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#spoiler alert: things have not been good
fisheito · 4 months
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UM, ASTER/YAKUMO I ONLY *JUST* FOUND? HELLO?
I've never felt so seen. So represented. Thank u aster. Here are some of my fave lines
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#after reading this i had to consult The Chart to see if it lined up with the fic and#well. yeah. guess it did 😂😂😂😂#narration in aster's voice is so wonderfully comedic and snarky i loved every second of it. u manipulative gremlin#WHY IS YAKUMO SO CUTE HE SHOULDnT BE CUTE BUT I WANTNA *knuckles turning white from my trembling iron fist*#what was that picture of yakumo with the comment like [boys with big brown eyes like a baby cow stfu]#yeah that thing. that image was pulsing throughout the fic. intrusive adoring thought#aster sees yakumo's big soulful innocent eyes looking up at him and he's all#i need to slaughter him. i need to pound him into cutlets and distribute him to the masses for insane profit#ah..... is this cuteness aggression...#I NEED TO BULLY HIM. HE IS TRYNIG SO HARD TO BE GOOD I NEED TO#hyperventilates into my pizza box#sipping tea and reading while occasionally yelling out#SO true bestie [aster]. (melodramatic sigh)#idk why it's funny that yakumo squeaks in fic. it is SO FUNNY. hey look it's a squeaky mouse#wait he's a snake? are u sure? dont snake eat mice?...........ARE U SURE HE ISN'T A TINY minuscule RODENT LIVING INSIDE A DAISY? NO???#BIG DANGEROUS BLACK SHADOWY VENOMOUS SNAKE? ok..............sounds fake..........but if u say so........................#i'm fine. i'm not still having a Time of accepting mr serpent into my life. what are u talking about. i am fine.#i am reading words and acting in ways#hahahaaha! how can you awaken something when i already know it's awake??!!#(spoiler alert: i was not truly aware of its awakeness but i've been thinking of this fic for days so i'm pretty sure the awakening is NOW)#(insert pillar men theme) (sighs wearily at my own clownery)
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johnbly · 27 days
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[obligatory job hunting is hell post]
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adventurer-gearld · 1 year
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“The Captain is suspicious of you tagging along on the expedition to the Cape, you know?”
“I am not letting you face the metro alone. This is the mission it happened on.”
“…since I’m technically Agent Three, does that mean I’m gonna get—“
“Not happening. Nobody is going through that. I refuse to let that happen again.”
“Thanks for the reassurance.”
“… I only hope that I will not end up a liar”
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yay-depression · 2 years
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the repressed neurodivergent experience of thinking “no one will ever love me with all of my neurodivergency the way i love them with their neurotypical-ness.”
#me my whole life: got made fun of for exhibiting ND traits among other stuff#me in middle school: well if i simply pretend i am neurotypical people will stop disliking me for being ND#spoiler alert: i was not very good at faking neurotypical-ness#me now: very very good at faking being neurotypical to the point that i am perceived as having very few distinguishable traits#my family my entire life: you are weird (aka neurodivergent) stop being weird#my family my entire life: if i simply do the thing that my child hates maybe they will grow out of hating it#another spoiler alert: no the FUCK i did not#tldr my entire life i’ve essentially suppressed most of myself to make the people i love comfortable bc that’s what they wanted from me#and in response they routinely ignore some of my most important boundaries and still try to act like they’re helping me#my therapist keeps telling me that one day i’ll get a family even if it’s found family#because sometimes found family is the best kind of family#but no one i’ve met is willing to actually put up with who i am as a person and not abandon me#every non-familial person in my life anytime i’ve shared deeply personal things with them: nope no thank you goodbye#and the deeply personal things were always just like ‘i’m actually pretty insecure in friendships and i feel deeply lonely’#it wasn’t even traumadumping bc they always seemed fine with that!! bonding over shared trauma was like a group activity#and then anytime i was like ‘hey could i maybe get some validate that y’all don’t hate me?’ everyone would be like#no. why would you need that we never said we hated you stop being over dramatic#my dad pulled that last one all the time!! except he added the ‘how could you even think i hate you when i’ve been nothing but good to you!’#come to think of it my friends did a lot of that too actually#anyways i have a core belief that i’m actually just unloveable and people just tolerate me and it’s been confirmed repeatedly
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coldflasher · 1 year
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ALSO took valletta to the vet for her weight check and she is officially STABLE 😎 we love that for her
however we are now at a tally of two vets who think im insane and unstable bc i will plonk a relatively healthy, happy senior cat in front of them and then start crying even when they’ve already told me there’s nothing wrong with her*
**like, aside from the fact that she very much does have a degenerative chronic health issue. but in terms of things that are actively affecting her quality of life right now, there is nothing wrong with her
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from-a-distant-end · 2 years
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Eleven / Jane Ives | Portrayed by Millie Bobby Brown | Stranger Things
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captainchokchok · 10 months
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I should probably start seeing a therapist again soon because hoo boy
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followthebluebell · 15 days
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hello! I was scrolling through your blog (delightful) and found the post about Beef and his whiskers position, and I'm ashamed to say that in all my near-thirty years of being around cats and thinking I understand them pretty well I never thought to pay attention to the 'circle shape'. could you please expound a bit on what to look for when it comes to whiskers position and how to interpret it? Beef is an absolute sweetheart but looking at a brachy cat as an example makes it a bit hard for me to generalize. thank you!
Thank you! And also thank you for your patience--- I wanted to give some really good examples and have been scouring my blog for the best circle whisker cats I could find.
Picture heavy post under this.
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so this is the cat grimace scale. It's a sort of way to visually see if a cat is in pain/distress, and it gives a simplified view of the things I'm going to discuss. It's important to recognize that whisker shape/position is just ONE piece of communication and doesn't tell the whole story. A lot of this is also based on CONTEXT as well.
When you're looking at a cat face, here are the things you really want to pay attention to:
Ear position—Ears facing forward, ears slightly pulled apart, or ears flattened and rotated outward.
Orbital tightening—Eyes opened, eyes partially opened, or eyes squinted.
Muzzle tension—Muzzle relaxed (round), muzzle mildly tense, or muzzle tense (elliptical).
Whisker position—Whiskers loose and curved, whiskers slightly curved or straight, or whiskers straight and moving forward.
Head position—Head above the shoulder line, head aligned with the shoulder line, or head below the shoulder line or tilted.
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Calypso's huge whiskers give a REALLY good visual on the 'circle shape' to look for. You can see her whiskers are pushed forward and are loose and curved. She's feeling playful and engaged! She really wants to know what I'm up to and what's in my hand (spoiler alert, it was treats)
Compare that to this later picture, taken after she heard a dog bark nearby:
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Her muzzle is tighter. Her whiskers are pulled back a bit, and are straight. Her ears are set differently as well, one pulled back a bit. She's concerned, but not terribly worried about this strange sound.
You can also compare it to this handsome lad:
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Again, his whiskers are fairly straight. They aren't pulled back as far, but he's still very tense. He was extremely tense and upset that I took his water dish away from him (because it needed to be cleaned and changed).
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Milo is another great example of excited whiskers. They're pushed forward and curved, forming a sort of circle. Like Calypso, he's interested in what I'm doing and feeling playful. He was very interested in the toy I was throwing for him.
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Gumdrop is a good example of a more relaxed whisker position. She's curious, but not feeling playful. Her whiskers are held very loosely rather than being pushed forward. Her tail nub is up, indicating friendliness and confidence.
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shinehyuk · 1 year
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DAMNATION LEON AND VENDETTA LEON AND RE6 LEON
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draconic-desire · 1 month
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Yan!Aventurine who is willing to risk it all to make you his. Don’t underestimate the scope of his reach; with his connections and money, you’ll never be out of his hands for long, no matter how far you may run. He won’t take you immediately—no, he plays the long game and makes you sweat until you have no choice but to take the gamble and face him yourself. How much does it take for you to go all in, sweetheart?
Yan!Dr. Ratio who subtly gets in your head, wearing you down bit by bit. He’s part of the Intelligentsia Guild for good reason; this man knows exactly how to calculate every scenario and predict every outcome. Coaxing you closer and closer under his wing is like an experiment—how far can he push you before you realize him for what he is, before it’s too late for you to ever escape? Only the next test will tell.
Yan!Sunday who constantly manipulates everything about your life, down to the very last detail, behind the scenes. This man is the very definition of gaslight gatekeep (girlboss). If you rebel one too many times, you best believe he’ll whisk you away to his dreamscape manor, locked in never ending puzzles until you’re begging for him and his company.
Yan!Gallagher who is anything but what he appears. It’s child’s play for him to get close to you. Need someone to talk to over a stiff drink? How about someone to carry walk you home after you’ve had one too many (or did it taste a bit sweeter than the usual drinks he mixes for you?). Little do you know he’s been accumulating tidbits of all the things you like in a partner—he can be everything you’ve ever wanted, after all. Even if you have no choice.
——————————————————————————
My personal vote is for Sunday. After seeing his (spoiler alert) huge mansion and the miniature Penacony park in the 2.1 patch, I immediately (like many others) thought about how he’s used that dreamscape to his advantage. Gallagher is a close second…for obvious reasons if you’ve played 2.1.
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noiryinn · 14 days
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game over!
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pairing(s): nagi seishiro x male reader
summary: when a game of fortnite leads to sex
warnings: amab!reader, top!reader, bottom!nagi, anal sex, crying, begging, riding, belly bulge, edging, overstimulation, reader is kinda mean, slut shaming, (minors + fem aligned dni, all characters aged up)
word count: 1.1k
a/n: first smut, enjoy! (kinda rushed and bad)
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you were watching your boyfriend play his video games, as always. it annoyed you a bit, but you saw how happy he was playing them so you never said anything.
“hey, nagi?” you called out to him while laying on his bed. “yeah?” he replied, not even glancing away from his monitor. you really didn’t know what to say, you just called his name to he would pay some attention to you. your sex life has been kinda dry, so you just said the first thing that came to mind.
“if you win that game i’ll give you a blowjob,” you blurted out before quickly regretting it. you couldn’t take it back though, since he turned his head to look at you, “yeah?” nagi seemed to be challenging you. “and if i lose?” he asked. well, you didn’t think this far ahead so you just blurted something out again, “you have to ride me.”
honestly, it didn’t seem like a fair deal, but he took it anyway. “fine, deal.” you blinked in surprise, you never expected him to actually take it, knowing how much he hates doing the work himself. nagi was a pillow princess, there was no doubt. every time he laid there and looked pretty. a part of you really want this, maybe as pay back for the numerous amount of times he always payed attention to games and not you.
spoiler alert, he didn’t win the game.
“f-fuck! [name]!” the white haired boy whined in a pathetically high pitched voice. his eyes glossed over in pleasure as tears pricked the corner of his eyes. “please— ah…no- no more…” he begged. his moves were sloppy and uncoordinated, drool dribbled down his chin. his face was puffy and it was clear as day that he was wildly embarrassed.
“oh, seishiro…you’re getting sloppy, don’t tell me this is your limit? poor baby, is it nap time already?” you mocked him lightly. you couldn’t help laugh how he became such a overstimulated mess in just a few minutes. a small frown played on his face, “i’m not— agh…done yet!” nagi managed to slip out. “good. then prove it.” you condescendingly smirked at him, now it was your turn to sit and enjoy the show.
you fully took in the sight of your boyfriend. his ears and face flushed a mad red. he looked like he was nearing his limit, but didn’t want to admit it yet. the room echoed with the sounds of skin slapping and moans. you loved the sound of squelching when he sank onto your dick. there was even a outline of where it was on his stomach.
with a huff, he messily picked up his pace, drooling all over himself as he made pitiful attempts to keep up the pace. “is that all you can do?” you sneered, “shut up! i can— ngh…do more!” he made a weak jab to insult you back, but really he could barely think at all.
nagi was so perfect. the way he handled your dick, moaned, his facial expressions, you loved it. his pride made him refuse to admit that he was at his breaking point. you wanted to toy with him a bit, so you put your hands on either side of his hips and pushed him down onto your dick. his toes curled and his back arched in the most erotic way possible as he let out a lewd moan.
nagi’s head threw back and he tried to cover his mouth to stifle his moan when your dick hit his prostate in just the right area. you could feel his cute little hole clench around you. he was swearing up a storm under his breath, breathless ‘fucks’ and ‘shit’ rolled out his mouth as he kept babbling.
“i wanna…come ughh— please” he whined and begged as warm tears of pleasure rolling down his cheeks. “awh, already? but i was just starting to have some fun…” you pouted, “but hold it in, will ya?” you asked him. “i can’t, mnghh…[name] you’re being mean!” he said weakly. “you can’t what? use your words…” you looked at him in his eyes.
he stared at you back with that same frown on his face, it looked like he was choking back words. you waited for him to speak, wondering what he had to say. “i can’t…ride you anymore— ah!” you slammed him down on your dick again, “you’re too big…nghh…” nagi kept rambling on, “you’re— so mean…just fuck me already…please…?” he gave you a pleading look and you sighed. “looks like poor baby can’t ride me anymore. don’t worry, i’ll take it from here” you teased him one last time before switching the position you two were in.
nagi laid on the bed, his face having a fucked out expression, both of his legs wrapped around your waist. you barely gave him a moment to recollect his thoughts when you sharply thrusted into him, knocking the wind out of nagi’s lungs. you pounded deeply into his hole. the sound of his moans sounding almost pornographic.
nagi could barely think, let alone form words. all he could do was just lay there and moan. “you are such a whore for dick, seishiro.” you smirked, he made a desperate attempt to shake his head no, but he was too fucked out to actually do anything. “what a little slut, bet you lost that game on purpose huh?” you whispered in his ear. his only response was a little whimper.
you were surprised when nagi tightened his legs around you, rutting against you for any sort of friction, for you to go deeper. you smiled at this and leaned in to kiss him deeply. he lazily wrapped his arms around your neck. when you two let go to breathe, he whispered something softly in your ear, “mm…[name] i love you…so please, don’t go easy on me, okay…?” in that moment, what kept you from holding back (barely anything), just shattered in that moment.
“[name]~ my back hurts” nagi grumbled. you chuckled softly at that, “you were the one who wanted me to go hard, seishiro. don’t make a fuss.” he just responded with a petulant look. you two were on the bed looking at each other, sweaty and breathless. even when nagi was a mess he was beautiful. “you were being mean too…” he complained. “sorry, i couldn’t help it when you were being such a brat…” you remarked.
“ugh…that was such a hassle…i don’t know why we did it…” nagi mumbled while sinking into the bed. “you agreed to the bet!” you groaned, rolling your eyes at his complaint. for an athlete, he was sure unmotivated. “can you wash me? i feel gross…” he asked with puppy-dog eyes. it wasn’t unusual for him to ask you to do things like that. “okay, okay. i’ll carry you.” you sighed, unable to resist his adorable look. though it was a bit of work, you didn't mind doing it for nagi.
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chrollohearttags · 6 months
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NNN with eren
this my type of carrying on 🌚 I fear that brother isn’t making it past week one. Simply because he no longer has that type of restraint. Sure, when you first met him, he wouldn’t have cracked, no problem. He was celibate and honestly, sex wasn’t on his mind like that. But neowww?? Oh it’s a biggg problem! And you don’t make things easier on him either. You propose the idea and ofc, his pride and ego won’t let him turn down a challenge.
“What do you take me for? A perverted freak who can’t go a month without beating his dick? Watch me..I got this.”
and spoiler alert, he does not got this! The first couple of days, he’s all good. He’s exercising, working on some projects and getting things done. He takes his dog for a walk and you two even enjoy some nice outings that don’t involve him turning you into a human pretzel. But a few more days pass and he’s not doing so well. In fact, he’s miserable. But he doesn’t show it, at least not around you. “Are you okay, baby? You look a little tense..” “Me? Tense? You’re crazy, I’m just fine, princess.” Whole time, he’s lifting hundred pound weights with no spotter and pure spite on his side. Your clothes keep getting shorter and shorter and so does his patience. His final straw(s) perhaps are when he sees you naked..fresh out of the shower and you’re rubbing yourself in all of those body oils and creams and he’s seen you do it tons of other times before normally, he’s devouring you right after. This time, not so much and it’s driving him crazy. You’re paying extra attention to detail on your ass, tits and thighs..but you don’t even stop there. It’s once he leaves the bedroom and you go to have your own little fun does he really lose it. Lying on the bed with an array of toys, playing with yourself…oh he’s PISSED. Not only because a bunch of plastic gets to have you but he can’t anddd you’re breaking the agreement!..or so he thought. “I never said I was participating. I asked you.” And from there, he’s done! No more of this stupid game. Instead, he starts laughing because you’re in for it. “Don’t worry, princess. I won’t break the agreement. Have fun with your toys..because I won’t be nearly as easy on you as they are.” And his tone? You know you’re about to be crawling until Christmas because he’s been biding his time until he can put you through the mattress.
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satorusluver · 7 months
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Gojo x short!reader headcanons
Word count: 1,180 ish
Warnings: smut (minors DNI), SIZE KINK, slight praise kink, creampie, oral (f receiving), fluff, afab reader, she/her pronouns. Also the reader is described as curvy like one time.
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-Gojo Satoru doesn't actually see you in a romantic or sexual way at first. Not that he finds you unattractive, he's just never dated anyone that much shorter than him before or really even thought about it. He's never really considered himself someone who's into big size differences (which is kind of ironic because he's so much bigger than almost everyone lol). He thinks you're cute though. He also definitely likes the way you literally look up to him. Itty bitty thing, you don't even come up to his shoulder.
-He teases you relentlessly about your height, calls you shorty, shortstack, vertically challenged, you name it. He ruffles your hair and does that thing where he uses your head as an arm rest just to see the annoyed look on your face. The more he does stuff like this over time the more flirtatious it becomes even if that wasn't his original intention. Eventually it ends up being his way of blatantly trying to flirt with you although you might not realize this at first 'cause he just has a flirty personality in general.
-He thinks it must be annoying to be so short. How do you see over things?? (spoiler alert: you don't) How do you reach things??? Speaking of, he will purposefully move things out of your reach to watch you jump up to get them. He thinks it's hilarious (and also maybe he likes the way it makes your boobs bounce). After awhile he will offer to be your tall knight in shining armour and get it for you. But you always say no, you've been short your whole life and you can do it yourself.
-He appreciates that independent element of you, but at the same time, sometimes he gets annoyed when you break out the stepstool and actually do get it yourself so he will hide it from you just so you have to relent and accept his help. Petty? Yes. Effective? Also yes.
-He'll also sometimes refuse to bend down to let you kiss him just to see you do a cute lil jump to try to reach him. He never refuses for very long though because he just can't resist his cute lil girlfriend and her adorable pouty face. Then he bends down and squishes your cheeks until your lips pucker and tells you that you're too cute for your own good before finally giving you that kiss you wanted, and then a couple more to make up for him messing with you.
-He will offer to let you sit on his shoulders so you can see in crowds. No, you're not too heavy. He's the strongest, remember? No, this isn't about jujutsu, but the fact still stands. And it's definitely not an excuse to feel your thighs around his head, or anything like that...
But when you guys do get intimate, oh boy.
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-He never really thought about it before, but now he's kind of starting to like the way you guys are physically opposites - he's tall, lanky, and hard; you're short, curvy and soft. Even your hands, your legs, you're just so tiny compared to him and he doesn't know why that excites him so much now, but it does. He could really just pick you up and toss you onto the bed like a ragdoll. He won't though...unless you want him to?
Oh, you do want him to? Say no more, princess.
-In which case, he will toss you onto the bed and push those pretty thighs of yours apart so he can feel them around his head properly this time. And no, he won't stop eating you out until you beg him to, his tongue lapping hungrily at your clit and occasionally murmuring whatever thoughts fill his pussydrunk head about how good you taste and how much he wants you to cum on his tongue.
-He loves missionary but knows your head would literally be against his chest if he leaned over you too much during it so he usually sits up so he can get a good look at your face while he's pounding you. He loves loves loves holding your hand in his while he's doing it too, loves how his huge hand engulfs yours and how your tiny fingers grip his for dear life when he makes your eyes roll back in your head. He quickly becomes obsessed with how you look under him, your legs folded against your chest and your eyes glazed over with pleasure.
-He also loves to have you sit on his lap on a chair or couch, straddling him so he can run his hands along your waist as you slowly sink down onto his cock. He loves the way you curl up against him, your head resting against his shoulder. Your hand holds the back of his neck, your fingers gently combing through the short hair of his undercut as you whimper softly from the feeling of him stretching out your walls inch by inch. It's one of the few times he doesn't pound you, just wanting to take it slow and savor making love with you. So he wraps his arms around your middle and pulls you close, pressing your chest flush against his as he thrusts up into you gently but deeply, allowing you to feel every single inch of him slowly moving in and out of you.
-Other times he'll have you ride him like that, only to end up gripping the fat of your ass with those big hands of his to move your hips up and down on him, keeping you moving after your legs have already begun to give out. You can't bring yourself to complain even when you start to feel that burning in your thighs when his fat cock is hitting all of your sweet spots and you've lost count of how many times you've cum. And all the while he's moving you up and down, he'll whisper filthy things in your ear with that classic Satoru smirk tugging at his pretty pink lips from the sight of you so fucked out on his cock:
"Such a good little fuckdoll f'me. Gonna let me use this pretty body however I want, yeah? That's my baby, good fucking girl." ❤️
-Satoru says he was never into really short girls before you, but now the sight of you in his shirts and how they hang down to your plush thighs has his dick getting so hard so fast. Wear them without underwear and if he notices you will not be leaving the house that day (or be able to walk straight for days). He'll have you leave the shirt on while he's fucking you too, he'll just lift it up to get a look at the way your tits bounce when his hips snap against yours.
-He really does think you're the most beautiful woman in the world, and you're all Satoru's, and that thought alone has him painting your walls white and groaning a "love you s'much" against your lips as he fucks yet another load of thick cum into your already overfilled cunt.
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love-belle · 10 months
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i should hate u !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them using shady captions to communicate and the media and fans being confused.
or
for when you loved them too much. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // max verstappen x fem!reader
sequel - today and tomorrow and every day after that ⋆·˚ ༘ *
warnings - language
author's note - hello!!! i really hope u like this <3 i was initially gonna do daniel ricciardo one first but i already had 1/2 of this done so i just decided to post this :) thank u sm for reading <3 i love u
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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f1news y/n y/l/n and max verstappen called it quits almost a month ago and it seems like they didn't end on good terms at all. the singer, at her london show last night, threw shade at her ex-boyfriend, saying and we quote, "the next song wouldn't have been possible without this one dude who inspired it obviously. so — here's 'i should hate you'. spoiler alert, i do. thank you!" the reason for the split is still unknown but sources who claim to be close to the pair said that 'it was bound to happen — with their different goals and plans for the future," seemingly referring to the talks that y/l/n wanted to get married and verstappen didn't. both of them have yet to comment on the situation. for more details, click on the link in our bio.
278 comments
username WOAH
username pause.
username ahahahahaha say what.
username oh my god 💀💀💀
username NOT HER CONFIRMING THAT I SHOULD HATE YOU IS ABT MAX
username no bc the way her voice cracked so many times in between the songs like girlie is angry AND hurt
username OH MY GOD
username i genuinely have no words
username omg the photos are NOT of her shading max. it's her laughing at a fan who yelled "you're the baddest bitch of all baddest bitches" at her
-> username YEAH LIKE SHE WAS SO CLOSE TO CRYING WHEN SHE SANG ISHY
username my delusional ass thinking they ended on good terms 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
username nah it's so champagne problems and you're losing me kinda thing i can't handle this whatcthe fucj
username OH WHATCTHEBFUCJ
username me getting the big guns out to defend her AND max with my LIFE
username still processing their breakup give me a year to digest this information
username STOP WHAT THE FUCK
username my parents ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
username no bc she's genuinely such a sweet person so if she said this max must've done something 😭😭😭😭😭
-> username STOP NO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
username can't believe she's saying this about a dude for whom she wrote "feels like" for like wow.
username I WAS AT THAT SHOW AND SHE LOOKED SO SAD AFTER SHE SAID THIS I FELT SO BAD
-> username SHE ALSO STARTED CRYING WHEN SHE FINISHED SINGING I MISS U IM SORRY AND ZARA (HER LEAD GUITARIST) HAD TO RUN AND CONSOLE HER
-> username AND SHE SAID THAT THE LAST MONTH HAS BEEN HARD ON HER AND SHE APOLOGIZED IF THE SHOW WASN'T AS GOOD AS THE OTHERS
-> username NAH MOTHER ATE AS ALWAYS
username y'all saying this but not the fact that she ALSO said "in another life we would've worked but im grateful for everything i had because for a moment you were mine"
-> username MY HEART JUST BROKE WHATCTHEBFUCK
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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maxverstappen1 i know i say that i am better now, spoiler alert, i am
8,926 comments
username the way my jaw dropped
username THE PICTURES
username GODDAMN
username someone take away y/n's phone before she hits back 💀💀💀
-> username the way i know that she would absolutely destroy him
username NOT THE PHOTOS OMG
danielricciardo spoiler alert, also a liar
-> maxverstappen1 you promised you wouldn't snitch
username he definitely cried while posting this idc
username max babe it's okay to admit that u miss ur wifey bc same 💔💔💔
-> username "wifey" girl he didn't even wanna marry her
-> username not another word.
username funny haha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 im crying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 now get back with mom.
landonorris no you're not
-> maxverstappen1 i will block you
username lando and daniel exposing max 💀💀💀
username no bc he probably cries whenever he remembers that he fumbled a baddie like y/n
username "it's all better with you ❤️"
-> username i could've gone along with my day without seeing that just saying
-> username delete that RIGHT NOW before i start crying
username missing max simping for y/n like ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
charles_leclerc i swear i can hear you crying from my hotel room
-> maxverstappen1 WE'RE NOT EVEN IN THE SAME HOTEL
username the way im SO sure he heard y/n saying that she hates him and that was the moment he gave up
-> username nah bc he was one of the "my girl's mad at me i hope i die" kinda guys
-> username wonder how he's surviving this tbh
username I CAN'T TAKE THIS SERIOUS IM SORRY THE POST IS JUST TOO FUNNY
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by selenagomez, carmenmmundt, dualipa and 2,246,826 others
yourusername i hate you lol
12,628 comments
username HELP
username she could only get this much in before her manager took away her phone ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
*liked by yourusername*
username no bc girl had a lot to say she's just trying to keep it cute
*liked by yourusername*
username the way i know y/n FOUGHT for the right to post this caption
username this is MILD bc i know y/n can be ruthless 😭😭😭😭😭😭
landonorris "in love" alright.
-> yourusername IT'S FOR THE AESTHETIC
username mother and father are fighting i can't take this what tye fyxk
username 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
username mother slays everyday just saying
username no bc if y/n ever said ihy to me i would give up just a thought
lilymhe pretty bitch
-> yourusername u sure that's not u?????
username i REALLY hope she's at the next gp
-> username no bc the way max and her meeting would definitely be more entertaining than the race itself
username NOT THE SONG LYRICS WHAT HAVE U PLANNED
-> username oh fuck that broke my heart what the fuck
username missing my man max in the comments section being a whipped bitch so bad ://////
carmenmmundt can't wait to see you darling 🤍
-> yourusername counting down the seconds omg i missed u!!!!!!
username y/n's manager has her on lockdown i can tell 💀💀💀
-> username with what she said at her last show i wouldn't be surprised
landonorris the post has reached the target and the target is currently eating ice cream while singing your songs
-> yourusername OH OKAY
-> yourusername good to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
username she's so pretty it's not fair wtf
username the caption omg
-> username it's SO mild compared to what i was expecting tbh 💀
username slay
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by danielricciardo, georgerussell63, charles_leclerc and 892,628 others
maxverstappen1 it's all better now
comments are disabled for this post
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by carmenmmundt, charles_leclerc, landonorris and 2,829,626 others
yourusername and i swear to god i'd kill you if i loved you a less hard
13,728 comments
username SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
username OH MY GOD
username IS THAT MAX WHATCTHEBFUCK
username NOT Y/N SOFT LAUNCHING HER EX BOYFRIEND
username GIRL 😭😭😭😭 get up
username this is INSANE
username MOTHER?????? WHAT IS THIS??????
danielricciardo the most stressful week of my life if we're being for real
-> yourusername u can send m*x the therapy bill
-> maxverstappen1 don't. i did not agree to that.
username HER SONG LYRICS OH MY GOD
username SHE WROTE THIS SONG FOR MAX 😭😭😭😭😭😭
username okay but like. are we SURE that's max?????
-> username i simply refuse to believe that it's someone else so yes. that IS in fact max.
username OKAYYYYYYY
username did NOT see this coming in a thousand years
username obviously VERY happy for them but y/n censoring max's name is so fucking hilarious like
-> yourusername babe it's m*x
-> username my bad ur absolutely right it's m*x
-> maxverstappen1 this is bullying
username DID HE PUT A RING ON IT WHATXTHEBFUCK
-> username NO BC THAT WOULD MAKE SM SENSE
username so i lost SLEEP over nothing????????
maxverstappen1 nice pants
-> yourusername thanks they would look better on ur floor
-> maxverstappen1 say less
-> username i think i just died whatcthebfuxk
-> username oh they're GOOD now
username imagine they just drop engagement photos out of the blue then what.
-> yourusername imagine lol
-> username WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
username i just know y/n's eating up every moment of this chaos
-> maxverstappen1 demons thrive in chaos so
-> yourusername well! it was nice to reconcile for a couple days, goodbye now.
username im crying whayctrhbfcuk
landonorris mother father
-> yourusername child
-> maxverstappen1 no
-> username ah yes the four family members mother father child and no
username THE HEART THE EVERYTHING THEM
username they STILL don't follow eachother LMFAO
2K notes · View notes
lovetei · 9 months
Note
Can you write about the demon brothers reacting to MC attempting to flip a bottle and land it but before they do they say,
“If I land this, I’ll kiss Solomon.”
And when questioned why they had that very specific condition they respond with,
“Because I know I won’t land it.”
(Spoiler alert: They do land it and they’re like, “oh…anyways! Solomon wanna make out?”)
Idk why my brain thought of this but here
This have been in my drafts for ages... I'm sorry if this took so long... :')
I'll try to finish as much project and requests as I can promise :)
--------------------------------------------------
Tumblr media
MC playing filp the bottle except if they landed it, they go make out with Solomon
Warnings: Grammar errors, not proofread
Versions: Demon brothers, Side Characters
Links: Masterlist
--------------------------------------------------
LUCIFER:
He's sitting in his desk doing the usual
Work, eat, work, sleep
And you're there
Sitting in the floor like a child he needs to babysit
"Hey, Lucifer."
"What?"
"If I land this flip I'm making out with Solomon-"
What flip?
There won't be any bottles to flip when he shot that plastic bottle with whatever dark energy that is stored inside him.
You just looked at the plastic bottle you're playing with that is now stuck in the wall with a black shadow pinning it.
You looked at Lucifer and he's looking back at you like he didn't do anything
"Ha, MC... Why would you even want that shady sorcerer near you? Asking such specific consequences..." He sighed.
And you responded with a giggle
"I only said that because I know you won't let me land it."
Oh...
I guess he fell for his darlings trap again.
Hey what are you doing?
Where did that bottle came from?
You have another one?!
Why, are you going to flip it?!-
IT LANDED?!
You grabbed your phone to call Solomon and asked him something but
But before you can even dial his number the same thing that happened to the bottle happened to your phone.
"What are you grabbing MC?" He asked as if he didn't just ruin your phone.
MAMMON:
You saw this flip the bottle challenge online when the two of you went to get some things from the human world
And you both decided to make it a trend in the Devildom
But of course you need to be unbeatable to this game first before letting others know about this
So you're in his room, continuously practicing
"If I land this you'll ask for Lucifer's credit card."
"If I land this I'm making out with Solomon."
Fine!-
Wait what?
What did you just say?
The bottle he just threw stopped mid air and the bottle you threw was stopped
It was about to do a perfect land but suddenly,
Coincidentally, a random fire ablazed out of nowhere causing the wind to change and disrupt the landing of your battle
He looked at you in disbelief, his bottle still mid air
"Why did you ask for that..?" He asked his voice low as the bottle slowly descended.
"Because I know you won't let it land, Mammon." You laughed out slowly making him chuckle too
Of course he won't
He's your first man after all, and your kisses are strictly restricted for him and him only-
Did that bottle just landed?
Is that your bottle?!
YOU GRABBED HIS BOTTLE AND FLIPPED IT FOR YOURSELF?!
NU UH!
You better bet he's outside HOL waiting for that damn sorcerer like he's some criminal.
LEVIATHAN:
He's the hardest player to play with, to be honest
You don't know if he's good at this because he's a good player
If he's good at this because he can control the water
Or if he's good at this because he's just so lucky
You've been chanting the phrase "If I land this I'll make out with Solomon." For some time now
But the water just kept mysteriously moving mid air causing the bottle to lean sideways and fail to stand up
You look at Leviathan and he just avoided your gaze while sweating
So what you did is
You briefly kissed him on the cheek before saying the same phrase while his mind is lagging and you knew it
The bottle landed and he's just like "H-HWAH?!"
You're grabbing your phone..?
OH MY GOSH YOU'RE GRABBING YOUR PHONE!
"W-Wait MC!" He tried to stop you from 'calling' Solomon
Well, you're not calling him,
You just put the phone in your ear pretending to do so
"I-I'll make out with you instead, please?!"
Wait...
Why are you grinni like that..?
W-Wait!
SATAN:
This bottle flip challenge is so stupid and so noisy
He just look at you with a book in his hands knowing damn well that the bottle won't land because the water is not enough
"If I land this I'll make out with Solomon!"
What?!
Oh wait, the bottle won't land.
He's nervous for a second he's glad he knows it won't land-
HOW THE FUCK?
Where did that water came from?!
Why is the bottle suddenly half full?!
"MC you little..." He frowned at you, the book no longer important to him
"What I flipped the bottle? It's just fair-"
What bottle are you talking about?
The bottle that is standing before you is now squeezed
And the water 'coincidentally' squirted just enough to have your phone broken
Just as he thought
The bottle wouldn't land.
ASMODEUS:
He's not actually playing with you, just watching you as he dries his nails
"Honey you've been flipping that thing since earlier, aren't your wrist tired?" He whined out.
You just shook your head
Not even bothering to verbally answer him
Except just continuing to flip the bottle
You then sighed before saying "If I land this, I'm making out with Solomon."
Oh?
Now he's invested~
Oh it landed?!
"Wah~ I want to flip it too!" He suddenly said before grabbing the bottle and flipping it himself
What, he flipped it in first try?
Wait why is his eyes glowing pink?
Did he control it
"Come on now, MC! Call Solomon and tell him he needs to make our with two people!"
Oh...
So that's how it is...
BEELZEBUB:
You're in the kitchen counter
Flipping bottles continuously since earlier
And he's just sitting in front of you on the other side of the counter
Watching you
"If I land this flip I'm making out with Solomon..!" You contracted
His eyes went wide
And before the bottle can even land you heard a crunch
"Tastes good."
Did he just take a bite out of the bottle?
THE BOTTLE?!
Well...
That's one way to solve it...
BELPHEGOR:
He's just trying to sleep peacefully...
Stop making so much noise with that damn bottle please!
He's burying his head on so many pillows
You think he can't even breathe anymore
So...
He can't hear you if you just whisper it right?
"If I land this flip I'm making out with Solomon..." You whispered to yourself.
Suddenly some tail hit the bottle and crashed it to the wall
Now there's a hole in the wall with a bottle stuck in it
"I just woke up MC... Don't mess with me." He said.
You just chuckled as you drop yourself on his bed.
You knew it.
Solomon won't stand a chance against a newly wake up Belphegor.
3K notes · View notes
superluver · 9 months
Text
What was in the bag? G.S.
Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Wife!Reader
wc: 1516 | cw: Gojo is annoying, fem!Reader, Married, Pre established couple, mentions of bounty&death, FLUFF
Description: Gojo's students meet his wife without knowing it's his wife. Spoiler alert, they think you're his mom.
STARTING HERE
You weren’t really a secret per se.. more of underwraps.
Married to Satoru Gojo, strongest man alive in modern times, you were kind of on the radar for multiple things. Bounty’s on your head reaching over 600 million yen, though they’ve never actually gotten you.
And your daughter, it’s even worse. The highest you’ve heard of was 1 Billion yen, but as Satoru always tells you, he wouldn’t have married someone unable to take care of themselves. You were strong on your own, sure, not a special grade, but a high Grade 1.
You were more than capable of taking care of your family.
“Sora, ready to go?” You coo at her, looking down at her. She babbles in responde, kicking her legs and thrusting them up and down. It’s quite funny.
You are wearing a big hat, large sunglasses and a mask, your 5 month old daughter only wearing the hat and glasses. Her body facing your chest.
A large, garbage bag sits at the door. You recall Satoru texting you to bring it to the school because he forgot it, so with a sigh, you take it in your hand.
It’s heavy, but not unbearably so.
You embark on your journey to the school, which was only about two miles away if you walked, so it was nothing. The only thing concerning you at the moment would be the summer heat beating down on the two of you, wondering if it would be too hot for the small child, but you push on.
“Okay Sora, you have to be good.” You tell her, her big blue eyes staring into yours as you slip on her small glasses. Her hands go up to her face, trying to take them off, but you stop her. That’s when she begins to whine.
“Sora,” you sigh, pressing the hat further down your head. You want to chuckle at her pouty face, her white hair curling over the rim of her small sun hat. You step out of the house into the sun, the large trash bag in your hand. “We’re going to see Papa, but you need to be a good girl.” You tell her, your free hand patting her back, her front pressed onto you from the carrier she’s strapped to that brings you two together.
Immediately, her small whines stop. She looks up at you, her mouth slightly open. “Yes, your papa is at work, and we will visit him.” You tell her in a higher pitch, and she begins to babble out of happiness once more.
It’s been about thirty minutes, Sora taking a nap and you still holding the trash bag. You gain many stares, but you don’t seem to care.
Behind you, someone creeps up. You can feel an immense amount of cursed energy from him, causing you to tense up, and you’re sure Sora can feel it too as she begins to whine again.
“Excuse me?” The person begins, and you assume the person behind you is male from their tone. To turn around, eyebrows furrowed and free hand to your baby's head, pressing her further into you.
“You seemed to be struggling with the bag, so I—” he stammers, and you really look at him. No evil intentions, but that dangerous cursed energy coming from him alarms you.
He’s got pink hair, and a very child-like face. His hand is at the back of his head, scratching awkwardly. You take notice of his uniform, and all that tenseness dissipates. “Are you a Jujutsu Sorcerer?” You ask him, and his eyes go wide.
He shakes his head, hands thrown up. “No-! No, no! I’m— a student! From Sendai, I’m on my way to school!”
You deadpan, he’s clearly lying. Raising an eyebrow, you scoff, “Sendai? What are you doing here in Tokyo. And anyway,” you glance at his uniform, the head holding Sora’s head presses on one of the gold buttons, “I know a Jujutsu Sorcerer’s uniform when I see one. No need to lie, I’m one too.” You confess, finger to your lips(though they’re covered by the mask) like you just told him a secret.
“O-oh! I feel a little embarrassed now..” he tells you bashfully.
“Are you a first year?”
He blinks, nodding slow. “Yeah, I am.”
“Great! Where is Satoru Gojo?” You ask him, and again, he blinks. “I think… he went to get some dessert.”
You groan, readjusting your hat further down.
He leans down, taking the bag from you before stumbling from its weight.
‘She was carrying this!?’
He smiles, re-adjusting it in his hold, then thanking God for his strength.
“If it’s too heavy you can leave it on the ground.” You grumble, sitting under a tree on the stone ledge that surrounds it. The two of you sit under the shade, and Sora, now fully awake, is kicking her legs out. You pull her from the carrier, still facing you, you bounce her on your knee.
The two of you still adorned in your heavy disguises as another person comes by. A girl, wearing a Jujutsu Uniform, brown hair— though clearly dyed— cut into a cute bob. You chuckle, it reminds you of Shoko.
“What’s taking you so long— OHMYGOD!?” She shouts, staring at you. You probably scared her.. you think, but when she steps to you, kneeling to you and asking if you were a celebrity, sweat drops.
“Hm?”
“I'm asking if you’re a celebrity. A model? Maybe an actress.”
You find yourself laughing, shaking your head at her antics. “No, I’m afraid not.”
“A singer! See you have a very nice voice.”
Your head tilts, confused with a hint of embarrassment— though you end up laughing it off— it seems they don’t know who you are.
Sora, still in your arms, is again pressing her hands to her face, knocking her glasses off.
The girl, which you still haven't learned her name, bends down, picking up her glasses and when she leans back up, she sees Sora, looking down at her. Her big blue eyes staring back into the sorceress’ brown ones.
“Holy shit.” She murmurs, wordlessly giving you back her glasses. You stare puzzled, watching as she stands up and walks back to the other boy.
“That— that woman is Gojo’s MOM! She must've been hit by a curse that takes her to the future, because the baby she’s holding is a literal baby Gojo!” Nobara informs Yuuji in whisper, who shakes his head at her.
“No way,” he glances back at you and Sora, who is now tearing off her head revealing her snow white hair. She blinks at him, showcasing her beautiful eyes— identical to his teacher's— and he gapes.
“See! I told you!” She whispers back.
What they don’t realize is that their teacher is looming over them. “What’re you two whispering about?” He asks with a teasing grin, his hands in his pockets, around his arm is a paper bag of Kikufuku.
“Your mom!” Yuuji and Nobara tell him, pointing to the disguised woman. They still haven’t seen her face, but the baby was enough evidence for them.
Megumi stares at them like their idiots, even worse when he watches what his teacher and caretaker does next.
He glances at the woman, then smiling. “Mommy!” He shouts, walking up to her with a wave.
You look up and frown. His students stare at the supposed reunion with him and his mother, his hands to your face pulling off your glasses, then your hat, then ripping your mask off. The three are unable to see your face, though Megumi already knows what you look like.
He leans down, pressing a kiss to your lips, then one to the top of the Sora’s head. Still, his students can’t see your face, but their faces are disgusted. “What the hell do you do with your mom?” They asked, Megumi glancing at them like they were stupid.
Satoru laughs, “That’s the beautiful Mommy of my child,” he tells them, watching them go from relaxed to pure shock.
“WHAT YOU DIDN’T TELL US?! AND YOU HAVE A KID?!"
“NO ONE KNEW?!”
“Megumi knew!” Satoru chirps, and the boy’s friends turned to him. “You knew he was married and didn’t say anything.”
“That guy has nothing to do with me.” Megumi tells them, rolling his eyes at his friends interrogating him.
They’re extremely loud, loud wnough to the poiny where tou’re getting embarrassed.
“Excuse me?” You speak up, and they all turn to you. Your face on full display, and this causes them to gape further. “Could you guys be just a little bit more—”
“HOW DID YOU BAG THAT GOJO-SENSEI?!” Nobara asks, pointing at you them him.
He laughs, throwing his head back at the chaos.
Megumi shakes his head, and you stand up, Sora back in the carrier. You take Megumi and walk off with a sigh, still able to hear their screams in the distance along with Satoru’s laughter.
“What was in the bag?” Megumi asks in a disinterested tone.
You, looking ahead, think about it before shrugging.
“No clue.”
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