Bittersweet pt. 2

Pt.1

Hobie x reader

Regretful (noncanon?) hobie

(*warning* Not proofread)

Hobie was left alone in your shared bathroom, it was quiet, he was finishing up cleaning himself. Guilt washed over his body as he kept replaying the incident of earlier, he didnt mean to yell at you so harshly. When he was coming home all he could think about is cuddling up in your embrace and falling asleep next to you, he knew he shouldn’t have used his condition as an excuse for his actions towards you. It’d been a long two days, from Miguel’s constant orders, to the villains who refused to give up, he didnt know why he even grabbed you so aggressively, he just wanted some space, but not like this. He closed his eyes and sighed, ‘shit, the hell is wrong w` me’ he knew your nagging was coming from a place of love and worry, he found it endearing most of the time, he himself couldn’t wrap his head around his behavior. He made his way back to the bedroom but you were nowhere to be seen, his heart sank a little. No matter what argument you two had, you never slept apart from one another, it became a habit that you couldn’t go without now. Seeing you go out of your way to avoid him only made him realize how much he had overreacted.

'Who does he take me for?' You thought to yourself. Your heart ached as you cried, it wasn't just how he had yelled at you, but all the stress and anxiety youd been feeling these past few days had finally caught up to you. It pained you to see him a battered and hurt, it doubled thses past few days that you hadn't heard a peep from him. Your wrists ached a bit from earlier, you hugged yourself as you laid in bed replaying the situation. Your tears hadn’t stopped flowing since, you hated how weak you look at the moment, but you were just so angry. You would normally give him a piece of your mind, but his tone and the look on his face, were something you never thought he’d show you. 

Hobie cleaned up his cuts and showered as quickly as he could to try and talk to you, apologize. He opened the bathroom door to find you gone, you weren't in your shared bedroom, he tried calling out to you, but there was no response. His stomach churned uncomfortably as he scrambled through the house to find you,, luckily he found your keys and coat still in their place, he finally reached the guest room, seeing your back turned to him, curled up under the sheets. He sighed in relief as he walked up to you. “Love? You awake?” You had heard the bedroom door open up knowing who it was. He called out to you, hoping he could apologize before you fell asleep. His footsteps echoed a bit as he got closer to you. “Look, I’m so sorry for being such a dick earlier, I wa-“

He froze at the sight, your shaking shoulders and your sniffles gave you away, You tried to pretend to be asleep, but you couldn’t help the tears from falling down your face, you were so frustrated and annoyed, mostly hurt, how could your sweet boyfriend be so rude? All you wanted to do was care for him... He kneeled on the floor next to you, he gently grabbed your shoulder to make you face him. As soon as he saw your pretty face full of sadness, he was mentally beating himself up for being the cause. Your lashes still wet and your nose red just like your cheeks, you never liked how you looked when you cried but even now Hobie thought you were beautiful, he was determined to make things right and put a smile back on your face. He reached to cup your cheeks, as you met his gaze, you didn't say anything, simply roll your eyes at him. He wiped away a few stray tears, before finally speaking again, "look i am so so sorry, really...it wasn't my intention. I'm not here to excuse what I did. I just- i dont know, I fucked up, I shouldn't have shouted, I shouldn't have held onto you like that. I know you were just worried ." His words only made you tear up even more, "then why'd you do it, do you know how I felt when I didnt hear from you?...I thought the very worst Hobie." You whisper trying so hard not breakdown then and there, his touch is warm and his scent is so comforting, but you can't be tempted, you want explanations.

You sit up as you speak looking down at your lap, he grabs your hands and examines your wrist, his guilt eating away at him even more now. He caresses them and handles them with care, he brings them to his lips, kissing them softly as if trying to lessen the irritation. "I'm so fucking sorry love, I'm sorry. I tried calling but fucking miguel kept pushing all these missions on me, I didn't have the time, I missed you and then to top it off I got the shit beat out of me, I just wanted to come home. I know I shouldn't have taken it out on you, I do... I didnt want you to see me in such a state, but I should just let you help me. I'm sorry for being a stubborn arse..." looking up at you with such a pleading expression and his regretful voice, you can tell he's being honest, you don't know what to do...you sigh and interlock your fingers together with his, "I'm glad you recognize your mistake Hobie, but you really scared me tonight."

Fuck, he's on the verge of tears, his hand tightens ever so slightly against yours as he leans his forehead against them, "I know and I'll keep making up for it for the rest of my life, I regret it so badly. I promise it won't ever happen again." both of you stay quiet for a bit, letting your emotions settle, "does it still hurt?" He asks, talking about your wrists, soothing the area with his thumb, you shake you head lightly, "i just wish you would trust me more Hobie, i wish you could let me help you, this was so unfair on your part, you had me anxious that something had happened to you only for you to come back home in the worst condition...how do I know something like this won't happen again?" Your voice cracking and you sniffle again. He bit his lip ring as he listened, "I'll listen to you, I'll be more open, I'll call you if anything happens, I'll make time for you. I'll do anything, I'm beggin here." He pleads as holds both of you hands in his as he stares into your eyes looking for any response, you stay silent, it take you a minute to respond and though it went against your better judgment, you decide to forgive him, "fine...just this once will this happen Hobart Brown, there is no other chance after this" you warn your tone stern but a little weary from crying.

He immediately hugs you, squeezing you tightly, ignoring the pain from his injuries, kissing your shoulder, then your cheek and finally your lips. In between every kiss, he take the opportunity to profusely apologize, never again would he make his girl feel like this again, much less handle her anything less than precious. You finally smiled and giggled as he did, "I've missed you hobs" you sigh as you hugged him. "Alright now let's go, I havent been able to sleep catch a wink of sleep, all cuz of O'Hara." He says playfully as he lifts you princess style back to your shared bedroom and places you ever so gently on the bed, he lays next you, as soon as your back into his arms its like every negative emotion left your mind, you drift to sleep, hearing his steady heart beat and taking in his warmth. His hands soothing your back, as he watches you close your eyes, he stays awake a little longer, admiring you, your features, feeling your body flush against his. He kissed your forehead, "I love you" he whispered, he wasn't ready to say it out loud just yet, but someday he might.. he missed you so much, it almost drove him crazy, he was an fool (for you), and he swore to himself again, that he would go to the ends of the earth just to keep you happy.

I'm sorry for how fucking long this was, and I'm also super sorry how long it took me to finally finish :(. I know this isn't very good but I didnt mean to keep this going, either way, I hope you enjoy! Please PLEASE let me know what you think. I love y'all (also I tried to tag everyone who requested a pt.2) 🤍

@bleuatlas @spedermannmorales @luujjvi @buddhapooksrealwife @denuparxoume @archiviststar @saturncodedstarlette @teddyitalia @dasichaconne @xoxobabe @soilmayo @kingofthemfingpirates @autumn-hiraeth @moomooooosworld @millerworld @toezies @casmosmoon @mayyasposts @simpdevil66 @prettygirlthingz-222 @nevillesbestie @cur1yfics @nyxisdreaming @buddhapooksrealwife @idont-really-know @skdnnssn @nae4chips

Harry meets the Mauraders fanfic recs

Ok, so this list was born after I read the beautiful fic called The Devil’s White Knight. It’s about Harry traveling to an alternative universe where Voldemort was killed in his youth, where his parents are alive and his whole life played out differently. He still has his memories though, and a whole lot of trauma, so he goes through a journey of getting to know a family that loves him unconditionally while struggling with everything else.

I was obsessed to say the least. I started looking for similar fics that gave me the same feelings and that explored Harry’s trauma and power as the key to Voldemort’s defeat, and how he fit into his new life. Thse are some I enjoyed a lot.

- [ ] Devils White Knight: 65k, complete: Please give it a try. https://archiveofourown.org/works/6854605/chapters/15646567

- [ ] To make it better: 175k, incomplete: It’s Drarry, Wolfstar and Jegulus. How beautiful is that? It explores Harry’s mental health and his alcohol addiction post war. Honestly breathtaking. https://archiveofourown.org/works/39312627/chapters/98377947

- [ ] In Another Life (I would make you stay): The Potters are from Pakistan. Harry’s alter ego stays in his mind like an annoying Jiminy Cricket. He has a little brother. 112k, complete: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19903207/chapters/47142952

- [ ] Across the Universe: 3k one shot told from James’ point of view. It’s a shame its not longer, this one hits all those sweet spots for me. https://m.fanfiction.net/s/4180686/1/Across-the-Universe

- [ ] To be Human: 80k, incomplete: In the middle of Bill and Fleur’s wedding Harry is called into another dimension by suspicious forces. https://archiveofourown.org/works/47583439/chapters/119924326

- [ ] Potter by any other name: 85k, complete: After the war Auror Harry gets in the middle of an attack on Diagon Alley and suddenly appears in front of Auror Mad-Eye Moody and Auror James Potter. He lies about his name and decides to help them. The family feels were strong on this one. https://archiveofourown.org/works/39836340/chapters/99738360

- [ ] The Incalculable Power: 76k, incomplete: So so so SO good, Draco and Harry travel back in time to the Marauder’s time in Hogwarts. They are intrigued by the new transfer students. https://archiveofourown.org/works/28632333/chapters/70181604

- [ ] Stunning Shifts: 106k, incomplete: During a publicity stunt, Harry and five others are sent to another world where a well timed Stupefy made all the difference. As Harry looks for his peers and a way home, another Harry investigates the odd arrival of his doppelganger. https://archiveofourown.org/works/552828/chapters/985108

- [ ] You’re somebody else: 54k, incomplete: Harry escapes Malfoy Manor and appears in the middle of the Potter’s home. He is freaked out to say the least. https://archiveofourown.org/works/36528937/chapters/91094224

Let me know if you’re intersted in more recommendations! I’ve been reading a few similar fics.

Heres my rant about Amethio age discussion and why I think the age range excuse is stupid. I should probably keep this out of the main tag, but I'm tired, sick, and angry, so idc.

Big really angry rant under the line.

So please can anyone explain to me why everyone thought that VAs comment about Amethio being a teen means hes between 13-19 and also 100% CAN be a 19 years old?

Cause English says that a teen is between 13 and 19? Well we all know that English has a lot of stupid stuff in it, so doesnt really count. Plus, quick reminder, this is anime. Japan. The meaning behind teenager could be very different here.

The difference between 13 and 19 years old is so contrast that giving Amethio this range in the first place is moronic. A 13 years old still needs to ask their daddy to go out with their friends. 19 years old already expected to pay taxes, move out of the house, is probably already on a antidepressants.

And the thing is, Amethio doesnt even act like a 19 years old! He acts like a 14 years old emo that tries his very best to look serious and is desperate for attention.

The whole his beef with Friede is a big ass example of this, that Anime just shoves into your face! Amethio becames irrated immediately after Friede stops giving attention to him, everything in his actions screams "Take me seriously!" He wants to be seen as a professional serious trainer by someone who has authority [ Friede ] and is hurt when it doesnt happen. Its literally how neglected children act.

Also the whole excuse with "B-but hes working with Explorers and has his own subordinates that he commands" GUESS WHO ALSO A MINOR BUT IS A BOSS OF A SHIP? ZUKO. The literal icon of redemption arcs. He also was casted away in the age of 13 and had a whole small army under his command. Does that make him an adult? NO. Both Amethio and Zuko are clearly special, thats why they both are forced into a weapon by their respective parential abusers [ Ozai / Gibeon ], and given some special privileges to make it seem that thse abusers love them, when in fact they are just using them.

He doesnt look like a 19 years old either! His body type barely resembles one of Friede or Spinel, both being a clear cut adults. And before someone says "Well I think that Friede looks 20 and that Amethio is just a really twigy guy" no hes bloody not! Reminder, this is pokemon, we have Lusamine and Cyrus that look like 20 and 40, but actually the opposite. And the thing is, Amethio closely resembles Silver with his body! Whos, yk, A CANONICAL 13 YEARS OLD.

What is more hysterical to me is when the Interviews AND Anime itself start to make parallels between Amethio and the kid Trio, whos, yk, OBVIOUSLY KIDS. Like- in both interviews before the big arcs the boy was compared to Liko & Roy [ And Dot, by extension. ] Amethio was literally called a kid alongside the kid Trio, [ One of the kids that still havent found their dream ] which not only makes him a minor, but also puts him the same age group with Liko, Roy and Dot!

And Anime situation is even more comedic. Khem khem. Literally an episode that got out not so long ago, 44. Amethio is called a spoiled brat by Sango [ Which already makes him a kid, but alas ]. Guess who was also called a spoiled kid? LIKO. BY MOLLIE IN THE ABROLIVA EPISODE. Liko, whos canonically we seen as a child child in the episode 18, was called the same thing as Amethio. I get that Anime tries to make parallels between them in general, but that doesnt matter to me now. The most important thing is - they are both viewed as a kids. Yk. MINORS.

Ending this, I'll say - Amethio is a barely 14, maybe at maximum 15, and he is sure is not a 19 years old. I'm sure hes in the same age bracket as Liko, Roy and Dot.

Also AmeFriede is the worst ship that deserves its own place in hell, alongside AmeSpinel. I hate both of these. They are bad from all perspectives.

[ Also, this is the angriest I felt lately, so I wont probably post any other rants like that. This is just me being beaten down by flu and projecting my anger towards this shitty and stupid "discussion". ]

Lil rant

Why do so many people make suns issues seem like nothing? I see much people constantly saying: "sun just has [insert issues]". No. Sun has alot more than that. His life was made a living hell because of who? Moon. Sun had to see the murders, clean them up, feel pain with every moons move when he took control, fight for control and god knows what more. That has been going on for what? More than 9-10 years (Sun confirmed from a year long episode that hes tehnically 9 years old). Don't get me wrong, moon has trauma from it too, having to deal with a killcode, being trapped in the mindscape without his body ect. Though, people are still dismissing suns trauma from this. Sun was TERRIFIED. He kept begging moon, but it didn't help. Some people think that its alright because sun still had confidence and was happy after they seperated and that ISNT correct. This piece of trauma gave sun a big affect on him. Such as being afraid of the dark. It may not seem too bad, but just imagine what was going on in suns mind when it was dark. It doesn't matter how much of a "stupid" fear is that, it still has a reasoning on why its there. After seperation, he also got abused by moon. Moon would always threaten him when sun made a joke. Especially with the whacking stick. The whacking stick was seen as a joke and it wasnt serious in many eyes, though just imagine being in suns shoes. You're making jokes like siblings do and oh! Guess what. You get threatened and hit for it. See what im trying to say here? Moon also used to put sun down alot. That may be normal in a sibling relationship, I have to admit that. Yet, sun eventually started believing those words because of others who would do the same. And when moon was doing the same, sun started believing in that. Sun probably also started being convinced by it since everytime he tried to help, he couldnt. This obviously led to this sort of mindstate. Whenever sun was talking about his issues,moon would ignore them and replace it with his own (Episode example:sun and moon BREAK UP in VRCHAT or whatever the name was). Sun always had to take care of moon and moons issues too. sun felt like he was useless so what other better was to cope than to help others so you feel useful. This is extremely unhealthy. Sun forgot to help himself. Plus, people always push suns feelings to the side. For an example, monty said that sun would get over it and that it was just a phase. Moon was too scared to go talk to sun! And guess what. Sun went out to kill eclipse! He also gaslighted and manipulated sun into doing what HE wants. For an example, you know when sun was in that one state of mind when he went to kill eclipse? Instead of trying to help sun with feelings and stuff, HE LOCKED SUN INTO A BUNKER WHERE THE ARGURMENT HAPPEND, and put a magic box giving sun barely room to stand. Because he wanted sun to be like hes "supposed to be", the voice of reason. See whats wrong with this? He also would pressure sun into telling him things sun didn't wanna talk about. Example, july 16th. In the argurment, he started pressuring sun into telling him what happend until sun actually did. Another example, when sun killed bloodmoon, he also started pressuring sun into telling him what actually happend, though, sun didn't do so that time. This aint a way to deal with thse kind of situations. If someone doesn't wanna talk about something, we shouldn't force them. Yet people are still so confused on why sun doesn't open up! I wonder why! Do we need a damn detective for that. I see people saying that its because earth and moon are basically strangers, althought it really isnt. Sunny thinks everything is his fault. He thinks eclipse existing is his fault, even if sun wasnt the one who put a goddamn left behind code. Its moons fault. Sure, he didnt know that would happen, even so what did he think was going to happen. "Omg it'll be such a good idea if I put a left behind code that i dont even know what it is!!" Like please. Who knows what that leech- I MEAN. Eclipse said to him.

Its no big suprise sunny turned out this way

Hey! I saw your reply to that anon ask about mandalorian, and i gotta say i agree with your view. There is something different in season 3 that i couldnt really explain, but you managed to put it into words. The past seasons feel character driven, while this season is more plot driven.

Honestly, i didnt have high expectations, because the ending of season 2 feels conclusive, so i dont know what theyre going to do after that. And when they said that din wont be the main focus of season 3, i felt a bit sad about it haha. I was thinking that maybe we're gonna explore more of din's identity crisis or something like that. But uhhhh idk. I have thoughts and emotions that i cant put into words. I hope you understand what im saying here lmao

Y'know, in hindsight - and can I really say so when we still have an episode left of Season 3, a whole ass Season 4, and however many seasons left until the Disneyfied Thrawn Trilogy Movie? - I feel comfortable saying that Din's story should've ended in Season 2 and he never should've gotten the Darksaber. I also want to argue that he got the Darksaber because Favloni did have plans for him, specifically, until something (Ahsoka and the Thrawn Trilogy and a movie) happened that made them decide to pivot hard into propping up Bo-Katan, whitewashing and sanitizing her backstory, and giving her all of Din's possible storylines. I mean, what did she really do over a season that made her better than Din, who lost everything saving Grogu from Gideon and finding a Jedi who could take him in?

Din was left alone on the bridge of Gideon's cruiser with Bo-Katan and Koska. He is truly alone. Does he follow them back to Bo-Katan's fleet, a CotW among others who don't trust him and his covert? Does he start his search for the Armorer and survivors of Nevarro? Din showed his face to another living being. What does his crisis of faith look like? We saw a glimpse of that in TBOBF; he wasn't doing too hot and then he was banished from his covert and told hwo to atone for his sins. We could've had a multi-episode arc following his journey to Mandalore and visiting the history of Mandalore and its desecration by the Empire. We could have seen him waver in his faith, struggling between what he believed and what he experienced and all the ways they intersect and conflict. Din won the Darksaber in combat. He now holds an ancient Mandalorian Jedi weapon that the Mandalorian diaspora now say marks him as Mand'alor (or the best candidate for Mand'alor). Does he grow into this role using his experience and skills earned as a bounty hunter and his covert's provider, or does he choose to surrender it to somebody else because he never wanted and still does not want the power and authority that comes with the title? Does he ever see Grogu again? Is Grogu doing well? How will they reunite? Well, TBOBF answered all those questions and we just have to accept they're back together at the start of Season 3.

Thse are just some of so many potential character-driven and character-centric stories that I'm never seeing in canon now. He's been wallflowered, pushed into the background, Bo-Katan's newest and biggest supporter in her so-called redemption arc even though you wouldn't fucking know that her redemption arc maybe should've included some mention of what she fucking did in the Clone Wars and the fucking Season 3 logo features Din and Grogu front and center.

(A lot of newer merch I see at the Disney Store, Heroes & Villains, Her Universe, etc. now feature multiple Mandalorians and Mandalorian helmets, so maybe that was a giveaway that we are following more Mandalorians now... and I am still forever struggling to find decent Din Djarin merch that puts him front and center. Fuck me, I guess)

I truly wonder what kind of Season 3 we could've gotten if Favloni, Kennedy, and Disney decided not to MCU-fy Filoni's precious darlings, if we were allowed to follow Din the way we did in the first two seasons. You could bring him back to the covert without losing him to the crowd. You could have him cross paths with Bo-Katan again and have her play a more significant role in his journey(s) without taking all of the spotlight.

I did have high expectations after Season 2, Anon, but once TBOBF came out, i realized I was fucked. And, well. Here we are.

The Type Of Father Pete Is

This is just a silly headcannon of Pete on how he would be a father to his kid am not totally accurate with some things but others I am this is how I see him with his kid and what he does so be kind ok I am just doing this for fun plus I don't see alot of my favorite man Pete in alot of headcannons.

Pete is the Funny and Protective Dad

+ Pete does Dad Jokes with his kids which is a pun that comes as a one liner and or a question and answer so when Pete does this he tells his jokes with sincere humorous intent to make his kids laugh.

+ Pete loves his kids dearly so if let's say someone is being rude o no he won't let that slide he be sure to give them a good scolding and lecture.

+ Pete develops a close nurturing relationship with his children so he has to have clear guidelines for his expectations and explain to them their reasons associated with disciplinary actions disciplinary methods are used as a way of support instead of punishment not only his children have input into goals and expectations but his children are also frequent and appropriate levels of communication between him and his children In general this parenting style leads to the healthiest outcomes for children but requires a lot of patience and effort on both parties which Pete wants.

+ Pete can be warm and nurturing while maintaining high expectations and standards for his children he balances thse two quite well.

+ Pete develops a close nurturing relationship with his children Pete has clear guidelines for their expectations not only can his children have input into goals and expectations but there are also frequent and appropriate levels of communication between him In general this parenting style leads to the healthiest outcomes for children but requires a lot of patience and effort on both parties which is Pete is good at in experiences with children.

+ Pete is firm assertive and consistent while not harsh rigid punitive or restrictive so Pete is authoritative so he gives his children firm limits but try to explain their actions to teach his children values morals and goals he will use positive parenting strategies to teach critical thinking and reinforce positive responsible behavior Pete is the type of parent that cares about his children’s well being and respect them so Pete and children tend to develop close and healthy relationship there bonded.

+ Pete encourages his children to be independent but still places limits and controls on their actions.

+ Pete means well but he can be to protective or sometimes embarrasses his children or tell very long stories of his good old days in the 70s how was the best tennis player or tell stories about his sponsorships or funny stories about his old friend Gerry Pete just is a goof ball who loves to talk when he can so he can't help it some people find him annoying but his children don't even if he's sometimes embarrassing they love him and expect him for him.

what would you think of "Let It Happen" and "New Person, Same Old Mistakes", both by Tame Impala for Hal Jordan

like hear me out, both songs have strong Parallax Hal vibes. like in "Let It Happen" : /It's always around me, all this noise/ /But not nearly as loud as the voice saying/ /Let it happen, let it happen/ /(It's gonna feel so good)/ /Just let it happen, let it happen/

now this could be for after the bug retcon, but it could also fit with the loss of Coast City weighing on his mind. In GL 1990 #46, Hal literally says that even before he sees the crater, he hears them screaming.

there is also : /All this running around/ /I can't fight it much longer/ /Something's trying to get out/ /And it's never been closer/ /If my take-off fails/ /Make up some other story/ /But if I never come back/ /Tell my mother I'm sorry/

sdfvgbhnj. I'm totally normal about thses songs and this man. NOw the first half also works for the bug retcon, but the part about /If my take-off fails/? Reminds me of that one comic where Hal is all "If I die flying this plane, they can take the money out of my life insurance. " which wow honey. man is on a mission.

Also you cannot tell me that if Hal's mother was still alive and he died as GL, he would not want someone to make up a story about it. but that's just my opinion on it. really this whole song is great imo for Hal and his character and here are the lyrics to it.

now onto "New Person, Same Old Mistakes" : /I can just hear them now/ /"How could you let us down?"/ /But they don't know what I found/ /Or see it from this way around/ /Feeling it overtake/ /All that I used to hate/ /Wonder what if we trade/ /I tried but it's way too late/ /All the signs I don't read/ /Two sides of me can't agree/ /When I breathe in too deep/ /Going with what I always longed for/

this fits him for the same reasons as above but also Coast City was a place of many ties and laced with history for him. Coast City was where he spent his childhood and a good portion of his adult life. He always found himself leaving it and coming back for some reason or another. But after it's destruction? He can never return home, however much he wishes he could. Coast City was his youth, his golden years, and its death was his undoing. /Feel like a brand new person/ /(But you make the same old mistakes)/ /I don’t care I’m in love/ /(Stop before it’s too late)/ /Feel like a brand new person/ /(But you make the same old mistakes)/ /I finally know what is love/ /(You don’t have what it takes)/ /(Stop before it’s not too late)/ /(I know there’s too much at stake)/ /(Making the same mistakes)/ /And I still don’t know why it’s happening/ /(Stop while it’s not too late)/ /And I still don’t know/

Am I sensing a theme here? Hal stole the power from the central power battery, he fought the entirety of the Corps, he named himself Parallax for god's sake! He went against his moral code to avenge Coast City against the Cyborg-Superman, he went against the Guardians, who he considered masters before this (which, whoo boy is not okay) ,and yet he knows what he's doing is wrong. He knows he shouldn't and he's doing it anyways, whether you want to involve the bug in this or not, it's Hal! pretty much the rest of the song is the narrator trying to justify their actions to the listener and it reads as the world's most unreliable narrator ever. The lyrics are here. im so normal for writing this. this is basically the start of an essay icant- how did I write all this

Okay first of all I love you for sending this ask and I'm sorry I took so long to reply

Then, yeah, I agree that the songs have intense Hal - Parallax vibes, though I have to say to me they're more 90s Parallax than bug retcon. It could be that I am biased, who knows?

(I'm 100% biased)

These lines: "I can just hear them now, how could you let us drown" are particularly poignant when it comes to 90s Hal pre-Parallax (but leading up to it) because YES. He is absolutely haunted by the screams of the people in the city dying. He's haunted by his inability to save them. He's haunted by all the choices that led to him being unable to save them.

(From The Last Will and Testament of Hal Jordan)

Also... "I tried but it's way too late"?

(Green Lantern 1990 #50)

Chapter 10

"I thought he was an intruder!" He tried justifying himself, still holding the axe.

"Look at him! How could this skinny boy hurt you in any way?" Maria kept shouting at the man.

Piero looked at Kevin up and down and gave an angry look at Maria.

"What's going on down here?" Oscar asked halfway trought the stairs.

Piero looked at the man and shouted:"why do you keep bringing these people on our farm!".

Oscar frowned "you're in no place to judge, also why shouldn't i bring them over? They have done nothing wrong..."

Piero became red and pointed at jonah, who was sitting on an armchair "this one reeks of alchohol and is barely awake most of thse time" he then pointed at Kevin "look at this one instead! Hair longer than a girls... and those terrible clothes... don't make me start".

He then got close to Kevin and started shaking him vigorously, he didn't have the time to say anything else before Oscar punched him in the face.

Piero fell to the ground but soon he punched Oscar back, Kevin was panicking, he had never seen two people fight before.

So he ran upstairs, and entered the first room he came across.

There he saw Clarabelle sitting on her bed softly sobbing.

He quickly composed himself and asked her what was wrong.

"I miss my mom..." she confided.

Thinking about it Kevin had never seen her or heard Oscar mention her "where is she?" He asked.

"She died shortly after my birth"

Kevin froze, that explained everything, "I'm so sorry" he then wishpered.

Clarabelle put her face in her hands and kept sobbing.

Kevin lightly patted her on the back, not knowing what to say.

She began explaining:" i was at my friend Pollys house and seeing how she interacted with her mom made me sad...am i weird for this?"

"It's not weird... but think about it, at least you have a dad who cares about you...i don't have that luck" Kevin tried conforting her

She finally looked up "my dad seems to have forgotten her, he's found someone else, i found some love letters in his nightstand... but it didn't say who they were from"

"I don't think he's forgotten her, he's just ready to love again, maybe this woman is very nice and would love to be your step mother too" Kevin reassured her.

She sighed "i guess you're right..."

Suddenly a loud groan was heard from downstairs "you stay here!" Kevin recommended himself before going to see what was going on.

Downstairs a horrific scene was awaiting him: Jonah was holding Oscar, who was shielding his visibly broken nose, where blood was dripping from.

Piero was still standing there, his hands still forming fists, he had a smug smile on his face and instilled fear into Kevin.

What my OCs think of the canon cast: Maria Nara

Thought I'd make a series of posts detailing my OCs' thoughts on the canon cast, mainly because I thought it'f add more depth to them.

I'll wait on Crevette and Gustave OS until after the S4 finale because that changes some things, so for now I'll do thse for Maria, Clove and Pizzawife.

Maria's thoughts on...

Peppino: "Honestly, seeing his dedication to his hard work and nervousness at even the slightest thing going wrong reminds me so much of myself. Plus he forgave me for that pizza order I gave him, so I'd say he's a good guy."

Gustavo: "I admire his adventurous spirit. Most gnomes tend to keep to themselves in the forest from what I've heard. I do wish he'd put more effort into improving his driving though..."

Brick: *audibly struggles to hold in cuteness overload*

Mr. Stick: "I haven't really talked to him much, but he seems like the type of person to hide his heart of gold under a layer of meanness. My boss is the same way."

Pepperman: "I'd say we're friends. Yeah, we like to mess with each other and argue a lot, but if anyone seriously hurt him I'll have some words with them one way or another."

The Vigilante: "Well, what can I say? He's kind, passionate, has impressive skills in several kinds of firearms, won't back down from a challenge... what's not to love about him? If the agency had known him as a person at first, I wonder how things would have turned out? Either way, I'm ultimately happy things did turn out how they did. I don't think anyone could make me happier."

The Noise: "He's... a nuisance. I don't even know why I put up with him. To be fair, I don't know anyone who does know, aside from Noisette. So I guess he's our nuisance."

Noisette: "I can see why Vigert is such good friends with her. Most of the time her mere presence brightens up the room and she may be a little scatterbrained, but I can tell she tries her best. Her cooking gives me nightmares, though."

Fake Peppino: "Bruno's an... interesting person, to say the least. I can tell he means well, but... it's a bit hard to understand what goes on in his thought process at times. Not to mention his violent outbursts when enraged. Still, I do think he is a good person, despite his... unique character."

Pizzahead: "I already disliked him after hearing about his hand in the Tower incident, but when me and the others faced him in the forest, that dislike turned into outright hate. Petrifying Peppino, threatening to murder Vigert and then petrifying both him and me... If I knew where he was right now I'd teach him a lesson!"

WELCOME TO PART 2 : THE ULTIMATE SLEEP AWAKE TALENTSWAP ! BEFORE YOURE EYES NOW !!!!! i have . SO much to say about this its mostly me ranting about colours . be WARE !

EDIT I FORGOT TO TAG VENUS @chihirolovebot​ HEYY LOL

typical yelling below ! and Lots of it ! open at your own risk

brought to you by : my mikuification project ! ive spent so much fucking time on that Please . please . ill upload sdr2 when i finish thh and im almost done with it PLEASE !!

OKAY . this took a while . not nearly as long as i expected it to THANK GOD but still a bit . hands downt he most DIFFICULT part of this project was the colour choice .

first of all : these are ordered by the danganronpa v3 wiki character page , which is in alphabetical order by first name except for akamatsu who is at the top .

SECOND OF ALL : the red . physicists colour palette consists of the primay colours of white and olive green , with the secondary colour being black and the accent being gold . fine , right ? WELL its fine for a simple design like the regular physicist , where a 3rd dominant colour isnt needed . Howver most of the rest of thse designs GREATLY needed that 3rd , and i had a bitch of a time trying to figure out what exactly to make it . it took 10 minutes and a colour palette randomizer to give me the most Obvious solution of RED . Their eyes are literally red . How did i not think of that .

anyways youll also see a little but ofyellow in there too - my friend actually suggested that . the yellow on the artist look was already there when i showed this to it and its feedback was that the yellow seeme a little jarring compared to the rest and to add a little more and i said Wowie okay ! the yellow isnt as prevalent as i wanted but its fine as is i think ! other than that i tried to keep the dominant colours to green , black  and red while preserving the general Colour blocking fromthe og . aka white shirt , green bottoms , black shoes . it didnt always work that way but it did most of the time !

OH and i also changed the colours here and there depending on what looked best in the moment . mainly astronauts purple graphic shirt and anthropologists brown shorts . originally astronauts socks were purple but that friend from earlier said it clashed so i switched it over [: the main colour on any one design depends entirely on what i thought looked best when i was colouring .

OK NO MORE COLOUR TALK . my favs are absolutely magician , detective , maid and anthropologist . Theyre so skrunkly .

idk if its obvious but i was kinda running out of steam while designing the last 2 , aka the aikido master and cosplayer . the way i did this was doing the lineart first all in one go and Then colouring them all soi dont get too hung up on one specific part , and designing those last 2 was So hard . some of these talents Were nightmares trying to design for , because the whole point behind this was 1: to make sleep awake fanart and 2: to practice outfit design while keeping the characters personality , tastes and colour palette . some talents dont really fit the reader , like maid , assassin or leader ( supreme leader is so weird of a talent name btw ) and i had to alter their persoality a bit to make it work . where others were just , kind of . not very tangible ? or have no specific visual references to go off of like entomologist , anthropologist or adventurer . so i got a little creative i guess .

THE DETAIL NOTES MY BELOVED !

- if it isnt obvious I have a very clear idea of what readers fashion sense would be . aka Minimal layering , SHORTS !!!! , gloves when possible , tall socks <3 and comfort above all else .

- most designs have a clearly visible pocket or pouch where their notepad is . usually the notepad is visible ! AND everyone DOES have the ring . the only 3 places i put them were necklace , finger and as an earring

- THE PLAID !!! designing the leader was already hard enough bc itsone of those non tangible talents . So i said What if ouma and reader had matching freak outfits and used oumas beta designs as reference ! the plaid is supposed to be readers checker print , and its onlyused in this and the adventurer . also i just really love berets

- MAGICIAN HAS A CARD EARRING AND IM OBSESSED WITH IT . its also onthe gay ear SMILE !

- maid .... was hard . i actually had 2 different versions of that fit and had to have my friends choose for me </3 heres the alt version sketch

FOR NOW ? i think thats all . my brain is running on empty rn bc im writing this the day before posting like idk half an hour after typing up the sprites post . i might come back and add more later if i feel like it but for now im done .

as always , thank you for reading ! ( u can really see where i got my physicist music taste headcanon from )

I havent read back over this and typed it out at midnight. ✌🏻😶

save yourself, ill hold them back—as interpreted by an angsty bitch

Where the song opens story wise: just off the back of Party Poison, busting the Kobra Kid and Jet-Star out of Batt City, this song is about the Fabulous Four breaking back out of the city itself, and the firefight that breaks out at the wall. This brings back Poison’s memories of their and Kobra’s escape from Battery City years ago. 

Are you all ready where you are?

Are you all ready where you are?

Are you all ready where you are?

{Referencing fighting and stuff}

Na na na na na

Na na na na na

Na na na na na

Na na na na na

{The killjoy’s general nonsense esp towards bli. Na is just a noise, not even a proper word. They sing to be fun and annoying half the time.}

I hope you're ready for a firefight

'Cause the devil's got your number tonight

(They say!)

"We're never leavin' this place alive"

{Hugh stakes high profile trips to Battery City are very often fatal. Thses are the mocking words thrown at the fab four.}

But if you sing these words, we'll never die

Get off the ledge and drop the knife

Not a victim of a victim's life

Because this ain't a room full of suicides

We're believers, I believe tonight

{this is party poison, taunting back. Again “if we sing these words we’ll never die”, the killjoys will rebel in every way possible, even if its jist their faint voice drowning in the static. But they will fight until they have nothing left. They will fight when they have nothing left. Its not a room full of suicides. They’re only leaving this place in the ways they choose, they’re believers.}

We can leave this world, leave it all behind

We can steal this car if your folks don't mind

We can live forever

If you've got the time

{this is poison remembering how they and Kobra left, the city in a firefight and cloud of dust. Children thinking even then that they might live forever, leaving everything behind them in exhaust fumes}

Na na na na na

Na na na na na (If you save yourself tonight)

Na na na na na

Na na na na na (If you save yourself tonight)

{sometimes saving yourself means putting your life in someone else’s filthy palms. Sometimes rebellion is just screaming at the top of your lungs.}

I'll tell you all how the story ends

Where the good guys die and the bad guys win

(Who cares?)

{anyone in the desert know this wont just end. That theres only so much of a difference that they can make against BLi. And it will never be enough to save everyone, or even anyone. They will all die. But if they can anyone help at all, thats made it all worth it.}

This ain't about all the friends you made

But the graffiti they write on your grave

{Killjoys will remember the smallest of graces.}

For all of us who've seen the light

Salute the dead and lead the fight (Hail, hail!)

{theyve been throught some Shit}

Who gives a damn if we lose the war?

Let the walls come down, let the engines roar

{Best case scenario, they will make change. Theyve still tried even if they fail}

We can leave this world, leave it all behind

We can steal this car if your folks don't mind

We can live forever

If you've got the time

I'm the only friend that makes you cry

You're a heart attack in black hair dye

{theyve all got trauma ig… poison and ghoul became inseparable, bonded by blood and jagged edges, theyre the only ones who have been able to heal the other enough to function.}

So just save yourself and

I'll hold them back tonight

Are y'all ready where you are at?

If you save yourself tonight

('Cause we're comin' for you)

Can you save yourself tonight?

{jet and kobra have to hold together enought for poison and ghoul to get them out}

Right now!

'Cause I'll hold them back!

We can leave this world, leave it all behind

We can steal this car if your folks don't mind

We can live forever

If you've got the time

(You motherfucker!)

You're the broken glass in the mornin' light

Be a burnin' star if it takes all night

{the fab four are all so fucked up (and they know it) only people like them would find hope in people like them. You have to be pretty fucked up to find hope in shattered mirror}

So just save yourself and

I'll hold them back tonight

Na na na na na

Na na na na na (If you save yourself tonight)

Na na na na na

Na na na na na (Can you save yourself tonight?)

So you all don't know me truly speaking I don't know myself either I know I want to become rich but how I don't know that

So if you're confused what are you reading don't doubt your reading skill I very confused while writting this

I heard that Journaling helps to sort out your thoughts so I guess let do it here on Tumblr

So I'm going to be anonymous here

Right now as if today life is confusing I have enrolled for a medical school admission test prep classes but I am not sure if I want to do that I did it because it seems like the simplest answer but now when it's due date is coming closer I am panicking

I'm in school too it's 12th standard I'm going to be 18 by the time I pass out but everyone will be 17 only I'm already year behind I have big dreams with loads of money a beautiful and intelligent wife impeccably outstanding four kids who are overachiever in every field so am I but only in dreams I'm no where near it in reality I'm scared I will even disappoint myself can you believe that I'm not good enough even for me in my imaginations all of them have dreams success and love I don't have that I don't think I ever will

I also think I'm turning atheist I am s Muslim by the way but between all thse chaos in life I turned to him but still I didn't find calm I was so disappointed in myself when I failed to be on the path for more than 2-3 days so stopped all together

While writting these I'm constantly thinking is really how I feel or it's my best foot forward strategy I'm checking myself at each step if this is me but is me IDONTKNOW

I'm not talking to anyone at home these past w days after a fight with my father because I screamed he slapped me 3 times while I was trying to eat so flipped my plate which was infront of me so mom told my father to slap me again so I stopped talking to her

You know I continously want to cry hard so whatever is in me come out but it's not happening I am searching crying people on YouTube watching sad movies but still nothing

I used to listen to romance audiobooks and stuff now i have stopped enjoying them suddenly maybe because when female protagonist describe the male hero he always so good successful a winner in everything and muscular over 6ft ans d all brilliant I get jealous if them because I'm not like them maybe never will I 5ft7in I was going to write only infront of it but I changed my mind when summer vacation started in June I decided to better myself I started working out sleeping early watching joe rogan alex huberman and all other but then fell out of it . When I got into it deep I realized I need money to become muscular jacked and all then started watching iman gadzhi then realized I m not capable for it then stopped exercising too

I thought I have mental problem you know I walk while listening to music and start creating different scenarios sometimes when come out of it I feel maybe I was a saying it out loud or maybe mumbling and my family and people think I am talking to myself or turning my neck to talk to someone who isn't there so yeah there's that too

I'm not doing good in school too I used to be fairly good student but now I'm going below average I m scared of being poor and helplessness you know ibdont want to be that I want a big house good earning a bigger dick maybe I didn't told you all I am a male so yeah I'm a currently 17 year old male

I watched a reel in which I came across the phrase dolcè far niènte phrase its Italian I think it means sweetness of doing nothing so I named my account after that

I have more thing but maybe some other time in another post

I just going to the post option when I saw gif option I clicked on it searched dick first and it showed a bunny and then I searched penis then it showed this?here? Yeah nothing

I am ashamed 😅😅

TOKREV SPOILER

Ch.259⚠️

So, this whole chapter just about introduction of Taiju Shiba as 6th Captain Division of 2nd Gen of Toman. ( take a guess of who potentially become vice captain of 6th Division of 2nd Gens Toman)

The saddest thing about this, Mitsuya had been predicted their half-lose againt Kantou Manji Gang, there's Invincible Mikey, doesnt matter how many people against him in fight, ge always win. But it totally in different meaning when Mitsuya says it.

Whole thing about fighting former friend, not to mention, fighting former friend in your together built up gang, never been easy. Mitsuya might says, Mikey as his "former friend" because honestly , that's the reason why Mitsuya in the first place accepted Takemichi's favour, but there's no further explaination why he wanted to fight Mikey, his former friend, at this point, i just wamted to assume that he couldnt afford losing other friend after what happened to Draken.

He knew, he couldnt fight Mikey, not only physically but emotionally too, it was the saddest thing happened to any of us, fighting your own friend. He cant fight his own friend, not how Draken involved in death beacuse he pursued the same path to revive Mikey. I could says, that's probably why Mitsuya helped Takemichi, he wanted Draken's wish of Mikey comes true, save him.

Helped ? They all looks so good here. AND Hanma looks so edible, i could "munch" his cheek. Did Hanma laughed at Sanzu or he just more exciting how certain people make a suprise comeback ? Poor Sanzu, btw. I love him, please no bad thing happened. Oh wait, Wakui might forgotten something. I thought Mikey have a fight with Angry but he did have some time to react Taiju's suprose appearance ? So, who did win between those two ? There were no fight scenes, yet or absolutely Mikey win? Hanma will fight against Kokonui after this ?

Im nost sure what these legends saw in Mikey. Yeah, sure they have to be loyal towards their leader no matter what but why it has to be Mikey. I wiuld says that, they love Mikey, just like how they love Shinichiro. Or they just wanted to protected Mikey as they cant protected Shinichiro, but i dont think Taiju have an intention to face Mikey, he just opened ya path for Takemichi. We will soon get Mikey vs Takemichi and that would be the most heartbreaking scenes, if Mikey violently punched Takemichi. Before these, Mikey always helped Takemichi in every fight with his beaten up body, and the only thing that can prevented him from death was Mikey appearance to save his days.

Im like Taiju, to witness how Takemichi gonna take Mikey down, whether it would be physically or emtionally, i means, in physically of course Takemichi will lose but at the certain point, we still doesnt know Takemichi's real strength is, how he can resist those crucial punched, i dont think Takemichi "weak" physically, i think how his traumatic past of being bullied constantly got him drifted away.

But we'll see, the fight between them.

To the death ? Someone about to die ? Taiju is violent person but not sure how violent thses legends were. Or the prediction of Waka would come true ? Hopefully, nope. The next chapter, gonna focus more on Black Dragon.

Isnt it mind blowing,how ex-Black Dragon members have a moment in this fight, final arc and the reason of Toman exist in the first place was Black Dragon.

Kudos to Wakui honestly, he did the great job to connecting all the dot in TokRev.

I see how the flashbach of Mitsuya recruiting Taiju happened in thia chapter, but we still never get the real reason of Sanzu git gis scars.

Perhaps, Senju get up and have a 2nd round fight with Sanzu, and this time, Senju will deff fight against Sanzu because she knew Sanzu changed not because of her accusations but for his own doing.

Actually, the fight between Hanma and other Toman member kinda disappointing, but now, Taiju faced those legends, the fight between Mikey and Angry are still going on, Sanzu might in a lttle break after his crazy chapters or Senu will faced him for the 2nd time, and Hanma is free, just like Benkei said they are not gonna let them reached Mikey, so, right before Takemichi can reached Mikey, Hanma probably intereferred in Takemichi's action, and thing about time leaping will slowly being exposed and explained, but about how Sanzu knew time leaping raised a suspicious.

Things got excited when someone that always helped you will be the one who's gonna stand up to against you.

Ok, really curiousity, how long Haitani gonna take a rest ? I miss them.

( dont start with ex-Tenjiku found Kakucho's condition, it just so sad :(( know that Ran couldnt say the last word to his most liked person). Plus, he's a sentimental and poetic person.

I actually do have Ran's fic that still going on, i wrote it last Saturday and predicted it would finished in that day of the evening too but in the middle of i wrote it, but my friend invited me to play a game, which i almost spending my 5 hours playing game, now, i still need those motivation to write it efficiently.

hm idk how ur gonna feel abt an ask like this but i do want to get smth off my chest & u seem p safe. feel free to delete if u want

i saw a post recently talking abt how "gay" got used as a slur a lot more than people acknowledge. and it got me thinking of my school years & how often it got thrown around.

thing is. and heres where my train of thought goes off the rails. i actually experienced the word "incest" as an attack more than the word "gay"... which. ill explain. but it really got me thinking on this whole purity culture & demonising of incest depicted in literature & yknow taking things too far with whats considered incest.

bc at the end of the day. the reason incest is illegal (mostly) is to prevent inbreeding & the health issues that come along with that. if ur not blood related then theres no problem.

and like. the reason i got called incestuous and generally ostracised was bc i was close with a boy in my year. like we dated for a week as 14 yros do. and at some point i discovered that hey. his last name is the same as my aunts and lo and behold hes my 2nd cousin thru marriage or smth. so. not incest at all.

anyway that p much ruined our friendship (& it was a friendship. i broke things off before i even knew we were related bc i just didnt feel the same way and we stayed friends for a little bit) all bc some kids couldnt let it go that we had the vaguest relation to each other. he got bullied for the rest of our school year & ive felt horribly guilty for leaving him bc i wanted to be "cool" & ended up without any close friends like we were.

sorry if thats a weird thing to put in ur inbox.

Hey, anon. I don't mind this ask. I hope you don't mind me replying publicly. (In future if you don't just say so.)

This post will be a bit long, so I'll go ahead and put it under a readmore.

TW for discussions of "gay" used in a negative way, and discussions of the use of the word "incest," and its association with child sexual abuse, though there's really nothing terribly bad here as I'm not going into detail on any of thse topics. (If you need something tagged, though, let me know.)

Now, I'm old as dirt by tumblr standards, and I remember VIVIDLY the word "gay" being used in a negative light. As a kid, I didn't really see it used as a "slur" per se, but it was used to mean something was bad.

Like, if you saw a movie that sucked, you'd say "Man, that movie was so gay." It meant something like "lame."

So obviously, it wasn't a good thing, and when I got a bit older and was explained why using the word was bad, I stopped, and fortunately most other kids did too and it mostly faded from use (in that sense) at least as far as I noticed.

(I'm not saying gay hasn't been used as a more nasty slur/word ofc, this is just my personal experience with it.)

Granted, keep in mind when I was in high school, our LGBTQ+ club was just the "Gay/Straight Alliance." Back then, it was basically, you were gay/lesbian, or you were an ally. We never talked about trans people or nonbinary people or ace/aro people. Ofc every one of those identities/kinds of people existed, but as far as my world went, they didn't. Most of my circle of friends was queer in some way, but many were closeted or semi-closeted for various reasons.

Anyway, sorry for that detour. Now, as to your incest situation. I'm sorry that happened to you. It definitely wasn't fair. You didn't have any way to know if you were related, and if/when you did it was "easy" to end the relationship. But kids are kids, and they always love to find a way to single people out, and they probably didn't really care what the actual truth was.

Even if you'd discovered having a similar name was total coincidence, I'm sure they'd still have bullied you for "incest."

I wasn't bullied for it, thankfully, but I did have a classmate in high school with the same last name as mine. My name is very common in some places, but where I lived at that time it was not, so everyone assumed we were fraternal twins. He was a nice enough guy, but I really didn't want people to think we were siblings. But no matter how many times we both explained we weren't related, no one believed us.

Sometimes, once someone makes their mind up about something, there's no changing it.

As for "abandoning" your friend because you didn't want to be left out and regretting it, I get that too. There was a guy I dated when I was around 16, and we were very passionate, but I think honestly I entered a major depressive episode and lost all interest in everything, including him, and... anyway, I regret how things ended between us even today, many, many years later. I wish I could shake my 16-year-old self and tell them not to be so cruel, but we can't change the past, only learn from it and move forward.

With regards to antis/purity culture taking incest so far, I do agree it has gotten ridiculous. As you said, the reason incest is taboo is because of inbreeding, because if your (general you) DNA is too closely related, you increase the chance of having major/significant diseases due to a lack of genetic diversity. But antis tend not to understand the WHY's behind things (since they also believe pedophilia is bad bc it's disgusting, and not because it hurts children, who become real grown adults).

But I have seen some really wild takes called incest. Like a ship from one fandom where the male and female characters are friends. A lot of people consider it "problematic" apparently, because they have a "sibling-like" relationship. They did not grow up together, they aren't related, and yet that's "incest" according to antis.

I do want to mention another reason that incest can/is considered so bad, and it's because, despite what antis may think, most sexual abuse of children comes from someone close to them in their lives, often a family member or close friend. So for a lot of people, when they think of "incest," they closely associate it with sexual abuse of a child. It's possible that's why antis get so upset about it. I don't know. But that is another aspect to it. (Ofc for you, in your past situation, you were both around the same age, so that's not the case, but that association is there.)

But, in the end, in fiction, it doesn't matter, because there are not actual children who can be conceived or harmed, and so the whole purpose behind why incest isn't allowed in many places in modern times doesn't exist.

I hope you're doing OK now, anon. Don't be to hard on yourself. A lot of people have done things when they were young teens they regret and wish they could "undo," but as long as you learned from that experience so you could become a better person than that 14-year-old version of you, I think you're doing OK.

Sending you some hugs. <3

i was recently finding out about some early access bg3 stuff, some i hadnt known before which was about Daisy which i knew was the name for the dream guardian in the files but was unaware how different it was. and it mostly got me thinking even more about the topic of sex, manipulation, and consent in the game's writing. but not from a 'oh this is well written and cool they explore this' but rather its leaned on 'was it necessary? how much of this is?'

obviously, they cut this stuff out. (going forward i will only spoil the dream guardian's dreams along with Daisy's. along with mentioning breifly the cut Baahl ending and Haarlep. and so in turn TW for topics of sexual abuse and dubcon). so if they cut it out they took whatever feedback was going on then, and i know some of that had to do with story flow.

so like. Daisy was a a character who appeared in your dreams and rather than be a voice who was trying to help you with the tadpole and destroy the Brain. They basically were always intending to not be on your side, rather they were a personification of the tadpole trying to make you give in to the transformation.

video for reference. the dream guardian/emperor from the start helps, but does have a slight betrayal, and then also a scene of sexual intimacy (which you can agree to have sex with. but regardless, the sexual suggestion is there regardless). Daisy on the other hand, isnt ever exactly "good" and again, is trying to make you lose yourself. And one method of doing so is lots of physical intimacy.

In the very first dream you have them caressing your cheek, going behind your to touch you and get close... later they slide their hand over your hips, and even later then you kiss them (depending on the outcome of hurting them or not). even if you were to give more closed off options, the character will still refer to you as "darling" and some of this intimacy still carries out anyways. in general its clear the Daisy's method of manipulation is centered around that.

so first and foremost there is the issue of Why it was removed and also Why i think it likely worked poorly for people playing, and also why i think there is an extent where this kind of writing isn't good, not even regarding thse sexual/intimate nature...

Much like with the Haarlep scene, people who didnt like it didnt like it because they felt they did not have control over a thing they were uncomfortable with. they didnt like that suddenly, their tav was having sex and had no way to escape. *yes* it is totally the point of that scene, thats what a succubus would do. and that why i think its a good scene. its a good narrative use of taking away player agency even though it is a very touchy subject... BUT reality is players dont want that to happen. even for ppl like me who liked it... a good majority of players dont want that to happen many times in an RPG. a example of a HUGE violation of players and taking away agency is the cut Baahl ending especially, but its topic were also likely a reason for its cut.

so, the dream guardian vs Daisy.. Daisy forces themself on the player hard. and while you can say things to technically deny them, fact is they still touch you inappropriately without your consent and the narrator has that issue of describing it in a way that assumes your character is enjoying it until you have an option to say something else. (they have this issue with gale's magic scene, for example imo)

on the other hand, the guardian/emperor does try to manipulate you to some extent, but not sexually in order to gain your trust. BUT when he proposes sex, it is because he has revealed himself already, and the proposition is done as a way to find your trust + most importantly it is used as a distraction from investigating further if you do just believe him. regardless of the overall writing of the emperor i do think this is a much better move of including sex with him, than being pushed into a situation with Daisy where the character is physical despite your feelings. (and story wise it was way too obvious they werent trust worthy but ya know)

alongside this topic of player agency though there is "is this necessary?" and also "is it okay that sex and physical intimacy in a negative context or forced way has come up often in this game? especially when the player lacks control?"

because actually, i think its worth thinking about. NOT if the plot or writing is good. but the writers themselves... they really pushed BG3 as being a game very open about "romances" and not shying away from sex. which is great! and i think its great they did so much of this. but the game forces sexual feelings and situations a LOT and what especially i think is the worst offender is the narrator. the narrator has been written to basically imply your character's enjoyment in multiple situations where intimacy is being offered, before you actually accept it. Again, think Gale's magic moment or Minthara's early moments in act 1.

and from a writer's position... does it need to be that way? why does it occur so often? why do so many characters thirst so openly for the player when the player often didnt push for such things? it could get to the point where the game's further relationships past friendships do just feel like they lead to sex. because i cannot think of a time where it isnt a subject to come up for romances. if youre not romancing someone in the start youll still get to hear astarion question about whether or not youll have sex at the party. and when you bundle up all this writing of sex in to the various sexual manipulation i cant help but start to feel like it is... a lot. there is a lot of sex going on here. and there are stories sometimes where having so much of that makes it feel like too much, and is not necessary.

i am a huge sex person. dont take it like im not. i love sex. i love seeing all the sex scenes. i love haarlep and i love the dream guardian and i even like the concept of the Daisy! i think its an interesting idea that just did not fit. but when is it too much? when does it start to feel inappropriate and uncomfortable? because it is almost to that extent for me when i look at the overall game. as someone who Loves Sex the way the game approached me on these things threw me off a few times, where i didnt expect it or was surprised by the narrator's implications of me.

so, thats where my brain goes with Daisy. it would not have only been inappropriate, but additionally is really hits the point of "this is way too much". to force a character onto the player who not only intends to manipulate them, but do so in the form of intimacy? its bad gameplay wise but when i see that and all the other sexual writing it starts to sour my impression of this game's writing in general. a lot of sex in video games is done for the enjoyment of the player. have good looking sex and watch it. but if you start to do that too much with it being the Bad ones-- full on proper "sex scenes" that are very much softcore porn-- i get the feeling that thats all it is about. its just about watching the sex even if its an awful scenario. but then additionally you have the Baahl scene which comes off like a shock kind of thing. a "oh god that is so fucked up and my character has been violated in a horrendous way i could not control or see coming". so now, we also had a situation where the "fucked up"-ness alongside the various uncomfortable sex scenes comes together in feeling like the writers do have more of an intent to just shock without taking all this bad stuff carefully, with additional intents being to just show sex.

we have good writing here about sex, for sure. but not all writers are working in tandem. not all writers communicate the all intentions of every scene. we got some really good writing for sex, thats completely true. but it doesnt mean there could still be issues opened up by the way it all comes together in the end like this. im not even writing this to straight up say "the writers are romanticizing manipulation and dubcon/noncon sex! there is too much sex and it means the writers only did it for the porn!"

its a rather complicated issue. trying to understand the balance and intent behind a game that does show sex as a enjoyable visual, a vessel for complex writing, but also something not always positive. still that can be shifted by the feelings that there is a point of 'too much', that the writing may control your feelings when you dont want to, and that players' feelings of being violated isnt always a good thing especially when done too much or in a way that doesnt seem necessary.

ROUTE 478 CHRONICLES; PART 3

on thursday after school the bus driver isn't here and our bus is late. all the bus drivers left already. elise says she's going to run to the bartells in the neighborhood nearby. i tell her she shouldn't because the bus is probably gonna come but she ignores me 💀the giant 7th/8th grade boy group leaves to go to starbucks but then elise comes back with a bag of haribo gummy bears. we sit down on the little ledge by our school building and eat the gummy bears. i text my dad and ask if he can pick us up if the bus doesnt arrive in like 15 minutes. he says sure so we wait. while we're eating our gummy bears a few drop on the ground so i bend over and pick them up. "psst should i throw these at the next person to walk by" i say. "YESSS" elise replies a LIL too loud.. and that's when will walks over and says hi to us. i decide not to throw them since we're somewhat friends but elise elbows me and tells me to throw them at him. she throws a gummy bear at him and i do the same. he starts crying and screaming ow and how much pain he's in 💀 then elise just 🧍‍♀️ and gives him a pineapple gummy bear. "OH THANKS!! CLEAR IS THE BEST FLAVOR!" he says and griddies away. man wtf are thse kids on. finally the bus rolls up and we get on. since everyone got picked up already only a few people are on the bus. the middle is empty, everyone is in the front while me, elise, will, hannah, avery, josi, and olive are in the back. i put the two gummy bears that bounced off will on the seat and decide to hold a contest for which flavor is better by whichever one stays up longer without falling will was right that pineapple was the best flavor because yellow fell first. i decided to stick the winning gummy bear on the window because hannah kept begging me if she could have it and plus it was funny. it was a different bus though so i dont know if it was still there or not. i leaned over and kicked it into the window. hannah was cackling. will took my waterbottle while saying fanum tax and he griddied away then he asks if we have twitch💀the bus driver was SUPER strict and there were 3 of my classmates in a seat and he screamed "this is NOT kindergarten. 2 people a seat. one of you moves or you all get kicked off." the kids got scared and moved away. wtf.. the bus driver was inexperienced because he circled the town 3 times and never got out. some kid told him he went the wrong way and he screamed "ARE YOU DRIVING OR AM I!? DO YOU HAVE THE LICENSE OR DO I!? YOU ARE SO DISRESPECTFUL. SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH." kids are shocked. my friends tristan, graham, and joe are making jokes in the front when the bus driver stops in the middle of the road and walks down the aisle to them. "YOU ARE BEING SO LOUD. QUIET DOWN. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? WE CAN HEAD BACK TO THE SCHOOL RIGHT NOW." tristan replies with "m-my name is jeff sir.." "WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME JEFF?" "j-j-j-j-just jeff sir.. my name is jeff jeff.. please.." everyone is laughing and recording. the bus driver stops and walks back to his seat. in the meantime, a kid has their foot in the aisle and he STOMPS on it and calls them a disgusting rodent. wtf man. everyone is shocked so they get off at early stops.