Steve Head-cannons~
Listen we all need some spiritual healing, and what better way to heal than to read about our adorable man-child🩵
PSA: A couple 18+ head-cannons will be at the end ;)
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Say what you want but this man is the epitome of the you fell first but he fell harder trope.
Love language is physical touch. Tell me I’m wrong, I’ll wait.
Consent, consent, consent.
His neck kisses have spiritual healing ❤️🩹
Will act heroic to kill a bug for you but screams with you when they start running.
Steve pinching your ass and saying “don’t look at me like that” when you turn around.
Steve always being the driver.
Buys you a cake after taking your first shit at his place
Definitely calls you honey, fight me.
Need your back cracked? He can do it, he’ll tell you to cross your arms, take a deep breath and lift you.
Walk him like a dog? Oh you do.
He for sure asks for a kids menu with crayons at the restaurant to play tic tac toe with you.
He’s the type of guy to say: “whoopsie daisy” when dropping something, for dustin to turn and say: “I’m sorry what?”
*Grabs you by your waist and sits you in his lap*
He definitely hit his ankles with his scooter an ungodly amount of times and never learned.
Back to epitomes- Steve🤝🏻sleeper build
Oh he definitely grabs your neck to kiss you.
Will shut you up with a kiss.
Tells Robin his back hurts at work from giving you a piggyback ride the night before, only to do it again if you ask.
Constantly analyzing you and knows if you’re not okay. (It’s sad to say he probably does it to protect himself cause he’s definitely scared you’ll eventually leave him)
Other head-cannons
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Walking through your home door and Billy smacking your ass out of nowhere saying: “I’ve been holding out alll evening”
Steve and Billy are best friends okay, they relate to each other cause they both had asshole phases in high school.
Eddie calling you ‘noodle head’ if you have curly or wavy hair
Billy asking what you want at McDonald’s only to turn around and order 3 Big Macs
Steve buying a speak and spell, and Billy calls it stupid. Only to turn around and buy one for himself.
Billy picking you up by your ankles and shaking you to get you out of your depressive state.
You and Billy going back and forth like Jess and Nick’s ‘weird’ contest on New Girl.
Billy and Steve’s dynamic is literally Schmidt and Nick on New Girl
Billy is the type of guy to have a Budweiser shirt, but turn around and say “I like Heineken better”
Billy randomly barking at men that look at you and you turn to see his mouth foaming.
Billy being a good cook.
Eddie not being able to cook for shit. Scratch that, he couldn’t even cook shit. He’s linguini from ratatouille when he was throwing a bunch of shit in the soup.
18+ Head-cannons (MINORS DNI! BEGONE!!)
3
2
1
I warned you
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You can not sit there and tell me he’s not a missionary guy. He is, he also like you on top.
Consent King Steve
If Stranger Things took place in modern times, he’d for sure be the guy that pulls his phone out to play Clash of Clans after rearranging your insides.
You’ve definitely tango’d in the BMW
Doesn’t strike me as the type to tie you up, wants to feel your hands on him 😏
Girthy king 👑
We all know he’d moan if you pulled his hair handle.
Hates being teased but lOvEs teasing you #hypocrite
The type of guy to finish and then start round two when he sees you put his shirt on.
We all know how he feels about boobs.
Definitely into thigh riding. It’s over for you once you say you like his thighs. (He’d definitely look at you and pat his lap 😩🙈)
We love a whimpering man (don’t look at me like that you know he does)
The type of man to just smirk if you suggest it’s small.
Extra: Billy’s the type of guy to fill you up and then go to McDonald’s for 40 nuggets- just for him.
Extra: Eddie definitely comes home, lays on your chest, and talks to your boobs his girls.
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