parking spot in front of Joe’s house and turned the engine off.
“You can do this.” Y/N whispered to herself as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm her nerves that were going crazy.
She got out of her car and made her way up to Joe’s front door. She took another calming breath and then pushed the button to Joe’s doorbell. Her heart rate sped up when she heard footsteps approach the door. When the door opens there stood Joe.
“Hey.” Joe said with a small smile that immediately made her heart melt. He was so relieved to see her standing here in front of him. “Hi.” Y/N said as she returned the small smile.
“Can I come in so we can talk?” She asked him in a curious tone. “Of course.” Joe answered as he stepped to side. After Y/N walked inside the house Joe shut the door.
“We can talk in the living room.” Joe told her as he led her into the room. They both took a seat on the long coach.
“Before I say anything I just want to apologize for not answering your texts or calls.” Y/N told him as she looked at him soft eyes. “Y/N it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize. You needed space.” Joe told her in a reassuring tone. “I do have feelings for you.” Y/N confessed which did take him by surprise but did feel like a weight lifted off his shoulders. “I have feelings for you too.” Joe told her which made her cheeks turn a light shade of red. She’s waited so long to hear the guy of her dreams say that.
“I need some time to decide who I want to be with because yeah even though Tyler and I are going through a lot of shit, those feelings for him are still there.” Y/N explained to him. “I understand, take all the time you need. I don’t want you to feel rushed.” Joe told her.
Y/N wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug. Joe smiled as he returned the hug. “Thank you.” Y/N said as she rested her head on one of his shoulders. “You’re welcome.” Joe told her as he gave her a soft kiss on the head.
~~~~~~~~~~
It was around eight o’ clock when Y/N got back to the apartment. She walked up the steps that today were killing her legs like every day. When she went to walk into the tiny apartment the door was locked.
“Okay?” Y/N mumbled to herself in confusion as she dug through her purse to get her keys out.
Why did Tyler have the door locked?
After unlocking the door, she walked inside the apartment. She saw Tyler was not in his usual chair.
Was he already in bed asleep?
She put her keys into her purse and hung it up on the hook. She walked down the tiny hallway to the shared bedroom. When she opened the door, her heart shattered into a million pieces.
~~~~~~~~~~
Y/N was sitting in the living on the love seat with tears slowly streaming down her face. When she opened the bedroom door, she saw Tyler her their bed with another woman. Y/N was just staring blanky at the TV that wasn’t turned on when Tyler walked back into the apartment after walking the woman out.
“How long?” Y/N hissed in anger as the tears continued to come down her red cheeks. “What?” Tyler asked which pissed her off even more.
What the fuck does he mean by what?
“HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN FUCKING THAT GIRL!” Y/N yelled at him as she looked at him with fire in her eyes. “Three weeks.” Tyler answered as he looked down at his feet.
“Everyone was fucking right about you!” Y/N said as she shook her head. “I’m sorry.” Tyler told her as he looked back at her. Y/N let out a harsh laugh as she wiped away her tears. “You may be sorry, but you don’t love me. You don’t feel regret.” Y/N told him as she looked at him with disgust.
“You haven’t loved me for a while now and I was so dumb because I didn’t want to believe it.” Y/N added as she got up onto her feet. “This is over isn’t?” Tyler asked as he just stared at her. “Congratulations, you’re finally right about something.” Y/N snapped at him and walked past him to the bedroom.
She grabbed a book bag and put some clothes into it with her hairbrush and any essentials she needs. She walked back into the living where Tyler hadn’t moved a step.
“I’m going to spend two nights at my brother’s house.” Y/N told him as she swung the book bag onto her shoulder. “When I come back, I want you and all your fucking shit out. I don’t give a fuck where you go.” Y/N told him in a stern tone. “Okay.” Tyler told her with a nod of the head. “Good.” Y/N hissed as she grabbed her purse and walked out of the apartment.
She didn’t slam the door shut because there was no need to. She has won this long-running battle against the man that has been putting her through hell.
#joe burrow x reader#joe burrow imagine#joe burrow fanfiction#joe burrow fanfic#joe burrow#joe brr#sam hubbard#ohio#Ohio State Buckeyes#ohio state#Ohio State Football#cincinnati bengals#cincinnati#Bengals#lsu#Lsu Football#LSU tigers#fanfiction#fanfic#football#nfl#nfl football#nfl imagine
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POW
✨Sweetheart OC✨
Next up in my line of redacted listeners we have Sweetheart! I love this sassy little shit.
Info about him under the cut!
*boss music starts playing*
Okay, don’t laugh at his name, he chose it himself completely unironically
My Sweetheart is named Cheshire and uses he/they pronouns
Transmasc nonbinary ftw 😎😎
5'7"
I LOVE HIS GLASSES OKAY
Their hair is cut like a mowhawk, but long-
Does that make sense?
He has both sides buzzed but not the back
Like a long mowhawk but not a mowhawk...
I’ll stop trying now
Look at this comfy casual gnc icon!!
Bratty bottom that won’t submit easily
Gotta be stubborn to be an investigator yk
They love scaring the shit out of Milo, but they also love scaring Aggro.
One time they scared the poor cat with a cucumber, which led to him army crawling around the house for a week.
Milo won’t let him buy cucumbers now.
However they have resorted to bananas, which are not as effective, but sometimes it gets him.
Chess makes it up to Aggro and Milo with treats and kisses 😚😚
15% snarky; 25% flirty; 40% menace; 20% horny
Can usually talk his way out of a fight, but knows how to defend himself if needed.
He knows the fine art of “anything can be a weapon if you hit hard enough”
Which is why Milo never tries to scare them in return-
Fight or flight: they are a FIGHT
He can handle spicy foods surprisingly well.
He doesn’t necessarily like spicy foods, hell its something he hardly really eats, but for some reason he can drink a bottle of hot sauce and be fine.
They one time tried to do the ghost pepper challenge-
Milo was going to try too, because, “how hard can it be,” but the smell alone was enough for him to nope out of that one.
Cheshire ate the whole thing in one bite with a straight face (because they think they’re Superman)
Milo later found him sitting in a cold bath with his clothes still on, face red and streaked with tears; he was laughing but he was crying and he was shaking from the cold water but also sweating-
Milo still gives him shit about it
They’re not particularly into pda, they just get really clingy when there’s a lot of people around.
What’s that? My boyfriend just arrived? Move, I need to kiss him.
What do you mean he just left the room for two seconds? I need to hold his hand-
He doesn’t care if he’s already practically sitting on Milo’s lap, he neEDS TO HOLD HIM CLOSER
Big bad investigator is a simpering little bitch for this wolf I stg
High risk job mixed with an anxiety disorder? Yes, please, that is their favorite blend.
Not really, please help him.
Sometimes Milo wonders if he needs to get them a therapy animal, but then he remembers “oh, wait, that’s me.”
He calls Milo Muffin. It started ironically, and he liked it ironically, but gang it’s not ironic anymore. He also calls him Sweet Pea, babe, Milove, My King
🚨MILO SOMETIMES CALLS THEM TOOTS AND DOLL🚨
One time Milo was teasing them about their name, and—in reference to the Cheshire Cat—called them Kitten.
Their soul left their body, that’s all I’ll say.
He DEFINITELY made Milo dress as Harley Quinn for Halloween, while he dressed as Joker. (Aggro was catman Batman)
He didn’t choose these constumes to make fun of Milo’s accent, he just wanted an excuse to get Milo to call him Puddin.
#redacted asmr#art#illustration#oc#redacted sweetheart#original character#drawing#redacted sweetheart oc#redacted asmr listener#redacted listener#redacted listener oc#redacted fanart#redacted oc#redacted headcanons#listener oc#redacted art#redactedverse#gendered listener#redacted audio#redacted audio listener#nb!listener#fem coded listener
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20 for Riot. And „F“ for you.
Heeehehehehe I'm answering all three here if that's alright. Sooo you asked, 20, 24 and 38, AND C, F and G
<3
20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?
Mmmhmmmm, well, Riot's only experience with familial love came from her (two sets of) grandparents, because her parents were always away with their work, so her views on family love are a bit askew, and maybe also idealised (in the sense that she thinks it should be X way, but she's not sure if it really is).
That is one of the reasons why she is slow to trust, but if you earn that trust it is rooted deep and solid. The same way, if you betray that trust, you've lost it forever (and you'd be lucky if she doesn't cut you out of her life for good - fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me).
If she had to explain the difference between one or another, before Transnistria I think she would have said sexual attraction. If she feels sexual, is not familiar or platonic (she does not (ever) do one night stands, only has sex if there's a connection there). After Transnistria, she thought she'd never feel that again, for fear, or self consciousness, but she's seeing it was a lie.
(Deep and sincere) Familiar love for her is what she feels for Captain Price, Gaz, Gabi, Dr. Heather, Kate Laswell, Zhar and Nik. She'd gladly give her life for them, and would be destroyed emotionally if any of them were missing from her life. She doesn't have many friends as it is, doesn't speak from anyone from her life before the military except for some neighbours that take care of her house and business.
Platonic love is what she feels for Johnny. They are each other's person, and she'd plainly die, no questions, if she didn't have him in her life. She knows (believes) she needs Soap more than he needs her back (which is a fat lie, Johnny feels closer to her than to his own elder sisters), and the mere thought of losing him gives her anxiety.
Romantic love is something she hasn't experimented before, or at least not to the degree she is now (lol). She doesn't have much experience under her belt, because unless she feels a spark she won't make a move or accept a move on her. Before, she would have said the difference was the sexual attraction, now she'd say it's the deep, painful, addicting longing, the greedy and selfish want, the need to have and to keep.
24. Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?
Riot considers sex as natural as breathing, even though she doesn't partake in casual sex, and has no problems talking about it, maybe even a bit bluntly sometimes. Not with everyone, of course, for example with Soap has had deep, long talks about it (even giving him tips with previous partners). If you ask her anything about sex, 95% of the time she'll answer.
38. What memory do they revisit the most often?
Riot is not someone who tends to dwell on the past, it is what it is and all that.
She misses her grandparents more than she misses her own parents, so it would be a memory from her home in the mountains, next to the sea, where the forest almost gets cut off by the cliffs over the shore, taking care of the cows and sheep at her grandparent's farm, the smell of the Cantabric sea beating against the rocks, the scent of the trees, the chirping of the birds, the howling of the wolves at night.
C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?
Well, I read a lot (and still do) about the canon, trying to fit her as best as possible without changing things (at least too much). That's why I decided to set my story AFTER Las Almas and all that (and next game is going to fuck me up, I'm dreading it...).
F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?
Most of the time, pride. She is everything I am, but better, way better, and at the same time, I also feel sadness for the very same reason.
G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?
Their inability of accept praise (pot calling kettle here), to accept they're good enough, and that they are stubborn like a mad bull, the type where she'll be bleeding but pushing forward just because she has to live up to her reputation (too stubborn to just lie down and lie). She's Riot, FFS.
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assign your mutuals with an oc of yours that you think will fit well as their partner,s/o,be close to them. Or just someone that your oc and your mutual will look good together. Idk if that makes sense sorry if it doesn't
Hey there anon! No worries, I get what you mean! If I'm wrong, then do send me another ask ^^
@sealedchasm
Meztli,,,for some reason idk why-- I just feel like he won't try to kill you at first meeting and may even warm up to you eventually.
Actually I'm kinda positive he won't do anything to hurt you, he'd just be a huge pain in the ass with how annoying he is. But hey, expect to receive little trinkets or flower bouquets on days when hes feeling soft.
@boiling-potato
Cupid or Elios! For sure!
Cupid loves someone who he can have a conversation with and won't judge him for rambling! And since you're one that enjoys listening to people, he'd be drawn to you naturally! You're an excellent companion!
Also thinking Zion might be close to you!
@feelin-lo
Okay I had Cupid in my mind for you but then I thought long and hard about it and came to the conclusion that Kuro also seems to fit!
Same thing with BP for Cupid! However, Kuro will be close to you for a different reason; He would love it when you are able to calm him down during any of his nervous breakdowns due to his anxiety.
Cupid comes first and then Kuro comes close really really close second!
@mystique-flowers-and-sibling-duo
Nathan loves your calming aura!! He just needs someone that can be there for him and that is exactly what you're able to provide! He enjoys being near you ^^
@startheimpactfangirl
Sylvester warms up pretty fast! He definitely finds your non-judgemental personality fun to be around with and it gives him a chance to actually talk to someone freely without having to worry what you'd think about him!
Also Kin!!
@thekinderwizard
Emrys or Lesley tbh! Lesley would LOVE and I'm not even exaggerating here but absolutely LOVE you! She'd be all over and just constantly talking about her day to you! Expect to have her head in your lap and your hands running through her hair >:]] she enjoys being close to you!
but for Emrys, he'd be close to practically anyone who even shows him a tiny bit of empathy. With your helpful and cheerful (with a tinge of unstable--) aura, he'd be drawn to you!!
@alcohol1maid
Joarl! He finds joy in everything and he definitely will instantly love being around you! He's all-around a really loveable guy, real forgetful sometimes but nothing you won't be able to help with!
+Sylvester too!
@honeysleepy
Basically all the canon pretty boys tbh- but if I had to choose one? Meztli.
You can take Zalgo too if you'd like--
@chisekai
KAI WHITLOCK,,,no other words needs to be said,,, He seems like the perfect fit and I just can't describe why-
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For the fic writer asks, how about ❤️, 💕, 💭, 💛, and 🦋?
❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?
“Solus,” he directed her eyes to look into his, “you are as much a Mando’ade as anyone else. Having lightsabers or using the Force doesn’t make you a Jedi. The same as wearing beskar’gam and some half-heartedly attempts to follow orders doesn’t make you Mando’ade. Every battle you’ve fought in this war has been fought as one of us.”
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💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?
Okay, I have next to now published fics meaning there's none I can actually link for this. It's probably a fic that got dubbed "Secret Sharing" in the google doc to give it a name.
The fic is set in an AU where Solus got pregnant before she left the Order; it's the same twins, Jila and Tarre, just arriving two-ish years sooner with no planning. But, it's her on Krownest and actually having to talk to Pre as her Manda'lor and leader but also the father of her children. Solus, someone toting impressive amounts of PTSD (many sources), anxiety, and sheer exhaustion, wanted to keep it quiet as long as possible. Her plan was to be ahead of the narrative but that collapsed. Then to the shock only her everything is more than okay.
It's just a feelsy piece for me where Solus gets to made to feel at home again. Internally she expected there to still be strings attached when she showed up. Like, she could join Death Watch but she would still be an Other due to her past. Then what happens isn't the past repeating itself. She has a completely positive interaction with her superior, Pre, unlike most of her interactions with the High Jedi Council. There's also this assurance that he doesn't doubt her strength or capability in doing this on her own. But, she doesn't have to be alone.
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💭 What inspires you and your writing?
There's no measurable rhyme or reason for my inspiration. Sometimes it's a song or a writing prompt or a trope I want to explore. Other times, I have an idea pop into my brain that demands attention right that moment.
Something I do try to include for though is Arc Questions. It gives me a goal to write and develop my characters toward. For example, with my major fic I'm working on with Solus it's a question about Identity. There's the comparison made in the series of "Your lightsaber is your life." (It's probably one of my favorite lines in Star Wars because of the endless possibilities.) She wields two as two individual weapons but never combined as a staff. When one is broken on Concordia the question for her, someone with two separate, conflicting identities, is now, "Which part of you died: the Jedi or the Mandalorian?" Then the story and her growth works in part to answer that.
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💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?
Honestly, that improvements aren't linear or predictable nor does everything have to follow the exact plan. I'm a little bit of a control freak about my own life in terms of I have a schedule and plans and immensely dislike deviation with out advanced notice. But, my best writing is done when I let go of the control. Things evolve and bloom in unexpected ways that frankly turn out better in the end.
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🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?
This is so difficult because there's so many characters I adore writing. From canon characters, it's probably tie between Pre Vizsla and Jill Valentine. Carlos Oliveira and Bo-Katan Kryze are close seconds because I am a simple person. I see a character that becomes my all time favorite (preferably with Fun Trauma) then I write them, possibly getting more trauma or having soft times. Then from my OCs, it's Solus Ve'tra followed by Jila Ve'tra and Nico Bright.
Fanfic Writer Ask Game
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