nina i deleted the x app today bcs it's taking a toll on my mental health

also...any recommensations on zb1 content creators on tumblr? i'd like to follow them!

aw i'm sorry to hear that but it's good that you're taking care of yourself riri ❤️

as for cc recommendations i have a ton! most of these are gifmakers but there are a few who make fanart, graphics, and videos:

zb1 only:

@coldinjeolmi / @daintyzerose / @dubudans / @eumppappa / @gunhaos / @gunuk / @gunwookstan / @hanbeanz / @jellywook / @jiiwoongs / @jiwoongz / @jjanguri / @kimtaeraes / @leokillers / @lovely-hao / @quanrui / @seokbaseone / @sung-hanbin / @sunghanbinie / @taeraex / @zb1s / @zerobaseone / @zeroze / @znghao

multifandom:

@614s2 / @ambivartence / @bestleader / @beyujinz / @cinnanovaz / @dawnofus / @dazzlingkai / @haknyeonis / @haoya / @janghaos / @jjaez / @jseungz / @jwoongz / @kyubins / @lunetual / @seokmatthewz / @thebvbbletea / @y--eontan / @yirenz / @yongbonk / @yonjunz / @yunwooz / @yutito

i also highly highly recommend checking out @zb1net and @zb1work which are networks for zb1 ccs! i'm ngl i do most of my reblogging from their hashtags #zb1net and #zb1work, and also #zb1 fanart!

You, Me, Lonely.

(s.h. x reader)

from the river to the sea (educate yourself and help however you can)

Summary: you love Steve, Steve loves you. But maybe you both want different things from life.

Warnings/tags: reader menstruates (reader has uterus), abandonment issues, the ‘six nuggets’ talk, suggestive

Word count: 3.4k

masterlist

a/n: huge huge huge thanks to @procrastinationprincesses for helping me out with this fic and giving it an ending (ur amazing sanjana <3)

writing and posting something because i might have to go MIA for a lil bit (miss me while I'm gone will ya?)

fic is inspired by ‘You, Me, Lonely’ by FIZZ i absolutely love this song like its so close to my heart ughh what can i say I'm a little bitter about the six nuggets scene 

also if you couldn't tell already I have major abandonment issues and an anxious avoidant attachment style. It will reflect in what i write soz :(

In the quiet of the night, you wish for this to last forever. That you'll have him forever.

When you came out of the shower you found him asleep on his side of the bed. His side– the one closer to the door. ‘so I can protect you from anyone who'll try to steal you from me’, he had justified it when you asked him why he was adamant on that side.

you had turned off the bedside lamp ten minutes ago, slipped under the duvet, as quietly as possible so as to not wake him up. on your side of his bed. your bed.

He always sleeps on his stomach, one hand under his pillow and the other extended a little towards yours. His body moves with steady and slow breaths, back rising and falling under the covers, head peeking out from under the rumpled up duvet. his cheeks are squished against the pillow cover. His hair is a mess from the lack of hair product, and still damp from the shower he took before you. There's a few strands of his brown hair sprawled across his forehead too. With your softest touch you brush them away from his eyes.

You wonder what he was dreaming. you hope it was something nice. He looks calm, at peace, and very, very pretty.

You look at him and you know you love him. You want to love him forever.

Love had never seemed like the type of thing you’ll get– like it wasn't meant for you. But then you met him. This boy. This boy who you never thought to be your type. You never thought you even had a type. But his boyish charm and stupid grin won you over.

Your heart doesn't skip beats around him anymore, and you’d think that that means he doesn’t have that same effect on you anymore but that would be wrong. You don’t think you’ve ever loved anyone as much as you do to him. You don’t look at him and get butterflies in your stomach, you look at him and… you’re sure. your heart is quiet and sure. You don't think you’ve ever been sure before.

You want to be sure forever.

He feels like the comfortable still of rain after a scorching hot summer, like the calm and cold breeze that cools you down. Like standing at the top of the mountain, looking at the clouds and valleys below, he feels like the crisp air that fills your lungs. Like the comfort meal your mom makes– the one you can never really recreate, the one that tastes the best when it comes from her. 

You love him and you know. You know. You know he likes you, loves you even. 

Steve Harrington loves you like a dream, and you're worried that one day he’ll wake up, look at you and realise that he deserves so much better. He’ll wake up and he’ll leave for work and he’ll bump into a pretty angel of a girl with a disposition as bright as his. And he’ll never return. people fall out of love. People fall out of love all the time.

You wish for him to love you forever.

How long is a forever anyway?

You wonder what it'll be like. When you're older, with wrinkles, white hair and weaker limbs. 

It's like you see it.

You and him in a bed– just like now but older, wiser, more tired. His back turned to you. There'd be distance between you two, you’d want to move closer and hold him– but you wouldn't. You’d just stare at the back of his head, counting all the grey hairs you’d memorised like all the moles and wrinkles on his skin.

You’d notice his breathing, the rise and fall of his chest and you would have known him so long and so well that you'd just know that he wasn't actually asleep. you'd know why he wasn't asleep.

there'd be a pain in your chest. You would know what it is, why its there. You would gulp and try not to think about it.

“Do you always stare at me in my sleep?” his groggy voice pulls you out of your own head.

You blink, multiple times. Forever, right.

He softly smiles up at you. You blink away before moving to lay on your back, the sheets rustling with your movement. “sorry I woke you up”, you mumble an apology, staring at the ceiling, you fail to hide the shake in your voice.

“Y’kay?” 

“Yeah.” the sheets beside you ruffle but you keep your eyes trained on the ceiling. it seems inevitable. You know, one day it'll happen and despite having expected it, it’ll be the greatest heartbreak of them all. 

“Thinking ‘bout somethin’?” he sounds a bit more awake.

“When am I not?” you shake your head and laugh hoping he doesn't notice that it isn't real, thankful that the curtains didn't let in any moonlight and that you had turned off the lights.

“What is it?” but this is Steve, he doesn’t need to see you to know how you’re feeling.

“Nothing.”

“Were you lying about liking the pasta I made?”

“No, Steve it was good”, a real laugh slips out of you, and you finally look at him. He’s leaning on his elbow, the messy head of hair in his hand, looking down at you. You suddenly wish it wasn’t so dark so you could see the colour of his eyes, the moles and freckles on his skin.

“Then what?”

“Nothing.” your gaze moves back to the ceiling.

“Must be something if it's keeping you up”, you feel him shift closer to you. He smells of fresh shower, mint, shaving cream and washed laundry. 

“No, I'm just….  not sleepy.”

“Yeah?”, he raises his eyebrows with a sly smirk, “Well, I know a way to make you sleepy”, he leans down– both arms caging you in, landing a kiss on your neck before trailing further up to your lips. and its lovely, so god damn lovely, you don't want it to stop but this hurts.

“Ste– mmph– Steve stop”, you turn your face away, because if he keeps going, you think you'll cry, palm pushing flat against his bare chest, “I’m– I'm not in the mood.”

“Okay, I'm sorry”, he moves back onto his one elbow. The silence gestates for a while, you can feel his eyes on you. The ticking of the clock is the only thing heard through the room before he softly says, “Hey, please tell me what's happening?”

“Nothing”, you shook your head, “I’m just tired.”

“You just said you're not sleepy.”

“J– just go back to sleep okay? sorry for waking you up”, you turn onto your side, face away from him. 

He sidles up behind you after a second or two, warm breath across the back of your neck, you squeeze your eyes shut. “yeah, like that's gonna put me to sleep", he mutters behind you.

His arms snake around your waist, pulling you in closer, “C'mon, you know I wont be able to sleep after fighting”, burying his nose in your hair– he sighed.

“Did you just sniff my hair?”

“Yeah, I do all the time. smells s’good."

"You pervert", you both laugh lightly at that, your hand going for his around your waist, before your smiles fall and silence takes over once again. 

You lick your drying lips, you forgot to put on lip balm again, “We’re not fighting, Steve.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

You take in a deep breath in, fingers drawing patterns on the back of his hand, you breath out, “m’sorry.”

His arms squeeze tighter around you, he lets out a quick sigh before placing a kiss on your shoulder, “I’ll forgive you if you tell me what’s going on with you.”

“Steve…”, your voice trails off, you're not even sure what you were going to say.

“Is it— Is it your…. Uh, that time of the month?”

That makes you want to roll your eyes at him and smack his chest but you restrain yourself, you’re not sure if you want him to see your eyes right now anyway. Instead, you sigh,  “I had it last week, Steve.”

You got it in this very same bed. Awoken by cramps in the middle of the night. and Steve, your lovely Steve had given you a hot water bag while he took off the sheets and put on fresh new ones and then gave you a soft massage that put you to sleep.

“right... yeah, sorry," he says all sheepish, “So what is it then? Did someone say somethin’ at work?”

“No.”

“Did I.. " he hesitated a little, "did I say something?”

“...no”, you curse yourself for pausing before saying it.

“I did, didn't I?”

“No, no. you–”

“honey, you should tell me if I ever say stupid shit– you should call me out immediately–”

“You didn't say anything stupid or whatever. I'm the one who's being stupid.”

his hold on you loosened, he shifted back to give you space to turn around, “What did I say? Hey, look at me,” you finally turn in his hold, facing him “what did I say?”

“We’d have the cutest little kids, won't we?”

“..what?” You stood infront of the kitchen sink. your hands stopped their scrubbing at the pot you were washing. You tilted your head towards him who had his head rested on your shoulder, his arms around your waist.

“Little Harringtons”, you could hear the smile on his lips.

“Harringtons?”

“Or maybe we get our names hyphenated. That works too, it’d be cute”, his hands hold your waist, his duty of drying the plates abandoned. “They’d have my fabulous hair, and your pretty, pretty eyes– cutest kids around the block”

“Our kids?” you repeated dumbly.

“Yeah, and six of ‘em. six little nuggets. They’ll make up half of a football team”, he giggled, warm air hitting the side of your face, “Doesn’t that sound lovely?” he smiled at you.

“...yeah. Yeah, it does.” you smiled back at him which only made him grin wider. His arms tighten around you again, and lips start a trail from behind your ears to down your neck.

You scoffed softly "You’re supposed to help me wash dishes you filthy animal." 

“Oh, fine,” he gave you an over dramatic sigh, before his hands left your sides, skin feeling lonely as ever.

“No, it's fine. I’m almost done anyway", you went back to scrubbing at the bottom of the pot, "Just go and take a shower, you reek.”

“Alright, fine, I’ll go!” he groaned, playfully as a kid, before he leaned against the counter, looking at you with his ‘Harrington charm’. His voice is silky when he asks, “Will you join me?”

“Steve." you said it almost as a warning.

“I don’t hear a no.”

“Okay then, no.”

“Tomorrow morning…?”

“I have an early shift tomorrow, you horndog.”

“We'll make it work.”

“No.”

“Okay", he sighs, “come up quickly though, I wanna be the big spoon today”, pecking your cheek before leaving for the shower upstairs.

Looking at him, you brush the now mostly dry hair falling on his forehead, tucking it behind his ear. Your fingers lingered there, you smile, “nothing, Steve.”  your thumb rubs back and forth on the apple of his cheeks. “You didn’t say anything. it's stupid.”

His hand reaches up to hold your fingers in place, he turns his head a little to kiss your knuckles, “okay, I didn't say anything” he kisses your knuckles again, gaze stuck to your face, “but could you tell me what it is you think you’re being stupid about?”

God, I love him, you think. “Don't worry about it”, your voice barely a whisper as you attempt to give him a smile. You move closer, planting a slow kiss on his lips which are so much softer than yours– he never forgets his chapstick.

And god, you needed this, your brain stops when you kiss him. thoughts quelled and its quiet again. After some time though, your throat starts to burn and your chest is on the verge of a sob. So, when you pull away, you fail to hide the stuttered breath that you take in.

Steve knew there was something to worry about, but when he hears your breath that almost sounds like a sob, he’s immediately on high alert. Before he can brush your hair out of your face to look at you, really look at you, you bury your face in his chest.

It takes him a second to realize that you’re crying and it breaks his heart because you’re trying to hide it.

“Baby..” he feels you curl in further, your face warm against his skin. He moves to pull you in closer, palm holding the back of your head. He just wanted to take away whatever it was that was bothering you. He tried to pull away to get a look at your face to help you calm down but you wouldn't let him. He settles on carding his fingers through your hair, rubbing circles on the little sliver of exposed skin between your t-shirt and shorts, hoping it gives you some sort of comfort.

"Honey", it is then that you finally let in a shaky breath. he feels the skin where you hid your face get wet maybe with tears, sweat, snot, he didn't care-- he just wanted to take all your pain away.

You both stay that way, and you're suprised by how much you sob, how hard you heave. You weren't sure how long you stayed that way, maybe minutes, maybe hours, however long. It feels like forever.

At this moment, encased in Steve's arms, breath hot against his skin, despite the nose plugged with snot, lashes clumped with tears, eyes squinted shut, you think this is comfortable. Yet it hurts. Because you'll have to pull away. It hurts so damn much because you know how this can go, you know it can hurt so, so much more. You know it will hurt.

You want this to last forever, however fucking long one of those is.

So, you hold on longer because, you’re selfish with your love for Steve. You're selfish because despite the heartache, you’ll have him, for as long as you can.

His hold on you gentle yet firm, as if afraid he'd break you. In your head, he already had. He tries to pull away again, to look at you but you can't. Your eyes still squinted close, willing it all to be a stupid dream. “Honey, I promise you whatever it is, you can tell me”, he says, voice soft as feather. Of course it's not a dream.

Your tongue betrays you, “Its…s–” stupid. Silly. It really doesn't feel stupid or silly, but god, you're so scared that you can't say it, you didn't want to say it because if you do it’ll come true, wont it?

“Whatever it is that you think is stupid," he assured you as if he could read your mind, "I still want to hear it because I know I won't think it's stupid."

suddenly it burns, and you need air. you sit up and try not to think about how ridiculously not pretty you probably look with snot running down your face, “What if- what if we- we end up hating each other?” you manage to say through hiccups.

“What?” he sits up as well, he says as if you had said the most ridiculous thing, “I'll never hate you, honey.”

For some reason, tears fill your eyes again at that, “Steve, you don’t know that.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“No. Ste– people fall out of love, Steve- all the- all the time.” It terrifies him how convinced you sound of it.

“Do..... do you think you’ll fall out of love with me?”

The question startles you, its evident in your wide eyes, “Wha– what?”

“Do you think… you’ll fall out of love with me?" he repeats, "You think you’ll hate me?”

You shake your head, the tear that had been sitting on your lower lash finally slides down your already tear-stained cheek.

“Good." he wipes the wet trails left behind with his thumb, "then, why would I hate you?”

Your face twists into an expression that Steve wasn't sure what to describe it as. a deep frown on your lips, chin wobbly, brows scrunched up together, eyes red and tired yet nostrils flared. “‘Cause", you start but before you could continue another sob leaves you. you look down at your lap, trying to catch your breath. it takes you a minute before you begin again, "do you remember.... what you said about our kids?”

He nods, heart clenching at the way your voice breaks, “I don't think I can… do that”, he doesn't think he's ever heard you sound so broken. “I– I don't think if I– if I want that.”

He sits silent and you think this is it. maybe forevers aren't that long after all.

More tears fall, more sobs leave you, you don't bother to wipe them. What's it matter anyway? He hates you already. He's probably thinking of a way to let you down easily because he is kind like that “Honey.. I want a family..” you feel your heart ripping in two and you just can't look at him.

“And I want you to be a part of that family. I– I want you to be the person I built a family with, no matter the size." He wipes at both your cheeks again, making you look at him, "even if its just us.”

The relieved smile he expected from you isn't there, instead, you frown, the crease between your brows deepens. the part that hurt the most was that you push his hands away, “you’re saying that now, but what happens when years down the line, when we’re old, you– you end up resenting me. Y- you love me right now, I know. But how do you know you wont end up hating me like, ten years later?”

“I dont want to watch you grow old and hate me and then leave me, Steve. I’d rather end this now if we’re destined to just end up unhappy together.”

“We’re not. Okay? We’re not. I know I wont hate you, ever.” He reaches for your hands again. He kisses your fingers before continuing, “And I know that I want you, just you and whatever that– that that comes with. We could never have kids and I would never hate you for it.”

“You won't be happy", you say meekly, like he'd be mad at you for speaking what was on your mind to him, “You wont hate me but you wont be happy either”, you muttered, chin ducked into your chest.

“Honey”, he hooks a finger under your chin, tilting your head to make you look at him, to make you understand. “you’re what I need to be happy. You make me happy. And.. I’d hope you need me to be happy too”, a wet chuckle escapes you at that. A hint of a smile on your face despite the tears.

“You do, don’t you?” he clarified with a soft smile of himself.

You nod, "yeah", letting out a loud sniffle.

“Good. I know its scary but you’ve gotta put your trust in me. Trust me enough to believe in me when I say that you are what makes me happy. and I am happy."

He wipes away gently at your face, ridding it of the tear stains, “Sometimes, you’ve just gotta trust. I promise I’ll never break it.” 

You sob again but it's lighter than before, you wrap your arms around his neck and feel the weight you felt get lifted, you sniffle into the crook of his neck, "thank you."

You feel his lips on your hairline, "Let's go back to sleep, yeah?"

"Yeah. You still wanna be the big spoon?"

"yeah, I think you need to be the little spoon today." he pulls you down with him, your back to his chest, kissing the skin behind your ear he finally settles in beside you.

You call out his name, he hums in response. "how long do you think a forever is?"

"I don't know, honey."

"Can we stay like this forever?"

"Um.. if you mean us staying forever then yes, definitely forever. But, if you meant me being the big spoon forever, baby, I'm not sure if I'll be able to commit to that."

You laugh, "I love you." you confess.

"I love you too."

Sorry if this is a bit specific but do you think you could write something for Trent where you’re both dating and you’re an England footballer’s sister, and then they interview your brother and Trent together whilst you’re in the room and bring you up and it’s quite fluffy (that probably made no sense) 💕💕

Blush

DISCLAIMER: Apologies this took so long even though it's so short, poorly written and I hate it! but the request was so cute!

Word Count: 1.2k

Fluff

'What time are you guys filming that video?' You asked, watching your boyfriend and brother playing a game of Fifa, after they promised you it was their last round 3 rounds ago..

You were currently at St. George's park with them for the day, with a bunch of other players' family being present too for an event, but right now you were frustrated they weren't showing you any attention, locking you in the gaming room with them to watch.

'Helloo?' You called, playfully kicking them in the back.

'Soz babe, we're supposed to be doing it now I think.' Replied Trent, now feeling defeated as Jadon had just won.

'You're a cheat you.' He complained, as you began to laugh watching Jadon rub it in his face.

'I'm just too good, tell him Y/n.' Said Jadon, nudging you.

'Don't get ahead of yourself mate, remember I beat you every time.' You joked, provoking laughter from Trent who began to tease him.

You'd been with Trent just over a year now, having been introduced accidentally by your little brother Jadon. You couldn't say he was the happiest to find out you were together, with it definitely taking some time for him to get used to, eventually paying off as him and Trent were now the closest they'd ever been, making you almost jealous as your brother had stolen your boyfriend off of you.

The social media memes and jokes didn't help either, especially since you were a huge Liverpool fan, finding it awkward when United would play them, cheering both of them on but hoping for one winner, your boyfriend and your team.

'Shit we need to go.' Reminded Jadon, as you all left the room for them to be filmed.

They were filming a segment of 'Roommates' where they'd answer questions about each other, leaving you sat in the corner to enjoy the whole thing, fighting back your giggles when the two of them would overreact on getting a question wrong.

'Who is Trent's favourite artist, A: Kanye B: Drake C: Adele..' Read your brother, and you wished you could answer it for him because it was so obvious.

'Hmm, I can imagine him listening to all 3, but I'm gonna say Kanye.' Answered Jadon, as it was time for Trent to react.

'It's Adele man!' Explained Trent, Jadon in disbelief.

'Is that true? Are you heartbroken bro?' Pushed Jadon, making everyone in the room laugh.

'I won't stand for any Adele slander, and I literally went to her concert last month, sent you pics.' He tutted.

'Oh yeah, when you and Y/n went together?' Asked Jadon, receiving confirmation.

'You introduced Y/n and Trent didn't you Sanch?' Asked a player, walking by and eavesdropping on the interview, making you a bit uncomfy as you were unsure what the two would say, with both you and Trent having your relationship very private from the start.

'Shall I just tell the story then?' Asked Jadon, with the crew and other players cheering him on to do it, making you roll your eyes as you knew your brother loved being a story-teller, you and your boyfriend sat still listening, and you couldn't help but admire how shy he got.

'Well, we were playing Liverpool, and I was having a talk with Trentski after the match...'

'Then Y/n comes over to talk to me, and completely blows me off for Trent.' Explains your brother, making Trent burst out laughing.

'No it did not happen like that!' You playfully interjected, your face not in the video and only your voice.

'Let me finish! So she completely ignores me and starts telling Trent about how amazing his performance was... then 2 months later they're a thing.' Added Jadon.

'You did it to yourself man.' Smirked Trent, as the conversation went on a little longer. He looked over to see you smiling, with you still a bit unsure about this being posted on the England YouTube channel, hoping it'd be edited out. He gave you a little nod and thumbs up, as a way to tell you it's fine, and reassured you it wouldn't be a big deal, before you left them to finish the shooting, wandering over to the snacks table.

'Hey baby.' You heard a voice say, realising it was Trent wrapping his arms around you, as you were more focused on which cupcake to pick.

'You all done?' You asked, caressing his arm, the two of you weren't fans of PDA but you had missed your boyfriend today, not really caring at the moment.

'Yep, you ready to leave?'

'Yes please, where's Jadon?' You asked, aware you were his ride home too.

'Ah here he comes.' Said Trent, both of you watching him toddle over to you guys.

'We gonna get going then?' Questioned your brother, and you got your car keys ready for the lengthy journey back to Manchester.

Both of them were now sat in the car with you, with Trent in the passenger seat too tired to drive, and Sanch in the back already passed out from exhaustion, even though all they did was play Fifa the whole day.

'He looks just like you y'know.' Observed Trent, turning his back to see Jadon with his mouth wide open snoring away.

'Oi, watch it!' You joked, playfully slapping his arm.

'What? Not a bad thing he's a beautiful guy.' Said Trent.

'Starting to think you fancy him more than me now.' You bantered, making Trent put his hand on your thigh.

'Nah not yet, but I have to say I do love that kid a lot, without him I wouldn't have known you.' He said, making you blush.

------

A week went by, the video was finally out, and you and Trent made sure to watch it immediately.

Most parts were cut out, making the video way shorter than the hour it actually took to film it, but of course, the part about your relationship was kept in, and you dreaded opening the comments to see people's opinions.

'Sancho is the real wingman.' Said one person.

'They've got the best bromance.' Said another.

'Wish my mate would set me up with his sister.' You repeated, reading one of the comments that the two of you found hilarious. Most of the comments were extremely supportive, all of them finding it adorable that Jadon was the reason for your relationship, being in awe of you both.

'This one's me favourite, "gonna be awkward when they break up" but we're not gonna break-up babe.' Said Trent.

'I'd hope not, I think Jadon would be the most heartbroken.' You explained, shutting your laptop as you'd read almost all of the comments.

'Oh he would would he?' Trent said, teasing you.

'Yes, yes he would, because he loves you like a brother.' You told him, seeing Trent's face light up.

'That's sweet that, he doesn't have to worry though because luckily I love his sister even more.' He revealed, puckering his lips like a child for you to kiss, making you giggle like a fool.

The video soon blew up, with it gaining tons of new likes, views and comments, a majority still positive but the minority not being able to stand the three of you, only providing entertainment for your lazy night in as you re-read their negative comments and laughed, no one knowing how strong your relationship was but you guys.

One Year Later - Part 8

Masterlist

Summary: You and the Mandalorian had been through so much together. You’d become a mother to his foundling and a partner to him. You were in love and you didn’t think that anything could ruin that but after Din hands the child over to his kind. Things fall apart.

Pairings: Din Djarin x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3, I have chosen not to leave warnings for this chapter as I don’t want to give the plot away. Read at your own peril… unless you’re under 18… in that case, jog on! 😘

Notes: So…. soz this took so long. This chapter was particularly hard for me to write as elements of it are close to me as I've been struggling to similar issues. I hope this was worth the wait and I will try update this a little sooner than I have. A little shorter but I didn't feel like this particular chapter needed to be longer

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

You threw the scanner away angrily, desperately trying to keep your tears at bay so that Din wouldn't hear you. The reading it had given you was the same one it had given you for the last four months.

You weren't pregnant.

You knew these things took time but you didn't understand why you'd gotten pregnant by accident with Mae yet now you were actively trying it wasn't happening. You were so sure this time. The symptoms had all been there and you were late… over a week yet the scanner didn’t lie.

You weren’t looking forward to telling Din that you still weren’t pregnant, the disappointment in his eyes after each failed attempt was heartbreaking.

It had been six months since you’d started. Six months of hopes being dashed each time the scanner told you no. Din had been good about it all at the start. Telling you it was okay and that it would happen when the time was right but he’d also started to withdraw.

You looked up to see him limp into the home you both shared, his expression weary from a day's work in the ponds. He’d gotten to work as soon as he was able and you’d been glad of the distraction it gave him. Something to take his mind off of all this.

“Where’s Mae?” He asked as he looked around for his daughter.

“With Winta and the other kids. Omera’s keeping an eye on them.” You replied and he nodded before his eye caught sight of the scanner that you’d haphazardly thrown across the room and his shoulders slumped.

He didn’t ask but you knew he knew and your heart sank a little further as you watched him clean himself up.

“Din-“

“It’ll happen when it happens.” He said simply and you sighed.

“What if it never does?”

He stopped to look at you. Tears formed in his eyes as his lips started to form the words he was about to say.

“Then it wasn’t meant to be.” He replied before limping into your shared bedroom to change his clothes.

You sighed to yourself as your eyes drifted to the scanner. Your hand, absentmindedly, settled over your empty womb. You wished you could give Din the thing he now so desperately craved. You hated what this was doing to you both because the truth of the matter was it was impossible to tell why it wasn’t happening. It hadn’t helped that as each month went by, you were less intimate with each other. You knew it wasn’t something you could force but it was a vital part of what you were trying to accomplish.

After having a little cry. You composed yourself and went about preparing dinner for your family. When Din was changed and bathed he went to collect Mae, not even a glance was thrown your way as he made his way out of the hut and into the evening light. You felt a pang of anger surge through you at his behaviour towards you and you started to wonder… Does he blame you for this?

When he returned with Mae, he placed her in her seat before taking one himself as you threw down a plate of food for him before taking yours outside, not wanting to eat in his presence.

Din watched you leave. His heart ached in his chest at your coldness towards him but he supposed he deserved it. He didn’t know how to be towards you. He hated that he couldn’t give you a child and he knew in his soul that it was his fault. It was obvious to him that he was the problem. He was sure his accident was to blame for his inability to give you another child.

He watched Mae as she fed herself, unable to comprehend how far she’d come since he first laid eyes on her. She had grown so much in the short time she’d been around and he was so proud of the little person she’d grown to be. She was a kind soul, always worrying over him when he stumbled or showed any sign of discomfort. For someone so small, nothing slipped her notice.

When he put Mae down, he made his way outside where you were sitting there tearful in your chair. His heart shattered at the sight. He hated to see you cry. Hated to inflict any pain on you but this situation was hurting you both. So perhaps it was time to call quits.

“What do you want Din?” You asked, noticing him hovering just out of sight.

“I think we need to stop.” He stated and your head whipped up.

“Stop what?” You asked, your tone a little panicked.

“It’s clear to me that another baby isn’t an option for us so I think it’s best we stop trying.” He said plainly and your heart twisted “It hurts too much.”

“Okay.” You replied simply, nodding lamely before looking over at the sunset in the distance.

“Okay?” He asked, unsure of how you truly felt at that moment.

“Okay.” You repeated, shrugging your shoulders.

“You agree?” He pushed and you sighed.

“If you don't want another baby then fine. We'll stop trying.” You scoffed “You clearly aren't that bothered about it as you need to be intimate to make a child and we seldom are anymore. Then when I tell you I'm not pregnant you just tell me it’ll happen when it happens or it wasn't meant to be as.”

“I want a baby.” He choked “More than anything, you know that but it’s just not happening and I can’t bear seeing how it hurts you.”

“It hurts me more when you ice me out.” You scoffed “I’m sorry I can’t get pregnant but-“

“I don’t blame you.” He interrupted and your mouth snapped shut “It’s clear my accident is to blame for this and I’m sorry that I can’t give you another baby.” He sobbed “I wish I could but…” He trailed off, tears slipping down his cheeks and your expression softened at that.

“Maybe we should stop.” You said softly as you gave him a small nod “I don’t want this to tear us apart.”

“I don’t want that either.” He confirmed and you gave him a weak smile before gathering your crockery and getting to your feet.

“Then we’re in agreement.” You said simply before walking inside.

Din knew you. Knew you weren’t happy with this situation but he knew he couldn’t keep getting his hopes up, only for them to fall to pieces again. He still believed that if it was meant to be it would happen in time but for now… It was best to just stop trying.

~

A few weeks passed and you and Din didn’t broach the subject of another baby again. The two of you returned to a form of normal. You focus your energy on the family you did have. Instead of the family, you longed for… And that helped you to a degree.

Then in the blink of an eye, two months had gone by and it seemed like that pain had all but dissipated. That was until Kira in the village fell pregnant and suddenly all that hurt returned. You were happy for her of course. Recently married and was completely in love but as her pregnancy progressed, it started to get hard to be happy for her.

You started to withdraw, spending less time with her and your female friends who couldn’t help but coo over her as she started to show more and more. You felt bitterness towards her and despite knowing it was wrong, you couldn’t help it. Kira had been one of your closest friends. She’s supported you through your pregnancy and you’d be lying if you said you could have done it without her. Yet when she went through hers, you found it almost impossible to give her that same support you gave her.

Din noticed and called you upon it. Told you it was selfish how you were behaving and you knew he was right yet still you couldn’t help it. The pain you felt was just too much to bear and so you chose to close yourself off from it.

From the people, you called your friends.

Omera could see you were struggling yet still found herself angry at you. It wasn’t Kira’s fault yours and Din's attempts to get pregnant had come to nought. She didn’t deserve to suffer because you were jealous of her circumstances. So when Kira has felt the baby move for the first time and you’d just walked away, she decided enough was enough.

“You’ve been terrible to Kira!” She stated, following you into your home.

“What?” You snapped, turning on your heels to face her.

“She’s going through something so exciting and you want zero part of it.” She snapped, her eyes wide and angry “She supported you through it all. She deserves the same from you.”

“Omera I-“

“I’m sorry your attempts to get pregnant were frivolous but that doesn’t give you the right to push her away.”

“I can stand there and be happy for her when it hurts so much.” You yelled as you choked on a sob “I wanted another baby so much and then each month we came up empty and it just killed me inside.” You sobbed “It’s hard to be happy for someone who’s getting something you want so badly.”

“I understand that.” Omera sighed but you groaned.

“Din just decided to stop trying altogether.” Stated and you sighed “To the point where he doesn’t want to be physical at all.”

Omera couldn’t hide the shock that spread across her face.

“We sleep separately now.” You sobbed “He doesn’t love me anymore. I'm sure of it and I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this Omera.”

“I don’t-“

“I wish we’d never started trying.” You cried, almost frantically now “If we’d never started we wouldn’t be so broken right now.”

“These sorts of situations can be the making or breaking of relationships,” Omera confessed “You get so in your head about it that it consumes you.”

"I love him."

"I know" She replied softly "And he loves you."

You scoffed at her reply and she sighed, scraping a hand over her tired face.

"I am sure that he does." She continued after a short pause "But he is clearly not dealing with this very well." You snorted and she felt her patience wear thin at "Talk to him." She said plainly before turning to leave "Before you lose everyone."

Your jaw dropped as you watched her leave, mind whirring as you thought about her statement. You knew you'd been selfish but you couldn't help it. You felt like your life was falling apart and you had no way of stopping it.

…

You watched Din potter around the house, poking his head in to check on Mae before finally allowing himself to take a seat on his cot in the living area and throwing his tired face into his hands.

"What happened to us?" You asked after a few tense moments.

"What?" He asked, looking up at you as his brows knitted together.

"We were happy." You choked, eyes not wavering "Then we started trying and the longer we've gone on, unsuccessful, the more I feel like perhaps you don't love me anymore."

"What gives you that impression?" He snapped and you scoff at his obvious cluelessness.

"Well, we don't even share a bed anymore for a start." You state, letting out a sturred breath before continuing "You fuck me like once a week but there's no love in your touches anymore." You continue, unable to hide the tears now "It's not pleasurable. You don't make me cum but of course, you always do."

His face remains stoic as you speak. Not giving you any clues as to what he's thinking or how he's feeling about what it is you're saying.

"If you don't love me anymore Din then please just tell me now." You sobbed, your heart breaking as you speak "But please don't just up and leave me again. You can't just leave Mae."

"I would never-"

"You did once before." You sobbed and he let out a sigh.

"Are you seriously still holding that against me?" He snapped "I proved to you how sorry I was… I almost died proving to you how sorry I was." He growled, his own eyes now filling with tears "I lost my ability…"

He couldn't finish that sentence and you sighed.

"You can walk now Din." You stated, "You're getting stronger every day but-"

"That's not what I meant" He stated and your brows drew together.

"It can't be a coincidence that I have an accident that leaves me paralysed and then suddenly I can't get the woman I love pregnant." He choked and your heart broke for him "It's obvious that I'm the problem."

"Din… It's not your fault." You said softly, in the hope that it would bring him some semblance of comfort but it did little to calm the waters that were raging within him "These things take time… Mae was obviously a flook."

"Or I'm infertile now." He choked and your heart broke for him.

Of course, he blamed himself for this. Not you were hearing it, it seemed obvious that he'd been withdrawn because he was ashamed. Ashamed that he couldn't get you pregnant.

"Perhaps it really is for the best that we stop trying for another." You said after a few tense moments of silence, your eyes softening "It's just hurting us both and Din… I don't want to lose you again."

"I don't want to lose you either."

"Then come back to me."

Next

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Star Watchers - Young Eddie x best friend (no gender)

A/N: hey! Back with another one shot fic! It's got a twist! Don't mine always? Hah. Also technically there's no gender.

Vibe: it's lighthearted, it's mischievous, it's got fun and danger, it's a little sad too.

I don't know how many works. Soz lol.

Feedback welcome lovies! [Please reblog if you liked it. I'm trying to expand my audience, thanks <3]

________

"Eddie..."

"Eddie wake up!"

"Get your ass up!"

Your hushed voice was loud in the silence of the boys sleeping quarters, trying not to wake anyone since you'd be thrown to the wolves or teachers as others called them. A few of the boys stirred and you couldn't help but wince and freeze, hoping they would fall back to sleep. Several moments passed and you shook Eddie once again which finally woke him up, Eddie was the type to be a dead man sleeping. It was so hard to wake him up usually that you would normally just give up but you couldn't pass up this opportunity.

"What?"

"Shh! Come on. I wanna show you something"

"What time is it?"

"It doesn't matter! Just come on!"

"Why? I'm tired!"

"Come on Eddie!"

You sneaked back out, trying not to wake Jason, who was in a bunk right next to the door and the last thing you needed was him finding out you were sneaking about and leaving. You waited impatiently outside the cabin, the cool summer air nipping at the bare skin of your legs. You were stupidly dressed in a pyjama shirt and unmatched, knee-length shorts. You had pulled on your well-past-worn converse where your odd socks were poking out from. You felt a cheek hit your back and Eddie's now growing buzz cut tickle your neck.

"There better be a good reason for this..." his voice tired before a yawn slipped out.

"There is. Come on you egg" You had given him the Nickname "egg" after he had his head fully shaved off. He hated it but stopped protesting since you didn't give in.

"Alright..." He sighed as you took his hand and pulled him along through the camp, and to the fence where their access forbid them.

"What. You want to break the rules? Little miss goody two shoes?"

"I'm not totally boring! Plus. There's something I think would be cool to see...but if you're too much of a wimp-"

"Hell no-! Come on. I knew my wicked ways would convert you"

"You didn't convert me! And don't tell anyone"

"I- why would I tell anyone? Who else am I going to tell? You're the only person I'm friwnd with. Dumbass"

You rolled your eyes and he pulled your with him over the fence, hearing feet on the somewhat nearby deck ans a flashlight click on.

"Shit!" Eddie's voice was quiet now as he pulled you down into a crouched position, unfortunately putting you right next to the stinging nettles, those few moments felt like hours, your heart thudding and your mind racing at the thought of being punished, you knew you'd be spanked with a nearby branch if you had to. The teachers were horrid and nobody cared. The light and footsteps faded simultaneously and you were both, once again, at one with the darkness.

"Maybe we should go back..."

"What? No. You woke me up and you're going to show me. We'll be fine. Let's go. Yeah?"

You nodded and stood, rubbing your ankles as you already felt the sting. You'd have to make up some excuse, you'd probably just say you were trying to find the toilet in the dark and walk into some nettle on the way. You wished you weren't such a terrible liar though, unlike Eddie. Master of lying and sneaking around.

You nodded to yourself, pulling Eddie along through the field and then the woody area, it took a while and Eddie seemed to grow cathouse behind you.

"Hey...how much further? Were ages away from camp now..."

"Not long. You said it would be fine."

"Yeah...but I didn't know you were taking me all the way over here!"

"Eddie it's fine. It's just over there"

Eddie groaned behind you bur a few more minutes of walking and you pulled him to your side gently. The cliff between the trees gave way to the water below and a clear sky above where the moon was full and in her beauty was the glistening water and speckled stars.

"I mean it's pretty but..."

"Just wait!"

"Wait for what-"

"Eddie! Just look"

"I am"

"Ugh! Keep looking I mean!"

"Fine." Eddie grunted and you both watched for several minutes before a shooting star zipped across the sky.

"Make a wish! Make a wish, quick!" You urged Eddie, clinging to his arm excitedly. You shut your eyes and wished, wished for something so close to your heart and sent it off with deep love.

"What did you wish for?" Eddie sly smile catching your eye and you rolled them in response.

"I wish- Ugh well I can't tell your that, can I?"

"Nearly got you"

"Did not. Not even close, idiot!" You laughed and looked down at the water. "How about taking a dip?"

"Huh? What do you mean? The lake is off bounds at night"

"No I mean down there." You corrected as you looked at the gently rippling water.

"What?! No. It's too dangerous!"

"No, it's not! It's not even that far down" you smile and walked to the edge where there was a ladder you hadn't seen. It was bolted into the cliff but it looked old.

"There's no way that'll hold! Let's just go back before we're found missing" Eddie suddenly begged but you shrugged him off.

"Don't be such a baby, Egg. You're always saying I'm no fun and I don't do anything interesting!" You stated as you cautiously tested the ladder, you were pretty high up and were dangerous for an adult let alone two twelve-year-olds. You climbed down slowly, looking up to meet Eddie's fear-filled eyes practically begging you to come back up, you laughed and motioned for him to follow you. You were nearly at the end of the latter where it had broken, something you hadn't noticed before. You looked up again to tell Eddie the new finding but the wooden step your lower foot was on snapped, a sharp scream echoing as you held on but you stepped up and tried to calm yourself.

"Come on! Come back up! I don't like this! It's too dangerous. Please come back up here and we can head back!" Eddie's voice was shaky and for a moment you wanted to give in but you were also determined to prove yourself. You shook your head and stepped down to a small ledge where a few markings were drawn into the stone, names of people who had been here before.

"See! I'm fine. Come on!" You smiled softly, waiting to see what he would do.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I'm right here Eddie. It's okay"

"Okay...just be careful..."

"I am careful"

"You're not right now-!"

"Okay look, Eddie. I'll give you my X-Men Comic as a peace offering, yeah?"

Eddie smirked as he made his decent.

"No takebacks! It's mine yeah?"

"Yeah. But you got to let me have some of your Halloween candy this year! I didn't get any without you, Lucy took all of mine" your older sister was a devil toward you when your parents were out.

"Okay deal"

"Deal. I think we'll have to hide out until morn-" You didn't get to finish that sentence, your eyes never leaving Eddie's as he stood on the ladder.

"Eddie!" The scream echoed before falling silent.

"Eddie?"

"Eds, You alright? You just wandered off...me and Steve were looking for you for the last ten minutes. Didn't you hear us?"

"No. No, Sorry." Eddie took a breath as he stared down from the top of the cliff, his jaw clenched as he tore his eyes off the gently rippling water.

"Something wrong? I know you didn't want to come on this trip but is there a reason why...?" Robin's cautious voice asked.

"No. No reason. It's fine. We should head back" Eddie smiled though his eyes lingered with every ounce of sadness imaginable. He looked back once, just once before he disappeared into the thick of the trees.

Away from home - chapter 4

Y/N is an actress, filming for her first lead role in the film adaptation of her favourite childhood book, produced by maximum effort.

She bonds with Ryan Reynolds over their share Love of the Korean pop band Stray Kids, and he has a surprise for her.

When she starts missing home and the darkness creeps upon her, her hotel neighbour comes to her rescue.

Trigger warnings- mentions of depression, self harm and anxiety

Stray kids fan fic

Mainly staring 3ratcha

But the other boys do make appearances it's just easy to keep to minimum of characters lol

Chan x oc

This is my first ever fan fiction so if it's shit soz.

He's gonna be here in like 20 minutes, so I'm cleaning up my room. Well shoving things into my wardrobe, but that's practically the same thing. I get dressed in some comfy clothes, and organise all my character work and script work on the table. I have a lot of thoughts about Tabby and her story. She's allowed me to tap into something more confident and almost powerful. I need to be more like her.

There's a knock at the door. He's five minutes early. I look through the peephole and there he is. Dressed all in black with his laptop and files. He looks so gorgeous. I hype myself up before opening the door. Don't fuck this up Y/N. You've got this!

"Hey!" I say it just a bit too loud, but he walks into my room ignoring that.

"Hey" He smiles. I lead him to the coffee table and sofa in my room. We sit down, our knees touching. That damned spark again.

"So ive had a read through the script and i think i understand most of the subtext theres a few places where id love your help!" He starts rifling through his copy of the script, hes marked places he thinks would be best paired with something unique. It looks like my script, all covered in highlighter and markings. I cant help but smile at how much he seems to be enjoying this job.

"Can i just ask why you took the job?". I ask, "not that youre not equipped for it, its just im sure you and the kids are always busy." He shifts in his seat to face me.

"I loved doing deadpool. And Ryan asked if we'd like to this film and we read the script and loved it. Unfortunately only the 3 of us could find the time to make it out here. Minho and seungmin have long-standing MCing jobs, I.Ns filming his acting debut," he leans in,"which you didn't hear from me. Hyunjin is creating a fashion line with versace, and Felix has gone back to Australia for a few months."

"Didn't you want to join him? Felix, I mean. Go back home and enjoy being with your family?" I ask

"A part of me did Yeah, but my sister Hannah's out here anyway and I've planned to see her a few times. She may even spend sometime on set with us if I can sort that out."

"Oh I'd love that!! Weirdly enough I actually found your guys music through Hannah's YouTube channel. People kept mentioning her brother so I checked out your music. Think Maniac may have been the first song I listened too." I admitted.

"I was gonna ask you about that actually. I heard you and Ryan bonded over your love of our music?"

"Yeah", I said shyly. "Kind of embarrassing, but yeah. During preproduction rehearsal for the dance scenes we'd blast your music for warm up. We actually almost used Thunderous for one of the dance routines!"

"You were really good before by the way. I forgot to say before. Me, Han and Changbin all thought you could give danceracha a run for their money." I blush. I don't know if this is him flirting but I bloody hope it is

"That's very sweet of you," for what feels like hours, but is merely seconds we hold eye contact. He then looks down at my lips and back to my eyes. I must be imagining that.

"You know what you want?" I break the gaze by pulling out the hotels room service menu.

The next few hours we spend talking about the script and characters. It feels like we've known each other for ages. He's so inspiring with his passion for his job, he's fueling the passion I have for my own. Everything we say in agreement, totally understanding the story in the same way. Dissecting the relationships and themes with such glee.

It's almost midnight by the time he leaves. I walk him to his door, a total of 4 steps from my own.

"Goodnight," i say, "I had a lot of fun!"

"Me too" He replies opening his door. "What time is your call time tomorrow?" He asks leaning against the door frame.

"Keith's picking me up at 9" I reply

"I'll message Sara to say I'm joining you, if that's cool with you?" He queries, running his hand through his slightly curly hair.

"I meet you out here at 8:50?"

"It's a date. Goodnight Y/N."

"Goodnight Christopher"

"I like that. You using my full name."

"I'll keep that in mind". We kind of just hang there in our respective door frames.

"Goodnight....I think that's the 3rd time I've said that." I laugh "ill see you in the morning" He nods and we close our doors.

I go to my bed and ring my mum to tell her about everything that's just happened. She answers but can't stay on the call for long, she's about to head off to work. I hate time differences.

Aisha! For the alphabet! She doesnt get enough love.

Hard agree, Aisha barely gets any love at all and she's such an interesting, fun character. I love doing these alphabets, they're a lot of fun, hope you like it.

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

You like to go on long walks, binge watch series together, she likes to take you to practice with her to watch, you also go to the beach club together, go to the mall to hang out, hang out in each others houses.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Aisha loves a lot of physical things about you, but mostly she loves your consideration for other people, their circumstances, their lives. She loves that you just don't judge anyone, that you treat everyone equally while also being accommodating to them, and that you don't get angry with people for not doing something your way, at your pace.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Aisha is familiar with panic attacks and feeling quite down in the dumps, she gets it, she doesn't try the "go outside maybe you'll feel better", "try exercising" rubbish that a lot of people spout. She's just a comfort, she'll just wait it out with you and try to calm you down, try to cheer you up and make you feel better, but if you can't, then she won't push it. 

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

You're both really young, ideally you just want to get through high school together, intact, college is a whole other concept right now, beyond that isn't even something you're considering. Living in the moment is much better to Aisha.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Fairly passive, her parents taught her communication and honesty is the best way and she wholeheartedly believes it, everything is discussed between you two. You make a lot of decisions as a couple and Aisha isn't really into pushing to take the lead on anything.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Forgiveness isn't something that comes easily to Aisha I don't think, it really depends on circumstances of the problem

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Aisha is grateful for things people have done for her, she's grateful to her Sensei and Miguel for helping her find her confidence, grateful to her parents, her teachers, everyone who's helped her in some way. When you do something for Aisha, you best bet she's aware of it, if you give something up to spend time with her, or you get her something, she's grateful.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Aisha is really open and honest, she doesn't believe in secrets between partners, and her parents taught her that open honesty is best in the long run, so she tells you everything. Literally.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You don't really change Aisha except to bring her a little more peace, Aisha is a fairly well balanced person. You do however push her a little to try some new things she may not have because of a low confidence. Aisha helps you a lot with personal problems.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Not really, she only gets jealous if someone is flirting with you, but even then it's a passive aggressive jealous, not full out brawling jealous. No fights just a "Hey babe" and an arm around you.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

She takes super good care of her lips, they're always soft and moisturized, no dry cracked kisses for you. Considering her first kiss was you, she's pretty good, they can be a little clumsy, but you can work on that.

Your first kiss was pretty simple, closed mouths, just a press of lips before pulling back to look at each other.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

The gap between the realisation of feelings and the confession was pretty big, a couple of months. She told Miguel about it, not knowing what to do, and the advice was to just go for it. So she took a while to build up the courage, then asked you to go out to a cafe after practice to talk, so over a cup of tea (I'm a tea drinker, soz guys) she told you. It was quite simple, there was really no misunderstanding when she said that she had feelings for you.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

I guess in future, you're teenagers rn so it isn't something she's thinking super hard about. If she were to propose though it would be really cute and private. Being married to Aisha would be so easy, she's so level headed and sensible, plus she takes no shit, though sometimes you'll have to de escalate a situation if someone really offends her.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Mostly it's just a shortening of the name, she uses Babe a lot though.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

She's pretty much the same, outwardly she doesn't change that much, it's obvious you two are dating, but it isn't an in your face "look at me, here I am" ordeal. It's a cute, sweet, easy relationship. Aisha is very forward with her feelings, because bottling it up does nothing, and her parents taught her that honestly really is best.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Aisha is super proud of you, when you started dating you kept it just to close friends knowing, then a few weeks later everyone knew. Low-key brags about you at the dojo and to her parents. Has zero fear of showing any kind of affection in public.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Aisha just KNOWS stuff, she just knows, she can deduce things from a glance, and you get to nonverbal communication very quickly in your relationship.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Aisha is super romantic at heart, Valentine's day is always going to be a treat, she does the cliche stuff, but is also very creative with romancing you. Aisha would do anything, barring a few extremes, to make you happy, and it really shows.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Aisha will go above and beyond to support you in anything and everything, she will always want you to succeed and be happy.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Your relationship is spicy enough with Karate war 2 going on, you're happy just as you are, you don't need to go cliff diving together or jump out of a plane to feel closer.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Aisha knows you better than you know yourself, when something is wrong she knows what it is and how to fix it before you do 70% of the time. She's insanely empathetic towards you, she just gets you, and because of past bullying, she understands a lot of negative feelings and what they could lead to. She's a great source of stress release.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

To Aisha, your relationship is really important, not only are you partners, you're also best friends, confidants. Your relationship definitely places in the tied top 3. Comparability to material things, possibly water, your friendship, your love is a necessity to survival.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Aisha loves it when you play with her hair, she almost never lets anyone touch it, pretty much just you and her mother, but she loves it when you play with it and help her care for it. It's a pretty big sign of trust and love from Aisha.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Somewhat, Aisha just really loves being in your presence, there's a lot of heads on shoulders, sitting close, walking with fingers linked. But you're not the kind that spoons watching tv, or makes out 24/7.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

You're both very chill in the relationship, even though you spend pretty much every day together you can still go a while without seeing each other and just text. If you're really really missing each other though, you both have a stuffy from the other, and you facetime/skype a lot.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Aisha would run into a burning building for you, she would go to the ends of the earth and back again just to see you smile because she knows you'd do the same for her. She defends you against every besmirching of your name.

River lead me home | 01

Characters: Seokjin x Reader

Word count: 9.2k

Synopsis:  Ever since coming to the human realm when you were child, nothing seems to fit, and this was just supposed to be a simple roadtrip to help you find yourself.

Is that too much to ask for?

Spin-off to A long journey home

Rating: Teens

Notes: You guys are gonna laugh... I tried to upload this yesterday but it screwed up and only the title got posted! Naturally I deleted the post and didn’t get a chance to fix everything up, but it’s finally here! My monster of a fic !!!! Updates will be weekly. Honestly this fic took a lot to write, and it’s been 8 whole months of working on it!!! So I hope you guys enjoy it T.T If not I won’t be made though LOL (edit: @blue1928​ forgot to tag u soz)

p.s. I AM working on the HP prompts I’m just really busy this next couple of weeks LOL

Masterlist

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 FINAL

You’ve never really been particularly fearful of getting in trouble with your mother. She has always been a sweet and timid lady, the kind who would let her daughter get away with murder. And you are an adult, even if you don’t act like it, and so it’s not like your mother can do anything other than express her disappointment with your actions. 

Kim Seokjin, on the other hand, can have you quaking in your shoes with just a look. He was your nextdoor neighbour growing up, even before you all fled your home realm. He has since moved out of his parents’ home into his own apartment to pursue his dream as a doctor (and to take home as many lady friends as he likes without his parents’ knowledge), but he is still very much a stern presence in your life, even as one of your closest friends. He likely feels responsible for you, since though the two of you were young when you were driven into the human world, he is three years older. He did once refer to you as something like an untrained puppy, which you guess is very reflective of how he views you. The result of such feelings of responsibility is him trying his best to fulfill all the duties of being your legal guardian despite having no obligation to do so. The effect is him being terrifyingly stern with you, despite him being a calm, good-humoured guy with everyone else he meets.

Which is why, when you wake up in a hospital bed with your leg wrapped in a cast, you know that today is the day Kim Seokjin kills you. If the job interview that you completely messed up isn’t enough motive for him to seek you out, then the fact that you tried to stop a purse snatcher and ended up breaking your leg in the ensuing scuffle after said thief’s motorcycle fell on you most certainly is. 

In your defence, it wasn’t like you could just leave them be! Yes, you had not been back to your home realm once in the thirteen years since you and every other guardian were driven out, but at your core, you like to think you are still a Guardian. And so, as is custom, you cannot turn down a plea for help. And the young woman screaming in distress as a man on a motorcycle drove past and snatched her purse straight off her shoulder had certainly sounded like a plea for help! Really, Jin should be impressed, because the ensuing chase was something straight out of a movie, what with you in hot pursuit on your own bike (the one both your mother and Jin do not know you own). And you totally would have gotten the purse back if it wasn’t for the slight motorcycle crash. You’re not exactly sure what you hit since the events are a little blurry, but whatever it was, it ended up knocking you out and breaking your leg. 

A slight commotion breaks out at the entrance to the room and by the way onlookers swoon, you know that your time on earth is up. For the only person that can stir such a reaction upon entering a room is Kim Seokjin himself. Guardians naturally fit most of the qualifiers of what humans consider attractive, but even by Guardian standards, Jin is ridiculously handsome. Even though you find him boring and the biggest nag to walk the planet, not even you are immune to his disarming good looks. You could probably sense his aura blindfolded and your eyes are always drawn to him in a crowd and so you easily pinpoint him amongst the crowd of onlookers before he spots you. Today is his day off and so he does not wear his usual doctor’s gown. Instead a well fitted button up shirt and trousers highlights the broadness of his shoulders and the elegance of his figure as he strolls through the room as if he owns it. You recognise the style- that particular combination of button up and trousers are his date clothes. Your heart plummets when you recognise the outfit. Jin will be extra irritated about having to check on you in the hospital on his day off. Why did the paramedics have to take you here of all places? You’ve really signed your life away this time.

He pauses to smile at a nurse who passes by and she is immediately dazzled. Though he is no doubt furious with you, and is frequently irritated by your shenanigans, to the rest of the world he is charming and funny and good-tempered. You watch the exchange with curiosity- the nurse laughs at something Jin says and there’s a faint flush to her cheeks. You will probably never have such an exchange with Jin- even if he relaxed enough to make a joke in your presence, it would probably be at your expense. Jin’s taste in women is very obvious- he likes women that match him in beauty, ones that are fantastic at making you feel like a potato in comparison despite your guardian heritage, however unintentionally. Something in you twinges at the thought- you wouldn’t mind having a normal relationship with Jin. One where he smiles at you and makes jokes and actually enjoys your presence. But he’ll probably never view you like that- he’s made it very clear throughout your friendship what you are to him.

The nurse points in your direction and takes Jin’s distraction as an opportunity to trail her gaze appreciatively over his figure, settling on his profile. She must be new to the hospital if this is the first time that she is experiencing what Jin’s coworkers at the hospital describe as the “Jin effect”. Any humans (and most guardians for that matter) who meet him instantly succumb to his charisma and absurdly handsome face and find themselves desperately in love. This nurse is no exception and you decide to utilise the momentary distraction she has provided Jin when she attempts to get his number by attempting to slide off your bed and scurry away.

A tug at the back of your collar has you stiffening. If this were a movie, there would be an uneasy swell of high-tension violin as you turn your head to find Jin has grabbed the back of your shirt to stop your slow escape. He must have utilised a spot of enhanced guardian speed to be able to cross the room so quickly. The violins in your head begin to screech in terror. Jin merely smiles and it is eerily charming. His cheeks puff out and his lips curl in a way that would dazzle the average onlooker but you see the lethal intent in his eyes. You barely manage to hold back a fearful shudder.

“Nurse Jo!” He calls, and his tone is playful and sweet which contrasts directly with the venom in his dark pupils. In their depths you can foresee your death. “It seems one of our patients is trying to escape.” His tone darkens and drops on the last word and you flinch, preparing for the end.

Only it never comes, and you find Jin hoisting you up by the back of your shirt and with the help of security rushing forward they wrangle you back into bed. They do well- the average human doesn’t stand much chance against the superior strength of a guardian, and you are currently fighting for your life. But with Jin in the mix, they have you strapped to your bed in no time, forced to listen to whatever longwinded and painful lecture Jin has prepared for you

He stands at your bedside, arms folded across his chest. You mentally write your will in your mind- Taehyung can have your Nintendo switch and his girlfriend can go through your clothes and take any that she likes. Your mother gets anything worth more than $20 in your bedroom (though she might be searching for a while to find such an item, if it even exists) and Seokjin can get custody of your evil cat. Maybe it’ll scratch his stupidly handsome face up and you can get revenge from beyond the grave. 

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Jin asks, and his voice is surprisingly calm. You look away, scratching at where the cast on your leg rubs at the skin of your shin. It’s stupid to wear the cast since with your enhanced healing abilities the break will be better by tomorrow, but the doctors of this world do not know that. 

You are not fooled by the almost friendly, interested tone to his voice- there is anger bubbling behind the mask of polite curiosity. Likely he is holding back to full force of his fury because this is his workplace.

“Well, I’d like to preface by saying I had no choice. Was I supposed to just let the robber go?” You say. You were attempting to placate him before elaborating on the full story, but it appears to have the opposite effect. Jin’s eyes bulge out of his head and his face goes that interesting shade of red that only appears when he’s very, very angry. 

“Robber? You took on a robber?” He says slowly, and you can tell it takes a few moments for the words to process. But gradually, the veins in his neck bulge and his eyes gradually widen and you wince as Jin erupts into what you like to call his “jants- Jin Rants.”. “Ya! Are you crazy? What were you thinking? What if you had been killed? I would have had to tell Auntie and then I would have had to organise your funeral because she would be inconsolable! If I even survived my parents trying to kill me for letting you die at the hands of a ROBBER of all people!” The impressive thing about a jant is the speed at which it is spat out. You are sure that professional rappers have nothing on the way Jin can spill out verses in a rage. He shoves a hand through his hair in distress and the ensuing messy look it generates is unfairly attractive- you think you see a middle-aged woman swoon in the hospital bed across from yours. Or faint. It’s hard to tell in a hospital. He continues screeching. “And then they’d PROBABLY make me MOVE BACK HOME as PUNISHMENT and there goes my social life! You could have ruined MY WHOLE LIFE, (Y/N)! What is wrong with you? Why do you always go making trouble like this?” It is those words, out of his whole rant, oddly enough, that causes you to stiffen. The implication that all you do is cause trouble. Which in a way you suppose you do. You cause your mother unnecessary worry- Jin is constantly sacrificing things to take care of you. Even your friends are constantly having to shout you meals due to your perpetual state of unemployment.

“I... couldn’t just leave it- they needed help, Jin.” You admit softly. Jin somehow hears your quiet admission over his furious jant and falls silent. He stares at you in confusion for a long moment, like he was expecting more of a fight, or some sort of annoying comeback. But the confusion is enough to subside his rage. The jant is over, with minimal damage. He drags over a chair and slumps by your bedside, once more running a hand through his hair. 

“You’re so reckless. Robber’s rarely pull stunts like that unarmed! You may have enhanced healing compared to a human, but you still die if someone stabs you! And this is your third ER trip this month!” He scolds and his tone is far gentler than before- not unlike how one might speak to a child, rather than someone a mere three years younger than him. You meekly bow your head, chastised. “How do you think auntie would feel if anything happened to you, (Y/N)? You may be a Guardian, but Guardians aren’t invincible. You, of all people, should know that.”

You flinch, feeling as though he’s slapped you. He’s clearly furious with you if he’s willing to choose such a sore spot to shame you. For the thirteen years you have been in the human realm, it has just been you and your mother. You have not been able to forget that fact for a single day. Every day you awaken afresh with the reminder that there is a third member to your family who should be there but is not. Your father’s life was lost as you all fled, and your mother had found herself widowed with a headstrong young child in a foreign and unfamiliar realm. Jin’s family have always been around to help because you haven’t exactly been an easy child to raise, but there are some burdens that no one can lift from a single parent.

 And you love your mother, and you really would do anything for your her. It’s just... you don’t want to pretend that you’re a human. For your entire time here, your guise as a human has felt like an itchy, poorly fitted jacket that you want to peel off and throw away. Humans are selfish and lazy and would leave a child on the side of the road and they’d been very quick to notice that you were different and target you for it- these are all things your father hated. To be human is to spit on the sacrifice he made for you... and yet to continue to fight it is also disregarding that he gave up his life to let you live in comfort. 

Jin, with his handsome face and ability to charm anyone he meets instantly, has never had an issue settling into the human realm, and so he’s never really understood why you cling so much to your former home realm. He knows that you’ve never truly stopped grieving the life of your father, but he cannot understand why you do not see the human world the way that he does. He had very much taken to being a human and enjoys all the perks that come with it- the technology, the fawning women, the interesting and unique cuisines... Jin adores human culture. And so, it irks him that you constantly seem to be sticking out like a sore thumb. 

“I’m sorry.” You say in a small voice and you’re so downcast that you miss the way that Jin’s face crumples with guilt. 

“Just... try to be safer in the future. This realm has its own law enforcement. We don’t need to be guardians here.” He tells you softly. Then he clears his throat awkwardly. “How was the job interview?”

It’s an act of mercy- he’s trying to save you any further misery by changing the subject. Unfortunately, you have yet to break the news to Jin; you bombed the interview. Massively. It’s not like it was even a job you were that invested in. Just a fulltime job that involved doing some admin in an office. The exact, safe, boring job your mother has dreamed of for you since coming here and the exact job Jin has been pushing you to apply for because he’s sick of his parents nagging him to lend you money or take you out for dinner or give you lifts because your car broke down and you can’t afford to fix it. But you messed it up and you hate yourself for it. Hate yourself for disappointing your mother, and, if you’re really honest with yourself, for disappointing Jin. You’re already so aware of how lowly he views you and this just makes it sting that little bit more.

But it is the exact kind of job that will slowly kill you inside. You are trying to kill the part of you deep down that longs for something more. You don’t even know what it is you want. But killing that part and settling into this world and its ways and its customs mean giving in. It means forgetting. And for thirteen entire years, you have not been able to forget. How can you, when you left a piece of yourself back there, on the battlefield where your father had lost his life for your sake? He was not even given the luxury of a grave and yet you are supposed to be comfortable and post pictures on Instagram about how happy you are and go to brunch and just enjoy life? You... you can’t do it.

“I... don’t know.” You finally say. You shrug and glance away. “It felt like it went well. We’ll see if they call me back.”

Jin visibly brightens, unaware of your lie. 

“I knew I had a good feeling about today!” He says warmly. “You’re totally going to get that job, I can feel it in my bones. Finally, my parents will get off my back!” He cheers. He probably means the last part as a joke but it’s just another sting; another reminder that Jin just sees you as a burden.

His celebration session is interrupted by an alert on his apple watch. He glances at whatever notification appear and winces. He glances at you like he’s done something wrong.

“I’ve got to go. I uh… I have a date.” He confesses. Jin is always tentative when he talks about the women he sees, like he’s anticipating some sort of reaction from you. You don’t know what reaction that would be, though, and you don’t think you’d ever feed his ego with any reaction other than a mild disgust and indifference. When you just continue to stare, he nods, more to himself than you. “I still have to sort all your paperwork to make sure you can get discharged so I probably can’t stay with you for your discharge. You don’t need a lift home, do you? I’ll probably have to drive straight there.”

Normally you would accept- though your broken bone heals faster than a human’s, it is still highly painful and inconvenient. But the thought of being in the car with Jin right now is highly unappealing. For some reason, lately when you spend time with Jin, you just feel more and more aware of how inadequate you are. You can’t help but notice the way people gravitate towards Jin. The way their eyes are constantly seeking him out or how a room brightens when he steps into it. And it’s not just his looks- it’s his everything. His demeanour, his smile, his success. He has taken to the human world like a fish to water and you just can’t. It’s not like you don’t want to. But his presence, his nagging, his constant disappointment with you… it’s a persistent, painful reminder of everything you can’t bring yourself to be. Not even for him, as much as you sincerely hate constantly disappointing him like this.

He adjusts his watch as you shake your head.

“I’ll just get the bus. I can still walk.” You say, plastering a smile on your face that hopefully seems sincere. Jin glares at you and reaches out to tap a finger against the firm plaster of your cast.

“Fine, but this stays on until tomorrow. I don’t care how fast you heal- I don’t want that leg healing crooked. Your mother will definitely notice if you suddenly have an extra bend in your shin. And no more chasing robbers- not even if it’s an old grandma with a cane being robbed. We stopped being Guardians for a reason.” He warns you. He adjusts his shirt cuffs and pulls out his phone to adjust his hair in the selfie camera before glaring at you. “I won’t tell Auntie about today because I don’t want her to worry. You can stay at mine tonight, so she doesn’t ask any questions when you hobble home in a cast.”

“Thanks.” You say and he’s oblivious to the bleak tone in your voice and the way your expression is downcast. If there’s one thing that has Jin oblivious to the rest of the world, it’s the prospect of a date. “Is the code to get in still the same?”

“I changed it to your birthday because that stupid pixie that always hangs around you worked out the code and keeps leaving my sugar open on the counter. I’m getting so many ants. I’m pretty sure he’s leaving it open for them.” Jin tells you already halfway turned around. You wisely choose not to tell Jin that you had told Jungkook the code to Jin’s apartment. Jin pauses before he can stride off. “Oh yeah. Auntie texted me- she wanted me to make sure you remember to come to dinner tomorrow and that you dress nicely. She has something important to say.”

“She could have just texted me herself.” You mumble, but Jin has already walked off, probably to sort the last of your paperwork before his date. A trail of sighing onlookers watch his departure. It just makes you scoff as you return to glaring at your cast. It itches.

You make a promise to yourself to use Jin’s kitchen scissors to remove it tomorrow so that he has at least some kind of inconvenience in his life. Nothing is more irritating than a blunt pair of kitchen scissors.

++++

Despite seeing Jin’s mother every other day, and renting the apartment directly across from her, your mother always acts like the president is coming over whenever Jin’s family comes for dinner. She pulls out the fancy glass bowls and the plates she bought with her first paycheck from the diner she was employed at when you were small. She vacuums the whole apartment and checks your room to make sure you’ve cleaned it in case Jin needs a bed to nap on after a long day at the hospital. 

She’s never quite managed to get the hang of human cuisine and since the human realm doesn’t hold the magic stores available to cook Guardian food the way that she learned, you are always the one to make dinner. You’ve never once complained because you know that on some level, this is your mother’s attempt to compensate. This is the closest you will ever get to having a community with other Guardians, and Jin’s dad is the closest thing you will ever have to a father. 

But even despite her usual frantic state whenever there’s a joint family dinner, she definitely seems more frazzled than usual. 

“Is it meant to smell like that?” She asks with a grimace, leaning in to look at the salad you’ve thrown some vinaigrette over. You glance over your shoulder from where you are checking on the food in the oven. 

“Yes, mum.” You say, standing and gently nudging her from the kitchen with a smile. “It’s vinaigrette- you liked it last time when I made it, remember? It’s why I made it tonight.” 

Your mother digs her heels into the ground before you can drive her from the kitchen and send her back to wiping the already sparkling cabinets in the living room. She turns to scrutinise you carefully. 

“Are you going to do your hair? It looks a little messy.” She frets. You raise an eyebrow. This is new. Your sweet, doting mother has never once criticised your appearance, not even when you went through that phase where you had an eyebrow piercing and dyed your hair neon green. Something is up. 

“It’s just Auntie and Uncle, right?” You say suspiciously. “They used to bathe me when we lived in magregnum, mum.” You say. Using the original term for your home realm feels foreign on your tongue and your mother’s expression shutters at the sound of her original home. 

“Well, a lot has changed since then.” She says softly. You’re about to question the strange, unfamiliar expression on your mother’s face. Something looks different about her... you squint when you recognise the shimmer of your favourite eye shadow on her lids. 

“Are you wearing makeup?” You question. Her eyes go wide, and you can’t help but notice that her lashes are curled. But her answer is interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Your mother pales and instantly she switches back into her jittery, pre-dinner self. 

“Quickly, quickly!” She urges. “Dinner’s not ready yet!” 

You shake your head with a smile at your mother’s familiar antics. 

“It’s probably just Jin- Auntie and Uncle always make him come over earlier to help.” You call over your shoulder. You’re in a far better mood than you were yesterday, particularly after bending Jin’s kitchen scissors beyond repair during your attempts to remove the cast this morning before heading out and pretending you hadn’t been fired from your part-time job the week before. You had punched one of the senior managers for bullying the new hire. Your leg was mostly healed at that stage and Jin had told you that you could take the cast off before he left for work that morning. When you arrived back home in the afternoon, your mother had either chosen not to comment on your slight limp or had been too distracted by the stress of having dinner to notice. You are glad to have evaded her sad, disappointed eyes and the unwarranted comparisons to Jin for the day.  

After a long few moments of peace in the kitchen, you can’t help but notice the lack of an annoying presence hovering over your shoulder. Usually when Jin arrives, he makes a beeline straight for the kitchen so that he can sample whatever it is you’re making and proclaim it decent (and then try and sneak some extra portions later in the evening when he thinks you aren’t looking). The complete lack of Jin’s presence to do whatever the kitchen equivalent of back seat driving is has you pausing with a sense of unease. It is the first clue that something is up- the door opens and yet the older guardian doesn’t make an appearance. Confused, you pause midway through pouring out melted chocolate from a glass measuring cup and glance over your shoulder. 

“Minyo Dolkara,” is your mother’s tentative call and your eyes widen at the term of endearment. It is a common one back in your home realm, but your mother only uses it to comfort you when she feels you are truly upset. She is knotting her fingers anxiously together and beside her stands an unfamiliar middle-aged man. He smiles warmly at you, and your gaze lands on the arm he holds carefully around your mother’s shoulder. Your grip tightens around the handle of the measuring cup. 

“Mum?” You ask, your tone laced with confusion. “Who’s this?”

Your mother swallows nervously and glances at the man in question. 

“This is... my love.” She confesses. “Nigel. We met at my night classes and I... He...”

“I’m her fiancé.” The man, Nigel corrects. He is a friendly, round sort of man. The kind of man often seen on tv playing father to a rebellious teenage daughter in a sitcom. And his smile is warm and excited, like he’s happy to meet you. He directs that smile to your mother, and rather than look disgusted or uncomfortable, she merely beams back at him.

That’s probably what this night was for, in hindsight. And why your mother was so nervous. She planned this to introduce her new boyfriend... no, her new fiancé to you, and to Jin’s family. Dimly, in the back of your mind, you register all the unusual signs about tonight. The way she’d messaged Jin to make sure you were at the dinner despite the fact that she’s never been able to bring herself to make you do anything you don’t want to.... the way she’s been commenting on your appearance despite it never having bothered her before... how long has she kept this from you? How... how could she be seeing another man?

No words form in your mouth- instead, the face of your father hovers in your mind. After thirteen years, you can’t fully recall what he looks like and you weren’t able to bring any pictures over to the human realm with you. It has been long enough that you cannot recall his face or his voice. So, in theory, why can’t your mother meet someone new? Did you expect her to live as a widow until she died, alone and far from the home realm she grew up in? Of course, you didn’t. But for some reason, this man’s presence right now leaves a bitter sting like she’s plunged a knife into your chest.

The smile drops from Nigel’s face after a few moments of you staring blankly and his smile is replaced with concern. It takes you a while to understand it is because you have crushed the hand of the measuring cup in your tight grip. It falls to the ground and shatters, followed by a few drops of blood as red rapidly spreads over your clenched fist and lands on the ground. You haven’t used your enhanced strength in so long you almost forgot you had it. 

“Fiancé?” You echo at last and though it is your own voice, it sounds distant. Like your ears are suddenly submerged under water. You don’t know what hurts you more in that moment- the painful reminder that the world is moving on without your father... or the fact that your mum has kept such a huge secret from you for who knows how long, probably because she was scared of how you’d react. “You’re engaged?”

“(Y/N),” your mother says, taking a step forward, perhaps to comfort you. She does it tentatively, like you are a beast she needs to placate. The people in your life- at least the ones who know your true identity- often approach you like that. Slowly and hesitantly, as if they don’t know how you will react. Like you are a ticking time bomb, ready to go off and cause trouble. Which in a way, you suppose you are. Things have always been difficult with you, after all. You never settled into human schooling well and you didn’t get into a good university like Jin, and you’re always getting yourself into trouble trying to help random people off the street. And your mother, your poor placating mother, is prepared to do the same thing she always does. Apologise that you had to leave your home, that the new human world isn’t to your liking, but gently remind you that it is, in fact, your real home now.  

But you do not give her the chance to feed you the same tired lines. You’re so sick of hearing this lecture. Every time you wind up in hospital because you’ve interfered with a fight or been hit by a car trying to save a random puppy, Jin gives you the same, frustrated lecture. When you fail another interview or get fired from a new job, your mother is there to try and fail to hide her disappointment that you aren’t leading the life she’d planned for you. But not this time- this is too far. You’ve been trying to squash the part of you that is a guardian for their sake for so long now, but you cannot do it for him. For this man, this stranger, who has waltzed into your home like he owns it and announced that he’s marrying your mother. As if he has a right to just join your family. You are out the door before she or Nigel can offer a word of explanation. 

You don’t see Jin until you crash into him. He steadies you with a hand planted on either shoulder. You glance up at his face, barely registering what he looks like through the blur of tears spilling forward. For a brief moment, the sight of Jin’s face (even blurred) and the familiar set of his broad shoulders fills you with relief. Even if Jin’s always viewed you as a bit of pain, he’s always been an important person to you, always ready to provide support. But then you see the look on his face.

Jin actually winces when he sees your expression. Perhaps he is realising it’s going to be one of those nights, where he sits up on the roof with you for hours and comforts you as you spill your guts. That’s how it’s always been, after all, ever since you were a small child and would run to him when you scraped your knee instead of your own parents. You would cry and he would offer some wise words mixed in with a stern reprimand and then his parents would congratulate him for being such a good influence on you. Even when you hit high school and started to realise for the first time that Jin didn’t view you with the same adoration you viewed him, he never stopped being that person for you. The shoulder to cry on, the rock to lean on. But now, he stiffens, as if steeling himself for the explanation behind your tears and he probably already has a speech half prepared in his mind. That’s the job he delegated himself, after all. To look after you, for as long as you are alive and giving him headaches. So, if it’s always been his job to do just that, why does he look like he’s just been asked to help clean a public bathroom at the sight of you in distress? 

He... he doesn’t want to deal with you. That’s why he looks so uncomfortable. 

You feel something inside you crumple. You can’t identify what feeling it is but, in that moment, you realise something. Everyone in your life... they all view you as a burden. Your mum had delayed telling you about her boyfriend until the last possible moment because your response would be difficult to handle. Jin’s parents see you as a hopeless child that their perfect son must look after. And Jin.... well you can see from the look on his face how he views you. It reminds you of a dark day, all those years ago in high school, a memory you thought you’d pushed down, and it surfaces now, before you can push it back down like you normally do. But then you set your shoulders- you were over the things Jin had said that day, and you aren’t going to allow the way that he looks right now to be the thing that resurfaces those feelings.

You shove past him. Over the past few months, you’ve been avoiding Jin more and more as your self-esteem plummeted lower and lower but today something tips over the edge for you. You don’t know how or why it happened but at some point, Jin has stopped being the person you can turn to when things get rough. And you have just realised that he no longer wants to be that person either, which hurts far more than you ever thought it could. 

“(Y/N)!” You hear him call out to you, probably shocked that you aren’t caving immediately and telling him what’s wrong- after all, there’s probably only been one time in your life before this that you’ve done so. You ignore his call though, making a beeline for the staircase, and he does not follow you. 

The place you usually go to when misery strikes is the rooftop of your crappy apartment building. You’ve spent countless hours up on the rooftop, watching the sky. It’s oddly therapeutic- the thing you used to miss most when first moving to this realm was the stars. Back home, they sparkle different colours like precious stones scattered across black velvet. Here, the smog of humans blocks their stars from the sky. But the brightest stars are somewhat visible on clear nights and they are the closest reminder you have of home. That’s probably why you have chosen the roof as your refuge. Since beginning to take refuge here when things go bad, you’ve accumulated a small collection of old furniture from whenever your mum goes on a redecorating spree. 

What has resulted is a comfy little corner of the world you can call your own, away from everyone else. No one else seems to use this place, even if the rooftop is accessible to everyone in the complex, but that suits you just fine. It’s perfect for curling up and wallowing, much like you are desperate to do right now. There are a lot of confusing, painful emotions swirling around inside you, ones that you aren’t really sure how to deal with or process. 

You slump down against the old picnic blanket you have stretched across the floor and let your head collapse against an old cushion your mum threw out years ago and peer up at the sky. Wincing, you idly pick out pieces of glass from your hand and watch the skin seal over almost immediately as you wonder if the sky really as beautiful back home as your memory tells you it was. Or, do you just want to believe things were better in the other realm? You’re not really sure but it really would be nice to go back. Not forever- as much as you hate to admit it, your family is here now, which makes this realm your home. But you want to see the place you came from. You want to see the stars and the valleys and the rivers. The night before you and your mother fled, your father had told you that everything about Magregnum would change by the time you were old enough to go back, except the landscape. Mountains cannot move, after all. A part of you longs desperately for that- to see the things that will not change and the landscapes that could not leave your father behind. The only reminders that you aren’t just a random human washed up in the bleakness of life, but a guardian. Something special and precious. Something better than what you feel like you are.

An annoying buzzing in your ear breaks the bubble of your pondering. You blink a few times and then sigh, turning your head to the side. A small figure, no taller that the height of your handspan, stands beside you with his arms folded. Small, insect like wings flap so rapidly they are little more than flashes, catching the light of the fairy lights you’d strung across the fencing of the rooftop a few weeks ago. The figure tilts his small head to the side and at this proximity you can see the way he frowns. He always has the oddest tendency to pop up whenever you are alone and miserable and likely he is displeased to find you in such a state yet again.

“Do you ever do anything other than sulk?” The creature asks. He is a pixie, as you know from your first interaction where he had very indignantly informed you that no, he is not a cross between a mosquito and a human in-between your attempts to squash him with a fly swatter. You grimace. 

“No.” You snap, rolling onto your side to face away. Alas, the small pixie merely lifts easily into the air and sails over your face like he’s an Olympian performing high jump. He lands neatly in front of you once more and grins. 

“What happened this time?” He asks, settling down into the picnic blanket cross legged. He plants an elbow on either knee and rests his chin in his hands. The buzzing of his wings slows to a gentle flap, which allows you to discern the thin, silvery veins that lace across the delicate membranes of his wings. You’ve always secretly thought it a shame that Jungkook is just a pixie, given his handsome face and charming nature, but being a human would mean the loss of his gorgeous wings. “Did Jin ground you again?”

“He’s never grounded me before.” You snap defensively. “And even if he did, it’s not like I would listen to him. He’s not my parent.”

Jungkook shrugs, leaning back to press his weight into his hands and stretching his legs out in front of him. 

“Yes, you would.” He points out. “You always complain about Jin, but I know you always do what he says.” 

You purse your lips and sit up. Jin is one of the last people you want to talk about right now. Jungkook stands up too, launching himself into the air so that he can settle on your knee. 

“So what did Jin do this time? Change the code to his apartment again? Find out about your motorbike? Treat you to dinner?” Jungkook questions eagerly. You’ve never seen the pixie interact with another living being other than you, Jin or Taehyung (and on occasion your mother) and he had sadly informed you that he was the only one of his kind in this realm when you first met thirteen years ago. So, you have a theory that he lives out his need for drama and gossip and social interaction vicariously through you. It’s the only way to explain his constant interest in your life and the things that are making you sad. 

“It wasn’t Jin.” You finally admit, lifting your gaze once more to the sky above. “Why are you even here anyway? Did you run out of YouTube dance covers to copy?”

Jungkook nods and settles down beside you. “It’s all pointless after a while.” He says forlornly. “It’s not like humans can see me. Only guardians will ever see me dance and they don’t care. I figured I might as well talk to one sentient being before I go crazy. The moths just aren’t great conversation partners these days.” He pauses. “So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”

Jungkook’s confession has your resolve crumbling. Sometimes it is easy to forget that you, Jin and Taehyung are the only people Jungkook can mix with, as a pixie in a human world. Even if humans could see him, the government would probably deport him back to the other realm the second it found out he was threatening exposure of magical beings to humans. A strange sadness on his behalf overcomes you and that is the thing that makes you willing to confess what’s bothering you. “It was... my mother.”

Jungkook is silent and when you glance down at where he is seated upon your knee, he is also gazing in wonder at the sky above. He doesn’t press further but you still somehow feel compelled to share. 

“She’s engaged.” You admit and the words feel oddly piercing amongst the soft hum of city traffic. They hang in the cool night air and suddenly the warmth of the night seems stifling rather than comfortable. 

“I thought the Q’uvar were happy when that sort of thing happened? Don’t you all have those huge festivities in your village whenever a marriage ceremony happens?” Jungkook questions. The natural way the original term for your people rolls off his tongue testifies to his origin- despite him living in the human realm, there is no doubt he comes from Magregnum, just as you do. Even when you were living in the other realm, your people would refer to themselves as guardians. Only the really old-fashioned members of your race would use the language that had slowly died out over the years as the common tongue became the norm. Not for the first time, you are curious about Jungkook and where he popped up from. Jungkook turns to look at you and tilts his tiny head. His inky black hair flops to one side with the motion. “Shouldn’t you be happy that your mother is engaged?”

The unintentional reprimand slaps you across the face and you wince. In theory, you should be thrilled that after so much difficulty and hardship settling into this realm, your mother has found a source of happiness. She has worked so hard on your behalf to make sure you grow up safe and secure in this foreign realm and so the least you can do to repay her is to be happy when she is happy. But the niggling fear that always chases you holds you back. It’s a fear of change- of the way life seems to move too fast for you to catch up. Here you are, stuck in the past when even your own mother has managed to move on and build a life for herself. 

“I should be.” You answer softly. You lift your knees and hug them close to your chest- Jungkook falls off with an indignant squawk. Moments later he rises in the air until he is eye level with you- even the buzz of his wings seems irritated. 

“Well then, why aren’t you?” He asks, but the tone of his voice implies that his patience has been lost with you. Since the moment of meeting you all those years ago, Jungkook had assigned himself as a sort of pseudo-counsellor and confidante, but it does not mean he enjoys the position. No, more often than not, he is annoyed and puzzled by your seemingly trivial problems. You kind of enjoy such an attitude though- it makes the things that feel insurmountable to you become small and insignificant. Jungkook makes you feel like problems can be overcome. This time, however, his dismissive attitude has you feeling worse. 

“Because I’m homesick.” You admit miserably. “Why does everyone seem to settle in here so well? Why am I the only one struggling? Why could everyone leave things behind so easily? How can they just pretend that they’re humans, and completely ignore the fact that they are Guardians?”

You press the palms of your hands against your eyes and release a long exhale. No one has followed you up here, after you rushed out like that. Who even knows what state your mother’s dinner is in? Hopefully she remembered to get everything out of the oven. Are they having fun without you? Is Nigel charming them, winning them over, getting them excited about the possibility of a wedding? Are they… are they really happy, in this realm? “Do you ever think about going back?” You question, after a long moment of silence. You drop your hands from your eyes.

“Sometimes.” Jungkook admits. “I wonder what it looks like now. Taehyung says it’s largely the same, it’s just the cultures and people that change.” 

You stare out across the ugly concrete buildings that the rooftop view provides you. In this realm, everything moves fast and changes quickly. In the blink of an eye, a new building can pop up down the road or an entire family can move away from their twenty-year-old restaurant and close it without any warning. Back home, you remember things being steady and unchanging. Every morning, you would rise to the same mountain ranges, to the same fringe of forest, to the same river song. The only guardian you know who has gone back is Taehyung, and he validates that impression- forests and mountains do not change. 

“I wish I had half Taehyung’s courage. I want to go back.” You confess.

Jungkook hugs his knees into his chest and mirrors your position beside you. 

“What would it achieve?” Jungkook asks curiously. You shrug, picking idly at a stray thread on your jeans. 

“Hopefully something.” You say. “I feel like I’ll never know what could happen if I don’t take the risk. I just… I feel like it’s calling me. It doesn’t want me to forget what I am. This realm doesn’t suit me because this isn’t my realm. Maybe I’ll find a place that fits over there.”

Jungkook nods sagely. A moth flaps past him and he smiles at it as it goes past.

“And what would you do once you’re there?” He questions. It does not take you long to give an answer. You’ve had this adventure mapped out in your mind since you were a miserable, homesick eleven-year-old.

“My dad used to have this phrase. “The river loves those who take the plunge.”. He’d always say it in the old tongue, and apparently it was an old guardian phrase that meant sometimes taking the risk was worth it. But apparently the phrase comes from a river to the east of our home. Dad said that the river is home to a special migrating plant, and it lights up and looks like shooting stars. They call it ‘the dancing river’. He promised to take me there, one day when the war was over.” You explain. “If rivers and mountains don’t change… then that’s that last piece of him I can find in that realm.”

“And that’s what you want to see, if you go back?” Jungkook asks. You nod and shift your position to the side of some old drawers you had rescued from your mother’s bedroom. Inside are a bunch of wrinkled old papers that you pull out and show him. 

“Taehyung always brings me back a map whenever he gets back from over there to show me how things have changed. Look.” You point at a small blue line that trickles across the painted landscape of the map. The label is written in the common tongue. “River of stars” it says in sleek cursive. You know from matching it up with an older map that the name has changed but it’s the same river your father told you about. “It’s only a five-day hike from the portal.” You point at a small mark on the map- this has Taehyung’s writing scribbled on it, marking the join between the human realm and the magical one. “I could go and just... get it out of my system. See the river. Like a road trip but in another realm.” 

Jungkook flutters over to peer at the small distance between the river in question and the portal on the map. 

“I just have to go once. Just once. And see it- see the places he loved. And then I’ll settle into this realm and get the boring job Jin and my mother want me to have and marry an equally boring human. I’ll go to her wedding and watch her pretend like my dad never existed and like I’m not a Guardian.” You tell him. “I... we didn’t even get to say good-bye, Jungkook.” 

Your voice cracks and Jungkook glances up at you in surprise. You rarely open up about your father to the pixie but he’s always curious when you do, like you’re sharing the story of an ancient war hero. Which in a way, he is. Though the war is fresh and recent in your mind, over a thousand years have passed back home, since your people roamed freely there.

“We just got word that he was dead, and we had to go, or we would be too.” You tell him, recalling the way Jin’s father had woken you two up in the middle of the night, pale as a ghost and drenched in your father’s blood. You remember running a lot that night and clinging to your mother’s hand. You had tripped and scraped your knee and you hadn’t been able to cry. And when you reached the human realm, your mother had shed a single tear and then shouldered on into your new life. No time or space to grieve. Not when there was so much uncertainty ahead. “No funeral or anything. I just... I want proof, that he was alive. I want to see the places he saw and just... I want to get a chance to say goodbye. I never even got to tell him that I love him one last time.”

Jungkook holds a hand to his chin as he ponders your words and then he looks at you. Though he is small, you can make out the dark colour of his eyes. His expression is soft and gentle. It reminds you of the look Jin used to give you when you’d come up here because the kids had made a mean comment about you not understanding their weird meme jokes or you were sad because you’d seen a kid hanging out with his father. Back before Jin had lost his patience with you, when he just got that the reason you couldn’t settle in was because of the cost it took to get to this realm safely. 

“You know it wouldn’t bring him back, right?” Jungkook asks softly. “Everything you knew about that realm faded thousands of years ago. You won’t find home there anymore than it is here. And it won’t stop your mother from getting married.”

“I know.” You answer forlornly. “But maybe things will be better if I just get to… acknowledge what I am. Even if it’s only for five days.” Jungkook stares for a long moment and then nods, his shoulders set with sudden determination. 

“Then let’s go.” He announces. You blink in surprise at his proposition. 

“Go?” You echo. He nods and straightens, planting on hand on his hip and pointing the other directly at you. 

“I am the first person to point out that you’re spoiled and selfish.” Jungkook reminds you, which has you wincing. “You don’t even know how lucky you are, to have so many people who love you. Do you know what I would give to be human? To have a friends and family like you do? And every day you spit on it. If this is what it takes for you to finally be content, then do it.” 

You frown and look away from him. 

“I don’t want to go when you put it like that.” You say, resenting the slight way your voice wobbles with hurt. You feel the slight tickle to your cheek and find Jungkook has pressed his tiny hand comfortingly to the side of your face. 

“Don’t be hurt.” He says softly. “I do know why you’re struggling.” He offers you as comfort. “And I do understand why it’s so hard. To live amongst humans every day and pretend like none of the terrible things that went down over there really happened. But in focusing on the things you’re missing, you’re missing out on the things you have.” He explains. “So, let’s go, (Y/N). Let’s go see the Dancing River and find the peace you’re looking for.”

You stare at Jungkook for a long time, before offering the slightest nod. He’s right. What’s the use of waiting and hoping and holding out for something? Why not just go and find out if seeing this river will solve any of your problems? The river loves those who take the plunge, after all.

“Let’s go, Jungkook.” You agree, with the faint hint of a smile on your face.

What you don’t see, as you converse with Jungkook, is Jin slowly closing the door to the rooftop, first aid kit in hand. He gives one last glance at the doorway, wondering if he should join you and Jungkook before shaking his head with a sigh. He turns around and makes the slow trek back downstairs with a troubled expression on his face.

vegas run (IV).

plot: it’s the annual las vegas run. let’s see what kinda trouble you get into this year!

A/N: CLIMAX!!!! i hope yall like pls let me know <3 ty ellie for the gif hunting ily

masterlist! (previous parts can be found there soz got too lazy to link)

Shuffling with the others was entertaining. You didn’t know any of these people but everyone seemed to follow one another, pointing out the fifth Elvis they’d seen or the dude standing in the middle of the street buzzing his hair off. 

The crowd had thinned out a little, people disappearing into the casinos and bars lining the streets. Colson was walking in front of you, fingers still stuck with yours as you trailed behind just a little bit, trying to match pace with the rest of the group around you. 

The weed seemed to be wearing off now, fading into the background as your view sharpened just a bit. You didn’t really know what time it was, or how long you’d been wandering the streets with Colson right by your side, but your phone was tucked into your back pocket and you hadn’t had the heart to check it yet. You knew by now the squad would have left the first casino, but these spontaneous moments were what the Vegas run was all about and you wanted them to last longer.  

Just then, Colson sidled up next to you. He let go of your hand before wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You huffed at the loss of contact, wanting to feel his palm against yours again. Hesitating for a second, you raised the hand that was closest to where his arm was draped over you. He let out a little laugh and then his fingers met yours again. 

“Needy baby,” he mumbled, still smiling as you looked up at him. 

“Not a baby,” you uttered, scrunching up your nose but smiling at his words all the same.

“Mhm,” he hummed out, squeezing his fingers against yours to make a point. 

“I’m hungry,” he stated, and you realized that’s why he’d come back up next to you. 

“Yeah, time to break away?” you asked, turning your head to the side trying to spot some place to grab a bite. 

He didn’t even respond, just nudged his shoulder at the guys you’d been rocking with before creating a path out of the little group. You stumbled a little at the awkward positioning of your bodies, but you didn’t want to be the first one to break it up, so you quickly aligned yourself against him and followed his lead.

-

Ten minutes later, you guys had wandered into a shop called Bruxie. The lights were dimmed, soft glows barely lighting up the menu but Kells had spotted a powdered sugar covered waffle and immediately veered the two of you in. 

The spot was small, but metal stools lined the front, a countertop propped up against the full-length windows. It was amazing, you could sit and eat while watching the show that was Las Vegas at night. People were milling by, the ever-present lights highlighting the streets as the city bustled around you.

Grabbing two stool seats, you pawed at the menu trying to figure out what you were in the mood for. 

“Fuck Y/N, look at this,” Colson said, shoving a finger at the plastic menu, pointing at the waffle chicken deluxe. It was huge, covered in syrup and sugar from what you could see in the picture. The weed had left you both with the munchies and sticky syrup was exactly what you were craving right about now. 

The order came in a few minutes later, ringed up at the counter. Bringing it back to the table, Colson couldn’t help the smile taking over his face. He set the plate down, and then tugged a little at his hoodie like he almost couldn’t believe his eyes. 

“It’s a waffle,” you chuckled, making fun of his reaction.

“It’s not just a waffle. It’s the waffle,” he scoffed as he pulled out his phone to take a picture of the drippy, sweet mess in front of you two.

You waited a second, and then grabbed your fork, tearing up the side to take a bite into the famed breakfast food. 

“HEY! Wait for me,” he shouted, and you groaned impatiently as he cut off another piece. 

“Count of 3,” he said, raising a finger towards you. 

“Nope,” you responded, and then shoved the waffle piece into your mouth. The flavors hit you immediately, and you looked at the plate in front of you impressed at the different tastes you were getting. 

The waffle was gone soon enough, and then Kells was hopping off the stool and striding up to the counter to order another one and a round of beers to keep you both happy as the food started flowing in.

---------

You could feel the drinks you downed earlier hit you all at once. You hadn’t gotten drunk in so long, busy with getting your store on its own feet. Sipping on warm beer in your empty apartment just never gave you the same feeling as you had now. It was like there was something warm wrapped completely around you, lighting you from the inside. You could feel the flush on your own cheeks, the way your head felt kinda full.

It took you a minute to realize that there actually was something wrapped around you, a chin coming to rest on top of your head, grounding you down. Two arms covering your front as you shifted a little, trying to figure out exactly where you both were. 

“Stop shifting,” Colson mumbled from above and you pouted at that, tilting your head up so he had to lift his chin off of you. 

Your eyes met his as he looked down at you, and you could tell he was just as gone as you. His eyes looked blurry as if he was gonna cry and moved your gaze downward focusing on the scar at the bottom of his chin. It was an old one, but it still raised against his skin, standing out so close to your vision. 

Pulling your arm from out of his hold, you lifted your finger trailing it against the puckered skin. You’d been tilted back too long, could feel the blood rush to your head in a way that made you feel dizzy. Closing your eyes, you pulled your head back, licking your lips as the blood settled back into your veins again. 

“Where are we?” you mumbled, not sure how’d you both ended up on the corner of the street, facing a bright pink wedding chapel. 

“I have no idea,” he murmured into your hair. 

The light turned from red to green as a car turned the corner, driving past where the two of you stood on the curb. There was a neon heart pulsing on the window of the chapel, a blue arrow running through it and you watched the light switch on and off as he rubbed his cheek against the top of your head. 

Two people stumbled out of the chapel, flowers in hand laughing as they walked off into the other direction. You watched the girl stop, throw her bouquet backwards before he picked her up in his arms. The flowers landed on the floor, petals breaking apart against the cracked cement. 

“Wanna get married?” came a whisper above you. 

Your breath hitched, the pink heart pulsed again. 

“Yeah,” you nodded slightly, feeling something pull oddly tight at your heart.

-

A minute later, you both were crossing the street. You could feel your heart thudding against your chest, feel the way Colson’s own heart was beating steadily behind your back. You stopped in front of the entrance, feeling the tips of his Converse against your heels as he abruptly paused right behind you. 

Picking up one of the roses from the trashed bouquet, you turned around, holding it out towards him. 

“For you,” you murmured, feeling the faint warmth of a blush rise up on your cheeks again. 

“Why thank you,” he exclaimed, exaggeration dripping as he bowed down before plucking the sole flower out of your hand. 

You smiled up at him before stepping aside, trying to hint at the fact that he should take the lead. You weren’t used to this at all, and even though you knew he’d never been married before, something told you this was more in his wheelhouse than yours. 

He raised an eyebrow up at you, and then took the first step into the already open door. 

Following behind, you were immediately struck with the absurdity of it all. There was a woman sitting at a counter, dressed in all pink with a feather pen in her hand. There were chairs lining the lobby, and you spotted the door towards the chapel part of the room. A wooden heart was carved right above it, and you tried to stifle your laughter as you spotted a treasure chest in the corner overflowing with different costumes. 

“We’re here to get married!” Colson proclaimed, walking towards the counter as you moved towards the golden chest. 

You laughed at the words, spotting an Elvis wig thrown in and a cow onesie right underneath. You could hear him discussing things with the lady at the desk, but you were so enamored with the eccentric outfits that you tuned him out. Shifting through the clothes, you laughed at the red cowboy hat, paired perfectly with the one ruby studded cowboy boot tossed in. 

You got caught up searching for the other one, moving through the chest at a record pace before realizing that someone was calling your name. 

“Y/N!” Colson shouted again, and you whipped your head up seeing him lean against the desk. He was grinning, arm up in the air waving you over and you suddenly flashed back to a couple hours ago at the casino, the way he’d pulled you in from across the room. 

Fuck, only a couple of hours ago you’d been wandering around with another guy, aching for some action and now you were going to get married? The sentiment suddenly hit you, and you let out a breath, sitting down on your knees.

 Married? To one of your closest friends? To the guy you’d swore you felt nothing about until a couple of weeks ago? 

Lost in thought you didn’t really notice when his smile dropped as he caught sight of you staring into space. He pushed himself off the desk, coming up to you before getting on his own knees right across from you. 

“You okay?” he asked, hand going over to where you were clutching the sole ruby boot with a tight grip. 

You blinked once before coming back to your senses, “Yeah, no? I’m good.” 

“We don’t have to do this,” he murmured, eyes meeting your own. He seemed so sober at that moment, words dripping out of his mouth with ease. Your gaze caught on his chin again, the scar sticking out. 

At that moment, it really hit you. You did want this, wanted everything that came with it even if you both didn’t exactly know what that was. The alcohol in your system craved this more than anything and you smiled up at him, dropping the boot back into the chest as you got up off the floor. 

“I want this if you want it,” you announced, dusting off your jeans. 

“I want it,” he declared right back at you, and you grinned before extending your hand to pull him off the ground. 

The lady at the desk clapped pulling you both out of the moment and you laughed a little as you walked over to her. 

“Great idea sweetie! He’s a looker that one,” she chipped as you got a hold of the papers that she had laid out. 

“Yeah Y/N I’m a looker,” Colson repeated, leaning back against the desk, smirking at you. 

“Shut up,” you mumbled, catching the raise of his eyebrow as the words came tumbling out of your mouth. 

And then all of a sudden, you were leaning in to where he was, softly kissing the bottom of his chin right on the scar.

“You missed,” was all he mumbled and you flipped him off as he laughed, signing your signature right next to his. 

“You’re all set lovebirds. Go pick something crazy to get pictured in and then you can walk in. Father Michael will be waiting for you,” she smiled, stapling the sheets together as you handed her the feather pen back. 

You wandered back to the treasure chest, this time feeling Colson’s gaze on you as you reached back down for the red boot. 

“I wanna find its twin,” you said, turning around to show it to him.

He was smiling at you, and you felt a sudden warmth build up in your chest at the way he was looking at you. Pulling the boot out of your hand, he held it up to his face, turning it around as he inspected it. 

“Nope,” was all you got before he tossed it back into the chest.

“Hey what the fuck,” you scowled slightly, turning back around to pick it up. 

He stopped you before you could, arm pulling at your wrist. You paused, moving back towards him, pulse speeding up at the way his grip felt against your skin. 

“If we’re gonna do this,” he started, and you couldn’t meet his eyes at the sound of his words and how close they sounded to a promise, “I want it to be us.” 

“Us?” you mumbled, teeth biting down on the edge of your lip. 

“Yeah, no gimmicks, no costumes. Just us,” he responded, and you looked up at that, seeing the smile hidden in his eyes. 

“Okay,” and a grin spread across your own face. 

“Okay.” he nodded and then you were both crossing the room to the chapel entrance. 

- 

taglist: @iamdorka​ @no-shxt-sherl​ @bakerkells​ @findingmyths​ @rosegoldrichie​ @mayaslifeinabox​ @itjustkindahappenedreally​​ @hnbtx​​  @backoftheroomandnotbelonging​​ @nowhereiswhereibelong​ @whyisgmora​ @oopsiedoopsie23

I wrote a Doctor Who story for Christmas

It's been a funny old year. High highs and low lows. My brain processes everything in terms of Doctor Who, so I thought I'd write a little story about a crap Christmas.

Doctor Who - “The Best Of it”

The drop in air pressure was first detected on December 24th. About 3% approximately every 5 hours, which might not seem like that big of a drop, but when you’re in a big research base right down at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, any air pressure escaping is a bit of a big deal.

And so I found myself, on Christmas Eve, in a big clunky OxySuit, lumbering around upon the sea floor at the deepest point in the Earth’s Ocean. I moved around the outer walls of Cameron Base One with great difficulty, pushing my limbs forward through the high-pressure water, the headlamps on either side of my helmet providing minimal light.

Reaching the West Wing of the base, the first thing I saw were the cracks in the floor. It began right where the wall of the base touched the ground, and then snaked out and broke off until the ground in front of me looked like a shatter pattern. This was an alarming sight, to say the least. It meant that the ground which Cameron Base One sat on, that the crew walked across, was unstable. I would have turned around immediately and gone to raise the alarm. But I didn’t.

Because the second thing I noticed was the tall, blue phone box. With a lamp on top and two square windows that sent wavy shimmers of light wafting through the ocean. It was right at the furthest reaches of the cracks in the floor. I wondered how the hell it had got there.

Of course, then I was plummeting through one of the cracks that opened up at my feet, so there wasn’t much else I could do except fall.

I only remember bits of my plummet, so it’s hard to describe now. But it was like being on a pitch black water slide that you fully expected to die at the end of. Something had struck the lights on my helmet almost immediately so I couldn’t see a darn thing, but my stomach twisted and turned, which told me I was being tossed to and fro. Then I remember a tiny bit of light approaching fast, and an impact. Then nothing.

Nothing until I was blinking awake in a dimly lit cave, and there was a woman peering down at me.

“What size shoe do you take?” she asked.

I stared at the fractured image of her through the cracked glass of my helmet. She had short yellow hair, a long pale blue coat, and a t shirt with a rainbow stripe across it. She waited expectantly for me to answer.

“I’m Ellie Tyson, Chief Engineer at Cameron Base One,” I said, unsure what else but name and rank was appropriate in this conversation.

“I’m the Doctor,” the woman replied. “I just knock about space, really. You alright?”

She helped me to my feet and out of my OxySuit. I was bumped and bruised, and the jumpsuit I wore beneath the suit was a bit scuffed, but I was otherwise okay and able to survey my surroundings. The cave was not spacious. There were small tea light candles dotted about, and a steady drip of water coming from the breach in the ceiling that I must have fallen through.

“Right! Welcome, welcome,” said the Doctor. “Let me show you around. I’d say this is the living area over here.” She gestured to the left side of the cave, where a fireplace had been drawn on the uneven rock wall. “But to be honest, it’s a bit of a studio apartment situation.”

“How long have you been here?” I asked, eyeing the crudely illustrated roaring fire and wondering if this was the sign of stir craziness.

“About a week. Been surviving on rations.” She held up a box of dried raisins. “And a few bits I had in my coat pockets to keep me busy.” On the floor of the cave, there was the aforementioned candles, a pack of crayons, a pair of knitting needles and some wool, and a tourist pamphlet for the Blue Man Group. “Don’t suppose you’ve got any food in that big clunky diving suit?”

I shook my head no. The only thing in the utility belt section of the suit was some bandages, medical tape, and a flare. None of which struck me as particularly edible.

“No hope of escape?” I asked, fearing the answer.

“Well, not until now.” She started walking to the mouth of the cave. “Come on, then.”

I followed. There were no candles in the long, narrow passageway she crept down, but the Doctor had a metallic remote thingy that was giving off an orange glow, and she rooted around her pockets until she found a small torch she could toss to me.

“So full disclosure,” said the Doctor, “I got knocked silly on the way down. Consequently, I was half unconscious for like the first 3 days, but as soon as I was able to, I did a bit of exploring. Didn’t get very far. There’s a massive wall just up ahead that proved to be a big fat dead end for me.”

I frowned. “So why are we bothering?”

The Doctor waved a hand impatiently. “You’ll see in a min. Anyway, I knew someone else was bound to fall down the same hole I did, it being next to a massive human science-y base thing.”

The word ‘human’ got caught on some filters in my head, but I moved past it. “Nobody else knows. They sent me out to see why we were having air pressure problems.”

“Exactly, so I knew it was only a matter of time till I had a mate. That reminds me, what size shoe did you say you took?”

“I didn’t, and we have much bigger problems. If the ground up there is this unstable, the whole crew of Cameron Base One could be in real danger.”

The Doctor pulled a face. “I’m working on that! Give us a chance.”

“Except you’re not working on it – you’ve been down here a week and you’re no closer to escaping. Now I’m stuck down here too. The whole base could collapse any second and there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“You literally just told me the only passageway leads to a dead end!”

“No,” the Doctor corrected. “I said it was a dead end for me.” We came to the huge wall she’d spoken off. It was about twice our height, but it did not reach the roof of the cave passage. There was a sizeable space at the top of the wall, and beyond that some source of light could be seen blinking on and off from out of view. In the torchlight, the Doctor grinned with great satisfaction. “See? All I needed was someone to give me a boost. I’ll go first and pull you up after. Don’t worry, I’m dead nimble in this body.”

The brain filter picked up that last weird comment too, but I didn’t have time to question. I laced my fingers and let the Doctor put her dirty boots in the palm of my hands, whereupon I heaved her high enough for her to grab something to hold onto and pull herself, and then me after, up onto the raised ground.

Wiping the muck off of my knees, I stood up and looked at where we’d ascended to. The sight before me made no sense. For at the top of this ledge, in this cavern deep down in the Earth’s crust, were a large pair of steel doors with a blinking control panel next to it.

“Oh, brilliant!” said the Doctor. She rushed towards it, aimed her metallic torch thingy at it, and I was amazed to see the doors rumble and draw themselves open. There was a great cloud of dust as they parted.

“These doors must have been sat closed for a good amount of time, then,” I coughed, as I followed the Doctor through the doorway.

On the other side, the Doctor stood dead still. “A very long time,” she said.

If the sight of steel doors had shocked me, it was nothing compared to the room of cryogenically frozen lizard people I was looking at now.

In this laboratory the length of a football pitch, there were rows and rows of pods, half metallic, half rock formations, and each of them contained a bipedal, human-sized lizard. There was frost on the glass of the pods, and they were cold to my touch. The creatures inside had not stirred a bit during our entrance or my examining of their containers. Astonished, I turned to the Doctor, hoping to gain some comfort in a shared vibe of ‘not knowing what the hell was going on.’

So imagine my surprise when I found her gazing at the cyro-pods in delight. “This works out perfectly.”

Silurians, she called them. I dropped to a seated position, probably going into some form of shock, while she paced around the room and ranted about the civilisation that walked the Earth eons before humans evolved (“Eons,” she paused to grin at me. “Love that word. Eons!”). Apparently they saw an asteroid approaching, and evacuated deep underground, putting themselves in stasis until such time as the damage from any impact would have passed. She’d moved over to a raised console built into a slab of rock and had been tinkering with the controls for a good minute before she realise I still hadn’t spoken.

“Soz, that was probably a bit of an overload, wasn’t it? Which bit did I lose you on?”

“The lizards who ruled the earth before humans,” I said softly.

The Doctor’s nose scrunched up in confusion. “Really? That bit makes sense, if you think about it.”

“In what universe does a secret society of Lizards frozen beneath the Mariana Trench make sense?!”

“Well that’s where all those daft stories about the Illuminati come from. It’s just people stumbling across all the different Silurian hibernation chambers and letting their imagination run wild.”  

That did actually make a little bit of sense, but I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of saying so, so I just stayed silent.

“Anyway,” she said, turning back to the controls. “Cheer up, this means there’s probably a way out of here.” That got my attention. I leapt to my feet and came to her side, staring at the panel of strange, unlabelled controls. “The Silurians tunnelled all the way down here, and they were obviously planning to return at some point. So logic says there must be a way out. A lift, or a teleport, or something.” She gasped. “Could be a massive ladder!”

“I’m not climbing a ladder out of the Mariana Trench, Doctor.”

She looked about to respond, but then a shrill, angry bleeping noise erupted from the console. The Doctor stuck her tongue out thoughtfully, the pressed some other buttons, only to be greeted with the same angry bleeping noise. She then tried pointing her metallic object at the controls, but the bleeping noise sounded again. The Doctor glared at the console panel. “Well, now you’re just being difficult.”

“Doctor,” I said, pointing to a small indent in the bottom corner of the console, that looked something like a fingerprint scanner. “It must need, I dunno, authorisation or something.”

I should have noticed the Doctor’s falling expression as she stared at what I’d pointed out. “Oh,” she said, and I should have noticed it was without her usual pep. “That’s a blow.”

Maybe I didn’t want to notice any of it. I was already looking around at which of the Silurians was closest. “So will we need to fully wake them up, or can we just sort of drag one over and then put it back?”

The Doctor turned to me. Her expression was grave. I turned my back on her and marched quickly over to one of the pods so I could pretend to be having a look. “And can it be any old one or does it need to be, like, a Boss or a President or a Mayor? I don’t know what the Silurian political hierarchy was like, was it like ours?”

“Ellie…” said the Doctor. “We can’t. The Silurians wouldn’t understand. They’d want to come back to the surface with us, and they can’t. The Earth isn’t ready for them yet.”

The trip back to the cave was awkward. I walked ahead, in silence. I heard the scuff of the Doctor’s boots behind me, and I felt her worried gaze on my back. And when we got back to the cave, I sat in the corner and didn’t look at her.

I was going to die down here. At Christmas. And everyone in that base above us had no idea they were walking and working on ground that could crumble awake at any second.

And worst of all, the only company I had, the person with which I was to perish, was a buffoon. At a certain point I had to break my sulk and look up at the Doctor, because I could sense her constantly moving and wondered how the hell she could be finding so much to do in a tiny little cave at the bottom of the planet.

Watching her, I still didn’t know. She was rummaging inside her coat pocket for a while, eventually fishing out old Quality Street sweet wrappers of red, green and gold. At one point, I heard her squeak with delight and drop down to examine something in the dirt and soil of the cave floor. When she began to draw more cave paintings and hum merrily to herself, I could take no more. I briefly considered digging the medical tape out of my suit and using it to seal her mouth shut.

“What on earth are you doing?” I asked instead.

She glanced at me over her shoulder. “I’m making the best of it!” she said, and moved aside so that I could see. Next to her 2D fireplace, she had scrawled a Christmas Tree on the wall, with scribbled baubles and doodled tinsel. And now she was humming White Christmas. “We might be stuck down here with no hope of escape. But it’s still Christmas.”

I stared in disbelief. “Are you for real? It is not Christmas.”

She did that nose-scrunch thing again. “I mean, it sort of is.”

“It is Christmas on a technicality!” I yelled. “It is Christmas only in the sense that the date is December 24th. Our current predicament, that being our impending death, takes precedent. And, for that matter, negates all circumstantial Christmas-ness.” I realised that tirade had come off oddly formal, so I added: “So stop being a dope, you big blonde-haired nutter.”

The Doctor, annoyingly, did not look hurt. Or offended. She just shook her head, like I didn’t understand. “That’s not how it works. It doesn’t matter what’s happening. Could be right in the middle of wartime, could be disease and pestilence sweeping the globe, you could be separated from everyone you love. The Titanic could be falling out of the sky! But if any of those things are happening in December, you get to press pause on them for a little bit, and be happy. Because it’s Christmas, and Christmas is magic like that.”

Nice speech. It didn’t work. “You’re a child,” I said, turning back around.

We didn’t talk again for a while. I sat and sat and sat, and at some point I lay down, and at another point I fell asleep.

Hours later, I awoke to a veritable Winter Wonderland.

The Doctor had been busy through the night. She had gone all around the cave, drawing holly and garlands all over the walls. Three tiny knitted stockings were stuck to the hand drawn fireplace. She had carefully placed the different sweet wrappers around the candles, creating a fairylight-like effect of flickering red, green and gold all around. And as I sat up, she was in front of me, beaming.

“Happy Christmas!” she bellowed, and thrust a folded piece of kitchen roll in my face. I took it from her delicately, realising that it was only obscuring something folded within. “Sorry, no wrapping paper. Best I could do.”

I did my best attempt at a smile, given the still pretty awful circumstances, and opened the gift. I had expected to find some random object standing in as a gift. After all, there was hardly a Henrick’s or Magpie Electricals to pop to down here. So when I opened the paper and found two carefully knitted socks, I took me a second to put the pieces together. Finally though, I looked up at her in wonder.

“Is this why you kept asking for my shoe size?”

The Doctor grinned. “Got it in the end. Took a tape measure to your footprint.” She pointed at what I’d seen her messing with on the floor the previous night, an indentation in the mucky ground from my shoe.

That broke my Scrooge-ness. I could continue to be a misery no longer. I thanked the Doctor genuinely, pulled on my new socks, and allowed her to lead me around the cave and tell me in great detail how she had thrown together every single makeshift Christmas decoration. We played snap and charades, and then gathered around the illustrated roaring fireplace to tell ghost stories (the Doctor’s were better than mine).

“I wish I had a gift for you,” I lamented after our Christmas Dinner of raisins and half a Wham bar. The socks really were quite cosy.

The Doctor waved a hand and tried not to look bothered. “No worries. It’s not the getting at this time of year, it’s the giving. That’s what my Mam used to say.” She paused though, then added “But also, if you happened to pack a toothbrush in that suit, I’ll love you forever. It’s been a week.”

A thought struck me. I stood up and wandered over to my discarded OxySuit, and reached into the utility belt. “No toothbrush, sorry. But in the spirit of the season, I gift you the one thing in my possession and pray it brings you happiness and good fortune.” I produced the small roll of medical tape, and tossed it to her.

She did not catch it. She did not even make an attempt. The Doctor had gone dead still since the moment she saw me pull the tape out of the suit. The roll bounced off her tummy and then fell lamely to the floor. Here, she stared at it, eyes wide.

“Doctor?”

When she looked up, there was the biggest smile on her face. “Ellie Tyson, this might be the most important Christmas gift I’ve ever been given.” Then she rushed across the distance and flung her arms around me. “Do you even realise what you’ve done? You’ve saved our lives, you daft little human.”

I had no chance to question her further. The second she let me out of her death-clutch hug, she snatched up the roll of tape and went sprinting out of the cave. I followed her through the narrow passage as best I could, but she was faster than you’d think, and by the time I reached the wall at the end, she was bouncing up and down impatiently. “Come on, come on, come on,” she begged, and I quickly boosted her up onto the ledge and let her heave me up after her.

Back in the Silurian chamber, the Doctor rushed over to the nearest cryogenic pod and started messing with the controls.

“But you said we couldn’t wake them up!” I shouted.

“No time to explain,” she shouted back. “Try and find some sort of powder or talc, any type will do.”

As she pointed her metallic thingy at the pod, I searched all over until I found what was probably the lizard equivalent of baby powder in what was probably the lizard equivalent of a medicine cabinet. I came back to the Doctor to find one of the pod doors open. The Silurian was still completely unmoving, and the air coming from the pod was predictably ice cold.

“What are we doing?” I asked, handing her the bottle.

“Spy stuff,” was her reply. And then, teeth chattering from the cold, I watched her crouch down to be able to coat one of the Silurian’s finger tips in the powder. Then, taking my Christmas gift, she pressed the scale-covered finger into a piece of tape and applied pressure. “That should do it,” she said, and stood up straight again.

“Do what?” I said. Except, no. That wasn’t my voice who had said that. And it wasn’t the Doctor’s either.

It was the Silurian. He was blinking awake, groggy like he’d overslept. “What are we doing?” he asked, then squinted at what was surely a blurry sight of two strangers in front of him. “Who are you?”

“Nobody,” the Doctor squeaked, pressing a complicated sequence of buttons on the panel next to the pod. “We’re nobody. Go back to sleep. We’re just… ghosts. We’re the Ghosts of Christmas Yet To Come.”

The Silurian frowned. “…what’s Christmas?”

“Shush,” said the Doctor, and she quickly closed the door and zapped the controls with her metallic remote, and the Silurian was asleep again.

The Doctor pressed the borrowed fingerprint on the tape into the scanner on the console and it worked perfectly. We were directed to an area at the back of the chamber, where a steel compartment took us back to the surface with frightening speed. We emerged into sparkling daylight, finding ourselves on an island in the Philippines. Well, there are worse places to spend Christmas Day. The Doctor helped me find a phone, which I used to contact central command, who in turn got in touch with Cameron Base One and ordered a speedy evacuation. The Doctor made friends with an old man who had a submarine, and he said he would take her down to retrieve her Blue Box after he’d had his Christmas dinner.

While we waited for the old man to finish his afters, the Doctor and I sat on a beach overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I thought it to be the bluest blue I’d ever seen, but the Doctor said she’d seen blue-er.

“It’s going to be mental down there,” I said, thinking of Cameron Base One. “Everyone loading stuff into boxes, shutting down all the experiments. Must be chaos.”

The Doctor smiled, looking out at the point where, miles and miles below the water, there was a whole base of people packing up and heading home. “It won’t be that bad,” she said. “It will still be Christmas. They’ll make the best of it.”

One Year Later - Part 7

Masterlist

Summary: You and the Mandalorian had been through so much together. You’d become a mother to his foundling and a partner to him. You were in love and you didn’t think that anything could ruin that but after Din hands the child over to his kind. Things fall apart.

Pairings: Din Djarin x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3, I have chosen not to leave warnings for this chapter as I don't want to give the plot away. Read at your own peril... unless you're under 18... in that case, jog on! 😘

Notes: So.... soz this took so long. Been super busy with work and wedding planning so haven't had much time to write. Hope this was worth the wait though.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

4 months later...

You watched from your pond as Din bounced his daughter on his knee, grinning from ear to ear as he smothered her giggling face in kisses. His recovery had come on leaps and bounds since he'd started his treatment. He still required a stick to help him walk and suffered from pain in his lower back from time to time but they were small fish compared to what he'd been frying almost five months prior.

"You're so happy now." Commented Omera as she sidled up beside you "I am glad."

"I am." You replied sweetly as you turned your head to smile at her "I never thought I'd get this."

"Having a family is the greatest gift one can ask for." She stated with a nod, eyes turning to study Din as he continued to gush over Mae.

"I never thought I'd get to raise her with him and now..."

"Now what?" She pushed, giving you a sly smile when your cheeks went pink.

"We're um... Well, we've been talking about having another baby." You confessed and she gasped in surprise before letting out a quiet squeal.

"Really?"

"Mhmm." You nodded, smiling at her obvious excitement "Wouldn't be till he was better obviously. He wants to be able to support me completely."

"And he can't now?" Omera questioned and you sighed.

"I've told him that he's doing a brilliant job with her." You started as you scooped up another load of Krill before pouring them in the basket in Omera's hands "But because he can't carry her around yet or do any work he feels he's not capable of caring for another child."

"You'd have nine months till they're born." Omera pointed out "He'd be a lot stronger by then."

"True." You shrugged your shoulders and gave her a slight nod before scooping up more of the blue creatures you farmed "We haven't been... you know, we haven't..."

"Been intimate?"

You shook your head, eyes staring down at the sieve in your grasp.

"I mean we obviously have been." You chuckled and she grinned at you "But not since we made her and I don't know..."

"Know what?

"He's not exactly shown any interest in being that way with me lately and-"

"He was paralysed 5 months ago." Omera interrupted "It takes time to come back from injuries like the ones he sustained but I have no doubts that he will want that with you when he's ready."

"We haven't really had a moment alone." You confessed and she gave you a sympathetic look "Having a baby kinda puts a damper on downtime."

"How about I have her this weekend?" Omera suggested, "Just give me enough milk for the night."

"I don't know." You said, eyes drifting to them again before returning her gaze "I don't know if he'd be interested."

"Ask him." She said plainly "If he does then great. If not then give it a little more time and suggest it again."

You gave her an unsure nod. You still weren't convinced but the idea of time alone with Din thrilled you. Just that morning you'd woken to his hard member pressing insistently against your backside and you'd hoped he'd wake and take you but instead, Mae had screamed. He'd been up in a flash, limping awkwardly to her crib to calm her as you'd groaned in frustration at your daughter's ill timing.

"All you can do is ask." She finished and you gave her a final nod before continuing your work.

Excited at the idea that you'd finally get some time alone with him. You just hoped he'd agree.

...

You smiled at Din as he limped into the room, stick thumping against the wooden floorboards with each steadied stride he took. You could see the frustration in his face as he walked towards you. Angry that after four months, he still needed an aide to walk but you were nothing but proud of him, he'd come so far. He had setbacks along the way, of course, but you had pushed and supported him and after what had felt like an eternity to the Mandalorian, he had taken a few shaky steps without the bars.

It had all been uphill from there so as you'd pondered Omera's suggestion whilst clearing the dishes from dinner you were more confident that now was the best time to broach the subject of your relationship. You wanted more.

You needed it.

"Mae's down for the night." He said as he sat down on his chair at the table.

"That's good." You replied, giving him a small smile before finishing off your task "There was something I wanted to talk to you about." You said after a few moments of silence, eyes drifting to him.

"Yeah?"

You nodded and he sat back in his chair as he waited for you to speak, nerves fluttering in your stomach as you turned to face him head-on.

"Well, it's... it's just..." You trailed off, suddenly unable to form the words.

"It's what Mesh'la?" He pushed gently, head tilting to the side as he gave you a concerned look.

"Things have been good with us lately." You started and his expression softened "But we haven't really had any time alone."

"Having a baby does that to a couple." He joked and you nodded "What's your point?"

"My point is that Omera has offered to have Mae for a night this weekend." You said, blurting it out with one breath before looking at him and panting slightly as you awaited his response.

"Is that a good idea?" He asked and you visibly deflated "I mean, will Mae be okay away from us? She's never been away from you for longer than a few hours."

"Right. Yeah." You replied, nodding as you turned away, hoping to hide your hurt expression from him.

"It's not that I don't want to spend time with you." He piped up, seeing the change in your posture as you busied yourself with other tasks "I just don't know if it's a good idea is all."

"I understand." You said with a nod before putting away the last few dishes and making your way outside into the fresh air.

You needed a moment to collect yourself, to process your disappointment and part of you felt silly for feeling the way you did. You'd known that he wouldn't agree. He's made no indications that he wanted anything more with you lately other than the odd kiss here and there.

The closest you'd gotten was that morning and he'd been up so fast when Mae had cried that you were sure it was partly from embarrassment. He'd told you he wanted everything with you and yet he'd made no moves in order to obtain it so this just cemented that for you.

Din didn't want you.

Meanwhile, the Mandalorian watched you leave and confusion etched into his features. He wasn't sure why you were upset. He knew it had been difficult to get time together since he'd been here but that was the joys of a family, wasn't it? He wondered if he should go after you but he also wasn't sure what good that would do if he didn't know why you were upset. He'd probably only make things worse. So he sat and waited for you to return, smiling when you walked through the door only to be greeted with a blank expression that made his stomach twist.

"Shall we go to bed Mesh'la?" He suggested as he pushed himself to his feet and grabbed his stick.

"You go." You said, tone void of emotion "I'll sleep out here."

"What?" He yelped, making you jump slightly "Why?"

"Just want to." You replied plainly "Do I need a reason?"

Din knew then that he'd screwed up somehow. You'd not been this cold to him since he'd first returned to you and he hated it. He shook his head as his mouth opened to speak "I suppose not." He said before turning to leave "Goodnight."

You didn't reply.

~

A week passed by and your coldness towards him continued. His heart ached to know what he'd done but you gave him nothing and so he resigned himself to endure your icy countenance.

Omera had noticed the change in you too and had approached you about it. She'd felt for you when you'd told her but she felt for Din too. She could see his struggle and how he yearned for you. Catching him staring at you as you worked and her heart broke for him.

It was clear to her that this was an issue of miscommunication but you were stubborn and set in your ways and he was timid when it came to your temper. She knew a simple conversation would fix this but worried how you'd react to her getting involved yet as time went on she found herself hating how neither of you seemed to take that step towards absolution. She knew she'd need to if you didn't fix this soon or she worried that things would go beyond repair.

You could take a grudge to the grave.

It was another week before she decided that enough was enough. She waltzed up to Din, spotchka in hand and gave him a warm smile as she handed him the beverage.

"Thank you." He said with a nod before returning his gaze to you, his expression killing Omera slowly.

"Still not worked things out?" She asked him and he shook his head, eyes dropping to the glass in his hands.

"No." He confessed and she sighed "Truth is I don't know what it is I need to fix." He said and Omera's brows shot up at this "She won't speak to me. I've asked her what's wrong over and over but she doesn't tell me."

"No?" She questioned and his head shook from side to side again "I'm killing myself here. I want so badly to fix whatever it is I did but how do I do that if I don't know what it was in the first place?"

Omera let out a small sigh as she sat herself down on the chair across from his, her hands in her lap as she worked out how to word what she was about to tell him.

"She doesn't think you want her," Omera said plainly and Din's eyes shot up at that.

"What?" He asked, his shock evident in both his tone and expression "Why would she think that?"

"You don't touch her. You barely kiss her." She started, glancing at you a moment before continuing "I offered to have Mae so that the two of you could explore whatever it is you are."

"But Mae-"

"Is old enough to spend one evening away from her mother." Omera interrupted "She just wanted a chance to talk. You'd told her about how you wanted to have a baby with her... Expand your family and yet you don't give her any physical indicators that you want her in any way so when you said no to my offer... It solidified that for her."

"I do want her that way it's just..." he trailed off, feeling embarrassed and ashamed of what he was about to say before he'd even said it "I'm not the man I once was." He started, scraping a hand over his face before continuing "I doubt I'll ever be again and I don't want her to be disappointed."

"She won't be." Omera assured him "You are getting stronger and stronger every day Mando. You will get better, I am sure of it, but you need to stop pushing your insecurities onto her."

Din nodded, eyes clouding with tears as he looked over at you "I know."

"I'll have Mae tonight." She said firmly, locking eyes with him "You need to use this as an opportunity to show her what she means to you because right now she doesn't think she's anything but the mother of your child."

"She's everything to me." He said, sobbing quietly as he looked over at you again.

"Then tell her."

...

You walked in to see food sitting on the table and a nervous Din stood across from you, shifting from foot to foot as he awaited your reaction. Your icy heart melted a little at the effort he'd clearly made but then your mind wandered to your daughter.

"Where's Mae?" You asked, "I need to feed her."

"She's with Omera." He stated and your head shot up in surprise "Gave her enough milk to last her till breakfast."

"Why?" You snapped and he flinched as he took a step back.

"I was hoping we could talk." He confessed, his voice small.

"I don't want to talk Din." You growled, "I just want to eat and go to sleep."

"Please." He pleaded and you looked at him again, noting his pained posture.

"You should sit. You're clearly uncomfortable." You grumbled as you poured yourself some spotchka from the bottle on the counter and gulped it down.

"Sit with me?" He asked and you let out a sigh as you shrugged and made your way over to the table "Omera cook all this?"

Din shook his head "I did." He said nervously and your expression softened a little "I wanted to do something nice for you and..." He trailed off and you felt the anger you harboured towards him start to fizzle out.

So you sat, taking a moment to admire the food he'd made before tucking in and giving him a nod when you realised he was staring at you, awaiting your verdict.

The two of you ate in silence then, the tension in the air started to disperse as the food was eaten and enjoyed. When you were done, he stood and grabbed the plates, intending to do the dishes but one step sent him tumbling. You were on your feet in a heartbeat, gathering the dishes and placing them on the side before helping Din sit. Your heart broke when your eyes met.

"I'm useless." He sobbed and you shook your head "Can't even carry dishes from the table."

"This all takes time Din." You said softly "You're doing so well."

"I can't be the man I want to be for you though." He stated and this took you by surprise "I want to be the man I was when we met."

"You are." You assured him and he scoffed "You suffered major trauma. You had spinal surgery Din! You don't just walk that off."

Din said nothing, just sobbed silently from his seat on the floor whilst he willed the pain to pass and as you watched him, all the anger dissolved. His statement suddenly made everything clear to you. You had insecurities and so did he.

"Come." You said as you helped him to his feet "Let's get you to bed."

"But our evening..." He sobbed and you smiled at him.

"Can be spent in bed whilst you rest." You said sweetly and he nodded, allowing you to help him limp to the bedroom before sitting him on the edge of the bed you shared "I'll be back in a moment." You said "Going to grab you some of those painkillers the doc left you."

He nodded, watching you leave before gingerly getting onto the bed and leaning against the headboard as he waited for you to come back. You were back only a moment later with water and a pill in hand, handing them both to him and watching as he polished them off quickly.

"Perhaps I should go fetch Mae." You suggested as you stood across from the bed, nervously playing with your hands.

"No point disturbing her now." He said with a smile "I expect she's down for the night."

"You sure?" You asked and he nodded.

"Come sit with me." He said, patting the bed beside him and letting his head fall back as the medicine did its work.

"Better?" You asked as you got comfortable, noting the lines of pain had left his face.

"Much." He said with a smile, nodding as he rolled his head to look at you "I'm sorry I've not been a good partner to you."

"Where did that come from?" You asked, brows shooting up in shock.

"Omera spoke to me." He confessed "She told me that you felt you didn't matter to me. That I don't want you." He started and you looked away guiltily, a single tear slipping down your cheek "Mesh'la... that couldn't be further from the truth. You are everything to me."

"Din I-"

"Please." He said, raising his hand to stop you "I've been struggling with my own demons lately. Worrying about whether I'll ever be good enough for you... Whether I'll be a good dad but what I hadn't realised is that I was pushing those insecurities onto you and I'm sorry."

"We'd been talking about having another baby and then... well lately you show no interest in anything physical with me and I started to think perhaps you didn't want that anymore."

"I do." He assured you "Just when I'm better perhaps? We'd cope better I think."

"I think we can do it now." You said, taking his hand "You will be a good father whether you can walk unaided or not Din. You are already an amazing father to Mae and you will be to any future children we have."

"I just want to be able to carry them like any normal parent." He said, voice wobbling.

"And hopefully you will." You kissed him softly, resting your brow on his as you continued "Takes nine months to grow a baby Din." You chuckled "A lot can happen in nine months."

"True." He conceded and you smiled "So does this mean we're going to try?" He asked and you shrugged.

"We don't have to start now." You started "No pressure from me. But maybe soon? If you want" You finished, looking away shyly.

"Can we start now?" He asked, eyes darkening with lust and you shivered.

You nodded, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you gazed back at him.

"Now's good." You squeaked, heart, beating rapidly with a mixture of excitement and anticipation before he was on you. Kissing you roughly as he pushed you onto your back and settled between your legs.

The painkillers had done their work and so before you knew it, the two of you were bare for each other and painting each other's skin with your frenzied breaths. His dominant hand slipped between your thighs, groaning at the slick he found there before sinking two thick fingers into your heat.

You moaned loudly, not caring who might hear as he pumped and curled his digits with an accuracy that only he could achieve. Your hands gripped his shoulders as he thrust his fingers more violently into you and your mind went into a frenzy at the squelching sounds this action made. The whole thing was lewd but you couldn't find it in you to care as you curled his fingers into that spongy spot within and you broke.

"Shiiiiit." You gasped as you pulsed around his fingers, nails digging into his soft skin whilst he worked you through it.

Then his digits were removed and replaced with his thick and painfully erect member, filling you deliciously with one thrust. He paused to let you adjust, kissing you languidly as your hands travelled from his shoulders to his hips, urging him to move with a gentle pull.

His pace was slow, unhurried but deep and passionate. You moaned and gasped into each other's mouths as he continued his toe-curling pace. It was unlike any sex you'd had with him... With anyone and as he continued to hit that perfect spot over and over, you finally understood what it was like to make love.

As your moans became more frantic, so did his thrusts. He captured each sound you made with his mouth as he fucked into you at a dizzying pace and before you even realised it was happening, you were cumming on him, squeezing his length in order to drag him along with you but he wasn't ready, not yet.

Grabbing your leg he pulled it up and to his waist, opening you further for him. Allowing him to his even deeper and you mewled at the sensation, struggling to keep a coherent thought in your head as he brought you back to the edge in no time at all.

"One more." He purred against the shell of your ear and that was all you needed to tip the scales again.

You clutched to him for dear life as you clenched around him, grinning when his hips stuttered and stopped, one final thrust burying him deep inside your centre as he panted over you.

'Think it worked?" He asked and you chuckled.

"I hope so." You breathed as you ran your finger through his curly locks and grinned at his blissed-out expression.

"The process is fun." He joked and you smirked at him "Think we should repeat it a few more times to be safe."

"Agreed." You replied kissing him sweetly "Certainly before we get Mae back." You finished with a wink.

"Definitely."

Next

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Fic Tags: @creativefangirling123 @pedroslilbitch @ghost-lantern @lothiriel9

“And now I’m looking at you...”

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Summary: Getting ready to celebrate an anniversary things don’t really go as planned for you and Peter.

Warnings: Minor cussing?

Words: 3.7k+

A/N: 1 year + later, soz :(, I finally got the courage to post the second part to this, Part 1: Forgotten Anniversary. I hope you guys enjoy! I’m working on part 3/ it’s finished but I just don’t know if I’ll post it or not lmao. But nonetheless, I hope you guys enjoy? And if ya’ll do make sure to give it a little heart!

Part 2: Words Unsaid

“I heard yelling so I just came to see what happened?”

You groaned as you ran your hands through your hair looking around at all the clothes thrown on your bed. “I don't know what to do.”

Tony chuckled and walked up behind you to see the mess that was your room. “Well you just ditched Pepper and I to go on a date with Spiderling so—“

Rolling your eyes at that statement you turned around to face him. “I know that, I mean what am I going to wear! I just did my make-up and I look okay, I guess, and my hair won’t stay down!” You yelled as you flattened your hair down.

Frowning at that Tony placed a hand under your chin so you could look up at him. “Well your face is fine, I mean I helped make it, and your hair well just a little frizzy, which we can put something on it right? And now for what you're going to wear…” He hummed letting go of your face and looked at the clothes scattered all over your bed, finally leaning over and grabbing at something.

You looked at him quizzically. “What are you getting?”

“Where is he even taking you, bug?” Tony asked as he picked up clothes and hung them in front of you.

“Why do you ask?” You questioned crossing your arms against your chest.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “So I can take Pepper there too and make it a double date.” He laughed as you glared at him. “I’m kidding, I just don't want you to clash with the decor.”

The comment he made got your shoulders to relax a little and a small smile tugged at the end of your lips.  “Well if you must know we’re going to go eat sushi.”

“Oh well isn’t raw fish romantic?” He smiled as he kept picking up dresses and tossing them aside.

“I know!” You practically yelled clapping your hands together not picking up his teasing tone.

It went on like this for a couple of minutes; you standing there as your dad picked up dresses with you finally getting the courage to argue why you couldn’t wear certain things. When his eyes settled on a red skater dress at the bottom of the pile he grabbed it and handed it to you.

“Here wear this,” he said exasperated, “also don’t forget to take a coat just in case.” He nodded towards the grey coat that was hanging on the back of your wingback chair. You looked at the dress stunned, finally picking up the little details that would go perfect with it.

“How did you do that? At first it was just a normal dress and now it’s a five month anniversary dress.” You ran off towards the bathroom connected to your room to get ready.

Tony sat down on the edge of your bed and picked up a picture of you sitting on his shoulders as you fed him ice cream. His lip quirked up remembering that day. He set it back down and his eyes trailed to a photo-booth picture of you and Peter, just making silly faces at the camera until the last one was one of you two almost kissing.

“You’re really excited about this aren’t you bug?” He shouted, keeping his eyes on the pictures beside your bed.

There was shuffling coming from the bathroom as you answered back. “Yeah, I mean I know it’s just five months but it’s like I’ve never been with someone that long.”

There was the sound of heels clicking on the floor as you walked towards the doorway that connected the bathroom and your bedroom, “Okay so how do I look?”

Tony looked up at you, a grin plastering his face, “You look beautiful, bug.”

You smiled back and walked towards the wingback chair to sit and put on your shoes. “Thank you, now I’ll just have to get some lipstick to match.”

“Mr. Stark, Peter Parker is here.” Friday said over head.

Grabbing your coat, you sped towards the door tripping over your own feet. “I think that’s for me, thank you Friday!”

&&.

Peter was waiting near the sofa talking softly to Pepper, while Morgan napped on the other side of the couch. He heard you before he saw you because Tony was yelling after you to be careful and to put on your coat. He looked over when he saw Pepper roll her eyes and laugh at the image behind him. Tony was trying to put your coat on for you like when you were little as you were trying to fix your shoes. Finally realizing that Peter was staring, you swatted your dad’s hands away and smiled up at Peter as a blush crept over your face.

“Wow, you look, a-amazing.” Peter stuttered as he fumbled to grab your hand.

Looking down to hide the pink crawling over your face you mumbled, “Thank you, Peter.”

You both stood there for a few moments as Pepper stood up and walked towards Tony. He was attempting to not snicker at the sight in front of him, he gave the teens a few moments until he cleared his throat shaking both of you out of the trance.

Peter looked at your dad with wide eyes, “M-Mr. Stark, how are you this evening? I'm sorry I had to take her, it’s just that, w-well you know,” he said as he fixed the collar of his shirt.

Tony raised his hands to quiet him down.“It’s fine kid, just as long as you don’t keep her out too late, I still want to eat ice-cream with her when she comes home.”

“Me too,” you all heard Morgan mumble as she started getting up.

Peter cleared his throat and gave a sharp nod, “I’ll have her back by 10 sir.”

You rolled your eyes and started walking towards the couch to give Morgan a kiss on the cheek before dragging Peter towards the elevator, “I’ll be home at 11 dad.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and followed you, “Peter said 10, so you’ll be back by 10.”

“I’ll make it 11 in the morning.” You fought back as you stepped into the elevator and pressed the button to take you to the main floor.

“Ohhhhh,” Morgan said attempting to hide a giggle with her hand.

He stopped the elevator door from closing and stared you down but you didn’t back out. You were your fathers daughter after all, he finally sighed and agreed, “11 is fine.”

You smirked and pressed the button to close the elevator door. “Thank you, I’ll be back later, bye daddy, bye Pepper, love you Morgana.” You and Peter waved as the doors started closing in front of you.

“Have fun!” Pepper shouted back.

&&.

Pepper kept waving until the doors completely shut. She turned to Tony and smacked his chest, looking up at him. “I didn’t think you would actually let her go.”

Tony shrugged, picked up Morgan from the couch and walked to the kitchen so he could see the menu that they were ordering from, “She’s excited and I don’t like seeing her with a frown on her face.”

Pepper saw that he was nervously tapping his fingers on the kitchen counter, not even reading the menu just staring at it, as Morgan looked and pointed at the pictures. Pepper walked behind him and reached over to grab his hand, “At least it’s with someone you know and trust, for obvious reasons,” She whispered to him.

He sighed turning around to look at Pepper, “Yeah at least it is with someone nice.”

“Too nice?” Pepper questioned with a smirk on her face.

Tony groaned and rested his head on her shoulder, “Don’t push because I will actually go after them and sit two tables behind them,” he mumbled.

“Can we?” Morgan said excitedly looking at her mom.

Pepper threw her head back and laughed at him, “She’d hate you.” Turning to Morgan she kissed the top of her head, “Don’t think so little one we have to stay here and protect daddy.”

Tony shook his head smiling and sat down the kitchen counter with his youngest daughter on his lap. “She grew up to fast huh? Why did time go by so fast?” He sighed as he rested his chin on the palm of his hand.

“Stop, I don't need to see you cry. Plus you still have one small child.” Pepper said as she starting dialing the number to the restaurant that they were ordering from.

He hummed as he grabbed the menu again to look it over, “Do you think it’s too late to convince Steve to follow them?”

Pepper mouthed no and threw a dish towel at him as he grabbed his phone.

&&.

Peter took you to a small sushi restaurant that was near Central Park. You were sat at a small table near the window, with a candle lit in the middle of it. The waiter was clearing away the plates as you thanked him and Peter ordered dessert. “Everything was so good.” You sighed and smiled at him.

He was cleaning the edge of his mouth with a napkin and looked up at you, “Really, how was the gyoza?”

“Great.”

He leaned into the table, looking at you with a serious expression. “How about the fish appetizer thing? Was it too much?”

“Just much enough.”

His eyes lit up at that comment, “Really?”

You giggled and reached over to grab his hand. “Peter, everything was perfect even the soda was good. I don't know but the soda here is far superior to the soda anywhere else.”

Peter leaned back onto his chair and gave you a smug grin. “Okay, at what point did you start making fun of me?”

“I would never make fun of you. Especially not after you ordered 4 different types of sushi for me because I couldn't decide.” You said smiling at him.

You saw him relax at that comment and leaned forward to grab your hand again. “Well you shouldn't have to decide, I think you deserve and should have anything you want.”

He started drawing circles on the back of your hand, making you sigh at his touch. “I’m just going to say it, I’m a big fan of the five month anniversary.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded, “Yup. I think there should be t-shirts and a parade.”

“I think we can work on the parade.” He replies squeezing your hand.

“You did all of this for me. Peter we could have just gone to get sandwiches, something simple.” You said shaking your head, grinning.

He scrunched his nose and stuck his tongue out, “You can’t make me feel bad for spoiling you, plus we should do something special right? You don’t celebrate five months with sandwiches. Plus it’s not even over yet.”

He waggled his eyebrows, you were about to question him when a waiter came up with your dessert. “Here is some mochi ice cream, a slice of chocolate cake, and two spoons.”

“Thank you.” You both said smiling up to the waiter.

When the plate settled in between both of you, Peter handed you a spoon, “We both have to try it at the same time. Ready? Dig in.”

Both of you took big spoonfuls of the mochi and chocolate cake, and practically moaned at the taste of it, “Okay so if the date were going completely wrong, this would definitely save it, right?” Peter said around a mouthful of dessert.

Dragging the plate closer to you so he wouldn’t be able to reach, “I’m not giving you anymore at all.”

He laughed and put his spoon down, “So after we finish this, because Mr. Stark would kill me if I give you too much ice cream since this is his thing with you. We move onto phase two of the anniversary evening.”

You quirked an eyebrow at him and slid the plate back towards him, “Phase two. Sounds very official, are there space suits involved?”

“With matching helmets,” he smirked.

“Very impressive,” you nodded slightly as he leaned forward to kiss your cheek.

&&.

You really didn’t know what you were expecting as you and Peter walked hand in hand towards the docks. The sun was setting and the salty breeze was making you shiver. You were so focused on what Peter was saying that you didn’t even realize that he had stopped walking. He spun around on the balls of his feet, raising both hands gesturing to a small white boat with leather seats and fairy lights strung around it. “So there are no space suits, but I asked your dad if I could use one of his boats.”

“And he let you?” You asked, stunned at the image in front of you.

Peter stepped on the wooden platform and then promptly helped you down taking your hand, he led you both towards the boat.

“Yes but I couldn't choose one that was too comfortable or one that had a room with a bed.” He said blushing.

You rolled your eyes knowing that your dad would have definitely questioned Peter about everything, giggling to yourself. “Of course he did.”

Walking around the boat taking the heels that you had worn off, “Do you even know how to steer this thing?” You asked a little nervous as you touched the steering wheel of the boat.

“‘Course I do.” Peter answered a little too quickly for your liking, his voice cracking a little. You raised your eyebrow and looked at him questioning his response. “Okay so, I might have programmed Karen with the help of your dad and do test runs on it but it works!” He said raising his hands up in defense sitting down on the seat behind the steering wheel.

You laughed at that and sat down next to him, “Okay so a boat ride in the evening with all of New York lit up with my favorite boy. I wouldn't mind being here forever, Captain.” You said, leaning in and intertwining your fingers with his.

He turned on the boat and brought up your hand to his lips to kiss your knuckles, “Well let’s go then.”

&&.

He stopped in what felt like the middle of the ocean, you guys were far enough to where you could only hear the city noises faintly. He took the pillows that were on the seats and set them down on the floor of the boat so you both could sit down.

“Are you cold?” He asked, noticing that you were getting closer and trying to snuggle up against him.

“Just a little.” You said looking up at him.

“Well I’m glad I brought a blanket and—“ he let it drawl out as he walked towards the seats that were behind the steering wheel, lifting up the bottom of it he pulled out a blanket and a wicker basket.

“A basket?” You questioned as he came back and sat down next to you, setting the basket down in front of you.

Peter sighed and chuckled, he pulled the basket towards you, “Maybe take a look in the basket?”

Opening up the lid to the basket you saw a bottle of what looked like champagne nestled beside two champagne flutes and a clear container that had chocolate covered strawberries. You looked up at him and raised a single eyebrow,  “Chocolate strawberries and two champagne flutes?”

“It’s apple cider and if you keep digging a bit I also brought a portable dvd player.”

He handed you the blanket as he set up the dvd player in front of you both and opened the bottle of apple cider. He poured the cider into the champagne flutes as you popped open the container with the strawberries. You wrapped the blanket around you both and finally settled comfortably on the pillows.

“There we go.” Peter said as the movie started to play, wrapping his arm around you making you snuggle in closer to him.

The movie played but after a while you looked up at the stars that were shining bright above both of you. “You’re so nice for bringing me here.” You whispered at him. “And you brought pillows and a blanket, and champagne flutes.”

He looked at you giving you a lopsided smile, “I’m glad you’re impressed by the champagne flutes, I worked hard to get those.”

You smacked him on the chest because of his teasing and gestured at the boat. “I’m more impressed with you getting to use a boat with my dad’s blessing.”

He hummed at your statement and took a look around until his eyes settled back on you. “Me too, but he said complete safety so here we are.”

You giggled and rested your head in the crook of his neck. You looked at the city in front of you watching the lights of the buildings flicker.

“I love the lights, I never knew New York could be this pretty.” You said as you kept looking forward.

“You’re pretty,” he said as he gave you a smile that made the corner of his eyes crinkle.

“You’re really cheesy you know that?” You said as you turned your head to look at him.

He laughed at that and hugged you closer to him. “Yeah well, you're the only one who gets to see this.”

He leaned back on the pillows and pulled you with him until he was laying down and your head was resting on his chest. The movie was completely forgotten as you both laid there looking at the stars. The only noises that you could hear were the soft waves of the water that were crashing into the boat and the soft hum of the movie that was playing.

“It’s one of those moments right now,” you whispered breaking the peaceful silence that was enveloping you two.

“What moments?” He asked as he lazily drew circles on your back.

You pressed yourself against him wrapping the blanket tighter around you. “One of those moments where everything is so perfect and great that you almost feel nothing will be this good again.”

“So basically I’m making you sad?” He asked as he pulled you in closer to him.

“Yup.”

He chuckled and pressed a kiss on the top of your head, “You’re very weird.”

“And you’re perfect.” You muttered pressing your face into his chest.

You stayed there for a few moments cuddled together, with him trailing his fingers up and down your spine while your arms were wrapped around him.

“Little love?” He whispered so low that you barely heard him.

“Yeah?” You asked as you raised you head to look up at him.

Both of you were looking at each other as you broke into a grin. You opened your mouth to say something but he stopped you as he blurted out 3 words that you didn’t know you were ready to hear.

“I love you.” He said.

You didn’t answer, you were just staring at him your grin fading away with the ticking seconds that passed.

“Sweets?” He asked again as he propped himself up on his elbows.

“Yeah?”

He looked at you his brow furrowing, “Did you hear me?”

“Uh huh.” You replied meekly.

He frowned as he raised himself up to sit down. “Well, aren't you going to say something?”

Sitting up next to him you wrapped the blanket tighter around you, “I’m cold.” You muttered mostly to yourself looking down.

He scooted away from you and wrapped his arms around himself to block the cold, “Is that it?”

You snapped your head up, “No, it’s just… I’m surprised is all and I didn’t expect, I just don’t.”

Peter flinched at the that, finally standing up and walking to the edge of the boat, “You don’t love me,” he said exasperated.

“No I just have to process it and think about—“ you tried again, walking up to Peter.

“Think about what?” He spat when he turned around, not looking at you.

You tugged the strands of your hair behind your ear. “Well, saying I love you is a big step, and it's a really difficult thing,” you stammered.

He tugged at the collar of his shirt, pacing up and down, “Well I just did it.”

“And you did such a good job.”

He stopped at that and finally looked at you, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I’m sorry it just came as a surprise. I mean the dinner and the boat ride and the champagne flutes, and I just need a moment,” you said sitting down and wrapped the blanket tighter around you.

“Will you stop about the champagne flutes?” He snapped, making you flinch. “And this is not something you think about, you either feel it or you don’t.”

You could feel the tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, “Please don’t be mad,” you whispered.

“Why? Because I say I love you and you want to think about it? I'm sorry, like I am such an idiot. I don’t even know what I was thinking.” He finally settled down behind the steering wheel of the boat.

You walked up behind him and rested your hands on his shoulders tentatively, “Peter. Please it’s not that easy for me. Saying I love you means a lot and I’ve never…”

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, “Just forget it okay? I’ll bring the boat back and take you home.”

You sat next to him but it felt like you were a hundred miles apart. “Peter, tonight was amazing. It was perfect. Please just let me—“ you tried again.

He turned on the boat and shifted it into gear, “Whatever it doesn’t matter, all right?”

“Peter…”

&&.

“Why don’t we just keep ordering dinner in? That wasn’t bad at all.” Tony asked, as he was helping Pepper clean up the dishes.

Pepper sighed and reached up towards the cabinets to put dishes away, “Because this isn’t healthy, we couldn’t do this everyday.”

Tony scoffed and threw a dish towel over his shoulder, “And why the hell not? We eat ice cream everyday.”

Pepper smiled up at Tony as she wrapped her arms around his waist, “I’ve been meaning to tell you, that you two need to stop doing that.”

Before Tony could argue, he heard the elevator ding.

“Y/N!” Morgan shouted from the living room, catching both her parents attention.

Him and Pepper exchanged confused looks before he finally shouted. “Bug? Is that you?”

“Y-yeah…” you stuttered back an answer as you tried to hurry past the kitchen to the stairs.

“He actually got you back before, I’m impressed.” Tony hummed, starting to get the bowls of ice-cream out.

Pepper was about to argue with him, when she noticed that you were standing at the bottom of the stairs clutching the hand rail. “Hey bug, what’s wrong?”

“We broke up.”

Thanks for reading! 3rd part coming soon?

oo.. a read more.. how mysterious ;)

shsjjdhdjf hi! it’s pretty and fluffy yes ! some of it have melted away though sadly.. 🥺 how are you? hope your day has been amazing <333

i tried to go to dragonspine last night because albedo’s quest opened up for me a while back and it took me there and i failed like two seconds after so i just went to bed all angry shekdhskdbncj i kept thinking about how easy it would be if you had diluc, xiangling or klee on your team since they do ‘big’ fire attacks that would help with the frost... :(

have you decided that you want to build your whole team or just focus on 1-2 characters? i’ve heard some people say that it’s better to do just 1-2 but i’m hesitant over it... they’re your main team for a reason you want them all to be reliable yk..?

“LEGEND OF KORRA?” omg..... fun fact the first klance fic i ever wrote (never released it though since its still unfinished hskshdj) was a klance lok au! imagine the boys as rival probenders... 🥴 lance waterbender... keith firebender..... 🥵 but thank goodness you decided to give it a shot sjdkfjdk look where it lead us.

i meant that exactly! that’s not negative that’s just life because same here. i ended up just deleting everything when i started uni (the only thing i have left is tumblr) because it’s kind of hard keeping up with fandoms and stuff when the weight of the world is on your shoulders ... :/ even lost contact with practically all my internet friends lmao sheesh. do you still find it difficult to find motivation to write n stuff? (this is such a heavy topic soz)

us on our date.... chillin... suddenly hilichurls attack. incredibly romantic.... <3333 venti to your xiao i wish!!!!! #bringventiback2k21pls 🥺.. dude you reminded me!!!! i was on ao3 the other day (as one usually is) and did you know there are so many genshin fics? i was SO surprised?? kind of fun tho, have you checked them out?

no need to promise!! but you have my undying support <333

ohhh?? you wouldn’t? i mean your reasoning is absolutely valid!! the end was most definitely very disheartening in so many ways lol.... i probably would still tbh i just miss them a lot. like getting a chance to see lance and keith again with the same voice actors n everything??? i think i’d do anything for that LMAO when it comes to story though i have no idea... not really sure what they could do with it. maybe something with lotor?

YOU WATCHED SPIRITED AWAY????!!!?!? BABY I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! i’m so so so so so glad you like it oh my gooooood this is the best news ever <333333333333333333 i take it you’re now finished with it; what did you think? 🥺 also howl’s... girl my heart is soaring. i just know you’re gonna enjoy it so much!! aaaaah, let me know when you check it out <3333

icb you’re teasing me like this....,,..... ‘just wait until you read the last section’ i’ll just go die then. that was already so beautiful and there’s more??????? let me go back to my original roots and ask; hand in marriage? 🥺💍 multiverse.... i have questions.... is it like, a one shot for each or is it like.. jumping between the universes? 🥺

stay safe, stay healthy mwah!! 🥰

hiyaaaa~

awww does snow not stay for long where you are? or is it not cold/thick enough to stay 😔 and i’m good! didn’t get as much done as i wanted but tomorrow certainly.. (i say every day FHSKFSD) hope yours is amazing as well <3 :*

FHSDKJFHSDKFHSJD omg ripppp im sorry 😭 but one day!!!! you will conquer dragonspine i can feel it. oooo wait do you not have xiangling yet? :o and also you mentioning diluc reminds me of this tweet i saw here, maybe he isn’t actually optimal for that enviroment AHAHA

yeah i agree with you! I kinda focus on building the traveller most bc i use him a lot of the time, but recently i’ve been trynna build everyone else up too and balance them out. like you said we want them all reliable and they all have different uses and functions, so.

PRO!!! BENDERS!!!!!!!!! omg wait were they gonna be... forced to work on the same team?? 🤪🥵 either way S tier concept. but also um excuse me?? you write fic too?!?!?! “first klance fic i ever wrote” implying there are more??? maybe published ones??????????? i won’t ask for links in case it like outs you LOL but omg??? excuse me?? how is this the first time i’ve heard about it >:(

shit that sucks :(( ugh im sorry you felt the need to do that! :( is it also kinda freeing and relaxing tho? that you’re not involved or have any connections or obligations.. idk sometimes all that overwhelmes me too. sometimes i have a really hard time writing yeah, but that’s also due to various other reasons unrelated to school. like twice a month i tell my friends i’ll quit FHSJFKDSHK but i never do lollll and then sometimes i’ll just get hit with such an intense urge to write and then im like?? i was so stupid for thinking otherwise? (and no worries at alll <3)

FJHSDKFS couples that fight together stay together 🤪 i think that was in one of my todobaku? fics LOL. okay but i saw some leaks (which i don’t condone but welp) suggesting that maybe... venti would return 2 banners after xiao or something so hopefully!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was looking at tier lists too and he was really high up so now im like fuuuuck maybe i can’t spend on my primogems for xiao i’ll have to save again FHSDKJFSD. ngl i was pretty surprised to see so many fics too! but nah i haven’t really read anything, hbu? also did you know there’s an official genshin impact webtoon? i haven’t read it but i am considering itttt

<33333333

AHAH yeah that’s fair tho. i think s8 ruined it so much for me that anything else would make me feel empty sighhhhh. but i was also gonna say something about lotor! honestly i feel like if they did make something else, it’d be a prequel or something, maybe even the prior paladins, so we wouldn’t even get to see klance at all fhkfhsksd.

i really liked it!! not sure if it was bc i zoned out towards the end tho, but i felt like the ending came pretty quickly? or maybe i was just so immersed i didn’t want it to end... ahaha. but i still stand by the fact i love haku sm..... i think i’ll watch howl’s tomorrow! i considered starting it tonight but i still wanna soak in spirited away for a bit so... we shall see <3 but ofc i’ll def let you know all my thoughts when i do

YOU ALREADY HAVE MY HAND BOO!!! you have my whole heart too just take it i’m giving it to you 😩❤👐. it’s one shot for each! I was actually considering making it a multichap with each chap as a new universe, but i have a horrible track record with those and idk that i could make each universe long enough fhdkfjs. ugh honestly i’m tempted to just like send you what i currently have anyway bc i honestly don’t think i’ll ever finish it fhskdf but there are some good moments in there that deserve to be Seen..

thank you!! you too, hope you’re all nice and warm 😘🤩

「 harry styles. cismale. he/him. 」i hope that #lexsquad member「 ARES BYERS 」adds me to the squad ! the 「 TWENTY THREE 」year old 「 FINANCE 」 major has been apart of the squad since 「 DECEMBER 2018 」and seems to be the 「 THE RECUSANT」of the group.「 ARES 」is a「 SENIOR 」 and seems to enjoy 「 BOXING AND SOCCER 」but you can always find them at a squad party , too !

listen don’t say i didn’t warn you, this is a lil long. but if you guys are interested in any connections ( scroll down to the end for some ideas ) then pls hit me up. im so ready.

okay basically i’ll do a summary in case y’all dont wanna read his SAD story. tw: domestic abuse, abandonment, alcohol abuse. 

Summary: ARES BYERS, 23, SENIOR.

A finance major at LexU.

He’s currently doing both soccer and boxing, but soccer would be for his athletic scholarship. ( he has a full ride )

Boxing would definitely be like more of an anger relief thing and honestly, he defs loves soccer but he knows he can’t rely on that for a forever thing. plus he defs things boxing is good money, yknow that side hustle illegal shit

Loves art like a lot.

 He visits his siblings probably every other day or whenever he can because he really is so protective of them or he’d even bring them to campus all the time even though his “ step dad” hates it.

His relationship with his mum is still super strained because she really is in denial about her toxic abusive situation with his “step dad”  and hes trying to tell her hes going to get her out and she just does not want to.

His mum is an alcoholic and his stepdad is physically abusive to them like most of her past partners which is something ares has been dealing with since he was a child.

hes solely doing finance to get a good job to get his mum and siblings out of the situation theyre in now.

he wants sole custody of his 3 siblings but i mean, he needs a stable job and place to live aka finance

 has 3 younger sisters who he adores.

HISTORY STUFF ( YIKES SOZ ) Its long everybody.

 He was born to teenage parents who hadn’t even graduated high school yet. They had a pretty tumultuous situation and his dad really didn’t think they should have a kid, but his mum thought that it would bring them closer together and make his dad mature…. Which definitely didn’t end up happening.

once Ares was born his dad stuck around for about a year or two before basically abandoning them and offering to give up parental rights to his mum Alycia.

That’s when things basically just went downhill. It really messed with his mum, obviously she was supporting ares on her own with no support from anyone, no family and very little money, at the time she had been trying to go to school but had to give that up once she was the sole provider for Ares. And the fact that someone she thought was going to be her partner abandoned her just led her down a pretty dark path.

It was just his mum and him after this. There wasn’t a lot of stability for them. His mum for a while was the only family he had. his grandma wasn’t really very supportive of his mum having the baby and living with his dad etc and they’re relationship was quite strained too.

• By the time Ares was about 12 he was already probably mature beyond his years, his mum by then had basically gave herself up to alcohol and had some pretty bad shady boyfriends in the house. Ares would definitely still vividly remember like explosive fights between her and boyfriends where things got physical between them and even to Ares from multiple different boyfriends.

His schooling was just.. a mess he definitely repeated a grade or two because of the commotion of home life.

Regardless though he was still VERY protective of his mum even if he felt pretty abandoned by her, he was just confused why she was letting these people come around when they were better on just the two of them. But that really didn’t last long, his mum ended up having multiple other kids with different people.

 So he has Maeva, Orion and Lea who are his half siblings and theyre all under 12.

I  think he definitely grew up faster than most because he always felt an urge to protect his mum and his siblings now especially. he worried about them all. He was definitely an anxious kid.

• His mum ended up marrying but honestly Ares couldn’t hate his stepfather more. He would refuse and still does refuse to call him dad or stepdad because he truly thinks he’s a piece of shit. Like he knows he treats his mum like shit and hes had no problem being physical with the both of them and once ares got old enough he really did start fighting back which only made it worse.

There’s probably been multiple times where its been ares calling the police on him after he fought with his mum but as usual his mum always takes his side which honestly fucked ares up constantly but eventually as soon as he could he was working even at like 13/14 because he was desperate to save money thinking he could help his family get out of the fucking mess they were in.

 His number one priority is and will always be his mum and his sisters even though deep down I think he has some kind of resentment towards his mum he’ll always love her. He just wishes that she would take his side especially against his “ step dad”

Basically though once he was about that age he realised he really needed to start focusing on school, grades and sport anything he could so he had some kind of chance to get into a good uni and get his family out of everything. Like he knew he’d need somewhere he could get a full ride since theyd never be able to afford it and somewhere still nearby so he could look after his sisters still.

 His stepdad knew though that ares was working even when he wasn’t supposed to be and he really took advantage of that, he was definitely beyond lazy and ares basically always felt more of a parent to his sister than anyone else.

 So basically he ended up graduating – late however he was 19 when he graduated high school because of repeats and luckily enough he got a full ride to Lexington university and he really took it within a heartbeat. He ended up choosing finance not because its anything he’s interested in but because he wanted something that would pay really well so he can support his family, but he knew he didn’t have 8 years to do medical school etc.

Personality:

 he can have a shitty attitude won’t lie, like he’s very focused and set on what he wants and needs to do and he wants no one getting in the way of that.

He’s super into boxing to release a lot of the pent up anger he obviously feels and really because he wanted to know how to fight back all the assholes his mum had in his life.

He is can be extroverted and talkative but I think with the people who aren’t close to him or to people he doesn’t have a real trust in it’s probably a pretty surface level. Its never about his family or past in fact I think that part would be something very few if any people know about.

his sisters aka his pride and joy, he probs has pictures of them in his wallet.

He likes to keep things light hearted as a distraction from himself but he definitely doesn’t let people in easily.

He really tries to avoid confrontation because it’s so triggering to him but he does have a temper which is what scares him. He is like paranoid he’s going to become a product of his environment so he goes against that as much as he can but if people come for his family or anything he would lose it.

Can be aloof.

 Has a hard time trusting anyone has good motives or will stick around because of much he’s been abandoned and how manipulative the people in his mums were.

He’s cynical.

 He really holds onto grudges pretty easily.

His ass is pretty sarcastic and witty, a huge smart ass.

 He’s not into commitment right now or he’s avoiding. Like the only examples he’s ever seen of relationships have been a mess and it’s not exactly his priority. ( but lbr  whats the fun in that. )

 He tries to abstain from alcohol but he finds that pretty hard. When he does he tends to drink pretty heavily which is why he tries not to because he knows it obviously has caused his mum so much grief.

 Hes an escapist.

 He’s really super protective though, of the people he does have in his life I think he really wants to give those people the things he didn’t have so he overcompensates and would literally fight whatever or whoever for the people around him.

he hates authority.

•He definitely is really big into art but that’s also something really personal he doesn’t share much and he knows like that isn’t going to provide for his family which is exactly why he's done finance.

Connections:

MY FAVE PART!!!

Long lost half sibling aka the child his dad had after he abandoned him

Someone who is a super good influence on his sisters ( id die for this.. )

Strangers who found out they were hooking up with the same person then became friends or enemies. ( my man a nastie sometimes. )

A FWB someone he can mess with and end up talk a little deeply with bc they think its not serious.

ANYONE who is a kid of one of his mums exes, like someone she dated, bc whew why not.

a rebound, someone he used to try to get over his ex!!

a fucking roomie plssss :) ( or past roomie, he lived off campus for 3 years so defs room for multiples ) this person rlly saw... everything

someone who went on a couple dates/ messed around but then realised omg we’d be so much better off as friends, somoene who rlly has each others back.

ooo someone who has an unrequited crush on him

Or someone he hates but yknow someone who he has mad sexual tension with ( hate meaning they lowkey would ravage each other )

One of his close confidants, someone who is basically one of the few people he can confide in.

An “ex “ who he broke up without much explanation.

His dealer ( smh im the worst )

Some co workers that has his back.

Potentially someone he’s fought against esp someone who does boxing too. es

Someone on his soccer team.

he very into art, so potentially someone who he might connect or do that with, he defs shows stuff sometimes but VVVV rarely.

someone he maybe wasnt that close w/ but he knows from back home so they’d suspect about his home life and he just is not having the prying :)

Honestly any connections im down. THE USUAL, bestfriends, etc etc

Dickkory Week: Day 6

LOL only about 2 days late but got there in the end. 

I based this last day on the live action ‘Titans’ and it was... interesting to write their live counterparts. I don’t think I did an astounding job on this or writing them tbh but... it was a first attempt so I’m happy enough with it.

Hope ya like it and I hope everyone had a fab dickkory week.

p.s - because i just wanted this finally posted, it has not been proofread so soz if it’s a grammatical mess XD

___________________________

Stargazing

They were like tiny beacons in the dark sky; millions of them, all shining brightly and looking down on the world as they remained a celestial spectacle for all. The stars were like a puzzle; pieces scattered throughout the universe with no business being forced together, rather spread apart like the cosmic wonders that they were. 

Kory watched them in the same way she had been for the past hour. It was late and she should probably be in bed, no worries or concerns pulling her in a hundred different directions. But, lately, her mind and body hadn’t exactly been in harmony with one another so here she was; sat on the balcony of the newest hideout they had taken up refuge in. 

She idly wondered just how many safe houses Bruce Wayne actually had dotted throughout the country. They’d traveled across several states and stayed within two; not counting the ones that they had no knowledge of at all.

This one was different from the last one in Chicago. It was bigger, more of a house than some modernized, super apartment and it was a lot more hidden. It was out in the country, hidden by an army of trees and lost down several winding dirt roads, assuring all of them that they were more protected now than they were before.

Things had been… strange since Trigon. 

Dick had been pulled back from the demonic influence that had a tight grip on him when she and Donna had finally found a way through the ethereal dome surrounding Angela’s house. The two of them had burst through the door and Kory hated to admit how much it scared her to see the hollow blackness replacing Dick’s eyes; the way his skin had turned so much paler than his usual tone. He looked sick and unlike himself; trapped in whatever torment Trigon had conjured up in that mind of his. 

The rest of that night was a blur when she tried to think back on it now. 

Rachel had been the one to end things. After Jason showed up with two others she had never met before who she now knew as Hank and Dawn, it was like an explosion went off. 

They all banded together, trying to decrease the power and the hold that Trigon had over their friend and makeshift leader of the little group he had put together. It had little effect, even with Gar morphing into at least 3 other animal types; something he was still trying to figure out how he did since all he really knew was a tiger.

Kory closed her eyes as she sat on the stone railing that ran around the edge of the balcony, a bitter breeze causing goosebumps to appear upon her dark skin. Despite the burning fire at her core, she felt cold and she couldn’t pinpoint why that was.

Thanks to Rachel, they had won against her demonic father. A power had surged up from inside of her, one that not even Kory was aware she had buried away. Purple and black had swirled around the kid, like some kind of magical tornado and Trigon had been powerless to stop her shear strength. 

He’d been pulled in, sucked away from this dimension as easily as he had walked into it through the planes of that mirror Angela had set up in her living room. 

She had fought him the whole time, refusing to let such a monster who would hurt Dick as he had, into their realm without strife. 

It had taken her time, with Angela screaming at her to stop and how helping Trigon was her destiny before ultimately being restrained by Donna’s glowing lasso. 

Trigon had disintegrated before everyone’s eyes until he was trapped in the newly formed red gem that was stuck to Rachel’s forehead on a daily basis now.

Ridding Trigon from their world seemed to undo all of his mistreatment, including releasing Dick from the nightmarish hell that had been plaguing his mind since the minute he ran on ahead into the house. 

He’d been out of sorts for a few days after that, always checking to see what was real and what was simply in his head. 

Slowly, Dick had begun to regain his self assurance and he was falling back into his old self, his personality renewed as it had been before. 

It had been a couple of weeks since that all happened and a few things had changed.

Rachel had started to harness the darkness inside her, rather than running scared from it. She was learning, piece by piece, what she was capable of doing. She’d decided on a bit of a makeover too. She’d changed her hair and her style, ever so slightly and surprised Kory to see that she was no longer the same terrified girl that she had rescued from the nuclear family about 2 months ago. 

They had all sort of become a makeshift team or unit, since Dick hadn’t warmed to using the former term as of yet. It was still the 4 of them, except now they were joined by Donna, Jason, Hank and Dawn. 

Their little ‘family’ had some extended members now and it… took some getting used to.

Kory wasn’t sure what she thought of them. She and Donna had started to get along, better than when they’d first met at least but the other 3 were still a bit of a mystery to her. She didn’t know them and she certainly didn’t trust them yet. After all, she only just about trusted Rachel, Gar and Dick.

Kory had changed herself a little too. Her clothing style had altered and so had her hair, now flowing down her back in loose, wavy curls rather than the afro of tight ones she had been sporting since she stumbled across her little group of misfits. 

Something was heavy in her chest; a weight that had been there for days now and she was growing more and more frustrated by the second, wanting to figure out what the cause was but also not having a single clue how to do that. 

Sighing, Kory lifted her knees to her chest from her position on the balcony railing. She hugged them close, trying to provide comfort to herself. 

It was hard being one’s only confidant and even harder when one couldn’t remember a thing about themselves.

She tilted her chin, eyes going to the stars again; a gesture that brought her much relief and again, she didn’t have an answer why. 

Her emerald eyes were searching, looking for something of importance but failing to find it.

“What’re you doing out here?” 

She jerked at the voice from the doors behind her and she briefly turned her head but ultimately refused to shift more so that he could see her face.

“Uh… I just needed some air. That’s all.” She lied,

There was silence on his end; a sure fire hint to know he was analysing her, doing that detective thing of his and trying to dissect her without words or questions.

“That’s not all.” He paused and his voice grew louder, having stepped closer, “You okay?”

Kory took a deep breath, holding her arms to comfort herself, “I’m fine, Dick. You should go back inside. You need the sleep.”

More silence followed and for a moment, she thought he had truly listened to her and gone back inside, leaving her to dwell on her insecurities in peace.

That was until she felt him pull himself up onto the stone railing, sitting with one leg on either side. He was facing her, staring at the side of her face as he tried willing her to look back at him.

“Can you stop staring at me?” Kory sighed, finally meeting his gaze,

Dick shrugged, “I can… once you tell me you’re okay and you mean it.”

Kory tried to ignore the way heat rose to the back of her neck as she glimpsed at Dick’s bare chest, the muscles in his arms flexing as he lifted his shoulders. 

“Are any of us okay? Really?” She barked out a laugh and shook her head, “I’d say we’ve all been pretty fucked up recently.”

Dick smiled, “That’s an understatement.”

“I promise, I’m as fine as anyone else in this safe house.” Kory told him, her eyes on the hands clasped in her lap,

He fell back into that bout of silence for a long while, just breathing and looking up at the stars occasionally as well.

“You know… I’ve been having nightmares… about what happened with Trigon. But, I guess being possessed by an ancient demon can do that to you.”

Kory glanced at him, her eyes stuck to him like glue. He hadn’t really talked about what had happened to him with Trigon. He had been brief but Dick hadn’t once truly opened up about what went on in his mind whilst Trigon was in the driver’s seat.

He was staring out across the field surrounding their safe house and it reminded her so much of the first time he had unknowingly opened up to her at that crappy motel, or at least; he had started to open up before he realized it and clammed up again.

“It was so real. All of it.” Dick pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth and shook his head, “I had so many memories of that life and yet… I’d only been in it for an hour. There were good points of it… like Rachel and Gar being at college, like normal kids.”

Kory quirked a small smile at that; the idea of those two living a life away from the craziness they’d had to endure so far. 

“But… beyond that, I had this life that… I didn’t actually want. Bruce was… unhinged. I haven’t always agreed with his way of doing things but… he was a cold blooded murderer in that world. Despite everything, he isn’t that.”

She nodded her head a little, her eyes shifting between him and the stone of the railing they were both perched upon.

“And then there was you.”

Her head snapped up to find his intense gaze on her now, a hesitant vibe flowing off of him. She gulped and lowered her chin slightly, as if prompting him to tell her.

“You were… a cop.” Dick snorted, earning a dual smirk from Kory.

“What?” She asked,

He grinned, “I was confused and surprised too.”

“Why a cop?”

Dick shrugged, “I suppose Trigon didn’t have enough memories of you to know exactly where to place you in the dream world… so a partner of sorts was what he settled for.”

Kory felt her heart flutter but tried to ignore the implication that she meant something to him; enough to have a prominent part in the nightmare Trigon had played out for him. She refused to let that thought enter her mind. It was still very early days and the pair of them were still way off having that talk. At least, she felt they were. She couldn’t speak for him. 

But, she still had a lot to figure out by herself before she was going to consider any kind of romance with the man sat in front of her.

“But, you were still you. It’s what made it hard to know what was real and what wasn’t.”

“What’d you mean?” Kory queried, tilting her head ever so slightly,

She saw his adam's apple bob in his throat as he paused, “You were still doing that thing where… you become some kind of voice of reason. There were plenty of moments in this dream life where I had the chance to go back and not fall into Trigon’s trap including you, telling me to go back and forget about saving Batman…” He shrugged, “It… was very like how you are in the real world.”

“Calling you out on your bullshit is trait of mine.” Kory lightly teased,

He raised a brow and smirked, “And the attitude was there as well. Made it extremely difficult to tell the difference.”

“I can imagine.”

“And then… Bruce killed you.”

Kory felt cold suddenly, “He what?”

“Killed you. Shot you with a freeze gun while you were getting ready to light him up but... he got you first.”

“Oh… right…” She replied, not really knowing how she was meant to feel about dying in his fake world,

“After that, I gave in to whatever darkness Trigon was trying to push on me and… I killed him.”

Kory’s brows hit her hairline, “Who?”

“Bruce.”

Her mouth fell open without realizing. She would never have thought that was what turned him into that possessed husk of a man she had stumbled across when she and Donna got over the threshold. 

“Shit…” She mumbled, not knowing what else she could really say to that, “I didn’t realize what he actually did to you…”

Dick hunched his shoulders a little, his fingers laced together with the furrowed brows that were so apparent on his face most of the time; like he constantly looked troubled with the burdens of the world.

He exhaled and refused to meet her gaze, “Yeah well… I haven’t exactly been shouting it from the roof or anything.”

Kory gave him a playful smile, “Good thing too. Don’t want anyone thinking you’re batshit crazy.”

Dick lifted his chin, his cool stare meeting the fiery green of her eyes under the dim moonlight and he chuckled, the tension of his story easing and clearing. Conversation and opening up came fairly easy between the two of them. Despite not knowing one another for a terribly long time, Kory often felt an unspoken trust that had formed between them and she couldn’t understand why.

There was a… connection there and she was still trying to pinpoint what it meant.

“So…” Dick prompted after a few minutes,

Kory rolled her eyes and gave him a look which soon crumbled and she smiled at him in disbelief, “What?”

“What’s going on?”

She ran her tongue across one of the upper canine teeth in her mouth and half laughed, shaking her head. Her knee bounced up and down in rapid succession as she contemplated telling Dick the truth but there was a hesitance in her heart

Kory could sense the way he was looking at her so finally, she sighed and faced the stars.

“It’s nothing, I just… everything with Trigon and what we found out about me at that warehouse… it’s just a lot is all…”

He remained quiet, waiting for her to continue since he assumed she wasn’t quite explaining everything.

She shrugged and chewed on her bottom lip, “I keep wondering… if I’m ever gonna remember everything about myself.”

“Your memories have started coming back in the last couple weeks… that’s a good sign, Kory.”

Frowning, Kory looked at him, “It’s not enough, Dick. I only know pieces about my past and myself… I just…”

“It’s frustrating.” He surmised,

Kory sighed, “More than anyone seems to understand. I came out here to try and prompt some memories of my planet but…” She dropped her chin, eyes on her lap, “Nothing.”

Dick’s brows knitted together in sympathy; he could only imagine how surreal it would be to not remember anything from an entire lifetime. 

“We’ll find the answers, Kory. I promise. We’ll all help you.” 

She took a deep breath and shook her head, “How? I don’t even know where to start so I doubt any of you will have more luck.”

He kept his mouth shut, not wanting to irritate her even more than she already was.

“Sorry… I just… I’m tired of not knowing anything.” Kory murmured, playing with the gold ring around her finger,

Dick nodded, “We’ll figure it out.”

Kory didn’t share the same level of hope Dick seemed to. She felt like she was at a dead end and that her answers wouldn’t be found by spending more time on Earth.

“Dick… I think… at some point, Earth won’t give me any more answers. I think I might have to figure out the way that ship works and go back. I think I’ll need to go home to Tamaran.”

He felt a cold, sinking stone in his stomach. He’d been afraid she would say that. It made sense, of course, but he didn’t think he was quite ready to say goodbye to her just yet. Having her around felt right; the four of them had been together since this all began with Rachel finding him first. 

Sure, they had more people around them now but still… he needed Kory with him and so did Rachel and Gar.

“Yeah… I thought you might say that.”

She gently nudged his knee with her own and he looked up to see her smiling at him slightly, “But… that won’t be for a while. Like you said… memories are coming back… just slowly. Might as well stick around for now.” She paused and her lips curved into a smirk, “Sides… you’re all growing on me. Can’t go just yet.”

Dick smiled at her, the ache of his heart ebbing ever so slightly.

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: you done 🐕🏃? Janis: yeah, just about Janis: what you up to? Jimmy: how long for? Jimmy: ages? Janis: I'm walking my last lot now so Janis: where's the 🔥 dickhead Jimmy: at the 🏖 Jimmy: you wanna come or what? Janis: oh, alright for some Janis: finally put your 😎 to some real use Jimmy: will do in a bit Jimmy: if we EVER leave 🏠 Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: can't find your best 👙? Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I'm waiting for you, obvs Jimmy: get a move on ☀️ girl Janis: alright, why not Jimmy: not gonna 🏃 my own 🐕 am I? Jimmy: earn your 💰 Jessica Janis: 🖕 Janis: she might be my fave customer but you're my least fave owner so Janis: drags her well ⬇ Jimmy: 😏 Janis: poor pup Jimmy: she won't be 💔 now you're going Janis: goes without saying Janis: have to deal with how #gutted you are Jimmy: sit next to my 🤬 sister then, can't I? Jimmy: 🥇 company Janis: what's making her 🤬 today Janis: besides you Jimmy: needs nowt else Jimmy: I'd be 😒 if I didn't have a top mate to bring Janis: fair Janis: been on enough outings with my siblings shit mates in tow Janis: least you can tell her I won't be all over you or anything this time Jimmy: did do, only reason she agreed, DUH Jimmy: nowt to do with how bored she is Janis: welcome to the real 🌍 init Jimmy: You'd reckon I invited Ian and Sharon how she's going on Jimmy: try and do a 🏆 big brother of the year thing Jimmy: just chuck myself in front of the train instead Janis: top starving artist thing though Janis: can't be appreciated in your own lifetime Jimmy: be about right, that Jimmy: and I get that I'm not really making this #goals so if you don't wanna it's alright Jimmy: as sales pitches go Janis: we're all bored, like Janis: but yeah, get your dad to give you some pointers when he's having his #mantoman Jimmy: bit late, I've had that Janis: oh, yeah? Jimmy: any chance to be a bellend, he don't hang about Jimmy: got in there soon as you pissed off Janis: wow, showing Shaz a well good time then Janis: 🙄 Janis: look forward to when she tells me all about that #justbetweenusgirls Jimmy: she weren't there long after you, mission accomplished ✔ Jimmy: you might be going dress shopping with the next one, soz like Janis: 👍 Janis: as long as she's a bleach blonde, not fussy Jimmy: neither's he, you're alright Janis: #fated? Jimmy: gonna get the bleach out, are you? Jimmy: don't reckon the ☀'ll do enough for you Janis: rude, just 'cos I'm getting a new best mate Janis: don't be jealous Jimmy: just looking forward to you having a tan that ain't out of a bottle tbh Janis: not that twin Janis: your 💌 got lost Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: emojis is her preferred method of communication Jimmy: I'll leave her a youtube comment, make yourself scarce, tah Janis: I'm going 🏖 Janis: fill your boots Jimmy: bit of a weird coincidence, that Janis: yeah, if you invite her, I'll be 🤬 as well Jimmy: What would I invite her for? Jimmy: don't need a babysitter Janis: hmm Jimmy: alright, dickhead Jimmy: do you wanna be uninvited? Janis: don't be a 👶 and prove my point, boy Janis: I'll 🤐 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: lasses mature faster, that ain't my fault, only an actual proven point Janis: we'll leave out you ain't hit puberty if it's all the same to you Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: oh THAT'S why my skin's so clear Jimmy: no need to drop my #nighttimeroutine now Janis: such a twat Jimmy: yeah and? Janis: 🤐 yourself Jimmy: but I LOVE a bit of feedback, me Jimmy: ask Bill's 👻 Janis: you NEVER take his notes, liar Jimmy: bollocks do I not Jimmy: always 👂 to him Janis: why you so crap at fake dating then? 🤔 Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'm 🥇 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: you'd said it before now Jimmy: if any dickhead's lying, it's you Janis: I said it 'cos I'm 🥇 Janis: 😉 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't be grumpy Janis: if you were shit, we wouldn't still be doing it Jimmy: you started it Jimmy: marding at me 'cause my balls ain't dropped Janis: stop it Janis: lesbian would be a preferable rep Jimmy: til you've got 💀👑 after you Janis: you want me to say it's better than 12 year olds? Janis: 'cos obviously but fuck off Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 😒 Jimmy: you wanna leave it out now? Janis: oh, I get it Jimmy: ? Janis: trying your #daddy bit again Jimmy: you wish, girl Janis: *👶girl Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: how rude Jimmy: I'm not fake calling you that, don't care if it's bad manners Janis: 🤷 Janis: if you don't wanna make 💀👑 💚🤢 Jimmy: I can do without that bollocks Janis: go 🥇 or go home Janis: could do without all of it really Jimmy: I am 🏠 hurry up, like Janis: I'm on my way, keep your 😎 on Jimmy: keep your 🧢 on, Joanne Jimmy: oh no hang on, you're fucked it's ⛅ Janis: nah, you're alright Janis: straightened it Jimmy: sounds fake Jimmy: if you're gonna bother lying 🥉 at least Janis: words have an impact Janis: think before you bully Jimmy: 📷 do an' all Jimmy: show us Janis: keen Jimmy: to show you up as talking bollocks Jimmy: always Janis: for me to show up Janis: definitely Jimmy: that'd do an' all Janis: sweet Janis: one more drop off Jimmy: the 🍬🍬 are for the journey but alright you can have one before if you don't say owt to the others Janis: you know me Janis: 🤐 always Jimmy: which 🐕 is it? Janis: not your rival Janis: the fat pug thing Jimmy: were gonna say bring it instead of ours but nah Janis: poor thing breathes worse than you 🚬 Jimmy: every lass would be shitting themselves that there's a perv on the train Janis: another one, anyway Jimmy: Oi, it's just my ☠ lungs Jimmy: stop making me breathless and we'll be alright Janis: unless you truly have invited the gals on a road trip, you won't have to fake that Jimmy: 🥇💡 Jimmy: too late or? Janis: you joking? they need 3-5 business days to get ready for school and we have a fucking uniform Jimmy: 🤡 me Jimmy: you know that Janis: yeah Janis: we could do something like that though, might be useful Jimmy: should probably ask 'em what they're doing a bit an' all Janis: you can do that Jimmy: tah very much Janis: you're better at it Jimmy: dunno if that's a compliment or an insult but alright Janis: take it as a compliment so you take on all the work Janis: I just Janis: I hate them more than you do Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I know Janis: take the 🥇 and 😇 Jimmy: not til I say we don't have to go to whatever bollocks party they're 🗨 about at a guess Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: I can fake something here 🏠 whenever Jimmy: and you're still 🥇 Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: but we're trying to make shit easier, that's the whole plan, and all I'm saying Janis: and trying to fuck their shit up, all I'm saying Jimmy: okay Janis: if I didn't wanna do it no more, I'd tell you Jimmy: Good Janis: yeah Jimmy: I'll leave it out now Janis: it's whatever Janis: I'm on my way to yours now, sorry took so long Jimmy: 👍 Janis: more meant to the kids than you tbh Jimmy: I'll tell 'em how 💔 you are that they got to watch telly for a bit longer then Janis: well, nothing worse than hanging about whilst the adults piss about doing fuck knows Jimmy: I've been doing fuck loads, first off Jimmy: second of all, Cass is outvoted on wanting you to piss off in the other direction so Janis: I bet Janis: having a ☕ putting the 🧺 out taking some well important well long 📞s Jimmy: 45 not 85 tah very much Jimmy: you'll have me 🌱 next Janis: selfish of you not to 🌧 Jimmy: don't reckon 👦 and 🐕 who are both ✔🏖 would see it like that Jimmy: probably call it a dickhead move 💔🎻 Janis: that's a self-explanatory sign, I remember Jimmy: when you get here he wants to 🗨 about sandcastles Jimmy: you* Jimmy: I'll just say you're 🏆🥇👑 nowt to worry about Janis: well I actually am so don't you be chatting shit about me Janis: I'll know Jimmy: 🙈 🙉 🙊 Janis: he's my little mate Janis: dob you well in Jimmy: he would Janis: bless Janis: better be nice to me then Jimmy: I said about 🍬🍬 what else do you want? Janis: it's a start Janis: can see as we go Jimmy: still high maintenance as a mate then Janis: you want one who'll be friends with any dickhead, do you Jimmy: can't even fake that being a yeah to wind you up Janis: feel 🍀 Jimmy: you should Janis: HA Jimmy: steady on, you'll hurt yourself Janis: I'm outside whenever you're ready Jimmy: [comes out and over to her to touch the curls like oh hey you're still there then] Janis: [😏 and bats his hand away like obviously I did not] Jimmy: [Twix running out like HEY GAL v excited] Janis: [give her some love 'we going on the bus or train or what?'] Jimmy: [just shouting your sister like if they don't hurry up we're not going anywhere vibes because doing his head in already lol] Janis: [just doing the 😬 face] Jimmy: [makes you 😏 in spite of everything] Janis: [gestures to her mouth like, you did promise me sweets though] Jimmy: [obvs chucks them at her] Janis: [taking two and putting her finger to her lips] Jimmy: [the kids appearing as soon as she's eaten them so the secret is safe] Janis: [chat to Bobby about these sandcastles] Jimmy: [he wants to know if you've got skills gal] Janis: [just like 'course I do, let's make a better one than him lol] Jimmy: [competition is definitely happening, we must] Janis: [fosho] Jimmy: [I wonder how long this train ride is, I hope it's not awkwardly long lol] Janis: [there's beaches near enough it shouldn't be crazy] Jimmy: [at least you've got the dog and kids to distract you lads] Janis: [just being so sociable rn] Jimmy: [we know it's because there's a vibe between you too but I'm still here for this family unite so go ahead and #bond babe] Janis: [you'd try anyway 'cos not a prick but this is helping can't lie so pop off] Jimmy: [always nice to see another side of him too so I'm about it, we should probably let Bobby win this sandcastle contest soz Cass] Janis: [you can slay all the arcade games don't be too fuming] Jimmy: [don't kick his sandcastle down he will be devvo] Janis: [ahh the drama, so arcades, ice cream, candyfloss, the little rides they have at the beach, sandcastles, chips, anything else?] Jimmy: [getting chased by seagulls and Twix chasing them, having to get her when she legs it into the sea and it being freezing lol] Janis: [should be near the end so they then have to wait to dry off, anyway, all of this has the potential to be awks, like anything they inadvertently end up doing as a pair] Jimmy: [when you're so in love and in a rom com that you can't stop having romantic moments] Janis: [not like you can just ignore each other the whole day, would be weird] Jimmy: [soz again Cass you still gonna be 🙄 even though they're not smooching] Janis: [ugh, so cringe] Jimmy: [Jimothy 100000% has to get her a shit thing from the arcade with his tokens because she gave him that bed screw after school trip so it's his turn for a memento] Janis: [a must] Jimmy: [you two are cute nerds] Janis: [when you've not had close friends or a boyfriend so all of this is so confusing like is this how it's meant to be or what] Jimmy: [and she doesn't even have anyone she can talk to about it, soz for doing this to you babe] Janis: [can't really put the feelers out like hey] Jimmy: [especially not with him because he'd be like obvs this is fine, because you're not gonna be like no actually I'm in love with you so] Janis: [we're not doing that again] Jimmy: [at least you'll have an excuse to snuggle after being in the freezing sea] Janis: [true] Jimmy: [Twix shaking all over Bobby who is the only one who didn't get in the sea like thanks for that babe we're all wet and cold now] Janis: [oh Twix] Jimmy: [she's living her best life, oblivious to all this JJ drama] Janis: [I like to think there's a stop that's a few before theirs that is closer to the farm so just hopping off there like you ever go home] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: yeah, it was fun, cheers Jimmy: didn't make me wanna 💀💀💀 Jimmy: must've been Janis: practically a 5🌟 review Jimmy: I won't tweet it out but Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 for it Janis: you already gave it to me Jimmy: have another one then Jimmy: for the road or whatever Janis: do you have enough 🎫s Jimmy: they're all asleep, I can be nice to you now Janis: yeah? Janis: you've been pretty nice Jimmy: [a picture of them all snoozing on this train like see] Jimmy: you don't reckon I can be any nicer? bit rude Janis: Bless Janis: 🤞 they bring that chill home but won't hold my breath for you Janis: I'm sure you can Janis: whether you will is a different question Jimmy: don't matter, I can chuck 'em at Ian in a bit Jimmy: Oi, why wouldn't I? Janis: you're pretty busy Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend or real mate? Janis: 🥇brother Jimmy: I ain't got a mug, can't be Janis: should've looked Janis: must've been one with all the kiss me quick shit Jimmy: I'll get our kid set up 🎨 keep him busy crafting so I'm not too busy for you Janis: can use all the 🐚s he got Jimmy: don't fancy drinking a brew out of a 🐚 but I'll have him crack on with one for you 🧜 Janis: you should ™ it now, we're only a trend or two away Jimmy: might be a way to get 💀👑 and her mates on side, tah Janis: they'll be all about the salt water, DUH Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: think even your sister had a good time though Janis: between the 😒🙄 Jimmy: she's probably moved from 🤬 to 😠 scale wise Janis: take it as a win Jimmy: you can do Janis: 🏆 you said Jimmy: don't worry I'm not taking it back Jimmy: you earned it Janis: you can try Janis: already on my shelf with all my others Janis: not find it now Jimmy: too 💪 for me to have a go an' all, you Janis: 🤔 Janis: now you're being too nice and it's weird Jimmy: Hang on, I'll wake my sister and slag you off for a bit Janis: 👍 Janis: can give me the notes when you're done Jimmy: you know I can't write Jimmy: no need for you to be mean Janis: voice notes exist Jimmy: you can just say you miss me, mate Jimmy: it's alright Janis: how could I Janis: literally just left Jimmy: your accent kink were unlocked ages ago Janis: if I had one, I'd have better taste 😏 Jimmy: the whole north is 💔😭🎻 girl Jimmy: 🤞 you're proud of yourself Janis: you show me your fit long lost cousins, I'll take it back Jimmy: if I find 'em I'll be too busy arranging a lift home to chuck 'em at you Janis: rude but fair Jimmy: crack on after if you fancy Janis: don't really need your permission Jimmy: you put your sister off limits, I can do the same Janis: immediate family only Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that only gives me Ian Janis: and he's well 😍 Janis: appreciate my struggle Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you've got some fit sisters AND a gay brother Janis: you piss off Janis: no I don't Jimmy: none of 'em? 💔 Jimmy: your fit mum'll have to do then Janis: shut up Jimmy: @ her I'll be over for my tea in a bit and I don't eat nowt like 🥦🌽🥕 Janis: you're the least funny person I've ever met Jimmy: 🤡💔😭 Janis: 🖕🔥💀 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: alright, ALL my attention's back on you Janis: why would I want that Jimmy: you don't have to want it to get it, Jill Janis: 🙄 you telling me things I know now Jimmy: head that big we'd never 🗨 if I didn't Janis: and what a tragedy that would be 👻🖋 Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: I'll go to sleep an' all then 🤞 we'll miss our stop and end up somewhere more #goals Jimmy: 👋🏠 Janis: unlikely Janis: don't go 🌙 Jimmy: worth a 🎯 Janis: that was what I reckoned but weren't buzzing for me so Jimmy: make Ian 😤 when he has to come fetch us if nowt else Janis: worth it Jimmy: 👍 night Janis: whatever idiot Jimmy: parting IS such sweet sorrow with you 💕 Jimmy: so lovely to me Janis: you want gutted I can offer a tweet or an insta post Jimmy: stick with 🖕🔥💀 it's more real Janis: that it is, mate Jimmy: no need to take over telling me shit I know Janis: 👍 Janis: sweet dreams then Jimmy: tah Janis: hmu when you wanna do something fake Jimmy: lasses first Jimmy: loads of options in the group 🗨 Janis: well I got some 📸 today I can make look goals Jimmy: #same Jimmy: can fake you're here as long as 💀👑 ain't at yours when you get back Jimmy: might make it a bit harder if she 👀 you Janis: unless she's that 😍 she sees me everywhere Jimmy: 🤢🤢 Jimmy: be about right, that Janis: don't chat like I'm not a top mirage Jimmy: weren't me saying nowt Janis: hmm Jimmy: I rate you, I've said Jimmy: don't rate her 😍💕🔪 with you Janis: Bill probably does Jimmy: @ him for his review Janis: might be the storyline he goes with Janis: if one of us pretends to be a lad for a bit or whatever Jimmy: does LOVE a bit of that but you'd still end up with a lad by the end though Jimmy: if you're not 💀💀💀 Janis: obviously 💀💀💀 Jimmy: go on and make me feel less special, dickhead Janis: never promised you're the only one that dies Jimmy: you can't be my Juliet and some other lass Jimmy: for or with 💀👑 Janis: stick to the script, yeah Jimmy: 🖋🩸 not ✏️ Janis: where's your chainmail look then Jimmy: Oi, least shout me a drink first Janis: I'm with the astronaut not fannying about getting you drinks Jimmy: bit rude Janis: talk about rude Janis: you're gatecrashing Jimmy: I'll piss off then Jimmy: know where I ain't 💕 Janis: have you not seen the 1996 classic or what Janis: main plot point there Jimmy: Leo's dead distracting, who can follow owt going on with the plot Janis: it's my parent's party, you, your cousin and your mates gatecrash 'cos you're off your tits Janis: astronaut is my fiance and you're well in love with this other girl, 'til we 👀 through a massive fish tank Jimmy: Oh Bill, he don't know you're the pisshead, well awkward Jimmy: I remember that bit 🐠 🐟 Jimmy: must be the fish kink you said I had Janis: see Janis: 💫 Jimmy: Who's the dickhead you're marrying? Janis: Paul Rudd Janis: well in, tbh Jimmy: does the lass I dump for you even get a face? Janis: nah Janis: you're that dickhead Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: be like my ex who you've only got my word for existing Janis: she is my cousin and all, why you're at the party Janis: which is a bit rude to bin her off there and then but Janis: 🐠 🐟 kink Jimmy: I told you it shouldn't only be immediate family off limits, Jules Jimmy: you weren't having none of it Janis: don't matter Janis: you don't even speak to her before reckoning you're well 😍 Jimmy: finally sounds like me Jimmy: nice one Bill Janis: 'course Janis: he is well mopey Jimmy: DUH, not just him 'cause I'm the lad Jimmy: if the 😭 fits Janis: try out for Hamlet next, boy Jimmy: don't reckon that's the school play on offer Jimmy: but I'll have a word Janis: please do Janis: Shane who's had every lead since we were 👶 would piss himself Jimmy: only if you're at the front to 👏 and chuck 🌹 at us Jimmy: very shy, me Janis: like fuck are you Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: you're practically an exhibitionist Jimmy: Dunno what you've 👂 or 👀 Jimmy: but that sounds well fake Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👌👌 Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Janis: not like I've ended up nearly naked at a party 'cos of you or nothing Jimmy: that weren't deliberate Janis: nah? Jimmy: it means nowt but I'm heavy handed and that dress weren't worth the 💰 Janis: nicked it anyway Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: and you never flashed nobody 'cause I gave you my jacket Jimmy: what kind of exhibitionist would do that? Janis: joke 🤡 Jimmy: Oi don't be calling me a joke Janis: would be a compliment, if I were Jimmy: how would it? Janis: clowns are meant to be funny Jimmy: funny weren't what you said Janis: what's a joke if not funny Jimmy: you're taking the piss, not giving me a compliment Jimmy: might be thick but I can work out the difference Janis: so you know I was saying I was joking and you're being picky about nothing right now Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: 👍 Janis: you're the one being a dick but alright Jimmy: nah you're the one winding me up about something I already feel 😳 about Janis: why Janis: not like I actually care or cared Jimmy: shut up about it then Janis: fine, jesus christ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't be about it alright Jimmy: what? Janis: 😳 Janis: no need Jimmy: you said you were gonna stop going on about it Janis: I'm just saying Jimmy: no need Janis: okay Jimmy: 👌 Janis: they're not here by the way Janis: so pretend I'm there Jimmy: Alright Janis: cool Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: not going nowhere far so it don't count as covering Jimmy: weren't asking Jimmy: it's a piss easy job when it don't drag on Janis: ? Jimmy: faking that we're 🏠💕 Janis: alright, thrilled for you then Jimmy: save the enthusiasm for when we've got 👀🍿 Janis: I get it Jimmy: nowt to get, I don't need 👏🏆🌹 for this Janis: you want me to piss off Jimmy: sounds like you've got somewhere to be Janis: so we can't 💬 Jimmy: do you want to? Jimmy: 'cause it didn't sound like it Janis: that was you Jimmy: you started it Janis: no I never Jimmy: yeah you did Jimmy: 1. jumping off the train without even a 😘 2. getting engaged to Paul Rudd 3. being a dickhead to me Janis: 1. I said bye 2. if you were paying attention you'd know we was already 👰🤵 before I could be forced to marry him 3. you're a bigger dickhead to me Jimmy: very convenient all that Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: What are you doing other than 🙄 at me for nowt? Janis: going for a run Jimmy: so how do you reckon we're gonna 🗨? Jimmy: you gonna send me breathless voice memos or what? Janis: I don't get out of breath 'cos I'm not 🚬🍔🍻 Jimmy: *🥧🥔 first off Jimmy: second, not 🏃 hard or far enough then, are you? Janis: its called pacing Jimmy: next you're gonna try and lie to me that you don't sweat like that pervy prince Jimmy: it's called bollocks Janis: fine then, no one is about to force you Jimmy: What, to believe you? Weren't likely, my dear Janis: talk, prick Jimmy: I don't need to be forced, I only asked how you were gonna manage it whilst being SUCH an athlete Janis: talk to text, as if it matters Jimmy: was that so hard? Janis: why did you need tk know, just to be awkward Jimmy: it were an easy enough question Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: go on Jimmy: what have I done now? Jimmy: too nice a bit ago, too much of a dickhead after Janis: forget it Jimmy: Why, 'cause you don't wanna talk to me and you're just putting it on me like I don't or? Janis: if I didn't want to talk to you, I wouldn't be Jimmy: What then? Janis: it's just Janis: weird Jimmy: it's always been weird Jimmy: you're my fake girlfriend Janis: too weird maybe Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: that I duon't reckon this is gonna work Janis: don't* Jimmy: which bit? Janis: being mates Jimmy: So what, you just wanna treat this like another job? Janis: yeah, I guess Janis: be easier Janis: and that's the point Jimmy: except I'm not a 🐕 that needs a piss but alright Janis: I'm not saying you are Jimmy: you're just saying that's what you wanna treat me like Jimmy: job done Janis: no, we don't have to be cunts to each other Janis: but I don't do friends, where are the rest of mine, like Janis: can't hack it Jimmy: you could've said before you spent the day becoming mates with my little brother Janis: I was trying Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: I'll sign that to him then, tah Janis: I didn't think it'd be this hard Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: it's you, I can't be around you Jimmy: so call it off Jimmy: but you reckon you're alright to be around me at some bollocks or owt else where you need a fake boyfriend Jimmy: party* Janis: if you don't want to do it no more then fine Jimmy: it's you who can't hack me Jimmy: I had a lovely time Janis: you know why Jimmy: I said no to fucking you once, there's why Janis: yeah, I already feel like a piece of shit for it, you don't need to do that for me Jimmy: how do you think I feel? that's all you want me for Janis: I don't do friends it ain't tat you wouldn't be a decent one Janis: that* Jimmy: right and as long as I can fake being a decent boyfriend, what does it matter? Jimmy: tah for the heads up Janis: obviously we're not going to do that no more Janis: I didn't want to just Janis: I don't know Jimmy: obviously I don't get a fucking say Jimmy: why would I 'cause you don't care what I want Janis: Yes I do Janis: that's why I did this, 'cos otherwise I was just lying to you Jimmy: bit late to chime in with that bollocks when you've already pissed all over everything Jimmy: but alright Janis: what else can I do Jimmy: nowt clearly 'cause you tried really hard for a day Janis: you shouldn't have to try to be someone's mate, would you, that's the whole point Jimmy: you shouldn't have said you were up for it if you weren't Janis: nah Jimmy: 📞 that dickhead, bet he'll have another go at ending this for us Janis: don't, alright Jimmy: soz, you've probably 💭🥇💡 while I were pissing about on the 🏖 Jimmy: go on Janis: No, I haven't Janis: I had a good time too, it's not about that Jimmy: let me know when you have then Jimmy: so I know what I'm going along with Janis: it doesn't matter, I don't care Jimmy: you're not gonna pull your weight with this either Jimmy: tah very much Janis: literally the furthest thing from my mind right now Janis: so sorry Jimmy: yeah, you gave out the apologies a bit ago, no need to tack that one on Janis: so what, I'm meant to keep hanging out with you all the time, and pretend I don't want to kiss you, that's normal, is it? Jimmy: how about I gave you 3 days and you can't even give me one Janis: what? Jimmy: I told you why I only wanted to be mates, that I didn't wanna fuck this up, and you're just cracking on with that anyway Janis: and it's me that only wants a fake boyfriend? Jimmy: yeah, THAT'S what I meant by any of that Janis: how would I know? all I know is I can't fake be all over you one second then barely talk to you the next Jimmy: I weren't asking you for that, I never have done Janis: that's exactly what we do Jimmy: bollocks is it Jimmy: I talk to you Janis: would you rather I lie about it Jimmy: if it means I don't get left with fuck all, I might do Janis: I get fuck all too Jimmy: that don't make me feel better, funnily enough Janis: there ain't nothing I can do that will Jimmy: you could not do this Janis: if that were true, I wouldn't have Jimmy: there's nowt else to say then Janis: alright Jimmy: just go Janis: I have Jimmy: stop talking to me, dickhead Janis: [shall I post? or are we skipping to whatever is next?] Janis: [how should we start whatever is next, for that matter?] Jimmy: [I was thinking maybe he could be drunk and feelsy because we've done her already but I don't know how to just kick that off like] Janis: [I had a similar thought that regardless it needs to come from him 'cos she's put it out there low-key twice now and has got ultimately a no response each time so, could go the route of it being a party and thus like, come fake, even if it's a no obvs 'cos can carry on the convo or you could commit to just starting the convo from the off] Jimmy: [when I was in your archive looking for beach stuff which I rudely never found I did find a convo where it was like he'd been locked out because there's a shortage of keys in that house always and forever thanks Cass and she ultimately helped him break in so I'm wondering if I can do something with that hmmm] Jimmy: [it was a whole #mood is why I'm considering it lol] Janis: [I vibe with that] Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: where's your 🔑 Jimmy: ???????? Janis: on my dog-walking keys with the rest of them Janis: why? Jimmy: 🏃🏠✔ Janis: no, didn't get that Jimmy: UGH Jimmy: just run here Janis: I've not got them on me, not walking dogs at this o'clock Janis: you lost yours? Jimmy: bring me a jacket then Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: is everyone at yours asleep? Jimmy: except Ian but it were him who chucked me out Jimmy: bit rude but Janis: alright, I'll come but I'm a bit away so you'll have to keep warm Janis: why'd he throw you out then? Jimmy: how? you don't do mates and I don't do 🏃 Jimmy: that's not why he chucked me out, don't care about my fitness Janis: not even on the spot? Janis: what about that 🍾you been drinking? not enough left to do the trick or what Jimmy: 🥂 very civilised Jimmy: I get it, you've forgotten who I am Jimmy: and you want me to chase my tail Jimmy: 🐕💔 Janis: dinner party, was it? Jimmy: you need mates for that, girl Jimmy: should've done 🐕💕 you'd like me more if I were Janis: I like you just fine Janis: and who needs mates, just steal your other glass 🥂 Jimmy: I'd have let you have it Janis: you're very generous, I've always said that Jimmy: I remember Jimmy: love a compliment, me, I remember them all Janis: 🧠 flex Jimmy: and you can't even tweet it Jimmy: 🎻😭😭 Janis: that is a tragedy, truly Janis: could do it for old times sake but Jimmy: there's loads of other things I'd rather do for old times sake before that Janis: 😱 tweeting weren't your fave Jimmy: I don't have a 🖋 can't do you a list Janis: s'alright, won't keep you warm and that's priority Jimmy: you'll keep me warm Jimmy: you'll be well warm when you've 🏃 here Janis: I'll get you in your gaff, yeah Jimmy: I don't want to be there Janis: no? Jimmy: DUH I should've kicked the door in like we did to Lucas', I didn't wanna scare him but he can't hear it, can he? Jimmy: turn back around, it's alright Janis: I reckon your house doors are a bit sturdier, don't do that, alright Jimmy: Cass won't be 🤬 she loves kicking a door in Jimmy: unless she thinks it's my mum coming back Janis: and your dad will be regardless Janis: it's not a good idea Jimmy: be a 🥇 entrance if it were here though Jimmy: her* Janis: pretty impressive Janis: have to at this point, right? Jimmy: 🍾 be out then Janis: yeah Jimmy: what are you doing? Janis: coming to get you, obviously Jimmy: but before Janis: with all my mates? Janis: nothing, really, just Janis: about Jimmy: 🧛 business Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: 🦇🩸 Janis: exactly Janis: if I told you I'd have to eat you Jimmy: just don't be biting anyone else Jimmy: I don't care what you do to me Janis: I haven't Janis: that kind of night, I get that, too Jimmy: on any night, don't Janis: it's very unlikely Janis: even though it's a bit mean you want me to starve Jimmy: I said you can have me Janis: you'd get me pissed right now Jimmy: wouldn't even cost you nowt Jimmy: 🥇 date, me Janis: cheap, too 😏 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: no 🎫 needed either Janis: quite the offer Jimmy: weren't enough for my ex Jimmy: I @ed her but she don't wanna talk to me Jimmy: there's a mate you could have Janis: reckon that's her loss Janis: but I'm alright for her Jimmy: #savage Janis: don't think she's dying to talk to me either, it's alright Jimmy: might be now I fucked this up an' all Janis: what do you mean? Jimmy: you can swap stories of how crap I am Janis: she fucked around on you, you've told me before, can't be your fault Jimmy: DUH 'cause I was crap Janis: you aren't crap Janis: this were my fault, remember Jimmy: no, it weren't Janis: of course it was Jimmy: of course it weren't Jimmy: you said why you pissed off, it were nowt to do with me, what were I gonna do, hold it against you forever Janis: you told me why you can't have that and it's probably a lot more valid than why I stropped off Jimmy: people leave me Jimmy: or wanna Jimmy: 🎻🎻 etc Janis: it's really fucked, about your mum, you don't need to act like it ain't Janis: I get why you reacted how you did Jimmy: you came back Jimmy: I didn't have to be a prick about it Janis: when I came back Janis: I made loads more mistakes too Jimmy: I didn't even ask if you were alright Jimmy: I haven't now either Janis: 'cos you know Janis: like I know Janis: we're clearly not alright, as people, are we Jimmy: owt could've happened to you and I just had a go, without waiting a sec or leaving it out for one Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: and I'm sorry I set you up to piss off again by reckoning you would Janis: it's alright Janis: nothing happened to me Janis: well, I'll tell you what it actually was, but I don't know if it'll sound like much now Janis: my dad, as Mia pointed out ages ago, died a few months back Janis: but before that he was a piece of shit and had loads of kids and fuck all to do with any of us for a proper amount of time Janis: and his mum likes to act like he was some saint, and one of his exes is clearly in the same boat and for some reason they've got it into their head we all need to get together as if he gave a shit about family when he was here or is gonna now Janis: that day they just showed up, when my mum weren't about, and wouldn't fuck off or shut up or get out my face so I just Janis: I can't even remember but my nan was on the floor like I'd stabbed her so I just had to go, no time to think or prepare anything Jimmy: 🍻 to shit dads Jimmy: I meant what I said, you can always stay here Jimmy: I'm still your mate even though you're not mine Janis: drink to that Janis: I meant what I said, or tried to say Janis: I wanna be your mate but I dunno how to be one or have one Jimmy: I know, and I'm not an expert myself, like Jimmy: it's different with lads and she were my mate, alright, but we weren't good mates to each other so Janis: you did a better job than me at any rate Janis: you were probably different before, yeah Janis: I was Jimmy: 🌧😒 still Jimmy: it were shit before an' all, just a different sort Janis: that's not gonna stop me wanting to be your friend, bit hypocritical Jimmy: just want you to know Jimmy: not sainting my mum, she were as bad as Ian when she were about Jimmy: alright, he's got worse since but Jimmy: 🌧🌧🌧 Janis: different shit, I hear you Jimmy: I didn't wanna get in over my head when you could just walk off again Jimmy: such bollocks Janis: understandable Jimmy: there's nowt I can do about how I feel Jimmy: or you Janis: no, there ain't Janis: but makes sense why you'd try Janis: half the reason I say no mates Jimmy: what's the other half, you just like being fit and mysterious? Janis: no, the, not knowing how to do it and not liking to be shit at things thing I mentioned Jimmy: you're not shit Jimmy: you said you were sorry you like me, but I'm sorry now you don't no more Jimmy: and I'm not sorry I like you Janis: It hasn't just turned itself off Janis: but it'd be unfair to have this conversation when you're wasted, wouldn't it Jimmy: depends Janis: go on Jimmy: 1. what I can remember when I ain't 2. if you're gonna make me 😭 Janis: exactly, can't and won't be holding you to anything you say tonight Janis: and don't wanna make you cry either, as a rule Jimmy: but Janis Janis: you never say my name Jimmy: there's loads I don't say Janis: I can tell that much Janis: you don't have to tell me anything Jimmy: can I? If I want? Janis: yeah Janis: of course Jimmy: okay Jimmy: I'm scared Janis: what of? Jimmy: not seeing you after this Janis: after this conversation, or like Janis: when you go Jimmy: both Janis: well, you'll see me after this conversation, I can promise that Jimmy: but not like before Janis: that can be a good or a bad thing Jimmy: yeah Janis: if you do remember, and you feel the same about any of it, then we can talk about that then, work it out Jimmy: what if I don't remember? Janis: you'll read this back, I'm sure Janis: whatever you said to your ex too Jimmy: have you forgotten I'm a MASSIVE dickhead Janis: met worse Janis: sorry 💔 Jimmy: you said you don't wanna make me 😭 Janis: 🤐 Janis: you're the worst person I've ever met Janis: better? Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: 😏 Jimmy: do we have to go in? 🔑🏠 Janis: you should probably go in somewhere, to warm up Janis: but there's other places we can Jimmy: @ your nan who isn't evil Jimmy: tell her to put the kettle on Janis: maybe Janis: we'll see how quiet you're capable of being first Jimmy: what are you gonna be doing to me? Janis: oi, not like that Janis: more like she probably don't wanna have a chat with you but the spare room is basically mine so if you can 🤫 a tea ain't out the question Jimmy: what time is it? Janis: pretty late Janis: she ain't evil but she is 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Janis: you might 😭 Jimmy: like you Jimmy: cute Jimmy: is your mum on the scale an' all? Janis: not cute Janis: not really Janis: she's a bit of a hippie throwback but not all ✌&💕 Jimmy: that'll be why you live in the middle of nowt, I get it 🌳🌼🌻🌱 Janis: a longer story than that Janis: but cut short, my dad was such a dick, his granddad would rather live with and leave my ma a farmhouse than him, and that's what happened Jimmy: wish I could chuck Ian out for being a knobhead Janis: when you got enough to pay the bills Jimmy: gonna start chucking stones at your nan's window of a night Jimmy: have that spare room out from under you, girl Janis: 😂 Janis: I mean, really harsh to take my role and my balcony from me like that but I get it Jimmy: your granddad still about or what? Janis: yeah, unlucky Janis: if she don't fuck you up he will Jimmy: 💔 but not for her probably, just me Janis: Poor boy Jimmy: used to it, been dumped more times than I've had girlfriends Janis: explains why you're used to the #drama Jimmy: 🖋👻🎭 Janis: she can be rosaline then Jimmy: Bill would have one of his characters end up a child bride to their dad's best mate Janis: seriously, do need to ring someone about that Janis: remind me Jimmy: it's grim up north, babe Janis: so you keep telling me Jimmy: I get it, you wanna see for yourself Jimmy: I'll pack you in my bag Janis: 👍 Janis: why not Jimmy: 💕 Janis: how are you, are you still cold? Janis: I'm basically there now Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Janis: okay, I'll 🏃 this bit fast, hold on Jimmy: you're so Janis: shh Jimmy: you said I could tell you Jimmy: owt I want Janis: okay but I won't be replying Jimmy: 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃 Janis: [show up gal] Jimmy: [😍 af] Janis: [immediately coming at him and putting your coat on him and hugging him really tight for the warmthing] Jimmy: [SUCH a hug and SUCH a happy sigh because you missed her so much] Janis: [just telling him it's alright over and over] Jimmy: [just not letting her go for the longest time and we know it's not because he was inappropriately dressed to be thrown out into the cold] Janis: [we're allowing it, before trying to get him to walk like come on then] Jimmy: [helping her like she's the one who needs it because sweet drunken nerd] Janis: ['you're an idiot' but in a purely affectionate way] Jimmy: ['you're a top runner' what a genuine and pure thing to say sir] Janis: ['thanks' amusment] Jimmy: ['it's alright' such a genuinely cute smile like] Janis: [can't help but smile back 'I'll get you another key done tomorrow, you can hide it somewhere for emergencies'] Jimmy: ['Dunno what you heard but I'm living with your fit nan now so'] Janis: [nudging him but very gently so he's not falling] Jimmy: [dramatically hitting the deck like he's been shot but extending his hand once he's down there like come lie with me not like help me up] Janis: [being like 'Jimmy!' and getting to his side so fast 'cos you think he's actually hurt himself so then you're 😒 'how about we wait 'til we're inside to lie down, yeah'] Jimmy: [popping back up v quickly but forlorn because you don't want her to be mad at you and touching that grumpy face v softly like hey no I'm okay it's fine] Janis: [cupping his own face 'don't scare me' like barely audible even though it's assumedly pretty quiet and you're the only people about] Jimmy: [shaking his head cos he didn't mean to and he doesn't want to ever and giving her another hug] Janis: [being like soz 'cos feeling like an overreaction now and shamed] Jimmy: [just snuggling her and being soft until she feels more chill, like hide against me gal it's okay because we understand] Janis: [just have a moment kids] Jimmy: [then have a walking and handholding moment] Janis: [get to mcvickers] Jimmy: [try not to anger this nan] Janis: [just putting him to bed and going to sneaky get a tea] Jimmy: [tbf all you'd have to say is that he got locked out and she'd be fine, we know the life she lived] Janis: [although #yesallmen lmao] Jimmy: [distrust of all y'all except her own bae] Janis: [fair tbh] Jimmy: [Caleb that's something else you did, you prick] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [tea will make you feel better though Jimothy] Janis: [bring that up] Jimmy: [drinking it whilst 😍 because we're not hiding nothing tonight] Janis: [looking at him like what you looking at but knowing saying that would be dangerous rn] Jimmy: [just being like 'come here' even if she's already next to you and as close as she could physically be because you always wanna be closer than that] Janis: ['drink your tea' but sitting next to him on the bed instead of at the foot of] Jimmy: [does what he's told] Janis: [after a while 'how do you feel now?'] Jimmy: ['gutted there were no biscuits but I'll live'] Janis: [😏 'if you're actually hungry-' and half getting up] Jimmy: [lowkey probably is but stopping her from going and pulling her into him in one swag movement because priorities and having her on his lap is a shameless fave] Janis: [soft 'hey' forever] Jimmy: ['please don't leave' softer and quieter] Janis: ['you can go to sleep, and I'll still be here when you wake up' squeezing his hand in silent promise] Jimmy: [writing an o and a k on that hand with his other one but not moving other than that because we're having emotions] Janis: [laying down whilst in his lap so with her head on his chest and telling him it'll be alright again] Jimmy: [just have your snuggle kids] Janis: [lull that boy to sleep]