im so funny, i was like
"yeah i enjoy romance but not that basic 'omg i just wanna hug you and kiss you and love you and snuggle you' shit that makes me sooo uneasy. i just want a comfortable silence and someone i know i can trust and watch stuff with and feel comfortable around no matter what. someone i can really fully trust that I don't have to put on a whole weird lovey dovey show around. that other stuff feels so fake and forced and weird, even if it's true it's like, oh my god shut up what are you talking about." <- IDIOT!!!! YOU'RE AROMANTIC. GOD.
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I wish there were more fics of Hades and Zagreus trying to mend their relationship.
Key word is TRYING! They are gonna fuck up, they are gonna ruin their progress once in a while, they are gonna cringe as they experience the uncomfortable conversations they have to have in order to ‘heal’ and understand one another.
I dont want them to be perfect, that is IMPOSSIBLE, but i do want to see them make an effort to be more than just ‘neutral’ with eachother
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04.02.24, sunday
4h of the article swamp again. Been going through so many I’m starting to recognize some of the authors’ names like ”o heyy it’s sergio again”
duolingo french streak day 30
sent an email (personal hell is writing that stupid meaningless context sentence when the point of the email is to just forward articles so there’s nothing rly else to say than ”k so here are these”)
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i was sifting through a bunch of jesse hate (for an edit not bc i’m obsessed😭) and the gist of what i got was just. a willful misunderstanding of his character, his trauma, and his naivety/innocence in regards to his age/the power imbalance present within his relationship with walt and like. almost everyone else on the show.
obviously all of the people that loathe him and have paragraphs upon paragraphs of misinterpretations & simplifications of his arc to spew online are all people that love & identify with walter (surprise surprise), but i feel like it’s also so very reminiscent of the shit i noticed these last two years with certain media where a large portion of audience is both too stupid to recognize nuances present in writing & leans heavily on their confirmation bias.
and on that note, what was not shocking to me was how many of these complaints could be boiled down to him getting in walt’s way, making things more difficult for walt, or subverting walt’s authority. it’s incredibly similar to the hatred for skyler that has only recently begun to taper off (or at least take different forms or been redirected to other characters - like jane). jesse shares significantly more similarities with female characters in brba than any male character, and i think it’s only because he is not a woman (whereas skyler is) that jesse hate was not more prevalent while the show was airing/i see more of it now than ever.
jesse is a pussy, he’s a little bitch, he’s weak, he cries too much - because it’s not “manly” for him to feel remorse and to be destroyed by guilt. when he self destructs it’s selfish and when he lashes out he’s ungrateful. never mind the fact that he has been through more than enough to deeply traumatize even the most well adjusted individual by s3, much less at the end of his captivity by s5. with no one to turn to, no one to talk to, no one to comfort him. he’s neglected time and time again by the man who, from the very beginning, violated & disrespected his boundaries, his belongings, his personal life, his home, his time & has (both intentionally and unintentionally) methodically chipped away at any meaningful relationship jesse had or could have & left him with nothing but Him, nurturing a deadly codependency. he has at least two members of walt’s family being projected onto him as well as the role of a student & business partner. perfect obedience & perfect fulfillment of these roles is expected, but not praised.
would you not also be a little bitchy sometimes? do impulsive & risky things to gain attention or love or some semblance of power in your otherwise powerless life? would you not fall prey to fleeting affection given by a dying man (with the same sickness as your late aunt that you shared a home with and loved so dearly that you spent her remaining time on this earth by her side, taking care of her) when that affection is so heady? when you have nothing and no one else??
it always circles back around to “he knew what he was getting into”, “he deserved xyz”, “he could have stopped at any time”, and “why didn’t he just leave” - just like with skyler. i don’t think i have to explain why those comments are so disturbing & i don’t think it’s difficult at all to understand why he cries or bitches so much…
anyway, i’ll conclude this post with these quotes because i think it says a lot that the only character vince remembers the audience hating so much is skyler -
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You think being aroace is great cause you assume “oh yay I don’t have to deal with relationships or whatever thank goodness I feel so much more comfortable” UNTIL you experience some weird form of attraction that like No Other Human Has Experienced Ever :/
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